2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Is Dax Shepard Bert's New Best Friend? | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Mon, 02 Dec 2024
Don’t forget to check out Dax Shepard’s own podcast “Armchair Expert” available wherever you get your podcasts! SPONSORS: Visit https://goMuskOx.com/bears and use our code BEARS at checkout for $20 off your flannel purchase Get $20 off a Skylight Frame at https://SkylightFrame.com/BEARS Your Holiday wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code BEARS20 at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/BEARS20 #chubbiespod This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BEARS and get 10% off your first month. It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Burnt Crystals being joined by guest bear and armchair expert, Dax Shepard! Bert once again proves his improved prowess as an interviewer by providing proof he did his research for this talk. Bert and Dax talk all about Dax's podcast "Armchair Expert" and how he had made a splash in the podcast world even though he entered it kinda late in the game. They talk about podcasting during the pandemic, Kristen Bell's knack for killing people with kindness in the darkest way, sober life, best friends, soulmates, idolizing Vince Vaughn, college days, high school crushes, Burt Reynolds, and more! Check it out! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 265 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: When did Dax Shepard start his podcast?
hundred percent are we rolling so wait let's start you started your podcast in 2017 yeah yeah it'll be seven years on valentine's day before or after chips after in the wake of depression i'm dying to hear about that yeah yeah yeah i was um supremely depressed about the performance it's a good movie thank you so much let me tell you the nuances that no one gets in this goddamn movie
Please break it down for everyone. Your thumbprint of your character is Dax Shepard. I don't know if everyone catches that, but as a guy who listens to the podcast and watch that movie, you do talk.
He has to deal with too many surgeries, and he's addicted to fucking painkillers. And he talks therapy talk. He's constantly getting too emotional with everyone, and everyone's uncomfortable with it. Yes, it's very me.
And by the way, Pena is awesome. Michael Pena is awesome in that. Oh, he's outrageous. It's a great fucking. How many movies have you done with Vincent D'Onofrio?
A lot at this point. As I told him, we did this movie, The Judge, together with Robert Downey and Duvall. And I just fell in love with him. And afterwards, he called and said, hey, we're going to do this movie, a Christmas movie. And I go, great. He goes, I'll send you a script. I go, no, no, you don't have to send it to me. I'll just, whatever you do, I'll do. You want to do a KFC commercial?
I'm there. Because he's Vincent D'Onofrio. Dude. What a stud. He's a fucking... Also, you know, a lady killer. Really? Oh, my God.
I've never seen... Well, funny enough, that movie had two of the world's great lady killers, Billy Bob Thornton, which prior to meeting him and working with him, of course, I thought he was brilliant and I love Sling Blade, but you go like, wow, man, he got Angelina Jolie. This is really fascinating. Yeah.
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Chapter 2: What does Dax think about podcasting during the pandemic?
And then I was around him, and again, I'm charmed by him, but then I went out to eat with he and my wife, and he just laser-beamed my wife in the eyes with his eyes, and she just got all fucked up in a second. I was like, oh, my God, I see what's happening. That's what's going on. And then, lo and behold, D'Onofrio's got the same powers. For real? Oh, yeah. I don't have that.
So the two of them, you don't have that? No. You've been married 20 years? 20, yeah. I talk myself out of pussy. Okay. Well, you should as a married man.
No, no. You really had to be committed to fucking me if you wanted to fuck me. Because why? I'd give you every excuse not to.
Why? What was the holdup? Intimacy issues. Because you were afraid if you did that you'd be then responsible for them emotionally?
No. It's like someone who's really bad at karaoke not wanting to sing karaoke.
Yeah.
Like I just didn't.
But it wasn't that you thought you were a terrible lay or anything. Or that too. That was it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Wait, are you good at sex? That's an impossible question to answer.
I would hate any dude that said I'm fucking good at sex. Can I tell you? Yeah. I would say the majority of America thinks that that is how your relationship, like you're, I just imagine you guys were primal. Like you guys fucking just, cause first of all, you are all of us.
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Chapter 3: How did Bert feel about Dax's success?
So we're doing a podcast during the pandemic, and I was like, fuck Dax Shepard. I go, he's already got a movie career. He's already got all the fucking- Kristen Bell. Yeah, he's got Kristen Bell. Yeah, I know. He got- You fucking decide to sell a washer and dryer and it goes viral. I mean, anything you touch is gold. And I go, and now he's coming for our shit?
It's like you were the guy, in my opinion, you were the guy that graduated high school but came back and took all our chicks. And I was like, man, and he's got a smart fucking co-host. And she's a person of color. We're two white guys. So that was our take. That's very fair. Now, I have to say this. If I really didn't like Dax Shepard, you would never land on my radar. Okay.
So that's the number one thing is that I was a fan since Punk'd. I felt like you were one of us. I always felt like you weren't a Hollywood insider. I felt like you got into movies that were cult classics. So then when you got into podcasting, I was like, okay, he's fair game. He's one of us.
I understand, and I am a poser. I was late.
Not a poser.
Well, no, hold on.
Dude, by the way, fucking Smartless can get it, too. I'll tell you right now, those motherfuckers show up and take, what, like $200 million? Yeah. And they're playing on private jets, and they're not even getting shit.
Uh-huh. Friends of mine, and they launched their show on my show, so... Now, I will, I can admit, I actually wish them all the success in the world. They're three friends. But I did, I was like, I said to Monica, I'm like, man, the cumulative connections they have between the three of them, I just can't compete.
I could be on the phone all day long and just, I mean, like Paul McCartney swinging by and you're seeing these people. And yeah, I had guest envy for those guys. I guess I continued to. They got Letterman to do a live show. I was just, I'll do whatever just to get him on. I would have done Zoom, whatever. The fact that they got him to come and do a live show, I was like, what do we do?
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Chapter 4: What are the struggles of managing public perception?
And then that episode was terrible. Like it was a disaster. She didn't want to be there. She wanted to be at Michael's getting yarn. We bickered the whole time. I listened back to it and I'm like, oh my God, I'm not controlling. I really had no clue I kind of sounded like that. I'm like, this is embarrassing and humiliating. And I played it to her. I'm like, I don't think I can release this.
And she's like, no, I actually think that's the antidote to the Samsung commercials. Like if we're saying to people, don't hashtag relationship goals and think you're gonna meet your Dax or Kristen, it's gonna be easy. It's fucking a beat down and we've been in therapy. And so she's like, I think this thing is kind of like what we owe everyone as the other side of it. And then I think that...
I couldn't have expected that. That had some appeal. People were very interested in that. So I think I had this huge advantage from everyone else that I did get to immediately break through all the noise. I don't know if I just would have started with Kimmel and Ashton. I think my first three episodes were like Kristen, Kimmel, and Ashton.
God bless those two for doing my never have done a podcast.
By the way, never could have gotten those guys. And those are your first two.
I know. It's not fair.
I can acknowledge how unfair. Fuck fair. Fuck fair. That's not the thing is that you fucking – and you had great guests and you're fucking – But again, I don't know if those two – if those two come out, I don't know what those are.
Like I don't know if that's maybe 80,000 people who listened or what. But I think because the Kristen episode was very viral and I think I had two sitting there right away and then they listened to those and they were like, oh, those are not – they're not bad either. They don't have the same –
crazy fireworks going on as this other one, but I got very blessed by this union that has continued to give me way more than I deserve.
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Chapter 5: Why is it hard to accept joy compared to anxiety?
I know that you're like an OG drug dude. You're not like a fucking drinker who quit drinking. No. I know the time you dropped your bike on your leg. Oh, you did?
dude i know a lot about you in a two-day black i told you i'm a fucking fan of you first of all my best friend growing up looks identical to you ryan valerius okay so when you showed up on what version of me uh old skinny you yeah skinny yeah yeah uh basketball playing you not the fucking jacked fucking front rows with fucking 80 pound you the uh the and so when you showed up on punked i was like i was like i kind of
Like, I recognize you because my buddy looked like you. Uh-huh, right. And you were great. And I was like, fuck yeah. And then you started showing up in movies. I was like, nice. Because, I don't know, that was like, I was also at that level.
Yeah, comedians, like anytime a comedian's winning, I'm pumped.
Yeah.
It's good for, by the way, this is not going to end. We have that fucking rug. Are you serious?
we have that rug this is um this is getting trippy this uh dude if i get sober we could be friends but no but so like so like i'm like a legit fan of yours and and and but i always wondered because you do run you have to navigate circles i would never navigate like i will never have to go to a party where like where I have to change my speech. And what I love about you, and this is for real.
So you got into trouble a couple times, it's because that's who you are. I get in trouble. Yeah, and I love it. I love it because every time you've ever gotten in trouble, I was like, I don't know what the problem is here. Right, right.
Well, we could go deep on that. I think you might relate to this. It's like there comes a point where the thing that brought you to the party isn't the thing that's going to keep you at the party. And that's a very weird existential kind of battle mentally. It's like I got here because I was obnoxious and over the top and was willing to – DuPont and at risk of getting punched and I didn't mind.
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Chapter 6: What is Dax's daily routine for sobriety?
Okay, and then Tampa. Did you ever go to Sarasota? Of course. Okay, did you ever go to the Columbia restaurant?
Of course.
Okay, my uncle was the band there for my whole life.
No way.
Uncle Sal, yeah. So my vacations were to Sarasota and then watch Uncle Sal play. For real? Yeah, yeah.
So that's your accent. It's a Michigan accent.
Yeah, right. I've always tried to fucking place it. It sounds a teeny bit southern sometimes and then a teeny bit nasally.
I've listened to so much of your podcast, you round out your consonants sometimes. Okay.
A little bit of laziness maybe. I would say didn't. Didn't. You go didn't. And what do you do? Didn't. You really pronounce all those consonants.
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Chapter 7: How do fame and success affect personal relationships?
And this is so corny, and I wouldn't believe anyone else who said it, but the Armcherries are the most radical people I've ever met. Like, the people who listen to our show are by far the nicest people I've ever met in my life. I've got Idiocracy fans. I have punk fans. Like, I kind of know. Parenthood fans are really nice. But Armcherries are so fucking special.
And when they take time to write something about how the episode made them feel, I want to minimally say I saw it and heard it. And then if it's really kind of revealing, I want to take a second to respond. So it's like I do have an obligation to let them know I'm participating and I see what they're – And I have limited my, I changed my Instagram so only followers can comment now.
For years, I was in the cesspool of like everybody. And that was, it was terrible. But now that, so I'm paying some price and engagement, all these other metrics you're supposed to care about. But now pretty much most of the shit I read is nice. And so it's not, it's not bad. And I will do it because I really want those folks to know I saw what they said.
Really? You don't read any of yours? I can't. So I can't allow... I've said this before, and this is how I feel. I can't allow someone to have control of my day.
Yeah, of course.
And if it's going to control your day, then that's the totally right decision. I don't even know what it is. I don't even really know what the fuck's wrong with me. But I got the thing where... You get a repetitive bad thought and you can't just get it. Yeah, you're ruminating. I think some people call it OCD. I know I have probably versions of whatever OCD is. I don't even, I don't know.
I'm not going to therapy.
Did you have tics as a kid?
No. Oh. No. Oh, hold on.
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