Joe Rogan, Harland Williams, Adam Ray, Kam Patterson, William Montgomery, Ari Matti, Hans Kim, D Madness, Michael A. Gonzales, Jon Deas, Matthew Muehling, Joe White, Kristie Nova, Yoni, Troy Conrad, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban - RECORDED– 12/30/2024 TONY HINCHCLIFFE @TONYHINCHCLIFE TONYHINCHCLIFFE.COM BRIAN REDBAN @REDBAN DEATHSQUAD.TV SUNSETSTRIPATX.COM Download the PRIZEPICKS app today and use code TONY to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup! https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/TONY Try your first month of BlueChew FREE. Visit https://bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. Go to https://shopify.com/killtony to start selling with Shopify today. Go to https://ziprecruiter.com/killtony right now to try it FOR FREE. Right now, get $50 off your purchase of $500 or more with code TONY at https://bluenile.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the introduction to this Kill Tony episode?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.tv, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything The Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe. You can also check out ShopSquad.tv for Death Squad merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.tv.
And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
This is Redman coming to you live from the H-E-B Center here in Austin, Texas for our brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe! Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives? Yippee! What the fuck is up, HEB Center? Welcome, welcome.
Make some noise for the great Brian Red Band, everybody! What a fucking Monday night delight this is. What's up, everyone? Welcome. How about a hand for the best damn band in the land? Raul Vallejo, Fernando Castillo, Carlos Sosa, Nachos Belgrande. The great Michael Gonzalez, aka Big Mike, on the drums. Joining us tonight, the great and powerful Marcus King on guitar. Unbelievable.
Matt Muehling, also on the electric. John Dees on the keys. And that is indeed the one and only D Madness on the bass guitar, everyone. Holy moly. How exciting is this? How many of you traveled to be here in Austin, Texas today? You know, everybody says it. Everybody says it, but I really mean it.
We have the best damn fans in the world, true fans of real comedy, the backbone of free speech here in the greatest country on planet Earth. Isn't it amazing that we could get together to hear some filthy fucking chaos on a Monday night, sold-out arena, Second annual sold-out arena the night before New Year's Eve. I'm fucking pumped. You guys know how it works.
Before we get it started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible. Tonight's episode is brought to you by the Yellow Rose and the Red Rose. We love them, our longest-standing sponsors here in Austin, Texas. They're somewhere in one of the suites. Shout-out to Jonathan and all of our great friends over there.
And they are having a special deal at the Yellow Rose tonight. If you show them your ticket stub from tonight, no cover charge at the Yellow Rose. How cool is that? So, laughter. fat tits in your face, you get it all. What's better than that? I get that every time I sit next to Red Band. Are you guys ready to start tonight's fucking show or what, huh?
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Chapter 2: Who are the special guests for this episode?
Circumcise that microphone. Hey, America, I finally got a knife from Joe Rogan. Put that on your bingo card and fuck it. Thanks, Joe. Unbelievable. True story, by the way. Joe did cut a hole in the condom.
Fully lubricated microphone for Joe Biden.
It's hard to take them off, yeah. You might want to insert it first. Don't tell me how to live my life.
Where's that blanket? I can throw it to him. Don't think it's a hot air balloon. You're so funny.
So Fiona, what is the update on this new wheelchair? What's your max speed on that thing?
It's actually slower, but it is American made, so... Hell yeah. They'll fix it, so this one can be fixed.
I love it.
I can't, but the, yep.
It's a shame it's slower. If it was faster than your old one, I'd say you could stage dive here tonight, but there's a bit of a barrier there between you and the audience.
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Chapter 3: How did Cam Patterson entertain the audience?
Yeah, just like white gummy bear shot. Yeah.
Imagine her doctor being, what the fuck am I fixing you for?
Well, that's what they said when I took the tube out myself.
Why is your hole infected again? Shots. All the years he spent in medical school, fucking carefully stitching her together.
He walks into the medical room, she's just smoking a cigarette through her fucking stomach. Hey, doc, did my test results come in? Just inhaling through the stomach. Exhaling through the mouth. Jesus Christ almighty.
You ever fart backwards and suck a full hot dog wiener inside?
I can't say I have. I can't say I have.
You will. You will.
One day.
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