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Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
Welcome back to the baby. Welcome back to the Basement Yard. Frank, you're here with your Hawaiian shirt. Yes. Dead of the winter. I appreciate the dedication. I'm also here with Fred Durst, apparently. It's a backwards hat. Let's relax. Fred Durst owns backwards fitted hats. Yeah. If it's not a fitted hat, it's owned by somebody else. But it's usually red. Okay.
Is it only... No, he's had some black ones in there. He's known for the red, right? Now he's just white. I mean, he's been white.
I'm talking about his facial hair.
I was going to say. White as snow. His hair? His facial hair. You're Fred Durst-ed out right now. That's actually not a bad thing. You did it all for the nookie. We've discussed this already. We've discussed it in grave detail. I think that's what you should go as this year for Halloween. Fred Durst.
Why not?
I'm just going to wear a backwards hat. Backwards hat. Just start, you know, telling people, break yourself. I can get a little, what's that called? A soul patch?
Is that what that is?
No, no, no. It's like a, not a goatee. It's like a landing strip, but on your face. Landing strip? Remember when the landing strip was popular with vaginas? Yeah, I did it one year. You don't have a vagina. I know, I don't. Wait, you had a landing strip? Yeah. For your pussy? I don't, let's make something very clear. I know, your man, your... My boy, my... Boy pussy, your pussy.
No, no, no, no, no.
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Chapter 2: What are some of the worst ways to propose?
Yeah. I will say this. At the time, I didn't have a good reputation. Yeah, this is the pinnacle of Prank Frank. Yeah, Prank Frank was out in full force. And I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and I left my computer open. Because it was one of those things where they'd wheel in the laptops and you'd... Yeah, yeah. And I left it open.
I went to the bathroom, but my defense was it was when you had to sign out. Remember our teachers made us do that? They were just like, you have to sign your name when you're leaving and when you're coming back. Like, they fucking police us. Prison shit.
Yeah.
It made sense, though, because people were pissing all over the toilet paper in the bathrooms. Um... Yo, I have thrown toilet paper soaking wet out the ceiling. We used to do that together in elementary school. That's a fun thing to do. Oh, wet paper is so sick.
When you're younger and you're walking into the boys' bathroom and you're like, yo, let's just have fun, and you crumple up a bunch of paper, you soak it, and you throw it against the ceiling. Nothing better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it just starts dripping. That's how we had fun. It was fun. In boys' bathrooms as kids. I never shit on the ground or pissed all over the soap.
Yeah, no, no, no peeing in soap. I knew people that did that. That's why I was very upset about it. I never pissed in the sink. I spit in the sink. I spit in the sink. I didn't piss in the sink. I didn't piss in the soap. You ever shit in a urinal? I've never crapped in a urinal.
That's just mean, dude.
People have to piss in that. Well, people have to clean it. I'm not worried about peeing on something. Oh, you just piss the crap away. Yeah, I mean, eventually, yeah. That's what you would do.
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Chapter 3: What is the significance of grooming habits in the podcast?
If no one's going to clean it up, that's what you have to do.
You'd be a hero. You piss the crap away. Right, yeah. But I went to the bathroom, and while I was gone, someone on my computer wrote to somebody else, you smell.
And came back. That's it? Yeah. Came back, the girl ran out and was like really upset and the teacher like immediately was like, you downstairs, principal's office. I was like, fuck. And they had to like set up a hearing. My dad had to come in the next morning.
Because of you smell? Yeah.
Jeez, dude, that's pretty like.
And it's what, I don't know what this says about me. Who was the girl? Did she stink? She must have stunk if she's like... I don't remember her smelling. You smell. I don't remember if she smelled. I mean, clearly she's self-conscious about that. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't... I'm not trying to victim... I mean, I guess I am. That's exactly what you're doing. I'm victim-blaming here.
But, like, that seems pretty light. Yeah. And that was my argument during the hearing. Your argument wasn't, it wasn't me?
My argument was multifaceted. One of them was, hey, listen, I was out at the bathroom. Here's when I signed out, signed in. You know, whatever.
The other one was... If I'm going to insult someone, you said that? She's like, yo, I can do much better than you smell. I swear to God. I said I was just like, yeah, if I insulted someone, it would be a little bit more elaborate than you smell. Elaborate. It would. What grade was this? Seventh? Eighth grade.
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