The William Montgomery Show
Redban | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 177
Thu, 24 Apr 2025
William Montgomery is back for more stiff riffs! It’s The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket!🎯 Join our Patreon and become a Mercenary, Child Soldier, or Bounty Hunter. YOU choose your path, but watch out for the mole! No one escapes the mole! Plus find out when you can watch LIVE/thewilliammontgomeryshow★ Watch new episodes of The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket on YouTube every Wednesday at 8:30 PM CentralWilliam Montgomery📷 Instagram: /william.f.montgomery1🥃 Cameo: https://www.cameo.com/williammontgomery👕 Merch: https://william-montgomery-town.creator-spring.com/📧 Email: [email protected]☎️ Voicemail: 1 (737) 471-1098Casey Rocket📷 Instagram: /caseyrocket🕸️ Website: http://www.CaseyRocketComedy.com💬 Patreon: /caseyrocket📽️ YouTube: @CaseyRocket👕 Merch: https://rawpaw.ink/search?q=casey+rocket+&options%5Bprefix%5D=last★★★★ The William Montgomery Show on ALL Major Audio Platforms!♦ Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...♦ Spotify Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/6SJj2pP...★ For More William Montgomery and Casey Rocket, check out ‘Kill Tony’ live every Monday at The Comedy Mother Ship in Austin TX and on YouTube: @KillTony★ Original cover art illustration by Ryan J. Ebelt: https://ryanjebelt.com★ Recorded in Austin Texas at Record ATX.★ Send your letters & packages to:♦ P.O. Box 40316 Austin, TX 78704★ The William Montgomery Show is produced by William MontgomeryWilliam F Montgomery is an American stand-up comedian. A native of Memphis Tennessee, William now resides in Austin, Texas. Under the tutelage of a top young rising comedian, Tony Hinchcliffe, & Brian ‘The Podfather’ Redban, William has become a fan favorite & the longest serving Kill Tony Regular. William has performed in front of comedy icons such as Joe Rogan, Whitney Cummings, Russell Peters, Tiffany Haddish, Doug Stanhope, Tim Dillon, Doug Benson, Donnell Rawlings, Jeff Ross, Dane Cook, Tom Segura, Bert Kreischer, Ron White, Ari Shaffir, Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J Gomez, Dan Soder, Jim Gaffigan, Andrew Santino, Dom Irrera, Steve Simone, Brian Holtzman, Sal Vulcano, Ian Edwards, Greg Fitzsimmons, Shane Gillis, Kyle Dunnigan, Ms. Pat, Josh Potter, Mark Normand, Ryan Sickler, Eddie Pepitone, Josh Wolf, Moshe Kasher, Bonnie McFarlane, Steve Lee, Adam Ray, Andrew Shultz, Pauly Shore, Bob Saget, Michael Rapaport & Don Barris. Montgomery has garnered many monikers over the years: The Big Red Machine, The Vanilla Gorilla, The Memphis Madman, The Tennessee Tickler, The Strawberry Twist & The Raisin-Bread Kid. William regularly opens for Joe Rogan in the Austin area. Along with David Lucas, William has previously hosted ‘Brothers in Cursive’ & ‘Are We Really Brothers’. William has appeared on podcast such as ‘Jeremiah Wonders with Jeremiah Watkins’, ‘Unlicensed Therapy with Ari Mannis’, ‘Dead Air with Brian Holtzman’, ‘Shenk with Sara Weinshenk’ & ‘The Fat Pessimist with David Lucas’.
Chapter 1: What is the William Montgomery Show about?
Recorded live in Austin, Texas, USA. It's the William Montgomery Show. Starring William Montgomery and the devious Casey Rockett. With the Tony Chin Orchestra. The William Montgomery Jr. Dancers. As always, William is joined by the lovely Erica. I'm Casey Rockett. And now here he is, the big red machine, the Memphis Strangler, William Montgomery.
We had a dude that painted my parents' house when I was growing up who wore this 3-6 Mafia jacket, and he was brothers with, I think, Juicy J. Oh, I love Juicy J. I know. There was a 3-6 Mafia connection, the guy who was painting my parents' house a gray color.
You know, my house has this weird paint, and it's like a textured paint, and it's kind of like a gray color. Yeah. And it sucks because if you sneeze or you flick water on it, it kind of leaves like a stain forever. What?
That's horrible.
Chapter 2: What challenges come with textured wall paint?
And then if you try to wash it off, then it takes the paint off, the textured paint off. It is the worst paint ever. Oh, my gosh. You can't do anything. So there's like... There's parts where you sneeze and you say, oh, I accidentally sneezed on the wall and it's there forever.
Oh, my gosh.
Is this in all of your rooms of your house? And so like it's it's a nightmare.
What is it?
It's it's like imagine like textured like they take a sponge like that look where they're like going like this all over the wall. But then it's such a light color, like a taupe. That it collects anything and you can't clean it because then it just ruins the wall. Like it just starts flaking off and stuff. And it's throughout the whole entire house.
And I want to get my whole house painted, but that's going to be so much work and money.
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Chapter 3: How to deal with difficult home renovations?
Well, Red Bean, you know what you could do? Have you thought, are we talking about the, in Pflugerville? You know what you could do? And I could help you? I knew you were going to say wallpaper. Oh, my God. Do you like wallpaper? We love wallpaper. You love wallpaper? Wallpaper is so much fun and you have a house, Red Band. Come on, please. At least let's do maybe your upstairs.
Let's find a couple of rooms.
Let's do the kitchen. There's a wonderful Pyrex print wallpaper.
Pirate? Yeah.
I have pirates in my kitchen. Oh, oh. Printed. I see what you're saying.
Like Blackbeard. Like peg legs and stuff. Oh, my gosh.
The containerware. Yeah.
Yeah. So what is it? It's literally just pictures on the wallpaper. It's pictures of the Pyrex containers.
Yeah, all sorts of colors. It's so cute. It would be so cute in your kitchen.
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Chapter 4: What are the funniest travel stories shared?
Oh, my gosh. And then what did he paint over it or put new wallpaper? No, he painted over it. He's like, don't ever do wallpaper, Brian. Look what happened. And he's just in there peeling it off.
Yeah. And it was just like one of those things like peeling off like a sticker when it just like rips a teeny bit and he's just sitting there.
It's just horrible. Yeah. It can take me 20 minutes trying to get the sticker residue off of like one of my magnets that I get. It's like this nightmare. Do you collect magnets? Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh, Red Band, if you saw, I bet you would like our refrigerator.
We'll send you a picture later.
Oh, cool. Yeah, we'll send you a picture. Oh, my gosh, magnets. And on the one side, you'd really like it. It's a bunch of Ohio. I've been to so many places in Ohio. It's a bunch of Ohio representation. Wow.
Do you usually go to the airport to get home? Is that where you usually go?
Yes, go to the airport. And Redbane, I felt horrible. I think it was when I was in Wisconsin. There, in fact, was a magnet, and it was one of the places I hadn't been, so I was so excited. I was like, that's what I'm thinking when I'm going out on a week, and I'm thinking, uh-oh, this is a place I haven't gotten a magnet.
Yeah.
From a store from one of the things I felt bad, but it was like nobody was around. I was there so early and it was just like a kiosk thing in the airport. And like people are around and I'm being so sketchy, like thinking, how am I going to steal this?
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Chapter 5: How does the TSA profile travelers?
I think it was Appleton, Wisconsin. They happen to have a free blood on your hands in Wisconsin.
I know.
I know. I could probably not go back. I probably shouldn't even be saying this out loud. The TSA is going to get on my ass when I go back.
And they do that, too. Now, like when you go to like Canada and stuff, they're like, why are you going to Canada? And people are, you know, just hanging out with some friends. They'll go on your Twitter and go, well, you have a show. So you're lying to us. They actually do that now. They check your social media.
And what, do they have your ass in some sort of back room where they're interrogating your ass, like some CIA black site?
Yeah, it happened to Tony. He had a show, and he, like, you're supposed to do, like, special paperwork in order to work, you know, like if you have a show in Canada and stuff. And back in the day, you know, we didn't have all these managers and crazy stuff. So he said that he was just there to hang out with friends, and they saw that he was advertising a show all weekend in, I think, Vancouver.
And they wouldn't let him in the country. They sent him back. And then every time we went to the airport after that, he would always have to go in the back room and they would like interrogate him and stuff like that. Oh, my gosh.
Why do they care?
I don't know. I think you've got to have money. Like if you're selling merch, I think there's like monetary reasons where they want money of yours or something.
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Chapter 6: What hilarious moments happened at the comedy show?
Grant, did you get that? I think that was on there. That was a good kiss. That was a tongue to lips. Yep, it was. That's how I wake up every morning. Just little kisses. For my littlest girlfriend. Gosh, she was eating hair again because the doo-doo comes out of her butt. And then it doesn't all come out. And then you got to pull it.
But then last time we stopped pulling it because I read it could be surrounding an intestine or something.
Yeah. Did I tell you my story about that? What? I grew up and my cat, this is when I was like 12 years old, and my cat ate a string. And a little string was coming out of its little butt hole. And my mom's like, Brian, you got to pull that out of the cat's asshole. And she made me pull it out of my cat's butt. And luckily, I just grabbed it and it ran. And then it was like.
Was it a bunch of string?
It was like a shoelace, I think, or something like that. It was gross. And it terrified me as a kid. Oh, my gosh.
Why does your mom do it?
I don't know. That's not cool at all. Yeah, my freaking parents used to do the thing, you know, when you're little and your teeth are falling out or whatever, your baby teeth, they would connect a freaking string to the cat's butt or tail or whatever and then tie it to my freaking tooth and then scare the cat.
And the cat would run off and sometimes the tooth wouldn't come out all the way out of my head. Yeah.
Yeah. That was the worst. Like my dad did like the door handle. Did you really? Yeah. And remember how gross it was when you're just going back and forth and you're just trying to get it out and you're like rocking it and stuff like that.
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Chapter 7: What did William do to save a life?
And I can't eat candy bars. It's crazy we've all lost all of our teeth.
Yeah. Some people. Have you lost all your teeth, Grant? You have. No, he's still. He has baby teeth. Most of them. Sometimes people still have baby teeth. And then sometimes, do you have your, what are the teeth in the way back? Wisdom teeth. Do you have your wisdom teeth? I got all of them taken out.
I had five. I got them all taken out.
Yeah, I had some amount. They got those bad boys taken out one summer and I was smoking a bunch of weed and I had to like try to figure out ways where I wasn't directly inhaling it from a pipe, like suck it into my hand and then to the pipe so I didn't get the dry sockets.
Oh, yeah, the dry sockets. You couldn't smoke either after that.
Yeah, you couldn't smoke. I remember getting the syringe thing and after you eat, you do the syringe, you get the nasty food out of the back of your fucking bullshit.
Oh, yeah, they're like big gaping holes. I forget.
Yuck.
Did you guys get them all done at once?
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Chapter 8: What bizarre Reddit threads are discussed?
Did you get your tonsils taken out? I had to. Vance and I got strep throat so much. Me too, like twice a year. We had to get the time. Did you get yours taken out?
No, my doctor wouldn't let me. They were like, we don't do that anymore. Oh, really? Yeah, it's like declawing a cat. No, get out of here.
Oh my gosh.
So I'm going to be self-conscious about it because if you really yell and somebody looks in the back of your throat, they could tell I don't have the two white things back there. Are they white?
Aren't they skin colored?
No, they're not supposed to be white. That's when you have strep throat. Oh, that's how I remember it.
Him being white all the time. Oh, so you don't have those little ball sacks in your... No. Oh, that's weird. Wait, so you can... So you have your... See, I'm self-conscious.
Oh.
God, how many times I had that was so nasty.
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