The "status trap," an invisible prison of societal expectations that diverts people from their true paths. Today, Ryan Hanley shares the core message of his TEDx talk titled "Stop Living a Life You Didn't Choose" and how breaking free of this cycle brought him into a life full of passion and purpose. He introduces three principles to overcome the status trap: viewing fear as a prompt for action, granting oneself permission to deviate from others' expectations, and understanding that focus dictates personal growth. Ryan emphasizes that while gaining status isn't inherently bad, it's vital to ensure it doesn't compromise personal integrity or harm key aspects of one's life. Takeaways: • Recognize and escape the 'status trap' that holds you back • Embrace your unique path • Cultivate focus on your craft and aspirations Sound Bites: • "We make so many bad decisions when we're operating from a position of status." • "Every day, millions of people wake up, go to jobs they hate, pursue goals they didn't choose, all because they're caught in what I call the status trap, the invisible prison of social expectations." • "Prioritizing status is the path of comfort. Just do what everyone does and expects of the type of person you'd like to become. Chapters: 00:00 - Introduction 00:38 - The Process of Writing Ryan’s Tedx Talk 03:39 - Avoiding the Status Trap 07:51 - Breaking Free from the Status Trap 13:14 - Status Quo vs. Authenticity Dilemma 15:48 - "Unreasonable Success at 12" 18:27 - "Lessons for Empowerment and Independence" 23:00 - Recognizing and Managing Status Impact 24:17 - Engagement and Appreciation Message 📌 𝗙𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗪 𝗠𝗘 𝗢𝗡: Website: https://go.ryanhanley.com/ Course Page: https://masteroftheclose.com/ Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ryan-hanley-show/id1480262657 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5AZFuTiQsgS9hMQDDdtlOr?si=98432b7806534486 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryan_hanley
Chapter 1: What is the status trap?
It is often because I fell into what I call the status trap. The invisible prison of societal expectations, right? Those things that we feel we are supposed to do because of this label that we might wear at any given particular time, right? So people like me or people like this do things like this, and therefore I need to do all those same things as well.
We make so many bad decisions when we're operating from a position of status. And I've had several experiences in my career where I just look back and it doesn't even seem like the same person who made those decisions today. And in examining why I made them, it was because I was trying to be something instead of just allowing –
who I actually am and the way that I operate to come through and to follow that unique path, if that makes sense. It'll make more sense when I do the table read. But I wanted to put this in front of you, not only because I'm very proud of the work that I did, and I spent over six months putting this talk together and, you know, working out the performance and all that kind of stuff.
Chapter 2: How can I avoid the status trap?
This is something we can avoid, right? It's not an intangible. It's not a, if this happens, break glass kind of thing. This is something that if we're intentional and thoughtful, if we haven't had major downsides from attaching too much value to status or the corresponding ideas, then we can still avoid it. And if we find ourselves in this place, there is a real path out.
And as leaders, as creators, if you're ambitious, if you want to become an influencer or an entrepreneur or an executive or really anyone that starts to hold positions of status or desires positions of status, right? The status trap is absolutely something we can get caught in and it can derail our progress. And I don't want that to happen to you.
I'm going to just kind of table read style work through this script. How I built this, right? I didn't just build an outline. I actually scripted every single word first in its entirety. And then I went back through. And just to kind of work through what my process was, right, for this talk. So scripted every single word in its entirety. Did some table reads. Got a feel for that.
Deleted some parts. I made adjustments and kind of went back and forth on this full script editing. And then once I got the full script to where I was in a time frame that I had some buffer. So TEDx talks, if you're unfamiliar. have a max limit of 18 minutes. They really want you to come in 17 or under some of the most successful Ted talks have been in that 15 to 16 minute range, right?
You don't want to, It is not a platform for more context than is necessary, if that makes sense, which, as you guys know, as listeners to the show, is difficult for me. So this took a lot of work and refining. It was one of the most challenging speaking performances that I've ever had to prepare for.
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Chapter 3: What are the key moments in Ryan's career?
Most of that is pressure that I put on myself because I wanted to do well or at least be proud of my performance, which... I was, uh, but you know, this process was very different than how I normally would build out a talk. I would normally build out a talk in slides actually.
And, uh, and then use the slides as a template and an outline to, to ultimately get all my stories and talking points and stuff together. In this case, I scripted every word. I edited it down to be like exactly what I wanted to say. And then from there I broke it into an outline and, And then from there, I actually built a few slides off of the talk.
So I'm not going to necessarily do all the slides. I think that's extraneous, and I don't think it's necessary. But I wanted to read this for you guys, put it in front of you, and I would love your feedback.
If you're listening, watching on YouTube, or even if you're on Spotify and Apple, I would love for you to come over to the YouTube video and leave your comments, leave your thoughts, leave your questions. I really want to know what you think of this particular idea. It is so incredibly powerful and so insidious if we are unaware that our mindset has been captured by this idea of status.
I want to make sure that if you're part of this community and you listen to this show, and this is something I think I can help you with. So hopefully what you're about to hear is valuable to you. I hope you enjoy it. If you do love and you're not already, please subscribe to the show, share with friends. That's how we grow the community. That's how we grow the audience of this show.
And as always, I just appreciate you and love you for taking time out of your day and choosing to be here with me. I know you have so many options and I'm not going to belabor it anymore, but but it is just so incredibly meaningful that you spend this time here. Thank you.
And like I said, all questions, all comments, all thoughts, if you can come over to the YouTube video, leave them there, and I will respond to every single one of them. So, all right. With that, I'm going to get on to my TEDx talk. Table read. Now, like I said, the version that comes out in TEDx, in the text, will be different.
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Chapter 4: How does societal expectation affect personal choices?
What I ultimately ended up doing was in the 11th hour was cutting a few sections and expanding in a few other places. So it is a little different version. But I wanted to read to you kind of the fully scripted version that I put together that ultimately was the template that I went to stage with. So, all right. Okay.
in a crude laboratory in the basement of his home.
The title of my talk was Stop Living a Life You Didn't Choose. He said, I thought you figured it out by now. We didn't hire you for your opinion. I sat there paralyzed, the CEO's crippling words hung in the air. That was the moment I realized I wasn't living my own life. I was 38 years old, and I had lost the way. This was the job I was supposed to have. I had checked all the boxes.
On my career ladder, this is exactly where I was supposed to be. My dream job, and that dream had just become a nightmare. As his comments sank in, it felt like I was falling, as if I had been holding on to a ledge high atop a mountain of success, and my fingers had just gotten over the top when someone decided to walk by and step on my fingers.
Chapter 5: What are the three principles for breaking free from the status trap?
Chapter 6: How can focusing on authenticity lead to success?
I want to make sure that if you're part of this community and you listen to this show, and this is something I think I can help you with. So hopefully what you're about to hear is valuable to you. I hope you enjoy it. If you do love and you're not already, please subscribe to the show, share with friends. That's how we grow the community. That's how we grow the audience of this show.
And as always, I just appreciate you and love you for taking time out of your day and choosing to be here with me. I know you have so many options and I'm not going to belabor it anymore, but but it is just so incredibly meaningful that you spend this time here. Thank you.
And like I said, all questions, all comments, all thoughts, if you can come over to the YouTube video, leave them there, and I will respond to every single one of them. So, all right. With that, I'm going to get on to my TEDx talk. Table read. Now, like I said, the version that comes out in TEDx, in the text, will be different.
What I ultimately ended up doing was in the 11th hour was cutting a few sections and expanding in a few other places. So it is a little different version. But I wanted to read to you kind of the fully scripted version that I put together that ultimately was the template that I went to stage with. So, all right. Okay.
in a crude laboratory in the basement of his home.
The title of my talk was Stop Living a Life You Didn't Choose. He said, I thought you figured it out by now. We didn't hire you for your opinion. I sat there paralyzed, the CEO's crippling words hung in the air. That was the moment I realized I wasn't living my own life. I was 38 years old, and I had lost the way. This was the job I was supposed to have. I had checked all the boxes.
On my career ladder, this is exactly where I was supposed to be. My dream job, and that dream had just become a nightmare. As his comments sank in, it felt like I was falling, as if I had been holding on to a ledge high atop a mountain of success, and my fingers had just gotten over the top when someone decided to walk by and step on my fingers.
At that moment, I experienced just about every negative emotion a person can feel about themselves. Pain, shame, doubt, insecurity, anger, fear. How did I lose the way? My story isn't unique. Every day, millions of people wake up, go to jobs they hate, pursue goals they didn't choose, all because they're caught in what I call the status trap, the invisible prison of social expectations.
This would become a defining moment in my life, and it's the reason I'm here today. See, it's astounding how many people want to live spectacular lives, but prioritize fitting in, getting along, being normal, being accepted. Raise your hand. And for you guys listening and watching, put the word status in the comments.
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