Ryan Hanley
Appearances
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
It's giving people the firepower to say no to the things that take away the time or take away the energy that they would otherwise spend on the things they do want to do. Is that a good way of framing it?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Yeah, I can hear you good.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Yeah. What I like about that too is it's, The aspirational nature of it allows you to act as if, even if you're not there today. And I've done a bunch of vision statements and different stuff, never structured. I struggle sometimes with having a system and I actually have queued up. When I finish No More Mr. Nice Guy, I'm actually reading your book next, your book's the next book on my table.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Because this is something that I've struggled with is like, I'll write a vision statement down, right? Of something I wanna be, whether it's the entrepreneurial side of my life or this side, the podcasting communication side, or it's in my personal life and I struggle to come back to it or when I'm off of it, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Say I do something that doesn't align with the vision or I make a decision that doesn't align with the vision or I allow a bad habit to creep in that takes me from it, right? There's like this, again, this sense of disconnect or guilt for not living that. And that was a problem for a long time. And about a year ago, I picked up the mantra, Act as if, right? So like, even if I'm off pace, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Like, so maybe, hey, I only wanna bring alcohol into my life no more than one day a week, right? A couple of social drinks with friends, cocktail here. I like an old fashioned as much as any guy. And, you know, but I don't want that to be a daily habit in my life, okay?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
So say, you know, maybe I have a couple of drinks with buddies after, you know, a golfing on a Tuesday and now, and it's like, okay, What would the version of me that I wrote down as a vision statement do? What would that version of me of exactly who I would love to be, what decision would he make? And then I can say to myself, okay, he would say, I'm good. You guys can drink all you want.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
I'm just not gonna have a beer today, right? I'm just, I don't need it, right? And that version of me has no problem saying that. So I'll just act like that guy, even though that guy's not me, right? Like me wants to go, put three Coors lights down and hooted up with my buddies on the golf course. That, that, you know, like the, the version of me right now wants to do that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
But this other version that I wrote down that I'm kind of committed to being to, he would say no. So I'll just act like him. And that has allowed me to come back to like who I want to be, but, but I need more structure to it. Cause I do, I do, I do find, and this is why I'm so interested in reading your book and your processes. I find,
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
For those of us who do sit down and do the vision or even to the goal part, it's the process of coming back to the goals oftentimes and in most systems. And this is where I want you to dive in a little deeper. The question that I'm actually working towards is I find with a lot of the. systems, right? They're so structured that the system becomes a job.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
And all of a sudden you're like, I don't need another job, right? Like I'm trying to use this system to get more time in my life and be better. I don't want that system that's supposed to be helping me bring time in actually cost me all this time on the backend.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
So talk to me a little bit about how you said, cause you, cause you said that you said, you know, it's a, it's structure, but it's not like so rigid, right? Like you, you kind of insinuated that a little bit. So maybe talk through
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
I want to touch on actually the third one. One of the things that I've been getting a lot of questions about lately is I think people are – I think a lot of founders, leaders, owners, et cetera, we'll just refer to them as leaders on the call here. I think the idea that I'm going to work 18 hours a day and grind, grind, grind, and maybe there are moments where you need to do those things, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Chaotic, frustrating, fusing, probably even hot-tempered at times because you get overwhelmed when you run out of energy at the end of the day and problems present themselves. That's it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
But I think people are looking at their lives, even highly super ambitious people, right, are saying to themselves, yeah, and I still want to coach my kids' baseball team. like I'm struggling with maybe guilt feelings, maybe, you know, time management for sure. Um, maybe lack of proper prioritization.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Yep. Dad. Okay. Dad is one. I'd say another one of my roles is CEO of a company, the AI company that I told you about. Perfect. Podcaster, creator, coach, which would be what we're doing right now. Those are probably the top three, I'd say. There are more, I'm sure, but those are probably the top three.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
I also like that you said 1,000 priorities, not 1,000 tasks. Because I will tell you, when I'm going wrong is when I am being my own taskmaster and just checking off tasks that need to get done versus priorities. Those needle-moving things, those activities that push energy forward.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Um, but also these feelings of guilt around taking time for myself and, and building these things in because I have this young business or this growing business that I, that I really want to take to the next level. You know, how do you start to marry maybe explicitly some of the emotions around building personal important
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
back into your life that grow your business that grow your relationship that's you know whatever the the role is if you defined it um and that's something that i've worked very hard on this year uh especially, you know, in the, in the role that I'm in today from a work perspective is, you know, like, am I, should I be the one as the CEO creating the LinkedIn post?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Like, is that something I, is that a task or is it that needs to get done for the business? And just because I can maybe get it done the fastest I do it, or is that a priority that actually in my role in this current company in this moment is that actually moves the needle forward. And it's like those type of mistaking tasks for priorities. And that's why I love what you've built here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
That is such a, I feel like such a common trap that we fall into is prioritizing tasks over priorities.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
items into our schedule along with these incredibly important business priorities that we have?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Rob, this has been an incredible conversation. I know, you know, we've gone pretty deep on this and I have a feeling that a lot of people are going to want to go a lot deeper. So where do they, uh, how do, how do people get into your world besides buying the book? Like, how do they, how do they connect with you? How do they go deeper with your company?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
I know there are a lot of executive teams that listened to the show that could be interested in the training. So like, how do they get deeper into your world? And, guys, any of the links or resources that Rob mentions, just scroll down, whether you're watching on YouTube or listening, wherever you listen, and I'll have the links in there for you. So where do we send them, Rob?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
You know, I think this is one of the most important topics. And even, guys, even if you're not in a leadership role, I know we talked a lot about leadership. You could be 25 just getting started in your career. And as Rob mentioned earlier about the CEO of Cliff Bar's, starting to put a structure like this in place could put you light years ahead of where you would be otherwise.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
And I'll tell you, I'm a Testament because I didn't have any of this growing up. I came from a family and God bless my parents. They showed me a love, but one was a receptionist and one was a mechanic on a railroad. They had no business skills. We were just getting by, you know what I mean? Like if I had a, a pair of sweatpants that didn't have holes in them for school that year.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
That was a victory, right? So like I've learned a lot of these later in life. And I have thoughts sometimes like, like if I'm 44, like the CEO of cliff, but man, if you're listening to this and you're younger in your career, don't pass this off as like, I'll do that when I'm a leader guys, dive into these things right now. And the rewards that you get, I promise you will be exponential.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
So, so how do they take that deep dive into your world, Rob?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
I love it, Rob. I appreciate you. I appreciate your time. This is such an incredibly important topic, especially with all the deluge of stuff we get kind of in this modern age of AI digital era. It's very, very easy to get off track and lose our focus, lose our intentionality. And I love that you use that word. And and I appreciate this. And guys, I highly recommend.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
And I was being very honest, like this, this, this no more Mr. Nice guy has me captured because it's like literally describing my life. And I like have to finish this book. It's so good. But the next one up is this, because this is a place that I struggle with. I do. I struggle with some of this stuff, as I described, and I've tried other systems and missed. But I love the simplicity.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
I love how straightforward it is. And I love how you baked in the ideas of giving yourself grace, right? Like John 319, like grace upon grace. We want to give yourself that ability to... hey, you put these things down. Don't feel like you're a loser if you don't get 100%. You hit 75. You won that week. That's great, right? You hit 60. You won that week.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
And I love that about your work and about the way you speak on it. So I wish you nothing but the best. Open invitation to come back anytime you want, man. I have a million more questions for you. So thank you. And guys, make sure you dig into Rob's world.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
You wrote the book. We're going to start super high level because I know that myself as a founder, current CEO of a startup in the AI space in insurance, property casualty insurance, talked to a lot of founders, talked to a lot of leaders. How the hell do we figure out what actually matters most?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Yeah, there was an interview with Elon Musk about a year ago that circles the web. You can find it if you go on X or Instagram, I'm sure. But where the interviewer is asking him about his life. And he stops the interviewer and says, you don't want my life, right? I think we hold up, you know, here's this guy who's got all these companies.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
You know, he's, you know, whether depending on your viewpoint, you either, you know, see him as a hero or, you know, as a villain. But but he's you have to respect he's living on cots and is, you know, SpaceX because he's building this thing. But he doesn't. he doesn't, you know, he has this very disconnected life from these different women he's been with and his kids and he, you know, whatever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
And, and he literally says like, you don't want this life, like where he's prioritized. If you care about some of these other things, you know, it's not there. And I thought that was a really valid point that kind of follows what you're saying, which is he he's incredibly intentional about what he wants. But that doesn't mean that that's what everyone is supposed to do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Like you're not you know, I mean, he has deprioritized his family to build these companies and to. create these products that are generational companies and generational tools, whether it's the rockets or the cars or all the other technologies built. I don't want to go down the list. And I think it's very important because we hero worship people, yet we wouldn't trade our lives for theirs.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
And I think a lot of people get lost in in setting priorities they think they're supposed to have versus the priorities that they actually want. How do we dig into, and that presents the problem of, okay, what do I actually want out of my life or out of my business? What am I actually trying to do?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
This feels like a minute-by-minute question that oftentimes, especially new founders, new owners are dealing with, but seemingly 25 years into my career, I still deal with it on a daily basis. How do we figure out what are the things that matter the most to us so we can actually focus our time there?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
How do you start to work with people to actually help them determine, like, I think there is a large portion, I don't have a percentage, so this is just feeling, a large portion of people who just simply don't know what they want. Like, they don't, they're not even sure of exactly what matters to them and what they want their life to be.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
It's hard to be intentional about something if you're not sure where you're going.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Yeah. Yeah. You know, I shared with my community in my newsletter, this was about a year ago, Derek Siver's idea, and he came out with this about a decade before, so this is not new, but of hell yes or no, right? And I was talking about this concept of how many decisions, how many things do we say yes to that
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
In just looking at the request, we don't want to do it, but we say yes to it, and then the time for us to do whatever that thing was, the call or the event or whatever, we're miserable. We don't want to go. We're bitching about it the whole way, and then we go, and then we get back, and then we're complaining about the fact, but we said yes to it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
So I was sharing with them this idea of hell yes or no, which I think is incredibly valuable. However, I love what you've done here because this idea of having a vision is what actually – like you don't know what is a hell yes or no if you don't have the vision beforehand to actually be able to pass it through a filter for what the hell yes is.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
And that to me seems like the biggest issue that so many deal with. Like I just – I struggle so much with, and personally, because I have this, and there's a lot of people like, I'm reading a great book right now. I promise there's a question in here, but it's my show, Rob, so I can do whatever I want. No, I'm reading this great book right now called No More Mr. Nice Guy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
So I'm a recovering people pleaser. He calls it nice guy syndrome, where, you know, Exactly. It's exactly opposite of hell. Yes or no. Right. Like everything's like, oh, yes. Right. And then, you know, and no knows. And you're doing it because you feel like that's what you're supposed to do, what you need to do. And and essentially what you're describing. And let me know if I'm wrong.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Overwhelmed to Unstoppable: The System Only 2 % of Leaders Use
Is the filter system that allows you to give a very confident yes or no? Because if the answer is no, you can say, look, I appreciate you. I like you. It's not that I don't want to do the thing you're asking necessarily, but it's not in my vision. It doesn't fit my vision. So I have to say no. And now you have an excuse to do it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous episode for you today. A conversation with Bob King. He's the author of The Joy of Closing. Bob is a lifelong salesman and sales coach as well as
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
I literally don't care because it doesn't, you know, in my head, I wasn't thinking about it in a positive way at the time. In my head, it was, it doesn't matter what I do. I can hit a home run or a double. I'm not going to get more playing time from this guy. So I just don't, I don't give a shit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
I did that. It changed the course of my baseball career. And then the same exact thing happened in my sales career. I had so much fear of getting fired that I was like, I'm just going to call everybody. I'm going to talk to everybody. I'm going to sell everybody. And I don't give a shit what happens because caring almost got me fired.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
And I have built this process over the course of my 20 year career, implemented it in fitness and tech and insurance and consulted clients from a ton of other industries. If inbound leads are part of how you grow your business, then You want to go to masteroftheclothes.com today. Get in the course and learn this system. It is a five-step process. I detail out every line of the script.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Yeah, I actually I want to dig into this because we talked about it a little beforehand when I was explaining some of my background, which is, you know, I adore the insurance industry. And I've said this to people forever. It's the industry that really where I have cut my teeth. It's provided me with a lifestyle I could have never dreamed of. And I have such a deep value for what we do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Yeah, and this is the question I wanted to ask you here because insurance is not unique in this, but it does have this attribute. It is mostly operated by people who are put in sales. It's a sales business, but they come to the industry with more of a service perspective.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
perspective or mentality so for those people that's good that's not bad yeah no that and completely agree i think it's probably easier to go from service to sales mentality than is to go from sales to service mentality but for those individuals you know say in insurance who listen or for in many of the other industries that have a similar dynamic how if you want to if i really want to sell more and maybe i know about myself that i tend to be more of a
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
service oriented person, but I know I need to sell more. How do I start to crack, you know, what, what do I need to do in my mindset or in how I approach my business and my, in the sales side of my operation to, to get myself out of that service mentality into a more sales closing mentality.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
battle-tested script. Every word of this script has been tested over thousands and thousands of inbound leads, leading to a north of 80% close ratio. We had new reps coming into our office that were selling day one 25% to 30% of the qualified leads, and within three months, all of them Every single one was north of 80%, closing eight out of every 10 qualified inbound leads.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Yeah, I agree with you. I have not written a book on sales, but my favorite sales book of all time is actually not a sales book. Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss. I mean, that's.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Yeah. So when you're talking about developing an emotional appeal, is that storytelling?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Yeah. How do you develop those stories? And I've had a lot of people ask me this question. They'll say, you know, there's a there's a guy in my office. He's been doing it for 30 years.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
being the vp of sales for multiple organizations in solar and insurance as well as the cosmetics industries and bob shares his insights into how we can build an emotional journey for our customers whether we're selling b2c or b2b to drive more sales through trust through openness, through connection, through kind of being a closer, not a poser as he puts it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
If inbound leads are part of your sales strategy, if they're part of your growth strategy, do not miss masteroftheclothes.com. You can go there today. Get in the course, learn this material, apply it to your work, teach it to your team. I promise you will sell more business. All right, let's get on to my guest today, the author of The Joy of Closing, Bob King.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Why does that style break down? Because I do think you're right. I think that's a very common way of going about it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
The trust comes from... The stories and that kind of stuff.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
No, I think you're 100% right. I mean, one of the things that it drove me towards was open-ended questions. I had no idea the difference between a closed question and an open question. And I think a lot of times, and even...
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
more systemic issue beyond just discovery questions is those discovery questions are not open-ended it's just like how much revenue do you do what has been your three-year rev you know if it's a sales tool it's you know what has been your three-year reverent revenue trajectory and you know these like very tactical closed-ended and that person's just regurgitating facts back to them
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
I've gotten pushback from sales professionals on the adding value in the discovery portion, and they'll say, well, I don't want to give them the solution to their problem before they've done business with me. How do you overcome that objection from sales professionals where they feel like their solution or their information, they're like a gatekeeper to it?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
all right bob it's tremendous to have you on the show here man you you wrote this incredible book and i'm looking forward to digging into your philosophy i want to start with why are so people bad at selling like naturally like most people naturally like there's those few you know but most people most of us myself included i put myself 100 in this bucket just out of the rip terrible and we have to learn all these lessons what do you think it is about our nature that kind of we have to learn this skill
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Yeah, I'm sure you found this in your career at different times as well, but one of the most high value referral partners I ever had early in my insurance sales career was someone that I told I couldn't, that we shouldn't do business together with. Oh yeah. Worked through their whole process, saw what they had. And when I got to the end, I said,
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
I'm going to give you to this agency down the street because they do this thing as well as anybody. And I don't do it. Like, I just, you know what I mean? I would be doing you a disservice. And there were some other reasons, but it was just a better fit. Referred them over, had a great experience. They sent people to me. Not an agency they ended up doing business with.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
And that came out of a lot of that came out of what you're talking about. These, you know, follow up questions, you know, that the other thing that drives me nuts that salespeople do is they have their their seven things they have to ask or whatever. Right. And they'll ask they'll ask those seven things. but they'll never ask a follow-up question.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
So like, even if you don't have a story to that question that you can apply, you can ask a simple follow-up question just to like validate that you've heard them and that you're not just some robot.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Yeah, curiosity is a good life skill for improving just about your entire life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
So I want to pivot just slightly to, you know, we live in social media, internet world now. When it comes to, you know, I get a lot of questions from sales professionals around building their own personal brand. On social.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Well, I think what the good news is from that comment is that you don't have to have built some dynamic. No, you do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Well, Bob, this has been a tremendous conversation. You've mentioned the website a couple of times, but just share one more time where, and guys, every link that Bob talks about, I will make sure I have in the show notes, whether you're watching on YouTube or wherever you listen, just scroll down or just go direct, obviously. But where can they get the book? Where can they get into your world?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
So as you come out with more stuff there, they know about it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
I love your, and I love that your take is around this idea of commitment in my own sales career. And we talked a little bit about this before we went live. Like I grew up in the insurance industry and the first three years of my career were horrible. In fact, my father-in-law at the time
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
actually fired me I talked him out of it but we I was for a moment before I got down on my knees in front of him in his office begging him not to fire me I was fired by my father-in-law for how bad I was and this is kind of where the question is going it wasn't until I understood the value of the product that I was providing I felt this almost physical like I couldn't even bring my hand to the phone to make a cold call so I
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
How do we develop, if I'm sitting here and I'm chosen sales as a profession and this idea of commitment is like, yeah, maybe I'm not committed to this. How do we start to become committed to the product, service, et cetera, that we're trying to sell our clothes?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
And one idea that really caught me because I do a lot of sales coaching, I've been run my own companies, obviously, which had sales teams as well as being a head of sales for multiple companies. Many sales professionals who struggle, and these are Bob's words, they live in their clients' resistance. They live in their prospects' resistance.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Yeah, I love this concept of.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
They're operating from a place of resistance from the jump, and we need to overcome that mindset in order to improve our closing ratio, make deeper connections with our clients, and ultimately become that 20% of the sales team that sells 80% of the products for our clients. company. Wonderful conversation. Absolutely. You're going to love this one.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
What I remember from that conversation, first and foremost, was the pure terror of going home to my wife. We're now, of course, but going home to my wife and having to explain to her that her dad just fired me because I couldn't. I don't mean to laugh, but that is hilarious. Right. And literally what I said to him was, and probably the best sales line I've ever had in my entire life. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
I'm literally when I see down, I got down on one knee next to his desk. And I said, I said, his name was Jim. I said, Jim, please do not make me go home and tell your little girl that you fired me. You don't want that call. And I don't want that call. So what can we do here? Right? Like that's what I said to him, right? The best sale I've ever had, because he literally said, this isn't working.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
You know, you can have some time to roll off and find something else, but you know, we can't keep you here. And I think what that drove me to do is, um,
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
is two things one i didn't have another choice so this idea of living in their resistance i love this concept living in their resistance like i that's what i was doing right i was imagining all the you closed him on not firing you yes i mean that's really what you did yeah so now i had this high incentive to keep going and and the other thing it did it forced me to dig into the product
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
So I started reading at night policy forms, which is like reading the terms and conditions of whatever product you sell out there, guys. Like this is the terms like 250 pages of, hey, we give you this. Then we take it away when this happens and then we'll give it back to you here. And then but then we'll take it away again if this like I dug in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
And when I started to get and this is, again, why I like this, I this idea that you're talking about of being committed to your product. It wasn't until I felt like I knew exactly what this did for the people that I was selling for them that then I could have a conversation with them, to your point, which actually pulled out some of the emotional stuff.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
And, you know, my question for you, I guess, is, you know, I've dealt both my own selling career. I've run sales teams. I've also done a ton of consulting on sales. And what I find is most people present themselves as value sellers, right? yet actually in practice sell on price. I totally agree.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like once you get below that, whoever usually is the top sales person or sales two or three, everyone below that is going, of course I sell on value, yet they actually sell on price. So, and to me, oftentimes there's a lack of awareness in what they're actually even doing, right? Like all.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
generally there's another idea that i'd love to get your take on here it's a line i use a lot when i'm talking to people and i also i coach my kids sports and stuff i'm very involved there and i use the same concept with them which is detaching from the outcome the the other you know and i use an example of i ended up playing baseball in college but up until my junior year of high school
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
I was not a college worthy baseball player. I was a good baseball player. You know, I'd be, you know, I'd make an all-star team or whatever. Like I was definitely good, but I was never at the top ever. And just an all-star. Yeah. Yeah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
But before we get to Bob, I have a big announcement, a huge announcement for you guys. Master of the Close, my one call close system course, the number one inbound closing system that has ever been created. We close north of 80% of all the qualified leads that came into our business.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
It does not surprise me. Most of Little League is horrendous. It was not for me. I know we're way off topic here, but Mike played basketball during the winter. And, you know, it's funny, at his age at 11, whatever sport he's playing is the sport he wants to play in high school, right? So it's like, it's baseball season, it's baseball, whatever, okay.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
But he came to me the other day and he goes, Dad, you know, I really think I want to play basketball in high school. And I said, well, why is that, bud? And he said, he goes, it's really hard to stay focused playing baseball. And I was like, bro, early on, it's terrible. I get it. Like, no one can throw a strike. No one can actually hit the ball. Half the time, you're just twiddling your thumbs.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
Like, I get it. But coming back to this, right, this idea of detaching from the outcome, it wasn't until my junior year I had my high school baseball coach, like, him and I were like oil and water. I was one from like a town way out in the middle of nowhere that just got sucked into this big district. So there was like a little bit of like other side of the track stuff.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You’re Struggling in Sales, Listen to This! - Bob King
I had a we'll call it a unique style of playing baseball. And and and he but he hated me. And I was always kind of like I had to fight and scrap for every minute of playing time. And then one day I was like, you know what? I don't care. I don't care what happens. I'm just going to go up to bat. I'm going to hit the pitches I can hit. I'm going to run.
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She said, I'm nervous. I said, me too. And then I got this look like, you nervous? And I said, I'm scared. I have big goals for this year. I'm scared that I won't hit them. But you know what? That's good. Fear means I'm alive. Fear means I care. Fear means I'm standing on the edge of something important.
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Kind of took a little break from that for a while. And I'm now back on that train. I've been on it for about a month and things are starting to go well. Kind of getting my numbers back up and whatever. It's all good. But about a year ago, a little more than a year ago, I was probably in the best shape of my life. It's about 195 pounds. I could deadlift 465. I could bench press 275.
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I was ruck walking every day. I had just done 75 hard. Like I was kind of lean and mean and in real good shape. And people look at you differently. They do, and not always in a positive way.
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Now, granted, I just, my brain is broken and I can literally give a rat's ass what people think about me in general, which has been a superpower I didn't realize was a superpower because it hasn't always been a positive. But my point being, people don't always look at you and aren't always happy for you.
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Will I be able to commit to the things I said I was going to commit to? And I wanted to take an episode, a few minutes, this conversation with you, to normalize fear. You are not alone in being scared. You are not alone in being nervous and feeling anxiety and feeling fear, doubt. Those are normal.
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It's not always a positive experience when you're the fit person and you're surrounded by five or six other people who are all 20, 30 pounds overweight. And people don't want that change. They don't want to have to explain to everyone what their fitness regimen is or what they're doing or how they get up at 5 a.m. to get their workout in or how they're counting calories.
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And then people, oh, that's stupid. And I can't do that. I don't want to take that time and blah, blah, blah. And, you know, there's all these stupid conversations that happen when you're getting fit. And it's all a status change. So we don't change. We fear the status change.
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And my friends, if I can push you past this in the next year, this is so much of the work that I do on this podcast, and I hope you're going to be around for this journey. I hope you'll dial in. If you're not subscribed, please do. It's going to be about pushing this idea of breaking through these status barriers. of breaking down the idea that you need to care what other people think.
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And I've explained this before on the show. If you listen to the show on a regular basis, you've heard me talk about this concept. It is not that I don't want you guys to like me. I do. I do want you to like me. But if you don't, it will not change how I feel about myself, how I feel about my relationship with the people in my inner circle, and how I go about my business. It will not change it.
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Won't change my mood. Won't change my emotions. Trust me, I've had plenty of people take full-on hater runs at me. And I just don't care. And those are legit hater runs. Not like, you know, I have some receipts. I'm not going to share them because I'm not going to do that. But like, not like one of these things, oh, there's haters out there. No, I've had people take real runs at me before.
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And whatever, right? I am who I am. Now, I have plenty of other freaking issues, don't get me wrong.
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But this fear of status, with the people that I've consulted with over the last year, with people that I've mentored in my various businesses and throughout the course of my career, with people that have been on my team or in the companies that I've owned, this piece is so vitally important to getting unstuck and becoming the best versions of ourselves. We cannot care what other people think.
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We can want them to like us. We obviously create to add value to others, whether that's the work we do, creation or actual creative projects. But we cannot allow their opinions. I just shared a LinkedIn post with like a meme on it. It was a dollar bill. And what had written on it is your opinion. Don't cut me checks or something like that.
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And like handwriting and black marker, because that's the way that I feel. And in my career, the biggest mistakes that I've made are when I have considered the status associated with a move or an action and played for the status.
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Those are the biggest mistakes that I've ever made in my career were those moments where, well, geez, I can get a country club membership if I take this job because of how much money I'm making and think of the job title. Those were the biggest mistakes that I have made in my life were those moments.
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And looking back on those moments, I'm able to share with you today that if you can remove the fear of status from your life, you will watch doors in your mind open and and energy come flooding back into you. It is fucking incredible. I promise. Okay, I went way longer on that particular section than I had wanted to. But let's talk.
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I want to now move into a section real quick, some myths about fear that we run into because these myths do hold us back. The first myth is that fear means weakness that we kind of we should get past that just logically. If Everyone everywhere has fear regardless of where they are in their life or what status they're in or how much success they've had. They all have fear in some regard.
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And many of them we would consider both publicly and socially strong people. Then fear is not weakness. It's just not. You can't logically put those two things together. Fear is a part of life. Fear and weakness are mutually exclusive items. You should feel fear. Fear is a vector to action. It's not weakness. Bernie Brown has a great quote here.
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Frankly, if you are not feeling those emotions, if the actions you're taking are not causing you tension, fear, nervousness, then you're probably not pushing hard enough. You're probably set in a place of comfort in a kind of doldrums, monotonous-type lifestyle and have succumbed to whatever it is that life now gives you. Because if you're pushing, you're scared. And...
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Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen. Think about Jesus Christ. He experienced fear at the highest level and then acted with the ultimate courage. Myth number two, fear can be eliminated. Again, cannot. Fear cannot be eliminated. You can only accept and move past fear. You cannot eliminate fear. Eliminating fear should not be the goal.
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That is wasted time, wasted energy, wasted brain cycles. Every action you take to try to eliminate fear is a waste. It is not moving you forward. Understand that fear will absolutely be present, that it does not make you weak. Accept that fear and move past it. I try to tell my children when they're feeling fear, particularly in the sports arena around various things, use your fear wisely.
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As positive energy. It's just energy. That fear comes in and you feel it. And you tense up. And you get a little twitchy. And you get tense. And everything gets a little tense. And you get a little slow. And you're butt puckers. And you're nervous. And if you can learn to accept the fear. You can channel it back as positive energy. And it becomes a catalyst to moving even faster.
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Very tough to do, certainly not gonna solve that particular problem on this podcast, but it's out there, right? He who has overcome his fears will be truly free. Not he who has removed his fears, he who has overcome, that's Epictetus, great Stoic philosopher. The third myth, courage is the absence of fear. We've already discussed this. It's not going to happen.
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You will always have fear in your life. It will always be there. You're always gonna be a little scared. You're always gonna be a little anxious. You're always gonna be a little tense. Grow the fuck up and deal with it. Don't pop a pill. Don't drink yourself into oblivion. Don't smoke yourself silly. Accept the fear and channel it into something highly productive.
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That could be spending time with loved ones, showing them love, being present. That could be doing 100 push-ups. It could be running 20 miles. It could be coming back down after everyone's in bed and doing another hour's worth of work to get ahead on your side hustle that you're really interested in. The fear is always going to be there. It's what you choose to do with it.
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Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord, your God, will be with you wherever you go. So how do some of... the most well-respected leaders and thought leaders that we come across, social media, people out there doing things, thinking about these topics daily, how do they handle this idea of fear? Well, we got Goggins, right? Callous your mind, right?
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Be resilient, right? Stay hard. You can mean David Goggins all you want, but he's right, right? The stoic tie-in here is a more... Fatih. Fatih. Amor Fatih. I'm going to mispronounce that. Embrace the challenges life throws at you. Marcus Aurelius, a blazing fire makes flame and brightness out of everything thrown into it. Get after it. Fear is a vector for action.
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That fear is an indicator of where you need to go to become your best self. Brene Brown, vulnerability has a power, right? She addresses leaders in their fear through vulnerability. Recognize that fear of failure is often the fear of being seen. Back to the idea of a fear of status. My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. That's Corinthians.
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Jordan Peterson, face what frightens you incrementally. Break it into smaller, manageable parts. How long are you going to wait before you demand the best of yourself? Epictetus. So here are a few practical strategies for mastering your fear. I want to leave you with this.
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We're going to end on this idea of a few practical strategies for how we address our fear if you're still struggling with it, right? If this episode hasn't completely rewired your brain. I'm assuming it would. Hopefully, however, you got a little juice going. You're feeling a little fire. You're not alone, right? Fear. Fear is a vector for action. Let's go after it, right?
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Hopefully you're feeling good. If you have one particular fear that just eats at you, Write it down and name it. Name the fear. Make it tangible. We can overcome tangible things. Sometimes emotions, they're ethereal. They're shifty. They're tough to grab onto. Make that fear tangible. Give it a name. Then write down everything that would happen if you overcame that fear. Everything.
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What would your life look like if you overcame that fear, that thing, that tangible item, that named emotion? And then write down everything that would happen if you don't. And then weigh the two. What does your life look like if you overcome this fear? What does your life look like if you don't and you acquiesce to it? Which would you rather have? The choice is yours, my friends.
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I don't want you to feel like you're alone in feeling scared. I'm incredibly scared. I wake up scared and fearful every single day. I have enormous projects that I want to get off the ground in 2025 and deliver to this audience and to my insurance community. I have Linkora, which I'm the chief marketing officer of, goes live full market in January of 2025.
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And then take action. Take action. David ran towards Goliath. He didn't run away from him. I find sharing your fears helps a lot with an accountability partner, someone you truly trust. Oftentimes, it's good to share your fears with your spouse, but depending on the nature of your relationship... They may not be the best one for you to get advice back from.
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Oftentimes they know you too deep and they know you too deep as the person that you are today. And it is very helpful in addition to your spouse or your partner that you find a true accountability partner, someone who accepts you for all the crazy shit that makes you who you are, someone that accepts you from all that and still wants to spend time with you.
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Share your feels with that person and take feedback from them. Get advice from them. How would they approach this problem? How would they attack it? What actions would they take? What do they believe the positive outcomes of overcoming this fear are? What do they believe the negative outcomes of overcoming this, of acquiescing to this fear?
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What do they believe the outcomes of acquiescing to this fear are? Which would they prefer? Are better than one because they have a good return for their label. Ecclesiastes. Hopefully, I always mispronounce that one. You guys are probably crushing me in the comments today for all my mispronunciations of these biblical references. I love them. I read them, but I have no idea how to say them.
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All right. And last, I'm going to leave you with this. Right. As far as actions, I've always struggled with the idea of gratitude and gratitude journals. It sounds very like hippy dippy ish and nonsensical. However, I read a really great book. It's called Claim Your Power. And in there, there's a large section on gratitude.
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And one of the things that I took from that it is is it's very when you are grateful for what you have, it is very difficult to be scared about what you don't. when you're grateful for what you have, it is incredibly difficult to be fearful about the things that you don't have. Gratitude is very powerful. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Matthew 6, 34.
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So here's our kind of closing call to action, right? We're going to identify that fear. We're going to commit to accepting it and facing it. We're going to write a list of the outcomes. If we do overcome that fear, we're going to write a list of things. If we do not overcome that fear, we're going to pick which one of those equations we would rather have and make a choice. And push forward.
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Fear is a vector for action. I'll leave you with this final thought. Fear is not a stop sign. Walter Emerson, one of my absolute favorites. What are you afraid? Ralph Waldo Emerson, one of my absolute favorites. What you are afraid to do is a clear indication of the next thing. you need to do. Fear is a vector for action. My friends, 2025 is going to be an incredible year.
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We are not going to let fear keep us from the things that we need to do, from becoming the best version of ourselves, not just for us, but for those we love and love us back. This is the way.
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I'm launching the Master of the Clothes program, the most dynamic, intensive, and effective inbound sales coaching program and course that has ever been created. I just got accepted to do a TED Talk in February, and I am publishing a book with one of my best friends, Chris Paradiso, which comes out end of Q1, early Q2. And we haven't even gotten to June yet.
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And I want to make sure all those things hit because I've been working on all of them for more than a year. And I'm nervous that they're not going to work. I'm nervous that I have too many things going on. I'm nervous that I'm not going to be able to make the time.
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I'm nervous that by having all these things coming to a head at the same time, which I didn't plan, by the way, that I'm not going to be able to give 100% to any single one of them and make it as big as it could possibly be. I'm nervous that I'm gonna put all this effort into a book and no one's gonna read it. I'm nervous that I'm gonna put all this work into a course and that people won't buy it.
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I'm nervous that I'm gonna be part of this team that has trusted me to market their product, to deliver their message, to drive new opportunities, new business into that company, to bring AI to the insurance space, and I'm not gonna be able to make it happen. I wake up every day with that fear. But I also read a lot.
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And the best part about reading is you get to tap into the brain, to the mindset, to the thought process of some of the most dynamic, intelligent, deep thinking individuals, successful individuals who've ever existed. And What I'm going to do is walk you through my argument for why you should be scared, but that it shouldn't stop you from doing what you want to do in 2025.
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And then I paused for a second and I looked at her and I said, what is it that you want out of life? What is up, my friends, and welcome back to the show. Guys, we are on the precipice of 2025. This episode is coming out on New Year's Eve 2024, and this is a time of both excitement, energy for sure, but it also comes with an incredible amount of anxiety, fear, nervousness, tension, because...
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There's this quote from Mark Twain, courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not the absence of fear. And I want us to hold that idea in our brain. You will never not be fearful. you will never not be fearful. Whether you do or do not do, you will be fearful for one reason or another. And our goal in becoming the best versions of ourselves, in finding the peak us,
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is accepting that that fear comes with trying to do great things and mastering it, not letting it become our master. In the Bible, there's a verse, for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. That's Timothy 1.7. You can be a Christian, not be a Christian. You can believe in God, not believe in God. I don't care.
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The Bible is one of the best handbooks for becoming the best versions of ourselves and leading a productive, happy, and love-filled life, a satisfied and fulfilled life that has ever been written, which is why it is still the most widely read book more than 2,000 years after it was created. So you don't have to believe.
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Personally, my belief is, whether you believe or you don't believe, the good part is God believes in you. But I'm not putting that on you. People buck at biblical verses sometimes when I share them on the show because they feel like I'm trying to push Christianity on. That's not the case. I believe in God, that's me. I don't care if you do or you don't. That's your thing.
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And being an American and believing in kind of the pure American values that were created back in 70, 76, one of those core values, not explicitly said, but implied, was you get to live the life you want to live as long as you don't put your shit on someone else. Now, that hasn't always been the case. We haven't always practiced that. But it's one of the implicit values
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core values of this country and it's one of the things that i love about this country so i'm going to share biblical verses with you if you don't like that or it offends you you can stop listening or stop watching right now that's fine but to me whether you believe or don't believe doesn't matter the book itself is a guidebook it is the ultimate book on personal development that has ever been written for god has not given us a spirit of fear meaning we are not naturally fearful
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We're filled with power and with love and with a sound mind. And while fear may exist and we may experience fear, it is not who we are. It is not intrinsic to us. It is an external force placed upon us, which gives us the choice to not give in to it, to not listen to it, to not abide by it. And I think that's incredibly powerful. The Stoics also address fear.
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Fear arises when we focus on external events rather than our own mindset. And we go to the master Stoic, Marcus Aurelius, you have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find your strength. Meaning no matter what happens out in the world, no matter what that item is, no matter what that action is, that event is, that thing that hangs out there that causes you fear,
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You have in your mind the ability to move past it, to accept it, to take it in, and to keep going. You have that ability in your mind. So what is it that holds us back? Why does fear hold us back? What is it that makes it so that fear just becomes so debilitating to us? And really, there's three kind of roots of fear.
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If you dive into the research and not a professional psychologist, those of you who are psychologists, that are professional psychologists or professional armchair psychologists, I would love for you to jump in the comments on YouTube or hit me up on DMs, LinkedIn, Instagram, whatever, and push back on me. But there are three core roots of fear.
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A fear of failure, fear of judgment, and a fear of success. When it comes to a fear of failure, 31% of people avoid big goals because they fear failing. That comes from a career builder study from 2019. 31% of people, basically one out of every three people, don't try for the thing because they're worried they may not hit the thing. So they do nothing. Think about that.
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They don't even set the goal. Because of the created fear, the anticipated fear of not actually hitting that goal. Jordan Peterson has a great quote on this. You're going to pay a price for every bloody thing you do and everything you don't do. You don't get to choose not to pay a price. Meaning...
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Those individuals who allow anticipated fear to keep them from taking on that big thing, they then have a different price placed upon them, which is they don't get to dictate their future, right? They don't get to decide the rules.
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The rules get pressed upon them because if we don't push forward and do great work that separates us and allows us to choose and direct our destiny, our destiny is put upon us by someone else. And I cannot think of something that I would wish even upon my enemy than to have their destiny dictated to them. That sense of being stuck. That sense of being enclosed and captured. Tethered down.
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Anchored. It's devastating. It's depressing. It's overwhelming. Yet... Because we may not hit our big mark, we refuse to even try. I don't know if you guys have ever seen this. There's lots of videos that you can go check out, Instagram or YouTube, whatever. But there's videos of elephants that are in captivity. And I saw a video of an elephant in captivity in Thailand.
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And what they'll do is when the elephant is a baby, they'll tie the elephant to a stake with a chain. And the elephant creates a radius upon which it will walk. And it knows how far the chain will go. And when they reach a certain age...
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They take the chain off and the elephant still will not leave that space because in its brain, it has been tethered so long to that point that it no longer even believes it's possible to move past that point. And this is what we do to ourselves when we allow fear to anchor us to a single point. The second root fear is judgment. What others think paralyzes us.
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Eric Weinstein has a great quote on this. The problem isn't taking risks. It's the fear of people pointing out when we fail. And I'm going to make an argument in a second that kind of doubles into this one. And last, and this is one that people often don't think about or when they're thinking about the idea of fear, is a fear of success. Many of us have a subconscious resistance to
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to the increased responsibilities that come with success. From the stoic perspective, fear is misplaced, focused on the uncontrollable outcomes. Guys, now, I want to dive into the fear of judgment because my TED Talk is actually on this particular point.
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It's all around the fear of status and my belief that we get stuck because of all these different fears and we put labels on them, fear of failure, fear of success, whatever. But ultimately, It all comes back to status. We are fearful of the status change that accompanies a potential outcome.
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What is 2025 gonna bring? We all set these big goals, things we wanna achieve, accomplishments we wanna have, and that's natural and normal. And if we're really shooting for something that stretches who we are, it's impossible for there not to be fear, for us not to be scared about what's going to happen. Will I actually make good on the promises that I made?
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Because, and I've said this before on the show, I do not believe there's such a thing as a fear of failure. I don't think that that's a real thing. I think failure is a word that we put onto an item. It's a label. It's a construct. But it's not real. And here's why.
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How many founder stories, how many success stories, being an athlete, an artist, an entrepreneur, have you heard where it's like failure, failure, failure, failure, failure, huge, enormous success. And then all of a sudden we go back in the record books and we don't call those failures anymore. What do we call them? We call them lessons. So they're all failures.
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Missed business opportunity, went bankrupt, bad business deal, horrible litigation, huge, enormous success. Everyone knows their name and they're worth millions, if not billions of dollars. Now, failure, failure, failure, failure, huge win. And if we go backwards, it's now lesson, lesson, lesson, lesson, lesson. They're no longer failures. They're lessons.
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If we can do that, if it's possible to go back and change those things from failures to lessons, then failure isn't a real thing. What we are really worried about is not being successful. It's not a fear of failure. It's not a fear of going bankrupt. It's not a fear of any of those things. We're scared of the status change that will happen associated with the action itself.
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We are considering taking. If I quit my job and join this startup, what will my golf buddies think? My drinking buddies think? My mom, my dad think? My kids think? My spouse thinks? What will my colleagues think in the industry? They think I'm crazy. They think I've lost it. I couldn't handle the pressure of a corporate job. Or I couldn't hack it. Whatever. Having a midlife crisis.
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If you take on a new hobby or you get sober or you want to get fit, and this is a big one with fitness, a big, big reason that people do not take on and keep with fitness and wellness journeys is because the status change associated with them going from being, you know, dad bod to fit dad over 40 is because they don't want the status change.
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Now you have to tell all your drinking buddies that, hey, I'm not coming out on Friday, guys. Seven beers on a Friday night doesn't get me to where I want to be for my fitness goals. And now your status changes in that group. You know, out on the golf course, everyone else is having a couple beers or a Bloody Mary, and you've said, can't do it. I'll play with you, but I'm not going to drink.
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And now they stop inviting you, or at least you think they'll stop inviting you. That status change keeps us from doing it, right? Frankly, if you're fit in general, but certainly fit over the age of 40, you are the exception, and people do look at you differently. A year ago, I was probably in some of the best shape I've ever been in my life, and I am...
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
It doesn't just mean popping an Adderall pill so that you can bang out a bunch of tasks at work. That is a very shallow way of breaking down focus. Focus means what are you willing to sacrifice to achieve the things to become highly proficient, to create impact in the areas of your life that are the most meaningful to you. And this has been a big problem for me because I consider myself...
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a bit of a, I'm going to use this term, it sounds really douchey, I don't mean it to, a renaissance man. I'm interested in so many different things. I love sales. I love leadership. I love marketing. I'm super interested in product design. I love politics. I find it infinitely engaging and interesting the way these maniacs operate and how politics works. I love economics.
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I'm super interested in what's going on in the universe and you know, just astrophysics stuff. I just love reading about that stuff. I love reading about mindset and personal development.
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I'm so interested in all these different areas, which is wonderful for me, except for the fact that when I allow myself to be distracted by things that I'm interested in versus the things that I can drive true value and impact in my life, I'm less than I could possibly be. It's fun to get into things like conspiracy theories. Another area that I waste way too much frigging time on.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
the lessons, the failures, the obstacles, the challenges, the setbacks, the sunk cost into things that just did not materialize. If I don't reflect on them and make changes in 2025, 2025 will be exactly the same. There's nothing special about 2024. It's a number. It's an arbitrary period of time that we set expectations on. And while It's easy to say, hey, I'm ready to turn the page in 2024.
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I just find conspiracy theories to be so engaging and fun. And, you know, I get a lot of shit from people because I'm so interested in conspiracy theories. But, you know... A lot of conspiracy theories over the last three years have been true. But what does that do for my life?
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
How does that keep me from creating for Finding Peak or developing new product designs and helping build new business development relationships and driving growth in Linkora? Linkora is the company that I'm the chief marketing officer of. And I love the company.
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I love Linkora because I feel like the industry that I'm born in, that I work in, the insurance industry, I feel like I get to be part of delivering this technology, artificial intelligence, to an industry that has given me everything that I have in a way that I believe is going to be useful and secure for that industry that's going to do it in a way that's not going to be a bait and switch.
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I'm not just selling them a product to make some money and bounce out of the industry. I love the insurance industry. I love the people in the insurance industry. I understand the value of the insurance industry. And while I may coach people and I may do keynote presentations and performances outside of the insurance industry around leadership and personal development and topics like that,
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My home is the insurance industry. And if I can be one of the individuals as part of one of the companies, Linkora, who is helping provide and usher in artificial intelligence into that industry in a way that is useful and pragmatic there for the long term, that to me is a major, major value creation, not just for the people who end up using our product, but for me personally.
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I get to wake up in the morning and say, this technology, which is coming on like a tidal wave, I can help insurance agents, insurance carriers, individuals and companies inside that space understand this technology and put it to use and catch that wave and drive their businesses forward. That creates tremendous value for me.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
But if I'm spending two hours listening to a podcast about conspiracy theories, is that really helping move that needle forward? Or is it just providing me some fun, you know, small talk banter at a trade show cocktail hour? These are the kind of decisions that we have to think about. I know a lot of people like to golf. They have all these hobbies, and I think those are great.
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I think we need to have a real discussion with ourselves around, is this hobby that I have, is this thing that I do, is it really adding value to my life? Or is it an escape from the things I'm not doing in the places that I should be doing them? And look, golf's amazing. I love golf. Truth be told, last three years, I haven't really golfed that much. I was growing Rogue Risk.
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Last year, I was, you know, kind of refinding my place in the world post Rogue Risk, building Finding Peak. I joined Glencora. And I don't really have plans to golf too much in 2025 because I'm going to be growing the shit out of Linkora and continuing to build my leadership in sales consulting and coursework and stuff like Master of the Clothes program, which is coming out in January of 2025.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
I want to continue building that thought leadership, that IP, and continue helping people move forward with the content that I create. And those professionally are the two most important goals that I have. And anything that takes me away from them, I have to say no to. That's incredibly difficult for me. I love saying yes to shit.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
I'm always interested in a new startup and our new, you know, I have 14 angel investments that I track and try to help. And those are the kind of things though that take you away from your primary goals. I think too often when things become difficult or mundane, We look for that new thing.
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And every new thing that we take on, if it's not at least tangentially related to the primary goal, to our primary impact, to the primary value that we're trying to create, not only for ourselves, but for whoever it is we serve, it's a distraction. And we have to say no. So in 2025, energy management and focus. And the third idea that I want to share with you at high performers.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
I'm looking forward to 2025. Nothing changes if I don't change. Nothing changes if we don't change. That's scary. Because what it means is nobody's coming to save us. No external force would be a differentiating factor in our success. It's all on us. And while that should scare the absolute shit out of you, it does out of me. It also creates...
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
And again, I've talked to, you know, I've had these people, a lot of these people on the podcast. I had Steve D'Agostino a few episodes ago on the podcast. He coaches some of the highest performing basketball players that have ever come out of the greater Albany area. There's multiple pros.
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We have multiple dozens of division one athletes and all of them have come through his, his basketball coaching program. He coaches for the national junior U.S. basketball team. He coaches incredibly high-performing basketball players. I've had, just recently... Adrian Kaler, he works with some of the most successful leaders in the entire country.
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Fortune 100, Fortune 500, entrepreneurial endeavors, high, high performers, alphas, up into the right Ds, right? Ds are people who drive, who drive results. If you just go back in the podcast, you'll hear over and over and over again, high performers think big. If you've set a goal for yourself, Is it a big goal or a small goal?
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Are you setting a goal that's reachable so you can feel good about yourself at the end of the year? Are you setting a goal so fucking big and audacious that there's no freaking chance you're going to hit it? There's no chance. I think we honestly have to ask ourselves that. We set all these goals. Oh, I'd love to have this happen this year. What do you mean love to have?
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What's the biggest, baddest thing that you could possibly do this year?
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And in talking through the podcast to all these amazing thought leaders, all these amazing high performers, all these amazing high performance coaches, you don't think small. High performers don't think small. One of my core issues in life is I tend to think small. It's the way I was raised. I was raised by two parents. One was a union guy. One was a receptionist for a large company.
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What they taught me was go get the big safe job. Go work for the company. No risk. Don't have big downside. Don't take chances. Because that's what they knew. That's how they survived. And I love my parents for living that life and getting us through that. But I don't believe that's what God intended me for.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
Yet, I'm constantly battling that voice in the back of my head that says, there's no one there for you. If you fail, you're going to fall on your face. Everyone's going to laugh at you. You're not going to have any money. You're going to lose your house. That voice is constantly in my head. So if you have that voice, don't think you're alone. You're not. Everyone has that voice.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
You know what the difference is between the high performers and those of us who continue to wallow in a place that we don't love? They don't let that voice keep them from setting enormous goals and then doing the things necessary to reach them. It doesn't mean you're ever going to get there. But you got no shot if you don't shoot up. Jordan Peterson said this. Aim high. Aim high.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
I watched an entire keynote that he did on aiming high. It's the only chance we have. It's the only chance we have. And in every moment of my career where I have achieved incredible performances. It has been in the moments where I gave myself permission to aim high. I didn't give into the fear. I didn't give into the naysayers. I didn't give into the people that told me it wouldn't happen.
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I didn't give into the people who said, you shouldn't do that. Who are you? Why would you think that you're ever capable of that? I didn't give into them. And I pushed through it. Why? What are we doing here? If we're just getting by, what are we doing here? What are we doing here if we're just getting by? What fun is that?
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
If you don't believe me, read the book by Dr. Benjamin Hardy, 10X is Easier than 2X. In that book, he outlines the case for what I have just made in which he says 10X goals are easier than 2X goals. And the reason is because if you set a 2X goal, say your goal was to write $100,000 in business in 2025. That's your goal. Well, there's a thousand ways to do that.
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Now make your goal a million dollars in business. You're a salesperson, you're going to write a million dollars in business. How do you get to a million? There's only one, maybe two ways to get there. What does that do? It immediately narrows your focus. Someone asks you to do something? No, that doesn't get me to my 10X goal. I need you to help me with this project. I'm sorry.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
That doesn't get me to my 10X goal. You want to wake up every day and have the energy to do the things necessary to get your 10X goal? You have to manage your energy. You have to be, you can't be hung over. You can't be sleepy. You can't be tired. You want to hit that 10X goal? You have to be supremely focused.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
If you want 2025 to be the best year you've ever had, if you want 2025 to be a year that you get to the end of and you're proud of, that you're sitting around the Thanksgiving table
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or whatever holiday you celebrate, Hanukkah, Christmas, whatever it is, you're at that New Year's Eve party and you want to sit there with a smile on your face, proud of 2025, manage your energy, dial your focus, and set big, hairy, audacious goals and then go fucking get them. Why not be a complete badass? Why not be a complete badass? Why have a dad bod?
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infinite opportunity because you control your destiny just as I do. We all control our destinies in a way that is so profound, so amazing that with even small tweaks, with even small changes in habits, in routine, in focus, in energy, and what we give our time to, we can make massive, massive changes massive improvements in our life.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
Why be someone who spends hours scrolling social media? Why be someone who is always told what they have to do instead of the one who gets to choose what they want to do? I can't think of a better definition of health than standing next to St. Peter, looking at the version of myself that I was supposed to be. And realizing that I didn't go 100% for it. Guys, I'm going to get it in 2025.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
And I hope you're along for the ride. Because 2025 is going to be a wild year. And I know there's going to be setbacks. And I know there's going to be challenges. I know there's going to be obstacles. And I know there's going to be stuff that happens that I wish didn't happen. But I'm going to fucking plow through those things. Because I don't want another 2024.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
I let a lot of doubt and fear, frustration leak into my life. And those are things that I got to deal with. But what it did was wake me up to who I could be, to what I want to be, and the things I need to do to get there. I love you for listening to this show. Guys, if there's anything I can do, reach out. Ryan at findingpeak.com. Send me an email, DM me, LinkedIn, Instagram.
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I'm always here for you. I'm going to be sharing my journey. I'm going to be sharing the things that I do, the things that I learn, as well as growing Linkora, as well as growing Finding Peak. I'm those channels. If you want to be part of those journeys, please follow along. Reach out. I'm always here to help. I love you. I'm out of here. Peace.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
I think, you know, not to get too philosophical, most of you know that I'm a Christian. I believe, I've shared this story in the past with you guys. About six months ago, this was over the summer of 2024, My son, who my kids go to a Catholic school, my older son has gotten very much into the religion aspect, right? I won't say he's like ready to go be an altar boy or anything. Probably won't be.
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actually on a long drive and I've been thinking a lot about 2025. I've been talking to a lot of people about their goals. I've been talking to a lot of people who either are or work with high performers about what makes those high performers special. How do they separate themselves? How do they reach their
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However, he has a lot of questions and he's very into it. And I think that's wonderful. He asked me, Dad, do you think that hell is really a fiery place below the ground? And I said, no, I do not. Regardless of what hell is, here's how I visualize it. I believe that at birth, God gives us the ability to be our max potential.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
He gives us a max potential, a max upside, what we're capable of and the impact that we're able to have on the world, the love, the positivity, the energy, the creativity that we're able to bring to the world. He gives us this max ability. And when we die, we are presented with that version of ourselves. And heaven... is when we're proud of how close we are.
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And hell is when we're shameful of how close we are. And that is a driving force in my life because what I think it says to us is it's all there for the taking. Maybe you grew up like me in a small, tiny town that was going nowhere with parents who loved me and did the best they could, but they didn't have a lot of resources. I didn't grow up with resources. I had to put myself through college.
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I had to go get scholarships. There was no expectation for me going to college. Zero. Zero expectation from my parents that I would go to college. The day that I came home from school and said, Mom, I want to go to college. I'm going to start applying. Her response was great. And that's not a knock on my mother. I have a tremendous mother. Wonderful.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
But there was zero expectation because we didn't have any money. She wasn't sending me to college. She loved that I wanted to go, but she was doing the best she could. She's a receptionist. My parents were divorced. My dad had his own problems. And we did the best we could. My point in sharing that with you is it doesn't matter where you start. You could have horrible parents.
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You could have all the money in the world. You could have somewhere in between. You could have everything given to you. You could have nothing given to you. None of that matters because you're given a max potential by God and our goal in life, the reason that we're here, is to do the best we can to meet that goal.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
That's essentially, I'm maybe expanding upon my answer to my kid, but that's essentially what I believe, why we're here. People ask, why are we here? My belief is just because it creates a construct for me that I can work towards, right? Even if that's not exactly the way it is, obviously I have no idea. It gives me a construct and permission to,
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To do everything in my power to be the best version of myself that I can be. And I miss on that constantly, guys. I'm not trying to sit here on some ivory throne and tell you that I'm living some maxed out life and you need to do everything I do. That's not the case. I struggle with the same doubts and fears and shame and regret and all the things constantly.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
But what I hold in my heart and how I get through those moments is this idea that it is me and only me that has the ability to make the decisions, to make the choices, to make the changes necessary to become the person that God intended me to be, to become that max version of myself. In all these conversations that I've had,
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Their goals, how do they reach the highest levels of whatever field they're in, whatever their expertise is in, whatever their practice is in? How do they get there? And so many others don't. What is that separating feature? I've also been thinking about how am I going to set up 2025 in a way that when I get done, I'm proud. 2024 was a very tough year for me personally. I flailed.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
with individuals that either work with or are high performers, there's been a few things, a few key items, a few factors that have been consistent. This has just been burning a hole in my head and it's probably not the best audio quality. I don't care. I had to get this message out to you. These factors are simple, straightforward, and they're 100% in your control.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
If you want 2025 to be more productive, more impactful, a year filled with more energy, more excitement, more intrigue than 2024, than you ever, than you thought was possible, right? We always want to make the next year the best year we've ever had. And we should, we should always want that. There's a few things. The first is the cultivation of our own energy.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
And what I mean by that is, how I frame that idea is like this. For the last six months, I've been wearing a whoop strap. A whoop strap is a bio-tracking device. I wear it as a, like it's like a wristband. And it tracks your sleep, your recovery. You can track your activity, your strain, et cetera on that. What I really wanted to track was sleep and recovery.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
I wanted to figure out what were the things that I was doing in my life that kept me from waking up every day with maximum energy. And the things that I found were not things that were outlandish, but were very profound. First and foremost... I can have no more than one drink in an evening or my sleep goes to shit.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
On this app, you want to be 80% recovery or above to be in that kind of max energy zone. Now, if you wake up in the 90s, man, you can feel it, right? Now, obviously, the app is just reporting back to you the way you know you feel. But when that app shows 93, 95, 98% recovery, you feel like you can take on the world. You feel like you're running through a brick wall.
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Even at 43 years old, you feel like you're in your 20s. You're like ready to freaking go. 80 or above, you feel good. It's all good. You're crushing your debt. But if you wake up and that app says 50, 60% recovery or less, man, you're dragging. You're dragging. You're pushing for that extra cup of coffee. You're wishing for a moment to take a little power nap.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
You can't wait to check out for the day. And I'm a pretty generally day-to-day motivated dude. Most days, I'm willing to get after it. I rarely wake up and just want to be a freaking bum. But, man, I just found that certain things, like not getting enough sleep. Those of you who are sitting out there going, I can perform on six hours of sleep. No, you can't. No, you can't.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
There are a very small portion of the population very small portion of the population who can operate effectively off a minimum amount of sleep. I know we all hear Jocko Willink and other guys that tend to be in the military who've trained themselves to work on that amount of sleep. I promise you they're not going off three hours of sleep every day.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
Now, on days when they only get three hours of sleep, What they're willing to do because of their training and the willpower they've developed and the routines and habits that they do not negotiate with, they're able to push through three hours of sleep. But they're human beings. They're not living off three hours of sleep.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
And you're not living off six hours of sleep and being the best version of yourself. You're absolutely not. Seven plus hours of sleep minimum for max recovery. Seven plus hours minimum. Inside of that recovery time, we need to make sure we're doing the right things. So as I said, if I have more than one drink of alcohol, one drink a night, I'm not recovering well.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
And even with one drink, I'm not getting into the 90s. It's not going to happen. Alcohol just destroys your sleep. Now, for those of you that are pot smokers, right? You smoke pot, maybe you wind down at the end of the night. Some people are okay talking about it. Some aren't, right? I have tested using pot as a way to kind of land the ship at the end of the day.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
In 2023, I was diagnosed with hyperactive bipolar. So I'm essentially switching between hypermanic and manic all day long, which is one of the reasons why I naturally have a lot of energy and motivation. Another reason why I talk so fast. So inside of that, I get to the end of some days and I'm like jacked out of my mind and it's 8.30, 9 o'clock at night and I can't calm down.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
And I've tested using pot as a way to kind of pull myself in. And it does that. It works incredibly well as a tool to calm my mind, narrow my focus, settle my body down. Problem is, I sleep like shit. I never drop into deep sleep. And even if I get seven hours of sleep, I'm getting 60% recovery. Max, max.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
I tried a lot of different things. I spent money on different projects. I invested time, resources, energy into projects that went nowhere. I came out of 2024 with a much deeper perspective on what success looks like for me personally. And as much as I'll be honest with you, I'm ready for 2024 to be over. Nothing's going to be different in 2025 if I don't make changes. If I don't take...
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
So all of you out there who are smoking pot and saying, oh, I work better, it gives me focus or whatever, that's all great. And maybe in small doses in the right situations, managed properly, it can help you as a tool. I don't think most of you are using it for that way. Most of us are using it that way. I think it's very easy to abuse.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
Just know that you're essentially burning the candle on the other end. So while it may help you in some regards while you're awake, it is not helping you when you sleep. And then you're waking up and you're not recovered. And now you get into your day again and you're groggy again and your willpower is low. And you start negotiating with yourself, right?
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
You start saying, ah, I'm going to skip the gym today. Or, you know, I really need to have that tough conversation with my employee, but I'm going to skip that. Another one is exercise. If I work out strenuously for 45 minutes, I sleep better at night. You've used your body. You've pressed your body.
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3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
Now, there was a recent study that came out that showed when you contract your muscles, when you contract your muscles, they release a protein that calms your body. removes depression. And we've known that for a while.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
We've known why that it happens, that depression, anxiety, stress, fear, all of these negatively oriented emotions and ideas that float around in our head, that when we exercise strenuously, either cardio or weightlifting, that it calms our body, it removes those negative emotions from our body. We didn't know why. It's because
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
When we contract our muscles, our bodies release a protein which attaches to the chemicals in our body that create those negative emotions and it flushes them out of the system. Those negative emotions are oftentimes what keeps us into dropping into high recovery sleep. I'm going to end there because I could go on for another hour talking about recovery, but managing your energy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
If you want 2025 to be the best year of your life, I'm sorry, you have to take your energy level seriously. I'm not talking about exercise. I'm not specifically talking about diet. I think you have to figure out what that means for you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
But if you're waking up every day on five to six hours sleep, a little hungover, or you smoked some pot, or you didn't work out, you just sat in front of your computer and then watched TV and went to bed, and you're not recovered at the end of the day, that next day when you wake up, you're gonna be right back in the same situation. You're not gonna be able to get after it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
And when you're making, if you're a salesperson, maybe you're only making tenfold calls and then negotiating yourselves out of the 50 that you told yourself you would make. Or if you have a creative project you have to put together, you do 10 minutes worth of work and then you say, ah, my brain's not working today, I'll put this off to tomorrow.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
Or those just jobs, tasks you need to get around your house, folding the laundry, whatever you got to do with your kids. Maybe instead of being present with your kids and playing a board game or doing something with them, you decide to scroll on your phone and let them sit on their tablets because you don't have the energy to be there with them. And it's not because you're fucking old.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ideas to Change Your Life in 2025
It's because you're not managing your energy. You're not managing your energy. So for 2025, a big focus of mine is going to be energy management. The second is focus. What you focus on is who you are. What you focus on is who you are. The highest performers, they are constantly managing their energy levels and they are ruthlessly focused. So what does focus mean?
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How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
I've seen and experienced things. Maybe, just maybe, I do have something to offer you. Receipts don't lie. Remind yourself of how fucking awesome you are. Step three, reconnect with your mission. Your value isn't about appearing perfect. It's about creating change, value, and growth. When you align with your purpose, the fear of status takes a backseat to the work that matters.
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How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
There is no perfect. There's no perfect. You're never going to achieve perfect. Perfect and our perfectionism that comes along with our pursuit of perfect is a tool of the resistance. There's an Emerson quote. The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you lived and lived well.
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How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
It was this dull, nagging sensation. This tiny voice in the back of my mind whispering on repeat, why would they care? What have you done? And honestly, the voice had a point. I'm not Tony Robbins. I haven't inspired tens of millions of people. I'm not Elon Musk. I haven't invented something that's changed the course of humanity.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
True fulfillment arises from dedicating yourself to meaningful actions and contributions rather than pursuing your own personal happiness and external validation status. When you're aligned with your purpose, which is a whole nother podcast, we're not going down that path right now. You stop giving a shit about what the resistance has to say.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
If you are reframing what the resistance has to say, if you own your receipts and the successes that you have and you're aligned with your mission, the voice has no room to speak. Imposter syndrome has nothing to say. There's nothing to poke at. There's nothing to prod at. And while you may hear remnants of it in the back of your mind, you no longer give a shit. What the resistance says.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Imposter syndrome is trying to do is protect you from a loss of status. The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it. Mark Manson, subtle art of not giving a fuck. Incredible book. Fear of losing status can prevent you from embracing the challenges. That lead to growth. And when you recognize this, it helps you confront the resistance.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Imposter syndrome is going to whisper, what if they stop respecting me? The resistance pushes you to ruminate on things you can't control and particularly sinister status. You can't control what someone thinks about you. In fact, you have no idea what the vast majority of people in your life think about you. You never will, no matter what they say.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Someone could shower you with praise and secretly despise you. Someone else could constantly question your every move and inside respect the hell out of you. Focus on what you can control. Mark Manson again. The key to a good life is not giving a fuck about more. It's giving a fuck about less. Giving a fuck about only what is true and immediate and important.
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How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Prioritizing what truly matters diminishes the fear of losing status and redirects focus to meaningful endeavors, the shit that matters to us. So here's a quick daily practice to get you started on giving. Removing the resistance as a barrier to you doing the shit that matters in your life. It's quick. Two minutes. Two minutes. As often as you possibly can.
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How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
I'd love to say every night, but I don't do it every night. So that would be a little hypocritical of me to push that on you. As often as you possibly can. Take two minutes and just write down the good shit that you did that day. Doesn't matter big or small. Could be sales call that went well. It could be not reacting to an unjustified criticism.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
It could be slowing down and being present with your kids. Whether you believe it or not, you're fucking awesome. And the only person who needs to believe that is you. Because if you don't believe it, no one else will. Don't sweat the small stuff. Yeah, yeah, that's good advice. But celebrate the small wins.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Celebrating small wins builds momentum, and the compounding effect of celebrating even your small wins rewires your brain to focus on the evidence of your competence of how fucking amazing you are. The resistance may always be there, but you don't have to believe it. Imposter syndrome doesn't mean you're failing. It means you're growing. Imposter syndrome.
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How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
I haven't sold a company for nine figures, won a Super Bowl, or written a New York Times bestseller. That voice would say, you haven't done anything. No one cares. And for years, I believed it. But then I started reading.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
I have this little wooden statue over my right shoulder here if you're watching on YouTube. It has the letters GNF. It's carved. Letters GNF carved in wood. It stands for give no fucks. A listener made it for me, which is amazing. Thank you. It's a constant reminder of That this is my life. I determine my value. I encourage you to GNF in your own life.
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How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
And if you agree, comment GNF on YouTube or leave a review and comment GNF on iTunes or Spotify. Share your story. Guys, I read every comment, every review. I read them all and I appreciate the hell out of them. But I want to know, does this resonate with you? Right? I put time into creating these ideas, these thoughts, these stories, and I want to know, like, does this resonate with you?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Do these steps, can these steps help you get past imposter syndrome? If you try these steps and they don't work, I want to know. They worked for me. I have a good feeling they'll work for you. I hope they work for you. I believe that they will work for you because you are not that voice in your head. That voice doesn't care about you. It cares about itself.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Now, go be your crazy, weird, amazing self and tell the resistance to fuck off. This is the way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Back in 2017, when I started my personal development journey, when I decided that I didn't want to just be a slob with a dad bod who got by and hoped that something good would luckily fall into my lap and I'd be this mysterious success that I wasn't actually working towards. And I tried to put a number to how many books I've read in the last, whatever that is, eight years. It's well over 200.
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How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
But it wasn't until I picked up Steven Pressfield's book, The War of Art, that I realized that The Voice was real. And that it had a name. The Resistance. Pressfield writes, resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work. It will perjure. It will falsify. It will tell you you're not ready. You're not good enough. The resistance will stop at nothing to keep you from succeeding.
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How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
That's when it hit me because I realized. The voice in my head that was telling me I wasn't good enough wasn't trying to protect me. It was trying to protect itself. It was trying to keep me small. Because when we go for big things, danger is inevitable. It wasn't until I read Michael Singer's book, The Untethered Soul, that I discovered that the voice wasn't me. It was just a voice.
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How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
In the jungle, the elephant is the biggest. The giraffe is the tallest. The fox is the wisest. The cheetah is the fastest. Yet the lion is the king of the jungle, even without any of these qualities. Why? Because the lion is courageous, is bold, walks with confidence, dares anything, and is never afraid. The lion believes it is unstoppable. The lion is a risk taker.
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How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Singer says, there is nothing more important to true growth than realizing you are not the voice in your head. You are the one that hears it. And that was a game changer, and I highly recommend The Untethered Soul to anyone who hasn't picked up that book. Realizing and understanding that the voice in my head wasn't me changed the game. I became aware of it. I became aware of its intentions.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
And if I wasn't the voice, I didn't have to believe it. It wasn't until I read The Courage to be Disliked that I learned that the voice didn't matter. It had no power unless I gave it power. There's this line in the book that sticks with me. The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
When you have gained that courage, your relationships will all at once change into things of lightness. I realized that the voice in my head, the resistance, was rooted in fear, fear of being judged, of losing status, of not being enough. But if that fear didn't matter, then I could change my perspective. What if I could lead, create, and speak in even if that voice was still there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
The lion believes any animal is food for him. The lion believes any opportunity is worth giving a trial and never lets it slip from its hands. So, you don't need to be the fastest. You don't need to be the wisest. You don't need to be the smartest. You don't need to be the most brilliant. All you need is courage. All you need is the will to try.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
In fact, that's what the greats do. The greats act in spite of their fear. So if you've ever felt like you don't belong, like your accomplishments aren't enough and that you're faking it, know this, you are not alone, my friends. And you don't have to stay stuck.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Today, I'm going to walk you through the exact steps, process, mental models, whatever you want to call them, that I've used and continue to use to become that person that I know I can be, even if right now it's in the brief instances between when that voice speaks, those moments where you're like, I can be more, and then that voice knocks you down. I'm going to teach you. My process. Use it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Don't use it. I hope it helps. I'm going to teach you my process for overcoming the resistance. Before we get into the exact steps, I want to just briefly talk about why imposter syndrome and the resistance exist in the first place. Imposter syndrome thrives when we aim high. This is Jordan Peterson's work. Aim up high. The more you achieve, the more you fear being found out. I don't deserve this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
I didn't earn this. I'm not worthy. Why should they care? I'm not good enough. Regardless of where you sit on a hierarchy, those feelings will always be there. It's not a sign of failure. It's not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you are pushing your boundaries, that you are putting yourself into a new space, that you are growing. But there's a part of imposter syndrome and the resistance that
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
that we don't often talk about. And it's something that I spend a lot of my time on in my work in personal development talking about. I have a TEDx talk coming out in February of 2025 on this topic. A big part of imposter syndrome, it's not about our lack of skill or talent or achievement. It's about status. And our fear of losing status. We are wired to fear losing our position in the tribe.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
And this goes back to when we were in groups of 20, 50, 150. Our place in the tribe mattered. And we didn't want to lose that place. And when we sit in leadership positions or we try to stretch ourselves by writing a book or stepping on stage or inventing a new product or starting a new company, Those positions magnify this because we feel the weight of being seen.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Anytime we step out front, immediately eyes are on us and we feel judged. And we understand that stepping out onto that ledge, becoming that leader, taking that chance creates the possibility of being dethroned, of losing our place in the hierarchy of whatever community matters to us. The imposter syndrome whispers, what if they stop respecting me?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
And this fear is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup, where status and recognition play very crucial roles. Studies have shown that individuals experiencing imposter syndrome attribute their success to external factors, things they cannot control, and they live in constant fear of being exposed as less competent. which is closely tied to concerns about losing status and respect.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Dr. Jessamy Hibbard, a clinical psychologist and best-selling author of The Imposter Cure, writes, at the core of imposter syndrome is a fear of not being good enough. This might not be there all the time. There are moments. It's intermittent, but when it comes on, it comes on strong, especially if we still believe that that voice is us and that we are supposed to listen to it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
All you need is the faith to believe it is possible. All you need is to believe in yourself that you can do it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
But when it occurs, you seriously doubt yourself and your capabilities and feel incredibly insecure. This insecurity is linked to our fear of losing status and respect in our professional and personal lives. Guys, every podcast that I create and publish, I worry that you're going to listen to it and fucking hate me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
that you're going to stop listening because I said something wrong or I took a stance that you didn't like or you don't like how much I curse or the way that I talk or the fact that for a lot of these episodes, I put down a ton of notes and I don't look at the camera. I don't know. This is my style. I'm trying to deliver value to you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
And every time I do it, I worry that you're not going to want to show up anymore. But I've learned over time that the only way to find out if that's true is by hitting publish. So let's talk about how I have gotten and feel comfortable saying the ability to control the resistance and imposter syndrome and ultimately a fear of status in my life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Now, I will say, and I've said this on previous episodes, I was born with some sort of break in my brain some sort of malfunction in my brain in which i've never really cared what people think about me i want you to like me but if you don't like me i don't really care some of that came out of necessity where i was you know where i was born how i was raised i grew up in It was survival.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Like I just wanted to get the fuck out of there. And if I cared what these other people thought of me, people who I did not want to live their lives, I did not want to live the lives that they'd been living for generations. I wanted to change and I wanted to become more and I never wanted to go back to that place. Like, I just couldn't care what they thought.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Like, if I cared what they thought, I'd still be there. And that was the last thing that I wanted. Some of this has always been inside me. However, that has never stopped the resistance from shouting into my ear that you're not good enough, that no one cares, that you haven't done enough to be worthy of attention.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
What I'm going to give you now is my three-step framework for overcoming imposter syndrome. Step number one, we have to reframe the inner critic. And we talked a little bit about the three books earlier. Instead of thinking, I don't belong, ask yourself. What value am I bringing? Your inner critic isn't your enemy. It's oftentimes a misguided coach. It's a redirection of energy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
There's a quote from Ryan Holiday in The Obstacle is the Way. The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve your condition. Now, what I take from Ryan Holiday's work and experience
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Ryan's an amazing author and his work in stoicism is incredible and life-changing in many ways if you really take it in and practice it, is that that inner critic, that imposter syndrome, that resistance, it gets the loudest for the things that are the most important in our life, which means when the volume gets turned up on the resistance, when that imposter syndrome is just banging that drum,
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
It's a good sign you're pointing in the right direction, right? You are not the voice in your head. Fear is a vector to action. If the voice, the resistance, if it's telling you no, that's a good indicator you're on the right path. Not the easy path, but the right path. Step number one is reframe your inner critic as a guide. When it's just low level, maybe you're doing some cool shit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
That was sent to me by my very good friend and co-author of The Civilized Savage, Chris Paradiso. And I wanted to start our time together today with that thought as we lead into our topic that we're going to address, imposter syndrome. For most of my life, I've struggled with imposter syndrome. I wouldn't have called it that back then, but honestly, I didn't even have a name for the feeling.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
But when that volume gets turned up and the drum gets banged and you can't hear anything else, then this isn't going to work. Everyone's going to hate you and your life is going to be ruined. There's a decent chance, as long as you're doing something positive, that you're on the right path, that that's the thing you're supposed to do. You're supposed to write that book.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
You're supposed to take that speaking gig. You should take that job. You should start that company. You should go coach that team, whatever the thing is. that you're so worried about, that you're not good enough to do, when the volume gets turned up on the resistance, it's a good sign you're meant to do that thing. Reframe what that critic is. Forget about what they're saying.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Listen to the direction they're pointing you in. Fear is a vector for action. All right, step number two, we have to collect receipts. So we've reframed what that critic is. That critic, we don't care what they're saying. We're just kind of listening to what they're pointing at and using that as a vector for where we need to do our work.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
We're thinking of the resistance and imposter syndrome as a guide, not as a guide to growth, not as a critic, not as a roadblock, not as a stop sign. Step number two, we collect receipts. Receipts is a word that has been picked up in common TikTok vernacular. You know, show your receipts. Political pundits love to, you know, show your receipts.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
There's all kinds of like talking heads and thought leaders on social media that it's all about the receipts. And look, it's kind of cool, I guess. I don't know. Of all the stupid terms that people use on social media, it's not my least favorite. So that's cool. But we do need to collect our own receipts. When we keep a success file, it could be a notebook. It could be Apple Notes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
It could be a folder on Google Drive. It could be a document, a Google Doc that you keep that you just write down like the cool shit that you do. Like your successes, your wins. What is the really cool shit that you have done in your life?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Because when the critic, when the imposter syndrome, when the resistance gets dialed up, a really good way of shutting it down is to remind yourself of all the ridiculously cool, amazing, successful wins, the world domination plays that you've made and have come to fruition. Every time you close a deal, solve a major problem, every time you receive feedback from a boss or a client,
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
Or your partner. Write it down. Imposter syndrome hates hard evidence. I may not have a nine-figure exit or won a Super Bowl, but I do have a seven-figure exit. I bootstrapped in less than three years.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Conquered Imposter Syndrome: The 3 Steps Nobody Tells You About
I've put on conferences with over 800 people, I've performed over 350 keynotes, sold millions of dollars in product, run large enterprise sales and marketing teams, grown this podcast to over 100,000 monthly downloads, while being a single dad and coaching my kids. I've been fired three times only to bounce back stronger. Wait, I've been through some shit. I've done some shit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Hey guys, the end of this video is a little awkward. We didn't realize it at the time, but the last like five or six minutes of Selah's audio cuts out and we don't have video or audio. So the ending will be a little abrupt, but there is an incredible amount of value in this conversation.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Yeah. 2025 has already been a much better year than 2024, 2020. I'm, I am glad that, uh, I'm glad 2024 happened. Cause it was a good, it was a good life lesson on, um, I thought I had a lot of the mindset stuff figured out. I thought I had a lot of it figured out. Figured out in air quotes, right? But 2024 kicked me on my ass. And you know, we talked every week for how long.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Well, thank you. And as I said, and I couldn't, I couldn't have done it without you. I, um, I, I, this is one of the things that I think has been the most interesting to me as I've matured in my career. Um, when we're young and we look at those ahead of us that we idolize, right? And I think that's a good thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
I think it's okay to look at someone else, you know, it could be an icon like a Michael Jordan or it could be a mentor in your community or it could be a parent or whoever it is that you idolize when you're young. And young can even be into your early 20s. You look at the places where they're successful and you assume that they have no fear in those moments.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And when you have fear in those moments, you're like, oh, there's something wrong with me. I'm scared, right? And this is actually a conversation that I've had with my children as well about other things, not just sports. It's like, you're 11 and nine. Of course you're gonna be scared.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
You're experiencing things that you've never experienced before all the time, because you're brand new to life, right? You are constantly experiencing things for the first time. And when you experience things for the first time, you are going to have fear associated with those things, especially if you are searching for an outcome in that thing, right? There's going to be fear associated with it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And I think when you can internalize the fact that Michael Jordan taking the last shot against Utah, sick as a dog, was fearful in the moment. There's anxiety in that person, right? He wants to win that game. He doesn't want to miss that shot, but he mastered the fear. He didn't let the fear stop him, right? And this goes for everybody, everything.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
I just did a talk, I did a keynote in Vegas last week. And wonderful event, agent broker, United's an insurance event. Um, wonderful group of people. I had never spoken to this audience before, which is always something I love because I love, you know, you get a new cross cut of people that have never heard you, uh, or, you know, whatever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And, uh, the, the organizationally, it didn't, it wasn't going well, like not, not the talk, but the, the conference, like not, not bad. They weren't necessarily doing anything wrong, but, uh, a couple of speakers had gone over their time and, and, um, And that's what happened to me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
So the speaker before me had a 15-minute slot to do kind of like just a quick hitter and hits the 15-minute mark and goes over. Now, the fear for me was I had to catch a plane at 2 p.m., right? So I had to be done with my talk at noon so I could grab my bag and leave because – I live in upstate New York.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
It's incredibly difficult to get here by plane, guys, especially when you're coming from the West Coast. So if I didn't catch that plane, which would get me into my home by 11.30 p.m. on Friday, the next plane that could get me home got me in at noon the next day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
which would have meant I would have missed both my kids' baseball games, and I just didn't want all that extra time not being home, right? So now I'm watching my time tick down as this guy goes over because I know I have this hard stop. And then – so, okay, so he finishes five minutes late. So now I go from having a 45-minute slot to a 40-minute slot.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And coming out of it and starting to kind of find my way again and prioritize properly and that kind of stuff, it was a good lesson that if you don't if you don't continue to follow the path, how easy it is to fall off the path and how important things like discipline, commitment, uh, surrounding yourself with good people, like those kinds of things, how important they are because.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
So now I'm trying to get my computer set up and my slides set up, and they didn't have an AV guy, which whatever, that happens at a lot of conferences. And – and I plug my computer in, nothing, can't get the slides to come up on the screen, right? So now I start panicking because, and normally I'm like cool as a cucumber in these moments, but because I'm like, but I had this deadline, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
So now I'm over, now my computer's not working, every minute is less time I get to spend with the audience, and like they flew me into this place to deliver a message, like I wanna give this audience what they came here to see, like I don't wanna shortchange them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And like, so I'm sitting there and then, uh, actually one of the other speakers comes up out of the audience and says, Hey, you go, I'll get your slides working, which was amazing. He's going to be on the podcast in the future. Awesome guy. Um, shout out to him, but he comes up. So like, so, so I do take this big, deep breath and, and, and I'm telling you guys like,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
I get nervous energy for a talk these days, but I tend to not get fear. But in this moment, I'm feeling the heart go. I feel the cortisol is flushing through my body. Like I feel it, right? I feel it. And so I take a deep breath.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Yeah. And if I didn't – if I hadn't – If I hadn't learned the lesson that I tried to share in the status trap about this idea of mastering fear and fear is a vector, what I said to myself was, like, fuck it. I'm going to take all this energy, and I'll tell you, Selah, I fucking ripped. Like, I just... I bet you did. I had this whole talk.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
I turned around, and I just... I looked at the audience, and I said, are you guys ready? And then, you know, I got, like, the murmur that they were, and I said, here we go. And...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
it was 32 minutes of full throttle because i was like you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna take all this fear and energy i have and i'm just gonna go and granted i was probably a little more aggressive than i normally was i certainly cursed more than i normally did i just was like i i can't you know i can try if i tried to settle myself and i guess this is what i'm trying to share with people is like if i tried to settle myself in that moment
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
it wouldn't have worked. Instead of fighting the fear, I said, all I'm gonna do is turn fear into energy. And I say this in the talk, fear and excitement light up the same exact neurons in your body. So what that tells me is you get to choose what it is. It's the same neurons.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
If you feel fear and you feel excitement, your brain, if you had one of those brain hats on, the same picture, same picture for those two emotions. So you get to choose. You get to choose. And I was like – and I didn't know that two years ago. But today I knew it, and I literally said to myself, this is – let's just go. Let's use it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And we just went and hit it, and I'm getting bro hugs and bro slaps and standing ovation, and it was awesome. And it ended up being great. Not what I had expected, but great. But I guess my point is saying like –
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
that fear the fear like i could have said oh my god these people are going to think that i'm a moron that i'm late that i don't know how to work a computer and i was like nope i don't give a what anyone thinks about that stuff i am going to try to give this audience what i had at that moment i was now at this point What? 15, 16 minutes late.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Like, I'm just going to give them everything I have for the 32 minutes that I have with them. I love it. And what happens happens.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
When you detach yourself from those things, you lose the way really quick.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Yeah. As scared as I've ever been because it is so much different than my normal style. So how I normally approach a keynote and how I did in Vegas is I have a – I'm sure professional speakers or anyone who's a professional speaker may disagree with this style. I have a starting point and ending point, and I have no idea how I'm going to get there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
So I have slides, but I will literally turn around and be like, I don't want to use that slide today. And I'll just click right past it, right? So like... I have a starting point for my talk, and I have an ending point for my talk. And how I get there, I oftentimes have no idea. Because I'm reading the audience. Are they energized today? Are they hungover? Is it early? Is it late?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And we're going to have Selah back on the show because as we mentioned, we didn't even get to the topic that I really wanted to address with Selah, which is personal branding in particular. So enjoy this episode. It is high powered. It is absolutely incredible. Selah is wonderful. She's one of my favorite people in the world. And I'm so incredibly excited to share her with you guys.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Is this a nerdy audience? Is this an audience, rah, rah, like they just want to get fired up? Like what are they looking for today? Because I think that – I think – I think a lot of speakers approach, they have a stump speech, and I'm going to deliver my stump speech. This is what I say. This is how I say it. You either like it or you don't. And you can be very, very, very good in that style.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Do not get me wrong. It's just not the style that I use. My way is to – I'm constantly reading the audience. I'm constantly looking at their eyes. What are they doing? Are they interacting? Are they nodding? Are they disagreeing? Are they murmuring? Are they engaging? And then a good example of that is like – I tend to curse and I like to make sex jokes and jokes about liberals. I just do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
I think those things are very – I think sex, I think being a hardcore lefty – I can see why Ben Ted was totally different. Yes, I think those things are fucking hilarious. You know what I mean? Like I just – I mean this might be crass, but – I just find sex to be fucking hilarious. Like what you're actually doing is just so insane that like, I don't know. So I find it funny.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And I, you know, if I can drop a little like innuendo in there and get everyone to laugh, you know, it's whatever. So I'm in Nebraska and I promise I will answer your question. I'm in Nebraska and, uh,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
i start doing my thing and i tend early in a talk to kind of test the audience a little bit like where are they right so i'll i'll put a few thoughts a few you know push a little here okay how do they respond how they respond and and again i'm i'm iterating i have a place that i want to get them to but i'm iterating so i can deliver the message in the way that they want this is a great step right now for anyone who's a communicator you absolutely need to do this brian you're such a natural you don't realize how many people don't know how to do this okay keep going that was gold
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
So you're so you're so so I and I don't like being on stage unless I have to be. So I'd like to get down with the people. So I'm down and I'm kind of walking in the middle and I'm talking and and I make this little sexual innuendo joke.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
like a fart in church literally zero response i have used this a hundred times and it always at least gets like a giggle nothing dead that's the worst feeling in the world i'm like okay maybe nebraska people in nebraska don't think sex is funny that's fine So then, and I drop an F-bomb. And again, I try to do it in cheeky ways, guys.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
I am not like F-ing, like just dropping an F-bomb on people to do it. Like I tend to like, maybe it's like a little... I tend to use deadpan humor in the way that I, you know, da-da-da, da-da, right? Like any kind of, and again, nothing. Now all the gray hairs in the back are now standing up and like a couple of them are like shaking their head, like in disagreement of what, of my existence.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
So I literally stopped the talk. well, I stop talking, I turn around, I walk back to the stage and I sit on the stage, right? And so like my feet are dangling off the stage and I'm staring at the audience and there's probably 15, 20 seconds of silence and I go, I'm going to make you motherfuckers laugh by the end of this talk. And I finally got them to crack, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Like, they finally kind of, like, giggled. And I go, guys, I promise I'm not going to curse again. But I'm going to get you to laugh in this talk. Like, I go, that's the last time I'm going to curse.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Yeah, I was like, I get that you don't like cursing. You don't like sex jokes. I'm like, I don't have any jokes about corn. And then they started laughing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
So I lost the love and then we got into it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
But that's my style. Okay, so Ted, to your point, to your question, Ted is so different, right? So different. One, you don't curse on Ted, right? You don't do sexual innuendo unless your talk is about that. Right? It's much different. And it is – there's no working the audience. Like you're not – you are talking to the audience. There's probably about 175 people in the audience.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
They're there, but you're actually communicating to the YouTube video, right? That's what you're delivering is to the YouTube video to that audience. Yeah, you're not actually speaking to the people that are in that specific audience because that's the nature of the talk. That made me very, very nervous. And the mistake that I made
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
This audience like or this this talk is is I planned every word, right? We had written every word gone through. And what I was getting hung up on were there actually two transitions that for whatever reason, my brain, I think because of the fear, my brain just wouldn't remember. And I kept getting stuck on them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And when I was practicing to literally two lines, I just my brain wouldn't retain them. So I'm sweating bullets. And I'll tell you, it was actually a good friend of mine, Chris Klein, who lives in Ohio, who came to the talk yesterday. I'm out pacing in the lobby and he sits down next to me and he goes, what's up, man? He's like, you look nervous. And I go, I am. And he goes, fuck that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
You got this. And it was like, everything melted away. So when I got up there, I felt, I felt fairly, I was like, you know what? So this is happening whether I'm fearful or not, so I'm just going to do it. So I went up and I started – and here's the thing, guys. The worst case scenario happened.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
I get about a minute – so if you go watch the video, and I'll have the video linked up in the description for those who haven't seen it. But like I get about a minute – like it's around a minute and a half, a minute 45. I can't remember exactly where it is. Somebody fat fingers the slides in the back and takes my slides off the screen and puts the speaker transition slide up on the screen.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
So like there's a transition slide between the speakers that the, that the, the Ted does. And all of a sudden the transition slide goes up. So now I'm looking at the confidence monitor and my slide is not there. Right. So. Thankfully, having done this before, I just say the same line twice. And you can kind of tell if you now know. But, like, I say the same line twice like I'm emphasizing it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And in my mind I'm going – now, it felt like an eternity in my mind. It was probably 7 to 10 seconds max. But they put my slide back in. But in my head I'm going, oh, my God, am I going to have to do the rest of my talk without my slides, right? And they put it back in. Everything goes fine. Yeah. Push all the way through.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And, um, and you know, once I got through that moment, I kind of catch my wind off. We go very happy with the delivery, especially the last like three quarters. And, um, and then afterwards I literally like, like, Yeah. It was like, here's the thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
So like, I didn't realize how much stress I had been carrying because when, when it was done, it was like, I took 200 pound sacks and slumped them off my shoulders. And I was just like, and it was all just fear of that talk that got through. I know, I know you have a time here coming up. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, I'm great now. Yeah, now I'm great.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
You know, I was like, Oh, my God, I'm gonna have to have you back on because we didn't talk at all about personal branding. This is mostly been an it's almost like you've been interviewing me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Yeah. It's, um, it's funny. Like I almost feel like we need to get our ass kicked once in a while. Like every once in a while, maybe like once a decade, maybe like once a decade, just get your ass handed to you. You know, just to like remind yourself of one, like you're not gonna die, you know what I mean? Like you're gonna be okay. And two, that, like today I feel very, very fulfilled
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
But um, so I want to have you back on because guys, the reason I wanted to have sale on not not just because we have amazing conversations, but the last year, and I want to be I want to be very kind, as kind as I can be to you, like, Selah helped me reframe how I think about how I position myself in, in, in the world, how I talk about what I do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And then, and this is what I, this is what I really wanted to talk about today. And we're absolutely going to have you back on the show. Cause I want to get through this. I, the personal branding, the personal branding work specifically that we did together. Like it wasn't, Yes. Do I have better words? Am I, can I frame what I do better? It visually is what I do better. Yes. All those things. Yes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
But that exercise helped me as a human being. Like I am a more confident, I believe more structured, more, more defined, more, more clear on who I am and what I want to become because I did what the personal branding work with you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And like, I guess what I wanted to get to and what I wanted to walk through with you was your process that you took me through because like, I would not be, I don't think 2025 has already been infinitely more successful to me than 2024 ever was. And that wouldn't, that simply would not be the case if you and I didn't work together for as long as we did. And, and, and I just want to,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Publicly say thank you to you and and just like I cannot thank you enough for what you did for me and the time that we spent together because I honestly believe that like I couldn't have made it through that time without you. And yeah, were we talking about personal branding? Yes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
But you would force me to reframe thoughts, reframe ideas, reframe priorities and continue to, is this, here's what you told me you wanted to become. Is that in this frame? And I kept having to sculpt and sculpt. And it was almost like, like, like a, like a, like a sculptor chiseling away. Like I had this ugly misformed rock, right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
That had some good qualities, but also some, and you were like, that piece needs to go. And Hey, maybe, you know, here's how we frame that. And And it just – it was absolutely amazing, and I just – this is one way of saying thank you, and I just appreciate the hell out of you. And I would encourage anyone who – business branding, I know our project was a little bit special, but like –
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
If you have this need and if you need branding work for your business as well, because I'm sure the process works the same with businesses as well, Sela is an amazing, amazing, amazing resource that I cannot, cannot, cannot recommend enough to everyone. And I highly recommend you reach out to her if it's something that you need. Thank you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
in a crude laboratory in the basement of his home.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
getting master, I mean, and you were so instrumental in this, like getting master the closeout, getting the Ted talk done. Like those two things in particular, like reframing what I wanted to be, how I wanted to, how I wanted to show up in the world.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Like it, I needed the pain of 2024 to today be able to sit here and feel very confident in what I'm doing every day, how I live my life, what I want out of my life. Like, I think that, I needed that reset. I mean, it sucked. There's a big part of me that wished that it didn't happen. But I think at the same time, if you can continue through it, and you were instrumental in that,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Really, you can come out the other side a much, I think, much more satisfied person. I think what I'm trying to cultivate in my life today is satisfaction is the right word. Fulfillment, right? How do I operate each day from a sense of fulfillment? And fulfillment, I think some people misunderstand fulfillment in so much as they think, It means conclusion, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Just getting through the day thing. Here's a, here's a good example. And we talked about this a couple of times, like, and you actually even said this to me one time and it was, it was a really good reminder. I can't remember when you said it, but I had a shitty, shitty week or whatever. And, but I got like one thing done and you were like, that's the win. Like, all right, last week sucked.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
But you got this one thing done. And yeah, was it your most productive week ever? No, you kind of did this and you chased this rabbit and blah, blah. But you did get this one thing done. And that's the way. So, okay. Yep. That's, that's what it is. And, and, and, um, I think, so that's, I try to operate today with like, okay, you don't have to optimize every minute of your day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
You don't have to have the perfect morning routine every day. You don't have to work out every single day. Like it just life happens, right? Sometimes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Sometimes the win is being able to log out at 3 p.m., pick up your kids from school, take them to the baseball game, and maybe you didn't get as much work done as I would have liked, but I spent eight quality hours with my kids, watched them play sports or whatever, and got to hang out with them and have a great evening. And that's a win. That's a great day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And I think especially for people that are driven, that can be a particularly tough lesson.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
So enjoy the show. I apologize for the awkward ending. And as always, I love you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
In a crude laboratory in the basement of his home.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Yeah, and we've talked about it so many times. The biggest unfulfilled moments in my life have been those moments when it was like, I should be this, or people expect me to be this, or my boss thinks that I should be doing this, even though I know that's not what we need. These moments where you allow others to dictate your future,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And this is one of the lessons that I'm trying to teach my kids as early as I possibly can, because I didn't learn these lessons until my 30s. And that's fine. That's my journey. And I actually was just talking to him the other day because new baseball season, and again, people probably get uh, uh, bored of me talking about my kids in their, in their baseball career.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
started the conversation and then we got like into life stuff so like so we get to so we get to like almost the end and he's like do you have a couple extra minutes he's like i really want to know about master of the clothes because what you know i want to i'm interested in how we can roll it out and i was like I was like, hopefully you had a little extra time after.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
But I think it, it's, it's, it's, it's a really, it's a good, uh, microcosm for, for life, right? Sports are, I think are a very good microcosm for life. And, and I oftentimes get a little frustrated when people are like, Oh, not another sports analogy. It's like, I'm sorry. Like sports, you can't hide in sports.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Like what I love early about sports, um, or about anything competitive, it doesn't have to be like a kind of baseball or whatever. It could be anything competitive is that, Especially early in life, you can't hide.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
If you're just playing video games, if you're just doing school, and not that I don't necessarily have a problem with video games, and I'm not a big fan of public education in our country, but I think that schools can be good. You can hide in those places. You can kind of not truly test yourself.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
But particularly in sports that have an individual aspect to them, like baseball, if you're the pitcher or you're the hitter or there's a ground ball hit to you or something like that, you can't hide. You either make the play or you don't. You either hit the baseball or you don't. You throw the pitch that you need to throw or you don't. And everybody sees it, and there's no hiding.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And that's scary as hell. And what's been interesting, and this is just this comment, is both of my kids really love baseball. They both play at a fairly high competitive level. They both play on their respective travel teams for their ages. Um, they, they both have started the season struggling hitting this year. They're just, you know, off to a slow start.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And, um, you know, they both have been frustrated and I should be doing this and, you know, I should be higher in the lineup and, you know, and these are common frustrations that people have. And I just said to them, like, you know, I, I, I do these little, uh, I'm sure that they're going to.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
they have lots of therapy bills later in life because of these monologues that I give them while we're driving. But I said to them, I said, guys, like, like, No one gets to dictate your future but you. Your coach doesn't get to dictate your future. I don't get to dictate your future. Your mother doesn't get to dictate your future. No one dictates your future but you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
If you want to be a better hitter, if that's important to you, and it doesn't matter to me if it's important to you or not. And I've said this to a million times. I play baseball. I love coaching you guys in baseball because I played and I love the sport. But if you said you wanted to be tennis players or golfers or whatever, ballerinas, I would be there with you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Like I honestly don't give a shit. I, but I said, you've both chosen this sport. Okay. And you're struggling at this one particular skill. Okay. If you want to be better, the only way for you to get better is you have to decide that you want to be better and figure it the fuck out. Like, go figure it out, right? Like, I will help you. I will take you to hitting lessons.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
We can work on the side as much as you want. I mean, for a baseball dad, there is nothing that they want more in life for their kid to ask them to help them, right? I mean, that's just like... You know, but I said to them, I go, guys, like right now you're letting where you're hitting in the lineup or the umpire or, you know, you hit three balls at a shortstop and he made all three plays.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And why, you know, why was he standing there? You know, whatever, all these things that young kids say about the sport. And I was like, you're letting these these external things dictate your future to you. Like, did you approach? that at bat, and this goes for anything, it can go for a talk, it can go for being a leader, it can go for a sales call, whatever. Did you approach that moment
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
with the right mindset? Did you approach it with 100% of yourself? Were you focused? And if you were, the outcome doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. The outcome doesn't matter because you did everything you had to do, right? Everything else will figure itself out.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And maybe the coaches wants to have his kid and his kid's friends hitting one through five and you hit six and that frustrates you and you can't crack. That's fine. hit 500 from the sixth slot, right? Like, why are you letting an external factor dictate how you feel about yourself? And no one's ever perfect with that. But it's like that lesson to me, that is like the most important thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And it's why, because I've had a lot of people ask me, and we even talked about it. You asked me this question. Why this topic for this talk? And it was... I honestly believe that – and everyone who listens to the show knows that, Christian. I honestly believe God put us on this earth to work towards becoming the best version of ourselves. That's why he put us here. He put us here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
for the journey, for the effort, for the struggle. Like I literally, the call I had, and I know I'm supposed to be interviewing you, but I'm doing all the talking. Guys, just so you know, this is what Selah does to me. She gets me wound up.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Keep going, Ryan. I have tons of questions for you too. I promise we're going to get to it. But like. I just had this call with a guy. We were talking a little bit about business, but as I told you and why we started the podcast late was we ended up talking about life a little bit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And he shared this amazing story with me where he had had this injury and he was feeling lots of pain and he was walking towards his church for Easter Sunday and he just asked God and he said, you know, help me with this pain. And the pain started to go away. And He said, you know, I don't know if it was God or not. And I said, it was.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
And I said, the reason is because you didn't turn around and go back to the car. You could have turned around and gone back to the car and laid the seat down and put yourself in a comfortable position, but you didn't. You kept walking forward. You knew the pews in that church weren't going to be comfortable for your back. You kept walking forward. And so the payoff to that was, right? Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Every Entrepreneur Needs to Be Broken Once
Your pain got reduced. Now, it didn't go away. It was still there. But it wasn't screaming because you passed the test. You didn't give up. And I think that's such an important thing. No one would have questioned you going back to the car, laying down, and saying, my back just hurt too bad. No one would have questioned that. But you kept moving forward. And I think that's what we're here to do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous conversation for you today with Stephen Galanis, co-founder and CEO of Cameo. Yes, that Cameo, the marketplace where you can connect with creators, sports, with athletes, celebrities, all kinds of different influencers, icons, and have them send personalized messages either back to you or to a team member, a loved one,
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
How do you – do you have a framework or maybe just expand on the philosophy a little more? Because I think a lot of people struggle with this. I think they struggle with it with all their work. Creators struggle with this. Entrepreneurs struggle with this. I think we all want to add in features or complexity into the product as a show of value, and it is a very difficult –
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
I think, conversation oftentimes to stay focused on this idea of simplicity. So like, how do you cultivate that inside the company and really stay on target?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
is so much different than most platforms, as you just described. Why are you willing to do that when your peer kind of social platforms are unwilling to do that? What is the thought there? What would be the concern of other platforms not to do this?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Yeah, I get that. And it's also, it's such a direct relationship as well, and so personal. I mean, that to me, it definitely changes that aspect of it. And, you know... I want to pivot into, and maybe this is the right time, this is the wrong time, but I'm so intrigued by the Brett Favre story. And you can do any kind of just preamble into how it happened. I'm not so interested in the how.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
I'm interested in your mindset and philosophy behind it. to actually execute and to go see him and then, you know, tell that story for us. Because I, you know, the thing that happened, whatever the controversy, that's less interesting to me, but probably important.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
But to then go and do what you did, I was like, this is the kind of guy that if I did want to work for somebody, this is the kind of thing that I would want to see out of the person that I work for. So I love that story.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Steven, it's great to have you on the show, man. I appreciate you making the time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Yeah, there's a part super early in your story that I'm interested in because I think it's something that happens to a lot of entrepreneurs. And I just want to take you back. Like in college, you start this Spartan Entertainment. You're building this big community. You know, so far as I think I saw that you're nicknamed the mayor and all this kind of stuff, which is awesome.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
So very entrepreneurial. And then your first job out of college is actually kind of going back into the corporate world, right? Like a trader for large finance. I'm interested in because I see this a lot in entrepreneurs journeys where early in life or college, they have this pull to build their own business. And it's almost like we have to try the other side.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Was there anyone inside the organization that didn't think making that trip, getting in front of Brett. Was there any pushback or was everyone kind of like, this is our Hail Mary pass, let's go.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
that's not the only crisis i'm sure you've had many minis but they're fast forward you know covid hits you guys just absolutely go bananas it becomes this way to communicate and deliver messages it's also right i mean i remember this time and you know there's cameos everywhere and it's just it's become a cultural icon to a certain extent and then there's a downturn and
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
you know, just reading through all of my material and doing research and digging into the story, so incredibly impressed with the decision to kind of Knowing that you had to down throttle and how painful it would be, I would love for you to talk us through that time because you've come out the other end now, this being a second major crisis, come out the other end in a very good place.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
And this is another moment where, just like with the Brett Favre incident, I think people who don't have their head on their shoulders or maybe don't have the values that you guys have, they fall apart. And you didn't. And I'd love you to take us through that time and kind of your how you led your company through through that period.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Like, was it like a feeling like you needed to try corporate life? Or like, why not roll your kind of entrepreneurial spirit right into an entrepreneurial endeavor right out of college?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
How did you handle that? How did you keep your shit together during that as one of the individuals that everyone's looking at through this hard time, which people may understand logically, but there's almost no way to fully rationalize emotionally. How do you, as a leader, maintain your discipline, your perseverance drive through this? Those are incredibly tough times. I mean, that's just that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Yeah. Well that, I mean, the worst part is I shouldn't say the worst part. My guess is years from now, you will look back at that moment and it will be the success that you have coming in the future will have only been possible because of the maturation process that accelerated maturation process of that in both of those two incredibly hard situations, right? Which were both different.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
One's a PR issue, one's an internal operations issue and sales issue, revenue and just business. I mean, those types of experiences, I think, you almost have to have them to a certain extent. You don't want them to happen. You don't wish for them to happen.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
But I look at some of the worst moments of my career, whether inflicted by a decision that I made that wasn't right or just something that happened that I had to address. And those are the, like it's funny, like when you talk to people, those are the things you talk about. Not like, oh yeah, we hit this goal or we made this tweak to the product and this happened.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
You tell the stories about how you overcame these things because it's ultimately what shapes you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Yeah, I think you made a really good point about, you know, kind of cultural hiring over resume hiring. And I've also found, and I'm interested in your take on this, you know, I found often when you find someone who is talented, smart, driven, but maybe doesn't check the resume boxes, but you can tell there's real, there's potential there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
The ideas you get from those individuals tend to be, there's real, there's real upside because they're not thinking, like, they haven't spent enough time in the box or even around the box to believe, to start to believe that you can only do things that are in the box, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
They're like, well, hey, there's this thing over here that we can take from and integrate, and all of a sudden you start to see this mashup of ideas because it's almost like their inexperience actually allows them to think bigger, if that makes sense.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
I'm going to position this in a question form. Your job becomes creating an environment for those personalities to mix so that you can pull from their respective viewpoints and everyone feels heard, understood, and access to all those ideas. Is that kind of the idea? Now, you become kind of of service of those groups to make sure that they mix in the proper way?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
I think there's also a part to it that is knowing what your strengths are. You know, there are certain aspects of business having, you know, founded multiple companies now that I, you know, I know like this thing that maybe in a leadership book is bullet four on the leadership list. I'm just never going to be good at that thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
It's just never going to happen that I'm going to be that guy. Like I I'm East coast. I grew up in the woods, you know, like, gun-toting crazy parents, you know what I mean? Like, I'm just a straight shooter, and I get told by any, every time I'm in a company, you know, I like the HR stuff, I just have to back up, they're like, you're too straightforward.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
They're like, you can't say those things to people, they like won't hear it. So like, I've always, I now like know that, but man, figuring that stuff out is just so important.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
People use Cameo to send happy birthday messages, thank you messages, congratulations messages. It's a wonderful platform for connecting people with the individuals that they follow, that have influenced their lives, who've done meaningful work and building that business. While as Stephen will describe, Cameo had product market fit from very early on. Thank you so much for having me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Cameo is an enormous platform. I don't think we need to do a shout out of where people can find more of you. But are you creating, I'll just ask, are you creating any content or do you personally have a newsletter? Do you do anything like that that you'd like people to go chase your ideas? Because I think the way you approach business is brilliant.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
And if you're sharing that anywhere, I'd love for the audience to be able to follow along with that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Yeah, I actually, you know, when I'm talking to younger people or, you know, whatever come up and whenever you have a public platform like this, people seem to assume that you like have all these answers and, you know, sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. But, you know, so I'll get questions asked and stuff and I'll tell them like, look, I think for some people and probably...
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
my guess would be the majority of people actually taking that time, if you have an entrepreneurial bent or that is ultimately your goal, taking that time to go into the corporate world in some capacity and getting a feel for that side of business because there are a lot of really good lessons that you can learn and also you can learn a lot of things that you don't like, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
And I find that my most successful entrepreneurial endeavor was actually the result of building I'm not going to say solely, but building against aspects of the business that I didn't like or I disagreed with and then building off of those. And I wouldn't have had that if I hadn't spent about a decade of my life in different kind of corporate endeavors. Does that play with you?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Does that sound right? And maybe what should someone be considering if they have a similar entrepreneurial bent that you have? When they're coming out, like, how do you make that decision? Should I just press into more entrepreneur or whatever?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Yeah, I completely agree with that. I also think one, just to build on top of that idea, even if you're at a job that's not your dream job, or maybe you aren't necessarily, you know, it's not your ikigai. I think oftentimes we then down throttle how much effort we put into it, right? We're like, oh, well, I'm, you know, an administrator in this company and it's not what I want to do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
I want to be over here. And then we spend half our day memorizing baseball stats because we can do our job in the first hour, right? I mean, that was like my career at American Express. And, you know, so it's like I'll ask people, you know, yeah, I get it. Like you don't love this thing, no doubt. But are you giving 100% to it to even see what you're capable of?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
And I think a lot of times we get into these positions, and if it's not what we see ourselves doing for 10 years, we downshift and coast. And that just kills all our momentum.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Yeah. Now, do you think, I want to go back and double click on this idea of you having, you know, multiple successful startup founders coming out of your culture. And I saw that you have six core values. I'm going to read all of them, but there's three I would love for you to kind of expand upon. But I'm gonna read all six for the audience quick here. Number one, roll out the red carpet.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
You are going to love it. and we pull off those questions in future episodes when we do our Q&A show. So love you guys for being here. Love you for listening to the show. With that, let's get on to this absolutely tremendous conversation with Stephen Galanis.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
Two, act like an owner. Three, challenge assumptions. Four, embrace innovation. Five, fight for simplicity. And six, make it memorable. The three I would love for you to maybe expand upon in whatever way you see works because I think they're topics that to me are kind of a little different and I think very interesting are one, roll out the red carpet.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How I Built a $1B Business – Cameo CEO Steven Galanis
two, act like an owner, and three, fight for simplicity. Those three ideas immediately caught me as differentiators from what I've seen in other kind of corporate core values.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
We do not have enough suffering in our lives. That's according to today's guest, Christian Ray Flores, international pop sensation, and I mean that quite legitimately, minister, entrepreneur,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
his son would be in the store with him that's exactly right and the the if the if the mother had work you know her daughter would be with her and the you know we apprenticed our children into our trade it doesn't mean they necessarily would do that trade although many did at that time it
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
it showed them from a very early age work ethic grinding the failure the success the conversations right like you see you know even into the 50s you see many leaders executives would have their child with them standing behind them back here as they're doing deals or having meetings or whatever and the child would sit there and now we're like well my kid can't sit still for 10 seconds without a without a piece of technology and it's like well what the heck was happening back then they didn't have that
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
What was the kid doing? The kid was listening to your conversations. They were learning how to communicate with people, how to handle themselves in society. And it's like I said to myself, like, we wonder why we launch these kids into the world and they lose their frigging minds in college and go crazy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
It's because they were they lived in a bubble and then all of a sudden they were launched out in the world. And they were like, wait a minute. The world is crazy and hard. You know, and and so that what you just described, I'm just I absolutely am fascinated with it. And I'm starting to do with my own children, maybe a little later. Mine are nine and eleven. That's good.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
I'm starting to bring them into my life, into my work life, because. I want them to see like, this is effort. Like you, you don't just get to show up. Like you got to do this and, and you have to do it well. Yeah. This idea that you show up and participate, as you said, and somehow that's success is there. There's no truth to that. It's a, it's a complete fabrication.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Head over to my website, ryanhanley.com. Subscribe to the newsletter. It comes out once a week, unique content. We're driving you to resources, ideas. It is my best work, my deepest work. We put through the newsletter, right? Oftentimes, it is diving on topics that we didn't get to fully address in the show. We'll dive deeper there. It's completely free, ryanhanley.com. Head over today.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Yeah, it's like we've forgotten everything that Joseph Campbell taught us about the hero's journey. That's right. We've completely forgotten that, you know, we start in the safe village or the safe-ish village surrounded by our family and we have a routine and things are fine. And then we get... if we never launch out into the world and we never face the dragon, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
If we never stand in front of the dragon and test our strength and our ability, then there's no way of coming back in and actually becoming the hero. Yet what we all want to do is press a magic button and all of a sudden we're the hero. And it just simply doesn't... It does not work that way. It does not work. And to me, I come back to this idea of apprenticeship because...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
I was talking to before what I do now, I owned a commercial insurance agency, a national digital commercial insurance agency. And and and, you know, we hired a lot of people and and from all different places. And what's interesting is, you know, when we started to really dial in and figure out how to find the workers, they were rarely the most educated, rarely the most polished.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
they were oftentimes the ones who had some funky story in their background that they, that it was always an overcome story, right? This terrible thing happened. I got fired from this job. I made this decision that didn't work. I tried this business that didn't work, but now I'm here and I'm pushing forward.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
The ones that just took this straight path of, you know, go to the good, you know, come out of the good community, go to the good college, get that corporate job ID. Like it just, They never clicked for them. They always wanted something from us. Right. It was like this idea of instead of what can I bring here? How do I succeed? How do I get forward? It was a different conversation.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
It was all how much time off do I get? What's my benefits? You know, and I'm like, we're thinking about this all wrong. We're forgetting.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Yes, it's an idea. And here's where I want to position this question. Faith is a huge part of your life. It's a huge part of my family's life. They go to Catholic school. I'm a devout Christian. I was raised that way. And faith is a big part of the conversations we have.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
And I'm very interested in how you built that into your own life and how you've brought your kids along through faith and what that was like for you and where you see faith and ultimately getting to a place of meaning and purpose and contentment? Oh, that's a big question. That's a huge question, Ryan.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
I love you for being here. I love you for listening to this show. Let's get on to Christian Ray Flores. in a crude laboratory in the basement of his home so dude when i was researching you and getting ready for this i gotta say i i had a moment where i felt very emasculated by by what you've done You had, during your pop career, some of the most epic hair I have ever seen in my entire life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Entrepreneur, coach, author, incredible human being, someone who spent a large portion of his life dealing with adversity and trauma, growing up in Russia, living through the Chilean Revolution, having his father in a concentration camp. made it to America, and absolutely has dominated.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
I was very taken by the way I spent some time reading about and thinking about. I believe that we've lost in our culture the idea of generational thinking. Again, talking about the fact that I spend time researching turn of the century stuff. And, you know, so much of what you read about everyday life, particularly about Americans at the time, was you worked.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
to, to put your children in a better place than you were. And then they worked to put their children in a better place. And that's how we took the bloodline and the family and the, and we, we moved them forward in life was to just, my role here is not to be a celebrity is to be these things. If that happens, that's amazing. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
But my role is to take my family, my name, my bloodline and move it from this place and progress us forward. And today, when you bring up the concept of generational thinking to most people, I watch them like crank in their head. They're like, it's almost like they've never even considered the idea. They're like, what do you mean? I'm going for the vice president of sales position.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
That's all that, you know, that's what matters is me making more money or getting this position. It's like, but what does that mean? what does that opportunity mean to move you forward? And it, and it doesn't mean you shouldn't have that opportunity. I think that's where people get lost. Like when I talk about this concept, they, they, I see a lot of people go, well, well, what about me? Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
And it's like, if you can hold, and this is what I've a big lesson that I've taken from the Bible. And I try to share with people is that you can, you can fulfill your own meaning and purpose, right? Yeah. While also right. Guiding your, the next generation to through the, maybe some of the obstacles that you face, right? Like ego has been a problem in my life in different scenarios before.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
And I work very hard to talk to my kids about how to be driven, but humble at the same time. Right. That's me trying to fix a lesson that wasn't taught to me. Yeah. Blind spot that I had in my life and a hole I had to fall into and pull myself out of. And now you try to move them forward. And, and to your point, like, Jordan Peterson says it best.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
You don't have to believe in God, but there is no better roadmap for success than the Bible. Act as if. That's how he came to faith. I thought that was a wonderful way of looking at it. He came to faith, which now he says he's a believer. He came to faith by simply just acting as if. He's like, I don't believe. Yeah. But I do think this book is really important.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
So I'm going to act as if, and then through the activity of researching and practicing and talking and communicating and, and trying to live out the lessons he became to, he came to believe.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
And I feel like atheism has, has surfaced again in our country and, and so much of the lack of birth rate and, and this, these different ideas where people aren't getting married and, and relationships are very, you know, Tinder based or whatever. Like, So much of that is a loss of responsibility to the generation that we're trying to move forward.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
I was looking at it going, I could never pull that off. Look how freaking awesome that is.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
You know, you've done all these amazing things in business, but that hair really got me now. Well, I, you know... Born in Russia, you immigrate to Latin America, you have this wild story, and you can go into that as much as you want, but maybe starting there, I'm really interested in, and maybe dive into your backstory just a little bit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
We don't have to do every detail, but maybe some of the highlights, because I think what I was most intrigued by was you did not have, in any regard, a standard... you know, upbringing, you had, there was tons of turmoil stuff that like literally your, your father's put in jail for a period of time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Juan, I love that. There's an idea in there. There's a couple ideas that you brought up. One was...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
breaking a generational curse and I was reading now I'm not gonna remember where it's from but there was research done this this book was talking about where trauma that we experience resonates three generations down yeah and we are experiencing the cumulated trauma of three generations in front of us and the argument that this whatever I was reading was making was
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
that it is it is not only important but it is our responsibility and and an obligation right to do whatever we can to fix the traumas inside of us i'm not talking necessarily about physical trauma like I get, you know, an injury or something like that. I'm talking about the emotional trauma that we carry inside of us, that that is passed to our children. And then it is, it is paramount.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
It is, it is an obligation for us to work through those traumas, to reduce the impact that it will have, because it's not just us. Like, like you said, we're so atomized in Western culture that, you know, this is me and my lived experience, which is a term that I hate. And like, I, Like, no, it's not just you, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
And the Bible talks about this too, but like, it's not, you are passing that thing on. If you hold it, if you don't fix it, if you stew on it, if you let it fester inside of you and create tension and cancer, you are passing that down to the next generation and to the generations that follow. And that therefore breaking generational curses, you know, in large part is why we're here, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
It is to solve these problems. Yes. I guess through your teachings and coaching both business professionally as well as the work that you do with the faith, I guess when I start to bring these topics up to people in casual conversations off of formats like this, it's an idea that is, again, incredibly foreign to people, right? And oftentimes they're not even aware. They feel tension.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Yet you have found a way to, to not just persevere, but, but to excel in life in many different areas. And I was in, I'm really want to dive into, especially early on in this podcast, what those early experiences did for you and how you have taken them and not use them as
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
They feel anxiety. They feel stress. frustration, but they have no way of naming it, touching it, even realizing that it is real, that they're walking around every day with something inside of it. How do you guide them to awareness, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Like if awareness is step one, if starting to understand that you are carrying something and maybe the reason that you're struggling to keep a job more than a few years or that you struggle with relationships is because of this thing that you're carrying inside, how do we start to just –
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
become aware of that is there is it is it conversations is it counseling mentorship like you know what is your recommendation for someone to start to understand what they're carrying because we can't address it until we understand that it's even there
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
in a victimhood way yeah but use them as a way to build strength and and write books become a pop star international pops i mean literally i'm reading about how boris yeltsin's using your songs in his campaigns i mean just just this incredible life where so many people that would come up the way you did and have the early portion of your life the way it was they would they would turtle in they would they would they would compress they would become depressed and
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
I absolutely love it. And I think you're 100% right. I wake up at like 5 a.m. And what I found is that, and I've done all three of those things at different times, but When you only do one of those, what you find is you lack in the others, right? If you only read, then you're kind of shoving information into a brain that's already full.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
And you have done the opposite. So I'm sure every moment of your life hasn't been, you know, completely joyous and amazing, but like, you know, you, you've persevered so well and driven through it. I'm, I'm, I'm interested in starting there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
If you only exercise, then your brain doesn't necessarily catch up and stay with you. And, you know, it's like I don't do them all in the morning. I tend to, I like to journal or just sit and kind of meditate over a cup of coffee. Meditate's the wrong word. Ruminate, maybe, in a positive way. But I literally, what you just described is the battle plan. I mean, that is it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
It's 100% the battle plan. And like more, people are like, well, I don't like to journal. Just do morning pages. Just barf on the page, right? Today sucks a thousand times, if that's what it takes, right? Like whatever you get it out. Have you ever read the book, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer? No, but I've heard I know the title. Yes, I highly recommend it. Like like Annie Fragile.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
It's one of my most recommended books. And what he describes in that book is something that I've always I'd always kind of felt but had absolutely no ability to put words to, which was this idea that you are not your mind and you are not your body. You are your soul and that you're in that where we get confused. is when we forget that we are not our mind.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Your brain's job, your mind, the voice in your head that is not you and it is not God, that voice is strictly meant to keep the physical being alive on a second-to-second basis. Right. So it is going to give you every bad piece of advice because all it cares about is alive for another second, alive for another second, alive for the same thing with your body. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
You you you feel a sense of of your word suffering when you're when you're going for a long run and your body's like, this sucks. You know, we have cortisol running through our body, you know, get out. But what you're saying is I'm making you stronger. Yes, your body's screaming at you to stop because it is. Your muscles are tense. They're tearing. There's stress chemicals flooding your muscles.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
But you know what you're doing. Your soul knows what it's doing, which is making you stronger, making you more fit, giving you more ability to –
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
outrun a tiger or whatever you know wherever our ancestors are doing so this but when you can when you can conceptualize or that's not the right word internalize this idea that that voice in your head is not your friend doesn't mean it's not a data point you shouldn't consider but it's not who it's not you right because that voice is going to tell you don't take on this big project don't fall in love with her right don't
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
you know, send a random note out to this person because he might think you're weak or whatever, right? Like, there's all these crazy messages that you get that keep you from doing the things that move you forward, and so much of it is because we think that voice is us. Or some people confuse it to be God, but it's not, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
We are this separate thing, this soul that's been fit into a shell, and the shell talks to us, but... We cannot take it as truth because it's not truth. And so much of what you just said is clearing that mechanism, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
It's getting the garbage out, getting the blood flowing, the body moving and engaged in the day, and then refilling it with positive things, you know, whatever the learning part is that you want to do, right? Then refilling it with positivity, right? And it's like taking out the trash every day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Yeah, you dump the trash, you know, you clean up the dishes, you put, you know, you fill it up with good stuff. And it's just a wonderful way. I could talk to you for three more hours, man. I want to have you back on the show, you know, as soon as I possibly can, because I have like a million more things I could talk to you about. This has been absolutely phenomenal.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
I let people know there's there's so much that you have going on the book, your work with your academy and coaching that you do. Where should people go if they want to go deeper into your world? And any of the resources, guys, that Christian mentions, I'll have linked up in the show notes, whether you're listening on the podcast, watching on YouTube, etc.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
So just scroll down and you'll be able to find them all. But where should they go to connect with you and go deeper into your world?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Dude, enormous fan. Appreciate the hell out of you. Like I said, I want to have you back on the show when you have some time because I want to get into the book. I want to get into some of your coaching philosophies. There's so much I want to talk to you about, but I appreciate your time, and this has been wonderful. Thanks for taking a few moments to speak to us today.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Just tremendous human being, the range, the depth, the philosophy, coupled with tactical guidelines that he's going to share with you. Guys, I hit 15% of what I wanted to talk to Christian about. We're going to have him back on the show again because we simply ran out of time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
I love the idea that we don't have enough suffering in our lives. I completely agree with you. How does someone who say is coming up in a standard American middle-class family and a neighborhood that's safe, that's never had to worry about gun violence or poverty or drugs, that it all feels kind of, it feels outside of them. They may see it on the news or hear something
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
someone talk about it, but they've never experienced it. They've never run into it. Their school is relatively safe. How does that person who's listening to this and going, you know, I hear what he's saying. How do they cultivate that in their own life? What are some of the constructive ways that someone could find suffering, bring suffering into their lives and start to grow again?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
This is one of my favorite episodes, one of my favorite conversations I've had in a long time, and you're just absolutely going to adore Christian. I highly
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
So I love Annie Fragile. It's one of my favorite books. It's on the wall behind me. It's one of my most recommended books. It's an incredible work. You know, so you've seen the outside world, right? Like outside of America. Like I have so many friends and I know we don't know each other that well.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
You know, in my backstory, I grew up in a very small, very depressed town in the middle of the woods in upstate New York. We used to say that you could keep your doors open at night because the criminals lived in our town. They didn't steal in our town. And, you know, so... Not that I've had, you know, I haven't lived in a war-torn area.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
I haven't lived in another country where there's just completely different challenges that you face on a day-to-day basis. But I didn't necessarily have it easy. We were certainly lower class, you know, all that kind of thing. Like, you'd have three shirts and one pair of jeans for school for the year. And you'd just wear them over and over again until they fell off you, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Even if it was in America, absolutely. So now I have, and this is why I'm just so... I'm so excited to chat with you today is now I'm raised, you know, I've risen up out of that, like my sole goal in life, even at the age of 10. And I was telling my kids this the other day, like at 10, I had this idea of like, I need to get out of here. Like I need to get out of here and never come back.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Like this is not where I want to be as I grow up. And I've achieved that to a certain extent. My kids live in that bubble, right? They've grown up in that bubble community where it's safe, it's nice. The people are, you know, good people. For the most part of them, treats them well. There's sports leagues and community. Okay. I struggle every day with... How do I show them?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Highly recommend that you dig into his work, that you follow along, connect with him on socials, subscribe to his newsletter, all those things, because this is someone who I'm going to be connecting deeper with because we just matched philosophies in a way that I just, it's why I do the podcast.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
How do I introduce them to experiences where they start to feel that pain? Right. Obviously, I don't want to put them in in mortal danger, but I want them to experience some pain and some because, man, I'll tell you, even at my age, I'm 43 years old. Right. I have so many friends who grew up, say, in the community I live in now. They grew up here. Yeah. I look at them in there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
So many of them are either miserable, like just straight miserable, even though by the outside they have a good life, or they're like... What's the right word? Like, like they're like dead inside, right? There's just no like, they're just kind of like go through the motions. You know, they, they bitch about their kids. They bitch about their wife. They bitch about their job.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
They bitch about their taxes. And I'm like, dude, those are, those are not real problems. Like your wife is actually okay. Your kids are fine. Like, you know, I don't know. They pick up the garbage. Your tax are going somewhere. I mean, I don't love tax like anybody, but like, you know, your garbage gets picked up. Your roads are clean. The fire.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
yeah department shows up you know like i don't want them to grow up to be those people like i want you know so like in how do we start to cultivate now you've seen the outside world you're in america you've written this love story to america which i want to get to like if if i'm coming up to you and asking for advice like how do you start to how does someone like that how does a parent do that how do we start to indoctrinate them to this idea of suffering being a good thing
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Episodes like this are why I do this show because I get to meet incredible people and share them with you. With that said, my friends, this audience is growing rapidly and I appreciate it. I love you for that. If you're listening, please like, subscribe, watch, leave a review, comment. I read every review. I read every comment on this show.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
I love that. You know, I was thinking the other day, I was reading an article and for some reason, I'm always, I'm very interested in the turn of the 19th century, you know, up through like World War II, just not just the wars part. I'm interested in the lifestyle. It was a very...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
If you agree with question, if you disagree, right, come over to the YouTube video. Watch us have this conversation. Leave a comment and Christian will come in and answer it. I'll come in and answer it. My friends, I love you for being part of this community. And if you want to go deeper, if you want to get insights beyond just what comes through the podcast or through the YouTube channel.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
was a very dynamic time because it was also a time when we when documentation and imagery started to expand so not only could we read the stories about what was happening but we could see it as well and and i was reading this story about how one of the things that we've lost particularly in this country is the apprenticeship of our children which is what i just heard you describe that's exactly it yeah where the shoe that you know the shoe cobbler
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. We have a treat for you today. Bob Berg, author of the Go-Giver and the entire Go-Giver series, as well as the Art of Persuasion, world-class international speaker, tremendous thought leader on personal development and peak performance and leadership and communication, shares his thoughts on authenticity, community, and why...
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
Do you think part of the solution is, and this is a sales terminology applied to this broader concept of, of having people maybe having people like you, you know, in sales, we talk all the time about detached from the outcome, right? It's that you can only give your, your, your best. You know, I'm going to use the word pitch, even though that's trite versus what a sale actually is.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
We like to say a sales conversation. Sales conversation. You give your best sales conversation to that prospect, and it's their choice whether they buy from you or not, essentially. Okay.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
Should we start to apply that to other aspects of our life in so much as if you're being – if you're confident and being congruent in your values, which I absolutely love that terminology and the way you frame that. then we have to detach from which individuals decide that they like our value structure and which do not. Is the problem desiring certain individuals to like us? I love that question.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
I get a lot of people who will reach out to me about – my message isn't connecting online, my message isn't connecting with my team, my message isn't connecting, and I will point them to your book and this particular law in this section about authenticity and really try to drive into, are you trying to play a role or are you being true to yourself?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
right that you know for control what you can control and lose your attachment to what you cannot control and and then you can be happy i had to deal with uh so i am disagreeable by my nature i don't think i'm a jerk but i tend to question things i tend to you know i don't just take a statement at face value or whatever just tends to be and
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
You know, as a kid, I didn't really realize this about myself until I got into the working environment. And all of a sudden, I'm sitting in meetings as a junior team member, and I'm asking questions, and all these heads are snapping, and I'm getting middle managers coming up to me going, you know, you shouldn't be asking those questions. And it took me – and what happened was I shut up, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
I stopped asking those questions for a period of time because I wanted to fit in, and I became very – dissatisfied, I guess is probably the best way to put it. I took a mentor of mine who came to me and said, you know, being disagreeable doesn't make you a jerk, right? You can be a jerk and be disagreeable, but you can be disagreeable without being a jerk.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
You have to, but, but he's like, you have to accept that you are a disagreeable human being. Like you, you're not just a go along to get along kind of person. And what, what I'm, I'm listening to what you're saying and I'm processing it. And, and I'm saying, you know, this, it's, I came up with this phrase, and excuse my language, but I use poor language. I won't actually use the word.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
It's an acronym, GNF, give no Fs, right? And actually, I point back here because one of my audience members made a little wood thing with the letters. And I promise this has context into a question. when I shared that philosophy with my audience on this show, I got a lot of feedback. People are like, oh, if you say you don't care what people think, then that means you really do care.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
And I couldn't articulate as well what you just did, which is, I want you Bob Berg to like me. I, you know, I really, this is what you just said to me, right? Like I want you to like, I'd prefer it. Right. But if you didn't, if we got up, we got to the end of this call and I hit stop and you're like, you know what, man, you're kind of a jackass.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
Like I said, I don't, I'm never coming on your show again. I wouldn't like that, but I get on with my day and be perfectly fine. Right. And that, that idea is, We don't teach that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
Yes. It's very healthy. It took me getting fired multiple times and having many negative impacts. So here's my question to you. Here's where the question of all this context actually comes from is how do we. start to train ourselves? How do we start to cultivate that idea in our lives?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
And I would love for you to maybe just expound as much as you can or are willing on why authenticity, especially in today's environment with so much communication hitting people is paramount to being successful in our communication.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
I had to be fired four times before I realized that this is who I was, and maybe I had to realign some of the ways that I went about it, but it was who I was as a person, and I couldn't care if people didn't like that I questioned things. I had to find environments that supported that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
But I don't want everyone listening to this to have to go through that many negative experiences to figure that out. So from your perspective, your teachings, your experience, how does someone who's hearing this and going, I'd really like to build that into who I am, how do they start to cultivate that idea into their lives?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
Oh, I'm going to have to get that one. The Untethered Soul is a book I read every single year. Again, quick read. It's like 115 pages. But the idea – and I think one of the ideas that I took from that book that I think relates to what we're discussing here today is –
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
Like we tend to operate with every nerve ending like on high alert all the time and any little stimulus we need to react and react and react. And this this concept of you're not your body, you're not your mind, you're your soul. And these are just mechanisms to help you interact with the world.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
That detachment aspect. is so incredibly important because you think about so much of the fear, so we use the word fear attached to trying to apply someone else's values to yours in order to be liked, etc. The next level of that is anxiety, stress, depression, all these downstream...
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
you know, ailments that we, and then maybe then we have to medicate and then we're now we're, or self-medicating deal with. And you think, you know, why, why do I feel the need to have two drinks every single night? Even though I know it's terrible for me, it's because I'm feeling stress and anxiety associated with fear because I want my boss to like me because that's how I get this promotion.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
And it's like, But if you just detach from the fact that you didn't care if you got the promotion or not because you were going to be exactly who you were and do your best work regardless of whether your boss liked you, then all that downstream negative impact goes away.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
The need, you stop feeling the stress, you stop feeling the anxiety, and you don't even want the drinks because it's not there in the first place. And, man, that is such a hard concept to wrap your head around.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
Bob, I have enjoyed this conversation so much. Likewise. I was just thinking the same thing. Ben, I want to be respectful of your time and of the audience's. I know you have so much going on. Where can they get? I mean, obviously, you know, so many people know GoGriver and all the subsequent books, as well as many of the books that you wrote before. But what are you working on today?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
Where can someone get more dive deeper into your world and just be in your ecosystem?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
I like it. And I love that you got the URL just bird.com.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
Well, I appreciate you. I've appreciated this conversation so much. And just thank you for your time, and I wish you nothing but the best.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
Let's go. Yeah, make it look, make it look, make it look easy. Thank you for listening to The Ryan Hanley Show. Be sure to subscribe and leave us a comment or review wherever you listen to podcasts.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
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The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
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The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
So much of our anxiety, stress, depression is a result of trying to align our values with someone else's. And this concept, dig in, friends, dig in. If you're driving, if you're on the treadmill, you're going to want to come back and take notes on this episode. I took, while I was listening to Bob, I took an entire two pages of notes on just all the ideas that he throws out in our conversation.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
successfully we need to understand the authentic value that we bring to the table do you okay so when we're giving feedback as leaders uh one of the things that i've heard from many many executives many leaders today is i'm giving my team feedback and they're not it doesn't seem they don't want to hear it it
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
In hearing your response, that and the way you define authenticity and the way you talk through that, it made me think about if that leader, if that individual, if they haven't been authentic in what they want and who they are, maybe in some of the places where they're deficient, if they're trying to play a role or mimic what they believe a leader should be or should look like, then that person, it's going to be authentic.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
You're going to love this one. I appreciate Bob for giving us his time and his just Just these nuggets, these insights that just absolutely grabbed me. I know they'll grab you with no further ado. My friends, Bob Berg.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
harder for that individual to hear them because they're not sure they can trust that feedback. Does that resonate?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
It feels today like so many people are fearful of, in your words, being congruent to their values. And a lot of this, you know, I'll give you an example. Not to be political, but I had a Trump sign out in front of my house since August. Are you tired of endless follow-ups and missed opportunities in your sales process? Chasing leads is a losing game.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
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The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
The OneCall Close system allows you and your reps to build trust, address pain points, all while watching your revenue skyrocket. Ready to stop chasing leads and start closing? Visit masteroftheclose.com today. Close twice as many deals this time next week. TheClothes.com to learn how. It is what it is, whatever, okay?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
Bob, it's great to have you on the show. I appreciate your time, man.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
I have no problem being who I am and showcasing that for whatever reasons I feel necessary to do that. What's interesting to me is that I assumed that thing would get egged, stolen, ripped up, and I would have to buy like seven of them before the election came. That was my, I live in New York. That's what I assumed would happen. It didn't happen. It didn't happen. I'm kind of surprised.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
You see that all over, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What actually happened was, I had no less than a dozen of my neighbors come up to me and say, and this is the first time it happened. I was really nervous, right? Neighbor comes up and she says, your sign. And she kind of points at the sign in the lawn. And I go, yeah. And I'm like, am I about to get yelled at? And she goes, I love your sign.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
all right well I want to get right into it and like most business-minded individuals I have read the go-giver and there has been one particular law of that book that I have always wanted to ask you about since the first time that I read it. And it's law number four, the law about authenticity. Okay. And the reason is I get – because I create online, I'm sure you do too.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
And I said, oh, thank you. And she goes, man, I wish I could do that. And I just said, well, you know, maybe I'm just a jerk or it's my Irish heritage or I don't know, whatever it is. I don't care. But I'm telling you, no less than a dozen neighbors came up and said almost the exact same thing. And it really – I started to think about it and go – They all said almost the same term.
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
I wish I could do that. And in hearing you – I hadn't planned to tell you this story, but in hearing what you're saying, they felt fear of being – of sharing what their value structure was. And I don't – we don't have to make this political, but I do think that this is something that's really made its way into our society. Do you think it's – a lack of confidence, as you stated, alone?
The Ryan Hanley Show
From Fear to Freedom: Untethered Authenticity with Bob Burg
Or do you think there are other factors as well that play into our fear of being congruent with our values?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
I opened up the screen time app on my phone for the very first time about a month ago. And I was sitting next to my girlfriend and it said three hours and 27 minutes. Three hours and 27 minutes was my daily average screen time. That's 91 days a year spent staring at my phone. That's 17 years of my life at that pace would be spent staring at my stupid phone.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
And even though we're doing this unconsciously to a certain extent, we are training our body and training our brain to avoid the tough projects that we need to get done that are meaningful and deliver purpose in exchange for these things
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
insignificant dopamine hits that just recalculate, rewire our brain for these little micro hits versus finishing the big projects that are ultimately going to lead to our success. So when we think about this, we're not even fighting distractions anymore. We're inviting them in. It's a bad habit over and over.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
These small, little fleeting dopamine hits tell our brain that when things get tough, pick up the phone. But watching a David Goggins video on Instagram is not the same as doing the work David Goggins does. Unfortunately to our brain, we can convince it that it is. And that, my friends, is the scary reality that we have to address.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
I'm scrolling those apps as a way to distract myself from whatever it is in those moments that I needed to be distracted from or wanted to be distracted from or didn't want to be distracted from but allowed myself to be distracted from anyways. And I have to be self-aware. And I have to acknowledge and I'm telling you up front that this is a problem and it's something that I'm going to fix.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Watching the Instagram video is the same to our brain as making the hard decisions. even though the results are not the same. One of the things that I like to do in situations like this where I become aware of something that I am doing that does not help me get to my goals, does not help me move forward, doesn't help me reach peak performance in my life, is I start asking myself questions.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
And sometimes I'll write down the answers in a journal or whatever. I do not have a regular journal practice. I use it more as a tool when necessary. but I'll ask myself questions. So I started writing down some questions and I want to share them with you because they started to make me feel a little uncomfortable with kind of this idea of distraction.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
What could you achieve if you weren't constantly distracted? If I got an hour back a day, What could I do? I could use that to work out. I could use that hour to read more. I could use that hour to reach out and spend time with friends or close connections that I may have lost contact with because I don't have the time to reach out to them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
I could continue, I could build a deeper relationship with my kids, with my partner, right? I could insert whatever's most important to you. If you got an hour back a day that wasn't spent scrolling on your phone, that was spent on a task that was meaningful to you. And it doesn't have to be a work task. It could just be something that's meaningful to you. How much better would your life be?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
What could you achieve? How many opportunities have you missed because you couldn't focus long enough to seize them? What did you give up on? Because you didn't have the time, right? Do you ever want to learn to play the guitar or the piano? You ever want to get after a long run, right? Become a marathon runner. Probably need more than an hour, but an extra hour would help.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Do you ever want to hit a goal at the gym? Spend more time at the range hitting golf balls, right? What is that thing that you are not able to achieve because... You couldn't focus on it long enough. How much deeper could your relationship be if you weren't glued to the screen? Have your kids ever looked at you and said, dad, put your phone down?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Have you ever sat in a room with your friends and they're having a conversation and they all laugh and you missed it because you're staring at your phone? What kind of life are you trading for these fleeting dopamine hits? Are you everything that you want to be today? Or do you do you desire more? Not just more materially, I don't mean it that way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
I mean more as a person, a deeper thinker, a funnier person, a more creative person, a more cowering person, a more understanding person, a more driven person. What are you trading to see who's DM'd you on your social media app? I don't want to be less of a person. So many of you watch the channel know I'm a Christian, I believe in God, and oftentimes a mental framework that works for me
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
is when i stand in front of saint peter at the gates of heaven and he asked me about my life what how am i going to answer those questions and do i want to have to explain to him why i wasn't everything that god created me to be because i enjoyed death scrolling x or instagram or linkedin Yeah, but, you know, I had an average of seven comments a day on LinkedIn posts to drive my personal brand.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Or, hey, I was really up to date on what was going on with the latest political scandal or, you know, international conflict or whatever that feels like now. a wasted portion of my life to me. Let's get into the prescription. How do we start to solve this problem?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
And it's something I've been working on for over a month. We're going to talk about the research that I found, why this happens, what the impact is to us. And then by the end of this video, we are going to dive into tactics that I've been using for over a month to now get my screen time down below three hours. Because here's the rub on this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Because I hope the time we've spent so far, I've pounded into your head because this is what I've been pounding in my own head that this This is something I got to change about myself. I don't want to be the distraction guy. So how do we change it first? And this is the one that to me is the most tactical, the easiest to implement and the easiest to follow time blocking.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
We all have calendars, Google calendars, Microsoft calendars, whatever calendar you have. If you don't have a calendar for some reason with some aspect of your work, Create a free Gmail account and it comes with a calendar. Use the calendar. Time block. Use the calendar to block focus time, to block work time, to block workout time. Put your kids' sporting events or activities on it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Put important dates that relate to relationships on it. Put vacations you want to go on, put, you know, the fact that you have to get your car inspected on there, like use your calendar and block out your days so that the important time is there. What do you need to get done?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
If you're a leader and sending out messages to staff or team members is important to you, like follow up emails, thank you emails, you know, giving people credit, asking them how they're doing that interpersonal stuff that maybe you struggle with finding time to do. Block half hour a day. Make it the morning, you know, first thing you do or make it the last thing you do every day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
This is not hard stuff, right? Schedule deep work sessions. That could be, hey, you have to work on an investor deck. Hey, I have a big pitch with an enterprise client coming up and I'm
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Block the time to work on the pitch deck, the sales deck, to do rehearsals for how you're going to pitch this person or how you want to sell them or what your hook is going to be or how to overcome objections that they're doing. Block the time for the work that moves the needle. Cal Newport, the author of Deep Work, one of my absolute favorite books on this topic. It's back here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
He also has another incredible book, Be So Good They Can't Ignore You. In Deep Work, he writes, clarity about what matters provides clarity about what does not. The second way we can reduce the distractions in our lives is to build distraction-free environments.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Now, there's a study from the University of California here that shows visual and auditory distractions can reduce performance by up to 64%. So that's both visual and auditory, not just visual, not just scrolling our phone. And it really comes down to what is the environment that we're creating? Are you using focus mode on your phone while you're trying to get work done?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
it's not just about the wasted time when we're mindlessly scrolling through social media in particular and our eyes are focused on this small screen with small letters with blue light radiating off of it going directly into our brain it's not just the lost time your body produces
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Are you using distraction reduction or attention apps? So this was the first thing that I did. And I found two apps that have worked incredibly well for me personally. The first is Opal, O-P-A-L. I'll have links to these in the show notes for this episode. And the other is Endel. And there's a lot of apps that do this. It's just the one that I picked after doing some research.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Relatively inexpensive. I think it's like three bucks a month or something like that. But it... makes it so that certain blocks of time during the day, it pops a message up and blocks me from getting into particular the things that I've already told you are a problem for me, social media apps. And it is a big part of how I was able to hit that initial reduction in screen time number.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
So getting it from three hours and 27 minutes to under three hours, that initial bump was really just adding opal and having a little pop up any time I tried to, you know, look over and grab and check Instagram or whatever. And have it say, look, you know, you told us that from nine to 12 every morning, you did not want to be on social media and you have an hour left or whatever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
And then I just go, OK, no problem. Put my phone back down. That's been a huge advantage. The other is a tool called Endel. And this is a free app that you can pay up for premium. But particularly for people with ADD and ADHD, which I have. It is a sound app and I used to listen to music. Classical music in particular worked well for me, but this app works even better than classical music.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
And essentially it is a progressive set of sounds and you can adjust whether you're in focus mode, relax mode, sleep mode. And I've used it in all those different situations, but particularly focus mode.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
It is a progressive series of sounds, which for people with ADD and ADHD, whatever that that portion of your brain that is constantly searching for a new dopamine hit, which is oftentimes why people have ADHD or ADD. It's the progressive nature of the sounds keeps that portion of your mind occupied so that you can focus on the thing that you're doing. And I'll be honest with you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
I didn't know if it was going to be bullshit when I first downloaded it. It's on constantly. I literally don't listen to music while I'm working anymore. I don't listen to music while I'm doing tasks around the house anymore. I'll pop my ear pods in and the end of lap on my phone and I will just, you know, I'll go fold the laundry or dishes or clean or whatever needs to get done.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
I'll just have that going in the background versus podcasts or music because even though you're, you know, maybe listening to a podcast, which is great or tunes, I completely get that stuff. But yeah, If I wanna stay focused on a task, those things are wasting brain power.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
There's a portion of your brain that is out listening to that music, listening to the words, or listening to the podcast, and you're not 100% focused on what you've done. And I found that with Endel, I feel the most focused particularly from an auditory standpoint, right? It keeps me focused on the task. And after a little bit of time, I don't even realize it's on anymore.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
And I'm just doing the thing. These two apps in particular have helped me create a more distraction-free environment. I tend to be messy. I tend to be scattered. So the other thing I've done is try to become much more prescriptive in how I take notes in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
I have particular sets of notebooks for different portions of my life, personal things that I need to get done, things related to this podcast and the work that I do at finding peak and with master of the clothes and the various programs that I run speaking, et cetera.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Negative chemicals, cortisol in particular, anxiety, stress-related chemicals flood into your body as you're death-scrolling these social media apps. So not only are you losing time, but you're also drastically impacting your ability to perform at your highest level when you do put the phone down and try to get back to that important work, which is why you're here. It's why I do these videos.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
And then I have one for link Cora, which is, you know, I'm an executive at, you know, link Cora, which is an AI company specifically focused on the insurance industry. So, um,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
I have created buckets so that I'm not scrolling through pages of a notebook, like, oh, here's personal things, and here's a meeting that I took over here, and here's notes for a podcast, and then this is stuff I have to do for Linkora. I'm separating things out in buckets, so whatever task, whatever particular vein of thought I need to be focused on, I pull out the appropriate notebook, etc.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
So working on distraction free environments, if you work from home and you work at your kitchen table, that is a highly distraction. You know, there's tons of distractions in your house, right? There's people driving by. There's people coming to your door, dropping off things if you have pets, etc. So try to put yourself in this case.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
I built an office for myself in the basement of my home, which is where I'm at right now, which is highly distraction free. It's dark down here. It's actually a little on the colder side. You know, there's nothing going on down here besides my work. Anything that happens upstairs happens upstairs and it's not filtering down to this space, which allows me to stay more focused.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
The third way that we can create less distractions in our life is practicing mental resilience. This is actually one that I am not amazing at, you could say. A study from UC Santa Barbara found that just 10 minutes of mindful meditation can increase your focus by 20% and reduce your mind wandering.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
you know using different apps that you know can walk you through guided mindfulness meditations just 10 minutes every morning and there was a period of time where i was very consistent with mindfulness meditation and i would just pop my earbuds in sit in a chair listen to the to the guided meditation for 10 minutes and honestly it works incredibly well
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
i have not been practicing this as much in my life it's something i'm going to start to bring in especially now that focus and reducing distraction reducing the anxiety and stress associated with distraction is a big part of how i want to improve my productivity in 2025 it's something i'm going to bring back in victor frankel has a great quote on this between stimulus and response there is space and in that space is our power to choose our response and when
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
We've given our brain a chance to reset. Like I used to talk about mindfulness meditation as essentially if you've ever played old Nintendos, right? Or like Contra was a big one. I enjoyed Contra when I was a kid. And at some point in one of the levels, always you'd be rocking and rolling and everything would just freeze, which is lock up.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
And the only way at that time to, you know, to reset the game was you had to hit the reset button, right? To get the game going again is you'd hit the reset button. And I found mindfulness meditation to essentially be a hard reset on your brain. It just gave your brain a chance to be calm and quiet. And when you come out of it, you are much more focused on what you're doing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
So mindfulness meditation is something we'll talk about more later. As we progress this year, as I build that habit in and I'll share with you some of the things that I'm doing right now, I don't have great guidance other than I have done it in the past and found it to be incredibly productive.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
It's a habit that I did lose and I want to bring back as a focus and productivity become more prioritized in 2025. All right. The fourth way is. that is to build better habits through rewarding yourself for deep work. We have to create dopamine hits, dopamine rewards that are greater and more important to us than the dopamine that we get from the distraction that is keeping us from doing the work.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
That makes sense. Research from the University of Chicago shows that immediate rewards boost motivation towards long-term goals. So, you know, we crave rewards. That's the dopamine hit, right? That's why we're looking at Instagram or we're looking at X general is that it drops a dopamine reward into our brain so can we treat ourselves a walk a snack
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
These are diary entries to myself because I know if these are things I'm struggling with, I know they're things you're struggling with. And I want to have honest conversations with you. So that's why I share how despite being someone who holds himself in high regard as being so productive and getting things done, I have a problem and I am fixing that problem. We're going to discuss it today.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Whatever it is, treat ourselves when we hit a goal of focused activity. So if you say to yourself, I'm going to work for 30 minutes distracted and free on this task and only this task, at the end of those 30 minutes, give yourself some sort of reward. Now, try to make that reward productive. Try to make it positive, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
We don't want to be stuffing ourselves, our faces with candy all day as a reward, but Can you find a reward in your life that hopefully is positive but creates a greater dopamine hit than the distraction creates?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
And when we do that, we are essentially training ourselves, training our brain to say, I'm going to give 30 minutes of focus without wanting a distraction because I know at the end of this 30 minutes, I'm going to get this thing that I want. And BJ Fogg, who's the author of Tiny Habits, a great book,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
know if you've read atomic habits by james clear this is another great book to read celebration is the best way to wire in a new habit right we have to wire in a new habit and give that habit a reward that is greater than the reward we get from distractions the fifth and final way To take control of our distractions is to take control of our inputs.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
According to a survey done by Deloitte in 2021, 80% of smartphone users check their phones within 15 minutes of waking up. The first thing we consume, the first thing we do in our day sets the tone for our mental state for the day. This is why so many people talk about reading in the morning or working out in the morning or doing mindful meditation in the morning because these are positive,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
inputs that create a positive momentum for the rest of your day you're putting yourself in a mental state of i'm gonna get done not what happened in the world or you know no one liked the last post i put out or geez you know i i'm at the same level as this guy and he's doing so much better than me or she's doing so much better there's so much negativity that can be brought into our brain by checking our phone looking at the tasks that other people have given us either through text message or through email
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
right establish a routine it does not have to be long it can be 10 minutes i'm gonna get up and i'm gonna do push-ups and air squats for 10 minutes when i wake up when my coffee is brewing just to get my body pushed in the right direction or i'm gonna read 10 pages of a book to start the day that's going to help propel me towards the things that i want to get done i'm going to get that positive focused engagement get that ball rolling early
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Read, right? Meditate, sit in silence, journal, attack a creative project. I've always found that my most creative time is in the morning. I am the most creative in the morning and my creativity drops as the day goes on. And I'm essentially creatively useless at night. Some people are night owls. Very few people are night owls.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Most of us, the vast majority of us are our most creative, our most productive in the Productivity ball rolling early. We're setting ourselves up for success in the day. Guys, distraction is stealing our future, right? Every swipe, every scroll, every notification is stealing our future.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Let's get after it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
A month ago, I found out that I was spending three hours and 27 minutes a day on my phone, that I was losing 91 days a year. And if I kept that pace, 17 years of my life was going to be spent staring at a stupid phone. That was depressing to me. But I'm going to make the changes necessary to become my most productive self because I will not stand at the gates of heaven and have to explain to St.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Peter why I gave so much of my life away to this stupid freaking phone and the stupid shit that comes through it. There are things we need to do here. It does have value. I don't hate the phone. I love the phone. But being mindful, being intentional with how we use it to hit our goals, to be productive, to be the best versions of ourselves.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Every moment that we reclaim from our distractions is moving our life forward. What you focus on is who you become. This is the way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the show. Today, we're talking about distractions. And before we get into that topic, just a couple quick notes. If you enjoy this show, if this is something that brings you value, subscribe. Like if you're on YouTube. Leave a rating and review on Apple and Spotify if you're listening to the podcast.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
If you have questions about the apps that we're going to talk about, the research we're going to talk about, Leave them in the comments. Leave them in the reviews. I look at every single one. I answer every single one because, guys, I love you for being here, and I want you to find your own peak performance.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
And that happens not just through me talking to you through either the video or the podcast. But it happens through real conversations. And we can do that through the comments or just DM me. LinkedIn, Instagram. Obviously, I'm checking them way less. But there's two ways that you can get at me. And if you enjoy email, Ryan at FindingPeak.com. Just email me, my friends.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
I'm happy to answer your questions and respond there as well. Okay. so getting into this topic in particular right so this research on attention residue residue comes out of the university of washington from a doctor named let me just make sure i get it right dr sophia leroy she is a professor of management at the university of washington and she introduced the term task switching, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Which ultimately led to her research around attention residue. Attention residue and understanding this particular term and its psychological impact on us and our productivity is so important because of three main factors, right? The first is productivity loss.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
When, you know, if if you are focused on a task and then, you know, you hit a point where maybe you come up against some resistance or there's some piece of it that that really starts to create an obstacle and a struggle. You know, oftentimes we'll immediately assume that we need a distraction. We'll go, we'll pick up our phone or our phone will buzz and go.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
You know, now we are looking at something else or we're scrolling through Instagram or, hey, has anyone DM me or did someone like my last post or whatever? Whatever your app, your guilty pleasure app is for distractions, we pick it up because we feel like it's harmless. Oh, I'm just going to scroll a couple of times, see if anyone mentioned me or whatever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Now, I'm the type of person that considers himself and holds as a point of pride my productivity level, right? I focus on energy. I work on tough tasks. I get things out the door. I complete projects, right? And I hold that as a point of pride. And here I am wasting a massive amount of time staring at my stupid phone. And when I dug into it, you know what it was?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
What Dr. Leroy's research found is that our brain stays back. part of our brain's energy part of our focus stays back with the previous task and we are unable to reclaim our full focus for 23 minutes now you multiply that by the average of 50 disruptions 50 distractions a day that we face you're looking at 19 hours of lost full focus a week.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Think about what you could get done, the quality of work product that you could complete, the amount of output that you could create if you had full focus on the tasks that mattered and you were able to reclaim those 19 hours. Now,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
i don't know that it's possible to live a completely distraction-free life especially in the modern world that we live in especially if you're living a modern life right if you're living out in the woods and you don't have the internet and you know you're just reading all day or writing and there's no technology maybe in the modern world it's almost impossible to live a distraction-free life
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
You're going to have messages that come in that are important for work. You're going to have messages that come in from a spouse, a partner, a loved one, family member. Maybe your kid gets sick at school. You got to go pick them up. If we can remove the unnecessary distractions, the social media, the gaming, the gambling apps, the whatever it is, the news sites that just suck you in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
If we can remove those as much as possible. then the necessary distractions, the ones that are important to your life, one, become less stressful, and two, we're able to regain more of our full focus. This is what distraction is costing you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
creativity quality relationships and the achievement of your dreams your goals so we're gonna talk about this impact we're gonna talk about how we mitigate it and how we move forward the things we need to do to get our full focus back to maximize our energy and to achieve world domination which why would you why would you shoot for anything less so what none of you want to hear is that
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Multitasking reduces our productivity by 40%. This is tried and true. This has been tested over and over and over again. The original research came out of the University of California. Multitasking is not a real thing. You are not a good multitasker. No one is. If there's someone in your office who walks around and presents themselves as a good multitasker, they are not.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Particularly if you are a man. Because men's brains are wired differently than women's brains. Women lose less energy when they switch from one task to another. It does not mean that they are able to multitask or they are not impacted by a loss of creativity and energy and focus when they try to jump from task to task to task.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
But particularly for men and particularly for younger men, jumping from task to task has an even greater impact on creativity, energy, and focus. We are not multitaskers. Humans are not multitaskers. thing at a time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
If the average person spends five hours and 24 minutes a day on their phone, which means even though I have a problem at 327 where I was, I'm still less than the average, which is insane. You're losing more than 100 full days a year to your phone. So there's a few different kind of like psychological principles that come into effect here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
The first is attention residue, which we talked about, right? Your brain stays attached to the prior task with a certain amount of energy and focus, which means that we're not able to focus on or refocus our attention to the new task when we switch. And on average, it takes 23 minutes to get our full attention back. Additionally, we have cognitive decline.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Social media apps, particularly LinkedIn, Instagram, and Twitter. I'm mindlessly scrolling, watching motivational videos or looking at news on Twitter or X and then doing the same exact thing on LinkedIn. Three hours and 27 minutes and more than half of that time was spent on social media apps. And here's the crazy part. I immediately start justifying that action as well.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Research out of the University of Texas shows that having your phone within reach Whether you use it or not reduces your memory and your IQ. And this study I've seen multiple times. This is the original research out of the University of Texas.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
But you have a reduction in IQ and memory just by having your phone in reach because your brain is some portion of your brain is constantly thinking, should I check? Should I check my DMs? Should I? What if someone texted me? Hey, do I have any new emails? Well, what's the new sports score?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
And because it's there and your brain knows it's there, it's constantly, and I'm pointing here because my phone is right over here today. And what I should do is take that phone and put that phone someplace else. When I work, I actually put it in a drawer. So when I'm doing focused work, I actually take my phone right here and I put it in the drawer that's underneath here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
And I put it on silent because anything I could possibly need is going to come through my computer. And we're going to talk about the apps that I'm using to make sure that the right messages come through. All the rest get blocked. during my focused time. The last is life fulfillment, right? The last major psychological impact we're having is life fulfillment. And this one is freaking crazy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Harvard psychologists found that people are the least happy when their minds wander, the least happy, regardless of what they're doing. Distraction doesn't just waste your time. It steals your happiness. Now, you may be saying, Brian, you know, I like to go for walks and my mind wanders all over the place. That's because that is the task that you are on.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
You have chosen to go for a walk without your AirPods or earbuds or whatever. And your mind is wandering all over and traveling to different things and thinking about different things. That's the task that you set it on.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
When they use the word wander in this research, they're talking about distractions and actually life fulfillment relates to the cognitive decline piece and that having your phone near you, right? It's your mind. Some portion of your mind is constantly wandering to what's going on on the phone. whatever app or, you know, news site or whatever it is that is your attention stealer, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Your mind is constantly wandering to that thing. And that we get the most fulfillment, the most meaning and purpose when we are singularly focused on a task, which meaning and purpose ultimately lead to happiness. So...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
guys the the effects are real right and just you know harvard texas university of california university of washington these are tried and true these are deep research institutions and there's multiple studies i just pulled out in most cases like the study that kicked off the idea but there have been multiple studies on all these things there is no denying that a lack of focus that allowing distractions to come into our lives and not being intentional with our focus
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
crushes our productivity, it decreases our ability to be great at what we do, and ultimately reduces our happiness on a day-to-day basis, which are all things that sound fucking terrible. The root cause of all of this, right? Why are we distracted? What is the root cause of our distraction? Why do we allow this to come into our life, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
And no one wants to admit this, but distractions aren't a real problem. That's a symptom. The phone, the social media, the text messages, the TikTok, whatever it is that is your distraction is a symptom. It is not the root cause of the problem. The problem is we're avoiding discomfort.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Behavioral scientists have found that every time a task gets challenging, when you're faced with the boredom, the uncertainty, and even the tiniest frustration, your brain starts screaming for escape. That's when you grab your phone. That's when you check your email or your text messages or your DMs on social media or you death scroll X to find what's going on in the world.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
These feel like harmless moments, but they're not. They're a horrible habit that is the result of avoiding discomfort. When the project gets tough, when we don't know what to do next, when we start to get frustrated with a conversation or a meeting, or we feel like we deserve something that we're not getting, we turn to distractions. It's a bad habit. It's a coping mechanism.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Social media is a big part of how I grow my business and build my brand and connect with prospects and customers and other thought leaders in the industries that I work in and the spaces that I work in. And this is how I grow my business. It's bullshit. It's absolute bullshit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
It is our way of dealing with discomfort. And it is one of the worst habits we can practice. And all of us, myself included, as I've mentioned multiple times here, we all do this. My point in going this deep on this topic is that if we only address the symptoms and we put some app blocker on our phone and we don't understand the root cause, what happens is we just bypass the app blocker, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
There's always a button on these things where you can just go beep or you just turn the app blocker off or you reduce its difficulty setting or whatever so that You can just get to the thing you ultimately want to do. There are tools that we can use to help us on the way, but we ultimately have to address the core issue, which is our avoidance of discomfort, and we have to break the bad habit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Tools can help, but we must believe it in here, and we must want that focus back. We have to want that productivity back. The issue, the reason that our body needs fights discomfort, avoids discomfort at the smallest, as the research shows, at the tiniest frustration. That's the quote from the research. At the tiniest frustration, our brain starts screaming for escape is because of dopamine.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
Every notification you check gives your brain a little hit of dopamine. Dopamine is the happy chemical. It's the feel good chemical. Over time, we're training our brain to crave distractions so we get that dopamine hit. Because guess what your body isn't doing when you run up against an obstacle, right? It's not dropping dopamine into your body. You're frustrated. You're anxious. You're stressed.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Build Distraction-Free Habits for Maximum Productivity - Ryan Hanley
You're worried. It's dropping cortisol in your body, not dopamine. So we look at our phone and we see that 17 people liked our last Instagram post and bang, all of a sudden our brain drops a little dopamine in and I feel better.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
You've read the books, you've watched the videos, you've bought the courses, but nothing's changed. You're still stuck.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
And the worst part, most people will spend their entire life inside that loop, never knowing it exists. And this is crucial because if you don't understand this next part, you're going to confuse inaction with identity. Every action you take is a vote for the kind of person you believe you are. And every inaction, that's a vote, too. Let's say the belief is I'm not someone who finishes things.
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Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
You start strong, but halfway through you stall. You get distracted, you self-sabotage, you ghost your own goals, and the result, you prove yourself right. See, I knew I couldn't do this. And the loop tightens. With every cycle, the belief hardens. You don't just believe it, you become it. Let's do one more because this loop doesn't just show up in our habits, it also hijacks our business.
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Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
Let's say our belief is, I'm not good at sales. You dread pitching, cold calling, you avoid follow-ups, you hide behind your website and you call it branding. But what if you were never bad at sales? What if you were just taught to sell in a way that felt misaligned? So you stop trying altogether. The loop isn't just wrong, it's costly.
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Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
Every cycle you run without challenging it, you leave money, opportunity, and confidence on the table. So how do you escape it? How do you rewrite the loop? How do you rewrite the loop when it's the only thing that's been guiding your behavior for years? You won't believe how simple the first step is, and yet almost nobody takes it. The first step out of this loop isn't a tool, it's a question.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
In a crude laboratory in the basement of his home...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
And this reminds me of something that Dr. Jordan Peterson once said, someone who I admire. When he was asked if he believes in God, he gave a surprising answer. He said, I act as if God exists. Whether he believes or not, he lives in alignment with the values, principles, the direction. Why? Because that way of acting leads to meaning, to order, to strength.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
He doesn't wait to believe in God to start behaving like someone who does. And that's the key. You don't need to fully believe in your future self right now. You just need to start acting as if they exist because those actions will create belief. Now, let me get real for a second with you. This isn't just theory for me. I have hardcore ADHD and for years, organization felt like pure fiction.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
My brain is built for bursts and big ideas, not systems and structure. It almost caused me physical pain to slow down and get organized. And because of that, my business suffered. Then I learned about Identity Loops and I decided to try something different. I started saying to myself, I'm an organized person. And I'd ask, what would an organized person do right now? The answer was always the same.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
They'd have a system. So I built one. It wasn't perfect, and it's still not great, and I'm still not great at organization. But it's no longer dragging my business down because I stopped waiting to feel organized. I just started acting like someone who was. that version of you, the one who does take action, who speaks with clarity, who finishes what they start, that version of you already exists.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
And every time you act in alignment with that identity, the loop starts to crack. So here is the identity flip formula. Act, evidence, belief. You take the action first, then your brain collects proof. Hey, maybe I am the kind of person that does this now. And that's how the new identity is born. Confidence isn't something you wait for. It's something you build one rep at a time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
So let me ask you, what would the future version of you do after watching this video? And maybe you're thinking, I don't even know who that future version is. That's okay. You don't need a crystal clear vision. You just need a direction. So here's a shortcut. Find someone who's already living the life you want. Then ask, what would they do in this moment?
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Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
If you want to build something legendary, think of Steve Jobs. Would he hesitate to pitch an idea? Would he scroll TikTok instead of designing? Would he let fear stop him from shipping something imperfect? No, he'd ship it. Then he'd make it better. If you want to build a powerful personal brand, think of Matt Gray. Ask, what would Matt do? Would he spend weeks tweaking his logo?
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Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
Or would he publish the idea today and get 30,000 eyeballs on it? He'd post, he'd launch, he'd trust the process because the process works. You don't need to have to guess who your future self is. You just have to borrow the blueprint from someone already living it. Until day one, until one day, you become the blueprint for someone else. Because this is the moment you've been waiting for.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
What if I told you the reason you're stuck has nothing to do with how smart, skilled or motivated you are? This is not what you think. But here's what you do know. Being stuck sucks. It sucks the life out of you. It drains your energy. It clouds your confidence. You wake up tired, even after eight hours of sleep, because your brain is burning fuel, fighting a war inside itself.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
The loop doesn't have to have power over you. Once you choose to break it, just take action and iterate from there. I believe in you. I know you can do this. And if you need help, just comment below. Let's talk about it. And if you're serious about becoming the best version of yourself, start feeding your mind the way the top 1% do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
I put together a curriculum of the 100 must-read books for fearless entrepreneurs and leaders. There's a link below. Click it, enter your email, and I'll send you that curriculum right away. It's packed with mindsets, habits, frameworks, biographies, historical lessons that, when applied to your entrepreneurial endeavor, will give you the confidence that you need. It will
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
give you those actions that you need to take, whether you believe they are inside you or not, they are. You're not stuck because you're broken. You're stuck because you're ready to evolve. The next move is yours. Go get after it. This is the way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
In a crude laboratory in the basement of his home...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
You feel guilty for not doing more, ashamed for not being further ahead, and yet somehow paralyzed when it's time to take action. Your to-do list grows, your ambition shrinks, and no matter how many wins you should be celebrating, you feel like you're constantly underperforming. Not because you're lazy, but because you're stuck in an invisible cage you can't see, but you definitely feel it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Watch This If You’re Sick of Being STUCK
The weight isn't just mental, it's physical. That pressure in your chest, in the pit of your stomach, that nagging thought before you go to bed, why can't I just do this already? You're not imagining it. You're trapped in a loop. But what if I told you you're not in a loop by accident? You've been trained into it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show today we have a tremendous conversation for you with Kwame Christian he is America's number one negotiation coach he has the number one negotiation podcast negotiate anything and if negotiation if tough conversations if getting to an outcome that makes you feel confident.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Dude, super excited to talk to you. So glad you took some time. I want to start maybe at the end, which is why are most people so bad at negotiating?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
What role does boundaries play in all of this? Because as I have gone through and I've talked about on the show before, I go see a counselor every other week. I've done it for almost six years. Best advice I ever got from one of my mentors was, you know, go find a counselor.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
someone that you can talk to that you like, you know, that's going to help you and just make an appointment with them every other week for the rest of your life and could just consider it a monthly expense, you know, and that's what I've done. And I'll tell you it's, it's, it is, it is the single thing that I would not remove, you know, beyond the basics that I need to keep my, my family alive.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Like it is the single thing I wouldn't remove from my life. Um, and, What I learned through that process was, as a people pleaser as well, huge, huge. I would say I'm on the path. I don't know that I'm fully recovered, but I'm certainly on the path. One of the things that we talked about all the time was boundaries and how not having boundaries makes it incredibly difficult to have boundaries
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
conversations in which someone wants something, because as a people pleaser, you tear down all your boundaries and you're just like, sure, whatever you want, you know, here it is, you know, even though I don't have the time, don't have the mental energy or whatever, I'm just going to say yes, because I have no boundaries around what I'm with. So like what, how do we start to work with boundaries?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
What role do they play? Like, I'm very interested in, in, in how these fit into our ability to negotiate or conversate to an outcome.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
anything like it just seems like this is a skill that it is literally paramount to almost every conversation we have in our life yet we're never trained on it and when you see people actually have some the pressure of some type they tend to not know what to say not know how to like it it is just a skill that we are not seemingly naturally gifted with so why is this why do so many people struggle with this particular skill of negotiation
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
What role does like an abundance versus scarcity mindset play in our hesitancy to negotiate or say no?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Yeah, I see this a lot in early stage entrepreneurs that are still doing B2B business development, sorry, or sales individuals where the individuals who come at a negotiation for say a larger enterprise contract, et cetera, who have a scarcity mindset. it becomes combative. Or they cave to every demand of the customer because they're like, I'm never going to get another opportunity like this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
I have to figure out, so I'll just break my boundaries, give in to what they want, feel terrible about the deal, but I got the deal. Where those individuals who see the world and it's like, I'm going to have boundaries. I'm going to use the techniques that we're going to talk about in a bit, and I'm going to work through this process.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
And I love this idea of it's me and you versus the problem, not me versus you. I love that framing. I think that's wonderful. Those individuals who look at that from the abundance standpoint have the ability to go, look, this is what I can do. This is how I'm able to deliver it. And the price point that I'm able to deliver it at, how do we make this work? Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
You think I'd done this before?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
And if they come back and they go, it doesn't work, then you're like, OK, maybe in the future we can have another opportunity. Right. If you get through the process and doesn't work and they'll move on to the next one. And that that scarcity mindset, though, if I don't get this one, everything's going to fall apart.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
And my you know, they create all the project, all these negative scenarios out into the world. They those tend to be the people who really struggle with this kind of stuff.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Yeah, the good news is 44 years into life, there's always another opportunity. If I've learned anything through my life, it's been that trite kind of cliche, when one door closes, another opens, is a cliche for a reason. It's 100% there. It may not always go the way you think or the way you want, but they always resurface as long as you're pushing forward.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Is there any public figures or politicians, leaders, et cetera, that you look to as like, man, that guy, that gal, the way she operates, the way he talks, the way they approach a situation, you know, they get things done. They get it done in a way. Like, do you have any examples of that people may be able to relate to?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
I think people forget that we're all one of ones. You know, like and what's interesting is when you see inside the actor's studio does a great job of this. When an actor comes in and sits on that stage and they're being interviewed and talking through their life. What I find very intriguing is who they often look to as inspirations.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
sometimes are not people that you would necessarily assume that they would look to. So it's like, you know, you could say, I can't do it. I can't be relatable like McConaughey or I don't have the poise and kind of dignified response and tone of voice that Denzel has. And I'll never have. Yeah. Maybe you won't. You might be funny. You might be able to find nuance other people can't.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
You might have a voice inflection, which is inviting in a way that is dissimilar from McConaughey, but equally as engaging. And it's like what I hear you saying is, you know, maybe mimic at first to a point, but ultimately we have to find the style that allows us to be the most confident in the moment. Is that correct?
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These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Yeah. It's funny. So I'm 6'4", and I can tell you that everyone – I get the comment all the time, like, oh, it must be nice to be tall. When you're over a certain height, people just want to comment on your height all the time, which I get constantly, which is fine. It's fine. But there's always this implied idea that somehow – being tall is this competitive advantage.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
And I'm sure there are aspects to it where it is. It also creates a lot of issues in relating to people because they have to look up at you. No one wants to look up, right? It makes them feel small. You are the first person everyone's, I always tell people like,
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Being tall is good, but except like when you're in a bar or a conference because you stand out above the crowd and everyone makes eye contact with you and you get all this random awkward eye contact. And I'm like, I'm always like trying to like slump down a little bit because you're just like...
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
and satisfied and fulfilled is something that you struggle with, which for so long I did. I'm a people pleaser at heart, and just my default mechanism was to say yes, regardless if whatever that person was asking for was good for me or not. And I've had to develop negotiation skills.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
thousand people just random eye contact everywhere because you're the one head above the crowd but um my point saying that is is I've had to develop mechanisms both in the way I stand how I approach people because I don't want them to feel like they're in a position of weakness simply because I'm tall because that immediately puts them on the defensive or they become more introverted or they're less likely to you know be open and so all I've developed things like
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
I'll lean against the wall or I'll, if I'm at, if I'm in a conference setting, I'll try to find a chair or a seat or something that I can kind of lean on or rest on just to bring my eye level down a few inches so that now that person sees me at eye level and we can have a much more, it feels like we're on even ground versus them looking up at me. And that immediately creates a dynamic.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
And it's, there's so much to what you're saying and how you have to, and coming back to this idea that we haven't talked about yet.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
And then, and I do want to get tactical and talk about your, your framework next, but it's like, it's almost like every, every time we go into one of these conversations, be they business oriented or otherwise, it's, we have to go in almost with a wide open sense of awareness of the situation of the other individuals, of their body language, of how you're presenting yourself, because it's not just the things you say.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Let's get into your framework. Let's get a little tactical. Talk me through, you know, I come to you and, you know, I'm struggling. I have some, you know, negotiation is part of my job. Maybe I'm not able to communicate with my spouse properly or my partner. Like, And I just feel like this is a skill I have not learned. How do you start to take me down the path?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
And how do I work through this to start becoming a better negotiator?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Wow, I love that. I think, you know, I know for myself, I'm way more willing to give than when I feel like the other person understands, they may not, they don't have to agree, but at least understands where I'm coming from. I know I immediately open up in those scenarios. Yeah. And so that, that part makes complete sense.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
You know, that could that also be like, what I'm hearing you say is this, is that accurate? Kind of like a, almost like a reframe and acknowledgement kind of thing. Like this is what I'm getting. And then they can tell you, no, that that's not actually it, but you're at least understanding.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
What you're trying, if I'm hearing you correctly, what you're trying to do is just help them feel understood. Yes. Like you know what they're actually about or what they're actually trying to do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Guys, stop right now if you didn't pick up on what Kwame just said and rewind like 30 seconds because I think you just hit on one of the core issues that so many people... They jump right into solving the problem versus even understanding. And I'll give you just a quick example.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
At my previous startup that I had, our biggest client made this huge deal out of something that my service team thought was a tiny little deal. Right. And, you know, there's all this back and forth and this big email chain. And then all of a sudden I get, hey, hey, you know, hey, Ryan, we got this problem. Can you jump in? Right. So now I'm CEO.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
I jump in and I get on the phone with the guy and I was like, so what? what I've taken so far is you're, you know, what I'm, you know, you're upset about the way that this situation was handled. And he did a little thing and I said, okay, so what I, what I'm hearing is you want this, this COI practice built kind of custom insurance. It was an insurance business. Sorry.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Built kind of custom for you. Right. And, and I, I saw like once, once I had like kind of framed that I understood the problem for him, he literally came back to me and he goes, you know what?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
i'm just glad you called it's really not that big a deal like we're good man and the call was over it was over in like 10 minutes and we didn't have to do any additional work we didn't have to change anything there was a mistake on my team that they made that we fixed right and whatever and he really just wanted me to know that this problem happened and he really didn't want that problem to happen again that was all he wanted me to know and if i had gone i could have come in and been like
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
I love your point about the internal negotiation because you think about all these influencers, not in a bad way, right? Like, like Goggins and even Rogan, all these, you know, say like on that, like workout, get at, like they're trying to teach you Jocko. They're trying to teach you discipline, hard work, which are incredible things that are necessary for success.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
look, we're going to create this custom process for you and blah, blah, whatever, a ton of work for us. And it wasn't even what he really wanted, right? Like that was the, you know, so it's just this, guys, this is freaking important to understand the person that you're on the other side with.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
I mean, just understand, again, going back to like the personal side, understand your kids, understand your spouse, and most of the problems will go away. I want to dig into the curiosity part. Cause I think, I think that part is where I know I sometimes will fumble. Like how do we, when we're asking one, I think open-ended questions are tend to be a problem. A lot of sales tactics.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Like if I, somebody goes out and buy some $97 course, it's all just like, ask this question, then this question. And a lot of them tend to be like closed questions, information gathering stuff, like maybe break down the, What an open-ended question is and how do we position that in this kind of curiosity framework that you're talking about?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
And the question always comes like, why is being disciplined so hard? And I would have to imagine it's because we set a goal that, And then we don't, you know, when our mind or our lizard brain or whatever you want to call it starts pushing back on us, we have literally no idea how to negotiate with that thing that's going on up here. And like, that's the first negotiation every day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Yeah. You can't change people's mind.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
They have to change their own mind. You can help them get there, but. There's no changing someone's mind. You're not going to do that. It's their decision on whether they change their mind or not. There's no... To your point, I love these questions where they'll present some amazing life scenario, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Like, what if all your wildest dreams come true and money rained down from the sky and you had this amazing house and car and all this... is that a life you would want? And you're like, I mean, I would be an idiot if I said no, but now I feel like a jerk because you're obviously taking me down a path. That's not going to get me to change my mind because you said it feels boxed in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
I used to teach my sales team this idea, which I found was the hardest aspect of sales to teach someone, which was silence is a weapon. I was like, guys, I was like, shut the...
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
up like stop talking like because you know for two reasons one if i'm just peppering you in the head in a sales call with my features and my benefits and all the things i can do and all the solutions i think you should have and my background and my expertise and how many products i have or whatever like The other person is just waiting for you to finish. They're like, I'm the one buying here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
And the other part is, psychologically, and you can push back on this if it isn't true, but from what I've read, if there's silence, someone's going to fill it. It is very awkward to sit in silence. So if you can ask a succinct, thoughtful, open-ended question, and then just be quiet. Don't give context. Don't give all this. Just ask the question and be quiet. They will fill it. And...
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
And like give you things that you didn't think you could otherwise even get out of them just by being quiet.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Like, should I get out of bed or should I hit the snooze bar? Right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Another sales cliche is when you've struck oil, stop digging. And I find that so many people will blow sales or blow meetings or negotiations because they They don't realize they've already gotten what they want. So how do we know that we've gotten or we've hit a resolution point? How do we know like we're not going any further, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Like this is the moment where we kind of, it's either this or we're not moving forward, right? Like how do we find that moment and kind of quote unquote close that deal, you know, using business parlance?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Come on, man. Dude, I could talk to you all day, man. You got an open invitation to come back whenever you want. This is phenomenal. I could go all day. I appreciate the hell out of you. This is such an important topic, and I love the podcast, Negotiate Anything.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
I love that you've taken it out of so many, I think, of the people in your space tend to focus on sales or business, which is incredibly important. Don't get me wrong, but
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
man, every interaction is in some way a negotiation or so many of the interactions we have in the day and being able to, I think part of entrenching that confidence in us is throughout the day, feeling like we get to outcomes that we can live with that are enough and not feeling like we're getting stepped on. And this is such a huge part of that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
So for people who want to go deeper into your world, where can they find you? Where can they find the podcast? Where do you want them to go from this conversation?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Incredible, man. Appreciate the hell out of you. Wishing nothing but the best. And I look forward to the next time we chat.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
And in this conversation, Kwame breaks down negotiation in such a simple but effective and powerful manner that even if...
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
I love the part about being intentional and how we program ourselves and kind of leading into that is Is part of this, similar to your gym example, kind of reframing how we view ourselves? So you went from being, I'm not a guy that works out, to now, if someone were to ask you, you're like, I work out. I'm a guy that works out. You've reframed kind of who you are.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Is that similar with the negotiation where, you know, I've literally heard people say like, I can't ask for a raise. Like I'm not that kind of person, right? Where it's simply just reframing your brain to go, well, you're just telling yourself that there's literally nothing intrinsic in you that makes you not the type of person that could negotiate something or go into that type of conversation.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
you shrink and shrivel and start shaking with terror at the idea of having to negotiate for something like a raise or a tough conversation with a spouse, etc., that he is going to give you a framework today that you can put in place immediately that is easy to understand, easy to remember, and incredibly easy to implement and is ubiquitous, regardless of scenario and type of conversation, personal, business, etc.,
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
So as part of this working to just reframe your own self-perception that you are the type of person who's willing to negotiate and willing to push back and ask questions and going through that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
So, you know, Jordan Peterson, he when he first came on the scene, he talked a lot about and how I found Jordan Peterson was actually in a revival of my own faith. And I found he's got this incredible podcast series on Genesis. It's like 17 episodes long. They're like an hour and a half to two hours apiece. And I've listened to it three times now.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Now, when he put that out, he started getting all these questions around, do you believe in God? Are you a Christian? You know, all these kinds of stuff. Cause he was coming from a psychologist, a therapist standpoint, right? That he was breaking it down as more like a playbook for personal success than really anything than religious, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
So kind of as if it were just a self-help book, like here's how you would use these things. It's kind of, and he got all these questions. And what he said was, it doesn't really matter if, whether I believe or consider myself a Christian, I act as if because these are what I believe to be quality principles to live your life. My belief is less important than acting as if I am right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
And I think that I think what I hear you saying, and I love the way that you're putting this together is like, If you're today the type of person who's sitting there and you're frustrated with your salary or you're frustrated with your relationship, your spouse doesn't agree. You know, let's take a, what do guys want when they walk in the house, right? When they're married, they want to walk in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
And the only thing you really want is for your wife just to turn you and go, hey, honey, how's your day? Or just, hey, you know, just like simple acknowledgement of your existence when you walk in the door. And there's nothing worse than when you walk in the door and look, she's busy or whatever. He's busy, whatever you're,
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
or whatever, like that person is busy and you walk in the door and you've walked in the door a thousand times and they're like, you know, whatever. But guys will be like, you know, I don't know how to talk to her about that. Well, that's a negotiation. And it's almost like,
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Can you act as if you're the person that's willing to have that conversation, even if internally your body's going nuts because it doesn't want to do it? Right. It's almost act as if and like your mind responds, your body responds. Like, is that kind of how you coach people? Is that how you teach people? Like, I'm so interested in that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
You are gonna love this. There is so much value in this show today. We're gonna get to it right now. I give you Kwame Christian.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
There's this idea, Michael A. Singer wrote about it in The Untethered Soul, it's in a bunch of other books, that essentially, if you believe, which I do, that you're not your mind or your body, you're this spirit inside of it, your mind and your body are these vessels keeping you alive, essentially, that there's a lot of studies been done, and I used to be able to quote the study and I just can't anymore, where...
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
literally your mind and your body do not know what the truth is. So if you tell your mind, like if you're, You not, you know, not the voice in your head, but you just, I'm a confident person.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
It's why aphorisms can work because you're literally just, you're telling your mind what to be like, you know, your mind might be like, if we get involved in this conversation, there could be conflict and conflict could live to a negative outcome, which could put me in a worse place. So no, don't do it. Right. That's what your mind's telling you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
But if you're just come out, you know, we're confident and we're good at negotiation. and we're going to do this, but because we're confident, because we know what we're talking about, and your mind just will go, okay, I guess that's what we are now. It doesn't know the difference.
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
You just tell it what you are, and over time, it will just start to believe you, and then, again, acting that way, and it can be that simple. I was about to say the other day, it's cliche, but it's also true. Why do sales guys, before they walk in the meeting, have like, mega death or like Wu Tang or whatever on, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
These Negotiation Hacks Will Get You What You Want, Every Time
Like this, let's just like hard, like masculine, let's get after it kind of music. It's the, it's simply just to frame your brain so that when you get out of the car to go walk in that meeting, you're feeling good. Your chest is up, your shoulders are back, right? Like you're just, like you said, you're just programming, intentional programming. It's nothing more than that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous episode for you today, a conversation with Kelly Roach among rising up out of a household that was filled with drama and fear, barely living above the poverty line. Kelly worked her way out of that situation, becoming one of the youngest senior vice presidents in the history of her Fortune 500 firm.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Before we get to Kelly, I want to give a quick shout out and reminder to you guys, if you are not subscribed to this show, it would mean the world to me. It would be a massive sign of support if you could subscribe, whether you're watching on YouTube or listening to the audio version of the podcast, Spotify, Apple, wherever you listen to podcasts.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
I have a mixed relationship with Catholicism, but definitely a Christian. And, you know, it's funny. The other day, my son asked me about hell, right? He's 11. My younger son is nine. And we're in the car and he asked me, you know, like, He's like, dad, is hell really like in the ground? Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Like the video, subscribe to the video, and if you have, leave comments either in the reviews or in the comments. I read every comment. I tag the guest if there's a guest and bring them in so that we can have conversations around these topics and really drive them forward.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And I know he's old enough to know that that is, you know, I think he felt like that might be a silly question, but obviously he asked it. And I said, you know, my, I said, my, again, I go, dude, I don't know.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
i am not a biblical scholar you know like i've been a christian my entire life but obviously take take for take take this into the grain of salt i said my understanding or how i visualize hell or or or our relationship to that concept is that as you said when God puts your soul into a body, gives you a perfect version of your life, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
He gives you this, you do, which is impossible because we're fallible, right? But he gives you this perfect version that you could be, right? Whatever that is, whatever that value is that you're contributing to the world. And our goal is to wake up every day and work as hard as we can to get as close to that version of what God intended us to be as possible.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And I said, heaven or hell is the emotional connection we have to the distance between what we end up being and what we could have been. And I said, so when you get weighed and measured, you know, by, again, just talking through the visualization, you know, St. Peter, and you have to see what you could have been. Do you look at it and go, I did all right. I got pretty close. You know what I mean?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Considering that I'm imperfect and we're all going to make mistakes. And, you know, hey, I did a great job. Like, awesome. Or you look at it and you go, oh, my God, if I had just put Netflix away and I didn't get high every night and I worked out once in a while and I focused a little more on my community, my family, I could have been that. Right. That's hell.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
That feeling of what you could have been. Right. And I think, you know, take that visualization in the faith aspect as much as you can. I think what you're saying is so important. like so many people have started, I believe our culture today has taken an atheist spin to this self-orientation when every book, take Christianity out of it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Every book that has lasted thousands of years, the core concept is give more than you want back in return. So if you just focus on value creation,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
it's it's the unlock to all your wildest dreams right now it may not be what you think your dreams should be today but it doesn't mean that it's not available to you and i think this idea that you've carved out that i that i want you i'd love for you to dig in a little more or maybe how we think through this as a thought experiment is this idea of what your dreams cost yeah nobody talks about this no one who hasn't done a depth of work that you've done or i've done is
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Kind of holds us in their head. But like, if you want to be that thing, it comes with a cost. Like my my the thing I love doing in business more than anything else is speaking on stage. I've done 350 plus keynotes in my career. I absolutely love it. I just it is where like I feel like I'm the purest version of myself in a work environment. Yet I have a nine and 11 year old.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
It also helps me understand what parts of the conversation either made sense or that you disagree with so we can bring in new guests or approach and attack new ideas to help you grow. My friends. I love you for being here. Let's get on to Kelly Roach.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
I'm unwilling to pay the cost today of being away from them more than say once a month. So I will never have more than 12 gigs in a year right now. Right. But because I'm unwilling to pay that cost. But you see people who want to become speakers and they're out on the circuit and they start running around and they take every gig they can get. And, you know, I just need stage time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And you're away from home 45 days, 50 days a year at a minimum. And also and also in your relationship starts to get cracks in it. Your kids start to act a little funny around you or they get very needy because they're not seeing. And it's like and also they're going, wait a minute, this isn't what I want. It's like you never thought. Yeah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
cost of that thing so so going through that thought experiment when you're working with with a mentee or a coaching client or whatever like how do you start to get them to understand that and how do we how do we really think through what those costs will be to us
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
In a crude laboratory in the basement of his home.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Kelly, thank you for taking the time. Glad to have you here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Yeah, I think a major, well, there's so many things in here. One, I completely agree with everything you've said. The radical honesty piece is, I think, a challenge for all of us, but it's so incredibly important to try to cultivate in our lives. And I take it even one step further and say, we have to be radically honest with ourselves first, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
I think a lot of us, when we read these books or we take in these topics or we hear a TEDx talk on something like radical honesty or whatever, there's a couple different ways to package that. We immediately go to how I communicate with my spouse or how I communicate with my team.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Awesome. So in spending some time researching your story, one of the things that you highlight kind of in your, you know, who you are is, you know, you say you came, you grew up, you know, just above the poverty line. And my story is kind of very similar to that. We never were hungry, but luxury wasn't an option. You know, even what we consider luxuries, most people today wouldn't even blink at.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Those things, one, I don't know that being 100 percent honest in any one of those situations is actually the right thing to do. However, if we're not being honest with ourselves first, we can't be honest with them because now we're playing a role or responding in a way that we feel like this version of me, you know, should be. And it's like.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
no who are you what are not just the good things yeah but what are the bad things about you know like i you know it's funny i you know divorced unfortunately three years ago and you know i've had these i've had like a couple relationships with other women since my wife and you know it's funny like
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
You get so used to being with someone, you know, there's kind of things that aren't that go kind of unsaid if you're not being intentional about it. And, you know, I get feedback like you're very you're very you're disorganized with your schedule. Right. And part of that is like I have two kids that are in like a million sports and I don't know. And it's like that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
I just have to be honest with myself that like. For me to be highly organized is real work. It's like work, work. Like for other people, it's just like, oh, here goes there. This goes there. That's what it is. That's great. That is, it's the opposite for me. Like that is the opposite for me. So it's then doing a calculation of, Letting people know up front.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Hey, just so you know, his schedule is crazy. Sometimes I don't get everything right. You know, I may miss a date or whatever. Also, like how much work. And this is really where this question comes in. Like when we start to get radically honest with ourselves and understanding, OK, I maybe I'm being honest with where I want to be.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
right and i'm and i'm honest with the with the costs how do we start to frame the places that we should actually put in work to get better and you know like do we double into our strengths or triple into our strengths like a gary vaynerchuk would say or do we put in do i take an organizational class and try to level up my you know my organ my
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
calendar organization or whatever to become better at that thing. Like, where do you stand on this? Like, do we push further into the things that we're great at and really just outsource or accept the things that we're not? Or is it better to lift up some of the things that we're not as good at and kind of pull them up into a more workable level?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Yeah, I'm really interested in one, how you felt you did that. And two, where like what do you think the characteristics are of the people who pull themselves out of those situations and thrive in their lives? And those who continue to go to the same bar, you know, kind of live the same exact way their parents did and never break free of of that place of kind of just getting by.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
No, I think it completely does. In the last company that I, that I started, I sold it in three, but one of the things that like, I had been an executive for about a decade before that at different companies. And but it wasn't until it was my company that this like really hammered home. I kind of always knew it to be true. And I think it's a little more my natural style.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
But but it certainly wasn't until I got into this company. So it was primarily it was in the insurance industry. It was commercial insurance sales. It was a digital agency. And, you know, I was for the first year the number one salesperson. Right. And that's kind of my bread and butter is development, sales and and marketing. And everything was good.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And then eventually I hit a point where now I had three additional people. So there's four of us and exactly what you just described was happening, right? Things were falling through the cracks. They weren't doing it the way it needed to be done. And what I realized in that moment was, and I think this is like the, the, the,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
The complete misunderstanding of what a leadership position is like when you become a leader, you don't sit on the ivory mountain and reach down to people. If anything, you become the Sherpa at the bottom of the mountain, literally walking people up the mountain. So we came up with this term of service, right? Like as you ascend in this company, you become more of service to the people below you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And that idea, it changed the whole construct of the business and really is what propelled it was all I stopped. So I immediately stopped selling, but stopped selling to then be like, OK, account management team. What are the things that you need? Is it a piece of technology? Is it training? Do I need to go get a consultant? Like, is it a new piece of, you know, is it a is it a. wax analysis.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Like what, what do we need? You know, sales, same thing. And all of a sudden I became like almost in the tasks that I was doing. And a lot of the things that I was doing almost, you know, if this were visual, like underneath them in the things that I was doing. And yeah, But but most leaders are do not see this. And there's just, you know, that classic just, you know, I give you a paycheck.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And that just simply does not work over the long term. And it's how you have these high churn rates. And it's it's just such a miss. And I think it comes from and I want to come back to here's where I'm going with this long diatribe.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
i i am very interested and i'd like to spend most of our time remaining on this topic i am very interested in the integration integration of faith into business right and i think that this idea of being of service certainly comes out of a lot of my question beliefs and that's why it was in my brain and etc but I feel like faith in business. It's like some people go all in and it's got everything.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And it's like, they wear, you know, they got the, you're wearing cutoff sleeves with their cross tattoo and you know, it's all this stuff and the chains hanging out and that's fine. I don't have a problem with that, but like, yeah. Or, or we kind of like, A lot of people hide it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And I'm very interested being that faith is so important to you, how you've chosen and what you would recommend to integrate faith, your beliefs. You know, some organizations simply saying the word God will get you, you know, well, maybe not anymore because Trump's president, but like up until a few months, a month ago. Yeah. You know, it would get you canceled. You know what I mean?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
You're fired for saying that. So, yeah. How do you do it? And what do you recommend people who faith is a big part of their life, but are unsure of how to integrate it into their business?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
She today has six different businesses, highly successful, all seven figures to eight figure businesses. And she runs it all through the filter of her family and her faith. And in this episode, what we dive into is how to bring faith into your business, how to think about it, why it's important. And tactically, how do we integrate our beliefs in the creator, in God?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Yeah, I completely agree. You know, whenever anyone asks me about, because I'd say similar journey around COVID that early COVID was when I was building my company. And actually I launched my business seven days before Cuomo shut down New York. So like I launched on March 9th, 2020, March 16th of 2020, you know, the state got shut down.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And I, at that time, for good reason, that's not a knock on Cuomo. He did a lot of things that are, are worthy of being criticized, but, but you know, not that particular decision. And when people ask me about, you know, when I started mentioning my faith and talking about my beliefs in that regard on the show, I had some people reach out and
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
like oh you know that's courageous or are you worried about you know xyz and i just said if someone if someone doesn't want to do business with me because i'm a practicing christian yeah that's a good thing and i don't mean it like the fact that i didn't do business it means they wouldn't have long term been a good value fit for what i was trying to do right for sure and that's fine like for sure that you don't there is no requirement for you to believe what i believe to do business with me
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
However, I want you to know who I am so that you can self-select in. And that's one of the things that I don't know if my brain is broken or just what, but like I've always, for the most part, been very willing to share exactly how I feel about things. It creates confidence.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Negativity, it creates people who in the space don't agree with you or will use something you said to attack you, which all those things are okay because the other side of it is the people who end up doing businesses with you feel so much more connected to you and understood. And like the example I give is if all things are equal, And you have two people to choose to do business with.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And one, you know, is a practicing Christian in this case. And one is a practicing atheist. Everything else, they look exactly the same. They talk exactly the same. You know, everything else about them is exactly the same, except for those two things. I'm going to guarantee the vast majority of people will go with the Christian because you know that they...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
they abide they have at least some level of humility to defer to a higher power which says to me is they think give value versus take value and this like post-modern liberal atheist self-oriented secular mentality that is creeped into our country like these people are not happy Now, you could be out there an atheist and saying to yourself like, oh, I'm happy you're wrong.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
The statistics would say that you're more the edge case than you are the rule because you are living every day to your next whim because you are the center of the universe.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And it is simply one you are not just statistically. And two, there's there's a hole there that you're trying to fill with these ideas that seemingly have no backing or to burst success. You know, I mean, that's that's I think what we've shown, you know, not not to get political, but in the most recent election is that we can an idea can make us feel good inside.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
But at the end of the day, it actually has to produce results. What we're learning is that the kind of postmodern liberal belief structure, this atheistic belief structure, it simply doesn't produce positive results.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
It can make you feel good and it can allow you to signal all day long. Right. And in your groups, you can form little hierarchies around who signals the best and look out, you know, this I am, except never.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
none of those none of those scenarios none of those mindsets thought processes have produced real consistent results to the positive just hasn't happened no and that's the part that i struggle with when i when i come up against some of these individuals is like just show me one receipt where that mentality actually produced positive results for people long term yeah and you can't find it yet yet we still fight this battle every day and i think so much of it has to do with faith so
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
It ends up being the foundation that you can rely on in the storm. That's what it is. You know, you even spend five minutes a day or five minutes a week, five minutes a week in just silent contemplation. You don't need to know prayers. I mean, that's this is what I tell people who who come to me again, again. Not a biblical scholar, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
I had for a very long time, my own unique way of, of, of practicing my faith as much as I do read about a lot. But I just tell people like, just, just, just, you don't need to know a prayer. Like, I don't know a prayer to say, I'm like, God does not only hear in prayers, right? Like just, just have a conversation and, and, and share and, and whatever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And the best part is you can be max vulnerable because one, it's happening in your head and two, he already knows. So I'm like, you can be max vulnerable in that, that, that small moment of connection, even if it's very loose and you just feel the tiniest little thing, when you stand up, you're like, okay, I'm going to be all right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And like just that little tiny, that little tiny step, I couldn't agree with you more. And, and frankly, you're, you're pushing me to even be maybe more candid and more forward and more direct in the way we talk about these things, because I honestly don't care in which way you choose to celebrate your relationship with the creator, right? Christianity is the way that I have chosen.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
But, you know, if you look at the core value structure of all of the, you know, thousand, two thousand year old religion, right? You find these core concepts that are exactly...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
same so what that tells me is right god realized some people needed to experience their relationship with him through jesus and christianity some people needed to experience it through an eastern religion or an asian subcontinent or they needed you know judaism or or whatever they he presented himself in a way to that particular group of individuals in which they could experience him right and maybe some of the
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Nuances are different, but at their core, these longstanding books that hold these ideas, they're copies of each other. And that tells me that, one, it's another data point in so much as God does exist. How could it be possible, right? So these are universal truths shared through this idea of a higher power. So it's another data point to the fact that it is real.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And two, even if you don't believe – and this is the second point I'll say to them is like start like Jordan Peterson started. Act as if. You don't have to believe. Just take these books as – The most, the best-selling self-improvement book of all time, you're talking about the Bible.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
If you just think about it from the standpoint of being a self-improvement book and act as if what inevitably happens is you start to feel things that convince you that we aren't alone, that we are connected, that there is a higher power. And then as you said, hope, faith, perseverance, commitment, passion, love, all these positive things start to roll out of it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And you don't have to believe day one. Just act as if.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
For sure. This has been a phenomenal conversation. I appreciate the hell out of you and your viewpoint. You know, you're we're fans. You come back whenever you want, you know, your next book, whatever you have going on, come back whenever you want. I especially even if you want to dig deeper into this topic, I would love that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
People who've been listening and they're like, I need more of Kelly. Where do they go? Where's the best place for them to connect with you?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Wow. We will. We'll make sure that we have links to Kelly's show as well as some of her other resources. So just scroll down the description or show notes. Appreciate you, Kelly. Wish you nothing but the best. Thank you so much.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
in a crude laboratory in the basement of his home.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
How old were you when you kind of first had this thought that you didn't want to live this way?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
So yeah, that, that makes a lot of sense. That's actually, so that's like six grades, like around 12 years old. That's right around the same time that I had the same exact thought. I remember that. You know, I can remember like walking down the streets of, you know, my small town to my buddy's house and saying to myself, like, I don't want this future.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Like, like, like if I choose to live here because it's my choice, that's one thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
I'm not going to be forced to live here because I haven't done anything that gives me the ability to break out. Exactly. And it's very funny. That feels like a moving year. One of the things that you kind of highlighted in there was control. You know, what I wrote down, paraphrasing what you said, was kind of control what you can control. Yeah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
How do we work them into our business in a way that is real and true to us, as well as helping us build deeper connections with our employees, with our prospects, with our customers? And really driving massive growth through faith, not as a tactic, but as a pure belief structure that we cultivate and integrate into our lives. And how do we not become fearful of any type of consequences?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
So that to me feels like a core kind of first principle that you hear everywhere. said in different ways from a lot of people who are highly successful. They, they tend to, they tend to as much as they can either outsource or just let pass by them, the things that are out of their control. They don't waste brain cycles on it. How do you, how do you cultivate that in your work? Cause it, it,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
It's a very hard thing for many people to stay focused, to not allow negativity, to creep in, to not get lost in the presidential election or this war or climate or whatever your topic du jour of fear is. How do you how do you capture that idea? How do you make sure that you're you're not getting distracted as much as as much as possible?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
from bringing faith and talking about faith in our business. This is a wonderful episode. If faith is part of your life and you work in or own a business, you are going to want to wait, particularly for the last 10 minutes of this episode where we get highly detailed on what it takes to bring faith into your business in a successful and productive way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Do you think that a lot of it has to do with the fact that we set these goals, but there are other people's goals? I have this theory. Yes. I'm actually six days from us talking here in February. I'm doing my first TEDx talk.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Thank you. Yeah, I'm very excited about it. I've been working on it for like a year and obviously we're at the moment where now it's real. It's title is Stop Living a Life You Didn't Choose. And I have this theory that I want to put in front of you and get your feedback on.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
The idea is we get much of our lack of satisfaction, purpose, success is the result of prioritizing our status in a hierarchy versus mastering the craft that we need to be good at. And what I found throughout my career also started in sold businesses and been an executive and done a lot of mentorship and coaching and stuff over the years on the side. And
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
people and i'm very this is where i'm interested in your people come to me with these goals right like what are we doing like you're we're talking here you reached out to me you know how can i help like what do you want and they'll start to talk about the things that they want and it sounds like it came out of like a 37 guru like yeah pdf template and it's like
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Is that what you, you know, like, yeah. And I've, I've tried to reframe how I asked the next question, how I originally started asking it was like, is that what you really want? People say, yes. Well, it's like, how did you get to that goal? Like if you, you know, people be like, I want to, I want to own an eight figure business.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
why right like do you want it because you want to say that you did that do you want that because entrepreneurship is cool do you want that because your parents were successful and you feel like you have to be financially like what and i think so much of the inaction that happens is because we set goals that sound right but don't feel right so then we're unwilling to make the sacrifices right and
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And this kind of leads into the last part of my little paraphrase here before I kick it back over to you, which is where I took a lot of them was, OK, if we're not if we don't actually know what your true goal is yet, then maybe you don't know the actions to take. So. like a great place to start is like what you're not going to do. Like, I love that you highlighted that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
Cause I think it's so incredibly important. And so few people write down, like, I will not take a random cup of coffee meeting or pick your brain meeting on a Friday morning. Cause that's prime time creation or work time. Right. And if you stick that in there, because I feel like you should, you know, like, so starting to make a list of the things you're just unwilling to do first.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Kelly Roach Shares Her SECRET to Business Success
And like, out of that tends to come, um,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. You thought Christmas was over and here I am giving you another present. This tremendous conversation with Jordan Syatt, one of my absolute favorite, go-to fitness thought leaders. first caught Jordan's work when he was the personal trainer to Gary Vaynerchuk.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It's the people who walk the most. And we see this in Italy. We see this in France. We see this in Japan. We see this in Switzerland. The people who walk the most live the longest and healthiest lives. Now, from there, once we have that base covered, it's like, okay, so it's not just about how long we live. It's also about the quality of those years.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And the quality of those years, a lot of it comes down to how much strength we have. Right. So if we want to not just elongate our life, but also live a better quality of life, one of the major things is bone density. And as soon as I start talking about that, people are like, oh, they just they tune out. They want to hear about how to get jacked and how to get ripped.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
But it's like if you have anyone in your life, 60s, 70s, 80s or older, one of the leading causes of death is they fall. And it's just a regular fall. But they fall and then maybe they can't get back up. They break a hip. And over 70% of people who break a hip or break a bone when they fall after they're like 60 or 70 years old, they die.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Because what it takes for the body to recover from that is astronomical. So in terms of the quality of your life, you absolutely need to lift in order to maintain that quality. Never mind the metabolic effects of adding more muscle, which is going to burn more calories, so it'll be easier for you to stay leaner year-round.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Amazing. Awesome.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
You'll be able to eat more food without gaining body fat, all these things that people like to hear from the aesthetic perspective. But just purely as an individual, as a human, if you want to actually If you don't want to have someone living with you or being in a nursing home, like you got to fucking lift weights.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Awesome.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I also really like that. I like your jacket, man. That's like something I would wear. I really like that a lot. That's awesome.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
If you if you want to be able to compete with your kids, compete with your grandkids, if you want to be able to. It's funny in the research that they call them ADL activities of daily living. Something as simple as opening up a jar. Something as simple as, like, if you were to fall and you needed to grab onto something, do you have the grip strength to do that?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It's these simple things that when you're younger, and 40s I still consider younger, but I bet by the time you get to your 30s and 40s, you start seeing kids you grew up with who are adults now, like, damn, dude, like, what the fuck? Like, you can't do anything. Fucking dad bod, bro. Dad bod is, like, the least of it. I mean, like... like they've got real problems.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Like they've got getting up a flight of stairs is a problem, like doing anything. And in their mind, they still think that when they're a high school football player, high school wrestler, high school baseball, lacrosse, that's how they think they are. But they're not. And it takes a big life changing situation for them to realize it. So if you want to live longer, move.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
If you want to live longer and better, move and lift.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I get a ton of shit from people for deadlifting. They're like, you're 40 years old now. What do you need the deadlift for? You're going to get hurt. And I'm like, I look at them, I'm like, I'm not going to get hurt because I deadlift. Correct. So you understand where I'm coming from. I hear you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Straight Instagram purchase.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
But understand my perspective is when we're out on the field fucking around with the kids, you know, in the outfield, you know, I coach baseball for my sons. And like... I'm like, the reason I can run around and shag fly still is because I do this shit. And it's such a struggle to get through to people. And I'm not a fitness expert. It's not my job. I just love it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Really?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Dude, it was late night. It's like Instagram fucking knows when I've had a beer or two and I'm sitting on the couch by myself. It knows. It's like it knows. Smell it on me. It's like he's just enough. His inhibitions are down just enough that if we serve this ad, he's going to hit purchase right here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And unfortunately, I can't stop talking because I have massive ADHD. So I have to tell everyone everything I'm doing and thinking at every moment of every day. That's why I have a podcast. It's like therapy, essentially. So... you know, like I try to explain to these dudes and they're all awesome guys, all former athletes, but like, they're all carrying 20 to 40 extra pounds and they can't move.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
They get to the end of practice and they're like exhausted. And I'm like, I could have gone for another two hours. And that's not me bragging. It's, It's the truth. It's I don't want to be hunched over, you know, going and having to get fucking dialysis when I'm 60 years old. You know, I want to still be I want to be popping with my grandkids.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Like I want to be out there helping my grandkids learn how to hit a baseball. Like that's you know, and I don't it's so hard to get through to people. And it's and it's one of the reasons I was so excited to have you on the show. I know there's so many guys that listen that are in similar life positions as me, and they're not prioritizing this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
So with all the work you do, all the people that you work with, when you're trying to just...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
crack get your foot in the door with them right like obviously maybe they've reached out so they have an interest but but they're still hesitant they're still how do you start to crack that door what's the mindset is there is there like uh uh uh i don't want to call it a pitch but like you know hey man like it's time to get off your fucking ass like let's go like how do we start to get through to those people to show them you don't have to be a power lifter you don't need to be benching 400 pounds that's not what we're talking about but just get in the gym and move some weights once in a while
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah, so I'll talk about that in one second because it's super important. I will go back to the people who are like, you're going to get hurt deadlifting. Listen, injuries happen all the time. People get hurt stepping off a curb. People get hurt picking up a bag of groceries. It happens all the time. If you think it's dangerous to deadlift, then you should see how dangerous it is to be weak.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Being weak is way more dangerous than getting stronger in the gym. And yeah, like, absolutely, you could get injured deadlifting in the gym. And then you can ideally recover from that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
But if you're training smart and intelligently, which is what we'll talk about in a second, your likelihood of getting injured is is teeny tiny minuscule, you're way more likely to get injured doing something when you're weak. Like trying to pick up a heavy grocery bag or trying to pick up some luggage or playing with your kids or all of a sudden you try and do a sprint or you change direction.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah. Honestly, I bet they do do that on purpose. Like, all right, this time of night. That honestly makes total sense. I'm not even a clothes guy. All my stuff, hand-me-downs, I love. That's nice. I really like it a lot.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And being weak is a way bigger risk factor for injury than getting strong. So, yeah, could you get hurt deadlifting? Yeah, especially if you're deadlifting like an idiot. But let's not fucking deadlift like an idiot. Let's do it intelligently. So like you were saying, you don't need to be deadlifting 800 pounds. You don't need to be bench pressing 400 pounds.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I'd like you to get in the gym two to three days a week. And if you want, like if you are listening to this right now and you can't do 10 good pushups from the floor, you're fucking weak. And that's not a dig. It's just like, cool, let's get you in the fucking gym. Like you could just start with your body weight. Let's get let's get you doing stuff. Let's get you using your body weight.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Let's get some dumbbells in your hands. You don't need a full full gym. You just like have some dumbbells, have your body weight, master your body weight. I mean, realistically, that's how we enter this two to three days a week. Master your body weight, like get some good squats in there, just body weight squats, maybe holding, holding, put some weight into a backpack.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Put some weight into a backpack, hold the backpack, squat, do some Romanian deadlifts, do some pushups, do some bodyweight rows. If you get a TRX strap, so you can do some rows that way, like just move your body and get stronger. You don't need to be doing 30 sets of exercises. You don't need to be having 12 different exercises per workout.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Two to three days a week, three to five exercises, and two to three sets of eight to 12 reps per exercise. You're good. That's it. Like, do that a couple days a week. It could be 30 to 45 minutes per workout, and you're set.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
One of the best things, best piece of advice I was ever given, I have a friend who does Spartan races. And I was saying, you know, man, I hate running. I know I need to do it. I don't do it enough a couple times a month probably, but I just don't like it. I was like, but I do want to get out and move more. And he sent me a link for a ruck vest.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
So I wear 20 pounds in the front and 20 pounds in the back. And when I take the dog for a walk, I just throw the stupid vest on and we go around the block a couple times and you come back and just that simple. I mean, literally nothing. I'm not pushing anything. I'm not pulling anything. I'm just wearing this vest, going for a couple laps around the neighborhood with the dog. I come back.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I've had this for two years. I wear it... So, I live in Albany, New York. So, in upstate.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Dude, no ankle pain. My foot pain's gone away. I never feel like... How many people do you know? They're like, oh, my back is tweaked. I was like, I haven't had back pain in years. This was probably three years ago that he said this to me. I haven't had back pain in years. Years. No back pain. Sit in a chair all day. I work in front of a computer. You know what I mean? That's my... No back pain.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And... Like these simple little things that you can add into your day can, can over time, like compound into crazy benefits for your body. And we just, like you said, we don't prioritize it. We're like, fuck it. I'll watch another show in DoorDash. The dog can just be on the chain. And it's like, ah, I just want to shake people sometimes. I'm like, dude, it's there for you. It's this easy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
You can do it. But to the deadlifting point, and I just want to go back to this because it's just on my brain and it's my podcast so I can do whatever the fuck I want. I'm like mad that I didn't learn about this exercise earlier in my life. I've never found an exercise and, you know, push back on me wherever this is wrong or right, whatever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Okay.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah, yeah. It's cold as shit. And my office is in my basement. And there's no heat. Like, not... You know, it's not real hot down here. And this thing is beautiful. And you throw it on all the time. And... But here's the... This is the crazy part. So, I got divorced three years ago. And, like, you maybe... I don't know what your relationship is like, but...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
But I've never found an exercise that you do not have to lift heavy, right? That doesn't have to be heavy. You just proper form, right? Work through the exercise with proper form.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
your entire body like i get done my grip is stronger my shoulders are stronger my back is stronger my legs my glutes my hips my abs my quads my hamstrings my calves my feet like all the way down one exercise right once a week you know because i'm not trying to be trying to break any records right once a week i do this exercise once a week is all you need and once a week it's all you need two more than that and you're more likely to get injured
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And I've never, I've never come across an exercise. And like you said, you can do RDLs. You can just do the exercise with no weight. Like you said, just use your body. And I just try to push my friends to say, guys, it's not where you start. I'm not advocating in any way, not being a fitness professional. This is where you start. But- Don't knock it till you tried it because it changes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Like all of a sudden you walk into a room and your shoulders are pulled back for the first time in 20 years because you have the back strength and the posture to actually do that. Now people look at you differently. They talk to you differently. You find people more, you know, just your entire way that you operate when you have that full body strength
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
You start to notice how people interact with you because you're not slumped over. You're not wearing clothes that are three sizes too big because you're trying to hide something that you don't like, right? You're just in this better position, which then equates down to the way you speak to your spouse, the way you speak to your kids, the way you handle situations.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Like, I just can't advocate for this enough, guys. And so I guess what are other exercises that we can be doing once we get past body weight?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
when we're getting started that these guys can get started with their things deadlifting I think is a little more advanced probably but like what are some of the deadlifting isn't more advanced man it's all about it's all about the variation that you use and where you start like when I'm working with someone who's brand new like I'll often just I'll put it this way what is a deadlift What is it?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
In the most basic form, what is a deadlift? Just pulling weight, standing up. You pick something up off the ground. It is the most functional exercise in the entire world because all you're doing is picking something up. That's it. How much weight can you pick up? That's what a deadlift is.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
So I think everybody is, I would hope everybody listening is advanced enough to be able to pick something up off the ground. And it doesn't have to be a barbell with 400 pounds. It could be a 10-pound, 15-pound, 20-pound kettlebell, right? It could be dumbbells. It could be doing an RDL with a reduced range of motion. Rather than starting on the ground, you start at your hips.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Either way, you could do an elevated deadlift, so it's a shorter range of motion. But pick something up. Let's pick shit up that's important because you're going to pick stuff up in everyday life. So I'd rather you learn how to do it properly and get strong in that range of motion.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
So I would say starting with a kettlebell deadlift or dumbbell Romanian deadlifts, really, really great starting point for people who don't know how to deadlift and haven't done and don't feel confident yet. So And if you don't know what those are, fucking Google, YouTube, kettlebell deadlift, dumbbell Romanian deadlift. Like you're going to figure it out really quick.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
My ex-wife, like, she had her hands in my clothing purchases a lot. So, like, since I've been divorced, I got to make all these decisions on my own, right? Okay, I'm a grown man, so I can do that. I have found, and I shit you not, the clothes I love the most, and I'm not a big clothes guy either, I buy off Instagram. Flux shoes. I found Flux shoes on Instagram. Fucking love them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
From there, I would say goblet squats, another dumbbell or kettlebell exercise. I mean, if we're talking about you're talking about the confidence you get from deadlifting. There isn't a single exercise that I've found increases people's confidence more than deadlifting.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
When you hit a deadlift personal record and you lift more weight, you feel like you are on top of the world and you could beat Jon Jones. It's just like you feel like you could just be an absolute demolition monster, which transfers into your everyday life. I mean, when you pick something up that you've never lifted before, you hit a PR, it's just like it's one of the greatest feelings ever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And it will carry over into your everyday life mentally, physically and emotionally. Another great one is any type of squat and the sort of the, the analogy or the metaphor here is like squats are very much like life and that when life gets you down, you got to stand the fuck back up, you got to carry the load and stand back up with that weight. You can't just let it crush you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And so yeah, you could do it with a barbell or just hold a dumbbell or a kettlebell right in front of your chest and do squats like it's a great starting point. lunges are an amazing thing. Bulgarian split squats are amazing. They're a little bit more advanced, but reverse lunges, static lunges, forward lunges, these are all amazing. Those are the major lower body exercises I recommend.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Deadlifts, Romanian deadlifts, squats, and lunges. Those are the major ones. There are many other exercises, but those are the priority, especially when you're beginning. And even as an advanced, those are your compound, those are the major lifts that you do. Upper body push-ups, I think everyone, men and women, should be able to do 10 push-ups relatively easily.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I think everyone should be able to do that. From there, we can do dumbbell bench press. If you want to do barbell bench press, you're welcome to. Overhead press, barbell, dumbbell, whatever. dumbbell rows, lat pull downs, I think I would like it if everyone is able to do chin ups.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Obviously, that's a little bit more advanced, I will say, I think the two greatest moves for confidence, deadlifts and chin ups. Like when you can strap some weight around yourself, or when you get your first ever chin up, like, oh my gosh, you feel on top of the world. Uh, so chin ups or weighted chin ups, uh, lap pull downs, dumbbell rows, barbell rows, seated cable rows.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
These are all like, and these are the exercises you'll use your entire life. Like they're really great. Strength training is very boring over a lot. It's you do the same shit. You just try and get stronger with it over time. So you do the same things over and over and over and over again. You have to be ruthlessly consistent with the basics nonstop.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I think one of the major reasons people struggle either to get started or to stay consistent is because they have this idea that they're supposed to look like a bodybuilder or look amazing or be like a professional athlete within a week, two weeks, a month. And this is why we see huge numbers of people going to the gym in January and then by January 16th, they're gone.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And that's not a made up date. Like there are one of the cool things about fitness trackers that we have now is we can track when people start being consistent with their exercise and when they fall off in January 16th is like the fall off date for the vast majority of people. They and it's because they're like, I'm going to do it every day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I'm going to work out seven days a week and I'm not going to have a fucking carb ever again. And after two weeks of January, they're like, all right, I can't do this anymore. It's like, okay, well, what if instead of doing every single day, you went two to three days a week and you did that for five years straight? Like you'd be better off than 98% of the people in the world.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
So stop trying to go seven days a week. Stop trying to go as hard as you possibly can. Just go a couple days and be consistent. And that ruthless consistency will yield tremendous results.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
So I go to this absolute steakhead gym. It's my favorite gym I've ever been to. It's called ABC Fitness. Shout out if anyone's listening locally here in the Albany area. And it's filled with 22-year-old steakheads. Just steakheads everywhere. That's all it is. There's like two chicks and 200 steakheads. And they're just flexing in the mirror.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And I love it because I'm like the old guy there and I'm surrounded by all this energy because they're all, you know, slamming weights and slapping fives and flexing and shit. I love her. I think it's great.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Don't buy another pair of shoes. They're my favorite shoes. Other than I have a pair of... No bulls that I wear for lifting, but, like, other than that, flat bottom, so, like, zero drop, wide sole. Yeah. Dude, find him on Instagram. This sweatshirt, this is, like, $45 on Instagram. Like, it just... Instagram's got my, like, me so dialed in. It's unbelievable.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And I was just a hundred percent. And you're out all these 22 year olds who are just like, their test is going crazy. That's why your test went up.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Uh, uh, so I, so I hit my personal deadlift goal or my post-traumatic deadlift PR four 65. Hmm.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Nice.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Pull it. So happy. Took me two years to get there. You know, bam. Just felt fucking amazing. Ah, bam. Put it down. Great lift. Solid. Felt amazing. And the kid behind me comes up because it's got like six deadlift platforms kind of all near each other. Comes up, slaps. He's like, dude, great lift. Was that a PR? I was like, yeah. It's like awesome work. Turns around. He's got 505 pounds for 10.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Whoa. like this right just rips 10 like just blows me and i turn around i look at him i'm like bro you couldn't have waited like five minutes like you just couldn't have given me like five minutes before you just like threw my shindig you know we're laughing or whatever it's the worst
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah, it's the worst. And I was like, oh, humility. That's what that feels like. Gotcha, right? And I just did my daily dose. I want to transition to sleep because you mentioned it a couple times. And about six months ago, I started wearing a whoop strap. I usually like this stuff because I find sometimes you over-index on the numbers and less on the attributes. However, I have found...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
By being diligent in the journaling feature of, like, what I do and how it impacts my sleep, it's been insane what I've figured out impacts and doesn't impact my sleep. And then... It has helped me. I was getting, on average, when I started, like, five and a half, six hours of sleep. And now I'm getting, like, 7.15, say. That's awesome.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Makes a big difference.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I feel great. And frankly, my body, like, 7.15 is really just where my body's like, hey, you're up, right? It's not, like, I'm not trying to get more. But maybe talk to me about...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
just how sleep impacts our overall fitness and our energy and all these different things, because I do not think there is enough conversation outside of the fitness and wellness world about, I think people are like, oh, I get six hours sleep. I'm just one of those people. And I'm like, no, you're fucking not.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Like the number of people from my research that are actually can live off five, five and a half, six hours sleep consistently and be successful, I think is very small and versus the people who try to pretend like they can live off that and they just get used to this constant state of tired.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah. And then they're always over caffeinating. And what a lot of people don't understand is that many of these people who say that they only sleep four or five or even six hours a night, like, OK, are they taking Adderall? Are they taking Vyvanse? Are they on methamphetamines? Like there's like if you're prescribed that, that's fine.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
But people are prescribed testosterone and you'd probably want to know if someone was taking testosterone to see like what's going on from a muscular growth perspective. It's like if someone is on that, then they have an advantage in that they are literally on a methamphetamine to keep them awake more.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It's like, OK, so that's if you're not taking those, then you you're going to be more tired if you're not getting sufficient sleep. It's just important to be aware of that, not to mention the genetic component. But what's been – you're 100% right in terms of – so I have a Garmin. I track a lot of stuff as well.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I don't like to pay attention to the numbers very much because I'd rather just go based on how I feel. What I will say has been a massive eye-opener. It's the first time – you don't tell it when you drink or anything. You're not saying, hey, I'm drinking right now. When I drink alcohol –
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And if it's just like one beer or a couple beers, one to two beers or like one glass of wine, I don't notice a difference. But if I go past that, My Garmin knows. It knows that I drank too much and my sleep quality will be shit, which is crazy because it took that consistently of realizing, oh, I want to look into this more.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And a lot of times people, they say, oh, I'm going to drink so I can get a good night of sleep. Well, just because you get tired when you drink doesn't mean you're getting high quality sleep. Your sleep quality actually goes to shit when you drink. So not only are you getting the negative effects of alcohol, you're also getting the negative effects of lack of sleep.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah. Their trainers are nice, but, um... These, dude, these just zero drop fucking kick around shoes are awesome.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And I mean, this is sort of a crude analogy, but it does work. It's like, okay, if you have your laptop, right? And I'm on my laptop right now, or your phone for whatever the example is. You use your phone all day. It might have a lot of productivity with it. You get a lot done. But if you don't charge it, It doesn't matter how productive you were the day before because now you can't use it again.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It's gone. The battery's over. If you are not charging your battery, if you are not getting enough sleep, then it doesn't mean your workouts are worthless. It doesn't mean your nutrition is worthless, but it does mean that your battery will not go up to 100% anymore. Your battery, maybe it'll get up to 25% or 30%. It's like...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Okay, so you're putting in all this work and you're now more tired and you're only getting like a 30% charge. What the fuck is the point of that? And for what, by the way? So you can scroll on Instagram more so you can look at like at porn. So what for what? What are you lacking in this sleep for?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
What really is going into your life that is making your life better because that you're only getting now five, six hours of sleep? Put your phone down, go to bed, and it will actually it will massively enhance your ability to make progress. And it will take you from a 30% charge to a 90 to 100% charge.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
So since I've been tracking, so I have a diagnosed hyperactive bipolar. So I'm constantly either hyper manic or manic at all times, including right now, which I think I'm somewhere in the middle. And I did a test. So I've never been a big pot smoker.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
But I really – there are days when even when I'm doing all the right things, I get to the evening and, like, the body – my body does not – like, if I'm hypermanic when I get – if I jump to hypermanic late in the evening, I literally just can't calm down. Like, my brain is going 1,000 miles an hour. There's not a lot I can do for it. And I've tried a bunch of different stuff.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Hey, we're off. Who knew this was going to be a big ad for the Instagram shop? All right. With all that being said, dude, I want to talk about something. I want to start in a place, and you take this or wherever you want, but I'm going to hit you with a scenario that I know a lot of dudes, so I'm 43, a lot of dudes my age are dealing with. and here's the scenario.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Jordan has since gone off on his own, and just the way that he delivers content speaks to me personally. It is no nonsense, no bullshit, straight down the middle content that is going to hit you right in the easy comfort, but not in that like influencer way. Not in that like, look at how amazing I am way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
So my doctor actually said, try pot, right? Try smoking – she's like, try a little J before you go to bed. And I was like, okay, I'll try anything, right? It's – No problem. So what I found is, yes, it does narrow my world and it does help me calm down. But to your point, I get shitty ass sleep.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
So it's like, OK, so what I rather ride the hype, the manic wave, maybe come back downstairs and get a little more work done and then just eat the fact the next day that I'm going to be a little tired.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And maybe be productive or I'm zero productive when I'm high and go to sleep a little earlier, but then sleep like shit throughout the night, which is, which I have literally the, the cool thing about this is it literally shows you where you're at and when you drop into REM. So I can see for the first four hours of sleep, I'm basically not even recharging.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It's like the, like to your analogy, the battery's plugged in, but no juice is getting into them. Correct. Yes, exactly. Yeah. To my girlfriend's chagrin, the number one indicator of high-quality sleep, sexual activity before bed. Number one. Out of all the things I've done, and that is not a joke.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I'm not trying to be funny, although it may be for some people, and it may be unfortunate for some of the women out there if you're not into that with your husband or partner or whatever. But the number one, number one absolute positive indicator, and my whoop strap will confirm it,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
is sexual activity before bed, drop almost immediately into high quality sleep and will sleep for a tremendous amount of time and I'll be 90, 100% recharged. And guys, if you aren't doing some of the things that Jordan and I are talking about, you most likely haven't felt 90 to 100% recharged in a while. The first time I saw like 93% on my whoop for recharge,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Dude, it was like being 15 years old again. My brain is functioning. I'm like ready to crush the day. I'm like doing pushups in between calls. I'm like, let's fucking go. Like, oh my God, it's crazy, guys. We operate. I think most people are probably just operating 40 to 60% sleep recovery and they just think that's normal and it doesn't have to be. That's the scary part.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Correct. It doesn't have to be. And I also think people and by the way, I struggle with this is constant dopamine coming in through social media and scrolling. And so when you were talking about either being hyper manic or smoking weed, something that I try and do is like, because the default is any, any boredom, boom, pick up your phone, facing your phone.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It's like, keep the phone away and like pick up a book or like, uh, if you can like go on a walk, listen to an audio book, um, something that doesn't have light in your face. And, uh, it's a, it's reading a book. You still get a dopamine hit, but it's not like scrolling on Instagram or Tik TOK. It's a much, much, much less of a hit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And that can be super helpful, uh, for improving, uh, the sleep that like the bedtime routine, uh, Which can then help get better sleep as well.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah. Yeah. It's the whoop strap. When I first got it, it was kind of like a Hail Mary pass. Like, hey, I'm struggling to kind of figure out why I'm low energy and testosterone thing. And I was like. I've heard people talk about it. It's not super expensive. I'll try it. And I can't take it off now. Like I'm, I'm, I'm, it's also becomes, and I think we all need to find these things in our lives.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Like it becomes a reminder, Hey, do the right thing, man. Like you're going to get yelled at in the morning. If you don't do the right thing, like it's going to blink in your face. Hey, you didn't do the right things yesterday or last night or whatever. Like you were, you were screwing around yet. You had three beers instead of zero beers or one beer, right? Like,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And it has started, you know, the first couple months, it definitely doesn't change what you do. But, like, as you start to feel better more consistently, you're like, maybe I don't need to have a drink tonight. Maybe I'm good. Like, I don't need to do that. Like, I'm all right. I would rather wake up.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It's not worth it anymore. It's, like, at first you think you can't live without it. It was funny. I remember I worked with a client. This must have been 2016, 2017. And she came to me and she was like she was having like 12 to 15 drinks a week. And and she was like, I'm not willing to give it up. I was like, OK, I mean, that's up to you. We worked for the first three months.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
She made zero progress, didn't lose any weight. Like what? And she was like, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck? And I was like, here, I have a challenge. You don't want to give up 12 to 15 drinks a week, which is fine. But here's what I would say is if you can't give it up for 30 days, then I would say you've got a drinking problem.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
So how about for 30 days, just no alcohol, just for 30 days. After 30 days, go back to doing what you're doing. She's like, fine. In 30 days, she made more progress and like she made a huge amount of progress. She literally made none in the first three months they worked together. Huge amount of progress. And she was like, holy shit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Last January, it's cold as shit in upstate. We don't see the sun for, like, six months, okay? Do you still live in New York, or where are you now?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
She was like, it literally was all it wasn't just the alcohol, it was the alcohol and then what she did after she drank all the alcohol. Yeah. And then and so from there, she didn't quit alcohol altogether because it was still important in her life. But she went from 12 to 15 drinks a week to like three to five drinks a week.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And then she continued to make amazing progress while still being able to drink in moderation. And so what happened there was it took her forever. feeling and getting the results to finally be motivated enough to realize that that amount of alcohol just wasn't worth it for her. So it's people wonder, it's like, well, how do you get motivated?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It's like, well, you don't wait for motivation to happen. You got to take action. And then from those that actually get results and from those results, then you get motivated to take more action. It's people wait for the motivation. It's like, if you're waiting for motivation, you're gonna be waiting forever. You've got to take action when you're not motivated. And then from there, you get results.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And then with those results, you get more motivated.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah, it's almost as if we're waiting for something to give us permission to make the change. I had a buddy say to me one time, and this was a while ago, and he had all the things, overeating, big pot smoker, big drinker, and he's like, I'll change when something happens to me. And I'm like, bro... What the... What? That's stupid.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Dallas, okay, so screw you, but good for you. I know you used to be in New York when you were a wick, so you understand the weather in the winter.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
You're going to change when you have a problem, like an artery burst or a fucking aneurysm, then you're going to change? Like, why don't you just dial it back 10% and see how much better you feel? Like, right? Just start there. And, you know, again, I'm not a fitness professional and I'm no one's coach, so I'm not trying to, like, make people... You know, I'm just trying to help them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
But, like, I do feel like a lot of us are sitting there... excusing away things we know are maybe excessive. And again, I'm not going to judge anybody. I like to have a few drinks. Like I said, I will occasionally, when I do need to land the ship, still spark up a J or something just because I know that that will help me at certain times. But I use them as tools.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I think of them as tools, not as I'm doing this because I need to change my mental state. It's more like, they're tools in the tool belt to help me be successful as much as I can. And if I understand the impact that they have on me, then I can use them accordingly as necessary, right? If that makes sense.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Versus like, I need some life event to happen to give me permission to start making changes in my life. It's like, that's not the right way to look at it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah, I also feel like for someone saying that, there is a very often people don't think it's going to happen to them. I feel that that's not going to happen to me. That wouldn't happen to me. People have this false idea that like that happens to other people, not to me. And a really common one with this is blood pressure.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm used to that, like, winter drag. Completely used to it. Last January, it's like I hit a brick wall. I just, it was like... I'm like, dude, I'm in shape. At that time, I was lifting a lot. I'm in great shape. I'm like, I shouldn't feel this way. And I hear one of the gurus, Huberman or someone, talk about testosterone and these at-home tests you can do. So I'm like, fuck it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I talk about blood pressure all the time because it's literally called the silent killer because in the United States, it kills over 700,000 people a year. Um, And it's because they don't know they have it. They have they don't know that they have it. There are no symptoms of a high blood pressure.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And so you you maybe you grow up and you hear like your dad has high blood pressure and so all of that. But you don't you don't think that you're ever going to have it. And you often might not even consider yourself as someone who maybe you're you're fit and you work out and da da da. High blood pressure doesn't discriminate. It doesn't matter if you're fit and healthy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
That can help, but there are genetic components to it. There are so many things that impact it outside of your current health habits or your body weight. There are people who are overweight who have good blood pressure, and there are people who are super lean and look healthy and fit that have very high blood pressure. And people just have this idea that, oh, it's not going to happen to me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And so if that's you, I mean, good luck. Because you're gambling. You're gambling with your life. And you're giving yourself a gamble, being like, well, that's not going to happen to me. I pray it doesn't happen to you. I truly pray it doesn't happen to you. But statistically, at some point, it's going to happen. Something's going to happen, statistically.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Otherwise, people would be living forever. And we can look at the data, look at the statistics, and if we look at your health habits, look at your body fat, look at your diet, you're going to become a statistic sooner rather than later if you don't at least start checking it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Jordan, you have, in my opinion, the best, most honest, real Instagram account when it comes to health, wellness, fitness, mindset that I've come across. I'll fanboy for just a second and let everyone know I've been a fan for a very long time. I think the way you approach it, I obviously love your style, but...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
dude, I, I just pray that you keep doing this work and it doesn't seem like you're going to stop, but I pray that you do because I think your voice and your approach is what we need right now. We need more people who are cutting through so much of the bullshit, so much of the nonsense. And, uh, I just appreciate the hell out of you, man.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I, this conversation I've been waiting for for a while and just, uh, So glad we got, I talked to you another four hours, but I want to be respectful of your time and of the audience. If people want to just get into your world, where's the best place? And if they want to work with you, how do they do that?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah, so I'll start. Thank you for the kind words. I sincerely appreciate it. It means the world to me. I wouldn't think about hiring me or buying anything from me. I would just find my free content first and see if that's helpful because that's really everything you need before you decide if you want to pay me. I have a podcast, the Jordan Syatt Podcast, and my Instagram, Syatt Fitness.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
If you could put it in the show notes, that'd be great. Everything will be in the show notes, guys. Yeah, that's it. Thank you. Awesome. Bro, appreciate the hell out of you. Thank you so much. Thank you, man.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I'm out of options. And I go get it. And my testosterone is 70, which puts me in the sixth percentile of all men my age.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
That's wild. I don't think I've ever heard of someone's being that low.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Bro, high-protein diet, workout constantly, like, eat good. I do all the things. Like, for the most part.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Above average healthy 40-year-old guy. Like, way above average. That's crazy. In all their areas, 70%. So I started taking oral... I use a company called Maximus. I don't know. There's a bunch of companies out there. It doesn't matter. So I wanted to start our conversation around, one, the role that testosterone plays, particularly in men's lives. And...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Outside of like taking a supplement like I do now, it's a natural – it increases the natural production of testosterone in the body before you go TRT. It's like a pre-TRT thing. Yeah. Like, what can we be doing?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Because when I shared this with some of my other buddies that, like, coach you sports, because I coach my kids and stuff, dude, two or three other women got tested, and they were all super low. And not as low as me, but they were lower than they should be. So, like, what are we not doing? Like, what are the things that guys...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
my age you know 8 30s early 40s mid 40s can be doing to kind of like it's changed my whole life man i'm a completely different dude today than it was a year ago because i figured that out where's your test at now 700 700 holy shit you 10x it that's crazy that's and it's what what are you taking I could go up and get the bottle.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
No, it's okay. No worries. I don't know.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It's okay. It's like inclinamide, E-N-C something.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Okay. Okay.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So every day I put it under my tongue. And, you know, it's just like a little tablet or whatever. Just take one a day. And I've been doing it since March. And the last time I got tested was August, and I was at 700.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
That's amazing. I mean, that's incredible. I mean, so just for context, like generally and whoever, whatever doctor you talk to is going to give you a different number. And I'm not a doctor, but generally like under 200 or 250 is is low. And. So to be 70 is very, very, very low. So I'm glad that you got tested and you got on something.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It is real world, real talk from a guy who has a real family, who really works out, who really was a weightlifting champion, but is, as he says, I think he says he's like five, eight. I you know, gifted by God individual who then tells you all these things you should be doing. This is a real guy doing the work, training real people and delivering that message in a real way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And as long as you're continuing to be monitored by a doctor or a medical professional, that's the most important thing. The major thing is a lot of people, what a lot of guys will do is they'll just say I've got low testosterone in the same way that often women will say I've got a slow metabolism. But they don't actually get checked for it. And so what you did is you did the right thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
You got tested. And that's what you need. That's like the first step. You have to go get tested. Because a lot of people are very quick to go the TRT route. And I don't have anything wrong with TRT inherently. But that shouldn't be your first step. First, let's look at number one is your sleep. Actually, before you even sleep, how's your body fat?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
If you have excess body fat, that's one of the major... Never mind the major risks of dying early, heart disease, cardiovascular disease, so many other health issues from having excess body fat. But if you have high body fat, your testosterone is going to be at risk of being significantly lower. On top of that, drinking a lot of alcohol.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Now, some in moderation is fine, but if you're drinking a lot week to week, that's a major problem. And with that often comes poor sleep and often will also come excess body fat. So Higher body fat, minimal sleep, too much alcohol, smoking. These are all things that just wreck your testosterone and your health as well, but especially your testosterone. And they go hand in hand.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Not lifting weights. And a lot of dudes for some reason hate on cardio, but good cardiovascular health will improve your testosterone as well. So they all go hand in hand. But the major controllable factors are body fat, sleep, alcohol. Biggest ones by far from there. Get that under control. And for you, like clearly you're you're lean, you're strong, you're muscular.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It sounds like everything was already taken care of. There might have been some either lifestyle, whether it was the stress from who knows the divorce stress from whatever was going on in your life, because stress can have a major impact on as well. Combined with I mean, if sleep was an issue as well, that also could have severely impacted it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
But, um, uh, the major controllable factors, you want to get those taken care of first for you, since you clearly were like in such good shape already, it was probably like, what the fuck is it? Oh, you know, another thing is vitamin D, right? So if you're not getting sunlight, that can be a major component of it as well.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And, you know, you're an Albany, so you were just coming out of winter when, when you got checked as well, that also probably had a major component, assuming you weren't already supplementing with vitamin D three. Um, Either way, most dudes need to get their basics in check before they start taking anything extra. And this goes for everything like this isn't just for testosterone or TRT.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
This goes for every supplement like creatine. For some reason, as soon as someone wants to get healthy and fit, the first place they go is GNC or Vitamin Shop or whatever supplement store. It's the first thing they do. It's like, how about you go to the gym at least three times a week? How about you get eight hours of sleep every night?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
How about you try and get one gram of protein per pound of your body weight? Do that for a year before you go to the supplement store because you're going to drop hundreds of dollars at the supplement store, and then you're not going to fucking use it. And it's in the name. It's supplemental. It supplements an already good diet. It supplements an already good sleep schedule.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It supplements an already good workout program. If you're taking these supplements and you're not doing the right thing, then you're not going to make a difference. And before you look at the fat burners and that nonsense, those don't work. If they did, everyone would take them. If those worked, then GLP-1s and WeGoV and Ozempic wouldn't be a fucking thing right now if the fat burners worked.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Stop buying that shit. It's a waste of money. No one ever was like, you know what got me that six-pack? It's the fucking green tea fat burner that I took from... Like, stop it. Get your stuff in order before you go the supplement route. And then once you've been consistent at least a year, at least, and usually I like to say three to five years, then you can start doing this other stuff.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
You're different because you're already in shape. You're already fit. So I'm glad that you got checked, but... First, get checked and then get everything, all the controllables under control. And then from there, you can see what else you need to do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And it absolutely resonates with me. And I know it will resonate with you. So with all that being said, I give you your last Christmas present, Jordan Saeed. You can curse. You can tell stories. Get contextual. All good. There's no art rails on a conversation.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah, I have a feeling that it was stress because that winter, I had founded a company and I exited from it in November of 2023. So maybe like three or four months before that. And there was just a lot of tumult. I think it had to do with stress, but it could have been vitamin D. Dude, we get 66 days of sun here. And I probably wasn't taking enough vitamin D, but man, I was shocked.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
When I saw that number, I was like, holy shit. And for those, for guys, for listening, like... I'm a different human today than I was a year ago. Like just in the way that I feel it's, it's insane. And, and then you talk about like that negative and, and I'd love for you to comment on this. Like, it's like, it's, It's such a negative cycle, right? So like, my testosterone's not there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
I'm feeling down. So I'm not... I stop working out as much as I want to because I don't have that natural energy and I'm questioning things. And then you don't start sleeping well. And then, like you said, then you start grasping for solutions. And I hate that. Like, I hate...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
going anything that isn't like natural first you know that's tends to be my way and but you do it's so easy to start going well maybe it's this supplement or maybe i just need you know maybe it's uh because i'm not taking uh what's that greens athletic greens if i was taking athletic greens everything would be fine you know like yeah it's it's not so easy to go down that rabbit hole
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah. I mean, the reality is, like, it's much easier to take a pill than it is to work out. And it is to put your fucking phone down and go to bed. And it is to stay hydrated and to get your steps in. It's much easier to take a pill. A lot of people like to point to individual ingredients, like, seed oils or whatever it is, these major problems.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It's like, you know what the major problem is compared to...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
any other time in history is that right now it's like you've got uber eats on your phone you you can you barely get any movement in before we had to hunt for our food uh now you don't even have to go to the grocery store if you don't want you can order your groceries directly to your door you don't have to move you can sit down in front of your blue light phone and look at it all day all night and you don't move you don't lift you don't do anything physical whatsoever it's like
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It's not the seed oils that's your problem. It's like you don't move. You don't lift. You don't train. You don't sleep like you. You are a sloth. That's the problem. Get up. Do something. Stop looking for the most convenient thing and start looking for the most effective thing, which is movement.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah. So you hold a bunch of powerlifting records and have been a powerlifter for a while. I would love for you to talk about the impact of moving weight. I played sports, but I always lifted in connection to what I needed to do for that sport. I never was a powerlifter. I just never got into it until COVID hit. And I heard Tim, he was Kobe Bryant's trainer, Michael Jordan's trainer.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Tim, fuck, he's got two great books, Relentless and Winning, and I can't remember his last name. That's going to kill me. That's all right. I'll awkwardly wedge it in in post-production. But I heard him on an interview one time go... Somebody asked him a question, and he said... Guys need to move weight. And like, he just stopped.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And like, I think that was like, it was so point blank the way he lived it. So I said, fuck it, I'll start deadlifting. So I've gotten really into deadlifting. And I try to explain to my friends that, the impact that it has on my body in a positive way. And I can't do it justice.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
So I would love for you to talk about your journey with powerlifting, why you got into it, what it's been like, and then maybe help some of the people listening who maybe just... Their exercise, though any exercise, as you said, is good, right? Their exercise may be just cardio or they're taking like a HIIT class.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
And why pushing weight or pulling weight, whatever, is such an important part of the mix of really kind of hitting your performance and just being healthy in general.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
Yeah, I mean, I got into it. I wrestled from when I was eight years old. So I started and I did a bunch of different sports, soccer, wrestling, baseball, but wrestling was the one that I really I loved the most. And I started lifting because of that. Listen, it's really important to do cardio as well. That's important. But if you're not lifting, it's a big problem.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Deadlifts Won’t Break You—Weakness Will: Why Lifting Isn’t Optional After 40
It's a big, big, big, big, big problem. If I had to rank the most important first, I would say the most important for health and longevity is going to be walking. It's steps. It's movement. That's by far the most important thing. If we look at the longest living people in the world, it's not powerlifters. It's not CrossFitters. It's not people who do HIIT or burn boot camp or Orange Theory.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
I didn't realize how terrible I was at sales until at 27 years old, I was sitting in my father-in-law's office listening to him fire me. Selling him on why I should keep my job and why it was in the best interest of him, the company, and myself to do so was one of the all-time best sells of my career.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Sales principle number four, future pacing for commitment. Now, we're going to take you all the way to the end of the process here that we teach at Master of the Clothes, which is asking a very simple question, what would make this relationship a success today?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
to you now this question doesn't have to be at the end it could be towards the beginning if that was important to you or you tested it and found that it worked better for you there i've always found that ending a call with that question provided the most value to me and gathering additional information as well as setting a tone for what is to come after as well as setting a tone for what is to come after we finish our conversation especially the initial conversation
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
So the psychological principles here are future pacing and autonomy preservation. All these principles are mouthfuls, but what it's doing is it's empowering the prospect to visualize working with you and working with you successfully, right? They're now in their brain. When you ask this question, they're thinking, well, what would it look like?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
And when they visualize a high quality, valuable, successful relationship with you, Their brain doesn't know the difference between the visualization and reality. So now they're starting to convince their brain that working with you is going to be successful. And if they give you some valuable nuggets, you now know what you need to do to be successful in a relationship with them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Stephen Covey again, begin with the end in mind, right? We are beginning the relationship, this first call with our customer. We are beginning the relationship. this first call with our prospect, by having them imagine the end. So incredibly powerful. Future pacing increases prospect commitment by 33%. So think about this. If we use active listening,
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
I promise you there is not a natural sales bone in my body. Every bit of my sales success over a 20-year career, not only personally, but also teaching this to the teams that I was either an executive over or were part of companies that I have founded and sold, I have had to learn the hard way through business.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
which increases close ratio by 19%, and we use future pacing, 33% increase in close, we are now at 52% increase in close ratio just by sandwiching our initial prospect call with an open-ended question that gets them talking and then closing that conversation with another open-ended question, which asks them to imagine the future. 52% increase in close ratio. Just from those two principles alone.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
So the next time you get to the end of a call, very simply ask your prospect, hey, I have one more question for you. What would make this relationship successful for you? Try it. what you get out of it is going to be incredible. I mean, I've had people say things to me like, Oh my God, I've never been asked that question before. Or geez, let me think about that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Or, you know, man, if you just, if I just had a way that in 911 type situations, I could reach out to someone and knew they were going to pick up the phone, man, that would make everything. Okay. Right. And they're giving me the things that are important to them that, And if if I believe that I can make good on those things, I now can present them back to them in a proposal.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
And they've told me it's exactly what they want. I'm not guessing at what they want. I'm not hoping that what I present is what they want. They've literally told me exactly what they want. And again, if I'm able to provide it, I can put it in a proposal and know it's going to be valuable to them. Future pacing is a killer. All right. Psychological principle number five. Trust through transparency.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
The exact principles are reciprocity and information symmetry. By giving all the details up front, we reduce fear and create goodwill. So the core idea here is we want to share everything about the process. There is no industry, no business in which we are the gatekeepers to information. That day has come and gone.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
They can chat GPT, they can Google, they can Claude, they can wherever their preferred research venue is. Find out just about everything that you know about the business outside of your personal experience. So by gatekeeping information or gatekeeping steps in the process or gatekeeping your quote unquote secret sauce from a prospect, all you're doing is creating a gap in trust.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
You're not being coy. You're not being clever. You're not adding suspense. You're creating a gap in trust. Quote from John Gisram, transparency, honesty, kindness, good stewardship, and even humor work in businesses at all times. 82% of buyers say they are more likely to purchase when the salesperson provides complete transparency about products and pricing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
how we've done this and how we teach it is by simply giving our prospects everything that we get now in insurance that looks like you know as an insurance agent or broker you are not actually selling a product that it comes from your company you are an agent or a broker so you are sourcing products from other vendors in this place in this case insurance carriers
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
boots on the ground, battle tested, putting words out into the market, using different phrases, using different timing, using different psychological tactics in order to figure out what worked best. What were the set of tumblers that you needed to use in order to unlock more sales? This is really great stuff. Number six is one that is going to blow you away.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
And then you are providing them in, you know, kind of packaged up in the way that best suits your prospect. Now, what that looks like is taking, say, the actual proposals that come from the vendors, even if they're ugly, even if they're messy, even if they're dot matrix style and showing them to the prospect as part of your proposal. Because what that does, it shows true transparency.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
They are getting everything you get. There's nothing that you're hiding behind a curtain. Now, I know that a lot of us want to take what we get from our vendors or from our product team even and package them up into fancy portfolio proposals with graphics and logos and charts. And it looks super great, except it doesn't feel real. It feels like you manufactured it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
So what we found, and again, this is over thousands and thousands of prospects that I've worked with just in my own business, not to mention all the sales teams that I worked with in the previous 15 years of my career. This idea is very foreign because we want to make it ours. We want to brand it us. None of that matters. They don't care about your brand.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Your prospect doesn't care about your brand. They have a problem and they want it solved. And they are hoping that you are the person that can solve that problem. And if you can say, here is my solution. Here is why I recommend it. And here are the exact details of the products that I am selling you in the way that I get them. Your prospects will appreciate that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
It will be a pattern disrupt for them because no one else does that. And it will ultimately build that trust bind that you need to maximize your close ratio. Our sixth and final psychological principle, and this is the one that I teased out at the front because...
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
So this principle I'm about to give you, a lot of sales professionals that I've worked with, they'll tell me that, well, we can't do that with our product. We don't have that ability to use that type of psychological principle in our business. And that's 100% not true. And I'm going to explain to you how and why. The psychological principle at face value is the red velvet rope effect.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
The actual principles are scarcity and exclusivity. By limiting options, we create triggers for desire. Now, you may be saying, Ryan, I don't have any ability to limit options. Well, what you can do and what we teach is a very simple framework for doing so that creates psychological principle number six.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Our final principle, this is the principle that I teased out at the beginning of the show because so many of the sales professionals that have either worked on teams that I've been on or that I've consulted with or coached, they'll tell me, well, we can't do that here. We don't have this ability to provide that type of, to use that tactic in our business. And that's 100% not true.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Every sales professional in every business has the ability to use this psychological principle. So what is that principle? It's the red velvet rope effect. We're creating scarcity and exclusivity. Now, how do we do that? Well, if you actually have a limited number of products or a limited time offer, et cetera, then those are kind of easy and very common scarcity and exclusivity plays.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
But I want to give you a high level play that you can make, that you can use, that is honest and real, but works with every product, every service in every market. Now, we don't want to oversell this principle. And this is another mistake that a lot of sales professionals will make. They will try to oversell the red velvet rope.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
It is one that so many sales professionals don't actually think that they can provide. And we're going to talk about how you can use that six psychological principle, regardless of what business you're in, regardless of what type of product or service you are selling. Before we get there, I also want to make a big announcement. My Master of the Clothes sales course is now officially available.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
They'll try to make it seem like, you know, it is this amazing, incredible thing. And if only and blah, blah, blah. And again, that feels to use card sales. It feels it feels like they're being gimmicked. It feels like you're you're just trying to play them. That's not how we want to do this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
So how I teach it in the master of the close and how I would recommend you use this principle is in a casual and conversational way. You say something to the effect of once you've heard what their problems are and potentially what solution, you know, and in your mind, you kind of have an idea of what solutions might be available. You say something to the effect of I have three markets.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
I have three products. I have three vendors, whatever relates to your particular business that I know is could potentially work for you. In insurance, I'd say, I know there are three insurance carriers that will write your business. I know for sure. And then here's the hook. There is one in particular that I really hope we can get you into, but I won't know until I get your information back.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Because up until this point, we haven't asked for revenue or whatever the numbers are that you need, how old you are, whatever those demographic or firmographic information is that you need in order to actually provide them with a proposal. We haven't asked any of that yet.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
What we're doing is letting them know by saying we have three markets, three products, three vendors, et cetera, that I know could potentially work is that we know the marketplace. We're aware of what the market is. We're experienced. We're committed. We understand what the marketplace is.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
And by then saying there is one in particular that I really hope you get into, that I really hope we can match for you, by saying there's one in particular, you are creating a red velvet rope scenario. Now, you're not promising you can get them in. You're not guaranteeing you can get them in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
You're saying there is one product, one service, one market, one vendor in particular that I hope we get you into. But we won't know until we get your information back. It's simple. It's easy. It's low pressure. Right. You're not they don't have to make any upfront commitments to get in. Right. You're not hooking them. They don't have to make a down payment on something.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
You're telling them once I get a better understanding of the exact details of your business or your personal life, whatever I need, whatever information I need specifically. Once I get that information, I know I have a solution. And there's one solution that's kick ass that I really hope we get you into. And that creates the red velvet rope effect.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
It makes that prospect feel like, oh, I could be special. There might be a special thing out there for me. There might be something out there that I've never heard of that actually works better than anything I could have imagined, right? They start, they start rolling around in their head, all these amazing scenarios that you potentially could provide for them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
And again, if somehow you can't come up with the best fit, whatever, I mean, that's all part of selling, right? Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but again, The idea here is that prospect is hooked in and now waiting.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
They're salivating for your proposal because they know that there could potentially be a special solution in there that you're going to provide to them that solves their problems and reduces all their concerns. And that's all you're trying to do as a salesperson. You're trying to make that prospect feel good about doing business with you and purchasing the products, services that you offer.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
The quote on this one that I pulled out, people want exclusivity. Everyone loves a VIP pass. That's from Gary Vaynerchuk. Offers framed with exclusivity are 2.3X more likely to convert than standard offers. Now, I would say that that's 100% true. I think for most of us who aren't selling say eBooks online, right? We can't do that in a super salesy, super high pressure commitment based way, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
That is why the more casual low pressure way in which, you know, I'm recommending you create the red velvet rope effect in your sales process. I believe probably produces an even higher return than 2.3 X because the The prospect is now imagining this great thing. They don't have to commit to the great thing before they see your proposal back. Very, very, very powerful.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
If you go to masteroftheclothes.com, this is the inbound process, step by step. broken out with a downloadable script with breakdowns of all the psychological principles used that you can print out and have on your desk. This is literally a template, a guide, a word for word, step by step process that you can have right in front of you on every single call to make sure that you are
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
So guys, this process that I've described in the psychological principles that we've gone through here, these are battle tested over a 20 year sales career. I've run multiple sales teams in technology and fitness and insurance and
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
i started and founded my own commercial digital insurance agency we're writing hundreds of accounts a month that's how we were able to write so many accounts in three years that we were ultimately acquired our growth trajectory was so high because of this process and and we battle tested we battle tested every word and every principle and i'm telling you literally down to sentences we would put things in take them out test
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
which which sales reps were using which scripts which sales reps were using which process where we were getting the highest return and you know these core principles came out as the defining principles that had to be in the process there are other things you can say there are other things you can do for sure but
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
If you skip these six psychological principles, you will be leaving an opportunity for your prospect to back out. What we found is that for a product that everybody hates, like insurance, right? Everybody hates insurance. No one is dying to buy an insurance policy. For insurance, we had people like literally salivating to get our proposal. They were like, hey, when's it going to come?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
When's it going to come? And that would be like hours after we talked to them. Even though we told them it might take them two days to get back to them. Crazy, just crazy stuff.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
But it all comes down to listening, understanding, confirming, building in trust, and ultimately creating that red velvet rope experience that locks them in, that gets them imagining what the future could be working with you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Their problem's gone, their challenge is solved, and they have someone that they can trust long-term to solve their problems in whatever particular venue it is that you're solving them over the lifetime of their need for it. Mastering sales is, guys, it's not about pushing product. Yes, you have to do the work. Yes, you have to make the calls. Yes, you have to create the content.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Yes, you have to create the ads. Whatever your way of generating opportunities is, you have to do that stuff. But if you then take those lead capture processes, that lead demand generation, and then you push product down people's face, sure, you're going to sell 10, 15, 20%.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
But if you want to close 80%, if you want to take your sales career to a whole nother level, you have to get out of pushing product and get into understanding psychology. And that's what I hope I've broken down for you today and given you some great ideas.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
One more time, if you want the exact process that we created that is applicable to any industry, use it in tech, use it in fitness, use it in insurance, over 20 years, go to masteroftheclothes.com and enter masteroftheclothes. the show 50 and you get a $50 off the course. It's a one-time payment. Love for you to check it out. If you have questions, leave them in the comments.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
If you haven't subscribed to the show yet, please do. If you're watching on YouTube, hit the like button. If you're listening on Spotify or Apple podcasts, whatever, leave a rating, leave a review that helps more people find this content of people more find the work that I'm trying to do here to help you guys grow, helps us build our community. I love you guys for being here. Go out and kick ass.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
This is the way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
going through the process in the right order, that you are hitting what I call kill shots, phrases that lock your customers in, gathering the right information, and ultimately delivering back to them a proposal that they can't say no to. Go to masteroftheclothes.com, and as a listener to this show, if you put in... the show 50, the show 50.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
It is 3 a.m.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Now, what we're going to talk about today are the psychological principles that came out of that conversation that I've implemented over multiple sales teams throughout my career and led to 12 years later when I founded my own company, writing 1,200 commercial insurance accounts in less than three years during COVID on an 80% plus close ratio across the board from every sales rep in the company.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
I'll have a link in the show notes, whether you're listening or watching on YouTube, you go to master of the clothes.com type in the show 50 for a $50 discount on the course. I give that to you guys because I love you for being listeners to this show.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
all right so let's get into what we're going to talk about today these six psychological concepts so what i have found over the course of my career is that most sales die because we are focusing on the wrong things specifically we're trying to come up with a pitch and no one wants to be pitched nobody
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
There's no one in the world who is like, you know, I just can't wait to have someone pitch me something today. Now, granted, if you're a VC investor or maybe being pitched by startups is part of your job, but that's different than being pitched to buy something.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Now, in order to maximize our close ratio, we have to forget about the pitch and go to the psychology of the person who is buying from you. We have to dig into what they need to hear, what they're trying to solve, what they're trying to get out of a conversation with you in order to close the deal.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
If we just hit them with some standard pitch that you get out of some antiquated sales process or playbook,
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
you're going to lose sales you're never going to maximize your close ratio because every individual is different so we need to develop a process that is malleable to each different type of customer or buying persona that we may interact with day to day week to week month to month throughout our career in order to do this
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
So when I say we got to get rid of the pitch, it means we also have to get rid of all the other sales shiny object syndrome issues that I come across and that we all have to deal with in our own lives, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Which is, you know, the next email drip campaign with the perfect subject hooks or, you know, DM sales strategy or the wedge in and make them feel terrible about their previous buying decisions or some standard, ordinary, generic set of discovery questions. These things are never going to get you there. We have to sculpt our process to the unique psychology of the buyer that we're talking to.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
And we're never going to truly know that until we get on the phone with them. So we need to have a process that is malleable to their buying persona, to their buying process, a process that we can adopt over and over. how we interact with that customer based on the feedback that we are getting in real time. And that's what I teach at the Master of Clothes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Now, the six psychological principles we're going to talk about today, you can use them. We do go deeper in the course into how these actually apply, but I want to make sure I get these in front of you because even if you do not understand
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
decide to go through the master of the close course, implementing these psychological principles into your current sales process will immediately increase your close ratio immediately. I absolutely guarantee that if you start to implement these, you will sell more business. So let's get into the meat and potatoes here. Our first psychological principle actually encompasses two.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
That is active listening and emotional labeling. Sales do not start with talking. They start with listening. Frankly, the entire process should be listening, particularly the beginning and the end, but especially the beginning. We need to listen. We need to be quiet and a simple conversational opening like what's going on? How can I help?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
And then going silent and letting them fill that void with all the things that got them to reach out to you or fill out a form or whatever. However, you began your interaction with them. There's a quote from Stephen Covey. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply. And this is where the psychological principle of active listening comes in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
today we are going to discuss those psychological principles what they are their impact and how you can implement them into your business let's go in a crude laboratory in the basement of his home
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
It means you are not listening to what they're saying so that you can then just barf your benefits on top of them. You're listening to hear what their problems actually are. Salespeople who actively listen during calls see a 19% increase in closing rates. 19%. One out of five. You're going to close one more deal for every five that you talk to if you just implement active listening. That's it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
That's all you need to do. Just actively listen. Just make sure that you are not interrupting them, you're not barfing benefits on them, and you will see a 19% increase in your closing ratio. One of the largest accounts that I ever wrote in my commercial insurance agency happened because this was something that was standard in our process.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
We had a customer fill out a form on our website and they were requesting what is a relatively simple, straightforward and relatively low cost insurance product that they were looking for. And instead of reaching out to them and immediately trying to solve the problem that they had filled out the form for.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
i reached out to them introduced myself and i asked what's going on how can i help and they then barfed seven different problems that they were having on me seven which is way beyond the norm normally we find you get two to three problems that the customer will will give you that are pertinent and high priority on their brain they had seven and to my sales benefit i had a product that could solve all seven of those benefits
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
And over the course of that conversation, listening and digging in, and we'll get to some of the other psychological principles that we use in a second. I was able to sell that person seven different products and it was an enormous sale and it came out of a form fill. And the only reason I knew that they had seven problems and not one problem was
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
was because I asked them a very simple open-ended question. What's going on? How can I help? And then I just listened to them explain all the issues that they were having day to day with their insurance program. I lead with this principle because it is so incredibly powerful. It's probably the most powerful psychological principle that you can use in sales. Active listening, open-ended questions.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Listen, not with the intent to reply, but with the intent to understand. Principle number two, paraphrase and confirm for trust. This, again, is bringing in two different psychological principles, tactical empathy and cognitive dissidence reduction, which is a mouthful. And this is a very, very simple principle to follow.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
After you're done listening, you may be taking notes on what their problems are. Paraphrase back to your prospect what you heard and have them confirm that the things you heard are the real problems. What it does, it shows that you care. It shows that you understand. It shows that you're there to add value, not just push product.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Because what most sales professionals will do after they hear the problems is they'll start solving the problems. And they haven't yet confirmed whether they truly understand what those problems are or not. This is a high trust, high respect psychological principle. This will drive immediate connection to your prospect. Ernest Hemingway has a quote on this. When people talk, listen completely.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Most never listen, right? Listen to hear the problems. Listen to everything they have to say. Do not interrupt them. Do not try to solve their problems. Do not barf benefits on them. Listen and then paraphrase and confirm. 73% of prospects say they trust a salesperson when they demonstrate a clear understanding of their challenges.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
So trust goes up for 73% of prospects when they believe that you truly understand what their challenges are. And it is simple as paraphrasing and having them confirm. And they may say, well, that's not exactly it. That's great. Now you're really digging into what the true problem is.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
And keep paraphrasing and confirming until you know what the problems are and they have confirmed that those are the real problems. Very, very powerful. Paraphrase and confirm. This is a step that so many sales professionals forget. And it is dynamic. It is. It's incredible.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
what you get out of people when they say, you know, when you do this, when you paraphrase and confirm, you will oftentimes hear the prospect like audibly relax, like you'll lean back in their chair or they'll exhale or like you can just some they'll make some sound will come through the phone that you can tell that like
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
You've taken stress off their shoulders because for the first time, they finally feel like someone is listening to them and understands the things that they're trying to get done with whatever it is that you're selling. It's absolutely incredible. All right, principle number three, silence sells. The principle here in practice is the power of the pause, right? These are strategic silences.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
What I like to say is shut up. up salespeople talk way too much and when you're talking there's no space for your customer or prospect to share what the actual problems are like you have to create space for them to tell you what is going on what their fears are what their concerns are what obstacles they faced before what their previous experiences with products like yours
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
These are all keys to closing a deal and being a true value provider. But if we're constantly blabbing away and trying to look smart and make ourselves feel good because we've been in the business for this long or we have this many vendors that we carry or, you know, here's what our client list looks like or here's how I would solve that problem. Your customer doesn't care.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
They're on the phone with you because they believe that you can solve their problem. They don't need to know your resume. Be quiet. Silence sells. It's absolutely the number one skill that I will, being silent is one of the absolute hardest skills for salespeople to master because we've been taught for so long incorrectly that we have to
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
what is up guys and welcome back to the show we have a phenomenal conversation for you today where i'm going to break down six psychological concepts that you can implement into your sales process today these are simple easy concepts however most sales people are not taught these. It's not that you can't do them. It's not that you're not able or that I have any kind of superpowers.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
have this great pitch and, you know, hook them with this line and, you know, create a gap of value and then fill that gap with our product and all these other stupid sales tricks that just do not work long-term. And they certainly don't allow you to maximize your close ratio when if you would just shut the fuck up. You would sell so much more. There's a quote from Peter Drucker.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. And if we are talking, we will never hear because it will never be said. Strategic pauses during sales calls improve prospect engagement by up to 26% as they process and self-persuade. I'm going to say that again. As they self-persuade. If you can be silent and you silence as a weapon, as a sales weapon, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
That prospect will talk themselves into working with you as they define and redefine what the problem truly is. And all you have to do is be quiet and it's right there for the taking. So the next time you jump on a call, right? Instead of coming back in with a solution, right? Just be quiet for an extra second and see if they don't fill that void with more information.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
Now, you don't want to be weird or awkward about it. Take some skill over time, developing skills here that you know when too much silence is too much. But the longer you can be quiet and not fill that void, your prospect will.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Hidden Psychology Behind Closing 80% of Your Deals in One Call
And most often they will fill it with valuable information that you can use to come up with a better product offering and ultimately align your proposal back to them in a way that resonates, is relevant. and solves the particular problems that they have reached out to you to solve. But if you're filling that void with your voice, you're never going to know.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
It was like constantly about what's not working and his issues and you're just like, I'm losing faith that you're the guy that's gonna take us to the promised land, right? You can almost take it too far. So how do you find that harmony between those two kind of sides of what you need to be as a leader?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Yeah, I completely agree with that. There are a few things that kill culture, like the leader not taking responsibility, even if it's not the leader's fault, right? At the end of the day, you put the person in that position, right? You gave a directive for them to go down that path. And if they screw up, take that finger pointing or deflecting.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I also can't stand when leaders blame things like the market or everybody's dealing with that stuff.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
it's not really the market's fault which you didn't adjust to them or whatever and what do you think it is inside us because I think every again I think so many of these things that we're talking about right we've obviously both had experience I'm 44 I don't know how old you are but I know you've been in the business for a while like some of these things almost feel like
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
You have to experience them once, but it's having the self-awareness to catch yourself and not make the mistake again. So like, how do we develop, because to me, self-awareness falls in that vulnerability category. Self-awareness to me seems like a superpower, but not everyone intrinsically has a deep sense of self-awareness.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
One, do you believe that self-awareness is an important part of vulnerability? Is there any methods or mindsets or mental models that we can use to help be a little more self-aware about the places where we may not be connecting with our team or we may not be the best version of ourselves?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Yeah, I love this idea. And guys, I'm going to find the link to the book, Just Ask, because you've Mentioned it a couple times, and I think that's a really wonderful point that you just made, right? Like, that you were judgy of this group, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Do you think that problem... is any more expansive in the Western world or maybe Western world isn't even the right way to put it. It's more like the States because I'll tell you, man, like here, the culture here, this hustle porn has really been this toxic, pervasive idea that is, that has gotten in and executives feel like if they're not working right, they're losing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
You were judgmental of this group before, and then when you needed it, all of a sudden, you were, like, looking around going, wait a minute, I'm one of these guys. And we all are to some extent. This idea, it's almost, and I hate to say, what's going to come out of my face next is not maybe the best way to frame it, but it's...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
It's almost like, even if you don't maybe buy into exactly what we're saying, maybe you are still that hard-headed, I'm the best, listen to me, my least favorite thing that a leader ever says is, I pay you, just do your fucking job kind of thing. It just, that's like soul-killing to me because it just destroys culture.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
even if it's just a tactic right even if you learn these skills just as a tactic act as if you're a vulnerable person act as if you have self-awareness over time it will just simply become part of who you are does that make sense do you buy into that argument
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I think a lot of guys worry too, men in particular, they worry that if they show vulnerability, if they show or address or bring to light a weakness or a mistake, that somehow they're going to lose their masculinity. How do you fight or push back or what has been your experience with that argument?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Because it feels like everything that we've talked about so far in these different concepts, like I think most men or particularly men who haven't put the work in or had conversations or joined a men's group or seen a counselor consistently, or have a mentor that they work with. They, I think there's a lot of misunderstanding of what masculinity truly is and at its core.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
so much of it for me in my own journey and i've had multiple falls similar to the one that you have and worked my way back and learned what and i've learned over time what those triggers are and now i know how to address them and build skills but it's it ultimately is coming down to security and who you are right like that false bravado masculinity is because you're not secure the lack of vulnerability
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
lack of access or willing to address mistakes, et cetera. It's just, it comes from a level of insecurity. As we develop security, particularly in who we are, it seems like many of these things, we naturally start to seek them out. How did you start to, you had this major moment of just your worst time and you've pulled yourself out of it and had so much success on the back half of it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
And so they start carving out time for personal fitness, for time with family, for time to just decompress. And they're just on and on. And I feel like and at least when I felt the loneliness is often when I feel this pressure to work even more. It's like it expands and really presses that loneliness quite a bit. Or is this something that's pretty equally spread out throughout the world?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Like how did you develop it coming from that just extremely dark moment? How did you come out of that with what feels very much like being very secure in who you are, what you believe, how you operate, what your core values are. How do you start to reestablish that security in yourself when you're doing things that create insecurity in who you are? How do you start to turn that corner?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Let's change course a little bit here. I want to talk about you. You talk to a ton of leaders. You do a lot of keynotes. You do a lot of workshops. You're very involved in the leadership community. What are some of the major issues maybe pertinent to our time, right? There's issues that every leader has faced forever, but We are living in a specific time in history.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I don't want to say unique because there's challenges in every generation and every era, but this is a specific time. What are some of the things that people are consistently coming to you with or asking you questions about that are unique to this moment in time that they have to address from a leadership position?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Why is physical health so important to leadership positions?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I completely agree. One of the core values of this show and what we teach here on the show is health is a competitive advantage. And I've shared stories how, you know, in situations where I've had to negotiate something or you cross a table or whatever, and you see someone who is carrying an extra 40, 50 pounds, maybe they're red-faced, you can tell they're not in shape,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I know I'm gonna beat that person simply because I will outlast them. I will have more energy. I'll have less brain fog. I'll have clarity deeper into the day. I won't get that noon to one sleepiness or lethargy because I'm not stuffing my body full of processed food or tons of carbs. And all of a sudden your six hours of my work is 12 hours of their work because you're physically fit, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
And your brain is in shape. And I think that's something that people don't realize is
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
and i'd love for you to share your experience on this like i have found and people ask me i love to i love to box and i love to deadlift and lift heavy weights right and people say you're 44 what are you dead lifting for you're gonna hurt yourself and i'm like i'm not trying to deadlift a thousand pounds you know what i mean yeah i'd like to lift heavy weights but i'm being a reasonable human being to a certain extent in that regard
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
i do it because it keeps my brain clear like physical body health directly impacts what's going on up in your coconut and so i feel like there's a disconnect and like here in the states we've normalized carrying an extra 20 30 pounds as if it's no big deal we just call it dad bod right oh i got a dad bod and everyone's got a dad bod and i just it makes me sad because i'm like
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
you'll hear them complain about something and the answer is, get your ass in the gym, go for a walk, do 10 pushups when you wake up, right? And these things that you're struggling with, the lethargy in the morning or the lag or sleepiness you have in the afternoon,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
it all magically goes away when you get your body in shape and you don't want to do things like drink your wife starts wanting to have sex with you again like all these amazing things happen with just getting your body in shape and so few people do it
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Wow. Still to today, you have not replugged your TV in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I don't watch a tremendous amount of TV. I'd say I get my news from X. I find it more as like a psychology experiment. I was having this conversation with a friend the other day because I asked him about... We were chatting about a bunch of stuff and then business stuff. And then when that ended, we were just like bullshitting. And I said, hey, did you see blah, blah, blah? And he's like, no.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
And I was like, really? I was like, you don't... And he's like, no, I don't follow any of that stuff. It doesn't impact me. And I was like, good for him in the back of my mind. And I said, I don't follow it. I like watching... I like following politicians because to me, it's like... a psychology petri dish, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
You get these crazy people who are essentially selling 24 seven, whatever their ideology is or whatever they're trying to get through and watching the different tactics. It's almost if you're interested in persuasion and leadership and communication and sales, watching politicians and studying how bad some of them are at it and how good some of them are at it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Do you think there is a difference in the amount of loneliness or how people experience it between an entrepreneurial journey and a journey inside of a large corporation?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
It really is almost like a masterclass of psychology in that world. And like people think, people always go, ah, no, you just like it because it's like watching porn or whatever. And... It's I just find these people to be I find them to be fasting. You got to have a screw loose to go into politics like you do. It doesn't mean bad.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
It just means like you're constantly taking fodder from the other side. You're trying to get something done.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
you either can take a educational way you can go persuasive you can go bombastic and then why do some people choose certain situations to use certain tactics i find that the reason that i am so interested in it is because it just to me is like this you're getting to why it's like a zoo it's like a zoo for persuasion and leadership tactics
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
And sometimes inside the zoo is like a big sign that says, don't do what this person is doing. It doesn't work. I don't know. That's always been my take on that is I wouldn't want that job. I don't pretend that I have all the answers or no, in any regard. I don't follow it because I think I'm right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I follow because I think that these people are constantly trying things to get something done and you get to see in public in real time, whether it works or not.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
The best part is, and this is what I... Like, the internet always wins. Like, at the end of the day, these... We'll call them trolls or meme creators or whatever. I don't know who these people are. I don't know where they are, but they always win. They're always going to get you no matter what.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
They're always going to, they're going to put your head on a thing and say, and it's just, sometimes it's so clever and brilliant. It's like my dirty pleasure, I guess. You know what I mean? Like we all got that one little thing that we do and that's probably mine.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
So beyond physical fitness, are there any other, because that one makes complete sense to me, are there any other kind of specific to this moment in time things that people are coming up to you about?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
In the same vein as taking ownership, where do you fall with a leader developing a personal brand outside of either their own entrepreneurial endeavor or the company that they work in?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I know through some of the ups and downs in my career, it was my personal brand that I had built alongside the various things that I've done that has led to the next opportunity, right? I've never really found myself in a place of not having anything to do any way to make money because I had developed very early on a personal brand around certain topics around leadership, sales, technology, and
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Because of that through-line personal brand, in 2018, I was fired from a job that I loved. I basically broke power law number one. I outshined the master, right? Not on purpose. I thought I was doing my job, but he didn't like that my brand had grown bigger than his, and out the door I went. I loved that job. Never wanted to leave. It was a complete shock to me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
This idea of executive loneliness as it relates to leadership, it's one of the things that It is very tough in my opinion to prepare for, even if people tell you that something or you hear a podcast like the one we're about to do, like it is a very tough emotion or feeling to deal with when you hit a leadership position and you start that loneliness starts to creep in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Didn't find out that was the reason I got fired a year later. But it was the personal brand that I had developed on the side that led, three weeks later, I had another job that I enjoyed just as much. That opportunity presented itself, bam, hey, I heard you're available, can we talk? Yes, boom, awesome next opportunity, right? I think today, more than ever, developing a personal brand.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
And I think you're right. If you're, I don't even think when you're with another company, it is always appropriate to monetize that personal brand or that you even need to, if you can, and it's appropriate and it makes sense and it doesn't take you all for it. Not knocking that side hustle at all.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
And I have no problem even if people in my own company, again, appropriate and separate and doesn't take away, go do your thing. I love it because oftentimes they learn skills doing that that they can bring back to your company.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
have developing that personal brand whether pick a platform right this is another thing pick the one that works for you if you somehow can figure out how to be successful on x awesome or linkedin right is a really good one especially for leaders right or instant or whatever works for you just start sharing your thoughts your beliefs and build up people who agree with you and are interested in what you have to say and then what happens is i think and for so many of you listening to this as you shared nick like
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I don't care if it's your company or you're inside a company. I think the only thing that today we can bank on is in a given period of time, there's going to be major change, right? It's seemingly every three to five years, the company makes cuts or goes a different direction or gets bought or you need to pivot or you sell.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
And then all of a sudden you find these people who, even if they have a positive outcome, like they actually sell their company, they have literally no idea what to do next. They find themselves depressed. They find insecurities, the doubt, the shame, the loneliness, all the things we started to talk about come in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Where the individuals who have a personal brand, who have a purpose, as you described, seemingly just move on to the next thing because it makes complete sense. They're like, I love to do this thing. I've been talking about it, building an audience, building connections, and this is the natural next step for me. And they bypass that time period of indecision because it's all right there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
It's just the next natural conclusion based on what you're interested in. I couldn't agree with that advice more. I think this idea of building your personal, just recapping, if you have a purpose, an idea, and I'm interested in your take on this, just around constructing a purpose, I find a lot of people who come to me
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
the suicide rates is quite high around entrepreneurs yeah i think the concept that you brought up before too around climbing the wrong mountain or maybe the mountain moves on you is a better way to put it i think entrepreneurs feel that quite a bit as well uh they have this entrepreneurial drive maybe they have a vision And they start chasing and they start something. It's producing revenue.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
they don't have a purpose because maybe what they're interested in is very broad to start, right? And I think they think somehow that's wrong. Like their purpose needs to be a specific, I help children in this country do this thing. And it doesn't have to be that specific.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
The more specific you get, the more directed, the more the universe will pull in opportunities to you, the more specific you are. But at first it could just be, I like to be fit and want to help people get fit, right? And then it could be, I like to help men over 40 get fit. And then it's, I like to help men who are in leadership positions get fit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
And then you can refine it over time, but it's like we need a vector first before we have a destination. Does that make sense?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Nick, this has been an incredible conversation, man. I appreciate the hell out of you. If people are interested in getting deeper into your world, learning more about you, what you offer, where should they go?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Nick, I wish you nothing but the best, man. I appreciate your time tonight. Taking the time with us means a lot to me, means a lot to the audience. So thank you so much.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
They have a thing and they're looking at their life and they feel lonely and disconnected and they don't love what they're doing. All of a sudden you start going, maybe that nine to five isn't so bad. I think I'm a firm believer that we need both big corporations and entrepreneurs. I know sometimes on either side, they get frustrated with each other.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
if you have that entrepreneurial drive and you push that top or you're inside of an organization and you're working your way up and that mountain does move on you, how do you catch yourself from that dark downward spiral of like shame and doubt and fear and insecurity that inevitably comes with loneliness?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Being an entrepreneur myself, I feel that it is very difficult to not equate what you're building with who you are. And in many ways, I think if you can frame your mindset, I think it's a very positive thing to equate a part of who you are, right? Not maybe all of who you are, but a part of who you are with this business because it's your idea. It's the buck stops with you to a certain extent.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
There is a part of that, but How do we not allow our position in a company or a struggle in a company or a tough boss? Like I often find that the first time we hit real adversity is when this hits harder than and comes out of left field. You just wake up one morning and you feel a little off and you're like, man, something's missing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Something's disconnected and you don't know how to wrap your head around it. Yeah, I think.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
So like one, why, what was your inspiration to address this particular topic? Cause I think it's one that's underserved and I love that you are. And two, like how do you start to get people out of that space?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
How did you start to establish those mentor relationships? Because I think a lot of people struggle with that. Why would Nick ever read my email and respond to me? We get this sense of...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
this person is so far ahead of me or this person is ahead of me so why would they take the time to deal with me how do we establish those mentor relationships in the right way in a way that's gonna be valuable not just to the individual who's asking but also to the mentors i think that's a big part of it absolutely and i think the best is to join some organization or events in person if you go to the relevant events so where did i find my people for example my
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
This sense that if I need to ask Nick for help on how I better position my keynote, then somehow I'm not good enough, right? Every single, and I've done 500 plus interviews on this show, right? Every successful person, yourself included, you just said it, right? Myself included. I have people that I call when I get stuck and I don't even question it. I'm just like, this isn't working.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I can't figure this out. For whatever reason, I'm maybe confused or whatever models I've tried to run a decision through. Just it's not clicking. And then you have a person you call. And but for a lot of people, that feels like maybe weakness to a certain extent. And that's, I think, where this vulnerability comes in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
How do you coach or teach and you're actually doing it today and I appreciate you taking the time today being that you have an engagement going on. How do you start to help people embrace vulnerability in a way that doesn't make them feel weak or shameful or doubtful of themselves?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
Yeah, I really love the advice of be prepared. I think that... The industry that I work in primarily is the insurance industry. I did a keynote a couple weeks ago in Vegas and after the keynote, a young agency owner came up to me and said he had a couple questions. He pulls out his notebook, and he had the questions written down on the notebook, right? And he said, you said this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I seemingly don't see it. I don't see what you're saying there, but I believe it. Like, I emotionally believe it, but I can't tangibly put my hands on what you're trying to say there. Can you explain? It was a very direct, very thoughtful question. Stopped me dead in my tracks. I had to get to an airplane.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I was trying to get out of there because sometimes after a keynote you can get caught for a long time. Which, and for anyone listening, I love answering questions after a keynote. So please, if you're at one of my events, don't not come up. This particular time I had to go, but... But he stopped me dead in my tracks because it was thoughtful and it was specific.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
And I answered the question and he had one more. And then he sent me a follow up on LinkedIn and said, hey, if I ever have another question, is that OK? And because he approached it in a thoughtful way, he didn't have 17 questions. Right. He had two. They were thoughtful and specific. And then he thanked me like a couple of days later on LinkedIn.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I will answer that dude's question anytime he has a question, right? Like, for now and forever, right? Anytime he's got a question, I'll pick up his call or answer a text or whatever. I gave him my cell phone number. And it's just like that one extra step, it seems like, that a lot of people don't take, right? They come up and they're like... And I...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
I get it, you're maybe a little nervous or whatever, but just write it down. It actually means more to me, and I'm sure you might be the same or if not, but it means more to me that you took the time to write a question down and think about that question. All I really want to know when someone asks me a question is that if I give you my best guidance on that question,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
there's a good chance you're going to take action on it. That's all I want to know because there's nothing worse than someone asks you a question and you give them an answer and you can tell almost immediately they're never going to take action, right? You're almost like, ugh. You feel like you've wasted your time. But if you get the impression from someone that,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
they're actually going to listen to your advice. And it doesn't mean they have to agree or whatever, but that they could take action. Man, you'll give so much of your free time away to try to help people.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Entrepreneurs Are Depressed (And No One Cares Until It’s Too Late)
How do you find the harmony between being strong, direct, driven, vision-focused leader with the necessary vulnerability that you need to have? I've been part of a couple organizations earlier in my career where the leader was was almost like too vulnerable.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. Today's guest is Cameron Herald. Cameron built two $100 million plus businesses by age 35 and later went on to drive 1,800 junk from 2 million in revenue to over 106 million in revenue. He now is known as the CEO Whisperer and runs the COO Alliance, helping some of the biggest names
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Cameron, dude, appreciate you taking the time, man. I'm glad we finally got a chance to hook up. I'm so excited to have this conversation.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Yeah, I think of that, I completely agree with your pyramid as well. I think of it as like if you have the standard pyramid with the CEO on top, it's almost as if you're trying to pull the team along.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
where if you flip it on its head and now the CEO's on the bottom in the inverted period, you're actually pushing behind them and working with them and it just philosophically feels like a more supportive role and it drives the mindset of what we're trying to do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Yeah. So dude, as it would happen, like two hours before we recorded, you put this video out on Instagram and it's where I want to start, right? Like breakdown, breakdown Doge and, and what is happening and, and kind of just let's, let's start to go there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Yeah, I think another part of that, and actually, Andy Frisella, I'm not sure if you're familiar with him. He's the founder of FirstForm. It's a supplement company. He was talking about this topic and he said, you know, the issue, one of the problems that entrepreneurs face is it's their vision, their passion to build this thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
And, you know, they're willing to put 20 hours a day into this business. And then they expect and try to drag along and will browbeat and will put pressure on their team. to do the exact same thing. And his point was, you can't hold someone to the same standard that you as the founder and the entrepreneur may be willing to do, right? You want to get out of them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
I want to start with Doge because I'm so intrigued by this, but there are, if you're a, if you're just a business guy or gal and you're trying to run your business and you occasionally pop your head up into the conversation and there is almost no way to dissect what's really happening, what's truth, what's not. So let's start there and help people.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
So I lived that firsthand, the first startup that I was part of. I was the chief marketing officer, and I felt like, you know, this being my first true, like, just high-energy startup business, I went in full stack and was, you know, every minute that I wasn't eating or spending a minimal amount of time with my children, I was working, right? All hours of the day, all the time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
And it just – it not only destroyed my relationship with my spouse but also destroyed my health, my mental health. I had this manic personality that was like super highs, super lows. And then ultimately after a period of time, my work product started to be affected, and it wasn't until I pulled the brakes back and started operating –
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
like in a rational way, much closer to what you said, that my work product then ramped way back up because now I had the space.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
I was talking to a founder the other day and he shared with me, you know, we were talking about a similar topic, right? He's stressed out. He's struggling with his board. You know, he's asked me all these questions and he talked to me about how much he was working.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
And I asked him a similar question because, you know, at this point in my career, I've made a lot of these corrections that I that mistakes that I made early in my career. And I was talking to him about this similar topic. I'm like, how much time do you have baked into your day for nothing but just serendipitous activity, right? It could be thought experiments.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
It could be writing an article that allows you – that allows you to get your brain out. It could be whatever, just – random activities associated to your business that aren't a task. Like, how much of that time do you have baked in? And he said, zero. And I asked him why, and he said, because I want to set the example for how hard I want my team to work.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
So the industry that I've worked in for the last 20 years is the insurance industry, specifically property casualty on the independent side, both as an agency owner, salesman, and on the technology side, which is where I live today. The problem that you just articulated is something that is pervasive in our space. Sure.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Is that the agency owner, like the core, you know, vision, leader, all the things we've just discussed, will literally hand out their cell phone number to thousands of clients, and then they become stressed out, overworked, burned out, bitter, resentful, because they're getting tasked with all these things that could easily either be solved on their website or routed to an employee. And...
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
What I've found is, and speaking to so many of them, is usually I find it to be one of two things. It's either ego or insecurity, right? They're either, so, you know, I want to handle all these things. I'm the one that knows the answer. These are my clients. My name is on the box. Or... They're so insecure that they're going to lose people that they want that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
So if I'm sitting here and I'm listening to this and I found myself in a place that you just described, right? My cell phone number, I'm getting pinged all hours of the day. I'm starting to become burnout, resentful, bitter. How do we, is it awareness?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Like how do we start to, how do we want to rationalize that we're maybe not doing the right thing and that we are in a place that's hurting ourselves? And then what's the path to start to fix that?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
I want to come back to this. We're going to go all the way back to stagflation. You gave a very brief definition, but I'd love for you to dig into it a little more. And then I'd like to spend some time talking about how we position our businesses and what we need to be thinking about as leaders or entrepreneurs with this idea coming down the pipe.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
So it's, this is a time for operational leadership to really shine versus say your wartime growth generals that you might bring in. You know, this is, this is, this is operational leadership. This is where, this is where those individuals who have the ability to say no, who can look at these projects and, and, and determine where, you know, the one thing, right. Another Dan Sullivan.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Ben Hardy book is 10x is easier than 2x, which was incredible for the idea of focus, etc. This is their time to shine. This is what you need to be working on.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
And sometimes there are seasons of your business where survival is the best path, right? You just have to weather the storm.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
I also think that when you limit yourself to any geographical region, be it community, state, country, You're also limiting the talent pool.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Yeah. Do you think what Doge is doing is going to stick? I hope. Yeah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
I think, you know, I tend to be fiscally and, you know, conservative. But in truth, I believe in what, you know, my belief in what the original American dream was this. You get to do whatever the hell you want and I get to do whatever the hell I want. As long as my shit doesn't go on you and your shit doesn't come on me. It's all good, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
And I think that's the way most Americans want to believe. And the way that I've looked at this from like the gender issues and some of the different things that we see is like nobody would fight economic development money going into disaffected communities that have not been given the opportunity
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
If they weren't also seeing that money being spent, 780 million being spent on Sudan and another 900 million, you know what I mean? So it's like, I do believe, I do honestly believe that the argument for some of these things that are actually good, that do help the social and moral fabric of our communities and of our country.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
That if this waste is gone, no one gives a shit if you spend the money. They want you to spend the money there. That's where the money... You know, if you told me $800 million was going into, you know, whatever, south, you know, east Detroit to make sure that that community is starting to get propped up, who's going to fight that? We don't want it being sent to some other country.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
And I think I'm hoping that this is a wake-up call and it sticks because...
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Yeah, I want to finish with one more topic that you briefly mentioned and take this as far as you want. Crypto is a major topic, right? Companies are starting to think about putting it on their balance sheet. For many companies, that's probably not even something they should consider, or maybe, I'm interested in your take. But then... you know, we're in kind of a tumultuous time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Where do you kind of sit and on crypto and should companies that have, we'll say, gotten past escape velocity, right? Is it a place they should think about storing some value during a time like this if they have the ability to do so?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
in tech and in business, create massive growth, create cultures that are self-fulfilling. You are going to absolutely love this conversation, I promise. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. Today, we are joined by Cameron Harreld. Cameron, by the age of 35, had already built two $100-plus million businesses. He later went on to take 1-800-JUNK.com
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Yeah, I'm with you. I do the same thing. I invest in Bitcoin every week. I do not invest in Ethereum. The only other coin that I have besides Bitcoin is XRP, which is more of a, we'll call that more of a bet. I have my own theories on it, but that's not a primary holding. That's more of a double zero on the roulette table kind of play for a couple of different reasons.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
I think that's a wonderful place to put a pin in our conversation, which has been absolutely phenomenal. You have the COO Alliance. Tell us a little bit about how people get deeper into your world, because obviously I know people are going to be jacked up to get involved if they're not already.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Tremendous. And guys, I'll have all those links, whether you're watching on YouTube or listening on Spotify, Apple, wherever, just scroll down in the description and I'll have all that stuff linked up. Cameron, appreciate you, man. Tremendous time. Insights are wonderful and I appreciate your perspective.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
That would be tremendous. Cool. Thank you so much. All right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
No, I know it's a perfect answer. I, and I, where I get frustrated is that's why I live in New York state born and raised here. You know, my early years could be 44 in a couple of days. As I said, early days were George Pataki. It was very much the empire state still at that time. Right. It was.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
you come to this state regardless of where you are, and everyone discounts upstate, which is where I live, but the entire state had this mentality of regardless of where you sit, whether it's New York City, Buffalo, Albany, this is a place where people work and grow and things happen, and it has been kind of cannibalized by, I'm not going to say Democrats, there's plenty of Democrats that I like, I'm going to say more of a leftist mentality that
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
that I think has become pervasive. And our current governor, Hochul, said something about Doge that I found very intriguing, which was, I'm going to paraphrase because I don't have the exact words, but the essence of her argument was, You are going to pay for these things either way, which was these programs like you're paying them through taxes or getting the money from you a different way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
You're still paying. Right. So, like, these cuts are meaningless because we're still we still have to have the programs. And I think where people get misunderstand is that. You don't need the programs, right? Like it's this constant idea that we need to spend more and have our fingers in more things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
And I'm interested from a business perspective, how do we marry if we're in a state like New York, right? So if you're in Texas or you're in South Carolina, different setup.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
From $2 million in revenue to $106 million in revenue, 14 employees to over 3,100 employees, he is known as the CEO whisperer. If you are in a leadership position, if you're an entrepreneur, a founder, if you love business, buckle up, get your notebook. You are going to absolutely love this episode. Let's get on to Cameron Herald.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Yeah. I've seen, it feels to me like many business owners have allowed their feelings on a topic to drive decisions versus the facts. And this is a term that's been popularized. You bring the receipts, right? And I look at the philosophies of certain individuals. This comes a lot out of the political class, but it is very much, I think, kind of soaked into the business class as well, is
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
we start managing on our feelings of, I don't wanna be seen as this, or I don't wanna hurt these people's feelings, or God forbid you let someone go, and we've lost this end game of, at the end of the day, we have to make a profit. No one has a job if we're not making a profit you know, at some point here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
So how do you, if you say you're a leader and, you know, you've maybe fallen prey to some of the influence of the last 10 years of say the, the more emotion driven decision-making or, or kind of woke philosophy, how do we turn that course? If you find yourself in that place and you want to get back, how do you make that transition?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Yeah, we so I had a startup that I exited from in 2023 and we had our internal flag. Completely agree with what you said about happy employees and our internal and internal philosophy of ours was in service of. We are all in service of someone else. I, as the CEO and founder, I was in service of my employees. My managers were in service of the people that reported to them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Secret of $100M CEOs – Cameron Herold
Maybe the entry-level layer was in service of the customers that they touched or the processes that they touched. And this idea of instead of like, I govern what you do or I manage you is in service of you. It's like these little mindset turns can really drive how we interact with each other.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous conversation for you with Belle Rape. Belle is a branding specialist. She helps you find your brand, find your style, and earn what you are worth. Bell is an incredibly dynamic individual. This is a wonderful conversation.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Right, because you spend money on a fancy graphic for a Facebook ad. Do you think that's just going to change everything? What is it about the concept of branding that it feels like people either get it or they don't. And how do we start to turn the people that don't into believers?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
I'm not necessarily a cat person. Nothing against that, just not necessarily. But my girlfriend got a cat. She brought the cat here, and my children fell in love with the cat. So then she was like, I can't take this cat away from your kids. So now the cat is with me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
No, it just gives her a reason to visit. Yeah. All right, let's get into the interview. So I have my first question for you is you say on your website that leaving corporate was an act of reclaiming yourself. I would love for you to talk about exactly what that means and why you felt that way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Yeah. No, I love your idea of almost like brand training for teenagers that they have a clear picture of like... Because... The company I just exited from a company in November of last year. And, you know, we were constantly hiring employees. I never wanted to see a resume. I just assumed that like, look, like you're interviewing for the job.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Like you're probably like a reasonably intelligent human being or it was insurance industry. So the bar is pretty low. Sorry, all my insurance friends. But, you know, what I wanted to see was like, who is this person? Are they going to come in and be a problem? Like, are they going to go all like... you know, wokey on us when they get in here? Are they going to cause problems?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Are they, you know, like what are they doing? Are they going to take a ton of time off? Like, you know, we're, we're a startup, like maybe in a company of a thousand, that's perfectly fine. It's all good. But like, this is grind time for us. And when we're hiring people, we're telling them like, you're not gonna work seven days a week.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
So I completely agree, but you're going to have to put in a solid 45 and those 45 are going to have to be dedicated hours. Like you can't be screwing around. Like we need to get things done. And we can go to their social media profiles and you would have a real clear picture. Like maybe they work out a lot. Maybe they have a hobby they're super into.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Like I don't need to know you're great at the thing I need you to do today because I can train you for that. I need to know you have the skills, character qualities of someone who can become good at my company. And I think today that is. especially for hiring, as more and more important than it is the actual skills to the job.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Obviously, you know, if you're blasting rockets into space, you need to know, be a rocket scientist. But like outside of some certain very technical professions, most things can be trained or learned. And what we really need to know, I think today is who are you? What am I getting, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And our company cultures today, especially in a remote world, and I'd love your feedback on this, in a remote world, Your brand is oftentimes goes hand in hand with your culture. And if it doesn't, that causes all kinds of problems. But if it does, your brand is going hand in hand with your culture.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
So if you have a brand that represents who you are and that matches the culture, then the types of people that want to work in that environment, they're the ones that interview, right? I have a lot of friends that say, especially in the insurance, I came out of the insurance industry. That's kind of the industry that I've been in for the last 20 years.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And every little boy's dream, just so you know. The problem is you develop this. Here's the thing. One, insurance is phenomenal. I love bus and chops and everyone who's in the industry that listens knows that it's fun to make fun of ourselves. But you develop this arcane like language, like you like there's like a language to insurance that once you learn it, it doesn't apply anywhere else.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
So like if I were to take it's not transferable in any regard because the words are you. It doesn't matter. But here's my point. I have all these friends. And people, and I get asked to speak a lot, and they'll be like, oh, you know, you say all the time that hiring is easy. And I was like, yeah, hiring was easy. And they're like, wow, we can't find anybody. There's no good talent out there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And I was like... That's because your brand blows. Who would want to work there? Like, who would want to work there? Like, look at it. Your logo looks like it was made in a dot matrix, by a dot matrix machine in the 70s, right? Your office smells like mothballs. Your building hasn't been updated since the 90s, right? Like... Who, who would, who's like, yeah, I can't wait to go work at that place.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
That place looks awesome. You know what I mean? Like there's no, your social media stinks. There's enough or non-existent, like no one knows what they're getting. So they don't want to come in. So I would love for you to maybe expand upon your thoughts of all this little diatribe that I went on.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And, and really I'd love for you to connect kind of this idea of brand and culture and, and how it equates to the people that we ultimately find.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
They are seemingly okay with me wearing a dirt brown sweatshirt while I am with you people. Although I think we agreed it's called Earth Tones, but yeah. Well, I want the audience to stop for a second and go back. And I'd love for you to expand on this thought because this is so powerful and I love the way you put it. What you're doing isn't what makes you unique.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
It's how you do it because it's specific to you. Can you expand on that particular thought? Because I think that nuance is so incredibly important and very powerful.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Yeah. It's funny. And I think... I want to share an anecdote with you. And because it's my show, I can do whatever I want. No, I'm just kidding. Well, yes, but no. I'm not going to do anything bad.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
But I think, you know, talking to your corporate, to the corporate environment piece, and there's a lot of people that listen to the show who are ambitious, driven people who are stuck in corporate situations. So I'm sharing this story so that they understand. I think a lot of times corporate environments will suck you in because they'll tell you hey, we love how you're bubbly.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
We love your energy. We love your viewpoint on the world. And we need that here. And I think they honestly believe it when they say it. And I'm talking about they as this big entity because the people who live and are successful in those environments, particularly the middle and lower levels of those environments, oftentimes have assimilated like the Borg.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And it becomes this groupthink methodology. And what's funny is, My company that I told you I exited from in November, the company that purchased me, when they purchased me, that was the pitch that I got, right? You're honest, you're upfront, you think forward, visionary, all this kind of stuff. You have these unique ideas on how things should be done.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And we've been around for 50 years and we need that. We need that in here. And they added me to the executive team. And I got invited to one event.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
executive meeting and then I was never asked back and in that meeting I'm sitting there and this is my first one and I'm like I want to contribute and I want to be part of the team and and I also can't help myself I have my brain is broken in a lot of ways and one of those ways is like I can't not participate.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Like, if I have a thought that I think can add value, it's probably a better corporate move to just keep that shit to myself, but I can't do that. So they roll out this new brand, and they're all so excited, and it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars, and it was fucking terrible. It was the worst, god-awful, like, lack of energy, like...
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Like, the guys who really need those ED pill commercial things, it's what I think they deal with every day. That's what I imagine when I think of this brand. It's like a guy struggling with ED. There's just no gum shit. Not to get gross. I don't know why that's the example that came to my head. I apologize. But it was just the wheat. It was just nothing to it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And if you are struggling to make a connection with your audience, with your prospects, with your marketplace, with your peers, inside your industry, if you are struggling to make that connection, oftentimes it's because your brand is misaligned with what you are trying to achieve. And Bell helps you find that connection. You're going to love this episode.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
So they go through the whole thing, and I stood up and I said... I kind of like the original brand better. And they're like, what? And I was like, yeah, it's old, and it looks like it was made in the 80s, but it's also got a ton of character to it. Like, and everybody knows it. It's immediately recognizable. It's been around for 50 years.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Like, you know, and I think we could play on, like, how it is, like, got, you know, 17 different features to it, and it's like this weird thing. I was like, but it's kind of got some personality. I was like, this... has no personality. Like no one is going to look at that and feel emotionally connected to it. And then I sat down and it was like, I just drop a bomb in the middle.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Like no one knew what to say. Like nobody that they're looking around. And I started this and I started to get that feeling of like, I probably should have kept my mouth closed because then like, you know, someone in the hallway was like, you know, I was really, really, really bold of you to come in like that. You know, like they're trying to like pump me up and I'm like, that means I'm fucked.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Like I'm completely screwed. Like it was not the right thing to do. I should have never shared my opinion. And then I was never invited back to another meeting. But it's funny, like you, you know, to your point, like I think I have two thoughts on that. At the time, I, at the time, I initially felt bad not because one, I felt like I had hurt the people's feelings who created the brand.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
It's not their fault that they did a terrible job because I think they were probably given a group think vision and they were trying to mash this group think vision the best they could. Like they're little untalented people. The work product they came out with was God awful and still is. But, but you know, it's not there. I don't want to blame them. I didn't want to make them feel bad.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
I thought I was helping. And I think I could have conveyed the message better, but... What I took away, and this goes to your branding, is that this is who I am, right? They wanted this. This is who I am. They got exactly what they wanted.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And if they don't actually want it and they don't invite me back again, I'm going to be okay with that because I'm not going to make the mistake that I made in previous lives where I kind of succumbed to the Borg and allowed myself to be boxed in. Like, I'd rather be the black sheep than...
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
just fit in with the crowd and buy along like everyone else you have taken that and created this amazing brand and guys if you go to Bell's website and check out the work that you do and how you present yourself it's phenomenal like How do the people who believe what we're talking about, right? They're bought in. They're listening to you. They believe it. Where do they start with this?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
How do you start to do as we started with? How do they start to reclaim themselves if maybe they don't have the – They don't have the full power today to go all the way, right? They're not just going to jump out of their corporate job today. They're not really make that move, but they want to get start. They want to start to build. And I know you're not advocating for that, but right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
They want to get started. How would you, is it start playing around with an Instagram channel? Is it maybe start journaling? Like how do they start to kind of get their hands around what they would want their brand to be and play around with it a little bit?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
You're scratching all ones and twos?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Yeah. I know. My kids the other day said, so I'm 43, and my kids the other day made a reference to me being old, and I'm like, I had to, like, stop for a sec because I was like, in my head, I'm still a kid? Like, I still think about myself like a kid, you know? Because I'm like, I look at my dad. He's, like, 68. You know what I mean? I mean, he's old, you know? I'm not old. He's old.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
My kids are looking at me calling me old. I'm like, I'm still a kid. What are you talking about? I still listen to rap music, you motherfucker. You know? I don't know. Yeah. It's just funny. It's funny how all that works. I think your point is dead on.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
I really like the idea of if you want to be this other thing or a hobby or if you think a hobby could become a side hustle, one of the barriers that I try to break down when I talk to people is there's this, especially in suburban America, and I think this is particularly true with men, although it may be true with women. I just deal with a lot more men, is that the idea...
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
of a side hustle or a second job feels somehow like they're failing right like if they if you know because because i had a buddy actually the sports analyst thing is what is what picked this up for me
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
is he really loves sports and he likes talking about sports and he's like, you know, I've always wanted to do like an Instagram channel where I broke down, you know, I think he's like a Giants fan or whatever, but not just them. And I just was like, so go do it. And he's like, you know, and I'm just like, dude. Yeah. I was like, this is like the easiest thing in the world for you to do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Literally, you need a tripod for your camera. It'll cost you $2 on TikTok, and you literally have everything you need to do analysis of games and throw it up on Instagram and see if people like it. Here's the best part. Do it for six months, and if no one likes it, guess what you can do? You can just shut it down. And if they like it... This is like your favorite thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And like you said, you could test branding. And like, that's the beauty. I feel like people, because of the law, and I'd love for you to maybe just expand on this as we kind of run to the end of our conversation here. Because I sometimes get the sense from people that, the permanent nature of what we put online, that every single thing we put up needs to be curated and on brand and perfect.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And when you look at the people who grow the fastest, who have the most influence, the most engagement with their content, Yeah, they have some of that curated, highly produced stuff, but it is always mixed in with like, look at Gary Vaynerchuk. This game tests more crazy ideas in social media and he just throws it out there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And he'll even tell you like some of the stuff doesn't work and then he doesn't do it again. And it's still out there. The crazy post that didn't work, it's still sitting in his feed. Yeah. But no one even no one cares. And like, I guess, you know, I don't know that I even have a question coming out of that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
I just I feel so passionately about like, just do something like there's no reason to sit every day with this anxiety and this this sense of of miss between, you know, like someone asked me one time. Actually, it was my son, my older son. My kids go to a Catholic school and my older son enjoys the faith side of it. My younger son does not.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
But my older son loves that is really, really enjoys the faith side of it. And he was asking me, like, what do you think hell is that? Do you think hell is like really like a pit of fire? And I said, no, I do not. I said, I think hell is when you get to the gates of St. Peter. Yeah. The version of you that God intended is standing there waiting for you and you have to measure yourself against it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And hell are the people who that who who look at what they could have been and can't handle the difference. And I don't know if that's true or not. That's just the way that I visualize it. But I was like, the only way to get to be that version of you is to do shit. If you're just standing, you know, sitting in place like, yeah, and it just it kills me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
The good news is that you're in good company. I am also have dashed myself up against the rocks of corporate America multiple times only to realize that I was not built for that world. And I think to your point, what I found myself doing was getting good at playing the corporate game versus getting good at what I was supposed to be doing in my role.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
This has been incredible. I appreciate you. Huge fan. Where can people find more about you, connect with you and get deeper in your world?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
So you can connect where you're listening, watching, just scroll down. You'll find those links. Highly recommend the connection on both Instagram and your website is phenomenal. There's like a couple of pictures from your clients there. Like one is the guy with the blue suit. It's a black dude. And you got like the upshot, like a bad-ass car. And I was like, man, I love that picture.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
I want to, I want to be standing in that picture. I love it. So appreciate you. Thank you so much. And just thank you for the time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
It was like, how do I play politics around this person? And how do I position myself here so that the thing that I want gets done? Not... Let me create the best thing in the position that I was in. Let me focus on my work. Let me dial in. It's, it's okay. If I want to get this little thing here and take this territory and add more head count, I got to come around here and smooth this part.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And I'm like, and I found the same thing. I'm like, I don't want to do anything. Most of these people are assholes. Like, I don't even want to, like, I got to kiss this guy's butt and I got to go to her cocktail party and I got to be on this task force. And I'm like, I don't want to do any of those things. Like, I hated every second of it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And the part that I would love for you to dig in a little more is I also felt shame. When I'm not fitting into that world, I felt like, well, all the people everyone admire have these, you know, CMO of this position or CEO of this company. And that's how you get known. And that's how people respect you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
And when I couldn't fit into that world after multiple tries, I also, I had that shameful feeling of like, what's wrong with me? So like, how did you deal? How did you come through that? Was it? Did you have good mentors? Did you do mindset work? Like, how did you come through that kind of natural evolution of feelings to get to where you are today?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
It is packed full of both high-level insights and ideas as well as tactical guides to get your brand where it needs to be to earn what you are worth. You're going to love Bell Rape just as much as I loved this conversation. With that, let's get on to Bell Rape. I know, I should have hit record.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
I don't know how I didn't know this before, but there's one phrase in the Bible that is written 365 times and it's do not be afraid. Do not be afraid is written 365 times. And I don't think that 365 times is a coincidence, right? Every day, do not be afraid. He will guide you. And I think the fact that faith is such a large part of both your business and your life is incredible.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
I think that more people, I hope more people have the strength, guts to talk about their faith and to integrate their faith into their business, whatever that may be, right? I try to as much as I possibly can. How has that aspect, how has faith played a role in guiding this new chapter, right? It's all over your website. It's part of your message.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
I've heard you mention it many times in other places. Like it's obviously a huge part of your life. And how do you use your faith to guide you through, you know, becoming an entrepreneur, coming out of the corporate world?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
I was actually, when I was researching for the show, I was watching a YouTube video of a show that you were on, and they did that. It was like, got you sitting down and getting your cup of coffee, and they're like, you didn't realize. And I have a cat now for some reason. When listening at home, if you hear a random meow in the background, it's because I now have a cat.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
I love that. I love that. When people ask me about it, and I'm not a branding expert in any regard, my side is much more on the tactical marketing side. I've been a CMO and a CEO. And... Like I don't, it's such a struggle for me because to me, brand is so obvious. And when people ask me about it, I'm like, it's a filter. It's the filter. Like you want to know why you have crappy clients?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
Because your brand isn't strong. You want to know why people struggle to buy from you? Because your brand isn't strong. You want to know why your closing message doesn't connect with prospects, with vendors, with partners? Because your brand isn't strong.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
When your brand is strong, clear, and actually is a representation of who you are or your business is, then the people who connect with that message just self-select in. They're like, yes, yeah, that's the one right there. That's me. I want that. Either whether it's filling a gap in their life that they don't have or it just immediately connects with who they are. And it's so obvious to me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Faith and Branding Can Ignite Your True Potential
It's so many people struggle to grasp that concept. Why do you think that is? Why is it that... Companies will go spend, you know, $100,000 on a marketing campaign with a brand that's mushy and gray and all over the place and antiquated. And then they wonder why they're getting this terrible ROI when no one knows what to connect to.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
What is up? Welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous conversation for you with Nick McKinley. Nick is a Harvard graduate, former military special operations, worked for a kinetic team at the CIA, and is now an entrepreneur with... a spin.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
How would you recommend someone who is like, you know, I I don't like this about myself. I hear what Nick's saying. I believe him. I don't want to be this person. I've kind of found myself in this place. How would you recommend someone start to work through maybe moving from a destruction mentality to a building mentality?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
It's like, this is why I do this show. This is why I put the time in. This is why I create these episodes is for these types of conversations, these types of missions. And I hope that you will take just the two minutes to scroll down or just type it in, deliverfund.org, donate today, and let's keep fighting human trafficking in this country. Guys, I give you Nick McKinley.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Do you think you were a naturally disciplined person which made special ops and CIA work fit for you? Or did those organizations and your time inside of them help mold that discipline?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Yeah, I completely agree with this mindset. Kobe's got a great – he's said it a couple different times, so I'm paraphrasing now. But it's essentially once – he had this philosophy of he didn't negotiate with himself, right? So once he made a decision, I'm going to insert whatever his goal was. whatever the things were he needed to do to hit that goal, he just simply didn't go.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
He's like, he just turned off in his brain the, well, you know, I worked out yesterday and I went a little hard yesterday. So today I'm going to do, I'm going to, you know, dial it back a little.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
It's like, no, I committed to two hours or whatever, you know, whatever it was of this amount of work at this effort level every day or, you know, whatever the cadence was, he simply didn't negotiate with himself. And I think, I think what I love about that is he,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
The simplicity of of what you're saying in this idea of like, just make a decision and then don't negotiate, because the path to being successful as an entrepreneur is fairly simple. It's incredibly difficult. But what you need to do when you met like like take, you know, take making the eight out of the hundred when you're getting in special ops. Right. Like I'm assuming the path is simple.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Getting there is very difficult. But what, you know, just in your brain, I need to have this amount of, you know, aerobic fitness, this amount of strength. I need to know these skills. I need to perform these five things, you know, whatever they are, right? Like, it's not like it's a secret what you need to do, but... you just need to be able to do these things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
So it's like, instead of constantly negotiating and trying to find a hack and a shortcut and a this and well, I'm good at this one, I don't necessarily have to be as good at this one. It's like, no, no, here's the five things you need to do to be to hit your goal. Do them. The pain, the difficulty is not in the things you need to do. It's consistently showing up to do the things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
And that's why there's 10 bazillion $27 courses that exist out there for all these random things is because everyone's searching for this magical how-to when you don't need the how-to. You're going to figure it out if you just show up every day and do the things that you know you need to do. It's simple, just not easy, I guess. Does that make sense? Am I framing that properly?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
in a crude laboratory in the basement of his home.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
All right, man. Well, dude, Nick, it is awesome to have you on the show, dude. And I will tell you, like, I've had... Dude, I've had close to 350 guests on this show over the last, you know, whatever, however many years. And you were one of the toughest to prepare for because of the breadth and depth of shit that you have done in your life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Nick is also the founder of deliverfund.org, which is a private nonprofit focused on stopping human trafficking, reducing human trafficking in the United States and the world by 80%. And this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. I'm a huge believer in the protection of our children and the development of our children and the fact that the United States is the number one market for
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
It was actually... Out of honor, isn't it? It was actually on one of the letters when I was fired from a job was, you know, despite your performance, the unreasonable nature that you take with your team, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, so hitting the goals, happy team, those didn't matter.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Now, before we went live, you referred to yourself as a nonlinear thinker, which speaks to my heart because, you know, for the audience, they know I love bringing in all different people, right? And... You said something, and this is where I want to start. Your nonlinear thinking style allows you to examine questions such as, how do you go so impossibly big that no one thinks it's possible?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
It was that I didn't kowtow to the leadership with an unreasonable... Now, some of that is me learning and being immature, right? I probably could handle myself better at certain points. But the other side of it was... I also was keenly aware coming from where I came from. You know, I grew up in a household where I was blessed with two loving parents, but we were we did not have any.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
I grew up in the middle of nowhere in a tiny town of 900 people. You know, I mean, like we would get one new shirt and one new pair of pants for the whole school year. And you would just wear the shit from the last year with holes in it and stains and your one new stuff. Like that was how I grew up. Right. So like I learned very early that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
looking around where every role model was either an alcoholic or a pothead or worse and uh you know looking and going the only way out of here is to become a different version of than all these people is to become this person who does different things who does seemingly what they would consider unreasonable things like not getting hammered every night and not you know being a freaking clown and not becoming a drug dealer you know i mean like those it was unreasonable for me to like
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Beyond, you know, being an athlete and focusing on getting good grades and, you know, those were like unreasonable things at that time, which may sound crazy to some of you. But from where I came from, very, very unreasonable.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
And for that reason, I literally talked to two people from high school for that exact reason. Right now, I'm fine with that. That's not something I even concern myself with. But but it's but it is an interesting thing. And and what I hear you saying is like, look, these are all choices that we we get in life to make.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
And I think what I what I would hope people take from this, if you aren't willing to put in that extra effort is. Be okay with where you are and the choices that you make. Like you said, it's okay to say, you know what I want to do? At 4.30 every day, I want work to be done. I don't want to think about it again.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
I'm going to hang out with my family, watch TV, Netflix with the spouse, you know, whatever. And that's what I want my life to be. And it's like... There's nothing wrong with that. Like, God bless you for that. If that's what you want, great. But what I think where I do judge those people is in then turning around and vilifying those who say, I'm going to see my kids less
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
in exchange for this thing that i want to get done that's the decision that's the math they made you don't have to agree with their math but that's the decision they made and i just what bothers me is that uh and and is this idea that like you get to choose exactly who you want to be the life you want to live right your priorities exactly you're creating your building that's great but there's no reason for someone who chooses a different path that didn't tear you down because your path is different and i think that's where from a communication standpoint you know our our
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
political class has completely lost their minds. So we can't even look to them anymore. You know, it's funny. I was talking to my kids the other day. I was at my kids play baseball and I was talking to one of the other dads and we were just kind of standing around before practice. And, you know, everyone's just kind of getting their stuff together.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
And I don't know how this came up, but I was like, remember when being the president, like that's that was like the highest goal. Like when I was a kid and everyone's like, what do you want to be when you grow up? Right. It was like like the really ambitious kids were like, I want to be the president. I was like, oh, that's awesome. You want to be the president?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
They don't even think that way today. Like our politicians have so lost that respect and that that political kind of talking head class because of the nature of their communication and the frankly, except for a few, none of them create or have created anything. Literally, it's just been these narratives that literally the only thing they create is narratives to try to get elected.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
And it's it's it's sad that we've lost that. But I want to turn a little bit to your fund and to the work in sex trafficking. Where did this come from? Why did that become such a huge part of your mission? Like, where did this come from?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
So I want to start there. How do people grab this mindset? Because we know... A large percentage of the population of people that are listening to this show right now have incredible talent, all the ability and means to make things happen, but they're stuck and it's often because they're thinking too small. So let's start at the biggest question. How do we make these incredibly big things happen?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Trump mentioned that as one of the reasons why he wanted to shut down the border. And I had a friend of mine who's a Democrat reach out and say, you know, this is another one of the ways that he deflects from, you know, his Nazi whatever. It's kind of crazy, but completely disregarding this idea of human trafficking.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
I think for a lot of, for a lot of like everyday Americans in particular, we see yourselves as a good guys. Right. And I had this conversation actually with my sister who is slowly converting from a liberal to more conservative mindset. Um, it's only taken me 36 years, but I'm getting her there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Um, and, and I don't mean to be, I actually don't necessarily align with the political parties because I, you mean she has, she has kids and she pays taxes, meaning with taxes. Now she has a house and she's paying taxes. Now she's still working on the kid. Uh, Funny how that happens. Yeah, but all of a sudden she buys a home and has to pay taxes and is slowly converting.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
But I brought this issue up to her and I, you know, because she's a very thoughtful, like, she's one of those people who moved to the Democrat Party because she's just got this enormous, like, she's so caring, right? Animals, children, she helps the disabled. She's a wonderful human being, like, wonderful. Mm-hmm.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
And so, like, she struggles because she's always seen, like, this idea of... And I really don't want to make this political, but, like, the left is being the good guys, right? And, you know, and I come back to her and I'm like, there aren't...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
good guy like you're thinking about it wrong like there's no good guys and bad guys like that's not necessarily how the world works like there are bad people who do evil things for sure but we can't put them in these buckets but i brought up the human trafficking the sex trafficking as a as an issue and she was like no that's not real that's all misinformation like where where can where like obviously i i know you guys have resources at deliver fund but like i i
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
How do we make this tangible for people to understand what is actually fucking... I mean, this is one of the most horrific things that happens in our world, right? Maybe, you know, it's certainly... It's there at the top level of horrific things that can possibly happen. Being fucking trafficked into this country and having to have sex as a minor or worse.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
I don't think people know that. I mean, honestly, what you just said, I mean, this is something that I've even looked into. I had no idea that this was predominantly inside the States issue. Why is this not, like, why is this not the most unified topic? Like, when the movie, and I cannot believe that I'm forgetting the name of the movie that came out about the guy that went down to Mexico.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
But it wasn't a unifying topic. Even even if even if it's a whole fiction just to bring awareness to the topic. Right. Like even, you know, that being true, how that movie got immense hate. And I'm like, I just can't wrap my head around. I mean, this seems like the most unifying topic that should exist. We do not want our children to be sex trafficked.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Yeah, full stop. Like, you would think everyone would be kumbaya, arms locked. Like, let's find these people. Let's go freaking get them. Like, I can't understand. Like, what is the counter argument? Why is it not... You know, and maybe I'm sure you have politicians that are behind what you're doing and helping you at some level.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
But like, how is our political class not just like this has to end, period. Let's go get them. Like we can have a war on on drugs and marijuana. You know, we can't we can't have a war on the kids getting trafficked. Like, I don't I don't understand the mentality. Like, what is the counter argument to what you're saying? How could anyone push back against this?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
If men didn't want the product, there would be no market, and they would try to sell the product someplace else. I mean, that's how it works. So if men like us don't stand up,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Dude, this is why I was so excited to have you on the show, because these are the kind of things that just drive me absolutely crazy. I'm a firm, I'm a huge fan of Jordan Peterson and his mindset and the way he approaches things. And he has this mentality, act as if. Right. And it started out of his belief in God when he first started.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
I found Jordan Peterson before 12 Rules for Life, which is a book that changed my life. But I found him because he did a 17 episode series on Genesis. Right. So where he breaks down an hour and a half. Dude, I'll go check that out. Yeah, we recommend you got to go way back in his archive, but you'll find it. It's 17 episodes. It's long, but he approaches it from a very pragmatic standpoint.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
And, you know, what he says is because at the time he didn't he wasn't. He believed in the lessons but hadn't necessarily figured out his true relationship to God. So people would ask him all the time at that time. This is like 2015, 2016. He got asked a bunch, you know, do you believe in God? He would get that question constantly. And he said, what I believe is...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
The Bible is the best set of rules for living a purpose driven, fulfilled life. That's what I believe it today. He goes, and my relation and how I approach God is I don't, he goes, I don't know if he exists or not, but I act as if he does. And he says, what that does is it is what I know, what I know that's going to do mentally is is push me in the direction to believing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
I will believe at some point as I act through the lessons that Jesus taught us, right? So I think it's a wonderful mindset. So what I try to coach people and I talk about on the show too is like, okay, you're not that thing today. You're not the guy that can go to a community event and introduce yourself to a girl and have her be interested. You're not that guy today, okay?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
The only option you have is to act as if you were. Just go act as if you were that guy. You don't have to be that guy. Pretend. Go pretend to be that guy. And what's going to happen is the more you pretend to be a fit guy, to be a guy that doesn't waste time on porno or waste time on social media, the more you act as the person that you would like yourself to be,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
And surprisingly and shockingly, you eventually become that person. It means start as an act. And this goes the same for entrepreneurs, right? You might not know what you're doing, but if you act as an entrepreneur act, solving problems, working through things, all of a sudden you wake up one day and you're like, holy, I'm like an entrepreneur that like builds stuff and runs companies.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
And, you know, all of a sudden you wake up and you're that thing. And yeah. But sorry for that diatribe, but like... It's the whole fake it till you make it thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
All the way back to the first point, if you, and there's a book behind me that was written that kind of shares this too, 10X is easier than 2X. If you shoot for the massive goal, the massive, ridiculous, unbelievable, unacceptable, unreasonable goal, and you miss, you still have an enormous win.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
But if you shoot for what you think is possible and you miss, you're still unsatisfied, you're still unfulfilled, you feel like a loser. And the decisions become clearer, right? With that goal that you set, There's like one path to getting that done, right? Like I have to do this and I have to raise this and we need this technology and I need these three groups on board and blah, blah, blah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
There is one path to hit that goal. And now you know exactly what you need to do versus the people who wake up every day. And earlier in my life, I'm just as guilty of this as anybody where you have like seven things and your goals aren't that big. So you're not really sure what to do every day. So you start spending your time on... you know, tasks that don't add value.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
And, uh, dude, I, I could talk to you all frigging day, Nick. I absolutely love this. We're going to have links to, um, deliver fund. We're going to have links to your website in the description, whether you're watching on YouTube or listening, just scroll down, you'll find that stuff. And, uh, My man, I want this show to be a supporter of Deliver Fund.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
So I'm going to wait after we get done offline and figure out ways that we can kind of build helping push people because this is something that's near and dear to my heart. I coach all my kids' sports teams. I'm heavily involved. Our kids are so incredibly important to the security and sanctity of this country. And it's our God-given responsibility to protect them
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
And I think the work you're doing is absolutely incredible. I couldn't be more honored to be on the show, man. So any other places, any other final place that you'd like to send people if they just want to get involved in your world?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Appreciate you, man. Thank you so much.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
in a crude laboratory in the basement of his home.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Also, dude, those are the people who fall apart. Those are the ones that you read the stories about that become alcoholics or get drug addicted or do all this crazy stuff because they're lost. And it's like a ship at sea with no direction. Right. I mean, that's that's what happens if you don't find this purpose. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
for human and sex trafficking in the world is deplorable in the purest sense of that name. And specifically, Nick talks about how he was able to achieve the success of graduating from a university like Hartford, special operations, kinetic team at the CIA, and why he is applying all those skills, all that knowledge that he developed to fighting human and sex trafficking.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Why do you think societally, at least a loud faction that looks at Bezos, Jobs, Musk, you know, and vilifies them for their continued pursuit at that mission? Is it misunderstanding? Is it jealousy? Is it this... Kind of is it just insecurity? Is it a lack of education?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Like to me, I look at someone like this is something that has bothered me a lot recently because I look at Elon Musk and maybe it's because I can detach some of his personality or life things that he that make him who he is.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
from all the good that this human being is creating in terms of, you know, you don't have to like all his products, but the dude is creating things that seemingly are exciting. He's executing. Yeah, okay.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
So, like, I look at that, and then you have people over here shouting about how he's a demon and he's Hitler and he's, and I can't, and I'm usually pretty good at getting to the root of the psychology of where something comes from, And I have really struggled with this because I thought I had it figured out.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
And then every once in a while, I'll get messages from people because, you know, maybe I'll, you know, reshare something that I think he said that was good or whatever. And they'll be like, and I'm like, I don't understand how you can see it that way. Like, what is going on with that mentality? Why are we, why do we vilify?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Why is there such a vocal portion of our population that vilifies people who just push hard with purpose? Like, why is that so offensive to some people?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Guys, I'm going to have a link below to deliverfund.org. If this is something that you believe in, if you believe that it is our responsibility as Americans, as adults to protect our children, then I highly recommend you scroll down, donate to deliverfund.org. You can give, you know, every dollar counts. You can give 10 bucks. It doesn't really matter.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
I think you're right. I think that, you know, when you dig into who puts these messages out about, you know, any of these individuals that are that are creating and building and trying, trying, you know, like you said, you don't have to agree with their how they're going about it. But they are they are purposefully efforting to try to make society better.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
When you see the people who are coming at them, none of them produce anything.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
It takes two minutes to do, and we can start to fight to fight back against this absolutely horrific activity that is happening in our country. This is an incredible episode. Nick is just filled with knowledge and his achievement and the way he describes what we can start doing to manifest the things in our life that we want to happen. This is one of those episodes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Former CIA Agent Exposes the Truth About Trafficking
Let's say someone is sitting here listening to this and has the self-awareness to say, you know, maybe I have been I've been a little critical. I've been a little snipey. I've been a little, you know, insert critical from and coming from a place of of insecurity or etc. And they want to start, but they would like to change this about themselves.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
We're so we're in the middle of our seed round. We're looking for three. We have mill checking hand in bank already all like 25 to 100 checks. And then we're looking for about a million and a half. If you just start. Yeah. Yeah. So yep. So we got that first million with a lead, which is great that that basically puts everyone at ease. I already have a couple of the strategics in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
So you have to build your products in a way that matches that particular unique characteristic as one example. And so we're trying to stay in the industry, which limits our pool of investors, but I think we'll be able to get it done pretty quickly here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Yeah, that's a little different than what we're doing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Dude, I love what Angel's doing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Let's say you weren't raised with someone who was giving you these lessons. And I completely agree. And I do this to my kids constantly. I had two great parents. We were very poor, lived in the middle of nowhere. My parents were divorced. My dad was a mechanic on the railroad. My mom was a receptionist. We didn't have really anything, except I was blessed because I had love, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
So that was a really good kicker, right? I had two parents that loved me and cared about me. But I didn't get lessons from them. They were just trying to get by doing the best they could. So what I try to do with my children is instill on them the lessons that I've had to learn over the course of my life. And many of them are very similar to what you're describing. My kids go to Catholic school.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
And... And I'm reinforcing that to them. So I'm hoping that someday, you know, they'll sit on a podcast or wherever and be like, hey, my dad put some decent shit in my head when I was a kid and it's working now, right? I hope, you know, that's the hope. But my point is, or my question is, let's say that that wasn't your life, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
You didn't have those lessons instilled and you're sitting here and you're struggling with this belief in yourself because maybe you haven't been able to prove it in any part of your life or you've never seen that success that you
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
hoped for right how do you how would you recommend or how do you coach people on starting to transition that mindset from this hope based mindset I hope I become this thing I hope that I achieve this goal to I see myself running on a Saturday on the beach by myself when everyone else is in the ICU enjoying the success that I just achieved I can see it I believe it it's going to happen like I
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
I know that's a big swing, but what are some of the early steps that someone could do to start to crack? And more from, at least the way I'm describing it, from a hope-based mindset to a belief-based mindset.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
I had a conversation with a good buddy, been a friend for 25 years. Super smart guy. Anytime I'm raising for any company or whatever, when we get to the strategic part of it, there's a group of buddies I always just offer to. Dude, throw in 20,000 if you want. Just, you know, if I can make you some money, I'd love to do it, you know, whatever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Yeah, I was going to say, he started hunting you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
So we're having, we're talking last night on the phone and we get done with that portion of the talk and we, you know, kind of swings over to like life and stuff. And I'm very interested in like,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
And the belief that I have, so completely agree with everything you just said, except I think there is this false stage between the fourth stage and the fifth stage self-actualization in which we could potentially get corrupted. And it happens because of status, because of our desire for status in a community, in our family, with an individual, et cetera. And what I mean by that is,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
We believe that we need a purpose, yet the purpose we choose is a purpose that actually puts us in a status position that we desire. We don't actually desire the effort of the purpose, right? And we find ourselves down these paths and we could even be successful to a certain extent
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
But ultimately, you know, this is where I see those, you know, you meet a millionaire or, you know, I haven't met too many billionaires, but, you know, you meet people that are very rich and, you know, there's many in our community and some of them are happy as hell. Good family. They like their life. They have work they do. They give the chair. Awesome.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
And then you'll meet someone else who has all the money, rips the Ferrari down Main Street of Saratoga, sits in the box. I live near Saratoga Racecourse. So, you know, sits in the prime box in the seats and watch. Yet they're miserable all the time, constantly. And it's like, what's the difference between those two?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
politics and what's happening in the world and very pro america very pro you know especially where we're kind of headed now versus where we were headed and i just like i find it intriguing like i'm just interested in it you know and and and he was like i don't even so i mentioned something that would be like base knowledge for you and me i can't even remember what topic i brought up and he like had no idea and i said bud
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
And in my opinion, the defining characteristic is often that they lived a life based a purpose. They had a purpose based on status. and not a purpose based on what you just described. And one, I'm interested in your take on that idea, that concept. And two, if you do agree, how do we sidestep that from your opinion? How do we avoid that? How do we keep status as a driving force
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
How do we not allow our purpose to get corrupted by a desire or a belief that you need to have status? Because people are going to tell you, like when I tell people that I want to grow this podcast to be one of the top podcasts in the world, that I love bringing individuals like yourself. And if there's one idea someone takes just one in our time together, that
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
just tunes somebody up and gets them to even make a micro change in their life that sets them on a better direction, every bit of effort and time that I spend putting this thing together is worthwhile to me. That's why I love doing it, right? People look at me and they're like, You want to be a podcaster? I'm like, well, you know what I mean? Like, yeah. And so but I don't give a shit. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Like I have this piece of wood. One of my audience members made this for me. GNF, you know, give no fucks. Right. We tend to be a little crass on the show. So but he made this for me. Send it to me in the mail. I'm so happy. I have it right here behind me. It's a good reminder. But it's this idea that like. I just, I meet so many people that are like, if only my wife supported me, I would do this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Or if only I didn't have kids, I would do this. Or, you know, my buddies give me a ton of shit for wanting to do this and then they don't do it. And it's like, that's such a barrier, such an anchor for people. And I'm sure they're, just like you said,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
19 years old, the whole way, you're not big enough, you're not strong enough, you're not performing well enough, I'm sure there's a million reasons, but you plowed through it. How did you avoid letting that status impact you?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
what do you mean you don't know what I'm talking about? And he's like, I don't pay attention to that shit. And I'm like, Dude, you have two kids, you have a wife, you own a business, right? Like, how do you not at least have your periscope up a little on what's happening in the world, right? He's like, oh, I find I'm happier if I just don't know. And that, it dawned on me in that moment.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Do you think everybody intrinsically inside of them has that why purpose? You know, I've met people, I've talked to people and, you know, you get to that second level and they start.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
We're going to collect those all at once. I'm doing the rounds on the funds. I'm trying to stay in this round inside the insurance industry because insurance, particularly property casualty insurance, it's so nuanced, dude. There are certain things about the insurance industry and particularly property casualty that are just like it only happens this way in this space.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Not that this isn't something I've thought about in the past, but like, it really hit me hard because this, he used to be like, when we first got done playing baseball, we all moved to Washington, D.C., I wasn't interested in politics at the time, although I wish I was because I probably would have gotten involved. I just find politicians fascinating for how fucking nuts they are.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Could you maybe expand upon that idea of surrender?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Gary, I could talk to you all day, man. I mean, I feel like we haven't even scratched the surface of the different shit that you do. This has been incredible. I want to be respectful of your time and of the audiences. Dude, you have a tremendous Instagram channel. I love the stuff you put out. You have coaching programs. You have a lot of other work.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
If people want to get deeper into your world, which I know they're going to want to, where would you send them so they can start their journey with what you're creating?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
This guy's a former press secretary for a senator, right? His first job out of college was as a press secretary for this – he was a horrible liberal senator out of Minnesota who didn't even last – he lasted one term and he was gone. But he – I was like, how do you not know?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
as always i'll have those links whether you're watching on youtube or wherever you listen to podcasts just scroll down you'll be able to connect with garrett highly highly recommend that you do dude i'd love to have you back sometime because literally we got to like one-tenth of the stuff that i wanted to chat with you about but this was so incredible and to me i like to focus on mindset because as you've so articulately described and weaving both faith and the secular ideas together
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
If you don't, tactics, strategy, all that kind of stuff that people get hung up on, if you're not approaching those with, I like to use the word filters, but mindset, framework, whatever, it doesn't matter. It's not going to work, or if it does, it won't last, or like you said, you'll get caught in these finite loops, and you'll never actually get to where you want to go.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
So when I can go deep on mindset with someone like yourself, I tend to be very selfish and take that. Plus, it's my podcast, so I can do whatever the fuck I want. Dude, appreciate the hell out of you. Would love to have you back someday. Thank you so much.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
And I think that mentality of people just – there's so much stuff going on in their life, and a lot of that is problems that they make themselves, that they then – can't even handle thinking bigger, which is how we find ourselves in these fucking positions.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Yeah, it's like you can only play so many rounds of golf. And I love golf. I'm not one of those guys who hates golf. I love it. I find the discipline associated with the sport to be, that's what captures me. You know what I mean? I'm not there for the beers and the laughs, although those can be fun too. But those aren't even my favorite rounds, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
I like the focus that it takes to get through a round, navigate a course. I find it very intriguing. But you can only play so many rounds of golf. And it's like, what do you do now? Right? Like, what's the thing now? And I just say to myself, like, I hope it never happens. But if I got to defend my people, I'm coming with max effort to defend whoever tries to fuck with my people.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Yeah. Dude, this might sound trite, but I think it's relevant. At some point in the early 2000s,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
we lost the social contract that if you say some stupid shit i get to punch you in the face when i was growing up in the 80s and the 90s there was a social contract that if you're out on the wiffle ball field or the basketball court or recess at school and you said some stupid shit and you crossed a certain line with that individual there was a consequence for that action right you write a check you're gonna have to cash it right at some point that social contract got broken
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
I'm sure there are people smarter than me that know when it was, but it happened sometime between 2000 and 2010. And I firmly believe that that, with a whole bunch of other, we'll call them unspoken social contracts, that were created that have destroyed particularly men's disposition for for aggression and defense of what's theirs and what's right, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Like somewhere in there, men started outsourcing that to faceless, nameless entities.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
And I've been CEO of fitness companies, I've been CEO of tech companies, I've been in business for a while, done a few different industries, but this space, which for some reason I keep coming back to over and over again, I've been technically in it for 20 years now,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
And I think this applies to our current time with AI. I was reading an article or an essay, I guess, that Paul Graham wrote where I thought he was right on the button with this. And I don't agree with everything Paul Graham says, but I do think he's incredibly intelligent guy. And he wrote this article was titled Rights and Right Nots. Right. That was the title.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
And I'll link it up in the show notes, guys. You can go check it out if you're interested. I just assume we started the podcast at this point, so we'll just keep rolling. There are going to be people who utilize AI to be better at what they do. Awesome. And there are going to be people who outsource what they do to AI. And he said, neither is necessarily wrong, except for the fact that
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
The individuals who completely outsource the skill to AI are going to lose the skill. And now all of a sudden you will reach a point where you can't write. You don't know how to articulate a thought. You don't know how to make a convincing argument or get someone to buy something or know how to negotiate because you have outsourced.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
And I think that goes to what you're saying about the shareholder stuff. People don't know how to analyze a stock or analyze a company or even... It comes back to the economic principle of there's no free lunch. Yeah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Yeah. And the other thing, too, is AI can't think nonlinear. Maybe it will be someday, but essentially that's AGI, right? You can listen to Sam Altman and then you listen to other people who, you know, where we are at. I'm sure we're closer than we think, but whatever, it doesn't matter. I don't know that for sure. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
like there are just certain aspects of the business that if you don't know how they work, you don't understand why you have to do certain things. And I've raised money from people outside the industry before and it tends to not work because they get very frustrated and it's like, Guys, we're not selling T-shirts, right? You have 50 different states with 50 different regulations.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
I know in our company, what we're building, you know, we're not open AI level tech, but we're pretty close for our deep vertical niche. You know, we're doing stuff. We're building all agentic models, which is fascinating tech and it's really fun, but
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Like, I wrote this post on LinkedIn today, and basically the idea was this whole concept of, while AI can think linearly and that's great, we as humans are the nonlinear problem solvers and we can't outsource that skill, right? A couple of the comments were like, well, humans just think, and I'm like, no, you're missing the point.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
ai can't think at a second level today for the most part humans that don't think at a second level are just simply lazy right those are two completely different things and because you don't want to take the time to think deeper about a topic and go to a second or third level does not mean that you should outsource all of that ideation to a computer and just expect it to produce the right answer again you're losing that skill and that's what i keep trying to push particularly to the insurance industry because
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
I'll tell you the industry that I work in the insurance industry is particularly susceptible to tools, AI drastically removing the need for humans in places where they have been necessary. And you know, my pitch to them is always, whether I'm doing a keynote or whatever, this is a massive opportunity, but we have to keep the humanness of your business or you will lose it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
And then you are just like everyone else.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Completely and utterly agree. And this is actually a point that I make in my keynotes too, particularly to insurance agents, because they tend to be And for those of you who aren't in insurance, you know, use this example as a microcosm. There might be some similarities to whatever industry you operate in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
But the insurance industry in particular tends to be technological, late majority or laggards, right? And they vote and because, you know, they base that on we're, you know, risk averse, which is all nonsense. It's just the nature of the industry. And I don't want to bore everyone with those problems.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
However, my point is, I firmly believe that AI is the first piece of technology that has been brought
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
to humanity, but certainly to our industry, where the early adopters who gain the expertise and the ability not just to use the tools but understand where the tools fit into their business, they will create so much distance between themselves and the laggards that the laggards are gonna struggle to catch up, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Because each new advancement in AI, those early adopters who've gone through the pain of figuring out what works, what doesn't, how to implement it, how to train your people, et cetera, They're just going to get exponentially better with each advancement. And you're not going to be able to outpace them and catch back up.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
There's a real chance that it will marginalize a significant portion of that space. And it's hard to get that through people's heads. They're like, well, I got to do this and I got to do that. And I have all this busy work to do. And if you could pull back for a second and take a broader view, there's so much opportunity.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
And I struggle whether or not I want to be in the convincing game because I kind of don't like that game. But it feels like a message that needs to be shared because surprisingly, there are so few people sharing it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
You have 5,000 carriers. Every single carrier has a different process for how you work with them. Everyone pays differently. Everyone's product is different. You then have 36,000 independent agencies spread out the country who all work in different ways, who all sell different things, who all have different issues. There isn't like a one size fit all solution.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
So Garrett, I want to change directions a little bit here. So much of your work is coaching and teaching and training and helping people become the best. You operate at a very high level. You have some incredible people. You're explaining how one of your coaching clients, you help them come up.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Now you're doing a podcast with them and they have all these incredible contracts and all this kind of stuff. I'm really interested how, like what framed your belief structure, your mindset that you used to approach to business, right? You have military career, faith is a big part of your life. What were the inspirations or what helped you frame?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Men Are Losing Their Edge — And How to Get It Back
Like when you look back, you're like, these were the experiences, these were the ideas, or these were the people that really helped me frame my, the set filters I use to operate in life on a daily basis.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
feeling good and confident in whatever you have to do in that second half of your day. No one wants to stink. No one wants to be around someone that stinks. Mando is your odor control partner. Use this sound code Ryan at checkout shop Mando.com. Okay. Let's get back to the episode. All right. Lesson number six, mental health is a practice.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I'm going to go back to thinking about this from the standpoint of like a startup founder, because I know a lot of you are in business that listen to this show or are considering side hustles, etc. If you're not, if your mental health isn't in a good place, it's almost impossible to get these things done. Right. This was a hard lesson for me because I just always thought I had good mental health.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Until really bad shit started to happen, like getting fired from a job that I loved. I had a startup that I worked on and launched, and it just didn't go anywhere. And the reason it didn't go anywhere wasn't because the product was bad or because I had bad strategies and tactics. It's because I wasn't here, right? I didn't have the mental health skills. to push through those hard times.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I started having all these limiting beliefs, all these negative thoughts started running through my brain. I hadn't yet fully understood how the voice in your head isn't you and how that voice is often not helping you move forward in your life. And there's all these little aspects of mental health that, you know, we can dive into this in future episodes as well.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
We've talked a lot about it on the show in the past. We will continue to because this is such an important topic to our success. Mental health is a practice. So all that being said, taking out the specifics of mental health, I want to focus on this idea of practice because this is the lesson. You don't go see a counselor or therapist one time and get fixed. That's not the way it works.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
The best advice that's ever been given to me by a mentor was this. Find a counselor, make a recurring meeting with them every two weeks for the rest of your life, and just consider it a life expense because mental health is a practice, right? It is about consistency. It's about doing the work. It's about tiny incremental gains.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
If you're listening to the audio podcast, Spotify, Apple, wherever, make sure you head over to YouTube and leave your comments there. And I will make sure that we dig into those. And if there's any that warrant expansion in a future episode, we'll make sure we get that done as well.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
It's about learning how not to react, how to manifest things in your life, how to reinforce good ideas, good thoughts, good beliefs, right? That mental health is something we need to constantly be working on. And early in my life, I may have a problem, talk to someone, feel like I'm fixed, and then that same exact thing happens again. Because I didn't consistently work on the concept.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I didn't consistently work to get better. I didn't see it as a practice. I saw it as like, you know, fixing the leg of a chair that breaks, right? You fix it once and you're back in business. That's not the case with our mental health. It is something we will be working on our entire lives.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And if you truly want to be successful in whatever it is that you're trying to do, we must focus on our mental health and we must think of it as a practice, not as something we can patch and fix and move on. Lesson number seven, there are seasons to life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
If you can understand that everything in your life is a season, it is way easier to get through the bad seasons and way easier to prepare yourself for
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
for bad seasons when you're in a good season what does that mean it means that early in your life you most likely will not be making the amount of money you want to be making you most likely will not have the network that you want you most likely so what does this idea of seasons actually mean it means everything has a season again going back to our analogy with the startup founder
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
The first season when you create a startup and launch that business is going to be you grinding 10, 12, 16 hours or more a day. It's just the nature of getting a business up off the ground. And it's going to burn you out unless you can understand that that is a season that you just have to get through.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
okay lesson number one what you focus on is who you become this is a core mantra to my life it is number one for a reason it is a defining principle in who i am and how i run my life because three years ago i was diagnosed with hyperactive bipolar which means at any given moment i am bouncing between manic and hyper manic which means at all moments of the day i am out over my skis going 100 miles an hour mentally
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
You just have to get through that season from launch to escape velocity where you are grinding every minute of every day. It's all encompassing. Maybe you're letting relationships go. Maybe you're...
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
struggling in other places because you have to get through this season of getting your business to a place where you can move on to the next season, which is starting to bring in employees, starting to bring in new systems, new processes, maybe tools that you can afford at that point.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
They're gonna help you systematize, build process, build consistency in your business that will allow you to work less hours, but reap more benefit. It's a season, right? You have seasons of your marriage. You have seasons of your relationship with your children. You have seasons with friends. You have seasons with everything.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And framing where you are as a season allows you to emotionally rationalize the things that you're doing
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
at this moment so that you can set yourself up to move beyond that season to where you ultimately want to be for so long i didn't understand this concept this is one of the this is one of the lessons that i've learned very recently in my life i would launch businesses and get so frustrated by the just constant unending grind knowing that that was what was required
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
but not understanding that someday that was going to have to turn. And I would just keep grinding and keep grinding, even though we would be hiring people.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And even though we would be bringing in new tools and building new systems, I would keep grinding and grinding until I had someone literally grabbed me and shake me at a conference when I was complaining about this and say, this is just a season move on. When I started to research this topic, I started to understand what they meant and it gave me some emotional release. It allowed me to say, okay,
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I'm in this grinding season. How do I move on to the next one? And that thought gave me the light at the end of the tunnel to realize that I hadn't given up a corporate job to become an entrepreneur, to only work twice as many hours, twice as hard without seeing the benefit. And that this concept of seasons was a game changer for me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And I highly recommend you dig into it and spend some time thinking about what season you're currently in and where you want to get to. Lesson number eight, give no fucks. I have a little wood sculpture that one of the audience members here has made for me when I talked about this concept the first time on the show. Right here, made for me right here. Thank you, Gordon, for making this for me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
It's right here. Sits right back over my shoulder. Reminder every day to give no fucks. And what that means is believe in yourself, not in the opinions and expectations of others. If someone's got a comment, let them have a comment. Use it as a data point.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Use every comment, every negative piece of feedback that you get, every you don't have the resources, you don't have the knowledge, you'll never, you don't have enough, you're not capable. Whatever those negative things are that people put into your world, Use them as data points, but ultimately give no fucks.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
If you believe in your path, believe in your path, push forward, and that's all that matters. It's the only way to get to where you want to go because your path is your path. GNF, give no fucks. Lesson number 10, you cannot improve everything all at once.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Pick one thing, master that thing, execute that thing, improve that thing, systematize that thing, build that thing, then move on to the next thing. The more projects you have going on at the same time, the less successful you will be in any one of those projects and the longer all of those projects will take to complete.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
The reality, again, going back to a previous lesson around living in reality, is that we can't always only have one thing going on in order to move our business forward. However, we can have one primary focus. And if we... give as much or the majority of our focus to one thing at a time, we will be the best that we can be at that thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
We will get it done the fastest and we'll be able to move on and then do the same for the next major priority task, et cetera, that we have to achieve. But too often, we hit this, all of a sudden, I want to become a better person or I want to be a successful entrepreneur. And we put 10, 15, 20 different priorities on our table and try to execute them all at once.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And ultimately, none of them are as good as we could have possibly done if we had just focused on them. And many of them don't ever get done because we just don't have the brainpower to scale ourselves over that many different priorities at one time. Do one thing at a time. and be incredibly good at that one thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I have had to build into my life systems, processes, mantras, et cetera, that allow me to stay focused because anything that doesn't drop a massive amount of dopamine into my system immediately gets disregarded. And for a long time, I thought that this was just who I was. I was scatterbrained or I was high energy or whatever label or moniker you wanted to put on it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
That way you can give your best effort, produce your best product, and do it in the most efficient way possible, and then move on to the next thing. Number 11, be proud of your faith, whatever that is. For so long, I did not talk about my faith. I'm a firm believer in God. I have my own relationship with God and Christianity. I was raised a Catholic.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I've kind of moved a little away from the Catholic Church. However, I still very much believe you know, practice Christianity. I read the Bible and I often on this show will quote biblical verses. My faith is important to me and it's a driving force and how I live my life and who I am as a person.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
You don't have to agree with my faith, but in order for you to understand who I am and what guides me as a person and the ideas, concepts, strategies that I share with you on this show, my faith is a big part of it. And maybe that turns you off and that's okay. Then that means that this isn't the best place for you. And thinking through your own life, whatever your faith is, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
It is okay to share that because it is an upfront filter for the people who are not going to be good partners, good friends, good prospects, good customers, sharing who we are and the things that drive our core values. They're not detractors.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
right they're magnets because while you may lose some people on the on the you know the tertiary who who who who don't necessarily align with your core values you're going to attract even more people who do align with your core values and those people will be great friends they will be great partners they will be great customers so whatever your faith is don't be scared to show it don't hide it it doesn't mean you have to wear it on your sleeve and you know
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
shout it from the rooftop every single time you create a piece of content or interact with another human, right? But in a tasteful, respectable way and in a way that, you know, serves you and allows you to present your core value structure, do not hide your faith. Lesson number 12, consistency is the killer flex.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
So you see so many flexes on social media, you know, I achieve this or I have this car or I go on these vacations and all that is whatever it is. And I guess for some of you, if you want that lifestyle, maybe those flexes are attractive. But for me, consistency is the killer flex. I want I want to align myself. I want to follow the people.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I want to learn from the individuals who have built a life that allows them to consistently show up over and over and over again. I do not want to align myself with the flash in the pans or the people that put something out and then they're gone because they made some money and they come back with something else and they're gone. And then now they're a crypto expert. Now they're an AI expert.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Now they're, you know, a political expert, whatever consistency. What does that person do over and over and over and over again? with value, with passion, with energy that provides value, right? That's the killer flex is I'm so passionate, engaged in this topic. I'm so excited about this topic.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I want to create value on this topic so much that I come back over and over and over and over and over again. That consistency is the killer flex. Lesson number 13, there is no path. There's no path. Like this whole idea that you can buy a course and follow someone's seven step funnel process and make all this money is, you know, maybe in the short term, but there is no path.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
right your path is going to be yours it's going to have a little bit of of this and it's going to have you know some some pieces from over here and you know you're going to hit this roadblock that no one else hit and you're going to have to skirt it in a unique way and then maybe the next three steps you could actually follow someone but then you know your path's going to diverge because the economy changes the market changes the technology changes there is no path and the core
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
idea behind there is no path is that the winners are adaptable when necessary and rigid when it's required. Walking the line between adaptability and rigidity is what's going to make you successful. It's the entrepreneur journey. It's the success journey, whatever that is, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Whether you're trying to be a better partner, father, whatever the thing is that you want to become, there isn't a path. Because if you're trying to be a better parent, right, your kids are so unique that you can't just do what everyone else does. They're going to have different needs, different desires, different things that they're interested in, different energy levels.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
The lesson came in the form of understanding the true impact of my inability to stay consistently focused on a single topic without these systems or processes in place. It takes on average our brain 23 minutes to regain full focus on a topic when we switch our focus. So if you are working on a major project and get distracted easily by focus,
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
They're going to have different, you know, just ways of talking to you, even inside your own family that, you know, sure you can read books and get little tips and all this kind of stuff. But ultimately, with this idea of there is no path is accumulate mantras, accumulate value structures, and then be able to pull them off the shelf as needed in the moments in which they're required.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
But to be so rigid to one plan is going to cause you issues and to always flex and adapt. is also not always going to be the right path so it's walking that line between when to stick to your guns and when to adjust course that's the game of life and for those of us that believe we can find someone who's done who's lived a life that we would like to mimic and then to strictly follow their path
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
is going to cause more problems than it creates opportunities, right? Learn from people, research, reading biographies, best-selling tried-and-true books from people. I have a friend who says, only read dead authors, right? Only read people whose books have lasted the test of time. Okay, take in these inputs as much as you can,
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
and create a shelf of of systems of ideas of core concepts of methodologies mantras and then as needed as the situation requires the skill is to pull from them and make your path yours because we're not interested in the person who followed the path of someone else we're interested in the people who created their own path and whatever that looks like. Lesson number 14, and this is a short one.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
It's either hell yes or it's no. This comes from Derek Sivers. He's written a book on this. He's done multiple podcasts on this. If the answer isn't hell yes, it must be no. This goes all the way back to lesson number one on focus. It's either hell yes or it's no. Incredibly difficult life lesson that I fumble with all the time. So this is one I am still efforting on.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
If it's not hell yes, it's got to be no. Because there are enough hell yes opportunities out there that you do not need to say yes to everything that comes your way. So if it doesn't feel right, if it doesn't fit in this moment, respectfully decline.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
But if someone hits you with something that immediately lights you up, that gets you sitting up straighter in your chair, that gets you leaning forward, that you can't wait to be a part of, and it's a hell yes, do that thing. Because you have much more likely a chance of being successful when it's a hell yes than when it's a maybe or okay or that's fine.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Number 15, this is another straightforward one. However, so many of us miss this. Life is not supposed to be easy. Life is not supposed to be easy. There's no easy. I was talking to my kids the other day, and they were talking about where my older son is 11, and he plays baseball a lot. He's a big fan. We've been playing baseball at a travel level since he was seven. Don't judge me. He loves it.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
We were talking about hitting. And he goes to hitting lessons and he had had two or three really good lessons in a row. And then we had a lesson where just it was as if we hadn't had all the previous months of lessons that we had gone to. And he just had a bad day. And he was like, man, you know, he's talking about easy. And I go, but this is this is not easy.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
This is this is not something everyone can do. Life is not supposed to be easy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
this this bad lesson that you had this is a good thing this is this is an opportunity because it shows you one how far you've come and one how there's always going to be bad days because it's not easy and it's the consistency of work that allows us to have one bad day and then have three good days after that but this idea that anything worth doing is supposed to be easy we just need to throw that out that is a limiting belief that just absolutely crushes our ability to be successful
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
a Netflix show you want to watch or video games or text messages or, you know, scrolling through Instagram or Tik TOK. And then you try to come back to that major project. It is going to take your brain 23 minutes before you regain your full focus. That is a massive loss in output and productivity.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Life is not supposed to be easy. It's not supposed to. If you believe in God, God did not create the world to be easy. Read the Bible. It's suffering everywhere. And the challenge is, can we be successful despite the world not being easy? That's where purpose and meaning and happiness and fulfillment and freedom come from.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
is doing the thing despite the fact that it's not easy because nothing worth doing is going to be easy nothing and if you choose easy that will only yield hardships down the road you're essentially if you defer to easy you're just kicking the can to more hardships life is not supposed to be easy throw that concept out assume everything is going to be hard and you will approach life with a new energy a new attitude and you will be highly successful
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Lesson number 16, and this one can be controversial. Double into your strengths. I have so many people that come to me and ask me questions about different things in their business or different things in their lives. And they're talking about they talk about weaknesses. Well, I can't do this or I'm not good at this. And I'm like, OK, what are the things that you're good at?
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
What are your superpowers? What are your competitive advantages in the marketplace? And then they always have one or two. And I'll be like, fuck all those things you're not good at. Hire somebody, create a system, buy a tool that solves that problem. Go double into.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Be the absolute best you can possibly be in the things that allow you to create a competitive advantage, that separate you from everyone else, your superpowers. Double into your strengths. Get even better at the things that come naturally to you. or that you're willing to put the work in to become great at. Double into those things. Forget the weaknesses.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Outsource, systematize, create tools, processes, whatever for the weaknesses. But spending time getting better at things that you may only be at best 50th percentile at does not create true lift in your business. But if you can take yourself from 70th percentile to 95th percentile in a strength, that's where you're going to get real run. That's where you're going to get real success.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
That's where you're going to get real lift, double into your strengths. And if you completely disagree with that, I'd love to hear. Hit me in the comments. This is the one I get a lot of pushback on because people are like, well, you know, you want to be well-rounded, well-rounded. Be really freaking good at one or two things that separate you and watch the needle move. I promise you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Lesson number 17, have the courage to be disliked.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Have the courage to be disliked because when you do things that truly matter, things that stand out, whether that's achievement or your physique or the way you speak and approach your relationship with your spouse or your children or how you involve yourself in your community or feats of physical fitness that you put yourself through like ultra marathons or climbing mountains.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
When you do things that separate you from the crowd, you are going to be disliked. even though those things aren't controversial. You're going to be disliked because people will look at you as an indication of their weakness. Have the courage to be disliked. If you live your life through a filter of wanting to be liked by everyone, you will only find sadness, despair, anxiety, stress.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Being liked is overrated. Have the courage to be disliked because here's the flip side. In your pursuit of greatness, when you have the courage to be disliked, Those who truly appreciate the work that you're putting in, they will love you. So from having the courage to be disliked comes the opportunity of being loved and appreciated and cared for and supported.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And this was something I experienced for a very long time until I started to implement processes in my life. The most powerful process, was time blocking. I am a major proponent of time blocking. My calendar dictates my life. And by doing that, I am able to dictate what things I focus on and where my energy goes. So working out is incredibly important to me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
But if you just try to fit in, if you just do things so that people like you that don't make other people uncomfortable, there's nothing there. There's no depth, shallow, surfacing, and there's certainly no success. All right, here are the two.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
So guys, if you've enjoyed this episode so far, if you're not subscribed to the show, wherever you're listening or watching YouTube, Spotify, Apple, wherever, please subscribe to the show. We put two episodes out every week, an interview every Monday, a solo episode every Thursday, as well as tons of additional content, additional resources that come out through the show, tons of new opportunities.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And being part of this show, just it means a tremendous amount to me. And if you want more of this content, make sure you subscribe. like if that's an option on whatever platform you are. And if you have a comment, a thought, an idea, a question, come over to the YouTube version of the show and leave it in YouTube.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
That's where I try to capture all the comments so that I can respond to everybody and make sure that they get their questions answered and comments replied to. I love you for listening to this show. With that, we have two bonus. You've made it to the bonus section. These are the two ideas that when I was creating this originally, I didn't have written down.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And then as I was going through it, I was actually like, I'm missing these two things. I have to get them in. So the first create more than you consume. This is a huge problem for me. I love consuming content. I love like if you look at my Instagram feed, it's like how to coach baseball, how to coach basketball, motivational quote, you know, like.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
you know other thought leaders comedian stuff i love you know i have a problem with tick tock and instagram mostly instagram more than tick tock but i just you know my brain wants to go consume that stuff and i love listening to podcasts and i love watching youtube videos i just enjoy great content great ideas i love soaking it in however what i have found over the course of my 20 plus years creating content online
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
is that the more you consume, the harder it is to create. It doesn't mean that consuming in a healthy manner and being inspired, getting ideas, things that you can piggyback off of, or ideas that you feel like you have a unique spin on. Inspiration is wonderful, and I'm a huge reader, so I do not want to advocate that we do not consume. But we always want to create more than we consume.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And creation doesn't always just mean content. It can mean putting effort back into the product you're building or into the work that you do or whatever it is that's important to you. But if we are not creating more than we consume, right, you will find that doing any creation becomes harder and harder and harder because we start living in the lives of other people.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
We start living in the thoughts of other people and our own unique ideas start to become corrupted. It's a delicate balance. You have to be very careful.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
But if you can make sure through time blocking, going all the way back to our first lesson, through time blocking, that you are creating more than you're consuming, you will find that your output from creation will continue to go up and up and up. But if that is out of balance, you will never be able to create enough to hit escape velocity.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
so we have reached our last lesson technically lesson number 19 and this is in my opinion if not the most important lesson it is a top three lesson in this list and this goes for anybody who is a leader of anything leader of your family you are a leader of yourself you could be a leader of a company of a community group of sports team if you hold a leadership position in any capacity including yourself you are always to blame
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
You are always to blame as the leader. Whether that is true or not, you are always to blame. Whether you're the one that did the thing or not, you as the leader always to blame. You should always take the blame and you should own it. There is nothing that destroys a team, that destroys a group more than when the leader passes blame.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
It is the unfortunate reality of the position that you are always to blame, right? The buck stops with at the top. The buck stops with the leader. The buck stops with you. You are always to blame. And if you can adopt a mindset that no matter what happens in your business, in your family, in your community group,
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I don't use my body physically in some way, then I have massive amounts of energy reserves that then get dissipated through jumping from topic to topic, from thing to thing, and I ultimately don't get the level of output that I would like. Time blocking allows me to determine who I want to be. I want to be a high performer in terms of the work that I do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Today I'm going to share 17 harsh lessons that I wish I knew in my 20s. As of recording this, I am 43 going on 44. I'll be 44 in two weeks. And as birthdays tend to do, you reflect on where you are, what are the ideas that are driving you as a person today, and you think back to where you came from. And I did not come from a household, from a family that taught these lessons.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
on your team, whatever it is that you are a leader of, that you are always the one to blame, then you own the solution and you can execute making sure that that thing does not happen again. But if you pass the buck, it creates bitterness, resentment. People start to stop listening to you. They stop respecting you. They stop supporting you.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
But when you always take the blame, when you remove the blame from the people who are doing the things in support of your mission, of your goal, and you take on that blame and then you support them and making sure it doesn't happen again, they will run through fucking walls for you. They will run through walls because what they know. is they are operating from a place of safety.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And I don't mean safe spaces in the woke regard. I mean, from a place where they can make decisions, they can execute, they can have some level of autonomy to do their job and be great at what they do without always feeling like the guillotine is over the top of their head and that one mistake is going to come down and crush whatever it is that they're doing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
what you're doing you're removing that fear that one mistake is going to kill their career or kill their opportunity you're saying look i know you're going to make mistakes and as long as i feel like you're doing your best i am always to blame i'm always to blame and if there is a systemic problem in the business in terms of an individual or there is someone on the team right you can address that privately through coaching through personal through performance improvement plans through mentorship
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
through training, but there is nothing worse than listening to a leader, get on a call, have something happen, and then pushing that blame on someone else. It just absolutely destroys that group, that company, that team, that community organization, destroys it.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
if you want a leadership position understand that everything is your fault and you are to blame and you are the one that needs to figure out how to solve that problem and if you live that life i promise you you will start to be surrounded by people who will run through walls for you who will love you who will care not just about their own success not just about the company's success but about your personal success and that
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
my friends, is how great things happen. I love you for being here. I hope these 17 slash 19 lessons added some value that you found some things in here that you can start to work on. Leave comments, questions, thoughts here on YouTube. This is the way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
corrupted it's a delicate balance you have to be very careful but if you can make sure through time blocking going all the way back to our first lesson through time blocking that you are creating more than you're consuming you will find that your output from creation will continue to go up and up and up but if that is out of balance you will never be able to create enough to hit escape velocity
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
so we have reached our last lesson technically lesson number 19 and this is in my opinion if not the most important lesson it is a top three lesson in this list and this goes for anybody who is a leader of anything leader of your family You are a leader of yourself. You could be a leader of a company, of a community group, of a sports team.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
If you hold a leadership position in any capacity, including yourself, you are always to blame. You are always to blame as the leader. Whether that is true or not, you are always to blame. Whether you're the one that did the thing or not, you as the leader are always to blame. You should always take the blame. And you should own it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
There is nothing that destroys a team that destroys a group more than when the leader passes blame. It is the unfortunate reality of the position that you are always to blame, right? The buck stops with at the top. The buck stops with the leader. The buck stops with you. You are always to blame.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I want to create incredibly valuable content like what we're watching right now, and I want to be physically fit. Additionally, I am hyper-focused on being a present father in my children's lives. Therefore, I time block every event of theirs that I want or need to go to and make sure that if something else comes up, I am scheduling around those moments.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And if you can adopt a mindset that no matter what happens in your business, in your family, in your community group,
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
in your on your team whatever it is that you are a leader of that you are always the one to blame then you own the solution and you can execute making sure that that thing does not happen again but if you pass the buck it creates bitterness resentment people start to stop listening to you they stop respecting you they stop supporting you but when you always take the blame when you remove the blame from the people
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
who are doing the things in support of your mission of your goal and you take on that blame and then you support them and making sure it doesn't happen again they will run through walls for you they will run through walls because what they know is they are operating from a place And I don't mean safe spaces in the woke regard.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I mean, from a place where they can make decisions, they can execute, they can have some level of autonomy to do their job and be great at what they do without always feeling like the guillotine is over the top of their head and that one mistake is going to come down and crush whatever it is that they're doing. That's what you're doing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
You're removing that fear that one mistake is going to kill their career or kill their opportunity. You're saying, look, I know you're going to make mistakes, and as long as I feel like you're doing your best, I am always to blame. I'm always to blame.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And if there is a systemic problem in the business in terms of an individual or there is someone on the team, you can address that privately through coaching, through performance improvement plans, through mentorship. through training, but there is nothing worse than listening to a leader, get on a call, have something happen, and then pushing that blame on someone else.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
It just absolutely destroys that group, that company, that team, that community organization, destroys it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
if you want a leadership position understand that everything is your fault and you are to blame and you are the one that needs to figure out how to solve that problem and if you live that life i promise you you will start to be surrounded by people who will run through walls for you who will love you who will care not just about their own success not just about the company's success but about your personal success and that
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
my friends, is how great things happen. I love you for being here. I hope these 17 slash 19 lessons added some value, that you found some things in here that you can start to work on. Leave comments, questions, thoughts here on YouTube. This is the way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Because priority number one in my life before anything else that I do is being present for my children. So if I want to be a present dad, a high performer and physically fit, the only way to guarantee that that is a reality is to time block. There are many other systems and processes that I put in place.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I've done some other episodes for the show that you can kind of scroll back through on focus if you want more information on those. And if you would like to know some of the other systems and processes that I use, just leave a comment below and I'm happy to share those with you as well. Lesson number two, life is not fair.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
This is one of the major issues that I have, particularly with individuals who come to me and ask questions. They'll say, I should have gotten this promotion. It's not fair. I should be selling more in this product that I created. It's not fair, right? Why does this person, you know, this person started with money. I didn't, I had to bootstrap.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
This person has some particular experience that allows them to gain more attention. That's not fair. Sorry. None of that matters, right? Like life is not fair. Get over it. The minute you stop thinking in terms of fair, you can start focusing on the things that you need to do to reach your goal. Fair is just a distraction. Going back to lesson one, this idea of fair.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Do not assume that anything is going to be fair. And the flip side of that coin is you should not act in a fair way. If you have a competitive advantage, you should leverage that competitive advantage. I don't mean screwing people. I don't mean lying. I don't mean bait and switch offers. That's not what I'm talking about.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
If you're an incredible copywriter who can get people to click through or to buy a thing, but then the thing is terrible, that is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about competitive advantages you may have. You may not have kids, which gives you a massive advantage.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
advantage over people that do simply by the amount of time that kids take out of your life leverage that advantage right you may have you may come from a family with money and be able and have reserves that you can pull from to seed a business leverage that competitive advantage There's nobody, nobody who matters cares what competitive advantages you come to the game with.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
They only respect your execution of the thing you're trying to do. So do not expect life to be fair. Additionally, do not play too fair. If you have a way to step out ahead of your competition that is unfair, but fair, hopefully morally okay leverage that unfairness because the world the universe isn't fair so just remove fair as an idea from your your mindset and just assume everything is unfair
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
so that you can focus on what you need to do in order to move forward in your life and whatever that goal is that you're trying to pursue. Number three, operate in reality. We see this all the time with political discussions, right? Well, this is what should happen, or this is the way things are supposed. No, reality is reality.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
What is happening on the ground right now, and how do you need to respond to that reality in order to, Stay safe, stay secure, create financial freedom, hit your goals, grow your business, be a better partner, be a better husband, father, whatever it is that you're trying to do. Operate in reality. You cannot change people. right? You cannot change the way reality has set the table.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And it may force you to make decisions you don't want to make. It may force you to operate in a way that you'd rather not operate. However, if that's what reality dictates, that's what you have to do. This goes back to lesson number two about being fair, right? What is happening is what is happening. And far too often when people come to me and
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
We came from a small town. My mother was a receptionist. My father was a laborer. They were great parents, showed me tons of love. But we were just trying to get by day to day. And I didn't have a playbook coming out of my teens into my 20s that allowed me to be successful.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
you know, they have questions or they want, you know, they're looking for a coaching or mentorship relationship. They're talking about the world that doesn't actually exist, right? People buy not because your product is good, but because of what your product does for them and how that makes them feel and how it makes them look to other people in their peer group.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Just because you have a good product doesn't mean it's going to sell. We have to operate in reality, right? Operate in reality. Do not make up these utopian scenarios of the way the world should work and try to build for those. Build for the way the world actually works and the reality that you are presented with at the current moment. Lesson number four. you are going to lose friends.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I wish that I knew this in my early 20s because I have lost so many friends throughout my life for so many different reasons. And I don't mean that in a bad way, right? Some of those friends I just grew apart from. Some of those friends moved away physically and just we didn't have a connection that yielded us to continue to be connected.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Some of those friends I, you know, just disagree with philosophically and we have split apart. Some of those friends haven't, appreciated certain levels of success that I've hit and have become, you know, kind of bitter or resentful in the way that they communicate or passive aggressive. And I've distanced myself from them.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
At the same time, you are going to gain, especially if you are focused on the things that matter to you, friends who align with the new version of yourself. If you are consistently growing, if you are consistently trying to get better, if you are consistently reaching new goals, new heights, new levels... in your work, in your personal development, in your relationships.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
You're going to lose the people who don't want to follow along, and you're going to gain people who align with this new version of yourself. And oftentimes, these friendships that we make later in life are some of the most enduring and meaningful relationships we've ever had.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
So what you're going to learn today are directly lessons that come directly from the beats of my own career, from trying things and failing and trying and failing and learning each step of the way on how to get better at what I do, how to get better as a person and how to set my life up for the success that I enjoy today. And I want to share those with you because That's what we do here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Because many of our early relationships are based on proximity or based on things that don't necessarily matter to us as we grow and mature in our lives, right? You have how many friends in your late teens and your early 20s that are simply based on partying, right? You go out to these bars, you like to drink or whatever the thing is that you like to do.
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19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And they're fun to have as friends at that moment in your life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
But as you mature and you move out of that stage of your life and you want to become more professional and you want to work more in your business and you want to work more in your physical fitness, those friends who want to go and eat crappy food and drink tons of beers, they might not be aligned with this new version of you who doesn't want to do those things and certainly don't want to do those things as often.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
It is okay to lose friends who no longer align with where you are in the current stage of your life. Because I promise you, you will backfill those friends with new people who do align with you. And what I've found over the course of my life is that those new friends are often deeper, richer, more meaningful relationships. Lesson number five. Your health is not a luxury.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
You have to focus on your health. American society is fat as foals. I recently had a guest on the show who shared that 80% of Americans have metabolic syndrome, which essentially means they either have diabetes or they're overweight or they have some other form of
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
debilitating issue that keeps them from being max energy every day and in order to be the most successful the most purpose-driven meaningful happy version of yourself you want to be at max energy every day and the only way to do that is to focus on your health it is not health is not a luxury and you may be saying well Ryan you don't understand I just started a startup and I don't have time time block in
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
physical fitness into your day. Time block in eating a healthy lunch if that's what you need to do. If it's that hard for you, literally create a 15-minute calendar invite only to yourself that says eat a salad or whatever that healthy thing is that you need to eat, right? Or time block in intermittent fasting if that's something that you like to do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Time block in the health and wellness things that are important to you being max energy. Because that startup that you're using as an excuse for not going to the gym, you're going to fade. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to procrastinate. You're going to get lazy because you're not going to be at max energy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Being at max energy, which means focusing on your health, is a core part of a startup. This is something no one talks about in the entrepreneurial space. Your health is part of the startup because if you're not at max energy, if you have brain fog as the founder, how are you going to make the decisions?
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
How are you going to do the work that's necessary to get that startup past startup mode into escape velocity? It's not going to happen. And I'd like to put a particular point on building strength. And this goes for men and women, not a fitness guru, although I've had many on the show in the past. So you can go back and look at those episodes, strength training one to three times a week, you know,
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I don't mean just going out for a run. I mean lifting something, pushing something, moving iron. Strength training is core because of the chemicals that strength training releases into your body. And the earlier in the day you can get your strength training done, the better.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Okay guys, because we're talking about health and wellness right now, it seems like the perfect time to talk about our newest sponsor and partner of the show, and that is Mando. Mando is the number one odor control product in the market today, right? Feet, packages, pits, it's wonderful. They have deodorant, they have body spray, they have a body wash, and my favorite product is the Daily Wipes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
I take these with me everywhere I go. I Pop one of these in my gym bag. I have one in the center console in my car because I like to get a workout in whenever I can. Every day is a little different. So sometimes, you know, I'm blocking out time in the middle of the day. Sometimes it's in the afternoon. And I always have things to do, right? Maybe another meeting.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
If you see a lesson, hear a lesson that makes sense or doesn't make sense, something that you disagree with or you just like us to expand on, leave it in the comments below. I'd like to know which lesson hits you the hardest, which one maybe you struggle to implement in your life. Leave those comments in the YouTube comment section. respond to every one of them. I read every one of them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
Maybe I got to go back to the office or, you know, maybe I'm just heading over to my girlfriend's house. And rarely do we have an opportunity to get that midday showering. And no one wants to go into the next thing stinky or sweaty or sticky. Mando Wipes cleans that up for you. No more odor. Guys, this is...
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
truly a remarkable product because i've used other kind of body wipes and i feel like you know you get rid of the sweaty feeling and replace it with like a sticky alcohol feeling and that is not the case with these you know you wipe yourself down you kind of get rid of that odor and immediately you Feel normal again. It's wonderful.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
And as a listener of this show, we have a special discount for you on the starter pack. You get the stick deodorant, the cream deodorant, and two free additional products. I highly recommend you pick up these wipes as the additional product. This is my favorite thing that Mando has. Like I said, I take them with me everywhere we go.
The Ryan Hanley Show
19 Brutal Lessons For Leaders in Their 20s
If you use the discount code Ryan at checkout, that's shopmando.com. Discount code Ryan at checkout, right? S-H-O-P-M-A-N-D-O.com. Shop Mando. Use the code Ryan at checkout. You get the starter pack, $5 off. That's 40% off. You get two types of deodorant as well as two free products of your choosing. And I highly recommend the Mando wipes. They will keep you smelling fresh and fresh.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous conversation for you today with Sarah Connell. She is the founder of Sarah Connell Coaching where she helps individuals with expertise, with ideas, with experience, turn that into a best-selling book and ultimately a thought leadership platform as well as so much else. This is a wine-raging and dynamic conversation. However,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
If you're listening on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts and you're not subscribed, make sure you do. Leave a rating and review with your thoughts. I read every single one. I appreciate the hell out of you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Yeah. There are people that I follow that I know are completely full of shit that I just think they're so ridiculous and the shit they do that I just find it. It's just entertainment.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Yeah, it's exactly. and I keep coming back to this, but it's something that I think about a lot in my own work and with, you know, whatever is, you know, the internet was so new that so many of these tactics, so many of these things that people did, these templated style videos where we're running the seat, you know,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
hook, turn, build, turn, hook, you know, paint, you know, whatever, like, and not that that stuff can't, not that those formats are wrong. But what I found is, like, if I find someone new, and they're just using one of these kind of boilerplate templates that's been passed around forever in the, you know, the D to C space or the ad space or whatever, like,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
I can pick up on that template now like this. And it's not because I've like some template expert. It's because I've just watched enough content. We're 25 years into digital creation that like, I think our audiences have just become more mature and they're more, they're able to figure out the bullshit more. They just, their bullshit meter is stronger and it's got more filters on it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
And if you haven't yet, if you're not in master of the clothes and sales is an important part of what you do every day, I released a brand new sales course master of the clothes where I teach the process that allowed me to grow multiple organizations across the technology, fitness and insurance industries to scale massively and using inbound leads.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
So I think, you know, things like What you described going back to that Casey Neistat, like 2015, 2016 vlog style video. It's a pattern interrupt because all of a sudden, instead of, you know, the same hook template to this thing that that every influence watch, they're getting they're like, wait a minute.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
She didn't start with the standard like urgency hook or the way she just kind of like started talking to me like that's really interesting. And I find it's just pattern interrupts. It's like, what is everyone else doing? Figure out a way to do you inside a format that might be slightly different. But and here's kind of where my question goes to you in this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Okay, so if you're nodding along, I'm obviously saying the word, so I believe it. If that's true, why is it so hard for people to pattern interrupt or do different things? Everyone just wants the super secret template that's not secret. Why do we then cave to conformity? Why is that the case?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Yeah, no, I'm with you. I think that most people who say they aren't creative, it's that's what we know that that's not true. It's just it's just prioritization. Right. So like, it's way easier if you want to feel good about yourself at the end of the day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
to tick off 15 tasks on your to-do list than it is to have this block of four hours in the morning or however much time you you give it right that's free form writing you know researching putting together a script or however you create it you get to the end now what's interesting is if if you get something out of that right let's say you get something out of that
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
There is a different sales process for inbound leads, and if inbound leads are part of your process, Master of the Clothes is a no-brainer. Go to masteroftheclothes.com today. With that, let's get on to Sarah Connell.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
the feeling of fulfillment is a thousand times X more than the to-do list. But the difference is, and again, this is something that I talk about a lot in my work with leaders is uncertainty, right? Uncertainty is such a paralyzing concept to us. So we'd say, okay, I could spend eight hours doing tasks today.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
And I know at the end of those eight hours, I'm going to have this positive feeling of getting stuff done. Okay, I know that. Or I could spend four hours of open creative time to try to create a script for a new video I want to do. And I'm not sure if I'm going to love what comes out the back end.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
And even, you know, like we just said, even though the reward is, you know, 10 X, a thousand X more, whatever it is, we just simply will not prioritize that. And because of the uncertainty part of it. And so how do you start to coach your clients around this idea of leaning into this creative space?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
I don't want to interrupt you on this point, but I want to share something with you and the audience. So I have, I'm hyperactive bipolar. So I'm constantly living either manic or hyper manic, right? So while I find myself to be highly creative because of that, It's also like it's sometimes it's like getting a download from this huge cable and sometimes it's like this time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
OK, so I've been researching a lot about exactly what you're talking about. Brainwaves, how sounds impact. I found this app called Endel, E-N-D-L. It's like two bucks a month and it has. All these different modes and then the ability for you to actually make your own versions of this. Yes. And I'm telling you, I don't listen. I listen to music half as much as I used to. Yes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
I have chopped my podcast listening in half because instead of walking around the house listening to a podcast now, I just have these beats in the back. And I'm like...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
doing shit i hate to do like the dishes and folding laundry and like i got down and walk i'm a i'm single guy i got two kids but like i'm on my hands and knees washing the floor how many single dudes out there are on their hands washing the floor right like just doesn't happen and i'm like wait a minute i'm like super productive right now let's go i'll wash them you know like
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
So it's like, it's crazy. It's the beat, right? So then I dug into the science of it and it's everything you just said, the way the progressions work, the way they do it, right? So if I'm in focus mode, it's perfect. If I'm in relax mode, sleep mode, reading mode, whatever. So that's a really cool app I found. It's super inexpensive. I'm not sponsored or anything, but I use it every single day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Endel, E-N-D-L.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
yeah it's why for most of my life was never a believer in manifesting and i read parts of the secret and frankly i just didn't like the delivery and it just was too wooey for me and i just i just never grabbed it and then i listened to andy forsella the mfceo project and he one day randomly did like went off on this tangent about how manifesting has been an enormous part of his life now
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Here's this like big burly swearing, you know, whatever guy, you know, you just wouldn't picture manifesting being in his toolkit. So then I was like, well, shit, if it works for this dude, right, then maybe I should look into it. I did. And then I started looking into what you're actually doing. So I it's I think manifesting does what's actually happening a disservice.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Tara, it's such a pleasure to have you on the show today. Thanks for taking the time. I'm so happy to be here, Ryan. So one of the things that we were talking about before we went live was, you know, we're still early in the year, you know, recording this in early February. And at least I think it's February. And, you know, we talked a little bit about like, what's going to happen in 2025.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
So for those that don't understand the core concept here is you're priming your brain to look for certain things. That's what's happening. So like, it's like when you buy a new car and then all of a sudden you see that car everywhere, or you get a green car and every car is green. You're like, I thought I was getting used to new color. They're everywhere. Right. So, so,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
But essentially, all you're doing is telling your brain like what you're doing with I'm a creative genius. Is it saying your brain look for creative things? Yes, I'm a creative person. Look for creative things. Don't look for mundane things. Don't look for things that have already been said. Look for creative things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
So so manifesting is really hacking your brain to basically put like a special target on the radar for that type of thing. And when you start to think about like and again, you've talked about neuroscience and these different things. I think it's so incredibly important we get to that level.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
when you so many people got stopped at secret like me because they didn't love the way that that book was delivered but that the idea the what's actually happening to your brain is is science it's it's neurology and if you can understand that piece now waking up every morning and saying, you know, I'm a, you know, I'm going to be a great father.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
I'm going to be a great leader and I'm going to be creative today. Bam. And then you just write that over and over again. Or, you know, I, I will be a bestselling author. I will be a bestselling author. Cause then your brain starts going, what do bestselling authors do? They connect with people like Sarah. They, they, you know, work on these projects every day. They block time to do these things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Yeah. And also you think you're just like you think you're just, you know, really motivating getting things done. But you just you basically hacked your brain to do those things. That's all it is.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Have you read or heard about Abigail Schreier's book, Bad Therapy?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
I have read the short form of the book and I've watched her do a couple podcasts because I just didn't, you know, of all the time I had, but I wanted the concepts, right? Yeah. So to be To be, you know, Abigail, I'm referencing your book. I'll go buy a copy just to get you paid because I should. She's amazing. But I haven't read the full book yet, to be honest.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
But I've gone through all the concepts and listened to her a ton. And the idea here is, you know, she basically calls out and I'm going to forget the year. It was somewhere in, I think, the 80s where the way therapy was delivered became like talking out your problems all the time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
And, you know, that's kind of where I'd love to start. I'd love to start with like, when you're looking out over what we have in front of us, kind of where we are as a country as society business wise marketplace and you're dealing with tons of clients tons of successful people like what are you hearing what are you seeing like where's your brain at for forecasting 2025
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
And essentially what you know, if I'm pulling out her core concept at its highest level, it's what we're talking about going to therapy and talking about, you know, my wife doesn't love me. She doesn't respect me. I don't get respect at work. I can't get ahead. I'm always all you're doing to your point is is setting that in your brain doesn't know the difference. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
If you couple that idea with if you're the untethered soul by Michael. Yes. Yes. One of my favorite books. Most of I probably talk about the book too much on this show. It like define this idea that I could not get my head around, but always believed for a long time where like once you realize that your mind, the thing that's talking to that voice you hear in your brain is not you. It's your mind.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
So if you think about it that way. Right. So you're your soul. You have a body and a mind. And if you think of the mind is not you, what you're then able to do is program that thing like a computer to do exactly what you want. So if you program it with I'm broke all the time, I can't get ahead. I can't get a good job. You know, men or women, whatever, don't like me, don't aren't attracted to me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
You know what? I can't get fit. I'm not strong. Then that is you're just the mind doesn't know the difference. Your mind does not know the difference. All it's hearing is these things. If on the opposite side, you said, you know, I'm funny, I'm happy, I'm filled with love. I connect. I grow. Your mind's going, oh, well, I guess that's who I am. And that's the way that I should act.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
And it's like, I just love these ideas. And I obviously I nerd out like you do. I'm just when we can detach ourselves from like, this is who I am. Right. And start saying, this is who I want to become and who I want to be. You can program your brain and your mind to do those things just like you would a computer.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
I love it. So, okay. So I want to take our remaining time together and transition just a little bit. So I've been listening to this. I'm an expert in a field. I may not feel I'm creative, but I'm, I'm believing our argument that I can be creative. Like why a book aren't books like super old school and no one reads anymore. Like why would we, why?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Why would I take this expertise and use a book as the way to capture it and build a business around it? Yeah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
You know, I love your TED talk on that, by the way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Yeah, I used to talk about this topic. In another life, I used to talk a lot about content marketing back in like 2010 to 2015. It's whatever, different story for a different day. However, an idea that I used to share a lot back then and I talked about in my first book, which please do not go look at the cover. It's the worst book cover ever. That's a whole story for a different show.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
However, was time and attention. Right. And what I meant by that was like you if you if you produce something, say a long form video. Right. So this will probably end up being 45 minutes ish, whatever the whatever the length. OK, we could have also done this in five minutes, like a clip from ABC or CNBC or whatever. Right. And you could have a thousand people watch that five minute video.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Or you could have 100 people watch your 45-minute video, right? My argument was always I'd rather have the 100 people watch the 45-minute video. Because what's happening is every moment, right, that their eyes and attention are on your content, they're building a connection to you and a deeper connection. So it's like you either need, you know, nine five-minute videos. Mm-hmm. right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Or one 45 minute video, right? And then, and get to explain your expertise and to the book, you know, there's all, you know, blog posts used to be all the rage, obviously 15, 20 years ago, right? And while blog posts can still be interesting, right? How many, In 2010, the guidance was 750 word blog posts.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
There are some key ideas that we get into, especially Sarah projects out our kind of forecast, as she calls it, 2025 and some of the trends that she sees coming. Specifically, we address five. There's one in particular that I want to tease out at you right now. And that is the idea that we are moving from Simon Sinek's It's All About Your Why to to it's all about your who.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
If someone sent you a link to a 750 word blog post today and you looked at it, would you even scan it? You'd be like, there's no way they can deliver anything of value to me in 750 words. Right now, blog posts are like 4,000, 5,000 word, they're like chapters of entire books in a blog post. And it's almost like we have micro content and super long form content and everything in between is dying.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Does that feel like a good, it's true.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Yeah. You just, I look at just the comments that I get Very the I get less comments and the comments I do get are often just like, good job or this is cool or I'm feeling this today. Right. On the short form. But on the long form, I will get like epilogue emails from people like, oh, my God, here's my experience. Similar to what you talk about. I couldn't get out of this. And here's what I did.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
And you're like. Oh my God, I made a frigging impact. Look what's happening here, right? Like, but that doesn't happen on the short form stuff. And I think we have to be very careful with how we split our time and attention and really short form should be systematized unless you're like a TikTok creator is your job. But I couldn't be more with you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
I mean, to me, books, podcast series, long form podcast series, you know, really well done content. You know, courses are tough. They can work and can be important. But I think we have to be very careful with those. But all this time on middle form content, five minute videos, blog posts like, you know, short newsletters that aren't really super valuable.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Like it's just all that stuff is dying and you aren't subscribing. And it's a really interesting time. Well, Sarah, I want to be respectful of your time. This has been a tremendous conversation. You're welcome back anytime. Consider us a friend. Anything you have going on, you know, please come back again because there's like a million more topics we could talk about.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
But if someone's listening to this and wants to get deeper into your world, how do they do that?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Guys, and whether you're watching the show on YouTube or listening wherever you listen to podcasts, just scroll down into the description or show notes, etc. And I'll have links to all of Sarah's stuff, how you get deeper into her world. Thank you so much for taking this time. What a tremendous conversation. It's been a blast.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Well, one, I love the idea of what if we just acted like everything was an opportunity? There's so many things in our life that like cliches or, you know, whatever that we hear. And I think we let them pass by us as. And I love this idea of what if we actually just embrace that cliche, that kind of tried and true mantra, because it's been around for a while for a reason.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Yet, because of that, we seem to like dismiss these ideas. And it's like, why do we always want the new idea when there are like these, you know, 50, 100, 2000 year old ideas that seemingly have lasted forever. And we're kind of like, those ones aren't for me. I need this new shiny idea right here. That's really interesting.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
I'd love for you to dig into this trust recession because I find that very interesting. I can see it. I haven't experienced it in my own business necessarily in that way, but I can see it. And I think if you're watching social media, etc., as well as everything that we just came through with the election and mainstream media is being torn apart, all this kind of different stuff.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
So maybe break down where you think that's coming from, where you're seeing that. And then I'd like to make this transition into how would you guide someone through flipping trust? If I did, if I was experiencing a trust recession, how do I flip that into an ascension?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Who is greater than why? This is a big idea. It's a core concept to what she is helping her clients achieve in 2025. And I'll be honest with you, I have to agree with her. I have to agree with her reasons why this is such a big trend, and that this is actually what is working in the market today.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Whether you're a small business, you know, you're a coffee shop and a community, and you're trying to grow and expand your influence and where customers come from in to buy your coffee, or you're leading a large multinational organization, or you're an entrepreneur, or you are an author, right? These ideas are paramount. You're going to love these five forecasts that she has for 2025.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
I want to go back to who over why? Because I think that's a really interesting take. And I think that, you know, in some kind of marketing and brand building channels, that would be blaspheming at like the highest degree. My question for you is what I've seen, you know, any influential voice thought leadership.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
I don't necessarily want to say just like influencer type people, but it's almost as if where we used to wear a pair of Nikes as a way to like express our personal value through this physical object. Now you kind of express your personal position or like or your tribe by who you follow, who you quote, you know, et cetera. It's like, is that the trend we're kind of grabbing onto? Yeah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
And especially, I'm interested in your... thoughts like around this idea of who is greater than why. This concept really caught me, grabbed me. I'm going to put a lot more thought into it, and I think you are going to love it. Before we get to Sarah, if you're watching on YouTube, like this video, subscribe, guys. Leave a comment. I want to hear from you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
yeah that's a really good point I think you know what's funny is you see you see people almost trying to like jump that trend who have played the my perfect life or like I rent the Maserati game and then all of a sudden they'll have one where like their hair is messy but then you're like wait a minute but you still put like six filters on it so I don't really like what are we doing here like okay I just woke up and their hair is messy and I'm gonna go do some push-ups but but like you perfectly framed it and it's in one third and the light and I'm like
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
come on, like, right. It's just like, and I also think what's interesting about this particular trend, and I'm just kind of dialing in on this, because I think a lot of people, it's very easy for people who have not created a lot of content are new to the game or are trying to, they're starting to realize, hey, I can't run my local coffee shop on just word of mouth alone anymore, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
I need to bring in more traffic, etc. They it is who you grab onto early and who you start to follow and try to do like that early mimicry, like who you mimic early, it really sets the tone for what you're going to be going forward. And, and my point in saying all of this is that I think those we'll call them rental influencers.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
Those like, I'm going to, you know, whatever, like they've become easier and easier to spot. I feel like that's part of what's happening is that,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Branding Expert Reveals the Secret to Business Success in 2025 - Sara Connell
you can't there's there's all these cracks in their narrative that that we couldn't really see before or we weren't trained to see before right just we've been in market long enough that now the consumer goes wait a minute he's 21 he doesn't have a right iron like come on let's sell it to him what are we talking about right and we weren't looking behind the curtain before we were enjoying the show and there's nothing wrong with any of it right it's like
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous episode for you today, a conversation with Robert Cujo Teschner. He is a combat veteran, former F-15 Eagle instructor at the prestigious U.S. Air Force Weapons School, as well as Air Force Top Gun Program instructor. He's a former F-22 Raptor Fighter Squadron commander, having commanded one of America's most prestigious...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
But she was like really adamant that that was having a negative impact on her. the brand on my brand and the brand of the business was like these videos of me lifting weights. And, um, but here's the opposite to it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
And this is where I want to get back to your, uh, to your, uh, psychological safety piece for a second was the other side was I must've gotten hundreds of messages, mostly from guys, but, but from a few women too, that were like, dude, like, I've been struggling to get to the gym and you're pissing me off that you're going. And now I'm going to, you know what I mean?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Like, and you know, and all that kind of stuff. So I'm like, you know, I think we have to, the other side of this is, yeah, you're, you're going to get some feedback that you might not like, but you're also, if you're being authentic and really trying to help and, and, you know, get better, there's so many people that are also going to see you for what you're actually trying to do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
And that's why I hate this, like,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Well, hey, going back to our buddy Chris, that dude gets up and runs every day at 3 a.m., and every day I get a text message from him, your ass better be out of bed. Now, I don't get up at 3 because I think that's crazy, but I'm up at 5.30, 6 o'clock, and I don't work out. I work out later anyways. But that's motivation, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Here's a guy that I respect that's successful, that has his head on his shoulders, and he's up doing the work every day. I can't do that. You know what I mean? I can do that. If he can do it, I can do it. And that's how we push each other.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
But to your point, and this is where I want to circle all the way back around to psychological safety, like, I do think that I have to feel like I can ask him questions about why he does it, how he does it, and know that he's not going to turn around and be like, you know, just do the work, motherfucker. You know what I mean?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Like, he'll say to me, like, dude, on the days that I'm fasting, I might just walk a couple miles on – So understanding that not only do I respect him and do I want to emulate parts of who he is because I value his journey, but that I can ask him questions and know that I'm going to get real feedback even when I'm missing. So if I am off track for a week, he's not going to judge me for that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
He might give me a little shit because he should, but at the same time, he's going to give me real feedback on how I might be able to realign myself. So I would love to know, because to me, where psychological safety goes wrong, and correct me on this, so much of it starts with ego. And a big part of my work on this show is highlighting where ego is. I believe just destroys our life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
I'm Christian, but also a huge fan of stoicism and enlightenment and all of these really progressive mindsets, progressive in the positive sense, not in the leftist sense, are rooted in removing the ego from our lives. How do we do that organizationally? especially in your situation where you are surrounded by the alpha of alphas, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
I mean, the egos in that room were probably enormous, but you guys were able to work together and create massive outcome. How do you, how the hell do you do that?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Awesome. So where I want to start is in most of these, I turn into basically personal consulting, just so you know, like I basically do the podcast. So I get free personal consulting. So many people reach out to me today. My life as well. It's freaking hectic, right? Like there's so much coming at us. And we talked a little about it before.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Is there a time, though, when you can just get up in someone's ass, though? Like I just like, you know what I mean? Like I found.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Yeah. What I hear you saying is it has to be a tool in your tool belt used appropriately, like any tool, not. your cultural norm.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
You said you got so much going on, you know, in your brain. So do I. Much of your philosophy is, my understanding is taking time post-action to reflect, as the title of your book, Debrief to Win, taking time to think about what happened. And I know for a fact that the vast majority of leaders, of executives, of sales individuals, we just don't do that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Yeah, this is funny, but so I coach. My kids play sports. I coach them, and the kids are funny. Some of these kids I've been with for a while. So one of the kids, great kid, parents are good people, but the dad's a bit of a yeller, and he's not a coach, so he's constantly yelling from the stands. And I coach third base for baseball, and he gets to third, and he'd kind of made a bonehead play and –
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
He was safe at third, but it was very ugly how he got there. Let's just put it that way. And the dad's, and I just kind of leaned over and I'm like, how do you deal with that? You know, and 10 year old looks at me and goes, oh, I don't even hear him anymore. He thinks he's laying the smack down on his kid. He didn't even realize he was yelling at him.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
He's like, I don't even hear him.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Yeah, so I was a high school and college basketball referee for 12 years. I loved it. Unfortunately, once kids came along, driving three hours to make $150 just wasn't – the math didn't work out as well. Give basketball referees all the crap you want. Understand they are underpaid for what they do. Just to everyone listening, yell at them. If you purchase a ticket, do what you got to do. But –
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
just to understand they ain't making a lot of money. These guys, they're doing it cause they love it. That being said in that 12 year period from, I started in 2002, uh, and went to 2014. Um, I watched and was part of, you know, kind of firsthand a major shift in how parents interacted with their children on the sport.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
You know, when I started, it was kind of – you know, I finished my college baseball career – I guess it was a little later. I finished my college baseball career in 2003, so that's when I started. So – From that point, when I first got in, it was very much the way that I was brought up. I mean, I got coaches smoking cigars on third base, yelling at you if you strike out, handling this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
I mean, I've had coaches throw me into fences. And what's funny is, and actually we talked about this in the last show with Steve D'Agostino, but it was like, I had these moments that today I'd have coaches in jail for, you know, they'd be in jail, but they, those moments would happen. And I'd be like, you know what? I kind of deserve that. You know what I mean?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
I was talking back or, you know, like I pimped a home run one time. Shouldn't have done it. Shouldn't have. I'm not, this is not, I'm not advocating for this activity, but it was our rival. And yeah, A lot of stuff was going on in the game, and I just absolutely jacked this home run off their closer. And I acted like an asshole. I pimped the home run. So I come around.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
We take action, and then regardless of outcome, we just move on to the next action. So my first question is actually kind of hyper-tactical. How do we build that time in? How do we actually stop ourselves or slow ourselves down enough to reflect, to kind of debrief on action?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
The moment my foot hits home base, my coach has both his hands. I don't even know where he came from. He was like a ninja. He had both his hands on my jersey. He literally drags me like on a cartoon. Like my feet were dragging. He's dragging me off the – throws me into the dugout, right? Turns around and he goes, he just looks at me. He's got a cigar hanging out of his mouth.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
You will never fucking do that again. End of story, right? Today, he's in jail. Me, I'm like, you know what I'm not gonna do again? I'm not gonna pimp another home run. Not gonna do that. Message received, right? Got it. Don't ever have to say, message received. I got you, coach. And lesson learned, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
But in this time period, to get back to my point here, in that time period, that 12-year time period, When I first started, it was very much the same. And for those listening, I'm not advocating for physical violence against kids. Please, please take this for what it is. It was a different time period, but very much that like you're held accountable to your actions.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
And by the time I retired 12 years later, it was the polar opposite. What do you think has happened culturally? I will say it's getting slightly better, but it is still very prevalent in sports today. I've found just in coaching, it's a little better. There seems to be a little more rationale or reasonableness, but it's still very prevalent.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
What has happened culturally from your viewpoint that we're dealing with this now? Because a lot of these kids that were in youth sports back in 2003, they're in the market now. Leaders are hiring them for jobs, asking them to do things. They underperform. They get in trouble.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
And now I read some stat the other day that something like 30% of all job interviews, people are bringing their parents on now. Like their parents, they're bringing their parents on job interview phone calls. It's crazy. I heard it on the All In podcast. I got to find this now.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Remember when the David Winfield shuffle was considered like risque, the fact that he would just slide to the right twice. So I have a theory that I want to hit you on with this and you let me know if you think there's any validity to it. So yeah, I've thought about this topic a lot because I think leadership is incredibly important at all ages in every aspect of our life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Leadership of our family, community organizations, our church if that's what we do, sports teams, community groups, our companies, whatever. And to me, in the research I've done and just, I've come up with kind of this idea that I think a lot of this started to happen when we no longer could trust, when we no longer felt the loyalty from the companies that we worked for that,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
we felt for them, right? When my dad was when my dad was coming up through the railroad, my dad's worked for the railroad for 30 years, right? You put in your time, you put in your time, you pay your union dues. And at the end of the day, the railroad takes care of you, you're good, right? They rally behind you, you got health insurance, you got a retirement, it's all good.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
And then somewhere in between 20 2010, the railroad changes rules. And then all of a sudden it became a tiered retirement structure. And then it became, well, if you didn't put in this many years, you didn't get anything. And then it became, well, now we're not offering health insurance anymore. And then it became, you know, DEI kind of got involved. And guys, you know, that got things squirrely.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
And, you know, and it... It's like all of a sudden, this thing that for so long, say from the 50s to the maybe late 90s, you pick a company and you commit to them, they commit to you, and you're going to be okay on the back end. All of a sudden, that doesn't exist today, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
To me, my theory on this, and I haven't done any PhD work on it, so I don't have any hard facts, but is that when that break started to happen, it infiltrated all these other aspects of our life. And we no longer felt that we could trust, if we gave our loyalty to the larger organization, that we could trust the larger organization to be loyal to us.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
And when that started to break down, then in all aspects of our lives, we started thinking, well, geez, if the company doesn't have my best interest in mind, well, then I got to look out for me. I'll jump seven companies in seven years if I can make an extra $20,000 and have a better job title and a little more health insurance, right? And I don't know...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
I struggle to think that people are wrong in that, right? I struggle to think that the individual who can't trust the parent company, I don't see it as a bad thing that they look out for themselves because I don't know that they can trust a lot of these large organizations. I don't know. Where do you stand on all that?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
And we always do our best when we're surrounded by people that are pointing in the same direction with us.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
And those, it's funny, you know, I have people from previous companies, careers that you stay connected to. And when you look at the people who you do stay connected to, it's, you know, I hate to use a military analogy in a situation that doesn't make sense, but that we're in the foxhole with you, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
That like, you know, maybe you're part of a company that's a thousand people, but your little business unit of five, you took on this challenge or this client and you got it done and it was late nights and tough conversations and, And then, you know, you everyone, you know, project gets done, you go your separate ways, but you can come back together on that moment.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
And there's like a bond there that you can't break. But you've also, you know, you've all of us, I'm sure most of us listening have been in situations where you're given that same task, except everyone's got their own agenda. There's no connection, no bond. Oftentimes the outcome is less than you want it to be. And you can't wait to get away from those people.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
And skill level, while I think can add to the value, is meaningless to the connection and ultimately to your ability to execute the outcome.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
operational F-22 fighter squadrons. Cujo is now a leadership coach, a peak performance, personal development coach, entrepreneur, speaker. And his book, Debrief to Win, is a must-read for leaders. It is a must-read. It's called Debrief to Win. I'll have a link in the show notes. If you haven't read Debrief to Win, stop what you're reading right now. Pick up this book.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Kujo, I think that's a perfect place to put a pin in our conversation. I appreciate you. I appreciate your time. This has been phenomenal. Better than Paradiso even told me it would be. And no, I thank you so much. Where can people besides I'll have links to the book in the show notes. I'll have links to anything else that you mentioned. Where can people get deeper into your world?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
I completely agree. So my entrepreneurial career in its most recent iteration was I started my own independent insurance agency. And similar to Chris, we know each other from the insurance industry. It was funny, you know, I had never run a sales team before.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
I'd always been more, either more of like a executive CEO role or a marketing role, but here I start my own business, now I'm at least at the beginning, head of all the departments, and you're running these sales meetings. And what I found was, you know, it was very difficult It was very difficult to get my team to do postmortems on sales, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
It was almost like they didn't want to think about it. If they didn't get it, if they won, they'd love to tell you that little trick or that little thing they did to win. But on the losses, it was like they just wanted to throw it from their mind or they became kind of maybe shameful or they were worried it was going to bring in self-doubt and
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
How do we work through being comfortable not just discussing the wins and debriefing on the wins? I guess that's the fun part. But how do we become culturally comfortable discussing our losses?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
If you are in a leadership position or aspire to be in one someday, this is a book you do not want to miss. This episode is going to blow your mind. your mind. It is absolutely incredible. If you're in a leadership position or ever want to be a leader, lock in, friends, because we got one for you today. With all that said, and no further ado, let's get on to my good friend, Cujo.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Yeah, it's funny. I completely agree with you, and most of my career has been failures with some nice victories sprinkled in intermittently. You know what I mean? And it's funny. When you talk to people who've – I'm going to call – successful entrepreneurs that have kind of, maybe it's escape velocity, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
There's all different levels of success, but I don't want it to just be like someone who's got some big, huge exit. All different levels of success will cap success at escape velocity. You're not, you're not wondering if you're going to be able to pay your bills this month. You've kind of hit a point where you, okay.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
So anybody who's hit that level, right, when you really dig down and whether that's, you know, whatever it is you're unwinding, maybe it's a nice glass of scotch or a cigar, whatever you're unwinding, golf course, whatever your thing is, They never – people never – those type – people who've won, they don't tell you about their wins, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
When you're on the golf course and you're breaking down and you're yucking it up, you're not like, oh, you know, we made this big sale the other day. You're like, you know what? I had this thing on a tee. I was going to knock it out of the park and then I barfed all – you know, and then it didn't – you know, this didn't happen.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
Or, man, this was the easiest decision I could have ever made and I just –
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
you know just didn't do it it's always the losses that that those type of people talk about yet when you get into say the social media world or the people who haven't hit escape velocity all they want to talk about is the wins do you think that that's just part of the growth process or do you think the fact that those individuals haven't hit escape velocity is because they focus just on the wins and they don't want to address the losses
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
One anecdote to your social media story. In 2020, when I was growing my agency, we're coming out of COVID. I launched my agency seven days before COVID hit. So that was an interesting entrepreneurial experience. Timing's everything, isn't it? Yeah. So gyms open up August of 2020. I'm, you know, miserable because nothing's happening. The world's shut down.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
I've invested all this money, blah, blah, blah. So I'm like, screw it. I'll start going to the gym because no one's picking up the phone and answering my calls anyway. So I set up, I had never deadlifted before. I'd always been an athlete, but I'd never deadlift. I said, I'm going to try this new exercise and I'm going to set a goal for myself. Okay, great.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
So I do that and I said, okay, to hold myself accountable, every day that I deadlift, I'm going to just record my last set and post it on social media. And at first I look like anybody who's never done an exercise before. I mean, I'm athletic enough, but certainly not, you know, whatever. And I got these people. People say crazy shit to you when you post stuff on social media. And it's all good.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
I don't care. And then about a year and a half in to my journey, I worked with a branding expert to help upgrade our brand and whatever. And she's like, you know, why are you posting this stuff? She's like, look, you look like this. And I'm like, because I want... people to know that like, you don't start at 450 pounds at 41 years old deadlifting.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
I have been so incredibly excited to chat with you because a mutual friend of ours, Chris Paradiso, met you, spent time with you, and since that moment hasn't stopped talking about you. And mostly positive. No, I'm kidding. And I just read your book, Debrief to Win, and I just want to dig in. So I appreciate your time that you're spending with us here today.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
You know, I, my first day, I, the max I could do was 185 pounds. I don't know. You know what I mean? I haven't been a college athlete for 20 years. So it's like, you know, it wasn't, it wasn't about, I'm not trying to be a fitness professional. It was about showing like, Hey, as an entrepreneur, I believe physical fitness and wellness is very, very, uh, important.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
I bring a lot of health and people on the show for that reason. And all I'm trying to show them is, hey, it's COVID and it sucks and I got a mask on, but we can work through it. That's it. And I'm telling you, she blistered me and she wasn't doing it to be a jerk. You know, she was being accurate. She's like, people are going to see this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Debrief to Win: How Failure Builds Unstoppable Leaders
As you failing, like they're not going to take this as like you said, like putting your, you know, presenting this thing that like you're all this stuff and you're this powerful guy. And I'm like, well, I'm not that I can only do 225 today. You know what I mean? What am I supposed to do? And it was wild. She was like she was. So I didn't take it down and whatever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
Friends, listen up. If I really wanted to manipulate you into buying my stuff, I'd probably say something like this. Yo, hey, legend, just three spots left in my elite seven-figure client incubator where I personally show you how to get rich AF using a method I learned in a cave in Bali after a 36-hour fast. But act fast, because the price doubles in just 14 minutes, unless you click now.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
So why is it that smart, passionate business owners, especially creatives, keep falling for these surface-level hacks? Well, there's two big reasons. One is desperation. When sales dry up and the bills are due, you'll try anything. Scarcity messes with your nervous system. Your brain screams, fix it fast. And that's when the gimmicks start to feel like strategy. Two...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
and unwillingness to get rich slow. Building real trust, publishing consistently, telling the truth, refining your offer, this stuff takes time. And in a world built on dopamine hits and fake overnight success stories, long-term thinking feels painfully slow. So we look for shortcuts. But here's the trap. Shortcuts almost always lead you into a circle.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
and you end up right back where you started, burned out, frustrated, and wondering why people don't trust you. Now, speaking of fearless entrepreneurs, a lot of you know this about me, but I'm a massive reader. Read every morning. I genuinely believe that the right books can unlock the secrets to mastering the universe. but not in a woo-woo way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
These are the mental models of the top 1% actually used kind of way. And that's why I put something together that I honestly wish that I had 10 years ago. It's a curated reading list, better than an MBA, and way cheaper because it's free. It's called The 100 Must-Read Books for Fearless Entrepreneurs and Leaders. These aren't fluffy titles.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
These are the mindset, leadership, money, performance books that have actually leveled me up in my career. Everyone's always asking me, hey, what's the next book I should read? I put this resource together and I made it free because I wanted to not have to keep answering that question and I didn't want to have to keep trying to give people super strategic, targeted answers.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
So regardless, if you're listening on the podcast or watching on YouTube, right below in the description, there's a link, books.ryanhanley.com. Click it, enter email, boom. You will get this self-guided curriculum to reshape how you operate. Now let's get back to this baller episode. All right, look, if any of that hit a little too close to home, good.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
That means you're self-aware and your self-awareness is the first step to building something real. Because when you strip away the gimmicks and you get clear on what actually connects with another human, that's when business stops feeling like a grind and it starts feeling like momentum. So let's cut through the noise here. Let's cut through the BS. Let's find the signal.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
Let's talk about what actually works. Here is what actually moves people. Number one, story selling. Make them feel the future. Al Samosi once said, the best marketing doesn't feel like marketing, it feels like understanding. That's exactly what stories do. They bypass skepticism, they create emotional resonance, and they let your past clients, your past experiences, sell your future clients.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
People don't wanna be pitched, they wanna feel seen, they wanna feel heard. When you tell a story that mirrors their struggle and show how someone, whether it's you or a client, just like them got an outcome they want, their brain says, that's me. Josh Braun, sales strategist, nailed it. People don't buy when they understand you. They buy when they feel you understand them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
And just quick example, instead of saying something like my framework helps coaches scale, say Emily was stuck at 3000 a month, burning out from 14 hour days when we helped her package her offer in a way that felt more aligned with her value structure. The first month, 11K. No launches, no fake urgency, just real value. Doesn't that just make you want to buy some shit from me? Maybe not.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
Number two, and this is my personal favorite. It's the assumptive close. Sell the after, not the ask. This isn't being pushy. It's powerful. The assumptive close moves the conversation past the decision and into the results. Homozy calls it playing the tape forward. In psychology, this is called future pacing. You help them imagine the outcome, not just the offer.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
In truth, you don't even really want to talk about the offer. You just want to talk about what their life is going to be like after they purchase from you. People don't buy products, they buy certainty. Marcus Sheridan says, buyers wanna feel like they're already made the right decision before they ever buy. That's what future pacing gives them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
And a quick example here, don't say, are you ready to move forward? Instead use, once our tool is bringing in leads, do you want to handle them or have us automate them for you? You've skipped the anxiety of the decision and taken them into action. Number three, and this is another personal favorite, the empathetic authority close. Let them sell themselves.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
This is the most powerful close in my opinion. It's also the hardest to pull off because it doesn't feel like closing at all. Josh Braun calls it being a buyer's coach. You don't convince, you guide. You ask, you listen. When someone feels heard, their defenses drop. When they voice the problem in their own words, they own the solution.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
And when they connect the dots, you don't need to pressure them. You just show them the path. Marcus Sheridan says, if you teach them better than anyone else, they'll buy from you, even if you're not the cheapest. And this methodology is all about the open-ended question. What have you tried to solve this already? What happens if nothing changes by next quarter?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
How would your day-to-day shift if this was off your plate? Then say, here's what I'd recommend based on what you shared. If it feels aligned, let's roll. This is how you build long-term trust, not just to get a yes, but to get loyal clients who refer, renew, and rave about you. So yeah, I could try to manipulate you into buying something right now, but I'd rather just earn your trust.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
And if you're building something real, something that actually helps people, then you know it's not about pressure, it's about perspective. And in the spirit of building trust, guys, just take 10 seconds and download a copy of 100 Must Read Books for Fearless Entrepreneurs and Leaders. Scroll down or go to books.ryanhanley.com. I promise you may learn something. This is the way, my friends.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
And in that case, I'll throw in a free digital PDF and a soul hug. Here's what my last client said. You know, I made $880K in eight days with just eight emails. I mean, this sounds ridiculous, but you know, this game, you've seen it a thousand times and deep down, you know, it's . So what's the reason people still fall for this stuff? It's because it does work in the short term.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
Yes, these hacks can spike sales, but they also spike mistrust. You might win the transaction, but you lose the relationship. It's like selling a protein shake that tastes amazing, but secretly wreaks havoc on your gut and For any of my lifter friends out there, you completely know what that means. The customer might come back once, but eventually they'll realize they're being sold, not served.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Stop Using These Bullsh*t Sales Tactics
And when that happens, you're not just out a buyer, you're out every referral, every testimonial, every future upsell, and every ounce of long-term trust. The cost of short-term tactics is long-term credibility. So why does this stuff actually work? Because if you're selling coaching, consulting, even if you're hawking insurance policies, really anything with real stakes,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
really talk about it much on the show but was like my kids don't really understand what I do you know I tell them but I don't know. I wanted them to know, I want them, I want there to be, I wanted them to be able to look back and be like, kind of know who their dad was, you know, like what I was all about. I mean, I talked, I mean, I talked to him constantly.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Why would someone push back against this type of treatment or just outright try to deny it from even being used?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
So I had him on the show, which has nothing to do with business, but like his, I wanted his, I wanted to share his mindset, you know, cause he's such a, the way he thinks is very interesting way, breaks down problems. And, you know, I mean, they're telling us that stuff is real, that they, um, you know, can only see through a telescope, you know, X number a billion miles away.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Like, how do you convince people of that? You know, that's interesting to me. So it's all good. Dr. Joy, I'm so incredibly happy to have you on the show. When someone like our mutual friend, Mick Hunt, refers me a guest, I get very excited because I know it's someone who's just going to be incredible and share tons of knowledge.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Joy, do you also, sorry to interrupt you, but Dr. Joy, do you think how much of this is also Like the scenarios that we talked about at the very beginning, where... there's seemingly so much more money to be made in stacking prescriptions on prescriptions on prescriptions.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
And if there's a preventative or regenerative medicine that someone can start to use that keeps them from actually experiencing any of those issues later where these drug companies make all their money. I mean, we know we've seen in RFK and it started already uncover some of this where these drug companies are...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
petitioning and in many cases, you know, doing in-kind trade with the FDA in order to block certain therapies and certain types of drugs because they can they can actually limit the need for all of these stacks of drugs that they're making billions on. I mean, is that is that part of it at all?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Is there internal push and internal not to go too down the conspiracy theory role, although conspiracy theories are my favorite. You know, is there any of that happening inside the states as well?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
It's the red tape roadblock. Yeah. So it's like, yeah, you can do this, Dr. Joy, but here's 17 hoops you need to jump through. Yeah, we support you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
All right. So some people think it's illegal. What are some of the other myths that people are running into?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
I want to start with what is the difference between regenerative medicine and regular medicine? What is the call out for regenerative that makes it different from maybe what we've experienced as medicine through going to our GP for most of our lives?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Was that like an anti-abortion play? Was that- Is that what that, like kind of a side product?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
What's the thought process there? If they're able to do the research and they find out that something could actually help people, is that just ideological and political?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Yeah, yeah, seven days is pretty early to do that kind of thing. I was thinking more like, you know, living in New York, and I don't mean this to be political, but New York loves abortions and all these babies are going somewhere. You know, I would rather if we're going to,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
I'm obviously I swing a little more conservative, but if we're going to allow for all this, you know, part of me is like, you know, maybe at least we could use them for good and help the people that are still here. But if it's that early, that that's really early. And plus, it seems to me like that's. Pretty scary.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
But what you're saying is that, okay, so that, that might be the more scary side that are used as scare tactics going all the way to embryonic, but something like umbilical cord, much more stable, much more, we can use it for research when we can actually use it for products.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Yeah. Awesome. So why would, why would someone want, like what's a use case for stem cells for, for someone who's listening and you know, like what, what, what are some of the things that, we use them for today that, you know, people can, can think about in their own life as a potential treatment versus maybe again, going down this pharmaceutical rabbit hole, which I'm honestly anti.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
I mean, it's not like they don't know me, but they're, they're kids now, you know, like they, it's impossible for them to fully understand who you are when you're 44 and they're 11, you know? So like, They just can't fully understand who you are.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
So in a very non-medical way, essentially like taking the individual with the optic nerve, essentially the stem cells are helping to regrow the damaged tissue associated with say like the optic nerve or something. Is that the idea or-
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Dr. Joy, I just want to stop for a second, have you touch on this. This is something that I have learned over the years. because I had such bad tissue damage in my right elbow from playing college baseball and throwing improperly for so long that there was a period of time where like, I don't know if you can see the people watching on YouTube. This is what my right arm looked like.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Now I can extend it all the way, but for a period of time, this was as far as I could extend my right arm because of how much tissue damage and inflammation was going on in my elbow. And I had doctors go, oh, that just happens to baseball players and blah, blah, blah. And you use your elbow and all this kind of stuff.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
And then I finally found a physical therapist who gave me this intense download on inflammation. And I had no idea. Like, I don't know, a regular person, you hear the term. I mean, today you might hear it more, but this is 15 years ago. And... I just didn't realize I mean, I simply I did two things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
One, I broke down the some of the scar tissue with a whatever, like a roller, but all I really did was change my diet to a highly anti inflammatory diet. And my arm just started to creep down, down, down. And now I pretty much eat a banana inflammatory diet all the time as much as I can, although I do occasionally like a cocktail. Um,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
And now I have full range of motion just from changing my diet and inflammation. And I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I think what you're saying is so incredibly important, this idea of the reduction of inflammation in our day-to-day lives. And I guess my question to you is, do you think stem cell therapy will ever be a just, oh, I'm a losing the right word right now.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Cause I just went off on that story, but like a day to day, just preventative.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
a neophyte, but completely believe in working towards this, which is why I love having people like you on. Cause we get to, we get to learn, the audience gets to learn. And you know, this really, this, this came to me and I, and I started to see something's wrong. I don't understand it. I'm not a doctor, but I could tell something was wrong with when it came to my mother.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
So, and then I've heard that women like a little curve, but you know, I'm just saying, I don't want to, I don't want to knock all, you know, we don't want to knock all that. I couldn't help myself. So yeah, I still have a like 11 year old sense of humor. Um, okay. So I want to rapid fire some things at you and kind of just get your quick thoughts on a couple, you know, kind of moving.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
We spent a lot of time on stem cells, which I really appreciate. I also, um, whether we do it with everyone listening or when we go, I want to figure out what like dark web website I can go to, to order some, like, you know, some, something I can start to test with. I love testing stuff. Um, okay. So I'm going to throw like a few different, I'm going to,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Either maybe misclassified, maybe not, but just regenerative type medicines or that I've seen classified as regenerative and just get your feedback on some of these. The first, and we'll start light and maybe move a little heavier, like infrared therapy slash sauna heat therapy as a way to help your body regenerate.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
So my mother has she got some issues with her eyes and different stuff. And a lot of it was inflammation related, right? So a lot of the different things she has is inflammation related. And the doctor, you know, her doctor, and this is nothing against her doctor, right? But his recommendation was basically a medicine to cure or a pill to cure the inflammation.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Yeah, I think I've heard, I've done it a few times. But I have a few buddies who've like made it part of their routine. And they... They swear by it. I mean, they're like, oh my gosh, my skin, the way I feel, it's incredible. But that's good to know. Okay, what about NAD? Talking about mitochondrial energy. Like I've heard a lot of people, I take a NAD powder that my...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
A friend who is very into optimization, got me turned on to and he said, Hey, this is like the food for our mitochondria, it helps our mitochondria work, it brings back cells that maybe, you know, gives them more energy, they, they perform for longer, etc. You know, where does that play a mix in this? Is that is that part of something people should be considering?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Yeah, I have the people who swear by it. I found are the ones who can tolerate the injections and or the drips and sit there for two hours and get an NAD drip. But it's also, I think to your point and just, you know, for the audience, my experience has been it's very expensive for the lack of real change that you seemingly feel, right? Like, you know what I mean?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Like when you're talking like bang for the buck, like you said, it seems nominal versus what you have to pay to experience it where, you know, I think there's other ways. Another one, and then I'm finishing with peptides because that's the one I'm actually very interested in. But I've seen this everywhere, and I actually saw it on your channel. I have not had a chance to watch a video yet.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Methylene blue. I've had multiple people – again, not a doctor, but I've had – because I do the podcast, people seemingly think I know what I'm talking about. Just so everyone's listening, I don't. That's why I bring guests on like Dr. Joy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
But I've had people reach out to me about methylene blue and just said, what's this all about? I literally have no idea. What is methylene blue? Is this something that helps in this kind of regenerative frame? Or is it another kind of fly by night thing that you see on Instagram and TikTok?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
But then there needed to be another pill to deal with the side effects of that medication. And then a third pill, or no, that was it. Then there was a shot that she needed to take to deal with the side effects of the medication that dealt with the side effects of the anti-inflammatory. And I was like, that...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
And yeah, no, that's really interesting. Cause the guy that reached out to me is actually has long or long COVID or is dealing with the ramifications of long COVID. And he, ever since he got COVID, you know, he's had the brain fog and the lack of energy and some of the symptoms that have come and you know, I always, part of me wants to be like, dude, you're 40 something years old.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
We all have, we're all not as sharp as we were twenties, but, um, but no, he, uh, it was, that's interesting. So that, that's really interesting. That came out of COVID. Um, I know we're, we're, we're running out of time, but I have to ask you about, um, and we probably don't have enough time to dig into, uh, deeper into these, but it gives me a reason to have you back, um, peptides, right. Um,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
I'm currently taking Smorlin, which I'm working with a woman who does hormone optimization. I had a really, about a year ago, I got, I like ran into a brick wall, not literally, figuratively. live in New York, I deal with the New York winners for 44 years and 44 years old. I've dealt with them my entire life. I understand there's, you know, vitamin D and everyone kind of has a drop.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
You don't see the sun for about four months. But man, it was different. And I went and got my testosterone tested and I was at a 70. So seventh percentile of men my age. Oh my goodness. Which was bad, which was odd. I mean, I work out, I eat well, you know, whatever. But I was way off, way off, right? Like no sex drive.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
I mean, again, not a doctor, but just logically that doesn't feel like we shouldn't have to take three different things to solve one problem, right? And so my understanding of regenerative medicine is also kind of a philosophy of getting out ahead of these things before the issue actually occurs. Is that-
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
I was, it took me every ounce of energy I had to get to the gym, terrible workouts, really bad moods, whatever. And so we did a little bit of testosterone stuff and kind of got that straightened out and figured out what that was. And some of that may have been stress related, but one of the things that she put me on was samoriline.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
And and then that got me kind of researching more and learning more about what peptides can do. And so just with the time we have remaining, I'd love for you to finish a little bit, maybe just just tell a little bit about how peptides work and if they work in conjunction with stem cells and how we should be considering these things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
And I think it's hopefully cool if they're interested in or whatever, that when they get older and maybe they're in their 40s, they can look back at these shows and be like, oh, that's what my dad was thinking. Now I'm kind of similar age, similar part in life and kind of compare. I think that's interesting. I have two boys.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
You know, you just, and you just literally hit like three quarters of the agenda items that I want to talk about today because I'm so interested in these things. You know, one last story just for the audience. So I have hereditary high cholesterol. I've been having my cholesterol checked and had high cholesterol since I was eight years old.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
And, you know, I think right now I'm like at 260 or something like that. But it's always been in that range. Now, depending on who you talk to, 260 isn't even high. But my doctor last time I went in, was like, you know, I got my blood work done and she's like, it's been too many years. You got to go on Lipitor.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Now, I don't want to go on Lipitor because there's a ton of side effects that come from Lipitor and I just don't want that in my body. And I was like, well... so I did a Google, you know, I Google doctored, I did a Google MD, you know, and found that like, basically if you don't have any plaque, there's nothing. And I'm getting not a doctor, right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
But if there's no plaque, then there's nothing for the cholesterol to grab onto. And I said to her, well, what if, can I go get a plaque test? And she's like, well, if you must. And I was like, cause I go, we're on the same page that if like my plaque is zero, I don't need Lipitor. Right. And she's like, well, technically you're right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
And I'm just like, it like shattered my confidence in my relationship with my doctor that like, she knew that before I went on Lipitor, I should probably have this calcium test. And didn't even mention it. She was just, like, right to Lipitor. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, I have to start really considering my health more. Like, not just relying on someone's opinion.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Like, I have to start to do my own research. And that's why all of this is a preface to get to some of these things that I want to talk about. Because I think...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
There is so much information and it feels to me like we are, especially now that we have like RFK in, you know, for better or for worse and the different things he's doing, he is opening people's mind up to the fact that we can't just blindly listen to the advice from our GP and just that's absolutely going to be okay.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
So I want to start with one that I think is probably, um, people probably heard the term, but have literally might have literally no idea what it is. And that's stem cells. Like maybe just explain what stem cells are for the audience.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
Let's break down stem cells for everybody.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
That's how it started. What I'm, what I'm personally the most interested in is just overall P performance and becoming the best versions of ourselves. So I have people from all over the spectrum on and you know, it's, it's more just, I like talking to interesting people or trying to help other people be better and whatever that takes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
And sometimes it's like, you know, like I've had Dr. Brian Keating on and he's a doctor by of like, astrophysics or he goes by professor, I guess now, um, cause too many people were giving him shit about his, uh, he's got a doctorate. He's not a doctor. Um, but, uh, but he's an astrophysicist, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
And stem cell treatment in general, particularly in this country, seems to be like a slightly contentious topic, right? There's, I've heard arguments that you can't, sometimes you can't like recreate the results. I've heard, you know, read arguments about just the morality of using an umbilical cord that tends to be from some of the more religious groups. Like there seems, this doesn't,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Are Stem Cells the Unlock to Regenerative Medicine? | Dr Joy Kong
it does seem to be a lot of controversy around this. So maybe what are the, to me, it makes sense that as we continue to evolve, deal with new environmental factors, we continue to understand how our bodies work. Our bodies obviously repair themselves. We see it in real time when we're injured. Right. So like, we know these things are there. Um, What is the counter argument to stem cells?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
Our business was growing, but it was costing us a ton of money. We tried removing programs from our tech stack, but that only made things worse. Today, I'm going to break down the three first principles that we implemented that turned our cash burning startup into a cash machine. Now, here's a warning. The first two we took directly from Elon Musk.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
We were working longer hours, buying all the tools we thought our business was supposed to have, but somehow we were making less profit. every month. It felt like we were running full speed on a treadmill and the treadmill was on fire and the fire was started with dollar bills that should have been going into our pockets. It was brutal, but all startup founders, entrepreneurs, you guys get it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
Anyone who's built a business from scratch. Then we did what most businesses do. We looked at what was happening and we started cutting expenses. We slashed software, we removed tools, we canceled subscriptions. And you know what happened? it just made things worse. These were things that we actually needed, and cutting them didn't help us be more efficient and effective.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
And that's exactly what happened. Efficiency dropped, team productivity fell apart, and revenue started sliding. Cutting costs wasn't the answer. So we had to go back to basics, and that's when we discovered something game-changing. Three radical strategies. Now, the first two we took from Elon Musk and basically from how he turned Twitter now X around. And the third we developed ourselves.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
It's what the kids call these days fire, the good kind. It was the catalyst for record growth. And all three of these strategies are ignored, especially by early stage entrepreneurs and founders. Now, these three strategies saved our business and 10X our profit margins. without firing a single employee. So here's what we did.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
These are three rarely used strategies that absolutely transformed our business, and I think they'll do the same for you. So principle number one, zero-based budgeting. This has been pioneered by Elon Musk. He shouts it from the rooftops. Most businesses budget by adding expenses on top of last year's spending, and that's wrong.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
We switched to zero-based budgeting, which means we justified every dollar we spent from scratch. And here's what Elon has to say about zero-based budgeting. He says, every line item should be justified from scratch. No more, we spent this much last year, so let's just increase it by inflation or some arbitrary percentage. That's how you end up with bureaucratic blow.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
The last change, which new founders and entrepreneurs are particularly susceptible to, unlocks your business in ways you never thought possible. Now, stick with me. I'm going to explain three principles that you need to know to start stacking cash instead of lighting it on fire.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
And I couldn't agree with Elon more. And this happens even in businesses that aren't bureaucratic, right? And David Friedberg on the All In podcast talks about this all the time. Zero-based budgeting is a first principle. This forced us to cut the bloat while keeping what actually mattered. Simply cutting subscriptions didn't force us to make the hard decisions.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
Starting from zero, the thought experiment forced us to discuss not just what tools, but what was most important processes to drive revenue and growth profitably. What did we actually need to execute our business? Because as I had mentioned before, even though we had cut expenses, we were just cutting the things that felt expensive, not
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
thinking through the process as to what we actually needed to be efficient and effective. Principle number two, the no meeting rule. And this is a huge one for me because I absolutely hate meetings. Meetings are killers. We canceled every single meeting and only added back the ones that were absolutely necessary. And here's rule to be no meeting over 30 minutes ever, even all hands meetings.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
You can run a meeting in 30 minutes or less. And there's a lot of research around the idea that we will fill a meeting with whatever time is scheduled. So if you could get the meeting done in 15 minutes, but it's scheduled for an hour, you will fill an hour. And that is 45 minutes of wasted time. Shorter meetings lead to more productivity and efficiency because you're forced to get to the point.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
And look, I know today that in a remote workplace, we use these meetings as a chance to get to know each other and talk. And if you want to build in five to 10 minutes of connection time, I'm all for that. But just as you add meetings back in, make sure that you are intentional and purposeful in why you have this meeting and what you're trying to achieve.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
Now, here's another quote from Elon on the no meetings rule. He says, excessive meetings are the blight of big companies and almost always get worse over time. Please get rid of large meetings unless you are certain they are providing value to the whole audience, in which case keep them very short. I could not agree with Elon more.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
cancel your meetings, you'll be astounded what you actually add back. Now, what we found is that instantly, our team had 15 more hours per week to focus on real work instead of pointless calls. 15 hours, it blew, absolutely blew my mind, to be honest with you. No more check-in meetings, recurring meetings without a point, and while... At first, some of our team leaders actually pushed back.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
Within a few weeks, 100% of the feedback was positive. There was no going back. Everyone loved having that time back in their day, and productivity went through the roof. Now, before we get to principle number three, I want to let you know that this is a principle that we... found and implemented and developed ourselves internally.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
And it was the real game changer for the profitability issue that we were having. And it is sales efficiency. This is the most overlooked business lever, especially for early stage entrepreneurs and founders. Most companies think that new leads is the answer. And this was our first thought as well. We actually went so far as to take on some debt in order to drive more leads into our funnel.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
But more leads wasn't the answer.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
sure we were writing more business but the growth was linear it was incremental and while it was nice to see the sales numbers go up our bottom line results just they simply didn't change and that's what was killing us was profit we were frustrated we were desperate so we decided to follow the same model as with our expenses and meetings we zeroed out our sales process so instead of chasing more leads we focused on closing more of the leads we have
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
We tore our sales process down and rebuilt it from scratch as if we would never get more leads than we had coming in. If we were generating 25 to 30 qualified inbound leads a day, we built our sales process as if we would never generate more than 25 to 30 inbound leads a day. and that forced us to refocus on how we close those deals.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
That meant a ruthless focus on customer experience, fed by real customer feedback. We actually reached out to our customers. God forbid you talk to your customers, right? We dug into human psychology to move our prospects from cold to qualified to close and streamline that process to respect our prospects' time and maximize our sales reps' total contacts per day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
We called this process the one-call close. The one-call close process took our reps from an average close ratio of 35% to over 80% in only three months. Our revenue jumped exponentially. And this is despite turning off all our additional ad campaigns that we had taken on that debt for. Not only were we making more money, but our customer feedback scores went through the roof.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
And the energy inside the sales team was ridiculous because they were having the same amount of touches but just closing more business. We went from dying to thriving. And the best part was this was a repeatable process that we could train our new reps. And now we started bringing on more reps, which we didn't even think was possible. So here's the deal.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
If you want the same results that will be the envy of your industry, we've packaged this up into what we call the One Call Close system and a course we call Master of the Close. You can go to masteroftheclose.com today, get access to the exact process as well as... All the PDF guides, talk tracks, scripts, everything that we use to push our reps close ratios over 80%.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
And like I said, in less than 90 days, in less than 90 days, they went from 35% close ratio to 80% close ratio, right? With the addition of giving them more time back from reducing meetings, as well as looking at our expenses and building from scratch, we went from unprofitable to profitable, lighting money on fire, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
to stacking cash in three months and because you're listening to this show i'm gonna put in the first comment of the youtube video and the description of the for the show notes if you're listening to the audio version i'm gonna put a link and a special code that you can use to get a discount because i love you guys for listening to this show it just makes me so happy that you spend your time with me and that you get value from what we're doing here so all right
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
Most businesses, guys, they operate based on assumptions. This is how we've always done it. The industry standard. This is what everyone else does. And that's the big mistake. That's why most businesses struggle to grow efficiently. They copy instead of thinking. And that fix is first principle thinking.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
First principle thinking forces you to strip away the assumptions and rebuild from the ground up. like an engineer, not a bureaucrat. This is how Elon Musk disrupted multiple industries. He didn't ask, how do we make it cheaper rocket? He asked, what are the fundamental components of a rocket and how can we build one better and cheaper from scratch? That is exactly what we did with our business.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
What is up, guys? If you're watching this on YouTube, comment below with a fire emoji. If you are sick of burning profits that should go into your pocket, then tell me what your biggest pain point is. If we don't address it in this video, I'll make sure that we hit it in future episodes. If you're listening on the podcast, come over on YouTube, do the same.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
We stopped following the conventional business rules and instead rebuilt from first principles. First principle thinking equals business freedom and growth. And if you keep making decisions based on how things have always been done, you will stay stuck where you are. And you'll be frustrated, and you'll be confused, and you'll have anxiety and stress.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
And growing a business is hard enough without almost intentionally forcing those emotions on ourselves. That's not what I want from you, and it's not why you come to this channel and listen to these ideas, concepts, strategies that I share with you every week. So if you break everything down, challenge assumptions, and rebuild from first principles, I promise you will win.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
You will start finding areas of efficiency and effectiveness you didn't know were there. If you're ready to apply these to your sales strategy, go to Master of the Clothes. As I said, guys, think in first principles. Execute relentlessly. Win big. This is the way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
How Elon Musk’s Strategies Can Save Your Business – Ryan Hanley
Also, if you haven't, make sure you like the video or subscribe wherever you're listening or watching. All right, with that out of the way, let's get to these first principles that are just so incredibly important that we had to learn the hard way. So here's the deal. We kept spending more.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. We have a phenomenal episode for you, a conversation with Charles Felton. He is the author of the business classic, The Thin Book of Trust. This book has sold more than 100,000 copies. And guys, when I bought the book on Amazon, right, and the very first quote is from Brene Brown.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Yeah, this is, you know, I think about like the culture that Ray Dalio has created inside of his organization. He's written books about he's done a lot of interviews around how they their team in some regard. And again, I'm kind of glazing this idea, but they're almost ranked based on how often they bring players.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
I don't want to call them dissenting because it's not meant to be negative in any way. But as often as someone is willing to bring alternative ideas to the conversation and present them in a quality, they're like ranked inside their organization almost for being disagreeable but in a positive way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
And he equates that to the massive growth that they've had and the sustained massive growth that they've had to the fact that they're literally incentivized to to come up with alternative ideas, to be disagreeable, to present arguments that go against the common or accepted narrative inside the organization.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
And you think about the emotional strength that you have to have, one, to do it, and two, the cultural strength
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
that he's created that they feel like they can do that and not and not be penalized i mean that's an enviable or organizational culture i think that's kind of where we would like to get not easy and certainly taking time but does that feel like the direction that ultimately we're trying to go
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
yeah yeah that's you know that was one of the things you know as our organization grew and we started to have this culture of alternative ideas right i think it started to be at first it was all very positive and then you know people start doing these internal calculations you know these calculations in their head of how often their ideas accepted in this person's and then you know and and you know we had at a certain point to do like a
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
we'd have a hard conversation around framing. And that was one of the, like there was like a month of my life at the organization where I was working with individuals around framing their arguments to be not his idea or her idea, but the idea, right? Like what is the thing they said? Not, you know, you don't like the way his tone, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
We got into these crazy semantic nonsense in my mind, in my mind, I know they're important, but in my mind as a leader, arguments around the tone used in Slack. And I was like, guys, one, we can't hear them. So like, That diminishes tone to not everyone is great at conveying in a short form context like slack. They're right. You know, they're not perfectly articulating all their ideas.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Like, you know, you know, we need to talk about not filling in the blanks between the words because people would like inject. And I'd be like, wait a minute. He didn't actually write that or she didn't actually write that. She wrote this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
You've stuck this word in this word in these two places and made it sound like they're accusing you of something when really they're just, you know, asking a question from a different direction. And that framing exercise was one of the most exhausting things I've ever done as a leader. But we did start to get better at it. Not perfect, but, you know, I guess.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
to talk about the weather when we meet each other or we're just like not real humans, I guess. I guess that's what it is, right? Like you have to, you're forced to talk about the weather always when you first meet somebody. Yes, yes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
If I were, you know, getting free consulting from you, which is essentially what a podcast is in general, you know, like how how would you help leaders who are out there going, you know, I'm I'm trying to create this space. I'm trying to help people.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
But geez, they just we always seem to drop back into he said it this way or she said it that way or, you know, she said this, but I know what she really means. Like, how do we start to pull our team and even ourselves out of the person delivering the message and extract? just the message and try to remove that human attachment that oftentimes can corrupt the message they're trying to get across.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Do you think that that's something that we've just like has come up through our culture and just literally every business meeting ever, the first time you meet with someone, your first five minutes are talking about where you're from and what the weather is. And then everyone commiserates. And then you kind of like have this moment of awkward silence.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
and you can we all can why a lot of times incredibly high task performers who get elevated to leadership positions often struggle because maybe they were an incredible salesperson or they were just the best on the phone with service people or whatever that thing is and then they get elevated to a leadership position and like wait a minute i was really good at the decisions that it took to execute this task
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Now, all of a sudden, I'm dealing with people all day. What the hell is going on here? When I was training my management team at my company, we came up with a phrase in service of. I said, your job is no longer to sell insurance policies or service insurance policies or whatever. You are now in service of the humans that do that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
And if you don't want your day to day life to be in service of the other humans that do that task, then this is not right. right spot for you and and you don't have to be great at it today i need you to want to get to that place but that's where your mind needs to be you are no longer the person doing the thing you are the person in service of the people doing the thing
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
And then you go, well, let's talk about what we really came here to talk about. And it's like every conversation, every time it's like built into our DNA.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
and that phrase seemed to really grab them and we that became like a mantra like anytime someone started to get a little squirrely we'd be like just remember in service of right and so i i know she's difficult but we're in service of her because she kills it you know she's selling her butt off like you know we need to be in service of her how do we how do we help her how do we help the team you know work together whatever and that seemed to really work but i want to transition to to a scenario that
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
I think it has been popularized by Elon Musk, but I think can create trust issues. And I just wanted to help you navigate this. And it's something that I, outside of Elon Musk, you know, I didn't even really know he did this until I started to research it. But I had a scenario where I needed to make a decision on a thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
So I went all the way down to the boots on the ground level, like the actual salespeople, you know, doing the calls, talking to the customers, and I asked them for their help. And I... And I think this was the major mistake, but I bypassed the manager. And frankly, I didn't want the manager there because I wanted to get the kind of unfiltered response from the person doing the day-to-day work.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
I didn't want to get a filtered version, and I certainly didn't want the day-to-day person to feel like they had to filter because their manager was there, etc. And that if I had to do the calculation, it boosted my trust with the person on the ground. But it definitely had an impact on both the trust from the manager to the boots on the ground person and the manager to me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
so i like this idea of go to the person doing the thing to get the answer but how do we navigate that say as an executive level how do we navigate through the manager layers so that we all know we're working the same direction no one's being stepped past or stepped on and we can all kind of you know understand what we're trying to do you know in this type of scenario how do we how do we work through that process from a trust perspective
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
So to that point, when I was going down the rabbit hole, digging deep into it, there was one stat that's like was right at the top that just caught my attention immediately, which was this disconnect between, you know, 86% of leaders. feel that they're trustworthy yet only 60% of employees or team members actually trust leadership. And like, there's this disconnect between those two things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Well, see, I think my first problem was I didn't tell the management folks. I just called the person directly and said, hey, I'm working on something. I want to get your thought on it. Right. So that's kind of how I said now in my mind, I'm going.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
know again i don't mean this to sound egotistical but in my mind i'm like i'm the ceo of the company like i should be able to call whoever i want and talk to them on the phone like i didn't i wasn't purposefully trying to bypass the manager but i wanted that person's opinion and i didn't want it filtered right so that was kind of my idea so i just picked up the phone and i called them and i didn't even realize there was a problem until a couple weeks later there was like a passive aggressive comment in a meeting and i was like something's wrong
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
So then I called the manager on the phone. And then that's when this kind of all shook out. And I was like, you know, I need some crow. And, you know, I apologize. Look, I'm not trying to step on your toes, whatever. But yeah, I didn't I didn't say anything to the manager, you know.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
To that point, kind of bringing up the topic of transparency again, what is the right balance? How do we find harmony with transparency, right? Like, I always tended to just full transparency, right? Because one, I have hardcore ADHD, ADD. I just move very fast. My brain moves very fast. And I always found... Trying to be less transparent, just like an anchor around my way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Like, should I share this? Should I not? It's like that thought alone just like slowed me down enough that I was like, screw it. I'm just going to tell everything because it's just easier. I don't have to. I told this person this. I didn't tell this person this right. Like, but that also comes. you know, there are negatives to being completely transparent too.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
And what I ultimately tried to find was a good balance. I don't know that I found it. So, you know, being that, you know, this is a topic that you definitely have expertise in. I would love your opinion on, How do we start to find, and I know there's not like a certain number. It's not like you can come back and go 73%, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
How do we as leaders start to figure out what a good level of transparency is so that our team knows we're being honest with them, that we're sharing with them, but maybe we don't need to barf every single thing onto them that's happening in the organization, every number, et cetera.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
And that just immediately caught me. And yeah, Where does that come from? I want to dig in and kind of there's so many people in leadership positions more towards even the early side of their career that listen to this show. Right. Tends to be entrepreneurs, people who've who maybe have found leadership positions, but tend to be newer to leadership positions.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
I don't know if that helps in your... Yeah, no, no, that's perfect. Because I think, you know, it's definitely a struggle. We can't help but build emotional relationships to the people that we spend eight, nine, ten, you know, however many hours a day we're in this place. We build these emotions.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
You know, even the people who may not be your best friends, you still don't necessarily want to hurt them. You don't want them to be sad. You don't, you know, all these things. And I think it's a wonderful... The way you put it is a wonderful template because...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
it expresses the emotional concern for them while being open to the limitations that they have based on on their job and their commitment to the organization and i don't think you can ask more for that i i would assume you get yourself in trouble in that same position
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
more often than not by going against what maybe management has given you as a directive and oversharing in that moment and trying to, you know, in an effort to try to curb someone's ill feelings towards you, right? Like I'm going to, You know, you may hate this company because they're firing you, but you're going to still like me because I'm going to tell you two weeks early.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
And now that person's walking around for two weeks looking at, you know, eyeballing everybody like, you know, I'm going. So what do I care? Right. And it just creates all this problem. Is oversharing tend to be the issue or is it undersharing versus kind of I'd say classy middle road that you just kind of described?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
And they might not even one be aware that that gap in trust exists. And two, I'd love to take our time together and really work through that. Things we can do as individuals and organizationally to start to bridge that gap.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Yeah, I completely agree. Yeah, I think that's a wonderful point. I want to transition now to the thin book of trust, right? More than 100,000 copies sold. You recently updated the book. What was the impetus for the update? And, you know, why did you feel like it was necessary now to do an update to the book?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
I have used his definitions of trust and distrust in every book I've ever written. Yes, the Brene Brown, one of the leaders, one of the absolute gurus, one of the best and deepest thinkers on the idea of trust and leadership and connection and communication. Brene uses Charles definitions of trust and distrust in her books.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Well, Charles, I'm very grateful that you took this time with us, that you share your expertise. The book is tremendous. Appreciate you. Where can people learn more about you and your work as well as pick up a copy of the book?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
you can also buy it from the publisher and there you order it through you know barnes noble you can order it through pretty much any independent bookseller at this point so you just look for the thin book of trust or ask for the thin book of trust third edition guys and i'll have links to everything in the show notes so whether you're watching on youtube or listening to the podcast however you listen to podcasts just scroll down you'll find links highly highly recommend the thin book of trust especially if you are i like what you know the things that i took from it were really
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Not just large organizationally, but if you have groups or teams and you're trying to really build that dynamic trust that makes teams rock, this is a wonderful, wonderful resource. I appreciate you, Charles. I appreciate your work. And thank you again for your time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Do you think I really like this idea that we forget like we needed when we're in that position? And do you think that forgetfulness is it ego? Is it stress of the position? Is it preconceived notions on what a leader in this position is supposed to be? Or is it just time away from doing that day to day work or some other factor?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Yeah, I actually learned this lesson the hard way. I've started a national digital commercial insurance agency back in 2020. And my expertise has come out of the insurance industry. I've been an executive in the insurance industry for a long time. And I started my own insurance agency and built on tech and idea, whatever, all good.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
And for the first year and a half, I think one, because I was kind of
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
early on you play all these different roles so i had my hands in most of the pieces right and as i as the organization started to grow and as you described earlier i stopped having my hands in all the pieces and started focusing more on the things that someone in the in the ceo position needed to focus on i kept pretending as if i was supposed to have all the answers and one day on a call and it was a team call we had i think low 20s at this point in terms of number of people in the organization
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
And that just gives you a little preview on what you're going to get today from Charles Felton. Couldn't be more excited to have him on the show and dig into this topic. My friends, if you're listening to this on Spotify, Apple, wherever you listen to podcasts or you're watching it on YouTube, please, if you're not subscribe, tell a friend, leave a comment, leave a review.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Someone asked me a question about something that I just had no clue how to solve the problem. And it was not intentional, but I just said, I literally had that kind of reaction. I have no idea how to solve that. Like literally on the call. Right. And I said, I'm, you know, I need one of you to figure it out. Like, I don't know. Like, I literally don't know what the answer to this problem is.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Right. And then we moved on. What woke me up to this idea was I got three emails after that meeting from different team members saying, One, you know, with with solutions, all with individual solutions that we then use to actually come up with what we did. But there was one of the emails that said and it was from I think she was kind of boots on the ground, CSR customer rep.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
And she said, I've never been on a call with my boss before and have him say he didn't know the answer to a problem. Thank you. And it was like it was like a gut punch and a light bulb going off at the same exact time. Right. Like I was like, oh, my God, wait a minute. I don't actually need to know everything. That's what all these other humans that I hired are for. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
Like they have they have answers to questions, too. And then that like completely changed, you know, how you know how I've operated as a leader since. But it was really an eye opening moment for me that. Like I had been trying to be this thing, as you mentioned, like the role I was supposed to play and I was doing it wrong.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
And really the course of our business changed because then all of a sudden I started, well, actually, I don't know that thing over there. I don't know that thing over there. Well, you guys got to start. And then all of a sudden, incredible solutions started coming from places that you wouldn't have otherwise traditionally expected, which which really helped us grow.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
So, you know, I can I can be a testament to exactly what you're saying. know i i had actually how we got connected was through one of your team members i had done an episode with an individual who his position was we need more autocratic leadership but almost in like a benevolent dictator kind of way not dictator's wrong word he did not like that word he liked autocratic but like i guess
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
One, I'd love your take on just that term autocratic in general, especially because the audience would have heard it positioned before. But also, his main point was you need someone making decisions that we've gotten too committee-based. And...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
He believed, and this is really where I'm interested in your take, is that an individual making a decision, if using some of the principles of trust that you're describing, you could generate more trust in an organization that way than if it were nine people in a room together. you know, kind of closed off making a decision that it felt more, it felt less tangible was kind of what he was saying.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
It didn't, it didn't feel like you could really grab onto something if it were this group of people versus a single individual that they thought was making the decision. Do you think there's a case to be made there? Obviously with the glossing that I've put on the idea?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
I read every comment that comes in. I read every review that comes in. I respond to all of them. I love you guys for taking the time to share your thoughts, your feelings about this show, the work we're doing here to help you get better as a leader, to help you become the person that you were meant to be, that God intended you to be, to hit peak performance. I'm all jacked up today.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
feel however like that is our natural inclination most of the large organizations that i worked with earlier in my career etc it tends when these committees get formed or decision-making bodies get formed they tend to be hand selected with the individuals that you know are going to vote alongside you or are going to vote in a similar pattern tends to be a way a lot of these
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
you know, you, you get, you get labeled as the disagreeable one or the, you know, this guy's always got, you know, something else, something different to say.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
And why do you feel like, why do you feel like it seems like we really have to work to get to what you just described and how, if you're part of an organization and you, you want to build, you want to build a space where people can feel like they can come in and disagree or take different viewpoints and they're not going to be punished for that. How do we start to build that?
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Building TRUST in 2025 What Top Leaders Wish They Knew - Charles Feltman
How do we, how do we let an employee know who may have a different opinion and that they're going to be, I hate this term, but safe sharing that opinion and not being penalized down the road for sharing it in a meeting?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
In the green room, you started by saying something that I was like, all right, I got to hit record because I don't want you to waste all the flavor. You said a lot of people are complaining that it's difficult to win today. And you think that this is one of the best times to win. Can you break that down for us?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
I mean, that's kind of what we're talking about here. It's crazy. There's no receipts for the other side of the argument. You know, they got they got words they can throw at you. Bigot, you know, toxic masculinity, you know, whatever else they want to throw at you. But not a single receipt for that methodology. And that's what fucking breaks me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
One warning before we move on to Michael, there is a lot of colorful language. in this episode, so if you are offended by colorful language, you may wanna turn the volume down just a little bit, but I promise you will be motivated, you will be inspired, and by the end of this episode, you will be ready to run through a brick wall. Guys, I love you for being here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Yeah, and for the guys out there that are listening who maybe you know you have people pleasing in you, and I'm a recovering people pleaser. When I look back at the places in my life where I've stagnated in my growth, it's because I allowed that side of my body. I wanted to be nice. I wanted people to like me. I wanted people versus what had to get done, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
If you enjoy this show, we grow this show just by you sharing it, by telling people, by posting on social media, texting the show to friends. I appreciate you so much. I hope you enjoy this episode. Let's get on to Michael McLean. In the green room, you started by saying something that I was like, all right, I got to hit record because I don't want you to waste all the flavor.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
And it doesn't mean, you know, I think the way that this argument gets straw manned is, oh, well, you're just saying you yell at them and authoritarian. And it's like, that's not, that is not what you just said. You said, be clear, not yell, not bash people over the head. You don't have to dog people all the time. That's not what we're talking about. It's not good leadership.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
It's not good culture building, but you can have But by simply letting people know what they're responsible for, what they need to do, and how they're going to be judged on their work, just giving people those three simple things will change the entire culture of your organization.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Because I guarantee most of the people listening to this, if you were to go survey, all of your employees cannot give you those three things. Cannot, cannot give you those three things that they have to do in their job. And they get confused and they misunderstand. And you start having HR meetings about tonality and email messages.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
And now your whole business is fucked and you're spending half your time dealing with problems instead of, instead of going out and growing the business. When, what, what, what people, what I feel like so many are missing. And I know this because, because at different times in my life, I've missed this is like, what am I supposed to be doing? You know how many guys I talk to?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
I mean, you know, you know, you do the same thing I do. How many guys do you talk to that? You can, you can see the energy in them. You can see that they're intelligent and talented at something. Right. And you're like, like from your perspective, you see this aura of potential, you know, like around their body. And they're like, But I have no clue what I'm supposed to be doing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Like, I'm working this job. I'm paying the bills. But I really want to do this thing over here. But I don't know if I should. But then I really like doing this thing over here, too. So maybe I should start a business there. Or I watch this TikTok video. And they said I could make a bunch of money in the TikTok shop. So maybe I should start a TikTok.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
And you're like, all of a sudden, you're like, bro, like, pick a fucking lane. You know what I mean? And... You know, that's a very hard thing. How do you when you get someone who who does have ability and drive and like, how do you help them start to harness it? How do people start to know like like they're like, Michael, I believe you like I believe in winning. I believe in get after.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
I'm not sure what game to play. I feel like that's a big part of the problem today is people just simply can't figure out what game they should be playing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
You said a lot of people are complaining that it's difficult to win today. And you think that this is one of the best times to win. Can you break that down for us?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Yeah, I completely agree with that. I think that. I think that. I think there are a lot of people who have never fully given themselves to something. Um, you talk to people, you hear what's going on in their lives. I fell into this job. I started this and ended up here. Uh, I always wanted to be this, but you know, need to make money.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
So I did, you know, I took this job or, uh, you know, I love to golf, but I never golf because I, you know, blah, blah, blah, whatever. And you think about these things, and everyone's got problems in their marriage, and they feel like their kids are disconnected and don't listen to them. And when you ask a simple question, well, have you ever just gone 100% into that thing?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Very, very, very few people will honestly answer that question yes. And... You know, I can't say that, you know, I think it would be disingenuous to say that I've always been 100% focused on the different things in my life. I think you did a good job of outlining that, right? Like you said, the first few years, you weren't the best father.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Then you went and you said, hey, this is gonna become my mission and change that, okay? So I don't, there's no requirement to always be at that level because you have seasons of your life, your life changes, your priorities change, at times your interests change, okay? That being said, If you have never given 100% of yourself to something, then you just simply can't relate.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
It's why I think people struggle so much with particular Elon Musk. I can understand. I'm a big Trump fan, but I can understand logically why someone might not like it. I can logically understand that. I cannot logically wrap my head around the Elon Musk hate. Because you don't have to you could do one chat GPT or one Google search or whatever and see the amount of work that this guy has done.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Right. And the amount of value driving products and services that he like life changing, like societal, like humanity changing products that he has built. And then we're going to say that he's working with Doge to steal our money. He wants access to our financial accounts like that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
When I hear that, when I hear that, that comment about him, that person has never, has never invested themselves as deeply into something as Elon Musk has. So they simply cannot relate. You just, you cannot relate if you've never given a hundred percent of yourself to something. And if you're out there and you have never given a hundred percent, your next thing,
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
thing in life stop listening to this podcast and go just for a month just do something a hundred percent and see how you feel it'll change your entire viewpoint on the world it'll change everything about it and i just i'm shocked at how few people have ever been willing to fully give themselves to a thing
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Yeah, I use it on this show. We use the word harmony. You need to find harmony in your life, right? You do need to have time for your kids. You do need to have time for your spouse. You do need to take time for yourself that could be working out or going for a walk, as you said. But... to me, what you're trying to do is harmonize your life, not balance it. Because harmonies flow, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
If you've ever been in New Orleans and listened to a jazz band, right? Like, the melody, the beat, it changes, but it's always harmonized. It's Always, right? So they're moving, they're adapting, they're morphing, they're picking up tempo, they're reducing tempo. They're moving from, you know, one instrument out front to another. Someone else takes the lead.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
You know, they switch to a different style. Always in harmony. So what I believe that concept allows us to do is say, like... What took me a long time to realize, like, I don't think I really found... I think I operated from a place of passion for most of my life. Until I figured out something that allowed me to find my mission. Which was, I... I do not extract value from my own achievements.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
I don't. Right? I love winning. Love it. Hate losing. Love winning. Wanna win. But... I extract far more joy from giving someone a tactic or an idea or holding someone accountable or just injecting energy into someone so they go out and do that thing and watching their success, others' success. And then once that... set in my brain that like, oh, this is who I, then my mission became easy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Everything I did was about helping people achieve their own success, right? Like, so I had my own insurance agency, been in the industry for 20 years, started in 2020, seven days before COVID hit, right? put all this money in the business, launch it, because surprisingly, launching an insurance agency from scratch is not cheap, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Launch this agency seven days later, entire country gets shut down, right? Whack. Nothing. No one's open. We're watching people in China drop dead on the streets. We think life is over. Who knows what's happening? And... I said from the beginning, my goal for this business is, you know, I had this goal. I wanted to create 20 millionaires out of my business, whatever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
That's just the number I had in my head. I wanted 20 people who weren't related to me to become millionaires because of this business. Now, we didn't end up getting there. That's a different story. But that was the mission, right? So even though we were selling insurance, The mission was I wanted to create the most productive force that's ever been out there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
I wanted these people to print money, not just for me, but for themselves, right? And to feel what that felt like and to really drive growth. And then everything I've done since that moment has been helping others become the best version of them. It's why the newsletter is called Finding Peak. It's why the podcast, it's all about unreasonable outcomes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
The newsletter is obviously about unreasonable outcomes too. Helping unreasonable people achieve unreasonable outcomes. And to do that, it's the stuff you're talking about. It's, you know, we have a philosophy on the show. One of the... Audience members actually created that little wood block back there for the people watching on video. It's got the letters GNF stands for give no fucks, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Like you cannot go through this world and be successful and constantly be thinking, what is he going to think? What is she going to think? What are they going to think? If you get yourself in shape, your drinking buddies are not going to be happy with you, but you will be in shape. and you will have energy, and you will be focused, and you will be able to outwork them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
I used to get asked all the time in a previous version of my life, why do you focus so much on your fitness? I had someone ask me that. Why is that such a priority to you? And I said, because when I sit down to negotiate across the table from someone who is fat, out of shape, doesn't have any, I am gonna bury them with my energy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
I don't care how long they've been in business, I will outlast them, I'll stall them, I'll outwork them, I'll outthink them. I will just simply out everything them from purely a physical fitness standpoint. Like I can sit in this chair and maintain focus longer than you can. And I know it. I know it because your insulin's dropping or your insulin's spiking because you haven't had enough to eat.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
You're jacked up on coffee because you're fucking hungover. Your blood pressure is high, right? Like you're just thinking about your next meal and I'm just waiting you out to find a crack to where I can negotiate my way in, right? And it's like, Thinking about these things through that lens is the only way to get there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Like, just, I'm, dude, it is, it drives me crazy how many people just go through life. They don't experience life. They don't, they don't, They don't push life around. They don't even try to make a dent. They literally just exist. They breathe air. They eat food. They have sex until the day they die, and then they're gone, and they just never did anything. They never fucking got it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
They never had a big loss. Like, okay, you didn't have a big win. You didn't have a big loss. At least that shows you went after something, right? At least it shows that you tried, right? But, like, so few people are willing to fuck.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
I had a guy that I know from around town, good guy, comes up to me and lets me know that he's getting a divorce. And I got divorced three years ago. And, you know, I could tell he was upset about it. It was her decision. And he's a nice enough guy. You know, and I'm just chatting to him, listening to him talk. And, you know, he didn't ask me for anything.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
And I certainly wasn't about to inject my thoughts into his life. I was just letting him speak. But in listening to him, one thing became very clear to me. And, you know, judge me for this thought or not, but I said to myself, I don't blame her. Like, you've given up, dude. Like, you're 40 pounds easily overweight. You dress like a slob. You kind of...
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
don't really do a whole lot you know what i mean like if you're a woman and you you are looking for a partner even an equal partner let alone a protector or uh whatever whatever role whatever role is your however your relationship is set up not trying to judge that right um you're you're none of those things for her like why would she come home like you know and he was bitching about like you know he made a comment about uh his sex life and very sparse and i just was like dude
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
In my head, I'm playing out what I would say to him if he was paying me, if he was a coaching client. But I was like, dude, I would have just said, hey, stand up, turn around, look at yourself in the fucking mirror. Would you bang you? I mean that. Jordan Peterson, I love Jordan Peterson. Jordan Peterson has pulled me out of some deep holes. I'm a big fan of his philosophy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
When he's talking about particularly men in relationships, I think as guys, this, you know, this, this, this, idea that we're discussing infiltrates and corrupts our relationship, particularly with other women or with, with women. Sorry. In so much as like, we feel it's our obligation.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Like, like our wife is obligated to have this connection to us, to give a shit about what we have to say, to have sex with us, to, you know, support. And it's like, how about, and this is Jordan Peterson's take. How about you become the version of the person that,
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
that she should respect and is attracted to physically and wants to support and wants to wonder how your day... If you come in and you're a dick or you're lazy or you're mopey or you have nothing to fucking say or you look like a slob or you're fat or you don't have any...
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
fuck mission like just have a little bit of passion in your body about something right like outside of cracking beers or getting high at the end of the night or stuff in your face and video games god forbid i mean there are people my age who play fucking video games for hours at night like guys i hate to be fucking judgy but like if you have a problem in your life and you play video games at night i can give you one quick thing that's probably gonna help
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
you know what I mean like now if your life is absolutely perfect and everything's fucking amazing and all your relationships are amazing your business amazing and how you unwind is two hours of video games at night hey god bless you but I don't think that's the case for most of the guys that are doing these things and it's like like
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
You get to bitch when you when when you've done the things to put yourself in the position to be successful and she still tells you to go fly a kite. I'll listen to that bitch. Now, you still need to get past it, but I'll listen to the bitch. But I can't listen to a bitch from a guy who's essentially given up and then expects his female to stay with him. Like, you know what I mean?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Like you didn't. You didn't give her a reason. You didn't make her want to stay with you. Like, you had the whole shot. You're the incumbent. Like, just get your shit together. Like, be a little fucking passionate. Go for a jog. Ask her how her day went.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Like, there's some simple things you could do here, but you said it wasn't his mission to be a good husband, and therefore he wasn't, and now he is getting divorced. And it's sad. You don't want to see it. The kid's a real good kid. I hope he doesn't get fucked up from it. But it's like... Dude, you put yourself in this position. And that goes for everything in our lives.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
If you're not happy with business, you can change it. It's there for you guys. Listen to what Michael's saying. How many people have you coached? Thousands, right? It's there for you. I don't care if you're 65 years old. You can change the course of your life. But you've got to, as Michael said, you've got to find this mission. You have to get something and fucking get after it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Just get after something and watch how it changes. Watch how it morphs into the other aspects of your life. It's incredible.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Yeah, I'm going to wrap up our conversation with this idea from Peterson because I think it encapsulates what we've talked about. expanding on your be dangerous thing, you know, he talks about there's no nobility in being kind. There's none. Anyone can be kind. It's easy. It's easy to be kind and soft and kind, kind, or maybe nice, be nice, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
We've been taught that the ultimate virtue is being nice, which is, in my experience, the farthest thing from the truth that exists. What Peterson says, and I found this to be true in my life time and time again, The noble man is the dangerous man who chooses to be kind.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
So when you listen to someone and they are spouting off at you about being aggressive or your masculinity or your tone or your energy, because I get accused all the time of having too much energy, too much energy, too much energy. And it used to bother me. Now I'm just like, go fuck yourself. If you don't like the energy, then just don't hang out with me. That's the way it is. Sorry.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
But, you know, this idea that like, You thinking you need to go through life being nice to everyone in the classic sense is you being noble is absolutely wrong. Unless you can be dangerous. You need to have the propensity for danger. Can you? And I know that in our society today, people look at this and they can't handle it. But it's like, can you throw a fucking punch?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
If you, your wife, and your kid are walking down the sidewalk and someone comes up and threatens you physically, can you even try to defend yourself physically? Right. Do you have the winning business mentality where you can go into a situation and sell something or negotiate someone or convince someone to come work for you? Like, you know, or do you cave?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Do you walk in and say, well, I'm tired today, so I'm going to take the day. That's not a dangerous person. And when you're kind and nice, you are not noble. There's nothing. It's not nobility. Only the dangerous who choose to be kind or noble. And I think this is, I think that is in large part a result of having a mission and getting the fuck after it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Michael, this has been an incredible conversation. I appreciate the hell out of you. For anyone who's listening and wants to get deeper into your world, how do they do that?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Why do you think so many people live in this perpetual state of anxiety and fear and go down these negativity rabbit holes?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous conversation for you today with Michael McLean. Michael is a former professional hockey team owner, took a failing franchise in the junior pro division, turned that franchise around and six years later won the Barkley Cup. He then went on to purchase an insurance business, turned that business around, and
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
turned it into one of the most successful insurance businesses in the United States. He now coaches men to find their power, to become kings, as he says. And we talk not just about
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Yeah, we talk about this all the time. We so my kids play a lot of sports. I coach them in basketball and baseball. And this summer we were driving home from a game and my son, my older son, my younger son was in the car, too. My older son. Um, Mr. Ground ball at shortstop, he plays shortstop and it ended up costing us the run that cost us that in the end of the game costs us the game.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
And, um, he came off the field and, you know, I gave him, Hey, keep your head up. You got to hit, you know, whatever. But he kind of stopped and looked at me and I was like, yeah, you should have fucking had that ball. Like, I knew what he was asking me with his eyes, which was... And he kind of looked and went back in and, you know, did his thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
what that means and why men need to reclaim their lives, but why it's also not just important for the individuals, for the men themselves, but for those they love, for those in their world, for those that they want to take care of, help, support, right? In order to be the best father, we have to be good. In order to be the best spouse, we have to be good as men. And this is a dynamic conversation.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
And after the game, he said, you know, he goes, Dad, how come... He was like, you know, you talk to me differently than other parents. I'm paraphrasing his question, but essentially. And I said, it's because you fucked up. That's a ground ball that you can make, should make, and need to make as a starting shortstop of this baseball team. It's... Not that I expect you to make every play.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
You're 10 years old. That's not what I'm saying. But that was a ball that was in the range of things that you should be able to handle and you didn't handle. And the reason you didn't handle it was because you were lazy to the ball. You didn't get in proper form like we've practiced a thousand times and you tried to, you nonchalanted it. So the lesson is don't fucking nonchalant the easy plays.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Just make them. Get the out. All that matters is the out. Right. Don't you know, you you you felt like it was an easy play. You approached it like an easy play and you got your hat handed to you and it cost the team the game. All right. So he kind of ruminated on that for a second. And then he said, yeah, but how come you're harder on me than other kids?
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
And I said, I said the same exact thing to him. I go, you're not the kids on your team. Some of them might be your friends, but they're not your peers in baseball. You're not competing against them. You're competing against the kid in Puerto Rico who's using a fucking leaf for a glove who would die to play on a real baseball field like you play on. That's who you're competing against.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
I said, and even if you never achieve that level of skill that that kid has, I said,
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
the what i need you to do to win at life is to understand that you only get prizes when you win in real life you only get prizes when you win yet you're you're so much of our it's why we send our kids to catholic school it's why we sent we're sending our kids a private catholic school for high school like is because this idea that you are talking about like Like, I'm in a weird generation.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
So I'm 44 years old, right? And thankfully, I had 20 years with no cell phone. Very, very thankfully that I had 20 years with no cell phone. But then still in development from 20, you know, in the early days, right? I got the world changed to this more like socialist kind of everyone gets a prize kind of thing, right? And I said, dude, I've lived, I've seen both sides of this coin, like,
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
This whole idea that the effort you put in is what matters is nice and a start. But at the end of the day, if you want to achieve, you have to win. And that's what you're trying. And it doesn't matter, baseball, whatever, whatever you do. And you have to get away from this idea that showing up is winning or just trying hard is winning because you can always try harder.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Or like, you know, because you were nice, you won. The universe doesn't give a fuck about any of those things. And it's just so incredible to me.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
Like, I feel like now that Trump is in office and our culture is swung a little bit back to a little bit more living in reality, all of a sudden there's this spotlight on the methodology on this, like, everybody's equal, everyone's the same, everyone deserves a prize mentality is like, you don't have a receipt. Show me the receipt for that mentality where someone is killing it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
If You Can’t Win in 2025, You Can’t Win (and what you should be doing)
That's an honest question to everyone who's listening to this show. If you believe in kind of modern liberal postmodern beliefs or more socialist ideals or whatever, show me a receipt for that methodology producing positive outcomes. That's all I want to see. And then you can tell me that the way that I approach my kids and my life is wrong, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
What if I told you there were six simple habits backed by science, battle tested by the world's top performers that you can implement today to start increasing the amount of resilience you have? Most people think they know how to become resilient, but here's the truth. Most of the advice we've been given about resilience is archaic. It is not built for modern life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
He had built this lifestyle of training incredibly hard, harder than anyone else, but he hadn't built in recovery. And once he did, Kobe Bryant's career took off to a whole nother level. I mean, he was already great at that point, but he went to a whole nother level.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
The CDC reports that individuals who sleep at least seven to eight hours per night are 33% less likely to suffer from burnout and experience a 20% boost in cognitive performance. Ultimately, what they're talking about is willpower. You gotta sleep. You have to. Five, six hours a night once in a while is okay.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
But if you're rocking four, five, six hours of sleep, and it's probably crappy sleep because you're not doing the right things to prep the night before to make sure that you sleep well, your brain doesn't perform the same way. There are very few people who can actually survive on that much sleep. But we convince ourselves that we're one of those people because we don't want to change our lifestyle.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
So how do we build a recovery window? 30 minutes every day to disconnect and recharge. Read a book. Go for a walk. Have a conversation at dinner with no electronics. Take 30 minutes to meditate. Go to the gym. Disconnect.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
recharge this is particularly important right before bed if you can put this practice in right before bed whether it's reading a book meditating just having quiet time sitting at a table and talking to your spouse your partner your kids and just having a conversation if you can disconnect
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
and recharge your body leading into sleep for 30 minutes you will sleep better you will sleep longer and you will have an just an incredible boost of energy the next day when you wake up there's this story from anthony robles i don't know if you've seen this there's a new movie it's out on prime you can download it or rent it whatever it's called unstoppable and it's a biographical film on this guy anthony robles he was a wrestler and he was born without his right leg
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
Now, this dude does not have a right leg. Not lost his leg, never had a leg. Yet, he went on to become the NCAA Division I Wrestling Championship at the 125-pound weight class. And he's legendary. He didn't just win one championship. He wrestled for Arizona State. And while this dude had everyone... Everyone pushing against him when he first got in the game and was first trying to come up.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
His work ethic, his commitment, his resilience pushed him through those barriers where he achieved a 96-0 record. He's two-time Arizona State Championship. He had a high school national championship and then won the NCAA Division I Wrestling Championship at 125 pounds. It's incredible. Talk about resilience. He is competing with one less appendage than everyone else.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
He's got three quotes when I was researching this dude because I saw the movie. The movie's great. And, you know, he's got these three quotes that I found when I was really digging into the research on him. And this dude is just incredible. I highly recommend you look into his story. Watch the movie, if nothing else. But these three quotes I wanted to share with you guys.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
When you can't change a situation, you can only change how you respond to it. Very stoic idea. The easiest thing to do when faced with adversity is to give up. But pushing through it is what makes you stronger. I mean, think about that. This dude is going up against people with two legs and two arms, and he's got one leg and two arms.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
And he's trying to compete at the same level and not just competing, he's dominating them, right? It was the adversity that made him stronger that allowed him to be the best. Your greatest disability is not what's missing, but what you tell yourself you can't do. Incredible. Absolutely freaking incredible.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
One of my favorites, this third quote, your greatest disability is not what's missing, but what you tell yourself you can't do. is officially now on like my all time quote board that I will probably be quoting over and over and over again because it couldn't be more true.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous episode for you today, a deep dive into six resilience building habits that I promise you are easy to adopt. If you enjoy this channel, I appreciate you being here. I'd love you to like, subscribe. Leave a review, whether you're watching on YouTube or listening on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
We are limited by what we, but the narratives, the stories that we create in our mind, not by what's in front of us because everybody's got stuff in front of them. If you're feeling down on yourself, if you're in doubt and shame, if you're feeling like the world is against you, understand that is how everyone feels. That is the experience that everyone has in their own way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
They are faced with constant obstacles and it feels like the world is constantly against them. The best, the successful, they change the narrative. Even if it's true, they change the narrative in their head. They're optimists. They create little micro habits that allow them to push forward. And they're resilient through all the crap that life is going to put in front of you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
None of us are alone and having to deal with crap, myself included. But it's how we respond to it. It's the story that we tell ourselves that matters. So, guys, resilience is a skill. It's not a superpower. You're not born resilient. You develop resilience. You build resilience. You cultivate resilience. It's a skill. And if you start small and you adopt just one of these habits today,
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
I guarantee you're going to feel better. You're going to start to have less stress hormone working through your body, more positive hormones and chemicals like endorphins pumping through your body. You're going to be more cognitively aware. Your energy is going to lift. And those moments where you felt tired or doubt or fear,
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
You're going to push through them in ways that you didn't even know you were capable of. And it starts with one of these habits. Just pick one and put it into practice. Tell me the habit that you're going to put in the practice, either in the comments or leave a review on Apple, Spotify, whatever. I read them all. Let me know which habit you're going to pick up and why you're going to pick it up.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
What is the resilience-building habit that's going to change your life? I want to know. Guys, I love you for listening to this show. I want you to be resilient. I want to be resilient. Let's work on pushing forward and building these resilience habits in our lives. Together, this is the way, my friends.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
Guys, I love you for being here. It is such an honor to continue to put on this show. Watch it grow with time. Thank you. I love you. And here's to another year, 2025, of getting after it with this show and getting better. All right? We are here to defy ordinary and become the civilized savages that we were born to be.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
All right, with that, let's get into our first resilience building habit, and that's optimism. We have to practice optimism, right? Optimism isn't about ignoring reality. It's about controlling your focus. And this is something that pessimistic people miss, right? Pessimistic people tend to think they're smarter or better or more astute.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
than others because they see all the little nuanced difficulties and they call them out and this won't work for this reason. And look how smart I am. And it's all bullshit. Stay as far away from pessimistic people as you possibly can. We must live in reality, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
When I'm talking about creating utopian optimism where everything's going to be okay, regardless of, you know, the challenges that were presented with. But to be pessimistic about those challenges adds zero value beyond your own selfish, egotistical need to be right and to feel smart. Practice optimism.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
Optimists are 40% less likely to experience cardiovascular events and live an average of 11 to 15% longer than pessimists. I mean, just think about that. Optimists tend to live in a perpetual positive state. Doesn't mean every moment of their lives is positive, but they tend to view the world through good, through positivity, through growth. Right. Where pessimists tend to focus on the negative.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
Right. They tend to be more depressed. There's no reason to be a pessimist. It's just silly. So what can we do here? We can start each day by asking ourselves, what's one thing I can control today to make my life better? Right. You can control your time. You can control your attention and your focus. You can control who you talk to. You can control the projects you work on.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
You can control the hobbies or the extracurriculars that you engage in that add either fitness benefits or mental health benefits or relational benefits between you and your community, your family, whoever, right? What's one thing I can control that I am going to focus on That's going to help make my life better today. What's that one thing I can grab onto?
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
We need simple, straightforward habits that we can implement into our lives that will allow us to maximize resilience. our ability to push through hard times. Resilience isn't built in calm waters. It's forged in the storm. Or put more succinctly, there's an African proverb, smooth seas do not create skilled sailors. We must make adversity, challenge part of our lives.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
Because we all find ourselves in storms at different times, and it's easy to go down the pessimistic road. But the more you can hold on to that optimistic path, the better your life is going to be. Winston Churchill has a great quote on this. A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill was kind of a gangster.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
All right. Resilience building habit number two, micro gratitude and putting a micro gratitude practice in place. So let's talk about both gratitude and what it means to have a micro gratitude practice. Gratitude rewires our brain. When we take a moment to show appreciation and gratitude for even the small things in our life, our brain sees these as opportunities instead of threats.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
It's very difficult to have fear for tomorrow when you're grateful for today. I'm going to say that again. It is very difficult. to have fear for tomorrow when you're grateful for today.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
There's a study that came out from the University of California at Davis, and it found people who wrote down daily gratitudes experienced a 23% reduction in cortisol levels, which meant that they were able to manage stress and energy better than their peers who did not practice. who did not write down things that they're grateful for on a day-to-day basis.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
So we can make this super easy either before bed or when you wake up in the morning, you're having your cup of coffee. I like the morning personally to write little notes down. You know, I have a journal. I don't necessarily journal, like write out full pages. Sometimes I just write down thoughts, you know, whatever's most pertinent on my brain. And I try to write down at least one, but
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
two or three, if I can, things that come to my brain that I'm grateful for today. What am I grateful for right now? You're drinking that cup of coffee. This takes two, three minutes, five minutes tops while you're sitting there. And I'm sure you can find five minutes in your morning. But if you do this right, you are rewiring your brain to reduce stress chemicals and
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
and hormones, as well as position yourself for a optimistic, positive outlook on the day. Because if you've already shown gratitude for something, which naturally reduces your stress in your body when you get to work or you get to whatever you have to do that day, one, you're less stressed. Two, you're approaching it immediately from an optimistic, positive standpoint.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
Absolutely incredible practice, right? Melody Beatty has a quote on this. Gratitude turns what we have into enough. And for those ambitious out there, the ambitious people who are listening to this, oftentimes the word enough comes with a lot of negative connotations.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
And I would encourage you to understand that it's really finding harmony in our belief that we are enough with a focus on getting better. Because if you don't believe you're enough, then doubt, shame, regret, a lot of negative feelings will fill you if you don't feel like you're enough in the moment.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
However, if we rest on enough and we never get better, then ultimately we find ourselves stagnated, which we ultimately don't want as well. And this is a whole nother podcast on how we balance these things and you know, find that harmony in our life between being enough and wanting more.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
But gratitude is huge for understanding that you are enough right now, even if you do want to put yourself in a better place in the future. All right. Resilience building habit number three. Physical strength for mental strength. A strong body supports a strong mind. This one is probably beat up by every fitness guru, thought leader, health guy, gal out there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
However, it is absolutely positively true. If you want to get better in the next 60 seconds, hit pause on this video or pause on this recording wherever you are. If you're sitting down in a chair, get up out of the chair, get down on the ground and do 10 pushups. Just do 10 solid pushups. Do five pushups. If you got to do them from your knees, do them from your knees.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
You do 10 pushups right now and stand back up. You will immediately feel better. Immediately, whatever's going wrong, just do 10 pushups. If you can't do pushups, right? Just do air squats. Just stand up wherever you are. You're already standing, right? As long as you're not in a place where this would, you know, get you physically injured, right? Just do 10 air squats.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
You will immediately feel better. Now, that's not enough for a lifetime, but it's a start. And if you're having a bad day, I literally sometimes when like stuff is hectic and going crazy and like I'm just flustered and maybe overwhelmed by the amount of work or something didn't go the way I wanted to or I can't figure out something with a project I'm working on.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
But if we're going to do that, if we're going to allow ourselves to be forged in the fires of challenge, we must be resilient. The question is, when you do, will you keep moving forward? So if you'll stick with me today, I'm not only going to show you six habits to build resistance.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
I will often just drop down and do 20 pushups just to just to reset my brain. drops some endorphins into your system, reduces your cortisol levels, and all of a sudden you feel better, your mind opens up, your stress has been reduced, your positive mood, endorphins create a positive mood in your brain. So now even if it's the smallest little bit, it can correct the path that you're on.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
If you're going down a path of negativity, just some simple physical exercise, and I'm not I'm talking about even a full workout can drastically change the course of your day. Harvard research revealed that regular exercise reduced the symptoms of depression by 26%. And frankly, I'll tell you, it's probably much larger than that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
In my own experience, anyone I know who's been down a path of depression or just having depressed feelings, negative feelings, you hit the gym for a couple of days in a row and they just not there. It doesn't mean you're never going to feel depressed, but it drastically reshapes the chemical balance inside your brain. It's just an absolute must.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
And this can be, you know, like I said, this could be 20 pushups, 10 pushups. This could be doing some air squats. It'd be going for a 15 minute walk in between conference calls. And, you know, frankly, a 15 minute walk is great. I'd go out and get a ruck vest.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
know weighted plate vest i wear a 40 pound vest i put a 20 pound plate in the front 20 pound plate in the back go for a half hour walk you come back you're working a lot of your stabilizer muscles you're getting a much better workout than if you just go walking regular you're building a lot of strength in your legs strengthen your back and your knees and your ankles and it's a wonderful way to get exercise and then just go from there if that's where you have to start start there and then just go for longer walks and mix in a run i would
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
Highly recommend that you push or pull weights, some sort of iron, go push or pull something, right? Squats, presses, deadlifts if you're feeling super froggy. That's my favorite exercise is deadlift. So physical strength is paramount to mental strength.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
It's very difficult to maintain strong sense of resilience and the willpower necessary to fuel resilience if you're not physically active and particularly physically strong. Resilience building habit number four, embrace the power of yet. Adopting a growth mindset. will turn setbacks into opportunities, right? Just, it's a complete reframe in your brain.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
If you go back in a past episodes, you'll hear, we talked about a lot of different reframes, right? This power of yet is a huge reframe for your brain, right? So in Carol Dweck's book mindset, she has research on what a growth mindset is versus a fixed mindset, right? And students who embrace the word yet improve their academic performance by up to 50%
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
compared to those that operated with a fixed mindset. So what does this mean? The mindset reframe of yet, right? So yet, Y-E-T, is as simple as replacing I can't do this with I can't do this yet. So... Think about the various projects, various things you want to improve in your life, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
I'm going to reveal why they work and how you can change your life faster than you think with just by implementing one of these six habits. And one of these habits that we're going to discuss today is commonly overlooked by top performers and is likely the reason why their success comes at such a high cost.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
It is very easy to look at where we currently are, you know, swing our head back and forth, look at our peers, look at people that are out in front of us and go, I'm never going to be able to get to where they are. I'll never get there. I can't do it. Versus looking around at all these people, understanding where you want to go, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
Finding someone whose path or skills you want to mirror or mimic and saying, I can't do this yet. I can't do it yet. Someday I'll be able to do that thing. But I can't do it yet. That's it. I'm just not there yet. Not I can't do this. Not I'll never. I'm not that kind of person. I wasn't born with that skill. I just can't do it yet. Simple reframe changes everything.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
And Michael Jordan's got one of the quotes on this particular topic. I failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. Because he just hadn't won his first championship yet. He just hadn't won his second championship yet. And on and on, right? He just hadn't won a scoring title yet. He just hadn't been defensive player of the year yet.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
And then he worked on those things and got better and better. Everybody picks up the story of when Michael Jordan and the Bills won their first NBA championship. But he played for six years before the Bulls won their first championship. And we often forget about those six years. We look at the six successful years, but how did he get there?
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
He got there through the work that it took in the first six years. Without the first six years, he never gets the six championships. He just wasn't there yet. Powerful, powerful reframe. That's huge. Resilience habit number five. Cultivate a network of resilient people. Resilience is contagious.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
If you surround yourself with people who embody and inspire you to be resilient and to persevere, you will naturally mimic their behavior. A UCLA study shows that strong social support, particularly for challenging skills and mindsets, reduces the impact of stress by 50%. right? And we talked about 2025 is all about energy management. Stress is an energy killer, killer.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
So this one's really simple. Just set a weekly reminder to reach out to the people that inspire you. That's it. This is super easy. I told you these are easy. Nothing about these are overwhelming. Nothing about these habits are something that you don't have access to or that you have to buy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
They're just little micro tasks that you can do throughout your day, throughout your week, throughout your month, throughout your year that will drastically improve your ability to be resilient through challenges. Quote here is from Jim Rohn. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. We've heard it a thousand times. It continues to be true. Continues to be true.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
And probably will be forever. All right, success habit number six, my friends. Here we are. Learn to rest, not to quit. Train yourself to rest, not to quit. Resilience isn't about never stopping. It's about knowing when to recover. And this was something that I actually learned through some documentaries and things that I've read around Kobe Bryant.
The Ryan Hanley Show
6 Resilience Building Habits that are Easy to Adopt - Ryan Hanley
And how when Michael Jordan referred his trainer, Tim Grover, who's written two amazing books, Relentless and Winning, highly recommend both of those. When Tim Grover was referred from Michael Jordan to Kobe Bryant, one of the first things that Tim Grover did was install a recovery program for Kobe because he trained him. so hard naturally, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. Today, we are joined by Kathleen Cameron, the world's top manifestation mentor. She is the creator of the Diamond Academy, where she's generated over 30 million in sales in under four years, helping thousands Thousands of people transform their lives from her innovative manifestation and awareness approach, the art of expansion.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
There's one more thing that you said that I'd just like to define before we move further, which is you kind of threw it out there as a throwaway comment. But I think the audience and myself are very interested in this idea that time isn't real. You said time isn't real. Can you break that down in the concept for us so we can get our hands around it?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And I know we're going a little deep. No, I love it. And actually there's an experiment that was done – mid-1900s, and I'm going to forget the guy's name. He was a European psychologist. And what he did was lock himself in a cave that was pitch dark for, I want to say, six months. And they had him journal throughout the entire time. So he had no sense of the sun coming up or sun coming down.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
He was completely isolated in this cave. And he would journal. And what they found was is the longer time went, the more disconnected he became from time. And he had thought, he was off by, I think, like, and I'm going to fudge the numbers guys. So please just go look up this story. You can Google it. It's, it's, it's, it's very available online.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Kathleen, thanks so much for taking the time today to share with us. How's your day going? What's going on? It's a beautiful day. Just getting started. I'm on Pacific Standard Time, so it's bright and early for me. Oh, wow. Well, good for you for coming in, and you're shiny and energetic, and I love it. Not everyone's as glossy this early in the morning, so good for you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
But, um, essentially he was like, after six months, he was almost a month off. He was like 20 something days off of what he believed the time was and when he was. And, and, and he did a bunch more experience on this that all kind of show that time is, we, we perceive time, but we don't necessarily experience time. If that makes sense. Like it's, it's,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
We have set up constructs to to to perceive what's happening in the etc. However, our bodies don't actually understand or relate to it. It's just as we conceptualize it in our head.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Yeah, I think that's a wonderful point. It's funny. We set these goals for ourselves. And I work with a lot of CEOs and entrepreneurs, early stage founders, coach them. And there's a lot of them that listen to the show. And they set goals, six months, a year long, whatever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And what's funny is, to your point, if they're off pace for that goal, they will have all this negative emotion and panic and anxiety. And it's like... What if I told you when you started that you would absolutely 100% guaranteed hit that number, but it would take nine months instead of sticks. Would you sign up for that? A hundred out of a hundred would say yes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Yet we're putting all this pressure on this time moment, right? Like it's such a great point as it applies to businesses. Like, well, if you just move the time out a little bit and, and, or, or, you know, it all makes sense when we went, that's that idea that like everything makes sense in reverse, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Like as we're going through it, we put all this pressure, these emotions and listen, all these voices. Yet when we look back, everything we do makes complete and utter sense, whether it's good or it's bad. And, you know, so where I want to frame this question is you use the term self-awareness, awareness a lot. And I find that most individuals who are struggling with.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
with some form of achievement, whatever that looks like for him, however they frame achievement, there is a core lack of self-awareness and awareness that is really the rub for why they're not where they want to be. So how do we, and this is such a, it's a hard thing for me to do, that's why I'm so excited to have you on the show, is like, how do we start to become more aware?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
How do we build awareness into our daily lives so we can actually make decisions based on reality, based on the present moment instead of these like constructs that we build in our head.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Yeah, because I saw you're Ontario and Malibu, huh? So those are two pretty different places in the Northern Hemisphere here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
I think. our ego, our ego is funny, right? Like we, we prioritize, we prioritize the thoughts that hit it. But then I know when people hear you say you're the most self-aware woman that's ever existed, there's a part of them that goes like, I can't say that that's egotistical, right? That's, that's being braggy, right? Like that's, that's in, in,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
You know, and then it's like all of a sudden they flip from I want to dominate the world to then, well, I can't say that. I'm not that thing yet. How can she say that? What stats does she have to show that she is that thing? Like, how do you get past that part of the negative self-talk, which is the opposite, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
We have all this negativity over here, and then we start to tell ourselves that we're amazing and we're going to be this, and then this other voice creeps in, well, you can't. You can't say that. You haven't earned that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Yeah. And, you know, we talked a lot before we went live about imagination, perspective and these kind of things. And changing environment tends to do that. It tends to open your eyes, especially when you have stark contrast. You frame things differently, see them from different angles. Have you found that?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
I love it because one of the things that I teach is detach from the outcome. One of the primary messages that I work with, whether it's a startup founder, entrepreneur, even some high-level salespeople that will come to me, after we do some base kind of work, which I find it's funny.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
So even coming at it from the angle that I come, which is very business-focused, usually growth, sales, revenue, et cetera, I'll ask them, like, why do you want this? Not why did you start the company? Not what are you doing? Not what are your goals? But why do you want this thing? It is amazing the amount of people who do not have an answer off the tip of their tongue to that question, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
They have not actually done the self-awareness work. They haven't spent the time to actually... They're just like, I have an idea for a company or... Here's a product market fit. Or I went to business school and did a regression analysis and saw there's an opportunity. You mean like whatever they get into it for these reasons. But like, do you actually want the startup life?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
If you want the startup life, like what version of the startup life do you want? Because there's a million different versions of that. And we don't take this time, which I think is so incredibly important. And I want to just kind of double click into an idea that you shared and share my own experience on this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
I use prayer and journaling as two of the primary tools to connect myself with the vibe, the vibration to use your term. I wouldn't probably naturally use that term, but I think it's a wonderful term for, for the vibration that is maybe, um, like at my core, my, my, my truth, et cetera.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And I find every time I go away from those tools, comparison comes into my life. Negative self-talk starts to play a bigger role. I lose my willpower, my discipline, and I become this version of myself that, as you said, starts staring in the mirror going, okay, you're a loser, you know, you're off the track.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
You're not, you know, living to your, and then, and it's, it's funny how like, and take, take prayer or take journaling as just tools to this, the idea of just giving your mind the ability, like just, just giving it space, like going for a walk without any AirPods, right? Just, just, just walking. God forbid. An awareness walk.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Yeah, like the thoughts that creep into your head after 10, 15, 20 minutes, you're like, where did that come from? I didn't even know that idea was in my brain. Like, because we just don't give ourselves space. So, you know, I wrote down, you know, Kathleen, like, But if I'm not busy, then I'm not valuable, right? Like this idea of we have to be busy. We have to be working.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
If I'm not grinding and posting every moment on social media, then somehow I'm not valuable to the world. I want to frame that in this idea of surrender, because to me, what you're asking for is kind of a spiritual surrender to the way our universe or however you want to describe it works.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
What are some ideas or questions that we can ask ourselves for those busy entrepreneurs, those busy founders listening who are just go, go, go, calendar filled? What can they ask themselves to find places where they can kind of surrender to their own mind and start to do some of the things that you coach?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Yeah, look at all the things I'm doing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
When they push back, what's the primary pushback that you get on that idea for the people that don't just immediately buy in?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Yeah, it's funny. I travel a lot for work, too. I do a lot of speaking and different things. And when you're so used to being on the road and like figuring things out and, you know, you have what you need, but, you know, not a thing more because you understand the cost of bringing stuff that you don't need when you travel, all those kind of things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
How do you marry the ideas of ambition and surrender? Because a lot of times when you talk to people who are in this, just, you know, you look at their calendars and, you know, like you said, you work with CEOs. And they open up their calendar and it's like 15 hours of blocked meetings.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And you're like, how does your, like, I know that by meeting four, having lived this life and been a CEO multiple times and started my own company, like I know by meeting four, you're working on like 20% capacity. So this day is insane. And then the same pushback, right? Well, I got to get ahead and I got to hear and here's our quarterly goal.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And when you ask, I find that people seem to think if they, using your term surrender, if they have these moments of surrender, that somehow that can't marry to ambition. And I think we both know that that's not, that actually it's the opposite, right? That the people who build more space into their lives often are able to go further.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
But so many people, they just struggle with that idea that somehow they're giving up on their ambitions if they meditate. Right. Like how do we how do we get past that idea?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And navigating the inevitable, you know, challenges, setbacks, delays that happen with that lifestyle. And then you travel with someone who doesn't travel very often and how frustrating flustered, confused, upset they get at even like the smallest hiccups in that process. And like, for me, I'm like, it literally just blows right past my face.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Yeah. To me, this this hard work equals success concept is really rooted in insecurity. And because they don't believe because they haven't done the work, because they're not practicing positive self-talk or spending time in in their own thoughts that they they replace like success is success. Right. How you get there doesn't matter. Like it's success is success. Hard work is not success.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
You could you know, I mean, my dad was an incredibly hard worker. He was a laborer for the railroad. He made thirty five thousand dollars a year. You know, he was not successful, but he was an incredibly hard worker. Right. So like my first job out of college, I made double the most that my dad had ever made in his life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Right now, because I had this amazing job, but because he just worked all, you know, just grinded his body into nothing, you know, banging 200 pound wrenches against against Amtrak train all day and, you know, worked really hard, but didn't didn't really make any money, didn't really, you know, get that level of success.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And I think it's just a beautiful concept that comes out of this insecurity that somehow, you know, we don't we set a goal for ourselves and then we never actually believe we're going to get there. And it's just bewildering to me that... I shouldn't say bewildering because I've been there. I shouldn't say it. I'll take that comment back.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
It is sad to me that that still exists considering how many amazing people are out here like yourself sharing these messages that we still have people who haven't come across it. Because I think anyone who listens to this, there's absolutely no way at the end of this, they're not at least going to give consideration to the idea that I need to build more space into my life, right? So...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Now, for those of you who look at the topic of manifestation and think that it's ethereal, it's fluffy, it's hippie-ish, whatever you want to frame it as, I have to tell you that I'm an enormous believer in our spirit's impact on our day-to-day success, and that goes as much for business as any other aspect.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
It's just getting this message out to more people and letting them know that, man, don't wear 15 hours of work as a badge of honor unless now, granted, there's seasons in your life. I want to be clear with everyone. There are moments, there are seasons where, you know, a three day sprint, a two week sprint where you just have to get after it for whatever reason.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And that's OK as long as it's framed as what it is and it doesn't become it doesn't take over your life. Is that you agree with that?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
You be, you're like, okay, this is when I read my book when we have a 20 minute delay or whatever. And you know, they, you know, they have a really hard time doing this and it's that exposure to, to, It's just the more exposure you get, the more you're able to put things in perspective.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
So tactically, are you visualizing yourself at the place where the goal is already achieved and you're already that person and you're already, you know, you're holding up the trophy and, you know, whatever, whatever, you know, again, whatever the picture is for Google.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
But like you're actually you're actually taking your mind and pushing it out and saying this is what that moment looks like when I hit that thing that I want to do. And I've already done it. It's already happened. And now I just I'm already the person because I know I'm going to get there. Like, is that kind of tactically?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And oftentimes that's where I get some of my best ideas is in those moments of challenge when you're just kind of sitting there, maybe in silence.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Yeah, I have a very recent real-life example of this. I did a TEDx talk last month, first one. And I've done 350-plus keynotes in my career over the last 15 years. So I don't get stage anxiety anymore. Energy, anxiousness to perform, but not necessarily anxiety. It was like it was my first time all over again. Something about the format, my style, I tend to be more...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
contextual as you can say I do kind of the weave in the way that I speak and it works really well in a 45 minute to hour long keynote because I can watch the audience and I can kind of work in different stories and etc in a TED talk you have 17 minutes if you go past 18 you're not going to make the docket so you really got to be in that 15 to 17 range it's one idea it's hard hitting you're on this dot in the middle of this you know there's a lot it's a different format okay so I am I'm
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
A wreck, just an absolute wreck. And I'm like, what is, like, I almost couldn't even figure out what was wrong with me because I'm so not used to being anxious about these things. And what I was doing was projecting out. You're going to fumble this line. Why can't you remember this transition from here to here? You know, this slide doesn't really make sense. You're going to mess it up.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Like, make sure, you know, and I'm just projecting all this stuff. And then. And then, so I'm pacing. This is all the way up until an hour before I'm supposed to go on stage. I'm literally pacing in the lobby, reading my notes as if the 10,000th time reading them is going to somehow ingrain it in my brain. And I sat down on a bench, and I have a very good buddy. His name is Chris Klein.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
He lives about an hour away. He came to watch me do my thing, and he sat down on the bench next to me, and he's talking, and I shared basically what I'm sharing with you now. I shared with him. And he just looked at me, and he goes... Dude, you're going to fucking crush it. And like something about that, my brain like couldn't not visualize walking off the stage, having just crushed it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And it was like everything went away. Anxiety went away. Stress went away. Fear went away. Anxiousness went away. And then for that last hour, you know, you know, talking to him a little more, whatever. The only picture that I had in my head was how good it was going to feel to walk off the stage and feel like I nailed this thing that I'd worked so hard on.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And it was, it changed the experience simply by reframing what I was projecting in my mind. And it's like, it's everything we've talked about today. You know, it just, this shit is real, guys. Like, I hope that you're not out there going, oh, you know, I get it, I hear it, but energy, blah. This shit is absolutely 100% real, whether you believe in it or not, it's real.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And you can either choose to use it as a tool and tap into what Kathleen is teaching and her work, Or you can just decide not to leverage a tool that's literally sitting in your tool belt that everyone has.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Kathleen, this has been an amazing conversation. I appreciate the hell out of you. For those who are listening that want to go deeper into your world, you know, start to engage with your work, where should they go? And guys, so you know anything that Kathleen mentions, description or show notes, whatever, just scroll down. I'll have links to everything. But where should they go?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Awesome. Well, thank you so much for spending time with us and I wish you nothing but the best.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Do you ever have moments where you yearn for the routine of just knowing what's going to happen the next day? And, you know, I tend to teeter. Like, if I have too much travel, too much change, like, you know, and too much is relative, right, for what's going on. But I'll have these moments where I'm like, geez, I wish... You know, I wish I just knew tomorrow what was going to happen.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Like, you know, these are the things that are going to happen and whatever. And I didn't have to like be navigating all these moments throughout the day. And that tends to be a fleeting thought. So I agree with you. But do you ever have that where like you maybe you get so far out in pushing in the ambition side of your life and the journey that you're kind of like.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
You mentioned your awakening. Manifestation is a huge, enormous part of your life and your work. I found in having as many, you know, this is like episode 330 something. I've had all these incredible leaders. And I find that manifestation is kind of a polarizing topic. People are either like, this changed my life. I believe, you know, blah, blah, blah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And tools like manifestation, surrender, et cetera, are paramount to maximizing our output. And we address the topics of hard work does not equal success, why we get caught in busy and how to break free, and why the absolute highest performers in every industry build surrender time into their days.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
I have to, you know, whether they use, whether they. journal to get there or they meditate or or they're like, not that's bullshit. Like life just happens. Push hard, work hard, grind. You know, I mean, like there's this really polarizing aspect to it. So maybe you could break down maybe what exactly manifestation is as it pertains to you, your vision and what you teach.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And then, you know, I want to get into this topic and really dissect for the audience and really for the nonbelievers. I am, to be honest with you, and a convert. I wasn't for a very long time. But I'm very interested in how we start to awaken people the way that you were.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
There's a lot to dig in there. Have you ever read The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer? Of course I have. Oh, gosh. Beautiful book. That was a big part of my path in becoming much more in touch with my own spirituality. And, you know, I don't want to say I'm as far down the path as you because I don't think that I am. However, I feel like I'm on the same journey.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
And that book was... I mean, it's probably... top three mentions on this podcast is that book because this idea and you've mentioned it multiple times and this is really where I'd like you to dig in this this idea that we are not our mind we are not our body we are this we are the soul or the spirit or you know however you want to frame this energy
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
outside of the physical structure that it occupies on this plane right and I've always struggled because of my past and different things that the voices right you're not good enough you're not you didn't come from the right part of town your parents didn't teach you the right lessons you're too old you know but all these things that are constantly running in your head and for so long I
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
I fought them, but I, let me say that I didn't believe them because I fought against it, but I thought they were real. You know what I mean? Like, if that makes sense, like I thought they were real thoughts and I was fighting against them. And when I read that book, I went, wait a minute. Those voices are not real. It's the resistance, if we're talking about Steven Pressfield.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
If you're looking to achieve, if you're a CEO, an entrepreneur, a founder, a salesperson, if you are an ambitious individual, This is the contrarian, the counterintuitive approach to optimizing your success. And I promise you, you do not want to miss this episode. Let's get on to Kathleen Cameron.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
It's my mind, the physical structure of my mind, trying to keep my body alive for the next second, the next second, the next second, with no perception of what the future could hold if you're able to work past those thoughts. And man, that concept was, it was like everything I had thought but couldn't put words to
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
all of a sudden I had the playbook and it, man, it was, what a life-changing experience reading that book was.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Is Manifestation a HOAX? ft. Kathleen Cameron
Could you briefly just break down the law of attraction for people? Because I'm sure they've heard it and they may have heard versions, but I'd love to have you break it down for us.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous conversation for you today with John Azaroff, New York Times bestselling author, five multi-million dollar businesses, coached millions of people across the globe on how to change their brain to change their income. You are gonna love this conversation.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
Like when you're working with someone and maybe breaking down what's going on with them, How do we start to become aware of the things that we tell ourselves that keep us from where we want to go?
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
So I want to give you a personal case study on this. I spent a lot of time thinking about, you know, trying to developing my mindset where I mean, this conversation is this is like ecstasy to me. I like it. I could literally listen. You talk about these topics all day and I love how nerdy you're getting. It's amazing. And I know the audience and they love it, too.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
So never feel like going deep on these topics is wrong.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
Completely agree. I completely agree. I like to position the questions at a shallow level because I think that allows you to draw in the way you want. But man, I love it. I love it. So that all being said, and I'll tell you, giving you an example of training, right? So I was trained and I've learned this as I've gone, fairly poorly when it comes to money.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
Early in my life, I was trained by my parents. Parents are great parents, but my money training, my relationship to money was, you know, looking back on it as an adult now, was very poor, right? It was just, it was really that everything was limiting. It was always, we'll never have enough. You'll never break free. You come from this tiny little town, you know, who are you?
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
You know, my parents were living the best life they could. I mean, from where they came to where they got was amazing. But for me trying to get to the next level, it was, you know, basically starting with in the negative, right? In terms of mindset. Okay. So what's been very interesting to me and what you just said is I've had physical issues, relational issues, all these different things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
And through most of them, I was able to persevere, continue with a strong mindset, keep my good habits. Okay. And then recently I had an issue where exited a company and then tried a couple of businesses. Those businesses didn't work, you know, or just the ideas didn't end up being what I wanted to be, et cetera. So I had this like six or nine month period where all of a sudden,
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
No, no real income or certainly not the income I was used to was coming in. Right. And not that I was going broke or whatever, but like all of a sudden I had financial pressure for the first time in a very, very long time. And it was like watching all these houses of cards crumble down outside of just the finance. It wasn't like I just experienced this in the financial space.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
It was like all of a sudden my physical fitness went away and I stopped being as present a father. And I looked around and I've corrected a lot of these things, but I looked around and I was like, oh my God, like this one pressure that I did not have a good base of mentality for, mindset for, It didn't just stay in that compartment. It spread out throughout my entire life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
And now all of a sudden I have bad habits across the board. Maybe explain how that happens. Is that experience a common experience? Like, how does that work?
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
Love it. I watched like nine, the first nine seasons. I think I watched every episode.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
I actually don't know the answer to that. Probably not.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
See, I love how deep you go into the neuromechanics of it and the neuroscience because I think like probably everyone listening, probably like yourself at a certain time, right? We've lived that shallow version of personal development, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
Where we're just looking at the tactics of things that successful people do and trying to mimic them without an understanding of why we're doing these things, the impact of them, why our brain... or body tells us to not do that thing that we ultimately know could be good for us, right? And a book that opened me up, my personal development journey really began in 2017. I'm going to tell the story.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
I had a health moment. It opened my eyes to the fact that I was basically living on a whim, you know, just things happened to me or didn't happen to me. And I was like, well, I'm a hard worker, so everything will be okay. And Obviously, that's not always the case. And a book that opened me to this was Michael Singer's The Untethered Soul. Great book.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
I've always had this idea that God puts us into this body with a max level of potential, right? A completely uninhibited version of you that does the thing you were meant to be here for in the truest sense of what it is. And our goal through all the challenges and obstacles that life presents us with is to get as close to that version of us as we can possibly be.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
And for a long time, what I struggled with was But my brain tells me this or my body. I'm hearing this voice in my head that's saying, Ryan, you came from a shitty little town where you could leave the doors open at night because the criminals live there. They didn't steal from there. And who are you? You've never had money. You don't know anybody on Bible, Bible, all this stuff. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
And when I read that book and I and I and I got this understanding. And for those that haven't read it yet. very shallow, high-level version is you are not your body, you are not your mind, you are your soul, and that voice in your head is not you, right? They're inputs, but they're not who you are. And when I grabbed onto that idea and I said, wait a minute,
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
I don't have to listen to that voice that tells me that it's a Tuesday and I had a tough day so I need to pour myself a cocktail or I don't need to listen to that voice that tells me that, you know, my wife is giving me shit and doesn't appreciate me and doesn't understand me because she had a bad day and snipes at me when I got home. Like, you know what I mean?
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
If you are about personal development, if you are about getting better, becoming the best version of yourself, This is going to be one of the most impactful conversations you've ever heard in your life. And when you're done listening to this conversation, I hope you dig into John's work.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
Like, all of a sudden I started to go, wait a minute, I don't have to be that version of me. I didn't know how to do the things that you know how to program to do. But it was like, all of a sudden, I got... exposed to this concept. And I guess my question to you, and I, and I would love for you to break down at least one or two before we finish here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
I know we're coming up a number of the deconstructive ideas, but like the reason I started this show was exposure. I just wanted to expose myself and others to the ideas that you're talking about, because I've found through, through his positive ideas,
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
exposure as I've been able to get my world has just expanded and there's more love in it and there's more optimism and there's more energy and more connection because you start to get exposed to things so I mean this is a very long-winded way and it's my pocket so I can do whatever the fuck I want but like of saying thank you because I I love this shit
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
With all that being said, unless you have any comments on that, I would love for you to start to break down at least a couple of these frameworks and then maybe let everyone know where they can get more of them, as I'm sure you have a resource on it as well.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
John, I could talk to you for three more hours. This has been incredible. MyNeuroGym, I want to drive everyone there. Yeah, MyNeuroGym.com is great.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
And it's so inexpensive to do it. Guys, and if you don't remember, you're driving, just scroll down into the description or comments, whatever, and we're going to have links to all this stuff. I can't express to you how important this conversation is. I can't wait to listen to it again. I've been an enormous fan.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
I didn't want to nerd out on you at the beginning, but I'll tell you now that we've had a chance to spend an hour together. I absolutely adore your work and the way you approach things. Thank you so much for your time today, John.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
And if you're not already, subscribe, whether you're listening on Apple, Spotify, or you're watching on YouTube. Lots of visuals in this episode. So if you are listening to the audio, jump over to YouTube and check out the episode as well so you can see John in action. If you have questions, comments... reviews, leave them. I read them all. I respond to them all.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
One, I think that's an amazing way of breaking it down. I've never heard it kind of put quite so clearly. I was opened up to this topic around manifesting. For a long time, and I read The Secret, I didn't really connect with that book, and I always kind of felt like this idea of manifesting was like this kind of woo-woo, you know, whatever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
And then I heard a guy by the name of Andy Fursella talk about it, and I was like, here's this kind of hardcore dude. He's into like, he's, you know, he's got the supplement program, you know, he's, and I, and I love him, but like when I heard him talk about the impact of it and he broke it down, it's what you just said. He was like, he's like, yeah, I get that a lot of people dismiss it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
Cause it feels like this. ethereal concept, right? Oh, you know, if I just put it out into the world, it comes back and it's like, that's not how it's actually happening. And again, push back on me where I'm, where I'm missing this, but essentially what it's doing is like pro it's programming our brain to see things that maybe it wasn't seen before, right? Just like what you said, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
Like, it's like when you get the new car, all of a sudden, all you see is that car or that color everywhere on the road, right? You're, you're kind of reprogramming your brain. Is that, is that the proper way of thinking about it?
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
I appreciate and love you for being here. Let's get on to one of the most powerful conversations we've ever had on this show with Jon Azaroff. Jon, it's incredible to have you on the show. I'm looking forward to our conversation, man. Thanks for taking the time. Thanks, Ryan. Me too. So I want to start with limiting beliefs.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
One of the things that I come across a lot with the individuals that reach out to me or that I work with or manage in my own company, it's almost as if like we've been programmed and we don't even know that we're capable of more. in so much of your work. And like, you have this great free training, you know, change your brain, change your income.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
I want to talk about those four things. I had one idea kind of hit me while you were talking. I want to run it by you and have you break it down. A lot of my friends, a lot of people that I that I run into, I coach a lot of sports and you start talking to your other dads and, you know, whatever. And there's a lot of anxiety in the world right now. Right. And probably always.
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
I'm not going to say whatever. I don't want to just talk this moment in time. And oftentimes the way I imagine anxiety, and I know there's many layers to it, but I'm just kind of in the context of what you've said is, here's how you want to resonate in your language, right? Here's what I would, if I could, if I put all my fears aside for a second, here's where I want to resonate. But based on...
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
Like the deeper and longer I've gotten into my career, the more I've realized that what goes on here basically drives everything else, which makes sense in a very like logical way, but emotionally we don't tend to operate that way. So one, do you believe we're programmed with a lot of limiting beliefs early? And two, how do we start to become aware of those?
The Ryan Hanley Show
5 Ways To Rewire Your Brain For SUCCESS - John Assaraf
how I've programmed my brain and how I'm currently resonating, that disconnect, that distance between how I'm resonating today and what I ultimately believe I could resonate or would want to resonate, that disconnect is anxiety, stress, depression. That's where so much of this negative stuff comes in. And maybe that's discussing it at a shallow level, but does that make sense?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. This is one of those episodes that when I say like, this is why I do this show, this is one of those episodes, guys. I have Jason Sherka on the show today and if you are one of those hyper-pragmatic, if I can't touch it, I don't believe it kind of people, you might hate this episode.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Well, it's the mutt language of the world.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Jace, dude, incredibly excited to have you on the show, man. Thanks for taking the time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
I want to know what the fundamental laws of creation are and what was the impact after you found them and started to introduce them into your life?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
I think so much of the dysregulation of our modern society has to do with the disconnection between the ideas that you're currently sharing. And, you know, so I'm a huge believer in the work of Graham Hancock. I don't believe, you know, I have no idea whether what he's gotten right and what he's gotten wrong. But I think the argument that he's making has enormous merit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And the fact that more work isn't done into these ancient civilizations and cultures and the things and how they operated is insane. And the fact that when he says modern, there were, there were not modern advanced civilizations, people say, whereas the cell phones and that I think speaks to the shallowness of, of our current world. And I couldn't agree with you more.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Like I've done so much, you know, again, Complete, you know, I'm not a scientist. I failed out of engineering school. I do have a math degree. But that was more because I found a decent looking girl who was willing to let me cheat off her for my seat. But, you know, I just look in your guys look in your regular life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Like when you when you walk into certain rooms, why are there certain people in that room that you just like can't take your eyes off of? Or you just want to like stand around or just just be near or listen to like what is it about certain individuals and the way they present themselves? And it's it's not always the best looking.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
It's not always the loudest, the most outspoken, you know, the most disagreeable or there's like certain people have these aura. And when you dig in, that aura is never negative. You never there's never a person who comes from a negative place. Doesn't mean they don't call things out or aren't willing to make an argument. I don't mean it that way. I mean, like true negativity.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
When you walk in a room, you can almost feel like the next time you walk into a gas station, like let your senses just kind of feel the gas station. And what's wild is the you'll pick up like this cashier. You know, she's like got a big smile on her face. She's like, you know, come on over. And you're like, you go.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And then you look at the other guy and he's got this mopey face and he's kind of like slumped over and you could tell he's fucking miserable. You'll never go to him. You'll go to her a hundred out of a hundred times. And why is that our natural reaction? Well, she's positive. yeah, what's behind the positivity and why is your body reacting to it? I mean, why do you care? You know what I mean?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Like, and I guess my question for you and take this where you want, but one, why is this a subject that two guys on a podcast are have to put out into the world, right? You have to search for this knowledge to find it. This is not something that is taught. It's not talked about. It is scoffed at in most kind of expert communities, unless it's specifically geared to this type of work.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Why do you think we have turned away from... this idea, like pulling it all the way back to these ideas that there could have been this ancient civilization. Like, why have we why do we like stiff arm these ideas so much? Is it because we we sometimes like part of me thinks that it is surface level as we lack the ability to apply it in our day to day lives.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
So therefore, we just don't give it the time or I'm interested in why this isn't something that people embrace more or is taught or talked about more.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Well, that's what they did with Tesla.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
I had this moment the other day, I was listening to a podcast and one of the major health guys, Huberman or a TR, I can't remember which one it was, right? And I like those guys. I think they're trying hard to share a good message.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And this is, you know, this isn't negative anyway, but the podcast host asked them like, you know, if someone could do, you know, three things to feel better that were easy and inexpensive, what would they do, right? And the first thing they said was, see the sun as early as possible and, and maybe take a walk in nature. And I like thought to myself and I'm like, okay,
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
how sad is it that we've gotten to a place as in a society where I have to tell you as a, as a top tier premier expert to go outside and see the sun as a way to feel better. Like I have to tell you that, like, it's not just, I go outside and I feel the sun on my face. And like, that's part of my day in my life. Like I literally have to be told that is a health hack to go outside and disconnect.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Yeah, I did a TEDx talk in February, and the topic was, I call it the status trap, right? And how my belief is, and it's why I do this podcast, and it's why I love having individuals like yourself on the show, is because... There are so many people in my life that I love. I just adore who they are. But when I talk to them about the way that I think, they look at me like I'm a crazy person.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
However, I hope that you will listen all the way through because what we're talking about is how to... how to think for ourselves, how to understand why we make decisions and ultimately taking control of the decisions that we make on our lives on a day-to-day basis. Now, we talk through some concepts that are going to sound at face value as a little ethereal, but I got to be honest with you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And you know what I mean? They're like, oh, you know, Hanley's into conspiracy theories and he's got all these things he does. And like right over here, just outside the screen is a cold plunge and I have a sauna. And like every morning I get up and I get in this freezing cold water that I absolutely hate for three to five minutes, depending on... how much willpower I have that day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And then I get out and I go in the sauna and that's, you know, that's my 30 minute routine every morning to get myself going. And people be like, Oh, you're crazy for doing that. Why do you? And I'm like, bro, like we got to start thinking for ourselves.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Like, like the reason that I do this show and I bring in such, even though we tend to be skewed towards business professionals and how people can improve that side of their life. I mean, dude, I have people from all over the spectrum come on the show because to me, no matter what your goal is to get there, you have to think for yourself.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
It doesn't mean some of the things you do won't be common practice things that other people do, but do those things because you decided to do them, right? If you're going to lather your body
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
in this intense chemical called sunscreen right as a way to defend yourself from cancer from the sun right which people have been dealing with forever you know like if that's what you're gonna do do it because you made the decision not because everybody around you is like if you don't put you know 10 layers of spf 80 on you're you're gonna die from skin cancer right like like
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
If you want to do that, do it, but do it for your reasons. Do it because you thought through the cost benefit analysis or however your body reacts to the sun or whatever and make that decision on your own. Right. And you have this concept like escaping from the escaping from the matrix. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And and, you know, I think sometimes people, again, get a little get a little like this is, you know, the matrix. Oh, it's a movie. That movie was groundbreaking for a reason, right? It was groundbreaking for a reason because what it did, it was the first shot across the bow and a rare shot from Hollywood to say, there is this layer of society trying to put you in a box that you don't see.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
But it's there. And if you're willing to open your mind, you can see it. And once you start to see it, the hard part, and this is what I say to my friends who bust my chops about being a conspiracy theorist, even though I now remind them that I was accurate about 90% of the things that I was talking to them about. But once you start to see these things, even if it's in one micro part of your life,
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
It's like all of a sudden you start going, wait a minute. Well, if this thing over here was true that most people don't do, what other parts of my life can I improve if I open my mind up? So like for you, this idea of like how does someone who's listening to this, who's just kind of a.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
A straightforward, maybe we'll call them hyper practical person who wants to be successful, but maybe struggles to come into this area that we're going. How does that individual start to open up their mind, start to see the matrix and start to maybe... I think of original thinking as not as like being some type of contrarian for contrarian purposes. To me, it's just taking ownership of your life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Right. That's that's all that I hope people do is just take ownership for your life. Just be responsible and and and purposeful in the decisions that you're making. And then what happens happens. So like for you, someone who's gone this deep on this many topics, like how does someone start to crack that window?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
I struggle with modern leftist value structures. I struggle with it. And it struggled with it for years. Because again, as I said before, like,
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
I try as much as I can to live in the world and look at what actual results come out of ideas and make my decisions on whether I believe or disbelieve something based on what's not a utopian belief of what the world could be if we just disintegrated human nature and the universe and all the things we're talking about. Right. Like if we actually live in and I struggle with it for a very long time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And then about two years ago, like halfway through the Biden administration, I have these thoughts on what their thoughts are. But I've never actually spent time because I listen to them for five seconds and I get frustrated. I'm going to purposefully start to take in their commentary. and force myself despite maybe some initial rejection to hear what they're saying and where they're coming from.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And what I found really interesting was two things. One, most of it, I continued to disbelieve and disagree with, however,
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
My what I started to be able to discern and by by listening to the opposition or listening to viewpoints that I didn't necessarily agree with that face value and digging into them a little deeper was that I found I I actually started to believe there's there's two types of people who believe this one type is someone who.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
honestly wants to do good and for whatever reason has been indoctrinated by these ideas, most of which are socialist, right? And they tend to not live in reality, but they want to do good. They actually are good-hearted people who want to do good. And frankly, I'd put like AOC in this category. I think the shit that she says is absolute bananas. I do not think she lives in the real world.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
However, I do think that she is trying to,
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
based on the fact that she's been indoctrinated with socialist beliefs to do good I think she's trying to do good I think there are others who you would position near her who are doing it for reasons more like what we talked about to to either you know form their own NGO and funnel the money back into them or gain some sort of power or they're looking for celebrity or whatever they're looking for so that's that's why they go there but what I found from that was it helped solidify
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
my own beliefs more by spending time with ideas that I didn't necessarily agree with at face value. And now I feel like I have a little more empathy and understanding for the other side. I also feel even more solid in the viewpoints that I originally had in the places where those are.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And my purpose in saying that is now I can listen to someone who I... It was practice for listening to someone who I disagreed with to both open my mind up to new ideas that could be true, right? Maybe there's something that she's saying that... Five of these things she said, I disagree with and I think are wrong.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
But however, two of the things she says, like she has this big thing she's going on around. And I'm just using some microcosm, guys. I'm not sure. Like, I think she's got this whole narrative that congressmen and anyone in Congress or any of these, they shouldn't be allowed to trade stocks, shouldn't be allowed to trade stocks. Right. Right. I think it's a phenomenal idea.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
I 100% unequivocally agree with her. They should be able to invest in the market, but it should be 100% transparent. It should be in like the S&P 500 for the four years or six years or two years that you hold this position. You have to put all your stuff in one S&P ETF or whatever, and that's where your money goes. And now you can't do these trades. Like, so... I think that's a phenomenal idea.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Well, if I had just turned her off completely because at face value, I disagreed with where she was coming from, I wouldn't have found this idea that someone like herself, that we're in complete lockstep on, right? And I think that allows us going back to this idea of thinking for ourselves, of owning our lives.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
If we only live in the bubble that we were kind of initially indoctrinated in in our childhood or our early 20s, We never actually grow as people. We don't start to find these new ideas.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Like if you're completely turned off to anything that isn't what you would consider material or real, then you miss this idea that we started with of resonance and vibration and how important that is and how if you want to, you know, I struggle, you know, not me personally, but I have, you know, I'll be talking to some founders or some entrepreneurs sometimes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And a lot of times, particularly the guys in these spaces, although I know it to be true for the women as well, they struggle to find a good partner. And it's because they're constantly in problems and constantly grinding.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
At the end of the day, they're kind of tired and they have this mission and they're working hard, but they find themselves in this negative place at the end of the day, just from the nature of a startup or whatever, right? I mean, it's freaking hard. So then they're like, well, why can't I find a good partner?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And it's because when you go out to wherever you go, the bar or the community event or whatever, at the end of the day, you're fucking in a bad spot. Like you're bitching about what happened that day. You're complaining about an employee or a lost client or something. Who, what person is going to be attracted to that? Right now you may say, well, they're being negative. I'm just being real.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
But if you, if you miss this idea of vibration, right, if you miss this idea of resonance, what you're, what you're saying, and I, I obviously a hundred percent agree with you is that You're vibrating at a negative frequency is only attracting other people who are also vibrating at a negative frequency.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Those are going to be the people that want to stand in that circle and listen to you bitch about whatever you're bitching about. If you come to that same meet that same circle and you're positive and uplifted and and vibrated. joyful in some capacity, that's the type of person that you're going to attract into your world.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
To make David a king, God did not give him a crown. He gave him Goliath. That changed my entire vantage point. I read that seven years ago and it changed my entire perspective on how I approached adversity.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
it's huge it's huge it's it's if you can look at these things as as ways to get stronger dude i couldn't i'm so glad that you shared that because i could not agree with it more and i love the way that you put it it this is one of the biggest lessons that i had to learn in my life because you know i grew up poor i grew up in the middle of nowhere in the woods town of 900 and
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
We used to say you could leave the doors open at night because the criminals lived in our towns. They didn't steal in our town. Right. So like no opportunity. Every male role model they had growing up was either an alcoholic, a pothead or worse. And like I had, you know, I was, you know, I consider it a blessing from God that I was that I had a mindset of like, I need to get the fuck out of here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Right. For whatever reason, at 12, I can remember distinctly at 12 walking around my town like I need to get out of here. But I still had that relationship to why was I put in that spot? And then I read that quote and then others passed and it changed my entire perspective to say everything
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
thing that could normally be classified as a terrible event or a negative event, I now look at as this is a lesson that for some reason, the universe or God or whatever you believe in has decided I need to learn in order to make me stronger. And it changes your whole vantage point. Jason, dude, I could talk to you for hours, bro. This is freaking phenomenal. I appreciate the hell out of you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
For people who want to get more into your world, who want to follow along on your journey, who like your ideas, where do they go? How do we get them involved in what you're doing?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Yeah, also tremendous Instagram follow as well. And we'll have links, guys, to everything Jason just mentioned. Just scroll down, whether you're on YouTube or Spotify, Apple, wherever you're listening. Just scroll down. We'll have links to all this stuff. Dude, open invitation to come back. I could talk about all this shit. I could have talked about the ancient history stuff for another hour.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
This is great. I love your viewpoint, and I'm so happy that you could give us some time today.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
These are some of the core aspects of becoming exactly who we want to be. You are gonna love this episode. It is incredible. It is fun. And it is gonna make you think, I promise you. I love you for being here. Guys, if you enjoy this show and you wanna support what we do, hey, just... share the show with a friend, right? How podcasts grow is by sharing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
100% in agreement with you, seeing it play out in my own life as well as many other people that I know. And I think when we think about this concept and we apply it, because I think some people get lost for whatever reason. I think there's a bunch of reasons in ideas like vibration, right? It starts to feel like ethereal. It starts to feel fluffy, you know, that kind of stuff. However...
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
I try to live as much as I possibly can in reality. And what I mean by that is, like, looking at what's, not what I would like to happen, not the way I wish the world worked, but how things actually work, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And a couple really good, a really good data point on this, which this book doesn't reference frequencies or vibration at all, yet it explains the exact same concept, is Abigail Schreier's new book, Bad Therapy. In which she makes the case that by constantly walking through these negative experiences through therapy over and over and over again, all we're doing is putting ourselves in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Now, she doesn't use the word vibration or frequency, but all we're doing is putting ourselves in this negative space and reinforcing it. Right. Like we're not we're not helping ourselves lift out by constantly going back and rehashing bad things or bad times or bad decisions. Right. Because all that does when our mind relives that experience is vibrating in that negative frequency.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And I think the other place we see it is like, you know, and especially for you guys at home, because Jason, I'm sure you like live this. Right. But like, yes. Think about the moments when you were the most excited, the happiest, the most filled with joy, the most filled with love.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
What people entered your lives during those moments versus the moments where you were depressed, sad, drinking, negative? What people entered your life in those moments? And it's because the people who are vibrating at the same frequencies as you are in your emotional state, they're attracted, just like you said, with the tuning fork.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
So it's like, you know, I just, I want to level set that for the audience, for those of you who may get a little turned off by vibrations and frequencies. I'm a firm believer. I've also done a lot of the research as well. Not as deep as you, obviously, but I've read a lot of stuff on this. Like, This is core.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
And I watched a video that you did that I thought was fascinating on the Hebrew language and how maybe you could break this down. I don't I'm going to do a disservice, but it seems to be in the same not to completely play on words, the same resonance as as what we're discussing right now.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
The discoverability on Apple, Spotify is almost zero. How new people find shows, how you most likely found this show was someone referred you to this show. So if you enjoy it, please share the show. Otherwise, enjoy this incredible conversation with Jason Sherka.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Law of Vibration: Why Your Life Feels Stuck
Essentially the premise of Ghostbusters 2.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous episode for you today, a very special episode in which over the last two weeks we hit two milestones in the growth of this community. 10,000 subscribers on the YouTube channel and 25,000 subscribers on the Instagram channel. Absolutely phenomenal. I appreciate the hell out of you guys.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Leaving a rating or review on Apple or Spotify is a tremendous way to do that. And everyone that has, I very much appreciate you. But I wanted to take some questions from the audience because I love the questions. Q&A is my favorite part of keynotes. It's my favorite part of workshops.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Large decisions, tough decisions, decisions that really force us to use our brain and dig in, right? Those are going to pull more. So... routine helps burnout. Routine helps burnout. Because the routines that we have in our lives, these could also be considered habits. James Clear's book, Atomic Habits, is wonderful for this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I think 50 million people or something crazy, some crazy number like that have read his book at this point. So if you have, then you know what I'm talking about. But if you haven't read it, I highly recommend James Clear's book, Atomic Habits. But In that book, he talks a lot about willpower. There's another great book, Willpower Is Not Enough. Another great book to check out.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And both of them hit on this concept of willpower being a resource that we lose throughout the day. And that habits and routines allow us to make decisions once and execute on that decision day after day after day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
So if you decide you're going to go to bed at 9.30 every day and get up at 5 and the first thing you're going to do every day when you get up is read for 30 minutes, then the decision to read no longer pulls from your energy meter.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
If you decide every day you're going to get up and work on a side hustle or you're going to work on a book or you're going to get ahead on your email, whatever that is, building a routine and time blocking that routine into your calendar reduces your need to decide whether or not you should do a thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
The reason we want to build these habits and routines in is not just for the benefit of doing that thing every day that hopefully is positive, but so that we have more energy in the moments throughout the day that require us to pull from our reserve of willpower. willpower should be like your savings account, right? Hopefully, month to month, you are operating out of your checking account.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And that your checking account, you know, money comes in, we save some, and then we work out of our checking account. And each month, our savings account is growing a little bit and a little bit, investments, whatever. I'm not an investment advisor, so please don't bang me with, you know, well, you should be investing in stocks or whatever. That's not the point.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
The point is, assuming you only have a checking account and a savings account are the only two things that you have available to you, right? We wanna be operating out of our checking account most of the day, right? That's auto pulls on our mortgage, on our cell phone bill, on our utility bill, et cetera. Those things take zero decision-making process.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
They're bills we know that are coming due every single month, and for the purposes of our analogy, Habits and routines are pulling from the checking account automatically every day. I'm going to read first thing in the morning, then I'm going to hit some emails. By that time, the kids will be up. I'm going to make them breakfast, spend some time with them, get them on the bus, get to work.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And whenever I'm on someone else's podcast, a lot of times they'll ask their audience for questions and hit me with those and those kind of off-the-cuff questions. responses. That's always my favorite part. I love kind of real time answering people's questions. So I pulled out five questions, which I'm going to work through the rest of the episode here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I didn't have to make any decisions in that process. I know that that's what I do every single day. I didn't have to pull from my willpower reserve, right? Now, when you need it, say you have to buy like, I have a big purchase coming up in so much as I have to buy a generator, right? I know I have this generator I have to purchase.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I've been not avoiding it, but putting it off mostly because procrastination, I just need to do it. I live in the north, storms hit, and I live in an older part of town. So we do lose power, and I want to get a generator, right? So now the decision to purchase a generator, that comes out of your savings account. That's a big decision. Do I purchase a generator? Do I not purchase a generator?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
For purposes of our day-to-day, that may be... Do I want to have this tough conversation or I need to make a tough conversation, have a tough conversation with a team member or employee or a peer or my partner? And that tough conversation is going to pull on our willpower because every part of our body and our mind is going to tell us, don't do that hard thing. Don't have that hard conversation.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And our willpower is what we're going to draw on to say, no, I have to do this thing. But if we have used up our willpower on little micro decisions all day because we don't have a routine, we don't have habits, then when it comes time for that tough conversation, our brain starts screaming, don't do this, don't do this, and we don't have any willpower to draw on to push past that hesitancy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Steven Pressfield calls this the resistance, that constant and opposite force to our positive energy, right? That draw, that don't do this. It's going to having that tough conversation with your partner. She's going to hate you. She's not going to respect you anymore, whatever it is, right? He's not going to respect you. He's going to hate you, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
All these negative things start coming out of thin air. fighting against us getting that thing done. And it is our willpower that allows us to push through it. And if we've used up our willpower throughout the day, then we burn out. We don't make those hard decisions. We become exhausted.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
We get to the end of the day, we start self-medicating with alcohol or pot or whatever we use, binge watching TV, playing video games to one in the morning because we've used up our willpower. So habits, routines allow us to build in the positive activities that we don't need to make a decision on because we just do them regardless. Time blocking helps us make sure we have that time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And we're saving our willpower for the big, tough decisions. And in doing so, what you'll find is you never burn out because you've gotten the things done that would otherwise apply pressure to you to burn you out. Joe, I hope that answers your question. Burnout is absolutely real. I've experienced it many times, and it is always because I am off my routine and my habits.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And hopefully some of these are relevant to you. I think they will be. They seemingly are relevant to everyone. So the first question comes from Sylvie is the name, S-I-I-L-V-I-I dot Z. Sylvie asks, what's the hardest part about staying this motivated? And the question is, I'm not always motivated. You're never going to be always motivated.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
When I fall out of good routines, good habits, I start making bad decisions or I start struggling with tough, necessary decisions, and you get that feeling of burnout, that sense of overwhelm. And we all want to avoid that as much as possible. So, okay. Great question, Joah. All right, on to our fourth question. And guys, I appreciate you so much.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
10,000 followers on YouTube, 25,000 followers on Instagram for a channel like mine growing, trying to add value to your lives. It's just amazing. And if you're not subscribed or not connected, please do. Hit me with questions. Share with your friends. That's how the show grows. That's how the show grows. All right. Our fourth question comes from Jack Francis.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Jack asks, what advice do you have for someone who struggles with morning productivity? When I was thinking about this question, the first thing that came to my mind is we're not all morning people. Most of us are. There are far fewer night owls statistically. There have been tons of studies done on this. There are far fewer night owls than we want to admit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
A lot of our night owl nature is us trying to deal with a sense of not getting things done during the day. And by not having good routines, good habits, we push into the evenings and then we call ourselves night owls. That's often not the case. Many more of us are productive in the morning, but you may be a night owl. So first, try to figure that out. Where do you have the most energy?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And I would assume for most of you listening to this, it is in the morning, especially after a good night's sleep. If you're struggling with morning productivity and you are a morning person, then the first place I'd look is the night before. What are you doing at night? Are you going to bed at a reasonable time? Are you getting seven hours plus of sleep a night? There are very, very few people.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Again, this is another kind of common myth. There are very few people that can productively operate on less than seven hours of sleep on a consistent basis. Now, many of us do that, right? We get five, six hours of sleep, but then we're groggy in the morning and we don't wake up until we've had a pot of coffee and it's 11 a.m.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
So much of our lack of productivity in the morning has to do with what we're doing the night prior. So if you're properly hydrated, if you're going to bed relatively un-intoxicated, if you are in a dark room getting good sleep, I use a whoop strap. Not a product mentioned. I'm not sponsored by them, but I use it for those looking at YouTube. I keep it on my wrist right here. I track my sleep.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I track my sleep performance. I know what positively impacts my sleep. I know what negatively impacts my sleep because I've been tracking my sleep for almost four months now. I have been tracking my sleep.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I've been tracking how different types of physical activity, different amounts of strain impact my sleep because when I get seven hours of high recovery sleep or more, I absolutely dominate the next day. Today is one of those days. I got 92% recovery rate and 100% sleep performance last night. I slept for seven hours and 33 minutes. I feel so motivated today, it's unbelievable.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I've just been dominating since the moment that I woke up. And that's because I went to bed at a reasonable hour, slept in a dark room. I find that sleeping with my partner, when I sleep in the same bed as her, I get better sleep. I find that when I sleep in a dark room, I get better sleep. I like a weighted blanket, that helps me sleep. Being properly hydrated helps me sleep.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
There are a few other factors, which maybe we can address on another podcast, that positively impact my sleep. But when I get a highly productive night of sleep, I wake up the next morning ready to crush. I'm not questioning things. I just get up. I do what I have to do. And I get into my day. And from moment one, I'm getting after it. Now, we all have different situations.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Oftentimes, our work is done, our growth happens in the moments that we're not motivated. It is very easy to show up to the gym. It's very easy to show up for this podcast. It's very easy to show up to a sales call or for an individual when you're motivated. That's when it's easy. If we rely on the moments that we're motivated, we'll never move forward.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Some of us have to work second jobs to pay the bills. Some of us have young kids that keep us up. There's all different scenarios in which we're not going to get a perfect night's sleep every night. It's not going to happen. But if we can get more good night's sleep than bad in a week, say if you get...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
four to five good nights and two or three not so good nights, you're going to be okay and you're going to wake up ready to go. So the energy that we wake up with is a big part of being productive in the morning and knowing what impacts our sleep and making sure that we're prioritizing good, high recovery sleep. You get eight hours of sleep and have it be very low productivity and wake up tired.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
That often happens when you drink too much alcohol or you're inebriated, et cetera. There are other factors that go into that. Maybe you didn't exercise the night before or the day before. So knowing what impacts your sleep is important, getting a good night's sleep. Okay, second, having a set routine, a set routine for the morning. What are the things that are important to you?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
It could be working out. It could be reading. I really like to read in the morning. I really like to get some sort of positive, educational, Something into me, some sort of educational material and just I really love reading. Getting that in for 30, 20 to 30 minutes in the morning really sets my day off on the right path. After that, I like to get myself situated.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I like to make sure the house is put together, get dressed, get ready, get all my stuff together. If I have to get the kids to school, I get them up and out the door. But if I get that reading in in the morning, and maybe follow up on some emails that have to go out early and just maybe have come in through the night before, I feel like when I hit work, I'm ready to crush, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
So I don't miss reading. I read pretty much every single day, first thing in the morning. And by having that kind of routine that I'm not going to negotiate with myself on, there's no... I'm gonna do it regardless. So there's no lack of productivity because I'm gonna do it. It's literally in my plan.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
If I go to bed and I get good sleep and I wake up in the morning and I know the first thing I'm gonna do is read and then I'm gonna maybe answer some emails, get back to some people. I feel like now I've done some work stuff. I get that off my brain. I can then fully focus on my family and my kids and make sure they're taken care of. And then I step into that first minute of the workday
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And I'm ready to go. And there's no regret feelings. There's no, man, I feel tired. I feel good. I feel ready to get after it. But I guess my real question to this is morning productivity is a result of having a routine and making sure that you're taking care of yourself the night before and getting a good night's sleep.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
You do those two things, you're going to be very, very productive in the morning. All right, Jack, I hope that answers your question, my friend. I appreciate it. We are on to our fifth and final question. Now, this one actually comes from a few months ago, but I thought it fit the vein that we were talking about today. And it comes from Blue Axolot Fam on YouTube. That's the handle.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
We'll stay right where we are because motivation comes and goes. While we can do things in our life to increase the amount of what I'll call motivation, that sense of urgency, that desire to get things done, while... We can do things to cultivate more kind of motivation in our lives. You are not going to be motivated every day. I am not motivated every day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
with looks like some sort of Minecraft emoji face for the profile picture, but it's a great question. You ever get stuck, assuming there was supposed to be a do there, do you ever get stuck on a project for a long period of time? Yes, just like every other human being. Yes, I do get stuck on projects for long periods of time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And I think where this particular individual, because I have no idea if it's a man or a woman, where this particular individual was getting at is, and then how do you get unstuck? Okay, so, and this is why I wanted to finish with this question because it all comes back to routine and prioritization.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Oftentimes, the reason we get stuck on a project for a long time is we don't prioritize that project. That is the most common reason that we get stuck on a project. It's not because we don't know how to execute on the project. It's not because we don't know who to call to help. It's not because we don't know what the answer is. It's because we don't prioritize it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
We get stuck on projects for extended period of time because we don't prioritize the project. I'm gonna give you an example. So I am co-authoring a book, The Civilized Savage, from mediocrity to mastery in an age of cultural conformity.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I've been co-authoring this book with a good friend of mine, Chris Paradiso, and for the last few months, it's been on me to kind of do the final edits before it goes to our actual book editor. And I've been working on narrative and flow, and I just kept getting stuck. And getting stuck is real. I really was getting stuck.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
But the reason I was getting stuck is because I wasn't prioritizing the project. Not because it wasn't important to me, it was. But I was prioritizing. My kids are involved in a lot of the youth sports. I was prioritizing their practices and their games. And then I'd get home and I'd be tired and I'd work on it tomorrow and then I wouldn't. And then finally, I was like...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
this project, which is so important to me. I mean, I'm in love with this book. I think you guys are going to love this book. I can't wait for it to be, uh, you know, kind of real and tangible and I can put it in your hands. Uh, I'm so proud to be working on it with Chris. I'm proud of the message. Uh, it means a lot to me yet here I am not prioritizing it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And finally, what I did is I took an afternoon on a Saturday and I literally blocked four hours of And I just freaking banged out the last piece that needed to get done. I just focused on it. I just told my friends and my family. I just said, hey, I'm going to be out of communication for the afternoon. And if I don't respond, don't take it personally.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And I put focus mode on my phone, turned off all my other apps on my computer, and I just finished the freaking project and got it out. You have to prioritize it. Time-blocking. Time-blocking. Time blocking. If you're stuck on a big project, look at your calendar, find an hour, two hours, however much time you think you need or can afford and just put it in your calendar.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Just put that time in your calendar. If it's something that's like, say it's a house project, right? Put it on your calendar. Put it on your calendar. Work on this. I wanted to paint this room. Put it on your calendar. Saturday morning from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m., I'm going to paint this room. Bam. That's what it is. That's what you're doing. You're not doing anything else. Put it on your calendar.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Prioritize the thing. It's the best advice that I have for getting unstuck on a big project is just to focus on it. And if you get there and your mind is wandering and you're thinking about 15 other things you have to do, that's natural. Do the f***ing project anyways. You think my mind didn't wander during four hours of working on that, of finishing that book? I knew exactly what I had to do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Most days, I'm probably not motivated, if I'm being completely honest with you. I don't wake up every morning. David Goggins may wake up every day and want to absolutely crush, and I'm probably taking him a little out of context, but I do not. However, I have goals. I have people that I'm responsible for. I have bills to pay. I have my own desire to create.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I had two more sections that I needed to kind of reorganize and I wanted to rewrite a few portions of certain chapters that just I had notes on. And you think my mind didn't wander during that time? Of course it did. My mind wandered all over the place, all over the place. But I just kept working on it. I just kept doing it. If my mind wandered, I would just pull it back into center.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Okay, get after it again. And, you know, I have other tricks for focusing my mind. I have fairly severe ADHD. And, you know, as I've gotten older, it's been harder to control. I've talked about that on the show with you guys if you're longtime listeners to the show. And as I've gotten older, you know, when I was younger, I could take –
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
You know, kind of the varied and disparate nature of my thoughts. And I could, you know, if I really need to focus on something, I could just kind of like pull myself in. And as I've gotten older, I find that harder and harder to do. I now have certain tricks that I use. We can talk about those on a different show. I don't think they're particularly relevant at this moment.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
But, you know, I just got it done. I have four hours blocked. This is what I'm doing. And I kept saying to myself, think of how good it's going to feel to deliver this portion of the book that I owe Chris. Think about how good it's going to feel to send him that email and say, look, Chris. Here we are. Let's go. We're on to the next phase. How exciting that was going to be. And it was.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
It felt fucking great. It felt awesome. I was proud of myself. I was happy to get that to Chris. I felt like I wasn't a slug anymore because I owed him that. And all of a sudden, it was like all this stress and anxiety that I had from this project that was hanging over my head just slumped off my shoulders. I felt great. But you just got to do the damn work. Time blocking is the best way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Stuck on a big project, block some time, get it done. And if it takes blocking two hours for a month, two hours a week for a month, do it. If it takes time blocking an hour a day for a month or two months or a year, do it. Block the time, show up, do the work during that time. prioritize the project and you will get unstuck. The reason you're stuck is the resistance.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
It's Steven Pressfield's resistance. This is a big, important, hard thing. And the enemy, the resistance is going to do everything it can from keeping you from putting your amazing work out into the world. So just prioritize it. Time block and get that shit done. And if you're having trouble with that, send me a message. I'll send you some of the tricks I have for focus.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
If you hit me up with a message or leave a comment on YouTube, I will send you all the tips that I have for focusing and for getting shit done. I promise. Guys, I hope you enjoyed this. If you have questions you want me to answer on the show, leave them in the comments. Let me know if you enjoyed this format.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I really love doing these because I feel like it gives me a chance to express myself, share some of my own insights and experience with you. So much of this show is interviewing amazing people and trying to put their ideas in front of you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
It is fun for me and fulfilling and satisfying to actually share some of my own insights, some of my own experiences, how I work through different problems with you. And if you enjoy that, let me know. We can do more of these in the future. And for everyone who subscribed either on YouTube or Instagram or listens to the podcast, as always, guys, I love you for listening to this show.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
This is a labor of love for me. I do this because I feel like sharing information, sharing insights, sharing experience, sharing struggles, It helps us all get through. It helps us to know that we're not alone. And you certainly should know you're not alone. I do think I'm a highly productive person. I've had a lot of success. As I said at the beginning, I'm very, very blessed.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And I know that at the end of the day, whether I start motivated or not, I'm unsatisfied when I put my head on the pillow if I haven't gotten the things done that are important to reaching those goals and to taking care of the people in my lives, to paying my bills, if I don't get things done associated with those items, then I'm unsatisfied.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
But I have all the same fucked up shit going on that you do. And through many, many beats... I figured out some ways to work through those things and continue to be productive despite them. And I hope these helped. I love you for listening to this show. If you're not subscribed, please subscribe. Leave me a comment. And if you haven't left a rating and review on Spotify or Apple, please do that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
That helps the show find more amazing listeners like yourself. Till next time, I'm out of here. Peace.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Let's go. Yeah, make it look, make it look, make it look. Thank you for listening to The Ryan Hanley Show. Be sure to subscribe and leave us a comment or review wherever you listen to podcasts.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And I want to do something different for this episode. I wanted to take questions that I've gotten over the last two weeks from people that subscribe, people, followers, you guys, the audience. I want to take some questions and answer these. And we got some really good ones here. And I just wanted to work through them because I think it's important.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
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The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
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The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I find myself with my eyes wide open on the pillow wondering why I didn't get this done or why I made this excuse. I hate that feeling. Honestly, I think I hate that sense of delinquency more than anything. It makes me feel like less of a person. It makes me feel like I'm undeserving of the things that I have in my life. I'm blessed in so many ways. I had two loving parents. I was born in America.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Seemingly good genes. My brain works for the most part. I have so many blessings and to not get things done because I didn't feel motivated feels like I'm being disrespectful to those blessings, if that makes sense. So all that being said, to answer Sylvie's question, the hardest part about staying motivated is believing that you need to be motivated in the first place. Just do the fucking work.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Just do the work. Whatever it is you need to get done, just do it. You don't have to be in a good mood. You don't have to like it. You don't have to feel awesome about it. You don't have to, you know, there doesn't need to be rainbows and sunshine and harp music playing in the background in order to get after it. Just do the work. If you need to make 10 sales calls today, make 10 sales calls.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
If you need to put a deck together for a big pitch or an investor meeting, do it. If you need to have a tough conversation with your partner or your spouse, do it. If you have health and fitness goals, which you should, then just eat right. Don't put the cookie in your face. It's okay to look at the cookie. It's okay to daydream about what that cookie might taste like.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Don't put the cookie in your mouth. Have a banana, have some grapes, have a salad or whatever it is that hits your nutrition or wellness goals. And if you don't know what those things are, go find someone that'll help you, that'll help you give you a plan in order to know what to eat, what to do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
But if you're not, if your goals are to stay fit and healthy, if your goals are to grow your business or grow your position inside of a business, if your goals are to take care of someone, do the work necessary, show up, do it and understand that all the people that you look at
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
online and may have some sort of envy for the life and the situation and the work that they get done, know that they are not motivated either. Not every moment of every day. Certainly most moments. To be candid, it's probably most moments of most days, the people who you envy for the amount of work that they get done, they are unmotivated.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
The only difference is they have the discipline to do the shit that needs to get done regardless of that motivation. I think it's a wonderful question, Sylvie. Guys, how do you feel about motivation? I hate the term. I use it, but I hate it. I've been called a motivational speaker in the past. Oh, Ryan, your keynotes are so motivational. I'm glad that people take them that way. I certainly am.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
But I do not want to be a motivational speaker. I want to help people figure out whatever it is, whatever that trigger is that gets them through the day. But motivating them? I don't even know that that's possible. I think it's a placeholder term that we use to denote energy transfer, which is wonderful. It's part of the job of a keynote speaker.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
The questions that people ask, I always respond to almost all the comments that I get, especially the questions. If someone just comments, sometimes I'll say thanks or whatever. But for people who have questions, I try to respond to every single question that comes through either the Instagram channel or YouTube, and as well as the questions that come through Apple or Spotify.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
It's part of this job as a podcaster, as a content creator, as a leader, whether that's a leader of a business, leader of a household, right? The leadership that we have over ourselves. It's your job to transfer positive energy However, believing that you're always going to have a full tank of positive energy every day to get things done is just not reality. So Sylvie, I appreciate that question.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I love that question. Hope that answered your question. And let's get on to question number two. Okay, next question comes from Tom. Tom asks, how do you balance work life and crushing it in the gym? I don't believe in balance. That's first and foremost. I do not believe in balance. Balance should not be a goal. Get rid of the idea of balance altogether. That's step number one.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Your life is never going to be balanced. Balance, again, it denotes this idea of a 50-50 split, of all things being even and equal, and that is never going to be the case. There's a concept that changed my life and changed how I approached life, how I approached my work, how I approached my family. And it's this idea that we have seasons of our lives, seasons of a year, seasons of a week, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Seasons of a week might not make sense. But the idea is at any given moment, we need to find harmony based on what our needs are in that moment. There may be times when the gym just isn't as much of a priority versus other things. Maybe you have some stuff going on in your marriage or in your relationship with your partner or your kids and you need to spend more time there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
You just need to be present. And taking an hour or an hour and a half out of your day to drive to the gym, get a workout in, come home, it's just not part of the equation. And in those scenarios, maybe just getting 100 push-ups in and doing some air squats or some stretching or yoga in your basement or in your living room for 20, 30 minutes is worthwhile.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
In many cases, doing that work in front of your family has a tremendous amount of positive benefits. But my point here is sometimes harmony, is pumping the brakes a little bit on your career. Pumping the brakes a little bit on that full tilt, grind all day growth process and backing into your family. Sometimes it's the opposite.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Sometimes you need to have a conversation with your loved ones and say, look, I gotta get after it for a couple weeks.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
We have a huge presentation coming up and I'm just going to need to put some extra hours in, which means, you know, when you guys sit down at the end of the night to maybe watch a show and calm down or whatever you're doing, I'm going to head back to my office because I got to grind for a couple extra hours or I need to, you know, honey, I need to get out of bed at 5 a.m.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
for a week because I got to get this stuff done, right? Or my physical shape has spiraled out and I need to build time in. And is it okay if I'm not home for the first hour with the kids because I got to get to the gym and if I don't get my fitness, if I don't get my fitness back on track, I'm going to fall apart. I'm not going to have the energy I need to be present here with you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I'm not going to be happy. I'm not going to be content, right? Find harmony. Don't find balance. Because harmony... The concept of harmony gives us permission to be flexible And what we're focusing on at any given period of time, in any given period of our life, to reprioritize, right? There are going to be times in your life where work is the most important thing, even if you have a family.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
A lot of times people leave questions about the podcast.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
There's going to be times in your life where your family and the time you spend and be present with them is more important than anything that's going on at work. There's going to be times when you have to get your physical fitness in shape. You may get a health diagnosis that says you need to completely rearrange your health and wellness program.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
in ratings and reviews of the show which is an odd way to ask a question but I also very much appreciate all the ratings and reviews that we've gotten continue to grow and if you haven't left a rating and review of this show on Spotify or Apple if you like to listen to the podcast I'd very much appreciate you doing that that helps those algorithms share this show with more people it has a tremendous effect if you've ever wanted to support the show in any way
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And that may take away from your focus at work or your focus on family. But finding that harmony and being content in the harmony of that moment is the key. The last six months, I have not been, quote unquote, crushing it at the gym. I've been going to the gym, but I haven't been crushing it. Now, I've been kind of back on the grind the last few weeks, which has felt awesome.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I'm at my best when I'm doing four strength training workouts a week at a minimum, coupled in with maybe some ruck walks. I have a 40-pound ruck vest, which is a vest that you wear, which has weighted plates in it. Mine is not a ruck sack where you carry everything on your back. Mine is a ruck vest. So I have 20 pounds in the front, 20 pounds on the back.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And I'll throw a podcast on and go for an hour long walk, take the dog with me. You may have seen some of the videos I do on Instagram where a thought will hit me and I'll share that while I'm walking or whatever. But
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I'm at my best energy-wise when I'm getting those workouts in, but if I'm making time for those workouts, then other aspects of my life, like maybe reading, I love to read, but it is very hard to get a half hour, 45 minutes worth of reading in
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And, you know, if I'm really going to do a strength training workout, I like it to be 45 minutes to an hour long with 10 minutes on either side for, you know, kind of driving to and driving home from the gym. Right. There are, there are many times in my life when balancing work, my kids, uh, uh,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
you know, my love life and getting that workout in and I can't do all those things and prioritize all those things all the time and get the necessary sleep and, you know, and also be thoughtful and reaching out to friends.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
I mean, it's just, there's so many pulls on our attention that we have to prioritize and harmonize our life and then be content and happy in that harmony and know that if something is out of harmony, that we just need to take a moment and reprioritize. And I hope that answers your question, Tom. I think balance, it's a word. I understand the meaning and why we use it, but I do think words matter.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And if you replace balance with harmony and really dig into that concept, I think you'll get a lot of value out of that. And I think you'll be able to reprioritize things in a way that fit the life that you want to live while still taking care of the things you need to take care of. So, all right. Guys, if you're enjoying this Q&A, let me know.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Head over to YouTube and just leave a comment on YouTube or hit me up on Instagram. I'm Ryan underscore Hanley on Instagram. And just let me know if you enjoy these Q&A sessions. I would love to do these more often, especially when we hit milestones. It just seems like a cool time to kind of. I'll pull back for a second and really dig into you guys.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
But no, anytime you ask a question, I'm always going to answer that question 99 out of 100 times. I really prioritize the questions that I get. on any of the social channels and try to answer them as best I can and as in detail.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
And a lot of times I try to do it with video responses if the platform makes that available because I just think the, I think video and hearing someone talk and answer back is oftentimes a lot better and more valuable than just a typed response in the comments. But leave your comments or leave your questions and I will always get those answered. All right, let's move on to question number three.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
as we cruise along here in this Q&A session. This one comes from Joah. How do you balance, there's that word again, that grind with avoiding burnout, or is that just part of it? So we're not gonna address the balance part again. Let's talk about burnout. I picked this question because I wanted to talk about burnout. Burnout is absolutely positively real.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Now, I do think burnout is the result of believing that balance is possible. I think that's part of it. If we believe balance is possible, we get burnout because we're trying to, You know, we're trying to burn every wick, right? We're trying to be everything to everyone.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
We're trying to have a great morning routine, have a great night routine, be a great partner, be a great, you know, be great to our loved ones, be present with our kids, also kill it at work, also kill it at gym, also eat healthy. It's so much and understand that we start every day. We start every single day with a given amount of willpower.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Routine, Willpower, and Winning: Secrets to Crushing Your Day
Think of it like a video game for those of you who play video games or have ever played in the past. You start the game, this being every single day, with a given amount of energy. And every decision that we have to make pulls from that energy meter a certain amount. Small decisions, small activities will pull a small amount.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Retirement Fallacy: Embracing Fulfillment Now | Derek Coburn
in a crude laboratory in the basement of his home.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Retirement Fallacy: Embracing Fulfillment Now | Derek Coburn
In a crude laboratory in the basement of his home.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous conversation for you today with Anne-Marie Anderson, 35-year veteran of ESPN, on-air personality, now has a best-selling book, Captivating Audacity. And what I love about Anne-Marie is her approach to breaking through the barriers that keep us from getting to where we want to go.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Do you think that it's insecurity, ego? What are the characteristics that we all deal with that –
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
maybe stop us from doing what you did because because I think a lot of people listening I think a lot of people are listening nodding going what she said and what she did makes a complete sense yet I think less than one percent of the people listening would probably do what you did to get to get that opportunity so what are some of the things that maybe if some again we're thinking we're self-evaluating here as you're talking through this idea of audacity and sticky floor like what
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
What are some of the things that could be holding us back? Is it if I do that, people are going to judge me? Is it I don't want my ego to get hurt? Is it that I just doubt I'm good enough to get that job? Like what are those limiting beliefs?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And if you have thoughts, comments, if you just want to give a fist pound to Anne-Marie for being on here and appreciate her time, YouTube is ultimately the place that I collect all your feedback. I reply to all the comments and I use it as an indication of what topics we should be addressing and what future guests we should bring onto the show to put in front of you. I love you for being here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
I tend to give these little monologues to my children when we're in the car. They love that, don't they? Yeah. I mean, I did have this like parenting moment of bliss where my younger son said something about a game, negative about himself. And my older son turned around and like, bop, bop, bop, like in a, not an accusatory way, in like a, But it was, like, something I had said to him.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
You know what I mean? He's like, you're better than that. Like, never let your coach tell you you can't do, you know, whatever. And then he turned around, and I, like, sat there for a second. I was like, oh, my God. They're listening.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Yeah, that's – oh, what amazing. That's like a life – that's like something you'll remember the rest of your life. What a tremendous moment. Yeah. It's – you know, I grew up in a very kind of poor environment. I had good parents, but they kind of were just getting by. You know, we just – I wasn't getting life lessons in the car. Right. It was like, you know, I was it was kind of latchkey style.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
When I explain the way I was raised to my children, they look at me and they're like, oh, I'm like, yeah, like practice would end. And I would just sit there until either grandpa or grandma came to pick me up. I had no idea when they were showing up. You know what I mean?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Like I would just sit there and they're like, because, you know, because my kids, if you're not there five minutes early, they're having them, you know, they're like, oh, my God, you know. I totally know. So, you know, I didn't get these lessons. So I feel this obligation to kind of give them some of these life lessons.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And one of the things I say to them all the time is like, never let someone else dictate your future. Like, never let them. It doesn't mean they can't or won't push you in certain directions, but that only applies if you then stop, right? If because of that you stop, but if you keep going and keep pushing, eventually you're going to move past that person.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
I know you're going to enjoy this conversation. Let's get on to Anne-Marie Anderson.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And that is such a hard lesson to get into people because – I think, you know, it feels like everything is caught on camera today. And if you do, you know, we see, you know, you see someone who maybe you respect has a bad moment. And now all of a sudden that bad moment is plastered everywhere. And it's all anyone's talking about. It feels like everything is on display.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And, you know, I said to them, I go, if you knew, because they really like Kobe Bryant, they love Kobe Bryant, which, thank goodness, if they take on his work ethic and whatever it is they choose to do in their life, they're going to be fine. But I'm like, if you actually dig into Kobe's life,
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
There's a lot of moments in there that, you know, are not bright, shining moments like we see some of them on on Instagram or whatever. But like there's a lot of stuff that isn't good. But what I said, the lesson from Kobe is not his jump shot or how he prepared. It was that the guy literally never stopped. Like he just didn't stop.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Like there was there was no one until his body physically wouldn't allow him to play the game anymore anymore. He did not stop moving forward, which is what made him so great, you know, maybe in addition to a couple other things. And...
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
you know, in this idea of audacity and, you know, kind of removing ourselves from the sticky floor, you know, if you're in front of a group or you're doing one of your workshops, you know, how do you coach people to keep going through these moments and see past these no's so that they do try again? They do try again.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Like, you know, are there any like mantras or mindsets or advice that you have for them so that that next no they get doesn't stop them from continuing to pursue that thing?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Yeah, I it's funny when you talk to athletes, entrepreneurs, you know, anyone who's who's had a successful career. When you when you like dig in and you have that casual off the cuff conversation, you never hear the stories where they won. Those are never the stories that they tell.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
I had this idea for a company, and I raised this money, and then I blew it here, and this didn't work, and the market changed, and I made this mistake, and this fell apart. But in my next company, I fixed that problem. It's funny. So many people avoid loss, avoid loss, play it safe, sit back, the sticky floor. I'm not ready yet. Mm-hmm.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And I'm blessed to be able to have this platform and bring on incredible people like yourself, right? And they tell these stories. They always only want to talk about the mistakes they made because it's like they wear those as the badges of honor, not the accolades and the awards and the exits. They want to talk about the places where they messed up, and those are the badges of honor.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And I think that message is just – it's like – If the most successful people in whatever it is you do wear their losses as their badges of honor, why is it that you avoid loss at all costs, right? Like it just doesn't line up.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Amory, it's great to have you on the show. Thanks so much for taking the time to come on today.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Yeah, yeah. I love shows where I completely fumble the ball and, you know, we start as a complete mess because I feel like it adds a whole dynamic and energy to getting into it. But it's just, you know, I'm reading the book, Cultivating Audacity, and I look at the way that you approach topics and in the way that you look through topics
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
So I just did a TEDx talk two weeks ago. Congratulations. Thank you. It was a really cool experience. But I've probably done north of 350 keynotes in my life. I've been doing it for 15 years. Rarely do I get that energy that you get when you're going to be in front of an audience, but I don't get the anxiety anymore. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
But for this talk, all of a sudden, it was like the first time all over again where my like muscles are tense. My I can't you know, I can't remember sections like like I just was, you know, all of a sudden I became I went reverted all the way back to like that first time. And. I'm pacing in the lobby outside.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
I'm reading my notes as if reading them again for the thousandth time is going to get them into my brain. And I'm doing exactly what you just said, right? I mean, here I am this deep into my career and I'm all the way back to like, I'm going to skip this section and then I'm not going to hit this point.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And then I'm going to mess up this experience that I've been working on for a year that I've been, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like going through this whole thing. And finally I like sat down and thank God I had a very good friend who came to the event and was just,
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
sit in the audience and he looked at me and he's like dude you're gonna do great and like I had this moment of like The only reason I feel this way is because, just like you said, I have catastrophized this experience and created this entire scenario that has not happened in the future of all these things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And as soon as I, like, shopped that and, you know, and thank God that he was there and he said what he said because it was just like this awakening. And all of a sudden, I just go, well, whatever's going to happen is going to happen. Here we go. And, you know, then went out and actually there was a slide snafu, you know, two slides in. Whoever was running because...
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Like TEDx events are very produced. So like someone's running the slides and they after my second slide, someone back on the panel must have hit a button and it went to like the main screen. like went off of my slides to like the backdrop that sits in between speakers, right? So now I'm in the little red dot and my confidence monitor is now showing something that's not supposed to be there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And I just, you know, I kind of took a pause as if I meant to, right? And it was probably five seconds at most, maybe three seconds. It felt like a lifetime, but, and then it went back to my slide and then I came back in and finished and it ended up being, you know, I was very happy with what I did. But like...
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
it's so like literally the catastrophe happened, but if I was still in that, I love this term that you use catastrophizing. That's you should trademark that. If that's not already true, you should, uh, this catastrophizing mindset, then I completely fall apart in that moment. Right. Cause I'm, I'm this, Oh, this is what I expected to happen. And it happened and bubble.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And instead I just like took a long pause. Like I would, if I were doing a normal keynote for a second, as if I was gathering myself or going to deliver some powerful line moment. Yeah. Right back to it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
So it literally was the difference between what you said, like instead of projecting out all these terrible things, which is which I think comes back to when we're talking about the reason why people are so afraid of no is because they take that one no. And then they create this entire timeline of horrible things that are going to happen from it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And it's just like, what if you did the same exercise, except everything that happens after that no is amazing. How much less do you care, right? It's such a wonderful thought.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
you know, the filter that you're putting your thoughts through. And I'm very interested how...
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Yeah. And oftentimes those around us, they they respect the effort as much as they respect the win. Right. The win comes with more accolades. But from a respect of peers and people around you, you know, they may say like, oh, I wouldn't want to fail like that on TV or whatever. Yeah. But at the same time, in the back of their head, they're like. But shit, she did it. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
She put herself out there like I wouldn't have done that. Like, that's pretty impressive. So it's almost like there's going to be positives that come out of it, even if you can't imagine them. And there's going to be someone, you know, again, just to the voice point, if people don't like your voice, they've been miserable listening to my podcast because my voice is not even what you want. Yeah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
But, you know, but like there's always going to be someone who watches that and goes. Yeah, she kind of messed that up. But, jeez, I really like the way she did this one thing at the end. Like, I could see that in my program. Like, I'd really like her to maybe come do... So there's... But no one would see that if you didn't do it. And I just love that. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
like how did coming into an organization like ESPN, you know, being on camera and starting at such starting that career at such a young age, like how much have you changed or your mental change or your mindset matured from say those early days when you first get in the door and it's probably bright lights and so much, so everything's so exciting. I mean, ESPN is a very exciting organization.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Well, you don't have the three Emmy Awards that are sitting off your shoulder if you're not willing to be out in front of people and get criticized. Like, it's just you can't have the one without the other. Right. There's a reason you didn't win those awards because every moment from moment one to the moment that you're getting the award was perfect. That doesn't happen, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Like, there's just absolutely no way. There's no way to learn the lessons that you need to learn if you do not have the failures. So it's almost like we need to start, we need to reframe our mindset from accumulating victories to accumulating failures because... to one of the first things you said, we have to detach from the outcome. The outcome literally can't matter.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Um, I had John Azaroff on the podcast a few weeks ago, um, brilliant neuroscience guy. Um, and he, he was talking about, um, slightly different topic, but he brought up this idea that, uh, fear and excitement light up the same neural pathways in our brain. So he's like, if that's the case, then literally all you have to tell your brain is it's excitement, not fear.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Now, again, easier said than done, but he's like, he's like, Your brain is acting the exact same way as if you were completely excited and energized with zero fear as it would as if you have the fear, like the same pathways are lighting up.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
So just reframe that fear as excitement and it will help take down your anxiety and your stress because now you're energized to do the thing, not feeling anxious to do the thing. And sometimes I think these little mind hacks are, you know, stack enough of them on top of each other and eventually you find one that works, right? Yeah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And then having a 35 year career that that's continuing the ESPN and coming through all that, like, like, What has that evolution been for you? And when you look back, maybe what's the what's one of the big things that you see different about you today as it was when you first started out?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Yeah. And I think a little bit of fear is a good thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Like it keeps you leveled. Like if you were if you were taking on a big task, like if I had approached that TEDx talk or you had approached, you know, your your first time on live TV was zero fear. Well, now you might approach it cavalier. You might miss something like there's a reason fears in our body and it's not, it's not always a negative, right? It's right. It heightens our senses.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
It makes us more aware. It dials us in and focuses us. I mean, you know, when you're truly scared, you're as focused as focus gets. So these are all really positive things, especially when you're engaging in a really strong moment, like, you know, to, to, to believe that, to believe, you know,
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
To believe that you should be void of fear, I think, is completely misunderstanding the way your body works and the way your brain works.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
So many people talk about the glass ceiling or, you know, kind of, outsourcing the reasons that we are not able to get where we want to go. Amory repositions it as the sticky floor, allowing ourselves to remain attached to the base nature of what we do. This is an incredible conversation. She has amazing stories, sports personality, just dynamic, been all over the world.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
It definitely is. The people who achieve things, they they this this mindset that you have addressed in your book and this idea of audacity, like there are so many stories of some of the most most
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
widely read most most most award-winning books and they'll be like 17 rejections 59 rejections 37 rejections right and it's like and people don't ever they just think well the first you know he must have had publishers banging down his door she must have had you know the first publisher she sent it to picked it up and it's like one that's almost never the case and two it's it's just this there's also something to and and and and you know tell me how you feel about this like
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Sometimes that gatekeeper to the thing that you want to do, part of their process is to see if you'll come back. Like they may even think you're a good fit, but tell you no to see if you'll try again because it's that resilience and commitment that goes, okay, she's a primetime player. Like I told her no, even though she knows she probably was qualified for this.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
She came back again despite the no. Yeah. I got a winner. Like it's a gatekeeping tactic for some people to see if you're willing to do it. And if you give in, well, now you've just played right into what they were trying to filter out. Even if you were the perfect fit for that job.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Something that I've pulled from our conversation today is a general sense of self-awareness. Like you seem to evaluate yourself, your performance in both the moment and maybe who you are. Like, where do you think, like, is that a learned trait? Do you think it's innate to you that you're self-aware? Or do you think this is something you have developed this ability to say?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Because I don't think a lot of people would drive back and be mad at themselves. Maybe a little, but I think a lot of people would then spin it to, well, they just didn't see what I could do. And I got all this potential and blah, blah, blah. Right. Like I was a college athlete.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Like, of course, I think instead you're driving back mad at yourself and willing to write them a letter and say, you know, this wasn't my best performance. I know I can do better. And here's the take that given another opportunity, I could give you this like this. There's an incredible amount of self-awareness that goes into that. So is it learned? Is it not?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And if it is learned, how does someone who maybe struggles with self-awareness today, if they struggle with self-awareness, maybe they don't know that they struggle with self-awareness, but if they did, let's say, how could someone maybe possibly work being more self-aware into their lives?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
That's what excites me. Amory Anderson, the book is Cultivating Audacity. This has been a tremendous conversation. I have I've absolutely adored it. And I think, you know, this is your book is a is is a it's a playbook for what we've talked about today for stepping outside of yourself for moving forward for making those big moves.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
We'll absolutely, guys, have a link to the book in the show notes or YouTube description, wherever you're watching or listening. But where else can people get more of you and get deeper into your world? Do you have a newsletter or whatever? Where can people kind of connect with you and go deeper?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
It is 3 a.m.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
So I have two young kids, 11 and 9. They play sports. Very competitive guy. I played sports in college as well. And... I look at, you know, I pass everything through and it's probably, I don't know, maybe it's boring to some people, but I think through my coaching experience. I coach them both now.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And I think through those coaching experiences and apply that to a lot of what I see in the business environment and what's going on. And it feels very much like, and maybe this moment in time, things are starting to switch back, but it feels like for a very long time,
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
competition was almost seen as a negative right like it's not whether you win or lose it's how you play the game and you know all the trophy stuff which which i know is like a cliche that has been overused so much but but there's also a reality to it right like it wasn't about winning it wasn't about applying yourself at 100 it was like well you showed up and that's the win and i
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
I just struggle with those type of platitudes because when I look at reality, what it actually means to be out in the business environment, having started my own businesses and had big wins, big fails, it's not whether you show up or not. There's no victory in showing up. Maybe psychologically there's a victory, but there's certainly not
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
in the real world, it's, you actually have to get in, like you said, be audacious, compete, try things, like get, get numbers on the board. One, do you, do you agree that maybe it's certainly in our society to a certain extent competition has been frowned upon. And do you think the idea of, of being competitive and trying to win is, In a healthy way, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Obviously, we see the clips on social media of people who are maybe unhealthy in competition. Do you think that is an important skill set and mentality to cultivate, especially in, say, maybe people that are in their early 20s that are starting out in their career?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
You are going to love this conversation. And I promise you, if you are struggling to break through to the success that you have on your brain, that you dream about, this is going to be a conversation that will give you the tools that you need to get there. Before we talk to Anne-Marie, I just want to say, as always, thank you for being here, guys. It means so much to me that you spend your time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Yeah, I think that's a really good point. I think that it's probably like all things, there's a scale, right? There's showing up and just being there physically and not applying yourself. And I think that's the version of showing up that maybe I like to dispel or like to fight against. But I completely agree with you. And I've seen it in my own career, just... you just have to keep coming back.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Like, you know, try the next thing, try the next thing. It's funny. We, we, uh, our basketball season just ended and, uh, we lost a really, we lost, we played very poorly and lost by a lot in our last game of the season. It was a tough way to go out. Right. And, uh, my son after the game, it's very disappointed. He was kind of frustrated.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And, uh, you know, he, he, you know, said a couple of things to me and I just like, I was like, look, man, you're 11 years old. Do you know how much better you will be next year because you just got your ass kicked than it was if you were on the other side and just dominated the other team?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Because you just were dribbling in the parking lot while you were waiting for me to get all the gear in the thing. You know what I mean? You're more motivated to come back and try again because you competed and had that loss and you learned from it. And I think, you know, we've...
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
I think a lot of people look at the loss as the end when really it's just, as you said, I love that you put this way because I think of it the same way. It's a data point. It's one data point in a series of where you're trying to go. I love that idea.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
I want to jump to something that I didn't necessarily have on the docket, but you mentioned it when we were talking before we went live, and I want you to dig into this concept. I think it's where we are in the conversation, this idea of a sticky floor. Can you break this down for us? And let's dive into this idea.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
I know there's so many shows out there, so many things that could take your attention. And the fact that you choose to be part of this community, listen to this show, means the world to me. And I hope that you feel the energy, passion, commitment to give it back to you and to continue to bring on amazing guests, as well as doing the individual solo shows that I drop once a week.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's funny, you throw out these concepts and then you start thinking about your own career. And I think about my own hiring process, right? And what I look for when I'm hiring people for my companies. And I think I look for the person, like I used to say this, I wanna work with people with a limp. I'm always looking for people with a limp, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Like I want that person who's battered and bruised and scarred up and maybe he's a little rough around the edges, but I know that when shit gets hectic, They're the ones that are going to find the solution that are going to work the extra hour that aren't going to, you know, say, well, my day ends at four 30. So I'm going home. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Like, and again, it's not always about putting more hours in or whatever, but I get you want like that perfectly polished. Like there's this, this image I think in a lot of people's heads. And I just love the way that this idea of sticky floor just completely resonates. I just love it. It it's like, there's so many people that wait until they're this perfectly polished version of themselves.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
And again, I think any company that you actually wanna work for, that leader is looking at you going, I know that's not who you really are because that's who no one is, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Like, I wanna see the dirty, grimy version of you that's gonna come in on a Tuesday after you just, you know, you went home and you had 15 things going on at home and you didn't get any sleep because you got a baby and you show up on, what's that version are you gonna give me? And if I believe that that version's gonna push through and be good for us, even despite you're not at 100%, you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
So you know what you want?
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
that dive into specific topics related to business, personal development, that help you grow, and make all your wildest dreams come true. Because if we're not going after all our wildest dreams, then what the hell are we doing, right? If you do enjoy this show, I would love for you to subscribe wherever you listen or watch. If you're on YouTube, like the show. tell a friend.
The Ryan Hanley Show
ESPN Emmy Award Winner Reveals Her SECRET to Career Motivation - Anne Marie Anderson
Yeah. So if someone's listening to this and they're doing maybe a little self-awareness and they're like, man, how do you break free of the sticky floor? If that's a problem that you have, how do you start to break free of that mentality? Okay. You ready?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous conversation for you today with Mark J. Kohler. He is the founder of Main Street Tax Pro, where he has trained tens of thousands of tax professionals as well as Main Street business owners to become certified in understanding how to maximize their activity around their taxes, how they pay the least and get the most back, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
actively used against us around the world. Yes. They're all completely used to it. It's how they make revenue is tariffing goods that would come in from the United States. We just haven't done it in return. So it's not like we're this bully who just decided to all of a sudden start pushing tariffs on everyone.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
This is what's been happening to our manufacturers in our country, which is why so many of our manufacturing plants moved. I mean, it's not the only reason. But it is part of the reason is if they then move their manufacturing operations into foreign entities, now they can actually sell at a reduced rate in those countries. So it's – and then we wonder where the jobs go, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
It's like – but there's so many layers to this that I think it becomes very confusing for people. Yeah. And I want to get to the World Economic Forum in a minute because I did not know you went there, and I'm incredibly interested. But I guess my last question on this topic before we move is if you're a Main Street business owner or you're just interested and you're trying to become more informed,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Besides coming and following your content, which, guys, I would highly, highly recommend. I am not just stroking Mark's ego. It is incredible. Tax, general business, business formation, all this kind of stuff, wonderful, wonderful content. So we're going to direct everyone to you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Where else, how else do people start to set up information filters in their life so that they can get information that isn't necessarily biased one way or the other or maybe has the least amount of bias that they can start to download and understand these issues on their own?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Yeah, so I want to get right into the meat and potatoes of something that just came out. Trump just released his proposed tax cuts. There's a ton of stuff in there, right? And then there's all this information coming from, we'll call them people who don't agree with Trump or tend to not agree with him.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
And there's a lot of information that I think and I'm getting people reaching out to me and I don't know anything about taxes. But buddies are like, hey, how does this impact us? Is this what he promised, et cetera? So, you know, I guess maybe let's start with the extension of like the tax cuts and Jobs Act in terms of like what he had in place before he's kind of bringing back.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
yeah i think that's a really good point it is okay to not like him not have voted for him but still engage in his economy in a way that's productive for everybody like it's it's the way that it is and i agree with you i mean i just look at the super bowl advertisements the the the way that it was displayed i mean you have you know kendrick lamar out there with red white and blue everywhere you know what i mean like
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
It was a very different Super Bowl than we've seen the last few years.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Yeah, it really was fun to, like – I mean, I just remember I'm sitting there with my kids and some friends, and I just kept whacking everybody, like, are we back? Are we back? It was like, is it okay to, like – You know, be pro-America again. I mean, I always have. Isn't that weird? But it's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's funny. I'll give you this anecdote. I want to get to the WEF.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
So I live in New York State. Very, very – well, my area, I live in upstate, so it tends to be more red, but it's blue in general, right? Yeah. And during the first Trump presidency, if you had a Trump campaign in 2016, if you had a Trump sign out, there were people driving around ripping them out, etc. So in August of this year, I put out two signs.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
I put out, you know, Trump sign, and then I put out presidents are temporary, but Wu-Tang is forever. And I spaced them about 10 feet apart. And the best part was even my Democrat friends that were walking by my house when they're walking their dog or whatever, like, Oh, I like your signs. They're like, I wish I could, you know, I wish I could put them out, but like no one ripped them down.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
No one, no one stole them. And like, that was like a sign for me very early that I was like, something is changing because there was so much energy. I think people are starting to realize that being America first, focusing on main street, coming back to our communities, you know, really dialing into our day-to-day lives and getting out of all this, this kind of,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
you know except we're focusing on these exceptions instead of what what really the core of growing our country is it's it's an exciting time and i'm with you i think it's time to you know if you've got capital on the side you know now's the time to have your antennas up be looking to deploy be looking to see what's going on because i think opportunity is going to be everywhere over the next four years so coming off of that let's talk about the world economic forum one
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
very cool you're there. What is it like for someone who's obviously never been? I'm very interested. What's it like? And then maybe why you went and what you took away.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
And maybe just in general, break down for us, is this really tax cuts for the labor class, for the middle class, for Main Street, as he promised and as it seems? Or is this, as we're kind of being told from the other side, a backdoor into tax cuts for billionaires and all his oligarchical friends?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
What's going to happen here? You get your bunker assigned to you at that time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really interesting. What... This idea that, you know, that's contrary to, I think, what most people are listening to. I think most people listening were probably like, oh, we're we're Americans. We're, you know, Wild West gunslingers, you know, the frontier like we think big, you know, everything is everything's bigger here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
And I can see that, you know, so I come out of the insurance industry. My home industry is the insurance industry, property casualty. And, you know, it's it's so the regulation, the way people think it actually has compartmentalized it down to where most people can't think outside their state because the states are individually regulated for insurance, etc.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
And, you know, it's a big deal for someone to go from one state to two states to multi-state, etc., And the idea of thinking that you can take an American insurance product or insurance company and expand it internationally is also very foreign. So in my own industry, I can kind of see that. But I would expect like tech or B2C products, brand products, that that would almost be a natural fit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
How – From your conversations, how would you recommend someone who's listening start to think a little bigger about what's out there, and how would you actually do that?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Yeah, I love that. And so I work in AI and insurance now. I had my own commercial insurance agency that I grew and sold. And when I exited that, I became the board member of an AI company that eventually sucked me in because I was so interested in the tool and what we were doing that now I'm the chief growth officer. But I look at it and there's a lot of hand-wringing around AI.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
AI and what, what it's going to do, particularly our product is focused on the insurance industry. So there's a lot of insurance pressles that are now thinking themselves, well, I used to have to stamp 10 TPS reports and slide them across my desk. And then I'd file them over here. And now all of that can be done digitally and all of it can be done digitally without me having to input it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
So like, what the hell do I do? And what I find, you know, what I've been advocating and where I see us going is we start to, you know, all tasks, all, non-expertise-driven tasks are going to be, we'll call them AI-itized out of the system. It's just coming. However, what that does allow us to do is move into fields that are more human-to-human oriented, like what you just described, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
That could be a sales position. It could be a phone position, because while I do know AI can do voice. I still believe that most consumers with problems beyond just maybe like simple credit card changes or whatever, they're going to want to talk to a human. They're going to want to connect.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
And I actually had a woman on the show recently, and she's talking about how most brands are going to move from their why to their who. And it's starting to become, I want to do business with Mark because I like his style. I like the way he dresses. I like the energy that he brings. I like his take on things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
And, you know, now I'm not necessarily interested in why you're here, but I really like you. I like you, the person. I like the way you deliver it. I like how you talk to me that I believe you care, et cetera. And there is what the beauty of that move. And this is where I'm interested in your take. If you agree or not is you, it gives every single human the ability to offer their max value.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Because no longer is it my value as I show up, I punch in at eight, I slide TPS reports across my desk for eight hours, and then I punch out and I go home, right? It's I what is the unique thing that I can bring to this company, to this set of customers, et cetera. And I can start to I can deliver that in a way that is unique to me that cannot be replaced. And I think it's going to be difficult.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
It's a culture change for a lot of people, particularly those that have been in big organizations. But the amount of opportunity that it creates is so immense and so exciting that, you know, regardless of what the conversation is around A.I., I can't be more optimistic about where we're headed with it included in our marketplace. So that's kind of my take. I'm super interested in yours.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Yeah, I follow Naval Ravikant on Twitter and he's just an amazing follower wherever you can get his content. And he posts these like one sentence things that just like grab you, right? He's got this way of being very succinct, but also very powerful. And this wasn't revolutionary, but he's huge into the AI space and technology. He's been an investor in all these things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
And he had this simple tweet that was, I'm paraphrasing a little bit. It was basically like, if you think like an entrepreneur, AI will never be a problem, right? And that you just highlighted the one place where I see the most pain as AI becomes a deeper part of our culture is the individuals who
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
they're willing to or have succumbed to just showing up, transacting, whatever widget or TPS report is part of their job or the company they're with, and then they go home. And I think if they're doing that in an effort to support, say, a side hustle or a passion or whatever, well, then there's still opportunity there because now...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
AI brings the potential to bring that passion to make it a full-time career. However, if you're the, you know, wake up 30 minutes before the alarm, go to work, you know, take your lunch break, your two 15 minutes, come home, you know, order DoorDash, throw on Netflix, go to sleep, do it again the next day. it's going to be a very painful transition for those people.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
And if, if you, you know, my, almost my recommendation for anyone listening is if you, if you are that person, although if you're listening to the show, I'd be surprised if you are, but if you know someone like that, there's someone in your company like that and you've,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Feel, you know, maybe that that sense of wanting to help in some way, starting to have these conversations with friends or you're in your mastermind groups or in your, you know, guys night out bowling or drinking or whatever, starting to have these conversations with your friends that you care about to wake them up because it's coming and it's coming faster than anybody else.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Anybody who's not involved, it's coming faster than they could have ever imagined.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Yeah, you got to bring back the Eagles theme. You got the Bradley Cooper look going to there. No, the reason I love that idea, and I've been looking at some of those tools and just researching them a little bit as well, is that what it frees you up to do is go have more experiences, more conversations, think deeper about topics. You can spend more time digging in and getting your hands around
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
your understanding of topics like you know what we started the conversation about the the trump tax cut proposals right and really dig in give that information to the ai and then go back and spend more time out in the world interacting with people learning right so it's like
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
If you also had to deliver all that information, it takes away from your time learning, experiencing, growing, gathering more. So it's like it creates this repository that will not go away. That is the accumulation of what you know. And it frees you up to go expand and become even deeper in your understanding so that you can feed the thing more and deeper and richer information.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
To me, it's the future of how content is delivered. I think it's fantastic. Can't wait to have you back on the show, man. You have free, you know, open invitation anytime you want. I could talk to you for another hour and it would be easy. Obviously, the YouTube channel I want to drive people to. But where else, if they want to get deeper into your world, should they go?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
I'm optimistic. America's back, baby. Thank you, Mark. Thanks, man. Awesome, dude. That was great.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
How you do it right, how you build a business properly set up for taxes. And Mark's expertise goes so far beyond that. While he's kind of come out of the tax and legal environment, his expertise has expanded well beyond just tax and legal into Main Street business operations.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
And hopefully it's going to work. Before we get to how he's going to pay for it, one of the things I'd really like to, with each topic that we address today, I would love to get into kind of the almost like How are people who are fighting this, right? Because, you know, I follow along with what's going on. You hear Elizabeth Warren. You hear Chuck Schumer. You hear Bernie Sanders.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
And everything they say, you know, AOC, these guys stand up or they go on social media, and it's just this drumbeat of this doesn't help anybody but the elite. This is just him glad-handing his friends. You know, how... How are they – like, is that argument just completely based in false narrative?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Like, how do – if you're sitting here and you're not educated, right, you don't follow along with what these things are going on, and you just pop your head in and you hear these two sides, how is someone supposed to start to really make up their own mind? Like, how do we sort through all this – conversation and to me feels so often like a very intellectually dishonest take on what's happening.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Insofar as this year, he was invited to Davos for the World Economic Forum to speak to the international community about small business in the United States. We dig into the Trump tax cuts or the proposed tax cuts and how they can impact us as Main Street business owners and everyday operators here in the U.S., as well as so many other topics. You're going to love this one.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
So I've been in sales, marketing my whole life, leadership, negotiation positions. And so I'm always kind of analyzing the argument that people make. And I'm very intrigued by how the left makes arguments. Because one, I often disagree with the core of the argument, or most of the time. However...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
they still make these arguments and they're politicians or they're talking heads so this is what they do for a living so intelligent yes and they're and they're not dummies right so like like i was listening to elizabeth warren as she was grandstanding about the treasury or the federal court a circuit court judge blocking uh doge's access to the to the treasury information or limiting their access right and she's standing up there and claiming this as a win for the american people yet
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
This organization in a very short period of time, in this case, Doge, has found all this incredible waste. And I'm like, okay, if I'm trying to make this argument, and I'm just interested in your take as someone who's also in the business space and have done all the deals that you've done, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
If I'm going to make this argument that Trump is evil, how – like the proper way to argue this would be to concede the small points in which he is making wins, right? There is obviously fraud happening in the system that cannot – like at this point, it can't be denied. Yet they will stand up there, completely ignore that, and make this argument that it's all about the oligarchs. So –
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Is it truly that they're just so... I mean, your belief is it that they're so captured? And I'm trying to get to how we work these things out in our head if we're not as involved as maybe you and I are, right? Is it just that they're so captured? Could it be that the corruption is so deep they don't want to lose their money train? Or is it honestly that...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
They've just lost the narrative because they live in this tiny little bubble and they just simply don't see or that that these things that the American people, the boots on the ground, American people are looking at, you know, eight million dollars for DEI studies in some other country that's not here. And they just can't relate to that. Like, like.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
High energy, lots of enthusiasm, tons of impact. Get ready. Buckle up. Here comes Mark J. Kohler.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Continuing down the USAID path and Doge, how does the work that Doge is doing, finding these things, how will that trickle back down for someone who is Main Street? They own a coffee shop. They own some rental properties in town. How does that work in all these stories? How does that trickle down and actually impact us on Main Street?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
Yeah, no, and I think you just made a wonderful point that I think a lot of people are unaware of is taking Germany as a use case, taking China as a use case. There are a lot of countries that we import a tremendous amount of their goods, and it's not that – and I think this is what maybe someone who doesn't spend as much time in this information wouldn't realize.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Mark J Kohler's EXPERT Analysis Of Trump's Tax Cuts Plan
It's not that they just don't buy our stuff. They don't allow our stuff in or they're tariffing us to sell our our materials, whatever those be in in their country. So it's it's this idea in the pushback around the tariff. And I get that it scares people. Right. It's different. It's not what generations of Americans today are used to, et cetera. However, it is a tool that is absolutely.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous conversation for you today with Jay Campbell, five-time international bestselling author, men's physique champion, and co-founder of BioLongevity Labs. He is widely held as a foremost expert in hormonal optimization, therapeutic peptides, and overall healing. human performance.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
I go in, I sit down, pee in the cup. take the blood pressure sitting there. I'm ready for my body scan, right? I'm ready for her to poke and prod and pull and push. No time. Comes in, sits down, says, here's your, how do you feel? I said, I feel fine. She hands me a slip to go get blood work. And she says, great. Well, I'll call you if there's anything wrong. Exactly. That's how it is.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
That was the whole thing. And I said, and I like, I'm like, well, aren't you going to do an exam? She goes, oh no, everything just comes down to your blood work. And I was like, well, if that's true, then why do I need you? Because I can get prescriptions online from doctors. I can get my blood work online. I can get more detailed panels. She wasn't ordering my test.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So one of the things that you said before the show as well that I would love to just get a little tactical is maybe break down those testosterone. What are the difference between the different testosterone numbers that we see and what should we care about when we're looking at these charts ourselves?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Yeah, so I want to start on a very personal note. Some of the listeners of the show may have heard me talk about this in the past, but for those who haven't, I'll just hit it real quick.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Last January, so I live in the north, live in Albany, New York, and used to the winters, used to the normal kind of decline that you feel when you haven't seen the sun for, you know, 100 days and all that kind of stuff. you know, and have developed ways of getting through that. But last January, it was like, I ran into a brick wall. It was like, I'm 43 years old at the time.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
And it's like, it was as if there was nothing there. There was nothing to pull from. You know what I mean? It's like, normally, you know, you have a good day, you have a bad day, whatever. But like, there was just, there was, I had zero and I couldn't figure out what it was. And I heard, I think, Atiyah or Huberman on one of the podcasts talking about testosterone and different markers.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Yeah. No, I, it's funny. I, I, uh, I have people because, again, going back to the coaching part, you know, I'm all over the place. I love it. You know what I mean? It's just I feel like I get to be a kid again and run around. You know, my son's 11, so it's just tons of fun. And, you know, we have all – and people come up to me and they'll be like, man, how do you have the energy for this?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
And I'm like – This is like, what are you talking about? This is great. You know what I mean? I love this shit. And it's just a different world. And I want to give you an example of, and just for, again, for everybody at home, and I'm sure you've had these conversations with your doctors, like I have high cholesterol. I've had high cholesterol my entire life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
So I got tested, and my testosterone was 70, which put me in the seventh percentile, according to that company or whatever, of all men. And I got on an oral kind of... I have the name. I took a picture of it so I could share it with you here. The name of it is enclomiphene. Enclomiphene. Enclomiphene. Yep. So just under the under the tongue oral non, you know, I wasn't taking shots or whatever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Since I was eight years old, I've had high cholesterol. It's just genetic. By the way, that's genetic. Yeah, genetic. It's just genetic high cholesterol, okay? No matter what I do, I've never been able to get it below 190, and I'm usually between 200 and 300 at any given time, okay?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
So my doctor's like, you know, if you have another high cholesterol test, you know, we want to put you on Lipitor and all this kind of stuff, and I didn't want to do that. And I said, okay. I said, but... I said, I did some research, and what I found out is, one, because it's genetic, it has less of an impact on my body.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
I said, two, if I have zero plaque, then there's no issue with me having cholesterol between 200 and 300. So she goes, well, I guess I can order you a plaque test. I go, yeah, that's what I want you to do. So I go get the plaque test. The plaque test is zero. And she comes back, and she goes, well, I guess you don't need the Lipitor. And I said, you know what?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Think how many people, by the way, do not. Dude, this is the part that scares the shit out of me is like she had no problem just going, here's Lipitor. Here you go. Didn't even go, here's the side effects. Here's Lipitor. Have a nice day. And it's like, I don't even actually have a problem. If you would just go on one level deeper, I actually don't have a problem.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
And that helped a lot. And then my doctor also put me on some oralin. um, as well. And the combination of those two things brought my numbers way back. I, you know, depending on, you know, I've gotten tested a couple of times.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Oh, yeah, that probably even sounds low to me. I bet it's higher than that. Like, crazy. I mean, the way they give them out like candy at parties. It's nuts. Literally, dude. Candy. Yeah. I want to talk about GLP-1s for a minute. For sure. Because it came out super drugged. then the next wave of news articles we got was, don't believe the hype, we're actually killing you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
And now the narrative has kind of, from seemingly the people that are trying to actually help, has kind of come back around to, well, yeah, there's these benefits to potentially with weight loss, but now we're looking at things like, the reduction in cancer markers, elevated brain functionality.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
So can we, let's get into like, let's say you're optimizing your health from the standpoint of not just trying to lose weight. Maybe you have a little bit of weight you want to lose, whatever, but you're not, is a GLP-1 something I should look at to add into my mix to overall optimize my longevity and health?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
I'm usually between like seven 50 and 900 in terms of a testosterone now and feel, I mean, just different world in terms of, of how I feel in my energy, but also brain activity and, my ability to focus, like all these things came back in waves. And I have been trying to get as many people as I can, like yourself, who spent, this is what they do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Yeah, because there's no follow on. I mean, that's the other part, too. There's no follow on. So, OK, so. I'm very interested personally in this idea of microdosing GLP-1s and how do you go about it? Again, don't give away any secret sauce to what you do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
This is our life's work is helping people optimize their health to talk about these topics. Because as you said, and I would love for you to share this stat again, most people just go through life and feel like this is the way I'm supposed to feel. Like they just don't understand what is possible if they dig a little deeper.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
If you believe as I do that your physical fitness is a competitive advantage, not just in the activities we do, but in business and in life, lock in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Can some people actually pay a lot of money to get to liquid poop because of the constipation problems they have?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
You know, sometimes I think about, like, what would the world be if it wasn't for podcasts? And I don't mean that to be so trite. I mean, so you think about how many people, like, what you're sharing is information that even a decade ago we would have zero access to. Zero. Zero access to this information.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
And not that anyone has to believe you, but I guarantee that someone's mind is starting to go, hmm.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
man i i have had brain fog i have struggled to build muscle mass i have struggled with energy i do have that little pouch that i can't get rid of right like and i i just i just it's why i do this show it's why my show is so diverse and the guests that i have you know all really focused around performance and pushing forward in our lives but it's because this is the kind of shit that we can't get access to so so i i want to you you mentioned alcohol and marijuana and i have met
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
especially since weed became legal and I live in New York state. And now, you know, it seems like everybody's taking a gummy or smoking a little joint or whatever, right. Drinking a drink and, and then mixing that with alcohol. And now it used to be like, Oh, I have some fun on the weekends. And now it's like, this is what I need to wind down at the end of the night.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
So I'd really, I'm interested in, we've talked so much about things that create positive change in our lives and I'm very interested in the reality around alcohol and marijuana and the impact on what we've just discussed so far.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
There's so many. I'll be honest with you. You're in the right spot because I have so many thoughts on this particular topic. Enormous. I'm a Christian. Enormous believer in God. Was raised Catholic. I don't love Catholicism, although I still go occasionally. But I have a very distinct, real, and consistent relationship with God.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
And it's one of the reasons that I've always struggled, and this is tangential, but I'll make it brief, because I do have two more compounds that I want to ask you about and get your take on.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Yeah, I've always struggled with meditation because I do believe meditation works, right? But I feel like people replace a relationship with God with meditation because it feels easier and cleaner because it's, and they're, wow, there's some guy in the clouds, which is the most trite way of dismissing having a relationship with God.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
But the reason I've always struggled with meditation is you're clearing your mind and you're emptying this space, but then you're not filling it. And if you are filling it, you're filling it with your own with you and in a very selfish manner. And I've found and try to practice the idea that when you meditate, if you can then fill that space, if you meditate, it was just really just prayer.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
You can fill that space with God. And all of a sudden you feel this sense of connection, even if you're alone. And, and, and that really what I think everything, this, this, this sense of connection, Unhappy of anxiety of stress that you just that you just described is lone at its core its loneliness It's it's it's as empty. It's why it's it's why you have educated humans
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
arguing that men can be women. Like, when you see that, you're like, where could that thought come from, right? Like, and nothing against the trans community, nothing against, I have no problem with that. Like, my belief as an American is you get to do your shit, I get to do my shit. As long as you don't put your shit on me and I don't put it on you, we're all good, right? Okay.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
There are only two sexes, Ryan. Yeah, but there's only two sexes. I just, I don't understand how we can, how this is even a fucking discussion. I just don't get it. Like, Dude, so one of my best friends growing up, his brother was, we called him cross-dressers back in the day, but he was the number one cross-dressing dancer in New York City. He was a fucking celebrity.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
So he would come up to Albany, where I live, which is two and a half hours north of the city, and he would do these shows. And we would go. And they were fucking incredible. And no one messed with us. And it was fun. And everyone's laughing. There's gay dudes and dudes dressed like chicks. And it was all good. Right. And, but they weren't, none of them thought they were women. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
It was just like, I don't understand where we're at, but that mental illness is a different thing. Yeah. I want to come back to two specific compounds. You can take them whichever order and spend as much time as you want. But I'm very interested in nicotine and particularly the pouch delivery system. Right. And psilocybin. I'm interested in those two compounds and where they fall.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Valuable, not valuable use cases, et cetera.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
I'll be honest with you. I went very.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Have you ever had, I'm sorry to interrupt you. Have you ever had nicotine mixed with mom bay?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
That's one of my first. So I'm hyper, I'm hyperactive bipolar. Okay. And I found that, um, um, I found that mixing mom bay with nicotine. Yeah. is like... Incredible. Talk about like dialed in focus without any of the caffeine. Yeah, no legendary, no... I mean, trust me. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I just... No, you're good.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
This is a no-holds-barred, in-your-face episode that is going to give you some tactical guidance, particularly for men who are aging, who are looking to maintain their performance, their strength, their mental clarity into the second half of their life. Lock in on this episode because you are going to get everything you need to dial in your physical performance.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Yeah, I could talk to you all day, man. This stuff fascinates me. I actually, I did do deep dives into your YouTube channel. I didn't get into the nicotine stuff because I love the way you talk about it. I mean, I think it's very real. It's very actionable. And I think you're really dialed in to certainly the way I think
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
People who want to take ownership of their health need to think about these things. So I appreciate the hell out of you. I want to let everyone know that I'm going to get some links to some of the stuff that Jay talked about and make sure they're in the descriptions. Also, I want to make sure we get them over to you so they can check them out. Where's the best place?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Someone who's listening who's like, I got to get into this guy's world. What's the best way to do that?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Got it. Dude, appreciate you. Keep doing this work. Guys, highly recommend you jump over to jcampbell.com, check it out. And I will make sure I have all the links to the things that we discussed in the show notes. So just scroll down, whether you're on YouTube or whatever you listen to. Jay, appreciate it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Jay, here's the scary part. Everything I take today, I have no, like I've had to piece together. Your comments on my general practitioner. So my general practitioner is a perfectly fine human being. But... For lack of a better term. But essentially, like... I don't even know why I go to her. You know what I mean?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
And I mean that with all due respect to her, but like, you know, if I go, I get my own blood work. So I pay for these. So I've essentially had to, and again, this is the scary part, is like I have had to piece these things together by listening to people like yourself, reading tons of articles, researching companies online, talk, you know what I mean? Like this is only because I am this person
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
With that, I'm incredibly excited to share with you Jay Campbell.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
psychotic neurodivergent. Once I have a bone, I can't let it go type of human. That's the only reason I've gone down this path. Like the amount of work and I, and I don't know shit. And I'm fully aware of that with the amount of work I've done to still feel like, I don't know. That's the scary part. And it's why to your point.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
And, and, you know, I talk about this with some of my friends, like, you know, so my kids play baseball. And I coach and I love it and whatever. It's all good. I look around and my kids and I are very into being fit, you know, whatever. And freaking everybody's got a dad bod. Everybody. My son said to me the other day, and he wasn't being a jerk, right? I mean, he's just aware and noticing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
And he said, he goes, dad, You're the only one here without a dad bod.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Out of all the parents, all the fans, all the coaches, all the parents, the entire place, I was the only one that didn't have a gut sticking out of the front of my shirt. And I don't mean that to be so negative for those of you who are listening who may have that going on, but my point in having individuals like yourself in these conversations is that shouldn't be acceptable.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Like, not just because of the look. I don't mean it that way. It's not a judgmental on the look. It's... The reason you wake up feeling hung over, even though you didn't have a drink the night before, is because of what you're seeing in your midsection.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
In a crude laboratory in the basement of his home...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Jay, as someone who's been saying on this podcast for five years now that health is a competitive advantage in every aspect of our life, including business, I can't be more excited to have the conversation we're about to have today.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
I'm going to tell you a crazy story. I mean, probably not crazy to you, but maybe some of the people can relate at home and maybe open their eyes to what you just said, right? So something we talk about in other aspects of our life is like, no one cares more about your health than you do, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
Your doctor, as much as they don't want you to be sick, they don't care that you're healthy as much as you care about being healthy. Yeah, we'll completely outsource everything. Okay, so with that thought in mind, right? I had this doctor for... When I essentially since I got done with college, I got referred to her. She was awesome. And she actually was a little was more of an old school.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Peptides Unleashed: The Ultimate Health Hack with Jay Campbell
She would work. What are you trying to do? Where are you trying to go? How do you OK? And when I would go in for a physical, she would touch every part of my body. Yep. Every part, right? It would be a full inspection. Okay. So she retired three years ago and I got the doctor that I have today was part of her practice, whatever. I go in the first time. This is three years ago.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Spiritual Secret to Wealth No One Talks About | Kevin Trudeau
in a crude laboratory in the basement of his home.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Spiritual Secret to Wealth No One Talks About | Kevin Trudeau
in a crude laboratory in the basement of his home.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous episode for you today. We're going to do something a little different. It's going to be a solo episode, but I wanted to take a few minutes with you and I wanted to read through my TEDx talk that I recently did at TEDx New Albany, kind of table read style. The version that comes out that I actually performed on stage in New Albany is
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
At what I thought was a major stepping stone in my career, a milestone job, I found myself at the lowest emotional point of my life. Needless to say, I did not speak again in that meeting. I just sat there. When the meeting was over, I got up and dragged myself back to my office. See, I didn't realize it at the time, but status seeking behavior activates the same neural pathways as addiction.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
I, at 38 years old, was addicted to status. I had done things. I had achieved things. And people wanted to know what I thought. They wanted to interview me. They wanted me on their podcast. Asked me to speak at their conference. As I slumped into my chair, staring out the window of my 15th floor office, a torturous set of questions entered my mind. Was this it? Was this the top?
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
Would I ever get another opportunity like this? How the heck did I get here? And then the memory of walking those streets at 12 entered my mind. I thought about who I was back then and what I was willing to do to create a better future.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
I remember making my high school varsity football team as a sophomore for the sole reason I was the only guy in the program willing to lower himself to learn long snapping. I was a starting middle linebacker by week four, but who keeps track of these things?
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
I remember writing a letter to every college baseball coach within a six-hour drive of my house explaining that this six-foot-three power-hitting catcher would commit on the sole factor to whichever school gave me the biggest scholarship. Not because we were greedy, but because I was poor. And a scholarship was the only way I was going to college. how little I cared about the opinion of others.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
It was then that I took out a notebook and I started writing. And what I wrote down that day would be the beginnings of the three lessons that I'm here to share with you today. These three principles have guided me ever since. And that when followed, create an immunity to status and they will empower you to become your unreasonable self. Principle number one, fear is a vector to action.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
I hadn't read Ryan Holiday's The Obstacle is the Way yet, but it's the same idea. Fear would be my guide, not my anchor. For me, that was the pull to become an entrepreneur. A year later, I founded my first company, Rogue Risk, a first of its kind digital commercial insurance agency. Principle number two, give yourself permission.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
I would no longer allow the opinions and expectations of others to dictate my actions. You'll never be able to. You don't have enough. That's not the way it's always been done. I would not allow my unique approach to business to stay just notes on a page because others didn't get it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
And using our unique approach, we were able to scale, rogue risk, and sell it in two years and ultimately exit within less than four. Principle number three, what you focus on is who you become. I could either focus on gaining it, preserving attention status, or I could focus on becoming a master of my craft.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
who I actually am and the way that I operate to come through and to follow that unique path, if that makes sense. It'll make more sense when I do the table read. But I wanted to put this in front of you, not only because I'm very proud of the work that I did, and I spent over six months putting this talk together and, you know, working out the performance and all that kind of stuff.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
And in my case, that was mastering the craft of entrepreneurship and leadership skills that were necessary for me to develop in order to manifest this business that I had dreamed of for more than 15 years. To be clear, being unreasonable, choosing yourself, as James Aldrich puts it, it's not the easy path, and it comes with a cost.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
It's torturous and treacherous and lonely, and you will absolutely find yourself on an island, but it will be an island of your own design. There's this Emerson quote that rents space in my head. God will not have his work made manifest by cowards. The challenge I bring to you today isn't should you or should you not chase status. It's do you have the courage to choose the future you want?
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
Can you be unreasonable enough to become the person God intended you to be? Because in that unreasonable pursuit is where you find purpose, meaning, and happiness. And if three principles is too many, if you can only take one principle away with you today, the inner forearm tattoo-worthy principle, it is undoubtedly what you focus on as who you become. What you focus on. is who you become.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
The choice is yours. Choose wisely. This is the way. And cut scene. So, my friends, that is the talk. Like I said, it took me six months to get to that. of writing and editing and, you know, researching and framing ideas and, you know, the number of stories that I pulled out and how it all laid together, building the case, keeping it short.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
It really, putting this TEDx talk together was one of the most challenging speaking performances that I've ever taken on, mostly because of its brevity, right? It's much easier to have an hour to speak kind of weave and meander your way through different stories.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
And you can read the crowd and, you know, poke and prod and try things and back up and go down different paths as you're getting feedback from your audience. It's a completely different experience where this was you got one shot and you had to rip because the lights go off at 18 minutes. And you don't want that to happen. I'm very proud of this message.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
I'm going to be sharing more as I develop more around this idea. I think that being able to recognize status and its impact on our lives and our decision-making is an incredibly important part of our own personal development and becoming that best version of ourselves. Because as I say during the talk, status in and of itself isn't a bad thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
If you're doing incredible work and people appreciate it and enjoy it, you're going to elevate in status in their eyes. And there's no intrinsic problem with that. Unless your decisions start costing you or your company or your family and loved ones,
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
This is something we can avoid, right? It's not an intangible. It's not a, if this happens, break glass kind of thing. This is something that if we're intentional and thoughtful, if we haven't had major downsides from attaching too much value to status or the corresponding ideas, then we can still avoid it. And if we find ourselves in this place, there is a real path out.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
If chasing that status comes at a cost that you don't want to pay, that creates negative impacts in your life, that generates more stress and more anxiety, then it's a negative. So developing a relationship, an intentional relationship with what status means in our lives, how we handle it, and how we make sure that it isn't corrupting our decision-making process is incredibly important.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
And I hope that you got value out of this talk. When the TEDx, you know, kind of the video recording of the talk goes live, I'll make sure that, you know, share it on all the socials. If you're not on the email list, go to go.ryanhanley.com. That's go.ryanhanley.com. And you can jump on the email list. I'm going to definitely share it there as well. Guys, I appreciate you for being here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
I appreciate the fact that you continue to show up, that you get value from this show, and I hope you appreciate how hard I try to work to deliver value back to you. I take our relationship that we have here very, very seriously. Any comments, any questions, any thoughts that you have about what you just heard, I'd love for you to leave them. in the comments of the YouTube video.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
It's just an easy way for me to collect all your thoughts and then respond to you guys. I hope that you absolutely crush this day and understand that with all things in life, it's your choice. And I very much do hope that you choose wisely. Wisely for you. Because that, my friends, is the way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
And as leaders, as creators, if you're ambitious, if you want to become an influencer or an entrepreneur or an executive or really anyone that starts to hold positions of status or desires positions of status, right? The status trap is absolutely something we can get caught in and it can derail our progress. And I don't want that to happen to you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
I'm going to just kind of table read style work through this script. How I built this, right? I didn't just build an outline. I actually scripted every single word first in its entirety. And then I went back through. And just to kind of work through what my process was, right, for this talk. So scripted every single word in its entirety. Did some table reads. Got a feel for that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
Deleted some parts. I made adjustments and kind of went back and forth on this full script editing. And then once I got the full script to where I was in a time frame that I had some buffer. So TEDx talks, if you're unfamiliar. have a max limit of 18 minutes. They really want you to come in 17 or under some of the most successful Ted talks have been in that 15 to 16 minute range, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
You don't want to, It is not a platform for more context than is necessary, if that makes sense, which, as you guys know, as listeners to the show, is difficult for me. So this took a lot of work and refining. It was one of the most challenging speaking performances that I've ever had to prepare for.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
is not going to be what you're going to hear. Not exactly. I did a little different. I cut some sections out and expanded some places for the actual onstage live performance that got recorded and hopefully will be up on the TEDx YouTube channel in the not too distant future.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
Most of that is pressure that I put on myself because I wanted to do well or at least be proud of my performance, which... I was, uh, but you know, this process was very different than how I normally would build out a talk. I would normally build out a talk in slides actually.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
And, uh, and then use the slides as a template and an outline to, to ultimately get all my stories and talking points and stuff together. In this case, I scripted every word. I edited it down to be like exactly what I wanted to say. And then from there I broke it into an outline and, And then from there, I actually built a few slides off of the talk.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
So I'm not going to necessarily do all the slides. I think that's extraneous, and I don't think it's necessary. But I wanted to read this for you guys, put it in front of you, and I would love your feedback.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
If you're listening, watching on YouTube, or even if you're on Spotify and Apple, I would love for you to come over to the YouTube video and leave your comments, leave your thoughts, leave your questions. I really want to know what you think of this particular idea. It is so incredibly powerful and so insidious if we are unaware that our mindset has been captured by this idea of status.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
I want to make sure that if you're part of this community and you listen to this show, and this is something I think I can help you with. So hopefully what you're about to hear is valuable to you. I hope you enjoy it. If you do love and you're not already, please subscribe to the show, share with friends. That's how we grow the community. That's how we grow the audience of this show.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
And as always, I just appreciate you and love you for taking time out of your day and choosing to be here with me. I know you have so many options and I'm not going to belabor it anymore, but but it is just so incredibly meaningful that you spend this time here. Thank you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
And like I said, all questions, all comments, all thoughts, if you can come over to the YouTube video, leave them there, and I will respond to every single one of them. So, all right. With that, I'm going to get on to my TEDx talk. Table read. Now, like I said, the version that comes out in TEDx, in the text, will be different.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
But I still wanted to share the message in its entirety with you guys, particularly because I think the topic that I addressed is something that it's a blind spot for us. It's something that we don't see coming until we're caught in it. And then it is very difficult to get out. And I have found myself in some of the situations in which I am the most regretful of the things I've done or not done.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
What I ultimately ended up doing was in the 11th hour was cutting a few sections and expanding in a few other places. So it is a little different version. But I wanted to read to you kind of the fully scripted version that I put together that ultimately was the template that I went to stage with. So, all right. Okay.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
The title of my talk was Stop Living a Life You Didn't Choose. He said, I thought you figured it out by now. We didn't hire you for your opinion. I sat there paralyzed, the CEO's crippling words hung in the air. That was the moment I realized I wasn't living my own life. I was 38 years old, and I had lost the way. This was the job I was supposed to have. I had checked all the boxes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
On my career ladder, this is exactly where I was supposed to be. My dream job, and that dream had just become a nightmare. As his comments sank in, it felt like I was falling, as if I had been holding on to a ledge high atop a mountain of success, and my fingers had just gotten over the top when someone decided to walk by and step on my fingers.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
At that moment, I experienced just about every negative emotion a person can feel about themselves. Pain, shame, doubt, insecurity, anger, fear. How did I lose the way? My story isn't unique. Every day, millions of people wake up, go to jobs they hate, pursue goals they didn't choose, all because they're caught in what I call the status trap, the invisible prison of social expectations.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
This would become a defining moment in my life, and it's the reason I'm here today. See, it's astounding how many people want to live spectacular lives, but prioritize fitting in, getting along, being normal, being accepted. Raise your hand. And for you guys listening and watching, put the word status in the comments.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
Raise your hand if you've ever done something, not because you wanted to, but because it's what you believed was expected of you. I know I certainly have. Look around your life and you'll see the status trap everywhere. It's the law degree you pursued because your parents convinced you it was sensible and safe.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
It's the vacation that you spend staging Instagram photos on the beach instead of just enjoying your time. It's the house that you buy that's expensive but in the right neighborhood even though it comes with a soul-crushing commute. It's saying that's interesting in meetings when what you really want to say is, I completely disagree.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
And to be clear, there's a fine line between giving in to the demands of status and sacrificing for family and loved ones. Your choice to have a soul-crushing commute could be so your kids could go to a better school. Or working that sensible, safe job that you hate, it could just be a placeholder until you get your entrepreneurial idea off the ground. The outcome isn't the issue.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
It's why you make the decision that matters. George Bernard Shaw wrote, the reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. Unreasonable people get unreasonable results. Yet so few of us lead unreasonable lives. See, the status trap, it's a blind spot.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
Our society encourages us from birth to fit in. Don't touch that. Don't say that. Be nice. Listen to your teacher. Take these classes. Go to this college. Get this job. It's all subtle programming. At face value, none of these things are necessarily wrong if we choose them. But what my experience had taught me is that Status is a limiting belief that denies us our full potential.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
It teaches us to master working the system rather than mastering the skill of our craft. Prioritizing status outsources our passion, our dreams, our goals to other people, to what is expected. We chase significance. We're intoxicated by attention. We trade comfort for purpose, conformity for impact, and inertia for legacy. Tyler Durden said it best.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like. Think of it like this. We all start at the bottom of the ocean in the darkness, unsure of where to go, what to do, who we will become. And along comes status, the anglerfish, dangling its little light. And in the darkness, that light feels like the path. It lures us in with shiny rewards, attention, accolades.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
It is often because I fell into what I call the status trap. The invisible prison of societal expectations, right? Those things that we feel we are supposed to do because of this label that we might wear at any given particular time, right? So people like me or people like this do things like this, and therefore I need to do all those same things as well.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
But behind its light lurking in the darkness lies the danger. The silent suffocation of never becoming who we were meant to be. When the whole time all we needed to do was swim up. Thoreau wrote, the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. Their souls trapped, held hostage to social expectations and the material requirements of status.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
These prevent them from truly experiencing freedom, fulfillment, purpose, meaning, happiness. I'm here today to challenge you. Challenge you to examine your relationship with status. Reframe your approach to success and give you three principles for breaking free of the status trap. Because having status isn't necessarily a bad thing. There's a reason status is hard-coded into our human system.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
Safety, security, routine. According to a study published in the National Library of Medicine, conforming to group norms can temporarily reduce stress and anxiety by aligning with others and avoiding potential conflict and rejection. Status in and of itself is not the problem. The corruption lies in why we achieve status.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
For in that same study, the short-term relief that comes from conformity has the cost of our long-term psychological well-being. See, the larger the gap grows between who we are and who we were meant to be, the more stress and anxiety fill our lives. We're not born chasing status. But we choose, early in our lives, how we're gonna play the game. Prioritizing status is the path of comfort.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
Just do what everyone does and expects of the type of person you'd like to become. Fit in, play along, say the same things, read the same books. Have the same opinions. Go on the same vacations. Be agreeable. Be nice. Get along. Don't stand out. Avoid tough conversations. The American education system was built to produce cogs in the societal machine, which is great for the machine.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
Not so great for the cogs. But this isn't just an American problem. We've all heard the Japanese proverb, the nail that sticks out gets hammered down. In Australia, there is tall poppy syndrome. In Scandinavian countries, it's called the Law of Jante, which I'm paraphrasing here, says you're not to imagine yourself better than we are.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
Society's encouragement of conformity is a problem as old as time. The good news is there is another way. See, I wasn't born with status. I grew up in a small town of 900 people in the middle of the woods of upstate New York. As kids, we joked that you could leave the doors open at night because the criminals lived in our town. They didn't steal there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
Needless to say, it was not an opportunity-rich environment. And as early as 12 years old, all I wanted to do was get out of that town. I didn't want to have my life dictated to me by its desperation, and I believed at the time that money helped you escape. So at 12, I began waking up at 5 a.m. every Thursday morning before school.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
I'd grab two large 50-gallon trash bags and head out into the dark. Why Thursday? Because that was recycling day, and all my neighbors would put their recyclables out on the street in little dirty blue bins. I'd walk from house to house rummaging through their dirty little blue bins, looking for recycle bottles and cans with a five cent deposit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
After about an hour and a half, I'd have filled my two garbage bags, which was about 30 bucks in profit. This was a zero-status job. I was literally a garbage picker. I had neighbors yell at me and eyeball me, you know, through the windows. My friends and classmates ridiculed me, calling me things like garbage boy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
And even after I told them how much money I was making, and I asked them to help, no one would. Picking garbage was beneath them. Me? I didn't care. I was 12 years old and was flush with cash. My immunity to status allowed me to capitalize on an opportunity others would not. See, we all have a choice.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
We make so many bad decisions when we're operating from a position of status. And I've had several experiences in my career where I just look back and it doesn't even seem like the same person who made those decisions today. And in examining why I made them, it was because I was trying to be something instead of just allowing –
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
We can play the status game, chase the accolades, mimic the crowd, fit in, or we can do as Steve Martin taught us. be so good they can't ignore us. Or maybe put in the context of our conversation here today, we can be so unreasonable they can't ignore us.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
Because it's completely unreasonable at 12 years old to get up at 5 a.m., put on a snowsuit because it's 20 degrees out, and pick garbage for five cents a pop. But here's the rub. After a few months, my neighbors stopped yelling at me and giving me the stink eye out the windows. And my friends, they liked hanging out with the kid who always had money in his pocket.
The Ryan Hanley Show
My TEDx Talk Was Life Changing
See, my status changed, not by fitting in, not by doing what was always expected, rather doing exactly what I needed to do the way I needed to do it without regard for what others think. We chase status, but we envy execution. Fast-forward back to my 38-year-old self. I had forgotten the lessons I learned at 12. There I sat, shamed out, anger coursing through my body. I was lost.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
I used to think I just needed more willpower. I told myself tomorrow I'll quit scrolling Instagram. I'll stop eating junk food. I'll go to the gym. But every day I failed and I hated myself for it. Then I realized something. The problem wasn't me. It wasn't that I was weak or lazy. The real problem. I was stuck in an invisible cycle that nobody talks about.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
Today, we're going to fix our bad habits once and for all, because today we're going to discuss a simple, overlooked strategy for replacing bad habits with good that nobody talks about. And if you're not subscribed here on YouTube or wherever you listen to the show, make sure that you do that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
And if you're watching on YouTube, leave a comment below with the one habit you want to break, but just haven't been able to. Let's get a feel for what everyone is struggling with. Regardless of what you're doing, you're building a habit. Every single action you repeat, whether good or bad, is wiring your brain to make the behavior automatic. You don't choose whether or not to build a habit.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
You only choose whether it's one that helps you or one that holds you back. According to a study in the European Journal of Social Psychology, it takes an average of 66 days for a behavior to become automatic. That means every time you repeat a bad habit, you're reinforcing it, making it harder to break it later on. But What if you could rewire your brain? So breaking bad habits became effortless.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
What if instead of fighting against your habits, you made them work for you? Today, I'm gonna reveal a simple three-step system used by top psychologists that almost guarantees success. But first you need to understand why habits are so hard to break. If breaking bad habits was easy, we'd all be waking up at 5 a.m., eating clean and hitting the gym like superheroes.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
But the truth is your brain is actually working against you. Let me explain here. Every habit, good or bad, is controlled by something called the habit loop. This is a cycle that runs on autopilot in your brain. And if you don't know how to break it, hack it, you'll stay stuck repeating the same patterns over and over again. So here are the three stages of the habit loop.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
First, there's the cue, the trigger. Something in your environment or emotions triggers the habit. The second step is routine or the action. You perform the habit automatically. And third, there's the reward. Your brain gets a dopamine hit reinforcing the loop. So let's take a habit like checking your phone first thing in the morning. The cue, you wake up.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
And when I discovered one thing that changed everything, I broke every bad habit I ever struggled with. And today I'm going to show you exactly how you can do it too. Stick with me until the end because I'll reveal the overlooked strategy that rewires your brain to break bad habits without relying on willpower.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
The routine, you grab your phone and start scrolling. The reward, a dopamine hit that makes your brain crave it again tomorrow. This is why bad habits feel automatic. Your brain doesn't care if the habit is good or bad. It only cares about the reward, which gives us the opportunity to hack our brains. And I know this firsthand because I'm dealing with it right now.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
I've got multiple projects coming to a head all at once. I'm building Linkora. I'm running this podcast. I'm creating my course, Master of the Clothes. I'm preparing for my TEDx talk and I'm writing my book, The Civilized Savage. This isn't a normal workload. It's a grind. And to get it all done and done well, I've been pushing myself hard early mornings, late nights, back to back focused sprints,
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
But here's what happens when you push at that level. Your willpower starts draining fast. And when willpower drains, old habits creep in. I've caught myself making bad food choices, death scrolling social media, skipping workouts. I see what's happening. I'm reinforcing behaviors that if left unchecked could become bad habits. Yes, the work needs to get done.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
And yes, this is just a short season of intensity. But if I allow myself to use as an excuse for developing habits that won't serve me long term, I'll come out of this season worse than I started. And then what was it all for? So the question is, how do you break the cycle? How do you stop bad habits from taking root? Because if willpower alone won't save you, What will?
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
The answer is rewiring the habit loop. And that's exactly what I'm going to show you next. A simple three-step system used by top psychologists to break any bad habit for good. We're going to learn how to hack our brains. All right, we've dissected why bad habits form and how our brains get hooked. Let's get to the meat and potatoes of this bad boy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
Here's a three-step system to break any habit by playing the dopamine game to your advantage, using this chemical to hack your brain. Step number one, we have to identify the trigger. Every habit starts with a cue, a trigger that sets the routine in motion. It could be stress, boredom, or specific environmental things. So what's an example of that?
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
Notice you reach for junk food when you're stressed. This means stress is your trigger. Spend a day or two journaling your habits. You can just keep a journal in your pocket. When do they occur? What emotions and situations precede you taking action on a bad habit? Once you know that, you can move on to step two.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
Once you know what your triggers are or your cues, you can move on to step number two. We need to replace the routine. Once you've identified these triggers, it's time to swap your routine. Instead of indulging in a bad habit, replace it with a positive one that provides a similar reward.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
So an example of this, when stress hits and you crave junk food, replace that urge with a brisk walk, 10 pushups or a quick workout. Both activities can alleviate stress. trigger a dopamine release. The keys to ensure the new activity satisfies the same need as the old habit. And now from my experience, this can take some work.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
You want to marry the good habit to the bad habit so that you don't feel the need to go back to the bad habit. And sometimes, at least when you take your first try at this, the good habit may not properly replace that particular bad habit. So keep working at it. Keep iterating.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
Once you've figured out which old habits or bad habits can be replaced by good ones, we get to move on to step number three, the overlooked secret strategy to rewiring your brain. Celebrate small wins. This is the killer overlooked strategy. Each time you successfully replace a bad habit with a good one, acknowledge it. Celebrate it.
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STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
The celebration triggers a dopamine release, reinforcing the new habit. And most people overlook this step because it feels like work or worse. They feel like they don't deserve to celebrate. Celebrating your small habit victories has nothing to do with deserving. You're hacking your brain to expect a reward from good habits instead of bad.
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STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
Now, in my own journey, juggling multiple projects like Linkora, my podcast, my book, I have faced the pull of all the bad habits. To combat this, I've started celebrating small wins, like choosing to cook home over DoorDash or getting a workout in despite the hectic schedule that I've discussed.
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STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
This might sound stupid, but when I complete a good habit, one of the ways that I reward myself is with some Wu-Tang and some positive self-talk, like, you're the fucking man, or I'll set a five-minute timer to scroll X, which is like mental candy for me. This might sound trivial, but it's backed by neuroscience.
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STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
Dopamine is released not just by the reward itself, but by the anticipation of the award. Celebrating small wins creates a positive feedback loop, making you more likely to repeat the good behavior. So, you know, we can take David Goggins, for instance. Goggins is known for his extreme endurance, right? And he emphasizes in everything he does mental toughness.
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STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
The rub with Goggins is he doesn't rely on external rewards. Instead, he derives dopamine from overcoming these challenges and pushing his limits. This internal celebration reimport forces his positive habits. And he talked about this on a podcast with Andrew Huberman, right? And he talked about this on a podcast with Andrew Huberman.
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STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
The reason that he prefers internal rewards over external rewards is the internal rewards are always with him. But you have to find the reward that delivers enough dopamine at the right time to reinforce your good habits. You are not David Goggins and neither am I. By implementing these steps, you're identifying your triggers, replacing your routine and celebrating small wins.
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STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
You're not just breaking bad habits. You're rewiring your brain for the positive ones. Remember, it's not about willpower. It's about strategically leveraging your brain's chemistry to work for you. Hacking your brain. Do not forget to celebrate your small victories. Each time you successfully replace that bad habit with a good one, acknowledge it. This celebration triggers the dopamine release.
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STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
Do not overlook this step. You don't have to live with bad habits. We all have the power to change our bad habits regardless of how much motivation or willpower we have. It's simply hacking your brain. Now, the real question is, will you take action or will you let another day slip by? So here's a seven day habit breaker challenge. One, write down the habit you want to break.
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STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
Two, identify its trigger. Three, replace it with a positive routine. Four, celebrate your small wins. And five, post your progress. You can use this video, drop a comment, or DM me on Instagram and LinkedIn. Let me know how you're doing. The best time to change was yesterday. The second best time, right now. Rewire your brain, change your life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
My friends, comment below with one habit that you're committing to changing this week. And if this video helped you, share it with friends who are struggling with bad habits too. This is the way.
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STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. Today, we're talking about habits, and this one can't be overstated. Your habits are who you are, period. You're not an athlete if you don't work out or make time to do athletic things. You're not a leader if you don't make time to lead your people and your company.
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STOP Using Willpower to Break Bad Habits - Ryan Hanley
You're not a good parent if you aren't present and involving yourself in your kids' lives. But we all allow ourselves at different times to get sucked into bad habits. I'll say things like, I'm just not focused right now or work is super busy, so I can't insert whatever. These trite little excuses that we make are bad habits in and of themselves.
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Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
You ever get that gut feeling that something's off? Maybe it was a DM that felt a little too slick, or a cold email that opened with your name in bold and the word amazing five times, or a LinkedIn pitch that just simply tried too hard. You can smell it. It's not real. It's AI with a tie-on. Here's the thing no one's talking about.
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Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
So the field gets even, the playing field flattens, and the real variable, the real edge becomes trust velocity, speed to trust. How quickly someone believes you're the real solution. We're living in the most skeptical era in modern history. Misinformation, deep fakes, AI generated nonsense, everyone's been burned, ghosted, over-promised, and under-delivered. Trust is no longer given, it's earned.
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Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
And the price is attention. A Harvard business study showed that people decide whether or not they trust you within the first 50 milliseconds of seeing your face. 50 milliseconds. That's less time than it takes to blink. What does that mean? It means your words don't matter. If your energy doesn't hit first, people can tell.
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Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
You're either signal or noise, real or someone playing dress up with a chat GPT prompt. There's a reason Stephen Covey said, trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient to effective communication. You know what it really is? Trust is a multiplier. It multiplies the impact of your speed, your data, your systems.
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Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
No trust, your perfectly optimized sales machine turns into a glorified spam cannon. Think about this. You can send a thousand emails a day with AI, book 50 meetings a week, run three retargeting sequences with personalized landing pages. But if not one person trusts you, you just spent all that time, all that money to generate nothing. Here's what I've learned after 15 years in this game.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
The future doesn't belong to the fastest closer or the person with the prettiest tech stack. It belongs to the one who can earn trust fast. Because if they don't trust you, they don't buy from you. If they don't believe you, they won't follow you. And if they don't feel you, they'll never stick around long enough to matter.
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Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
Speed to close is a vanity metric. Speed to trust is the growth lever. And why? Because speed to trust is exponential. Trust leads to referrals. Referrals lead to warm intros. Warm intros skip the line. It's not linear growth. It's compound credibility. Speed to trust. So how do you build trust fast? Well, there's five ways that I recommend. First, lead with honesty, not hype. Drop the act.
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Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
Lose the script. Speak like a real human. If you don't know something, say it. If your product's not the right fit, tell them. You'll be shocked how disarming that is. Two, share a story, not a pitch. Data's forgettable, stories are sticky. You want proof? You probably don't remember the stat that I gave you earlier, but you do remember that feeling of being pitched by a robot.
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Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
That's the power of a narrative. Number three, show your face. People trust people they can see. Eye contact, voice tone, body language. We love video proposals in all of my businesses. That's why your best salesperson might not be your script, it's your camera. Four, serve before you sell. Show you understand the problem before offering a solution. Use open-ended questions.
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Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
Validate before prescription. And number five, my personal favorite, give a shit, like honestly care about solving their problem, not just making a sale. This means sometimes your product or service isn't going to be the answer.
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Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
And while you may be giving up a sale today, giving a shit, caring about your prospects, solving their problem, regardless if it's your solution or not, will build trust and pay dividends in ways you can't imagine. I promise you. So here's the rub. In the age of AI, everyone is gonna be fast. Everyone's gonna have data. Everyone's gonna have automation. But trust, that's still handcrafted.
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Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
It's still earned. It's still human. It's what makes us different. So if you wanna grow, if you wanna win, don't just build a fast sales system. Build a fast trust system. Speed to trust. Optimize for speed to trust.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
My friends, you fellow unreasonable out there working your ass off, if this message hit you, if you're building in public, selling with integrity, and trying to lead with the truth, subscribe to my newsletter, Finding Peak. Every week, I break down concepts like these, how to lead better, sell smarter, build things that people actually believe in. It's not just tactics. It's the truth with teeth.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
Go to findingpeak.com. I will meet you there. This is the way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
Let's go. Yeah, make it look, make it look, make it look easy. Thank you for listening to The Ryan Hanley Show. Be sure to subscribe and leave us a comment or review wherever you listen to podcasts.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
Welcome all my unreasonable friends out there looking to achieve unreasonable outcomes. This is the Ryan Hanley Show, and I'm so happy that you've come back and spent some time with us today. If you're not subscribed to the show, whether you're listening or watching on YouTube, please do, and... Do me a favor. If you enjoy this content, if you think it has value, share it with a friend.
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Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
That's my only ask. I love you guys. Let's get back to the show. We've entered the AI arms race. Everybody's got tools that write emails, make calls, book meetings. Everyone's optimized for conversions, speed to lead, pipeline velocity. But here's a stat most people take the wrong way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Everyone’s Fast. Only the Trusted Win.
Responding to a lead within five minutes makes you 21 times more likely to turn them into a qualified opportunity. So what do we all do? We try to beat the five minute mark, automate the reply, preload the calendar link, trigger the AI follow up. But guess what? Your competitor is doing the exact same thing.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
I've always hated goals. I've always thought that they were pointless. I felt like if I just worked as hard as I possibly could, then what was the point of the goal? I was just going to get as much as I could get, but I was wrong. And if you struggle with goals, then you are in the right place. My friends keep listening.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
I mean, at the time, I probably couldn't have told you this, but bringing it all the way back and thinking about it now as 43, soon to be 44-year-old man, it was this core idea of detaching from the outcome that changed the trajectory of my career. And this applies to sales. It applies to everything we do in life. Detach from the outcome. Focus on the habits, right? If you want to lose 10 pounds...
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Commit to all workout five days a week and cut out sugar. Right? The habit, the non-negotiable habit is five workouts a week and no sugar. Not
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
I'm going to lose 10 pounds because what happens is if the, if you focus on the losing 10 pounds and the outcome, you're going to have days where you retain a little extra water and the scale is going to make it look like you're not making any progress and you're going to get frustrated and then you're going to change your path and you're going, you know, maybe I'm working out too much and I need to, and now you're off your habits, your success habits.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Instead of thinking I'll close 10 clients this month, focus on the number of calls you have to make or emails you have to send or networking events you have to go to or contacts you need to add to your CRM. What is that habit that you do every day that gets you to the goal, not the goal itself? My ex-father-in-law who taught me about selling insurance said,
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
He used to say, don't worry about premium. Just put policies on the books. So this is an insurance reference for those of you who don't work in the insurance industry. I worked at a local independent insurance agency, sold home and auto insurance, sold commercial insurance. It was where I cut my teeth as a sales professional. And he would say all the time, Don't worry about premium.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Premium is, is how you gauge success. Oftentimes some people gauge it by revenue. I think that's silly, but, um, you know, we get, you know, kind of premium is your top line sales number. And he would say, don't worry about premium. Just put policies on the books, put policies on the books. Don't worry about premium. Premium will always come. So if you need an example from like my business, uh,
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Back at Rogue Risk was the commercial insurance, national digital commercial insurance agency that I started and then sold and exited from in 2023. Instead of we need 20 leads a day, My habit was I will produce four YouTube videos a week because I knew that four good YouTube videos that addressed our audience, that were well optimized for SEO, et cetera, that they would produce the leads.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
And the other part about focusing on the habits is that it took the pressure off any one video or any one action of being successful. Any one week's worth of creating videos, they didn't need to always produce a certain number. I knew that stacked over time, week after week, that producing four videos a week, that the leads would come. And they did. We blew past 20 leads a day. We were crushing.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Not because I didn't focus on nitpicking the 20 leads. I just said every single week without fail, I will get four YouTube videos out. That was one of our primary marketing strategies was inbound through YouTube. Today, that might look like LinkedIn posts. So I've committed to posting a new LinkedIn post every day before 10 a.m. for 2025, every single day, so 365 posts.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
These posts are how I work through the ideas that are going to be in my TED Talk at the end of February. These are ideas that I'm reframing from the book The Civilized Savage.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
So instead of saying I'm going to grow my audience to 100,000 followers, I'm just going to do the work every day and know that if I'm continuing to refine my game, continuing to refine my expertise, if I'm doing the work, if I'm making sure the success habit is non-negotiable, I just do it every day, the audience will come. Goals are the destination. Habits are the path.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
When you nail the right habits, the outcome take care of themselves. James Clear said this in Atomic Habits. Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. Your habits are who you are. You can say that you're the type of person that works out, but if you never go to the gym, you're not.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
You can say that you're a salesperson, but if you don't make sales calls, send emails, go to networking events, if you don't do the actions, if you don't have the habits that you need to be a successful salesperson, then you're not. All right. Step number four, we must reflect on and refine our habits, not our annual goals. So here's the thing. Don't over plan. Action begets action.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
I have these odd things that I think, and until I absolutely bang them against a wall and find out if they make hay or not, I have to kind of learn the hard way. That's always been the way for me. And, you know, the problem is most of the advice that we get about goals is absolute garbage. You've heard things like, you know, just make smart goals, or you need stretch goals, and
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Planning is important. But at some point, you have to move. Only through action will the path become clear. As the saying goes, the only way out is through. You got to do the thing. You got a big goal. You feel like you're in a storm. You're in a tornado. You can sit there and hope it doesn't thrash you and throw you about.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Or you can lock in, buckle down, and work your way out of the storm through action. Annual goals are great for setting vision, right? That's what we're talking about here. The world changes way too fast to be locked in for 12 months. So what happens is we need to break down our goals into 90-day sprints quarterly.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
I like quarterly because I just – I don't think you get enough data back in a month to necessarily make the right realignments and adjustments to your habits to get your goals on track, right? And then we focus on the actions – The habits that we can control right now that will get us to that quarterly goal.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
And if what we find after a quarter is those aren't the habits or actions that get us there, then we can make adjustments. But we make adjustments to the habits, not the goal. You set the goal because that's what you wanted to do. Don't fuck with the goal. Fuck with the habits.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Realign and adjust your habits if you determine that they are not the right habits, that they're not the right actions to be taking. Again, James Clear from Atomic Habits. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems, right? We have one, two, maybe three big goals, tops, and then we find the habits that will create the biggest impact
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
and align with those long-term goals. We build systems of habits around those goals. At the end of each quarter, we reevaluate, right? Where are we now? What's changed? What's still working? What needs to shift? You're not abandoning your goal. You're refining the path to get there. All right, step number five. And I guess we're coming back to smart goals to a certain extent.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
We have to track our habits. We have to measure what matters, right? So if we're not tracking, then what's going to happen is our emotions are going to lie to us, right? If we want to achieve our goals, we can't rely on our memory or our good intentions. It's just, You are not your mind. You are not your body. They will lie to you, right? You need to track your habits.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
You need to measure what matters, right? Your memory, your emotions will lie to you. When things get squirrely and they absolutely positively will, it is inevitable. It's called entropy. Your emotions are going to freak out. We're doing the wrong things. We're never going to hit our goals. We weren't meant to do. We're not worthy. Doubt, shame, fear.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
And then we freak out and we go back to what we had always done. And then we get the results that we've always got. And we have another year where we didn't move forward. And that is not you. Actions, not outcomes. We don't need fancy tools to do this. There are plenty out there. It all depends on what you're into. Simple notebook, habit tracker, right?
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Whiteboard with checkboxes, you know, whatever works for you. Honestly, I don't care. You know, I use WhoopStrap for a while to track my sleep. I did that for about four months, figured out during that time what were the things that most impact my sleep. and therefore impacted my energy, which we addressed on previous episode.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
You know, everyone talks about smart goals, but I don't know anybody in which, like, they practice smart goals and they actually work for them. And be honest with yourself. Like, do you sit down and do, like, specific, measurable, achievable, relevant time? Like, do you writing all that down? Yeah. I don't know anybody that does that, and I also think there's tons of cracks in the system.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Energy management is one of my core priorities for this year, making sure that I am ready to go. I'm doing dry January mostly just as a reset. Everyone – you know what's funny when you tell people that you're doing dry January is that they immediately then go, well, you don't have a drinking problem. I'm like, well, one, how the fuck do you know? And two, no, but dry January is not about like –
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
undoing some drinking problem I have. It's about I know that alcohol, a la my whoop, has an impact on my sleep and my energy. And though I love a good cocktail or a beer or a glass of wine like anybody else, probably in some cases more than other people, I want to kick off 2025 right, and I felt like it was a good thing.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
And every once in a while, it's just fun to confirm that you have the willpower to do something that you wouldn't otherwise want to do, which is, for me, not drinking for an entire month. So I committed to it. I'll do it. I did 75 hard last year. It's not a big deal. So if we're tracking our habits and not our outcomes – So if your goal is fitness, log your workouts. When did you strength train?
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
When did you cardio train? When did you stretch or do yoga? And if you're really trying to get yourself in shape, you should be doing all three. Cardio, weights, pulled 405 on the deadlift today, by the way. And stretching and I really like hot yoga for stretching, mostly because then I don't have to think about what to do.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
And it also is an incredible core workout beyond getting your muscles flexible. So you can track your workouts, right? If you're building a business, this is we've talked about this track the activities, sales calls, email sent, whatever those core habits are, those core actions are that you need to take, right? If you're creating content, Mark off every time you post.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
If you want to get really gangster, create a Google sheet and put the date, put the title, put a link. And again, I know we're not talking about don't track outcomes, track activity, but you could also go back in and track like, hey, what was the first week's view count on that particular post, which is mostly positive. for understanding which content hit and what doesn't so you can get better.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
But simple, track the habits, track the actions, not the outcomes. Don't just write down how much you weigh every day, right? Track what you're doing to improve the numbers that are meaningful to your goals, right? Peter Drucker said, you know, this is probably one of his most famous lines, what gets measured gets managed. You are managing your success, right?
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
By tracking your habits, you're not just holding yourself accountable, you're building momentum. Each check mark, each data point, each day that you put in your journal, the positive habits that are getting you to where you're going, right? Feels good, right? Day three of going to the gym sucks. Day 30 is way easier, right?
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Looking back, I realized that achieving my biggest goals is not about grinding harder, although grinding harder is an amplifier. It's about focusing smarter. So grinding harder without smart focus, without not smart goals, smart focus. is a loss. You're a lot of wasted energy, a lot of wasted activity, right? Grinding harder on top of smart focus is an amplifier.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
It's about choosing fewer goals, building the right habits, and adapting as you go. James Clear again. Success is the product of daily habits, not once-in-a-lifetime transformations. Very relevant, considering we're just coming off of New Year's, and as I said, we're a week away from Quitter's Day. And my friends, there is one more piece to this puzzle.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
It's not completely lacking of value, but I definitely don't think that smart goals are the answer or stretch goals or any of these other kind of prepackaged philosophies around goals actually work. And here's some stats for you. A staggering, staggering 84% of people do not set any goals, which obviously significantly diminishes their chances of success.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
The ability to push just a little further than you think you can. One of the reasons I don't like smart goals is the achievable. The A. Fuck achievable. George Bernard Shaw has one of my favorite quotes of all time. It's one of the most inspirational things that I've ever read, and I continue to read it again and again. The reasonable man adapts himself to the world.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
The unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. Be unreasonable. Ed Milet calls this the power of one more. You're one more meeting, one more rep, one more call away from achieving what you want. When everyone else has done enough, be unreasonable. Do one more.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Marcus Aurelius, you have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find your strength. You have one more in you if you want it. You can't control the market, the competition, or even the timing of how shit happens. But you can control the habits that you put into your life, the actions you take, and the mindset that you bring every single day.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
When you pair the right habits with the mindset to do one more, you'll create unstoppable momentum. That one extra action, one more email, one more workout, one more pitch, It could be the difference between hitting that goal and not. So why not do it? Is the pain of one more worse than the pain of not hitting your goal at the end of 2025? I don't think so.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
We're officially to the call to action portion of this podcast. And my friends, this is what I want to tell you. Achieving your goals will require enduring discomfort and overcoming obstacles. To succeed, the discomfort of not reaching your goal must outweigh the challenges of pursuing it. Tony Robbins, change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Transformation occurs when the status quo becomes intolerable. motivating you to take the necessary steps towards your objectives. Steven Pressfield, at some point, the pain of not doing it becomes greater than the pain of doing it. My wish for you in 2025 is that you destroy your BHAG, your big, hairy, audacious, dare I say, unreasonable goal.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
But the only way you get there is by focusing on what you can control, your actions, your decisions, and your responses, your habits. There is a badass motherfucker inside you, an unreasonable prick that wants more out of life, a delusional son of a bitch. Embrace the suck. And if you're afraid, good, you should be. Go listen to the last podcast again. Fear is your vector for action.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
You are a civilized savage, and I am here for it. So here's my challenge. What's your one more today? What's the non-negotiable habit that you'll commit to, that one extra step you'll take, the thing that pushes you closer to your goal? I want to know. Share it in the comments. DM me, Instagram, LinkedIn. Let's make this shit real. This is the way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Only 3% of people have written goals with a plan to execute them. Even though, and this is crazy, you are 10 times more likely to succeed if you've written out your goals. 10 times more likely. Only 45% of the people that actually set goals even track their goals. Insane. And 35% of individuals abandon their New Year's resolutions within a week of setting them.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
what is up guys and welcome back to the show we have another solo episode for you i'm really enjoying doing these as i dump my brain hopefully into yours now what changed my mind about goals years of running businesses leading teams and realizing one hard truth Goals aren't the problem. It's the way we've been taught to set them. It's the way that we've been taught to attack them.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Often due to setting unattainable goals that came with the stat. And I think that last part is bullshit. And that's why we have to be careful when we get a stat and then someone applies their opinion on to the end of it, which I'm doing, but this is my podcast. I get to put my opinion on things. Um, they call it quitters day and it's one week from when this episode is dropping.
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The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
So this is dropping on Friday, the third. So technically, um, The second Friday in January is officially Quitter's Day when all of our big grandiose plans and goals that we make for the year we throw out and go back to our old habits. So if we don't set goals the right way, then we are absolutely giving ourselves no chance of success. We're failing ourselves, our team, our business.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
And that is not who we are, certainly if you take the time to listen to this show. So first, before we like get into the actual strategy itself. I want to hit you with this idea. Prioritize fewer, bigger goals. One of the biggest reasons that goals fail is because we try to do too much at once. We spread ourselves thin.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
We're chasing five, 10 different priorities and we end up missing them all or getting like half-hearted results on a bunch of them. And, then how do we choose which ones to prioritize, et cetera. Dr. Benjamin Hardy, who wrote 10X is Easier than 2X, has a great quote. To 10X, you must focus on fewer things that matter most and eliminate everything else.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
10X is Easier than 2X is one of my absolute top 10 book recommendations, regardless if you're in the business community or not. there are so many incredible insights inside that book. And the biggest idea that I took away from 10 X is easier than two X is this thought that, uh, with a two X goal, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
I want to double my income or I want to do, you know, two X, the number of whatever the thing I'm trying to achieve is there's a thousand different ways to two X your goal. You can, you know, Take this path or that path or if this happens or I could get lucky here, you know, this could go up and there's all kinds of external and internal factors and paths that we can take to hit a 2X goal.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
But if we're going to 10X our results, there are one, possibly two ways to get there. Simply by focusing on a 10X goal, be it unreasonable or not. We drastically reduce the paths to success, which immediately creates focus. I love that book. Highly recommend if you haven't read it, make that a priority in 2025. Read 10X is Easier than 2X by Dr. Benedict Hardy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Fewer, bigger goals demand clarity and commitment. When your goal is ambitious, it eliminates distractions. You can't afford to waste time on things that don't move the needle. Now, what I'm about to share with you has worked for me. I'm not a goal guru. I'm just a guy that likes to get shit done. And as I mentioned before, I tend to have to learn every lesson the hard way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
And because I live a GNF life, I don't often take... Pre packaged advice at face value, and I love to try my own thing. So my point in saying all that is take this in. Listen to it. If you apply it, I have a feeling that your relationship with goals, much like my own, is going to change because. This works, and we're going to explain the process.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
All right, we've kind of built up the payoff here for a while. Let's get to the actual strategy itself. I don't have a cool acronym or anything. I would love for you guys to come up with one. Leave it in the comments or DM me if you think of something as I'm talking through here. But step number one is clarity. We have to be crystal clear on what we want to achieve.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
If you set generic goals, I want to get more fit. I want to make more money. I want to be better to my spouse. I want to be a more present dad or whatever. There's nothing to grab onto. There's no tangible thing that we can grab onto and actually apply whether we're doing the thing or not. There's nothing there. It's like sand slipping through your fingers. What does making more money mean?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
$1,000? Are you talking about $100? hundred thousand more dollars a year. If you want to make more money, what's going to make you happy. What's going to get you there. What's going to make it so that the end of 2025, you're thumping your chest at the holiday party, looking around going, I'm up in bad-ass.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Now, you don't actually have to do that, and if you did do it, one, I would love to see it because I think that would be cool as hell, but also most of the people in the room would probably think you're a jackass. However, that feeling, if you're not specific, if you're not clear, then you're never going to know. We have to put numbers to our goals. And this is what I was always terrible about.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
This was the part that shut me down immediately right here. I was like, well, I want to do a million in sales, obviously. And I thought to myself, but if I work as hard, I can probably only reasonably hit three. And then I started negotiating with myself. And mental garbage. We all have to deal with it. When I started committing to specific goals, everything changed.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Clear targets, clear targets are easier to hit. So let's, for me specifically this year, I want to hit 1.5 million in ARR for Linkora by the end of 2025. I want to sell 500 memberships to my Master of the Clothes program, which is coming out in a few weeks. Watch for that. If you're not on the wait list, that's going to be the best possible price ever for the value that you get.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
You've got to be on the wait list, and it's only going to be offered to people on the wait list. There's over 800 people on the wait list right now, but my goal is to sell 500 memberships to that. I also want to get 5,000 copies of The Civilized Savage into the hands of people who need it. And the reason I didn't make that goal sell was because I don't care if they buy them or not.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
I want them in people's hands. The message in that book is it's a model that Chris Paradiso and I have discussed for decades because I've known him that long, and that – By co-authoring that book with him, I feel like this message – I'm just so proud of what this message of the teachings, of the lessons, of the ideas, the concepts that we've put into this book.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
I think it's going to inspire a lot of people, and I want to get 5,000 copies into the hands of people who need it. So I know what you're saying. Ryan, you're a dope. The S in SMART goals stands for specific. And again, I did not say that SMART goals was completely void of value. I just said as a framework, I don't think it works. And we're going to get to that in a second.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
So if you're still on the SMART goal train and you haven't heard a convincing case as to why you shouldn't be using SMART goals, I get it. We're going to get there. Stay with me. Okay. So that's step number one. We got to be clear, specific, clarity. Okay. Step number two. We have to reverse engineer the process to the goal.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
So once we know the destination, then we have to map the steps to get there. Ask yourself, what do I need to do to hit my goal? This means actual tasks. Like, what do you need to do? Not just like, well, if I want to do a million in revenue, then I need to sell, you know, a thousand widgets or whatever, right? It's what are the actual things that you need to do?
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
And if you don't know, ask somebody. Or read a book. I know that might sound crazy, but most of the crazy shit that I know came from reading books. Ask ChatGPT. Call a mentor. Follow the person who's doing the thing today on social media and consume their content. And here's a little caveat to that or an addendum to that idea. Don't just consume their content. Watch what they actually do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
A lot of times you can learn just as much from digging into someone's social media account and watching what they're actually doing even more so than if you just listen to what they say. So don't just consume that person that you admire, that person whose life you would like to live or a version of their life, like your version of their life that you'd like to live.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
And it's completely cool, by the way, to have that. You can have aspirational individuals who – You know, you take different parts from their lives and say, you know, I'd love to have this kind of house and this kind of relationship with my spouse. And I'd like to have this kind of company and I'd like to be known for for expertise or thought leadership on this particular topic.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
It's completely cool to cherry pick different people's lives and things they do in their lives and admire them and then follow them, consume their content. But don't just consume their content. Watch what they actually do. So it's most likely not rocket science. It's most likely just work.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
But once we have the tasks, once we know the actual things that we need to do, step number three is where we drastically diverge from smart goals. Step number three is set non-negotiable habits. Goals aren't about outcomes. They're about the habits that drive those outcomes. If we focus on outcomes, it distracts us from the process. If you're in sales, you've heard detach from the outcome.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
Every part of your life in which you can detach from the outcome and focus on the habits is that create success, not the outcomes of success, but the habits that create success, you will see drastic positive improvements. This is kind of like an anecdote, but I played college baseball. I played a little baseball after college. My career really took off when I was a junior in high school.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
We'll be right back. And I found I was great at starting projects, but I was terrible at finishing them. And that's when I realized that hard work without goals just doesn't work. And some of you are probably listening to this going, duh, Ryan, you know, I've known about goals for years. Well, shit, sorry.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
And it was because I had a coach where I grew up in upstate New York. American Legion baseball was like the good summer baseball. That's where you wanted to play if you wanted to play in college, but you were still in high school, right? So tons of guys that went on to play in college and even further played American Legion where I was. There's different leagues all over the country.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
American Legion was the big thing. So I had this summer coach for my American Legion team. And he pounded into our heads this idea of detached from the outcome. And he also smoked cigarettes as he coached first base, so he used a lot of curse words and crazy metaphors, and he was very crass, and he's probably one of my favorite coaches ever.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
So I'm not going to share exactly how he conveyed that message to you, but... when I realized that it was okay for me to just focus on the work, focus on my mindset, on my setup, on my approach, when I came up to bat and I completely detached from whether or not I actually got a hit or got on base, surprisingly, My career jumped.
The Ryan Hanley Show
The Unreasonable Guide to Crushing Your 2025 Goals
I mean, I was good enough to be on the team at the time, but that season I led the team in RBIs and doubles and in batting average, and it just changed the trajectory of my baseball career. Who knows if I had stayed on the path that I was if I would have made it to college. But from that point on, playing college baseball was a clear path, and I – Bring it all the way back.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Every year we try to convince ourselves this year is going to be different. So we buy another template. We buy another productivity planner, shiny new goal diary. But these things don't work. See, only 8% of people actually achieve their goals. And what happens to the other 92%? They just stay stuck. They stay in the same patterns. They're stuck in the mental masturbation, the excuses.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
That could just be exercise or dribble a ball, hit off a tee, and you've earned your technology. Then get after it. I don't care after that. I want to watch TV. You want to play video games. I'm all good. As long as you get your work done first, earn it. So what is that one thing that you're willing to sacrifice?
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
In order to hit your goal, start with one thing that feels good, that integrates well, find a second thing. Simple reframe. What are you willing to give up? Not what you're willing to do. What are you willing to give up to hit your goals? All right, reframe number two. Problems have to be solved backwards. The quote here is from Charlie Munger. Many problems can't be solved forward.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
You need to think in reverse. So we oftentimes obsess over the chasm to the outcome. Too often we obsess over chasing the outcome and we we think through this path that gets us to success. There's a scene in Dune 2. If you've watched that movie, I love science fiction. I read the book. So Dune 2, there's this point.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
After when Paul Atreides has kind of drank the worm poison or whatever and his mind has expanded and his mother asks him, you know, kind of like, what's going to happen next? And he said, we're surrounded by enemies. But there's one path through that I can see. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
I love that scene, but it's very poor advice for us since we haven't drank special fictional poison that allows us to see multiple outcomes at once. Right. We chase this outcome. And what Charlie is telling us is by if we think to the outcome. and we work backwards, what we see are the things we need to avoid, right? What do we need to avoid? Not what do we need to do? What's the perfect path?
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Where are the roadblocks that are going to catch us? Can we start to see around corners? When we think in reverse, we can start to predict the pitfalls, the obstacles, the challenges. And we can figure out ways to avoid those obstacles before they ever happen. Now, we can never predict the future 100%. There are always going to be black swan events.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
But in most cases, the things that catch us are things that we should have seen if we were thinking about what we needed to avoid as much as the things that we needed to do to get to where we wanted to go. So again, thinking about the health example, you want to lose 10 pounds in the first quarter of 2025. What do you need to avoid?
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
One of my favorite things is when you leave comments and reviews, our team reads all of them myself. I read all the comments, all the reviews and try to respond to as many as I possibly can. It's just, you know, helps me understand what connects with you the best and helps me, you know, kind of, create the topics in which I'm going to address in this show.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Well, I need to avoid binge watching Netflix to midnight because that's going to reduce my energy for the next day. I need to avoid putting myself in situations where I'm going to maybe over drink alcohol or eat too many sweets or treats. I need to avoid those things, right? Those, what are the pitfalls? What are the places?
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
What are the situations that create the obstacles that create the anchors to our success? The way to get there is not thinking, what do I need to do today forward? But thinking, okay, in 10 years, I'm on top of this mountain. Think backwards of all the things that, that we would have to avoid in order to get there.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
And what you're gonna find are at least a few things that we can position ourselves either personally or in our professional life, that we can position ourselves to make sure that those things do not stop us from getting to the top of that mountain. So thinking backwards, thinking about what do we need to avoid Not always just what do we need to do? Reframe number three.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
And this is a big one because comparison is an enormous issue in our society today with social media and how much access we have to everyone's accolades on LinkedIn or Instagram or whatever social media platforms you spend time on. We need to study 10 years ahead, 20 years ahead, not 10 steps ahead. The quote here, and this is an anonymous quote, you're wasting time studying the wrong people.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Stop obsessing over peers. Start learning from giants. Don't look at those that you consider peers, that you consider to be at the same level and compare yourself to them. Find the person who's already done the thing you want to do, who's already living the life that you want to live. And then this is the key to this reframe.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Back engineer their life and the things that they did to get to where they are. And that could be simple internet research. That could be reaching out to them for a phone call. That could be, you know, buying coffee for them and having them sit down with you and asking them questions about what they did when they were at your level.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Someone who's 20 years ahead, you can't live their lifestyle, right? When someone's 20 years ahead of you, has made their money, has set their life up, has positioned themselves in a way to be in a position that you want to be in, trying to mirror their life today is not going to work. Figure out what they were doing way back when they were in the position that you were in.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Find out what were the tactics? What were the ideas? What were the mindsets? What were the strategies? What were the systems that they put in place in their life to get to that point 20 years in the future? Because they weren't doing the same things that 20 years ago, 10 years ago. that they're doing now. I guarantee that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
And this is one of the hard parts about listening to podcasts from people who are successful when they explain, you know, their morning routine. And you're like, well, I don't have two hours in the middle of the day to go to hire a trainer and go to the gym and do a sauna soak and a cold plunge and, you know, have all my meal prep. I mean, of course you don't because you're not at their level yet.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Find out what they were doing 10 years ago, 20 years ago. What were the systems they had in place? Learn those systems, put those systems into place, and you will be on their path. Because that, my friends, is the path you want to be on. All right, so you say you want success. It's time to stop saying it. You have to do the work.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
It helps inform me around the guests that I need to reach out to and book for the show to help you grow. As I said, defy ordinary and become a civilized savage. All right, so today we're talking about reframing your mindset. And as someone who's struggled with limiting beliefs for most of my life, you know, these podcast episodes, particularly the solo episodes that I do, are really...
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
And I know what you're probably saying to yourself, but Ryan, what about all this reframing stuff? Don't I have to reframe my mindset before I get to work? And the answer is no. Well, yes. But you can do both at the same time, right? You don't need to wait. Pick one of the reframes that I discussed in this episode. Pick one of the reframes from the examples I gave at the beginning of the episode.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Do a chat GPT search or a Google search and find other ways of reframing mindsets for success and pick one of those. Do the work while you implement that reframe and reframe, action, review, reframe, action, review, reframe, action, review, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
The reframes that produce results, the mindsets, the frameworks that put you in a position for success, you turn those into systems. The ones that don't, you throw them out. It's that simple. I don't know what's going to work for you. No guru, no talking head, no thought leader, no exceptional entrepreneur, no amazing six-figure keynote speaker knows exactly what's going to work for you.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
You have to do that work. And it is simple as putting it in place, tracking your action, reviewing the results. And if it works, create a system around it. Make it part of who you are. But if it doesn't produce the results you're looking for, throw it out, get rid of it, pick something else and try again.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
And do that over and over and over again until you have a simple core set of systems in your life that puts you on the path that you want to live. It is a tremendous amount of work, but it is absolutely there for the taking because this is what the best do. The three examples that I pulled, I could have pulled 100 examples.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Every successful entrepreneur, business person, community leader, when you dig into their mindset, it is because they took an idea and they reframed it to match the success that they wanted. And then they made it a system that they executed throughout their entire life. James Clear says, you don't rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Goals are only good as the actions that back them up. Those actions are the systems and the systems are determined by your mindset. Your mindset fuels the systems. You cannot put a system in place and have an executed properly if your mindset isn't properly aligned behind it. And you'll never hit your goals if you don't have the proper systems in place. Now, you have two choices here.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
You can let this be just another piece of content that you've heard on the internet somewhere, or you can actually implement this. Guys, I know there's so much content around mindsets, but the deeper I get into my career, the more I realize that When your actions, your systems are properly aligned with mindsets that produce results behind them, things work out. You get to your goals.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
You find meaning. You find purpose. And you find the most positive derivative feeling that you can behind it. Joy, happiness, possibly even bliss. It's wonderful. And that's what I want for you. Winston Churchill said, success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts. Last year's mindset will produce last year's results. Change is hard. Change creates fear.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
But as we've discussed so many times on this podcast, fear is a vector for action. You are a civilized savage. You got this. Now go and get it. This is the way.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
It's like therapy to myself. Honestly, most of the ideas, concepts, strategies, these are pep talks. These are me working through ideas in my head, the things that I want to improve on. And I believe that if I want to improve on them, that... Some of you may as well. Some of these things I have kind of worked into my day to day life and have helped me reach my achievements.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
You know, I've done cool things. I've experienced success in many aspects of my life. I'm very blessed. But I deal with all the same mental nonsense that you do every single day. You know, the only difference might be at 43, 40, you know, going on 44 years old. Thank you so much for having me. For me, I am not trying to put that on you that it will guarantee success. I don't.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
But what I hope is that I can put enough ideas in front of you that you will try enough things that you will figure out the right set of tumblers to put your mindset, to put your your life, your business, your relationships in a place where you wake up every day energized and that the things that you do add energy to your life.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
They don't take energy away because that's how we get to where we want to go. If you are doing energy draining activities all day, every day, you will never reach your goals. It'll never happen. We can't refill our energy bucket fast enough if it's constantly being drained.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
We have to come up with the frameworks, the mindsets, the strategies, the systems that drain our energy less when they're things we don't necessarily want to do but have to do. And that we're doing enough of the things that create energy, that build energy inside us, that we're just driven to come back day after day after day to hit those goals. I in no way consider myself a finished product.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
They're stuck in their own heads. You've never not hit a goal because you didn't have the right template, planner, or diary. The problem isn't the tools in our hands. It's the frameworks in our head. If you want massive success, if you want to hit your goals, you don't need another checklist to be a massive success. And whatever that means to you, you need to reframe your mindset.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
I don't ever want to come off in these kind of lecture style solo episodes that this is me preaching to you. I am working through a lot of these ideas in real time, many of which I have put into practice and I share when I have, some of which are things that I'm researching that I want to put in practice into my life. Because for me, one of the great energy creators is a...
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
commitment to improvement on a day-to-day basis. And we all have setbacks. There are plenty of things that I do that, you know, are not always productive that aren't exactly the way I want to handle something, or I react in a way that I don't particularly care for. And, You know, maybe you got to apologize to someone after and then you then you try to learn from that and change.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
So, you know, I never want to come off in these episodes like I believe in any way that I'm a finished product. I am not. This is a lifelong pursuit of personal development and peak performance. And I hope that you appreciate and understand that. And I love that you continually show up to come along on this ride because you None of us were meant to be ordinary.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
That's why I put the defy ordinary in the tagline. And inside us is this civilized savage, this absolute monster who also knows how to integrate into society to be a good person, a caring person, a compassionate person that can get things done. That's the idea of a civilized savage. And it's inside you. It's inside me. And I want to embody that every day.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
I want to be someone who people can look to in a time of need, whether that is empathy, compassion, understanding. Or it's bust down doors, tear things up, and get shit done. And we all have it inside us. And I think a big part of why we're put on this earth is figuring out our particular set of tumblers that unlocks that power. Power for us. Okay. All right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
So with that done and passed us, I'm going to share three reframes, three mindset reframes today with you. But before we do that, let's just talk quickly about what mindset reframes are and why they actually matter, why we need to reframe our mindset, because oftentimes we We're not off on what a mindset needs to be. We might just be approaching that mindset from the wrong direction.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
So I'm going to share with you a few examples that I found from some of the people that I admire their work. So I want to start by breaking down how some of the most influential individuals that all of us have heard of, how they created mindset reframes, how they reframe the way they view things. their work, their lives to create massive success. And we'll start with Steve Jobs.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Steve Jobs is famous for saying no. The quote, focus is about saying no. Saying no to say yes. You know, this is what allowed Apple to go from being nearly bankrupt to a $3 trillion empire. When Steve Jobs came back into the company after being fired, after his hiatus into Pixar, when he came back into Apple, they had all these different product lines.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
They were saying yes to this vendor's request and this company's request. And Steve Jobs cut tons of programs. And he said, we are going to focus. We are going to say no to everything that doesn't align with our core mission so we can be the absolute best at that thing, which will unlock doors for us to say yes to opportunities in the future.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
But oftentimes, with the best intentions, we say yes to far too many things. which forces us to say no to other things that could be exponential growth opportunities for us. All right, the second reframe is from someone that we actually just recently dove deep into in an interview I did with Eric Jorgensen.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
So if you go back a few episodes to that conversation that I had with Eric Jorgensen, he wrote The Almanac of Naval, he wrote the anthology of Bology, and he has a new book coming out in the fall called The Book of Elon Musk. And Elon's famous reframe is, is first principles. The quote from Elon, I think it's most important to reason from first principles rather than by analogy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
And what that means is getting down to the core component elements of the problem, not thinking in large terms, not staying at the surface, but digging down. And as Eric said in our interview, you have to go beyond the first why. Right. You don't just ask if this if this particular in the case of Elon, it's, you know, the most famous example is the is the rocket ships. Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
He wants to put these rocket ships up into space. He wants to eventually travel to Mars. And the current problem is it's just too expensive to do it. So the question isn't why is it so expensive? The question is, why is it so expensive? Well, to create this particular rocket module, it costs this. And you could say, well, where can we find a cheaper rocket?
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Elon then went beyond the first why to say, well, what are the component part costs and why do they cost so much? And why does a rocket that might cost half a million dollars to build based on the component parts cost?
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
cost $20 million to actually purchase once put all together and getting to the absolute first principle idea of the specific component cost of each piece of material down to the price of the aluminum that they were buying to coat certain pieces of a rocket. I'm not a rocket engineer, so don't actually know all the names of them, but
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
He got all the way down to the negotiation and sourcing of the actual aluminum used for the parts that would then be engineered, manufactured, and then compiled and placed together in the rocket so that he could drastically reduce the cost. But he would never have got there if he stopped at the first why he got down to first principles.
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3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
And that's a complete reframing of the mindset of why does something cost so much? The third and final reframing kind of example that I want to give you before we get into specific strategies that I want to share with you today comes from Sarah Blakely. And Sarah Blakely is the founder of Spanx. Incredibly successful. Tons of books written about her. Amazing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
If you ever see her do interviews, just very dynamic individual. Big fan of Sarah Blakely. And she credits her father actually for reframing how she thinks about failure. The quote that she heard at the dinner table from her father that she then carried with her her entire life is, what did you fail at today?
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
So instead of what most of us ask our children or ourselves is what amazing thing that I do today, her father would ask her, what did you fail at today? What was the miss? Where did you go wrong? And then reframing that not as, well, I should feel bad about myself because I got a bad grade on a test or I did poorly in a sporting event.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
But what were the things that I could do differently next time to make sure that's not a fail? Right. So the reframe is instead of considering our wins at the end of every day, consider our failures and then going a step beyond that to not just think, well, OK, and marinating on our failures. What are the things that I could do? Right. Frame them as lessons.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
What are the things that I could do better next time to make sure that that same situation doesn't create a fail? It creates a win. So these are examples of some of our most prolific and successful business entrepreneurs, leaders that our country has ever seen, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
They live by these mindset ideas and these slight reframes that take common ideas, ordinary ideas, and turn them into extraordinary strategies by which they run their life and drive the mass success that they were ultimately able to achieve. The common thread between all of them is that they didn't let their circumstances dictate their success. They rewrote their narratives.
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3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
They didn't take the standard platitude advice, the standard cliche mindset. They didn't live and die by that idea. They analyzed it and turned it and twisted it and pivoted it and took it from different angles to further fit it into their particular life situation, how their brain works, how the success they wanted to have, the goals they had, who they were.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Welcome back to the show, everyone. Ryan Hanley. And this is the place where we help ambitious, driven individuals defy ordinary and become the civilized savages.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
They reframe these ideas to allow them to approach each day from a position of power, power and opportunity. And we can all do the same thing. There's If you take away their success, they're human beings just like all of us. They have demons just like all of us. They have health issues. They have relational issues. They have family issues.
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3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
They have all these different, you know, obstacles that they run into just like all of us. And if you take away their success and look at them as simple humans, there is nothing different about them than us, which means we can do the same things that they can do.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
So let's dig into the three mindset reframes that I wanna share with you today that I think are kind of easy to grab onto, easy to implement ideas that if we're struggling with this concept or we don't necessarily know where to start, right? Take one of these, take whichever one feels like it can be the most beneficial to you and try it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
All right, mindset reframe number one, write down what you're willing to give up. If you feel overwhelmed, If you feel frustration, if you feel like there's too much going on for you to ever get ahead, if you're not willing to sacrifice for your goals, your goals become the sacrifice. Another quote from Steve Jobs, innovation is saying no to a thousand things.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
And you can replace innovation with personal improvement. with sales success, with relational success, what are you willing to give up? Are you willing to give up golf on Saturday to improve the relationship with your children and your spouse?
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3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Are you willing to give up that bowl of ice cream that's your comfort treat at the end of the night to improve your physical health and your wellness and reduce your body weight? But we can't just stop at thinking about it. We have to write them down. What are those sacrifices? So the common platitude here would be what are you willing to do? The reframe is what are you willing to not do?
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
that they were meant to be and if you enjoy this show please subscribe whether you're watching on youtube listening wherever you listen to podcasts and if you believe that there are more people who could benefit from this content would love for you to share in whatever way is most comfortable for you social media email text just tell a golf buddy doesn't matter and you know
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3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
And it could just be one thing. Sometimes this idea is taken to the extreme and we're going to cut out all treats and we're going to stop drinking and we're going to, you know, bump bump. And that doesn't work. Start with one thing. Cut out one thing. Make one sacrifice and see how it impacts your life. Maybe cut that treat down or that ice cream that you eat at the end of the night to once.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
Earn it. right? Earn it. I talked to my kids about this, you know, just like all kids, they love technology. And what I say is get your homework done, get your work done for school, do some sort of physical activity. It can be as simple as, you know, 50 pushups, go out, do some pull-ups in the garage, go down and do some teamwork.
The Ryan Hanley Show
3 Ways to Reframe Your Mindset for Massive Success
You know, they're baseball players go downstairs and dribble the basketball for a little while, do some work on your ball handling, get a little better. at your real life, your physical life, right? I always tell them, don't optimize your virtual life, optimize your physical life, right? Get your work done at school, work on your brain, do a little bit of physical work.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous episode for you today, a conversation with Adrian Kaler, co-founder and senior partner at Take New Ground, a leadership consulting firm. And Adrian talks about leadership in a way that I don't think you're used to. We approach topics from angles that...
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
As much as I always have a direction, as I told you, I want to talk about the shit that you're fired up about. That's what makes this fun. And you had a conversation with one of your clients, and I'd love for you to just maybe break down what you described to me before I yelled at you to stop so that we could get it on air.
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
No. No, you haven't lost me. The opposite. These are my favorite episodes. I have like 4,000 different directions that I want to go.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
Just break that conversation down because I think it's a great place to start.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
How much do you think the... fluid nature of language in our current environment impacts this and I and I know I've even felt this myself where I tend to Be okay Unintentionally offending someone if I'm being honest with them and I don't mean that to be hurtful just trying to say like it is but but I struggle with it as well where I so much of what we say today may not mean the same thing.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
Words have different meanings. Words are taken out of context. And I have friends that I talk to in leadership positions, and they'll share that they're not even sure. They may want to say, they may honestly, all the things you said, they may be willing to die. They may want to change. And they're willing to do the work. They literally don't know how to put the words together
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
to communicate the message not because they don't know what words they want to say but they're worried that the words they say are gonna mean different things or be taken in a way that they don't mean and now all of a sudden they're gonna find themselves in a situation that is
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
that is not even, you know, not in trouble for addressing the problem, but in trouble for addressing the problem in a way that didn't match a HR requirement or, you know, how do we work past some of like, you know, some of the woke nature that are so many organizations have found themselves in?
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
That's how I'm joking.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
I love that you use the term grace. Yes. I feel like it's a core component to having a conversation with anyone. And we've lost so much of that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
That's what we all need. You know, it's funny. I'm working on this is out of context, but I'm working on an arm sleeve. I have my shoulder to my elbow done. And it's not fully in context of the biblical quote, but I just was working with my tattoo artist. I'm going to have grace upon grace put right on my forearm where I can see it as a reminder to myself, right?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
Because so much of communicating... is actually hearing the feedback that you get post what you say. We say something to someone, and then we wanna be heard so badly, and we barf our thing onto them, and then we don't do for them what we wanted them to do for us. And it's like, we want grace from them, but we then don't give them the grace to have the response.
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
Like you said, they're gonna hear it however they hear it, regardless of what you say. And we have to be just as willing as leaders and as communicators to take that feedback and give them grace for their response, be it poor or angry or depressed or disappointed or excited, whatever that feedback is.
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
And do you have a method – and I just want to stay on grace for a second – a method of – or philosophy, format, formula for – Is cultivating more grace in ourselves? Is it a daily reminder? Is it maybe meeting prep? I know one of the things I did, I had a very poor meeting. One of the poorest meetings I've ever had. It was a very important meeting. I knew it was coming.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
And before that meeting, I think it was at like 10, I had three negative client interactions, three problems that as a CEO of the company, I was the CEO of this particular company, this company I founded and exited from, but I had three client situations I had to deal with, that I had to be involved in and come down and deal with. you know, my head is swirling.
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
I have some frustration for things that weren't done or things that were said that shouldn't be said, et cetera. And I roll into this meeting full steam with zero prep and I just blew it. I mean, I just went about as poorly as it could have gone and it was all me. And what I then just did from that point on and forever was build a 10 minute or five minute if I don't have the time
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
period to kind of reset myself and say, okay, I'm coming into this meeting. Here's the point, right? And one of those things that I say, especially when I know it's going to be maybe just something beyond a tactical conversation is I literally will say to myself, grace upon grace. It's why I'm tattooing. I'm at grace upon grace. Give yourself grace, give them grace, whatever. But
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
It's not an easy thing. It's a simple concept but a very tough concept I find sometimes to internalize. How do you recommend leaders work on that aspect of themselves?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
Don't worry.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
Basically, it was one of those conversations to give you context to how bad it was. It was one of those conversations where I basically pulled the ultimate no-no for a leader, which was just fucking do what I say. Like I can't listen to the excuses. I can't listen to your reasons. Like we have to get this hill taken and everything you're saying to me.
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
is, is nonsense to take in the hill, like just fucking do it. And that, that statement. And I know like literally as it was coming out of my mouth, dude, I like the other part of me is going, what are you saying? But the, the, the, the, the bad version, the, the, the devil's side of me is just had full control in that moment. And you know, it was like, You're like, it's like watching a car.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
It was like watching a car wreck in slow motion. And as soon as I hit end on the zoom meeting, I am, I was like, I, I, I knew every mistake I had made. I knew it was not, you know, I'm like, that's not who you are, blah, blah, blah. Like I literally, you know, I don't coach or, or, or have clients like you do, but I have done some coaching and like, this is like one Oh one leadership.
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
Like never tell them just do their fucking job. Like never say that term ever. Oh my God. Yeah. It was so bad. It was so bad. Yeah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
One of the things I think is interesting is we often don't know the value of a particular meeting. We may walk into a meeting and think that it's an everyday run-of-the-mill tactical meeting. And if we're not –
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
thinking clearly, as you said, if we're not honest, if we're not present, if we're not direct and clear in what we're trying to say, you don't know that something someone hears in that meeting could put them on a path. It could create resentment for them and they start to disassociate. There's so many things that can happen if we don't approach each one of these situations. as if, right?
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
It doesn't, it may not be for the million dollar sale, as you said, like on paper, but it could be for the million dollar sale six months from now in terms of how you approach it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
And, and there's this, you know, going back to some of what you said, there's, this example is going to sound trite, but, but it, it, it's been, it was meaningful to me in, in so much as the, the example is maybe a little ludicrous, but in the most recent Deadpool Wolverine movie, there's one scene where,
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
that i find to be very deep uh the movie for the most part is exactly what you would expect from a deadpool wolverine movie if you haven't seen it but which is fine gratuitous action and comedy but there is one like fairly deep moment that i think actually i've internalized a little bit and it's uh a moment where kind of the hero in this case wolverine is pulling back
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
I've never even considered in the depth and understanding mixed with empathy and energy that Adrian approaches. What he does is going to get you leaning forward in your seat. It's going to get you taking notes and thinking differently about the way you lead your teams. This is a conversation. This conversation. These are the conversations that.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
in this scenario, this version of multiverse version of Wolverine is like the worst Wolverine of all the Wolverines, right? That's kind of the scenario. And the young girl that in a previous movie he had protected and died for in order to allow her to save, and this is a Wolverine from another multiverse. Hopefully this makes sense to everyone listening.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
If they haven't seen these movies, it gets a little screwy. But... He says to her, I'm not the guy. And as she's walking away, she stops and turns back at him and looks and says, you were never the right guy. And what that said to me was, if you're in the seat, regardless of what you feel about yourself, you are the person for that thing.
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
You don't have to believe, but everybody else believes because you're in the seat. And if there's nothing else, that can give you power, it can give you confidence, it can give you clarity on what you're supposed to do. None of us are the right guy or gal. There is no right guy or gal, which is really the point. There's no right person.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
It's can you be the thing that you need to be in that moment to achieve the goal that needs to get done. And sometimes that's You know, being more masculine. Sometimes that's being more feminine. And most of the time, it's having some ability to intermingle the two in whatever appropriate mix makes sense to execute the mission. And my question out of this diatribe is...
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
Many of us stay surface, right? We find ourselves in these places because – you said something that I wrote down that I've been waiting to come back to. Specificity is dangerous. And I think the reason we stay shallow and we stay high level is because – if we crack the surface and try to become more, what if more of me still isn't good enough? Right.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
And when you approach people and with all your background in theology, and I, I'm obviously a believer too. My tattoo is the American flag with an insect cross. Um, I'm just, I firmly believe in, in, in have a very strong relationship with God, but how do we work through that mindset as leaders? Because I,
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
To me, to get to all this depth that you've discussed, we have to be willing to take that first step, which is being okay with trying harder and still being okay if we fail.
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
Adrian Kaler, my friends, this has been phenomenal. I could do three more hours with you and and keep going. Appreciate the hell out of you real quick. If people are interested, if they if they do want to work with you, they do want to learn more about your world or just just be around your content and what you do. How do they get in touch with you? Where should they go?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
It makes a lot of sense. I was actually talking to one of my counterparts. I'm the executive chief marketing officer for AI company. And I was talking to one of the executives about. In particular. Oh my gosh, I just lost my question. You got it. Well, I'm going to ask you a different question. The audience knows that I do that sometimes. I'll come back to it.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
I want to dig into, before I come back to where I was going there, you said something that just absolutely captured me. When someone speaks a metaphor, they're avoiding. Can you dive into that while I try to re-rack my brain for the other question that I wanted to ask you?
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
Yeah, I love that. On the show, I refer to what you just described as glazing, right? We like to just put a little glaze on what we're trying to say to make it seem shiny and nice, but we never want to dig in. I figured out what I wanted to ask you or at least get your take on. We were talking internally about this particular thing with our sales team and how the story – I saw this stat online.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
This is why I do this podcast, is this conversation right here. I do this podcast to bring you conversations like the one you're about to hear. Enjoy.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
I think maybe Simon Sinek had shared it that we feel 90% of the win in announcing the thing that we're going – in announcing the goal. without ever hitting the goal. So by announcing the goal, we're actually capturing all the dopamine and all the positive emotion that comes with hitting the goal, and we haven't even done the work yet. And the conversation we were having internally was around
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Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
It's okay to have these goals, but I don't want to hear about what you're going to do. I want to see what you did to get there. And reframing the conversation in that way so that we're actually looking at real activity, not this activity that we're going to do someday, which will get us to this goal that we think sounds really good so that we all feel great about ourselves.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
And I guess my question for you that I wanted to actually ask was – How do you go about coaching someone through this? Because I've seen this to be pervasive through entire organizations from CEOs of large companies all the way down to entry-level individuals.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
They'll tell you all the things they want to do, and then they struggle with the motivation to do the activities to hit the goal because they already feel great about the fact that they set this goal that makes them feel awesome.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
podcast is for free consulting that's that's why everyone wants to pretend like it's about the audience but it's really about free consulting so um you know i asked you the question i ask all uh guests before they come on is there any anything that's like on your brain that's got you kind of thinking or your wheels spinning because
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
If I'm listening to this and I look out over my team and the table that we sit at and talk, you know, And I don't see that. Right. I see the finger pointing. I see. Well, this was Steve's job or Tammy's job or Sally Sue's or whoever. And they're the reason why this project didn't get complete. I have that finger pointing going on. Yeah.
The Ryan Hanley Show
Why Most Leaders Fail: The Danger of Avoiding Honest Conversations
How do I start to break down that culture to get to where to get to what you're describing? You call me.