The Ryan Hanley Show
Turning Suffering Into STRENGTH And Success - Christian Ray Flores
Thu, 6 Feb 2025
Ryan Hanley sits down with Christian Ray Flores, an international pop sensation, minister, entrepreneur, coach, and author. Drawing from his extraordinary life experiences, shares profound insights on the concept of purposeful suffering and how it contributes to personal growth and resilience. Raised amid adversity, moving through countries like Russia and Chile, Christian embodies the power of overcoming obstacles to achieve a meaningful and successful life. He delves into the principles of antifragility, urging listeners to integrate manageable suffering into their daily lives to become stronger, smarter, and more agile. 🎯 Takeaways: We don't have enough suffering in our lives. Constructive suffering can lead to growth. Faith and generational wisdom play a crucial role in personal development. 💬 Sound Bites: "Seek out not too much suffering because too much suffering will break you, but enough suffering to grow you." You were designed to build and evolve and face obstacles and overcome obstacles. That's what makes life worth living." - Christian Ray Flores "If you're not a Christian, you can be I can coach you as long as you don't mind me quoting the Bible because these are eternal truths." 🔗 Connect and Discover: Website: https://www.christianrayflores.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christianrayflores/?hl=en 📖 Chapters: 00:00 Embracing Adversity with Christian Flores 04:35 Perseverance and International Success 06:17 Growth Through Suffering 10:28 Raising Kids Outside Comfort Zones 15:30 Investing in Relationships Globally 16:27 Fascination with 19th-20th Century Lifestyle 22:16 Rethinking Success and Entitlement 24:12 Success Without Faith's Foundation 28:14 Reviving Generational Thinking 30:30 Acting as If: Path to Belief 32:51 Seeking Relationship Fulfillment Guidance 38:22 Addressing Generational Emotional Trauma 39:53 Guiding Awareness of Inner Struggles 44:26 Morning Metacognition for Daily Clarity 46:19 Navigating Life Transitions 50:36 Silence Negative Self-Talk 52:32 Join Waitlist for Coaching 📌 𝗙𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗪 𝗠𝗘 𝗢𝗡: Website: https://go.ryanhanley.com/ Course Page: https://masteroftheclose.com/ Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ryan-hanley-show/id1480262657 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5AZFuTiQsgS9hMQDDdtlOr?si=98432b7806534486 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryan_hanley
Chapter 1: What does purposeful suffering mean?
We do not have enough suffering in our lives. That's according to today's guest, Christian Ray Flores, international pop sensation, and I mean that quite legitimately, minister, entrepreneur,
Entrepreneur, coach, author, incredible human being, someone who spent a large portion of his life dealing with adversity and trauma, growing up in Russia, living through the Chilean Revolution, having his father in a concentration camp. made it to America, and absolutely has dominated.
Just tremendous human being, the range, the depth, the philosophy, coupled with tactical guidelines that he's going to share with you. Guys, I hit 15% of what I wanted to talk to Christian about. We're going to have him back on the show again because we simply ran out of time.
This is one of my favorite episodes, one of my favorite conversations I've had in a long time, and you're just absolutely going to adore Christian. I highly
Highly recommend that you dig into his work, that you follow along, connect with him on socials, subscribe to his newsletter, all those things, because this is someone who I'm going to be connecting deeper with because we just matched philosophies in a way that I just, it's why I do the podcast.
Episodes like this are why I do this show because I get to meet incredible people and share them with you. With that said, my friends, this audience is growing rapidly and I appreciate it. I love you for that. If you're listening, please like, subscribe, watch, leave a review, comment. I read every review. I read every comment on this show.
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Chapter 2: How can suffering contribute to personal growth?
If you agree with question, if you disagree, right, come over to the YouTube video. Watch us have this conversation. Leave a comment and Christian will come in and answer it. I'll come in and answer it. My friends, I love you for being part of this community. And if you want to go deeper, if you want to get insights beyond just what comes through the podcast or through the YouTube channel.
Head over to my website, ryanhanley.com. Subscribe to the newsletter. It comes out once a week, unique content. We're driving you to resources, ideas. It is my best work, my deepest work. We put through the newsletter, right? Oftentimes, it is diving on topics that we didn't get to fully address in the show. We'll dive deeper there. It's completely free, ryanhanley.com. Head over today.
I love you for being here. I love you for listening to this show. Let's get on to Christian Ray Flores. in a crude laboratory in the basement of his home so dude when i was researching you and getting ready for this i gotta say i i had a moment where i felt very emasculated by by what you've done You had, during your pop career, some of the most epic hair I have ever seen in my entire life.
I was looking at it going, I could never pull that off. Look how freaking awesome that is.
Chapter 3: Why is it important to raise kids outside comfort zones?
That was the hair that did it, huh? Yeah, it was the hair.
You know, you've done all these amazing things in business, but that hair really got me now. Well, I, you know... Born in Russia, you immigrate to Latin America, you have this wild story, and you can go into that as much as you want, but maybe starting there, I'm really interested in, and maybe dive into your backstory just a little bit.
We don't have to do every detail, but maybe some of the highlights, because I think what I was most intrigued by was you did not have, in any regard, a standard... you know, upbringing, you had, there was tons of turmoil stuff that like literally your, your father's put in jail for a period of time.
Yet you have found a way to, to not just persevere, but, but to excel in life in many different areas. And I was in, I'm really want to dive into, especially early on in this podcast, what those early experiences did for you and how you have taken them and not use them as
in a victimhood way yeah but use them as a way to build strength and and write books become a pop star international pops i mean literally i'm reading about how boris yeltsin's using your songs in his campaigns i mean just just this incredible life where so many people that would come up the way you did and have the early portion of your life the way it was they would they would turtle in they would they would they would compress they would become depressed and
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Chapter 4: How can we invest in global relationships?
And you have done the opposite. So I'm sure every moment of your life hasn't been, you know, completely joyous and amazing, but like, you know, you, you've persevered so well and driven through it. I'm, I'm, I'm interested in starting there.
Okay. So thank you for, thanks for asking. And I think that is the question, right? And you know, So to give your audience a little bit of a background in a very, very fast-forward way, what you're referring to is that I basically changed four countries by age seven. My dad was in a concentration camp in Chile. We were refugees in a refugee facility.
Then we went traveling to Germany, then back to Russia, then to Africa. There was a civil war in Africa when we were there. There were bombings literally across the street from my house. They blew up a building. And then we sort of, I ended up coming back as a teenager to like the worst Soviet Union restrictive environment.
And then after the fall of the wall, I just sort of, it's almost like took flight, right? There was like escape velocity that happened. And the question, I guess, is about that. How does that happen? Right. And I became one of the pop stars. And then we moved to the States. We started several businesses, nonprofits and did a bunch of other things.
And none of it is really over the top grandiose, but it is sort of if you think about it, wow, that's a lot. Right. And I would say The question that I get most is what you're saying. How do you not contract? How do you expand in the midst of massive, massive disadvantages and life-threatening circumstances and things like that?
And I think honestly, for me, the answer is that there's actually a tremendous potential opportunity for growth in the midst of suffering. if you process it correctly, right? And actually, I don't think we have enough suffering in our lives that makes us weaker, right? And I mean, biologically, that's even true, right? You don't go to the gym, you become weaker.
You go to the gym, you create suffering, you become stronger, right? But it's extraordinarily true across all dimensions of life. So learning, ambition, romance, friendship, money, all those things It actually works universally. And it's not that I wish, I mean, it's actually impossible to replicate my kind of suffering that is completely out of control.
But you can actually replicate suffering on purpose that is constructive suffering that makes you grow. And I think that's the answer is that you interpret suffering as a win of some sort. And that's a mindset shift, right? Yeah.
I love the idea that we don't have enough suffering in our lives. I completely agree with you. How does someone who say is coming up in a standard American middle-class family and a neighborhood that's safe, that's never had to worry about gun violence or poverty or drugs, that it all feels kind of, it feels outside of them. They may see it on the news or hear something
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Chapter 5: What is antifragility and why is it essential?
You know, in my backstory, I grew up in a very small, very depressed town in the middle of the woods in upstate New York. We used to say that you could keep your doors open at night because the criminals lived in our town. They didn't steal in our town. And, you know, so... Not that I've had, you know, I haven't lived in a war-torn area.
I haven't lived in another country where there's just completely different challenges that you face on a day-to-day basis. But I didn't necessarily have it easy. We were certainly lower class, you know, all that kind of thing. Like, you'd have three shirts and one pair of jeans for school for the year. And you'd just wear them over and over again until they fell off you, right?
I mean, that was just what it was like. That's pretty third world, man.
Even if it was in America, absolutely. So now I have, and this is why I'm just so... I'm so excited to chat with you today is now I'm raised, you know, I've risen up out of that, like my sole goal in life, even at the age of 10. And I was telling my kids this the other day, like at 10, I had this idea of like, I need to get out of here. Like I need to get out of here and never come back.
Like this is not where I want to be as I grow up. And I've achieved that to a certain extent. My kids live in that bubble, right? They've grown up in that bubble community where it's safe, it's nice. The people are, you know, good people. For the most part of them, treats them well. There's sports leagues and community. Okay. I struggle every day with... How do I show them?
How do I introduce them to experiences where they start to feel that pain? Right. Obviously, I don't want to put them in in mortal danger, but I want them to experience some pain and some because, man, I'll tell you, even at my age, I'm 43 years old. Right. I have so many friends who grew up, say, in the community I live in now. They grew up here. Yeah. I look at them in there.
So many of them are either miserable, like just straight miserable, even though by the outside they have a good life, or they're like... What's the right word? Like, like they're like dead inside, right? There's just no like, they're just kind of like go through the motions. You know, they, they bitch about their kids. They bitch about their wife. They bitch about their job.
They bitch about their taxes. And I'm like, dude, those are, those are not real problems. Like your wife is actually okay. Your kids are fine. Like, you know, I don't know. They pick up the garbage. Your tax are going somewhere. I mean, I don't love tax like anybody, but like, you know, your garbage gets picked up. Your roads are clean. The fire.
yeah department shows up you know like i don't want them to grow up to be those people like i want you know so like in how do we start to cultivate now you've seen the outside world you're in america you've written this love story to america which i want to get to like if if i'm coming up to you and asking for advice like how do you start to how does someone like that how does a parent do that how do we start to indoctrinate them to this idea of suffering being a good thing
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Chapter 6: How can we address generational emotional trauma?
Chapter 7: What role does faith play in personal development?
someone talk about it, but they've never experienced it. They've never run into it. Their school is relatively safe. How does that person who's listening to this and going, you know, I hear what he's saying. How do they cultivate that in their own life? What are some of the constructive ways that someone could find suffering, bring suffering into their lives and start to grow again?
Exactly. Basically what you need to do is seek out not too much suffering. because too much suffering will break you, but enough suffering to grow you. And that is actually, there's a term coined by Nassim Taleb called antifragile, right? And that's antifragility. Antifragility is the ability to get better, stronger, smarter, more agile, not in spite of suffering, but because of suffering.
So I would say the formula there is keep 80% sort of safe, predictable, and create 20% across all dimensions every single day in the unsafe, painful suffering, and you will be unstoppable, I believe.
So I love Annie Fragile. It's one of my favorite books. It's on the wall behind me. It's one of my most recommended books. It's an incredible work. You know, so you've seen the outside world, right? Like outside of America. Like I have so many friends and I know we don't know each other that well.
You know, in my backstory, I grew up in a very small, very depressed town in the middle of the woods in upstate New York. We used to say that you could keep your doors open at night because the criminals lived in our town. They didn't steal in our town. And, you know, so... Not that I've had, you know, I haven't lived in a war-torn area.
I haven't lived in another country where there's just completely different challenges that you face on a day-to-day basis. But I didn't necessarily have it easy. We were certainly lower class, you know, all that kind of thing. Like, you'd have three shirts and one pair of jeans for school for the year. And you'd just wear them over and over again until they fell off you, right?
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Chapter 8: How can parenting cultivate resilience in children?
I mean, that was just what it was like. That's pretty third world, man.
Even if it was in America, absolutely. So now I have, and this is why I'm just so... I'm so excited to chat with you today is now I'm raised, you know, I've risen up out of that, like my sole goal in life, even at the age of 10. And I was telling my kids this the other day, like at 10, I had this idea of like, I need to get out of here. Like I need to get out of here and never come back.
Like this is not where I want to be as I grow up. And I've achieved that to a certain extent. My kids live in that bubble, right? They've grown up in that bubble community where it's safe, it's nice. The people are, you know, good people. For the most part of them, treats them well. There's sports leagues and community. Okay. I struggle every day with... How do I show them?
How do I introduce them to experiences where they start to feel that pain? Right. Obviously, I don't want to put them in in mortal danger, but I want them to experience some pain and some because, man, I'll tell you, even at my age, I'm 43 years old. Right. I have so many friends who grew up, say, in the community I live in now. They grew up here. Yeah. I look at them in there.
So many of them are either miserable, like just straight miserable, even though by the outside they have a good life, or they're like... What's the right word? Like, like they're like dead inside, right? There's just no like, they're just kind of like go through the motions. You know, they, they bitch about their kids. They bitch about their wife. They bitch about their job.
They bitch about their taxes. And I'm like, dude, those are, those are not real problems. Like your wife is actually okay. Your kids are fine. Like, you know, I don't know. They pick up the garbage. Your tax are going somewhere. I mean, I don't love tax like anybody, but like, you know, your garbage gets picked up. Your roads are clean. The fire.
yeah department shows up you know like i don't want them to grow up to be those people like i want you know so like in how do we start to cultivate now you've seen the outside world you're in america you've written this love story to america which i want to get to like if if i'm coming up to you and asking for advice like how do you start to how does someone like that how does a parent do that how do we start to indoctrinate them to this idea of suffering being a good thing
First of all, thank you for asking that question because I am very, very passionate about parenting. I come from three generations of broken homes, you know, and I had to really, really recalibrate my life, my character, my everything to learn how to be a good husband and a good parent, right? So this is quite literally the top of my priorities.
Like it's not business, it's not money, it's not career, it's not even impact. It's my wife is radiant with joy. My kids are functional in winning. You know, that's basically it, right? So I really do care about this tremendously. You know, and the thing is, it's fascinating. And I would love to get to even the skip 40 years and that kid is a high performer CEO.
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