Dax Shepard
Appearances
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert, experts on expert. I'm Dan Shepard, joined by Lily Padman. Hi. Per your request, you spearheaded this, and I'm so grateful you did. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
She was the casting director for Family Ties?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Made very popular in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay, so you start working on that show, and I imagine you're doing a lot of the work that's not picking.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I think it led to a lot of trips to the emergency room that show. I know my brother and I would try that. Because you'd go like this and the defense was this. But I was five years younger, so his fingers were longer than this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
But that was what we worshipped. And people are calling, I'm sure, and they're pitching people.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Sides are the lines for people who don't know. So those are the lines for the audition.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
They come in a variety of cool and captivating styles created by different artists, so there's something for everyone.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah. Now, this huge explosion in the amount of managers and agents and whatnot, is it proportional to because when you were on Benson, you're casting the Cosby show. There's only three networks. The three networks only have five days of airing and four shows. So you're talking 20, maybe 60 shows are on television. And now we're at, I don't know, hundreds of shows.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
So do you think it's proportional or something else happened?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I mean, an 18 to 24-year-old female.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay, so when you were at Family Ties, I'm going to ask you some juicy questions. Please. Famously, Leonardo DiCaprio was on Family Ties, right? No, he was on Growing Pains.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, I want to know.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
He was on Family Ties? Okay. Maybe that's who I'm thinking of. And Tom Hanks.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, he did, right? What a gentleman.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Find gift ideas for all ages and at every price point at tcg.pokemon.com slash holiday. We are supported by Netflix. Have you ever found the house of your dreams only to learn it has dark secrets? Netflix's new series, No Good Deed, follows three families vying to buy a 1920s Spanish-style villa that they think will solve their problems. But as the sellers discover...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, it would. Because Alex B. Keaton was a conservative and the dad was liberal. The whole family was liberal.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, that is very interesting. Yeah, no, that was 82 to 87. No, 89. So I was 7 till 12.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I liked Justine Bateman. I liked Alex P. Keaton. Then he was in Back to the Future.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
A few years later, you're on Golden Girls.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You would be privy to one of the great kind of funny debates now that happens with the Golden Girls. A, the Golden Girls is this enormous thing, right? Yes. Like it's had all these different lives. Which is great. And I watched it as a kid. But again, I was seven to 12. They look like grandmas to me.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Now that I'm 50 or closing in on it, everyone points out some of the cast members were in their 40s or 50s.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
So what was the conversation behind closed doors about what age you were going to cast as these grandmothers?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Sam Harris has an enormous.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Right. He became a neurologist. He has a huge podcast, but he has also famously on Bill Maher all the time arguing. He got into hot water arguing Ben Affleck about Islam. He is a very outspoken, provocative, intellectual.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Most people go the other way, by the way. Most people know Sam, and I'll say his mother invented Golden Girl.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, a titan, yeah, in that kind of show.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
So by the time we get to 1990, I guess I'm wondering, so you already pointed out something that happens, which is fascinating. You come in for one thing, you're not right for it. And that's its own thing that actors need to understand.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It took me directing things and casting people to really fundamentally understand what's going on in the room. I wish I would have started directing because it would have taken so much of the pressure off of auditioning. Which is like, you're kind of right or you're wrong. You have some range of talent, but... Exactly. What can happen, which is encouraging, is...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
you as a casting director will go like, well, they're terrible for this role, but they're good. I want to keep a mental note of that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
If you starred in 83, and by the time we get to Fresh Prince, you had seven years of kind of accumulating people that you've liked.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And you don't have a computer, so it's not like you can put all this in a spreadsheet and break it into categories and stuff. So anytime you have a new project on your hands and you've got 13 rolls to cast, how do you keep track of this huge handwritten stack of paper?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Sometimes the home of your dreams can be a total nightmare. I love this show. I got to give a personal stamp of approval. It's so good.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I think the Smithsonian has a whole TV thing to it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, right. Then they definitely do.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah. Every time you're watching something, you're on the lookout for someone that's talented. Does that ruin seeing stuff? Are you too preoccupied?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yes, and it's going fast. And the lights might not even be on yet.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Wow. Okay, so that's one approach is you're paying attention to who's in what. Are you also going to comedy clubs?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It's a gorgeous house. You want to live in it. No Good Deed starring Lisa Kudrow and Ray Romano is now playing only on Netflix.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay, so that's positive because for every Jim Carrey, you're also wading through two or three that are pretty rough and people are bombing. Some people are thinking like, oh, I'd go to a comic show every night.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Insecure and scared. It is, yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay, Whoopi Goldberg. And you put her in the color purple.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Did you get good at delineating who's going to work? Because it's a big leap between standup and acting and it goes very well for some and it goes really bad for others. Do you feel like you got good with your thin slicing or your radar? Was there anything you could tell on stage that was going to be predictive of whether they could do it or not?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
We are supported by Audible. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. This is the one I am most excited to indulge myself with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Well, there's so many good ones on the list.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I love Audible. I swear by Audible. I can't wait to listen to the Orwell 1984 off this list. I'm also doing Fleas by autobiography right now, which I'm obsessed with. I can't get enough Audible in my life every night. Go to audible.com slash DAX and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash DAX. We are supported by Quince.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Many, many people that you would think wouldn't be nervous. Bill Lawrence, who was just here, he's on a million and a half interviews. Very gregarious guy. Yes. You would not think he would be nervous.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash DAX today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com. H-E-L-P dot com slash DAX. I've said it before, but I'll tell you. I had a scene in this movie I directed where Kristen and I are in an off-road race car and we've got to drive through a barn door. And it's a real barn door.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, okay. Look at you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
We're going to break through a barn door. And on the other side, there's ramps that are this wide. And then we're going to jump two cars. And I'm directing, so I'm actually doing the whole thing. And it's dark inside the barn. It's going to be very bright when we crash through the thing. And then I got to hit these little ramps. And we're sitting in the car right before we're about to go.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And the stunt coordinator, my friend DeCastro, goes, how are you doing? I go, I'm good. He goes, how nervous are you? And I go... If stand-up is a 10, I'm at a 4. And that's a real comp for me. Jumping a car over other cars is like 40% as scary as stand-up.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I don't want you to be nervous.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It's just you. And when it goes bad and you know you have another 18 minutes, there's really nothing like it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, big time. That's very true. You might think it's got to be a town of a bunch of people who really thought they were awesome.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay, so by the time you get to Fresh Prince, my question about that is, the show starts with Will Smith?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Right, because he was a producer of that, right?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Uh-huh. Yeah. I had the original eye for Monica. I was the casting director for Monica.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I find that so hard to believe.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I'm blown away that you would remember that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I was going to say, I think his story is, and we're very good friends.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
We stayed very, very close. You want to talk about casting. So I didn't make it through any of the rounds at MTV for Punk'd. I was in a discarded pile of tapes that didn't get advanced to the producers. And Kutcher had seen everyone they had basically circled. And he's like, no one has the vibe. Let me see the people that were rejected. And I was one of the people rejected. So my entire career.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
He had done 70 shows. And he had done Just Married. So he was like newly a movie star.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
So he dug me out. And so, yeah, my gratitude for him is off the charts. But what I wanted to own my baggage with casting directors. You do? I do. I'll tell you why. It's all my insecurity, which was I was auditioning for nine years in commercials and I couldn't get them. I just couldn't book anything. I booked two in nine years. I came to view casting directors as people who didn't get me. Wow.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And she was in our friendship group, but kind of a newer member.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I'm like, they don't get me. I can't get through this layer to anybody. And then the time that I finally did break through, it turned out, if we believe Ashton, I still hadn't gotten through the casting director. So I just had it in my mind, they don't like me. But I have to believe, hopefully, these creators might like me. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yes. I was so insecure. I had been almost a decade. We can eliminate that in the world. I know.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, and I said, that gal's really smart. Like, she's a very smart, interesting person. Every time I talk to her, we argue, and she's a worthy adversary. Then she started babysitting and then full-time nanny, then started working with Kristen, then became Kristen's writer, producer, everything. It was before Good Place. Before Good Place. No, because House of Lies.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I just had it in my mind because I was so insecure that for whatever reason, they don't like me.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I don't think I was stupid enough to be mean.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I don't think I was dumb enough to not be warm. I just really had it in my head. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah. I felt like casting directors knew people I was friends with and no one really knew me and I was so insecure. And so I got it in my mind, I've got to get to the other people.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Somehow I've got to jump over this gate that's in front of me and get to those people. Because, again, when I finally got hired on a TV show, it was from the creator of the show. Oh, yeah. I got such limited data, and I'm telling this huge story based on this very limited data, and I'm completely wrong. And then I come to find out, like, you're saying you liked me.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Well, we talk about them all the time. Like, you know the names of so many casting directors.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
She was so delightful. I was.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, yes, I've hired her. Oh, yes, she's good. I put her in Chips. You sure did. And I put her in the only commercial I ever directed. I love Chips. But I can't do it. Oh, God bless you. Okay. Nobody did.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Curb Your Enthusiasm, 99. You were still on to the end.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You would have had to play yourself on Curb.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I don't think I was famous enough to play myself. And then I was too famous to play.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, you're right. There was this huge talent pool that no one was really looking at.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Suffice to say, Kristen was entirely dependent on Monica, to a degree you can't imagine. Oops. And then we started this, and then it was accidentally very successful, and then I had to say, I'm going to have to steal her full time. And she, of course, was generous.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
There was a great little boom because it was kids in the hall and then the state and then Ben Stiller had a sketch show and then you had Mr. Show.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
A whole new genre. Yes. Yeah, we had Jack Black on and I was telling him, you know, I used to go to the live tapings of that show and it seemed like just the most impenetrable.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Allison Jones. She comes up a bunch over the years. She's helped numerous people in their careers.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I did. Was he in Tie-Dye? Yes.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
So that was going to be one of my questions. Do you get a swell of pride when you see like a Chris Pratt? I do.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You cast Parks and Rack. Yes. If it's not obvious, you're the only casting director we've ever invited in. Oh, thank you. And largely because I have someone who didn't learn about casting directors like Monica did. Mm-hmm. I started noticing, I'm like, this Veep cast is impossible. Who on earth figured out that all these people were this level of brilliance?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And that's why I think Veep when I was like, oh, it's you. And then I was like, oh, and right. And the other impossible cast would have been Parks and Rec. Wow, you did that. And you've had several of those. It's just impossible, the level of collective talent and unknown. And I realized, oh, you're a big, big, big piece of that. Genius.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It's kind of like for me when I realize, oh, John Bryan, the composer, might have as much to do with the Paul Thomas Anderson movies that I like because Eternal Sunshine I also like in the same way and he has composed both. That's like a revelation. Oh, maybe I love John Bryan.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And I love that. Okay, so you do, you get a swell of pride when Chris Pratt. Oh, God, yes.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I guess here's my question. Because Kristen and I were at a hotel once. And he and Annie were there. And we ended up hanging out for three days. I'm like, this guy is so radical. He's so real. He's from Oregon. He was a wrestler.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah. I bet. What does Kristen need to do? Keep on keeping on?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
She's a dramatic actress. She would, and then I always talk her out of it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I don't talk her out of it. I remind her of what life she wants, which is she wants to be at home seeing her kids. She doesn't want to be on location. She wants manageable hours. She wants to know she can drive the kids to school if she wants to. So going away to, you know, Georgia for four months is a down and dirty drama. Yeah, forget the MCU universe for Kristen.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Uh-huh, you cast that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And I'm going to add, and people will be mad about this, comedy is straight up harder than drama.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
There's so many tools that can be employed in a drama to help you. You could have no look on your face and do the perfect push in and the right song.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
There's no cheating a joke. You can't cheat a laugh. You can put a fart noise in or something, but in general, it works or it doesn't work. There's no manipulating it. You can't put the perfect song in all of a sudden. No, of course not.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
They do try. And it's generally generic. Okay. Can you think of some people that you really... went to the mat over that didn't get it, that then turned out to be huge. Do you feel like you've got some great vindicated stories?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, the first two episodes, we were a little, Bill was one of the early ones. He might have even been the one that kind of broke it where I was like, okay, I'm comfortable here. I like this. I can pretend this is my living room. But Allison, this is a great first question. So you have spent the last, I don't know how many years since 82. Are we starting? Oh yeah, we're always rolling.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Can you think of someone that you were like, you just battled and lost?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, you've navigated lots of different eras in this business. Oh, we say it all the time. So if you're working with a director, they're casting their third movie or show and you've cast hundreds. How do you manage not saying like, you're wrong, you're going to have to trust me. This is my expertise.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Uh-huh. You deal with a lot of egos, Zia. Yeah, you do.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I got to tell you this. This is the truth. Generally, I research people and then in the process of researching them, there's some curiosities that kind of surface. I've never sat down and just had questions like I have for you. No, please. Have you developed a radar for who's going to be problematic? Like they might be genius level in the room, but do you think you've gotten good at going?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, this person is talented, but it's not going to be worth the work.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, is that true? So more often you'll hear, don't work with her.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Because she has an opinion.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
What pisses you off the most in the casting process?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh God. Okay. Okay, this is wonderful. You've spent from 82 to 2024. So that's 42 years of watching humans walk into a room with a ton of anxiety. Maybe the peak anxiety they'll have. 83, thank you. 83? Okay, okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah. Okay. What are your thoughts about improvising in an audition?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Which maybe I can't. No. I've kind of gone like this. And again, I'm not giving this advice to any actor at all. I don't think this is a good strategy. Here's what I told myself at some point. I'm like, I'm better if I can make this thing a little bit mine. I'll be different. It might anger you, but I'll be memorable. I've got to be me because this is who you're going to deal with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
So actually, it's a favor for all of us if we find out now.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
there are other people that are much better at this if that's what you want than i am here's the thing i can do well maybe that'll appeal to you or not like at some point i feel like maybe it was just an attempt to get some control over the experience which feels very powerless of like i'm gonna give you what i am and maybe you'll like it maybe you'll hate it yeah i think that's great
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
When they leave, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay, what do you think about coming in character and foregoing the chit-chat?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That makes sense. 41 years. Yeah. Of watching people come in nervous. And I guess maybe the layperson would assume that would inoculate you to nervousness, like you would somehow... No.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It's got to be project specific, right? Drama? Yes. I've come into things. I remember I almost got on True Detective. So I go into that and I'm like, you know what? I want to get to the acting as quickly as possible because I am funny in real life and I'm joyous. And then I don't want to have that huge radical shift.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
For you, I'd rather just come in, be polite and do the thing and let you see that I can be a badass and then leave. But I don't know. I feel like it's project specifically.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
The whole car right there. The lobby is the worst. The lobby is you're listening to other great comedians talk.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yep. She's an award-winning casting director. Just, you know, a few of her impossibly long resume. Barbie, Veep, The Office, Freaks and Geeks, Career Enthusiasm, Parks and Rec.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, you're already nervous, and then you see, these four guys are definitely better than me.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Honest to God. That's gracious.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah. What's the number one mistake you see actors make?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That's what actors do.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You got to be good and you got to be confident because then it won't hurt you, in my opinion. I could see someone going, this is a little scary. I need to know the real person.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah. What percentage of that nervousness for you when you've gotten to that last layer of the audition process? Yeah. Is you rooting for someone that you are championing versus I really want the people that employed me to be very happy with where we've gotten?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay, what's the hardest role you've ever had to cast? Meaning you read the most amount of people and traveled the greatest distance. McLevin. Oh, really?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And they knocked me out. We heard he was a casting assistant.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a million questions about exactly that coming later. But I want to start in Massachusetts. I have a hard time saying it, but you grew up in a Boston suburb. I did. Needham, Massachusetts. And what did mom and dad do?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Well, I mentioned a new thing. This wasn't one of my questions, but it just occurred to me talking about technology. Clearly now a big driver of who gets cast is like what their following is. Not in what I work on.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
How about this? What percentage of the roles on the shows and movies that you're casting already have stars attached?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Right. We got Dax Shepard. Right. Well, let's not play it too fast and loose. We got Monica Padman and Dax Shepard. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yes. So what is your preference? Do you like to start with a clean slate or do you like that? Oh, I'd love to start with a clean slate. The Office, we started with a clean slate. And would you prefer to break unknowns? In comedy, for sure. It's got to be more rewarding for you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Have you had people who you know are so talented and you've seen them be so talented and they just can't audition? Oh, plenty, especially in comedy. Yeah. And is it heartbreaking?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, I got to say one of the, I think, more difficult things about this job is I don't know how good Daniel Day-Lewis is as an auditioner.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
He probably would be. It's a different skill set. It's almost the closest they'll get to stand up.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And do you have siblings? Oh, no, I know this. You're the second youngest of six. I am.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Well, okay, so let's talk about Once Upon a Time. I gotta say, in the last 10 years, the performance that has blown my mind more than any other, and I watch the movie all the time, is Once Upon a Time. Leonardo DiCaprio in that movie is so next level. I don't think people are recognizing that he's playing three levels of actor.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
He is an actor, playing an actor, who's okay sometimes, and then he has a moment where he's great. Exactly. But he's not as great as Leonardo DiCaprio can be great. Yeah. He's as great as that actor can be. When you see what's going on in that scene and what he's having to juggle, it's so impressive.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Boys, girls? Three boys, three girls. How wonderful of your mother to nail it like that, the ratio.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Well, Alison Jones, this has been such a delight. And a delight for me. I could talk to you guys for hours. Oh, same. You're the best. You're so sweet and wonderful. Well, I guess my single last question is, you refuted my claim of 42 years, but it is 41 years. It might be 41 and a half, but just say 41. How on earth have you kept your stamina to stay hungry? And your job is so hard.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
The hours are so crazy. How have you stayed hungry and dialed in?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You're like a doctor that has to do managed care now with an insurance provider. Exactly. Yeah. Perfect.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, we're super honored that you could chat with us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, then you're missing out on that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, it's literally the same. Fuck, I forgot one question I want to answer. This is a nosy question.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
When you have a track record like yours and someone wants to cast a comedy, starting with you is like starting with Jimmy Burroughs. Thank you. Do you get to participate ever? In the success of a show? No, and I wish I had.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I feel like you should be a participant with your level. You should be so rich.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It's kind of like when you're a director of a TV show, you get the DGA minimum. It doesn't matter if you've had a great career. Now, if you're Burroughs, you can obviously negotiate ownership of the show to do the pilot.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, oh my God. Warner bought the fucking Red Sox. Yeah, I know, I know. Yeah. Although again, that too has changed. What do you mean? It's changed. Well, Seinfeld would sell into a cycle of syndication for $800 million. And in the streaming world, none of these shows that have been on the air for six years get sold into syndication. People don't get, like Mike Schur, one of my questions.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I said, Mike, do you ever lament the fact that if you had the exact same career you had in the 80s and 90s, you would have $800 million? He goes, yeah, I think about that a lot.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay, well, Allison, I look forward to seeing you again. We adore you. This has been so fun. I'm so glad you agreed to do it. And I hope your nerves dissipated.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I'm one of three. You're allowed to ask as many questions as you want.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You're definitely getting called back to producers. I can tell you in the room.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I think he's a, I don't know what the word is.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I was going to say fighter. That's not right. I don't, clinger. Like maybe he's, because I wouldn't call a sloth a fighter.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
By God, can they hang upside down indefinitely?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That is true. So maybe he's sloth-like?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And for the holiday.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
What is that thing, Monica? Is that a person or a reindeer or a ram?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Those horns should be kind of informative, I guess.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Is this a big old reindeer with two big horns?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Are those his ears or hers? I shouldn't genderize.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I see some metal antennas. I thought those were reindeer horns.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yep, and to put it on the very top made it leave frame.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, he's almost summited that tree. He's a he. Yeah, let's call it what it is.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay, so we just scrambled, right? Because we're setting up for the holiday episode.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It's a bonus extra episode. Yes. On the 20th.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That's the 20th is when it's coming.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Of course, it's going to be everywhere.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, big time. You're going to have some A-list singers dropping through. Going to have some present reveals. Going to have a lot of decor. This is only a taste of what Wobby Wob's got more stuff planned. As he does. This tree has been stolen from my daughter's room. So I had a really great meditation this morning.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It's been a long time since I had a great one.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I think what adds up to it is like, can I stop ruminating? Can I not think... about our employers during my meditation. Can I achieve that goal?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And so I got kind of, I took a different tactic with my mantra a little bit, which was no one's, and we don't need to get this in detail, but I was just literally like, say, you have to say the mantra five times and just concentrating with some limited thing. Then I could buy myself five more. All to say, when it's really great, I... Lose a sense of my body, which is really fun.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Like I know how I'm sitting, but I can't really feel my hands or my legs anymore. I can tell them to kind of detach from my body. And then I'll often get blasts of light. I'll start seeing like lights in my, there's a word for this in TM, but I don't know what it is. I've heard Howard talking about it. But I'll get some light activity in my detached state from my body.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And anyways, when I came out of it, and that's why I'm telling you about it, is when it ended, all by myself in my room, I said, hey, y'all, really great meditation. Wow.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It was. That's great. That's the power of TM. It opened up my creative channels enough to go, hey, y'all, really great meditation.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And then I thought, of course, need to have an app that just at the end of your thing, you hear... Hey, y'all, really great meditation.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, man, I'm afraid to even think about that. I mean, I know I've gotten a bunch and I've certainly forgotten people and it's going to...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
As much as I love, this is my holiday, as you know. It's my favorite. God, do I cherish every day of it. In fact, I hate that it's coming.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I hate that there'll be a day where it ends.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And so the girls will be like, they're in a hurry. And I'm like, no, no, no, guys, just pump the brakes.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Enjoy. It's so much more fun anticipating it. But the only part I can't stand about it is the test of your love for others by how thoughtful your gift was. And then I was thinking, I got a little cynical for a minute. I was like, they really got us with this racket. I mean, what an incredible racket.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
For consumerism. It's like, you have to go buy something for everyone you care about. Yeah. That's the rules. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah. What if at Christmas morning, everyone sat around and you go, I thought about you. Like that was the president.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Well, that'd be like the Grinch who stole Christmas. Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You know this. This is a blast from the past. But Crosby's houseboat, which was in Sausalito Harbor in real life.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
The first time we ever shot on it, it was an actual boat. And then it, of course, was on a soundstage down here. But it was originally in Sausalito. Two boats over from Crosby's boat was Dr. Seuss's boat. He had a houseboat in Sausalito.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It was still his boat. I guess it was his wife's at that point.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
She was in 2000, but whatever year we filmed the pilot. Wobby Wob, give us a update on Mrs. Seuss.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, okay. Died in 2018. Yeah, that's way after we shot. Another blast from the past. Are you ready for this? Yes. Some scholarly detective armchairy. A lot of people don't know this whole thing because they came in at COVID. My endless fucking thing about the American soldiers getting the English women pregnant during World War II.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
They found the book I'm talking about. You know who wrote it? Dr. Seuss. Dr. Seuss. No, Margaret Mead. That's a Margaret Mead book. It's almost impossible to get. There's like five libraries in the country. What's it called? I could tell you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Tell you right frigging now. But not only am I not insane that I imagined that whole thing, it's Margaret Mead, godmother of anthro. It's called The American Troops and the British Community, an examination of the relationship between the American troops and the British by Margaret Mead.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay. Her conclusion was culturally in America, women have the brake pedal, men have the gas pedal. But in England, men have the brake pedal, women have the gas pedal. You get a couple of folks with a gas pedal. I had an anecdotal experience with a gal.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Who I adore. Yeah. What a gift. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Well, I remember it as being like 50-50, but... Oh, okay. But in my pursuit of figuring out what the hell I had read, of course, I stumbled upon a bunch of other academic papers on this same topic, because there's this huge term, war babies. There was like this, yeah. And so one of the theories or conclusions was, Another element is that in America, kissing's nothing. Anyone will kiss.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
any impossibly great comedic ensemble where you're like where did they find all these geniuses it's almost always going to be Allison Jones it is it's her track record is so insane and it goes so far back I didn't realize that it was fun to learn about like the early yes
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You kiss on a first date, whatever. But that in the steps of progression in England in 1942, kissing was very far down the road. You would have held hands. You would have done all this other stuff. Like, I guess kissing was like, you're there. If you've committed to kissing, you're pretty much committed to banging.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And so there was some miscommunication there where the American GIs were like, let me put one on you. And then those gals were like, oh, my God, this is what I think we're going to have. Oh, wow. Sexual intercourse. This is so intimate. Not as intimate as holding hands.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That would be so weird to be dating you, head of made out, rolled around, lots of sex, go to grab your hand and you always pull it away. That would be freaky.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, yeah. Like high school cheerleader. Were they Irish twins?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, like let's do anal, but let's not do this. Way too intimate. Way too intimate. Where do you think that stems from?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Grab that hand when it's time to propose. I hold hands on the ride to school every morning.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
If I'm in the car with them and they're in the front seat, we're holding hands.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Handholding is very nice.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Very intimate for you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Right. And so you what I'm grateful for is you have experienced how I mostly experience buying presents. I hope they like this. This will do. They'll know I thought of them.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Sure, you got good taste.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I've already had some mix-ups. Okay. So use your gift guide. Everyone should.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
The only thing I could get is when I'd be on the website and then I'd start sniffing around for other items. Sure. Those glasses, those adorable glasses, which they didn't have the first time I was at that website.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It took like a season, maybe. I think so.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Then I was there for some other business. So anyways, I sent them to my sister-in-law.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And they arrived and they just opened up the box and then she sends me a text. I like these. I'm like, how could you have thought? You didn't have to wait till Christmas. But it's not her fault. It's not her fault. Slow down. Slow down, Dax. She goes, oh my God, I'm so, your brother feels terrible. So what happened was the box came, my brother just opened it. Of course.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Did you have fantasies about show business as a kid? Or how did this all come to be? How did you end up at Pomona College?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
He knows I didn't get him a fucking set of glasses.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
So he just like, thanks, got you these glasses. But clearly it's Christmas. You want to hear the gross thing I did too? Yeah, what'd you do? So she's like, oh, I like them. And then I'm like, I need her to know they're not kids. I didn't get those at McDonald's. I didn't get them at a fast food restaurant. I'm like, so I respond. Yeah, those are Monica's fancy glasses. Like I enlisted you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I was like, yeah, she'll she knows if I said these are Monica's, she's going to go like, oh, he spoiled me.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Is that store not in America?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay, great. So this is a grievance I have. I went nuts there. And they use DHL, which I guarantee is a phenomenal service. This is no shade DHL, but I think it must work easier in Europe.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
This is a ton of texts and it just standard as a signature. No.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Fucking standards, no signature guys, unless I say signature. So then I got to go every single item I bought from that place, which is a lot. I had to go and fill out the forms to make sure that they could be left on the porch. But after, but I have my texts from DHL. I probably have 40 texts from DHL in the last week. And every time I think now, no, this one's just an update.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It's not the consent form for the no signature. I already did that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Listen to my complaints in life.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I just got completely ashamed of my complaints in life. Like we live in an era where I can see something that's gorgeous and then it'll arrive somewhere and I'm like so flummoxed by it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I had to click my phone twice. It's true.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
To it being quicker and quicker and quicker and easier and easier.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And like, it's about time, like actually frustrated.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, when I try to explain to the kids that like, yeah, I had a cassette tape. It was 60 minutes long. If I want to listen to my favorite song over and over again, I had to rewind forever. And then who knows where you land?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You can't land on your song.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You're always going to be listening to the back half of a song you don't want to listen to.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You're in all black today.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, very smart outfit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I don't want to do this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Let me guess. Your shoes and socks aren't white. They're titanium white.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I'm ensnared in it. Here we go. There's no way those are navy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I can't sit here and have you saying those are navy. It's the same color as your shirt. On the TV, it kind of looks navy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You have something on Rob. You both have great points. I think it could be both.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay. I would prefer you go like. these aren't Navy. That's the kind of reaction.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You don't think that's funny?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Right, it was like big surf culture.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Well, unfortunately, that's actually the script supervisor's job, which is so unfair because they don't give a fuck what you say.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Those are pretty substantively different. No, they're not. I think so. I think so.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That's really good. You sold it this time. So I'll try that. I'll do one your way and then you pick in the edit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That's kind of a new read on it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It was like an acting exercise. I didn't want to do exactly how you did.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, didn't I? No, I was doing yours.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That's lunch, everybody.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I like the idea of that Rob leaves for lunch.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
A baby pun. A behavioral pun.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Back to why you're in all black. No real reason, just that's your outfit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, yeah. Dressed to impress. Dressed to impress.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Why did you look down at your.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, okay. I go, dressed to impress, and you go. This is my outfit. I'm just repeating what just actually happened. We could rewind the tape.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Tell me I dressed to impress you. Even though you know where it's going.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Wouldn't that be a wild...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if that was inappropriate. Anyway. Anywho. I know where we were at. Really great meditation.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Good, me too. I watched A Christmas Story last night.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And I was like, why don't they, they know good shit. Why are they acting like they don't like this movie? I really couldn't accept it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And then I was watching it and they weren't there. And I was like, yeah, it's probably a little slow for them.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I could admit that. And it made me very nostalgic for back when there was like a downtown and it was decorated. Because when I was a kid, Detroit still had like, Hudson's did a big Christmas display. You could go meet Santa and you go to Saunders Ice Cream and have a cream puff. And it was a whole thing. There was a, there was a parade and then Cobble Hall had this thing and.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You know, that opening shot where they go, it's a wide, it's in Cleveland in the 50s. Higby's, you remember? Their department store was Higby's and it was lit up beautifully and a really great window display with train sets. It made me so nostalgic and sad.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah. And you know what? Instead of like trying to get my kids to like it, what I do, I go, oh, my father-in-law was born in Cleveland and this is the era of his childhood. So I'm like, hey, do you love a Christmas story? He's like, who doesn't? I go, yeah, but you particularly, you grew up in Cleveland. And then he was like, is it set in Cleveland? Then he sent me this whole thing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
He's like, oh my God, you're right. Higby's. I used to go to Higby's every, and then he had a whole story about Higby's.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Because it's slow and boring. It's not a good movie. No, it's so good. And Ralphie, if anyone's going to, has yet to watch it and they're still going to watch it. What I want people to dial in most specific, the cutest thing he does, Peter Billingsley, i.e. Ralphie, his tongue is so busy in that movie. And it is one of the cutest things I've ever seen.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Like when he's doing the decoder ring and he's like, hey Ralphie. And they know it, too, because all of a sudden you just go to an extreme close up of his little mouth with that little tongue darting around. And anytime he's reading out loud or he's thinking he's in front of his class, he's like having this fantasy that his teacher loved his essay. And she's on the chalkboard, right?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You just had seen it on TV.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
A plus, A plus. And they go to him and he's just wistfully thinking of this. He's like, his little tongue is darting around his face. Oh, is it cute?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
No, he's impossibly good for a nine-year-old in that movie. It's crazy how good he is. But just any time he's thinking. The Shepherds, we stick our tongue out when we're concentrating really hard. You do? You've not noticed that? I don't have it quite as bad as my dad and my brother and my uncle. But yeah, if I'm really going after something, my tongue comes out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I didn't have access to it unless I was at my dad's every other weekend or whatever, once a month. Because we lived kind of out in the sticks. We didn't have a good antenna. I had to go to a friend's house if I wanted to watch Dukes of Hazzard. But when I was at my dad's, my brother and I, all we did from the second we got up until three in the morning.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And we all do it. Yeah. So his just seemed like the thing he does when he's like distracted.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
This would be out all of a sudden.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Like I'm expressing like, like I want to.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
This is going to become an inappropriate fact check. And I want to apologize to the Christmas listeners.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Because of my previous thing about you going like this. And then now I'm just going like, like, hey, look, all of a sudden that looked kind of inappropriate. And I just want to clean it up for the holidays.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah. It's great for singles and couples, not people with children. It's all about children for us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Your days of having sex by the fire are completely over the day your first kid arrives. What about if they're asleep? You can't fucking run the, why not fuck on the island in the kitchen?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
No way. Rob, are you and Natalie fucking in the open house at all? No, never.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Do you ever jerk off in front of that fireplace with no one's home? You know the thing I hate that I can't not think of, and I don't know if this is urban legend or real, but allegedly, rumor, urban legend, little boy who puts his tongue on the pole, gets his stuck to the pole, he did a porno when he grew up.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It's because of that. But I don't like that I'm watching this movie and all I can think of is this little boy grows up and does a porno. Which, by the way, it's fine if you do pornos. I don't even know why it's – I don't care if you've done a porno.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
But I don't think when people go into movie acting, their goal is to then graduate to pornos. I think you probably come out here to do movies, you start in pornos, and maybe you graduate. Right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Detroit. Oh, Detroit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Right. Unless it's a dad and a son. He's like, boy, I hope you find your way over to pornos.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Let me ask you this. Now, this one I know is real. Double check, Rob, so I don't get sued. But I do believe Screech was in an adult film.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, yeah. And Atlanta.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah. And does it impact when you're watching Saved by the Bell? Are you thinking like...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That he did a porno.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Again, like it's not what they were wanting or aiming to do and that maybe they were in financial straits and then people knew that they would be a draw. It doesn't, it sounds like someone maybe compromised. Well, he put it out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
What a classy title. It's, I'm lucky I never ended up in one. I mean, let's be honest. I was unemployed for nine years. Oh no. And I was, you know, I was a party animal. I could have ended up in one. And boy, God.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I mean, I don't know. You're somewhere. You're drunk. You meet like six porn stars at a thing. Everyone's having fun.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You got no money. You like having sex.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I'm just saying that I'm lucky that never happened is what I'm saying.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
How dare you ask that question in public?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Have I ever filmed myself?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I had to really think about that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I think I've run some video on, you know... But I don't want to say anything because it's not... I don't want to say... Who?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yes, but I think I've run some video on some nudity in my day.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Did I ever set up a tripod?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Well, you got your video camera out and you're like shooting in your thing and then your girlfriend's naked and then you film her because you want to look at it later at some point.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I think that's awesome. They're having fun.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Like most married couples with household children do.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Smorgasbord of offerings.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
This is our last new interview of the year. How about that?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And it was a great year. It was a great year.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Closed really strong.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay. So I saw a comment yesterday.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That was like, when is Monica going to talk about Pantone? They were like nervous and worried.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Is it the color of your skin?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
There's a lot of shades of brown.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Modest mousse? What's it called?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Mocha mousse. It's not as dark as yours, so... I'm doing tongue-in-cheek. This is the holidays.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That they brown mouse, brown mouse.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That is a good omen. It's going to be an incredible year.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
What do you do with that color? Are you ordering items now in that color? Like, do you adjust anything in your life?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
OK, so that's one thing. That's an actionable step.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay, there's nothing else. It's not like when they announced this color, are there collaborations where now different companies you can order the Pantone?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Do you know what I would call that color? And again, I know this is xenophobic. It's not really, but nude. That color just looks like nude to me, like nude before they got wise to that's not what everyone looks like nude, but nude undergarments. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's almost like a peach.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That's this year? That's not Moose Knuckle?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh. I thought you already had it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
See, that's exactly what I'm talking about.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, the one you're holding up looks very nude.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Light brown person. Colorism. It's even, it's even.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay. That, yeah. Wait, hold that up again. Now it looks darker. Oh, this is much. What has happened? Are you sure? I think you might've held up the pink.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Something goes, zoom out. It's like 10 shades darker. That's your, almost your skin color.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Could it have quadrupled since the last time you Googled it?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
All right. Let's just say the last time you looked at it up, it was 22 grand a year.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Who knows? But I... Just go there and then find out. When you get the bill, tell us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That's crazy. Still adjusting to that info.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Because you're an Anne Hathaway super fan?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Right, from your Shakespearean knowledge.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
We need to interview her to get to the bottom of whether or not that was intentional or not.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It would kind of confirm the story I've made up about her in my head. Okay. Which I feel like she was just born to be an actor. Oh. Like, I feel like she's probably been acting since she was one years old.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Okay. Is that her real age? No, I didn't see it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Please, Anne. Even if the interview's 30 seconds and you tell us whether that was intentional or not, we'll take what we can get.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
yeah really really cool and then just a sweetheart love her so please enjoy allison jones we are supported by pokemon and their incredible pokemon trading card game the pokemon trading card game is a gift this holiday season that will delight gamers collectors and pokemon fans alike parents maybe you grew up collecting pokemon or watching the show on saturday mornings well i'm
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I'll dress up as Bill Shakespeare.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You are so mean to people of color. And I'm here to be an advocate and an ally.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I am very disappointed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so when you get to Pomona, is this true that at Pomona, you find kind of a comedy geek culture?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
No, you'll be a moose knuckle. Pantone moose knuckle.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Oh my, so many good things. Very even age number for me. I love that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Brown mouse for you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It's a quarter of a century.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah, because I was born in 75.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Now they run the world. Now they run the world. Yeah, remember Revenge of the Nerds was like this preposterous scenario where the nerds would defeat the jocks and now the world is.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah. So you had a visual arts major there. And what was your goal with that?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
You're inching your way towards LA.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
For people who don't know, Pomona is like 60 miles out and Glendora is like 35 miles out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Yeah. So you leave there. How on earth do you end up at Family Ties as a casting director?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Buy some time and get a job, yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
I totally think that's true because even when I graduated in 2000, all in was $3,800 a year.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
People were still smoking and drinking all day long?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Your friend is like your guidance counselor. She is my guidance counselor.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
It's a bonding. It was a total bonding thing. It's like friendships forged in war.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
Do you remember what about the casting process interested you?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
How fun would it be to bond with your kids over Mewtwo's psychic prowess? Or how Pokemon can evolve from a cute Charmander to a fiery flying Charizard? Games are such a great way to get the whole family together. And if you don't already know how to play, no worries, because it only takes minutes to learn. Plus, Pokemon cards are not just fun to play with, they're also a joy to collect.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
That's why I think this episode will be so fascinating because you just are presented with this show. You're very far removed from Hollywood. In the best case scenario, you're just buying into the notion these are real kids in high school in Beverly Hills, 90210. You're not even considering, oh, that's an actor and...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Allison Jones (Award-Winning Casting Director)
And the notion that there's a whole rung of this industry that's in charge of scouting, finding and getting those people in.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert, Experts on Expert. I'm Dan Rather, and I'm joined by Modest Mouse. Hi. Hello. I've been talking about this book quite a bit over the last six months, The World's I See, Curiosity, Exploration, and Discovery at the Dawn of A.I., by Dr. Fei-Fei Li. She is an expert on computer vision, machine learning, and cognitive and computational neuroscience.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
A lot of Opportunity is happening as promised, and then a lot of xenophobia and violence is happening.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I don't know if you would rank these things in your life of like serendipitous things happening. But meeting Mr. Sabella has to be minimally in the top 10 and I would hope in the top three.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, if the spirit moves you to lay down supine. You're invited to do so.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, I find this to be one of the sweetest stories I've ever read about and kind of makes me hopeful for people how generous they can be. But in a nutshell, minimally, you're thinking I'm going to do good at math. I don't have to go to my dictionary back and forth like I do in every other class. And you're in math and you're getting problems wrong.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And you yourself cannot identify any pattern in this. You don't know what's going on. And you go to see Mr. Sabella in his office.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
That they had gotten at a garage sale. Her father loves garage sales. It was his favorite thing in the world.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
He still does. He still does.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
What time did you wake up?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You asked about extra credit and he was like, get real. How about go to good grade on the test?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
But it sounds in the retelling like the breakthrough. And I think this scene would be in a movie if I were writing the movie. You're there. He discovers the tan symbol on your calculator is malfunctioning. He helps her figure this out because he too can't figure out the pattern of all these errors.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And then somehow you guys start talking about books and he asks if you've read a certain science fiction writer. You try to tell him you haven't read that one, but you really love A Million Kilometers Under the Sea. You can't translate it. You can't pronounce Jules Verne. But he figures out you've read Jules Verne.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
What time do you normally rise?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And he is like shook. He's like, you've read Jules Verne?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And then you go on to say, yes, and you've read Hemingway and you've read everything.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
If I were him and this young girl from China comes in and she has read most of the classics, that's a real like, what am I dealing with here? I got to imagine for him, at least that was a moment where he's like, OK, I'm betting on this horse.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Mine's 6.40. Oh, okay. I'm aspiring. But you know what's funny? Today it was 6.20.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, I think he's struggling with the same issue you're struggling with. Probably. You don't feel entitled to tell this story.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, they're very unsung heroes. They're not tenured professors at elite universities.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And they're the ones that get the people to those destinations. Yeah. It's a really beautiful story. How instrumental was he in you finding your way to Princeton?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Girl, girl. Yes, I'm so lucky. Although 11 about to be 12, I'm starting to get an inkling of what's coming my way. In a house with three ladies. In fact, yesterday was a very emotional day. I'm barely hanging on.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I think you're underplaying your story. If you came here in seventh grade and ended up at Princeton, that's one story. You had two years to get yourself ready. To learn English. To start Princeton. And you didn't speak any English. You're very much under, which is fine. I think so would your teacher. Yeah, you feel maybe that's self-indulgent or something, but that's really bonkers.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Again, AI aside, to land and go, okay, if you drop me in Russia and told me I have two years to land at their most elite university.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen for 99.999% of people. Let's talk for a second about you going to Princeton. This is another fun moment for me in the book because there's something so much more important about Einstein than the theory of special relativity. And I can't really articulate what it is, but I know you have a good dose of it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So what was it like going there and seeing the statue of Albert Einstein and imagining that you would in some way be touching that reality?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Garage sales, free.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You're working a ton of hours.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Well, don't you think it left an imaginary world where this person existed and it put it in your own three-dimensional reality?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And he lived there for what, 30 some years?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Maybe more. I think that would be a special moment as well.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yep, yep. Talking with Oppenheimer.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I don't know what's going on with my three ladies, but all of them are in some kind of hormonal turmoil. Interesting. And every variety, which is fun.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I'm currently stuck in a rut where I'm learning a lot about physicists, historical physicists. And I'm wondering, have you read When We Cease to Understand the World? Have you read that book?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Or have you read The Maniac? Either of those? No. The Maniac's all about Janusz von Neumann.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
This one's fun because it has the perspective of a million different people in his life. Like a student he was friends with at school, one of his wives, people who worked with him, and you get this really comprehensive view of
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, I'm obsessed with all these guys. And then when we cease to understand the world is many of these physicists who were so brilliant at a time who ultimately became crazy. And how many of their breakthroughs in the math of quantum mechanics coming to this guy in a nine day, 106 degree fever, writing down the matrices and not understanding the math when he comes out of it, but it holds.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
There's a lot of weird magic in this space, I think. Where people have these breakthrough thoughts and they touch some understanding and they're in a compromised state mentally. It's just fascinating to me.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're always recording.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
All those stories of him getting asked a question and then answering it two and a half days later, and he hasn't left the chair and the person left. Like he went away for two and a half days and then came back with the answer. Or just the notion, I think one of the most intriguing parts is like, you're going to have thoughts that cannot be expressed in language, but can only exist in math.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
That already is like, what?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Right. And then there's a realm beyond math. Yes. It's the closest thing I think we have to magic where it's like completely outside of our grasp, but for a handful of people.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So you're at Princeton. You're also working a ton, right?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
When do your parents start the dry cleaner?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Okay, so you have 12 and 8, and are they close? They're very close. He's a good big brother? He totally is.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Because your mother had had a reoccurring fever as a child and it greatly degenerated some of her heart valves. So she was really struggling with heart issues.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And there's no money in the dry cleaning. There's only money in the seamstress scene, whatever we call it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Silvio's your husband, yeah?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
She should have done what you did.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And does one of them have Silvio's personality and one have yours?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I think a chimp can do that. Thank you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I say that because I know how to remove stitches from garments. And I don't have more skills than a chimp.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
He said he didn't go to a single party.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Instead of the freshman 10, you gained the 30 10. Yeah, exactly. The faculty 10.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And I think it's worth mentioning when you guys were trying to open that dry cleaners, you were trying to raise $100,000 and you were $20,000 short. And again, Mr. Sabella. Monica. He gave the money.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
It's impossible that someone would do that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Well, you're here because I read your book maybe two months ago. I was having dinner with Ashton Kutcher. Do you know who that actor is?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Of course, you have to give it thinking you'll never get it back. I guarantee he and his wife were like, we're giving this money away.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Oh, my God. How proud I'd be of my dad. Okay, so you graduate from Princeton and you have a degree in physics as well, some kind of computational.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And when you're there, unless I'm misremembering, you had a very singular focus on being a physicist. But while you're there, you start realizing you're maybe open to something different.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
It was an identity.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. So we were at dinner and we were just chatting about people we thought were really interesting. And then he asked me if I had read your book and I hadn't. I went into it thinking I would get a history lesson on AI, which I did. And a very thorough one. But I would not have invited you for that. Your life story is so interesting and beautiful and the way you write about it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, understanding how this brain works. Brain works, intelligence works. It's crazy the overlap that has now been proven. But at that time, that's not an obvious, we haven't figured out neural pathways and we're not going to map that onto computers yet. So these seem on the surface, very different fields. One's biology and one is, you know.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Right. OK, so then you choose Caltech to go to graduate school. Yes. What did you think of California? I mean, my God, what a place, right?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
She is a computer science professor at Stanford University and founding director of Stanford Institute for Human-Centered Artificial Intelligence. So we've had a lot of AI, but I'll say that this, what makes this episode so special is Dr. Fei-Fei Li's personal story is so-
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Tell me about North Star and how you discovered yours, because this happens at Caltech.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You're an incredible writer.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Millions and millions of objects.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Okay, that's very big of you. Who's Alex?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. OK, so now I think is a great point to just go through a couple of the landmark events that take us to where the technology is at that time. So I guess we could start with Turing. We could start in 1956. Give us a couple of things that have happened in computing up to that point.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Now that I have people hooked into you as an individual, now we can get a little protein in this and learn some stuff.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
DARPA funded it or something?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I think we could get even more rudimentary, right? So up until that point, a computer was something that could solve a problem. It could do computations.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And this notion of artificial intelligence, what it really meant is, could we ever ask a computer questions that it hadn't been pre-programmed to answer? What are the hallmark things that separated at that time artificial intelligence from just computing?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Because I think we've just fast forwarded to everyone saying AI, and I don't think they really even take a second to think of what that step is between computing and computation and thinking.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Right. Without having been programmed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
How do you know Alex?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, yeah, about image, how hard it is for a computer to see.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
That's a mouse I'm seeing if I'm a cat.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And I think this could be a bad analogy, but you might be misled to think, oh, well, a camera can take a picture and then the computer can show the picture. So the computer understands that's a photo. But really, the camera has broken what it's seen into thousands of pixels. They are coded with a numerical sequence. The computer reconstructs those colors. It's a grid.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Because he worked with Ted in some capacity?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And virtually, that's what our eyes do. Our eyes are just grabbing photons and they're sending back the ones and zeros. And then back here in the cortex, it's assembling it all.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And as you point out in the book, it took us 540 million years of evolution to get this system.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You build one algorithm at the bottom that's maybe generic.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Could you think of it as almost a filtration device, which is like this data comes in, we filter out these three key points, that then filters up, and then we come to our conclusion at the top of this hierarchy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Because it's just like all this raw info at the bottom, and then we kind of recombine it into this layer, and then another process filters, well, it's not a school bus, it's not this. Right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Okay, great. So, and now also when you find your North Star, another thing that's happening at the same time is WordNet, right? This is kind of a big breakthrough for early AI.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You're kind of creative partners.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Animal, food, furniture. German Shepherd. Transportation.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Does WordNet not lead to the machine that can read the zip codes? No. It doesn't. What's that called? That's what I meant to bring up.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
That's happening as you're getting your idea about the images right. We've trained a machine to read zip codes, basically, handwritten zip codes.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
But its data set was, I forget, it was like a thousand or something.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. Which one do you find more exhaustive?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, and common mistakes, they would feed it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
What they had proved in concept, you're going to try to do in images, but the lift for images is so exponentially larger than getting the machine to read.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
By a factor of what? I mean, when you lay out what it's going to take for you to prove this theory you have and you figure out how long it's going to take, it's going to take like a decade of you feeding them, right? There's some moment where the amount of images you're going to have to feed this computer to train it can't almost be done by the group of you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Both in different ways.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And you wrangled someone in that this wasn't even really their North Star.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
This level of plotting that you were able to take on Is unique to you. And I think it's moving here in 10th grade and looking at that fucking dictionary back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. That kind of really unique dedication and unwavering plotting.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
A million other scientists could have had your idea, but I think it's that thing right there that makes you capable of creating image.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, it's not. I think we like to think of these things very simplistically, like, oh, you had a great idea. Who gives a shit? A lot of people had great ideas in graduate school.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Someone's like, that was my idea. Oh, really? Did you write the script? Did you execute it? Did you cast it correctly? Did you motivate everyone? Your idea is 1% of the equation of a great movie.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Because when I'm reading your thing and the data's coming in, it feels like, and tell me if I'm mischaracterizing it, the deeper you got into this experience, you were just learning every day it was going to be harder than you originally anticipated. It just kept getting worse and worse and worse and worse for years, right?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
When I'm reading it, I'm like, I would have quit a trillion times. I'd be like, maybe computing will get to a point where this job will be made easy, but right now it's too hard.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
That's what I want to start with because I'm curious when you sat down with Alex, I'm sure the historical part, the scientific part, that stuff is probably easy. But had you ever told your life story to anyone in that detail?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Naivete is the best asset you can have.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, it's a great gift.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
A marketplace for that computer labor.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, that cut this process down by 80% or something.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
They're years down the path and they're calculating how much further it's going to be. And they know they have years and years ahead until this moment.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So to fast forward to the end, you create ImageNet and you can feed in a picture of a boy petting an elephant. And the computer knows that's a boy and that's an elephant. Might be a different size than the other elephant I saw, but I know that's an elephant. And this is huge. This earns you the title of godmother of AI. I know you don't have to comment. I know you don't want that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. Do you think that's a personal disposition or where you come from culturally? I think of the story of your father, which we'll get to, and how little he told you about his own childhood until the time was right. And I gleaned from that, well, this isn't a culture that is just divulging all this emotional trauma and baggage.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And I want to fast forward. Now, you've accomplished this incredible thing. You teach at Princeton for a while, as you say, and then you take up a teaching position at Stanford where you still currently are. You become one of these people that undergrads would then study about, which is fascinating. And you go to work for Google during a sabbatical for like a year and a half.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And there's a moment where part of your job is to go meet with the new recruits that are going to start their employment at Google. Is it fair to say this is one of your, I don't want to call it a crisis of conscience because that would be too strong, but how would you say it? You have an opportunity to talk to those people, and it sounds to me like you went rogue a little bit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Uh-huh. Let's remind people. So Cambridge Analytica figured out how to maximize Facebook politically, and people were very upset by that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
But I do want to point out, because I heard you point it out, which is in the early advancements, they had all these peaks and valleys AI. And there was a moment in the 70s where it looked promising. And immediately people went to robots were going to take over the world. So we also do have this immediate sense. We do jump to that. They jumped to it in the 70s. It's worth pointing out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
We sell fear and excitement.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, they had taken a contract to develop some drone phase recognition stuff. And the people at Google were told that they were only working on nonprofit stuff. There was a bit of a revolt. You were there during all that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, they're all benign. It's how we implement all that. Neutral, there we go.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And is this the first time you articulate that you want a human-centered development of AI?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So let's parallel your speech to the interns and then also getting to go in front of Congress. So what is your overarching sense of how we keep this technology going in a direction that does serve humans?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So what are the practical things we do? What are the legislative things? What does that mean? How do we do that?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And are you bringing in philosophers and anthropologists and psychologists? This is the interdisciplinary aspect.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So if I play out that experiment, it's like, yes, I would love to take my phone, scan my face and know if I have a melanoma. That's all sounds great. Where does the results of that get stored? Does my insurance provider have access to that? What all happens? It's not just me that's going to find out I have this melanoma.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Will it disproportionately help some group and alienate another?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. Universities can't really compete.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. Like that's always been the good corrective mechanism we've had societally is the world of academia. And it competed pretty robustly with any private sector.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
It means the fact that people can land in this country, not speaking English, deep into school and fucking pick it all up and then master all these fields.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So all of this, I'm always on board with. I love it. I'm so grateful there's people like you pushing us in that direction. But we just had Yuval Harari on to talk about his take on it. And what I ultimately get so discouraged and defeated by is we're not doing this on an island. We're doing this while many other countries do this simultaneously.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So how do you see us dealing with the competitive nature of these AI technologies emerging and us maybe proposing we're going to do it in this way, but being realistic and saying, well, Russia might not have those guidelines and China might not have those guidelines. And if they have a product that people like, we can't compete now with it. So do you believe there could be cooperation?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
We could outlaw faking humans. Okay, so the U.S. has outlawed faking humans. No one else does. And those fake humans are really convincing and entertaining and all these things. And then that industry takes off somewhere else. Like, how do we do this in a world that there are no barriers of this technology?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I didn't get the C minus out of him.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And then I think what's really important, and I only know this because I'm on my second Von Neumann book, but Von Neumann was employed in the wake of the Manhattan Project to deal with how this proliferation was going to work. And he was so analytical and so realistic that he said... mutually assured annihilation is the solution. He knew that was the only outcome.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
It felt sociopathic to say it and to commit to it. But he's like, look, I'm modeling this out. This is the only way it works is mutually assured annihilation. That's what we ended up with. And so I'm having a little Van Noyman-y feelings about like, no, I think it's a race to who can win until everything gets neutralized. I don't know another comp other than the nuclear arms race.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
We're coming back around to it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So I accept that the nuclear analogy falls short in that there's so many benefits to this. Totally agree. But I will say, again, to parallel nuclear arms race in this moment in time, I think it would be only the second time where international cooperation is at its peak, where it's most needed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
We have got to recognize this as a moment where we have to be getting closer to all these places and not further away. Our competitors are geopolitical adversaries that
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
If ever there were a time where everyone stands to gain, other than the nuclear arms race, this is the time where it's like, we got to really figure out how to cooperate a bit because everyone will experience the downside if we don't.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I agree with you, but I will just say that climate to me is a little dicier simply because you have all of these burgeoning industrial economies that we would be slapping rules on. It's easy for us to adopt a lot of things that it's not for Sri Lanka. It's not totally fair. There actually should be areas of the world where they are allowed to pollute more as they pull themselves out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, I just hope that we recognize this is a moment to be making friendships a lot better and not doubling down.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Do you get to the guardrail point in the conversation with the legislators? We do. Do you have certain guardrails that you believe should be... Like, I like Yuval. Yuval said we shouldn't ever be able to fake humans. And I also think there should be a disclaimer on all AI-generated things that you at least know it came from that source.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
78% at an AI or a human does it at 40. It's a no brainer.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Right. I really want to encourage people, even if people have only a cursory or no interest in AI, I really think your book is one of my favorites I've read. It's just your personal story, as reluctant as you are to embrace it or talk about it, is a really special story.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I mean, what ground you've covered. Do you give yourself any moments where you go, God damn girl, we got here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, there's a lot of sweet people in the world still.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Oh, well, Feifei, this has been a delight. I hope everyone gets your book, The Worlds I See, Curiosity, Exploration, and Discovery at the Dawn of AI. And boy, those lucky people that get to have you as a teacher.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I also love the narrator of your book. Have you listened to it on tape?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, yeah. And you should read Maniac.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Oh, I love it. It's just really beautiful. I love the narrator, but I was having the moment where I was like, I was only introduced to you through this book. I was completely ignorant about you. And then there's a narrator. When I was doing research on you, I'm like, oh, we're going to find out what the real voice is.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Well, let's jump to a really big philosophical question about that. I think when reading your story, you came here, this huge language barrier, such a fish out of water. But your work, if good enough, would speak for itself. And it would be a meritocracy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
That wouldn't be the reason I'd advise you not to do it. I think it's way, way harder than people think. And there's a lot more acting involved. I've heard some writers narrate their own book. You got to be a performer.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Forget your accent. There's like a performance to be done.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Well, I hope you come back and see us again sometime and I'll be following everything you do. And thank you for trying with all your might to make this a human centered development.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. All right. Well, be well and thanks for coming.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Hi there, this is Hermium Permium. If you like that, you're going to love the fact check with Miss Monica. I'm Ani.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
We had so much fun yesterday, didn't we?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So much fun. So much fun.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Okay. Yes. Please tell.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
One of the many, many thousands of commercials you had done.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Where they asked you to be in it. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I have some housekeeping.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You know, I read the comments. And so, and this is so embarrassing. And I read it a couple of times. I'm like, these people are crazy. That's, I didn't say, so people were like, you said the wrong voice of Darth Vader in the Morgan Freeman intro. And I thought they were saying I had said Morgan Freeman was the voice of Darth Vader. And I'm like, I know I didn't say that because I know he's not.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And James Earl Jones was the voice of Darth Vader. And I said Edward James Olmos. So I did say it wrong. It was another three-name actor with an Edward in it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And so it's not surprising to me that someone who got to where they wanted to go with that belief would have a hard time thinking, wait, I was trying to transcend this otherness. This otherness is the thing that would be most interesting and worthy of attention and affection. What a gap.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So I fucked that up, and my apologies. Oh, and then the other thing was they had coitus interruptus because we were chatting, and I was going to say I was going to give a Danny Ricardo update because I had ridden motorcycles with him.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
But I guess then we got sidetracked, and I never did. So all these people who are rightly concerned about our sweetheart Danny Ricardo, how's he doing, were left hanging. And I'm here to report that he's so happy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
He's so, so happy. We were riding motorcycles all day long and we chatted a bunch and he's just very happy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, he's just doing really, really good. So people should rest assured that Danny Rick is thriving.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I had texted him to say, hey, people really love the episode. And me in particular, I really loved it. Thanks for doing it. And he said, how are the numbers? You know I am a lap time guy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I got to say, I want to say out loud, that really put a lot of wind in my sails. That made me so happy to have that episode come out. It really right-sized my perspective. As I vocalize on here, it's been a challenging transition. I've been really stressed. There's been bad news and challenges. And this came out, and I was like, oh, right, dumbass.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You get to meet people that you are obsessed and in love with. Holy lottery. Yeah, I just was, I was beaming all day Wednesday from it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Liquid Death. I'm just pointing to objects. Monkey with huge balls.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
We did, we did. Okay, there's another fun update, but this, I'm starting, I'm getting worried that people are going to be afraid to text me. I guess these people should know, I run it through my analysis.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And I would never say anything that was in a text that I didn't think was just lovely.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I get worried about it. Don't you? Like, you know, someone's got a private exchange with me. Yeah. And then I'm reporting on it. There's an ethical dilemma here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
But sometimes they're so funny and I think the person would like it anyways. So I sent Pitt the clip of Toto talking about me telling him that Pitt said he was a good dancer and then Toto talking about him coming to dinner.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And then he's... He said, I made up the thing about him being a good dancer. And I said... Oh, no. I said, I can't believe you made that up. In fact, I don't believe you made that up. I still believe he's a great dancer.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I know. But then he just had to go, well, I don't understand how that happened, but I'm going to take that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
He was doing a bit. He was like, you're not going to believe this. He's also a phenomenal dancer, but he's just with him. I believed it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
The crux of that story is I'm gullible.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Can we talk about Christmas a little bit?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I got the fever as much as I've ever had it. As hard as I've ever had it. Let me tell you what's happening. So, so far from our homework.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
We watched Christmas Vacation already. Home Alone 1 and 2. Side note, I've never heard Delta laugh harder in my life than the 27-minute set piece in Home Alone 2 where he's hitting the guys with bricks.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
She was laughing uncontrollably for like 27 minutes. She said at one point, it doesn't get old. Like they threw a fifth brick or whatever. And she's like, it doesn't get old. And I got so much joy out of watching her have that big of a laugh at something.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Okay, so Home Alone 2, we did Gremlins, another Christmas favorite for us. Last night we did the Grinch Who Stole Christmas original cartoon. And I want to go out and say... For the record, it's the number one Christmas cartoon to ever be made. It is the most creative. We all watched it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
There's a lot. You've got Rudolph. You've got the Chuck Brown.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You've got the—there's a bunch.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
But I'm saying maybe even Christmas anything. It ends and I said, you know, Dr. Seuss should really be regarded as like Salvador Dali. He had such a unique personality. Imaginative world he created in the words, in the set pieces. I mean, that's one of the most creative people to ever live.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I like when people use the term Seussian. Did you ever hear anyone use that?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Oh my God, it's so impressive. Yeah. Oh, I loved her. Please enjoy Dr. Faith Haley. We are presented by Amazon Prime. It's more than just fast, free shipping. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime. So keep listening, keep watching, keep on keeping on to hear more about why we love Prime during the fact check.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, it's cool, right?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, like Newtonian or like it's a paradigm.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Which is not my favorite word anymore. You taught me that word.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And I thank you for that. To remind people, Sisyphus pushed the rock up the hill every day. There's a Buddhist take that like, that's what people interpret that as a story of not wasted effort, but like, you know what I'm saying?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
But there's a Buddhist way of looking at it, which is like this person had purpose every single day, all day long and was not suffering probably.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
It was a huge rock. Well, first of all, he's probably jacked. So strong. So strong. But that's an interesting way to reframe it that like, no, this person every day of their life had purpose.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Probably very happy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yes. And I wake the girls up every morning. I wake up about 20 minutes before the girls to meditate. And so now they wake up to me playing from my phone. Over the Sonos, Christmas music. Wow. And I want to make a great recommendation to people who are using Spotify, and you can make a station. Go to the Charlie Brown Christmas album, and then go specifically to the song, Christmas Time is Here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. Well, I think even the notion that you're struggling so hard. I got to set up your story more. This is the last thing I'll say out of context. Monica's like, not everyone's read the book. But just, of course, math was appealing because math didn't have a language barrier.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Make a station out of Christmas Time is Here, and it's the best Christmas mix I've ever had.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And it's on all the time. And so, you know, the tree is over decorated.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You know, we get one tree and Kristen gets a tree in the kitchen.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And hers is artistic.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And this year it's Wicked. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. And our tree is a throw up of color. And I have those old fashioned bulbs that the water bubbles up in them. They're almost impossible to get to sit vertical on your tree. I've spent most of my free time positioning all of them. And then I pull the cord and they all fall down. It's a Sisyphean task.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I didn't expect it to come around that quick. I had all this anxiety about presents, but I knocked a bunch of presents out the other day.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I used your gift guide almost exclusively.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Complain about your gift guide, though. You make things sell out. Your gift guide is moving markets.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. I have to say.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You have exquisite taste.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Some of your recommendations were so good that I found myself dancing around on the websites.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. Yep. And yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
There's fun stuff. So.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I have four strands, really long strands and four of those bubbly light strands. Sure. And the tree's touching the ceiling. It's a Clark Griswold. It's too big.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And I'd cut a foot off.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
My apologies, Miss Monica. Miss Monica, I'm sorry. I get so carried away sometimes when the spirit moves me. I don't leave my apartment much, so I really enjoy decorating it, get all those colors. Makes me optimistic.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I have a cousin who's not working at the moment, and he loves going to department stores and plazas and shopping malls and strip malls. Wow. And I'll call him on the landline. That's what I have, Miss Monica. I pick up the phone, and I call his. His name is Bert.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, he's my—did I say my brother-in-law or my cousin?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, he's my cousin. I just remembered. Oh. And weirdly enough, he's also my brother-in-law, but it's my stepsister.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Everything's on the above board, as they say. And I call up Bert and I say, here's what I need, Bert. Six water weenies, 10 spatulas, and Bert. It takes him a while, sometimes four or five days. And then he comes over and he does charge me a little more, but that's okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And then I have to call him back up and ask him to deliver the presents. Wow. That's okay, though. He charges me for that, too.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Mrs. Mom. Color lights.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Well, first of all, do you have the light you want?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Now listen, sometimes you complain about there being two boys, one girl in this situation. But you have to admit, Rob is a perfect middle ground. Like if Aaron was here, it would suck. He disproves my gender stereotypes quite a bit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
That's right, Monica. That's right, Miss Monica.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I could really get on my high horse about it. I used to have a really strong stance on it. And it's all my class warfare stuff.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, there's more philosophy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
But did you see Chris Rock's latest stand up? He said, I am rich, but I identify as poor.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, well, there's people with a lot more money than me, but I do have— You're of the highest class.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Okay, so let's start in China in 1976. You're the only child of your parents.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, but you know what? I act like myself, and I have color. Here's what I'll say. The white, all-white Christmas tree— Yeah. is like occasionally I'd see that at people's houses who had an extra living room that no one went into and you weren't allowed to go in there, you know, take off all your shoes, you know, you'd get in a fucking Intel outfit to go in the room.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And all of it seems stuffy and not playful and fun and colorful. It's felt very presentational.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
But I used to be judgmental of that. I still don't like it, but I'm not as judgmental.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I know I'm spoiled. I know I'm spoiled.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And talk about your mother because she's very interesting.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I'm really spoiled.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
That it wouldn't be fair for a stranger to hate me just because I have money?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, I would feel that way on the other side of it, but I wouldn't expect anyone to feel that way, not be on the other side of it because I get it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, I know that. I would know that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You don't need to tell me that. I know that. And I'm not judgmental of you. I'm so glad you're having the Christmas you've always wanted.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, because we were there like 11 a.m. on a Saturday and you were there at 11 a.m. But I got to say, this is my record of all time. I was so fast and there was no fighting. This is like first year in a few. That day is very triggering for our family.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You've got to compromise.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You call the tree a bald puss?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And— You like more of a Brazilian tree? No, Brazilian is— That's shaped and full.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Isn't a Brazilian like you have a landing strip?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Okay. I'm glad I- What's the landing? The landing strip's just the landing strip?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Do you think any dudes get a landing strip? I was just thinking I want to go do that just as a bit. I've done that as a joke.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. Okay, let's take a break from the fact check to thank our presenting sponsor, Amazon Prime. Prime has you covered with movies, music, and everything you could possibly need to make the holidays perfect. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yes, it is. That time of year.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
If you're as popular as Monica, you're hitting the party circuit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Prime can help with that, especially if you decide last minute you want to buy something new. You're set with Prime's fast, free shipping. And hey, what you're buying for holiday parties depends on whether you're a guest or a host. If you're hosting, then you're going deep on Prime to find everything you need to make your home feel fun and festive and perfectly like you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Absolutely. And you can get all those things on Prime.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Amazon Music will get the vibe right. Listen, what we're saying is anything you need for a holiday party is on Prime. Nice sweaters, goofy sweaters for the ugly sweater party, holiday decor, gifts for the host, or fun small stuff for a gift exchange at work. The sky is the limit when Prime's fast, free shipping is at your fingertips. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Visit Amazon.com slash Prime to get more out of whatever you're into.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Like Christmas vacation, there was a beam of light shining down on it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Are you his daughter? Because I think you view more of his mom.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, so I got you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Oh, yeah. That's the kind I like.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And then you arrive and you show this great aptitude. And now she has, in a sense, a second chance at this dream. But she starts recognizing pretty soon your path is going to be stilted as well if you stay there. So what's happening? What is she noticing as you start getting educated and show this aptitude?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Is there no part of you that feels sad? Like what I really, the softest spot in my heart I have is for Charlie Brown's Christmas when they get that really bad tree. Charlie Brown did a bad job and they hated it. They're yelling at Charlie because of the tree. But then they decide to love it. And it's a good little tree.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And I always am drawn to the shitty tree there because I think no one wants this tree. And we'd have a great Christmas with this tree. I have a real, I get emotional about it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, I want to like rescue this shitty tree.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
That's right. That's right. And all because of Charlie Brown, I think.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So, yes. So, the girls have one agenda, which is to never like the same tree, I think, as their agenda. And then mom has an agenda. Mom's very aesthetic. You know, it's very important to her.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. Yeah, like me. She's got something in her mind she's looking for. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
My singular goal is when you pull into Home Depot, you can either park And then go by the tree and then enter the line to pull up where they'll put the tree in. And I want to just pull into the line and know that they can get that tree fast enough that by the time it inches up to the front, we'll have gotten a tree.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So my only objective is to get the trees in time by the time I'm pulling the truck. Because Kristen stays in the car? No. In previous years, they go in and I wait in the car. This year, I went too.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I just parked it. And I'm like, I'm going to run in. I'm going to see if I find a tree. It's not going to move up that fast. They got to load a tree. I didn't hold anyone up. Okay. And then we got the trees by the time I pulled up. So that was my goal. Mine's way less aesthetic and way more time management.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
How could you not? Well... A tree that no one wants, Monica? It's already...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And by personality, I mean missing parts.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
It sounds though like you guys are very Frito-esque when you're shopping for this tree. You're just not doing the voice. Talking about ball, I don't even want to say it either. My God. And you're saying it's your daughter? This is twisted. Certainly don't want Jess talking about his daughter in that fashion.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Last update. It was time for a crop, a harvest. Everyone already knows that. I feel like people are going to have a bunch of judgment about this. I guess fuck them. Delta's like, I want to shave my legs. Will you shave my legs?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I'm like, okay. People are going to be like, you shouldn't shave your kid's legs. I can already feel that coming. But I don't give a fuck. She wants me to shave her legs.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
She feels left out. I did it. Okay. Monica, her leg hair is also cashmere. It is. So we now have two fields in rotation. And so I want you to see what an enormous.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yes. It's now father-daughter cashmere. And I want you to, you remember how much we had just two days ago.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Look at the amount of cashmere we now have.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I was making a joke that we might get a mitten or a scarf in 10 years, but I actually think that's a real possibility now. Look at the amount in there now.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Some of it disappeared. That's okay. Now we got two growers.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. Yeah. Now you have two growers. We got basically a mink farm.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, it's just I think it's separated.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, I think hers might even be softer than my back hair.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
But that's got a time limit. Her leg hair will turn into shitty hair like our leg hair. But currently she is growing cashmere.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You think I need to get a work permit for her? Because she is now kind of actively.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I don't want to out her because she did such a great job. Lincoln shaved my back, did a great job.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
But she thought she had some cashmere on the razor and she emptied a little bit into our pouch. And then I discovered, no, some of that was beard hair. So I had to actually go in and pull it. Now I'm getting embarrassed. It sounds like a bit, but then you realize, no, it's not a bit. He's really... That happened.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
No, I just, I could feel and I'd pull that out of you. I probably lost a lot of really good product.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
It's only the second harvest, so. Wow. Still learning a lot. Exciting.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Oh, oh, oh, okay. It looked like the look on your face was that it was a famous person.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Male. Give me age, height, describe.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Okay. Your face betrayed you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Kelly was fucked up too.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You should have gone back inside to talk to the third woman. Who entered.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So this is a lost persons report.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
If you open a door for Callie and Monica at the farmer's market.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Brentwood Country Mart. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Okay. Yeah. Contact, I guess, comment in this. I'll read it. Okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Don't. No catfishes.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I guess you'll be able to see the photo, though, and you'll know.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
And no one could fake it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
He's like a lifeline.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
How many more times did you think about him?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Did you like whip up fantasies? I know you're prone to fantasies.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Love at first sight.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah. Wow. And I wonder. And how often have you thought of him since then? Daily or once every few days?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I sure hope he reaches out in the comments.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Also, no bullshit, no catfishing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Stop catfishing, everybody.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
What do you want him to call you?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Don't leave it. Don't let him decide.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Oh, and a ding, ding, ding. We just interviewed someone who knows her intimately. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I mean, sexually. The colleague. We just interviewed a colleague.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I loved her so much too.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
His secretary lived with him.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
You're probably right. Yeah, I guess secretaries were just assistants.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
It's kind of like the Martha Stewart thing. We all think she traded her company
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Nor did she even do any insider training. I know. But she still went to prison. I know. Yeah. But yeah, the nefarious activity was on Cambridge Analytic, not Meta. Right, but also they- And they were just using existing tools that anyone could have been using.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Well, what would have been your trajectory had you stayed in China in 1988 when you're 12? Am I misremembering that your mom felt like they weren't giving you the attention and encouragement that she was hoping you would get?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Everyone should listen to Acquired, just period.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, if you like a deep dive, that's the show for you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Oh, big time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Okay. I just adore her. I wish her the best.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
I'm grateful for her.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now we know. And I'm grateful for her existence.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
He's great. Love you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
This is what I'm remembering from the book, that you were explicitly told you're not as smart as boys.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So your dad leaves when you're 12. He goes to New Jersey. He's there for three years on his own. And he is setting up a landing for you and your mother. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Do you remember that three years missing him terribly? How was that experience?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
So then you come your sophomore year. Yes. You start a public high school in New Jersey.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
One of the experiences you had, I came in and told Monica immediately about, and you were in a class, some kind of a study hall or something. Library. And you were with a group of other ESL kids, English as a Second Language kids. And you saw a very, well, no, I want to say how insignificant this first interaction was, like benign brushing up against a kid's backpack or something. Right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
friend was on the floor by the time i realized there was some commotion being kicked and punched i think there was nose bleeding and he was holding his head yeah he said he got a concussion and a broken nose and there's two boys kicking him yeah and that's not even maybe the most traumatic part it's that after he's gone for a couple weeks he comes back and he's just not the same boy
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
We're up to a terrible start.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Fei Fei Li (on a human-centered approach to AI)
Yeah, I think it changes your worldview on a dime, which is, ooh, this new place I'm in can get pretty violent and a little out of control. And if you're other, this could happen. I have to imagine. Yeah, it's an incredibly scary recognition of where you're at.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by Modest Mouse.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It's not great, but it'll make it through, I think, both series. Really?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But what a great show to go out watching. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Okay. This is great.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You did a really good job. If I'm your teacher, I'm going to say.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I was playing. I need to do a few minutes on mom and dad because they both have very, very colorful, interesting backgrounds. So as you said, your father was a taxi driver, but he also worked at a hospital and he also became a college professor of sociology. This doesn't seem like a possible trajectory. That sounds like an immigrant story.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
They went in that neutral route. Yeah, the two fronts met in the middle. That's something we can both agree on. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And then mom was a choreographer in a high school. Oh, my God. That's not even on the Wikipedia. She was also a clown by the name of Kalana. What was her mom? Yeah, Bonabini. Bonabini.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Leaning to the number thing. Can we take one second to recognize that we've interviewed 800 people. No one's mother was a clown.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You never had a friend over that had this eerie feeling he or she had met your mother before and then hours later went, Oh, my God. Did your mother do my fourth grade?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. This is the one I am most excited to indulge myself with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yes. So now I guess this is common knowledge. I didn't know this before researching you. But when I told my wife excitedly from the bedroom, you're not going to believe who Jesse Eisenberg's little sister is. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Did she know? She knew immediately. But do you know, Monica? His little sister is the Pepsi girl, the Pepsi girl, the one you're thinking of.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But you were already acting, right? Because you're first, you were an understudy at 12 years old for a Tennessee Williams play. Exactly. That's pretty nuts.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah. So do you have to go there every night if you're an understudy?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Even though at that point, Little Sisterhood also generated a bunch of money.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
We would. Would we go promote? That's the question. I've been told that's what you get paid to do is go promote. Unless it's a podcast, then you would do that for free as well.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, no one asked for this, but I think the finances of this would interest people who are not in show business. So if you think about a studio has a budget to promote the movie and they're trying to get it in front of as many eyeballs as possible. And so they have many options.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
They can buy a TV commercial and a 30 second spot is going to cost however many tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars versus we send you to Camel. We show a clip of it and you talk about the movie. We can count that as basically two ad spots. So by their math, they just saved $200,000. So if they're going to send you out there, my God, they'll spend five grand on your hotel room.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Don't give a shit. And they'll pay for you to get a massage. And it's a big savings for them.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I love Audible. I swear by Audible. I can't wait to listen to the Orwell 1984 off this list. I'm also doing Fleas by autobiography right now, which I'm obsessed with. I can't get enough Audible in my life every night. Go to audible.com slash DAX and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash DAX. We are supported by Klaviyo.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I mean, I guess I like it and hate it. Gangly hillbilly crosses the parking lot to say, hey, I can tell you, Jesse Eisenberg, by the way you're standing. It was the parking lot of Universal Studios where you were filming a major popular show. Yeah, I already got through one round of security, I suppose. Yeah, exactly. OK, so. You were already on that trajectory.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You've said a couple of times school is miserable. What version? I mean, I guess I have hunches. Oh, I really had a very bad.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Now, here's my hope, is that it was... so endearing that it got you out of getting bullied for it?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, that's really kind of life affirming, to be honest, because I do think even shitty kids have some critical mass of suffering. OK, he's already too fucked up. Maybe that's it. They'll push, push, push. And there's a moment where their actual conscious kicks in, I think. That's a really good point.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So that's weirdly kind of hopeful that you were crying that much and they were just going, don't cry, don't cry. Not like if you cry, you fucking baby.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
What parent do you think it was harder? I mean, it's hardest on you. Let me say that first. As a parent, that would be absolutely heartbreaking for me to know my kid gets on the bus and cries the whole way to school every day. But I weirdly guess that dad would be in a very big panic that this world's going to be too hard for a boy and that he somehow has got to toughen you up.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And how does he do it? That's exactly what happened. But I didn't think of it that way. He probably so overcome a fear.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Out of his fear, I'm sure that you were going to suffer your whole life.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It was genuinely terrifying. Do you mean any sexy Ali Shidi types that were like misunderstood? I have a fantasy about falling in love at one of these places. Oh, yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You can see the movie in your head, right? The teenagers that go to the derelict center and then she's really hot and misunderstood and she just needs to talk about her dad to you and everything will be fine.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I would be thinking cohabitation with other teenagers. What might happen?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Okay, this is great because people may remember a while back, you and I have debated which is better, acetaminophen or ibuprofen. We sure have. So for me, particularly headaches, I got to go Tylenol.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, you won't even play. What about for headaches, though?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
The gods have intervened, and we have a perfect solution. Motrin and Tylenol have finally settled the great debate by teaming up and introducing Motrin Dual Action with... Tylenol.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I think they may have. Why just use one when you can have both? The pain-targeting strength of Motrin united with the pain-blocking power of Tylenol. Ibuprofen is the active ingredient in Motrin, and acetaminophen is the active ingredient in Tylenol. Motrin plus Tylenol brands provide over 100 years of combined pain relief experience in one product.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Whatever your needs, Tylenol and Motrin are here to help. Fast acting, long lasting. Buy Tylenol, Motrin, and Motrin Dual Action with Tylenol on Amazon or at a store near you. Use product only as directed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Klaviyo powers smarter digital relationships for more than 151,000 successful brands, including Hedley & Bennett, Fishwife, and Dagny Dover. Build smarter digital relationships with your customers. Visit klaviyo.com to make every moment count.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Hello there. Hello there. Hello there. Jesse Eisenberg. This is a reunion for he and I, as you'll find out. We met one other time.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Compounded medications are not reviewed by the FDA for safety, efficacy, or quality. We are supported by Audible. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. This is the one I am most excited to indulge myself with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I love Audible. I swear by Audible. I can't wait to listen to the Orwell 1984 off this list. I'm also doing Fleas by autobiography right now, which I'm obsessed with. I can't get enough Audible in my life every night. Go to audible.com slash DAX and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash DAX. Okay, so we're laughing about it, but were you terrified?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Were you thinking at that point, there's something fundamentally broken with me and I'm not going to be able to function on this planet?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, I've heard you talk about harnessing it in a positive direction. I think that's virtually the only option you have on the table is you got to learn to work with your character defects and exploit them for the good side and try to mitigate the downside. Yeah. Yes, I guess so. You have no choice. I wrestle with this, too. I write from a place of you're a lazy piece of shit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You're a failure if you don't accomplish this. Everything is negatively motivated. And so I relate to when I hear you speak about it. I'm like, oh, yeah, I do a very similar thing. And then feeling guilt that I have to be motivated that way by self-loathing and all this. And then hopefully some compassion and forgiveness and acceptance. You're that way. And OK, here we go.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
No, I think it's possible. I also think it's fascinating that you can have or in my case, it's like this split confidence thing. There's no self-esteem at all in imposter syndrome and all this stuff. And then also this you're a failure, which has innately in it some idea that I'm supposed to be special and super prolific and good.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So this dichotomy of I'm unworthy and I'm a fraud and also you're supposed to be doing great things. They're kind of incompatible.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Hi. Welcome. I'm sorry I'm late. Oh, that's okay. Thanks for having me here. Yeah. Oh, you smelled the light bulb. Oh, you too?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I picked this up in AA and it's been kind of helpful in me governing how bad the self-loathing can be. Because in there it says that self-pity is the other side of the coin is self-aggrandizement. You've still elevated yourself to some level where the universe cares is against you or you have bad luck coming your way. Right. Like today, you know, something bad's coming.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You're not that important to warrant this bad luck or the right sizing of the justice. The piece of shit at the center of the universe. Yes, another great AA thing we say a lot. Or I'm not much, but I'm all I think about. That's really funny. Yeah. And sometimes I'll be in that kind of self-pity or it's self-pity adjacent, right? Right, right. And I'll go, this is so indulgent.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
This is as indulgent of being a megalomaniac, which I would not tolerate from myself. So if I can turn that same ire onto the self-loathing part and go like, it's still you feeling way too important.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You should. You can imagine someone going, get over yourself. You're not fucking so important and you're not suffering any more than anyone else.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I'm the worst narcissist in the world. Yes. I think I'm the worst single narcissist. Yes, but I think it starts dissipating every one of these steps you take. So then it becomes a little manageable that your ego got away from you. I don't know.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
We have this weird dichotomy of being so important and then also zero self-esteem.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It seems to be very universal in AA. My hunch is it's probably universal to humans. But we have, for whatever reason, determined that was one of the main driving forces of the self-obliteration process.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It is quite obvious to me talking to you how Woody Allen would have been such an appealing figure when you were young. Yeah. Because here's a guy that seems to have the outward same personality. grab bag of anxiety and is processing it through art. And it's hysterical. Right. And so this is a time for a really great and weird story, which is you wrote something for Woody Allen.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Did you hit him with that story on a first meeting or did you wait till you were filming for a while before you told him?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So maybe she smelled great, yeah. My compliments to the former owner of that sweater.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It was like a joke, but also indicating that there's nothing we're going to be talking about. Do you chalk up the anxiety to just baseline biochemical or do you think any of it is nurture?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I find you very interesting to watch endlessly. So keep processing in public all of your stuff.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Okay. So back to now, this radical flip-flopping. It's no wonder you're waiting for the shoe to always drop. So you're in a mental institution and then click of a fingers and you're on a TV show in high school.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
That's a fun first question. Is most of your wardrobe comprised of shit you've collected on sets?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Southern religious Jew. Yeah. Tommy Shlomi, the best dramatic director in television history. He's a Texas Jew. Oh, is he really? With the name Shlomi.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
No, but he's so special. He was the West Wing guy, right? He did West Wing. Yeah, yeah. I've always seen that name and wondered, why not change it? Yeah. He did the pilot of Parenthood. And I said, just hearing that name, it's one that would make you or break you. And I see it's made you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Anne Hathaway, had she already done a bunch of stuff? No, I think it was both of our first jobs.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Would you be in scenes with your sister thinking you've got to table your attraction to this person because you're playing?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, maybe. I really was not. I bet that's charming to gals. I bet over the years you've had something that would appear to be confidence because you've already just written it off as not an option.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yes. That's its own interesting really story I want to remark. But yeah, five year break that ends a marriage is incredible and unconventional.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Oh, this is like Sorrento. She kind of like fell in love with your words. Is that the name of the play? Sorrento?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You gave it the Parmesan cheese version of Cyrano. Yeah. Well, I'm always straddling the line between Philistine and know what I'm talking about.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, it's a good story. You were going to go to NYU, but instead you did a movie and then you ended up at the new school and you dabbled in anthro. I've graduated in anthropology. I have an anthro degree. Wow. Can I ask why? Yeah. That's exactly why I was going to ask you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Through my own childhood, I just always felt outcast. I didn't feel like I agreed with the vibe that was existing around me. I thought there had to be other ways. And answer was like, oh, not only are there other ways, there's like very exotic, interesting other ways. Oh, you mean to just
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
That's a ding, ding, ding, because my only really sad experience I ever had with wardrobe was Sony. Really? Because in this movie, Zathura, they made this really cool astronaut's outfit for me. And again, there were several. And I wanted it. And they said, no, you can't have it. And I said, well, I'll pay for it. And they said, no, you can't pay for it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, culturally, realizing how flexible culture is and how many versions are out there to try begs the question, are we even close to what version we'll be ultimately living in? Because anthropology teaches you that cultures are not superior or inferior to each other. Cultural relativism. We just got to learn why it functions the way it does, not whether that's good or bad.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah. And I'm feeling like it's unacceptable how I'd like to be doing this. Oh, there isn't a right or wrong. That's comforting.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah. Interesting. And then you're doing a bunch of acting while you're at the new schools. Yeah. I would leave every other semester. And is that where Lipson was the new school? Oh, wow. Yes. James Lipton. James Lipton.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I hated it too. But if I do some soul searching, I think it's probably because I thought maybe they were better than me. That I haven't studied enough. Oh yeah. And I could understand feeling that way.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And then years, years later, and I know you're not on social media, but like 15 years later, someone sent me a link to it being sold on eBay for like 15 bucks and it's sold or something completely insignificant. Are you serious? Yes. The whole astronaut outfit. And I was like, those sons of bitches, I would have given them more than $15. Wait, who was selling it?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Okay, so you come onto my radar in The Squid and the Whale.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I saw that movie and I absolutely loved it. I love Jeff Daniels like crazy. I think he's one of the most unsophisticated. sung him a newsroom. Yeah. So I saw that and I thought you were incredible. And I thought that movie was absolutely incredible. Is that Mark kind of, I already know the answer, I think, which is you don't ever feel safe, but did it feel like, okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
The right people are noticing this. I have my foot in the door firmly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, you have four years between Squid and the Whale and then Zombieland, which unless I'm mistaken, Zombieland's then the next big kind of thing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So in those four years, where are we at mentally? Also, is there anyone you've isolated as I'm emulating that career or I would like that career? Were you thinking of what kind of actor you were aspiring to be?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Zombieland to me was so fucking incredible. I don't like zombie movies. I was like, who's Ruben Fleischer? This guy can fucking direct. There was a Metallica song in the movie, which there almost never is. Yeah, you're right. When you were shooting Zombieland, did you have any sense while it was happening? Like, oh, yeah, this is pretty mega. This is going to be fucking awesome.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I imagine Sony just was like, we got to get rid of all this. We need 15 bucks? We got to get 15 bucks by Friday. Oh my God.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
This is cruel. He's kind of obsessed with Michael Cera.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And it takes a while to get comfortable with it. Now, and I've talked to Zach about it as well. It's like, I'm happy to pose in a picture and you think it's Zach and that's great. I don't need to correct anyone. You were great in Garden State. Thank you. I've signed a hot rod.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Jesse, that happened to me while I was presenting on stage with this singer. We're midway through one of these award shows like this season's blah, blah, blah. And she just looks at me and she goes, you're so much better looking in real life. And I was really delighted and also like, but hold on now. She thinks I'm rough. Like that's the objective truth.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
As opposed to what she thought before, which is why is this guy in movies, which I would have related to her on. Right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
OK, now the social network comes along. I guess I just want to know a little bit about how you came to be in that movie. And what's it like? Do you go meet Fincher first? Do you audition? Was it written with you in mind?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, maybe we were both thinking the same thing and then it came out and just didn't. Didn't really do it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Wow. Did the repeated takes. Let me ask you this. Are you prone to insecurity on set? It sounds like you are having a lot of insecurity on Zombieland.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It could also be, you know, the company that made it. They could add duplicates. I don't even know.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And you famously had no experience on Facebook. You joined for 30 seconds or something.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I joined for like 12 days once. And I looked at everyone I went to junior high with. And when that was over, I was like, I don't know why I'm on here anymore.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, my conclusion was everyone I looked at, I'm like, oh, they're old. Oh, they got families. You can only do that so long before you go. And clearly I am too, because we're all the same age. Whatever I am looking at them with, I have to acknowledge is happening for me too.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Okay, this is always a stressful question to hear out loud, especially in public. But do you remember meeting me? Oh, I was actually racking my brain trying to. I'll paint a picture for you. Okay. I don't know the year. It would be between 2008 and 2013 because that's when I shot the show.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, thank you. You already had your taste of it all with Zombieland, but that's an enormous moment. You get nominated for a BAFTA and a Golden Globe and Academy Award. That prick Colin Firth had done King's Speech, so no one had a chance in hell. Yeah, what was that whirlwind like?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Which part? The story about why you're not drawn to it. If I were you, I'd be like, I don't belong there. Those people belong there. That's the real feeling in my heart that I might not want to look at.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So I build on top of it a very defendable reason why. Artistic. Which is that awards are bullshit. Pitying artists and all this stuff. The brain quickly fills in a plausible excuse that doesn't require you to own your fear or your vulnerability.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And you actually leave going like, no, I actually belong in this group of people, which I keep convincing myself.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But I was at Universal shooting Parenthood and I'm outside my trailer and I see a young gentleman across the way in front of one of the bungalows. I think having a cigarette. Were you a smoker? No. You weren't a smoker. I could tell from a hundred yards. I'm like, that's just- Oh my God, yes, I do remember.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I should be there alone. I don't know why they invited DiCaprio.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Oh, I did want to mention one thing because it seems relevant for A Real Pain, which is Emma Stone, of course, was in Zombieland. Is that the first time you meet her? Yeah. You guys become pals, obviously, because she's a producer on both the movies you directed. Yeah, exactly. I think she is so talented. I think she's so sparkly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And I thought, poor thing, she was off the charts great in Zombieland. I find her to be a real unicorn.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You're right. There's a hyper intelligence, too. I should have listed that in the mix. Yeah. But so often you go on a movie and you really bond with somebody, but then there's no legs to it afterwards. You both go to different sides of the planet and do another movie for three months. How did you guys end up maintaining that friendship? It just broke through that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
My hunch is she makes you feel incredibly comfortable to talk to.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And so for a lot of people, she's the most comfortable person they get to talk to. And so they are in the level of intimacy that they can feel comfortable sharing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I mostly out of curiosity had to confirm, like, can I possibly be recognizing that's Jesse Eisenberg from this far away just by how he's standing?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Because I could also see you convincing yourself to not stay in touch with her. Oh, no, I did. I basically didn't reach out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Wow. That is when you finish saving the world. Yeah, exactly. Okay. You do the Now You See Me's. Those are huge hits. John's a friend of ours for part two. John Chu. Oh, really? You got to see Wicked. He fucking slayed it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It's insane. OK, it makes a ton of sense. You've written a bunch of plays that have been produced. You've been writing forever and you're acting. So obviously directing is not a big leap. But for you, did it feel like a big declaration?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You were living also in a subset of Hollywood that got largely diminished. You were in a lot of 20 to 60 million dollar movies, quirky comedies. Those went away. The actual sweet spot you were living in is only just deflated over the last 10 years because that's TV now.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But I'm sure you're at home going like, yeah, no one likes me anymore. Forget the fact that they haven't made a $35 million dramedy in eight years. You know, it literally never crossed my mind.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah. And I came over. I'm like, I could tell as you from and you're like, OK, trying to take that in. Like, that's a weird icebreaker. And then we had a nice 15, 20 minute chat. Yes. I don't know why I remember you smoking, but I sexed you up a little bit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Right. And had you convinced yourself that the ride was over, even to the degree where you were trying to transition into gratitude for having been at the party? That's funny. You're talking about the memoir phase of the career. Like the processing of the experience.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Mine is I'm doing Ace True Value hardware commercials regionally in Michigan. And I go, no, you didn't get punked. We do have garden hoses on sale. Exactly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I didn't know that either until I was reading about you today.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Okay, great. So here's this other great irony, which is constant fear of the future. But when terrible shit's happening to me, I'm kind of good in terrible shit. I'm fine. Which begs the question, why am I so afraid of the future?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Now, I heard you talk about directing. I thought this was a cool thing to acknowledge because I say this kind of publicly. This is a wild business. The most creative person isn't the best director. You have to also lead 120 people in a direction. That's its own skill set. And it's almost bears no relation to the other part of the job.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It's like your general manager of a store. Yeah. It's very interesting. You think, oh, if you're creative, you're a writer and you're in your room by yourself. And if you're a good enough writer, eventually they'll go, do you want to direct? You're like, well, I sit in a room by myself. This is going to be a different experience altogether. I liked hearing how you owned that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Like, I'm not the kind of guy that can be shouting on set. We're losing the light. But you found your own way through it. What is it that you landed on that made you comfortable in that role?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I think I'm best in the things I've directed because, yeah, I'm so distracted by the much bigger issue at hand. So you're unselfconscious. Yeah. There's no time for it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, it's kind of poisonous. I mean, I'm addicted to nicotine greatly. But not cigarettes. I smoked for, I don't know, 15 years. And it's miserable the first, I don't know, 100 cigarettes. You got to really stick with it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It gives me an example that I can do the same job without all the bullshit. I don't have to be fearful, right? And I don't have to be nervous. It's almost like immersion therapy for you or I, where you get results and then you have to acknowledge, oh, I didn't need all that racket.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, I watched A Real Pain last night and I really, really enjoyed it. And in fact, I was watching it. My 11 year old who was just trying to get out of going to bed, which is a great technique. She kind of joined me. She was laying on the floor watching with me. And she goes, this movie is hard to watch. But I really like it. And I'm like, yeah, that's like a whole genre of movies, hon.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
We take for granted all three of us grew up watching certain kinds of movies. And now kids grew up watching like kids movies or tentpole movies. This whole strata. Oh, right. Of like an emotionally taxing talk heavy. It's not in the marketplace. It was cool. This is uncomfortable. You can feel what these guys are going through. And that in itself is very intriguing and pleasurable to consume.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But what you're saying is that's unique. My finger's off the pulse. If you're 11, look, we took them to the mall Friday night because I found out there was a Dairy Queen in the Burbank mall. Once we got there, I realized, oh, we've never been to the mall with the kids. They think this is spectacular. We're in Macy's. They're on every bed, every couch, every chair. And I'm like, oh, right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
This was my entire childhood going to the mall. They never been there just because mall culture is not the same thing. Well, we don't shop at the mall. We shop online. And this particular mall, the Burbank Mall, shout out. It's a time warp. It's the 80s. This is the same terrible things at the food court. It was just one of these dumb things where I was like, oh, right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I spent every weekend of my life at a mall. This is their first time to a mall at 11 years old. In that way, this movie was weirdly refreshing because this movie could have been all of movies. Yeah, yeah. Could have been. What director do I want to say? Not Hal Ashby, but there's a 70s vibe to this movie.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, she liked Kieran, but Kieran is also making everyone very, very uncomfortable around him.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, it's unpredictable. All right, so let's set up the movie and then I want to hear your own history and going into it. The thing I want to applaud the most is just as a writer, it's such a different story by the conceit of it. So you and your cousin, who are very close as kids, who are separated in adulthood geographically and socioeconomically and all these things, you shared a grandma.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
She lived in Poland, World War II, and she died and she left you guys money to go visit where she's from. And you guys joined a tour. Yeah. With a really fun group of different people with different reasons to be on the tour. And now we're just on this tour through Poland and it's a Holocaust tour. And there's these cousins trying to come to terms with how different their lives have turned out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I'm sure the implicit guilt in your character's mind. And he's Kieran. So he's the dude from Succession. He's impossibly charismatic, can get away with saying anything. Yeah. And it's really fun to watch. What's your, I know you have some similar bit of history with Poland and your aunt.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
He is incredible. He's an Academy Award nominated actor, filmmaker. Did I say actor?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
For lack of better verbiage, he seems kind of bipolar. You don't know what you're going to get on what day. Is he going to be really high and ramping up everyone else around him? Or is he going to be in the pits and drag everyone down with him?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
There are two different characters. But are they you? I mean, are they your superego and your id?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
There's also all this great exploration of what the third generation Jewish experience is. But it brings up different things that you could potentially be dealing with with that family history that's shared by so many.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
One of them I found was fascinating I had never really considered was in your great moment of frustration with your cousin, you say the notion that he's living in the basement of his parents' home, knowing what his own grandmother went through and survived, is like somehow this cosmic disappointment. Exactly. It never occurred to me...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
That people would feel that way, but of course they probably would. That might be an actual thought people have who feel like they're underachieving.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, you inherit. It's more than the immigrant story. It's the survivor immigrant story. And yeah, I think about my own self-flagellation. And if I could add in there that my Papa Bob, he was orphaned. He adopted all of his younger brothers and sisters and supported them. I think what that man went through. And I'm like, yeah, I didn't get X movie to Y actor. Isn't that weird?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
What a shameful place I'm occupying in my head right now.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, just all more fuel. And then again, the story he's telling, like, yeah, just an outward rejection of all wealth because he doesn't have it. Also, these stories that he's telling himself, Kieran. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rich people are fucking idiots.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
My overarching hunch is that you've convinced yourself there's a lot of things you can't pull off that you could. Maybe that's true.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yes. And why the thing you're doing is the natural and right thing to be doing. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I think this is some of the great angst with economically disenfranchised people is they're hearing rich people talk about that they should care about the planet. Right. And they're like, yeah, let me handle dinner and rent and I might join you in this existential crisis that's a thousand years away.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
There is some reality, like when your full bandwidth is made up of surviving, a lot of these other concerns are trivial.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So my gut's telling me you think you weren't pulling it off and you probably were.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
All of it's overwhelming. And so I don't like thinking about it. And my best course of action is to explain why. It's just to basically fall on Nietzsche, to have kind of a... Nillis takeaway is your only recourse to not suffer in thinking about it. I'll go, yeah, bad shit happens on planet Earth. People are tribal. And that's the facts of life.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It's all an attempt so I don't actually have to feel how miserable that might be. Oh, I see. I got a little compartment in my head and it's like, yeah, the Earth's gnarly. We do gnarly shit. People are susceptible to cults of personality and we're social animals. I understand it, quote. Therefore, I don't have to feel it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But I think going there, I go, it matters a ton and it's real and it's palpable. And there's nothing I can do to really think my way out of this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah. This is one of Monica and I's longest standing battles. I think she's cooler than she thinks she is. I encouraged her to shave. I think I'm
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
To understand intellectually. Exactly. One detail that I absolutely love that you had in the movie, only because I just read this book, When We Cease to Understand the World. Have you read that book? Oh, no. You must read this book because you show the Prussian blue... On the gas chambers.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Did you read Maniac yet? His next book? Oh, did he write another thing?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
He's French, right? He's like from 10 different countries. French is his first language, but he might be in Argentina writing. Oh, that's exactly what it was.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yes. And so to tell people, Prussian blue only exists as a byproduct of the poisonous gas that was used.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So Prussian blue is just this beautiful color in a palette of painters and it was discovered in some year. I forget which year. And when you create that compound that's in cyanide or you say in the movie. We say Zyklon B. Yeah, those chemicals create the color Prussian blue, which is so beautiful. And all of the gas chambers had Prussian blue all over.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Like the gas just would seep out of the doors where they would open it. So surrounding the door going in. And so now like 80 years later, the stains are still on the wall. And there are these clouds of the prettiest blue you've ever seen. It's so weird.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
He's a borderline blessing. Wow. And he's a playwright. The Social Network. Come on, guys. Now You See Me. There's two, three, third coming maybe? Zombieland. Oh! Fleischman in Trouble. Great show. When you finish Saving the World and his movie is out right now, A Real Pain, which is a bonafide great movie. I hope people check out this movie. It's so, so good. It's so unique and honest and great.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
No, no, just the side. I thought she could really pull off like kind of a punk. One side. One side shaved. I like that. Right? Picture her in that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I mean, they purposely named that because they're white supremacy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Isn't that fascinating? It's a fantastic movie. You did a fucking great job. It's really, really good and refreshing and new and interesting and a cool story. And Kieran's phenomenal and you're phenomenal. Thank you so much. I appreciate you saying that. Yeah. And I'm delighted that you accomplished so much in such short time and on such little money. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
We just had someone on who was just here talking. Oh, maybe Anna Kendrick. When you make a movie for such a low budget, you want two things. You want America to think it costs 100 million, but you want everyone to know you only have 3 million. Oh, that's brilliant. I want the credit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Of having made a big movie for a very little amount of money, but I want everyone to think it costs a hundred million.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Right. Puffy chair. We can name them probably. Yeah. Well, Jesse, this has been wonderful. I've enjoyed this so much. I hope everyone checks out A Real Pain. It's so, so good. What's interesting, it's Searchlight. This all makes sense because I watched a Disney debut, which is their like screening platform. But of course, Disney owns Fox and Fox Searchlight. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Just type in Holocaust on Disney+. Yeah, yeah, exactly. What if it said, I don't like to talk about that?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, how do you know it's you until you try on some looks?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
All right. Well, I enjoyed meeting you on the lot some 12 years ago, and now this has been even better. I hope everyone watches A Real Pain, and we would love for you to come back when you're doing it again.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I want to give a public shout out to the number one bunny in America, the number one rabbit, Carly Barton, my little sister. She got out all 1500 sweaters.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
She had to borrow the truck, multiple trips to the post office.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But she cranked. That little gal can work. I think I can always call her a little girl. It's not disrespectful on a feminine standpoint because it's my little sister. And she'll always be a little girl. I think she likes being a little sister.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah. I like being a little brother. I mean, I hated being a little brother, but now I like being a little brother.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah. Oh, here's something that I wanted to bring up because I always talk about things I love that I've seen. And I know you're never going to watch this, which really breaks my heart. But do you know about the Yacht Rock documentary on Max? My God, is it good?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Thank you. It's really good. And you know, I consider myself a student of Yacht Rock. As you know, since you've known me, Yacht Rock was my thing. It gives you the origin of Yacht Rock. It was a comedy sketch by these guys in the 90s. They coined the term Yacht Rock.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I knew all the players, of course, and you know my love for Steely Dan. But I got to be honest, I don't think I knew how much Steely Dan is the hub of all that music. I mean, you can trace all of it so perfectly to all just them being the nucleus. And you know, Steely Dan is my absolute favorite. I force people to talk about it all the time, especially when we have musicians.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So what a delight for me to hear that that was the glue that held all that together.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
He and I, well, Molly sent me the best video ever. If she says to her Alexa or whatever device she has, hey, Alexa, play good music. She did a video of this. It'll go playing Dax's playlist, like the playlist that Jimmy made for me is what Alexa thinks is good music.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
There's a few bands, I guess that's where the debate is like, where does the line, like Hall & Oates is not yacht rock, but that's so.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And then there are people like Kenny Loggins is one of the, he'd be on the Mount Rushmore of yacht rock, but he also danced in all the genres. He also had a lot of rock and a lot of pop and then all these seminal yacht rock jams.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Neither of those are... James Taylor is not Yowrock.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, if you watch the doc, they give you a pretty good framework for what it is.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So the band that's at the hub is, of course, Steely Dan. But then the individual that's the common connective tissue is Michael McDonald. He's in every single one of these things in some capacity.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Have you ever bought a car and then you got in the car and you're like, fuck, I don't think I can do this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You didn't tell anyone it was coming up? Because when I did Toto, I couldn't, whenever I was with the boys, I'm like, oh, dude, Toto said this, Toto said that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I need you to be brutally honest. So I was going to wear a hat because, as you know, I am involved, engaged in a two front war with the thickness of my hair.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And so I have a product that I have to use in the morning and at night. And it makes my hair terrible. I have an eyedropper, a drop, drop, drop, drop, drop. I just want it on my scalp. That's what I'm hoping. And then I try to get my fingers in there and just rub the scalp. But of course, it gets all over the hair. And then it's a pharmaceutical. So it's not like a hair product you'd want to use.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And so my hair just always looks bad, basically, because I'm putting it on in the morning and then at night. So take your pick. It's going to look bad. So I'm wearing a lot of hats lately because I don't want to deal with it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Or maybe I won't put in that product. I'll just I'll give up some some territory in this war. I might lose the battle today, but worth it so that I don't have to wear a hat at work.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And then so I was that was all happening. I just exercise went in there, cleaned up. What are we going to do here? Wear a hat. And I go, I'm not going to wear a hat. And now I'm here. And then just crossed my mind. Does my hair look crazy?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
On a day I'm not going to wear a hat, I would forego the treatment so that my hair doesn't look all goopy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But then I decided at the last minute when I came down, no, I'm not going to.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Like a big block of plastic on half my hair and then normal hair everywhere else.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It's a great idea, but I think if you'd use the product, you would know why that's not going to be an option for me because I do the eyedropper. Well, inevitably, it wants to start running down my forehead, and I don't think I can get it in my eyes. So I just got to immediately stop it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It's like you've spilled something on the counter, and it's making its way towards the edge, and it's going to go down on the floor. You got to really quick get involved. Oh, okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, that's front number one of the war. it's two front war i'm fighting in the front and in the back the middle we're fine i don't really need so most of my drops are all along the front and then it wants to because of gravity come down my face okay i have another idea what about q-tips what about if you put it on a q-tip and then you dab dab dab So I almost think I tried that method.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
The problem is, is like I've got an eyedropper and I don't know in milliliters, but it's a considerable amount of fluid. If I was going to douse a Q-tip, we would be in there for like 45 minutes to get enough of that fluid on the Q-tip, get that then transferred to the scalp, then go back because the Q-tip doesn't absorb all that much. And you're supposed to do two of the eyedroppers.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
We love Heather. As a human, I mean, I don't know much about the products, but she's a wonderful woman.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Because Kristen did a wicked tree and it's pink and green.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, you kind of answer the question. So that was my hobby as a kid. So I'm pretty mechanical and we have a tour bus. And I say to my wife every time we're in it, because the entire time we're operating, it's breaking. Like it's breaking real time as fast as I can fix anything. There's too much gadgetry on it. Of course.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, in full honesty, when I look at our wicked tree, I don't think wicked. No. I mean, green obviously is very embedded into the wicked aesthetic. Yeah. But I don't know about pink. Does that represent her?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, apparently it's an essential part of the sauce. Speaking of Ariana Grande.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Did I already say this on here? No. Oh, my sweetest little Delty.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
She has her first star, Sheila. Oh, my God, you guys. I love it so much. It's her version of Lincoln's Taylor Swift. She finally has her girl and it's Ariana Grande. And she has printed up. She goes on the Internet and finds she types in Ariana Grande color. It's in my phone as a search, which is problematic. But she uses my phone sometimes. Sure. It's like a drawing outline.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And then she prints up all these little things and then she colors them all day long. And then she's now telling me a lot of facts about Ariana Grande. And she wants to know when we're going to interview her.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I know. My gals did not shoot low. They have good taste. They went right for the stars. But boy, do I like it. And I really like, it's just so cute when you love something when you're little and you start gathering all the facts. And she's telling me about her vocal range and why she's special in this way, in that way. So cute. Oh, I love it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And I always say to Chris, I'm like, what is your normal person who's not a mechanic do with these recreational vehicles? Is yours in constant need of
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Instagram CEO, head of head of Instagram. I don't know what the title is, but I follow him. And, you know, there is a feature on Instagram where you can wipe your algorithm.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah. It's like if you're starting to see stuff too often that you don't like or maybe you watch. In my case, it would be like I watched a fight video. Because there are certain fight videos I love. If it's like a little guy that was getting bullied by a big guy in a car situation, he gets out and he happens to knock the guy out. I love that. Sure. But then they think I like every kind of fight.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And then I just, and then it's sticky. I kind of, it's hard for me to resist looking, watching fights. And I don't want to watch a bunch of fights. Yeah. So like that's a case I might go in there and like just wipe it and then start fresh. But that's a feature now.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
He's a very thoughtful person. mindful person that's trying to make that thing the best version of it. There's like a real commitment. Remember when he was here, they were going to hide likes.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But they tried, which I think in theory was a really kind of good idea.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But I do appreciate that there seems to be a lot of effort being made to keep it a kind of positive place.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Trying to dial down the polarization and stuff. Yeah. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. We are supported by Anytime Fitness. If you've been considering starting a fitness journey or if you're actively pursuing fitness goals, Anytime Fitness has everything you need, not just for bigger muscles, but for a bigger, better life.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
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Jesse Eisenberg
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Jesse Eisenberg
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Like I love that she's drawing pictures of her. I don't mind going on the internet and getting the little things, but I don't really want her just mindlessly ingesting a bunch of videos.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Probably at school. That's where you learn everything, right? Probably like one friend learns one thing and they add to the thing. The other friend's like, I heard she owns a Chihuahua. And you're like, yeah, you know, I don't think she owns, I don't even know if she owns a dog. That was just an example, a theoretical example. Sure.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
The last one was Charlie Brown Christmas and then half of Frosty. Have you watched any?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Again, I just think it'd be so trippy to be in one of those movies where like every single year everyone's reminded of you. It's like a hit song.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You don't get that with movies. People aren't like making time to watch.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Hurt Locker, which was an incredible movie, but in large part, I'll never be seen again.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So it's kind of a gift. It's a blessing to end up in one of these.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yes. Did they eat any plumbing? Because mice ate plumbing in my bus and it was so expensive because I have all this water. You know, I have two toilets and shit. They fucking ate through the plastic hoses. We went on vacation. All the water dumped on all the electronics, short circuited everything in the bus, the shades, the lights, everything. And then you found out later.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
When he had a scheduling conflict. But then they worked it out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You could have been, you could have been, I could have been in one of those where everyone remembers.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
They should re-release without a paddle and just give it a ton of Christmas songs. Maybe that'll be a good trick.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It's funny you would say that. Well, no, it's just set during Christmas. You know, I tried to do this with chips and I was a bit heartbroken because I love that just in the background of L.A. in Lethal Weapon was Christmas because it's so especially if you're from Michigan, it's weird that California is Christmas. How are they doing it? They don't have fucking snow or anything.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So I have this great scene between Michael Rosenbaum and Vincent D'Onofrio. And he pulls over Michael. And where we shot it is right at the 101 where you get off at Vine. So in the background was the Capitol Records building. And they always put this enormous Christmas light tree. It's like the shape of a tree on the roof. And it's so iconic.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And every shot I kind of built around making sure that was behind D'Onofrio. Uh-huh. And it was so great. And it was the opening scene. And I was like, oh, it's great. It's going to have a Christmas. And we have other Christmas stuff. But when that one went away, that scene didn't make the movie. It was a great scene on its own, but it didn't really service the movie all that well.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So that scene got left entirely unseen. And then it really took out the momentum of the Christmas aspect.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, because I love a little Papa Christmas in the movie. Everyone says triggers in a negative way, but there's really positive triggers.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Oh, yeah. Well, I think we think because everyone says I was triggered every fourth sentence.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
In popular culture, myself guilty of it, too. And it's never a good thing at the end of it. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
A coordinated effort by mice. What's the solution here? New fucking plumbing. But I mean, how do you get mice out of the things?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But you can't put a museum in the middle of someone's neighborhood. That does remind me. Last thing. Lincoln and Delta and I on Sunday, we went into Altadena. I think a bit because you and I had shot a commercial there.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So we were shooting a commercial there. And then I kind of remembered, I think they have a street here that's super Christmassy, known around town. So then I hit up Bree because she lives adjacent to Altadena.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And I said, isn't there a strange, oh yeah, you got to go Christmas tree lane. It's right by the public library, blah, blah, blah. So, and she said, we let the kids hang out the sunroof because you drive really slow. And I was like, okay, great. I got great tips. I'm going to bring the Raptor because it's got a huge sunroof.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, first I went on a mice killing spree, which was I put traps out in the bus with yummy, yummy peanut butter. Those ones were ethical. And this fell on my sister, unfortunately. She had to go release them in Griffith Park. I assume they came right back.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So Lincoln and Delta and I went up to Christmas tree lane and we spent two hours just crawling through all the neighborhoods, looking at all of the houses that were decorated. And there are some doozies. I'm so, I'm so proud of those people that put in that effort. Some of these displays, some, that was a week of installation for sure. There was, there was a full Christmas vacation house. Oh,
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
With like the characters there. There was someone had the lamp from Christmas story. You know, the dad wins that stupid lamp. It's a sexy leg with a stocking on it and then a lampshade and then the dogs break it. And he's so upset. My lamp, my lamp. And he spends his whole time gluing it back together. And that looks insane. Someone had one of the actual things in their window. Wow.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Someone put up this huge. It's like you're standing inside of a Christmas photo. They put a big border with Merry Christmas and it's lit. So you can get out and step behind it. So I got the girls standing behind.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Signs from the city. No parking during this time. It's designated as an attraction. And you just coast through. Wow. And people walk.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I can't reach the pedals. You have cruise control. Fuck, you're right, Rob. I should have set the cruise on six miles an hour. Maybe ghost ride it. It just got out and walked next to it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, it was really, really fun. And then we made the mistake of going to the In-N-Out in Altadena. And it was, it was a record. Waiting.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, it's like a little resting area before we take our next trip. Right, right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, Bree and I used to see those commercials because we would sing. That was our love song.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But we would say what made it our love song is we would say in and out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
We would say hand in burger. That's what made it a love song.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
One more thing about In-N-Out. My mother went to California when I was a kid, when I was a skateboarder. We couldn't believe she was going to California, USA. We had never been. We never even met people that went to California.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
When she came back, what she had seen while she was out there, this is what a good mom she was. She had seen other skateboarders and they had the In-N-Out sticker on their skateboards. It would say In-N-Out Burger and the skateboarders would cut off the B and the R. So it said In-N-Out Urge.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
oh and she brought back a stack of the stickers for david and i and she showed us how to cut off the thing cute yeah and were people like that's so cool man people thought it was really cool california like oh my god the land of fruit nuts i told you my my friend's mom said that yeah were you it was california like a crazy fantasy as well for you
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But just as a place long before, like I wanted to be in show business. It was just like, oh, they surf out there. They skateboard out there. There's palm trees out there.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Oh, see. OK, well, then that maybe. Yeah. Then it's a real place. So, of course, you wouldn't have had that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
The first time I went, I think my mom took me when I was maybe 14 or 15 to do legwork for a car show. So we were working.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But we flew and we went to Riverside. That's where the car show was. What? No disrespect to Riverside folks. Not the fantasy of California. Like a land, you're 50 miles from the ocean. Yeah. It's industrial. Yeah. It's sprawling. I was like, this is California. Oh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But then we went to San Francisco because we had legwork up there. And then we rode the trolley. Yeah. And I was like, well, this is a fantasy land.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You did? Mm-hmm. Your parents were good. Good parents.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
OK, great point. I didn't see how much debris there was underneath. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, they love insulation and wood.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I didn't know. I'm wondering what percentage of the audience will know immediately who I'm talking about. Because as soon as I heard Pepsi Girl, I could see her in my head. The spirally curls.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I want the best for her. I always have. Well, that's great.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I don't know if people with dimples like dimples, even though we all like their dimples.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Lincoln was just telling me that there are now a trend on social media is there's like a freckle filter. People put freckles on themselves. And what a turn of events. Everyone with freckles didn't want them.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
And I was trying to explain to her, look, here's how it goes, Link. Whatever you don't have, you want. I wanted curly black hair. Sure. Everyone with curly black hair wanted straight blonde hair. Yeah, exactly. I had a ton of freckles. It was like a fart cloud on my face. And of course, I didn't want freckles.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
There's probably too much like sun damage under. I bet if I got good, if I got like acidy facials, maybe it would reveal.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It's almost like I'm almost turning a person of color just on the arms. If you just saw my arms.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It's a cute name, too, for what it is. It's onomatopoeia.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
That would be the easiest thing for them to do for you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
No, I don't know if I understand how it works, but I do believe there's some kind of a facelift you can get with strings where they put string in your face somehow. So clearly they could just put the string in and suck that part of the string in. And if they haven't invented that, that's mine.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I want string involved. It's only $1,500. Oh, that sounds way too cheap for facial surgery. This is not where you want to save a buck.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
If you like two dimples, why wouldn't you like four?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
That you were obsessed with and turned out one of her parents was Indian.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Well, have a kid with carrot top or something. Ooh, that's a good idea.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah. Red curly hair. Dimples. And then I'm going to give her... Are there any Indians with red hair?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Because cricket infestation. Yeah. I don't know what's going on because they're here in the studio. And then when I'm in the hot tub at night, it's so loud behind my head, the crickets. It's interesting because in the summertime in Michigan, I love the sound of crickets. Yeah. In the hot tub at night or when we're recording, I hate it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Again, we had this moment last week where the guest was becoming very emotional and it was a very sweet moment. And like, it was almost like someone cued the cricket. Like there was a second. Crickets, crickets, crickets.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
The PA was like, cue the crickets. All of a sudden, the crickets were so loud in there. And I was like, oh, my God, this is so embarrassing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Just brew a pot of peppermint tea and just splash it everywhere?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
What if I took that mouse to court, like a small claims court, and I said, look, you need $3,500 worth of damage here on my bus. And the mouse is standing there. Maybe the mouse has a lawyer. I'm not sure.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But the mouse is just there. What do you say about this? And he's just like...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, and you don't want to be in a long-term negotiation. Just throw out your final number. Listen, I'm easy. We want to sell. The seller is very motivated. Exactly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah. I don't have such an interest in... or it's just more I had an interest in keeping my costume.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
That's different than the Will Ferrell kicking and screaming, though? I think it is.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Okay. I sent it to Kutcher the other day. I said, I don't know if I've already recommended this book or not. Sent him the link on Audible. And then he said, I'm pretty sure I'm the one who recommended this to you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
So that's like, yeah, Carly Simons goes in there, James Taylor, soft rock for sure. Yeah. Yacht rock is a subset of soft rock.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
You're writing a lot of checks that I don't know that your little buns are going to cash. We'll see.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Only to get 20 miles down the road and realize there's a major mechanical issue with the trailer.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Please enjoy Jesse Eisenberg, The Blessing. The blessing. You don't watch Christmas Vacation enough.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
OK, this is great. So cars can be so healing because you're saying you feel very confident and sounds like you're aggressive in the car. Ooh, I see where you're going. Yes.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
But I do think the car, so we, okay, you were brought home as a little tiny bambino to Queens? Wow, yes. Okay, but then when do we move to New Jersey? Wow. Oh, this is the tip of the iceberg. You're already impressed?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
That's very cursory. I'll get deeper. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have your physical from 10th grade.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
I was counting down the days till 16. I could not wait. But I grew up in a rural area of Michigan outside of Detroit. And in New Jersey, clearly kids were driving, right? You were probably anxious to get your permit and all that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Let's have Aunt So-and-So say grace. Grace? She's been dead for years. No, the blessing. They want you to say the blessing. He's pointing at his teeth or something. Why is he pointing? Because he's very old and he has a toupee and it catches on fire. A lot's going on on that. Please enjoy Jesse Eisenberg. We are supported by Audible. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
It's kind of like an acting exercise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, this is the greatest day of your life. So no matter what, that would be an acting exercise. This is the greatest day of your life, no matter what information you hear. And then I would say, thank you for coming in, Mr. Eisenberg. We just got your lab results back. And unfortunately, you are showing a very large tumor in your neck.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
No, the acting exercise is this is the greatest day of your life, despite whatever information. I get it, I get it. Okay, got it. Mr. Eisenberg. Let's take this back. Let's try it one more time. Okay, got it. Did you cut, Rob?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Don't ever cut. Wait till I yell cut. Yes, we did get your sonogram back of your chest and you have a very large mass.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Eight to 12 inches, it seems like on the scan. So virtually your full left lobe of your lung.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jesse Eisenberg
Oh, my God. Well, congratulations. You're going to love it. It's a great show. Be patient of the first three episodes. OK.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. We are supported by Audible. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Would it be disrespectful if I'm enjoying a snack while you guys are singing? I'd prefer it. Okay, great. Dinner theater.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Hannah, do you want to do a musical at any point?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
That's almost a huge burn, but I... It wasn't a burn.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Did you go to the thing Kristen went to? Which one?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Mama had the best week of her entire life. She almost didn't come home.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
12 years younger. On those FaceTimes, I was like, oh my God, mom's 26 right now. Look at her. Your face, yeah, was so youthful. You were with all your Broadway friends. That does something so special to you. Yeah. It's very, very sweet. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
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Holiday Spectacular 2024
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Holiday Spectacular 2024
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
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Learn more at Columbia.com. We are supported by Pokemon and their incredible Pokemon trading card game. The Pokemon trading card game is a gift this holiday season that will delight gamers, collectors, and Pokemon fans alike. Parents, maybe you grew up collecting Pokemon or watching the show on Saturday mornings. Well,
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Holiday Spectacular 2024
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Find gift ideas for all ages and at every price point at tcg.pokemon.com slash holiday. Should we... I think we should hear... Are you guys ready to play your song? I also have one quick question ergonomically. Is it easy to... to sing seated? Is that not a challenge?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You've got on your knees. That's a compromise.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And you've got a built-in excuse. I was sitting. Can you imagine what that would have sounded like if I was standing?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Just in case. Really slather it on guilt-free.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
What's your sister's name? Allie. She must be a genius. She really loves this show. She loves this show. She sounds so smart and compassionate and evolved.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Okay, so you know, I want to make it very clear. You're my all-time queen of the bell, the ball. You're the number one singer in my heart of all time. So you know that. But I do need to talk about Emma's voice for a second.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
No. You're like a racehorse. Racehorses, they can like, can it walk? I don't know. And then all of a sudden it fucking takes off and it's just like... Or like a car, a motor, you guys will know, with a huge cam. It sounds like it's not even going to roll. And then you hit the gas and it's fucking out of there. There is something so... Just... Powerful.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And it just like, it just shoots into the air. It's really, I love it. I don't think I heard you sing enough.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You can't teach timbre. No, can't teach timbre. No, that's what they say. Can't teach timbre. Can't teach timbre. Can't teach timbre new tricks.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Jacob, are you in need of a hat? Are you still pushing your merch brand?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
because we talked about the fact that I was walking by UCB, you were sitting behind the counter and I walked in and you were currently listening to that song at work.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
He had diarrhea is what I remember from the story. Yeah. Justin Timberlake had her explosive diarrhea.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Have you guys ever heard my version? I have to cover my face because it'll make everyone uncomfortable. This is like a real Monica. Okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Okay, welcome everybody to the Christmas episode.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You searched timbre, I think. Best timbre.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Okay, so we have really fun guests. Of course, people will know you, Anna Kendrick. People know you, Kristen Bell. People are going to, a lot of people will know you guys, but a lot of people will be meeting you. Yeah. Gabe Gibbs. Yeah. I got to see you for the first time perform. What were you guys doing? What was that called? A cabaret show.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
It's about goddamn time, Rob. That is the gift, yeah. I ride him like a rented mule, so he deserved that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Gabe, do you have a favorite Christmas present you remember from your childhood? in Michigan on Big Beaver Road, Exit 69 in Rochester?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And you had a big old crush in sixth grade, early developer. Timber was coming in nicely.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
G2G. And I imagine then too, you had some limited data on your hands.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You had a fucking Dyno? Remember Dino GTs? Yeah, you're a dick.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
No, kids had mongooses and they wanted dinos. Cool, yeah. What did your old man do for a... He sold insurance. Oh, I bet he did quite well.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And first check in the great category is you're a Michigander. Yeah, baby. Yeah. If the hat didn't.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
It's a light bulb, right, that cooks the food?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I'm bad at birthdays and Christmas as if there's a bunch of other gift opportunities. You're just straight across the board bad at gifts.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
We have been on vacations to places that she's like, I'd like to go to Colorado once. We've been a couple of times, you know, that kind of thing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And where are you from in Michigan, Gabe? I'm from like Rochester area. Right. Yeah. We talked about that. Exit 69, Big Beaver. That's right. That was your exit. That's right. That's a for real thing. It is. Anna, you don't know that about Michigan.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Oh, and there's a dinner involved, and you go to his apartment.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
By far, and I just shout out to Laura LeBeau because we were broke as hell, but she went hard on Christmas. We had great fucking Christmas. She would go in debt, and she always gave us a good one. And I must have been five because we lived in this shithole. And I came out, and there was a plastic IndyCar the size of this table. It probably would be a Power Wheels now.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I don't know if that was the brand back then. But it was a little car I could drive. And I drove it until the battery's dead. Then I charged it. Then I drove it. And then I drove it. And the embarrassing part is I drove it way too long. Then we moved into a neighborhood and I was still, I was driving it at like 11.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Sometimes I'd get nostalgic and I would drive it down my neighborhood street and I would be super embarrassed, but I still would do it. Yeah. I just, the steering wheel broke and I steered it with pliers for a while. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
No, that was my worst present because my grandpa, Papa Bob, he bought my brother and I these Firefox remote control cars. We wanted them so bad. And then my uncle and my brother played with them before Christmas for so long that they were broken and then put them in the boxes and we unwrapped them. And they were broken. And then they were sold out of Firefox. And then this is my chandelier.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Big Beaver Road is exit number 69 on I-75.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
My what's the sleds name? You know, Rosebud. This was my Rosebud. And Kristen found a Firefox on eBay or somewhere and got it for me for Christmas. And she healed that wound. And it broke within 10 minutes of driving. So I can't even blame my uncles.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yeah, yeah. They were the Easy Bake Oven of the RC car world, for sure. Okay, what other songs do we have?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
So fucking many. I told you this. Someone was having a very emotional moment on the couch. And the second they were having this emotional moment, the crickets started.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Good idea. Well, let's have a snake in here. We're just wandering around the podcast.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Do you not know what Monica's number one fear in life is?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
A snake coming out of your, going up your butt from the toilet bowl.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
He's upset about the election, he's on strike.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. This is the one I am most excited to indulge myself with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And then where are you from? I'm from South Florida. You are? Yeah. Okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Jacob Jeffries. Yeah. And you and Wobby Wob already know each other.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I got to give a personal stamp of approval. It's so good.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
With cutting-edge genetic testing and biomarker analysis, you can create a health plan that is tailored just for you. As you know, we're both in this study now, And I've been going back to 23andMe and ordering different results, which is so cool. It's all sitting there for me to do.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
It is. Advocate for your health today. Go to 23andMe.com slash DAX for your limited time offer. That's 23andMe.com slash DAX.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yeah. She said rainbows really know how to fly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
She was lost. That gets you out of the copyright issue. Just throw rainbows in.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
We were talking about whether a Brazilian had the landing strip or not. And then somehow we learned, this was just a couple weeks ago, that Wobb gave himself a landing strip just to make Natalie laugh. Wobb, in the comments, I'm sure you've seen people love that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And they kept it too. They're like, Mike, she said rainbows, right? Yeah, just keep it. Okay. Well, I think,
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Do we want to do our culinary surprise? I just want to say that we were talking yesterday in a fact check and I was lamenting about how bad I am at giving gifts. And then Monica said, well, think of secret turkey so fun because you have to make it. And then I thought, OK. That's what I'm going to do.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
So we'll all go outside. There's a buffet set up.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And we'll make a plate, and then we can eat in open presence.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Now, full disclosure, I have helped for Kristen's Christmas. I don't want to act like she has a stylist, Nicole, who has the best taste of any person in the world. Everything Nicole gets, Kristen wants. So three years ago, I was like, hey, Nicole, since you know what she's going to want, could you help me?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
So I have a lot of help, but I still, I feel unethical about that, so I still get some stuff on my own. So if this is a miss, it's because Nicole had nothing to do with this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Is Wicked Theme for your... Now that's where Carly comes in, I think, because I just did the rap job, and I did not affix the ribbon.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
It was a total trap. I walked right into it. And then shout out Carly for putting out the buffet outside.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
She made the garlic bread. I made the spaghetti sauce.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yeah, he's a wascal. OK, so we're going to sing a bunch of songs. We're going to learn some backstory on Christmas, favorite presents, that type of thing. We're going to eat a lot of cookies and sweets. Wobby Wob, of course, always makes really delicious cookies and Rice Krispie treats. And then I have a surprise to a culinary surprise. And so we'll be breaking to chow down at some point, too.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yeah, it's some collab between Panda Prank and Nike.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I should just return the rest of your presents, actually.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
If you loved them so much, you'd be putting them on.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
They do one-off designs of existing brands, is my understanding of it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yeah, because now I'm in their algorithm because I bought one pair of shoes, so I see every single pair of shoes they design, and they're all pretty cool. Nice.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I have a present? You got a present. What the heck? Also, I learned at the buffet bar that you're in Wolfpack, which I can't believe I didn't know that. That's so embarrassing to me.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
We have three world-class present givers in this room right now.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
No, no, no. This is awesome. Thank you so much. I couldn't live within five miles of Emily Burger.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I would be dead within six, seven years, I think.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
The biggest beaver you've ever seen. I love beavers.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Anna, you're not going to like this, but... Oh, no.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And then we'll do a gift exchange. And that's the run of the show. So what I would love to do, instead of trying to describe, Gabe, your genius, I would love to start with a little taste of your focus as a musician.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You don't need to bring anything. Yeah, I'm not doing your Christmas show. You're doing our Christmas show. We were interviewing you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You were talking about going to your audition in your combat boots.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And I said... I know what this is. Yep. And it broke my heart that you wouldn't have the best boots a lady can have.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Now, watch how nervous Kristen is because she was a part of me looking online for these.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yeah. And there were ones I liked where she was like, absolutely not. And then I just waited until she left and then I decided.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
They were not. They were a compromise, but I still love them. They're perfect. They have fur. They're fur. The boots with the fur.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And I said, my girl can't ever wear the, oh, loved it. It's a great brand, Payless. It's just, Docs for me were the thing. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I also have to say one thing. I bought you something. Thank you. It says it came. I searched the entire house today. It's not here. I reordered it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You're a woman of means. You can buy your own shit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Also, huge shout out to Wobby Wob because the garage looks insane.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Let's get you seated for this birthday boy. You got your own song, but that's not where it ends.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Okay. I'm excited to see how Mama handled this. I just want to say for this one, Kristen spent at least seven and a half hours on the phone this week and was unsuccessful.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
It's so fun. It's so close. Your kids will love it. There's a little slide. The fucking buffet is the best in the biz.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
That's for me. That and the big one. That and the big one. And what's that for money? Okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Don't worry about the armchair expert wrapping paper.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Who's, again, I got to say, when I said there's three exemplary gift givers in this room, Wobby Wob is.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yeah, that's what on a set it would be. When you get that stupid fucking shopping bag.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
It's the nesting doll. It's a skeleton inside of a sand people.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And thank you, Lincoln and Delta. I stole the tree out of their bedroom and they don't know that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Now again, if you're listening, you can't smell it. And even if you're watching, you can't smell it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Flamingo Estate, Los Angeles, California. Ooh, these are really nice. You know about these? What is this? It's olive oil.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
It pairs nicely with elk. Mine says Wabi Sabi for Wabi Wabi.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
It's a lot of protein. And now I'll get a little omega in them too. And let's both say something at the same time. Three, two, one. For the listener, I almost kissed Rob's lips. Here we go. Ever since I learned about that landing strip, I'm just having the most confusing feelings about you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Oh, Rodman and Isaiah Thomas, 88-89. Pissed it. You were too young, but that was the team. Oh my God, that's so cool.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Oh, this is great. Oh, I got a piggy. Whoa. Oh, great, and this has Yeti wrapping paper, not to be confused with the cooling brand. An actual Yeti. Does it smell?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I'm going to, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to play a game where you guys will see it first.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Guessing on your reaction, I'm going to see if I can figure out what it is.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Okay, so Gabe, it seems like it might be a bad car accident. Is that what it is? Someone eating a corpse?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Oh, wow. It's a pencil drawing? It's beautiful.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Sorry, before we kick off, just a quick vote. I know where you two stand, but are you a white light or a colored light person on your Christmas tree? Ooh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Your eyes aren't that good. How'd you get that?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
No, you got it. But we both know you and I are blind.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Oh, my God. That's gorgeous, Wobby Wob. Thank you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Thoughtful son of a bitch. Three, two, one. Three, two, one. We say something.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
All came out in the wash. Okay. So, we've had our pasta. We've had some desserts. It's time to land the plane hard with some more music. So, musical director, what's our next offering?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I don't even like that song and I loved it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You were doing like the Apple photo thing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Stronger for it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. No, I had a great fucking year.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
We had a lot of fun trips. Kids just get more and more and more interesting and funny and more fun to be around. Yeah. We had a great year work-wise.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
We're going to bring in a closer, closing pitcher. And this, a lot of people know Perfect Ten Charlie, and they know he's married to Erica, and they've met Perfect Ten Charlie on here, and now you're going to get to meet Erica on here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
She's a boss bitch. She's tough, cool, radical, the kind of gal that Kristen falls in love with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Hi, Erica. Welcome to the program. We gave you an intro, but you weren't in the room.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
We're saying your praises. Pull that mic a little closer to yourself. Okay, hi. Although you got a big old fucking powerful... That's right, I'll turtle it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
He's going to what? Anyways, in our intro, we said people know Perfect 10 Charlie. Yes, yes. And now the beautiful bride.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Takes a big woman to live up to those looks, and boy, does she do it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
They're bullies though. That's the only thing I don't like about them. They're always shoving guys in lockers. And then singing about it. Okay, I also just want to say, for my money, this is my favorite Christmas song in the world. This is number one.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Oh, that's too much pressure? Okay, I just broke one of the rules. That's all right. Theater rules.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
It's the one to watch. Yeah. It's who brought you to the party.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I'm going to tell one second story. This is my mother encouraged me to do this back in the old days. I was trying to explain this to our children and they could not conceptualize what I was saying. I was like, girls, there was only three channels. That's it. And if you didn't see it, you missed it. And there was no way to record it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
and these bastards in Detroit, you had two, four and seven, they would counter programs. So you'd have the Grinch on channel two at eight and you would have Charlie Brown on channel four at eight and you had to fucking pick and you were seven and it was not cool. And my mother said, you should write a letter to the stations. And I did, I wrote a letter to the stations and they did not respond.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
But I do think streaming might be a result of that letter.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Well, there's so many good ones on the list.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Oh, right now, Charlie Brown's on Apple Plus, and I think everyone can watch it for free right now. I think that particular cartoon can be watched on Apple Plus for free.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Now we're talking. Apple Plus. Now Christmas is here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
It is. Good job. This was Kristen. You guys just did this in your choir class. So she's just coming off of hearing it with like 25 of you singing. So I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart because I know that's not how you wanted to do it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You got a bogey too, right? You guys all have a guy no one knows, which I love. Now you probably do.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I can't go to my AA meeting anymore, but that's okay. I'm sure we've prioritized the right thing in the house.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I'm so glad you guys have that. Kristen's always so happy when she comes home from that. It's so nurturing to her, her beautiful little soul. Mama, thank you. You put this whole thing together.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You rehearsed. You swindled everyone into coming and doing this. And thank you so much for doing that. Erica, thank you for popping by. Gabe, thank you so much. Jacob, come on now. You've been more excited. Hannah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Of course I am. All right. I love you guys. Merry Christmas.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
May everyone get a dino this year. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
So the thing I hope people are tracking is like just a month ago, Anna said, you know, Kristen texted me and I really felt bad. I ghosted her because I was just nervous. And then we fixed that. And then you guys started texting.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I love Audible. I swear by Audible. I can't wait to listen to the Orwell 1984 off this list. I'm also doing Fleas by autobiography right now, which I'm obsessed with. I can't get enough Audible in my life every night. Go to audible.com slash DAX and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash DAX.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And now you're singing together. I have so much optimism about where this is going. Now we find out about this spectacular design Christmas display.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Did I pull out some of my eyebrows this morning? No, I didn't.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
She wanted to brag that she helped kids today.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Oh, that's sweet. Okay, Gabe, why don't you rock our world a little bit?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And they're on your Instagram. You have the most entertaining Instagram posts. Of all, what do people go to for that?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
It's so good because it's also really great. It's great that something's really funny and also really great. Thank you. So what is your background? Have you been on Broadway?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Okay, this is great because people may remember a while back, you and I have debated which is better, acetaminophen or ibuprofen. We sure have. So for me, particularly headaches, I got to go Tylenol.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yeah. And then now you moved to LA, how many years ago?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yes. Okay, I have a favorite and I've requested that you play it and I think that's next.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Those are the bits. And there's a couple thousand of them on his Instagram. So cool. Kristen spends a good hour and a half every night on her little space age mat.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Okay, so we've got quite a few Christmas songs to get through and quite a few great singers. So I think we should hop into- Switcheroo? Yeah, let's do a switcheroo.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You're so playful when you say if you've got a big one.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I was praying you'd say it. I'm not allowed to say it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yeah, you won't even play. What about for headaches, though?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Exactly. We just have not yet talked. In 17 years, we've not gotten around to ballet yet.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Other than the fact that I was in ballet for some period of time.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, a tiny, I had one recital, and my dad, who was never around, did come to that, and he watched the thing, and then when we were leaving, he said to my mother, okay, that was his last recital. There's no more of that. How old were you in Michigan? I similarly. I was probably seven. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
The gods have intervened, and we have a perfect solution. Motrin and Tylenol have finally settled the great debate by teaming up and introducing Motrin Dual Action with... Tylenol.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yeah, that's something you could do in 1982. You could unilaterally say, and that's a wrap on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a dad that's not around, but I still have this veto card.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Buck Rogers and I'm joined by Monica Lightyear. What would the holidays be without crazy holiday stories on Armchair Anonymous?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Okay. So you throw sand under the bus. Of course. Okay. That's what he's there for.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Let them pick out what they wanted.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Yes. People get cancer diagnoses. Those are worse. But. When you have just spent this much time getting the gifts, then wrapping them, then putting them perfectly in the thing, there's a lot that's going wrong at once. You've wasted all that time, all that money, and then you have Christmas morning coming. So there's a lot there to be frustrated with. Third option, I would have just gone cash.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Okay, Santa brought cash this year. He wanted you to know you're old enough to go shopping, like made a whole thing about that. Just spent like in a pinch.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
We'll wrap each bill individually.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Tracy, where in Canada are you? You have the most specific accent, and I'm so curious.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
I had a weird hunch, because it's almost got a hint of Scottish in it, doesn't it, Monica?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
And home to the cutest dogs ever.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Yes. Thank you, Tracy. And sorry that you guys went through that. I love that the perfect buzz with the snowflakes turned immediately to a hangover. That's kind of my favorite part because I know that moment.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
But I do like Motrin for muscle pain.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Yeah, you won't even play.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Sure. Do a few check-ins with those gifts leading up. Well, Tracy, that was a delightful story. Thank you so much for telling us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Sure, of course. Hello, Sean.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
What about for headaches though?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
You were being a very nice gentleman and taking the trash out. This is not on you. And it's not on Tracy, but it is on Tracy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Well, it's lovely meeting both of you. Yes. Have a great holiday.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
All right. Bye-bye. Yeah, they have like almost Irish accents. The dad did too. All right. Let's talk to Lori. Hi. Is this Lori?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Hi, Dax. Monica, nice to meet you. Are you in your office?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
And what's your university poster I see?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
In Ohio still, not in Kentucky.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Oh, beautiful. And that's the home of Josh Hutcherson. Do you know that actor? He's a Northern Kentucky boy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
The gods have intervened and we have a perfect solution. Motrin and Tylenol have finally settled the great debate by teaming up and introducing Motrin dual action with Tylenol.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Okay, so you have a crazy holiday story.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Yeah, I feel like that would be a good crowd to stumble into. They're like older gals who are making an effort to stay healthy. They're probably engaged in a lot of ways in life.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Oh, they were doing stealing before the reveal. That's different. That is interesting. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
I think they may have. Why just use one when you can have both? The pain-targeting strength of Motrin united with the pain-blocking power of Tylenol. Ibuprofen is the active ingredient in Motrin, and acetaminophen is the active ingredient in Tylenol. Motrin plus Tylenol brands provide over 100 years of combined pain relief experience in one product.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
You can say a bullshit from other people's houses.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
This is not what I thought.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
I thought it was a dildo. Oh, for sure. No. That's where we were going.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
You knew it was. Who would give someone an obligation?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Okay. So this is healing, maybe.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Apple Card is the perfect card for your holiday shopping. You can apply on your iPhone in minutes and start using it right away. You'll earn up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase, including products at Apple, like a new iPhone 16 or Apple Watch Ultra. Start holiday shopping for your friends and family today with Apple Card.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Subject to credit approval, Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch. Terms and more at applecard.com.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
we are supported by quince tis the season of holiday gifting but finding the perfect gift can be pretty overwhelming for timeless gifts made from premium materials at an affordable price quince has your back quince lets you treat your loved ones and yourself to quality essentials like their mongolian cashmere sweaters which start at just 50 that's an elevated gift at a
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
price that won't break the bank or for more winter coziness try their super soft fleece sweatpants or their packable puffer jackets both perfect for anyone who's traveling for the holidays yes okay they also have they're called ultra stretch point p-o-n-t-e straight leg pants and they are really really great they're great for travel they're very cozy
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Gift luxury this holiday season without the luxury price tag. Go to quince.com slash dax for 365-day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash dax to get free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash dax
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Whatever your needs, Tylenol and Motrin are here to help. Fast-acting, long-lasting. Buy Tylenol, Motrin, and Motrin Dual Action with Tylenol on Amazon or at a store near you. Use product only as directed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Now you have someone else's ashes.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Right. If she was 58, you thought she was 70.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
We'll get Mark all spread out over the... Right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Oh, my God. Oh, it was a prank.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Yeah. Did you laugh with relief at that point? Like, oh, thank God I don't have to spread this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
I admire this woman because when the present was opened, everyone got uncomfortable. And that was an opportunity if she was losing her resolve to go like, I'm just kidding. It's from, you know, but she resisted and she let everyone walk away thinking she was nuts. The commitment to this bit is really admirable. We must tip our hat to her.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
But she was intrinsically motivated, which we would all aim to be. She just knew in her own heart, this is hilarious. They all think this is real. That's next level. That's like Andy Kaufman.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
I kind of like her. I would have been friends.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Baller prank, especially at an all ladies, some widow Christmas party. Yeah. Yeah. That's something you might expect at a fraternity or the Friars Club. Sure, sure. Right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Well, Lori, we're grateful that you told us that. I like that woman. This now past woman.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Rest in peace. Spunky gal.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Well, happy holidays to you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
I hope you get a legit present this year at White Elephant.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
All right. Take care. Okay. Last one. David. Bring us home, David. Oh, can you hear us now? Hey, how are you? Wonderful. How are you, David?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Yeah. So David, I had moved into a house. It was completely empty. I didn't know what to do. I just started surfing around the internet, looking at images I could order. And I stumbled upon this one. I'm like, I love that great Dane. And I have another one that matches and it's a whippet. Oh, yeah. Best Frisbee dogs. Sure, sure. They're lightning fast. Where are you at, David?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
I live in Gilbert, Arizona. Where's that?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Hi, Tracy. Nice to meet you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Okay. Very similar vibes to Detroit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Both heavy industry towns with a lot of drinking.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Funny you say that. Oh, ding, ding, ding. It's what this story's about. Okay, wonderful. Please tell us about it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Oh, lovely. Right. So he chopped a little hole by the ladder.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
I think they put too much wood. You tell me, do we know post-mortem what happened?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
And what's your journey? What happened with your drinking?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
I can really relate to the scene you were at. I was at a lot of those scenes.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
That was a hot car in the day, the Pathfinder. Yeah. Everything burned.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Hello, Bridget. Did you say Bridget and Crystal? No. Correct. Hello to them.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Yeah. What a great story. I'm really there. It sounds like a Michigan party or two I've been to.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Hold on a second. You do not look nearly old enough to have had a 13-year-old in 2004.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
All right. Take care, David. Bye. I love that the swimming under the frozen.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
It was a red herring. And for people who didn't see the photo he put up, there's just one little hole chopped by the ladder. So they're swimming under the ice.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
We thought for sure this was a drowning story.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Everyone, the tequila and the keg is here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
More wood, more plunging, more, more, more, more.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Let there be a warning of the holidays that are upon us. Keep your eyes peeled for.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
I guess with a prompt like crazy holiday stories, it's going to be. It does make me miss Grandma's on Fire, Nana's on Fire story. Remember that one?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
And Nana was fully ablaze. It wasn't Nana. It was like Mimi or something cute.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
We have. These holidays, they keep producing terrible stories. All right. I love you. Happy holidays, everybody. Jingle, jingle.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Also, you're looking very foxy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
They got them. They're going to keep coming. These are great. Hopefully they'll get you in the mood. Let me just quickly glance and make sure no animals have died prematurely. No, that's fine. Yeah, I think we're good here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
They never hurt. It's a big deal.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Nothing's scarier than a crawl space.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Yeah. Going to the holiday strong with crazy holiday stories. We are supported by Audible. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. This is the one I am most excited to indulge myself with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
And we chucked all your presents. We had gotten you all the stuff you wanted.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
You've wrapped up a bunch of bullshit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
He liked the 10-year-old comic books.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
across AI-powered email, SMS, analytics, and more. Klaviyo powers smarter digital relationships for more than 151,000 successful brands, including Hedley & Bennett, Fishwife, and Dagny Dover. Build smarter digital relationships with your customers. Visit klaviyo.com to make every moment count. We are supported by Columbia Sportswear. I love Columbia Sportswear.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Well, there's so many good ones on the list.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Trusted brand. I just got a black puffer that's so sleek, and I got a very earth-tony fleece.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
I'm ready for it, and I'm going to be adorned in Columbia sportswear. From snowy trails to city streets, Columbia has you covered. Their OmniHeat Infinity jackets are the gold standard in warmth, pushing the boundaries of innovation.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Inspired by space blanket technology, OmniHeat Infinity uses an expanded pattern of metallic gold dots to reflect more body heat, delivering instant warmth without compromising breathability. With Columbia's OmniHeat Infinity, you'll feel the difference as thermal reflective technology wraps you in warmth, whether you're hiking mountains or conquering your daily grind. Learn more at Columbia.com.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
I love Audible. I swear by Audible. I can't wait to listen to the Orwell 1984 off this list. I'm also doing Fleas by autobiography right now, which I'm obsessed with. I can't get enough Audible in my life every night. Go to audible.com slash DAX and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash DAX.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
We are supported by Pokemon and their incredible Pokemon Trading Card Game. The Pokemon Trading Card Game is a gift this holiday season that will delight gamers, collectors, and Pokemon fans alike. Parents, maybe you grew up collecting Pokemon or watching the show on Saturday mornings. Well, how fun would it be to bond with your kids over Mewtwo's psychic prowess?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Or how Pokemon can evolve from a cute Charmander to a fiery flying Charizard? Games are such a great way to get the whole family together. And if you don't already know how to play, no worries, because it only takes minutes to learn. Plus, Pokemon cards are not just fun to play with, they're also a joy to collect.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
They come in a variety of cool and captivating styles created by different artists, so there's something for everyone.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Find gift ideas for all ages and at every price point at tcg.pokemon.com slash holiday.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
She likes that she was thought of by Santa. Yeah. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
That's informative. Maybe we put too much effort into it. Just wrap shit up, dump it under the tree.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare II
Okay, this is great because people may remember a while back, you and I have debated which is better, acetaminophen or ibuprofen. We sure have. So for me, particularly headaches, I got to go Tylenol.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Rather, and I'm joined by the Duchess of Duluth.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Well, I'm also wondering if she's just hammered. Is she just an old drunk? Does she get shit face and come up with these crazy ideas and she's got to get over to your property? And it could be a lot of things. It's the guns that really turn into something that needs to be taken seriously.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Visit klaviyo.com to make every moment count. We are supported by Audible. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. This is the one I am most excited to indulge myself with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
You know what we need societally? We need some rung between jail and total freedom. You're not rounding them up and throwing them in a like mental institution, but there's gotta be like a state run kind of retirement home we could put you in. Some option that's not incarcerating them, but also this gal probably needs some supervision.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
You're Yosemite Sam on your yard popping off pistols.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, wow. And you still live next to her. So there's more to come.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I hope you'll write us if there's any update in this story because I have a bad hunch.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I mean, you're still right next to each other.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, boy. I'm sorry. Last thing you think you're going to be living in fear of is an old, old lady.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Well, Katie, I wish you a ton of luck with Miss Grendel. Glendal. Glenda. Miss Glenda. Miss Grundle.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, good job. Take more people on car rides.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Well, great meeting you, Katie. Be well and good luck with her. All right, you too. All right, bye. Bye.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Staying cozy in the winter months is essential, and therapy can be a great way to bring yourself some comfort that never goes away, even when the seasons change.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Well, if you've ever been considering starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's completely online, so it's easy to integrate into your schedule. BetterHelp is flexible, too. It's easy to book or move appointments on their platform. And if the therapist you're matched with isn't the right fit, you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash DAX today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P dot com slash DAX. We are supported by Audible. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
This is the one I am most excited to indulge myself with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Well, there's so many good ones on the list.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I love Audible. I swear by Audible. I can't wait to listen to the Orwell 1984 off this list. I'm also doing Fleas by autobiography right now, which I'm obsessed with. I can't get enough Audible in my life every night. Go to audible.com slash DAX and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash DAX. Maya, Mia, Maya, Miramara, Miranmar. Hello.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
It's Mia. I threw that out there as an other option.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
It sounds like someone's using an electric toothbrush behind you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Welcome to our world. Every time we start to record, it's like, oh, they're going to mow the grass right now.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
No, no, we'll party. People are used to hearing a bunch of shit. Okay, where are you at, Mia?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Well, there's so many good ones on the list.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I just have to say there's something crazier about that than even fucking.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, wow. He's eating her out from behind. Can I ask one question about the neighbor? What age would you say she was?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I love Audible. I swear by Audible. I can't wait to listen to the Orwell 1984 off this list. I'm also doing Fleas by autobiography right now, which I'm obsessed with. I can't get enough Audible in my life every night. Go to audible.com slash DAX and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash DAX.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Okay. Not 60. No. I feel like that would be really relevant. Okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, wow. Yeah. They're kinky. You think this is a kink?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Well, pretty high if you get eaten out in the lobby. Yeah, pretty high someone's going to see.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I don't feel like these people ever get paired with the right people. Like I would have been the dream neighbor for her. I would have been very encouraging of this behavior. I would have thought it was spectacular. You never get the neighbor you want.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
They don't. They want me to be shocked and horrified.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
So did it ever escalate beyond the getting eaten out in the foyer of the building?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I'm going to go out on a limb and say she might have also had a little bit of a drinking problem herself. She might have. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Okay, wow. What are the odds? Mia, that was incredible. I'm sorry you witnessed that. And I'm also jealous that you witnessed that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, no. He's so cute. Do you have the roundest cheeks, Crosby? Hi, little buddy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, my goodness. Hi. Congratulations.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Could be on the cover of like American, that's too outdated, American Eagle. Abercrombie? Yeah, Abercrombie family.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
All right, well, nice meeting all of you. Congratulations. Take care.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
He was so cute. Chew on the cheeks a little bit. Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp. I like to chomp on cheeks. Do any chomping on Delta's cheeks when you had the chance?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Chomp, chomp, chomp. Hello? Can you hear us?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Can you hear me? Yes, we got you. Is it Eric? It is, yes. Okay, wonderful. I'm loving the room you're in. It's throwing me back to my uncle's rec room in the basement of the house. Very wood. I love it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
And is this the home in which you had a crazy neighbor or does it predate this house?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, my God. Like maybe she had gifted that to the previous owner. Exactly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, wonderful. Home of Mr. Clinton, yeah?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Anonymous. Today is crazy neighbor stories.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Of course. Are you in Little Rock?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, okay. So that's a beautiful part of the country.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
What kind of fucking psycho are you? Were you able to identify the carcass immediately? Or did you know what kind of animal?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Ozark's a party, right? I need to get out there on a boat at some point.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yeah. Did you grease this kid 10 bucks or anything?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
We are supported by Quince. Tis the season of holiday gifting, but finding the perfect gift can be pretty overwhelming. For timeless gifts made from premium materials at an affordable price, Quince has your back. Quince lets you treat your loved ones and yourself to quality essentials like their Mongolian cashmere sweaters, which start at just $50. That's an elevated gift at a
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
price that won't break the bank or for more winter coziness try their super soft fleece sweatpants or their packable puffer jackets both perfect for anyone who's traveling for the holidays yes okay they also have they're called ultra stretch point p-o-n-t-e straight leg pants and they are really really great they're great for travel they're very cozy
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Gift luxury this holiday season without the luxury price tag. Go to quince.com slash DAX for 365-day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash DAX to get free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash DAX. We are supported by Squarespace. If you've been to the Armchair Expert website, you've seen Squarespace in action.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
WabiWab made our website using Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. What I love about Squarespace is aside from the functionality, it's just so visually pleasing. And Rob was able to whip this up in no time with all the incredible templates that were available to him.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, boy. Yeah. Why? You just like the name?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Squarespace just looks good. And Squarespace optimizes your website for every device so it looks incredible whether users are on their computer, phone, or tablet. No matter what type of site you want to build, Squarespace can help you make it. Want to make an online store? Squarespace makes checkout seamless for your customers with simple but powerful payment tools.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
That's squarespace.com slash DAX to get started today.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Well, and minimally you go, hey, this is escalating. So they were shouting from the fence. Now we've got carrying attached to the bumper. What's next? Exactly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Do you think they called her and said, hey, take your foot off the gas on your neighbor? We're aware of what's going. Why do you think it stopped and she didn't continue to escalate?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
You're absolutely right. Okay, so you have a crazy neighbor story.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yeah, they didn't want to take it with them. I wish I could talk to her because my big curiosity now after hearing the whole story is, were they slashing prices on a broom, dustpan, frisbee combo? And she's like, I'm going to pick up five of these and I'll give them out. Right. Or is every time someone moves and she's like, oh, I know the perfect thing to get. And then she goes and gets a new one.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
When you move out, that would have been great if you left it next to the other one. I did.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
It's kind of like a horror movie.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I'm always encouraged when women turn out to be shitty as well, like men are, because we're just so universally shitty. It's nice when women are shitty. And I'm delighted that we have a couple of stories now where the perpetrator is a crazy lady. And then this wearing the nightwear out, that's a guaranteed part of the pattern, right? Same with our last person who dealt with a crazy gal.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Well, Eric, great meeting you. What a bizarre and interesting story.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I hope you guys take a million more road trips.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yeah. This is the gal from Texas who's very hospitable.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yeah, what was it that Randy had done that made you want to turn homicidal? Great question.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yeah. I think the rate of alcoholism in all law enforcement is really tragically high. It's a rough job.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Well, it's delightful meeting both of you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, I loved it. He sucked us into his rhythm.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
And what time is it getting dark?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
So you have a crazy neighbor story.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
You're with your friends, Monica and Dax and Wabi Wab.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
And of course we do. Of course we do.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Can I ask really quick how many people live in Ottawa? How populated is the town you're in in this story?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I'll just throw a party in your living room, right?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Sure, as an ambassador of the family.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
When you're listening to people talk about their crazy neighbor, you realize how stuck you are.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Not even thinking about it had taken many steps.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
You're in a position where you're trying to assess who is just a little nuts, but not actually violent.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I was going to blow up the building.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, wow. Well, Sarah, I'm glad you got out unscathed. That's a very stressful and long time of being stressed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I hope you move to like 12 acres and you're just in the center of it with a huge buffer.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Well, lovely meeting you. Sorry you went through that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
If I can create a crow of its quality, then it'll end up on a sherp. That's a hill I've got to climb still, the Crow Hill. All right, well, be well and great meeting you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
All right, take care. This brought back a memory because, you know, I lived in the same apartment for 10 years. So I saw a lot of people come and go. And I had a dude that lived below me and across the hall. He had just gotten out of prison. He was originally from Hawaii. And this is the gentleman that I smoked crack with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
one night well we got in a fight then we smoke crack and for the next six months that he lived there before i believe he went back to prison i would be in bed and there'd be a knock at my door at like three in the morning and i would look out and he would be in the stair landing smoking crack and knocking on my door and i would look through the peephole and he'd say i see you peeping
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
And I'm like, oh, jeez, man. I just fucking got out of here. And he'd be up there for 30 minutes banging on my door, smoking crack. That was a rough six months.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
There's a weird detail, but he had given me his rice cooker when we were...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
That long TV. And then at one point he was at the door and he wanted his rice cooker back. And I'm like, I do want to give him his rice cooker back. But I also don't want to interact with him because he's smoking crack in the hallway.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I put the rice cooker on his doorstep the next day. That's what I was going to say.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
All right. Well, I love you. Love you. You just had a neighbor interact with the cops.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yeah, yeah. I have them stacked up here, but I'm going to wait to reveal it. Okay. Because you tell me to.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yeah, yeah. What about when you walked out of your old apartment and Sean Penn was in the driveway?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
That makes up for all the other stuff.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, so you saw Zac Efron as well?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Oh, but it was worth it. It was worth it. So exciting. That's funny to be living in like an entry-level apartment and walk outside and Sean Penn's hanging in the driveway.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
We had that with Dennis Rodman when we moved to Costa Mesa. Oh, really? He was dating one of the girls in the apartment complex.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yeah. And you'd see him? Occasionally, yeah. Hard to miss, Dennis Rodman.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
They come true every second. All right. Love you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
They're inches from you in some cases. If you're in an apartment, you're like, oh, my God. Literally two feet across my door is someone I love. Don't ever want to be around again for the rest of my life.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yes, I've got a photo of your open floor plan living room with a dinette. Right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
And were the cops able to see that when they arrived?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Miss Glenda is dancing around with a gun. What? That'd be a great title for a short story.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
It's like a mix of a comedy routine and scary.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yeah. If I'm the law enforcement, I'm like, I can't really put these three new pieces of evidence into one cohesive thought. They seem very unrelated.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
That was kind of you. I would have objected.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yeah, a lot of these things blur with stalking.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
They have the same feeling. You can't get rid of them. You cannot get rid of them. Please enjoy Crazy Neighbors. We are supported by Klaviyo. Klaviyo helps brands build smarter digital relationships with their customers. And here at Armchair Expert we know a little something about how challenging that can be. Here's how Klaviyo does it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
She also has a pistol. So she's got a rifle and a pistol. She's very well armed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
That's it. Just a reminder. Hey.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yeah, did he ever return? Whatever happened to him?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Okay, maybe there was no husband.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yeah, it's just men don't get them generally. It's more of a female thing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
I'm now allowing myself to look at all the photos. I assume this is from the incident.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
And so for the listener, Katie has done a perfect job describing her. She does look like a character out of a Wes Anderson movie or something. There's one where she's got her wrists bent. Like she's almost a little over it. Okay. So she starts ringing the bell.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Yeah. The description I left out is it looks like there's a zombie circling your house. That's actually what it looks like. Like there's an undead trying to come in.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
A very arbitrary system we have here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
You can't prove she shot through the window, even though we know she shot through the window.