Casey Rocket
Appearances
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I put on shoes. It was winter. And I just ran into the woods. And I just ran. And it was like fucking my arms all up because it was bramble bushes. and I ran for several miles, and then there was a gas station. And I had stolen some change, so I called some of my friends, and I was like... It was like I was trying to brag, because they were 14 too, so there's nothing they could do.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Hey, I'm in the middle of dinner right now. Let me call you back. I was like, yo, I broke out of rehab. And they were like, what? That's all right. You're like, cool, I guess. And then I called my dad and I was like, yeah, I ran away. Then he came and got me. All right, there you go. And actually, the police came and they had called the police like teenage runaway. The police took me back there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah. What the fuck was like one of those teen challenge things? You know, there's like Netflix documentaries like that troubled teen industry or is one of those things.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Sit down, fat boy. They said, I can't come back, which I was like, perfect. Ideal situation. Thanks, dickhead. What? No.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, I know. Oh, what? So they said I couldn't come back because that was like a trouble to the other kids or something because I ran away. I was like, I would have ran away the first day if I knew that. Dude, he's a nightmare. I love it. So they from there, they put me in a mental hospital for like two weeks because they were like, we don't know what to do with you.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
The rehab was saying, put him in jail as like a ward of the state. Crazy. And is this just drugs?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
No, just drugs. Just us. yeah i only have uh i have a serious substance abuse problem but i don't have any mental health problems gotcha and so i both baby don't worry just that night yeah you're in good company take him to the hospital so they they put me in the hospital for a little bit i got out and then break out of there too yeah well no no they let me out eventually
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
So it like ran its course. I just never think about this stuff. So then I went back to public school. Okay. And then one week later, I got kicked out of public school for being high on Robitussin at the football game with my friend Brett. And our backpacks were like full of stolen bottles of wine from CVS. And they went through my pockets, and it was like Tuss. It was like a clown car.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Just a never-ending, just a very long bottle. It was like three packs of Marlboro Reds, two bottles of Rippin' Tuss, and one bottle of wine in my pants. Crazy thing is he was the quarterback.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
In his finest DX shirt. Business as usual. I was happy to hear that you are a CEO. You're a businessman. That gives me comfort. Sure, yes. I'm also a businessman of sorts. In what sense? What type of work do you do? Ventures. Ventures. Here and there. Not capitals, just ventures. Just ventures. I'm working up to capitals. And it's been the best summer ever, and I'm happy to be here. That's great.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Is this regular Robitussin? Yeah. Well, Robitussin DM. You can't drink CF. It gets you really sick. Like, violently sick. And sometimes we made that mistake. Like, how sick could it get you? And then you're like, ah! It's like shitting and puking family guy style out of both ends. You're like, oh, it's true. The rumors are true. But like a bottle would? Like four ounces.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Four ounces will get you going. And then you get a Tuss tolerance. So then it's eight ounces, 12 ounces. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I did. I drank all the time. But as far as like a day to day thing that I could have access to because I didn't have a car. Right. My mom, you know, would go get groceries. So I wanted to be high all the time. I just have that gene. Sure. I'm just a drug addict. And so I would just steal tests. Yeah. Gotcha. You'd go with your mom and you'd steal it. Mm hmm.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
When I was younger, you know, until I had a car, yeah. Until he got a car. What was that first car? A red Pontiac Grand Am. No shit. Where'd you get that? What year? It would have been a 2008. All right. Yeah, it was nice. It's a set of wheels. Yeah, I think it was $3,500. It was a nice car, $3,500. Where'd you get the cash for that? My dad bought it, and I worked it off. Gotcha.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I saw it out front. Several times. So I got kicked out of the ninth grade and then not even a ninth grade. Where do you go from there when you get kicked out of a public school in a rural town? So I was kicked out of the eighth grade and then they were that was for fighting. And then I had a bamboo weed pipe in my book bag, like a piece of bamboo that we had made into like a piece pipe.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
And then, so then I go to rehab. So it goes kicked out of the eighth grade rehab. I got a public school for one week. I get kicked out of public school. Then I go to the mental hospital for two weeks. Then I couldn't go to any more public schools cause I've been kicked out twice in one year. Okay. So then they sent me to military school. Really? So then I spent six months in military school.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, when I was from 14 to 15. How was that? Awful. What was the name of it? It's called Riverside Military Academy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Or was it all the way through? It was middle school through high school. Yeah, so it was like 7th, 8th, and then all of high school.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, really, really formal. Everyone's in military guard, roughly at 5 or 6 in the morning. Then you march. Everyone marches as a school, and then you break off into your platoons or your companies.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
That's part of the problem is I wasn't ever getting to get any sleep. Yeah. So I was always acting out.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, some people. I mean, there was definitely a lot of violence, for sure, but I had a lot of friends, too. What the fuck?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Well, I did it my semester, so I did second half of my freshman year at military school, and then enough time had elapsed where I could go back to public school. Go back in the same public school system.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, I was like legendary. Yeah, I was like persona non grata. I was like, oh, that's that guy. That's that young Tusk kid.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
From 15, then I graduated public school, and then I graduated from Georgia Southern. Yeah. Okay. So I went to college, yeah. No kidding. What'd you get in the SATs? Is that the one with the longer number? Never mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, but I got a 22 on the, I got a 24 on the ACT.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Sure. I'm well read. Okay. Were you always reading when you were growing up?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I like, yeah, I read a lot of books and I watch a ton of movies. I've seen probably like 10,000 movies. So you were reading on your own as a kid while you were going through all this shit?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
which isn't really that that takes no effort to do so i've actually never read a book um because i was high all the time and even though i went back to public school i was i still i got sober for the first time when i was 21 so from from 15 to 21 it was just mayhem mayhem yeah complete chaos everything um it was it was fine i did good i graduated with a degree in journalism No shit.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Mm-hmm. I was the head of the school magazine. Whoa. Look at this.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
What was it? It was called Reflector Magazine. No kidding.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Is that true? I was born in Normal, Illinois. Bloomington, Normal, Illinois. Okay. On a day just like today. And... Scared yet Scared yet And But I was raised in Georgia I spent my whole life in Georgia Okay So yeah North Georgia Kind of rural area When did you guys pull out of Illinois?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, I had a lot of my friends from high school. So this was about five hours from where I grew up. So I kind of got out of that town.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, I got a couple. I almost did not make it my freshman year. I got a couple strikes with the university.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
for i got i got arrested for drunken public twice and then i got i my ra you know i'm talking about the door people he came narcs i call him yeah he came into my room and i was blackout drunk and i was like who is this guy i was like trying to fight i had never met him so i was like what are you doing in my house i was like trying to fight him this guy broke into my house holy shit
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
But after that, I made pretty, I mean, for a couple years I was still drinking, but I really turned my life around when I was 18. I was like, you know, this has to change. I have to try. Because I was failing out my freshman year. I had failed like four out of my five classes. And my dad was like, you know, you're going to have to move home. Like if you don't turn it around.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
where so that was that was just drinking then not no drugs um no like recreational yeah pretty much just drinking okay yeah all right but you made it through journalism degree yeah that's fucking hard man yeah that's fucking awesome yeah i enjoyed writing and it gave me a sense of purpose being uh the editor of the magazine i enjoyed that so yeah yeah that's all right sense of responsibility and then when'd you start comedy
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
So I started at Georgia Southern doing the school talent shows.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
So I did two years at Georgia Southern and I would go to Savannah, do open mics down there. And then I was in Atlanta proper for like nine months. Okay. And then I was in Boise, Idaho. The hotbed. All right. What were you doing there? I was there for three years and then I've been here for four years.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I had a buddy. The people I was living with when I graduated college wanted to move out there and do like mountain bike stuff. So I just went with them. But I never did any of that stuff. I was like, oh, I'll just go hang out. It's crazy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Well, I met Red Band after maybe a month of being here. Okay. And at that time, I was living in my car. So I met Red Band and William just randomly. All right. Okay. And then I did kill Tony maybe eight months later or something.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
um no just trying to make it work with comedy where'd you get money how did you did you i would i would do door dash okay so i would door dash and then i would try to make the money from the gigs i was getting which is like 10 or 20 yeah yeah but when you're living in your car there's no overhead what sure what is that car at that time a ford escape so it's not it has a little bit of space where'd you get that car
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I bought it in Idaho. Okay. From working. So you're making it work. All right. Jesus Christ. What was your first proper job as a kid? I worked at like seven different pizza places. I was just a delivery driver.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
When I was about four years old About four years old Yeah Brothers?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I when I was in college, I get when I drink, I get delirium tremors. So I get the shakes and I would have to drink before I sweet. All right. I would have to drink before I drove. So I would have to drink to safely drive. So because I would have alcoholic seizures. So I would be delivering pizzas and I'd be like crushing these little four loco things called bootleggers.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
And my backseat was just full of bootleggers. I would just be driving, but I wasn't any drunker than the next guy. It was just kind of, I guess that's sound logic, but it was a college town. Like, I don't know. Yeah. But yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I had at the time when I was born, I had an older sister. Okay. She's alive. I don't know why I said it. But at the time and at that time and at this time, I had an older sister and she's four years older than me. And then now I have two half brothers. Okay. So they are 18 and 16.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Are you listening to the show? Thanks for all that. I've been to jail several times. I've been to jail four times. Three times for drunken public and one time for shoplifting.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Well, that's the thing is they would be like, keep it moving. And I'd be like, what did you fucking say to me?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Oh, my God. Yeah, I was incorrigible. Yeah, I was very police always made me super angry. So I'd be drunk. They'd be like, keep it moving. Don't you fucking tell me what to do. I pay your salary or something. You go bust a meth lab, you fucking pig. Jesus. Just a traffic cop. Hey, take it easy, kid. What were you stealing at Walmart? I was stealing from a Publix. A Publix, I'm sorry.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
And I had Walmart. Back then, they didn't have those little gates, so it was a free-for-all. The rule of thumb was to steal from Walmart because they had a no-chase policy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Well, all I ever wanted was for someone to tell me to stop. Sure. I just wanted somebody to bring my reign to an end. Is that true? No. I don't know. Maybe. Fucking high on tusks, dude.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
There was dozens of people who told him to stop. I had a support system, but I did not. I did not care. Man, I love you. This is fucking great.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
You're fucking killing it. It's going really good. He came to watch me in like four or five cities last year. That's very nice. This has to blow his mind. I think it does.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I know. Yeah, I think it truly, and for good reason, I think they both 100% thought I would be dead by now. Buddy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in Chicago this week, and he's coming to see me in Chicago, and then my mom's going to my other shows in Chicago, so that's continuing. I'm doing Old Town Zanies and Rosemont. Rosemont, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
No. No? They don't see eye to eye. They don't talk. Gotcha.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
But I will tell you, when I was arrested for shoplifting, not to harp on this, just because it's a funny story, I went in there to steal beer, and it was like 4 or 5 in the morning, and I was on a bunch of Ritalin. And I was blackout drunk, obviously. And I tried to fill the shopping cart. I was so drunk, I didn't make it to the beer aisle. I just started clearing shelves into the cart.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yes. Well, they split up when I was like seven. So they were together for a couple years after we moved down there. Okay.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
We'll take care of it. I'll be right back. Yeah, it's one of those things where you're saying something and you're doing the opposite. So I was going, oh, yeah, for sure. I'm going to come in there and pay for it. And then I just got in my car and drove away. And they showed up at my house because they got my license plate.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
All I ever wanted was for someone to tell me to stop. Having a cold cut.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
All right. Yeah. Who are you living with now? I have my own apartment. I live by myself. That's amazing. What kind of car you got now? I just bought a new car. It is a 2018 Toyota 4Runner. Kid's got a new 4Runner out there. Pretty good.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Well, I have some dollars now. Sure. I did like 50 cities last year. Yeah, man. I bought a car. That's great. Love to fucking. How fucking awesome is that? Yeah. It's exciting. It's super new to me. Even last December, so not this one, the one before that, I could only sell maybe 20 tickets. So it's pretty exciting. That's amazing.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Back and forth. Back and forth. Was it close, the houses? Relatively. Okay. Relatively. 20 minutes. 30 minutes. Was it civil? Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Holy shit. It's absolutely true. It's my first lease. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
We're going to need 100 months in advance. My credit is not great, understandably. But also, I'd always lived with girls. So when I moved out of... When I was living in Boise, I was living with a girl, my girlfriend. And then...
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
My man. Off the radar. Off the grid, baby. Got to be able to stick and move, dude. Yeah, well, I never want to get involved in something that I can't pack up my bags and be gone in 30 seconds. Heat logic. It's all this. It could be gone. Sounds well adjusted. Sounds healthy. So, yeah, man, I'd never been on a lease, so it's pretty exciting. That's awesome, man. I have all my stuff. It's wonderful.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, I just got a couch last week. Where'd you buy it? What kind of store? Discount furniture store. That's okay. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
No, they delivered it. Thankfully, it fit through the door. Yeah. What kind of bed you got over there now? I got a board mattress company free mattress from the William Montgomery show. There he is. And a bed frame that I have a button and I can make the bed stand up. Look at this guy. Come on. Come on.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
No. Next question. Not in the slightest. That's what we were looking for, baby. It was messy. It was a bloodbath. That's where I got my keen business sense. That's where I learned my ventures. Both ends against the middle. They don't negotiate with each other. But, yeah, so I was a child, and that was great. Raised in rural Georgia. Rural Georgia.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
This is from a company called Suplex Vintage in Philly. I know Mike very well. No way. Shout out to him. Yeah, I got all my shoes from Mike. Bunch of their stuff. Yeah, they're cool guys. Great. Yeah. I got a bunch of other shirts. This... I don't know what these pants are. I have, like, three pairs of pants. I just rotate. It's just style. It's the worst thing. Of course. I'm just curious.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Well, I had my... Okay, so... So I have a little money, but I've had my apartment for like nine months since last May, and I just got a couch. Before that, I had two director's chairs that I bought at a thrift store. So I had two director's chairs in the middle of the living room, and I would just sit there in my director's chairs and watch my movies.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
It's a pretty good-sized town, but it was pretty rural. My mom is a horse trainer, so I grew up... No shit? Yeah. Like racetrack? Western pleasure. So like show horses. That sounds like a pornography. Well, there's two styles of show horses. There's English, which is like the little black hat and the chaps. Gotcha. Very proper in the crop. And they do jumping. And it's called dressage.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Because we can't sit next to each other either. That's a tough move, dude.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Sure. Cooking a little bit. Yeah. Spaghetti. Is that your dish? I don't know. I don't cook very often. I mostly eat out.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
You know, I haven't been home very much. It's working. I'm working. I'm on the road. 50 cities. Under Riff Challenge.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
uh not very much not very much yeah how old are you when you got your passport do you have your passport i have a passport yeah i did canada i did canada three times last year yeah okay so is that when you got got it yeah uh-huh a couple years ago well i when i was 20 i did a month studying abroad in paris ah so i got a passport for that cultured man how the fuck did that happen
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
How did that happen? They let the cat out of the bag. They let the big dog eat. They let me over there, the tusk tyrant. They called me La Infante Terrible.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
It was great. It was the same cost of doing a semester at Georgia Southern, but it was just in France. Oh, I loved it. It was wonderful. That's crazy. I fell in love with a girl from Ghana, and then I never saw her again. Man. Her name is Judith. If you're out there, just call me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, it was a cultural shift. Yeah. A shift. I've never heard that. It was great.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, I did. I went out to Versailles one night because the train line runs to Versailles, and they have a great train system there. And then I don't remember if I fell asleep or what, but I was out there at Versailles, which is relatively far from Paris, and the train stopped running.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
So then I was just in Versailles, in this golden city that looks like an emperor city, and it was just me on the streets. And, yeah, it was pretty tough. I don't remember how I got home. I was thinking about that the other day. You guys got any lunch meat out here? Yeah. Did you like the food over there? I'm going to have to shoplift my way back. Interpol's looking for you. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, man, the food was good. The chicken was real good. The chicken? What? Well, that's what comes to mind. They have, like, hormone-free chicken. Sure. Yeah, it was delicious. How's the palate? Do you like a nice dinner? I have a really, really simple palate. Like meat and cheese. Tell us. Meat and cheese. That's it, meat and cheese. Cheeseburger, pizza, meat and cheese. Taco, enchilada.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I almost bit through my tongue eating a cheese enchilada like two days ago in Cincinnati. I bit my tongue so hard and I turned to my friend and I said, is it there? And my mouth was full of blood. Dude, that shit's the worst. Talk about rooting a fucking sandwich. I know. I fucking hate that. It's the last bite of the meal, too.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Pete Terry's is really good out here at the Burger Place. Pete Terry's makes a fine burger. That's kind of a specialty spot. Sure. You're talking about the basics? I like Taco Bell. Taco Bell is good. He's a TB, man. He is.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I love a frozen Baja Blast. Sure. Slushies. Goddamn gentleman. So tasty.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, I love, I just have a really simple, no onions or anything, just meat and cheese. What do you hate?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Mustard. Hate mustard and pickles. Hey, I don't want to talk about that. Guys, let's move on from here. You get me all worked up. I can't talk about this. They hate mustard like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, but then Western pleasure is like cowboy horses. So everyone, they're show horses. So you dress like a cowboy. It's basically like make-believe. And then you show these real nice horses with real nice lineages, and she would help to train the horses. Gotcha.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
A little ketchup? A little mayo? I just started putting ketchup on it about a year ago, so I've worked up to that. Man, success has gone to your head.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I have this reoccurring thing called iritis, which is an inflammation of the iris, which is, you can go blind from it. Yeah. Whoa. I started getting it. I went to a strip club in Atlanta. This is true. I hope you believe me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I pray you'll believe me. On a night just like tonight. And this is maybe 10 years ago, and we went to a strip club. And the next day, I woke up, and I opened my eye, and I just started screaming. Because it is...
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
you know how your eye dilates when it's exposed to sunlight iritis is where when the dilation takes place it causes a muscle spasm like as if you're having like a back spasm or like a spasm in your thigh but it's your eyeball so it feels like your eyeball is being like torn out of your head it's extraordinarily painful and i get it once a year freaking me out
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
What does the strip club have to do with this? I don't know. I don't know. But it has to be a correlation, right? It has to be a correlation. It can't be I get this weird, because it's a super rare disease. Only like maybe 50,000 people get it in America every year.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I'm not going to sit here and lie to you. I got a dance. I got a dance.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Do you wear contacts? Yeah, I don't have them in right now, but yeah, I do. Are you nearsighted or farsighted? I always forget what that means, but I can't see far. Drove here. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Have you ever been to a monster truck rally? I wish. I had Gravedigger reach out. What? Yeah, Gravedigger. It's a girl who drives it. You're officially the most famous person I've ever met. That's awesome. She messaged me a couple weeks ago, and she said that I could come to a rally or something. Whoa. I'm never around. Go. I would love that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I think I probably went when I was a kid. We were always going to, like, rodeos, and my mom always had, like, really, really, like, redneck boyfriends, like Bobby Ray, Billy Ray.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
They divorced a couple years ago. Gotcha. Yeah, he wasn't the best guy. Yeah. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, they're doing good. My mom lives in southern Illinois again. She moved back to our old family farm. So she out there. No, no neighbors in the middle of cornfields out there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Your mom. Well, it's from like her childhood. Yeah, it's like her great grandfather. It's like two acres and then a little little farmhouse out there. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, it had changed hands with different people in the family, and then now she has it, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Strike number one. Shh. Yeah, I didn't enjoy it at the time, but I've grown to become fond of them. Does she still do it? Mm-hmm. That's pretty good. What was the house like, girl? Was it a house, a condo, a townhouse? My dad, when I would be at my dad's, it was like a house, like a two-story house, like a regular house.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, it's really nice out there. So she's got her horses, and she's got like seven or eight horses she's gathered through the years. That she owns? Yeah, well, there's some in the barn that are leased there. Trying to make the cash. People pay her. Yeah, of course. And does she train the horses that she owns to perform? Yeah, she still shows them sometimes, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
She won something at the Congress, the World Horse Congress, which is like the Super Bowl of horse riding a couple years ago. No shit. She won a show or something. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
The kid's making moves. I just got home. The bed goes up and down.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
He just does that ten times a day. Did you go and get a physical? No. I just want to flash the card for the chicks. Well, they sent me a letter in the mail because I was gone for three weeks. I just got back yesterday, and they said, hey, we're going to cancel your insurance. They might have canceled it because I didn't pay it. Okay. But I had medical insurance, if only for a moment.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I like it. I like it. I feel generally more like my life is more together when I'm on the road than when I'm home. Sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Because I don't have I have a girlfriend. I have a bisexual girlfriend in Atlanta.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I have a bisexual artist girlfriend, and she lives in Atlanta, so I don't remember where I was even going with that. I guess I just wanted you guys to know that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I truly don't know where I was going with that. Travel, I think. Sure, travel. I asked you about hotels. When I come back to hotels, yeah, for sure. My girlfriend's bi.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
when I'm home I feel lost like I'll be gone I've just been doing last year I was gone way too much then I would come home and I feel like I wouldn't know my friends anymore and I would just feel really lost here you mean yeah gotcha but so I'm trying to find a better after the next couple weeks it's I'm doing weekends now which is a blessing so I will be home more than I was yeah yeah yeah because when you're doing one-nighters you can line up I mean you could be gone forever a month yeah yeah sometimes I'll be gone for like one or two months yeah
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
United. Oh. You're United, man. Yeah. Okay. But I'm thinking about switching to Delta because they lost my bag. Bastards.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
It's new. She is one of my really good friends from high school. Yes. No, I'm sorry. She...
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I didn't finish my sentence. See? One of my really good friends from high school who I moved to Idaho with, that is her brother. So she is one of my best friend's sisters.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah. Now you're... Now we're dating, yeah. Now you're killing it. We're in love. We just started dating like a month ago. So it's super new. But it's interesting because I was gone. You know, I've seen the world. I've been out there. I've done different things. And then I came back to finally be with someone who is from where I'm from.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
But then my mom's house— How many times have you said house makes me think it was not a house? It was totally normal house, two-story house, two-story house. Tons of doors. You guys would have loved it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
At the end of the day, I came home and I said, you know what, this person, I really looked at her and I was like, you know what I really like? I was searching for something, and it was right there the whole time.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I went around the world, but she was right there the whole time.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Aunt Soupy. That's a real one? That's my aunt's name, Aunt Soupy. Aunt Soupy. Well, I have an Aunt Cindy, so that's very close. Not as weird, but close. No. Okay. Yeah, Joey, Jeff. It's kind of right up the middle. Brad. You got an Uncle Brad? I got an Uncle Brad. Uncle Brad's all right. He's the main uncle. He's got a bunch of kids. A bunch of my cousins are via Brad. They come to Ken of Brad.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
You guys would have loved it. It was perfect. But my mom's, we would move around all the time. So sometimes we would be like in a camper. Sometimes we would be like. Why get the fuck out of here? Yeah, like a real small camper. And I burned it down on accident. I was lighting. You did it on purpose. That's absolutely true. I was lighting little fires in the sink.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
By way of Brad. You close with the family? Relatively, just around the holidays.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
yeah yeah my little brothers are younger now they're older 16 and 18 but yeah so I yeah whatever every Christmas I'll fly home go do it down there because they're little kids so yeah it's mostly for them Thanksgiving I stay here stay here but if I did do it in the past it's always been at my dad's yeah now like this year will you decorate your apartment but maybe put a little tree do a little something or no
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I had a little Santa by the door okay but I don't you know I didn't have a girlfriend or anything like living with me so it's all just me so my apartment is covered like head to toe and like Donnie Darko Paul Thomas Anderson like guy stuff Rust Cole Drew Detective shit
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, keep it pretty tip-top. Cleanliness is next to godliness. They taught us that at military school. Jesus Christ. Taught me that when I was digging stumps.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Can I be both? Duality of man. Sure. You can walk in both worlds. Yeah. I dip my toes in both. Spaghetti. I don't really make spaghetti. I was just trying to impress y'all. I don't make... Come on. What are we doing here? He's got you fucking... I just wanted y'all to think that I cook. Do you drink milk? Do you like milk? If y'all do. I don't drink it like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I'm sorry, I think there's no bisexual girlfriend. I don't drink it like that. Okay.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
No mayonnaise. It's a plain Jane, meat and cheese. I just started using ketchup. Ketchup is new for me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I'm reading a book about a doomed Arctic expedition called The Worst Journey in the World. That's pretty good. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
and why i i guess i was just bored or i was angry i don't know i was really young sure and then the i couldn't it got bigger than i anticipated some things were burning some things got out of hand and i grabbed the nearest thing and i poured it on it when it was nail polish fluid and it fucking and i burned down our little home Who lived there? Was it just you and her? Just me and her.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
And we need to be talking about it right now. It was purple, yeah. I would have been a hero. They would have threw me a fucking parade.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
No. Damn. HP. Damn, I was rooting for you. Kindle. I got an HP.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
No. Hunter S. Thompson style. No, not Thompson style. I saw an interview once with Paul Thomas Anderson, and he said that he learned how to direct movies from watching a bunch of movies. So I was like, you know, I'm basically him. I basically made Boogie Nights when I was 26. Yeah. I am La Infant Terrible. I am a wunderkind.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
He was really young. That's crazy. Dude, he made Magnolia when he was 30, which is like this beautiful three-hour opus. It's unbelievable. Frank T.J. Mackey. Yeah. The best. So I figure that's probably where I'm at in my life. I'm just Paul Thomas Anderson. So that's how I view myself. And then I go on stage and talk about worms for an hour or two.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Thank you, guys. What do you got coming up? You got a tour? I'm on tour. Casey Rocket comedy dot com. I'm doing 30 cities this year, going to Australia, going to the UK, going to Australia, going to Australia. Well, what's the fucking shoplift? Nothing over there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
UK, Ireland, going all over the place. But yeah, CaseyRacketComedy.com. Yeah, thank you all so much, buddy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I don't know where my sister was at that time, but it was super small. But that was like a pretty small portion. That was like six months maybe. Was the camper on like a site or were you just kind of popping up? It was behind the barn. So it was just out in the woods.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
yeah that she would rent i guess gotcha doesn't even own the barn she's renting the barn sure that makes sense though it's like some rich guy that owns the barn she's a horse trainer for sure yeah all right um and then we would move all we would move around we lived in a barn for a while like a little apartment sure we all uh we all slept in the same bed so what age we talking there um maybe eight or nine probably too old is this when your parents were still together
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah. Whoa. What'd your dad do? What does he do? Yeah. Business, just like me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, he pitches products to Home Depot. So people come to him with a product, and he's like the middleman. Yeah. Gotcha.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah. Yeah. Really? Yeah. So he like sets up at what do you call them? Like conferences and he'll have his booth with the products of the people and really try to push like the buyers or whatever. Yeah. Like Lowe's Home Depot.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
He could pop like that. Maybe. I don't know the extent of I don't know. He's really described it to me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Because he does give little presentations. I've never been there. Do you still talk to both of your parents? Yes. Okay. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I do. I feel like I'm talking to Kaiser Soze over here. Start talking in a British accent. My mother's name was Couch Desk.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I could see him being a smart guy though. Relatively. I mean, it came relatively easy to me, but I never like tried at it. Like B's and C's. Okay. That's pretty good. Fair enough. Not bad. Sports? Yeah, baseball. My dad was my baseball coach. Really? All right.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
He was he pitched at Illinois State. So he was a baseball player. And he was my rec baseball coach from when I was four to when I was 18. So, OK, my whole life, he was my baseball coach. Can he throw heat? He was a curveball guy. Eighty five topped out at eighty five. Had some movement on it, though. A little bit of Western pleasure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Shortstop, primarily. But I would move around. I was a utility man.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Played for the Blue Jays for a couple of seasons. Yeah, tapered off towards the end there. Did you do that in high school, too? Did you play for your high school team? I didn't. I only played rec. Yeah. Okay. Just rec. I was decent. I never really tried at it, though. I love love baseball. I'm a huge Cubs fan, but I never applied myself.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
That was just when they were together. So I have a memory of going there a couple times. And then never been on one with my mom. We didn't have the money to do that. Sure. Working single mom. Yeah. My dad, he took me a couple times to a beach. Yeah, like South Carolina. What? A beach. A house. Business. Tried to pull away. You're chasing the car. I never think about this stuff.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah, it took me to a beach. Sounds like you're making up an alibi on the spot.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I did not when I was a kid. It was very contemptuous. Yeah. What age did that happen? Oh, so you said 10. I was 10. Gotcha. Yeah. And then my mom remarried when I was 15, maybe. All right. Yeah. Were you in that wedding?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
I was in my dad's wedding. Crab walking down the aisle. Yeah. But by the time my mom remarried, I was completely, I was gone on the TUS. I was completely, I was high all the day. All the day. All the live long day. On Robitussin. On TUS and weed and TUS. Wait, really? You were doing Robitussin? He was Robo-tripping. That's what I've heard about the man. For a short period of my, from 14 to 15.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
So for two years I was doing that. Really? That's a pretty long period of your life to be Robo-tripping. 700 day TUS challenge. Let's see if you can beat it out there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
did they know uh oh yeah for sure i don't think that's something you can hide so i know yeah i talk about that it's got a bad call my hour all the time you can't hide it they would come in my room and i just he's crawling on the ceiling you're trying to have a normal conversation but you talk really slowly too as you're like hey yeah hey you're like can't you're so raspy Hey.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Like Bradley Cooper in A Star is Born. Hey. He's going to look at you again. Get another look at you. I want you one more last look at you. Your mom's like, Casey, what the hell are you talking about? Yeah, I know. I just came here to tell you goodnight.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
No. No, she did not, but he had two daughters, so then I had two stepsisters over there, and then my dad's wife that he married had a stepdaughter, so then that house had a stepdaughter and then two little kids.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yeah. All right. But they my sister. So she is four years older than me. So when I got to high school, she was gone. So then at that time, yeah, it was a lot of going back and forth all the time. And I would get kicked out of their houses like every show that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Oh, just being horrible. Being incorrigible. Yeah, lighting fires. Just being a monster. Just not listening to rules and whatever. So you were a handful as a kid. Oh, I was absolutely awful. Seems like a bit of a handful now.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Crash my car. Turn my phone off and stay places for days at a time. And then they'd be like, hey, man, like you, like what? Like party at a friend's house, turn my phone off. And then eventually he'd be like, all right, you have to leave. And I just have to turn the phone back on. Hey, sorry. And yeah, just was getting drunk and high all the time. Just had a substance abuse problem.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yes. Yeah. I figured that. Yes, absolutely. Where did you stay then? I like at a friend's house. Got my own condo in Boca.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
yeah a friend's house with like a nice family and all that stuff and they were cool to you um yeah sure yeah they were nice well it'd just be random people for a day or two yeah okay all right but yeah when i was 14 they sent me to a rehab for nine months but i ran away i ran away after 10 days
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
nine months that's fucking the whole year and this is for tussin um yeah tuss and pills uh because opioids were really big where i was from how old are you yeah i was 14 i'm 30 now 30 so you're yeah that's the tail end of the opioid i caught the the 2011-2012 the tail end of the purdue farm almost got me I live to fight another day. Talk about big business.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
It wasn't court mandated. My dad was paying for it. Was it a nice one? I guess. It was teenage rehab, so it was just teenagers, and we would just dig stumps all day. It was like spiritual revelation through labor. Sure. Digging stumps sucks. Oh, it was awful, and it was fruitless. It was like martyrs, that French movie, Logic, where it's like, we will break you down to where you are like God. God.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
take me away from this suffering so it was like sleep deprivation we would only sleep like four or five hours a night the fuck kind of we go to passages or something yeah i would have like that's crazy maybe i would have stayed but yeah how'd you get out did you like escape or do you just i ran i ran away so i at night there was a one hour break after like a prayer time yeah
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
There was a prayer time and then there was like I knew it was like a Shawshank thing. I was like, I was like, OK, if I, you know, if I sneak out at this time storm. Yeah, I was like, if if I leave at 910, they won't know I'm gone until 945. And that'll give me time to fucking get some serious mileage. It's only a half an hour.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
No, I was 14, so... I was a little kid. That's so funny.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
Yes. Where did you physically go? It's really, really... That was super rural. That was, like, up in the mountains, and I remember somebody telling me that there was a gas station. Like, they said, you know there's a gas station, like, two miles from here, and I was like,
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Casey Rocket!
yeah where is it though like I was like dropping hints like trying to figure out the location so if I left next Tuesday at 9 10 how would I get there how would I get there exactly they just said take a left and I was like That's quite literally what happened. And I was like, all right, I'll take a left. Bang a left at the stump and keep going. That's nuts. So I snuck out. I took someone's jacket.