Frank Alvarez
Appearances
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
welcome back to the basement welcome back to the basement yard frank why don't you go ahead repeat what you just said i said i said i tried bringing my beard to a point why do you think you're scar from the lion king that would be fire honestly now i have to do it all the time yeah he is such we that's so weird you bring that up it's the scar it i mean his name wasn't originally scar What?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
So if I don't yell my insults at you, it's not mean? I mean, it's better. It's a step forward for sure. You're a white devil.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Listen, I know there's jokes about Limp Bizkit and their audience and kind of who they were at that time of their popularity. But listen to that song and tell me it doesn't fucking smoke your shit. You know what I'm saying? Move in or move out. Hands up or hands down. Back up. Back up. Because there's a dance to it, which I remember from the video. Dude, you got to see. I forgot.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I think it was a wedding that this song came on. Why was it not at a wedding?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
This kid's throwing his body around. And then he's like, back up, back up. And he's pushing people out of the way. And I'm like, yo, we need to get out of here before Frankie flips out. Well, the spirit of Fred Durst. When inside of me... You're the biscuit. I am the limpest biscuit you can find, dude. Dude, he's the limpest biscuit. I am a limp biscuit. Yeah, you are. Bizkit, by the way.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah, not biscuit. Not biscuit. Bizkit. Although I would love a biscuit. Ooh, a very limp one, meaning a very buttery. Soft. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But... When that song comes on, you need to move in and move out. Your hands up and hands down. And then back up. You need to fucking make some space. Make some space. And then roll and roll and roll and roll. There's only one way to go.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
To this day, I am not even kidding when I say this. One of the greatest pieces of produced media I've ever seen is the WrestleMania 17 promo package between The Rock and Stone Cold. Over the Song My Way by Limp Bizkit. I'm going to do things my way. Yeah, that's exceptional. Check out my melody. You don't remember that part? I thought you were speaking a different language.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Stone Cold and The Rock are talking, and Stone Cold's like, it's my title. You ain't having it. And The Rock is like, I will do anything. And then finally they start punching, and it's just like, this time I'm going to let it all come out. And then with the beat, they're hitting stunners and rock puns. I'm so excited. He loves Limp Bizkit. Dude, do me a favor. Jokes aside.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Everyone here, go fucking watch that. I know what you're talking about. And it is so good. And it's like five minutes long.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yes. You'd watch it at my house before school with the TLC man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude. You know?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
All those wrestling pay-per-views, like the songs that were associated with them, were unbelievable.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Oh, you have one on your face. No, I don't. Where is it? You have one right here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Frankie gave me this fucking wrapping paper that has dust all over it. My beautiful wife. She likes pixie dust. She knows. She knows, like, I hate glitter. So after she, and I asked, I was like, did you wrap my gifts in this? She's like, yeah. And I was like, thank you. Big mistake, though.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And it still holds up. Yeah, I was like, what am I doing? And it still holds up. Now it's all on Peacock. Did he cane throw someone through a glass thing? Yeah, there was the triple threat for the hardcore title between- It went backstage? Cane, Big Show, and Raven. Yes! Yep. That's great. There was the gimmick battle royal that was won by the Iron Sheik. I don't remember that.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
TLC. Then you had Chyna versus Ivory for the women's title. Chyna versus Ivory. You had The Undertaker and Triple H in a match. Oh, man. No, I know. It's crazy. Then you had Stone Cold and The Rock. We had Stone Cold and The Rock. But then you also had Vince versus Shane McMahon. Do you remember the whole storyline? He kicked him in the face?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Well, he did the coast-to-coast, but then the whole storyline where fucking Linda McMahon was like, A vegetable, basically. And, like, Vince was making out and, like, sucking on Trish Stratus' titties in front of her and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she stood up and kicked him in the nuts and the place went apeshit. I remember that. Do you know what I'm saying? What a pay-per-view.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
What a time to be alive. Did you think there was going to be five minutes of WrestleMania 17 on this episode? I bet you didn't. And whatever this is going to add to the Limp Bizkit talk, the song is about an old girlfriend of Fred Durst's who betrayed him. We've all been there. Classic story. Hey, Mr. Durst. We've all been there. We've all been betrayed. Okay?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
One day you think you're doing it all for the nookie, and then you get betrayed. And then suddenly it's all for the cookie. And shove it up your ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you still close to the Durst family? Or that was just Robert Durst? When... The serial killer? Yeah, yeah. When Durst was getting his career started in Los Angeles, he was sending money home to his girlfriend to pay the bills.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Instead, she used the money to treat her and another man to drugs in hotel rooms. That sounds crazy. In this song, Durst explains that he knew what was going on, but stayed with her for the sex. That's the nookie. He's like, I did it for the nookie. Wow. I mean, can I say this? No, he didn't. No one would make that decision. I mean, kind of. He was writing from a place of pain and anguish.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
But Mr. Biscuit. Betrayal. You could find another woman in that Los Angeles. I'm sure he had access to other nookies. I don't mean to use that as a terminology to just completely dehumanize women to just being a nookie. A nookie. You did. No, no. Mr. Durst did. Okay? We're reporting. Frederick Durst. You know he's like a movie director now? Is he? Yeah. He's got the whole white beard look.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
It looks cool. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, man. Maybe it's time to throw on some Creed, Limp Bizkit, Puddle of Mud. Just throw them on. Who are you? Just who are you? Let the body sit the floor. Let the body sit the floor. Let the body sit the... Dude, it still fucking hits. Yeah, you love that. Yeah. I didn't hate that song either, but... You shouldn't. Yeah. You know what?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
How much can we talk about Limp Bizkit in this episode? Do you think we could stretch it for the whole time? There's also the song Break Stuff. That song is a legitimate fear of mine to hear in a crowded area.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I, I used to like appreciate that song, but then someone said to me, I forgot who it was, but they were like, that's the type of song you would have heard played at January 6th. And I'm just like, damn, like now, now you can't hear it. Which song is I'll take a chainsaw and skin your ass raw. What? That's what he says. I'll take a chainsaw and skin your ass raw. Oh, that's bright stuff.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Me and Frank exchanged Christmas gifts in the parking lot. Yeah, like a drug deal. It was like, all right, put this in your trunk. Put it in my trunk. It's so weird. Why do we do that? Becca, we made and we got and made like a cute little thing for you and also for Greg and Brittany. And I pick it up and it falls out the bottom and just falls onto the ground. Porcelain chipped it hard.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Do you know how expertly you need to maneuver a chainsaw to just skin someone slightly?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
But that's not going to skin them. That's going to lacerate them. Right, lacerate. Yeah. It's like a chef.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You know what's scary is that I know you're not by yourself, but you should be in a padded room behind a very, very securely locked door. You don't think it's cool for a doctor to just open that? Don't. Don't do it there, dude. Oh, yeah. Ew. Yeah, no, that's not what I meant.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Go here. Go top. Okay, top. Top. Well, I don't know what they would be fixing. To be fair, I don't know what they'd be fixing. Yeah, what the fuck? Well, whatever. Or like Tommy John, like here. Sure. Go on the elbow. Sure. Go on the elbow.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
It is crazy that we have gone to a place in science and the medical world that like we can do that and just like, yeah, I'm confident. Okay, this is going to be, but I need you to be honest, right? Yes. And I know that you're you, so you probably will be on my side. I don't know what side I'm on yet. Just ask the fucking question. Do you think, and now just hold on.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Are you crazy? No, no, hear me out, hear me out. Are you absolutely out of your mind?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
A lot, Joey. How many? There's a lot. Do you know? Can you give a roundabout? I have no idea. How many organs in our body? Guess. How many organs do we have? Organs, organs, organs, organs, organs. I would say like 88. 88. Oh, dude, I was way below that. Yeah? Yeah, I was gonna say, like... Because there's, like, little ones that you don't know about. Like, the pituitary gland is an organ.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
they're 78 damn if you would have said 78 i would just you would have thought well you would have thought that i was that i had known and i wasn't telling you oh you would have in my mind been cheating yes uh but yeah yeah 78 let me let me thought very very very clearly and concisely yeah yes i believe surgery is difficult i'm not saying it isn't i'm just considering the possibility that maybe
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
But it's just a chip. Chip. Chip. Chip. And it's underneath. Yeah, who cares? Color it in. Honestly, bitch, color it in. It adds some, like, flavor. I don't know if coloring it in is a good idea because then if they use it to bake, then, like, the fumes of whatever you're coloring. Is that a baking dish? Yeah, they're baking safe. Ceramic, babe. Yeah, I didn't know that. Well, I gave you.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
It might be easier than we think. No. I mean, I'm sure if you go to fucking a dozen years of school in order to do a very specific surgery. Like, there are obviously certain surgeries that are easier than others. Like, you don't think that you could funnel the camera into a butt for a colonoscopy? Like, how hard is that?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I mean, if I was the butt funneler, I would just need someone to make sure I'm not, like, fucking anything up. Like, make sure I'm going the right way and shit like that, you know? No, no, I thought that's... What? If I'm doing the surgery, I should make sure, no, I'm not fucking anybody. Oh, no! Yeah, no. No, no, no, no.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I think if anything... I'm trying to put down... I don't... I think if anything, this is me... I have such a, like...
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
a have such a respect for doctors and I think that it's probably so difficult that now I'm like maybe I'm making it way more difficult than it actually is I think it's probably more difficult because of the level of understanding that you have right but I'm thinking about like open up a body right And I'm looking at intestines. But what kind of surgery? That's a thing. Stomach, stomach.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Because brain surgery, can you imagine that shit? Brain surgery, that's very difficult. That's crazy, dude. That's a good one. That's hard. Brain surgery is tough. Write that down. We cracked it. We cracked the code. Hey, but doctors, we're on your side. We know that it's hard. We're standing up for you. If you're not a brain surgeon, you know. Yeah, someone that's like a foot surgeon. All right.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Dentists. They're technically surgeons. They are doctors. Yeah. And they are surgeons. Feeling a cavity, though. That's not surgery, babe. That's just you're just playing. You're playing around. Yeah. You're in there and you got like a- You're shaving ice. You're shaving ice. That's exactly what you're doing. You're drilling into holes just aimlessly. Yeah, you're Bruce Willis.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I know that we're wrong, but I refuse to believe that it's anything other than- Dentistry is- Yeah, there's nerves and shit like that. It's tough only because the mouth only opens up so much. Yeah, and also, there's only so— Big mouths. Honestly, honestly, finite area. The mouth. Yeah. Like, this is what dentists are concerned about right here. Crazy. Because you've got to include the gums. Right.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And you've got to include not even the tongue. Dentists don't care about the tongue, do they?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I'm sure they gotta learn about it I'm sure they've read about it But Such a finite area You know If you tell me that there's a You know A pin Hidden somewhere in this room I'll find it Because it's not that big of a room Same thing with dentists I just think it's hard to get in there Especially Some people have tiny mouths Some people do have tiny mouths But that's when you put that Like mouth jacker in there And then you What's going on with you?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You can bake in that shit. Yeah, but what would I bake in it? Oh, bread, maybe. I mean, I'm not baking bread, dude. What am I, Betty Crocker? I mean, it's 2025. You have the opportunity. The opportunities are endless. You can do anything you want. You can pick up a new hobby tomorrow, and knowing you, be very good at it within 10 years.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
The mouth jacker Yep What's that? It like opens the mouth And keeps it open I don't know what it's called I don't think I've ever had that You've never had your mouth jacked? I've never been jacked in the mouth, no You got mouth jacked by your dentist? You got jacked. Say you got jacked. That's why you don't exist. You got jacked? He jacked your mouth? No, take it easy.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You got jacked in your mouth by your dentist. Real close to where it could be questionable territory. That's crazy. I think there's been equipment placed by a doctor in my mouth. Yeah, dude. But they're not full on jacking my shit. I mean, neither. You brought the jack. I didn't even know it was a jack. I'm just saying, like, I know it exists. There are mouth jacks out there. So funny. Oh, my God.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I'm just saying. The other day. Or this one. Did you ever get the plastic? That's kind of a jack. No, because it's not really, like, in my mouth. I don't know why that exists. Like, what's that for? Just see the teeth. I had one of those recently. I got my teeth whitened. And they jacked you. Well, they didn't jack me. They got jacked. No. We got them. No. Okay. Oh, they do the thing.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
They do the thing. Yeah, the thing with the what do you say thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. Yeah. Did they do the light? Yeah, I didn't like it very much. What is that? UV? Yeah. And it just, what, it makes it... So you put like a... Like a paste.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
It's like a paste on your teeth, but she was explaining that it's like a hydrochloric or like something that like reacts with the light and it just like burns away like a layer or two of enamel. Oh. Is that good? Becca, my teeth, like right at the end, I got like a fucking sting. Oh, yeah. It didn't feel good.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah. And I was like, oh, sorry. Yeah. And I was like, dude, you just set my face on fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because right before he jacked it. Frank, you're not getting out of this. You're not beating the jacking allegation. Someone jacked it into your mouth. Frank— First of all, now you're getting way too graphic. Second of all, no one was talking about jacking mouths until you showed up.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Because there are mouth jackers, Joey. There are. That's like mouth jacks. You seem very aware of the jack mouthers. Because I have eyes that have seen past my own human experiences, Joey. Maybe that's something you should understand.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
yeah no but like dude maybe this is the year of joey bread bowl boy i don't joey the bread bread boy okay see see we're highlighting why not the weakness that you have this is the thing that coming up with name this is the this is the thing that big celebrities are doing now is they're getting into like food establishments bradley cooper just opened a philly cheesesteak place that bread looked exceptional the cheesesteak
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You're back on your phone. Yeah, sorry. I was... And then make sure it's 2025, folks. And maybe you're seeing this a little early and it's not, but it is to us. Patreon. Patreon.com. Thank you guys so much for the continued love and support that you give us on Patreon and all over. Even if you're unable to be a patron, we completely understand. But if you are a patron, thank you so much.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You guys, your support has gotten us the opportunity to do some really, really cool stuff. And we're making some strides.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
in a completely bigger and grander direction in order to give you guys more of what you love which is us so in the time being go to patreon.com slash the basement you sign up for that first year you get weekly episodes one week in advance and then that second tier well you get exclusive episodes every single friday where they're a little they're kind of just a little off the walls and off the rails uh we just did our uh if you're seeing this
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
live on YouTube. We did our Yardies, where it was like our yearly awards that we do. And if you're seeing this on Patreon, well, then it's going to be out this weekend. So go check it out. Thank you so much for all the love, all the support. We're really excited for 2025. We want to thank you guys so much for everything from 2024 and before that.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And let's keep on rocking and rolling and keep this party going. You know what I'm saying? I do know what you're saying.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
We got to keep the party going because who knows what's going to happen, you know, because the bird flu is back. Birds. When was it here originally? It was a pandemic. I remember swine flu. That started in my high school. Bird flu. Yeah, that's right. It started in your high school. I love telling people that. That is a very strange. A weird flex, right? Isn't it?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah. We were the epicenter. That was the one that was transmitted by... Pigs. Yes, but in particular, it was transmitted from human to human when men of a certain older age would kiss people on the butt.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Like, kissed the pastors. No. No. They'd spin the bottle.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
That looked okay. It did. It didn't look that great. I was like, this could use more cheese. Yeah. Less steak, more cheese. Yeah, there's a lot of steak. But... This could be the year of Joey getting into the venture of restaurants. Of breads? Restaurateur.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I used to be great at it. Yeah, that is true. Well, that, that actually, that makes sense. Cause everyone in high school said that you were never good at swallowing. Uh, I, I used to be like that too. Um, but then I grew up, you grew up and then your dentist jacked your mouth. Uh, No, but seriously, apparently California, like the governor, like issued a state of emergency over.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
What does that mean, by the way? Everyone. Like what is a state of emergency? I'm sure there's like. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. There are actual things that accompany that. Of course. You can't just say. You can't just say it. There's an emergency. We know. Yeah, but there's, I'm sure, certain protocols that if you declare a state of emergency, you have the autonomy.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You give up power to certain agencies to do some stuff. Oh. That was the big conspiracy. which is a big word nowadays behind like COVID is that people believed it was just a way to transfer power to the CDC. So the CDC can just like do whatever they want.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And the CDC is, you know, funded by the lizard people and the lizard people are sucking the butts of, you know, like it's, if it is true, then the lizards won. And like, what are we going to do? Yeah. You want to fight a lizard person? I had lizards when I was younger. They're gross. I did too. My cat ate them. I watched them. Your cat ate lizards?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
No, I think I've told you this before. Yeah, our neighbor had two iguanas. Gave it to us. Wait, ate an iguana? Two of them, yeah. Frank, an iguana. They weren't that big yet. They were little iguanas. Oh. Iguanis. Right. You know, they were... Iguaninos. Yeah, because they're one of those animals that, like, they'll adapt to their habitat. So if they're in a bigger environment, they'll get bigger.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Right. But they were both, like, this big. And my cat, we kept him in like that back computer room. You remember that room downstairs? Yeah. We kept him down there. We always made sure we closed the door before going in. You kept your iguanas in a back room in a basement? Yep. Yeah. Thank God they're dead. Well, they had a heat lamp. They had food. Like, they were great. They were hanging out.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Joey the bread boy. Where it's a restaurant, it's just bread? Ooh, bakery. I'll tell you what. Every day, every dish. Those are called bakeries, Joe. Every dish has bread infused in some capacity. How about this? No plates, only bread bowls. I don't give a fuck what we serve. Listen, yes. Cider fries? Bread bowl. It would be a little expensive, though, to have that many bread bowls.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
But... My cat would just sit there at the door, patient. He's like, I'm going to eat a lizard. She was fucking ready.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And one day I was woken up at like 3 a.m. by my mom screaming. And I went upstairs and she goes, look over there. And it was my cat with one of the tails hanging out of her mouth.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
So cats have a thing that they do, and I think dogs do this too. When they do something like that, like they'll kill an animal or something, they'll present it to you. Oh, yeah, yeah. For you. Oh, so your cat ate an iguana, then put the other one in its mouth, and was like, check this out. And brought it to my mom, yeah. Disgusting. Yeah. No wonder that cat got mouth cancer.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
yeah that could have been it could have been it it was either the cigarettes or the iguanas i could confirm one of those were in her mouth yeah but can you eat iguanas i wouldn't why not maybe if you boiled it have you eaten i've eaten snake and crocodile have you if this is a jerky thing this doesn't count i've eaten crocodile With jerky? No.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Snake with jerky and kangaroo with jerky and crocodile with jerky. Yeah, I've had all the jerkies in the world too. I'm not going to be like, oh, I had kangaroo. No, no, no. But when we were in Key West, I had conch. You had an alligator? I had conch and I had gator. I remember conch. Yeah, I had conch and gator. How was the conch? Chewy. Chewy. And the gator was fine. What is conch?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Is that like a sea dwelling? It's the shell phone. You mean a shell? Not the shell, but like what's in it. All those shells have like animals in them, dude. Yeah, yeah. Oh, was this you I was having this conversation with? I think so. About shells? Yeah, what the hell are shells? Yeah, and you're like, they're just houses. They're houses for animals.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
It is true. I got big shells. What did I say? Where did that come from? What do you mean you got big shells? Remember my mom's house out on the deck? They had those two big white shells.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I'll be honest with you. I think I was like later than that. I might have been like 24 when I figured that out.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Well, not even just sound bouncing around the shell, but it's the sound of your blood in your head. What? You've never been like... Frankie, let me tell you something right now.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
No, I think... I mean, I'm sure it is a collection of sounds, but you can hear the blood in your body if it's quiet enough. You think I'm crazy? Yes! You can hear the blood in your body? What are you, a bat? Uh, no, Joey. Can you hear your own blood rushing? While most people don't normally hear their blood rushing, a condition called pulsatile tinnitus... Uh-oh.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
We're finding something out about Frankie, maybe. No, you just thought that that's what it was. It can cause individuals to perceive a whooshing or thumping sound in their ears that aligns with their heartbeat, essentially allowing them to hear their blood flowing, but it is not. But, Frank, this is not what we're looking up.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
What we're looking up is when you lift a shell to your ear, you think, oh, it's not just sounds. It's your own blood that you're hearing. But it's a collection of other stuff too. You know what you do when you're younger? You have an idea where you're like, this must be that. And then something as stupid as holding a show, you haven't thought about that in so long.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
uh no no but like for the person to like consume it like the idea of getting a whole loaf of bread is crazy and you'd be in you'd be going up against panera and you and panera that's a fight you don't know if you'll win yeah no i mean i i've definitely lost before i had it one time i've only had panera one time diarrhea didn't go back swear to god i thought i was like can i ask you a
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
So what was true to you when you were probably 12 is now what you're going with. Like it's blood that I'm, I'm hearing my own blood in a shell. You know what? Then I'm going to revert back to hearing that it is the ocean because of it. That'd be nice. That would be, let me live. Like we brought it up last time. Shutter Island, babe. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Let me think I'm a cop playing dress up and shoot, shoot, pew, pew. You know what I'm saying? I agree. Like, let me believe it's my, my, the, the, what I hear is the blood rushing within my head. You know, one time I thought I heard a whale in a shell. Yeah. No, I do. I do believe that. I'm just like, yo. Like, I'm thinking it's connected.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Well, that's what the magic is, dude, is that the ocean is always with us. How much greater was life when you believed in magic stuff like that?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I believe that. I have to say this. Why can't we just believe the things that we believed as kids into our adulthood? Why do we have to know stuff? Why do we need to grow up? People need to beat it into us. You need to know the truth. No, I fucking don't. Why do we need to know anything? We don't need to know a damn thing. We need to know some things. But maybe we could know way less.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
There's actually a movie that just came out a couple weeks ago that it's like the origin of Scar and Mufasa. Mufasa was adopted by Scar's family, but his name isn't Scar. It's something else. And then he just called him Scar, like a slur. Fucking Mufasa. Oh, so then it stuck? I guess so. He was like, oh, you got a scar. Scar. Bitch. Nerd. Yeah, basically.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Do I really need to know where conch shells come from? No. Do I really need to know that it's not an actual horn that I'm blowing when I put my mouth to it? Did I tell you about my dad with the horn? No. My dad. I shot a vlog years ago, mad long ago.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I said, Dad, it's a baby crying. I looked at the baby in its face. Why did your dad think this? He was just a conspiracy rabbit. Oh, my God. An ancient? Dude, can you imagine how excited I was to hear that my dad thought an ancient horn made it into my fucking YouTube vlog? I was like, it's a baby. Do you hear that? He's like, you hear that?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
That's the horn that's signaling the fogs of Fimblewinter. Basically. And then I love that as soon as I was like, oh, it's this. I have all the information. I saw the baby.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
No. I can't keep up with it. No, it's not. I can't. I don't know. When this comes out, I don't know if they're still around, if we have an answer yet to what those drones in New Jersey are. But I can't anymore. I cannot. The new one is that they're plasma balls and plasmoids that they're chasing. I can't. I can't. Balls. I can't. They're balls. The drones are just looking for fucking balls.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I'll show you some balls. Hey. Hey. Hey. We have more ads, by the way. Do we? We do have Squarespace.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Food establishments have given you diarrhea. I don't even know how to answer that. This was over 10 years ago.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
It doesn't matter. I used to crush Panera, and I will tomorrow if I wanted to, bitch. I don't know. Someone was asking me that, and I feel like this has gotten blown out of proportion.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I know, I know. But he probably has said that since this all went down. Luigi's such a funny name to me. I love it because the only Luigi people know is just like... Luigi. Luigi. Luigi. You know what I'm saying? Like Luigi Mario from the Mario Brothers. What's this guy's name? His name's like. Luigi Mangione. Mangione. It could not be. More Italian. More Italian. Yeah. You know. This guy has.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Like this is a pizza making. If you told me that was the name of that pizza. That plump pizza guy that's outside of every pizza place. Yes. You know that's holding. I'd be like yeah of course that's who that is. Luigi Mangione. I almost stole one of those from my house once. I didn't though. Because it was too heavy. You should have, honestly.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You, from what, age 8 until 28? What do you mean, my klepto phase? No, I didn't steal in my 20s. That was literally just a teenage thing. Try to think if I stole. I mean, I've watched you steal candy. When we were kids. That's a right of passage. That's a right of passage. Oh, yeah, no, that one, yeah, I was driving a car, so I was at least 18.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Do you remember the night? I don't know if you remember this, but it was our friend Danny's 19th birthday. We went out to a place in a story that's no longer there called Rapture. What the fuck?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Joey, I have gotten food poisoning zero times in my entire life. I'm pretty adventurous. With food? You didn't get it from a fucking cupboard under the stairs restaurant. You went to a jazz club and got a burger, Joey. Yeah. That's not adventure.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
It was on like, man, it was on like 30, it was like 28th Avenue and like 33rd Street or something like that. Wow. But we went. It was Halloween. We all, you know, everyone was like dressed up, drinking. Danny got really, really, really drunk. And me, you, one of our DDs, like whoever the DD was for the night, and another one of our friends who I will not name to not self-incriminate.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Not self-incriminate, not incriminate them. We drove around like Whitestone and stole all those lawn signs that were just like so-and-so for Senate and so-and-so for city council. And then we put them all in our friend's front yard. Yeah. Yeah, it was a good old time.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Damn. Yeah, I did see the aftermath. You fucked up. I know. That was a good night. But, yeah, this guy, Luigi Mangione, the only thing he's stealing right now is the hearts of some people. Some. I would say pretty much all. There's a couple people that are pretty.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Luigi. By the way, the way that I spelled Luigi over there. L-E-W-I-G-I? Okay. No. L-U-I-G-I-E. I mean, that's not that bad. It was right there. That's not that bad. I mean, it's not right. That's Luigi. That's multiple Luigi's. Or it's Luigi, but different. Mangione.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Oh, didn't you say, like, yo, why are all the police over there? When you drove here, remember? Didn't you say that to me? Yeah. That's where he was. When you were like, yo, why are they all by the docks? Really? Yeah, that's what he was on. You didn't see the picture? He was on the dock, like, walking in. And there was, like, what looked like a hundred police officers behind him.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah, which doesn't make any sense. Too much. It's also funny that, like, people are saying, you know, like, the NYPD is, like, taking all the credit for catching this guy when he didn't get caught by the NYPD.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah, well... No. I think it was Altoona, Pennsylvania. The police over there. Maybe they should get some praise, Joey. Give it to us normal folks for once. That's why they voted. They didn't vote for big business Dems this year, Joey. Get them, guys. Come in. He's right here. You love doing that. Doing what? You just pointed your expensive watch at me. What? What? No, I didn't. Shut the fuck up.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
charging him with like terrorism yeah i mean technically yeah demonetized uh yeah before when you talked about what i talk about cutting open humans was cool wasn't the demonetization yeah i mean i was dancing around i didn't say it so you know crazy like you said the algorithm would pick it up i was trying to like throw in some other words oh you were throwing it unaliving and you know yeah corn yeah corn lacerating yeah yeah yeah i feel yeah
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah. I mean, it is absolutely crazy. I will say, though, that's one of the hardest pictures I've seen in a while. It's a really cool where this guy. And did you hear who is his prison mate? He's in the same prison right now in Brooklyn. Oh, yeah. With Diddy.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
shit i didn't know that dude someone i can't take credit for it someone quote tweeted that like part of the article i'm just like they really are making this fucking arkham asylum like just like all of new york's worst i think it was the same one that like i think uh what's his name not harvey uh your boy epi i don't like those i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry who's epi epstein oh He was there?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I think he was. I don't even know where this is. Maybe not. But nonetheless, it's becoming like Arkham Asylum, created by Amadeus Arkham, obviously, and then the Raft, which is basically the Marvel equivalent, which is the super... Well, no, the Raft. Yeah, so the Raft is like the super-powered prison. Too much. Too much. Yeah. Come on. The Raft is the prison on water.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
But you're going to well-regarded restaurants that— People make mistakes. People do make mistakes, but they don't make mistakes at that level. Clearly.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Name five Batman villains that would be in Arkham Asylum.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You immediately lost. He wouldn't? Penguin actually in the comics historically doesn't go to Arkham because he's not insane. He's just a criminal. Yes, there you go. Come on. You're right there. Who? Oh, what's her name? Who's Margot Robbie?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Are you kidding me? Give me the first letter. No, it's too easy. Oh, something... What's her name? This is crazy. This is actually bad. Yeah. I do know who it is. All right, so go other ones then. Forget her. I cab to fixated now. Oh, okay. Now I can't leave this thing. You've committed. It's two words. Yeah. Fuck, what is that woman's name? She's riding a motorcycle. Riding a motorcycle.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I saw the pain, honestly. So that was two? Yeah, there you go. Then we have... And Harley Quinn, actually, Harleen Quinzel, who is the character, was a doctor at Arkham Asylum first. I'm not going to tell that. I wasn't even listening. Penguin. I fucking said Penguin! I know, you were wrong. Two-Face. Killer Croc. Mr. Freeze. Who's Killer Croc? Killer Croc. Waylon Jones?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You don't know Killer Croc? He looks like a big... You thought giving me his government name was going to help me? Is this a crocodile man? He has a skin condition and... Oh, that's mean. Yeah, and he was like part of... It is actually pretty mean, like the actual story of it, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
He became, like, a full-on villain, you know, and then, you know... Killed a bunch? There's a ton of people you could put in there.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah. Well, Gotham is the city. Arkham is the place. Like, the mental institution. Oh. The asylum.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Maybe that's what it was. Maybe it was E. coli. I think it was E. coli. So you got coli'd. I got coli'd in my E. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. But yeah, I think. Hear me out. You know I'm in the business of really having great ideas lately. I don't know that, but go ahead. You, just you, Greg, when Greg hears this, he's going to be fully on board. Just get into being a restaurateur.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
There's always just some crazy... Yeah, there's always like... It's like tomorrow there's a clown putting gas in your makeup. And it's like we've just... Just get out, guys. The whole city is held hostage. Bro, as soon as this is over, move. Well, a lot of people don't have that opportunity, but after the sixth attack by a supervillain... I'm moving. Yeah. Get out. I'm sorry. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
No, I'm with you there. But the prison is currently holding Luigi and Diddy. Damn. That's crazy. That is wild. You know? And if any of the potential allegations and rumors about Diddy are true, they might be having a good old time in there. Frank, they're not going to be able to see each other. You think they're in solitary confinement? Yeah. Not in some, like, gen pop? No.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
They're not going to let them pop. You don't think so? No way. I will say... You should pay for a photo op like that one that he got.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
What a year for pictures. I mean, there's two. Can you name good pictures from any other year?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
That's what I'm saying. And this isn't a joke. One of the last pictures I really remember was 23 years ago.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
frankie i'm it's not a joke like that's the like i can't think of any like famous pictures after that something with obama he was all video no he was the poster the poster but it's not a picture it said hope oh maybe some sports stuff there were some sport pictures i'm sure there were there were pictures but do you think luigi's photo is better than trump's photo
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Man, I gotta admit, both of them are pretty sick. The Luigi photo is a banger, though. The Luigi one is sick because it's more contrast. Like, that's what you would see as, like, the cover of, like, a really good hip-hop album. You know what I'm saying? Like, a really good debut album. And then there's just, like, you know, it's like, oh, shit. And he's got, like, all the people behind him.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Eric Adams is back there trying to get whatever goodwill he can out of this whole situation. Yeah, it ain't gonna work. It ain't gonna happen. But then the Trump one was pretty sick because he was bleeding. I wish he was bleeding more. Joey. There goes that third monetization strike. No, but I mean like it would look cooler if it was like really gone. If we're talking like Ric Flair.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Speaking of Trump, did you see his new haircut? Yeah. It's somehow worse than his previous haircut. Someone said that he looked like Mac's mom from It's Always Sunny.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
He does. He does look like her. He's got like, he's got the mullet. He's got like, it's like here. Like it's, Oh, well there goes the Illuminati reference. Oh yeah. Oh, it's like here. It's like doing everything. I don't even know how to do it. What are you doing? Why do the Illuminati have triangles? Come on. Give us back triangles, guys. Fuck. By the way, have you looked at a dollar bill?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
The triangle and the eye are on it. Yeah. That's where it all – like everyone is – it's on every dollar. Yeah. I think, right? Yeah. Do you remember the – I do.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You don't remember that? Tits of Erica? Yeah. Who's that? There was like, if you fold the back of a $20 bill, instead of saying United States of America, it'll say Tits of Erica. And then the one where it's like, oh, look, if you fold it this way, this isn't a joke. If you fold it this way, it looks like where the towers got hit.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I've done that. And then you've seen Batman and the Batmobile on a five. What? Yeah, there's a bunch of those weird ones. I know the Land O'Lakes butter, you fold it so it looks like her boobs are out. On what? The butter package? Land O'Lakes. Yeah, when they had the... Native American. Which one? I don't know if that's bad. Wow. Is that bad? Hold on.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Joey's getting canceled for saying Native American. Indigenous? Buy Land O' Lakes. Buy Land O' Lakes butter. The one with the biggest knockers. The fattest titted butter you could find. She's on her knees and like presenting the title of Land O' Lakes. I think they took her off. I hope. But then you fold it and it looks like her boobs. I don't remember that. You don't remember that?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You have the hot sauces. Right. One of them has already been released, but one of them, I don't know when the release for that one is officially. Yeah, me neither. But you have your own line of hot sauces. You have a keen eye to become a sommelier. You're on your way, baby steps. You could be the hot sauce provider, sommelier, and bread boy for Joe's big bread boy business.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Actually, I might. I mean, chances are if it was around when we were kids, I did it. Yeah. And was pumped about it. Yeah. You know, I remember all those. I remember the one that I used to do was in, and it's weird that this is just right here for this, but like that I would put right on the board, the LAO club. And I would like ask teachers like, are you in the LAO club?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And they'd say like, what do you mean LAO club? You would do this to your teacher? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The LAO club? Yeah, the LAO club. What is it? And they'd be like, what? And I'd be like, are you in the LAO club? Oh, she's good. And they'd be like, no. And I'd be like, all right, well, the joke's ruined. But if you turn it upside down, it's like a person jerking off. Frankie.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You did that to your teachers? Yeah. Yeah. You were, and you show, and you. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't show them that. I would just, I would just leave, and they'd say no. It was like an inside joke with the boys. Like, the boys knew what it meant. Yeah, you wanted to know if your teacher was in the jerk-off club. Unbelievable stuff. I'm sorry. What did you do in school that was so cool?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Fucking 12 Hail Marys? Pray to your daily bread. That's not how the... Get fucking... Don't. Don't do that. We can't handle another demonetization. LAO Club. That's so stupid, but it's so funny. It's so stupid.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You'd be laughing hard, dude. It would be the funniest thing in the world. It would be so funny. Yeah. You know, that was back when teachers were allowed to teach and laugh. Do you remember now? That would be a fucking... You'd go home early that day. Go home early. I'd go home forever and then get home and go to the big home upstairs forever. Oh, man.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I was just going to say something and now I forgot. Fuck! Yeah. Too bad, bitch. There it goes. See you later. I will say that I, if, oh, sorry.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You're like, one of these answers means I'm fucking gay. So like, which one is it? Well, someone did that to me once when they were like, how do you look at your nails? And I was like, what do you mean? And I was just like, how they're like, how do you look at your fingernails? Like, look at your nails. And there's either this way or there's this way. And both were gay, gay.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I got called gay for both of them. Yeah. So what's the straight way to look at your nails? You don't.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah. Yeah. Joey was the type where someone would like send him a note that says, do you like me? Yes or no. And he would circle or.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
frank i did that a lot i know you did or you would probably do that too no no one ever sent me a note asking me if i like them okay it's true it is true i never no one's ever handed you a note i don't believe no they've handed me notes a hundred a hundred thousand times but like i wasn't easy brad pitt i wasn't notes no i'd get notes because i'd talk to people i'd talk i was a talker okay
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
But, like, no, like, and this is seriously true. Okay. And I say this to Becca, too. And you kind of know this. Like, there weren't girls that, like, had crushes on me and made it known. If they did, but, like, I had, like, a girl that I liked and someone liked me and then. Yeah. We were the most passionate, you know, boyfriend and girlfriend in sixth grade.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Not, especially in middle school. Especially. I don't think so, dude. I really, and I'm not, I'm not joking around. Like, I really don't think so. You heard his voice. I'm not. I'm not joking around. No. Stop now.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
i'm getting fucking like i'm a child now and how would you know you didn't know any of the people i went to middle school with bro what do you mean i would show up there i'm on aim i get the low down from you were you were on aim you went to a few parties you did that's right like three one of our favorite one of my favorite memories with you because it is the dumbest thing in the world oh god the dumbest dumbest dumbest thing in the world and i know you'll remember this
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Is it dumber than the LAO club? It's up there. You and I went to – there was a girl in my middle school that had a crush on me, and one of her friends had a crush on you, and we went to her birthday party at her house. We took the train there on like a Saturday evening at like 5 p.m. or something.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And as a birthday present, we got an empty shoebox, and we filled it with just like five slices of white bread, and we gave it to her. I remember this vividly. Because at the time, we would just say bread at random points in time, and we thought it was the funniest thing ever. Yeah. And we gave it to her, and she opened it, and we went, bread. And no one laughed, probably. We laughed. We probably.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I mean, the ideas are just unbelievable coming out of you over there. And I really appreciate the faith that you have in me, but that's not going to happen. I mean, why not? Because why? Restaurants are a really difficult avenue to get into in terms of making money.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And we made a living making each other laugh, so I think we're okay. I'll tell you who did not laugh. Not in a bright spot. I'll tell you who did not laugh. Her? Yep. Who was it? I remember. I'm not going to say the person's name. I don't know that if you know how questions work. What was her name? I know it. I'm not going to say the person's name. Is it like a... It's a very common name.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
So then, is it Muhammad? It is Muhammad. It was Muhammad. Yeah. The most common name. Yeah. Well, you know. I'm going to give you... Do you have any more clubs? Not that I can remember.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Oh. You know who it is now? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why you're hiding. There was a girl in my high school. Her name was Lana. And you're like, oh, your name is anal back. Way to go, Lana. Do you ever look at your name in the mirror and then realize it says anal? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stupid. Yeah. Whatever. Being a kid is fun. It is the most fun. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And we are really appreciative that we get to remember how much of being a kid we were.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
It's such a random thing to say. I'll be honest, I don't even know how I formulated that sentence.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah, but... Anyway. You have made a good point, and we'll leave the episode on this. What is the better picture? The Trump picture? Regardless of how you feel about Trump's politics and personal and everything that tells you that he may not be... Yeah, everything to suggest he's not a good person. Also, Luigi. Regardless of how you feel, he is a murderer, allegedly. We don't know.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
We don't know there yet. He pled not guilty. My favorite, honestly, is seeing those comments.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I'm like, it looks something. It looks, honestly. Even if it's like. Yeah. But the eyebrows, they're different. And it's like, okay. It's like, this is a security camera. Yeah, so what's the better picture? I think that's a really good question to leave people on.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Something like that. And don't ask me where I learned this because the answer is the office. But I think most businesses in their first five years don't turn a profit. They need to prove that they are sustainable after that. I've been watching a lot of Shark Tank, too. So what does that make you good at? You see any good ones? Any good inventions?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Was there anything that like growing up, like you heard about and you're like, I had that idea. The word biznatch. Frank, I'm talking about, like, businesses, inventions, and, like, Post-Its or something. The word biznatch? Yeah, honestly. Who even made it up? Biscuit? I don't know. Honestly? Wait, you heard the word biznatch, and you said, yo, I said biznatch.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah, I was – so my sister had a friend who was a couple years older than, you know, than I was – than we were because our sister's the same age. And – She came home one day, and I had been using Biznatch relatively isolated in my own, amongst myself. In your room, just Biznatching to yourself. To myself, playing video games. Calling yourself a Biznatch?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Calling our friends, but also amongst our friends. Oh, calling our friends Biznatches. And then she one day said it, and I was like, where the hell did you hear that? And she's like, I heard people at school were saying it, and I was just like, I coined Biznatch. So you think that you saying Biznatch, probably on Xbox, at us... Well, no, it was before Xbox Live. It was like 2002, 2003.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
It's like, now we're just going to call you that. Yeah. It's a cool name, though. I got to admit. I always wanted a scar when I was younger.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
So then the streets carried business. I mean, you remember, there were certain rumors that were powerful enough to travel the world pre-internet fame and monstrosity that it is now. Right. Marilyn Manson taking out a bunch of his ribs. So he could suck his own dick. So he could suck his own dick. Ciara, penis. Ciara, penis. Olivia, penis.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
She was from G-Unit. She was the other... Oh, she had a penis? There was rumors that she had a penis. Oh, okay. You know, but like stuff like that. Yeah. So I thought when I heard someone use biznatch, I felt... A part of me felt...
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
excited for like maybe someone heard me and was just like i'm gonna go spread this then i was a little worried i was like am i not gonna get the credit for right because that's what it's all about you wanted miriam and you know webster to call you this is this is not a joke i legit at the time believed that i came up with the word biznatch my brother thomas believes that he brought the v-neck back he believes that i also believe i brought back hawaiian shirts that's not a joke
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I mean, people bring it up all the time. I didn't think it was going to become that popular of a quote from our show, but my legs are mostly scars. Right, yeah. I do have a scar on my eyebrow. You do, don't you? Yeah, I do. I believe it's this one right around like right here. Yeah, I can see it. And it's from when I was a baby. Not a baby.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I firmly stand by I brought back floral patterns in Hawaiian shirts.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
No, they were the ones that killed it. Let me tell you. Hawaiian shirts used to be cool in, like, the 70s and 80s. Is it coach-a-probe? Coach-a-probe. Is it? Well, I don't care. Wait, in regards to the old white cops? Oh, wait, you mean Hawaiians? Who else would I be talking about? No. I meant the Hawaiians. Oh. Why is it Hawaiian? I think it was just like a... I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I don't know. I'm not even going to try. Yeah. But I do know that it was cool at one point. Like, I'm talking like Magnum PI. You know? Yeah. Tom Selleck. Dude, Tom Selleck could have shit on a shingle and people would have thought it was the coolest thing on the town.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
How did you bring it back? Because there was no Hawaiian church anywhere. You found them. But I went and I saw one at Ralph Lauren at a Ralph Lauren outlet. Let's be very clear about something. I was going to say, how much did you pay for that? It was a Ralph Lauren outlet. And I was like, you know what? Hell yeah. This was me. I felt it. It felt good to me. Hawaiian. Yes, exactly.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
When you look at me, if you don't think Hawaiian, what do you think? nothing else yeah but this is me this is who i want to be now and then i just kept buying hawaiian shirts and like then i saw like at first and you were a part of this too people made fun of me i was definitely a part of that yeah i do remember that We're just like, what are you wearing? And I was like, I like it.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Who gives a fuck? You know, and I still take that mentality to this day. I agree. You do. I'm not trying to be offensive. Okay. All right. As soon as it left my mouth, I was like, that could be misconstrued. And you know, yeah, well, I'm teetering. I'm teetering right now. I'm lying right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I was just like, and then I saw other people starting to wear it.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And then some of our friends started getting floral pattern stuff. And I was like, I, I brought back Hawaiian shirts and floral patterns. Do you think that Hawaii should be thanking you?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
for something like that i don't know if it's like the answer is no frank okay don't offend the hawaiians i was just gonna say like i don't know or the origins of hawaiian shirts i don't know like were they legit like like it's like french fries they don't come from france belgium Oh, yeah, I don't know, but I know they don't come from France. Yeah. French toast. Is that from France?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I don't know, but if it is, then they scored a point in my book. French kissing?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I was like a toddler and I ran into the wall, like the corner of the wall and cut me up. Dumbass. You know what's funny is I made a vow to myself on the way here. Like, I am going to open the show. And be nice. And be very nice and joyous and calm and happy. I feel like we're doing that, though. You just called me a dumbass. Yeah, but, like, we weren't yelling.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I imagine around before the French. I do too, but I do think that, like, for some reason, French people are probably really good at making out. I don't know why. The ancient Greeks were fucking each other in the butt. You think they weren't fucking slipping a little bit of tongue in on some kisses? I mean, they're probably the best at anal then, but, like, I don't know about French kissing.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Well, that's why they call anal, like, other, like, the colloquial term for anal sex is Greek dogging.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Okay, I was gonna say, if that's real... Greek dogging. That's a good one, though, right? Yeah, I mean. Oh, you're trying to coin a phrase now. I'm trying to start something here. It's like, I lost out on Biznatch. Now I'm getting Greek dogging now. Oh, man. Fucking guy got Greek dogged last night.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Speaking of Biznatch, which I'm not going to speak about that, but like Limp Bizkit, because it makes me think of Limp Bizkit. Remember when he said he did it all for the nookie? What? The nookie. What? So you could take that cookie. Oh, okay. And stick it up your... Yeah! What is that? Is that puss? Nookie has got to be... Puss? Yeah. I did it all for the Nookie. What? The Nookie.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
So you could take that cookie and shove it up your ass? What is the Nookie?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I think so, but I don't know how motivated Fred Durst was by Nookie. By the Nookie. Because he seems like he'd be more motivated by Monster Energy drinks. Skateboarding. Definitely. Those beanies that have a brim. Jenko... Stuff like that. You got me, bitch. Jenko jeans. Yeah. You know? Chain wallets. Yelling into... Yelling at your parents.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And then hitting them with one of these. Right. You know? What is the Nookie? Yeah. What is the Nookie song about? I think it's Puss, I think. Um...
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Song Facts, which is a website apparently, is here to tell us as it's loading. Goodness gracious, why is it taking so long? Really cut some corners on the fucking... Frankie Phones is back at it. Apparently here, the small blurb that I can see is that the song is about an old girlfriend of Fred Durst's who betrayed him.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
When Durst was getting his career started in Los Angeles, he was, and then it cut off. So he did it all for her puss. And then he's going to shove a cookie in her? Yeah. I mean, that part... She could take that cookie and stick it up her... Yeah. Stick it up her... Yeah. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah, dude. I can't even begin to explain the love I have for Limp Bizkit.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Well, first of all, let's back up a little bit. Werewolves don't transform in the night. They transform underneath the light of a full moon. So we'll make sure we make sure that is correct.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Werewolves, they don't... I guess they wait until... Because the sun gets rid of it. But I thought they can't help it. They break all their clothes. Yeah, but at night they do that. It's expensive being a werewolf. Hell yeah, dude. I mean, just be naked. Just be naked. For real. I would never wear good clothes because I'm like, I'm going to rip this. Yeah. But... What were you saying? The Nookie.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
No, Roland. Roland. I have a very strong connection to the song Roland by Limp Bizkit, mainly because of The Undertaker. That was The Undertaker's theme song for, oh man, what seems like the better part of two, three years. So anytime The Undertaker came out. I heard Roland, and it was sick. And don't even fuck with me.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I will go as far to go out of my way to be like, let's roll the dice.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah, I mean, I don't think... It's what fuels us all. It's crazy, like, how long that was and how incoherent it was at the same time. At one point, you said we wouldn't exist if we didn't eat hot dogs.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Sausages Yeah Them too Yeah Sausages are great But they're not technical. I mean, they're round because we shove it in a thing. They're not actually. Yeah, what do you think a hot dog is, brother? What is?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I kind of like when hot dogs have a little balloon knot at the end.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah, the little asshole at the end. Yeah, I do. I kind of like that. I don't hate it. Or if it comes to a point, I go, can I bite it?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
At the same time. There's that human DNA that's getting into them. Have you ever stirred something and there's bubbles? I take the spoon and I eat the bubbles first and I throw the spoon and then I drink the drink. What? You don't understand what I'm saying? If I'm stirring something, right, and it creates bubbles. What are you stirring? Soap?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
But, like, I drink, actually, I guess everything except wine with an ice cube.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
So if you stir anything quick enough where you're trying to mix something, then there becomes bubbles. I take the spoon, and I eat the bubbles, and then I drink the drink.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
No, I just feel like I don't want the bubbles to be in every sip.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
water too like if you get a cup of water with ice cubes i do too but i'm saying like if someone gives you a cup of water would you like with ice or without ice you'd prefer oh i'm not gonna make them do an extra i mean it's just right there it's just right there i know but i'm not gonna ask i'm just gonna say can i have a cup of water yeah i don't know if i'm at your house not your house but anybody's house and i ask for a cup of water and you hand me room temperature water this is a pigsty right
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I just don't know what that tastes like to me. I just don't know. That's crazy. I know salty. I know sweet and sour. I'm like, that's it. I haven't graduated to the other. What about spicy? Spicy. Yeah, I know spicy.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
But I am jealous. Did you guys ever cut open animals?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Why are you starting every episode? I don't know. I gotta be honest.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Okay. A dead one, though, but not a live one. What's that movie where the live ones, he frees all of them?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I think it's E.T., I could be completely so fucking wrong on that.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
They're so clammy. Have I held a frog? You gotta know that.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
No, I feel very – I like possums more than I like – Hell no. Hell no, bitch. You like raccoons more? Actually, I might like raccoons more.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah, yeah. No, you're right. Those little evil-looking bitches. Raccoons are way better. Yeah, dude. Way better. Yeah, you're right. And ferrets.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Legit every single bug. Every single one of them. And that includes arachnids. Mostly arachnids, I would say. And...
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Big fly? Absolutely. Get out. Hell no, dude. Yeah, I don't need that. But. Anything like big that you would like, we could do without that. How do you feel about hippos? They're cool.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah, I want to hang out with a rhino just for an afternoon. Just see what he's doing. Because I feel like – see, this is where I'm nuts, and I know that you know this.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
If I can get really close to its eye and just have it look at me and I can look at it, I feel like I could –
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I will admit, in the right environment, that could happen. We've seen Jane Goodall, our girl. I don't know why she's our girl, but she is a girl who has done that. So she hung out. She's done with... No, no, no. She was boys with the gorilla. I think she's dead now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't know if she's dead, honestly. I don't know either. Dr. Jane Goodall, by the way.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Uh, but the, the, but like a rhino or like an elephant or something like that. Like if I, or a whale, like, I think if you put me in the water, put me next to the big eye of a whale.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
But he's not going to try and hurt me because he's not interested in me.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
The water should be on the colder side. I'm not saying it has to be freezing cold, but you're going to hand me room temperature water like I'm drinking out of the toilet?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
They're both like whatever they are, those little things.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
But anyway, I think that if I get close to a whale and I could get on it and look in its face, it would get it. They would get what I'm trying to go for.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah, yeah. We're still going to have hot dogs. Yeah, we're going to have hot dogs.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I do that with coffee pretty much every day. You drink hot coffee, and it's like, I could feel. Really?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Squarespace is where you're going to build all your websites. You want to build the website. You want to show people the content that you're making or you have a product or something. You're going to want to build your website with Squarespace like I do. All the websites that we have are all built with Squarespace.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I like them because I think that they're your first impression and they make it easy to build a very nice looking website. It doesn't take a genius to create it because they have these templates that you can use. And you get a really big head start with that. And all you have to do is kind of sub some things out. And it does take some time, but it's not crazy long starting from scratch.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Give you a nice template. Make sure you have a nice website as your first impression. So, you know, that is important.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You can head to squarespace.com slash basement to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain, okay? So squarespace.com slash basement, save that 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. It's very important that you guys have a great website, so you're going to need that. They're also going to help you figure out where all your traffic is coming from.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I'm telling you, there's a lot of tools on Squarespace. If you're going to build a website, you have to do it with them, all right? So there you go. We also have Rocket Money. Rocket Money is going to put some money back in your pocket.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
It's going to find and cancel unwanted subscriptions that you may or may not have signed up for in the past and cancel them so you can save that money every single month. We've all done it. Sign up for a free trial or we're signed up for a newspaper or something we haven't read in a year and a half and we've just been paying for that.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I know I've done that a couple times and the only way that you can really find out if you're bleeding a little bit of cash every single month
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
with rocket money it makes it very easy and organized to see the things that you're paying for and then you can cancel the things that you don't want they also have a budgeting tool to make sure you're being more financially responsible every single month set a budget for yourself so you can save your money and you know you put in all your purchases there to make sure you're not going over and they also have a feature that you can take a picture of your bill upload it and they can help you lower your bill if possible so
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
It is all about putting money back in your pocket, and they have over 5 million users, and they have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, which means on average people are saving $740 a year. Wild. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Just go to rocketmoney.com slash basement today.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
That is rocketmoney.com slash basement. All right. Enjoy that. Put the money back in your pocket, folks. All right. You'd rather have it at the end of the year. And lastly here, of course, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. OK, so if you want to start talking to a therapist, you can do so at BetterHelp.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
They make it very easy to connect to a therapist in a short amount of time and also very easy to switch from therapist to therapist. You can find the right fit for you. Also, it's customizable. So if you want to talk once a week or once every other week or once a month or something like that, whatever frequency you're comfortable with, you can do so with BetterHelp.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
They have a licensed therapist in every state. And yeah, it's also more affordable than in-person therapy, which can be very expensive. You know, I know I've looked in the past at some therapists and I'm like, geez, every session is like $400. Like who can afford that? So it's nice. With BetterHelp, it's more affordable.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
And, yeah, if you want to dip your toe into the world of therapy, I suggest you do so. It's been, you know, very beneficial for me. So I would, you know, use BetterHelp. So go to betterhelp.com slash basemanyard today and save 10% off of your first month. That is BetterHelp, spelled B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash basemanyard right now.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah, and you say this every single time. It bothers you, doesn't it?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
That's what I'm saying. He, like, is, like, flipping his wand and shit.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah. I want to see how fucking- You're so angry these days.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Bro, I feel like Slytherin is behind this. Like, all of Gryffindor is going down.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
No, but he was, like, very... He was adjacent. He was Gryffindor adjacent.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah, he also looks like he's got a fake eye, but I think it's real.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You don't think that he's having, he's, Frank.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Oh, that sounds like a troll job there. I think she was fucking around.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yo, has anyone... Well, actually, never mind. Hermione's the only person in that whole movie who has ever gone to the bathroom.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Wait. No, he didn't. He was just like a Russian dude, no?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
But you know, it is what it is. Anyway, yeah, Mr. Beast, he rented the pyramids, which is the thing I didn't think you could do.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I'm telling you this right now. If I rented the pyramids and you refused to go in them, I'd kill you right there.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
And I also wouldn't open the sarcophagus thing. I wouldn't do that. Although I would love to see like a mummified... You are a lot braver than I am.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Whatever. If he gets cursed or something, that's on him. It's on all of us. Well, it's definitely going to spill out.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
The bald guy. What's the thing? What the hell? Oh, great. Now I'm going to end up on those websites.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You know, I never want to be that famous, but that would be a perk. When you get to the point where people start to speculate, and now you're in conspiracies of like, look, he's on TV doing this, and it's like it means something, I'd be like, what the fuck?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
See, I'm too silly for that type of shit. Because if someone, if people are saying it. What am I to do? Now I know. Now you have to lean into it. Now I have to lean.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah. All my whole fucking TikTok is him like on Theo's show and then on like press runs and doing this and that.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Wait, is that Bob Dylan? No, that was Rolling Stones.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
At all. It sounds like it sucks. I don't know how we jumped from there, from the pyramids, but it's fine. We're not really good at segues on this show. And that's just something.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
What's, like, the famous Bob Dylan song? I don't know why I can't think right now.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
He's got it. He's got it. Glory Days is probably my favorite Bruce song.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Just bear with. I know there's people who are smart to listen to the show. Why? I'll ask why. Yeah, yeah. You're not really helping yourself. You're not. But here's. I'm with you now. Okay. I mean, it goes into the stomach because it has to. And if it doesn't, that is a complete shock to this person.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
But we started the year in January with our first show. Yeah. At the end of the year, we ended up doing Radio City, and now we're here.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
2025. That's insane. 2000 was a quarter of a decade ago.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Pieces of persons. Yeah. But when you drink water, right, and it goes into the stomach?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
How does it get to the kidney? Because there has to be some sort of filtration system.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Oh, okay. I absolutely love it. What are you going to say? And also, we still don't know where the stomach is going.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah. Well, take it easy. That's what you were doing. I was not doing that.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Well, we've gone over the order numerous times. I will say this. I don't think I'm shampooing enough.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Jumanji's going on here. That sounded like a fucking 10-foot phone started vibrating. What was that? Did you hear that? Now I'm talking to the camera.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You sitting on Sibians? Don't make me say it. Sitting on Sibians.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah, I do want to see that tape. You pigged it.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You did. Into a Sibian. Into a Sibian. That was awesome.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
All hair. All hair is flammable. No, but like pubes specifically.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You think they were doing all that? I think so. Weren't they all messing with their secretaries back then?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Wanted to talk – that's a weird way to segue into my next show. Yeah, why not? But I saw a thing that – because I tweeted about it. But, like, apparently there was a study done about hot dogs. You know how we feel about hot dogs on this show. And it was like – Human DNA was found in American hot dogs. Clear Foods analyzed 345 hot dog products and found human DNA in 2% of the samples.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
And then I said, I don't really know what they'd have to find in hot dogs that would make me stop eating them because I just found out that it isn't human DNA. So I'm going to continue eating hot dogs even if you tell me there's 2% people in it.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I mean... Bro, also, if you tell me that if I eat my own finger, it'll taste like a hot dog, we're going to have a bigger problem.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
It'll make surviving a plane crash a lot easier if I know that humans taste like hot dogs. If I got to eat my friend because we landed on the side of a mountain— I'll tell you this. Oh, God. This is weekly. We need to be careful what we're going to say.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Hell yeah, dude. Like Bob Ross, happy accidents. Also, regeneration.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You didn't hear about that? Oh, yeah, that's right.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I already said it. You were with your mom.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, that was an interesting date.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Happens. Could be wrong. Things happen. People are wrong.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I wouldn't even mix the shit up. You were getting nasty with it, dude. I wouldn't even go crazy.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yeah. So it looked like I picked something up. And I didn't pick anything up.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
It's not like her religion. Yeah, no, no.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
3000 Action-Filialen in Europa und wir feiern mit extrem niedrigen Preisen. Zum Beispiel unsere Superfin Waschmittelpots, 18 Stück nur 2,99 Euro. Und unsere Spektrum Sprühfarbe für perfekte Deckung nur 2,33 Euro. Für noch mehr extrem niedrige Preise besuche unsere Filialen oder schau in die App Action. Kleine Preise, große Freude. Welcome back to the Bay.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Strike, strike, light strike. Strike, strike, light strike.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Can we make it holy light strike? Speaking of holy water, holy light strike. I've been stricken by the light of God.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
welcome back to the basement welcome back to the basement yard frank welcome back i haven't seen you in like two weeks yeah isn't that isn't that kooky yeah well kooky's not the word i'm leading 2025 with positive vibes Ooh. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Are you asking me? I don't know. I don't know what you're leading with. I don't know. Like, just like. You want to be more lovey. I want to.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I just eat wind, would you say? Are you okay? What's the TikTok? Yeah, he's laughing with his tongue out now. You know what's funny? I've known Frank my entire life. He just started doing that like two years ago. You started sticking your tongue out when you left. You get to a point in your life where you got to stick that tongue out, you know? I don't know. Yeah, you do. Buck. Why'd you say buck?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Make this year, let's get back to our roots. Let's be a little grimy. I want to see someone hand me a beer like this. I don't want that. I want to see someone wipe their mouth with a cup and then fill it up with water and ask me to drink from it. Let's get back to our roots. What the hell are you talking about? Us as a society, we feel we need to be too clean cut and prim and proper.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I think most of it did, honestly. I don't. I don't think that. But... You think the election was won and lost with the amount of, like, that we need to be at dive bars more. That's what you're saying. Yes, absolutely. The dive bars need to be really diving.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I imagine if you ask people that voted a very specific way during this last election, if they want more dive bars, bring it back to, you know, to old, old, old, you know, screaming, screaming Steve down the block. Give him his establishment back. They'll say, yeah. Yeah. Here's one thing that I will say I'm cool with bringing back. I think that we need to have more saloon doors.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
uh-huh i'd like to kick open some saloon doors yeah we've lost the ability to do that with like and people turn around and like anytime it should be a saloon doors you got people got to look at you anytime it should be a law bars need to have saloon doors right and it's like a you know like remember that guy that was screaming the the white guy that was screaming questionably racist japanese at that restaurant we went to anytime someone walked in
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
He was screaming actual stuff He wasn't screaming racist remarks He was saying welcome I think Yeah but also It was a Japanese restaurant without a single Japanese person Working there It should be a rule that anytime someone walks in Everyone just does one of these I think they do Look back you know Dive bars though if you go to places where there's not a lot of people Everyone looks at you I don't know if I love that I don't but that's because of who we are What is that you like attention but you're like When I walk into a room nobody look at me
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I think that's the complex in the world that we live in, having made a living off it. Frank, you have referenced society in the world that we live in 400 times, and I'm sick of it already. It's 2025, Joey. I know. I'm trying to be more positive. Stop talking for society! Listen, we are a mouth for society. Society has asked us to be their mouths. Okay? We have a responsibility on this platform.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
This is the year, Joey, where we start shutting mouths and opening mouths. What? This is why I hate New Year's. Okay? Resolutions. And it's like, this is what this year is going to be about. You're going to forget this. You may have already forgotten it right now. I'll be honest with you. Most of what I say on this show immediately out the window the second I walk through that door. Right.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
That just goes to show how much thought goes into the things that we say on this show. But it is the new year. Thank you. Christmas was here. We exchanged gifts. I was very kind to you. Thank you. We talked about it where we exchanged gifts in the parking lot here, which looked very not safe. Yeah, it was a questionable drug deal.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I did make a grave mistake when giving Frank gifts for him and his children and his wife. Yeah, yeah. And Miles, the oldest one, which is the one that you shouldn't mess up because he knows what's going on. He gets it. I got him a miniature hockey net because he's into hockey now and he's a Devils fan. Trust me, it's been a topic of contention in the house.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Uh, but it was like branded as like the New Jersey devils and there's like two little sticks. So, you know, Frankie can get on his knees and they play hockey in the basement or something like that. You know what I mean? Uh, and I.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
wrapped it well i took some stuff out of the box because i was like gonna put it in a bag but then the box was like this big so it didn't fit in the bag this is a very long-winded explanation here uh but i took some stuff out of the bag forgot about it wrapped the box then gave him the box and on christmas morning i think no actually uh christmas eve morning christmas eve morning uh miles opened it up and it was just the pipes
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And it was missing the sticks, the balls, the net, and the part that says New Jersey Devils. He literally opened up a box from old Uncle Joey that was white pipes. And Frankie didn't know when I got them either. So Frankie, when I got home, I was like, oh, shit. Everything that makes this a gift, I still have. You still had it, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
My body is just... Hold on. I'm going to get rid of them. You ready? Oh, yeah. We've seen this before. He takes breaths on breaths on breaths. He ate that last one hard. Now he's letting the air out slow. That's what you're hearing if you're listening. All right. Better. And they're gone. I think her name is Maya. Maya. I see that one, too. I see Maya.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
So I opened the box, or I'm thinking, I'm like, they just opened up a bunch of white pipes. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's weird because when kids get to a certain age, like Christmas is – you make it as magical for your kids, but it can be often overwhelming. Like it is like – A lot of gifts. A lot of gifts. Kids wake up at the crack of dawn and like you just start bombarding them with shit.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Do you guys go in order? Like everyone opens their – No, we try to like one at a time. But it's not a free-for-all is what I'm saying. No, correct. It's not a free-for-all because we want to see the kids open their gifts from Santa and stuff like that. But it's overwhelming.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
So, like, at a certain age, and you'll see this when you have kids, like, you kind of need to, like, train them when opening gifts from loved ones because, like, kids are very honest.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And they'll open something and they'll go, like, oh, I don't – you know, like, they'll say, like, there have been times in the past – and maybe not with Miles, but I've seen other kids being, like, opening something and just being, like, oh, okay. Whack. You know, basically. Yeah. So, like, Miles is really empathetic and he's really good at being, like –
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Even if in the moment he's not excited about it, he's like, wow, this is awesome. I may have stumped him with pipes, though. He opened that. And like... I was laughing so hard. He was just like, uh, whoa. And, like, you know, like, the parent in me, like, Beck and I are sitting there, and we're just like, oh, what is that? Like, oh, this, could that be, you know?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And, like, it's just white indiscriminate PVC pipes. It's literally just PVC pipes. And we're just like, oh, okay, you know. And then... Yeah. We're, like – and I didn't – because you had texted me laughing about this. Like, I didn't want to reach out to you and be like, what the hell is this? Because it comes off as insensitive. You know what I mean?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Like, you're not going to be the one to get a gift and just be like, hey, by the way, what the fuck was that? Right. So, like, we just, like – we're just like, oh, okay. We just, like, let it do its thing. And then you texted me. No, the best part about this is that – You were trying to do a nice thing. So when he was opening it, Frankie was taking pictures.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
But Frankie didn't send me those pictures. He sent them to me after I was like, dude, I fucked up and I didn't put all this shit in there. And then he sent me the pictures. I sent you the pictures of the girls opening their gifts. No, he sent me a picture of Miles opening my gift. But he had just started opening it. And I was thinking about this after the fact.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I was like, you probably didn't send that to me because you were so confused that I gave your son pipes. Yeah, he was a little confused. Like, I don't know. He was confused. I just, you know, like, again. That's so funny. It was very funny. It was actually, you know, like, Joey's being honest when he said we hadn't seen each other since the day before. So the 23rd. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And now the day we're recording, it's after New Year's. So almost two weeks. But it was an adventurous break. I did almost. I told you this right before we started recording. I did almost pass out in the shower. Hold that thought. We have sponsors. We will find out what happens to you in the shower right after this. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. How you doing?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Some therapy for the folks. If you would like to dip your toe into the world of therapy, you can do so via BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. Best part about it, customizable. Okay. Also more affordable than in-person therapy. So it's nice there. But it's customizable. You can go once a week or once every other week or once a month or whatever you are comfortable with.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
You can do talk on the phone, FaceTime, text, whatever you want. They make it very easy to connect you with a therapist. It just takes like around 48 hours. Also make it very easy to switch from therapist to therapist so that you can find the right fit for you and start your beautiful journey of therapy. And I've been in therapy for years now and I love it.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And it's, like, basically, like, it'll be, like, a cheesy song where it's, like, I always needed you, you, you, you. And it's, like, different moments of us, like, laughing at each other. Yeah. You know, or, like, hugging on stage or something like that. Yeah. You know, but it's fine. Guys, 2025, hug your bros, dude. Yeah, dude. Hug. It's bro hugging season. Can't just do another season.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I think that everyone should be in it, honestly. Can't talk about that enough. But yeah. Go check it out. And like I said, it's more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can save some money also. You can visit BetterHelp.com slash BasementYard today to get 10% off of your first month.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
That is BetterHelp, spelled B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash BasementYard today to save 10% off of your first month. And we also have Rocket Money. which is also going to help you save some money. And how are they going to do that? That's a great question. Rocket Money, it's an all-in-one personal finance app that is just geared to put money back in your pocket, like I said.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And the biggest way they do that is to find and cancel unwanted subscriptions. And, you know, it's everyone kind of makes that mistake. And sometimes it's like I don't even know if I'm paying for something that, you know, I actually found out this was like five years ago, maybe that I had been paying for like this Web site that I don't even remember signing up for.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And it was like thirteen dollars a month or it was like eight dollars a month. So I didn't really notice it on my statement. But I had been paying for it for like years, and I never used it. So Rocket Money is going to help in that way. Find those things, cancel them so you can put the money back in your pocket.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
They have other features like a budgeting feature that will help you stay within your budget every single month so you'll be more financially responsible. And they also have a feature that can help you lower your bills as well. But, yeah, on average, people are saving $740 a year. That's wild. Five million users, and they have saved a total of $500 million.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash basement today, okay? That is rocketmoney.com slash basement. Put that money back in your pocket, folks. Frank? And you know what you can do if you have a little bit more money in your pocket and you're feeling generous? Why don't you support the Patreon?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. I tell you guys about it every single week, and I'm very appreciative that you guys have helped us amass almost 33,000 patrons. Thank you guys so much. It has been an incredible ride, and 2025 is here, and we are excited and gearing up to... See what the next phase of Patreon looks like. So go over to patreon.com, sign up today for that first tier.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
You get these weekly episodes one week in advance, seven whole days in advance, one week in advance. And then that next tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday morning. That's right. The sun may rise, the sun may set, and the basement yard will be there for the entire time. on Mondays and Fridays at least. So go check it out. Thank you so much to all of our patrons.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And if you're unable to, we still appreciate the love and support anyways. So patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. We're excited for a real fun year. This is the year, Joey, we've spoken about openly. We've gotten a new studio. So this may be the last episode. We're in this one. You never know. You never know. I don't know. Do you know? It's just about, I think. Okay. All right. So go check it out.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
You can point at me. That one felt... When you twist a point... That felt a little mud blood. This is so much worse than that. This... Actually, which is worse? This. This is kind of bad. That's like that person. That's like, get that person. Like, the minute... Oh, yeah, yeah. The minute it turns, it's just like, get him! Yeah, it's like, you're a person, and now it's like, now you're a target.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Now someone's after you. You're a target. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The, you know, turning it makes it like... Oh, dude. It's crazy. It's crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy. We're starting off this year... Hot. Hot. Steaming. But speaking of steaming, I was in the shower. You're like real hot in the shower, don't you? I kind of do. Yeah. You know, that's probably why my skin is so dry. Why?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Because you have really hot water? Yeah, baby. Look, I'm a little dry right now. I know. Here we go. What? I thought you were going to lick your hands like a cat, like you usually do. No, no, no. They're not that dry right now. Actually, they just weren't. Yep, I know. But I'm in the shower, and I was – I guess on TikTok or something, I saw that guy that I always talk about that annoys me. Yep.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Maybe we can, bitch. I guess we could. Because we got dog sucking season. But season's end. You should hug your bros for life. Season's end only. I was going to say you should brug your hoes. Yeah. Brug your hoes and hug your bros. And hug your bros. That's it. Don't forget to brug your hoes. 2025, the year you brug your hoes and hug your bros. Yeah. I kind of like that. Me too.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
You're in the shower on TikTok? No, no, no, no. Before the shower. Got it. I saw that guy on TikTok that's just like – The water is a putrid zero degrees today, and it's minus three outside. We're going to – you know, that guy that takes fucking cold plunges all the time. Cold plunges every day, yeah. Fuck him. Also good for him.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
But then I was thinking about, as I do in the shower, if I were to verbally berate someone that would take cold showers, which I have gotten very close before because there's a family member who tried to push me toward cold showers once. And then I was just like – I kind of like started hyping myself up and I was like, wait, no, I could do this if I wanted to, but I don't want to.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
You don't want to because someone's telling you to do it. Basically. Yeah. Nope. Not basically. Basically. Okay. Yes. But it was getting to the point, like how many, and honestly, be honest with yourself. How many times have you just put yourself in the mindset of just like, I have no reason to do something, but like my own determination wants to see if I can do it. So I'm going to do it.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
All the time, I think. Exactly. Yeah. That was what it was. It's just like, I'm not going to be one of those cold shower people, but I could do this if I wanted to. Okay. So I turned the shower. At the end of my shower, I was like, I'm going to count in my head. How long were you planning to do the cold shower? Until I couldn't take it anymore. Got it.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I was like, I'm just going to count in my head and turn the water cold and see what happens. And you were in a steaming hot. Yeah. This is not an exaggeration. I... I started hyperventilating and almost passed out. Could you have imagined if I passed out face down in a cold shower? Ass up. Frank. Could you imagine? I'm not kidding. This is gonna sound fucked up. I'm ready for it.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I wish that happened. Really? How funny would it be if that happened? If you were like, I had to come into the shower and she found me your asshole open. Can you imagine she had to find you with your bunghole wide open? Yeah, that would have... Well, first of all, I don't know how you think I shower. I don't shower with my asshole agape. No, I know that, but I'm saying, like, you just go down.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
So now you're just kind of, like, tooted up. I have openly thought about how bad it would be because Becca is...
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
without exaggeration half of my size right so like she can't get you out of there just imagine yeah no you know like she's gonna have to call someone maybe she could put a like a little it's weird here's the thing it would be bad if becca found me but i imagine that she would have to call her father my father-in-law to rescue me bro that's way worse than becca yep first of all
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
What does brug stand for though? Athena, make a shirt. Shirt it. She lives in Arizona, I think. She might be in the UK. She's across the pond, as far as I know. She's always moving. Yeah, she's all over the place. Yeah. I think that this should be the year that people stop this feeling weird about showing affection for their bros. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I'm hoping she would call 911 before she would call her dad. Me too. Let a fireman or a paramedic handle this. But also bad, dude. Yeah. I mean, at least, like, they've seen a bunch of butts in the shower probably. I don't need to add something to that one. I agree. And now I love my butt. Right.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
But I don't want, like, I feel like a passed out butt wouldn't look as good as, like, a well-lived living butt. Let's also not forget The Space Between, which is a great song by Dave Matthews. Is that a poem? The Space Between. Oh. I was talking about that. I forgot that song existed. That's such a good song. That's all I know. Yeah, I think that's all their songs, though. That's a great song.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I'm going to listen to that shit as soon as I get in the car. You might have to. So you almost went down. Yo, legit, like, I shut the water off. By the way, five seconds. It took you five seconds. Five seconds. I went, what? And I felt my heart rate. And I was just like, yo, I'm going to go down. And I just shut the water off as quick as I could. Did you sit down? Like, yo, let me just.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I stayed like breathing. So do you have a newfound respect for people who cold plunge? No, they're still stupid to me. They're still dumb to me. I don't know. No, because like. I've heard it all. I've heard, oh, like the brown fat, you know, and all that shit. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Not only have I still think they're dumb, I probably have less respect for them. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
But I secretly have a lot of respect for them. I can tell. That's what the joke is here. Right. The joke. The joke. Yeah, I've done it before and almost passed out. The last time I went to the bathhouse, they have a freezing cold plunge, like a pool. And I was like, oh, let me try because I had never done a cold plunge before. That was the only time in my life that I've done it.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And I got in like up to here and I'm just like, how cold are we talking? I believe it was 30, 40, or 39 degrees. The water? Yeah. That's not bad. It's very bad. It's bad? Yep. Okay. Way colder than the water that you were in. Oh, 32 is freezing. Right. I thought we were going Celsius here. I was just like... Oh, so you thought I was in a hot tub. Yeah. I was just like, wait a sec.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
That's not that hot. No, it was very cold, and I just stood still, and I was like... And I couldn't breathe. You were counting in German? Well, I was... Nine! Nine! No, then I was staring at the clock. And then I—looking up made me dizzy, so I was like, I'm not going to look up. And I was just standing there, and then eventually I had to walk out of steps to get out. And I was holding the pole.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And then once I got out, I was like, oh, shit, I might go down. I think that's the closest I'll ever get to understanding what the people in Titanic went through. Because can you imagine— How cold was that? I think the same. They probably lost a lot of brown fat in that. Yeah, all of their life a lot of them lost because of the hypothermia. Correct. You know, Jack, dude. Jack froze, dude. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
You know, I will say. Honestly, I'd probably rather be dead than like, I'm going to float on a fucking door and become a brick. I'd rather be swimming with a fish. Yeah. At a certain point, this is probably not true. But you know when you go in a pool and then you go outside, you're like, oh, it's so cold. I'd rather stay in the water. The water?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Is the water better than, yeah, the water has to be better than being outside. I mean, I imagine the combination of the two is not good. Yeah. You know, like, if they were dry on that door, she might have, like, I mean, she's, you know, we're also talking about a fictional movie. Right. She might have been good, but, like, the combination of being wet and then on that door. Right.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Not a good combination. I would imagine. I would imagine that would suck. No, I don't like that. How cold is the Arctic Ocean? It was the Arctic, correct? No, no, no. The Atlantic? It was the Atlantic. It was the Atlantic. If they were in the... Yeah. Well, the Arctic, I tell you this right now, very cold. Well, it was January too, right? Wait. Look up when the Titanic went down. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
You know, make this the year of brugging your hose and hugging your bros. Yeah. That's it. I agree. I'm in agreement. What were you just talking about? I will say, I don't know why you showed up looking like Dexter Morgan, but it's kind of working. See, this is last year energy that you're doing here. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, you are. No, no, no, bitch. Because I love. All right. I'm back.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
When it dipped. How cold? How cold? Why are you Christopher Walken now? How cold? How cold is the Atlantic? How cold is the water? Did you hear what I did? That was the worst. How cold was the water when the Titanic sank? Here we go. Ooh, baby. 28. How is it not icy cold? Oh, it's saltwater, baby. That's right. But also, there was a berg that they hit. It was ice.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
It's saltwater, so that's why it doesn't freeze over. I didn't even know that was true. Saltwater doesn't freeze at the same temperature as regular water, baby. This near-freezing temperature would have led to rapid onset of hypothermia for anyone in the water. Oh, yeah. Impact on survival. That's why when people do those polar plunges, I'm just like, yo, you guys are crazy.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I've done a polar plunge crazy I did it when my brother lived in Long Beach they do one on Super Bowl Sunday so I went and did it hey man I jumped in that water and I came out look at me white red yeah my body immediately was like beet red well it's funny because the way the earth is moving if you believe certain scientists polar plunges are like not like as bad because you'll go the day the polar plunge it'll be like 60 degrees out
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Oh, yeah, maybe. That's crazy, though. 28 degrees Fahrenheit, dude. That's a little chilly. I would have not done well on the Titanic. Yeah, you probably would have died. I would have hated the Titanic. I would have hated being on the Titanic. Yeah, I imagine for a couple reasons you would have hated it. Yeah. How do you drive into an iceberg, bro? Be responsible.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
well no that's the thing is there have been scientists that have come out and said like if they had hit the thing head on there would have been damage to the hull but they would have been able to complete the journey but the fact that they tried to like maneuver away from the iceberg is what ended up doing them in so basically they're like like don't be a fucking don't be a fucking bitch dude like hit that shit head on dog
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
So it's kind of like when you see a deer, it's like, yo, speed up. Hit that fucking deer. I've never heard that one. Yeah, they're like, yo, you're supposed to speed up. Really? Apparently. Oh, all right. Cool. And I just, I wouldn't do that. Like, I would see a deer and I'm like, I would do anything but hit this deer, so.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
No. With Nicholas Holt? It's on Max. Dude, watch it. It's good? It's really good. Does he kill a deer in it? Dreamy guy. No, no. Just watch the movie. Really? Dreamy dude, yeah. You don't think so? He does look like a pinky with eyes on him, but he's got like... He reminds me of Benedict Cumberbatch a little. And they both remind me of Gumby, which is not a bad thing. Remember Gumby? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I'm backpedaling a little bit. Some people, their resolutions go out the window in a week. Frank is immediately. Well, you mistook me calling you Dexter Morgan for a bad thing. One of my favorite shows of all time. I will say this is a very Dexter Morgan shirt. And people absolutely love Dexter Morgan. I mean, the way he like... You love him. You had a poster of him in your college dorm room.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
He looks like a worm from Men in Black. Legitimately a lizard was what I was going to say. Yeah, he looks like those worms from Men in Black. And his face has looked old from the day he was born, too. Yeah, he's looked at least 70 his whole life, but now he looks double. You ever think about that? Where it's like, yo, my entire life. Our entire life. That's a long time. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
We're not super young. Snap of a finger for him. Morgan Freeman and Clint Eastwood. You guys have fucking been old. Regis Philbin. I mean, he's dead now. He's gone. He's been gone. Regis Philbin, too. I was like, bro, this guy's been fucking old as fuck forever. Dude, Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson. Well, he looks like. You know what Jack Nicholson looks like?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
There's a certain type of penguin that I don't know. But you know the ones that kind of look like they have hair? It's a little blonde. Yeah, dude. They're all kind of like they're big and fat. I know what you're talking about. Because that movie surfs up. Yes. Where, like, John Cena's a penguin and surfs with penguins in the Bahamas or something. And the surf is up. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Yeah, and kind of like, that's what he looks like to me. He does. He does a little bit. But, like, that always fucks me up because I'll be like, they had a whole career before I was even born. Right. And then now they're just, like, who they are, you know? Yeah. Jack Nicholson, he's probably it for him, this one. Who? Jack Nicholson. Oh, my God. He's up there. By a thread he's hanging.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
He's up there, dude. Yeah, dude. Yeah. I mean, not only is he up there, but he's. visually up there. Oh, I haven't seen him because I don't watch a lot of basketball. Well, he... I feel like... That sounds like he's playing in the game. I imagine that the most recent photo of him has been of him in the Lakers game. Well, apparently he... Which also, traitor, bitch, from Jersey.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I typed in Jack Nicklaus. Jack Nicklaus. Who is still alive? What the fuck? Also, yeah. How do you spell Jack Nicklaus? N-I-C-H. I got it, I got it.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
big guy's 87 he's got maybe you know what maybe maybe you know what like maybe finish the sentence before i flip out maybe like maybe four or five more years at him dude he's born in 1937 yeah dude isn't that weird i feel like that's when they invented the coin like that's how far away that coins were a little before that uh but like he might have existed before like sliced bread
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Okay, basically the same time. First of all, the person who invented sliced bread, their name is Otto Rowetter. Here's the thing about back in the day. Go for it. People were named dumb shit. You know, and not just their first names. Their last names were dumb. Oh, yeah. How did we get rid of... No one's named that. I hope not. No one is named that. I hope they aren't.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And if they are, I hope that they get rid of the last name. And how do you invent something like sliced bread and your family just isn't well known? Here's the thing that... And this is a legit question. How the fuck did someone not think of sliced bread before him? I think they were just like, just rip it. I will say, ripping bread is way cooler than slicing bread.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
You know, just being like, yo, you want? When we did that shoot, I don't want to say where or when, but keep your eyes out. We did. We were ripping bread. We were ripping some bread. I like ripping bread. I like it because then you wipe it, and you're a big food wiper. We know that about you. Yeah, I like wiping it. I know.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I did. Not for gay reasons. Was it? Because it's a good show. Was it the one where he's covered in plastic wrap? Oh, it was that one. Or it's the one where it's like he's holding a fake hand. Right. And it's like doing this. It's like a dead person's hand. Like, oh, he's just like us, but a killer. But it's a killer. It's a dead hand. Yeah. I mean, not a bad thing. I think that, you know.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Remember all those times you said that you didn't, and you tried gaslighting me? No, you made up a story that for some reason you believe, and I'm willing to say- I didn't make it up. I remember so clearly you putting duck sauce on a plate and wiping chicken through it. I remember. I remember. Wait, wiping? Wait, that's not the story that I remember. What do you remember?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Wait, what are you talking about, wiping chicken? You're talking about dipping chicken? Yeah, but you wouldn't just dip. You would put- Because it's flat on a plate. Criminal. You put dips in something round and deep, whether it be a shot glass or... Frank, I'm in my house. In a... Frankie. What? You eat at home, and if you have a side, like a thing of ketchup, you put it in a shot glass?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Yes, if I need to. Because here's the... What do you think, that's normal? Here's the laws of sauces. The laws of sauces. Lawses. If you don't have the proper container to dip... Or a lot of sauces now will come in dippable containers that you can just toss out. Frank, I'm in my house. If you don't, you drizzle on top. No. Those are the rules. Yes, bitch. No. Yes, bitch.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
No, I put my sauce on the side and then after a while, because it like spreads. Criminal. Exactly. That's what happens. Then that's why you were a wipe master general with your food. That's why it was so stupid. People dip that way. It's stupid. I'm telling you they do, but I know it's dumb. Judgmental. Yep. That hit so perfectly. That was a really good bitch. That was a really good bitch.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Nothing's better than a bitch that hits really hard. Dude, a well-placed bitch is so great. Yeah. So great. Go get to these ads. When you could just B, when the B comes out so good, bitch. Yes. That was bad. See, the last one was good. Well, the B needs to pop a little. Yeah. You know, like a real good, like.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
bitch like a harry potter oh you want to get racist like malfoy he he was dropping hard peas yeah and his dad forget about it yeah we're almost me and miles are almost done with our rewatch we're on the very very last movie yeah his dad who looks like his mom from behind yo i'm gonna say something crazy here is this gonna piss me off maybe but get to the ads first okay
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
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The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
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The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
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The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
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The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I would never let a dead hand touch my face. It's disgusting. I'm trying to think of where dead hands have touched me. Isn't it weird? So there's two examples of things, right? Yeah. Of things. Just things. Yeah. Of what I'm about to say. You know, you shake someone's hand, you know, whatever. You love your grandma, you know, whatever the fuck. As soon as they're dead, it's like, ugh. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
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The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
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The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
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The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
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The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
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The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
But anyway, Kickoff is the number one credit building app out there. It has over 100,000 positive reviews on the App Store and 98% are five stars. So if you want to help build your credit fast, you know where to go. But you can shake off the credit hangover and look forward to a brighter credit with Kickoff. Get your first month for just a dollar at getkickoff.com slash basement today.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
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The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Payment and credit activity outside of kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Individual results may vary. Okay? There you go, folks. And Frank, what the heck were you about to say that was going to make me pissed? So I was talking to our buddy Scott recently, and we were talking about Harry Potter and all that, Hogwarts Legacy, the game, which I haven't finished.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I'm actually going to go back and read. There's a new one coming, right? I think they said that they're going to make the second one, but there's been a bunch of weird stuff about when it's actually coming. Okay. But... He said, and this is not an exaggeration, he said that he prefers Slytherin over Gryffindor. And I was like, so you prefer... That kid's an asshole. Thank you so much. God damn it.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Piece of shit, yeah. Like, you prefer, like, just be like... What about it is cool? Well, the green and black... What was wrong with the color scheme, dude? Yeah. You get those two guys, their name are like Barf and Gargoyle. What was the name? Crab and Goyle. Crab and Goyle. That sucks. Barf and Gargoyle, yeah. Yeah, that's right. I'm confusing that with Spaceballs, but his name is Barf.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I would never touch a dead body unless it was like... Go ahead. I realize that's a weird place to pause. But it's like if your loved one just died, it's like, you know, whatever. But like three hours after a body dies, I'm kind of like, oh, that's gross. So there's like a time frame at which you're touching dead bodies. Yeah, you have to be like very newly. Freshly dead. Fresh off the press dead.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Yeah, like, what the fuck is cool about that? And he's just like, and then he was just like, also, Malfoy's the coolest. I was like, bro, get the fuck out of here. Malfoy is a fucking dweeb, bro. He's a little bitch. Malfoy would be cooler if he was just like an asshole through the whole thing. But he turns into a puss. And here's why he said this.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Because he named his character in fucking Hogwarts Legacy. Oh, let me. Mean guy 129? What is it? Scott Malfoy. Scott, what are you doing? And I'm like, I was like, that's like naming yourself Eva Braun. You know what I mean? What are we doing here? You remember Eva Braun, obviously. I don't know how that is. She was the girlfriend to Hitler. And he goes, no, don't disrespect Draco.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
He goes, Slytherins were the flyest. Yo. Scott Malfoy? That's insane, dude. I'm trying to like. I don't even know. That's an insane thing. Just, like, Gryffindors, cool it. And, like, people are going to say, well, if you go on Pottermore, and, like, you get sorted by the hat. Bro, Gryffindors, first of all, cool animal. Yeah, lions. You know, color scheme, Harry Potter. Yeah. Ron Weasley.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Coolest robes. Easily. Also, Slytherin's like third. I would say Hufflepuff sucks. Yeah, Hufflepuff sucks. Number two is Ravenclaw. The name is so sick. Ravenclaw. Yeah, I love that. What color are they? Purple. Like that. And that's your favorite color? Yeah. What kind of reaction was that? Yeah. I'll tell you this right now.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Well, I am a very lovey person. You want us to be less combative. I just said ush. Yeah. I mean, ush. Yeah. I guess too. But not combative. Because I think people like the combat, combatiation. They like when we combat. They like our combatiation. They like when we bat each other with cum. Well. That's a great.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
When I played the Harry Potter video game and the sorting hat went on my head, I'm like, if this isn't Gryffindor, I'm going to cut my own head off. And if it puts me in Hufflepuff, I'm going to cut my head off and I'm going to step on it with the last few seconds. I'll be honest with you. I'll be honest. So if you don't get placed in the proper house, you can ask to move. Right. Like in the game.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
They put me in Ravenclaw. The hardest switch, dude. The hardest switch. I want to go back and play that game now. Go do it. Go and do it. I'll just get on a hippogriff and be like. Love that game. Fuck. Yeah. But I couldn't believe when he was just like, Slytherin's got the most drip. I think he was just going off the color scheme, which don't get me wrong. I like the color green, purple.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
If we're going off color scheme. What? If we're going on a color scheme? Ravenclaw is the coolest. Yeah, Ravenclaw is cool. But we can all agree across the board. I'm sorry if there are any Pottermore nerds out there. Hufflepuff sucks. Sucks, dude. And your founder's name was Helga? Ugh. Ravonna. What's that? Ravonna Ravenclaw. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yo, that's a sexy name. Hell yeah. Ravonna. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And even Gryffindor's name. Godric? Yeah, that's kind of cool. Yo, his nickname is God, bro. Or Rick. That's so less cool than God, Frank. Or Rick. You have the option to have the nickname God or Rick. And you go with the name that sounds like you work in an office, like just an office space. I think that speaks to who me and you are internally. But you're Rick and you think you're God.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I don't think I'm God. My name's God. Oh, people can call me God. Call me God, everyone. That's so sick. People can call me God. Your name's Godric and you're like, just call me Rick.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
all right dude or god rick just call me my full name you don't need to you know yeah but full names are losers remember all those losers we knew that grew up on long island that would just be like anytime they talk about someone they'd be like oh that's stephanie miller it's like oh yeah just use the name steph stephy little little steph yeah i well i'm trying to think of if we know anyone who goes by their full name i don't know anyone who goes by their full name
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I mean, Greg, whenever he walks into the room, he says, he's like, I am Gregory Diebeck. Yeah. Oh no. Greg's a nickname. Yeah. Yeah. But he, he, he reminds us like whenever he talks, cause a lot of people don't know this about Greg, he speaks in the third person. So like, we'll be like, yo, like anyone hungry? And he'll say, he'll be like, Greg, Gregory, Gregory Diebeck wants some white rice.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Freshly dead or after the embalming fluid is kind of doing its thing. No, but I don't even want to touch bodies then. Really? No. What do you want? I want to just lean over into the casket and give it a hug? I'll be honest with you. You love touching dead people. Every wake that I have been to, I have to touch the body. I know, but— Just to make me feel something. I know. Well, that's insane.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Gregory, also Gregory Dyback, left a bunch of little snacks in my back seat, which I just found today. I looked behind me, and there's a little packet of cashews, and there's another little packet of crushed pretzels. Yeah. He also left me garbage in my back seat the last time he was there. He's very garbage-leaving. He ate sunflower seeds and just spit the shells on the seat. No, he didn't.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Bro, there were shells everywhere where he was sitting. What a pig. What? What a fucking pig. Yeah, and honestly, it's really weird. I don't know if you guys have friends like this, but Greg legitimately can't go anywhere without having... You would think it's medical. It isn't. It's just... Psychopathy. He always has little snacks on him, dude. He's like a bird.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
He is like a bird, and they're not like snacks that would get someone to a satisfied level of hunger. It's just like a little... Yeah, and that's a thing too. So if he eats cashews, he's usually eating them with both hands. And he takes them and he'll literally be like this. He'll be like... It's like, yo, bro, it's just a pretzel, my guy. Like he's a fucking raccoon or something.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
He eats, Greg eats like a raccoon. No dairy, little claws. Yeah. And he speaks in the third person. But instead of eating garbage, he leaves it in your backseat. Yes, that is correct. So that's our friend Gregory the raccoon. 2025 is going to be the year we expose Greg for the fucking raccoon he is. Stop talking about the year. I'm over it. No. So you don't understand, Joey. Here we go.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Here's what you don't understand. Tell me. You don't understand that 2025, whether it be, you know, like the reason that people like doing that toward the beginning of the year is because it is a passing of the torch from your former self to your future self, whom you've wanted to be and who you are currently trying to become. Can I say I am shocked that you subscribe to that?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I don't subscribe to it as much, but I am aware that people use it as kind of like a spiritual restart, and I respect it because I respect people. So do you or do you not? You want it to be called God. No, I didn't. See? No, I'm saying I am not, although I don't subscribe to that, I understand people do it. I let them do it. I let them do it. That was filth. If you don't.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Those dirty raccoons that eat with both hands. If you don't subscribe to it and I don't, then we're on the same team. And then you're telling me, here's what you don't understand. But you don't even subscribe to it. You know why? You know why? No opinions. We have flipped. I don't know why that. We have flipped. I don't know why that. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. You know why? You know why?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I'm leaving 2025 with love. You can't say that. But I haven't seen it. Love and joy and happiness. Just not for Slytherin. Just not for Slytherin. Scott Malfoy. What? Dude. Use a condom. Just be safe with your fucking, fucking Draco. All right? Jeez. Scott Malfoy. Boy, do I have a fun text message going out as soon as this episode is done.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
But you also, like, love to touch stuff. You touch the street. You touch a bunch of walls. I am a very tactile person. You are. I explain this any time. What am I— I remember this younger. My sister and I would go to the mall or she'd go shopping. We'd hang out or whatever. And anytime she'd go clothing shopping, I would... She'd be like, do you like this? I would immediately touch it.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Just let him know, like, hey, we might have talked about you a little bit. It's all right. It's okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that would be like Joe Potter, which is nuts. Yeah. Which I would say, Scott, I'll do you a favor here. Scott Malfoy, although it's probably a little worse, it's not that much worse than me just making my name. Yeah. I remember my guy. What was your name?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
My guy's name was like Frank something. Like it was a fun, whimsical name. No. Not Joe Santagata. Oh, you were like Frank Twisters. Whoa. Not really good off the top of my head. 2025, a hot start for Joe. No, it was like- A wizard's name. It was like Jingleforth or something. Like something like- Frank Jingleforth? Something whimsical and fun, you know? Yeah, yeah. And my guy was hot.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
He had cool stuff? I want to show you a picture because I recently sent this. You have a picture of your Harry Potter character on your- Of course I do. Like handy? Yeah. Good looking dude. Come on. You're going to tell me this guy doesn't got the fucking drip? Look at that, baby. What do you think? You know what's funny to think about? I like my outfits drippy, bro.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I'm still digesting what you just said, dude. That was really bad. What's going on? I don't fucking pass out. You want to try that and say it again? No, no, no. Say it again and we won't laugh. Say it again. Say it in a straight face and I'm not going to laugh. Go. You got to stop laughing. Okay, go. I'm not laughing. Me neither. I like my outfits. Drippy, bruh. I'm hip.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I'm in lockstep with what the kids are laughing about nowadays. What is that? You know? Lockstep. What's lockstep? You know? When you're with them, you're walking together. That's how I walk. Hey, hey, kids. So bad. Walk like we're in High School Musical. I like my outfits drippy, bruh. We should end there, right? No. No. I think that we should bury that a little bit. If anything.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I like my outfit. It's drippy, bro. How much time, be honest, did you spend on your Harry Potter character's outfit? Yep. All the time. Yeah, all of the time. Because you can get really cool. Here's the thing. The cool gear that you could get, it looks stupid.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
So what you could do, as I figured out, is that you can equip the cool gear that gives you all the buffs, but you can make it look like something else. Frank. I did that. Yeah, bitch. So I got like, you know, like a legendary, mythical Godric Gryffindor hat and Ravonna Ravenclaw's high heels. Don't ask me why my guy's in high heels. Maybe it's just something that he wants to do, you know?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
But I'm like, all right, you know. But you make it just like black boots, though. Make it look chill. Hell yeah. But you're like, yo, this gives me plus 13 health. Hell yeah. But they just look like black boots. Hell yeah. You know? You know what? I'm going to restart that game. As soon as I'm done, I'm still on my cod wave right now. Yeah, I want to get back into that.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Because so much of what I enjoy about life is right here. You know what I mean? It could be a beautifully, really nice shirt. And if it feels like shit, I don't care for it. Yeah, I don't like shirts that feel like... Construction paper. You know what I'm saying? Oh, my God. Listen, I'm all about saving the planet, but, like, recycled shirts? Fuck you. Yeah, I'm all set on that.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
But isn't it funny how, like... I'm picturing some dude being like, oh, don't play with dolls. Accessorizing dolls is fucking gay and whatever. But then you get on Harry Potter and you're like, ooh, I hope I have a nice cape. Which is exactly what I did. That's what I'm saying. Need a really nice cape. Good capes.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
2025 is the year of just exposing the hypocrisy of that classification of people that think that it's not cool to collect toys or drink a lot of tea. yeah you're the perfect mascot to be defending that thank you yeah what thank you i wonder how much crossover there is between people who love tea and people who love collecting toys there's probably a lot of the world may never know
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
You could just ask ChatGPT, which I've been heavy on asking it things. Well, maybe don't ask artificial intelligence because it could not be accurate sometimes. Maybe just do your own research, Joe. I'd just be typing it into Google, which was technically also like – You can find peer-reviewed articles. Peer-reviewed articles about T? Metadata searches and stuff like that. Metadata searches.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Really understand like the – quantitative way that they were able to decipher this data and apply it to real life, make sure that the study was done with a well-represented group of members of the society and stuff like that. Oh, society again. That was about the 14th society you dropped to this episode. I appreciate you being here. I have already explained. I'm leading 2025 with love.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
You seem like you have a lot of animosity today. You called me a bitch earlier, and I gave you a bitch back. You gave me the hardest bitch anyone's ever given. You bitched me hard. I wasn't planning on bitching that hard, but I don't regret it because it was really cool. Honestly, it was a good one. Don't regret it. I'm allowing you to not regret that one. Bitch. All right.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Let's rock and roll, baby. You had to throw in one more 2025. You guys can go follow me at JoeSanagato. Go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram at TheBasementYard. And that is all. See you guys next time.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
You know what I'm saying? I'd rather let the turtles go on that one. Yeah, like, if you're going to feel icky on my skin, I don't want to save the planet. I agree. I don't want that, you know? And now what they're doing with, like, Snapple bottles and shit like that? Yeah, now we're going... Now we're going back. Wait, with plastic?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Isn't plastic worse than, like, tin or whatever the fuck that's in? Yeah, dude. People are just like, glass is bad for everything. Like, save the turtles. And it's like... Glass is bad? When is glass bad? I guess glass is bad? I think it's also probably, from the company's perspective, more expensive to create... That's what it is. ...glass bottles. Right.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And they're just like, this is 100% recycled material. Where do you get it from? The floating island of recycled nonsense? I'm onto you, recycle thing. Yeah. I don't even know what plastic really is. I don't know how you make that. It's a polymer. What's that, a Pokemon? I don't know what that is, Frank. Well, poly is like a bunch of materials, you know, like put together. Right, but like which?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Exactly. Yeah, that's why I'm saying I don't even know what plastic is. Like I know that, you know, it's plastic. I will say, you know... There is some credit to be, because, you know, all these old people are just like, I lived in the greatest time of the universe. And, you know, my time, the greatest generation. I will say things were better when everything was made of metal and plastic.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I mean, metal and glass. Just saying. Just saying. I like glass. I love glass. Glass is so cool. Glass is great. I feel important when I have something in my hand made of glass. I feel like, you know, like a glass bottle of Coke. Yes, those are cool. Those are real cool. Yeah. Did I tell you?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I told you the story about the guy who showed me this place was always ordering a glass Coke every time I saw him. I was like, this is so weird. I think you are vastly underplaying how popular Coca-Cola is. It's the fucking biggest drink in the world. There's a new study that came out that apparently every can of Coke you have takes like 12 minutes off your life.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I haven't drank a lot of soda in my life. Oh, I have. And I'll tell you this. We know someone that might be dead in a week from the amount of Coca-Cola they have. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And his name starts with A and it ends with Hamed. Yeah, Hamed's going down if that's true. Yeah. Just bring back glass. I'd like some glass. I also like fucking doing that. You know what I mean?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
see like that yeah that was no are we flipping roles here are you going i know i didn't mean to i didn't mean to do that questionably yeah yeah yeah no i wasn't no first of all it's not questionable if you go on tiktok and anyone who makes an edit of us it's like they find any time that we've touched each other yeah like well we're like
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
What's your favorite way to drink a beer? Draft, can, glass, funneled. Draft? Rank those. Draft, can, glass. You don't need to put funneled in there because that's not a real way. Draft is... Or keg. Keg. Keg. Certainly last keg. Keg is certainly last. I would say... I know what my answers are easily. I think that mine is glass, can, draft, keg. I don't love draft. I do like draft.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
But it's so big. I was going to say glass, draft, can, keg last for me. I don't mind a can because you kind of like – you can do this. I don't know what that is. Like you can kind of move around and talk a little bit. How are you talking? How are you talking like you're firing off a shotgun? No, like sometimes I get really into a story and I got to move a little bit. You know what I mean?
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Or it's like it's just nice to stand there like, yeah, you know. Also – You can't do that with a bottle. If anything, you can do it more with a bottle than a can. Bottles first. That's what I'm saying. But you said I like cans because I can just shove them around. More than a draft because I kind of have to balance that. That is true.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
But most of the time when you're having a draft, you're at a bar or something. You can put it down, tell your story, go like this. There's also not a lot of beers that are on draft that are really good. It's like light beers and some fucking bullshit. I went to the diviest bar I've ever been to this past weekend. Let me tell you, it smelled like people died in that bitch. Well, I'll tell you this.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
You kind of liked it. Why? What are you gaslighting me into having an opinion? What was that? You liked it. You did like it. No, I mean, I didn't. I didn't. Really? Because it smelled like a basement, but we were above ground. But there's something that's actually probably the black mold coursing through your lungs right now. 100% there's black mold. There was a hole in the ceiling. Unexplainable.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Asbestos. That's what that probably was. No. I don't know if you know what asbestos is. Yeah. It doesn't make holes. I know, but it was probably in the hole. Oh, it was probably in that hole. It was probably filled with that. I'm just – I think – A dive bar is such a – first of all, you live in Brooklyn now. People are trying to make dive bars.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Second of all, there is something so heartwarming about it because it's just like – it's a relic of the past, like pre-corporatization of everything. It was just like a little mom-and-pop place that was owned by an old guy that wore a newsy hat, and any time you walked in, he's cleaning the glasses. He's like, what do you want, hon? Yeah, and he makes inappropriate comments at women.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I went to a bar one time where it was called, like, Jerry's. I walked in. The guy's like, you guys aren't from here. And I was like, what's your name? Jerry. He's Jerry. He's Jerry. You met Jerry. That's what I'm talking about. Dude. Love that. This is going to sound so fucking insane, but one of my favorite, like, places. Because during college, we'd go out. House parties.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
i meant like if i laugh and i like touch your hand people are like they zoom in on my hand touching your hand they're like they're in love i'm like bro yeah i'm gonna give i'll give props i think the one the one girl that makes a lot of i don't know if they're a girl oh there we go cancel 2025 what was that uh who who who do you know my brother frank i gotta be honest it's not a good you're starting the year with hiccups
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
There was, like, kind of, like, not upscale, like, half. bar, half clubs, but like... Okay. One of my favorite places, there were two bars in West Haven. One was called Spectators, aka Specs. That sounds like a... It was. ...boyerism bar. It basically was. The other one was called The Brick. And they were the diviest of dive bars, but there's just such a comfort and camaraderie in that.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Like you walk in and they're just like, oh, yeah. Cheers. We have lost. Cheers doesn't exist anymore. I haven't even seen a frame of that show. Neither have I, but I know what it's about. It's about a bar. Where everyone knows your name. Right. Why do you think that show is so timeless? There's only been one bartender in my entire life that has ever remembered my name.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
And was it the Irish guy from fucking, what's it called? Joe's Garage. Joe's Garage? No. What was his name, like Cormac? It was something, yeah, it was something like that. Like McLernan? Yeah, it was mad Irish. It could have been Connor, to be honest. Macintosh, it might have, yeah. It could have been Macintosh, he did have red hair. Uh, but delicious. It was the dude. I'm just naming apples.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
His name is not red delicious. That's what I know. Uh, no, it was the bartender at, uh, McCann's. Oh yeah. His name was Richie, but that's what I'm talking about. Like a nice dive bar. And that place is gone now. I know, you know, now it's like a fucking like salon or some stupid shit. No, it's a, it's a wine bar. I think. Also stupid. I went, and it was pretty cool. Okay, but also stupid.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Yeah, yeah. But I went to these places like Specs and The Brick, and you'd go, and they'd be like, what do you want? And I'd be like, whatever you got on draft. You'd get a dollar draft beer. And I remember this for a fact. I went in October, and they still had green beer from St. Patrick's Day. That's insane. Yeah, but it was home. Yeah, I mean, there is something... You're right.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Like, when you go to a... When I go to a dive bar, I want it to not be good in a way. Like, I want to get my drink, and I want the beer to taste good, but I want there to be a spider in it. Well, here's the thing, is that what a lot of people... What a lot of people are not understanding in today's society where it's like, oh, it's like a small hole in the wall restaurant.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Like what we are missing out on now is the actual hole in the wall. Yes. And everything is too polished. Right. Like there was a certain amount of just dingy, grungy dirtiness. Yes. That made things feel more human-like. Yeah. And now when you go into a dive bar, they have $40 cocktails. Can't have that. And a fucking toilet gin that is made by a Norwegian immigrant that is too expensive.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
I don't know what a toilet gin is. Bathtub gin. Excuse me. Toilet gin. Toilet wine, bathtub gin. That's bad funny. You know what I'm saying, though. What's toilet wine? Is that present? It's a real thing. Toilet wine is a real thing, and so is bathtub gin. Well, I'm not familiar with either of those. I will say, though, I agree with you because this was like a real one. This was upstate.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
They had a giant beer list. So I go up, and I'm sitting at the bar, and I'm talking to the bartender, and I'm like, oh, can I just get this? And he goes— Looks to the sides of it. On the ground, by the way. It wasn't like the taps. It wasn't the fridge behind him. He looks on the ground. He's like, I don't think we have that anymore. I'm like, oh, I don't care.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
So I did three beers that they didn't have. Not a single one. And the second one, he was like, Jess, do we have that? We just got rid of the last one. Yeah. Ordered a beer. The one that he did have. He's like, got the last one. Brings it out to me. One. When someone says that, it's not going to be good. Okay? Oh, yeah. It's the last one. You know why they call it bottom of the barrel, right? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Handed me it. It looked like he slammed it against his head. There was a giant dent in, like, the top of it. And I was like, I don't even know if I can open this, Chief. What are we doing? But... But I drank it. But you drank it and you enjoyed it. That is what is so wrong with society. Here, you know what? I often reintroduce trends.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
We've often spoke about giving me credit for reintroducing Hawaiian shirts, the reestablishment of Red Lobster. A lot of people understand the power of words on this show. So 2025 is going to be the year we get dirty. Dirty and stinky. Dirty and stinky again because, listen, hey— Big Dems. You're watching, right? We're getting political, bitch. Who? Oh, Democrats. Democrats. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
You're speaking to the Democrats. To all of them. Got it, got it. The Libs, the Dems, everyone in between. Okay. You know why you lost? Because you're appealing to not the real Americans in this country, all right? Oh, say can you see? You have lost your way. You're singing? Shut up. He's singing. You have lost your way. By the Downs Road. Oh, it's background music is what you're doing.
The Basement Yard
#485 - New Year, Same Me
Yes, it is. Do you want to do it for me? Nope. Please. You're supposed to talk. Oh, sorry. You have lost your way. This country was built off of the dirty, grimy, greasy hands of those that have come over and sought asylum. So guess what, America? Guess what, okay? Guess what, big Dems? I know you're listening, Bernie. Can you imagine that if Bernie Sanders listened to this show?
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Welcome back to the ba- Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank!
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Go grab it and put it back in your pee hole. What's up, ladies and gentlemen?
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I don't know what the heaviest coins you could think of.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
You said this is the greatest shirt you ever wore, by the way. Frank.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Come on. Yeah. No you I'm just saying we want to give all the information tongue Tongue
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
It wasn't that it was green. It was that it was like, a like pastel green.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Sure. We've already forgotten that's happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, by the way, Now that we're here again.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Come on down to Frank's Dypes. Barbecue. Is that crap? No. It's barbecue sauce. Is that a crap blowout in that diaper? No. It's just a rack of ribs.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I've seen that. Rub one? I've seen that where they put a rib in there with like a bone.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
What would be the point of it being bulletproof? I guess that would stop a Molotov cocktail.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Screw chasing my dreams. I'm going to go get them in 10 years. Bro, that's chasing your dreams.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Our religion teacher said, we're going to learn about evolution. I don't believe in it. But we're going to learn about this.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
welcome back to the basement welcome back to the basement yard you're all smiley i'm a smiley i'm a happy guy and you're in a thermal i am in a thermal keep it warm it's freezing out the weather is starting to turn i don't like it really the freezing cold weather why would i like that Well, one, I hear it's perfect for like running and like... Freezing cold weather?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Well, just like scary stuff that I'm like, I lived a life up until this point that I didn't know this existed. The world is a scary place and everything that is new is meant to kill you. So go ahead. You need to go to therapy. No, but... So I saw this video and it was this girl and she was like filming herself and it was like half her face, half the ceiling.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
No, but if there was a service where they made like strollers, but like for full adults and I can just be like, kind of like carted around. Frank, those are called cars. They're called cars. It's called calling Ubers. That's what it is. But like, I could be like laying down on my back and like in the, like on like a sidewalk and someone would just push me through like the neighborhood and
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And she was like... There was something written there. I didn't like the video because I was like, I don't want this to come back. But it was like... She was with her husband in the same room, and she's like, I can hear you upstairs. So she's hearing his voice upstairs, right? And she's freaked out, and she's using this word called mimic, and apparently that's a thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
It's like a... Like mimics. It's like a tall... Yeah, what's the... There's another name for them, but like... It's like a Slenderman type of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But... Fuck. There's another word for it. I'm going to try to think of it, but keep going. But... So she's filming, and I'm going through the comments of people like, I can hear them say this or whatever the fuck.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And he's sitting there, and he's being like, I don't hear anything. Because he...
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
she even wrote she's like my husband couldn't hear it blah blah so they're talking and you kind of hear some stuff in the background that sounds like a voice saying shit and then they eventually go upstairs well they hear a loud noise and they go upstairs and like in the middle of the room is this little like not it's like this big but it was like heavy and it looked like a fucking like birdhouse or some shit but it was like filled with stuff and they were like the cats couldn't have knocked that over and like what the hell is going on
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Skinwalkers is one of the ones that people... Maybe. That they talk about, like, mimic... They can, like, mimic sounds, and, like, they can, like, shift. Yeah, and I was just like, bro, I don't need this. Like, fucking anamorphs, you know? Now I'm gonna be listening for shit, and I just can't have that. Dude, there was one time I was... I swear to God that this happened.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
We were home, all of us, like... Your current house? Yeah, and... Fucking coming there on Friday. I know. And I'm, like, in the kitchen, and I hear... Like it was like the most clear version of it. Wait, where were you? I was like in the kitchen and the most clear version. I heard Becca go like, Hey babe, can you come here for a sec? Or something like that. That's a long sentence.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And I walk into the room where she's doing something. I'm like, yeah, what's up? And she's like, what's up? And I'm like, you called me in here. She's like, no, I didn't. And I, and I like, I like got like visibly freaked out. I was just like, you just said to come in here. And she's like, no, I did not. And I'm like, first of all, you did that to her too. She probably got freaked out.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I'll be honest. I went and I checked the rest of the house. It was like during the day. I went too. If it was at nighttime, hotel, here we come. Yeah. I'm telling you right now. I checked to make sure like all doors and windows were locked and shit like that.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Did I tell you that happens in one of my apartments? I went to the bathroom and I was getting out of the bathroom and it felt like someone was pushing on the door. Like, like preventing me from getting out. And I was like, the fuck are you doing? And I think Danny was there. So I opened the door and I'm like, what the fuck was that?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
But he was all the way in a different room, pretty far away on the computer. I was like, what are you doing? And he's like, what? And I'm like, you were just pushing the door, like preventing me from getting out. He's like, no, I wasn't. I'm like, dude, I was trying to get out of this door and someone was pushing it. Like I had it cranked trying to get out and I couldn't.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Oh no, it wasn't even going this way. I was going that way. Oh, like someone was holding it? So someone was holding it. Yeah, because the bathroom doors opened inward. And I opened it and he wasn't there. And I was like... Didn't stay there that night. I went and slept with my mom as like a child. Dude, no. I've never had like interactions like that.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
But like now if I'm home and my fucking AI system does some shit like that. No. Bye, bye, bye. You know, let me tell you that. Realistically, right? Like if it was nighttime and like everyone was asleep and you heard that. What do you even do? Waking up the whole family and getting out. Every single light. The lights. Fuck the lights. I'm diving through the door. Oh, my God. Dude, I'm serious.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
laying on the sidewalk no no no you want to be pushed through the neighborhood i want to be pushed through neighborhood so like a big stroller but like for adults jesus christ big business boy frank is back here copyright patent pending frank you think adults are going to be like hey pick me up at my house and just drive me around in a stroller not drive just push me around
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
If my Alexa was like, I'm going to kill you, I'd rather hear that than it laugh. Then just go, ha, ha, ha, ha. Frank, I'm telling you, I would throw it into the East River. Oh, you can see that's actually... It's right outside my window. It's right outside of your window. Yeah, that's pretty cool. But I'd be very scared. Nah, yeah, the laughing is way worse. Way worse.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
There are those... Fuck, I wish I could think of those. I don't know if it's way worse. My Alexa saying I'm going to kill you is crazy. Yeah, that'd be crazy. But then at least you could fight the thing. You know what I mean? If it's just laughing at you... I'm going to fight a speaker. Yeah, why not? Because I'm going to destroy the speaker.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I'm letting you know right now, if that speaker says anything to me, I'm taking a hammer and I'm having the most fun. Frank, think about this. You unplug it and you hammer it and it keeps talking. Yeah. There's a horror movie here, babe. I mean, why has someone not written this yet? I'm getting a dustpan and I'm bringing it to a blacksmith and I'm going to say, pour hot lava on it and kill it.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Because I can't have that in my house. No, yeah. Do you still have that talisman in your house that your wife has? Do you remember that? Yeah, dude. Do I remember it? Is it in your house? It is still in my house. It's time to go. I know. I have wanted to get rid of that thing so bad. Look what I found. Isn't this cool? No, it isn't. I said to her openly, I was just like, this is not cool.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Yeah, that's terrible. We almost, I told you, but we had put a bid on a house. And I was just like, yeah, the only drawback was that like, maybe like a hundred yards behind the backyard fence, there was like a cemetery. And you were like... That's the worst thing.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I remember when I went to see the house, I was just like, why are they leaving? Because apparently real estate, they have to tell you. That was a very nice house too. Legally, they have to tell you. And it was underpriced. For that area, they were really like... You know, like selling it for like cheap. Oh my God, there's zombies in there. And I said to them, because Becca went to real estate.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
She got her license. And she told me, she's like, legally, they have to tell you if someone believes it's haunted or like if a murder was committed in the house or something like that. Ask you a question. No. Actually, let me get to the first round of ads.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Okay, I'm scared now. But it has to do with a house and like what you just said. Oh boy, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. It's not like a scary question. Don't worry. But we do have some ads for today. The first one being Rocket Money. Rocket Money, that's an all-in-one personal finance app that's going to put money back in your pocket. How are they going to do that? Great question.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Okay, they're going to find and cancel unwanted subscriptions that you may have signed up for in the past. either on purpose or by mistake. You didn't know that it was going to last this long or something that you've used for a little bit, but you haven't used it in like six months and you've just been paying for it for no reason.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
So it'll find and cancel those and put the money back in your pocket. It happens all the time. A lot of people use Rocket Money and on average, they're saving $740 a year when using all of the app's features, okay? And they have over 5 million users and have saved over $500 million in canceled subscriptions. So we're all doing it.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
We're all making some mistakes, and we can all put some more money back in our pocket. And on average, $740 when you use all the app's features. I'd rather have $740 than to throw it away. But yeah, so go check it out. It also has a feature that monitors your spending, and it helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
So it's all about trying to put the money back in your pocket and being more financially responsible so you can stop wasting your money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com. slash basement. That is rocketmoney.com slash basement. Put that money back in your pocket, folks. That's rocketmoney.com slash basement. We also have Liquid IV.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And you can make it like a taxi thing. Are you describing like wheelchairs? Well, wheelchairs come with some form of injury or disability or something like that. I'm saying like I sign up for a service. You meet me at the base of my office building. And I just get in this big... You're doing this on a lunch break? Yeah, or from my building to the train station.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Big fan of Liquid IV. They've been with the show for a while now. Liquid IV, it's basically these packets that you can open up and you put it in a glass of water. It's going to help hydrate you. They have uh, a bunch of electrolytes, essential vitamins, and clinically tested nutrients, uh, that turn ordinary water into extraordinary hydration and not for nothing, but they taste delicious.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
So on days that, uh, I'll be, if I'm going for a long run, then I'll probably take one before, or I'll take it after, um, or during actually I've done that as well. But yeah, you want to get those electrolytes back in your body and you want to have, uh, you know, everything else that they have in here. Like I said, they have the vitamins as well.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
They have three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drinks, eight essential vitamins and nutrients. But yeah, it's great. And they taste amazing. Every single flavor I've had is great. I'm really I for the first time I just tried their white peach, which is sugar free. And that one's really good. So I like that a lot, too. That's the one I'm on right now. But yeah, go check them out.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use the code BASEMENT at checkout, okay? That is 20% off of your first order when you shop Better Hydration today and use the promo code BASEMENT at checkout. liquidiv.com. Go get it. Yeah, and you know what? If you're thirsty, not only for some hydration, but for some more of us, go to patreon.com slash thebasemanyard.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
That's patreon.com slash thebasemanyard. You could sign up today and join the tens of thousands of people that are continuing to support us, and we really, really appreciate it. The holiday season, it's upon us. It is here. It is unfurled, and it is a big, beautiful red and green and blue and white and a bunch of colors. all over the place. So go check it out. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Give TheBasementYard a fan in your life, the gift of Patreon. And you sign up today, you get that first tier, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. That second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So realistically, Monday, Friday, the boys are in your life the whole time. You know what I'm saying? So thank you guys.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I know Joey teased this on some Patreon episodes about what's coming next for some stuff, but there's some stuff coming. And you're going to want to keep an eye out on it. So check it out. Patreon.com. Thank you so much. Tell me about this house. Is it haunty? No. Haunty? Is it a haunty house? Is it haunty? Anytime I hear that, like, TikTok noise where it's just like, I'm like, oh, no. Yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Something spooky is upon us. I don't like that. Yeah. I also don't like the deep sea one we've talked about. Yo-ho. Yeah, because it's like you're going to see fucking Cthulhu or, like, a giant, you know, like, snake. Yeah, I don't like that at fucking all. What's this house? What's this house? So then I was going to ask you a question. Like if you found a house and you're like, this is amazing.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
It's in our price point. We have it, blah, blah, blah. And you basically can get it. But eight years ago, someone was killed in a murder. Would you take it? That's so tough. Yeah. And it's not like a guest room murder. It's like it started in the master and it ended in the living room. In every house? No, no, no. I mean, in every room in the house? No, no, no. Just the two main ones.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
That's really tough. I think personally, probably not. Really? Yeah, I think just because, like, I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it. Like, it would fuck me up, you know? And, like, I've seen too much of, like, Amityville horror and shit like that where it's just like, it's in the walls! The walls are bleeding! Well, no, it's not... It's not haunted.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Like, you don't... Like, you won't experience hauntings. Yeah, but, like, the idea that something, like... so wickedly evil happened in this place right here. Wickedly talented. I would also need to know, I'll be honest with you. I would have to know about the murder.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Like I would be more inclined to take it if it was just like someone tried breaking in and the patriarch of the family like killed the guy right here. No, no, no. The people who own the house were killed there. That would be like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I couldn't, I couldn't do it. And honestly, they should have torn that fucking place down.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And I lay down, you bundle me up, you tuck me into a blanket, and you just wheel me to the train station. And then I get out, get on the train, and I get home. I love how you're trying to say that last part so it just makes the whole thing sound more normal. It's like, and then I just get home, I go to work. Tell me a service that basically treats you like a giant baby wouldn't be kind of cool.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Like there was a, there's a really famous, um, that's kind of a weird way to put it, but like a true crime thing that happened in a place called Cheshire, Connecticut, where they were called like the Cheshire home invasions or something like that. It's, it's really fucked up.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
But like, since I went to school in Connecticut and there's a criminal justice school, we had heard about this thing a thousand times. And, um, I would hope that that house or whatever that place was, was just tore down so no one could go back in it.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
But if it were like the person was defending their home and they killed an invader, an invader, an alien, and then, you know, someone, I guess that's technically a burglar. Yeah. Then I'd be more inclined to think about it. But if it were like something fucking sad and grisly and just, I wouldn't be able to do it. Do they have to disclose that? If you ask, I'm sure they do.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I don't know about everywhere because obviously each state and maybe even counties have different regulations on real estate, what you have to disclose and shit like that. But when you think about it... I would fucking hope so. But when you think about it, someone at some point in the history of Earth probably died on your doorstep.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
on my doorstep or like in where my house now sits yeah like you know what I mean yeah that's different but like you're not gonna wanna like if you find out like the movie Poltergeist The whole thing with the poltergeist, that movie is like, isn't the house built on a Native American burial ground? Oh, shit like that. You're not going to want that.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Sure, an animal or maybe even a person died where my house currently sits. But that doesn't mean within the confines of my home. Yeah. Like, okay, fresh example. The... Menendez brothers. Talking about dead bodies and dead people and then saying fresh doesn't make you beat the allegations. But like which allegations? Just like all you like weird lizard people, Illuminati rich people.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Yeah, that's what I am. But like that house, someone lives there. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. But that's different because that's like a world famous. But that's even more like everyone knows that people died here. Yeah. I mean, people live in like I think people live in the Amityville house now, too.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Can you just tear down a house because someone died in it or got murdered? I mean, I think you can tear down a house if you wanted to. All right. If you want to. But it's like not like I don't know. I think you can. I think I... When someone asked me that recently, and I can't remember what the context of the conversation was, but in my head, I'm like... My gut reaction is to say no.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Like I wouldn't take the house. But then I'd feel like... I'll probably forget pretty quickly. I will never forget. Why? Dude. You're going to put a market X down? Be really honest.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
But you could just get driven around in a car. Yeah, but a lot of people get motion sickness in cars. A lot of people don't like, you know, like there's a sense of, you know, like you don't feel safe. But you would feel more safe if someone was pushing you in a giant stroller. Yeah, kind of. Yeah. You're going to tell me that doesn't sound sick? What about, what's the, rig, rig, rig, rig saw?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Well, you watch TV and fall asleep watching TV, right? Yeah. I don't. I shut everything off and I sit there and I have my own thoughts and fall asleep that way. Okay. Everything that I've done in my entire life comes back into my head in those moments. You're going to tell me, and obviously I'm... You're haunting yourself.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I'm exaggerating for the sake of the story, but like, you're telling me that like... You wouldn't think about the fact that someone was murdered. If they told Joey, get the fuck out of here. You are fucking no way. If you bought a house and they said, see this spot right here? Someone was murdered right here. You would think about it every time you walked by it, bitch. And I know you.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
You absolutely would. I would, I would think about it more if it was like creepy stuff would happen. I walked by and it was like a cold breeze. Or, or because of something like that, you would just start giving, you know, like just not even justification, but like answers to things that just like strange things that happened by coincidence.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
What if, what if I like, I know you, you'll renovate the room. What about that? Doesn't matter, babe. You tear up the floor. This is the whole thing about the ship of Theseus, man. You could take away the boards, but it's still a ship, right? But you said you would knock it down and build on it. Yeah, but build a brand new. You're saying renovate. You want to build the whole thing? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
What about renovate that room where they happened? Like, get rid of the old... No, because it still happened in those walls. Those walls will speak to you. No, you can knock the walls. Yeah. The studs that are there, Joey. So the murder happened in the studs of the house. The studs see everything. We gotta get new studs now. I mean, I imagine, like, personally, that's how I would think.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And, you know, I'm a weirdo with that shit. I'd be like, the nails are the same nails that were in the floor. The stringers are the same. You know, like, I would think all that shit. Yeah, bitch. And you would too. And if you even for a single second try to think it... Because you know what would happen? I could be swayed. I don't think so. I really could.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
You'd be in your living room and a bird would fly into the window and you'd be like, we got to go. We got to get out of here right now. It's the murder. Well, I, it would, but here's the thing. If it was like someone broke into this house and the guy stabbed the fucking whatever. Like if it was something like that, I think I definitely would, would not be upset. Not, uh, it would suck.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Cause it's, but like it would suck. It would definitely suck. But if it was something like someone was trying to rob the house and someone came down and there was a struggle and someone was stabbed and they died.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
But also if that happened in like the 70s, I'd be like, all right, you're nuts. No way.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
By the way, hold on. Josh, go through and every time we said anything, just put unalive. All right, thanks. No, it's a wrap now. Can you repeat yourself? Because I wasn't listening to you. Was that an actual note that you're giving Josh? No, obviously not.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
No, if there was a murder that happened, and then afterwards a family at some point lived there, and they lived there from 1984 until 2024, and then you're taking that house from these people who lived there for that long and nothing happened. Yeah, I'd be freaked out. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm taking it. You're crazy. Especially after that. All right, I'm going to ask you a question.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Rig saw? Rig saws? What the hell is that? Rig saws? Hack saws? What's it? What are you talking about? The ones where it's like you sit in the back and I pedal my bike. Rickshaw? Rickshaw? I have no... Rickshaw. I have no idea what you're saying. I have never heard the word that you're even trying to pull out. Like the dudes who... By Central Park, it's like, yo, get in the back.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I'm going to ask you a question. Okay. Okay. So does the level of crime dictate if you take that place or not? The level of crime? Yeah, like how heinous it is. Because murder is considered like one of the worst crimes you can commit. Okay. Let me ask you a question. Real quick question. Yeah. Someone comes over to you and they say, listen, we have this really beautiful house.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
We'll give it to you for a really discounted price. It's in a really nice part of Florida. A lot of really wealthy people live in this area. Super reduced price. Normally it would go for $15 million. We'll give it to you for $2 million. Maybe was owned by a New York financier. And there's some stuff that happened here. No. No? No. Oh, interesting. How is that interesting? That's so different.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
No, it's not different. Of course it's different.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
If I go home right now. Probably shouldn't use this example. What are you about to say?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Yeah, but you're speaking about the time that has elapsed since said crime, no matter the severity of it. That crime. No, I'm not saying the severity. Of course that's insane. Yeah, okay. I'm not staying at a place like that. But it definitely matters the severity. If there was this brutal, crazy killing that happened, that would really deter me. But if it was like... But it happened 80 years ago.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Now it's completely... Really? If it was like a double murder homicide... Crazy. Like thing. Crazy, dude. But it was like 80 years ago... Crazy. Bro, you're probably living in a house now that someone was killed in at some point. People have died in that house. No, Joey. Old people die? Yeah, but my house was built in like 67. It's not that old. You don't think someone's died in that house?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Someone died in my dad's apartment. So, there you go. And he got rid of the chair that they died in. That's an easy one.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Yeah, that would be bad, right? Imagine they died in this bed, but we flip the mattress. We just... We don't like to look at the other side. Oh, I hate that when you see forensic files and they show you they've cleaned up the house, but there's still clearly... You see the spot. Can you explain to me how a mattress gets to looking like a mattress?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Like, at the end of a mattress's life, what's on there? What is that? Sweat. But, like, how? I've got a cover and sheet. Yeah, and guess what they're all made of, Joey? Claw. Yeah, baby. Guess what is it? Wildly absorbent. But I'm not... Frank, there's a fucking big brown thing like this. How am I sweating like that? Sometimes you sweat like that. You might not realize it.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I hear that like cold air is better for a person than warm air. Yeah, that's what I've heard. I don't know if it's healthier. I just don't like it. And you also love being bundled up like a little baby boy. So like... I do like being swaddled. Let me ask you something. Seriously. Go. If there was a service... Let's say it's run by like the dude that plays the mountain from Game of Thrones.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
It also could be from just 30 years of oil and lovemaking. Love. You know, lovemaking could be a very sweaty... That's true. Wet. Yeah. Disgusting. Yeah! Just absolutely drenched. Yeah! Yeah!
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And they pedal with the bike. I know what you're referencing. That's called a Rickshaw. Rickshaw. I mean... That's a stupid word, I imagine.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Did I get a head wound in the middle of the night? Did I bleed all over this thing? You're going to make fun of me. I still have a pillow from when I was a teenager. That is disgusting.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
It's probably bronze. It's not gold. I will tell you that. You're going to make fun of me for this, but one of my prized possessions in college was I had a pillow from when my parents were still together. And it was an old down pillow. And I was, look at me, look at me in the eyes. What? I was heartbroken when this thing finally broke. Heartbroken. I'm sorry for laughing.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I know you're laughing at it. Heartbroken when this thing broke. Yeah, dude. Because you were like, this pillow. It meant a lot to me.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
it did and you still have a pillow from when you're i still have a pillow from when i was a kid yeah and i still have a pillowcase from when i was a kid is it still on it no no do you use it i used the pillow not the pillow you use the pillow uh but we like cycle pillows in and out right now i'm using like one to help me with my back and my neck because that's and my pussy and my crack right uh because my shit is all fucked up right but uh yeah but you still have this old pillow
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
No, but I want to be laying down and tucked into a blanket and cozy and looking up.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I do. Just because you can't let go. It's my pillow. Yeah. I've had it for so long. You have attachments to pillows. I have attachments to everything.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Yeah, but it's not an easy process. I'll tell you that real quick. I was, and Becca doesn't even know this. What about underwear, socks? No, I've held on to a lot of those too, babe. How do you have attachment to socks? Because I remember where I bought them, when I bought them, the phase of my life in which I bought them, how many times I've worn them.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
She said it's special to me. I didn't tell Becca this. She's actually, if she's watching, well, once she watches it, she's finding out for the first time. Throwing out the kids, like, so we had, like, the same mattress for, like, the crib that Miles, or Miles didn't use it, but Ruby and Maeve used. Mm-hmm. I teared up looking at that mattress getting thrown out. I get tearing up because of that.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
So is he driving a bike? A taxi service. No, they're pushing me like I'm a baby. But you don't even push babies laying down. Yes, they do. There are some strollers that are bassinet style where the baby lays down.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
You're upset because you're throwing out a physical mattress though. Because you want to keep the mattress. But because of what it means. But... Yeah, you have living examples. You want to know a secret too? She doesn't know this one. You stole the mattress.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
You took it out of the trash and took it to your car. The mattress is gone. The mattress is gone. I sleep on it in my car. I'll tell you this. There are days when I get home and Becca will have like a big garbage bag of like donations of like stuffed animals and stuff like that. And I'm like, what's in here?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
yeah yeah she's like don't go through it it's nothing i promise it's just like little like extraneous things that like they've never like loved or seen or anything i was like sure about that yeah she doesn't know this one but when we lived the first time we lived first time we lived together when we moved in together um shortly thereafter for like our wedding registry we had gotten a wooden cutting board okay and when she's like she wanted to throw it out i was just like this was like our cutting board we'd cook on miles was a baby we would cook on this so funny
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
She's like, bring it out and put it in the garbage. And I'm like, all right. I brought it out. I didn't put it in the garbage. Where did you put it? I hid it. And I want to say where it is because she's going to find it. It's in your house. It's somewhere. You have an attachment to a cutting board.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Because certain things are not as special as other things. You know what I mean? Like the older. You're not throwing anything up. You have a cutting board and socks. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Certain things. Like if I have like 30 pairs of the same socks. Yeah. I'll get rid of 29 of them. Because then that one I remember. You have a rep. You don't even know about what I have.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I have all my old, like I have a bunch of like high school clothes and socks and stuff in storage. Yeah, you said you're going to hand them down.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
He's going to be like, I don't want to wear this. I have a whole like storage bin of just socks. No, you don't. You have a storage bin of old socks? Frank. Yeah. That's a problem. No, it isn't. It's not necessary. It isn't not a problem. But who are they for? Whoever wants them eventually one day.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Because their dad wore them. That's so cute. But they're not going to want to wear them. I have a pair of socks. I have underwear from middle school. If my dad was like, I wore these when I was a little boy, you should wear them. I'm like, Dad, I'd rather wear anything else. I have a pair of boxers from middle school.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
They're very small. Yeah. Like the Wizard of Oz type of shit. Sure, but they can have certain strollers have a thing on them that you can turn them so they're completely horizontal, perpendicular to the ground. So you want to just take a nap while being outside. Yeah. But like being pushed around and then just like kind of just like doze off a little bit. Just you're overcomplicating this.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Yeah, I have socks from high school. I have my old jockstrap from high school football. Dude, I'm not kidding when I say this, and I'm really not trying to be funny, but I am... Now terrified of the day that one of your children goes to college. I can't imagine what that's going to be like for you. I'm going to tell you exactly what it's going to be like. I'm going to have to be there to help.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Did you see? We talked about it. I think it was a Patreon episode.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Joey, did you see the blubbering mess of an idiot I was at the wedding? Yeah. I was crying too. But no, no, no. I know. But like, I was just with my family this weekend and like, it was a joke, not a joke, but it was just like, damn. Yeah. You were like, that's so fun. Emotional. It is not going to be fun. Yeah. No, dude, there was one day. I don't think I've told this story.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I don't think I've told this story. There was a day where, um, we couldn't find Ruby. You told me. You told me. Did I tell you what happened at night? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which one? Where you, like, found out everything was fine, and then you, like, cried or something. We went home that night. For anyone that has not heard this story, we couldn't find her because she was hiding at my in-law's house.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And, like, we called the cops. Like, I went running around the neighborhood. The heartbreak that I had in my, like, prepared. And we found her. She was either playing hide-and-seek or she had fallen asleep. Whatever. Whatever. I read the book The Giving Tree to her that night. Just a fucking drenched face of a fucking pussy. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just weeping. I wouldn't even—I can't even.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Weeping. I'm not going to choose not to think about this. Dude, I can't even, like— Oh, my God. Yeah, it was—but— Yes. The same about getting rid of my socks from high school.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Actually, I'll tell you after we have a little more advertising to go here. What is this episode, by the way? I have no idea. I was just thinking about what we're going to name it, and that's out the window. No idea. Okay. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy, okay?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
So if you are having a hard time throwing out old stuff in your house or something like that, and you think that you could... You could benefit from some therapy. You can do so with BetterHelp. You could dip your toe into the world of therapy with BetterHelp because it's catered to you and it's customizable. So you can talk to people on text or the phone call and whatever frequency if you want.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
If you want to do it once a week, twice, not twice a week, but maybe twice a week, I don't know. But if you want to do it every other week or once a month or something like that, you can do so with BetterHelp. They make it a very easy experience. They also get the onboarding very quickly. You can start talking to a therapist in just 48 hours.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Um, and also make it easy to find the right fit for you. You shouldn't just talk to the first therapist you talk to because they're the first, you should find the one that you feel like you vibe with and they make it easy to kind of like jump from each one to each one so that you could find the right fit for you.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Um, but yeah, I've been in therapy for years and I think that it's like very helpful and I think everyone should be in it. Honestly, I think in, you know, you can benefit from it in ways that you don't even know exist to be honest. At least that's been my experience. So, Uh, yeah, but you can visit betterhelp.com slash basement yard today and you will get 10% off of your first month. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
That is betterhelp.com slash basement yard. And you will get 10% off of that first month. So save you some money there because I also know that therapy can be very expensive. So, uh, better help is, you know, more affordable than a lot of in-person therapy. And, uh, yeah, save that 10% off your first month, betterhelp.com slash basement yard. And lastly, here we have HelloFresh.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
The way I've described this. You could just take a nap. The way that I have described this is perfect. A giant stroller for big adults. Right. You know? Well, the answer is it doesn't exist. So go ahead. Open up your business and we'll see. I'm just saying. I will not be investing. I didn't ask for your money, bitch. Good.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
HelloFresh is great. You get farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. It's a great way to keep your kitchen sort of fresh, the things that you're cooking.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I don't know about everyone else, but I usually kind of, when I'm like, all right, I'm going to cook something, there's like maybe four things that I usually cook and I usually just pick one of those. So it's hard to come up with new recipes that seem interesting or whatever, but
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
HelloFresh is cool for that reason because you go on their website, the menus are always changing, and you can find seasonal recipes as well. So you're like, oh, this is cool, whatever, and then you're like, I want to make that, that, and that.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
They'll send you the ingredients, all pre-portioned, so nothing goes to waste, and you don't have to now have a giant pot of whatever sitting in your fridge or anything. It's all pre-portioned. Um, and you make it and yeah, you have a nice little meal there. You can put it on Instagram and be like, look, I'm a chef now. So there you go.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Uh, and right now you can get 10 free meals at hellofresh.com slash free basement applied across seven boxes. Uh, new subscribers only varies by plan, but that's 10 free HelloFresh meals. Uh, just go to hellofresh.com slash free basement. Okay. So HelloFresh.com slash free basement. 10 free meals across seven boxes. All right. Free food. That's what we're talking about here.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
So go to HelloFresh.com slash free basement and get those 10 free meals and enjoy. That was very good. You're a good reader of ads.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
What were you talking about? We were all over the place, baby. Dude. What'd you say? What'd you say? I wanted to say it. Oh, no. You were saying something. I don't know, about being a blubbering idiot, crying because of my kids and life. Yeah. It's good. It's fun. Dude, wait till you have kids. I made myself cry the other day. Oh, I love crying. Speaking of almost crying, we got a new update.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
A new Costco Guys update. That's right, baby. That's right. This is now just a Costco podcast. We now have a whole segment of the show just about the Costco guys. At the hot sauce event, they played the song. Over the speakers? Over the speakers. Really? I was talking to someone.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And like, cause there was our, our fans were there and I was talking to someone and then I was like, I can't believe this song is playing. And they looked at me like, what song is this? And I was like, I'm not even gonna try to explain. They were just, they're just, it's just, boom. Really? That's what, yeah. The song was playing in the brewery. Quick update.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
He had a wrestling match on a major pay-per-view. I saw it. On the opening for a major pay-per-view. Guy can go, dude. Big Justice speared the shit out of somebody. Speared the dog shit out of QT Marshall. Marshall, whatever. QT? QT. Q-T. You like QT? Sure, but I don't think anyone's calling him QT.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Maybe a repost or two might be nice, you know, but like a service where like people just sign up. I come because you're going to tell me, I know you don't have kids of your own yet, but you're going to tell me you haven't seen a baby in a shoulder and just be like, damn, that looks like that is so sick.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And then fucking big power bomb from Big Boom AJ. Yeah. And I just found out he broke his foot during the match, and he finished the match with a broken foot. Wow. Guy's got it, dude. He's committed. Kind of crazy, right? Shout out. I'm just saying, the fact that we haven't been invited to be in wrestling— What are you talking about? Just like, dude, we could do it, right?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Frank, I don't want to get power bombed. I would love to get power bombed. Just learn how to take that bump, you know? That'd be sick. You want to get power bombed on national television? That'd be kind of cool. I'll get like fucking, what's it called? Clotheslined. People like us, you know? Do you ever see Steve-O and Chris Pontius getting the dog shit beat out of them by Umaga? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
So Steve-O told this story later, and he was just like...
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
he was fucking me up he was very mad at us because we laughed at him after he we were supposed to be like selling that we were hurt yeah but listen new revamp new new santa carol studio stuff maybe we go i've been pitching going to wrestling school for how long now 10 years for a while right you're gonna tell me people don't want to see you and i get in the squared circle and wrestle a match
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
It would be cool to pop up at WrestleMania and just interfere with a match real quick. I mean, that's too big for us. They reserve that for Jason Kelsey and stuff. Rob Gronkowski. Did you see the dude yelling at Jason Kelsey, the adult autograph seeker, Frank? That video fired me up beyond belief because he eventually walked over and signed the autograph for me. Crazy.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I would have took in the thing and cut it in half and then gave it back to him. Oh, yeah. That guy's a fucking piece of shit. Dude. And it's like, apparently that's like a thing because like adult autograph seekers, like they're not, it's not for them. They go to sell it. Of course. A lot of wrestlers speak about this where like people will like show up.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
to like the airport with just like a bullet like a big oak tag oak tags are back fire big oak tags of like 30 pictures and asked them to sign each of them and it's like you clearly are going to sell these yeah you know but uh yeah i saw that the kelsey one i was i thought that was crazy the guy was screaming at him and then all of a sudden he started saying like
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
that some of his family members died or something. And it's like, what are you even saying here? Yeah. What does this have to do with anything? I don't want to sit here and pick apart the legitimacy of it, but the way that this person— Who cares about the legitimacy if it has nothing to do with what's going on? But he stalked him and jumped a fence and shit like that, right?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I don't think about that, but sometimes I do think when I see a child in a stroller and I go, he's too old to be in that thing. Okay. You ever see that? But you're only saying that because you're like one of those, he needs to get up, he needs to rub dirt on his face, and he needs to get a couple scrapes on his hands. No, I'm looking at it and being like, think that kid's nine.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Listen— I really don't want that to ever happen to me, and it's never happened. And honestly, I also want to just say that we just had a hot sauce event at Brooklyn Brewery, and a bunch of fans came, and they were all incredibly nice. And our family and friends were there, and they weren't like... weird towards them or anything. Cause like your kids were there.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Greg's kid was there and is like, you know, nephew and shit. And like, there was no like whatever. So, but you hear horror stories about people being so strange with people's families, but everyone was like very respectful of that whole thing. And it was cool.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
But he just had that thing happen where he spiked that kid's phone. Yeah. So he's like, I have to go over. Yeah, now I have to be the nice person here. And it's the classic millennial way of trauma dumping in order to get people to feel bad for you so you give them exactly what you want.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Oh, my God. You haven't seen, like, people, like, it's like a thing that, like, millennials just, like, they'll just, they'll be like, hey, what's your name? And they'll just be like, well, I have depression. Well, and it's like, you're a fucking, you know, like, all right. But, yeah, no, we were saying the same thing.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Beck and I, we were like, because we were, you saw, we were chasing around the kids. And, like, people were... Very kindly giving us our space. There was one woman that I'm not... I'll tell you about it offline. Same situation. Stop fucking following... People forget that this person is also just trying to be a normal person and live a normal life.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
In what world do you think following someone and stalking them is going to... It's so weird. And it's not like... You know, you see movies where it's just like, Sir, I followed you for eight blocks so you could take my resume. And it's like, I like your moxie. Show up tomorrow at 8 a.m. That's not the real world, dude. Stop following people. But also, like, I don't know, man.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And also I hate the thing of like the guy screaming crazy shit at Jason Kelsey and being mad disrespectful and then him coming over. And now because he's signing it, now you're apologizing or now you're, you're like saying nice shit. And it's like, bro, you don't get to be both people. Yeah. You know what I mean? You're the asshole on the fence screaming at me. You're not sorry that you did it.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
You're sorry that you got... Like, now you look like an idiot because you basically threw a fucking tantrum. It's crazy, man. Oh, my God. It's so wild. And, like, that is so terrifying because more than anything, I value that normalcy in my life.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Of, like... I'm cool with I'm definitely cool with people like recognizing me and saying hi. And if you want a picture like that's totally fine. The second it becomes like people are following you are following you like in cars or they're like. trying to find out intricate details of your life and whatever. And it's like, bro, I don't know you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Listen, I think if you could fit in a stroller and you want to get pushed around a little bit, go for it. Absolutely. It does get weird when it's like you're now. I mean, I know you're trying to set up a service where you can get in a stroller as a human. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. That sounds great.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I think we have been very, very lucky. I've never had an issue with that. Same. And I will be honest, if I start having an issue, I'll start throwing fucking fists. Joey knows me. I will start calling people out if they're being assholes. Yeah. I don't know. I've never had that happen, which is fine.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And I, everyone that we've interacted with, I feel like has been super normal with the exception of a few, but like that'll happen, but nothing to the point where I felt like someone's stalking me or someone's like doing this and whatever, or like trying stalking my mother.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
or something and like stop it like bro you're crossing a crazy line here yeah well i think it's because we are and both times the funniest people on the internet the nicest people on the internet um yeah we're very humble oh well yeah you are you are very humble we are very yeah you are um uh so you know coming from the person that puts his name on everything yeah uh well
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
If we had to name the podcast today, what would we name it? I can't think of a more perfect name than The Basement Yard. I really can't. I didn't even come up with it either. Once your shoulder goes up, I know it's a bad idea. Maybe you could just save that one. Just two lifelong buddies talking. Two lifelong buddies talking? Two lifelong buddies talking. Yeah. The lifelong boys.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
See, that's the worst part about this podcast, too, is, like, one, even if, like, you can't explain this show to anybody, obviously. Nobody. We don't make it easy for the people who watch, too, to be like, oh, you have any recommendations? We know. We thank you for trying. We know the hand that we have dealt.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I imagine people be like you have any recommendations for podcasts and it's like oh go listen to the bass mirror and say Oh, what's it about? It's like you got me, you know, I have no idea.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I have no idea what it's about It's that thing where like you watch something that's just so crazy and you don't know how to describe it So you're just like it's you know, honestly, it might not be for you, you know, like it's just it's so out there Do you think we have one of those shows where it's like I want to recommend this but I don't think that I I'll be honest I think
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
There are people out there that are crapping in their diapers and letting fucking their adult, you know, significant others clean them up. In the comfort of their own home. Weird. It's, I mean, it's weird to you. You're going to tell me if someone took your bed. My bed. You like your bed. Yes. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I would love to see what, when people do recommend our show, what episodes they say to like start off with, because there are some that are pretty standard. And then there are others that are so fucking unhinged. Yeah. Like we had a whole episode just talking corn and not like, you know, like, you know, the, the, the, the corn, the good corn or the bad corn. I guess it depends which is good.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
It depends on what side you sit. I would say the bad corn. Others would say the good. But you know what I'm saying? So I wonder, anytime someone that I meet that doesn't know when they ask me about... First of all, I don't like saying what I do because I feel like immediately people are judgmental. Do you lie? I don't lie. I'm very... I say, oh, I'm in the entertainment world.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Frank, you're inviting a question. No, I'm not. I don't think I'm inviting it.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Are you an actor? Most people just say like, okay, cool. Others will be like, oh, like what? And then I'm just like, oh, like podcasting. Like, okay, sometimes it stops there. There are the 1% that they get. What's the show about? What is it? What's it called? And then I always have to say like, it might not be. I don't know what your taste is.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
yeah you know that's mad yeah yeah i don't even remember what i say i kind of change it up every time and then there are the other people that are just like i don't you're not my thing i don't find you funny yeah but like so and so does cool dude Really cool. Thanks for that. I don't really respect you.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
But someone does and good for you. There was a story recently that I told you because I told you when it happened of someone coming up to me and just being like, I don't like your show. I don't get it. Yeah. But like... Cool for you guys, I guess. And I was just like, okay. Thank you.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And then they were like, I don't like mainstream stuff. That's why I like Tim Dillon. And I was just like, hey, brother.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
What are the biggest podcasts on the planet? I would say. But, yeah, I guess that's all for this week's episode of The Basement Yard. We appreciate all you guys, for sure. Or that's all for this week's episode of two lifelong buds talking and hanging. Right. And thank God I named the show before you got here.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Because that would have taken all day. Yeah, that wouldn't have been good. But you guys can find me at falvers885 on Twitter. The Frank Alvarez on all other forms of social media. And then the Patreon, patreon.com slash the basement yard. Join, give the gift to Patreon. It's the holiday season. The eight days of Halloween are coming up. So maybe, you know, give it out to somebody there.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Someone took your bed, put it on wheels, and said, I'm going to wheel you through Central Park, and you can just lay here comfy and cozy. I feel strange. Come on.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And yeah, thank you guys. Yeah, you guys can go follow me at Joe Santagato. Go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
First of all, fine. You don't need to be falling asleep, but you can just be laying down, taking in the sights from your back. I could go for a leisurely stroll, too. Joey, come on. Oh, no, that wouldn't work. Oh, yeah. Well, thank God, because whatever you were excited about, I was ready to say. Frank, please. I was going to be. It was going to be basically my same idea, but it's a massage chair.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Okay. You know what you should do? Type all these things in and then see what you get back. Because now that we have all the AI and everything, you'll find out, is this a good idea? Is it already invented? Well, we got to be careful. We got to be careful because AI has been up to some shit lately. It's taking our jerbs. Our jobs. Not our jobs. Well, actually, they might come for our jobs.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And he's like, I will wrap you up like blanket boy and I will carry you for one mile. Okay. I don't know what accent you're doing. I don't know either. Two, you think I'm going to let a gigantic man carry me?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
You saw those AI podcasters? I did see that, but we barely have jobs. We barely have jobs. Yeah. We or me? Yeah. Yeah. You do a lot more than I do. But, no, the AI, like, it's starting to make the turn. It's starting to get into, like. They're killing? They're killing? They're trying. AI's killing? You didn't hear about the AI bot that told the kid to, like, kill himself? Unalive himself?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
There goes the monetization. Yeah, there we go.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Wait, what? Get them all out of the way now. Porn. Yeah, right. You know? Wait, hold on. Tee. AI told a person to... A student, a young man. A student? Yeah. I don't know if it was a man, but a student-aged child. What did they say? What did they say? Was it like up for debate? So this kid... All right.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
So you know how like now when you Google something, sometimes AI... It'll give you like an answer. Yes. Yes. I will say I love that feature. I know. It's helped me a lot. People have proven that it's not that accurate because they've done like... You saw the thing where it's like how many R's are in the word strawberry? Yeah. No. There was someone, I think they asked like ChatGPT.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Yes, but ChatGPT like insisted it was only two. And there are ways, obviously, that you could break it. You don't need to rely on these things. It's like Wikipedia. It doesn't mean just because it's there and they're telling it to you doesn't mean it's all factual. But the one that people Google so that someone was Googling something to get like information on a paper.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
So I'm going to read to you what the kid said that he was Googling. He's like, I was asking questions about how to prevent elder abuse. um hold on wait what i was asking questions about how to prevent elder abuse and how we can help the elderly this person told the walsh uh some i don't know what news article it was um but nothing that i said would have warranted the response that i got
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
So this is what AI... So he was asking, like, yo, how do we stop elderly people from being abused? Like, clearly, like, looking to get sources. Like, I know, jokes aside, like, you never went to, like, high-level college writing classes where you had to, like, really go through, like, APA format and, like, look up, like, sources and all that shit. But...
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
This is what the, after I guess going back and forth, I don't know what the full exchange was, but, oh yeah, the person was 29. It's happened to you. So not a child, but you know, a student in some capacity. Student at 29, geez. Says, this is for you, human. You and only you. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I love how they're like trying to like not get canceled. AI is just like, this is for you.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Only you. You and only you. Google said this to them? The Google AI, I believe. I don't want to say the name of it. Allegedly. Wait, what? Just be careful. Google might come for us. What do you not want to say? The name of the Google. I think it's called Gemini. Oh, the machine thing. It's like the Google AI service that they have. This is for you, human. You and only you. You are not special.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
No, really? Frank, that's an insane thing. Well, but like, if you could just be like, like, here, I gotta be honest with you.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
You are not important. And you are not needed. What? You are a waste of time and resources.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Hey, I want to try to help the elderly. He's like, you let them die. You suck your waste. Wow. You are a burden on society. You are a drain on the earth. You are a blight on the landscape. Gotta say, this AI is way too many examples. You are a stain on the universe.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Yo, I can't even imagine how I'd react to reading that. Yo, this... First of all, this AI just absolutely, like, eviscerated this guy. You are a stain on the universe. You are a play... A blight on the landscape. It's like, yo, chill out. What is a blight again? It's like a... Like a... Blemish. I love those context clues that you used there, Joey. No, but I've heard that.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
A plant disease, a deteriorated condition, meant to spoil something. Okay. You are a blight on the landscape. You are a disease on the beautiful landscape that is life. That is... That's hysterical. A diss. Dude, this AI system just absolutely diced, cooked, ate, and shat out this kid. And I don't want to victim blame... Who is this guy? Why is it saying that to him?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
That's the other thing is we don't know what he put in there where he was just like, how to save the elderly by giving them arsenic. Yeah, like – Maybe the AI – Should we just kill the elderly? Yeah, maybe the AI was like trying to do something here. That's terrifying. Yeah, he had been quoted as saying like – Hold on, I'm going to pull up. Bro. I was freaked out. My heart was racing.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
You're gonna have to follow my logic here, because it might take you on some windy turns, you know, over the river and through the woods to Frank's delusions we go. Yeah. I am not on board with this whole like people, grown people acting like babies, crapping diapers and like being taken care of by their significant other. You're not into it or you don't support it? I'm not into it. Got it.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I wanted to throw out all my devices. And I hadn't felt panic like that in a long time. I guess that is very terrifying to be like, oh my God, are my fucking devices talking to me now? Dude, I remember when I was... We were young. Oh, fuck. Now I have to bring this thing up that I saw the other day. Oh, no. You're going to be fucking pissed I brought it up.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I remember when we were young, there was this thing that phones used to do where if I was leaving you a voicemail and then someone else called and I took that call and then I hung up, the voicemail called me back. Right. Yeah. And I remember the first time it happened, I was just like, what the fuck? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Like I was so freaked out because the idea of like technology having like the autonomy to do that, just like this is what every movie is telling me to be afraid of. Yeah. And that, that shit. But like, if that happened to me, I would be petrified, dude. Yeah, we're already scared when our phones are like, oh, I mentioned shoes, and now it's telling me to buy shoes. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Like, I feel like, what? You have to imagine, like, I seriously, like, thinking, like, not in a jokey way at this point, but, like, God forbid that were to happen to somebody that, like, does have self-harm ideations and stuff like that. Like, that's in, like, that could be... life-changing, legitimately. And then that opens up an entire floodgate of... Who's liable. Exactly.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I mean, you would imagine it would be Google in that point, right? The developers, maybe? I don't know. Right? How does that accidentally happen? This is what's happening. AI is getting enough information at this point that it's just like, just stop. Dude, I almost like... How could you... I don't even know what you would have to type in for that to like be the thing that you kick back at me.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Yeah, because I don't think I've had a long, long conversation with AI. You try a chat GPT. Hello. Yeah. And I know people that use chat GPT to help them with diet, workout routines. Didn't we do a thing where we were trying to date people? We were trying to riz up different characters.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
And Joe Biden wouldn't date me. Joe Biden wouldn't date me. Super Mario was pretty pissed off at me. Foghorn Leghorn. That's a great episode back in the annals of Patreon. Go check it out. It's really funny. Back in the annals. Yeah. Jeez. But could you... Honestly. Bro. If this thing says it to you, do you then have to open up and start dissing this guy? I mean, yeah, I'm going back at it.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
You're going back at it. Like, if you're going to talk shit to me, I'm talking shit to you. It's like, yo, you're nothing. You're literally nothing. I can go out and I can... My lights go out that night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you imagine? My car blows up. I am now scared thinking about ramifications of this. But I think if that did happen to me and I started to feel like, oh my God...
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
You want to do it? Go the hell ahead. But if I see you in public. And you're crapping. And you're crapping in a diaper. Yeah. You're getting tripped. You know what I'm saying? Oh, you're going to prank them? I'm going to Frank prank them. I'm going to dump a bucket of water on your head.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
my devices are sort of listening to me like even if it was not like that even if it was like positive or something like i had been having a conversation about something i was nervous about or whatever and my phone the next morning randomly was like hey good luck on your whatever i'd be like what the fuck are you well it's it's well known that most they listen social media apps i don't know about listening but they do track your activity across other apps that are not their own
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Like, that is... Like, people have figured... Not even just figured that out, but, like, it says it in, like, their terms of service and stuff like that. So... Yeah. But I think the thing that would freak me out... Like, I know they're doing that, but, like, if they start interacting with me... I don't want to talk. Like, all these, like, Tesla robots and shit like that, like...
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Because they're just one time just going to be like, no. And I'm just going to be like, now I have to kill this thing.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
You know? Put it in the tub. Yeah. Like, I can't. If my Alexa, like, said something that didn't sound robotic, I'd be like, all right, bitch, you're going in the tub. Damn, you would threaten your Alexa?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I wouldn't even let it know that it was coming. Alexa, I am going to put you in a non-winnable situation. Someone's fucking Alexa just went crazy just now. They were probably like, what are you going to do? I know. I love doing that as a prank to people when I'm on speakerphone.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Get prank pranked. Watch this. Alexa, buy adult diapers. Someone now, they'd just be like, bang, diapers. Yeah, yeah. Check out, check out. Check out. What did you say you saw the other day that freaked you out? Oh, fuck, yeah. I was on TikTok, and I really don't like learning about new stuff. New stuff, yeah. New stuff freaks you out.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Just reaction-wise? Okay, I'll go first. Because you might not take it after. No, we're fine. Okay, here we go. We're just going to do it. We're just going to do it. Do it. Yeah. We're going to un-five. Five.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
You know. You know. And Dino was his name. Oh, I could not hug him because he would have hit me.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Oh, God, hold on. It's, yeah. It's not, it's got a bad after. It's not, like, it doesn't taste bad. It's just. Bad. It's unlike anything I've ever tasted, so my brain is immediately like, this is fucking poison. It is. But the vodka part makes it poison. Yeah, the old Polish poison.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I don't know. Oh, wait a sec. Hold on. Oh, is she coming up? She had a sec. She's coming up from the basement? She had a sec. She was down there playing video games, and she might come up for a couple chicken tendies. It's time for dinner. Come upstairs. God.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
You think I should, right? It lingers and gets worse. I'll say that.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
It's not the worst thing I've ever tasted, but it's far from the middle-est part I've ever tasted.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Oh my god, that's disgusting, Frank. That's bad. That's not good. I see why the... Oh my god, that's nasty. I'm sorry.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
But yeah, it was like, have you been on a motorcycle? No. No. I'm one of those people, like... Scared. It's one of the few things that my dad taught me that I think has value. And I... It's a crazy sentence, but okay. No, there's a couple... Few other things. There's eight. There's eight things.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I threw out my throw up. Threw out your throw up. Yeah. That's what it feels like. Regurgitation is what you're looking for. That's the medical. Indigest. Nope. One of those causes the other. Yeah. I'll let you figure out which.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Oh, I'm sorry. How many gags equals a throw-up for you? Yeah, do you often throw up?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I can see four gags is a lot because you have prolonged gags too.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
That's how I feel about cheese doodles. I love cheese doodles, but as a four-year-old, I threw them up and I just can't look at them the same. Really? Yeah. Puffed or crunchy? I like both. If you ask me what I am going to bring to the cookout, it's going to be puffed. Yeah, Puffed is better. But, like, Cheese Doodle brand. Yeah. I'm not, like, Puffed, like, other brands. What about Balls?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
You like Balls? No, the Utz Balls suck, dude. You don't like Cheese Balls? No. I love Cheese Balls. If we keep talking about Balls, my aunt's going to start to gag. I love Cheese Balls. They're just, like, okay, because I've never, 90% of those that I've had have been stale. Yeah. So it's such a small window. A fresh pack of balls? A fresh pack of cheese balls is out of control. Oh, my God.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
A fresh pack of balls. But also, like, good, old, fresh, crunchy. You know what I love doing with cheese doodles? You're going to love this because you're a freak with food. I love putting it on my tongue and then like I'm in like a video game level. You know those levels that's like you need to run through the things but it's like it's going to smush them or like go like that that way. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I just shove my tongue as far to the roof of my mouth and I crush that cheese doodle like it's my little bitch. No?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Why? But you're talking about a crunchy one? Yeah. No, I'm talking about a puff one. Oh, you go. I like send it to its doom. I like just shove it on my tongue. And its doom is the top of your mouth. And the doom is the getting crunch in the top of my mouth. Right. And you remember those video game levels as kids where it was just like you need to run through a maze. You get like smashed.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
But he's, like, known several people that have gotten... And we've known people that have gotten into motorcycle accidents. And he, like... It was the first time I heard it. I think it's a very well-known popular saying now, but it's just like, Frank, with most psychos, it's not if you get an accident, it's when. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Crash Bandicoot had a ton of those. Sure. Super Mario, Donkey Kong. I don't remember many in Super Mario. Donkey Kong either. The rocks that come down. Thwomp. Thwomp. Boom. Very good. That was not bad, right? First time I've ever even tried that. Give me one. One what? A thwomp. Do it. Do it. I don't know what it sounds like. Oh.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
So you're just talking about something that you don't know about? I know it. I don't know the sound. I did it once. I don't want to fuck up. It was actually not that bad. Stay on top, baby. Yeah. Anyway, Pope died. Pope's dead, dude. Speak of Il Papa with a little more respect, Joey. Ding dong, the pope is dead. Don't do that. Brush your eyes, get out of bed. Don't do that. I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
That's a song celebrating the death of the wicked witch. That is true. No, the pope was a good pope. Apparently he was a good guy. This dude was cool with like, he's like, yo, gay people, I'm cool with them, dude. Yeah, he was like six. Not that that speaks to me specifically, but I like that he is like a loving pope. A loving pope. Not like gatekeeping Catholicism or God.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I don't want a pope that's like, yo, just straights. That's, bro. Get the fuck out of here. Not fun. Yeah, make the shit gay-er than it is. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, dude. Yeah, get a little fucking gay. I think, you know, speak more respectfully of El Papa. Oh, no, I was just making a little song. I hear you. Is your mom okay? My mom? Your mom is all right? She's not that Catholic.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
My grandma would be distraught right now. What did your grandma do when PJP went down? That's a good question. When did he go? 2008 or something like that.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
What is the end, though? Is that the last year, three, four, five? Well, that's the thing. I don't know. I mean, PJP, he was like a lot of people believe he was the icon. And then after him, there was the— Benedict? Benedict. I remember him because of the eggs. Yeah, or I always think of Benedict Arnold, and I'm like, is this guy a traitor or is he a good pope?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Didn't we have a bad pope, though? There was a pope who was investigated. It was Benny? I think it's Benny. Benny? I think Benny was in a little bit of hot water.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yeah, I think there might have been. I don't want to speak ill of the fallen popes.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
That's not what I'm saying. I'm in the middle. I'm agnostic. I'm not sure. First of all, the Pope isn't God. He's like his boy, dude. That's his consigliere. That's the hand to the God. No, the Holy Spirit. What is the Holy Spirit? Do we have a? You tell me. Judges. You've been confirmed, correct, confirmation. I did get confirmed. I got confirmed.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
You know, so my dad, like from an early age, he told, like legit said to me, he's like, I will support you anything you want to do.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
And to me, the Holy Spirit is just like a, you know. I think it's more of like a feeling. Spirit. Yeah. Like a, like a, it's, you know. Yeah. Listen, I got no problem with, with. I don't know. I was raised Catholic. Yes, you were quite. And I'm not saying anything bad about the Pope. All I am saying is that he has passed away. Did your mom sing the hymns?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Frank, I don't know the last time you went to church, but some of the hymns are bangers. Really? Oh, my God. I just wish I— Do you know the hymns?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
of his hand shit is a banger dude shit is a banger I was focusing way more on my snaps than what you were saying it sounded pretty good though yeah no they got some shit over there they know how to they got melodies I will say putting eagles wings in there was smart because if they were just like he'll lift you up on like pigeons wings I'd be like you lost me pigeons is crazy you lost me but like going with eagles you you but like you go to a greek church maybe they say like pegasus's wings or something well that's mythology yeah but like the greek churches like are not being like oh hail
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Zeus for when he struck down, you know, Kronos. You guys read, like, books about Medusa and shit? We guys don't do anything. I haven't been to church in God knows how long. I remember, bro, Greek Orthodox, from what I remember of it, was just, it was shiny as hell. Shiny? Shiny.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
i think he was really testing the boundaries there yeah he's like except for motorcycle okay not doing that but if you were to ride a motorcycle would you get one of these or would you get one of these i would get one of these i'd get a i'd get a bike i'd not get a chopper i'd get a bike but are you like these that's a chopper you're talking like old harley yeah you know where yeah no i can't do that because bro i
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
shiny what's shiny everything everything was shiny bro gold everywhere bro fire and it was a lot it was like shiny and then white because there was just like marble everywhere oh that's yeah bro the greeks know how to church yo churches are beautiful bro mad nice when we were in uh dublin i walked into a church over there just to see anytime i'm like somewhere and i see a cool church i'm more inclined to be like let me go in but like
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
When I see one here, I'm just like, all right, it's a church. Nah, bro. Do you ever walk into St. Patrick's Cathedral? Yeah, that shit is nuts.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
They know what they're doing. If nothing else, they know how to build. They got architects. Listen, they know what they're doing. Yeah. Did you go by Notre Dame? Notre Dame? Of course. Was that cool? It was cool. Damn. It was very cool. It was open.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Catacombs. Oh, good word. I don't know what makes it a catacomb. Is that just like it's underground? I don't know. Don't care. I will say this. I do think it's crazy that people like you can like bet on like.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
new pope the new pope like is the new pope gonna be a person of color is the new they got a black pope up there are they gonna we could be we could have a black pope i didn't even know that that was like a thing that like i i think you would figure those you know an old traditional thing like that is a little racy yeah they don't strike me as a very welcoming group black pope have you ever had a black pope
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I don't know. Ant's going to have to do some digging on the Pope. He's like, no way. No, I don't know if we've ever had a black Pope, but. Have you, was your mom and grandma, when he like came here, were they like, we need to go see him? The Pope? No, Papa. No, I mean. Not even PJP? I didn't even know the Pope even came to New York. What was he doing here?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Bro, the Popemobile is like a, it's a famous vehicle. I know that. I thought he just drove around the Vatican. I didn't know that he would like come to New York. Where's he going? Carbone? Like, what's he doing here? Well, he goes to churches and stuff. He'll go. He'll be like, yo, I'm doing like a tour. I'm doing a one hour set at St. Patrick's. Come see me.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
You know, might be some special guests. Yeah. You know, I might pull out most. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yeah. Like that's maybe what they should do with the next pope. Like they should promote it as like a comedy tour. You know what I'm saying? Just like and they'll call it things like the pope. Maybe I'm blessed on tour 2025. You know? I like that. And it's just like 80 cities worldwide, you know, tickets available, you know, just three prayers.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Now that I think... In order to get in, you gotta... Yeah. Show us your Hail Mary at the door and you get a VIP entrance or something. There's no... Like when you're going through security, it's pearly gates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They get through. The security isn't like patting anyone down. They're just going like, all right. Great.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
We're still going. We can keep going, honestly. We're selling hosts. We can keep going. Greg will be up there. He'll be the producer, and he'll like throw the Eucharist out at the end of the show. You ever had one of those? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Hell yeah. I saw someone recently like made one that was like, they made it in like Mac and cheese and they were just like the crunchy Eucharist or something like that.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I'm not doing it. I'm just saying someone else did.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
So do you think if your grandmother were alive today, which just to cover the basics for those of you guys that have missed it, she isn't.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I feel like I have less control of anything at this height. And my shoulders would fucking give out. It does feel not ergonomic. Like, it just makes less sense. If I'm trying to control this thing, God forbid something's happening and I need to control it. I feel like I have way better control here than I do here. Like, whoa! Whoa! And, like, let's be honest. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
do you think she'd be like what would her reaction be all right you be to your grandma i don't remember your mother's maiden name and don't say it on the show just in case people okay you know start looking track her down yeah but like grandma joey yeah you're her okay yeah
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Grandma. Bim Bom? People get crazy. Yeah, no, we called her Grandma. All right, so I'm you. Go ahead. You're Grandma Joey. Go. Hey, Grandma, how you doing? Good. How's everything going? Good. I just walked 10 miles to the supermarket. Okay. It's only down the block, Grandma. I got lost. Okay. Hey, Grandma, I have some bad news for you. Now, I need you to act here, Joey. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Pull it together. He is. Pull it together. Okay, I'm my grandma. Seriously. I'll be you. I'm going to act straight, too. Like, straight. You know what I mean. Yeah, dude. All right? Put on your best straight. I'm going to be my best, like. Okay, I'll be my grandma. All right? How old am I, grandma? What year was she born? Use that for context. What did she live through? Did she see World War II?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
She's seen everything. Did she see Korea? She... I don't know, honestly. Not the place. She was born in like 29, I want to say. Oh, that's crazy. My grandmother was 26. It does nothing. There's no relation there. Okay. All right. So 1929. No, I'm saying like what age am I? Am I like near the end, Grandma? I'm near the end, Grandma.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
If she was born in 29, that means she was what, 63 when you were born or something like that? Frank, whatever. Yeah. So I'll be my grandma. Ready? Go. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Do it again. Do it again. You got to ring me back in now. I know. I know. Straight me out. Come on. Okay. What are we doing this for? What am I doing?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Why am I reacting? I'm telling you that the Pope died. Oh. No, no, no. Joey. Oh. Alright.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
He's done died. That could be the proper way, because you know how they say, like, he is risen? That doesn't make sense to me, but it makes sense to them. So, like, he is died. Oh, you said he is died. Well, he's is an abbreviation of he is. True. I'm so sorry. I hate to break the news to you. But here's the thing. I don't think my grandma really cared about the Pope like that.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
She's like, what does she love more than? God. Hey, Grandma. God died. oh shit oh shit listen we have sponsors uh sorry grandma oh man i'm in big trouble big big big big fat trouble about that you won't see it she won't see it she won't see it we hope uh Rocket Money. How you doing? The show is sponsored by Rocket Money.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
It would kind of give people the ick, you know what I'm saying? Like, if you... It's so dumb. Why do they do that? And they, like, sit back and far back, so they're like this. They're like fucking... How could that possibly be comfortable? I don't know. I get the other ones, because you're like... I also, like, there's something about, like, not large, but, like, loud motor vehicles that...
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
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The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
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The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
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The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
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The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
And if you could so kindly when you're doing that, go on a desktop version or go on your browser and go to that website using that URL. If you use the Patreon app. Apple kind of has their way with us. So go check it out.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Oh yeah. Okay, cool. There you go too. So patreon.com slash the basement yard. Thank you folks. And we'll see you there. And we'll see you there folks. So you're going to tell me your grandmother didn't like, she had no reaction.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I want to fucking lose my mind. Like, when someone drives by and they have, like, a souped-up fucking Nissan Altima and the fucking, you know, like, the exhaust, like, pops. You ever heard that where it's like, ka-ka-ka-ka? I'm just like, dude, you suck. More than any other person I've ever met.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Okay. Great beer, by the way. I stand by it. You love Miller Lite? Love Miller Lite.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Careful, careful. Where was this? Because the city might actually mean something now.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Oh. Well, I love the people of Huntsville. I don't know. I think. I don't know. I think it's, like, up and coming.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
It's kind of, it could be derogatory. Unless they're bitching. Derogatory. I mean, you could just be, how about asshole? I feel like asshole is pretty gender neutral.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I agree. Anyone who's being an asshole in a restaurant, especially if you're being an asshole to the waiter and you're disturbing other people's, you should get a fiend. I just want to make this very clear. I am fully in agreement. Yeah. That's not a bitching fiend. I mean, yeah. No. What this person clearly did, it sounds like they were just like, listen, I'm sorry.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Which, honestly, as the person working there, she'd just be like, you know what? My bad. This is on me.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
yeah and then give or or be like yeah okay and then bring them another one that's on them you know on you on the house or something but like i think if you make a mistake and someone brings up a mistake i don't think that's bitching yeah i don't think it's bitching either but i think that there are instances that do call for bitching that 110 percent require like and a bigger fee than five bucks
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
yeah i think if you're disturbing people i'll be honest disturbing the peace dtp what are you pointing at me you remember disturbing the peace yeah ludicrous like group yeah um i think if something is bad enough i will take a five dollar charge in order to raise hell i think a bitching fee should be like no it's tiered a hundred percent tiered it needs to be like minimum though minimum
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
10% of the bill. Because if you go, bro, if you do a $10 and I'm buying $400 worth of food at a restaurant, whatever. You got it. But if I see that my bitching fee cost me 10% of the bill. And that bitching fee should go to the individual that got fucking... Bitched at. Bitched at, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yeah. I hate it. So same thing with motorcycles. When motorcycles are just like the louder, the better. You know what do they say? Like the louder the purr, the bigger the lion or some shit like that. I don't know any bikers, so I wouldn't know if that's right or wrong. No.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I used to love this establishment. I come here all the time and spend money. I don't give a fuck, bro. I saw one of those the other day in real life. I can't. Real life white privilege from a Karen. I can't. And I had to like, I had to like remove myself. We went to go take the kids to take pictures with the Easter Bunny.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
And this woman, we were in the line for like the timed fucking slots, you know, like the appointments. And the other woman was in a line that it's just like, you run the risk. Like, we'll get to you, but like, these are our priorities. And she's like, I've been coming here since he was a baby.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
This is not how things are done around here and it's just like in what world do you think that is going if anything? Personally, I am going to go out of my way to make it harder on you I just don't like that. I come here all the time and spend money. I Pay your salaries. Um Frank. Yeah, don't even get yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I pay your salary. I
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yeah. I can understand it on, like, a government level when it's, like, you know, like, elected officials. Any sort of bitching, though. I, like... You don't like bitching. I don't. You would rather, like, if someone... If you saw, like, spit in your food, you'd just be like, I'm gonna eat this? I know, I know, I know.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
But if someone's doing it to me, I'm just gonna either remove myself and say, fuck off, or, like, I'm not gonna stand up and make a scene, though. Bro, also...
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
you need to acknowledge if you're one of those people that bitches at people like service people and you're with a larger party they're fucking collateral dude you're now you're now ruining you're potentially putting everyone at that table at risk so yeah if i'm with you hypothetically you wouldn't do this but hypothetically if a situation like that happened where it's like me and you were out and you started bitching i'd be like yo you're fucking now there's gonna be spit my food because you're you're a bitcher by association now exactly now we are bitching yeah
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Now it's not like they won't say like the guy at table six, they'll say table six is bitching. And I can't have that because then, then we're all done. We're all, we're all getting spit in our food, you know, or, or we're all, you know, paying for it, bro. And that's another thing. Uh,
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
If we're going out to an establishment, I know you don't do this now, neither do I, but like people will split the bill.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
If there's a bitching fee, I'm like, yo, you're paying. You got to pay the fee. I'm not paying your fucking $5. You're the one who bitched. You bitch, bitch. Yeah. And I don't like that. Me neither. I don't like that at all. I'm not splitting a bitching fee. What do you think is like the worst tier bitching? Because there's a level of like, this person just won't pay this.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Like... Just noise. Like you're very loud, bro. Like there's other people. I mean, I think, yeah, I could see that because if you're not that matching the vibe of where you are.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yeah, no, I've never run on a motorcycle. I would like to wear a helmet, though. I did have, when I was a kid. Like a blacked out helmet? Like you just shut it real quick? When we were kids, my bike helmet was a motocross helmet. Like bicycle? Yeah. Why do I not remember that?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Well, then you need to read the – if you have a loud family and you're going out to dinner, you need to be a good tipper. You can't do, like, oh, I'm just going to, like, tip normal. Like, whatever you're doing is putting the people on that staff in some form of pressure. You have to acknowledge that you need to be a better tipper.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yeah, just... Very nice to the staff, like, tippers, like, whatever, but, like, not... Just not quiet. Bro, my mom. I... Love this woman to death. Going out in public with her to like a restaurant or a store or anything where there could be a minor inconvenience on her. It's bad. Bro, for my... Becca threw me a surprise party. Like, not a surprise party.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
It was like a surprise dinner for my 25th birthday with my family. And my mom... We ordered a bunch of small plates. We were at Elm City Social in New Haven. Okay. We ordered a bunch of small plates. But like... You know, the idea is like when you order small plates for everyone to share, like unless no one else is getting a main, then bring it out all at the same time.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
But if people are also getting mains, bring those out first. Yo, you would have thought that someone, like, smacked me in front of my mom the way she was. She was furious, bro. And, no, I need them to. And I'm like, mom, you have to. You have to stop. You know what I don't like, too?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
there tell them not tell them wait till they leave and then say it to me i don't want to be here you talking to me and then you're like no this is like ew this what is that that looks the guy's right here wait till he leaves yeah then say it i i am in full support of a bitching fee i think it shouldn't be a dollar amount Unless it's like, you know, ordering one beer. That makes sense.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
That's fucked up. That makes sense. That's not a bitching fee. No, she didn't deserve that. No.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
No, bitch. Yeah. Your mistake. Oopsie. But also you need to acknowledge, like, is it worth it for you? You know what I mean? Like, I will say this. You eat the food and then you bitch. Oh, no. Now you're getting a bitching fee on top of that.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
You're getting a double bitch fee, baby. Yeah. You'll be two bitches at the same time. Right. I'm just, I think in that situation, clearly wasn't pitching. Personally, I will just drink the Bud Light, you know. Sounds like this person had an issue with Bud Light. And let's say it right now. Bud Light, Miller Light? Same thing. Pretty similar. Come on. I don't have the taste buds to go like,
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
yeah that's the original light beer you know every light beer is slightly rest slightly less or more tasting like rust
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
good way to think of it you know maybe we should like rusty water we should do like a taste test of something to see like because i don't think i can taste the difference between coke and pepsi i could definitely i mean i i i'm just giving an example i think i can but i'm saying waters yeah like this is aquafina this is not a chance and fuck you know i don't uh fiji yeah no you know smart water i don't i don't think i could no way
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Beers? Maybe. So are you on board with what I'm saying? Here's what I propose to all restaurants, bars, whatever, people that serve food, basically. Or drinks. If there is a bitching fee, it needs to be clearly tiered. It needs to be Tier 1, Tier 2, Tier 3. And you get a warning. Oh, of course. Everyone gets one warning. One warning.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Just want to let you know you are approaching Tier 1 DEFCON 1 bitching fee. You could potentially be incurring a fee.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
And then it needs to be a percentage of the bill. I agree.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Like, now there's nothing I can do. I'm sorry, but the charges will be charged. Now you're in bitch zone level one. Right. Keep it up. And there's a bitch zone level two. And then you're in double bitch territory. Yeah. And so help me. You don't want the three-headed bitch. If you get the Medusa bitch, then we're in trouble. Service. What? Cerberus. Cerberus had three dogs. Who's that?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
And you were taking it three blocks to the park. Well, no, I used to ride it to see my girlfriend, Tyena.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Originally, it's a Greek dog. Originally, I was going to go Hydra, but Hydra, famously, you know the saying. Go ahead. Cut one, two grow back. Cut off one head, two more shall take its place. Wait, who's Cerberus, would you say? Cerberus. Cerberus. The three-headed dog in Greek mythology. Also, Fluffy from Sorcerer's Stone.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Hagrid, by the way. By the way, they're coming out with a show. Hype. Day one. Who's the Hagrid? I forgot. It was good. Nick Frost from Shard of the Dead. Oh, that's a good one. That's a great one, dude. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
That's a good one. Yeah. People have been upset because— Black Snake. Basically, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Because here come the racists, a.k.a. some of J.K. Rowling's most diehard fans.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Who the fuck is Tyena? I don't know Tyena. Why are you upset? Oh, my God.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yeah, but there's some other stuff in there, too. There's probably some crossover there, too. You never know. The Venn diagram of hate, kind of. Yeah, I think you're either on the theme or you're off the theme. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
and you know why let's think of it like this all right i'm gonna here's my hey do you have that soapbox before that you were standing on before do you mind if i have it i think it's over by you all right cool If we want to go, like, acting-wise, you know, like, who's going to act? I don't want to spoil anything about Snape for those of you guys that haven't seen or read the books.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
But, like, this actor's going to bring some real-world gravitas. This is someone that has had to probably endure some real-world bullying and racism in their life. So, like, bringing that to the role, this Snape might fucking, no disrespect to Alan Rickman, might be pretty good. Arrest his soul. Arrest his soul. Do an Alan Rickman right now. Come on. Not even a single line?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
When I was in sixth grade, there was a Puerto Rican girl in one of the classes named Tyena, and I used to ride my bike to Astoria Park, and we would, like, look at each other from a distance because her parents were super strict. Did she know you guys were dating? Don't do that, Ant. It's a fair question at this point. Don't do that. Yes, I wasn't just staring at this woman from a distance.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Potter. I know that you were asking me to do it because you wanted to do it, so I was just trying to get there for you.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yo, Snape would not have lasted in like a Bronx high school because he'd be like, all right, everyone, shut up. And someone would stand up and suck my dick.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Eat my dick. Eat a frank, Snape. Someone would stand up and toss a textbook at Snape. Yeah, 100%.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
All right. Yeah. Talk faster. Oh, and chances are Malfoy would have been just absolutely had the shit kicked out of him.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Why are we making it seem like this is hard? Well, I think that there's probably instructions, and there's probably more magical, like the essence. You need to feel it, like the way you stand, and your foot is off. And as much as a swish and flick, I mean, look at what Seamus did. He blew up his face. That's what I mean.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
How bad do you have to be to blow up your fucking wand? I think the same way that you have to, like, know, like, general mathematic arithmetic. Like, you can't just look at something and go, I know it all now. You need to be able to apply it. That's one word. You also need to remember hundreds of spells. Whether you should be like, yo, can you get that for me? And you're just like, uh, Lumos?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I don't remember. You know what I mean? Like, you need to be able to recall that information quickly. How hard is that?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Not really. No, they all have... Ron Weasley probably has some dog shit wands. When they, like, share wands and shit, you know? When, like, fucking Ron is, like, using so-and-so's wand and shit like that, but, like... They all have their own wands.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Well, some of them might have hand-me-down wands, but I think that, like, it's, like, part of the curriculum that, like, you need to get these books, you need to get these wands, so, like, here's, like, a voucher for Ollivanders where, like, buy the wand, bring us, give them the voucher, bring us the stamp, and we'll give you 95% of the money required.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
You just said you were. Well, hold on. the thing it was a consensual stare from a distance right she did she have like a pair of binoculars like Oh, I don't think it was that far.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Well, the convenience of life would just be out of control. Yeah. Although not being able to use magic until you were 17 or 18.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
That's magic. You can't do it unless you're 17 or 18.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Let me tell you. Bad thing. Let me tell you. Get me a hippogriff. Me and Buckbeak, like fucking this, son. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Close as hell. Like fucking this, son. We do have more sponsors for today before we get back into the Harry Potter. We have PrizePix. PrizePix is a lot of fun.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Like, I'd be like, I'd tell kids in like other classes, like, yo, let's meet at the park. And it's like, you remember like dating in like sixth and seventh grade is like when you saw your girlfriend, it was like you were on that side of the park. They were on that side of the park. And then you'd like see each other and just be like, what's up, girl? Hello. Hello. Yeah. That's fine.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
All for that. Did you say to him, you're like, what are you doing? That's exactly what happened. He loves that. You might like that part more than the prank. Probably, honestly. Watch this. Watch this. I even tried to whisper to him. Watch this. Watch this hand. Watch this.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
So stay on the lookout. We will have some more information coming. will be i don't even we will don't worry about it this year the dog this is you this is season four of dog sucking season uh-huh you know we've gone through some incredible iterations um you know we we are innovators of hot dog content on the internet and i think we need to continue to maintain The suckage of the dogs.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
She gets a water port on it. I say that 24 seven. Hello. So you have no desire to get on a motorcycle. No, nothing. Damn the motorcycle. Tyena. Oh, okay. Sixth grade? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Not only the suckage of the dogs, but everything around, the power behind the suckage of the dogs. Because I think people know and respect us now as quality suckers of dogs. Yeah. That's the thing. If we don't get a fucking hot dog sponsorship. Yo, it is crazy. I just want to drive the truck. It doesn't even need to be that.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
It just needs to be like, bro, and all respect to him because I love the show and I love him. The guy that played Kevin in The Office, Brian Baumgardner. Forgive me if I'm butchering his name. He got a deal with Bush's Baked Beans for chili, dude. That makes sense. He's the biggest mover of chili in the modern century. He is the chili guy.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Are we not the biggest movers of hot dogs in modern century? Are we? I don't know if we are, but I'd like to be. And I'm not even saying in consumption wise, because I understand Joey Chestnut. He has, he has his records. He's got, you know, yeah. Didn't they just kick him out though? I think there's some stuff there. Yeah. Oh, well, because I think like something happened.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Well, he like took a deal. Well, Netflix was just like, yo, come, come suck the dogs with us.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yeah. I'm just saying, I do think that we are... We're up there. We're up there, dude. We're up there. Who else is peddling hot dogs like us? I would love to see – and this is a serious thing. Since we've started discussing dog sucking season, I would love to see the hot dog sales numbers in the United States. Do me a favor, Ant. Do me a favor. Try to find that.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I just think that there is – just look up dog sucking – no, don't do that. No. Look up hot dog sales in the U.S. by year.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Just do what you gotta do. Dog Second Season, we know when we started talking about it. I just think it's time. Listen, I stand up for us, Joey. I'm very passionate about this. I can see it in your face. I think that we as people have done nothing but try to give back to the hot dog community. And it has given us so much.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Despite all of the bad press that has gotten this year, human DNA in the hot dogs, not gonna slow it down.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
It takes 25 minutes off your life. If I live in a world where hot dogs kill you, I'm ready to die tomorrow. You know what I'm saying? And they don't. They might. We don't know. You don't know until you're gone. That's the thing. Really? I don't know. I don't even know that either. I'm just saying, how could we... Has there ever been an autopsy where they open you up and then they're like, hot dog.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Oh, God, hot dog. I mean, maybe if it was like choking or something. But like... Bro, there's this fucking guy that has a ponytail That has, uh, he's had a Big Mac every day for the last, like, 40 years or something like that. And he's got a ponytail? He's got a ponytail. And he's been eating cheeseburgers every day? Every day. What's this guy smell like?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Probably what you would expect a guy that eats every day a Big Mac. Beef and piss. Yeah. And probably stale hair. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. I actually do know. I'm just saying, what he's done for the Big Mac, I think you can make the argument we have done that for hot dogs. With a little help from you guys. We're begging now at this point. It's insane.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I had my first real girlfriend this summer going into sixth grade. That was your first girlfriend? No, no, no. She wasn't. It was a girl named... Who was your first girlfriend? We've talked about this briefly, but it was a girl that I went to summer camp with. Randy. No. Shit. There was another girl named Nicole. Oh, okay. And... Maybe it was the year before, but her name was Nicole.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
The people that watch the show and have supported us consistently go out and buy hot dogs and send us pictures of hot dogs and tag us in hot dog related content.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
you know hilarious that like during the summer a lot of my dms are pictures of hot dogs i love it i don't see i don't get those but people tag me i see the tags on that's what twitter or something oh yeah that too i don't i really don't see like instagram or or tiktok but like i just like the what we have done for the culture of your eyes We're shaping a generation. Your eyes look so sad.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
To continue an American staple. Let's be honest, Joey. America is not in the best situation right now. A lot of turmoil. A lot of arguing. Turbulence.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
But how can we as a country unite more and stronger? If it is not through a hot dog. I think there's a lot of different ways, but I'm with you. I think I just stumbled upon a new theme for this year of dog sucking season.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Now the new one, I'm going to leave it to you and the people to see what they feel is more marketable. Okay. We'll speak with our marketing, our PR, our people. Mm-hmm. Dog sucking season. Season four. Find love in a bun. Why? I'm confused with... But, like, find... Like, reconnect with people over a hot dog.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Bro, if you're telling me that fucking dick pills are having commercials where they're just, like, love, happiness, joy... Are they? I'm just saying. You just made that up. Why can't we do a super emotional commercial... About fucking hot dogs, dude. Probably because there's like press about there being people. We're not sitting there and peddling that they're healthy. By any stretch.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
And I'm not even saying just the unhealthy hot dogs. Bro, get a vegan hot dog in there. Get an uncured turkey hot dog. Chicken hot dog. I was just going to say, does chicken hot dog count? Yeah, why not? Anything that's that shape in a bun. Joey, we are inclusive-minded men. We want the world to be happy and everyone to feel included. That includes chicken hot dogs.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Honestly, that sounds incredible, but I'm going to even go, brownie might be a little too decadent.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
You could just do a cookie. That's a phenomenal idea. And you could do ice cream, or shut up. You could do a cookie, and you could do frozen yogurt on top as the ketchup. Yeah. And then you can do shaved chocolate. Oh. In a bun? Hear me out. Now I might, I think I found another tagline for this year of dog sucking season. You're all about the taglines. Dessert dogs. Bark for them.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
She lived in Ireland. That's fire. And, like, she was a real person. Like, I knew her. Yeah, I know. She just went to another school in another country.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Well, no, we don't want to know. No, because if they can show that correlation between these social conversations has led to lower sales, they might be less inclined to want to deal with us. It's true. And just Google hot dog sales by year in the U.S.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Why the hell would it double? Bro, anywhere you go, any event, any show, any stadium. But it's been that way. It's been that way. Yeah, but now people are making longer dogs. They're not switching the amount of dogs they're selling. They're sizing up the dogs.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
$40 billion is insane, dude. Hot dog sales by year, gotcha. Hot dog sales by year, US. We don't need to know the world, but honestly, we do have a worldwide reach. I mean, I don't think they eat a lot of hot dogs in Europa. Maybe they should.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I mean, if you find it, great. I'm just making a pitch, and I hope that you can respect me as your co-host. Most importantly, your lifelong best friend. What are you asking me to do? Co-sign with me. Dig our feet in the sand and say, we're not moving, world. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
No, so, like, sixth grade, I was just like, oh, girls think I'm cute. So I was just, like, I was, like, dating. I was trying to date, like, a bunch of girls as much as I could. Yeah. Yeah, it's beautiful. Who was your first, like, you're my girlfriend, I'm your girlfriend? I think I know the answer. Does Jamie count? Well, did you guys call each other boyfriend-girl? No. No?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
hot dogs you're preaching to the choir like literally i know yeah and i just want to make sure that we're in this together yeah a a strong united hot dog front yeah and we hold hands and then but our arms are hot dogs that's a great poster dessert dogs bark for them bark for them i mean where can you go from there that was beautiful unbelievable
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Is that what you're doing? I'll quit while we're ahead. I can't give them this for free. We are also respected businessmen, you and I. Oh, okay. And we need to be business savvy, synergistic, and understanding market fluctuations.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Wherever you can find a hot dog, folks. Because I am in essence in every hot dog that you have, as is Joe. Every bite you take of that savory, delicious beef, pork, turkey, chicken, vegan goodness, you're taking a bite out of Joe and I. Every bite out of a dog is a bite out of the basement yard. Thank you, folks. Joe.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
We, like, had a, it was, like, we had a telepathic connection. You just knew that you liked each other. We crushed on each other.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
You weren't not telling, like it was the classic thing of like telling your friends and just be like, just don't tell them. Do you? So my first girlfriend, did I tell this story on the show? We've told years worth of stories. Chances are yes. Chances are also possibly no.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I believe you have, but remind the people that are watching for the first time. He literally just walked up because, again, you don't tell the girl that you like that you like them. You tell everyone around her that you like them. Well, it's just 2003, 2004. Yeah. How dare you tell a girl that you like them?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
You tell the people around them, and then you let it get to her, and then you see what the reaction is. Exactly. You let it – and then it eventually gets – it's like water leaking in a wall. You don't need to pour the water on that spot in order to see the leak. The leak will find its way to the leak eventually. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
The water will find its way to the leak eventually, and then eventually you'll find out. This is like what police departments do when they're trying to find a rat.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Would you get on a motorcycle? I've been on one, and I'm against motorcycles. Yeah. Were you on the back? Yeah. I've told you this. I've been on twice. I've been on two motorcycles. Hugging a man? Yeah. Which, at the time, for me, was awful. You were catching a dove back there. I was... Because you gotta, his shit is... That's a bumpier row that you're on.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
He's like, all right, you like him, he likes you, you're dating. And then we were dating. And that was it. Yeah. That was nice. That's how it was back in the day. I was not as – I wasn't as lucky as one of those situations. I, I had to be like, so I had to, it's like, so like, do you think like there was even, you know, like if you like, if you don't want to, like, it would be cool.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Like, you know, like, do you just like, you probably hate me.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I know you probably don't feel the same about me because like everyone knows, but like I have a question and like, would you even like want to be boyfriend and girlfriend? I feel like you would, you'd be like, I know that you think I'm a fucking idiot. Yeah. I'm like loser. Oh yeah. Yeah. I still do that with Becca now. What do you mean?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Now I'll just be like lying in bed and sometimes I'll just be like, it's crazy you don't even love me. And she's like, where the fuck did this come from?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yeah. Well, it happens. I have something for you. And I don't want you. Is it a motorcycle? Can you imagine a fucking bike? I'd get like a Fast and Furious bike than I would get a chopper. Well, it would sit right there. If I had a chopper, I would need to wear bandanas.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
And you would need to have a very long mustache. Which I don't, and I can't. But you can get one. You could do it, too. Look at you. I know, but then my shit starts turning weird colors. Also, if I ride a motorcycle, do I need to wear boots, or can I just do, like, sneakers? You need to wear boots. The hell no, then. Something needs to be leather on your body. That's fair. That's fair. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Oh, hold on. Now I'm in. I'm back in. I love gloves.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yo. No, you don't need cutoff gloves for riding motorcycles. Can I say something? No. Uber drivers. You don't need cut off gloves. What do you think you're doing?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I'm like, unless you're like bullying someone in the 90s, what are we wearing? I don't understand that. I think that's like an old timey like cab driver cab driver thing. Yeah. Like they would have like that cab driver hat. And they'd have to have the, they'd go, where are you going? You know? What do you need, a grip? What is this? Well, you do need grip to drive. Hands.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I also think you're not allowed, some states might be like this, and I could have heard this wrong. I don't know if you're allowed to drive with gloves on. Why not? Because I think it could affect your grip. I could be wrong. And I'm honestly, now that I'm thinking about it, I probably am wrong. I know that you can't drive shirtless. Why not? I don't know. That's bullshit. Maybe it's distracting.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
That could be a good one. Yeah. That could be a good one.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Okay. And by I got you something, Ant got it, but I'm taking credit for it. Right. Okay. Okay. And hear me out before you jump down my throat. Before you're all in my throat, just fucking hear me out. Okay. No, I'm not doing that. Come on. Doritos vodka?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
It says... It doesn't even say what it is? It says Doritos X Empirical Batch 1. So this is like... This is like a collector's item right now, so you already got me into it. It should be collecting dust. Yeah, it doesn't say vodka. He's right. It just says base spirit. I'll like take a little tiny zip. And it says Doritos, nacho cheese, chips, extract, and then yellow dye number five. Hold on.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
It was also one that, like, you hold on to, like, you're about to, like, squat and, like, take a piss or something like that. Wait, what? It was, like, the ones, there are certain ones where you can, like, hold on like this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, uh...
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
How much have you drank of that? Those are the picky boys.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
It's not good at all. I mean, hear me out. You know I don't like vodka. I do like Doritos, though. Favorite Dorito right now. Three, two, one. Cool Ranch. Ooh, okay. All right. Or Sweet Chili. I was going to go with Spicy Nacho. Bro, for those of you guys that don't know, the king of Doritos is Keith.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
He has tried, and like not even like. Bro, I'll pull up on Keith sometimes, and he has a bag of Doritos, and it's a color that I don't even know is a color. Like a pink bag of Doritos, and we're like, what is this? It's like a shade of green I've never seen before. It's like it's the cherry blossom flavor. It's exclusive to D.C. only, and it's like, Keith, how? I walked there and got them.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yeah, Keith has like always been the Doritos king. So I wonder what Keith has to say about this. Has Keith tried this yet, Ant?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Well, we're going to. How are we going to go to try? Oh, no.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
these are big we're not we're not because you know I'm not first of all I'm not even I'm not I'm not drinking right now so we're gonna do a little a little hitter like a like a mouse sip but we have to smell it we gotta do a little bit more than a mouse what's a mouse a rat sip okay a cat sip oh yeah I'm fine with that no you ever drank water or anything like a cat Frank so many times of course I've drank so many times all right I try to drink like a dog sometimes
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I love how they cup their tongue back. Yeah, and it's kind of dumb. Does it smell good?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I think one of them was a hug, one of them was a hold on in the back because one of them was my uncle. Which one was he? You were hugging your uncle? I was hugging my uncle. Okay. The other one was my ex-girlfriend's father. And that one you were like... Yeah, and you remember who it is. You remember the ex-girlfriend.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
What the hell does this smell like? It doesn't smell that awful. Just so everyone is clear. Ant is on the other side of the camera covering his mouth because I think he knows what might happen.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Hold on. Don't be so sure. You never know. This is so weird. When I'm far away, it doesn't smell bad. When I get close, I'm like, that's alcohol. But far away, I'm like, what is that? I can't really smell it. It smells kind of like sucky. I've never had a... Can I say that?
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
I think... I don't know what the hell that is. I guess I am getting a little Doritos in there. I'm not getting any Doritos. All right, well... You should probably pour a little more then. No. No, no, no, bitch. Nice try, bitch.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
But, like, do you have, like, a different one where it's like... Oh, we're the one where it's just like, we like fucking, there's wooden ships, there's steel ships, but the best kind of ship is friendship.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
That's kind of cute, but I hate the ones where it's just like, to fucking women's titties, and underneath is where their vaginas are.
The Basement Yard
#501 - Getting Fined At Dinner
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was someone, that was a fraternity that I, not my fraternity, but a fraternity I knew someone was in. For those forgotten? For those that forgotten, dig them up and fuck them. It was like, fucking rotten. It's like, why are we drinking and promoting necrophilia?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
What does that mean? A little cutie boy? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
In London, they're like, oh, ho, ho, this is Tony. This is nice. This is nice, yeah? We're on bunk, yeah?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
How is no one talking about this? Turned into stone? Medusa's up there?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Bro, stop. What is happening, bro? Bro, fucking cut it out. I'm not, this is not funny. This is what it says.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I'm looking for a chest. I'm looking for a chest. I'm feeling, I'm feeling chest over here. I'm feeling chest over here. Something very godlike. I just, uh. She's walking in the supermarket and she's like, hold on. Big chest. Ten Commandments? I gotta go to the Middle East. Wait a sec. Moses. Moses is here. Moses is here. Moses? What do you have to say? Where is it?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Does anyone have a mother named Mary? Anybody have a mother named Mary? It's somewhere where the light doesn't shine. Okay, where does the light not shine? I'm getting darkness, but also light could be figurative. Okay. Like, I can't. I can't with this shit.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Why are we not dead as a human race yet? Why? How are we still going? How have we made it this far?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Fire. Okay, but it doesn't. Okay. All right. Keep going.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Scented. Scented. Sure. Okay. Yeah. I mean, think about it. What else do we... Like candles. Candles.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Hold on a sec. Hold on. I've been pulled back in.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Frenchmen coming down the street. Running down the alleyway. Where is all the meat?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Welcome back to the ba- Welcome back- Welcome back to the fackin' basement yard!
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Oh, Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Benjamin. I will say, from a distance, you're like, that's just a big clock. You get up close to this thing, and it's just like, that's a big clock.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
And my dad was wearing like Adidas track suits that had like the jacket, like the pocket in here was like mesh on the inside. So the fucking waiter or waitress would come.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Why does anyone need that much syrup? My father is clearly diabetic. That's so weird.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
So at his house, we would open his fridge, and there was on the fridge door... Dozens of nips of Cracker Barrel syrup.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
It's so stupid. How much money is he saving? And then, next to it, he would have a regular-sized jar of it that he would buy. So he would basically get a two-for-one special.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Because he would think, like, get in the car, get in the fucking car. I pulled one over on them. And a wall over their eyes. And their fucking pockets were so heavy with these glass bottles of maple syrup. They're glass? Yes. That the pocket would hang out the bottom, like, elastic of his fucking track jacket.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
This guy would think like I got them and they would just be like, all right, see you later.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah. There's a video of him praying in his house. And he turns around and he's like... Stay prayed up. It's like, come on, Mark.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
It's not actual green apple flavor. It's just sour. That's it.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
The boys are back in town. Thin Lizzy, I think sings that. Thin Lizzy. Thin Lizzy. Who is she? Who is she? Why is she so thin? She's clearly made an impression. Is she okay? Get her a fucking pint.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah, I mean, so you think that people are not going to listen to me about Apple, Google, Uber, Amazon, and Bitcoin, but they're going to listen to you about an oncoming terrorist attack that kills 3,000 people.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I'm being, you want, I'm, what I'm saying is my eclectiveness, my eclecticity. Yeah. is definitely not a narrative that has been spun. I'm the worst. You're the best.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Like there's like a gun pointed at his head and he's like, my first memory, a cream cheese sandwich for my dad.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
See, now you're projecting. You're projecting. You see that? Watch. I got him with it. I got him. You're projecting. I never said that being non-eclectic is being bad or the worst. I just think that. No, I was referring to the other things. Those things are pretty bad. Right. Yeah. But you're not those. Okay. But I am more eclectic than you. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Now that we have that settled, my point is if I wore that shirt, it would be over. Well, again. It would be a wrap. Because you would wear it, and it would be a Balenciaga shirt with bull balls on it. Amber Crombie. Where are those shoes from? New Balance? Take them off. What's on the inside? What's on the inside? Aime Leon Dior. It's still New Balance. It's a collab.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I'll be really honest with you. I don't know what Aime Leon Dior is. It's a brand. I don't know. I didn't know. Free. Yeah, that's right. They gave it to us at the Just Relax Vancouver. We're both wearing free stuff. We're wearing... Most of this stuff on me has been gifted.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
This? This was a gift. What am I wearing? Let's see. Let's see your wrist. What's that? What's on that one? What? Oh, yeah. Pull the slings back. What's that? Okay. Oh, I accidentally stole this from the shoot. Oh, I almost took some jewelry from them. Oops. But I didn't. I give it back. I got back to the hotel. I was like, oh. I don't think they care. Me neither.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Oh! It's, uh, it's for my butcher. It's for your bircher? It's like, it's a for bircher.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
They've made it seem like if you want anything. What's that though? What's on that one? We went too far. What Joe was referring to, by the way, was shoot, we were just out in Palm Springs. We won't say who it was for or what because I don't know if we're allowed to yet. I don't think so. I wouldn't. I'm not gonna. That's what I'm saying.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
But we were out in Palm Springs, California, and quite the ride. Interesting way to get there for sure.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Apparently, a lot of people go there. Didn't know that. It was an international airport. That was shocking. And the airport was as big as a baseball field. Legitimately. First of all, 90% of it was outside. Yeah. And everyone is 65 years old. Yeah. And white. White as fuck.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Fault in Our Stars starring Dwayne the Rock Johnson. He's rock bottoming. That's hilarious. Can you imagine? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? But, like, make it your thing. Your trademark. Your actor trademark. What an insane thing, dude.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yep. No one at the restaurant we went to. Yep. Yeah. So. Oh, Whitey's out there. They love it. In the desert, I guess. But. Palm Springs, it's like known as like a. I had no idea. It's like old Hollywood. Like, cause there's like Palm Springs, Pioneer Town, apparently is a huge music place.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Have you seen that movie, Fault in Our Stars?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
We were there and they were just like, yeah, this is where the Stones recorded this album. And then like.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I was like, I don't know if I could know. I feel like. But. So we connected in Denver and we flew from Denver to Palm Springs, which was longer than I thought it was going to be.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
It didn't get a little choppy. It got a lot of choppy. It was a fucking full-on chopped salad on the plane. We were chopped our fucking heads off. Worst turbulence I've ever been in. Without a doubt, the worst I've been in. And, you know, I have fully explained my mentality getting on a plane. Frank hates flying. I don't like flying. I do it.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And it's not like when I'm on the plane, I'm like, I need to, like, take something or I'm a nervous wreck. I'm fine. But, like, the minute I feel like a little shake, you're like, oh. Yep. So we're descending and... We're bouncing around, dude. Dude, like... Bad. Not like... I don't know how to explain it, but like rollercoaster.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
They're just like... Animals by nature... I know. I'm animal, dude. Talk to me, Steve Irwin.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And we're going through clouds. Yeah. So I start feeling the bounce.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
So I was watching, I downloaded this season of breaking bad, which rewatch it or watch it for the first time. If you haven't. Okay. Uh, and science bitch. Yeah, bitch. And thank you. Yeah. And I just stopped watching. But it was playing in my ears. So I'm like sitting there trying to be calm. And Walter Jr. is screaming in my ear. And you know I'm not doing that accent.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Dude. Bring a reptile. Bring a fucking giraffe in here. Robert. I think it's Robert. And then I think his daughter, I think, I don't know. I don't want to say it because I think his daughter's name is Bindi, I think, or Bondi. Oops, if it's... I don't even know.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I'm not. I'm sure that won't offend anybody. Do it. It will. And I'm not going to. So I'm sitting there screaming. And then you, like a psycho, have your window wide open. You don't want to watch? No. Oh, I want to. I have the windows closed. That's why I sit at the window because I like to look. Nope. I know we're high up. I'll be honest.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I even sometimes convince myself like we're actually not really like this is all like a prank and we're not really in the air. We're still on the ground, but like people are like trying to make it seem like we're flying.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah. It's a bumpy road on a bus. Yeah, that's exactly... And, yo, like, there's this, like... I don't like hitting the ground without seeing, though. No, I know, like, I know the feeling of hitting the ground. I'm, like, good until we're, like... you know, close to the ground because I put myself in the mentality of like, we're at a safe fallable distance. You know what I mean?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Like, yeah, we're still high and going fast. Yeah. But like, this is a safer distance, but like, yeah. So I'm sitting there, eyes closed. Walter Jr. Do the impression. You're doing it. I'm not doing it. You're the impressions guy. I am, but I'm not.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Frank, don't do it. Just doing the face he made. All right, go. I saw your life before your eyes. You're like, no. I mean, this is me boring for your life. I know, I know. No, I would never. That's offensive. And we're like going, and I look over, and I look at the window. And we're going through a cloud, but I guess there was a light that flashed. It's from the wing.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Well, no, because we were way in front of the wing. It might have been on the front of the plane or something. There was a light that flashed. And the color of the light that flashed made the cloud that we were going through look... Like fire.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I think... Look up Steve Irwin's kids now, bitch. I'm sorry. That was too much. You're not a bitch. Yeah, that was kind of... I think it's Robert. Dude, the kid... I see them cry over stuff, and it makes me want to cry. Is it Bondi or Bindi? It's Robert and Bindi. Okay. All right. Good. But... I don't even know how that's offensive, but... I don't know. I don't know. But...
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I really hope he didn't see out the window about that. Yeah, so we landed safely. Thank God. Thank you to the flight crew, I guess. I don't know. Pilot. Yeah, pilots. I don't know why I said it like that. Pilot. Then, again, Palm Springs, guys. Desert.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
a show of hands here can anyone tell me what they have in the desert almost exclusively anyone that's right dirt and sand sand that's it so we get out forty mile per hour winds and we're getting blasted in the face yeah we're like walking to baggage claim and it's like a fucking college campus there's like a cafeteria and shit and you get outside and i'm like oh okay they weren't kidding about the wind and like
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah. And not like the cool EDM electronica song sandstorm. Yeah, no.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah. But yeah, so we're. A legit like. Sandstorm. Tatooine.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And he's still, by the way. Through the first, like, minute of the sandstorm going 85 miles per hour. Yeah, we were sending it. We were not. I just click. I just put my fucking belt on.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
That's the other fucking thing. As we pull up to the Airbnb, after we go through a fucking tornado, basically, like Dorothy. We were at Oz. He goes, all right, just be careful out there. We're like, for what? He's like, coyotes, rattlers. I'm like, get us in this fucking house. It was like we were exhausted at this point. There was a charcuterie board waiting for us.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Well, midnight fucking Palm Springs time. Oh, yeah, so 3 a.m. in New York. Yeah, that was a late cheese that I had for sure. Did that haunt you the next morning? No, I was fine. I actually was, like, great that whole trip. Like, I was surprised. Like, sometimes when I go, like, on trips and stuff, I feel like I get too nervous. Oh, and like your tummy gets a little rumbly bumbly?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
There was, at the set that we were at, there was a snake handler. Yeah, that was a little scary. And I was like, at the end of the day, I was like, did you find anything? She was just like, nothing to worry about. Just a snake, a gopher snake. Gophers, brother. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I'm screwing up this person's name. I don't want to say something offensive. Okay. So, by nature, these animals are territorial. Bro, we found, they were on two different instances. We found kittens in alleyways and brought them home. And our cat, you remember Mystique, Sticky Lou. She was... I had a cat named Mystique, Ant. Make fun of me. She died of, guess what? Cat mouth cancer.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Well, when she called it a gopher snake, I imagine it's because like they swallow gophers. All right. That was where I went. But probably you're right. And there were holes everywhere. There was like snake sized holes. And like everywhere. And I don't do like bad with animals, but like when we're in their territory, bro, we were in the desert.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah, I didn't like that. You know it was a nest. But it was a good experience. We had a lot of fun. Thank God we survived. No coyotes. No coyotes. You think you could take a coyote?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Really? How big are coyotes? They're just like little dogs, right? I could take a coyote. It would definitely hurt, but I would get some.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I would get it off me. You'd get off on it? You know I didn't say that.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I think one coyote. 15 to 45 pounds. Yeah, I'm beating the shit out of it. One coyote. Yeah, I'm beating the shit out of it.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Two coyotes, probable problem. With a good set of legs. Like, if I roll my ankle, now this is going to get tougher. I've never met a dog that can, like, really manhandle me. Are you serious? Yeah, I don't think I have, dude. There's dogs out there. They just look like little, Joey, knowing Joey. Holy shit, gray wolves. Gray wolves are how big? 20 to 50 pounds?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Oh, shit. Yeah, fuck that. And how tall are they? Well, first of all, six and a half feet long. Bananas. Yeah, no.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Wait, gray wolf. Isn't that someone's name in... Gray worm.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I remember gray worm. But isn't someone like gray... Oh, in fucking Fenrir Greyback from Harry Potter. Fenrir... What? Fenrir Greyback from Harry Potter. He's the... He's a death eater. The one that has all the snarl, like gnarly teeth. Oh. And he's just like, oh, I'm a werewolf. He's the one that attacked... Sirius Black?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Einerning. Joey couldn't the other day say ironing for some reason. What did I say? Eining? You said einering. Einering. We'll get to that in a little bit. It's from my butcher. They gave me this shirt. It was very kind. Wait, you went in and bought meat and he's like, here, take a shirt? Yeah. Every time I go, there's this guy that's just shoveling meat, which is a crazy way to say it. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Well, no, I don't know if he attacks him, but in canon, he's the one that gave Remus Lupin the werewolf disease because he attacked him. You're saying a lot. All right. Well, we do have advertisements. We have to get to those, ladies and gentlemen. They're just little puppies. Knowing Joey, he'd be like, oh, come here. I'll tell you right now, I would give a coyote three tries before I hit it back.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I just did that, like kissing like a dog. Remind me of a story after you read these ads.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
No, but she did have like a half. They also named their dog Rogue.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
But yeah, extra strength, high quality, amazing smelling deodorant, also for just $5. They have other products too. No risk trial or anything like that. If you don't like it, no worries. It's on them. Convenient subscription option. So it's nice. So go to harrys.com slash basement right now. Get that trial set. That's $13, but you only get it for three bucks. All right.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Making out like a bandit there. Boom. Yep. And you know what? You want to smell good? How about you live good and be happy? And go over to Patreon, patreon.com slash thebasemanyard, where you can have more of us. And, I mean, that would be very kind of you. So thank you if you have. And if you intend on it, we thank you as well.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You go for that first tier, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes. Every single Friday. Monday. Friday. The Basement Yard Boys. We're going to be there for you. So go check it out. Thank you to our over 33,000 paid patrons. We are so appreciative and grateful. It's given us these really, really cool opportunities. So thank you.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
We were so close. We were very, very close. Storm's a sick name. We were very close. But as a family, we agreed that any pets that we get would be named after X-Men. So we had Mystique and we had Rogue. Who's next on the list? Well, we now have our own family, so... If you get another cat, then it's gonna be like, oh, this is... I mean, I'm all about good... You know how I feel about animal names.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
We're excited for what this year is going to bring us. We've been rocking and rolling and all the other adjectives that we could think of in regards to rocking and rolling. But yeah, go check it out. We love you. We appreciate you. And Let's keep this party going. Keep this party going. I just did that thing where I was like, like beckoning a dog at the shoot that we were at.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Again, it will remain nameless for now, but we were rapping on one of the takes and they were just like, all right, let's do something a little more fun and playful. And Joe and I were like, all right. And Joe walks up to me and I beckoned you like a dog and like kiss at you. And then it was silent and they go. Thank you.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
If I get an animal, I'm not naming him, like, Francis or, like, Robert or fucking, like, Mark. I think it's funny. Like, when people have, like, a pug and it's like, who's that?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah. But it's more playful than fucking like, bro, we talked about this not like a couple of years ago at this point, but like Aaron Judge has this beautiful little dog and its name is like Kevin. And it's like... Kevin's horrible. That sucks! Kevin's horrible. Your pet name needs to be playful. I fully agree, though. Alfred is a good dog name.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
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The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah, like... And it depends what dog it is. We've gotten past, like, certain human names. Like, Gertrude. And, like, you know, Eustace. Like, those... Eustace. I'm sorry. I watched Severance the other day. But, like... We've gotten past, those names suck. We all agree that those names suck. Sorry any Gerties out there.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Bro, in the OR, they were like listening to Coldplay. They were having the time of their life in there. Yeah. Like, you know, I wake up and I hear fucking clocks and I'm like, all right. Clocks. But I felt a pressure. Like, all I could feel was something. It felt like something was like pushing on my leg like that. But it was weird because you can't feel below the waist. Right. Weird.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I didn't grasp that concept. Could you move? I could move this, but again, it was under, yeah, it was under, it was under a, like a, like a thing blown hot air on me. And then I went to like wiggle my legs and I couldn't. And mentally I just got freaked out.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
So I was just like, and the anesthesiologist was sitting right next to me and I'm like, I can't move my legs. And they're like, you're getting surgery. Dumbass. Not only that, but they were like, yeah, that's the epidural.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And I was like, no, but like, I can't. And I started like freaking out and wiggling and I could hear they were just like, all right, put them back. Yeah. So they just like it was not about basically. So I'm breaking a sweat trying to move my legs and they just like release the valve for my anesthesia. And I just literally I was like, Gone. Damn, dude. You don't like needles?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I know, it is cyclical, but right now, what were old-timey names can be pet names, and then what are now, like, pet names will be old-timey names eventually. Like, imagine you had, like, a fat cat, and it's like, who's that? It's like, that's Barbara. Like, that's hilarious. It is. But also like I hate it.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I mean, I also. I think they expect him to be like, hey, don't go work. And I saw on the screen, like, it looked like someone was like in like peach colored jelly.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
So I had four openings. So, cause my knee was basically. Did they cut and open? Look at him.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
If I had no pain. I didn't see that. But the way that they did it on me was normally it's like three holes that were in my kneecap because my whole knee was fucked. ACL, MCL, PCL, patella. It was fucking spaghetti in there. TLC. And then underneath, maybe like... Wait, you tore all those? Everything, dude. What'd you tear? ACL, MCL, LCL, PCL, and my patella was fucked.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
That's great. What happened? Whatever, that was bad. So they opened the shit and they had to fix everything. So there was three holes and then the opening was a slit. Whoa, you got a vagina? And they, from there, because they opted, when I was getting the surgery done, they were like, do you want the new ligaments, do you want them to be cadaver, or do you want them to be your own ligaments?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Get a dead guy's knee in my knee. Well, no, I took my own. So the little slip that they do is they had to go into my hamstring, and they took some ligaments from my hamstring and used that to reconstruct my own shit. Because they said they were like, there's a chance that your body rejects the cadaver, and then you got a big fucking issue. Ah.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I would much rather that I agree with you because Kevin is you're also going over you have the perfect you skirted the line So perfectly with Charlie because it is it's close. It's very cool. It's a good playful animal named Charlie Charlie Charlie Charlie But it's also like that sucks as a name and forgive me for any Charles's or Charlie's out there. I But it sucks. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Like, I know what you don't like, and you ready for this? What? You don't like when you see that thing that's, like, prying open skin.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
That doesn't bother me. It was, I still don't have feeling in some of my knee. And, like, you could still see where they went. Like, the scar is still there.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
That's the, that's where they went into my hamstring right there. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And it's still like, not like the feeling is still not back. And I think like the scar tissue or something. They're still putting you under. Well, they fed you a lot of anesthesia that day. You've never been under anesthesia. Have you? No. That's a picky boy's video asking right there. Yeah, get an anesthesiologist in here. Bro, it's like a thing.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Have you ever seen videos of people fighting anesthesia? I would probably do that. Probably. I would 100% do that. You would fail, brother.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
There are people that fight it for, like, minutes, and they're like, like, Steve-O.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
There's, like, bro, look up people fighting anesthesia.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
So, you wouldn't do good with, like... Have you ever seen, like, a crime scene photo or anything?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
What about if they got hit by a train and they're smushed?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
It's a result. So, they're, like, in progress of it all. So, surgery.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
When the hell is surgical procedures crossing your page? I've gotten that sometimes. I've never gotten that. You've never been under anesthesia or gotten surgery?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I used to, do you remember that show that was on MTV when we were kids? It was called scarred. Yes. I loved that show. And they, and they had some gnarly shit on there.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I was like, what the fuck is this? I used to tell my girlfriend at the time, like, I don't know. I might end up on it because you're so wild. She was like, oh my God, stop. My legs. It could be my legs. It could probably be my legs. My legs, which are mostly scars.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
They saw that my legs is... You probably told her like, yeah, I submitted my legs, but I'm waiting to hear back. What? I submitted my legs to the show. No. Waiting to hear back. What a good scar. No, but I think... Yeah. Like something like that. Any like lower body injury, like sports injuries in general, sports injuries are bad.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I always, I always think back to that dude from Louisville, Kevin Ware and, um, and then the Sean Livingston, you remember that one that was gruesome. A couple of years ago, was it Chris stops Porzingis? Didn't he have one a couple of years ago?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Well, because that's how I got hurt was playing football. So, like, football injuries fuck me up. But, like, any – I think, yeah, I think, like, you're saying, like, just, like, gym injuries or something like that. But mostly the lower body.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You like pimple stuff? I don't hate it. Do you like watching big fucking little squirty pimples?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
dry and they're not like wet and big and what you know white and a dry pimple like a blackhead i don't hate that oh yeah i'm not afraid to admit it i don't go looking for them but if they pop up i'll give it a sec before i swipe away yeah you know what i kind of like i like when they're like scraping someone's nose and like there's like a cheese and you're like yo this is disgusting but like that's why i like it full transparency you know what i can't watch as you were just saying that boogers
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I don't know why, but like those videos, you ever see those videos of like, it's like one is like the kid at like his Christmas choir and he sneezes and there's just a giant booger? That I can't, I can't, I don't know why. You're not a booger boy. I can, well, who is? I'm not, I mean, I wouldn't say I'm a booger boy. I can't, or like people that like, and then eat it, I can't do that.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I did it as like a fucking toddler. You did it? I'm sure I did it as a four or five year old.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
At least five days out of the week. But people that pick it and then look at it and eat. I'm not even kidding right now. I get looking at it. I get looking at it. But I'm not eating this. What are you, fucking crazy? Also, it used to be really difficult for me to watch people throw up. But I'm okay now.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Like, I remember, like, if, you know, ten years ago, if I were watching, like, Jackass, I would need to. Throwing up makes me laugh.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Bro, there was one. I know you can't watch it, and I highly, I'm not even kidding. It's the grossest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It was, like, cut from one of the Jackass movies. How'd you see it? Because they like release it in like 1.5 or 2.5 or something.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was Dave England, one of the jackass guys, and the skit was called The Omelet. Oh, no. And he ate, like, he took bites out of, like, a potato, a block of cheese, an onion, and drank, like, three raw eggs and then threw them up into a pan and cooked it and tried to eat it.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
The Brahma Bull, like the rock. Me and the rock. Do me a favor. Give me a little spin. Give me a 180. You want like a full spin?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
That's what I'm saying. I couldn't see that. Also, I don't like seeing bugs in skin, like ticks or botflies or something like that.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I don't know why you like that so much. Oh, I'm sorry. You said it feels good when you do it, right? It feels mega good. I've never felt that before in my life. Have you used one of the cameras?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Those are great. It's cool, but I've never been like, oh, it feels so great. Like scratching an itch I had or something. It's just like whatever.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
So you're kind of like edging yourself a little bit. Kind of. Sort of. Yucky. Speaking of food, though, in the weirdest way possible. Ant looked up. Ant, are you okay over there, by the way? I mentioned that omelet thing, and you were just like, no, I'm good, I'm good.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Ant pulled up this thing before that we wanted to end the show with, and basically it's this idea that, like, you get $100 million, but you can only eat one food for the rest of your life. Are you doing it? And, by the way, it's a random food. It's not like you could pick it.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And then that's the one every day. If it wasn't random, if you could pick what food would you think that you could actually eat? I mean, the real answer is that nothing. But the real answer is I would get a year into this and blow my head off. Okay. Yeah. But like, is there any food that you love so much that you believe that you can have it for the rest of your life?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Is it like pasta? You'd be like pasta or sandwich or something like that because I guess anything could be a sandwich.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I'm not saying I'm doing that. Sandwich. You just said pasta. He's like, I put the pizza between two bread. That's a sandwich. When we said we were going to bring it up, he before said burrito. So he's cheating. You're the cheater.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
If it was carrot, I'm getting four days into this. I love carrots. Also, obviously... If I get something insane, I don't even know, but it's not going to kill me. Yeah. If you only eat carrots, it's a wrap, probably. Oh, you'd be all right. I don't think so. You have the greatest eyes on the planet, though. Yeah, but you would have deficiencies and you'd die.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah, the assumption is that you're also taking supplements to give yourself what you're missing out on.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Turn back around before we get demonetized. Okay. I know why you're doing that, and I just want to say. Because it's got fat nuts on the back of it. It does have nuts. They're bull balls, dude. Bull balls are a symbol for power and strength and just, you know.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
It makes it easier. I would absolutely say no. I could die. You know what? I'll give you this one. You want it to be the other way? If you get carrot, you're dead in 10 days. No.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Pretty sure his name is Will. He's a cool dude. But he's over by the deli, and I always walk over. Bro, a good deli is so, like, you need a good deli. You need somewhere in your neighborhood where people know your name, so you walk through the door and they're like, oh, look at the cat drag thing. Ah, the big time is here. What do you want?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Protein? Fiber? It probably has fiber, but I don't know. I'm sure you'd be all right. I don't think so.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Nah, the other one. That's even worse, probably. No.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
well we're still gonna do this one but imagine that every food how much money would it take for every food that you eat for the rest of your life just doesn't taste like that it tastes like something else oh i'm fine with that i don't that's a weird world to live in like i mean it would suck hamburgers would taste like carrots but then you could have hot dogs would taste like corn but then you could have an apple that tastes like a hamburger right that would be cool so do things just switch like you need to find the thing that tastes like steak yeah
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I like that. Then we get old quick. If I had to pick a food, like if it was my choice, it would probably be crab legs. I'd be dead in a week because I think there's a lot of cholesterol in crab legs. You would eat only crab legs? Dude, colossal king crab legs? Hell yeah, dude. I feel like they're not satiating enough. You haven't had enough of them, brother.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I have had enough to fucking satiate my appetite. Really? Yeah. All right, so let's do it. So Anne has a random food generator. I think my answer to this question is no, by the way. I mean, I'm still going to do it.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah. So I'll just say this. If the answer was cheese.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I'd be happy, but I would also not make it very long. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
cheese has protein it has like digestive enzymes right and it's got an expiration date on you well certain cheeses can age for years no i meant like it'll kill you oh yeah yeah that's true all right so joe's this is joe's first so for the sake of the game you're doing it or do ants first ants let's see what yours would be i'm doing it too all right here we go would you do it would you do it it depends what mood i'm in honestly but i'll do it for i'll do it for here okay this is mine
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I know, well, that's what I'm saying about sandwich. Panzanella is, what is that, tomatoes, cucumber? Yeah, this is probably not a bad guess.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I say sandwich before, and I'm fucking called a cheater. He's eating that salad.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah, but what stops him from putting something in that salad, as long as it is still technically a salad? The rules stop him, Frank. What do you mean? All right. You saying a sandwich is like whatever. Oh, panzanella. Pan means bread. So I think there's some bread in here somewhere.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
All right, so this is Joe's. Joe's food is... White chicken chili. This kid gets a delicious fucking meal.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Also, chicken was going to be part of my answer. I think that's the thing that you can customize really well. And you have chili. You get the sauce. You get the tomatoes. You get the beans. That's pretty good. My fiber's up. You know what I'm saying? Of course. The internet wants him to live forever. Watch what I get. I can guarantee my fucking answer is going to be dog shit.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I am super in love with that. Not bad, not bad. A good Pad Thai? Oh, daddy's hungry now. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And like you can make it spicy some days or it could be mild some days. I like when it's fucking spicy. Oh, yeah?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You ever had Tom Yum Soup? Tom Yum? Tom Yum. No. Dude, unbelievable. It's like a Thai soup. Yeah. Oh, you haven't been watching White Lotus. Have you been watching White Lotus? I have not.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
All right, let's do one more. All right, all right.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Ants next one is $100 million, by the way, eating white chicken, chili, and pad thai for the rest of our lives. Very easy. I mean, it'll be hard.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Delicious. He'd kill himself by the afternoon. Yeah, it's pretty unhealthy. Chicken pot pie. It's delicious. I can't remember the last time I had a pot pie. I think Beck is making this for dinner tonight. Chicken pot pie?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
What would happen on this show? It would be 45 minutes. Well, here's why. Here's why it would be 45 minutes. Because yours would be like an... And you're doing it and I haven't even worn it. What is it? Amy DeLeon? Amy DeLeon? Or fucking Kith. They'd be Kith Bow Bowls. Right. That's why it would be funny because you would spend money on it. This was a gift from a butcher.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Now this is getting weird. How did it know that? Imagine the next one is just like, we see you, Joey. All right. So that's Greg. So what about Ahmed?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Chicken tenders. Well, it won't have to change his diet.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Wow. What a perfect. Chicken tenders and they can only be from Uber Eats.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
But it's also a lot of fried food. Yeah. I'd air fry mine. Make it somewhat healthier. It won't be that much, but yeah. That's pretty good. All right, who's next? Mikey. Chicken. Oh, my God. If this is not just a handful of spinach, he's going to— Kiwi?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I love kiwi, man. You a kiwi guy? You a kiwi boy? That's all right. I don't really love kiwi.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I think it's probably the most visually appealing fruit.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
No, kiwi's way cooler looking. What the hell? The inside. Dude, you cut open this green ball and it's just candy red? Dude, you cut open a brown ball and it's like green and like liney.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
What about the surprise color of a dragon fruit? You ever cut open a pink dragon fruit? Those are weird, yeah. They're like neon pink sometimes. Dragon fruit is not good. It tastes like zero. I don't know why people are like, this is so.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I've never had it and been like delicious. I've had it and just said nothing.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
All right. So who else we got? Zach. Let's see what Zach's going to eat for the rest of his life.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I wouldn't agree with that. Zach's going to get weak. Chicken tenders, I would say. I'd be pumped, but I'd be dead.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
No way. The worst fruit is honeydew? Absolutely not. No. No. Dragon fruit's worse than that. Way worse. You don't like honeydew. Papaya is worse. Hell, papaya tastes... Gross. I also think that pomegranate is wildly overrated. I disagree. I love pomegranate. I don't dislike it, but I think that people are- It is a bit of a hassle to eat.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I don't want to have a fruit that's crunchy because you got to eat basically the seed. Yo, the seeds in a honeydew, I hate that shit. Yeah, it's just slimy. Ugh. What was the movie where the dude was having sex with a honeydew or a cantaloupe? Good luck, Chuck. With what's his name? Dane Cook? Yeah. The dude who's having sex. He'd microwave a cantaloupe and then fuck it. That's true. Crazy.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Doesn't sound like it wouldn't work. Just saying. All right. I mean, we got to see what yours is again. Let's do another one for Ant.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
That's a blanket statement. That could be Italian sausage. It could be bratwurst. It could be. Bratwurst. It could be. What's the other one? The other, like, European sausage.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Oh, kielbasa. Kielbasa. Kielbasa. It could be technically a hot dog.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
That's right. The meat could be anything. Remember we had that rabbit sausage that time for your birthday dinner? Was that rabbit sausage? That was really good. All right. One more for Joe.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Frank's having fun. I am having fun. Onion rings. I'm going to blow my head off. It will be dead. I hate onion rings. Good. Joe, you got white. Well, that's what you get, bitch. You had white chicken chili. Now you get a side. That's tough. Now I get a side of onion rings. I'll say this. Onion rings, way better than french fries as a side. Way better.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Do you not expect a shirt from a butcher to include some form of nudity? No. Are you? I have no expectation of what that even could possibly look like. I fully disagree. I think that.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Are you saying that to just like rile people up? No, I'm saying that- You think that onion rings are better than french fries? A million times out of a million. Ant, please. I need something.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I'm always in the mood for onion rings, brother. Fries are overrated. Frank, that is so crazy to say. Why?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You get more flavor with an onion ring than you do a french fry. And they're cool rings. That's so wild. How is that wild? I don't know. To me, that's bananas. It's crazy. Better than every fry? I will say, personally... You can season fries. Yeah, but you can also season onion rings to make them even better. You get the flavor of the onion. It's too much. Do you like Bloomin' Onions too?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Dude, I know someone that like went. This is a true story. They were like hungry and they like ordered two Bloomin' Onions from Outback and just like that was their meal. And then they got through the first one and they were like, I probably shouldn't eat the second one. And they like gave it to their neighbor. or something like that, but I know that they definitely ordered two.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Hey, I was gonna eat this, but I'm full off my first onion. Listen, I understand, I see the value of fries, and I understand that there is a hierarchy to fries. Waffle, crinkle cut, shoestring, steakhouse. You know, personally, though, I'm getting an onion ring over a fry any day. Let's see what Frank's side is. Sure. Last one. Tart-tart- What is that? That looks like pizza.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Oh, that looks like it's like an upside down like a pear thing. I think I've heard like go to the ingredients. It's like a it's like a dessert. It's savory. I think it's pear and they like cook it and caramelize it or something.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
What's his name? Gordon Ramsay made this once. He's like. All right, you fucking dog. Here's how you make the world's best tartattan. All right? Fuck it, baby. All right, so there's apples. I don't like cooked fruit, though. I will say that. That's not bad. I hate cooked fruit. Bet you wish you had an onion ring. I do. Can't have it. No, you can't have a tartattan, bitch.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I didn't even know it existed until now. Yeah. Anyway, there you have it, folks. That is all for this week's episode. Frank and his bull balls will be back. The bull balls might not make it back. I will be, hopefully. Right. Where can they find you, Frank? Falvers885 on Twitter. The Frank Alvarez on all other forms of social media. And go check out the Patreon.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard and TheBasementYard on all forms of social media so you can come hang out with us and live the dream.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
A dog with a rubber ball in the side of his mouth. This is so stupid. Just like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you need a nod.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
That's very good. Good job. Comedy. I'll be very honest with you. I love this butcher. I threw this shirt on this morning and I was like, you know what? I am going to wear it in because I want to support local business. Good. Unlike some people here. Joe, by the way, just tried to legally change his middle name to Elon. That's true. That's what he tried to do. I didn't make that joke.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
What a combination. A can of spinach and a cigar.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I fucking hate that guy. Annoys me to no end. Um, but. I, I, I, if you're wearing a shirt from a butcher, you don't expect there to be something obscene on it. You know, how many, if I had told you that one of the people at the butcher.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Because they're butchers. Yeah, what does that mean? They're delis. They're just kind of like, they're all, you know, they're sweaty.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
So yeah, so you walk in. By the way. Is there cows? What a great plug they're getting. Yeah, but like you can like. No, but you go in the back and they have like their meat cut out and laid out. And it's like, here's the chicken. Do they kill the animals there though? I don't think they kill them there. But they get them and they cut them up there.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
They get full animals and they're like, we're going to cut. This is getting made in a couple of rib eyes. Ribs. This is going to be all of it. Yo, it's kind of crazy to have it in you to like kill animals all day. I don't think the butchers kill the animals. They just get the carcasses. I mean, you carve them.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
That is pretty crazy. It's like a science. Like, you ever see that thing in any... Well, you don't go to butchers because you're not as elevated as I am. I've been to a butcher before. You're going to a deli. It's not even a butcher. Well, they also have a deli section where they have their pure meat. I'm not trying to shit on this fucking... This place is literally amazing.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
But I go to this butcher. You also have dead animals on the walls. You know how... And they have a choo-choo train.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And it was like, yeah, it escaped from the butcher. That's kind of cool. I once saw there was a poultry place, which is a chicken butcher. What do you think? I'm in second grade. You think I'm an idiot? I'm not explaining it to you. I'm explaining it to our millennial audience that doesn't even know what a- Millennial? That's 30 years old, Frank.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah, the cat drags a lot of stuff. What do they drag? Like animals? Like mice? Dude, we used to fight. My cat used to kill mice and put them in my sister's shoes. Birds, bats.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
If you don't know poultry by now- Gen Z. Then the show has killed you. Gen Z? Who's the current one? Gen AA? Gen... Wait, do we go... Where do you go from Gen Z? You go back to A, baby. You go AA. Gen Alpha. They call him Gen AA or Gen Alpha or something like that. No one's watching us who's seven years old? Bro, I get cameo requests. From seven-year-olds?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Bro, and it's like, can you please wish my son a happy birthday? It's his 12th birthday. He loves the show. That's unbelievable. That is crazy. Also... I stand corrected. Don't... Well, thank you, but like... Yeah. Yeah. Bull balls. You know what I'm saying?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
They just saw an animal's nuts. I'm just saying here. Oh, so the poultry place. It was near where I went to middle school, and it was under the train, and I watched someone legitimately. I remember it as clear as day. No. They went to, like, under the train pigeons, bagged them up, and went into the poultry place. Swear. Swear. That's got to be a Leagues. If it's not. It should. It should be.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I would have called. I would have snitched. I mean, now listen. Pigeon, known as squab, is a delicacy in other countries.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
If you were to tell me. That what I was eating was a New York pigeon? Forget it. You couldn't. There's no way, dude.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah. But I would go to another country and eat their pigeon. Whose? Whose country do you think has the best pigeons? France? I would love a French pigeon. I would. Because the name itself is already French. Bichon. Is something going on? You keep shushing us.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Oh, he's just... He's in contemplative thought. I'm so pensive. Fuck off. The name itself is French. Bichon. Yeah. Is it?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And if I'm right, if I'm right, you have to kiss the bull balls on my back. What exactly am I saying? Is pigeon French? Is pigeon French.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Where is the country of origin? Have you never watched the spelling bee? is pigeon French. Pigeon is a French word. Kiss the balls, bitch. Come on. I'm not kissing those balls. Kiss these nuts. For a peeping chick, while dove is ultimately a Germanic word, possibly referring to the bird's diving flight. Wow. Did you know that?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I loved it It was a cute sense of you loved finding bats in your sneakers Well, I didn't find them in my sneakers. They were mostly in my sister's stuff. This is true this cat to prank your sister No, well, it was like a sign of love. That's what cats do it. They do it as like we love you I brought you a bat dogs do that shit to dogs. Don't bring me a bat. They'll bring you ducks ducks
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Dude, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the word pigeon is French. Why? Because you just, why? Because you look at it and you see like, oh, it has like similar French spelling to like other, like pigeon. I got nothing. I've been completely derailed on my ass. And patisserie. Pigeon. I'm right. I know you are. Your reasoning feels wrong, but you got it right.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I'm a little offended that you don't like my butcher slash deli shirt. It's not that I don't like it. I think that it's a funny shirt. Thank you. I'm saying if I wore it, I'm saying we live two different lives.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Yeah. you know, through the cities of Brazil, you know, we're going to drive this Dodge Ram through the sewers of the city. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
That's right. You are. Because look at what's behind you. A Polaroid picture and a fake award. Behind me is Power Rangers, T, and Game Boy. I'm confused about what point you're making. Because I think people expect a little bit more of eclectiveness. Eclecticity? From who? Me or you? Me. You? You're the eclectic one? You don't think I'm the eclectic one that collects Power Rangers, dude?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
The Mustang, the Ford Mustang over this broken bridge, which has been JP certified and gotten the, what's that fucking award thing that they do? The JP power and associates certified as the best muscle car. Best three years in a row. Three years in a row.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
That's it. And T. And is wearing... You, Frank, you're the one... First of all... Yeah, and he's wearing a unicorn kitty cat on his neck. Frank, you're the one who always says that, here we go, this Joe, oh, that Joe, oh, this Joe, that Joe. That sounds like an eclectic guy. You're, I don't think you are eclectic. Eclectic, eclectic, eclectic. I think your hobbies are more mainstream hobbies.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Oh, man, if only we had some Getty premium unleaded gasoline, which is always the cheapest on the market.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
What does that mean? Personal health. You're into Marvel, the highest grossing movies of all time, real mainstream. But bitch, sorry, sorry, I'm pulling back the bitch, back bitch. I was into that before all that stuff. And you know it. I had the Marvel trading cards and the X-Men trading cards in the 90s. You know it. Oh, so comic books and the creation of cartoons isn't mainstream.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
This moment calls for an ice cold drink of the Rocky Mountains. Coors Light.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Prior to where it currently is. Sure, it's grown. It is grown. But what I'm saying is like, if I started getting into that stuff after it became mainstream, I could see your argument. And what are you like, baseball? America's pastime?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I'm not saying that every hobby or thing I like is eclectic, but I would think the people generally will agree that I am a little bit more eclectic than you, if not significantly more. Fix your chain. The other one. Well, they'll believe it because you've created narratives on this show that only exist here. You know what's funny, though? Yeah. None of my narratives are fake, though. Really?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
All right, listen up. The only way we can get through this mob of bad guy drivers is if we're fueled by the champagne of beers. Miller High Life.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Frank, you create narratives all the time about how I am a—if I say the words, we'll get demonetized.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You're right. You're right. You're right. That is obviously fake. Right. But about me and my eclecticity is not fake. It is a legitimate, true, real thing. I'm the salt of the earth, baby. Like, I am the people's people. I think that's why people like this show. See, this is the narrative I'm talking about. See, this is the narrative that I'm talking about.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
So, like, this is where we start to get into, like, all right. I think that's why people enjoy the show because they get one percenter. Right. Corporate Joe and then they get a alcoholic. I never said that and I would never I'm saying right now. I never said Yeah, right today today.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You've never seen those? Duck hunt! Duck hunt dog! My brother... Oh, like bloodhounds. Yeah, but I don't think it's just the bloodhounds. I don't know. But my brother's dog, he has a husky.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Dancing to Bobby Shmurda on a couch. Like, it's a sick video. It was. But like, this is what you've done. Yes. You're lush. What do you like to do? Drink? I know. The world knows, Joey, that I am a jokester. So all of, but back to what you just said. You are. I am. A very disciplined young man who takes his personal health very seriously. Now he's doing this now.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
welcome back to the base welcome back to the basement yard frank you seem like you're focused on something well joey i am the danger i am the one who knocks frank's watching breaking bad at home and that's pretty evident It is a problem. I'll admit it. When I get into shows, they become my whole personality sometimes. And that's okay. So you're going to start cooking meth?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Okay. Like when you're peeing into a toilet, when you get near the end of your piss, you're like, I'm going to flush this and I'm going to finish my pee before it's done flushing.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Why don't you... Hey, brother, watch this. You need to grow up. Toilet seat. Down.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I mean, that's okay. That's okay to be a little afraid of a germ... Listen, public bathrooms... You couldn't convince me to eat in there. You're talking old Frankie dry hands over there. There's a lot of hand sanitizer that goes on those things. Yeah, you know how I feel. And I've been in some disgusting public bathrooms. I have too. Let me be very clear.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
There was one one time where I was driving through, for my old job, a very industrially area where there's a lot of shipping and 18-wheelers loading up and stuff like that. And I looked on my phone like bathrooms near me and it was without exaggeration just a stone building in the middle of like Newark, New Jersey. Perfect. And I went in there and it was a sight.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
What you would imagine a murder to be staged for. Like it was like ridiculous. You raw dog toilets? No, I prefer not to. What does I prefer not to mean? I mean, if the setup is going to be just as difficult, you know what I mean? So you won't make a little, you know, like a bird's nest and then take a shit on that? Yeah, no, I don't like that. Wait, is it you? Oh, God, he got him. Don't do that.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
one little switch and it's like you make mustard gas instead of meth or something like that. That's what I mean. Yeah, you die. That's not good. Yeah, but I would like to wear a gas mask. Those are cool. I'm trying to think if I ever wore a gas mask. Bro, I used to think that gas masks were so cool.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Tell him about that. Wait, what? He'll throw a bunch of toilet paper into the toilet. You said tell him, and then you decided to tell me. I broke the rules immediately. He knows. He got it. He got it. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Genius. Very smart. It makes a little bed for it. That's stinky, though. No, it's not. It's paper. Raw dogging. Your shit is in the air, brother. That's what I'm saying. You have air shit.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Like, if it's in the water, it kind of masks the smell a little bit.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You have big mud pies out in the open. You're literally just holding it like this. You might as well shit and then put your face next to it. Literally. I courtesy flush. You're not worried about the air of your shit? You courtesy flush raw shit.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
No, I'm just saying. It's like, so you've established, this is the grossest episode, also a weekly episode, can we add?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
And then you flush and it's like... It might be close because sometimes when you flush, it comes up and goes down a little bit. So like... What is your concern?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
No, no, no. I'm saying the water. The water levels, they fill up a little bit and then they go down. Oh, you think that the poop's going to hit it? It might hit your ass. Bro, that ain't happening. You might get... Who do you think he's at? Tyrannosaurus Rex?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Dung beetles, by the way, cool, but ill. I mean, I applaud their determination and work ethic. I can't say much about, you know. You ever think about a dog and how it loves piss and shit? Because the thing that you just said, right? And I think about this all the time when I'm walking my dog. He loves to pee on other dogs' pee. Is that like graffiti?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
it's like a I fucking this is my because they because it's like graffiti you know like they say like not just graffiti and they go yeah yeah that was disrespect so is he disrespecting like hell yeah because that's their scent that's how they mark their territory so you take my piss and it's like this is my fucking hydrant now and then someone else says that and you're just like damn that's not mine anymore bro the dog dogs and dogs are like members of the cartel you know what I'm saying like
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Well, because you were like a Banksy, you know, kid who like, you know, let me guess, you love the picture of Banksy throwing the flowers and you want a gas mask because it's culture and it's anti-art. And Virgil Abloh would like it because of Off-White. I'm shocked you know that, Virgil. Virgil, like, did Off-White. R.I.P. Yeah. Make that very clear. I'm not speaking ill of the, of this man.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You impede on their territory. They're going to get upset about it. I have watched numerous times. A dog will walk over to a tree, pee on it. My dog will see that, run right over, piss right on it. Yeah. And dogs always have, I remember when we had a dog, they always have a little bit of piss to spare. Just enough to just be like little petty little bitches.
The Basement Yard
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Even if he doesn't have piss, he'll go through the motions and just be like, leg up, got nothing, keep going.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I mean, piss is very potent with its odor. But no piss will come out. He'll just lift his leg. No, but even one drop. You know what they say. One drop of blood in the ocean, a shark will smell it. One drop of dog piss on a park bench. The other dogs will know. You're not hearing what I'm saying. I'm saying no piss comes out. I'm saying that you're probably not inspecting close enough.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Or you're wrong. It's possible. Highly unlikely. Because I'm walking the dog every day and I see it. Highly unlikely that I'm wrong. Right, it's unlikely. But it's possible. And I respect the possibility, but I also honor the improbability of my being wrong. I don't even know how to do all. I don't know how to unpack what you just said. Love that sweater. Thank you. Really good sweater.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You have a new chain. What is that? Is that a cat? Yeah, Ruby gave it to me. She went to the jewelry store and bought you some jewelry? She got kids playtime jewelry. It's a kitty cat? It's a little unicorn. Oh, it's a unicorn. It's a unicorn. You know what I thought that was at first? What? You know, like the namaste hand thing?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
There's something going on here. With the eye in the middle. What if I just came in and had radically different spiritual beliefs?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I mean, I think that would be very interesting. Yeah, I've never been a very spiritual person. So, like, if I come in and I start talking about, like, God or something, like, you know. It wouldn't shock me. Yeah, I mean, maybe one day in my life. I think there will come a time. Probably. Because I'm afraid. Right. That's what I'm, yeah. I'm afraid of a lot of things.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Yeah, I think you're going to be like, one day I have to, like, I have to. I have to because if I don't, then I'm in trouble. Yeah, because if I think about... Not. Not. Then. My father-in-law put it best. My father and my father-in-law has a really strong connection to his faith. And he says like, if I'm wrong, I lived life as a good person anyways. And I was like, good for you.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You know, there's some certain beliefs I don't like, but like, Maybe one day we'll cross it. That's everyone's problem with religion, honestly. We'll cross that down the road. Yeah, now that we've talked about religion, how about we get to the end? Oh, and religion and Nazis and drugs. Forgot about all that stuff. What an episode.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
you guys want to build a website you're gonna do that with Squarespace trust me okay it is the best platform to create your website they have a bunch of templates to make sure that your website is a great first impression for any customers or possible customers that come to your website like I said they have these templates they make it very easy you just click on one of them it kind of populates a website and you just switch out the text and the photos and things like that and you have yourself a great looking website in a fraction of the time
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I've done both. I've used Squarespace. I've used other platforms where you kind of have to build it out for yourself. It takes way longer, doesn't look as good, and it doesn't have the same amount of tools that Squarespace gives you in order to optimize your traffic. It'll let you know where your traffic is coming from and how to double down on that. You know, it's important.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Having a website is important. For those of you who have an e-commerce business, you know that. Anyone who makes content or anything like that, you need a good website. So there you go. Squarespace, everything that we do with every website that we make, we do with Squarespace as well. And right now you can head to squarespace.com slash basement for a free trial.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
When you're ready to launch, use the offer code basement to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay, so head to squarespace.com slash basement. And when you're ready to launch, use that offer code basement. You will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay, and we also have Rocket Money. Rocket Money is...
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Uh, no, I, when I was like very young, I think I just, I was just really into that. I went from like ninjas to like gas masks, masks, a lot of masks. Yeah. I could see that. I can see why. You know, I think it probably is like an inner personality trait. Like it's something that you want to find a new mask to wear because the masks that we wear are what we allow people to see of us.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
is an all-in-one personal finance app that is going to put money back in your pocket by finding and canceling unwanted subscriptions that you may or may not have signed up for. Maybe you signed up for a free trial at some point in your life and that expired and now you've been paying $8 to $11 a month and you didn't even really realize that you're doing that.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
or when you go on rocket money you will see all of it organized and then you'll start to realize oh there are a bunch of things here that i paid for at some point but i haven't used in a very long time so i'm going to cancel those ultimately putting that money back in your pocket and we're talking about recurring things every single month so not this doesn't just cost 11 this is over the course of a whole year so you could be saving all that money and there's other uh
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
features as well. There's a budgeting tool. So to make sure that you're being financially responsible, you want to set a budget for yourself. If you want to start saving money, be like, okay, I'm only going to spend this much money this month. You put it on your app, you put in all your purchases to make sure that you're being responsible.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
They also have a feature that you can upload a picture of your bill. And if they can lower it, they will help you do that. So it's all about putting money back in your pocket. Great thing too. And for anyone out there who thinks that they don't have any unwanted subscriptions. It's just a good tool to have to make sure, okay, to check.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
And it has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the app's premium features. So, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash basement today. That is rocketmoney.com slash basement. Might as well have the money. Don't waste it.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Go to rocketmoney.com slash basement today. Yeah, and guess what? While you're on your personal journey, whatever that may entail, let us come along with you. Go to patreon.com slash thebasemanyard and continue to support us if you are or... Hop on, hop on, hop on the ship. You know, have a good time. You sign up for Patreon. That first year you get these weekly episodes a week in advance.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
That's right, seven whole days. And then exclusive episodes every single Friday morning with that second tier. It's a fun time. We tell you guys about it every week. Specifically, I do because Joey, while I am doing this, he's off camera holding a gun to my head. So go check it out. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Thank you guys for all the love and all the support. We appreciate it.
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#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
And we're... Really excited for what 2025 brings our way. Also, will this come out?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
for when we're in europe so if you're coming in these shows in glasgow london or dublin thebasementyard.com slash submit we're going to be over there for some shows we're really excited we hope you guys are too if you're coming to them uh and uh if you uh submit a question you know an answer to the questionnaire that we have we might talk to you about you whatever or you don't need to we can keep it we can keep it private but we like the shows that are a little uh
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
We talk with you. You talk with us sometimes. So go check it out, thebaseofnear.com slash submit. Thank you. And I think that at this point in the episode, I would love to talk about big scandal going around right now. The Girl Scout cookies are killing the population, apparently. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Allegedly. Allegedly. Oh, my God.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
He's done. The girls are getting him. The scouts. Oh, my God. What would you do if they hand-delivered a subpoena as, like, fully dressed up as girl scouts? Can you imagine? You know, I never understood that, where it's like, you got served. Like, people just, like, escape. Oh, I used to do it for my old job all the time. Like, why are people escaping that?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
And there are the masks that we don't wear at home or when we're feeling the most comfortable with our loved ones, with the people in our lives that enjoy us the most, that see us as we naturally, really, truly are. Like, for instance.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Like, dude, you're going to get these papers. I've served a lot of people. But, like, do they run away from you? So, all the times that I did it was at their home. So, you basically, like, I would go up, I would knock on the door, and I would say... Hi, I'm looking for Joe Santagato. And if it's Joe, he'd be like, yeah, that's me. He'd be like, I have the subpoena for you.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I didn't do the, you're being served. I was never told I had to. I think I might've said it at points, but like. You've never like just walked up to someone on the street and be like. Roger. Here you go, Roger. No, no, no, no. It was all, it was all like homes and stuff. And then there were times where it was like, you know, like I had driven like two and a half hours to wherever I had to be.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
And I told my boss, like, I can't sit here and wait for the person and get home. And it's like, all right, well then you give it to the, whoever you give it to get their name and their information. And then you have to provide something called an affidavit of service, which basically just says like, I serve this subpoena on your behalf to this person. And, um,
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I think there was like one or two times where the person was just like, I'm not fucking touching this. And what I was taught was just like, okay, you don't need to. I am giving it to you. You don't have to take it. I'm leaving it here. What you choose to do with it is on you. I would love to serve somebody. It was not as glamorous as you thought. I'd make it glamorous.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You'd be like a little bitch. I'd stalk. You'd be a little bitch about it. That's crazy. I would stake out is what I meant. I did a surveillance. A cup of coffee and a cigarette just outside when he gets home. I, so it wasn't my job traditionally, but I was one time asked to do a surveillance and like, it was literally like sit here, like a private investigator.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
It was just, so it was for a subpoena, but it was sit here, wait until this person gets home. And then when they get home, hit them with the subpoena. And it was cool on July 3rd of the year. And I was trying to like, I had learned about it that morning. We were going to be leaving to go to the lake. Oh, and I was just like, hopefully they come home. They did not.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You were followed. I was good. I was good. I was good. I was inconspicuous. Anyway, apparently this thing came out, you know, girl scout cookies, very popular, but apparently they did a test on the cookies and in a hundred percent of the samples, they were some form of metal.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Is Batman the mask or is Bruce Wayne the mask? That's a great question, Joey. I love that you can't come up with an example that isn't a comic book reference. All right. Let's use another. The Flash, Superman. No, no, no, no, no, no. Stanley Ipkiss. Who is the mask there? Is it Stanley Ipkiss or is it the Loki mask that he finds at the bottom of the water?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Allegedly. We don't know what the deal is. We don't know if this is true or if it's not true or what the deal is, but there is an ongoing investigation, and there's 100% of the samples they're saying have traces of metal. I will say this. If you had asked me, I would have said they had traces of crack because, boy, oh, boy, once I pop, I cannot stop. This is just my opinion.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I honestly think... I think Girl Scout cookies are overrated. You're bananas. I don't think they're bad. I think they're overrated. I think people are like, oh, I need 10 boxes. They're fine. Well, it's because the boxes are cheap-ish, I guess, and... I don't know, dude.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I will say whoever was just like, let's get these little kids to peddle the cookies.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I recently bought Girl Scout cookies for like a family member. What's your favorite one? I was going to say the old name, but apparently they're not called Samoa's anymore. They're called caramel delights. And then they have these little ones that are like French toast. What? Whoa, dude. Yeah. Hell yeah. I'm into French toast. Hell yeah. Do you like Girl Scout cookies? A couple.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I don't like Thin Mints. They can go ahead and die a fiery death. Thin Mints suck.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
So much. Triple suck. It's insane. And they're probably the most popular. People love them. They are disgusting to me. I think we did an episode. We did a video, a Standing Out of Studios video, what was more popular, Thin Mints?
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#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
No, it was him. No. Yeah, because it was like the one where it was like the rock and it's like zero or one or something like that. I was there for that. Dumber than a box of rocks. Something like that. Or maybe it was another one, but I forgot what is... I did a Tate...
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
No, no, no, but I'm saying we did an episode or something, and it was just like, thin mints are the most popular, true or false, or something like that. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, they're whack. But, I mean, anything chocolate and mint flavored can go ahead and just do what it needs to do. Mint chocolate chip ice cream? Garbage. Garbage. Absolute pee-pee. Basura. Absolute basura. Yeah, see...
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
No, I think Caramel Delights are the best. Those are good. Tagalongs are good. What the hell is a tagalong? It's the peanut butter ones. Hell no. Yeah, you hate that combination, but it's good. Hell no.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Adventurefuls. These cookies are newer edition featuring a crispy cookie with a caramel and peanut butter filling.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
That doesn't sound bad. I will say, great job naming them, except the Samoans were upset about that. Those are good. Our peanut butter. What's with all the peanut butter, guys?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I'm just noticing that. What's with all the peanut butter?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Well, look up the French toast ones. Those are fucking bananas. Also, I'm not... Can you just type in Girl Scout flavors? Girl Scout... Girl Scout cookie flavor. I think everyone knew what you meant. All right. Thank you. You never know. Out of context. Yeah. You know what's good? And I know I'm going to get shit for this. Meat and cookies. Way to go, Girl Scouts. I can't.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Why are we attacking Girl Scouts? We is crazy. I feel like you were saying something. Adventureful. The do-si-dos are great. Caramel delights are great. Those are good. Caramel chocolate chip I've never had. Adventure Falls look interesting.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I hate lemon-flavored baked goods. I hate that. I hate it because it's not... It's just overly lemony.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
It's not like a hint of lemon. Yeah, give me some zest. Zest me, but don't fucking like... I love a good zest.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Zest all over me. Yeah. Go down? Gotcha. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
94, yeah. The 94 smash hit, Jim Carrey in The Mask. The Mask. He had three movies that year. The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, and the first Ace Ventura.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Big year for big old teeth Jim. Well, he didn't have big teeth. No, he's gone. Do you think if you were to create your own drug? We're back to the drugs, by the way. Are you doing meth? Right. Are you going something a little less... You just said create your own drug. Oh, you mean like cook it? Like you can cook it or make it, you know? Oh.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. , , , , , ,, P P P P P P P P P P gi ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ag ac aut P P P P P P , , , , , ,, P P P P P P P P P P P P autplplplplplplplpl ag ag ag ag ag G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G P
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I saw once there was a video of Gordon Ramsay when people were making cocaine. You know how like certain people get to it just like... Gordon Ramsay was making cocaine? He was with people that were making cocaine. He was with people making cocaine? Yeah, it was like one of those... You ever see those like documentaries? I'm picturing him. You dickhead! Yeah.
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#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
and i was a bad angry man that day i honestly like this is happening with i the tv that we have i wanted to put i i needed the original legs for it because i don't want to hang it up on a on a what's it called a bracket yeah so i just want to put it on the legs so i had to go to the company and be like can you ship me the legs they're like yeah they're like good news they're in stock cool the
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Like, if you're going to send me the things that I asked for a month after, send me an extra pair immediately. so I could throw them in the ocean. This is why I don't like shopping online.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Right. So when Becca gets something, I'm like, is it for me? I was like, do you mind if I open it? You haven't opened anything. She's like, yes, you can open it. And I open it. I'm like, Whoa, what is this?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You know, but bro, I recently bought something for Becca for Valentine's day.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I fucking buy it. Ten minutes later, I get an email. It's back ordered. I can't. And I'm like, and it's like, we'll let you know when your shipment is ready.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I hate that. I just, I hate. What is back order? I just spit.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
They get me so angry. At least be transparent if it's a pre-order. Tell me when. If I'm not expecting this, I'm not getting until summer, make a pre-order, I'm fine with that. I hate when people use business terms when they're like, pre-order this ship's Q1. And it's like, just fucking tell me what month.
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#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Don't narrow it down to a fucking 25% of the year. If you're going to do a pre-order, Be transparent with me. Tell me how many weeks. Tell me if it's going to be months or if I'm going to get this in 2035. I just want some transparency. Don't tell me like pre-order. We'll figure it out. I can't do this.
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#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
But also, and I know I'm probably going to get flack for this because I know that there's like actual logistics that go into this. If I pre-order something... There's no reason that you should cap the pre-order unless you're doing it for art purposes. What does that mean? I remember there was a company I was looking at. They had a really cool watch, and it was on pre-order.
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#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
And it was like, oh, our pre-orders have exceeded the limit. And it's like, order more. Order more. Well, they're making them. I know. But order more. Have them make more. I know.
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#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Literally by hand. Him and his elves. Is that offensive toward... No, it's fine. Okay. Him and his... The elven men. The elven... Well, elven women can contribute if they choose. And elven women. You know, I'm assuming the elven women do a lot over there. Well, boy, what's that mean? What do you mean? Is that... Is that okay to say? That elven women are working hard in the North Pole? Yeah.
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#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Why would that be bad to say? I don't know. I just want to be careful and make sure we're not accidentally offending the elves in the North Pole.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Make them. They're pre-ordered months out as it is. But they're also probably doing a pre-order. And I know there's an actual answer for this. I know that. But it's not your problem. I'm a customer. I get to be angry. The customer's always right. Rule one. Rule two. Rule two. If it's in stock and then suddenly becomes backorder, give me a discount. Because I bought this under false pretenses.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
If this was backordered, I wouldn't even dream of ordering it.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Buying something backordered? What do you think I am, a bitch?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
They're fucking your wife in front of you, Joey. Legitimately. And then they're like, we'll let you know when we're done. Or it's like, oh, you want this? You can totally have it. I give them the money and say, well, I'll decide when to get it to you, though. Companies, we're on to you. And we're not, we're going to be the one to break the fucking... Snake oil salesman pieces of shit. Hell yeah.
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#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
No dignity, no respect, or loyalty to your customers. And I'm going to do you one better, you goddamn...
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
It's too raw. It was pork. That's what it was. You don't want raw pork. That can be a little dangerous. When I was in Europe, I ordered pork and the guy was like, we do it red here. I was like, what? He's like, yeah, I'm just letting you know. I was like, I don't have the stomach. I'm an American. So cook the fuck out of it. Red pork. Yeah, that's how they serve it there. No, no, no.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
If you have a thing on your website that's like, sign up for alerts of when it comes back in stock. I better get one email from your company. You don't. And it better be when it's back in stock.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
We'll email you when it's back in stock. Go to hell. Don't send me an email. Don't ever go out of stock. You know business people. Call them. Let them know we're on to them. Let them know that we have figured them out.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I'm not going to start cooking meth. Do you think you'd be good at cooking meth? No, because I have no knowledge of chemistry. Although, I will say this. It's probably just like cooking. I am confident enough. What are you doing?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Cut me off while I'm singing High School Musical bananas. Just go. You look like Dylan Efron today. Who's that? Zac Efron's brother. Don't know him. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. If you want to get into therapy, you can do so with BetterHelp. They make it customizable. They make it very easy to talk to a therapist.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Just under 48 hours, so it's a quick turnaround. They also make it very easy for you to jump from therapist to therapist so that you can find the right fit for you.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
that is a very important part of the onboarding process you can't just talk to someone who you're kind of uncomfortable with you want to find someone who you feel like understands you so it's important that you are picky when it comes to your therapist okay they have a bunch of therapists that are that specialize in different things so you know if you have problems with a relationship or
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
you know, some sort of trauma or something like that, you can find someone that has some sort of specialty to help you, you know, sort of narrow it down. And like I said, it's customizable, so you can do it as frequently or as infrequently as you would like. If you want to do it every week, every other week, bi-monthly, whatever the case may be, you can do so.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
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The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
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The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Now I find myself opening my underwear drawer and I will dig to find these skims underwear. Okay. I just realized right now, as I said, dig through my underwear drawer that I have too much underwear because I will only put this on my body now. It is too comfortable. It is breathable. It's nice.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
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The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
And skims, you know, for a while people thought this is just for women, but it looks very comfortable. Wish they were for men. Boom, they are. Okay? And I'm telling you, I've worn them. Frankie's worn them. Ant's worn them. Everybody's wearing them.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
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The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I don't like that. Bro, I did see what, there was like a place in like Japan that did like chicken sashimi. You have a better chance. That's bananas. Of me eating a whole thing of mustard. Like I'm not, that's crazy. But back to the. Wait, one second. On Japan. I don't know if it's Japan. Feels like Japan. You ever see the videos of them making that omelet? That's like wet. Hell yeah.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
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The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
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The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
let's just let's just where were we by the way oh we yelled oh my god i want to ask you a question oh my god okay saw this thing on tiktok and stop me if you've seen it okay stop me if you've seen it be fucking honest all right okay fuck whoa jesus let me ask you a precursor there's a lot of questions being thrown at me right now there's only gonna be two one how much do you think you pee a day we're back on piss heavy on the big p episode yeah it's huge boys be pissing
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
This is the thumbnail. Right. The pissing dogs. Don't do that. Pissing boys. No. How much do you think you pee a day? Fluid ounces. Or pints or gallons? I would say I probably pee a gallon of piss a day. Damn, that's crazy. I've been really good with my water intake. Nice. For like the last couple months. I've been consistently drinking at least a gallon of water every day. Wow.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
That's why I always have that smart water bottle. Because it's a quart bottle. Okay. So was that four of those? Four of those a day. That's it, babe. Now let me ask you. Okay. Just so you know, I don't know where my TikTok algorithm has led me. It definitely has not led me to piss. So I think we're safe. Really, baby? We're here right now.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Wow. Too many people. That's a ton of people. That's way too many. Everyone at the same time pissing. I've never seen or been to the Grand Canyon. Like a normal pee, too. I know.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Just a normal average pee. Yep. Oh, man. How big is the Grand Canyon? I don't even know how to answer that. Big? Big is my answer. All right. I would say if everyone on Earth, they're on the edge of the Grand Canyon, we're all pissing. And we're assuming that the Grand Canyon is lined with a non-absorbent material. No evaporation. So it's going to be like a pool liner. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
How long would it take to fill up the Grand Canyon if it had a pool liner with human piss? Right. I would say a billion people, man. I would say... Eight billion. Eight billion people. Yeah, yeah. I would say maybe like a month. Right? That's what I thought. Yeah, I'd say a month. Hands shaking his head.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You're telling me there's a viral video going around, but you know about this piss-filled thing? You're just a piss guy. Just a piss guy. Dude, so the amount that you can fit in the Grand Canyon is 1.2 quadrillion gallons? Is that 24 zeros or 40 zeros?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
It's a cool video, but I'm not eating that. I've tried it and I. What? Where? In my home. What do you mean where? Oh, I thought you went and tried it at a restaurant.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
So if every – so 8 billion gallons a day, that's a lot of gallons, brother. So on average, apparently, people piss a half gallon, which is still a lot of pee. Yeah. I would imagine I pee probably a half gallon too because I retain some of the water I drink. Yeah. I think – So this is what this says. Is the math 100% correct? Not for me to decide here. I mean, you're not a mathematician.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Maybe a thousand years. Here's the thing. With questions like this, you're either criminally under what the answer is, like we are with a month, or you're outlandishly over. Here's the thing. Thousand years sounds way more like realistic. 800,000 years? I feel like I could fill it in at 800,000 years.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Well, first of all, you ain't living to be 800,000, Joey. I'm saying in a wizard life where I could live that long and pee. That's a lot of years. I guess I never knew how big is the Grand Canyon, dude.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I've tried to make it because it's like... You make it with chopsticks? I tried using chopsticks and... How many attempts? Three? Oh, one attempt because it failed gloriously. Got it. But like they like cook it and then they like fold it and they roll it and then they like cut it over rice. Cutting it is very cool. Apparently that's like the originator of it, the founder of those omelets. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
If it's taking this long to fill, it would piss. It can't be that big. They've got to be doing some math incorrectly. I did go on Reddit because I was like, let's see. Oh, it must be real on there. No, no, no. This is a video that went viral. So I went on Reddit to see... Or I was looking it up to make sure I had the numbers correct. And then I saw a Reddit link. And then someone did math.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
And they were like, I think this thing is off.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I don't know. I mean, you'll probably see some, like, water accumulation.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
What are you talking about? I was going to make a joke about your canyon-like asshole. Insinuating that you normally get it. Got it. Yeah. Estimated volume of the Grand Canyon is 4.17 trillion cubic meters. Which, what is that? I don't even know what a cubic meter is. A cubic meter is a meter. That's a square. By a meter, by a meter. That's bananas.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
So like six feet by six feet by six feet, roughly. Or no, three feet, sorry. A meter is about three feet and change, right?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Um, I like how I'm acting. And, like, he knows. You're the one that has been to school the most recently, so. I knew. There are 8.2 billion people on the planet, but for our purposes, we'll only include people over the ages of 15. Why? Why? No, baby's pissed, dude. Baby's pissed, brother. That's what I'm saying. What is this person doing? So, equally, roughly 6.5 billion people. Even that.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
One cubic meter is a thousand liters. So, we'll need... I can't even read that number. It's an insane number. Each person produces roughly 1.4 liters of urine a day. With 6.5 billion people, that's 9.1 billion liters a day. At that rate, it would take 458,241 days to fill the Grand Canyon. Which is how many years? I don't know. Divide that by 365.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Not bad, buddy. Really great, buddy. 1,255 years. You said 1,200. Oh, wow. Look at me. You don't even remember? Just say it with confidence. Math. Good memory. Puff your chest. I'm sorry. Even 1,200 years.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
that's so much longer than i'm even believing i don't even believe that i just think that this is a like i don't think people realize how much piss like the average person pisses a half gallon a day but then you have freaks like greg who pisses several gallons a day greg is pissing at an alarming rate i think realistically me let's do a social experiment let's get a bucket in here One cubic.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I'm not doing this. And we just pee in it. No. Or dump our piss into it. We're back to the front. You want to piss on piss. That's how you get your rocks off. You know, Steve-O, I don't know. Did you ever? You definitely didn't. Steve-O does stand-up specials now, and he had a stand-up special. I watched it last year with my brother.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
It's basically some stand-up, and he mixes in some stunts and stuff. Some of them are fun.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
fucking crazy i don't want to give it away because i respect you mr steve-o one of them i will give away he collects urine from everyone he knows for like seven months or six months including the urine that's in his like traveling rv and he puts it in a pool and he dives into the pool like a kiddie pool go ahead take that in Steve-O, by the way, you're alive after that.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Apparently, it's like a super exclusive restaurant to get into. So, like, I know if you go to Japan, that's on your- No, I'm not. I'm not. No? I don't like soaking wet eggs. I don't like dry eggs, but like something in between. But those are like- Bro. Well, they're cooked. They're safe. Like, you're okay. Maybe. I would do it.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Bro, he's done way crazy shit. Swimming in a little piss. Swimming in a little piss? Swimming in a little piss, baby. That is so gross, dude. That sounds like a rejected Jimmy Buffet song. Swimming in a little piss. Imagine the smell. Yeah, it smells like piss, probably. Worse. A lot of piss. Worse. It can't be worse than cat piss. I'm sure it's definitely worse.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
No, I'd rather a pool of human piss than cat piss. Are you crazy? I don't even know if I have a preference, to be honest with you. Yeah, Steve-O, if you're ever in the area, what's up? Go piss on Frank. No. He'd love it. No, stop that. Apparently. No. Hey, Steve-O, if you're ever in the area, let's pee on each other's pee. No. And then you can swim.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
That doesn't seem... All right, what about if people crapped? way longer because the average person is like one day, one crapper a day.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
It's a million billions, right? It's just so big. It's a million quadrillion.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Clown numbers. Did you ever see the thing that was just like the richest man in history was like some like African king or something, and it was like he valued what the land was, or like Genghis Khan, and it was like what the land was valued that he had conquered was like trillions and trillions of dollars or something like that. That's crazy.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I don't... So what, a billion is 990... A billion is 1,000... A trillion is a thousand billions or a million billions.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I remember, what's a Google? Is that a hundred zeros? Why did we even get that high? They're not even usable to use these numbers. I mean, they are when you talk about stuff like space travel and shit like that. And piss. And piss. One, oh. What am I looking at here? Can you zoom in on this stuff? One trillion. That's bananas.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
One trillion dollars visualized. Those are double... And by the way, those are double stacked. Double stacked pallets like that.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
That $100 million is not what I thought it was going to be.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
That's it? I really struggle when people are just like, you wouldn't be able to carry this much money in a bag because it's too heavy. I struggle with that. It's just paper. And I know it's like $100, 100 pounds of paper. They say, what's heavier, 100 pounds of bricks or 100 pounds of feathers? And it's like, brother, they're both 100 pounds. Bro, if you give me a backpack...
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Have you ever had the- I remember I told you about the Gordon Ramsay eggs, right? In- At nauseam, you've done that thing. Oh, my God. They're so good. A little bit of creme fraiche. I do a little sour cream because I'm not hung off when you got creme fraiche at your shop, right? Creme fraiche would be great. You know? But then, like, you have, like, the chives or a little green onion.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
and my clothing and like some janko jeans or whatever you're wearing like recently i'm walking out of there with at least 50 million dollars because it's paper i i don't think that you could do that just because like i think that's like more than you think but like were those how heavy is how much it weigh about 22 pounds i don't think the pounds is the problem 22 pounds?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Dude, it'd weigh about 22 pounds. You could easily fit a million dollars into a briefcase, backpack, or duffel bag. Yo, 50... Wait, hold on. What the fuck is this? Whoa, 50 million weighs 500 kilograms, about half a ton.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I think... Bro, 50 million dollars weighing half a ton?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Well, what if it's $100 bills? How much is a million? 45 pounds?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
A million dollars is 45 pounds? Bro, I think that money is like heavier than you think, but like half a ton. Nah. It's 50 million? I refuse to believe that. I refuse. I actually believe it. I think it makes sense. Bro, paper is heavy, dude. If you're... A paper is heavy. Bro, remember we had to haul... Did you bring any of those fucking stacks of paper out?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
No, I was in here when you guys said you got it. Bro, those are heavy. Well, they're little reams of paper. Yeah, but those are like not... How much would one of those be in money? 500 sheets. How would I even make a guess? 500 sheets on four bills. I'm just saying, give me a duffel bag. I'm leaving with at least you. I mean, you weren't there for this video, but remember those $10,000 things?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Like those are obviously very light. 10 of them though is a hundred grand only. Yeah. And then 10 times. No, but I'm saying like, that's a hundred grand. And like, that's like a lot of space. Like to fit that in something I think is difficult and it probably wouldn't be heavy. And that's only a hundred grand. I got it. I'd be good. You're not carrying $50 million.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Bro, put me... Here, I have a great video idea for you. Put me in an enclosed room and say you can... Whatever you... You put as much money as you have in there. Whatever you can walk out with, you can keep. And I'm easily bankrupting you. How much money do you think I have? You think I have $50 million fucking dollars? I've seen your bank accounts. I know that you have at least $400 million.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Imagine I would be living in Tuscany right now. I'll be honest. I think about it often. What? Having that much money. $400 million? Yeah, it'd be... I would quit well before that. Did you fart? No, I don't know what that was. Imagine you just let a fart rip. Like, I need more reasons. Give me more reasons. Give me one reason to stay here. You know that song?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Don't know it, but we're going to get out of here before that continues.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Frank, where can they find you? Don't cut me off when I'm singing. You don't even know what song it was. Give me one reason to stay here by Tracy Chapman. Give me one reason. Oh. You know, Tracy Chapman. Yeah. I guess we're getting out of here. FAlvarez885 on Twitter, TheFrankAlvarez on all other forms of social media, that being Instagram and TikTok. Go check out the Patreon.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You know, get really into it, and you just keep it. Pat it on, off. On the heat, off the heat. On the heat, off the heat. Chives is a decoration. Doesn't really add.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Go check out TheBasementYard at TheBasementYard everywhere you enjoy us. Thank you for the love, support, everything that I could think of. I'm a little fried right now. I'm kind of hungry. It's totally fine. Food's on the way. And that is all. See you guys next time. Bye.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
It's a decoration. It doesn't add anything. I don't even know how you're getting that octave, Mariah Carey. Jesus. No, they definitely have like a garlicky, buttery taste. Absolutely. Ant, please, for the love of God.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You're looking at us like something's going on.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I love, oh, man, I love green onion and chives. And just, like, I love herbs. I love cooking. I like a lot of shit. I'm like, you know what I'm having a renaissance with? Big cilantro house right now. Becca has been crushing the cilantro dishes. Why does the earth hate cilantro? Because there's like half of the earth that is just absolute stupid, and they taste cilantro as like soap.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
That's devastating. I've never tasted that, nor have I ever had cilantro being like, oh, what is that?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Start the timer. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Start the timer. Demonetize. Yeah. Oh, wait. I think it's just similar to cooking. If you're a good cook, then you're a good cook. No, but I think, like, there's, like, titration and, like. What's that? Polymerization. That's a Pokemon card. No. Yu-Gi-Oh? It might have been Yu-Gi-Oh. Yeah, I think it was.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I don't even like. It's like a gene. It's like the asparagus pea thing. Like not everyone smells. It's like a certain gene in their body. There's some people on this earth who will eat asparagus and pee normally. Yeah. Weird.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
And like instantly too. Bro. Coffee, same thing. If I take it, really? Bro, I'm pissing. Wait, what is coffee? Your piss smells like coffee? If I have a coffee, the next time that I pee, which is usually not that far after, it smells like I'm...
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
A cup. That's a bowl of coffee. I can smell coffee in my piss. Really? Yeah. I've never heard of that, but I don't think that's a well-known thing. Are you a coffee drinker? I don't think I've ever seen you drink coffee. I like coffee. Have you ever smelled coffee piss?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
No, that might be you. You might be. Honestly, we might have found something out about you. Yeah, no, I can definitely smell it. But asparagus piss? It's stinky. It's wet and it's hot. You think there's any freaks out there that are just like, pee on me, but asparagus pee on me.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Ew! What do you mean? Ew-y! But I think that if you were into piss, you'd be like, I want this to be piss. I don't want it to be some like, whack shit. I mean, that's a great question. On other people's lives, you need to talk to someone that's into pee-pee play.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
like yo like do they charge like this is an untapped market and we might be into a business thing here one thing i've learned doing other people's lives it is so tapped i promise you it's tapped you sure a hundred percent because like you can get really i mean look at what we saw last week dr dan okay yeah dr dan is really he's a smart businessman so like is there a way to be more playful with pp
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You know? And then, like, we could do, like, a really dehydrated pee, like a yellowy, frothy bastard. This is what I mean is, like, if I was into piss, I would want it to be, like, give me your pee. Like, don't drink for three days. Whack piss. Like, make it stink and hot and yellow. But if it's whack, like, ugh, like, stale pee. Stale? Like day old pee. That's so disgusting.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Like off the side of the BQE in a water bottle. There's nothing I hate more than day old pee. When I would go to Connecticut with you guys and you would pee on your piss and the piss would just sit there, I would flush it every time. Oh, pee on piss.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Yeah. I couldn't piss on this piss. For those of you guys that don't know what Joey's referencing, at the lake house that we grew up going to,
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
they're all work they're all ran on like early 1900s septic tank systems like they are not good and the rule there is just like they have like a little jingle in this aisle of fun and sun we never flush our number one yeah and then so people would pee and then leave it there the next person would pee on that pee and they would and i go in there i'd be like i'm not pissing on this old ass piss and i'd flush it
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
But, like, polymerization and chemistry, I don't know enough about chemistry. I am confident, though, that if I did want to learn chemistry, I'd be able to do it. I don't think you need to learn chemistry, bro. The other guy became really good at it, and he's an idiot. Well, because he was watching him, and he was a fucking master chemist. He was cooking his own. You could cook good enough meth.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
What's the, why, what's the issue? Because it's like, because I've done it before, and it just kicks up a smell that I'm not, I feel disgusting.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I don't like when, if something stinks so much.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
it feels like it gets on me and then i'm like i can't oh really yeah but then you just jump in the water and you're good yeah because you've pissed in the water right next to someone so hard i've done that do you like try to like play it off because i remember when i was a kid and everyone would be like are you pissing in the lake and i'd be like no so like i made it so like when i am peeing i'm like more talkative because normally people are just like they'll be like talking and like
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
And then they'll keep going, like, oh, that's when you peed. But I would just be like, yeah, so, like, what's everyone thinking about right now? Like, we're going to have a really fun night playing Manhunt or something? Pissed the whole time. Yeah. You know? I've pissed in that lake many a time. What is the most you'll pee on a pee before you flush it?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Because at the lake, we've gotten to, like, I'm talking, like, iced tea levels of dark pee. I'm not. That is so gross. You're disgusting. I won't do it.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You don't think it's like a level of like... I want up to you. My pee is on your pee now, bitch. What are you, a dog? You're going out there and you're pissing on other people's piss? I just think like the times I've been to like restaurant bathrooms or something and like someone doesn't flush or bars. That happens? Oh, yeah. I can honestly say I've never experienced that.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Well, a lot of places now have automated things. So like when the person is done, they walk away. It flushes automatically. But like I've been to places where it's just like there's just piss. That's crazy. Ant, you have something to contribute to the piss talk.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Yeah. That's every toilet that you use ever.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
No, but some of them, I refuse to believe that like toilets that have a weaker flush are spraying piss and shit everywhere. Now I've been to some toilets that are like the Cedar Rapids. Let me make that very clear. Airplane toilets. Nothing's getting out of that. It sucks everything. It sucks your fuck. Yeah. Bro, I don't like automated toilets.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Like in the airport, if you have to use the bathroom, which I've had to do against my will, I will sit there and it will flush in the middle of me sitting there. And it's such a scary moment for me. Yeah, because then your butt is all pee-peed poop-ton.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I have a thing where, like, I like to, like, you ever seen, like, a movie about, like, the mob or some, like, organized crime? And, like, whenever they, like, whack someone, they, like, or, like, the shot in Inglourious Bastards after they kill the guy, one of the guys, one of the Nazis. Bad. Well, if we're not demonetized before. I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Don't be down on yourself. You can cook good enough meth. I mean, I'm not trying to cook meth. Let's make that very clear. You do a great job. Let's make that very clear. I'm not cooking meth. I don't have it in me to cook meth. I wouldn't be a good meth cooker. I wouldn't do it because I heard it explodes if you're bad. I heard that it's like...
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
The way the world's working, we might get more money for saying that. They said Nazis. Give them the money. You know how they kneel down and they're standing over them and it's like the point of view shot? I kind of like to, after I use a bathroom, to look and see what I did. Wait, what? You pee in a toilet and then you stand over it and look at it? I stand over it and I look at it.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Like, look what you did, you filthy pisser. Therapy, dude. Like, I can't even suggest it enough. How is that therapy? Frank, that's not a normal thing to be doing in the world. Why not? Why are you looking at your piss like, look what you did? Well, like, just... It's a sense of, like, it's hurting. Like, what is that? It's hurting over there.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Just, like, looking down at it, like... And just walking away. Like, I... Job complete. Like, I pissed in you. You know, mission complete. I did what I had to do here. Fucking... You do that whenever you go to the bathroom? No. Yeah, pretty much. I would say almost every time. Wow. I also, you know, I know I've told you this before. Right. But I had a little race between the toilet and my piss.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I do that too. Just for fun, man. Yeah, like when you're getting near the end, you're like, I'm going to flush this thing. Just to see who finishes first. You are the toilet. It's always a competition. Classic. Tails all this time.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yo, I'm a big fan of bloody, by the way. When people from, like, England say, oh, it's bloody crazy.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
But if you say cheeky cunt, you can probably get away with that.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Do you remember who sang... I thought he was always on the go.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
You know, like microplastics and stuff like that, the amount of plastic in brain samples... has increased 50% since 2016. I'm going to think about that for the rest of the afternoon and scare myself.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
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The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
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The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I love the to you, about you, from you, to you. Well, I'm very good at this. In the name of the Father and the Son.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Would you get in like a shaky tub like that? Knock the dirt off of you?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yelping is funny. Well, that's what I picture a Yelp being. With barking and yelping is $25. Just doggy style, $22.50. Not bad. Barking and yelping being $2.50 seems fair to me. Put in $2.50, what would that be? So an extra $2.50.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
$26 for barking. $250 in 19, what was this, 1960 we're doing?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And then yelping's like... He's doing both. There's two dogs. Now I understand why it's 250. You had it. You preloaded.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
He's never from any experience experienced orgasm. I'm a virgin who needs gentle Dr. Damn. But titty chewing, $1.50.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah. A French tickler. Taking over the family business.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
See, here's the thing too. They have this, but it's kind of mysterious because you have no way of getting in contact.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
She was very Irish and, like, traditional, like— Irish Catholic. Yeah, Irish Catholic.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You smoked weed. You fucking pothead 420.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Get 25% off your subscription or try the app free for seven days at fitbot.me slash basement.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
If it meant you could be granted one wish. Can't be money. And you can't throw up.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. It's the same reason why there's foamy sea. From sea to shining sea. Oh, they don't say foamy in that song. From foamy sea to shining sea.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
No no no But it would be the easiest one I ever drank But if you put it in the freezer You would just have to let it sit there And you could like Chill it in that way But you can't put ice cubes in it So straight piss I'll do it then But what would you wish for?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
This kid is such a fucking... I'm so smart that I can convince people and manipulate the world and I run the world. I'm God.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Would you see all the 30 hitmen I hired? The assassins?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah. Oh, yeah You know how much money I would pay to watch you even sit in front of a plate of human shit me Yeah, why him why would gag maybe uncontrolled my you may suffocate from gay.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
This is the easiest thing in the world. It's crazy. Why would you want it chilled?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
His name is Edward Michael? Is anything in this world real?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Ew, don't actually do the thing. You hear the rumble? You rumble. This is now just the stupidest show ever. You've taken it to a new level of dumb.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Guys, that is all for this week's episode. Thank you so much. We'll see you next time.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Oh, yeah. And then he'll make a fire out of, like, a stump and something else, and then he'll create a fire, and then he's got, like, bread. Ooh. And then he's got, like, a piece of meat. Ooh. Ooh. And then he's got... He's making... What are you doing? And then he's slicing tomatoes thin. Thin tomatoes. And he's got that giant fat knife. And they're see-through.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
There's a Canadian guy that does this, but he's, hello, buddy. You've never seen that? Have you ever seen... Don't skip over this. You skipped over me.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I was afraid that you were going to go off of these TikToks. It's like a little cabin. And he's got a big... He's got like a stash. And he goes, hello, buddy. And then he makes a thing. There's like a tea that he makes and a little meal. And then he sits down at the end of it. He's in this cabin with a tiny TV. He's playing like Duck Hunter, bro.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
This is so niche now. There's a guy who makes ancient tools.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
That's what I'm talking about. Oh, they put them on like paddles and stuff.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
You know? Honestly, I'm kind of sick of people like us just talking.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Have you never heard of Cisco? I'm having trouble. You've never heard of the thong song? I've heard of that. I didn't know who sang it.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
So who do you think sang it? God? No, also not that.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
What the hell is even that? That's terrifying. Is that from Outlanders? It might be.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
He's a legit musician. I know. Well, baby, that thong, thong, thong, thong. Said I like the way you move that thing.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I think the last time that I went, I was with you. I've only been to Hooters like twice.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You pray that he has your boot? Dear God. Dear God, please.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Worse. Would you let him make you shit your pants? Sure, but he would have to teach me how to do it at least. No, no, no.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Two weeks, bro. Two weeks. Oh, wait. It was about you being the best friend? Yeah. I thought it was about Kelsey. Like, he liked Kelsey.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I have. I just don't believe he didn't ask for like a kiss or something. Oh, of course.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
welcome back to the base welcome back to the basement yard i don't know why i lifted up my microphone but welcome back to the basement yard frank you're all in light blue show your muscles that's why you were doing it i don't know why i picked it up like this today you're goldie goldie locks what do you mean gold the gold the shirt gold this is called beige i know what it's called but i'm saying like everything like you got the gold on the watch i mean you're all light blue
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I was probably, if I was at one of those bar bar mitzvahs wearing a shirt and tie or something like that. And like a disposable yarmulke. You had a bunch of those.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Yeah. They weren't disposable. I only have one left. It's a real yarmulke.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
um i don't know if they just gave you like yeah we'll give them one oh yeah i mean maybe i'm not sure they have clips no some of them mine doesn't have a clip that's why that's why i said i mean it's it's like a very like disposable is probably not what i want to say it's a good quality like it's like felt okay does it say like fucking jonah's 16th birthday you know i don't know if it i don't think it does but i'll check jacob's bar mitzvah who's the bar and the bot
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I don't remember. Forgive me. Yeah, we don't know. Our friends. Have you bought mitzvahed? Barred? Never. Yeah, me neither. I've been probably to more bar and bought mitzvahs than I have sweet 16s. I only went to two. And weddings. Okay, that's bananas. Bro, because I went to that camp on Long Island that was all Jewish kids too. And I went to a ton there. Wait, you were 15 back then?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I thought you were way younger than that. No, I was younger. Barnabas ministers are like 12 and 13. Oh, I thought it was like 16. I thought it was like a sweet 16. No, no, no, no. It's younger. Oh, I didn't know that. Bar and Bar Mitzvahs and then quinceañeras is 15. Well, that I know. Sweet 16s is 16. I've never been to a quinceañera. Neither have I. Really? Yeah. Frank Alvarez?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Francisco Alvarez? You've never been to a quinceañera? You think just because I'm a Hispanic man that means that I just go to quinceañeras? Yes. Yeah, that would make sense logically. You would have family that has fucking... No, no, no. I can't remember ever going to a quinceañera. Do you remember the Sweet 16 show growing up? My super sweet 16. Oh, my God.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Like legitimately. Oh, my God. Looking back on them, it was like some of them where they were just like, did he better be here? And it's like, whoa.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Uh-oh. Yeah. If all that porn talk didn't do it, that did it. There we go. D, monetize. But I remember on that show there was a girl who was upset because her dad got her a Range Rover and it wasn't white. So she was like, what the fuck? Can you look up craziest moments on my Super Sweet 16? I remember they had all those shows back then. What do you think?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
uh whatever was in my kitchen so not a butter knife like a knife like a knife like a like a serrated knife a knife that i've used to cut food with so if anyone has a hat that is this is old it was a clean hat i mean it was a clean knife it was extra this is extra joe that's what the x stood for yeah extra joe on top of the other parts of joe that they got all right this is more joe there were people that probably were hoping that extra joe meant something else
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
We're just going to sit here and watch a video compilation? I don't know. That's not going to happen. No, it'll tell you something and it'll be like, what happened? This is what happened. I'm just saying, like... The Lexus, extravagant over the top. You're just reading the description of the show.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
It's fine. We can make assumptions. Do you remember off completely derailed this episode? Go ahead. Do you remember my ex-girlfriend's sweet 16 that I got uninvited from at the end? Wait, you were already there and you got uninvited? No, no, no. All right.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Yeah. How many? Like two. And you're going to one next week, right? Absolutely not. I went to... Oh, wait. You went to one last week. I did. Why? It was his family member. Still funny. But the thing that they do... Did they do it at yours? Do they still do it? It's like the candle per... This candle is for... Did you get a candle?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And his own family, his own flesh and blood, they don't give you a fucking candle. That's crazy. Crazy.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
That's crazy. Bananas. I don't know if it's good to be first class. Have you gotten a candle at a sweet 16? No. No. I did not. I've gotten two that I can remember. It's like, this is for the boys.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I'm becoming a woman. You're 16. Gross. Let's make that very clear. What sweet 16s and quinceaneras and bar mitzvahs. Now it's like you're becoming a man.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
But I think bar mitzvahs have a religious meaning, so I don't want to touch that. I don't want to make fun of that one. But like the sweet 16s were just like, now you're a woman. It's like.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
no no she is that is gross pretty gross why is she in cheetah print yeah everyone was in cheetah print no but my my my uh a girl that you know and i we were dating and it was like you were dating at this thing we know so we were on and off again okay leading up to her sweet 16 and uh she told me she was like you're getting a candle and i was just like You found out at the thing? No, before. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I was like, really? She's like, yeah, you're getting a candle. I was like, all right. And then I, you know, like I found out like a bunch of shit went down between her and I didn't end up going. To the sweet 16. To the sweet 16. A bunch of our friends did. And she had.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Obviously not giving me a candle, but she said you know, but someone made like a slideshow of pictures, you know, like over like fucking, you remember all 2008 people did the lowest lift for like, it was like a slideshow of pictures and like windows media player played in the background. And it was like vitamin C of course, you know, like we'll be bad friends forever, you know? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And anytime a picture of me and her popped up, The whole place booed. I wasn't there, though. But a bunch of our friends told us, like, yo, like, every time a picture of you popped up. That's amazing. I wasn't there. I know. You didn't go. Oh, I would have booed so hard. What? That's hilarious. If you would have booed me, that would have been grounds for fighting.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I would have listened to whatever, like, rap I was listening to that week, and I would have fought you that week.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Yeah, I would have fucking, like, yo, that's it. You know what? Honestly, I smell pussy, Joe. What?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
They started booing me. So, that's awesome. Who am I? Wait, did you not go? Or she was like, don't fucking come. No, I said, like, I'm not going. Oh, okay. You know. Did you guys date after that whole thing? On and off again. On and off again. Even after the booing? But, like, it was all. It was all. The public shaming. It was all. So, you know me. Right. You know me. I do. Yeah. I called her.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And I was just like, hey, I heard about the Sweet 16. Thanks for making it more about me than about you. Click. You scumbag. You didn't say that. Did I? What day did you call it? The day after? I don't remember what day. It was after, though. Knowing you, you didn't let it breathe. And let me, let me let you know something. A lot of IMs?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
triple extra joe no what realistically have you ever even thought about doing like any form of like porn no i wasn't gonna say porn but just like showing your balls showing your porn is that porn i think porn is the act of sexing no like the sex what's playboy is playboy porn Showing your boobs on a magazine. What is the definition of pornography? Is it just naked? I can't Google porn.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
She didn't like that. Oh, no, she didn't. But you guys were still together eventually after that? Not like together, but like, you know, just like young teenagers. It's like, we're going to work it out. You said, thanks for making that more about me than you. Bang! Bang, bang, bang. Or more like this. More like, click. Yeah, yeah. Oh, and it felt good. Wow. You know? What are you going to do?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Just take your battery out of your phone at that point. Just lay it down. And I remember when I would do that, I would watch it ring. Yeah, you're a sicko, I think. I was a sicko. I'm no longer. That's awesome. It's either laughing or fucking having a stroke. Yeah, a fucking mesothelioma attack. Oh, mesothelioma. Right. What's Mesopotamia? That was a place. Right, but what is that?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
That was like an ancient place. Like Atlantis? I think it was where like Iraq and Turkey, that area was. Oh, I thought this was like a fairy tale place. No, I believe Mesopotamia was a real place, Joey. I believe so. Can you look up? Atlantis wasn't real, right? No, a lot of people believe it was real too. Can you look up where was Mesopotamia? If you're right, I'm going to have so much respect.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Located in the Fertile Crescent area between Tigris and Euphrates. Iran, Syria, and Turkey. Yeah, Iran, Syria, Turkey. I was right.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
that's why a lot of people like the ancient city of troy because the only like talks about it were in like ancient um uh like texts and a lot of people thought they were myths but a lot of people believe that troy was turkey so like the whole like they're coming with a horse let me be very clear about something if i'm at war with a country and they just drop a horse off at my front gate as a gift
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
what how stupid do you think i am also what am i gonna do with this giant horse yeah and also i don't want this like it was a big one and you wouldn't hear the people in it like i mean maybe you wouldn't but like also what am i gonna do with the horse i would honestly i would be like you know what fuck this thing set it i would have burnt it and sent it back this guy's looking up trojan horses
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Trojan horse diagram? Yeah, how big was this horse? Bro, I don't give a fuck how big it was. Yo, can I say this? If I'm at war with a country and they're like, yo, here's a big wooden horse, I know something's up. It's hollowed out and not filled with Trojan men. Well, the Trojan army... was like the Greek army. Yo, honestly, this is genius.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Whoever did that, whoever was the guy who made that call, what a good call. What a stupid call. Whoever was the one that was like, you know what? You know, this looks pretty cool. Yeah. Bro, bring the giant horse in. I'm telling you, if a package shows up at my house and I don't know what it is, I'm terrified. You think of a fucking giant wooden horse shows up at the gates.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I'm going to be like, yeah. Get the fuck out of here! I get a phone call from a number I don't have saved, and I'm like, no way I'm picking that up. I'm not wheeling in a giant horse. Zero. Less than zero percent of a chance am I fucking accepting that.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Idiots! Well, no, I guess the people that did it were smart. So the Trojans got there and they're like, yeah, we just want to get you something nice, you know, some wooden horse. What does it say here? Greek mythology. Yeah, see, it was mythology. Trojan horse was a wooden horse. Why do you say horse like that?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Horse. Said to have been used by the Greeks during the Trojan War to enter the city of Troy and win. Time out. Wait. The Trojan horse wasn't a real thing? No, that's what they just said, that all the mentions of the Trojan War were in, like, the Odyssey, you know, like... Wait, wait. You didn't know this? This isn't real?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
There is some evidence to suggest that it was, but like mythology, I think of Zeus throwing lightning, which didn't happen. Well, as far as you know, come on, but no. So like the, the, the, um, the, uh, what's it called? The Iliad and the Odyssey. That's what is like the story of the Trojan war. Bro. Uh, this is baffling. And, and a lot of people believe like, they're like, Oh, maybe it was fake.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
But then there's like, Oh wait, maybe it wasn't fake. Ants just diving in. Was the Trojan horse real? It was not real. Google says no.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Do you also think that Hercules can pick up the sun? Relax. Let me ask you a question. Relax, Peter Pan. It didn't happen. First of all, Hercules wasn't picking up the sun.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Pornography sounds like magazines. Porn sounds like digital stuff. Pornography is so like... I think they're frogs and toads. I think that like you can have video stuff that is pornography and have pornography that's not video stuff. Like frogs and toads. Do you remember that? Do you remember? Frogs and toads? Yeah, it's been beat into my head, so I remember it.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Second of all, you're talking about Apollo holding the world on his back. His name was Atlas, dumbass. That's him. Damn it. Damn it. And Medusa. Snakes for hair? I don't think so, Medusa. Fuck that shit. You turn me to stone when you look at me? It's like you can look through a mirror. What was that bullshit? Who was that guy that did that? The ancient Greek mythological... What was his name?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Stavros, probably, dude. Stavros Yannis Stavros and Yorgos. Dimitri. Dimitri, Yorgos, Stavros, Stamatis. Who killed- Perseus! I knew that! Fuck!
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
He's Achilles! He's Achilles! Yeah, he's Achilles! Because of the Achilles heel.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
The other guy was Perseus. Perseus was the bitch. Perseus was the other dude. The other dude who was like a bitch. Who is that? Briseis?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Just go to the IMDB, look up the movie Troy. I mean, the cast is... Right there. No, it isn't. Well, whatever. Amy Louie Wilson. Hold on. While you're looking that up, we do have some sponsors for today. Good call. The first one, how you doing? We have, and I don't have it up. How's it going, everyone? I'm just going to talk. I can talk. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so. Achilles is back, bitch.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Agamemnon. There's no Percy. We called the kid Agamemnon growing up. Remember that? We is crazy. No, we. Stop doing this thing.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
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The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Even if you just see a little bit and it's not like male pattern baldness, which I don't know too much about, thankfully. Um, but if you want to grow your hair back in as little as three to six months, you can start using hymns. That's what they say. Um, but yeah, so there's a solution. The process is simple. It's a hundred percent online.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
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The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
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The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
See website for full details and important safety information. And we also have Squarespace. Squarespace is a website that allows you to build your website. So if you have content or you have a small business or you do any sort of e-commerce, you can build a website lickety-split with Squarespace.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
They have a bunch of templates that make it very easy to have a professional-looking website, which is very important if you have a great product. But if someone goes to your website and it doesn't really look good, They're not going to trust it. There's less of a chance that you're going to convert that person into a customer. So website is very important.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And Squarespace makes it very easy to not only build a website, but to run your website and realize where your traffic is coming from and optimize that in the best way. So head to squarespace.com slash basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Use that code basement. But again, squarespace.com slash basement, save 10% on your first purchase of a website or a domain.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Can you just look, just Google the definition of pornography. Who's going to get in trouble? Who's going to get in trouble here? You think HR is coming through and they're going to fucking save us? It honestly is weird. What is the definition of pornography?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Yeah, what you can also do is go to patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. You want to hang with us? You want to play with us? You want more XXXX Extra Joe? Well, maybe you'll get it at patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Thank you guys for all your continued support, whether you're a patron or not. Listen, we want to give you guys a little more extra bit of us.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
So go to patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. You join. You sign up for that first year. You get these weekly episodes one week in advance. You get that second year. You get exclusive episodes every single Friday. Monday, Friday. You start and end your week with TheBasementYard. It sounds It's like a no-brainer to me. Thank you guys for all the love and all the support and continued growth.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
We want to keep going, pushing, in order to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be on Patreon, on everywhere. So go check it out. Patreon.com. And folks, we obviously... are going to our Europe shows. So if you're coming to any of those shows, go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit. Okay, there's going to be some little question prompts. You submit a response if you feel so inclined.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Let us know what show you're coming to. And a lot of the show, not a lot of the show, but a portion of the show, we like to talk with you guys, to you guys, about you guys, about whatever you guys put in those responses. So maybe we'll pick you. Maybe we'll talk to you about you, whatever. So go check it out. TheBasementYard.com slash submit. Let us know the show you're coming to. And there we go.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Back to me and piss to you. What did I do? You called him Agamemnon too. You called him Agamemnon. You called him Agamemnon. And you do this where you're just like, you did the thing. No, you did it too, you little bitch. I don't even know who we're talking about. It was that kid that told Dennis that he had a wide back at the gym. Oh, yeah, that's right. Crazy thing to say.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I will say that this all, Danny started that. He called him Agamemnon first, probably, but, like, we were all there when he told him he had a wide back. I did hear that, and I was like, that's a crazy way to describe somebody. That's a crazy way to describe anyone.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
But, yeah, I didn't know, like, I knew that the Trojan War was from, like, mythology, but I didn't know it was just, like... I did not know that. I thought that was, like, a real, well-documented thing. I mean, so there are documents and, like, murals of it and shit like that, like... Yeah, but we're talking about mythology now. I mean... Myth. Technically, every war is mythologized.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Did you just make a word up? Mythologized. That's a real word. Is it? Yeah, of course it is. That's shocking. But, I mean, that's not true at all, by the way. Yeah, it is. Technically, all things are mythologized in one way or another. Why? Because at the time they just thought that there was a big guy shooting lightning bolts with a big white beard, that it was more fake than stuff now? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
It does. It is kind of weird that, like, porn has the same... It's like, you know how geography has graphy? Well, yeah, graphy is, I think, it's just the study of it. So this is the study of porn. Is it the study? Printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
That's right. That's exactly it. Yeah. See, mythologize is a word. Yeah. Make the subject a myth. Yeah. Like what you did with your grinding. i mean that's right i did mythologize my grinding and it worked yeah it did work um also i i just watched uh this movie the other day so we're gonna definitely get into it uh the substance did you watch that movie
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
yes becca and i watched about three quarters of it and then we turned it off wait hold on by the way i there's going to be spoilers so if you're like what the i'm gonna talk about the movie like you can skip ahead so it's a it came out last year big oscars push for it massive demean more margaret qualley both in the conversation to me Is it Demi? I believe it's Demi Moore.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Oh, I always heard it Demi. Demi Moore? Honestly, that's where I heard it.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Can you look up the proper pronunciation? Is it Demi? It might be Demi Moore. I have no idea. Demi or Demi? Demi. What is it? I think it's dummy.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Wow. He's right. Yeah. Wow. Look at me. Wow. I'm right. You're the dummy. I'm right. That's all for this week's episode. But for those of you guys that don't know. I know Joe's going to spoil it. I'll give some background. Basically... I really want to know where you stopped watching. Quitting before the end is bananas. Yeah. Becca was tired, and she's like, I'm going to fall asleep.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And I was like, do you even want to keep watching this? And she's like, not really. And I was just like, it's just a little much for me. But Demi Moore's character is like Elizabeth Sparkle. And she is like an aging actress... In Hollywood. And in order to, I guess, re-enter the spotlight, she takes this substance that things happen. And I don't, you know, like.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I mean, I'm perfectly fine with saying what happens. I'm not going to give, like, details of everything. But here's a detail. it's a fucking shot that you have to give yourself and then your back splits open and a person crawls out of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, so yeah, I mean it's, it's a lot of people said that they couldn't watch it because of like the gore.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And, but I think a big part of why they couldn't watch it was like the whole needles of it all. Like there's a lot of needles, like, I'm telling you right now, the worst part about this movie for me, it wasn't the needle per se. It is the giant pus pimple on this woman's spine.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
It gets progressively worse throughout the entire movie. And there's a needle like this big that goes in it. And I'm like, I cannot watch if they go back to this pimple again. I just, I can't. You got to be, see the movie. So here's the thing. Why I stopped watching it. Where did you stop watching? I don't remember, honestly, what part I stopped watching it at. Did you see that? I don't remember.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Did you see that? Why did you have to do that? Back up! This kid's googling pimples! Do you see that over there? I don't think I saw that over there. Well, they, you know, that's Demi. I know who that is. I know. Yeah. Why did I go Christopher Walken there? I know who it is.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
more or less by the way a story is finest i know um you like that fucking impression i ate at his deli by the way you ate at his deli yeah christopher walken yeah he had a deli the walk-in delery uh del delery the walk-in deli on like 30th and was he in there i don't think he was there when i was it like him or like his family his family's deli His family owns a deli. I didn't know that.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
All right, so printed. So technically, Fifty Shades of Grey is porn. I, uh, yee.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was 2009 when I went, so forgive me, but... There you go. I mean... So much. The messaging is not subtle. Yeah, I get the messaging. Like, that's the thing. I think people, when... Because I'm not saying I disliked the movie. I just felt like it was just a little too cartoony for me. Like, it freaked me out, but I get that's the point of it.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I also get that I'm not the fucking audience for it. Like, the messaging is very clearly, you know, around what Hollywood and entertainment forces women to have to do in order to be relevant. Right. But... It was, like, the way it was shot and, like, the close-ups on some people.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Like, there's one scene in particular where, like, Dennis Quaid's character has, like, a bunch of people around him and he's, like, talking in the camera. And it was just, like... Yeah, back up. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm sure that guy exists by the thousands. Well, I'm sure that the real version of him is way worse than that movie version.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
He was such a dumpster bug. One of the worst parts of that movie for me was in the beginning when he's at a meeting and he's just eating shrimp.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And he was just dipping it. It was like, this is fucking gross. And again, I get it. I get it. It was just like... Do you think, honestly, because this movie's getting a lot of Oscar buzz, do you see why? Because I think that the most grounded part of it was Demi Moore's character, and I could see why she deserved the Oscar. I thought she was phenomenal in it.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I mean, who cares about the core? It's just porn. I mean, the core matters. We have, by the way. Yeah. It's so quickly been demonetized. Yeah, you know, it's over with. But I think, yo, did I ever tell you? I may have told you, but I found a Playgirl in my neighbor's house. And it was just like dudes in jeans with their dicks out. And I was like, what?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Yeah, Best Picture it's nominated for, Best Actress in a Leading Role. It won the Palme d'Or last year at Cannes, which is like their best movie.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And she won best actress. She was amazing. And bro, by the way, she's fucking 62 years old and looks insanely good. Yeah. And she's just naked the whole time. Well, I think I – so anytime I watch a movie, I go on IMDb and I read the trivia. It might not be real, but I think I read that her and the other actress in the movie used body doubles. Oh. Well, yeah, I'm sure they did.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Bro, insane. Like, it was a crazy movie. But again, spoiler alert. Here's your spoiler. You want to know how it ends? I think I kind of know. She turns into, like, a big, like, goopy-doopy monster, right? That's a good way of putting it. Have you seen the movie?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Ant's going home and watching this tonight. If you... So, when you do the substance, like, you put the substance in your body, this other, like, hotter, younger version of you, like, pops out. Literally crawls out of your back. And she had to get her back, like... Stitched. Stitched. Which the fucking younger one did it in a bathroom. And, like, it's, like, a week.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
That, like, you're the younger version, you're the other version. You're the younger version, you're the older version. And, like, they just are, like, asleep in a bathroom for that week. So, yeah, the younger one, they, like, hook you up to an IV so you, like, get fed. But, like, the younger one starts booking gigs. And is like, all right, I'm just going to do an extra day.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
So, like, takes a little bit more fluid. Because you need, like, this fluid from your fucking spine or something. So, takes a little more fluid. And then that makes the older character...
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
get really fucking old and like her finger just gets old and crusty like a dragon's hand right and then and then so then that's what happens and she's like what the fuck my finger has a dragon foot and then she's like
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Then she's calling a number and the guy's like you got I don't know you guys got to figure it out They were no help on the other end by the way the entire movie Oh the shady people in the back alley that give her this thing only called this substance or no help shocker They're not helpful bad customer service, but then so then they start getting into a battle And like then the younger one is like yo fuck this like I need to have like weeks at a time So it takes mad fluid So when she's taking all that fluid
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
it ages the fuck out of Demi, Demi Moore. And then when she finally gets awake because she runs out of the spinal fluid, she finally becomes awake and she looks in the mirror and it looks like an, it looks like the hunchback of Notre Dame. Yeah. And like her, no hair, all fucked up, blah, blah, blah. And she's just like all fucked. Right.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
There's teeth and a face on the shoulder. And then they put on a dress and they try to look nice for a New Year's Eve show. And then she melts. On her walk of fame. She's just a face and a pool of blood and muscle. And then that's it. Man. Cinema. If anyone needs me to describe more movies, I'll be here. We should do an episode where we get you hammered and ask you to just describe weird movies.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Bro, that movie was so weird. I was like, what am I watching? And then I was like, now, now, like I get the messaging. The messaging is not lost on me. But the rest of it is like, how did this even get greenlit to do this? Well, if I were to tell you that it was made by a French director, would you believe me? nothing about the movie stood out as French to me, man. Pretty French.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Bro, you know, do you remember the wrestler Shawn Michaels? Yeah. He was in Playgirl. Before, before, you know, before the eyes went their own separate ways, you know, before his eyes got divorced. Yeah, they came, one of them got off the leash. So technically, like, fanfic is porn. I don't think words is porn. It just said printed. Printed could be magazines.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
If you ask me what, I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. It might not even be a French director. I think it is. Um, yeah, I don't know. It was just like, it was so like, I don't know how, like I've seen people talk about it and they're just like, it's the best movie of last year. And it's like, Seems like a bit of a stretch to me personally. I don't even know.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
You don't know the other movies that came. Oh, you still haven't seen Wicked, which is bananas. Well, was that, I guess that was last year. Yeah, this was last year. There was, but like. Yeah. It was interesting. Yeah. Would you take the substance? No. What would the younger version of you be? I know mine would be. What would it be? Well, my older version would be me looking as I do now.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
My younger version would obviously be Zayn Malik. Uh-huh. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
We've never seen Frank and Zayn Malik in the same room, so it could be true.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check my spine. You never know. Yeah. Ugh. Oh. Never mind. I heard that a lot of people had to leave the theater because the needle stuff was really, really bad. The needle stuff was pretty intense. It was the pimple for me, though. It was the pimple for me. I was like, oh my God. The pimple wasn't the worst part. It was the... I feel like the needles was the worst.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And Dennis Quaid. Yeah, fuck him. What? When did you turn it off? I don't remember. See, how does he turn it off before all that? Because to his defense... It's like a 30-minute block where it's like just all this shit is happening. I'm like, how do you even know what just happened?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Like I said, bro, watching TV with Becca is a coin flip because she's either all in and then she'll literally – we'll literally be watching something and I know just from the sound of her breathing like she's falling asleep because she'll just turn over to me and I'll just be like, I'll turn it off now in the middle of this fucking incredible episode.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
and you're like well that's i know and like i know and she tried once she tried once listen she's a mom a fucking stay-at-home mom she has a very hard job and it's exhausting i get that she tried once she was just like well when we watch tv i'm laying down so my eyes are already closed and i was like nice try what does it have to do with a stay-at-home mom
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Well, she's exhausted at the end of each fucking day.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
You could get her a pair of glasses. That's like you could just lay it like this. Oh, no. Well, I mounted our TV on the wall now, so it's not like. It was previously sitting on our dresser. Oh. And I mounted it on the wall, so now it's higher up.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I mean, I... Old, old merch. Old merch. You see this? Old, old, old. Do you know that... Oldie logs. I, I cut that with a knife. That's what all those cuts are? Yeah. That sucks. I... Why would you do that? Why are you wearing it if it sucks? Um... That's a stupid question. Touché. Touché. Yeah. Actually, I don't know if that's true. Wait, what is a stupid question?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
No, it would be cool. Can you imagine? That would be weird as hell. I mean, why? Oh, ow. I just looked directly in that light. There you go.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
We do have some more sponsors for today. All right, I was going to talk.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
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The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
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The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
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The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
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The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
It says printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display. Description. Yeah, I guess maybe, yeah. So this is, if I were to just like describe. Like, oh, yeah, I'm doing, I've got my thumb in your. If I were to describe your penis, that would be, that would be porn. Right. You know, that'd be great. Two inches. Don't. Bare. Don't, don't do that. Barely what? Barely what?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
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The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
That's basically what Stitch Fix is going to do. You go on their website, you fill out the style quiz, you give them your size, your budget preferences, you know, your style. They try to figure out like, you know, what exactly you like to wear. And then you pick, they will go and find things that they think you will like. and they'll send them to you.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And then you only pay for the things that you keep. So you get a box. It has everything. And you're like, all right, cool. I like this and that, but we're going to send this back free of returns all the time. And yeah, so it just keeps your wardrobe nice and fresh all the time. Okay. And they send personalized pieces. You know, the fit is always going to be on point.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
So the stylist is going to work for you. So you don't have to spend time going to the mall or going here and going to that shopping in person all the time. You can just have someone who knows the things that you like and send them to your house. So make style easy. Get started today at stitchfix.com slash basement. That is stitchfix.com slash basement.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
okay there you go folks you got saved by the ads because i was ready to yell at you for something that i don't remember what you're doing your your anime face no don't do that don't do that to me what that's what you do and you do this thing i was just like i don't do i stop you know these people probably think that i'm a monster Because I say you did an anime face?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
No, because you just make up stuff about me on this episode. Frank, you made up that you retired from grinding. I made up that at the time... You mythologi... What was it? Mythologized. Mythologized. Genius. Not genius. I mean, it worked. It was business Frank. That's what we get. That's why business Frank... That's economy 401, dude. Now we're up to 401.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Just recognizing that at the time, I was a young entrepreneur. With grinding. I mean, today's grinding is tomorrow's Bitcoin. You know what I'm saying? Do you have Bitcoin? No. No, no, no. No Bitcoin? None whatever. None whatsoever? None whatever. None whatsoever. Okay. You have no crypto? No. Because? Because you're just like, I'm not. I just don't have any. I mean, do you? Yeah, of course.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I mean, maybe I do. I just don't know. I'll probably have to ask my finance guy. He's not going to buy crypto for you. I don't know. I mean, I probably... Those are personal purchases. I'll be honest. I'm a little upset I didn't get into Bitcoin when it launched at... A dollar a coin. That would have been so crazy. I would have... Every... If you had told me what it would have become, every penny.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Doesn't work like that, obviously. I know. How many times have you ever thought about like that where it's just like, if you can go back and make any investments, what would you invest in? Yeah. I mean, obviously, the big three. Apple, Google, Amazon, right? When people are like, I would have invented blah, blah, blah. I'm like, bro. I love when people bring that up because...
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I can go back in time and show them an iPhone, but that's pointless because they'd just be like, this is still magic. This is nonsense. Magic. This is still nonsense. I don't think I would go back that far. When? Like, realistically. Within my timeline. What have you thought? What am I saying? Like, you're Loki? Like, I wouldn't go back to, like, the 20s. Like, what am I doing here?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
would you ever like have you ever thought like i would go back and invent this and be a billionaire no the only thing that i think is like a smart thing to say is like you can invest in stuff so like the day i heard about fucking like apple tesla google amazon i'd be like We have this new company that's coming out. It's called Google. You know what I would do? I would Google Jeff Bezos' address.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And just go be buds with him. And just, like, walk by his garage all the time and be like, oh, dude, I love the bookstore that you're making or whatever the fuck. Like, I would love to work here. This is really dense and crazy, like the Amazon jungle. And see what happens, you know? What do you, what was that? Just, like, drop hints. about Amazon.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
He said it, not me. You know? What? You got a big hairy dick? You've got to get off of this topic.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Oh, I would go while he was building it in like the first few days and be like, you know what? I really love books and I think like we can sell these online. You'd walk by like the garage in San Francisco where they came up with Apple. Yeah. That'd be a cool one. Didn't they like buy computers from like IBM and then they just like created their own thing or something like that?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I don't know, possibly. But I know that like Apple was in big time, big time fat trouble at one point in time. For what? I think not for like being bad people. Maybe. I don't know. Oh, documented. Yeah. Documented. But like they like had no money. They like were almost bankrupt. And then Steve Jobs had to come back because he like left the company.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And I think that at that time he invested in Pixar of all people. Oh. Yeah. I mean, that was... We got Toy Story because of Steve Jobs. That's cool. Yeah. I love Pixar. Nothing gets me more hyped than that fucking lamp jumping on that eye. I fucking love it. You know, and it looks at the... You know what I'm talking about. I know exactly what you're talking about.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
There are some new Pixar hits that you haven't watched that you are flat out missing out on. Really? Am I going to cry? Some of them might get you a little bit, but maybe not as much. The Pixar movies, just that type of animation in general could get me to cry. I watched the first one with that old guy playing chess. That one would make me cry. That was like before A Bug's Life. Yeah. Yes.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
This is absolutely crazy that we got here. You can't do it. But yeah, extra Joe. X, X, extra. X, X, X. Yo, by the way, I just, I knew I wanted to talk about this with you because it was big on social media. I watched one video and then every single video was this, but the story about that angler fish, just like getting to the surface and dying and shit. Dude, these things are fucking terrible.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Holy shit. I'm very good at this. I'm very good at this memory. I watched that, and it's like he's playing himself, right? No, I think.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I think. No, he's like playing chess against himself. You're spoiling a 25-year-old Pixar short. I'm pretty sure people are more okay with that than the movie that's up for best picture.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
this year yeah um i yeah i watched that and i was like that's so sad like an old guy playing i think it's like he starts off he thinks he's playing with someone and it shows you like someone else but then as time goes on you see he's just playing by himself makes me upset dude what makes you more upset old people like not like mad but like when like like up like what makes you cry harder up or something like toy story
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I never cried in Toy Story. Oh, that's not true. I cried at Toy Story when he gave all the things away. The toys away? I was like, you fucking idiot. Now you get it. Now you get it, Joey. Yeah, I mean, it's because there was a movie that I just watched. I gave away all my... I didn't give... I literally put them in the garbage and probably threw spaghetti on top of my toys. No!
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Mine were ripped from my fucking hands by my mother. I can picture you like, no. No, no, no, no, no. She didn't do it like that. But we did like one day they were just gone and like not realize it because we were just like out playing football or something. Dude, I honestly, now that I think about it, I can't remember like how that, how they, how your toys go away.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
i'm sure my mom donated them knowing my mom yeah but like i didn't even know you know like i can't remember with my like thinking like where are my toys i'm being like i gave them away or like i threw them out like i don't remember that ever yeah i don't until i asked it was the day i saw toy story 3 i called my mom as soon as i walked out of the theater i was like hey frankie what
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Was it 2010? Yes, and I'll tell you why this was such a pivotal moment. Don't look it up because I know the answer. It was because I saw it right before I was getting ready to go to college. Just like Andy. Just that. So that's the story. That's why it hit so hard for me because Andy was getting ready to go to college and grow up, and he had to give his toys away.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
and it hurt so you called your mom when you got out of the theater and you're like where's my toys and she's like what the fuck are you talking about yeah basically i was like hey what happened ma hey i just saw a toy story yeah it was it was cool what happened like where are my toys oh they're long gone frankie what i wouldn't have even dignified it with a response You're 18.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I was 17 at the time when it came out. Well, whatever. Still a child. And you were just like, yo, where is Polly Pocket?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
It's real funny over there, huh? Real fucking funny, Ant. I loved Polly Pocket. I loved Polly Pocket too, but I was more of a Mighty Max kid because if I was- I don't even know what that is. It was the boy- Joey, Mighty Max. It was a boy version? It was a boy version of Polly Pocket because if I was seen as a young boy playing with Polly Pocket, people pointed at me and said, gay.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
What was the first movie that, uh, Finding Nemo. Remember that shit? Finding Nemo, of course. Yeah, that's where they first saw an anglerfish. You think I saw them before finding Nemo? I didn't know those fish were real. And then even seeing the videos of this thing, why does it have a mouth like that? It not only has a mouth, like, bro. Severe underbite. If you, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Well, I was playing with the Polly Pocket. I used to put the Polly Pocket in my pocket. You put Polly Pocket in your pocket at the Polly Pocket Inception? I would put the Polly Pocket in my pocket and I would walk around with it. And then I would pop it open and I'd be like, look at this. There's a little world in here. Do me a favor. You know this. Look up Mighty Max Castle Doom.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
You know this shit. Ricardo had it. We'd go play with it at his house.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
what the fuck is this yeah there it is no you brought this up to me before i mean i never had this oh well um 230 yeah and that might not even be is it complete near complete uh joey if you're looking for any birthday gifts for good old frankie your birthday is in six months so it's in five but who's counting um oh look at those you do every year look oh my god have we ever Thank you for coming.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Thank you for coming. Frankie started this thing, and I don't know when, but he does it every single year. I don't do it anymore. His birthday is July 30th, and on the 1st of July, he would start a countdown. But the countdown would start like, how would you do it? Like 30,000 it would be, or like 3,000, and then it would be 2,900, 2,800, and then it would be up until his birthday.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
But it would be a countdown. So he would post like on MySpace or on Facebook, all his statuses. He would do a countdown every single day. But why would you put like 2,900 when there was 29 days left?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
um so i'm pretty sure the first year i did it was 2008 and um i love it you're pretty sure we know and then you did it every year after well um one of my favorite musical acts uh is andre 3000 andre 3k you know so you were frank so my my my myspace name at the time i changed it to frank 3000 And it just so happened to be on June 30th when there was exactly 30 days until my birthday. Uh-huh.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
1,300. I'm like, I don't care. That's so funny. Yeah, it happens. That sucks.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
We missed that. No, we didn't. We said happy birthday to him. I'm saying. Yeah, we did. January 16th.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Don't make a joke. I'm not. What's your sign? Ten days after Joe's favorite holiday. I knew you were going to make a joke. It was a funny joke.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Oh, the fact that you had that teed up because you know so much.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
What does it mean? What kind of guy are you? It means like you're going to be horniest on this moon and like you're fucking, you're shy until you break out of your shell. What are you, Leo? Yeah. That's cool. That's cool, man. Yeah. What are you? Something stupid like- You know what I am.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
If you had asked me at the age of nine years old to draw a scary fish, And this is not even a joke. That is what I would have drawn. A million teeth. Just the sharpest teeth that are coming out of nowhere. And it's got a light bulb in its head. Well, that's because it needs to see where it's going. But how much does that work down there? Frank, that's not what it's for. What is it for?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
You know what I am. Libra. Capricorn. Frank. Pisces. Yes. Okay. What is Capricorn? What does it mean?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
What does Capricorn mean? Cool guy. Fucking dweeb. Sorry. Capricorn. Oh, I thought it said termined. I was like, what's termined? The Latin word for horned goat or goat horn? This kid is horny. I told you, this horny bastard over there. Oh, he's determined, disciplined, and ambitious. I don't know about... To drink as much twisted meat as possible?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Just tell us before I pack a bag of bottles to bring to my hotel rooms
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
disciplined he's determined to fucking chase alcoholism i want to see what else what other they have here we'll see what kind of guy you are you're getting into joey you're getting into a workaholism just take yeah well seriousness definitely not no he's so serious i would say deter i i from the amount that i've gotten to know you i would say you're pretty determined oh there we go let's turn it around now relentless determined to overcome obstacles
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Let's find out who Frank is. Hold on. Hold on. Before you look anything up, I've had people when they'll be like, what's your sign? I'm like, Leo. They're like, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's find out who Leo is. A consternation. A name and a police term. Ooh. A police term. I don't know what the hell that means. Born under the sign of the Leo said to be strong.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Strong, charismatic, and hot, and brave. Frank, you're making things up, I think.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Confident. Yes. Passionate. You got it. Natural leaders. Where are you reading this? Look at this. Leos are known for being dedicated friends and lovers who put their hearts into every relationship. So true. I, I, I, I. Look at that. Barack Obama. Madonna. Daniel Radcliffe. Lawrence Fishburne. Jennifer Lopez. Helen Mirren. Jennifer Lopez. Meghan. Duchess of Sussex. Neil Armstrong. Fiercely loyal.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
You're damn fucking right, bitch. Yeah, dude. I'll fucking... Oh, this all sounds like great stuff. Leos are often described as having a regal air.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
What a commanding roar. I feel so commanded right now.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
You can't roar either. I'm just a little Pisces fish. You are. You're a little fish. You're swimming like a little bitch.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Don't look up at me. Okay, okay. All right, no, I need to get in the moment. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Come on, guys. Find your inner lion. I'm trying to find my inner lion so I can command this roar. Okay?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
It's to attract other fish so they can kill them. Yo, those are such hideous animals, dude. It's crazy that an animal like this exists on our planet and we're just, like, cool. Like, why haven't we nuked the oceans yet to get rid of these fuckers? Um, that wouldn't be good for us. Nuking the oceans? No. I mean, you want to pollute the ocean with nuke?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I mean, if we could... All right, hear me out. I'm hearing. I know J. Robert Oppenheimer's family watches this show. Do you? That's the first I'm hearing. If they could figure out a way... To just target an animal like this one. Yeah. And then, like, release a bomb that only takes out these. Got it. We could add ticks in there, too. We don't even know how many there are.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Oh, God. Hey, thanks. Thanks for... Check out The Basement Yard everywhere. If you're coming to the Europe shows, go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And go... Check us out everywhere, at the basement yard, everywhere. And that is all. We'll see you guys next time.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I don't even know if we know that. How many anglerfish could there be? Apparently, this was the first one that they... have seen like near the surface. Big little fuckers.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I saw a video of a girl like crying about this. Why is she crying? She's upset. She was upset because it was like, there was like, they of course romanticize the story and made it. So like, you know, this angler fish, they use that light on their head to attract other fish. And then I, I was reading these comments. I'm not kidding, bro. I got a little choked up. Really?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Like, it kind of, like, fucked me up a little bit. Wait, how does this thing just produce light? That I'm not even gonna even think about. Because them and lightning bugs, this is all... Wait. How do they do that? Bro, lightning bugs have lighting up their ass. Yo, they literally have light bulbs in their asshole.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
They literally, and they're like... And they're like... They're like, come find me, and they're like... Take a look at this. What do you think about... Bro, and you ever kill a lightning bug and go like that? Yeah, you're... Wait, hold on.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Because I wear other stuff that sucks? Um... Wait, wait, wait. So hold on. So this was just a normal denim hat, which is a crazy thing to say in the year of our Lord. Yeah. Um, and you just like, you know what? I want to make it look tattered. So I'm going to take a knife to it. That was the idea with it. Yes. So every one of these hats that went out, you did that too. Now I can't remember.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
No, I feel bad, but I've killed one. I was on purpose. But I, like, killed one, but it's like the light, like, it's like... Yeah, bro, it's like a fucking... It's like... It's like a... It's like a juice. A glow stick. A glow stick. It's like that.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Do you remember glow stick parties in college where people would break them and like put them all over their face and shirts and shit like that and they would dance and it'd be like, this looks, but they knew what they were doing. You're going to skip over that?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Your little fucking glow stick parties? Also, putting glow stick on your body is probably bad for you. I don't know. What the fuck is that? What is glow stick? It's like neon. What is glow stick? It's neon shit. Why does it get activated when I crack it? I imagine because it's like a bag of an ice pack. There's chemicals and water, and then when you mix them together, it makes it.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
So the plastic tube is filled with a chemical mixture including diphenol oxalate or a similar oxalate ester. Oh, okay. So it's similar to oxalate ester. Oh, to ester.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Gotcha. Yeah. So a separate glass vial inside the tube holds hydrogen peroxide. Nothing was cool. Bro. And also, why the fuck did we put them in the freezer after? And they were like, if you want them to last longer, put them in the freezer. When am I going to use a glow stick again? I mean, glow sticks were pretty cool. Now you can find them anywhere.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
But like back in the day, you can only find them at like dances, school dances and like 4th of July firework parties. You know, I'm sure they were everywhere. But like my family protected me from them enough in order to feel joy when I saw them. I feel like I've only been around glow sticks around your family. Probably, honestly. Pretty cool family.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Do you remember at, like, Remy, the, like, Guidos that would get the glow sticks and put them in their hands and they would frolic? You know you brought this up not too long ago? I know. It's so seared into your brain. Bro, because they would be, like, you know, like, the most, like, hyper-masculine, like, oh, I'm sorry, you like to fucking...
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
wax your eyebrows gay like they were so like hyper toxic masculine and like then they would put glow stick in their fingers wearing skin tight puma track suits and then they just and they would fucking and like dance with their boys be honest have you ever done it in front of the mirror and try to be good at it no have you ever tried to learn a dance oh yeah i've told i've i've have i not told you this story which dance
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
So, as you know, for those of you that don't know this, I... You might know this story, but there might be people, you know, every show... I get it. Every show, there might be a first-time listener. We don't know. Well, that's why we need to pretend as if this is their first time listening. But which dance? You may have told us. So, I gate-kept... Gate-kept? Gate-kept. Gate-kept dancing.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
From who? When I was in middle school. Oh, yes, you did tell me this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what I did is when I was in middle school, so for those of you guys that don't know, I went to a different school for sixth grade and then a different school for seventh grade. And when I got to seventh grade, I told people, like, I don't dance anymore. Yeah, that you're retired. I retired from dancing.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Because you're so good. Because I was so good at dancing, dude. That included grinding. Oh, you didn't ground? I took a while, but the real story— You went on a grinding hiatus. You're like, yo, chill, chill, chill.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Yeah, like sixth grade was wild. I'm off the grinder.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
But the truth was that like— I had done it a few times before, but I looked stupid doing it. So I didn't want to keep doing it. You were scared because you were like, oh, I'm not good at this. I was scared because I was like, what if this is not a good ground? What if it's not a good grinding? What if I'm not a good grinder? Exactly. So then I gatekept it. I told all the girls, I don't dance.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And... It made them want to dance with you. Supply and demand. Economics 101. If I remove the supply of me grinding, the demand for my grinding abilities was through the roof. So people were just desperate to grind on you. I wouldn't say desperate, but they were clamoring. Okay. You know? Yeah. There was a clamor out there for grinding on me. Right. And I really put it out there.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I feel like there wasn't a lot of those that actually went out, but I'm pretty sure I did it. So if anyone has this hat in the world, just know that the Lord and Savior over there, Joey Santagati, Took a knife to it. Yeah. Like held a knife. Did you hold a knife to it like British style? Like it was a, or was it a fucking kitchen knife? What's British style?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Like I was a world renowned grinder. I mean, you know, obviously if you saw me in seventh grade, yeah. Would you not think like, this is someone that knows how to dance? I would think that. Yeah. And I would think, why is he wearing four shirts? And they're all double XL. The most I wore at a point is three. It's a lot.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
It's a lot. The most I wore was three. And the biggest shirt I had was a 5XL. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. You had a 5XL t-shirt? Yes, I did. Was it covering your shoes? It was quite big. It must have been. It was quite big. I don't know if I've ever seen a 5XL in person. I've seen up to 7.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Yeah. That's a lot of shirts. So as I gatekept grinding, I knew that I had to reenter the market. The grinding market. Market reintegration. So who was your first one back? Economics 102. I don't think that's how that works. I think it's 201. Yeah, I don't know. You don't know because of college. Right. And you probably should know because you were a business major, weren't you?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I took all these classes. Okay, so you know, understand that market reintegration. For grinding.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Yeah. You remove the supply of grinding in Market Economics 101. Free integration into the market. Naturally. Naturally. Who was your first grind? I'm not going to say their name. Do I know them? You might have met them, but they were from my school. Okay. But in order to... Properly reenter the market. There was a whole business plan behind it.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I needed to make sure as I reentered the grinding market, I didn't go in. Right. Looking as a novice. You needed a good product. I needed a good product. So you, wait, hold on. So you were in your mirror, like getting ground on? So I started the reintegration process, joking around, saying like, I'll go and I'll like dance behind people like that. Just to, like, joke, like, what is he?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
You were testing the market. That's what it is. Yeah. Dipping my toe into the market. Right. That's your finger. But yeah, I can't show my toes. People will run away with that one. Yeah. Treblex Joe. Okay. So in order to make sure that I didn't look like an idiot, because that was of paramount importance to me, you know, I would dance like that in the mirror and I did it once.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
And I said, wait, you would like, you would be like, Oh, I'm good. I was like that in the mirror. If someone's grinding on you, you're doing that. Well, that's that's how I started the reintegration into the market. Right now, I'm talking about the reintroduction of the grinding market. Right. Making sure I moved into a place of comfort and confidence, you know. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
This is market testing 101, Joey. Economics 301. Now we're in economics 301. You're getting, this is more college experience you've ever had in your life. Yeah. Yeah, it is. I am trying to picture this, but so that first time that you came back, you unretired. I unretired. Like Jay-Z. I probably had, you know, put feelers out into the market to understand what the demand was.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Where it's like the, like they press the button. Like a butterfly knife? Not the, they press the button and it pops out and they press it to the neck and they're like, oh, you got a tiny, tiny knife. Like one of those? Yeah, I don't know. And if you don't start that timer, I will come over there and I will kick you in half. Kick it in half is crazy. Yeah. What kind of knife did you use?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Yeah, and said something along the lines of like— Where was this first grind? It was at a school dance or a bar mitzvah. It's very difficult to tell the difference between the two. That, I feel like, should be easy. I went to a lot of bar and bat mitzvahs growing up. Right. So chances are it was at one of those. But like I said, I was just like— What made you be like, yo, this is the moment.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
I'm coming back. A girl. But did everyone be like, oh, he's doing it. Yeah. Stop it. There was a crowd of people being like, Frankie's grinding. Look at it. Look at it. I can't believe he retired this. Look how good he is. Economics, my friends. Economics. Okay. Understanding the market. And you just pulled up your 5XL shirt and you were like. I mean, no.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. Ooh, you look excited.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I appreciate it I'm trying to be like Francisco across the world like a scratch on the pavement. Yeah That makes sense I don't know. What does that mean? Francisco wrote this. Right, yeah, not you. Oh, no.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Oops. By the way, we're not putting it in the episode, but the photo that we were talking about, that when we were young, people were like, oh, yo, go to lemonparty.org. It's a dope website. And you would go, and there's a picture of an old guy blowing another old guy. And another old guy just hanging out.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Yeah. We just went to that, and it showed the picture for a second, and then it just looked like the Matrix. And it was like, your computer's going to explode.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
But I am curious, but don't go back. But yeah, no, that's...
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
To be like, like a raw piece of human meat. Okay. You smell like that?
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Well, not musty. I don't know. When I think of musty, I just mean like it's like potent.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
You ever have sex in a room, and it's like, okay, that was great, and then you walk out, maybe to, like, whatever, and then you come back in the room, and you're like, whoa.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I'm being like, yo, just open a window. Let's get the smell out of here.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I don't like being in them. I have very sensitive lungs, I think.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Guys, I hope that people are paying attention here. I hope that people are paying attention to the... the slow progression into a monster that this kid has become.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Or like, I'm like, bro, you remember one time we went in like Connecticut and they're like, we were just like looking around. There was one that literally looked like that. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Whoa. Smoking poles. And the word musty is still up on the screen. We do have some sponsors. We're going right to the sponsors. I think we have some from there. I mean, what better way to transition into the sponsors?
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Whoa! Squarespace is going to create all of your website needs. They have a bunch of features on there that are going to help you optimize your traffic. They're also going to help you build your website. Your website is going to be your first impression.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
When people come to your website, if it looks good, they're going to trust it a little bit more, more chance of a sale or whatever you're doing there. So yeah, with Squarespace, they have a lot of templates that make it very easy to build a great-looking website. So that's why I always point people in that direction. And I use it for all the websites that we create is through Squarespace.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
So definitely go check out Squarespace. And right now, you can head to squarespace.com slash basement, and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. And a lot of people have hit me up, and they've used this. They said it was very cool. Built their websites. Like, hey, check it out. So it's nice to see that people are using it and using
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
creating the things that they want. So go to squarespace.com slash basement and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. We also have Caraway. Caraway, good looking, clean cooking. All right. I don't know what it is about me.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
This is coming in at the perfect time because in the last year I've been paying a lot of attention to like the pots and pans because I, you know, read some articles and the boys a little bit of a hypo. But I've read some articles about like some pots and pans are actually not the greatest to be cooking with because there's like toxins and when you're cooking and stuff.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I don't know the technical terms, but all I know is that Caraway makes beautiful cookware, and 95% of home goods have these toxic chemicals like Teflon and stuff like that. Over 70% of fry pans sold in America contain Teflon. So you want to stop cooking with toxins. But Caraway, you know, they're safer than all those other things. And like I said, they're beautiful. They're very sturdy.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I've been cooking with one for a while now, and they're amazing. So make the swap to non-toxic living today with Caraway's cookware set. It will save you $150 versus buying the items individually, okay? If you visit carawayhome.com slash basement, you can take an additional 10% off of your next purchase.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
This deal is exclusive for our listeners, so visit carawayhome.com slash basement or use the code basement at checkout, okay? Non-toxic cookware, if you're going to be cooking at home, you're going to want to make sure that you're doing it in the most healthy way possible, so... This is huge for me. Like I said, 95% of home goods are made with toxic chemicals like Teflon or PTFE, whatever that is.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
But make the swap to non-toxic with Caraway. Again, that is CarawayHome.com slash basement. And use the code basement at checkout.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
At the very end of the Santa Gata Studios videos, which if you don't know, YouTube.com slash Santa Gata Studios. We post every week. But at the end of that, there used to be a song that would play, but apparently it got copyrighted. Yeah. So Ant's just been going at the end and going, ba-ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-ba. And he says something.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
He does commentary. Yeah. Bro, I had no idea this existed. Apparently it's been going on a while. And we watched the video that just came out yesterday. of me and Greg on the drive home, and then we're just watching it, and we're laughing. It was the video with me and Keith. And then it started playing through the speakers of my car.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I'm shocked you didn't know that. I was like, yo. Damn, that's crazy.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Yeah, he got me. But then we were like, did he just do this for this video? And then we started watching the other ones.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And then do commentary.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Yeah. I saw a video, and I don't know how fucking true this is, but I saw a video where it's like... I think it was like Japan or it was an Asian country that like there was a... like a bacteria or something, right? Can you try and find that?
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Like the most efficient way. Incredible. That is the most ridiculous thing. Ant, are you kidding me with that? Wait, is that the actual thing? It is. This is what they did. No, this is what they did.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Dude, I'll tell you this right now. I'm racking up a bill.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
The red face. The red face and it's sweating. Wait, so I'm confused by this. The exceptions are, you said contraception.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Oh, so gay people can just raw dog each other and it's nothing? But the straights?
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
The weight of this is getting insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but does this mean that you can't have raw sex with your wife? I imagine, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I'll say this. Married people using condoms. Kind of crazy.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I can't even talk, bro. I do that so often that there is compilations on TikTok of me just not being able to speak.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I see this kid pick up a fucking camera, and I'm like.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
This is a weird question, but stay with me. All right, here we are. Have you ever bitten a dandelion's head? I've eaten a dandelion, yeah. It's not good. Yeah, it's very bitter. Well, I'm not going for that. I meant, like, it's so hairy.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I'm talking about out of the ground, and you're about to make a wish, but you're like, this looks like Albert Einstein's head.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Cherry wine? Isn't there a guy online that makes wine or something?
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
So it looks like it might be only one. I think it's one. All right. Well, yeah, they have one nomination. They're one for one. Best dance recording. Okay, that makes sense. Song was a smash.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
See, that one got played out for me very quickly. Really?
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
We have, like, the ones that are, like, instructions, though, because this one's a, yeah. Yeah, like, instructional dance. Bro, also, I honestly think there should be a federal law now that we're passing ridiculous laws in this country.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Yeah, no nothing, fucking whatever else we got going on here. I think that it should be a federal law, written into federal law. I want to dance with somebody by Whitney Houston being at every single fucking dance.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Yo, I've been to a lot of weddings where they don't have it.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Before we get more into the songs, we do have some more sponsors.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy, so if you want to talk to a therapist, you can do so through BetterHelp. You can start talking to one in just under 48 hours. They make it very easy to connect. Not only that, but also very easy to swap from therapist to therapist so you can find the right fit for you because that is part of the onboarding process.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
You want to talk to someone you kind of vibe with. You don't want to just talk to someone you're kind of like, I don't really like this person, so I'm not really going to disclose, blah, blah, blah. But yeah, I've been in therapy for a long time. I think that everyone should be in it. It's great. I cannot say that enough. But yeah, it's fully online. It's customizable.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
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The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
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The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
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The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
You put them in your freezer, and you can just thaw them out and cook them. It's amazing. But, yeah, it's great to have. It's nice because sometimes when you go to the supermarket, they don't really have the cuts that you want, or maybe you don't live near a butcher or anything like that. Omaha Steaks got you covered with all the, you know, top quality meats here.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
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The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
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The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Yeah. Yeah, we know. We know we were getting to this.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Allow us to lift it up and skip it across a pond because this is the greatest thing that's hit the internet and I don't even know how long.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Yeah, they put them in a house. Basically, they take a couple who's on the rocks, they put them in separate houses, and they surround them with hot, single people. Yeah. It's like a recipe for disaster.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
And it's like, oh, let's see if there's temptation. Which is the dumbest way.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Let's put a bunch of people in a tropical island house.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Yeah. So this thing hit the internet. Unbelievable. This dude Montoya, man. He's really going through it. Basically, for those who don't speak Spanish, I'm raising my hand over here. I'm just going to describe what happens in the video. And you guys can kind of see it. I'll give you a rundown of what's going on. Just a preface. I don't think we can show this.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
So this dude, his girlfriend is in the other house. And also what they do on the show, because they are the biggest instigators in the world, they have... Like, security cameras everywhere. Everywhere.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
So they'll... If your partner is, like, talking to someone or they're out on a date with someone or they're, like, in the pool and they're getting kind of close or they're kissing or whatever's going on, they will show their partner... a video of it, and he's watching a video of his partner hooking up with someone else. Yeah, so let's talk.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
You want to just full screen? Actually, no, leave it like that.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
And then the night vision goes on, of course. And he's still watching.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I, you know, once you start, well, and there he goes. He's off to the races. So these houses, by the way, are down the beach from each other.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
And he's heading down to the other house to try and stop this hookup from happening. Unfortunately, it is too late. And he's pulling up to the house right now.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
As he picks up speed on the beach, you can turn it off at this point. As he picks up speed on the beach, she is now getting rabbit fucked by this other guy.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
His aunt's got a freeze frame right now. Can't put that in. But, yeah, it's kind of wild. As he's running on the beach and they cut to her, it's really like a jackhammering going on.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Maybe if he didn't run so fast on the beach, it would have been slower. Do you know what I'm saying? Or maybe if he started walking backwards, none of this would have ever happened.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Maybe. He'll be reminded. Yeah, and he's just like, oh, no. Yeah, yeah. Like rain on a tin roof. You're like, oh, God, Isaiah.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Come on. The video? What the hell do you think this is?
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
It shouldn't be called a saxophone. Because it reminds me of a seahorse. Ooh, seahorse-a-phone. Well, that's not...
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I don't know. I don't know how I feel about being 33 years old. It feels old as shit.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Not in Atlanta. Why Atlanta? They're like the strip club capital of the world. Are they?
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
Well, technically it wasn't an act if he owns a strip club.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I knew that I wasn't going to like this. I just knew it. Born white as milk. You have to perform it. I can't.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
I was like, does that even rhyme? Like, okay. Okay. Little freckles.
The Basement Yard
#491 - Joe's Birthday Episode
No, no, no. Do you know there's a lot of discourse now I've seen on TikTok of people like, okay, how tall is he though?
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
I never once had a class. He just knew me through my mom, and he was just like, I want to write you a letter of recommendation. I was like, go nuts. For who?
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
But I remember when I, whether it was the landing strip or the F, I got a physical and my doctor saw it. And he was just like, yeah? And I was like, yeah, man. He was like, good for you. He was an old Greek man. He was like, you know, it's good for you, my friend.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
Bro, without exaggeration, I had probably six or seven letters of recommendation written.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
I wrote a letter of recommendation a couple times, and one of them was not a recommendation for the job. It was a... You're a piece of shit.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
I think you should ask somebody else." And they were just like, I have nobody else to ask.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
Lover of Mac Miller. They'd say, yo, let's read this. Absolutely.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
Yeah, and if you want something that's not only feeling warm and cozy around your bottom, you want something that's making you feel warm and cozy in your heart, right here in your chest, go to patreon.com slash thebasemanyard, where we're going to have more shows for you.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
Never pick it up. Scary, scary, scary, scary. Did I ever tell you I used to mess with those scam callers? I've done that. I kept them on the phone for like five, ten minutes.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
I stand by. I was a great prank caller. Prank called one of our friends as a girl saying I wanted to get intimate with them.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
touch your balls and like he was like with other friends of ours and he was just like yo she wants she's she's down you remember everyone would always say like dtf yeah yeah you know and then i would like pretended like my boyfriend took the phone and he was just like oh all right come through like let's fight and then you could hear i remember hearing our friend to our other friends say like yo you got the hammer stop i swear
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
And then he said, like, they're in the cut because I said, like, I'm coming to get you.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're just exploring that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
I don't know. I think it's like a horny thing maybe, right? You know how people like to do like, I'm at your place of work and I'm here. You know, like they do stuff like that. No, am I crazy? Yeah. Is Becca here or something? What are you talking about? I wish.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
So that's just a big white guy. That is a big-ass white guy. We're not reading that.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
Let's not talk about this as we're about to fly to Vancouver. Please, God almighty.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
And then I asked, and her response was, what? What, babe? Miles made fun of her after that. He would always make fun of her for it.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
He's like, fame isn't everything. I take it back. That's all right. Mr. Potter.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
I'd get this fucking nose out of my face. That's what I would say, honestly. Is that what you want?
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
Well, we also did have someone propose at one of our shows. Yes, and she said yes, thank God.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, keep this fucking horse galloping until the crows come singing, you know?
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
If masculinity were to taste like something, what would it taste like?
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
I don't know why I put an accent on that. Yeah, I don't know who the hell that was. That was like the Croatian version of Nick Jonas. Yeah. Nikolaj Jonaskov.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
You're singing more songs than I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's from Sonic Adventure 2.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
Go find the Patreon. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Find me at the Frank Alvarez all over the place. Find TheBasementYard all over the place. Do I get another sign-off?
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
I'm going to get the right one, and it's going to hit like a ton of bricks. But until next time, see you later. See you.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
I always forget that they're from Jersey. Are they from Jersey? Yeah, originally they're from Jersey.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
this september it'll be seven years okay once you get to 10 you're officially 10 years i'm fully in the trash yeah wait do you have a jersey license yeah where have you been you're that's treason i want to be very clear about something i wasn't happy when i had to switch it over right but like i had to switch that and my my like the plates on my car and everything because like did i ever tell you when my license got suspended during the pandemic for what
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
That whole you smell thing, remember I told you that story where my dad had to come in? I've told, this is a famous my father story.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
If no one's going to clean it up, that's what you have to do.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
And came back. That's it? Yeah. Came back, the girl ran out and was like really upset and the teacher like immediately was like, you downstairs, principal's office. I was like, fuck. And they had to like set up a hearing. My dad had to come in the next morning.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
My argument was multifaceted. One of them was, hey, listen, I was out at the bathroom. Here's when I signed out, signed in. You know, whatever.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
You were going to hear about that for a couple fucking months.
The Basement Yard
#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose
And I think that not only were we memorable at the time, but, like, look at us now.