Kristen Bell
Appearances
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Is Dax Shepard Bert's New Best Friend? | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
God.
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Is Dax Shepard Bert's New Best Friend? | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Oh, you do?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Josh Gad Returns
I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. Monica, comes in and tells us what was wrong. Burberry?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Anna Kendrick Returns
It is. It's Sean Baker. He did The Florida Project and Red Rocket.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Anna Kendrick Returns
Here, I can email you it. What will your husband say is his favorite condiment?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
He said, I want to, but I can't because her parents work at Dairy Queen. And then, you know, that got back to me. And then I was like, oh, I see. so they can't. It's not that they don't want to. It's just, okay, this thing about me has made it actually impossible for love. And then that really, really detoured the rest of my life.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
I don't know how much I can keep in of the story I'm about to say. We had someone on this show who was flirting with me. I was like, yeah, he's flirting, but I know he's not so interested. Like, I know. And we left and Dax was like, he's going to ask you out. And I was like, I mean, maybe, whatever. And did Letterman call you? Actually, yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
Okay, so he didn't, right? Well, hold on. Like, this went nowhere. And I actually was kind of mad at you when it went nowhere. Hold on a second.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
That would have been more clear. I would have liked that. It wasn't clear. No, and that's also not what happened. He texted right after we recorded and said like, hey, I got you or something. I'm sorry? I know. That's like new slang. I'm learning it too. What does it mean? Like, I got your number. That's flirty to me.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
Then I texted him, and then I was flirting. Did you say you up? That's what everyone says. That's the go-to.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
I texted him, and I was flirty, and then there was no response.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
I was mad at you first because I was an easy target. And then I really was honest with myself. And I was like, man, this is why I don't do this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
Yeah, because I know. Listen, stop. So he so, you know, it's like he likes you. That was me protecting myself. And then I was like, you know what? No, I am going to text him. I am going to flirt. And then full ghosting was like, oh, yeah, this is why you don't do this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
But it doesn't penetrate. Yeah, it's true. Did you have a thing that I've figured out I have in therapy, which is I seek specifically white male approval so much because that was who was rejecting me all the time. Oh, God. I have to think about that one.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
Exciting. We pulled together 10 of our favorites.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
And it just pulls out the thing in the other person that they don't even know. It's so under the surface. And all of a sudden this like recluse is crying and opening. It's unbelievable.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
Oh, I love this. That makes me love Steven Spielberg.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
He gave them a percentage of their— But this, like, 12-year-old boy, like, they could have easily been like, meh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
This is the best story I've ever heard. This is so special. I know you know it because you reflect on it a lot and you give a lot of gratitude vocally. But how wonderful.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
That must be so annoying. It is. That every time you do a project and you're doing these incredible roles and incredible work and the rumors that come out are always about who you're fucking or who you're dating. Right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
I was like, oh my God, that is fucking so cool. That's life, right?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
Does she respect the balance? Does she like that they're up?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
That's a tremendous amount of empathy for a six-year-old. Most kids looked around and they were like, yikes, that's bad, but I have to protect myself. At that age, we're all just trying to survive elementary school and middle school, trying to get through it. And so to bring people in is very rare.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
I do, because I thought you were saying ringworm. That's like an intestinal disease, and it could be that, too.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
But I kind of like that she called, you can call it a rain worm if you want.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
It is. Yeah, I like that. But she's also said that about her wedding because they got married at the courthouse and she wore just like a cute outfit. And people asked like, oh, you didn't want to get dressed up? And she was like, I get to do that a lot for my job. So this got to be a different thing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
I do. But mine's reality. So it's like not cool to call it a story. That was great. Well, yeah, I grew up in, you know, God, how many times? She's never heard it. You can cut it out. Grew up in Georgia, all white. The boys didn't like me. me. Same experience, by the way. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Monday 2024
Well, that was the culmination. Okay. It wasn't, there were lots of things that were telling me, Oh, uh-oh, being brown isn't so great in this environment. And then it culminated in sixth grade. And this boy said he couldn't date me because my parents worked at Dairy Queen, which they don't. But Indians worked at the Dairy Queen or ran the Dairy Queen, I guess. Owned. Owned, probably. Franchised.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Adam Scott Returns
And everyone's like, I know, I know. Totally. I totally agree.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Miss Monica Law.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I found that girls were such a refuge from the boyness. I'm with dudes all the time, and I'm jumping my bicycle, and I have to fight this other kid. And then I talk to these girls... And I could just be this whole other side of myself.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
You were cute. You had an older sister. That's the biggest hack any boy can have is to have an older sister. Every boy I knew with an older sister did just fine. Interesting. But think of all these boys that weren't confident or they weren't good looking. It wasn't even an option for them.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
But it also makes sense if he didn't have that built-in family, that he would have cherished the one he built and not taken for granted because he didn't have it. And he was the youngest schoolmaster in London?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I hate to say it. I'm not letting my male teacher take it. No, no, sure. Your dad was the good guy. He did it with my mom. I mean, they went as a couple. If they were both teachers, how did they feel about you dropping out of school?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Listen to me. One of my favorite things to talk to actors about is actors who have been on soap operas. Because, at least in America, they shoot like 100 pages a day. Yeah. It seems like the most insane experience.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Do they have the same crazy schedule in England as they have here? Oh, yeah. Did they pay you okay? Were you like 17 going like, I'm fucking rich?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And you want to run from it, right? I came out on a show called Punk, which was a reality show. And I didn't want anyone to bring that up for like 10 years.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
We can get one of those for you, too, if you want. Really get you crying. Nine or ten of them in you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
But if you added it up in two years, you probably did more content.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
than you did for the next eight years doing features it's true i did it for a good few years yeah you probably did several hundred hours oh my god of acting and how was your ego then were you were you insufferable yeah i think most people would have been at that age yes 17 with your own apartment going to the pub and you're fucking buying rounds yeah that's a really good
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Well, you basically just described, you were like a star college athlete. And then you got to the NBA and you're like, I need to recalculate just a bit. I'm going to have to learn a bit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Okay, so you leave that and then you get yourself in a play that... ends up in the West End. And then ultimately Broadway with a different title and a little bit of reworking. Yeah. You have a couple kind of breakthroughs. And that play certainly, yeah. You win a Laurence Olivier Award at some point.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Because when I read the title of it this morning, I was like, I don't know what the fuck that means, but I know what it is. I said they should have just called it The Terrible Parents. Yeah, there we go. I could have got on board with that. But then you go and you do it on Broadway and there's some great people in that cast, right? Yeah. They recast and asked me to join the cast.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Then when you met these other folks, you're like, thank fucking God they replaced.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I have never noticed this about you in the past, but now that we're sitting face to face, you have the exact same eyes as Joaquin. Has anyone ever told you that? No. Fuck, it's driving me wild. That's crazy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, that would be sad. There's not a flame retardant enough lens to capture them both in a two shot without the thing fucking exploding.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Oh, we're going to get to that. His big breakthrough. Her boyfriend's Matt Damon.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That's pretty good. A standee? Yeah. Should we bring it out?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Let's get him on the scene. You're going to like this. I've known Monica for a long time and I've never, ever seen this look on her face. Look at that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
It's your lucky skirt. I guess so. Oh, my God. I'm expecting a shot with you and Jude that's going to rival that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, that makes me proud of you because you buy a lot of clothes and I worry you're not wearing the ones you've already bought. And this demonstrates that you...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
In school, she would be in class and just watch the movie from beginning to end.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Also, my conclusion, I have a theory on everything, as you'll learn. That was one of my favorite movies as well. It was my girlfriend of nine years and I's first date was going to see that movie. So it was also special for that reason. But I left and I was like, why is that movie so powerful? I think it's because we all think we're special and we're just waiting for someone to notice.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And he was just so special and no one would notice. And he's a janitor. And then finally, and I think there was some wish fulfillment there. in that movie that was really sweet, which is like, I'm special too. This could happen to me in some version.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And even if it's not intellectual, it's just I'm worthy of someone finally acknowledging I'm special.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
He's so strong, too. Did you see School Ties? No. Is that the one he was in right before?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
This play he does where he gets nominated for a Tony. I can land the plane on that. And that opens up the door to Talented Mr. Ripley. Proceed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Even darker. It actually made it more believable. You would have been sucked into his whole thing from the get go. So does that opportunity come directly off the heels of that play?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Talk about a guy who is chasing everything and critics be damned. I like poetry. I like music.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I mean, it's as crazy as you having been in a movie with Bill Cosby and it was about him fucking drugging you. I mean, that's how bonkers that is. But we'll move on.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Well, she's very emotionally. It's there on the surface. Yeah. Are you jealous of that? Because I did not allow myself to cry for about 30 years. And then I think with having kids and a friend went to the hospital and it started. It just comes. But I'm like, yes, give it all to me. I really would love a full. I haven't had that yet. Yeah, like ugly face. Embarrassed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Allegedly. Allegedly, he hasn't killed anyone. You don't hear that often. No, you don't. Allegedly, he hasn't murdered anyone. Is that legally freeing?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Remember you said you liked my house and the next time you see me, I don't have it anymore. That'll answer that question. Oh, Dax, you downsized. Well, someone made that decision for me. And I guess in a way I made it for myself. Anyways. Okay. So how do you meet Mengele?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Did you tell him to his face? I don't think I can do this. Anthony?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
He was pulling together this incredible group. When you list those people in that junction, it's almost like the outsiders. It's like every one of you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah. Mm-hmm. So of that cast, Matt was the big star. Yeah. It already sounds that you're this way. I know you do it with directors. I read enough about you. You really do a value yourself to instruction.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, yeah. Do you think you were learning like, okay, you're not supposed to do this in real life, but it's permissible here. In this space, I can do all the things I've trained myself to stop doing. That's it. It's like going back to the...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I'll say you were given two gifts. One is you have a director who's already directed The English Patient. You know you're safe to do whatever and you'll be protected. That's not a gift a lot of young actors have from a director.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
The Sinead O'Connor one, I was just like pouring tears. And then I do this thing again, because I beat it out of myself. When I start, I go, I start laughing uncontrollably. So it was a mix of laughing and crying. What's your history with crying?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
If your name was Monica Law and you were like a DA in a town.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, I'll never forget the first time that happened to me as I was working for Mike Judge, someone I idolize. And I'm like, if he tells me to stick a banana straight up my ass and then pull it out and peel it and eat it, I will do it. I actually trust his sense of comedy more than my own. And it's a very fun feeling.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
At first you think, oh, this person fucked up. This person I idolize thinks I can do something that I probably can't.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And so suddenly it was like, we're going to really do this, okay? Did you meet Ethan on that movie, Suplee? You probably never worked together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's one of my best friends.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
What I think is unique about yours, I wonder if you agree, the great gift of your 25 years doing this is inordinate amount of really special directors. Clint Eastwood, Soderbergh I worship, Spielberg right out of the gates. You've got to sit front row. Couple of times Scorsese, I know you're crazy. Yeah, that's rare.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I think even for huge movie stars, they've had three or four of the legends and you've really been with a lot of them.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So after Ripley, and I already know because I've read, but your 20s, it's like you need to. I wouldn't even advise 20-year-olds to not do this, but boy, you care so goddamn much. You're so certain of where you've got to go and what you can't be. And so how hung up out of 10 were you about being good looking in movies? Yeah. Which now I bought them at 50.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
It's the great comedy of life, though, because it's like when you're an old man, you're like, well, fuck, if I look like Harrison Ford, I'd be indie. If you're you, you think this. We all got this stupid fucking story. And we got to be someone else other than ourselves. It's comical because it's happening to everyone. Brad Pitt's knocking his tooth out to be in Fight Club.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Give me one more round. My wife will say like, God, I should have done a lot of nudity before. So you get past the point where you're trying to fight. You don't want me to get naked. I don't want to get naked. And then you can say, fuck man, I blew it. I looked hot as shit. I should have been naked in everything I did. Okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So the one I want to talk to you about, because I read the biography and I don't know if you have, but the Mike Nichols biography. Oh yeah. I read it. Isn't it wonderful? What a book. And I don't really read many Hollywood books, but enough people told me.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Oh, fantastic. Addicted to Hallucine and losing all of his finance. I mean, he was on a wild fucking ride. He touched every cornerstone.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That makes me so happy that he lived up for you to the guy I read about in the book. And I was completely ignorant on Mike Nichols other than I had seen his movies. I thought he was a movie director. I didn't know he had been a humongous comedian.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Groundbreaking comedians. Yeah. Embarrassingly, I didn't even know that he came from being a comic. I mean, this fucking guy gets put on a boat at six years old with his little brother by himself crossing the ocean.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Oh, unbelievable. I recommend everyone read that book, even if you're not into movies or any of that. What a life story. To me, because I'm an addict. To me, the crack smoking is the best fucking part. Insightful, you mean, to who he was? Yeah, just I was a really high functioning addict myself. And I was getting A's at UCLA and getting into the groundlings and also smoking crack on the weekends.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I applaud anyone who can juggle those fucking balls. I mean, I couldn't. I had to retire at 29 from it. But I find that to be one of the most fascinating aspects of it is how much he was juggling.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, I want life to be an all-you-can-eat bar. And I'm just going back up, up, up, up.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
All they just put fried chicken out. You already eat spaghetti. I don't give a fuck. Okay, let's go back. Yeah. Chicken legs. Oh my God, they have banana splits at this place? I'm having that too. With toppings. I don't want to miss a thing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
She's on the ladder. Yeah, I get to observe people who stuck with it. I say this a lot. I feel worse for people who can ride the line of moderation plus because you don't have wreckage. There's really nothing you can point at to say this is taking more than it gives. But for everybody, even if you're moderate, there comes a point at an age where it actually is taking a little more than it's giving.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, I was looking at your slate of things we're here to talk about. I don't know how you made them, but there's no way we can even get through all the shit that's coming out. I mean, there's three big, big, big projects all landing around the same time. A couple of them were very small when I made them.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I just won't go. Or how about my big thing was vacation. I remember going with my girlfriend on vacation. I'm like... Well, what in the fuck are we going to do for seven days? I know what's supposed to happen. We go to the bar, we get a few drinks, we meet weirdos, we end up doing this. That's the key you turn. I don't need plans. I need to check and diets. That's the plan.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That for me was the hardest where it's like, I don't really even know what to do. I don't have a game plan to amuse myself without this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Well, it shows. Your physique looks fantastic. I have a note I'll get to in your new movie about your buns, but we'll earmark that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That's a very solid footing because I've had many dudes in AA over my last 20 years who are English. Now living here. Yes. And they go, I go home and I tell people I'm an alcoholic. And they're like, that doesn't even exist in England. Conceptually, a lot of people even, what does that mean? I remember being in Italy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
There was a British kid in our hostel and I was explaining to him I'm an alcoholic. And he's like, well, what does that mean? I go, well, you know, I'll go out and I'll drink a fifth of Jack and then I'll have a 12 pack and I'll get Coke. And he's like, yeah, I guess at home we would be proud of that. You're telling it like you're embarrassed by that, but we would very much be proud.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
they're still going out and having fun they're just not getting wasted maybe they like waking up and not recounting everything they said in the conversation with so-and-so and thinking like oh my god is this worthy of a call yes exactly that's a big shift certainly in the uk that's impressive yeah it's happening here too i keep reading that it's down which it's got to be good although i hope they go fucking hard for at least a decade like i did i'm still delighted i went hard well
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Well, again, that's why I like drugs. It was back to talking to girls. I sit down with you with an eight ball. I got no fear of telling you all my fears, my vulnerabilities. I'm impenetrable when I'm on coke. I'll give you the whole me. I'm not worried at all. That's what I liked about it. I liked the intimacy it could immediately give you with another male.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Sitting down with some dude you just met and you're hearing about his dad. You know the shit you talk about on coke. You're like, your dad was a firefighter and I'm so interested. Yeah. What are you talking like? Did he come home smoky?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the many business plans I hatched. You're very entrepreneurial when you're on Coke. You've got a lot of good business plans. Did you ever make promises, though, like start them?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I've written a thousand checks. My hands couldn't catch while gacked up for sure. Oh, fuck. Well, while we're on this, the other one I just want to touch in before we get into the 10 new movies you have. Downey's a good friend of mine. And so you got to do those two Sherlock's together.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Was it a party? And I've also heard from, I think it was Jake Gyllenhaal was telling us, that Guy has a set that's pretty fucking radical. Was that the case?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
But, you know, it was sort of happening. Yeah, it's a sweet moment you got to share with him. The sky again was open for him.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
In the morning, you're crying. In the evening, you're kicking someone's ass. That's right. And then you're making love at lunch. You're like, fuck, I've done everything a human can do. That's right. In 10 hours because we're shooting French. And we have 22 days. And if we get bad weather, we're fucked. So you have the anxiety of it all.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Oh, how fun. And what ownership you must feel over those movies.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Oh, you must. I hope so. Also, what an easy thing to greenlight. The charisma between you two motherfuckers. Like, I might even argue you're the only person with as big of a sparkle. Downey's such a weird little fucking unicorn. God, is he a special weirdo. And I'm going to add, just to bring him back down to life, he's also a dumbass. So he's like the most brilliant person you met.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Like, I'm sure he was giving the most brilliant ideas. And I bet he was hitting you with a couple of like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Doyle's rolling over in his grave. Are the mechanics of a Guy Ritchie movie at all laborious? Because it is visually so specific and cool.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That's so great. Okay. I watched The Order last night. Gosh. A couple of things right out of the gates. Just delighted to see a movie like this because we haven't made one of these in a long time. This was a standard fare in the early 2000s.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
You are, I'm going to fluff your pillows now, so buckle up. You're not unrecognizable because clearly it's you, but you're unrecognizable in this very fun way. This role, I'm like, this is like Gene Hackman or like late Paul Newman. When you walk up your face, I'm like, he's a real dude. This is not a movie star. This is very Gene Hackman-y.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I mean, this is such a good trope. I miss it. It's like the life is a disaster because you've dedicated it all to one thing you're good at.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That was Ron. Well, that movie, fuck it, we're right here. That is also a very un-Ron Howard movie.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
It's still the Bible of white nationalists. I watched Docs as recently as last year, where that's still the Bible of the white nationals.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Be still my beating vagina. I mean, he is as goddamn sexy as a kid. We do love him. What a brave actor to take on that role.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Because I think it's still alive in Coeur d'Alene. Oh, I'm sure.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, like, I think that's still a real hotbed of white nationalism. And I would have been a little nervous making that movie.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Oh, I just watched a front line on this thing called the Deutschland... Oh, Christ. Deutschland's something. They've gotten some officials elected. It's thriving on the millions. It's very fucking scary.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, there's so many forces at work. This current rise of this Deutschland, I wish I could remember the name of the party. It coincides perfectly with them deciding they were going to be a home for refugees, which is beautiful. And a commitment at that time by maybe Merkel saying, we have this pass and here's one of the ways we're going to atone for it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, that's like a force that happens. And then now this breathes oxygen into this other thing. And then, yeah, charismatic leader pops up and rides on the fumes of all this other stuff that's going on.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Because he's going to direct a couple episodes of The Bateman show.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
To go start with his big beard. He looked insane, yeah. And then I saw him this summer.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
You have something with Monica's new favorite. Was it writer or director that wrote, what's your threesome movie you love so much? Challengers.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
It's also very interesting in today's times to watch that because you have two people that are polar opposites and they're both brilliant. And just to watch them go at it and the way they could go at it and how entertaining that was. And yet it wasn't like file into this camp and declare yourself this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Okay, so Black Rabbit's the show with Bateman, right? Yeah. That's on Netflix? That's coming? It'll be next year on Netflix, yes. And then the third thing is a Star Wars project called Skeleton Crew. The Order and Skeleton Crew come out with it three days of one another.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
This is just my own selfish curiosity. When you did Peter Pan and Wendy, was that supposed to come out theatrically or do you always know it was going to be a streamer?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
But a lot of actors got fired. There was like a two year window where people were signing up for big movies and presumably they had box office bonuses or they had participation and success. And then they were like, well, guess what? That's completely off the table. None of them really stepped up and said, here's the money you would have normally made.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I'll tell you what I did, Jude. Two Christmases ago. We go hard for Christmas. We go hard for everything. You just saw my yard. There's skeletons everywhere. We go hard. Prepping for Halloween. And the problem with going really hard is we went hard all of December two years ago. And then we get to the big day and it's Christmas. We unwrap our presents.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And I go, I can feel everyone's dopamine leave. There's nothing more to look forward to. And I go, my God, we've got 10 more days together. How do we do this? It's all downhill. So two years ago, I said, new family rule. Every year on Christmas, the second we finish opening the presents, we get on an airplane and we go somewhere. And we did that last year. And by God, it worked.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
You got to be careful here. I get name trouble all the time.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Apologies to Graham. Sorry, Graham. Y'all should move here to the States where we'll call you Graham.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So Graham Norton. Oh, shit. Now he's gunning for it. You just got it. Yeah, I think every year because we have a routine. I told you we go hard in December. It starts with Family Vacation, the Christmas vacation movie. Oh, yeah, yeah. Chevy Chase. Yes. Yeah, I can imagine being in it and being upset about it. But on the outside, as an actor that's not in it, I'm like, what a goddamn blessing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Every year, I appreciate Chevy Chase for two hours. Every year. And I'm going to until I'm dead. That is such a gift. Where do you go on holiday when you live in California? We went to Mexico. I'll tell you exactly what I do. It's so embarrassing to say out loud, but as I've gotten money, I've become a total hotel snob.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Jude Law, though, is not a failure, despite not going into jurisprudence. I just want to make that very clear. He is a Tony and Academy Award nominated actor. The Talented Mr. Ripley, The Holiday, Sherlock Holmes, Fantastic Beasts, Cold Mountain. And a movie that he is truly, from the bottom of my heart, spectacular in. Chameleon. This happens once in a while. It certainly happened with Vice.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So all I do is I go to fourseasons.com and I look at the list of hotels and then I go see which ones are booked and how long it'll take us to get there. I don't give a fuck where we go as long as there's a Four Seasons there. And so it turned out the one that was closest and had availability was in Mexico. And we went and then it was delightful. It was great climate, lovely water.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Everything was great. It was a big win. And you're in Mexico, so they'll let you do something they would never let you do in the States, which is I got a couple's massage with my then eight-year-old daughter. They won't massage a minor, especially on an eight-year-old in the States. But there, everything was great. And I'm laying next to her.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I got to be in the room with her, like, experiencing her first massage, and she loved it. I bet. That's really funny.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Oh, my God. Okay, great. So let's just for one second talk about Skeleton Crew because that's also coming out. But I doubt you're going to come see us again before December 3rd, which breaks my heart. So let's talk about it now.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Well, I just think it's pretty cool to step into that world, I guess, Star Wars.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
It looks awesome, but it also doesn't look like any previous Ron Howard movie at all. But it looks fantastic. People are loving that one, right?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah. Okay, my last question for you is about your wife. She is a behavioral psychologist.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
We constantly have psychologists on. And I love it. But of course, I'm always most intrigued, if I'm being honest. You have this playbook. You kind of understand emotions. You know how to articulate how you feel. But then you're also just a real human in real life. Like in some weird way, you think they would have the answer key.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
for existing, but I've never really got to interview the husband of someone with the answer key. And when you guys get in like a spat, can she just go like, here's exactly what's going on. You're responding to this thing when you were nine years old that you already told me, and I already fucking know this, and jump to it. The short answer is absolutely.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
If I put myself in your shoes, I'm very opinionated on how we should raise the kids. It's very important to me. I have a lot of opinions. I care more about that than anything.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And I might have a chip on my shoulder that in theory, she probably would be right, theoretically. If we were debating this course of action with the kids, I might feel like, hey, just because you have all this training and knowledge doesn't mean my opinion isn't as valid.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, in theory, it's great. In practice, this is going to happen. And it's a good mixture. Is she a Brit or an American? She's British. Well, she is. Okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Well, I don't know. I like it, I guess. That she's British? Yeah. Because I like exotic things. And if I had the option for exotic, I don't know, there's something nice about the fact that you're with a blue.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Some might. Like the world? The world says so. I don't know what I'm saying. I thought there was something there and there's not.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah. I don't know. Well, all I know is the sky was the limit for your options and you got yourself a hometown girl. So I think I like that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Do you struggle at all? I had this hang up. I was with the girl for nine years. She was with me through all the struggle. And then we broke up and I was really quite bothered by the fact that I would meet someone that already knew the successful version of me, already knew someone potentially on TV. Does that make any sense to you?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah. I don't want to bring this up because it's not a fun topic and I don't want to bring up anything scandalous at all. All I want to ask, the one curiosity I have is during this fucking phone hacking thing, were you ever getting suspicious at any point? Like someone's got to be like, were there moments where you're like, this is inexplicable?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah. I think it's hugely traumatic. It's so nuts that someone greenlit that. I know. On such a huge scale. Right. They were doing the prime minister.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Okay, now back to your crying. Do you have a couple? I'll just start. So I have two that are going to guarantee set me off. One is when people are incredibly earnest in the face of how hard it is to be earnest. The Olympians were flying to the Olympics, some team, and they decided to reenact the video for call me crazy, but here's my number. So call me baby.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I honestly think it would run the risk of making someone lose their mind.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Because you're already, let's just be honest, and I deal with it to some extent, not the degree you do, but reality has already been augmented. Like I go to Starbucks and people there know me. That's its own thing to come to terms with and integrate into your existence.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Well, the kids, that's a really important piece because I will say I'm really nice in general, in public. Me too. In the times I've been really aggressive.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Same, same. The only times people have seen really bad versions of myself is when I'm with my kids. I'm sorry they didn't sign up for this. I know you think somehow that's a price they should pay for having me as a parent, but that's bullshit. That's sins of our father stuff. Yeah, that's right. And yeah, I've been my worst self because I'm already a suspicious person.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So I'd be like, oh, I know who it is. I know what's happening. Something's happening. I would feel it. That would be maddening. You really went through something.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That's the thing I really relate to you is like, I do that thing, I'm defending them in quotes, but really all they've done is seen me go from normal to really agitated and aggressive to someone else. And now they're just absorbing all that energy. Yeah. So whatever damage this person that was filming my kids, which I was pissed about, did to them, what I ended up doing was worse.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And then having to fucking accept that, now it's like another layer. And I was like, that person took away my control and power, but then I did something even worse with it. I know.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah. Wow. You lived through that. I bet there's still residual decompression.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Well, thanks for telling me about that. I read that and I was like, oh man, the things I've had.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
England's a weird place. I've only sued one of those magazines and it was an English magazine. It's interesting because you guys actually have more protections than we do. It's just a moral thing, right? They just decide, let's really push the line. It's just really curious because it's like you have more legal protection there. That is bizarre. And yet they seem to offend worse than anyone else.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
as if we need to know like you're in a position of power or in the government well dude this has been a blast i really like you do people normally come in and just start talking i feel really i loved it that's how it works what a joy but this was fun because we have some mutual friends and i've never met you and you're delightful well you too it's been such a thrill to be on this really i've loved it now you need to tell me other than anna who else cries i didn't cry
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And they had choreographed it on the plane and the camera's moving. Everyone jumps out of their seat and they're singing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Oh, I'm going to have to send you a list. I mean, not to brag, but we've had 800 people and I bet you a good 30 of them have cried.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Well, they're kind of known for that. They cry at the pub in the bathroom. Six pints. Under the stairwell. They let it sneak out. Under the stairs. They let it all out there. That's it. When they're hiding. Your autobiography should be called Under the Stairwell. From under the stairwell to the top of the stage. My life in the limelight. Well, this has been a blast.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I hope you'll come back the next time you have three movies coming out at once. All right, be well.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Okay. Brand new. Regular. Right off the factory floor. Darn it. What? Well, this would be a spoiler for a future episode, but I was going to put my cashmere in a little bag and bring it. Oh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Group dancing, this wedding proposal that was very much like that. I'm like, you know, there's so many assholes in the world that want to fucking beat you down for expressing that exact kind of thing. And when I see people be brave enough to just do it anyways, I start crying. I'm like, that is so sweet that in this mean ass world, you still sing Call Me Crazy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Well, they got active in the comments. I don't know if I, I think I didn't tell you that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Because I wanted to preserve your overall relationship with a place you love.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
But they got active in the comments. They were like, don't steal our mug. They were a little, they got a little.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
They really didn't get the joke that I was suggesting steal the mug and leave money.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And I think they got a little worried. So they got busy in the comments.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Unless you're going to leave $1,000. I bet they would be proud.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Were they sold out when you went and looked? Well, I know they weren't because you read from me the website.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Oh, right. Okay, because you were tagging people and things.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Because women don't like horses as much as men. According to Barbie.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That is true. But according to Barbie, men love horses are the patriarch.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Because I'll suggest that genetically, you're probably more tolerant of high heat. And you're like, that's preposterous.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Just shut up about it. Only I'm allowed to talk about being Indian. Yeah, that's fair.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
But I'm going to argue it's not a great argument because the U.S. is also surrounded on three sides by ocean.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Because India is a goddamn peninsula. This is a subcontinent. This thing is submerged in water where seahorses are roaming free and wild. I would even think you'd over index.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
A, how well do you understand American schools and how much were the English schools like it? My junior high, you just got fucking beat down if you showed any earnestness or you declared you liked something. Oh, same in the UK.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Now your position is just like you've arrived. You almost sound like Steven Seagal. How do you say in English?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I think there's a big... Now I sound like Trump when he's talking about Kamala Harris. I don't know. She's Indian. That's fine. She was black. Now she's Indian.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Well, to be clear, I didn't either from my parents. I had it from my grandparents. I would go to my grandma Yolis and she had those National Geographic books and she wanted me to.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, I'm very, very smart and educated. It's most educated of my lineage.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
All right, but back to, so I didn't have that either, but I did have it from my grandma. I'm just adding context for your American, because I grew up in America and you didn't, so I'm telling you how it worked.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
You might totally be right, but I really want to know the thought process of how you came to that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah. So here's the one I was going to launch really, really quick. And this is not thought out and probably full of holes like Swiss cheese, preferably on pastrami with coleslaw and a little Russian dressing. We don't have exotic animals, you know? We don't have lions and tigers and elephants and... Monkeys. Monkeys. And so they're very exotic and interesting to us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
But maybe if you grew up in Africa or India where these things are indigenous, they're not that... Interesting. So that could be kind of an argument. Like, they're so exotic to us. They're almost like fairy tales, dragons and whatever.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I'm not standing on that argument, but I did just come up with it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Okay, here. I got a new one that just came off the assembly line. We were raised on Disney cartoons and the stars of the cartoons are generally animals. They're Wile E. Coyote and all these fun and Dumbo and what's the little deer? Poor Bambi.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So I do think our cultural products are pretty rife with animals. That's what I said. But I don't watch any cartoons in India. So I don't know if those two are populated. I bet they are. Kids like talking animals, don't you think?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
When he was a kid, were the cartoons, were the characters in cartoons mostly animals or were they humans?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Let's get it straight from the horse's mouth. Ding, ding, ding. Horse. We call people horse's mouth.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
What if your dad goes, how the fuck would I know? I'm American. And then he hung up.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That's so cute. He's in a meeting, but if his daughter calls, ding, ding, ding, future guest.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Just trying to figure out if everyone likes animals or just Americans.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Certainly. You must. I think you need to extend this to Westerners because certainly when I'm in Europe, people, everyone has dogs.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
In fact, if you go to like Nice and all these little French Riviera towns. Yeah. There are mechanized dog poop scooper uppers like in Cannes and stuff. Right. These French let their fucking dog's waist just fall all over the ground.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
They had dog poops on the side. Oh, so horny. Let's go into the. Oh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
No, but they weren't hosting guests. They probably put their cats and dogs and seahorses away.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
But he's going to be on the same boat as you. Exactly. He'll tell us what it's like in fucking Stockton, California.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Right. But I don't think I think that's different than a veterinarian.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
She won't know either. Are you talking about she'll know if she had pets in America? What are you talking about? I thought we're trying to figure out if Indians in India know about seahorses and have pets.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I'm not pushing back on that. I'm introducing a new thing, which I think helps your argument, which is I don't know if other countries have aquariums. Aquariums are huge. Wabi, did you have an aquarium?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yes, and you must have had many friends that had aquariums. Yeah. I had an aquarium. I had an aquarium phase, and my buddies all had aquariums. Sure. And you dump some seahorses in there. I think you throw them in like powder, and then all of a sudden they're alive. There's something really interesting about seahorses where they can be transported as a powder and then become seahorses.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
You know who that bear looks identical to? Did you ever read this book too, Lincoln or Delta, The Great Paper Caper?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I urge you to watch the era's movie with her. And experience it. Yeah. I took my 11-year-old to the theater to watch it. And about six minutes in, I stopped watching the movie and just stared at her in profile and wept the whole time.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That's how the bear's drawn. It looks very similar to that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
The Great Paper Caper is one of my favorite children's books. The drawings are so cute and playful. Remember the owl? They're all like, they show that wide of all of them, what they're doing on their own. I don't remember. Well, someone's cutting down trees and using it to make paper. We don't know who. And they show all the suspects. And I think the owl's just staring at a tree or something.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
One of them's peeing. The snow's yellow where he's at. So cute.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Okay. Yeah, yeah. I guess I'll be... Well, look, we're really far out already for Hollywood. Hollywood. Halloween. Halloween 2025. We already have a lot of balls in motion, as you know.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So might as well just go. And then we'll also have this new book.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So I don't understand why you don't have all of them. You have a brown one and a black one, but there's still one you don't have.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Kind of. You've now got two bear mugs and you're telling me you don't have.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Because like the mug part would be the balls and then there'd be a handle and then there'd be a penis sticking out. Oh, God. And then that cowboy would be on just the...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I love that we're all locked into our generation. He said Build-A-Bear. I said Cabbage Patch. What if, hold on before you pull it off, because I was being rascally about the whole mug thing and steal it and everything. What if the mug they made me was a middle finger? That would be great. And it just had eyes on the middle finger.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Okay, don't do that. Okay. Is there a price they could leave?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Rob, will you read the definition of payola? So in terrestrial radio, there would be DJs who would get in trouble for payola, which is they would start talking about products and they on the side were getting money. And it's against the law.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
How dare you? I just think you need to announce that you've received no money from anyone.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I'm just talking about them. But you started talking about how durable they were, and I was like, now it sounds a little bit like a pitch.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
OK, now I'm super on board. Now. Well, yeah, now. Now I know where their spirit and heart is. Oh, it's a three-toed sloth.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So this is a rare case where I listened to the armcherries. I listen to you as well, but I also listen to the armcherries, which is we talked a lot about my toe fungus. And people were, some people were almost a little panicked. Gotta go to the doctor. Melanoma, melanoma, melanoma. Everyone's like, melanoma, I know someone. Right, so a lot of melanoma stuff. Okay, there's a lot funny here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And this really kind of ding, ding, dings it as well. This is tied in in a weird way.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, so I go to my, now he got really mad when I called him a GP. He's not. He's an internist.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And I hadn't realized that that was so offensive. But oh, but that's neither here nor there.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
No, just he made a lot of analogies. I'm not going to repeat because then I'll offend some GPs. But but just he he's I'm an internist. I pull the toe out. He looks at it. And and while he's looking at it, he goes, OK, so you tell your wife she's our shiksa. Wow. And he's an older male doctor.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah. I think probably he was waiting as long as he could wait before he brought it up. And then it just kind of came up. So he told me how much he loves Kristen as a shiksa, which is so funny. So then he goes, there's a guy across the hall. There's a podiatrist across the hall and I'm pretty close with him. I'm going to run over there and see if he's got a minute to look.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
He's like, I'd rather have him just look at it. Privilege, privilege, privilege. The guy's got... 10 minutes. I'm with my mom, too. I brought my mom with me and I brought her in the room with me, which was really fun and made me feel like I was a little kid again.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I should have. And then we should have gone to McDonald's and got an ice cream cone afterwards because I was a good, strong boy who was not afraid of shots. And so I said to her when I was leaving, I said, hey, you want to go to the doctor with me and pretend that I'm eight again? And she goes, yeah, I'd love to. So we went to breakfast first and then we went to the doctor.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So then we go across the hall and go to the podiatrist and he starts looking and he stops and he goes, I gotta tell you. That your wife is back to back within 10 minutes. Both of them very older doctors. And I was like, this show is magic.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
It's magic. How is this guy? And then I'm seeing young kids in New York. It's fair. I've not seen a show that's hit everyone. That's that wide. And dad's. Dads is the weird bullseye because the aforementioned guest, Easter Egg, whose kids called. Yes. He too. He had seen it and his kids had it. That's neither here nor there.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I have seen the movie with my daughter and I went and saw her live. And so my conclusion, I think there's three things. One is she isn't Beyonce. Beyonce is this creature that fell out of the sky and she looks like that and she dances like that. And most people can't ever imagine themselves being that. So there's this kind of, wow. So how did she get there?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
No, no, no. I thought. He knows her and I got squeezed in and I'm only benefiting from the notion that this gentleman just loved my wife.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Do you remember Chaney? Yeah. And you're like, you're trying to find... Christian Bale in there. Is that is he in there? Jude pulls that off in this. He's it's such a kind of departure from what we've seen. And it's really a great movie. It's called The Order and it is out December 6th. OK, so it's a good bit of lead time. Put that in your calendar now.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
What if he goes, what if he looked at my toe and he goes, I can't believe she's with you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That would be hysterical. No, you know, it's funny. And I'm going to credit my good friend, Kevin Zegers. Kevin Zegers, if you don't know who he is, he's a great actor. He's a good friend of mine and I absolutely love him. And he's got this incredible, he's on a new tale or Sheridan show. And he's a fucking like Marlboro man cowboy. He looks incredible. Keep seeing pictures of him.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
He texted me like three weeks into the nobody wants this phenomenon. And he said, I'm so grateful things are going good with your career right now because otherwise you'd be suicidal.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And I was like, That's, you know, that's probably true. So to answer your question, I'm not above that feeling bad, but I feel my self-esteem is very good currently.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And as we know, it's very fluid. Sure. And on another day, I might feel bad, but I felt just fine about it. And I'm trying to live by what I keep telling the kids, which is... Hey, we're a team. When one of us shines, the whole team shines. We go to a party and Delta's the big hit because she's dancing. That's the Shepherds.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I feel like, you know what? This thing, it's a team. And if she's, everyone loves her, the team, that's great for the team.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Oh, like if I was in there for anal warts. Again, no shame. People get anal warts. It's not their fault.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
But if I was on all fours and my butt cheeks were spread and he's looking at this outgrowth.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Oh, my God. I was watching a show. I spilled my popcorn. I was laughing so hard at whatever part.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That's fair. I wasn't too humiliated by this. Okay. So great distinction. Yeah. If I was in there for erectile dysfunction, again, no shade. It happens to tons of men. But these things that would be hard for me to go in and talk about. Sure. I might want to be anonymous.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
He looked at the toe. He goes, not melanoma. Right away, boom, not melanoma.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Also, what's your wife doing right now? And I'll say this is a bit of a PSA. And this is not a, I'm not saying it can't happen another way, but what they did tell me was when it's melanoma, if you have melanoma under your toenail, you'll generally see it'll start kind of growing into your cuticle. Now we've got a different thing. You'll be able to see some of the darkness in your cuticle probably.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Also, so then he got after that nail. He got a pair of little sharp pliers and he just started going. No shot of numbing agent.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
We're talking about the show and what's good about the show.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Well, she got there through her gumption and hard work and her skills as a writer and her dedication. I could do that. I could be a star. That's, I think, a big part of the appeal. And then she might be the only person. true matriarchy that we can observe, that a little girl can observe, which is it's her fucking world. She's got the biggest tour in the world. She makes the rules.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Let me make sure I don't have any lint. Okay. Maybe I can hold it up to her camera for one second.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Okay. Look, guys, it's not great, but I got to tell you, that is an enormous improvement. No, here we go.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
He sounded just like a camera operator. Yeah. Like he's in the sweet spot of it. Total sharp razor focus. Okay. Okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Because you've seen it in a lot of iterations now. Uh-huh. You've seen the enormous like thick. Oh, oh, oh. Here's a brag. Okay. Do you know what the doctor had by his side? Like the closest instrument he had. What? The toe doctor. A Dremel.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Exactly what I've been using. Yeah. I felt very vindicated by that. Well, I don't know. There's not a lot of ways to use a drummer. Go ahead. Well, did you see the photo? You should have seen. I'll show you the photo. Do you want to zoom in on that, too? Hold on. Let me get your photo.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
OK, here you go, Rob. That's what it looked like. Big improvement, right? Are you dare we shoot? No! Are you gonna? Oh my God. I think so.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So that's where I was putting the hot safety pin through. And then there's soot gathered in the holes, as you see. But see all that darkness? That's what we were worried about. What an ugly toenail. But anyways, I skipped out of that appointment. I skipped.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I don't think so. Oh, I'm going to go see him in three months.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
By the way, this is nothing, but it's funny I just said three months because he said, okay, so do you want to come back in three months or do you want to make an appointment?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Should we, you want to coordinate it with the drop of season two? I said, yes. And he goes, which one? I go, I want to call and schedule it in three months. Basically, I got this, like, I got this commitment phobia right away. I was like, I don't, I can't, I don't know what it was. I was like, I can't commit to coming back in three months right now.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Again, you know, I'm already know my issue, but I'm like, but I'm committing to call the schedule in three months. He's like, what? Just leave. Like, I don't. I don't know. Resolve is where it makes sense.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I'm going to go home and rewatch it and try to wrap my head around why you're... Wait a minute.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Well, whoever bought this for me, I don't deserve it. My toe's disgusting.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That is adorable. Okay. So there was, that's the toe update.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And I'm sorry I scared Cherries. Yeah. I'm melanoma free. I went to New York last weekend and was a part of the New Yorker Festival. Wow.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
It was really cool. Not just my thing, but just even being in the green room. And then Tyler, and I'm afraid to say her last name and I'm embarrassed, but it's F-O-G-G-A-T-T. She is a senior editor at The New Yorker and she's under 30.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That's a fucking woman in total charge of everything. She's like her own one woman matriarchy. And I think that's really powerful.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Ashok, we're beating around the bush. Monica didn't know what a seahorse looked like, and she's blaming her Indian heritage. And I think that's bullshit.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I was saying that... One of the smartest men in the world.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That's true, that's true. There'll be a hot pool boy at some point.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So I was talking about Tyler. She's so impressive. I ended up reading a bunch of her writing before I went and was, she interviewed me and she was so smart and wonderful and impressive. And I had so much fun and she made me cry a bunch of times and it was really, really lovely. But fuck that, because now I'm remembering the very funniest thing that happened when we were in New York.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And I have all the photographic and video evidence of this. OK, so we went to Robert Downey's play on Friday night, McNeil and Raffi. My friend Raffi is also in it. And we're sitting in the theater before the show starts. And behind us is, I don't know, four or five women. And they see Kristen. And so they start telling her that they loved her Netflix show. They don't say the title out loud.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Now there's three older women in front of us. And they just kind of detect someone's famous behind them, right? Because there's a hubbub.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So now they're really curious. I'm watching the whole, I have the best vantage point for this entire thing. So I'm watching that. And then I watched a woman pull out her phone and it's just directly in front of me. It's four feet away from me. And she, Monica and I filmed all this. It's so, I haven't been laughing so hard in so long. She wrote, her first search on Google was like romantic movies.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
So she searched romantic movies. Romantic movies. And of course, where's that going to take her? That's Harry Met Sally. And she's just, I'm watching her scroll. That's not it. That's not him. And then she refines her search. And she writes, what's on Netflix? Now all this stuff comes up and she's, and now I'm like, I'm nudging Kristen.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Like, oh my God, look at this woman's trying just like the most carpet thing. bomb search to try to figure out who you are. This is so funny. So she's scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. I've got probably nine minutes of her searching the entire internet.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
She starts whittling it down and then she realized, because it's a movie, that was her cardinal sin is she was usually including movies in her searches. Sure. Somehow by the minute nine, she gets to TV shows and I'm watching and I have the exact moment where she's scrolling and she sees nobody wants this. And then she hits it really excitedly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And then she moves to her friend and I dolly right and I get it and I see her thing. And then her friend sees and now they're really excited. Then she pulls her phone. Now this is the knockout punch of all knockout punch. And she texts her friend. Oh, my God. You're not going to believe it. We're sitting in front of Zach Shepard and Kristen Bell. We have the video. We're going to post it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
It's nothing could be funnier. Then the person she's texting writes back. It's Dak.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And we have the entire thing on video. Oh, my God, was that funny. I could not get over that. Oh, no, it's Dak. I'm in front of Zach Shepard. Oh, jeez.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I think it's just very different than the other pop stars they were given, which are largely you either hit the genetic lottery or you didn't. I think that's very special. Yeah. What thing are your kids into that you've joined them in and kind of got wrapped up in? Because for me, it's this Swift thing. Like, I went, I get it, I'm in. Well, my two little ones, Bluey. Bluey. I'm hearing that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I think it started with... And this came up in yesterday's episode. You know, there's going to be a few that they're going to single out of episodes we've had. My mom being one of them. I end up having to explain how special my mom is to me and how she's the foundation of why I'm curious and She's so empathetic.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And I mean, next level empathy where it's like even the bad guy deserves some compassion. Even that kid who killed another kid in a drunk driving accident. What's happening with his family? That spirit of hers. But of course, in trying to describe my mom out loud on a microphone, which I don't do often, I couldn't get through it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
And then I'm trying to tell about the episode, which I can barely kind of... get through. And, um, and then she's reading some stuff, some reactions to things that were, you know, I was just, I was a mess. The first third of it, I was still funny. I hope I think people were laughing enough, but yeah, I got, I got, uh, pretty emotional.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
What I was thinking when I left was I was like, a, that of course I just immediately get insecure. Like, God, that's so self-indulgent to be like crying on a stage. You don't make time to sit down and go over your life. You would never like sit there and then just reflect on your life. But then in an interview like that, it's kind of this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
I mean, I don't know why I'm saying this is what we do for a living.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah. It was really, really fun. And she's incredible. We should interview her at some point.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah. It would be too blanket of a single explanation of why older people drink more.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
But I do wonder, and I think a lot of people are like, I'll retire. It's going to be great. Life's going to be a blast. No work. And I get there and I'm like, oh, that's a little boring. I don't really know what the fuck to do. Why doesn't this feel the way I was anticipating for the last 40 years of my labor? And then, well, let's get drunk.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Do you, I wonder if your hangovers get, they must, it seems like they would get worse and worse and worse. Cause mine just got worse and worse. And as I hear from everyone, as they age, they get worse.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
They wake up at three 30 in the morning. They're having lunch at 10 AM.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Yeah, I saw millions of people. It's a very concerning. It's a healthy chunk of people.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Tell me what happens in Bluey. That came right after my kids left that space. Nine and 11. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Everyone should just watch more Frontline in general. It's so good.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Which is dicey because we also told people to watch Chimp Crazy and then we were a little late on our explanation. What?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
But you're the second adult I've heard say they love Bluey.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Also, he has a new series coming out on 12-3. He has a very busy December. He has Skeleton Crew is in the Star Wars universe on Disney Plus. Busy B. A lot of blessings he's giving us. Please enjoy Jude Law.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
That's me. Okay, so if England is like the U.S. in smacking down earnestness, you start acting at 14? Kind of. Because people ask me, like, did you know? I'm like, I stayed so far away from that drama department. I didn't want to get beat up by six guys.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Okay, hold on a second. Were you, we've had this in the past.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
The way you said that was like, it's okay, you're safe, kid. I feel like the appetizer just arrived and it smells delicious. We've had some heartthrobs on that didn't necessarily identify with that when they were younger. And that's a very fascinating thing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Jude Law
Also, when I was young and older girls like me, those older boys wanted to fuck Kill me. Older girls fancying this weird little kid. They don't get that. What's funny is what they like about you is that you're kind of artsy. So the solution to the other boys their age is like, I'm going to beat the shit out of them. Show the opposite quality that she just told me she likes. That's right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
But I read there was an op-ed in the L.A. Times. And let me start by saying I do respect everyone's opinion and they're all allowed to have their own opinion. But I just in my bones vehemently so disagreed with this because it said the Grammys were trying to give credit credit to the firefighters and ended up using everyone involved in the fire as pawns, basically.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
And I sat there and I thought, was that true? Let me think about it. Let me read a little bit of this. And after reading it, I thought, what is the alternative? That they don't mention the L.A. fires at all and that they don't raid $7 million? Or let me give you an even crueler alternative.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
that they have a charity event with no Grammy artists, no celebrities whatsoever, that nobody watches, and then $100 is raised. And I'm like so clearly going to choose the utilitarian outcome there. But it did make me think that about how saccharine it can become, and you don't want anyone to feel like they're used as pawns, but there is no alternative.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
And I, for one, liked seeing how much they were saying thank you for seeing our area. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
You know, everyone here, particularly the Grammys, because musicians are known to have things like band aid. You know, all the we are the world like the they're known to band together and raise money for causes with their art way more than actors are.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
I said don't invite any actors. Just invite firefighters. It didn't. That'd be a hot room.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
I'm going to push back a tiny bit on virtue signaling. I also don't like it. I also have a lot of experience in the philanthropy space, which I've been in since I've been 25 years old. And let me start by saying, never is there bigger egos than in the philanthropy space. For sure. But as we've learned... Cricks?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
They're here to stay. There's nothing we can do.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
As we've learned that emotions are contagious, which is proven, and we are chimps and we watch our alphas, dare I say without virtue signaling, kindness, compassion, empathy, giving, generosity might not travel at the speed it travels Unless people talk about it. And there's obviously a fine line because you want to do it with humility. And it needs to be genuine. It needs to be genuine.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
I have needed a lot of your guidance over the years and yours, Monica, because I'm so like just ready to wear my heart on my sleeve and be like and just believe any story without a second thought. And I've needed both of you to talk me off a ledge a couple of times of like, does this really seem like the best use of your time or use of your money? Yeah, I'm grateful.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
Right, right, right. Think about the impact.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
You know, there's missing a very, very key component of participation. And feeling linked to... The solution. The solution.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
So if somebody in the middle of Minnesota can donate $10, that might... This is what my aunt calls it to my mom. You actually steal her blessings if you're not allowing her to do that or him. You need to let people participate. You need to let people participate and be a part of the solution. And it's actually... Self-esteem comes from esteemable acts. Track your story.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
No, no, we do. You're a very valuable member of this household.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
I'm going to need an electric motorcycle ride.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Chelsea Handler Returns Again
Delta and I are both on the verge of tears the whole time. Sounds scary. And the cortisol jolts are so strong. Although I did, I did enjoy it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
At that age, when you walk in, you're brand new and you're obsessed with the thing. It wouldn't have happened. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Kind of sim. But I did a play, also a Martin McDonough play, The Pillow Man. One of my favorite plays. I loved it so much. Me and these two other girls kind of played these ghost type characters. The ones that are in the terrifying part. Yes. She had this whole vision of us. And she was like, whoever books these parts is going to have to shave their head. Oh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
And I was like, sure, I'll say that, but I'm not really going to do it. And then I booked it and me and this other girl were like, we're not shaving our head. We had this huge conversation with the director and she was so pissed, obviously. But I was like, I mean... College. This is for one play here? Those parts don't require it. It was her vision.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It was, but I also was like, am I going to be able to do this as an actor? I'm not even willing to do this. Yeah. We ended up doing bald caps and hats. Oh boy, I bet they look great.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Again, if it's really good, it's the difference when we do this show in person, the people in it. If somebody was a live show versus if they are watching it on YouTube or when we did Zoom interviews, that was still great. But the electricity that's happening between people, you can't feel. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I'm in it for like six episodes. Yeah. The premise of the show is he's telling his kids about how he met their mother. And he goes back in time at the beginning of his story to tell it. So you don't know throughout the whole series who the mother is. And new people are coming in and out, new girlfriends. And it's like, oh, it's probably Robin, the best friend. And then turns out it's not.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I'm glad you didn't know because that is stressful because I bet, I mean, you'll tell us, people had strong reactions to that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, because people are like, what? We don't even know her.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It can also be a help because if they're that good.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, you can sometimes get carried into their bubble.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
When we talk about missing The Sopranos, I mean, that's probably what you really missed. Being able to be like, wow, I'm really doing it because you're so nervous. I'm with one of the best directors to ever live. Yes.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
We had a armchair listener write in and tell us about his experience. He fell in love with this dolphin at an aquarium.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, but he was like, it was real. I knew this dolphin. It knew me. We had a real connection. He didn't seem crazy. I really believed him. I can get behind that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
No. No, I'm really asking. I'm starting to really take on that theory. Yeah. We've known some of us. I do believe that. I think it's real. You don't. It's okay. You don't have to.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It's not necessarily lovers. It's like the dog where you're just like, this is not the first time.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
They also kind of did. They lived in their mom that lived in the grandma. It's very cool. It's cool. There's some spiritual stuff going on.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
But that's the gamble. That's the fun of it. That's the ride. I think one time we went on Postmates and went to Erewhon and was creating the most expensive smoothie we could. We didn't order it, but we just wanted to see what could you get to because there's all these add-ons you can do. And I think we got to like $43. Yeah, sounds about right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yes, you can completely do that. Yours is so spot on. You're like a triple cap. What are you? A Virgo, and I'm double Virgos.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Oh, no, were you in your cape while you had your shaved head?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
The first time you saw him in the suit, the penguin character.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Hearing that description of Batman, which I think is right, I'm really surprised you aren't more into Batman.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I mean, you're the one everyone has been talking about since the show came out. I mean, even though he's him, everyone's talking about your performance. That's very kind.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I mean, I guess we're circling back to that. Oz was probably your dog.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Are you talking about the play that you auditioned for?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, like no wonder. I have to say, I'm impressed that you went in for Wicked at this stage in your career, knowing this. It's going to be hard for me because I think so many actors and actresses, once they hit a certain level, are not like, you got to. They're like, I can't and I don't want to embarrass myself. And now the stakes are like high. Things are going well.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Back then when it was happening, when you were in all these things, but you weren't necessarily on the cover of all these things. Sure. Did you have resentment then? Were you like, why am I not? I'm in all these things. I'm working all the time.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Exactly. And I've been observing. He's been in everything and been great in everything. And now people are really starting to say his name.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Thank you. We're happy for that little girl. Yeah, I am too.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Now, the irony, because you do have a ton of status, everyone would be like...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I'm sad about that. It was the right decision, I will say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do really want to see it, but I'll just see it in the movie theater.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, we don't want to give it away, but we have a guest coming up that we are –
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Whatever. Okay. We're so excited about. Slash scared. And has been a long time coming and is a scaly one.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. Um, but I had to miss it because of, of work. Yeah. It's just a busy week. We're heading into the summer.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
There are days. So yesterday I was going to edit two. Uh-huh. And I was in one and I started at 130 and I ended at six. And I was like, oh, I actually like I can't do it. I can't do another one. And I don't think if you haven't edited, you don't understand that. It's like, well, you could have. You could have pushed yourself and you could have. But your brain will shut down.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. I don't I don't have that because there is no there's no end. Right. Like you're editing a project that's.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
There's an end in sight. So I could I could almost see that being in some ways worse because it's like I just I got to be done with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
But I am, it is funny that you brought that up and we're talking about it because I'm also, as I warned you on the last fact check, I think I am PMSing this week.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, but along with the Ziploc baggies. You got to have them. No, I don't want to be on the record saying I don't do that because I don't need it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I understand that. I've heard that as an explanation for why you should use the cup.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Okay. Listen, part of that's because then you feel better after. Like you feel lighter. That doesn't happen on a period. It's not like you had a heavy flow and now you feel better. But I will say, so thank you for bringing this up. I do struggle mentally sometimes with,
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
a light flow like I'm like oh my I'm done like this is a sign of perimenopause like I'm definitely in perimenopause I'm probably like about to hit menopause the eggs are out now the blood's out exactly and we're done now like we're heading towards no period but that's my hypochondriacal inclination and I don't want that
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It's a little more rural there, I would say. Marietta too. That's more suburban like where I grew up.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Last night, I thought maybe I had also a new disease.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Because my foot, sometimes my foot has like, Kind of this numb, like this side of my foot here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
The inside. Where your step is. Sometimes has a numbness or like a weird tingly feeling. A weird feeling.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. So yesterday I was starting to slip into, oh, I think it's... And you started Googling. I didn't Google.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
And then I, but then I immediately thought if I think it, I'll get it. So I can't think it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
But then that's, you know, that's its own thing. So I put socks on and I ignored it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It's a wow. I'm happy. shook a little bit. Yeah. It is a real indicator of age.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
What? It hurt my shoulder. Yeah, that's not good for volleyball.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Okay, I have a question about slippers. Now, your house is tricky because even though you hate to admit it, it's large and made of tons of houses, actually. Okay. So you have to walk outside to get to your gym or to whatever.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yes. The studio. The studio, exactly. So for me, if a slipper touches the outside, it's thrown in the garbage.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It's a house slipper. It is meant for inside the house, specifically so that you aren't dragging in stuff.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Because it's like the white Christmas lights. It is.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Who are we? Yeah, why do you need to fucking take your shoes off the shoes?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, I think you're going to need some sort of cute phrase.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
If we hadn't had this pre-talk, I would have laughed. At you. I know. Who are you? Yeah. Well, and then for me, that triggers my own stuff.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Whoa. But no, he doesn't drive it down Los Feliz Boulevard. Yeah, that's what I was going to say.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Just like, oh, he has this extra house now. So white. And he's extra white in the South. And he's hoity-toity in the South. All the people that made me feel brown. Yes. Now he's like. He's one of them. One of them. And I thought I knew him, but I don't even know him anymore. And then I would cry.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
No, but not really. It depends on who it is. Like if I go to a random house and they say shoes off, I don't think that. I'm not like, oh, hoity-toity. I don't have that. I'm like, oh, they just don't want dirt. But with you, because I've been around you so many times where you wear shoes in your bed, okay? So the fact that— Don't say that, please. Well, I've seen it. That I would be like— What?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
See, even this, you're even getting self-conscious about this. And it's getting defensive. And you used to not care at all.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
With you, I want you to wear slippers outside because it's keeping you still kind of dirty.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I guess that's true. I think it's a little different with religions because there are like rules and stuff that being famous, which is just, you're still a person.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, that you just make, not you, the royal you, but you. You're calling yourself out for this, I guess.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
that anything a little different is associated with being a different type of, a different ethnicity is bad.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Okay, but how come if my dad is eating toast out of a cereal bowl, you're not saying, oh, it's because he's an engineer.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I think what I would love is, let me coach you, okay? First of all, let's never say, is that an Indian thing?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I don't want you to say it to him. If I overheard that, you'd get this. I'd be in trouble. I know.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It's about the very specific phrasing. I guess you could say... First of all, my dad doesn't care about anything. So, yes, you could say whatever the fuck you wanted to him. Yeah, he's not precious about... Anything to maybe detriment. But I think... If you were going to say it in a way that I would feel comfortable.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Did you grow up eating your toast in a cereal bowl? I've never seen that before.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It bums me out. Maybe because I'm in my luteal phase.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Okay, hold on. It's inane to you. It's not inane to me who's been othered by that my whole life.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
We can't use him. He is not a good measure. He's not a good man. He's too good of a man. He's too good, really. Now, how about this? If I was at your house and you...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
ate your steak with your hand like a potato chip yeah exactly no like more like a hamburger like you picked up the steak with two hands and bit into and ate it yeah and I'd be like whoa I've never seen that um is that something that happens in trailer parks well first of all I don't mind that question okay what if I asked Aaron yeah he won't mind either You would mind if I saw Aaron do something.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Oh, if you said that to Aaron. And I said, oh, is that like a trailer park thing?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Because you know people who were judged for living in trailer parks. I don't.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I wouldn't feel comfortable with you being that open with Pari. Like, is that an Indian thing? We don't know him well enough. I don't know his whole relationship to being Indian. Obviously, he likes talking about it and he's comfortable with it. He's comfortable with it. But these things are complicated.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It should be the person who's experienced it that gets to dictate it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
No. But wouldn't you be like, what the fuck is she doing? You would. And you should. Me knowing your background, knowing his background, knowing that those things have been used against him, it would be so insensitive for me to be like, hey, is that a trailer park thing? Just because I don't understand it. And that's the different thing about us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
If you're curious, you can ask it in a way that's not implying that it's something so, like if I saw him eat a steak with two hands, maybe I'd be like- Actually, I mean, I know me. I would just be like, well, that's how he eats it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
When you do grow up as a minority, everything's different. So you don't have the luxury of being like, oh, that must be different because of this or that might be. It's like, yeah, it's all different.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
But the difference is that's correct. Uh-huh. The toast out of the bowl and the eating the steak with two hands are not because of what you're.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Well, I do know that that's not an Indian tradition.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. And neither is eating steak with two hands. But the whole point is like, wait, because what you're bringing up is something that you really don't under. You're like, oh, that's new. Seeing a bong in basically a frat house isn't new.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Listen, I think if you came into my parents' house and they had a picture of Krishna on the wall, I think you could probably and definitely deduce that that's because they're Indian.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I don't think you can see like a bouncy ball in water on the counter and say, oh, that must be Indian too.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
They do. But for the most part, we know those already. Like, we've been taught those and told those already. So, like, yes, if my mom is making curry, yeah, you could say to yourself, like, it would be reasonable to think, yeah, that's because she's Indian and she grew up eating curry and that's an Indian dish. All of that makes sense. And those are stereotypes, so that's tricky, but it's real.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
That's normal. I'm fine with that. I'm just not fine with arbitrary, that's different, so it must be because of.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yes. So I think that's the right train of thought. You see it and you assume that it's actually individual to the person.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yes. And then over time, you see a pattern. Then over time, you're like, oh, this is cultural. But that's the correct order, not the other way around.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Well, look, here's an interesting. So a lot of Indians do, they eat with their hands.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, depending. Sometimes there's naan. But sometimes not. Like they're eating with their hands. That's a very common way to eat in India. My grandparents did that. That's how they ate.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yes. And my dad. Two, although I haven't seen that in years.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I mean, I was so little. There's no way for me to know that. So anyway, I guess I would hope that you would have seen it a couple times before you assumed it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
But this is an interesting one because it's true. You know, it's real. That's a cultural difference.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I think approaching it with like true curiosity that doesn't have any judgment or otherness around it. Like I do think phrasing it as did you grow up eating toast in a bowl?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Well, hopefully you just keep your mouth shut until the second part of your brain has done the other thing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
The initial thought. We can't control the initial thought. That's all I'm trying to cop to. I have no, I have no, there's nothing we can do about our initial thoughts.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. That's all that's being asked in any of these like racism or stereotypes or any of these things. Like you can't help your initial thought. You have it. And then you think, is that right?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
And that's how you get to having, I think, those thoughts less over time.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
We can because there's trust. Yeah. And I think hopefully it's good for people to hear because it's hard to find someone you trust to talk about race with because there's a lot of explosive.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, but also if she was talking to certain people, I mean, the way Joy talks about it, with you there's like fun and it's funny and stuff, but she can get very serious about race.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Exactly, and she is not going to be afraid to say it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
She did, but she's also lived a life. She went to an Ivy league school. She lived a life where she was around. She did a ball. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. I don't think you can be a minority in this country and not have some level of like,
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
So many things. Yeah. Yes, I agree. Okay. But real quick. Yeah. Speaking of cultures. Yeah. Callie, Max, and I went to Dantana's, which is a rest, an institutional restaurant in Los Angeles.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
No, because it's an Italian place. I'm getting pasta.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Oh, that's, yeah, that's right. That was, I thought that was at Musso and Frank's.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I didn't notice, but at some point in the night, a group came in that was dressed like to the nines looking mob, kind of mob bossy. And then our server, who obviously had been sort of like a lifetime server there, he was giving us the intel that they come at like... Nine or between nine and 10 every night. And they order the same thing and they get fettuccine for the table. I love it. I know.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It was so fun. And one bad thing happened. He'll probably be mad at me for sharing this because it was a blunder.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, that guy, Max. He's kind of like you, I think, in a, I'm worried things are going to run out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
And he was like, this is not enough. Wasn't enough. This is not enough Caesar.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
And Callie and I got individual Caesars as our starters. So they bring our starters. And I look at this and I think Max is getting two of these.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It was huge. And then he had trapped himself because he was like, that wasn't the size of it last time. And the Caesar that arrived was so... It was like a large pizza. It was enormous. It piled up so high. Oh, no. And he couldn't really wait for his... Like, he was, like, too hungry. So we had some of mine and some of Callie's before his enormous Caesar arrived.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
He did. Because then he was like, I have to eat it. Like, I made this crazy mistake. Yeah. And it looks crazy if I don't. Like, the people are going to be pissed if I don't.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Then our server came because he said, is this the size it was? And he said, yeah, that's always been the size. Yeah, the guy in the back was like, two?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Anyway, he ate. Pretty much all of it. He had to leave a little bit. But when you factor in the fact that he had some of mine and Callie's, he had more than two Caesars.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It feels selfish. It's like you like this thing so much that you don't care that this is bothering the entire city with your noise.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I need to be better at not like I want to go back tonight.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
And then I want to go back in five more days. Like I've been doing that with Sunset Tower. I've been going a little like a lot.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
And I ordered, I order an interesting martini. I order one with a lemon twist and an orange twist. Unconventional. I invented it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
So when I went last time and I ordered that, he was like, oh yeah, I remember you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. And he was like, well, yeah. When were you here? Like two weeks ago? And I was like, yeah, but really it was like.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
No, he's not. He was a nice man, but no. Anywho, I guess that's it. I do have maybe an update. I haven't decided if I'm going to share it, so that's TBD. Keep listening.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Okay, facts for Kristen. It's so weird that her name's Kristen. Is it weird for you?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I don't think of her as Kristen because of the way it's spelled.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
But then when we were saying her name, I was like, oh yeah, this is a dumb story.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I know what you mean. I think the same exact thing. Thanks. I didn't realize it was even pronounced Kristen.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Parents get, like, funky when they're making spellings up.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, you know what's funny? Well, Callie has that a little bit. She always has to say Callie with a K. N and I? Uh-oh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
See, yeah. Look, it's a hard name. Yeah. I actually find it very endearing because I think it has to do with your dyslexia.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
But because you always spell it K-A-L-I and you're so close.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I can... But I always think it's funny because... You do it, and then I'll respond back with her name, kind of on purpose, spelled correctly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, like, oh, I think one day he'll see that he's been doing that wrong.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, Callie said this. And then you haven't noticed that. So I guess now the cat's out of the bag.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
He gets upset, do you think? Do you think he gets defensive?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Wow. Okay. Two sides of two different coins, I guess, because I feel like I'm being respectful by not telling you because I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Okay. What is interesting about the way people spell names is sometimes the spelling does make me like the name in a way that I didn't previously like it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
In fact, Claire being one. I really like the spelling C-L-A-R-E.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
He tells so many lies. And when I'm watching you, there's so many lies to juggle. Oh, so yours is swimming in deception. Yes. Speaking of when I asked if he's protective, Seth, the guy in you, he's so protective that he has to murder you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. I could see you like sliding down that scale a little bit. Absolutely.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I kind of want you to watch it to see if you kind of can relate.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
You know, look, we all do. We all love the story of like Robin Hood a little bit. But again, this circles back to our other fact check. In reality, no, like no. Revenge is bad and it's a poison.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
When I was home for Mother's Day, I was watching Dateline, obviously, with my parents because they just can't get enough of that. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
As much as they can consume, they will. In fact, I probably can't say this, but there was something happened. There's something happening in the family-ish. A good thing. But that my mom was like, well, you got to be careful because... people can get really crazy. And she like devised this whole plan in her head of how.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
There was a man who killed a girl, like a 18 year old or whatever, who killed another 18 year old.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
And, or maybe he was 19 or something, whatever. He killed someone and like, you know, he's up for her. He's up. to get out a lot, but the mom and the sister keep going and basically making sure he stays in jail.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
And I respect, I understand. Of course I understand. But there was a part of me, you know, and I was like, I mean, maybe it's time to let him out. And I was saying that and my mom was so disturbed by me saying that. And I was like, mom, his brain wasn't even developed. It's not developed till you're 25. And she's like, well, if you were the sister.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
And I was like, of course, of course, if I'm the sister, I want that person to rot in jail.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, like having empathy kind of ruins vigilantism.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I've been thinking about this a lot. I think this show has fundamentally made me a fully different person. I was so, I was so, yes, that person needs to rot it. Like, I would never have ever thought for a second, like, eh, maybe it's time to let that guy out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. And I think it has to do with the amount of stories we've heard and the amount of people we've gotten to talk to. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder who I'd be without it. I didn't know my mom and brother. We were at dinner and I was doing this about somebody or something. And they were like, oh, you always see the best in people. Like they were saying it kind of annoyed. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. Or just like we know you want to look at that perspective.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
But this is what we want to talk about. The bad thing. And I.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Like, I don't think people are bad. I think you've become, you become based on experience and things you can't control.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Um, so yeah, it's hard. It's hard. Yeah. It's hard after you know that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
In South Jersey and Philadelphia folklore in the U.S., the Jersey Devil, also known as the Leeds Devil, a legendary creature or cryptid said to inhabit the forests of the Pine Barrens in South Jersey. The creature is often described as flying biped.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah, bat-like wings, it says. Yeah. The origin of the legend. Though a woman named Leeds was giving birth to her 13th child and exclaimed, let the child be the devil. The child, though born normally, immediately grew wings, tail, and claws and flew out of the Pine Barrens.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. How much is a pedicab ride in New York-ish? Through Times Square, a short ride within Times Square might cost $15 to $30, while a more extensive tour could range from $40 to $150 per person. It's kind of steep.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Record for how long someone was in a Broadway show? The record for the longest time spent by an actor in a single Broadway show is held by George Lee Andrews, who performed the Phantom of the Opera for 23 years.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
From 1987 to 2011. Whoa. He performed a total of 9,382 performances. Oh, my God. During his tenure, he played multiple roles, including ensemble members and the roles of Monsieur Fermin and Monsieur André.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. And do you think it's one of those things when you've done something so much that if like he forgets a line in his 7,000th performance, he's probably so afraid of dementia. Oh. He's like, how could I? I've been doing this 7,000.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I don't think that's what he's addicted to. I think he's addicted to cheddar. They don't make much money. But that reminds me, sometimes I forget the gate code to your house. And I think every time I forget, I think like, oh, I'm ill. Like something's wrong. How could I possibly forget this thing I do every day? I then have to look it up.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Which is the goal is to be doing all these other things.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
But not to a scary, hopefully not to a scary level.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It's more weather based. Yeah. OK, this vault, this Warner Brothers situation where there are shows that are gone. Yeah. Is true. And yeah, you can't watch Westworld. I looked on Max today. You can't find it's not there. You can like go to Amazon Prime and buy it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I know. Also, now it's HBO Max again. Did you hear this?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Exactly. Yeah. I think. Well, I heard it was just some guy's idea who had power and then they did it. And then obviously it never worked. Like people wouldn't say it right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. People would say it's. And so it's HBO Max again. And if we have to re-download that shit, I'm going to be pissed. But.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
You want to stick with your most prestigious name. I know. Home box office.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Well, they didn't want it to just be HBO, obviously, because there's more there.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
They are having fun with it, though. They have like obviously some like Gen Z person running their social media because they're like putting funny.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I know. Okay, I was going to play just a teeny, teeny clip of her on 30 Rock. She mentions a character she plays that's like wild.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Mine are so hard. Mine are different sizes. Okay, that's all I'll play. But yeah, she's a very silly. That 30 Rock is such a fucking good show.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Okay, I found this weird thing. She said, what's it called when you feel forever 27? Mm-hmm. That has a name. So then I looked it up, and it said, Yeah. Yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Amy Winehouse, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix. Well, we know that Belushi and Chris Farley made it to 33, the age of Jesus.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yeah. Okay. We did talk about astrology, so I did real quick want to just real quick do today's astrology. Postar is the app I use. Let's see what it says today.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Oh, one hour ago. You don't have high standards. You just want someone who, Capricorn, will discreetly tell you if you have food stuck in your teeth.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
No, I'll be embarrassed. I do want it. You'd rather have food stuck in your teeth? No, I don't. I want it, but I don't want it either.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
You don't. You don't have high standards. You just want someone who, me, Virgo, reliably uses the correct there, there, there.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
You don't have high standards. You just want someone who shares the passwords to all their streaming accounts.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I think people tell me I'm more of a Cancer than a Gemini because I'm running the edge.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Okay. You don't have high standards. You just want someone who can listen without sharing a tangentially related story.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
I don't know many people like that. Kristen's a cancer. And my mom.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
But she wants... No. So this is saying she wants... To be able to tell you a story and you not go on a tangent. Yeah. With your own story. Basically everything we do here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Yes. I think this is really, really sweet and so cute.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Hold on. The butt one? I bet we're going to get some moms.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
It makes me so sad about it. And I want our listeners to really think about this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
No, no, our adult listeners. When I see that, I know me as a middle schooler. Everyone's just trying to survive middle school and make it through without getting shoved in a locker.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
That I know, and this is so regrettable and sad, that if this sweet, sweet child walked in, I would turn. I can't be friends. Oh, absolutely. I'm saying that with heartbreak. No, and I know that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Cristin Milioti
Just keep it, like, make sure you ask your kids permission, actually.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Why don't we start out with something with the three of us? We're going to hit you with one of the hot Christmas classics.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy! O tidings of comfort and joy! Oh my God. That's a slog.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And who were you in the last five years with? Jeremy Jordan. What's happening?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You know that Lincoln's like... Oh, oh, oh, oh. She's obsessed. She can't even say his name without being like, Jeremy Jordan. Oh, I see. She loves him so much. She has for Jeremy Jordan t-shirts for Christmas. Are there such t-shirts? No, but I just got one on Amazon that said Jeremy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I did. Yeah, I did. I did. I did end up coming home. In my mind, I'm still there. I talked to them on FaceTime and both Dax and the girls are like, you look different. You look different.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
He rides it like a Brazilian strip. Oh, yeah, you're smart. Oh, this is great.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
No, then it just gets awkward, right? When you stand up and then if it doesn't, tell me if you have this. If you stand and you go like, oh, I'm going to need to stand and you don't.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Money, there's a sparkly hat. No, wait. You have a special one, too. What? You don't have to switch. So there's right next to you, Daddy, is a bunch of different hats. There's a sparkly version. I also got you some antler ones if you wanted. That one I got for you, Money. Oh, I had fun.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And when we're together, it's my favorite time of year. Beautiful.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
He's crying. Did you bring anything special?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Right before this, Gabe was mentioning the Emily Burger sauce and you said you had one more thing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Emily Goliath's cabaret show. That's how it's pronounced.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
We tracked on down. We shot the season finale, the series finale of The Good Place in Greece and in Paris in And when I was in Paris, I went to the flea market there and I was looking around and I loved it so much. And I saw this white terracotta chandelier that's kind of like it's huge. And it's like there's all these little like white terracotta birds all over it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
But it's very it's kind of minimalist. It's very chic. Just trust me. And I said, how much is that? And he said, and I was like, OK, thanks so much. It was way too expensive. And then I left. But I came home talking about it. I was like, oh, Monica, I got to talk to you about decor. I saw the chandelier and I loved it so much. 10 months go by. I mean, like a very, very long time.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Maybe even a year over. And Monica had the realization that she could track down someone who lived in Paris that I had known who could go back and see if it was still there. The masseuse you guys are both in love with?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
That's not a bit. There is a great masseuse in Paris. Laurent. I mean, half of it is just like hair play, but it is out of this world.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
No, we went to dinner. That's not normally on the docket. It's not one of the services he offers. But then Monica tracked down this chandelier from our beautiful friend Tibor, and they gave it to me for my 40th birthday, and now it hangs above my bathtub. It's so beautiful. It's so beautiful. I'm gonna. It's a really special chandelier.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
This one's a song that everyone's gonna know, but Gabe and I like this particular version, which is Mel Torme and Judy Garland, which we're gonna do it with them in mind, because it's very clear during this recording that they are sauced.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
They did it on purpose? They did. We had a field day with that growing up. We were all learning to drive. Like, where are you going to drive to? Big Beaver 69.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yeah, there's some word mangling. There's just, it's just.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
She really did. Did she? Yeah. Oh, yeah. What was her stroke? Well, we Britney speared her. She was the first Britney speared.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
So, yeah. So we have this little one prepared in the.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
How'd you do that? If you hit them, they'll come. You know what we need to get? Nice. A snake.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Well, what if we brought, I got an even better idea.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
No. No, no. Do you know, have you fact checked this? Yeah, it's a real rumor. What? What if Erica brought Norbert over, their lizard? Although he, last time I heard he wasn't eating for a while and she was very nervous, yeah.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
He's on strike. Okay, so this is Garland smashed and- This is Mel and Mel Torme trying to keep it together.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire Jack Frost nipping at your nose Yuletide carols being sung by a choir And folks dressed up from head to toe Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe. make the season bright tiny tots with their eyes all aglow will find it hard to sleep tonight they know that sad
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
He's loaded lots of gifts and toys up on his sleigh And every mother's child is gonna spy To see if rainbows really know how to fly To kids from one to ninety-two. Although it's been said many times, many ways, Merry Christmas to you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
No nod to it at all. It just, that's what she wanted to sing. It came out of her mouth. No one's going to argue with it. It's Judy Garland. Wait, that didn't really happen. Yeah, yeah. We just did the track.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
For those who don't know, it's titled The Christmas Song, but that is really, that's an incredible version. That's my favorite version and I really wanted to try it with you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And I think that was live because I think Mel was playing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because a lot of those songs from way back when, they were just taken from live performances. They weren't like doing them in the studio. They were like, you can hear the live tracks on... Oh, man, that was funny. That was delish.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
On my word of the day today, it was bah humbug.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And I learned the full meaning. In the 17th century, 18th century, somewhere on the cusp, Ba essentially meant not, right? It was a sign of disagreement. And humbug meant a hoax or a befooling trick. So if you didn't like the merry season, you'd say not. This is a hoax.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Jacob's not eating, so I'm going to give him his present.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Wow! Jacob, we're looking for someone to turn the entire show over to.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You put them in the freezer overnight and take them out when they're cold and put them directly on. is when leather's cold, as it will sort of, I guess, melt, essentially, it will form to your foot.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I especially love that the sorting hat is wearing a Christmas hat. Oh my God. It's very, it's a nice touch.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I'd also like to comment on the paper because what I'm not hearing is a bunch of like crazy crunch wrap. Because this paper, there is a real, there is a hierarchy with wrapping paper. And this one has a fabric type quality to it. It almost feels like. Like a dress.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Okay. But it's delicious wrapping paper, Wobby Wob. Real high end. That must have cost you a fortune. And is that because you're the sound guy?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
For the listener, there's a wrap present inside the wrapped present. It was a wrap within a wrap.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
He's got like a little workshop at his house. The high-end wrapping store, they have a lot of wrappers. We're down to the actual gift.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
That's the tree from their bedroom? Yes. I thought you threw it out because they were both saying the needles were falling. And I was like, thank God he threw it out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
The listener, it seems to be a race, and Dax is in the lead.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And for people who don't know, Jax has been on a real kick of eating elk lately. And so in the mornings he has elk and eggs, which makes the house smell terrible, but it's actually pretty tasty. And he gets like 160 grams of protein during breakfast.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Alyssa Dax is having trouble opening the package.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I was going to ask. Yeah. 15 of 20 I read at the bottom. Oh, I love a limited edition.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
That's true. I don't know. Somehow I caught it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should old acquaintance be forgot and days of old langside? For auld lang syne We'll take a cup of kindness yet For auld lang syne And here's a hand, my trusty friend, and here's a hand of thine. We'll take a cup of kindness yet for auld lang syne. My dear, for auld lang syne. We'll take a cup of kindness yet for auld lang syne.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Yeah, Erica's a very powerful presence. She's very decisive, assertive. She's also can, she can wail. She's got such a beautiful voice. Hi, Erica.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
But I love that you love it, and that is why it was important to get it, because Charlie Brown Christmas is very important to us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
You know I love a theme and I love a holiday and that really got my motor running.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Right, and now you can watch it. It's on, what is it, on Apple Plus?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And it's the one to watch. Yeah, we watched it last night.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I like to have a theme every year. We've done Whoville and the Grinch. We've done Vintage Christmas. We've done a couple different things. Candy. This year was going to be Candy Christmas. A lot of pepperminty stuff. And then Wicked came out. And I said, psych, we're going to rip it all down, which I did. And then went for the Wicked theme and did everything pink and green. But I love a theme.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And Dax was like, just sing it alone. I was like, I cannot sing it alone. That will ruin the integrity of the arrangement. I must have Erica pop in and do the alto part.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Mm-hmm. And Erica, who knows everything about publicity and marketing, she was like, let's beta test this. And after I looked that up, I was like, yes, let's do that. And we like basically emailed, DMed a bunch of like local singers that we know, some that aren't local, some people that we know that have different jobs, but just like really, really whale.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And one of the coolest things is when we first started and now it's like probably 32. Five of us? Yeah. And about 25 or 28 come every week. And it's like, that's sort of rotating.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
He's the best. He's the absolute best. We don't know how he got there, but he's incredible and he helps us set up and it's wonderful. He bakes bread.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Well, we're eating in this choir. We're eating a lot of stuff from strangers. Everybody bakes something. We bring wine. We sit around. We harmonize together. If you don't love a pot light, look, it's not for you. One of the first times when we were at a theater, there was a security guard at the theater and halfway through the class, he starts... just riffing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And it was the most beautiful sounds we had ever, and we were like, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Sir?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And he was singing with us, and we've had a lot of drop-ins of very cool people, and it's just been very soul-fulfilling. It's lovely. It's such a cool thing you guys did. It's so casual. We just socialized. It's great.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
Well, I felt all the same things, and I'm sweating. In fact, I even put on a red tank top because I know I'm going to start flashing when we start singing, and I'm going to have to take this off. Also, let's make sure your visitor badge is still on yours. Yeah, why are you a visitor?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I'm in love with you because the reason he said he's not allowed to say it is because sometimes he's come at it too hard. Because I'd be like, yes, I agree. A lot of it is cheesy. And yes, I agree. Nobody walks. Like when you see a musical theater actor walk across the stage, they're always in like an earthquake windstorm. That's never how people walk. And I love it. I love it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
And I can agree with you. That's sometimes really silly. But then sometimes Dax will like dig in and I'll say like, uh-uh. No, that's my medium.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Holiday Spectacular 2024
I'm into it because I'm into the medium. I guess if you came hard at ballet for sleeping like that, I'd feel a little bit more like you were, you know, a little bit more critical of everyone. But I think it's just because we discuss musical theater so often because I bring it up.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
I don't know a whole lot. I know originally it started, the church that I went to was kind of in the Jesus movement and it was taking hippies and helping them function in the world type of a thing. But then that church got associated with a church up in Olympia, Washington. And that's what I call the mother church, where a lot of the very culty things came from in the way we lived life.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
So I think it's more from up there is where it all started. It's pretty small. It's not very connected with other things. There's a few churches kind of in Oregon, Washington, and then the one in Northern California. So there's really not many. There's maybe five total that are really involved. And then the church has its own school where we're all educated. We were taught by parents originally.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
None of them really had degrees or educations. They weren't teachers. Some of the classes we were self-taught. I didn't really learn science or anything like that. It was pretty basic.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
It's grown. So they always say that their church growth plan is be fruitful and multiply. They almost never let people come in from the outside, but they just have lots of kids. And then they kind of intermarry, and eventually that's going to get interesting. They send women to the other churches so that they kind of have more of a pool to choose from. Oh, nice.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
I was a student teacher at a very young time there in the school. And then when I was 15, they said, OK, time to be done. Go take your California high school proficiency examination. So I went and took it and I failed. And then I took it a while later once they offered it again after some studying and I passed. I was 16 then. And then at that point, I just taught full time in the school.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
I was never paid. It was all free. I didn't have any really education to speak of, but I was one of the teachers, which was somewhat of an esteemed position. You wanted to be a teacher. As a woman in that environment, your job is to be a wife and a mother. There's nothing else for you. You shouldn't pursue a career. No one should go to college. College is considered to almost be evil.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
Getting married is a really huge thing. You have to be recommended for marriage. You have to attain a certain level of status. And the last thing you would want is to be old and alone. The marriages were somewhat arranged. You could express interest in a person as a man if you wanted to. The men who leave the church might say no, they might say yes, they might say look at someone else.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
You also might just go to the men and say, who should I marry? And they would tell you who you should marry. As a woman, you do have the right to say no to a marriage offer, but it will probably be your last offer. Oh my God, this is wild.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
No plural marriage. It's all one-on-one and it's all of age. So they're winning there.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
Kudos. They're keeping it legal. They look really good from the outside and they do well at that. People are always very impressed. How do I get to be a part of this? This is so amazing. You guys are doing such good things. Your kids are so well-behaved.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
So my school, the one in Eureka, California, was very small. So at the time I was there, it was only maybe 40 kids in the school. So in my age group, I had five boys, very few options, unless I was to be sent to another church.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
It's a really, really simple thing to admit that you would have a crush on somebody. So you really have to kind of suppress that part of yourself. Be very careful not to be seen interacting too heavily with boys. You don't ever touch in any kind of a way or sit too close. If they think you might like somebody, it's not going to work out well for you generally. You need to leave that to the church.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
I was pretty bought in. This is my life. This is everything I know. I've got to do the right thing. Leaving the church is the ultimate worst thing you could do. And so it was really scary. I was kind of doing what they wanted me to do. The other thing that's interesting about the school day is we did school as in math language till noon. And then from noon on, we did only music.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
We recorded and produced CDs. I think Wobby Wob has some pictures. Oh, wow. I was 17 and the picture of me and that boy...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
Well, recruiting can get dicey because people aren't usually willing to give everything if they didn't grow up in that environment. There's going to be some inherent skepticism. It'd be tough. And then people will question things.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
We would go perform in front of large audiences. We would do like Christmas performances. The CD that I sent the song and the pictures, we did box fourth cantata. We did very like intricate, difficult music and got pretty good because it's literally everything we do. It's pretty insane and comical to me to listen to because it's like a whole different person.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
So how I left, I wasn't the highest status, but I was doing all right. But I was very bought in. And then one day, my dad sat my whole family down in the living room. There's seven of us kids, and I'm the oldest. And I was 19 at the time, and he said, we're leaving the church. Total shock to us. We all just started sobbing. We were devastated. It's our whole life.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
We don't even know people outside the church. So it's like the worst thing that could happen to us. And I remember he said we could stay for like another month until some performance happened with music. So we had to go back to school and my friends were crying in the grocery store, crying till they'd throw up. Like it's the worst thing that could happen.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
We went through the last little bit and we left. But the day that he told me we were leaving, I called someone who was like a mentor, a woman who is higher up as far as women can be. And she said to me, how much do you love the church? Do you love the church enough to leave your family? And I remember that I thought, yes. And I said, maybe, I don't know.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
The next day she took back her offer and said, I talked to my husband and he said, I need to stay out of it because she had mentioned maybe me coming and living with them. And she was like, nevermind, you stay with your family. And I was devastated by that. And I found out later that my dad had gone and threatened the men of the church and said, don't fuck with my family.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
I don't remember a lot of that day, but I know that he had gone to the men of the church and said, I don't believe that we're doing things biblically here. I think there's some real issues and we should make some changes. And they said, we don't care. You need to either do what we're doing or get out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
And then when we left the church, to me, it felt a lot like if you've moved to a different country that was English speaking, like, yeah, we speak the same language, but I don't really get your humor, your culture. Yeah. I don't really understand what you're saying. I was really shocked by boys just being even mildly flirtatious. It was very alarming.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
It was really scary and lonely. It was so hard. But I met friends and gradually have become the person I am now. It was a very long evolution because there's a lot of boundaries in your head that you might not even realize you have. Like the pursuing a career. I really didn't feel like I could pursue a career anymore.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
And I remember one day early in my husband and I's marriage, I said something about one day, it'd be cool to go to nursing school. And he said, you should do it. And I was like so shocked by his response because I was like, wait, I could do it. It just didn't seem possible to me. I did eventually go to college. I was 30 when I took my first ever college class.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
I had nervous shits in between every class.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
It was so scary. But I have a bachelor's degree and I'm an ER nurse. Oh, wow. It's so cool to look back. And it's a big part because I had people in my life who just supported me and wanted me to be a full person. And my husband was a huge part of that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
A kid with a lipstick. Oh, no. Did you watch The Pit? Yes, I watched The Pit. Hands down the most accurate medical show I've ever seen. There we go. The one thing they never get right is nurses are so underrepresented. We're doing everything. The docs put in the orders, we do it. Wow.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
Yes. is a pastor and he has a small church.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
We've all kind of had a hard time in different ways. They're all doing good, but it's been a struggle. Mentally, it's a lot to get through locally. Some of them were a lot younger. I was the oldest. So some of them had much shorter periods of time that they lived in the religion and they were mostly outside. So that helps a ton.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
To some degree, there's things I have expectations of people, how they're going to treat me, how they're going to act. And I think that's been most poignant in my marriage where he'll say something pretty benign and I'm like, why are you trying to attack me? Why are you coming after me? But I just expect that. So we've had to definitely work through some things.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
I'm 38 now. I was 20. Were you high school sweethearts? No, we met. Well, this kind of comes into play. I grew up in a cult.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
So I did not know him in high school. Okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
I'm from Northern California. You know, Humboldt County. I think you've talked about it, actually.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
Up where all the good weed and meth are.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
I was almost born into it. My mom got married and I was in the religion from the time I was really tiny. So it wasn't something where I joined. It was something where I was there as a child.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
It was. called Gospel Outreach. It's still around today. It's one you wouldn't have heard of. It's a lot smaller and they're pretty good at keeping themselves on the down low and not being too obvious about what's going on there. Their religious beliefs would be evangelical, Lutheran type of thing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
They believe that you are born full of sin and every day your old man, as they call it, needs to be killed so that your new man can come forth in Christ. So the way they do this is they try to break you by just beating down on you. You have meetings as children. We would have circle meetings where you'd pick a person and you just verbally attack them until they finally get to their breaking point.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cults II
And they would do weird things like make us wear signs about our shortcomings and wear those around school. Oh, my God.
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It made about $500,000 in its opening weekend here in the United States, which is by all stretches of the imagination, a hot flop. Right. So I don't think that the, I don't think we've bought into this yet, but you know, we know Robbie, we know of Robbie Williams. And when we, when I see his face, I'm like, Oh, that's, that's a singer from the UK who has done very well for himself.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? He explained it. Then when he was on, I think it was Graham Norton, he explained that the director came in and said, hey, if this play, if we, you know, we have to, I want a story device because the regular musical biography is played out, right? It's just the same. We're doing the same thing over and over again. Let's do something different.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
I want you to think of an animal. What do you want to be? And he said, lion. He said, well, I don't know about a lion, right? So he said.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
What? How was your experience out in LA? You know, we were scheduled to do an interview last week and Russell was stuck in the heat, really, in the heat of the moment, right as the fires started. It was awful. Was there a lot of panic in the air? Yeah.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
And yeah, they seem to be happening more often, or at least we get that news so quickly now that it's like, you know, cycle after cycle of kind of these things. And we have friends and family in LA and. It's brutal, eh?
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It really is. It's weird and apocalyptic. And, you know, that's just not something that's on your bingo card. Earthquakes happen all the time. Hurricanes you see coming. Tornadoes you can kind of predict. Something that happens here in the United States. But flash fire that takes out thousands of structures is really terrible. Russell, I have a question for you.
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I want to just step back for one minute on something you said. When you come to America... you're going to be on tour here. It looks like you're hitting a lot of the West Coast cities out there. When you come to the United States, what are the differences in the audience tastes? Do you have to tailor some of your comedy for, and I'm really interested to hear this answer from a British comic.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Do you feel like you have to tailor a little bit the jokes? I know you might have to take out some of the slang that you typically, you might use that's familiar to the audience over the pond. But tell me about that experience when you come here to the States.
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And I think if you had three words to describe the United States of America, it would be funny, unfair, and wild.
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I think this is happening throughout the world, this kind of tribalism. And I mean, I only live here in the United States, but to travel a lot. And I see, you know, my father-in-law who lives in Venezuela is fond of saying extremes on both sides end up in the same place.
The Commercial Break
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And and that's why you need that healthy push and pull. And I am very much what you just said. I am not all against everything that Trump says. I am not all for everything Biden says. I have my preferences. But at the end of the day, this tribalism makes people feel like they belong. And I think that's really where the story is. The story is. Is there something going on in this world?
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
He's the Robbie Williams of comedy over there in the UK. And we're so excited to have him. Feeling very grateful that he's decided to stop by the commercial break because he's British and he doesn't know. He doesn't know that the commercial break is not a place you go.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
And I think it might be the disconnection and loneliness that makes us feel like if we are on a team, if we are a Packers fan, if we are a Trump supporter, if we, you know, if we're British comedy fans, we can get on and knock the American comedy fans on Reddit because that makes us feel like we're part of something. Where did we go wrong that this type of identification?
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Makes us feel like we're someone. That's the story to me.
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Did you... I read this and I looked for it, but I don't know where it is. Did you do a series during 2020 and 2021 where you were in your childhood bedroom talking to everybody on a daily basis or a weekly basis?
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
That's right. If you're trying to get the word out. But honestly, we've been grateful to have so many wonderful guests as of late. Roy Wood Jr., Felipe Esparza, so many that we can talk about. But go check out those episodes because they are doing very well, Chrissy. I am.
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wasn't as rock and roll but you know listen it it kind of you know what it's like that's what we big realized that's when we started the show and i hope well there you go this may have saved our lives and we do hear from a lot of people uh people who i don't know i wouldn't classify them as lonely they're just human beings that are looking for connection yes and this is part of the way that they feel that connection some girls in a
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
in a factory doing whatever, making widgets or whatever she does. And there's a thousand hours of the commercial break she can listen to while she's doing that. It makes her feel better. And so I imagine, and we started this during COVID. This was more of a saving grace for us at the time because no one was listening.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
But yeah, but I imagine you were a saving grace for a lot of people also because you were some kind of real connection on the TV that was actually going through it. Have you ever seen The Morning Show on Apple TV? Have you seen this? No. So Jennifer Aniston plays a morning show. Yes, I've seen, yeah, I've heard of it.
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So there's a whole plot line where she starts doing the show from her bedroom because she has COVID.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
And when I read this about you, I was like, he's the real life morning show, Jennifer Aniston. You're, the Russell Howard hour, you're like, what, you were 200 hours into this or something?
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
On the interwebs. There you go. And who knows? Maybe we'll make a little news today with our good friend Russell Howard, currently on tour. He's going to be coming to the West Coast of the United States here very shortly. We'll put all the links in the show notes, as we always do. And his special is now out.
The Commercial Break
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I think the show is brilliant. Check it out on YouTube. Yeah, there's loads of it.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
So Russell, you in your new special, which is brilliant, by the way, thank you for providing a script. I know it's out now as this show will be released. It's out now. It's on a platform called Drift. Is that right? That's right. You can stream it.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Links in the show notes, everybody. Just go there and we'll link to the special and we'll link to the website. Also, this special is hilarious. It's brilliantly funny. It's kinetic. Your type of comedy is kinetic. It can be physical. You're really funny. You're really good at pointing out... Pointing out hypocrisy on all sides of the spectrum and then making it funny. And I really enjoyed it.
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One of the things that you said that really resonated with me, you were talking about how I think the way that my brain works, this is the only job that I could ever have. And that really struck a chord with me because you walk around life just like I do. And I'm sure Chrissy does too. We walk around life
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observing and seeing things in such a weird way that if we said those things out loud in the moment, we'd be arrested or certainly kicked out of the party. But then you get to I get to get on a microphone, you get to get up on stage and and do this. Did you were you always like this? Did you always we was comedy always a pursuit of yours?
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It sounds like my parents. Yeah, well, exactly.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Oh, we got Jeff laughing. Yes, Jeff was laughing. Then we know that we've hit on something special because Jeff doesn't laugh. He's a humorless son of a bitch. Jeff is a humorless son of a bitch.
The Commercial Break
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Loosen up, dude. Actually, Jeff's kind of like one of the loosest people I know. He's very loose.
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It's a whole brand of comedy. Some people do find it funny. Totally. Absolutely. I think there are people who do it, like you said, masterfully. It feels like at the end of the day, it's done with some level of love and not at the expense of someone else's feelings. And then sometimes it's just mean for the sake of being mean. And, you know, there's...
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
They go in there. They ring the door. They stick their hand in and they wave. They drop a package off and then they... Amazon comes in Jeff's door. That's all I got to say. That's how loosey-goosey he is. Anyway, Russell's going to be here. And yeah, I'm very excited. Me too. Speaking of UK news, it seems that...
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
I've been to small comedy clubs and it feels like if you're too close. You're in trouble. She already feels the fear, and then I feel the fear for her. And we went to a comedy club one time, and this guy, his whole shtick was pointing out people's physical appearances and then knocking them without them having said a word. Now, was it funny?
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
There were parts that were funny, but he was randomly going through the audience. And I was like, please don't pick my wife because I'm going to have to hear about it the entire car ride. Please don't pick my wife. And, you know, I think some of the...
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
That Meghan and Harry have done the right thing and they have postponed the much ballyhooed premiere of her, I don't know, cooking with Kate thing that's going on. Meghan. Meghan. I'm sorry. Cooking with Meghan.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Speaking of picking on people. I have to tell you this. This is the most interesting thing I've seen in two weeks on any website ever. Right. You, on your website, you clearly are a very popular comedian who's got accolades from all over the place, and you've done it. I mean, would you consider yourself one of the UK's most popular comics?
The Commercial Break
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Your own government set up a website that tracks the popularity of comics. Do you know about this?
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
You gov dot UK. Is that your like official government? They do. I found a website, a web page dedicated to tracking the popularity of the comics that come from the UK. Wow. It's crazy. Now, I'm sure there's only six people who voted on this. There's got to be, you know, I mean, it's like this random website.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
You are a very popular comic, by the way. You can break it down by men, women, Gen X. I'll send this link to you. You can check it out if you feel so inclined. But Johnny Vegas, you know Johnny Vegas? Yeah, I do know. Have you heard of this guy? Yeah. The guy from Benny Dorm, right? Yeah. And like the glamping show? Yeah. Yeah. He ranks so highly up there.
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And I was like, I didn't even know Johnny Vegas was like a stand-up comic.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
That's the other sister. Yeah. Cooking with Meghan.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
I don't know, but he's a really great comic, but, and well, listen, the only thing that I knew him from was right. But then I, I somehow got on down the rabbit hole and then I watched his show on glamping. I won't go too far off on this, but I watched the show on glamping where he's just like, he's trying to start this camping park, right.
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RV park or whatever, by making these things, I found him to be a very lovely, lovely human being, a complete opposite of what you see on Benny.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It was a lifestyle show, but I think you did it supposedly. Lifestyle. Lifestyle. Style.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Chrissy, we might be beloved podcasters and he might be a beloved comic, but you have never been named the UK's weirdest crush of 2013. Did you know you were named UK's weirdest crush of 2013? What is that all about?
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Uh, do you get followed by the press over there?
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Oh, listen. I'm sure that Meghan Markle is tuned right into Frank Bernardo. Bernardo. Bernardo. Even he says his name wrong.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
People can find the special now available on your website. That's right. We're going to put links in the show notes. He's doing a tour mainly of the West Coast of America, but we'll put the links there.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
People, by the way, love Frankie B. I mean, every time we do an episode, we just get so much feedback about our Frankie B episodes. And I wish that there was more to do, but I think we've done run out.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
So we have broke down a couple of these videos. So watched them here in the studio and then commented on them as we're watching them. Yeah. And our listeners are floored. Last time we did it, it was a woman with men and we just talked about penises for an hour. And I think that probably half our audience tuned out. But we have always wondered about this show.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
He's got a girlfriend, and she's not letting him anywhere near the YouTubes. But don't, fear not, if you've heard any of Frankie's relationship advice, he'll soon be back to YouTube. At 72 years old. We didn't find his social media, so that's good. But actually, I applaud Megan on this one because apparently she called it a love letter to Southern California and all things wonderful.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It's available on one of our streaming platforms here, HBO Max. Now, I'm not sure how many people watch it, but we've always wondered who's going to the grocery store the next day. I know. I mean, everybody in the entire world just saw your cock and now you're naked. Everything.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
We need a, where are they now? Yeah. after the dates. And I mean, I know they show the first date that they go on, but Naked Attraction, one of my favorite oddities currently anywhere in the world. Absolutely. Russell's special is brilliant. It is available on his website. Again, links in the show notes and his tour. And there is so much of Russell out there on YouTube.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
We'll also link to his YouTube channel and of course his social media. Russell, you are welcome back here anytime. Please come back. We are fans of yours.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
If you have the chance, then you've got our information. We would love that. And if you should come close to Atlanta and do your act, we will be sitting not in the first row, but somewhere third.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Russell, you're the best, man. Get back to that kid of yours. Thanks for coming on. We appreciate it.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Listen, I personally... I think some of the content that they're producing for Netflix is a little tone deaf in general. But, okay, whatever. I mean, there's lots of cooking shows out there. And, you know, a lot of them focus on the higher end. What's that one? The Ina Garden? In the Garden? Ina? Ina Garden? There's Ina Garden. There's Martha Stewart. There's a whole channel now.
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So fun to talk to Mr. Russell Howard. And I like how he described, he says, you Americans think that all British people are reserved and, you know, quietly funny. And then he comes on and he's reserved and quietly funny.
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Mo Gilligan, who was our other British comic friend that we made here on the commercial break, and Russell Howard. Both of them are proving that British people are, in fact, a little bit reserved and very funny and very nice.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
What's that? And very naked. Well, there you go. I think what he was trying to say is that it is as much of a sensation over there as it is over here. It's like, wow, that's crazy. But I am still looking for that person that knows that person that was on the show and what was their life like afterwards. How do you ever date someone again and not know that they know what your penis looks like?
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
When I went to the bar, at least I knew that I had my sense of humor and that they weren't going to see my penis, likely for a long time. If I go on that show, then I know it's all over. All right. Thanks to Mr. Russell Howard for coming in today. We certainly appreciate it.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
All of his stuff will be in the show notes, links to his YouTube, links to tickets to his show, links to his special, links to his website, links to his social media. We'll put it all in the show notes. Please do us a favor and go check out that special. He didn't come here for his health, Chrissy. He needs people to watch that special. Yes, he does. I think he will.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
He's going to have a lot of people watching it. Oh, I think so, too. Yes. But we want to make it a thing here in the United States. We do. Because we know the people over there are going to watch it because they love Russell Howard. People here, do they know Russell Howard? Do they know Robbie Williams? No. Is Russell Howard, in fact, a dolphin or an octopus in a sexy wig? We're not sure.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
More info to follow. Stay tuned to the commercial break. All right, here's our info. Go to tcbpodcast.com. Everything you need is right there. We got all the audio, all the video, right there from one location. If you're a browser kind of person, you can watch it on your browser. You can listen to it in your browser. If you're old school like that, feel free.
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And I have a feeling some of you are that old that you're browsing. Get your free sticker. Also, hit the Contact Us button. Drop down menu. I want my free shit. Give us your address, and we'll send you something. Promise. No must. No fuss. We won't ask for anything in return, except for a like or a follow. You could do that.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Also, Astrid is imploring me to implore you to go and check us out on YouTube.com slash The Commercial Break. Check out the new studio. Check out the new digs. Watch all of our episodes, every single one of them, now available on youtube.com slash thecommercialbreak. That includes all of our interviews. So if you want to see just how handsome Russell is compared to me, go check that out.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
You can imagine both of us on Dating Naked. A naked attraction.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Naked attraction. Dating naked is a different show. They don't actually show anything. They just tell you they're going to show something, but they don't really. I just noticed the camera keeps swaying over to one side. Are you noticing that? Our camera doing its own camera tricks. That's kind of cool. He likes to do that. There you go. All right. Add the commercial break on Instagram.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
TCB podcast on TikTok. If TikTok's still around. Yeah. I think it will be. I think, I think he just, Trump just invited the CEO to the inauguration. So I think we're all good. Yeah. 212-433-3TCB. 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, all there. Please talk to us. We want to hear from you. All right, Chrissy. I think that's all I can do for right now.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you. Best to you.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time we talk, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
No, not the cooking channel. There is a cooking channel. I know about the cooking channel. I'm saying a cooking channel, like a chef channel, a food-related channel that is dedicated to just like food porn. It's a lot of – Oh, I've heard of that. Have you heard of this one?
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
I can't remember the name of it, but I saw it in a doctor's office once, and it was – I was waiting for like a half an hour, and it was literally just shots of food with not a lot of talking. Yeah.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
in beautiful settings in France and you know I'm sure in the wine country and all this other stuff so you know I understand that there's like a there is a demand for that kind of content that people like to see their food being cooked in beautiful settings and eaten by beautiful people and all that shit but It's kind of a do or die for Meghan and Harry as far as that Netflix deal is concerned.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
So I'm super interested to see how that all plays out. Does this in fact become the hit that Meghan and Harry need? As if they need any more money. They got $150 million from Netflix. But I do think the right thing is to hold off on that given all the circumstances that are going on out in California.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
It is just terrible. We've talked a lot about it on the show. And I think partly because it's hard to believe that it's happened in a major metropolitan city has burned like this. I think partly it's because we know people that live out there and who are our own agent has been, you know, him and I have been in conversations and he lives close to one of the fires.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
And they have been getting all kinds of notifications. You're in, you're You're out, you're in, you're out, you're in, you're out. That must be a terrible way to live. And then they went out without power for four or five days, which if you've ever done is a very uncomfortable situation.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
That is like I mean, I have never been through a fire, but that has got to be one of the things that no pun intended gets seared into your psyche and that you just can't forget as a child. That's one of the that's one of the basic fears of humanity, getting eaten by some wild animal shark or getting bitten by a snake.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Those I think those things were just born with because it's a fight or flight response. Fire is one of those things. Super helpful, but very scary, right? And it can go either way. It's like it can get out of control very quickly. So our hearts go out. And Russell was supposed to be with us last week talking about his new special that came out on the 15th.
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But he's here today because he was in L.A. and had to get out very quickly to make sure that he and his family were safe. So Russell Howard is an extraordinarily –
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
popular comic out in the UK some might say the most popular comic that's working from the UK right now and he has had so many television shows on the BBC he has had he's been on for like 20 years yeah so many different iterations of Russell Howard he did a
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I guess the best, the thing that we can liken it to the best, the thing that I think he's most known for, at least from my research, because I don't live in the UK.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
I am a British expert on television, that's for sure. I love that British television. And any time someone British from the British television comes in, I do get a little fanboy-y.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Yeah, it's I don't know why I just I'm so giddy about British comedy in general. But the thing that he's probably best known for is the Russell Howard Hour, which is a television show that ran for some 200 hours over there. And it's kind of like our daily show. It's like satire about pop culture and news and politics, stuff like that. There is a ton of that on his YouTube channel.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
I will put Christina, not I, Christina will put those links. Thank you, Christina. Thank you, Christina.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
We'll put those links in the show note. Also to his tours, to tour tickets that are mainly on the West Coast. But if you're near, you should go check him out. He's going to be doing smaller venues here than he does. Or if you're in Helsinki. Oh, yeah.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
So anyway, so Russell's doing that tour here in the United States. Tickets are available. We'll put a link and then you can go to this Drift website and get access to his brand new special. Highly suggest you do because even Jeff's laughing. Even Jeff is laughing. That's right. Okay, so let's do this. Why don't we take a short break? We'll bring Russell on through telepodcasting magic.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
And then when we get back, our conversation with Mr. Howard.
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TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
We are not sure who actually put that up. There's a running gag on this show, and it's actually not really all that funny to us here in the studio, but technically we are inept. We're five years into this. We're a thousand hours worth of programming into this. You don't know how much goes wrong technically on this show. There's tape here, wires there.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
Well, next time you're in Atlanta, Georgia, you come to our house and we'll have to lift you into the studio to avoid knocking over any wires. Most importantly, since you're the only British person we're going to have on the show this week, we have to ask, who is Robbie Williams and why is he a chimpanzee? And how's this playing out in the U.K. ?
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Russell Howard
There is, I agree with you here is that like as a story device, I can understand why I'm the monkey and, you know, I play like a monkey and I sing for a monkey. You know, I can understand like there, it could be a deeper meaning behind it and it could all play out well. And apparently it's been received well by critics and the golden globes and maybe Oscar talk. I don't know.
The Journal.
The Battle Within Meta Over Chatbot Safety
I'm an actress and producer known for my roles in Veronica Mars, Frozen, and Bad Moms. I've also lent my voice to Meta AI.
The Journal.
The Battle Within Meta Over Chatbot Safety
I step closer, and our lips meet in a tender kiss. We lose ourselves in the moment, the cold palace fading away. Our hearts beat as one, our love shining brighter than the ice.
The Journal.
Medicare, Inc. Part 1: How Insurers Make Billions From Medicare
All of the things that I'd been feeling and dealing with over the past seven years were sitting there in front of me on a piece of paper, which is why I wrote to Chris and said, you are spot on. I'm Kristen Bell, and I'm from Maine. I'm a nurse practitioner, and I worked for UnitedHealthcare for seven and a half years. You have the same name as the actress. Does that ever come up?
The Journal.
Medicare, Inc. Part 1: How Insurers Make Billions From Medicare
So my patients would always be like, you're not the Kristen Bell. And I'd be like, yeah, sorry. Here I thought. Yeah, exactly. I was going to have you sign my Frozen poster or whatever.
The Journal.
Medicare, Inc. Part 1: How Insurers Make Billions From Medicare
I liked the customer service aspect of it. You know, the reason that it was good is because the people didn't have primary care provider or intermittent primary care, especially in the rural areas. The information that we were able to glean was really helpful. And I can't tell you how many times I would go over medications with people and they'd be missing something or they'd be taking it wrong.
The Journal.
Medicare, Inc. Part 1: How Insurers Make Billions From Medicare
I was trying to assess... where they needed help. So, for example, we were doing urine test strips, and that gave me a lot of information about how somebody was doing. Oh, you're dehydrated. Oh, you have kidney disease. Oh, you have glucose in your urine. I'm going to call your doctor. You know, that kind of stuff.
The Journal.
Medicare, Inc. Part 1: How Insurers Make Billions From Medicare
Well, it didn't seem so at first.
The Journal.
Medicare, Inc. Part 1: How Insurers Make Billions From Medicare
My first year, I refused to do some of the tests that they asked us to do because I was like, this patient is asymptomatic. I'm not doing this test on this patient. It's just a waste of their time. It's a waste of my time. There's nothing to be gathered from this. Then when I had my annual review, my manager was like, you know, you did a great job and your patients love you and everything.
The Journal.
Medicare, Inc. Part 1: How Insurers Make Billions From Medicare
But what you really need to work on is, you know, the testing that we're trying to deliver to the patients. And I said, look, you know, if somebody is asymptomatic. You know, you don't test somebody for everything if they come into the hospital. You test them for what they're having difficulties with. She said to me, Kristen, we're not billing for any of this. Just do the testing. Just do it.
The Journal.
Medicare, Inc. Part 1: How Insurers Make Billions From Medicare
So that's when I was like, ah, that's kind of sketchy. You know, there's something going on here.
The Journal.
Medicare, Inc. Part 1: How Insurers Make Billions From Medicare
So for example, if somebody has diabetes and I look in their eyes and I see cataracts, I would put cataracts as a diagnosis, but then they would throw it back at me and say, no, no, no, no, it's diabetes with diabetic cataracts, even though I didn't know if the diabetes caused the cataracts. Well, we know that the person has diabetes and just kind of do it.
The Journal.
Medicare, Inc. Part 1: How Insurers Make Billions From Medicare
The quanta flow is kind of like a pulse oximeter that gets put on each foot and each hand, and then they compare the hand to the feet. And what we're looking for is, is there decreased blood flow to the feet?
The Journal.
Medicare, Inc. Part 1: How Insurers Make Billions From Medicare
It was a one data point diagnosis, right? Which isn't necessarily a good way to diagnose anything. But at that split second, if the quanta flow said that the person had peripheral artery disease, at that split second, they had peripheral artery disease.