Joey
Appearances
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Bible Expert on which Christianity is TRUE, the Book of Enoch, & if Christmas is Pagan
He started a war.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Bible Expert on which Christianity is TRUE, the Book of Enoch, & if Christmas is Pagan
It's like, I don't know, what's it? Jersey.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Bible Expert on which Christianity is TRUE, the Book of Enoch, & if Christmas is Pagan
That's true. That's Hollywood Jesus.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Bible Expert on which Christianity is TRUE, the Book of Enoch, & if Christmas is Pagan
This is unbelievable. No, no, no. Okay, I'm not saying it's fake. You're going to tell me Jews built the pyramids now? No.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Bible Expert on which Christianity is TRUE, the Book of Enoch, & if Christmas is Pagan
Well, I would say— No, like, if you're going to change it, change it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Bible Expert on which Christianity is TRUE, the Book of Enoch, & if Christmas is Pagan
You've got to know who he's speaking to. He's saying he's one of y'all.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Bible Expert on which Christianity is TRUE, the Book of Enoch, & if Christmas is Pagan
Okay, okay, okay. Are you a chauffeur? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Bible Expert on which Christianity is TRUE, the Book of Enoch, & if Christmas is Pagan
What were the other things? You have a biblical scholar here right now. He's a historian. He benches 240 for 12 reps.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Bible Expert on which Christianity is TRUE, the Book of Enoch, & if Christmas is Pagan
Quite a girl.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Bible Expert on which Christianity is TRUE, the Book of Enoch, & if Christmas is Pagan
You've been 400. Yeah, I couldn't grow tall, so I had to grow wide. Fair enough.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Bible Expert on which Christianity is TRUE, the Book of Enoch, & if Christmas is Pagan
Do they do that on the internet? Yes.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Bible Expert on which Christianity is TRUE, the Book of Enoch, & if Christmas is Pagan
Don't mess that up. Progressive Bible.
Crook County
4 | Keeper Of A House Of Prostitution
I know people who were in relationships with construction equipment.
Crook County
4 | Keeper Of A House Of Prostitution
I know people who were in relationships with construction equipment.
Crook County
4 | Keeper Of A House Of Prostitution
I know people who were in relationships with construction equipment.
Crook County
4 | Keeper Of A House Of Prostitution
I know people who were in relationships with construction equipment.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
No, but I don't know if it was a wedding, but it was a party that I was at with you where it was like there was a lot of people around on a dance floor. And this song comes on, and you should have seen the look in Frankie's eyes. I legitimately got started to get scared. And then when the chorus hits, and it's like, move in and move out.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Okay, you were going to say fish. You have a gold flake. Oh, this fucking... The other way, other way, other way. Other cheek. Is it gone? Is it gone? Look at me, look at me. Move your face.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Is 17 the one that we used to go to David's house and watch all the time?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I watched WrestleMania 17 probably like six years ago. Yeah. When I was in Long Island City. Did you hear it? Yeah. When I was in Long Island City, I legit went on the WWE app and made an account just so I could watch that whole pay-per-view.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I mean, I think if you just hit them in the ass with a chainsaw.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Wait, I don't want to forget this, and I'm sorry that we're jumping to a completely different topic now, but you just reminded me when you said lacerate. You ever see, like, a doctor use a scalpel and just cut open a person? Mm-hmm.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
This is going to sound so insane, and YouTube may never forgive me for this, but something about watching someone getting surgically cut open is cool.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And I don't think that I'm by myself because sometimes they make the little gallery.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I have to preface this with some more information though, but like after the schooling and all that, right? Do you think performing surgery is hard?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
206, yes. I don't know why I know that one. But the organs, you never hear the organ question.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I mean, I think... I'm not trying to put down doctors. I know they're way smarter than me, and I know that. What a sentence.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Dude, one time I went to the dentist, and I was getting Novocaine, and he must have hit a nerve because I felt a string of fire go from here around my forehead and through here. Like, shoom! And I was like, oh!
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah, no, it's fine. It happened to someone else, a friend of mine. You were about to say you got jacked.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
First of all, I don't think they need to jack you if they're whitening your teeth. I don't know what kind of dentist you're going to. We do have sponsors for today, by the way. We have sponsors, the first one being, hello, how you doing, Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix, you know, it's a great invention, okay? Because if you're someone like me, I don't like going into the store to go shopping, honestly.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I like doing online shopping. I also like having, like, two or three people around. I like second and third opinions or something like that. If you're that type of shopper, then Stitch Fix is for you because – also, if you're not, it's still for you because – You go into their website, and you fill out their style quiz.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You tell them your size, style, your budget preference, what kind of clothes you wear, what kind of things you don't wear, what kind of fit you like, and stuff like that. And a shopper will just kind of get to it and pick a bunch of stuff from you, and they'll send it to your house. And you only pay for the stuff that you keep.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
So if you get everything and you're like, wow, all this stuff is cool, you keep the whole box. If you're like, all right, well, I like this and this, but I don't like that, I'm going to send that back. Free returns every time, all right? So it's a great way to keep your wardrobe nice and fresh. And lovely, okay? So Stitch Fix makes style easy.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Get started today at stitchfix.com slash basement, okay? That is stitchfix.com slash basement. No stores, no crowds, no stress, all right? Go get that little Stitch Fix up there for you. And we also have, hello, Kickoff. Kickoff is a credit building app. Okay, if your credit is under 600, you could jump up like 28 points in your first month.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
It's a smart, legit credit hack with no catch, no credit check, no hidden fees, and no interest. Okay, it's the number one credit building app out there. It has over 100,000 positive reviews on the App Store, and 98% of them are five stars. So, you know, people like it. With AutoPay, you never have to worry about missing a payment. You could just build your credit in your sleep.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
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The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And it's spelled without the C. So it's spelled getkickoff.com slash basement, G-E-T-K-I-K-O-F-F dot com slash basement. You must sign up via getkickoff.com slash basement to activate the offer. Offer applies to new customers, first month only, subject to approval, subject to change. Terms and conditions may apply.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Point stat baseline based on Equifax Vantage Store 3.0 changes for kickoff users starting under 600 who made their first on-time payment between January 2021 and March 2024. Payment and credit activity outside kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Individual results may vary. So go to getkickoff.com slash basement if you're trying to build that credit.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Do you know what I'm saying? I have no idea what you're saying.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
It oddly is. Like swine flu, if you guys remember in this country, swine flu, it literally started at my high school.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
No, that's not how it happened, Frank. Apparently, some of the seniors in my school... I don't remember what year I was.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I think they went on vacation. I can't remember where they went, but then they picked up swine flu and brought it back to the States. That's crazy.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Did I tell you this? Swine flu is when I started swallowing pills.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
But like, no, but like that was when I first was like, okay, like an Advil or Tylenol.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah. Wait, you had lizards and your cat ate your pets? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
We still don't know if that's true or not, but it feels right.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I'll tell you this. You know what? They're like, you can hear the ocean. I learned that that wasn't the ocean.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
And it's just like, no, that's sound just bouncing around this show.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I'm going to look it up after this conversation is over, but I'm telling you with my whole ass that I'm pretty positive that is not it at all.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
This shell is, what, connected to another shell in the middle of the ocean? I'm just hearing it?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I don't think the video is still up on YouTube. Thank God. But I was on the deck at my mom's house, and they had a baby next door in the yard. You could hear the baby crying in the background. My dad called me, dude.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
no my dad called me and he goes do you know what that is and I was like what are you talking about he's like that sound at this point of you hear that I go yeah he goes do you know what that is I said it's a baby and he goes no it's not and I go get ahead And he goes, Joe, that's an ancient horn. They've been hearing it all over the world.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Squarespace is where you're going to build all your websites, all right? You want to build a nice website, you're going to have to, okay? It's your first stop shop. It's your first impression. So when people come to your website, it has to be nice.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Squarespace is going to make it easy for you because they have a bunch of templates, and it makes your website beautiful just like basically with a click of a button. You just have to sub out all of your information, obviously. But it's a lot easier than just kind of like going with someone with coding or whatever and it takes forever.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
If you're gonna build a website from scratch, that's very difficult as well. Great starting point with Squarespace. And also they're the best, honestly. All the websites that we build, we use Squarespace. So it's the best platform for that. Anyone I know has used Squarespace. I couldn't even name another one to be honest with you.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
uh yeah squarespace it's the best um and uh yeah you guys can head to squarespace.com basement to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or a domain using the code basement okay so go over there head to squarespace.com basement and get that 10 off of your first purchase all right of a website or a domain if you've always wanted a website
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
If you create content, if you've got a small business or something, I would heavily recommend using Squarespace. I think that they're the leaders in this industry. Go check it out. Again, squarespace.com slash Spaceman to save that 10% off of your first purchase of West Highway Domain. And lastly here, we have PrizePix. PrizePix is the best place to get real money sports action.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
With over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winnings, PrizePix has made daily fantasy sports accessible to all. You just pick more or less on at least two players for a shot to win up to 1,000 times your cash prize. Okay, so, you know, for an example, you know, Patrick Mahomes, will he have more or less than 225 passing yards?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Will Travis Kelsey have more or less than four catches? And you just kind of do that. You can add more players to that. And you can run up to 1,000 times your money. I mean, it's very easy to understand, so it's more accessible for people that maybe don't know the intricacies of certain sports. But it's just more or less. And you can go on and check the odds and be like, hey, what do I like here?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You know what I mean? But, yeah, so go check it out. If you download the app today and use the code BASEMENT, you will get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup, okay? So, yeah, head on to the store, download the app, and use that code BASEMENT, and you will get $50 instantly when you play just $5, all right? $5 lineup gets you $50 instantly with PrizePix. So go to PrizePix.com.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Download the app. Use the code basement. And, yeah, it's a lot of fun. All my friends play it. I've played it a bunch. But it's great. PrizePix, run your game. All right? There we go. Very nice.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
We haven't talked about Luigi. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Not that Luigi.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I feel like you always get food poisoning. I get food poisoning once every three years.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I actually missed that. I wasn't there for that. Yeah, you were. No, I wasn't. What? Yeah, I wasn't there that night. I was so mad.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah. I will say this. The photo of him, like, he, like, he's getting arrested like a fucking Marvel villain. Yeah. Like, he's on a dock.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah, we should be thanking McDonald's. For catching this guy and for killing us slowly for this many years.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Well, I'm saying adventurous in the sense of I probably am at a higher risk of getting food poisoning if I'm going out to restaurants.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You know what I thought was interesting? I'm like, ooh, this is kind of crazy.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
But yeah, I thought that was interesting because then people were like, yo, someone like fucking kills like five people. And then it's like, all right, this person's going to jail. But now you're getting charged for terrorism.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Well, that place is also like a nice place that I went to. There was an E. coli outbreak. You know, don't eat the fucking carrots and stuff.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah. Well, they all are, aren't they? It's like, oh, just try to understand the villain.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
When you really think about, like, in the grand scheme of, like, Gotham, what's the difference?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Okay, so Gotham... I feel terrible for these people who live there.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah, that was a crazy photo, which is crazy because it beat out the Trump one.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I, I, I'm not kidding. I don't think that there's ever been a more accurate joke to be made.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Oh, man. See, I can tell you this right now. If you were doing that in front of me... I'd be losing it.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
It was going to, I was going to say like that kind of shit or when you were younger and someone came up to you and was like, yo, do you like this or that? You always knew.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
But it's like, yeah, I remember that one too. It was like, oh, I don't know. I liked it. And she's like, yo, you're gay.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You know what I do remember going through a phase of? Lana. Lana.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Yeah, me neither. I think it's starting to get to that point.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Really good is crazy. I think the better question is, do you think Limp Bizkit holds up as much as Frankie thinks it holds up?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Did you do it all for the nookie? What? The nookie. Huh? So you can take that cookie. And? And we'll see you next time.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
I think that all of them lose money in their first year.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Well, I think retired law enforcement brought that back.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
Frank, I have never heard that term before in my entire life. Did you make that up?
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
You love the song Rollin'. Literally, when it comes on, dude, you guys have to see Frankie. He legitimately can't help himself and transforms like a werewolf in the night. Like, you put on the song Rollin' by Limp Bizkit, and he just like...
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
When's the full moon out? You want to do semantics? Yeah. Nighttime.
The Basement Yard
#484 - The Limpest Bizkit
But wait. If there's a full... Because sometimes I see the full moon out during the day.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Skin. Skin, you know. Skin, what are they called?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
If it's not there, it's like, you know, it's the idea of like ignorance is bliss. If I don't know it's there, I'm better off. You know what I'm saying? I will say 2% is a lot. It is a lot when you think about it. Yeah, it's more than like human error would allow. It's not nearly high. 6% isn't high enough for me to go, I'll be honest. I'll be honest. I'm a piece of shit consumer.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I'll just be like, what's the name of this company? I just won't have that company's hot dogs.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
oh like let's just start eating them yeah here's the thing you know us the basement boys we had another successful 2024 uh which um you know another dog sucking season down it's funny i actually stumbled upon the clip recently that we said that for next year for 2025 this dog sucking season the theme is going to be the dog sucks you which at this point in time technically technically
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I thought that we could promote that. I think technically in a way, this is kind of bringing to fruition the idea that like, Humans and hot dogs now have a symbiotic relationship. We need each other to exist. Hot dogs wouldn't exist if we wouldn't eat them, and we wouldn't exist unless we ate hot dogs. So now it's good with the circle of life. I've been watching a lot of Lion King lately.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
That wasn't mixed with shit. Well, yeah, exactly.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Hold on here. I've stumbled upon a great point. The circle of life. The lion eats the antelope. The lion dies, becomes the grass. The grass gets eaten by the antelope. Circle of life. Hear me out. A human is born. They live their life. They eat a hot dog. They then become part of the hot dog at some point in their natural or post-natural life. Explain that part. What are you talking about?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
The human DNA. Oh, got it. Yeah, but they're not like making the hot dog six feet deep. Well, possibly. What if it's like, you know, what if the human DNA that has been found— What if the hot dog stand is on a hot dog factory? On top of a cemetery. Right.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
But, like, drinking, like, a whiskey neat is bananas and the sun is out? Yeah. You need to put an ice cube or two in that. Although, you know, like, people get into the whole, like, you're ruining it. I drink everything. Oh, not everything.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Or what if I go to pay my respects and lay my family member to rest and I touch them one last time and then I sprinkle that over the hot dog factory? Listen, that would be disgusting. It would, but I'm just saying, circle of life.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Well, in theory... In theory, hear me out. Frank, I've heard you inside and out. And there's the theory is debunked. I don't think so. I think... Through time, we have found that some of the greatest contributions to the culinary world have been phallic-shaped. Hot dogs, subs, popsicles. It is only natural that we keep finding our way back.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Like two ships upon the horizon, eventually they will meet again. And no matter what you do, us humans will always find our way to hot dogs. And hot dogs will always find their way to us.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
That's why when you bite into some, it snaps at you. I kind of like that.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Oh, like the little. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Like the little asshole at the end.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You bite it off because you're. But I spit it out. No, you don't. I do. Why do you spit that out but you'll eat the rest of the hot dog? Because I just don't. I don't know. At the end of the hot dog has a point. I go, uh. It's like a water balloon, right?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Chocolate milk. I don't know. Chocolate milk? Or a protein shake. Why do you have such a strong wrist? No, no, no. It's not about that, Frank. Have you ever stirred anything in your life?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
It makes bubbles. I mean, you're stirring fucking tea very lightly. I don't stir tea, bitch. I have it still the way I like it. Got it.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You just want to feel them pop in your mouth, don't you, you freak?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I'd rather to get them all out of the way. Get them out of the way. They're part of the drink. I know.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
They are the offspring of whatever action, the chemical reaction that you just fucking underwent. I don't like them. I don't like them. I don't like them. You ever want to eat the bubbles on like a beach? Like you see the beach has like bubbles and stuff.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Oh, they look yummy. You like that? They look yummy. Because it's also like met with like. Yeah, it looks like it could be piss. Let's be honest. It's the jizz of the ocean. Oh, it does look like frothy piss. It does look like frothy piss. Yeah. But it does look like it would be fun to... There's like a paste also, though. Yeah, yeah. All right, maybe I shouldn't. Seaweed sucks, too.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Dude, seaweed's delicious. Delicious is insane. Seaweed. Of course I've had seaweed. Okay. And you don't like it? It barely has a taste and it's salty. What is delicious about that? Bug. You're bugging. Frank, explain how this is like a savory thing. It is. If you have like seaweed chips, it has like a savory taste to it. I don't know what savory means. Umami.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
It's one of the flavor indicators on your tongue. I know that, but I don't. I can't. I can't even. Like soy saucy. Soy sauce is like salty. Yeah, but there's also an umami richness to it. Right. I see now you're saying things that I don't. I'm not saying anything that your brain should not already fucking comprehend. I know what umami is a thing.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You remember that fucking science experiment we would do in like fifth and sixth grade where it would be like each of these cotton swabs or what are they called? Q-tips. Q-tips have a different flavor on them. Put them on different parts of your tongue and it's just like here is salty, here is sweet, here is spicy. You don't remember that?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Oh, that's right, because you went to a fucking high school where they were just like, all right, each of these cotton balls have different types of holy water on them. Put them on your skin to see what burns you, you fucking sitting bastard. That's you. That's you.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
This is bullshit, because I think that it's an American staple that when you get to high school, eventually you take a class that you eventually fail. Before that, before you fail the class, you're able to cut open a frog and look at its insides, and then you also see the kid who's really into it, and you're like, that kid's going to kill everyone. Well, a couple people at least.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
And we didn't get to cut any animal open. I'll be honest. I realize now as it's coming out of my mouth, me being upset about that is a little weird. It is. But you know what, though? It's the American dream. Anytime you watch a movie about high school or middle-aged kids, there's always science class where they're like, today we're cutting open a frog. And I'm just like, bitch. What's that called?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Dissect. Dissecting. We never dissected. Dissectamine. We were dissecting the fucking Bible. You were. I wasn't. I know. I was dissecting circles and parabolas and shit like that. Right. Can I ask you a serious question? Yeah. I do want to cut open a frog.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I'll say this. Yeah. I will shoot for dissecting a frog. I will fall back on a chocolate frog in Harry Potter. Those bitches look delicious. Yeah, but they were alive. Ew. Yeah, so? You ever hold a frog?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I almost ran over one with my lawnmower. Saw it last second. This thing got out of there. Damn. Yeah. I almost ran over a bird the other day. They don't get out of the way anymore.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Fuck them. Let them go. I know, but I can't. You can, babe. I ran over one once. I felt bad for it. I'm sorry. It was an accident. PETA. Yeah. But I was just like, it happened. Now what? I would feel less crazy about a bird, but if I ran over like a raccoon, I'd feel horrific. I would feel bad unless it was a possum.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Hell yeah, I like raccoons more. You ever seen a possum?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You like them? They're kind of little cute guys.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
They're little cute guys. I don't like them. If you could pick three animals to extinct right now, who would it be? Ferrets. Crazy, but okay. All fucking bugs. All of them.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Bro, do you know that I met people in my life that prefer room temperature water? I don't mind it. What are they, lizards? What is that? I guess so. I guess so. I'm not staking my flag in any part of the ground here. I don't feel any particular way about the temperature of water.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
mosquitoes fuck out of here mosquitoes listen i used to be on board with that you like them now but like they're like pivotal to like the environment like they are eaten by a lot of different like you know like bats and bats eat mosquito mosquito how much how much nourishment can you get i kind of like i like spiders i fuck with spiders spiders and i are like this you know so like i don't want to get rid of them
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Ticks, see you later. Ticks, get out of here. So stupid. Flies, do we care? So stupid. Do we care? Flies, but flies, you know, like they have a purpose. But they're so.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
They are really stupid. Horse flies at least. Give me that. Get the fuck out of here with a horse fly.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I like hippos. Do you like them more than rhinos, though? Hell no. If it was a choice between keeping rhinos or hippos. I like rhinos because rhinos are also more docile. Hippos kill more people in the world than I think any other animal. That is true. They are. They are.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Oh, yeah. But, like, a really big animal, if I could just get really close to this – You're confident that you can – I know what you're saying.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I gotta be- I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Forgive me. You want to start over? I'll start. Let me open.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Listen, I have said this and you have called me crazy for this. I believe that if you give me and a gorilla like a good 10, 15 minute vibe check, they won't hurt me because I will be like... We'll just connect on a deeper level. I'll do this. I'll admit. Once you do this and they do that, you're in, baby. Rhinos can't do that shit. But I know, but like...
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Don't ask who they are, but you know... Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
And I'm telling you right now, the thing's going to like. No, it ain't, Joe, because that means you're in the deep ocean, you fuck. You're dead, dude. This thing just needs to fucking wag its... Do you know... Wag its tail. Do you know how big blue whales are? The eye is probably like that big. It's massive. Joey, dude, it's got to look at me. It's got to feel the vibes.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You believe you can connect and vibe with a blue whale? Bugging. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
And if you even fucking have one small thing, one little tick, this thing will just crush you. Bro, they don't fight. They eat plankton and shit. They do. Krill, actually.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I think with me, it would be a gorilla. That's dangerous as hell. Joey, you want to be with the largest fucking animal on the planet. Dude, being in a room with a gorilla is way more dangerous. Than being in the open ocean with a fucking blue whale? If I have a boat right here. Oh, yeah, sure, fine. Put a fucking piece of plexiglass. You're talking about protection. No, no, no, no.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I'm talking, I'm not, no, I'm like in the water. You think, seriously. Yes. You think it's less dangerous to be in, for 10 minutes, let's say. Yeah. The open ocean. Yes. With a blue whale.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Swimming next to it. Okay, you can have a boat anywhere. Yeah. Then me on that corner and a gorilla on that corner.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Too cold, though? It hurts my throat. Yeah, don't go too cold, because then my throat gets too cold, and I could track the water go down my esophagus into my stomach. I don't like that.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
One hundred million percent. You're in a small room with something that if it decides it just had a bad day, that it could grab you by the foot and throw you against the ceiling.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I have watched Tarzan. I have watched Mighty Joe Young. King Kong. Mighty Joe Young. You remember that? Great movie. I believe that I have the ability to... I'm not saying communicate with this animal, but let it know that I am like passing all the fucking vibe checks. I am docile. I am happy for them. I respect them. They want to be the alpha of this domain.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I know I am the real alpha given an Uzi or a machine gun of some sort, but I'll let them believe that they are the alpha. And I will let it have its time. I'll do the thing they do on Planet of the Apes. Planet of the Apes. You know? How'd that work out? There was a war between man and apes because man tried to attack apes. I wouldn't. And the nice people, Caesar treated them well.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
God damn it, Joey. You can't try to say, how did that go out? I literally was like, Julius Caesar? What the fuck? God, you really need to watch those movies. They are exceptional. Exceptional. They're really, really good. But back to what we were saying. We're both delusional. Back to what we were saying. We're still going to have hot dogs.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Well, you have to. Not before we have the ads, though. That's right. We do have some sponsors for today. The first one being Squarespace.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I was just going to ask a stupid question, but I shouldn't, right? Right. No, you should. Okay. Water goes into your stomach? Where else would it go? I don't know. It gets like, you know how there's leach fields and stuff like that? No, I don't. Never heard of a leach field? No. Well, because at the lake house we had septic tanks, which... Frank, you're a human being. You're not a septic tank.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
And go to patreon.com slash TheBasementYard to continue to support us. We thank you guys so much for the continued support throughout the year of 2024.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
This is, if you're watching this, whether it be on Patreon a week early, that's right, a week early, people get these episodes, patrons of that first year get these episodes one week early, or if you're watching this on YouTube, where everyone else gets the opportunity to see it. This is our last episode of 2024, and we can't thank you guys enough for the continued growth of
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
support, and love that you have given us throughout this year. We're really excited for 2025. Joe, right before we started recording, excuse me, was just talking to me about some, you know, some things that he has, ideas he's had about, you know, kind of where to bring the show for you guys, not only our loyal fans, but also our loyal patrons. So thank you so much. Sign up today.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
With that first tier, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday, which... If things go the way that Joey is saying that they might, they might get a little out of control, a little crazy, a little hectic. So thank you guys again. We really appreciate it. We're excited for 2025. Come take this journey with us.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Listen to me. First of all, you asked the right people. Depending on what I eat, I am a septic tank, okay?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
We promise it's going to be worth it. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. That would have went in. You slammed the rim. That would have went in, though, baby. No, it wouldn't have. I didn't even bring up the fact that you're wearing sunglasses indoors for no reason other than it's just... I like to mix it up. Do you?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I only wear sunglasses. Let's dive into that. Why does it bother you so much, Frank? Are you angry? Joey, this is a show where we like to make fun of each other and have quippy banter. Quippy banter! What's that? I don't know. You might be dead. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. You might be turned into a mummy. That's how I imagine mummies talk. I see what you're doing.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You see that, right, bitch? Frank knows that we're talking about pyramids next. Yeah, because I don't know if you guys saw, but allegedly... You look like a mummy. I mean, it sounds like if a mummy were to talk, people are just like... No, it would be... It would be like the first Dumbledore. He'd be very thirsty. Yeah, the first Dumbledore. You know what I'm talking about? The first Dumbledore?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
We all are sometimes. But when we were setting up the septic tank, septic tanks are meant to just house solids. Like the liquids, if it houses liquids, it could fill up prematurely and it's not a good system. So you install something called a leach field. So it's like a tube that comes off of your sewage line. So like –
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah. You know what? Listen. Kudos to the actor. Richard Harris was the original Dumbledore.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
But could you have imagined him being Dumbledore throughout the rest of the show? Bro, he's not fighting anything. Listen, and spoiler alert for the Harry Potter books and movies, but, like... Could you have imagined that he would, like... Like, look at how animated Dumbledore gets in the last, you know, like, two or three books or something like that.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Dude, that scene is so fucking sick. Which one? When they go to get... Spoiler again. It's Harry fucking Potter. When they go to get one of the horcruxes and Harry gets, like, pulled under the water. And then all he just sees fire and he just fucking shows.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Double doors. Just fucking, you know, fucking fire tornado or some shit. Yeah. Listen, man, I got to say he can move. He can move. He can move. I don't know if it was him. I don't know what I heard. That was so it was, it was game bone. You know what I heard, which was so sick, that the actor that played him in the later movies, Michael Gambon, RIP. Gambon. They're both down. They took them both.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
And they took McGonagall, and they took Hagrid. Crazy.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
And they took Malfoy's mom. Also, triply crazy.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
All the guys who are evil are alive. Was Hagrid a Gryffindor?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
He was in the original Order of the Phoenix. Yeah. I'm just saying, like... I forgot what I was saying.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I'm just saying, like... I don't know what I'm saying. Where is I going with that? I have no idea. Oh, I heard that Michael Gambon, the actor that played Dumbledore, would hide cigarettes in his outfit. So, dude... That's so fire.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Don't smoke cigarettes. Unless you're fucking Dumbledore. Yeah. Could you imagine being a fucking kid and just like on a movie set where there's an animatronic dragon and a basilisk coming out of a stone mouth? Although that was the original one. All right, let's do third movie where it's a fucking werewolf and shit. And then you just see Dumbledore just fucking... banging heaters. Just ripping.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah. Yo, and he's just sitting back. He has a giant... He's also kind of a drunk. He's got a giant glass of brandy and just cigarettes and he's just like... So then I says to Voldemort, like, get the fuck out of here, this shit.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Horcruxes? I barely know her. Malfoy, I don't know, Malfoy. McGonagall. Malfoy, your dad looks like a hot woman.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
What is that about? Listen up. Hagrid. What are we going to do about this hippogriff?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Listen, you might be Lestrange. I'll show you something to get Lestrange. Yeah, I'll show you something strange. Sirius Black. Whoa. Take it easy, fellas. I don't see colors.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Sirius. Sirius African American, I think, you fucking freak. Oh, my God. I had a couple of Horcruxes once. Your mother's a Horcrux, Voldemort. What's your nose, kid? Disgusting, that thing.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
liquids just go into the ground i think that everything goes into the stomach and then it kind of like goes but i'm saying like i would imagine this would be hold on this might be i guess i can't pitch this invention to anyone because we're all made by the same creator you're also getting things wrong so i don't know that you're inventing like what if we changed our bodies so like when you drink water uh-huh it like oh you want to reinvent the human body go ahead
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Riddle me this, you little bitch. How cool would that be if they just had a behind-the-scenes of Dumbledore just posted up? Yeah, dude. Also, one thing I really noticed about that movie is how dirty Mr. Filch is.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
This dude, he's so dirty. He's so dirty. In that movie. And that cat's a dirty little bitch too.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Bro, you work at the most famous wizarding school. Where are you sleeping?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Do this and you'll be clean. Well, no, no, no. He's something called a squib filch. He's born to magical parents, but he is not magic.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
What a fucking loser. You know what I'm saying? I feel bad because I feel like that's like, you know, now we're getting into like, you know, symbolism for like, you know, some kind of fucked up stuff.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah, those glasses are doing something to you.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I will say, imagine being a non-magical person working at that school, and they're just like, go clean it up. And it's like, you fucking clean it up, bitch. You fucking, yeah, bro. You fucking won that shit. I just watched Hermione fix fucking Harry's glasses with one flick of her wrist. You want me to clean up this fucking dead troll? The fuck? Why am I fixing the stairs, bro?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
How do I fix a painting that's moving? What do you mean, fix it? I don't even know how to get up to the ninth floor because the stairs keep moving. Why don't we put an elevator in this fucking place?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yo, just give me one broom. That's all I ask.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
A broom? Lots of the brooms are just sweeping themselves. Yeah. What do you need me for? Yeah, dude. What's the point? What's the point? God damn.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Morning Myrtle made the mess in the bathroom. She should have to clean it up.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
And she splashes into water, and now I got to clean it up? Good old Filch? Yeah, yo, that's honestly disgusting. That's so fucked up. Yo, they got him as a servant. I don't like that shit. Me neither. And I feel like when he was walking around, you could hear chains. Now I'm on his side. Honestly, now I can understand why he was such a fucking miserable prick that only loved this cat.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Because that's the only thing that treated him like he was anything in this world. Wait, wait, what was this cat's name? Mrs. Norris. You knew I would know that.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
He's fingering that cat's butt so fucking hard, dude. Yes, dude. He's a weirdo. It's what, it's, it's, it's like, it's, you know. And, and listen, Dumbledore, because he's to blame.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
It's your house. You know. You're kind of fucked up to this guy. You know what, though? Maybe he did wrong. Maybe he was like a former bad guy or something like that. Because I also just forgot, apparently Dumbledore was gay. Was he gay? Yeah, that's what fucking... One of the few things J.K. Rowling has said after the books came out that is not... Oh, she was like, he's gay.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
She's like, he's gay and he shits on the floor. Wait, what? Yeah, dude. Oh, I missed the shit on the floor. Yeah, she said they were just like, oh, does he wear anything? And they were like, no, they crap in their robes.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I mean, it's really hard to take most of what she says.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Not about schoolgirls going to fucking take pisses in bathrooms. But when she goes to the bathroom and then she's washing her hands and the troll shows up in the first movie, that's the only time.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
She was crying because Ron was being a piece of shit. Right. He was being a leviosa. Not leviosa. No wonder she's got no friends. Yeah. Fuck you, Ron.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I'm just saying, wouldn't it make more sense if water didn't go in our stomach and it, like, the stomach was just, like, only for solids and water seeped into other stuff? I agree. Well, I think that it should just be spread out. Yes. Like, my arms, my hands, my legs.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah, you fucking... You have dirt in your nose, bitch. Talk about... Hand me down... Wizardry droves.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
welcome back to the basement yard it's frank from the basement yard i'm here with my co-host um joe you look like a fucking idiot see this is how you start episodes i know you know you know it's just it's that time of the year where i gotta i gotta like first of all it's supposed to be the most joyous time it is the most joyous time of the year but the time of the most wonderful time of the year
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Not only have I never met Hermione Granger, the actress that portrayed her or the real life character. I'll go to bat for her, dog. You talk shit about Hermione Granger, you're going to get fucked up, dude. That's why she got fucking Victor Crumb. Yeah. Dude, this guy came and he was just like, I like you. And she's like, all right. He's like, I'm Russian. And she's like, fine. Yeah, dude.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
So cool. So cool, Ben Roethlisberger. But tell me he didn't look like Ben Roethlisberger. I don't remember.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Kind of looked a little bit like Ben Roethlisberger. In my opinion. Whatever. We've been on Harry Potter. The pyramids. But I was going to say, imagine, like we were saying, imagine like Dumbledore, a glass of brandy, smoking cigarettes. Imagine, no wonder Voldemort was so afraid of him. He was probably being like such like a, like sassy with him and all that stuff.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You know, Voldemort would be like, we have to get rid of non-pure bloods.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
He was just roasted up, just dragging him. He should be like, nice robe, Snape.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Hold on. He rented the pyramids for 100 hours. If this becomes a clip... Us originally introducing this, the 20 minutes of Harry Potter talk, and now this part is going to be incredible for someone to cut through. I don't... No, yeah, apparently... What's the price? Was there a price revealed? Fucking no. It's got to be in the... Something crazy. Several millions.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
How about the fact that you can rent all three of the Great Pyramids hourly? A hundred hours. Crazy. I... First of all, no matter what... Because listen, we've established that the Great Pyramids are like structural marvels. Yeah. They're old enough that I'm not getting in them.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Dude, have you seen the mummy? Yeah. There's Beatles, dude. There's Beatles. There's books with cool locks on it. Those I like. I do like those. And then the thing opens. You know what I'm talking about? I wouldn't get any. I wouldn't go down any paths that were tight. You know what I mean? Like I'd need a big hallway to enter the. I'm going to go one further. I'm not getting in it.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I'd climb a couple, not all the way to the top. Oh, I'd go up there. What if it just starts to go? Who? The pyramid, brother. Go what? Collapse? Yeah. Then down I go like Humpty Dumpty. You're going down like Humpty? What am I going to do? You're going to Humpty all the way down to the Dumpty. Yeah, what else am I going to do? It's not going to fall down. It's Frank. It's been up for how long?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
It's going down when I climb it? I mean, honestly, with certain luck, maybe. You never know. I will say that I... I don't know why anyone in their right mind would go poking around those places.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
That shouldn't. That is poor design. Hey, God, I know you're watching because you're always watching you, Santa Claus.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
If you rented the pyramids, I would go in them because it's like, oh, this doesn't happen. Like, this is only for... Right. This is... But... Oh, I'm going. I'm keeping my hands in my pockets... I'm not going to like – And I'm not touching anything. I'm not reading anything. I wouldn't murmur anything because then I'd be scared about, you know, kicking up some spiritual dust.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
He's going to go in there and say, what does that say on the wall? And then – Yeah. You can't read out loud. Do it in your head. Don't – and even then, I would just look down. Yeah, probably. Just look down and don't touch anything. Right. Don't touch – step very carefully too. I imagine there's a ton of booby traps in there. Definitely boobies. Definitely boobies. Definitely boobies.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
What's brave? It's a dead body. Joey. Spirits. There is enough like media about mummies. Frank, there's three... George of the Jungle movies about it, okay? Mummies? Who's the guy? Brendan Fraser. Thank you. Don't you dare disrespect me. I love Brendan Fraser. I know. You are a big fan of Bedazzled, and not just for Brendan Fraser, but also for Elizabeth Hurley.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
And the devil. And my grandma. I get grandma. Big brother. The five big parties that are always watching the birds. Wait, the big birds, too. Yeah. So that's the government. The birds. Big brother. Big brother is the government. Oh, OK. So we'll put them together. Big brother. Right. Santa Claus. Santa Claus. God, your grandmother, the devil. Right. Always watching. What a group.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah. Yeah. I'm just saying. I don't know what he's going to do in there. This might, between this, between the drones, between the weather, climate, whatever, this might be the end of us. If he goes in there, he says one wrong thing. And all these streamers have weird names. He might be talking about, like, oh, here is Jacksepticeye, and he might fucking bring upon some crazy mummy. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, I agree.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Because then he comes out, and he's like this. And then we're all dead, dude. Mm-hmm. If I hear one mention of Emotep, oh, my God. What's that? You don't remember? Emotep from The Mummy.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Now you're dead, dude. Now I'm going to end up on those websites where it's like, he's doing the thing. He was at Diddy's party. He wore the sweatshirt, too.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I will say that it's not even just fame. There's a certain amount of wealth that comes along with that. That too. Get me to a certain level of wealth. You can say I am in bed with any cult that you want. I don't really care as long as my check's clear and I am safe.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Now you have to lean into it. But then they would say like, oh, they're making him do that. It's like they're shaming him. Like they did with Tom Holland. I would just walk outside in like a thong and nothing. It's like, oh my God, humiliation ritual. Yeah. Remember people were doing that to Tom Holland where they were just like, they made Tom Holland do the Rihanna umbrella song.
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#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
One of the biggest clips, one of the biggest stars on the planet.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Well, yeah, he was Billy Elliot, right? Oh, shit. Was he tap dancing? I think he was. I think that's where he got started on West End. I think he got started on West End. Damn, shout out to him. Tom Holland. Yo, by the way, before we get out of here, I do want to say. No, no, no. I've been big on the Timothee Chalamet train right now. Dude, this dude is just like, you know what?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Whatever your conception is of me. Here it is on its head. I fuck with Timothee Chalamet so hard it's crazy. Yeah, dude. Billy Elliot. Timmy, if you're watching this, you're not. Let's go grab a Pilsner somewhere. Can I join? Yeah. Can I join too? I said let's. Timmy knows he went on like game day and he was spitting ball. He was spitting. Spitting ball is insane. I'm sorry, Mr. Chalamet.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Don't spit ball. We were talking shit about him at one point. I didn't talk shit.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I said his head was square. We did. Not squared. It was triangular.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Which it does, and that's good because he's got a good jaw.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
A very good jaw. He's also apparently very talented. Apparently, bro. He's like the best actor from Generation L. I haven't seen much that he's been in. I haven't watched the Dune movies. Really? I did watch Wonka, and that was not for him. Fire. What do you mean? You liked Wonka? Yeah. Oh. The songs? The dude's a way better singer than I, I mean, I don't know. Listen, listen, listen.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Chalamet, come on the show. Let's just fucking, you can wear an oversized sweatshirt, have your mustache. Joey's doing the same thing. What's up? Let's have a beer. Let's talk some shit. Let's talk, Timmy. Hit him up. Bro, come on. You're right there. You might as well, bro. Where is he? Wait, where is he?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah. Like reinvent the body. You know, like there are certain things like we don't need like some of the stuff we got in there. Like it wasn't like a gallbladder, like pointless. Well, also what's piss. You know what I mean? That's water. Yeah, but how does it get there? Well, I think it has to go through our kidneys or pancreas or something.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Get him over here. Yeah, he's from here, bro. L.A., you had enough people over there. Come back over here.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah, he grew up. He's from New York, baby. He went to fucking LaGuardia, bro. I fucking live by LaGuardia, cuz. Damn, yo, listen. Timmy Shouse. What are we calling him? The May? What the hell are you saying? Chalamet? Let's just call him by his name. Tim.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Timote. No, Tim. Let's just call him, or Big T. Timo Perez. He needs to get away from, damn. Tino Martinez. Absolutely. Now we're on, now. Oh, yeah. I'll call, yo, yo, Tino Martinez, Chalamet, you know. Wait, what the fuck? I just shushed you. I was confused if you were shushing me or trying to say Chalamet. I was ready to pounce on one of them.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
He's also promoting his movie where he plays Bob Dylan.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
That's the Rolling Stones. Sympathy for the devil. Bob Dylan is Hurricane, Isis, Sarah. Whoa, Isis. He's all over the place. He is all over. You know what you need to watch? I don't think you ever have watched it. You need to watch Walk Hard, the Dewey Cox story. Is that the Johnny Cash thing? It's a parody of all those music biopics. Yeah. It is so fucking funny. John C. Reilly?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
John C. Reilly, Jenna Fisher, Tim Meadows. A bunch of people are in it. You need to... It is incredible. If you've ever seen those movies, any of those music biopics where it's just like... Oh, I discovered the sound and now I'm making it big and now I'm too big and I come crashing down. Bro, it does it so well. It is so fucking funny.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
There's a bit in the movie where like he goes into the bathroom like the first time it happens and he like hits and like smashes the sink. And then like he does it like two or three other times in the movie. And then at the end when he has like his big fallout, he goes into the bathroom and there's like 30 sinks. And he's just like, ah! And he's crying and smashing all that. Oh, my God.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
It's so good. I've done no justice by this movie.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You're not finding a single one you know, huh? Oh, he's still alive. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
And then Pretty Good. I know. And then What's His Name is filming a Bruce Springsteen biopic in Jersey right now.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I don't know if I could see it. I'm going to see it. Two good Bruce songs. You're crazy. Two good. Which ones? Born in the USA. Yeah. Santa Claus is coming to town. If you were going to name that, I was going to fuck you up. The best Bruce songs, bar none. All these people are just like, oh, what about all these other ones? Nope. That's it. Let's see what else he's got. Dancing in the Dark.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Couldn't care for it. Born to run, I guess people really do. Born to run. Thunder Road. Yeah, no. Glory days, bro.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You know glory days. I know. Glory days is a banger. In my head, there are two sides. You know, there's Bruce and then there's Billy. And I was just always a Billy boy. Billy Joel? Hell yeah. Well, yeah. Sounds of like the working man in like a rural town. Yeah. They're cut from the same cloth.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Glory Days. No. His version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town is better than any other song he has done.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
It fishes out the bad stuff, so we're pissing out the bad stuff.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
He's going to bring you a new saxophone. You don't remember that? In the beginning of the song. He's like, that's not many. That's not many. You better watch out.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
All right. Well, there you go. We just played you guys off.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Are we done? Yeah, yeah. All right. Well, thank you, guys. Where are you going to go from there?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I'm going to get fucked up. There are people in Jersey that ride or die for Bruce and the E Street Band. They love Bruce. Who do they call him? The grandpa? The grandfather? The godfather? Who do they call him? What's his nickname? The boss.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
something like that the boss the grandfather the godfather the father what was the other one you said yeah it's the boss got it yeah not that good for me but go check out the episode on patreon.com slash the basement yard we thank you guys this is our last weekly episode that is coming out before the new year right it's been a hell of a 2024 it has been an insane ride from the very first episode where this year I believe is where when we talked about the you know our first shows that we were doing the live shows
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Was it? I think that's when we had announced or talked about it initially. Oh, no. In December, they went on sale. So never mind. Made it up.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
So 2024 was wild. I think we can both agree. We have the new studio coming up. We have a lot on the horizon. We're excited for it. So thank you guys. But we don't have his Bruce Springsteen. No, no, no, no. Apparently. Timothee Chalamet will be here. I hope so. Maybe even Bob Dylan. You know? Not a chance, Frankie. Dude, what would you do?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
They fucked up by not. You couldn't. They fucked up by putting Timothee Chalamet and not me. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
wild, wild stuff. Well, thank you guys. And, uh, yeah, that is all. See you guys in the new year. No, next year. Oh my God. Sign this off.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I imagine there's like an old, you know, like, you know, because you obviously, you remember crossing guards. They're all old and white. I imagine there's like an old white crossing guard who's just like, hold on, hold on, piss that way, you know, and you...
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
chocolate over there yeah you know i should have paid more attention to osmosis jones that movie probably explains a lot of stuff oh i have for idiots like us i haven't watched careful with the idiots but i mean that's the only reason why i know what a uvula is puss uh oh no that's not that's the thing in the back of the throat yeah in the back of the throat yeah i haven't watched i'm sorry i thought you were saying no no uh urethra no you're thinking vulva
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Oh, see, now we're getting into cars. Now we're getting into cars and shit. No, Volvo's now. Volvo, Volvo, yeah. You know, hey, whoever that car... Velma, you know what I mean? Oh, now we're getting... Underrated character in Scooby-Doo, by the way. I think appropriately rated. Nah.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Come on, dude. Better than Daphne. Come on, dude. Better than Daphne. You're crazy. I'm not. Listen, I think that there are audiences for both characters. Yeah. But if you're walking around and saying that Daphne had it going on more than Velma. No, no, no. Velma had it more. I'm sorry, you're right. If that's what you're saying, I think you're a little crazy. Listen, one for you, one for me.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Fair, fair. The bob cut lost me. You have to admit, the haircut kind of sucks. Hair can change. Hair can change. And I'll go one step further, should. Well, it's all about the vibes. But she was also kind of a dork, you know? Yeah, but then like, but like the dorks. I do like. Sometimes the dorks got. I do like dorks. You know what?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You kind of pulled me back here because Becca's a dork and I like dorks. Is she? The word dork. If you mix.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
sang by andy williams not ben crosby he's a bad guy yeah well andy williams may have i'm sure all of them did some shit i'm sure they were all swinging you forgot swinging like oh you mean swinging yeah no not like swinging like yeah well they were probably doing that too i don't know oh swinging i thought you were meant dancing oh i thought you meant three definitions
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
The word dork sounds like when you throw something and it bounces. Like doink. Exactly. Doink is what I'm thinking. Yeah. This show is stupid.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
It remains firmly intact. What's holding the stomach up? The intestines. It's just sitting... What's holding our intestines? Our fucking gooch? The organs are, like, connected to muscle. See, I can't even get that right. See, this... It's all hooks. This is a... It's all hooks and bags. That's all the human body is. Hooks, bags. That's it.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I don't understand how I can eat something and then lay down, and it doesn't just come up.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Because muscles, I think. Because they hold them in. I think. Well, I don't know about all that. I meant like that. Yeah. I don't know if they're holding them in, you know?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You were jerking off your stomach. I was not. You spit on your hands and did that. I didn't. Dry. Dry, baby. There's no spit on this. I don't need dry. Come on now. See, now you're getting out of control. All right.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
uh back to you looking like a bar of soap right so if a soap was this color i'd love it there there are soaps that color fucking free plug for them dr squash has some soaps that color you love that i do kind of like it yeah you know if they want to tell me something you know soap is a big one for me i love it where do you how do you stand like what's your soap like walk me through your soap routine
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Like how many soaps do you use during a regular shower? Oh. What is the method in which you use them? Is there an order? Because I have an order and a method.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
No, I think you're probably. How many times do you wash your hair? Hardly. That's good. You should allow your hair to build up its natural oil.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
oh so then you got fucked up head that you got a fucked up head you need to use some head and shoulders or something baby knees and toes well no no the knees and toes you can you know you use those enough when you're on all four of them yeah i think you pig uh okay now you're way too excited that was insane
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
How do you know what big vibrations sound like, huh? Frank.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah, I don't know. No. I would, though. With jeans on. Crazy, dude. Absolutely.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You wouldn't just hop on to see what's going on? No. Why? You too manly? I'm too afraid. Toxic masculinity. I'm too afraid.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
My masculinity is fucking Grimer, muck, coughing. Very toxic, Joey. Oh, okay. I was like, where are you going with that? That was crazy. You're a dork. Doink. Dork and pig in one episode. In a matter of like five minutes. Listen, I didn't say pig. You just said pig. What did I say? You called me a pig. For what? Something. I don't think I called you a pig. I think I just said pig like pig.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
You wouldn't get on our Sibian though? Because you think it's what? You think it's gay? I mean, I guess I would, but I have no desire to find out if I like getting my ass fucking tickled. I just peer pressured you.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I get on it, though. Really? I don't even know what it looks like. By the way, you also, you said jeans, which is wild. Well, I'm not going to, like, fucking sit on it raw. I'm not. There's so many things in between raw and jeans, Joey. I just feel like jeans would have a good barrier between me and the Sib. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I thought you meant like fucking each other's friends and shit like that. Oh, well, probs.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Yeah, but then if it would rub on you, it would be like fucking starting a fire with some kindling. That is true. You have very dry pubes. You've often spoke about that. I don't know if I've ever said that out loud, but I feel like you're right. So it might start a fire. Very dry pubes. So wait, so what is your... You know, pubes would just go up in flames.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
i saw a video recently of a christmas tree going up and i was like damn that's quick and i imagine pubes is like you know what go home do an experiment put some of your like beard hair on the uh you know light that up and put some pubes put some head hair see what happens yeah stinky hair stinks it does stinky when it's burned yeah whoa speaking of hair
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
My co-host is over here. It's about to suck his pinky. Lizzie, what are you doing over there? Oh, careful. You decided to dress like a fucking Christmas tree today?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Hold on, hold on. Let's do some simple math here. Sure. 345 hot dogs. What's 2% of that? What's 2% of that? Just a few dogs. It's just like- Seven? Well, let's think. Eight? A third, half of that is what? Well, 2% of 100 is two. So you have six right there. So let's say seven and change.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Maybe six and change. So let's say seven. I'll give you nine. It doesn't matter. I'm going to say this. If 2% of all of the hot dogs I've eaten in a season- happens to have a little bit of human DNA in it. Yeah. I consider that a job well done.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
This finger's going down my throat, let me tell you. Didn't... Jesus. But yeah, I'm eating parts of me. Probably. I don't...
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Cigarettes, whiskey during the day, having sex with the secretary. I'll be honest with you. The drinking during the day, whiskey during the, when light is out is kind of wild. Really? Yeah, that's crazy. I don't hate it. I don't hate it. I hate it. Really? I don't think I've ever had whiskey when the sun was up.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
If it came down to a drastic, heartbreaking situation like that— Where we had to eat each other? And we had to eat each other, and we cooked each other, and it just tasted like hot dogs— Honestly, happy accident. Let me tell you.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I don't think humans... Frank, if you cut a piece out of my leg, it's going to grow back in some capacity. We're not lizards, Joey. I don't think... If I cut off your toe, your toe doesn't come back. No, no, no.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Take a little chunk out of my leg. I think... Joey, I think... I can't make more tissue? I don't know if your body's going to... Think about cuts.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
cuts is different healing your skin it fucking seals it back up yeah yeah which is crazy when you think about that the fact that you get a cut and it just closes and goes away i've gotten cuts so thin that i just like i remember once i cut this part of my hand here uh with a box cutter and it was so like i just held it like that to like go get a band-aid and then when by the time i got to where i was going it had already sealed but like it still hurt you know what i mean yeah it's just
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
But I... First of all, what kind of human DNA are we talking? Because... That's what I'm saying. It could have been hair, which I'll eat a hairball.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
I've eaten hair at restaurants, probably. Hair.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Spit. Piss. Piss. Well, who's pissing into the hot dog tank? I'm saying people that are fucking turkeys, Joey. I don't know. Who's fucking turkeys?
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
Butterball. Allegedly, there was a PETA had done an investigation, and they found people were, like, having sex with their turkeys, which... They get some pretty juicy turkeys. Like a live turkey or like the turkey, like a Thanksgiving turkey? I don't know. I'm not quite sure. Which is worse? The alive turkey. You sure about that? Yes, I am. I am very positive. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#483 - There's Human DNA In Hot Dogs
But of the several ways that I know that human DNA can transfer into something, piss, spit. Hair. Hair. Skin.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Welcome back to the baby. Welcome back to the basement yard. That's an old school sweater you got on. It is. We're sweater boys today. Look at us freezing. It is really cold. What is going... I don't... Not a big fan of this wind. Sends a chill down my spine. Listen, you've lived your whole life in New York City.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And I, you know, I don't want anyone in the comments, like trying to like defend or be like, yo, it wasn't even that bad or whatever. Fuck. Like, bro, that's not what we're trying to do. Like at the end of the day, if someone's really upset by something that we said about them. like we're fucking, we're sorry. And like, it's idiotic. We don't have to do that.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Like we try to avoid that at all costs. And like, that was just a dumb thing. And you know, I'm, I'm not like, I think that we would never do that, especially now, like with the, you know, growth over the last, however long, like do feel a very big sense of responsibility to make sure people know that like, we, we aren't trying to be bad dudes.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Like, it wasn't like a... And then gone. It was a... And then I watched it go. And it was very... Where was this, Connecticut? It was because it was cold? Yes. I think that has something to do with like humidity or something. Probably has something to do with the density of the air. Barometers, things like that. Who? Barometers? Wait, what is a barometer? That's pressure, isn't it? I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
We realize there's a lot of people out there that just,
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
want to be offensive and want to hurt people's feelings and it's like well whatever sometimes you have to ruffle like we're not trying to do that we're just trying to make people laugh and just be silly and shit and we feel really bad and like that's it i just yeah we're super sorry and like if there's anything we do and i wrote that in the message to them about like we're gonna apologize i took the things down so that you don't have to like deal with people listening to that or whatever but
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Whatever you want us to do, I will do for the most part. Like, just let us know if you need anything else. Like, we're sorry. And yeah. Yeah, that's it. Perfectly well said. Did you bite your lip, by the way, over there? No, I didn't. I didn't bite my lip. I got into a bar brawl. I was out, and someone bumped into Becca, and I said, like, hey, get out of here. You picked your lip.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
No, I didn't pick my lip. It was a very serious thing that happened to my lip, to my mouth. What happened to you? All right, I got headbutt by Ruby. But it like your daughter had, but yeah, I mean, go like this. I mean, you didn't have to do that. Yeah. It actually looks not too bad, but I noticed you like doing that. Well, that's why. Well, what you're doing, you're chewing on your lip.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I'm not chewing on my lip. You remember, I remember hearing about like, I knew kids in like middle school or like high school, like growing up, that'd be like, they would chew on the side of their mouth.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
maybe like like that that i've done that that seems miserable you're not actually chewing you're kind of gnawing what's the difference between a chew and a gnaw chewing is like you're trying to bite through gnawing is kind of like you're just like i would say the opposite i say chewing is just like kind of just like you ever play with a dog and it's like i've played with several dogs
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Like they bite your hands, but they're not biting your hands. You know what I mean? But that's a little, that's a little like, a little like. Teething? La la la. You know, like it's a little like, I'm just going to give you a little love bite. So then what is gnawing? I think gnawing has like a, like a, it feels powerful and emotional. No, like mice gnaw.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
But mice gnaw because they're pathetic little losers. I'm saying like, if we're looking at like. When you gnaw on something, it's because you're hungry. Like, oh my God, I was so hungry. I gnawed on that hot dog. Like the minute I got that popsicle, I gnawed on it. I don't think anyone says it like that. I think so. Chewing is a scientific thing. We have to chew in order to swallow.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Gnawing, like there's some power and emotion behind it. No, I think gnawing is like a dull, like... Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw? Do we Google this and find it out, or... Especially because I know how to spell it. Like, put it like this. Like a herbivore would chew. Raticate would gnaw. I gotta be honest with you. Okay, it's... Raticate, right? No, the answer, the definition is not a Pokemon, Frank.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
No, gnaw is, by the way, I had no idea that gnawing had a... It's G. No, no, no, I knew that. I'm saying, like, I didn't know it had a different definition. It also means persistently worrying. Oh, like I'm gnawing over you? Yeah. Oh, the gnawing pain in your stomach. It's like, never heard of that. No, that was the example they gave. I love how you gave that like, I know that one.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Like, oh yeah, of course. Like the gnawing pain. You've never heard that? No, no, no. I've heard of gnawing pain before. I've never heard of gnawing pain. But it says to nibble, to nibble persistently. So a bunch of little nibbles. Oh, so it is. So you're right. Yeah, it's like a mouse. Like a mouse. So then ragtata. I don't know why everything has to be Pokemon.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Because everything has to be Pokemon. By the way, downloaded a Yu-Gi-Oh game on my phone. It has been on. I've been sending motherfuckers to the shadow realm. Wait, you downloaded a Yu-Gi-Oh game? Yeah. Like you paid? No. No, I didn't let it in. You bought a blue eyes white dragon? It's a free game. No, when you start the game, they're like, you get to pick from three decks.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I saw like, oh, it was like balance deck, defense deck, dragon deck. I took that dragon deck so fucking quick. Defense deck. Who the hell? Who's that? You know, but boy, oh boy, that dragon deck. Did it have a blue eyes white dragon? Oh, did it? Absolutely. It had a blue eyes white dragon in there. And I throw that son of a bitch down and I started watching the show again. What? I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I mean, yeah, pressure, density of the air, pressure has something to do with wind, so I guess we're kind of on to something. Yeah. You know what I thought about the other day? It was like super windy, and I was like, where does wind... What is wind? Wind... Do you know? I think so. So I know. Well, I don't know if I can explain it. I think it's like differencing changes in pressure.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
There we go. Yeah, that's what it was. First episode, my guy pulls out Exodia. Stop. Yeah, dude, against fucking Kaiba. I don't remember who that is. Kaiba. Who's the guy with the cool hat that has like, it's like pink and white. It's like triangular. Oh, Pegasus. He's the bad guy. The guy with the eye. No. Who's the main guy? Yugi. Oh, so that's what I'm thinking. Yugi.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Wait, the main character in Yu-Gi-Oh, his name is Yugi. Yeah. So what's Yu-Gi-Oh? I mean, when someone, he's in trouble. Yu-Gi-Oh. Yeah. Okay. I don't, uh, So the cards are called Yu-Gi-Oh, like the card game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's Yu-Gi. Yeah. It's not that hard to understand, Joey. I mean, it doesn't make sense. My guy Kaiba pulls out three blue eyes. That would be like Ash being Pokey.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Yeah, I didn't get that. You didn't know that? No. You didn't know Pokemon was short for pocket monsters? No. Where have you been for the last 25 years? It's not in the song. Why would I know that? Yes, it is, Joey. I want to be the very best like no one ever was. Why don't you just get to the part that says Pokemonsters?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
you don't it's hard like you you can't you you're gonna tell me you could start a song in the middle and know it i mean what is it so what is the lyric the lyric is um to get these uh to get these pocket monsters within my grasp uh is that true to get these pocket monsters within my grasp in the ball that i will clasp pokemon frank you made that i did oh you I had you. You did.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
They don't say Poke- To get these pocket monsters within my grasp with this ball that I clasp. Pokemon. Honestly, that kind of fits in really well. Yeah. You don't think so? No. Why not? I mean, I don't know. We have proven I'm a lyrical genius before. And this is just another- Proven is a little- Another notch in the belt, so to say. I do wish, like, Pokemon was- I guess Pokemon is just hunting.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
It's way not hunting. It's less violent. Yeah, and you can't use your hunted animals to battle other hunted animals. What the hell? I don't know. Imagine it was real, though, like you threw a ball. I've thought about it so often, Joey. So often. Did you ever have a fake Pokeball and just throw it at everything? There was... So, you know, at the lake house where... My dock is.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
There's that big rock next to my dock. In the water? Yeah. Yeah. There used to be a... Well, I think there is now, but before there was its current incarnation, there was a post that stuck out of the rock. Someone had put it there in order for passerbys to not drive up over it because it's a huge rock. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And I would go up, and when I was playing by myself as a kid, I'd go up there, and I'd go like, and I released the Pokemon into the wild. Yeah. I don't understand what that means though. I release Pokemon into the wild and then I would go and I would like... Why this? Why that? Just to like get them out because there's so much energy. Right, but where are you releasing them from? The post.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Yeah, it is that. Yeah, it's like changes in pressure. That's why when you walk in Manhattan, if you walk around a big building, you'll get hit with a crosswind on an avenue really hard because the pressure is so intense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the air pressure. My guess was like, This is going to sound a little nuts. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Gravity? That was my guess. And here's my thinking.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Oh, they were in the post. They were stuck in the ground. Oh. So the post was just like a... Got it. You know? Okay. And then I'd be like, oh my God, look up. There's Pharaoh and Pidgeot. I hated Pharaoh. Everyone hated Pharaoh, dude. No one liked Pharaoh. Pidgeotto? My guy. You know what was a good bird? My birds? Marty and Molly? No, fuck those birds. Skarmory.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
It was like a metal-looking pharaoh. That's not an original. It's a second generation. You're missing out. There were some really cool Pokemon past your generation. Who was like the big one of the second gen? Lugia and Ho-Oh. And then there were the legendary dogs. Raikou, Entei, and Suicune. Sweet? Suicune. Suicune had a little... Yeah? Yeah. You know what I'm talking about.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You had a crush on her, him? Them. It was a, what was it? A dog? It was a dog, a legendary dog. Well, I did like Nine Tails and Arcanine. Crazy. Nine Tails. I mean, Vulpix was cute too, but Nine Tails definitely had it going on. Yeah, it did. You know? Eevee. You know I'm an Eevee guy. I know.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And then you went from Eevee to, I know you like Jolteon, but I could see you being a little whore for Flareon. You know what I'm saying? By the way, I mean, we're not gonna spend too much time on Pokemon, but like, to start, who are you taking? That's a very easy one. Which one? Charmander. Thank you. Yeah. Duh. Duh, duh, duh. Anyone you meet who's like Bulbasaur, I'd be like, all right, bro.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Bulbasaur is my least favorite of the three, I think, but it's Charmander by far. Wait. Do you have Pikachu as well? So in the original versions of the game, red and the Japanese version was green, but then there was blue in the U.S. Remember, it was a red and blue version. Yeah. It was just those three starters. And then remember your rival, which I always named Gary.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You probably named him something cool like Ass or Rocket. Ass. Ass. They would pick the one that was always in opposition. So if you took Charmander, they took Squirtle. Oh, that's what you mean. I would always make their name a curse word, by the way. Balls. Yeah, like penis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Penis picks Bulbasaur. Oh, no, you've beat penis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
But then they released Pokemon Yellow version. Which you start the game and you can't take any of them, but you're just gifted a Pikachu. And the Pikachu walks around with you. I had that one. And then you can get, through trading, you can get Charmander, Squirtle, and Bulbasaur elsewhere. Got it. But you know what game... Where's your Nintendo Switch? In a closet? You fuck. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
How often do you play Nintendo Switch? Answer me. Okay. I mean, I go between the three consoles, but there's a Pokemon game on there, Hey You Pikachu or Hey You Eevee, and it's fucking bananas. I'm talking like you can go through the Viridian Forest riding a Charizard. Yeah. That sounds cool. Yeah. I remember, you know what's funny? The game Pokemon Snap, stupid idea for a game, but so good.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Like, you're just going to take pictures of Pokemon. Yo, I loved that first game, and then they came out with another one a couple years ago. Great game. Like, a lot of fun. And you still just take photos of Pokemon. Yeah. Yeah. There's nothing else you do. No. I mean, they added a story to it.
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#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
They need 10 pictures of Pokemon eating in order to research how they eat, and you get this special flute. And it's like, why? It's cool, though. It's cool to see Pokemon. I agree. You're bugging out if you don't like it. No, I did like it. You better. I would go up the block to this kid's house, and he had it on N64, which I never had. Who? Danny. Hmm. Do you know who I'm talking about?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I know exactly what Danny you're fucking talking about, bitch. Yeah, your sister's friend. Weren't they friends? I mean, they hung out with the same crowd sometimes. But yeah, that's what I did. Man, that first, when you were playing the game, the volcano level, and you could find, you know, like you would hit the Charmeleon into the volcano, and then he came out as a Charizard. Fucked your butt.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
But the wind isn't. I know. Because I was thinking about the ocean. So I'm like, because the moon's gravity is moving the ocean, that maybe the earth and moon's gravity is creating wind? I don't know. Maybe that's not wrong though. Cause maybe that has something to do with the pressure. Well, gravity is pressure.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And then when you broke open the egg and Moltres was there... What about Zapdos, dude? That's my favorite Pokemon. I haven't played that game that much. I just played it when I was at his house sometimes. You know what? The Nintendo Switch 2 actually was just announced. You need to get back into video games, but not like... cool shoot-em-up video games, or like Madden.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You need to get into video games that are going to make you feel a sense of home and love. And that's a lot of video games you missed out on as a kid because you didn't have a Nintendo 64. You didn't have a GameCube. You didn't have a Super Nintendo. There are so many video games, Joey, that you just have never played.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Besides Mario Kart and Mario Party and Super Smash Brothers, have you ever played a Mario game? No. Bingo. So you need me to get a game that makes me feel like at home and nostalgic and like as I was a kid. Yes. Or I can continue going to therapy. And we do have sponsors for today as well. It was good. Um, okay. Uh, we, this, this podcast is sponsored by better help.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Better help is, uh, online therapy. So if you, wow, that was quite a segue. Honestly, I didn't even plan for that to happen. Uh, but yeah, better help. Uh, if you want to dip your toe into the world of therapy, you can do so with better help. Um, I've had people come up to me in person and tell me that they appreciate the fact that we, um, promote this brand. So, um, Really cool for people.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I've been in therapy for years, and I think that it's very helpful for growth mentally, physically. It helps a lot to de-stress with your therapist. But yeah, if you want to start doing therapy, you can do so at BetterHelp. You can start connecting with a therapist in just under 48 hours. They have a diverse network of over 30,000 credential therapists with a wide range of specifics.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
They make it very easy to find the right fit for you because that's part of the onboarding process where you talk to a therapist and you're like, I don't really think we vibe. I need someone else. So you can do that. Also, it's customizable. If you want to talk to people once a week or once every other week or once a month or something like that, you can do so with BetterHelp as well.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Um, but yeah, so it's an easy switch at no cost and, uh, you can save some money. You can go to betterhelp.com slash basement yard today to get 10% off of your first month. Okay. So that is better help spelled B E T T E R H E L P.com slash basement yard to get 10% off of your first month. So go enjoy that. We also have Stitch Fix.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
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The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
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The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
No, I think because like the pressure, like, like, like the stuff off of water, like, you know, like aura off of the water. I don't know what you're, I don't know what you're saying. It's a little tough. The aura of the water. I think that because like, there's different air, like temperatures that come off of the water and then different air temperatures above and they mix and they're like, yes.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You'll look at it. You'll try it on and be like, oh, I want to keep this, not keep this or whatever. And you return the stuff that you don't want to pay for and you don't want to keep. And it's just that simple. And returns are free always, okay? So personalized style for everyone. Get started today at stitchfix.com slash basement. That is stitchfix.com slash basement. So enjoy that.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And friends and family, make sure you go over to Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. We really appreciate all the love, all the support that we've been getting over there, and we are in transition into a new studio. This might be the last episode that you see in this old studio, and that's because of people like you. So Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard is not only one of the best, but one of...
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
your favorites, seemingly, places that you can continue to support us. For that first tier, you get weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that second tier, well, you get exclusive, that's right, exclusive episodes every single Friday, not just for your ears, eyes, and hearts only. I don't know what you do with them, but that's your decision.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
So go check it out at patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Thank you guys for getting us to over 33,000 paid patrons. It is
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
very much so appreciated we are we are trying to give you guys what you love which is more of us and crazier things and bing bang boom so patreon.com slash basement yard we love you we thank you and we'll see you over there we'll see you over there uh but what was that i i want to just go back to the forget about your comment about me needing therapy
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You feel no, like there's no part of you that wants. Therapy, Pokemon Snap. I mean, but like be honest with yourself for a second. When I think of Pokemon Snap, here's what I think about. Being in that kid's room and he had a giant lifelike doll that was dressed as Sting and I would do wrestling moves to it. So that was cool.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
So maybe I didn't play a lot of Pokemon Snap because he would play Pokemon Snap and I'd be wrestling this thing. Gotcha. Okay. But hear me out. Yeah. If you had the opportunity right now to put something on and go out there and find and catch a Zapdos, you're not all about it. Do I have a Master Ball? Of course you have a Master Ball. Ultra Ball.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
But you don't want to use a Master Ball on a Zapdos. You want to keep that for Mewtwo, which you can only get in the endgame after you beat the Elite Four and your rival, who you aptly name probably Penis. Yeah, probably. Yeah. Ass. That was so funny because that was definitely one of them. Well, I remember— It's like, ooh, ass.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
So it's weird that this came up because we were just talking about this, but there was a guy that we knew at our after-school program that was a firefighter and lost his life on 9-11. I'm not going to say his name. You know who I'm talking about, though. He played Pokemon, and he showed me his lineup, and all of his Pokemon were named after wrestlers. So, like, his Squirtle was named Road Dogg.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And, like, his Pikachu was Mr. Ass. So, like... People did that. Yeah. You know, Mr. Ash shocked you. Yeah, exactly. But, um, dude, just, just, just why not? What do you have to lose? No, I mean, I, I mean, I just don't know when I'm going to be compelled to play Pokemon. I will sit you down. I will give you your favorite drinks and your favorite snacks. Frank, I'm not your daughter's. I know.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
As someone that has spent a significant amount of time outside of New York State and New York City. Frank, we get the same weather basically. No, I will say with confidence, one of the first things I remember about living in Connecticut when... Oh, Connecticut. College. I was thinking Jersey. I'm like, you're right here. No, no, no. But even Jersey, we don't get nearly as much wind.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You're like, oh, I'll give you this in a little plastic cup. Here you go. You got your pretzel rods. It's nice to treat you like my child sometimes because there are parts of life that you don't realize are beautiful and fun and happy. And how much do you, how much? Shut up, shut up, shut up. How much? I'm going on a tangent here. How much do you want me to experience love and happiness and joy?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Does that make sense? I don't know. I don't know if it makes sense. It is kind of cool to imagine that it's just like the wind is just like, you know. What does that mean? I hate wind. I tweeted this the other day and a lot of people agreed that it's like the worst weather. It is the worst weather. Wind. I would rather rain. Oh, I love rain. But like rain with wind is maybe worse.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
On your time, with you. Yeah, but also I'm saying like, even if we are not able to do it together, you want me to experience life and happiness and joy, right? I want you. And it's just my way of doing that for you is to give you a box of hot tamales and let you go and catch some Nidorans. That was some wild gaslighting that you did right now. And I'm actually impressed by that.
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#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And I'm glad that everyone saw that. But it's like, you want me to be happy, right? So do the thing that I want. I want is going to make me happy. You want that because you're a good person. Well, you are a good person. And you want me to. And I want you to go find. What was the Pokemon you just said? Nidoran. The worst. Not worse than... What's the one that hardens? Metapod? Or Kakuna?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I liked Kakuna, actually. Because it went to Beedrill. No, because it looked like a ninja, kind of. It did. It had ninja-like eyes, kind of. Anyway, can we stop talking about Pokemon? No. We're going to talk to something that's similar, but not... Apparently on January 25th, all of the planets in the solar system will align to make a cool view of the sky. So that was the headline that we saw.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Here's one thing that I do want to say. Before I begin, I don't know if this is something that happens all the time. it feels like it doesn't it feels like it shouldn't it feels like it shouldn't yeah so that's my point if they're going to align then what do the volcanoes erupt you know what i'm saying i i think gravity reverses first of all i've been watching a lot of hercules lately So I know.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
What was that look? Is that a TV show? You've seen Hercules, brother. The movie? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Who puts the glad in gladiator? Yeah. Hercules, you know? Yes. I can go the distance? What? Get to your point. No. I mean, there's so many others. I've seen the movie. I said yes. Okay, but there are good songs in there. Yeah. You know? Stop naming songs. Okay. All right.
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#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
What's the one that Danny DeVito sings? So you want to be a something kid. Whoop-dee-doo. All right. I got to keep going. Right. But I'm pretty sure that's when the Hades opens up or the underworld. And then the Titans come out, right? I don't know. I don't know that it's a good thing if the planets are aligning. You know what I mean? Are you more excited to see one planet or like what?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I don't think we're going to see any, bro. No, I think you could definitely see planets, bro. Look at my eyes. Neil deGrasse Tyson always comes out and he goes, look to the Western sky. And upon three clicks from, you know, pure midnight, which are all words we didn't know existed, you will see...
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
mercury you know like he says like that yeah but unless i have like an actual telescope we have a telescope you can get one they're not that expensive yeah but you would need like a sick one i'm not gonna go to like party city and get a like
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
ahoy matey telescope no we have like one on a tripod that has like a big fat butt oh like look through it and stuff like that damn you have a thermometer thermometer you have a telescope like that yeah yeah yeah yeah expensive uh we got it for miles one year for birth birthday yeah uh but It wasn't, like, too expensive. You can get, like, insane ones.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Yeah, dude. Yes, yes, they are correct. It's so... It fucks me up. It fucks me up. Do you understand that? Because by the time... Oh yeah. Yeah. Like, like, so say, all right. All right. All right. So say we look up into the sky and we see a star right here. Yeah. That star has been there. That star was there a long time ago because the amount of time it takes for the light to reach us. Right.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Sideways rain stinks. Super. It stinks on ice. It stinks on ice. It really does. Unless it's hot. Hot rain? Summer rain is... Summer rain's great. Summer rain is... Rain showers. Those are just... Those are just rain. Oh, yeah. No, I meant sun showers. Sun showers are cool. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
It's now over here. Right. Yeah. You know, and it's just bananas. But if I'm looking at it, telescope telescope, you're seeing the light. That's what you're seeing. Telescopes, you know, we see into the future. No. Like that's a raven? You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. When you gaze into the future, future. I knew you were going to start singing that song. Life is a breeze.
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#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Travel from a distance, yeah. Go, Ray. Well, it's not something the same. Remember that? I do. Yeah. Yeah, no, it freaks me out. But they're supposed to align. This is dangerous. Bro, I'm shocked my father hasn't texted me about this. Oh. Being like, yo, stay inside. Stay inside. Don't look up. Yeah. You know. Don't look up. Don't look up. Bro, did you watch that movie, Don't Look Up?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I watched some of it, and I didn't like it. I turned it off. You got scared? A little bit. You would. That's such a prank. You'd be like, I don't know. It's just like boring. It's just not acted well. I want to turn off. It's not acted well. It's not acted well. Yeah, no. It's like definitely freaky and makes you think. And it's like, yo, if this were to happen, what the fuck can we possibly do?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Nothing. Nothing. We can just hold our loved ones. Hold our loved ones, which is, yeah, that ends up happening.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
spoiler um but i'm surprised my dad didn't hit me up about this and like because he he loves end of the world shit he like he has a top five list of ways to go tsunami i think is like one that's one of the worst ways i would imagine he oh no sorry not uh no no tsunami tsunami is number one like deep impact you remember that movie yeah wave comes and just kills that couple who's just like hugging on the beach he's like oh
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
He wants to be just standing there. Oh, I think he just wants someone to hug. I don't think he cares about the wave. He's inviting death. He has been on record saying that he wants to be on the beach doing this. Do you know? I mean, you probably know this because you were in my house growing up. Whenever it was a thunderstorm, he would stand at the back window and watch thunder. I do that too.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I can't lie. And then thunder happens and he goes, oh. Yeah, dude. There's something. He loves lightning. I love. First of all, he's looking at lightning, not thunder. Thunder is, you know. It's the sound. It's the sound or the gyration of this over here. You know, these hips. Of the thighs, yeah. Of my thunder.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
No, it's like a, I don't know if it's like a dad thing or what, but like anytime it storms like bad, me, Becca and the kids sit in front of the window and we watch the lightning because it's so cool to see because you're just looking and then you just see like, you know, like the lightning just like kind of crack up. I do like that, you know?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And then I'm the one that's just like, all right, start counting. One Mississippi, two Mississippi. It's four miles away. That's funny. Is that true, though? I don't know. But I will say this. Have you ever, like, has lightning struck where you are, like, within, like, close proximity? Um, yeah, I think so. Yo, I have never felt something like that in my entire life. You've been lightninged?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
But, like, not as cool as just, like, a... Just, like, it gets, like, really dark out, and you're like, what the... It's 1 p.m. You like that? Yeah, I think it's so cool. And then it just, like... One of the, like... I have a memory so vivid because it became yellow outside. What are you talking about? It was the day that I went to go see X-Men, the last stand. So I believe it was like 2006.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I've not been lightninged, but I've been in the house in Astoria and lightning hit in the alleyway. Oh, I remember. Wait, when was that? There was one time. Oh no, it was recent. It was when my last apartment in Astoria, there was a day it woke me up out of sleep. And it was so loud. And then I was like, yo, what was that? And everyone like everywhere was talking about that.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And it ended up being this thing where I think it was like low cloud cover. And then with certain whatever, it just like trapped the sound of the thunder in a specific area. And it was so loud, dude. I thought my building was going down. You felt in your jellies, didn't you? Dude, it was, it scared the shit out of me. I didn't even think it was lightning. It woke you up? Legitimately. Yeah.
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#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Like it was like bang. And I was like, oh my God, what was that? Like I was so confused. Oh, that sounds fun. That sounds really fun. Yo, it was so scary. There's nothing wrong with that. It's, I mean, if the planets align, that shit might happen. They might throw a hyper beam from the moon. I think you can only see it in India. Really? Yeah. Oh, man.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
It says a celestial, which I love that word, spectacle awaits sky watchers in India on January 25th. Wait, why is that the case? I guess because of where they'll be and the time of the day. Oh, man. Yeah, they have all this. I wanted to go to India for several reasons. That's, I guess, another one, but not now. It's not going to happen for another one. When's this going to happen again?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I don't know. When do the planets line up? It says it's a rare celestial event. I love when people do that where they're just like, this is the last blood moon in 700 years. And it's like, we just had one last week. Also, what is a blood moon? Is it just when it turns orange? Maybe. I think it has something to do with when it happens. They gave names to moons based off of plants. What?
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#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Uh-oh, here we go. Shut the fuck up. Wait, planets align January 25th. I just want to make sure that we're... Bro, how often do these planets align? The ones that are aligning on the 25th from India, how often do they align? I mean, you think about they all have different rotations around the sun. So... You're pissing me off. I mean, I'm using logic. This is the one time.
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#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You're not going to get it. But the one time, Joey, that I try to use logic to come to an answer. Instead of sitting there, and by the way, I don't think I didn't see your tweet, bitch. I don't think I didn't see your tweet, bitch. You know how people get followers and now everyone knows their opinions. Is that about me, bitch? Frank, you ever hear that song, You're So Vain?
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#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You probably think this tweet is about you. It's not about you, you dumbass. Oh. God, he got me good folks. Um, all right. Let's say once every hundred years, I'm confused by this. Oh no, no, no. Wait, how many planets are there? Eight because they don't, they don't acknowledge Pluto anymore. My very educated mother just served us nine pickles. No, but they don't acknowledge Pluto anymore.
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#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
So there's eight? Just nine. So a celestial spectacle awaits sky watchers in India on January 25th, as seven planets, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus, and Mercury align in a breathtaking arc.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Mercury, I guess, and Earth are not involved in that? What the hell? They're leaving us out? But then that would be nine. No, it would be eight, brother. But they're saying as seven planets, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, oh, Mercury. Oh. So everyone's included but us. What the fuck? We're not included in this? All right. That's fucked up. All right. Bet. Why would we not be? Galactic Council. No problem.
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#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
That's fucked. But I Googled it. I was like, what are the frequency? I didn't write this. The frequency of planetary alignments depend on how many planets are involved and how closely they're aligned. One every hundred years. So it's confusing because it says six or more planets, six or more planets align within a small area of the sky about every a hundred years, which is what you said.
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#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And I remember I was at the movie theater in Astoria and I went outside and the weather was so bad that it looked yellow outside and it rained so hard, but then it'd be like instantly stopped. And then you just get like stinky asphalt.
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#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Oh, look at that. Whoa. Wow. I use logic and I get the answer. But then it says all seven planets, all seven planets align once in about 22 billion years. I mean, that's why it's not happening right now, man. What? Our planet isn't aligning with us right now. It says all seven. Why does it say all seven align once? But, like, this says seven. I guess because you can't see Mercury aligning two.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Because we're looking that way? We're looking that way. Mercury is over there, like, what's up? And then the others are over there. Wait, what's the first planet? Mercury. Yeah. Yeah, close to the sun. But that's included in this. And then it's Venus. No. We're the third rock from the sun, baby. So Mercury and Venus and all the other planets except us. Venus is included too? Yes. What the fuck?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus, and Mercury. Just not us. By the way, I heard one time on like one of those sci-fi shows where they do like interviews with like scientists who would tell you like we're going to be dead in a year or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he pronounced it Uranus. That's how it is pronounced. It's not Uranus. It's Uranus. Really?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Because it's based off of like I think it's like the Roman god. All the planets are named after gods. Mars is the God of war. Venus is the kind of war for real. Yeah. Yeah. Neptune was the God of the sea. Yeah. I remember that one. Um, I guess not earth. We're just like, we're just our own thing. Yeah. Uh, Venus is the God of love. I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Saturn is the god of... I think Uranus is like the god of gods or something like that. Or Janus, which is Jupiter. Saturn is the Roman god of agriculture, harvest, abundance, and time. Jupiter, no. Uranus is the god of sky and heavens. Yeah, crazy. And then who's the other one you said? Venus. Venus is like beauty. Love, beauty. Love, beauty, fertility, sex, prosperity, victory.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
There's something there is that planet got something going on there. Yeah, there's probably like crazy stuff going on I mean, there's nothing going on because of we don't know that we can with confidence probably say it's not with confidence probably But we don't know maybe the aliens have like a thing that they're doing over there I mean, they're very close to the Sun.
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#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I know they're like really close. I Did you ask me this? What movie you would rather? Oh, yeah, you did. It was like Harry Potter or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But thinking about being in a Star Wars movie and being able to travel to other planets, how many years of intergalactic travel would have to exist before you're like, all right, fine, I'll do it? What do you mean?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Oh, like it's been well established for this many years. So like, you know, the way that flying is right now where it's like, you're not like the plane's not going down. I'll do you one better. If I was 85. Yeah. And intergalactic travel has been out for a while.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
you know what i'm talking about yeah yeah i like that smell i love like rainy concrete rainy concrete i like that smell a lot yeah because it's still like hot when i was younger i used to be like oh wait like i thought it was like a fox like i could smell rain coming but it's like well no you can't you can definitely smell rain what isn't that the smell of the asphalt no the the that's like a thing that like cowboys used to do cowboys can smell rain coming
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
and i'm not doing so hot okay you're gonna do it it looks like i'm not gonna make it another year or two and they're like yo we have the cure for it you'll live another 20 years but it's on mars i'd be like all right might as well might as well it'll take us you know at that time maybe it'll it'll take us like two years to get there instead of five you know wait does it only take five years to get there to mars i believe it does you didn't see the martian dude
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
i did but i was like in and out how long does it take to get to mars seven or eight months all right the movie the movie was wrong then not me forgive me for putting my faith in a movie right yeah Movies are your Bible. All right. I want to expand on that, but we have some sponsors. Okay. We do have Harry's Razors, okay? Even if you got a face for podcasts, hello.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You better believe you deserve the best shave, okay? I've had Harry's Razors. One thing I will say about this company. obviously they have really good razors. Okay. Uh, but I do love their packaging. I will say that. And the, and everything feels very like luxurious and like the weighted handle on the razor. It's like, Ooh, this is very nice. And it's a very good shave. I use it to shave my neck.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Um, and it's very good. So, uh, yeah. So Harry's razors, uh, they're amazing. And right now you can get a $13 trial set for just three bucks at harrys.com slash basement. Okay. That is harrys.com slash basement. And what's going to be in this thing? Okay. You get a five blade razor, a weighted handle, foaming shave gel, and a travel cover for just $3 at harrys.com slash basement.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
So three bucks, go try it out. See, get a new razor. Boom. You're good. Okay. Then you can sign up for a little subscription, get it all the time. You never have to go to the store. Never even have to think about it. It just shows up. Boom. I'm good. But yeah, the highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry. Okay, so it's not just me over here making stuff up.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
But you can get started today for just $3 at harrys.com slash basement. That is harrys.com slash basement for that $3 trial set today. Maybe surprise your boyfriend with it or something. That'd be nice.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
um okay and lastly here we have squarespace so squarespace is a site where you're going to build um your website essentially it's a platform where you can build websites you buy domains and it will help you build your website your website is very important if you're doing e-commerce or you have some content or anything that you want to showcase People are going to go to your website.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
If it doesn't look up to par, then people are going to be like, I don't know if I trust this anymore. So with Squarespace, they make it very easy to build these great looking websites because they have templates, pages of templates that you can pick from to jumpstart building this website. You can just switch out some pictures, fix the text and everything, and you're kind of good to go.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I've built one in a day, like legitimately have done that before. So definitely go check it out. There's also a lot of other features that will help you optimize your traffic, let you know where traffic is coming from and whatnot. They do a great job. Anything that we build over here, a website, we do it through Squarespace. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
So go to squarespace.com slash basement to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, that is squarespace.com slash basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay. There you go, folks. And for you, sir,
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Oh, I thought that smell was just straight up like wet concrete. No, no, no. There's like a smell to the humidity in the air. What could you possibly be Googling right now? Can you smell rain? You just said that you knew and now you're looking it up? I am looking up like what the actual thing is. Yes, you could smell rain and it's called petrichor.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
thinking about the space travel um let's say today they like send people to any of the planets and it's it takes four days to get there and four days to get back let's just say that right and uh you can go to any planet maybe add a little add a day if it's past jupiter or something all right um But they start doing it today. No problems. When? Like when? Like people start living there.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You know what I mean? And like, is there a point in like 10 years where you're like, I'm going to go visit Neptune? No. My cousin lives there. No. No? No. Because you don't want to get in a rocket? Yeah. Yeah. Bro, I get freaked out getting on planes. I can imagine looking out the window. Bro, you look out the window. Like, I get in a plane, and, like, I'm like, you know the mentality.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
We've spoken openly about the mentality I have to put myself in. You know, but there's even, and I know this is stupid, so please don't dog pile on top of me. Okay. But, like, even in a plane, I have a thought of, like, but you know what? I can land on Earth and, like, by some miracle, make it. If a plane were to... I know it's stupid. I know it's stupid. No, no, no.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I'm asking because I don't really know what you're saying. You're saying like if the plane was going down, you'd jump out? I don't know what I would do, but there is in my toxic head. You're like, I'll figure out. I will figure out a way to live. Okay. You know, whether it's like, oh, I land and I just like jump and aim and I hit a pool or something. Right. Jesus.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
But like there is a part of me that has convinced myself that that is. You could do it. With space. Yeah. There is nothing, dude. Yeah. Nothing. Because here's the thing. Something goes wrong up there. Right. Don, dude, like, there's no... You can't pull over. You can't pull over.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You can't, like, I'll just put a backpack on with a parachute and go back to Earth because... Well, everyone would need helmets. What are the helmets going to do? They'll just turn your... It'll be a layer of charred plastic over your head. No, we'd all have to wear spacesuits. Joey, I don't care what we're wearing. We could be wearing solid gold diapers. It's not going to make me want to go. No.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
As I am a terrestrial being, and for the rest of my foreseeable life, I will live the rest of my life being here on this planet. If they start putting people on Mars, good. Let my ancestors...
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
deal with that what if you know how they did that space thing which i don't even i don't even know if that was real or not but like you can get in like a spaceship kind of and like you see outer space but you just come right back no no but what if it's been going on for like 10 years and there's never been an issue what do you get out of asking me these questions you know i don't like it i know all right all right joe all right joe yeah if they have perfected
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
It's an earthly smell that caused by a combination of water, ozone, geosmin, and plant oils. Oh, so it has nothing to do with concrete or asphalt for that matter. Yeah, it's just oils. Is what it is, I guess. Yeah, well... Yeah, no, I didn't know that you could do that. I thought it was just the concrete that I was smelling. Neither here nor there.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Going into the hollow earth, but you need to go through the Marianas trench. Oh my God. And you could see everything, all the crazy stuff in the hollow earth. That would be better. Are you kidding me? You have, but you have to, it takes four days to get through the Marianas trend. Okay. But am I, am I in danger? I mean, you're in a submarine. Same question. Same answer, bitch.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
If they're like, everyone does it, like the animals down there. It has been done for five years. Five? No, no, no. Ten years. Okay. We have put people through the Marianas Trench. Right. Your turn. Right. Money where your mouth is. Let's see your mouth, pretty boy. I think. Don't say that. I think I would. Crazy. Bro, imagine going down there and like the lights are all on. No.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I don't know how we're illuminating. But like, it's like, all right, for like eight hours a day, we have to shut all the lights off because you need to like, and you need to feel what it would be like to sleep. And there's windows. Well, I would want the windows. I like it better if I could see. But down there, you can't see anything. Right, so it's just dark. Yeah, until it isn't.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
What does that mean? Something flies by your window. Oh, well, I would be more interested in that. And then you hear this. What am I going to be scared by that? Oh, someone's knocking? A robber? Bro, I'm worried about giant fucking, like, the Kraken being down there. I'm saying you're down there in a solo pod. Now I'm alone. Yeah, bitch.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You put me in this situation where you need, you know, I'm not going to space. You know, I'm not unless Elon Musk came with a blank check and he was just like, you know, so money would motivate you to go. Yeah. Yes, it would Joey, but I would need to pick the amount. I saw a great question on the internet and I think it was a podcast. So I'm going to steal this and I, I I'm sorry.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
One in a thousand. $50,000 each grape. Um... I would, uh, man, that's tough. I would say, I would say at least a hundred grapes. Frankie, that is insane. Yeah. One of every 10. Frank, you'd eat a hundred grapes. I would take those chances. You won't go to space because you're afraid of that. I'm guaranteeing death. All right.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
But if I get to grape 99 and then I die at grape 100, does my family still get all the money? Because I'll die for that. Okay. So you'll go down like this. I'll go down. If it's like all this money is going to my kids, it's like I'm getting the money. And if I die on the 100th grape, they still get the other 99 grapes of money. Okay. The 99 grapes of money. Then I'm fine with it.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
How many do you think you're eating, realistically? And put big, big, big... Remember that sweet money mouth of yours? Close that shit and just think as if you were a normal person. Yeah. I don't think that I would eat any. I'd be too afraid. Oh, I'd have to eat at least five. I would get in my head and be like. I'd be like, what? Sorry, Charlie. That's what I mean. Bro, eating a hundred.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Anyway, we do have a big announcement on this episode, and that is... The show's going back on the road. We're going across the pond. The show is going across the pond. We are... Overseas, as some people may say. Overseas, even though it's an ocean. Overocean. Overocean. As nobody says. Yeah. All the seas, I feel like, are right there in Europe. Adriatic. Dead. Red. Mediterranean. Mediterranean.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
First of all, eating a hundred grapes itself is fucking crazy. No, you can eat a hundred grapes. A hundred grapes? Yeah. You're underestimating how many grapes that is. No, I think like a big, like a regular bundle of grapes is a hundred grapes. You're going to sit there and eat an entire thing of grapes? I like grapes. That's crazy. Do I get to pick the type of grapes? Sure.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
It doesn't make them less poisonous. Black seedless grapes. Oh, my goodness. Real crunchy bitches, too. I bite into them and it's like... Imagine the first grape you take. Yeah, that'd be upsetting. First one's a prank, though. Yeah. Oh shit. He took the poison one. No, keep going. No, no, no. First one. You like you eat and you go, Oh, Oh, this would be a good Santa Gato studios video, bitch.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Oh, so I'll poison one. I'll put it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But you can like, you can like somehow one grape tastes like throw up. Like one grape is, or like, just put like something in the grape. And they'll be like, oh, wait, something's in this one. And you could say like, yo, like a hundred, like every grape you eat is a dollar. We're getting into Mr. Beast territory right now.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I think, I mean, listen, man, we got the new studio. We need to fill it up somehow. Each grape you eat is 20 bucks. Each grape you eat is, no, do a hundred grapes per person. Each grape you eat is a dollar. I'm not asking you to ball out, you know, but like. Yeah, but I'm saying like.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I mean, if it's going to be like a Mr. Beast video, it has to be like, well, we're going to, I don't know, some crazy shit. Yeah. Each grape is a million dollars. In this grape is a million dollars. And if you eat it, I'm going to shoot this person in the back of the head. Yeah. If you eat the wrong one, someone is going to kill you with a bat. Yeah. What if this, right? We blindfold.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
three of you. And I put grapes in front of you guys. Yeah, baby. I mean, I like this. And it's like, You're all kind of in it together, right? So like, and that's the pot. Why are we doing this on the episode? I mean, people want to see the creative process of how things get done. I wonder if it will happen though. Probably not. But like, you get like a plate of grapes, right?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Mostly red, but there's like, so let's say you get 50 grapes. And... Eight of them are green grapes, right? Okay. I'm going to ignore the fact that you said green grips. Green grapes. Yeah. So green and red. So you know what I mean? So those would be the poisonous ones. And there's three of them. So everyone gets 50. And each one is 20 bucks that you eat.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
But if any of you eat a green one, you lose all the money. I think it'd be a really fun video. So it'd be like, yo, you ate it and it's kind of, or even, or like this, you eat it and maybe you don't even, well, I know that's stupid. Nevermind. I was going to say, you don't know if you lost or not yet. Yeah. I think. Yeah. Yeah. I would say if it's a thousand grapes, that's way too much.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
That's way too much money. What am I saying? Yeah. That's why I said a dollar a great. Oh no. 150 times 20. What is that? 1,150 times 2, so 2,300. What did you say again? I don't know. Now I'm confused. You said 150 times 20? 150 times 20. Yeah. Oh, 3,000. Oops. Oh, so then we'll like double that or something. Oh, you're just... 50 bucks. 50 bucks a grape. It has to be high stakes.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You guys have to like feel like, yo, we have enough money right now. Let's just call it quits before we fuck this up. But it would be per person or like the... No, like collectively. So you guys could make like a couple thousand dollars in this video if you like play it right. Damn, that's crazy. Yeah. That'd be a cool video. We gotta do that, like a mini Mr. Beast.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Mumford & Sons, shout out to them. Or just let them have their thing. We don't need to shout them out. Okay. Well, anyway, I think that's all we have for today. Also, this is our last episode that we're shooting in the old studio, so RIP. Touch the walls, boys and girls and anyone, however you identify. I wonder how, if you want to keep anything from here because you're that type of guy.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Salt? What's the... Oh, that's the dead. Dead. The dead one. Have you? Nope. I was just going to ask if you've ever been there. Let's just get the housekeeping stuff out of the way. Yeah, so anyway, we do have tour dates in the UK. And I mean, I think we announced by now, by the time this episode goes out on Instagram, that they're coming.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I've thought about it, honestly, but I probably won't. Frank's going to, right before he leaves today, turn around and go. Shut the lights and leave. I am. Yeah. That's what I am, bitch. I am what I am. And that's all that I am.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
yeah uh yeah yeah but what an episode where can they find you i mean all over the place all over the place yeah i mean weird that we had to do the tour thing and then you know apologize but which again we are sorry yeah go you know yeah i don't know if they're gonna accept our apology which and that's their right you know uh but uh you know where to find me i'm not even gonna plug all my stuff go check it out and uh yeah
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Yep, go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram if there is a TikTok by the time this comes out at TheBasementYard. And yeah, TheBasementYard.com to go get those tickets for the United Kingdom and Ireland, because I don't know if that's part of the UK. Yeah, just overseas. Overseas, that area. For the overseas shows. Yeah. We'll see you guys there, TheBasementYard.com. Tomorrow, 10 a.m.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
local time, use the code BASEMENT to get your tickets. That is all. See you guys next time. See ya.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
But on tomorrow, so when this goes out on YouTube, January 28th, that's when the presale will begin with the code BASEMENT at TheBasementYard.com. We are going to be in Glasgow, Scotland on March 25th. On March 27th, we are going to be in London. Did I say the 27th? Yeah. March 27th, we're going to be in London at the Palladium, and we're going to be at the Pavilion Theatre in Glasgow.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
The wind up here is wild. You don't get more wind? No, no. I would think. You're closer to the water, right? Well...
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And then on March 31st, we are going to be in Dublin. Ireland, uh, at the three Olympia theater. So you can go to, uh, the basement yard.com presale starts on January 28th at 10 AM local time. Okay. So where you live at 10 AM, that's when the tickets are going to go on sale January 28th, which is tomorrow, uh, use the code basement. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
To get ready for that, uh, January 31st at 10 AM local time, uh, there'll be no code required because that is going to be the general sale. So, uh, On January 28th, tomorrow, and until the 31st, go on TheBasementYard.com to get your tickets for London, Glasgow, and Dublin. And yeah, use the code BASEMENT to get your tickets. And yeah, that's pretty much it. So we're coming to the UK.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
A lot of people have been asking us about it. We're super excited. Frank's never been there. No. I just, what? No, I haven't. You said, uh, nah, nah, nah, I haven't. A lot of this is going to be you just making me do accents. I imagine it's going to be you asking me. No one's going to make you do any of that. All right. I'll do them.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
You're on the water No like by the water Yes there's a lot of wind But I'm saying like the winters There's wind all the time up here Like a New York City winter The wind smacks you in the mouth By us it's just a dry cold I remember the first time I experienced a winter When I was living in college my freshman year I remember I'd go like this To be a dragon You were pretending to be a dragon in the cold
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
What I'm going to probably do more of is making you stop doing the accent. I know that. Yeah. Like Frank, you're offending them. I think, I think, um, people, you know, like we've received nothing but positive, uh, you know, what's the word I'm looking for?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
support yeah people seem to like when we do it oh the accent yeah so um well i can't do it so you you're good yeah i mean no well you there have been times where you slip into one and you surprise us i can get for like four seconds i can do you'll surprise us with something but uh we're excited you know it's gonna be uh it's gonna be a time what do they say out there it's gonna be a what Cheerio?
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
No. See, that's why we don't let you do stuff like that. But yeah, we're coming out there. I just went to Scotland. I was in Glasgow for only a night, so I'm excited to... Twice in a year is wicked. Yeah, twice in 365 days for Scotland is kind of wild. Yeah. But going to be there. I've never been to London. I've never been to Dublin. Excited to go to these places.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
excited i think most of the most of our group hasn't well actually no i met came with me and greg has been everywhere everywhere i've been there had that everywhere anywhere all at once yes uh but yeah so uh for those london and dublin shows uh if they do well maybe there's a second show and i think zach has been everywhere too i think he's driven everywhere now that i think about it i think i'm probably the one who is the least world traveled yeah you know and even a med like a med has been to scotland and i haven't yeah you know it's true
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Uh, but yeah, so those are the dates again, March 25th, Glasgow, Scotland at the pavilion theater, March 27th, uh, in London, uh, palladium, uh, and March 31st at the three Olympia theater in Dublin. So go to the basement yard.com. Use the code basement, um, to get your presale tickets. Again, presale starts on January 28th on January 31st, 10 AM local time for both of those.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Uh, but on the 31st, it'd be general sales. So you won't need a code or anything. So, uh, There you go. OK. Also, you know, before we talk about anything super silly on this episode, you know, we had to get that out of the way. But we wanted to issue an apology to people that we've offended. This is a long time ago that we this is like over a year ago. Over two. Well, almost two years ago.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Almost two years ago, we did an episode of the podcast where we talked about these two girls, Carmen and Lupita, who are conjoined twins. And just to give you an idea of like the process, it's like sometimes we just like go on websites. We're looking for like headlines or whatever and trying to find something to talk about related to our lives and like do the show like that.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And we saw this headline about these two girls, they're conjoined twins, and one of them has a boyfriend. So we're like, okay, cool, we'll talk about that. And I made just a stupid comment, and I was like, it's just dumb. Looking back on it, it's embarrassing, and I can only imagine how embarrassing it is for them.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
But I was just like, can we talk about these two girls who are conjoined at the pussy bone, is what I said. And then we were like talking about like if me and Frank were conjoined twins, what that would be like. And we were talking about a part of their life that is private and intimate to them. And we're definitely not the type of people I think.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I mean, it's weird because we sit in front of a camera and we talk and I think people are like, oh, I feel like we're talking with you. But, you know. We know who each other is, and I hope that people have gotten to understand who we are, but we're not the type of people that are just going to be like, we made a joke. It's comedy. Get over it. We are sensitive.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
We don't like, at the end of the day, we don't like upsetting people, period. And the fact of the matter is we talked about something about two people who's live and talked about something that had to do with something that was very private and intimate to them and something they've had to deal with. And- It upset them, and we're sorry. We're not going to sit here and be like, no, that's it.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
We upset someone. And I feel really bad because they're upset, and rightfully so. So this happened a while ago. It was May of 2023 because we just looked. And when the episode came out, I'm not sure how long after that, but I received a message and I saw it from one of them. And I was like apologetic and I apologize. I'm like, I'm so sorry.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Don't even pretend like it's still not cool. No, it's... I mean, I don't pretend I'm a dragon still. Oh. Okay. That's one of us, I guess. And I watched the... What is it? Vapor? Yeah, there it is. Leave my mouth and it stayed in the air. And I watched it float away. No, it didn't. Yo, I swear on my children. Like a cloud? You created a cloud. No, I didn't create a cloud. I just watched it.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And there is a tool on YouTube where you can just cut out a portion of an episode. So I cut it out just to be like, you know, I feel bad. If this was embarrassing for you, I want to take it out of the episode. So I took it out. Not realizing that there's also the audio version of it that I didn't take it out of. Stupid thing.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
And the reason why this is coming up right now is, I mean, admittedly, I forgot that this even happened. And then like 20 minutes ago, I was tagged in a TikTok where she's talking about it and she's like, this is what they said. And I'm listening to it and I'm like, this is so bad.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
Like, this is like just dumb, like to make a comment like that and say like, you know, they're connected at the pussy bone or whatever. And like, I'm not trying to make a joke of it. Like I'm saying the thing now because I want people to know like that's,
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
what i said and then we went on to speculate like oh if we were conjoined like this is what we would do and then then we were speculating about like their arrangement because that's what the the article was about was like they like one of them is this is what the article says i don't know if it's true i've also learned after the fact that that article misquoted them or whatever it is so you know
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
with a grain of salt, that like one of them has a boyfriend and one of them doesn't. So we were like thinking about like, oh, how does that work? And along the way, probably just like, it's an uncomfortable thing to talk about. I'm just not even realizing, I guess at the time wasn't realizing what I did, but like, it's just, it's stupid. And I feel really bad. And like, With the show.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
I mean if you guys watch the show week to week to week, we don't like to offend people we're just trying to be silly and we're trying to just You know just I don't know just try to make people happy and and it sucks to sit here and be like Yeah, you just did the fucking thing that like and so many people also on the internet are like Oh these guys deserve microphones and everyone else is like a fucking asshole.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
They're unproblematic and Then to have this yeah happen like oh Or that had happened before. It's like, now we just look like fucking idiots. You know what I mean? And I just feel really bad. And I just wanted to apologize to both Carmen and Lupita about, you know, the stupid shit that we said. We were just like, in our minds, just being silly or whatever.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
But like, you know, obviously we said something that offended you. Looking back on it, I don't think it's fucking funny. Didn't really add anything to the show or whatever. It's just stupid. It's just stupid.
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
yeah and and i i mean i there's really nothing much else that i can say or contribute but you hit the nail on the head like we we just don't like we're like and and we're both very sensitive to this we're like i think we are always trying to make sure that we are just not upsetting people and just hearing from someone saying like hey that that is me i am that person like yeah
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
it's just like oh man you went on and on for fucking 20 minutes and again it's about a part of their life like i'm sure they've had to deal with ridicule from other people as well and like to be a part of that is something that is upsetting we there's no like we're not going to sit here and just be like that was done this is no it was wrong you know we fucked up and i'm not like minimizing it and calling it anything other than uh just sad and kind of gross and
The Basement Yard
#487 - We're Coming To The UK!
yeah we carmen and lupita we apologize and and i i sent them a message on tick tock but i've never i didn't i've never messaged anyone on tick tock but i went to their page and i messaged them um i think it's a shared account and they haven't read it yet but i sent them a message basically apologizing letting them know that we're going to be apologizing on the episode um but Yeah, man.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard. Sexy love, go to the things you do. Ooh, baby, baby, keep me strong. That was so good, I can't even continue.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
It's just a divy Irish pub. It was a divy. where our friend fell down the stairs and cracked his skull open.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yeah. And that was when my grandmother died around that time. Oh, good for her. A lot to celebrate. Yeah. I'm kidding. Oh, God. A lot to celebrate. So close to Mother's Day. I remember one time I was at Dimar Station, and I ordered sliders. And the place is called Dimar Station, also RIP. I loved that place. It was a pretty cool spot. I hated how the bathroom was up 40 flights of stairs.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
What the fuck was that about? Jesus, I just want to take a piss. I don't need to work out. It's ridiculous. But anyway, I ordered sliders and they brand the top of them with this logo that says DS. And I was eating one of them. The other one was on a plate. And this older woman walked by and just went, Dick suck. I went... What? She goes... Dick suck. D-S. Dick suck. And then walked away.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
What was that? Crazy. And I was like... I'm literally 20. Bro... Like... Astoria now is kind of known as a pretty young, hip, vibrant nightlife spot. But the bars back in 2011, 2012, before it boomed into what it is now, it was like McCann's, Dipmar's Station, and Rocky's. And they were... The biggest pieces of shit.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I can, in hindsight, listen, I hated Rockies because it was, like, where, like, the worst of the neighborhood went. But, like, I can also fully acknowledge that Ditmar Station was that, but just slightly. It had karaoke. Also, this place. That's the only difference. Karaoke. And... It was, you would get characters there because you would, you would get a fucking, it's right below the train.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
So people before they got on the train or after the train, they would just come in there. It was like, you get creatures in there. And they didn't card. So we were going there at like 17, 18, 19.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I went on a double date there one time. Yes, I did. And I'm there with my mom. And I,
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Sitting with and here's the funny thing the way that the place was set up is you walk in It's the bar is right here, and it's skinny, and it's all bench seating It's a run back area. There's like a back area, but that's like toward the back of the place You have to go to the whole runway you have it's literally a runway, so I'm sitting there underage with my mom All right, we'll say that.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
No, no. I actually think at the time we were of age because I remember it was the girl I went to high school with. Yeah. Yes. Okay. So I was of age. Got you, ma. But I remember it was like the only place to sit was directly across from where you guys were. So I saw you and these two girls and then the other person that was with you on the date.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
And it was just so funny because I'm talking to my mom. cross and it was crazy by the way that girl also tried to fight me in sixth grade oh and there was uh Not going to say that. She was a character. I have a story about her that I will not say. Also, not the person that I was on a date with. Also, want to say this. Never saw either of them again. Yeah, I wonder what ever happened to them.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Well, I think – well, that's what a fucking hat literally is. No, but that's what I'm saying. But like as a single thing I'm looking at, I'm like, oh, okay. This is like a hat. I think we have come to a place now where like fedoras found their lane and it's in older Hispanic men. Like I think we can all agree that people in their late teens – Like me. Wearing fedoras is a mistake.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I have no idea. I really was into the girl. I don't know. This is the first time I ever met her. It was her friend. Her friend. The one you went to high school with.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yeah. uh and her friend was very quiet and like she was i think her her friend was like was her name like something with like a precious stone or something like that no it was an interesting name though i remember i think it might have been because the other girl i'm sorry this is this is us i think she was egyptian Yes. Okay. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Oh, man. The good old days. The good old days. Can I ask you a serious question? And a lot of people have said this. Like, I remember I said this out loud, which doesn't surprise you because you often hate what I say. When you hit 21, did it kind of make drinking less fun?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
um that's a wild thing to say um i don't think so i think it was fine because like i feel like you could only go to like a few places when you're underage that you're like oh do they card or do they have a look yeah but like it was so much cooler it was cool to be like oh man yeah it's just like yeah got in they're not asking at the door but i was also afraid to order drinks
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Never, never in a million years. My mentality was always like walk in, act like you own the place. Yeah. And it worked. Yeah. I mean, once you're in, you're like, all right, I'm good. I was like young going to bars. Yeah. And like the mentality that I always had was literally like the idea of like walk in, pretend like you own the place. And then, you know. Be a regular. How you doing, chief?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
It's like, you're 14. Get the fuck out of here, dude. In hindsight, looking back on it, I've seen pictures of me at 15, 16 years old. I thought I was the coolest person in the world because I was just like, they believe it. Were we in bars at 16? I can with confidence say I was. I don't know if I was. Not like every weekend, but like on the occasion. I think 18 is when I started going to places.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Well, our sisters are several years older than us. Your sister didn't really drink. No, she still doesn't. My sister drank enough for both of them. Got it. So you would go to places with her. So like I would go to places and she would always, she would get in and then she'd say I was her twin brother. And it was like what I remember when she, remember she worked for the karaoke company? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Oh yeah. That was an easy one. That was an easy one. We're getting off topic. Speaking of drinking, Ant brought another little trick. You know him. He's got his tricks up his sleeve. It's Antonio's bag of tricks. Well, he keeps them in his pockets that he wears. Just in case a truck flips over with all those dimes. Yeah, exactly. By the way, I saw that clip.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I'm reminded again where you thought you could carry 50 grand or whatever the fuck.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
We all have moments where we make mistakes. It's so true.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I think that's bullshit. This feels way... Bro, I've lifted... This is at least 30 pounds. I mean, the way that you're holding it makes it look heavy. But also, you know when you do kettlebell presses and stuff like that because you have to hold it in a weird angle? Yeah. Oh, wow. So. You're going to drink out of that? We are going to drink out of it. We're going to smash our teeth out.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
It was a mistake. But it also worked well for me. Like, I was past my fitted phase. I was in a weird... It was right before the snapback phase. You were trying to find your footing. I had to reestablish. You know, Joey, we've talked about this openly and honestly. I've been a trendsetter. I am at the forefront of most fashion trends by design. Not even by design.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I think we'll be okay. We're going to get wet. Why'd you say that? We're going to get wet. So I want to see who can drink better out of it. Can you try first? I mean, it's by you. And it might take a couple minutes to get it over there. So we're just going to add a little beep beep of water.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
That was crazy. I'm letting you know. If it cuts and I'm in a different shirt, we know what happened. Okay. So. You got it. Be careful. Don't blast your teeth out.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Be careful of your teeth. Is it that heavy? Yo, it is heavy, brother. Let's try this hand because this wrist. That's what it is. Almost went. Yep. Easy. Yep. Yep.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
By the way, if you're listening on audio, this is going exactly the way that you think it's going. Just get a little sip. Are you going two hands? Oh, he's double-handed.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Now he's doing... This looks like it's not going to work out at all. Oh, it's good. You're good. He's got two hands.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yeah. You can do it? You got it. Are you giving up? No. All right. The more you try, the more you get wet. Here we go. Yeah. Yeah. Hype yourself up. Hype yourself up. Who's the man?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Thank you. Thank you so much. You just had to hype yourself up and scream a little.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Keep me running back to you. Running back to you. Do my love, make it up to you.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
That's heavy. That's a heavy guy. Now I'm worried I'm not going to be able to do this. Hold on, I'm going to clean the mouth off. You're cleaning it like a priest. There you go. I probably shouldn't do that, right? What did you say? I was going to be a priest. Oh, you could be a priest. No. Was I supposed to understand what you were about to do? I was going to say something crazy. Oh.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Too much? No, no. I think you should do more, honestly. Shut up. Here. All right. Let me try. All right. Give it a shot because this is a heavy baby.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Holy shit. Yo, that is – I don't know if I can pick that up. I don't think – like, I think 20 pounds is not accurate because that feels like a 35-pounder. There's no way this is 20 pounds. I could throw 20 pounds in the – Yeah, I agree. 20 pounds is light work. Ozone. Can you look it up while we're doing this?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
No, it doesn't – yeah, that doesn't mean shit. I'm telling you, that's heavier than 20 pounds, 22 pounds. Look at you! I'm getting ready. Well, you have to put this down so it doesn't smash on the table, so take that. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Fuck you, dude. You got this. I know. Bro, that could kill someone. Yeah. Easily. Okay. Alright, go one hand. This is gonna be hard. Bro, I'm not even kidding. I could see someone breaking their wrist trying to do this. Let's go, mother sucker! Just go come on baby. Hey look at me.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yeah, yeah You have to cuz here's the part here's the hard part you can pick it up you need to this I know I told you I
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
By coincidence is what I'm trying to say. I start wearing something and then it gets popular. Fedoras. Fedoras. Hawaiian shirts. Snapbacks. It was me. You are credited with the snapback. Are you insane? I think I, and why are you looking at me like that? I think I deserve a lot of credit for the comeuppance of snapbacks.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
You need the tilt or you got to crouch yourself. You got this. Hey, hey, hey. It's hard. Okay, let me try again. You got it. I'm going left now. We're going left. We'll do it live. I don't think left is going to work for you, man. All right.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I'm afraid you're going to smash my teeth in.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Here, you can do two. This shit is healthy. You can do two. Healthy?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Okay. The body of Christ. Amen. Be like a priest. Oh, easy.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yeah. All right. All right. So that's not fun. How about this? How about I try to lift it with one hand and pour it in your mouth? Are you insane? Mama.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Oh, man. Well, I guess good on you, my friend. Thank you. Oh, my God. It's healthy. Okay. Get serious. All right? Because there's that. Brand new laptop. I'm fucking tired, dude. We have some ads... What is this show? I don't know. What is it? I'll tell you what. It isn't a Harry show. Well, no. I meant it is Harry's. We're not Harry is what I meant. Oh, well. Because of Harry's razors.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
They're the best razors on the market, folks. Okay. They're German engineered blades made in their own factory that stay sharp. Also, I want to go out on a limb and say this, not part of the ad read, some of the best packaging I've ever seen in my life. Love it. Love their stuff. But they have extra strength, high quality, amazing smelling deodorant for just $5.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
They have hair and other grooming products as well. But yeah, so you have customizable delivery options for scheduled refills as low as $2, half of what you would pay for other big brands. So saving some money there. And it's also nice. You get new razors because you can't just keep using the same razor. Eventually they just get dull and then you start cutting yourself. You get razor burn.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Trust me. Look at my neck. But, yeah, you have a no-risk trial. If you don't like your shave, no worries. It's on them. There's a convenient subscription option. Like I said, you can cancel that at any time whenever you want. But their normal trial set is $10, but right now you can get it for just $6 at harrys.com slash basement, okay? That is harrys.com slash basement for that $6 trial set.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
So go jump on it, folks. Harry's Razor is the best razors in the game. And then we also have Squarespace. Squarespace is where you're going to build your website. You can go on their website and you can build a professional-looking website in a day, in an afternoon. Honestly, I've done it before. So their templates are amazing. They make it very easy to make a professional-looking website.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Websites are very important. And you know that if you have an e-commerce business.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
or you know you make content or something like that you need a website this is your first impression so it's important that you have a good looking website so uh squarespace is going to help you do that they also have a lot of tools that will help you optimize all of your traffic and get everything you know in one place okay you can build your website and then you can have these tools to help you grow your website and your traffic all in the same place so
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
It is great. So you can head to squarespace.com slash basement. Use that offer code basement, and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain, okay? Again, the offer code is basement. So squarespace.com. The offer code is basement, and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. So get to it, folks. And you know what?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Did you make that up? Because I like it. Comeuppance. I didn't come up with comeuppance. Comeuppance had its comeuppance prior to me. Is it a word? I'm just continuing the comeuppance. I feel like I'm not getting an answer.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Whatever journey you're on, whatever you're doing with your life. Sorry. You know why I coughed? My body is literally bursting with excitement to tell you about Patreon. Patreon.com slash Basement Yard, folks. That's where you get more of us, more of us a little early. And, you know, everyone always says, Joe, why are you always, you know, premature? Well, this is why. I'm sorry.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
It's all right. All right. Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. You sign up for that first year. You get these weekly episodes one week in advance. That second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday morning. So you could start and end your week with the basement yard. And those episodes on Friday, they do get a little crazy.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I was just talking to Ann about doing one and they're, they're a little nuts. And Ann was just like, what if I just like whip my dong out? And I said, don't do that, Ann. And he's like, I'm going to show you anyway. And I said, please don't. And then Joe said, please do. Maybe you'll find that on Patreon. You're definitely not gonna.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
But thank you guys so much for getting us to finally over 34,000 paid patrons. Unbelievable. The support and love is something that we often talk about and it is supporting us directly. So thank you. And do yourself and us
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
the favor if you go to patreon.com slash the basement yard on a web browser you actually type in that url and you don't use an app you actually save yourself some money signing up that way so you want to save yourself some money you want to give the gift father's day uh birthdays uh arbor day whatever i don't care whatever you want go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard and as joe said at the top of the show
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
The live shows are back, baby. And boy, oh boy, are we excited for them. So if you have not been able yet to secure your tickets or you're just waiting to figure out, like, let's put a fun time together with me and some friends, go to TheBasementYard.com. Check out the live show schedule. There's tickets available in some places, some are not. Just go check it out.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Now, laborious, I fully take credit for that, and I think you can attest that laborious was only made – it was brought back into the stratosphere of popularity because – To annoy me, and it worked. I don't – And it did work. Why does it annoy you? Why did it annoy you, I should say? Because I think at this point you're not annoyed by it.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
And if you're coming to any of those shows, go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit. A portion of the shows is fan interaction, and we talk with you guys, about you guys, to you guys. It's kind of crazy. So many links, so many URLs. I'm sorry if I'm just spewing all this nonsense at you, but that's the way it goes. So go check it out. Thank you. Thank you. Bye.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
This is why he doesn't let me do ad reads. What the hell was that, dude? Thank you. Bye. This is why he doesn't let me do ad reads. He's a little upset with how I do them. Let's get a moment of silence, though, for porn. A moment of silence for porn? Yeah, it's being... Apparently, isn't it being... Oh, I was like... It's like there's a chance that it could get banned. Okay, yes.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I love how you said moment of silences are like... For dead. For dead, like people like, oh, let's have a moment of silence. They do it on like, you know, like the anniversary of D-Day. And I guess now you want to do it on behalf of... The potential of porn getting banned? Not on the heels of D-Day. There are some lawmakers that are... They want to ban porn. Potentially trying to ban porn.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
You know my feelings on porn. You love it. I'm just saying, like... Is this a bad thing? I mean, this is a weird... Like, how do you argue on behalf of this? Of Bahorn? Like, who is going to?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
of before like who's gonna be the person who should be like we shouldn't ban pornography that's a weird thing to defend even if you're like pro-porn i think it's more of just like who's gonna be the congress person good job like that that's going to come forward and just be like wait a second guys take it easy being a little hard on porn i think it's more about like
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
freedom to do well if you want sure but there's I think that the way that they are approaching it is like they want to protect against like obscene material what's obscene I think porn is obscene what is obscene to me obscene means like Like, a next level of, like, whatever. Like, two people having sex is not obscene. No, correct.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I don't think porn is just like, here's two people just having regular sex. Here's two people in love.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
No one is being like, oh, this is a loving couple. It'll be like, you know, like, oh, my stepmom is such a dirty slut today. It's like... What the hell is going on? I got stuck in the dryer.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
How? It's circular. There's nothing to get caught on.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
What the hell? I didn't order 12 pizza pies by 12 different people. That's the obscene parts. But, like, who's going to defend that? Yeah, I don't know. Who's the person that's going to be like, you know what, I'm going to stand up for porn? Well, I think that, like, people who work in the industry obviously are going to be like, bro, we should be able to fuck each other.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Hold on before we go any further by the way guys Tickets are on sale right now go to the basement yard comm go get yourself some tickets come to one of our shows We are very excited to get out there on the road. It's gonna be a fun day We have a lot of cool stuff planned. But, yeah, go get your tickets at TheBasementYard.com.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I don't think anyone is taking that right from them. You know what I mean? On tape, for monies. Well, like, here's... I guess, how do you... Like, do you draw the line then at, like, OnlyFans? Why don't we do this? I think a good compromise is that we just change the titles.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Like, why don't we make it so, like, we just write, like, two young people really in love or having sex, and even if they're going crazy on each other... I don't think anyone's in love to shove their dick in a pizza pie and then open a box and show it. No, but, you know. You don't... What is the show? Love makes you do crazy stuff.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
You know, like, put that, like, down there and, like, try to... You know what I mean? Maybe that softens the mold. So you think it's just the title that might be the obscene part, not the content. I think that... Honestly, I think maybe. Like, sometimes the obscene part is the title, where it's like, Big white pole in little petite. And you're like, bro, chill. Like... Take it easy.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Like, why can't we just say, like, a nice guy, nice girl, meet, and have a good time? Do me a favor. When you guys submit this to get uploaded, just let me know the moment at which it got demonetized. Right, yeah. If it was not during this conversation, I would be astonished. It'll give us a time shift. Yeah, like, she can't just be like, oh, she's a scientist. She's always a...
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
filthy, pigtailed... So you think whoever's job it is to come up with the titles, they should just be like... Take it easy. Take it easy. So, like, if it's, you know, just be like, you know what? Be in love. Woman had a hard work week. And what's a hard dicking? Well, see... Well, that's a compromise. No, I think you could pull it back more.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Listen, also, I have to admit, like, it's a weird thing to defend, but, like... Just be like, go like the non-obscene route. Just be like. Tough week at work. Someone just needs a little R&R. You know? What's that? R&R could be like... What is that? Like Ronnie and Ryan. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but what is R&R? I don't know what it actually stands for. It's like rest and relaxation.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
That song's been in my head for like a year. You just sang it before we started recording. And I figured that might as well start with that. I literally like for a year, this has been in my head. You know what? Like completely forgot about until I was recently listening to my 2007 hits. Yes. Remember the dream, the American dream.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Is that it? I don't know. Yeah, people use that term. Okay. But like make it something like that. But then also the context, like the actual substance that it is, is probably the obscene part too. Yeah. I just think that it's probably better for, you know, especially with the younger men of the world who are kind of psychotic at the moment, I will say.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
And I don't think there needs to be more of this aggressive, like, bent over fucking...
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
You know what I mean? I mean, soften up the titles. I've said this before, and I know it's a joke at this point, but I wonder how many people in the world today, their view of sex is what they've seen in porn. An overwhelming majority. So, like, there might be an argument for it because, like, how many, like, unhealthy relationships have come out of that?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
If you already bought tickets also, go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit and submit to those prompts because that's like a little section of our show where we like to do some interaction with you guys. And usually there's a lot of psychos out there, which is great. It's good for us. We had so much fun last year in Europe, and now we're excited because – We're back in the States. We're back.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Maybe also there's something to suggest that there have been healthy relationships that have come out of it. Sure. But I think the funniest part of this is that someone's going to have to go up there and defend it. I don't think that they're defending porn as, like—
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I love porn chill out like I don't think it's like that I think it's more of like how can you stop people from wanting to have sex on camera for money if people are willing to pay for it's more of like a freedoms thing as much as I think it's more of that than it is like I need jackhammer porn. Well, there is a duty to protect what media can and can't be out there.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
So that's the approach they're taking is that, like, if it's obscene material, we cannot allow it to be. you know, peddled to the masses. I think that we should probably just start, if we're going to, if we're going to get to a compromise, we should start dialing things back. So I don't think that anyone needs to be stretching open anything.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Like what if they just started adding in like, no more stretching. Like they take out like certain like audio tracks and put in like sound effects, you know? Yeah. Boom. Boing, yoing, yoing, yoing, yoing. Yeah, something like that. What happened to that? What happened when the tongue would fall out of the mouth? And the eyes would pop out and it would be like a wolf?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yeah, but we don't need any of the stretching. You're sticking on the stretching. Because that's obscene to me. I mean, all of it is. Yeah, I get that. But no, that specifically is like, no two girls, one cup. Oh my God. You can't have that. Do you even consider what that was to be pornographic? There was two naked women. I feel like that was just a nightmare-ish.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I heard that was like a movie and like it was a scene in the movie. i don't i don't oscar winner and the academy goes to two girls one cup uh i was so i got it yeah you know but yeah they're gonna they're gonna ban the the pern which is fine where do you draw the line because the new grand theft auto game is coming out next year and like i'm sure you could do stuff in that yeah
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Can you do stuff in the last one? I mean, you could, like... I've, like, went to a strip club and I beat up the owner and took some cash. I think in the last one.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
You lose 50 bucks and then they walk out of the car. They're like, thanks, daddy! You know. And then you shoot them and they take it back. Everyone did that. This is crazy. Everyone did that. I've also... What a wild game, dude. It's such a crazy game. My mom bought it for me. That is crazy. But she was like, I didn't know. I was like, the name of the game is a crime.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
You ever think of how naive your mom was and just be like, it was kind of cute? Yeah, the game is named after a felon. Yeah, but that's only one part of it. And there's a guy with a dog and a gun.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yeah, but that's not like... She probably didn't know I was going to be... You didn't know, like, yeah, you can run around and shoot and stuff, but also, like, they didn't know that you can go and, like, you know...
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
get back alley hand jobs and shit like that I never did any of that I would just do like weapons cheats and I would fight the police and I would like drive through crowds of people what I would okay I would do that too and this is when I played Grand Theft Auto 5 which was the one that came out yeah what 12 years ago at this point almost 13 by the time the next one comes out
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
i would my my thing was i would drive through the airport to try to steal a plane and see if i can get away because when you drive into the airport instantly the most amount of stars like the police are after you yeah um so like that i always felt like how long could i you know yeah that's usually how i played that game too just do shit like have you seen the trailer for the new one i yeah i have the internet's quite a buzz for it
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Because the main, for the first time ever, one of the main characters is a woman. Okay. And it's in Miami. Right. So, like, people are like, could you go and get, like, a BBL for this thing? You know? Dr. Miami's in the game. But, like, bro, in Grand Theft Auto V, like, you could do some, like, you could put them in, like, underwear and running around and shit like that. Really? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Back in the, not New York, but. What are you doing?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I forget how that game went. It was three guys, though. That's what I'm saying. Like, you can run around in underwear as three guys. Like, you think the pervs are going to be out in full force for this? Frankie. You think so? Obviously, they're going to be out. They're going to be in full, like. When does this game come out? Next May. May 2026. I mean, if they ban porn. So, there's a good question.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
It's like. That's what's going on. You remember the whole thing with Grand Theft Auto San Andreas? The whole coffee, cup of coffee thing? No. You don't remember that? Hillary Clinton was like big on that. It was a – I think it was a mission in the game that like you could only get to with a cheat code. And it was like you go on a date and then you go home and you – fuck. What?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Back in the groove. Oh, yeah. We're back. There's so many songs we could sing. Boys are back in town. Right. Back in black. Back in, well. Yeah, no. I don't think that works. I just think of back. Motown Philly back again. We can walk out to that in Philly. Okay. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Is that Boyz II Men? Yes. Okay. Backstreet's back. Backstreet's back, but we're not Backstreet.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I don't think you can, like... What? I don't think you can, like, control during the sex, but, like, it'll be like... There's a scene? There's a scene where it'll be, like, outside. You know what I'm talking about.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
But I remember in, like, Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, it was, like, a big... It was a big thing. People were using that to, like, ban video games.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
that there was like a sex scene in it can you look it up while we're talking that's so weird though like why even put that in there I kind of agree like it's weird like at what level is it like bro in Red Dead Redemption 2 you can go like hunting and fishing which like there are video games specifically for that do you yeah you can play darts and poker
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Like, why am I going to play a video game to play darts and poker and fish? So I agree with you, but then there's something in my mind. I remember I would watch – this was a while ago when I would stream on Twitch. So I would watch some people playing, and there's a game where it's just power washing. And, like, shit is dirty, and you're just power washing it.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
And I was like, all right, I could – like – But those are different games. I'm saying, like, that doesn't need to be in Grand Theft Auto. Yeah. Like, in Grand Theft Auto, I shouldn't be able to open a fucking, like... Yeah, you shoot a person in the head and then you power wash them? Yeah, like a lawn mowing business. I did play that game. That game was incredible. What's that?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
It was, like, lawn mowing simulator or something like that. It was on your phone? No, it's on Xbox. If you have Game Pass and you have Xbox... You played a lawn mowing? Bro, you open... You start off, you, like, open your own, like... Lawn mowing business. ...landscaping company, and, like, you need to do a certain amount of lawns well to, like, get better equipment. Hell yeah.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
And, like, hire people and shit like that. I was in it. Did you have an empire? No, I only played, like, two or three times, and then I deleted it. It was free. Right. But, like... That should be its own game. You don't need to put that in Grand Theft Auto. Sure. But I'm telling you, I'm calling it now. The pervs are out. The pervs are coming out for Grand Theft Auto 6.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I told you. I told you. That's what the mission was called? Like hot coffee? Yeah. And it was basically that like you... Yep. CJ meets a girl and like they go home and have sex. But I don't think it was like you can like, you know, like... Press A to thrust.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Like Parappa the Rapper, like on beat, press circle, circle, circle, circle. Kick, punch, blow. Yeah. I used to fuck with that game. That game was pretty sick. Parappa the Rapper. Oh, my God, dude. That just brought back something. Listen, you know how I feel about video games. Do you remember the game that I had? I loved this game. It was called Fighting Force.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
No, I remember you playing and loving the hell out of Jersey Devil. You know what's funny? I did love that game, and then one day, I don't know why I did this. I started looking up gameplay from all those old PlayStation games. I was about to say Johnny Bravo, but that's not what I meant. Blasto. Blasto. That, Jersey Devil, both of them are trash. Well, I mean, with today's eyes, sure.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Bro, I loved Blasto. I loved Blasto. That was Phil Hartman. Oh, my God. He did the voice of Blasto. There was all those games. Medieval. Bro, they made a remake. Was it good? On the PlayStation. People were like, yo, this is incredible.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
But, like, remember Gex, the gecko? Yes. Croc. Now you got me. Yeah, that shit was good. Now you got me. I just want to look up old PlayStation 1 games. PlayStation games from the early 2000s? Late 90s was probably because PlayStation 1 was from 1995, I want to say. Also, Metal Gear Solid. Let's not even go there.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Siphon Filter, bro. You get a taser, you start tasing people until they, like, set on fire. We're noticing a trend here, Joey. We're noticing a trend. I'm just saying, that's a weird thing to put in the game. Cool borders. Here we go. Cool borders. Wow. Bro, you know what game I went so fucking hard on, dude? You remember SSX Tricky, the snowboarding game? I never had that.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Dude, that game was so fucking good. And then you could fucking like do the worm on your board and shit like that. And then like, you know, do like a fucking triple backflip and Garibaldi. Good times. All the Crash Bandicoots. Well, yeah, those are, I mean, the first, I should say the first three. After Warped, they got, like, bad. Did you ever fuck with Final Fantasy? No, dude. I played one.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
We're basement. The basement. Backstreet's back. Okay. Doesn't hit as well. Can I make one suggestion? And I'm not going to say when it might be, but if you guys come to the show, maybe if this works, you'll see it. This should be good. What if the Walk On and Walk Off song is a song, a popular song, but I sing it?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
People love Final Fantasy. And, like, cool, but, like... I played one because I got it in a cereal box. Bro, cereal? What's good with you? There used to be, like, legit shit in boxes. You mean back when companies were more willing to be open to collaboration with their intellectual property? That's what I'm saying. Bro, cereal boxes?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I used to open up and there used to be five fucking cool, like, lightsaber spoons in there. Now what's in there? Cholesterol? Fuck you, cereal. MLB... What's the one where you can, like, someone hits a double and then you go to second base and you beat the shit out of them and then they're out? Slugfest? That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Where you just fight people?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I love when video games, like, didn't take themselves too seriously. Now, it's like a video game comes out and it's like... Art. And like, we're gonna tackle conversations about mental health. Which, cool. Love that. Honestly, I do. Being able to do that in a medium like video games where a lot of people feel comfortable to express themselves and live in that little world. Love that.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
But also, give me a game where I can run as fucking Jeremy Shockey down the field, stiff arm someone's face, and then they hit a brick wall and go through it. Yeah, touchdown. You know what I mean? Sport games. Madden. Sports simulators. I don't want this shit. Oh, you need to work hard to sign your rookie contract. Fuck you. Put me in the NFL. Put me in the NFL.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Now the NFL games are like, you want to play in college? What do you think I'm here for? If I wanted to, I'd get the college game. You want me to earn it? I bought the game. Put me in the league. Bro, and also, you remember that game that came out? It was called Blitz the League. And it had like Bill Romanowski and Michael Irving on the cover. And it was like, oh no, your guy broke his leg.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
You're out six to eight weeks or take steroids and you're back in the game next play. I was like, steroids, steroids, steroids. But, like, six to eight weeks is too long. If I'm trying to become a star in the FLN, the Football League Nation, I should. Because they can't legally use the NFL. Got it. You just did. We're done. No, no, no, no, no, no. I get it. The game. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
But, like, now video games are just, like, that's why I love you've never played it and you never will. Doom. I played Doom. You played Doom 64. Yeah. Doom Eternal and then Doom the Dark Ages. I haven't played Dark Ages yet. But like, bro, it's just like you're put in a room with a thousand demons and you have a chainsaw fist and a shotgun with a chain. It's just like, yeah!
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Or you go play this game where your tiger was and you need to pick the right fucking iron. Fuck you, Tiger Woods. Sorry. I love Tiger Woods. I have no issue with him. He did some stuff that was a little questionable at points, but like. Cheated on his wife. Cheated his wife. With a thousand people. Yeah. He numbered them, didn't he? What? Wasn't there like. That's a detail that I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
But wasn't it like they were listed in his phone as like number 14, number 12. That's insane if that's true. Also, you could just – they could have been – you got a golf joke right there. Yeah, par 12. Hole three. Oh, there it is. Yeah. Also, par 12? You shooting on the moon? Yeah, what are you shooting? Across the country? Here we go. We do have some sponsors. This is a hard segue.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Give me a really like a walk-off song that or walk-on song that we've used that you like
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
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The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
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The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
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The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
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The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
See website for full details and important safety information. So, yeah, that's HIMSS. Go check it out. And we also have, how you doing, Hungry Roots. Okay, Hungry Roots is a new sponsor, but it's like having your own personal shopper, okay? They take care of the weekly grocery shopping. They recommend healthy groceries tailored to your tastes, your nutrition preferences, and health goals.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
So if you're trying to be like, all right, I just want to do, like, keto or you want to do low-calorie or, you know, things like that, They will go food shopping for you and get you things that fit your needs. They also have diet goals like anti-inflammatory or gut-friendly, gluten-free, dairy-free, high-protein, and more.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
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The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
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The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Use that code basement, folks. Boom. One last thing I want to bring up to you. Yeah. We've been all over, and good luck naming this episode. Yeah. KFC's back. They didn't go anywhere. They didn't. They didn't go anywhere. Aren't they not? They're just KFC, right?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Uh, what did we just walk on to? Well, TV off, which I don't think I'm the right person to do.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
They changed their name? Yeah, there was like that whole thing that came out. It's like it's not Kentucky Fried Chicken. Well, something came out. I don't want to say it because I don't know it. Something came out, and I'm not aware of it. But we talked recently that they were doing the fried chicken toothpaste.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Ant, do me a favor. On the company card, order every flavor of toothpaste on that website.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
tiramisu toothpaste tiramisu we're gonna try it for a patreon episode honestly if that's good i mean maybe hit them up and see if they'll send them so we don't have to pay remember we thought the name of that place was like his his mile or something it's high smile smile yeah um what is kfc they're back they're back so kfc decided that not only was fried chicken toothpaste where they want to discuss you know
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
uh i guess support marketing or a brand or whatever they now have an ice cream flavor fried chicken nope so they're releasing an exclusive ice ice cream flavor in the uk they're gonna die okay and you're gonna fucking die all right uh but it's not fried chicken flavor and any guesses When's the last time you went to a KFC? Oh. I don't hate KFC. Years. I like KFC. I like KFC. I like Popeye's.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Frank, do that. No, no, no. Do a Kendrick Lamar song, Frank.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I don't think I'm going to do that one. Um, I don't know. What do you do like a rendition? Disco Inferno. I could do Disco Inferno. One, two, three. Let's go. Little mama, show me what you're moving. Can you imagine a hearing? Go ahead, get your back in two. Wait. Hearing that would be hilarious. How funny would it be if it's like Ahmed is just like, you know, doing his, getting us ready.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I like Popeye's a little more. Oh, my God. I love Popeye's. I love Popeye's. I haven't been to either in over a year. Oh, that's recent. I thought you were going to say like...
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
eight years um i probably went like three years ago can we do an episode where we just bring in if we just bring in fast food for joey and he eats it at the very beginning and we see what happens to his stomach as the episode goes on because chances chances would be that you would end up pissing your butt at some point during that episode Just like my dog. That's full circle, folks. That's right.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Call back. What do you think the flavor is?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
would be kind of good mac and cheese no hold on like a mashed potatoes but it's like a creamy garlic i mean a ice cream but it's a creamy garlic it sounds disgusting why it sounds good just savory ice cream not sweet ice cream garlic ice cream i kind of wouldn't hate that you would take vanilla ice cream and then put a olive oil on it it's good i think
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
we did that somewhere like one of the desserts we had at a restaurant maybe it's might have had that it's good though yeah i don't i don't hate it wait so what the fuck is this thing is it like corn no no no no popcorn chicken no love the popcorn chicken that would be chicken the flavor that they're releasing the exclusive flavor they're releasing is it is it a menu is it a menu item with their food yeah so it's like one of those things it's something that is like synonymous with like fast food chicken loaded wedges
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Not where I thought you were going. No, no, no. Give me a letter. I'll give it away. Give it a go. G. Green beans. Unbelievable that you can't get this. KFC? Yeah. Green. Green? No. Gers. Gers. Gers. Gers. Gers. Gers.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
gravy gravy yeah oh i'm a fucking idiot yeah we know fucking we know gravy flavor flavored ice cream that's probably fire i love gravy is it it's better than fucking mashed potato flavored i mean well actually them together would be right i was gonna say you would eat gravy flavored ice cream i think so now that i think about remember when people would be like they'd call like semen man gravy
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Disgusting. How did your mind go there? Because you said I love gravy. Yeah. Baby batter. It's a better one. That's way worse, dude. Really? We knew a kid named Batter back in the day. Remember him? Holy shit. His name was Batter. Yeah. We also knew a kid named Seven. Who? We knew a kid named Seven. Oh, someone's like little brother.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
But there was batter. Someone beat the shit out of him. I forget. One of our friends. It wasn't me or you. We were pacifists. We chose love and beating up people only in video games. Yeah, I was too small for that. There was no way. I was whooping ass at Def Jam Fight for New York. I'll tell you that. 50 Cent was laying smack down. Redman was kicking people in the nuts.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
But in real life... Gravy flavored. Would you actually... Here's my question. I would try it. How do you even eat that? Like, you'd have to eat it by itself. What, are you going to put sprinkles on it? No. What, are you going to put chocolate? Ew. Sprinkles. I love sprinkles. I love the little nonparellas. Is that what they're called? What's that? The little circle ones that are crunchy.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Or we do it for Ahmed's song, we don't tell him. Oh my God. He's like, yo, whatever song you've been going out to. Because he walks out to like. I don't even know. You know.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Oh, the chocolate ones. No. The tiny little... The tiny little balls. Oh, like on snow caps, basically? Yes, yes.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Because they get in my teeth. Yeah, and then you're an adult and get them out. Fucking Christ. I don't like them. You like the long, waxy ones? What's that? Like the, the, the, the, the like oval shape. Oh yeah. Like rainbow sprinkles, bro. Nah, those are, those are subpar. Yo, can I say something too? Chocolate sprinkles are like way worse than rainbow sprinkles.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Like rainbow sprinkles are way better. Rainbow sprinkles. Well, chocolate sprinkles, you get sprinkles sugar neat. Sugary. You get sugary, sprinkle sugary, and you get chocolate flavor. With rainbow sprinkles, you just get additional sugar. There's no rainbow flavor.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
It is fun. Chocolate cookie. Crunchies, though. Crunchies? Not cookies. The ones that are in the Carvel cake. You know what I'm talking about? That they layer the Carvel cake with? Those are the best.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yo, why don't we put that shit on top, too, bro? We put it everywhere. That's what I'm saying. There's ice cream places by me that has those as a topping. Dirt? Don't they call it dirt? No, that's like a whole separate thing. Dirt's good, though. Dirt? Well, like the dessert? Dessert. The cup of dirt? Dirt's pretty cool, too, but I'm not going to eat it. I'll be honest with you. Dirt smells good.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I would not eat it. Soil I would eat. What's the difference? That's a great question, too. What are those little white balls that are in soil, dude? I love those. Can you get them and you crunch them with your fingers? I know I'm not supposed to eat soil, but you've got these little white things in there that look like marshmallows.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
He did like Not Like Us a couple times. Yeah. He did a Drake song once or twice. Yeah. But, like, imagine if, like, he's, like, ready to get hype. And then it's just like, ooh, ah, ooh, ah. That's what it was. A song like that.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Why do they make the things that will kill you if you eat them look so delicious? I don't think it'll kill you. I think it's like they hold water. Eat enough soil. Yeah, don't eat the whole earth.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yeah, dude. You can have a handful, though. Bro, eat a cup of soil. You're a goner.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yes. I can put down a cup of soil. You're going to be in a world of trouble. No. Let's have this. Let's have an eating episode. What's wrong with soil? I just think that, like, it's, like, compost, which is, like, molded, not good, biodegraded food. Is it? And, like, I think there's shit in there, too. I can't eat soil. I can't eat soil. I've gotten soil in my mouth for sure.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yeah, sure, you've gotten small amounts, but if you had a cup of soil... I could eat that. I'm not dying. Joey, you could eat it. You would be in pain. I don't think so. As long as there's no, like, big sticks in it. If... Ooh, what if we mix it with ice cream? Soil ice cream. I mean... I would eat that. I guess. I love soil, dude. What's your ultimate ice cream order?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
You're going to make fun of me. Traditionally, I've said this.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
You said it's Breyers Natural. You know what? Do you have no toppings? I've experimented a little bit. If you had to get your dream ice cream, it's no toppings? I've experimented a little bit. Here's where I've gone. You ready? There's an ice cream spot by me that makes the dumbest cherry vanilla I've ever had in my entire life. It has giant ass pieces of cherry in it. Ugh. So good.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
In a cup. I mean, I'll do cone too if we're getting nasty. Wait, what kind of cone though? The sugar cone. I like sugar cones. The waffle cones? Fuck you. Who likes those? I only like waffle cones if they're going to stick it in the side of my cup. Huh? You know how, like, you get a cup and they put, like, a little piece of waffle? Oh, where it, like, lines the cup with a... Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yeah, dude. Love your girl, little mama so fly. Love your girl, radio killer. Yeah, you remember?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
No, but those are crunchy. Like, I'm talking the waffle cones that, like, once the ice cream melts a little, they get, like, soft and chewy. You know which ones I'm looking like? The ones that look like it's, like, a... Sugar cones are the best. I love sugar cones. Sugar cones are so good. The ones that they, like, dip in chocolate and, like, sprinkles? I've never had any of that, you whore.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I get... Fuck it, I'm into it. So, wait, no sauce? Caramel, maybe. I'm not like hot fudge. I'm okay on hot fudge. You're sacrificing the integrity of your ice cream. You're literally adding heat to it. I'll tell you what I fucking hate. Oh, I'm going to love this. The people that dip it in that magic shell, like the red magic shell, and it comes out and it gets hard. The cherry dip?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I used to order that. Fuck you, bro. There was a summer when I was like 11. I was like, yo, give me the cherry dip.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
This would be great. We should get him every single show. Just do a different song. We should do it. But, like, what song? Like, what would be a good song? Some whack-ass, like. It could be, like. Not hype song. The chicken dance. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na. That's a good one. Or... Like an actual song that he would pick. Sarah McLachlan.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I just like that it chipped, and it added this crunchy element. Oh, but that's why I get those little balls. I know. Ooh, you ever do a double? You know you get ice cream and it's like two of them? Oh, no, I'm not double. What am I doing? This is like some probably Illuminati shit. It looks like it's a weird looking one because I know what you're talking about.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
It has like the two spots and it's just like a pitchfork. Bro, and I would go to this guy, I'd be like, bro. If I had enough money for it, I'd be like, just give me two vanilla with rainbow sprinkles.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I also hated the people that got, like, the cherry dip and stuff because they were always, like, $2.50 compared to the $1 ice cream cone. And I was just like, you rich bastard. Yeah, like, take it easy.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yo, also, if you had money for the ice cream truck and you got, like— A snow cone or some shit? I should slap you, dude. Don't you dare speak disrespectfully. My nephew got a snow cone. I was like, bro. Dude, don't you dare speak disrespectfully of snow cones. Whack. Frankie. Whack. My nephew's birthday was recently. And my brother got like a Mr. Softee to pull up and like whatever.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
No. The cookies and the ice cream? The only acceptable form of an ice cream sandwich is the one that has the chocolate on the butt and the top. The long one that has the buttons in it. You know what I'm talking about. I have those in my freezer as we speak. And I know how Joe used to eat them. I know exactly how Joe used to eat them. He used to lick around the side like a freak, dude.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
He would hold this thing and he would... And this dude was a whore. Hey, he still is. He still is a whore. Because I'm on my fucking couch just like... Oh, God. You're just licking the pussy at his ice cream sandwich. I really am, honestly. That's crazy. Good for you. It really is the way to eat it, though. But then I don't go.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
The way to eat it is I'm. No, it's boring. This shit is over within like two seconds. It's great. So you lick, you suck all the cream out of that thing.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I leave some and then I start biting. This is getting crazy now.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
There's parts of the internet that are watching that are just like, keep going, Joe. Keep fighting. Yeah, but then I mean, you just eat it. That's like, you know. You know my ice cream truck orders. Priority, Tweety Bird, Ninja Turtle, or Bugs Bunny. Have you ever gotten a banana split from one? No. Who do you think I was? Warren Buffett? Come on. Those were like five bucks back in the day.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Remember? Yo, milkshakes. I used to get milkshakes and then I would be hurting for like a year. I spilled a milkshake in my dad's brand new truck and he never found out. Where did you spill it? Under the seat. The front seat? Back seat. Never found out. Really? Yeah. And he won't now because he doesn't watch the show and we're an hour and ten in, baby. He ain't watching now.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
We could be ten in. He ain't watching that. So it don't matter. But wow, that's fucked up. You didn't even pay for it.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
uh those i remember those were like four bucks and everything else was like a dollar and then one day this dude pulled up and milkshakes were like eight bucks i was like what do you think this is we can track the trajectory of our nation and its greatness by what has happened to ice cream prices yeah when ice cream trucks would pull up and they were at the most expensive thing on there two dollars and you knew that the drivers were slinging bricks of coke out of them oh
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
In the arms of me. But he'd come off and he'd get pissed off. He'd be like... 100%. It's tough. It's fucked up. Your set starts at 10 minutes. I needed like an actual song that he would walk onto. And then you would redo it? Yeah. It'd be a toughie. I think it'd be really funny though. It'd be funny. Not as funny as me getting...
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
What do you think he's going to pick? Margarita. Yeah. It comes in a shaker now. Those are great. That's cool. You noticed that the last time I went out. I did. I was there with you. Bump. That's all I got.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Anyway, guys, thank you so much for watching all the way through. We're going to reiterate, again, go to TheBasementYard.com. Get yourself some tickets to the live shows. It's going to be a lot of fun. We're very excited to get out there on the road. And it's always a party. It's always a great time at the show. So come through.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
And if you already have your tickets, we appreciate you, and we'll see you out there. And also go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit. Be a part of the show. All right? Fill it out. Let us know. And, yeah, we'll see you. Frank, where are you going to be? they'll find me at the basement yard shows. They'll find them at the basement yard shows. That's where we're going to be. You understand?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Anyway, that's all for this week's episode. What is this show? I don't know what the title is. Yeah, I don't know. We're going to title this. All right. Let's, let's, let's do it here. Let's flip all these. Now we'll spit. We'll title this, uh, uh, Bon Voyage porn. With a question mark? Can't do porn. You can't write porn in a title.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Bad for the SEO. How about bye-bye-bye to sex? I don't know. Yeah. And it could be us as the marionette. What else did we talk about? What was the beginning of this? Your dog once again crapping its pants.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Is that clickbait? I don't think people care about that. It's like the heaviest mug in the world. It's like, cool. And the title, it should be like, what's going to happen next? And it's our face. We'll put Mr. Beast in the corner.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
With his dead eyes. Go check it out. We love you guys.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
A front row seat to the greatest interaction I've ever seen in my life. I was so proud of my dog this morning. Oh. Frank. One of the greatest. Charlie did good.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Yeah, dude. This is great. There's a bootleg-ass Neo, though. Neo's stuck around because. Fedoras. They keep them in. I think the Dream War of Fedora. Remember when it was like a huge deal that like, yo, Neo took the fedora off. He's bald. I don't remember that. You don't know that? I remember. See, this is something that I'm glad you brought up. Neo being bald? The fedoras. Oh, I'm not. You are.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
He did good boy. Listen to the morning that my dog had. My dog goes outside. Yep. Any of this involve bodily fluids. Frank. Of course. Oh. Of course it does.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Here's what this dog does, right? I take my dog out for a walk this morning. There's a little white dog like around him and they're sniffing and blah, blah, blah. They're sniffing the same tree. I hate little dogs. My dog lifts his leg.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
and is peeing and then the white dog gets in the stream gets pissed on my dog has pee that's like radioactive it's yellow as yellow as hell and like then it's a clear streak and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry and she goes it's okay whatever the owner then he walks over gets in a pooping position farts like a fat man and then diarrhea comes out the color of a timberland boot and
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
It was insane, dude. Just gets down, pisses on a dog, walks over, farts, and then water fountain of shit. It was nuts. It was crazy.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
That's the whole morning. Dude. Dude had a blowout. You've been there. You're a dad. With humans. Of humans. That's what I'm saying.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Before we started recording, Joey goes... Before you ask, by the way, I put the bag on my hand and I walked over and I went to the air. I was like...
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
That's a great question. What do you do if your dog like spray shits? That's just a part of the earth now. Like what am I going to get? A fucking turkey baster and pick it up? Oh God. Fuck. I can't do that. I just walk away. That's disgusting. I go over and I make it seem like I'm picking something up. So I'm like. I mean, at least, yeah, at least show the effort.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I mean, you know, the mens rea there is the idea that, like, you're trying. Like, you didn't have the wrongful mind. I get it. I hear what you're saying. I didn't want anyone who's looking at me from, like, a balcony or something being like, this guy didn't even make it.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Now you're, you know, our show is popular. People know you anytime you go out. What if someone sees, like, oh, my God, Joe Sinigata. He didn't pick up his dog shit. Yeah, I gotta get over there. He didn't pick up... Bro, you'd be done for. Yeah. Then you'd be known as Joe Santagato, podcaster, male model, slash not picker-upper of shitter. I also complain about that a lot for other people.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Like, I don't like... Yeah, you can't be part of the problem. No, I can't. But, I mean, if it's... I'm pretty sure... I can't do anything about that. Gandhi said, be the change you want to see in the world. He was specifically... I thought that was Will Smith. ...mentioning... People that don't pick up their dog shit. I mean, he probably wasn't not.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I mean, it's a very universal, it's a blanket statement. It could mean anything. So it could be about, you know, philanthropic work. It could be about, you know, just being kind human beings, loving, passionate, compassionate, empathetic. And then your dog absolutely just painting the fucking sidewalk brown. It was a grass patch, but he also painted that dog with radioactive yellow piss.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
It was crazy. How does that owner let that dog get there? Like, was he on or off the leash? Bro, if I saw a dog pissing, my dog's going there. I'm pulling the reins. Well, they were both just, like, interacting. And, like, I take them off the leash. And, like, usually people around there do because it's, like, off the street.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
So it's, like, they would have to just take off in order to get to the street. So they let dogs interact and stuff like that. Bro, that dog takes off. It's gone. Your dog. My dog? Yeah, no. He's not going anywhere, though. He's got too much anxiety. Yeah. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
My sensitive stomach. I can't run too much. Well, yeah. I mean. It's sensitive, all right.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Here's the thing. Anytime you bring up this dog on this show. His stomach is a Pisces. Just like me. Sensitive. Yo. Thank you for laughing. We've said some dumb things on this show. That's by far my least favorite thing you've ever said. The horoscope? Yeah. What's the difference between a horoscope and a zodiac? I think the horoscope is like the messaging that goes along with the zodiac sign.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I thought there were different signs. Well, no. I think the zodiac is the sign. And then the horoscope is just like, today a Pisces is going to show their real power. And it's like, okay. You're going to meet someone and you just got to be open to receiving what you are meant to receive. Because otherwise you won't. Look, if you're into it, I support you. Do your thing. But just like...
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I'm not talking. We're gonna. Fedoras were like a thing at one point. And then, no, no, no, not just me. Do you? They were across the globe a thing. Like, people were wearing fedoras like... With old Cuban men in Miami. No, Jason Mraz was doing it. Oh, and yeah, them. Like, Ashley Tisdale, you know? Like, Ashley Tisdale. And then, like, also, like, Lumineers. People who dress like Lumineers. Yes.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
If and I'm pretty sure we've brought this up before but like if you meet someone new and they don't ask their sign within If you're listen, I'm gonna give you guys here we go dating advice with Frank. Here we go. Okay Take it from me. I Don't know how I secured my wife. I didn't secure her. She's not my possession Maybe she is I don't know I Don't write the law Maybe she is. I have no idea.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
But... If you're... If you are into horoscopes... Yeah. You don't bring it up until... Third date. Third date. If I'm on a... Bro, if I'm on a first date with someone... And they want to know your horoscope. And they're like immediately like, what are you? I'm like... Hispanic? Yeah. Like, what? Either way you're asking, I don't like here. But, like, if they're just like, you're Leo, ugh.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Like, whatever, there's no, like, I just, at a first impression, I think, like, it's a little intense. Is Becca into horoscopes? I feel like she would be. Um, not really. I mean, like, I think, like, super passively.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Like, if she read something and she's like, oh, that's interesting, but, like, she's not going to, like, on a daily occurrence read it. I'll be honest with you about this, right? When it comes to horoscopes or whatever the fuck, I'm like, this is obviously a crock of shit. But then, when they fit? When they fit to like, ooh, Pisces, they're creative. I'm like, okay, that's vague.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
And they're very sensitive. And I'm like, what the hell?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
The reason I hate it is because and I don't hate it. I don't want to say that it's a bit strong The reason I really really really just like it. Yeah is I remember any time I've met someone that's into it and they find out I'm a Leo It's a giant reaction from them. They're just like oh
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
oh yeah oh yeah yeah i'm just like take it back with the oh yeah now you know you just hit him with that roar bro did someone ask you to just roar their face do you remember yeah right do you remember this was like 2015 which is 10 years ago isn't that crazy oh my god yeah it's a decade isn't that crazy isn't that bananas bro 2020 was five years ago That's insane.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
So do you remember when we went out to McCann's and I just like struck up a conversation with a girl at the bar and she was like, Reading my energy. Do you remember that? Wait, was this like an old woman? No, she was a younger woman. Oh. But like, then she was like, I'm going to read you my poetry. Now I remember. Do you remember that?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Bro, we were sitting and like, it was not like a conversation like, oh, let me go get this girl at the bar. That was, you know, that me, that was never my like approach. Right. But she was like, at one point in conversation, she was like, um, Do you mind? I'm like, mind what? She's like, just like, do you mind just putting your hand out like this? And I was like, like that? She's like, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
I was like, okay. And she goes, I was like, what was that? She's like, I'm reading your energy. And then I fully bought in. I was just like, did you feel it? You know, just like I started something.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Exactly. Like, the band Fun. And then you. I'm just saying, like, people look back on it and now fedoras have come to a place where they are a joke. Where it's like, m'lady, you know, like, you know, hmm. You know, like a Redditor. I think if I'm looking at a fedora, I don't think they're that bad. I think it's like when it's the accessory to the rest of the outfit, it's like, what are we doing?
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
Frank Frank was back. Yeah. I mean, an opportunity like that presents itself. And then I have like, I don't think I have it, but like I had. the conversation, like in our group chat, I told you guys about like what she said, what she was saying. And she was like, do you mind if I read you my poetry? And she was a pretty intense first meeting, bro. But like, that's what I'm saying.
The Basement Yard
#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
If you're into it, good for you. I support you. It's your thing. Have it. To yourself. Yeah. Wait until a couple dates in to introduce it. Dude, do you remember? This is all so funny because this happened at bars that we would go to when we were underage. McCann's, by the way, which was- RIP. It's gone. But also, the last place you would expect someone to read your energy.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Oh God. I gotta be honest with you. The moment we like as a society, because everything, whatever is old becomes new again. I mean, look at what happened with like vinyls. Vinyls came back in a big way. Baggy pants. When flip phones start coming back into the stratosphere, I am going to fucking just emotionally charged hang up on people all the time. Even in the middle of like a kind...
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ein wunderschöner Gespräch. Sie sagen jemandem, der was zu tun hat.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Oh mein Gott. Ich brauche einen Payphone, damit ich einen ausfüllen kann und den Fucken ausfüllen kann. Wir haben schon darüber gesprochen, dass wir in einen neuen Studio in Transition sind. Sollten wir einen Payphone bekommen? Du hast mir gesagt, naja, sicher. Aber du hast mir auch gesagt, dass ein Relikt von letzten Episoden zurückkommen könnte. Vielleicht. People might be excited about that.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
That thing is gonna get beaten into oblivion if it does. Tell someone who gives a fuck translates to perhaps you should check in with whoever. Whoever the fuck cares. Then ask me if I give a fuck. Which translates to of course I'm concerned.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Wait, ask me if I give a fuck. Ask me if I give a fuck. But that doesn't line up.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Of course I'm concerned is like confirming that you're upset about something. Or ask me if I give a fuck. You're basically saying, I don't care. That doesn't make sense. When did the Air Force become no fun?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Das Lied sagt einfach nur, nimm die Scheiße. Oh. Nimm die Scheiße wird zu, du sagst nicht. Das ist nicht, das ist nicht, was diese zwei Dinge bedeuten, Herr Air Force. Nächster Satz. Nimm die Scheiße und sterbe. Du sagst nicht, bitte tötet euch. Es sagt einfach nur, Entschuldigung. Dann sagt es, nimm die Scheiße und sterbe, Motherfucker.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Schub es dir auf den Arsch. Dieser Job ist schrecklich. Es gibt keinen Grund, dass das wahr ist. Es gibt absolut keinen Grund.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Schnauze dich selbst. Weißt du, wie schlecht ich wünsche, Another fucking meeting Another fucking meeting What would you do if you were a professional in the workplace and you got a memo with all this stuff on it? Printed out, immediately sent to the group chat.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Dude, one of my favorite moments when I worked in college was we had to do, I think I've told this story before, but just in case I'm going to tell it again.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
We had to do like conduct hearings where like if people were in like an argument or something or like someone got, you know, like written up for violating something, depending on the severity of whatever it was, we had to hand out the punishment. There was one where it was like a full hearing and someone had to read the text messages and the person had printed and framed the text message.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Wow, that's fire. And like, this serious room of someone having to read this to a room of people. This is not right. Have you ever called someone a cunt? I'm sure I have. Why are you sure of that? I mean, I'm sure I have. You're a cunt. You've done that? Maybe not to their face. Maybe just like, oh, that person's a cunt. But it feels bad. Cunt is so sharp.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
You could cut right through a conversation. It really can.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
It feels like... In 30 Jahren werden wir uns daran erinnern und sagen, wir haben das gesagt. Weißt du, was ich meine? Es ist wie wenn du eine Waffe in die Luft schießt. Du denkst nicht wirklich darüber nach, aber es muss runterkommen.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Yeah, I quite... Do people die like that all the time? There have been instances. Mythbusters covered that in an episode where like someone just like randomly shot in the air because it goes up and then it comes down. Hard. Just as fast. Also, is it true if I throw a coin off the Empire State Building, like I'm gonna kill a motherfucker? No, but... Das ist ziemlich cool.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich habe gehört, wenn jemand eine Karte schießt, wird es durch deine Hand gehen. Ich habe gehört, es wird durch den Topf deines Herzens gehen und dich in die Hand drehen. Ja, ja, ja, ja. Ich dachte, verdammt. Das wäre ziemlich cool. Ich meine, nicht sterben, offensichtlich.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Nicht die sterbende Partie davon. Richtig. Aber, ich meine, wie hat niemand nur einen Bucket von Karten auf dem Topf der Empire State Building geschossen? Es ist schockierend, dass niemand das gemacht hat. Ich sage es. Wir haben Leute, die in der Mitte der Stadt geschossen werden. Ja. Karten auf dem Topf der Empire State Building. Das scheint ein No-Brainer.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I mean to throw a coin. I'm sure they have cameras up there. I don't want to speculate.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Don't throw coins. I'm sure there's a ton of cameras up there that people would see it immediately. I think there's not a lot of change left in the city. You know what I mean? No one has coins. I'm okay with that, dude.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I fucking hate coins. Coins are weird. I don't even like cash. I do like multiple coins. Du magst schäkende Coins? Ich mag schäkende Coins. Okay. Aber sobald es nur eine oder zwei Coins gibt... Was ist dein Lieblingscoin? Halbe Dollar. Das ist eine coole Coin. Das ist eine tolle. Ich habe noch eine von den 60ern. Gold-Dollar. Die Dollar-Coins?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020 Hm. Ja. Don't worry, it's real funny.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
War das Harriet Tubman auf dieser? Ich glaube, es war... Ich würde sagen Sigourney Weaver, aber das ist nicht wahr. Es ist nicht Sigourney Weaver. Sigourney Truth, glaube ich. Ich bin mir ziemlich sicher, dass es Harriet Tubman ist. Das könnte es sein. Wir sollten es kurz machen. Oder wer war der andere? Ich denke, es ist Tubman. Nein, nein, nein. Ich denke, es war jemand anderes.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich denke, es war jemand anderes. Und es wird mich beeinflussen. Es wird mich beeinflussen. Golden Dollar Coin. Nein, der halbe Dollar ist wie einer der fucking Präsidenten. Es war RFK. Sacagawea. Ich wusste es. Was? Ja, Alter. Der vordere Seite des Golden Dollar Coins wurde von Sculptor designiert. Wait, so Tubbs is on something. I don't think Tubbs is on anything. What?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Dude, an original from year 2000. I remember this. Like pre-owned on eBay. It's going for like 1600 bucks. Wow. I mean, there's also other ones going for like $9. Someone is getting really crazy with that. Yeah, no, I knew it wasn't Harriet Tubman. Wow, I thought it was Harriet Tubman. Sacagawea. Du erinnerst dich, was sie gemacht hat, oder? Sie machte Sachen, sicher. Und du erinnerst dich? Nein.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Du erinnerst dich nicht? Sie war wie der Guide für Lewis und Clark. Ah! Ja. Ja. Sie waren einfach so, was ist das? Und sie war so, es ist ein Rock. Und sie waren so, ich habe es, Sacka. Danke, Sacka. Danke, Sacka. Ja, ich meine, was für eine interessante Sache. Erinnere dich an die ersten Menschen, die den Pazifischen Ozean gesehen haben. Same as the Atlantic. I would say half dollar, quarter.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Quarters are cool, bro. I fuck with dimes. I really fuck with dimes. Really? Yeah, I fuck with dimes. I don't care for dimes.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
We can agree, the worst is a nickel. The wackest. The wackest and it's overly fat, dude. And what is that thing? Pennies I like because they're cool. But they make, they're like. Have you heard the conspiracy about pennies? No, what?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Where it's like they're the only one that's not silver because like they were mad at Abraham Lincoln for freeing the slaves and that's why he's facing another direction and shit like that. I don't know how true it is. I don't know how true it is, but it's possible. No, pennies are just like... I don't know. Whenever you have pennies, it's like they're stepped on, they're all fucked up.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Yeah, a penny to me is basically just like a pigeon. You know what I mean? Like, they're useless. They're rats. But, I will say... Rats. Ich würde sagen, eine frische Pfanne ist da oben, weil sie so glänzend ist. Nicht nur sind sie glänzend, sondern sie sind einfach so... Das ist nicht wirklich... Woher kommt das her?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Hast du dir das vorgestellt? Ja, woher bekommen wir das? Wer setzt frische Pfannen da raus und sagt, geh, nimm Pfannen. Ja. Das macht keinen Sinn. Die Federal Reserve, glaube ich. Ich weiß, ich weiß, aber es macht keinen Sinn, oder? Dass sie es einfach printen können? Sie können einfach Pfannen bekommen. Wie viele Pfannen gibt es in der Welt, die nicht genutzt werden?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Like on the ground in a ditch. Did you think I was gonna have an answer to that? In the United States. I would say a whole bunch. Okay, give me a dollar amount. Not even just pennies. Okay. Just loose change out there. Lose change? Oh, all lose change.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Bro, lots. But how much, and I'm not saying within a person's like, they have it in like a water jug like your family did.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
We? You wanna... Okay, Joey. Do you want to ask the question? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
You guys are watching it in real time. You guys are watching this in real time. You're seeing how the sausage is made. Hello, here's our sausage. Here's our sausage. You want to see some sausage? Look over at Joe's camera. That's enough. Here's the sausage. Cut to Joe. Okay. Hey Joey, I have a question. You're not going to start it like that. Just ask me, how much... No, seriously.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
How much loose change do you think there is in the United States? That's not like in a piggy bank or like a... Just on the ground. Yeah, just on the ground in the United States. Like maybe close to a million dollars. Get the fuck out of here.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
A million dollars? People are walking around on the earth. I'm saying no, brother. No way.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Max, dude. Frank. Max. There's a hundred thousand. I can find a hundred thousand dollars in coins in Central Park. No, no, no, no. No way, dude. A million dollars. Do you know how many coins you need? That's a lot. Frank, the country is vast. It's big. Forget about like... What about dollars? What about dollars? I was gonna say, just the gold coins. What gold coins? The gold dollars.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
What about those? If we're just doing those, there needs to be a million. Oh, yeah. That's too much, brother. I know, but Frank, coins. Pennies, there needs to be a hundred times a million. Frank, but coins are never alone. Yes, they are. That's literally what they are known for, being just alone. No one gives one cent back. Maybe a quarter might be a loan, because that's a lot of money.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Give a penny, take a penny. No one does that. But also, why would you do that if you just need a penny? I don't get it. And you have a penny. Nothing happens with that exchange. I definitely think there's hundreds of thousands of dollars. I say $100,000, max $200,000. Denk an die Anzahl von... Vergesst einfach die Dollar-Anzahl. Denk an die Anzahl von Coins. that need to be around.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
A hundred pennies in a dollar. Yeah. Times a million, brother. Right. A hundred million pennies just in the ground? Sure. No way. Frank. No way. And we're not talking like pennies from like 1901 that are like more valuable because they use this alloy.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
No way. People are out there with metal detectors finding pennies and dimes and quarters all the time. At the beach. How much money do you think is in the fucking ocean? Whoa, dude. I didn't even think the beach.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I didn't think the beach. There's probably tons of money at the beach. The beach and like just like other stuff too. Alright. United States. Continental United States. So not Hawaii. If you give me Hawaii. But from grass to grass. Fuck the ocean and the beach. Okay, okay. I think $200,000 max. I think there's more. What do they got up in Alaska? They got bear meat, wolverines and bones.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I was just saying, like, it was funny because he was just like, no, we were actually in love. So like, maybe the reason I was so excited to go to my fourth grade teacher's wedding is because I thought like, maybe I'll... Oh, du dachtest, dass ich ihre eigene Geburt stoppe.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
They don't have any change up there lying around. They're a society, Frank. I know they are, but most of them aren't. That's what I'm saying. Most of Alaska is not. It's just bears, dude. Bears and snow. Probs. Wie viel Geld glaubst du, ist im Ozean? Und ich meine nicht nur... Ich meine nicht nur Geld und Tender. Ich meine... Tender? Geld und Tender.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich meine... Jemand hat einen Rolex in den Ozean gedroht. Bro, es gibt wahrscheinlich so viel davon. Wirklich? Ja. Wahnsinnig, oder? Guck dir das an. Guck dir das an, wie viel Geld oder wie viele Dinge hinter den Klubs geblieben sind. Oh Gott. Erinnerst du dich daran? Es gab ein Nachtclub in unserem Gebäude, als ich alt war, namens Remy. Ja.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Manche Menschen erinnern sich daran, manche wahrscheinlich nicht. Die meisten Menschen nicht. 99,5% nicht. Geh' weiter. Es gab ein Nachtclub in Astoria namens Remy. Und ich erinnere mich immer, als ich auf der 45. Straße ging, Richtung 23er Straße von Dittmars, und in die Fenster zu schauen und zu sehen, wie viele krustige Dollarbillen hinter den Benzen fallen, die einfach in die Fenster liegen.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Und ich habe mir immer gedacht, es muss etwa 30 Dollar drin sein. Was damals eine Woche lang Spaß haben haben könnte. Jetzt ist das kein verdammtes Ding. Aber hast du das jemals gesehen? Nein, ich weiß nicht, worüber du sprichst, aber ich schätze, dass das immer passiert. Es gibt Geld und Scheiß hinter sich.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich wünschte wirklich, dass jemand mich aufhören würde und gesagt hätte, ich habe eine Menge Treue gebügt. Ich will wirklich Treue finden. Frank. Keiner wird dich aufhören. Glaubst du, Treue existiert? Natürlich. Und ich spreche nicht von... Wir sprechen hier von Davy Jones' Locker. Treue.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich dachte, das wäre die tiefe blaue See. Nein, Davy Jones Locker, ich glaube, es war nur ein Ort. Ich dachte, es war wie ein Ausdruck von, du wirst im Ozean sterben. Na, das ist wahrscheinlich von dort, wo du es hattest, von Spongebob. Aber Davy Jones Locker ist... Hab ich dir gesagt, als ich an Fire Island war, dass ein Mann... Was? Du hast recht. Richtig? Es ist ein Ausdruck.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich musste die Türen öffnen. Ich würde nur meine Hand wie ein Student öffnen. Oh, ja. Ich fühle mich, als ob du... Machen sie das bei Geburtstagen noch?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Es ist ein Ausdruck, der zu dem Boden des Sees geht, der als die Grave derjenigen ist, die am Meer sterben. Davy Jones Locker. Ich dachte, es wäre ein Ort für Geister. Technisch.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Nein, das ist nicht so, wie es funktioniert, Bruder. Ich mag Freddy. Worauf bist du aufgeregt? Ich weiß nicht, ob ich dir das gesagt habe, aber als ich auf der Feuer-Insel war, waren wir so weit weg, weil es keine Autos auf der Insel gab. Und ich war so, Bro, ich bin einfach so, was auch immer. Und dieser Junge fährt auf einem Golfkart.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Und ich habe nur gejagt und er hat gesagt, oh, du wirst uns alle eine Reise geben. Und er schlägt auf die Bremsen und er ist so, ja, fang an. Und ich war so, wirklich? Und er ist so, ja. Also fangen wir an. Das ist das Beste. Ich liebe Interaktionen wie diese.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ungefährlich, ja. Weißt du, wenn der Junge auf dem Treppen fährt und da ist dieser Junge, der nicht wohnen will? Ja. Vaguely, yeah. He was like that.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Und ich habe gesagt, was meinst du? Und er hat gesagt, es ist da. Das ist, wo es ist. Und ich bin so, was hast du denn gesagt? Hast du jemals Fakten geschaut, wo es ist? Hab ich Fakten geschaut? Ich dachte, der Kerl war ein Geist, Frank. Ich dachte nicht, er war echt. Ehrlich gesagt, du hättest vielleicht darüber gesprochen. Wahrscheinlich. Ich dachte, es war ein alter Fischermann-Geist.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Es sagt einfach nur, dass es am Boden der See ist. Ich meine, technisch gesagt, war er nicht falsch. Ja, ich glaube, ich glaube. Technisch gesagt, er ist so, wenn du unter dieser Insel gehst, die wir sind. Er hat es буквal zu einem bestimmten Haus gedrückt. Er hat gesagt, unter dieser Insel. Du gehst runter, das ist Davy Jones' Locker. Und ich war so, das ist ein bisschen krass, aber.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Kann man unter einer Insel gehen? Do the ads first. Oh my god, yeah, we do have ads to get to here. That's gonna ruin me for like a year. Okay, we do have ads. The first one being Rocket Money. Rocket Money is going to put the money back in your pocket by finding and cancelling unwanted subscriptions, okay? We've all done it, alright?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
You sign up for a free trial or you're buying something, you're using the service for a couple of months and then you don't use it and then a year goes by and you're like, I probably should have cancelled that a long time ago. Up to $740 a year when they're using all of the apps features. Das ist viel. Okay? Würdest du lieber $740 in deinem Bag in deinem Pocket haben?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich weiß, dass ich das würde. Okay? Also, auch wenn du denkst, dass du sehr finanziell verantwortlich bist, denke ich, dass das ein guter Tool ist, um sicherzustellen, dass du nichts spart, was du dein Geld nicht spart, was du nicht spart. Also, kanceliere deine Subscriptions und erreiche deine finanziellen Ziele schneller mit Rocket Money. Gehe zu rocketmoney.com slash basement heute. Okay?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Das ist rocketmoney.com slash basement. Geh das Geld zurück in deine Pockets.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Okay, and we also have SeatGeek, SeatGeek is where I get all my tickets, okay, the NFL, MLB, NHL seasons are in full swing, I just went to an NHL game, alright, it was lovely, bought the tickets with SeatGeek, okay, that's what I do, I love SeatGeek, I've been using them for years, I like their interface, I like that they tell you if it's a good price for the ticket or a bad price for the ticket, depending on which color it is.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
In der Vergangenheit, wenn wir das gemacht haben, war es so, dass man nur, wenn man das erste Mal benutzt hat, Geld auszahlen kann. Jetzt mit SeatGeek, wer eine SeatGeek App hat, kann 15% aus deiner nächsten Anlage sparen. All you have to do is use the code JOE15 at checkout.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Und weißt du was? Wenn du nicht in den Mitte des Dezember ein Fußballspiel gehen möchtest, dann geh doch zu patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Leute, wie wir schon gesagt haben, sind wir auf Patreon und in einigen Episoden hier in Transition zu einem neuen Studio. Und eine große Grund, warum wir das tun können, ist, weil die Liebe und Unterstützung, die ihr uns auf Patreon geboten habt.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich muss ehrlich sein, ich habe die Weddings, die ich in den letzten Jahren gemacht habe, nicht gehört. Ich auch nicht. Aber ich wundere mich, und ich bin sicher, dass jemand in den Kommentaren uns diese Geschichte erzählen wird. Ich wundere mich, ob die Leute tatsächlich abgeklagt haben und nicht für einen dummen Grund. You know, like, I object. I love, you know, like a joke. Like, you got it.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Also, vielen Dank, Leute. Es ist wirklich, wirklich monumentell, dass ihr uns die Möglichkeit gegeben habt, euch zu lachen und zu lachen und all diese lustige Dinge zu machen. Und jetzt, mit dem neuen Studio, bekommen wir die Möglichkeit, das zu tun und euch mehr von dem zu geben, was ihr liebt, was wir, glaube ich, vielleicht, möglicherweise sind.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Also, geht auf patreon.com slash TheBasementYard, wenn ihr noch nicht eingeladen habt und für das erste Tier eingeladen habt und ihr habt diese wöchentlichen Episoden eine Woche vor. Und dann das zweite Tier, ihr habt exklusive Episoden jeden Freitag. Alles klar?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Es ist ein guter Zeitpunkt, wenn ihr nach dem letzten Minute-Gift sucht, um TheBasementYard oder Santagato Studios' Lieber in eurer Leben zu geben. Gebt ihnen ein Geschenk an Patreon. Das ist ein süßes Geschenk. Also macht es. Patreon.com. Danke euch so viel für all die Liebe. Weiteres Wachstum. Wir freuen uns. Und wir sind gespannt. Tschüss. Warum bin ich Tschüss? Ich weiß es nicht. Aber. Also.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Hört mich an. Das ist ein großer Wasser-Themed-Episode. Es ist. Okay. Was ich nicht hasse. Aber ich mag es nicht. Richtig. Die Ozean f***t mich an. Ja. Kannst du unter einer Insel gehen? Wie schwimmen unter einer Insel? Wie schwimmen unter. Wie. Vielleicht nicht Hawaii, weil ich weiß, dass das alle Volkanen und Scheiße sind. Aber denken wir an eine Insel im Mittelpunkt des Ozeans. Bora Bora. Klar.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Richtig? Ja. Okay. Ist es wie eine fliegende Insel? Siehst du? Oder kannst du unten hin? Ich werde ehrlich mit dir sein. Ja. Warum sollten wir das tun? Das wäre cool. Okay, zwei Dinge. Ich meine, nicht ich. Ich hasse Unterwasser. Ich wollte sagen, zwei Dinge. Ich habe nie versucht. Nein, ja, okay. Aber...
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
The mantle, that's it, that's it. I think it's just volcanoes, that's what Hawaii is, it's volcanoes.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Long Island is not a volcano. Isn't it? No. I mean, there are parts of it that certainly... suck. Like volcanoes do. But I don't think... I think some of them are just like they broke off. Or like there was space in between and then it just got flooded because of the rising tides.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Long Island, I guess, if you consider that. It's connected to the gods. Yeah, I mean... Nein, nein, nein. Technisch ja, aber nicht für den Zweck dieses Arguments.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Mykonos, that's a crazy... You've been to the two gayest islands. You've been to Mykonos and Fire Island. Those are very well-known gay attractions.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich habe es dir gesagt, als wir mit Pete verabredet waren. Die Jungs lieben Pete. Das war toll. Ich dachte, Pete... Sie sind die Kinder und er ist der Candy Store.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Er nimmt sein Shirt an und ich denke, du weißt, was du tust. Er liebt es. Er mag es, wenn er es liebt. Er liebt es, wenn er es liebt. Aber... Scheiße. Oh, ich bin in Azores gegangen. In Portugal. Ja, in Portugal. Es ist so ein seltsames Gefühl.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Like a legit, like, no. Like, I don't think this should go through. I mean, see, I don't want this to happen at a wedding that I'd actually be at. I do. Aber ich will nicht, dass das jemandem passiert, den ich kenne.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Es ist wirklich seltsam. Wirklich? Ich kann es nicht, weil ich nichts, aber Wasser sehe und es mich verdammt. Oh, ja, ja. Also, wie du weißt, diese Reisen, die du gemacht hast, wie und ich weiß, als du zu dir gingst, wie du deine Reisen zu und von Europa gebucht hast, basierend auf Red Eye-Flights. Das ist der einzige Weg, wie ich es machen würde, weil ich so furchtbar wäre, wenn ich sehen würde,
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Nothing. Dude, I saw something recently, where it was just like, this spot on the planet, you're closer to astronauts than you are to any human on the planet. And I was like, that's crazy. I couldn't, that concept fucking ruins me. Yeah, when I was, when we were there, and the island's like a normal place, like there's like, you know, whatever, but the idea that I would like,
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Aber das Inverse, Gott sei Dank, da war eine Zombie-Emergenz oder so etwas, das ist ein Ort, wo man sein möchte. Klar. Weil die Insel ist eine finite Menge von Raum. Es gibt eine sehr finite Menge von Menschen darin. Du könntest sie alle töten, wenn du willst. Wenn es Zombies waren, das meine ich. Wie groß war Azores? This island specifically was... I think you can get to the other side.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I think there's like 100,000 people who live there. You can get to the other side very quickly. You can kill 100,000 zombies. With enough ammo, yeah. Nein, ich habe es nicht. Ich habe es nicht.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I've swung axes a couple of times, not a hundred times. They scare me though.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
You have to go like that. We went to an axe throwing place. Yeah, I almost died that night. Oh, you were sick, right? Mad sick. Yeah, okay. That was seven years apart. Yeah, I wonder what the liability insurance for a fucking axe-throwing bar is. It's so stupid. Es ist nicht nur dumm, es ist dumm. Es ist... Weißt du? Es ist nicht nur dumm, es ist auch dumm. Aber es gibt eine Unterschiede.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Wie ist das? Wie ist das? Ja. Du weißt, dass ich wirklich stressig bin, wie business-mäßig ich最近 bin. Was, wenn es ein Service ist? dass du jemanden anrufen kannst, der dir an deinem Geburtstag abgibt, wenn du es nicht durchführen willst, aber du bist einfach zufrieden.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Es gibt eine Unterschiede. Dinge können dumm sein, weil sie nicht wissen, wie schlimm sie sind. Dann, wenn du dumm bist, ist es so, dass du keine Wahrnehmung von der Realität hast. Und nicht mich zu verletzen. Das ist von jemandem, der zu einem Ecksthörer-Platz gekommen ist. Viel Spaß. Wir hatten Spaß. Und ich mag Gefahr. Nicht viel, aber ein bisschen. Du magst Gefahr? Das ist überraschend.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich würde dich nicht als gefährlichen Mann nehmen. Gefährlich? Ja. Ich meine, nicht viel, aber... I mean, you definitely don't like danger.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I used to be a danger guy when I was more comfortable in the dark than I was in the light. Yeah, you were just lying about being dangerous back then. No. You being dangerous back then. At the lake, we did stuff that was dangerous, but like, not traditionally dangerous. Hide and seek? Uh...
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Copyright right now. Für Santa Gatos Studios Video. Manhunt spielen? Wir machen einfach ein großes Manhunt-Game. Und wir legen GoPros auf uns alle. Wo? Wir können irgendwo finden, wo man Manhunt-Games macht. In einem Warehouse oder so. Oder wir machen Hide and Seek in der neuen Studio. Wie? Okay.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Yo, wir werden 33 sein. Du hast es letztens aufgeschrieben und ich will nicht mehr darüber sprechen. Das ist so schrecklich. Es ist ziemlich schrecklich.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ja, ich habe nur gesagt, dass wir es hatten. Nein, nein, nein, eine andere Sache. Ich habe einen vorgeschlagen. Aber wie... Wir sind 32 Jahre alt, richtig? Aber ich fühle das nicht.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Wir sind zurück. Wir sind nicht wirklich irgendwo gegangen. In der Tat, wir haben uns diese Woche mehr gesehen, als wir normalerweise machen. Ja. Also, wir sind zurück zu ihnen. Wir sind zurück zu euch, Leute.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ja, wenn ich mich erinnere, als ich 15 Jahre alt war, das war der Krux der Konversation, 15 Jahre alt zu sein und jemanden zu hören, der 33 ist, und zu sagen, wow, sie sind alt. Und dann ist es einfach so. In some ways feel like an 18 year old more than I do what I believed a 33 year old was. Yeah. You know what I mean? I also remember being younger and being like. Bro, that guy's like 23.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Like, I remember saying that. It was funny because, like, we would be, like, I don't know if this happened in your high school, but, like, I remember it was a thing that, like, there would be girls in our high school and I'd be, like, 17 years old. And she'd be, like, she's got a boyfriend. He's in college. He's 22. And I'm just, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. Ja, da ist was drin.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Es gab definitiv in meiner Hochschule Mädchen, die nicht mehr in der Schule waren. Und ich weiß nicht, wie alt sie waren, aber das ist seltsam. Ich weiß nicht, was die Legalität ist, wenn du in der Unterzeit startest und dann eine von den Leuten nur ein paar Jahre älter ist. Wie 18 und 17?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Also sag mal, du und ich werden verheiratet. Und ich will dich nicht verheiraten. Yeah, right. Fucking bitch. Yeah, right. Bitch, you'd want to marry the shit out of me. You'd be over there being like, oh no, I have to hire a service.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ja, zum Beispiel, wenn du und dein Partner 16 Uhr startest und zusammenbleibst und jetzt ist einer 18 und der andere 17.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Weißt du, was ich meine? Ja, ich meine, ja, ich meine, ich denke, in den Augen des Gesetzes, dass du, du, du machst etwas. Ich weiß nicht, ich, ehrlich gesagt, ich, ich schätze. Dass da eine Art von Eltern involviert werden. Ich habe Geschichten gehört, wo Eltern das nicht wollen, dass sie zusammen sind.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Es ist so lustig, dass wir sagen würden, oh, das Mädchen, die ein Kind in der Schule verliebt hat. Oh, Scheiße. Und es ist so, dass wir nicht... An dem Zeitpunkt waren wir einfach so, wow. Und jetzt, wenn ich mich zurückblicke, äh. Ich erinnere mich ehrlich gesagt definitiv daran, dass ich in der Hochschule war und so Dinge so gehört habe. Und ich dachte mir, das ist so verrückt.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich habe eine Frau gedatet, die ein Jahr älter war und ich war in der Hochschule und sie war nicht mehr in der Hochschule. Ein Jahr, das Jahr, denke ich, ist nicht verrückt. Ja, aber trotzdem, weißt du, was ich meine? Ich wusste auch, okay, hier gehen wir. Ich wusste, dass einer unserer Freunde eine Frau gedatet hat, die acht Jahre älter als uns war. Dann uns. Ja. Und... Also ist sie jetzt tot?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Fucking remember it. Yeah, you will. Interesting. Weird, weird. Have you seen the new fetish? Frank, you don't know how to transition.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I'm not a cop at all. What about those new cool drugs we're all smoking? Hold on, let me get to these ads, because we do have some more here. We have Squarespace. Hello, how are you doing, Squarespace? This is where you're going to want to build your website, okay?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
If you've got a website, you can make some content, or you've got some products that you want to sell, a small business, big business, whatever you need, your website is going to be your first impression, so it's very important to have a great website, and Squarespace makes it easy to build a great website, okay?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
No, no, no, you're wrong. Don't fucking start me down this fucking road right now, bitch. Which road? The road of anger. Yeah. Anger road. Anger road. Rocky road. Rocky road. Overrated ice cream, by the way. Sorry, move forward. Yeah, no, we'll get back to that, but you're right. And like you can hire them as a service and they'll just show up to your wedding and object.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
They even have templates that are going to help you along in the process, makes building a website so much more quicker. Und es gibt ein paar von denen, die Sie auswählen können, um sicherzustellen, dass Sie das Richtige von ihnen bekommen. Sie haben auch ein paar Werkzeuge, die Ihnen helfen, Traffic zu optimieren. Es wird Ihnen sagen, woher alles kommt.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Es macht einfach Ihre Erfahrung mit dem Runen Ihres Websites viel einfacher, viel einfacher und es ist sehr organisiert. Also für jeden da draußen, der ein kleines Unternehmen hat oder wenn sie Content haben oder sie einen Website für irgendeinen Grund kreieren, I would use Squarespace. And I have used Squarespace. If you look at any of our websites, they're all Squarespace.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
So today we're going to hook you guys up. Okay, you can go to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay, so head to squarespace.com slash basement. Save that 10% off with your first purchase of a website or a domain. So it's important.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I'm telling you, the website is a very important part of it. And lastly, we have SimpliSafe. SimpliSafe is home security. It's a new way to protect your home that stops intruders before they break into your home. How you doing? Old school systems only take action once someone is already inside your home. That's too late. SimpliSafe has an active guard outdoor protection.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
It changes the game by preventing crime before it happens. And it's important to have these things if you have your own home to make sure that you have a security system. And I know that it sounds like insanely expensive to do stuff like that, but it's actually very, you know, cost effective. And it's no long term contracts, no cancellation fees.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
And it's around a dollar a day for all this protection. OK, so you have 24 seven active guard outdoor. Frank's got something safe in his house.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Apparently there's a group of fetishists out there. Is that what they are? Are we still calling them freaks? I mean, I never called them freaks. That was him. They're into wet jeans. Oh, das ist eine gute Frage. Ich werde ehrlich sein, ich hoffe es nicht. Richtig. Wette Jeans klingt nicht gut.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Boah, ich würde... Es gab einige Fahrradreise, wo ich der sexieste Mann auf der Welt wäre, wenn sie in Pissjeans sind. Was ist das, ein Flex? Was willst du sagen? That you as a grown man piss your jeans frequently? Not frequently. It hasn't happened. I don't pee in my car anymore, Joey. I tell you this. New car, new rules. All alleged. New car, new rules, no piss.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
It has happened once or twice on an emergency basis. But for the most part, I've gotten my piss under control. I love that you said that. It's only happened in emergencies. That means previously you were just doing it for fun. Wasn't it in emergencies like, I'll just do it here? No, no, no. That means before I was just trying to be efficient. You know, I've always spoken about this.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
You like to be efficient. If I am nothing else, I am efficient. And covered in piss.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
And you should be like, well, they objected. We need to take a break. Hold on, everyone chill. We need it. You know what? You bring up some really valid points.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
You never know. Maybe they're into pee. I don't know. I mean, apparently. So you've pissed your wet jeans before? You have wet jeans? I have accidentally pissed. I got pissed on my jeans. Not like on purpose I'm pissing my jeans, dude. You ever accidentally pissed on your jeans? What kind of a monster do you think I am? I don't know. Okay. Hand Sanitizer doesn't stain your jeans?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Öl? Das ist nur Alkohol, Alter. Ich weiß es nicht. Es ist nicht Öl. Ich bin einfach nicht sicher. Ich meine, ich kriege nicht die Bade- und Körperwerke, die die Szenen in ihnen haben und so. Ich kriege nicht die, die ich nicht mag. Ich habe Purell, die medizinische Sache. Ich mag die, die die Wände haben. Was? Hast du jemals Hand sanitizer mit Balls drin?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
And then just move on. Or just like, I'm so distracted. I can't right now. That could be. And we could, they can call them the wedding crashers. Du hast wahrscheinlich ein trademarktes... Wir sind okay, wir sind okay. Ja. Sag mir, das klingt nicht wie eine gute Idee. Ich meine, es gibt etwas da draußen, oder? Du könntest auch nicht mit deiner Geburt durchgehen, wenn du es nicht fühlst.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich glaube, ich habe es, aber nicht groß genug, dass ich sage, guck dir diese Balls an. Ich meine, ich bin nicht wie... Es ist nicht wie Balls. Es ist wie kleine Balls. Hast du jemals die Gumm, die Balls haben? Diese sind gut. Ich liebe, wenn ich diese liebe. Was war das?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I am, honestly. No, I do love the gum with the little balls in it.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Oh. Und es hat Balls drin. Es hat Balls drin. Weil es gut für, was heißt das? Exfoliating. Bang. Also es sind nicht Balls, sondern nur Grit. Es sind wie kleine Grit-Ball. Ich weiß nicht, was mit den Ads passiert, aber jedes Mal, wenn ich Dr. Squatch Soap bekomme, bekomme ich die, die mit Grit drin sind.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich mag Schmuck. Sie haben Harry Potter Soaps. Was ist das? Sie sind Harry Potter-themed Soaps. And it stinks like a snake? They have one for the four houses. I'll tell you this right now. Gryffindor smells great. Slytherin, really great. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff? I'd rather bathe in shit. Okay? I just want to throw that out there. Not my favorite. Damn. Why, are they too perfumey?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
One of them is like vanilla. Oh, I love that. It's too vanilla-y, though, or something like that. Okay. I didn't like it. And the other one, I don't remember. The other one, actually, if I remember, I think the Ravenclaw one didn't smell like anything to me. I hope they're not still a sponsor of the show.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Should we edit out the Dr. Squatch stuff? What? No, no, no. Are you sure? Yeah, we're fine. Alright. It's whatever. So, it's good. And we like it.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
You just don't like two of the flavors. I just don't like two of the flavors. Because I'm eating them, honestly. I'll be honest with you. Yes. Don't. But soap looks delicious. Yeah, I'm big into, oh, there's two types of videos that I love on TikTok right now. Give me them, give me them right now.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Well, like, I hate that, like, I turn my volume down, because sometimes it's like people talking, and then they put those really cool videos next to them. Oh, yeah, they know what they're doing. Two of them, one when they're, like, scraping soap, and it's like a bunch of cubes. It's like they have a checkerboard pattern in it, and then they're just like, yeah, with a knife.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Oh, ich denke, ich weiß, ich denke, ich weiß. Ist es wie, wenn es wie Schleim ist, wie ein hartes Schleim und sie es in ihre Hände kracken?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Yeah, it's okay. I love it, dude. I do love those videos, though. Because I'm always like, this is how they got us. That's how they get you, you know what I mean? Because I don't care what else is in the video. I care about what this is. A lot of the times it'll be like people just like a callus and they're just like shaving it. Ah, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Und ich bin so, das muss den Horsen schmerzen. Ich will nicht, dass er schwirrt. Nein, es ist Erleichterung. Und dann ist der Typ so, pressen und schwirren. Habt ihr jemals eine Infektion, wie... Das Schwirren? Ich meine, wenn du es ausgeschnitten hast oder etwas. Nein, nein. Immediate Erleichterung. Oh, das ist schön. Wegen der Druck. Ja.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich erinnere mich, was ich... Ich weiß nicht, ob ihr es von mir wisst. Ich schnauze manchmal meine Nähme. Oh, ich weiß. Und als ich in der Schule war, habe ich ein Stück von dem... Wo die Nähme und die Haut zusammenkommen. Und es wurde infiziert. Und mein Finger blieb. Und meine Nase war weiß. Und ich ging auf die Krankenhäuser auf der Campus. Und ich dachte, was ist das?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Und sie sagten, oh, du hast eine Infektion. Das passiert, wenn Leute das tun. So, sie haben literally einfach die Haut gedreht. Und es hat einfach... Mein Finger fühlte sich wie ein Ballon. Haben sie es getrennt? Sie haben es einfach gedreht, um es zu separieren. Weil es so viel Druck unter sich hat, dass du... Was haben sie gedreht? Warte, warte, warte. Was? Sie haben sich also einfach separiert.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Und dann gibt es so viel Druck, dass es einfach so ist. Ich will raus, weißt du? Was hast du gemacht? I watched it rupture and they gave me antibiotics and they said clean it and put band-aids with, you know, like a Neosporin on it and live the dream. Ew, disgusting. Yeah. Yeah, I hate that. But yeah, I like those videos with the paint. It's alright.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
All those types of videos I think are like kind of cool. The ones where it's people and they have like gym chalk. Wie Lüfterschock. Und sie sprayen es mit Schmutzwasser. Und dann krarchen sie es. Ja, sie krachen es. Sie krarchen es. Oder hast du jemals gesehen, wie der Kerl... Es sieht aus, als ob er mit Eisung handelt.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ja, und sie sind in... Ist es in einer Kuppe? Nein, es ist in einer Kuppe. Und er ist so...
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich meine, wenn Männer... Kann ich es verunreinigen, es zu etwas anderes zu bedeuten? Nein, es ist, wenn sie eine Wand machen. Ist es in particular underpaid workers, maybe hispanic ones? Den möchtest du? Ich weiß, worüber du sprichst, wenn sie es aufschlagen und dann den Trowel nehmen und dann einfach... Ja, Alter. Und dann auf den Topf legen und dann scharfen.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Es geht nicht darum, dass wir uns verheiratet haben. Wir hatten ein wunderschönes Gebäude im Hintergrund. Und Becca und ich haben darüber geredet. Sie fragte mich, ob ich nervös war, als wir uns verheiratet haben. Ich sagte, nein. Und sie sagte, nein.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ja, wenn sie es einfach nehmen und dann einfach aufschlagen. Und dann ist der Typ so... Du wirst mir sagen... Du wirst mir sagen... Schrecklich. Du willst nicht mit dünnem Zement spielen. Bro, hol mich in den fucking Truck. Ja? Und roll mich in den Zement. Das wäre gut, aber anscheinend ist es schlecht für deine Haut.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich bin sicher, es gibt andere Chemikalien in es, aber das ist die generelle Idee, dass es nur Rock und Wasser ist. Nein? I asked the question, you didn't give an answer, and then you're like, I'm sure there's other stuff in it. That's my question. Cement is... It's rocks. Limestone, clay, and marl.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I don't know, but I love that. How do you spell marl? M-A-R-L. Like Jacob Marley? Mar...
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Other materials, shells, chalk, shale, slate, silica sand, iron ore, blast furnace slag. That sounds sick. That sounds like a hooker's name in Ireland.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Stop. The clinker. I don't know. I feel like I'm being pranked by an article. Oh, shit. Wait. What did you look up? Cement. Oh. So concrete, that's more rock. It's a mixture of cement, of water and other stuff. So that's what you're talking about. So I'm right and you're wrong. What you're saying, where I said it was just rock and water. I knew that much. That's cement. And I was right.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
You just added 100 ingredients. Those are all rocks. Frank. Schale? You've never seen those people? That's good videos on TikTok. The people that find the raw rocks, the round rocks, and they're like, there might be an Ammonite in here. And he takes a little, he goes, ding, ding, ding, bang! And it cracks open, and it's a fossil. He finds it in shale? I do like that.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
You ever seen people hammering shale? Yeah, I have. It's so good, dude. I do. Shells. Yeah. That's a rock, kinda.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Nein, nein, nein. Was sind das? Was ist ein Schild? Ich denke, es ist nur ein Teil eines Tieres. War es immer ein Teil eines Tieres? An einem Punkt habe ich mir vorgestellt, dass es das ist, und dann ist es es nicht. Also Schilder sind einfach verlassen. Sie sind verlassenen Häusern. Sie sind Orphanen. Ja, ja, ja. Von Tieren. Ja. Na, nein, weil sie nicht lebendig sind.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Sie wollte, dass du nervös bist. Sie wollte, dass du nervös bist. Share your rice. There was no part of me that was just like, oh man, like, do you want to do this? Because like that's in my head, that's what I equate nerves to. Like I have nerves about something if I'm unsure if I want to do something or I'm unsure of the outcome.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Der Schild ist nicht lebendig. Das Tier, das drin war, ist lebendig.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Weißt du, wie du immer teure Kleidung kaufst und dann sie donatierst, weil du dich sofort schlecht fühlst? Nein. Das sind Schäle. Schäle sind die gekosteten Kleidung des Ozeans. Es gibt keinen Unterschied zwischen einer Heilungsarmee und dem Ozean. Es gibt wahrscheinlich einen oder zwei. Also war jede Schäle immer das Zuhause von etwas? Ja, etwas, das lebte, war in, um, oder nahe an dieser Schäle.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Und dann können Dinge auf Schälen wachsen. Barnakels. I don't like those. I don't like them, but the videos where people crack them off and they save the lobsters. You ever see those? I have. Those are good, too. All the Ocean Videos are like the coolest, but I don't want to be a part of them. I don't want anything to do with them. I'd like to watch, but I don't want to be a part of them.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
If I get one, you don't, guys. You know what looks like a lot of fun that I don't want to experience ever in my life, ever? What? When you see a video of like a fisherman and they can like jump up and then they're like hovering in the air because the boat is rocking so much. Hell, I don't want to be there, but I like watching it.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Schnapp deinen Gesicht. Wo? Wo? Hier. Vielleicht war ich nur so, oder so, oder so, oder so. Vielleicht, ich weiß es nicht. Ich bin mir nicht ganz sicher. Ja. Weißt du, ich muss sagen, weißt du, was dir gut aussieht? What? Some rings, baby. That's what I'm talking about.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich würde gerne... Erinnerst du dich, wie es war, als wir Kinder waren? Wenn du auf Legends of the Hidden Temple gewonnen hattest, konntest du ins Spacekamp. Und es war immer der Schuss, wenn die Kinder in der Zero-Gravity-Kammer fliegen. Ich will nicht in den Spacekamp. Ich will nicht in den Ozean. Ich will nicht in den Ozean-Kamp. Aber ist das eine echte Sache?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Denn es ist nicht... Es gibt die Zero-Gravity-Sache, aber es ist ein Flugzeug. Nein, sie haben Zero-Gravity-Sachen, nicht Flugzeuge. Echt? Ja. Ich dachte, der einzige Weg, das zu replizieren, war der Flugzeug, der direkt nach oben geht und dann direkt nach unten oder was auch immer. Und dann kriegst du zero Gravity für einen Moment. Das würde mich verletzen. Sollten wir das machen?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich kann nicht in einem Flugzeug gehen, der so nach unten geht. Ich glaube, es geht nach oben, oder was auch immer. Und dann, wenn sie das hier machen... Noch nicht. Noch nicht. Noch nicht. Ich werde ehrlich sein.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Genau. Du kannst zum Spacekampfen gehen und in eine Zerografie-Kammer gehen und du kannst Stars sehen. Ich glaube nicht, dass das eine Sache ist. Wie könntest du die Gravität in einer Kammer nicht haben? Ich weiß es nicht. Spacekampfen hat die nächste Generation von Explorern von mehr als 42 Jahren geholfen. Spacelose Aviation und Robotik-Kampfen. Das ist etwas, was wir tun können, Alter.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I'm not going to space camp. It's for 11-year-olds, Frank. First of all, yep. I know. It says from 9 to 11. Yeah. Whoa. That's not even cool that they would see that.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
It's the 9-11 stuff. We're not over it. And the price... How much is it? Space camp is probably expensive.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
We're getting up there. For 18-year-olds. Are you telling me an 18-year-old is going to a space camp? Yeah. Time to grow up, Peter Pan. Jesus, go to college. Adult Space Academy. Learn more. I'm going to learn more. I mean, you're either going... It's $900 a person. On-site overnight accommodations for Friday and Saturday nights at camp.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
All meals beginning with dinner Friday evening through breakfast Sunday morning. Train like an astronaut on the multi-axis trainer. Construct and launch your own rocket. Test engineering skills. Participate in a simulated space mission. Dude, I don't know if I can handle that. That sounds pretty cool. A space mission? What am I saying? I mean, you're doing it indoors, though. You're cool.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Then they have space... Oh, that's for educators. I don't care about that one. I feel like there's a lot of math and science that go into this. Adult Advanced Space Academy. Frank, I have a suggestion. Get off your fucking phone. The day that this fucking podcast gets an actual producer that Frank can just be like, hey, can you look that up?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Aber es ist das, was uns fühlt, als ob wir echte Leute sind. Wir sind nicht nur so wie, hey, kannst du das aufschauen, mach das für mich, Bitch. Wir machen es uns selbst. Wir machen es uns selbst. Wir sind echte, echte Leute.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Wir sind ehrgeizige, ehrgeizige Leute. So funny. It's like, yeah. Damn. Would you go to Space Camp when you were younger? When I was a kid? Like, you would be into that? I don't know, because if it was like, I won Legends of the Hidden Temple, and it was like, you can go to Space Camp, or you can get Nintendo 64 and 18 Skechers. Well, I'd take the 64.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I wouldn't hate the Skechers, I'll be honest with you. We should bring back light-up sneakers. For adults? For anything. Copyright. Look at this. We're just continuing to fucking innovate. And we've copyrighted all the ideas because Frankie said copyright. Light up shoes for adults. Yeah. It seems like you would... What are you doing? Oh, he's going to the phone, yeah. They do exist. Are you sure?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Yeah. How sure? Not sure enough that you won't continue to look at it. Light up shoes for adults. Heelys. Yeah. Yikes. Did you ever have a pair of those? My brothers did. I did not. Are they cool? Nein. Nein, das sind sie nicht. Und ich werde derjenige, der das sagt. Entschuldige, Heelys, ich hasse es, deine ganze Kampagne zu zerstören. Ich denke, sie sind okay.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Es gibt einige Jungs, die ein paar Tricks machen. Ich weiß. Das sieht cool aus, aber nicht in der Hochschule. Es sah cool aus, wenn du... Ja, genau. Es sah cool aus, wenn du nach Hause gehst und... Watch fucking Disney Channel. Like, not now. Yeah, like, if you're in high school and you're really good at Heelys, and you're like, you could do a bunch of cool tricks, like, that's fire.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
You just will not get asked. The moment you graduate, the absolute moment you graduate, those things better be in the dumpster. Yeah. Better be. And if not... They're tough. If I saw a pair of Heelys on my college campus, I think I would have lost my mind. I tell you this. I prefer Heelys over like Ripsticks. What the hell is a Ripstick?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
You know the thing where it's like you like move like a snake kind of? Oh, it's like a one board.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Well, some people do it because they think this will save everything.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Hate it. I'm not big on it either. I hate it. I think we need to just like walk.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Take it. Throw it. Break it. I could possibly one night come home drunk and if it's there being like, I'm gonna try it out. I mean, I think you need a key for it. But also, you don't need a key to take it and throw it down the garbage. Verdammte Scheiß! Die sind echt groß. Ja, ich weiß, Alter. Und sie sind so seltsam. Ich erinnere mich, du hast schon mal auf einem Hoverboard gesessen, oder? Ja.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Es ist seltsam. Es ist schwer. Dein Gehirn sagt dir, ich sollte fallen, aber du wirst es nicht. Richtig. Also habe ich es nie genossen. Ich bin nicht groß drauf. Erinnerst du dich an Mopeds? Die, die du sitzen kannst? Oh, meine Güte. Wenn du ein Moped in der Nähe hörst, weißt du, dass es runter geht. Ich weiß nicht, ob ich es dir gesagt habe, aber unser Freund Dennis hat einen neuen Moped.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Es war weiß und hatte eine Handelbar. So wie das und wie eine Schuhe. Du erklärst mir etwas, mit dem ich mich sehr kennengelernt habe. Aber einige von ihnen haben nicht das Seat. Du stehst einfach auf es. Ja, das hat wie eine Schuhe. Und er war so, er ist so, sei vorsichtig mit dem Throttle. Es ist sehr sensibel.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ja, stell dir vor, er war nicht sehr begeistert. Ja, und dann habe ich nie wieder einen gefahren. Ich habe letztens jemanden mit einem motorisierten Motorrad in der Nachbarschaft. Und ich war so, oh, ich werde es probieren.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Guys, listen. What I think Beck is talking about is not like a nervous of like, oh, I'm scared to do this, or I'm nervous, I don't know what to say type of thing, but just like a... Wie ein Giddy, wie ein Butterfly. Ja. Ich war, ich meine, ich war aufgeregt. Wie vor Shows, ich werde nervös. Oh, aber ich werde nervös. Sieh, das ist die Unterschiedlichkeit.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Du, ich war schnell. Ich habe gefragt, wie schnell geht das Ding? Er ist so 30, 35 oder so. Wenn du nicht auf etwas bist und du bist auf etwas so groß, das ist sehr, sehr schnell. Ich mag es nicht, schnell zu gehen. Ich mag es nicht. Weißt du, ich weiß nicht, wie ich diese Frage beantworten kann, weil wo zur Hölle bist du schnell? Wer hat dir eine Frage gefragt? I don't like going fast.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I don't know how to answer that. We're starting to get at each other's throats here. We need to back off and be happy. Frank, where can they find you? Frank Alvarez, 885 on Twitter. I don't even know. Frank Alvarez on all the forms of social media. And then go check out the Basement Yard. Patreon, patreon.com slash thebasementyard. Also, thebasementyard on all forms of social media.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
If you're looking for us, you know where to find us, baby. Yep, you guys can go follow me at JoeSanagato and again go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich glaube nicht, dass diese zwei Dinge eine und die gleiche sind. Ich glaube nicht, dass das Nerven sind. Ich glaube, das ist wie eine Antizipation. Ja. Es ist wie eine Angst.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich mache mich wie ein... Du bist Goku, du bist Goku und das ist so. Ich bin Goku, ich bin Goku.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
No, I don't equate those things to nerves. Because I also get that before the show. But my mentality before the show is just like, I have no reason to be nervous because the show is about to start. So what am I going to be nervous about? I just want it to be here already so I can do the thing that we enjoy doing. Same thing with proposing and marrying Becca. I don't believe it is nerves because...
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich, als Individuum, bin nervös über Dinge, von denen ich ungewiss bin. Oder wenn ich nicht weiß, wie die Zukunft verblüfft ist. Ich weiß nicht, was passieren wird. Oder du weißt nicht, wo die Klamotten sind.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich kann das nicht haben. Ich muss sagen, wir haben letztens einen Film gemacht und jemand hat es schlecht erklärt, wo die Klamotten waren.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
After I have now had this pinky ring for quite some time, it does just feel good. Right. Like it feels like I had a sandwich and I just saw the rings and I was like, yes. Ich denke, das braucht eine volle Transparenz. The reason I'm wearing a t-shirt and slacks and loafers is because... Fancy socks too, by the way, buddy. I like socks. You know how I am about socks, bitch.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
He said, make a left at produce. The whole store was produce, guys. Der ganze Ort, an dem wir waren, war Brotis. Aber ja, ich sehe das als Antizipation. Aber ich weiß, dass es Leute gibt, die Nervösen haben. Oh mein Gott, was passiert, wenn wir verheiratet werden? Und dann können sie uns für einen Flattfee hirten. 1.000 Dollar. Klar. Plus Reisen und Lodgen. Lodgen, ja.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Und dann können wir sagen... Sagst du, wir? Wir werden das machen? Niemand ist eine Insel. Das ist eine der Regeln des Wedding-Krashes. Okay. Erinnerst du dich an das Poster, das wir alle hatten, als wir Kinder waren? Ich hatte es nicht. Ich... Wahrscheinlich. Nein, ich denke nicht, dass ich es hatte. Ich weiß, was es war. Hast du ein Poster in deinem College-Dorm von einer Mädchen?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Nein, nein, nein, nein. Du hättest es, du hättest es, ehrlich gesagt, es war der andere Ende des Spektrums, meine Poster. Ja, es war wahrscheinlich wie Derek Jeter. Nein, nein, nein, nein. Ich kann meine Poster sehr, sehr deutlich erinnern.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich gebe dir drei. Okay. Okay. Geh langsam. Okay. Einer war ein Batman-Comic-Book-Cover.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Okay, was war das andere? Das andere war Dexter Morgan, der seine Hose anzieht. So we're all on the same page. The girl bending over and grabbing beer or holding two beer steins with her fucking cleavage out. I'll have two of those. Those were not on my wall. It was Batman and Dexter Morgan from the show Dexter.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich habe meine eigenen Schuhe in der Hall of Fame. Du hattest wahrscheinlich ein paar Newspaper von den Yankees.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Das war nur in deinem Wohnzimmer zu Hause. Ja, das war nur eine ganze Wand von meinem Wohnzimmer zu Hause. Und deine Don Quixote-Poster. Die waren cool. Ich mag die. Ja, ja. Und dann war der andere. Ich denke, ich habe dir das gesagt. Es war ein großer. Es war mein erstes Jahr. Ich kann mich nicht erinnern, die anderen Jahre. Aber es war Pulp Fiction. Es war... Uma Thurman? Nein, nein.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
It would make sense if it was a woman, right? What was it? It was fucking John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson holding the gun at the guy. They shoot.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Yeah, exactly. Oh man. That was awesome. You only saw my room like three or four times. Yeah. It was very college dorm like. I had like two bowls and three forks that I stole from the on campus dining. There you go. Es ist okay. Es ist alles gut. Ich muss dir hier etwas ernsthaft fragen. Das ist kein Witz. Oh. Jemand hat mir einen Kommentar gemacht und ich brauche deine Hilfe.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich denke... Oh nein. Ich denke, du bist mehr im... Du bist mehr im Fingern der Pulse in Bezug auf Trends und... Was ist so lustig? Fingern der Pulse wieder.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ja. Fingern... Wer auch immer Fingern ist. Richtig. Are skinny jeans really out of style? Yeah. It's time, Frank. Because I wore skinny jeans yesterday. Yeah. And someone said to me like, hey, don't let anyone tell you skinny jeans are out of style. And you burst out laughing.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich mag formführende Kleidung. Du kannst es immer noch haben. Es zentriert meinen Sturm.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ja, das ist richtig. Es ist ein stürmischer Sturm hier. Hier gehen wir. Ich klappe den Sturm den ganzen Tag. Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's got a little... Thunderclap is wild stuff. But they're really out of... Yeah, they are. So what's in style for pants? The baggier sort of thing. But you don't have to go baggy. I don't like baggy though, dude. I don't mind it at times.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
You're like... I like... Like you're a little baggy. They're not baggy. Maybe a little bit. They're a little baggy. A little bootcutty. Bootcutty? Yeah, bootcutty baggy. Well, like, I can't do like a bell bottom. Like a wide... I look like an idiot. I just got rid of jeans that I realized were bell bottoms after having them for several years. Did you wear them? Yeah. I didn't see them.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I wore them. You know what's funny? I wore them when we went to Austin, Texas for my bachelor party. There's a picture of me and you sitting in a chair. You wore them then? And I didn't realize and one of our friends commented on it like, is Frankie wearing bell bottoms?
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Ich muss sie bald entfernen. Ja, wir werden es herausfinden. Es gab etwas, worüber ich sprechen wollte. Ich habe es auf Twitter gefunden, vor dem Start des Videos. Und es ist der Bundeswehr. Warte, der Bundeswehr? Also der Bundeswehr? Yeah, the Department of the Air Force sent out a letter. And I don't know if this is real, but we're going to assume it is because haha he he.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Basically, they made a list and says, leadership does, however, realize the importance of open, honest communication between members. With this in mind, leadership has compiled the following substitution list. Wait, oh, so basically what they're saying is that people are using words that people are complaining about. So here, instead of those, use these.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I don't really know that. You're big into socks? I'm a socky guy. I like book socks. Those are cool. What the hell are book socks? Oh, like the old... Fuck you! Fuck you! Warum hast du uns als Kinder auf unsere Bücher gesetzt? Das war wie die meiste Stress, als ich jünger war. Ich dachte, fuck, ich muss alle meine Textbücher abschneiden. Wir mussten lernen, wie man ein Buch abschneidet.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Honestly, when people think of bravery, they think of the Air Force and me.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
So it's like a polite way to say, no fucking way. No fucking way, like, go on, giddy up.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
You're not creating a phrase. I mean, you're not necessarily creating a phrase.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
I'm gonna tell you right now. If someone drops a feasible on me in like casual conversation. I don't like that. No fucking way I don't beat the dog shit out of them. Disgusting. Next one. You've gotta be shitting me. These are real good ones, Joey. Especially when you're in the Air Force. I imagine you have to say this stuff all the time. You've gotta be shitting me. You've gotta be shitting me.
The Basement Yard
#482 - We're Going To Space Camp
Alright, well. What does that translate to into normal language? Oh, also ich würde nur denken, du musst mich verarschen, aber klar wollten sie es so sein, dass die Instanzen, die vor uns vorgebracht wurden, an einem Punkt sind, wo sie, weißt du, humorös aussehen und einen Jokern und Mockerei von dieser gesamten Situation machen.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
welcome back to the basement welcome back to the basement yard i'm here with frank what you sucking on over there frank what you slurping on frank because you're slurping over there it's tea baby you know how i be big tea boy is that that means something trans oh well i'm not i'm not support Love it, but not me personally.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
He's like, it's super expensive or whatever. It's Radio City, blah, blah, blah. Frank, I didn't say this at the time, but that is the ugliest shirt I've ever seen in my life.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
No way. It is worse than the polo. it is it's infinitely worse it's louder i i would have said frank it is a flash bang okay you would have fucking deafened the audience with this i i almost would have probably been like i don't know that you should wear that shoot can we pull a picture of it i mean yeah if you can find it i don't what's well let's start here just go to the versace website
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
That's crazy. Sab Carp is here, dude. Sab Carp. What am I? Just scroll to men's shirts. Okay. Just go to men's shirts. While he gets that up, let me defend myself. Horrific. Let me defend myself. Okay, really quick. It wasn't those. Where am I going? It wasn't those. You're getting closer. It's a black one. Keep going. Keep going. That's close. Keep going. Oh, that's all they got?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
They might have removed it. Oh, no. Show more, baby. There it is. Wait, where? On the right. Yes.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
First of all, that's the shirt that he was going to wear. Wow. Let's read off the price. It's a couple buzzes this one is $990. I wasn't wearing long-sleeve, but okay. I'm so sorry hear me out hear me out Yeah, okay. You want to do this? Yeah?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
We're gonna get hurt out then if we're airing this out if you're fucking if I've gone through all 40 my underwear and we got dirty laundry let's hear this shit I Didn't get it. I know. In hindsight, it was not. Like, what was I thinking? Yes. However. However.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
You know what I mean? Bro, that's a big market. Like, vintage clothing and stuff like that. Bro, I ever tell you I looked up, so, those of you guys that may not know this, Young Jeezy. The rapper.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
However. It was a big occasion. Yeah. And I wanted something to memorialize the event. Do me a favor. Memorialize. Ask me if you think I ever would have wore this shirt again.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Frank, I know the answer. It was going in a frame. In a frame? Yeah, people frame shirts like they frame jerseys. What are you, Aaron Rodgers? It's not going in a frame. Did you frame the clothes that you wore? No, I actually just put them away, though, and I said, like, oh, right. All right. Wait, like put them away... For the winter. Like for their winter clothes or like fall clothes.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
It's not like you put them down. You took them out to the backyard. All right, you've served your purpose. Just look at the flowers! Now, but that's such a crazy... Who would do that? Who would buy something to memorialize an event? Did you buy anything to memorialize Radio City? Yeah. What do you buy? A watch. Frank, the watch was very expensive.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
It was the most expensive thing I've ever bought in my entire life. However, one, let's go. Let's go. We're going? Get the fucking gloves out, babe. Let's go. No, no, no. The watch. Yep. I don't think the issue that I have with this thing that you bought, we're planning on buying, was the price. Okay. The issue was what it was. What it was. The item. Okay. What it looked like. Listen, Joey. Me. Me.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
You see that there? That hurt. I'm a little confused by what you're doing. You see that there? You see those veins? Yeah. This one runs through those veins. Blood. And what does blood make me? A human. I'm only human, babe. I make mistakes. We make mistakes. Okay? We only... We can only do what's best for us as humans in those situations at the time.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Crazy that you did the accent. Accent. You dressed up like him for Halloween one year, right? I did not dress up like Young Jeezy, but you, however, had the same closet as him. Yeah. So apparently I had a shirt from him that was a big, it was an all black shirt and it had a, like a glitter printed on snowman. And it said, I got that snowman hindsight. I now understand it was referencing cocaine.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
He's doing one of his rants that don't make sense, but it's a lot of words. Hindsight. The benefit of hindsight on our side. Hindsight is always 20-20. Of course we can look back and say, that was a dumb idea. You think that's true? I don't think it's true. I think sometimes I look back and I go, what? I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Well, you look at it like that because you have the benefit of hindsight on your side. You can look back and say, at the time, you were like, yeah, I was gung-ho about it. Hindsight now. I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Damn right. I'm just saying. I was trying to memorialize what was, professionally, our biggest achievement. Right. Okay? But I know. And I wanted to do it with Versace with me, okay? With a silk Versace shirt. With Donatella Versace. With Donatella Versace on by my side. You know what? And I will say this. I will say this. I don't like it, right? I don't like the shirt. But I will say this.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I think that if you did wear it, of course, I'm joking. I would have never been like, ew, Frank, don't buy that. If you wore it, I honestly think that you could pull it off. Thank you. And I think that it would have looked good. It honestly would not have boded well for you, though. Oh, yeah. To be like, hey, Frank. Yeah. All of the jokes that you make about me.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
There were some other ones that I had contemplated. Yeah, there were some other considerations. There was a white one that I almost got. You can keep going. And I'll tell you, if it comes up, some of these are just like... These are hideous. Some of them are. That white and black one. And that gold and blue one were up there, too. These two? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Do you know one time I actually walked into a Versace store, or someone I was with, maybe I was with Danny or something, but, like, I think someone wanted to buy a Versace swimsuit, trunks, or whatever the fuck. And some of the shit there is just, like, when I picture these things, it's all, like, older rich dudes in Miami. Mm-hmm. With white pants. Mm-hmm. And they're wearing that shirt.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Yep, absolutely. You know what I mean? Flowy white pants, too. You don't really see a lot of younger people in this. I just, again, at the time, my mentality was just like... These are... My mentality was just like... Let's memorialize this with something that is so insane. Because you know me. I like loud shirts. You know me. That's not like loud.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I know this is not loud, but like it's louder than what you're normally used to. You know, like you're not a loud shirt guy. If you were to say, is Frankie a muted style person or a loud style person? You would obviously say. Power Rangers or something like that. Louder. I thought in my head. It's almost become like a part of the show that like Hawaiian shirts, loud clothing.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
You haven't worn Hawaiian shirts in very long, Frank. I can't remember the last time I wore them, but I wear them fairly frequently. The Batman one you've worn, but like besides that. I wear them every now and then, but like you see me twice a week normally, you know? Yeah, but I've seen pictures of you. But also, I mean, regardless, we're splitting peas here.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I just think that it would have been like, this is Frankie at the pinnacle of being Frankie on stage at Radio City. So you think in order to be the peak of yourself, your shirt needs to be... Well, I need to show that I am... Just 400 decibels. Listen, Joey. A worry that people might have about you and I is that along this road that we call life, There it is. Which is a long winding road.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Circle. I'm alive. Boom! The lion came. You know what I'm talking about. Bang! Yeah, they held that motherfucker up. Imagine that was real. Like the animal kingdom, like a monkey's going to hold up a cub and all the animals line up. And then they're fucking, what are they called? The gazelles are just like, hell yeah, I'm fucking about this shit. Also, the gazelles aren't going to be there.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Yeah. And I will go as far to say that Frank, we knew. I might have. We knew that it was cocaine. I probably knew, but like. You back then thought cocaine and selling drugs was so cool. Not cool for you to do. No, no, no. But it was like, yeah, sick. Well, because I was. I'm a big pimp. You know what I mean? You're like, I'm a big pimp who slangs cocaine. Yeah, that's fair.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Those things get eaten by fucking everybody. Well, that was a thing that they said in the movie. It's just like, don't we eat these animals? And it was just like, yeah, but it's the circle of life. It's like we're having an assembly. Everyone chill. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Bro, that soundtrack. Go back and watch that fucking movie. You open up with circle of life. Just can't wait to be king.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Be prepared. Just can't wait. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Is that like the pinnacle of like Disney soundtracks? Not my answer, but it's one or two. I recently, Finney texted me and he was like, yo, I just saw a video where it was like top 10 movie soundtracks or something. Or maybe it was Disney soundtracks. And he's like, Tarzan is 10. I was like, that's fucking illegal. Illegal.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
We can debate this one day on a Patreon episode, but. I think Lion King is definitely in the top five. Without question. Bro, you're forgetting so many other fucking movies that are just absolutely... I mean, Aladdin's probably number one. Aladdin is in there. Little Mermaid is in there. Ooh, Little Mermaid! Pocahontas is in there. Mulan is in there. Bro, people go... People ride for Mulan, dude.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Tarzan, man. Tarzan, exactly. Tarzan, bro. Mulan... Not Mulan. Pocahontas is like... It's got one. Colors of the Wind? That's it.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
yeah that's a problematic movie now that we think about it a lot of them often are I don't even know the story of that movie I don't even know what I mean it's just like what is going on white guy falls in love with a yeah and then like his big like dude is just like nah fuck that this is our shit now and she's like no but the what makes it problematic is like what the real story was it was like at the like the real Pocahontas was like 11
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Yeah. There's some stuff. Pocahontas is such a cool name. By the way, that was like my first crush. Pocahontas. Yeah, Pocahontas. I could see that. I was in love with Pocahontas. You know my answer. Christina Ricci and Casper. That's it. That's another one, yeah. See, I didn't have the same kind of crush on Christina Ricci that I had on Pocahontas.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Pocahontas, I was like... Fucking Roxanne in a Goofy movie? Are you kidding me? I know. When I was younger, too, I was like, I'll never be good enough for Roxanne. Nala. Years ago, we did an episode where I think we did a bracket of the best-looking animated characters. Might be time to revisit that. But, yeah, some goodies there. Anyway, we do have some sponsors for today. Hello, Mama.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
So, the first one being How You Doing Better Help. This show is sponsored by Better Help, okay? That is...
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
online therapy so uh if you're going through something traumatic or even if you're not if you're going to you know if you just have a lot of life decisions coming up or anything i suggest you get into therapy i've been in therapy for a number of years i think it's very helpful i think everyone should be in it and would benefit from it even if you think like ah you know it's not for me or whatever trust me i think that it's it's good for everyone it makes you a better communicator it's just it's just all around a very helpful thing in my opinion
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
And then your mom was like. I mean, no, not fair. I'm not. I was not. I mean, that's this. I mean. I probably. Here's probably what happened. Start 101. I like. It's a great show. I like Young Jeezy the rapper. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
But BetterHelp has over 10 years of experience with matching people with the right therapist from their diverse network of over 30,000 licensed therapists, okay, with a wide range of different specialties. But it's fully online, so it makes it customizable. You can talk to your therapist every week or every other week, so you kind of, like, make it like that, make it very easy to –
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Find a therapist. You can start talking to a therapist in just under 48 hours. And the best part about it is that it's more affordable than in-person therapy, which I can tell you from experience is insanely expensive, even if you have the right insurance. Some of them don't even take insurance. It's a lot. So yeah, this is a fraction of the price, and we're also going to save you some money.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
So go to betterhelp.com slash basemanyard, and you'll get 10% off of your first month, okay? That is betterhelp, spelled B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash basemanyard, and you will get 10% off of that first month, okay? And we also have Rocket Money, okay? Rocket Money, all-in-one personal finance app that is going to put money back in your pocket, okay?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
They find and cancel unwanted subscriptions. You know, if you, like, signed up for something like a newsletter, and it's like you get a free trial for a month, and then you got to start paying for it, and you forgot that you had it, and now you've been paying for it for the last six months, and you just forgot. You had no idea it was coming out of your account, stuff like that.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Or the yearly things. That's what got me. I was paying for stuff, but it would be one payment, and then it would be for the entire year. And even if that's like 50 bucks or something, that's one day. If I don't see that on the statement, I just miss it, and then I end up paying for it a bunch of times. It's finding things like that, canceling them, putting them back in your pocket.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
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The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I went and bought the shirt from the place that I went and bought my graphic, like, you know, large T's, you know, and then after I learned that it was, it was probably that I, and like then learned it was about cocaine. Right. That. Right. I then wore it even more frequently to feel cooler. Why are we talking about Young Jeezy? Because I went to look up.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
So that saves members up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features, okay? Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash basement today. Again, that is rocketmoney.com slash basement. Listen, whatever journey you're on, whether it be personal wellness,
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
whether it be personal wellness, financial stability, or anything going on in the world, why don't you allow the Basement Yard boys to be along with you, okay? Go to patreon.com slash thebasemanyard. We're gonna do this, we're gonna, on this windy road, okay? We're gonna be together. You sign up for the Patreon and you directly support us and you get more of us too.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
So that first tier, you get these weekly episodes seven whole days in advance. That's one week in advance, okay? And that second tier, well then guess what? I'm going to get exclusive episodes every single Friday, which are kind of nuts, honestly. Those episodes get a little all over the place. If you can believe it or not, they're crazier than these.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
So go check it out at patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Thank you, guys. We finally pushed to over 34,000 patrons. Unbelievable. We were just talking about it. And he agreed to run a half marathon because of that. So we thank you guys so much. No, I did not. In November. We did not. So thank you guys for pushing us there.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
We obviously want to continue to grow so we can give you guys more of what you love. And Patreon allows us to do that the best. So thank you. Please go to patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. And if you want to save some money while supporting, go to your web browser and go to that URL. Go to patreon.com slash TheBasementYard and use it.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
You'll save yourself a little bit of money because if you use an app on Apple, they get a cut of it. So... It's just easier to save you money. Whatever journey you're on, let us come and hang out with you. Okay? So go check it out. And the boys are back at it. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Too much? I'll be honest. I lost my elbow on that one. We announced that we are the new tour. New tour.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
From the Basement to the World Tour. The Basement Yard Boys are getting back after it. Yes, sir. If you guys, for some reason, haven't seen everything that we've been talking about or posting about, go to TheBasementYard.com. All of our information is going to be on there. If you're seeing this early on Patreon, May 13th. Yes. At 12 p.m.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Eastern Standard Time is when the tickets go live for presale with the presale code BASEMENT. If you're not a patient and you've seen it after that, still go check, see if we're still available in whatever cities are close to you or in your city. So go check it out, TheBasementYard.com. We're excited. Go get your tickets. Come see your boys. And this is, you know, if you came last year, New show.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Yeah. We got new stuff. We want to make it so it doesn't feel like last year and you're not, you know, you're getting new stuff. Yeah. So go check it out. Thank you, guys. We love you. We wouldn't be able to do this without you. Yes. Amazing. Let me ask you a question. Oh, you. Uh, I don't know. Can I, I don't know why I hate the pointing so much. Like it's not a bit. I just don't like it.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
And it's not like you're doing anything wrong. Like we're in a show. We pointed each other. We talk, but like you just did that. And I was like, Oh, maybe you got something. Like what? I don't know. Trauma. But you do, the way that you react to like poop conversations and mustard and me pointing apparently is pretty. It's pretty the same? It's pretty like.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
It's similar to how you reacted to when that shirt popped up on the screen that I was going to buy. Yikes. But what were you going to ask me, babe? Go ahead. Well, the question that he kind of proposed to us before this, so I wanted to bring it back up, but it was like if you had a full day to hide a paperclip. Paperclip. A paperclip from the FBI. Five agents. Sure.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Five detectives are going to raid your house. You have to hide a paperclip somewhere in your house. Do you think that you could fool them and you could successfully hide it? What equipment do they have? Bro, I don't work there. I don't fucking know. I mean, do they have, like, x-ray? Do they have, like, stuff that can detect metal? No, that's cheating. That's cheating.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Like, do they have a metal detector and stuff like that? Or are they just looking, like, good old gumshoe tactics? Like, are they just going with their hands and they're looking around? Let's say that. Okay. Yes. I can hide 40 of those fucking paperclips. Okay, that's insane. No. Bro, one? I'm gonna find 40 paperclips. I'd hide them all in the same place. That's a trick, Joey. That's not a trick.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Okay. Where would you hide a paperclip? I mean, the easiest way that I know they're not getting it is I swallow it. They'll know. How? They're going to check you. Well, they said they don't have a metal scanner. So what are they going to do? They're just going to poke my belly and put their ear to it and stuff like that? Also, I don't know what's going to happen to you.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
You already got a little sensy tummy. You just swallowed a piece of sharp metal. Yeah. It won't work well. Let me tell you something. Here's the thing. It's going to be a red wedding when you take it down. Here's the thing, babe. Ant said that if they successfully don't find it, I win a billion dollars. Oh, is that the thing? Yeah, but if they don't find it, they die.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Yeah, dude. For an I Got That Snow? I Got That Snowman shirt. You bought it? No, I didn't. Oh, crazy. No, I didn't buy it. Frank, if you walked in here with that T-shirt, I would explode from excitement. I can't, as an adult father... Wear a shirt about doing coke. First of all, your kids will not know what it means. They will eventually and be like, daddy, what does that?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
But if they don't find it, they die? What if they find it? Do I die? No, you just don't get a billion dollars. If they don't find it, they die, and I get a billion dollars. So they're going to shove their hands down your throat and up your ass to try and find this thing. They could try, bitch, but they ain't getting very far. It'll be in my belly.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
The first place they'll check is definitely some sort of wand to make sure it's not in you. Regardless, there's no way they're finding this thing. Where would you put it then if you weren't there? What would you do? Do you know? I have no idea. Here's what I would do. Okay, walk us through. I'm a detective. You ever, uh... Ow! Whoa! Well, you're gonna have to be tougher than that, detective. Uh...
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Open up, Joe. It's me. We're not doing role play. Why not? Because. People like it. So, you know when you get like a scratch in your wall or something and then you like take soap and then you paint over it? Soap? Yeah, you've never done that? What the fuck are you talking about?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Like, if you get, like, a little nick in your wall or something, or, like, the molding, you can take, like, soap, and you keep going over it. Oh, like a bar of soap? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, to fill it in? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought you meant, like, to clean the mark out. Okay. I meant like that. Okay. So, my thought process...
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
is like shave a part of the molding out and then put the paperclip, like open it, and then put it like that and then do the soap over it and then paint over it. It'll just look like part of the molding. That's actually, that's a really good one. That's really, really good. If they have metal detectors, maybe I would shove it deep in a TV or something. Well, here's the thing.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
If they have metal detectors, they're going to find it. What is deep in a TV? They're flat screens.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
i'm saying i would take it apart and put it in somewhere deep because if they have a metal detector maybe that'll throw it off so you're hoping like well you need something like lead you need something like lead in order to protect from seeing through that's what's famously superman can't see through lead so superman works for the fbi yeah no i i if we're saying like metal detectors they're gonna find it does it need to remain in paperclip form
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Could I like melt it? Can I like melt it down and make it into a ring? No, you're hiding a paperclip. I'm hiding a paperclip. Make it into a ring? Just think it out loud here. What? All right. I think like the easy answer is like hide it in the piping somewhere. So like most bathrooms have like copper piping and stuff like that and like put it down the drain. You have to be able to get it.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
No, he didn't say that. That was not spoken. Oh, I mean, I'm assuming you have to be able to access it. You can't just flush it. Well, then it wouldn't be in your house. That's why I didn't say flush it. I said put it in a drain and tape it to the side or something. No, they'll find that. You think so? I think so. There's the spot that we have in our house.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Technically our house has a chimney and, but there's no fireplace or anything. I guess it's just like a chimney for some reason. And in the attic, there's a spot between the brick chimney and the like attic. And there's just a hole and I don't know where it goes. Throw it down there. And it's not, like, big enough that, like, they can fit down there and get it.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
They would have to, like, send a drone. What if I took it and I wore a rubber glove and I shoved it in a socket, electrified it, so even if they find it, it's like, I can't get that. You know, they could just put on the rubber glove and remove it. Oof, didn't even think of that at all. I think, like, I definitely think, also, we have young kids.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
There's, like, a ton of, like, little toys that, like, you can hide shit in. They're going to just smash them all. But could they? I like in a pipe. A pipe is not bad. So, like, you know how, like, bike tires, like, you have to, like, it's like a tire and then a tube on the inside? Put it in between, you know, the tube and the tire. Yeah, I like that. You know? That's not bad.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
No one's asking you to wear it to the family barbecue. They're asking me to wear it on the Internet where it will be forever. I'd rather wear it to the family barbecue. Also, you're like, I can't be a dad doing you. I saw this morning. I open up TikTok. There's a picture of you. Playing with fucking whatever those are. What do you think you want your kids seeing you do more often?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Does your yard count? Can we bury this fucker? Ooh. Sure. Oh, then they're never finding it. Yeah, I'm burying it. I'm burying this thing 40 feet down. 40 feet down? I'm burying it. You probably hit China. I believed that when I was a kid. I legitimately believed at the beach that if I dug far enough, I would end up in China. Am I fucking stupid? Yes, you are. Am I dumb? Yes.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
And go and try it right now and let those walls cave in and take the oxygen and your life with you. I...
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
think that there is if you get how much prep time do i have if you tell me like they're coming tomorrow yeah like okay so like then i could definitely do it but if you're like they're coming in an hour i'll be like oh fuck if you dug 40 feet you can tell oh someone just dug there in a day what if i took a cucumber and i just shoved it in slow brother i'm going that's the easiest thing to see something metallic in a cucumber
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
They would have to crack open the cucumber. Done. Bing. There it is. Come on, babe. What if I know what I would do? I know exactly how I would do this. I would buy a truck's worth of needles. And I would throw the paperclip in the needles. Needle in a haystack. Frank. I believe that's a paperclip and a needle stack. Oh, exactly.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
So... I mean, if they knew that... Even best case scenario... Oh, it's here. Damn, I thought I'd get him. Prank, prank! I got it again! Bang, bang, boom! Best case scenario... They're sitting there sifting through that. Or I got another one. I buy the big needle stack. And you tell them it's in there. And I don't tell them it's in there, but they think like, well, that's where he must have put it.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
It's elsewhere. You fill your house with needles and then you hide it in a good place anyway. Or. Needles fucking everywhere. I'm on it. I'm on it. Remember the movie Saw 2? Hear me out. Remember Saw 2? Where are we going? You saw Saw 2, right? Yeah. Remember where the girl gets thrown into the big hole in the floor with the syringes? Literally my least favorite part of all of the Saw movies.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
That's a bad one. Ew. What if I had a pit like that? You don't. But what if I did? I'll buy a kiddie pool. Are you saying if you had a pit of syringes? Yes. In your house? Yep. And I open the paper clip so it looks like the needle part of a syringe and I put it in there. The whole pit of syringes was so not needed for you to do that. Ooh. Ooh. What if this is good? I think it's good.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
All right, hear me. You're supposed to listen. All right, hear me. Somehow, okay, you take the paperclip and you make it flat, and then you put it into a tube of toothpaste, and you get it all the way onto the side. So you could just use it normally, and it's like toothpaste. There's nothing in there.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
If you get it all the way in, and then you put it off to the side, then it'll just act as toothpaste. Bro, I'm sorry. If I have 24 hours and I'm a detective, everything that could have something in it is getting torn open and cut open and searched thoroughly. It's true. I think the molding's a good answer. What if while they're in there, I slip it in their pocket?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
They're going to walk away with it, you dumbass. Well, they're staying in the house for 24 hours. Unless they pull it out. But if they can't find it, they're like, ah, I guess we're leaving. As soon as they walk out, they'll be like, wait, I have it. Exactly. It's over. The 24 hours is over. But they'll have it in their possession. But they didn't find it.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Yeah, but they didn't find it during the allotted time that they had to find it. This is a horrible idea. Yeah. They're going to be like, ah, damn. And be like, oh. Yeah. I think hiding it in something or under something is the easiest answer. In an urn. Yeah, are they going to really dump out Grandpa? Let's be honest. That's fair. That's true.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I was thinking, ooh, what about, you know, I think I got it. Okay. You have hardwood flooring in your house? You guys had hardwood flooring in your house. You know, there's like the nails in the hardwood flooring. Yeah. What if I make it look like it's one of the nails? I just like, I like drill in and put it in and then like make it look like a nail.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I think it would stick out unless you're going to put that like floor glaze. I would make it look good. I would make, I would do my best to like make it look good. Yeah. You know? Or like in, you know, you know how like floors that have carpeting, they have like ugly throw up colored carpeting. It's just like the spongy foam underneath it. Yeah. What if you just shove it in there?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Like in, in the, in the throw up carpet. I mean, this is another thing that I think they're probably just going to rip up the same way that you said anything packaged. I think we could do it. What if we put it in a, in a pot of boiling hot water? Gotcha. Come on. Watch this. Turn it off. Just look inside and let it cool down.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I feel like if I drill a hole into a door and then put it in there and plug that up, how would they really find it? You'll tell that there was a hole in a door. Can I alter this paper clip at all? Yeah. You just can't melt it. You can't melt it. So I can bend it. I can paint it a different color. Yeah, yeah, sure. Okay. That doesn't help me honestly. I just wanted to check if I could do that.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I just wanted to check. I think that there's a possibility that – why don't we do this? Bro, why don't we just put it like when you first walk in the house, there's molding above your door, and do the thing that I said right by the front of your door. I think that's tough because that's the first place they're going to check. Like any good detective. Bro, shove it. Get a giant ladder. Right?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Climb up to your roof and shove it somewhere. He said in the house, not on the house. So does it count as in the house if I put it in the brick outside? Like what if I'm like pointing the house? You know, you get rid of the old shit, the concrete between the bricks. You put it in and then you point the house. Boom. I was going to say in a paver. I'd say the driveway. In the driveway, in a paver.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Tar. You cut a little section of it, and you put it in there, and then you put it down and just make it look like the paver never came up. Yeah, I was going to say just under a tile in your house. How are they getting that? Here's the thing. Yeah, so here's the thing.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Regardless if there's five of them, if you put it somewhere where just the timing doesn't make sense that they would get to something like that, by the time they got through every single paver, I'll take those chances. For a billion dollars? Yeah. Unless they just... Yeah, yeah, no, you're right. Billion dollars, baby. Yeah, there's no way. There's no way they're finding it. There's no way.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Not a single fucking way. What fucking detectives do you know, Clouseau? Who do you know? Wait, what if they have a dog and the dog knows what paper clips smell? Dogs can't smell metal. They smell bombs and drugs and kids. But if they smell me, they'll know I... You have to have someone else place the paper. Hey, brother, it's your house. Everything smells like you. Not outside in that one brick.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Was it an ampersand? I don't know. Apparently it's like a brand or something. Maybe a brand is strippers and cocaine? I don't know if it's strippers and cocaine. Like specifically, it might be like hookers and cocaine. Just any variation of a lady of the night. Yeah, and drugs in powder form. Right. Just, you know, you could put them together however you choose. Right.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
It's your house. The place probably smells like you, period. Dogs can't smell a brick in the air? In the air. I don't know. That's like if you were just like, well, if I murdered someone in my house, my fingerprints are all over the place. It's like, yeah, because it's your house. Same thing. Your scent is everywhere. Do you think you could hide...
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I'm trying to think of something bigger than a paperclip. A baseball.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
no no baseball they'll find that's impossible that's really tough yeah literally impossible i can't hide it in the wall i can't also if i'm the agents and i'm gonna die i'm walking in here with a sledgehammer the walls are coming oh everything's down everything i'm i'm dismantling that piece by piece don't make it harder if you start knocking the walls down i mean they'll have to go through it take it out not in there go through it like they'd have to do it in a smart way i know this is like not the conversation we're having but like you're moving into a new house soon
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Did you ever, like, and I don't mean to ruin this for you. Here we go. It's done. I'm not. But you ever think about, like, that there could be stuff in the walls? Like a body. I've never thought about it, but thank you for this now. Right. Or like haunted. Have you ever spent the night there? Do you know haunt?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I don't think you know how buying houses work, but they don't like give you like a one night trial. Like a sleepover. Yeah. Just like if you don't like it, no satisfaction guarantee. You'll get a full return. Basically, the first when you get the place is when you stay in it. I always think about that when I, like in my new apartments, the first night I'm like, fuck, I hope it's not haunted.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
So I don't know. I don't have my realtor's license, so I can't with confidence say where this happens or like the minutia of it. But like Frank to my under the fuck on. You've said minutia four times today, Frank. Four. Four minutiae. When have I said minutiae? He minutiaed in the video we shot before. You minutiaed on the call earlier. Did I minutiae? You minutiaed. I don't remember any minutiae.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
It'll be in the video. I honestly don't remember minutiae. When you guys see the video, you'll know he minutiaed, and you're minutiae now, and then you minutiaed on the call. Did you just learn minutiae? No, I've always known minutiae. Well, now it's very popular now and it's been for minutiae. It's a popular word. It's going to be pretty laborious for me to take that out of my fucking vocabulary.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Don't bring that back either. And I'm giving you a point on purpose. I think... Frank, also, can I be... You don't... I... You don't... No. I don't know. All right. What is it? So, like... Wait, what are you talking about? Minutiae. Oh, just like the little parts of something. Like minute. Yeah, like minutiae, like little things. Like little details. Yeah, little details.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
But what I was going to say is that some places, some states, it might be different state to state or whatever, but you need to like, if there's a known crime, like a murder or something that has happened, or like if it's suspected of being haunted. Yeah, but I'm not saying like known crimes. I'm saying, like, this guy was covered up. Unknown crime. Yeah. Hey, listen, man.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
He's just a big T-boy. It's all right. It's okay. That's out of the bag, T-boy. T-E-A. T-E-A. I got you. T-E-A. We knew what you meant. Careful. Some people might not. It's true. But I don't want to, you know. It is what it is. We're going to skip over that. Just dance around. How you doing? I'm doing well. Can I ask you a question? You're looking up and down. Go ahead. Say something.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Out of sight, out of mind. Ignorance is bliss. Could be all bodies in the walls. The walls could be, this house could be being propped up by skeletons. And I wouldn't know. Yes, and. I'd be more worried that someone sees an open house sign and then they're just living in there. Uh, like squatters? That happens, dude. Wait, what?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
You ever see those videos of people are, oh, my bunch of bananas is gone and I don't know what it is? Oh my god, and there's like a small Asian woman that crawls out of like a cupboard and they've been living there for like four years or some shit. That's kind of what I'm talking about. Yeah, dude, that shit terrifies me. I'm telling you right now. Well, there we go.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
But, yeah, dude, so my kids are going to inherit shirts that might be worth like $300, $400 in a couple years. Frank, they're not going to sell them. I know. They'll hold on to them. And then what? They gain more value. But you're not going to sell it. I'm going to give it to my kids. I'm aware of that. But are they going to sell it? No. Exactly. So what does the value matter? I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I don't know where this happened, but, like, I saw a video once, and it was just, like, I've noticed, like, things have gone missing, so I set up a camera, and then there's just, like, someone that, like, crawls out of a cupboard. You've heard about this. You might be able to look it up. Look that video up. Shut the fuck up. You've never seen this, but, like, in that situation...
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Wait, what are you talking... Why are you saying open house? That's like when people are showing their house. Right, and then... Yeah, but they're... Go ahead. And then they see that, okay, this house is going to be vacant. They get in there, and then when the family moves in, they're just secretly living in the house. Son. That can happen. I'm sure it has happened.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
And like... Shit like that, I'm sure... I'm like... beating this person like they're a demon. Because I wouldn't believe that they're human. It's pretty crazy. It happens. In my house, a person crawling out of a cupboard and eating a banana? You need to pull this up. I'll try to find it.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
They found the area and there was quilts and pillows set up and shit like that and food wrappers and this person would sneak down. Maybe it was publicity for a movie or something, but like... No, that's terrifying. Bro, I would... I'll take 10 dead bodies before I take a human living in my crawl space. Oh, so you'd rather the dead. Absolutely. The dead don't talk. Yeah, that's true.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
The dead can't creep around. I mean, if they're ghosts. I don't like being jump scared. That's my thing. Yeah. I would rather if someone squat and squat and be in a living room like, and let's have an argument in court or something. Yeah. But don't sneak out in the middle of the night and steal the cookies.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Well, you know, sometimes when people show houses at open houses, like it's someone's house that's currently living there and then they move out after it's sold. So like they might, people might not have the opportunity, but I'm sure like new build construction, people just go in. It's also a thing with like, they'll like steel piping and shit like that. Copper piping isn't cheap. Right.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I don't know if you know the law, the rules around this, but like how does squatting make any sense? Bro, it's like, I don't know either, but, like, I've heard stories of, like, people just show up, they have, like, a bank statement, like, send them mail there, and it's like, oh, I got mail here, it's mine now, I'm a squatter.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
And there's, like, rules and regulations that people are like, landlords are like, please fucking help me, I can't get this person out. I can't understand that. Like, I don't know the laws. I think in theory it was meant to, it was set up to protect... So the landlord just didn't kick people out for no fucking reason. But it has now become the opposite of that.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
If there's no contract where you're living there or something like that, then... You know what I mean? Yeah. So this guy was missing things, and then he set up a camera, and then he saw this. I can't see shit. It's very dark because it was nighttime, but someone crawls out of the... And then starts living their life while they're sleeping. Steals things.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
A deranged woman living in the attic is what it says. Broke. Oh, my God. See, this is the thing, and this is so scary. Yo, I don't even know what I would do. I think I would abandon my house. Abandon my house? I take... I'm not going to say what I would do. Yeah, because I'll say it, though. If I woke up in the middle of the night and there was a dark figure...
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
shadowy figure in my fucking kitchen grabbing shit, it's fucking on. It is so on. Here comes Ken Griffey Jr. You're swinging away, baby. And I'm screaming at an octave I'd be embarrassed of because it'd be very loud. Be honest with me. Would it be like screaming or would it be like, yo, yo, can you, yo, yo? It would be that. Barking a little?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Like, how are you not asking yourself that question? I just want my kids to open up and I'll be like, you know, I'm like a 55-year-old man. And I'm just like, these are shirts from when I was 18. Here, these are for you. And they go, whoa! Yeah. It's going to go exactly like that. Is that a Daredevil logo? It is, yes, correct. You're like, no way, Frosted Flake shirt? That's so sick.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
It would be that, but the second they turn around and come at me, I feel like... Do you really think, like, I've thought of this before. Like, do you really think you could beat someone up with a bat? Like, what are you asking? Like, if you had a bat right now and I charged at you, you think you could kick my ass? Are you saying, like, you?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I feel like people think it's easier because they think it's, like, a stationary target and they're going to swing, hit them once, and knock them out. Frank, I'm going to knock your block off. What are you talking about? Watch this. So then, did you get hit with a bat, though? No, because I ducked it. Right. So I'll swing lower. I imagine that, like... It's not as easy as you think.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Like, I think people think, like, you know, like those people that have, like, bats by their bed if, like, someone breaks in and they run down like that. Like, bro, I think. It's better than not having one. Correct. But I think people think that, like, I'm going to swing at a stationary target and I'm going to hit them square in the head where it's going to knock them out immediately.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I mean, if you have a weapon and someone runs at you and you do end up connecting with their head, they're probably dead. Yeah, but their head is, you know, what, 8% of the length of their body or something like that. Definitely more than 8. It's more than 8, but you know what I'm saying. Is there a sock on the bat? What the fuck is that? What the hell does that mean? A sock on the bat?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
It means, like, so if you swing at somebody... What is it, like, people put socks on their doorknobs like they're having sex in their room? Are you fucking a bat? If you swing at somebody and they grab the bat, if there's a sock on it, when you pull, the sock comes off, you got another chance. That's incredible. Wow. Really good. We called you stupid for a sec.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Well, the camera just shit its pants, so we jumped right to here. Well, good thing it wasn't wearing tighty-whities. Full circle. See that, baby? Not a half circle. Brought it back. Brought it back. What a full circle. You're welcome. We do have some sponsors for today. More sponsors. More sponsors. All right, folks. What do we got here? What do we got here? Who do we got here?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
What do we got here? We have... Light Strike, okay? Light Strike, prepare to be struck by the light. That's not there. It's Light Strike. It's a hard refresher, okay? An excellent source of 5% alcohol, okay? It's right here. It says Light Strike is not a hydration product. It's a hard refresher that hits different, okay? It's got some alcohol in it. I took a sip of it. I loved it.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
It's nice, okay? 5% ABV. It's got coconut water, okay? It's got sea salt. It's nice. It's very tasty. And I like the name. Light strike. Frank, you like that? Light strike.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Listen, it's bold, it's ambitious, it's beautiful. Look at it. I mean, it's lovely. It's Lightstrike, 5% alcohol. Like I said, I tasted it. It's a hard refresher. It's a very refreshing drink, okay? And I'm about that. I'm not one of these guys, you know, that needs a drink that's going to make me go like, oh, I can't.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
And you're like, careful, I bought that for $25. That's $28 now. That's what you're going to say. Hey, careful with that Spider-Man tee. It's vintage. It's a collector's item now. Yeah. What have you saved for your potential children one day? Nothing. Nothing but money, which is hindsight a good idea. Now that I said it. Nothing but money. You know...
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I like something nice and refreshing, you know, that makes me think of summertime, sitting outside in a breezy shirt. You know, the sun's hitting my face, and I'm just having a nice, refreshing Lightstrike. Does lightning strike twice? Could strike a couple of times. Let me touch. Oh, there he is. He's been struck.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
There you have it, folks. Light strike. But, yeah, go check out light strike. It's a lovely drink. It's got 5% alcohol, so if you're 21, that's the only people that can drink it. If you're 21 or above, none of this. Don't be illegal, okay? We don't need that. But, yeah, go check out light strike. It's beautiful. We also have here SeatGeek. Okay, SeatGeek.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Listen, this is where I buy all my tickets, all right? So if you want to go to, you know, a Yankee game, a Mets game, something like that, you're going to want to get it with your SeatGeek, okay? You want to go to a concert, anything like that, the summer's right here. So go to a baseball game, sit outside, eat 15 hot dogs and eight beers, all right? That's a typical game for Ant.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
All right, all right. So, yeah, with SeatGeek, their number one rated ticketing app, they have a lovely interface to let you know if you're getting a good price for a ticket or a bad price for a ticket, judging on the colors, dark red, bad, dark green, perfect. So, yeah, check out SeatGeek, and right now we're going to save you some money, okay?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
So the code is BASEMENT2025, and you will get 10% off of your tickets, okay? So go download the SeatGeek app. Use the code BASEMENT2025 for 10% off of those tickets, all right? There you go, folks. It's pretty good. In final news. In final news. In final news. In final news. We have a new pope. Oh, we have a new pope. It's our new pope. We're new popes. Our new pope. Okay. Our new father.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Our new father. Our new father. Isn't he American? Yeah. Yeah. But apparently it's like another country is trying to take credit for him too. But we got a Chicago Pope. Hey, this guy's out there. He's from Chicago? He's from Chicago. He's a Cubs fan? He's a fucking, what's the place called? The hot dog place? Oh, I don't know. I don't remember.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I don't remember, but he's going to be like, naming a father to shine and Jordan dropping 84. You know? Yeah. I think the internet is ablaze now because I think this is the first American Pope.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
ever is it and you might need a question i didn't even know that popes could be american why not they're from they were all like it'll i was gonna say all italy no the last one pope frankie was from oh yeah he was like he was from argentina or something and then before that german he was german right there was some stuff uh john paul where was he jp i mean i imagine italy
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Oh, so is this the first American pope? Never in the history of the Roman Catholic Church has there been an American pope. Damn. Wow. We're back up. We're back up, baby. Trump's going to take fucking credit for this. Listen, I mean, he could take credit for whatever he wants and often does. Make the Vatican America again. That's kind of crazy. Bro, imagine a guy up there.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
This is kind of weird, bro. I don't know if I want a pope that is American. Yeah, we got to know which way he's moving if he's going American. Because American, American. Are you American if you're living in the Vatican, though? That's a different conch. I mean, technically, yeah. I mean, I don't think he was living in the Vatican. He was part of, like, the boys.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I don't have that yet where I have a sentimental attachment to material things or items or something. I understand it, and I know that there will be times in my life where I will have sentimental stuff that I probably keep, but I don't know. It's hard to imagine. Like now I'm getting, I feel like closer to the idea of like, okay, I get it.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
He was just, like, he was there on, like, a weekend bender. And he was just like, I'm pope now, guys. No, he's not, like, just like a priest and then you're pope. He was a cardinal. We've talked. Yeah, bro. Being a Cardinal is like you got to put in some years. You got to do your time. You know, you start in the mail room. What's that called? He grit his teeth. What do they call it?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Cut your teeth. Grit. He grit his teeth. He was getting after it. Yeah, he did. He put in. I wish they could do like for whatever the new popes are. They have like, you know, like stats, like tell the tapes for them and stuff like that. And it'll be like. Pope this guy. 15-time pope of the year. 15-time priest of the year. 22-year cardinal. You know, 38-inch wingspan.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Over 100,000 Hail Marys hailed. I just think this could be the turning of the tide to bring America back to a place of just like, oh, shit, okay. Or it could be real bad. I wonder how do they vote on who to pope? I think they go up there and they're just like, yo, what do you think? Like, yo, anybody cure blindness? There's that movie Conclave. I haven't watched it. I haven't either.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
And I watched the trailer and I was like, I'm not watching it. I was like, why am I watching that? Why is Voldemort telling me who should be the Pope? You know what I'm saying? What is this? I heard it was a good movie. I haven't watched it. But John Lithgow's in it. So what does that do for you? Nothing. I mean, he's an actor. I don't know how they choose it.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Is it just like, because you've never been in fraternity election board meetings and stuff like that, where it's like everyone gets to vote. It's basically like, they vote. I know they vote. And also the smoke thing is fine.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Nuevo Papa. Papi. Bro, Twitter has been absolutely electric. It's like, you know, like the, I don't know the name of the song because I know there's an actual name, but like the Bulls walk out music. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah. And it's like, this is what the new Pope is coming out to. And he's just like, you know. That's crazy. Does he get new, like, drip?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Bro, if we don't get like a Cubs pinstripe, Bro, also, I didn't know that they get to choose their own name. Well, yeah, you got to choose your communion. His name's like Robert, but he's like Pope Leo. You got to choose your own communion name. I imagine it's the same shit. Like, what was your name again? Like, Frederick? No, Nicholas. Nicholas, okay. Well, there you go. It's the same idea.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I think they probably do that in order to be in line with, like... Tradition? Not just traditions, but, like, probably so they, like, find... Like, they're kind of like... in line with maybe who they're taking the name after. Oh, like who you're most like? Yeah, like who they want to most follow in their poping. Isn't there like 15 Pope John Pauls? Well, no, I think there was only two. Really?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Pope John Paul and Pope John Paul II. Were they back-to-back? No, I don't know. I know JP2. Yeah. I know CMC. I know Benedict. What about JP the OG? JP the OG? I don't know anything about these guys, to be honest with you. Yeah, me neither. And we should probably be careful so we don't blaspheme. We're only just talking about their names. We're okay. We're not blasting anything. We're okay.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
They're just names. Yeah, what are you worried about? Are you scared of God? You're not even a God guy. We are doing a show in Chicago. Do we invite the Pope?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Do we invite the Pope to the show? Just like, yo, bless our show. Do you think that we could sell out a theater at the Vatican? Have you been to the Vatican? I have. What is it like? What's the surrounding? It's the only completely... Isn't it the only country that's entirely in another country or something like that?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
But like five years ago, even I was like, I don't, there's nothing in my life. Whenever I was someone to ask you, like what's, what's the first thing you would grab or like, what's the three things that you would grab if there was a fire in your apartment? My mind would just go to like, what's the most expensive stuff. So it's easy to replace.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I don't know the facts about it, but... It is also the smallest country in the world, too. It is. That's also true. But how big is it? It's just a big, big, pretty church. Also, there's catacombs down there. Speaking of buried on top of dead bodies, is that where they put all the popes? I think so. I think so. They throw all the bones down there. Throw the bones down there?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I think that is the Vatican. This is probably a very stupid question, but like the Vatican is not just that building. It's like a little city around it. Yeah, Vatican City is the name of the country. So like what is that like? They got like a donut and shit? Those gift shops probably go hard, dude. So many gift shops. Oh my god. Really? So many gift shops. You can buy everything.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Holy water's probably... You can? Fucking $20. It's from the brook. It's right there. You know what I mean? That's like taking a cup of water from a river, go to the Vatican. You're getting it straight from the source. That's some pure spring water. You know what I'm saying? You can kill a guy and drink the fucking holy water there. That'd be totally fine. Can you drink holy water? It's water.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Yeah. What did you think holy water was? I thought it was something different. I'll be honest. No, it's just water that someone was like... That's it. One more time. That's what it is.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Yeah. I think of all the chain restaurants you know, what do you think would make the most sense to be in Vatican City? Chick-fil-A. They have been pretty consistent with their messaging. So, yeah. They're like, you know. They're like, yo, we're so holy that we hate gay people and won't open on Sunday. Isn't that what they say? I could think of one. I'm pretty sure. I might upset some people.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I'll tell you offline. Wait, you could think of one? I could think of one that would line up with some stuff that has happened in the past. What? Oh. I know your answer. Yeah. Subway. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Little Caesars? Caesar? Roman? No? All right. I don't know what you're... We're coming off the heels of Subway, and I was like, what are you talking about? That's fair. Well, if they did... I mean, Subway would have great marketing. If they did a... Like, it was like a foot long. If it was like $5 foot long, but it was in a cross. Ooh, a $5 cross long. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that would be good.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Because you can get two different sandwiches. Let me get a pizzola, chicken pizzola. I used to order that from Subway. I know. That's what you used to get. I remember very clearly. Yeah. That thing was soaking wet with sauce that you used to get. I used to tell her, keep going with the sauce. When I got this thing, I would douse mine in oil and vinegar. Listen up.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
It was never like, Oh, there's this something that's really important to me. Like a pen or some shit. Crazy, crazy. I've been collecting things meaningful to me my whole life. I know. I guess you're just, you don't care about stuff. I mean, I wouldn't say that. I just think that you... I think the obvious answer is the most important thing you would grab is Charlie.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I used to, like, dirty talk to the subway. Basically, I'm dirty talking to the people at Subway when I'm like, put more sauce on it. Go, go, go, go, go, go. Make it fucking saucy. Oh, my God. More, more, more. Toast it. Leave it in. Leave it in. Toast it. More cheese. More, more, more. Make it more crunchy. Yeah, you can't order from Subway without it sounding a little sexual.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
You're like, banana pepper. It's just like, what kind of bread do you want? It's just like, oh, garlic herb. Yeah. Oh, let me get that garlic herb. And then they open it up and they're just like, they, like, split it open for you. They're like. They literally... Yeah, yeah, yeah. This bread? Yeah. This one, do you want a six inch or a foot long? It's like, what the fuck?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
What do you think I'm here for? Get the fucking foot long out. What do you want? You want some oil on it? Yeah. She's like, give me some more oil and vinegar on that. More? Yo, anyone who walked into a subway in order to six inch is a fucking bitch. Okay? Yo, I've never in my life... Ever in my life... Got anything other than a foot long Subway sandwich. Six inch. Who are you? A bitch?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Or the kids one? Bro, if you bring your kids to eat at Subway. That motherfucker better get a foot long too. I don't give a fuck. Just bring them to McDonald's, dude. Just bring them. Six inch. This is America, dumbass. And now we got the fucking, the Pope. Now what? Now what? Now what? We got a Chicago Pope. Hell yeah. What's gonna, now, what are you gonna say?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Chicago Pope, he's out there, he's like, eh. I really want to hear him talk. Really do. Is he an old fuck? I'll be honest, I don't want to hear him talk. Is he an old bastard? He looks like he's in his, like, 60s. Oh, that's young. Yeah, he looks kind of young. He's a young guy from Chicago. Get the fuck out of here. He looks like he's in his 60s, maybe 70s, but like... I might go visit this dude.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I mean, maybe. You're not gonna. Why not? What, are you gonna go visit the Pope? I want to see the Vatican. Okay, you could visit him, though. It's different. Well, I'm not gonna, like, fucking go have dinner with the guy. But if he drives by in the Popemobile... Bullshit. If the Pope hit us up tomorrow, I was just like, yo, I want to have dinner with you guys and bless your show.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Frank, we're going, and I'm asking him about how much he loves Chris Bryant. What?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
And they're just like, you're the new Pope. 69-year-old Pope, you know. Pope fucking Coach Ditka. Bro, if he was the first American pope and he was voted in on April 20th and he's age 69, my head would have exploded. And imagine he came out and his robes were just like weed socks. 420. Oh my God. Jokes aside. What does the Pope do? Can he like do some shit? I'm sure.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Oh, we're not counting humans and pets. Like how you said it with humans. I thought you were going to go, we're not counting people. I was going to say, then that dog dies. No, yeah. I just, I think like there's something, like I always look at like, even like some like old shoes that I have, I'll be like, wow, this will be cool. Like seeing my kids like run around in them one day.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I think it's, it's like a liaison, you know, between the Catholic church and different countries and stuff like that. I do in all jokes. He's an ambassador. Kind of. Yeah. I think, I hope that this creates more of a sense of.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
love and happiness and inclusion on behalf of the catholic church yeah because there has been some times where they've not been those things sometimes yeah most of the time they have not been those things probs um that's crazy though dude shout out to chicago just getting the pope dude they probably lost it oh man that fucking river is gonna run green why green when they run it red chicago when they run it red i don't know why what why does that mean
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Well, green is for St. Patrick's Day. Yeah. Red would be for the Pope. It would be white, I think. White? I feel like you've got a better chance of making it probably white. Yeah, you can dump, like, milk or something in it. See what happened? Like, I told one of the worst jokes of all time, and then the conversation was just horrible. I'm sorry, guys. I think I was... Strucken by the light!
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
What did you even just say? Well... There you have it, folks. I think that's all we can do legally. Okay. Me and Frank are going to take, you know, at some point during the tour, we do have some time off, so we are going to go to the Vatican and have hot dogs with the Pope. Brother, no. In Chicago. If we in Chicago have a hot dog with the Pope. He can't go back to the hood, dude.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Imagine they were like, this is the Pope. He's from O-Block. Fucking Chief Keef up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude. That's fire, though. Hey, man. Let's hope this is good for the Catholic Church. Because... America as a whole... Ain't been doing so hot. I wonder if he was doing his time in Chicago. Like, he was just, like, a pastor at, like, a, you know.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I don't even know what a pastor is, to be honest with you. But, like, he was a priest or something. I don't know, like, the pathway. Yeah, like, the track toward popeship. Because if you're a cardinal, I'm assuming it's like, all right, you don't have to be at the little churches. We'll put you in a big church. Well, I think that the pope needs to be cardinals.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
So, like, it's like cardinal is like pope junior. Yeah. So, like, then it's like, oh, shit, there's an opening. Maybe you could jump, like, maybe, like... Bro, can you imagine how fucking mad you would be if you worked your whole life to be the Pope, and then it's open, and then it's like, nope. Someone else Poped over me. Someone else is getting Poped first. I'd be fucking tight.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Also, apparently he had, like, there's, like, betting odds on it. Yeah. And he had a 1% chance at winning at the beginning. 100% chance of winning. Probably a lot of plus money. Someone with insider trading, because you know that's corrupt. Someone's probably on the inside. Oh, well, yeah. Robert from Chicago is going to win the whole thing. Listen up.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I mean like that was daddy's. But do you think they will do that? I think with certain stuff they will. Like obviously. Your old shoes? Yeah, like shoes and socks and stuff. Like I think they will. Socks? You're going to give your kids your old socks? Frank, they're not going to wear those. Here's my socks. No, it's not like ones that I currently wear.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
You didn't hear it from me, but Wrigley is a great place during this time of the year. It's like, huh? Damn, that's crazy. So all the Cardinals. Yo, how hype would you be if he sings take me out to the ball game at like the next Cubs game? I just want him to get at that because I'm used to the Pope just being so old that you could barely understand them.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
And then they're all they also like, you know, I'm just I'm just not expecting a 60 year old fucking guy from Chicago out there. You're not a very I wouldn't define you by any stretch of the imagination as a religious person. You couldn't tell from the last 20 minutes? But if this guy, in his first official press conference as Pope, if he does this, tell me if you're completely back in.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
If he's just like... Feed up. So my plan is, by the end of the year, 20,000 Hail Marys, supplement with an Our Father. Like, how pumped would you be? And then he just, like, cracks open a light strike! This is, like, the perfect way to get out of a bad joke. He's just going right to the light strike. And just cracks it open. I've done it twice so far.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
And he's just like, you know, like how, like, when people crack open a, like a, what would he do if the Pope sat down with a 40 and, like, just a pack of cigs? I don't even know, dude. I mean, him kicking his feet up would probably be enough for me. I'd be like, damn, this guy's really on to something. He's like, we got to change something. We got to change this, the whole thing around.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I don't know. What if he, like, makes it? Will you go back to church if he was just like, at every Sunday mass, every person that comes in gets a hot dog? And crinkle fries? I'll go. And crinkle fries. If he throws in a crinkle fry, I'll go. Best fry. I'm not having this conversation. We don't need to because all fries. Best fry, go. Steak fry. Yep. Oh, yeah. I was gearing up to yell at you.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I'll go steak fries. I think fries are one of the most overrated things. Steak fries? I think fries, period, are overrated. I remember you said that. You like onion rings. I think that shoestring fries, I would literally rather eat my legs. Light strike! Ladies and gentlemen, I think that is all we have for today. Frank, where can they find you?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Also, you guys, like Frank said earlier, go to TheBasementYard.com. Our shows are posted there. So if you're coming out to the shows also, don't forget to go to TheBasementYard.com and submit your stuff to our show. And sometimes we read those things out at the end of the show and we have conversations with people in the crowd. Come out. Come see your boys.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
You know, our time is going to be split between the tour and the Vatican now at this point. So, yeah. So come out to our shows. Go to TheBasementYard.com. Get tickets. And, yeah, that is all. See you guys next time.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
It's like socks that I had previously worn that I saved for them. Yeah, no, that's what I'm talking about too. That you have old socks. I don't wear them all the time now. They're in storage. Frank, they could be in the Smithsonian protected. It wouldn't matter. Old socks that you wore. What is your attachment to these socks?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Some of them just have a story to them, like when I got them, what they are. Is there one that, like, stands out? Like, here's a story about these pair of socks that I can't wait to pass on. Not at the moment, but I'm hoping that something will come to me before.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
How much was that shirt? I don't know. Was it too much? Yeah. What's the most you've paid for a t-shirt? A t-shirt? A t-shirt. I mean, we know the polo, the Gucci polo. We know about Gucci polo. Which I donated. Yes, which is crazy. What was I going to do with it? Hand it down? No, I get it, but like... I don't know. It's dumb. I don't know. I mean, you know how I feel.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
And, like, if I see them, you know how they say, like, you need to feel the energy of something when you hold it, and it's just like, oh. Like, you know you're going to name your baby, and then you hold it, and you're like, oh. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Do you feel that way about your old socks? Well, yeah. Right.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
You have 40 pairs of underwear? I get why women have them. Between what I have and then what's in storage. Women have an unbelievable amount of underwear. It's in their ass, bro. It's in their ass. You need a lot because those things are like- But they're cool and colorful and it's like, this one's laced. Shut up, bitch. I got some cool and colorful. I'm sorry. I bitched again.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I got some cool and colorful underwear too. I get that, but it's less of an accessory for men, in my opinion. That is true. They've got matching sets and that looks nice. We don't have matching sets. We don't have a bra. What's it called? You get a Victoria's Secret. What's it called again? The word is escaping me. Penis? Nope. That's not what you get there. Lingerie? There's no men's lingerie.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
That's a big industry. That's why women have cooler underwears and stuff. I mean, I don't—I guess now that you guys are saying it— 40 pairs of underwear is wild. I would say maybe 30. That's so crazy. But also, like— But I never run out. So, like, I never—I'm never like, oh, my God. I don't run out. I mean, you must if you only wear nine. Oh, you only have—I'm sorry.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I thought you were saying you only have nine. I have, like, a top five that if they're clean, I'll go out of my way to wear those. So, like, if they're not clean, though, then I go to the other ones, but then I'll do laundry. I just... But, like, do you wear 40 or 30, rather? Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes I'm a little late on... Always flipping them around?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I'm wearing, you know, one per day, and I do laundry. Didn't you switch to, like, tighty-whities, too? No. See, this is why you have to be careful with what you say. I have not switched to tighty-whities. I accidentally bought underwear. But you wore them. Yeah, they're very comfortable. Yeah. And they're not white. And they were gray. And I have a gray and a blue. A gray's crazy. Gray and blue.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Blue's fine. Why is gray crazy? I don't know. It's... You could leave evidence. Of what? Crap? Is that what you're worried about? Anything. I mean, it's a... Can I ask you a serious question? You've got two holes with stuff... What, you think I'm just, like, leaking piss out of my pee-pee?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
frank you're a human you're a human being okay everyone's penis has deceived them one day okay fair fair fair fair i did it yesterday can i ask you a serious question yes and i know this might be a little gross for some people Legit. Yeah. When's the last time you had a skid mark in any form of underwear you've worn? In the last 365 days. That's disgusting. I know. That's gross.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I save a lot of, I donate a lot of clothes and I save a lot for my kids. Right. So some of the shirts that like nicer, like shirts like this. He saves them for their kids so he can, they can get them one day and then donate them. It's funny because most of the stuff that I have for my kids is like graphic tees. Yeah. Because that stuff always comes back around. You know what I'm saying?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
But it's not every day. I mean, it's still gross. Control your butthole, dude. It's... I know. I mean, dude, accidents. Honestly, how? Accidents what? Like, I think... Oh, like you flew too close to the sun. No. Well, that did happen too when I had fucking food poisoning. Yeah, okay. And that was fucking crazy. You flew too close to the sun and you were like, oh, oh, oh.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Well, yeah, I had food poisoning, and I was just, like, literally dying. I had neurovirus, and I was just, like, shitting every five seconds. Neurovirus or food poisoning, there are holes in this story, just like, apparently, in your penis. Apparently, it's crazy. We all have one. We need that. We need the hole. But, yeah, just, like, an accident, you know, or, like. Just like a little crazy.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I'm not saying I'm shitting my pants and I'm like, I got skid marks every day. I mean, in theory, if you have skid marks, you're shitting your pants. Why wouldn't you wear white underwear though? Because I am an adult male. But like also because like, bro, just in case. Honestly, if I was younger, not me. I couldn't tell you the last time there was like something and I just went like, you know.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I mean, it's like having car insurance. No, one of those is required by law. No. So it's like having car insurance to me because it's like I'm not saying that because I have car – I'm getting car insurance because I get into accidents all the time. It's just in the event of an accident, I'm covered. So I'm not going to wear white. I'm not going to wear gray.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
I'm going to wear dark collars just in case there's an accident. Then there's nothing crazy going on. I guess. I guess. You're working really hard to get me to follow you there. And you know what? That's fine. I just, I don't see. Honestly, do yourself a favor. Go out and pop. What? Go out and buy yourself underwear. Like, legit, like, underwear. You know what I'm talking about? Whiteys?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
It doesn't need to be white. It could be any color you want. Wear it and tell me, like, it's not kind of fire. I'll be honest with you. I'm over- Why'd you do this? Because, like, they come up around the thighs. Those are whites. No, they- You're just- There's more- They don't need to be white, Joey. I'm just saying, like, tidy- Tidy whitey. It could be tidy- Tidy blueys. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
You know what I'm saying? Those to me are- Tidy whitey is, like, the shape.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
oh like granny panties is like the the term women yeah all right just tighties okay just call them tighties go out and buy yourself tighties and tell me that they aren't kind of superior let me ask you this or actually not let me ask you anything put that finger or maybe i'm am i telling you something do you know i'm asking do you think granny panties would be comfortable to wear
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Bro, we spoke about this recently. If I was a woman. No, no, no. I'm saying as a man right now. If you put on a pair of granny panties, do you think it'd be fine? What's granny panties if not tighties? Just thinner. But also the material. I just said thinner. That just beat the fuck out of me, that material. I said that, thinner. No, no, no, it's like a... Am I crazy?
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Like, and think about it. Graphic tees in the nineties are like big now. Are they? Yeah, there's a whole, like, companies, like, Culture Kings and people that, like, sell graphic keys. Yeah, but they're selling to, like, us. They're not selling... Like, vintage. Yeah, I mean, us is, like, the people we were a kid at that point in time. That's like us wearing, like, a Cheers shirt or something.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Why is it like, it's crazy I don't have silk underwear? I have a silk smoking jacket. What are you, Hugh Hefner? What are you talking about? I don't have silk underwear. I have a silk smoke. What is a smoking jacket? I think it's exactly what it sounds like. It's meant to be smoked in. But what do you, what does it look like? Like a robe? Kind of. It kind of looks like pajamas. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
It kind of just looks like I have a set. It's the pants and- They're smoking pants? I'll wear them one day. Are they silk? I think they are silk. They're like a shiny- They're shiny as hell. And it feels good? Oh, yeah, it does. Yeah. Yeah. I'll wear them in one day. Is silk hot? I've heard that silk under heat doesn't do well. Because I remember I looked into getting a silk shirt for Radio City.
The Basement Yard
#503 - Hiding A Paperclip From The FBI
Frank, now that this moment has passed, okay? Now that this moment has passed. Go ahead. Go ahead. I'll do it. You got it. Go, go, go. Frankie, when we were doing Radio City, he's like, oh, we got to wear something nice or whatever. And then he showed me this shirt. And I was like, oh, you're going to get that? And he's like, yeah, I'm thinking about it.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
what's going on everyone welcome to my apartment uh do have an announcement before today's episode we got invited to perform at just for laughs festival is the largest comedy festival in the world okay so we are going to be in vancouver in february on february 20th we're going to be performing at the queen elizabeth theater as part of the just for laughs festival uh we're super excited and honored that we got invited to this thing
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I probably wrote that on like a bio somewhere.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
And maybe we just... Oh, wow. Didn't even think about Terminator.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Maybe you should probably... Well, that's like physical intelligence. That's like... It's not artificial.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
We coined. We have a coin. We have a coin now.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Three. Oh. Four. Five. This is the day you choose to say a joke about me. And I look good. Sorry. You do look good.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
There's still one big problem. One big fat problem. And why did I go 9-11? I wasn't sure.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
No, I wasn't going to say anything interesting.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Not only that, but where is AI going that that's what you come up with?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I'll do you one better. I know the FDNY won't because there is one that I have made 9-11 jokes to and he's not happy about it.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Dude, he saw a clip where we made a 9-11 joke and he did not like it.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
What did he say? He was just like, it's not funny.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Speaking of love, do you remember that time when you tried to gaslight me into believing that I said something very, very offensive about African Americans and the Jews?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Don't even attempt to show me that. I'm not. Because I'm not going to look.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
We had 9-11 and gaslighting in it, I mean.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
FitBod is a lovely way to get in shape. They're going to create a wonderful workout routine for you based on your needs, your experience, and whatever it is you want to get out of life. So if you want to lose weight or you want to get lean muscle mass or if you want to put on mass or whatever it is, you just want to burn some fat,
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Because a lot of people, they don't have access to a gym membership. They don't have any workout or maybe they just have some dumbbells or maybe you don't have dumbbells or you have no interest in going to a gym. You just would rather work out like by yourself.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
And it tracks your muscle recovery so you can avoid burnout and keep your momentum because that's also a mistake a lot of people make when they're first getting into fitness is working out too much, actually. You have to throw rest days in there. They're actually extremely important when you're trying to put on muscle or lose weight or anything like that.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
So they're going to hit all the points for that. It's very smart when coming up with the routines for you. And it's also more affordable than a personal trainer. You can get 25% off your subscription or try the app for free for seven days at fitbot.me slash basement.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
So if you want to try jumping into the world of fitness, even if you have never done it before or you don't know too much, there's over 1,000 demonstration videos so you can learn a lot from this as well. Uh, but yeah, get 25% off your subscription or try the app for free, uh, for seven days at fitbod.me slash basement spelled F I T B O D dot M E slash basement. Go try it right now.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
And I've been in therapy for years. I think that therapy is very important, and everyone should be in it at some point in their life, if not all the time. Um, so yeah, I think that it's, it's very helpful, especially in, in ways that you don't even really know. Like, even if you feel like I'm good, I don't really have anything. I'm pretty happy and blah, blah, blah. Like it's good.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Just starting there is a good starting point and you can kind of probably unlock some stuff. It's very helpful. It feels like organizing your life. It's, it's nice. So, If you want to get started with BetterHelp, you can go to betterhelp.com slash basemanyard, and you will get 10% off of your first month, okay?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Lime green and red? Why? Because you loved watermelon?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Like Jerry Seinfeld is performing three days later at the same place. It's crazy. But you guys can get tickets to this if you're in the Vancouver area or if you want to come to the show. Just go to TheBasementYard.com. Tickets will go on sale December 17th at 10 a.m. Pacific. Okay? So pop out. Come show love to your boys. But February 20th, Queen Elizabeth Theater in Vancouver. And yeah, tickets.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
You must think so low of me that I would believe that.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
That never happened. Yeah, it did. Tea section?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
You can do whatever you want. I just don't know. I think it's going to have a really tough time getting expense.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Come on. But it doesn't feel like that with what you're saying.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Greg has had... maybe the worst ideas he's ever come up with when it comes to the studio. I don't think that's true. And both of you have ran away with this idea where like, suddenly they forgot that we have a job and it's like, we could do this, this, this. I'm like, there will be no room left. If you want to make this a fucking, Greg has pitched a basketball hoop eight different ways.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
And one of them legitimately, he was like, he's like, dude, you're probably going to say no. So like for whatever reason,
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
He was hitting me with the Keith. He's like, you probably won't like this, but, like, here.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Yeah, he's like, no, you probably won't like it. You're probably going to say no.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I was like, Greg, I'm going to say no, but tell me. And he's like, that room in the back there, like, if we just put down, like, hardwood and a basketball hoop.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I see no changes. Wake up in the morning and I ask myself, is life worth living?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Okay. It's a big room. And they want to put a half court there.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Do you think anyone from our fifth grade graduation class?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
My mom's not there. Actually, there's like three women in the office that probably know us.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I mean, I don't know first and last. Miss RG is there. Ah, yeah. I think Miss Watkins is still there. Hey!
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I didn't know what else to say in that moment.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
You want me to put a couple of wipes? Pipes. Pipes. Oh, pipes.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
But, like, when is anyone going to do this?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I feel like everyone who owns a pool table or any of those types of tables, they used it for, like, the first month that they had it, and they never touched it again.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I was just going to say something so weird, and I don't know if I should say it now. It's going to sound weird, but you know what I mean. Please don't throw me in a hole here.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
My mom likes them and I want to slap it out of her hand.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I would never slap my mother. Are you kidding me? Well, good, good. I'd put a stick in my eye before I would do that. But I had a dream.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
But I had a dream that I was at a restaurant and there was this weird waiter there. And I'm not gonna lie.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
This is what it's like being friends with Frankie. You heard that one day. Didn't look it up. No, I have looked it up. I have looked it up.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I've also heard that, but I don't know. Who are you attacking then? Because I don't know it to be true. You're sitting over there like you're Bobby Dreams.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
You can't... Yeah, but you can't, like, I've heard it too. You can't create a face in a dream.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
There's maybe five people, but I don't remember who was there. And the waiter comes over, and he hands me my food, and then he gets down and kisses me on my hip. Oh. But my hip was exposed. Was I wearing low-rise jeans? what the hell? I don't know what I was wearing, but my hip was exposed and this guy smooched it. He was like, and I flipped. I was like, I was like, what the fuck are you doing?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Say this. Hold on. I was like, what the fuck are you doing? And he gets up and he's like, and he's just looking at me like this. Like, I like it. I was like, yo, get the fuck out of here. And then he turned kind of sinister. Holy shit. And then he looks at me and he goes, you look terrified. And I got out of my chair and I got in his face and I was like, where? Get the fuck out of here.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
He walked away. I woke up shortly after that. Yeah. Or maybe I didn't, but that's all I remember.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
We have more ads. We also have Kickoff, folks. Kickoff is great up. There we go. Kickoff is a smart credit building app. It's going to help you build your credit. So if you screw up your credit at some point in your life, which I'm not going to say we all have, but I have. You put a couch that you bought years ago on a credit card, and then you change your credit card, and you forget about it.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
You think you made the last payment, and then you did it, and all of a sudden you get a note from collections. Screw it up. But you got to build your credit back up at some point in your life. Don't worry, I did. But it's a smart, legit credit hack with no catch, no credit check, no hidden fees, no interest. It's simple. You make on-time payments.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Credit bureaus see good behavior, and your credit grows fast. That's all they want to see. They want to see that you can make on-time payments for things. You're not irresponsible with your money. and Kickoff is going to help you do that. It's the number one credit building app out there. It has over 100,000 positive reviews on the App Store, and 98% of them are five stars. So really good reviews.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
People will love it. So you guys can try it today. Help your credit survive the holidays with Kickoff. For a limited time, get your first month free. Go to getkickoff.com slash basement today. But yeah, it's a hurry for a month of free Kickoff, okay? That is spelled without the C, so it's getkickoff.com slash basement. Spelled G-E-T-K-I-K-O-F-F dot com slash basement.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Must sign up via getkickoff.com slash basement to activate offer. Offer applies to new kickoff customers first month only. Subject to approval. Average impact of a 28 point increase in first month base on Equifax. Vantage score 3.0 changes for kickoff customers with starting credit. Below 600 who made their first on-time payment between January 2021 and March 2024.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Payment and credit activity outside kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Terms and conditions may apply. Offer subject to change. Individual results may vary. So there you go. And lastly here, we have Aura Frames. Aura Frames is a really cool gift if you're having a hard time trying to figure out what to get. uh, your loved ones this holiday, you can get an or frame.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Um, but you can visit their website or frames.com. Uh, and you will save $35, uh, dollars off of their bestselling Carver mat frames by using the promo code basement at checkout. But you're probably like, is it just pick a frame? Not normal, just picture frames. Okay. It's a frame that you can upload videos and pictures to, and you can upload to them all the time via this app.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
And it's a cool gift to give to your mom. Maybe that you don't see that often. If you're going back home for the holidays, give her this frame and then you have the app and they can have the app. And you just kind of update them on your life by uploading like videos and photos and stuff. And they kind of just like, you know, they just update. Your mom could just watch your life in the frame.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
So it's really nice. But yeah, you could save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com. And again, $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver mat frames by using the promo code BASEMENT at checkout. That is Aura, A-U-R-A, frames.com. And the promo code is BASEMENT. This deal is exclusive to our listeners, so get yours now in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply, okay?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
So $35 off with that code BASEMENT at AuraFrames.com. Go give them a nice little gift, folks.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Do you think someone was doing it and they were just like pew, pew? No, I don't think that. Not everything is Star Wars, Frank. It's time to grow up. Take the jersey off.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Your background on your phone does that too, right?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
You're all about that interchanging photos.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
You are very flexible. You could get your leg all the way up.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Were you about to say you're a violent guy? I was, but I'm not. Frank, you're definitely not.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
What does that mean? I'm desperate for attention or something?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Independent, creative, social, attention-seeking, fun-loving, easygoing.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Did you hear how I tried to say it? Manipulative. Manipulative. Persistent. Problem solvers. Okay, this is just insane.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I mean, this is probably very obvious, but I have no idea how... I, we, we all know that my parents love Tom.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Yeah. Like the first child, they love Tom. He's the golden child.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
My dad would sit at the end of the table. He's never done it. But he would nominate everyone else.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
yeah yeah yeah i was within fork range so if i forgot dude i remember when we started to wean that out it felt so weird to be like we could just eat i still have that in me like when i'm at other people's houses you wait i i don't like i don't know like i don't know the right time to eat uh becca's uh family is big into uh prayer not prayer but saying grace and it's always like wait
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Get on the horn and make something happen. Show me your value.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Two mice fell in a bucket of cream. One of the mice drowned.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I just remembered I also had a dream last night that I shaved my face, and dude, I looked very bad.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Wow. Are you crying? No, but that's so weird. I just remember that, too. I was like, what the fuck?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
That was you. Frank, you probably still have this in your 32-year-old drawer. You probably still have that T-shirt in there.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Yeah, exactly. You added that little thing. Mirror, meet Frank, meet reflection. I don't know what I'm saying yet. But I tried to say... Mirror, meet Frank, meet reflection. Who are you?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Sometimes she wears outfits, and I'm like, this person looks like they're into bugs.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I'm done with this. I'm losing my mind, I think.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Did you ever work in retail to the point where you had to fold clothes?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Good, because if you were going to go through your resume, I was going to walk out of here. No, no, no, no, no.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
December 17th, 10 a.m. See you there. Welcome back to The Basement. Welcome back to the basement yard.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I don't mean to— Yo, I don't know how— Still to this day, I'm not good at folding long-sleeve t-shirts.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Yeah, I just, I don't do that. Yeah. You want to know how I fold them?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
So I take how you would fold a t-shirt, right?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Here! I just like, so this is the thing with the long sleeves.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
I've gone down deep rabbit holes of washing Asian women fold clothes before.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Yeah, and you would be that woman's worst nightmare.
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Oh my God. Do you think if we sent someone into your house to throw out like 10% of your stuff that you would make it out alive?
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
would not oh my god dude that would be so funny but see now you're like a like in hoarders when they like stop that stop that bitch no you're not as bad as them obviously there was a woman though that i saw who was obvious hoarding shit yeah yeah feces feces feces i think that's the multiple of feces one is a feces several is feces feces feci
The Basement Yard
#481 - The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had
Not to be confused with fetuses. There was none of those there. No one's having sex with a woman who's hoarding shit in her house. Human shit. You would be surprised. I would be shocked.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I want to cut it open and then I want to squeeze it and have it piss on me.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I saw something on the internet the other day. Hold on. Before I get into that, just to reiterate, we're going to do this multiple times. There's May 13th, which is tomorrow if you're watching this on YouTube. Presale starts tomorrow. At noon. I almost called it midnight. At noon. 12 p.m.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Thebasemanyard.com. The pre-sale code is basement. Be ready. This is a brand-new show. Okay, it's not the same show that you saw once before. It's a brand-new show. It is going to be so much fun. We are very excited. And just to go over the cities again, St.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Louis, Kansas City, San Diego, San Francisco, Atlantic City, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Chicago, Toronto, Detroit, Phoenix, Vegas, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Philly, South Florida, Orlando, Tampa, D.C., Boston, and, of course, New York.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
You guys could fall back on the name of the show. The name is The Basement. Sure. And also all the codes are basement.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
You know what I want to do? I want to go to one of those restaurants where they call you a bitch.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I didn't know where you were going with that. I was a little scared. Well, I didn't want to bury, you know, too far into the episode. We got to talk about this shit.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Oh, no. Didn't the guy was like, you ordered tea and the guy's like, that's gay.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
They were filming. I thought he called you gay two days in a row.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I would be nervous about going to a place like that with you because I feel like for the most part it would be fine but I think in a certain mood or a certain thing that someone said And once Frank starts going like, oh, okay, all right, then I'm going to be like, we got to leave now. Because this is going to turn to Frank being like, all right, I've had enough of this thing.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
He comes out hot. Yo, you know what's crazy? Yes. I don't know what it is about sunglasses.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
You see your teacher at the movies and you're like, you're not allowed to watch. Yes. What the hell?
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I don't like it. All right. I mean, I get what you're saying because maybe you're like, dude, the scrubs that you're wearing and the surgery, you're walking through Central Park with those on?
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Maybe it's just after work. It's like, oh, I'm off my shift. I'm going to walk to the bar, get a beer with some scrubs on.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
But you don't have something that, like, once you started wearing a pinky ring, did you start walking a little more?
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
annoying like it's hard to fold things really i've never had a weighted blanket so i can't i had one and like laying with it is great like it helps you like sleep and not move and shit but then when i'm up and i wake up it's like here's all right here's the thing
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Just circle around. That's what I'm talking about. I hate folding. throw blankets that are just short enough that when I put it on my body, I either have to decide between it being here and my toes being out, or my toes being out and my nipples being out.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
You're using your pinky a lot more. Yeah, like I just use my pinky more.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I love a good throw blanket, man. I love a blanket. You know what I like? Actually, I don't even know if I like them, but I like a part of them. You know the blankets that are knitted by old women? Quilts? No, those are different. Like a knitted blanket. I know. Like a crocheted blanket. A crocheted blanket, yeah. Sometimes I like having that and then I put my toes through the holes. I know.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I knew it. I knew you were going to do that. You put your toes through the holes and you're like, oh, I'm wearing this as a shoe. You flare your feet out. And then I wear the blanket like a sandal. It feels good, dude. I don't like that they have such a draft, but I do wear it.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Guys, we're going back on the road. Tickets, tickets. By the way, the tickets. Pre-sale starts tomorrow. Whoa. If you're watching this. Not if you're watching on Patreon. Oh, okay. Okay. Oh, God. May 13th. I mean, you know I can't read all the way over there. That's right. Not with these glasses on. Not with those glasses.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
If your credit isn't perfect, you can really feel like the system is stacked against you, but Kickoff is going to help you build your credit immediately for only $1 for your first month. Autopay helps you build credit while you sleep and never worry about missing a payment. You can sign up in minutes from your phone. There's no credit check you can cancel anytime.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
It has over 1 million users and hundreds of thousands of positive reviews. There's a reason why Kickoff is the number one credit builder on the App Store, okay? So if you've got bad credit, you want to build your credit back up, this is a good way to... Help you with it. Users with credit score under 600 grew an average of 84 points in their first year.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
With transparent affordable plans starting at just $5 a month, no hidden fees and zero interest, Kickoff helps you score big when it comes to credit. Okay, so start building credit with Kickoff today and you can get your first month for as little as $1. That is 80% off of the normal price when you go to getkickoff.com slash basement today. That's Kickoff without the C, by the way.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
So it's getkikoff.com slash basement, okay? You must sign up via getkickoff.com slash basement to activate the offer. Offer applies to new kickoff customers first month only. Subject to approval. Offer subject to change. Average first year credit score impact of 84 points between January 2023 and January 2024 for credit.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
uh for credit for kickoff credit account users who started with a score below 600 who paid on time and who had no delinquencies or collections added to their credit profile during the period late payments may negatively impact your credit score individual results may vary okay and we also have a squarespace squarespace is where you're going to be building your website okay it is a website that will help you
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
So market whatever product you have. If you have an e-commerce business or you make content or whatever the case is, if you need a website, I believe that everyone should be building a website with Squarespace. I've used other ones in the past. This one's the best. It's the one that we always use. So yeah, and that's, you know, our website is powered by Squarespace.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
They have templates that make it very easy for you to create a website, a professional-looking website, in a short amount of time. You just have to swap out the text and the photos and whatnot, and they also have a lot of tools to help you optimize your traffic, let you know where it's coming from, and how to help you market it and make sure everything is optimal.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
So right now you can head to squarespace.com slash basement, and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain using that code basement. So go to squarespace.com. You will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain when you're using that code BASEMENT.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
okay okay we need to stop being mean to aunt joey yeah yo the comments they were so on your side it's crazy i don't know what like they think that like i made a comment we're like abusive people no no no i was i was saying like they were i did see like it was like one or two comments that were like i don't really like the addition of ant and i said it in passing on an episode or you said it or something and then everyone came to your defense like i love ant
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Something like it's time to grow up. It's time to grow up. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Because, yeah, I think he was referencing your shirt, your hat, your shoes, and maybe your pants were all the same color.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
The forecast is frank. Here's the thing. It's not – you didn't put anything on.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
It does in Star Wars, I think. They talk a lot about power. Forceful? That's not a good word at all. That's not something I'm going to call myself ever.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
And I was like, all right, love is crazy. No, I love them too.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
But you have... Can I, like, funnel it into my car or is it just on me?
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
That's what I'm thinking. Well, I was going to say, like, I would take a piece of cloth. Oh, you know what I would do? Take my pants off. Oh. And then I would... Tie the bottom?
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
okay well how how many dimes can i hold let's do some i will shove some in my pockets duh i could probably get like close to 100 bucks in my pocket right how much well how much i don't know how much a dime weighs forget about how much a dime weighs i i dimes are small i can probably fit like 10 dimes is a dollar.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Let me tell you. I would probably take off my shirt and then try to, like, tie the holes of the thing and just shove mad time.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
They're light. Dude, you have to carry $5,000 worth of dimes. That's $50,000.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Who said I can't? Frank, you could fit $13 in your mouth. I would say we should try this.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
First of all, that's an exaggeration. You're not getting $1,000. All right.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I have no idea. Let's guess. $100 worth of dimes. So that's 1,000 dimes.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
It's not about the weight. It's just about how much I could fit in a pocket. You can't fit that many in a pocket. I could pick up all the dimes.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
No, I think that $100 worth of dimes probably weighs somewhere from 8 to 10 pounds.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
It's not about weight. It's about, like, first of all, you're just changing the rules as we go along. Now you have buckets.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
You got it down the leg? It doesn't matter. That helps. Dude, I could fit four bucks in there, maybe.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
And then if I could take my shoes off and carry my shoes, I could do that.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
It's rubber. You ever go to someone's house and they have all this change in a giant thing? Like, if you can move it, it's yours.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
So do you remember how like I'll think of something or I'll have a dream in the moment and then I'll write it down in my notes app? Yep. I wrote down this thing, and I don't know what time I wrote it, but it was like a middle of the night type of thing. Yep. And I wrote, newborn babies look like if you successfully shoved Elon Musk into a water bottle. Come on, Joey.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
We have choices of four, maybe. Dimes, quarters, nickels? Nickels, bro. Get the fuck out of here.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I don't. I can't. I can't go down it. I've watched the assassination frame by frame multiple times. The Zapruder film, as it's called. I have seen that. Ooh, and we drove by it.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Yeah. I don't think you were with us, to be honest with you.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Mama's home. Okay, here we go. ZocDoc, how you doing? Guys, if you want to find...
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Before they were sponsored on the show, I was using them anyway, so I'm very excited because I think it's cool. But it's a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment, okay?
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
and you put in what kind of doctor you want to see either you want to see a primary care physician a dermatologist or whatever it is and then they will show you the ones in your area the ones that are closest to you their next available appointments and their rating their patient review so if patients have a good experience with them they'll have a high rating i believe it's out of five um and then you can book your doctor's appointments okay i've used it multiple times okay i don't think i i at one point i'd never been into a dermatologist until i was like 20. so when i actually later than that i was like 25.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
But that's how I found dermatologist because I use ZocDoc. And yeah, so that's what it's used for. So it's great. But yeah, so you can get a same, sometimes you can score same day appointments. They have appointments usually within 24 to 72 hours.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
So quick turnarounds like that, but stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash basement to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That is Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash basement. Okay. Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash basement. Go get your doctor's appointments. And lastly here, we have liquid IV, okay? Liquid IV, have them all the time.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I've been running a lot lately, and sometimes I'm really bad with drinking water because we're recording or doing whatever. So after work, if I go for a run and I get back and I'm like, I need to replenish, okay? I'm doing a liquid IV.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
You put it in a glass of water. You shake it up. They taste amazing. Right now, I'm running through the lemon lime pack, but they have essential B vitamins, B3, B5, B6, B12, excellent source of vitamin C. On-the-go hydration, okay?
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
That's what I said. I will be honest with you, right? So I went a lot of my life seeing newborn babies and being like – Let's give it a second before we – with the cute comments, you know, because, like, they just got out here.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
And I'll drink it while I'm on the run. But it's great. It'll keep you hydrated. And they also taste amazing, honestly. Tastes like candy.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
But you can get ready for the summer with Extraordinary Hydration from Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use the code BASEMENT at checkout. Liquidiv.com. Use the code basement at checkout and you will get 20% off of your first order. Okay. Enjoy.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Okay. So we got Frank's hair. Don't hate that. Frank's hair and hairline. Frank's ears. Frank's bottom lip.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I don't know, honestly. I caught myself in the mirror, and I got him.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I was like walking by and have a mirror like this. And I looked and I was like, do I have back dimples?
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
But no, there was one where it's like there's a sandwich and it's wrapped up in aluminum foil and there's a bone sticking out.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
This is a great question. It's not like building a bomb. Like, that clearly is... I mean, I think... We're fucking demonetizing shit now. Yeah. After me saying that. But, like, if... If, like, that I know is illegal.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
What? We both don't know that. I have fantastic aim, Frank.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I can tell you this. I can tell you that my own nieces and nephews, I've seen some pictures, and I was like, whew.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
That's insane! Holy shit, that's crazy. There you go, folks. Mine was probably horrendous.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
What are those numbers? Yeah, they take Italian or language and you get extra credit.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
But like every science besides earth science rocks. Yeah. You know what I mean? Chemistry and bio my first year. Did you guys do that too? Yep. Yeah, absolutely. Like my teacher did me a favor by not putting me in summer school.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
When I came to your school that one time, you're like the mayor, dude. That was the thing.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I think that's what the... Well, no, spunk is like a mojo or something.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
May 13th, pre-sale code basement at TheBasementYard.com. You can get all the tickets.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Kansas City is going to be around there, too. Possibly the 27th, I would say. San Diego, July 10th and 11th. San Francisco, July 12th. Atlantic City, July 18th. Minneapolis, July 24th. Milwaukee, July 25th. Chicago, July 26th. Toronto, August 9th. Detroit, August 9th. Phoenix, August 28th. Vegas, Labor Day weekend. Columbus. September 18th, Pittsburgh. September 20th, Philly on September 27th.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
South Florida, October 16th. Orlando, October 17th. Tampa, October 19th. D.C., October 23rd. Boston, November 6th. And New York City, November 13th. Okay, again, May 13th. Pre-sale code is basement at TheBasementYard.com. General sale, which just means that you don't need codes at that point, will be May 16th, also at TheBasementYard.com. Come out to the shows.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Like I said, it's going to be a brand new show. It's a lot of fun. We, like, workshopped some stuff over in the UK, and we're very excited about where the show is and bringing it back to the States. So hopefully we see you guys out there. We're really excited, and thank you for all the support.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Wait, if I would, I got to think you're... Tell me my newborn daughters were just as beautiful.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I can't. Handsome? Sure. Yeah. Now I just feel like a grandma with a handsome.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Oh, there we go. Okay. I thought I deleted everything. Listen, we're going back on the road. Tickets are on sale. pre-sale tomorrow with the code basement at the basement.com as always. Okay. So May 13th pre-sale, uh, we'll start, I believe at 10 AM, but didn't ask that question. Let me type that to Greg real quick.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Yeah. Okay, so St. Louis, June 28th, we'll be in St. Louis. Kansas City, we had a date lined up, and then I think the venue exploded, something like that. The HVAC doesn't work, God knows what, but we're trying to figure out a date then. Most likely it will be June 27th. But by the time you see this, the website will be updated.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
So even right now, as you're listening to this, you can go to TheBasementYard.com. You will see the dates there. But Kansas City, we will be there. San Diego, okay, July 10th.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
and 11th we will be in san diego uh that's in california yeah correct uh and then on the 12th we will be in san francisco francisco it's a fun word to say it is a fun word to say then we will be in atlantic city in new jersey frank's backyard legitimately yeah well i live a little a little while away from there but backyard is atlantic city yeah And that will be on July 28th.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Then we're going to Minneapolis. Never been there. Been there? No been there? Been there? I connected. About to go.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Not only that, but then on July 26th, we are going to get some hot dogs in Chicago. Coming back to Chicago.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Then... Detroit. Detroit what? We're going back to Detroit. August. You got to be real careful. August 9th. Okay, we're going back to Detroit.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
That's how I remember it. It's going to be 115 horse degrees out there.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Labor Day weekend. We're going to be in Vegas. Vegas. We're going to be there. Unsure of the date, but it'll be Friday, Saturday, Sunday, somewhere around there. Still figuring that out. But Labor Day weekend, we'll be in Vegas. Then Columbus, Ohio. Ohio. We are going to be there September 18th.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Round three for Pittsburgh. Hopefully we can go to a game. I don't know if they're there or not.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Then South Florida, October 16th. We'll be there, okay? We're going to go to the Hard Rock. Then Orlando, October 17th. Tampa, October 19th. Then we're going back to DC October 23rd. We're going to Boston on November 6th. And then we're ending the tour once again in New York city on November 13th. Okay. So we got a bunch of shows now, uh, for the rest of the year.
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
Okay, pre-sale and general on sale. Like I said, pre-sale May 13th with the code basement at TheBasementYard.com. General sale, which means you don't need a code. TheBasementYard.com on May 16th, okay?
The Basement Yard
#502 - THE NEW TOUR DATES
I hope that you have it, and then you'll see. You know what?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. Oh, oh, oh, ooh, ooh. You know how I'm triggered by pointing, so cut it the fuck out. This is the new studio, so you're looking at it now. It's very lovely. Frank, nice little Power Ranger you got there.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
30 seconds must have felt like four minutes. I was like... He hasn't even been back there long, so I can't imagine there's anything too crazy going on. But she's like, I just wanted to let you know that we're very big Basement Yard fans. And I was like, this fucking girl just scared the shit out of me. Oh, see, they should have ran with it. They should have ran with it. Bro.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
If I was her, I'm telling you, your dog has something crazy on him. It's like, pranked, you've been pranked. Right. I'm a big Basement Yard fan. That's why you're not a doctor. Um, can you imagine this kid has a doctor? It's like, yo, your son died. It's like, what? Nah, he has a fever. Did you ever see, did you ever see, uh, oh, you've never seen Arrested Development.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
And have you seen Arrested Development? I have not. The doctor that they consistently run into that just like uses double entendres and they're all like, we don't know what the fuck this guy's trying to say. And they're like, well, I have some bad news. He's going to be all right. And I'm like, how's that bad news? He's like, because the left side of his body is all paralyzed.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
He's going to be all right. So she tells me they're big basement yard fans, and they're going to give me $500 off. I was like, what? You better. Insane. The name of this place? You better promote this shit like it's crack. It was the Long City Bond Vet. Shout out to them. Good for you. So then I'm like, okay, cool. Some sort of thing that worked out today. Take Charlie home.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
This is where it gets interesting. Get him in the car. They give me all the pills and shit. I drive there. And then as soon as I get out of my car, he walks over to the first tree that he sees, lifts his leg like he's going to pee, and starts firing out yellow diarrhea. Right? No pee. Can I ask you a serious question? I'm not done. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
As the stream gets less and less, now he's just shitting on his own leg. The one that's in the ground. Ew! So he's shitting on his leg, and I'm like, bro, this is so fucking disgusting, right? Yes? You picked the episode where there's food in front of us, enticing food, may I add, that I'm not allowed to eat, apparently, according to you, to tell this story? Yeah. Okay, go ahead.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
So it came out like Play-Doh. But it looks good. It is wet. I'm excited, though. Can I get some of the... It's a proper brunch episode, ladies and gentlemen. It is. You know, the boys like to do brunch one way, and that's... Oh my god, this chicken looks amazing. Out of control. And the hot sauce, too. And the hottie sauce. This guy, he knows what he's doing. He does know what he's doing.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I'm trying to find the right time. Just don't eat it here. Okay. Fucking guy. All right. So. No, no, no. No fork and knife. Look, I'm clanging and banging. Look, I'm not clanging or banging. I'm doing this. There's no banging of clangs. I'm just, I'm like removing the meat. By the way, this is good looking chicken. Where'd we get this from? Sweet chick. Oh, never had it.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Isn't that the place that Nas partially owned? Yeah. That's cool. Nas, come on the show. That would be extremely strange if Nas came on this show. That would be cool though. We'll all wait. We'll wait for you. No, no, no. Onward. I'm not clanging or banging. So he's got shit all over his leg. So we go into the elevator. And there's a woman who gets in the elevator.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I'm like, this is my worst nightmare now. Because the woman, what did you do? Are you throwing up? What's going on? I'm trying not to have the sound of my chewing in the mic. Great. So we get into the elevator, and the woman who gets in, she's like, oh, he's so cute. And I'm like, this woman only knew, right? Because his face turned around. Oh, he smells like shit in the elevator.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Bro, the most dog shit you've ever smelled in your life. Yo, she literally keeps checking her shoes. She thinks it's you. No, she thinks she stepped in dog shit. She keeps checking her shoes. She's getting off on like the 16th floor. And I'm like, get this woman out of here. So she's like checking her shoes like twice. She checked them. And I was like, nope, not the dog shoes. Not the dog shoes.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Not dog shit. It's my dog's leg. It's your dog's leg. Yeah. So then I have to put them in the tub. I put him in the tub. This is fucking disgusting. I put on gloves. This is so gross. I put on gloves. I hope that you're not going in. Did you at least take your clothes off? I took my shirt off. So you're shirtless with gloves washing your dog.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
There is a whole sect of the internet that is just fucking horny right now. Which one? What porno is that? I don't know. You tell me, King Porno. I'm not King Porno. You're King Porno. You just got horny. You're like, oh, shirt off, wash it off. You think I got horny for you, bitch? You think I got horny for you, bitch? You wish, bitch.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
You wanna know why? Because I'm straight, bitch. Oh, dude, I'm telling you, if you were to post a picture with your, with yellow, you were using Dexter's mom's gloves, right? Oh, no, they were white. They weren't long. They were just hands. Oh, so it was just like doctor, like doctor. Oh, wait, wait, you have cloth gloves? They were latex. Or like nitrite or whatever it's called. Nitrite.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
He knows what he's doing. He's doing stuff. Although... Thank you so much. One syrup? What am I... What are we doing? Rationing? Yeah. What are we... It's tough out there, Joey. I don't know. The trees, the trees. You know what I've always wanted to eat? I don't know. Rations. Should we do a ration episode? A ration episode? You know how they have, like, canned something?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Is that what it's called? Nitrile? Nitrite? Napalm. No, no, I don't know. They were just white gloves. They were like, they were like latex. All right. And I was like washing them. So some of it got in his tail, right? And the reason why I know that... You had to jerk off his tail. I'm so glad someone else is here now to laugh at me. Because, like, how else would you clean a tail, brother?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I mean, yeah, you got to, like... You have to jerk it. So I start jerking his tail. Here we go. Now we're talking. How are you, were you standing next to him or over him? He's in the tub, and I'm like kneeling next to the tub, so I'm like washing him. Gotcha. And the dude hits a shake. He shakes shit in your face. He didn't shake shit in my face, but he definitely shakes shit on my chest.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
He shaked, and there was a streak of diarrhea. From nipple to nipple. And I literally was just like... Move over. I hate today! I think I actually yelled that. I hate today! And it was just like... I was like, bro! I would pay thousands of dollars. You should have seen me. Thousands of dollars to have been a fly on the wall for that. You know the... I have those loofahs that are like a ball.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one that look like... You know, like they're like... It's like lettuce. Twilly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I almost took my chest off with this in the shower. Just... Yeah, I had diarrhea on my chest. Connected my nipples. That is bad. And that's kind of how it ended. I mean, he's still sick right now. He's better, though.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I mean, this would be a really not fun story if at the end of it he, like, died. No, no, no. I just got a text from the vet today, and he said, like, his blood work is normal. Okay. He may have just eaten something that, like, I don't fucking know. Oh, I did give him a hemp chew the day before this happened, so maybe. A what? It's like CBD. You're giving your dog drugs. It's not drugs.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Like, it's for anxiety. I don't know about that. It sounds like you're... I mean, whatever. It's not blowing meth in his face. It's fucking CBD. I love how your dog has anxiety. I wonder why. He just let go of his entire fucking week's worth of food on himself. He's a very sensitive and cuddly guy. You know, they do say that dogs take the personality of their owners, their handlers.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I don't know what the proper term is. I don't want to offend any dog. I mean, I don't have separation anxiety, but I definitely like to cuddle and get close. I have a question. Okay. So you know how there are people out there that like to dress up as dogs and be on leashes and shit like that? Furries, yeah. Are they furries or are they dog people? No, they're furries. They're furries.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
But furries is different because furries are like- There's a very sect where they're just dogs. I'm not talking furries because furries are in mascot costumes. They're in big helmets. Those are expensive too. I would imagine. Yeah. But I'm talking the people that wear the ears and the face thing. And they hop over fences. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
The person that is in control of them, how does that, what do they call them? Like, are they in a relationship? Oh, like a master dog? Yeah. Like, is that what it is? I think they're the master. You're my dog-dom. Dummy dog. Type in dog play. Is it dog play? You want me to type in dog play? Oh, God, this is my computer. Dog playing. That's just a dog. That's like a playpen. That's a dog playpen.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
From, like, canned peaches from the 50s or something? Yeah, like, I'd like to get my hands on some war food. You know what I mean? You gotta be careful, man. Some of that stuff... I mean, I think canned, like, old-timey, like, survival food is different than, like, rations. Like, rations you'll get, like, it'll be like buffalo chicken, but it's, like, pressed into a cake. That's what I mean.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Humans are dogs. Humans are dogs, and they play. Put in, uh, dog... Humans when humans... Human wearing a leather dog face. Human wearing leather dog stuff. Wearing... Leather dog faces.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Yes, leather dog mask. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Boom. Boom. Leather puppy. Oh, it's pup play. Pup play. Puppyhood. It's not dog. It's pup. They're all puppies. They're young. Pup play. What color would you- Whoa, go to that one. That one looks cool. That looks like it's straight out of- Oh my God. You would love that. It looks like a Power Ranger. Honestly- Click on that one. Click on that one.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
They got the Puppy Avengers! That's the Puppy Queen! Oh my god. They're about to sing Puppy Bohemian Rhapsody. Which one is the coolest? Go. Honestly, it's... I think the red or the yellow. The red one. I mean, the guy has the... The blue one is clearly the leader, though. Clearly. I don't know. Whoa, dude. That looks like if it was, like, a Proud Boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
They'd wear that, and then they'd post something that's like, Defend... Oh, shit. These are cool, though. They are pretty cool. Damn, should we get some? No. Okay. Yeah, actually, honestly. I'm down. There's a company. What is this? MRS Leather. Hey, make custom ones for the basement yard. I think it's Mr. S Leather. Ah, that might be it. Let's see. You could make a custom one.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Please select a mask feature. Is that what that says? There's one review. Oh, what is it? What is it? Whoa, this is a long one. It's too long. I'm going to read it. All right. So they're reviewing the neoprene canine hood. Mr. S. Leather has been the name and quality kink gear for my personal journey, and their hoods are, in short, my gateway to home. Okay, good.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Hey, we're not kink shaming here, baby. At all. At all. I will say, have you ever walked around on your hands and feet like a dog in your life? Of course you have. I love it, dude. I think it's fun. Going up the stairs is peak. Exactly. Going up the stairs as a human sucks. Going up the stairs as an animal, really cool. Really cool.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
But have you ever tried to go down the stairs on your hands and feet? I'll try it tonight. I'll let you know how it goes. I'll create my will and testament first. We need to find a new fucking co-host here. And we also have ads. He was sitting there waving. Do the ads! I get excited, dude. I get excited. But we do have some ads for today. Okay?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I'm going to have to type in my password here that I don't remember for some reason. Okay, the first one we have here is BetterHelp. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, which is online therapy. He's using this opportunity to eat. I'm trying to go really quiet, too. You heard no clanging or banging. BetterHelp is online therapy.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
If you want to dip your toe into the world of therapy, you can do so with BetterHelp. You can talk to a therapist in just under 48 hours. I've been in therapy for years. I think it's very beneficial. I think that everyone should be in it. But, yeah, and also it's just not for people who you think you have some, like, big traumatic thing that you have to get through or whatever.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
That's what I want to try. You want to do that? I think we can get rations. What are they called? MREs? Is that what they're called? Are you asking me? You seem to know a lot. And also, in your spare time, you and your boys eat a lot of shit. So I imagine you would know what a ration is. Yeah, I don't know. Frank, cheers? This smells delicious. We're not going to make it, dude.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Like, even if you feel like you don't have anything, like, any pressing matters or whatever, therapy is very helpful to help you with, like, decisions that you'll be making in the future or just better understanding yourself. At least in my opinion, I think it's very useful in that way. For anyone that would like to start doing therapy, you can do so with BetterHelp.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Go to betterhelp.com slash basementyard today, and you will get 10% off of your first month, okay? That is spelled B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash basementyard right now for that 10% off of your first month. And like I said, I've been in therapy for years now, and I think it's very beneficial, so shout out to BetterHelp. We also have FitBod.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
FitBod, it creates a personalized workout routine based on your goals, fitness level, and your experience. It can be very educational because they have over 1,000 demonstration videos. So even if you've never started your fitness journey or you don't know anything about fitness, you can learn a lot from these demonstration videos. You can also do it in the privacy of your own home.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
If you don't have access to a gym or you don't have any equipment or anything, they can still create a personalized workout routine that's body weight or if it's just dumbbells. or if you have full access to a gym, they also can create a workout routine for that. And they also track your muscle recovery so you can avoid burnout.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
So, yeah, it's like having a personal trainer but better, and you can do it, you know, whenever you want. And you can save 25% off of your subscription, or you can try the app for free for seven days at fitbod.me slash basement. That's F-I-T-B-O-D dot M-E slash basement. Okay, so go to fitbod.me slash basement right now, get that 25% off your subscription, or try the app for free. Enjoy.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Yeah, and listen, if you want company along the way in whatever journey you're taking this year, why don't you bring The Basement Yard, baby? Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard brings more of us directly into the palm of your hands or on your TV, however you consume The Basement Yard.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
So go to Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard and you sign up for that first year, you get these weekly episodes one whole week. That's right, seven whole days in advance. And then every single Friday you get exclusive episodes. Just for you and the other patrons that you can check out. So you start and end your week with The Basement Yard. Thank you so much.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
The reason we're in this new studio really is because of all of your support, especially the patrons. So we thank you guys. If you're able to take the Patreon journey with us, we welcome it. Also, we have two upcoming shows. We have the shows in Vancouver at the Judgment Labs. What the hell was that? I didn't even mean to make that sound.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
At the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival, and then we're doing the shows over in Europe. Let's make sure we specify Europe. Go to thebassbandyard.com slash submit. Let us know what shows you're coming to and submit questions, you know, answers to the responses that we have in there. We did it last year during the shows. We have prompts. They have the responses. Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
You know, we did it last year during the shows. They were really fun. People enjoyed them, and we liked interacting with people. It was a highlight for us, too. So go check it out. TheBasementYard.com slash submit if you're coming to those shows, and we'll see you there. All right. Lovely. That's beautiful. What? You wanted the other hot dog, right? Me? Yeah. Oh, alright, well you're here.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
So for people that watch the Patreon episode, they know that it was up for debate what I was going to be allowed to put up here because you- Yeah. You brought a lot of toys. I did. Mostly toys. Yeah. But some stuff made it. So I think it's well representative of me and well representative of... Hot sauce! Yeah, today you guys can go get this Bloody Mary hot sauce, okay?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Are you throwing a hot dog? The bun came out! There's a bite taken out! You took a bite of it and you gave it to me? You freak! And the bun! First of all, there are rules. I did, I texted him. No, I meant, you said throw me a hot dog. No, I didn't! I said Joey wants the other hot dog to eat. Can you bring it to him? Greg, you can hear me. I've never seen that!
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
We're not long enough. Come on! Yeah. Come on, cheers, brother. Cheers. And this has the hot sauce in it, right? Cheers, big ears. Yes, the hot sauce is in here. We made it with the Bloody Mary hot sauce. All right, here we go. Oh, oh, oh. That's not bad, dude. That's good. That's good. Right amount of spice with the hot sauce. Yo, that's actually good. Right amount of spice with the hot sauce?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
But also, like, you know that this bite that he took out of it, he was so upset by it, he was just like, This is my cheat. I shouldn't have done that. This is my cheat. I really shouldn't have done that. And he did it, and he was like, He's like, ooh. It's not cheese, so he'll eat it. I am pretty, I'm not even lying, I wanted that hot dog, so. Crush it.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
If you didn't want it, well, no, the bun's on the floor now! Eat as much of that hot dog as you can in one bite. I'm not doing this, Joey. In one bite. There are some, don't do it sideways, do it this way. There are some sneaky, that's way worse! There are some sneaky people on TikTok that'll be able to get videos of that, clips of that very quick, and it'll end up all over the sites.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I'm sure as you have sites that talk about your fucking sick feet, there are sites that talk about people that deep throat stuff. I'm not doing it. Nice try, America. Did I tell you that one time someone tried to get me to sell my fart to them? Or sounds of my fart. Yeah. Like a recording of my fart. Yeah, that happened to me too. I should have done that. That happened to me. Someone messaged me.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Remember their name? Their name was Fart Slave Frankie. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Fart Slave Frankie. Oh, I thought it was like Fart Slut. Close enough. Yeah, same thing. But they wanted my farts. I have too much pride to record my farts and sell them. I don't. I just will for the right price. I will sell a recording of my fart. So I think we talked about this a while ago. Has your price changed?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Has it gone up? On my fart? Yeah. You have more valuable farts than you did three years ago? If someone was willing to offer you, like, yo, next time you fart, take a video of it and just send it to me and I'll send you X, how much would that have to be? Per fart? One sitting of fart. Am I paying taxes on the money? No, it's cash. It's not cash. It's a Zelle.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Who do you think you are? Queen Elizabeth? Bitch, you have to set your standard high to make your farts more appealing. Yeah, Frank, you're not selling it to me. I'm just saying this is business 101. We need to get Jordan Belfort over there of farting. I mean, if you're going to ask me. Sell me this fart. Sell me this fart.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I think if you want to make, my farts are only going to have more value if I put them at a higher value. Think about it. Where are you going to settle, though? I would settle on $350,000. you know Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
It's actually good. It's actually good. Also, I'm going to say this. I made it. Yeah. I made the drink. It's not bad. So maybe all the ones that I've had in my life that I've hated, you're already on the hot dog. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. Frankie, you are the most disgusting piece of bastard I've ever seen in my life. That's good. You're dipping a hot dog in the Bloody Mary? I mean, we're in Rome.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
We're not in Rome. We aren't anywhere close to Rome. We're close to the room. I'm gonna put my syrup on. In some other places. That's correct. This is good. Can you get me one of the... Actually, I don't need it. Here we go.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
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The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
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The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Is it bad? Is it miserable? There are people on the internet that love this shit. Yeah. People that have, like, big, fat crab legs and they're like... Yeah, dude. I have a theory. Not a theory, but like... You've thought enough to establish a theory for mukbang? No, so like when it comes to food mukbangs, there's like very specific ones that each race does. Frank, what the fuck are you doing?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
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The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
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The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
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The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
These are brand new desks. Frank has already gotten salt, pepper, and a tube of hot dog all over it. I've already wanted... Are you performing surgery over there, sir? Oh my god, this is disgusting. I've always wanted to try this, ever since I saw that Asian guy doing it at a baseball game. He's using the hot dog as a straw, aren't you? Oh, I broke it. I need to play it like a flute.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
You fucked it up. Or, or, or, or. I just turned to a seal. Oh. I almost went back. Olivia. Olive. Bro, her name was Olive. Olive what? Branch. Olive. Olive oil. There it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. That took you too long, dude. I honestly didn't know her name at the beginning of that. Yeah. You know, that was my nickname as a baby. Olive oil? Popeye. Why? What's so funny about that? Look at you.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
You don't look like Popeye. As a baby, I would always do that face. Oh, okay, yeah. And smoke cigars. Right. And I had massive tumors on my forearm. And I had a tattoo of an anchor. Why? He's a sailor, bro. Was that a thing that sailors were like, I love being a sailor so much, I'm going to tattoo it on me? You know how the basic girl tattoo is like a dream catcher? Dream catcher, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Butterflies. Butterflies. For men. It's names and numbers. It's Roman numerals. Yeah. Crosses this. Oh, no, the worst one I've ever seen is I knew someone that had their first and last name, like one on each arm. That is bananas. That is the worst one. Having your own last name across the top of your back? Bro. I'm trying to think if we know anyone that has that.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I mean, I think a lot of people have that. Bro, did you ever see... We should just make this a back tattoo talk. Did you ever see Hulk Hogan's back tattoo? One of the worst I've ever seen. Is it worse than Ben Affleck's? It's in different ways worse. I've never seen his tattoo. Look at this piece of shit tattoo. What does that say? It says immortal. Immortal? That is so bad.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Well, his name was the immortal. First of all, his back looks like someone's spreading their asshole open. Doesn't it? This poor guy, babe. That looks like a bunghole, dude. Babe, babe, this poor guy's had like two dozen back surgeries. Poor guy. Yeah, well, actually, yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously, there's some. Yeah, no, that's bananas. That's bananas. Now bring up, go do Ben Affleck's.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I like Ben Affleck. I like Ben Affleck, too. I love the account. That back tattoo is amazing. It's a bad one. It's a bad one. I think because it's just like, I think in theory it wouldn't be that bad, but just like on him. What the hell are we doing? Of all places, like that's just such a bad. It's just. Like that is cool if it was not on his whole back. That would be cool on a playing card.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
How do you feel about like character tattoos? Like people that get like sleeves that are like Pokemon or something like that. I think old sleeves look cool. If it's like... Look, it's like Josh. Josh has sleeves of different horror characters. I think that's pretty cool. Yeah. I mean, it is a little strange that he has It the Clown. Does he? Yeah, he got Pennywise on it. I'm sure it looks great.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
It does. It does look good. He's going to be pissed when he sees it. He's going to be like, fuck the buppa. No, but this is kind of like... It's just, it's so out of nowhere. It's, yeah. It's just, like, that's the thing. If he was, like, openly just, like, love talking about phoenixes, I would get it. That just looks like a Moltres. No, he wishes it was a Moltres. Oh, here we go.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Some deep cut Pokemon. Go ahead. Who is it? No, I'm not going to say any Pokemon. But I'm saying, like, there's a lot of blue on there. Like, if it was a Moltres, yeah, we got to see some of these. Oh, no, no. I'm not going down here. Jesus Christ. Um, yeah, no, that was, uh, that was a bad one. You ever see Steve-O tattooed a penis on his face? Yeah, he got a penis coming into his eye.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Or pissing, I don't know what it is. I'm sure it's come, but where? It's up here? Yeah. Piss coming in his eye? You didn't see? We're on main YouTube. We're on main YouTube! Well, he goes on main YouTube, he has his own show, I'm sure he's okay. Yeah, but he probably covers the come-eye or whatever. I don't know. We have sponsors, by the way. Oh, we're going right to the sponsors.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
He's sucking the hell out of that. Did it work? Yeah. It's good? It's pretty good. Ugh. No? Bad? All right. I'm sorry. It looks gross. And there are a lot of people that are watching this that are like, I'm tuning out already. Yeah. It's all right. But we're here. We're live. We're large. The boys, when we do brunch, we have one speed. And that's, let's do this. Let's... And that's, let's do this.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
We do have sponsors. You haven't even touched your chicken, bitch. Well, you know, I'm considerate, I think. We have PrizePix, okay? PrizePix is the best place to get real money sports action. 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winnings, okay? People are making money doing this. And you can now win up to 1,000 times your money on PrizePix. It's really easy to understand, okay?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
A lot of the other games that you could play and do this type of stuff with, you have to know stuff about the game, this and that. This is a lot easier, okay? All you have to do is pick more or less than the projections, okay? So you're not battling against anybody else except these projections. So we're still in the playoffs. I mean, we're going to the Super Bowl here.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
But in the Super Bowl, you can do prize picks more or less, like I said. Or, you know, it's not just football also. It's for the NBA. It's for, you know, any sport you can think of. Basketball, football, baseball, hockey, whatever it is, you can do this with. But it's more or less.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
So you put in a couple of entries, and you do more or less, and then you – Ann is crawling on the ground right now, and that kind of scared me. It's been on the ground for five minutes already. But you guys can do that, and right now, you can sign up today. Download the app and use the code BASEMENT. You'll get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup, okay?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
So if you want to have some fun, make some money, like I said, you can win up to 1,000 times your money with just picking more or less of these projections. You download the app today and use the code BASEMENT to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup, okay? Prize picks. Run your game. And lastly here, we have Factor.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
If you're ready to optimize your nutrition this year, you want to go on the right foot here, you can do so at Factor. It has chef-made gourmet meals that make eating well easy. Because they're dietitian approved. They're ready to eat in two minutes. You just heat it up when you get it. But it arrives to your door fully prepared, perfect for any active or busy lifestyle.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
But, yeah, you can pick from protein plus, keto, calorie smart, or, like, you know, whatever your preference is for the type of meals you want to eat. It can also help you feel your best all day long with wholesome smoothies, breakfasts, grab-and-go snacks, and more add-ons. But, yeah, you can eat smart with Factor. Get started at factormeals.com slash basement50off and use the code basement50off.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
to get 50% off of your first box plus free shipping. That is code BASEMENT50OFF at factormeals.com slash BASEMENT50OFF to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. So easy way to get your meals in, get them delivered, heat them up, boom, and get that little 50 off, okay? There you go. Such a shame. Such a shame. What's a shame? What Greg did. By the way, wait a sec.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Greg took a bite of this hot dog sans bun. So he took a bite of the hot dog outside of the bun. He got no bun in his bite. That seems wrong, right? Am I wrong? That rhymed. No bun in his bite, right? I don't like that. No, I don't need a bun all the time. Hum? Like, I could eat a hot dog. Like, cut up hot dog. Buns make the dog better, though. We agree. Yeah. Don't, yeah, like that. Yes.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Yeah, with confidence. Yeah. That also wasn't confident. No, I mean, like, yeah, the first one. How's your chicken tendy? I haven't had one. Try it. Well, at this point, it's just been sitting out, and now I'm like. What's going to happen, Joey? Nothing. I just, like, it's not as appetizing to me. Take a bite. I think it's more for show. Mm-mm. Take a bite. Now. I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
It's pretty good. I haven't been to a lunch... I haven't been to brunch in a very long time. Oh, fell in again. What time do you think brunch is? Well... Give me a range. When's it start? I say 10 to 2. Yeah, because like... How hard is that Bloody Mary Hinton? 10 o'clock in the morning, you think I'm going to brunch? I don't know if you... What's the earliest you've drank?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
You think I'm like one of your children or something? What's going on over there? That doesn't work on them. I'm hoping it works on you. You're not going to take a bite at all? No. I love celery. Was it you who said celery was delicious? Yeah, I love celery. Yeah. You don't like celery? Or did you say it was spicy? Mm-mm. This is you trying to gaslight me. I never said it was spicy.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I said it has a spice to it. That's why celery- You're a manipulator. No, I'm not! Did anyone just hear that? No! No, no, no, bitch. Go. Because two things can mean two different things. Two things can mean two different things. Yes! Two things can mean the same thing. Two things can mean two different things. Go. Something that is spicy also has a spice to it.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Something that has a spice to it does not necessarily need to be spicy. Frogs and toads, baby. Frogs and toads. Why do you think celery seed or celery salt is a spice that you can use while cooking? Because there is a distinct spice, like a flavor to it. A flavor. A flavor. A spi- but it's more than a flavor. A flavor is flavor. Spice is spice.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Yeah, but all spices are just flavor enhancers or flavor additives. Spicy is spice. No, because technically garlic is a spice. It's spicy. What? If you bit a garlic clove, you'd be like... If you go in the spices aisle, you'll find things that are not spicy that are, you know, like oregano. Is cinnamon a spice? Technically, yes, it is. Yeah. So there you go! It has a spice to it. It does!
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Celery has a flavor and spice to it. That doesn't mean it is spicy. But what is the spice? Like, what do you describe? Just like a- like a peaked- like, it has like a peak of- of flavor. Like there's something- But what's the difference? But it comes to a peak. Like it comes to like more of a sharp edge than like a duller flavor. Does that make sense? A sp- so a spicy taste? No. It's not spicy.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Spicy is also subjective, you bitch. So, like, what is spicy to me may not be spicy to you. Right. Are you good with spice? I'm very good with spice, yeah. Really? Yeah. You think you're better at spice than me? Without a doubt. Really? Without a doubt. Oh, are you an atomic wing guy? I used to, yeah. But you don't anymore?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Anytime we would go, this is going to be, you can immediately pick apart this argument. But like, anytime when we were kids, we would go to Hooters, which we did pretty often. I wouldn't say that. We went like a couple times a summer. Frank, I feel like I've been to Hooters maybe four times in my entire life. Might have all been in the same summer. I've been at least a dozen times to Hooters.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
That's insane. No, it's not, is it? You went for the waitresses? Not half of those times. No, no. Honestly, no. My fraternity also did an event at Hooters. Oh, you and the frat bros going to Hooters. I'm sure it wasn't about the tats. It wasn't. It was during recruitment week. We were trying to show off that we had free... Show up for all-you-can-eat wings. We're paying for it at Hooters.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Who doesn't want to join that fraternity? Wait, do they have all-you-can-eat wings? I don't know if they still do, honestly. Do other countries do all-you-can-eat? Because that, to me, sounds like bananas. It is the most American thing on the planet. Like, pay a flat rate and just get all of the food, all of it, as much as all of it.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Unlimited fucking... Let's see, Brazil... Fettuccine Alfredo? Yes, other countries have all-you-can-eat buffets, including Brazil, Hong Kong, and Japan. Okay. Buffets are different. I'm saying, yeah, like, at restaurant specials, like, do they have, like, Tuesday is all-you-can-eat wing night? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm sure they do. If they have buffets, like, why would they stop at buffets?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I guess. I haven't really been to many buffets. Man, when's the last time I went to a buffet? I went to King China Buffet. That was like the place to go when we were kids. They had a koi pond in the front. It was so cool. I used to throw quarters in there. I didn't realize that I was killing the kois. You absolutely were. Absolutely was hurting the kois.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
And that was like the place that like for like fifth grade graduation, like all the people went there after fifth grade graduation. Mine was Neptune Diner. I would go there, get giant pancakes. And then on the way out, they had a little bowl of mints and I would eat all of them. I love sucking those mints. I love sucking those mints. They have a little jelly in them. They do. And they're dusty.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I think we've done this together. We've drank at like 8 a.m. Yeah, when we were like fucking 17. It was sick, right? Wrong, 21. Yeah. Yeah, I don't see anything wrong with it. But like a morning drink, maybe it was the potential of alcoholism at the time. I think so. That hits way harder than an afternoon drink. My Irish roots were really coming through. Yeah, they were present and available.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Yeah, that was crazy. That was wild. That's insane, dude. Yeah, that was wild. Crazy. Yeah, but they do have like a little jelly. You sucked them until the jelly came out on them. Yeah, well, I would bite them. Oh, dangerous. No, no, no. They weren't hard. They were like the dusty ones. So you like the salty, oh, like softer ones that you could bite to remove the jelly. But you know what I mean?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
We're just abusing our ability. I wonder if it'll show up. Do people know what they are? Boom! Yeah, no, I remember those, baby. Dusty Diner Mints. Get a couple bags of those bad boys. By the way, for those of you guys that weren't on Patreon, Ant is now our guy in the chair. I forgot about that. Yeah, Ant is our guy in the chair who is now doing whatever we ask him to do, basically. And thank you.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Black tar heroin. Why do you have, like, you're on a first name basis with black tar heroin that you just give it a nickname? Yeah. No. But, dude. Those are so good. A dusty old diner is so sick. I love it so much. I really do. The purple ones of those, you see how they're filled with the jelly? The green ones are the best, brother. Green are good. I like the red ones and the green ones.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I mean, the orange ones and the... If you ever handed me a yellow one, I'll tell you right now, I'm throwing it against the wall as hard as I can. The yellow ones, I actually like yellow-flavored shit, and people hate it. These yellow ones are garbage. I don't like yellow-flavored stuff. The fucking purple ones, I'd rather eat. Well, those are black licorice, aren't they? Disgusting.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I think they were black licorice. Why do old people fuck with licorice? That's all they had for fun back then they would be like hey look we got this chewing gum that when you chew it turns black and guess what it's licorice flavor. What the fuck is that? What's wrong with you sad fucks? Yeah. You had cooler cans and way of opening cans. That's it. But that's it dude.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Old people just like their shit. And then wax candy. Wax candy. One time my grandma got me these things it's like oh it's wax lips and I put it in my mouth and it makes you look like you have big lips and I tried to eat it and I'm like grandma You suck. I'm eating a fucking candle. You suck, Grandma. Why am I eating this? Yeah, I remember my mom, and she gave it to me once.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
She's like, it's like chewing gum. So naturally, I tried to chew it like chewing gum. It's not. You know what it's like? Wax. Yeah, biting into a candle. Oh, my God, it sucks. Into a Yankee candle, which I would bite some of those. Dude, I don't know if I ever told you this story, but in seventh grade, because remember, I went to the new school in seventh grade, and...
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
That sounds like I got, like, shipped off or something. I went to boarding school. I went to the school, but it was, like, the promise. Like, the science rooms had, like, science-y tables. You remember those science-y tables that had, like, the black, like, chalk-like. And they had a sink. A sink in the middle and shit like that. Bunsen burner. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
And our science teacher, he was going over what we were going to be doing this year, and it was cool shit. He showed us that experiment where you dip a can in hot water, and then you immediately go to cold water, and it just fucking crushes. Oh, that happens? You've never seen that? No. It's crazy. He showed us the one where like he puts like liquid in a cup and then it just like turns black.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Oh, yeah, I've seen that. And then at the end of everything, he's like, it's going to be he was getting like so dramatic. And he's like, it's going to be like we're going to like blow your mind. Science is everything and anything. And he lit a candle. And he's like, science will make you question your perception of reality. He blew the candle out and then ate it. And I was like, what the fuck?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Yeah. I'm just, I think 10 to 2 is the perfect brunch time. I was thinking like noon to 3. Noon is lunch. By definition, noon is lunch. By definition. Definition of lunch. But what's a brunch? It's breakfast lunch. It's in between breakfast and lunch. Lunch doesn't end at noon. I say breakfast, here we go.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Why did he eat it? This was crazy, dude. Yeah. It blew my mind. You definitely thought, that's so cool. I did. And then I found out that he was a fucking fraud. It wasn't a candle. It was a piece of string cheese. I was so pissed about this. It was a piece of string cheese. And he cut the... He cut like a sliver... of an almond and put it in the top and lit it so it looked like a candle.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
So he was like, candle, and then ate it. I was like, yo, this guy's crazy. We're going to do crazy shit this year. He just ate a candle. It was just string cheese with an almond. I love how that is what got Frankie to be like, yo, this guy ate a candle. This class is going to be sick. I would be like, what the fuck is going on, bro? I would give him a shout out, but fuck him. Damn it.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
That pissed you off, huh? I was- I was- Wait, how long- When did you find out? The end- It was, like, weeks if not months later. So, but you were devastated. Of course I was. How'd you find out? You asked him? I think someone had, like, asked and he told them, or, like, someone figured it out. He's like, oh, string cheese, you dumbass. Yeah, basically. I remember being so upset about it, too.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
What? I was just like, wait, that's not real. That's not a, yo, we were bought in. I was so bought in to the science class. Your world came crumbling down. And then I just found out it was string cheese with an almond. I love how you were so impressed by that that it was devastating to you. That he ate a candle. So upset. Did he eat the whole thing? No, he just took a bite.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
And it was like at the, literally it was as like the bell rang. Cause you remember teachers would be like, the bell doesn't dismiss you. I dismiss you. It's like, your dick is small. We get it. We get it, dude. And he'd be like, all right guys. So look forward. I'll see you. Cause we had like every other day classes. So if it was Monday, he'd be like, I'll see you on Wednesday. And never forget.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
We didn't need that detail at all. Well, it was at the end of class. And it was like, I'll see you on Wednesday two days from now. And never forget. We had a whole day off to be like what the fuck is this guy gonna do next class Yeah, and he was just like and never forget. We're gonna have a fun year science is everything And we're all like, what the fuck? What grade was this? Seventh grade.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Seventh grade, okay, that'll do it. Just the sweet spot of you still believe in the magic of the world, but then people start talking to you about the Bush administration. Yeah. Yeah. See, that's what you had, and then I had my Chinese-Spanish teacher that was failing me relentlessly every time. Oh, I had a Spanish teacher that hated me, too. Yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
All my Spanish teachers besides... Wait, did I take Spanish in sixth grade? My seventh grade teacher was this Chinese woman who absolutely hated me. Yeah, we know. We remember the whole story. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
yeah we get it do not bring it up our spanish teacher the reason she hated us it made sense her last name was madera which is wood in spanish what did anyone hear the ghost that's miss madera yeah wait so would you say oh she she got so many wood jokes like boners Oh. Yeah. I thought you were just making, like, wood jokes, and I'm like, yeah, you got her. No, no, no. Like, you know.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Breakfast, anywhere from 7, it could even be earlier because people, you know, let's say 5 to 10 is breakfast. Bro, no way. If you wake up at 5 and eat, you're disgusting. That's insane. No, people do that because they have to. That's bananas. I mean, people work early, so they have to. But, like, delay it. Have coffee and then eat like an hour later. No, no, no.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Did you, because I remember in high school, did you show the priests in your high school your boners, or? I think that's not appropriate, honestly. I didn't have any, I did have, I had one brother. What are those? What are brothers? Monsinger? Monsinger? Monsignor? Monsignor. Yeah, but it's spelled with a G, brothers. Yeah. Is that what it is? Monsinger? What's a brother?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I think it's just like a guy. Like a guy who's almost there? A guy nun. Like a male nun? Like a dude nun. A gun. A religious brother is a man who takes vows of poverty, chastity. First of all, he was going to pay. Poverty. And obedience. What did we mean by, well, obedience, I get that, to the Lord. Yeah. You got to obey that. Chastity, that makes sense. Chastity, is that no puss? No sexies.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
No puss? And, uh. Vow of poverty? Poverty. He's definitely getting paid. I mean, that doesn't, that I don't understand. Like, you choose to live in squalor to feel more connected to God? Is that a thing? I don't know, but I'm confused why there's not a vow of being a fucking asshole, because that guy was an asshole to me. Really? Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, he was.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I always wondered, and I think I have asked you this before, but your science classes, where do they draw the line? Do they just start and stop at earth science? I'll tell you this. Or they'd be like, and the rivers run because of this and that, and then because of God. No, so it wasn't like that. Was it for you?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Really? I swear to God. Really? You want to hear what I had? That's weird because... By the way, for those of you guys that don't know, Joey and Ant went to the same high school. Right. Different times. Ant's like six years old. Okay. No. I had my... This is actually kind of funny. My science teacher was a gay man, right? Not out at the time. What's hysterical about that?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
You're saying like the thing that's like teaching science in a Catholic school, you're like, where are they drawing the line? And he was gay. So he had two strikes on him. He wasn't like out gay, but he was very obviously gay. Then I had another teacher who taught sex and religion. Was that the class? So sex and religion, who was trans.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
like was like since then has transitioned or at the time was transitioning no it was like like yeah wow I think maybe in the middle that's pretty cool well I was like I didn't think about that until right now when you said it like where they draw the line in science like it was a regular science like we did chem and biology that's pretty cool that's that's yeah cool in the sense like that they accepted her did I ever tell you the story about that class no uh oh true this is true right
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Well, I think I've said it before, honestly. So on the first day, the teacher was like, we're just going to make everyone comfortable. So everyone's going to go up to the board. And whatever makes you think of sex, write one word on the board. I think you have told me this, but continue. So people are writing like contraceptive, right? Because no one wants to be like nipples. Yeah. Oh, my God.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
This is the second version of the hot sauce that me and Greg did. The first one was the Everything Bagel hot sauce, but this is a Bloody Mary hot sauce. And again, you guys, fucking listen. I'm not being a shill because you pay the bills. It is really good, and it does go on everything that I have consumed. I have not had it in a drink. Right. Because I don't know why you'd put that there, but...
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Forget it. If I was in that class. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You probably would have pranked the whole thing. I would have. Honestly, if you were, like, in that class, what would you have written to try to be funny? Because I always try to be the class clown. I think I wrote, like, or something like that. Fat tits. I didn't write fat tits. That's insane. But, like, I wrote, like, something.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Some people are on different rhythms than you. I understand that. Clearly not. Clearly not. Too loud? That was loud. I didn't realize he had headphones on. You're in for a world of hurt over there, sexy fuck. That Bloody Mary is beating the shit out of you. Oh, God, it is. You got one sip in them, and it's already going crazy. I'll be honest. This hot dog is doing a lot of work. Yeah, you like it?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Like, I was trying to be, like... 69. There was a kid... I think someone did write 69. There was a kid who was... Strange. You know in the kids in high school that kind of act like cats and you're like, why is this guy meowing? You know what I mean? Yep. There was nothing wrong with this kid. I think that he just... Like cats. Maybe. Yeah. Or he was a cat. I have no idea. Okay. But...
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
He wrote hentai up on the board, which the teacher didn't know what it was. So he looked it up. No, he wrote hentai, and then as he's walking back to his seat, he was like, what is that? The kid said something like, it's something like when your favorite cartoons are having sex, but all the noises are real. He said something like that. That's a very accurate way of saying it.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Frank, this was the first day of class in our sex and religion class with our transgender teacher. It was... A whole ton. I mean, that's a good way to break the ice. I mean, good for us. The ice was shattered on that day. Okay? The ice was beat to shit. Oh, I wish any teacher allowed us to do something like that. Why? You want a full pass to write penis on the board?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I would have gotten in trouble. That's for sure. Like, if you were giving me a pass to write penis, first of all, there's no way I'm going up there. Big cock! Yeah, there's no way I'm writing penis. People would have... 2007, Joey, if one of us went on the board and wrote penis, they would have immediately...
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
pegged us as like you would have gotten whoa no i know i i am thinking about it right now we were in high school in 2007 yeah 2006 that is so crazy yeah and you were born in 2008 right no how old are you
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Okay. Four years. Five? How old am I? Well, he turned 28 this year. Five years. And it'll be five years because we're turning 33 this year. Oh, my God. Yo, disgusting. Ill, ill, ill. Disgusting. Ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill. Ill. Yeah. I don't feel 33. You know what's funny? On the drive-in, I was thinking to myself, like, I still feel like I'm the same person in just, like— That's not true.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
That's not true. Thank God I didn't but like I still feel like the same person in a sense that I was like my whole life like I don't feel like Like, 2007 was like, it feels like it could be a week ago or 18 years ago. You know what I'm saying? Okay. It just, it all feels like it happened in a short period of time. Right. So, like, dude, 2007 is going to be 18 years ago. It is 18 years ago.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Yeah, when I was younger, I remember thinking of someone who's 23 and being like, bro, get your life together. Like a 23-year-old. I remember, I think we spoke about this recently on an episode, but, like, I remember there would be, like, there was always, like, one girl in our high school, and they were like, her boyfriend's in college. He's 22. And everyone was just like, whoa.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
And then, like, now looking back on it, like, ugh. You're like, yo, slap some cuffs on that guy, dude. What the fuck is going on? Crazy, crazy. Yeah. I, uh, yeah, 20 years ago. Yeah. Almost. Can I ask what you're about to do? I'm about to eat this fried chicken that's been sitting here. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. You're a savage. Hell yeah. You're a savage.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
That looked like it tasted really good. Give me that hot sauce, bitch. I can catch. Ooh, a little one-hander. Frank, give him the Bloody Mary hot sauce on a piece of chicken right before we get out of here. Make sure you put the tip of the bottle right where you bit the chicken, you fucking assholes. with you now. It's hot sauce. It sanitizes itself.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Guys, I think that's all for this week's episode. Are you going to say it? I was going to wait until you say what you were going to say, and then I was going to say my things. You can go try the Bloody Mary hot sauce that Frank has in his hand that he's about to... There you go. Go get it at theheatness.com. Go look for the Bloody Mary hot sauce. Thank you for supporting. We appreciate it.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I've been on a health kick lately. Frank, you're drinking a Bloody Mary and sucking it through a hot dog. The health kick is over. The health kick is completely over. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's gone. I got hot dogs at the house, too, so those are on fucking call right now. I'm telling you that. When you eat a hot dog, is it kind of like a waterfall? You're like, well, I need three. Yeah. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Frank, where can they find you? You can find me at FAlvarez885 on Twitter, TheFrankAlvarez on all the forms of social media. Go to Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard to continue to support us. We appreciate you.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
And like I said earlier, if you're coming to the Just for Laughs shows in Vancouver on February 20th, 21st, one of those, or if you're coming to the shows in Europe, go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit. Submit the responses to the questions that we've asked you. It's going to be a party. We want to see you guys, and we're hoping you're happy. And that's all for this week's episode.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
You guys can go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram at TheBasementYard. We appreciate it. Thank you so much. Welcome to the new studio. Bye. See you next time.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Like, we have hot dogs. We only have four hot dogs at the house right now. Why do you know the inventory? How many hot dogs are available? Like, why do you know that? I just know. You know how many hot dogs on hand you have. No, you don't. Yes, you do. Well, I don't. How many hot dogs do you have on hand? Zero. Exactly. You know how many on hand. But if I had a package. That's the point.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
If I had a package, I wouldn't know how many were in there. Yes, you would. No, I wouldn't. Joey, if you bought a package of eight hot dogs, because that's a standard package, small package. See, I didn't know that. Yeah, you did. You knew that, yeah. Standard package, small package. You see that, right?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
If you bought a package of eight and you had three, you'd be like, oh, so I probably have five left. You know. Don't sit here and be high and mighty because you ran a fucking marathon and now you eat quinoa and you fucking, you like ancient grains and shit like that. You're a boy that loves hot dogs. You're a hot dog king.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Don't ever let the world, don't ever let the world change who you are in your heart. Who you are in your heart dictates everything about you. Your morals, your standards, the love that you show other people and all of us. All of us. are originally hot dog kings or queens or non-binary places of royal. I don't know. I don't know what the, you know, the, you know what I'm saying?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Can you hear like the amount of bullshit that comes out? Like, do you, what do you, what does it register as? Like you're, you're making sense or do you know it's bullshit? Oftentimes I started a sentence and I want to see how long I can go until I just trip up. That actually makes a lot of sense. There's a lot of that going around. Anyway, I want to talk about yesterday. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Had one of the worst days of my life. Uh-oh. Like a funny worst day? Yeah, yeah. That was a little dramatic. I was going to say, God damn. But you know me. Pisces. Dramatic. Or sensitive? I don't know. Either way. Do me a favor. I did want to cry. Do me a favor. Yeah. Get the fuck out after that. Pisces dramatic. Apparently, does it? Yo, this is not bad.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Yeah, it's kind of slapping my- The fucking Bloody Mary's not bad. I hate the- I'm going to tell you it's because of this, which it probably is. The sauce is amazing. Go get it. Heatness.com, by the way. Secret Handshake Food Co. Two for two. Just want to throw that out there. Bangers. But yeah, yesterday, my dog woke me up at 6 a.m., and he never wakes me up.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
So when he woke me up, I was like, great, now he's got diet doodle cha-cha-cha, which it was true. Oh, the fun little name that your family gave, diarrhea. My mother, yes. Yeah. By the way, this is the family that swears that none of them have IBS. Go ahead. Ooh. Gotta say, metal straws. Yeah, because this one almost just broke my front tooth just now. Your what? My front tooth.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Oh, I thought you said fuck tooth. My fuck tooth. This is an episode, baby. Yeah, all right. Welcome! To the new studio. That echoed. But he woke me up, so he's got di-do-da-cha-cha-cha. So I take him out. Sure enough, he's making espresso out there in the morning, right? God damn it, Joey. There's 90 other ways that you could say that. Yeah. So then we get back upstairs, and I'm like,
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
But we're gonna put it in a Bloody Mary because we got Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary! We're doing a brunch episode for the inaugur- Inaugur- Inaugur- Inauguration. Joey's really pumped. He's celebrating. He's been celebrating the whole time. How do I say that word? Ina- Ina- Inaugural. Inaugural. Inaugural? Inaugural. But technically, if we want to be- I thought it was gear-ul. Inaugural. Inaugural?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
All right, I'm going to take him to the office with me. So me and Greg came here, and we had a lot of stuff to do. The dog is driving me crazy. As soon as we get here, he needs to go out. So I take him out immediately. More espresso, all right? Please. Sing the song. Please. You just can't sleep, baby, I know. It's a butthole espresso. Exactly.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
So then we come back in here, and he's being restless. He's going up to Greg. He's getting in my face and breathing and whatnot. And I'm like, oh, my God, just relax for a second. I go to the bathroom. As soon as I go to the bathroom, he throws up on the carpet. Nice. So there's that. Oh, he christened it. He christened it.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
You know how people, like, when their friend gets a new car or something, they throw, like, spare change on the floor or something like that? That's the dog's way of christening this new place. The Greeks do that shit, right? The Greeks love that. They tie dollars all over the place. Like, what is this? They're sometimes stupid. Say it. I'm Greek. I can say it, baby.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
And this espresso, vegetable espresso is killing me. I don't know what that meant, but God bless him. I can't have alcohol. I know. But anyway, we get in here and he's freaking out. So he throws up on the carpet. I'm like, oh my God, here we go. So, I put him on the couch, and I'm just like, you know, trying to make him relax a little bit. This dude throws up like a fat man. Like a lot.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Like, throws up like, boof. And I'm like, bro. When he throws up, do you hear him heaving, or is it just like a push? No, you hear... Yeah. Yeah, he does that. Alright, I'm about to eat. Yeah. Well, the story doesn't get better. Oh. As far as eating goes. I don't know if it gets better in any other way. I was going to say, how would it get better at all? So he throws up like that.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I'm like, fuck, now I got to take him. You mind shutting the fuck up? Are you forgetting that we're on a podcast? What the fuck is this, kid? Frank, you're not actually at brunch. Here we go, here we go. Shut up, Joey. Me shut up? Frank, you know what? Let's all wait until Frank's done cutting his fucking breakfast. How about that? I shut up hungry. Are you done? Pretty good. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
So, then, I'm like, I gotta take him to the vet. Frank, you shut the fuck up right now. I hate this kid. I absolutely hate you. Go ahead with your story about your dog. Oh, you know what? Forget the story. Let's just listen to you fucking eat. Let's just do that. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful story later about something super cool.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Or we'll start rattling off names of directors no one's ever heard of. Let's do that. Luca Guadagnino. Okay. Okay. Do you want me to keep going? No. Okay. I'd like you to stop. Drew Goddard. No. Matt Reeves. I meant stop eating and drinking. That's what I meant. All right. All right. Hold on. One more. One more. Onward. Wow. You're really... You're cheat...
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I was going to say your cheeks touched in there. You saw that, right? Yeah. All right, go ahead. So anyway, I go to the vet. I go to the vet. Can't find parking. I'm like, what the fuck? So I put it in a hydrant, and I get into, don't you dare eat that piece of chicken, Frank. Don't eat the fucking piece of chicken, all right? This is like having children. You're pointing at no one.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Inaugural? I don't know, but- Look at these bloodies, baby. Look at that. I mean, you have the chicken tenders on yours. I obviously went with a really well-cooked hot dog. What's going on with the bun is my question. The bun. So, Greg, thank you for setting this up, Greg. I appreciate it. But when he heated up... When he went to heat up the hot dog, he also went and put the bun in the microwave.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
There's no one over there. All right, shut up, guys. I'm not going to tell the story if you're going to keep doing this. I know that you're having fun, but I'm going to come over there and put you in a chokehold. Okay, all right, all right. I'm serious now. I feel bad about your dog that might be dying. Yeah, I don't know. Oh, shit. Seriously? No. I don't know. He's not dying. That's scary. Yeah?
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Will that get you to shut up? Yeah. Then he is dead. I mean, listen, if this was a serious health concern for your dog, then I would have stopped playing around. Oh, you're playing? Yeah. You're a piece of shit, dude. All right, no, seriously. One more outburst. And I'm tearing the walls of this fucking studio down. I will throw all the money away. I don't think you'd do that. This was not cheap.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I will throw the money away. All right, go ahead. Seriously. So anyway, I get to the vet finally. And I put my car in a hydrant. I take my dog out. I walk in. And they take him in the back. And I tell them what's been going on and whatever. And then I come back out to the waiting room. Because they're like, we'll take him in the back. We'll give him meds or whatever.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
So I'm sitting in the waiting room. And two minutes go by. And then this girl comes out from the back with a laptop. Well, before I got there, they're like, here's what your bill's going to be. Do you want to do the x-ray? If you want to do the x-ray, it's this. It was $1,700. With the x-ray? With an x-ray. I was like, you know what? I'll just look at them really hard, and then I'll figure it out.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
So I was like, I'm not doing the x-ray. You're the person with zero medical experience for humans, let alone animals. Correct. But then the bill was $800. I was like, what? I mean, you don't have pet insurance? I do. But it's still $800. With pet insurance, it was $800? No, I think you have to, like... Oh, it's like rebate? Yeah, that type of thing.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
I was going to say mail-in rebate, but that's completely wrong. I mean, that might be, technically. I don't know. You mail in the check, and they rebate you. Yeah. They'll bait you. They'll bait you. Yeah. Master re-baiters. Sorry, that was the... If you're going to produce this show, you can't cough. That was my bad. He's eating, he's coughing. That was my bad. Come on. This is serious.
The Basement Yard
#489 - We Have A Bloody Mary Brunch
Yeah, be serious. The dog is fucking sick. The fucking dog is... So I go out to the front, the girl comes out with a laptop. Now I get super scared. That's scary. Because she sits down and she goes, okay, so you're Charlie's dad? I was like, yep. And then she's like, okay, we just wanted to let you know. And I was like, bro, what the fuck is going on right now? That's fucking... That... So scared.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Okay. And then I'm going to ask you a question.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
That to me is way less scary than being like someone came in, didn't take anything, and killed these two people in their bed. I'd be like, what the hell?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Okay. You're telling me it would be absolutely no if there was like two people or let's just say a family that lived in this house for over a decade with no problem beforehand and that was it.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
It matters if the thing was sinister or not. That's what I'm saying. If someone just came in, but if someone trying to steal from your house and then killing you because there's a struggle is different than going in and cutting them long ways and opening and laying.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
No, I don't know. What makes you think that no one dies in a house?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
That's an easy one. I don't want the old skin particles of a dead person here.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Pull it out of the things and send me a picture of it.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
But that's the same thing that you're describing.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
You know me. I was just going to say, is there anything that you can throw away?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
College, Old Navy, on sale. What's special about that?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
What is this laid down? I would like to lay down.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I mean... But I get it because it's like... Because I would be more upset if like, oh my God, my children are too big to lay in this mattress.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Yeah, because like. But you could do that about every single thing. If you have an attachment to everything, then how is everything, how is anything special?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I'm like, I think that Miles is going to be good on all that.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Someone's going to have to physically hold you.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Yeah, I mean, totally different. My daughter being missing, that was so hard. But when I had to throw out a sock, you don't know what that's like. That sock's been with me my whole life. There was one day where that had happened.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Well, no. He was like, you guys are following me. Stop following me. It makes me feel weird.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
But when I see shit like this with the Jason Kelsey thing where he's like, yo, you're legitimately following me. And then it looked like that dude climbed a fence and was yelling shit at him and then saying shit about how his family died or whatever the fuck. And I'm like, what is this?
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
Laying down, taking a nap while being pushed around in public? I'm not falling asleep in public.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
AI is saying this to a person who's trying to help elderly.
The Basement Yard
#480 - A.I Is Officially Coming For Us!
I do like being tucked in, but that doesn't mean I want a giant man to carry me down the road.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
welcome back to the basement welcome back to the basement yard frank how's it going are you did you just wake up what's going on yo honestly i just got tired dude you just got a tire i just got tired one tired a single tire do you do that thing where you're tired where you do this have you ever actually done this uh i don't do this but i do this you do that i like kind of rub it like a
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
But like, not going to spoil it for just in case, because someone once was just like, how dare you spoil Harry Potter? 20 years old. After everything that happens with Snape. Yes. He goes, pause it. Explain that to me just so I make sure I understand.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Nothing crazy. What am I taking pictures of? Me. It's just me. Oh, just like a headshot? No, a little more. Like head to toe. Full body shot. Yes. Yeah. Only like three or four of them. Nothing crazy. Okay. All right? What are you doing? What are you doing? What? Why are you taking your shirt off? Oh, well, I'm not going to be wearing this for my... Oh, you're going to wear a different shirt?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Look at what I'm wearing. You're going to wear a different shirt. I'm sorry? I'm sorry. What did you say? I couldn't hear you. You're going to wear a different shirt. No. You're going to be a shirtless. What are you doing? What are you doing? I just, I'm not, I'm not, I can't wear, I just said I can't wear this for these pictures. What are you wearing? Why are you taking your clothes off?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Quick, we got to get this done. I'm not taking underwear photos of you, dad. And your pants are coming off. Are you changing your pants? Why are you taking your pants off like that? You're shaking your butt off. I just, I can't wear this. You understand. I don't understand. Let's get that quick. Let's get this done. I gotta send this. It's already like midnight in Tokyo. Come on.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
You're selling these to Japanese people? So that's how you do it. Yeah, but are you naked now? Yeah. Oh, I'm running out of air. Really? Yeah, no. Just quick. I already locked the doors. Just stay. You locked the door? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not going to eat. Just take the pictures. I'm not going to eat? Just take the pictures or the shackles go back on. What? It's weird.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
That's what we're joking about. Haha, jokes. It's weird. Yeah, no, that's a little crazy. This dude should be questioned by the FBI, maybe? Oh, I don't think it's in this country. I think it was in Brazil. Brazil. Yeah. I don't know much. How would they sound if the mom asked? I have no idea. I don't know how to. Oi, chuchu. Okay. I don't know what that means. It means like little cutie boy.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Does it? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I remember that. You remember that? Yeah. Who called you a little cutie boy in Brazil? I dated a Brazilian girl. And she called you that? She called me chuchu. Really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't get any nicknames growing up, so... Yeah, you've never, like... Got nicknames? Never got nicknames. Like, no one called you, like, anything. You called yourself a lot of things. Agent Zero, you called yourself. Let's see, what else? You called yourself a proud boy for years. Um... Oh, that's all right. You're right. You're still calling yourself that.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Right, yeah, okay. Yeah, that's it. If you could honestly go back to when you were a teenager, if you could have a nickname, what would it be? I remember, actually, this is going to sound so fucking stupid. Yeah, well, that's the show. Welcome back to the basement yard where everything sounds really stupid. I... Maybe, I don't know if you felt this way too, but like you wanted a cool nickname.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Hell yeah. That was just like not your name at all. Hell yeah. And I remember watching the Friday Night Lights movie. What was his name? And one of the running back who gets hurt, his nickname was Boobie. Boobie Miles. And I was like, damn, I wish people called me Boobie. You wanted people to call you Boobies? Boobie. Because you were so afraid. Not Boobies. Boobie. Boobie. Yeah. Why?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
That was his nickname and it just felt mad cool. So that's all, like that's like. I wanted to be Boobie.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
really i don't think that i ever like brought that to our friend group be like yo how about booby like i never did that but i was like hoping that you guys would oh it's like just out of nowhere we would accidentally call you booby and you're just like yep yes yeah uh-huh yeah say my name again yeah like i i was like i wanted my nickname to be booby for somebody that's a weird one i don't think yeah i mean you know our our nicknames were joey and frankie or yeah like
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Wait, you were explaining the plot and you cried? But, like, bro, I just watch everything that happens with Snape. Yeah. The pensive memory and everything. Right. And then Miles was like, I just want to make sure I understand what he said. And then you cried. And what happened. What did he say when you started crying?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
That was the closest thing. I don't think I had... There was one person that we knew that called me facts.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Chelsea. I didn't think you were going to say fax for a second. Yeah. What do you think? Oh, you thought I was going something way worse. I was like, I know it was back in the day, but don't say that on the show. Well, there was someone that we knew that used some bad words. Wait, Chelsea called you fax? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yikes. I mean, I didn't hate it. I know. You loved it.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
We went to Splish Splash, and Frankie got a tattoo across his chest that said F-A-X. Well, it was facts, too. It was squared. Facts squared, baby. Which is so many facts. That was our tag that we never once tagged anywhere. Ever. Ever. You were Joe Mudd. I was faxed, too. There was other kids in our class that, like, wanted one.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I remember once my brother Nick was like, yo, like, do you think you can come up with a cool nickname for me? And there were these toys that came out at the time. And they were, like, little, like, they looked like stick figures, but they were made of blocks. And you could, like, change the way that they were. Oh, yeah. You know, you remember what I'm talking about?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Weren't those like always in like dentist's office or some shit? Kind of, but like you could change the way that they were so you could stack them in like a building. Okay, okay. And they were called knickknacks. So you called your brother knickknacks? So my brother was knickknack. And then, yeah, I can't remember anyone else.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
yeah i remember i remember my sister when she was like in eighth grade maybe there she was dating some kid and i remember sitting outside of my stoop and his name was joseph right or maybe this was a little older but i remember sitting outside in the stoop and this was like before he knew my name and she was standing there with him and i think i was asking him Like, oh, why do you go by Joseph?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I didn't... I wasn't, like, bawling crying, but, like, I would be, like... Choked. So... What happened? You know, like I would like pull it together and I slowed up the conversation. Did he say, Kiki, what are you doing? He was just like, he was intently watching. I think he's at an age now where he's not going to point out me crying because it happens probably way too often. But he was just like.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Because to me, that was like something my grandma would call me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, because the nickname Joey is gay. And that's what everyone called me. Yeah. And I literally was like, hmm. And I never said a word. You know what's funny is he obviously knew your name. No, I don't think he knew my name. He was dating your sister.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I'm sure that there was some conversation about I have a little brother. Bro, they're in eighth grade. They don't talk about like, so what do you do for work? I mean, they just enjoy chocolate milk or whatever the fuck. Maybe I'm underestimating how old A3 is. You're definitely like... Yeah, they talk about their siblings and stuff. So he was pressing me.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
He was definitely... It was like a moment of like, I'm the man of this house now. Got it. Because Thomas was probably in college at that point, right? Yeah. Or like about to go. So he had to reestablish himself or establish himself in your home. Right. I was like, I'm the alpha male here. Keith was on RuneScape. He was busy. So he was like, yo, you got a gay nickname. Joey. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Yeah, just to let you know. You changed it. I'm the only Joe in this house now. I didn't really see it that way. I thought that he just didn't know my name was Joey, so I was just like, oh, yeah. That was a power play. Yeah, that's crazy. That is gay. Oh, you know what? I had a code name, I guess, not a nickname. I think I've told you this. Frank, you're not a secret agent. It's a nickname?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
No, it was when I was in sixth grade. My sixth grade girlfriend and I would write notes back and forth. And your name was Chester. Chester, yeah. How did you land on the whitest name ever? I don't know. Did you pick Chester? Maybe. I'm not sure. It's quite possible. What was her name? I can't remember off the top of my head. Damn it! Yeah, I know. But, you know, I was Chester.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
What was the reason for having a code name? Well, you pass notes explaining how much you like someone, and it would be, forget about it. If a teacher caught that, you know, they'd do one of the whole, like, let's read this out loud. That happened to me in Ms. Barbario's class. I was passing a note to Jamie, and she took it.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
She didn't read it in front of the class, but she read it, and she was just, like, smiling, and then she gave it back to me. And I was like... What did it say? I don't know. It was something about... I may have, like, passed it through you to her. I was so... That was the thing that was so difficult for me.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
It was like I was the intermediary between both of you, and I would be like, oh, what is it? You guys like each other? Cool. Yeah. And, like, I would hand it off. Yeah. You know, no one fucking... Oh, my God. No one wrote for me. No one wrote for me in fifth grade, dog. First of all... I didn't have a ride or die like you did in fifth grade. No one fucking... I didn't have a ride or die either.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Yeah, she didn't ride or die for you. That's what I'm saying. You know. And then you made out with her. Well, you know. I will never forget that. Forget it. I think it's time you can forget, bro. I mean, like, the whole part of it, like, you finding out. That I will never forget. Finding out? You just told me. I told you. Yeah. You were not happy. There was no investigation.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
No, but, like, I'll never forget telling you that in your response. You were not happy. Yeah, no, it was not good. But... I'll never forget that. It is seared into my brain. That is fucking hysterical. Yeah, but I don't even know why I brought it up. Oh, because of the passing notes. But I was in Ms. Barbario's class.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
And remember when they made us walk down the hall and be like, oh, this is what high school is going to be like. This is what sixth grade is going to be. You walk. 20 feet to your next class. Yeah. Well, I think because they had switched up for math to put the kids that are strongest at math all together and then weakest together. Right. And that's why we were in the same math class.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Back then. I was always great at math. Yeah. Believe it or not, me and Frankie were good students. Yeah. We're only dumb now. We're academically probably still very gifted. Yeah. And gifted in other ways. Not wieners. I'm saying, like, you know, like, well. Why did you say wieners? Because some people say, like, he's got gifts. He's gifted, you know, well-endowed. Oh.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Okay. Yeah. All right. I'm going to stop asking. Okay. You know, he was like, all right, whatever. Watch the movie. Jeez. Put it back on. Oh, but like at the end, I was just like, it was power of love. You know? Oh my God. Frank, pull it together. No, bitch. I feel things, bitch. You fucking try it. Bro. I'm mad sensitive, but we're talking about a movie that you've seen maybe eight times.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I don't know why I went to wieners first. I'll be honest. Okay. Maybe therapy. Look into that. But, yes, Ms. Barbario's class, I was passing a note, and then she took it, and she saw it. I was like. I also very vividly remember that day because that was the day of the Mount Carmel dance.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I remember it. I remember that dance too. And it was like you and Jamie were going to dance together. We didn't. I know.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
but everyone was just like oh shit what's gonna happen and i remember because where was that school because it's on like 30th avenue if you had asked me that school was in upstate new york bro dead ass hours away like anywhere that i had to get in a car i'm like oh my god we might be in pennsylvania yeah yeah swear to god i thought the exact same thing crazy yeah but i remember i remember going and being like damn like everyone's so tall because we were like young
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Yeah, but they were only like three years older than us. It's not like they were ancient. Those three years are insane for growth of your actual physical body. And you would see them. I remember there was a kid in our neighborhood that I think was only a year older than us, but I saw him dancing with a girl, and I was just like, that's what I'm going to be like when I grow up.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Like as a kid, you see people like older people doing stuff and you're just like, whoa. That's so fire. That's so sick. Kissing girls is so sick. This is what the future holds. Yeah. Maybe even less than a year old, like a calendar year, like six months. Yeah, that was... Dancing with girls was so... Bro, do you remember Alex the girl's birthday at her crib?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
And in the basement, they put on like Spanish music and I was like... Fuck. Yeah. I was mad scared. I remember around that time is when Yeah by Usher came out. And that was the thing that people just threw that on repeat. And it would be fucking ludicrous. Yeah by Usher. Yeah. And like... That shit came on, like... I was scared, man. And they shut all the lights off.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Yes, and there was, like, a light machine. Yes. That, like, did, like, multicolored lights. And I remember it was her birthday, and we went into her basement. And her parents, like, let us be down there. Just chilling, yeah. Just, like, crazy. Put on these lights, put on music, and I was already mad nervous to, like, dance with girls or do whatever.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
And then fucking Daddy Yankee came on, and I almost had to fucking panic attack. And I was like, if someone puts their ass on me, I'm literally going home. Joey heard rompe one time, and he got very scared. I was like, no, no, no. This can't happen here. No, I hear you. I think you danced with someone that day, and I was like, damn, good for Frank.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Listen, man, I was the mentality of like, just go for it, dude. We did a 180 in so many ways. At that time, I was like, life is short. I was 12. Right. Let's just do it. I was short. Let's just do it now. Live for the moment. Now I'm like, let's take very calculated risks. Right, yeah. And making sure, you know. Yeah. I remember, yo, that's so funny. Yo, dancing with girls.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
That was such a- And kissing them was like- I don't know if I've ever felt panic like that. I really like... And I am not looking forward to that part of parenting. But I wonder what... This is a weird way to say this, but that was like a rite of passage when we were kids. Our parents kind of let us experience life and didn't really talk to us about stuff like that. At all. My parents did not.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
It doesn't matter. That's that speaks to the strength of the storytelling. Honestly, it was my favorite. And acting. Good acting. Oh, my God. Good acting. All those people got to stop dying from Harry Potter. Anyway, we do have announcements. We have an announcement. If you didn't hear already on the last episode, but we are coming to the UK.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Me neither. Your parents did not. But I see the relationship that Becca and I have with Miles, and it is...
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
very heavily based off of communication and like how are you feeling and understanding and like i have a crush on this person blah blah blah so like what is that going to be like when our kids at that age are like i have a crush on a boy like bro ruby comes home tells me she has a crush on a boy i i'm not kidding i might kill a child no you just gotta do a background check not him not her him or her whatever she's into right but like that is gonna be so weird to navigate i'm gonna i'll tell you this
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
We're going to have a lot of material for this show, boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's a— Oh, my God, dude. Can you imagine? I can't—like— Ah, yeah. Teenagers? Oh, God. And you know what? You know what will be nice, though? Like, my kids are a couple years older than your kids because you have— Zero. Yeah. So, like, I'll be able to, like, walk you through it. I'll be big bro again.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
say those ads go ahead read those yeah that's uh i'm older than frank by a couple of months um anyway uh we do have some advertisements for today the first one being squarespace squarespace is where you're going to want to build your websites okay they have all the uh all these amazing templates so that it makes uh your website look nice and beautiful from the beginning okay your website is your first impression so if you have an e-commerce business or you create content or whatever people go to your website you want it to look professional
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I've gone to websites for certain things and the website kind of looks not great and you're kind of like, oh, I don't trust this anymore. So your first impression is huge. So with Squarespace, they're going to make it very easy to make a beautiful website.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
And yeah, like I said, with the templates, you could switch things in and out so that you could obviously customize it for your brand or whatever it is. And they also have a bunch of tools that will help you find out where your traffic is coming from and to optimize that. So it's the place to do that, okay? I wouldn't use anything else.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Anytime we create any sort of landing page or a website, we're always using Squarespace. So go check out Squarespace. If you need something like that, you can head to squarespace.com slash basement. and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain with that code basement, okay?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
So again, that is squarespace.com slash basement, and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. So if you're going to build that website, there you go, folks. And also, we have a new sponsor for today, and that's Caraway. Caraway, they make... Pots and pans, okay? Good-looking, clean cooking, all right?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
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The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
It's insanely expensive now to do that with all the delivery fees or whatever else. But yeah, so it's crazy. You have non-toxic pans that are not only good for you but also good for people to cook for. to cook with. So you get these pots and pans that are amazing. I have a giant orange one in my apartment. It's great. Love it. No complaints.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
The boys are going across the pond. Dirty, dirty, dirty. Tickets are on sale right now at TheBasementYard.com. If you guys don't know, here's where we're going. March 25th, we're in Scotland. Do it. All the boys are coming. That show's going to be great. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. My favorite thing that you do. Yeah. The 25th, we're being Glasgow and Scotland.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
It's nice to know that there isn't any like toxic stuff in it that like when you're cooking with it are getting slowly released into your food. So, you know. It's nice. 97% of Americans have PFAS toxic chemicals from nonstick cookware in their blood. But with these, you know, you don't have that. So go check out Caraway. Caraway's cookware set is a favorite for a reason.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
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The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
And folks, patreon.com slash the basement yard is a place we tell you to go to every single week so you can continue to support us if you are so kind and get more of us too. We are currently in transition into a new studio, which pretty much is as a result of the pandemic Incredible support you guys have been giving us on Patreon. So thank you so much.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
We are so absolutely appreciative and in love with you guys for helping us do this and live our dreams. So go to patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Sign up for that first tier and you get weekly episodes one week in advance. And that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So guess what? You double the amount of content that you get from the boys every single week.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
That's right. Basement Yard on Mondays and then exclusive episodes on Fridays. So go check it out. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. You guys got us to over 33,000 paid patrons. Unbelievable. It's truly, truly remarkable. And we are so thankful and appreciative. And even if you can't be a patron, we love you. And we are so appreciative and excited for 2025. So go check it out.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Joey, back to you. Joey back to you. Um, I, I, I, I, I think that just kind of coming back to the conversation we were going to, like we were having before, there is a lot about parenting that like, I remember my parents saying to me like, wait until you got to deal with this. And now I am terrified of it. You know, like. Oh, like teenagers. Yeah, dude.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Like, bro, they're nuts. Kids are nuts. Even when they're not, they're crazy. You know, if they're not nuts, they're crazy. That's what I'm saying. Like, if they're like, and then like, if they're not crazy, you're like, wait a sec, what is wrong with my kid? Like, why aren't they a little nuts? You know? So like, I don't know. Do I want my kids to be crazy or nuts? I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I think that you are maybe causing yourself some anxiety there, judging by the sentence that you just gave. No, I'm excited, but also— No, I'm cool. It's fine. I'm a cool dad. You know, I am going to do my best, my goddamn best, to embarrass these kids, though. You're one of those dads. I'm gonna have to be. Hey, kids! No, no, no, no, no.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
But, like, if they're having their friends over... Blast music while you pick them up from high school? Oh, yeah. When they're having their friends over, door open! Or I'll rip it off its hinges. Uh-huh. You know? Oh, like, don't close your door. Yeah. Hell yeah. What are you guys talking about? No phones. Let me see it. No phones. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Like you have, cause you have to establish like everyone always thinks you're going to be a cool dad, you know? Cool dad. Yeah. I'm chill. You know, like, yeah. And then these kids come home with, you know, and they're engaged to be married at 18 years old. You know what I'm saying? Wouldn't that be a good thing? Bro. If you went home at 18. Mom, dad.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Oh, and like, not like I married this person in Vegas or something. Yup. Yeah, no, that's insane. You know what I'm saying? I thought you meant, I don't know. I don't really know. I like, I was picturing like, Oh, like, cause our parents got married. Childhood crush at 18, not childhood, but like celebrity crush at 18. maybe like Katy Perry or something. Okay. Who I would have married at 18.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
So if Katy Perry has said, don't think about it too much, but you just turned 18 and I want to marry you. Yeah. I wouldn't have thought about why that's weird until probably today. But, yeah. Yeah. I probably would. I'm trying to think. I remember being upset that Katy Perry didn't know I existed. I'm saying didn't know like she does now. Yeah. She doesn't.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
There's a better chance that she knows you now. Sure. You know. Oh, there was a less than zero at 18. Like, now she might have just been like, who's this loser that...
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
exactly you know what i'm saying that's what i mean so like maybe she saw my face at some point but i did have a huge crush i mean but she's also with like california girls katie perry whoa she's with orlando bloom so i know i can't she'd see your face and just go fuck this guy you know she's with legolas yeah it's true you know unless i beat him in a sword fight well he was never great with swords obviously he was great with he was good with his sword but his not legolas bro i'm talking about pirates of the caribbean now oh um will turner
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
The 27th, we're going to be in London. We're going to go to London. We're going to go to London. We're going to go to London.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Yes, Will Turner. Will Turner. Yeah. He was not great with a sword either. He was just always in the right place at the right time. No, apparently he was good with a sword. He was like a blacksmith or whatever. Yeah, it doesn't mean you're good with a sword. It means you're good at making them. He was good with a sword though. Like him as an individual? That was a whole thing.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
That whole scene of him fighting Jack Sparrow with a sword and Jack Sparrow was like, oh, this guy's pretty good. That's like part of the movie. Really? I don't remember that. I haven't watched those movies. I would like to re-watch that. I haven't watched those in a while, but I remember a lot of them being dog shit. No! Some of them got a little too much. The first one was great, too.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
First one was good. Second one was good. And then after that, they started going... I feel like I fell off of... When Jack Sparrow wakes up in the middle of nowhere... That's like a third one. He gets swallowed by the Kraken. Remember? In the second one? I don't remember, honestly. Remember his dad has barnacles on his face? Yeah. Actually, it was cool. Ugly, though. Yeah, well, duh.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
If you could pick to be in the Lord of the Rings franchise, hear me out. Go. You could exist as a character, and not like a loser character. A cool one. A cool character in either Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean. I think my next is going to easily give you an answer, but whatever. Whatever. Or I'll do this. Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Tuesday. Is it a Tuesday? I don't know. No, it's a Thursday. Thursday. And then on the 31st, we're going to be in Dublin. Yeah. Can't do the Irish accent. I mean, I think I could. Ask me to talk about it like I'm fixing wood or something. Hey, talk about it like you're fixing wood. Well, this is a piece of oak. Nope. See, I lost it. I mean, it's not bad. Well, it's oak. It's very not. No, no.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Because if I ask Harry Potter, I know exactly where you're going. Harry fucking Potter. But I'm not asking Harry Potter because we know you'd be a Hufflepuff. Yeah, right! You'd be a Hufflepuff. You'd be like, no, the hat's gotta be, it didn't fit where I, no, I'd be, I'd probably be a Slytherin because I'm cunning. Frank, you wish you were a Slytherin. Bitch. You wish. Bitch. You wish.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Go on, go on Pottermore right now. Let's figure this the fuck out. Go on Pottermore. Pottermore. You can get your Patronus. You can get your house. What does that mean? Wait, hold on. Is this a website? Yeah, it's run by the Harry Potter people. Pottermore, babe. So you're just putting in names?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Well, like, they'll ask... You'll take a quiz, and it'll be like, this is what your Patronus animal will be. This is what your house would be. Pottermore, find out house. The official Hogwarts house on... Yeah, okay. Yeah, but... Get sorted now. Get sorted, but... Start the sorting ceremony. Okay, okay, okay. All right, I'm doing me. All right. When's your birthday? We know your birthday.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Oh, it's month first. Oh, wait. That's how it works normally. I thought they were doing that. I know. I thought they were stupid. Okay. Email address. One of these. One of these. You can put mine in if you don't feel, you know. Just do it. But you didn't answer. As you're filling this stuff out. Yes. Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, or Star Wars? Yes.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
it's going to be very difficult not to like... That's tough, right? Isn't that be dumb? Maybe Star Wars. Really? You can travel to different planets? Terrifying. Yeah, but not if you live in the world. Yeah, but then you're also under the regime of like space Hitler. Regime. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah, honestly. Like it's warm. Because it's just like it's not fantastical.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I mean, there is some fantastical stuff. Why are you saying fantastical? Because like Lord of the Rings, there's orcs and wizards. Here we go. All right. Dawn or dusk? You are probably, I would say you are a dusk guy. No, I like the dawn. Really? The dawn of a new day. Dawn. It's early morning. Boom. What are you most looking forward to learning at Hogwarts? What are the options?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
All about magical creatures and how to befriend and care for them. You do like that one. You like animals. Flying on a broomstick. That's a good one too. Apparition and I'm not even going to read that. Too many shins. Being able to materialize and dematerialize. No. Secrets about the castle. Kind of cool. Ooh, that is cool. Transfiguration, turning one object into another.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
We know what that means, Joey. You don't need to read that part of it. Hexes and jinxes. Ooh. Every area of magic I can. I think you would want to be a well-rounded man. I want to be well-rounded. Well-rounded, yeah. Choose a category to continue. Cats, toads, or owls? Cats, fuck you. Toads, ew. Owls, a thousand percent. I'll take the owls. Yeah, Joey's an owl guy. Which pet would you choose?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Barn owl. Pawnee owl. Snowy owl. Screech owl. Brown owl. Wait, hold on. Brown owl is pretty cool. And for diversity reasons, you should pick that. If you don't, you are a racist. But I like the tawny. He's brown though. Is he brown? Oh, there are pictures of these owls? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. That's a tawny owl. Oh, that one looks smart. That looks like it's going to feed.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
The snowy. But the brown one looks like it'll be a professor. This one looks like the one that ate all the lollipops. The tawny one looks like it would be like a professor and he would say something like, you know, like we are doomed to repeat history if we do not acknowledge it. Yeah. Okay. Which of the following do you find most difficult to deal with? Loneliness. Loneliness.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
You like being alone sometimes, but like too much loneliness. Boredom. Hunger. Being ignored. Cold. What are those that you can't deal with? Like the find the most difficult to deal with? I'll say boredom. Well, Joey lives in a $40 million mansion, so when you're cold, you just go into your hot tub, your swimming pool-sized hot tub. Which road tempts you the most? Tempts.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I had it. We just did an episode a couple weeks ago, and I had it. Yeah, you did. Now I fucked up. But anyway, we're going to cross the pond. We're going to be in the UK. So we're going to Glasgow, London, and Dublin for the Dublin show. There may be a second show if that show sells well. And the same thing for the London show. If the London show sells out pretty quickly, we'll add a second show.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
The twisting, leaf-strewn path through the woods? These people don't realize I'm a puss. The wide, sunny, grassy lane. That sounds beautiful. You do like woods, though. Yeah, but not dark woods. Did it say dark or did it say windy? It said dark and windy. Twisty leaf strewn path through the woods. Oh, okay. It doesn't say dark. It doesn't. It lit dark. The narrow, dark, lantern-lit alley.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
No, absolutely not. We grew up in enough alleys. We're okay. The cobbled street lined with ancient buildings. That one's kind of cool. I'm going to say the wide, sunny, grassy lane. That sounds about right. Yeah. Once every century, the flutterbee bush produces flowers that adapt their scent to attract the unwary. That's mad words. I can't.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
If it lured you, it would smell of... Okay, so what would lure me? The scent. Money. The... I do like the smell of money. Attention. And books. Oh, yes. The smell of books. So if books is an answer, I'm taking that. This one says the sea. Who is tempted by that? The sea smells good. The salty air. I don't hate that. Fish. Home. That is subjective. Home smell is subjective. A crackling log fire?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Love that. You like the smell of fire, though, or do you just like the sound of it? I think that... No, I like both. I like the smell of... Okay, all right, good. Fresh parchment. That's book, baby. That's book. That's as close to book as you're getting. But it's parchment, I think, of scrolls. Yeah, and what do you think books were made of back then, Joey? No.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I'm going to say a crackling log fire, though. Okay, whatever you want. After you have died, what would you most like people to do when they hear your name? Ask for more stories about your adventures? Miss you, but smile? Think with admiration of your achievements? I don't care what people think of me after I'm dead. It's what they think of me while I'm alive that counts. That one. That one sucks.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I'm going to say... Jesus Christ, this is getting morbid. Ask for more stories about your adventure. What adventures have you been on, Joey? None. You've drank in several countries. Those are not adventures. Those just prove that you have possibly a little. Oh, look at Lewis and Clark over here. Relax. Heads or tails? Head. Oh. Okay, okay. Are you getting your answer? Turn it to me.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Turn it to me. Turn it to me. The sorting hat is ready to make its decision. All right, turn to me and don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Jesus Christ I whispered it There was There is a sect Of the internet right now That was just like Yeah Yeah But like Who Like does anyone actually Wake up like a cartoon character Just like Yeah no You know No one does that shit Babies kind of do it
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Yes Way to go Joey Way to go Yes Congratulations I'm And I'm Here I am You know what I mean There you are babe Now you know That's crazy I'm not gonna do mine Because either I get Gryffindor And I'm happy Or I get someone else And I'm pissed Yeah yeah yeah Oh my god I would love to be a wizard though Besides the point, I'm picking pirate. I would still like to be a pirate for like a month.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
But like a good pirate, like a nice pirate. No, I'd like to rob, but maybe other pirates I'd like to rob. Oh, so that's pretty good. I'm saying like you're the pirate's pirate. You're going after the booty of the other pirates. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And rum. There's that alcohol. There it is. There it is. Right. And wine. Wine. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
But yeah, so that's what it is right now. The boys are going to come and do a couple shows over there in the Uke. But yeah, pop out. Tickets are available at TheBasementYard.com if they're not sold out already, which I hope they are. We hope people like us. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. We're going to go there, have some food. What are we going to eat?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
That one's tough because of all the... I don't really like being out at sea, though. Being known as someone that lives out on the sea is miserable. Kind of crazy. Let me tell you, that sounds awful. I'd probably have a really good tan. Yeah, and you'd also have a really good couple spots they needed to probably cut out of your skin because of the potential melanoma.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Yeah, I'd probably definitely get that. Yeah. You'd be an old, leathery hag. Yeah, but I'd have a cool hat and probably a pet monkey. Let's just get... Why can't we just dress like pirates? Why can't... You live in Brooklyn. Most people dress that way anyway. If that's fair. You know? We could, like, pirate chic, which is just pirates. I mean, you would need earrings, which you have none of.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
You would need longer hair. And I would need mascara. Not mascara. Eyeliner? Eyeliner. Eyeliner. I mean, whatever. That's fine. A golden tooth? That'd be cool. You know what's crazy? Is all... You know, like... Collectively, all of our success, neither of us have gotten grills. You think that's crazy? That we haven't? Is that what you're saying? Why not? Wait, you want grills?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Frank, I know that there was a point in your life where you desperately wanted them. I mean, hear me out. Would you hate it? If I had grills? Yeah. I don't know that it would go with my whole life. Really? It doesn't match my life. Grills? Yeah. Or at least one gold tooth. Like, what's his name? Like, one of the wet bandits? Marv? No, Harry. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Do it. Why not? I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I don't think I can. I think you can pull it off. I don't know. You probably can't pull off a grill. What about you? Would you get like a diamond chain? Like a big one? Not like a giant one. I'm not even going to lie to you. I've recently been looking up getting more jewelry. Okay, we're going.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Because one of the gifts that Becca got me for Christmas was a watch box and there's like slots for like jewelry and stuff like that. So you're like, obviously you got to fill it up. So now I got to fill it up. Okay, but are you going to get like diamonds? No, so I'll show you after. I'll show you some of the rings that I've been looking at. Rings? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Are you going to fill up your hands? Not, like, fully, but, like, there's going to be at least two on this hand. Okay. But, like, not at all times. Shiny? Diamond-y? Different colors. Different colors, you know. You're a ring guy. I think I am a ring guy. Okay. You know? But, like, this hand, I like it just being my wedding band. Like, it stays on its own. It's nice. You know, it does its thing.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
This hand, on the other hand. Fill it up. It's going to be filled. Yeah. You know? And then I looked into, like, bracelets. And I saw, because we know someone who is just an absolute menace to society who got like a Cuban link bracelet. And I was like, I can't ever do that. A Cuban link bracelet? Yeah. Okay. So. But would you get a chain? That guy got me a chain for Christmas.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I'm talking about like a big old one. Not like a big giant one, but like something egregious. No, no, no, no. No, I wouldn't. I think the one that Becca got me is pretty much almost, it looks almost like identical to the one that you're wearing right now. But like the way you have your bracelets, like those aren't bad. Like those are subtle.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Because the food over there, notoriously, is not very good. That's what people have said. I mean, I didn't really have an issue with the food when I was there. I'm crushing beans on toast. I'm letting you know right now. It's good, dude. You know how I feel about beans. You love beans. Beans, bangers, put them anywhere you want.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
And like, I'm more into like subtlety with jewelry, you know? I'm more into subtlety. I'm filling this hand up. I said very clearly, I'm not filling it up, but I am going to put some stuff on there. Yeah. You know? Okay. Just a couple of different. Maybe take the tape off of your thumb and that would make it look a little better. Yeah. No, but like. Fill it up with tape.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
If I come in and I have a ring for each hand. That would be insane. For each finger, you know? Right. You just think you're Thanos with that? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
yo i didn't even think of that don't spend too much thinking about it it's not very cool i would say i wasn't even thinking of getting a thumb ring but now that you said that i've put a ring on my thumb before where else have you put a ring we have more ads
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
uh the first one being hello zocdoc uh zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors uh so you can choose the right fit for you okay you go on this website this is what i actually used before they were sponsored on the basement yard uh i used them to find a doctor that took my insurance near me in my network because i didn't know how to do that my mom was just taking me to some guy
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
And then I think the guy was old as hell. He may have croaked by now. I have no idea, but I use ZocDoc because I heard about it, but it's a free site. You go on, you put in your insurance, and then it tells you which doctors in your area have available appointments. And most of them are within 24 hours.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
So if you need to see a doctor quickly, and by the way, it's not just primary care physicians or anything like that. There's some specialists on there, but it just really, I also use it to book like a a dermatologist, I just said that so wrong, a dermatologist. So you go on the website, you put in your insurance, you find them in your area, and they're patient reviewed. I believe it's out of five.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
If they have a really good rating, then you know, okay, the patient's had a good experience here, I'm gonna book this person, and that's how you can find a doctor. And based on your experience with them, You can stay with that person or you can find other people for other things. But yeah, so that's ZocDoc.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash basement to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. It's spelled Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash basement. So go check it out. Go get to, you know.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
take care of yourself get your tests done zocdoc.com basement and lastly here we have rocket money rocket money it's a personal finance app that is going to help you save money they're going to find and cancel unwanted subscriptions that you may have accidentally signed up for or it was something that you know you
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
you've spent money on and you've been using it every single or you haven't been using it every single month. You're like, you know what? It's time to cancel this. Put the money back in my pocket. A lot of people do this. They have over 5 million users and they have saved over $500 million in canceled subscriptions. So a lot of people are saving money doing this.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Wait, I thought the bangers were the mash. No. What's bangers? Bangers are sausage, babe. You bang the sausage. Wait, why do they call them bangers? Because of banging? Like banging sausages? Do I look it up or do you look it up? I'm not, I don't think either of us look it up. I imagine, yeah. I think we just guessed. That's probably a very scary Google search.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
But yeah, that comes out to it's saving members up up to $740 a year when using all of the apps premium feature. So I'd rather have that money in my pocket. rather than just giving it away. So Rocket Money helps you do that. But not only finding and canceling unwanted subscriptions, they also have a budgeting tool. So if you want to get better with your spending, they have a budgeting tool.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
You set a budget for yourself, try not to go over it so that you know you can put some money away for savings or for whatever you want to save for. And they also have a feature that can help lower your bills so you can grow your savings even more. So the app is just made to put money back in your pocket and to help you be smarter with your money. So go check it out.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Cancel your wanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash basement today, okay? That is rocketmoney.com slash basement. Put the money back in your pocket, people, rocketmoney.com.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
slash basement all right very good very good oh very good um dude we have to talk about uh i'm i'm down a rabbit hole this dude on tiktok who uh is like addicted to soda and he drinks like around the clock i i opened up his fridge and it was just filled with soda i saw that and then he's like people ask me if i have water and then he's like at the gym he's like of course i've drank water but i also and he holds up like two pepsis and i'm like bro
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I also saw that, like, he'll, like, pour, like, because I was watching it, too. I know what you're referencing. And he opened it, and there was, like, Fresca. And I was like, oh, okay, Fresca's not, like, one of the worst. What is Fresca? I think it's just, like, it's, like, LaCroix. Oh, okay. You know, like that. I could be wrong, but I don't care to find out. Right.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
But then I saw he'd, like, pour a Fresca, and I'm like, all right, that's not bad. And then he'd put, like, three pumps of, like, Starbucks sugar syrup in it. Yeah. Yeah, I have seen that. Dude. Not good. I mean, he said he can go through, like, several 12-packs a weekend. Yeah, it said he claims he can drink three 12-packs in a weekend. That's insane. That's a lot of sugar, dude.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
That's, like, four times the amount of soda I drink in a year. What does this person look like? Are they not, like— Well, maybe outside they look okay, but on the inside they probably are not doing so hot. Even with the sugar content of a soda, like, bro, the bubbies? That's a lot of bubbles going on.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Well, some of us are adults and our insides know how to deal with carbonation, unlike your fucking, you know, toddler insides. So the bubbies are not the problem. It's the sugar content. Frank, the human body, if you drink a lot of carbonated shit, will get bloated. Yeah, and you go like this. Bop. That's it. Bop. Sorry, Joey. I haven't burped in 20 years. I have a condition. Which is called what?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
There is a name for it. Oh, really? I'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought it was just like a little jokey thing. What did you think I was doing? I thought it was like a little like... I can't burp. So now you're going to bully me. Oh, is it like a serious medical condition? I didn't know that. It's not a serious medical condition. Are you okay? Don't act like you give a fuck now.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Why do they call sausage- Bangers a mush. Bangers. Bangers. Why do they call it bangers? I don't know. I imagine because you bite into them and the flavor bangs your fucking throat. Definitely. That's not a good way to say it. Definitely so many other ways I could have said that. A thousand. Infinite other ways. Honestly, yeah. Infinite. Several billion. Yeah. But we're excited to be there.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Everyone now, he just guilted me into saying that. So now everyone sit around and let's talk with him. Are you okay? This is what you wanted, right, bitch? No, it's not. Little bitch. You're mean. You're mean. And you're a bastard. Not in, like, the literal sense, but you're a bastard. You're being a bastard. Being a bastard. Yes. You have a father. I'll wear that. I do. I do.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
And he's a very, like, present. Yes. That's a lot. Three 12-packs in a weekend. You know what? I used to love soda, but then like— What was your favorite soda? Coca-Cola. Oh, yeah. I knew that. Yeah. You've made fun of me for that before. What's your favorite sodas? What? What the hell is that? Like your top five. Oh, Coca-Cola, Love Sprite. Love Sprite. Orange soda. That's like the worst one.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Who loves orange soda? Frankie loves orange soda. Okay. Is it true? Mm-hmm. I do, I do, I do, I do. Okay, fired. Are you wearing yellow socks? No. Why are you wearing yellow socks? I'm not. Those are cool. Oh, yeah, I am. They're like not just yellow. They're like Easter yellow. Yeah, baby pastels. I'm exploring my color palette with my clothing a little bit. They're socks.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
They're colorful socks though, bitch. Yeah. Sorry. I'm kind of hungry. I'm kind of hungry. Yeah. I get angry when I'm hungry. That's what I was saying. Yeah. So those are, those sodas are up there. I like those sodas, you know, but like, I don't like really hate, Oh, I hate cream soda and I hate root beer. Right. And anyone that likes those, do you like a canned Hawaiian punch?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
No, it feels wrong. It does. You know? I need to drink this out of plastic. Same with brisk. Although brisk... No, I like it in a can. I will say, yeah, I recanted that. Brisk and Nestea, the one that had the cool-looking... You know, like the cool-looking snowman on it? Yes. That's sick. I fucked with that. That was so good. Also... Iced tea is great. Not real. It was... Yeah. Sugar.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I remember the first time I had iced tea that was iced tea, and I was like, what the fuck is this? This sucks. Because I was drinking... Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I remember my dad used to get the powdered iced tea at the lake house. Yeah. Do you remember this? I would dump.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
no so growing up we had like the big picture i'm sure everyone everyone had the same look and the top spins yeah it's like one that has like it goes through like this and the other if there's ice in there yeah so we had that and like if you the rule of my house was like if you finish it then you have to make the new one and we would just pray to god that keith wouldn't finish it
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Because when this kid would make iced tea, half the bucket is going in here. There'd be an inch of sugar on the bottom of the thing, even if you stirred it like crazy. That's not surprising. Crazy. That is not. Darkest iced tea ever. Or with lemonade? Forget it, dude. Yeah, all those powdered drinks. But my dad would do it. And I remember he's like, hey, can you make it?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
We're going to try and see the sights. Frank's never been to the UK. I recently just went to Scotland. I've never been to London, never been to Dublin. Two places that I've wanted to go in my life. So really cool that the first time is going to be the Shays. It's going to be something. We might be a little sleepy getting over there because of jet lag. Jet lag. Yeah, jet lag. Don't it. Jet lag.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Yeah, dude. It was like 16 scoops. And I was like, dad, how is this possible? And he was just like, that's how it tastes good. I'm like, you're just drinking sugar at this point. Yeah. That is an insane amount of scoops. Yeah, my dad would say 16 scoops. But, yeah, I can't, the iced tea, if it's in a can, it needs to be carbonated for me. I can't do, like, fruit punch in a can, except iced tea.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
They get a pass only because of the cool logos. A snowboarding snowman? Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude, that's fire. He was like a skeleton snowman. Yeah, he was skeleton-y. He was skeleton-y.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
You know, but, like, I don't know any soda that I could drink that much and not, forget about the health concerns, just, like, not hate, you know? Three 12-packs in a weekend. That's insane, dude. When I was like 21, I couldn't do that with beer. Yes, you could. Yes, you absolutely could. I probably could at the lake. Yo, we should do that for a Santa Gato Studios video, a case race.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I can't drink a case of beer anymore, Frank. I think you can. I can't drink 30 beers. Are you insane? Teams. Me and you on a team versus two other people. That would also be very tough to drink 15 fucking beers. I think you could do it. In a day? In a day, yeah. It also depends on the way in which you're consuming it. If we were playing drinking games, we would be able to do it.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
But if we were just sitting down drinking out of a can, we might not. 15 is so insane. We could do it. I don't think I've ever drank a case of beer. That's just like water. I have during college. You drank a case of beer. There was a day I'll never forget. We woke up at like 9 a.m. and started drinking and drank all day until like 3 a.m. Yeah. Good Lord. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
It was a tough day. A lot of fun. You probably woke up the next day like, I'm good. I remember because this was weird. This is when the state of Connecticut was weird with their alcohol laws. Who? The state of Connecticut. Oh, oh. Where like you couldn't get it after 5 p.m. during the weekdays or some shit. And then you couldn't get it at all on like Sundays.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
And so we, I remember me and a bunch of my buddies in college drove to the New York, Connecticut border. And bought beer and then drove back to drink it. Wow. You probably drank on the way home like, yeah! I used to do that. I know. I know. No, you were allowed to drink. I still don't. Yo, I promise you that was the law because I looked it up. All right, so then at the time.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Not in New York State, but once you crossed the border into Connecticut, I was like, bang. Yeah. I was just opening up beers. Not driving. Let's make that very clear. No, no, no. I was a passenger. He was not in the driver's seat or probably even in the front seat. You were probably all the way in the back.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Our friend, who I won't say his name to incriminate him because he has a career, he didn't like when I did it. I don't blame him. I'll say that. Because it's terrifying. Yeah, I wasn't sitting in the passenger seat. It was a big truck, and I'd be in the back, and then I would just stare at my phone, and we would cross the border into Connecticut, and then you'd just hear psst.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
And he'd be like, yo, I'm already back here. You made it like a thing that like you were cracking it. You'd go, you know, but about drinking. I will say, I think I looked it up like within the last five years and I think it has changed. Well, honestly, probably good. But it's kind of a crazy law to begin with. Passengers over 21 can have open containers of alcohol in a vehicle. Still?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
That's what it says here. According to that Gemini, the AI thing that told the guy to kill himself. Right. Which, allegedly. Passengers over 21 can have open containers. Each passenger can have only one open container at a time. Drivers cannot have alcohol containers while driving. Yeah, that's an insane law. Yeah, that's stupid. There's no reason why you need to be drinking in a car.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
What's that? I don't know why I keep saying it. Yeah, go check it out at TheBasementHero.com. What's that? Can we see Platform 9 and 3 quarters? It is in a train station. It's at King's Cross, isn't it? Yeah. Is it? I don't know where it is. It has to be in London. It has to. Okay. Okay. I mean, might as well start, right? What do you mean?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
drivers can't have open alcohol containers in parking lots with 10 or more cars that makes no sense so they can in an empty one yo let's go to the parking lot of the stop and shop that's closed no i i i think maybe if the car is like in park and off i don't i don't know that's weird there is a law that like you can drink in your car as long as your keys aren't in your ignition
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Well now with, yes, I know what you're referencing. Now it's not even about just in the ignition. Like you can't even be sitting in the front seat because now most cars are pushed to start. Uh, you know, like, isn't that crazy? Our kids will never understand turning it like a car on like that, bro. Do you remember how fucking cool it was when those first came out of like push to start?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
You're like, yo, that is like luxury. Yeah. I remember when I got my Nissan, it had it in there and I was just like, yeah. Yeah. No keys. Push to start. Yeah, uh-huh. You know what it is. Everything I do, do it big. Yeah, uh-huh. Screaming. What does he scream? That's something. That's nothing. When I pulled off the lot. They stunting? That's stunting. That's stunting.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
But yeah, I remember push to start when it first came around. I don't like it. I like turning a key. I kind of do too because you can do it aimfully. But I also just like when a car doesn't start, it's like, I like the, I don't mind both of them. My old car, like the very first car I had, like I had to like rock in the front seat to get the starter going sometimes.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
That's how much of a piece of shit it was.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
would that help get the starter going because with the start like you if someone has a bad starter they say like move the car because that might like get it going you know so you'd be in your car i literally would be in my car rocking back and forth trying to until you'd see the car from the outside shaking and it worked sometimes what was your first car a 2001 nissan altima 2001 Nissan Altima.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
All black, murdered out. When did you get it? Murdered out is insane. Like a Nissan Altima. It's just a black car. No, but it had black illegal tints, black rims. You had illegal tints? Yeah. Why did you get them? So I bought it from a Dominican kid in like Bayside for $1,000. And it had the entertainment screen on it. I got it with like 134,000 miles on it.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Bro, I thought you were going to say 134. It had 134,000 miles on it? What do you think it was, $1,000? It was also 12 years old when I got it, Joey. That's so insane. Yeah. I rode that thing until it was dust. I remember that car. Dust. I remember the day I traded it in. I didn't have the tires were deflated. There was a broken flex pipe underneath. Probably pissed in that car.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
You know, that's a great question. I don't remember peeing in that car. That was something he only did as an adult. Got it. Okay. I remember once Espo and I were driving to the lake house and I hit something on the road and it broke a pipe underneath. So I would drive and you'd hear ding. And you literally look under and you would see the pipe like that.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
And I brought it to a, where I lived at the time, right next door was a mechanic. And he's like, this is going to cost like $1,200 to fix, or I can just tie it up. And I was like, just tie it up. Just tie it up. And he told me, he's like, okay, but you can't drive with the windows up because like the fumes can get in the car and you can pass out. And you were like, that's fine, I'll just.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Windows down. Yeah. I remember my mom's car. I was driving to go get like sandwiches with Keith or something. And we were listening to a song and I was looking at him and I didn't realize I was drifting and I drove over like, the shoulder and we were bouncing around, dude.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
And I pulled over finally and I looked under and there was like this metal part and there was just like these giant cuts in it. Oh yeah. I was like, I fucked this car up. I, uh, I one time pulled into ironically, uh, a liquor store and they were doing work on like the, the entrance from to the parking lot from the street. And I guess I had taken my eye off the road for a sec and I hit something and
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
It wasn't anything living. Right. It was already a dead person. No, I'm kidding. No, and then I got, I went, I like parked, went into the store, bought everything I was buying, came back and there was a puddle of oil. Like, and I had fucked up the oil pan underneath the car. Of your, oh my God. So I drove it to like the mechanic the next morning because on the way home, it was smoking bad.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Smoking? Oh yeah, it was smoking bad. Bad, dude. Yeah. That's fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My first car was like, it was nice. It was good. Yeah, no, mine was not. A Mazda 3, I think it was. Nice. It must be nice being you. $219 a month. Must be nice. I paid $1,000 cash for it. for what can only be described as the biggest piece of shit car on the planet.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
But I have a soft spot in my heart for that car. It did its job. We're all shocked that you missed your old car piece of shit. That thing was a piece of shit. I'm surprised you gave it back. Didn't keep it. I dropped it off. I dropped it off at the dealership. I traded it in. They gave me $1,500 for it. You made money on that car? Somehow. How many miles did it have when we came back?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Will you take a cart and drive it into the wall? I think the thing that they have there is they have a cart half sticking out the wall and you can pretend that you're pushing it and stuff like that. Yeah. We're going to be probably annoying Americans. Hell yeah. All of those places. Yeah, I don't think we have a choice. Maybe. Yeah, I don't know. In our blood. I mean, it is just who we are, baby.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I mean, technically, no, because I fucked up that pipe. Wait, how many miles did it have? Oh, 200,000? Probably, yeah. What the fuck? That's insane. Probably 200,000 miles on it. And they gave me $1,500 for it. And they didn't even, like, they didn't say, like, let's go see the condition. They were just like, we'll give, yeah, we'll just give you the, for the parts. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Little did they know those parts were dust. Yeah. They were tied up. They were held together by a literal string. Not an exaggeration, Joey. But yeah. I told you with my car, it got fucking smashed. Yeah. And the guy was like, oh, can you just pull it down the street? I'm like, dude, I'm scared that I'm going to turn the car and it's going to explode. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I literally couldn't shut the door and I had to drive it down the block. That's the other thing is I bent the door backwards on that one. How did you do that? Um... Oh, no, no, not backwards. So I was pulling out of, remember the gas station up the block from us in Astoria? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I pulled out and I was like, I guess I looked back for something and there was a street sign, like a no parking street sign and where the front, I don't know how it explains, but like where the door hinges and where the front bumper meets, there's like a crease right there and it hit there and it bent it backwards. So my car door couldn't open more than like this.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
So then I brought it to the guy that both of our dads know, the mechanic that was on 23rd Avenue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Joe's Garage. Joe, yeah. Yeah. And he used some tool on it where he put a crowbar in and there was a thing on a track and it was like a weight and he threw the weight back and it popped the thing out and he was like, you're good. Damn. Fire. So sick.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Being a mechanic is sick, but also socks. Yeah, yeah. I love the idea of just having dirty hands all the time. And a face that's dirty. And just like a... And my wife beater's all fucked up. Yeah. And he just like... And also you wear the same thing to work every single day and it has a cool little... Your name on it. Your name. You know?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Yeah, it's just me. You know? Yeah, it's no problem. I know your dad. He's a buddy of mine. Don't worry about it. Buddy. Always a buddy. He's always a buddy. Love that. Anyway, folks, those are our shitty cars. Well, one of us had a shitty car. I had a nice car. I did drive my dad's minivan for a very long time, and that was filled with sandwiches and newspapers. Yeah, that was a strange place.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Yeah, it was. We knew someone growing up that had a big, giant red van that just didn't have seats in the back, and we would drive places just sitting in the car. Hello, you're looking at him. That was me. No, there was somebody else, too. Mine was a red minivan. I know. This was a red work van. There was no windows. Who the fuck was it? I'll tell you after. I don't want to say any person's name.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
That's so strange because there was no seats in my dad's car. Yo, nothing. No bench. No, nothing. Like not even like you could see the rivets or where they took it out. It was just not there. Yeah, that was the same thing with my dad's van. It was weird. I delivered pizzas in that. Yeah, I would sit back there on the way to like Jones Beach. It was so weird, bro. Weird place. Weird place.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Things happen. Anyway, where can they find you, Frank? F Alvarez. Go find it. Guys, go follow the show at The Basement Yard on TikTok and Instagram. TikTok is still a thing. We don't even know yet. We have no idea. But also Patreon. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, that is all. Thank you guys so much for the support. See you guys next time.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
It's coursing through our veins to be annoying. Through our veins. Yeah, we're going to be really excited. Bro, I hope you do the entire Scotland show on the accent. That would be great. I don't know. Oh, my God, dude. We get to interact with the Scottish crowd and hear their voices. Yeah, do you think their laughs sound different, too?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Because, like, here in America, their laughs are like, ha, ha, ha, ha. Over there, they're like, ha, ha, ha, ha.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Oh, man. They're not going to be happy with us, probably. They're just going to be like, what are you guys? Mostly you, I would say. No, do you remember all that stuff? I can't do the accent. Oh, yeah, we talked about the royal wedding. But she's dead. I don't think anyone's fucking with this guy. Who's the guy? King Charles? With his sausage fingers?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
babies they kind of go like this well they rub their eyes but like i don't know baby babies or like what is the thing when people cry and they're like way who the fuck what fucking dumb ass bitch is crying like that yeah i cry without my hands on my face do you cry like you make it a point to no i cry and whenever i start getting myself going bro i'm crying at the drop of a hat lately man wait till you have kids i watched a movie that like
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
We probably should not talk about the King, Dad. They'll come get us. What's he gonna do? Probably several... There's several hundred years of history that suggests he might do something. He's gonna send his army of horses at us? Come on. You wouldn't be shook if you just woke up and there were several horses running in your direction? I'd be terrified. With lances and swords and all that?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
You'd be scared. I'm rewatching Game of Thrones, and it's honestly crazy that, like, people on horseback could kill— Like, you know what I'm saying? How hard is it to kill a guy on a horse? Why is that hard? Because it's happening very fast. Yeah, but just cut the horse's leg.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Like, now I feel like I'm— I think that's what they do in the show, is, like, they, like, take the horses out, and then— Like, isn't that what happens in Battle of the Bastards? Yeah, they like cut a horse's leg and he comes down and he fucking, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, that show, I've seen it once. Never need to see it again. I'm so okay. Unbelievable show.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Yeah, I mean, I think it definitely is a great show. It is not one of the greatest shows of all time. Easily. I stand by that. Easily. Not even top five. Easily. That's insane. No. I'm not even going to ask your top five because I don't care. But the reason that you love it so much is because of the production value. What? No, it isn't. How do you do something like that?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
What goes through your head that you're just so used to saying things that you're like, here's why you like it. When have I ever said that? So why do you like it? The storylines, Joey? Tell me one storyline. Frank. Oh, you like watching brothers and sisters fucking diddle bop, bing bang, bing bang, bangers and mash. Yeah, that's not why.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I think it's such an incredible show because there's like nine different storylines going on. The production value. That's not production value, dumbass. The fact that they can interweave. All right, the writing. You're a big fan of George R.R. Martin? Frank, that's the reason why anyone likes any show. And the acting is great. Acting's good. I will say that. It is good.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I think that a lot of people, they see that show. That show sent a benchmark for TV. After that, now shows are $50 million projects, and each episode is a million dollars. Not Severance, which is coming out, has 100 Rotten Tomatoes. You're saying... Oh, I haven't seen any of Severance. Is it good? It's good. I don't want to, like, act like it's, like, insane.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
But the reviews for the second season, which is coming out, like, next week or some shit, are, like, a hundred. Like, it's getting, like, praise. Like, whoa, one of the best seasons of a show ever. Wow. Which is, like, I think it's a good show. Okay. But if the second season is, like, great, then it definitely could be, like, yo. Okay. All right. We're not going to talk about shows the whole time.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Anyway. We could, baby. We can sit here and talk shows all day. I'm a show talker. I know. I love shows as well. Here's a more basement yard topic. We got more. You brought this up to me. And all I did was write down what you said. Yeah. And it says, son of only fan star explains why he takes pics for his mother. Yeah. Now it's your turn to tell me what?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Or I can just sit here and hold out and make you squirm like a little piggy. I don't even know how to respond to that. You don't respond to it. That's how... Because I'm going to put a ball gag in your mouth, you dirty little... What's going on with you over there? This kid woke up horny on the horny side of the bread. No, no, no, no. I'm not horny right now. No, I'm not horny right now. No.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
No, apparently there is an OnlyFans creator. Oh, a content creator. What do you call them? Creators. Models? Creators. Creators? That's what they call them. Okay. Who's they? The Earth. Gotcha. Okay. OnlyFans creators. Because OnlyFans is a product of the Earth. Correct. Yeah. But apparently, I don't know what her name is. I have the information on my phone, but I don't care to look at it.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Her son is the one that is the photographer behind the... There goes that photographer again. Come on. Behind the camera taking the pictures and presumably videos for his mother. Is she... Wait. I haven't seen, I don't know. Is this not against the law? Is there not a law? Why, babe? Why? I mean, I think it should be, but why would it be? Because that's like child abuse. He's of age.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I think he's in his, like, 20s. Okay, then he should be in jail. Or they should lock them both up separately. Yeah, together they might be. You never know what would happen. Fuck. No, but so people said like, that's weird. Weird? It's disgusting. We agree, right? Of course. If your mom. Frank. Okay. Don't finish your sentence. Okay, okay. But if your mom. Fuck you. Okay? Did you ever. No, no, no.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Wasn't even sad. Yeah. And I just... Recently, remember I told you I watch Home Alone? I was like, shit, this almost got me. Dude, we... So, Miles and I finally finished the Harry Potter watch-along. Okay. And this little guy... Did he cry? No. Someone did. There were two people in the room. Miles didn't cry. Who did? I don't know. Somebody figure this out.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I'm saying like if your mom. Don't point at me. Frankie. Yeah, sorry. Your mom. I was asking you, Hey, I'm going to take these photos or I'm going to, I need you to take these photos. I'd be pissed. She told me in the first place. Right. Do it on your own time. Right. I don't need to know about this. I understand now is a different place than the word, a different place in the world now.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Oh, we're not that different place that you're going to be taking naked pictures for your mother. Bro. Could you imagine? No, never in a million years. I don't care how close I am with my parents or my children like that. It ain't happening. I wouldn't do that for my friend. Joey. What? Joey. You, what? I don't like that you turned towards me.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
If I called you and said, yo, take pictures of my dong, dong sack butt. I'm throwing it online. You're not going to be like, I support you. That's not what you're asking. And take the pictures for you? I'm not taking the photos. Why? I don't need to. Just to be clear, I'm not taking them for you either. But I would expect more respect than I give you. Respect? Than I give you.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I'm not taking the photos. I'd be like, here's a link to a tripod. Set it up with a timer. But I'm not going to be there five inches from your heesh. Taking photos of it. I'll show you a tripod. Yeah, I bet you won't. That's bananas though. It is ridiculous. There's no excuse for taking naked photos of your mom. So someone asked him like, hey, what the hell? Sure. Yeah. Fair question.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
I have a question. Yes. My first question is what the fuck? Man in the back. Man in the black shirt. I already did the thing. Oh, do it again. Well, let's do it again. All right. We'll be fielding some questions. Hold on one second. I have a question. Okay. Yes. Man in the black shirt. Go ahead. What the fuck is going on? What the shithole?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
So he said, he was just like, it's not weird for me because I don't get horny. I consider it work. And then afterward, he goes, oh, and also because it's my mom, I'm not attracted to her. Yeah. See, you kicked that one under the dirt. You fuck. What am I saying? Kicked it under the rug. Who are you? You are me. I am you, me, you, and me. What? Yeah, no, that's disgusting. You can't be doing that.
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Ew. That should be illegal, though. You shouldn't... The first part should be like, yeah, I'm not attracted to my mom. Let's make that very clear. Burying that underneath the first part is weird. They're not beating the allegations there. How do you, as a parent...
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
approach your son like with this hey can you take some pictures for me i imagine all right let's role play here i'm daddy you're my son okay you ready you're not daddy let's get that all right all right what do you call your dad dad okay i am i am daddy go ahead go ahead
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
Oh, it's on me to initiate. I'm sitting in my room. Hey, sport. I need to talk to you for a sec. Do you mind coming and sit down right here on Papa's lap?
The Basement Yard
#488 - You Have A Weird Relationship With Your Mom
am 24. okay you're 24 again in this situation all right all right no i'm joking around just joshing you haha skirt okay um skirt how would you bring that up i would say hey listen i um i have to take some pictures for work um but i really don't have anyone to take i don't have a tripod and i need to get them done soon do you mind help me out what kind of pictures Just stuff for work.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
What the hell does that mean? I don't know. He's funny now? I don't know. He's telling jokes down there? Knock, knock. What's the deal with peanuts?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Jesus. She has a whole song. This song is called Juno. That's horny as fuck. And if you're a parent out there that's upset about the concert, just listen to this song and be like, maybe I shouldn't bring my 8-year-old. Do we not remember like... Fucking Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl, like basically giving a handjob to Justin Timberlake.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Bro, at her concerts, she used to get up there and she would OTPHJ to men. Just random guys. Over the pants handjob. Just random recipients of handjobs at Janet Jackson shows. They'd be like tied up on a cross. I don't know if she does this at every concert, but I've seen videos. She's like tied up on a cross and she's like... Ich kann sehen, warum sich eine Kreuzung an einer Kreuzung befindet.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ein gewisser Teil der Leute würde sich über das befinden. Und ehrlich gesagt, ich kann sehen, warum sogar eine mehr intensivere Teil der Leute sich über das befinden, wenn man sich über die Herrschaft und den Heiligen verabschiedet. Nein, es geht nicht um Gott. Wenn du an einer Kreuzung eingekleidet bist, ich weiß nicht, ob es eine Kreuzung war, ich weiß nicht, ob es eine Form war. Whatever.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
But Sabrina Carpenter, this is one of her songs, Hot Start. Juno, you said. It's called Juno. Okay. Don't have to tell your hot ass a thing. Oh yeah, you just get it. Whole package, babe, I like the way you fit. Now already... Oh, that's dick. We're talking about penis in things.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Eingepackt ist ein bisschen viel. Sie haben sich verletzt. Sie waren verletzt. Sie waren verletzt. Sie waren verletzt. Sie waren verletzt. Sie waren verletzt. Sie waren verletzt. Sie waren verletzt. Don't try to change the subject. Honestly, I tried to get out of that one a little bit.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I mean, she did talk about a giant wiener. Oh wait, it gets worse? Oh boy, what happened? Wait, dude, why does the world get so freaked out when women explain that they are sexual beings? So this is adore me, hold me and explore me. Mark your territory. I don't know if that's peeing. That's piss, dude. That might be piss. Dogs are going crazy for that one. Yeah, exactly.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Tell me I'm the only, only, only, only one. Adore me, hold me and explore me. I'm so fucking horny. Oh, Jesus Christ. All Subtext is gone out of the window here. Then there's another song called Bed Cam. I don't know. Bed Cam. And on this one, it just says... Why?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
So... Wait, what? She says, come right on me. Come right on... Come right on me. I thought it was come right on me. But that doesn't make sense. Aber sie hat gesagt, komm gleich auf mich. Das ist verrückt, Alter. Das ist verrückt. Ich sage, Eltern, das ist auf dich. Sie macht das. Sie macht das. Du brauchst einen Wettbewerber, den deine Kinder zuhören. Mein Bruder ist 12 Jahre alt.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Er hat auf seinen Lungen geschaut. Ich rieche Arsch. Du denkst, meine Mutter war mit 50 Cent wütend? Oder ein junger Mann? Oder Lloyd Banks? Nein, sie ist furchtbar auf meinen Bruder.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Das ist furchtbar. Eltern, wenn ihr jemanden furchtbar macht, seid furchtbar auf euch selbst. Technologie ermöglicht es, bestimmte Dinge zu beurteilen. Geht besser daran. Geht besser daran, mein Gott. Was macht ihr? Bringt nicht Sabrina. Sie ist da oben. Sie singt den Song Come Right On Me. Ich würde sagen, das ist verrückt. Aber es ist nicht ihr Fehler.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
It was a fraudulent slip. I will say, as someone who knows someone that has written poems. Ihr seid Freunde mit Edgar Allan Poe? Nein, ich bin Freunde mit Francisco, dem Poeten Laurean. Ich würde sagen, das ist ein beeindruckendes Wortspiel. Das würde Poeten wie Francisco sehr traurig machen. Weil das beeindruckend ist. Weil du gesagt hast, dass du auf mich schreiben würdest. Ich schreibe nichts.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich schreibe auch nichts. Ich würde das nicht schreiben.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich bin so traurig, dass du es zuerst gedacht hast. Nein. Was ist mit, und das kommt jedes paar Jahre auf, aber jederzeit, wenn eine Frau sexuell ist, wie Männer, Männer sind da draußen und sagen, hier ist mein fucking Dick und Ball, Alter. Und die Leute sind einfach so, sie sind Jungs, sie sind Männer. Und dann sind die Mädchen so, oh ja, ich mag Sex auch.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Und sie sind so, du kontrollierst dich, Frau. Was zur Hölle? Wir sind ein Bunch of Prudes. Es ist ein Doppelstand. Was ist da los? Oder die Jungs, die sagen, oh, nicht dein Baby im Publikum breastfeeden. Ich lasse dich jetzt wissen. Was? Männer, ich spreche mit dir. Und Mädchen, zeig es den Männern in deinem Leben.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Wenn du ein Problem hast mit einer Frau oder jemandem, der im Publikum breastfeedet. Das sind Bananen. Du bist der niedrigste, dummste, kleines Schwert von der Scheiße auf diesem fucking Planeten. Okay?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
You are so stupid. What is wrong with you? You sucked on a tit once. You're just jealous you ain't sucking on tits, are you, boy? That's true. And also, what do you want to do?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Auf Flugzeugen? Weißt du was? Nimm den Titt in den Mund! Weißt du was? Das ist, was du tun solltest. Leute, wenn ihr euch über jemanden verletzt macht, wir werden eure älteste Diarrhea-Dinosaurier-Mutter bekommen und ihr den Titt verletzen. Wie ist das? Franky, du versuchst jetzt als Champion für Frauen zu sein und jetzt bist du nicht respektiert. Ich bin ein Champion. Ich spreche für sie.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Frank, that's a bad outfit. Who do you send that to? Nobody. Not yet. I'm letting it marinate. And then I'll probably send it back to you one day when you say something to me. And I'll just be like, here. No, that's a good outfit.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Weißt du, was ich meine? Das ist Teil des Shows. Gott. Und es ist lustig, weil diese Leute... Die Eltern, die sich verletzt haben, waren die Eltern, die sich auf Wham und New Kids on the Block interessierten. Und bevor das... David Bowie. Der kommt mit seinem Penis raus. Ja, David Bowie. Und du wirst so verletzt werden, Warte, was war die WAM-Song?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Das ist eine andere, die ich mir vorgestellt habe. Ich hasse diese Song, übrigens. Das ist eine tolle Song, Joey.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Trashbags. Es ist so gut, Alter. Es ist nicht. Du bist verrückt. Ich will nicht in diese Rallye gehen. Was ist die WAM-Song, aber? WAM. Oh, sind die Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go? Wenn das so ist, dann tut das nicht gut. Let me see, most famous wham songs.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. Nailed it. Last Christmas. How do you land on that as your band name? Wham? Just like a... You know what I mean? I don't know. The Edge of Heaven is another song. The Edge of... Edging in Heaven. I guess so. George Michaels on there. Speaking of... George Michaels is in Wham? He was Wham. Before he was Wham in Fangs, he was Wham in Wham. George Michaels is gay?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
The gayest, dude. I don't know. I get confused. He got in trouble for like whamming pee-pee in like a public bathroom.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
What? George Michaels was whamming wangs in bathrooms? Oh, I hope I'm right on this. Whamming the wangs in the washroom. Yeah, because the joke was in Arrested Development that he was named George Michael. And then he was like, he changed it to George Maharis, who was another person I got in. George Michael Controversy. I feel like Frank is basing... Came out as gay in 98. Active LGBT.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Yeah. He was arrested in 98 for public lewdness. Oh. And multiple drug-related offenses. Oh, okay. He was wanging. He was cruising for sex. That's literally... That's not what's written in there. He was cruising? Yeah. He was really jonesing for a penis. His only crime, cruising for sex. In Hempstead Heath Park in London. Nice. Yeah, what was this lewd act?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I think it was when he was in parks just like, yo, going crazy on glory holes and shit. But, yeah, you didn't know he was, you didn't know. Wham? I mean, I barely know Wham, dude. That's from like the 70s. Am I making that up? I don't know. Ah, 80s, I believe. Yeah, mid to late 80s. Where did Wham come from? Where didn't it come from? I guess, yeah. Kamaraderie. Kamaradamie. Yeah, there it is.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Listen, they are the sum of their parts. Let me explain that really quickly. I look great in that outfit. As I do in this one. I'm not wearing pink and black Adidas. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. They can't see my bottom half, so as far as they know, it doesn't exist. Whatever. Hast du jemals die Idee gehört, dass Schrödingers Katze oder Schrödingers Box oder was auch immer... Pause.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
That's where it came. Wow, crazy. And I can't believe you don't like Last Christmas. That's a good one. I don't like hate. It's just not like, yo, it's a banger. I mean, I'm not saying it's the best, but I'm saying it's good. You're saying it's trash. That's what you said.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Das könnte auch für Sex sein. Letztes Weihnachten habe ich dir mein Herz gegeben. Das könnte eine sexuelle Sache bedeuten. Am nächsten Tag hast du es weggegeben.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Wie gibst du jemand anderes sein Herz weg? But that wouldn't... Very next day you gave it away. Oh yeah, maybe. This year to save me from tears. I gave it to someone special. Yeah. New love. Beautiful. Wham. Christmas. Who else was in Wham? Frank. I didn't even know George Michael was in it. I'm shocked you didn't know that. I had no idea. Wham! Members. Come on. Frank, it doesn't matter.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
It's a 400-year-old band. Joey, 35-year-old band. Andrew Ridgely. Don't know it. Dion Estes. Don't know it, too. Hugh Burns. You guessed it. Danny Cummings. Spelled the way you would expect. Spellt nach Sabrina Carpenter. Verrückt. Aber wenn du deine eigene Impfung bekommst, bist du wahrscheinlich so, dass du nicht weißt, ob du den gleichen Doktor zurückgehen kannst oder nicht.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Und bevor sie an diesem Show gesponsert wurden, hatte ich den ZocDoc, um zu finden, welche Doktoren in meinem Bereich meine Impfung genommen haben. Und wer ist ein guter Doktor? Ich habe keine Ahnung. Ich bin mein ganzes Leben lang nur zu einem gegangen. Also mit diesem ist es eine gratis App und Website, wo du searchen und vergleichen kannst, hohe Qualität in Network-Doktoren.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Und Sie können den richtigen für Ihre Bedürfnisse wählen. Es ist nicht nur Primärwissenschaftler, obwohl es das ist. Aber Sie können auch Spezialisten finden, wie ich, Skincare, Dermatologen und so weiter. Also Sie können all das mit diesem finden.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
And you can do so right now, so stop putting it off. Stop putting your doctor's appointments off and go to zocdoc.com slash basement to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's zocdoc.com slash basement. Okay, so go check it out, zocdoc.com slash basement. Und wir haben auch, hallo, FitBod. FitBod wird dich in Form bringen.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Sie werden dir eine personalisierte Routine für dich, deine Ziele und dein Fitnesslevel und, was du zur Verfügung hast.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Hast du das jemals gehört? Pause-Button. Wer ist das? Schrödinger. Ja, nein. Wer ist das? Ich weiß nicht, wer es ist. Ich kenne Nicole Schwarber. Ich kenne Kyle Schwarber. Ich kenne Kyle Schwarber auch. Und du kennst Nicole... Ich kenne Dr. Scholz. Ist das eine echte Person? Dr. Scholz? Es ist der Fußgänger. Ich weiß nicht, es gibt viele falsche Ärzte, die sich in seltsame Positionen befinden.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
oder sie haben kein Equipment und keinen Zugang zu einem Gym, was auch immer es ist, sie können eine personalisierte Routine für Sie entwickeln. Sie adaptieren sich zu Ihrem Wachstum, also ist jedes Workout anstrengend genug, um Sie zu fördern, um Erfolg zu erzielen, was gut ist.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Es ist schön, dass Profis eine Routine für dich machen, die dir und deinen Bedürfnissen zusammenhängt, um dich zu folgen. Es ist einfach und du kannst lernen. Und es ist besonders beruflich, weil sie auch über 1.000 Demonstrationen-Videos haben.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Also wenn du nicht wirklich weißt, wie man bestimmte Dinge macht und du hast Termine gehört, wo du denkst, ich weiß nicht, was das ist, kannst du neue Bewegungen lernen, in der richtigen Weise, mit über 1.000 Demonstrationen-Videos. Es ist beruflich in dieser Weise. Bis zum nächsten Mal.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Und während du da bist, wenn du etwas benötigst, um dich auf dieser Fitness- oder Gesundheitsjourney zu unterstützen, dann gehst du gerne an den Patreon. Bing, bang, bing, bang, bing. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Leute, vielen Dank, dass ihr so viel für uns weitergibt, um uns zu wachsen. Und bop, bop, bop, bop zum Top.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Wir erzählen euch immer über es, aber ich möchte sicherlich, dass ich es euch noch einmal erzähle. Oder Joe wird, du hast es verstanden, einen Blut in den Hintergrund legen. So, go to patreon.com. You sign up for that first tier. You get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. And then there are more tiers.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
There's more stuff on there. I don't have them memorized. I didn't memorize the script. I'm sorry. Greg is behind the camera right now with cue cards. And now he's flipping me off. Okay, well, nonetheless, go to Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Any of the old episodes, if you're brand new to Patreon, that are on there or that you haven't seen or whatever, are gonna be available for you.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
There's hundreds of hours of content from us. So go check it out right now. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. We thank you guys so much for continuing to help us grow. We have announced some new stuff that's going on for our Patreons. And we're not gonna say it in here yet, but check it out. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Before we move further, bitch. Um... Fucker.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I was driving on my way here and I thought of a science question and I feel like I need to ask... Yes, ask the science question. Well, I mean, you and I... Here's the thing. We're scientists. We're not scientists, but we are very good at piecing together possible logic. Figuring out the secrets of the world. Well, yes, because whether it be physics, chemistry...
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
We can figure it out for the most part. But I was driving and I was like, I looked at my speedometer and I was going 70 miles an hour. And I was like, okay. I looked next to me and there was a ball, a baseball in my car. Don't ask me why I have a baseball in my car. I have one. And then I was like, wait a sec. This baseball is moving 70 miles per hour. So if I were to take this baseball
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Und Nicole Schwerzinger. Scherzinger. Scherzinger. Scherzinger.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Und wenn ich es so hart wie möglich schiebe, sagen wir, ich kann auch 70 kmh schießen. Okay. Würde das Ball dann 140 kmh fahren? Weil ich 70 plus 70 mache? Nein. Warum nicht? Weil... Nein. Aber es bewegt sich mit mir in der Fahrt. Alles in der Fahrt bewegt sich mit der Geschwindigkeit der Fahrt. Wenn ich auf die Bremsen schiebe, wird das Ball rollen, weil es seine Bewegung hält.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Sie war wie ihr Kind und Arnold Schwarzenegger. Ja. Ich... Wer ist die Katze? Die Katze. Schrodingers Box. Du hast noch nie die Idee von Schrodingers Box gehört? Nein. Schrodingers Katze?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Well, because that is a different direction, a different law of gravity, like the law of gravity is moving it that way now.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Yeah, it will. No, it will die down very quickly. But if I throw, if it's in my, if I'm going 70 in the car and I throw it, It's going faster than 70. If it's going ahead of the car. No. Why not? Like Frank, 140 miles an hour is so fast. If you're in the back of a pickup truck. Yes. And you throw the baseball 70 miles. Like you could throw 70 miles an hour. You throw it and you're going 70.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I don't think it's going 140. Does the direction in which I'm throwing it matter? Of course. We're talking about wind here. So if I throw it with the wind. That's what I mean. Yeah, of course you're throwing it that way. So then why wouldn't it? Ich denke, das ist ein Weg, um es umzugehen. Nein. Also, ja, Alter.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
If I have a ball, I'm driving 70 miles per hour. Let's use your example of a pickup truck since you're white. Okay. And I have the ball in my hand and I throw it in the air like this. Nothing crazy, not like a fucking pop-up. Like I throw it like right here. And then someone... Gently, let's not say slams, but gently presses the brakes. That ball is still going 70 miles per hour.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Because it has to do with a cat. It's like a quantum physics theory. If you were to put a box in the corner and I tell you there's a cat in there, they're like, there is a cat, but there isn't a cat or some shit like that. It's a fucking crazy... Now I gotta look it up just to make sure I'm not fucking this up. I mean, you haven't even said anything.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
It's at rest. Yeah, but it's not at rest because it is in relative movement with the car. But not kinetically. But if I were to slam the brakes, the kinetic energy would transfer to that ball. I don't know. Now we're losing each other here. Parabola. I don't know. Mathematics, bitch. Although it does have some roots in science as well. You don't know what you're talking about. I am Dark Maga.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Weil der Wind den Scheiß drückt. Das ist nicht meine Furcht. Wir fahren in einem Vakuum. Vergiss den Back of the Pickup Truck. Ich bin in einem Auto. Du hast das gemacht. Du hast einen Ball in der Hand. Autos sind Vakuum, oder? So the car is going 70 miles an hour, right? And you throw a ball in the air. It comes right back down in your hand. Yep.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
So, all right. So I hear what you're saying. So let's say we're in a party bus. And how did you think that was going to change anything? Lass uns sagen, wir sind auf einem Party Bus und wir spielen Catch. Wir sind auf einem Party Bus und wir spielen Catch. Ich bin auf der Rückseite des Party Buses und du bist auf der Vorderseite des Party Buses. Und der Party Bus geht 70 Meilen pro Stunde.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Jesus, übrigens. Wir sind tot. Das Ding sollte sich langsamen. Übrigens, bringe Party Buses zurück. Ich bin da. Ja, okay. Erinnerst du dich, als Kinder Spitzballen auf unserem Party Bus hatten?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Yeah, and we were joking, we were gonna like stop the bus and get out and chase them. Oh! I honestly missed that, I didn't see it, but whatever. But, we're playing, being dudes, playing catch with a baseball in a party bus. Typical guys. Party bus is traveling 70 miles per hour. Right. Okay. You could toss me the ball. What do you think, Frank?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I think it's then gonna... It's gonna go 70 miles an hour to my glove? Are you fucking okay? Obviously that's not gonna happen. I think it might. It won't. Why? Frank, I wouldn't be able to catch you. You're at the back of the bus. And then I'm in the front of the bus and I throw it as hard as I can. Is it getting the speed of the 70 plus my incredibly hard throwing speed? Absolutely not.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
You put a box in the corner, you tell me there's a cat in there, and then what? Schrodingers cat. So Schrodingers cat is a quantum... Es wird gedacht, dass ein Experiment Sieh, es wird hier zu wortig. Ist das ein Comic-Buch-Ding oder ist das ein reales Leben-Ding? Okay.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Hank, ich brauche deine Hilfe. Ich weiß, nimm ihn an. Ich nimm ihn an, ja. Hank Green, ich möchte nur sagen, ich liebe diesen Kerl.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
ein Bild eines Tieres, das ist verrückt. Das ist großartig. Und dann sende ich einen zurück und wir haben eine kurze Konversation und das ist es. Ich bin ein bisschen traurig, ich werde ehrlich sein. Und dann schickt er einen raus.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Nein, ich werde nicht. Warum nicht? Ich weiß es nicht. Ich habe nur Okay, fair genug. Wir sind nicht auf meiner Ebene. Du wirst es nie wissen. Frank, wir sind auf einem Duck-Konversationsniveau. Ich kann es nicht sagen. Er wartet nur auf dich, um den Eis mit einer wissenschaftlichen Frage zu brechen. Das ist, was er tut. Franky, du kommst nicht richtig. Ich glaube, du kommst nicht richtig.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich denke, wenn du... Warte. Du bist kein Idiot. Ich weiß. Ich weiß. Du kannst nicht cosplayen. Cosplay? Don't cosplay is a fucking moron. I'm not cosplaying as an idiot. I really think so. Now you are an idiot.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Which always gets pissed all over. Of course. And then that one girl throws up all over it. We know who you are. Erica. I was gonna say Sarah. Oh, alright. Yeah, that works too. Both white names. Oh, you weren't at that party bus, were you? You were on a party bus with someone's mom?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
We were on a party bus for a girl that we knew named Erica Sweet 16 and I was stone cold sober and she stopped the bus to come up to me and smell my breath. She stuck her nose in my mouth. Weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Was anyone drunk? No, I wish I was drunk, I'll be honest. I'm just, you know, some of us have a good time because we're naturally just fun people. Frank. What? But, okay.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I'm in the back of the bus and then you're in the front of the bus. We're traveling that way. I guess the other way would be with the speed. So I'll be in the front of the bus, you'll be in the back of the bus. And I throw a baseball. You think that if I just go like this, it's going to go 70 miles an hour? No. But if you throw it hard, it will. If I throw it as hard as I can?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Das ist ein Gedanken-Experiment, das von dem österreichischen Physiker Erwin Schrödinger, guter Name, übrigens, besucht wird, welches er designt, um einen Paradoxus der Quantensuperposition zu illustrieren, in dem ein hypothetischer Katz entweder lebendig oder tot ist, weil sein Tod zu einem randomen Ereignis verbunden ist, das möglich oder nicht passieren kann.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Well, because it is moving, because it is... Hold on, I'm on the verge of something here. Frank, you know that that's not going to happen. I have a breakthrough here.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
But now if you throw it, there are different forces acting upon it. Gravity, friction. Frank, that doesn't mean anything. Schrodinger's cat. He's back.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Let's get on a party bus and test this. I think that there is a test. The Mythbusters can help us out with this one. Frank, I... A seventh grader could help us out with this one. Let's get Hank Green, the Mythbusters, Neil deGrasse Tyson.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Anyone over eight years old. I think if we put together that super team of people right there. The Avengers of physics. We might be able to figure this out. To half understand. This might be the hardest question ever asked.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going, Frank? You okay? I'm good. You sure? What's going on? Are you okay? I feel good. Your feely. I fully expect that you're... Touchy feely. I am a touchy feely guy. I've learned to stop. What does that mean? Like, remember when we were kids, you said, like, I'd always, like, play with the buttons on your shirt and shit like that?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Exactly. That wouldn't happen. I think it would. Because if you're throwing with this speed, because it is traveling in that direction, so if you throw it backwards at the same, it needs to be at the same or faster speed in order to really get it going. Right? Don't write. I'm not on your side. I'll be honest with you. I'm not fucking around here.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I think that there is more to support my claim, we just can't figure it out because we're not scientists, than there is to support your claim. No, Frank, explain then how, if I'm holding a baseball and I throw it up in the air in a car and it comes back down, why it doesn't go flying? Weil es nicht genug Zeit hat, um eine andere direktionale Veränderung anzunehmen. Wenn du es drückst... Hör auf.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Oh, ich höre. Wenn du es höher drückst, dann wird die Gravität und so etwas es senken, und dann wird es zurückgehen. Oder vorwärts. At 70 miles an hour? I don't know the exact speed, but I imagine that there's some addition. It's an addition of speed. You're adding speed to speed. That makes it faster, right? When you hit NOS, what happens? NOS?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Are you talking to Mr. Diesel right now? Mr. Diesel. Mr. Diesel. We're on a first name basis, Vin and I. Now you have something for a fight scene in the next Fast and Furious movie. A baseball. Just get a really cool baseball pitcher that also wants to be in movies. Let's use Emanuel Classe as an example. Closer for the Cleveland Guardians. He could throw hard.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Get a fight scene between him and a real bad guy. Someone real bad. Played by Mark Wahlberg or something. I don't know. And have the whole fight scene just be about Emanuel Classe throwing baseballs to defend himself. Randy Johnson. There you go. He's a photographer now. I know. Isn't that crazy? It is crazy. But also, guys killed two birds. Richtig.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich denke, dass es einige Gründe gibt, um da zu stehen. Nein, es gibt keine.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich bin wirklich gespannt, ob die Leute das herausfinden. Ich hoffe, dass die Wissenschaftler, die das anschauen, uns helfen können. Ich weiß nicht, ob ihr es seht. Wir können nicht die richtige Antwort entdecken. Aber unsere Kalkulationen... Einer von uns kann es nicht. Nein, Bitch. Was zur Hölle weißt du? Ich weiß alles.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ja, ich würde sagen. Ja, ja. Wenn es ein Prozent war auf all das Wissen des Universums. Oh, wie viel ich weiß? Ja. Weniger als 1%. Ja, da ist kein Weg. Ich glaube nicht, dass jeder 1% ist. Okay, sagen wir mal das Wissen der Erde. Das ist das Wissen der Erde. Wenn wir das Universum sagen, natürlich, weil das Universum niemals aufwächst.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Yeah, I know, right? Yeah, why'd you even bring that up? Because I'm making fun of your stupid sweater. And there's no connection? No. So, see, this is why you just call it yourself.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Frank, du kannst die Vereinigten Staaten machen, du kannst es in New York machen, du kannst es klein machen. Wirklich? Ja. In diesem Raum? Ich weiß es nicht. Ich habe ein Prozent. Glaubst du, du weißt mehr über Dinge, als ich?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
If we were to just have like a general thing, like general trivia, not about a specific, like anything in particular, do you think you know more or less than me? I don't know. Yeah, that's a really good question, because I want to bury you here, but I can't, honestly. And I think it speaks a lot to my knowledge to not do that.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Not everything, but I try to, when I am into something, I try to get to know as much as I can. But there are some things that you're just like. You have no knowledge of it whatsoever. Modern music. Anything pop culture. I wouldn't say no knowledge. I would say in the grand scheme of things, I would know a lot. Frank, if it wasn't downloaded at some point on an iPod Touch, you don't know it.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Okay, go on. And I loved my iPod Touch. I love how you're talking shit about iPod Touches. I'm not talking about iPod Touch. I'm talking about iPod Touch. We have sponsors. We have more sponsors for today. That was insane. You heard that? That was crazy, honestly. I almost ate my own face just now. Good job. That's all I gotta say. Okay. But we have Stitch Fix.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Stitch Fix, if you want to keep your wardrobe nice and... Das war's für heute. Es sind Brands, die du kennst und liebst. Und dann kriegst du eine Box und du hast alles. Und du denkst dir, wow, okay, jemand, mein persönlicher Stylist, hat all das ausgewählt. Und dann zahlst du nur für das, was du behältst. Und die Rückzüge sind immer gratis. Also, es ist so.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Also, ich bin mir ziemlich sicher, du kannst, wie oft du diese Box holen willst, du kannst das machen. Aber ja, es macht den Stil einfach, weißt du. Also es ist toll. Also Shopping und Stylistik, es kann überwältigend sein. Du gehst da rein. Ich mag es nicht, in Storchen zu gehen und zu sagen, ich muss in den Rack gehen, ich muss alles anschauen und so weiter. Ich liebe das nicht wirklich.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Correct! You got me! So the knowledge is not necessarily knowing about things, it's just knowing things. So like I know about Schrodinger's cat. I don't know what the hell it is though. So that's enough to start a conversation. Like look, give me something that you know a lot about and I don't. Let's say F1, okay? Seriously.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Also würde ich lieber einfach online gehen und jemand anderen etwas auswählen lassen. Keine Räume, keine Linien, nichts davon.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Okay, that is again stitchfix.com slash basement. And we also have PrizePix. PrizePix, it's the best place to get real money sports action. Okay, with over 10 million members and billions of dollars awarded in winnings, PrizePix has made daily fantasy sports accessible to all.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
travis kelsey will he have more or less than 70 receiving yards stuff like that and you can win up to 100 times your money which is as little as four picks uh depending on what you know line up you're kind of putting in um but yeah so it's a lot of fun my friends love it and yeah it's like easy to understand it's just more or less also if you really like to build uh you know
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ja, dann kriegst du sofort 50 Dollar, wenn du die 5 Dollar Line-Up spielst, okay? Und letztlich haben wir hier Skims. Skims! Frank hat gerade aufgelegt, weil Frank ein großer Skims-Typ ist. Ich bin ein großer Skims-Typ. Er ist ein großer Skims-Typ, okay?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ja, ja, würde ich sagen. Und... It looks good, too. That's all I'm going to say. I don't want to make any claims.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I can't be backed by science, personally. It looks good? I look great. It looks good on you. I look okay, honestly. Because I'm fully naked, I don't look great. Have more confidence. You look great, Frank. You've never seen me fully naked.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Skims, they make very comfortable underwear and you've probably seen it for women, but they also make it for men. Alright, so for all you men out there.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Nehmt ein paar Skims, ein paar komfortablen Unterhauern für eure Verliebten, okay? Und sie sind lüftbar, okay? Nichts, was euch alle schmerzt oder so, es wird schön sein. Okay? Aber kauft Skims-Männer, kauft Skims-Männer auf Skims.com, lasst sie wissen, dass wir euch gesendet haben.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Nachdem ihr euren Beweis gelegt habt, klickt auf Podcast in der Survey und klickt auf unser Show in dem folgenden Dropdown-Menü. Also, all you ladies out there, you want your men to look right? Go get them some Skims for Christmas, okay? Stuff that in the stocking.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
And I'm not trying to make fun of the fact that you just watch cars go fast in a circle. F1, man. Ich kenne F1, aber ich kenne es nicht von F1. Das war dein Beispiel? Du denkst F1, Mann. Nein, ich würde es sehr schnell herausfinden. Denn es gibt Leute, die es nicht interessieren, darüber zu sprechen. Sie wollen manchmal nur darüber sprechen, was sie lieben. So I can be like, dude, F1, right?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
But yeah, and if you're looking for the perfect gifts for the whole family, Skims just launched their biggest holiday shop ever, also available at Skims.com. So Skims.com, let them know we sent ya. Alright? Very nice. Yeah, I don't want to make any promises about Skims that I can't back up.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I've never heard that one. Oh no, that's not how you say it. You write a check that your ass can't cash? Is my ass the cash? I don't know. Where is the cash? Is it in my mouth or in my ass?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Don't write a check that you don't have the funds for. It's not that your mouth... Don't write a check that will bounce off your ass.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Don't write a check. Don't write checks that your mouth can't cash? Don't let your mouth write checks your body can't cash. That's not right either. What was the beginning of it? That's right. Your mouth is writing a check the rest of your body can't cash.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
What does it say? Don't let your mouth write a check that your ass can't cash. That's the one. Ah. Also sag nicht, dass du nicht zurückkommen kannst. Erstens, wie werden wir die Wissenschaftsfragen beantworten? Wir können das gar nicht. Wir können das gar nicht korrekt beantworten. Das ist verrückt. Ich wünschte, dass ich da war, als diese Dinge zum ersten Mal gesagt wurden.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Weil du weißt, dass jemand sagt, Oh mein Gott. Das war ziemlich cool. Das war ziemlich cool. Das war ziemlich krass, Alter. Da war jemand in einer Bar-Fight und er war so... DON'T WRITE A CHECK I CAN'T REMEMBER IT NOW DON'T LET YOUR MOUTH WRITE A CHECK THAT YOUR ASS CAN'T CATCH Ja, hast du jemals den von Blade gehört? Hast du jemals... Sehen Blade? Ja, gesehen Blade. Wie Wesley Snipes' Blade?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Der einzige Blade zu... Oh, es gab eigentlich ein TV-Show mit Sticky Fingers. Aber ja, mit Wesley Snipes. Sticky Fingers. Ja, ich habe Blade gesehen. Erinnerst du dich an den Satz, den er aus dem Film sagt?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ja. He says a lot of motherfuckers. But he says like some motherfuckers always trying to ice skate uphill. Das ist so ein guter Satz. Hat jemand jemals auf Eiskaten gespielt? Hat jemand jemals auf Eiskaten gespielt? Wie ist das nicht wie ein Olympischen Sport? Eiskaten auf Eiskaten? Ja, das ist hart. Das ist so unglaublich dumm.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Frank, wir gehen in kleinen Trucks, nicht Trucks, aber wir gehen in kleinen Schleifen und schlagen auf Eiskaten.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Belittle what your brother almost did in the Olympics. I can't wait till he gets a hold of this. He's just like, what the hell?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
You just have to run with it. I'll be honest with you. Faster than other Olympians. I'll be very honest with you. Be honest with me. I don't see this skill in bobsledding.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I've done it on tubes at mammoth falls and lake compounds. Say tubes again.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
It's just swimming. Of course it's impressive. It's a full body workout. Oh, what about track and field? It's just running. It's a full body workout. In track and field, you need great stamina, you need to be fast, you need, you know, muscles. So, okay, you're pushing... You get in a little... You push it... You run and you push this heavy sled. Okay, and then you sit in a little fucking pod.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
And then you have to, there's like a steering something. Oh man, so I could be an Olympic fucking player of Need for Speed Underground 2 because I just gotta steer something?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
And you go like, yeah, and then you just like unfurl just all this knowledge about F1. Right. So there you go.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Oh mein Gott, wie wenn ich in einem 1985-Film gefoltert werde.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Weißt du, was ich am anderen Tag gemacht habe, das mich sofort zurückbringte?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Klasse? Was noch? Einen Tag werde ich über diesen Tisch fliegen. Und ich werde dich mit den 30 Jahren von Megazord-Händen zerstören.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich würde sagen, ich habe eine Vending-Maschine benutzt. Und ich musste das Ding mit dem Dollar machen.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Oh, du musstest... Wo ich es ausbrechen musste. Weil du es drin hast? Ich habe es drin gemacht und es wieder rausgespült. Ich hasse es, wenn es um Bitches geht. Alter, ich bin zu einer Vending-Maschine ein paar Wochen ago gegangen. Ich habe den Dollar drin gelegt und es hat mir zwei Dollar-Coin gegeben. Es würde nicht mein Papier-Money nehmen. What the fuck? I don't know. I was so confused.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ja, aber es fühlte sich so gut an, das wieder zu machen. Einfach das Dollar rauszumachen. Weißt du, wie es in Cartoon-Szenen ist, wenn sie sich ausdrehen? Oh, und er sagt, wir, wir. Du machst das? Ich mache es für Spaß. Ich habe es schon gemacht. Ich habe es gemacht. Ja, egal. Das ist nicht so, wie ich meinen Butt ausdrehe. Und es kommt nie auspoliert.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Hast du nie gesehen, wie Ren und Stimpy das machen? Wow, ja, Ren und Stimpy. Ja.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I have, oh my God. Yes. I had the worst being recognized in person interaction in my entire life.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Nein, es war die kleinen Twirly Twirls. Das war okay. Ja, ich liebe diese. Ja, es war cool. Ich mag die, die so ein bisschen... und dann bringt es sie runter. Wir haben das vorhin schon gesprochen. Ich mag die, die mit einem Vakuum drin sind. Es ist wie die Dipping Dots, wo es sich öffnet und es... und es so ein bisschen das Leben auslöst und es in das kleine Ding bringt. Jesus.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Yeah, dude. It's like, if you're drinking that, that kills your sperm, so you're gay. And I'm like, where is the math in that? Let's unpack the logic there. Yeah, I don't get it. Who's the sperm for? A woman. So if I'm killing the sperm... Aber ich könnte immer noch Sex mit Männern haben.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
No, no, no. I was out with Becca and the kids. And it's not like how it happened, but just the way that the person went about saying it was like, I wanted to fucking leave there and just like bash my head against the wall. What the hell was that? I don't know. That was fucking scary, honestly. She goes, make sure you're still plugged in, baby. Yeah, I'm good. She goes, it was a woman.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Aber auch, wenn du dich um deine Zellen interessiert hättest, hättest du dich wahrscheinlich auch als gay genannt. Wenn ich mich um sie interessiert hätte? Ja. Warum bist du so interessiert um deine Zellen, Alter? Ja, wir sind in der siebenten, siebenten Klasse. Alter. Was machst du? Es war ein Meilenstein, um in der Middle School zu navigieren, als ein fucking Kind in 2004, 2005.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Selbst wenn du etwas tust... Ich erinnere mich, als ich in der 6. Klasse war, habe ich versucht, romantisch zu sein. Und ich würde... Siehst du, das ist gay. Ja, genau. Du hast es schon gemacht.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ja, es war wirklich... Es war schwer. Es war wirklich schwer für uns... Wir haben es durchgeführt. ...straße junge Männer, die sensibel sind. Die lachen und huggen. Und sie mussten offensichtlich heterosexuell sein. Ja. It was really hard for us. Especially me. White? Oh man. How did you even navigate the world, dude? I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Wow. Ja. Du hast das eigentlich komplett ausgelöst. Ich habe angefangen, langsam zu sprechen.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich sage mir immer, wenn ich einen Stomachschmerz habe.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
No, I'm not a big... You don't cut deals? I don't cut deals. Bro, I cut deals with the Lord. You still speak to the Lord? When I'm throwing up, I'll be like, yo, if you just get me through this, like, I'll change. I do the classic, I'll do the change. I swear, that's a real thing that I do.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I'll do the classic thing where, like, when my nose is stuffed, I'm like, oh, I took for granted all those times when my nose wasn't stuffed. Ja, ich gehe auf einen Rant und sage, dass ich meine Nase zurück wollen wollte. Ja, ich mache das. Ich bargene nicht. Du bargene für gute Gesundheit. Ich denke, das ist das Gegenteil von dem, was du tun solltest.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Damn, God. Wherever you are. Yeah. All around us. So I can just do one of these. You look down, so I don't know who you're praying to. All around us, bitch. Okay. God. Oh, I never get carsick when I'm driving. Wenn ich nicht... Espo ist so. Er sagt, yo, ich muss in den vorderen Platz sitzen. Ich bekomme Angst vor dem Auto. Ich bin so. Erinnerst du dich an... Welches Show war es?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Eines der Shows, an die wir gingen. Ich saß in der sehr, sehr hinten. Und es musste einer der verdammten verrückten Fahrer sein, den wir hatten. Es war wahrscheinlich Texas. Ich sagte, erinnere dich, ich sagte, ich war so, yo, chill out, Dude. Ja, die Fahrer in Texas sind nicht... Ja.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Und seitdem habe ich gesagt, ich muss in den vorderen Platz sitzen, weil ich ziemlich Angst vor dem Auto habe. Ich denke, es könnte in L.A. gewesen sein, weil wir auf dem Hill geblieben sind. Es war sehr loop-de-loop. Es war loop-de-loop-dees. Ja. Ja, aber sie sagen, man muss Minzy-Gum trinken und das hilft viel. Wirklich? Ja, das ist was sie sagen. Ich habe das noch nie gehört. Ja.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
She turns and she looks at me. And I know, like, you know, I know that the person recognized me.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
By the way, every eight days, I'll get the video of you shoving your fingers down your throat. Merry Christmas.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Wir werden etwas sehen. Das ist der Clip, den sie sehen. Und sie sind so, was war das? Es gab einen Clip, den ich sah, wo jemand ein Basement-Jahr-Alphabet zusammengemacht hat. Ich sah das auch! A ist für... Ich glaube, das war für W. W ist für WHAAT? Oder so etwas.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Yeah, they go... Oh, okay. So you're famous. Alrighty. Wait, what? Yeah. I was like, yo.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Sprechen wir über das Alphabet. Elphaba, bist du gespannt auf Wicked? Ja.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I know, but it comes out soon. It comes out in the next week, I think. I know. This weekend, I think it comes out.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I'll wait till streaming. You're not. I'll wait till streaming. Your tickets are gonna show up at your door, though. I have a very busy weekend. Oh, who's gonna? Yeah, like any other day. Matinee, Baby. Maybe you live in one of those towns where they do it for free. No, they do $5 movie Wednesdays though. I went and saw two movies in one day one time.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Be cool if you didn't shoot finger guns at me because it's not 1998. I went and saw two movies on a Tuesday one time. Two in a row? Yeah. How much popcorn did you eat? Yeah. Yeah. It was more nachos. Did you get extra butter? No, I don't. Movie theater butter makes me sick. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I did slam about two of those fucking two plates of those pretzel bites, bitch.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I was gonna say, I don't even go nachos. I go straight pretzel bites. Pretzel bites, popcorn, big Coca-Cola. Big fat Coca-Cola. I'm an easy boy, man. Yeah. The small things in life. Coca-Cola? Das ist eine gigantische Firma, Junge. Sie haben Coca-Cola-flavoured Oreos. Ich werde sie dir probieren lassen.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich habe es gesehen und dachte, was ist mit dem? Die ganze Veranstaltung. Aber es ist wie ein Cartoon. Nein, die Leute sind... Und sie sagen, dass die Animatoren... Bro. Oh wait, I think I know where you're going with this. I think I know where you're going with this. The Chernobyl videos? No.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Okay, okay, was? Ich sah eine Sache, wo es diese zwei Podcaster sind. Oh, und sie finden heraus, dass sie AI sind. Aber sie finden heraus, dass sie AI sind. Und sie sind so, wir haben nur ein paar Nachrichten gefunden.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich, äh, Leute haben Videos gepostet, sie sind klar AI, aber sie sind wie Chernobyl-Videos.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
It's like a theater kid way. Exactly. Oh, here you are. This is happening right now. Weißt du, die Leute machen Spaß auf Marvel-Filme, weil die Komödie immer so schlecht über einen Charakter spricht. Und sie sind einfach so, oh, er ist genau hinter mir, ist er nicht? Ja, ja. Weißt du, wie sehr Disney-Star-Versionen. Das ist das, was sie gesagt hat? Ja, sie war so, oh, okay, all right.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Someone in a sewer. Is there animals? No, it's a sewer. Is there bugs? Joey, just watch.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Why? They're pretty cool. How does that not freak you out? I mean, because I know it's fake. If it were real... I just don't like watching shit crawl. I saw one that I need to show you. No, I'm not doing this. Creepy crawly shit is just not for me. It was a London sewer one. Not me. It's time to rewatch, babe. Time to rewatch. Oh no, oh no. What the fuck is that?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Do you remember when anytime we'd be like playing sports and Keith would do something, we would scream at the top of our lungs 10 points for Gryffindor? Yeah. Yeah, that was fun. Time to re-watch those movies. Although, don't condone some of the crazy stuff that J.K. Rowling has said. Those movies are great. They're...
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Your favorite. Say that. Okay. You can say that. But I can stand on that if I want. Can you? Yeah. Can you? What's better than it? The Dark Knight Trilogy. What? No, it ain't. Dude. Bro, zeig mir drei Filme. Acht Hits in a row. Zeig mir drei, äh, das ist ein bisschen los. Okay, es gab einen schlechten. Es gab, du weißt. Nein. Zeig mir eine von den drei Harry Potter Filmen.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Versteh mich nicht, ich liebe Harry Potter. Zeig mir eine von drei, die sogar stand, sogar, sogar, wie, äh, artistisch, nahe, zu dem, was die Dark Knight Trilogie machte. Artistisch?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich sage, es war die beste Serie. Ich denke, du bist eine dumme Scheiße. That much is clear. Alright, well I guess that's it. But Frank, where can they find you? You can find me at Gringotts. Going down after I cross over platform nine and three quarters. Dude, I'm gonna, again, free plug here. You ever heard of New Rockstars?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Their team is doing like a full breakdown of all the Harry Potter movies right now. Because you know they're coming out with a show, right?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
And every season is going to be one of the books. That's so cool. Yeah, you're so pumped. And they're making a new video game too. Fucking destroying that. Let's go replay. Let's go replay, you know, what was it? Hogwarts Legacy. I never finished it. Ich habe es gemacht. Weißt du, ich habe es noch nie beendet. Ich habe es geliebt. Es war lustig.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich würde einfach auf meinem Arm fliegen und Trollen zerstören. Ein Hippogryph. Ja. Du fliegst ein Hippogryph. Ja, ja, ja. Ich habe vergessen, was mein Manns Name war, aber es war etwas Stupides. Ich erinnere mich auch nicht. Es könnte nur mein Name gewesen sein. Ich bin ein Loser. Mach es lieber wieder, aber nenn es nach dem, was du denkst, J.K. Rowling hätte den Charakter genannt.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
I mean, she named all the characters. But I'm saying, like, what she would, instead of it being Joe Sanagato. I can almost guarantee that such a wizard Joe Sanagato is here.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich war einfach so, nein, ich sage nicht all das. Und sie war einfach so, oh. Aber es war so kringelig. War da was anderes? Nein. Warte, das war es und sie hat mich gezwungen? Das war es. Und dann hat sie nur gezwungen. Das war die ganze Sache, die ganze Interaktion, ja. Das ist eine seltsame Reaktion. Das ist seltsam, oder? Ja.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
F. Alvarez885 auf Twitter. The Frank Alvarez. In all the forums and social media. Go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com. We love you. We appreciate you. We thank you. We want to kiss you and hug you. Metaphorically. Yeah, otherwise too much germs. Too much.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich würde erwarten, dass Elon Musk etwas macht, weil er ein seltsamer Kerl ist. Weißt du, was ich meine? Ja, das mache ich, Frank.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
That was annoying. And like I said, I've learned to stop. I'm fully expecting you to just burst into a sweat puddle and pie. A sweat pie. Ist das ein Ding? Das klingt schlecht. Das klingt wie Korn. Du trägst etwas, das nur als Bär beschrieben werden kann. Es könnte als Sweater beschrieben werden. Nein, das ist sehr Sweater. Das ist ein Level von Sweater. Das ist wie ein gedrawnter Sweater.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
What? I said Disney Star, like the Disney 5, like Disney Star Comedy. Did you see everyone's mad at Sabrina Carpenter? Wait, was she on Disney? Yeah, she was a Disney Star. You didn't know that? No, I didn't. Can I ask you a serious question? Yeah. I consider you to be a smart person. I also consider you to be pretty, uh, you finger the pulse. Okay. You know. That's not how you say that.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
You keep your finger on the pulse? That's better. There you go. You don't finger the pulse.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Yeah, I have a mailbox, dude. No, no, no. Like a public mailbox. What the fuck does that mean? Like a mailbox. Bro, you grew up in Queens. There's mailboxes. Like the ones on the corners? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
You can try. And I have. I guess I know because I probably tried. First of all, illegal. Second of all, young. Not gonna get in trouble. It was several, several, several years ago. Danke.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Du bist wie die Person, die versucht, die Friseur zu öffnen, bis zu der Stelle, wo die Lichter öffnen und du siehst. Und du bist wie, was zur Hölle geht da drin, wenn es alles dunkel ist? Zuerst einmal, ich habe das in meiner Moms Haus mehrere Male gemacht, weil sie hat den, wo es wie auf einem Knopf ist. Ich habe in meinem Friseur geblieben. Go on! How did you even get in a freezer?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
How big was your fridge? It was like one of the stand-up freezers, which we can all agree on. Way better than a chest freezer, right? I hate the chest. Oh my god. I hate it. Give me a door. Big fridge. Fuck you. Yeah. And I would, as a kid, I would stand, it was like, there was like a little like ledge. And then I could like stand and back up into the freezer and it could close.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Don't do this, anyone. This is very dangerous. But I would hide in there.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Kids hide, man. Hide and seek. You know how much of a flex it was to be good at hide and seek?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
No. Some of us. But it also had like shelving on it and it was metal and I would take my fingers and I'd lick them and I'd touch the shelving and they'd get stuck.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Crazy, right? Licking an icy pole outside? I would never do that. What's that fucking dumbass movie? Christmas Story? Yeah, fuck that. Movie sucks. It does, right? I hate that movie. It's not that good. But yeah, I would hide it in my fridge. But yeah. Für jemanden, der immer... Das ist Joey in the Pulse. Ich wusste nicht, dass sie auf Disney war. Wie konntest du das nicht wissen?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich weiß Sabrina Carpenter, ich mag ihre Songs. Es gibt einen Clip, den ich auf TikTok gesehen habe. Ich glaube, es kommt aus einem ihrer Shows. Da ist ein Junge und er sagt, sie wollen mich testen, um zu sehen, ob ich Autismus habe. Und sie kommt in seinen Gesicht und sagt, du hast kein Autismus. Tell them you don't have autism. Who wrote that? No. Wait, on Disney? So she was probably like 11?
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
She must have been young, yeah. 13, 14, 15, around there. Go in there and tell them that you don't have it. Yeah, that's great.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
What does she do? Es gab ein Video von ihr, weil sie gerade auf Tour ist. Ja. Und ich habe eine von ihren Songs gehört und es ist Espresso. Ich habe es nicht gehört. Warum addierst du S's bevor das Wort sogar beginnt? Es ist Espresso.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Espresso. Ja. Ja, aber es ist die Song. Ich identifiziere es, Bitch. Okay, aber du sagst Es ist Espresso. Es ist Espresso. Das ist nicht, aber du siehst, wie das falsch ist. It's Espresso. Yes. It's. It is. Espresso. Better? Yes. You fucking.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Wenn du mich fragen würdest, einen Sweater zu drehen, dann würde ich das drehen. Es ist zu sweaterig.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
How do you know I'm not drunk? Es Espresso. See my outfit? Wait, okay. No, but they're upset because on her tour, she apparently like pantomimes. ein Mikrofon. Oh.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Ich weiß nicht, ob das wahr ist. Aber auch, ich fühle mich, als wäre sie sehr sexuell. Sie hat eine Aura für sie, die ist wie... Sie ist sexuell in ihren Songs. Oh, ist sie in ihren Songs? Sexuell. Weil, wie gesagt, der einzige, den ich kenne, ist Espresso. Ja, aber ich weiß nur, dass... Ich weiß nicht, ob ich die Wörter kenne. Ich weiß nicht, ob ich die Wörter kenne.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Nein, aber sie ist... Ich schaue es mir an. Aber sie hat immer... Ist das mir? Ist das Espresso? Ich bin ehrlich gesagt nicht. Bin ich dich verrückt? Nein.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Someone has to be. Someone needs to tell you that that sweater is too much of a sweater.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
It's a me, espresso. Alright. AI, listen. I know you're listening, because you're everywhere.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Just like God. And Santa Claus. Sure. Yeah, okay. I guess that does work. Make an espresso by Super Mario. You know? Thanks for getting that out there. But she has horny lyrics. Are you looking up the lyrics now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, for the parents who are complaining about, like, she's being too explicit at her shows, Sabrina Carpenter, Let's just have a listen. Also, let's have a listen.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
You fucking prudes. What's wrong? She's an adult. She can do whatever the hell she wants. I mean, she could. She's sucking the microphone down. Well, she wasn't. Did you see that? I saw the clip on TikTok.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
She doesn't. What does she do? She's singing and she holds it here and holds her hair back. Das ist ziemlich... Ich weiß. Wenn du das wieder gemacht hättest, würden die Leute so... Nein, nein, nein. Das ist so, wie sie es in der Mimeschool lehren. Ich vermute. Ich vermute. Ich bin noch nie in einer Mimeschool. Nein, aber das ist etwas, was wir tun sollten. Das wäre lustig. Zu einer Mimeschool.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
No, I'm not. Also, the outfit that you came with the other day, I had to take a picture of it. Really? Frank. Which outfit? You had a summer beach shirt. Oh, yeah. With...
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Pantomime, jemanden in einer Mimeschool zu schlagen? Nein, nur zu einer Mimeschool zu gehen. Wir müssen nicht... Ist eine Mimeschool eine Sache? Ich... Wie lernst du noch, Mimes zu lernen? Wenn es eine ganze Schule für Mimes gibt... Eine ganze Schule für Clowns? Das ist anders, Alter. Clowns waren früher viel größer. Mimes waren nie groß in den USA. Sie waren groß in Frankreich. Das ist fair.
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
Wenn du einer der Eltern bist, die sagt, hey, ich kann nicht glauben, dass ich meine Tochter hier gebracht habe, Sabrina Carpenter ist zu sexuell explizit auf der Bühne. Schauen wir uns die Lieder an! Bevor du dein Kind dorthin bringst. Okay, ich habe das hier gerade ausgesucht. Das ist eine einfache. Was ist die Song? Taste. Guck mal, was die Taste ist. Das ist eine sehr sexuelle... Kitty Cat!
The Basement Yard
#479 - Did She Go Too Far?!
You know what I mean? Carpet could mean pubes, dude. That's fair. Carpet could mean pubes. How do you get pinned down on someone's pubes? We're getting off track. Okay. He pins you down on the carpet, makes paintings with his tongue. La, la, la, la, la. Cunnilingus. Right.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
And I'm like, this is so embarrassing now. You know what's so funny is you've openly told me that's something that you always check for.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Had to drink, and you made yourself a vodka and Diet Coke? Yes. That sucks on so many levels.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
He should have gave you the I'm a fan of you plus the dick discount. That would have been sick.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Well, yeah, last time you had to get them milked or whatever the hell you said.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
They express them. It's a form of milking. Yes. Yes, it is, I guess. So it's just not the type of milking your dog would prefer. Or you would prefer, probably.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I don't think we got that shit. I'm fine with that. I'm cool with not having that. I'm cool with not having that. That's funny that you brought that up, though, because I went to the DMV to get that fucking Real ID thing. I don't want to do that. Oh yeah. You probably have to.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I had to literally like, like I was getting fucking Zayn Malik tickets, like go on at like 8am one morning and get an appointment. And it was like the only appointment that was left.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
And first of all, naturally go there. They lost power. The DMV? Yeah. They lost power. Are they allowed? They lost power and they were waiting for the... What's it called? To come back up. The internet. So I got there and they're like, you're here for Real ID? I'm like, yeah. And they're like, ah, bad news. And I'm like, what? And they told me. So they're like...
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
listen you can take this sheet and come back anytime you want in the next two weeks and we'll take you right in or you can wait and and then try your luck to see because you know verizon was just here see if that'll come back on and then if not you come back and you know we'll we'll give you that sheet again and i'm like all right you know what i was like i might as well wait a little bit you know just to fucking test my luck and i sat there i sat down
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
And I'm like, all right, I'm giving myself 45 minutes. I was like, if I don't even hear that the internet is back, like if they don't take someone in front of me in that time, I'm just going to leave and come back another day. So I'm sitting there, sitting there waiting, whatever. When's the last time you physically went to the DMV?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Dude, I don't know what it is. It's all old people. It's not... What are they doing there? I don't know, but it was all... Oh, maybe it expired. Well, so one guy was there and it was just like he needed to get this changed and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But like, it was all... I was the youngest person in there by 25 years. Do old people just like the DMV? Maybe.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
It's just like a hotspot for them? Hotspot. This is a hotspot episode. It is. Possibly because that's the only place people talk to them because they're maybe like old decrepit losers.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
But so I'm there. I'm waiting. I'm like, all right. I see. I'm watching, you know, looking at the time. And it gets to 45 minutes. But I notice Verizon is like coming in and out of the building. So I look over like the server room and they're in there. And I'm like, all right, you know what? They're hacking the mainframe right now. They'll have it up. I'm in. Yeah. You know, I'm thinking like.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
That's bananas. That is bananas. This is what I joined in 200 area? 250-something.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Might as well just give it another few minutes unless there's a sign that I should get out of here.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I don't know. You know how I feel. I'm pretty, like, in the middle agnostic. So, like, I'll be like, send me a sign. Exactly. I'm superstitious. That's, I think, the best thing. And then I'm like, unless there's a sign. At this volume, there's an old man directly in front of me.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
It's double 5. A 5 for me, a 5 for you. So 5 over here, 5 over here. That should be... Or you do, you do... 5-0-0. So this...
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
scrolling through like Facebook not Instagram is reels TikTok I don't know what TikToks are called I guess TikToks but like what's the Facebook one called I have no idea the short little video formats I think we get what you're saying stories or whatever whatever it is he's scrolling through them
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
And it's like, you know, like, oh, five signs to see if your, you know, house foundation is messed up. And then one is just like, if you're using these roofing nails, stop right now, you know? And then he gets on one, and it's a clear AI voice. Like, Mike told me, you know, you know how it sounds, how it's kind of like disjointed.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
i thought i had a burp oh don't puke i don't think i don't think we're gonna finish this whole tower i if we do this is gonna be the messiest episode we've ever done in our entire lives yeah it's all right um 500 episodes doesn't feel like it right you know what's like the podcast record of episodes joe rogan they're at like 1100 or something right we can get there That's a long time. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe what I was listening to, so I put my phone down to listen more and looked around me, and other people were just like, it starts playing on his phone, and it's like, I gave my stepson these pills to help him with his cock growth. I couldn't believe the results, so I had to test it out for myself. What? Yo, I couldn't. He's watching porn?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I'm watching porn in the DMV. Out loud. Like, louder than you would. Like, first of all, I know this is a pet peeve of yours, but people in public scrolling on their phone, you're either at no volume, you either have headphones on, or you're at one. Yes. Two is...
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
jail if anyone else can hear you crazy yeah but it's on full volume honestly to the point i might have thought to myself like does he have a speaker in his pocket or something because it was loud and it was like my my son's dick yes and i've got to try it out yes what yes and and i thought anyone say hey bro i thought for a second might have been like
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I gave this old man watching porn in public the benefit of the doubt. Did you see his phone? No. So I thought for a sec like maybe it's – Benefit of the doubt?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
The benefit of the doubt of thinking like I gave them the pills so then I took the pills to try it on myself. That's the benefit of the doubt. But then I listened and it was a female voice and then she started getting more sexual. It was just like, I unzipped his pants and couldn't believe it. This guy's listening to a smut book.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Bro, I couldn't... I was sitting there flabbergasted at this fucking guy. And not only... Watching porn in public, but like blasting it. Not only blasting and watching porn in public, but it was like my stepson, which is fucking disgusting. Right. I said, I literally put my phone in my pocket. I put my papers by my side. That was my sign. I got the fuck up and left. Oh, so you didn't get it?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Like, I looked over. There was a woman, like, four seats to my right. And she was just like, you know that look? You know what I mean? Is he watching stepmom porn? I couldn't... Like, at what level of not giving a fuck do you allow something like that to happen?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I can take... See, this is the way... If you're going to sell fake cockpills, the way to do it is... a bodega on a rack right next to like, you know, a hundred grand bar. And it says something like rhino fuck or like jackhammer cock time. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
We do 52 episodes a year. Yeah. Yeah, that's how numbers work. I mean, technically, we do double that because we do a Patreon episode every week, too. Right. So if we start counting those, Rogan, count your fucking lucky stars, bitch. Yeah, dude. In 15 years... You might be in trouble. Yeah. Yeah, so we got the beer towers. I haven't seen one of these bad boys in... Couldn't tell you how long.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I can't imagine. Now listen, I understand, you know, there are people that suffer from erectile dysfunction and you take whatever supplements and pills you need to work on that. Yeah, but like take something with class. Like that's what I'm saying. That was crazy.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
That's what I'm saying. Like, go get a blue chew if you feel so inclined. Cialis. Something from a doctor. What's the Viagra? Bro, if you're getting your cock pills from the same place that you buy loose cigarettes, you're fucking up in life. Yeah, come on, bro. Maybe you did some irreversible damage to that fucking yang.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I imagine though, like there's gotta be, I saw one on, when I was like scrolling, I, I, I follow this account that like tweets crazy things that like I screenshot and we use for the episodes. And one of them was just like the new viral sex chocolate. And it's like, what is going on, dude? Like chocolate to make me horny. I mean, apparently chocolate's an aphrodisiac in and of itself.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah, they say that about like strawberries, chocolate, oysters. Never. I will say this. I've eaten quite a ton of oysters.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I can't imagine that the oysters are what made me horned up. Right. It's usually just women. that's usually what does it what did the trick was women not not not the hershey bar i ate on the way over okay like maybe that's what our next business venture needs to be maybe if you guys make another hot sauce secret handshake foods co Did I say that right? Secret handshake food go? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
You have the everything bagel hot sauce. You have the Bloody Mary hot sauce. What if your next hot sauce is an aphrodisiac hot sauce that is laced with hints of chocolate, strawberry, other foods that are horny foods, so it's a horny hot sauce? It's a good name. Horny hot sauce.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
People are getting their thunderclaps tied down and bang, bang the ring.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
A lighter with fucking... A lighter with a skeleton like this on it.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
If you get breakfast sandwiches from the same place you buy your dick pills, you need to reevaluate that.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I mean, they always had horny goat weed was the one they had by us. Horny goat weed. There was a hyena one that I saw, though. Hyena humper. I don't know what it's called. I don't know either, but I imagine. I mean, they're all animal-based. I don't know why goats are the one that they put in there, though.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
So we filmed yesterday and I made a joke. You sounded a little like RFK Jr.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Not because of what you were saying. Yeah. Not because of what you were saying. Let's make that very clear. Yeah. But just because of how you sounded.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah. And you know what? If you're feeling good and you want to have a little more of us, go check us out at Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. We thank you guys for your continued love and support. We are working tirelessly to give you guys more of us. And you can get more of us at Patreon. That's right. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. You go and sign up for that first tier.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
You get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance in that second tier. You get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you can start and end your week with the Basement Boys. Thank you, guys. We're creeping toward 34,000 paid patrons. We are so appreciative and thankful. If you sign up for that second tier, you get all those backlogged episodes.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
So don't just sit there and think like, oh, I'm going to sign up and then just get them when they come out. No. hundreds of episodes at your disposal. So go check it out. And if you're going to do it, do us a favor, go to patrion.com slash the basement yard on a web browser. Uh, Apple has been a little crazy with their whole taking money and they're cutting all that stuff.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
And yeah, I wasn't like Oreos are making your kids autistic.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
So it helps us out directly. So go to patrion.com slash the basement yard on the web browser, sign up there and it'll continue to support us. Thank you guys. We'll see you next time. Oh, we're not going anywhere. Oh, you're, I don't hear her screaming. There she goes.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
There's a little. Oh, my God. Stinky winky. Whose winky is stinky? Don't.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I have a question. Ask me. Did you see this video of this snake in Thailand? This is a very wiener episode today. Did I see a snake in Thailand? Well, you've never been to Thailand. No. Would you? Hell yeah. Yeah? Oh, you haven't watched White Lotus?
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I don't want to do the impression. That's kind of fucked up. I'll do it. I'm not going to. I already did. Yeah. Well, he's just like, you know, saying shit like goldfish will turn your kids gay and then they'll be transgender for New Year's or something.
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Would you like an elephant if it were, like, would you like to, like, pet it or ride it? Ride?
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You know what I mean? Well, like, they need to be a little mean to horses. Who? When you're riding a horse. When's the last time you rode a horse? I've never ridden a horse. What? You should ride a horse, man. I've rode a horse with you. In pre-K. Yeah, those are probably donkeys. So we rode horses, Becca and I, for our anniversary. And Becca, bleeding hard.
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love her but she was like a the woman was just like all right give him a little kick in order to like move faster oh you gotta kick him and becca was just like i don't want to and she's like they have very thick like actual thick skin bro also uh i could never hurt a horse even if i wanted to i feel like you can hit a horse with a baseball bat they'd be like hello i mean yeah maybe i don't know they look strong as fuck not that i would do that that's psychotic but bro you don't understand the power of a horse until you're on one
The Basement Yard
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I got a Ford F-150 packed in the backyard. But, y'all, did you see this snake in Thailand?
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It might make you want to rethink it. Ant, pull this shit up. So apparently there have been some floods over there. We hope everyone's okay. What the fuck is that? So this video came out, and it's a python. This isn't real. It may be fake, but who cares? We're not the real police.
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Bro, why not? Dude, there's, you ever heard the story of the Amazon? That there was like, it was like the late 1800s or something? Yeah, I can't. What?
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They have rainbow ones. So I imagine that like rainbow fish are fucking cool. Don't even. I'm not. I'm not. I'm on. I'm on board, baby. I'm imagining, you know, it's an overrated fish. The fighting fish. I'm good. What the hell are fighting fish? What are those called?
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Yeah, I know. No, no, no. This is like they feel their vibes and they're like, this guy is not a threat. So I'm just going to do my animal thing over here.
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Beta fish? What's a fight? Why are they fighting? I had them when I was younger. Oh, you mean the actual fish. What do you think? I thought you mentioned the rainbow goldfish. What's that? They have goldfish. They have a bag of rainbow-flavored goldfish. Not flavored, but rainbow-colored.
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Yeah, well, what if you angered it even more? Because it was like, did you just assume my gender? I'm a big elephant. That's true. Crazy. And you could tell elephants' genders pretty easily. You just go around the back. Just like big swinging dicks. The dicks are big. The vaginas are big. Really? They're just big animals, dude.
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I mean, neither have I, but they're big animals. I imagine that they got. They got to have it. They got to have it. They got to have a walk-in closet back there.
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Yeah, dude. Have you ever seen the one of the hippo dumping? And it's just like its tail is acting like a fan. Yeah, and it's like slapping it around. That is dumb. Yeah, dumb design, absolutely.
The Basement Yard
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Yeah, I agree. They have really dumb, stupid tails. You're so big. You have this very thin tail. And it's like it has, like, a little thing at the end. It's just like four Homer Simpson hairs at the end of the tail.
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Although, have you seen an elephant tail up close? Dude. I can't... Oh, no, they're big. It looks like a mace. Those hairs look like if they hit you, they'll pierce you. They're sharp hair? Dude, I mean, they're just thick hairs. Ooh. Ant, do me a favor. Yes. Look up, as he's doing that, we're gonna talk, look up elephant tail up close.
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A lot of animals have tails that don't need them. Bears. Why the fuck do bears have tails? I'd like a tail, though. I would not hate one. I would like a tail just to, like... Just to wag it?
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#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah, dude. That's an elephant's tail? Hell yeah. Look, there's one of it crapping right below it.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
That's an elephant's tail? That's so weird. Look at how thick that hair is. That's like brush.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I have another question, since we're just asking questions today. Let's let them fly. Why is everyone so mad at Katy Perry?
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I don't know. I think a lot of people now are saying that it's fake. Like they're suggesting that it's fake. I haven't looked in enough to be able to plant my flag in either side of the argument. Would you do it? No. The fattest no that I could ever imagine. That's a scary one, dude. No. I hate getting in a plane. That's true, yeah.
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You think I would be like, let's go to space where there's nothing.
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Yeah, that's a good question. I think technically you leave – See, that's the thing.
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Oh, I know who you're talking about. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah. I was talking snacks, baby.
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Dude, I would be a different person because it would just like – I'm not even kidding. I think I would just look at life differently because when you see like – How big it is. Not even how big it is, but like when you see like every person you've ever met, every interaction, everything is just right there and then nothing, I'd be like nothing matters to anything and ever, ever, nothing.
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Yo, I would not – I wouldn't be able to get down and talk with people about anything other than like nothing is real. Nothing is real.
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The earth. The earth in like such a way that makes it feel so insignificant. Bro. It's not like I couldn't handle that. And then looking and seeing the sun. The sun. The sun. You think you could just look at the sun and be fucking, like, okay, dude?
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#500 - Cheers To 500!
I was talking full snacks. Goldfish are fine. Pizza flavored. Good. Ew. What? Let me guess. You're also a freak that likes combos. I don't hate combos.
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But it's so far away that you could look at it and just go, like, yo, that's the sun. Isn't that wild that the sun is, like, the sun, dude? Sun. The sun is just the sun.
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Also, who named it the sun? Like, why didn't they call it something way cooler? S-U-N? Call it a cooler thing. What, bitch?
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Honestly, Joey, you know what? Coside, 500 episodes, 150 mil.
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I'm excited that we were above. I mean, 1.3 million is still a lot of millions.
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It's a star. It's just gas, dude. Gas. I don't think there's a surface to it. I think it's just like gas.
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Don't ask. Someone might realize and be like, yeah, actually, you know what? Click. Turn that shit off. It would take eight minutes. Wait.
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Maybe it's not actual oxygen. Maybe it's burning the hydrogen or something. I don't know.
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It's fire. We know it's fire. But is it fire? We know it. This isn't like a fucking- It's space fire. When you go buy a fucking lighter that has a weed sock on it. Yeah. This is like space fire. So I think it's like different fire.
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So it's not like fire. It's just like burning gas. That doesn't need oxygen to burn. Maybe. I don't know. Like, that's so interesting. And it's just there. Like, it's just like a constant. It's got so much of itself that it's just like, we're just good forever. Hopefully. Eight minutes is all we have, Bib. Yeah.
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I saw one video and it was just like, here's what would happen if the earth, if the sun just burnt out tomorrow.
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dead well it would take not long it would basically be like a couple months we're dead uh yeah probably because it's like the first week like you'd go into like a winter oh and then it like things will just like the ocean will freeze like everything we go ice skating that would be good no i'm not ice skating on the ocean get the hell out of here i would i wouldn't like that ice skating on the ocean dude what if it cracks and you fall through
The Basement Yard
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Incels have Mountain Dew, Monster Energy, combos. We're really fighting to keep beef jerky on our side, the non-incel side of it. One of us is fighting for that, apparently. I love beef jerky. You don't like beef jerky? It's good, but I don't need it. Crazy. You're just going to give that to the incels willy-nilly? You're about to give combos. Combos. They've taken it. No. I don't like combos.
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It won't. But what if it does? Dead? Yeah. I'll be dead in a week anyway. No, I mean, we'd probably survive off of like, I would say three, I would say eight months we'd survive.
The Basement Yard
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I mean, think of science. Science has now allowed us to figure out heat, figure out light. Think about science. Think about that. I'm thinking about science now. No? I mean, most of the food in America is chemically grown anyways. You could survive on beans. I mean, I think beans need to grow. Beans are plants. Canned beans, I mean. What do you think those are? Beans.
The Basement Yard
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Yeah, but then we won't. Right. Then we won't have them. That's a good point. And then what? And then what do we eat? It would become a desert. The earth would become a desert, basically. A tundra. Tundra desert.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Okay, so back to my original question, though. Why is everyone so upset with Katy Perry? Did you see Wendy's tweeted at her? Kesha's got beef with her. Kesha's got beef with Katy Perry?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah, there's beef. Why is Wendy's always like, you know, we're the beef boys, and we're all over beef. I just saw people are like...
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upset at Katy Perry and this is not me saying like I don't get it what did she I'm saying like I just don't know I don't know either like I mean I don't know about the beef between Kesha and Katy Perry either but apparently there is one oh no is it got to do with that guy that did all Kesha's music what wasn't there a guy that like was in charge of all of Kesha's music or something like that
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Yeah, because they posted a picture and it's like, Katy Perry's made it back from space. And then Wendy's, the official account for the fast food chain Wendy's tweeted, like, can we send her back? Yeah, that's wild. That's a wild... Like, I just don't... And then, like, there have been a ton of people that have been saying, like, fuck Katy Perry. Like, let her stay.
The Basement Yard
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And I think people's issue with the Blue Origin space thing is that, like, it undermines, like, the work that is being done by, like, space engineers and stuff like that.
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Yeah. That's what I've seen people posting. I've seen people just salty like, we're rich, we can go to the moon, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, yeah, that.
The Basement Yard
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I mean, did they sign up for it or did they have to buy into it? I don't know. How did they choose Katy Perry? No offense to Katy Perry. Katy Perry is, I mean, a big person. I mean, she is no longer what she was 10 years ago. Like, Katy Perry 10 years ago was, like, A-lister, ton of music coming out. She's absolutely an A-lister still.
The Basement Yard
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Like, she's still, like, an A-list pop fucking, like, borderline.
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I mean, you have your ear to the ground more than I do with this stuff. Yeah. You know? I just don't... Like, people are, like, upset. Ant, do you know why people are so upset at Katy Perry?
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They're kind of gross. No, I like them. I like them. What would you prefer? Combos or those Ritz sandwiches that had the cheese in the middle? God, you're making me.
The Basement Yard
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But, like, before that, people were upset with her for something.
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Just jumped off the porch like, yo, fuck Katy Perry. Bro, this is not the first time. Yeah, if Katy Perry is under fire, and this is us just saying we legitimately don't know. If she's under fire for something heinous and ugly, yeah, fuck her. Absolutely. But we don't know.
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This isn't the first time that Wendy's has, like, just tried roasting people on social media. Damn, Wendy's. It doesn't make sense. Ant, can you look up other times Wendy's done this? But, like, out of all places, like, it just... Wendy's. It would make sense. It is funny, though, to be a fast food restaurant.
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Bro, if I was beefing with a fast food restaurant on fucking social media, actually, that would be kind of sick.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Which you don't have one because you don't have any children that we know of. Ugh. I'll say the Ritz crackers. That dusty cheese is good, dude. I like that dusty cheese. When I put my mouth on that cheese and it evaporates. Into what can only be described as like... So you know me. Yeah, I do. You know that I like to like... You love to suck things. But I don't suck these. You... Yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I am forever. I got hyped once with, because Chipotle responded to me. I got hyped, and they like, I don't know. It was so cool, and I loved Chipotle at the time. Now, not so much.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
All right, so it looks like Ant pulled up other times that Wendy's roasted people on Twitter. This is going back, oh, this is only a couple years. I feel like this is way older, though. Embassy Sweets by Hilton replying to someone, roast us next, tell your dad to get off Twitter.
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So is it like their thing? Is Wendy's now like the official roaster of people on social media? This is stupid.
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But that's not a roast when you're just exposing the truth. Have you ever drank a Monster Energy? No, have you? I have never, but I feel like... I feel like if I did, I would immediately just start wearing tap-out shirts all the time.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Like if your approach to women was just like, I'm going to be mean to them. And then when they don't like me, I'm going to hate them for it.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I knew it. I knew it, this freak. Joey likes... And for those of you guys that are audio listeners, he takes his tongue. He makes it sharp. Those of you guys that don't know, Joey's got a sharp tongue. I do. That has quite the butt crack on it. Does it? Yeah, you got a butt crack right down the middle of your tongue. Look at that shit. Look at it. No, don't look at my ass tongue. My butt tongue.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
His Tinder bio. Oh, so he thinks he's attracting a certain clientele. Let me guess. Let me guess. You're 25 with three kids.
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I will say that last, the very last line I am fully on board with. You're not a dog mom. You're a pet owner. That kind of goes hard. But does it? No, it doesn't. Fuck you. No. You call yourself dog dad?
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If anyone says you have any kids, you say, yeah, and he has four paws. If you did, Joey, tell me right now because I will shoot you in the back of the head.
The Basement Yard
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Well, I think there's this mentality that it's just like, women want a man that's a real man that tells them, like, where's my fucking dinner? And fuck you and your opinions. I'm going to handle everything. Like, they think that's what people want. Do they all sound like Stone Cold? I mean, I don't know. But don't disrespect Stone Cold Steve Austin, by the way. I love Stone Cold.
The Basement Yard
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Oh, my God. That'd be so sick. No, I think it's because, like, society tells them, like, men are not men anymore. Now they wear dresses, and they drink soy lattes, and they have, you know, friends that are women that they're not fucking. You know, like... Even straight guys are gay. Yeah, basically. So, like, they feel like...
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
And then he just like for some reason just like uses your strong tongue to just punch the shit out of this fucking cracker.
The Basement Yard
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the people that are in unable to formulate any opinion outside of what they're being told by the media think like, okay, so in order to appeal to the women that I want, I need to be a piece of shit.
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You're not a moron. That's why you don't get it. That's why I've stopped even trying to understand it. When I say, like, I don't get why these people are so stupid, it's because I'm not putting myself in the idiotic mindset to even try to comprehend it. That's why you don't get it. So you – I know how you are, Joey. You try to understand things that you don't get.
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#500 - Cheers To 500!
Sometimes if you don't get it and you don't understand it, just let it fucking be dumb and idiotic by itself.
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I just want to get this out. By the way, like four millers deep, this is what we're talking about right now.
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Not if men see you as a high-value man because that's not the market. I'm not going to say their names, but now all these fucking –
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like pro men podcasters that sit there and just be like you're high value because you're strong you're high value because you are your ancestors killed saber-toothed tigers like they have convinced people that are sitting in their fucking basement and playing video games for 20 hours a day which i'm not saying anything bad about that i love video game but like they have convinced those people that like
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
They need to go out and grab respect by the fucking horns and rein it in without giving the respect to other people.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
What are you talking about? So Joey, right before we were recording, was saying that he believes he is a high-value man and that people should be impressed when he walked into the room. Joey said, he's like, when I walk into the room, people say, oh my God, that's a guy that means more than anyone else in here. What are you talking about? I'm talking out of my ass, honestly.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I know, and I appreciate your point, but I also think that this is a comedy show where you talk a lot about comedy. Sorry, catch up. Go ahead. Sorry, catch up. You don't want to talk about that. What do you want to talk about? You can talk about it. I'm fucking around. Jesus Christ, Joey. I was in the middle of a thing. Good for you. You were in the middle of a thing.
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#500 - Cheers To 500!
You made your point that these people are idiots. We crossed that bridge back at fucking Timbuktu. Okay, so go ahead. Sorry. How's your day going? It was going good.
The Basement Yard
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Where does it choose to go? Why are we asking Ant as if he knows? This is the guy that walked over with a vodka diet Coke.
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That's more than half of the days of the week. That's less than half. Two. Be honest, though.
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Well, again, like Emma, are we getting after it or are we just like casually just like a dinner?
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I would say one at dinner, maybe two at dinner and then one at the cocktail bar. But like, if we're going for it, And it's like... What is going for? Like, I don't know, like the... 2011.
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that's not my answer what's yours more my answer is as much as joe drinks essentially i think like again like it it you have to match the atmosphere if the people at the table are just like yo we're gonna have a night then then it's like all right it's not about having a night because like if you drink a drink an hour there's never uh oh it's going down oh frank frank frank he wasn't looking at the cup um
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I don't know if it's my dream. This thing's coming out like piss. Yeah, look, I mean, this is a... I think this also speaks to the level of hydration that we both regularly keep, where yours looks a lot more healthy and mine looks like I am about to die.
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#500 - Cheers To 500!
You can hear a pin drop in here. I don't think you realize how borderline insane it sounds like. To do that? Yeah. You just chew them up and eat them?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I can't do alcohol the way I used to. I just can't. This is crazy. I don't know how we used to do this and then be like, let's get another.
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Dude, this is not an exaggeration. If we're going college, I could have drank this and then another. That's insane. Don't get me wrong. I would have been very drunk. Yeah. But, like, I would have been able to get through it. Bro, I don't think you realize... Because, like, we also drank the way that we were drinking was different. Now we're, like, casual. You know what I mean?
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Like, we're poor one. We're like... Like, it was just... It was a lot more binge drinking, like, back then than it is now.
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And it was also the way in which we were... Bro, we would drink... Think about this. We would play fucking... 10 games of beer pong a night. That's a beer in those two beers in those cups. So one beer per person. And we would have a drink in our hand while we were doing it. Like, you know, that's a lot of fucking alcohol.
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If it's that sort of... If the idea is to go out and enjoy... Day drinking? Day drinking, I can drink all day.
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Sometimes I'll like separate, you know, like I'll separate the cracker in my mouth where I'm like, you go over there, cracker. You and the cheese go over there. Segregation. You know, stop that. Yeah, exactly.
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#500 - Cheers To 500!
I'm not going to start swinging. I'm going to start crying. I'm an emotional drunk. Don't do that. No, you used to be Joey Muscles back in the day. You're referring to like 2013. Yep. That's why I said back in the day.
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People change. No, I know that, obviously. But like back in the day, you used to be Joey Muscles. I've always been a very happy, fun drunk. I that's something I hold very in very high regard because we know people that when they drink, it's like this is the worst person to be around in the world.
The Basement Yard
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Yeah, absolutely. Right. I think, and honestly, I think we're pretty close. There was a study that came out a couple of years ago that like the generation that's like turning 20 doesn't drink.
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And we, we, we, when we did the Penn state show, we joked about that and they were like, no, we're drinking brother. But like, that's a college crowd. Yeah. But I do think that alcohol is becoming less popular because with the current generation. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Well, there is stuff now. He means there'll be a pill that you can take that you could feel drunk. It's called drugs, brother. They have those. They have those.
The Basement Yard
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Yeah. You know, and then I eat it like that. But the only thing that I think I have a weird separation thing with when I eat is peanut M&M's.
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I spilled a little. Damn. All right, you win. You win. I can't do this. He has always said if... That's kind of crazy. I... Sorry, Mom. Anyway... Has your mom said, like, don't be drunk on the internet? No. Oh. Well, because I... Sorry, Liz. My mom. Sorry. Nancy is her name, Frank.
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peanut i'm cracking those bitches i crack the shell i remove the whole shell i remove the whole chocolate and then i got just the the the peanut in my mouth and i like to find the seam and i like to split that shit and then that little that little you know that little like bing bing on the top of the yes the peanut i love to take that it is sharp and i and i go and i get it all out of there and then i crack that bitch right down the middle yes yes yes i i love that i love that also robin's eggs
The Basement Yard
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I love cracking that shit in my mouth. Unbelievable. Robin's eggs are a top-tier candy, which is why I stand by Easter might have the best seasonal candy of any holiday.
The Basement Yard
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I think we celebrated 300. First of all, you hear her? She's screaming at you? She's yelling at me. Look. Careful on your fucking brand new computer, which by the way, yeah, Joey has used this thing more than any computer has been used in history. It's true to justify buying it. Um, it's so true, but in true basement art fashion, we got off the topic. Yeah. 500 episodes.
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Is this cause you started the show. Is this where you imagine the show would be?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Are you wearing tighty-whities like before? No. Oh, you would hate these. Why? They're not cream. They're not green or cream.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
There's no cream on these boxers. By the way, Frank— Gotta say that in a better way.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
A very, very bright orange. Enough. I was like, well, they were orange and blue. They were orange and blue or green. I can't remember. I have several pairs. Of those specific? They're socks. Enough. Enough with all the sock slander. Socks are meant to be fun and playful. They're the only article of clothing you can be really super playful with for only yourself. Shirts, everyone else sees it.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Everyone else sees it. So, like, you wear a playful shirt, people just be like, oh, my God, enough. Boxers and underwear for those that wear underwear and socks.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Like, I mean, like, tight underwear because, like, women wear, like, strings. Not boxers.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Listen up real quick. Ladies, let me speak on your behalf, okay? I'm going to protect you here. Thongs, they're sick, but if I was a woman, I wouldn't be wearing them. Unless it was like sexy time, here we go, bing, bang, boom. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I would wear them, like, if I'm trying to, like, if I know I'm getting myself into some shenanigans later. Okay. But, like, if I'm going straight comfort, baby, these panties is going to be granny's.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Like Spanx? But those are like on top of things, aren't they?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Spanx are like, you know? They're like shapewear, I think is what they're called.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
But the bottom of your butt sticks out. I just, the idea of wearing a thong and always having this thread in your asshole is... You probably don't feel it, though. I mean, yeah, they've probably, you know, through their life, warm enough. But, like, you're going to tell me that's made for comfort?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
It's insane. This dog is just trying to die on you, and you just won't let it happen, dude. When was the last time you went to the vet?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
You have a stash. Damn right I do. Yep. Hold on. There he is.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Does that mean, like, serious questions here? Yep. I remember you talked about the hot spots that dogs get because they lick them. So, in your head, were you like, my dog's penis is a real hot spot right now?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
A vodka diet? That sounds miserable. Right before we started recording, we noticed Ant was really sheepishly quiet in the corner over there. And then I just hear the ice clinking in the glass as he's walking over. And it was clear he couldn't not be involved in the celebration.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
The sheath. Incredible. I was ready to attack you, but I love that. Go ahead.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Welcome back to the Bay- welcome back to the basement yard we're back he's all in red i'm all in red lady in red is that a song lady in red it is a song lady in red got it what i don't know who's by it who's by it or who sings it joel billy joel is singing lady in red i don't know he doesn't strike me as a red guy he's like a blue guy blue collar blue like i'm billy joe blue blue
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Bro, I was blown away because I couldn't even believe the gall to speak to someone like that. Is that even an option? It happened. it was fucking keep it warm for me 730 when we got breakfast on that red eye and out comes tortellini yeah and i was like how did this guy fucking finagle this whole situation it's 8 a.m he's eating the short rib from last night yeah dude i was so confused
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I didn't know, honestly, I thought being on a plane, it's just like, you're in our confines. You do what we're telling you you can do. Yeah, like your shit will come when we bring it out. Well, like you go to a restaurant and like you could be like, I want this, I want that, you know, hold this or da-da-da-da-da. This guy was making edits to his order. I was just like, this is nuts.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I didn't know you could do this in the sky. You're just at a restaurant and you're like, yeah, I'll have this, this, and this. Bring it in two hours. Like, what? That's basically what he did. But also, like, when I wake up. Bro, if I'm a flight attendant, I'm not paying attention to when you're awake or not. Yeah. I'm just going to see you and be like.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
you're another person on this flight the plane is one of the places the plane and the gym are the two places that i'm noticing that i've become very agitated by people where like when people are just so oblivious and it's like you're clearly not thinking you're in a public place yeah like you're the only person here and you're just doing all these things there's a guy that goes to my gym
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
and it's an apartment building gym it's not even a public gym and he shows up in like jeans and he like trains some dude i don't i guess or something but he'll have like a coffee and his keys and his wallet and he'll just like leave it everywhere and like on the bench or whatever and it's like they're not even using it and i'm like bro how and talking mad loud yeah it's like bro how can i ask you how old is this person
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
uh he looks like he's like late 30s oh that's worse yeah i was gonna say that sounds pretty in line with what you expect from like someone in like their late 40s early to mid 50s maybe even 60s because they just they it's their world we're just fucking living in it you know but like late 30s is a bit nuts or like people get on a flight and they'll make an announcement like before you board and they're like it's a
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
full flight and if you're in these rows then you're gonna have to like you know check your bag or whatever the fuck you know sometimes they make announcements like that and then people get on this plane and they put their bag their personal item they start taking off their clothes then put their clothes up there and then they then they sit down then in the middle of boarding will pop back up and take their bag down and then start getting stuff that they need out of their bag
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
paper cup i'm just talking as things are happening i think red is very like you know like yeah like evil cat and like no red is like to me red is like energy and explosiveness explosions yeah i see that red also a combination of stuff too what's a sad color sad Gray. Yeah. Gray. Like I think Eeyore, you know, like Eeyore is like blue. Navy blue to me is also like, Navy blue to me is like regal.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And everyone's waiting for you. It's like, bro, get these people out of here.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I will say, I think that is the absolute exact description of just like an entitled American asshole.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
It's pretty bad. But it's not, you know, that's not us. That's all we can do. In Europe, I did notice that like there is no rules when deboarding. Grab your shit, get off. Well, also, like, the people... Like, here, typically, it's like, if the row's ahead of you, there are people sitting down.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You wait, they get out, they grab their stuff, and they go. In Europe, everyone's flying off that plane. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And, like, I'm trying to pick a time to get in so I can just grab my shit, and there's just old people fucking...
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
sending it bro i i couldn't believe how easy those flights were in terms of like how quick they were bro from the fucking the first flight we did from uh scotland to london it was just like we get up bing we're gone we're on our way down yeah you know like it's crazy how like close everything is yeah but how different a lot of them feel the accents the fucking architecture everything
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Bro, there was... I mean, America, we talk about the accents we have in America. I feel like in England alone, there's way more accents than there are stuff here. And I can't do them, so don't even ask me, Joe.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Oh, Frank, can you do them? No. Yeah, no. It's interesting. But... Yeah, that's that. We do have some sponsors for today. Oh, okay. We do have some sponsors for today.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
We've got Squarespace. Squarespace is where you're going to go to build your websites, okay? They're the ones that you... Their website is the one you use, okay?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You're going to use their website to build your website, okay? That we can visit your website through Squarespace. You understand?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
But they have a number of reasons why you should use them. This is the only platform that I use to build websites. They have the best templates, in my opinion. They have these templates that you can click on and see what your website will look like. It just kind of moves the process so far along when it comes to being creative about building a website.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Usually in the past, you've had to hire people. It's very expensive to build it from scratch, and you have to make a bunch of creative calls. But these templates are very helpful because you can just click on them, sets up the landing pages for you.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You just switch out the photos and the information and you're good to go. So all the formatting is done for you. It's great and have a bunch of different ones. So it's not just like there's one and all your websites look the same. It's cool. They also have a bunch of tools that you can use to optimize all your traffic to let you know where your traffic's coming from, which is a, you know,
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
whatever just make it the more optimal way to to get people to your website so if you have a small business or you make content or whatever website's very important it is your first impression so you're going to use the best and squarespace is the best so go check them out squarespace.com basement and you'll save 10 off your first purchase of a website or a domain using the code basement again that is squarespace.com basement and you will save 10 off of your first purchase of a website or a domain using that code basement and
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I've gotten a lot of messages in the past of people saying they used it and they built their website and stuff and that it was awesome. So listen, not just saying it up here. People are using it and people are loving it. So there you go. This podcast is also sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
So you want to talk to a therapist. In-person therapy can cost anywhere from $100 to $250 per session. I've looked at in-person therapy before. Sometimes it's double that. It's wild.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
uh... depends where you are but it's very expensive but better help you know you can save up to fifty percent per session on there so it's more affordable it's customizable you can do it whatever frequency you want your talk on the phone you want to text you want to do whatever
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
um you want to do it weekly or bi-weekly bi-monthly you can do it whatever you want it's customizable for you so go check them out um you can go to betterhelp.com base me are today and you'll get 10 off of your first month so if you just want to start therapy you can do so they have also a very quick onboarding process so you can talk to a therapist very quickly
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And yeah, so go to betterhelp.com slash basemanyard today and get that 10% off of your first month. That is betterhelp, spelled B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash basemanyard. Enjoy. And you know what? If you enjoy us and you want us to come along for whatever journey you're about to take. why don't you go to patreon.com slash the basement yard and sign up today.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Listen, I tell you guys about it every single week. This is the way that you can directly help support us and keep the lights on here because you know what? Joe likes to shut them off and throw things at me and then scream obscenities at me. So you don't want that to happen. Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. You sign up for that first tier.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance. And then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday that are just kind
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
of all over the place and a little crazy a little nuts uh and they're a lot of fun you can get them you can start your week and your week with the basement yard so go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard we thank you guys who have signed up and continue to support us and show us so much love and support and if you're thinking of signing up do me a favor go on your web browser go to patreon.com slash the basement yard and sign up there because i don't want to say anything about big daddy apple but you know it's not as uh
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Like I think it's because of the Navy in it. Could be. It's just like, it's a very like, yeah, I want to salute you because of the Navy blue that you're wearing. What does white do for you? I'm terrified of it. I knew you were going to do that. No, I think, honestly. Actually, black and white are not colors. Yeah, I think they're like hues and shades or something like that.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
fun for us if people sign up on the app so go to your web browser wherever you like to use it whether it be internet explorer and carta anything you like to use go to patreon.com slash the basement yard thanks for supporting us thanks for loving us we're gonna keep trying to make you happy smile and everything in between all right what is it in carta You don't remember Encarta?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Uh, need to tell you a story. Oh, I know you're going to love it. I know you get very scared about stuff. You know how I am then. So listen, more alien shit. Come on. I don't like alien shit. I don't know why this isn't talked about in the news, but there's this alien story is bananas. Hold on. Before you get to this, what did you say before our flight? Cause you know how I am before flights.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Anyone, someone brings something up. I'm like, Oh, I said, I looked up the turbulence and it was bad.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
right before we're about to get on our flight he goes oh no it was the day before whatever still right before if it made you feel any better and I also omitted this information I don't know why because I was afraid that you would be upset that I would even bring up turbulence again I was but I looked it up the next morning and it looked like they were like oh never mind it's not gonna be that bad okay thank god yeah but also on the flight there was a guy next to me who had like oh like a flight weather thing open and I just saw I looked over and I saw red so
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
fuck wait he had like a whole computer yeah dude oh that's and he was like tracking it and shit and i was just like oh god here we go all right ruin my week with this alien stuff okay so i don't know why the news hasn't talked about this or any people don't know about it but like this is wild to me i'm fine i'm fine not knowing you know how i am ignorance is you don't have a choice the other people do uh the ci there was a cia document uh explained that the alleged aircraft was flying low and quietly above the soviet
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
A Soviet unit. What? While they were engaged in a training mission. Long story short. Soviet unit? Yeah. Like a Soviet. Like a Russian plane? They were over Russia and the fucking army there.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Anyway, shut off my volume. So there was a low-flying aircraft over, like, Russia. Long story short, shot it down, right? Russians don't fuck around, man. Not at all. Oh, no. So according to the only two soldiers who survived, when the soldiers approached the craft, they shot it down.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Five aliens freed themselves of the debris and came close together near the wreck. Moments later, the soldiers said the group of aliens merged into a single object that acquired a spherical shape.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Required a spherical shape? Yeah, it became like an orb, essentially. So five of them got out, they got close together, became one circular dude. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You know? And then a new ball-like alien began to buzz and hiss before igniting into a brilliant white light. And then 23 out of 25 of these soldiers turned into stone. That's what this thing says.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
One time I told someone that I love the color black, and they were like, it's not a color. It's the absence of color. It might have been you. Or you. Honestly, I was going to say you should have attacked them, but it is possible that it was me. Yeah. So don't attack me. I won't. Um, but do you, I don't, I can't remember the last time I saw you wear red. Do you wear red?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Oh, God. Let me be very fucking clear about something. This isn't a bit. This isn't for he-he's, ha-ha's. This isn't for anyone else but me. I hate this, really. Like, in my soul, I hate hearing stuff like this. And I was just talking, that's so crazy that you brought this up. I have to fix my hair. I was just talking with my sister-in-law about this, and she's like, why?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Why don't you like to hear about all this stuff? And I was like, because there's this beautiful little island of ignorance that I live on where it's nice to not hear stuff like this. Because guess what's going to go through my head now tonight? Turned into stone? That fucking waking up and seeing my children and wife is a ball of stone. No, no. The people. Don't specify it.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Turned into stone poles is what they said. Stone poles? Yeah, like stripper poles. Like, what does that mean? Stone pole alien Austin.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
It said the only reason why two of the men survived is because they were standing in a shaded area at the time. What the hell does that even mean? I think that maybe that just means they were behind a wall or something. Oh my God. Well, then how would they have seen the bald, the rat king of aliens? I think they saw like the bright light.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
But then how would they know that they formed into a spherical alien ball? Bro, I don't know. First of all, where are you getting this from? This is Daily Mail. Daily Mail. Are you sure this isn't the text thread that you're in with Alex Jones? No.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
But according to the Journal of Applied Physics, it is possible to use high energy radiation or electromagnetic pulses to change normal matter into plasma, a form that is not liquid, solid, or gas. CIA described aliens as short humanoids with large heads and large black eyes. Let me ask you a question.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
If you're going as far enough to shoot this thing out the sky, why are you even giving them a chance to become an alien ball? Because hear me out. They didn't know they were going to be an alien ball? Hear me out, brother. I'm not Russian. Let's imagine I am, okay? Hold on. Okay, go. Got it. I shoot this thing... Do your best gun noise. Ready? Three, two. Come on. Give me a better gun noise.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I went with one click, though, Joey. Thank you. Once I walk over and I see something move, guess what I'm doing with the rest of the ammo in the chamber? Yeah, it's gone. I already went as far enough to shoot this thing out the sky. I don't think they knew what it was yet.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And then they saw aliens. Bro, imagine you witnessed this. where five aliens came out of this thing and then just formed into a super mega fucking one.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You know, I love Megazords. So I, a part of me is... Would a part of you be hype? You'd be like, oh my God, they're turning into... No, no, no, no, no. Sighting like old Power Ranger episodes. No. That looks just like the 1997 Doctor Ooze or whatever the fuck. You're two years off. 1995 is when the movie came out. And Ivan Ooze, he wasn't a doctor as far as we know. Um... I'm just saying.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You don't strike me as a red guy. You're like, I have a red jacket that I've worn. You're like, I don't want to say muted, but like your color palette that works for you is more whites and creams and browns and
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
That's so crazy. I'm just saying. I wouldn't even give... Bro, the moment I saw this thing start to move, I'm shooting again. I'm not giving it a chance to form a ball with its boys, dude. Yeah, no. I'm not giving it a chance. And then they were like, it started buzzing and hissing. Guess what that ball of alien is getting? Hissing. More bullets. Yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Bro, anything hisses at me, my immediate reaction is to kick it at least. Dude, there's no way, no goddamn way. I am fine. Bro, there are so many stories that come out and it's just like, the government's hiding it from you. They don't want you to know the truth. You know why they do that? What do they say in the movies? We got to protect the people. If they panic, it'll be chaos.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You know who those people are? bing this guy right here i don't want to know if they're just like oh it's like a mass conspiracy to cover up aliens turning into a big gooey ball of alien bros and turning people into stone poles you think i want that information you think i need that information no let me go forever what do you tell the families He died. He was, he's, I mean, he's here.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I mean, you've seen enough of movies or stuff where they're just like, uh, he died in combat. You know, we, we didn't recover his body when like the body is used to prop up the fucking construction at a Denny's or something. Like, I, I just, I don't need this.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I mean, brother, it doesn't sound like they're just like, we need five. Dude, they killed 23 guys. In a flash. 23 polls, dude. Russian guys. I don't know. Different guys. I don't know. Listen, I do not know. What Russian basic training entails. But I know that it's better than ours. I can imagine. They are fighting bears, dude. Brother. I know he's not Russian. Khabib is from what?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
He's from Dagestan. Okay. I don't know. I know he's not Russian. That's Russian, I believe. Okay. I don't know. I didn't know that. You've got to be careful. Those other two are on the... They're looking for revenge. I think Dagestan's his own country. Okay. But they're out there... Didn't he openly say he fought and trained with bears and shit like that? Yeah. He's from Russia. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
blacks like it's not very like poppy color like if you walked in with a pink shirt I think I would my eyes would fall out of my head I did wear a yellow rain jacket on the last episode that was orange we've talked about that quite a bit it's up for debate No, it is certainly not up for debate.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah, it's a republic. Dude. If 23... Well, 25 Russian soldiers can't take down five gooey little fucks, you think... I'm even giving this a second thought. I am taking every gun that I can get my hands on and I'm emptying the clip in that direction. Dude, speaking of the government lying and stuff, there was also a story about they found the Ark of the Covenant, which I didn't know what that was.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You've never seen Indiana Jones? No, I've never seen Indiana Jones.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Uh, I'd also just, it just sounds like a, I think we've known that for a while. Still baffling. You've never seen an Indiana Jones movie. Yeah. I don't know. I do like whips though.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Not like that. Oh God. I meant like, you know, like get that thing off the table. Like that sounds like I'm hitting my wife. Get that off the table.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I know what you're talking about. I've dug a hole, and there's no way of getting out now. You're digging the hole right down. That's not what I meant. And you're just going to live in it. It's okay. But I do like those whips. They're cool. I've cracked an actual whip, and they're cool as hell. I would never do that. I'd be afraid that I would hit myself in the face.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I mean, if you crack it this way, but if you just... And it cracks, brother. That shit makes the legit sound. It's terrifying. I just... Dude, they found the Ark of the Covenant. So you've never seen Raiders of the Lost Ark is the one with the Ark of the Covenant. So you don't even know what happens when they finally open it. Wait, what is the Ark of the Covenant? I have it pulled up right here.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
According to Jewish and Christian tradition, the gold-plated wooden chest... housed the two tablets bearing the ten commandments uh and there's like some old relics in there and it's believed to be like oh so it's a treasure chest what do you call stuff that's like god lives like his soul is like holy no what's godly horcrux horcrux is that not scott something
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I think, I don't know, like... The word that I was going to use is so not what it is. Omniscient? What is that? Because, like, omnipotent means, like, of God-like status. I was going to say omnipresent, but that's not it. I mean, it's kind of, maybe. But, like, it's like God, yeah. It's like God's shit. It's like a, it's essentially a horcrux for God. Kind of. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
So like, I'm not even, no, you're not going to like stab a book and he's going to, you know, with a basilisk thing or something, it probably won't happen. But God is just like, that's mine. And then it starts to glow.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah. But apparently the CAA, uh, found it.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Just so we're all clear. I may have some sort of blindness because it feels like very obviously yellow to me. Brother, I think at this point in time you would know if you had a form of color blindness. Like this is like yellow obviously. That's very yellow. And like the jacket. Do I have the jacket? The jacket's over there on the table. We don't need to get up and get it.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Oh, the CIA found it. And then William Morris picked it up. Yeah. Apparently they found it by using psychics.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
It says, they conducted experiments as part of the secret project Sunstreak. What? So what, they had the Long Island Medium out there and she's like, uh, anyone know what this is?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Like, I don't think you guys realize. I've said this before and I'll say it again. Fiyero is on to something, okay? Who the hell is that? From Wicked. Okay? Life is more painless for the brainless. I don't need to know certain things because then I need to grapple with the reality of them. I am very comfortable. We get it, dude. You don't want to know, but you're gonna.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
The CIA conducted experiments as part of the secret Project Sunstreak. which they never come up with good names, with individuals known as remote viewers, a type of clairvoyant who claimed they could project their consciousness to receive information about faraway objects.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
So you're telling me they have a three-eyed... This is a three-eyed raven. They're, like, sitting there. Oh, shit, yeah, I guess so. And then they're, like, going to find this chest. See, you know, like...
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
There's no credible scientific evidence that remote viewing exists.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
This is what happened, but we have no basis off of telling if it happened or not. It's just one person that wears socks on their hands in order to protect them from forever chemicals in the oxygen. is telling us this, so we're gonna take it as credit and run with it. What happened to journalism, brother?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
What happened to good old Walter Cronkite who's just like, you know what, I'm gonna tell them this because I know it's, I am cred, I believe it's true. Who the hell, this is, did you get this from Alex Jones too? No. Okay. This is Yahoo. And when has Yahoo ever steered us wrong? I mean, I haven't been on Yahoo in God knows how long. Remember those commercials? Yahoo! pretty good.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Like that's orange. Of course. But that's like a deep orange.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Individuals opening the container by prying or striking are destroyed by the container's protectors through the use of a power unknown to us.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Ooh, they have a picture! Don't look at it. Yeah, Joey, close that. Don't look at it. So you clearly haven't seen Raiders of the Lost Ark. Close your eyes, Marion! Oh, is that a thing? You can't look at it? Well, so, I mean, spoiler for a 50-year-old movie at this point. I'm not sure exactly when it came out. But...
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
the Nazis find hold up the Nazis are involved in Raiders of the Lost Ark is all of Indiana Jones the bad guys are Nazis except for one where it's like I don't want to get insensitive, but it's like a witch doctor or something. There's a little tinge of racism in there. I honestly had no idea. I thought he was fighting old demons or something.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Well, there's a little bit of that, brother, but it starts with the Nazis. So the Nazis are like, we are going to find something. We are going for Hitler. We are going to find the Ark of the Covenant.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I know what it looks like. I don't need to see it. Is it, you're not allowed to see it in the movie? So they get it. And then he's just like, don't open it. And they're just like, and then there's a back and forth and then they open it. And Indiana Jones says to his lady, like, yo, close your eyes. And then the ghosts pop out of that thing and fuck them up, dude. Really? They fuck these people up.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah. Yeah. That was a weird moment. But wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You see people's faces melting and shit. You've never seen that gif of the Nazi face melt.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
The Nazi face melted. And the fucking face and everything melts away and shit. That's Raiders of the Lost Ark. Yeah, dude. No. And then the second one, the guy shoves his hand in the guy's chest and pulls out his heart. I honestly have never. Do me a favor. I know like, I don't know if you are not watching them for any specific reason. No, I just haven't. You should watch them.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I wanted to start this episode with something important, not important. It was a little dramatic. On my flight home, I just learned this thing. I had the weirdest interaction you can possibly have with a flight attendant ever. I went to the bathroom and I get up there. Well, first of all, I stand up, turbulence immediately. I'm bouncing around.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I mean, now at this point, I didn't know there was going to be melted Nazis in them. Hell yeah. Yeah. There's melted Nazis, all right. The best kind. I mean, you said it. And I agreed with it. If your face starts to melt, It's okay because we have ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
This is what I was using when I first got off of my parents. health insurance. And I was like, how am I going to find a doctor?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I don't know anything. And I did some Googling. I found ZocDoc and it's very helpful. All these doctors are patient reviewed. So you can see their score at a five, I believe. And you go in, you put in your insurance, you put in which doctor you want to see, whether it be a primary care physician, dermatologist, or whatever you need.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And you put that in and it'll give you all the doctors in your area and their rating and their next available appointments. And usually you can go like if you do it early enough, you can maybe get same day, maybe the day after, maybe two days. It's not very long.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
So it's nice. It's a great way to find like either a specialist or a doctor in your area, because a lot of the time I think people go off of word of mouth. But. If you're out there by yourself and you want to try and find a doctor in your area that you need something for, you have no recommendations, ZocDoc has got you covered, okay?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
But stop putting off all those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash basement to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That is Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash basement, all right? So go get your stuff done, folks. And lastly, here we have SimpliSafe.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
SimpliSafe, millions of Americans enjoy the new standard in home security and greater peace of mind every time they arm their system.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
No long-term contracts or cancellation fees.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Monitoring plans start affordably at $1 a day. 60-day satisfaction guarantees or your money back, but they have a system in place so that if someone were trying to break into your house or there's a fire or anything like that, then the proper authorities are called and brought to your house to try and, you know, keep you as safe as possible.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
They have an active guard outdoor protection that can help prevent break-ins before they happen. So there's a lot of stuff that they have. It's your home. You want to keep it safe. You should have a security system just as, like, you know, Be as safe as possible.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You can visit simplisafe.com slash basement to claim 50% off a new system with professional monitoring plan and get your first month for free. Okay, that is simplisafe.com slash basement spelled S-I-M-P-L-I-S-A-F-E dot com slash basement. There's no safe like SimpliSafe.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Boom. I'm not enjoying the conversations about aliens. I'll go light. I'll go light with you. How's this? You just dumped all over me. What do you mean I'll go light on you? You just told me that there's balls of alien jizzing together and they're fucking turning people to stone poles. Stone poles. I will say this. Yep.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
If I were to die, getting turned into a stone pole doesn't sound like the worst way.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I don't know if I want to be a stone pole. All I'm hearing is stone pole Steve Austin, too. Me, too, honestly.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Every time we say it, I'm like, stone pole. Can you pull up the thing about KFC made a fried chicken something? Oh, yeah. What is it, a toothpaste? So, yes, I saw this. So, apparently, KFC, which I don't know if we're legally allowed to call Kentucky Fried Chicken anymore.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
The fucking piss in my bladder is bouncing around like loose change in a dryer.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
There was, like, a lawsuit years ago I heard about that it was just, like, they got sued because, like, they couldn't legally call it... Oh, because it's not Kentucky? Chicken or something like that. But, like, they made a...
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
fried chicken flavored toothpaste which i do like fried chicken i love fried chicken i would try it no i've had flavored toothpaste before yeah but nothing that's like meat flavored brother yeah it's like strawberry or mint or bubble gum Hell yeah, now we're talking. I used to eat toothpaste when it was like that. I know it's not good for me. You shouldn't do that. When I was young.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
question um so i was on this flight it was on our way home from dublin yeah uh orland as they call it over there um i noticed that they like you you're not allowed to walk up by where you rich people are you know what i'm saying they close the car they close the curtains and and then on top of closing the curtains there's a sign that says don't come up here unless you're one of us
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I will say, I think it was Crest. They had toothpaste, like kids' toothpaste, that had little glitter things in it. Yeah. If you had told me it was candy, I would have eaten it with a spoon. Yeah. But I probably would have had some long-lasting issues.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Don't tell me they're going crazy with it now. What is a tube of toothpaste nowadays?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
How much do you think that costs? Seven bucks, six bucks. For a tube? Holy shit. He hasn't brushed his teeth. What does it cost? You know? Yeah, I think it's, like, more expensive than you think because everything is just giant expensive now. I don't know why I reacted that way because I was going to say six. Yeah. And you said seven, eight. Six or seven, I would say, you know?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And, like, that's just, like, the base stuff. It's because seven, eight, nine. There you go. So if you get into the whole like, you know, like this is organic charcoal toothpaste that's going to make your mouth look whiter than ever. You ever see that when people have black toothpaste? I'm like, I can't do it. So I tried black mouthwash, charcoal mouthwash. Stupid.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Does it make you look like your throat? Did you pretend to be like a zombie? I pretended I was Danny DeVito, the penguin. That's a good one. I was just like. Yeah. No, it was gross and disgusting. And it was, it didn't, it also like, it didn't feel like I was cleaning my teeth, if that makes sense. What did it feel like?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
It just felt like I was getting, I was wishing around, whooshing around mud water in my mouth. Ew. And, you know, like, I know it's probably wrong, but like, you know, like regular, like Scope or Listerine. They're so... They bite you. They're so strong that it feels like I'm getting the job done. Bro, I could... Yeah. I could breathe ice after one of those. But like... Yeah, I didn't like it.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I would never do this. I would say this toothpaste, if a regular tube is like $7, I'm going to say this one is... Here's the thing. Okay. I think that they know that they have a novelty on their hands, and it's by a company, Hizmil. I've never even heard that one. No, I did the same thing, but was it called High Smile? It's High Smile because it's a toothpaste. I mean, it's spelled Hizmil.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Well, there's fries in the way. Oh, the fries.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I'm not the idiot here. It's the people that spelled it all one word. I would do crazy things to that biscuit right now, honestly. I'll tell you this. If they just gave me Kentucky Fried Chicken flavored chicken, I'm all about it. I would love that. Oh, my God. A bucket of chicken? Hell yeah. I love that chicken comes in buckets. It's clear. It's so American. It hurts.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
A plate is not enough. Fill a bucket. Yeah. Hell yeah.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
It's awesome. It's clearly a novelty. so and it's from a company I've never heard of I imagine they have like more expensive stuff you know like you get like now you can buy like $20 sticks of deodorant we're all going the world is going to burn itself from the inside out You know when I knew the world was ending?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
When I went to a Yankee game and they sold sodas that come with a cup with chicken tenders and fries.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Hey, man. And the straw goes through that. Hey, man.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I was like, we're going down. Hey, man. That's just ingenuity. It is ingenuity. That is just genius, modern ingenuity. But I knew it was the beginning of the end when I saw that. I'm going to say this is $14.99. Okay. So we have $12.99.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah, which is crazy. Segregation exists on planes, apparently.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
The limited edition KFC dental kit is available on HisMiles. Click on that thing. It's clickable. I want to know what the fuck is in here. Yeah, well, I imagine it's the toothpaste, the toothbrush. So you get, all right, let's see this. This is crazy. What's all those emojis up there for?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Oh, they have just wild, crazy toothpaste flavors? So what is that? Blueberry, watermelon, loving this so far. Is that a lion's head? I see a lightning bolt. What's that?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I don't like it, but was the bathroom nicer?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Energy drink flavored, and it's electric charge. I will say, the packaging, quality. Ant. Yes. We should buy a couple of these. Alright. Hold on, is that a fucking tiramisu? Below the lightning bolt, is that a tiramisu? Oh my god, get it. I'm back. I'm back. Oh my god, buy it.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
It's a slightly bigger bathroom than I've been in other plane bathrooms. That sentence meant nothing. That literally meant nothing. I tried to make it slightly bigger. It was slightly bigger.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
All right, let's get some. Well, the dental kit was $72. So that probably, can you find out what the dental kit comes with?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Oh. I would kind of hate not loving that I like it. What does that mean? Oh, Biscoff cookie toothpaste. Oh, Mikey is creaming his jocks right now.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Let me tell you. What else do they got? Click on all of them, dude. I'm freaking horny.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
We got to see this. Sherbet next. Go home. Ice pop.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Love bang pops. What's that? Blue raspberry.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Chupa Chups. Chupa Chupa Chupa Chups Cola. I don't know what that is.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Chupa Chups are like lollipops. I didn't know they had cola. I don't know what these things are. I mean, we're going to go through all of them, bitch. Lychee. I've never had a Lychee.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
All right. Let's see the bag. The Simpsons Purple Squishy Toothpaste. I don't even know what that could mean. Yeah. What does it taste like? And also, does it have anything to do with purple ketchup? Because if that's what we're working with, I'm kind of on board here. Pistachio Poppy. Ooh. I mean, I'm in for the... Actually, no. No? No way. Get it out of here, dude.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I don't like pistachio flavored stuff. Wow. I like pistachios. What's that? Is that a cocktail on the bottom row there? Chili Marge. Joey's going to shove that up his butt and fucking sit. I'm going to spray it in. He's going to spray that in his ass. I will say this.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
This is crazy that, like, they... I never in a million years would have thought of, like, crazy... Just keep going while I'm talking, Ant, while you're at it.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Rainbow straps. I got excited. I'm just saying. I never would have thought... Rainbow Shrap sounds like something else.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I never in a million years would have thought of this flavored toothpaste at this level, where it's just like, here, have a Chile Con Carne flavored toothpaste. I think it's a good idea. Unless it's not good to put... Here's my thing that I'm scared about. What is getting that flavor? That's what I mean.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I made it so hard. That's all I wanted to say. I know you were in first class, whatever it was called. I don't remember.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
That's what's scary because then when it's just like natural flavors or artificial flavoring, it's just like, oh, so you're just eating candy and brushing your teeth with sugar paste at this point. Do they have like an ingredient list or something? I don't think you need that flavor. List of ingredients. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Do we have any like red 40? Don't let me click on it.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Aqua, sorbitol, glycerin, hydrated silica, xylitol flavor aroma. Xanthan gum? That's not good for you. No, I mean, xanthan gum is like fine. I can't. Sea salt, zinc lactate, lime. It doesn't look like there's anything too insane. I just don't know what any of that stuff is.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
red is more like uh sexy like dirty like it well i don't mean no what is going up well mean yes do you associate any feelings with colors i know we're getting psychologically that is a real thing i know it's synesthesia or something like that right no that's like when you can see colors oh okay with like words and so like it's psychological i know like mcdonald's and a lot of restaurants use red because it makes you feel like hungry and stuff like that but like
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
They're just like, okay, all right, what do we have in here? Pryoposphonate. Oh, they have pylofloxacin. Methyldipuracide.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I haven't seen anything that I know besides sea salt. I know. And water. Is that last thing lemonade? Oh, no, never mind. I thought it was lemonade. All right, let's see what other flavors we got in this bitch. By the way, you said your friend uses this toothpaste? Danny, yeah. Has his teeth not fallen out yet, dude? I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yes, there it is. Was the perks perky? Were they perky perks? Were they like... Worth it? Because you were up there and I was just like, damn, I could see you, first of all.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Does he get these flavors, or does he just, like, sticks to, like, you know, the missionary of the flavors, which is peppermint? What's the cupcake-looking one? I imagine it's probably just going to be, like, birthday cake. No, it's, like, down. To the left. You're right there. To the left. Oh, I see it. Mint chocolate toothpaste.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Go to fucking hell. Yo, let me shut up. Yeah. You know, hate this. So you're brushing your teeth with poop. Cool. Next, give me another flavor. I can't believe that this is a real thing in America. Gummy bear. But again, what do gummy bears taste like? They taste like they're flavored like over fruit. So like it's orange or cherry or something. So like gummy bear.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I'm glad they're buying a thousand of these. Yeah. Honestly, should we have an episode where we're just brushing our teeth? Yeah. All right, give me another baby.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Is that a candy? It's got to be because when they spelled flavor with a U, I knew this was some probably stupid Canadian shit. So it's probably like a Timmy's candy up there where it's like, oh, have a red frog. They're not British, but you know what I'm saying. What is that one that's just letters?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Strawberry cream Yoshi toothpaste. That doesn't sound too bad. This is too much. What's the fourth one from the top? Just go line by line. Just go line by line. It just looks like a lion. What is that? That's Chupa Chups. That's the Chupa Chups.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah. Just like, this is too much. Mint bomb? Okay. I'm into it. I like mint. And I like bombs. I don't know where I stand on bombs. I'm indifferent about bombs. I'm indifferent about bombs. The bombs I'm indifferent about. You know? Is that a beach ball?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Honestly, I'll say this though. Oh my God. Transparency. That looks like so much. It looks like I have seen some of Becca's like makeup or something that looks like that. I didn't know where that was going for a second. I'm saying like the bottle, the packaging.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
So, like, it's not like you were, like, in, like, another wing. Through the door that they closed.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I don't know. OK, what's the other donut? I mean, I imagine it's just another donut flavor. It's glazed donut.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah. Okay. And what's the other strawberry frosted?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Probably pink donut. Okay. I like the pink donut. Give us, just click all the ones that we haven't seen yet, babe. Pina colada. Big fan of that. I like the drink. I don't know if I would like the toothpaste. I would like it. What's the one that looks like a bunny?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Oh, it's probably going to be like a collab on like Miffy. Yeah, something like that.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You got to get some of these toothpaste in here. I mean, half of them or three quarters of them are sold out. Does Danny get like cool flavors? Have you tried them? I just asked that. Did you?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Through that fucking net that they closed and hiss at us. You can look through the net, you gnats. But, like, were the perks perky for you? Um...
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Because like here's the thing with toothpaste is like it's there for a specific job. Bro, I'm going to brush my teeth. With a donut. What? You're grown adults and there's a guy upstairs brushing his teeth with like donut flavored shit.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Like, it's just funny to imagine. What's the one that's next to KFC? What's that? This is the Simpsons. The other side of it.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Oh, we like ran through all these now. Interesting. I mean, dude, the cinnamon donut. That's coming home with me. I mean, no, apparently not. It's sold out everywhere. That's because it's so good. They made a big fucking mistake leaving the tiramisu available, though. Honestly, you got to worry, though. Why is it still available? Do people not like it?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I don't know, but they're about to be sold out. I hate this. I want to make it clear. Will I try it? If 10 tubes of it showed up here... Tomorrow. $130 worth of toothpaste. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. You're not paying for it. So, like, why not, you know? I don't know what I was about to say. Honestly, I'm afraid of what would happen to that.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Joey would brush his teeth eight times a day if he has that tiramisu toothpaste. I'll just be walking into the bathroom just being like. Also, 2.1 ounces, that's not a lot. Or 60 grams. Like, that's probably not a lot. It's probably, like, this big.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah. Which is just massive. Yeah, that's more than enough, I think. More than enough. Now that I think about it.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Boy, in God's name, we need anything more than that. Enough to choke you, honestly. I hate this toothpaste, and I hope that the company does well for itself. Making... Massive plug for this company. Yeah, by the way. His mill. Yeah, his mill. His mile. Listen, if they just happen to send us one of every flavor... Even the ones that are sold out. Don't be cheap. Don't be cheap. Mr. Smile.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
i don't know because any i've i haven't flown internationally that much but i usually try to book delta one um but where you are sitting i think you guys got the same shit as me yeah as far as like the food uh probably and i think drink i mean i didn't drink on the plane but like bro Crazy thing, by the way.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Mr. Smile. Mr. Hismal. Mr. Hismal. I wonder if there's other companies that do this. Flavored toothpaste. Not just flavored toothpaste, but just something else you wouldn't even think about. Flavored, here we go, copyright. So flushable wipes are a big thing. A lot of people don't use them. Where are you going? Just hear me out. Hear me out. Hear me out. Flushable wipes. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You really shouldn't use them because they're not good, but companies still make them. Really? Yeah. They're very, there's like, it's known as like, there is no like safe flushable wipe. They all fuck up your system. It's just a matter of how much do it. Oh, I thought you're talking about your body. Oh, not this system. The plumbing system. Yeah. You know, the home plumbing, not the human plumbing.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Right. What if we made flavored wet wipes? Frank, see, this is where I was trying to prevent you from going because what the fuck are you talking about? I mean, how many wet wipes have you eaten? No, not for eating. For what? Do I need to spell it out for you, Joey? Do you want me to wipe my butt with like a glazed donut flavored wet wipe? What am I getting out of that?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You're walking away with your ass smelling like a glazed donut. I don't think I want that. No? I don't need a tiramisu smelling ass. But if you had one, would you be happy?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I'm just saying. It might not be a necessity, but we as a country clearly have moved past can you to you should. But also, like, we're saying flavored. It should be scented.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Sure. I swear to God, I thought that was very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fine with that. Like, for really, like, direct this at gay men and ladies. Or anyone that gets their shit ate, actually. Okay. Okay. Like, wipe my butt. Wipe my butt with this tiramisu and then go to town on my lady fingers. You know what I'm talking about? And then shove your lady fingers. I mean, listen. Frank.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Be really real. Don't be a character right now. You wouldn't have been hyped? This is like flavored condoms, that thing, too. I guess. I've never tasted the flavor. Who's eating a condom, Joey? I mean, I think that's more... What do you mean? They made them. I'm saying, like... People are getting very safe BJs. That's good. Good. And I support that for them. I'm just saying.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
But, like, a blue raspberry... But, like, what if you could get, like, a sanitary wipe? Right. So, like, before you're about to get hot and heavy and you know your shit's about to get gobbled up on... Right. You're just like, hmm, do I go with the red frog or do I go with the glazed donut? Right. Which one would you go with? I mean, I'm not getting my shit ate. Which one would you rather eat?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I'm cinnamon donut. Cinnamon donut. Cinnamon donut on that cinnamon donut.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah, I hear you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that would be a good one. I tell you what I wouldn't pick, though. KFC. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
On our flight, they made an announcement that main cabin ran out of alcohol.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Listen, companies love doing this now. Doritos had vodka. Did you try that? They did on TikTok. It was bad, right?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Oh, no. Didn't need that. But, like, what other ones have there been? There have been other ones like that where people do that shit. You know, KFC fucking toothpaste. Yeah. I'm sure there's other examples, you know?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I've never had Arby's before. Neither have I, and I'm cool with not having it. We've got the meats. SNL made the joke before I could, so I can't take credit for it, but they're like, you don't want to go somewhere where they're telling you, like, we've got meat. And we're just like, yeah, we didn't think you did it. It's like, no, we got it. It's here.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Bro, because they were like, what? There was like four guys, like two aisles in front of me and to the right that were pounding drinks, dude. They ran out of alcohol. And they were just like, we're the ones that did it. Yeah, they were like, they said all they had left was red wine. That's insane. Yeah, I mean. But yeah, no, the perks are like. whatever. I mean, I do it because I like to lay down.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Roast beef is on your window, so I hope that you would. Ugh. Fast food roast beef is so bananas. Fast food... Fish is way worse. Yeah, like a Long John Silver's. Bro, you don't even need to go that far, but if you go to McDonald's and you get a Filet-O-Fish... That's so crazy. That's bananas to me.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I really think, though, like a Long John Silver's should just be like a really big bear trap.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And like you get in, and as soon as you step on the rug, the whole building just collapses, and everyone in it goes. I'm fine with that. Yeah. Yeah, just weed them out, you know? Weed them out from the rest of society. I have to go get...
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
salmon at a Long John Silver's yeah hey babe what are you doing tonight what do you have for dinner oh I just had my second filet of fish of the day what the hell is that What is with, bro, while we're at it, the McRib? Super unnecessary to have that. It ain't a thing, brother. It's not real food. I don't know what it is they're giving you, but it ain't real rib meat.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
We've crushed burgers, fries. Or it's like pigeon ribs. It's pigeon ribs or something, not like beef. It's a quail rib. Yeah, exactly. It's just like, what rib meat is this? And it's like, it's from an aardvark. I've actually had quail. It's quite delicious. I think I had it too. I think we had it together.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Do you remember we went out for my birthday years ago, and then we went to that steakhouse, and they had the bird, but it was tied up like it was getting fucked? Hell yeah, I remember that. Spatchcocked.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
That's what they call it. It was tied up by its legs and arms like this, and it had thick-ass thighs, and I'm like, this thing is...
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
It was your birthday. Give me the chicken, extra sexy.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I'm going to take a chicken home with me, if that's fine. Extra sexy. Can I get the chicken, extra horny?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Let me get one of these to go, and let me smack it before you put it in the bag. Yeah, we'll get two chickens extra horny. Thank you so much. Can you tie them up with my belt while you're at it? With my belt. Yeah, the arms were like overlapped like this. It wasn't spatchcocked. Because spatchcocked is when they're like open butt. No, this butt was intact. This butt was intact. It was.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
The legs were overlapping. It was prim and proper. You could have put little chicken Louboutins on them or something. Yeah, we should go back. Anyway, there you have it, folks. Thank you so much for tuning in. Yeah, we're done. No, we're not. Let's keep going. Okay. What other... I can only talk about flavored toothpaste for too long.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Look up if there's any, like, company-partnered, like, brand deals that they've done. Like, Doritos Vodka, KFC. Frank, that's the most vague thing.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
It's the end of the episode. I get one per episode. Give it. Give it. Look up if a company has ever collabed with another company before. Well, this is... He's looking at the keyboard, he's like, I don't know what to do.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
This is back when companies used to be so willing. If I need to hear this again. So, I'm serious, when they were very playful with their IP, and they were willing to partner with other people and stuff like that. KFC and Crocs. Pokemon.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
What the hell is that? McDonald's and BTS. Arby's and Old Spice? Ben and Jerry's and Nike? Arby's and Old Spice is crazy, so when you take a huge roast beef shit, you can make it smell better. The guy that's like half horse, half man comes out. We're like, fucking what's his name? What's the big jack dude? I don't know. Fucking Cruz?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Terry Cruz walks out after you eat your Arby's and he smacks you in the mouth. Old Spice. Yeah, you can come in and have a roast beef sandwich, but make sure you're wearing deodorant. Swedish fish Oreos. No. That sucks. No. Yeah. Food brand crossovers that left us uneasy. Thank you. Someone gets it. Hold on. Peeps and Pepsi? I'm on board. No. I'm on board for a Pepsi Peep. Or Peepy Pepsi.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Like, like obviously that makes sense. I would rather do that. And I have a lot of miles so I can like bring the price down and stuff. Um, but so I go up to the bathroom and there's a flight attendant right there and they're like kind of talking to another flight attendant and
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
A Peepy Pepsi. I like that. You like Peepy Pepsi? I love Peeps. Oh, there it is. This sucks. Mustard and Skittles. They did an ice cream too, didn't they? Mm-hmm. That, I can't even, like, yo, put mustard, my hate for mustard aside. How does that taste good? No, gross. How does it taste good? I'm convinced that's fake. No. It's real. Do you like Skittles? I don't mind them. I love Skittles.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
What they do to my throat is crazy. You don't. What? Can we stop now? Can we end the episode now? Skittles. What else we got? Gotcha. Kraft macaroni and cheese and ice cream. Van Leeuwen ice cream? Cheesy ice cream sounds nasty. Yeah. It might be good. No, it won't be. Black label bacon and cinnamon toast crunch?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Cinnamon toast crunch. If you sprinkled cinnamon toast crunch on anything, I'd be like, ooh, that sounds good.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You're not wrong. Coffee Mate and Dr. Pepper.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
That's disgusting. Coffee Mate by itself, I don't drink it, but everything I've heard people say, like, this is gross. I've never had it.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Compartes Chocolatier and Velveeta? What the fuck? What the hell? Chocolate? One is chocolate? I don't get it. One is chocolate and one is cheese? I don't get it, and I don't want to. Keep going. Gotcha. Pepsi Peeps. We saw that. Coca-Cola and Oreo. Absolutely not. Disgusting. Ruining a great thing. I kind of wouldn't hate that. I could try that. Are you a big Oreo guy? I like Oreos. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Come on, come on. There's only a couple more. I can see it. Oreo Sour Patch. I think I actually tried that one. I think I did too, and it doesn't taste like that, right? Am I making that up? It just tastes like a cookie with sugar. It's not like it's chocolatey.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah, no, I didn't think it was like sour.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Lays and IHOP, Rooty Tooty, Fresh and Fruity.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
What the hell? Where are they? Why is anyone still fucking with IHOP? Can we try them though? Like, cause we hate them. Uh, hell yeah. Oops. And Thomas's bagels. I'm in for that. I'm on that. Damn. I'm all in on that. Haven't had a fruit loop in years. Yep. Hidden Valley ranch teams with whiskey. All right. Shut this, shut this off. Shut this game off right now. Valley ranch and whiskey.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I gotcha. Thank you. Ranch is disgusting. That's bad. No, ranch is not disgusting. That ranch. Risky. Whiskey I like.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
The door says it's in use. You know, when you lock it and the thing says occupied. So I'm just waiting. And then the guy turns to me and he goes, oh, you don't know the trick? And I'm like, what?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Ranch I like. I'm not one of those freaks that dunks a whole burger into it. But, like, that's too, too, too much for me. Thank you guys for coming and hanging out. It's my show. Yeah, that's it. Where can they find you? Where can they find you? You can find me at Joe Sangato. Elephants in the sky. Birds. One, two, three, four, five.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
How are we even doing that? It's so good.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
You know where to find us. Go check out the basement yard everywhere. Patreon.com. Thank you. We love you folks.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
because I'm like what is he talking about like how to hold in my piss or something like I didn't know what he meant and he's like you can unlock it from the outside I knew that and I was like how the why the fuck would I do that the little yeah well that's the question because I've seen them unlock it they like that little like cover they pick it up the thing that says lavatory
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
It says, like, lavatory or whatever, right? You can lift that, and it's, like, a little thing, and you can unlock the door. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And I had no idea. Yeah, I knew that, yeah. But also— Because you've seen them do it? Because I've seen them do it, but also, why would you do that? Why did they lock it is my question, too. But also, why would they, like, be like, you don't know the trick? Like, this is a trick of the trade. Like, we're just going to make it look— Also, bro—
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Do you think I'm going to make the judgment call of like, there's no one in there. Let me unlock it. That is risky. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And I was on the verge of a big steamy piss. So someone would have got covered. Yeah, I don't know why it was difficult for me to comprehend what you were saying. But yeah, I just thought that was so weird.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
So I went to the bathroom, peed, did whatever, shut the door. And then I was like, hey, thanks, man. I appreciate it. And he's like, now you can do it whenever you want. And I was like, dude, why do you want me to open bathrooms that are locked?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
But he was like, now you can do whatever you want. And I'm like, no, I can't. Against the law, illegal. Is it? Opening a locked bathroom? It's gotta be. I don't know. I mean, we're, we're, I, I also, I don't need the panic now. Now that I know that's a thing. Every time I take a poop on an airplane, now I'm gonna be like, Oh my God.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
So we can get in here and like, yeah, I mean, that is kind of terrifying. Now you're scaring me. And you know how I feel on planes already scared most of the time. Yeah. So like now I will say those plane bathrooms were pretty big. Like I got in there and I was just like, there's space. Cause normally I have pretty broad shoulders.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Um, it's, you know, I get in there and I'm, I have to like, can't even go anywhere. It's like uncle Fester.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
yeah you know you gotta piss like you're freezing yeah jesus i don't know but yeah oh now i'm letting you know next flight we're on if you're not like guarded by like the royal guards of the planes i'm going to when you're in the bathroom open the door don't i'll close the scene i'll get you no fly Is that possible? Well, the fucking flight attendant was just like, do it.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Joey. Go. Forget about McDonald's. Name a color. I'll tell you the feeling. Green.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
He fucking schoolboy bullied you into opening this fucking bathroom on people. You don't know the trick? You know what? I won't do it. I'll pay a med to do it. What's that going to do? I mean, you never know.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
My least favorite part of the plane bathroom is it's been different things, but now, like, obviously the faucet is annoying, how it, like, stops. But now it's, like, I'm trying to just throw the trash out. Like, I'm trying to throw these towels out. Oh, they're, like, ugh. And it's like, it's closing on my finger. Yep. And now you have to double wash.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And you're making me like touch it and then touch the, and the opening is so small. Agreed. My hands are dirty again.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
See, my issue is, and I think we spoke about this, but like this sinks are not deep enough. Yeah. So like, I can't get my hands in there to wash them because I can't shrink my hands. Yeah. I can't have little baby hands like yours. So, like, when I get in there, it's like, as I'm washing my hands, it's like scraping the bottom of the sink. And it's like, it's ruined. You know how I get out?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I shoulder the thing. I throw my shoulder into the lock. Oh, I didn't even think of that. I just, I do the forearm. Or, yeah, like I won't. Yeah, I'll do that too. Just to get out. Dude, I love during COVID when bathrooms had that foot pedal. Yeah. Bring that back. That is a good one.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Also, big fan of the places that have a new opening mechanism where it's like a bar so you can put your forearm in it. But then, like, the angle is weird. Yeah, you've never seen that? You've never seen that?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah, but see, that's not a feeling. You can't feel earthy.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I've seen it before. On a door, it's like you put your arm in it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a handle. You know how, like, the handle comes out and comes out like that? But then there's, like, a bar that goes up. So it's like, you know, you can kind of open it like that, put your foot in, skedaddle on out of there. But you are correct. The foot pedal is... I love the foot pedal. Way better.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah. I am not a fan of, like... When you go to bathrooms and it's all just one bathroom, but just little stalls for like individual people. Are you crazy? No, because it's not like, like anyone could be next to you. Yeah, dude. A normal bathroom. In Europe, they love that. I know.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Where it's one door and then you walk in and then it's like a sink and like soap or whatever.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And then there's two stalls, separate stalls that are like full doors. But in another bathroom, it would just be like the half stalls, which I don't love. If I got to take a dump in public, I'm already I want to lose my mind. Make put me in a room. Dublick, by the way. Dump in public is a doublet.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Green is like happy. It's like, yeah, yeah. That's happy for me.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And also, if I go into a public bathroom, whether it be restaurant, bar, anywhere, there better be more than two stalls. There has to be more than two stalls. Because if someone's pissing right here, I better have the chance to put a piss barrier in between us. If it's just stall on stall and there's only two... I can't do it. Not that I'm like – it's just like make it three minimum. Minimum.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah. You know? But I like being in my own little room.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I think that in the U.S., I don't know why we do this thing where it's like you can see people's feet underneath. Bro, put the door to the ground. Put me in a box. There's no reason for this.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I can't really recall the last time I saw like in the U.S. like a full –
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I get that. Yeah, no, it's not bad. It's a good one. It's like an upper. Yeah, okay. You know? What about... Yellow. Oh, yellow is, like, kind of dirty. What? Yeah, to me, yellow is, like, yellow and brown and orange is, like, kind of, like, muddy and dirty. Brown is... You're making it sound horny, though. It's not. That's not what I said at all.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
like head to toe bathroom stall or they just do completely separate like the whole thing is in one little room like which I'm also I'm on board for that too but always a line for those
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah. Bathrooms are weird. You know how I feel about bathrooms. I'm all over the place. It's funny that you say that you brought up the interaction with the flight attendant on that flight because I like, so I was just like, my stomach was bothering me. I was eager to get home and I was sitting there and the woman's like, do you want anything to drink? And I was like, no.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
i was like what i didn't get it like kill yourself just didn't know like i just she just like i don't know if she was signaling to someone else but she was looking at me but she was like oh you don't like but but like you could hear me because you know how like like weird like plane sound like you just can't really hear that well yeah but i said i was just like i can hear her well i was just like no she's like no you're good i was like no and she goes
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
I was like, what is that? Did she go shoulder to shoulder or she cut her neck? Well, she didn't go like the undertaker, you know? She wasn't doing that. But she did like the, you know, like the, like this. You know who this is. At you? What did you say or do? I was just like, I crumbled, honestly. You like froze. I didn't know what to do. I was like, oh. That's so weird.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
It was just a weird, I don't know if she was upset that I didn't want to drink. Do you ever order a drink because you're worried if they're going to get like offended that you don't get one? On a plane? Yeah. No. Okay. Me neither, but I just didn't know.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
No, no, no, no. I'm just saying like they're like doing their job and it's just like, well, I paid for this, so I might as well get a water or something, you know?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Yeah. I mean, sometimes they'll do like, oh, do you want your meal?
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And I'm like, no, because like either I'll eat in the airport. So I'm just like, I'm not going to eat on this plane, bro. First of all, anytime there's a meal offered like for free included with my seat, I'm getting it because I paid for it. I'm sorry. That's my mentality. It's just like I paid for it. I'm going to get it. It's going to suck. Yeah. but I'm going to get it.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
The guy next to me on the way to Scotland, first of all, sits down next to me, immediately opens, like, an old-timey, like, you know how, like, women in the 70s would keep, like, their, like... Yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
It's like a metal case. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Opens that, just pills strewn about. And here's the thing. Damn. People take pills. That's on them. But these were not all the same pills. They were all different pills that, like, I can't look at a pill and tell you what it is. I know there are people that can. But, like, it was, like, four different types of pills.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
And he just went like this. It was just a potpourri of pills. Yeah, dude. And he just took them and... How many? Whatever you could fit in this. He just clawed it? He clawed it, took them, swallowed them. Passed out. And then put his hood up and went to sleep.
The Basement Yard
#499 - How Is No One Talking About This?
Then I don't know who this guy was, but I was thinking like this guy might be somebody because he's kind of doing this with a lot of confidence. Then he goes, she goes, you want your meal? He doesn't even say yes or no. He said, I'm going to sleep. Keep it warm for me when I wake up. What? What is this, your wife?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I would just say, hey, don't get on that horse, Mr. Reeve. All right. There's so much that I could do. The opportunities, the possibilities are truly endless. And we started talking about this because we were talking about a book from 1,400 years ago. Nope, that's not right. 1,200 years ago. Would you go back in your life, or would you go back a different time? Or in the future?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I mean, you wouldn't go back before Twisted Tees existed, so... Right, right.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I mean, that would be super cool. Like, imagine... Now what? You're going to come here and tell people and no one's going to believe you? It would be cool. Yeah, but we're going back to the same thing. You can make the same argument that you're six years old and you're like, oh, invest in Uber. And your mom's going to be like, what the fuck is that? It's a car. It shows up and it's on a phone.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Am I looking? We're talking, what was that word? Westworld here. We got Westworld technology. You can kind of do whatever you want. If you want to pay for the service where you're just like a silent watcher. How about this? You can go back, but you're like your body, but no one knows that it's you. You understand? Yeah, I get you. So you could theoretically see yourself in whatever you go back to.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Or you can go back and be like, Mom, Dad, I'm your son from the future. Yeah, I don't want to ruin everything. Let's talk. Guess what happens? I wouldn't do – I don't think you would get a lot out of that.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah, exactly. I had a- I had a- Yeah. You know. You haven't done the accent in a little bit, now that we've been back. Well, no one cares if I do it at home. Right. You know? I think I probably annoyed my family with it at this point. See, that's shocking. Because I didn't think that you ever could annoy anybody. You heard that shit, right? I heard a gasp over here. You heard the gasp? It gasped.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
But imagine you could go back and just know these questions that people have been wondering for so long, and you can go back and, like, actually figure – not figure out, but, like, witness something. Like, that would be cool. Yeah, I don't really care. All right. That's fine.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I don't know how we got from Scotland to here. Because we were talking about how old those places are. And that's the thing that is so cool about Europe, too. Like, and why, you know, I guess where we grew up is kind of like, eh. Because things get torn down and built up all the time. So everything's, like, relatively new.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Everything in the... Not everything, but, like, a lot of the stuff in those cities are from... Hundreds of years ago.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
And they're very pretty. Yes, they are. But also their infrastructure is also clearly based off of things from hundreds of years ago because the plumbing and electric out there was not great. It's not perf. It's definitely not perf. We lost power in three straight Airbnbs.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
bang bang boom three days in a row no power no power just because someone plugged in by the way like not like plugged in like dumb did a dumb American thing and like plugged like an American plug into something it was a legit yeah Scottish plug yeah and they fuck it went we lost power and then Mikey filmed it I imagine it'll be available in some capacity but like it was not fun to lose power yeah
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah, no. I mean, we didn't lose power for a long time. It wasn't that bad. We went through the blackout. You remember the blackout? Would you go back on a time machine and go experience the blackout again? Why? It was kind of fun. I mean, from what I remember, I was actually in Connecticut for most of it. I wish I was older for that. So you'd get into trouble? No, get into trouble.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I'm saying I wish I was like 19. That would have been dangerous. Why? That's like a thing. Ruby says that. No, no, no. I'm saying why would it be dangerous? Being a 19-year-old in a blacked-out New York City for a week? Dude, you would have... You, us, would have gotten into trouble. I think that would have been cool. We played, like, soccer or something, didn't we?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
But, yeah, during the day. But, like, bro, at night, remember, there were, like... I remember the small amount of time that I was here. There were, like, cops on every single corner because, like... It was probably – Astoria had no power for a week. Yeah. That was crazy. That shit was nuts. I was trying – I was taking, like, naps in the middle of the night. Naps.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
But, like, my dad would have the car on so that we could sleep with the AC because it was hot as hell. Yeah. Oh, wow. I didn't even think of that. Yeah, it was so hot. That is crazy. I remember when I was sleeping in the middle of the night. Then the lights came on, and I was like, yeah. I mean, remember everyone thought it was another terrorist attack. Yeah. When was that? 2005, I want to say.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Oh, so not that far away. Yeah, I would have been scared. This is such a weird thing that maybe it doesn't add to the story at all. But I remember...
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I'm still working on that one. That's the only one I. But it's tough. You scared me. Hmm? Joey scared me into practicing because as soon as I practiced the Scottish accent and I think I got it pretty good. It's good. You know, just like give me something to say. Hey, how are you? See, but like give it like something with like, Hey, how are you?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
hearing like a loud noise outside which I don't know if that's like real or if I'm making that up now because it's been so far so long since this thing and hey Arnold was on the TV and it was Helga Pataki and she was like confessing her love for Arnold or something and the TV shut off and I was like What the fuck? Like, who turned the TV off and then everything was off?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Who interrupted my Hey Arnold? Who interrupted Hey Arnold? Great show. That was a pretty good show. Great show. Sick bedroom that kid had. Let me tell you, not many bedrooms I wanted to have that weren't mine. That was one of them, 100%. You loved your bedroom that much? I liked my bedroom, yeah. Which one? Because you've had three bedrooms. One, two, three. I actually had four in that house.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
So which was your fave? I mean, my fave was when I was older, like in high school, and I had my own little space. The basement? Yeah. That was fun. Go down to the right, you mean? To the right, yeah. I used to have the one to the left before that. Right, by the back door. Good time. I used to sleep with a knife under my pillow. Yeah. Which people apparently think that's crazy. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
No one was breaking into your house. But we had a great time in Scotland. We went over to England. We had some proper points. Yeah, we did. Bangers and mash. I didn't have any bangers and mash. I had some sort of banger. What's a banger? A banger is a sausage in your mouth. There were just bangers in your mouth. People were banging your mouth. I see what you're doing here.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
We saw Buckingham Palace. Buckingham Palace, which was super okay. Yeah, it was all right. I was expecting more, to be honest. Big Ben blew me out of the water. Big Ben was huge. Big... You listen. People talk about how big this thing is, and they're right, but no one talks about the girth of it. No one talks about how wide and thick Big Ben is.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Dude, like... Big guy. And... shiny shiny how do they keep it so clean oh i don't know what is going on over there it probably has a lot to do with like the crown and stuff like that they're cleaning that they're cleaning and polishing all like the gold over there was like polished brother it was shiny as hell and also
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
It's a big fat Ben. Yeah. That was a big old one. Oh, my God, dude. The London Eye saw it from afar. Yeah. I get it. It's a circle. It's a circle. When you're looking at the London Eye, the best part about the London Eye is that if you turn around, you can see Big Ben.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
He's pretty big. That's the best part. He's pretty big, yeah. He's big. And there's also just like a lot of just old shit in that area. Spiky fences around Big Ben. You remember that? Big spiky fences. I'm like touching it. I'm like, dude, these are a killer person. Well, because they had to keep out intruders just in case someone wanted to scale Ben.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
But, like, you touch it, bro, you fall on that thing, it's done. You legitimately, if you took someone and threw them on it, they'd be impaled. Yeah. Dead. They gotta keep Ben safe. So maybe what they're doing is they're polishing the gold. Yeah. They're looking up at Big Ben. And they're like, whoa. And they're just, like, keeping the... What are you doing? They're keeping the fence pointy.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Like, it's not great, but like while it was there, it was better. I think, I think. Okay. It's the air. I think the air and the ground. Blame the air and the ground. You know, but like Scotland, how are you?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah, they're, like, filing it down and stuff like that. And they're just like, no one's gonna get to our friend Ben. Yeah. It's a very spiky fence and a very big van. They used to kill people by just throwing them on spikes, right? Yeah. That was crazy. Yeah. It's not. I wouldn't want that to happen. No way. I, like, touched the fence, and I was like, ooh, my finger.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Can you imagine being impaled, bro? If you're falling from Big Ben, you're not living, dude. No way. You land on that. Like, maybe if you land in the water, because there's the River Thames right there. Yeah, but you... Maybe. No way, dude. But, like, you land on one of those pointy fences. I gotta be really honest with you. Be honest. I love a pointy fence.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Like, an iron pointy fence. A dangerous fence. Our fucking elementary school and my high school had those. What? It had a pointy fence? Yeah, yours did, too, right? Very, very pointy. A lot of, like, old schools in Queens have pointy iron fences, dude. I remember our fences. But I don't remember them being pointy. Hell yeah, they were pointy, brother. Do me a favor.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
What? Just to prove a point. I know what it looks like. I'm just saying I just don't remember. Yeah, there were pointy fences up there. I do remember I pushed a kid named Demir, one of our friends, into a fence at a certain point, and they had little kind of spikes on them, and he chased me. Demir famously, by the way— Never got his paws on me. We said, like, hey, Demir, let's reconnect and talk.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Messaged him, left on red, brother. Absolutely. Big bang, boom. Yeah. I tell you what, you know who didn't get left on red? Seat Geek, okay? Seat Geek is where you're buying all your tickets, okay? You're going to a live event. You're going to go see a team, an artist, a band, a monster truck rally. You can get your tickets with Seat Geek, okay?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
We had a fucking proper time in Scotland. How many Guinnesses do you think that you had? We also had a baby Guinness shot for the first time. Those are delicious. Those are delicious. And the reason they call them baby Guinness is because they look like a little Guinness. Baby Guinness. I would say a couple dozen.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
They have a wonderful interface where it's color-coded, so dark green means a really good price for that ticket, and then dark red, you might want to stay away from that. That's an overpriced ticket right there. But I've been using SeatGeek for years now. It has over 28 million downloads. It's the number one rated ticketing app in the App Store.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
And there's over 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports festivals, things like that. SeatGeek, though, been using them for years, like I said, and you can save some money. So we're going to save you some money. You want to buy tickets to something? Let's go. My sister just used my code the other day. She went to a comedy show.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah, so go download the SeatGeek app and use the code BASEMENT2025 for 10% off of your next set of tickets at SeatGeek, okay? That's any tickets on there, 10% off with that code BASEMENT2025. Okay, so go enjoy that, folks. And we also have FitBud.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
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The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
If that's the case, they can still create a workout routine personalized for your goals. So if you want to put on some mass, you want to get stronger, or if you want to lose weight or thin out, fat loss, whatever it is, they can create a workout routine personalized for your needs, which is important. The workouts adapt to your growth.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
So each workout is challenging enough to push you to make progress. They tell you when to rest because rest is a very important part. A lot of people make the mistake of just working out every single day and putting themselves out. That is not the best way to put on muscle or lose weight or any of those things. So rest is also important and things like that. Also, it's a very educational exercise.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
service because there's over a thousand demonstration videos so if this is your first time getting into fitness you have a thousand demonstration videos at the tips of your fingers and you can learn a lot of things through that so level up your workout join fitbot today get 25 off your subscription or try the app for free for seven days at fitbot.me slash basement that is fitbot.me slash basement so get that 25 off your subscription or try the app for free fitbot.me slash basement
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Listen, while you're on a personal health journey or you're going to a game or you're on your way to work, why don't you let us join you? TheBasementYard.com slash TheBasementYard. What? TheBasementYard.com slash TheBasementYard backslash TheBasementYard. I don't know if that's a thing. It's definitely not a thing. TheBasementYard.com slash TheBasementYard? No. What would that even be?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Head on over to TheBasementYard slash TheBasementYard. I mean, patreon.com slash the basement yard. Let us join you and hang out. We tell you guys about Patreon all the time. So make sure you go check it out. You join that first here. You get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance. And that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
They're kind of all over the place, just like I am right now while doing this. So go check it out, patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. And if you can, make sure you actually go to the patreon.com website and sign up because Apple is on to something, and I don't know what it is. But go to patreon.com slash TheBasementYard on your web browser, sign up, and come along for the party.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
It's going to be fun. Come along for the party. Basementyard.com slash thebasementyard. That'll bring you right to the basement. All right, I have a question for you. Did you have a proper English breakfast? While we were out there? Yeah. No, but I did the last time I was there, and it was great. Beans on toast, dude, is good. I said that. I had an English breakfast and an Irish breakfast.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I think the only difference is the whole pudding situation. One's a black pudding? Well, I think they call it different things. I don't want to get into it, and the Irish people will fuck me up. But, like, there was also white pudding on the Irish breakfast. White pudding? Yeah, it's like... Rice pudding? No, it's white. So there's black pudding, which is, like, pig's blood and, like, stuff.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
And then white pudding, which is just, like, fat and, like, animal balls or some shit. And I gotta say... The balls were good? They were... Not the balls, but like the puddings that were presented. The presented puddings were delicious. Yeah? I really liked them. They figured it out, dude. Love beans, too. You know how I feel about beans. Dude, beans and toast is good. Why do people shit on it?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Well, I think they shit on it because it's just like... It's such a strange combination. You know, like, beans are, and I know we're speaking as filthy, dumb, you know, Americans. I mean, if you put beans on a hot dog, that's bread and beans. But the hot dog is the star of that. Yeah. Like, the hot dog is the guardian of the galaxy. You know what I'm saying?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Like, it's not a side player in the movie. Okay. Like, the beans on top are meant to accompany the hot dog. Where the beans on toast, it's just like beans on toast. Yeah, but that's like a side. It's not like that's your full breakfast is beans on toast. There's other stuff. That's a big part of the breakfast, dude. Those are both very filling. I think everyone gets to shine, though. I agree.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
They have it all spread out. It is also just like a random assortment. Who in their right mind would have been like, beans for breakfast? I don't know. Again, I don't hate it. I like it.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Fucking funny. Yeah. Frank, why does this upset you? I didn't like Guinness when we were 19. Let it go. It was over 10 years ago. But even a couple years ago, when we were recording episodes of the Basement Yard podcast, which you could find everywhere, you would openly say, I don't like Guinness. It's gross to me. And you know what? I'm not going to give you too much.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah. But just with everything else, it was just like, all right, this is a strange. And then there were bangers on there. There was puddings on there, eggs on there, you know, eggs. How do you, was this your first fish and chips that you had proper? Uh, no, but fish and chips is good. I don't know. What kind of fish is that? I don't even know. God, I think. Right.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
And have you ever had fish and chips? Yeah, I don't like it. I will say the chips out there are better. I think so. Well, because our potato – everything of our food over here is trying to kill us. I wish I had a dollar for every time you said that while we were there. It's true. Frankie would eat everything and be like, this is so good. You know why? Because there's poison in American food.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Let's be honest. I'm being – But, like, it just – everything was just better in the Guinness. The Guinness was great. And we learned how to pour it. Split the G a few times. We didn't split the G a few times. Joey split the G a few times. You split the G. Once, but you were on a roll for a sec. I don't know if that's good or bad. It's probably great. And then we got an insight.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
We went to the Guinness factory, which was amazing. If you guys are ever out in Dublin, go to the Guinness factory. It's like Willy Wonka and the Guinness factory, basically. Yeah, it is. It's very colorful. There's screens. There's things moving. We walked into one room, and I thought we were in Lumen. Yeah, it was Severance. It was white. Yeah, everything was white. White. Very white.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Very white. And then there were just, like, little things to smell. Remember that? There was, like, these pillars. And there was smoke pillowing out of them, and then you smell them, and it's like, that's yeast. And then, so... There was, like, this is yeast, this is that, and then there was this other shit, and he's like, this is, like... There was a word for it that I can't remember. Barley.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
No, no, no. Pops. No. It was the thing that... Oh, the guys would come home. It was like the sweetened something, and they'd come home, and they were like, sweet. Yeah, and like, oh, their wives love them because they smell like this. And then at the end of it, he was like, which one was your favorite scent? And I was like, the guys. I like the men. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
And then we went and then we had a Guinness and then, and then they, they do your picture on the, I forgot about that. They do your picture on the Guinness. I just got to say this. We did have a competition on who had the better Guinness for. Frank and. Mikey. Mikey. Mikey and I won. Yep. And I was fully ready to concede. I thought my poor looked like shit. The expert, though.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
But I also like before that, I was just like, say it's mine, please.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
i don't know if he actually listened or if he like legitimately you know i guess he's been there was a camera around so he probably felt like he had to yeah he might have been tampered with you you tampered with him um but yeah no the guinness factory was a really good time and then they have a bar on top of the factory oh yeah it's like a panoramic view awesome yeah it was really cool i had like a moment like looking out and just being like
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I'm in Dublin. Dublin. Yeah. I will say, just as a whole, pub culture out there is very different. Like, Americans, like, in America, when you drink, you drink to go. You know what I'm saying? Like, you drink to get drunk. Over there, it's, like, very casual. Like, for lunch, they'll have a pint or two and then go back to work and just be like, let's do the rest of our day.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I also just love how – maybe this is, like – I thought it was interesting that there were so many women also, like, outside the Irish pubs drinking beers. Because I feel like that's not something you really see. Yeah, because Americans were just like, you're a lady? Here, I have this skinny little mini binty teeny teeny beeny beeny for you. Yeah. Where it was like, man, you want something?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
What do you want out of this interaction? Nothing. I literally was just going to say I'm not going to give you too much shit because I understand our palate changes as we grow up and we experience more of the world. I do. That's what I'm saying. There's no need to bring it up. I brought it up, bitch. Now what? I said I liked it. And then you're like, oh, you didn't like it 10 years ago.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Drink this fucking beer. Yeah. But, like, and also there's a lot of guys, like, out in suits and stuff in the middle of the day or whatever, and they're just outside. I'm like, this is so awesome. It was, like, it is crazy just, like, how not of a party atmosphere it was. You know what I mean? Like, bro, we were there. When we landed in London, it was, like, Monday afternoon.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Pubs were filled. And, like, not afternoon, like, 4 p.m. Like, people might have gotten off work early. Yeah, it was, like, 2, 1. Yeah. And, like, I'm not even talking filled. Like, inside was filled. Inside was filled and then the street and across the street outside. Yeah. That we need to bring here. We do.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Because we had it during COVID, but then it's gone, where it's like you can go into a pub, get a pint, and then stand out on the sidewalk. And they make all the pubs with a shelf so you can put your beer right there. And not even just immediately outside. Remember that one we went to before the London show?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
People were across the street, down the block on the corner, and then they bring their glasses back. Americans, we would have... We would have taken that shit so quick. Have you ever taken a glass from a beer place? I'll tell you someone who has. My mother. Oh, I stole two of them. Bro. I was like, what the fuck are you doing?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I know an old white woman that also steals like glasses and wine glasses from bars. Like, it's just like, not like often, but like has done it. Who? Becca's mom. Becca's mom, dude. Her mentality – I think it's just like a thing. She's done it I think like twice, and she's just like, I paid for this. I'm taking it. And it's like that's the wildest, most American – You paid for the thing in the cup.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah, no. My mom was like, oh, these are really nice. And it had like the brewery's logo on it. Yeah. I was like, taking one. I was like, taking two is insane. Yeah, I think after the second time, Becca's mom was just like, I probably shouldn't do that again. We walked outside. I'm just hearing, cling, cling. I'm like, what the fuck is that? Did you steal glasses? She's like, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Old people love taking stuff and just saying it's theirs. My dad, when we would go to Cracker Barrel, would steal, without exaggeration, every time, at least 12 or 13 of the mini bottles of the Cracker Barrel syrup. Like pancake syrup? Yeah. What is he going to do with that? Put it on pancakes, brother. Really? Have you ever been to a Cracker Barrel? I'll be honest with you.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I've never been there. I don't know what it looks like, and I always get it confused with crate and barrel.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I used to think that you would go buy furniture, but there was also food there because of the way people talked about it. Well, that's Ikea, and it sounds great. You've been to a Cracker Barrel? Never. It's called the Cracker Barrel Old Country Mill. It's like Southern— style food where it's just like, you know, grits, fried chicken, you know, chicken fried steak. Pulled pork? I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I think it was just... A decade ago, you said you didn't like it. It's... Joey, you and I need to hold each other accountable. So as we grow up in life and we like things that we previously had not liked, we're going to bring it up. So... You've done this to me too. You like the same things that you've liked since 2009. And then there's some other stuff that I've also liked too. Which ones?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I haven't been in quite a while. I don't think my body can physically handle going back. Is it like fast food? Is it buffet? It's like IHOP. It's like a chain like IHOP. But like not as bad as IHOP. But like IHOP. You know what I mean? IHOP does pancakes well. No, they don't. They do. I won't say. I've never walked out of an IHOP and been like, that was yummy.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I've walked out and said like, what is happening in my body could only be attributed to like Robert Oppenheimer. There might be something going on with you. I think that pancakes are just pancakes. There definitely is something going on with me. You've had a pancake that tasted different than other pancakes? Of course I have. I feel like pancakes taste the same.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
No, I've had better pancakes, whether they're buttermilk or people do whole wheat pancakes. But that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying just a pancake, a regular pancake. I've had – there is definitely a hierarchy to pancakes. Really? I've never felt a difference in pancakes. They look – the way they look, yeah. You definitely – then you're not having enough pancakes.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I'm not having enough pancakes. So then you need to up your pancake game because a good pancake and a bad pancake, there is like a fucking –
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
kilometer difference between the two but i forgot what i was saying yeah i did that crate and crack and crack and barrel crack cracker cracker barrel like the front is like you could get like you know like little like little trinkets and stuff like that like you could buy like a flamingo pot for your front porch or you could buy like old-timey 1920s bubble gum like it's just weird and then it's a restaurant in the back they sell merch at this place yeah
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
And then like in the back, it's like Hard Rock Cafe. In the back. I've also never been. You just gasped. That was crazy. I've never been in a Rock Hard. It's like Rainforest Cafe. Rock Hard Cafe? Yeah. Hard Rock, brother. You've probably been to a Rock Hard Cafe.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
The rock hard. Maybe after you saw Big Ben, you went right to the rock hard. Honestly? Maybe. And you've been through a hard rock. I was with a rock hard, too. I got you. Well, we went to the rehab pool party in Vegas. Oh, you didn't went to rehab pool party in Vegas. Yeah, I wasn't ever been to rehab.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
But, yeah, no, I don't think so. But, like, so Cracker Barrel's known for their maple syrup. Okay. And we would go. So all the times we drove down to the south to see my family, when my dad would drive us, we would stop at every Cracker Barrel on the way. Which, guess how many Cracker Barrels there are on the way to Jacksonville, Florida? Hundreds, probably.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
at least 15 and without exaggeration breakfast lunch and dinner we would stop at Cracker Barrel because my dad was obsessed and he would get there and he thought he was running like a Lufthansa heist level fucking racket where he's going in and they're like he orders pancakes and he's like bring me five bottles of your syrup You don't need to, you know, we know, we already know about my father.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Five bottles of syrup. We already know about my father. They're like nips. They're nips. And then they would go and he would, they would bring them and he'd put them in his like jacket.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
They'd drop the bottles, and then my dad would put them in his pockets, and they'd come back, and they'd be like, how's everything doing? Everything okay? He's like, I never got my bottles of syrup. And they're like, oh, my God. I'm so sorry. And they'd go, and he'd do that another, like, time.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Watches. I like watches. I used to make fun of watches. It's true. I used to make fun of them, but see, I grow. I blossom into this beautiful butterfly that you see in front of you. So you're allowed, but I'm not. No, you are. I just said I'm not going to give you too much shit. But you gave shit. You handed me shit on a platter. So we took the red eye into Edinburgh. Am I saying that right?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Would he just drink them? No, he would put them on his pancakes. But you're in the place where they have the syrup. I don't know. Why would you need more? I don't know, dude. And you don't have pancakes in your car. But then he would leave with them.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
How much money does he think he's saving by robbing these places of syrup? My father. Come on. It's unbelievable. We would walk out, and he would be giddy. Got him again.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Like they fucking clearly knew. That's so crazy. It was also, they're probably just like, dude, you're not like, we will give them to you if you want. They're free. Just ask them. Just ask. And we will give you this free maple syrup that we're offering. Oh, man. I've never been there, so I don't know. Save yourself the time. I love syrup, though, dude. I know. I do, too.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
But if you had a bowl, like a regular bowl, right, of like a cereal bowl, but it was filled with syrup and you had a straw, how long has it taken you to finish? Oh. I'm dying before I finish that bowl, dude. Let's say... Let's say there's no health repercussions. Yeah. No health repercussions on... It's still very sweet. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I put like real maple syrup sweet and like, you know, fake, you know, like old county mill or whatever it's called. Old... Oh, pearl milling. Something like that. That is like... I can't have that. But like real maple syrup... I could probably get a cup or two down. That's so crazy. I mean, I'd hate myself immediately afterward. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
You ever see videos of people just like chugging like a bottle of... Well, that's what I... A bowl of maple syrup is what is in my morning routine now.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I shove my face into a bowl of maple syrup. Oh, I see what you're doing. I was like, what are you talking about? TheBasementYard.com slash TheBasementYard. Don't forget to go to TheBasementYard.com. Well, everyone is talking about this whole morning routine. Ashton... Hall? Hall. Thank God I wasn't going to say what I thought the real last name was. Kutcher? No, I was going Tate. Ashton Hall.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
It's been everywhere. We haven't gotten a chance to talk about it because we were in Europe the whole day. I doubt it. Yeah. released his morning routine. And... Well, he's been doing it. I've seen this guy. Josh always sends me his videos. Why? I mean, first of all, the guy is shredded... Yoked up! Shredded like a bag of mozzarella. I guess... Guys... Guys shredded huge like Big Ben.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Because it's not pronounced that way. It is spelled Edinburgh. Edinburgh. Yeah. I think the G-H is just like... Yeah. It's not like... Edinburgh. And then some of us... It was a little tough on some of us. You know, I can't sleep on planes. You... I barely slept. So we were pretty tired. Mm-hmm. Best way to stay awake was with a couple Guinness. A couple of Guinness. And seeing a castle, too.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Bringing that back. He wakes up, he tapes his mouth. Have you done that? No, I have not. Have you done anything with sleep before, like a mask? I mean, I've had to do – there was like a summer where my snoring was bad, so I had a mouthpiece. A summer? Yeah, honestly, and then it just stopped. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I had a mouthpiece, but like all these like get slim quick schemes of like sleeping with tape over your mouth or something like that. Bro. Bro. There's this thing on TikTok where people have like – it's the TikTok shop. So they make a video, and they talk about a product, and if people buy through their link, they make money.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
So people just make up the wildest stories, and there was one I saw where it was like – they picked a random celebrity and it may have been, it probably wasn't Tom Hardy, but like they'll do, they'll be like, Tom Hardy is saying that people are getting uglier and this is why. Wait, hold on.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
And then it's like, if you tape your mouth, then your jaw, like they'll show people like a before and after where they're like this. And then the next photo, they like, they use tape. Like this is just after two weeks and they're like a hundred pounds lighter. do we know for sure if Tom Hardy is calling people ugly? No, we don't.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
So how do you know that this marketing technique is not based off truth, Joey? Because the whole thing is a fallacy. That's why I'd be afraid to sleep. Tom Holland's out here and says, all you guys are fat pigs. Yeah. But like I spoke to Jimmy Kimmel last week and he said, everyone is disgusting as hell. Have you ever worn one of those nose straps?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
When I was younger, like the sticky ones, but not the magnetic ones. Those are amazing. They just like – didn't you say you wore one and you could like smell the earth or something? Bro, I literally – I've never had the most – I've never had the most – I've never had that much oxygen. Why is it so hard for me to say? You still fucked it up. My neck feels weird. You've never had that much oxygen.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Much oxygen. Much oxygen. Much oxygen. I've never had that much oxygen. There you go. There we go. In my nose. Like I had like, there's like a bendy thing in this thing and it sticks to your nose and it opens up your nostrils like this. Yeah, but like. I don't, like, you don't get that thing where, like, when your nostrils are too, like, unobstructed. And then it gets cold. It gets cold up there.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah. And it's freezing. And I want warmth back in my nose. I agree. But it's not like that. Because it only opens up, like, this part. It doesn't open up, like, your sinuses. Yeah. So it, like, you know. But I like it a lot to have that. Well, yeah. So he's taping his mouth. He's waking up. Waking up at like 321 a.m. Listen, I don't know Ashton at all.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I think he's a former NFL player, if that's not mistaken. I have no idea. I know that there's a lot of discipline that comes with being a professional athlete. If you don't need to wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning, don't wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning. And if you do, shut up about it. 4 a.m. wake-ups?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Just, like, the only people that tell you that they wake up early are the people that wake up early. You know what I... Like, that's not what I meant. How... That's not what I meant. The only people... At TheBasementYard.com slash TheBasementYard. Yeah, TheBasementYard. Oxygen. The only people that, like...
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I feel like you were going to repeat the same thing. The only people that talk about waking up early are the people that do it for no reason. You know what I mean? It's just like, I get up every day at 4 a.m. now. And it's just like, way to go. Way to fucking go. 4 a.m. is a little early. He also says he goes to sleep at like 8 p.m. Crazy. Yeah, it's just kind of wild.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Mark Wahlberg's another one. He's like, I'm up at 3.10 getting it. And he's just like doing pull-ups. Bro, he wakes up that early to just pray. He does have some prayer. He stays prayed up, as he says. Stay prayed up.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Loved the castle. There was a big bitch there. Dude, I can't even... We went to the Edinburgh Castle, and there was a chapel on the grounds, and there was a sign outside. This was built in 1130. Yeah, that's old. How is that even a real year? You know what I mean? Oh, and then when we were in Dublin, we saw the book. They're like, this book is from 800. I'm like, that doesn't even sound real.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Dude, it's 4 a.m. No one's watching. I mean, it's better than what he used to do back in his old days. There was some stuff there. It was some stuff. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I don't know. But anyway, this guy wakes up. He does the face cold plunge thing. I've never done it. Okay, and it's with Saratoga water. Yeah. Have you ever had Saratoga water? No, I've never heard of it until these videos.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Oh, I've had it. It's good water. It's expensive water. If I'm this dude, I need millions. I mean, I can imagine off of this video alone this guy got. If some company has to be coming in being like, yo, use our water. We'll pay you this much. And it would be worth it for them. I mean, I think I saw something that was just like Saratoga Water. Their sales skyrocketed after this. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Hey, I mean, all the people parodying. Parodying. Parodying. All the people parodying. All the people doing a parody of this bought Saratoga. All the people doing a parody of these videos bought a lot of Saratoga water, and it's, oh, my God. Yeah, it's tough. But, yeah, so he wakes up, and he goes to the pool, and then he just does sprint workouts, and he's just sprinting.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
But he also has, like, a bodyguard that he has with him. Goddamn. Bro, if I— This guy is yoked with a capital WOAH. Whoa, dude. We just found out Frankie's type. No, I mean, dude, look at this guy. I mean, clearly whatever he is doing is working. There is a level of discipline that comes with that morning routine. Like he's also probably eating only like.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
kale you know what i mean like he uh i just don't get the whole like oh and the banana thing at 8 43 in the morning rub his face with it he rubs his face with the banana peel which i don't know why the science behind that oh no is it is this being marketed as like an alpha male thing have the alpha males taken this again no i don't think so
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I think it's just this dude doing his morning routine, and it's just like that. It's like ASMR, too. Is there science behind the rubbing of the banana peel? None that I'm aware of. I didn't look into it. I don't know. Because, honestly, the cold water in the face thing, that's just an ice plunge. That's just an ice bath, but just for your face to tighten up your skin. Right.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
See, I didn't even know that. Oh, yeah, well, that's what the cold water does. Hot water... Uh-oh, here we go. So, apparently, rubbing banana peels on face, it creates glowing skin, reduces wrinkles, acts as a moisturizer, hydrates the skin, helps in collagen production, treats acne, treats sun damage, and reduces under-eye dark circles. Also, by the way, what website is this from?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I'm good on rubbing a banana on my face. I mean, if it were to, like... Help? It is said to tighten sagging skin, brighten complexion, and reduce wrinkles.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I don't think it's impossible. I don't think that rubbing a banana on your face does nothing. I just wouldn't want to smell like a banana all day. I mean, I imagine because doesn't he do this and then he goes and works out and then showers and stuff and has a day? Oh, yeah, maybe. So it's not like he's just like, before I leave, rubbing a banana peel on his face. Yeah. Here's my thing.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Clearly, it's working for this guy. Good for him. Would you ever get Botox? No. No. Because society has not placed a standard on me as a man to get Botox. Because aging as a man is different from aging as a woman. What does the aging as a woman thing have to do with what you just said? Well, because there's more pressures on women. I feel I am blessed.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
It doesn't make sense because, like, before, like... 800. I'll be really honest with you. It's hard for me to conceptualize things before the year 1900. Like, before 1900, it's like... This is an ancient relic. I mean, yeah. But, like, it's hard for me to realize that and conceptualize that. Now you're going another 1100 years prior. The year 800? That's a joke.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
My male privilege has provided me with the opportunity to not feel a societal pressure in order to get Botox. No, I'm saying would you get it? No, I don't want to. Now I'm asking how those things are related. I was making a point. I was on my soapbox, babe. Yeah, I know you were up there. No, but seriously, I don't want to, but also there is because there is less pressure on me as a man to age.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
So that is a real thing. I don't even, but I'm legitimately confused by what you're saying. What is confusing about what I'm saying? You're saying no, but your reasoning is like... No, because I don't want to. Right. Because I don't feel the pressure to have to look younger. Oh, oh, that's what you're saying. I was like, I don't know what you're saying. How are you not... Two and two.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Two and two, brother. Two, two, two, four. Frank, I asked you if you wanted Botox, and you started talking about women. Yeah, because of the societal standard and shit like that. I'm not even talking about that. I'm asking you.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
And I don't want to. That I'm understanding. But when you started being like, well, there's pressure on women. And I'm like, you're a man. You saw how high I got up there? That was actually impressive, honestly. You sound like Elmo. I'm just, here's the thing. What if we get to 50,000 patrons? Will you get lip injections? No way. What about a BBL? A BBL? Will you get a BBL? Absolutely not.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Also, I heard that's a dangerous procedure. People have died. Really? Yeah. All right. What about this? You know, people get Botox in their pits so they don't sweat. Would you do that? No, because I don't really sweat much.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I think if I had a big issue, I would do it. Yeah, I mean, I know people, well, you don't sweat much? No, no, my pits. My pits don't sweat. Oh, yeah, your head sweats like crazy. Can you get Botox on your head to stop... See? I don't know. I would be afraid to, like, not have a moving head. You know? I knew a boy that got Botox and, like, he literally was just like, hey... Just like that.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Hey, if you found out, like if there was like legit signs to come out, there's like, yo, by the way, this banana peel thing is legit. You're going to start. Yeah. Why not? I eat bananas pretty regularly. So you just eat the banana and then just, just kind of bing, bing, bing. But I do like moisturizing. I don't like the feel that bananas leave on your hand. It's like this.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
You know what I'm talking about? It's like, it's, it's a little, it's a little like slippery, but like grainy too. It stops. I don't know that I've had... I don't know what you mean by that. You know what I'm talking about, where, like, your hand, like, kind of, like, starts to glide, but, like, it's like... You know what I'm saying? I do. Thank you, Ant. I got you. Unbelievable.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
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The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
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The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
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The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
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The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
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The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
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The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
And who's keeping track of years at that point? There were people. Like scribes or something. Yeah, but I don't think they were just like, oh, welcome to year 801. I think they probably can like carbon date some of the things. No, they had calendars. The Mayan calendar was like old as hell. And the Mayan, amongst the Mayan people. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
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The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
They have all the stuff there and you just cook it and you can keep the little card, make a little cookbook out of it and be like, Oh, I want to make that again.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
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The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
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The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Boom. So what I was going to say before, the thing that pisses me off about this, because it's clearly working for him, good for him, is now, like, all the companies that are, like, posting images and videos of their morning routine. Like McDonald's, it was like a bowl of McDonald's Sprite. And, like, they're...
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Just like, it's just like it's... What would happen if you stuck your face into a bowl of McDonald's Sprite? I'm coming out looking like a fucking skeleton, like Creepshow. I feel like my hair on my face would turn orange. Do you think you could really tell the difference between McDonald's drinks and non-McDonald's drinks? Absolutely not. Oh, okay. I thought you were going to say yes. You?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
No, no, no, but like a regular Coca-Cola and a Fountain McDonald's Coca-Cola. Fountain's different. Don't they also, they put like water in it. Well, yeah, because you'll see like the Fountain, they'll do like half of it will be like the syrup and the other half will be just seltzer. Is that what that is? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
If you look really closely, that's why on... I've seen a video of someone, like, separating them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, basically. That's why, like, also on a lot of soda machines, they have a button that's just seltzer water. You know, which... Crazy. I gotta tell you, one of the greatest inventions of the 21st modern century has been that big machine that has, like, hundreds of sodas in it.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Oh, the digital one? Where you're just like, I want Coke, and there's 80 different types of Coke, and it's just... But, like, who's... Who's having, like, peach Coca-Cola? You know what I'm saying? Is that a flavor? It's got to be up there. They have a bunch of those. Were you a vanilla Coke guy?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Oh, I think I've had vanilla Coke. What are the other Cokes that's been out? There was, like, Coke Twist. Black Cherry Coke. Or Pepsi Twist. Black Cherry Coke is the best. Black Cherry Coke is good. It's basically just Dr. Pepper. There was, like, lime or lemon. Um... Let's see. Oh, we're at the official Coca-Cola website. Cherry Coke. Yeah. I don't think I've ever had that. Coke Vanilla.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I don't think they were like, in Scotland, they were like, what are the Mayans saying? So you're saying no one was keeping track of the days? Of course they had people. I'm sure they were, but they probably were all scattershot. They were probably like... over here was one day, over there was another, so they've had to kind of try to loop it all together.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Disgusting. Get it out. I'll kill someone. Zero sugar. Come on. That's it?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah, look up the big magic machine. but like I was just a classic Coca-Cola guy when they started throwing like lemon and like fucking you know stuff in there you know what I hate with the Tostitos chips that have like a lime zest gross you know what's the grossest chip I've ever had they used to make they were like guacamole flavored ones Tostitos? Yeah. They made a guacamole chip?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I am gasped. Gasped? I don't know if that's... I am aghast. You are aghast? Aghastly. Don't make this about Pokemon. I'm sorry. It's always about Pokemon with me. We just got back from Europe two days ago, I think. Yeah. Why are you saying that? Really, like a day and a half ago. Yeah, I don't know. By the way, what time did you walk into your place? I don't know. What time did we land?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
They were disgusting. Look at all those sodas, dude. Pib. Pib is just... So we have, okay, so cream soda Coca-Cola. Joey would probably fucking cum in his pants for that. Oh, there is a peach.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
What is tropical Coke? What is tropical Coke? All right. They're not even trying to hide it. They're trying to kill us. Orange Coca-Cola? Is it orange soda? Yeah, what are we doing here? Why not just go with the classic Fanta? Or what was the other one? Crush. Crush. Dude, Slice. Remember Slice? Slice! Slice was a good one. I liked Slice better. Yeah, I don't know. So, all right, go back.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
All right, so, Joey, you're going to the movies, because this is where I've seen this most recently. I haven't seen this at, like, a restaurant or anything. You're going to the movies. First of all... I'm not getting soda. Give me... Can you just for fucking two seconds play around? What I'm telling you is that... Play around, Joey. What I'm telling you is that I'm getting a slushie. Disgusting.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
What? Because those are the airy slushies. Those aren't the good ones. You want the slush puppy. You gotta let it melt a little bit before you go crazy. You don't want the slushie icy ones. No, I don't mind that. You've got to let it – I don't know. Whatever. All right. So you can't get that because the machine is broken, and I would shoot you in the back of the head.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Which one of these am I getting? So you order – first of all, you go to the front. You get pretzel nuggets. Duh. And you get a popcorn. And knowing you, you'll get like – Snow caps or something. Snow caps? What am I, already dead? My grandma loved those. All right. You'll get cookie dough bites. Cookie dough bites.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Or Mike and Ike's. Or Mike and Ike's or peanut M&M's. Peanut M&M's. Yeah. All right. Honestly. So now you have your salty, you have your sweet. What are you getting for soda? You're going to this machine. You got to press one of these machines. Let me see. Scroll down a little bit. What do we got here? I'm going Coca-Cola. What the fuck is Mellow Yellow? They call me Mellow Yellow.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
It's basically Mountain Dew. Yo, Minute Maid Lemonade, the ice pops are good. Yo, Minute Maid Lemonade is more sugar than I think sugar is sugar. Does that make sense? I've never tasted something so sweet. I think, all right, I'm going to guess. You already know what I'm going to guess. I'm going to guess here. This is easy, Frank. I'm going to guess here. It's easy.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I'm going to give three answers. There's only one and you know it. Scroll down then, please. I'm going to say it's going to be, you said you're not getting soda? No, I mean, if you're making me get soda, I'll get soda. I'm making you get soda. Scroll up. I think Joey is going with a Barks. Yeah, I am. I knew it! I'm getting that root beer. He's getting that Barks root beer. Scroll up, I said. Now.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I don't even know what you're trying to say. Are you saying, like, the years are completely off? I'm saying they might have been off, like, the way that they had kept time and, like, tracked it. But, like, now because of, like, oh, this happened. They say this happened in this year and this happened in this year, so it probably happened in this year. And they can use carbon dating.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Oh. You just want to look at the logo? Yeah, I'm getting a root beer. But they have, like, different flavor, like, vanilla root beer. I'm getting, like, classic root beer. If I'm not going with Coca-Cola, and I decide to be a little playful and fun and naughty, what one do you think am I going with?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Not naughty enough for me. I need something filthy. Oh, you'd get a high C. I might.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I might get a high C. I've watched you get a high C. A fruit punch, baby. That straight red 40 into my veins. Yeah. What the hell is pineapple high C? I don't know, but that sounds delicious. I love pineapple stuff. I will say this. I don't like pineapples. Yeah, vanilla high C is crazy.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Oh, I love pineapples. I don't like love them, but I love pineapple flavored things. See, that's so funny you say that because that's how I am with bananas. I love bananas. I don't like banana-flavored things at all. Same with orange. Actually, orange is the exception. I love oranges, and I often like orange-flavored things. Or green apples. Oh, man. You get me going.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I love a good green apple, a nice little tart, you know, and crisp and refreshing. But the moment you have green apple flavored something, I'm going to take my head and I'm going to put it into a lawnmower and I'm going to have it going full speed. You hate green apple. I know that you absolutely hate that.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I just don't like it. But, yeah, I think you're right. I think I'm going high C, high C fruit punch. I've gotten a high C at like a Subway before. Eat fresh. I do like Sprite a lot. I haven't had a Sprite. Strawberry Sprite probably fucking kills me. Yeah. What is lemonade Sprite? Strawberry shit is so good. Yeah, but it's not, again, this is America. None of this is actual strawberry flavoring.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
It's just chemicals. It's like made of like, yeah, dude, duh. But like you go to other, bro, did you ever see when we were in London, we stopped at like a convenience store. Have you ever seen what like real bottled lemonade looks like and what American bottled lemonade looks like?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
no dude look up England like London bottled lemonade or any other country for ours is like yellow or like opaque and theirs is like clear because that's that's what it is like it is it is ours is just sugar water lemonade and like they're selling lemon water is that what you mean no no no no like real lemonade is not See, that looks opaque to me, Chief. No, no, no.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I think that you're just trying to, like, make yourself understand it. So you're like, there's no way they got it right. Yeah. Which is not fair. Before 1900, everyone was stupid, in my opinion. Like, there were no smart people. How many are there now? Good amount. You know, us. Well, well, what? That was a hot start. Us. I think there are smart people.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
That's not the one I was talking about. I guess we're not going to be able to. It's going to be too niche to find, so it's not even worth looking up. Gotcha. But, yeah, dude. Everything here is just fucking dumpster fuel. Second time. Got them. Second time what? The Americans are poisoning us. Oh, yeah. Which is happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're getting poisoned for sure. Yeah, it's all right.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
It's fine. We'll have a fun time while we're doing it. Yeah. We'll eat our... Just rub a banana on your face and you'll be good. We were told that people, when they go to America, it's like they want to try the American fast food. Which is interesting. I feel like that would be the last thing that I would want to try. Bro, when we were at...
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
the hotel in dublin we asked the concierge like oh like what what should we try and he was like oh spice bag uh blah blah blah and he's like also you need to try irish burger king we were like what he's like yeah it's like incredible like huh burger king i don't know didn't make any sense dude dublin also like i i've when i was there
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
And then getting home, like, I've, like, been seeing shit on TikTok. It's, like, a very underrated city for food. Yeah. Like, they have mad good food. All the food we had there was great. I tried my best to just get as much, like, traditional Irish food as I could.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
You know, stews and pies and... Big fat pie. Oh, my God. That shepherd's pie I had was crazy. What's up?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
We went to like a really nice Korean barbecue place. That was good. Yeah, that was good. And then we had like two or three times like Lebanese because everything close. Lebanese food was great. When we were there, it was like stuff legitimately was not open to eat past like 930. Yeah. So the options were super limited.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
The shows are tough because it's like you have to order shit to the green room and you can't really find anywhere to eat afterwards. Yeah. You can do it in the States because things are open later, but... I will say that salad that we had before one of that London shows was... Nuts. I'm not even kidding. One of the best salads I've had in my entire life. It was unbelievable.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I don't even remember the name of where it was, but it was a big fatty. Yeah. Well... It was. And it had a lot of shit in it.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Fantastic. Goat cheese. Hell yeah. Ugh. Dublin. That's where we had the good cheeses. Yo, I couldn't believe, I could not believe how good these cheeses were. I ate maybe a pound and a half of cheese before I went on to stage. Like, not, bro, I couldn't, I had to remove myself because I was sitting right next to the cheese.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I had to remove myself because I was like, I'm going to eat this whole thing. It's like, I got to get out of here. I had to remove myself. The cheese was so good. I forget whose idea it was to put a charcuterie on the rider, but that was such a good idea. I think it was like you and I were just like, let's ask them for charcuteries. So good. Unbelievable stuff. Cheese, man.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Anyway, just want to say this is our first episode that we're recording after we got back from Europe. Honestly, super crazy to, uh, you know, kind of do that. I know for me, when I like walked through my door and then I was like going to sleep that night, I was like, what the hell did we just do? Like that is, it was so crazy to, uh, I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I think even now, if we're going to do a show or something, it's still scary to be like, oh, do people still care? Or are they going to show up? Or they bought tickets so long ago. Do they remember that the show is tonight? And then going there and getting such crazy support. And it was just like...
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
But like you've never thought of like if you were put in like the Wild West, you wouldn't like rule the town because of how smart you are. We just talked about this. Oh, like today if you put me in the Wild West? Yeah, if you time-traveled back to the Wild West. Or like the medieval times, dude. No way, Frank. Are you insane? You in the medieval times.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
in every city there were people who were recognizing us and being super nice to us um everyone at the guinness factory was like super nice to us too like it was just it was just a wild feeling and i and it's it's one thing for it to happen where you're from but then to have it happen in a completely different sort of area and then also driving through towns that are not
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
you know, giant cities or whatever, and then people recognizing you there, kind of, that was also weird, it's like, I don't know, it just, it kind of put everything into perspective of how out of control and big this thing has gotten, you know, I guess with the help of the internet, because everyone has access to that, but yeah, I just wanted to say, you know, it's, it was really cool, you know, getting all that support from people, and all the crowds were, you know, super nice, and
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah, everyone was just super fucking cool. It's hard to even imagine or not imagine. It's hard to put into words of, you know, what that felt like. It's a crazy feeling, honestly. And I just wanted to say thanks. It was really cool. But. I got nothing to add. Nothing to add. All right. And, yeah, just wanted to say thanks, and that is all. You guys can go follow Frank, the Frank Alvarez.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Everywhere. You know where to find us. You know where he is. You go check it out. And, guys, go follow the show at The Basement Yard. And like Frank was saying earlier, if you're going to sign up for the Patreon, do it through, like, a website, not on your phone, because there's, like, a 30% thing. Not through an app. You can go to the browser on your phone. Ah, okay. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
So, yeah, do that and then download the app after that. But, yeah, so that's all, and we'll see you guys next time. Bye.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Well, you're just the smartest guy in the world. What are you going to do? Dude, these people fight each other with swords. What are you going to do in that situation? I mean, you give me some time. I think I'd be... Also, they had poison back then. People were getting poisoned. Well, because they had food testers. Right. So they'd be like, you know, chew my food. They don't die. I'm good.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
You know? Also, I prepare my own food. How do you plan on taking over the town in a medieval village? Well, you have to be a good fighter. I would bring a lighter with me. You would bring a lighter? I'd bring a lighter with me. Oh, so you're walking into a time machine. So, yes, that's what I just said. Like, you're a time machine displaced. Okay. And I'd bring some stuff with me.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I'd bring a lighter. Yeah. I would bring... They'd probably kill you as a witch immediately if you showed that. No, because I'd be like, yo, you're crazy. I'm hexing all of you guys. Watch this. Fire from my hand. Yeah, but you can't hurt anyone with a lighter. Yes, I can. How? I'd burn them. If I have a sword and you have a lighter, I'm cutting your head off. I don't think. You don't think that?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I don't think so. You're like, oh, I have a lighter. I could just. Oh, a bow and arrow. You didn't even ask me what else I was bringing. I'm bringing a handgun with a good amount of ammo. With a good amount of ammo. But you don't have a handgun. I'll go get one. If I know, like, oh, tomorrow I'm going on this time machine, I'm bringing a handgun with me. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
You know, and I'll bring a backpack filled with ammo, a couple lighters. So you're just going back to Ray's hell. Yeah. Okay, good.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
they'd be like yo oh yeah bang now what i wouldn't even want to take over of the like if i had a time machine i don't think i would go back to like medieval times or oh i wouldn't either but if i had to if you would you rather go in the past or in the future past but where would you go um So here's the question. There's so many questions I have right now.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Well, there's one question that came from the question person, the question asker, and then you're supposed to give an answer. I have questions that will dictate my answer. Am I in my current form and is my at-the-time version of me there? Or is it just like I will take the version of whatever time I am in?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
So, like, am I going to – I mean, if you go back to third grade, you're not going to look like this. Okay, so that's my question. Oh, your brain will be in your body. So you would go back in your timeline? Yeah, I would do that 100%. 100 million percent.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
you wouldn't do that at all go back to like when i was like 16 yeah i mean 16 6 uh whatever you want you can 20 you know like last week you could go back you know like it doesn't matter but like right but you could also go like way back and like i don't know yeah but then i'm just like a normal person in like the 1930s what is cool about that so why why would you so where would you go
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I'd like to hang as myself, like, as like a six-year-old, you know? You want to put your 33-year-old brain into a six-year-old? Yeah. And then do what? Have a really fun time. All your friends are six, Frank. This is weird. No, I don't care about hanging out with other people. So what are you going to do? You're not even allowed out. I'm going to play with my toys.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Like 4.30 or something? No, we landed at like 3.20. Oh, then I probably got home. I got home in an hour and 10 minutes. That's not too bad. Yeah, we're back. The boys are back. We had a really successful... The boys are back in town.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
what do you mean you're gonna take your brain put it in a six-year-old so that you have a bedtime and then and then you're gonna play with your toys i would like to do that yes i have all my toys play with the toys but you won't even have the nostalgic effect like you're you're you're i would be like i remember this these are like yeah because i still have my current day brain oh you want to live deja vu just like live for like a couple days not not too long okay you know and then i would tell my parents like first of all dad come home right let's talk
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
There's this thing that's coming out called Google, called Apple. Oh, Apple had been out at that point. So was Google. When we were six? I think so, right? Say Google, Amazon, Apple. Bitcoin.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Well, that's in the future. I would tell them about that too. I would tell them that above anything. I would say all of those. Amazon, Google, Apple, Bitcoin. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
uber maybe because uber blew up i would say put money into those things as soon as you can don't fuck around do you think don't fuck around this is coming from the body of a six-year-old by the way yeah i think my dad would not take me seriously i don't think anybody would you think your mom would be like yes six-year-old i'm gonna and i'll be like i can tell you things about yourself that you don't know that i know yet
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
So I'll fuck with her. But you can make that up, yo. A six-year-old could say that to you. Like, your daughter could be like— No, but, like, it would be real. It would be—I'm not saying, like, in the future. But, like, at that time, be like, by the way, I know what's currently going on with you. I know you haven't told us, but, like, I'm showing you I'm wise beyond my years here.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
You've watched a lot of movies. I have. Too many. I love how that's—that your plan is to play with your toys when you're six years old. That's—
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah, you could do that now. No, it's weird if I do it now.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I mean, you'd still be you now in a body of a six-year-old.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
And then I would tell myself. Are you in school at six? Yeah, right? Yeah, you're in first grade. And then I would tell myself. Damn, maybe I missed DeFilippi's class. Yeah, it was last name out there now. I would also tell myself, or my parents, I would say, like, go buy as many Pokemon cards as you can. Go buy as many, like, inbox Pokemon games.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
You realize you probably did say this at six, and they didn't do it. I can't. They did not do it. They were like, okay. I would just like – I would really – like I'd come out a bajillionaire. Yeah. I would. How old – so this is 1998 you're saying you go back to? Yeah. I think we would do pretty well for ourselves.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I mean I would definitely tell my parents and stuff like in three years stay out of Manhattan.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah, that one I would probably – I mean your parents weren't in Manhattan. True. But I would say spread the word about the island.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I'll be honest with you. First of all, I'm not going back to 1998. If I had a time machine. Oh, let me guess. Let me guess. You're going back to 2013. So you could see 21-year-old Joe and just be like, hey, stop shaving your head. Let's talk about the future. Also, Young and Restless is not a good clothing brand investment right now. You should probably stop wearing it so much. Reckless.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Did I say Restless? Yeah. It's a soap opera. That's a soap opera? The Young and the Restless, yeah. Do you watch soap operas?
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
I was going to say that's bananas. I wouldn't go back in my life. I would go way behind that. To do what? See what it was like. I mean, you can read about what it was like. Why do you need to see it? Frank, you already lived this. You can just remember it. But I forgot it. Your fault. And I'm setting myself up for the future.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
So are you going to be like, hey, young Warren Buffett, let's talk about who I am to you and how I can, once I'm born in 1992, how we can work together. No. I think if I had the choice to be like, you can go back to any time in life and experience that for a certain amount of whatever, like I wouldn't pick shit I've already experienced. Why would I do that? Crazy.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Because you want to re-experience it, re-solidify the memory in your brain, the feeling, so you could pass that along to future generations, whether they be your children, your grandchildren, or whatever. Instilling.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
That sense of love and playfulness and childlike wonder, remembering what that is, reconnecting with your roots, and then give that to the next generation in order for them to maintain that is something that is wildly valuable. You don't think you can do that without a time machine? You can remember everything. You remember your childhood. I remember a lot, but there's a lot I don't.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Frank, you remember everything. I remember a lot. Yeah. But there's a lot that I don't remember. And that's okay. I just think that it is exceptionally more important. Back at a time, by the way, when companies were way more playful with their marketing and stuff, there is a way to go back. Maybe I go back and I buy some green ketchup. Maybe I go back... And, you know, talk to Robert Downey Jr.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
And I give him the push to accept the Iron Man role. Maybe I go back. And I lend a helping hand to a young Christopher Reeve before he rode on that horse. You know, just do as much good as I can. These are all before you were born, no? Christopher Reeve, I think that happened in like 95. Oh, so when you were three years old, you're going to help him off the horse.
The Basement Yard
#498 - The Morning Routine
Yeah. So what Joe is referencing is while we were in Europe, we had several shows in three different countries. First stop was in Glasgow. Glasgow, Scotland. Scotland, Scotland, Scotland. Yeah. You know. And then we went right over London. Fucking. Down it. Fuck off. Yeah. And then. We had three shows there. Had a great time there. And then we ended up in Dublin, Ireland. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Welcome back to the bas- Welcome back to the basement yard.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going, Frank? Why are you cracking your knuckles? I've learned how to crack my forearm. Go ahead. I just did it. Oh. Are you you crack a lot you cracky guy you cracky? Yeah, will you crack? Okay? Will you get you go? Do you do a whole crack in one one go?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
And they'll just be like, it'll be like a mop hit. And he's just like, Please don't shoot me.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Because that would be awesome. Criminal podcasters. I know two guys. With Joe Pesci.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Not good? Not good. All right, I'm sorry. But, no, it's like a mafia movie, but in Hawaii, and The Rock is like a Hawaiian organized crime boss. Leonardo DiCaprio. There's going to be explosions and guns in that one. I don't know about explosions. Bro, if The Rock is in the movie, things are exploding. That's just a fact. There's no not explosions. I'm just saying this.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I would say that if you continue to crack... Well, no, they debunked that.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Listen, Dwayne, Mr. DJ is what they call him. DJ. Well, I'm not in on it. I'm not like that yet. That's true. I'm not in. You are. You guys are on a first name basis. I think mine expired. I haven't seen it in years. You still got his number? I never had his number. You still got his email? Probably. Let's hit him up. All I'm going to say is we're giving you this first piece for free, Dwayne, okay?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Every movie you're in, you need to rock bottom someone. It's done. It's like Tarantino would feet. Yeah. It's like. And the N word, apparently. Well, I don't like that. Why would you say that? I don't like that one, though. I'm just saying.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Has it? Yeah, where they were just like, it's going to give you arthritis. And like, no, you're just popping little, like they're like little pockets of osteoporosis or something like that. Osteoporosis is your bones like whittling away. Yeah, no, no, no. But like there's something in, there's a fluid in your things that you're popping. Can you crack anything? Crack me up.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And he used to... He had a yard at his old house. And he would bring him outside. And he would have to keep him there. Just to show all the animals, like, the dog's coming. And they'd run into the fucking bushes. Dude. Because he used to go in the backyard and he would murder rabbits.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Hitchcock with being in little cameos in his movie, you know. Oh, M. Night Shyamalan also. M. Night Shyamalan with he also cameos in his movies. You know, what else? What other director trademarks are there? Sam Raimi, he likes eyes. Just make your own, like, this is my thing, that no matter what movie you're in, someone has to get rock-bottomed. It could be like The Fault in Our Stars 3.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
It was an interesting ride in. Now, me and Frank took different flights. We met in Denver, and then we took a plane from Denver to Palm Springs. I've never been to Palm Springs. It's in the middle of the desert.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
The stars are also at fault. Yeah. And then you rock-bottom a star. A planet.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
White as hell. Now that I'm thinking about it, the only two black people I saw the entire trip were on our set. No one in the airport. No one in the town.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
No, no, no, no. Have you ever seen A Walk to Remember? Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's Mandy Moore. And the other guy who's, who's walking and remembering with Mandy Moore. They're both walking. One of them is remembering. The only thing I remember is like, she had like a list of things she wanted to do. Cute. And she was like, I want to be in two places at one time.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
And then he like drove her somewhere. And then he like brought her here and he's like, stand here, stand there. It's like, this is the state lines. You're in two places at one time. And I was like, yo, that is so fire. Oh, really? Yeah, I was like, that is... I mean, what else would she have meant? I think that she just meant like... That's the only answer. See, that's the thing.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
It was like two hours from there. And then when we're descending, flight was like normal for the most part. Then we're like descending into Palm Springs. And the captain's like, we're going to have the flight attendants sit down because it's going to get a little choppy.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I don't like that because there's no other answer. I want to be in two places at the same time. Well, you can't, Mandy Moore. Well, I think it was also like... There's one very literal thing and you could have done it...
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
decades ago if you've wanted to i think that she meant she was like you know like on this list i don't know i don't remember the rest of the movie i think she goes down i don't know well the walk was so memorable that they you know i mean what makes it more memorable the only thing that you can do when someone dies is remember so i know i tend to stay away from like movies like that where it's just like you know like they fall in love and it's like
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Someone's sick. Someone's sick, and then it's just like, you know what's going to happen, you know? Yeah, what's going to happen is I'm going to cry on my couch. I don't like putting myself in those predicaments. I cried recently. Why was I crying? I saw something, and I was like, ah, damn it. Shit got me so bad. Oh, I was on a plane. Oh, you were watching a movie.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Not only that, but like weirdly doing stuff like this. Yep. It was like that. And I'm like, I keep seeing the sky and then the floor and then the sky and then the floor.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
You were watching... Yo, I was sitting next to this guy on the plane. Oh, you hide the cry from the guy? Of course I was hiding the cry from the guy. Well, he was also asleep. He was an old fucker. Yo, and he wouldn't shut the fuck up. We had a flight attendant and she looked like she was like 23, like pretty girl. And he just wouldn't stop leaving her alone. This guy would not leave her alone.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Dude, Frankie, I'm like, it starts going and like there was like bumps and stuff and it's for like five minutes. I'm like, all right, whatever. Like, you know, you kind of get through patches of turbulence like that, but it was turbulent. Is that the word? That's a great word. For like 20, 25 minutes, something like that. And it got just progressively worse until like the last minute.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I guess that doesn't line up. Crack yourself up. Anything. Try to crack your neck. Don't be scared. I'm terrified. Why? Because I could die? No, you can't. You physically can't crack your neck to kill yourself. Frank, if I wanted to crack my own neck, I absolutely could. No, I don't think it's like... Bro, I could crap my... You can? You probably have. I could crap my pants after I crack my neck.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Bro, old people, no one wants to talk to you. It's honestly true. And like, I love how they do it because they're just like... I'm gonna be so nice and like, she's gonna show me attention. Dude. And he was like, how many flights have you been on today? And she's like, oh, this is my fourth. Four? He's like, oh, you must be real tired. I'm like, you can't say that. It's just bad.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
half a minute i was and then we hit the ground but like we uh we start going through like a lot of turbulence and i'm like oh frank's probably freaking out and i look up i look over at frank he's sitting right next to me and i was because i was looking out the window and i was like i just want to know if it's gonna happen um but then i turn around i look at frank and he's just like this
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Nothing's gonna come of it. Leave these poor fucking women alone. Please, old people. Old men. Leave us. I'm not an old woman. Just leave them alone, dude. They don't want to talk to you. Yeah, dude. And then he was going off and he was like...
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Damn, RIP. What's his son's name? Yo, let's get his fucking son in here.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
breaking bad blasting in his ears, holding his phone, not watching and just doing this.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
he goes oh you know i travel all the time like i travel all the time whoa dude it gets way worse so then he says to her um he was like keeping up the conversation you could tell that she didn't want to be in it she was like giving short answers and stuff and she was going oh wow like stuff like that like oh wow that's crazy she uh so he kept going like oh i travel all the time he goes i sometimes i go to qatar just on a pin that's what he said wow i was like first of all that expression is wrong
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Do it. Do the accent. I'm not doing that impression. Do the accent.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
On a pin. On a pin. I go to Qatar on a pin. Drop of a dime is what I think he meant. He was like, yeah, the drop of a pin or some shit. That also doesn't make sense. Drop of a dime, whatever the fuck. You're dropping something, and then you're in Qatar. So he was saying that, and he's like, yeah, I'd do that. He's like, they don't even give me a big heads up. I just get on the plane or whatever.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
And this was a flight from D.C. to New York, so it was short. It was like 40 minutes. So he was like, this is nothing. This is obvious.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
no I think she said that she goes oh wow so like this flight is probably nothing he goes honestly going to London is like going to the grocery store and I was like how do I kick open the window to get out of this oh yeah I literally wanted to just be like bang see ya crawl through the little window and jump into the engine gotcha yeah that's pretty bad how do I get out of this conversation it was driving me crazy
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
That's what you do in your head? Sometimes. I've done that, like, when I first started flying, like, pretty consistently. Or not even, like... This was, like, eight years ago when I was, like, getting on planes. I would sit aisle and I would be like, I'm on a bus.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I love how, now, I, you know, as teenagers you do that because you have no sense of how to fucking talk to people because life is awkward. As an old dumb idiot, if I'm doing that, if I'm just like, you know how sick I am? I take flights and they don't feel long. You suck the ultimate way. If I was her, I would have turned around and been like,
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Ladies and gentlemen, there is a man on the plane who doesn't care about long flights. It's very easy for him. Let's give him a round of applause. Oh, I would have picked up that phone and I would have said, ladies and gentlemen, there's a man in row 28 seat B that has a gun. Go kill him. Get him the fuck off of this plane. Because that is so annoying.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
It was annoying for me, and I wasn't even involved. I really don't... I just don't want to talk to... Sometimes watching people flirt is real tough. It's brutal. Because it's like, bro, what are you hoping to get out of this conversation? She's 23.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
And it was like one thing if like, if there's like old people that are, that are super nice and actually having a conversation and asking questions and blah, blah, blah. Like you can tell this dude though was just giving like. Bro, if I heard him say going to London is basically like going to the grocery store, I would have cocked back and sent my foot through his chest so goddamn hard.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I wanted to cock back and send my head through the window. I really thought about it. You should have. What I started thinking about actually, because that was an actual thought that popped in my head, I was like, how hard would it be for me to kick this thing out, honestly? Do you think you could break it?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I thought about that, too, because when you're going through, or if it's raining and you get close to the ground and you're going through a cloud, the lights from the plane just make you look like you're going way faster than you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I knew. As that was happening, I'm looking at it. I was like, oh, God, that's even creeping me out.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Because there's like a plastic thing, and then the actual thing, I'm getting through the plastic. So if it can withstand the air pressure, you think your fucking chicken legs are going through it, Joey? This thing is made to fly 500 miles per hour at 30,000 feet. You think one guy that lifts one time a week is going to put his foot through it? Frank, we're up to three, four nowadays.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I look over at Frankie, and I didn't see him looking, but I saw him turn his head back, and I was like, I really hope he didn't see that.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
No, I think I saw something once and it was like, you can't, to yourself, exert the amount of force needed to snap your neck to kill you. Not with that attitude. Which, I'll be really honest with you, That's a sick way to go out. Cracking your own neck? If someone were like, that's cool, dude. Whenever I watch movies of someone getting their neck cracked or snapped. It snapped, right? Yes.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Squats one time a week. If that. No. Yeah, I don't. No. I'll tell you this. When I have sat window and I see that little pinhole at the bottom, I freak out because I'm like, I know it's meant to be there, but it doesn't seem like it's supposed to be there. Do you know it's a myth that if you just like open the exit window, no one's getting sucked out? It's not a thing. Are you sure? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Why not? Because of the pressure. They adjust the pressure. It's pressurized. No. There was also a video recently where the fucking exit door blew open, and people were sitting there in their seats, like, fighting the wind. Do me a favor. Yeah. Stop with these scary plane story talks, dude. Please stop. It was a very famous story. I know, I know, I know. I don't need to be reminded of it. Don't.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
There's dirt in my eyes. I'm eating it. I could feel it between my teeth. And then we get in our Uber and the guy, I think, didn't he say something like he didn't know where we were going? And I was like, dude. Something like that. Whatever. But he was awesome. Shout out to Dan. He's not watching.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Don't. Don't. Look up if it's an actual video. No, no, no. Please. All right. Go ahead. I'm going to close my eyes and just don't talk. No, not the video. Just give each other, like, nods.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
he uh so he we start driving and i just have my head down we have a 40 minute drive now we've been traveling all day yeah it's a 12 hour fucking travel day we have like a 50 minute drive to where our airbnb is and uh we're in the car and i just have my head down i'm just like looking and i just hear frank go oh whoa whoa whoa so i look up and i look out the window and
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Bro, think about people who are skydiving. Let me be very honest with you. I think about every possibility. Frank, think about army planes. Yeah, they're at 10,000 feet. They're at 10,000 feet when they skydive. What's the difference? You're going the same speed. There is a difference at going 35,000 feet up, Joey.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And I can't see anything because we are in a sandstorm.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
It's extremely unlikely, and planes are designed to prevent this from happening, though it has happened in rare cases. Rare cases. Joey, there's a difference pressure-wise at 10,000 feet and 30,000 feet, dude. I'm sure there is. But it doesn't happen. Unless in rare cases. What will actually happen is everyone's going to get really cold because it's cold up there. It's chilly up there.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Jakku you know yeah sandstorm yeah it was kind of wild and then the guy even said so we were asking about him because it was so windy we were like is it normally windy like this he's like yeah it gets windy sometimes and whatever then we're kind of talking about the weather um it gets real hot or whatever the fuck so I'm like okay this guy's like spent some time out here he's a professional driver like whatever
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I love when you click the interactive map and it tells you and it's like outside it's negative 54 degrees and I'm just like, ooh, it's chilly. You know, it's such a stupid thing to put on a plane because like, I don't care. Like, what am I going to do with that? You know? The temperature? Or like the tailwinds. Like, dude, I'm not flying this thing. What do I care about the tailwinds?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And we're driving and we're in the middle of the sandstorm. And I'm like, holy shit, dude, we can't see anything out the front of the windshield. And he just goes, guys, this isn't good. And I'm like, I don't want to hear that.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Well, they like to be as transparent as possible. I appreciate that. Bro, you want to be transparent?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
What about? Because they don't feel like it. How would you feel if you got on a plane and it was see-through? Like, it was like you could see the floor. We do have ads, and I'm going to get to that. I'm going to get to that because I have a strong feeling about that for sure. We're going to start off with Squarespace here. Squarespace is going to help you build your website.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I was like, yo, if we hit a rattlesnake in the road, we're going flying.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
If you make content or you've got an e-commerce business, whatever it is, you're selling stuff, you're going to want to have a great website, and Squarespace is going to help you do that. So just in an afternoon, you could spend time with our templates. You click on one, it populates, and then you just change out the pictures and the text and stuff. You have a great looking website.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
They already do all the formatting for you and everything. You could also customize it a little more if you want to. That's also an option. But on top of it making it very easy to have a professional looking website, you can also get access to all these tools that they have that will help you optimize your traffic and just, yeah, it makes the experience so much better.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
That was the first time I've had a charcuterie board at midnight.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Anything that we create, any landing page or any website, we use Squarespace for it. I don't... at this point I couldn't even name another platform that does it better than them, nor that even does it at this point. That's how bought in I am on Squarespace. So for anyone out there that is a business owner or, you know, selling something on the internet,
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
It was an awesome experience. We had so much fun on that shoot. Those people were so fucking cool.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
use Squarespace, get yourself a nice looking website is your first impression. It's very important. So you can go to squarespace.com slash basement and use the code basement and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain when you use that code basement. Okay. So again, that is squarespace.com slash basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Those are. I only know them from Caddyshack. That's right. And that was a fake one, but I imagine they're similar size.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Okay. Use that code basement. Enjoy that.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I'm like, that can't be real. No, it is. They're like severing something. They're just like turning their head real fast. I think they're like severing something that like, it's like if you sever that part of the spine or something, you were dead. Like period. I will tell you this, these people that go to those chiropractors, And they're just like inches from death. Dude, I could not.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah, they got them. But yo, so those are the ones, I'm assuming they call them gophers because they do burrowing too, because we saw those holes.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
uh we also have better help better help we know that all right they're a sponsor all the time but it is uh online therapy you can talk to a therapist in just under 48 hours so they'll connect you very quickly they also make it very seamless to jump from therapist to therapist to find the right fit for you because that is a very important part of the onboarding process you need someone that you feel like you vibe with and you can talk to that understands you and kind of gets it because
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
You're not going to open up to someone, and you're not going to get the most out of therapy if you feel like you're talking to someone that doesn't understand you or just kind of like, eh, we're on different pages here. So that's an important part, but they make it very easy to jump from therapist to therapist so that you can find the right fit.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah. We drove like. And the shoot was like not. It was like very like decently far into the backyard. So like we're in the den. Yeah. It was also that collection of rocks. I was like, dude, I don't like that. Yeah. That was a community. That was a nest.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
They have a bunch of therapists that specialize in certain things, so whether you're going through relationship trouble or... you know, depression or anxiety or anything like that, any childhood trauma or something. There are therapists that specialize in those specific things, so maybe that would be the right fit for you. And it's also more affordable than in-person therapy, so...
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
You can save some money on top of that when you visit betterhelp.com slash basemanyard. You will save 10% off of your first month, okay? That is betterhelp, spelled B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P, dot com slash basemanyard to save 10% off of your first month. You're welcome. And while you're at it, why don't you go to check out the Patreon, patreon.com slash TheBasementYard.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
We love telling you folks about it, and it's a great way to support us directly. So go over to patreon.com slash TheBasementYard, and we give you a little bit of incentive in order to join. You join that first tier, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And that second tier, you get exclusive episodes.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
that are just for your eyes only, and all the other paid patrons, every Friday morning at 7 a.m. So you can start and end your week with The Basement Yard. And guess what? If you join that second tier, you get access to all the previous episodes. There's hundreds, if not thousands of hours on there for you to check out. It's well worth it, if you ask me. But who am I? Who am I to tell you?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Coyote, I'm fucking beating the hell out of. But a wolf? A Mexican wolf? What the fuck is that? I don't know. There's so many jokes to be made that we're not going to do. I know, we're not going to touch them. We're just not going to.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I'm one of the people on it. Go check it out, patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. We are so appreciative of over 33,000 patrons that have continued to support us, and we are excited to keep that train moving, okay? The train kept going all night long, and we want to keep going. Choo-choo, choo-choo, as Ant was just doing behind the camera. So, patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Thank you, folks.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I was like, don't fucking say a word. But yeah. Gray wolf. Really quick, it looked like gay wolf. And I was like, whoa.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
We'll see you later. All right. I asked you a question.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Would you fly in a plane if it was see-through, whether it be the walls and the floor or just the floor? I would only do that if I was flying to, like, Toronto. Like a short flight. Yeah. Like not a long. I think after a while I'm going to psych myself out and go nuts and be very scared. Bro, I wouldn't be able to walk. I didn't even think about walking. Bro.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Cause you have to like, it's like that thing you ever been to like a fun house and it's like you go in the tunnel and the light, there's like a light tube that's moving, but you're not moving. But like for some reason your brain is convinced that you are. So like you feel like you're going like this and you like freak out and drop. That's what I would feel like it is. Yes and no.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Really? If a coyote latched onto my neck... As long as I'm not gushing blood, I'm going to still be like, I'm nice. I'm nice.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I think that all planes should have access to like a cockpit camera like i want to see i don't want to see what's going on in there what i like that i love watching videos of like in the cockpit planes landing that's so cool what if and we're giving big plane big ideas right now so these are all copywritten and they're watching and they're watching always trademark copyright that's how it works
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
All right, so we do have a sponsor for today, the first one being stamps.com. Okay, they bring all the amazing things of the stamps. Hello, how you doing? To the post office, right to your fingertips, okay? Stamps.com, they handle all your mailing and shipping needs wherever, whenever, because all you need is a computer, you sign on, boom, and you got it going. You can print your pistol.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You can buy and print official U.S. post. You can buy and print official US postage with stamps.com. All you need is a printer. Um, and you're saving time because you don't have to go to the post office and wait in line or any of that, but you're also saving some money. There's, there's some rates, um, on the website that you can, that you can't get anywhere else.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
What if planes had like a special room that like you can go sit in for like five minutes and it's like, you know how in like Star Wars, the Millennium Falcon has like a turret?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
And shoot birds? Well, no, you're not shooting anything. I know, I know. It's just like you're sitting on a swivel chair, and it's like a dome bubble, and you could just like see. Would you do that? You wouldn't do that. Oh, no, I wouldn't. No. Because I would, while I'm going down there, tighten the nuts and bolts. I wouldn't be able to do it. But would you? I think that would be cool for takeoff.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I could not because you're asking. You're putting yourself right there, right there on the cusp of death. You and death could kiss and you could taste the metal in its mouth. And you're just not, you're just, you're not dying. I see those videos and it's like, sometimes he puts this, he puts like a towel over your neck and head. And it just, bro pulls it. I'm like, you're going to pop my head off.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Like up to 88% off USPS and UPS, uh, shipping rates. Um, so yeah, so you're saving time, you're saving money. They got everything there. You can do it at the comfort of your home. You Sign up at stamps.com and use the code basement for a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale, no long-term commitments or contracts. That is stamps.com.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Or what if? I'm just having all these great ideas. Let me ask you a question. Well, let me have my thing first. I think I know the answer anyway. The answer is no. I know that. If you're asking what I'm going to do on a plane, I'm going to sit there and not move. That's not what I was going to ask. But what if they had like a little contraption? It's like a slide.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Use that code basement for a special offer and get that free digital scale. And again, no long-term commitments or contracts or anything like that. So you're good. Uh, we also have Harry's. Okay. Harry's they make razors. Uh, recently, um, I, I've like, I've had a razor that I've used, uh, for travel only. I just have it in my, um, torture bag. Um, and I was like, I need to get rid of this thing.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
And like you can like lay face down on the bottom of the plane. And like there's like eye holes and you can see. You're getting nuts now. I am. This isn't a playground. What else do you want? A sprinkler? This is ridiculous. A slide. A pool. In a plane. Does that exist? Maybe on Emirates. Yeah, we don't know. I mean, they have showers. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
These people are obsessed with cartoons. It's ridiculous.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
It's so old. And I was like, what, what kind of razor should I do? So I have a Harry's razor at home. Um, but I was just like, let me just Google like what I should do. Harry's. Did some research. They're the best on the market. I've used them before. I use them at home, and I'm like, everyone kind of feels the same way.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I was going to say, would you ever, and I know you wouldn't, but what would it take to For you to... The answer is money. I know that. But I'm saying, what would... The answer is money. What would... But is... Do you... Is there a price on... And, like, a realistic one. Okay. Where... You would get in the back of an F-16? Because that's a thing. And, like, you can... And they could go Mach speed?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You can do your own research, but you will find that Harry's is the one, okay? They have German engineered blades made in their own factory that stay sharp longer. Customizable delivery options for scheduled refills as low as $2, half of what you pay. for other big brands.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You can get a five-blade razor, weighted handle, foaming shave gel, and a travel cover for just three bucks at harrys.com slash basement, okay? So that is harrys.com slash basement for a $3 trial set. Normally, their trial set is $13, but right now you can get it for three, okay? Like I said, harrys.com slash basement.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Well, no. They probably wouldn't do that. But those go, like, straight up. I know. I'm going to say this. Yeah. Yeah. I will do it.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I'm so glad you didn't name your daughters after like fucking, I don't even know, Storm. Actually, that's a fire name.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I will do it if there is no camera on me. Because have you ever seen people going like, what happens to their face? They're hitting like six Gs and they become like, I don't even know how the face does that. No camera on me. How much would I get paid to do that? Yeah. Like if so, let me say a number because you're going to go nuts with it. No, no, no. I'm thinking realistic. Okay. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I'm thinking honestly realistic. What if someone was like, how long? How long? How long what? How long am I up there? Oh, I don't know. Like, just be very clear. 15 minutes or something? That's an eternity. Is it? I don't know how long those are. I'm sure people do them. Bro, 15 minutes. Do me a favor. Sit and do nothing for 15 minutes and tell me how long that feels. You're on a plane.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Oh, yeah, I'll do it for that. I was going way lower, I'll be honest. My realistic price was lower, but yeah, yeah, yeah, $60,000. I'm cool with that.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Yeah, well, like $45,000, $30,000. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Yo, it's, it's a little intense. And I know there are people that are, or go to the chiropractor that are going to be like, no, no, no. Listen, this is actually what it is. An adjustment or whatever. Cool, but also no, dude. Yo, I've been to a chiropractor before and he did this thing where he would align my spine every time I went there. I went for like my knee. I had like a torn meniscus.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
It's like, oh, that's Arthur. There's a dog? So stupid. I hate it. You know what I hate? I hate when people... give their cat names jobs. This is Dr. Buttersworth.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
And then he was like, I'd get in there and he put me on my face.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I don't know You crack your whole body like you crack your neck head all the shit. I do I do I do well the same time where I just like It takes time you start with your I start with my fingers then you go and I start with these so I go like this and Ugh. And then I start, like, I go my thumbs. Okay. I just did them, so. Please don't. I go my fingers. And then I go my thumbs. And then I. My wrists.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Or my stomach, I should say. Oh, yeah. Face down, ass up. My ass was down as well. Okay. Down for whatever he was about to do to it. No. But he would do this shit to my neck, and then he would be at the top of my here, my neck, where my neck meets my back. Where's your pussy and your crack in this situation? Yeah, there was cracking going on, but no pussy.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
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The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
But he would do this thing where he would go like this, and he would kind of shake it, and he's like, I'm aligning your spine. And I was like, I've never felt – I feel like an arrow, dude. I feel straight as an arrow. Yeah. But I go in there, and the first time he did it, I was like, dude, I'm a fucking – There's that, dude, there's that person on the internet.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
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The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
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The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
You know how that happens? Yeah, but then you'll never plug it in. I got one. I got one.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
No, I'm not. I'm using your logic. It's just like every time you do this, then any time you try to plug it in, it gets unplugged. It's true. It seems major. I have a good one. Every single phone charger that you have is that fucked up one that has to be in a perfect way so that you can like, you got to like fold it and put your phone on it. That's a good one. Yeah. Oh my God.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
They work a lot with like professional wrestlers, but they have like a hammer and chisel. Yeah! Have you seen?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
That would be horrible. That would really suck. Or every pair of earbuds that you have fall out of your ears. Oh my God. Yeah. Like you can't ever, like they always, there's always one that falls out for no reason. You can switch the size of the silicone. It doesn't matter. Dude. Do you know that I had a pair? I forgot what it was, but I went on a run one day. And it popped out of my ear.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Cause it was really windy. And like there, it was small. It was like this. It wasn't like a Apple one or whatever. And it hit the floor and started rolling in the street. And I took one step towards it and a car. I can't wear. I can't wear. The only headphones I could wear are the muffs or the ones that go like in and around your ears. The Apple ones don't fit for you? No.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Literally, I've never wore a pair of earbuds. The ones with the stick are good. They'll fit. They'll fit. And then, I don't know if it's just because my ears are so oily. Like, my ears are so oily, but one always pops out. Always. Always, always, always. Yeah. The ones that, like, the only, the Apple ones that are, like, they have, like, the stick. You know? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I just, I can't imagine that. What did they expect to happen? Like, what do you expect?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Did they open your, so like my only, I would ask them, I'd be like, yo, are you going to open it? Or like, you're doing this like microscopic bullshit.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
But are the ones that are just like, they just go in your ear and the whole thing is in your ear? None of those ever fit me. Ooh, I just got a really good one. What? Every food, no matter what it is, whether it be drink, food, anything, comes at room temperature. It's never cold. It's never hot. That feels mage.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
We found his thing. Really? It's actually hard, yeah. Really? Yeah, I don't know why. Are you afraid of needles? No, I'm not. It's just I'm picturing looking at my own knee being open.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
No, they can heat it up, but anytime they get it, it's room temperature. Whether it be ice cream, whether it be steak, whether it be coffee, whether it be a cold beer. So, like, they can still chill it themselves or heat it up. But no matter what, anytime they go to consume it, whether it be the whole plate or drink or cup or whatever, is room temperature.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Oh, that's a good one. I hate that. But then, but then I would just be like, I don't really want this drink. And that's why I would order it. You know what I mean?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I don't. Yeah. You're like, Oh, I've been cursed. Yes. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. All right. Um, Hmm. Every restaurant you go to, they have QR code menus.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Dude, it's like Michelangelo sculpting a statue. Yo, legit. No, but he's swinging hard. Yo, how is that going to help me? I don't know. You're trying to chisel my ass like Marvel. I'm sure. I'm sure that there is a legit reason and why they do it. I refuse to believe that it is real because, bro, it's a big... Yo, go look at it. It's like a big chisel, dude.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Give me a menu. I don't know. Make it look appealing. I like that because as soon as I sit down, I can get a menu. But the answer shouldn't be that it's now a QR code. They should just, when they sit you down, have the menus in their hand and give it to you immediately. Usually they do that, but there are some restaurants that they'll seat you and then someone will come over.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
you know it could be haunted you could have a haunted cadaver knee and that's the issue is that basically yeah but yeah and i was fucked damn dude my knee is starting to feel a little weird really i'm not even kidding you don't like needles why why do we keep saying needles i don't think needles was you're very squeamish though and i don't like scalpels scalpels yeah okay we're starting to get there you don't like stabbing well i'm a little less cool with that one
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
And I understand airports where you scan and it's your seat and whatever, but if I go to a restaurant... I enjoy that a lot.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
mind it i like that i like order and someone comes right to my fucking but if i go to a restaurant and they're just like here's our scan this qr code for our menu i'm i'm immediately upset immediately because i then i have to zoom in and i miss out what's over there and i have to zoom out and everything is too small i don't like it i'm furious by it
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yes. That freaks you out. That's what I'm picturing, and it's starting to affect my actual knee right now. Really? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
This may be a major one, and you guys can be the judge of that, but, like, any time you open something that's like a soda or a beer, that thing breaks. Oh. Oh, the top? So you have to, like, push it down or something?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Were you on, were you producing this show while we had this conversation where I said, like, I was trying not to sound like a serial killer, but watching someone like a doctor do surgery and like cutting open something. I think that's fascinating. Frank, we don't care.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Yeah? That is a good one. Yeah, I agree.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Look who you're talking to. That would be bad. You're talking to Vino Volo over here. Who's that? It's like those wine stores in the halls. All right, you guys think of more. I have some sponsors for today. You guys think of more, though. I love this. This is so much fun. Okay, we have, here we go. We have Kickoff, okay?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
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The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
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The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
If there's any... What, are we going to play the video on this thing? Why not? Can't.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
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The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I'm okay. It's something about the act of it actively happening.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I'm okay with that. Because they're dead. They're gone. It's a result, you know?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
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The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah, that'd be tough. I try. Well, no one's begging you to try. Do you say, I will try? No, I try to look sometimes if, like, it crosses my page, and I can't.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
And lastly here, we have prize picks. You know, the MLB season, Here we come, okay? But you guys can have a lot of fun with PrizePix. Springtime is here. Baseball season is officially underway. So don't miss your chance to add your favorite players from the Diamond and PrizePix lineup, whether it's strikeouts, RBIs, or first-inning runs.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
What can you not watch? Something like that. I have something that's similar to that that I refuse to watch.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
um i'll give you time to think mine is like people getting hurt in the gym can't watch it like you ever see i saw this video like by accident and like now i can't watch videos like unless it's very obvious that the dude doesn't get hurt and they're just doing like a workout thing they're like backwards or something no like so i don't have a problem with people like fainting after like dead lifting or something kind of funny but
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Take your pick more or less for your shot to win up to 1,000 times your cash today, okay? You can mix and match players' projections from different sports. Combine your favorite baseball players with players from basketball, hockey, esports, and much more. So you just have to go on there, and you're competing against these projections. You're saying more or less.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
someone was like leg pressing and their legs. So like, because of that, I can't watch if I'm looking at a video and it just looks very raw is not the right thing, but if it looks like that, I won't watch it. Yeah. Cause I'm like, yeah, I can't.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Is it going to be more than five runs in this game? That's probably low. But is it going to be more or less than seven runs in this game? Or that's all you kind of have to do. You can do it across sports. They have all these sports out there for it. So it's a lot of fun, easy to understand. And, yeah, it's for all sports, like I said.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
But, yeah, you can download the app today and use the code BASEMENT to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup, okay? Again, all you have to do is download the app, use that code BASEMENT. You'll get $50 instantly when you play your first $5 lineup. Just $5. They're going to put $50 in your account, and you can keep playing. So there you go, folks. Enjoy prize picks, okay?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
It's like skateboarders. It was like, yeah, fucking board went right through my neck.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Prize picks run your game. Boom. I'm trying to think of more. I think one that I thought of is that anytime the person has a popsicle and it melts like very quickly. Gets all over your hands. It gets everywhere. I was gonna say anything that you have that's like crunchy explodes. Oh, I was gonna say the opposite. Like you're expecting it to be crunchy, but it's just like stale and soft.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
That's what I'm saying. And also, I'm scared because I don't have a huge... But if you take a hammer and chisel to it, the chisel could go in. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Just so we're clear, he's not chiseling the asshole itself. It's like the tailbone, the coccyx. It looks like he's close to the hole, though. I mean, I agree. One wrong hit.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
You know, like, you know what I'm talking about? Like a chip, like a stale chip. Ooh, ooh, I got a good one. Every time you go to a bar and you try to order a drink from a bartender, it takes, like, 12 minutes.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Or someone on the Celtics. The worst one I have ever seen. It was the tight end for the Bears. Was it Zach Miller or Heath Miller? I can't remember. What I'm describing with the leg press, that happened to him in the end zone. And, like, right now, I, like, feel something.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Disgusting. Yeah, it's gross as hell. Every time you piss, you splash on your pants.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I mean, you naming your pets after X-Men is way cooler. To you. And you're also wearing that shirt. Which, by the way, speaking of cyclical, let's come back around like a circle. Frank, you got a shirt on that you got from your butcher. It is my butcher's shirt. Which is fine. It is cool. And it's a great place. And it's a cool place. Lenny's. But turn around. But turn around. Well, I don't think.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Yeah, that's annoying. You got to do the pant wipe thing. Or every time you go to dry your hands, it's a really weak powered like air blower. You know what I mean? Like one that's just like. Yeah, that shit is so annoying.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
That's a big one. That's a big one. That's every block. I was just going to say that anytime you're in the car, you hit at least one pothole that makes you go like, oh, fuck. You know that pothole? It doesn't mean it's going to fuck up your car. But you know when you hit that pothole and you're just like, when I stop driving, I'm going to check on that. And then you never do that.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I hit a pothole and immediately my tire was like, I'm done. I hit a pothole and my car started smoking. That happened to me. I hit a pothole and I popped my tire on the 4th of July. So getting someone to come and help tow my car and everything took forever. Oh, that's a good one. What if it's like on every major holiday, wherever you have to get, there's major traffic?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Yo, traffic, it would be enough for me to end it. Really? Yeah, I despise traffic. Yeah, I know you do. Because I hate being late to stuff. Oh my God, that's probably a great answer too. Like if I'm like always like a little late. Oh, I have a good one. I have a good one because this is kind of minor. But every time you're in line to do something... It's always cut off right before.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Not me throwing up, but other people throwing up, it makes me die.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
You're the last one. Like you'll get in, but like they'll let in like 20 people and then it's cut off at you and you have to wait again. That, bro, I hate that. When I'm in a red light and I'm like, all right, this is perfect. I'll make it through on the next screen. And then my car is the first one stopped. Frank. Bro, that drives me bananas.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I can't tell you the last time that I actually stopped at a red light when that's the case. I'm through that bitch. Unless the person in front of me runs the red, then I'm like, all right, I'm going to get hit. There are times where you have to. I'm going. I'll tell you this.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You know what? Before you get there, cliffhanger. We have some ads. We have some ads, ladies and gentlemen. We have, how you doing? Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix is going to keep you looking stylish, okay? Because they're going to be like your personal stylist. You're going to go on Stitch Fix. You're going to fill out your little style quiz.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You're going to tell them what kind of patterns you like, what kind of clothes you wear, what's your height, weight, what kind of fits you like from which brands and whatnot. And then they'll jump right into work. They'll start pulling some items from some brands. And they'll send them to you, and you only pay for the stuff that you keep, okay?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Maybe not that long. It feels that long. I feel like the whole light is that long. It feels that long. Wow. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And you send the rest back, free returns, no big deal. But yeah, it saves you some time. You don't have to go to the mall. You don't have to do shopping. It's like an all-day affair that you have to go there and wait in line. You got to look for stuff, blah, blah, blah. Someone will, you know, take your recommendations.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Oh my God, that's a great one. That's brutal. Dude, that's... I'll be honest, I'll just not watch. Like, I've done that before. You said a good one before, the buffering.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
One wrong slip, you're getting, you know, punctured like a balloon. That's what I mean. Also, bro, you're going to hammer my coccyx? Take it easy. I mean... If anything, like... I don't know. Your head's going to pop out. You're going to be like a Rock'em Sock'em robot. You're going to send my spine through the back of my neck. You're going to walk out like a Rock'em Sock'em robot. You know?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
They'll find out what kind of stuff that you like, what kind of brands that you like, and they'll just go to work for you and send you things, okay? It's lovely. It's a great way to keep, you know, your wardrobe nice and fresh and new all the time. But, yeah, so make style easy. Get started today at stitchfix.com slash basement. That is stitchfix.com slash basement. Get it going, folks, all right?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
That would... I mean, I guess we could go... If we're going to do media and stuff like that, it's just like, anytime you play a video game, like... A certain amount of time in, it freezes and you have to reboot it up again. Oh, that's pretty bad. Like you don't lose your save progress. It just freezes and you need to redo it again.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Just give your little stylist. Who's the one that's a stylist?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
What about... Or anytime you play a video game, there's always an update.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
get a stylist stitchfix.com slash basement enjoy um and lastly here we have zocdoc zocdoc uh is a free app or website where you can go and search um and compare high quality uh doctors and click instantly to you know book an appointment or something like that this is how i found out like who my doctor is going to be because once i was off my my mother's insurance then i was like okay
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
People that don't play video games might not understand that one. That one is fucking miserable. Every other time that you have to go to an event, you get stuck behind a garbage truck. That's every other time? All right, I guess you could. Or every sporting event you go to, the team you want loses.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Frankie, turn around because we want to see the back of the shirt. We just want to look. The front of the shirt looks so cool that I'm interested in what the back of the shirt looks like. Look at that.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I don't even know where to go now. I can't go to the same place. My insurance isn't, you know, they don't take my insurance. I have to go somewhere else. I use ZocDoc and you plug in your insurance. You tell them what kind of care you need, whether it's a primary care physician or a specialist, dermatologist or whatever it is. You know, they'll find them in your area.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I mean, but if you're a Yankee fan, you're never going to bet the Yankees are going to lose. You're a Giant fan. Well, right now it might be. I am hammering them losing. I know. But you know what I'm saying? Or – For the rest of your life, you'll never see one of your favorite teams win a championship. Because that's not major. I mean, I guess for certain people it could be.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
They'll show you their review. So it's patient reviewed, like I said. So, you know, if they're a 4.9, 5.0, something like that. It's a great score. So you're like, okay, we know this is a good doctor. And they show their next available appointment. So usually it's within like two days. So there's a quick turnaround. And yeah, so you can find out all the doctors in your area.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
For some people it could be a reality. But like, yeah, I don't think I'll ever see a Jet championship. I don't think I'll ever see that. Ooh, all your socks have a hole in them. Every day is a bad hair day. That feels major.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And yeah, that's what it's used for. So there you go. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash basement to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That is Z-O-C-D-O-C slash basement. Okay, ZocDoc.com slash basement. What were you talking about? Something disgusting?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Every time you put on an item of clothing, you find a stain. Like a little stain. Like a little stain. Not a crazy one. Yeah. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I feel like I don't do that often enough that that would really bother me.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I'm bad at this, bro. It's gotten to the point when I do stuff like that, I throw it and it'll, it'll like, whatever happens, it'll be so unbelievable. It's like, I couldn't recreate that if I tried. Yeah. You know, and most of the time it doesn't go in.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Botflies. I can't do that shit. Botflies being in someone's neck and they're pulling it out. Bro, I'm good. Anything in the ear, can't do it. No, I like cleaning ears.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
It's kind of a reality. I really don't care about that. Except for my mom. I'll pick that up.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Yeah, that's annoying. That one's tough. That's annoying. Every time you or someone cuts your nails on one of your fingers, they get a little too close to the skin, and they do that thing where they cut the skin under your nail.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
It's weird because it creates the itch and then it scratches it at the same time. You never get enough.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
uh why are you saying wait what are you saying someone's cutting your nails well if you go to get like a manicure or pedicure you can you can give these to women too or people that do that joey no but you made it seem like someone's cutting your own nails well if i were to go get a manicure or pedicure why wouldn't you just say you're cut when you cut your nails because then i'll just if i'll figure it out every time i do it i'll just be like all right i'm never gonna do it again you can never keep your plants alive
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
That is the world I live in. That is the world that I'm currently living in. I've actually kept this one plant alive and There's a plant that my mom gave me in this pot. And in like script, it just says, I love you. Right. And I have killed every plant that I've had. And I've kept this alive because I put it in my head. That when the plant dies, your mom dies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
So I'm like, I got to keep this fucker alive, dude. Bro. Becca. Becca was like a super like plant. I don't want to say plant mom, but, like, took care of plants. We had a ton of plants. And then one day she was just, like, over it and put, like, 90% of them outside to die. She, like, walked them to the cliff and then shot them in the back of the head. She made them walk the plank?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
The top of your spine. You're hammering my coccyx. Listen, I've been to a chiropractor. I've never been hammered. Have you? I've never been hammered. Although they did have this machine. Have you ever been knee hammered? Oh, yeah. My knee's been throttled. I love the knee hammer. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I think it would more be like, what can I kind of make different versions of?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
She made them walk the plank. Why? These poor succulents. I think it was just too much to keep up with on top of all the other things to do. And she was just like, all right, it's time to go. That's funny. What about... Every time you try to have something with milk, the milk is just a little spoiled.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
No, I think that's cheating too. I just think that's the chance you take when you select random. You could just have, you know, a carrot or you can have an omelet and omelets could be different. That's the chance you take. Carrot, bro.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Not fully spoiled where it's like clumpy dumpy pumpies, but like just enough where you smell and you're like, it ain't right. Oh my God, I got a great one. I got a great one. Every day, at some point during the day, hair in your mouth that you can't get, that you can't get. Ew. You know what I mean? It could be your hair, but it's like that feeling of like, I can't get this thing. I hate that.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Or that thing, you know how anytime there's something in your teeth and you try to get it, it's like your brain knows where it is, but you can't ever find it with your finger. Never had that? Ant, you ever had that? I know when things get caught in my mouth. Like, you know, like, when you guide your tongue there, you know exactly where it is.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
can we not do supplements can we just like we just have them you'll die no no i mean like can we just like let's just be under the assumption the food tastes like this but it gives you everything you need that's fair okay we can do it you know what i mean but it won't well well this isn't a matter of life or death so what you're gonna eat a protein packed carrot are you not understanding what i'm saying i am fully understanding what you're saying i'm asking why can't we do that
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
But when you have to, like, get it with a toothpick or something, you can't ever find it.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Is this the right tooth? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That. Every day. There's something in your teeth every day.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Oh, like from, like, they piss their pants?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
It's always dripping. I have one right now. Yeah, I guess.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Frank, can you survive off of carrots for 10 days? I don't see why not. I don't think so. You'd be so deficient. In what? Whatever a carrot doesn't have.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Jesus. Yeah, that's, I mean, just a couple traps. So do we. Ba-ding, boom, pow. Crazy. You're our ant problem. All right. I'm kidding. I was talking about my aunt, Maurice. I tried to make up a name. I don't know why that was the name that I landed on. Yeah. Insects could be a big problem. Like don't carpenter. Every day at some point you walk into a spider web.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
What about everything you eat just tastes like the food you get? So you could still get everything.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I don't think you would enjoy... Ooh, I have a good one. Okay, go.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I mean, I get why you hate that one. I understand. It would be cool with walking into a spider web every day.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
That would be so major. I mean, yeah, that's major, dude. How about this? Once a week, your car gets destroyed with bird shit. Oh, I thought you were about to say that. Oh, I don't really care about that much. It's just bird shit. I'll wait until it rains. Huh. What an insane response. Why? If your car gets destroyed with bird shit, you're not going to go get it cleaned?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Bro, they used to, when I got my knee surgery, I had to go to physical therapy and they had to like test my reflexes and shit. I think that's so fucking cool. They would do the stimulation on it, the electro stim, and it would be like a pulse and it would be like. That's cool. Bro, it's, I love electricity. I love hammers. You got an electricity shirt. Electricity shirt. Slap me in the face. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
You're going to wait until it rains? What if it doesn't rain for two weeks? You have a bird shit car? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Yeah. I mean, that's inconvenient, but it also could be major. Well, never mind. What? I was going to say, like. This is stupid because it's not every time. It's not every bridge, but I was going to say every time there's one of those bridges that open, every time they go up. You're approaching it and they go up. Oh, well, that would only if you live where one of those are.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I know, but you're going to play the game because you're a fun person.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I got one. Every time you go to a restaurant and your server forgets one of the items you've ordered. Oh, that's good. I like that. They always forget one of the items. So if you get a starter, a main, a dessert, and a drink or whatever, they always forget one of those. How about this? Every first date, card declines. You can pay for it with your other card, but your card declines.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
What the fuck is panzanella salad? What is that? Is that like escarole? Hold on, look up panzanella salad. I'll be honest, already not happy.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Yeah, but then you have to imagine the person's going on several first dates, you know?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Yeah, I agree. That's not enough. Because what if the person goes on one first date and that's it?
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yeah, no, no. I mean, there's a meat in there. Yo, a salad's probably not a bad thing. Yeah, because you can mix other stuff.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I would say that's major, yeah. Is it? Yeah, I would agree.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I think we had this the other day. If there's a meat in this, I'm in.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
No way. You can try. If I forget my wallet on a first date and the woman has to pay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I'm her, I'd be like, bro, you didn't forget your wallet. Like, this is a game.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You know what the thing is, too, with this? You can, like, choose to just eat, like, the cucumbers. Right.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I'm trying to think of some that are just so minor, but like they would just make, they would like fucking add up.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
And just be like, well, now I'm just having cucumbers. I got a little mix of things. Yeah, you have a mix. That's not bad.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
That would bother me. That's a lot, yeah. That would bother me. I mean, I think an easy one is like every day you stub your toe. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Yeah, you want to give it to them hard, huh? You want to give it to them nice and raw and hard.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
i don't think he said raw we've spent 30 minutes on this it's fun i'm interested in seeing because i'm assuming people will just like be in the comments with like really good ones now that they have like time to think about it like we're just trying to come up with them right now but like what about got a good one go uh
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I don't want to say every time you say hi to somebody, but it's like half of the time that you go to say hi to someone, static shock. Oh. Annoying. What if every person that you meet, you forget their name? That's also a reality I'm kind of living.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Can anyone picture what would happen if I wore a shirt like that?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
That could be major. Every time you order an Uber, the first one always cancels on you. That's been happening. Or even, I mean, I don't know if this is worse, but like every Uber you order, never mind. It's only cool if you're like, well, if the curse is that you don't know what's going to happen every single time, I was going to say every Uber that you order is like 10 minutes at least.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I did see the clip of that guy saying he likes to get, you know.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Canceling when they're close? Oh my god. I've had that happen where they take 20 minutes and then they cancel. Oh no. Can't do it.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Like if Greg did it or something? Yeah, this is for Greg.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Wouldn't make it out. Would not make it out, dude. I mean, you think he's going on the bus and the train?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
That would suck. Chatty Ubers. Just very niche ones.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
The reflex test, though, like, bink, bank. I love that. Yeah, it's cool. I'll tell you this, though. That thing that they use, that little red rubber thing in there, that looks delicious. It looks like a shark tooth. It not only looks like a shark tooth, it looks like it's edible. And I'll... Chew on it for sure. I don't know about eating it. I mean, I won't eat it. I would.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Yo, if I got chicken tenders. I'd be pumped with that. Oh, yeah. Super pumped.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Love that. Oh, man. All right. I mean, I have none left. I think that we've beaten this up. I'm excited to see what the people come up with. Yeah, I'm excited, too. But, Frank, where can they find you? FAlvarez8085 on Twitter. The Frank Alvarez on all other forms of social media. Go check out the Basement Yard Patreon. Patreon.com slash the Basement Yard. The Basement Yard. What? Basement yard.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
It's cool, but like... I think the surprise color of a kiwi is cooler than the surprise color of a watermelon. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
The basement yard on all forms of social media. Yeah. Yeah. And you guys go follow me at Joe Santagato. And that is all. See you guys next time. Bye.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Honeydew. Love that. That's the worst fruit, actually. What? That's actually the worst fruit.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Oh, I'm going again? Why? Oh. Sausage. I'll take sausage.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
No, you can't. You gotta be in the mood for onion rings. At least.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Like a mouse. 100,000% it's getting a gnaw. Yeah, like a mouse on rope. Well, no. Mice on rope. It's this. Yeah. I'm gnawing, like, side of the mouth. Like a dog with a ball. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
A Blooming Onion is the craziest invention. The fact that that's served as a meal is bananas.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Now I don't know who's crazier, the person who just eats a full blooming onion, or someone who's a stranger accepting it from a stranger.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I think the site messed up the words. I think that's just pizza. Tart-taffin? Tart-tattin? I think you got pepperoni pizza. Plug that into- I don't hate that.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Frank, you're wearing a shirt that has animal balls on them. And you hear like, they're a symbol of strength and whatever. I don't think that you can hear how much shit you're full of.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Oh. Oh, it's a pastry? It's a pastry. Oh, the site just got its things crossed. What the f-
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You guys can follow me at JoeSanagato. Go follow the show at TheBasementYard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Like Popeye smoking a cigar. Like Popeye with his spinach and his cigar. Same side of his mouth, by the way.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
And it was like creamed spinach, right? It wasn't just like legit spinach. I mean, creamed spinach is legit. If it's made it not in a can. I agree, yeah. There are things that I would not eat out of a can. Any meat.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
yo did you ever see the tiktok there's this like food reviewer on tiktok and she reviewed they sell burgers in a can here you go this is for you that's disgusting dude it's a full like cheeseburger bun and all in a can it must be the most unhealthy thing ever and it is yeah it's that asian girl it's that asian girl yeah
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Butchers are not delis. Delis are like. It's two in one. No. What do you mean? Like you walk in there and it's like a, like a bodega? No, that's a bodega. So what do you, okay, like a deli, like it's got like the meats and stuff that you can buy sandwiches?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
you want to watch them just just oh my god see through just pull up no just pull up and see where she pulls it out so you can see what it looks like coming out of this can do it is what would elect to do this up we got noise oh oh
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Why are you so creaky cracky like an old haunted house? And then I go my neck. Dude, that sounded like you almost died. And then I go my back. Let's see if I can get my back going. Frank, be careful. I don't need you to fall into a... And then when I'm home, I go my toes. Uh-huh. And then... Does anything else even crack? I don't crack anything. My ankles sometimes. Crack your ankle. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Well, she has to, like, heat it. That's how you heat it up. So you put it in, like, boiling water to heat up the contents. That's a giant fucking pan. That's a fat burger. That's a fat burger. Shout out to this girl. What's her name? Emmy Maid? Emmy Maid. Emmy Maid. She's getting a free plug right now. Yeah, Emmy Maid. Brother, there's, like, time stamps on the side that you can just.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Yeah, I thought you wanted this. Oh, yeah, this is fine. Look at this. It comes wrapped in. Wrapped? It's got pants on? Pants. Pants on the burger. Dude. I'm disgusted by this. Oh, my God. That is bad. I thought it would look worse. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I thought it would look worse. Bro, in a can, though. I'm not eating it. How much for you to try it? Not too much.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
You know how that's a real butcher? A cow escapes from it once a year. Really? Bro, the one on 20th Avenue? Dude, but cows running around all the time. I... They found a cow on Ditmars Boulevard, dude.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
500 bucks. Easily. You'll try it for 500 bucks? Take a bite? Yes. Yes. Well, we have a can! Yeah, I couldn't. I'm sorry. Whatever that mystery is. You're throwing up. I know that. Ant would take a bite of that and he'd be like, oh. Oh, man. I love it. It's so easy. It's so easy. It's so scary. No, but I've never been hammered by a hammer and chisel for my back. Yeah, I've never been either.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
But they put this thing on me to check the density or whatever of something, and it was a little hammering machine. And it hammered your spine? It hammered my shit, yeah. Oh, you got ham. Right from the back. Right. You know? Wow. That one actually would feel like it wouldn't be bad. I wasn't a big fan of it. You ever take a... What are those called? Like a Theragun? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
And you just like put it on your head? Oh, yeah. My whole head shakes. And then it gets itchy. Yeah, what is that? And then my head gets itchy. I'm like this. I put it against my head and I'm like da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And I'm like, this is me in an earthquake. I love doing that. Yeah. No. I don't think. That's a stupid thought. I don't think it's that intense. No. But it feels weird.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
no i mean yo i was mad scared with the one we had here yeah i was like in my apartment you live and you live a couple floors up i live a couple floors up so it would have been as they say in show business fucking dead like my tv started going and i literally was like i'm gonna fall into the water now like that's scary bro do you think but if you fall into water you just you'll swim Yeah, I won't.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I'd rather chew gum that I found under my desk in my public school classroom than eat a pigeon.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Oh, sorry. I'm just... No, I think he's just going like this.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Why not? Because I'm inside of a building that's collapsing into the... East River. Just ride a piece of concrete down. Not everything is a Fast and Furious movie. I know. I can't drive a Corvette through my living room. I'm not a big fan of those movies, so don't say that as if I'm a big defender of Fast and Furious unless Vin Diesel wants to put us in one and pay us a couple dozen million.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
We gotta like get rid of cats. I think I think fuck you. I loved it.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
Don't, don't, don't. It's not. I think it's just a word.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
A couple dozen million? Yeah. I haven't seen one since like number two. I've never watched one. I've never watched one. You've never seen a Fast and Furious movie? I've never seen one. Is this one of those things you refuse now? When I was a kid, I refused because our friend got hit by a drag racer because those movies used to be about drag racing, and now they're just superhero movies.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Now they are full-on people just going into space with a Honda Accord. Yeah, how is that happening? That's not. It's like we're going to take this Dodge Ram. It's like clearly sponsored. We're going to take this Dodge Ram, 0% APR, and we're going to drive it off a cliff and land it in a plane that's going to space.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
It's like, bro, what the fuck is this? Come on.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
I can crack my nose sometimes. I know that you just, what do you think, you're my uncle or something? And you're gonna trick me? Like, oh, look at my nose. Every now and then, this is a serious one, I can crack my sternum. Like, I go like that and it pops. It feels so good. Really? That sounds like it would be painful as all hell. No, it feels really good. Really? Yeah, I might have problems.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
How are we going to land this award-winning car three years in a row and running on a boat? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Chill out, Vin. We see through it. We're all family. I love when movies do that. When the product placement is so ridiculous. Yeah. Like, I think it was like an intense movie and he's like, hold on, let me take a drink of a Pepsi Max. You're like, all right, guy. Like, what are we doing here?
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
And they like hold it up like this. Yeah. And they drink it with the logo facing out. How you doing, bartender? Can I have the banquet beer? Coors. No light. Ridiculous.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
It's true, bro. I hate when movies do that because it just completely takes me out the movie. You know what I hate when movies say the name of the movie in the movie? I hate when they do that. Oh, I like if it makes sense. Like, it's different if it's, like... I don't even... But it's, like, I like when they do it and it's, like, clearly supposed to be, like, funny or something.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Like Hot Tub Time Machine. Yes, that's the example. Where it's, like, it's almost like a Hot Tub Time Machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, like, but, like, I hate when it's, like, a serious movie and it's, like... Oh, you know, they call him the Raven. And it's like, that's the name of the movie. Yeah, I know. I hate when it's something like obscure.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
And it's like one of these movies that like you can't you don't know why it's called that. You know what I mean? Like it'll like the movie will just be called. It'll be like a crime thriller. And the movie is called like, you know, a cream cheese sandwich. And then it's just yeah, like just something like that. Don't fuck with the cats. Well, no, that makes sense. That's a documentary.
The Basement Yard
#496 - We Survived A Sandstorm
I didn't yeah, but you've created that narrative, bro Do you know that I saw something online and it was a video of you dancing at the AC show? Yeah and I saw a comment on that and it was like where is Joe and someone was like he was probably getting blackout drunk and I was like, oh What? Scott. Frank's dancing and drinking Grey Goose. I'm double fisting a Grey Goose and a champagne bottle.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
yeah about a guy that fucked with cats did he i can't remember what happened oh yeah he did oh i thought he just killed luca magnata no he killed he he graduated a human at a certain point yeah yeah but he started with cats that's right and it was not sick dude yeah it's not that documentary we're not supportive of him fuck you luca magnata What the hell? What are you? An Italian dessert? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#497 - The Most Major Minor Inconveniences
Get out of here. Luca Magnata. Too much. Too much plugs. He's getting free plugs on a weekly episode. You said his name. You said the don't fuck with cats. I give an example of a dog. I was just saying like a movie that has like an obscure title. You can't like make the connection. Yeah. You know, TV shows do that a lot. Yeah. Bro, do you remember? You probably don't know.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
So you go in and you full on make a damn like a poop beaver. Yeah. Dude, that's what you do. And then you crap on top of it. Yes. So it's just airborne crap. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You're trying to like support little kids. I will say whoever.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
, , , , , ,, P P P P P P P P P P P P P P ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
You pink! It's raw! It's raw cocaine! It's raw cocaine! You idiot! Let me take... It's frozen!
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
no I call people it is called big because he goes donkey dog donkey well he is like you fucking donkey cut each up fade you easy oh and he gets he always like he's like so defeated by all like I saw one where Wolfgang Puck was there he's like oh it's Wolfgang yeah you know I saw that recently it's someone served him a steak at his own And Wolfgang Puck was like, what is this?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Because you never get a straight answer. You go to a store, I want this, here's my money, here's the thing, thank you, I'm leaving. I really, I much prefer that. I can't even tell you.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
I know. But if you know what it is, like my issue, my, my toxic trait is I fully expect boxes to just show up at my house, but I hate shopping online.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
And I bought it again, ships fast within, you know, two days. If you place your order between, you know, before whatever.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
And then it showed up two days later. Figure out your system.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Well, back order is that the demand exceeds the supply. So they're like, you know what? We fucked up. Fuck you. Take it off. I'm not going to buy it if there's nothing in stock. What happened to sold out? What happened to that? Pre-orders. Pre-orders. Get me. Pre-orders. Pre-orders get me so bad, bitch. I don't mind a pre-order.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Well, they have a very important job. Why do you keep looking behind me? You're freaking me out. Is there a spider? There's an elf. What's going on here? No, I just, I don't like it. If it's pre-ordered. There's no reason you eat. If you get more than what you thought, if you only make 500 and you get 600, holy shit. Make more right away.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Yeah, dude. You think I'm going to wait? You think I'm going to wait?
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
Because I see an email that's just like, we also have... I'm not only going to unsubscribe from your email chain. I might find the company and spit at it. Spit.
The Basement Yard
#495 - We're Gonna Fill The Grand Canyon
We're flying today, baby. We are on ads. Speaking of companies.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
welcome back to the basement welcome back to the basement yard frank how you doing baby i'm doing great how are you prefer baby over bitch yeah i think anyone will well some people don't like baby baby makes them feel a little uncomfortable what do you mean some people don't like baby love that jacket you got going on there by the way absolutely love it love it um just the colors are great
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Oh, see that? Confidence paid off. Now I look smarter to everyone that thought I knew it. I feel like you just, like, I'm trying to picture his body and how much he would weigh.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Crazy. But six feet, you're done. You're toast. This guy's got a good 10 inches on you. I was like, what are you talking about? Yeah, no, I guess shout out to David Beckham and his wife, Victoria. Why am I doing that? You ever see that clip of where she's just like talking about like, my dad, we had it so hard. And he's like in the back, David Beckham in the background.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Like, but, dude, there's some, there's, like, this, like, lighter account on TikTok, and it's, like, this French guy, and he finds a bunch of old lighters, and he's like, this is from the Japan, you know, forgive the French accent. It's okay. Oh, so he has all these old lighters. Does he refurbish them? Dude, and he like gets them. Is that the right word? Refurbish? Refurbish, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Or, like, whatever. And I'm on cheeky, too, now. Cheeky? I really, like, I would, I love the idea of cunt. But, like, we can't do it here. We can cheeky. Cheeky's cool. Cheeky's cool because it's playfully naughty. You know what I mean?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Cheeky blime. What comes next? Cunt? So we're going to do, I actually planned on this, we're going to do an episode of like Europe slang before we go over there. So we'll be well versed. I was going to say endowed for some reason. We won't be that versed. We'll be well-versed before we go over there. But speaking of well-versed, there's actually something that I saw that I wanted to bring up.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I don't know if you saw this. This is not going to have anything to do with well-versed, huh? No. Or well-endowed. Or maybe. Speaking of well-versed, here's something that has nothing to do with that. No, no, no. Well-endowed might be the thing.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Which means big dick. Yeah. By the way, I'm not showing you a picture of a dick. That'd be great. I'm not. I promise. This just sounds like you are now. No, I'm not. But it's been going around on the internet. So there's a woman who, look at me, Joey. There's a woman who found, was going through her dead grandmother's belongings. Could grandmothers be dying? I mean, we know that. They do be dying.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And found this card in her dresser. And show the first one first. No, no, no. Yeah, so that one. So this is a card that was in her dresser, presumably from the 50s or 60s, for Dr. Dan. Expert plane and fancy fucking evenings by appointment only. This is awesome. Grandma was getting it, dude. So, I mean, we can just go... Cut rate to a party of six or more? Satisfaction with one hard-on.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
This dude was giving out six-man discounts. So, first of all... Way to go, Dr. Dan. All the way, also spelling doctor wrong. Is that... Is it doctor or doctor? Is that spelled right?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
What are the lines of being a doctor, though? I think that's something that we definitely have to ask. Schooling.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Really? Yep. Because you could be a doctor of thugonomics. Look at John Cena. You could be... Maybe to you. But this guy knew... Extra attention given to neglected married women. Also, bottom right corner, widow's a specialty. He specializes in widows? There's one part of this that you are vastly overlooking. Virgin's treated gently. Spinster's satisfied. What the hell's a spinster?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Spinster... Spinster. What is that? It sounds like Chucky Finster, which I think doesn't mean anything compared to this. Who is that? Chucky Finster? I don't even know why I asked. Chucky Finster. Tommy Pickles. Oh, that's his last name? Chucky? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. By appointment only is great. You can't just walk in here with a party of six. So this was clearly, so grandma was.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
She was getting. She needed Dr. Dan. I'm assuming, you know, grandpa died. She became a widow. What do you call this? A gigolo? Is that what that technically is? I think so, yeah. Or a male prostitute? Yeah, it could be. I got to say. I mean, this is a doctor. I got to say. Gigolo? Cool word. It's a fun word. It reminds me of Jell-O. It does. It reminds me of... Say it. R. Kelly. God damn it.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Like you make them new again? But what is, so then if fucking something up is furbishing it? Yes. Don't. Don't? Look it up. No, but I love when people get, I mean, we've talked about this too, because there's that one Irish guy who's like, oh, I've got to bring this thing back. Oh, the wood. Yeah, yeah. It's like woodworking. I've seen him make a machete look really nice and shiny again.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I wasn't going to. That is a... I'm a gigolo always on the go. Imagine making a song about like... It was a gigolo spending lots of dough. Oh.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Do you remember who sang that song? He did the hook. R. Kelly. He did the hook. Do you remember whose song that actually was? No. The signs were there, man.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
P. Diddy? No, the signs were there. It was Nick Cannon. Was it a Nick Cannon song? Yeah. You don't need to pull up it.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I mean, the song kind of hits. I think it was on, like, Now That's What I Call Music, like, seven or eight.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Because we had those. My mom would get us those albums. You had all the Now That's Whatevers? Not all of them, but we had a few. Did you have any kids bop? No, thank God. Thank God. You had kids bop?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
You bopped. Your parents probably loved that you were a kid bopping. I don't even know how to understand that. Do you remember any of the good kids bop? Did you legit listen to it or did you know immediately?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
It's kind of a bananas move to be like, yo, let's take popular songs, make kids sing them, and then sell CDs and give them probably nothing. Oh, yeah. Did I tell you that there was a company who reached out to invite me to Kidz Bop? Yeah, they tour. They tour, and they were just like, bring the family, which is cool.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Very gracious, but then they were like, meet the stars of Kidz Bop. Right. And I was like... Like, I'm not going to meet Tommy, bro. What am I going to do with you? What song do you like, you know? Yeah. I was going to ask, tour... Like, that's how you say it? Tour. Do you say tour? Or do you say tour?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Tour, yeah. Tour. Tour? See, like, yeah, people say tour. I think it's just a regional difference. You know what I mean? I don't think there's much. Someone from New York one time was like, tour. I was like, oh, what the fuck? Tour? Yeah. I also pronounce a lot of words wrong, but you know. Well, we're New Yorkers. We do, you know, coffee, chocolate. Everyone gets on me for acts.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Well, that's because you're just saying it wrong, but I understand. Yeah, I don't have time. So just based off of what you're seeing here, if you knew someone that needed a little fancy fucking- If there was neglected married women, then who better to call than a doctor? I mean, here's the thing. Nothing here that says it's only for women. Extra attention given to neglected married women.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
That's fair. That's fair. Nothing that says... He's not... Dr. Dan isn't giving the Dr. Dick to dad. And the virgins are treated gently, which is nice.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Exactly. You want them to be treated with respect. We don't want anyone treated not gently, unless they don't want to be treated gently. In that case... I really hope there's nothing about this that has come out that has been bad or dark, because then we sound bad. But... What did we say?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I know, I know, I know. I'm just saying. All right. So now, Joey... There is another portion of this, which is the back of the card. Wait, hold on real quick. I just want to point this out. There's a photo right underneath this. So it's so funny that there's like a family photo or her and her husband. And then right under that, Dr. Dan with the dick out. Because your grandmothers are all gone.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Right. If you had gone. You made it sound like I have 20 of them. Both your grandparents are gone. Yeah. Both sets of grandparents are gone. Yeah. You're clean slate.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
That's fun. Have you ever seen the ones where they put the machetes in the tub and then they shock it to get all the fucking rust off of it? No. What? You've never seen that? I do like that, though, because sometimes they do that with watches or jewelry. It's like, what is going on in this little tub? It's a little horny little tub.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah, I would... This is honestly like finding the Declaration of Independence. There's also something sad about this because at the time, women were... Not that they're treated great now, but like... Do we know what time this was? It's... So... We're going to get into that. So I think I tried finding the original post and I couldn't find it. I think it's around the 60s.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
So there's another part of this before Ant pulls it up that includes... what is offered by Dr. Dan, what his services. The services, okay. The services. So in addition to what the services are going to pull up, we went the extra mile here at the Basement Yard. We take research very seriously when it is stupid. And we did a conversion of what the cost would be Oh, with inflation? With inflation.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Adjusted for inflation. I love that. So. Perfect. So why don't we pull up the next. Why don't we get to the ads and then we'll get to this. All right. Yeah. Ads. And then we'll talk about Dr. Dan giving that. Go to the end. Yeah. Thank God. First off here, we got Omaha Steaks. Omaha Steaks. They make amazing steaks. Okay. Legendary steaks. They sent a box of them to me and Frank.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And we are very excited about that. They're in my freezer freezing right now. They have been America's original butcher since 1917, way before Dr. Dan. They deliver the world's best steak experience and bring people together with more than 100 years of family-owned expertise. Now, during their semi-annual sale, you can get 50% off site-wide at Omaha Steaks.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Plus, our listeners will get an extra $30 off with the promo code BASEMANYARD at checkout. You're saving tons of money here. And these are great steaks, and they have a bunch of different cuts. So if you're having a party or anything like that, or you're just a steak lover, you can get them at Omaha Steaks.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
So grass-fed, grain-finished beef has more marbling for exceptional flavor and is a choice of steakhouses and professional chefs around the world. So you're getting that kind of quality steak. So don't miss the semi-annual sale at Omaha Steaks. Visit omahasteaks.com for 50% off side-wide and for an extra $30 off, use the promo code BASEMANYARD at checkout.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
So saving a ton of money there, 50% off omahasteaks.com. Get that extra $30 off with the promo code BASEMANYARD. Go get yourself some steaks.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I'm sure. So it's like a... Yeah, I don't know. Or it just shakes it. It just shakes it. I don't think the shaking is the thing that's cleaning it. I think it's probably the chemicals that are in it. Oh, so I can't like put my finger in there. Like if I had a dirty hand, I can't like clean myself? That's a great question. I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
There's a lot of pots and pans out there, and, you know, we've learned over the years that cooking with them enough, you can kick up some dirt, and there's some toxins that are in the things that they are using to protect the pots or whatever, and it's not good because it gets into your body. But with caraway, we got rid of that, okay?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
A single scratch on Teflon cookware can release over 9,000 microplastic particles. Also going to think about that. But Caraway Kitchen Mirror is crafted with sustainable, non-toxic materials, premium stainless steel, natural slick ceramic, and more to help you create a safer, healthier home.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
So if you do a lot of cooking, it's just better to have a pot that you know is not going to kick up any microplastics into your body. So it's nice. I have it and they're also beautiful. Okay, not for nothing. There's got some very pretty colors and it's nice aesthetically.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Enjoy that. Yeah, and you know what? If you're cooking something up in the kitchen... You know, why don't you throw on more of us, more of the basement yard, which you can get at patreon.com slash the basement yard.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Thank you so much to everyone that continues to support us, especially the people that support us over on Patreon, which is kind of realistically the most direct and easiest way to support us. Go to patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Sign up today for that first tier, and you'll get these weekly episodes one week in advance.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And then that second tier, well, you'll get exclusive episodes every single Friday at 7 a.m. Like clockwork, baby. Our biological clock is ticking right along for you. Okay? So, yeah. Thank you, Ant. So go over to TheBasementYard.com slash... nope, patreon.com slash thebasemanyard to check that out. We thank you guys so much for continuing to support us and we appreciate it.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And if you can't do it, it's okay. I completely understand. But please do it. Joe holds a gun to my head when you're not here and the cameras aren't on. Also, if you're coming to any of the Europe shows, we're doing shows in Scotland, London, Dublin. If you're coming to any of those shows, make sure you check out thebasemanyard.com slash submit.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
A part of the Basemanyard Experience shows that we've incorporated into each of the shows is is that we'd like to talk to you guys, with you guys, about you guys. And we ask you to fill out a little questionnaire, include some funny stories, something scandalous. You know, we've had several people tell us about their significant other cheating on them with their parents. It's crazy.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I don't think we should look it up because how would we even look that up?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
So go check it out at thebasementyard.com slash submit. Tell us what show you're coming to, fill out the questionnaire, and then you never know. Maybe we'll talk to you about you. We're not sure. So thank you again. We appreciate it. And we'll see you in Europe.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Obviously. Okay, so here is the price list that Dr. Dan was so kind to provide us with. So we're going to go from the top down, baby. Top down price list. Starting off, clear cut, okay? Plain insertion. Plain. No pepperoni.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
$27. Yo, $7 for caresses? What are we talking about, by the way? Well, caresses, we've figured out, is back of the hand.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Back of the hand. So like this. Because a caress adds a level of intimacy. I don't know that I've ever caressed. So what Dr. Dan is clearly doing here, obviously, is establishing as a businessman that he is no nonsense. Right. 20 bucks. 20 bucks for just the base insertion. Is there tax? You know, that's a great question. I imagine that Dr. Dan does not report any of his income from this.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I don't... There's something in the way you said that that seems a little, like, double entendre, and I don't like it. What does that mean? Like, to me, it's... No, I know what a double entendre is, but, like, how am I saying... No one's knocking the dirt off me. My dust has been knocked off. See, now I fucked it up, but I said it. So now you do get dusty. No. We're all a little dusty.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I don't think so. I don't think he has an LLC. So $20 for a flat insertion with Caress 27. And just for shits and giggles, can you let us know in 1960 what $20 or $27 would be in 2025 inflation?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
You're a businessman. Yeah. A lot of people respect you, myself included, as a businessman. Do you think he's missing out here in any way because he's clearly establishing flat rate for plane insertion? Do you think he should charge per percentage of insertion?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Does anyone really do just the tip? I don't know. I don't think that's a thing. I mean, listen, there are people out there that dress up like Spongebob and scream at each other during sex. I'm sure people do that. Yeah, but they don't go just the tip. They put the whole fucking Krabby Patty in there. You know?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Listen, if Nickelodeon didn't have bigger fish to fry, they would have come here and shut that down. Probably, yeah. But, I mean, potentially, as a businessman... $289. For just a plane in search. It's a plane. Now... It's not a bad starting point. Now... Okay. The next line makes me think that... That this is just flat out missionary. Inverted positions... What is an inverted position?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I would imagine anything other than... Inverted sounds inside out. You know what I'm saying? You're kind of not wrong. Like a 69 is inverted? I think inverted is just like in this sense that Dr. Dan is defining it different. So if I was a businessman here, which I'm not. Okay. I would say, well, Dr. Dan, you need to explain what... your base position is.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Define that, because there's certain legal things here that is not lining up. Inverted positions. So is this, I guess, I assume this is on top of what... Yeah, because the next line says dog fashion. Right, and that's 2250 as well. With included barking and yelping. Barking and yelping.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Definitely. But, so this guy, it's like old lighters. And some of them are just like, it looks like a little clam. And then you open the clam and it's just bang. Like a fucking flame. Yeah. And it's so sick, dude. You know what's cool? Yo, I don't really, I mean, I don't know. I don't know if I love torches. I love torches. My dad, my dad. Yeah, like, no, no, no. What? My dad.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
We're saying 1960, yeah. So 1960 would be $26 now? I'm not throwing that in. I'm not barking and yelping. For $26, barking and yelping. Well, I imagine, so he's doing the barking and yelping. womb stretch 39 25 you're jumping ahead here joey jumping ahead what's a womb stretch is this that you're going like this i mean bro what's 39 25 put that in that's gotta be okay 300 bucks what is it 25
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
$421 to get your womb stretched? Honestly? What is a womb stretch? That sounds like it's medicinal. Maybe Dr. Dan does have some knowledge. That sounds like a birth. Maybe he's like a part-time obstetrician. Is that a doctor name? That's what the OB in OBGYN stands for, brother. Fire. Yeah, you know that.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Barking and yelping right now sounds so not worth it when you consider you if you just level up a little bit you get I mean listen if you're into if you already got $27 for caressing yeah, you might as well, bro You might as well you might as well throw barking in there if you're into search oh That's you caress caressing yeah, okay, I got you the caress and the bar I have understood Can you give me your best bark?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
No, no, no. What kind of dog? Well, so he specifies barking and yelping, so I imagine barking is a larger dog.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
What is a womb stretch? I think that's like you want to stretch it. But that sounds more, like I said, medicinal.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Because that'll stretch it. That will stretch it. Joey, you can't. Of course it will. Everyone knows that. All right, we got to move on from the womb stretch. Wait. $50 for tongue bath. A tongue bath? 50 bucks? I mean. I'd rather be stretched in my womb. Joey, at the time, there were not. What is a tongue bath, by the way? I imagine that's cunnilingus. Well, no, because the next is muff dive.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
What is the difference between? All right. Oh, muff dive is if you have hair. So, I mean, so then by appointment, you need to hope that this guy is a beard because muff dive might not be always available. Muff. I think it's pubes. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe he charges like if you are. If you got a lot of pubes. If you have a lot.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Hey, man. Well, at the time, women would be like, I'm not feeling great because I've been home all week with the kids. And he's like, you're crazy. I'm going to get you a lobotomy. So clearly men had no sense of being a gentleman back then. Have a cigarette about it. Yeah, exactly. You're pregnant? Here, just smoke this. You'll feel great. $100, put that in.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
How much is $100 with a... I mean, we could do the simple math. It's $1,000, yeah. $50 was $7, yeah. Bro, a muff thigh for $1,000? Dr. Dan may be a little out of the price range of a normal purse. Well, I mean... That's a lot. Clearly, this gentleman was...
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
uh one of a kind i mean have we seen other or heard of any other doctors giving by the way also giving out card this was like the card the sesame drinks card that we knew when we were maybe that's what dr dan evolved into he stopped pleasuring lonely widows and he started selling alcoholic drinks Yo, this is also kind of crazy right now because there is a womb stretch on this thing.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
My dad always had, because my dad gave up smoking cigarettes to smoke the better option, which is black and mild. Right. And he would light it with a plumber's torch, which is the fucking torch with the giant propane canister underneath.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
But on the front of the card, it says being gentle with virgins.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Can you do me a favor? Urban Dictionary tongue bath. Just so we're on the same page. What do you think it is? Like, what do you think? I just think it's eating out, cunnilingus. Oh, maybe a tongue bath is just like soaking but tongue. You know what I'm saying? Like just taking a bath, just chilling out. Tongue bath, the art of licking the entire body of your partner. A literal like you're a dog.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Oh. So it's literally he's licking her whole body. He's doubling down on the barking and yelping. And now he's like, I'm just, we're a dog as it is. Now I understand why it's 50 bucks. That's a big job. To lick a whole body? Oh, my God. And that could be a disgusting job. Have you ever licked your hand or arm? That could be gross. I've watched you lick your hand a lot.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah, my hands are a little dry right now. I haven't moisturized today. Yeah, you lick them like a cat. But basically, that's what he's doing. So then just do me a favor. Confirm what a muff dive is on Urban Dictionary. Just so we're all on the same page. We know what we're paying for. Honestly, $50 for a tongue bath? Might be low balling it. I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Performing all sex on the family. Exactly. So we figured that. Okay. All right. So time limits per hour. $37.50 on top of all this? So, yeah. So if you're doing an hour of plain insertion, that's running you $57.50. Now, you're getting into, I imagine a tongue bath comes with a minimum amount of time. You know, like union rules.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
It's like if you have them come in for even 20 minutes, they need a minimum of four hours of pay. And like they're going to take a break in the middle of that. Yes, they need their union mandated breaks depending on the amount of time before they go into compliance. We don't want to get into HR issues here, which is clearly Dr. Dan is worried about. OSHA certified. Also, all night being 12 hours.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Bro, whose night is 12 hours? That's bananas. The world's night is 12 hours, brother. Nah, night is not 12 hours. Standard night is 12 hours. No, it's not. We have evening. I think at the time, Joey... It was only day and night? This is bullshit. I mean, that sounds about right. All night, 12 hours, 150 flat rate. Hold...
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
All right, so Joey is clearly skipping ahead here into the bottom portion of this. We have the sides. We have the... We've gotten to the entrees. The shareables. The shareables. So extra attention. The first one there for $1.15, you could do titty chewing. Which, what is that?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And that thing was fucking wild. Yeah, he doesn't have eyebrows anymore because of that. That's an insane thing to be lighting that with, by the way. I mean, it's my father. Does anything surprise you about it? It is true. Were your parents smokers? No. I mean, one time, my dad, like, never smoked. I don't think he's ever smoked in his life. Really?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
i don't know we know what it is i don't know what you want me to chew on those tits i mean a titty chewing sounds like there's more teeth involved than normal yeah i mean i think that like yeah what is this dude you know that like john d rockefeller's the neglected wife is just like i'm give me the everything on the menu chew on my two of everything yeah Titty chewing? Chew on my tits like a cat.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
For $1.15, some people, you know, there have been claims that people get off just from titty play. Yeah, there are. No, there's no claims. There's a small percentage of women who can orgasm just through titty play. I don't know that from experience. Relax.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
$2.75 steel and then underneath in it says pussy see muff and see muff dive see muff dive see muff and the eye is upside down yeah I don't know I think the french kissing is for the mouth this price but if they want it somewhere else they need to refer to muff dive got it oh genius genius aunt clearly aunt yeah good for you you got any grandparents named dan
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
French tickler. What is that? We're back to Urban Dictionary. We got to find out what that is. French tickler. I imagine.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I love a good inside pocket because then people think you have a gun. Nothing is cooler than when I'm wearing a suit and I put money in there. Bro. Dude, it makes me feel so... Hey, welcome back, by the way, guys. Yo, at weddings, when you have, like, the card... And you pull it out and you're just like, this is for you? Yeah, but have you ever... Have you ever...
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Wow. This guy. What was it? The Nikola Tesla of sex? Yeah. Used for... A massaging accessory at the tip. Why is it specified used by those who play guitar and suck toes to do both incredibly?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
what is the play guitar i couldn't tell you all right um all right okay now we have a finger diddle which we know what that is we figured out what the finger diddle is yeah and then vaseline if needed flat rate 125 that makes sense of course there are some people that require that 125 a 13 dollar up charge yeah well no i mean a bottle dude Yeah. Whoa.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And this was when it was made from like legit like petroleum. Like you were basically getting like gasoline rubbed on your shit. Yeah. This is crazy. Is there a number on the front? No, I checked for that. Okay. God damn.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Is it? I imagine there's gotta be. You just gotta run into the doctor again.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah, dude. What do you mean, did they have phones? Have you never seen anything from that time? This phone's probably from the 60s. That's more like the 70s. I know my phones. I know my phones. I would say that's probably from the 70s. Could you imagine just being like, pick that up and calling Dr. Dan on a rotary phone?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I've never seen him smoke, and I remember them saying. Oh, my God. I can only imagine you asking him. Dad, have you ever smoked? Yeah, he would be so offended. We have gotten it out of my mom. I've been like, Mom, you used to smoke weed. And then she's like, I... And I'm like, whoa!
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Imagine the other one where it's like you have two pieces and you're like, Hello? Dr. Dan? Come chew on my tits. Titty chewing is bananas. Titty chewing is pretty. Yeah, that's cool, though. I like that. I hope wherever Dr. Dan is, I imagine he's dead just like the rest of everyone at that time. Yeah, he probably is. Crazy. You don't make it out after this. Crazy. He's not living a long life.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Bro, if I, like, seriously, if I had grandparents that, like, loved each other. I saw this. I'm like, what the fuck? This would ruin my... Because you know how like... This would ruin your life. You'd be so upset by this for some reason. Well, no. If it was just like farting. If it was like an old-timey gramophone recording of my grandmother farting, I'd be pissed. It's a giant gramophone.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And he's like, plays it. Grandma. I told you when my grandmother died, we found like saucy letters that her and my grandfather sent back and forth to each other.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah, basically. Yeah, because my grandfather was in the Korean War and they like wrote messages back and forth like postcards.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And it was just like one of them was just like, I can't wait to hold you in my bosom. And like that was that was that's basically titty.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah, that was sexting at the time. I've never found anything of my dead grandparents, uh, anything horny, honestly. I mean, I, you know, sex is a part of life. So like you do have to imagine that like your grandparents were doing it crazy. You know, my grandpa on my mom's side was dead before I was born. That's right, yeah. So I don't know how much sex she was having.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah, I mean, I think there was also a type of woman that was just like, I've lost my life partner, and I'm just going to be celibate for the rest of my life.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
She was like, God's watching, and now my husband's watching.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
The vents didn't get cleaned out. Yeah, well, I don't think that we should say it like that. I mean, my grandparents, too. Although, I will say one of my grandparents... Actually, both of my grandfathers were kind of dogs. In what way? Not, like, in, like, the D-A-W-G way. Like, they both had affairs and left their wives. Oh, okay. And then went and had children with the other woman. Right.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
So they were really interested in sex. Yeah. And then, like, one of them... I'm not going to say who. I'll narrow it down to two. We're not, I can't even follow your family.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah. Yeah. It'll be honestly me neither because they mix because some of the branches go into the other branches. That's why you hear this shit. Oh, you're confused. His uncle, like, no, no, no, no. There are two cousins that are distant cousins, like third cousins, that distant meaning they live 10 miles from each other. Go ahead. They, they, they are now married. Um,
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
That'll do something to the root of the tree. Yeah, and they have a kid whose eyes are in his mouth. Yeah. No, no, no. I'm kidding. I don't even know if they were able to have kids. God bless. I think that's a good place to start some ads, I think. Oh, I was going to tell you about my... Who's your uncle? No, it's not.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
That's a three. Fuck. But, yeah, so I think my mom, like, smoked a little bit of the grass, the devil's lettuce. Well, you definitely shouldn't say that. There's definitely better ways to say that. Devil's lettuce? Yeah, because weren't – it was – I think, like, all those, like, old-timey terms for weed were kind of, like, a little insensitive toward people of color.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
One of my grandfathers had an affair and then was with the new woman and would fly the other woman, like his original wife, to come spend weekends with him. In the house?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
That's crazy that you're just appropriating like the way that like fucking people did that. I mean you told us so we were to smile on your face. I feel like I'm the only one who should get credit here. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this smile. There's no smile.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
You're happy. Any of your grandparents cheat on each other?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
They were all, let me guess, they were all happy until the end.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
You still got a pair left? Wait, both of them or like one and one? No. Hold on, read the ads. I'm going to ask you about your fucking old ass grandparents.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Okay. All right, cool. Why are we laughing at that? Yeah, crazy. Anyway, we do have some more sponsors here. We have FitBod. FitBod is going to create a personalized workout routine based on your goals, fitness level, and available equipment. So if you don't have...
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
uh access to a gym membership or anything like that or there's like the gym's too far away or i just don't like going to gyms you can do so with just the equipment that you have in your apartment or your house even if you don't have equipment you can also create a personalized workout routine for yourself through uh through fitbod uh workouts adapt to your growth so each workout is challenging enough to push you to make progress so it attracts your muscle recovery and things like that you can't just go online and find a workout routine that's going to work for you
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
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The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
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The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
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The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
It's nice because you're not competing against pros or anything like that. You're just competing against these projections, so you can build these lineups, and all you have to pick is more or less. or less. That's all, and you can win up to 1,000 times your money. PricePix, you can mix and match players' projections from different sports.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
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The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
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The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Well, yeah, because they – it was, like, a popular thing to smoke by –
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
There is a lot of bangs, and none of them are from Dr. Dan. I'm sure there's tons from Dr. Dan. So you got a pair left? We got a pair. Good for you, man. Are they like, how old? Are they in their 70s or 80s?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Okay. I mean, still kind of relatively, I guess not. Everyone back then, they were having kids. They were like, you're 20 now. Time to have a child. Yeah. Crazy. You like them? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
what do you call them something white like oh my god do you have those names and again it's my italian side so it's nono and nana oh okay that's not too bad yeah i like that did you abuela abuelita abuelito yeah and then yaya and papu his accent is so fake no that's what we say yeah yeah yeah i mean yeah yeah you were there yeah yeah yeah i know you can't not say that but papu I never met Papu.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
black men and women so like the white people were just like you know you know how they be but what i thought the devil's lettuce was like because it's a drug also yeah like but like there's another word for them i don't want to say because it's it's kind of mean but like it has to do with a type of music and then they call it the music cigarette I've never heard that before in my life.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah. Did you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We used to see him. When did he grow? The same year as my grandmother, as his ex-wife. Damn. So he came to the wake and he was just like, he showed up. He came to the wake and then died that year? Yeah. Damn, bro. All people die because of broken hearts. It's kind of sweet. I mean, no, I don't think he had a broken heart. I think he was like super cool.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
He was super cool with it. I mean, he showed up, bro. He probably broke his fucking heart. Honestly, bro, if I showed you a picture of this man, you'd say, get the fuck out of here. Why? Because there is the Greek-est looking man on the planet. The Greek-est looking man. I'll show you. I'm picturing cigarettes. Hell yeah. And gold chains. Mmm, I don't remember gold chains. Hairy chests.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Hell yeah. The mustache, dude? You couldn't believe it. Fuck, I really want to show you right now. Why feet are sitting down outside of the cafe? This guy, he had several restaurants. He was like a cook. Wow. And that's, you know, the guy was fucking something. But yeah, he came to my grandmother's, and he would always, he'd scare me when we were kids. He'd pop his teeth out. He had dentures.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
He'd look at me and he'd go, and he'd fucking drop his teeth out of his mouth and scare the shit out of me. He's a good guy. Damn, that's crazy. Yeah, he's a good guy. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about this thing.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Apparently there was a – wait, before I even get to that, which maybe probably at this point we will never get to, but I wanted to ask you this question that I thought of yesterday, and I was like, would you drink a full – Let me just pull it over here. Would you drink a full 16-ounce cup? A pint. A draft beer. A pint. Of a random person's piss. Right?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
can't throw up or else it doesn't count yeah you think you can do that i start gagging right now and you'll throw up i'll be all right if you get the fuck out of here 16 ounce glass of a random person's piss you have to get the whole thing down you can't throw up is there a time limit on what how long it takes me to drink this piss No, but why would you want to stretch it out?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I mean, if I only take a little bit and I stretch it out to, you know, like two, three days. Oh, no way. I think you just chug it as fast as you possibly can.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah. If anything, you get one wish and it can't be money. So then what could the wish be? There's other things in the world besides money, you pig. Crazy with the pig. What do you mean? Crazy. What would you wish for? I have some questions. Go. Is the piss diseased? So that's the thing. It's a random person's piss. If it is diseased. Is it diseased piss?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Is it dirty piss? Here's the thing. If it's yellow, it ain't some clear, you know, guy. Okay, so I can't even. I'll know it's piss.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
There's no doubt about it. It is so piss. Is pee carbonated? Shouldn't be. No. I've seen some bubbles in my pee. He's going to the computer. P is not carbonated. Are we okay, guys? Do we even know what that means? It's in there. It can't be. Because urine carbonated always seems so bubbly. I think it's just like if you smash water together. Well, that's Quora. We don't know how accurate Quora is.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Let's go to that one. Northwestern medicine. This is foamy urine. Oh, my God. If we're going to find out.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Frank's going to find out. Oh, no, no, no. An STD. What causes foamy urine? Your kidneys.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Have you ever heard that? You're so tapped into, like... Yeah, man. But backtracking a little bit. Again, you know I'm not a cigarette smoker, but... If you pulled out of your jacket, those like old timey metal things that like held cigarettes.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
So, is it a diseased piss? So, you don't know. But if it is a diseased piss, I don't even know if, I mean, I'm sure you can get sick from drinking piss, probably. But, like, if you drink the piss, it's not like you're impervious to the sickness. The only thing is you won't, like, have some long-lasting thing that happens to you.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
So, if it's diseased, it might be something that's easily curable, whether it be that day or a couple weeks. Right, but you'll feel the effects of the piss. Well, yeah, I mean, it's piss. Rarely poses a health risk. Okay, so there you go. I mean, of course, there's, you know, STDs and stuff in there that I would not want. Can you get STDs from drinking piss? I believe so.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Bro, it's like bodily fluids. Pathogens contained in urine rarely poses a health risk. Yeah, but bodily fluids. These bodily fluids do not spread HBV, saliva, tears, sweat, or pee. Huh, interesting. Okay. There you go. Would you do it? Ant has a question. Ant.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Great question. Can I mix it with anything or it's got to be straight peak? No, no, no. All right. You could chill it, but you can't put ice cubes in it. Well, then how are you chilling it? Are you just letting it sit in the fridge for? Yes. Answer your own question very easily. Pour it over a couple dash of bitters. Can I make it into something else? You have to taste the piss full on.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I mean, I'll taste the piss. Yeah, no, you're going to have to full piss it. Because if I put it in like an alcoholic drink, like a pina colada. That would be a good pee pee It would be the easiest piss I ever drank Yeah Wait you've drank more piss?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Why did you do this? Like, it didn't matter what the wish for.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
So you can't see him, obviously. But Joey goes, what do you wish for? He goes, teleportation. Like, obviously, idiot. Like, what else would I wish for? I didn't know that it was obvious. I thought it was just like, whatever, teleportation. Like, I'm not even going to think about it. I would wish, you know what I would wish for? I would do it, yes. Because, whatever, brother. Piss.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Me and piss are like this at this point. It is a random piss. It's not your piss. I mean, if there's nothing about the piss that's gonna be like... And you also said don't throw up. I'm taking the chance. There's a good shot I'm gonna throw up. And you would spread it out over a course of days? Just two days. A little sip of piss. You know?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I feel like that would just make the whole experience much worse. Like I'm continuously going back and forth. All right, so maybe I'll try to chug it. I don't know. In this hypothetical, I'm sorry I haven't figured out. Can't hold your nose either. Can't hold your nose. That doesn't work for me. People that do that where they're like, and they take a shot, still taste it. You do that shit.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I thought he does. I'm just going to, I'm backing you up here. Thanks. Yeah, I mean, I'm taking the chance. And then I'm wishing for, like...
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
tony stark level intellect i'm talking like this the brains to be able to do anything and figure out anything i want to make it clear so not world peace not wishing for i can make i can hold on hold on i can teleportation yeah what do you mean so you're not taking world peace mister i can fucking snap of a finger you're good you'd be jumper that's what you want to be the 2006 movie jumper he just wants to be able to get back and forth from epcot
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And you made them earlier. They're like, yeah, they're like, you bought the tobacco at the store. See, I would do that. Really? I mean, it's still bad. It's still bad tobacco. Duh. That's not why I'm saying I would do it. I would do it because it's just cool. Or, honestly, I hate this aesthetic, but there is something about a rolled up cigarette pack in your sleeve.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I'm saying, yeah, because with that intellect, I could solve world peace, you know? Tony Stark wasn't able to, but I could. I don't think no one's smart enough to come up with world peace. I just don't think the rest of the world is willing. That's true. That is true. But I would be willing. I'd be smart enough that I'd be able to make them willing, you know, with my Iron Man armor.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Is your wish that you'd be Iron Man? No, but just like Bruce Wayne-level intellect. Because with that intellect— He picked two billionaires, by the way. Well, Bruce Wayne is not just a— By the way, he's known to having a genius-level intellect. It's not like I'm picking Elon Musk, who very well could be a dummy. I'm saying you did pick two billionaires, though. Okay.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
All right, Charles Xavier intellect. Is that just mind reading? Well, he's also very smart. I don't know. He's a professor. He's a professor. There's so many. Sorry that all the smart people I can realize. Stephen Hawking, you know? Yeah. Very smart. Very smart. You know? But I'm just saying. Yeah, yeah. But you say, like, you would want to be as smart as you can possibly be.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
The smartest to ever exist. Like, there's nothing out of my intellectual reach. Okay. Drinking piss to get there. Yeah, whatever. I mean, listen, man. That's life. You can't make an omelet without cracking a couple eggs. You can't be smart without drinking a couple cups of piss. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
But, okay. Same thing. Wait, what are you wishing for? Uh, what did I say? I said that I would wish for, I would never get sick. Patek fully perpetual calendar. I would get, I would never get sick. That would be, that would be a good one, but I would be smart enough to figure out that I'd never like, I can never get sick. I don't think that you, the brain, I can cure the common cold.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
What do you think? Because you're smart, bacteria dies? Well, no. If my brain knows no bounds, then I would be able to solve all of the world's problems. Hunger, war. I mean, you don't have to be a genius. Sickness. Frank, you don't have to be a genius. Like I said, you can figure out how to do world peace, but people have to be willing.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah, but that's the other part of it, is that you need to be smart enough to understand how they're going to be willing. So I'd be smart enough to do it all. No.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Well, now you used the M word. I never said manipulate. I just said that I'd be smart enough to figure it out. Right. Yep. What would you wish for? Oh, you said never get sick again. I could never get sick. Like, I just know that, like, I'll just always be healthy no matter what. But does that mean that you'll live forever? No.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Because technically, dying of natural causes is as a result of sickness. Yeah, so, like, I also thought about that, too. I mean, obviously, I'm still, like, I could get hit by a bus. Like, that could happen. Damn, that sucks. It does suck, but that's a reality. So why not wish? You could get hit by a bus, too. Genius. No, because I would be smart enough to not get hit by a bus.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
To get out of the way. I'd be smart enough to not. I'd understand the probability of a bus hitting me that day, and I would remove myself from that opportunity. Yo, you doing this as the smartest person in the world, I would kill you with a gun. But I would know that you'd be pissed and I would see the gun killing coming.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I knew that I would, you know, like Ozymandias, another, again, a billionaire. You don't know who that is. I don't know. Who's Ozymandias? From the Watchmen. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay, but now, same thing, and it can be money. Okay. Human shit. Log of poop. One log of poop. Yeah, but, like, the master log. I didn't know you had different rankings for cracks. But you know what I mean.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Oh, like your fucking Johnny from the fucking greasers? Yeah, exactly. When we were kids, when I would do Cub Scouts, my sister and I- What? You did Cub Scouts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did Cub Scouts. Do you have badges?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Just, all right, so a good, like, just, I mean, that's too big. Yeah. You know what I'm saying. Yeah. But just a log of solid shit this large. And it's a random person, bro. And I can't do anything to this log of shit. You could use a fork and knife. Can I throw up? Because that is gonna make me throw up. That's gonna make me throw up. Yes, you can throw up.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah, so then I'm taking the shot, baby. You're taking the shot?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And you're definitely getting sick. I mean, you're eating bull. Well, actually, no, I'm not. And I'll tell you why. Because with the cup of piss, I have the genius intellect to figure out how to become the smartest man, richest man alive. No, this is the... What does that have to do with eating the shit?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I won't have to eat the shit and wish for money because I already have the intellect to figure out how to be the richest person on the planet.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And that doesn't even mean that I would use my intellect for that. Maybe. He's like, if I'm smart, then I can invent. And now I'm back to the billionaire. I'm yeah, I'm like obviously different worlds. You're are you would you eat the shit?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Can I chill it? What is this? Can I chill honestly, I feel like it'd be better hot I Hot and ready like Little Caesars Can I chill it is such a funny question Why you wanted to be like sausage I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna get him once you want it to be like
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
But, like, you want to be able to cut it like a sausage?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
What about... Oh, no. I got hiccups now. You deserve that a little bit. That's kind of disgusting for some reason. They have hiccups during this conversation. Go. Keep going. Keep going. What were you going to ask next? What are you doing? Oh, is this how you're going to get rid of them? Oh, you do the keep. You've done that a lot on a show. On the show.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
yeah i mean yeah yeah so far wow um god bless yeah so yeah well if it means if it means a comfortable life for everyone i know i will gladly eat a log of human shit six ounces of semen six ounces what is that fluid ounces Yeah. Well, I think there's a difference between fluid ounces and just weight.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I think that means something else, but it was at St. Francis. It wasn't very long, but I remember my parents, they used to dress me as fucking Danny Zuko from Grease, and my dad used to put an empty pack of Marlboro Reds in my t-shirt as like a five-year-old. Wait, I thought Cub Scouts wear uniforms. But, like, they had, like, you had to make, like, those cars.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
No. Two shots. Two shot glasses, I meant. Oh! Two shot glasses. I don't know. I can't pick the person.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Honestly, I think that's where I draw the line. Semen. Yeah. Two shot glasses of blood. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll ask for a third. What's a... Ew, dude. I'm kidding. Two bloods is crazy. Nah, blood, that's... Really? I'm disgusted by it. Really? Like arm, like blood. If it's my own blood, I don't care. It's not your blood. That's the point. It's a random person's blood.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
The idea of drinking a random person's blood is so disgusting.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Let's be very clear. All this was gross and probably got us demonetized a while ago. Probs. But good morning to whoever is watching the show. Yeah, on their drive to work. We're like, it's going to be a beautiful day. It's going to give you something to think about for the rest of the day, though, because you are going to probably ask your friends, like, yo, are you drinking this piss?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
That's a good question. Yeah. I'm going to ask. Yo, the piss thing is probably like anyone who says no is a fucking idiot and you should kick them out of your lives. Like you should be able to easily drink a glass of piss. Piss means nothing to me.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Bear Grylls is different, though. I know. He's a weirdo. I think there's some stuff about Bear Grylls that's not very nice. How about the fact that his name is Bear Grylls? Awesome. Definitely can't be his real name, though. Yeah. Definitely. Give us that.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
If he has a whack name. Yeah, if it's like Roger Stevenson, I'm going to be so pissed. Bear Grylls' real name. Edward Michael Grylls.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
No, it's not. And honestly, he deserves to drink his own piss.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
oh his sister gave him the nickname bear when he was a week old so it's not his own all right you know what but he also perpetuates it because you know he goes around he's like my name's bear you know he does it so damn he's what's his wife's name shauna looks like shara what does that say where oh here shara grills shara oh shara grills or is that a weird sarah Maybe it could be.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
for giving anyone anything for my jacket pockets of course it is really cool you haven't smoking cigarettes which is cool all not actually know it is don't do it don't do it don't look don't do it yet but like uh... at weddings sometimes that the car i got is too wide and uh... i hate that it's so fucking i hate that listen as a former cigar smoker You gave it up? You're a retired cold turkey?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Cause there's a lot of like Irish names that are like, it's spelled and it's like, the name is like Siobhan.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
It's like, but it's, it's spelled like Sheboygan or something. Yeah. Like what are we doing here? Yeah. Well, we don't want to offend anyone that speaks Gaelic. So, right. Or anyone that watches this name Siobhan.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Or anyone that's watching this name Saoirse. What's that? That's another like Gaelic Irish name. Like the actress Saoirse Ronan. It's spelled like S-A-O-I-R-S-E. Soiree. There's a lot of those. There's a lot of those like really difficult to pronounce Gaelic names. I used to tell people I was Gaelic because I just thought Gaelic meant Irish. I didn't know. There's no way you were getting.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Like when I heard gay lick in like 2004, I was just like, huh? A gay lick? Yeah. Ew. You speak what? You're going to gay lick your boys? That's an interesting question. I think that's where we can end. Right there. You know what I mean? With gay lick. Right. Gotcha. Okay. I mean, all right. Where can they find you, Frank? Drinking a cup of piss to become the smartest man in the world. I wish.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
You never saw those where, like, you had to, like, woodwork a car and, like, win a race? My dad put so many quarters in that thing. You strike me as a Cub Scout. No, no, no.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
FAlvarez8085 on Twitter. The Frank Alvarez on all other forms of social media. Go check it out. Patreon. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. If you're coming to any of the shows in Europe, TheBasementYard.com slash submit. Go follow TheBasementYard on everything. Go follow Joe on everything. Go follow Ant on nothing. And then, yeah. You saw that coming. You did. You saw it. Yeah, I did. You saw it.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah. Go, go, go. Anyway, guys. I love how he goes like this. He goes like, prepare. Yeah, anyway, guys.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
One more time. Yeah, his eyes are going. All right, guys. Seriously, this time we're not going to.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Turn off the lights when you leave the basement. Better? Okay.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Well, I think you need to go from one to the other. You can't be an Eagle Scout if you don't start as a Cub. I don't know the hierarchy. I stopped at Cub. I was done. I think I saw too much.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Were you a part of clubs when you were younger? I will say I did go camping with some Boy Scouts once, and it was an experience. Were you a Boy Scout?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Or were you an adult? I'm not an adult. Because the way you said that. It was like I went camping with some Boy Scouts. I was in middle school, and some of the kids that I went to school with were like – you remember some of them. Yeah. They were Boy Scouts, and, like, we went for, like, two nights. And it was just like – I don't remember where. It was somewhere in New York.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
But, like, it wasn't, like, anything intense. It was one of those, like – you ever see those TikToks of that guy that's, like, in the wilderness, and there's, like, a shack that's, like, four campers? The guy with – The guy that's just like, so we're gonna be digging out. Is that the guy with the glasses? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that guy. I will kill for him.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
We watched one of his videos when we were in Vancouver. We did. We threw it on the TV. This dude gets like 28 million fucking watches a month. He's like, look at this. And then he takes a stick out and he's like, 14 foot snow. I'm like, dude, get off of that. It's dangerous, my guy. I love, I forget what his, I think it's like Brave Wilderness or some shit like that. Yeah, I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
But he's like, So today we're going to be like, I brought this homemade bread and it's just dough in a bag. And he's like, and I got this honey butter and he's just scooping charred bread that he made over the fire into honey butter.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
There is a TikTok account that I, there's a couple of them, but there's one in particular that I don't remember the name, but it's this dude who has the sharpest knife in the world. Is it the obsidian knife? What is that? Star Wars? Sword from Zelda? What is that? Do you want me to go off about the swords from Zelda?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Because there's the Skyward Sword. All right, go ahead. No, but this guy, he, like, goes out into nature, and he'll find a piece of wood or something, and then there's, like, a river. So he'll, like, grab a fuck—he'll get a fish, and then, like, he'll scale the fish.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And he like takes a big like rock and he wets it and cleans it in the river And then he just like puts it on he cooks a steak on this fucking and then he's got the steak and then he takes it like a piece of rosemary or just like a piece of Leaf and then he like dips that in olive oil and he goes like this and I'm like do this guy's not worried about And he throws an onion in the air and he catches it on his knife and
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
God, whatever this big knife guy is, you love your knife, and I love your skills. I love your knife and skills as well. Those are the best, dude. When he throws the onion and then catches it, and then he turns it over, and then he starts going, shung, shung, shung, shung.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
I think I'm done, baby. You're a cold turkey. I'm gone. Yeah, I got nothing.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Oh, it's so good. You know why I like it? Because I know I could never do it. Dude. And then when he slices like rosemary, like extra thin, and he's like, Rosemary rosemary is like a leaf.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
That's not what I'm talking about Oh, but he has like parsley and yeah And he's like Like he has like a mortar and pestle and he puts like peppercorns in it and he's like the dude Dude, it's sharp and then he and then he yeah, yo, bro.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
My turkey. Because I got no reason to right now. What was the reason before? Enjoying it. How is that not the reason? I don't know. Maybe if the time was right. But right now, I'm in a place of just like, I don't need it. I'm trying to not die. But whipping out a cigar and then whipping out a Zippo lighter out of one of those bitches and just being like, Zippo lighters. Oh, dude.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, yo, there's salt and pepper. It's everywhere. But you're like, I'm going to make it. I could see you in a couple years after all this is said and done. Joey's going to be one of those. He's going to be it. And I'm proud of you. Thank you. I've done it. I know, but, like, the prospect of you doing it, I'm proud of you. Yeah. I would love for, like, a Patreon video.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
You mean Duck Hunt, but... I do mean Duck Hunt. You mean Duck Hunt. Awesome.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Unbelievable. And then, so the guy I was going to bring up before, I forgot who he is. As if his name would matter here. I don't know. He, like, makes, like, ancient tools. And he's, like...
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
He has a piece of cowhide on his leg, and he holds a piece of obsidian, and he takes a rock.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Obsidian is super-cooled lava that becomes glass. And like a lot of like ancient, uh, um, I was gonna say companies, no ancient cultures and, uh, uh, what's it civilizations would make tools out of this shit because when it, it breaks so thin and it's like 30 times sharper than a scalpel and you don't need to sharpen it because the more it breaks, it just breaks thinner and thinner.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
So like old swords, Look up old obsidian swords. Look that up right now. Old obsidian swords. Do they sell this? Let's get a sword. Let's get a sword in here? Yeah. Old obsidian swords. Look at this.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
And they were like the ancient, oh man, I feel bad that I won't be able to understand like correctly.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Aztec. Okay. And they would like shing, shing, but then they'd catch them and then rip it. And it would just fuck their shit up. Damn, dude. I'm not on ancient tool-making TikTok. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he, like, holds it. Whoa, are those obsidian fucking butt plugs?
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
But, like, if he, like, takes it and he's like, bang! And he hits it with a rock and it, like, pokes. It, like, cuts off.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Like, let's see some skills. You know what I'm saying? Well, I think what we do is very skilled. In a different way. It ain't making obsidian swords. I mean, you wouldn't see them going and selling out Radio City. What are they going to do? I would buy a ticket to that. If there was a... Hold on. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
If I could go to a show where a guy's gonna... Oh, you know you go to like a Peyton sip and you're like, ha ha. Like if someone's like, yo, we're gonna make ancient fucking swords in here. And we're gonna drink some wine. That's probably a little too dangerous. Alright, shut up. What if it's...
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Uh, you know how they would do, like, the old-timey, like, people watching surgeries in, like, the theater in the round? I think they still do that. Yeah. I mean, weird now that we do that. Like, we could... It's for students. I know, but still stupid. Like, if they... I think the students should learn how to do surgery before they do surgery. Yeah, they could be in the room.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
They don't need to be watching it like a fucking vulture. How are you going to get out? You're not in his way. Can I sit with you and watch? Yeah. Done. You don't need to fucking have it in a pod where people watch you like it's a lion's den. I think that's actually what they call it. Or maybe that was a wrestling match that included Ken Shamrock and Steve Blackman. Those are wrestlers. They were.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
What a great... Bro, lighters? Lighters. All of them? Like, there's some... Metal ones. Metal lighters. Oh, yeah, like plastic BICs. Yeah, like, I'm not. Listen, no offense to BICs, but why pens and lighters? Like, why is that? That's very confusing to me, to be honest.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
But... Yeah, I don't know either. I have no idea where we were. Now you've offended me. You've offended me. But if they did that, but like in there, they're not doing surgery. They're just like shaping wood into a canoe.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Just like woodworking. There's that guy. Remember that guy who went viral years ago on Twitch? I think he's from New Zealand or from Australia. And he's just a big happy dude. And he's just like...
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
You know, and he's just like, and like someone gifted him a sub and he's like, Oh, I want to send you the money back. You don't need to do that. I just like doing this. And now he's huge, dude. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
It's funny because... His name is like Brox or something like that. That's a sick name. So cool. But that's also the impression he does for David Beckham.
The Basement Yard
#494 - Visiting Docter Dan
Maybe it's a little close. You know what? They are pretty similar. Bro, if I saw David Beckham and I heard him talk like that, I know I could beat him up. If I saw this guy, I know I can't. You think realistically you could beat up David Beckham? Absolutely not. I've seen him. I mean, maybe. You've seen him sitting down, Joey. He was standing at one point. But he's not that tall. He's what?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah, he does. And he doesn't move. And he's like, I think I'll go to sleep now.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
When my arm's asleep, I hang it off of the bed so that it's like, I can feel the blood just like, oh, but then you can feel it.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
No, it's like, it's like filling up my arm. And I was like, oh, and now I can move.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You ever try to hurt yourself? I do. Well, that's not what I want.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
16 is kind of crazy. Putting the pillow over your face. I have done that though.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I would like to be in the fucking parade. What do we got to do?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Frank, look at me. NSYNC that's performing at the Macy's Day Thanksgiving Parade isn't up at 2 a.m.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
At the count of three. At the count of 400. We're going to let go.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Oh, I'm an idiot. Yeah, you are. The strings are probably bullshit at this point. I don't think those people are holding them down. They're told by trucks. That makes way more sense.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Really? Because you seem to know the itinerary.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
It was like, no, it's fine. You don't even need big tits to work here anymore. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
As long as you're willing to wear the underwear that's riding in your ass, we don't care how big your tits are.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I know, but that doesn't mean that like they're going away.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Let's back it up. Those two years are massive for me.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Do you think people do beer towers at weddings?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You're super fucked up. Where's my keys? Where's my keys is not what I meant to say, by the way. I'm pretty sure. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Try like ten. Ten summers where Frank refused. refused to drink beer unless it was in a boot glass. Or you'd wear the helmet. The helmet.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Get two beer towers in here, and we should just crush them.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And not only that, but they also have a lot of tools that will help you optimize your traffic. It will let you know where the traffic is coming from. And with that, you can allocate your marketing funds or whatever it is.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors and click instantly to book an appointment. This is true. Before ZocDoc was even a sponsor on this, I used them because I had no idea how to even book a doctor after I was off of my parents' insurance. I was like, I have my own insurance, but I don't know who takes it or whatever it is.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
That's very confusing, at least here in New York it is. So I looked online and I found ZocDoc. You put in your insurance, you put in like what kind of care you need. whether it be a primary care physician or a specialist or anything like that. Then you hit search.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Weird, the things that you do, you know? That was a weird time.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
That's a picture of a clown. Yeah, that's a clown, brother. Full on clown.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Energy movements. Yep, yep, yep. This kind of thing. Yes. Also, isn't this so weird that growing up everyone had that one dude in the neighborhood who would randomly be like, is that the guy doing Tai Chi over there?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
It's about balance you just Knocking some guy over and they're all just like yeah, how can you sit there?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Get like an ex-Navy SEAL and just have them be like, come up to the crowd. I need a volunteer. And just make them shit their pants. That would be so awesome. Can you imagine that?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Oh, is that? Whoa. Is that Topanga now? She was at like a WWE event recently. Look at that shirt. That's a Frank shirt there.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And I remember seeing that specifically where the lights go off and the lights turn on. Yes. And the guy's got a pencil through his head. Yep. And he slides down the wall and he goes, I'll always remember he was this tall.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
that the strangers concept once you're getting into like haunting like i don't know why see i'm the opposite i things that are real freak me out way more than things that are like supernatural yeah but like uh i i agree but i i just feel differently about like haunting and like religious shit because i'm like oh i don't i don't know i mean yeah i mean you all you were also raised more religious than i was so like i can understand becca's like that though but that's not why it's like there's there's
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
accounts of Exorcisms like there's people who do them.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You cried about girls too. What up, bitch? I did. Remember when you cried?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yep, full circle. That's how zoned in you were on Cisco that you remember the next day.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Or I had a bunch, and I was just going through, and one of them said, Kelsey, it's from your best friend Kelsey. And then he went, what? And I looked at him, and he looked at me like I stabbed him. And he was like, I thought I was your best friend. And I was like, you are. She wrote that. I didn't write that. And he was like,
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I won, bitch. Bro, do you remember when Kelsey moved away? I remember the next year. It was basically she went to Japan, dude. She moved 15 minutes out.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I remember one morning we were walking to school and I was wearing a headband. Not relevant to the story. But I was wearing a gray headband, and you wrote facts into the concrete, and I was too afraid to write my name in it.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah. Sorry for the last five minutes. We're just reminiscing.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah. Yeah. Guys, go follow the show at TheBasementYard on TikTok and Instagram.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
That sounded like a little crazy, right? Because you always talk about how we went into the ice cream truck. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You were, you were, they were actually. They were lemon. Those are much better than the, the, the Ninja Turtle ones that you love so dearly. Fuck you! Oh no, the Tweety Bird. Also fuck you!
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Can someone explain how hard it could possibly be to put the gumball eyes in the right place?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Thank God you had chocolate bunny. Question though. No.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Named it Miss Crab Tree and Keith wanted it to like run around and like open the thing and then it just ran away. How fast could it have gotten away? Honestly, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe my mom just fucking tossed it. It's like, oh, it ran away.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I didn't even tell you. I had a dream about you. Oh. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I don't remember if there was anyone driving, but you were sitting in the passenger seat. Okay. And then I was just going, I was trying to talk, but I couldn't. Oh no. Like it was like, I'm trying to talk.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Frank! I hate that part of dreams. But you wouldn't hear me. Oh, no. Because eventually I'd get it out, but it would be so low. So then the next time I'd try to yell, but it would be like, Frank! No, no. You'd never fuck me up.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Or like you eventually throw it and it's like, oh, this is so, it's not going to hurt anybody.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
What? It looks like you're in the middle of throwing a curveball. I know.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
But the other guy was Perseus. He was shot with an arrow.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
You're just really spoiling everything. Yeah, I said, I said. Beating the fuck out of her, right? Disgusting beat up. And then fucking... I don't even know if she's alive or dead. I can't remember. But then at one point, they wake up and they're one.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Oh, but she's trying to make it. It's like you're not a cabbage patch doll. You like turn them sideways and their eyes close. Yeah. That's funny. Oh, you know what you should do?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Oh, what should we say for you? Oh, just so big and hairy or whatever.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
He would count down his birthday, bro, like he's the queen. That was bananas. First of all, fuck you. Second of all, who the fuck are you? How did I get first fuck? How is fucking King Disney over here? When's your birthday?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
No, if you want a real roar Yeah, you want a real roar? Yeah, give me a real roar. Alright, hold on.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Well, don't make me laugh. What am I doing? You want a real roar?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
One more one more one more roar. I'll give you one more more. That's it. All right. All right Send us off with one more good. Oh, no, we're getting going. Yeah Yeah, you you were like this I need to
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Your face is wet with tears, dude. Oh, no. Why are you crawling? Frankie's crawling. I'm gonna watch that a thousand times, dude. Immediately putting up that footage.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Oh, my God. You're so easy to get. Don't punch it. Oh, fuck, man. Can you roar?
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
Oh, my God, dude. Yeah. So stupid. Yeah. Well, I think that's it.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
He's gonna get him. He's to gag. It's crazy how easy you gag. It's insane how easy it is to get you gagged.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
There's problems there. Wait, no, T. There's problems.
The Basement Yard
#492 - We Took The Substance
What the hell is this shit? They have a glow stick shoved in their ass.
The Bread Basket Podcast
Draft Of Things We Say We’ll Do That We’ll Never Do, NBA Finals Predictions, And Q’s From The Sticks
Yeah.
The Bread Basket Podcast
Draft Of Things We Say We’ll Do That We’ll Never Do, NBA Finals Predictions, And Q’s From The Sticks
Yeah.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Postgame Show: Howler Monkeys, Flying Bags of Marijuana, A Bombing Range
Können wir bitte ein Update von Scranton bekommen? Du weißt, ich sitze um die Küchentafel. Mein Vater sagt mir, Joey, irgendwann wirst du auf der Dan Levitard Show geben, ein Update von Scranton.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Yes, sir. How are you? Thank you for taking my call. You got it. I really appreciate it. What's up, brother? Nothing much. So pretty much... I found my wife in an emotional affair with my neighbor for over a year now. I found out a couple weeks ago. I looked through the call logs on the phone. I knew something was going on between the two of them.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
I confronted him three times, and I confronted her. I'm being honest with you. It was probably two to three times a day. We would consecutively argue about it. He would, by my son... clothing for school and just stuff for his room. And he would cook my wife dinner a lot. And in front of me, they had nicknames and everybody denied it. And I'm having a hard time believing her in anything she says.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Her mother passed away about two years ago, and she was swearing on her deceased mother and our son that nothing was going on. And then when I confronted her, it was... The blame was on my end, and things weren't good. It's been going on for about a year. We were on couples therapy starting this January.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
I was unaware of everything, but I knew something was off in the marriage, and I was trying to make it better. I can't even get away because he's next to me at home, and he is there when I go to the gym, at the same gym, so I can't even have an escape. that way. And I'm not sure where to begin. I'm not even sure where my head is at. I can't trust anybody. And this is where I'm stuck at right now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
I'll just sit here with you. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it. Do you have little ones? I do. I have one three-year-old son. Oh man. Yeah. I'm not even, I don't want to come home. Um, I, I, I literally can't get away. And she said that she broke it off with him. And, um, our houses are so close to you. If I put a hammer through the wall, you can probably see his living room.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
That's how, you know, we're, we're right next door. Um, but, and, uh, you know, she said that she broke it off. And then about two weeks ago, I asked her, we were just talking and I asked her what she had for dinner and she said that she didn't eat. And this is something little, but it's just the fact that it happened.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
She said that she didn't have dinner because she wasn't hungry because of everything going on. And then I got home. I work late and I got home that morning and there was food and that was not ours. And how I know is because it was on a paper plate that was not ours in the garbage. And she wasn't honest with me again. And, um, he keeps talking to her and saying hi.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
And, um, yeah, they, they both said that it was nothing sexual, but I don't believe the two of them because like I said, he, I confronted him three times about it and my wife twice a day for two, three times a day for the last year. So.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
I don't mean to throw another curveball at you. Throw them all, man. Throw them all. So this past February of this year, we jointly filed bankruptcy. So we could sell it. But as far as buying, I'm pretty sure we can't buy it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Yeah. And they would FaceTime too. I forgot to mention that. Joe.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Yeah, I thought I was past the anger stage.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
I thought I made the right, honestly, I thought I made the right call for staying for my son and try to work it out. But I'm just, I'm angry. I can't even look at her. It's like she, you know, she's trying in that aspect. But when I first found out it was like the end of June and I, I just said a divorce probably, I'm going to say like two, two weeks ago. Then that's when she started to change.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
And, I'm like, well, you know, why did it take me to say a divorce? And, you know, I don't want to come home. I don't want to be around anybody. I'm angry. I'm upset. I can't believe anybody. I don't believe a word that she's saying, you know what I mean? Even though she could be telling the truth very well.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Yeah. Yes, sir. Yeah. Like one of the minute I leave for work, I leave the house around two and then that's when the calls would happen. Of course. Yeah. Of course they would. I guess I'm just still processing this and I don't even know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Yeah, I have a three-year-old. Excellent. I don't want to make it worse for anybody.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
I mean, yeah, she's, I mean, she's a great mom and I, you know, I couldn't ask for a better mother that way. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
And our son, like just to bring one more incident up, like, you know, we were painting our son's room and, um, we were in the middle of it and him and I started it and nothing was done. And she got the next, the following day, she got out of work at two. I left and I called her around my six 30 break time. And, um, she said that the room was finished and done.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
And, um, I didn't believe her cause I know how much that takes, especially with a three-year-old by herself. And then I get home that next day because I get home at night and I look at the room and it's beautiful. Everything was cut in all the corners. And I look on the tarp and there was paintbrushes and rollers that I don't have.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
And our son consecutively says that, I don't want to say names, but the neighbor, mommy and dad,
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
I know. I'm sorry. I hate it for you too. Sorry, it's just, you know, love's a funny thing. It's like, no matter how bad somebody hurts you, you just don't stop them. No, of course not. Of course not. I guess that's what I'm holding on to.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
Um, yeah. Um, yeah, I'm, I'm pretty sure that's, you know, it's, what's going to happen. And she told him that, you know, she wants nothing to do with him, but, um, you know, yesterday he was, they were outside and she took my son and her, um, uh, herself and my son and the dog for a walk. And when she went down the street, you know, he was staring at her.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
And when he got back, he, you know, he said, Hey, how are you guys? And she's like, you know, good. How are you? And that's something little, but it's the fact that we're going through all this. And it's like, I, you know, my expectation is no, no context. And I shouldn't even have to say that if you're willing to work with somebody, then her defense was, well, we're neighbors.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
You know, what am I going to say? We're going to say hi. And I'm like, okay, but our marriage is on the line. Not a neighbor that you're having an affair with.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 4: The Best of 2024
So apparently this is all verbal on the back deck. Exactly.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Being a Mom Isn’t What I Thought It’d Be
Yeah, it's pretty good. I can't complain too much.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Being a Mom Isn’t What I Thought It’d Be
I was calling because back in 2018, my father took his own life, and my kids were real young. Now that they're getting older, I try to keep him involved, keep him in their lives so they know who he is. My daughter now is asking how he died. Excuse me. I don't know how to tell her.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Being a Mom Isn’t What I Thought It’d Be
Yeah. He was a good dad. Taught me everything I know. I thought this would be easier.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Being a Mom Isn’t What I Thought It’d Be
Yeah. But it came very unexpected. I was not ready for it. I mean, not that anybody ever is, I guess. Out of the blue? Yeah, absolutely. He was at my house the day before and I didn't even know it was coming.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Being a Mom Isn’t What I Thought It’d Be
Okay. Yep. And they ask often, you know, I mean, I keep pictures around and I talk about them and they just, I don't know how to explain to him what happened. Okay. And I don't want him, I don't want him to think suicide is okay. Of course. But I don't want to stigmatize it either, you know what I mean?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Being a Mom Isn’t What I Thought It’d Be
Um, I wouldn't think that it would come up. I mean, it's... I don't want to say that people don't talk about it, but it's not ever talked about in that sense, I guess.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Being a Mom Isn’t What I Thought It’d Be
Not all the time, but they see them, yeah. I mean, it happens.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Being a Mom Isn’t What I Thought It’d Be
Absolutely not, no. After the pain I felt, absolutely not. I couldn't do that to anybody.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Being a Mom Isn’t What I Thought It’d Be
Some days are better than others. I know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
I know. I was not ready for that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
Woo-hoo. That's a win.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
Well, thank you. I appreciate it. I think most days we can breathe at night knowing, you know, our kids would rather be home than most places. So that's a little parenting win when they're teens that they like to be home. They, you know, enjoy time with friends, but we're a safe place for them. And that's what my job was, and we've done it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
Hey, Dr. John. How are you?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
Absolutely. That's it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
I'm doing well. I'm covered in snow up here, but other than that, we're great.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
I used to live in Knoxville. I miss it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
No way. Yeah, it was a pretty great show.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
So, yeah. So, my husband and I have been married. It'll be 18 years in August. Going really well. We're really happy. We have four kids. But it's brought up a couple of funny things. Our oldest will be 16 in February. So, heaven help us. But she came home from a friend's house the other day and brought up something.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
She said, hey, mom and dad, like, I feel like you haven't prepared us for the real world. So, like, alarm... start going off. Um, and we asked her to elaborate on it and she said, well, you guys are kind of like Disney parents because you don't cuss and you don't argue and you're constantly saying things like we love you and we support you and we're really uplifting. I know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
So I totally didn't see this coming because she said when she went to her friend's house, the parents were bickering and cussing and we're really coming down on her buddies. Um, and she's never seen that before. So she said that, you know, when it comes time for her to get married and have relationships, we haven't demonstrated constructive conflict resolution.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
Like, those are my words, obviously not my 16-year-old's words. But she's like, you guys never fight. Like, I don't know what that's going to look like when I get married. So then my husband and I have kind of been reeling with it. We don't know how to do that productively and not, you know, have the earth move from under our kids' feet because they've never seen that before.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
But I also feel like we haven't prepared them well enough to go to battle on their own for when they're an adult.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
We thought so until this came up. No, no, no.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
Our kids haven't faced adversity because we've been there for them. But what I tell the kids all the time, what I tell our oldest daughter, because she's really great about breaking down and like analyzing situations. I'm like, listen, I can't control the world. I can control home.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
And, and if something happens out there, you can come back here because you know, you have firm footing, but I can't protect you forever.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
So when I have friends that tell me that they have gotten divorced or friends' parents that say, oh, you know, we made it look so easy. I think that's one of my biggest fears because my husband and I did overcome a lot, but it was way before the kids showed up.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
They don't see that banter.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
Their oldest will be 16 in February. But she came home from a friend's house the other day and brought up something. She said, hey, mom and dad, like, I feel like you haven't prepared us for the real world. So, like, alarms start going off.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
So relationally, how do you think that would, I mean, I guess as she starts dating, we haven't crossed that yet, but as they start getting older with relationships, working through that also that way?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
We've established, I mean, we have the dinners together and open dialogue. And honestly, we're doing the questions for humans, and she loves that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
It's just giving them the tools to be safe and
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
And that sounds so basic, but it makes so much sense.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
And you know, I'm like my husband and I are joking. I'm like, you know, you don't want to throw a fake argument. You know what I mean? I don't, we don't want to do that in front of our, we don't do that naturally. So that it sounds so strange.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
Right. It doesn't look like war. It just looks like family dynamics, but she's learning what healthy looks like.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
That's right. Every day.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
That's another show, John. No, I'm totally kidding. We've come a very long way. We're very happy.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
So I discovered that my mother was having an affair. At first, she kind of tried to deny it and lie about it. And she just said, you know, it was a one-time thing, but it was pretty clear cut that the evidence was there. And it came to a boiling point, um, where she finally admitted it and came out with the truth. But how to, obviously my father's very distraught by this. Um, how did he find out?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
She borrowed my car and I found a box of condoms in my car after she borrowed them. Oh God. After she borrowed the car. From your mom? Yeah, I had to confront her on it. Dude, hold on.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
It was... I went into a state of just shaking, and I felt like a ghost as soon as I saw it. I was like, this can't be real.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
That can't be real. I mean, the whole thing just feels like a nightmare.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
So I gave her the ultimatum. I said, good on you, brother. Good for you. I said, either, either you tell her or I said, either you tell him or I'm going to tell him. Good. I'm not living with that on my conscience.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
So, you know, she ended up telling him a couple of days later. And, uh, but those couple of days just, I couldn't even look at my dad in the eyes. He, he could feel something was wrong. And, uh, It was just, it was horrible on me. It still is.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
And obviously now he's very distraught and struggling because she continued to lie about it after I discovered it and just said, you know, it was a one-time thing. But then we found more evidence that it was clearly not just a one-time thing. And, you know, the phone calls, the text messages were pretty clear cut that this had been going on for, you know, a little over a month, maybe two months.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I mean, I guess how to like, I've been trying to help my, like, honestly, more out of it than anything. I'm more distraught for my dad because, you know, they've been together for over 30 years and you can't carry it, brother.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
He's struggling so much. And my family, like my brothers and all that, they're all struggling with it too.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
That's kind of the biggest thing. I've told my dad, I said... I've already explained to him. I said, you know, I'm always here for you. I get you have emotion because he's like, I feel sorry that, you know, that you guys have to go through this. And I said, man, it's not your fault. And whatever your decision, whatever going forward it is, I'm here for you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I support you in whatever it is that you want to do moving forward with this.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Yeah, I already kind of went through that because I found out who the guy was. Like you said, I tried to be more wise than that. I decided, you know, that's just pure emotion. And once I let that emotion get over, I was like, all right, what's the next step? I'm not going to do anything to this guy because what's that going to do for anyone? Nothing.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I discovered that my mother was having an affair, and I found a box of condoms in my car after she borrowed them. From your mom? Yeah, I had to confront her on it. Dude, hold on.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
No, that's kind of one of the biggest things is like I was working and then recently it's the winter time. So I was working construction. My job stopped. I'm kind of looking for something else now. So that was already something that I was dealing with personally. and trying to figure out what's my next step, and then this got thrown.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I was kind of thinking about getting out of construction and doing something different like sales. Get on it. What would your thoughts be on that?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
I guess the only other thing with that is I worry about right now is leaving my dad and leaving him alone. He's a grown man.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
Yeah. It's just hard. It's seeing, seeing him broken and being him upset. I've never seen that. It's hard.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
That's what I told him. He said, I feel selfish for letting you see this. And I said, Dad, you're human.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Caught My Mom Having An Affair
It's been tough because both me and him, we can't eat and we can't sleep. Yeah.
The Rewatchables
‘Someone to Watch Over Me’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan
I never saw anybody killed before.
The Rewatchables
‘Someone to Watch Over Me’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan
I know you have a wife. I'm not asking for anything. But I'm scared.
The Rewatchables
‘Someone to Watch Over Me’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan
I hope you understand how upsetting this is.
The Rewatchables
‘Someone to Watch Over Me’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan
Well, if you're going to be my escort, you need a new tie. Perfect. All right. I'll take it. I get my account. Yes, Mr. If we had more time, I'd work on the suit, too.