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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors

Fri, 13 Dec 2024

Description

Dax and Monica talk to Armcherries! In today's episode, Armcherries tell us about a crazy neighbor.Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Audio
Transcription

0.31 - 19.696 Dax Shepard

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Rather, and I'm joined by the Duchess of Duluth.

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19.816 - 20.436 Monica Padman

Anonymous.

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20.936 - 25.678 Dax Shepard

Anonymous. Today is crazy neighbor stories.

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26.425 - 28.445 Monica Padman

We've got some nutty neighbors out there.

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28.706 - 31.126 Dax Shepard

And of course we do. Of course we do.

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31.346 - 32.046 Monica Padman

People are crazy.

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32.066 - 37.167 Dax Shepard

When you're listening to people talk about their crazy neighbor, you realize how stuck you are.

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37.348 - 39.928 Monica Padman

Yeah. It's claustrophobic.

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40.128 - 50.78 Dax Shepard

They're inches from you in some cases. If you're in an apartment, you're like, oh, my God. Literally two feet across my door is someone I love. Don't ever want to be around again for the rest of my life.

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50.82 - 54.241 Monica Padman

Yeah, and one of them, last story, is intense.

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54.801 - 55.361 Dax Shepard

Yes.

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55.501 - 58.142 Monica Padman

Really intense. And oof. Yeah.

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58.462 - 61.263 Dax Shepard

Yeah, a lot of these things blur with stalking.

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61.404 - 62.424 Monica Padman

Yes, exactly.

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62.444 - 84.186 Dax Shepard

They have the same feeling. You can't get rid of them. You cannot get rid of them. Please enjoy Crazy Neighbors. We are supported by Klaviyo. Klaviyo helps brands build smarter digital relationships with their customers. And here at Armchair Expert we know a little something about how challenging that can be. Here's how Klaviyo does it.

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84.527 - 110.201 Dax Shepard

Their unified data and marketing automation platform turns customer data into personalized connections to make every moment count. across AI-powered email, SMS, analytics, and more. Klaviyo powers smarter digital relationships for more than 151,000 successful brands, including Hedley & Bennett, Fishwife, and Dagny Dover. Build smarter digital relationships with your customers.

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110.441 - 139.664 Dax Shepard

Visit klaviyo.com to make every moment count. We are supported by Audible. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. This is the one I am most excited to indulge myself with.

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139.924 - 148.995 Monica Padman

I'm so excited to listen to James, which is a new title by Percival Everett that is very, very hot right now.

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149.415 - 150.717 Dax Shepard

Well, there's so many good ones on the list.

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150.797 - 152.92 Monica Padman

We love Audible. This is how you go to bed.

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153.385 - 172.772 Dax Shepard

I love Audible. I swear by Audible. I can't wait to listen to the Orwell 1984 off this list. I'm also doing Fleas by autobiography right now, which I'm obsessed with. I can't get enough Audible in my life every night. Go to audible.com slash DAX and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash DAX.

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174.733 - 181.395

Hard times come and go Good times take them slow

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191.499 - 195.982 Katie

Hello. Oh, hello.

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196.263 - 197.303 Dax Shepard

Katie, where are you?

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197.724 - 198.785 Katie

I'm in Arkansas.

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199.045 - 201.967 Dax Shepard

Oh, wonderful. Home of Mr. Clinton, yeah?

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202.328 - 203.248 Katie

Yes, of course.

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203.408 - 205.33 Dax Shepard

Of course. Are you in Little Rock?

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205.65 - 208.773 Katie

No, I'm in Jonesboro. It's like northeast, close to Memphis.

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209.495 - 212.377 Dax Shepard

Oh, okay. So that's a beautiful part of the country.

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212.397 - 218.962 Katie

It's all right. It's just okay. If I were going to be like Northwest, that's like Ozark. That's a place to really be, I think.

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219.102 - 222.664 Dax Shepard

Ozark's a party, right? I need to get out there on a boat at some point.

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222.924 - 235.133 Monica Padman

Absolutely. When I was in second grade, we had to do a project on a city and I really wanted to do it on Little Rock. But there was another girl in my class who was from Little Rock. And so she was competing with me and she won.

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235.753 - 238.536 Dax Shepard

Oh, boy. Yeah. Why? You just like the name?

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238.796 - 240.217 Katie

I think I just liked the name.

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240.297 - 240.938 Dax Shepard

Little Rock.

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241.098 - 250.646 Katie

Yeah, I was like, that's so cute. That'd probably be second for me to Northwest Art. Yeah, if we had to rank, which is what this podcast is about, is me ranking the different places in Arkansas.

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250.666 - 253.529 Dax Shepard

You're absolutely right. Okay, so you have a crazy neighbor story.

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253.88 - 273.587 Katie

I do. I kind of had to make myself some notes to keep all of this straight. We have a lot of timeline info going on. Okay, great. So my husband and I moved here in September of last year from South Arkansas, where we're from. And I was very pregnant. I was due in December. Our house that we ended up buying is like a split level. It's got like a wraparound deck on the top level.

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273.667 - 296.735 Katie

And that's where the primary bedroom is, the living room, the kitchen. And then our driveway has two entrances and exits. And then so does our neighbor's driveway. And we share one of those entrances and exits. So on move-in day, our trash can was in the shared drive roped off to keep people from going in that drive, which we thought was odd. Like, have we already pissed somebody off?

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296.955 - 308.719 Katie

And so we were like, oh, let's do something nice, like go get cookies and introduce ourselves to that neighbor. But before we could do that, we actually saw her go to get her mail. And my husband, humble brag, he's pretty cute and he's really nice.

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308.839 - 308.899 Dax Shepard

And

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309.019 - 312.981 Katie

So, you know, I'm like, let's send him out there to talk to this old lady.

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313.021 - 314.721 Dax Shepard

Sure, as an ambassador of the family.

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314.761 - 328.388 Katie

Yeah, go schmooze a little bit. Go rub elbows with this old lady neighbor. And so he goes out. She's wearing a muumuu. She has a walking stick and some big cataract glasses. Oh, wow. already kind of giving off character energy.

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328.468 - 334.051 Monica Padman

She feels like she's a wizard trying to pretend to be a muggle and is not doing a great job.

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334.071 - 335.051 Dax Shepard

Okay, that's interesting.

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335.151 - 346.057 Katie

I'm trying to remember what character. There's a weird old lady in Harry Potter. Yes, Mrs. Squibb or something like that. Creepy, like jump scared. Rob also has images of this lady.

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346.397 - 350.64 Dax Shepard

Yeah, yeah. I have them stacked up here, but I'm going to wait to reveal it. Okay. Because you tell me to.

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351.38 - 365.291 Katie

So anyway, he goes and he talks to her and he comes back. He's like, oh, she's nice. She put the trash can there because there was a small pothole and there had been people looking at the house. She didn't want someone to get their car damaged, something, something. Okay, great. She said her husband was in the hospital with a bladder infection.

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365.491 - 375.178 Katie

Check up on her, you know, if we don't see her for a while or something because she was there by herself right now. She did say some kind of kooky old lady things. One example was she said, don't you just love the night?

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375.598 - 376.019 Mia

Oh, wow.

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376.259 - 386.307 Katie

And he was like, okay. She said something about how she just loves to stay up and she watches TV. And so, of course, then we continued to say, don't you just love the night? It's like a weird thing to creep each other out.

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386.447 - 386.787 Mia

Yeah, yeah.

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386.887 - 405.187 Katie

They exchanged phone numbers just so that we could contact her if we hadn't seen her in a while. She's in her late 70s. We just saw Wicked, so we're going to call her Mrs. Glenda. Okay. Okay. A couple weeks later, after we move in, we go to dinner. We come back and we're dilly-dallying around the house and we see a bullet hole through the window. Oh, my.

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405.227 - 411.476 Katie

We did call the police and we said we think there's a bullet hole. There's also an image of this. It went all the way into the dining room.

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411.716 - 416.278 Dax Shepard

Yes, I've got a photo of your open floor plan living room with a dinette. Right.

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416.318 - 430.186 Katie

So next to that pasta painting, there's like a nick in the drywall. And then if you look at those three windows to the left there, it came from one of those windows. So it literally went like all the way across and then into that drywall that we had to then patch up.

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430.326 - 432.687 Dax Shepard

And were the cops able to see that when they arrived?

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432.955 - 450.314 Katie

Yeah, they took a report, but they also basically were like, well, you're in the South. You're kind of in a wooded area, even though you are in city limits. So it might be someone hunting where they're not supposed to. Nothing we can really do. Time moves on. October, my husband called to check on her because we hadn't seen her in a bit. Usually we would see her going to get her mail almost daily.

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450.554 - 468.909 Katie

And she said, actually, there is something you can do for me. You can call the police. Okay. I want to file a report. There have been people watching me and trespassing on my property. So we're kind of getting weirded out because we just had this bullet hole. So we call, they come out, they talk to her. We don't hear anything about that because it's not really our business. But we get to November.

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469.25 - 486.26 Katie

We came home from an OB appointment. And as I was walking back out to the car to get something out of the car, my husband rushed me back inside and said, Miss Glinda's dancing around with a gun. Go back inside. Oh, oh, oh. Oh my God. And I was like dancing around with a gun. And he was like, go downstairs and I'll come get you.

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486.6 - 493.403 Dax Shepard

Miss Glenda is dancing around with a gun. What? That'd be a great title for a short story.

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494.183 - 514.451 Katie

He comes back in and he's called the police, obviously. And he said she came out from behind the side of her house where we can see her from our house and said that she was wearing like a helmet. And he said she had a rifle slung over her shoulders. Oh my God. And was yelling and doing almost like a scarecrow looking sort of movement. Very odd.

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514.631 - 519.573 Katie

Then he said that the helmet kind of tilted down over her face and then she tripped and almost dropped the rifle.

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519.673 - 522.674 Dax Shepard

It's like a mix of a comedy routine and scary.

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522.834 - 536.369 Katie

If it wasn't a gun, it would be like a different situation. But once the gun is in the mix, we're having an issue. So the police come, they talk to her apparently, and then they come talk to us since we're the ones that called. And they said that she definitely seemed kind of off, but they didn't see the firearm.

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536.57 - 547.545 Katie

And they said she was holding a cardboard box with the words birth control scribbled on it. What? She told the cops that she had been filming a video for her kids. Uh-oh.

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547.565 - 548.306 Dax Shepard

Okay.

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548.366 - 550.489 Katie

So we're already getting into weird territory.

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550.669 - 558.56 Dax Shepard

Yeah. If I'm the law enforcement, I'm like, I can't really put these three new pieces of evidence into one cohesive thought. They seem very unrelated.

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558.74 - 574.247 Katie

bizarre. So we get to February. One day she came and banged on our door. We weren't home, but when we did get home, we saw her like walking out around her house and she kind of yelled across the yard, Hey, don't use my driveway anymore. Oh. And we were like, okay, no problem.

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574.367 - 576.227 Dax Shepard

That was kind of you. I would have objected.

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576.248 - 581.45 Katie

At this point, I'm two months postpartum. So I'm like literally whatever I can do to not have you talk to me. Awesome.

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582.27 - 602.316 Katie

So we stop using that driveway. We don't even walk up it when we get our mail, even though our mailbox is on that side. Now we go like all the way around. So later this month, my husband shoots bows. We have like a target in the yard. And so he's standing out in the driveway area shooting this target. And he had our baby in the bassinet stroller situation just out with him.

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602.796 - 621.988 Katie

I'm inside and I hear a gunshot. I'm immediately freaking out because I know that this woman has a gun and I know that my husband and my baby are outside. Ugh. And so I run out. I don't see either one of them. So now I'm even more panicked. And then I realize he's down the street on the phone with who I assume at the moment is the cops. And so I'm like, okay, thank God they're okay at least.

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622.068 - 625.631 Katie

But I did see her holding a pistol, like walking into her house.

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625.711 - 629.274 Dax Shepard

She also has a pistol. So she's got a rifle and a pistol. She's very well armed.

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629.494 - 647.96 Katie

Yes, which isn't abnormal in the South, but this is when we get into an issue where it's like, how do you take away someone's guns when they are not mentally sound enough to have them, which she clearly is not. The cops come, they file a police report, and literally in the police report, it says, cops advise the suspect that it is illegal to discharge a weapon in city limits.

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648.433 - 650.215 Dax Shepard

That's it. Just a reminder. Hey.

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650.555 - 660.544 Katie

FYI, that's illegal. And she did admit she was like, oh, I was just shooting at the woods. Oh, my God. Okay. I have to figure out who this person... Does she actually have children? What about the husband that was in the hospital?

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660.584 - 661.826 Dax Shepard

Yeah, did he ever return? Whatever happened to him?

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662.066 - 664.048 Katie

To this day, we have never seen the husband.

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664.068 - 665.329 Dax Shepard

Okay, maybe there was no husband.

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665.349 - 671.874 Katie

That's not right. We... Have a lot of theories, obviously. You know, did she kill the husband? We don't know. Also, those bladder infections can get you.

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672.154 - 675.876 Dax Shepard

Yeah, it's just men don't get them generally. It's more of a female thing.

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676.036 - 696.35 Katie

I do some online sleuthing and I do find that she has two adult children. One, at least I knew, lived in town. He was a realtor. And so I found his cell phone on his realtor website and I called him and I explained the situation. I'm like, hey, we live next door to your mother. She's firing guns. Can we figure this out? And he was like, oh, we're estranged.

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697.851 - 720.593 Katie

he says a few years ago he tried to talk to her about her mental health and she basically said you're trying to steal my money and my house and put me in a home don't talk to me oh boy and so he suggests calling the sister he says last i heard they were still talking maybe give her a call so he gives me her phone number i call her she says we're estranged talk to my brother oh my god cool i am on my own

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721.073 - 745.375 Katie

but he did tell me that his father had had a stroke a few years back and he said to his knowledge the father is still alive and wasn't in a home okay in march my husband leaves the house he's a director of a soccer club can i ask a quick question the time you came out where you're shooting the bow and he was down the road did he tell you what had happened had she come out and just start firing in his direction

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745.555 - 765.698 Katie

He also heard the gun and then he saw her walking around the house. But anyways, he leaves to go to soccer practice. I'm home alone with the baby. And here comes Miss Glinda to the house. She starts ringing the doorbell and banging on the front door. I'm not going to answer because I don't know if she has a gun. I don't know what's happening. And I'm by myself with the baby. Oh my God.

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766.519 - 770.021 Dax Shepard

I'm now allowing myself to look at all the photos. I assume this is from the incident.

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770.562 - 784.191 Dax Shepard

And so for the listener, Katie has done a perfect job describing her. She does look like a character out of a Wes Anderson movie or something. There's one where she's got her wrists bent. Like she's almost a little over it. Okay. So she starts ringing the bell.

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784.451 - 802.356 Katie

And this is where the upper deck wraparound deck comes into play. So essentially she's ringing the bell. She's banging on the door. I have two big dogs. They start going absolutely nuts. So I'm like, okay, I'm just going to take me and the dogs and go into the bedroom. She'll think we're not home. Also, I have a sleeping baby downstairs. I'm trying not to wake the baby.

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807.438 - 807.718 Monica Padman

Okay.

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808.158 - 831.906 Katie

And she's banging on every single door. She's jiggling door handles. She's banging on every window. She's looking in. She laps the entire deck two times. She goes out to the garage area. She goes like she's going to maybe even go into the downstairs backyard area. And at this point, I'm freaking out. I don't know if she has a gun on her. I don't know if I've accidentally left a door open.

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832.186 - 847.414 Katie

What if I've done that and she comes into my house thinking that I'm in her house? Sure. Yeah. So I'm calling my husband. I'm in tears. And he immediately rushes home. He's on the phone with me the whole way. And I have this on video, even though he wouldn't want me to share it. But my husband's very non-confrontational. I'm very confrontational.

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847.574 - 856.36 Katie

You just see in the video, like he squeals up into the driveway. She's coming around at the front door and she's like, hey, neighbor, how's it going?

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856.5 - 857.781 Dax Shepard

Oh, she's code switched.

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857.921 - 876.322 Katie

And he's like, you have my phone number. There is no reason for you to be on our property over here banging on doors, jiggling door handles. She starts to get pissy. They get into a cussing argument. She's walking back to her house, like cussing him out. We call the police, file a police report, et cetera, et cetera. Like we do every one of these incidents.

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876.522 - 895.776 Katie

And all of the days and weeks after this confrontation, she's walking out to her mailbox and like flipping us off. After this, I filed an APS report, Adult Protective Services, because I'm like, she's off her rocker. She might be her husband's primary caretaker. None of her kids can get through to her. I don't know what else to do.

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895.996 - 911.847 Katie

And I do know that they came out for a visit because they accidentally came to our house. I'm not privy to the info after that. So this leads me to my final event. We get to April while my husband and I were out. Miss Glenda comes onto our property holding what looks like open mail. She's throwing the mail everywhere.

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912.007 - 922.193 Katie

She walked towards our front door and she's saying, hello, Katie and Rex are names. And she's proceeding to scream at our dogs through the window. That's that one photo where it looks like she's screaming.

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922.293 - 928.657 Dax Shepard

Yeah. The description I left out is it looks like there's a zombie circling your house. That's actually what it looks like. Like there's an undead trying to come in.

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928.996 - 930.097 Katie

It's terrifying.

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930.157 - 930.317 Dax Shepard

Yeah.

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930.457 - 949.866 Katie

And she's saying, where are you? Walks around the entirety of the deck multiple times, doing the same thing, jiggling the door handles, knocking on everything. And then again, we call and report this to the police. When the police come this time, they're like, would you like us to go criminally ban her from your property? And I'm like, sure, great. Why are we just now doing this?

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950.066 - 958.35 Katie

So they go, they attempt to make contact, but she doesn't answer the door. So they can't criminally ban her because she doesn't answer the door. Oh my gosh. That's the...

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958.57 - 960.511 Dax Shepard

A very arbitrary system we have here.

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960.771 - 967.875 Katie

Yes. I don't know if this is a state thing, but you can't file a restraining order unless there's already been evidence of physical altercation.

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968.195 - 971.697 Dax Shepard

You can't prove she shot through the window, even though we know she shot through the window.

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972.017 - 990.531 Katie

Exactly. Again, my husband leaves to go to soccer practice, and I am home alone with the baby. And here she comes again. This is later the same day. Oh, my God. She's back. I see her coming and I'm on the phone with 911 and I'm like, y'all better come here right now. I'm done with this lady. In my head, I'm like, I'm about to let my dogs out.

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990.551 - 991.452 Dax Shepard

It's time to escalate.

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991.613 - 1000.602 Katie

Yeah, exactly. And also they keep saying, well, we can't do anything unless we catch her on the property. And I'm like, I have video evidence of her being on the property. What's the point of the videos then? I don't know.

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1000.782 - 1001.703 Dax Shepard

Yeah, great question.

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1001.743 - 1026.378 Katie

So she comes up to the door, starts doing her typical routine. But then she gets angry at the dogs and screams again. And then she throws a bag of charcoal at the window where the dogs are barking at her. And then on her way back to her house, she knocks the grill over. Oh. Again, all this on video. The cops come and then this time they do make contact and they do criminally ban her.

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1026.638 - 1048.969 Katie

And basically they say she's being really nice. Like, I just wanted to see if someone still lived there. I hadn't seen them in a while. Oh my God. And then they said, the second that they said, ma'am, there's video evidence of you doing this. She like flipped and was like, I don't care. Arrest me then. Oh. Immediately had this weird reaction. So I don't know if there's a dementia element going on.

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1049.009 - 1051.37 Katie

Kind of sounds like it. It's sad.

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1051.49 - 1063.735 Dax Shepard

Well, I'm also wondering if she's just hammered. Is she just an old drunk? Does she get shit face and come up with these crazy ideas and she's got to get over to your property? And it could be a lot of things. It's the guns that really turn into something that needs to be taken seriously.

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1063.815 - 1065.556 Monica Padman

And her coming over every 14 minutes.

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1066.636 - 1081.594 Katie

After this, the cops are basically like, if I were you, I would file an affidavit and basically say that you want her to be charged with discharging a weapon in city limits, harassment, and trespassing. She does get charged. As far as I know, she had to appear in court.

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1082.014 - 1108.821 Katie

so i guess she has a record now from then on we really have not seen much of her other than her going to get her mail and then also apparently she had been walking around the neighborhood during a heat advisory and knocking on doors asking for help one lady this is the one that came and talked to us answered the door and she said something about i don't know where my husband is they took him away from me and so she was like okay well i can't really help with that but i can at least drive you back to your house

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1109.261 - 1116.003 Katie

And then she showed up the following night in the middle of the night saying the same thing. Yeah, there's some, yeah.

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1116.323 - 1136.487 Dax Shepard

You know what we need societally? We need some rung between jail and total freedom. You're not rounding them up and throwing them in a like mental institution, but there's gotta be like a state run kind of retirement home we could put you in. Some option that's not incarcerating them, but also this gal probably needs some supervision.

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1137.014 - 1142.216 Monica Padman

Yeah, there should be some sort of mandate. If you're wreaking a lot of havoc, you have to go somewhere.

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1142.236 - 1146.157 Dax Shepard

You're Yosemite Sam on your yard popping off pistols.

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1146.577 - 1146.998 Monica Padman

Jeez.

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1147.338 - 1150.659 Dax Shepard

Oh, wow. And you still live next to her. So there's more to come.

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1150.99 - 1164.78 Katie

She could have knocked during this. It would have been so great. My dream is that someone at the end of their crazy neighbor story just goes, I have a shout out. Can I just bring in real quick? And it's their neighbor. Well, you're the first, so it might happen. Okay.

0
💬 0

1164.92 - 1168.943 Dax Shepard

I hope you'll write us if there's any update in this story because I have a bad hunch.

0
💬 0

1169.063 - 1169.823 Monica Padman

Yeah, this isn't.

0
💬 0

1170.004 - 1171.625 Dax Shepard

I mean, you're still right next to each other.

0
💬 0

1171.705 - 1174.106 Monica Padman

It's not great.

0
💬 0

1174.126 - 1178.95 Dax Shepard

Oh, boy. I'm sorry. Last thing you think you're going to be living in fear of is an old, old lady.

0
💬 0

1179.23 - 1183.636 Katie

It sucks. It's like, oh, we have this sweet old lady and we just had this baby.

0
💬 0

1183.656 - 1189.103 Monica Padman

Yeah. The stakes are so high because the option is to move. Ugh.

0
💬 0

1190.117 - 1196.803 Dax Shepard

Well, Katie, I wish you a ton of luck with Miss Grendel. Glendal. Glenda. Miss Glenda. Miss Grundle.

0
💬 0

1197.003 - 1203.088 Katie

I'm going to give a quick shout out. My mother-in-law, Lee, was sad that she couldn't be up here to pop in at the end.

0
💬 0

1203.208 - 1204.209 Dax Shepard

Oh, we miss Lee.

0
💬 0

1204.369 - 1207.411 Katie

She started listening to this with me on like a road trip.

0
💬 0

1207.772 - 1208.252 Dax Shepard

It caught her.

0
💬 0

1208.512 - 1209.413 Katie

I reeled her right in.

0
💬 0

1209.493 - 1211.815 Dax Shepard

Oh, good job. Take more people on car rides.

0
💬 0

1211.995 - 1212.696 Katie

Okay, I'll try.

0
💬 0

1213.576 - 1217.84 Dax Shepard

Well, great meeting you, Katie. Be well and good luck with her. All right, you too. All right, bye. Bye.

0
💬 0

1227.461 - 1252.796 Dennis Rodman

Looking for your next streaming obsession? Paramount Plus has a mountain of all-new original dramas, including the series everyone is talking about. Landman, starring Billy Bob Thornton, Jon Hamm, and Demi Moore. Plus Lioness, with Zoe Saldana and Nicole Kidman. And Tulsa King, starring Sylvester Stallone. From Showtime comes The Agency, a spy thriller starring Michael Fassbender and Richard Gere.

0
💬 0

1253.457 - 1256.899 Dennis Rodman

Get the Paramount Plus with Showtime plan to start streaming today.

0
💬 0

1258.581 - 1264.365 Dax Shepard

Staying cozy in the winter months is essential, and therapy can be a great way to bring yourself some comfort that never goes away, even when the seasons change.

0
💬 0

1280.031 - 1286.936 Monica Padman

Therapy is essential to me during the holidays especially because I generally am going home.

0
💬 0

1287.436 - 1288.257 Dax Shepard

Right, yes.

0
💬 0

1288.377 - 1295.422 Monica Padman

And I need sort of some stability from my therapy and guidance to stay nice.

0
💬 0

1295.902 - 1315.345 Dax Shepard

Well, if you've ever been considering starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's completely online, so it's easy to integrate into your schedule. BetterHelp is flexible, too. It's easy to book or move appointments on their platform. And if the therapist you're matched with isn't the right fit, you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.

0
💬 0

1315.565 - 1347.526 Dax Shepard

Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash DAX today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P dot com slash DAX. We are supported by Audible. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984.

0
💬 0

1347.626 - 1351.049 Dax Shepard

This is the one I am most excited to indulge myself with.

0
💬 0

1351.309 - 1360.376 Monica Padman

I'm so excited to listen to James, which is a new title by Percival Everett that is very, very hot right now.

0
💬 0

1360.776 - 1362.097 Dax Shepard

Well, there's so many good ones on the list.

0
💬 0

1362.177 - 1364.299 Monica Padman

We love Audible. This is how you go to bed.

0
💬 0

1364.77 - 1400.555 Dax Shepard

I love Audible. I swear by Audible. I can't wait to listen to the Orwell 1984 off this list. I'm also doing Fleas by autobiography right now, which I'm obsessed with. I can't get enough Audible in my life every night. Go to audible.com slash DAX and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash DAX. Maya, Mia, Maya, Miramara, Miranmar. Hello.

0
💬 0

1400.575 - 1402.117 Mia

Nice to meet you.

0
💬 0

1402.157 - 1403.339 Dax Shepard

Nice to meet you. Is it Maya?

0
💬 0

1403.359 - 1404.02 Mia

It's Mia.

0
💬 0

1404.32 - 1406.863 Dax Shepard

It's Mia. I threw that out there as an other option.

0
💬 0
0
💬 0

1407.444 - 1409.948 Dax Shepard

It sounds like someone's using an electric toothbrush behind you.

0
💬 0

1410.239 - 1414.822 Mia

Yeah, I think there's construction that literally started outside the window one minute ago.

0
💬 0

1414.902 - 1419.004 Dax Shepard

Welcome to our world. Every time we start to record, it's like, oh, they're going to mow the grass right now.

0
💬 0

1419.024 - 1422.166 Mia

If you'd like me to call back, I can also do that.

0
💬 0

1422.266 - 1426.569 Dax Shepard

No, no, we'll party. People are used to hearing a bunch of shit. Okay, where are you at, Mia?

0
💬 0

1426.769 - 1446.118 Mia

So I'm currently calling from San Francisco. I live in San Diego, but we're up here for the week visiting friends and my husband's family. And funnily enough, this is where the story takes place. Late 2015, one of my best friends, Dominica, shout out, she and I were living together. We were living in a typical old Victorian style apartment.

0
💬 0

1446.358 - 1470.348 Mia

san francisco apartment we were on the first floor we had a neighbor who lived directly above us prior to this event we had very typical kind of almost expected noise complaints walking with shoes on in the middle of the night performatively loud sex always like on weekdays did you get a visual on the upstairs neighbor what kind of gentleman was he Sorry, I should have clarified. It was a girl.

0
💬 0

1470.688 - 1491.574 Mia

I would say up until this point, it's sort of noise you kind of sign up for living in an old apartment. Anyways, one night, Dominica and I are coming home from a night out. It wasn't all that late for like a Friday night. It was maybe 11 p.m. And we are walking up to our building. We get out of our Uber. Dominica's a little bit ahead of me. She turns the corner to walk into our building.

0
💬 0

1491.814 - 1502.144 Mia

And there's a few steps up, a very large glass door looking into our lobby. Dominica quickly turns back around, walks to me and is like, someone's getting eaten out.

0
💬 0

1502.485 - 1507.252 Dax Shepard

Oh, this scales a party. Okay.

0
💬 0

1507.272 - 1508.755 Mia

She's an exhibitionist.

0
💬 0

1509.376 - 1512.781 Dax Shepard

I just have to say there's something crazier about that than even fucking.

0
💬 0

1513.08 - 1526.01 Mia

A hundred percent. In order to get to the lobby, there's a few stairs and then the first floor is sort of on an elevated level. So she walking up and had bent over to give you a visual and the skirt was lifted from behind.

0
💬 0

1526.03 - 1532.435 Dax Shepard

Oh, wow. He's eating her out from behind. Can I ask one question about the neighbor? What age would you say she was?

0
💬 0

1532.716 - 1536.298 Mia

I would say she was a bit older than us. So we were mid twenties. I would guess around 30.

0
💬 0

1537.253 - 1541.095 Dax Shepard

Okay. Not 60. No. I feel like that would be really relevant. Okay.

0
💬 0

1541.135 - 1549.16 Mia

We sort of step back and decide what to do. And Dominica and I decide like, okay, I'm going to knock and then step back to give her.

0
💬 0

1549.18 - 1550.261 Dax Shepard

A little privacy.

0
💬 0

1550.561 - 1560.107 Mia

If it were me, I would probably sprint to my apartment and like shut the door. So we step back, give it a second. And then we walk and they're standing there, like almost waiting for us.

0
💬 0

1560.127 - 1563.208 Dax Shepard

Oh, wow. Yeah. They're kinky. You think this is a kink?

0
💬 0

1563.228 - 1579.394 Mia

Yeah, I think she's an exhibitionist for sure. I agree. And I had a feeling you guys were going to say that as well. So we punch in the code, we walk in and we kind of are like, okay, let's just walk right by, leave it be. And the girl says to me, oh my God, what are the chances?

0
💬 0

1580.014 - 1584.376 Dax Shepard

Well, pretty high if you get eaten out in the lobby. Yeah, pretty high someone's going to see.

0
💬 0
0
💬 0

1590.799 - 1594.221 Monica Padman

Was she weird? What was her personality like in general?

0
💬 0

1594.381 - 1600.946 Mia

We didn't know her very well. So we think she was an alcohol distribution. I wasn't maybe looking to be her friend.

0
💬 0

1601.126 - 1601.466 Dax Shepard

Right.

0
💬 0

1601.766 - 1606.59 Mia

That's my mode too. You're just cordial in the hallway, Sasha.

0
💬 0

1606.61 - 1606.67 Monica Padman

Wow.

0
💬 0

1607.05 - 1617.557 Dax Shepard

I don't feel like these people ever get paired with the right people. Like I would have been the dream neighbor for her. I would have been very encouraging of this behavior. I would have thought it was spectacular. You never get the neighbor you want.

0
💬 0

1617.637 - 1619.018 Monica Padman

I don't think they want that.

0
💬 0

1619.363 - 1621.124 Dax Shepard

They don't. They want me to be shocked and horrified.

0
💬 0

1621.144 - 1624.666 Monica Padman

They want shock. That's part of the thrill of doing that.

0
💬 0

1624.746 - 1629.469 Dax Shepard

So did it ever escalate beyond the getting eaten out in the foyer of the building?

0
💬 0

1629.709 - 1632.93 Mia

It didn't after that. I mean, she continued on with her regular antics.

0
💬 0

1633.651 - 1638.754 Dax Shepard

I'm going to go out on a limb and say she might have also had a little bit of a drinking problem herself. She might have. Yeah.

0
💬 0

1638.994 - 1645.077 Mia

I think there was some substance that evening for sure. God, if she was sober, that's scarier.

0
💬 0

1645.477 - 1646.078 Dax Shepard

Well, true.

0
💬 0
0
💬 0

1646.858 - 1647.118 Dax Shepard

Yeah.

0
💬 0

1649.059 - 1651.301 Mia

Wild experience. I think she moved out shortly after that.

0
💬 0

1651.621 - 1658.246 Dax Shepard

Okay, wow. What are the odds? Mia, that was incredible. I'm sorry you witnessed that. And I'm also jealous that you witnessed that.

0
💬 0

1658.406 - 1674.579 Mia

It got me here. So I'll end on the typical fangirl moment. I've been listening to you guys from the beginning. So I've been listening through many, many phases of life. Most recently, I just had a baby boy six months ago. Oh, congratulations. I did also want to share that our baby boy is named Crosby. Oh, cute.

0
💬 0

1675.459 - 1676.68 Dax Shepard

Oh, wonderful.

0
💬 0

1676.7 - 1678.662 Mia

Sweet. And if it's okay, I'll bring him in.

0
💬 0

1678.702 - 1686.348 Dax Shepard

Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, no. He's so cute. Do you have the roundest cheeks, Crosby? Hi, little buddy.

0
💬 0

1686.368 - 1687.789 Monica Padman

He is so cute.

0
💬 0

1687.809 - 1690.771 Dax Shepard

Oh, my goodness. Hi. Congratulations.

0
💬 0

1690.791 - 1693.133 Mia

What a beautiful family you have here.

0
💬 0

1693.153 - 1693.913 Dax Shepard

Yeah. Very San Diego.

0
💬 0

1693.953 - 1695.895 Mia

Oh, thank you. Yes, this is my husband, Benji.

0
💬 0

1696.195 - 1702.377 Dax Shepard

Could be on the cover of like American, that's too outdated, American Eagle. Abercrombie? Yeah, Abercrombie family.

0
💬 0

1702.397 - 1706.358 Monica Padman

Tommy Hilfiger, like maybe by a sailboat. Maybe Ralph Lauren even.

0
💬 0

1706.438 - 1707.738 Dax Shepard

Yeah, Ralph Lauren.

0
💬 0

1707.938 - 1708.578 Monica Padman

Oh, we'll take it.

0
💬 0

1708.738 - 1713.219 Dax Shepard

All right, well, nice meeting all of you. Congratulations. Take care.

0
💬 0

1713.239 - 1717.14 Monica Padman

Oh my God, I want to squish that baby. Yeah, me too.

0
💬 0

1717.16 - 1726.669 Dax Shepard

He was so cute. Chew on the cheeks a little bit. Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp. I like to chomp on cheeks. Do any chomping on Delta's cheeks when you had the chance?

0
💬 0

1726.689 - 1727.55 Monica Padman

I probably did.

0
💬 0

1727.59 - 1730.811 Dax Shepard

Chomp, chomp, chomp. Hello? Can you hear us?

0
💬 0

1731.572 - 1732.212 Eric

I can hear you.

0
💬 0

1732.252 - 1746.239 Dax Shepard

Can you hear me? Yes, we got you. Is it Eric? It is, yes. Okay, wonderful. I'm loving the room you're in. It's throwing me back to my uncle's rec room in the basement of the house. Very wood. I love it.

0
💬 0

1746.419 - 1749.561 Eric

Oh, yeah. Mid-century modern. It's my little office here.

0
💬 0

1749.781 - 1753.604 Dax Shepard

And is this the home in which you had a crazy neighbor or does it predate this house?

0
💬 0

1753.885 - 1754.725 Eric

This is a new house.

0
💬 0

1755.106 - 1755.566 Dax Shepard

Oh, okay.

0
💬 0

1755.806 - 1757.027 Eric

Oh, maybe because of.

0
💬 0

1757.748 - 1758.128 Dax Shepard

We'll see.

0
💬 0

1758.389 - 1779.885 Eric

This is about 10 years ago. So there's a few characters, obviously my wife being one of them. She's kind of social butterfly, the opposite of me, Texas girl, Southern, everywhere we go, she's talking with people and people love her. She's adorable and got dimples, blonde hair. So Basically, wherever we go, she's finding friends and I'm trying to lose the friends she's making.

0
💬 0
0
💬 0

1781.425 - 1800.371 Eric

And so we moved into our new house. We left the city of Rochester to move to a little town right on the outskirts of it. We were just so excited because it was tucked away. It was quiet, not a lot of hustle and bustle from the city. So we were just really excited to move in. The house was set back a little bit. So the driveway was a little bit longer than everyone else's.

0
💬 0

1800.551 - 1819.791 Eric

We get there and obviously we're making friends right away. My wife's talking with all the neighbors. Everyone's super nice. There's one particular neighbor right next door to us. Her name's Betty. She's about a 60-year-old Italian woman. Seems really sweet. We kind of hit it off talking at the end of the driveway, neighborly things. Everyone's really supportive in our neighborhood.

0
💬 0

1820.471 - 1842.802 Eric

And there was another neighbor across the street. His name's Randy. He was kind of like a bachelor guy, retired, but only like 47, 48 years old. So he retired kind of early. I think he worked for like the sheriff's department or something. Real nice guy. So late summer, we just moved in. The neighbor next door, Betty, brings over a gift. And it's a little broom, dustpan and a Frisbee.

0
💬 0

1843.203 - 1857.314 Eric

Oh, interesting mix. Yeah. We're like, OK, great. Thank you so much. That's nice. I found it odd because the only thing left in our house previously, you know, we moved in. It was empty. It was a couple of cans of paint and a dustpan and a broom and a Frisbee. What?

0
💬 0

1857.615 - 1862.478 Dax Shepard

Oh, my God. Like maybe she had gifted that to the previous owner. Exactly.

0
💬 0

1862.719 - 1867.461 Eric

But this is the only thing in the home. Weird. They moved out and left.

0
💬 0

1869.383 - 1870.143 Dax Shepard

That's very weird.

0
💬 0

1870.363 - 1891.994 Eric

I work a lot of evenings and weekends so I can come home and Mandy and Randy and Betty will be outside chatting, maybe having a little smoke break, having a cocktail, that kind of thing. Fall rolls around. Betty starts asking my wife, can you take out my dog once in a while when I'm running errands? They have a few cocktail hours, things like that. She's a stay-at-home mom, my wife.

0
💬 0

1892.014 - 1908.084 Eric

So it was just nice that she was hanging out with other retired people and had some company during the day and while I was at work and things. It was just a pretty typical fall, nothing too crazy. Winter rolls around and I'll shovel her driveway once in a while. Everyone's helping out.

0
💬 0

1908.164 - 1922.715 Eric

Randy comes by with his snowblower and we'll clear the end of each other's driveways after the big plow comes through and we're all helping each other out. Betty would ask my wife for a couple of rides to the doctor when it was snowing or things like that. And

0
💬 0

1923.215 - 1940.068 Eric

That's when I was like, maybe you just tell her no once in a while, even if you're available, just to make sure we're not on a trajectory that's untenable. Yeah. Good fences make good neighbors kind of approach. Just another couple of things that sparked my curiosity in my office was in the front of the house.

0
💬 0

1940.088 - 1962.441 Eric

So I could kind of see at the end and Betty would stop the mailman and talk for like an hour to the mailman. I'm like, this is not sustainable here. You know, I just can't imagine like, why would the mailman wait that long? Maybe he's lonely. I don't know. He was a younger guy, but then the mailman started showing up in street clothes to her house. That's a little weird.

0
💬 0

1962.501 - 1985.278 Eric

I don't know if you're supposed to have a relationship with the mailman like that. So spring rolls around and I see an ambulance across the street at Randy's house there. And it turns out he died suddenly. Oh my goodness. At 48? Young guy, you know, he smoked 10 packs of cigarettes a day, it seemed like, and 30 coolers light a day kind of habit. So we weren't surprised.

0
💬 0

1985.398 - 2009.283 Eric

But I guess he had a heart attack, called his dad a few hours before saying he was having some issues and then passed away. That was really sad. He was a real nice guy. Missed him. And that's kind of when things got a little weird. We started seeing Betty in a robe all the time, not really out and about like she was walking her dog. She would just walk her dog to the end of the street.

0
💬 0

2009.523 - 2021.732 Eric

And then one day she just came out just yelling at kids playing basketball in the middle of the day. And I walked out there and was just like, you know, oh, hey, calm down and give yourself a heart attack. She was really worked up. Again, another checkmark.

0
💬 0

2022.112 - 2045.953 Eric

maybe things aren't as stable as we thought here and then she started yelling at us from the fence waiting for us to like drive by on the driveway and kind of yell right at the car she's yelling that my wife killed randy oh my god she has some theories yeah wow that we ruined the neighborhood everything was good until you arrived for like the bad luck or something.

0
💬 0

2046.093 - 2067.038 Eric

So that's when I was like, okay, no more connection. Let's just ignore. I had a 10 year old son at the time. I told him Betty's sick and we kind of left it at that. Well, early summer now, I came home late at night, pulled in the driveway, got out of my car and it was just terrible smell. This is bad. You know, is it my trash can or something?

0
💬 0

2067.779 - 2086.716 Eric

We're about 300 feet from one of the Great Lakes, so you can get some kind of terrible smells once in a while. It's summertime. I'm like, oh, that's weird, but I'm tired. It's late. I'll solve this problem tomorrow. Maybe we'll be gone. I wake up in the morning. I get some errands to run at Home Depot. I hop in my truck that was parked in the driveway the previous night.

0
💬 0

2086.916 - 2109.512 Eric

I still smell this terrible smell. I'm like, what is this? Look around, look in the trash can. I just can't seem to find it. I hop in the truck. I go to Home Depot. I take this road. It's through a park, very windy, 25 miles an hour. I'm driving on this road and someone just passes me, double line, shouldn't be passing me, gives me a dirty look. I'm like, what's going on?

0
💬 0

2109.612 - 2133.653 Eric

Sunday morning, everyone relax, keep driving. I come to a red light and I see this truck behind me and then he kind of backs up and then pulls alongside me. And this truck was like a farm truck. The doors don't match the paint. There's two gentlemen there. They're real kind of dirty guys. And he kind of makes this motion like a hitchhiker or something motion. Wasn't sure what exactly he was doing.

0
💬 0

2133.953 - 2161.417 Eric

The light turns green. I'm like, what is going on today? Why is everyone just looking weird? And I pull into the Home Depot. I go past the entrance. And again, I just noticed everyone looks so angry today. I'm just so confused. Pull into a parking spot. step out of my truck. I took a few steps and it just, it hit me, the smell. And I looked down and tied to my bumper. Is a dead animal.

0
💬 0

2161.957 - 2172.543 Eric

Oh, my God. I've been dragging this animal through my town on a Sunday morning. Through my town. And everyone's trying to tell me. And that's why everyone's so angry and passing me.

0
💬 0

2172.563 - 2179.026 Dax Shepard

What kind of fucking psycho are you? Were you able to identify the carcass immediately? Or did you know what kind of animal?

0
💬 0

2179.266 - 2180.848 Eric

First, I thought it was my cat.

0
💬 0

2181.048 - 2181.468 Dax Shepard

Okay.

0
💬 0

2181.709 - 2205.913 Eric

And I was in shock. Did get a closer look. It was a raccoon. Wow. It was tied around its neck with like a USB cable and then like a wired mouse then attached to my bumper. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my God. Wow. And again, I'm looking around. Everyone's looking at me. I got nothing to say. I'm in shock. You know, people are clenching their kids in the Home Depot parking lot.

0
💬 0

2205.933 - 2228.567 Eric

Like, look at this monster dragging roadkill. And then I'll call him the Home Depot angel. The guy who's collecting the carts comes over, kind of breaks the silence as the crowd is gathered around me. And I'm unsure what to do. Everyone else is unsure what to do. And just looks at me and goes, looks like he caught something. Oh, that's a nice icebreaker, I guess. Yeah, he's there to help.

0
💬 0

2228.787 - 2235.731 Eric

And he's like, no worries, man. I'll be right back. Comes back with a bucket and a shovel. We cut this guy loose.

0
💬 0

2235.932 - 2236.192 Mia

Oh, my God.

0
💬 0

2236.212 - 2241.655 Eric

And he scoops him up, puts him in the bucket. Oh. And he's like, I'll take care of this. I'll throw it in the dumpster.

0
💬 0

2241.815 - 2244.437 Dax Shepard

Yeah. Did you grease this kid 10 bucks or anything?

0
💬 0

2244.717 - 2249.94 Eric

I was in shock. What I did is a few days later, I gave him a good review. Oh, my God.

0
💬 0

2261.033 - 2286.453 Dax Shepard

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2286.553 - 2310.521 Dax Shepard

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2311.101 - 2340.332 Dax Shepard

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2340.692 - 2357.323 Dax Shepard

WabiWab made our website using Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. What I love about Squarespace is aside from the functionality, it's just so visually pleasing. And Rob was able to whip this up in no time with all the incredible templates that were available to him.

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2357.543 - 2359.144 Monica Padman

And it looks very profesh.

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2359.444 - 2379.896 Dax Shepard

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2380.296 - 2402.511 Dax Shepard

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2402.871 - 2406.333 Dax Shepard

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2446.448 - 2452.871 Eric

put pieces together and realized that she must have at night, her or someone, maybe the mailman.

0
💬 0

2452.991 - 2455.012 Dax Shepard

She enlisted him in her plan.

0
💬 0

2455.112 - 2472.36 Eric

Possibly to put this kind of roadkill attached to my truck underneath so that I wouldn't see it until I pulled out and pulled away. And then I just went down to the police station the next day and was like, I'm not concerned about this woman hurting us, but that's a lot of diseases on this raccoon. Yeah.

0
💬 0

2472.5 - 2481.126 Dax Shepard

Well, and minimally you go, hey, this is escalating. So they were shouting from the fence. Now we've got carrying attached to the bumper. What's next? Exactly.

0
💬 0

2481.406 - 2485.809 Eric

She moved a few years after that. And then we moved a few years after she left.

0
💬 0

2485.85 - 2493.515 Dax Shepard

Do you think they called her and said, hey, take your foot off the gas on your neighbor? We're aware of what's going. Why do you think it stopped and she didn't continue to escalate?

0
💬 0

2493.615 - 2506.325 Eric

They came over to the house. The police talked with her and some of the other neighbors. I just think about all the signs. Everyone is kind of warning us. Even the previous owner of the home kind of just left what they gave her, right?

0
💬 0

2506.365 - 2525.998 Dax Shepard

Yeah, they didn't want to take it with them. I wish I could talk to her because my big curiosity now after hearing the whole story is, were they slashing prices on a broom, dustpan, frisbee combo? And she's like, I'm going to pick up five of these and I'll give them out. Right. Or is every time someone moves and she's like, oh, I know the perfect thing to get. And then she goes and gets a new one.

0
💬 0

2526.078 - 2527.538 Monica Padman

I kind of think it's that.

0
💬 0

2527.618 - 2528.058 Dax Shepard

You do?

0
💬 0

2528.078 - 2531.679 Monica Padman

Yeah, like she's like, this is the gift to give new neighbors.

0
💬 0

2532.499 - 2541.801 Eric

She said something about it being good luck. It gives someone a broom or something. So they're saying it was good luck and then the people leaving it behind.

0
💬 0

2542.062 - 2546.422 Dax Shepard

When you move out, that would have been great if you left it next to the other one. I did.

0
💬 0

2546.503 - 2548.123 Monica Padman

You did? Yeah, that's hilarious.

0
💬 0
0
💬 0

2551.254 - 2554.956 Eric

Oh my God, that is so funny. I was not bringing that to my next home.

0
💬 0

2554.996 - 2556.217 Dax Shepard

It's kind of like a horror movie.

0
💬 0

2556.297 - 2560.079 Monica Padman

It is. Yeah. But also the broom kind of foreshadowing.

0
💬 0
0
💬 0

2560.32 - 2563.401 Monica Padman

Because you needed to clean up eventually. Oh, okay.

0
💬 0

2563.661 - 2570.986 Eric

It was very interesting. Wow. I thank you for letting me tell that story. Hopefully it was somewhat interesting. Oh, it's incredible.

0
💬 0

2571.166 - 2590.5 Dax Shepard

I'm always encouraged when women turn out to be shitty as well, like men are, because we're just so universally shitty. It's nice when women are shitty. And I'm delighted that we have a couple of stories now where the perpetrator is a crazy lady. And then this wearing the nightwear out, that's a guaranteed part of the pattern, right? Same with our last person who dealt with a crazy gal.

0
💬 0

2590.78 - 2591.18 Eric

Oh, wow.

0
💬 0

2591.44 - 2594.963 Dax Shepard

Well, Eric, great meeting you. What a bizarre and interesting story.

0
💬 0

2595.123 - 2613.758 Eric

My wife really got me into armchair expert. We pretty much only listen when we go on road trips and she kind of created a monster. She's like, you know, can we listen to music once in a while? I'm ready to binge on experts on experts and she needs a little bit of tunage and relaxation in between. Oh, that's delightful.

0
💬 0

2613.778 - 2615.76 Dax Shepard

I hope you guys take a million more road trips.

0
💬 0

2616.12 - 2618.202 Eric

Yeah. Can she pop in and say hello?

0
💬 0

2618.382 - 2621.905 Dax Shepard

Yeah. This is the gal from Texas who's very hospitable.

0
💬 0

2622.105 - 2625.606 Eric

My beautiful Southern bride. Her name's Mandy. Hi.

0
💬 0

2625.666 - 2626.706 Mandy

Hi, Mandy.

0
💬 0

2627.067 - 2627.947 Dax Shepard

From Texas.

0
💬 0
0
💬 0

2629.247 - 2630.068 Dax Shepard

Where in Texas?

0
💬 0

2630.268 - 2637.77 Mandy

I was born in Austin. You lucky duck. My grandparents, it was kind of a bummer when they moved. I'm sorry, when they died.

0
💬 0

2638.13 - 2639.25 Dax Shepard

Moved on to heaven.

0
💬 0

2639.911 - 2643.752 Mandy

The family sold the house. I was like, no, don't sell the house.

0
💬 0

2646.007 - 2650.069 Monica Padman

But they did. It's okay. I have a question. Why'd you kill Randy?

0
💬 0

2650.089 - 2656.292 Dax Shepard

Yeah, what was it that Randy had done that made you want to turn homicidal? Great question.

0
💬 0

2656.472 - 2660.113 Mandy

I feel like I gave Randy a nice out from Betty.

0
💬 0

2660.213 - 2661.974 Dax Shepard

Sure, sure, sure.

0
💬 0

2662.154 - 2672.613 Mandy

I feel bad. Poor Randy. I think he just had a lot of fun. Yeah. He did have a stressful job. He worked as a correctional officer. Oh, wow.

0
💬 0

2672.673 - 2677.855 Dax Shepard

Yeah. I think the rate of alcoholism in all law enforcement is really tragically high. It's a rough job.

0
💬 0

2678.095 - 2680.236 Mandy

It is. We miss him. He was a good dude.

0
💬 0

2680.476 - 2682.396 Dax Shepard

Well, it's delightful meeting both of you.

0
💬 0

2682.596 - 2685.457 Mandy

This is great. Thanks so much for listening to this guy prattle on.

0
💬 0

2685.637 - 2687.778 Dax Shepard

Oh, I loved it. He sucked us into his rhythm.

0
💬 0

2688.038 - 2693.139 Mandy

Oh, my gosh. I couldn't believe that story is out in the open.

0
💬 0

2693.239 - 2694.76 Dax Shepard

All right. Be well. Much love.

0
💬 0

2696.104 - 2698.465 Monica Padman

Hello. Hi, I'm so excited.

0
💬 0

2698.605 - 2699.825 Dax Shepard

We're going to call you Sarah.

0
💬 0

2700.005 - 2706.467 Monica Padman

Yeah. Sarah, you have color-coded sweaters as I do in your closet. I do. That's how I decide what to wear.

0
💬 0

2706.667 - 2710.768 Sarah

I switch colors kind of every day. Love it. It's so cute.

0
💬 0

2711.088 - 2711.688 Dax Shepard

Where do you live?

0
💬 0

2711.948 - 2712.728 Sarah

I'm in Ottawa.

0
💬 0

2713.068 - 2714.629 Dax Shepard

Nice. Are we cold?

0
💬 0

2714.749 - 2717.929 Sarah

Yeah, it is. We are expecting freezing rain tonight.

0
💬 0

2718.109 - 2719.23 Dax Shepard

And what time is it getting dark?

0
💬 0

2719.43 - 2724.111 Sarah

So it's about 4.11 right now. 4.30, it'll probably be pitch blackout.

0
💬 0

2724.471 - 2724.511 Dax Shepard

Oh.

0
💬 0

2725.782 - 2727.363 Sarah

That's too early.

0
💬 0

2727.443 - 2728.583 Dax Shepard

You would not do that.

0
💬 0

2729.063 - 2729.904 Sarah

That's not for me.

0
💬 0

2730.324 - 2731.324 Dax Shepard

Monica wouldn't survive.

0
💬 0

2731.424 - 2737.147 Sarah

It's not really for me either, but I suffered through it for some of the other benefits of this place. That's fair.

0
💬 0

2737.347 - 2739.207 Dax Shepard

So you have a crazy neighbor story.

0
💬 0

2739.427 - 2744.429 Sarah

I do. Yeah. Sorry. Don't break it. I'm very nervous. Oh, don't be nervous.

0
💬 0

2744.83 - 2747.751 Dax Shepard

You're with your friends, Monica and Dax and Wabi Wab.

0
💬 0

2747.931 - 2764.199 Sarah

I just opened my Instagram and like literally first post was Dax. Then it was Monica. Then it was armchair. I'm like, yeah. This story happened in March of 2017, but the background goes a bit before that. So I was living in an apartment. I had been there about one year. It was just me and my dog.

0
💬 0

2764.219 - 2784.07 Sarah

And one day I'm out for a walk a few streets away and a man came running up to me and he introduced himself. He said he had just moved in across the hall from me and he recognized me. So he wanted to come say hi. And that was fine. It was like a couple streets over. So that was a bit weird. But for the next year and a half, there was no issues. He was neighborly. I'd run into him occasionally.

0
💬 0

2784.13 - 2802.001 Sarah

He'd pet my dog. He'd say hi through the door to my dog sometimes. I didn't know much about him, but I did pick up a few bits over time. So he was in his late 40s. I don't think he worked. So I do believe he was on like a social assistance program. And he had formerly been an engineer, which is just something that came to the back of my mind for later.

0
💬 0

2802.021 - 2809.651 Sarah

He had mentioned an out-of-town boyfriend, and he'd sometimes be gone for a few weeks at a time to go visit him, but I never saw the boyfriend come our direction.

0
💬 0

2809.891 - 2815.298 Dax Shepard

Can I ask really quick how many people live in Ottawa? How populated is the town you're in in this story?

0
💬 0

2815.538 - 2835.842 Sarah

Ottawa has a million people, although it's a spread out city, but the area I was in was fairly dense. Anyway, so then fast forward to about six months before the event in March, and I am starting to notice some odd behavior and it continues to escalate over the next several months. So like one thing, like his hair was perfectly normal and it started to get just wilder and wilder.

0
💬 0

2835.862 - 2839.823 Sarah

And like by the end, it was just bleached blonde and completely unkempt and crazy and

0
💬 0

2840.043 - 2860.881 Sarah

oh wow i started to notice that i was running into him more frequently and then it ramped up to being like almost every time i left my apartment that i'd be running into this guy it felt suspicious i'd go out and then he knocked on his window to like wave to me through the window i was just starting to feel nervous it's now early february and i had mentioned to my mom like i

0
💬 0

2861.141 - 2880.65 Sarah

I think I might start looking for somewhere else to live. I'm just getting like a bad feeling, but wasn't super urgent about it. And then one night in early February, there was an incident in the hallway. I was in my living room and the walls are like paper thin. So I could hear everything in the hallway and the police showed up. It was not a peaceful situation. Lots of yelling.

0
💬 0

2880.69 - 2882.53 Sarah

I could hear physical struggle out there.

0
💬 0

2882.57 - 2883.09 Mia

Oh, God.

0
💬 0

2883.13 - 2903.658 Sarah

And at one point, he started doing a religious chant in like a foreign language. And it sounded almost like speaking in tongues. Oh, God. Oh, wow. He was like white French Canadian. Yeah. So for about half an hour before the police did take him away, and I was leaving for a trip the next day and would be gone for a week. I was like, okay, when I get back, I'm looking for an apartment.

0
💬 0

2903.878 - 2923.048 Sarah

But then when I came back from my trip, he was nowhere to be seen. So I definitely had like a sense of relief about that. But I also kind of lost my sense of urgency. A small aside, during this period that he's away, I was also talking to the office of men about another issue. And she had asked me about him one day. And so I started telling her what I'd been noticing.

0
💬 0

2923.088 - 2944.663 Sarah

And she told me that she actually had to start screening her phone calls because of him. Because he had been calling her 20 to 30 times a day. Oh, no. March 1st, he came back and I just had an immediate sense of dread. Like, oh, why did I waste this time? And he was away and not get out of here. And again, I took my dog out, got in and I went in as quickly as I can. So I shut my door.

0
💬 0

2945.004 - 2956.571 Sarah

But then 15 seconds later, he knocked on my door. Oh, fuck. And I knew he had just seen me come in, so I like answered it. But he was coming to apologize for the incident that had happened in February.

0
💬 0

2957.031 - 2979.93 Sarah

And he explained to me that his nurses had been changing his medication and it had been setting him off and that he had made comments about self-harm, which is why the police had showed up that night. And he had been in the mental health hospital in Ottawa. But then he proceeded to say, if anything happens again, please don't call the police on me. Please call the medics instead.

0
💬 0

2979.95 - 2988.856 Sarah

But he then proceeded to go on about a birthday party he wanted to throw in May. It was going to be his 50th. And he wanted to rent out my apartment to do that.

0
💬 0

2988.996 - 2989.717 Mia

Oh. What?

0
💬 0

2989.737 - 2997.866 Sarah

So that he'd have his apartment and my apartment. Oh my God. And I was like, well, no. And then he's like, well, it's fine. You can lock your bedroom door.

0
💬 0

2997.886 - 2999.988 Dax Shepard

I'll just throw a party in your living room, right?

0
💬 0

3000.288 - 3007.476 Sarah

It's fine. He's super pushy about it. I'm like, we'll talk about it closer too. But full well in my brain, I'm like, I'm not going to be here anymore.

0
💬 0
0
💬 0

3008.357 - 3028.852 Sarah

Then March 3rd, I was out at a concert with friends. I was not driving that night. I had parked at my friend's house and she was driving and driving me home after because the next day I was going back to her place anyways for a birthday. So I didn't have my car that night. The potential was there for me to drink, but I was not drunk. I had two drinks over the course of many, many hours.

0
💬 0

3028.952 - 3053.378 Sarah

By the time I got home, it was almost 2 a.m., maybe 1.30. So again, my dog had been by himself for a few hours. So I go let him out. I'm coming back in, and he comes out of his apartment. So he kind of blocks me from my way in. And he was very, very clearly high on something. He was super giddy and high energy, jumping around. He was going from topic to topic.

0
💬 0

3053.418 - 3065.665 Sarah

At one point, he started serenading me. Oh. It was just wild. Like, I didn't even know what to do. And then he drops on me that earlier that day, he had been planning to bomb the building. Oh!

0
💬 0

3066.627 - 3068.508 Dax Shepard

Oh, oh, oh.

0
💬 0

3068.868 - 3069.748 Sarah

Oh, my God.

0
💬 0

3069.768 - 3071.009 Dax Shepard

Wow, he let that slip out.

0
💬 0

3071.129 - 3087.435 Sarah

He was telling me, and then he shows me sitting right in his doorway the supplies he had bought to do it. Oh, my God. The thing that sticks out in my mind is, you know, those propane canisters that you'd use for like a torch. They're kind of narrow, about a foot tall. There was about a dozen of those.

0
💬 0

3087.655 - 3087.935 Wabi Wab

Oh, gee.

0
💬 0

3088.075 - 3105.45 Sarah

And again, remember, he was an engineer, so he probably had to know how to do that. But he told me then he had changed his mind because he heard my dog whipper and decided he didn't want my dog to get hurt. So that's what made him change his mind about it and that he was going to return the supplies the next day.

0
💬 0

3105.47 - 3108.112 Monica Padman

Oh, boy. This is horrifying.

0
💬 0

3108.132 - 3129.047 Sarah

At some point during this whole conversation, he heard... handed me a stack of journals. There was like six or seven of them. And he asked me to hang on to them. He said, you can read them, but please don't give them to anybody, especially not the police. And then finally, another neighbor on our floor came out and was like, why the hell is there a conversation happening at 2am?

0
💬 0

3129.247 - 3144.353 Sarah

So I then slipped into my apartment and locked the door. I had no car. So I completely panicked. I read a couple of pages of the journals and then I slammed them shut. I was like, this is too invasive. I can't text my sister and be like, do you still have a spare room? And then I just shut down and went to bed. I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do.

0
💬 0

3144.473 - 3157.678 Sarah

So then the next day I was just blocking it out. And my friend came over, I finally told her and she's like, we need to have get you out of here. You need to call the police. But my concern with calling the police was that I'm going to call them. They're going to deem him not a threat.

0
💬 0

3157.878 - 3177.206 Sarah

He's going to know that I called the police on him when he three days ago just told me, please don't call the police, call the ambulance. Yeah. I have to get my ducks in a row and then report it. But they talked with sense into me like, what if next time nothing stops him? There is other families in here. So I packed up a bag, took my dog, left, called the police.

0
💬 0

3177.626 - 3200.999 Sarah

And they did exactly what I expected. Showed up, deemed him not an immediate threat. And then left. I'm done here. I'm not. living in this apartment anymore. Luckily, I have good parents who live nearby. So I was able to go there and I emailed the office admin again, be like, remember our conversation about this guy? This is what happened. I don't want to live here.

0
💬 0

3201.059 - 3216.523 Sarah

I'm paid for the month of March. Can I just break my lease at the end of it instead of the regular 60 days we have to give in Ontario? So they let me out of it. My parents and my brother and sister and one of my friends came, helped me load up my whole apartment in two hours as

0
💬 0

3216.926 - 3245.675 Sarah

quickly as we can while we were there he did knock on the door and ask if i was there my dad and brother answered i was there but they said i wasn't he said i apologize i hope she's not moving because of me then he asked for his journals back and we passed them out the door that was the end of my bomber neighbors did you ever find out anything more about this i mean the notion that someone else just moved in i know across the hall i really hope he got

0
💬 0

3246.215 - 3256.646 Sarah

some help and was able to get stable medication or something. I'm glad these programs exist that some people who need help can get social assistance on housing, but I never want to live.

0
💬 0

3256.846 - 3264.934 Monica Padman

But also, how is he deemed not a threat when he had just told you that he was about to blow up?

0
💬 0

3265.034 - 3268.158 Dax Shepard

Not even thinking about it had taken many steps.

0
💬 0
0
💬 0

3268.678 - 3295.403 Sarah

the part i was like well he did have the materials and again i was like maybe that's on me that i waited not quite 24 hours but 20 hours maybe the supplies had been removed by the time the police showed up but i know he was known to the police obviously he had been taken in by them three weeks prior we're frustrated with this also imagine how frustrated the cops are there's nothing really they can do they just got to keep responding to these people but there's a whole protocol probably everyone is extremely frustrated

0
💬 0

3295.603 - 3303.149 Sarah

Right. He hadn't actually committed a crime yet. You're allowed to own those propane cylinders and whatever other materials.

0
💬 0

3303.229 - 3307.893 Dax Shepard

You're in a position where you're trying to assess who is just a little nuts, but not actually violent.

0
💬 0

3308.013 - 3309.415 Monica Padman

They straight up said it.

0
💬 0

3309.755 - 3310.756 Dax Shepard

I was going to blow up the building.

0
💬 0

3310.796 - 3315.7 Monica Padman

Yeah. Then I don't know what else more anyone could do. That's a full threat.

0
💬 0

3315.86 - 3322.986 Sarah

Yeah. This time he decided, oh, he likes my dog and he didn't want him to get hurt. But I'm like, what about the little baby that lives upstairs?

0
💬 0

3323.226 - 3329.471 Dax Shepard

Oh, wow. Well, Sarah, I'm glad you got out unscathed. That's a very stressful and long time of being stressed.

0
💬 0

3329.731 - 3336.537 Sarah

Oh, scary. Yeah, it's kind of my thing, though, shutting it out and ignoring it for a while.

0
💬 0

3337.438 - 3341.701 Dax Shepard

I hope you move to like 12 acres and you're just in the center of it with a huge buffer.

0
💬 0

3342.702 - 3347.084 Sarah

I'm not quite in Tallmakers, but I do now have my own house in a suburban area.

0
💬 0

3347.224 - 3349.844 Dax Shepard

Well, lovely meeting you. Sorry you went through that.

0
💬 0

3350.085 - 3358.147 Sarah

Thank you. Monica, I just finished reading your day one gift guide, and you're such an incredible writer. Oh, thank you. And Dax, I saw the little mouse that you drew.

0
💬 0

3358.347 - 3360.048 Dax Shepard

Did you like it?

0
💬 0

3360.128 - 3361.208 Sarah

I did, very much.

0
💬 0

3361.308 - 3370.011 Dax Shepard

If I can create a crow of its quality, then it'll end up on a sherp. That's a hill I've got to climb still, the Crow Hill. All right, well, be well and great meeting you.

0
💬 0

3370.231 - 3370.672 Mia

Thank you.

0
💬 0

3370.692 - 3388.548 Dax Shepard

All right, take care. This brought back a memory because, you know, I lived in the same apartment for 10 years. So I saw a lot of people come and go. And I had a dude that lived below me and across the hall. He had just gotten out of prison. He was originally from Hawaii. And this is the gentleman that I smoked crack with.

0
💬 0

3388.768 - 3389.129 Monica Padman

Okay.

0
💬 0

3389.569 - 3410.885 Dax Shepard

one night well we got in a fight then we smoke crack and for the next six months that he lived there before i believe he went back to prison i would be in bed and there'd be a knock at my door at like three in the morning and i would look out and he would be in the stair landing smoking crack and knocking on my door and i would look through the peephole and he'd say i see you peeping

0
💬 0

3411.765 - 3422.449 Dax Shepard

And I'm like, oh, jeez, man. I just fucking got out of here. And he'd be up there for 30 minutes banging on my door, smoking crack. That was a rough six months.

0
💬 0

3422.469 - 3423.87 Monica Padman

And you never answered, right?

0
💬 0

3424.03 - 3424.35 Dax Shepard

No.

0
💬 0

3424.43 - 3426.05 Monica Padman

Yeah.

0
💬 0

3426.451 - 3430.192 Dax Shepard

There's a weird detail, but he had given me his rice cooker when we were...

0
💬 0

3430.712 - 3431.433 Monica Padman

Uh-huh.

0
💬 0

3431.493 - 3441.286 Dax Shepard

That long TV. And then at one point he was at the door and he wanted his rice cooker back. And I'm like, I do want to give him his rice cooker back. But I also don't want to interact with him because he's smoking crack in the hallway.

0
💬 0

3441.306 - 3443.549 Monica Padman

Yeah, fuck. What did you do?

0
💬 0

3443.569 - 3446.973 Dax Shepard

I put the rice cooker on his doorstep the next day. That's what I was going to say.

0
💬 0

3446.993 - 3448.315 Monica Padman

That would have been smart. Yeah.

0
💬 0

3448.975 - 3450.176 Dax Shepard

Oh, God.

0
💬 0

3450.276 - 3452.277 Monica Padman

Neighbors are wild.

0
💬 0

3453.278 - 3457.88 Dax Shepard

All right. Well, I love you. Love you. You just had a neighbor interact with the cops.

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3457.9 - 3479.953 Monica Padman

I did have an incident. I don't know who listens, so I don't want to say anything. And I wasn't involved, but there was an incident above me and there were cops. Also, at one of my other apartments, there was a sort of similar cops and firemen came because of a threatening their life situation. Yeah. I think people know I have a neighbor issue currently.

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3479.973 - 3484.736 Dax Shepard

Yeah, yeah. What about when you walked out of your old apartment and Sean Penn was in the driveway?

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3484.856 - 3485.957 Monica Padman

That was exciting.

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3486.057 - 3487.478 Dax Shepard

That makes up for all the other stuff.

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3487.578 - 3495.003 Monica Padman

That's true. I had a neighbor for a second that was dating Zac Efron and her roommate was Sean Penn's daughter.

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3495.023 - 3496.744 Dax Shepard

Oh, so you saw Zac Efron as well?

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3496.984 - 3504.169 Monica Padman

It was always like Allison saw him walking. I'm pretty sure his car was blocking my car and I couldn't go to my improv show.

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3504.369 - 3514.274 Dax Shepard

Oh, but it was worth it. It was worth it. So exciting. That's funny to be living in like an entry-level apartment and walk outside and Sean Penn's hanging in the driveway.

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3514.394 - 3514.834 Monica Padman

I was like.

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3514.854 - 3515.635 Dax Shepard

I'm in Hollywood.

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3515.695 - 3516.375 Monica Padman

I've made it.

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3516.555 - 3522.397 Dax Shepard

We had that with Dennis Rodman when we moved to Costa Mesa. Oh, really? He was dating one of the girls in the apartment complex.

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3522.417 - 3522.977 Dennis Rodman

In your apartment complex?

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3522.997 - 3526.199 Dax Shepard

Yeah. And you'd see him? Occasionally, yeah. Hard to miss, Dennis Rodman.

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3526.479 - 3528.4 Monica Padman

LA, where dreams come true.

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3528.42 - 3531.201 Dax Shepard

They come true every second. All right. Love you.

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3531.221 - 3531.521 Monica Padman

Love you.

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3533.643 - 3537.965 Dennis Rodman

Do you want to sing a tune or something? We don't have a theme song. Oh. Okay, great.

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3538.745 - 3554.891 Wabi Wab

We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're going to ask some random questions, and with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions. I'm a flyer rhyme fish.

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3561.257 - 3580.803 Dax Shepard

Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.

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3581.897 - 3605.222

They say Hollywood is where dreams are made, a seductive city where many flock to get rich, be adored, and capture America's heart. But when the spotlight turns off, fame, fortune, and lives can disappear in an instant. When TV producer Roy Radin was found dead in a canyon near LA in 1983, There were many questions surrounding his death.

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3605.523 - 3628.587

The last person seen with him was Laney Jacobs, a seductive cocaine dealer who desperately wanted to be part of the Hollywood elite. Together, they were trying to break into the movie industry. But things took a dark turn when a million dollars worth of cocaine and cash went missing. From Wondery comes a new season of the hit show Hollywood and Crime, The Cotton Club Murder.

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3629.187 - 3640.915

Follow Hollywood and Crime, The Cotton Club Murder on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of The Cotton Club Murder early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.

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