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The Basement Yard

#494 - Visiting Docter Dan

Mon, 17 Mar 2025

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Yes, docter is supposed to be spelled that way! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Transcription

Chapter 1: What are the hosts discussing in the introduction?

00:00 - 00:25 Joey

welcome back to the basement welcome back to the basement yard frank how you doing baby i'm doing great how are you prefer baby over bitch yeah i think anyone will well some people don't like baby baby makes them feel a little uncomfortable what do you mean some people don't like baby love that jacket you got going on there by the way absolutely love it love it um just the colors are great

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00:27 - 00:43 Joey

I love a good inside pocket because then people think you have a gun. Nothing is cooler than when I'm wearing a suit and I put money in there. Bro. Dude, it makes me feel so... Hey, welcome back, by the way, guys. Yo, at weddings, when you have, like, the card... And you pull it out and you're just like, this is for you? Yeah, but have you ever... Have you ever...

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00:43 - 01:05 Joey

for giving anyone anything for my jacket pockets of course it is really cool you haven't smoking cigarettes which is cool all not actually know it is don't do it don't do it don't look don't do it yet but like uh... at weddings sometimes that the car i got is too wide and uh... i hate that it's so fucking i hate that listen as a former cigar smoker You gave it up? You're a retired cold turkey?

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01:05 - 01:08 Joey

I think I'm done, baby. You're a cold turkey. I'm gone. Yeah, I got nothing.

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00:00 - 00:00 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

Why?

00:00 - 00:00 Joey

My turkey. Because I got no reason to right now. What was the reason before? Enjoying it. How is that not the reason? I don't know. Maybe if the time was right. But right now, I'm in a place of just like, I don't need it. I'm trying to not die. But whipping out a cigar and then whipping out a Zippo lighter out of one of those bitches and just being like, Zippo lighters. Oh, dude.

00:00 - 00:00 Joey

What a great... Bro, lighters? Lighters. All of them? Like, there's some... Metal ones. Metal lighters. Oh, yeah, like plastic BICs. Yeah, like, I'm not. Listen, no offense to BICs, but why pens and lighters? Like, why is that? That's very confusing to me, to be honest.

00:00 - 00:00 Joey

Like, but, dude, there's some, there's, like, this, like, lighter account on TikTok, and it's, like, this French guy, and he finds a bunch of old lighters, and he's like, this is from the Japan, you know, forgive the French accent. It's okay. Oh, so he has all these old lighters. Does he refurbish them? Dude, and he like gets them. Is that the right word? Refurbish? Refurbish, yeah.

00:00 - 00:00 Joey

Like you make them new again? But what is, so then if fucking something up is furbishing it? Yes. Don't. Don't? Look it up. No, but I love when people get, I mean, we've talked about this too, because there's that one Irish guy who's like, oh, I've got to bring this thing back. Oh, the wood. Yeah, yeah. It's like woodworking. I've seen him make a machete look really nice and shiny again.

Chapter 2: Why did Joey give up smoking cigars?

08:30 - 08:49 Joey

We watched one of his videos when we were in Vancouver. We did. We threw it on the TV. This dude gets like 28 million fucking watches a month. He's like, look at this. And then he takes a stick out and he's like, 14 foot snow. I'm like, dude, get off of that. It's dangerous, my guy. I love, I forget what his, I think it's like Brave Wilderness or some shit like that. Yeah, I don't know.

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08:49 - 09:03 Joey

But he's like, So today we're going to be like, I brought this homemade bread and it's just dough in a bag. And he's like, and I got this honey butter and he's just scooping charred bread that he made over the fire into honey butter.

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09:03 - 09:04 Frank Alvarez

All about it.

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09:04 - 09:23 Joey

There is a TikTok account that I, there's a couple of them, but there's one in particular that I don't remember the name, but it's this dude who has the sharpest knife in the world. Is it the obsidian knife? What is that? Star Wars? Sword from Zelda? What is that? Do you want me to go off about the swords from Zelda?

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00:00 - 00:00 Frank Alvarez

I'm sorry I brought up Nintendo.

00:00 - 00:00 Joey

Because there's the Skyward Sword. All right, go ahead. No, but this guy, he, like, goes out into nature, and he'll find a piece of wood or something, and then there's, like, a river. So he'll, like, grab a fuck—he'll get a fish, and then, like, he'll scale the fish.

00:00 - 00:00 Frank Alvarez

Oh, yeah. And then he'll make a fire out of, like, a stump and something else, and then he'll create a fire, and then he's got, like, bread. Ooh. And then he's got, like, a piece of meat. Ooh. Ooh. And then he's got... He's making... What are you doing? And then he's slicing tomatoes thin. Thin tomatoes. And he's got that giant fat knife. And they're see-through.

00:00 - 00:00 Frank Alvarez

The tomatoes are so thin that you can see through.

00:00 - 00:00 Joey

And he like takes a big like rock and he wets it and cleans it in the river And then he just like puts it on he cooks a steak on this fucking and then he's got the steak and then he takes it like a piece of rosemary or just like a piece of Leaf and then he like dips that in olive oil and he goes like this and I'm like do this guy's not worried about And he throws an onion in the air and he catches it on his knife and

Chapter 3: What makes lighters fascinating?

19:07 - 19:20 Joey

I don't know if you saw this. This is not going to have anything to do with well-versed, huh? No. Or well-endowed. Or maybe. Speaking of well-versed, here's something that has nothing to do with that. No, no, no. Well-endowed might be the thing.

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19:22 - 19:22 Frank Alvarez

I'm not going to show you.

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19:22 - 19:47 Joey

Which means big dick. Yeah. By the way, I'm not showing you a picture of a dick. That'd be great. I'm not. I promise. This just sounds like you are now. No, I'm not. But it's been going around on the internet. So there's a woman who, look at me, Joey. There's a woman who found, was going through her dead grandmother's belongings. Could grandmothers be dying? I mean, we know that. They do be dying.

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19:47 - 20:18 Joey

And found this card in her dresser. And show the first one first. No, no, no. Yeah, so that one. So this is a card that was in her dresser, presumably from the 50s or 60s, for Dr. Dan. Expert plane and fancy fucking evenings by appointment only. This is awesome. Grandma was getting it, dude. So, I mean, we can just go... Cut rate to a party of six or more? Satisfaction with one hard-on.

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00:00 - 00:00 Joey

This dude was giving out six-man discounts. So, first of all... Way to go, Dr. Dan. All the way, also spelling doctor wrong. Is that... Is it doctor or doctor? Is that spelled right?

00:00 - 00:00 Joe Santagato

That's wrong. Doctor.

00:00 - 00:00 Joey

It is doctor.

00:00 - 00:00 Joe Santagato

Yeah, yeah.

00:00 - 00:00 Joey

So this guy didn't want to get in trouble.

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