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Casey Rocket

Appearances

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1002.925

I put on shoes. It was winter. And I just ran into the woods. And I just ran. And it was like fucking my arms all up because it was bramble bushes. and I ran for several miles, and then there was a gas station. And I had stolen some change, so I called some of my friends, and I was like... It was like I was trying to brag, because they were 14 too, so there's nothing they could do.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1025.128

And I was like...

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1028.613

Hey, I'm in the middle of dinner right now. Let me call you back. I was like, yo, I broke out of rehab. And they were like, what? That's all right. You're like, cool, I guess. And then I called my dad and I was like, yeah, I ran away. Then he came and got me. All right, there you go. And actually, the police came and they had called the police like teenage runaway. The police took me back there.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1051.974

Then my dad came to there.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1055.876

Yeah, that sucks. I feel bad for you.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1060.077

Yeah. What the fuck was like one of those teen challenge things? You know, there's like Netflix documentaries like that troubled teen industry or is one of those things.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1253.571

They were just getting started.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1257.794

Sit down, fat boy. They said, I can't come back, which I was like, perfect. Ideal situation. Thanks, dickhead. What? No.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1268.181

Yeah, I know. Oh, what? So they said I couldn't come back because that was like a trouble to the other kids or something because I ran away. I was like, I would have ran away the first day if I knew that. Dude, he's a nightmare. I love it. So they from there, they put me in a mental hospital for like two weeks because they were like, we don't know what to do with you.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1287.652

The rehab was saying, put him in jail as like a ward of the state. Crazy. And is this just drugs?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1296.215

No, just drugs. Just us. yeah i only have uh i have a serious substance abuse problem but i don't have any mental health problems gotcha and so i both baby don't worry just that night yeah you're in good company take him to the hospital so they they put me in the hospital for a little bit i got out and then break out of there too yeah well no no they let me out eventually

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

131.113

Thank you. Happy to be here.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1320.046

So it like ran its course. I just never think about this stuff. So then I went back to public school. Okay. And then one week later, I got kicked out of public school for being high on Robitussin at the football game with my friend Brett. And our backpacks were like full of stolen bottles of wine from CVS. And they went through my pockets, and it was like Tuss. It was like a clown car.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1341.91

Just a never-ending, just a very long bottle. It was like three packs of Marlboro Reds, two bottles of Rippin' Tuss, and one bottle of wine in my pants. Crazy thing is he was the quarterback.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

135.896

In his finest DX shirt. Business as usual. I was happy to hear that you are a CEO. You're a businessman. That gives me comfort. Sure, yes. I'm also a businessman of sorts. In what sense? What type of work do you do? Ventures. Ventures. Here and there. Not capitals, just ventures. Just ventures. I'm working up to capitals. And it's been the best summer ever, and I'm happy to be here. That's great.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1361.011

Is this regular Robitussin? Yeah. Well, Robitussin DM. You can't drink CF. It gets you really sick. Like, violently sick. And sometimes we made that mistake. Like, how sick could it get you? And then you're like, ah! It's like shitting and puking family guy style out of both ends. You're like, oh, it's true. The rumors are true. But like a bottle would? Like four ounces.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1382.528

Four ounces will get you going. And then you get a Tuss tolerance. So then it's eight ounces, 12 ounces. Sure.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1392.676

I did. I drank all the time. But as far as like a day to day thing that I could have access to because I didn't have a car. Right. My mom, you know, would go get groceries. So I wanted to be high all the time. I just have that gene. Sure. I'm just a drug addict. And so I would just steal tests. Yeah. Gotcha. You'd go with your mom and you'd steal it. Mm hmm.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1412.327

When I was younger, you know, until I had a car, yeah. Until he got a car. What was that first car? A red Pontiac Grand Am. No shit. Where'd you get that? What year? It would have been a 2008. All right. Yeah, it was nice. It's a set of wheels. Yeah, I think it was $3,500. It was a nice car, $3,500. Where'd you get the cash for that? My dad bought it, and I worked it off. Gotcha.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1437.329

I slowly paid him back, yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1441.614

Yes, several times.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1444.957

I saw it out front. Several times. So I got kicked out of the ninth grade and then not even a ninth grade. Where do you go from there when you get kicked out of a public school in a rural town? So I was kicked out of the eighth grade and then they were that was for fighting. And then I had a bamboo weed pipe in my book bag, like a piece of bamboo that we had made into like a piece pipe.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1466.347

And then, so then I go to rehab. So it goes kicked out of the eighth grade rehab. I got a public school for one week. I get kicked out of public school. Then I go to the mental hospital for two weeks. Then I couldn't go to any more public schools cause I've been kicked out twice in one year. Okay. So then they sent me to military school. Really? So then I spent six months in military school.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1484.739

Yeah, when I was from 14 to 15. How was that? Awful. What was the name of it? It's called Riverside Military Academy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1492.523

It was atrocious.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1498.905

Or was it all the way through? It was middle school through high school. Yeah, so it was like 7th, 8th, and then all of high school.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1508.732

Yeah, really, really formal. Everyone's in military guard, roughly at 5 or 6 in the morning. Then you march. Everyone marches as a school, and then you break off into your platoons or your companies.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1526.004

That's part of the problem is I wasn't ever getting to get any sleep. Yeah. So I was always acting out.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1534.769

Yeah, some people. I mean, there was definitely a lot of violence, for sure, but I had a lot of friends, too. What the fuck?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1543.813

Well, I did it my semester, so I did second half of my freshman year at military school, and then enough time had elapsed where I could go back to public school. Go back in the same public school system.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1557.998

Yeah, I was like legendary. Yeah, I was like persona non grata. I was like, oh, that's that guy. That's that young Tusk kid.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1567.921

Young Tusk.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1576.826

Yeah, relatively.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1581.389

From 15, then I graduated public school, and then I graduated from Georgia Southern. Yeah. Okay. So I went to college, yeah. No kidding. What'd you get in the SATs? Is that the one with the longer number? Never mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, but I got a 22 on the, I got a 24 on the ACT.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

160.192

And it's only winter. It's only winter.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1607.189

Sure. I'm well read. Okay. Were you always reading when you were growing up?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1615.371

I like, yeah, I read a lot of books and I watch a ton of movies. I've seen probably like 10,000 movies. So you were reading on your own as a kid while you were going through all this shit?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1626.195

I know that.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1648.987

Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1649.707

which isn't really that that takes no effort to do so i've actually never read a book um because i was high all the time and even though i went back to public school i was i still i got sober for the first time when i was 21 so from from 15 to 21 it was just mayhem mayhem yeah complete chaos everything um it was it was fine i did good i graduated with a degree in journalism No shit.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1675.513

And technical writing.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1678.294

Mm-hmm. I was the head of the school magazine. Whoa. Look at this.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1685.777

Reflector.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1688.658

What was it? It was called Reflector Magazine. No kidding.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

169.738

Is that true? I was born in Normal, Illinois. Bloomington, Normal, Illinois. Okay. On a day just like today. And... Scared yet Scared yet And But I was raised in Georgia I spent my whole life in Georgia Okay So yeah North Georgia Kind of rural area When did you guys pull out of Illinois?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1694.341

Yeah, it's mainly just a list of movies you watch.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1700.885

Yeah, I had a lot of my friends from high school. So this was about five hours from where I grew up. So I kind of got out of that town.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1711.011

Yeah, I got a couple. I almost did not make it my freshman year. I got a couple strikes with the university.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1717.014

for i got i got arrested for drunken public twice and then i got i my ra you know i'm talking about the door people he came narcs i call him yeah he came into my room and i was blackout drunk and i was like who is this guy i was like trying to fight i had never met him so i was like what are you doing in my house i was like trying to fight him this guy broke into my house holy shit

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1745.339

But after that, I made pretty, I mean, for a couple years I was still drinking, but I really turned my life around when I was 18. I was like, you know, this has to change. I have to try. Because I was failing out my freshman year. I had failed like four out of my five classes. And my dad was like, you know, you're going to have to move home. Like if you don't turn it around.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1763.535

So I was like, okay, I'm going to make some change.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1765.757

where so that was that was just drinking then not no drugs um no like recreational yeah pretty much just drinking okay yeah all right but you made it through journalism degree yeah that's fucking hard man yeah that's fucking awesome yeah i enjoyed writing and it gave me a sense of purpose being uh the editor of the magazine i enjoyed that so yeah yeah that's all right sense of responsibility and then when'd you start comedy

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1789.459

I started when I was 20.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1791.583

So I started at Georgia Southern doing the school talent shows.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1795.129

All right.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1797.654

Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1801.949

So I did two years at Georgia Southern and I would go to Savannah, do open mics down there. And then I was in Atlanta proper for like nine months. Okay. And then I was in Boise, Idaho. The hotbed. All right. What were you doing there? I was there for three years and then I've been here for four years.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1823.059

I had a buddy. The people I was living with when I graduated college wanted to move out there and do like mountain bike stuff. So I just went with them. But I never did any of that stuff. I was like, oh, I'll just go hang out. It's crazy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1837.287

Uh-huh. Okay.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1844.011

Well, I met Red Band after maybe a month of being here. Okay. And at that time, I was living in my car. So I met Red Band and William just randomly. All right. Okay. And then I did kill Tony maybe eight months later or something.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1861.965

I was in the car for six months.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1865.629

At Walmart.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1872.776

Yeah. Showered at friends and playing at fitness.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1876.68

um no just trying to make it work with comedy where'd you get money how did you did you i would i would do door dash okay so i would door dash and then i would try to make the money from the gigs i was getting which is like 10 or 20 yeah yeah but when you're living in your car there's no overhead what sure what is that car at that time a ford escape so it's not it has a little bit of space where'd you get that car

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1899.941

I bought it in Idaho. Okay. From working. So you're making it work. All right. Jesus Christ. What was your first proper job as a kid? I worked at like seven different pizza places. I was just a delivery driver.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

192

When I was about four years old About four years old Yeah Brothers?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1927.49

I when I was in college, I get when I drink, I get delirium tremors. So I get the shakes and I would have to drink before I sweet. All right. I would have to drink before I drove. So I would have to drink to safely drive. So because I would have alcoholic seizures. So I would be delivering pizzas and I'd be like crushing these little four loco things called bootleggers.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1948.851

And my backseat was just full of bootleggers. I would just be driving, but I wasn't any drunker than the next guy. It was just kind of, I guess that's sound logic, but it was a college town. Like, I don't know. Yeah. But yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

195.872

I had at the time when I was born, I had an older sister. Okay. She's alive. I don't know why I said it. But at the time and at that time and at this time, I had an older sister and she's four years older than me. And then now I have two half brothers. Okay. So they are 18 and 16.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1964.759

Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1967.04

Are you listening to the show? Thanks for all that. I've been to jail several times. I've been to jail four times. Three times for drunken public and one time for shoplifting.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1984.623

It's usually like the, hey, just go home.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1989.544

Well, that's the thing is they would be like, keep it moving. And I'd be like, what did you fucking say to me?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

1996.005

Oh, my God. Yeah, I was incorrigible. Yeah, I was very police always made me super angry. So I'd be drunk. They'd be like, keep it moving. Don't you fucking tell me what to do. I pay your salary or something. You go bust a meth lab, you fucking pig. Jesus. Just a traffic cop. Hey, take it easy, kid. What were you stealing at Walmart? I was stealing from a Publix. A Publix, I'm sorry.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2020.664

And I had Walmart. Back then, they didn't have those little gates, so it was a free-for-all. The rule of thumb was to steal from Walmart because they had a no-chase policy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2044.9

Well, all I ever wanted was for someone to tell me to stop. Sure. I just wanted somebody to bring my reign to an end. Is that true? No. I don't know. Maybe. Fucking high on tusks, dude.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2067.891

There was dozens of people who told him to stop. I had a support system, but I did not. I did not care. Man, I love you. This is fucking great.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2088.24

You're fucking killing it. It's going really good. He came to watch me in like four or five cities last year. That's very nice. This has to blow his mind. I think it does.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2100.609

I know. Yeah, I think it truly, and for good reason, I think they both 100% thought I would be dead by now. Buddy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in Chicago this week, and he's coming to see me in Chicago, and then my mom's going to my other shows in Chicago, so that's continuing. I'm doing Old Town Zanies and Rosemont. Rosemont, yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2125.047

No. No? They don't see eye to eye. They don't talk. Gotcha.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2129.77

But I will tell you, when I was arrested for shoplifting, not to harp on this, just because it's a funny story, I went in there to steal beer, and it was like 4 or 5 in the morning, and I was on a bunch of Ritalin. And I was blackout drunk, obviously. And I tried to fill the shopping cart. I was so drunk, I didn't make it to the beer aisle. I just started clearing shelves into the cart.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

216.724

Yes. Well, they split up when I was like seven. So they were together for a couple years after we moved down there. Okay.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2168.575

We'll take care of it. I'll be right back. Yeah, it's one of those things where you're saying something and you're doing the opposite. So I was going, oh, yeah, for sure. I'm going to come in there and pay for it. And then I just got in my car and drove away. And they showed up at my house because they got my license plate.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2184.426

Yeah, my mom's house.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2196.883

All I ever wanted was for someone to tell me to stop. Having a cold cut.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2205.132

All right. Yeah. Who are you living with now? I have my own apartment. I live by myself. That's amazing. What kind of car you got now? I just bought a new car. It is a 2018 Toyota 4Runner. Kid's got a new 4Runner out there. Pretty good.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2234.48

Well, I have some dollars now. Sure. I did like 50 cities last year. Yeah, man. I bought a car. That's great. Love to fucking. How fucking awesome is that? Yeah. It's exciting. It's super new to me. Even last December, so not this one, the one before that, I could only sell maybe 20 tickets. So it's pretty exciting. That's amazing.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

224.488

Back and forth. Back and forth. Was it close, the houses? Relatively. Okay. Relatively. 20 minutes. 30 minutes. Was it civil? Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2265.662

Holy shit. It's absolutely true. It's my first lease. Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2271.445

We're going to need 100 months in advance. My credit is not great, understandably. But also, I'd always lived with girls. So when I moved out of... When I was living in Boise, I was living with a girl, my girlfriend. And then...

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2288.866

My man. Off the radar. Off the grid, baby. Got to be able to stick and move, dude. Yeah, well, I never want to get involved in something that I can't pack up my bags and be gone in 30 seconds. Heat logic. It's all this. It could be gone. Sounds well adjusted. Sounds healthy. So, yeah, man, I'd never been on a lease, so it's pretty exciting. That's awesome, man. I have all my stuff. It's wonderful.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2312.516

Yeah, I just got a couch last week. Where'd you buy it? What kind of store? Discount furniture store. That's okay. Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2320.899

No, they delivered it. Thankfully, it fit through the door. Yeah. What kind of bed you got over there now? I got a board mattress company free mattress from the William Montgomery show. There he is. And a bed frame that I have a button and I can make the bed stand up. Look at this guy. Come on. Come on.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

234.488

No. Next question. Not in the slightest. That's what we were looking for, baby. It was messy. It was a bloodbath. That's where I got my keen business sense. That's where I learned my ventures. Both ends against the middle. They don't negotiate with each other. But, yeah, so I was a child, and that was great. Raised in rural Georgia. Rural Georgia.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2341.134

Moving in his car.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2532.644

This is from a company called Suplex Vintage in Philly. I know Mike very well. No way. Shout out to him. Yeah, I got all my shoes from Mike. Bunch of their stuff. Yeah, they're cool guys. Great. Yeah. I got a bunch of other shirts. This... I don't know what these pants are. I have, like, three pairs of pants. I just rotate. It's just style. It's the worst thing. Of course. I'm just curious.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2566.502

No. I don't own a suit.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2570.864

Well, I had my... Okay, so... So I have a little money, but I've had my apartment for like nine months since last May, and I just got a couch. Before that, I had two director's chairs that I bought at a thrift store. So I had two director's chairs in the middle of the living room, and I would just sit there in my director's chairs and watch my movies.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2589.312

That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

259.189

It's a pretty good-sized town, but it was pretty rural. My mom is a horse trainer, so I grew up... No shit? Yeah. Like racetrack? Western pleasure. So like show horses. That sounds like a pornography. Well, there's two styles of show horses. There's English, which is like the little black hat and the chaps. Gotcha. Very proper in the crop. And they do jumping. And it's called dressage.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2595.055

Hey, you want to come over and be uncomfortable?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2602.995

Because we can't sit next to each other either. That's a tough move, dude.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2609.284

That's all right.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2614.612

Sure. Cooking a little bit. Yeah. Spaghetti. Is that your dish? I don't know. I don't cook very often. I mostly eat out.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2623.794

Do you order in?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2627.057

You know, I haven't been home very much. It's working. I'm working. I'm on the road. 50 cities. Under Riff Challenge.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2640.827

uh not very much not very much yeah how old are you when you got your passport do you have your passport i have a passport yeah i did canada i did canada three times last year yeah okay so is that when you got got it yeah uh-huh a couple years ago well i when i was 20 i did a month studying abroad in paris ah so i got a passport for that cultured man how the fuck did that happen

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2665.894

How did that happen? They let the cat out of the bag. They let the big dog eat. They let me over there, the tusk tyrant. They called me La Infante Terrible.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2682.162

It was great. It was the same cost of doing a semester at Georgia Southern, but it was just in France. Oh, I loved it. It was wonderful. That's crazy. I fell in love with a girl from Ghana, and then I never saw her again. Man. Her name is Judith. If you're out there, just call me.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2715.831

Yeah, it was a cultural shift. Yeah. A shift. I've never heard that. It was great.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2723.778

At the Universitat de Paris. The Paris University.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2730.003

Yeah, just a dorm room.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2732.725

Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2735.871

Yeah, I did. I went out to Versailles one night because the train line runs to Versailles, and they have a great train system there. And then I don't remember if I fell asleep or what, but I was out there at Versailles, which is relatively far from Paris, and the train stopped running.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2753.716

So then I was just in Versailles, in this golden city that looks like an emperor city, and it was just me on the streets. And, yeah, it was pretty tough. I don't remember how I got home. I was thinking about that the other day. You guys got any lunch meat out here? Yeah. Did you like the food over there? I'm going to have to shoplift my way back. Interpol's looking for you. Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2777.049

Yeah, man, the food was good. The chicken was real good. The chicken? What? Well, that's what comes to mind. They have, like, hormone-free chicken. Sure. Yeah, it was delicious. How's the palate? Do you like a nice dinner? I have a really, really simple palate. Like meat and cheese. Tell us. Meat and cheese. That's it, meat and cheese. Cheeseburger, pizza, meat and cheese. Taco, enchilada.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2800.076

I almost bit through my tongue eating a cheese enchilada like two days ago in Cincinnati. I bit my tongue so hard and I turned to my friend and I said, is it there? And my mouth was full of blood. Dude, that shit's the worst. Talk about rooting a fucking sandwich. I know. I fucking hate that. It's the last bite of the meal, too.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2826.421

Pete Terry's is really good out here at the Burger Place. Pete Terry's makes a fine burger. That's kind of a specialty spot. Sure. You're talking about the basics? I like Taco Bell. Taco Bell is good. He's a TB, man. He is.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2839.664

I love a frozen Baja Blast. Sure. Slushies. Goddamn gentleman. So tasty.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2848.186

Yeah, I love, I just have a really simple, no onions or anything, just meat and cheese. What do you hate?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

285.299

That's expensive stuff.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2858.262

Mustard. Hate mustard and pickles. Hey, I don't want to talk about that. Guys, let's move on from here. You get me all worked up. I can't talk about this. They hate mustard like that.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

287.62

Yeah, but then Western pleasure is like cowboy horses. So everyone, they're show horses. So you dress like a cowboy. It's basically like make-believe. And then you show these real nice horses with real nice lineages, and she would help to train the horses. Gotcha.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2873.04

A little ketchup? A little mayo? I just started putting ketchup on it about a year ago, so I've worked up to that. Man, success has gone to your head.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2882.05

Real bougie, Casey. You know what?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2898.437

I have this reoccurring thing called iritis, which is an inflammation of the iris, which is, you can go blind from it. Yeah. Whoa. I started getting it. I went to a strip club in Atlanta. This is true. I hope you believe me.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2914.226

I pray you'll believe me. On a night just like tonight. And this is maybe 10 years ago, and we went to a strip club. And the next day, I woke up, and I opened my eye, and I just started screaming. Because it is...

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2930.658

you know how your eye dilates when it's exposed to sunlight iritis is where when the dilation takes place it causes a muscle spasm like as if you're having like a back spasm or like a spasm in your thigh but it's your eyeball so it feels like your eyeball is being like torn out of your head it's extraordinarily painful and i get it once a year freaking me out

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2949.756

What does the strip club have to do with this? I don't know. I don't know. But it has to be a correlation, right? It has to be a correlation. It can't be I get this weird, because it's a super rare disease. Only like maybe 50,000 people get it in America every year.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2967.569

I'm not going to sit here and lie to you. I got a dance. I got a dance.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2976.309

Contacts. Oh, I dropped my contact. Put it back in.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2981.251

Do you wear contacts? Yeah, I don't have them in right now, but yeah, I do. Are you nearsighted or farsighted? I always forget what that means, but I can't see far. Drove here. Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

2998.277

I have glasses in my car, so it's all good.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3001.64

Have you ever been to a monster truck rally? I wish. I had Gravedigger reach out. What? Yeah, Gravedigger. It's a girl who drives it. You're officially the most famous person I've ever met. That's awesome. She messaged me a couple weeks ago, and she said that I could come to a rally or something. Whoa. I'm never around. Go. I would love that.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3028.699

I think I probably went when I was a kid. We were always going to, like, rodeos, and my mom always had, like, really, really, like, redneck boyfriends, like Bobby Ray, Billy Ray.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3039.967

Yeah. Bobby Ray. Bobby Ray.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3044.23

They divorced a couple years ago. Gotcha. Yeah, he wasn't the best guy. Yeah. Sure.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3052.116

Yeah, they're doing good. My mom lives in southern Illinois again. She moved back to our old family farm. So she out there. No, no neighbors in the middle of cornfields out there.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3067.1

Your mom. Well, it's from like her childhood. Yeah, it's like her great grandfather. It's like two acres and then a little little farmhouse out there. Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3077.836

Yeah, it had changed hands with different people in the family, and then now she has it, yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

308.598

Strike number one. Shh. Yeah, I didn't enjoy it at the time, but I've grown to become fond of them. Does she still do it? Mm-hmm. That's pretty good. What was the house like, girl? Was it a house, a condo, a townhouse? My dad, when I would be at my dad's, it was like a house, like a two-story house, like a regular house.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3083.258

Yeah, it's really nice out there. So she's got her horses, and she's got like seven or eight horses she's gathered through the years. That she owns? Yeah, well, there's some in the barn that are leased there. Trying to make the cash. People pay her. Yeah, of course. And does she train the horses that she owns to perform? Yeah, she still shows them sometimes, yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3104.924

She won something at the Congress, the World Horse Congress, which is like the Super Bowl of horse riding a couple years ago. No shit. She won a show or something. Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3127.884

The kid's making moves. I just got home. The bed goes up and down.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3133.851

He just does that ten times a day. Did you go and get a physical? No. I just want to flash the card for the chicks. Well, they sent me a letter in the mail because I was gone for three weeks. I just got back yesterday, and they said, hey, we're going to cancel your insurance. They might have canceled it because I didn't pay it. Okay. But I had medical insurance, if only for a moment.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3167.524

I like it. I like it. I feel generally more like my life is more together when I'm on the road than when I'm home. Sure.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3176.232

Because I don't have I have a girlfriend. I have a bisexual girlfriend in Atlanta.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3186.72

I have a bisexual artist girlfriend, and she lives in Atlanta, so I don't remember where I was even going with that. I guess I just wanted you guys to know that.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3196.347

Shoehorn that in.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3203.712

I truly don't know where I was going with that. Travel, I think. Sure, travel. I asked you about hotels. When I come back to hotels, yeah, for sure. My girlfriend's bi.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3216.984

when I'm home I feel lost like I'll be gone I've just been doing last year I was gone way too much then I would come home and I feel like I wouldn't know my friends anymore and I would just feel really lost here you mean yeah gotcha but so I'm trying to find a better after the next couple weeks it's I'm doing weekends now which is a blessing so I will be home more than I was yeah yeah yeah because when you're doing one-nighters you can line up I mean you could be gone forever a month yeah yeah sometimes I'll be gone for like one or two months yeah

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3247.964

United. Oh. You're United, man. Yeah. Okay. But I'm thinking about switching to Delta because they lost my bag. Bastards.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3266.569

It's new. She is one of my really good friends from high school. Yes. No, I'm sorry. She...

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3274.532

I didn't finish my sentence. See? One of my really good friends from high school who I moved to Idaho with, that is her brother. So she is one of my best friend's sisters.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3285.138

Basically. I knew her from when I was like maybe 18.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3289.641

Yeah. Now you're... Now we're dating, yeah. Now you're killing it. We're in love. We just started dating like a month ago. So it's super new. But it's interesting because I was gone. You know, I've seen the world. I've been out there. I've done different things. And then I came back to finally be with someone who is from where I'm from.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

329.494

But then my mom's house— How many times have you said house makes me think it was not a house? It was totally normal house, two-story house, two-story house. Tons of doors. You guys would have loved it.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3306.448

At the end of the day, I came home and I said, you know what, this person, I really looked at her and I was like, you know what I really like? I was searching for something, and it was right there the whole time.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3328.373

I went around the world, but she was right there the whole time.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3364.236

Aunt Soupy. That's a real one? That's my aunt's name, Aunt Soupy. Aunt Soupy. Well, I have an Aunt Cindy, so that's very close. Not as weird, but close. No. Okay. Yeah, Joey, Jeff. It's kind of right up the middle. Brad. You got an Uncle Brad? I got an Uncle Brad. Uncle Brad's all right. He's the main uncle. He's got a bunch of kids. A bunch of my cousins are via Brad. They come to Ken of Brad.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

338.84

You guys would have loved it. It was perfect. But my mom's, we would move around all the time. So sometimes we would be like in a camper. Sometimes we would be like. Why get the fuck out of here? Yeah, like a real small camper. And I burned it down on accident. I was lighting. You did it on purpose. That's absolutely true. I was lighting little fires in the sink.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3392.283

By way of Brad. You close with the family? Relatively, just around the holidays.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3399.886

My dad's house.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3403.759

yeah yeah my little brothers are younger now they're older 16 and 18 but yeah so I yeah whatever every Christmas I'll fly home go do it down there because they're little kids so yeah it's mostly for them Thanksgiving I stay here stay here but if I did do it in the past it's always been at my dad's yeah now like this year will you decorate your apartment but maybe put a little tree do a little something or no

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3428.416

I had a little Santa by the door okay but I don't you know I didn't have a girlfriend or anything like living with me so it's all just me so my apartment is covered like head to toe and like Donnie Darko Paul Thomas Anderson like guy stuff Rust Cole Drew Detective shit

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3484.915

Yeah, I keep it pretty clean.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3488.96

Yeah, keep it pretty tip-top. Cleanliness is next to godliness. They taught us that at military school. Jesus Christ. Taught me that when I was digging stumps.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3523.554

But it's an artist's life.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3539.904

It's nature or nurture.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3544.42

Can I be both? Duality of man. Sure. You can walk in both worlds. Yeah. I dip my toes in both. Spaghetti. I don't really make spaghetti. I was just trying to impress y'all. I don't make... Come on. What are we doing here? He's got you fucking... I just wanted y'all to think that I cook. Do you drink milk? Do you like milk? If y'all do. I don't drink it like that.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3565.531

I'm sorry, I think there's no bisexual girlfriend. I don't drink it like that. Okay.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3572.653

No mayonnaise. It's a plain Jane, meat and cheese. I just started using ketchup. Ketchup is new for me.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3584.002

I'm reading a book about a doomed Arctic expedition called The Worst Journey in the World. That's pretty good. Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

359.271

and why i i guess i was just bored or i was angry i don't know i was really young sure and then the i couldn't it got bigger than i anticipated some things were burning some things got out of hand and i grabbed the nearest thing and i poured it on it when it was nail polish fluid and it fucking and i burned down our little home Who lived there? Was it just you and her? Just me and her.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3626.226

And we need to be talking about it right now. It was purple, yeah. I would have been a hero. They would have threw me a fucking parade.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3643.619

Yeah, uh-huh.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3645.725

Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3650.928

No. Damn. HP. Damn, I was rooting for you. Kindle. I got an HP.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3660.752

No. Hunter S. Thompson style. No, not Thompson style. I saw an interview once with Paul Thomas Anderson, and he said that he learned how to direct movies from watching a bunch of movies. So I was like, you know, I'm basically him. I basically made Boogie Nights when I was 26. Yeah. I am La Infant Terrible. I am a wunderkind.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3681.501

He was really young. That's crazy. Dude, he made Magnolia when he was 30, which is like this beautiful three-hour opus. It's unbelievable. Frank T.J. Mackey. Yeah. The best. So I figure that's probably where I'm at in my life. I'm just Paul Thomas Anderson. So that's how I view myself. And then I go on stage and talk about worms for an hour or two.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3711.58

Yeah. Very cool to see, man.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3713.942

Thank you, guys. What do you got coming up? You got a tour? I'm on tour. Casey Rocket comedy dot com. I'm doing 30 cities this year, going to Australia, going to the UK, going to Australia, going to Australia. Well, what's the fucking shoplift? Nothing over there.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3731.85

UK, Ireland, going all over the place. But yeah, CaseyRacketComedy.com. Yeah, thank you all so much, buddy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

3755.968

Appreciate you.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

382.741

I don't know where my sister was at that time, but it was super small. But that was like a pretty small portion. That was like six months maybe. Was the camper on like a site or were you just kind of popping up? It was behind the barn. So it was just out in the woods.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

399.369

yeah that she would rent i guess gotcha doesn't even own the barn she's renting the barn sure that makes sense though it's like some rich guy that owns the barn she's a horse trainer for sure yeah all right um and then we would move all we would move around we lived in a barn for a while like a little apartment sure we all uh we all slept in the same bed so what age we talking there um maybe eight or nine probably too old is this when your parents were still together

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

426.428

No, no, no, no.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

428.929

Yeah. Whoa. What'd your dad do? What does he do? Yeah. Business, just like me.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

441.112

Suit and tie man, cup of coffee.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

445.693

Yeah, he pitches products to Home Depot. So people come to him with a product, and he's like the middleman. Yeah. Gotcha.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

457.916

Yeah. Yeah. Really? Yeah. So he like sets up at what do you call them? Like conferences and he'll have his booth with the products of the people and really try to push like the buyers or whatever. Yeah. Like Lowe's Home Depot.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

472.181

He could pop like that. Maybe. I don't know the extent of I don't know. He's really described it to me.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

479.423

Because he does give little presentations. I've never been there. Do you still talk to both of your parents? Yes. Okay. Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

493.293

I do. I feel like I'm talking to Kaiser Soze over here. Start talking in a British accent. My mother's name was Couch Desk.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

504.562

Couch Desk shoe knob, so it's pretty cool.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

509.805

It was fine. I went to public school. Okay.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

518.209

I could see him being a smart guy though. Relatively. I mean, it came relatively easy to me, but I never like tried at it. Like B's and C's. Okay. That's pretty good. Fair enough. Not bad. Sports? Yeah, baseball. My dad was my baseball coach. Really? All right.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

534.996

He was he pitched at Illinois State. So he was a baseball player. And he was my rec baseball coach from when I was four to when I was 18. So, OK, my whole life, he was my baseball coach. Can he throw heat? He was a curveball guy. Eighty five topped out at eighty five. Had some movement on it, though. A little bit of Western pleasure.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

557.487

Shortstop, primarily. But I would move around. I was a utility man.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

562.452

Chase Utley.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

565.114

Played for the Blue Jays for a couple of seasons. Yeah, tapered off towards the end there. Did you do that in high school, too? Did you play for your high school team? I didn't. I only played rec. Yeah. Okay. Just rec. I was decent. I never really tried at it, though. I love love baseball. I'm a huge Cubs fan, but I never applied myself.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

585.787

Disney World.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

587.368

It's not bad.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

589.95

That was just when they were together. So I have a memory of going there a couple times. And then never been on one with my mom. We didn't have the money to do that. Sure. Working single mom. Yeah. My dad, he took me a couple times to a beach. Yeah, like South Carolina. What? A beach. A house. Business. Tried to pull away. You're chasing the car. I never think about this stuff.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

619.746

Yeah, it took me to a beach. Sounds like you're making up an alibi on the spot.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

633.235

Yeah, he remarried when I was 10. Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

639.36

I did not when I was a kid. It was very contemptuous. Yeah. What age did that happen? Oh, so you said 10. I was 10. Gotcha. Yeah. And then my mom remarried when I was 15, maybe. All right. Yeah. Were you in that wedding?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

654.671

I was in my dad's wedding. Crab walking down the aisle. Yeah. But by the time my mom remarried, I was completely, I was gone on the TUS. I was completely, I was high all the day. All the day. All the live long day. On Robitussin. On TUS and weed and TUS. Wait, really? You were doing Robitussin? He was Robo-tripping. That's what I've heard about the man. For a short period of my, from 14 to 15.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

677.464

So for two years I was doing that. Really? That's a pretty long period of your life to be Robo-tripping. 700 day TUS challenge. Let's see if you can beat it out there.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

686.349

did they know uh oh yeah for sure i don't think that's something you can hide so i know yeah i talk about that it's got a bad call my hour all the time you can't hide it they would come in my room and i just he's crawling on the ceiling you're trying to have a normal conversation but you talk really slowly too as you're like hey yeah hey you're like can't you're so raspy Hey.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

711.352

Like Bradley Cooper in A Star is Born. Hey. He's going to look at you again. Get another look at you. I want you one more last look at you. Your mom's like, Casey, what the hell are you talking about? Yeah, I know. I just came here to tell you goodnight.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

734.41

No. No, she did not, but he had two daughters, so then I had two stepsisters over there, and then my dad's wife that he married had a stepdaughter, so then that house had a stepdaughter and then two little kids.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

756.235

Yeah. All right. But they my sister. So she is four years older than me. So when I got to high school, she was gone. So then at that time, yeah, it was a lot of going back and forth all the time. And I would get kicked out of their houses like every show that.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

771.497

Oh, just being horrible. Being incorrigible. Yeah, lighting fires. Just being a monster. Just not listening to rules and whatever. So you were a handful as a kid. Oh, I was absolutely awful. Seems like a bit of a handful now.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

787.31

Crash my car. Turn my phone off and stay places for days at a time. And then they'd be like, hey, man, like you, like what? Like party at a friend's house, turn my phone off. And then eventually he'd be like, all right, you have to leave. And I just have to turn the phone back on. Hey, sorry. And yeah, just was getting drunk and high all the time. Just had a substance abuse problem.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

808.862

And they would just pop you back and forth.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

816.645

Yes. Yeah. I figured that. Yes, absolutely. Where did you stay then? I like at a friend's house. Got my own condo in Boca.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

824.748

yeah a friend's house with like a nice family and all that stuff and they were cool to you um yeah sure yeah they were nice well it'd just be random people for a day or two yeah okay all right but yeah when i was 14 they sent me to a rehab for nine months but i ran away i ran away after 10 days

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

843.556

nine months that's fucking the whole year and this is for tussin um yeah tuss and pills uh because opioids were really big where i was from how old are you yeah i was 14 i'm 30 now 30 so you're yeah that's the tail end of the opioid i caught the the 2011-2012 the tail end of the purdue farm almost got me I live to fight another day. Talk about big business.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

875.858

It wasn't court mandated. My dad was paying for it. Was it a nice one? I guess. It was teenage rehab, so it was just teenagers, and we would just dig stumps all day. It was like spiritual revelation through labor. Sure. Digging stumps sucks. Oh, it was awful, and it was fruitless. It was like martyrs, that French movie, Logic, where it's like, we will break you down to where you are like God. God.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

906.769

take me away from this suffering so it was like sleep deprivation we would only sleep like four or five hours a night the fuck kind of we go to passages or something yeah i would have like that's crazy maybe i would have stayed but yeah how'd you get out did you like escape or do you just i ran i ran away so i at night there was a one hour break after like a prayer time yeah

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

929.682

There was a prayer time and then there was like I knew it was like a Shawshank thing. I was like, I was like, OK, if I, you know, if I sneak out at this time storm. Yeah, I was like, if if I leave at 910, they won't know I'm gone until 945. And that'll give me time to fucking get some serious mileage. It's only a half an hour.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

958.641

No, I was 14, so... I was a little kid. That's so funny.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

966.629

Yes. Where did you physically go? It's really, really... That was super rural. That was, like, up in the mountains, and I remember somebody telling me that there was a gas station. Like, they said, you know there's a gas station, like, two miles from here, and I was like,

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Casey Rocket!

980.362

yeah where is it though like I was like dropping hints like trying to figure out the location so if I left next Tuesday at 9 10 how would I get there how would I get there exactly they just said take a left and I was like That's quite literally what happened. And I was like, all right, I'll take a left. Bang a left at the stump and keep going. That's nuts. So I snuck out. I took someone's jacket.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1008.798

And that giraffe had to be eaten so the lion could proceed with its life. I know. They don't have grocery stores like us. I know. I know.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1027.633

The first meal, yeah. Yum. Just gets that baby giraffe. Circle of life. Circle of life. You ever see those alligators or crocodiles tear up that zebra? Because what they do is they'll bite and then they turn. And then they turn and it rips off this zebra's face. The Gibson method. Oh my God. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

105.545

Guys, you make me feel like I'm built like a fucking pro athlete. God damn. Maybe I had you moved a little bit too forward. Should he scoot back? You can scoot back. No, no, no, we're going to keep it like that. Yeah, I know.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1090.763

Yeah, Grant, is your friend going to be out there to fix anything?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1123.185

Oh, that's sad. Congratulations. Damn. Awesome. A little gross. I did. Who tensed up a little bit? I did.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1173.046

I thought it was the drugs, like you said.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1203.928

I rarely come to Austin, so it's nice to be here.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1209.23

I always enjoy myself. Oh no, you got in yesterday and your flight was all delayed. Yeah, it was crazy delayed. I got to the airport, because my flight was at like 9.30 or whatever, and then it was like, then it got pushed back four hours, and I was like... So, just sitting in the airport, like, yeah. What do you do? I don't know. Oh, I was reading. Oh, nice. Wait, one of the self-help books?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1233.954

Which book was I reading? No, I was reading a Stephen King book. It's called On Writing. It just talks about writing.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1257.051

He got into drugs? I haven't gotten that far yet.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1260.552

No, I love a good spoiler. I don't really care about that shit.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1271.817

And that's why he wrote Cujo about the fucking crazy dog? Was Cujo on cocaine?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

129.974

We're on big man turf. Yeah, we sure are. We can keep it that way. It's totally fine. It's big boy hour. It's big boy hour.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1313.955

How were they exposed? Wait, who said this?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1418.708

Ready, set, go. Best animal actor.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1489.101

Was it after the movie? It was.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1492.304

That's like this dark side of Hollywood. That's what happened. Yeah. That was none since Darkseid. And then he ripped a face off.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1502.13

Yeah, he's barred out. Seriously. He's doing green holes. I think Grant gave him the Xanax. He did.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1554.505

What is that type of monkey? There's a Pongo Pygmasius.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

156.444

As a black man. Get him out of the field. And I got two white guys.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1579.702

Weißt du, es gab eine Schimpanse-Show, wo sie Live-Schimpanse benutzen, um dieses Show zu machen. Sie hätten Voice-Overs für sie. Sie würden actieren? Es war aus der... Was ist es, Grant? Was ist es, Lancelot Link?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1612.929

Yep. Secret Chimp. That guy right there. He's driving? Yes, they can drive.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1621.84

Yeah, I don't know why they don't want to admit it, but yeah, they can drive. What? Yeah. Yep, right there.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1630.7

Er ist ein Geheimdienst.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1652.032

He's doing like Mexican accents. It was 1970. 1970, yeah. So I knew I was there. But look at that, yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1665.065

Yeah, and I can't get one fucking acting job. Can you believe that? Can't even get the Jumanji reboot. But Lancelot Link is his fucking all the glory. I wonder if he's still alive. They live forever. They live for a long time.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1679.185

Michael Jackson is still alive. Bubbles. Bubbles, yeah. Bubbles can moonwalk. Do you think Bubbles thinks about Michael often? Yeah. Because his sister went and told Bubbles that Michael had passed away. And he went...

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

171.31

At first I was loving the field. Now I just feel like... You know. No, I love it. I love it. No, keep the field. Keep the chair too. The field stays. We have to do it. We have to, I mean. We gotta do it.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1722.5

Sie sagten, dass er aggressiv wurde, weil sie aggressiv werden. Sie sagten, dass Bubba ihn startete zu schnappen.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1739.632

Habt ihr gesehen, es war ein Dokumentarfilm? Bitte, komm raus.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1762.348

Yeah, come on. Bubbles can fight. Did you ever see that documentary about the crazy chimp lady? Yeah, chimp crazy. Is that what it's called?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1809.838

She's like the crazy chimp lady. She owns a bunch?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

182.519

We already started. Are you guys sure you don't want this? I look how I look. There we go. Whoa.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1824.428

Look what Grant went through for a fucking splinter. You don't think a chimp eating your fucking... I'm fucking dying. I'm dying.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1852.685

I'd be like, bitch, I bite too.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1855.767

You think I don't like getting barred out? Grant, what is the strength of a chimpanzee in comparison to humans? Let me look. Strength of chimp?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1898.612

Ich glaube, jetzt sind sie stärker. Oh, ich würde seinen Arsch schlagen. Nein? Ich würde seine Beine schlagen. Ja, einfach seine Beine schlagen und sie können nichts tun.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1955.013

Ich weiß. Das ist seltsam. Sie machen das nicht mehr so.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

1977.204

Do we have a superhero chimpanzee?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

203.425

Let me adjust, let me adjust. Wow, that's actually... I'm so far behind in technology that I didn't know you could do this.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2043.474

Yeah. We're not all able to do... We want a real chimp, not a go-go gadget fucking... Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2064.442

You've piqued our interest.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2080.63

Now, is he an American hero? Let me look it up.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2095.499

Yeah, I need a true American monkey hero. Yeah, yeah. That's what I need.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2128.847

Who walks out of an intervention?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

214.207

Now we're talking. Oh my God.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2144.879

Also, it's hilarious that you would try to do an intervention for a guy on Saturday.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2151.383

I think the timing was just a little off.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2155.566

Maybe another day. Day after, pretty good. Day before.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

216.808

Yeah, now I'm on the coffee table.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2168.982

Alright, well, let him know how you guys feel.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2201.81

We are your family, Grant. Thanks, guys.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2212.717

I didn't get to see Stitch.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2233.848

You were born in Tennessee, right? Yes, in Memphis, yeah. I was born in Arizona, so I wonder if we crossed Baby Pass at all.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2270.124

Like strollers crossing paths?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2310.743

Ein Junge, der zu fucking Crossfade hört oder so. Weißt du diese Band? Okay, ich mache dir eine bessere. Wake me up, wake me up, it's I can't wake up. Who is this, Crossfade? Yeah. Damn.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

236.101

Das ist gut. War das das, was es ursprünglich war? Das war das, was es ursprünglich war. Jetzt fühle ich mich, ich weiß nicht, wie gut wir es hatten. Wie fühlen Sie sich darüber? Ich habe einen Schmerz oder so. Ja, ich bin gestresst.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2365.774

Das ist der Grund, warum ich es nicht so groß gemacht habe, weil sie den Mann ausgeschnitten haben.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2398.228

Yeah, he for sure used a straightener.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2402.841

Guck dir seine Augen an. Sie sind alle flach.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2422.318

Alright, who would you be in Evanescence?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2438.59

Du sahst den Plan. Du sahst, was sie tun. Ich konnte das Schreiben auf der Wand sehen.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2482.863

You know, I felt the discomfort.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2559.419

Casey, it's interesting, you said sawdust, and meanwhile he got a splinter in his finger.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2568.002

You put it off for as long as you could. That's weird, Grant. I think it's time to wrap up this episode.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2613.088

Look at that. Right there.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2616.469

That's me. There we go. God damn. I can figure this out. Look at this.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2641.283

Wasn't it Nichols? So Grant, you're connected to... Timothy McVeigh. Weird.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2649.851

Grant was a Branch Davidian.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2680.321

I remember when they shot him. He got shot. He was just posted up.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2693.312

So that's Grant's North Star. I think that's what you're trying to say.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2742.297

We were like, fuck you. Fuck you, psycho. We fucked up, yeah. Fuck you, maniac. Oh, wait, wait, wait. What's the...

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

275.282

Was there classes on Excel?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2755.964

And you were the people who all were like... Oh, wow. Look at it. They were bragging. We fucked up. We shouldn't have talked all that shit. We talked a lot of shit.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2766.072

Look at this animation scale. Give them my regards.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2772.257

All right, well, say who you want to say goodbye to. The Academy. The Academy. I want to say bye to the Police Academy. Yeah, they're so funny. And I'm talking about the movies because I love them. They're so funny.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2795.961

He was also in It Takes Two with the Olsen Twins.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2827.928

You can't write shit like that. Not anymore. I don't even think they allow that.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2852.436

Siehst du das Bild von mir und Casey hier?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2860.316

I was making all the cool robotic noises. I was like... Michael Winslow? I said, are you doing Winslow? And you said, I did it first. Yeah, I did it first.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2888.737

I don't know. You put me in a tough spot. Sorry, you don't have to answer.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2910.363

Over the ridgeline. That makes sense, because I grew up in the desert, so that is the... Does it kind of sound like that? Yeah, that is the accurate noise, yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2925.112

Okay. Ja, ich dachte, ich habe einen großen, offenen Raum. Ich werde für das vouchen. Ja. Wer von Arizona gehört, voucht für das auch. Weil du weißt. Cool.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2958.922

Es klingelt nicht, aber es schlägt.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

297.818

Which one's Georgia Southern? That's...

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

2979.176

Und dann, wenn du zur Küche gehst, sagst du, Körner!

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3003.361

Ich hatte diese Dishs. In Denver.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3038.783

I should do that with the apartment I grew up in with my family. Hey, can I come in? That's it.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3060.85

Hast du das Ding von JLo gesehen, als sie zurück in ihre alte Nachbarschaft geht? Ja. Und sie sagt, ich habe hier früher gelebt. Und der Mann sagt, wer bist du?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

308.393

You can read all that stuff.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3084.072

Ja, schau dir das Bett an. Das ist ein Traum.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3124.733

Also, there's so many ghosts.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3142.245

Oh, ja, du hast recht. Also, glaubst du, dass derjenige, der die Geistergeschichten macht, oder nicht, er geht zu den, äh, den, äh, geheimen Orten? Was ist sein Name? Zach Baggis? Zach Baggis? Ja, ja, ja, ja.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

316.399

I don't even get it. How does one get there?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3173.324

She's gonna make a ton of money.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3181.642

I mean, for a couple grand, yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3187.886

So that's the co-host and his wife tried to get him killed?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3194.05

Oh, that's what he looks like now? Yeah, he really matured in a good way.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3228.814

What kind of church did you go to?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3254.399

Wait. Like the girl from Power Rangers, the movie, that when she twirled those sticks and the birds flew away? Very similar to that. You know what I'm talking about?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3293.232

What about drums? Try a guitar. Wait, no, shit. It's all guns. Yeah, it's all guns. For whatever reason.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3302.379

Wait, that was kind of like hitting the tingy.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3305.52

Right, fuck. See, I gotta work on it.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3378.065

Wait, did you go to church? No, my mom stopped taking me and my brother to church because we were getting fights at church all the time. With your brother? Yeah, he slammed me. I grabbed him by his neck to choke him and then he threw me into someone's Cadillac and the dude got pissed. He was like, man, what you throwing in my Cadillac for? Oh, damn. Oh my gosh. So she stopped taking us after that.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

340.336

And is that so wrong? No, I read a lot too, but I don't read books on coding. Mine's more self-help, so I don't go crazy. Holy shit, something freaky is fucking going on.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3403.285

Fair enough. Right? And then when my white parents, when I was adopted into the white family, they, yes, they're very about church and I got sent to church camp. Oh, I said I agreed to church camp. I didn't get sent there. And then I thought church camp was really weird.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3431.675

Were they like crying and holding their hands up? Yeah. Just praising. I kind of remember that. I thought that was wild. Yes. Yes. Take it. Take it all. Yeah. You're 10. You don't have anything.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3477.533

And you never took a peek?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

353.664

So how do you solve this one?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3570.136

Yeah, you don't seem too scared in this photo.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3653.569

Casey, for someone that didn't grow up around mud, can you explain what MRSA is?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3671.348

And you can get in the mud?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3732.264

Take me. I would not take you.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3775.589

I don't think that's Casey anymore. I think that's someone else. It sounded, did you hear that? Yeah, that was like, that was not Casey. Yeah. I just came to do a podcast. Did you guys hear that? I just came to be on a podcast as a guest. I didn't come for like these like demons. Did you? Yeah. You know, I just wanted to talk to you guys to be quite honest. Grant, play that back.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3803.953

Yeah, it's like, were you talking in reverse or something? So we can really hear what he said, like the Led Zeppelin Stairway to Heaven.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3840.875

Ich habe nicht gefragt. Also, anstatt Gott dich zu nehmen, hat er dir einfach das stankige Bein gegeben? Ja.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3893.337

I've seen the happening. How does that one end again?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3925.769

I still haven't fully been explained what that means.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

393.104

Okay, this, this, now let me know where you need me to adjust.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3942.065

Yeah, how do you think I got that? A wooden sock trick. Can we see wooden socks after you search this?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3973.633

Warum haben sie Masturbation zu Gooning verändert?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

3979.812

Is that the young kids right now? Change the words.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

403.895

Grant, thank you for bringing... Er ist auf dem Boden, in seinem Büro. Oh, er sitzt auf dem Boden? Ja.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

4062.336

Thanks for having me. This is awesome. And also you got a special. Yes, I did a Don't Tell special, 30-minute special with Don't Tell Comedy. Nice. Yes.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

4073.48

They can find me at a Weezer concert or, you know, Chappelle Lacey on everything. Cool.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

457.192

Hey, weißt du, was ich nicht verstanden habe über Jumanji? Was?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

469.634

Ja, Grant ist verdammt im Hintergrund. Warte, was hast du gesagt? Oh, was ich nicht verstanden habe über Jumanji. Ich dachte, ich könnte dir sagen, keine Sorge, ich warte. Der Vater am Anfang ist der Typ, der sie schießt. Der Hunter, der britische Hunter. Ja, der gleiche Typ. Es ist der Vater. Same, same.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

504.971

We could have been the Jumanji reboot. It could have been us.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

528.56

Aber ich denke, er war in der SNL. Ja. Und Lorne Michaels würde ihn nicht lassen. Er ist ein Vertreter. Ja, Vertreter.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

544.816

Er sieht einfach so aus. Oh ja. Und David Spade ist auch aus Arizona, so wie ich. Oh, kein Witz. Siehst du das? Du siehst diese Korrelation? Bisbee. Bisbee. Er kennt seine Arizona-Cities.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

562.553

two right off the bat right off the bat deep cut ones yeah deep cut no one comes swinging out the gate like that come on not on arizona references and what also is the grand canyon in that arizona yes the grand canyon is yeah good job tell me grant what a pole doesn't look exactly like him yeah that's casey that could have been you In a perfect world.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

584.234

I don't know how old you are, Casey, but... Just old enough. Just old enough, yeah. Old enough for Jumanji.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

594.239

That's good Jumanji age, yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

607.646

And your birthday's in January?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

610.026

How do you know that? Because he's also January. Oh yeah. He's three days after me.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

616.816

I'm January 23rd. I'm 9th and 26th. Grant, you're January what?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

625.295

Wait, really, Grant? Grant with a finger is January 14th. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

630.158

Finger Grant? Wow. I didn't know you were calling me this.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

688.179

Ist das ein Cockring für Finger?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

72.722

Yeah, this one seems very peaceful. We got the little baby deer in the back. It looks like a baby. That's not a grown one yet. It's at least adolescent.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

726.201

Wow, so how long were you on the operating table?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

744.505

It's like a Jackson Pollock painting.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

752.126

I think you could have done this yourself.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

774.236

Ja, es gehört zu seinem Schlafzimmer. Also du hast einen Splinter in deinem Schlafzimmer? It's renovated. It's all messed up. Oh, you got the wooden toilet. Okay. We're taking it back.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

789.32

It's like a weird design. What's the kind of wood? What kind of wood is that wooden toilet?

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

798.703

Yeah, soft balsa. So your balls got stuck in the wooden toilet and it fucked up your finger and you got surgery. Okay.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

854.123

I'm still trying to understand why the tying of the finger.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

879.2

So how long was the ambulance ride? Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

938.301

Ich schaue viele Tiere im Wild, die sich gegessen haben. Das ist wie meine Freundin, wie wilde Hunde, die spotten wilde Hunde, weil sie die Dinge lebendig essen. Sie mögen nicht wie Hunde und so, sie schlagen sie aus, machen sicher, dass sie dann essen. Während wilde Hunde, sie attackieren einfach. Oh, okay. Weil sie schnell essen müssen, weil die Läufer ihre Essen entlasten.

The William Montgomery Show

Shapel Lacey | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 173

956.613

Also essen sie es einfach lebendig. Weil sie klein sind. Weil sie sehr süß sind. Ja, und es gibt überall Blut.

The William Montgomery Show

Redban | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 177

1118.084

Maybe we should call him up right now.

The William Montgomery Show

Redban | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 177

1133.5

Because you weren't there.

The William Montgomery Show

Redban | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 177

1399.686

I'm here. Some of the suggestions on Reddit say it is a cat from behind.

The William Montgomery Show

Redban | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 177

1411.91

Like a cat butt in the tail. Here again, flip it. Oh, my gosh. Or maybe a hanging bat.

The William Montgomery Show

Redban | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 177

1420.053

Oh, wow. But I don't. Or wait, someone said like a Santa gnome that got squashed. Maybe.

The William Montgomery Show

Redban | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 177

2188.98

Yeah, that's Reality Bites.

The William Montgomery Show

Redban | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 177

2505.581

Yeah. Your mustache is very long. It looks like it's all sucking into your mouth.

The William Montgomery Show

Redban | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 177

2877.901

Yeah, I remember that story as well.

The William Montgomery Show

Redban | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 177

3047.485

I think it is, but it does look weird because he doesn't have the long hair. I'll find a better side by side. Long hair that he has?

The William Montgomery Show

Redban | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 177

3055.708

Yeah. Hold on. What kind of hair does he have?

The William Montgomery Show

Redban | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 177

3532.638

The Red Letter Media guys. Are they modern day? They review movies. They're pretty. They go way in depth.

The William Montgomery Show

Redban | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 177

3542.664

Yeah, they're pretty funny. I think they reviewed each of the Star Wars movies and their reviews were longer than each of the movies.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

100.29

If you're kissable, you're getting kissed.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1173.314

I've heard many such cases. And that's why the real estate market, it's not a Trump thing. It's not a Biden thing. It's in it's in the shitter right now.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

120.353

The streak. Unbroken and unbeaten. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1267.817

You got to protect yourself, and most importantly, protect your heart.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1318.948

Well, Sasquatch, as most of you know, are made out of dark matter, so they can phase in and out of our reality at a whim because most of the universe is made out of dark matter. So I'm sure he went into all of this, but it's sad to see that he's been taken for a ride love-wise because he seems to be on the right track about a lot of other things.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1453.635

Well, it was like organized by bigger leaves and smaller leaves, and they're stapled to the walls so it looks like wallpaper.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1465.863

Smells like wet leaves. Smells like wet leaves.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

165.111

I look, you know, they say it all changes when you look at your newborn baby face. Yeah. Yeah. I want to look at my son and go, you know what? I'm responsible for something bigger than myself now.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1661.918

You want to get a little bit of that pot of gold or you want to end up doing five to ten in Leavenworth, little freak?

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1675.605

Maybe we mail you something. Maybe we mail you something. Give the feds a tip.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1704.247

We contain dualities, and I think for both your teams to be having a pretty dang good season is a big victory in and of itself.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1738.108

Talking about she met a king. Talking about she's going to become a nun.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1768.243

I fucking hate that shit. That one in the far right, I don't even know what you looked up to find that, but I never want to see it again.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1867.877

You can't sneak a riff past me. All I do when I leave this studio, if I'm not on stage, I'm reading Wikipedia. I'm reading Wikipedia. I'm getting more knowledge. I'm reading books about weird medical cases. I know all kinds of shit about Sasquatch to Benghazi. You can ask me anything. Nobody sneaks a riff past me.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1899.078

You wouldn't want to walk around in this mind, Vashi Bunyan. It would fucking drive you crazy. You would end up in the loony bin. Glucose.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1965.634

Oh, dude, that's exactly where. Oh, my God, they love foliage. Brown recluses, you know where they love. If you have an old shed out back full of old boxes. Yeah. Come on.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

1978.643

They love hanging out in old, wet cardboard. God.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2027.76

Parrish. That's interesting. Parrish. That's what they call counties in Louisiana. Carcosa, True Detective.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2038.163

Yeah, I finished it. It's probably the 10th time I've watched it. I got my ears pierced, so it hurts to wear these headphones.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2075.53

Wait, did it hurt? He said, three, two, and he did it on two. And then I said, oh. And he said, it's already been done, little freak. Then he gave me a kiss. And I said, thanks, man.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2098.563

I was trying to do it all week in Portland. And then we finally got an appointment at this place. They have me in the chair and she goes, oh, I'm sorry, I need to see your ID. And then I go, whoopee, my driver's license is expired. So I show her and she goes, sorry, the government comes and checks. And I go, you're run by the government? Yeah, what? Yeah, I kind of got really sassy.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2127.0

So for every dollar, how much gets kicked back up to fucking NATO? Damn. But she stood her ground. I'll give her that. She kicked me right out. She said, if you don't got an ID, you got to go.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2188.685

Needle exchanges, safe injection sites.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2192.788

tinfoil dispensaries it's all the vaccine it's all the same but i went to some sexy tattoo parlor it was called like rocks off fucking tattoo burlesque deal i was up there on burnett road i can meet you guys there after the show but it was yeah just some sexy parlor oh my gosh and then they did it and you were scared but you went through with it yeah they went on two and then by this the second year i went i know your little tricks fucker and he still did it he went on three on the second year

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2227.205

Yeah, it feels good, but it hurts to have anything touch them. So these headphones are driving me up a little. And I got to keep them in for six weeks. I said, I don't even know where I'll be in six weeks. I'll probably be a father by then. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2276.275

I don't know why people keep saying that. That's what my girlfriend said on the phone last night. She said your ear looked bloody. Wait, can you hear me?

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2354.887

Put me back on the other ones. It sounds like I'm listening to a tin can and a string right now.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2386.835

What are you saying? Hey, does it sound weird to you at all?

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2402.872

I think. Like a little tin can. Well, then I'm used to it then.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

241.831

I have mysterious bruises on me all the time. Hey guys, gonna be a little late to the show today. Well, I actually fell down some stairs.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2452.179

No. I knew the coolest people. When I was a teenager, I knew the coolest guys. And they would have a shitty Acura, and they'd have water bottles and camel crushes all over the floor, and they would have earrings and gauges. And I'm 30. I'm getting older. I'm going to have a son soon. I get to be those cool Acura guys now.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2555.299

It's always cold. It's always cold. But yeah. Oh, kissing.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2582.605

Look at the fancy boy, just got off work. What's up, workaholic? Yeah, looks like you're not wearing green. Come over here, dude.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2633.133

He has a little dish by the front door. And right before he walks out, he grabs a little click pen.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

268.148

Yep. He's putting down payments on cars. He's living the high life. This is my son.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2695.529

Do you guys want some? I'd love a Z-Bar because nothing goes better with a Z-Bar than a Lucky Charm Street.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2705.347

I would pray that the flavors would complement each other, but there's no promises. I've never tried it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I would love to have today is a Firehouse Sub. I love those things. I love them.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2890.901

Yeah, cocaine and acid is really, really intense. And then you keep trying to do bumps and you're like, what even is this crap? I don't even know what this crap even means. Yeah, but you're still doing that. You're still doing it. And every time you do it, you're just spazzing a little bit more. Closer to the true frequency of the universe.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

2957.941

If anything happens, meet me at Party Chili. Yeah, yeah. I got so drunk on St. Patrick's Day when I was in college. I had a broken hand, which I just – I had to wear this cast for like a year and a half because I would just get wasted.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3014.555

God. So I was just walking around downtown Savannah with my hair just matted down. I was just wasted, and everyone was just staring at me wherever I went. I was like, can I get a green beer?

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3047.991

But it was one of the, it was a removable cast.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3051.254

you know what i mean like a brace basically but i had to keep it and it kept these two fingers straight because i broke both knuckles so it was just like this little this little moomoo monster guy damn it was awful and it stunk so bad i would take it off and wash it sometimes my hand still hurts to this day because i would get drunk like six nights a week Yeah. Fall down. And I would fall on it.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3078.298

Yeah, and then I would go, guys, I think I hurt my hand. They're like, yeah, no shit, dude. You were trying to fight us all last night.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3089.504

Yeah, if there's a thunderstorm coming, I go, guys, you might want to put some boards over the window.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3120.066

They thought she was, she looked like a monster now. Go ahead and pull her up, Grant. Helen Hunt looks like kind of a pistachio.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3131.15

Guys, I'm freaking falling up. Oh, no. It's sucking me out, dude. Guys, I'm falling up this time.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

319.496

You have this army of rotten children, these misfit toys.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3237.489

She was in something called like Hide and Seek or Come and Go or Come and See or something. Not Come and See. That's a restaurant.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3245.974

Yeah, it was about people who hide in houses. It's called frogging. I don't want to talk about it. But she was so distracting looking, I was like, I cannot even focus on the big twist.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3263.727

It's like an urban legend, basically. I don't know if people actually do this. Yikes.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

352.162

And I can hardly raise myself. But that's what I'm thinking. If I have a little son, it's going to turn my whole shit around. You're going to see me. I'm going to look fit. I'm going to look taller.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3522.365

It's about the guy who tried to break the land speed record on a motorcycle.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3544.55

And we're not going to say what happens, but when he recovers, the bird visits him every day in the hospital.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3556.514

He was, I mean, he was trying to break the land speed record. Sorry. So he was going really, really fast.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3642.371

I don't even want to talk about this. It's, like, placed beyond the pines, but for boys, like, whose dads are injured.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3758.618

Happy to be here with those I care about the most.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3855.192

Come see me this week in Los Angeles. When this comes out, I'll be at the Hollywood Improv on Friday.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3871.437

Bye. Bye-bye. Thanks for joining us for this week's episode of The William Montgomery Show. Send your questions, artwork, and manifestos to thewilliammcgomeryshow at gmail.com. Leave William a voicemail at 737-471-1098. And never miss an episode of The William Montgomery Show by subscribing to The William Montgomery Show channel on YouTube and anywhere podcasts are sold.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

3901.946

Check out William online at william.f.montgomery1 on Instagram. For more William Montgomery, check out Kill Tony on YouTube. And check him out live at the Comedy Mothership in Austin, Texas every Monday night. Find more of me, Casey Rocket, at patreon.com slash caseyrocket. Follow me on Instagram at caseyrocket.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

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This episode of The William Montgomery Show was recorded at Record ATX Studios right here in the heart of Austin, Texas. The William Montgomery Show is produced by William Montgomery. The anthem is sung by William Montgomery. The drums are sung by William Montgomery. The words are sung by William Montgomery. Thanks for joining us. See you next time. Who the fuck said that?

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

4.514

Recorded live in Austin, Texas, USA. It's the William Montgomery Show. Starring William Montgomery and the devious Casey Rockett. With the Tony Chin Orchestra. The William Montgomery Jr. Dancers. As always, William is joined by the lovely Erica. I'm Casey Rockett. And now here he is, the big red machine, the Memphis Strangler, William Montgomery. It's St. Pepe's Day.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

406.98

I got to get up at around 7 or 8 p.m., 9 p.m. Yeah, yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

452.468

Yeah, like what is Goofy in Exposé?

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

539.387

Sorry, we dropped a porcelain bathtub in your yard.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

574.473

I'm just trying to kind of get a Foley, like a Foley artist kind of a gauge for.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

640.065

He's talking about the guy who can eat helicopters and planes. Yeah. He can eat car parts.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

789.133

Oh, the one that exploded above her and it was supposed to like drop a bathtub on her or something. Is that what it was? If I'm thinking of the right thing, it was supposed to like blow up.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

79.968

Lucky charms. This is a get-out-of-jail-free card for any pinching or kissing that might be happening.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

847.8

Yeah, God. That is a good metaphor for the decline of civilization.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

874.457

She probably thinks everything's a lorry or a boot.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

900.097

Those are kind of David Bowie-esque.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

919.973

Yeah. If my son was if he wore something like that, I would tell you I'm not checking the credit card statements. You go ahead. You take a couple swipes and I'll let daddy figure it out. I'll be fine.

The William Montgomery Show

Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172

940.897

Yeah. Why I want to keep track of it. There's a lot of new cars in the apartment complex.

The William Montgomery Show

Val Kilmer Lives | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 176

123.845

I don't know why he's acting surprised. We've been multiple times. I don't know. That's so weird.

The William Montgomery Show

Val Kilmer Lives | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 176

802.991

Wait, is he a sneaker freak?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1009.967

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just got a bag full of them.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1032.117

They could have held, I mean, it sounds like if he's some old dude, it would be hard to get him's ass somewhere quick.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1081.321

Oh my gosh. I didn't see anything. So it was at your building or just right around there? It was like down the way.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1101.819

I know. It could have been a ghost. Well, if he died, I've heard stories of the last people a dead person talks to, they can haunt the person. And y'all were probably the last two people.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1122.765

So if you're watching this and you're like a ghost kind of person or whatever, y'all are hearing this. I mean, that really is crazy. I'm open to talking.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1131.81

He needs to complete his... Task. His journey. And then he can go to heaven or... Give me... Then he can go to heaven.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1180.657

It's a bean ghost. It's very rudimentary, but it's, you could just, I don't know, you could probably like glue them onto that sheet of paper and then it'd be a fun thing you could hang up. It's beginners. Oh my gosh. Cause you're talking about like old people dying or whatever. My, uh, my, my mother's currently doing, she does estate sales and the current one she's doing, the husband died.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1203.917

And then two days later, the wife is outside and it's snowing. Uh, it's snowing and she falls down and they find her ass four days later and she froze to death and the dog was still with her ass. Did the dog die too? I think the dog was still alive. That's nice. I know, it's crazy. So I told my mom, get me some knickknacks, get me something.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1228.217

Because that could be a very, that could be a ghosty kind of place.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

124.624

It's like the worst person to get fucking captured. Grant, clip that.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1263.832

And the wife died too. Yeah, she got in there with him. God, I bet they were warm there for a little bit, their body heat probably radiating off of one another, but then it just got too cold.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1291.857

I'm going to take my pants off and show my dick one last time, but it's really cold. So I'm going to put my pants on really quick after I'm going to put a sock over it. Cause again, my penis is very small right now. Yeah. It's like negative something outside. Yeah. No, when my freaking, when I was doing the snowmaking stuff and my hand got wet, I wanted to take my glove off at one point.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

131.698

I just woke up. Yeah. How are you doing this?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1312.54

My hand got so cold. Casey, I didn't have feeling in my middle finger for like three months after that. Whoa. It was like a nightmare. That was the one night I cried when I was doing that job.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1323.51

It was so cold. I cried. I'm at one of the fucking things. It was an especially cold night out there. And I'm fucking... They had these tower guns, they called them, which was this thing that would mix the water and the air together. And there's a big chunk of ice and I fucking knocked it off with something. And this giant chunk of ice falls on my ass and that hurt.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1345.306

And then I'm thinking, oh, this sucks. And then my fucking hand got wet up at one of the things that I'm messing with. And then I just fucking walk down and end up laying in a bathroom for like 30 minutes. Feel like I'm going to cry because he was.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1357.811

cold because i was desperate casey i seriously i was desperate i my hand was freezing cold i got hit by the chunk of ice i'm like tracking down the side of this dumb ass place where people ski feeling like i'm on everest but it's like some ski resort but it's nighttime desperate desperate for what warmth desperate feeling like i'm gonna die i have to keep on moving forward

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

136.204

Well, five and a half hours of sleep, Casey. Wait, hold on. Look at those bad boys. They are juiced up today. You're telling me you were doing pushups earlier? And you get that. How do you get them to move like that?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1383.3

I'm going to fucking die out here and they're going to find me. Somebody's going to find me like really soon in the morning because it's it's a ski resort. People are around. It's not like some desolate mountain. Yeah. Was there no one around you? No, not at the time. I had coworkers around, but we would all be in different areas. It was bad.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1401.218

And I made it and just laid on the ground and just tried to relax. And I think some people that were like eating dinner that night, like saw me and I'm just like, sorry, I have to lay down for a second. Like you were laying down outside? In a bathroom. I ended up making it down to a bathroom, just to an area of the ski resort.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1418.513

And I just went in the bathroom and put water on my hands for a little bit. It killed me. Even just cold water killed my hands. And I just laid down. And you said, I'm so sorry. I'm just so effing cold. Yes, I am so fucking cold. So step around me and go pee or whatever, because I'm not getting up right.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1502.038

Just look for everybody the next day and nobody's missing.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1507.519

Yeah, yeah, because that's going to be a weird story to have to tell the parents. You're going to have to come up with another story about where y'all were and fuck. And somebody's probably slipping up. Maybe. I don't know.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1533.066

You could die, dude. I know. People die of hypothermia for less. And by the way, Casey, it's so interesting you said the thing about keeping your circle tight because Grant, don't you kind of, you almost famously messed up with your circle, right? You let somebody a little too close too soon, didn't you? Yeah, you like really messed up there for a little, right?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1558.55

What happened just inviting too many people into the circle?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

157.096

Yeah, what is a lotus position? It's literally like a plank where you're on kind of like your elbow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1570.777

So they're still with us, but just out of the circle.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1574.299

What happened? Y'all just didn't get along ultimately or something? They violated the rules. And what are those again?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1603.287

Is it about Chef Boy Artie? Grant, I remember y'all's song. Do you?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1638.246

And that's what their boy did. He's showing up tardy to fucking stuff. Too many times. Wow. So you had to boot his bitch ass, huh? I mean, punctuality is a core rule. Would you let him on to your podcast if he called you up today or whatever? He's like, let me on as a guest. Would you let him on to the crawlers?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1658.814

What do you mean that one? How many more do you have going right now?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1683.735

Do I look like Giga Chad? Giga Chad. And also, Casey, I swear to God, you know what I'm reminded of right now is the Rizzler when he's doing his face. I swear. That's like a really good... How are you even? Hold on. I'm looking at that. How are you doing that? I look kind of good. Oh, you look real good. I look kind of like David Hasselhoff. Yeah. On Baywatch, like early 90s Baywatch.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

171.072

And then you get like your t-shirt off the lamp. I could use a glass of chocolate milk. Casey, if you are making chocolate milk, dude, how are you doing it? Are you getting, is it out of a carton already made? Are you getting like 2% or whatever kind of milk and like Ovaltine or something?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1711.199

I think it's stuck. You're kidding, Casey. Wait, your smile. Wait, your mouth. Yeah. I think your mouth stuck. Reach over there, William. Help him out. No, no, no. Wait, Casey, you're OK, dude. Hold on. It's not stuck like that. Oh. Oh, thank God. Holy shit. I look a little handsome. I got a haircut yesterday. It looks nice. It's looking very good.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1736.261

I know you told us you were going to get a haircut. Where'd you end up going? I went to this lovely little boutique. Oh.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1790.497

I think that's a good way to put it.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1799.762

That's what I would be thinking. I'd be thinking, you got to tell me. I'd be thinking, wait, what? Hold on, there's all different, because there's different kinds of entertainers.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1817.819

Yeah, because you would almost think, but exotic dancer, you might not. Oh, my gosh, it was so funny on Monday. I was with Red Band, and I guess it was in somebody else's. And Uncle Lazer's ass and like his girlfriend or somebody who I guess does porn or that's what Red Band was saying. And then it was so funny. Red Band said something about me. He's like, yeah, he used to do porn.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1839.625

And then it was so funny. Red Band and I lied to this girl for 20 minutes. Yeah. About my name is a Memphis Strangler because I used to strangle these people. And then she was asking me questions about like what percentages I'm getting from the different websites. And I'm just it was the funniest thing. And then it was fucking Nick. He threw me under the bus and he says he doesn't do that.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1868.885

Yes, it is. And it was real close. And I almost it was real close. And then it's like somebody always got to come in and fuck it up like that.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1886.658

Get out of the yard. Stay out of my face. Because you know what comes next and you're not going to like it. You're going to be on the ground in two. There's going to be two hits. Me hitting you and me hitting you again. And then you're hit. Yes. And then you're hitting the ground. Set your watch. It'll be two seconds. Press start and then press stop when you hit the ground.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1909.153

It'll be about two seconds, dumbass. So quit messing with us, the big dogs in here.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1940.52

Wait, so that was more than five hits, wasn't it? I think I announced that it would be six. Okay, six. Wasn't that more?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1964.091

Oh, for sure. And you're frazzled. So that's why you should know not to get up so quickly in a freaking RV because you are going to bump your head.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1976.977

But the guy's like, I got to get out of here.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

1984.521

And I don't see this stopping anytime soon. Yeah. So get me out of here. But then you bump the head and then it's like, oh, fuck. Hold on. Did he hit me or that? I bumped my head and then it's game over. Oh, did he hit me right in the top of the crest of my head?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2032.453

It gave you like inner ear problems or something.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2071.06

Oh, really? Yeah. That seems like an expensive way to be doing it at a restaurant.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

209.368

Yeah, just the classic Hershey's syrup. There was one with like a rabbit on it.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2124.358

What, the thing about hitting the ear? That seems like a good way to stun somebody because my mom gets the, what's it called where your inner ear's messed? Vertigo. And she can't even get out of the bed.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2136.726

Oh, wow. Yeah, I mean, that could really, if you get somebody with vertigo, dude, that could be, it probably immediately sets it back to vertigo season. Yeah. Vertigo season. It's vertigo season, bitch. It's vertigo season. I can't get out of the bed, dumbass. That's right.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

214.77

Nesquik. He was good. That also was the syrup and the powder.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2162.965

Yeah, look at that. Yeah, Kenny Chesney, what, he didn't look like a cowboy, did he? What do you think, Grant? Maybe a little. You want some more photos? Yeah, please help. Please help.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2177.047

Oh, well, I was thinking of Billy Ray Cyrus then. Yeah, no, they're everywhere we go. I remember that one. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

219.861

You had me at powder. Oh, yeah, you get a bunch of that powder, you put it on some freaking vanilla ice cream. Oh, wow, you've done stuff like that? Woo! I grew up, Casey, man. There are certain things that I think I believe you'd be proud of. If you could look back at my life with, like, a camera and see what old William was doing.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2218.564

You could do that to him. Just fucking take his shirt off. Just be like, okay, all right. No, not take your shirt. He needs it on, maybe.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2245.084

And I swear, Casey, I was thinking about this recently when we were at the Margaritaville dead in Orlando. And I swear, I think my time is correct. when they dropped the full thing of money behind us when we're just getting our volcano nachos or whatever, and they dropped the entire thing of money from the register behind us, I think that's when Jimmy Buffett died around that time.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2269.739

So it was just like a weird, like, is this maybe the end of the restaurant doing good or whatever? Like, it was right around the time he died. It's just so weird. Well, you're talking about the money. They dropped a bag of money?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2282.344

The register drawer. It's like they were switching out for their shifts and they happened to drop it right behind us.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2289.733

It was the loudest thing. And then I'm like, what do I fucking move my chair? What do I help y'all pick up all this change? It's like everywhere. Was it like a big, big noise? Is it like a big, big noise?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2301.949

It was horribly startling. And we had just gotten the volcano nachos. It's like trying to hang out, trying to chill down in Florida. And it's like a fucking... It sounds like a... I'm going to stop myself there. But it sounded like a loud...

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2320.05

Oh, you thought maybe it was a mass shalalo. Mass shalalo. I was thinking maybe mass shalalo because it had been a while since whatever. And by the way, there was a very weird mass shalalo in Virginia Beach, Virginia, Casey. When I was in Virginia Beach, I did a little research when I was there, as I do a little bit. Sure. And there was a crazy mass shalalo. Can you edit that, Grant?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2368.204

It was some guy who was fed up with everybody at his work, and he got... He went postal. Went postal. And it was a bunch of people. And I wanted to go see the memorial, but apparently it wasn't open. So it's like, seriously, it's like a Saturday. It's like, what the... You can only see it some days? Yeah, it's like Monday through Friday or something.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2389.008

It's like, this is a memorial for a horrible mashalali. And it's like, we need a... I should be able to see it, but I couldn't. What was it? What was the memorial? And why did it have? It was at the building and it was like a freaking.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

239.153

And one of those things would be when I discovered when I was, I think I was making a glass of chocolate milk and there was a bowl of ice cream. I was also drinking ice cream or eating the ice cream and I was doing the powder and then some of the powder got on the ice cream. It was like an invention? Yeah. And then I'm like, oh my gosh, wait, is this going to taste really good?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2409.983

It had like diffusers or whatever. The things you see at like a cracker barrel, like with the oil diffusers and it had a freaking like little waterfall. Shillelagh.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2444.167

It would be funny. There's something funny with talking about a MASH shillelagh and calling it that the whole time and never... Like, that is funny. That's funny to me, Kyle. It is funny. That's, like, ridiculous.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2461.878

You'd have to get a bunch of good details. It'd have to be very detailed, and you say mass shillelagh a bunch.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2479.423

Ooh, that one's got a, yeah, you can swing that around. You can twing that swing. I couldn't, my head was in Jamaican time. Jamaican time. Wait. Island time, bitch. Island time. Wait, is time a weird word to say? How do you say that one? Try that one. How do you say time?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2502.385

Yeah, that was maybe a little better.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2508.547

Island time. Wait. Oh my God, that's sounding Asian. Yeah, I'm off. Fuck. I'm getting off today. This is not good. You're getting off right now. Ugh.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

256.379

And then I ate it and then it's like the light bulb goes off. Huh? Yeah. Wait, this can get on ice cream? Taste hack unlocked?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2619.386

Were you like standing up or on the grass sitting down seeing the dude?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2677.423

Gosh, with some big-ass dude in front of your fucking ass.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2685.689

But you're here. Casey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, man. You survived that shit, dude.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2701.721

And then the guy. And then the guy, too. Yeah, well, I was going to say, but we're not talking about the beans. Yeah, when you said beans at first, I'm thinking, wasn't there a guy in Even Stevens with that name? Yes, his name was Beans, and he was so funny. He was, and he had a fun look to him. I wonder what his ass is up to.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

271.332

Yeah. I mean, I can't now because my stomach, dude. It's like I do do one day, don't do the next. I know. Raisin bran. I know. You got to. Look at that. That looks like one. Casey, that's what it looks like if you get the powder on vanilla ice cream.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2723.209

you can't even look him up now yeah i tried google and he's scrubbed so that's weird it's like that was at a government he has started working with the government or something because i know government ends up getting people in show business sometimes oh yeah well they took they took his identity it's like the departed situation they delete they deleted him from the system god they deleted beans from the fucking database dude

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2747.403

Look at that, man. I mean, and he was starting to do so good. He was like a data analyst or data scientist or something.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2764.889

Yes. So I hope you like it down in Guantanamo Bay or one of these other places, because that's where you're probably going to live for some amount of time. Yeah, you're going to end up in a black site like Abu Ghraib. And think about this right now. You're not going to make it in Abu Ghraib. OK, there's no way you got people blasting music at your ass the whole time.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2784.091

Music you don't like just 24 seven. People are tickling you. People are doing all kind. That's what I've heard. And that would really get me because I get so ticklish, Casey.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2798.918

Yeah, stop. And then I felt like a little bitch kind of because, as I said, I watched Reservoir Dogs for the first time in a long time. And I'm thinking, man, I'd squeal after they put a little feather on the bottom of my foot. This guy's getting his ear cut off. Like, dude, toughen up a little bit, William. What's going on, man? Yeah. But I don't like laughing too hard.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2820.09

Like, I love laughing, but if it's too hard, I start feeling insane.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2834.791

Mine happens to be that. It's like the weirdest thing. It's like embarrassing.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2851.363

Dude, on my feet? So you're talking about even under your neck or under your arms, you're not laughing? Okay. Toes? Whoa. Look at that sexy, sexy picture.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

291.414

Yeah, it looks kind of like dirt. It's not that appealing, but it's pretty good.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2944.639

I got to look it up, but it might just trigger me in weird ways or something, just watching people get tickled. Because, yeah, that dude's not even moving. Like, at least with me, I'm never really tied up. So you can squirm around. I know. Imagine that, getting tickled raw.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2960.774

No, I can't, because laughing is a good thing, but if you do it too much, it can be weird, and then it's like you don't want to laugh sometimes after that, at least for me.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

2988.581

Yeah, Grant, why are you trying to insinuate weird stuff right there? Please, dude. Come on. We've done a good, it's been a fun one today. It's the earliest one we've done in years. It looks wholesome. I'm sorry.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3006.658

Island time. Yeah. Well, I'm looking at the picture a little more. At least they have that looks like sweat bands or something around under his armpits. Because, again, that is a tickle. That's a ticklish spot. That's a ticklish hot spot. Yeah, that's a hot spot for tickle shit. Well, no zone.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3029.953

I don't know. Maybe that's off limits. See, it's like right there. Is he having a good time or is it not now?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3108.214

Is it a possible thing to be able to, is that a thing?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3119.64

Well, don't get stuck in the hypnotized state. Isn't that a problem? Because I thought hypnotists, like you end up doing a clock or something and then you get out of it. What if you get stuck in a hypnotized state?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3137.034

Okay, so you have something that's getting you back out.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3144.437

What is that? So what does the totem? You hold it?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3151.027

Oh, okay, okay, okay. If I ever did that, I could do it with my Winnie the Pooh Squishmallow.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3164.517

Grant, do you have a Squishmallow? Do your daughters like Squishmallows?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

317.884

So cool. That is brave of you guys to do that on the Vageland Strip, dude.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3189.224

Yeah, we thought you were, like, kidding about that because we brought it up like we like it, and then you act like you did, and then it's like, eh, is that genuine? I know. Where do we draw the line? It's like sometimes he's just blowing smoke up our butt or whatever. It's like I love it, but then sometimes it's like, eh. But you do. It sounds like you really do. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3246.251

Because I was about to say you're more than welcome to practice on my ass, but that sounds dangerous. So please maybe don't actually if it really does. Because I was about to say, oh my gosh, do me. I don't care. Practice on my ass, dude.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3265.044

So you do it on somebody you don't like.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3279.568

You get his ass? Yeah. Caleb, would you tell him to like walk off the house? Yeah. For something or how do you how would you get?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

331.515

Could you imagine walking down Fremont with Modest Yahoo on, just fucking walking to meet up with your buddies?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3325.982

He's been a very polite boy, as one might imagine. Good. You would hope so, because that'd be a scary. I can't imagine because I don't like heights, Casey. So if I wake up and I'm at a fucking plank on the side of a building and I see a fucking drone with a message for me, I'm like, wait, this guy means business. I got to listen to the message. Sure.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3381.736

And indirectly he's probably sending a lot of people to heaven.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3389.466

God needs bringing me all these good souls up here. We need more of the good souls up here. A lot are going downstairs.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3412.338

I don't know. What does he have to get, a head wound? Isn't that a thing? There was something like that, right? Yeah, there's like a head wound, and I'm thinking, God, well, is that Mr. Donald? Because he got that head wound. I'm thinking, is his ass going to be the Antichrist? Yikes.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3427.946

Maybe I'll use my mesmer for good. Yeah, you could do it in some with different political, whatever political side you're going for, whatever. Yeah, get it to advance.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

344.062

Yeah. What was that? Modest Yahoo doing that or like a buddy he had because it's just that one song.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3443.918

Yeah. So cool. So what would you have to do? You'd have to get her on the telephone. And then once you got her on the phone and she starts hearing you talk and then you kind of got her. So it has to be person of face to face.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3484.031

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, uh, Which is what? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I was thinking about the mesmer thing. I think it would be, I think, yeah, I was just curious how it even works. Why are you asking me that?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3539.119

Okay, so that's, and then that's when you can, yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3566.427

I don't want to sit in the back. Because you got my ass then, but yeah, then you got to get her ass.

The William Montgomery Show

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It's got to be. I can't get over the fact that he looks just like, what's the flash? I can't. The Ezra guy. Looking like Ezra Miller. God, that's crazy. And we need to talk about Kevin Reed. It shows what's his name? Dr. Steve Brule.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3656.279

Okay. And Tickle. And we gotta start with Anthony Whiplash-Margensen. Watch Tickle, dude. Ashley Belfield. Asalon. Avery's her suit. Bomb. Beef Benhashen. Daniel Hunter. Danja Foxx.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3672.645

Destiny A4, Dingleberry Harry, Duongles, Kiss on the Lips, Dovah King, Dr. P. Dugan, Eli Slugworth, Gators, Godmother, Goldie Mae Starr, Grant's Worst Nightmare, Hurley at WMS.lol, I Love Big Macs, I Poison His Big Mac, Tricks on Him, I Am the Big Mac, Jenny J, Jess, Joe Kive, John Shaw, Justin Threckle, Captain Chaos, Casey's Moms.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3698.612

Kyle Heath, Larry, Lawyer Joe, Little Miss Becky, Nigel Nigelson, Nissan Pappy, Papa Coon, Patrick Casey, Robert Bushell, Robert Bushell, Ruby Jewel Sparkle, Shana Shinakaya from the Big Island, SatRack, Sergio Shiva, Steve Fournier, The Gaming Crooner, The Wizard, Trina K, Vanderweed,

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3722.921

Vicious McFisty, White Magic, William and Casey the Cats, William Geeran, William Ramsey, Worm Drive Show on YouTube, Choose Your Own Adventure, Zombie Warlock.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

3735.208

And as always, Anthony Whiplash-Margenson. Anthony, we love you. We love you, Anthony.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

380.985

John C. Reilly in the backyard with the freaking arrow in his back. Ezra went off on that one. Yes. bow and arrow silent bye bye yeah nobody can people are just seeing bodies drop and then it's like what was that movie Erica where somebody got hit by the arrow and it's very startling the 10 Things I Hate About You. No, it was some weird new movie that we watched. You've probably seen it.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

39.546

He had it all figured out, my man. He had it all figured out and then freaking, and then he had to get involved in the Gaza war talk and he shouldn't have done that. We get it. He's a, he's a Jewish rabbi, but it's like modest Yahoo stick with the reggae man. Yeah. We don't pick sides.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

413.701

It's like The Mentor, but it's not The Mentor. It was with... The Cult? Yeah, the guy with the cult. The Opus.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

428.054

It's like Jeff Richards. Ditto kiddo. That's funny. Yeah. It's just ridiculous pop music. And he's real popular. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

456.989

What? And I never saw it, but I always saw it. What a dumb ass name. What are they eating? Fuck. I don't even like licorice. Where are you even fucking?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

466.757

Well, red licorice. Except Twizzlers. I know. I love Twizzlers. And you got a Twizzler. Casey, that'd be fun. Eating some Twizzlers with that's like almost a Twizzler red on the glasses.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

489.934

Brada. Brada. Grant, how are you doing today? This isn't especially, and for those that don't know, this is two hours earlier than normal episode today. We're up early. We're up super early today. Grant, how are you feeling?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

523.273

Well, you got a whole family to deal with. There's probably all kinds of stuff. You probably got to get the flapjacks going on a Saturday. I mean, you got to get the ball rolling quickly. Am I right?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

534.219

Got to make the breakfast for the babies.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

543.439

And just don't accidentally touch the pan when you wake up. Oh, frock. Yeah. Frock. Yeah, if it's loud as shit, you might accidentally throw it.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

556.044

God, there was some poor piece of shit. Casey, this would have been another time you had to look back at my life and you'd have been like, oh my gosh, look at what William's doing. We used to, there was this class, Casey, called IPS, Introduction to Physical Science. And we had to work with the Bunsen burners every now and again.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

572.731

And we would get test tubes on those days and we would put it over the flame for 10 minutes. And then there was a buddy named Oliver or a guy named Oliver in our class who, And we'd be like, hey, Oliver, come here. And we'd be like holding it with tongs. And we'd be like, hey, grab this for us. And he would grab it. No. And it would burn the shit out of his hand. And he would always break them.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

59.672

Yes. Stop picking sides. And there is this freaking white reggae dude who sings who I somehow he showed up on my Instagram and I click on it and it's about, um, Oh, he's just a mess. He's a big old mess. I can't even think of the guy's name right now. Neither here nor there. Is that what Modest Yahoo looks like? That's him, yeah. He is a stunner.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

595.279

I mean, he'd slam them on the ground immediately. It was kind of hilarious.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

599.6

Oh, yeah, we'd all laugh at his fucking ass, and he'd just be like, he'd have to pay for the fucking thing. His hand is burning.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

646.326

Yeah, I'm wet as shit. Try to catch me right now.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

678.639

Yeah, because that's a wild move, Casey, because we had one at our school, and I never even heard a story, honestly, about it ever going off. It probably could have happened, but I never heard about it.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

705.859

They wouldn't ask for that over there.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

734.269

Because people generally think then they're like, hold on, not Dr. Pepper, but Mr. Pibb. Because it's like a, doesn't it taste like Dr. Pepper?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

743.235

Which also tastes like the, what you drank in Vagelin. Oh, yeah. Root beer. Root beer.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

750.478

Unfortunately. Really? I wish I could, Casey. No, he's a hater. I swear. Well, I'm not a hater. I don't go out of my way to announce to everybody that I don't really like it.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

766.03

Yeah, trust me, I wish. I love the commercials during college football season. I'm sorry. Give me, let me try 16. I'll try 16 of the flavors, Casey, but 23 is too much.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

779.676

Yeah, no shit, they don't make that. So that's why you gotta drink fucking Pepsi and shit.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

788.66

Well, every now and again, I was feeling real crazy the other night and drank two of the little cans. Nice. It's equal to one can. Yeah, I know. It's equal to one regular size can. Like a can of Coke. And it was, man, that shit hurts. Especially for chugging it.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

822.963

Well, they have a bunch of calories in them. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

830.969

Yeah, so be careful. If you got one of them big asses and you're like, what is going on? Why is my ass so big? Start with what you're drinking. Drink water.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

84.468

He looks like The Flash, the guy who's in The Flash. We need to talk about Kevin. What does that guy's name?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

848.697

There's nothing wrong with that, dude. There's nothing wrong with that. Get done with your set, whatever. You're unwinding.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

855.72

Yeah, I used to boof. I used to boof.

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

867.088

Yeah, it's like, what happened? It's like, what happened?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

898.412

Yeah. What is there? Spice on there or something? Why does it taste a little different?

The William Montgomery Show

Ezra Miller Started a Cult!? | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 180

90.41

Ezra Miller, who, by the way, isn't he getting in trouble? Wasn't he, like, touching people in Hawaii or something?

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1055.144

Sorry. We're two riffs ahead of that now.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1068.52

No, that's absolutely correct.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1113.432

You have him tied to the air hockey table at Dave and Buster's. We're just wailing on the 16-year-old kid. Yeah, yeah. Oh, merda. Oh, merda.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1134.942

Sleep well. I'll send a freaking little box of roses for your little casket.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1218.831

Wait, so he escaped and like the next day he killed him.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1241.739

Yeah. That's what, uh, they released some files. Cause you know, like the names of like pretty much every assassin, except for the guy who killed like Malcolm X, but which is also somehow related, you know, JFK, RFK, even the guy who tried to kill Reagan. Nobody ever knows that. I don't even know that guy's name. Who killed MLK? Do you know his name? James Earl Ray. James Earl Ray.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1264.95

Well, you do, but sometimes I don't.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1273.233

Sirhan Sirhan. He's my favorite. He was the craziest little bastard.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1287.175

William Wallace is actually one of my distant ancestors. Really? No. Oh. But I think I do have kind of a similar spirit to him. I think you're correct. So in many ways, we're brothers. And also, I'm from Dublin.

The William Montgomery Show

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1348.528

This seems like a sigh up. They're trying to plant ideas. You're going to be the one who ends up giving me the glass load, right? And I'll sue you for every dime.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1376.599

No, the cameras are gone because I look like a genetic freak. In a good way.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1404.835

I don't know, but I saw that Oscar De La Hoya has a weird fake six-pack, too.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1458.651

That's freaky. Like Men in Black also, there's something like that.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

148.173

I woke up extra early to see a movie during South by Southwest, and I did not think I was getting up early to be spooked to my very core.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1538.078

Yeah. But he did pass. They're calling it the second magic bullet callback. But basically it hit the little one and it went right down the spine of the big one. One shot.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1598.263

And he never even once made like a grunciated cheese or like a decalcified rigatoni or anything.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1702.81

And I'll go, ever heard of Tom Hardy, love? He don't really talk American, do he? Did he?

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1714.594

And then during my closing joke, which is what if worms could scream, I drop the accent and I go, I was just kidding, y'all. Britain, I love you guys. Thank you to sold out shows in 10 days.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

179.105

Hey, throw another beer on the ground. I'm trying to slide.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1790.466

Better run. Better run, little freak.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1794.49

Hell yeah. I'm going to be doing, I think, some more British-type stuff when I'm over there.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1839.394

Easy, bloke. Easy now. Yeah. We liked you before all that now.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1847.926

Yes. Okay. I'll go, I bet if she was on the pitch and she was playing football, she wouldn't have been in the car during the affair.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

185.83

Say something, I'm giving up on you. Yeah, the movie was good. And these are from I was in Portland with my GF. I don't even know if I've announced it on the pod. No, you have not. I can't really talk about it too much yet, but I do have a GF and we went bowling and I bandersnatched these shoes.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1857.193

Out on the pitch. Yeah. But if she was in the boot of the lorry, she would have been safe.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1958.228

I was joking. I was joking, y'all. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

1962.469

Y'all, I was just kidding y'all. I was just kidding y'all.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2044.81

If I had to do like a British accent, like in a movie, it would probably be, Erica, you know that clip of... Where it's the girl band and she goes like, do a Jamaican accent. She goes, bleh bleh.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2058.158

You know what I'm talking about? Fifth Harmony, right? And then it's this girl band, pull it up, Grant. But she's trying to do a Jamaican accent and they go, do it. And she goes, okay, bleh bleh bleh. Like, she doesn't know how to do it. That's what it would be like if I was asked to do a British accent in a movie. I'd be like, Yeah, yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2149.554

We were letting loose just a little bit. Suddenly, we're criminals?

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2211.696

tumbles i bet she got into some wily coyote shit where she thought it was a tunnel and it was just a wall and she just drove right into it because it was a painting

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2279.227

But we would quickly understand the gravity of the situation.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2367.639

Well, it's not that mean. I like Japanese prank shows where a guy will just sit down and then suddenly he's in a pit of spikes. You know what I mean? It'll dump his bitch ass on a water slide.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2391.001

They know how to have a good time. They also do a lot of karaoke over there.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2481.647

You go, oh, okay, she's at Benihana's. Why do they hang out at Benihana's?

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2496.058

I've been watching a bunch of the... Prank stuff.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2578.526

We're like fun loving guys. And we have, I know at least at my house, I can't speak for yours. Although I think you fall into this category. We have tons of knickknacks for like bartering. Yes.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2640.655

So I started like doing like, yeah. Start doing my classic, sort of like my dating stuff.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2694.926

Is that what you call those? Like an envoy of just my closest crew, like you, Erica, Grant.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2702.532

Gigi, Logator, Fuzzy Kilgy, Ryar Cameraman, all my squad. And we're all hanging out all the time. And we have communal cookouts every night. That'd be so much fun.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2808.774

I thought that was a weird policy. I was like, damn, I should fake a domestic thing next time I'm on the road and I can't afford a hotel.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2834.623

I think she was staying in the van, but they ended up meeting up again that night because they loved each other so much they couldn't stay away.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2855.374

It's no secret. And yeah, well, the whole thing was tragic. And I don't understand why she had to stay in the van and he got a sexy little hotel.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2926.158

Because what is it even? I know, right?

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

2989.693

Brutus. Ever done that, Grant? Like a mistake?

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

300.114

Thank you, Grant. Thanks, G. Grant, Grant, say welcome.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3037.702

I have a story, and I shouldn't be talking about this. When I was a little kid, every Thanksgiving, people bring this up. Oh, remember when Casey did this silly thing? And I go, first of all, I was a kid. Second of all, here's the story. My dad gave me a money clip that was a really, really strong magnet. I got it stuck on the tip of my wiener.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3055.407

Yeah, I did. Huh? And I ran out. I ran out. It was like Christmas or something.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3062.369

Yes. I was like three years old and my dad gave me a magnet money clip. I guess it was really strong because even then like my thing was thick. Yeah. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3137.468

So, yeah, I got stuck on my wiener and I don't remember. But don't let a kid play with stuff like that. I guess I was naked. I don't even know. Must have been a bad time. But I ran out of the bathroom and I was like, guys, help me.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3157.626

You know what? This is absolutely true. So I forgot about the second part of the story. I had just learned how to talk, I guess. So money stuck on my wiener. Somebody in my family goes and pries it loose, Jaws of Lifestyle. Yeah. And I go, well, that was a reason to say, ouch.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3177.654

Not my first words, but my first riff, probably. Yeah, yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3260.551

That's... Okay. What if you went and saw the movie and you didn't realize that was the premise? Then you're like, oh, shit, I thought it was his leg or his arm. Just the head of his cock. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3291.294

We love South by. We love South by. We love South by. We are riffing at levels previously unknown to science. Yes.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

332.856

Oh, you're going more Busters now, Grant? Busters Q2. Is business that bad?

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3342.284

literally go in the walmart and like say hey look at this well that was a reason to say ouch yeah and they say it really loud so like a lot of people hear it i could do it at mothership even like yeah i perform in fat man and then as i finish my set i walk behind the curtain and then i run out and my pp is stuck in a little money yeah yeah holy shit and then you throw it in the crowd kidding

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3384.066

Yeah, it's got to be your actual shaft.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3386.748

And then, oh my gosh, here's a second tier that's a little bit scarier. The little clown, little freaky puppet comes out on his trike and he goes, would you like to play a game? Your wiener's stuck in a freaking money clip.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3402.34

That's my saw trap. He goes, hey, you're free to come and go as you please, but that thing's stuck on there really good.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3425.511

And he goes, all right, like, I have the key, but if I don't get it off soon, you're never going to have a wife and kid. Yeah. Damn.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3436.962

And he goes, I took a little freaking video. I'm going to show everybody your penis.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3463.222

You're the only one strong enough.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3469.024

I go, I swear to God, there's a little clown down there. Yeah, yeah. Be careful. Be careful.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

347.836

I knew at some point, and William, you can back me up on this. We said the moment we walked in here, they're going to end up going busters.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3686.56

Yeah, it's like a lot of pancakes and sausage links.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3709.436

It's really unusual for buffet-style eggs, but they're all sunny-side up.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3731.244

We will give you $30 right now. No questions asked.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3805.339

Well, I got a present for Gator. I'd be remiss not to show you while we're still on the air.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3814.207

It's a little Portland. I think it's a dog or something else funny, but it could also be a moose.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3822.535

I think it's a dog, but I don't want to talk out of school. Well, thank you, Casey.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3827.059

Feel it. It's a really, really, like, it's a nice material, probably too nice for a dog, but Gator's worth it.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

388.903

And then how many of those people who are playing skeeball end up recording a two-hour podcast?

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3901.786

Please. Please don't even. Please, Grant, stop. Grant, stop. I'm not sure if I'm finding the right person.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

3970.034

I've been busy. I've been out there riffing. Thank you to everyone who came to saw me in Chicago and Portland and also several other places.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

4.514

Recorded live in Austin, Texas, USA. It's the William Montgomery Show. Starring William Montgomery and the devious Casey Rockett. With the Tony Chin Orchestra. The William Montgomery Jr. Dancers. As always, William is joined by the lovely Erica. I'm Casey Rockett. And now here he is, the big red machine, the Memphis Strangler, William Montgomery. Three, two, one.

The William Montgomery Show

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4069.225

We love you. KCRocketComedy.com. I'm on tour. I'm at the Hollywood Improv in two weeks.

The William Montgomery Show

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Thanks for joining us for this week's episode of The William Montgomery Show. Send your questions, artwork, and manifestos to thewilliammcgomeryshow at gmail.com. Leave William a voicemail at 737-471-1098. And never miss an episode of The William Montgomery Show by subscribing to The William Montgomery Show channel on YouTube and anywhere podcasts are sold.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

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Check out William online at william.f.montgomery1 on Instagram. For more William Montgomery, check out Kill Tony on YouTube. And check him out live at the Comedy Mothership in Austin, Texas every Monday night. Find more of me, Casey Rocket, at patreon.com slash caseyrocket. Follow me on Instagram at caseyrocket.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

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This episode of The William Montgomery Show was recorded at Record ATX Studios right here in the heart of Austin, Texas. The William Montgomery Show is produced by William Montgomery. The anthem is sung by William Montgomery. The drums are sung by William Montgomery. The words are sung by William Montgomery. Thanks for joining us. See you next time.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

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I'm trying to have fun tonight.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

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That's sort of the problem with the business is there's not enough. There's a lot of jurisdictional stuff between that office and Grant's office, and there's not a lot of info being kind of worked out together.

The William Montgomery Show

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Yeah. That's really nice of you to do for your friend, but think about all the people that he's also taken their lives.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

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Look, you're a close friend of mine. I'm not just trying to inflate that airhead of yours in a good way.

The William Montgomery Show

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But look at that body type. You're telling me you couldn't Native American leg wrestle that guy? Come on. Oh, I could.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

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Wait, show it again. I didn't see that part. I was looking at the script. I hadn't noticed that either. Oh.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

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What did you Google to find that, bodybuilder big sack?

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

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Yeah. I keep missing all these cool new employees. Oh, I know. But I've been showing up a little bit, Tardis.

The William Montgomery Show

Magnetic Money Clip | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 171

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You must be talking about West Quad, because that's where all the freaky little losers hang.

The William Montgomery Show

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How was Australia? What were your thoughts? Do they have their... They are across a big old sea. They're an island. Oh, wait. I haven't even seen you since... No, it's been weeks. Before Australia? It's been weeks. Oh, it's been like a month. Wait, so how was Australia, though? Do they have the same sense of humor? Like, how, like... They're so funny.

The William Montgomery Show

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And they all, like, say the C word all the time. It's awesome. C-U? They say coot. Oh, really? They say it. I don't say stuff like that, Grant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in Australia, it's not a big deal. Everybody says it, particularly the women, the birds. Everybody calls them birds down there. Really? No, not really. But they say all kinds of funny stuff. I lost so much money playing slots.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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It was awesome. What, do they have casinos down there? They have casinos all over the place. Every bar has slot machines, like proper like buffalo slot machines. Not like little like ding-ding gas station ones, like big buffalo. Like they all have like slot rooms. Wait, what do you put a card or is it like literal coins coming out? Just cash.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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That's like as if a slot machine in a casino, but it's in like every bar. Oh, that's cool. I was in Bris Vegas. Apparently, the casinos are real big in Brisbane. Brisbane. And Sydney. I went in Sydney. I went in Melbourne. It was awesome.

The William Montgomery Show

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casino with you you're pretty lucky I'm typically lucky I don't even understand it kind of I typically am because I'm pure of heart is that what it is and I put good energy out there and God sees that and he goes give him $25 yeah make this one match up y'all somebody down there make this one match up make it happen that's all I'm asking make it happen where was it it was a number it was more than once it was more than twice I think we were all together gambling it was in Vegas and Oklahoma I kept winning a bunch of money

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Because people are messing with his ass, and he's working the deli counter. It's like he doesn't need to be there. And what do you think at the end? I think we've talked about this before, but was he going to heaven? I think he goes to heaven. And I think he was pure of heart. And I think God would be lucky to have an angel that looks like that. I totally agree. I think he got up there and St.

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Yeah, no, Oklahoma. Tulsa? Where would it have been? Not in Tulsa.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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But I will say I've never had a worse streak of luck than I'm on right now. I am down $1,000. I am down. I'm down. So I was in Philly. We went every night in Philly, except for one night. Doing the slots? Doing the slots. Then I was immediately, I was in California, took a break. Took a break in California. That's good. That's good.

The William Montgomery Show

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Then I was back in Vegas for two days, and I kept losing money in Vegas, about $300 a day. I'm down about $1,000 total. Could be worse. Yeah, it could be a ton worse, but be careful. But, I mean, the only way to get the bad luck away, I guess, would be to keep doing it or, I don't know. Or to stop. Or to stop. But that's not fun. Typically, I don't know.

The William Montgomery Show

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I mean, most states, I feel like most states don't have casinos or most states do. But it was never a thing. But once I went to Australia, I got the bug.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Oh, really? How was the McDonald's over there? Did you eat it at all? It was good. Was it better than American version or the same or it was different? I don't know. Maybe I was just really hungry, but it was pretty good. Oh, I love it. But their bacon isn't like our bacon. It's like ham. Oh, it is? Yeah. Weird. Anyways, I feel like I'm just talking like I came back from study abroad.

The William Montgomery Show

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Canadian, what, like Canadian bacon? Yeah, it's like Canadian bacon. Interesting. But it was so fun. I met all kinds of really fun friends in Australia and every other place I've been. Yeah, the crowds were good, though. Like, it was just like you would have been somewhere in America. Like, from your perspective, what did it seem like? Yeah, I had to change a lot of my jokes because, like...

The William Montgomery Show

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Let's say I would say Burlington Coat Factory. Like most things I say are a reference to some pop culture or some media thing or some store. And then so I did Sydney and then I was noticing like every other joke just was not hitting. I was like, oh, they have no idea what I'm talking about. Because I just think a lot of my stuff is a lot more pop culture heavy than like other comedians. For sure.

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For sure. All these short, short jokes. Were you able to adjust it all and use some of their references? Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

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Instead of Burlington Coat Factory, it was Harvey Norman, which is like Best Buy. Yeah. I just had to change a bunch of shit. And I'm sure they loved it, you using the references. Oh, they lost their minds. I'm sure. And then I kept going, I know everything you do. Yeah, yeah. And then they would go, all right. Yeah, and then they would kind of clam up a little bit.

The William Montgomery Show

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Peter said, OK, come to the front of the line. We've been waiting on you. And then they let him in.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Oh my gosh, is this a Harvey Norman or did you just make the, did you make this up, Grant, or is that a real one? I think it's a real Harvey Norman. Damn. Wait, and you saw good, cool animals that looked like? You sent me some videos and pictures of some kangaroos and a freaking Tasmanian devil? Yeah, William has the Tasmanian devil tattoo, so I sent him a picture of the little stinker.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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They're like little rats. I know I was embarrassed. I did not. I have the tattoo on my body. He goes, what is that? I go, it's a Tasmanian devil freak. I know that was embarrassing. It's like I fucking got the tattoo and I don't even know it. It's like getting an Aerosmith tattoo and somebody being like, oh, this is a great band. What is this band? And you're like, oh, I don't know.

The William Montgomery Show

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And it's Aerosmith. God. What?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yes, it's Mickey Rourke. He's problematic, but he's great in The Wrestler. Oh, my gosh. He was mean to JoJo Siwa?

The William Montgomery Show

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And then pull up a bin chicken. Google bin chicken. Was that something that was just around? Yeah. They were around. They're these freaky pelican-looking birds. They puke all over themselves.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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He sleeps in my bed now. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. But Australia, I never wanted to leave. They're these freaky-looking birds that walk all around, and then they eat stuff out of garbage cans. So that's kind of fun. I feel like I'd watch that some. A bird with a big beak getting. They're big. They're like the size of chickens and they're just native to the land.

The William Montgomery Show

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So they're just everywhere you go, there's a nasty bin chicken. And people can't, it's like India where people can't kill the cows walking around everywhere. No, you can't. Because their gods are in there. Is that how it is with Australian religion? They basically worship them. Yeah. But they have like cockatoos flying all around screaming. It's awesome. The wildlife's amazing.

The William Montgomery Show

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And there wasn't big spiders like you would think. Well, that's good you didn't see any. Thank God. That's good you did it. Did you go in the ocean? Did you at least put your toe in the ocean? I guess Sydney is by the ocean, but Melbourne isn't.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I don't like swimming that much because as you know, my ears get clogged. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't. And that's the worst, because then you've got to get rubbing alcohol or something to try to get it out of your ear, or you're just shaking your head a bunch. Oh, it's so annoying. Yeah, I hate that shit. I hate that bullshit. But it was the time of my life. It was so fun.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yeah, I think I've been to 10 cities since I've seen you guys, so... That's pretty fun. Cool. And you met Nathan Fielder. I met Nathan Fielder. And can I say something really quickly? And it's not about Nathan Fielder. My house has mosquitoes in it. Inside of it. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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And they're biting my legs. I'm sitting on my couch. I'm itching my legs. I'm going, I'm getting bit up. I'm indoors. How did they breach? How did they get inside of your place? I don't know. I think it was, and I was concerned about this. It was raining earlier. Yep. And my apartment's in a little hallway, little one-story apartment.

The William Montgomery Show

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And my apartment was a lot warmer than the outside. I think mosquitoes just made it. I think they made a run for it.

The William Montgomery Show

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You got to be careful with that. We got a little porch light and you put that thing in.

The William Montgomery Show

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It's like a beacon. It's a beacon for all the bugs to just come on in.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Well, that's good. That was the only thing because you hadn't been into your place in a while. It was good. The only thing was some mosquitoes. Yeah. At least like a big spider didn't take up in my bed or something. Could you even imagine like wearing your fucking clothes, like moved a lot of your shit around? I'd kill myself. God. Yeah. Just okay. I can't deal anymore. I couldn't live.

The William Montgomery Show

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Because you'd be wearing a bunch of your shoes at the same time because they got eight legs. You'd be wearing four pairs of your shoes. And me clomping around. Yeah, yeah. Dude, go to bed. Yeah, there's a bunch of notes on your door from the neighbors. Like, what is going on up there? How many people are walking around in there?

The William Montgomery Show

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Which granted, he's a great looking guy.

The William Montgomery Show

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Look at him. I feel like he's doing his classic. I feel like that's a classic Nathan Fielder look. Grant, how did you even find this picture, dude?

The William Montgomery Show

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I immediately have it ready. This is from my... It didn't go on my main profile. So this was a story that you screenshotted.

The William Montgomery Show

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Yeah. I saw it there too. Cause I haven't been on Instagram as much. And I, the first place I saw it was the freaking, yeah, the Nathan Fielder subreddit. Cause I'm a part of, I'm just subscribed to that subreddit.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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People were being nice. People were being nice. I doubt it. People were nice. Yeah, that's why I just don't. I avoid anything I can. What was the context? Like Casey and Nathan Rockett meet up?

The William Montgomery Show

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Oh, really? So she's just kind of, well, she's just figuring it out.

The William Montgomery Show

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Yeah, I mean, you got a bunch of people. Again, it was on the Nathan Fielder subreddit.

The William Montgomery Show

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It was nice and it was a pleasure to meet him because he's obviously is one of our heroes. So that was really cool. Oh, yeah, he's wonderful. And Grant, do not do the spoiler alert.

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She's figuring out her sexuality. She's a child almost. How old? No, she's older now.

The William Montgomery Show

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Yeah, do not even try to do a spoiler on it. I won't. I won't say anything. All right, we were both at a minute clinic. And for those that don't know, that's like, what, if you're feeling kind of sick or something?

The William Montgomery Show

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Yeah, she's 21 now. She is. Hell of a dancer.

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And he reached out and he touched my hand like the creation of Adam. I swear to God. Damn. Fever was gone.

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Yeah. He said, I got two tickets to a show tonight. You want to go?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I was so, so busy, but I moved some things around. And you went to the show with them. And I went to the show with Nathan. Oh, it was a reenactment of Married with Children. So it was really cool, but it's all girls.

The William Montgomery Show

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Acting with a live orchestra.

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Yeah, that's where you knew there was something.

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So it was kind of like a reboot of Married with Children, but it's like Ocean's 8, where it's all girls this time. And you go, okay, well, I liked the original Al Bundy. He was kind of funny. Yeah, don't make Al Bundy into a girl. But it was Melissa McCarthy, so she was just as funny. Oh, that's pretty funny.

The William Montgomery Show

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Yeah, because normally I'd say, do not, let's at least have Al Bundy be a boy still. But Melissa McCarthy? She was great. You could not tell the difference.

The William Montgomery Show

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Allison Bundy. And they did that joke a lot. That's kind of a funny joke, Alison, but Alison. And Nathan, I have never seen Nathan laugh so hard. Really? That's cool because he looks like a guy that doesn't laugh. It looks like he doesn't laugh at stuff. Sure. You would think, I know what you're thinking. You see Nathan Fielder, you think, oh my God, this guy hasn't laughed once in his life.

The William Montgomery Show

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Gosh, I wish I could have drank around fucking Epcot for my 21st birthday. I just remember drinking a six pack in Knoxville, Tennessee at my apartment by myself playing some like PS3 game. Like sucked. I fell asleep at a strip club and they had to use a hotel dolly to carry me out. On your 21st? Yeah, in Savannah, Georgia. I was dancing. I get the most beautiful dance.

The William Montgomery Show

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You couldn't be more wrong. He was cracking his little nut. Not in a sex way. He was cracking his laugh.

The William Montgomery Show

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It was not like that. He wasn't busting. Yeah. Don't start spreading that rumor, Reddit.

The William Montgomery Show

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I shouldn't say. So you got to stay tuned because, I mean, it could. Yeah, I mean, Casey was kind of telling me some things. Yeah, it's kind of crazy. Oh, my gosh. Allegedly. Some of the things they're planning. Well, I'll say this, and I really shouldn't. Huh? What? Give us some detail. Give us some tea, please. Okay, so you know the rehearsal? Yes. Part of it. Yep.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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And for those who don't know, that is Nathan Fielder's show. That is Nathan Fielder's show. Okay, imagine it, but bigger.

The William Montgomery Show

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Whoa. Bigger than what it is now. And imagine the scale bigger. I'm talking the whole state of Michigan. So an entire state without even doing just little- They gave him your house or whatever. They gave him Detroit for a month. God damn.

The William Montgomery Show

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To just play around with. Oh my God. Well, he better not change the arena name, the Little Caesars Arena. He better not mess with that. I told him that. I sat him down. I said, Nathan, you're getting too- Thank you.

The William Montgomery Show

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Telling his ass, giving him advice like, yeah, have some fun. Well, he needs a friend. Yes. And I was happy to be that time that guy for him the entire time I was in L.A. We're in several places. Well, that's what happens for those watching.

The William Montgomery Show

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If somebody's sick or whatever, help them out. And you might spark up a fast friendship. For sure. And I will say this. I definitely did not just see him on the street and take a picture with him. I'll say that.

The William Montgomery Show

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Yeah, was he wearing Old Spice? He smelled awesome. I mean, you wouldn't think it. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, yeah. But I got close to this guy, and I said, oh, something smells good, like food, and I realized it was him.

The William Montgomery Show

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I shouldn't rank ever. No, no, no, no. Okay. Not right now.

The William Montgomery Show

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Yeah, I mean, he could get mad. Other people could get mad. Grant could get mad.

The William Montgomery Show

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You'll get mad. Yeah, you'll get mad.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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We don't need to be doing friendship rankings after a time off. We do not need to be doing rankings after that. I can't believe I haven't seen y'all since before Australia.

The William Montgomery Show

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So that would have been about a month ago. It's been a month. I've been I've been really struggling without your ass. I've had a couple of people. It's like I don't even know what to say to them. It's like a disaster.

The William Montgomery Show

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It's a whole bunch of not talking. It's like, where's Kate? I'm thinking the whole time. Where's fucking Casey's fucking ass? Like, it's literally like silence. It's like, I'll ask a question. Then it's like the answer. And then it's like Grant doesn't say shit.

The William Montgomery Show

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I still remember the lady and they wheeled me out on a hotel card. I was just dead to America. What do they do? Just put it so your feet are like at the bottom and then they like get your, and then they do it up? They just probably, well, strip clubs are full of notoriously huge bouncers. So they'd probably just pick me up like a baby, laid me down, kiss the crest of my nose, say, get some sleep.

The William Montgomery Show

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so it's like fucking silence for three minutes at a time and it's like the most awkward thing grant's still changing the backgrounds or whatever but it's like dude we're not even saying anything yeah we're not talking about that anymore yeah it's like dude we're not even that is that is so annoying i'm so sorry you had to go through that i was traveling i know you were doing your thing

The William Montgomery Show

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I'm riffing. I'm on route. You were doing your thing. I missed you guys like crazy, and I can't believe that Grant couldn't at least carry us through.

The William Montgomery Show

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Yeah, he's busy doing his own fucking podcast, like, probably after ours. I don't even know when it is. When did the, what was the seed that grew into Crawlers, Grant?

The William Montgomery Show

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Oh, wow. He'd been waiting, it seems like, because he knew I would put my foot down. Like, literally did. She's not even kidding. Yeah, I know.

The William Montgomery Show

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You should probably get out of town. I think you should leave. That's another thing me and Nathan were watching. We were laughing our ass off. It's always so fun when you're around somebody that doesn't laugh a lot to see them laugh at something. That's always so much fun. To see them open up and go, where has this been? I know, I know, I know. I love it. Because this guy's great.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Well, it's a good thing. Well, you shouldn't have watched, and I don't think you did. What is that movie we watched, Erica? The Sailor Man?

The William Montgomery Show

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Popeye? Have you heard of this, Casey? Popeye the Sailor Man? It's called The Sailor Man, and it is Popeye, and Casey, it was something else, because I guess Popeye is now, I swear. It's an IP. It's an IP. I guess Popeye is now in the public domain. It must be a public domain thing, because they're making these- Slayer Man. Yeah, Popeye the Slayer Man, or what was it called?

The William Montgomery Show

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What was the movie called? The Slayer Man.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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What the hell is this, Grant? This is stressing me out. Is that real with the MMA fighter? Is it Conor McGregor? Conor McGregor as Popeye? Is that real?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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In any way, he has big forearms, not biceps.

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It's not even... What the hell? And it's not this either. Is that Will Smith? Yeah, it looks like the legend of Bagger Vance or something with... I don't even know.

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So can we watch a trailer for this, G? Look at this.

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Yeah, yeah, like that. Well, he was not talking like that. Yeah. Kind of like that. But this, he's killing people, and he likes to snap people. He grabs their hands, and then he snaps so the bone pops out of the arm. That's a move that happens quite frequently in this movie. Oh, he does it a lot. Yes, and then he also crunches people's heads with his hands. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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And does spinach give him those powers? Well, it's tainted spinach and it's made him go crazy. And that's why he's living in the canning factory. And then it's, yeah, these people are trying to sell it. Some real estate people come in there trying to sell it. And it's like his house. So he doesn't want it. And then these people are doing that documentary as well at the same time.

The William Montgomery Show

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And then just did you out of the front door. Goodbye. Bye, guys. See you later. Sorry, I got really sleepy in here. Sorry. I wasn't even drinking. I was just really sleepy. Yeah, sorry. It's my birthday. I'm sorry. Sorry, I've been having so much fun today. I was really tired. I didn't even get enough dinner. I wanted a sandwich. Well, again, to be so careful, though, with how shaved you get it.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I was just giving kind of a general story.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Oh, here goes nothing. Oh, this looks like a pretty good production. What the hell is all this stuff for? It was good.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Oh, my God. Oh, he's huge. Yes. He's scary. Whoa. Yeah, he rips people's head. Fucking scalps people. He blows their heads up.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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But by the Slayer man, dude. Get that off the screen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I feel like I just went through a living nightmare before my eyes. You've got to watch it. I think you can rent it on something for like $3 on Amazon. That's pretty cool. Amazon. I wrote a joke. It goes something like this.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Is the man in my dreams has bugs all over him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I never say it.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Grant, what are you thinking, man? I mean, it's not even worth it.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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You were going to say, do you have any new material? Yes.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yeah, I was like, I wonder if Casey is due material.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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So that was actually just perfect. Well, thank God. I'm glad we could get there sooner or later. And it was a good one.

The William Montgomery Show

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Yeah, I mean, a lot of the time, you always grow up hearing, you're like, oh, yeah, Man of My Dreams or whatever, and then it's like, well, what if it's like a nightmare dream? Yeah, what if the dreams is nightmare? It's like it's kind of a stupid-ass premise, like just idea that it's a good thing, Man of Your Dreams or whatever. Most of my dreams? You know what is weird?

The William Montgomery Show

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I had a dream I was hanging out with Debbie Wilson, which is like I wasn't even that big of a mad TV head, but I woke up. So totally random. Totally random.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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So I was with Debbie Wilson, and she had her own like- There's something in the ceiling. Yeah.

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I wonder if that's the night she was in your dream. Could have been. She was reaching out. Debbie Wilson's trying to help you get the... Help me to help her, I guess. Yeah. So it was chill? I mean, y'all were just hanging out? We were hanging out. She had her own talk show, and I wrote this song. And this is the song. So I woke up, and I immediately wrote it down.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I swear I thought the shavier, the better, the more shave, the better. That's not the case. Again, as Erica said, it's like a fucking icy or something. And you don't want that for Turkey. Yeah, you do not want that.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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And it's about Debbie Wilson, and it's really fast, so I wouldn't worry about it. Wait, you wrote it in the dream?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I woke up, and in the dream, I was chanting this song. I'm not kidding.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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yeah I was chanting the song over and over and over again and then when I woke up I kept singing the song and then I was like wait a second that's not a song that's something I wrote in my dream so it goes like this we really miss your guidance Debbie Wilson we love you and we miss you and we're always having fun oh my gosh Casey it's insane so I was I don't know why I tried to cover the microphone I don't even want to be heard right now

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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it was I was chanting this over and over and over again and then I was telling the crowd to sing it too I was like a warm up guy like Brody Stevens and I was like come on sing it you know Debbie's back there she's gonna wanna hear it she's not even like the you know I don't know like famous enough I guess to have a talk I think they call her Debra oh maybe but in the dream we call her Debbie we really miss your guidance Debbie Wilson we miss you and we love you and we're always having fun

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Gosh. I don't know what was going on in my head, man. I think that was like a premonition that something bad's going to happen.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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A week ago today. Seriously, a week ago?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yeah, who knows? What would you even say, Casey, if she reached out to your fucking ass and said, I need you on my production team? What are you saying to Miss Wilson? Thank you. Yeah, just thank you. Two words. Thank you. Two more words. I'm in. Would you tell her you dreamt about this or no? It might be kind of awkward, but I think after we work together for like a year, then you can tell her.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Where she knows I got the stuff.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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She knows I got the stuff and I'm not just some kook, some balloon. Because if you did it at the first week or even first year, it could be weird. It'd be awkward, man. Yeah, she's going to be thinking, what, this guy's dreaming of me? And I would go, not like that. We were just friends and I was working on your team.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Because that's why you got to be careful when you say you dreamed about somebody because they're probably thinking, what, you had sex with me in your dream? It's like, what do you mean you were dreaming of me? I know. So you got to be real careful telling people sometimes. Sometimes. Unless if it's a good friend, then you can tell them. But if not, be careful. I had a... Never mind.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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They're doing like it's some sort of.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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What, another dream thing? I'm not talking about that. Yeah, yeah. No, never mind.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I just, I got to choose my words carefully. This Nathan thing is super fresh.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Well, there are a lot of clauses.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Late April Fool's break. Because this isn't shaved. It is chopped, it seems like, into the smallest of tiny little pieces.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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You didn't mess anything up today talking about it, did you? No, I don't think so.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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He said tell the world I left.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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But not everything, but tell them a little. Yeah, some. To whet their appetites a little. Grant, can you Google what Mrs. Claus' name is? Sure. She should have a name, right?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Say her name. Mrs. Claus? Yeah, her first name. So weird, I've never even thought about it. I know, right? And we've been talking about Santa since basically this podcast started.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I don't know. I just thought about it.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Which is so sad, right? Like, she has a name. She was someone before Santa. Yeah, yep. Yeah, what's her maiden name?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yeah, hold on. What is Santa's full name? Yeah. Just in the North Pole, just blood everywhere. Just fucking like reservoir dogs. So sick.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Gertrude Claus? I guess so, yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Like Meredith Claus. Meredith Claus, Sarah Claus. That's a good one. Sarah Claus sounds kind of right.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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And what, so it's grossing you out how thin it is? Yes, it is the, I think it's the consistency, but that's why, again, later today or tomorrow, I got to do it with just the mayonnaise and mustard because I was also thinking to myself, the avocado one here, is it the consistency of the avocado mixing with the consistency of this new turkey thing for me? And I don't know.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yeah, it's like somebody's fucking daughter. It's not Santa's wife. And next time you think about Mrs. Claus and you start sexualizing her, that's someone's daughter. Sarah. Sarah. Sarah Claus. Just fucking being all nasty. Being all nasty out in the car. Just super sick. So sick. You guys are freaks. Well, we've been, yeah, we've been trying to be freaks and...

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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You haven't been around and then it just, it's hard to let your freak flag fly. And then again, Grant's not helping me out at all. I was trying. Grant, I'm kidding.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Grant loved that. I got a good reaction out of Grant.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Nope. Next. You guys don't like that. I liked it. I'm not. Please. Wrong. We got another one? Is this? That's not my Miss Claus.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yeah, for sure. Let's see. And I can tell, yeah, maybe like sexier and older. Is that a little bit more? That's nasty. That's like somebody's grandmother or something and not in a good way. Seriously. Yeah. She has too much jewelry on too. Like my Mrs. Claus does not flaunt her wealth like that. And of course she's rich. She's funded by every government in the freaking world.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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My Mrs. Claus, if she's like in Hawaii or something, will wear though a white puka shell necklace. Like if she's on vacation? Yeah, if she's on vacation, she will put... Because I agree. I don't like Miss Claus wearing a... Quick and. Oh, right off the bat. Like, that's weird. Yeah, that is kind of creepy. Look, man, I don't want to talk out of school, but I'm just going to say... Yeah, please.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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How about those candy canes? Yeah, look at those. long candy canes on her bottom part. Look at her bottom part.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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wouldn't mind having her in a gift wrap that doesn't cause her any harm yeah and not one of the gift wraps i saw this video one time of some freaking it was like an asian girl and the dude it was like some weird sex thing i think i don't even know and they do this thing where they put them in plastic and then suck the air out oh my god and then he forgot to like open it back up Oh, no.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yeah, and so her ass is just dying in this thing. So be careful. That's horrible. If you're into weird stuff like that, make sure there's a hole. Punch a hole. Yeah, punch a hole. I don't like it. I don't like it either. I'm sorry for bringing it up. That scares me. Yeah, yeah. That's okay. It's like the guy who the lady trapped him in the suitcase. I know. Talk about a nightmare.

The William Montgomery Show

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So I got to try it with mayonnaise and mustard tomorrow.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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She's nuts. Yeah, she represents herself.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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So this Mrs. Claus, I, William, I don't want to speak for you, but it's two thumbs up for me. That looks exactly like my Mrs. Claus. She looks beautiful and she looks like she got no teeth.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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And that means she's been testing the candy out. She knows what candy's good. I like that Mrs. Claus too. That's a wonderful Mrs. Claus.

The William Montgomery Show

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And I love that. When it's an older woman and you can tell, damn. You know she was hot. Yeah, you know she was looking good at some point. And she still looks good. And she still looks good in her own way. Yes. We would be so lucky to get older and look like them. I know. Look at that. That is couple goals. I think is what they call it. Yeah. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I just realized I haven't smiled in weeks. You're kidding. No, I smile every damn day. All I do is smile.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I went to one. So I click it. A little fortune comes out. It says, sorry, this one's for William.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Where? Yeah, like a mall Santa.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yeah, I was holding my breath because I'm thinking, wait, when. When you're old. It makes me nervous to think about because I think I maybe could be like a really good Santa Claus, but just with the. It's a lot of responsibility. Nature is stuff now. It's like, what if a little kid says I touch their butt or something? It's like, that's the last thing I need. You get canceled as Santa.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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They don't sit on your lap anymore? I don't know. Probably in some Midwestern states they do. Yeah, they probably still sit on a lap. But yeah, Grant, maybe. I start seeing the white hairs coming out of my beard kind of. So yeah, maybe sooner rather than later I can really look into it and really get it figured out. You would make a good Santa. A great Santa.

The William Montgomery Show

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Bullshit. Yeah. It says, sorry, this one's for William. And I said, okay, when? And it said, what day? And they said, it's for this Wednesday. And it's going to be a great day. So tomorrow. Tomorrow. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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And I don't want to talk out of school. I'd make a good Mrs. Claus. I would. I think with the correct makeup, I think, and then again, we're talking, what, maybe 15 years down the road? Yeah, 15 years when I look like her, I think. Well, if you look like her, Casey, and I look like him, we need to get back together. Yeah, man. And it's not a sex thing. We're just doing it. It's all for the kids.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yeah, they're going to love us. The kids are going to love our asses, dude. We're going to be so nice. We're going to say, what do you want for this? What do you want this year for Christmas? And I'll go, cookies are ready. And I'll be like, hey, keep it down back there. And then they can't help but scare me. I'm kidding. And then people will laugh and they'll laugh.

The William Montgomery Show

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I'm in a kitchen that they can't even see. They can't even see the kitchen. I'm in Otis Spunkenmeyer. Yeah, Otis Spunkenmeyer. I'm at Great American Cookie. Oh. So cool. I know all the mall cookie places, Grant. And everybody at the mall would love you and they'd probably all give you cookies for free. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Do it over your eyes. How do you know how to do that? Oh, my gosh, it does look like binoculars. It looks like cool binoculars you found somewhere.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I know. I know. We're doing it right now. Yeah. Just looking like a mom and just do it over your eyes is so great. I know. It's like you're watching somebody. Oh, my gosh. I've got my eyes on you.

The William Montgomery Show

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I am dead serious. They said, sit on your hands, buy your time. Casey, you don't need a fortune. You're doing okay. William. Yeah, yeah. I need one right now. You need a prayer. In a bad way, I need one right now. You need a prayer, brother. So tomorrow, two days after Cinco de Mayo, it's on for me. Yeah, it's on. That's what it said. And bold letters at the bottom. Wednesday. It's on. Damn.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Fuck yeah. That's gotta be the... That's cool. I like that. And we could do it at the mall. We will. We will. We have to. Wait, is there Doritos in those chips?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Oh, my God. By the way, they have a new Reese's out, and it's like chocolate. What is it called? Is it the one with jelly in it? No. Have you had that one? Uh-uh. It was okay. You're talking about the one with potato chips? There is a new one, Casey, and it has chocolate, like molten chocolate at the bottom. It's not hot, but it's like this liquidy chocolate. And I highly recommend.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Chocolate lava? It was really good. Yeah, chocolate lava.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I still need to try the one with dang potato chips in it. I can't keep up. I know, they come out all the time. And that's a good one with the potato chips. Well, sounds freaking good to me. Chocolate Lava Big Cup. I had that at Virginia Beach a couple weeks ago. I think it's only out in Virginia Beach right now. Oh, yeah. I'm kidding, but I thought, I've never seen this before.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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What is it, just Virginia Beach? I'm like, why would it only be Virginia Beach? Dumbass. Why are you even thinking that, dumbass? Yeah, get your head out of the gutter, freak.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I thought everybody hates me now, but I figured out they just weren't on my website.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I was pretty upset. I was pretty upset. We'll talk about it later. Well, you got, at least you got on there. So what did you do? Get on your website? Didn't you just saw that stuff wasn't on there?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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big laughs big laughs big cries big cries big cries and big dreams i was in my uh i had a weird i took a two hour two and a half hour nap yesterday and i was in a uh back in a place i've been before in a dream which was kind of fun i hadn't remembered one of my dreams in a long time i was back in the beach house we used to go to our cousins uh grandparents beach house in florida wow kind of a fun location for a dream it's

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Kind of a nice dream. I don't know. It wasn't necessarily a good one or a bad one. Sure. Just things were happening. Things were going on. Things were happening.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I walk into, I'm on like a ghost tour and then I really look around and I go. This is it. Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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You're in the ghost tour with what's her name? Miss Gunch. Yeah, Miss Gunch. Yeah. Debbie Wilson. Yeah, Debbie Wilson.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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I can't believe she got possessed during a ghost hunting thing.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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We really miss your guidance, Debbie Wilson. We miss you and we love you and we're always having fun. That's hilarious. And good for you for writing it down. Yeah, you would have to. If you're saying it a bunch in a dream, oh my gosh, you would have to. I know. It's exciting. Well, it was so much fun today, Casey. So nice to see you again. I'm so happy to be back. I could scream.

The William Montgomery Show

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I'm going to drive fast. First thing I'm going to do is get in my car and drive fast. And just see what happens. If you start getting tailed by a helicopter, you know, reach, pop trunk, pull out the burner. Yes. And park underneath like a, or in a parking structure. Maybe that would be a good, because then they can't switch cars pretty easily. Then I can switch. You used to do that, right, Grant?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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It was a pleasure, and you've got to watch The Sailor Man. Let us know. The trailer, I swear, makes it seem like a better movie, though.

The William Montgomery Show

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I'm sure it's awful. Yes, it was not good. We've got to thank our mercenaries. We must. Shiva, Stephen Fournier, Gaming Crooner. You saw him again. I saw you, Gaming Crooner. I saw you in Philly. What up, my boy? Hello, David.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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The Wizard, Trina K, Vanderweed, Vicious McFisty, White Magic, William and Casey the Cats, William Guerin, William Ramsey, Worm Drive Show on YouTube, Choose Your Own Adventure, Zombie Warlock, Anthony Whiplash, Marginson, Ashley, Belfield, Asalon, Avery's Hirsute, Bomb. Beef. Ben Hashen. Daniel Hunter. Danja Fox. Destiny A4. Dingleberry Harry. Do all the uncles kiss on the lips? Dovah King.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Dr. P. Dugan. Eli Slugworth. Gators. Godmother. Goldie Mae Star. Grant's Worst Nightmare. Hurley at WMS.lol. I love Big Macs. I poisoned his Big Mac tricks on him. I am the Big Mac. Oh, my gosh. Triptych. Jenny, Jay, Jess, Joe, Kive, John Shaw, Justin, Threckle, Captain Chaos, Casey's mom. Has got it going on.

The William Montgomery Show

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Kyle, Heath, Larry, Lawyer Joe, Little Miss Becky, Nigel Nigelson, Nissan Pappy, Papa Coon, Patrick Casey, Robert Bushell, Ruby Jewel Sparkles, Shana Shikaya for the Big Isla, Satrak and Sergio. And Shiva. We love you, Shiva. We gave you a shout out twice.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Check out William online at william.f.montgomery1 on Instagram.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Find more of me, Casey Rocket, at patreon.com slash caseyrocket. Follow me on Instagram at caseyrocket. This episode of The William Montgomery Show was recorded at Record ATX Studios right here in the heart of Austin, Texas.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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And by the way, and Erica, I thought I'd bring it up when Casey was around. What? you know, it was really hard for me.

The William Montgomery Show

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Uh-oh. Hello. We thought you were going to tell us a little bit. No, you're not muted. We were just letting you go. Damn, okay. We were taking our finger off the button. Leaving me hanging. Go ahead. Yeah, as Casey said, we're letting your ass go, man. And then you kind of just stopped. We were thinking we were going to get something out of you right there. Get an ounce of truth for once.

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Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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God, he's a steel trap. Yeah, what's going on? Is everything good, at least at your house, with all the disasters that were going on?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Well, we're middle of Q2 right now. Oh, my God. I'm so behind. Yeah, we're middle Q2 right now. And also, it sounds like I was a little horrified when I saw it. Looks like you're doing a competing podcast with us. I cannot believe.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yeah, it looks a little too similar. Eric and I watched it the other night. Oh, did you? It seemed a little too similar. What was it? Episode two we saw?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

475.954

It's literally. And we're supposed to compete with that.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

481.92

yeah he's now putting it which is like i'm not getting anything from that yeah the mercenaries already like hello crawlers better than our shit so it's like they're already we're already having to worry about people jumping ship and now it's going to be expedited with this bullshit you're pulling grant you're literally uploading your shit on our shit here's a picture of me my podcast

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Dude, this is just sad, Grant. Yeah, that's a little like I was picturing like a happy kind of y'all crawling on the ground, but not really with the diaper. The diaper stuff seems like weird.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

518.106

Yeah, that's freaking creepy, man. And why'd you have your hair cut like that when you were doing it anyway? You already have a fade. Not to brag, my numbers are better than yours right now. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

533.618

Yeah. Well, check these numbers, Grant. One, two. Oh, shit. You're about to have to check these. One, two. I'm so sorry. Yeah, literally on the other side of this door that you're like, we're right here. You're right there.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

549.401

Well, we're proud of you. We're happy for you for doing it. But be careful. Don't upload it on our shit because people are going to start getting mad.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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So I'm thinking, okay, shaved, that's better because then I can't really pick up the weirdness in the turkey because it's all kind of shaved. It all just blends together. It really does. But today that was really blended, the turkey.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yes. And you do not want that because Casey and I are going to be standing like under some awning or something, just acting like, like, do we act like we know him? Do we? It's like the people denying Jesus.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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And then it's like, they get us.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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You know it. And you know what? I have a feeling we won't even let this happen because you'd just become a martyr. You'd become a martyr for the cause. You would.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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The baby's cause? Yeah. Having good safe spaces to crawl around.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

625.845

Well, he had some well, some one of your cohorts had the volleyball knee pads. I saw what seemed like a smart move because I was thinking it would be hard on your knees to be constantly on the ground.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

642.476

uh i'm very jealous i think once we raise enough money through patreon we'll have knee pads for everyone yeah just buy them for yourself dude yeah i mean that was like a weird as shit thing to just say right there what do you mean we're gonna get them for every wait knee pad it's like i don't even understand maybe we gotta scale up you want so you okay you want us to be the sister podcast is what i'm assuming and we start crawling around like babies

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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You'd do that with us? No, you would do that to us? I think it's cross-promotion. That's all. Not if we're crawling every episode.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yeah, I mean, did you ever think about that? What if we start crawling, we like crawling, and then you got a problem on your hands because you're like, wait, I thought you were going to crawl twice a month or something. Why is it every episode now?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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It's not your thing. It's baby's thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like embarrassing. We learned it from babies, first of all, which me and William both were. Yes. And Erica. Yeah, probably just a test tube, baby. That's probably why you're so smart. Just a test tube, baby. And you are smart as a whip.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yeah. That was too much. I think it was too much, and I never thought there could be too much. But you hated it? I couldn't tell. I need to eat another sandwich later today or tomorrow, and I need to put just mayonnaise and mustard on that thing.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Well, I mean, again, we're all for it. You did miss out. You weren't able to crawl a lot growing up, so it's cool you're able to now, but keep it to yourself, please, and don't be uploading the stuff on our stuff. It's got nothing to do with us, man. We work our tails off. Yeah, I mean, it's been a real hard couple months.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

758.254

Grant has to listen to us the whole time. Not funny. No. Not funny. No, no, no. Get that off. Get that off. Get that off.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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That is scary. Cross promo for what? Yeah, I mean.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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You hearing this? Yeah, I mean, Casey hasn't been here in a couple weeks, and it's like, what are you talking about?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

786.482

Yes, that just happened. Oh my gosh.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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How did you do that, freak? Great. Got him.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

808.178

But you know. Stuffy's ass on a baby. Damn. Yeah, yeah. That's a cute baby. That's a sick baby. Dude, I bet he was an adorable baby. Over in Libya, the big island. Libya. Isn't he from Libya?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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He was the Libyan dictator. And then he, it wasn't, he's a guy who had the, his bodyguards were like pretty women, weren't they? Was that that guy? He had a harem of like sexy bodyguards.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Wait, so what does that mean, having a harem? Like, you're just the boss of all these women, and they got to kind of do what you say, and they're also your bodyguard? Well, a harem is like a sexual conclave. So it's like a bunch of, like, you roll with, like, a deep group of women that you're having intercourse with.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Yeah, and it's problematic as hell. And I know Grant's ears perked up. He goes, oh, I want a harem. Yeah, hold on. And I go, no, not like that. Grant, how many bitches up to do you think you could handle? What's your bitch limit, Doug? What do you think? Like, if we're being real right now. Being real real? Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Are you at your house shaving boar's head? Is that what's happening?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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Like a little person. Oh, a little person. Yeah, you could have a bunch of little people around. Little women around. Not a bunch. Because then you can really dominate them, Grant. If they're all real short and stuff, you could just kind of push them out of the way. One would hope. Yeah. Push them out of the way. They're in your way. Yeah, y'all got to get out of my way.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

909.275

I'm trying to fucking go to bed. Get out of my way. They're just like always in the hallway. Just get out of my fucking way tonight. I've had enough of y'all tonight. Find somewhere to be. Yeah, seriously. Y'all are so small. You could probably all fit in a room. Just get in a room or something. Get out of my get out of the way. Hey, what did I say? It's lights out at 1030. And what time is it?

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

92.017

Yeah, unfortunately, I mean, we don't have enough counter space. I would love a freaking just big old meat slicer. Like the wrestler. Have you seen that with Mickey Rourke? Yup. What, does he do that on purpose where he does his finger? He's like, you know what? My whole life is pain. I've come to like pain, and I know this ain't what I'm doing. I'm an entertainer. Yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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It's 1045. Lights out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And y'all better not be eating fucking candy or anything tonight because I found a bunch of wrappers the other night. I don't know which one of y'all snuck them in the house, but please do not do that anymore. I don't have money to take all y'all to the dentist.

The William Montgomery Show

Popeye Goes Rogue | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 179

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My teeth are bad. Forever. It's bad. And I got to say, and we're having a funny as hell conversation, but if Lorne Michaels sees this, I'm never getting on SNL. Oh, stop. Never say never. I'm never getting on SNL. Never say never. But you can tell I'm pure of heart. Grant, it's so good to be back. Yeah. You went on some travels.

The William Montgomery Show

Jessie Johnson & Joel Jimenez | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 170

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Computers are heavy. I don't blame his ass. What happened to him?

The William Montgomery Show

Kyle Legacy | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 174

1045.765

Wait, isn't that what James Bond does?

The William Montgomery Show

Kyle Legacy | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 174

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Like, pretend you're a Muslim scouse, if that helps, yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

Kyle Legacy | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 174

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Chicken and a can of Coke.

The William Montgomery Show

Kyle Legacy | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 174

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Wait. Wait. No. Damn, I gotta, like, practice or something. Oh, what about, say, like, what's happening? What's happening?

The William Montgomery Show

Kyle Legacy | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 174

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Gib mir was anderes, was anderes. Sag, oh, das ist schwer, das ist schwer. Sag, das ist schwer, das ist schwer.

The William Montgomery Show

Kyle Legacy | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 174

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Oh yeah, Elf is a classic one. Love Actually is probably our English Christmas movie. Oh. Yeah. Is that a good one? Have you ever seen that one, Erica?

The William Montgomery Show

CJ Landry | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 178

1953.629

It's almost like a white noise machine. Oh, I love those things.

The William Montgomery Show

CJ Landry | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 178

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And they make their food so cute. Yeah, yeah.

The William Montgomery Show

CJ Landry | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 178

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And they were so fucking mean there. Fuck them.