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Chapter 1: Why is Joe excited about his birthday?
Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. Ooh, you look excited.
Yeah, you know why, bitch. It's my birthday tomorrow.
Epic birthday episode!
It is my birthday tomorrow. Oh, well, not as of recording. Not your birthday tomorrow. No, no, no, but it is my birthday tomorrow. But it is your birthday when this comes out.
When this comes out to the pub.
When it comes out to the pubbies. I'll be 33 years old. Goddamn. It's divisible by 11, which means- You'll be three 11-year-olds. Is that weird? Yeah, that's very strange to say, but I guess that's why. No, three 11-year-olds are all 11, dude. But, like, if you stack them on top of each other, like Muppet style. Not how age works. You can't just add if they're standing on top of each other.
They're cumulatively. If you put the knowledge of three 11-year-olds together, that's pretty much where you're at. It could be higher.
I don't know. I don't know how I feel about being 33 years old. It feels old as shit.
You know what? Someone fucked with me, though, one time, and they said, like, you turned 33, but you just completed your 33rd year. Like, this is your 34th year.
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Chapter 2: How do Joe and Frank celebrate birthdays?
Wait, that's an expression? Like you sold me a lemon? Yeah.
Yeah. You've heard that one, right? Yeah.
Not to be confused with Lemon Party.
Yes. Right. Lemon Party. LemonParty.org. Right. Which was old men blowing each other. Were they blowing each other? Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. Don't start typing. Did I ever tell you about the time? Oh, my God. I don't know. I think I might have told you this.
I had a family member post on social media, like, hey, I'm trying to put together some different websites and places to donate to charities and stuff like that. Frankie, do not tell me that you did what I think you're about to say. And I responded like, yeah, I got you. I know of one that it helps struggling farmers across the US or something like that. Frankie.
And you sent them to lemonparty.org.
No, they didn't. They posted it. They posted like, thank you to these people. Check out these websites. And it was like, thank you. And it was a slide, a whole slide. It was just like lemonparty.org. Was there like a photo or it was just the website? It was just the website name. Oh my God. But then afterward, the person contacted me. They were like, you're the biggest piece of shit.
If you don't know, by the way, lemonparty.org. Pull it up. Is it still available? Don't pull it up. Eh, pull it up. Pull it up! Uh, but don't, don't put it in the episode. Don't put it in the episode. Josh, cut this out. Josh! Josh, don't put the Lemon Party in the episode. Lemonparty.org, if you go to the website, it's just a picture of old guys blowing each other. Oh yeah, it's still available.
It's still, it's still there. And... Uh-oh. And... Oh! Whoa!
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Chapter 3: What surprises did Joe receive for his birthday?
You think that you said cordyceps before, you smart guy? Cordyceps, dude. You know cordyceps.
Yeah, you're the mushroom guy, too.
I mean, I have mushroom stuff every morning. I have a mushroom drink every morning. I do. I don't want to say the name of the company because I don't want to give them a free plug. Because you're a money-hungry bitch. Is that why? Because I'm a cheap bastard. Because I'm a cheap fuck. Yeah, it's like Cordyceps, Reishi. Reishi? Reishi. You're asking me? Chaga. Lion's Mane. What's that, a mushroom?
Yeah, you ever seen it? It looks like a ball with hair on it. Makes sense why they would call it that. Yeah, dude, it's pretty good, actually.
This is a weird question, but stay with me. All right, here we are. Have you ever bitten a dandelion's head? I've eaten a dandelion, yeah. It's not good. Yeah, it's very bitter. Well, I'm not going for that. I meant, like, it's so hairy.
Wait, are you talking when it's, like, in the wisher?
Yeah, before you blow your wish, you bite it.
No, that I've not done.
Really? Yeah.
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