On today's episode, we revisit Monica Lewinsky's episode from October 17th, 2019. Monica Lewinsky is an American anti-bullying ambassador to the Diana Award’s Anti-Bullying Programme, on the advisory board of Project rockit, founding board member of The Childhood Resilience Foundation and contributing editor to Vanity Fair. She sits down with the armchair expert to discuss overcoming trauma, cyber bullying and her experience being publicly labeled as a negative archetype. Monica talks about being an upstander and Dax is impressed by Monica’s resilience. The two discuss chasing and breaking patterns, public shame and the ways in which they both seek safety.Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: Who is Monica Lewinsky and what is her advocacy work?
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He's an uptake star.
Welcome, welcome, welcome, Monica. Don't be threatened. We have another Monica today. Oh, it's going to get really complicated. This is now the third, well, second Monica guest, but third Monica in the AE, I don't even know her call letter, sphere. Yes. Yes. Monica Lewinsky is an American activist.
She's a television personality, and she is also an anti-bullying ambassador to the Diana Award anti-bullying program and on the advisory board of Project Rocket. And of course, she is here specifically because October is National Bullying Prevention Month. And so she is making the rounds to spread the word on that, which is a wonderful thing to bring attention to.
And this is just an incredibly wonderful interview with tons of honesty and vulnerability.
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Chapter 2: How does trauma affect personal relationships?
I think there's an element of healing and shifting that kind of happens. And then maybe you're ready to have somebody help you try to alleviate that fear.
Right.
I agree that I don't think just because you have a fear and somebody sits down and says to you, oh, you really shouldn't have that fear anymore that that's going to now. Oh, no. But I also think, too, that, you know, that there are a lot of fears that come from how I describe it. I don't know that, you know, my trauma psychiatrist would agree. But I mean, I sort of think with trauma, it's like we.
kind of each create our own file folders we make our decision on how we store like traumas right so you and i could have the same traumatic experiences but we might file them in different folders in different ways right you see this with siblings a ton yeah exactly and so i think sometimes what happens too is that we'll sort of see that top fear we may not even recognize in ourselves that actually it's connected to all these other fears that have happened and so it may seem illogical to someone else but it's really not
to us because it's based on these other experiences we've had too.
So, but it's like geology. It's just another layer on top of another layer on top of, you know, before you get down to the foul ingredient, you know, there's so many other things in between there. So you grew up here roughly, right? Brentwood ish.
Oh, I was born in San Francisco and then I was raised here in actually Beverly Hills. Okay. So, and then my parents divorced and my dad moved to Brentwood and,
Oh, OK. What age were you when they divorced?
I was 14.
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Chapter 3: What are the implications of public shame?
Chapter 4: How did the media shape the narrative around Monica's experience?
And now we can use those transcripts to...
But that's a whole justice system in general. I mean, there's I think that's that's a real issue. I have the hypocrisy of the system. So I mean, stepping outside of whatever happened to me. Yes. It's just how can we say this behavior is wrong and should be punished, but that same behavior should not be punished if you're going to help us get someone else. Yeah.
The fact that the interrogator is allowed to blatantly lie. I just talked to your friend, Mike.
He said you stabbed her. How the fuck is that legal? Exactly. Or plea bargains. I mean, it's just a whole. Yes.
Now you're like, okay, well, this person's saying I committed the murder. So now I have to do something to get out of this. I've now got to choose a bad option to get out of this. Right. Yeah. It's crazy to me that things can work that way.
I participated in this docuseries that came out last year.
Yeah, I watched an episode of it today and it was really, really good.
Thanks. It was really hard to do, so.
I can imagine.
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Chapter 5: What challenges did Monica face during and after the scandal?
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And if you're looking for the perfect gift for your Valentine or for yourself, Skims just launched their best Valentine shop ever. Available in sizes for women, men, kids, and even pets. It's not as if what you were being shamed for in public was having had an extramarital affair. You were being called a slut. Yeah. Which you were not.
No. Well, sometimes. And by the way, what is a slut?
Totally agree. It's fine to have tons of sex with people. No one should be called a slut. Correct. But you were being called a slut, which no one should be called.
Well, because, I mean, it was pejorative. So whatever, you know, slut and tart and bimbo and horror.
Yes, and stupid. You're being called stupid.
Yep.
And you're being body shamed. Yep. They deployed all of the weaponry that is against women. It's really just horrendously misogynistic.
Dehumanized. Yes.
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