Adam Ray
Appearances
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
We have a pitch set up with Tubi, so we'd love to include that.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Yeah, you better be autistic, man. Yeah. How long have you been doing stand-up?
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
All right. You ever fuck up somebody's name on the coffee cup and they freak out?
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
You look like you sold the van to the guy. And you were like, I swear I didn't come in this thing. Right, right. I used to do real estate in New York.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Okay. In 2025, how do you... You don't have a girl, right? But you brought people back to the van. Yeah. How does it... Do you have any trepidations when you're trying to elicit a friend to come back? What's the opening line, I guess?
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Appreciate that. There you go. You also came out with confidence. That's always... Oh, no.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
You came out, you had a game plan that always matters, so good job. Yeah, thank you.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Okay. That's hilarious. And then... By the way, I would love to see you on Family Feud. I'm going to go with... This guy's got an eating disorder. By the way, what's on your pants? Did you paint Red Band's house? What is that? I spilled bleach, okay? Don't bully me.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Let me ask a question. When you smile, it's real warm, but you didn't smile... Well, don't do that. But when you smile... But when you smile organically, it... Yeah, like that. But you didn't smile at all during your set, really, right? I couldn't... No. Is that... What's the... What's the choice to go from...
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Yeah. So your material is always kind of, you like to just, you know, your point of view is to keep it dry.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Thank you very much. I don't even need you to, like, do comedy. You could just, like, read the back of a Cheesecake Factory menu. Thank you.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
I love this fucking show. Dude, good to see you again. And we love you. And my wife, who loves this show, is seeing it live for the first time tonight. Give it up for her. She's fucking here. The very best. We love her. Not gay.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Isn't this the plot of Rush Hour? This is unbelievable. Everything you're saying, I feel like I watched in a movie.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Absolutely incredible. Your delivery and cadence is so goddamn perfect. Everything you say, I feel like it's gonna end with you handing a child a katana. You know what I'm saying? Like, the way that she works with the rum, like, it's got so much, it's so soft but powerful. You know what I'm saying? But it's just facts about your life. Have you always been this calm, cool, and collected? I think so.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Keep it going for Rich Voss. That's a big deal. He let somebody step in.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Adam Ray. First name again? It's... Konsei Yasuda. Konsei Yasuda. I know I've already done this once, but I'm actually going to be in Toronto May 1st through the 3rd at the Comedy Bar. Do you want to host? We need somebody to host all weekend.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Wow. Wow. Yeah. We need a host. I feel like you need a host. You got 10 minutes? Yeah. Yeah.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
What were you saying? I was going over auditions that I wasn't going to book. I was like, Tony, I got two lines as the waiter. Does this sound good? Your food, sir? And Tony was like, you're not going to get it. You should quit and move to Austin. We sucked.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
When do the sunglasses go on? You wear them outdoors yet, or is it just for show?
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Wow. I mean, yeah, you kind of did it. Yeah. Yeah, it was good. How long you been doing that?
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Let's go. Wow. Does it ever come into play or come into, you know? Well, I just use it for Kill Tony now, goddammit.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Yeah, great new bit, Cam. I mean, there's always, every time I see you, always something new. Appreciate you, man.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
When did you know? When did you know you wanted to make the switch?
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Are you always that quick to fuck y'all? Yes. Yeah, yeah. It's a joke, but you kind of mean it, yeah?
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Oh, I think that's what Ted Bundy said. Yeah. Now it's good to do it. Now it works. And you too can use a punchline like that if you take classes at the Rich Voss School of Comedy. Operators are standing by. Classes are $630. They take Venmo and cash. 3 to 3.15 Monday through Tuesday.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Your wife is watching for the first time. Don't fuck this up. Can you do it once as Danny Glover?
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
The Red Band School of Comedy is taking submissions now at the Sunset Strip.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Yo, can I say this? Martin Phillips did a Dr. Phil Live in Las Vegas in January, and he came out first, and the place, 4,100 people went fucking nuts when he came out, dude. He's a superstar. He's a superstar. You're a beast, Martin. You're so goddamn nice and funny, man. He is a superstar.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Yeah. Anytime someone describes shitting as a vast amount of feces. Yeah. Wait, were you wearing, so you got to wear like NBA tearaways next time. Yeah. That'd be nasty.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Wait, wait, wait. You know there was one kid left behind who was like, Mr. Phillips, are you okay?
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Maybe John Cena, if he's having a John Cena lookalike party. That's a compliment. Where do you get your material from?
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Yeah, Ari, where do you work? Do you have a job? What's, do you work at a... Okay, all right. No, do you get recognized?
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
They're like, what's up, player? You know? Yeah, what does your demo lie mostly?
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Looks like the guy who farted at O'Fender. Yeah, I just wanted to say your name again.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
And you too can learn a Martin Phillips impression at the Rich Voss School of Comedy.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
General Montgomery. William, you look like the first guy that claimed he saw Bigfoot. That is true.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
That's a compliment. Wait, what do kids, how old do kids think you are when they meet you? Have you met kids? This is a weird question.
KILL TONY
#712 - ADAM RAY + RICH VOS
Yeah, I don't think people believe me. Have you been around kids, like nieces and nephews? Yeah, I have two little nieces. You strike me as someone that would be good with kids, and I mean that.
KILL TONY
#704 - HEB ARENA NIGHT ONE
Oh, yeah. Here he goes. Legally blind my ass. Wow. Yeah. You want to see legally blind? I'll show you legally blind. Watch this. That's legally blind right there.
KILL TONY
#704 - HEB ARENA NIGHT ONE
Give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe! Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives? Yippee! What the fuck is up, HEB Center? Welcome, welcome.
KILL TONY
#704 - HEB ARENA NIGHT ONE
I got to go to the bathroom. I'll see you guys. I got to go to the bathroom. He's got to go to the bathroom, ladies and gentlemen.
KILL TONY
#704 - HEB ARENA NIGHT ONE
That's right. Surprise, surprise. The 2024 Guest of the Year is Harlan Williams, everybody.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 194: Dr. Phil (Adam Ray)
Sunday's the day for my next bender A bit of Piverec, you know the beer juice close I've had a little too much bourbon And Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope And I get down in the same way Up on the roof like a cop's coming And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way