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The Basement Yard

#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose

Mon, 17 Feb 2025

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Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?

0.09 - 24.602 Joe Santagato

Welcome back to the baby. Welcome back to the Basement Yard. Frank, you're here with your Hawaiian shirt. Yes. Dead of the winter. I appreciate the dedication. I'm also here with Fred Durst, apparently. It's a backwards hat. Let's relax. Fred Durst owns backwards fitted hats. Yeah. If it's not a fitted hat, it's owned by somebody else. But it's usually red. Okay.

0

24.722 - 30.506 Joe Santagato

Is it only... No, he's had some black ones in there. He's known for the red, right? Now he's just white. I mean, he's been white.

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30.546 - 31.346 Frank Alvarez

I'm talking about his facial hair.

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31.366 - 49.059 Joe Santagato

I was going to say. White as snow. His hair? His facial hair. You're Fred Durst-ed out right now. That's actually not a bad thing. You did it all for the nookie. We've discussed this already. We've discussed it in grave detail. I think that's what you should go as this year for Halloween. Fred Durst.

0

49.099 - 49.259 Frank Alvarez

Why not?

52.782 - 60.129 Joe Santagato

I'm just going to wear a backwards hat. Backwards hat. Just start, you know, telling people, break yourself. I can get a little, what's that called? A soul patch?

60.289 - 60.929 Frank Alvarez

Is that what that is?

60.969 - 83.721 Joe Santagato

No, no, no. It's like a, not a goatee. It's like a landing strip, but on your face. Landing strip? Remember when the landing strip was popular with vaginas? Yeah, I did it one year. You don't have a vagina. I know, I don't. Wait, you had a landing strip? Yeah. For your pussy? I don't, let's make something very clear. I know, your man, your... My boy, my... Boy pussy, your pussy.

83.761 - 84.701 Frank Alvarez

No, no, no, no, no.

Chapter 2: What are some of the worst ways to propose?

634.602 - 655.47 Joe Santagato

Yeah. I will say this. At the time, I didn't have a good reputation. Yeah, this is the pinnacle of Prank Frank. Yeah, Prank Frank was out in full force. And I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and I left my computer open. Because it was one of those things where they'd wheel in the laptops and you'd... Yeah, yeah. And I left it open.

0

655.49 - 665.7 Joe Santagato

I went to the bathroom, but my defense was it was when you had to sign out. Remember our teachers made us do that? They were just like, you have to sign your name when you're leaving and when you're coming back. Like, they fucking police us. Prison shit.

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666.02 - 666.18 Frank Alvarez

Yeah.

0

666.5 - 680.73 Joe Santagato

It made sense, though, because people were pissing all over the toilet paper in the bathrooms. Um... Yo, I have thrown toilet paper soaking wet out the ceiling. We used to do that together in elementary school. That's a fun thing to do. Oh, wet paper is so sick.

0

680.91 - 697.807 Joe Santagato

When you're younger and you're walking into the boys' bathroom and you're like, yo, let's just have fun, and you crumple up a bunch of paper, you soak it, and you throw it against the ceiling. Nothing better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it just starts dripping. That's how we had fun. It was fun. In boys' bathrooms as kids. I never shit on the ground or pissed all over the soap.

697.827 - 711.419 Joe Santagato

Yeah, no, no, no peeing in soap. I knew people that did that. That's why I was very upset about it. I never pissed in the sink. I spit in the sink. I spit in the sink. I didn't piss in the sink. I didn't piss in the soap. You ever shit in a urinal? I've never crapped in a urinal.

711.439 - 712.719 Frank Alvarez

That's just mean, dude.

712.779 - 720.742 Joe Santagato

People have to piss in that. Well, people have to clean it. I'm not worried about peeing on something. Oh, you just piss the crap away. Yeah, I mean, eventually, yeah. That's what you would do.

Chapter 3: What is the significance of grooming habits in the podcast?

720.782 - 722.203 Frank Alvarez

If no one's going to clean it up, that's what you have to do.

0

722.223 - 731.807 Joe Santagato

You'd be a hero. You piss the crap away. Right, yeah. But I went to the bathroom, and while I was gone, someone on my computer wrote to somebody else, you smell.

0

733.147 - 745.077 Frank Alvarez

And came back. That's it? Yeah. Came back, the girl ran out and was like really upset and the teacher like immediately was like, you downstairs, principal's office. I was like, fuck. And they had to like set up a hearing. My dad had to come in the next morning.

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745.117 - 746.858 Joe Santagato

Because of you smell? Yeah.

0

748.039 - 749.62 Frank Alvarez

Jeez, dude, that's pretty like.

749.68 - 771.034 Joe Santagato

And it's what, I don't know what this says about me. Who was the girl? Did she stink? She must have stunk if she's like... I don't remember her smelling. You smell. I don't remember if she smelled. I mean, clearly she's self-conscious about that. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't... I'm not trying to victim... I mean, I guess I am. That's exactly what you're doing. I'm victim-blaming here.

771.394 - 778.357 Joe Santagato

But, like, that seems pretty light. Yeah. And that was my argument during the hearing. Your argument wasn't, it wasn't me?

778.617 - 786.579 Frank Alvarez

My argument was multifaceted. One of them was, hey, listen, I was out at the bathroom. Here's when I signed out, signed in. You know, whatever.

787.059 - 806.927 Joe Santagato

The other one was... If I'm going to insult someone, you said that? She's like, yo, I can do much better than you smell. I swear to God. I said I was just like, yeah, if I insulted someone, it would be a little bit more elaborate than you smell. Elaborate. It would. What grade was this? Seventh? Eighth grade.

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