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Chapter 1: What is the Bloody Mary brunch all about?
Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. Oh, oh, oh, ooh, ooh. You know how I'm triggered by pointing, so cut it the fuck out. This is the new studio, so you're looking at it now. It's very lovely. Frank, nice little Power Ranger you got there.
So for people that watch the Patreon episode, they know that it was up for debate what I was going to be allowed to put up here because you- Yeah. You brought a lot of toys. I did. Mostly toys. Yeah. But some stuff made it. So I think it's well representative of me and well representative of... Hot sauce! Yeah, today you guys can go get this Bloody Mary hot sauce, okay?
This is the second version of the hot sauce that me and Greg did. The first one was the Everything Bagel hot sauce, but this is a Bloody Mary hot sauce. And again, you guys, fucking listen. I'm not being a shill because you pay the bills. It is really good, and it does go on everything that I have consumed. I have not had it in a drink. Right. Because I don't know why you'd put that there, but...
But we're gonna put it in a Bloody Mary because we got Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary! We're doing a brunch episode for the inaugur- Inaugur- Inaugur- Inauguration. Joey's really pumped. He's celebrating. He's been celebrating the whole time. How do I say that word? Ina- Ina- Inaugural. Inaugural. Inaugural? Inaugural. But technically, if we want to be- I thought it was gear-ul. Inaugural. Inaugural?
Inaugural? I don't know, but- Look at these bloodies, baby. Look at that. I mean, you have the chicken tenders on yours. I obviously went with a really well-cooked hot dog. What's going on with the bun is my question. The bun. So, Greg, thank you for setting this up, Greg. I appreciate it. But when he heated up... When he went to heat up the hot dog, he also went and put the bun in the microwave.
So it came out like Play-Doh. But it looks good. It is wet. I'm excited, though. Can I get some of the... It's a proper brunch episode, ladies and gentlemen. It is. You know, the boys like to do brunch one way, and that's... Oh my god, this chicken looks amazing. Out of control. And the hot sauce, too. And the hottie sauce. This guy, he knows what he's doing. He does know what he's doing.
He knows what he's doing. He's doing stuff. Although... Thank you so much. One syrup? What am I... What are we doing? Rationing? Yeah. What are we... It's tough out there, Joey. I don't know. The trees, the trees. You know what I've always wanted to eat? I don't know. Rations. Should we do a ration episode? A ration episode? You know how they have, like, canned something?
From, like, canned peaches from the 50s or something? Yeah, like, I'd like to get my hands on some war food. You know what I mean? You gotta be careful, man. Some of that stuff... I mean, I think canned, like, old-timey, like, survival food is different than, like, rations. Like, rations you'll get, like, it'll be like buffalo chicken, but it's, like, pressed into a cake. That's what I mean.
That's what I want to try. You want to do that? I think we can get rations. What are they called? MREs? Is that what they're called? Are you asking me? You seem to know a lot. And also, in your spare time, you and your boys eat a lot of shit. So I imagine you would know what a ration is. Yeah, I don't know. Frank, cheers? This smells delicious. We're not going to make it, dude.
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Chapter 2: How does Joey's hot sauce enhance the brunch?
I will throw the money away. All right, go ahead. Seriously. So anyway, I get to the vet finally. And I put my car in a hydrant. I take my dog out. I walk in. And they take him in the back. And I tell them what's been going on and whatever. And then I come back out to the waiting room. Because they're like, we'll take him in the back. We'll give him meds or whatever.
So I'm sitting in the waiting room. And two minutes go by. And then this girl comes out from the back with a laptop. Well, before I got there, they're like, here's what your bill's going to be. Do you want to do the x-ray? If you want to do the x-ray, it's this. It was $1,700. With the x-ray? With an x-ray. I was like, you know what? I'll just look at them really hard, and then I'll figure it out.
So I was like, I'm not doing the x-ray. You're the person with zero medical experience for humans, let alone animals. Correct. But then the bill was $800. I was like, what? I mean, you don't have pet insurance? I do. But it's still $800. With pet insurance, it was $800? No, I think you have to, like... Oh, it's like rebate? Yeah, that type of thing.
I was going to say mail-in rebate, but that's completely wrong. I mean, that might be, technically. I don't know. You mail in the check, and they rebate you. Yeah. They'll bait you. They'll bait you. Yeah. Master re-baiters. Sorry, that was the... If you're going to produce this show, you can't cough. That was my bad. He's eating, he's coughing. That was my bad. Come on. This is serious.
Yeah, be serious. The dog is fucking sick. The fucking dog is... So I go out to the front, the girl comes out with a laptop. Now I get super scared. That's scary. Because she sits down and she goes, okay, so you're Charlie's dad? I was like, yep. And then she's like, okay, we just wanted to let you know. And I was like, bro, what the fuck is going on right now? That's fucking... That... So scared.
30 seconds must have felt like four minutes. I was like... He hasn't even been back there long, so I can't imagine there's anything too crazy going on. But she's like, I just wanted to let you know that we're very big Basement Yard fans. And I was like, this fucking girl just scared the shit out of me. Oh, see, they should have ran with it. They should have ran with it. Bro.
If I was her, I'm telling you, your dog has something crazy on him. It's like, pranked, you've been pranked. Right. I'm a big Basement Yard fan. That's why you're not a doctor. Um, can you imagine this kid has a doctor? It's like, yo, your son died. It's like, what? Nah, he has a fever. Did you ever see, did you ever see, uh, oh, you've never seen Arrested Development.
And have you seen Arrested Development? I have not. The doctor that they consistently run into that just like uses double entendres and they're all like, we don't know what the fuck this guy's trying to say. And they're like, well, I have some bad news. He's going to be all right. And I'm like, how's that bad news? He's like, because the left side of his body is all paralyzed.
He's going to be all right. So she tells me they're big basement yard fans, and they're going to give me $500 off. I was like, what? You better. Insane. The name of this place? You better promote this shit like it's crack. It was the Long City Bond Vet. Shout out to them. Good for you. So then I'm like, okay, cool. Some sort of thing that worked out today. Take Charlie home.
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