Join Dax & Monica for our annual holiday spectacular with as we harmonize holiday hymns with Kristen Bell, Anna Kendrick, and Gabe Gibbs, divulge Anna's Christmas candy colored explosion, learn the etymology of Bah Humbug, sing why Wobby Wob’s the weason for the season, and heal the childhood gift wound. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. This is the one I am most excited to indulge myself with.
I'm so excited to listen to James, which is a new title by Percival Everett that is very, very hot right now.
Well, there's so many good ones on the list.
We love Audible. This is how you go to bed.
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Yep.
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Yeah, you won't even play. What about for headaches, though?
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Money, there's a sparkly hat. No, wait. You have a special one, too. What? You don't have to switch. So there's right next to you, Daddy, is a bunch of different hats. There's a sparkly version. I also got you some antler ones if you wanted. That one I got for you, Money. Oh, I had fun.
That's really something.
Jacob, are you in need of a hat? Are you still pushing your merch brand?
Do you want to get that out on the... This is actually a friend of mine's thing, but I'll wear that guy.
Which one, sparkly?
I think I'll go sparkly.
You feel like a sparkly guy to me.
You feel like a sparkly guy.
Okay, welcome everybody to the Christmas episode.
Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Jingle, jingle.
Okay, so we have really fun guests. Of course, people will know you, Anna Kendrick. People know you, Kristen Bell. People are going to, a lot of people will know you guys, but a lot of people will be meeting you. Yeah. Gabe Gibbs. Yeah. I got to see you for the first time perform. What were you guys doing? What was that called? A cabaret show.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
A cabaret show. Yes.
Okay, great.
Emily Goliath's cabaret show. That's how it's pronounced.
And first check in the great category is you're a Michigander. Yeah, baby. Yeah. If the hat didn't.
Oh, my God. Thank you guys for the hat. The lion's hat. Oh, so good. Go team.
And where are you from in Michigan, Gabe? I'm from like Rochester area. Right. Yeah. We talked about that. Exit 69, Big Beaver. That's right. That was your exit. That's right. That's a for real thing. It is. Anna, you don't know that about Michigan.
I don't know anything about Michigan.
Big Beaver Road is exit number 69 on I-75.
It's locked in.
They did it on purpose? They did. We had a field day with that growing up. We were all learning to drive. Like, where are you going to drive to? Big Beaver 69.
Some nasty city planners. I like that. Rascals.
And then where are you from? I'm from South Florida. You are? Yeah. Okay.
Let's get his name. Oh, Jacob.
Jacob Jeffries. Yeah. And you and Wobby Wob already know each other.
Yeah, I know Wobby. I met Wobby at a pool party, right? A long time ago? Yeah, that's right. That's right. Was Wobby in swimwear? I was going to ask that too. We might have been in swimwear together.
Was he wearing a Speedo?
No, but picture it. It could be fun.
Well, he told us that he just shaved his pubic hair.
Not just.
One time, you did it one time into a landing strip for funnies.
We were talking about whether a Brazilian had the landing strip or not. And then somehow we learned, this was just a couple weeks ago, that Wobb gave himself a landing strip just to make Natalie laugh. Wobb, in the comments, I'm sure you've seen people love that.
Of course. Who doesn't love that?
Yeah, he's a wascal. OK, so we're going to sing a bunch of songs. We're going to learn some backstory on Christmas, favorite presents, that type of thing. We're going to eat a lot of cookies and sweets. Wobby Wob, of course, always makes really delicious cookies and Rice Krispie treats. And then I have a surprise to a culinary surprise. And so we'll be breaking to chow down at some point, too.
And then we'll do a gift exchange. And that's the run of the show. So what I would love to do, instead of trying to describe, Gabe, your genius, I would love to start with a little taste of your focus as a musician.
Jacob and I can switch. We can switch real quick. A little shuffle-roo.
Also, huge shout out to Wobby Wob because the garage looks insane.
I especially love that the sorting hat is wearing a Christmas hat. Oh my God. It's very, it's a nice touch.
That's so cute.
Also, the crow is wearing a hat.
Oh, he is. Which is so cute.
And thank you, Lincoln and Delta. I stole the tree out of their bedroom and they don't know that.
That's the tree from their bedroom? Yes. I thought you threw it out because they were both saying the needles were falling. And I was like, thank God he threw it out.
No, I threw it in here. I threw it in.
You know what I like? I like a candy cane ornament. It's very classic.
Yeah, with some white lights.
Yeah, well, candy cane ornaments are really for colored lights.
Sorry, before we kick off, just a quick vote. I know where you two stand, but are you a white light or a colored light person on your Christmas tree? Ooh.
I can't really decide. I have scared people away by bringing them to my house around Christmas time because I really go crazy. You do? Harder than we do? All signs of mental illness come forward at Christmas time. I have a silver and gold room. So it's like a monochromatic. So that's all, you know. Great. And then I have a green and brass room. So that's more like traditional warm. Right.
And then I started a couple years ago, I started collecting antique ornaments from like the 50s and 60s. And and that's kind of my like candy colored explosion room.
Do you need new pants, mommy?
Slip right off this couch.
You know I love a theme and I love a holiday and that really got my motor running.
Well, I was wondering in the living room, I was wondering like who did everything and I didn't, I mean, I assume it was sort of everyone, a team effort. I don't know. No? There are some touches in there that I'm very impressed by.
I like to have a theme every year. We've done Whoville and the Grinch. We've done Vintage Christmas. We've done a couple different things. Candy. This year was going to be Candy Christmas. A lot of pepperminty stuff. And then Wicked came out. And I said, psych, we're going to rip it all down, which I did. And then went for the Wicked theme and did everything pink and green. But I love a theme.
Yeah. No, that's like a problem. And we're the same. Yeah. And it's not a problem. Okay, okay.
So the thing I hope people are tracking is like just a month ago, Anna said, you know, Kristen texted me and I really felt bad. I ghosted her because I was just nervous. And then we fixed that. And then you guys started texting.
Oh, just wait. Yes. You'll never see me again.
And now you're singing together. I have so much optimism about where this is going. Now we find out about this spectacular design Christmas display.
Yeah, this is exciting. This is exciting. Although I think the last time I saw you two, I did say, I don't know if it was in the episode or not, but I did say, oh, if I had to sing with Kristen, I would be very nervous. You did say that. And I would want to get prepped for months and months. And did I have time for that? No, ma'am. No. Do I have a knot in my shoulder? Yes, I do.
Did I pull out some of my eyebrows this morning? No, I didn't.
It's a secret. I think you're delusional. You're delusional.
Well, I felt all the same things, and I'm sweating. In fact, I even put on a red tank top because I know I'm going to start flashing when we start singing, and I'm going to have to take this off. Also, let's make sure your visitor badge is still on yours. Yeah, why are you a visitor?
She wanted to brag that she helped kids today.
That's low money. That's really tasteless. I went to a children's hospital.
Oh, that's sweet. Okay, Gabe, why don't you rock our world a little bit?
Yeah. This needs a tiny bit of setup, if that's okay. Of course, yeah. Broadway does these things where they take existing, they're called jukebox musicals, and they take existing people's music and turn them into Broadway shows. And so I've been having fun on the internet and elsewhere turning things that I think should never be made into Broadway shows into Broadway shows.
And they're on your Instagram. You have the most entertaining Instagram posts. Of all, what do people go to for that?
It's just Gabe Gibbs at G-A-B-E-G-I-B-B-S.
Wonderful.
Thank you. It's also insane that I'm about to play these out loud in public. Here we go. This one is from a fictional Fergie musical. I'll be playing the role of Fergie.
Just once. I want someone to ask me, ask me out on a date and ask me the questions I've been wanting to get asked.
Like, what you gonna do with all that junk? With all that junk inside your trunk? And others like, what you gonna do with all that ass? All that ass inside those jeans. So I can tell him, I will make you scream with my humps, my humps, my lady lumps. Oh, my God.
It's so good because it's also really great. It's great that something's really funny and also really great. Thank you. So what is your background? Have you been on Broadway?
I have. I was in the Book of Mormon, the one the South Park guys wrote. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. No, not original. I ended up standing by for the now late, great Gavin Creel, who just was there in that company for a while, toured with it for a while, did it at the Pantages, which was cool. That's a cool theater.
Yeah. And then now you moved to LA, how many years ago?
Yeah, I've been in LA for like almost 10 years now. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, just bopping around the comedy scene. Sure, sure. With my wares.
Yes. Okay, I have a favorite and I've requested that you play it and I think that's next.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is from, again, I will be playing the titular role. I'll be playing the role of Missy Elliott in this Missy Elliott musical. Are you a Missy Elliott fan?
I'm so excited.
Hell yeah, dude.
Is it worth it? Let me work it. I'll put my thing down. Flip it and reverse it. If you got a big Let me search ya and find out how hard I gotta work ya. Is it worth it?
Oh my God.
Incredible.
Those are the bits.
How fun.
Those are the bits. And there's a couple thousand of them on his Instagram. So cool. Kristen spends a good hour and a half every night on her little space age mat.
So sweet.
Okay, so we've got quite a few Christmas songs to get through and quite a few great singers. So I think we should hop into- Switcheroo? Yeah, let's do a switcheroo.
Oh, yeah.
You're so playful when you say if you've got a big one.
No, the expression on your face, I was like, oh, I hate it. Yes.
I hate it. Yeah, yeah. Yes.
Yes.
Because it's that pleased with yourself kind of, I mean, I wouldn't, but you know. Musical theater actors. Yes.
That no one behaves this way except musical theater people.
I was praying you'd say it. I'm not allowed to say it.
It's too dangerous. That's what it's born out of, is born out of theater people don't live in reality. And so then we take these songs and we make them insane.
In fairness, I don't want them to live in reality. Of course. They're singing.
They're singing.
I'm in love with you because the reason he said he's not allowed to say it is because sometimes he's come at it too hard. Because I'd be like, yes, I agree. A lot of it is cheesy. And yes, I agree. Nobody walks. Like when you see a musical theater actor walk across the stage, they're always in like an earthquake windstorm. That's never how people walk. And I love it. I love it.
And I can agree with you. That's sometimes really silly. But then sometimes Dax will like dig in and I'll say like, uh-uh. No, that's my medium.
I think that's true of ballet and opera. Everyone has their own set of rules and gestures. The world is different. I think musical theater is similar. In ballet, they go to sleep like this.
And we go, yeah, okay, you're sleeping.
I'm into it because I'm into the medium. I guess if you came hard at ballet for sleeping like that, I'd feel a little bit more like you were, you know, a little bit more critical of everyone. But I think it's just because we discuss musical theater so often because I bring it up.
Exactly. We just have not yet talked. In 17 years, we've not gotten around to ballet yet.
Yeah.
Other than the fact that I was in ballet for some period of time.
That's true.
Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, a tiny, I had one recital, and my dad, who was never around, did come to that, and he watched the thing, and then when we were leaving, he said to my mother, okay, that was his last recital. There's no more of that. How old were you in Michigan? I similarly. I was probably seven. Yeah.
Lame.
Yeah, I know.
That was a bummer.
Yeah, that's something you could do in 1982. You could unilaterally say, and that's a wrap on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a dad that's not around, but I still have this veto card.
He missed an opportunity because, Easter egg, someone's coming here in a bit to help with the singing, whose son is a dancer.
The best dancer.
He's 11. He's the best dancer in the world. And Perfect 10 Charlie, his father, posted a whole thing, a video and a whole thing about it. And he called himself a dance dad. And there's nothing hotter than a man calling themselves a dance dad. So your dad missed out. He could have been a dance dad and like that would have been hot. Cleaned up. Yes.
Okay. What is the first song, my love?
Why don't we start out with a classic?
Yes.
Why don't we start out with something with the three of us? We're going to hit you with one of the hot Christmas classics.
Oh, wonderful.
What are we getting to begin this?
Would it be disrespectful if I'm enjoying a snack while you guys are singing? I'd prefer it. Okay, great. Dinner theater.
Great. And what's my start? Okay. Hmm.
God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay. Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day to save us all from Satan's power when we were gone astray. Oh, tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy. Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.
In Bethlehem in Israel this blessed babe was born And laid within a manger upon this blessed morn To which his mother Mary did nothing take in scorn O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy O tidings of comfort and joy
From God, our heavenly Father, a blessed angel came, and unto certain shepherds brought tidings of the same, how that in Bethlehem was born the Son of God by name.
O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy! O tidings of comfort and joy! Oh my God. That's a slog.
Hannah, do you want to do a musical at any point?
Like on stage? Yeah. Honestly, I've heard from folks that it's just so much harder than you think and it's harder than you remember. And I barely remember because I was 12. So the last time I did a live show, like a stage show, I think I was 17. So yeah, I really like the part where I just have to get my voice ready for recording or filming, and then I don't have to think about it anymore.
Even when we did, we did a bunch of the last five years live, as much as we could, which wasn't a ton, but I didn't like having to live like a soldier and not drink and not have cheese. I'm just such a big fan of cheese.
Sure, sure. I didn't know, what show were you in when you were a kid?
High society. Sorry, I didn't know.
You son of a bitch.
And who were you in the last five years with? Jeremy Jordan. What's happening?
That's almost a huge burn, but I... It wasn't a burn.
You know that Lincoln's like... Oh, oh, oh, oh. She's obsessed. She can't even say his name without being like, Jeremy Jordan. Oh, I see. She loves him so much. She has for Jeremy Jordan t-shirts for Christmas. Are there such t-shirts? No, but I just got one on Amazon that said Jeremy.
So... Make sure it's not like Brandon or some sort of... Oh, I don't think... It just says Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy on it.
And then...
I don't think that's what she wanted.
That's all they had.
What's his riz? Like, why is she so obsessed?
Hottie, hottie, Broadway, hottie, hottie, Broadway.
Hottie, hottie, Broadway.
He's been, like, the dude for, like, a decade.
Yeah.
If you're a Broadway nerd. Respectfully. Who is your idol? Mine? In the Broadway world, yeah.
Ooh.
It was Gavin Creel, who just passed a couple months ago. He was like, he was the dude. He was like, people my age that were doing theater were looking up to him, and he was the guy.
Did you go to the thing Kristen went to? Which one?
Did you do the memorial in New York?
No, I didn't. I didn't. You went?
It was really beautiful, yeah.
And they dimmed the lights.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a classy theater tradition.
Mama had the best week of her entire life. She almost didn't come home.
I did. Yeah, I did. I did. I did end up coming home. In my mind, I'm still there. I talked to them on FaceTime and both Dax and the girls are like, you look different. You look different.
12 years younger. On those FaceTimes, I was like, oh my God, mom's 26 right now. Look at her. Your face, yeah, was so youthful. You were with all your Broadway friends. That does something so special to you. Yeah. It's very, very sweet. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
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It's had a real resurgence. I was just at a friend's house in Georgia and all the kids were playing this.
They were.
Yes, and it looked fun.
Find gift ideas for all ages and at every price point at tcg.pokemon.com slash holiday. Should we... I think we should hear... Are you guys ready to play your song? I also have one quick question ergonomically. Is it easy to... to sing seated? Is that not a challenge?
It's a little harder. It is, right? Maybe not for this one. But I will say, I, this is not, this is the opposite of a flex. You know, this is the opposite of flex. I am worried about distorting on the mic because I, not that I am like, because I'm so, my voice is so big, but it's because like, I have to get very loud to read the notes.
So I just want to make sure that that, you know, I don't know, Rob is prepared. Right. Okay. He's riding it. He rides it hard, too.
He rides it like a Brazilian strip. Oh, yeah, you're smart. Oh, this is great.
You've got on your knees. That's a compromise.
It's more the, right? It's got to be from here down. No, no, no, no. I don't want to stand.
No, then it just gets awkward, right? When you stand up and then if it doesn't, tell me if you have this. If you stand and you go like, oh, I'm going to need to stand and you don't.
hit it, it's the worst. And now you've stood. You don't absolutely soar. You're doing a lot for a person.
Why didn't it work?
And you've got a built-in excuse. I was sitting. Can you imagine what that would have sounded like if I was standing?
Yeah, it would have been perfect.
That would be my preferred approach.
Sure it's nice to open a gift that's tied up with a perfect bow But the greatest present of all was given to me long ago. It's something I would never trade. It's the family that we've made. Cause when we're together, I have everything on my list. And when we're together, I have all I wished. All around the Christmas tree there'll be dreams coming true.
But when we're together, then my favorite gift is you. i would travel miles and miles and i would follow any star i'd go almost any place if it's any place And when we're together, we'll be safe and warm. Doesn't matter where we are, if you're here with me. Because when we're together, that's my favorite place to be. Cause when we're together, it's a holiday every night.
And when we're together, then the season's bright. I don't need the bells to ring. I'll know when it's here. Cause when we're together, I could stay forever.
And when we're together, it's my favorite time of year. Beautiful.
He's crying. Did you bring anything special?
Yeah, I actually brought a little gift, if that's okay. Well, I brought two gifts. One is in the fridge right now in the house, which my sister, who is a huge armcherry, huge, huge, huge, couldn't let me show up without having us make some homemade Emily burger sauce.
No. Amazing. Which...
is sugar-free as well. We've made it sugar-free. Unnecessary, but that's great.
Just in case. Really slather it on guilt-free.
So there's some of that in the fridge in your home. She made Emily Burger sauce. I've seen this photo because my sister sent it to me and said, you guys better fucking make that Emily Berger song.
What's your sister's name? Allie. She must be a genius. She really loves this show. She loves this show. She sounds so smart and compassionate and evolved.
Yeah, she's the best of us, really.
Okay, so you know, I want to make it very clear. You're my all-time queen of the bell, the ball. You're the number one singer in my heart of all time. So you know that. But I do need to talk about Emma's voice for a second.
You have notes?
No. You're like a racehorse. Racehorses, they can like, can it walk? I don't know. And then all of a sudden it fucking takes off and it's just like... Or like a car, a motor, you guys will know, with a huge cam. It sounds like it's not even going to roll. And then you hit the gas and it's fucking out of there. There is something so... Just... Powerful.
And it just like, it just shoots into the air. It's really, I love it. I don't think I heard you sing enough.
Her timbre, is that what it is?
Her timbre is so clear.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so nice. And that's the unteachable part too.
You can't teach timbre. No, can't teach timbre. No, that's what they say. Can't teach timbre. Can't teach timbre. Can't teach timbre new tricks.
Did you feel like after Pitch Perfect, everyone was saying that to you? Like, oh my God.
No, I mean, I think Pitch Perfect, the singing in Pitch Perfect, actually, like I there was some reason that there was like a performance that my mom sent me. I don't know where they were dancing to the first movie. And I was like, oh, I haven't listened to this in forever. And I was like, I don't sound that good. Oh my God.
Because I think I was just sort of trying to, because they make us learn so many weird harmonies. And you're playing the percussion and you're playing the guitar or whatever. So you're just trying to actually learn the notes and there's not a ton of time for you to decide your musicality for each song. So I was like, oh man, that sounds good.
Oh my God, well, you sound amazing. I'm having a real-time realization.
Okay.
I cannot believe I have not put this together before. the thing the song that i've listened to probably the most in my life is you and justin timberlake singing true colors and i just now i'm realizing that that's you because now i know you to some extent that i i've like removed that as put it in its own compartment i used to watch that video on repeat
because we talked about the fact that I was walking by UCB, you were sitting behind the counter and I walked in and you were currently listening to that song at work.
We've talked about it, but I didn't realize it was our friend Anna Kendrick. I mean, I did realize, but this Monica did not realize it in her heart until right this second. Wait, when you say the video, are you talking about the Cannes performance? There was a performance you guys did. I just watched it on YouTube over and over and over and over. Yeah, we were both really sick. Oh my God.
Were you sitting there standing?
I was standing. Thank God.
He had diarrhea is what I remember from the story. Yeah. Justin Timberlake had her explosive diarrhea.
No, but he's so sweet. And we were both really, really sick. But he is like, you know, one of the great all time like pop recording artists, you know, whatever. So we had like did a very, very simple version of True Colors. And like right before and we just kept drilling it and drilling it and drilling it.
And then like right before we were about to go on, he was just singing his part to himself and added in like 20 riffs or whatever. And I went, are you going to do it like that? And he was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Cause I was like, no, no, no, you have, you still have access to like so much of your voice that I like do not have right now.
Um, but he was very, very sweetly like, no, no, no, it's going to be exactly how we did it. It's going to be fine.
Have you guys ever heard my version? I have to cover my face because it'll make everyone uncomfortable. This is like a real Monica. Okay.
And I see your two colors and that's why I love you. I'm so lonely, so don't be afraid to let it go. Two colors are beautiful like a wave so lonely.
That was so cute. It's sad. I saw the whole thing because I had a backstage. Exactly. He's very lonely.
I had a backstage pass to that one.
I saw the whole thing.
BTS.
I think you got there because of Tambur Lake. We were talking about her timbre. I think that's how you got there.
You searched timbre, I think. Best timbre.
I love that.
Oh, that was fantastic.
Right before this, Gabe was mentioning the Emily Burger sauce and you said you had one more thing.
Oh, I do have another gift, if that's okay.
No, there's a one gift limit here.
This day has been field, field. I'll take that from the top. I'll take that again. Great, please do. Everyone reads that back to one. Keep it rolling, Rob, don't cut. Am I stand, sit? Doesn't matter. It'll come out the same.
Standing is the opposite of sitting.
Sitting. Yeah, I do have another gift, actually, for you guys, if you don't mind. It goes like this. The day has been filled with holiday cheer, but I know that it can't last. So before we run along, I wrote a little song about the king of this podcast. Oh, wow. Oh, Wobby Wob's the reason I signed up for this pod. Sure, the hosts are fine, but I'd wait in line for that audio god.
Monica is chic as hell. Her fact checks make it clearer. But without the work of Wobby Wob, you couldn't even hear her. Dax is wise, the kind of guy you'd hang out with gladly. But he's nothing in comparison to that decibel daddy. Just Monica and Dax, I'd say no thanks, I'll pass. Just Kristen and Anna, I would have made other plans. Just Wobby Wobby. Wobby Wob's the reason I'm here.
The rest is bub kiss. Wobby Wob's the reason I'm here. Feel free to cut this.
Wobby Wob's the reason I'm here.
It's about goddamn time, Rob. That is the gift, yeah. I ride him like a rented mule, so he deserved that.
Rob, do you want to show your face?
He'd rather not. Absolutely not.
Oh, that was awesome. That was incredible. Can I say that was the best? And I was totally going between you and Rob's face, and you'd never know something weird was happening. I mean, I'm sure if you know him well, there's microexpressions you could read, but I was like, is he... Does he know what's going on? This is crazy.
Can he hear?
That's a plot twist.
Gabe, do you have a favorite Christmas present you remember from your childhood? in Michigan on Big Beaver Road, Exit 69 in Rochester?
The first thing in Michigan on Big Beaver Road, Exit 69 Rochester that comes to my mind is getting my first like brick cell phone at the time that I was texting. I had a crush at the time. And so it was the kind of texting you did where you had to do the ABC. T9 text input.
T9, she knows.
AAB, that kind of thing.
So it was a lot of that.
Cell phone.
What grade?
I think it was sixth grade that I got my first phone.
And you had a big old crush in sixth grade, early developer. Timber was coming in nicely.
What's up, shouty? How are you?
G2G. And I imagine then too, you had some limited data on your hands.
Oh yeah, oh for sure. There was no, yeah, it was very limited. Yeah, you gotta be real efficient with that. A lot of texts to the same number showing up on the bill at the end. Jacob, do you have a favorite gift you got?
Yeah. I can recall a nice Dyno GT bicycle waiting out front one Christmas morning. You son of a bitch. Yeah. Red, white, and blue. Red, white, and blue. Red, white, and blue.
Would it have made you so long way?
Yeah, dude. I was cruising all over the neighborhood on that thing, man. It was great.
You had a fucking Dyno? Remember Dino GTs? Yeah, you're a dick.
I had a fucking mongoose, bitch. I was going to say, kids either had dinos or mongooses.
No, kids had mongooses and they wanted dinos. Cool, yeah. What did your old man do for a... He sold insurance. Oh, I bet he did quite well.
He had one client, I don't know. I don't think he did well, to be honest with you. He was always on the phone with Muriel Jacobs. I don't know who the hell that was. Shout out Muriel Jacobs.
It's like Bill Gates' pseudonym.
Do you have one?
Maybe an Easy Bake Oven. Yeah, that's a real dream. Because I also love a little baking moment, but I also love slightly underbaked baked goods. And the Easy Bake Oven really delivers on that.
It does.
It barely gets there.
It's a light bulb, right, that cooks the food?
So you get warm cookie dough, which is really what I wanted in the first place. Yeah, that's right. Do you like giving gifts? I'm bad at like birthdays and Christmas because when I like know of something that I really want to get someone, I'm too excited. And I'm like, I just give it when I can't like, yeah, I can't do the delayed gratification.
I'm bad at birthdays and Christmas as if there's a bunch of other gift opportunities. You're just straight across the board bad at gifts.
pretty bad but but ever like every now and then there's a fucking winner and like i cannot go like well christmas is in two months and i'll just save it i can't do it it's happening now think of somebody you get it and then you give it yeah yeah that's lovely i feel like you're like that and i don't want anyone to think i'm being rude not asking you but we both know i won't remember you have no clue now
We have been on vacations to places that she's like, I'd like to go to Colorado once. We've been a couple of times, you know, that kind of thing.
Not me, man. I'd like to throw in in the mix. Please. That we got you a chandelier. Oh. From Paris. Now that I remember.
We tracked on down. We shot the season finale, the series finale of The Good Place in Greece and in Paris in And when I was in Paris, I went to the flea market there and I was looking around and I loved it so much. And I saw this white terracotta chandelier that's kind of like it's huge. And it's like there's all these little like white terracotta birds all over it.
But it's very it's kind of minimalist. It's very chic. Just trust me. And I said, how much is that? And he said, and I was like, OK, thanks so much. It was way too expensive. And then I left. But I came home talking about it. I was like, oh, Monica, I got to talk to you about decor. I saw the chandelier and I loved it so much. 10 months go by. I mean, like a very, very long time.
Maybe even a year over. And Monica had the realization that she could track down someone who lived in Paris that I had known who could go back and see if it was still there. The masseuse you guys are both in love with?
Laurent? No.
That's not a bit. There is a great masseuse in Paris. Laurent. I mean, half of it is just like hair play, but it is out of this world.
Oh, and there's a dinner involved, and you go to his apartment.
No, we went to dinner. That's not normally on the docket. It's not one of the services he offers. But then Monica tracked down this chandelier from our beautiful friend Tibor, and they gave it to me for my 40th birthday, and now it hangs above my bathtub. It's so beautiful. It's so beautiful. I'm gonna. It's a really special chandelier.
What's your favorite gift you've ever received on Christmas?
By far, and I just shout out to Laura LeBeau because we were broke as hell, but she went hard on Christmas. We had great fucking Christmas. She would go in debt, and she always gave us a good one. And I must have been five because we lived in this shithole. And I came out, and there was a plastic IndyCar the size of this table. It probably would be a Power Wheels now.
I don't know if that was the brand back then. But it was a little car I could drive. And I drove it until the battery's dead. Then I charged it. Then I drove it. And then I drove it. And the embarrassing part is I drove it way too long. Then we moved into a neighborhood and I was still, I was driving it at like 11.
Sometimes I'd get nostalgic and I would drive it down my neighborhood street and I would be super embarrassed, but I still would do it. Yeah. I just, the steering wheel broke and I steered it with pliers for a while. Yeah.
This wasn't the Firefox, was it?
No, that was my worst present because my grandpa, Papa Bob, he bought my brother and I these Firefox remote control cars. We wanted them so bad. And then my uncle and my brother played with them before Christmas for so long that they were broken and then put them in the boxes and we unwrapped them. And they were broken. And then they were sold out of Firefox. And then this is my chandelier.
My what's the sleds name? You know, Rosebud. This was my Rosebud. And Kristen found a Firefox on eBay or somewhere and got it for me for Christmas. And she healed that wound. And it broke within 10 minutes of driving. So I can't even blame my uncles.
Oh, these are pieces of shit, these files. Yeah. They're like Easy Bake Ovens, essentially.
Yeah, yeah. They were the Easy Bake Oven of the RC car world, for sure. Okay, what other songs do we have?
This one's a song that everyone's gonna know, but Gabe and I like this particular version, which is Mel Torme and Judy Garland, which we're gonna do it with them in mind, because it's very clear during this recording that they are sauced.
Okay, they're a little tipsy.
Yeah, there's some word mangling. There's just, it's just.
Good for them. Mostly on the Judy part.
Mostly on the Judy part.
So Judy was pretty gassed. She had a hard life.
She really did. Did she? Yeah. Oh, yeah. What was her stroke? Well, we Britney speared her. She was the first Britney speared.
Okay.
So, yeah. So we have this little one prepared in the.
Rob, cue all the crickets.
Oh my God. Are there crickets in here?
So fucking many. I told you this. Someone was having a very emotional moment on the couch. And the second they were having this emotional moment, the crickets started.
How'd you do that? If you hit them, they'll come. You know what we need to get? Nice. A snake.
Good idea. Well, let's have a snake in here. We're just wandering around the podcast.
Well, what if we brought, I got an even better idea.
Do you not know what Monica's number one fear in life is?
Yeah, snakes.
Upper butt.
Me too. Upper butt?
A snake coming out of your, going up your butt from the toilet bowl.
Yeah, they come out and they go all the way up into your, they? Do they come out your butt?
No. No, no. Do you know, have you fact checked this? Yeah, it's a real rumor. What? What if Erica brought Norbert over, their lizard? Although he, last time I heard he wasn't eating for a while and she was very nervous, yeah.
He's upset about the election, he's on strike.
He's on strike. Okay, so this is Garland smashed and- This is Mel and Mel Torme trying to keep it together.
Yeah.
All through the years we've waited. That's a great meltdown. Waited through spring and fall. This one's going to know it.
To hear silver bells ringing and wintertime singing. The happiest season of all. And I wish that Judy Garland would start singing right now.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire Jack Frost nipping at your nose Yuletide carols being sung by a choir And folks dressed up from head to toe Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe. make the season bright tiny tots with their eyes all aglow will find it hard to sleep tonight they know that sad
He's loaded lots of gifts and toys up on his sleigh And every mother's child is gonna spy To see if rainbows really know how to fly To kids from one to ninety-two. Although it's been said many times, many ways, Merry Christmas to you.
Should we have a go at them? Some Old English, shall we? Sure. Love and joy come to you and to all your loved ones too. And God bless you and send you a happy new year. And God send you a happy new year.
Thank you. Thank you. You guys just need three, four more songs and you got a show.
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Rainbows really know how to fly. So good.
No nod to it at all. It just, that's what she wanted to sing. It came out of her mouth. No one's going to argue with it. It's Judy Garland. Wait, that didn't really happen. Yeah, yeah. We just did the track.
Yeah. She said rainbows really know how to fly.
Wait, did she do the gifts and toys? Yes. Did he say that's close? He said that's close. That's crazy. That's hilarious. And I looked and it was like Kristen had crossed out the right lyrics to do it.
And I was like, oh, that wasn't an act.
That was close.
She was lost. That gets you out of the copyright issue. Just throw rainbows in.
For those who don't know, it's titled The Christmas Song, but that is really, that's an incredible version. That's my favorite version and I really wanted to try it with you.
And they kept it too. They're like, Mike, she said rainbows, right? Yeah, just keep it. Okay. Well, I think,
Well, rainbows over the rainbow. Of course. Yeah. I thought maybe the rainbows is her being like, get it? Yes, it was.
And I think that was live because I think Mel was playing.
Yeah, there's a video online that you can see of him playing.
Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because a lot of those songs from way back when, they were just taken from live performances. They weren't like doing them in the studio. They were like, you can hear the live tracks on... Oh, man, that was funny. That was delish.
Do we want to do our culinary surprise? I just want to say that we were talking yesterday in a fact check and I was lamenting about how bad I am at giving gifts. And then Monica said, well, think of secret turkey so fun because you have to make it. And then I thought, OK. That's what I'm going to do.
Oh, great.
So we'll all go outside. There's a buffet set up.
What?
And we'll make a plate, and then we can eat in open presence.
Okay. Sounds lovely. Wow. A buffet. People can pee if they need to. Wow.
On my word of the day today, it was bah humbug.
No.
And I learned the full meaning. In the 17th century, 18th century, somewhere on the cusp, Ba essentially meant not, right? It was a sign of disagreement. And humbug meant a hoax or a befooling trick. So if you didn't like the merry season, you'd say not. This is a hoax.
Oh, interesting.
Okay, since you're not meeting...
I'll open first.
I always thought it was two words. It is. Oh, it is. Oh, yeah. Okay.
Now, full disclosure, I have helped for Kristen's Christmas. I don't want to act like she has a stylist, Nicole, who has the best taste of any person in the world. Everything Nicole gets, Kristen wants. So three years ago, I was like, hey, Nicole, since you know what she's going to want, could you help me?
So I have a lot of help, but I still, I feel unethical about that, so I still get some stuff on my own. So if this is a miss, it's because Nicole had nothing to do with this.
And look at this.
Is Wicked Theme for your... Now that's where Carly comes in, I think, because I just did the rap job, and I did not affix the ribbon.
I did.
Oh! I knew it would be you or her.
Oh, the games you two play, I see. Also, shout out to Carly for... Let's see if I can get Dax to lie about wrapping this, and then go, gotcha!
It was a total trap. I walked right into it. And then shout out Carly for putting out the buffet outside.
Incredible. Did you do the garlic bread too?
She made the garlic bread. I made the spaghetti sauce.
Both are absolutely delicious. Our listeners have heard a lot about the spaghetti. So I want them to, it's good that they get to see it.
Yeah.
In action. It's incredible.
The word crank is in the title on this book. Oh.
Yeah. There you go.
That's right. That's exactly where it goes. Panda prank with a shoe footprint like from a murder mystery.
Ooh. You're a hiker?
I am a hiker. Ooh.
Wow.
Nice. Ooh, really nice. These are sleek hiking shoes, buddy. Thanks.
Yeah, it's some collab between Panda Prank and Nike.
I love them. Those are gorgeous. That's a sexy shoe.
Oh, thank you.
This is a hit.
Oh, thank you.
One for one.
One for one.
I should quit.
I should just return the rest of your presents, actually.
I love them. Why is the box so big?
If you loved them so much, you'd be putting them on.
That's what I would do, a pair of shoes I love. What's Panda Prank?
They do one-off designs of existing brands, is my understanding of it.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, because now I'm in their algorithm because I bought one pair of shoes, so I see every single pair of shoes they design, and they're all pretty cool. Nice.
Jacob's not eating, so I'm going to give him his present.
I have a present? You got a present. What the heck? Also, I learned at the buffet bar that you're in Wolfpack, which I can't believe I didn't know that. That's so embarrassing to me.
I'm the newest member. It's totally okay. Oh, okay. This looks delicious. Is this wine?
Yes, it is.
Thank God. I love wine.
I wasn't sure what it was.
And then reach on down in that. Reach on down. Reach on down. Reach on down the road. Let's go. Ooh. What is this? Do you know I love this wine bar? And I used to live next to it? Wait. I'm just guessing. Wait, no. Did you know this or no? I just guessed. No. Someone told you? Who told you? Kristen does her research.
Wow.
Whoa. Santa told me. Santa told me.
We have three world-class present givers in this room right now.
I have to throw... Yeah, this is an amazing gift. Thank you so much. I have to... Shout out Justine's Wine Bar in Frogtown.
I love Justine's.
Oh, she's the best. And I used to live right next to it, and it was too convenient, and I had to move. She drove you out of the neighborhood?
No, no, no. This is awesome. Thank you so much. I couldn't live within five miles of Emily Burger.
Yeah, that's true.
I would be dead within six, seven years, I think.
Okay, we're going to thank you.
It's a huge beaver.
Here we go.
The biggest beaver you've ever seen. I love beavers.
Oh my God. Tell everyone what happened to yours. Okay. Somebody talked to my wife because what happened to mine was I don't know how it happened. I was on the phone with my AirPods on, turned my head in some way. I'm dramatic.
I don't know what happened. Theatrical. Yeah.
I'm a theater kid. You know, you're given what you're given. And one of them flew out and went under the fridge in a way that I spent hours an embarrassing amount of time trying to fish it out, but the fridge in our apartment is so stuck into the space that it's in that I can't get it out. So I have the case and the other AirPod, and I can see where the AirPod is, and I cannot get to it.
I've used magnets.
That's excruciating.
It's brutal. It's absolutely brutal. So this is huge.
Anna, you're not going to like this, but... Oh, no.
I didn't know, I didn't bring anything.
You don't need to bring anything. Yeah, I'm not doing your Christmas show. You're doing our Christmas show. We were interviewing you.
Oh God, what did I say? Oh God.
You were talking about going to your audition in your combat boots.
I know what this is.
And I said... I know what this is. Yep. And it broke my heart that you wouldn't have the best boots a lady can have.
Wait, how did you find out my shoes...
I asked you your shoe size.
That's right. And I thought it was for, I can't believe I didn't think, well, they asked for my shoe size. Where are my shoes? I figured we'd be wearing slippers. Silly elf slippers or something.
That would have made the most sense.
Oh my goodness.
Now, watch how nervous Kristen is because she was a part of me looking online for these.
Well, I tried to be.
Yeah. And there were ones I liked where she was like, absolutely not. And then I just waited until she left and then I decided.
Okay. I hope they're the absolutely not ones.
They were not. They were a compromise, but I still love them. They're perfect. They have fur. They're fur. The boots with the fur.
With the fur. Oh, there's a platform for you, Shorty. Platform is great. Those are sweet. Who's talking? I love a platform, too.
I'm here for it. I love it. Thank you so much. It's got a side zipper so you don't have to fuck with the laces. It feels really nice. Huge.
Yeah, thank you.
Because in, yeah, in my last episode, we were talking about my audition for my Broadway show when I was 12, and I was wearing combat boots and ducks, asked if they were Doc Martens, and I said, no, I think they were like the Payless knockoff version, because we couldn't afford them.
And I said, my girl can't ever wear the, oh, loved it. It's a great brand, Payless. It's just, Docs for me were the thing. Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, great.
See, she loves hers. She's about to put hers on, hun. The wrapping paper is green and pink on the inside? Yeah, it's a wicked thing. Damn, you really did all that. You really did all that. Oh God, oh God, I'm gonna knock over everything.
Moni, can I present you with a present?
Sure.
I also have to say one thing. I bought you something. Thank you. It says it came. I searched the entire house today. It's not here. I reordered it.
Thank you. Wait, but in the meantime. I don't need things.
You're a woman of means. You can buy your own shit.
I buy my own things. Oh, sweet, the original mouse. Dax drew this. And I used it on my gift guide and now it's on our sweatshirt for this year.
I thought you should have the original.
This was the original drawing. I love it. Thank you so much. What does it say? The world's all time most special mouse, in quotes. Sometimes I think you guys forget this is a podcast. Because we didn't say those were AirPods.
We didn't say these were Docs.
Hey, that's why I said, is this one? Oh!
Wow! Jacob, we're looking for someone to turn the entire show over to.
So this could be fucking perfect.
Wow. Can I say, these are the best.
Oh, man. Thank you.
I don't know what I think that maybe I own like one pair of Doc Martens in my early 20s. And I don't know. I found them very stiff. Maybe I was a knockoff or maybe I got the wrong pair or something. But immediately these feel good. They used to be way stiffer. Is that right? Because I'm like, wait, I was expecting these to be like kind of a pain. Yeah, they feel amazing instantaneously.
And there's a hack.
You put them in the freezer overnight and take them out when they're cold and put them directly on. is when leather's cold, as it will sort of, I guess, melt, essentially, it will form to your foot.
Shut up.
Oh my God, these feel amazing. Also, if we're not doing a good job talking about the items, I guess you should just watch it on YouTube.
Yeah, that's the move. Wobby Wob?
Yeah, I want, yeah.
Let's get you seated for this birthday boy. You got your own song, but that's not where it ends.
Also, the present I got you two, I need you to open at the same time.
Okay. I'm excited to see how Mama handled this. I just want to say for this one, Kristen spent at least seven and a half hours on the phone this week and was unsuccessful.
Wow.
Is that a good setup?
Merry Christmas.
Terrania. Have you ever been?
It's really nice.
It's so fun. It's so close. Your kids will love it. There's a little slide. The fucking buffet is the best in the biz.
It's good for parents and adults.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Again, it's yours.
Lock up.
Thank you.
Thank you. This is great.
Do we?
We have a lot more. I got presents for you too.
That's for me. That and the big one. That and the big one. And what's that for money? Okay.
Thank you so much.
Don't worry about the armchair expert wrapping paper.
Good old wrapping.
Okay. You want to go first?
Ladies first. It's from Wobby Wob. Hollis.
Who's, again, I got to say, when I said there's three exemplary gift givers in this room, Wobby Wob is.
He is.
He is.
He is the amazing.
I'd also like to comment on the paper because what I'm not hearing is a bunch of like crazy crunch wrap. Because this paper, there is a real, there is a hierarchy with wrapping paper. And this one has a fabric type quality to it. It almost feels like. Like a dress.
Maybe you should wear it as a dress.
Okay. But it's delicious wrapping paper, Wobby Wob. Real high end. That must have cost you a fortune. And is that because you're the sound guy?
Oh, I mean, Amazon. Far out. No, I mean, that would make sense to me.
Yeah, that's what on a set it would be. When you get that stupid fucking shopping bag.
For the listener, there's a wrap present inside the wrapped present. It was a wrap within a wrap.
It's the nesting doll. It's a skeleton inside of a sand people.
Kind of like the hat on the hat. Is there gonna be another?
Oh boy.
And this paper is a smell-o-graph.
Shut up.
Pass it. Yeah, pass it.
A smell-o-graph.
You guys, that's what it's called.
Now again, if you're listening, you can't smell it. And even if you're watching, you can't smell it.
On YouTube, you can smell it. There's just a button you click, it's an upgrade.
That's a gift in itself. Wow.
Did you spray something or is that how it goes? Wow.
God, it's really nice. I'm telling you.
He's got like a little workshop at his house. The high-end wrapping store, they have a lot of wrappers. We're down to the actual gift.
What? Your gift also didn't come yet? It was supposed to come today.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's my dream come true. Is that a real picture? No. Yeah, I spent time.
Dreams.
In my dreams. Oh, and it's a picture. It's a picture of me. Okay, for the listener and not the viewer. There's a sweater coming. Oh, thank you. Oh, my gosh. How sweet. But this is the real gift. It's a picture of me with Mary-Kate and Ashley, and I look like I'm friends with them. You're in the sweater. It's so cute.
Iconic. Unbelievable.
That's great. I love it. And I'll buy these pants for sure. Okay, this one can live like that. And that's a manifest because they're going to come on at some point. Thank you, Rob. That's so sweet. Okay, now I need you guys to open. Go ahead, Rob. But can you open yours of this too? Well.
The listener, it seems to be a race, and Dax is in the lead.
Flamingo Estate, Los Angeles, California. Ooh, these are really nice. You know about these? What is this? It's olive oil.
It's olive oil, but they were personalized.
It pairs nicely with elk. Mine says Wabi Sabi for Wabi Wabi.
And for people who don't know, Jax has been on a real kick of eating elk lately. And so in the mornings he has elk and eggs, which makes the house smell terrible, but it's actually pretty tasty. And he gets like 160 grams of protein during breakfast.
It's a lot of protein. And now I'll get a little omega in them too. And let's both say something at the same time. Three, two, one. For the listener, I almost kissed Rob's lips. Here we go. Ever since I learned about that landing strip, I'm just having the most confusing feelings about you.
Dax is opening the present from Rodman.
You can blame at one point that you didn't have enough knickknacks behind you and Monica had more.
Oh, Rodman and Isaiah Thomas, 88-89. Pissed it. You were too young, but that was the team. Oh my God, that's so cool.
Oh, that's great. Was that in eBay?
Nope, it was Target.
Oh, cool. Target had that?
Had those two guys together from 1989?
They won back-to-back titles.
No, yeah, but Target had that. That's a great point. That's wild.
Yeah, a very deep cut for Target, right?
Amazing.
Oh, this is great. Oh, I got a piggy. Whoa. Oh, great, and this has Yeti wrapping paper, not to be confused with the cooling brand. An actual Yeti. Does it smell?
Is it a smell of that?
Alyssa Dax is having trouble opening the package.
I'm going to, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to play a game where you guys will see it first.
And try to describe it to you?
Guessing on your reaction, I'm going to see if I can figure out what it is.
Oh, guessing on our reaction, okay.
Okay, well it is, it is a car accident. A piece of art. It's a piece of art.
Okay, so Gabe, it seems like it might be a bad car accident. Is that what it is? Someone eating a corpse?
Wow, Rob, that's beautiful.
So it's this Australian artist, Bella McGoldrick.
Oh, wow. It's a pencil drawing? It's beautiful.
That's so cool.
Oh, man.
I was going to ask. Yeah. 15 of 20 I read at the bottom. Oh, I love a limited edition.
Your eyes aren't that good. How'd you get that?
Check my work.
No, you got it. But we both know you and I are blind.
That's true. I don't know. Somehow I caught it.
Wow.
Oh, my God. That's gorgeous, Wobby Wob. Thank you.
Pencil?
Thoughtful son of a bitch. Three, two, one. Three, two, one. We say something.
You're not going back in. What's the name of the artist, Rob?
Bellarmine Goldrick.
Beautiful.
We have one more?
You two have another one from me.
Okay.
They're the white boxes.
Okay.
Wait, I know this paper.
Three.
Well. Monica, they don't deserve this. No.
I was about to find out.
I mean also obviously we can return if things don't fit but it was imperative that everyone in this room had something from the row based on how much we talk about it beautiful you're welcome but if it doesn't fit obviously oh wow let me see oh yours okay yours a little thinner yours more of a springtime mine's more of a let's hit the slopes
Oh, thank you, Moni. You're welcome.
That's beautiful. And I got a rose sweater, too. It all worked out.
All came out in the wash. Okay. So, we've had our pasta. We've had some desserts. It's time to land the plane hard with some more music. So, musical director, what's our next offering?
Monica requested Auld Lang Syne. I did.
Two, three.
Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should old acquaintance be forgot and days of old langside? For auld lang syne We'll take a cup of kindness yet For auld lang syne And here's a hand, my trusty friend, and here's a hand of thine. We'll take a cup of kindness yet for auld lang syne. My dear, for auld lang syne. We'll take a cup of kindness yet for auld lang syne.
I don't even like that song and I loved it.
I love it.
Thank you. That was very special.
Oh, that was good.
It was really fun to sing that for the first time two days ago. Because it was like, oh, we don't really know it yet, but that was already so fun.
I like to picture my whole year when I hear it.
The one you just had or the one you're about to have?
The one I just had. It's bye. It's bye to the year.
You were doing like the Apple photo thing.
And what's the verdict on this year? Oh, it was a complicated year. Yeah. But a good building year. Oh, cool. Building year. Wow.
It was like deep.
Ask me, hit me.
It was like... Yeah, what's the verdict on this year for you, Dax?
Oh. It was... It was good.
It was a building year.
Stronger for it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. No, I had a great fucking year.
I really did.
We had a lot of fun trips. Kids just get more and more and more interesting and funny and more fun to be around. Yeah. We had a great year work-wise.
Yeah. Another great year.
It was a good year.
The big one? Oh, we should get... Erica, we have a closer. Yeah.
We're going to bring in a closer, closing pitcher. And this, a lot of people know Perfect Ten Charlie, and they know he's married to Erica, and they've met Perfect Ten Charlie on here, and now you're going to get to meet Erica on here.
And if you listened to Synced, Erica had made an appearance on Synced, and people were like, she needs to be on every episode.
She's a boss bitch. She's tough, cool, radical, the kind of gal that Kristen falls in love with.
Yeah, Erica's a very powerful presence. She's very decisive, assertive. She's also can, she can wail. She's got such a beautiful voice. Hi, Erica.
You're no stranger to some side zippies.
Welcome.
I think it's just D for me, right?
Christmas time is here. Happiness and cheer.
Oh, this is, oh, cozy. It's tight. Cute sweater. Thank you.
Hi, Erica. Welcome to the program. We gave you an intro, but you weren't in the room.
No, I'm here now.
We're saying your praises. Pull that mic a little closer to yourself. Okay, hi. Although you got a big old fucking powerful... That's right, I'll turtle it.
Well, Rob said he's going to ride it. Do you want this for when you ride it? He's going to ride it.
He's going to what? Anyways, in our intro, we said people know Perfect 10 Charlie. Yes, yes. And now the beautiful bride.
That's right. Yes. I'm here.
Takes a big woman to live up to those looks, and boy, does she do it.
I'm a pitch hitter today. Get it? Get it?
Musical theater jokes.
Well, earlier you said pinch hitter.
I did.
And so she said she's a pitch hitter.
Yeah.
Like a hitter.
I gotcha. It's a really cool, theater kids are typically cool. They're generally rocking the school. That's the theme of today. That's right.
They're bullies though. That's the only thing I don't like about them. They're always shoving guys in lockers. And then singing about it. Okay, I also just want to say, for my money, this is my favorite Christmas song in the world. This is number one.
Did you say that right before we started? No pressure.
Oh, that's too much pressure? Okay, I just broke one of the rules. That's all right. Theater rules.
But I love that you love it, and that is why it was important to get it, because Charlie Brown Christmas is very important to us.
It's the one to watch. Yeah. It's who brought you to the party.
That's right.
It's our first Christmas cartoon.
That's right.
I'm going to tell one second story. This is my mother encouraged me to do this back in the old days. I was trying to explain this to our children and they could not conceptualize what I was saying. I was like, girls, there was only three channels. That's it. And if you didn't see it, you missed it. And there was no way to record it.
and these bastards in Detroit, you had two, four and seven, they would counter programs. So you'd have the Grinch on channel two at eight and you would have Charlie Brown on channel four at eight and you had to fucking pick and you were seven and it was not cool. And my mother said, you should write a letter to the stations. And I did, I wrote a letter to the stations and they did not respond.
But I do think streaming might be a result of that letter.
Right, and now you can watch it. It's on, what is it, on Apple Plus?
Oh, right now, Charlie Brown's on Apple Plus, and I think everyone can watch it for free right now. I think that particular cartoon can be watched on Apple Plus for free.
And it's the one to watch. Yeah, we watched it last night.
Yeah!
There we go!
Now we're talking. Apple Plus. Now Christmas is here.
Amazing.
Oh, my God. Guys, that is so hard, what they just did.
It is. Good job. This was Kristen. You guys just did this in your choir class. So she's just coming off of hearing it with like 25 of you singing. So I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart because I know that's not how you wanted to do it.
And Dax was like, just sing it alone. I was like, I cannot sing it alone. That will ruin the integrity of the arrangement. I must have Erica pop in and do the alto part.
That doesn't align with your values. We squish back on it.
We made it happen.
It's a good time for Defiance. That's right, that's right. Tell us about your choir class.
You want to tell the world about your choir class? It was so fun. Well, we were talking a long time ago about how if you're an adult and you have hobbies, like you like to dance, or maybe you played baseball in high school, you could go do that again. You could join a league. You could, you know, you could take a dance class. As a non-professional, you can do it. Yeah, just for fun.
And so we were like, you can't do that anywhere, singing-wise. And so we're like, well, do we have to make it, right?
Mm-hmm. And Erica, who knows everything about publicity and marketing, she was like, let's beta test this. And after I looked that up, I was like, yes, let's do that. And we like basically emailed, DMed a bunch of like local singers that we know, some that aren't local, some people that we know that have different jobs, but just like really, really whale.
And one of the coolest things is when we first started and now it's like probably 32. Five of us? Yeah. And about 25 or 28 come every week. And it's like, that's sort of rotating.
You got a bogey too, right? You guys all have a guy no one knows, which I love. Now you probably do.
He's the best. He's the absolute best. We don't know how he got there, but he's incredible and he helps us set up and it's wonderful. He bakes bread.
You're not supposed to eat stuff from strangers.
Well, we're eating in this choir. We're eating a lot of stuff from strangers. Everybody bakes something. We bring wine. We sit around. We harmonize together. If you don't love a pot light, look, it's not for you. One of the first times when we were at a theater, there was a security guard at the theater and halfway through the class, he starts... just riffing.
And it was the most beautiful sounds we had ever, and we were like, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Sir?
Sir? Excuse me? I was gonna say.
Get on in here.
And he was singing with us, and we've had a lot of drop-ins of very cool people, and it's just been very soul-fulfilling. It's lovely. It's such a cool thing you guys did. It's so casual. We just socialized. It's great.
I can't go to my AA meeting anymore, but that's okay. I'm sure we've prioritized the right thing in the house.
We're done with Mondays.
We're done with Mondays.
We're done with Mondays. It's going back to its original day.
I'm so glad you guys have that. Kristen's always so happy when she comes home from that. It's so nurturing to her, her beautiful little soul. Mama, thank you. You put this whole thing together.
Yes, thank you.
You rehearsed. You swindled everyone into coming and doing this. And thank you so much for doing that. Erica, thank you for popping by. Gabe, thank you so much. Jacob, come on now. You've been more excited. Hannah.
I'm off mic, but. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh my God.
You're using your mic for bad.
Of course I am. All right. I love you guys. Merry Christmas.
Happy holidays. Love everyone here.
May everyone get a dino this year. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Hello, ladies and gerbs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting, and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire.
You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittany Broski, and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa, and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit.
Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.