Will
Appearances
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Give Him The Golden
There's no way to make that not sound crazy.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Give Him The Golden
Hey, Will. Do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days? Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Give Him The Golden
Then it's a good thing our podcast, Part-Time Genius, is counting down the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Give Him The Golden
In a paper called, quote, Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans. Right. This was actually the title of the paper. They all discovered that much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces. Got it. We're talking medical miracles.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Give Him The Golden
There's no way to make that not sound crazy.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Give Him The Golden
Hey, Will. Do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days? Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Give Him The Golden
Then it's a good thing our podcast, Part-Time Genius, is counting down the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Give Him The Golden
In a paper called, quote, Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans. Right. This was actually the title of the paper. They all discovered that much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces. Got it. We're talking medical miracles.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Awkward Tuesday: I Don't Love My Boss
That's right, Mango. We're talking animals.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Awkward Tuesday: I Don't Love My Boss
That's right, Mango. We're talking animals.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Awkward Tuesday: I Don't Love My Boss
Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science, I can't keep track of it all.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Secret Mission
Then it's a good thing our podcast, Part-Time Genius, is counting down the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Secret Mission
In a paper called, quote, Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans. Right. This was actually the title of the paper. They all discovered that much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces. Got it. We're talking medical miracles.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Secret Mission
Hey, Will. Do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days? Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Secret Mission
Then it's a good thing our podcast, Part-Time Genius, is counting down the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Secret Mission
In a paper called, quote, Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans. Right. This was actually the title of the paper. They all discovered that much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces. Got it. We're talking medical miracles.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Secret Mission
There's no way to make that not sound crazy.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Secret Mission
There's no way to make that not sound crazy.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Secret Mission
Hey, Will. Do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days? Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: First Date Redate
I'm like, ah, there's so much science. I can't keep track of it all.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: First Date Redate
That's right, Mango. We're talking animals.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: First Date Redate
That's right, Mango. We're talking animals.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: First Date Redate
Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science, I can't keep track of it all.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
I can't keep track of it all.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
That's right, Mango. We're talking animals.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
I can't keep track of it all.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Red Flaggy Much?
That's right, Mango. We're talking animals.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
This place is amazing. The ship is only the beginning. There's a whole other world beyond it. One so much better than what we left. I know it hurt you to see me die.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
But we're able to come back, you see, thanks to the fact that this ship's sister still exists in your world, your time. It gives us the ability to come back, to find new people to join us in ours.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
And we're always looking for new people to join us.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
We're getting out of here tomorrow. We're going to plan and tomorrow we're getting off this damn ship. We're going to die trying.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
Alright, let's get the supply bag down to the start and get ready. This place is going to pop off when everything starts. Spencer nodded. Let's do it.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
We need to prime the quick release on the lifeboats, then do one final check to make sure they're not near us. Then we do it.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
You're right. She must have snapped off her mooring lines in the storm somewhere. It's a ghost ship adrift!
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
More than you know. But a captain's job is to keep his crew safe. To get them home. And I didn't do that for Kenny. And I'm going to have to live with that.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
And it did catch fire and sink in Hong Kong Harbor in the early 70s. But no, there's no way this could be the same one. There's no such things as ghost ships that manifest out of nothing.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
You're not going to believe this, but the ship is powered by what appears to be yarrow boilers. I haven't seen these things on a ship since I was a young man in the Navy.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
And with that, he clicked off. Well, last, Spencer began to answer him.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
That means there's got to be a set of keys somewhere on board that can get us in there. He rapped on the metal door with his knuckles. So our next job is to find them. They'll likely be in the crew's sleeping quarters. Maybe in the captain's cabin.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
That'll be a job for tomorrow.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
Well, at least people seem to agree with my idea to find the keys.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
I wasn't able to get much sleep last night. We'll move our stuff into some of the first class cabins.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
Wyatt's face fell at his words, but I saw the other two nod at me. With that, I clicked off. I said, pointing to a sign at the start of the left hallway.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
Can I tell you a secret? I'm in desperate need of medical attention and care. I'm so old, fat, I'm falling apart at the seams. But I don't know what doctor to use. I don't know anything about doctors.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
This... This is all I need to see to make up my mind. He looked over at me. We have over a week and a half's food and water left.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
I don't know how he managed to slip out without waking me, but when Vinny woke up a few minutes ago to use the bathroom, we found our cabin door unlocked and standing open. There's no sign of him anywhere.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
Not already too late, but another part thinks we should try and find any way to either stop the ship or sabotage the engines. He looked over at me. Nate, have you checked the computer to see what those people have said?
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
Especially with Will being who knows where on board.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
You've got to be fucking kidding me.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
I think it's time to start running now.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
Okay, boys, we need to find a way out of this hole and back up to the upper decks. Try and find another exit. There has to be one.
CreepCast
My Crew And I Are Stuck Aboard An Abandoned Ship | Creep Cast
End of part four. As we dive deeper down the rabbit hole into part five.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
The Blood Moon, Ivan the Terrible, and Ancient Libraries, and the Rockefellers dictating everything that is happening today, including our education and medical industry.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Awesome. Timeless. Very cool. Oh, their outfit. Yeah. In no way would I think that they're obnoxious.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
But Lily over here, yep. Quick to say it. Yes. Yep. She even said it multiple ways.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
That's what you said, Lil.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
You actually did, though.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
All right, well, they all know, the billions of people watching, they know what you said. You said, yes, this isn't even a gaslighting session. No, we were just trying to ask you a simple question.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
It's actually not because that's what you said. It's literally the opposite of gaslighting. Gaslighting is not even a real term. It's gas dousing. Yes. Yeah, we're not even lighting it. We're just dousing it.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
That doesn't even mean anything.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
You are the one that sparked it. You're the one that poured gas on yourself and lit yourself. You're the gaslighter. She's the gaslighter.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Lily's the gaslighter. She always has been, and she definitely said yes to nuns being obnoxious. Welcome to the show. I'm going to kill you.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
You'll never know. Whatever podcast was always like, did you know who built the pyramids? Not a clue.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Moving on.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
It has to be.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Speaking of presidents, though, did you see Trump hung up the Declaration of Independence in the Oval Office? Yes. First president in U.S. history.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
It's dope.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
He really wants to meet Nicolas Cage. He'll do anything. He thinks it's based on a true story. I'll do anything to meet Nick.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
No, it's cool though. I've got you, Cage. He has it hanging up behind that big thick glass thing, but he has to keep a curtain in front of it so light doesn't damage it. But he was showing the news report and he's like, It's amazing, isn't it? And he's like, Joe wouldn't do this. And he said, I bet you Joe doesn't even know what this is. It's like, dude.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Dude, what a flex, though.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
It was fully visible? Yeah, it was totality from 236, like 330 or something like that. Wow.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
It was fiercely wet. Stop. No. Okay. So I woke up. I opened the door and it is deafening quiet. Like no bugs, no cars, nothing. And I thought my ears had to pop. So I'm like going like that, you know? Yeah. And there's no wind. I'm like, what the, this is already so weird. Yeah. And I'm like looking up, I'm like, where is it? And I'm like looking and it was right there. I literally go.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Cause it was, you actually flinched. Oh yeah. Cause it was quiet. I'm just like, cause it was so dark too. I'm like, where is it? And I saw it jumped and it was so red and the dogs went out with me and they were afraid. They didn't leave my side and they just were like on alert. Interesting. And I laid there for like, I don't know, four minutes or something. And I'm like, All right.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
And it's brought to you and powered by Sunday Cool. Watch this.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Well, I don't know what else there is.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
That's like from Apocalypto. Remember when the solar eclipse happened? Yeah. And they're all like, and it got really quiet too. So scary.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
No, she did it for PM, not AM.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Just a filter.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Speaking of moons, you guys see that Tic Tac UFO on Mars? No. What? You have a video of it? Photo? The photo. Yeah. You have it on your iPhone? Just zoomed in. It was from the Mars rover. I think this past week or two weeks, whatever month. And they, it was a picture of this landscape and stuff. And it clearly looks like, Like the tic-tac-toe. I did see this.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
And they ran it through the AI generator to see if it's real or not. Oh, my gosh. And it said less than 1% AI involved. So it's real. Yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Isn't that crazy? You can see the shadow.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Actually, I do have a video of it. Not of the thing, but of them on Mars. Put on me a layer.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Almost 10 months. Dude. He said that the Biden administration refused to go get them.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
He was interviewed, and he's like, SpaceX offered, and it was like three months in or something, and through some political motivation, whatever, they chose not to use SpaceX.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah. You know how crappy you'd feel too? Like being in zero gravity for almost a year. Losing a third of your bone density.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Not being stuck? Yeah. I'd panic.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Sputnik?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah. Look at that. That looks exactly like the satellite from Three Body Problem. Yeah. That's so creepy looking.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Habitable.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
I didn't actually see it, no.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Wait, they say dolphins are like some of the most intelligent animals, right? Yeah. What if they know of stories from their ancestors of capsules coming from the sky and they come to meet them? Because they say dolphins are aliens. Yeah, that'd be interesting. That'd be a fun shirt. Uncle Phil's back! Should we call that, should that be our Patreon episode names? Dolphins or Aliens?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
All right. Dolphins are aliens. That's our Patreon extra episode name. Dig it.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Um... You guys really put me on the spot here. Build another wall. We need an answer. We need an answer. Yeah, let's build a wall in between the United States and Canada. Okay. But it's like a really fun wall. It's like a climbing wall. Yes. So you don't need a passport. You just need to climb the wall, and you're like, yeah, it's cool. And make an obstacle course or something.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah, like the Ninja Warrior.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Or can leave. So that entices you to get in shape if you want to travel abroad.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Speaking of borders, though... Tell me about it. I saw this video of... So it said, China has entered the era of dark factory. Who has? China. What is that? Okay, dark factory. It's a fully automated factories with no workers and no lights.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
And the factories run 24-7 in the dark.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Those are robots.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Isn't that crazy, though? It's super creepy. Yeah, I don't like that, man. It's very Matrix feeling.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Levio corpse. Or something like that. Ridiculous.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
It's literally like the Black Mirror show. Yes. Where it's like this dystopian future, but everyone's lives are still kind of terrible.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah, I do. With a gasoline bike.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah. You know what's not the best? What? That in Serbia that protests Oh, my goodness. What's going on? All right.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
I don't know. I just saw something like 15 people died in something.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Okay. So they're out there protesting. It was a peaceful protest. Thousands and thousands of people. And they were silent. Dead silent. There's thousands of people standing in the streets just silent.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
And then all of a sudden you see, like, it's the eeriest video. And I couldn't find it. But, like, it was, like, one person, like, turned around. And then there were a couple more turned around. And then all of a sudden you hear, like, a... And then people, like... Started running away.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
They're using a sonic weapon. Yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Because remember we talked about the frequency weapons? Yep. I mean, that seems like what it is.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
It's the Cuban Missile thing. Remember the Havana Syndrome? No. The frequency thing? No.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
We're talking about this basically secret weapon that Russia's been developing, that the U.S. has been developing as well, using frequencies to basically cause like... Fight or flight or something? No, it's like it causes something in your brain to like freak out basically.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
But what a perfect place to test it, too, you know? Oh, my gosh. Yeah, for real. You're going to test this weapon system of, like, dispersing crowds. Yeah. Especially in silence. Yeah. It's like, turn that on. Let's see if they can hear it. Yeah. One. And you're not hurting them.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Speaking of math, though, the telepathy tapes I was telling Andy earlier. We're just going to talk about telepathy tapes every episode.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Well, what's so creepy is that movie that came out like a year ago that the Obamas produced.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah, that whole frequency thing where it came through the radio or just in the sky?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Falling out and bleeding the nose and all that weird stuff. It's like they predicted a lot of stuff that's pretty accurate.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
No, but there's one where they say that a lot of these kids, non-speaking autistic kids, have called I think it's savant syndrome yeah where basically like you're a genius yeah in a subject in a subject yeah and they were talking about this one I think he's a grown adult now but insane at mathematics and he holds the record for um doing pi you know 3.14 oh my gosh He did it 22,000 numbers.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Go into it knowing that there's a very deep meaning to it. Yeah. And it's not going to leave you feeling great. No. But it's a great lesson. It's definitely not exciting either. No.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
I know that's a terrible show because the attention span, it's like every frame is like 1.5 seconds or something.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
No, but I think we've talked about it before. We noticed when Ada, when she watches certain stuff, her personality changes. Yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
No, he's just saying it. He's like five, five, five, eight, nine, three, eight.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
I mean, maybe they won't, but you really focus on the one scenario of the show.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Anyways, speaking of education. Yeah. I want to talk about the Rockefellers and their manipulation of the education system. Why we're right now.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
I remember like the 2009, 2010 with like Julian Smith. Oh, dude. Julian Smith. The Malk. Right.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Take them to, um, what is it called? Medieval times. We haven't changed. We haven't changed at all, bud. Who'd you take? Who would I take? Just some peasant. Some peasant. Let him be a king for a day. What am I going to show him though? Medieval times and then show him something from his time. I don't know. Just like a flashlight. You guys have candles. We have flashlights now. It's so boring.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
We talked about it before. It's not the Knights of the Round Table, but it's the baseball kid that goes back to the medieval times. It was a Disney movie. No, I can't remember that one. But he has a cassette tape and stuff, and he shows the king and stuff, and they're like, what? Yeah. You remember The Black Knight? Yeah. With Martin Lawrence? Oh, yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
It's so dumb. Yeah. You could also do like the Kennedy Space Center or something.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Can you turn my heads down just a little bit?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Bring them to a Spirulix concert.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Ooh, nice. Just ice, probably.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Speaking of tunnels, they are building a, it's like the world's largest underwater tunnel from like Germany to Denmark, I think. Really? And it goes under the ocean.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
people i would use it also i still don't get how they're made how do you make a tunnel underwater dude they kind of showed the process and it's crazy they basically just have these giant slabs that they like sink underwater and then they build around it and it's like but how do you
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Oh, you're talking about my Bob Marley impression?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Pie of choice?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
yeah so this tunnel will connect to denmark and then which will lead in another tunnel that goes into sweden wow six feet in they they build it in the air so the air can get inside and then they trap the air yeah that's how they keep the air in there it's just like a clown balloon yeah that you're trapped inside yeah it's going under the baltic sea wow total length is 59 000 feet 18 kilometer wide
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah, from London or from England to France. Yeah. That one you ride a train through.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Let's talk about Costa Rica again.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yo, Adrian, here's what that'd be.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Very good. You ready, Elo?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
All right. Three, two, one. Oh, it says it may be sensitive.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Why do we have bags? What's in there? Why do we have bags? What's in there? Oh.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah, that was awful. Yep. Did not like that. Yeah, I crooked the other day at Ada's party. He's like, do you have a black eye?
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
He's like, you look like you have a... I'm like, I'm just tired. You just look like crap, man. He's like, oh, okay.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah, that's true. Just like the hunchback of the newspapers.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Also a dead body driver, an optometrist. Optician. Optician. A waiter. I worked cattle for a while. So would you say that you did some of your jobs you were in no way qualified for?
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Um, speaking of doing jobs that you shouldn't be doing. Yeah. Let's talk about the Rockefellers.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
But they're friends. Yes. Got it. Okay. Cause they're all the elites. Rockefellers were like one of the most wealthy, probably the wealthiest family, one of the wealthiest families in the United States and worldwide. Yeah. Still, uh, No, I mean, they still have an exuberant amount of wealth. I was going to say, I didn't know what they're doing now.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
But they were, this was the early 1900s, the late 1800s, early 1900s. They were, like, the ones that controlled all of oil in the United States. Like, they owned the oil industry. And they were friends with the, like, the Vanderbilts, J.P. Morgan. What's his name? Carnegie. It was Carnegie Steel. Okay. So he owned all steel. For his haul. Yeah.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah, so it was basically like Rockefellers were oil, Vanderbilt were railroads, owned the railroad industry, and then Carnegie owned the steel industry. Got it. So like these three powerhouse families. Yeah. But, so it was... The Rockefellers who just out of pure greed have affected our medical industry for today. Oh, man. And our educational industry. And this isn't new news.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
This is it's pretty like if you go back, you can see how they manipulate everything. But it is depressing. Oh, no. Incredibly depressing. So, basically, Mr. Rockefeller, he was number one in the U.S. for oil. Like, he was so rich. Yeah. And he just wanted to extend his portfolio and gain more control. Yeah.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
So, he's like, oh, there's this new technology happening where they're making, like, synthetic medication out of, what do you call it, petroleum. Petroleum? Yeah.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
And he's like, I want to get into that because they're using my oil to make these medications. And so he got with the Carnegie's and they passed this thing. It was the Flexner report. And what was it?
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
1910, funded by the Carnegie Foundation, the report authored by Abraham Flexner evaluated medical education in the US and Canada, heavily criticizing school teachings, natural and alternative medicine.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
so before that the medical industry in the united states was very holistic very plant-based medication natural stuff and this new invention of synthetic medication came about and rockefeller's like we can own the industry in this and so he heavily funded all these medical schools all these hospitals like john hopkins harvard medical school yale school of medicine
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
But threatened to take away his funding if they did not teach the practice of using the synthetic medicine that his companies owned and invested in. Wow. And if you spoke out against it, you could lose your doctor's license. Your medical school could be shut down. Your practice could be shut down. So you had to abide by what the Rockefellers put in place for medical standards.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah. Golly, man.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Still exist for sure.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
But they were the largest investor in this pharmaceutical company called Waith, I believe, W-Y-E-T-H, Waith, which ultimately became Pfizer.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah. Same company? Yeah. Really? But it's just, it's like sickening of just like... Yeah. They're literally the ones of why we have all this drug company. They create a big pharma, basically.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
But I was going to say with the Rockefellers, too, with their educational system.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
What are they doing with that?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Uh, no, that's, um, that is, uh, Glean Maxwell. Oh, that's Tim McGraw.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
No, no, they're not. Um, But yeah, so the role of General Education Board, 1902, was heavily financed by the Rockefellers. And through lobbying and stuff, the Rockefellers basically pitched this new educational system that we still use today. So, yeah.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Mine was... Do cops... How do they... Okay, so I was driving 441, going the speed limit, and the car in front of me was slowing down like a lot. So I'm getting into the left lane... I'm merging over, and this cop comes flying up. He had been going 80 miles an hour. I'm like, oh, gosh. So I pull over. Gets right behind me. Oh, no. Flips the lights on. I'm like, what?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
And so it says they deliberately pushed education toward vocational training, memorization, standardized testing and compliance over independent thought, creativity and questioning authority.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
They were adamantly against. So it says that they're adamantly against alternative education models such as homeschooling, private independent schools or holistic and classical education approaches. And basically they would fund the board. They would fund these colleges to teach the standardized education.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
method and they're it's so creepy if like if you go down the rabbit hole the whole mindset behind this is to create a a um very predictable society to where they could buy your products they would be good industrial workers yeah workers and like it was they're just you're creating it's like a sheep herd
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah. It also says that their whole point of the school is to stop creating entrepreneurs. Like they wanted to own the industry. They wanted to own the economy of the United States. Yeah, of course they do. And so the school system that we're creating is just to make workers work.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
It's so creepy. If you just look at, you can go to any history book and just see these families, Vanderbilts, Rockefellers, the Rothschilds in Europe, JP Morgan, all of them have just like, it was just 10 families were controlling everything in the world and probably still are today. Maybe the family's changed a little bit.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
I did my turn signal and everything. Yeah. Pull off, stop, and he was just like, boom, no business. He's like, your registration's expired. I'm like, that's impossible. I'm like, I got it in October. He's like, well, it expired in 2023. I'm like, what? What?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
But it's like the wealth stays with these families, and they are the ones controlling economies, controlling this and that, controlling our education system, controlling our health care system. It's so freaky to think about.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah. I mean, just like even their involvement in wars too, like major, pretty much every major war as has one of, or all of these families involved in them. Weird. Right. It's so weird.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
I think we talked about the Rothschilds of how they were, when Napoleon was basically conquering Europe, they were funding both Napoleon and England. Yeah. And they're just playing their hand of who's going to win. And then they discovered that, oh, Napoleon is probably going to lose. So we're going to pull our funding so we know that he's going to lose. And it's just like, this is insane.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
I mean, I know we've mentioned it many times, but the love of money is the root of all evil. It's like... All kinds of evil. Okay. Yeah. All kinds of evil. And it's like pride, greed, anger, violence. It's just like the love of money. You're going to destroy everything because you love money.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah. Money itself is not evil, but it's the love of it and the obsession of it that drives people to a realm that they should not go to.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
That is weird. There's never enough.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
It's the dragon sickness.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
What is that?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
No, but for real, sure enough, it had been expired since 2023. That's wild. Who'd you pay in October? Well, I figured it out. I just associated getting the tag for my blue truck. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for the Ford. Not getting both of them. Yeah. I'm like, oh, my gosh. But, yeah, I got a ticket. He said, next time this happens, you're going to jail. I said, okay.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
It's basically like you get obsessed with gold and it's never enough. Oh, yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
The dragon sickness. Dragon. Speaking of dragon sickness, Ivan the Terrible.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
You ever heard of him? I've heard of him. Ivan the Terrible.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
So Ivan the Terrible was the first czar of Russia. What is a czar? Like the royalty, like the king of Russia. Okay. He was the first one. So before that, there was like different clans and stuff, and there was leadership, but he was named officially the first royal czar of Russia. What year was that? 1500s. Okay. 1547 to 1584 he reigned. Wow.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
But he built like the St. Basil Cathedral, you know, the Russian thing that has all like the colorful thing. That was built all the way back then? Yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Dude, I'll tell you, Russia, the history of Russia is absolutely fascinating. Yeah, that's got to be. It goes so deep. But he was also the... The defender of the Tartar invasions. Tartaria, you know?
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Which include Crimea, Siberia, and Mongolia. So he defended from them and stuff. Crimea kicked their butt. It's the only thing. He also created Russia's first secret police, nicknamed the Children of Darkness.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
The first police were called the Children of Darkness? Secret police. And it was more like a secret police army of 6,000 men that had free reign to do whatever they wanted. The Children of Darkness. Children of Darkness was their nickname.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
They could go into a house. They could burn your house, kill you, do whatever. If they were like, you spoke bad about the Tsar. They'd be like, yes, we're going to kill you. Take everything you have.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Oh, really? So it was free reign. It was defending the throne. Golly. Yeah. So if you spoke bad about Russia or the family, Ivan's family, they could do whatever. Ivan's terrible. What? Some would say. But also at this time, I think before that, it wasn't called Russia. It was called Muscovy or the Grand Duchy of Moscow.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Apparently, there's a lot of secret libraries. But this library supposedly was created by his grandfather, Ivan III. So Ivan is Ivan IV. And Ivan III, his grandfather, created this library with a few books. And then Ivan the Terrible collected more, but it was very secretive. And they don't know where it is today. They've never found it, supposedly. It's got to be underground.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Well, they think it's probably... It's a prophetic book. Where is it? Under the Kremlin, which is like the White House of Russia. But supposedly it contains ancient Greek, Roman, and Egyptian manuscripts, occult and esoteric texts, and texts allegedly from Atlantis. Oh! Yeah, bro. And when I first heard about it, I'm like, okay, this seems like another conspiracy.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Like, oh, do you know there's a secret library from Ivan the Terrible? But there's some credibility to it because since the 1600s, Basically, anyone that has been ruling over Russia, the government, treasure hunters, all this stuff, they've been looking for this library. Yeah. Even the Vatican, every time they sent officials from the Vatican to Russia, they've been in search for this lost library.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
There was this, the evidence was the Orthodox priest at the time of Ivan the Terrible, who was like Ivan the Terrible's mentor, priest, whatever. He had seen this library and there was a, I believe it was the Pope at that time that came to visit the Orthodox priest. I think they call him priest. I'm not sure.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
But he showed him the library, and so it's a biography of them talking about this library, seeing it. But it was very secretive. And so to this day, no one knows where it is. Some speculate that it's in the wilderness in Siberia, something that's under the Kremlin. But either way, no one has found it.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Putin, we know you're watching. Please come on the pod. If he does know... Like, what secrets are in there? Yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
It took him two seconds to get out of the car and tell me that it was expired because he said I looked it up as well. And so I'm like, do they have like a camera on the front of their car to like see license plates? Because there's no way you can see a sticker from that far away.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Atlantis.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
But I thought about... Because they mentioned... Tartar, right? Yeah. So he did conquer parts of Siberia and stuff that was part of the Tartar region. And those conspiracy theories about Tartaria and all that stuff of like this ancient knowledge they had of like technology and whatever. This was the flag that was created.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
I believe shortly after Ivan the Terrible died, that's the first Russian flag, which the icon for Tartar or the flag was the dragon. Yeah. I know we've talked about it, but the king, the czar, stabbing the dragon. What's the symbolism there? What do they say that means? They've got to have an excuse for it. I think it's just like over evil. I'm not sure. But a dragon? Yeah. Yeah. Come on.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
But I mean, it's like, could he have gotten some, if Tartaria is a real thing, which I don't know. I mean, it was a real thing, but like as grand.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Yeah. Yeah. Was it this big futuristic? Could he have collected stuff from that or possibly moved his library into Siberia to add to his collection of this whatever? I don't know, but I thought that was fascinating. No, dude. Ancient libraries, man.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Well, they believe that a lot of the manuscripts and stuff from the, not a lot, a good handful from the Library of Alexandria and the Library of Constantinople Constantinople. Constantinople. Yeah. Yeah. Are in his library. Wow. Because Ivan III married like the princess or something from Constantinople. Constantinople. Constantinople. Constantinople. Yeah.
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135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
And supposedly she brought over books from the library because that was burnt down and stuff. Mm-hmm. And that's what he started the library of like these ancient texts and whatnot. Do you think we have one in the U.S.? The secret library? Yeah. Well, there's the, what do you call it? The president, was it the president's book or the?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Well, what if it was found by the Vatican and they took it back to their thing? They've got a massive library. Yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Oh, yeah. They were like the leaders. They were basically God back then.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
yeah man very very interesting I want to dive in there so bad even the terrible even speaking of terrible he was oh but his how he killed his son yeah I saw it that was a terrible story I don't know the story okay it's brutal it was like this People are getting mad at Ivan the Terrible because he was in this war that was lasting 24 years. They weren't winning it.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
And so these commanders are like, we want someone new in power. And they suggested someone, but he thought they suggested his son and he did not like that. And so before his son was back in Moscow, he encountered his wife and basically beat the crap out of her. and she had a miscarriage because of it. Oh, no.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
So Ivan the Terrible's son went and confronted him about it, and then Ivan the Terrible took his staff and just started whacking him on the head and then killed him. And then as soon as he did that, he was holding his head like that painting, says, my God, what have I done? Yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Anyways, I was a terrible.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Not so great.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
They said he used to torture animals when he was a child, too. Oh, no. Oh, that's a good sign. Yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Anyways, that's my Ivan the Terrible. That's so scary. Next week, I'll talk about another secret library. Really?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
That's awesome. Speaking of reviews, though.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
And the scariest thing in the news that we've seen this week, the man in the room.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Make sure to subscribe to our YouTube. Give a thumbs up. Review us on Spotify, Apple.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
We love you guys so much. And you're commenting. Where would you bring someone from medieval? Uh, what is it? Middle ages, middle ages.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Oh, wait, let's do this. Yeah. You gotta do a different face.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Cheap, cheap fries, cheap drink every time. McDonald's app. Dude, please. We should make jingles, dude.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Anyway, why is it suspended? Well,
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Oh yeah. Running tolls.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
i know well he hasn't we didn't do anything about it what does that mean did you go to prison we gotta delete we literally have to delete that oh really that's a felony a felony no no no no it's they dodging jury duty it's that no i didn't get i didn't get jury duty it was all like i was on the list so they're gonna call or whatever if i did get on gotcha oh i didn't know that was yeah i thought she was just admitting you dodged hey do you want a song
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Felony.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
They were getting back in.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Do you know what's not part of the song? What? This question. Oh.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Please, get this right, Will, please. Are nuns obnoxious?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Again, sent in by a viewer. They're just asking, are nuns obnoxious?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
Why would you say nuns are obnoxious?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
135 - Rockefeller Conspiracy, Russian Ancient Library, & Sonic Weapons
You just... You said yes. You just said yes!
Ninjas Are Butterflies
126 - Idols in the Vatican, Haitian Voodoo, and Weather Control
Dein Leben, Richard? Was ist mit meinem Leben? Ich hätte ein Tänzer sein sollen. Ich hätte die Welt gesehen, aber ich bin in einem unendlichen Zyklus von Herzschlag. Zu einem Mörder. Was hast du mich genannt? Ich glaube nicht, dass ich nicht weiß, was du mit dem Pool-Jungen Diego gemacht hast. Ich habe das gemacht, was ich musste. Hörst du mich? Gut. Okay, du gewinnst.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
126 - Idols in the Vatican, Haitian Voodoo, and Weather Control
Aber ich mache, was ich tun muss. Und ich erzähle. Ich erzähle es allen. I'll tell everyone to go to SundayCool.com to stop ordering today. And who's going to believe you? I can't keep living like this, Richard. I need something more. I need to leave. Don't you dare walk out on me. Oh, what? Or this. Diego, I thought you were... Richard, no!
Ninjas Are Butterflies
126 - Idols in the Vatican, Haitian Voodoo, and Weather Control
Why? Why? Should have gone to sundaycool.com
Ninjas Are Butterflies
126 - Idols in the Vatican, Haitian Voodoo, and Weather Control
Nein, nein, nein.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
126 - Idols in the Vatican, Haitian Voodoo, and Weather Control
Schau, wer aufhört zu zeigen.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
126 - Idols in the Vatican, Haitian Voodoo, and Weather Control
Ja. Ich dachte auch. Bis ich das gefunden habe. Wo? Wo hast du das gefunden? Du weißt gut und gut, wo ich es gefunden habe. Wo du alle deine anderen Geräte versteckst. Du bist durch meine Dinge gegangen. Was für eine Wahl hatte ich, Richard? Du lügst mir! Hatten, Sticker, Rippenbänder, alle Art von Promo-Items. Von wo? Sunday Cool, was auch immer das heißt. Ich meine, was soll ich denken?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
124 - Mr. Beast's Evil Plan, Quantum Computers, & The Vegas Cyber Truck
I always skip the song because it's so cringe.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
124 - Mr. Beast's Evil Plan, Quantum Computers, & The Vegas Cyber Truck
Right, Andy? Yep.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
124 - Mr. Beast's Evil Plan, Quantum Computers, & The Vegas Cyber Truck
I'm the alpha.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
124 - Mr. Beast's Evil Plan, Quantum Computers, & The Vegas Cyber Truck
I don't know, Andy. I'm just feeling mentally poor.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
124 - Mr. Beast's Evil Plan, Quantum Computers, & The Vegas Cyber Truck
I don't know.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
124 - Mr. Beast's Evil Plan, Quantum Computers, & The Vegas Cyber Truck
That's not what it is at all. Well, that's the point.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
124 - Mr. Beast's Evil Plan, Quantum Computers, & The Vegas Cyber Truck
I like the sound of that. All right.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
124 - Mr. Beast's Evil Plan, Quantum Computers, & The Vegas Cyber Truck
Beta baby.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
124 - Mr. Beast's Evil Plan, Quantum Computers, & The Vegas Cyber Truck
Alpha. Alphas.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
124 - Mr. Beast's Evil Plan, Quantum Computers, & The Vegas Cyber Truck
It's pretty great.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah. And so we'll start off with a tie. So your dad can teach you how to tie a tie. You know, that's a pretty... That's incredible.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Mhm. This isn't the one we had in the prop closet, right? No, it's not. Keep going. Okay, alright. Yeah. That's great. I like pink, blue spots. Das ist ein Rutsch, damit mein Vater ihn lernen kann, wie er ein Auto fixieren kann. Und so, dass er mit dem Haus arbeiten kann und Dinge fixieren kann. Rutsch, du meinst Kleidung? Ja. Ja, okay. Das ist ein Rutsch. Das ist ein Rutsch. Das ist ein Rutsch.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Das ist ein Rutsch. Das ist ein Rutsch. Das ist ein Rutsch.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Es ist auch Juniorsize. Ja, ich spiele mit meinem Vater. Ich spiele mit meinem Vater. Ja, das ist großartig. Und dann kannst du dich über Mädchen beibringen. Weißt du? Du kannst dich über Mädchen beibringen und all das kommt mit dazu.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Wow, das ist unglaublich. Das ganze Paket. Das ist großartig.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Dein Vater kann dich immer erinnern, dich für die Sterne zu schießen. Star Crunch. Danke so viel. Das ist so schön, Leute.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Keine Ahnung. Ja. Versteck dich nicht, bitte. Was meinst du, versteck dich nicht? But we pulled some money together and we actually hired a private investigator to go find your dad. No way. And I got a message from the private investigator today. Okay. I actually don't know his name. I just know him by private investigator. Okay. So I told him I was going to call him. He's got info? Yeah. Hello?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Hello? Hello? Das ist der private Investigator, den ich verabschiedet habe? Das ist Josh.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Hey, kannst du mich noch einmal deinen Namen erinnern?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Danny Dingalong. Oh. Hey, so... Yeah, we hired you like a couple months back to track down my friend Andy Danoon's father. Is there... Have you... Have you found him? Or do you know anything about him?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
10 Jahre.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah. Yeah. I don't really remember this.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
You're kidding.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Oh, okay.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Hold on. There's no way.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
John Wayne.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
That cannot be right. Are you sure? The guy that killed a bunch of kids.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Das ist unglaublich. Für 30 Sekunden?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Ist da noch andere Informationen, die du kennst? Privatbewerber?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Dingalong?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Ding-a-ling.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Very cool.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Are you asking my name? Danny Dingalong? No, no, no. Danny, Danny, Danny. Are the results that Andy's father is John Wayne Gacy, is that from DNA or did you just guess? How does that connection, how did that happen?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Es gibt eigentlich viele große Unternehmen, wie 23andMe und Ancestry.com, die sich primär auf den DNA-Verkauf konzentrieren.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Alright. Alright. I don't like this guy's attitude.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Okay.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
That's fascinating. That's a good point. Well, Detective, was it Dingle? Dingling. Double Ds. Danny Dingling, PI. Danny Dingling, PI. Hey, we... I don't know. I mean, thank you, I guess.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Hey, thanks, Danny. Danny P.I.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Okay. All right. Where can we find you?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Thanks, Danny PI, Dingaling.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Alright, see you, sir. Officer. Detective. Bye. That was insane, dude. Wow. You met with this guy beforehand?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
It was through an ad.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
It was through AIM. Wow, that was a lot, dude. That was a good revelation. John Wayne Gacy.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
What? What is on that?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Enough with the silly stuff. Let's get into it.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
At your wedding day. Yeah, it's great. Okay, feels weird. Feels very pretty. That one sucks. While he was feeding you, he just snipped off your beard. How's my beard? Yeah, it's good. Very good. Yo, so a lot of crazy stuff is happening.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Okay. One, it's just weird, right? Because we have a Black Hawk helicopter.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Terrible. In the night. I saw this one video regarding the whole situation. And this is what I want to be really careful of. Of just like... Well, let me preface this. I watched this docu-series on HBO. It's like The Curious Case or something. Yeah. Sie haben einen über Bam Margera gemacht. Ja, mit den Füßen. Ja, ja. Aber da ist eine Frau da, die einen YouTube-Kanal hat.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Und sie nimmt Sachen und macht alles eine Verschwörung, aber zu der Bedeutung der Lebensqualität der Menschen. Ja. Und ihrer mentalen Sanität. Ja. always want to avoid that. Not everything is a conspiracy. Or is it? Maybe that alone is a conspiracy.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Ja. In Washington, D.C. War es das erste in 16 Jahren, dass ein Flieger so ein Flieger in den USA ist?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Ja, ich weiß nicht. Was war das? War es du? Ja, vielleicht. Yeah, I thought it was. But I saw this video and at this, you know, like the weapons manufacturers like Lockheed, all this stuff, how they do those conferences and whatnot. Apparently at this one conference, they're talking about doing automated or remote flying, the ability to remote fly Black Hawk helicopters.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Ja, und sie haben spezifisch erwähnt, dass sie es von, war es Cincinnati oder so, nach Washington D.C. und zurückfliegen.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah. And there were pilots on the Black Hawk helicopter. It just made me wonder, because you're not really hearing the radio come out. By the time this comes out, we might know more. This is a week before this comes out. But it's just curious of just like, could something have happened?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
It's crazy.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
The drones.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah. So they're like, oh yeah, it was FAA research.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
And it's like... Nein, nein, nein, das kann nicht sein. Ja, wenn es ist, ist es etwas viel sinnigerer. Es muss sein. Ja, weil sogar die lokalen Autoritäten und so in diesen Städten in New Jersey, sie sind verrückt darüber. Ja, sie sind so, dass du uns nicht wissen lässt. Und nicht eine Person. Es war in unserer Stadt. Du lässt uns nicht wissen.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Five or six. Welcome to the Five Timers Club. The last time you were on is our third most popular podcast on Spotify. Really? Yeah, behind Sam Tripoli and Hardy. Whoa.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Like, that's crazy.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
It's I mean, if you think about it, she about it, dude, if you think about it, that made me so mad when I heard that. I'm just like, so as soon as Trump becomes president, he's like, they're asking, hey, where are the drones? He's like, oh, he's like, let's find that out immediately. Next day is like, it was just FAA research. Um, what is specified was not the enemy. That's it.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
And that's never happened before.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
It's so weird. Another weird thing that happened though. And... Ich nenne es eine Überraschung oder eine Überraschung. Ich bin mir nicht sicher.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Das ist etwas, was ich einfach seltsam fand. Letztens sprach Trump am Weltökonomischen Forum. Und er wurde auf der TV vorgelegt. Also er hat das Gespräch gegeben. Und er spricht im Grunde darum, was er tun wird. Ja. But behind him was the United States coat of arms. The seal. Yeah. And the eagle on the back, typically the eagle, so you know it's holding the olive branches and the arrows. Yeah.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
And the eagle's head is always facing the olive branches as a sign of Peace.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
And the coat of arms behind Trump, while he's talking to the World Economic Forum, the eagle was facing the arrows. And that has not changed since 1945. Really? Das kann nicht sein, Alter. Das kann nicht sein, Alter. Das ist sehr intensiv. Es ist ein Easter Egg, das wahrscheinlich ein Weltende ist.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah, I don't think people really realized it though. No, and it's super crazy, but it's significant. It's such a small thing, but it's so significant. It's all symbolism. It's like the president literally changed it. He's like, have it face towards the olive branches. And also it's like, nope, other way.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah, I want to actually read the full JFK and MLK files.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
I've seen people talking about it on the MLK stuff. And I've actually heard stuff about MLK before, that stuff that's not very good. I want to go into that a little bit, like the real history of it. So we'll do research on that. I'm scared though. I am too, because it kind of ruins your paradigm. It ruins my whole childhood as far as like just viewing.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
We get that, don't go anywhere.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Riddled with the flu. Today is technically my second day back. Andrew's first day back. Now my daughter has it. Actually, I think both my daughters have it.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Ich habe Gehirnfeuer gehabt. Es war fettig, oder?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
It smells like what's the matter dog in here. What's the matter dog? I'll tell you what's the matter. Magicmind.com forward slash ninja. Yes. Ninja 20 to get 20% off your... 10 days your... 30 days subscription. 50% off your... It's not 10 days?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Thanks, Magic Mind. Thank you, Magic Mind. Sorry about that. Apologies. We do love you. We should have taken the Magic Mind before to promote Magic Mind, because then our brain fog would have been dissipated. Dissipate it?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Oh, I can't get back on it. 24 day streak, baby.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Manzana.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Ja, es ist eine lustige Sprache. Irisch wäre so lustig, weil es so witzig ist. Es ist so witzig.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Es ist so witzig.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Wie eine Stadt oder so etwas?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Du, du, du. Nein, ich glaube, es war 102,4. Aber ich glaube, viele Leute, die ganze Nation ist mit dem selben Flu.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Und diese Jungs, die großartig am Überleben sind, können da für den Rest ihres Lebens leben. Sie gehen verrückt, weil sie alleine sind. Ja. Also glaube ich nicht, dass ich das machen kann.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Also ich war, als ich in Montana lebte, war es wie ein Dreijähriges. Ja. Wo ich ziemlich allein war, wie in einem Kabinett.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Ja. Aber wenn ich Leute anrufen konnte, würde ich es nicht können. Ja. Und das war drei Monate. Ja. Ja.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
No, because I was in the middle of nowhere. So like I would like go to church like on Sunday, like I have to drive like an hour into the near city. And that was about it. Yeah. But I would probably just choose like a where there's people around. At least you can like who I'm super introverted. Yeah, but at least I wouldn't feel like I'm going crazy.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah, he did his own camping trip.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
No, I mean, it was just the last video that he uploaded. His son, who's, I think, 12?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
100% baby. 110% if it's possible. I saw like for, like it was a town in Texas and this town has 3,000 kids in it, right? Yeah. And whenever this, it was two days ago, over 600 kids called out of school.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Oh, was ist Google?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
the like steak guy oh no that was a while ago was it a while ago yeah yeah it just came through my feed yeah dang i thought you're talking about the guggen squad dude fishing people are good good lures he did he did have a video it was a couple months ago to where he's totally burnt out on doing the videos he did like his like uh no sleeping bag no tent camping thing in the snow and he's like i'm gonna stay out here three days whatever and it was like day two he's like
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
He's like, yeah, I'm done. He's like, I'm just gonna go home. He's like, I'm gonna just start uploading like every other Saturday. He's like, I kind of miss just hanging out with my family. He's like, I got too caught up in making these videos for you guys and I don't really want to do it. No! That's so sad. I was like, yeah, do whatever you gotta do, man. Yeah. I love that dude. He's baller.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah. I don't know percentages, but that seems like a lot. Almost a third. That's awesome. Kind of. No.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Panicked. Oh no. And tapped out. Oh no. He said, I can't find it. He's like, I can't make it out here without the flint. And he's like, I gotta go.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
I would be like... One of the craziest ones was this dude that killed a full moose. So he had plenty of food, right? He's the man. He ended up
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
starving because there's no fat it was just lean meat and so he just kept on getting skinnier and skinnier yeah but he won and it was dude when he caught that moose but he was at the same one where the girl had was forced to tap out because she had frostbite on her toes she wasn't gonna tap out and they looked at her toes like you had to tap out yeah i can't remember i do want to watch all those seasons her toes are just black dude they're they're not gonna let you die
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Thank you so much for being here. Do you want a song? Yeah, I do.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
What are you thinking, pal?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
First of all, is his mustache gone?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Das ist okay. Ist das das Ballon?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
What? What? The one thing after the song.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Explain the balloon thing.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
I forgot to look up. Then we will... Cross that bridge.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
I'm choosing to believe it's not real. I believe it is. But let's just say this is weird. Okay. So recently, what's the thing called? Is it 4chan?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Kindlich.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Offensichtlich gibt es diesen Whistleblower, der vor ein paar Wochen auf 4chan gegangen ist. Und er sagt, ich glaube, das war 2023 oder 2022. Sie haben in diesem Kaisen in Antarktika, dieses Eier-formierte, UFO-sehende Ding gefunden. Das ist das, was wir vor einer Woche gesprochen haben. Ja. was the whistleblower, you probably haven't watched the episode because it came out today.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
I think I still have a fever.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
But there's this whistleblower that came out recently, Green Beret, not Green Beret, he worked for the military, but he was part of the, what do you call it? I forget the word every single time. The retrieval program. Retrieval program for UFOs and stuff. So he's a whistleblower now. But they had a video of one of their retrievals was an egg-shaped UFO.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
And apparently after this came out, it gave this one guy the courage to disclose the stuff that they found in Antarctica, supposedly, of this same egg-shaped UFO that they found in Antarctica. Did I just go in a full circle? No, you're good. You're fine. You're fine. Sorry. The flu brain is... Where are we? Okay.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what's also strange is that same episode, I believe, we talked about the hieroglyphics that a lot of people reported seeing on these UFOs. Same thing happened with this UFO. Let me send you guys the pictures. Where there's really weird hieroglyphics all over it. Also, there's like a weird catacomb or like a coffin. What do you call them? Sarcophagus.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
It looked like a marble sarcophagus. Very similar to the one that we talked about in Russia, where that lady was in. What was that called? I can't remember.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Du kannst die Schriften und so drauf sehen. Einige von ihnen sehen fast aus wie Hebräisch. Wie das eine, wenn du auf Nummer 5 schaust, siehst du das erste Bild Nummer 5? Ja, das sieht so aus wie das Lied in Hebräisch. Ich denke, wir sehen. That one. Yeah. Kind of looks like Florida.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Why is your face melting? What?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Super weird, but apparently this is where, because then you get stories like this and it's like, okay, well, is there credibility to it? Because apparently, I don't know if it was part of the same thread, but there was, they said, they're calling him an alien, but he looked like a tall, nordic looking man very pale pale skin long blonde hair seven eight feet tall was in that sarcophagus woke up
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
and was conversing with them. And supposedly there's an interview. I saw that today. It doesn't really sound real, to be honest.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
We surely would have heard about this. But yeah, I mean, you can see with the pictures, it's like... You said it's like 20 feet, right?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah, well, I don't know about this one, but the one that the guy collected, that was 20 feet long. That's crazy, man. But I'm like, if that's... I don't know, man. It's just like, if that's... If it's legit...
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Melania, was machst du hier?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
And so this one guy, they have the video, whether it's true or not, I think it is because the guy said it's real because he was in the helicopter, says they picked it up, egg-shaped, 20 feet long, and then this thing with Antarctica, this egg-shaped with inscriptions that look like hieroglyphics on it. It's just like, it's really weird.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Either a lot of the stuff is coming out now and it's all connecting the dots or it's all this grand scheme to,
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah. I mean, he's intense, too. Yeah. Yeah. And at the beginning, he's like, do you guys, you really need to watch the interview, like the full interview, not the cut down one.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah. Okay. News Nation. Watch it. But they start off the interview as like he was basically undercover. And he's like, I wasn't undercover. He's like, I was basically joined in the military as a aeronautics mechanic. He's like, great. Did you go to school for being a mechanic? He's like, I did not. He said, but I was a... Mechanic.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
He wasn't allowed to actually say what the interviewer was basically like. You weren't. You were undercover doing this stuff. Fascinating stuff. Same guy from News Nation. Dude, I would love to talk to this dude. I would love it. He knows everybody. All these whistleblowers. He's the first one to interview all these whistleblowers. I don't know if you've noticed that. Was it David Grush?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Newsation, that guy was the first one to release the interview. And then he went to Congress and all that stuff. But there was a fairly recent one. He knows some stuff. Yeah, that the News Nation guy, he interviewed this guy, Ross, forgive me, I'm probably going to mispronounce his last name, Coldheart. He's an older gentleman, but he was a former Green Beret Lieutenant Colonel. Yeah. Was war es?
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Oh, sorry, John Blitch. Blitch. Blitch. Blitch. Blitch. Was? John Blitch. Blitch, got it. Ross ist der Interviewer. Got it. John Blitch ist der, den er interviewt. Er war Green Beret, Lieutenant Colonel. Seine Interview war faszinierend. Er ist nicht technisch ein Whistleblower, aber er arbeitet mit den Whistleblowern, weil er alles erlebt hat. Und seine Geschichte ist faszinierend.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Was ist mit ihm passiert? Sehr schrecklich. It starts when he was a kid. No. And he's a very logical man. I think he has his doctorate or masters in cognitive psychology. Very smart dude. And he was in charge of the battery nuclear program or something. So he was in charge of the team that would place and charge the batteries within the nuclear missiles. So top, top dude. Yeah.
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128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Und er ist auf jeder Straße gewesen. Er ist ein sehr dummer Kerl, sehr klug, sehr auf der Erde. Und das macht seine Geschichte noch mehr faszinierend. Aber er spricht von einem sehr jungen Alter. He talks about, he believes, and he made a very distinct separation between belief and knowing.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
He's like, there's a difference between believing something happened to me and knowing something happened to me. Knowing something happened to me. He said that when he was a child, he believes this stuff happened to him because of stuff that he knows happened to him as an adult.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Und er spricht darüber, als er als Kind war, wurde er mehrere Male besucht, weil er sagt, was wir heute Grays nennen würden. Keine Ahnung. Wo wurde er geboren? Oh Mann, ich vergesse es. Okay. Im Mittleren Westen, glaube ich. Aber er hat diese Verbindung gemacht. Es muss Missouri oder so etwas sein. So he believes that he was potentially abducted even as a child.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
And he said, he's like, there's not a lot of things that scare me. He said, but anytime I start talking about this stuff, he kept on doing this. Like he's like, it sends terror into my bones.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Aber er spricht darüber, als er als Kind sagte, er würde sie außerhalb seines Fensters sehen, nur schauend rein. Und er rennt zu seinen Eltern, schreit, und sie sagen, es gibt nichts da. Und er sagte, das ist so oft passiert. Und dann als Adoption, als er sich um dieses nukleare Programm, all diese Sachen, nicht um das nukleare Programm, was auch immer er involviert war.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Er spricht von diesen sehr unterschiedlichen Dingen, die passieren. Einer, wo er etwas beobachtet hat, aber er war auf diesem Fahrrad. Er sagte, ich würde diesen Fahrrad fahren, weil die Druck auf meinen Job intensiv war. Es war also im Grunde eine Stunde Fahrrad. Ich würde es jeden Wochenende machen. Und in diesem einen Fahrrad sind fünf Stunden unverantwortlich, die ich verpasst habe. Ja.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
And he said, my wife called the police and they were out looking for me. But the whole story is fascinating. He ended up on an Indian burial ground on his bike ride. He knew there was one. He's like, I don't know why, but I felt like I had to go walk on it. What in the world, dude? He was walking on it and he said, all of a sudden my nose just started bleeding, gushing blood.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
And he said, I need to sit down for a second. And then he's like, it's almost like I just closed my eyes and opened them and he's like, it was just a little darker outside. But then he talks about like, up on this hill he saw this truck and he's like, I don't know why, but I had to go see who was inside that truck.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
And he's like climbing up this hill and he got up to the side of this truck and he said, it was not a human inside this truck. He's like, and even right now, I don't even know if that was a truck I was looking at. He's like, it was almost like blurry mirage, dreamy feeling. And then he's like, he said it freaked him out, got out of there. And he said he was the most tired he's ever been.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
And then he went into a gas station, bought some Gatorade, chugged like so much Gatorade, walked out and the police were like, hey, are you John or whatever? He's like, yeah. He's like, okay, well, you've been missing for five hours. Your wife called in. They're concerned about you. Can we give you a ride home?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
No. Gosh, man. But then he talks about this experience to where he's like, what was his name? Ross, the interviewer, he's like, what are their intentions? What do you think they're like? He's like, oh, I've met one. He's like, okay, tell us that. Yeah. Und anscheinend, als Erwachsener, noch in diesem Programm, war es eine Nacht, an der er besucht wurde. Und plötzlich wuchs er auf.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Wenn ich seine Geschichte verbreite, verzeihe ich, weil ich es gesehen habe. Nein, das ist eine zweite Hand. Aber er wuchs auf einem Tisch auf und er sagte, es gab dieses Giant. Er sagte, das Einzige, was ich beschreiben kann, war ein Giant, der einen Mantis betet. Aber er konnte mir telepathisch sprechen.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Tim Alvarino hat darüber gesprochen.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Insekticide, war das?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Insektilin, ich denke, das ist es. Aber er hat gesagt, dass... He believes those are real. And he says, I believe that the greys are non-biological. Artificial. Exactly what Alberto said. But he talked about this thing with speaking with him telepathically. And basically along the lines of stop squirming, stop moving, let us do our test. We won't hurt you.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Und er hat etwas gesagt wie, wir können deine Seele nie touchen oder schaden. Das ist eine Sache, die wir keine Zugang zu haben, ist deine Seele. Oh Gott. Und er hat dieses eine Ding gemacht, wo er seinen Mund oder so geschnitten hat. Und er sah Blut und sagte, sieh, wir können dich physisch schmerzen, aber wir können deine Seele nie schmerzen. Und er sagte, jetzt relax.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Und so war er so, und er hat sich einfach aufgedreht und dann ist er aufgewacht oder in seinem Bett, cover in sweat, was auch immer. I immediately got up and he said, I don't know why, I grabbed my camera and I took a picture of myself in the mirror because I noticed on my arm there were three bruises, like fingerprint bruises inside my arm and one on top, like something had grabbed me.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
And he's like, this dude, I mean, he's legit.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Und er ist gute Freunde mit dem Mann, der die Rekonnaissance, oder die Rausch, oder was auch immer sein Name ist. Nein, ich blicke immer aus. Retrieval.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Das Wort ist einfach nicht in meinem Gehirn. Das ist das erste, was ich denke. Ja, er hat diesen Mann getroffen und sie haben darüber gesprochen und so. Also, sie sind alle versuchen, herauszufinden, was Ja, das muss wahr sein, Mann.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Interstellar?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Describe it more. The Tower. The Tower. Dark Tower? Yes. Yeah, the Dark Tower.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
It's wild. He believes that they've been a part of our world forever. But especially within the US, he's like, the government's known about it at least before Roswell. Und er sagt, er denkt, dass wir jetzt die Technologie wiederentwickelt haben, um die UAPs, die UFOs, zu schießen. Und er sagt, mein Angst ist, dass sie... never meant to hurt us. They're just observing.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
But now that they know that we have the technology to shoot down their craft, they will start becoming more hostile. And then that for me, I'm just like, Ich glaube, dass es keine Aliens sind. Ich glaube, es könnten Engel und geschlossene Engel sein oder was auch immer die Dunkelheit ist, abgesehen von Engeln, du weißt, Dämonen, was auch immer.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Completely speculative, right?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
I think that AI is a very ancient technology that we're now discovering. I don't think it's technology, but there's a deeper sense to it that humans don't fully understand yet.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Ich liebe Tim Alberino's Viewpoint on this. In the book of Ezekiel especially, the vision of them traveling in these craft that are a wheel within a wheel and said they didn't change direction or they didn't move, but whichever direction they went or thought it went. They were in a craft. And So they had to have made these in a different realm, different whatever. So they have a technology.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
I think our understanding of technology is just different from what is a I don't know, eternal technology? It sounds so crazy.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Wieder einmal, wir gehen voll zurück, wo es über die Tage spricht, es wird wie die Tage von Noah sein. Ich denke, die Tage von Noah waren viel komplizierter als nur Menschen, die schlechte Menschen waren. Ja, genau. Ich denke nicht, dass es nur Giants waren, wie Nephilim, die da waren.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Ich denke, es gab dieses... Wenn du über die Tower of Babel sprichst und solche Sachen, dann glaube ich, dass sie wirklich dieses verschiedene, heilige Welt-Technologie besitzen, das für die Menschen zerstörend sein könnte. Es ist wie der Baum des Gutes und des Schicksals, richtig? Du wirst das Gute von dem Schicksal kennen.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Es ist wie, das ist eine Sache aus den Himmelen, diese Technologie, die wir nicht messen sollten, die sie wahrscheinlich in den Tagen von Noah messen sollten, weil die geschlossenen Engel all diese Dinge introduzieren. Und dann denke ich, das wird heute wiederintroduziert durch potenzielle KI, Quantencomputer,
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah, I don't know. That's a great, fascinating question.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Außerdem, wenn du darüber nachdenkst, ist es so, dass Adam und Eve nicht wussten, was das Böse war, oder? Oder wir glauben es. Und es ist so, dass... Wegen dem Wissen von Gott. Und war das Wort eigentlich das Böse? Oder ist es nur so, dass du das Wissen von Gott und ohne Gott verstehst?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Wie die Dinge, die ich für deinen Zweck gestaltet habe und die Dinge, die ich gestaltet habe, die nicht für deinen Zweck sind.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Wir haben mit euch über die Watchers gesprochen, die runtergekommen sind. Sie haben Dinge vorgestellt, die aus ihrem heiligen Raum kamen. Sein heiliges Wissen. Sein heiliges Wissen zum Mann. Sie hatten nicht die Macht, das zu tun. Sie haben es sich selbst genommen, das zu tun, als Rebellion.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
zu gott you know and so that's a very fascinating observation to think about like the the tree of good and evil right is it is it just past a morality standpoint is it like is there a deeper was that where it started where it's like okay now you do have access to this it will bring evil it'll seem good but it will bring evil and the fact that the garden was cut off yeah like no one could go in there holy
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Ja. Ja.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Das ist großartig, Mann. And I'm just gonna call it a dream, but you know, we talked about the book Imagine the God of Heaven, the NDEs. Dude, pause. Okay.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
I left my body. Okay. And I was literally, I could see myself on the bed. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, well, this is exactly what I've read about before. And you were thinking that? Yeah.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah. And then I'm like above my house and then like going like in the sky and then Lily opened the door and it's that same room where it goes, you know, and I was like, I said, whoa. I said, okay. She's like, oh, were you sleeping? In real life she opened up. Yeah. Okay. Got it. Oh my gosh.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
I said, I must have, I said, I had apparently the weirdest dream where like I was like an indie, like I left my body. She's like, Are you okay? Like, yeah, I'm fine.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
That was weird.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
It was just death. It was terrible. There's a copier that's in our room, like a printer. And there's red and blue flashing lights on it. And one night I woke up and I thought it was a drone. And I was screaming at it and throwing stuff at it. And I realized, oh my gosh, I was just throwing stuff at the copier. Like you thought R2-D2 was coming to get you? Honey, we need a new copier.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
I think I've talked about it before on here. The NWTF, the National Wildlife Turkey Federation. It was like in Tennessee. And my dad brought me and my brother. And there was a banquet thing that night. It went really late. And there was like a raffle, so my dad stayed. He ended up winning a shotgun out of the raffle.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Aber ich und mein Bruder gingen zurück in den Hotelraum. Und Taylor hatte einen Fieber und hatte einen von seinen Erleuchtungen. Und Taylor hat immer wirklich stark gewesen, auch als Kind. Aber er wuchs auf und er war so... Hilfe! Hilfe! Und ich war so... Was ist los? Was ist los? Und er konnte mich nicht sehen. Er sah mich aus. Und er war so... Hilfe!
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
I was in my box as a kid, bolted out of the hotel room, running down the hallway like, Dad! There's no phone either, right? Yeah, that's so scary. Just so happened, my dad was getting off the elevator, coming back to the hotel room. And he came in there and calmed Taylor down. Oh my goodness, dude.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Auf jeden Fall. Gute Zeiten, Mann. Ich hatte einen riesigen Thema zu sprechen, aber wir werden es nächste Woche sagen. Ich habe so viel zu sprechen. Wir können über es auf Patreon sprechen. Ich möchte über etwas verrücktes sprechen. Ich denke, Lilly wird es lieben, aber zu schlimm.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Wow.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Yeah, and make sure to subscribe to our YouTube and Spotify, Apple. Like the video, comment on it, because it really helps us. I don't know what's happening, but it seems like we're getting... Blackballed on YouTube right now.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Thanks, Corey.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Oh, that was fun.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
It seems like it always turns into a gaslighting session. And we don't try to do that.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Instead of just asking, we're just gonna just call Will and just see what she has to say. Because she's at home with the girls right now.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Hopefully she answers. If not, then this is... Hey, just real quick. I got a question. Hey, can you hear me? No, I can't. Okay, I just got a quick question real quick. Okay. Oh boy. Hi. Why are you calling me with this?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Huh? No, no, no. I'm just curious about what you think. You're answering for him.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Die Schrift ist auf der Wand. Ja. Überall auf der Wand. Natürlich sprechen wir über die Schrift von jemandem, der von einer Explosion getötet wurde. Aber die Explosion, die sie gemacht haben, war tatsächlich eine Terroristin, die eine Bombe machte.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
And it's really unfortunate that the phone disconnected and Lily couldn't defend herself in this whole thing. That's unfortunate. It was maybe just a big misunderstanding, but regardless, I guess you guys heard it here first.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
It's a dollar general air horn. Oh, shit. That sounded like a dog dying, dude. Happy birthday, Andy.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Es gibt keine Airhorn-Qualität dazu. Ich glaube, dass es... Es gibt keine Airhorn-Qualität dazu. Es hat nur Luft ausgelöst. Ich glaube, es ist ein Airhorn. Wow, was trinkst du? Was riechst du da drüben?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Hey, bevor wir etwas machen, willst du deine Präsente öffnen?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
um so this present me andrew and lily kind of pulled together and really try to make it a really special birthday for you and thanks man yeah you matter to us i'm excited dude we've let me just set the stage a little bit for this present yeah we uh We've been doing this podcast for, what, two years?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
Ten years. Going on 11. And we've mentioned your dad a lot. Yeah. And the lack of. Yeah. And I really think this year might be the year that you might meet your papa.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
128 - Trump's Call to War, The D.C. Crash, and The Tree of Good and Evil
I don't know, but... You just got a feeling in your bones? I just got a feeling in my bones. And so this present is... I think this present is for me knowing and hoping, hoping and knowing that your Papa and you are going to be reunited. So this is kind of like a, A little bit of like everything you missed out on. And I think... So it's like a dual gift. It's for you and your dad.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
123 - Area 51 Secrets, Elvis' FBI Conspiracy, & Wild 2025 Predictions
That's a lot of bottles.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
123 - Area 51 Secrets, Elvis' FBI Conspiracy, & Wild 2025 Predictions
Glitter.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
123 - Area 51 Secrets, Elvis' FBI Conspiracy, & Wild 2025 Predictions
You made the noise.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
123 - Area 51 Secrets, Elvis' FBI Conspiracy, & Wild 2025 Predictions
That really scared me.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
123 - Area 51 Secrets, Elvis' FBI Conspiracy, & Wild 2025 Predictions
Top ramen.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
123 - Area 51 Secrets, Elvis' FBI Conspiracy, & Wild 2025 Predictions
Yeah! What? Yeah! Get him!
Ninjas Are Butterflies
123 - Area 51 Secrets, Elvis' FBI Conspiracy, & Wild 2025 Predictions
Shut up. Shut up. January 6th?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
123 - Area 51 Secrets, Elvis' FBI Conspiracy, & Wild 2025 Predictions
$1,500.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
123 - Area 51 Secrets, Elvis' FBI Conspiracy, & Wild 2025 Predictions
Oh, you saw it?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
123 - Area 51 Secrets, Elvis' FBI Conspiracy, & Wild 2025 Predictions
I did really like it. And I did like it.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
123 - Area 51 Secrets, Elvis' FBI Conspiracy, & Wild 2025 Predictions
It's good. Terrifying movie. Inside Out.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
123 - Area 51 Secrets, Elvis' FBI Conspiracy, & Wild 2025 Predictions
I am Mr. Beast.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
123 - Area 51 Secrets, Elvis' FBI Conspiracy, & Wild 2025 Predictions
Wow. Just keep doing it over and over. Just new songs. Laugh.
Stuff You Should Know
Short Stuff: Outlawry
Hey, Will. Do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days? Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science.
Stuff You Should Know
Short Stuff: Outlawry
Then it's a good thing our podcast Part-Time Genius is counting down the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years.
Stuff You Should Know
Short Stuff: Outlawry
In a paper called, quote, Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans. Right.
Stuff You Should Know
Short Stuff: Outlawry
They all discovered that much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces. Got it. We're talking medical miracles.
Stuff You Should Know
Who Put Bella In the Wych Elm?
I'm like, ah, there's so much science. I can't keep track of it all.
Stuff You Should Know
Harry Belafonte: The Real Deal
I'm like, ah, there's so much science, I can't keep track of it all.
Stuff You Should Know
Harry Belafonte: The Real Deal
He's an endocrinologist who found a way to stimulate insulin-producing cells using, wait for it, the saliva of a Gila monster.
Stuff You Should Know
Harry Belafonte: The Real Deal
We even talked to some of the experts behind these breakthroughs. It's a week full of fact-packed stories you won't want to miss. So listen to the part-time genius countdown of the 25 greatest science ideas of the past 25 years. Starting Monday, March 3rd on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Stuff You Should Know
The History of Refrigeration
Hey Will, do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days? Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science, I can't keep track of it all. Then it's a good thing our podcast Part-Time Genius is counting down the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years.
Stuff You Should Know
The History of Refrigeration
In a paper called, quote, Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans. Right. This was actually the title of the paper. They all discovered that much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces. Got it. We're talking medical miracles.
Stuff You Should Know
Fentanyl: Actually As Dangerous As They Say
This is kind of star-studded a little bit, man.
Stuff You Should Know
Fentanyl: Actually As Dangerous As They Say
This has kind of star-studded a little bit, man.
Stuff You Should Know
Solipsism: This Is All In My Mind?
We got Ricky Williams, NFL player, Heisman Trophy winner. It's just a compassionate choice to allow players... All reasonable means to care for themselves.
Stuff You Should Know
Solipsism: This Is All In My Mind?
We got Ricky Williams, NFL player, Heisman Trophy winner. It's just a compassionate choice to allow players...
Stuff You Should Know
D'oh! Operation Flagship
Then it's a good thing our podcast, Part-Time Genius, is counting down the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years.
Stuff You Should Know
D'oh! Operation Flagship
In a paper called, quote, Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans. Right.
Stuff You Should Know
D'oh! Operation Flagship
They all discovered that much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces. Got it. We're talking medical miracles.
Stuff You Should Know
D'oh! Operation Flagship
Then it's a good thing our podcast, Part-Time Genius, is counting down the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years.
Stuff You Should Know
D'oh! Operation Flagship
In a paper called, quote, Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans. Right. This was actually the title of the paper. They all discovered that much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces. Got it. We're talking medical miracles.
Stuff You Should Know
Selects: Are crickets the future of food?
That's right, Mango. We're talking animals.
Stuff You Should Know
Selects: Are crickets the future of food?
That's right, Mango. We're talking animals.
Stuff You Should Know
Selects: Are crickets the future of food?
Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science, I can't keep track of it all.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Talk to the Man Who Changed How I Connect With Others (With Will Guidara)
So he was the co-owner of Eleven Madison Park, and they are a three Michelin star restaurant, which is – that's amazing.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Talk to the Man Who Changed How I Connect With Others (With Will Guidara)
Beyond, yeah. He's also the James Beard Award winner, which to the foodies that are listening, that's a very, very big deal.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Talk to the Man Who Changed How I Connect With Others (With Will Guidara)
Yeah, definitely. And like you said, he is the executive producer of The Bear. And for those that have watched it, he's also in season three. Yes. And then, of course... They used the book throughout the whole thing. His fingerprints are over that entire show, which is so amazing.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Talk to the Man Who Changed How I Connect With Others (With Will Guidara)
Oh, man, yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Talk to the Man Who Changed How I Connect With Others (With Will Guidara)
Mm-hmm.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Talk to the Man Who Changed How I Connect With Others (With Will Guidara)
Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Talk to the Man Who Changed How I Connect With Others (With Will Guidara)
Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Talk to the Man Who Changed How I Connect With Others (With Will Guidara)
Dang.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I Talk to the Man Who Changed How I Connect With Others (With Will Guidara)
But I want to pursue it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Yeah, I think I've just, I spent too much time dancing around and trying to figuring out how to make the fire as small as possible. When in reality, the focus should be on that. The fire is happening regardless.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Hey, so I got a quick question for you here. I kind of got myself in a little bit of predicament, and so I'll just get right into it. My wife and I, we've been married for about five years, and in that time frame, I was able to reconnect with a friend of mine that I had made, a male friend of mine that I had made after high school and whatnot.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Started to kind of hang out with him and found out kind of through hanging out with him that his wife kind of made a pass at me. And we have been in an affair now for the last probably decade.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
eight months or so um we've obviously talked about uh just about everything under the sun and i guess i'm trying to figure out um you know if i am i interested in this person um or is it just the thrill of having an affair and and doing something obviously that you know you're not supposed to do um and so i'm trying to trying to figure out how to figure that out um
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Because, you know, I just want a little bit of advice on trying to how to progress forward with that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
I'm calling to ask because, you know, in the time that I've chatted with this person, you know, we've obviously we've we've talked a lot more about the just the physical nature of of things. And, you know, there's been times where we both had the idea that, you know, our lives potentially could be better with that other person. But obviously, that's not something that I, you know, want to.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
I don't want to jump into something or I don't want to technically pursue something. And then turns out it was just because of the thrill of an affair. I mean, my wife and I, we've had our struggles and our issues pre the involvement of the affair or my friend almost called it off a few different times. without that being a factor.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Um, so I think it was just kind of came across at the timing that I was the most vulnerable to accept it. Um, but yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
So we've been obviously dealing, like I had previously stated, we had been dealing with our own, obviously, struggles.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
His wife kind of made a pass at me, and we have been in an affair now for the last eight months or so.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Right. So I haven't sat down and talked with her about it because I guess I'm kind of put it in my mind that if this marriage that I have with my wife were to potentially fail, that I didn't want this reasoning of what's going on. Bro, you have failed it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
Right. No, I'm aware of that part. What I'm saying is that, like, obviously... our marriage pre this had obviously its problems. We're trying, we were trying to, you know, work on those things.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
And I obviously made the mistake initially and, you know, her and I, we haven't engaged in anything in a while because obviously I'm taking a step back, but it's also one of those that it's at the point where I feel like in order to
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
build with my wife if that's what her and I choose to do then I need to obviously be up front and honest with her about everything that has happened and if I do that then bro listen listen listen listen listen listen you're and I like I'm really close to compassionate for you right now
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
No, I get what you're saying. I think.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
I think that's where I've been struggling because it's like I have gotten far down the road, obviously. And I think in my mind, I have this delusion that there is a different path out besides going back.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
No, I think it's, it's one of those that I'm trying to, you know, obviously I haven't let many people or anybody know about this situation, you know, so obviously I've only ever had my opinions weigh on it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
And so having, you know, an outside source weigh in on it is obviously beneficial, but it's also making me hear things that I haven't heard, obviously things that were, are accurate, but I haven't, because I'm not telling myself those.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Having An Affair With My Friend’s Wife
After this call... Everyone likes to think that obviously there's a good way to land every plane in life, obviously. So, you know, I think I have been caught up trying to figure out if it's possible to land it versus actually realizing that it's not.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
So, yeah, from my perspective, I'm on board with my wife and I support her completely. And I feel the same way in a lot of ways. You know, I construed the situation to be my parents were and it's more my mother. OK, my father is just like, you know. Tells her all the time, but she doesn't listen. So I construed the situation to be more about birthdays and events, and I put my foot down hard.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
I made her cry on a Christmas.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Well, no, her move was always, you know, I'm the matriarch, listen, shut up, this is it. And I said, no, I'm not taking that. And I went over the hill and I put my foot down and said, these are my kids and these are our rules. And since then, um, Christmases and birthdays and everything, uh, I, I give her reminders weeks ahead and I tell her, you know, Hey, keep it calm.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
And she does communicate with me a little bit better before Christmases and, and, uh, and new and birthdays and stuff like this. But it turned into, uh, every week that she would see us, there's a new something, a little gift, a little thing. So why, let me hop in here.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Not just in even material things, but food. If it's not an excess, then it's not good enough.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
It's just another way to get as much to my father after she cried, you know, like, and he expressed and said he felt the same way that he'd been rolled over his whole life.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Our eldest daughter absolutely loves their grandma.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
I mean, I married a minimalist at heart. She wants to have that little small car, and I'm used to being the only child spoiled with everything. I let her lead in terms of what we want in the house, and she's the one who keeps me in check from overbuying things. So, yeah, it... I'm totally on board with that mantra.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
So here's where I'm going to interject and say that my parents have plans to retire on the other end of the country.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
And I want to know... from your perspective, is this something that I need to rock the boat on or do I let my mother get away with it for the next couple of months and hope that the problem kind of solves itself because she'll be on the other end of the country?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Does it though? It does temporarily. Amazon exists and dropshipping.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Amazon exists and dropshipping. I am that scared that we're going to get that.
The Oprah Podcast
Oprah and Mel Robbins on How to Calm Anxiety
Hey, Oprah. Hey, Mel. It's great to be here. Thanks for having me.
The Oprah Podcast
Oprah and Mel Robbins on How to Calm Anxiety
Yeah, so I think my primary experience with anxiety or at least kind of the fever pitch moment of it was in high school. I had all these social insecurities and academic worries. And so, I mean, what Mel said really resonated with me because it kind of just manifested into this like amorphous blob of anxiety.
The Oprah Podcast
Oprah and Mel Robbins on How to Calm Anxiety
anxiety and fear, I kind of compare it to like a low budget horror movie, like something stalking me around the corner. And it sounds so scary. But like, if I actually peer around the corner, and you know, just put it down as regular problems, it's really not that scary. And so that's really how it's shown up for me and in college too, as well as high school.
The Oprah Podcast
Oprah and Mel Robbins on How to Calm Anxiety
And so my question is, I think my generation, honestly, even my younger brother's generation too, kind of has this instant gratification culture with social media and the like. And so I'm kind of curious, Mel and Oprah as well, what tools does the next generation need to cope with anxiety?
The Oprah Podcast
Oprah and Mel Robbins on How to Calm Anxiety
I mean... I feel like with college students, it comes up a lot that people go out and then they have homework to do the next day. But I kind of, I guess, had conflated the two between homework.
The Oprah Podcast
Oprah and Mel Robbins on How to Calm Anxiety
answer your questions what tools does the next generation need to cope with anxiety
The Oprah Podcast
Oprah and Mel Robbins on How to Calm Anxiety
Yeah. I think that one thing that men in my generation, but honestly, in all generations kind of struggle with is taking care of our mental health like we do our physical health. Do y'all talk about it?
The Oprah Podcast
Oprah and Mel Robbins on How to Calm Anxiety
I think it's very hard for men to get into spaces where they can feel comfortable and safe talking about it, and I don't think it has to be so scary. I take anti-anxiety medication on a low dosage, and I go to therapy, and I think they're wonderful things, and I treat them like I'm taking a protein shake or going to the gym, but for my mental health instead of my physical health.
The Oprah Podcast
Oprah and Mel Robbins on How to Calm Anxiety
And a lot of my friends, I think, have trouble kind of opening up that mental side as if it makes them less of a man. There are all sorts of crazy talking points you can fall into there. And I think it's silly because I think we become stronger when we take care of our brains, too. And so I think that the struggle is getting men into spaces where they can feel comfortable talking about it.
The Oprah Podcast
Oprah and Mel Robbins on How to Calm Anxiety
Yeah, I have a few friends in my fraternity, which is a group of men who, of course, I feel very comfortable talking about with my emotions and my anxieties and my stress. But I think that's rare for men. And I think it's something that I'd like to see men be able to do more often.
The Oprah Podcast
Oprah and Mel Robbins on How to Calm Anxiety
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
Hey Will, do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days? Constantly.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
Hey, Will. Do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days?
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
Then it's a good thing our podcast, Part-Time Genius, is counting down the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
That's right, Mango. We're talking animals.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
In a paper called, quote, Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans. Right. This was actually the title of the paper. They all discovered that much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces. Got it. We're talking medical miracles.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
There's no way to make that not sound crazy.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
Then it's a good thing our podcast Part-Time Genius is counting down the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
That's right, Mango. We're talking animals.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
In a paper called, quote, Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans. Right. This was actually the title of the paper. They all discovered that much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces. Got it. We're talking medical miracles.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
There's no way to make that not sound crazy.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
Hey Will, do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days? Constantly.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
Then it's a good thing our podcast Part-Time Genius is counting down the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
That's right, Mango. We're talking animals.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
In a paper called, quote, Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans. Right. This was actually the title of the paper. They all discovered that much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces. Got it. We're talking medical miracles.
The Psychology of your 20s
274. The psychology of the youngest child
There's no way to make that not sound crazy.
The Psychology of your 20s
279. The psychology of career jealousy
Hey Will, do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days? Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science, I can't keep track of it all.
The Psychology of your 20s
279. The psychology of career jealousy
Do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days? Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science. I can't keep track of it all.
The Psychology of your 20s
277. Let's talk about birthday anxiety
That's right, Mango. We're talking animals.
The Psychology of your 20s
277. Let's talk about birthday anxiety
This was actually the title of the paper.
The Psychology of your 20s
277. Let's talk about birthday anxiety
He's an endocrinologist who found a way to stimulate insulin-producing cells using, wait for it, the saliva of a Gila monster.
The Psychology of your 20s
277. Let's talk about birthday anxiety
We even talked to some of the experts behind these breakthroughs. It's a week full of fact-packed stories you won't want to miss. So listen to the part-time genius countdown of the 25 greatest science ideas of the past 25 years. Starting Monday, March 3rd on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Happens One Baby Step at a Time
All right. I hope you guys can hear me. Um, my wife and I are in baby step seven. Our home is worth 400,000. Of course it's paid off. And, um, My question was, um, I'm 61 and potentially in four years, like to possibly retire, not entirely like you guys are just talking about, but from corporate America anyway.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Happens One Baby Step at a Time
And, um, the home that we sell for 400 now, which I'm assuming will go up and the home we want to buy in the same area is possibly about a hundred thousand more. Currently have about 700,000 plus in retirement savings and liquid combined and want to know if you guys think it's okay to spend 100,000 of the retirement to buy a 500,000 house instead of the 400 we're in now.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Happens One Baby Step at a Time
Tell him why. I know. Well, believe it or not, I don't want to, my wife doesn't want to go upstairs when she gets older. She's like, She's putting something on herself that hasn't happened yet. She thinks she can't get up the stairs of the two-story and wants to go to a one-story.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Happens One Baby Step at a Time
Probably wouldn't. Well, one thing I didn't throw in is that between now and those four or so years, we will probably reinvest another $100,000 or so between now and then. Oh, I wouldn't do that.
The Ramsey Show
Building Wealth Happens One Baby Step at a Time
Well, the whole question is about a house, but the retirement savings, which is $750,000, will probably be about $850,000 by that time.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
I think I'm going to go with Adam's story about the beavers.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
So I work as a coordinator for the Visual and Performing Arts Department of a local school district.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
I like to ride bikes when it's not cold and slushy outside like it is today.
Watch What Crappens
#2671 Southern Hospitality 0201 Repost
Summer young, we're going to live forever. We're going to live forever.
Watch What Crappens
#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
What is this little meal they have going on here? Because even the kid, one of the kids is like, lobster, don't you think that's a little too fancy? Even the kid knew.
Watch What Crappens
#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Rich people are like, oh my God, lobsters are amazing.
Watch What Crappens
#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
Yeah, I really am attracted to a guy who doesn't need to look cool. And he just like, he doesn't even spend money on real toothpicks. He just has pretend ones in his mouth while you talk to him.
Watch What Crappens
#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
And so she's like, you know, I don't know this girl at all, but I'm optimistic about seeing a different side to her. You know, I'm not going to be mean to the only person who actually makes fresh carbs today.
Watch What Crappens
#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
I snatched my peach back, but now I'm bringing the juice.
Watch What Crappens
#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
And we're like, oh my God, I love cleaning up trash on the freeway.
Watch What Crappens
#2686 Southern Hospitality S03E02 Part Two: Post Traumatic Dress Misorder
Will is on the head of my phone. I've got you.
Watch What Crappens
#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
She's like, somewhere over the rainbow. This elevator is unlimited.
Watch What Crappens
#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
She's like, yeah, it's definitely crazy having to call Randy again. It's insane. I got to file for divorce.
Watch What Crappens
#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
And she's like, Cordell packed up my stuff. And I'm like, some random karma has a name. And that name is Bitch. And I'm going to get him. I'm going to fight him in that big bubble butt.
Watch What Crappens
#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So she's like, but just all this information that I'd asked him about, he lied about and came out about him being like, him not having a real green card, him not having more than gold status on American Airlines. I mean, he should be executive platinum by now. I mean, the only way for you to really protect yourself at the end of the day is if you have a prenup to enforce it.
Watch What Crappens
#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So you only have to enforce it by doing a divorce.
Watch What Crappens
#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
Now, I know it looks like to many people like, oh, she posted this perfect life. But I look back and I could think to myself, I definitely posted this knowing that we were not okay.
Watch What Crappens
#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
So she's like, honey, you know I had to circle the block, and I'm back.
Watch What Crappens
#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
he just wasn't the man that I thought I was marrying. I mean, Pilar and I, we're still living in a marital home, but things are getting really stressful with the divorce, and I'm trying to figure out a way forward.
Watch What Crappens
#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
I just, I let my guard down because I felt like it was a safe space and I still love this person and I really hate all that. I let my guard down.
Watch What Crappens
#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach
A lot of people, they say, well, this could be karma or whatever. But for me, I guess with bad karma comes good karma. Because I always come out okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
i remember you've definitely gotten better you've gotten better the problem is though the people that i've told about it now i feel like i have to hang around and so like i will be going to ask page like a quick question and then sometimes i feel like i'm overstaying my welcome by trying to prove that i am listening
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And for episode 101, it feels special. To kick off the new century. It's a new era. What do we do now for the- I think we start over. So it's someone who wore number one or someone who's one years old. Yeah. Wait, what do you mean we start over? So we do like on episode 97, we guessed someone who's either 97 years old or wore the number 97 as an athlete.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
What are they talking about? No, nothing's been said for the past.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I think you can be like, all right, well, I'm going to run. It's more just about letting them know. Yeah, I guess I was never great at the dismount.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I'm really good at starting conversations.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
out it felt like i'm running into my elementary school teacher at the grocery store where it was like we were sitting there talking and she i think wanted to keep doing her thing and i kind of wanted to keep doing my thing but we both were just like so what else is new yeah and uh and either of you were had any urgency to like get it anywhere we were we both told each other when we were boarding yeah over an hour
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
That's perfect. Dude, that actually, all right. Well, the rehearsal was great, first of all. You guys should watch it. It's about airplanes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And it's unbelievable and reckless and beautiful. But go to the Slack application. I Slack to you and Brian. This is about love on the spectrum. This was a news article, the most recent one, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
News article that popped up on my Instagram today. This is from the Post and Courier, which is the Charleston newspaper. The headline is, Love on the Spectrum star congratulates Charleston tattoo shop owner for one year anniversary.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And if you read the description of this news article, it says, Connor Tomlinson, who is from the series that spotlights people with autism as they navigate relationships, gave a cameo shout out to Ashley B. of Somerville. That's a news article that someone in Charleston, the Charleston newspaper posted that someone in Charleston booked a cameo. Right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And it was such a nothing week that they were like, I don't know, Connor did a... I like the idea that a guy came in, like, sweating, like, frantic in the morning. He's like, guys, guys, guys, scrap whatever you had for today. Connor from Love on the Spectrum just did a fuck Fucking cameo for a girl in Somerville.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
So someone who wore number one- Or is one. Or is one, Bill.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah, I followed the Post and Courier.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
um my dad also lives in somerville that's reasonable to follow the local news where you grew up no yeah that is oh wait no connor lives in atlanta yeah yeah you know i'm from the corner of the ata they uh she posted a great his lady posted a great instagram it was her as like like a not it was her when she was nine and it was like uh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Little did this person know at some point she would be someone's damsel in distress or something. They love each other in a very great way. I guess that's a spoiler.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
So I went on this Viral hike On Sunday And it was like It was harder than I expected Like the last few miles to the top were like It was a lot That was a full one day like non-stop
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I mean, we took, you know, take breaks at the top and all that stuff. Did you eat enough? I was eating a lot of gummies and beef jerkies and I made some sandwiches, but it was like 18 miles round trip. So it was like the last few miles of the top were brutal. And then when we start going down, it's like all snow and like slush. And so we're like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
No, no. We just have to think of one collectively.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
like we have like poles and like, you know, like spikes on our shoes that weren't really doing much. We're like kind of just like slowly working our way down this like big snowy cliff. And I was like, dude, there's no way we couldn't just fucking bomb this shit on our asses. Right. And so like, look at this leg. Oh, Willie, you did it. Wait, it's so cool. I forgot that it was snowy up there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
What if you hit rocks and shit? And I was like, I don't know. I'm going to fucking try it because I was so tired. I was like, if this is a way to shave off a couple miles. A couple miles?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You're supposed to be doing switchbacks here, too. It's really steep, so you're supposed to be going back and forth. Wait, was it rough at all on the bum? Uh, yeah, I was a little bumpy on my ass, and I got, my whole pants got soaking wet. Yeah, I was about to say that. I took that, I think I cut off. A few moments of glory for a couple hours of wet pants.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
But it dried so quickly, because it was, like, sunny and pretty decently warm.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
So I literally shaved off, like, I think a mile of our hike. That's out of, like, a cartoon. Did Scott join you? Yeah, he was a little reluctant, but, like, I was having, it was actually, like, I haven't felt, like, childlike wonder like that. Yeah. Aw. So long. That's beautiful. You can kind of hear us in the video. We're like giggling along. It's very funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It's not always a competition, Billy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
My mom had to had to peel me off the playground. Our kindergarten ended with an hour recess that parents could kind of like they didn't all come at once. You could just come get your kid anytime during this thing. And I would sit there and pump just for forever. But one of her favorite stories is she was watching me and my friend Garrett in the sandbox.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
There was, like, another kid in there with us. And you're at that age where, like, you just don't realize, like, anything you're doing. Like, you don't understand that certain things are funny yet. So, like, kids just, like, kind of go through life without...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
any anxiety about embarrassing themselves we're describing childhood right now yeah she she said that we were sitting there i'm familiar with it we came out like this okay so kids they're innocent and they're okay i realize i go back a little i apologize this third this third kid apparently let the stinkiest loudest fart go ever in the sandbox and me and my friend garrett just like kept going i didn't even acknowledge it and she was like i had to excuse myself
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
because like it wasn't appropriate for me to be like like laughing she didn't understand why we didn't think it was funny and so she was just cracking up and then had to like go collect herself and then come back that's hysterical nothing funnier than a stinky fart i had some stink bombs this weekend what were you eating i don't know regular stuff i think
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Regular sandwich, I think. I don't even remember. I had a cheese sandwich. I had a cheese machine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I'm trying to think. There's gotta be like a famous baby.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it was that day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yes, yes. And Scott could too. That would have melted the wallpaper. I mean, he had to go ahead of me the whole way because he was like, Jesus fucking Christ. There was one point we stopped for food and I farted and he was like, oh my God. Willie D. And we had to get him to start moving again. I ate shit like 10 times doing that before I decided to slide on my butt. It was a tough one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
No, but there's gotta be someone that was like born last year that it was like, no way. Blank had a baby.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I need clarity. We talked for spats of it, but I would say most of it we're not talking.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
We're definitely past the point where we don't need to be talking.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Also, he's kind of a quiet guy, so it was mostly me talking at him probably.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
it's like getting shit off your chest it was yeah that hill coming up to our office like if you get caught with a co-worker and they're trying to have a conversation you're like trying not to show how out of shape you are but like i'll be walking up next someone will be asking questions like i don't i don't know oh my god yeah he was he was definitely doing better than i was like at the top like he was kind of going ahead of me and i had to catch up and how long did you guys chill at the top for
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
yeah oh but justin bieber's kid is he like tweaking now wait does he have a kid yeah i was skeptical he was he was born in like december i want to say justin bieber's child what's his name actually i could no no no no july he's a leo i do remember that no his name is jack blue bieber jack blue jack bieber look up jack blue wait what about number one who is number one I was thinking about it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
30 minutes or something it's kind of boring i did a scenic piss i got i'm on scenic pisses are you well it hasn't gone up yet but it got approved that's cool i peed so the peak of it is the highest elevation in all of southern california and because it was san gorgonio i like that name a lot we kind of went early like since there's still snow and stuff so we're the only ones at the top so i got on top of the highest rock and pissed off and so i had the highest possible piss in southern california
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
That's like a resume thing. Like, at one point, you were the highest pisser in Southern California. Yeah, like, I don't know if anyone's ever pissed off. It was kind of gross to piss off that, because, like, it's like a... But it was boring up there? Yeah, I mean, it was cool. Like, we ate and stuff, but then it was kind of like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
no angry birds so i guess like i'd rather get the head start on going down but then we flew down it took i was scared that because then we're just like it's gonna get dark it took like six hours something six something hours to get up but then it took like three hours to get down getting dark on the hike would actually be really spooky i would not like that no no we got back at like four so it was we were totally fine i was just worried if it took as long as to get down as it took to get up which it would never but like in theory then it would have gotten what time did you leave venice
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It hurts your joints, but it's like your whole weight of your body is hitting each foot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You've also already seen everything. Like on the way up, it's like a new, every step is a new thing. On the way down, it's like, well, I get it. Yeah. I kind of agree like in theory, but like this hike was, I don't know. This was, it was, it's also like the elevation's getting, like the air's getting thinner as you're going up too. So it gets like harder. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
This one sucked going up. I did not have fun. The last two miles, I was miserable.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
No, because Scott's doing this gnarly hike of the year.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
He needs to be doing a bunch of stuff with heavy packs and long... How many days is that hike? He's going for weeks in the Argentinian mountains. The highest peak in South America. That's going to be an eye-opening experience. The two of us are doing the highest peak in Mexico in November because he's trying to do all this stuff to prepare and I said I would do that one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Holy shit. Yeah. Can you Google Orizaba or something?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah. Does he need like oxygen for that one? I don't think so, but I think it's a lot of stopping and acclimating and stuff. You know with Mount Everest, they go up almost three quarters of the way and then they go back down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I thought they just go up, chill there for like a week. I think they literally go back down. You go like boom, boom, boom, and then you can finally do it. Why not just bang it out in an afternoon? I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
i don't know you know i almost imagine you get really high for a bit and your system gets sort of accustomed to that you come down you could like live way easier at the slightly lower elevation yeah it's like you can get more food like you wouldn't be able to bring enough food to last how long you would need to acclimate or something maybe yes but also yeah like see so that's like 10 days or something but also the thing about this is or 14 days i guess wait there's a helicopter right at the bottom of the map why don't they just take that
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
it's ridiculous why is it all the way down there it should be the top of them you don't know like it's all dependent on whether like the weather whether you can summit yeah so like they're gonna do all this and then it's like kind of a crapshoot on the last day about whether you actually get the oh yeah no thank you i love i love some like casual hiking around here i think i'd do one like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It's harder to think of than I would have thought.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah, I mean... Oh, cool. It's called The Mountain of Death.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Where is Zaba? But I feel like the mountain of death is probably the mountain.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
That's the one on... Pico de Orazaba sounds like a good special salsa.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Wait, you're going to Mexico for this?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Isn't one retired... What famous Yankee wore Lou Gehrig? You know how bad your disease has got to be for them to start calling it like Billy Langdon's disease? Do you think that's how good you've got to be at baseball to get a whole disease named after you?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Oh, so you were summiting a real mountain. Yeah, it's becoming kind of clear to me right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I have to do a Yotta ad. This has nothing to do with what we're talking about. Oh, my God. Jesus, Will. This is scary. Are we watching you live? Yeah, I've never looked it up. I haven't looked it up yet. Do you own any of this equipment?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Well, because everyone else is not? No. No, because everyone else is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It's like you feel like you're like, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
like i feel like i'm at home it'll be like a tuesday oh like yeah there's no like peak hours like after work is when everybody goes like just all day it's a role like i would go when i was in college to like pick something up and there are guys at like noon on a tuesday like getting ready for some sport that doesn't exist yeah yeah all right let's draft this today
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I was talking to my friend Julia yesterday. So she went to Bates with my sister. She played on the basketball team and she texted me that she was in an argument about whether or not Cooper Flagg had been to this bar that we go to, whatever. And then that led us down like a rabbit hole of just like, we were catching up, whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And I remembered she, the first time we met, this girl, Julia Middlebrook, came over to our house and she had like this huge, we'll put a picture, we'll put a blurred, I had chat GPT blurred.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
But she had this giant gash on her arm. It was gnarly, gnarly. And I was like, what happened? Keep in mind, this is the first time we've met. This is the first conversation we're having. She was on the basketball team at base. She said she wanted to sharpen her skills. So she went to the roughest park in Lewiston to play against the local Lewiston people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And if you know anything about Lewiston, that... is where you could get into some trouble. He's trying to play hardball with the boys down there. And she's like, whenever I beat this guy, he was pissed that he lost to a girl, so he stabbed me in the arm. And I was like, what? There were like 10 people at dinner at our house. What? That's insane.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And she was like, yeah, and kind of filled in the rest of the blanks. Leaves the house. I don't see her for another couple months. And I was like, how's the, did they ever catch that guy? She was like, what are you talking about? She just, she just thought it would be funny to just make up a story. She was just walking through campus and like nicked it on a pole or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And it, it went horribly, but she was like, she, that would have been funny to be like, no, I'm just joking. But she left the house without telling me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Maybe it's, like, a Peaky Blinders type thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
that would have been a great story to just uh come back around and be like hey by the way i was kidding but i also kind of love that she waited weeks to tell you yeah like the payoff yeah oh long con you know we're getting more there are more parents that are we've like noticed that are more like moms that are playmates lately yeah billy billy we have uh we get dms of people's little babies sitting like twice right a little bit yeah yeah like that's more of
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Stage four Langdons. All right, let's try and figure this out. What would everyone's last name's disease be? Yeah, how would they, like, phrase it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
We wrote, like, the views keep going up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And she like ran up and was like, oh my God, I love the podcast while she was holding her baby. I was like, oh, this is happening.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I wonder if my mom watches. I'm trying to find me a mom... Me. I want to... Mommy? You want to... Mommy? Like step into a mother's life and take care of a kid. Wear skin?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
But I don't want to have the kid. I just want to step into a single mother's life and be the father.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I think you're ready for it, dude. I'm ready. What were you doing this weekend?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
No, we literally saw like six people the whole day. Oh, wow. But it was, it's because like this, I think most people go once the snow melts, but yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Who's the disease? Like, if you had Dinellon's disease. Oh, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I don't know, I keep going higher and I'm walking down and I don't know what's happening. There was like an older lady that started right when we started though. And she was like on pace with us the whole time. And I was like, that is so fucking badass.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Probably like a 50 something year old woman. Hey, that's not old. Yeah. Older. Prime of her life. But like people who do that a lot. Yeah. It was just, yeah, no, it was just impressive. Yeah. Speaking of the, like, you want to be a mom's boyfriend, this guy tweeted a photo the other day that was cracking me up. He dropped his girlfriend's kid off at basketball tryouts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And it's just one tiny white kid and then a bunch of full-grown, like, black kids. And he just goes, I just dropped my girlfriend's son off at tryouts. They're going to fucking kill him. Or like, he's going to get eaten alive. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It's when your balls are eight times the size of your penis.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I think that's, isn't that kind of, I was watching the Tiger Woods documentary with no sound. That was kind of the vibe I got, that his dad was like, I'm going to make him be good. He essentially grew him in a lab. They only let him do school and golf, and then that's what happens when you create so much pent-up aggression or whatever. They've never experienced fun the second you let them loose.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It's like your friend who had strict parents in high school, and then they get to college. Oh, you're saying with his life. Yeah, you end up partying a little too much.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
My kid's going to be a podcaster and I'm going to start.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You're going to get him a little Fisher Price thing that spins around him over his bed is just like microphones and headphones. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
subliminal messaging from day one it's gonna be awesome i got a question for you guys hit me so uh once again i'm trying to figure out if i was in the wrong in this situation oops uh my sister was leaving a couple hours later than i was to fly uh fly home after easter and so the plan she had to take meetings so the plan was i was going to bring her to the airport check her into the lounge and then get on my flight to leave
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I'm sorry. If you have Willie's D, is it your balls are really big or your penis is really small? Your balls have swollen to eight times the size of your penis.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
cool and it was one of those ones where you had to talk to a a person like usually you can just scan your ticket and then you click a button there's no like human interaction so i was thinking like yeah i can just click like i'm going in and then slip her in and leave we get up you have to check in with a physical person and the lady was like for two and i didn't want to waste two things so i was like is there any way i could just check my sister in and then leave and then the woman's like no a member has to be here or whatever and then i was like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
oh okay and my sister threw a temper tantrum when we left that like i didn't try i didn't fight hard enough to let her i was like i feel like they have pretty set in stone rules like yelling at this one person to let you in wouldn't have changed anything and so she stormed off without saying goodbye
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah. Yeah. It's also like you don't owe her that. No. That's what I said. I was like, I was talking to Flynn. I was like, it wasn't like I did a bad thing. I just me trying to do a good thing didn't succeed. And then I'm somehow now the bad guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
oh okay that's the rule I get it I don't feel like fighting no and there were people waiting I was like I was like I don't want it felt weird yeah to me to like push there because it's embarrassing too like I didn't want it to I don't know it felt odd
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Tell him the rule. There were like kids our age, too. So I was embarrassed to be like, I think like. It felt to me like when someone tries to send food back at a restaurant. Where I was like, we're making a scene here. Let's just roll over and eat it. Just move on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
All the blood's going to keep those things alive.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Oh, great. Well, you just pissed off the bad boy of Yelp. Fuck you. Get ready. Oh, great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Do you know what my idea about being the bad boys at Yelp?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Baseline, horrible reviews. So they have to impress you. You develop a reputation. Like a regular dining experience is a 0 out of 10 for me. So they have to fucking pull out all the stops if they want to get a good review. They have to put on a show for you. Yeah, exactly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I want to start with local mom and pop stuff that is trying to make it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can't even find it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You're pissing just like out of the crack between your balls.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You ever get hit by, we talk about this every week, but you ever get hit by a rock coming from your dad's lawnmower? We don't talk about this every week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Sometimes I have a bad feeling when I go to say something that I think about, and I'm like, surely I've said that more than once. Well, I've noticed doing a podcast twice a week has absolutely cooked my ability to remember when or who I've told the story to. Oh, I bet. All the time, Scott's like, dude. And I'm like, fuck.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I didn't know. Yeah. And then we're going to do... We got two great drafts for you guys today. Jesus. We're going to do pool dives that don't exist, followed by first date ideas that don't exist, and then we're going to wrap up with Rusty's song of the day. Last time I checked, it had 700 saves on Spotify.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You have to dip the whole thing in the toilet so that it doesn't get all over. They've got to get special toilets for you. I was in the pool. I was in the pool on Saturday at my dad's house. And I had – my sister was like, oh, you have something on your face. And my dad happened to be watering the plants. And she was like, dad, spray it off. And he had, he had it on like the jet setting. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Oh, is it a playlist? Yeah. I like that. My thinking is... It's a long con for when he drops a song and he puts it in there. We only have like three to four hours a week with the Playmates.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
and that's not enough time on your guys mind i want to be in your ears 24 7 so if you if you get hooked on a playlist that i have control over i can pretty much take control of your entire day it's true i also on saturday i started recording a new song so that'll be my end game is to get it on rusty song of the day good luck oh they'll never let you on there like labels labels pay us like like i would take i would add a song for like 500 bucks
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah, I mean, 700 people might not quite warrant that yet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
or that's someone here Whitney I think has a Christmas playlist that has like a hundred thousand of viral like she somehow I'll figure out who it is later but they somehow came up with like exact the title is exactly what you would search on Christmas to find a good playlist yeah and they, like, I guess got to market early and now have, like, a viral Spotify playlist. That's wild.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I was looking at, like, the back end of, like, that song I did in November, and, like, one of the biggest ways it's still getting listened to is that there's some playlist like that that's, like, road trip vibes or something that has, like, hundreds of thousands of saves that they added me on, I guess, at some point.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
learn about who you are right they've no it's just like comes on yeah they're apparently you can see what playlist is that what you're talking about you can see the title of the playlist so like yes musicians will go to see what they're on and i think sometimes that could sting depending on what the context is yeah yeah what if you were what if like you checked like all right like where are all these listens coming from and it was like worst songs worst songs ever it's like why does it all say pussy eating music
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
it's all there's like eight of those this one says box munching but that just feels like a that's just a synonym you're gonna love willie's new single it is great for pussy eating yeah i think yeah it's like long drives good vibes home for spring those are i can live with all those
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I had a crush on a girl in high school and I wanted her Spotify and she had a very clear sex playlist for who and whoever she was having sex with. What was it called? It was like, did not beat around the bush. I can't remember. But it was like, it was clear she was getting it somewhere else.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
No, I'm saying like she was, it was clear she was getting Lovin' from someone else because she had a playlist that was like music to... Music to Bone Town 2? It was like, I was shocked it was a public playlist. Music I get railed to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And then had the presence of mind to be like, we're all adults here. And so he switched it to the one that like comes out like that. But like, that's what I'm picked where it comes out to straight line.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I remember there was this Teyana Taylor album that I used to always listen to, and now it's just ruined it for me when it was a really good... Do you know that album? It gets you hard every time you hear it now. You would always listen to it when you had sex? Like, there was a time in my life in...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
so how do you because i was never a music on guy how do you what was like you bring a girl home and you're like you're like no this was like a relationship thing let me slip our ears into something more comfortable there's like a relationship thing in it when i lived in a college dorm where the walls were four inches oh so you had to it was kind of a no and i knew all my neighbors yeah but i just remember this there's this one yeah you know you know taylor you know that no i really liked hurry by her
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Do you know that song? That was on. It's a great song. Hurry. My college sex playlist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
it was the album I forget what it came out yeah like the summer before college I don't know the rest that album but I like Kanye produced Kanye was on that one yeah I was hearing about this album recently from someone I don't know it's a fantastic what's the hit on that at something I don't know but I feel like if you're not a sexy person music during hooking up is not sexy
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I mean... All right, did you hear a pitch? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Also, you know, I got this new crew neck and, you know, like my black one fits really well. It's the more you wash. It's this like Hanes blank and I'm finally getting it to a point.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You see, I wash it as hard as I can and then I dry it as hot as I can. So you shrink it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
no it just like becomes like you know all my hoodies like sit i guess you don't know my closet but you know how all my hoodies sit everyone knows i try and get my i try and get my my t-shirts and hoodies like as like hard as possible like i want them to like people to sit up on their own yeah and what i've learned through that is wash it really hard and then dry it on the highest setting to like it's like essentially baking in an oven
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Dude, there were some good, that was fun, dude, playing with the hose.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah. And then it comes out crispy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Especially because if you get a... I was picturing you, like, wringing, like, a dress out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You know what kind of fucked my... I got my, I think, I wish this was pants mock-up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
That might be funnier, actually. Did you get a stain? I got it the same day that I got that shirt from Tanner.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It was bright red. I think washing something that hadn't been washed that's that red with something that hadn't been washed that's that white. I wish this was pants shirt is now kind of red. I thought that only happened in sitcoms. What? If you wash it on hot, the colors mix. If you wash it on cold... Wait, I didn't wash it on hot. Are you sure? Isn't that... What's the default?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
What are all of them for, though? Playing? You know when you're out, you ever be in the shower, like someone else, someone knew's shower, or you're at a hotel and you're like, what could this setting possibly be for? Like, there's one that comes out like an SMG where it's like... You're going through it, it's fun as a kid. How dirty would I need to be to need this?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I also like... I don't have to separate my colors because I just put everything on... Same. Oh, I don't separate anything. Same.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
but here's the thing it was in the wash with other of those like 1801 blank same color shirts that I own and none of those were affected well maybe it is I think it was the perfect storm that one was susceptible to be changed but also you probably had it on warm
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
My mom did the inverse when I was a kid. She would hang dry and then tumble? It was hang dry or like put it on the rack to dry and then put it in the dryer to get the wrinkles out. So she didn't have to iron them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I hate it so much. It's really a fun world we live in with all these possibilities. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Willie, tell them how it works. Download the BetMGM app and sign up using bonus code PLAYDATE Then deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game, and you will receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets if your bet loses. Just make sure you use bonus code PLAYDATE when you sign up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And don't forget, if you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE and get your $1,500 first bet offer today. You can even bet on my Knicks to win the whole thing. All right, I love you. Jack, tell them you love them. Love ya. Let's get back to the episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I love this. I also think this guy might be in my brain. I was driving in West Hollywood yesterday, and you ever look up at houses in the hills, and you're like, how the fuck is there a... Because there's no road. It's just planted on the side of a mountain, essentially. You're like, I don't see any road. I don't see a driveway.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yesterday, a real thought I had was maybe there's a tunnel from the other side of the mountain. And like you park your car, you like pull off that road.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Why would you want that? A hundred bucks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Or, like, the hose company hired them for, like, six months of work, and they, like, they kind of nailed the first two settings. Like, well, we got to fulfill our contracts. It was like they had a big writer's room. Like, everyone wanted to get their idea in. I'm telling you, shower, okay?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I think we should sell it to BlackRock and then they can buy... They can make it more expensive for single mothers to live in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Also, shout out to our new big sponsor, BlackRock.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah. You ever watch a full movie on like TikTok?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I found an account yesterday that posted. It wasn't the big short, but it was the other one that it was about.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
So I watched Margin Call out of order in 13 second clips with like subway surfers as half the screen. So like they didn't post them in order.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
no no i was just scrolling through the page and it happened to be all margin call but i kind of got the gist of what they were doing there and i don't think those guys are very good guys no uh no they're not what they had they had to decide they were like the world's gonna end it's better if we do it than if someone else does it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
what do you mean if we do it so they were like we end the world they're like they initiated this one firm initiated like selling everything off and we're like this is gonna start it but like it's better if we get to it first than if someone else does that was what I gathered granted I watched it I haven't watched the movie it was in 13 second chunks so
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
and you i mean that's how i feel like sayings that don't exist are going to lead to the downfall of our civilization but it's better if somebody else was going to do it yes so like just get ahead of it also start the process if you're the fucking kid out there that does he's been doing sayings that don't exist if you're the kid that does it out there and you're not giving us any credit i hope i hope you have just an okay year
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I hope you get to New Year's this year and everyone around there talks about all the cool stuff they did, and the only thing you did with your life was rip off two humble podcasters.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I kind of, initially I was like, I don't really care what other people do. That's kind of fun. But there is one guy that's like, his whole following is just that. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
That's right. I have a question. What you just said reminded me that I wanted to ask. Thank you. Your girlfriend went and met your family at your house? Well, she'd already met them. Oh, this past weekend? She had met everyone except for extended family, but we did Easter together, and I had never gone on a trip with a girlfriend before, and it was...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Just the whole weekend me checking in to see if she was having fun. Was she? Allegedly. That is a feeling that I didn't like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
have fun yeah because i i like doing nothing and she does too but when you fly someone somewhere you make someone fly to the other side of the country doing nothing felt a little bit different like we would spend most of the day just like laying out and i was constantly worried she i made her time me holding my breath a bunch so that i was keeping her entertained yeah uh that must have killed a couple hours
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I beat my dad by four seconds, and he owed me. I got a pair. It was a weird bet, but I wanted a new pair of pants, and so I got a pair of pants. I got a new pair of pants, too. Nice. Guess what? Did you pay for them? It's a continuation of our morphing into each other. They're gray Carhartt pants. Oh, let's go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
no she's not there yet but I was like checking out these pants and I was like oh fuck I didn't even think about this I don't think I own that at all no no no it was just fun are they the exact same ones that's awesome probably close I got them at a store she asked me what I want for my birthday and I think I'm gonna get I haven't worn these since the three of us lived together Carhartt shorts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
We went to a flea market. That was the same day I got my I'm retired, this is as dressed up as I get shirt. That's a great shirt. Which I've officially retired that shirt. Why? I don't know why. I like that shirt. I want to preserve it as long as possible. And the more I wear it, the looser the neck gets.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Don't want to throw any stones from a glass house, but have you ever seen that yellow Nike shirt that Chester has? The neck is collapsing on itself, and you're like... I try not to look at his neck.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
He's made that very clear. There are some shirts where you're like, this would be a cool shirt to have.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
my whole life yeah but i need to start being more selective about it so that and i have a madness skateboard it's a it's a shirt that my friend got me got for me in high school uh i was really into the movie mid 90s she found out the shirt supplier of the movie and tracked down a madness skateboard uh shirt oh that's and that one also is deteriorating a little bit
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah, I think it's, like, you have flowers in your garden that... That if you sprayed them with jet, it would, like, de-root them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
and you put a lot of work went into that so you have to take care of that so they're stacked on top of each other in a bin in my closet and then all my other stuff is in you know when I won all that money at the horse race that I spent all on Legos yeah that giant bag it's filled with clothes under my bed now that's nice
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
nice so these are all clothes you're trying to save for the long term not like i'm retiring fully my favorite thing growing up was taking on my dad's clothes and so my thinking is i want to have a cool supply if i ever have kids of like yeah dad has cool clothes like dad was cool all my favorite all my favorite clothes were my mom's like all my favorite clothes that i have now are my mom's really yeah like the clothes you wear now or that shirt was your mom's right no
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
no like dresses and just like blouses that makes way more sense I was like that's wild if your mom was dressing like this no no no not like should I wear to work just like nicer things I have this belt that I wear every day and my dad saw me wearing it and was like where did you get that and I was like I don't know I think I took it from your closet a couple years ago he was like that was my friend Barrett's belt in college
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
like my dad probably stole from him or like it ended up in his bag at some point. And he was like, I haven't seen that in, it was like a belt. His friend wore when they were at Rollins in the eighties. And he was like, you, he was like, how do you bear it's belt?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah, that is crazy. All right, you mentioned Chester, and I wanted to bring up my recent beef with Chester. Sure.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Hyping hot? Okay, we're both going to Stagecoach this weekend. He wasn't sure with Ty, with his roommate Ty. Killer guy. I booked an Airbnb with eight sleeping spots for the whole week, for Friday and Saturday nights. You're speaking like you're in court. You're like, I got an Airbnb with eight sleeping spots. Chester and I each got a plus one, so that's like four of the spots.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And then I found Ty and three of his buddies for the other four spots. So this place filled out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
chester's like i don't know if i can go up on friday and so i was like okay that's fine so i figured out a ride i'm gonna i was gonna ride with ty now i'm gonna ride with gavin anyway so i get my own ride i was like just uh let me know about friday night because you know my thing is like well if he bails on friday night then i don't want us all just to have to pay more for that night no he's on the hook for bull or he's on the hook for it or or i could find someone else to stay there whatever chester texts me uh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
The best is just when you have, like, a raw hose, and you would just do it with your finger.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I'm going to read you the text because there should be no room for confusion here. He texted me, and I quote, last week on Monday, I officially can't go to stagecoach on the Friday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
so then I'm like okay those spots are open I was like I don't want to have like I could be like you have to pay but I was like whatever I'll just see if I can find other people Gavin happened to ask me the next day he was like hey I want to go just Friday night do you have a place I was like oh with one other buddy I was like perfect you guys can stay there Friday night and then Cheshire will stay there Saturday night everyone wins
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Then I tell that to Chester and he goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I haven't totally decided on Friday yet. And I'm like, did I misread the text? And I look back and it says, I officially can't go to stagecoach on Friday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And then I'm like, well, I kind of need to know because I got two other people for the spots. And he was like, well, why do you have to fill those spots? Couldn't the six of you just split the cost? Yeah, asshole, Willie.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I felt like I was losing my mind. No, that's very bad. I say this with love. I say this with lots of love for Chester. If there's one thing about Chester Collins, he likes to have both feet and each hand in four different boats and then at the last moment decide this is the boat I want to be in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And the other thing, in the conversation, he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. So you gave away my tickets? I was like, what? No, I didn't give away your tickets. I don't even have access to your tickets. You have your tickets. Just immediately starts catastrophizing. Yeah, I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. So how are you going to get there? And you gave away my tickets. I was like, I got a ride.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And I still, and so he says, all right, I'll let, I was like, well, I kind of need to know because I'm going to have to, I should have just been like, all right, well, then you have to talk to Gavin if you want to figure it out. But I just said like, all right, well, can you just let me know as soon as you can? Because I'm also not convinced it's going to be like a big issue.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
That would be fun to make, like, gimmicky, like, shower heads that are, like, have, like, all these settings.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Like, I think we could squeeze two more people in. And I don't think Gavin's worried about it. I mean, like, I'm sure somebody could sleep on a couch. Yeah, like, it's not, it's going to be fine. But it was just the, and he still hasn't told, he still hasn't let me know. And that's in three days. And it's in three days. I'm curious what he's waiting for.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Is there like a sitcom where he's like, I wasn't serious, and then they read back the transcript, and it's like, I'm dead serious. What is that from?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
When he approached me, I was like, oh, did I fuck this up? Did he just say, I might not be able to? And then I looked and I was like, no, he said officially. Officially is so like, I'm not coming on Friday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Wait till you hear my pitch. I'm watching. Oh, it's bad. Lauren, should we hear another pitch?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
They're just fucking insane. Like, there's one that, like, has, like, two beams that, like, cross. There's, like, there's shuffle. Yeah. You get in the shower. Like, every new song. I was in a hotel when we were in Vegas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yes, buddy. Speaking of the Obamas, I heard a story the other day. She was very good friends with one of my sister's friends at Bates.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Sasha Obama. And went there. It was at a party. And... One of their friends completely normally was filming the party. It's his house or whatever. I think he was more packed than he thought. She knocked his phone out of his hand and was like, don't film me, asshole. And he didn't know who it was. So he got into an argument with Sasha Obama about filming her.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It would be funny to like, you're like worried about your partner or something. So you like, she like checks your sleep receipts in the morning. It's just like ass, huge acid, giant boobs, ass cheating on my girlfriend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
the i don't know if your your shower the same thing it i just stand on the other side of the shower because like if you were up close it would like peel your skin off it was so like pressure oh it was like really hard it was like a tight that's like the opposite of every hotel room i've ever been because it's usually nothing yeah it's usually like you can't even get to my scalp because it just like runs off my hair
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It's like putting a match on your head. Or you come up with, like, the perfect idea, but it's sandwiched between, like, huge stripper butts or whatever, and so you can't. She's like, oh, yeah, let me see. And you're like, no, no, no, no. So you came up with a cure to cancer, but it's between huge stripper butts and glitter all over my face from huge stripper tots.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Cowabunga. Faster than you could say cowabunga.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It's also like technically a rapper's lyrics can't be
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
used against him in court but they they use it a lot for like context i mean the jury hears it yeah they couldn't they couldn't like book you for being like and then i shot him in the face but they would like look up your sleep receipts and they'd be like not admissible in court but billy was thinking this but just take a look at this and stripper butts you make a decision um i love that it's a cool idea i it scares me well that's a resounding yes
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Who wants the greatest pitch that the dairy industry has ever seen right after Lauren once pitched the biggest yogurt ever sold? Oh, my God. That would be unreal. The biggest yogurt ever sold. How big would it be? No, I don't know. I was asking. I was trying to figure it out. We're just sitting here. What do you think the biggest yogurt that's ever been sold was?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
We're talking, what's the biggest tub ever?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Well, I mean, okay, I think the best way to think about it is, like, what's the biggest parfait ever? right like there's probably been a parfait for like a giant yeah or no what's the biggest guy who would want a parfait and then work backwards yes i think parfait has no limitations on like the size of the consumer i think everybody of all sizes could appreciate a parfait i love a parfait
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
What do you put in it? Granola and fruit and honey. I love that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
yeah sometimes greek yogurt can be like really big because it's plain so it's very but that's how you know it's healthy it's like sour cream and i love sour cream so i love sour cream it is just like a slightly sweeter all right so you eat yogurt every day do you ever eat it out of the plastic thing the container yeah no lauren do you ever eat like a little like individual sized yogurt what's the worst part about eating one of those with a metal spoon clinking on your teeth not getting all the little things
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
The yogurt is never... Oh, it's too heavy. It's too heavy and the spoon tips over the yogurt so you have to like... Yes, yes. Super, like super heavy yogurt container. Like it's like lead on the bottom.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
so that you can this is actually great yes yeah put it down or i think maybe it's like an apparatus that you like put the thing in but like it is it is 2025 you're telling me you're telling me i have to hold the yogurt until i'm done eating it sometimes i want to put it down and then it like flies across the room caves in on the on the table yeah yeah could work for applesauce too yes yes yes anything that comes in a tiny little like one serving cup
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
yes yeah maybe it's just like a paperweight for yogurt so it like goes around it like wraps around thing like a adhesive thing like it hooks to the edge and you could like little string adhesive sticks to the table so you can anchor it on one side yes and then the spoon like batten it down yeah it sounds like crank it to tighten it yeah you gotta drill it in yeah yeah it comes with a tiny little drilling kit too
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
suction could be fun too yeah like they make water bottles like that right they're like suction when you set it down yeah oh like suction on the bottom yeah now we're getting somewhere boys have you seen those like bowls that they pit it was like the unspillable bowl so that babies can like yeah it's like on like a gyroscope so like no matter how fast their hand is moving the bowl will like stay upright and they were pitching it somewhere and they were like it's unspillable
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I think I got a sunburn on the top of my head. Yeah. Like through my hair.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You can keep that. All right, do either of you guys have any other pitches? Yeah, I've got any other. I haven't even done my first one. Sorry, Lauren looked at me and went, pitches.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
We'll put the clip of her doing it. I thought she called me a bitch. I'm not going to lie. The urgency with which Lauren is recording this podcast is like the world is going to end here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
God forbid three white guys yap a little bit. Catch a vibe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Lauren came into my office this morning and goes, I don't think I'm going to be very talkative on the podcast today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
yeah and so because lately i've been taking showers oh how did it get through your hair you have such dark thick hair i know but i hiked on sunday and it was 10 hours out in the sun just oh you like for 10 hours yeah it was insane and uh i think i just i think i put sunscreen on like my skin but i don't think it damn i didn't think yeah well girls do that like lord do you do sunscreen down the part of your hair no down like that oh the i should i no i don't
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Did she tell you that she forfeited our whole softball season last night? Wait, really? No, I'm kidding.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I'm kidding. We had to forfeit last night, but we're still in the playoffs. We have lost every game. I don't know if you guys know what forfeit means because if you're in the playoffs currently. We lost a zero. We won zero. Oh, you forfeited one game. I thought you meant you forfeited the season. No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Well, I thought we were forfeiting the season because I thought we would have to win to be in the playoffs, but then we found out after forfeiting that we still made the playoffs. Wait, why was Lauren the Raiden you forfeited? Because she couldn't come.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I mean, there were other people that were guilty. And you need one girl. We had one girl. We only had seven people. Six or seven people. Anyway, it doesn't matter. It wasn't her fault. I was giving her a hard time. Okay. She was just part of the problem. But... The ShopBot 4000, okay?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You ever want to buy something from, like, a brick-and-mortar store, but, like, you don't want to, like, drive there? There's a ghost. No, he's real. Oh, that's Dink? Yeah. Okay. Sorry. You want to buy something from a brick-and-mortar store, but you don't want to drive all the way there and then find out they don't have what you need.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And, like, sometimes smaller, like, you know, if it's not, like, a Walmart, it's not going to tell you if they have it in the store or not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
The ShopUp 4000 is a service provided by small businesses that has a... It's like one of those robot guys that you can take to school and stuff. You know, those guys on wheels with an iPad. And you can tap in and you can go check and see if they have what you want. And then go there and get it. I love it. I have one question for you. What the hell is that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I don't know he loves like coming in no it's he always does that anyway continue there's only one guy who's ever walked in the middle of our podcast and it's him five times and it's like do random things I'm like why do you need to look at the size of your hockey skate right now yeah what the fuck anyway pressing it's very pressing Willie how do you prevent you know sick the sick and twisted of grabbing a hold of it and like going and like humping and insulting other customers I was thinking about sex too can it give you head wait what I'm saying like I would take control of it and go like terrorize the other shoppers
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Then you would lose your privileges and you get arrested. You have to put in your social.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I didn't make the mouth. There's no mouth.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
The mouth is a tennis ball can with two sponges on the side.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It's an iPad on wheels. I, for instance, drove to... Me and Scott were trying to get outfitted in some Western gear yesterday. So we went to this place in Van Nuys. Can I ask why? For Stagecoach. Oh, oh, oh. He told me, the guy working there was like, he was like, guys, can I have a big weekend? It was like this old guy was like, yeah, what gave it away?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And he's like, this is like Christmas for us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
He's like, we rob you morons blind every year.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
But it was like, we ended up getting good stuff. It was like, I couldn't really tell from online whether it was going to have what we needed and it ended up taking an hour to get there with traffic. So it was just like, I wish I could have scouted out, gotten a feel of the place before. Those stores, too, know that we don't know anything about it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
When Willie and I went into Allen's Boots, we got three things, and it was $2,400. What? Mind you, I got one hat that was $200. Everything else was this guy. He got alligator boots.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Not our money, for the record. It was Kenward's money. It was on the company, which is maybe worse. Because I don't give a fuck. But someone invested in this company.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It was for a video. They needed to be real or whatever. It is funny. They probably robbed us blind because we just don't know the prices. I think they said the prices. No, because I remember getting up to the counter and it was like... I'll get it. It's for a video or whatever. And then the total came out and he was like, oh!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
That was pre-Motz, dude. Motz would have never let that happen. Life before Motz at this company was paradise.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah. Yes. Maybe. Awesome? Yes. Also awesome. Was I expensing trinkets? Of course you were. Was I expensing my rent for six months without anyone noticing? Absolutely.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And I was like, I feel like that is...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
a one-way ticket right you'll get audited if you do that yeah expensing your rent would be but he was like i it just sounded like a one-way ticket to the irs never trust also like the way you said that made strider sound like a country guy you could you know in theory you could you know if you ran we're interested at all and you filmed at your house all right let's do teach me some things i don't know billy's got or billy do you have a pitch um i could pitch something i didn't no no no i got about that
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Your body, your choice. That's more important. Can you go athlete to wear number one? I'm still thinking about it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I've never spread... It's kind of like how you can't get sued for spreading misinformation if you didn't know it wasn't true. I've never knowingly spread a lie. I've just been proven wrong by Google. Time and time again. He's inadvertently spread disinformation a handful of times, but there's no malice. There are people in the comments that will timestamp the first time I'm wrong.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
and compare them with the other ones.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Good for you. There was one episode recently where it was like Rusty was wrong on the three-minute mark. It came out of the gates.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
He wore three. He wore three. Fuck. Oscar Roberts. Chris Bosh. We could have landed on Chris Bosh. Oh, yeah. We could have gotten Cam Newton. That would have been the easy one. I went to... Oh, Derrick Rose. Derrick Rose. Hey, buddy. Hi.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
All right, who wants to learn about Louisiana? I would like to. Billy does. Willie does. Me. Lauren does. When France owned Louisiana, they were trying to populate it, and as an incentive to, maybe not an incentive, but as a way to get people over there, they would give prisoners their freedom in exchange for marrying a prostitute and moving to Louisiana. Wow. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
They're prisoners. Could you imagine? Okay, you're in jail for the rest of your life. Here's an offer. You get to marry a prostitute and eat gumbo like there's no tomorrow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I'll take a po' boy and your finest whore. Thank you very much. That's awesome. No, I loved it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You are probably right that the prostitute... In my head, it was like, well, the prostitute still has to agree, but I guess back in the day... I'm sure the prostitute was down too, right? She's making money hand over ass. Were they giving you property? You get to see Derek Carr shred up defenses. Were you getting property when you went there? I don't know. Probably.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You're making money hand over dick as a prostitute in France, and you're telling me I got to move to the bayou? Yeah, I guess honestly living in the bayou before air conditioning... It's a nightmare. They probably told me it was paradise, though. Yeah, I don't even understand how people populated the American Southeast before air conditioning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Well, yeah, I know why they did it. I just mean, like, I would be like, I'd rather be, like, literally homeless somewhere where the weather's nice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yes, yes, yes, that one. Matthew McConaughey is like a sweaty lawyer the whole time. Someone gets raped and he's got to get to the bottom of it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Dallas Buyers Club? Look up Matthew McConaughey, sweaty lawyer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Hey, bud. I was at my dad's house this weekend, and the shower in the bedroom that I stay in is... So you get in there, and there's three knobs, which already...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Teach me something. Let's hear it. Paul Revere.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah, what are you doing? I was just looking at her. She's my friend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Some say he's still riding, by the way. 250 years of America. That's true. He's still looking. I know. And anyway, I was reading about Paul Revere, because I was just... Are you saying Paul Revere? Revere. No, that'd be sick, though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Sounds like chill as hell. Yeah. Actually, when I wrote it in my notes app, it auto-corrected to Paul Reverse. The British are chilling. His horse is flying backwards and he's like, they're coming! Yeah, he's like, it's fine. That's Paul Reverse. He's like doing the opposite. Yeah. No, no, no. No one's coming. Paul Reverse is two if by land, one if by sea.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Anyway, he was, like, not the only guy. There was, like, a whole crew of those guys. He didn't even go the farthest. He was, like, the only one who got caught, actually.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah, and then they, like, Longfellow wrote a poem about him, and now he's, like, the goat. And I just think he got shafted. I think all those other guys got shafted.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
i don't like that overwhelming stuff none of them are labeled and so what through trial and error i figured out the middle one is either tub or shower simple enough yeah and then the cold goes uh counterclockwise and the hot goes clockwise and trying to find a thing where it just equals a normal temperature yeah was like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It's been paused on the same number for a while.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It sounds like they're like... The top comment is like, you almost played music. So it sounds like they're playing like... Okay, they are playing this song that I actually like now that I looked it up. But the song itself... is kind of deconstructed. And so if you're an amateur trying to recreate it, it's kind of a hat on a hat. You're double dipping.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I think I need to hear this. I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. Even if you're playing it perfectly... It's like an experimental sound.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
So these girls are playing it, and it just made me laugh because it is not a great song to do a cover of to play. Let's just give it a shot, Laura. Because there's not a lot for them to play. Like, the girl in the back is not playing a note yet. No. She's playing the bass. Is she? Looks like. Yeah, but she hasn't strummed yet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I know. I just thought the nails clacking on the guitar. That was not that great, but that has 97,000 likes. It's just they're hot girls playing a guitar and bass.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
how accurate was this of a representation not there not not not very i think this is like i might be i might be looking into this too much but like a lot of people agree agreed with me that i just thought it was i thought it was funny that like it was like let's i'm gonna throw on a bikini and played like two notes of the bass like i thought that was funny i don't know
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Like, I felt like I was in, like, an old-timey ship steam room being like, more!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Do you think that was, like, worth 100,000 likes?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It doesn't. I just thought it was a funny song to, like, put out when you, like, are, like, learning the guitar. I don't know. I understand. All right, I'll fall on the sword. It's not funny that they did that. I'm sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I just don't think it gives them a chance to fully showcase their... Yeah, I'm just kind of like, are they like a band?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
oh it's a beauty page oh yeah the drums sound very stock in the background like you just hit like the first drum loop you saw a guitar that is that funny enough that is the only part from the real oh that's their actual i just thought it was a hard it was a hard song to pick to put yourself out there yeah and i just thought it was funny that it blew up because i was i was trying to get i didn't find it why did why did this blow up
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I'll admit it. I apparently am crazy. I thought this was hilarious. I'm sorry you guys didn't see the humor in it. I don't have any hot take on it. I found it relatively unremarkable.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Just in general. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was just like... I guess that's what I thought was funny. It was just kind of like a normal thing. I know, but when you stumble upon a video of people playing instruments and it has 100,000 likes, you're like, I'm about to get my mind blown.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
the sinks in our house get a thousand degrees same and i feel like i feel like a dis like uh i feel like an unintelligent person every single day because i burn my hand like every day yeah like i don't know all the sinks because i had that for a little bit too they just like you can't make them cold no it's like you have to turn it's like hot nozzle cold nozzle and you have to turn a little bit of the cold on as well to like make sure it doesn't get too hot
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And then it was just like a normal song. Fair enough.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I thought that was fucking hilarious. How about this? You're going to like this one. This is a wedding.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
For anyone listening at home, this man accidentally flipped the camera around to his own face during the exact moment he kissed her.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
But that also implies he was using his iPhone on Snapchat. Because he accidentally flipped the camera by touching it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Maybe he was like, I need to get it in perfect. Perfect.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
We all look at when you're not expecting to be on camera. Everyone looks insane. But that was like a jarring. Let him kiss. Show it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
But it couldn't have been a... Or wait, it has to be a bit because it's from a different angle than the other camera. Look it. Now he's on the right side. It flips when you do the selfie camera.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Should we do... Wait, I already said that, didn't I? All right, should we do pool dives that don't exist or first date ideas that don't exist, Billy?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
All right, Willie, tee us up. These are pool dives that don't exist. All right, I got the silver surfer. One diver falls forward so that he is parallel with the water, and then the other guy jumps on and rides him like a surfboard, and then he belly flops while the other guy is standing on him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
60% of the time that it's been done in competition, the person that has been the surfboard has unfortunately passed away.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
40% of the time it was fucking awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
That's really good. Thank you. I've got the phone wallet keys. Right after diving, the diver realizes that he has his phone wallet and keys, and he tosses them out one by one. He goes, phone, wallet, keys, and then lands. It's fucking sick. I thought it was going to be like he dived and was like, you know, like the pat down. Well, he does that, but it's successful.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It's like, girder, where you moving? Can you start the car and drive it off?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
alright I got the hammer throw we're all familiar with the Olympic event the hammer throw where it's the thing on the end of a string and you spin around and then you throw it again it's a tandem dive one diver grabs the other by his ankles spins around in a circle and tries to throw him over the pool I like that a lot it's a test of strength I should have done more duos things I didn't realize that I didn't even think about diving duos it was a very selfish list I put together I just don't think anyone else could pull these off
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
But, like, every day I'm, like, washing my hands and I instinctively just, like, crank and go, like, fuck!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
no that's like uh i thought it was gonna be like like you jump ass first and then at the last second you poop so hard that you get like you get like shot i did consider that at one point i'm not gonna lie dude when i was uh coming down that mountain i thought i was gonna shit myself so bad like the whole time and i like couldn't you know it wasn't on my phone at all and at the end i took the most satisfying poop of all time while looking at my phone for the first time in 10 hours and it was the most dopamine i have ever felt in my entire
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I've done this 14 days in a row. You would think I would learn. It's like that social experiment where they, like, put a guy in a room and the only thing in there is a button that shocks him. And they see how long you have to – or how bored a guy has to get before they just start pressing it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Is it you, mate? Is it you, really, or is it me? It's me. I've got the light reading. You dive off with a little paperback book in your trousers. Midair, crisscross applesauce, read a page, close it, land. Stop midair to read? Yeah. That's incredible.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And you've got to, with your face, go like... Huh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
All right. I got the Ray LaMontagne. How do I know? What's the singer? Ray LaMontagne sings Hold You In My Arms. Okay. So the song starts playing, two divers spoon on the edge of the thing. Yep. And then they roll off the platform and hold each other tight and let Mother Nature do her worst. I love that. Again, pretty high mortality rate, but if you land it, it is lots of points.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
From LA, bro. I don't talk about that guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah. I don't want to dive. I don't want to dive today. It's like a hostage situation.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yes. I like that. This is the dry flyer. You get some webbed skin and you attach it in between your arms. Just enough to be able to cruise a few feet. You jump off as if you're going to dive into the pool. Reveal your webbed skin. Fly a few feet forward and land safely and dry on the edge of the pool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
perfectly named yeah i must say perfectly yeah and so you're and it's just you're just like oh i'm here i'm chilling i love it i'm chilling now and maybe you put sharks in the water so it's higher stakes yeah my favorite part of the dive is the first step super simple just go get yourself some web skin right yeah pick some up they've got there's a guy with webbed fingers in a movie i watched yesterday harry potter
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
watching goblet of fire in your mouth something in your mouth it's the nemo it's the like algae that he eats yeah yes no it was um memories of murder nice never heard of it all right should we do first date ideas willie Yes. I think so. Everyone do your first eight ideas. Oh, first... Sorry. These are the best possible first dates you can go on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It's like they put him in a waiting room in – What always confuses me is they'll be like, we did this study under the guise that they were waiting for another study. And that's how they get them to be their authentic self. But if I'm waiting for a study and there's a button that electrocutes me, I'm probably going to have the presence of mind to be like, I think this is probably the experience.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You find out where their ex waits tables, and then you surprise her by going there and requesting them as their server. Happened to me. Really? Happened to me. In college. My girlfriend had gone her separate ways and was dating a new guy who... It was a complicated situation, but I wasn't on great terms with either of them, and they came on a date to the restaurant I worked at.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It wasn't a first date. Intentionally? Well, it was, like, the kind of go-to restaurant for, like, BC kids. But they knew you worked there. Yeah, but, like, I wouldn't blame them. Like, the odds of, like, I don't know. A lot of people would eat there, and anyway, but I was their waiter, and it was just... I felt so awkward. And the funniest part is she tipped like 50%. Oh, really?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Which felt like worse. I was like, I don't want your charity. I mean, I wanted the money. I was fine. Why didn't you just like switch tables with somebody? It was like in my section. Like I couldn't, I don't know. It would have been really out of the way for someone. Also, it would have been like obvious that like, I didn't want to like, I don't want to be like every table. I can be okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
But, uh, it was really awkward. And I do remember her giving me a huge tip, which is hysterical.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It was like still raw too. I remember being like, really trust me, brother.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Nope, I'm ready. All right, you go to a high school track meet in full Kentucky Derby outfits and react to every event like you bet a lot of money on it. Well done, buddy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I love it. You show up to the restaurant that you agreed on for your first date with an exact doppelganger of them. And then when they show up, they feel like they're having an out-of-body experience watching you have the date that they were supposed to be on. I like that a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
uh i guess i'll go now yeah and we'll just do that all right uh oh this is good yeah you ever like it could be like a little nervous like on the first date it's like am i really gonna spend that much time just one-on-one with this person what if they're weird but you kind of want to get to figure out their vibe and get to know them perfect middle ground you go to each other's houses you don't see each other but you go to each other's houses and you zoom and so you get to see their house how they live what their vibe is while talking to them but you're not one-on-one alone with them
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I love it. I like that. All right. You take him to the highest peak of the tallest mountain, and then once you're up there, you run away. Only you know the way down. You run away screaming, watch out for skinwalkers. That's apparently what I wrote. That could be fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Uh, theater hop. You go to a movie theater and with no intention of actually watching any of the film, but you get popcorn and soda and then you place bets on a specific word being said. Uh, and then you go into a theater and you stay until one of the person's words gets said and then you get a point and then you go to the next one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I'm going to go on a limb here and say this is probably the experience.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You both free one from the men's prison and one from the women's and then you double date.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
A lot of playmates tuning in, a lot of people waiting with bated breath for this next song. I originally, when I was listening to this, thought it was a Lana Del Rey song, but it's just a girl who sounds a lot like her, and I like her vibe. It's called Every Girl Gets Her Wish. It's fantastic. I recommend you listen to it. Who's the artist?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
No name. It is by St. Evangeline. Wow. Canonized and everything? I don't know. I've been listening to it nonstop. Apparently there's a new saint that is just a millennial. He died and he's a millennial. And he's a saint now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
close francis pope francis yeah i think that in a while you're right sorry i don't know do you know pope formosis died pope formosis was the he died and then the new pope didn't like that everyone still liked formosis so they dug him up from his grave put him on trial convicted convicted of a crime and then i think wait set him on fire they like got rid of his dead body they tried his dead body there
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
They propped his corpse up in court and made him go on trial.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
We're going to do that to you, Billy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
We're going to do that to you with this podcast after you die.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
All right, Billy, do you want to plug anything before we wrap up?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
That was like your character from the live show.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Which do they comment? Honestly, let's keep it going. Spam score. No, let's hit a RIP Pope Francis. RIP Pope Benedict.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Everybody comment RIP Pope Benedict. Comment your favorite memory in the Catholic Church. I remember when Francis got picked. I was in Catholic school when it happened.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Playdate! Episode 101. Dalmatians. Yes!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
everyone remembers where they were when they just put it on the they would put on the tv just like constantly with the smoke coming so it's like the teachers be talking we just be like staring at it was really that big is that white yeah oh i was in a catholic school and this happens like once every maybe twice in a lifetime yeah you know two or three i don't know what a rare they should do a young guy
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
You can't get that far. Well, there's only 111, I think, eligible. Yeah. Out of the 138, like Pope Francis had said, these 111 are the ones.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I'm curious what happened to the end, because everyone says that the end is fucking crazy. Don't spoil it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Well, God save the Pope. Everyone comment, RIP Pope Benedict.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Cause it's two different things too.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
45 seconds to figure it out you know but i'm like in nine months i don't think i have the mental capacity to figure this out principle principle i respect that didn't someone do a sketch where it's like oh no it's like trying to shower at your friend's house and he like turns the nozzle and then like a chain falls down with like a rubik's cube on it i like that that's very funny if not that idea a lot that's ours we should do that one of those things like you can't google that yeah google that information i'm not gonna get the sketch
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
We have, we have, Billy, you can't tell anyone I said this, but I texted it to Lauren last night and then I told my girlfriend it on the plane. Billy's my favorite person to have on Playdate. I'm honored.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Which if you're not familiar, if you're going to Orlando on a long weekend, it's a lot of families taking advantage of that to go to Disney World or whatever. So it's a zoo. Like the pre-check line was going slower than the regular. It was just like a mess. There were no...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
it was lawless there were no lines it was just like a glob of people and then you would like find your way to like one or two tsa agents whatever so i'm like something happened like i because i went to school in orlando like you can tell it's normally a mess but this was beyond like the the delta line to check your bag was full with people waiting to talk to a gate agent so you're like what could have
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
What could have happened? Why do they all have questions? I get to my gate and I look out the window and there's a plane. There's a Delta plane with all the slides deployed. There's a bunch of guys just looking at it being like, this is not good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
This plane left the gate, went to take off, caught completely on fire. What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Yeah, pull this up. I actually took a picture of it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Oh, yeah. They almost hit a private jet. Yeah. What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It was still on the ground. So everyone is safe. They got out on the side. We'll put the picture that I took here. Amateur photography through the thing. Wow. And that's crazy. I don't want to say I don't want to say I'm glad it happened because I'm not glad it happened. But what I will say is there were zero first class seats available for upgrade before the fire.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
And after two opened up and I got them. So you think people were there and just like, I don't want to go anymore? Because I was checking the list all day. So someone either, two people canceled their flight. Because of that? Or something else. But I like to think that two people got nervous and I got to take advantage of the situation.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I disliked it and then went on his phone and unsent it. So, do with that what you will.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It's safe to say they probably learned from their mistake. Yeah, there's no way they're going to let it. Has anyone watched episode one of the rehearsal? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
i've not oh it came out on easter and we were praying all this so i didn't have wait what is that he is what if it was like instead of like he is risen it's like he is rising he's risen risler's birthday was on easter and he made that meme i think he no it was last week he has no because i texted in the friday beers group chat it's risler's birthday yeah that was last week that was on sunday i thought
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I don't know. I have to make some calls if it was on Sunday. Where did he turn? I got the date totally wrong.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Four, seven. Nine. I know for a fact. Nine for a fact?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Click on famous birthdays. That'll tell us everything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
November 18th. lauren what's my birthday write that down in uh may 13th yep september 11th can't forget it competition uh speaking of planes and my birthday not my birthday but i'm having a birthday party on a plane this year bill you're scorpio i am yeah the what is what is may
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I'm going to change your mind, Willie.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
I can't wait. I'm just kidding. I love having you on, Billy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eric clapton stole my wife
And to you, mentioned seeing Pettigrew on the map. The map was lying then. The map never lies. A pedigree is alive. And he's right there. Me? He's mental. No, not you. You rat. Scabbers has been in my family for 12 years. Curiously long life for a common garden rat. He's missing a toe, isn't he? All I could find of Pettigrew was his finger.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eric clapton stole my wife
The dirty coward cut it off so that everyone would think he was dead. And then he transformed into a rat. I have no clue what he just said.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
What the fuck? Dude, they are the nicest people. They are the nicest people I've ever met. That's awesome. The last two times we've gone, they come over and have a nice conversation with you. It's a fucking vibe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I might bleep the name because it's already hard enough to get a reservation, but... I can only go at 5 p.m. unless I book in like two weeks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
No, I think you can make it whenever. But like we usually do 5 p.m. and there's a line of people waiting there at 445. Wow. Damn. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Oh, I got it. Who wants to hear me pick a bone with someone again?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I don't know. i think you guys at least one of you is going to disagree with me i think or in one of you one of you is going to agree or you might might both agree could be perfect scenario i am waiting outside of um layla bagel in santa monica and the my strategy usually is like wake up early go there's no line get my breakfast whatever
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
We were having a little bit of a late start, and so we didn't get there until like 9.30. Not the end of the world. Okay. And we turned the corner. There was like a fairly long line, and I was like, all right, whatever. We'll do it. We get in line. There's this guy in front of me. Keep in mind, this is the middle of Santa Monica. We're on the sidewalk. He's not wearing shoes. His feet are...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
gross because he's been has been walking around santa monica with no shoes on i was like that's kind of odd whatever then and he's with his buddy then two girls come up and yeah stand behind us in line they see those guys they cut us in line introduce themselves to those people like this is the first time they're meeting they said like my name's will my whatever the girl's name was will i'm just just bear with me sorry
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
and then they stayed in line with those guys and i was like if you have to introduce yourself so you got cut in line you don't know yourself you don't know but it was like they had planned it or something i don't know it just came off like it was a double hinge date it was a double hinge date but they showed up barefoot but it was it was my thing i took it out i wrote down my notes immediately if you have to introduce yourself to them you don't know them well enough to cut me in line and stand with i don't think they knew him at all i think they just wanted to cut in line
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Then that makes me even more mad. I'm on your side. And no one even acknowledged us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Oh, Lord with the hammer. Come on, sick them. I love it. I love it. I agree.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
That's not true. Dude. I don't know. 18 bucks for a bagel? Don't look at me. I've been there once. I forget how much it costs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I don't know about that. It was the most mad I've ever been. I felt like I was on a prank trip. I feel like that happens all the time. Not to me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Yeah. When was the last time you got cut in line? Like every bar I've ever been to. Oh, that's different. I guess. Wait, are you saying to get a drink or to get into the bar? To get into a bar. If someone caught you in line, you would let that happen? Yeah, I feel like that happens all the time. Oh, really?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Group of people that looked like they would either be Lauren's friends or your friends. Yeah, yeah. Like, side friends. And that led to me having some interesting conversations. It was viral. We all hung out. I have a new man crush. Who? I met the fucking coolest guy in the world. Who? His name's JD. Okay. And he is buddies with my friend Jack, who you met the other day. Yes. And...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
We did a fucking... If it was a line at a bar, people would walk up and you just go like... At Bell's on Friday, we were in line and seven of our friends joined us. We did. We had a super cut when we met up with you guys. We went to super cuts. I would have been so bummed if I was in that line because it was like... You guys were like middle of the line. You cut the line. That's what I'm saying.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
But we knew you, I wasn't introducing myself to you. We were meeting up there, but like, yeah, that's gotta be devastating. There were people right behind will that were like so close to getting in the bar and then just 12 of us joined. So I guess I am not one to talk, but it was what threw me. If they knew each other, I wouldn't have batted an eye. It was the fact that they introduced themselves.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
You don't know them well enough to be cutting in line. I agree. I agree. Guys, Last Call is an after-alcohol product that actually works. We were partying it up this weekend. And let me tell you, the only thing keeping this train on the tracks was Last Call. Yeah, it's inspired by, in Korea, they use similar products. They're super popular. Everyone takes them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
And I think it's about time that our part of the world caught up. Take them after drinking. They contain DHM, which helps your body break down alcohol faster. Again, this is a time-tested ingredient that's been used in Korea for literal centuries. Guys, last call is starting to hate us because they cannot keep up with the demand from y'all.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I had to go on a boat, and I was kind of dreading it when I was going to bed. I was like, oh, this might hit me tomorrow. I felt great. I felt like a million bucks. You are able to enjoy the night now without worrying so much about those next morning scaries. Go order some at trylastcall.com slash playdate for 25% off your first order. FYI, the code automatically applies using the link.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Try it this weekend. Take it out with you so you pop it before, during, or after you drink. That's code playdate. Go order some at trylastcall.com slash playdate for 25% off your first order. Willie, you had a pretty big weekend. Making new friends? Yeah. How was that? What are you doing? Nothing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Did you make any new friends on Friday? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
yes nice that's killer what do you want me to hear i kissed a girl on friday night is that what you want to hear thank you that's all i wanted all i wanted to hear um i i'm the only one what what oh i actually did hear about that you guys are a little you guys are a little you guys are a little uh what are you talking about that's what that's what guys and girls do
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Actually, everyone was getting some on Friday. I was looking around. Everyone was getting their rocks off. It was crazy. There was this one of Lauren's friends walked into the bar and was talking to one of our friends. Was it? Yeah. No, no, pre.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Talking to one of our friends. And I was talking to Scott, I think, Willie's roommate. Who? Oh, yeah. And I was like, I think that those people are going to make out in the next five seconds. And we were like, okay. And then we turn around. Our friend is no longer with Lauren's friend. I panned 15 degrees to the left.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
And Lauren's friend and we can believe are giving everyone shit, giving each other a tongue bath in the middle of the bar. Then they were like grinding. No, I know. What is going on, man?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
What was very funny is usually when you go out and you see a really drunk person, you don't have the context of what they're like sober. I got to see her. I saw her at Santa Monica Bruco.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
uh like two hours before yeah yeah completely sober very very sweet innocent seeming and nice and then fast forward two hours later she was holding her by her ankles and they were spitting each other around the room yeah it was a name on everything everyone was being funny on friday yeah the the next game starting at 5 p.m just put put our whole crew on sort of a accelerated timeline um
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
So Jack is dating my girlfriend's friend and like Jack and I met each other through them, whatever. And I was like, this guy's going to stink. Cause you know, you don't, you have to meet like a, you'd forced to be like friends with your girlfriend's friends.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Are we going to get to see you rizzing in real life? Yeah. Let's go. You've become a little rizzler these last couple of months. All right, leave me alone. Me explaining. You're like, all right, so the crow's worth four points. She's like, I don't know how I ended up here. So this is the grassland habitat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
um yeah that was me was that night time or day that was the following morning that was me explaining wingspan to her it's very funny yeah so funny waking up at a guy's house and being like all right just gotta get out of here he's like all right very quickly i'm gonna explain the most complex board game of all time oh what else happened that night jesus christ oh i ate a bunch of taco bell oh i did too actually really yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
We went to Santa Monica Brewing Company with Ty's parents, his sister, who just graduated college, and then Flan. And we were there to watch the next game. And there was the outdoor TV. Because it was so bright out, the further away you were, the harder it was to see. The colors weren't really coming through. And there were a couple primo benches.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
And on the way in, Mrs. Stimmel said to this group of girls that looked like they were getting up soon, like, hey, if you guys get up, let us know. We got a couple huge Knicks fans over there because Mr. Stimmel and Ty are big Knicks fans. And this girl looked like this nice, sweet lady was just like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
fuck the knicks and it's like not like a bar environment there's like kids like playing and like dogs she was like fuck the knicks and then turned around and was like kind of jokingly just giving us shit like the whole time and then so z and i who were rooting for the pacers had to make it clear like every time the pacers scored we would like clap and like get up whatever like hoping she would turn around so we could be like we're on your side we're on your side and uh she finally she finally got it at the end but well the knicks had a big win yesterday huh yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Yeah. His crew. killer oh my god top to bottom top to bottom at each guy cooler than the last but there's this one guy who's just he's just uh he's like a grown grown sweetie pie you know and people just have grown up and they're just still a sweetie pie yeah it's the nicest guy i've ever met in the world that's awesome i uh i was or i ordered you all hang out dude
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Lauren, can we talk about your Riz? Who were you Rizzing? Can we talk about it? No. Why?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
You just don't give out any confidential... There's no Riz to be spoken about. So here's the thing that's frustrating. What? I feel like Willie and I are very honest with the Playmates and sometimes you're a little bashful. What? I'm going to make you cut everything. Oh. Not everything. I'm kidding.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
give us one no we're not gonna cut anything we're not gonna cut anything unless you want to unless you want i'm gonna cut like a few specific details yeah okay lauren but i'm not gonna cut what just tell us one little tidbit about your riz i want to hear about your riz man what what do you want me to say i want to hear about how you got a boy to kiss you on the cheek um what'd you say to him do we do i know him
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Oh, I thought you knew something. I knew that Lauren kissed a boy. I don't know who that was. I don't know if you know him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Yes, you totally can. You know what's funny about him? He is the most mild-mannered guy in the world. He secretly likes to party a little bit. One of my favorite stories about him in Nashville, I think we already told this, he got in the elevator. He got in the elevator to go up to his room. It's a full elevator. And the hotel that we stay at in Nashville is like, the elevator is painfully slow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Like there's only like one that's in the 24, 24, 20 floors. Apparently there were like 10 people in there. He walked into the elevator, fell into all the buttons and clicked every floor. Oh, that's hilarious. Everyone's just like, God damn it. And so everyone in the elevator had to stop at every floor while this guy could not realize what he did. Wrong, Evan.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
So that night that he did that in Nashville, I also had a big night. And him doing...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
that and apparently being way crazier after i left that's right you guys both got sent home it like deflected a lot of the like a lot of the blame off of me because they were like all right at least it wasn't him yeah he secretly likes to party a little bit yeah it was uh him him and you make the same face when you're drunk because when i go up to him and i can tell he's drunk his hair he plays with his hair a lot when he's drunk so it was like straight up and he's just like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I think it'll be fun. We'll get the gist. Let's just say it was a big party weekend. Big party.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
No, we all have our own rooms. It's kind of nice, actually. Our own suites. Our own captain's suites. Wow. I don't know if that's what they're called, but I'm the captain now. We were laughing when we were on the yacht thing on Saturday. Was it a yacht? A foreign yacht? You don't need to say yacht thing. You're starting to make a lot of money now. Just own up to it. I bought a yacht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
You have a yacht. No, no, no. Liam's girlfriend rented and her friends rented it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Apparently, it's like $1,200 for a couple hours. Three hours. For three hours. For 12 people. If you bring 12 people... It would be more fiscally responsible to rent a yacht every weekend and party there. It came with alcohol. That's what I'm saying. We brought a whole cooler full of stuff and there was already alcohol. It would make more sense to every weekend rent a yacht and party there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Yeah, he's nine. You said one the other day, too, that was nine. Really? You thought he was eight, and you got upset that I said it was nine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
No. Dude, he's... I want everyone to experience this guy. I'm going to try and get him around as many people... Anyone that I know, I hope, gets the pleasure of meeting this guy. He's truly... I woke up... Have I ever listened to a podcast and they said...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
It was fucking beast. It was a helicopter. No, that is not it. That is a helicopter. Like this? Yeah, it's more like that. No, no, no. I saw pictures. It was way bigger than that. Like this?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Oh, I thought you meant if the kids had like a Lord of the Flies mutiny to the rental and they were like, I'm the captain. I was like, yeah, man. You literally are. You can do whatever you want. Yeah, it was fun. It was fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I had two empanadas this morning. Oh, man. Oh, from Dogtown? I gotta go to the grocery, but I don't want to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I fell for one of those, you know, those like ads you get on TikTok for games that are... Ass. It's like two things. You're shooting a gun and like... Kind of.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
And I'll be like, oh, no, I don't have enough to kill the giant. And so then I have to... Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
totally it's that one but it's it's those types of ads but this one's like the plane that you like slingshot and you have to like buy wings and oh i don't know if i know about it's fucking awesome i just got it but the i always was like how are they making money off this because they're not yeah there's nothing on there i now know how they make money on because i've had it for two days i've spent 15 dollars
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
On wings? No, no, no. It was $7 for no ads for eternity and never have to watch another ad. And then I ran out of swipes, so I bought $200 for $15. That's great. So you spent $22.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
one of the hosts had met me and they were saying these kind of things it'd be the best day of my life oh i thought you're gonna say it was it would be like creepy no no i i i understand it might be a little odd he's just he's the coolest guy so i ordered a round of drinks for everyone and jd said that he wanted whatever i was having cool guy move didn't know ask no questions when they all came out i was kind of handing them back and then i looked back and he didn't have one and i
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I believe they're the number two almond butter now behind Justin's.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Oh, yeah. My dad sends the person that Lauren kissed on the mouth. My dad sent Barney butter. What? He got some? Yeah. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
All right. We have a beautiful episode for you guys today. We're going to hear. Also, fucking keep that. Keep all that Barney Butter stuff. Guys, if you're out there and you have a hankering for some.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Oh, no, no, no. This is the story. Some guy sued saying he found glass in his almond butter. And my dad was like, there's no glass in our food. Like, that's impossible. And then they did some research, and that guy had...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
filed trace amounts that guy filed lawsuits at like a hundred different companies and was just hoping every single one settled for he sued us that he found a worm in his podcast um yeah but if you guys are out there and you have a hankering for uh some almond butter some peanut butter go to your local whole foods and uh pick up pick up some barney butter
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Lauren's dad invented the raspberry. No, Lauren's dad invented blowing raspberries. So it's just like a product recognition thing. Well, they used to only be blackberries. He's the one who started dying them red. Yeah. Yeah, and then if you guys are looking to build a building in southern Maine... Make sure to call Precision Welding and Fabrication for all your steel beam needs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
And if you need fundraising software for your nonprofit, check out CallRail.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Guys, if you're looking for inspiration for your home, start subscribing to Decor Maine Magazine for all your interior design needs. Or if you're looking to advertise. Or if you're looking to find pictures of Jack's mom. I actually, there are pictures of me in some of them. They came over to do a photo shoot one time. They were doing a, I guess they were not doing a story on our house.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
My mom was doing a story on her own house. And they're photographing it. And the woman wanted like candid conversation pictures. Like it looked like we were just a family hanging out in the living room.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
yeah and so she was like all right tell a you know tell them a story or whatever and so i was just sitting there talking and she was like no you need to like do your hands or whatever so there's a picture of me with my hands like this and i'm saying i caught a fish this big and everyone's laughing it's probably a hit we'll put a picture of it right here
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
All right, guys, we're here to talk about one of our new favorite partners, Dollar Shave Club. Guys, it's no surprise that facial hair is personal. It grows from your face. We all grow it, shave it, and style it differently, and we think that's pretty great. Pretty fucking great. Pretty fucking great. It makes us all a little bit more interesting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Elephant in the room, I'm completely hairless, and I shaved myself with the Dollar Shave Club.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I thought I was just like, oh, I'm sorry. My bad. Flan said that I turned around and realized that I forgot his drink. I was like, I am so sorry. I'm not normally like this. It was just like a mental error. I could have sworn I ordered it. He was like, oh, dude, it's completely fine. He's the nicest guy in the world. He's probably sitting somewhere with his friends right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I go Club Series 6. Yeah, yeah. The handle of it is like... Oh, my God. It's a pistol grip. It's like the diamond studded. Yes. It feels great in your hand. They had one on the shoot we were on called the Heat Wave. It was like Club Series 6, but it was like really...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
like i don't know the colors were really cool it's like metallic guys they're the products shave butter i'm talking post shave do shave cream prep scrub they got freaking everything to make you feel good before after and during your shaving but don't take our word for it try for yourself dollar shave club products are now available everywhere so you can order from
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
We got a beautiful episode for you guys today. We are going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches. Then we're going to do everyone's favorite segment, Teach Me Something, followed by This Guy Rocks, This Guy Rocks, This Guy Rocks Today. Hey, hey, I said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard. He rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard. Rock in my yard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
There's rock in my yard? Wait, we should add another verse one day. When they landed on Plymouth Rock? What'd you say? The Dwayne Johnson. The rocks in my yard?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Disgusting. Is that what they're calling it these days? It's from biting... Well, it's called a yeast infection. It's... I got a fingered infection. Ew. Will didn't wash his hands. No. I have a fingered infection. I am so sorry about this, man.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
You laughed. You can't say that that wasn't silly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Yeah. Oh, you know what you could do? I was addicted to sucking my thumb when I was a kid. Yeah. And my mom bought these like clear guards.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
thing that like went over my thumb yeah she said if i kept it on for a week then i could go to cvs and buy anything i wanted cvs was my favorite store i thought that that was like where everything was and so i got a notebook so you're saying i could maybe incentivize myself with a notebook no i'm saying we should just get you the clear guards i think the nail polish would make more sense or just every morning dip your hands in shit will is just wearing these
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
He's like, that fucker didn't get me a drink. That guy Jack fucking blows. I met the biggest dick, dude. He purposely didn't get me a drink. Yeah. You had a big weekend, Willie. We had a viral weekend. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
You think I could pull off gloves? Leather gloves. It's the opposite of fingerless gloves. It's only finger gloves.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Well, that's how you prevent a fingered infection. You start wearing these. Yeah, that's what we eat. When I cut my hand and make a barbecue. That's the fucking... Well, Willie, I just want to say I'm very proud of you. I haven't done it yet. That's my second infection in pretty recent. We're going to find a cure. We're going to find a cure.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I don't think there's any... I'm happy that you want to better yourself, but I've never... If you think you're walking around and people are seeing your fingers, I've never... The only time I noticed it was when you showed me one time. I know. It's just like I'm too old to be fucking biting my fingernails like a baby.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
it's just when it's so gross the infections are so gross i see does it reek yeah oh it smells yeah actually yeah is that why it's gross yeah well it's this is people are gonna like stop listening i don't even want to hear this but like to do to treat it you have to like lance it what does that mean like pop it with i'm done i'm done i'm done pop what i'm done
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
It like balloons up in your cuticle with pus. All right. All right. All right. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
When you pop it, it reeks. Ew, dude. Did you ever hear about that guy who... God. His wife... I'm so sorry. His wife was like... They'd been married forever. His breath never smelled bad. And then one day...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
like one month it was just like oh my god like your your breath like fucking reeks should you have to go to the dentist he had like some abscess in the back of his mouth and when the doctor uh was trying to like check out what it was he accidentally popped it and it smelled so bad all the nurses threw up in their masks oh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
We stopped at the sky rocks. After the sky rocks, we're going to do the office plots that don't exist. I'm excited. I'm excited about that as well. And then ways to ask someone to hang out. I don't know if mine are good. Mine are not good, but it's awesome because we're doing it together. Yes. And then we're going to do Rusty's song of the day. I believe we have 2,500 of you now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Tony Romo. Tony Romo. Google Tony Romo naked. Okay, we are also getting into... I'm a Romosexual. It's just a fun play on words. We can probably start doing ages now, too. Oh, the Rizzler. How old is the Rizzler? Eight? Seven? Rizzler? That's not the way you spell it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
You need like one like ringleader. Here's the game plan.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Big boat. It was fun. It was... Yeah, Flan and her friends said they saw you out after. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I... They were on my street. Yeah. Apparently Liam and Will were out smoking a cigarette and one of Flan's friends said that Liam and I look a lot alike. And that was like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Guys, I'm going to go out on a limb and say I think she's in the right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I thought you were going to say they brought out a birthday cake and the candles like popped the balloon. No, that would have been funny too though. Did you see that video of those girls? They brought their friend out to dinner and they thought they put like the sparkler candles in it, but there were fireworks. Oh my God. Look up like birthday cake fireworks accident. It's fucking wild.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
They kind of did. That's hilarious. You can hear them like, pew! And crack in the background.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I mean, can you get sued for that? I feel like, yeah. Maybe, right? Maybe. I mean, how do you... You're not allowed to. There's some funny guy in the group that didn't think it was going to be that bad, but he thought it was going to be a little bit bad. Or maybe he bought them. He didn't realize his birthday dinner was at a restaurant.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
The guy behind them handled it pretty well. He just turned it was that's like the face I give someone if they're like talking too loud at a restaurant. Yes. I wonder like, yeah, I guess you can do that. Like the restaurant's never going to check to make sure they're not fireworks. Yeah. Or that's like Al-Qaeda's latest attack. Al-Qaeda's here?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
They change everyone's birthday candles with fireworks for one year. One year. How do they keep doing this? All right, hit us with a pitch, Laura.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
that's completely fine to me it's just i'd never made that yeah and then i don't agree but then that girl lost all all uh credibility because she was like trying to explain it she was like in the same way that like you and willie kind of look like and i was like okay the three of us look absolutely nothing like we're on a spectrum totally we're all on a spectrum but we my friends always mix you guys up
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
First time pitcher. Who is it? Garrett Cole. Who's the guy? Paul Skeens last year. Okay. Sorry. I agree. Good. I was right there with you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
It's usually because one guy has to pee, and then you have to get your pee out, even though you don't really have to. It's just trying to time it so everyone can get the right snacks. Or you get off, and the first gas station is kind of far down the road.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
That's fantastic. That would actually be great. So instead of searching for a gas station, you search the snack you want, and it tells you where it is. Yeah. Okay, this is maybe a hot take. I think there are enough snacks that I like that that's not ever an issue. I always find something I want. Yeah, like I'm never going to be in a gas station and they don't have anything I like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
There was a gas station at the top of my road and they were the only ones that had the sweet chili Jack Link's beef stick. Okay. And so I would go out of my way to go to that gas station even though there was one closer because that's where I could get my favorite snack.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, I guess I've never been like, maybe it's like, oh, I really am craving like a burger or a cheesesteak or something or a hat. But like not like a specific craving hat. All right. I love that jacket last night. You got one crazy hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Dude, the girl that came over last night gave me the craziest hat. What? It's a green top hat. Sparkles.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I don't know. I don't know. Given that context, I don't know. Wait. Be a kid? He says... Shoot your friend in the face with a paintball gun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Me and Willie? I think it's just because we have the pod together, too. And we dress the same. Yeah. But that made me realize, okay, this person doesn't know what they're talking about. She just thinks all men look the same. If you think that me, you, and Liam look a lot alike. Yeah. And Lauren looks like us, too. We're the first three men. It's someone who just thinks humans look a lot alike.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Call a lawyer. I love that. Call a lawyer. Do not say anything. They should call a lawyer and don't say a fucking word. Just keep him on the line. I'll be there in a second. I think that... I think we should take this up a notch. Because if it's just a normal field and pads, guys are going to get hurt and winded, and it's not going to be as fun as you think.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I think you take a note out of sky zones. Okay. Trampolines? It's just a saw. It's like one of those basketball courts that's like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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softer so there's no when you fall down you can still run on it and everything but well my question is did you ever play tackle football in like sixth grade yeah like this isn't that isn't necessarily like a related like i don't know that me and my friends would have any idea what we were doing yeah i wouldn't want to hit my friend like tackle my friend at full speed i think i think football helmet i'd be worried i was gonna hit my own head i think you would i think you'd want to if i got you in the pads you'd be excited
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Maybe. I've never worn football pads in my life. But you'd have – they'd also – maybe you can – with that, you can rent – like, it comes with, like, an offensive and defensive line. So it's just you and your buddies go out there and only play, like, the skilled positions. Yeah, that could be better.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Really? I didn't know this about you. Well, I emailed the coach. I was like, I want to play football. Was this at Oceanside? No, no, no. I didn't go to Oceanside. I went to Academic Magnet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I was tiny. Oh, you didn't... He lost you at pads? Or just lost me at any sort of actual realization of what I had just signed up for.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Like I was like not totally confident and I was so scared. And so I just told both of them that I quit before I ever showed up. Like this kid's got heart. Yeah. And then I ended up playing soccer that like coming spring, but. There were always a couple kids every year that they realized going into their senior year, this is my last chance to play a sport I haven't played yet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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One of my best buddies did just the two-a-day. He signed up for the football team, so he was in the middle of summer doing it with them and then quit once the season started because he realized he didn't like football. The only reason people are doing that is doing the two-a-days, the brutal summer shit, sacrificing your whole summer.
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is to get to is to get to play real football and apparently he's like great and then he quit right before i was like i i think he realized like he couldn't go to the football games like he like oh they were so yeah he like loved going to them and then he loved like he wanted a party on fridays and stuff and i think he realized like i'm not gonna be able to he realized you can't play and be and watch the game at the same time you have to pick one
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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That's insanity. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, he did cross country. Wait, how was he not a good athlete, but he did that? I mean, I think by the end of it, he was decent, but the New Orleans, we weren't.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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In the same way that, like, you and Lauren look alike. You're like an alien. What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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That's like one above what Phil, my buddy Phil, did a varsity sport every year, every season for four years. I think he was captain six of those times. I was captain of the golf team. There you go. All right. Pew, pew. What's the worst part about seeing a dog you want to pet? It has a boner, and so it feels like you're getting it off when you pet it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Two good options. Two good options. You don't know if the dog and the owner are down to be pet or to let you pet them. And the owner. You don't know if the dog's friendly. You don't know if the dog's shy. Like, there was a dog at coffee this morning, and you could tell it wanted to be pet because it was, like, looking at you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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But every time you put your hand down, it, like, got skittish and walked away. There should be a collar that has a slide thing on it where there's a clear part and you can slide it so a different color is on it. Oh, it's like a bathroom sign? Yeah, yeah. Occupied? Red means doesn't want to be pet and there's a threat of it biting you. Yeah. Purple is like it doesn't want to be pet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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But that's just because it's shy. It has nothing to do with you personally. And then the other one is it's open to be pet, but it doesn't like everyone. And then green is like full steam ahead, wants to be pet by everybody. I like that. So you can be like, that is a dog that is open to being pet right now. Full steam ahead.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And the one that's like, it needs to be pet or it's going to freak the fuck out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Well, the owner kind of conferences with the dog and it knows. Dogs don't talk English. Dogs don't talk English. They're Portuguese.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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All right, pitch me, Willie. Burping. Burping. Come on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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This was devastating. This was a financially crippling week. Devastating. Devastating. I just get drunk, and then I get excited, and I want to buy everyone drinks, and... I got some requests that I'm going to recoup some of it, but the upfront hit was pretty mind-blowing. Oh, you request people for drinks after? Or you're saying for like... Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Like every drawing of an alien looks the exact same. If they had only seen one of us and they had to start doing cartoon sketches, we would all look like them. I learned a fun alien fact. You want to hear it? Hit me. It's a double whammy for you because it's aliens and it's Star Wars. Okay. E.T. 's species are in Star Wars. What does that mean?
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I feel like the way I... Not like if it's like, I'm going to get you a drink at the bar, but we like sat at Jameson's for like hours and we're all ordering drinks and food. The way I pitch it, I've left myself like no loophole to go through to be like that I maybe would want some of that money back. Like the way I'm asking people if they want a drink is like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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No, this was like we sat at a table and had a waiter at the end. I said, I'll put my card down. Yeah. I will say when someone's doing that at Jameson's, I there's no part of me that is going to pay them unless they request me. Yeah. Yeah. But I think about it. Yeah. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So it's just a little setting on your barbershop. I love that. I like that. You let them know if you want to talk. I also, you could put in, you could discreetly put pictures of the haircut you want so you don't have to do the thing where it's like, I want to look like this hot guy. I like that too, yeah. That's what Theo James did when we got our haircuts next to each other.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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and uh it was like an old photo of him or something yeah it was like an old photo of him from white lotus probably oh when i was in high school i only wanted like the standard white guy haircut but i did not ask for it so i just showed him coach taylor from uh friday night lights what is that google google coach taylor friday night lights just like insane mohawk i just showed him that oh classic white guy just give me that that's funny
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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the uber comfort conversation thing reminds it's one of my favorite tweets of all time it was trying to figure out if the barber can tell i'm i lied about my job and he goes ocean king sounds stressful he goes it can be i saw that uh all right Should we do teach me something?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Lauren, I'm going to airdrop you a photo, and Willie, I want you to close your eyes until I tell you to open them, okay? Can you do that for me? Can I talk? Can you be brave? Yeah, you can totally talk. Can I hear? Yeah. Can I hear? Wouldn't it be fun if you could close your ears?
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William. Y'all, yeah. Keep your eyes closed, William. I'm about to show you a map of Central Europe before the unification of our present day countries as we know them now. Okay. This is dated 1444. And I think you and I both really like like fantasy stuff and kind of like imagining new worlds and exploring new places.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I think that you and I would both like it better if we lived in a place that looked like this. Open your eyes. These are all the countries back in the day in 1444.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Isn't that cool? You could like, like each place was probably like a new world with like new customs and culture and stuff. Isn't that sick?
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It was just like a fucking crapshoot. Germany was a fuck show.
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everything else is like still like reasonably sized things and then germany is like every four feet is a different house yeah but isn't that cool like there's a new lord in each play if you get banished from one like banishment now is a big thing it's a big problem big problem if you get banished like you gotta yeah this you get banished and walk like six feet to the left and you're like i'm in hamburg i know i got banished from santa monica it's such annoying
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When they're at a council meeting, if you zoom in on those little pods they float in when they're all voting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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such annoying what did he do he uh you know the pier he tried to set it on fire is this true yeah who is it scott Scott Seeger set the Santa Monica Pier on fire. That's why you guys live right on the Venice line. Yeah, right on the border. He can't come in this way. All right. Teach me something, Willie. All right. Did you know about... Have you ever heard of Mark Twain?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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When the Senate gets together, one of the planets... Sorry.
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And it failed. And apparently it led to, like, his family, like, no longer had, like, any of the wealth that he had, like, worked so hard to, like, accumulate.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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He just, the only way to write books was on the competitor's typewriter.
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Out of principle, I won't do it. It was just funny. That's hilarious. What a cool guy.
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um all right should we do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey all right lauren bro always airdrops yeah i love it yeah but then it makes you lauren have to take an extra step so this is uh an account called bass and bougie okay it's a guy who likes fishing and his wife is taking a video of him coming back from a fishing trip with his quote side piece which is his boat
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So let's just see these people. He's got a side piece. Every once in a while I see a middle-aged couple, and it is everything I want out of life 30 years from now. So let's give it a shot, Lauren.
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Pull up E.T. in Star Wars. If you zoom in on one of the pods, it's just a bunch of E.T. 's. Go to that first one. Oh, that's sick. Isn't that cool?
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Isn't that awesome? Wait, they're so cute. So originally I saw this video and I was like, oh my God, she's about to like bust him for cheating or something. Because like the side piece thing really threw me off. Got it. Yeah. And then it was just like, it's just two people that are in love with each other. He said he's going to smoke you like a pack of Lucky Strikes.
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And she was like, that's a country song I can get with. And then I think he said he was going to smoke her like a Lucky Strike. Yeah. Smoke you like a Lucky Strike.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I think that's a completely reasonable dream.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So for Willie and I, it'll probably be when we're 35. For you, it'll be whenever you find a husband that can do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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No, realistically, I think that in five years, Playdate will have made us all multi-multi-millionaires, and we are going to live next to each other. Why'd you laugh at that? You don't think we're going to be successful? I think we're, well, I don't know. Hopefully.
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Which that means that there are humans in... Except this was a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
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A billionaire? Yeah, you just have to get a billion dollars. You were going to do the math, and then you realized the amount of money we have is literally... I'm halfway there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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They say that maybe the Saudi family are trillionaires because we don't have access to their... We can't see their finances the same way we'd be able to see an American person's, but they... Basically, they have unlimited money because of the oil money. Yeah. Damn. But an individual, I doubt it. I doubt there's an individual who's really there.
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That guy should be banned from Star Wars. Isn't that fucking insane?
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They are, but also, here's the thing. If the guy just liked bras, he would have taken the sports bra. The fact that he needs it to be underwire only means he's doing some sick and twisted... I mean, he's covering himself with them. Is that what was on his face? Yeah, he had them all over his face and sealed his car. Wait, I thought he was wearing like a... He is a sick and twisted puppy.
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That guy should never be able to buy coffee again. I don't think that guy rocks for the record.
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I think that we should look into that guy. All right, should we do the office plots that don't exist? Yeah, I'm excited for that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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These are the office plots that don't exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, that's very nice. I like that a lot. This is kind of in a similar vein. The company can only afford to pay half of the workers bonuses. And so Michael comes up with an idea to have a company wide IQ test. And so that the smartest people will get the bonuses. Michael takes it for fun and realizes that his IQ is technically special needs.
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And so in order to get in touch with his new culture, he watches Forrest Gump and Rain Man and stuff to learn about his new people.
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While Dwight is freaking out, we see Phyllis stuffing office supplies into her purse. I love that. Michael sees a video of Google's new office online and wants to make their office mirror the smart offices of Silicon Valley. To streamline communication, everyone has a cup and string attached to each other. Mose is an AI robot.
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And Dwight throws all the trash in the lake so that it can't make it to the ocean. I love that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Also, Jack, are those new Uggs? These are old Uggs. They look so fresh. And here's my beef with them, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh man. That's really funny. Uh, There are kids smoking cigarettes outside the conference room window every day during the summer when they would normally have the windows open to let in a nice breeze. But they can't because the room would smell like cigarettes. So they hold a smoking isn't cool fair in the parking lot to try and get the kids to quit.
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But secretly, Dwight is just trying to get them to switch to vaping.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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My love be light. You want to do ways to ask someone to hang out? These are ways to ask somebody to hang out. I got room on my tandem bike. They all kind of sound like you want to fuck.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You know, these look off, right? They don't look as cool as normal Uggs. We can all agree that, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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My stories aren't going to listen to themselves. Shall we share this space? Okay, this... I didn't mean this one to sound sexual, but then when you said they all sound sexual now, I'm thinking of it this way. Maybe one. Come fill my pee pod.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Like there are peas in a pod. Like mine's open. You didn't think that would sound sexual at all? Come fill my pee pod. All right, man. Shut up. I can't do this alone. Come play catch. Want to make this group effort?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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want to play after work do you want to be in the exact same place at the exact same time isn't it odd that that's what hanging out is yeah uh my parents are out of town yeah that was so stupid that was our worst draft ever yeah i also had i need a dance partner Yeah, I think that just wasn't a good draft. Yeah, that's fine. That's my fault. No, it's not yours. Okay. Yeah, hanging out is weird.
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It's such a cute concept. I know, but it's kind of embarrassing as adults to be like, do you want to come enjoy each other's company? I don't think that's embarrassing. Oh, it's humiliating, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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turns out there i think i might have already talked about this there are two ugg brands there's one in australia which is the original one yeah and then there's an american one owned by like dockers and the american one is suing the original one to like put them out of business and so i i accidentally bought the fucking evil ones i think i have no you have evil shoes i think so yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I also had a pitch idea. We all we got. I had a pitch idea for what's the worst part about playing like physical chess on a chessboard like this instead of online. You can't take a break. You have to, like, make sure everything's centered and, like, move the pieces so that they're in the middle of the square.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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They should make a chessboard where there's magnets on each square and magnets on the bottom of each chess piece so you put it down and it automatically, like, centers it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I'm sure there's some of those out there. For me, it is. For me, it is. Probably. All right. Who's ready for Rusty's song of the day? Oh. Hit them. We're going to do Hello, Goodbye by the Beatles. It's a good song. I love it. I just learned about it the other day, and I'm more of a Paul McCartney guy than a John Lennon guy, and apparently John Lennon hated this song.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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He said it was just... Google, what did John Lennon say about Hello, Goodbye? He said it was just a bunch of nonsense. I mean, I think a lot of Beatles songs, you can make that argument. No, but he was saying there was no meaning... behind it. Yeah, Lennon remained dismissive of the song. He said,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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oh he it just says he pushed for like a different song to be oh he said i am the walrus to be the he said it was the more commercial i guess but he i there was something in the wars is way more no that's what i'm saying but he was he in his head that was much more deep and that this was just a bunch of like shit strung together that he said the decision to choose hello goodbye was one more nail in the beetle's coffin
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Yeah. I'm not a big John Lennon guy. Seems like a goofball. I'm only a serious guy. He just seemed like the worst out of all four of them. Have you ever seen that picture where it's like stay in bed, grow your hair or whatever? He basically was saying like as a protest, you should like stop working, stay in bed, go your hair out, whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And it's him and Yoko standing there while a maid does their, like cleans their bed. And all the feedback was like, you can do that because you're like a billionaire. Like, like that's not for how smart of a guy he was. I don't understand how he didn't see that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're going to love what happened.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I go, I go, uh, George Harrison, uh, Paul McCartney, Ringo, John Lennon, in terms of guys I would want to kick it with. Yeah, I don't know if any of me and the Beals would, like, I don't know if I would hang out. I think you and Ringo would get a kick out of you. He'd be like, I'm playing the drums. All right, we love you guys so much. Have a great rest of your Wednesday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Have a great rest of your week. Drive safe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Drive safe on the weekend. Have fun with your friends, and we'll see you guys bright and early on Monday. We love you so much. Comment which Beatle you think would like Willie the most.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Drumming away. Bye, guys. Later. Lauren, play that theme music.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I have no way of telling if they're the... But they feel shittier than everyone else's Uggs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I'm pretty sure there's two separate... Yes, but now I think they had to change it to Ugg since 71 or whatever because... Oh. Can you imagine if a new podcast started and they were like... First of all, how dare you? They were like, we are the Playdate podcast. And they just sued us until we couldn't be... Like, that's insanity. How is that legal? Yeah, wait, but it's in a different country?
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They got the licensing in the US. That's how it's legal. But it's like...
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how could any judge be like i'm gonna side with the evil the evil guys it's like an old like 90s disney predicament where like big business is like putting the little and they're just like well that's how it goes i think that we should start a third ugg podcast okay and sue both of them am i picking up what you're putting down right now
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He's nine. All right. The Rizzler app. This is our Rizzler app. Lauren, give me Deuce Tatum. Deuce Tatum. Is he that old? In my mind, he was like five. In my mind, the Rizzler was like five.
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Wait, can I just before you play this alone? This is like how a guy with schizophrenia would tee up a video that like he was getting gang stalked. We're like, it's if it starts on the salad. That to me is like a nuts guy being like there were little guys. I had to reveal man.
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Yeah. That is... At the Library Ale House. Is that place good? I've never been there. So good, yeah. Wait, really, break this down for me. What, how, who, and when?
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Where is this, Santa Monica? Yeah, just on the street. Oh, okay. I knew I'd... Okay, yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And at first, I didn't have anything to do with he knew who you were or there's no shot. I don't know. There's no shot. This could be your first paparazzi moment. You got the B-team paparazzi coming out. Can I give him some advice, Willie? Yeah, please. I mean, my advice is that guy's a fucking creep. Totally.
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I think that my – also, I like Scott's positive attitude towards it. I feel like if I was with you, that would get old for me. Oh, we were both just cracking up. In a second. Did you say anything to him? Like, stop.
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That says a year ago, though, so he might be seven. Play date. This has been the longest weekend of my life. Very long. It has felt very long. I don't remember what life was like when it wasn't. I agree. Yeah. It's been a fun weekend. I was kind of partying it up, though. I saw you out a couple times. I was having fun. You were tearing it up.
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Is he allowed to do that? You're in public, I guess.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It was harmless. You should have spread your butt cheeks and put them against the window so all his streams got shut down.
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Do you think he's... He must be making money off of this if this is like... What? Like, there are people that just go out. There's someone making money off of me and Scott eating white bean hummus. I think there are people out there that, like, don't go outside. And so they, like, get their fix by watching this.
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live no i bet it's a lot i bet it's just a live stream you can just tune in it's like main street santa monica oh that's true people can like live vicariously through this bizarre bizarre i've been on tiktok and it comes up like we ho bars and it'll be random people like filming everyone walking into the bars i don't like this guy and i think that he should be put down okay dude
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sorry um i i think i think that's a like you're making money off of this i kind of respect but you're willie you're an interesting person to this for this to happen to because you don't care about being filmed there are people out there that that would probably make them that would like ruin their night and they would like they would not feel comfortable this would be hysterical to me too i would be like i think that i would i think i would have to say something i'm shocked you didn't say something
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Rajon Rondo. Yes. Or Matt Stafford. Yeah, and you said one last week. You said one today. Matt Stafford, can you look him?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I mean, yeah, I didn't even cross my mind. Did the restaurant go outside and be like, hey, stop doing this? No, they didn't see it. I went to pick up my viral pizzas yesterday. A couple VPs? You know, I'm like obsessed with Companion, that restaurant in San Mario. Oh, yeah, yeah. Is it on Lincoln? It is on Lincoln. They don't do delivery, so if you order the pizza, you have to go there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
And yesterday was the last day they were doing Hawaiian pizza. The last day? Ever? I think they, like, rotate them. It was, like, the special. Got it, got it. So they, like, aren't going to do it for the foreseeable future, which I actually think is smart because I was, like, not going to get Companion. But then I was like... They built demand, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Yeah, when's the next time I'm going to want to do it? Also, I was talking about this yesterday. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
their their strategy is very interesting where it's like there's not a ton of seats so there's never any reservations you can't order delivery so you have to go there and then there's like stuff like these types of pizzas where it's like it's going to be gone so they create this like scarcity thing where people like feel like they need to yeah i think it's really smart but uh but so i go what we do for our podcasts
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Because people want it every day. Right. We're really holding strong. We only do it twice a week now. But I went and it was the best pizza I've ever had. The Hawaiian pizza.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I need to go. That's high praise. I think it's the best pizza in LA. Let me rephrase. It's the best pizza in LA. But they're so nice. I showed up. They said, like, great to see you again. They, like, knew that we had been there before. Like, I think they all... It's a tight-knit group that works there. Companion. The owner came out and said hello.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
There was also... I think there was a lot of confusion on...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
it's like pizza salad pasta pastry you can it's a I think it's a coffee shop during the day but there's like a record player playing they'll come and put a new put a new record on what a vibe tell you a little bit about it it's a fucking vibe in there wait what is where does that word come from companion yeah The word comes from the Latin roots calm, with, and panis.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
I don't want to hear about your panis comb.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
So those people down there, that's the guy that owns it. And his wife owns it with him as well. I believe they own Dudley.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
friday was that when we all went out together friday was a viral hangout there was a lot of confusion as to at least on my part i don't know if you guys experienced this like who knew who yes 100 so like i would be talking to people like at bells i feel like we're all just like circling around each other under the assumption that it was like one of lauren's friends or like one of your friends but what had happened was i think lucas brought like a ragtag
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
They also own Dudley Market? I believe so. And then they own... Not No Bar? They own Not No Bar, I believe, and they own... Dang. What's it? Narwhal Coffee? Yeah, yeah. That's right. Yeah. I'm only positive about Companion and Narwhal, but I think they're involved with Dudley is what I gather.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Dude, but the guy that owns it, scroll up on him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
He's like orange. Or not orange. He's like 30. He's got a mustache. He's got a mustache.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
As always, Plated is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining the potty landscape. Thanksgiving, guys. I like my suitcase.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
There's this video I've been going around, and I've never been tagged in something more. It's a guy... And he's in like some mountain town and he's right next to a bear and he's just not afraid of it. He's like filming it and like growling at it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And when I came out, yeah, they were ready to fucking riot. That's hysterical. I talked him off. I guess footy was, like, going to bat for me. Yeah. Like, no, no, no, he's a good guy. That is funny. Like, what would they have done? Stormed the bathroom? No, I think it was like they were ready to kick my ass when I came out. Yeah, that would have sucked.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And that lock that holds the Hanano bathroom shut is holding on by a thread. So if they decided to... Any amount of pressure... They could torture you. That lock is more of like a formality. It's like illegal. Oh, I was just remembering, too, on my flight out to New York City. Right. I would get off the plane.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Well, first of all, one of those stupid fucking cars pulled up and like dropped someone off. So I was like, clearly there's someone like. It's me. Pretty famous. Yeah, I was. I was like. I'm not even on this flight. I was like, yeah, you just wanted to say what's up. He just came and dapped me up and then leaving it back in the car.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I was like, oh, there's probably someone like pretty famous on this flight. Obviously, I now know, you know, the bar is a lot lower than. I mean, it's kind of only a Lester's. And then we were getting off and I, I, I sniped it or I go to the bathroom and I walk up to a urinal as a guy's coming out of it and I take his urinal and it's like, holy fuck. It was Ron Howard. You know what it is?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Ron Howard? The basketball player? He's the narrator in Arrested Development, but he's from Happy Days. Oh, nice. But the funny part of the story is that I was like, is that fucking Ron Howard? Because I barely know what Ron Howard looks like. He's like a Hollywood legend. And then I go over to the sink, and he has a monogrammed backpack. That's awesome. It has his initials right there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
So I was like, oh, perfect. That's cute. That answers that. Yeah, exactly. I was like, I feel like if you're him, you wouldn't want that. Wait, did it say Ron Howard or did it say RH? RH, RWH. Yeah, I think that the Delta car still holds up. It's kind of only A-listers. I know, right? That is a good look for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, did I tell you who it was between the time I... It was between me and the woman who... The wife in Talladega Nights. Oh, yeah, I think he did say that. So it does... Because it is... Who the hell is that, though? Who's the wife in... No, that's kind of the point that I'm getting at, is it's like... I guess it's mostly for...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
people that are still able to fly commercial you know what i mean like ron howard is like a a list but i guess to your point it's like he's he's super famous but you most people might not be able to like immediately be like i know him from that i think old people would okay because he was a star of happy days which i think was like yeah it was before our time though yeah yeah but i yeah i mean i got it over lethal shooter so who's lethal shooter basketball coach
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And I've gotten tagged in it a hundred times saying it looks like me and I don't think it looks like me. So you guys tell me. Well, we did say you're a bear. Oh my God.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Oh, yeah, that's right. I forgot about Lethal Shooter. I was watching football on Sunday. Nice! That's guy shit right there. Yeah, I'm back into football. You know how we were like not... I'm not into it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
That's what I'm saying. It's like I'm back into it now. I went two Sundays without watching much. I watched a couple games, but they do this thing before the games start where it's like an in-the-lock... Point to us? No, it's like... It's like an in-the-locker-room camera of the players getting ready, and they're getting ready to go to battle.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And I took a video of it, but they are showing each player, and they're taping their wrists, and they're picking out what cleats they're going to go. And then it goes to Caleb Williams, and he's cracking up at a TikTok on his phone. That's awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
We'll put the video right here. It's not worth pulling up, but I just want you to see it. This is going to go crazy. I can already tell. I'm fucking so fired up. Okay, so you got that guy. Okay, they got another guy. For anyone watching at home. Yeah, that is awesome. He's just on his phone. He's scrolling. Cracking up at a TikTok. What else do we got to talk about? Dude, why the hell is Lint?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Why is Lint blue? Lint blue. Oh, I think I want to move to New York. I'm so sold after this. I knew this was just going to happen. Not even because of that fucking party or whatever. No, it's a better city. Yeah. Yesterday, I spent... So on Sunday night, I totally hosed Lauren. Because we were supposed to record yesterday. And I was like, I really don't want to. I was so tired.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No, the guy filming. The guy that said, oh yeah, I mean, that is some shit you would do. They're saying leave him alone, like there's not a bear in the city. Yo, what the fuck? It's not like he's minding his own business. He's in a city. Why is no one afraid of this bear?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I was supposed to get up and go to the airport at 5 a.m. It was going to be horrible. Anyway...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
uh because i host lauren then i was in new york all day yesterday it's awesome and we just walked around the city like got a bacon egg and cheese on a roll on a bagel all right really quick i'm loving your story but i'm not loving the way you're smearing your fingers around your cream cheese plate there's no cream cheese on this and there's so much food on your fingers
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
He's stimming. He's stimming. Give him a chance. It's sesame seeds. It's not cream cheese. Whatever. Can you hear it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, no, it's an infinitely better city. This time of year right now, un-fucking-real. I think what you have to realize is today is the coldest it gets in LA. Yeah. Yeah. And this is the warmest it will be in New York for the next six months. Yeah, but it was epic, dude. I got wrapped up in a protest of art or something. I don't know. You joined the picket line? Literally.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
What are we fighting for? Dude, I was feeling so brain dead yesterday after the weekend and the show and stuff. I was just walking around aimlessly and just saw a crowd and I was like, well... Might as well go see what they're doing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And then like kind of inadvertently was wrapped up in this thing where like, I guess they, I guess Washington Square Park banned like live art performances or something. After like impractical jokers, they were like, enough. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, I don't understand like how they're going to do that. But then some artists started doing art. Which is like painting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, like on like a thing on the ground. And then the cops came up. What? It honestly felt like kind of dystopian. Like, I don't know what happened. But there's got to be more of the story. I know. Something happened. Something happened. They were like... Technically, this is still a live art performance, but this is clearly about the thing that happened last week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, like a guy was jerking off or something. What? It's art, man.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
This is my paint, okay? Not everyone has fucking oil paints. My penis is my brush. My penis is my brush. And you are my canvas. Get over here. Get over here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It's art, man. We were laughing. I go in the circle and start dancing. The moment I hit one move, I just get shot. Oh, my God. They can use lethal force against artists. It was very captivating, though. Also, that's where NYU is. These NYU kids' outfits are out of this world. Yep. Like stylish? Yeah, but insane. I saw multiple people wearing propeller hats. And they kind of pulled it off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Are you sure they weren't like... 1960s pledges or something i don't know they could have been 1960s pledges that could have been part of honestly i didn't even i didn't even ask i feel like i didn't do my due diligence dude what do you think it's like to be fucking baron trump at at nyu i like my suitcase i have to go to school now I don't know. It's got to be a nightmare, right? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
This feels like the exact opposite of how I would react in this situation. They're just okay with a... That's funny. I don't even think... I mean, he has a mustache. I think it's only the mustache. Yeah. Yeah. I hope we don't get a bear in here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Imagine if your dad, like, you're not doing anything wrong. You're just like at school. Yeah. And like every girl hates you. And then some of the girls really love you. Yeah. For the wrong reasons. Do you think he like goes to in-person classes? Really? Apparently he got rejected from a bar the other week. Too tall? No, they were just like, dude, we know you're fucking, like, 18. Oh, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Oh, that's funny. The Secret Service probably didn't help either. That's kind of a good point, yeah. Wait, can the Secret Service go with him to, like, a bar as a minor? They'd probably keep an eye on him. They have to wear, like, cool, like, they have to, like, pretend to be kids. Hello, fellow teens. Wait, that is, like, a funny... Yeah. I saw a picture. How much autonomy do you have?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Are you, like, none? Can you smoke pot? Yeah, I mean, you're the president's kid. Like, they have to listen to whatever you say. That's what I'm saying, yeah. They definitely, like, test it. But, like, with going, like, if you, like, underage drinking, like, they would go to a bar with you and... I think he would just be like, what the fuck are you gonna do? Like, my dad will fire you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, I guess you're right. Um... I can't remember who sent me this picture. When one of the Obama girls was at Princeton, they were at a party, and my friend... Who sent me this? Someone sent me a photo of kids were doing cocaine, and they were using Malia Obama's black card to cut up the drugs. What's the black card? Like her Amex. And it said her name on it, and it's covered in drugs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Oh, Jesus Christ. I mean, that seems horrible to grow up under that kind of spotlight.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, but it'd be awesome. You'd have so much money. That is also a good point. There would be perks for sure. Because also you essentially have like a servant. Yeah, I guess I just feel like just growing up famous sounds particularly horrible. Yeah, I want to get it now. I want to get it at this age. I want to get really famous right now. We walk outside and there's like paparazzi.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Thanksgiving episode. Happy Turkey Day. Happy Turkey Day, Will. Happy Turkey Day, Lauren. Thank you, guys. Hey, Lauren, do you want to hear Will and I's impression of a colorblind guy at a stoplight? Yeah, let's hear it. I'm in the car in front of Will. Will, honk at me because I'm not going. Honk. What? It's gray. I think it isn't like the most common type of colorblind.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Damn, the podcast doesn't even come out yet. Yeah, I don't know. I'm excited. Oh, Thanksgiving tomorrow. We're recording this a week early because we're out of town. But I'm really excited for Thanksgiving. I'm excited about the idea that when someone listens to this, it will be Thanksgiving tomorrow. It's my favorite holiday. Same. I know. I'm kind of coming around to it. It was always my second.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I think it's one now. To Krimis? Yeah. If you get older and it's like if we want something, you can buy it for yourself. You know what I mean? I still love the general spirit of Christmas. I miss putting stuff on my list in September and being like, ooh, in December I might get this. It was like, I might. Unless you were naughty. I know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
yeah like that'd be a huge bummer i know it'd be way harder to podcast lauren and i were talking the other day her and andrew were sitting at their desks and they always do that i know they're always at their fucking what are you guys doing at your desk just hanging out yeah it's crazy um but they were talking about how like they still black out all the time okay okay no i don't
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
That was what was fun about it, though, is it's like you didn't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No. I was so fucking good, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Did you really? Yeah. That's kind of sad. I think my parents shut down that myth pretty early. Yeah. I think they didn't love the idea of me thinking that he was a bad guy. It's kind of weird. It was more like... Like, ooh, I don't know if Santa will get that for you. It was never like, if you're bad, you're going to get coal. Yeah, coal would be such, that would be so shitty.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Wait, what does that mean? I don't think my parents did it, but I remember being at a friend's house and he was doing something and they were like, I'll get Santa on the horn and I'll tell him what you're up to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
When did you guys find out he wasn't real? My parents had no line of communication. I think I told this on the last pod recently.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I told this 20 pods ago. I found out Santa wasn't real because I said something about Santa and my aunt... I was probably getting a little bit too old to still believe in him. You were like 13. Yeah. And then my aunt said, don't even act like you still believe in Santa. And I went...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
what this is on genie dini dini on dini yeah was it her yeah i'm gonna snipe we were in the lunch line this kid fucking aiden hubs came up to us we were talking about santa and aiden hubs turned around he goes you know he's not real right and we were like what and he was like yeah it's our parents made it up and i went home and was like you fucking lied you fucking i trusted you
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
My aunt Sarah, one time, we were at... I think they were in Maine, or maybe she told me this story. But, like, I was getting to the age where I might have, like, some sort of inkling that, like... This wasn't the whole story, right? Like Santa maybe wasn't real. Yeah. And she called and was like, yeah, we found bells on the roof. Like Santa was here last night. Like bells fell off his sleigh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I was like, no fucking way. I think it's honestly insane that everyone believes that shit. I mean, they're, like, children.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah. I just think it's, like, I can't believe how, like... We were kind of morons. Yeah, like, we can do, like... Like, I think there's a point where you can do, like, basic arithmetic and you still believe in Santa. Yeah, I was building Legos with this seven-year-old the other day and I asked him what he was learning in school and he said, like, the... He kept saying, the algorithm.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I was like, what does that mean? And he was like, well, you know, like five minus four, of course, is one. I was like, oh, you're just learning like subtraction. No, it's the algo, dude. I know, but he kept being like, we're learning the algorithm. Oh, that's funny. How often are you building Legos as a seven-year-old? This was the first time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah. We built on the floor of my bedroom and his mom watched. I saw a picture of it and it's the funniest thing of all time. Can I put a picture of it? Is that a spoiler?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It's one of the funniest photos of all time. But... What was I going to tell you? He... Oh, I remember learning, like, division. Like, learning how to do it. Yeah. And I want it, like, outside of school. Like, from a YouTube video or something. And I wanted my teacher to think I was just, like, leaps and bounds ahead of everyone else. Oh, so you, like, went and figured it out before the lesson?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
So, like, before class, I would just be, like, you know...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
doing it on a piece of paper yeah like 500 divided by two and just fucking nail it and then i'd i'd like kind of act like nonchalant about it but like in hindsight she definitely was just like this kid's a moron because i was not doing well in the other aspects of class but i had like learned something that we were going to learn like next year and it was more like why is he focusing on this instead of that
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
A direct quote from Lauren was, I don't think it's fun unless I black out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
maybe she was just intimidated by the pace at which you had right you were out no but like i hadn't figured out what we were currently learning so it was like why is he why is he putting his efforts towards like a different thing yeah that's fair do you guys ever have lice oh my god so much actually yeah like four times for Ridiculous. I don't know. They fucking got in my hair.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No, but I'm saying like four separate occasions. Yeah, it was like I had it like twice like growing up. when I was little and one, one was my brother and I both got it. Cause that's kind of how that shit goes. And we both, we both went and got our heads shaved. So it was like, there was like an email set. I remember there's an email sent out to the school.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Like, Hey, there's been like some reports of lice. Like you should get your, check your kid's hair. And then me and my brother showed up the next day. Both was shaved. It was like, I wonder who got the fucking lice. And then, uh, yeah. And then I had one like a little bit later. And then I got one when I lived in Spain, my sophomore year of high school, I got lice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
How does that stop becoming an issue as you become an adult? I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Whatever, it came... I had made a comment that was basically... What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It was actually disgusting. It's so gross. My mom used to, yeah, I remember we'd sit there and she'd pick them out and put them in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
so what are their like crabs they're literally bugs crawling around in your hair they're like little bugs well where do they come from like do they live on like fabric and then you're like sitting on the fabric or is it they only live in hair I don't know google it I don't even want to okay you don't have to google it yeah don't google it when I was a kid sorry what were you gonna say
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
no i well they have like shit that just like fucking destroys them but i think you have to get it like prescription yeah so there's like like a shampoo you have to yeah they have like lice shampoo and like that shit like kind of works but then then like i remember my mom like figured out you get your hands on the shit that was just like fucking battery acid yep and that was like the only way to like can we like change the subject no i'm like yeah one one last thing there was a so we did like a lice check in second grade yeah lice check like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And this girl, it'd be a fun TikTok trend. Yeah. Lice check. There was a girl that got it and we all fucking knew it was her that started it. Like it was just like one of those things where it was like, yeah, fucking course it was her. Yeah. Poor girl. No, she was like, I used to come home and like cry. She was so mean to me. Oh, okay. Like if I like told my mom like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I had basically, I'd made a comment that I was like, I think it's insane that you guys still black out or whatever. I was saying like, we're adults, like you should have, you should have, you should be able to keep your eye on it a little bit. And then I went out on Friday night and immediately blacked out. It was the, it was the most, that morning I texted Lauren at like seven in the morning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Who do you think was the meanest person to me ever? She would like pull this name from second grade out. And they gave letters to give to your parents, like whether you had it or not. And I was too scared to open it and too scared to, that's the possibility of doing this. I just threw it out. Like it was like a sealed letter. Sealed letter. I didn't tell you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No, because I think they thought it was like, give this letter to your parents. Because I think if you had it, some kids would be scared to tell their parents or whatever. Yeah. Threw it in the recycling bin. So you might have had it. I might have had it. I think you would have known. Yeah, you probably would have known. That's kind of an awesome move. Yeah. I don't want to know. Nope, not me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
can't have it if i don't open this envelope schrodinger's lice um oh i i sorry what you're gonna say oh no i forgot i don't know nothing i had one the other day right oh no i had a thing that happened the other day that made me the most mad i've ever been in a while i order a lot of meals on postmates it's kind of my my my jam why postmates i like the logo better I feel like it works better.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I feel like it's faster. It's the same thing as Uber Eats. Uber Eats owns it. I just like the logo of Postmates better. Same drivers. I think so. I ordered from this restaurant that was like 10 miles away. It's still like a 15 minute drive maybe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
10 miles is going to be like downtown. Yeah, it was like whatever. When I ordered it, The they go, all right, your driver's on the way. And I check. It's like 45 minutes away. And I was like, oh, there must be like bad traffic. He was on a bicycle. Oh, you should not. There should be a limit to you should only be able to deliver my food on a bike if you're in my neighborhood.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, I agree with that. And then I was like, OK, maybe it's like a motorcycle or something. He showed up. It was a bicycle. It was a pedal bike. Is that even worth that for him? He made like $6. Yeah, that's crazy. He's like training for a bike triathlon or something. Something like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Don't make it my problem.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, but then you wouldn't get $6. Normal bike rides, you don't get $6. I know. It's the worst. It's the only reason I don't bike. Yeah. All right, guys, the cold is here. And guess what? I'm living in the perfect gene. These bad boys are super stretchy, soft, and totally trick people into thinking I've got my life together.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Am I telling you this because I actually love them or because this is an ad and the perfect gene team paid me to say this? Who cares? I can honestly say these jeans are freaking awesome. These jeans have enough stretch to accommodate Thanksgiving dinner and are comfy enough to wear all day watching Sunday football.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It was the most stressed out I've been in my entire life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Plus, even though they feel like sweatpants, they look good enough to be your go-to pants for date night. For a limited time, our listeners get 15% off their first order, plus free shipping at theperfectjean.nyc or Google The Perfect Jeans and use code PLAYDATE15 for 15% off. You know, I'm kind of picky about my pants.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Comfort's a big thing for me, but I'm kind of getting to that age where I just can't wear sweatpants everywhere anymore. The perfect jean solves that problem. I'm sitting in a restaurant. I'm on a hot date. Everyone's like, that guy's wearing jeans. No, no, no. No, no, no. As far as I'm concerned, I'm wearing stretchy sweatpants.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It was, yeah. Apparently I was awesome. But the fact that I couldn't remember it was freaking me out. And then the lady that I'm talking to showed up at the bar with all of her friends and neither of us knew that the other one was going to be there. And her one note was like, yeah, you were definitely shocked to see me, but it more just looked like you weren't that excited to see me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Fuck your khakis and get the perfect jean. Want to take a quick moment to talk about a new sponsor of the pod, Lucy. Lucy is intelligent nicotine for adults designed by scientists to deliver the most satisfying nicotine experience and always tobacco free.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I told you this last week, but I'm back into the apple cider ones, the breakers. Fall. 8 milligrams, very fall. Here, listen to this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Get an extra boost of flavor. Delish. I pop one in in the morning, pop one in at work, and hell, when I'm having a beer after work, watching some football, I pop one in. You're a guy. I'm a red-blooded American. Of course I'm going to do that. I'm an American. Guys, give Lucy a shot today by going to lucy.co slash Friday and use promo code Friday for 20% off your first order.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Again, that's lucy.co slash Friday. Use promo code Friday to save 20% off on your first order. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Let's get back into the episode. Should we get into the roadmap? Yeah. Well, I was going to say we didn't do like our episode number thing. Oh, you're right. Oh, right. Also, I'm fighting a fun battle this morning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
The reason I was late is I was on the line of like, I might have to go poop. And I sat on the toilet and I couldn't poop for like 15 minutes. And then by the time I looked at the clock... I went to Starbucks and chugged a coffee, put in a Lucy, and nothing. Nothing came out. And so I was late because I couldn't poop. But now I'm sitting here. And now I'm pooping.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No, but it's just frustrating because it's like my tummy hurts, but I can't. I know if I sat down, nothing would come out. All right, squeeze right now. Let's see if you can shit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It's all offensive linemen now. I know, but it's like ones that we don't know. No, I know. Most of them are 70. Oh, Joe Thomas. Wait, that was my guess last week. Joe Alt. Michael Orr. Haloti Nada.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
H-L-O-T-I. Yeah, that one. Maybe I spelled it wrong. I was defensive. Fuck. I just want to say a cool name. Picasso in 1965.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Picasso age 1954. I thought he wore 75 that year. Oh, he was 72. Oh, shit. He died in the 70s. Yeah, that is crazy to me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Cool. All right, Lauren wins. He's 65, I think. That's really good. You did a good job. Thanks. All right, guys, we have a beautiful episode for you guys today. We're going to do your pitches followed by our pitches, and then we're going to do This Guy Rocks followed by everyone's favorite segment, Teach Me Something. And then we're going to do Am I the Asshole?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
But I was like, I think it was just hard to get any emotion out. Yeah. Where were you? Townhouse.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And then for our Thanksgiving episode, we're going to do Thanksgiving Traditions That Don't Exist, a repeat from last year, and Thanksgiving Dishes That Don't Exist. Someone DM me that they felt like this guy, Rox, was dead space in the pod. So we should just try to make it quicker, I think. Okay. I like that. Sorry, I didn't mean to drop that bombshell right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
But I think sometimes it's like, oh, okay, let me find my... Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then also for audio.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
We're trying to learn and improve. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No, I don't give a shit, dude. I'm Willie D. You think I give a fuck?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
There are quite a few D-tards at the show. I will say, I don't think I've ever really said that. D-tards? Willie D-tards. It's my favorite fan. My brother's friends came to the show, and they were out in the waiting area. And when I came out, his friend came and was like, D-Tards are here! And it was like everyone kind of turned their heads. Like, what did he just say? That's funny. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
townhouse i hate that fucking place i love it but the problem is there's this fucking drink i panicked and the only drink i know on their cocktail menu is an emotional orange i should have just stayed with beer and an emotional orange is essentially just vodka and that's the i was completely fine and then i took i literally remember taking one sip hanky spanky was there you know hanky what that sounds like a made-up guy no we've you've met him he's on tiktok too but he's like uh went to harvard
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Now that we're saying it out loud and I'm having to think about it. I'm worried it's going to be my downfall.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I think we're fine. It's funny for sure. I think it's fine. But it's like the real version of that word I wouldn't say. No. Obviously not. Yeah. I have heard you say Nellen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
That's a good question. Video. Can't watch a music video.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Wait. It's not loud enough.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I would use that for in the air tonight. Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum. I can feel it coming in here tonight. Hold on. I've been waiting for this moment for all my life. Hola. Hola. You ever listen to 12 OC? You know what that is? No. They're like a main band. Cool. Country band. And they're putting out a cover of that. December 6th, I think.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Keep your eyes peeled, folks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Apparently that song's about Phil Collins watching a guy watch his wife drown or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
He didn't do anything. What? He watched a guy kill his wife and then that same guy he saw at a show in the crowd. I feel like he's in the fault too if he watched a guy kill his wife. Yeah, I think he admits fault. He's like, I should have done something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
What are you talking about? Google it. Phil Collins. What is it in the air tonight about? Phil Collins. It's like Phil Collins.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Like the guy was at the show and he recognized him. Can you look this up? Google like Phil Collins watched a guy murder someone. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Okay, it's about his divorce. No, no, no, that was his cover-up story.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It's like a known thing. Google, like, Phil Collins in the air tonight about murder. Murder. Urban legend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No, Phil Collins' song in the air tonight is not about murder. I fucking hate Google. It ruins everything. He's denied the urban legends, including one that claims it's a drowning incident where Collins witnessed someone's death. That's so funny. I mean, it's just the consistency with which you have these horrible sources. No, no, but like, obviously he wouldn't admit that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Also, Google fucking ruins everything. That's such a fun story. And now it's like, oh, it's just about his divorce. That story made no sense. He watched someone watch someone die and then like wrote a song about it. Yeah. Why wouldn't he step in?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
That makes him, that makes like, he's an accessory to murder. No, no, no, no, no, no. If you're standing there while someone's killing someone, you don't do anything. You're in the wrong. Hmm. No. If I kill Lauren right now and you just sat there, then you'd be fine. Or if you were killing her like down by the creek and I was like out on the street. Where the hell's a creep? Creak. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Wherever fucking he is. I know where the creep is. Okay. Yeah, that's... I love that idea, though. The drum thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Or maybe you could get another gear shifter thing that does like... It's like a harmonica or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
He looks really, really, really fucking sad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Hang in there, you'll be better. Tomorrow. Whenever is the weather. The sun will come out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Hanky Spanky? Did you guys plan a little prank on me this episode? I doubt just Googling Hanky Spanky. You'd recognize him. You've met him multiple times. He's a really nice guy. Him and his crew pulled up and then I was with Footy and all of them. It was awesome. The last thing I remember is just taking a sip of my
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
That's a person, right? Correct. No, like, isn't that like a name of a famous person? Alexandra Albright?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
He was a founding father. Alexandra Albright? I'm kidding. I don't know. Okay, continue. AA.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It's a really good question. There's a lot that's the worst part. I would say you have to like this. I mean, I already pitched this, but like the sorting of the pieces is a brutal aspect. Finding the piece you need.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It's a good point. It's a really good point.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
100%. Love it. All right, let's pitch each other, Will. Oh my God, there's something weird in my belly button. Is it lint? No, it's like a... Did your belly button ever reek when you were a kid? It's part of my bagel. How did that get in there?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No, no, not because of that. I haven't come up with a name for this one yet, but I just feel like the whole dishwashing process is, like, ancient. And, like, it's shock... It's what? It's what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Ancient. What did he say? Ancient.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Ancient? Yeah. Wait, what? Are you doing a bit? No, like prehistoric.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Wait, I'm being dead serious right now. What are you talking about? Ancient? Yeah. Ancient. Wait, what? What's wrong with that? Are you not joking? That's not the word. What is it? Ancient. Ancient. Ancient. You've never, there's no way you've ever said it. I, on my mother's life, that's how I've been pronouncing it my entire life. Ancient? No, you're like, you're like dragging it. Ancient.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
All right, you're missing the point. We've been keeping this process the same for like a hundred years. It doesn't make any sense that it hasn't been streamlined a little bit. Wait, what is it again? I forget. Dishwasher. Okay, got it. You have to wash the dish and then you have to like take it out of the sink, like get the fucking water off and then put it in the dishwasher.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And like you have to open it and open the fucking drawer or whatever. There should be a slit in the side of the sink that like slides directly into like open slots in the thing. So you wash the dish, you go... and it goes through the wall and finds an open spot in the dishwasher, and then it automatically runs when it's full. I like that idea. Thank you. I like that a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I feel like dishwashers should just be better so you don't have to rinse it off. I know. It's infuriating. Yeah. I'm still thinking about ancient. Google ancient pronunciation.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, what are you doing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It says it right there. Ancient.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I need fucking Webster. All right. Didn't realize this was the fucking book fair. All right. You know the app Cameo? No. Cameo?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Shut the fuck up, bitch. I'm kidding. No, this is my idea. Ready? It's cameo for regular guys. That's awesome. I think it would be so fun. It'd be a lot cheaper, obviously. And I could just book any guy. And if I wanted to send you maybe an invite to my party or something, and I just got a random guy from the Midwest to be like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
emotional what is an emotional orange it's like they hand it to you it's such a crazy drink they hand it to you in a shaker like you pour your own drink oh that's nice that's always fun when you get a little in on the action i know it's like hibachi for drinks yes it is even though i guess you're not in on the action for hibachi yeah i think you're in that you're in on the action you don't do anything imagine if like regular restaurants did that like the mcdonald's guy was like throwing fries across the table
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
hey we're having a you know what i mean and you can send them to your friends and you can get them to do all sorts of funny things should just be like a whole service of i love that you're like i want like i need like a tall i want like a tall black guy to say this or i want a short white guy to say this or i want medium-sized asian guy a medium-sized asian guy or a skinny ginger guy oh god lauren you had to hard r lauren come on it's ginger ginger
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah. So pretty much that's the idea. You could also use it like you'd have to respond to my cameo. So I could just like request that you say something funny. And you'd be like, all right. Oh, yeah. It's like a way to like get a message to your buddy who never reads your text. You just book him. If it's urgent, just book me on cameo.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah. So that's my idea. It's cameo for regular dudes. I also had an idea for cream cheese that's just like a patty.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I think throwing your bagel at the wall. I think more like spreading it is sometimes kind of a hassle.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
All right, should we do teach me something or this guy rocks? Teach me something. Can you sync our audio and post? I'm slacking it to Brian. You're teaching me something? No, my, oh, fuck. Okay, I slacked by this guy rocks. Wait, is it Brian still?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Nice. All right, here's my, can I give you my teach me something? Yes. Have you ever heard of this guy, fucking Jack Kevorkian?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Nah. He is an American pathologist and euthanasia proponent. Good Lord. He died in 2011. He championed the right to die by physician-assisted suicide, and his quote was, dying is not a crime. He assisted in at least 130 people's deaths. Good lord.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Jack Kevorkian. Oh. They called him Dr. Death, apparently. So it's kind of dark, I know. But I guess I just found this interesting from a perspective of, like, philosophically.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
yeah i took a medical ethics class and we actually learned about this and it was so it was like very fast what do you think then like what do i think about is it ethical i think if you want to you should be able to do it in a clean way but there should be some you shouldn't just be like because you're sad i think if it's usually like these like medically assisted suicides are like i'm about to go through like a painful disease or something
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It's illegal in like Switzerland or something. And a lot of these people will fly over there and spend their last handful of days in like a luxury hotel. And they put you in a thing and you just go... Yeah, I mean... But the guy... Have you seen these guys that have been doing... I don't know what country it is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
They created this pod that basically fills up with some gas and it's supposed to knock you out and then you die of asphyxiation or something. And the first person they did it on, there were claw marks on the thing. It clearly went wrong. So now they're like, yeah, they're in hot water. Yeah, I mean... I think, yeah, I mean...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I guess there's gotta be, like, you gotta go through, like, a lot of, like, talking to people. Yeah. But I kind of agree. I feel like if you really, like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Well, it's like, I saw a guy brushing his teeth in the airport the other day. You were like, that guy should probably kill himself. No, and I was like, yeah, you get to nominate one person. No, but I was like, at first I was like, oh, kind of gross. And I was like, you know what? I trust that he's gone through, he's ran through all the options in his head. And this is the last resort.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
He wouldn't be brushing his teeth in the airport unless he absolutely needed to. Go get gum.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Brushing your teeth in a public restroom is shit all of your teeth fresh now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I'd go get gum, and then I'd have them take me home.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Did you see RFK and Trump and Elon Musk eating McDonald's on a plane? I did, yeah. Do you see, like, the AI, like, edits of that? Yeah. So doesn't that completely contradict RFK's, like, whole thing? Yeah. Or are you saying McDonald's is good now? I guess he fixed it already. I guess it was, like, a day one type of thing. So someone was, like, joking around that it was, like, hazing. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Well, I'm just saying it's, I mean, most people wouldn't get assisted suicide either, but I'm saying it's the same category of like, if you got to that point where you actually, that was the decision you wanted to make, I don't think the government should stop it until you can. Did you hear Emily Binder's story about the poopy toothbrush? The...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
She said, this is one of the grossest things I've ever heard in my entire life. She said that when they were kids, her friend was like, let's prank my brother. And so they rubbed her friend's toothbrush in the friend's poop and then put it back in the thing and the brother brushed his teeth with it. That's... Isn't that the most binder story of all time?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I don't like that at all. It made me, if my, I mean, that would ruin, if that happened to me when I was a kid, I would be a fundamentally different person. Yeah, I mean, that would have ruined my breath that day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
When I was a kid, there was pee on the toilet seat. My dad goes, who did this? And I was just like, oh, it must have been Casey, which is my sister. It makes no sense that she would have peed on the toilet seat. And they believed it and they like scolded her. Yeah, I don't know if I ever did that bad of a prank. I can't remember. I was so much younger than my siblings. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I wouldn't have been able to. Are you guys familiar with the Alabama law, the no mustaches in church law?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No. In the 1900s, I don't know what happened. What was the catalyst to make them put this into place? But in the early 1900s, they passed a law that you're not allowed to wear a fake mustache in church. A fake one? A fake one. I'll read it to you. It says, this law was passed in the early 1900s to maintain propriety in religious establishments.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It made it illegal to wear a fake mustache in church that caused laughter. Google this. So someone came in and was just like... He had the whole fucking... Alabama mustache law. He had the whole church rolling laughing. Yes, is it illegal in Alabama to wear a fake mustache in church if it causes laughter?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Not illegal to order dominoes on a Sunday, though, am I right? It is punishable by death to put salt on a railroad track. I mean, that would make sense. That would derail a train. Salt? I'm kidding. Wait, the mustache thing is insane. Yeah, that's wild. It's illegal to play dominoes. Oh, yeah. All right, should we do This Guy Rocks? Yeah, can I go pee real quick? Sure. This guy rocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Okay, this is Jeff Wolf. Okay. This guy is looking for love, so if there are any ladies in the podcast, maybe give him a shot. Oh, Lord. What percentage of our listeners are female? A hundred.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
All right, so this is Jeff Wolf. He's looking for love. Yeah, let's see what he's all about, Wolf.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No one ever does a one-meter fake.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
He said, if you want me, I'm right here, but no one ever does. But that's why I wanted to help him. Yeah, honestly, I mean, yeah, clap it up for Jack. Go do Jack's. I think if you're a lady out there and, you know, you like fingerless gloves. Yeah, I mean, it looks like he's like a detective. I feel horrible for that guy. Who's this D?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
don't know if it is unfortunately my like i'm not sure i'm actually not trying to be like mean or anything like i just think sometimes there are people that just get dealt a shit hand and it's like it's just not gonna work out in the traditional sense i mean i feel like once he can finally capture perry the platypus right there's a lot more chance right because of the white big white coat he's wearing
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Where they were like, oh, you want to be a part of my cabinet? Like, eat this fucking burger. Yeah, I don't know. So how was New York? Or you went to the SNL after party? Who told you that? I got the inside sources. Oh, yeah. Was that killer? It was the craziest thing I've ever heard. Was the cast there? Yeah, and that was just like scratching the surface. Like Charlie XCX was there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
My point is I think oftentimes we're like, it's all going to work out. And I think 99% of the time it does, but I think sometimes there are people that are just born with a shit set of cards. In the way that we think of it working out, it's probably not going to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
If you're listening to this... No, I hope it does. I'm just saying, like, he has to make some adjustments to his approach if his goal is to get a woman. But whatever your vision of working out is, is subjective. Okay. You know what I mean? I think the answer is that anyone can always work out and find happiness.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Or just take... I guess my advice to Jeff is... We might need to workshop his approach to ladies a little bit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
That is half the battle. If you're listening to this, it's not going to work out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No. If you are listening to our podcast, it's not going to work out. Your life is going to get worse after today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It's downhill from here. It's going to get better.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
You're on your pee grind right now?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No. Oh, my God. I didn't even. Sorry. That just reminded me of someone else that was at the SNL thing. Joe Swanson was there. Actually, what? I don't know who that is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
He's like a legendary, like, he was in. Shut the hell up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It's red, green colorblindness. That feels like an oversight. Yeah, who decided Greens Go? Is it just because it sounds like it? Well, no, I think it's probably like a naturally occurring thing. Like the trees are green. Right, right. Green is good. We're not beating the they need to make podcast equipment more expensive. Someone commented that on our British one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Can you take a video of me real quick?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Stop recording! I love any video that starts with, hey, can you take a video of me real quick? Yeah. All right, Lauren, should we do some Am I the Assholes? I like how she called out. She goes, is this for a pledge talk thing? And he goes, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Was it? Yeah. I think so. Wait, scroll to the caption, Lauren. Yeah. Hashtag pledge. Yeah. Or wait, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah. Hashtag. Hashtag pool. Hashtag edge.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Cool. She had a home run. Lauren sent me a picture. We'll put it right here. Lauren sent me a picture of Fred, the dog sitting on the bench. So cute. No, his front legs were on the ground and his ass was on the bench and it looked terrifying. Lauren was like, look how cute. That's cute.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
we'll put a picture tell me tell us in the comments if you think i saw that too i didn't even he's a massive dog who thinks he's like two pounds and i think it's actually adorable oh what should they if you've made it to this point in the episode last week was bloop oh my god it was it's kind of annoying yeah i think we should if you made it to this part something engaging comment comment what you're most excited for on the thanksgiving plate tomorrow yeah yep
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Did you chat with her? No, I didn't. I don't think I recognized her. Really? I think she'd be pretty easy to pick out of a crowd. I feel like she kind of looks normal. Yeah, but she's like... You're like, oh, that's Charlie XX. I walked right by her and I didn't even notice. I didn't realize until after. She posted a picture from it and I was like, oh, shit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Comment the worst thing you've ever done. What about the playmates who don't live in America? They don't get Thanksgiving. Oh, comment... What you're going to eat? Comment when you're going to move here. Comment... Comment... Comment... No, no, no. If you've made it this far and you're American, comment what's going to be on your plate tomorrow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And if you've made it this far and you're not from America, comment what country you're listening to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Backwards. Spell it backwards. Yeah, spell the country you live in backwards. There we go. Crestonia. Crestonia! Guys, we are officially partnered with Ricky to bring you the best canned alcoholic beverage on the market. Ricky was created to finally give the world a premium spirit-based drink. Ricky is made with award-winning vodka or tequila and just a touch of thirst-quenching fruit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
We're talking 130 calories in a can, no added sugar in all natural fruit juices. It's 7% ABV, which is a lot more than its competitors. Each can is one and a half shots. We're talking two and a half shots in a tall boy. A little quick math for you. That means one 12-pack is a full bottle, and one 24-pack is two full bottles. Not to mention, the price is a lot better, too.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
The reason it's so good is because it's real liquor and real fruit juice, and not the typical malt liquor that you see in other canned cocktails, all right? And it, honestly... This time of year, I feel like I know I've always been a grapefruit guy. I'm starting to dabble in cranberry, black cherry. I don't know, something in the water, in the wind. They're all fantastic, though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
The cranberry feels like a Cosmo. Honestly, it kind of makes you feel classy, like one of those classy guys. Aristocrats. Aristocrats. I was in New York. We were backstage before the show. I had a little bit of a Ricky to kind of loosen me up before I went out and brought the house down. Guys, head to rickyspirits.com to find out where you can get Ricky near you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Follow at friday.beers and at rickyspirits to stay up to date with upcoming Ricky contests and giveaways. And remember, if it's not Ricky, it's almost Ricky.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No, you should have done it. You should have done it a little bit more with a little bit more class. But I think it's just I've never understood like how people don't book their seats together. It's the easiest thing. Well, no, because I mean, you're buying like main cabin fares. But if you get the cheapest fare, you don't get to pick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And then Will was like, yeah, we walked right by her. So I didn't even recognize her. That's cool. But... who I did recognize and got to meet and chat with was Mattie Healy, which is fucking sick. Shut up. Did you give him any insight into how big of a fan you were? No, no. I thank God. It was also, dude, I don't understand how they fucking do this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
oh well then that i don't know if you need to sit next to your kid in economy plus then yeah then you should buy him a seat there that is crazy if it's like a a different yep i think it's i've always said this i think it's fucking insane when people want you to switch to a worse seat yeah Agreed. Agreed. It doesn't make any sense to me. I would never do it in a million years.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Uh, having yesterday next to me, someone switched. What happened? The guy came up and was like, Hey, can we switch? So my wife can be next to me. And the guy was like, sure. And then another lady came up and then she had like, they had fucked it all up basically. And so then they all four people were sitting in a different seat than they were assigned, but everyone was chill with it, I guess.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Brutal. I got a little hurt because I was sitting there. Did you get an upgrade yesterday? No, because I booked the flight yesterday. But I was in the middle part. It's three seats in the middle section. It was one of the big-ass planes. And I was on the aisle. So there was a guy in the middle, and he had to go to the bathroom. And he had to pick either to go through the other lady or through me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
He went through the other lady, which obviously I didn't want to get up. But a little bit, I'm like, am I not presenting myself as an accommodating, friendly guy?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
yeah that's strange yeah it's weird it's like i didn't want you to pick me but why didn't you want yeah i was like whoa what the hell i would have gotten up i would have accommodated did i ever tell you about the when i told my row i was like hey i'm going so i sat down on the plane and i there were two kids like our age or like maybe a little bit younger like we were peers and
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
yeah and i was like hey i'm gonna go to sleep but like uh if you guys want to get up like don't feel bad like tapping me or whatever which i thought was like a nice thing to say and the girl next to me goes do you tell that to every row you sit down in and i was like no i'm just going to i was just gonna go to sleep and like i didn't want you to feel like trapped she was like okay that's weird fuck her yeah because that's really nice of you i would never think to do that
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, I fucking hate her. When someone goes to sleep next to me and I have to pee, I'm holding it until they wake up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or I'm screaming and then pretending like it was someone else.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Oh, the Rusty, like the Soto Shuffle? Yeah. My sister and I are sitting in the same row on the way to Thanksgiving when Will and I get back from Vegas. And I've been kind of keeping my eye on the upgrade list. And there's a good shot we might be flying in style. Alert the fucking media. I'm so excited. But I don't understand why you aren't happy for me. That would be cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Because you talk about it too much. You made it unlikable. It's been multiple episodes where I haven't talked about planes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
um hopefully this isn't like i don't i'm presumed no like i can definitely like it already happened it's not like no i yeah i don't know if like these things are supposed to be like under wraps or whatever but i'm sure it's fine there are a ton of people there but uh we so like i we went out on it was saturday night i was out with some friends and then i actually met up with dylan gossett
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
But how nice would it be to just be in Jamaica or something?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And you're just on a fucking beach. Sunglasses on. There's someone just bringing pina coladas on rotates.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
i don't know i did the bahamas for spring break once in college and i was like a little like maybe you were like partying this is like no we're sitting on the beach all day every day it wasn't like there were no other kids there oh it was just sitting on the beach all day i'm having my first warm christmas where i'm going to marathon key florida oh i'm in florida as well you could come to thanksgiving with me christmas christmas oh i we've never done a warm gotta do christmas in the snow
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
yeah i don't know my family just decided we didn't want to be home it's when the kids get old the parents start fucking taking big swings on like christmas stuff and they just throw everything out it's kind of like the like no more presents thing it's like oh yeah we're losing we're losing the general like i have i've drawn a line in the sand that like we can do thanksgiving somewhere else but i refuse to be anywhere other than maine for christmas
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, we had a few in hotel rooms back in the day, which were kind of brutal. Yeah. Are the Denellans having the annual Christmas party? And follow-up question, can my mom and I come again? You're definitely on the list if we're doing it. I will keep you in the loop. Okay. It was a fucking blast last year. It was a hoot. I'm so excited to go back.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Those are my favorite kind of Christmas parties where it was like, I felt like a kid again. Yeah. Because it was like Sam, Will, and I were like all of age to drink. But you obviously aren't, you can't get like drunk in front of the parents. So it was like, ooh, like I'm going for another Allagash. Okay. Yeah, it was fun. I'm sure we'll do something. It doesn't feel like you had a lot of fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
It feels like I had more fun than you somehow. That makes me sad. I had an un-fucking-real time. And I am sorry that I misrepresented it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Not the asshole. Not the asshole, but... Anytime... If you're asking me to switch seats with you... Yeah. Unless there's, like, a real reason, I think you're an inconsiderate asshole. Yeah. Unless you have, like... Unless you had to book the flight that day and, like, you have, like, a kid that seriously needs, like, attention. Or if... I don't think it's wrong to ask.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I don't think you're an asshole for asking.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Not at all. But also, I feel like if you ask, I'm going to have to say yes. You know what I mean? I feel like I would have a hard time being like, no. So if you're putting me in a position where I have to say no because you're offering a shittier seat. Yeah. If it's a shittier seat, that's crazy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Sorry. Last thing. I think I might have already told you this. Skylar and his girlfriend were on a flight one time. That's awesome. He asked the lady if they wanted to switch so they could sit next to each other. And the lady said no. And so Skylar lied and said that the seat was in first class.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
wait what like he was like do you want to can you switch so me and my girlfriend can sit next to each other and the person was like no so i was like oh it's real bummer it was in delta one and then like took the offer off the table but it just wasn't true oh i thought you were gonna say i was like she would have immediately figured out she walks to the front and then like yeah as if she's that is kind of funny okay am i the asshole i think that was the story you'll have to ask him am i the asshole for riding on a car's windshield and sharpie
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
We should do these where we don't get any of the info.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Oh, I was listening to Cole on the way here. Yeah. He had a show in New York on Saturday night. So then he texted me after I met up with him and his band and stuff. And Will came. So it was me and Angus. I'm like, bars don't close at two in New York.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No, I'm on this guy's side. I know, but it's just like the language. I wanted him to feel my pain.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Can we applaud this gentleman for a second? I just want to say you're a hero, and you are doing what I've wanted to do for so long. I mean, anyone, people who park and fucking block or make it harder for you to park or block you are the worst fucking people in the world. I park in a parking garage under my apartment building, and there's this guy who parks. It's not a spot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
He parks in front of his friend's car whenever he stays over, and it makes getting into my spot like a 16-point turn. Yeah. And I've wanted to leave a note hundreds of times. I never have should do it. I know. And then when we contacted the landlord and we were like, can you tell this guy to like, like at least give him a warning before I was like, Hey, stop parking like a fucking asshole.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And then that stopped. And then a new couple, uh, I don't know where all this money is coming from. Every week they have a new Rolls Royce or like fucking Mercedes. It's like the most insane thing. I think they're like lease swapping or something. It's like four cars a year and they're like insanely nice cars, but they're so big and they park far.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
They, it's two spots like this that are back to back. And so usually what you do is you pull so your cars are basically touching. And if the back car needs to move, you have your roommate come down and move the front car. They park with enough space in between so that either person can get out no matter where they are. But then that cuts off the turn.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And so like to get out, I'm like missing their Rolls Royce or their Mercedes by like fucking six inches. And I'm like, if I scrape your car... It's because you're parked in the middle of the parking garage. Yeah. And I've wanted to leave another note saying, like, stop parking like a fucking asshole. And I've never had the balls to do it. So I just want to say, this person is my hero.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
You should do a Sharpie thing. I feel like, well, there's security cameras. It's also, like, if you wrote on, like, someone's Rolls Royce, that's the type of person that would be, like... Yeah. Like, I don't have the money to fix that if that went haywire. Oh, I got a call from your insurance while I was on the plane yesterday. Yeah, how'd that go? I was on the plane. Oh. So I couldn't answer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
But they left a voicemail, so I needed to call them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
They want to make... The woman who hit Will and I, uh... Which they finally determined was 90% her fault. So I had to pay $100 of my $1,000 deductible. But basically, they determined the only thing is they were like, in theory, which they were right, I could have been more aware that there was a possibility she wasn't going to stop when we pulled out, which is true. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
yeah so all of a sudden i look down it's like 3 30 and but we had flown in from la that day so it was like my body clock you know what i mean like anyway so they got pizza and then ended up going to this got got the invite to the cessna after party we didn't get there till like four or something who invited you uh like through like agents i'm unbelievably jealous and i i wasn't me it was through other people wait who else was there
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
But I'll take the third party determined we were 90% not at fault. But she's now claiming she's injured. This happened in July. Right. She hit me. The paramedics showed up and determined. And within a minute, they left. And we're like, this was honestly insane that you guys even called us out here. She's claiming she's injured. She's suing me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And they wanted to call Chester and Will to make sure that they weren't also suing me. And she's claiming that we were drunk and on drugs because Will had a Celsius in his hand. That was all the time. The lady was on the phone with the cops. She goes, he's drinking right now. What is that? I was like, what? No, it's a Celsius. The dispatcher's like, what? He's drinking right now?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
He's holding a drink right now. Yeah, she's saying I was drunk and on drugs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
so if you're listening i actually have her name but i feel like i shouldn't say it yeah maybe not if you're listening her name's karen is it actually yeah karen if you're listening uh fuck you she's suing the front of your car hit my driver door yeah it is impossible for me to hit you with my car with my driver door that's so weird and the person that she hired to say i was at fault came back and said she was 90 at fault
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
So is it still happening then? The lady from Progressive is like, I would be shocked if this gains any traction. But she's like, there's a world where like a jury like doesn't like you and gives this woman, you know, $100,000.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
from you i mean i would only have to cover i'm covered up to ten thousand dollars by progressive so unless unless the total thing that i owed her was more than a hundred thousand dollars i would be fine but there's a world where a jury thinks i'm a fucking asshole and gives this poor old lady money and i would have to pay it that's crazy Thanks, Biden. Thanks a lot, Obama. Thanks, Biden.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I called my dad and he was like, this is why we need tort reform. Because people... He owns a natural foods company and people will call and be like, there was glass in my food. And he's like, there's no glass in the factory. They're obviously lying, but it's easier to write them a check than it is to go to court and fight it. Because in California, if you go to court and he won...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
he's still responsible for his legal fees and like tort reform would basically be like if you lose this lawsuit that you started they would have to pay it oh so you'd have to pay for they would have to the person who's like lying there was one person who was like there were ants in my food and he's like no there weren't but like does that happen often he said it's happened twice this month
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
not not ants but like it's like the same fucking eight people they just keep their job is they go to like eight different companies but yeah he's like it happened twice he was so i called him at the wrong time he was like this happened twice this month need tort reform
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
all right well that's ours a podcast we are now uh we are a we are a pro i got i might need to look more into this i know i don't know what i'm signing up i know i know this in this one instance i wish there was tort reform but i think they might go deeper i love it but if you're out there saying there's glass in your food don't stop saying that there's a remember that lady found a finger in her chili
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Google Wendy's finger chili.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
She got like a million dollars.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
She put a finger in her chili. Oh my God. She probably thought she was going to get a fucking bag. Yep. How much did she get? Oh, she went to jail. They didn't believe her. My grandma only drinks canned soda because she said that there's a chance there could be a rat in it. If it was like from the fountain.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Well, I'll get there, but I was going to say that when we... Like, I don't understand how all these fucking people are up at 5 a.m. I understand what you're suggesting, but, like... I think I know exactly how. They do that every week? Yeah, so Chester and I were talking about this yesterday. Lorne Michaels is 80. Yeah. He's there at 5 a.m. It looks like a million bucks, though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And I had to explain to her like, wait, I feel like the can might have a better chance of having a rat in it. That's what I tried to tell her. Wait. Pretty hard to talk Grammy off that ledge. Yeah, fair enough. Once they've heard that myth. She was sold. She was like, Betty, Betty told me there was a rat in her Coke. There was not. A rat comes out of the fountain. Are we doing drafts now? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah. All right, Lauren, do you want to do Thanksgiving traditions that don't exist first or Thanksgiving dishes that don't exist first?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Okay, Will, tee it up for us. All right. Here's a question. What are your favorite Thanksgiving dishes? In my house, we do the gravy crumble. So we put it out. We put the gravy in a pan. We let it harden, and then we shatter it into little chip-sized things, and then we just eat it. Yeah, it's delish. Love that. I love, I mean, we do twice cobbed corn. Right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
So you make corn on the cob, then you cut all the kernels off of them, and then you glue them to a different piece of corn. It sounds delicious. And then you cook that again. So it is twice as cobbed as a normal corn.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
You ever had grease cake? No. Well, grease cake is a hit at my house. We take like, you know, the drip pan from the oven. A lot of people throw it out or whatever. You can do a lot with grease cake. We pour it into the batter of a cake and we make, it's kind of like a gelatin, like flan type consistency. And it is delish. That sounds so gross. I say it sounds yummy for the clip.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
That sounds awesome. Gravy fondue. Always a hit. Big fondue tower, but it's gravy. I mean, I actually wanted it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
You just put the turkey in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
You actually might be onto something there. Or no, you are onto something because it's a real thing. Because this is real. Um, oh my God. One of my favorites is candy casserole. Yeah. We've all this leftover Halloween candy and we never know what to do with it. So we just put it, we melt it all into a casserole and there's like noodles and like kind of crumble on the top and it is just awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
That's fantastic. I know my favorite is like the nougat kind of mixes with the Butterfinger stuff and it It sounds gross, but it is awesome. It's good. We've got green bean casserole, not green bean. This was born out of confusion with my brother, but it's a bean casserole made with black beans and pinto beans that has a ton of green food coloring in it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And, yeah, it was just a miscommunication a few years ago, but it's become a hit. I love it. Well, we are big fans of the pumpkin guts pie. So, you know, a lot of people... I hate all of yours so much.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
you know most families they kind of they kind of disregard the guts and it's like it's kind of the most nutritious part of the pumpkin and so we put it in a pie crust and uh we mash it down we take we just like open all the seeds mash it down get all the guts like kind of all spread out the thin layer of crust and then a little whipped cream on top dislike i hate that shit uh extreme chutney
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
it's uh like you know like there's like airhead extremes and like shit like that like where it's like super sour so it's chutney but it's spiked with like super sour shit i love that so it's like really hard to eat what even is chutney chutney it's like a thick cranberry yeah i don't are there other kinds of chutney yeah i think it's what the heck is chutney i like that sir
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
the first result is what the heck is chunny um you know we we am at the fellow stones we've been trying to eat a little bit healthier yep and so a couple years ago we introduced the crouton salad where it's uh we take out all just kind of like the boring part of the salad it's just like a big bowl of croutons love that lots of dressing it's just a it's a lot of family fun that's delicious yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I would say the way you do it is you're blowing off a week's worth of steam in one night. They've been working so hard for five days straight that it's just... Chester was like, oh, I would just go to bed after. And I think it's like... The emotional rollercoaster of, like, that adrenaline of doing a live show like that. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, we do the adult carrots. I mean, you know, there's carrots, there's baby carrots. Of course. Adult carrots. They're twice as long as regular carrots. You have to actually weld them together. So you get two full-size carrots, and then you weld them together to make adult carrots. Nice. Yeah. This is a bonus one for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
At my house, again, you know, we're all about using every part of, you know, everything. And one of the parts of the turkey that kind of gets neglected is the gizzard. Oh, yeah. And so we do the boiled gizzard where, you know, you take it off and we just boil the fuck out of it. And when it comes out, it's kind of like a poached egg consistency. And it just, it goes down hard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I hated every one of yours. From like a, like they're disgusting. We took a different approach to this. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I'm gonna patent it. All right, you go. Tee us up. These are Thanksgiving traditions that don't exist. The turkey hunt. Obviously, this is a classic. It is that my parents will hide the turkey the morning of Thanksgiving somewhere in our house, just the raw turkey before it's been cooked. And so when all the kids get up, we all have a little treasure hunt around the house.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
We look last year was in the fireplace. It's kind of gross. It's covered in ashes. One time we found in the bathroom. So it's like very fun. You just kind of roam around the house and whoever finds the turkey gets to take the first bite. I love that. Well, we do the turkey stuffing where we see who can fit the largest household item in the tree.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
That's awesome. Yeah, last year it was a candlestick holder, and it stretched that thing out. Wasn't there one year it was a football? Yes. And then we use that for the game after it reeked. It was all slippery. Well, we do the turkey bowl of people we hired on Craigslist where we hire two teams of people from Craigslist to compete in a turkey bowl. None of us play. We just bet on them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
well I mean you did Thanksgiving with us last year and you got to see the gravy chug off in person and where we everyone gets their own boat and it's who can chug a boat of gravy the quickest yes I loved that one the 5k lottery
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
This is where instead of everyone running a 5K, we do a drawing the morning of Thanksgiving and one person has to just go run the 5K while everyone just chills at the home. Yeah, I like that. At the home. At the home. Well, we started doing this fun thing. We rig everyone's chair to it collapses after the person gains five pounds of weight.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And it's the first person to eat five pounds of food when your chair breaks. You're now the king of Thanksgiving. Oh, how sweet. I love that. The exchanging of gifts, probably my favorite. We all get each other presents and then it affects our mood based on how good the gifts we got are.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And you haven't been able to party all week, and then they just fucking let loose. But I guess I'm thinking about not the cast, even. Like, Jon Hamm was standing right next to me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And we kind of assign, we try to assign dollar values to the gifts that we receive and then affect our relationships moving forward based on the monetary amount that each person invested. Well, of course, you guys know we do the biggest poop at my house. And a common misconception is that it's about weight. It's not. It's about length.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Wow. money uh we all just it just says money okay yeah yeah that's where we all give each other money um like instead of gifts sometimes we just all give each other money Oh, nice. Yeah. That's fun. What the hell was money supposed to mean? This one's fun. We just go around the table and we guess who's high. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And if they are, we all get in around a circle and we go, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. That's awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I'm running out of ideas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No, I think you did do money one year.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, that does sound like something I would do.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
All right. What are you guys thankful for? Let's do an earnest moment of reflection. Man, I think there's a lot to be thankful for. Right. I don't know. I guess I'm, I'm thankful for just like my family and friends and it's kind of cliche, but I think like this weekend, like everyone come to New York to see my show and then getting to be with all of them after.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Brothers gotta be 50s or 60s, right? Yeah, what's wrong with that? I'm just saying, like... I mean, you don't just, like, stop having energy at 50, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And it was just very, um, very sweet to see. I don't know. I love the support of, you know, people around me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
This is also kind of an awkward time to tell you this, but we actually talked to Edge, and just because we want to make sure we still have clips coming out every day next week, you can't go home.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
But we're going to Postmates you Popeyes Turkey Oh great How sad would that be All alone here It would make me happy I kind of only I kind of only care about this doing well And like I understand Deep down that it would affect you negatively But I just have a hard time putting myself In your shoes and having any empathy for your situation It's just like because the podcast Would probably tank if you go home Yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
All right, what were you going to say, Rusty? Oh, I'm also thankful that I'm healthy. Nice. That does go unnoticed. You don't realize how nice being healthy is until you're not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Being up at 5 a.m., Jack, I don't think I've done that in a year. I don't even want to realize. I couldn't tell you the last time I was up at 5 a.m. And these guys are doing it every week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Oh, I'm thankful... I like the rapport that we've built. I think it would be a nightmare if we had gotten a year and some change in and didn't like each other. Agree. So I'm thankful that we have a good relationship. That's good. I'm thankful for the weather. I like that it's getting a little crisp out. Thankful that we have the ability to go see our families.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I think that's something that we might take for granted. And... I think it's cool. Will and I are going to Vegas on Thursday. Sometimes we forget how fun these opportunities are. We get to just go watch F1 in Vegas and that'll be fun. We're going to meet Wolfgang Puck. Pretty excited about that. I'm going to tell him about my gravy tower idea. We're going to make that guy fucking rich.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And yeah, I'm having a good week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah. It's awesome. Never thought I'd get to do this for work. Yeah. Very, very cool. I had something else to say to the playmates. I can't remember. We love you. We love you guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
All right, we love you guys. Have a fantastic Thanksgiving and a great weekend. And we will see you guys next Wednesday, I think with Will Angus. Catch you on the flippity-flip.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, I'm still saying it's a little crazy. I mean, they probably sleep all Sunday. Also, he's probably not doing that every Saturday. It's probably a rotating cast of celebs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I mean, presumably some amount of people are doing that every... Anyway, whatever. It was sick, though. Yeah. But yeah, Jon Hamm was there. I'm currently watching Mad Men, so that was like... Yeah, that's crazy. You kind of had to play it cool. It was like everywhere you turned was someone. You couldn't be walking around like big fan, big fan, photo, photo.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
For me, I thought the coolest one was meeting Matty Healy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I saw him from across the thing, and I was like, oh, fuck. I love his music. And then one of the... Like, a guy that we were with that also knew him was like, oh, I'll introduce you. Oh, nice. And he brought him over. Because he knows... He's, like, a fan of, like, Angus. Right. And he... There's no way... He pretended... He was like, oh, I love your stuff, too.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I thought that was my favorite clip.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Like, great to finally meet you, which... I'm taking that with a grain of salt. I think he was just... No, I think... Well, I don't know. There's no way he would say that if he wasn't positive. Because if he... Yeah. I mean, he'd probably seen me in some of the sketches. Like, he follows AFTV and stuff. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I was freaking out. And then I think he came to our show on Sunday, which is crazy. I don't know. Like, in disguise? Well, he... Like an old, like, Russian grandma in the back. Like, that's fucking Matt Ahili. Yeah. He's like really milking it. He said he was going to go, but I don't know if he actually ended up showing up. How did the live show go? The live show went awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
They're basically saying like a higher bar for entry for people to get podcasts because there's so many useless podcasts, which is fair. Agreed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Oh, I got another one. Andy Samberg on the way out. Chatted with him briefly. I invited him to our live show. I don't know what possessed him. He just goes, absolutely not. I was like, cool. He's like, I got a flight at 4.30. I was like, yeah, well, why do you have to say absolutely? I mean, I didn't say that. That's just so funny. It was pretty funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, and then like a bunch of the cast people, like Bone Yang was like super nice. Like, please don't destroy guys. It was sick. It was very cool. That's awesome. I, yeah, I don't know. It was like a very surreal environment to be in. Did you crush the live show? I crushed the live show. I carried the whole team. Everyone else forgot their lines except me. So I did all five parts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No, yeah, the live show went great. Any playmates? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, dude, so what sucked though is that Will and I are like, you can't leave this party we're at until it ends because it's the coolest thing ever. Right. And then it's like, that was the morning of our live show. We were out until 6.30pm. Uh, which was just brutal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No, thankfully. So I slept till like two o'clock. Um, and then we rehearsed and did it, but it was fine. It was just like kind of stupid in retrospect, but it was kind of like a when in Rome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Yeah, there was no choice. Like, I had to. But, yeah, the live show went great. We sold out. It was, like, almost 400 people, I think. Wow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Were you nervous at all? Yeah, I was definitely nervous. I was, like, pacing. It was really funny. Like, I wish there was, like, a video of it. But, like, the five minutes before the show, it's just all five of us pacing, like, back and forth in different, like, directions.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
but like there's like kind of like weird shaped like hallways and rooms so it's like you're just like passing different people high-fiving on the way back yeah but yeah it went it went really great the crowd is awesome i had so many people like that i like my family and friends like came out which was really fun did you talk to any any listeners after talk to some playmates after yeah shout them out dude shout out all the playmates i talked to after
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
At least a handful. My new favorite podcast is called Talking About Talk Tua. Have you seen these guys on? It's like two guys, and they break down really in-depth... of the Talk Tua podcast. The best part is that they always hold little gimlets. I can never tell what's in the drinks, though. It's like colors that don't exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
I was texting Sam. I was texting Sam, Will's brother, about this picture. Sam posted a picture of you and your family. And everyone is smiling. And I'm losing my mind. I feel like I've made Will laugh pretty hard. I've never made him laugh as hard as he was laughing in this picture. And I texted Sam and I was like, there's just absolutely no way...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
anything was funny enough and he was like yeah i don't remember i don't remember the joke but it like surely did not will's like it looks like he's possessed we'll put the picture right here did you repost this one on your story no your family okay then it was something else uh i didn't because i look fucking insane it's like everyone like smiling but we'll put a picture of it right here uh and put a picture of a bird wearing cargo pants right here uh put a picture
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Put a picture of me right here because I feel a little bit left out. Yeah, put a picture.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
No, put it over here. This podcast is brought to you by Triple. Triple is the original high seltzer with three milligrams of THC and just 15 to 20 calories. Triple offers a social buzz similar to that of your favorite hard seltzer. Light on calories, high on life. It's all natural, gluten-free, and again, just 15 to 20 calories.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
And I think it's awesome because it's all about enjoying the journey, right? You can have a few of these over the course of a day. You don't have to worry about, you know, when's it going to kick in or wear off. It's perfectly crafted to come on quickly and last as long as your typical alcoholic seltzer. 15 to 20 calories, that's pretty sick. We talked about this last week. It's truly insane.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
If you have three beers or three seltzers, that's 300 calories. And if you have three triples, it's like 60 calories. It's awesome. Insanity. Less than that. Triple is born from a desire to blend THC's social buzz with the social ritual of sipping on a seltzer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
Triple is currently available at grocery stores, liquor stores, bars, and restaurants in Missouri, Kansas, Iowa, Louisiana, Georgia, and Florida, and will be available in Illinois, South Carolina, Arizona, and Ohio by the end of the year. Looking at you, Cleveland. Looking at you, Lazy the Yogurt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
nationally is currently available online to get it now go to drink triple.com and use code playdate to get 10 off your order that's drink t-r-i-p-l-e.com and use code playdate for 10 off your order triple redefining the party landscape um we were uh yeah it was it was a hoot I was in the bathroom at Hanano's while you were having a killer night. I was also kind of having myself a killer night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
There we go. I was in the bathroom at Hanano's and you don't even just like forget. You forget that like outside the bathroom, like probably other people have to go. I was just in there peeing and watching TikToks and like cracking up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we hosted the world's first craigslist turkey bowl
at like whatever i was watching and some guy had come in because i think they thought i was like pooping like a huge line had accumulated and so he came in to check and he could just hear me like hysterically laughing on the other side of the door and the guy was like dude come on and so i came i came out and i was like i'm so sorry i got really distracted in there and footy was in the line it was like yeah dude you were facing like a full scale like mutiny
Will & Rusty's Playdate
drinking in 11 countries in one day
As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining the party landscape.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we interviewed the first ever talking dog
Jeder Läufer kennt diesen Moment, wenn es einfach klickt. Wenn deine Beine einfach mitgehen, der Schmerz nachlässt, die Zweifel weg sind und du nur noch das Runners High spürst. Das ist der Grund, warum du so früh aufstehst. Warum dich ein bisschen Regen nicht auffällt. Warum Laufen zum Ritual wird. Also laufe und fühle das Runners High.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
We built a Terabithia in my backyard when we were little.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
No, we just, in the corner of our yard, we had a big tree and we just made a huge... Swing and a miss.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Oh. No, she fell. What? It's not that dark.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Well, yeah, but I don't think it was a suicide.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I told you guys I was going to get hangry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Was he wearing just a t-shirt under?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I had a banana. Okay. I had a banana. Okay. All right, go on with your story. Yes, I know what an Irish goodbye is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
um i don't care my mom texted me yesterday or the other day and was like watching the pod and it's just so funny like she i don't even remember what this was about but she tells me that the point at which she turns it off and it's like she's like rusty started talking about like something and she's like that's when i turned it off i can't listen to all like the i don't know what exactly it was what i was talking about like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It is. I'm staring at the thing. Ah!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I was about to ask. Even if he doesn't care, I care. I care 100%.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Well, I don't have a first, but one of my favorite was when we got an iMac computer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah. Like, not my own, but just, like, because we had a Windows computer, and I loved to, like, make little videos when I was a kid. And then when we got the iMac, I was, like, so stoked that I could start using iMovie.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah. I haven't heard that. But you want to know why? Not to scare you guys, but in the last episode, someone was like, oh, no, Rusty's reusing stories.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Of course there's like the most... There's like a police chase.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Oh, yeah, you're right. What do you guys think would be the worst animal to have to run away from? Apparently a bear.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Sickening. I don't even want to think about that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I know they're cool, but they're scary.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
They have little particles on the bottom. Do they?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Okay, so it's my fault now. Kind of.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I think I've seen this. Oh, no, they're all coming.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
fine oh well you want to know why i did it's because he did he restarted the intro and he went play date so it like yeah no it's fine it's just i didn't want people to think we didn't do the number it was it was justin pugh we also haven't done our number now 60i yeah we have one more thing i wanted to tell you um so they slither by lateral undulation of the body oh that makes sense
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Okay, they use specialized muscles to move their belly, which allows them to move forward in a... Okay, I don't even care anymore. I don't care.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I couldn't disagree more. Emporium Thai food.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I've tried everything. Where have you gone for burritos is my question. Or like breakfast burritos.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You just said that food here sucks. It sucks compared to what they say it is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I've had better tacos here than burritos. Agreed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I've had a really good street burrito.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Have you been to that spot on Lincoln by Ralph's?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
No, it's not a truck. It's, like, a stand.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
He doesn't want to learn. He wants to hate.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You know what I realized? This is our last podcast of 2024.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah. And Chester Collins will be on that one, right? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I don't know if you guys are talking about this in your segments today, but should we do a little recap of the year?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
No, but that comes out on New Year's Day. Let's talk about the highlights of the year.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It's not like a big thing. It's just a little question. For me, the highlight was... Why wouldn't we save this for the New Year's episode? Well, this is the last podcast of 2024.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Oh, that actually did happen with Chad and GT.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I had a panic attack that day. Yeah, which is so weird. That was the last straw that made me be like, I need to get on Lexapro. Are you on drugs?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
So my mom and my sister were in town, and then they left. I dropped them off at the airport, and I think that triggered something. Ha! Did you... No, it was like... It actually sucked. What if she freaked the F out? No, I was just sitting at my desk, and then I started crying. I literally couldn't stop. Oh, my God. No, it's not fun, but it doesn't happen anymore.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
that's good that's cool i'm glad that it's working though i want to get off how does it make you feel i would it kind of makes me like well too like in the middle yeah i don't have the low lows i don't really have like the high highs you just feel like too like numb sometimes like it's like i'm fine yeah but sometimes i just wish that i would have like the more extreme like range of emotions yeah like i feel like i'm too indifferent sometimes to things fair enough
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Should I look up athletes that wear... Yeah. Or people that are 69. We always forget.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Chris Jenner. No, this is the Bill Nye episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Is that Bean? Is that the Bean guy?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
The one that's ingrained in my head is the one of him on the diving board and he's like crawling off of it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Is baseball the longest sport? Yeah. It's 162 games. For reference, basketball is 82.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
He's hot. It's going to be a good Christmas for me. I wonder what everyone's doing as they listen to this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Want. Wait. You know, you guys should do numbers that don't exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Oh, Slim. Slim? Slim. Slim? What's that one? Slim's in the 80s.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
What, the pitches? Yeah. No, I couldn't find any. But the ammo the assholes are. Will, did you mean to make your thing stand up?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Oh, wait, that's funny. I like that a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Do you guys buy lottery tickets often?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I'm listening. I'm in the conversation.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Pitches. Pitches. I'm so excited to eat my pasta after this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
All right. Hmm. This pitch is from Damara Nasir. Sorry if I said your name incorrectly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Damara. That's a beautiful name though. Okay. Hi, Lauren and the Lego masters. My pitch is Spotify wrapped, but make it maps. See how many.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Go, go, go. The girl in your apartment.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
miles cities states even countries you've visited throughout the year at the end you get a route of your most frequently visited places and another that has places you should revisit based on your contacts it also tells you whose house you visited the most it also syncs to your contacts so you can see the places you frequented together the most now when your significant other asks you how much you love them you can give them a number based on how many kilometers you've driven to see them love from sydney oh i
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Girl in your apartment. Girl in your apartment.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
This year? Oh, just this year. Oh, I forgot. I thought it was life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Comment down below how much money you have.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
We're not actually doing that. If you want to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
All right. Should we do the next pitch? Yeah. Thank you, Damara. That was a fun one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
this pitch is from delaney delaney jersh she says hi lauren and my parasocial best friends what is the worst thing about going to concerts having to pee the band is like half the time that the it's not fun all right she says wait i want to guess actually sorry sorry okay
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Okay. She says, having to pay for expensive tickets just for the headliner but not caring for the opener or vice versa. So I introduce to you Swap That Seat. It is a separate website or add-on to ticket sellers. Swap That Seat!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It is a separate website or add-on to ticket sellers where you can pay only a portion of the cost to see the headliner and then someone else can pay for just the opener so that once the opener is over, you can take over the seat. It is a good deal for both parties and you could even have a partner you always swap with. Thank you. Yeah, that's fantastic. Such a brilliant idea.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You guys got to explore her older stuff. Not to be that person.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah. That's so true. Packing it up. And two other ones were on the deluxe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Keep that camera angle. The rusty adjust.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I did that once. Should we do that trend for TikTok? Yeah. Should we do it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I know, and you didn't know any of the words.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Don't do that. Troy does that face.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I don't know why I just thought of this. Someone commented on Spotify and they were like, why does this chick yawn so much? Get some sleep. I was like, oh, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Okay, love you, Spotify. We love Spotify.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Okay, well, what do you want me to do?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Sometimes one or more soldiers of the firing squad may be issued a rifle containing a blank. This is believed to reinforce the sense of diffusion of responsibility.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Wait, that's wild. Should I click on the text?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Wait, why? What was wrong with this one?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
What if I only want it to be memorable but not worth remembering?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
She loves our pod. She wants to be in here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Oh, he's in Long Beach. Let's go. Wait, how do you do full screen?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Are you guys going to get me a cake?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Okay. Am I the asshole for banning alcohol from Christmas? Yes. Bye. Bye. Bye. My husband's sister called to ask what she could bring. I told her about my no alcohol rule. She didn't say much, but must have told the rest of the family. Some of them started texting me asking if I was serious and saying that it's lame, but I'm not budging.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Now it turns out my husband's sister is hosting an alternate gathering that almost everyone is choosing to go to instead. It's so disrespectful because they would have to spend or all because they would have to spend one day sober. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
See, for me, it, like, makes it more fun. It makes it the most fun thing in the world. Like, I love my family, but drinking.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
i think my body i think my body is like rejecting wine now i used to love wine and now even if it's like a wine that i think i would like like a sabian blanc it just tastes so white wine lady yeah well i tried it i tried to drink red no i even had red last night because i made pasta and i i bought red over the weekend and then i didn't end up drinking it so i had a glass last night and i was like i don't enjoy this i would rather have a good cocktail or just like a beer
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
This one's quicker. Am I the Asshole for disconnecting a car battery? There's a car in the neighborhood that alarms frequently, like 20 plus times a day. It takes several minutes for the owner to turn off the alarm each time, and it's incredibly annoying. Last night, it was late, and the car started alarming again. The owner turned it off, and the alarm started again within three minutes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I was able to find the location of the car, and since it kept alarming anyway, I was able to pop the lock, pop the hood, and disconnect the battery. I took the battery out and left it in the driver's seat. My friends and family are split on this. Some think it's hilarious justice and others think it's an asshole move and possibly criminal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Note, I wore gloves and there was no cameras to capture my image. I don't expect to have any repercussions. So am I the asshole?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I didn't know it would be that loud.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I don't really mind it. I can buy myself whatever I want.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
We're not doing gifts because we're like doing a trip instead.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Bean or something. I'm a grown man and my mom is paying for me to fly home. That's very nice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Well, my headphone thing popped out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I'm taking Rudolph's because I'm going to be the center of attention. Cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Okay. Speaking of packages getting stolen, didn't Chester's bike get stolen like 20 minutes ago?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Oh, wait, so I can figure out who you have, too, because you sent it in the company? Wait, I'm confused.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
wait are you lying nope i got fucking rick and it's ruined oh it would have been the best oh he's he doesn't know that i know you know rick's having a baby boy dude i know i just learned we should bring something to softball tonight me and ava wanted to do that they just announced that he told us he told me and ava this was so cute last last week i don't know if you were there last week but as i wasn't i couldn't make it that's why we lost yeah yeah it's true
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
As we were walking the parking lot, it was, like, me, Ava, and Rick. And he was like, you guys, like, I have really good news. I'm just, like, bursting at the seams. Like, I haven't told anyone yet. Like, we're having, like, a baby boy. And I was like, oh, my God, Rick. We were the first people he told, and I was like, I'm so honored. We should get him a jersey. No, we should bring something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we auditioned for a reality dating show w/ nut
90 Day Fiancé is like that, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we auditioned for a reality dating show w/ nut
My name is Matthew Salerno. And I would have been a doctor coming out of northern Italy. And one of the things I would have been trained on is uroscopy. All right. The uroscopy flask is the symbol of the sergeant as much as the hat or the guard corp. This fluoroscopy flask would be used by giving it to the patient for them to urinate in it. And then you would look at color, clarity.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we auditioned for a reality dating show w/ nut
You would sniff it. You would feel how warm it is. You would listen to see if there's any clinks. The final step... would be to taste the urine. The taste in the urine is one of the more important steps because that gives you an idea of whether or not they have the sugar disease. Sugar disease would lead to diabetes. That's the gist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we auditioned for a reality dating show w/ nut
Rusty's song of the week of the day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we auditioned for a reality dating show w/ nut
Don't let them control your dreams.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we auditioned for a reality dating show w/ nut
You're going to ruin your life. There I go bragging again. You have a job. You have people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I don't think our knees would crush. I think we would burn or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It has two moons. Foobs. Is that what it says? Foobs? Where? Groups. The first sentence.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Maybe we'll get robbed. Garp! When I was outside of the Future Birds concert, I was standing there, and a guy came out, and he came up to me, and he shook my hand, and then he goes, oh, fuck, fuck, what was it, what was it? I was like, what? And he goes, what's the fucking rice joke again? Fuck, fuck, and then just walked away. He was trying to think of Rice Pilaf, too.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
What could it be? But, dude, trial reels. Yeah, did it pop off? Rice Peel Off 2 blew up again, and then The Speaker Died is now blowing up again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
That's like a normal person who just call or text. I think every inbound call has to go through someone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I'm not saying he can't text. I'm just saying I don't think that he's doing it. I think everything's coming through someone else.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Oh, you're the guy who said you'd want hiccups for your entire life. I know, he texted me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Never really had any pence, except Cookie, my dog, died when I was eight.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah. Hmm. And it took four hours and was excruciating teaching all these people. I think my bird game is getting out of hand.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
That's what Lauren just told me this morning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Cheetah can... Fastest animals ranking. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
An 80 mile an hour fish? Do you realize how ridiculous that is? Dude. Jesus. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's that big one?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Have you ever seen the Mitch Hedberg joke about Bigfoot? No. He's like, maybe Bigfoot is blurry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Oh, I was at my buddy Brett's house last night and he has this like tea thing. It was awesome. We were playing poker and he had this like teapot thing with like the tea right in it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
yeah that's that's me that's what i uh something about taking money out of tip jar five guys that's what i do yeah oh yeah oh he's right there yeah oh he's in park county do you ever grandpa ever tell you a story and no yeah sorry
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
He's like, I was king of the teenagers. Apparently, he showed me the news article. There was some award in Cincinnati for king of the teenagers where they would award it to the coolest teenager or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
If he's in 80s. Oh, the 20s. 86 right now, then he was born in the 40s. Yeah. Around 1940. I tried to say the 20s. Late 30s, early 40s.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, I know. I'm just trying to... It would entirely depend on the circumstances of the war, but I might be a draft dodger, which is kind of scary.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It sounds awful, dude. War sounds fucking... I still don't get how it worked.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
What are you talking about? World War II? Yeah. Hitler conquered like all of Poland.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Well, I mean, they definitely conquered Poland.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Oh, you're picking up the pace then. I thought it was one a week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
This tastes better than a peanut butter jelly sandwich from your mom, even if she cut the crunched off. Seriously, can't say enough good things. I love this product. As you know, I've been drinking it for a long time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
and now you can join me and we can be drink buddies and we can start a drink buddy club like how you have a book club rusty has a book club i'm not in i'm now starting a drink buddy club that he's not in um and you can be part of it if you go to amazon and buy some accelerator so order amazon accelerator accelerator is available on amazon go to amazon and order accelerator that is a tongue twister and a half let's get back to the episode
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
My body and arms are fake. I'm not really this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And I didn't shit him. I fucking checked and I hadn't shattered him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Oh, yeah. I haven't told me about that. I was trying to find out where to park for the music festival, and I pulled up to a cop that was directing traffic, and I was like, excuse me, where's the best place to park? And he goes, first of all, stop drinking. Parking lot's down there on the left. And I was like, all right, thank you, sir. I mean, this isn't, just go, just go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I was like, okay, all right, all right. And I was like, that's insane. He thought I was drinking.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Oh, Lauren. You walked right into that one. Oh, no. You walked right into that one. Oh, God. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
But they got gold or something, because the food was nice, and they wouldn't let us sit at any of the tables.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I wouldn't want to kiss Lauren's boyfriend on the mouth either way.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I'm stepping on peanuts left and right, and it was just a nightmare.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Then it's gone. No, Lauren gets... But I think she has the right to want it gone. Yeah. If she looks... Yeah, you get to protect your image.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
How much was it? $1.75, dear, for this little package of Twits. That's crazy. Look at this thing here for $1.75.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I know. Well, talk about a cool dad. This is the type of dad you and I are going to be. Okay. This is a dad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Dude, they have that in like the Star Market in Chestnut Hill that I used to go to. The grocery store, it was like on the second floor. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
That sound was dramatic. Jesus. Granny Wilding.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Girl, girl, girl. Wait, really? It sounded like girl? Yeah. It's supposed to sound like goy, doy, doy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, it makes like a crazy noise. It's like goy-doy mixed together.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Oh, okay. This is something, sort of a fun fact I encountered.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And then her husband got there, and she goes, I was just telling them that I would sleep with any one of them. I'll be their side pieces. It's like, our hotel's right there. In 20 minutes, we'll go there and come back.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Actually, this is kind of in the realm of cheating, but it happens. So I won trivia last week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
This time was fine because we knew the answers and Jerry had quizzed me on them and I had gotten them when he went through the NPR thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
the funniest part of the concert I was at was we were like up on the balcony and then there were these two guys like to the left of the stage like losing their minds like knew every word to the songs like going crazy and they were I was like what are they wearing and I they kind of got more visible and they were both wearing Larry Bird college uniforms Indiana State they both had the same jersey on going nuts is there any like future birds Larry Bird
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I mean, I pop it off for once in a while just to get some air in there, but I'm kidding. Ohio State is in the national championship today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
We now take a shot when our quarterback walks away from the team. Tommy Castellanos is no longer with the team.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
She can't knock over an individual cone. No one tries to steal a cone. And then when you're done, you can just eat up in the machine the long cone. It just melts it back down into the material, and then you can just re- I love that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
What are some of your favorite Greek myths, Rusty?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
There was a man back in the day, Pontiales, and Pontiales never talked. He didn't like to open his mouth. He didn't like to say anything, just kept his mouth shut. And Spicus, the god of conversation, took very poorly to that. And so Spicus kidnapped Pontiales and took him and gave him a piece of chewing gum and And then Pontius was like, okay, I'll have the chewing gum.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
And then he went off and started chewing it. And what he didn't know is a cursed gum that immediately ran out of flavor and he could never stop chewing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
Why, if that isn't Sammy Paradise, old two eyes himself.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
Eyes off the merchandise the lady's spoken for. Hot dog.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
I'm going to go to the bathroom and suck my own dick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Oh, that's a great question.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
If I'm homeless, I'm picking it up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, that was nice. You offer him money, you said?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Oh, no, it was just straight up C. Smith. I think it might have been straight up C. Smith.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
God, this is back in the day. I'm 48. So, no, yeah, this is my first football jersey. I was like in seventh grade or something like that. Maybe even younger.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
He still wanted to do something nice for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah. Yeah, that guy's awesome. He's like an autistic guy trying to do a good thing. Ooh, no, $20 is not good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
$10 is what I was allocating mentally to help you out with.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
He becomes the second.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
At a Flip Turn concert. Hey, man. We're talking Flip Turn. It's the hottest show in town, dude. I would have expected those to be worth $30.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah. She was like, hi, I'm Jeff. Jeff's name's Pizza.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got another one. Because my uncle and my cousin and my grandfather all have the same name. So there's a second and a third.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, yeah. He was probably in the booth a lot. A lot of music.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I'm imagining like a Nick Nolte type, like super gravelly voice. I invented the Minecraft theme song. Oh, you kids.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah. I'm just picturing like a very grizzled, he's been through a lot, a dusty guy. You guys have no fucking idea.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
my uh my friend uh in florida he had a substitute teacher who like every time the sub would come in he was just like make this case about how he's the one who actually created ice age and they stole his idea and he would like bring in all this like comic books and stuff that he had of like ice age did he do it My friends, honestly, I had the guy for years. I'm pretty convinced that he created it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Oh, the sub would do it to the kids. The sub did it to the kids, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
They're all named Steve Smith. Yeah. That's why he's my favorite player. Steve Smith is my uncle. You just like, yeah, you like like lineage. Blood related. Biological uncle.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I get an audience of 30 every single day, five times a day. Evangelizing your own case. Where'd you go to high school? I went to high school. I grew up outside of Tampa.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
No way. Are you guys going to Fort Lauderdale? I've heard of it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Nice. You're going to have a good time. I grew up in this town called Brandon, Florida. Let's go. Yep. Let's go. They were pretty happy about that when that became a thing. They leaned into it pretty hard. They sold merch. Yep. They did. And yeah, I went to the mall. I was visiting my parents and I went to our mall. And there was this Florida store. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
And it was just all Florida memorabilia and stuff. And it was all Let's Go Brandon stuff. Yeah. They got really... Stumbled into a gold mine. The governor of Florida...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
during covid drove from tallahassee the capital to brandon fry like from and went to a branda honda dealership to sign an anti-vaccine mandate as like a fuck you to joe biden that's what he went to brand he went to brandon for like the yeah this isn't this fuck you joe and he was in a honda dealership Someone's just showing up trying to get an accord.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Is that Ron DeSantis? Yeah, we're kind of trolling the president right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Oh, yeah, he wears lifts. Honda Santus was good. I can't leave you out for that. That was good stuff. That was good. Thanks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I remember this. There was, like, a shot of him sitting at, like, a panel. Ronda? No, no, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
My Ronda joke got in her head. Ron DeSantis. Governor of Florida. Ran for president. Kind of a big deal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Those are insane. Let's get a zoom in on those though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
And this is a formality because everybody's familiar.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Florida's just one big swamp.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
that rules he's awesome yeah he's an idiot he's a freaking buffoon you know it's funny my dad a few years ago like my dad uh wears like a size nine shoe he's a tiny teeny tiny little guy and i'm 11 and a half okay but all right it's not a competition come on it's not a competition guys you got me beat um but it's Again, you know, it can mean anything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
But my dad, a couple years ago, we're in the car and he was like, hey, you know how like I used to be a size nine shoe? I was like, I guess. Yeah. What do you mean used to be? He's like, well, I got my feet measured. I'm actually 10 and a half. How does that happen? He's like, I don't know. I was just wrong about the shoe size.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
He's wearing a size and a half too small of a shoe for like 30 years.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Well, he finally had that done. Yeah. You know, probably because he got vulnerable enough to, like, let another man touch his feet or something. Yeah, which is kind of a red flag. It's a big deal for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my dad was in the army, so he had, like, government-issued boots. Oh, okay. That were like a size and a half too small. Yeah, that's insane. That's insane.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
So did you move around as a kid? We moved around a lot every couple years. Wow. I know. Never let them know your next move.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I lived in Pennsylvania for a little bit. And one of the times I was there, we lived there twice separately. For a year, we lived on this military base. And it was awesome. As a sixth grader,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
People just think that it's just your random friend Ryan. I've been loving the new show. Thank you so much, man. Yep, comedian.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
like it was safe living on a base so our parents would just let us run around oh yeah and the base hadn't been like renovated like the homes since like the 70s so it felt like you're living in like a time capsule where was it sort of this is in carlisle pennsylvania okay yeah it's like near harrisburg and um born in lancaster Oh, no way. Yeah, I got an uncle who lives there. Amish country.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Near Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
This is not real. Amish people are so sick. Oh, blue ball. Forgive me. Yeah, that's, I mean. But it's close. You know, it still achieves the joke.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, Amish people are awesome. They're very heavily inbred. Yeah, they are. That's the thing. And you could see it too. You'll be driving and you'll see a guy with like one eye on like a unicycle and he's got like a donkey behind him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
They just can't drive them. So they all are so funny. I'm not picking up a Hills Have Eyes creature.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
and stuff the camera makes it so much better
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
He didn't know about like daylight savings.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Doing donuts. It's actually insane that these people exist. It's really crazy. This is like white privilege to a teen. If black people were Amish, there'd be like a mall in the middle of intercourse Pennsylvania. It wouldn't even exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I don't know, but I think they do vote. I think they vote. I don't know. I think they vote. Can you Google do Amish people vote? Because if they vote, they vote like uniformly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
It's the same with like Scientology and the Orthodox Jews, like a lot of these big groups.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, if you get one, you get all of them. It's probably just one person who fills it out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
We made it for you. Yeah. So take your time, really. Honestly, it's okay. But, yeah, we put out me and my friend Yvette Segan, also a comedian, not just my friend. There you go. I feel like I have to say that. He's catching on. Yeah. We co-created a web series about run clubs, really mostly focusing on one specific run club that people did not really join to run.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
yeah yeah what but like what about them is quicker like they don't they've gotten really good at woodworking but they don't know how much time we spend scrolling yeah they spend all that time woodworking well it's like how you know like like in in like the desert they found like human footprints where like they've done like speed tests and they've estimated that these like humans had like a average speed of like 15 miles per hour really yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
and like australian shit yeah like like you know these are like thousands of years ago but like we would like we were like on foot all the time yeah that's them oh my god like they're not yeah they're living a different time yeah no it's literally it's so bizarre yeah it's crazy dude you could put a vr headset on one of them and straight up kill an amish person dude
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
What do you think would happen if we gave them an accelerator?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Terribly, terribly, terribly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
it's like yeah all right very very serious question here yeah why do we not enslave the amish like give me one reason why we shouldn't think of the work that they would be doing it's a good point it'd be the work they're doing now yeah we could give them a slightly better housing we'll give them air conditioning yeah i hate that Even better. I think they'd love it. Less money, lower overhead.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I did not text them. I don't know what WhatsApp is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Oh, this guy. This guy looks inbred. All due respect. I mean, he doesn't know. Do you think he knows? Do you think he knows that's not okay? What's the... I mean, I don't know what life is like in the Amish community. Maybe 14's on the table. I think it is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
They joined to, like, meet other people and hope so. Like, yeah, hooking up, some sucking. That's what they do in run clubs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Merv. Dude. Merv Stoltzis.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Pennsylvania's a weird, there's some darkness there. He was a good guy. He was a good guy. He wasn't an Amish guy. No, Merv is a good fellow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, dude. Freaking... Pennsylvania has some weird shit. A lot of racist people in Pennsylvania. Yeah. I was in like... I was up there not too long ago driving around like the country, whatever. It was on my family. And I was like, man, it's really beautiful out here. And then we see this... Guys driving this like pink convertible car.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
and you know like my uncles that kind of make like joke about it or whatever my brother said something like you know what that's an i would drive that car take it on the beach you know it's kind of a vibe and then we get closer to it and there's like this big like nazi like the falcon eagle thing like on the back of it and we're like i'm like i don't know if i drive that car actually you guys have a point it is pretty lame
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
they do they do they do they do they do honestly i we got the idea i was in like this bar in in new york like it was like this hall and it was like kind of middle of the day you know it was like a weekend yes it was house and um in the west village or the village area and i was getting lunch it was like this hall
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
And then the guy pulled over, and it was this shirtless blonde guy who looked like that guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
It was really weird, dude. Yeah, it was pretty funny. And you got closer to it. It was like an old car. Got it. I mean, I guess it could have been a VW, but it wasn't like a Mazda or something like that. It wasn't like a Toyota Corolla or whatever. It was like an old...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
like nazi memorabilia oh vehicle yeah and he pulled over in like some shit barn respectfully yeah fuck it i mean fuck that guy yeah fuck that guy's barn and his cool car like a ufc guy you ever see someone with a tattoo that you're like that would used to be a swastika Oh, I think I saw this picture.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
We're not going to. That's a pass. You guys get the flag. Pennsylvania, beautiful, beautiful place. But definitely, you get a little bit of that. You get a little bit of Amish.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
No, I don't think they're Christian. But they're just like... I'm not super familiar with the Quaker. I learned about the Quakers. Honestly, I kind of forgot about the Quakers. I knew a couple that I went to school with. I'm not kidding. So you grew up in Lancaster?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I really wish I could see you. Can I feel your face?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Do they dress differently? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
i think of the hat i think of benjamin franklin wasn't he a quaker yeah yeah i think quakers were big like abolitionists too why pennsylvania for all of them though it's one of the ogs one of the original 13 colonies right yeah and uh william penn was a quaker i believe i think you're right i think you're right about that yeah yeah the founder of he was granted land by the king of england quaker
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
He invented Pennsylvania. William Penn. Dude, so is James Dean. What the hell?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Good company there. Did you ever hear about his Porsche?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Wow. That's kind of bad-ass. What was that? I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I like mice. Mice are adorable. I would have a little pet mouse that I'd carry around and put in my pocket. That would be good. Like a party trick. My best friend. God, you guys would like me better if I had a mouse. You ever see the movie Serpico? No. Great movie. Based on a true story.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
whoa yo that's right no way jim serpico starring al pacino got nominated for the academy award little sydney lemay oh yeah yeah i'm looking he did that before he did heat and uh great movie but he has a little pet mouse he carries it around that is pretty big vibe yeah very good drives a motorcycle has a pet mouse that's kind of how i see the next six months going for me yeah what's what's uh what's next for dan carney
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Growing out the hair, going to maybe grow a beard, going to take things a little less seriously. Life is short. We got that asteroid coming. Yes. You guys seen that? I kind of try not to look. Every day the percentage gets higher.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
One day. Wait, is this true? It's getting higher? The percentage is getting higher. Of what? The whole world getting obliterated? No, just like a city that we don't live in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I feel like if it hits the ocean and it's close enough to the shore, maybe there's a tsunami situation.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Or maybe, like, the Amish community. Yeah, fuck it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get bombed. Intercourse Pennsylvania. That's how they go extinct. I... Don't look up, but it's all about Amish people. Well, they wouldn't know it's coming. They have no idea it's coming. They have no idea it's coming.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Did you actually? No. But it's a classic bar where Mumford & Sons would play.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
what in advance yeah we will know like we also have we have like like missiles we can also blow it up like yeah yeah wow yeah that's another thing i'm working on trying to try to figure out that how we're gonna do that blowing up missiles yeah blowing up a an asteroid yeah that'd be fun that'd be really cool that'd be a great like moment we all watch it like a bucket list item for me blow up an ass looking it happens right do you know dan carney was the
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
He did that Run Club web series and then he pivoted to blowing up the asteroid.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I loved what he said about the Irish.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
What did he say about the Irish? He was like, March is like National Irish Heritage Month. He's like, you're not supposed to like the Irish, but you do. Fair enough. He calls it how it is, man. Yeah, discrimination against the Irish. It's coming back. I'm Irish. Yeah, yeah. Same. All of us. Really heavily discriminated right now. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
They used to hate us. They used to hate us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I've been blinded, man.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
He's awesome, dude. He unfortunately is the funniest man alive. Really, it's unfortunate. Even like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
i watched the apprentice movie yeah which was really really good yeah it was really excellent and like they do not i mean it's great because like they don't make them like a caricature but he's still like a totally irredeemable yeah human um but even like that being the case in the movie he does call aids gay cancer dude and it did make me laugh i'm like this is really fucked up a divot dude
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I got there just before they did.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I had that little hat on. It was a great time. But there was me and three other people, and that was the only people in this huge hall. Then I go to the bathroom.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Were you watching The Apprentice? Oh, you didn't watch The Apprentice movie. But is it because you're like, I don't know, Jeremy Strong. You know, his portrayal of Roy Cohn. I did it first. It's kind of redundant at this point. Some of the choices he made, I don't have gone down that route. Trump hates the Irish. That's a big development.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Lauren's Irish too, right? Sorry we're up right now. Sorry we're up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Isn't that interesting? I remember when I moved to New York, there's like this place in New York. I guess we can say it. Yeah, we can say it. There was also a TV show called The Mick with Kaelin Olsen. Really? Yeah, it was on for a few seasons.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Oh, you're right. It was on network television. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
It was very funny. But I remember I was in Alphabet City in New York, and it's a very grungy area in downtown Manhattan, and people are selling... They'll sell things on the street that you... It'd be like the cord to a home phone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
right they're like selling that oh perfect yeah great i'll buy this and one rubber band do you have hdmi to usbc by chance just one half of that the other half's cut off and so they're selling that but i remember there's like some guy like screaming at someone calling him a mick and i'm like damn like this is how like grungy and like gritty this part of new york is they hate the irish here they still yeah geez it was great lauren you ever faced any irish prejudice no
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yes. Okay. It looks like that. I'm in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, I think Irish people... Also, we do... they're sort of like drink and fight yeah fuck yeah so it's like we're guys it's just like okay these people are drinking all the time and they're fighting and they're multiplying at a little alarming rate i would hate us too it's true dude we're winning i know we're winning we're like a we're like a disease yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
That's like extremely problematic. Is it really? I mean, I feel like more so than the fighting Irish, the Vikings like raped and pillaged. Oh, I thought you meant it like... I thought they just pillaged. No, they raped. It's okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I'm sorry. You were going to find out eventually.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
No, keep going. I didn't know where that was going. What were you going to say?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
You excited for baseball season? Can't wait for opening day. Big baseball fan. All my favorite players and home runs. I wore a Red Sox hat. The smell of that freshly cut grass. And the sound of the ball.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
And a nice hot dog and my best gal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
That'd be fantastic. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Where? When? Oh, you're going to Florida? This weekend, yeah. Oh, I'm not going to be there. Unless you guys invite me. And I'll just change my plans and come.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Oh, they sold it out? Yeah. Damn it, dude. That would have been so much fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I'm here until Friday. Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, leave tomorrow. Leave tomorrow. You guys out. Damn. Damn, dude. You'll get to pillage in Florida. That'll be sick. Damn. Yeah, pull up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Okay. Things I could lie about. Like you saw Michael Jordan naked. Just something about me. I'm surprised that hasn't come up. I don't know. My mom dated Shaq. She went on like two dates with me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Navy blue sweatpants with cottage cheese. Ew. That's so funny. So it's you and that second grader. Yeah, I'll take it. Fuck it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Shout out Nico Harrison.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I think it's awesome. Well, this is tough. A big part of my family was actually killed by a driver wearing a VR headset. So it's... Yeah, for that reason, I'm out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, just a full VR headset. He was playing Space Invaders. He was bowling, actually. so he's trying to be the first guy to bowl a perfect game while driving he almost did it too yeah he got close in the ninth frame he killed my family so most of them a big chunk of them yeah so for that reason respectfully i think i have to be out yeah i i think i like i think i like it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
not not dude we saw a kid do you remember we were at lsu no we saw a kid doing that but he had like a bowl and he was doing it just like while driving oh that's awesome insane oh nice i'll see you guys yeah my mom went there really yeah yeah that's sick you know my week oh shit uh never mind i what we talked about a little bit my uh my i didn't tell you my mom actually dated shaquille o'neal yeah that's insane is that true yeah that's crazy yeah and honestly she did not see this coming
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
See, like Shaq. Yeah. Oh, she dated him when he was Shaquille.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah. I mean, I didn't know him. I was this is before I was born. My dad's not Shaq. Yeah. But yeah, they dated for a little bit. And then she settled on a five, eight white guy from Philadelphia.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
uh he couldn't dunk that was like a big what yeah yeah he like it just it was like a mental block and um yeah my mom like tried to help him but then they broke up and then he like became shack that's insane she was the only thing holding him back i think so yeah my dad is this a true story yeah that's wild yeah man yeah it's true
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I know. I thought this was real. Yeah, I'm not joking about this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
You're getting shacked? You got shacked.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Actually, I watched something recently where Shaq was like, I couldn't dunk or I wasn't dunking. And then my dad stopped the game and was like, you need to dunk. And he's like, I became Shaq. The ref's like, hey, sir, you can't stop the game. He said his dad came down from the stands and fucking smacked him around and then just started dunking. That's awesome. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I guess I just assumed that you saw that video. Yeah. That's how my dad was podcasting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
You did get Shaq, though. Yeah, I did. I got Shaq pretty hard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
We can get to that later. Sorry, so you're in this hall with three guys. This reminds me of that time where we hung out with this underage girl and we tried to go to this bar, different bar. Actually, I don't know why I brought that up. But anyway, this... Most people have tuned out by now. We're at this bar. There's like me and three other people. And I walk out of the bathroom.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
It's still Steven Tyler. Yeah. My friend partied with him in L.A. They, like, jammed together at, like, a house party. That's crazy. This is, like, fully true. Like, Steven Tyler was, like, playing the keyboard. My friend was, like, on the drums. And then a bunch of people, like, came in the room and started getting, like, crazy. And, like, they stopped playing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
But he was, like, just hanging out, getting fucked up with Steven Tyler.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
It's hard to recognize people out of context sometimes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah. And my most... You ever have, like, a friend that's, like... And I'm holding up the segment here. No, no, no. Just, like, they have, like... It's fine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Okay, yeah, yeah. So I'll just keep going. It's like one of those friends where the more you learn about them, the less you know about them. Yes. Those types of friends. Yeah. So this is my most interesting friend. Who is it? His name is Ben. His name is Ben Sweeney. He was actually in Run Club. Check it out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Dan's having so much fun. phone right now I'm trying to think on where I stand on all this you know I'm staying with somebody else this weekend or I was yes until I got removed and it's been pretty cold
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
pretty cold in there you know um just like their hearts yeah yeah kicking you out for kicking me out but i i you know his wife's fine being his wife's totally fine um his wife's fine she's fine like as a person she's okay yeah yeah as a person she's fine she will as a hostess she is she's a hostess she's kind of the worst kind of a huge bitch she's kind of a bitch
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I go in the bathroom. There's like no one there. And I walk out. Boom. Now there's like 600 or 700 people. Like hundreds and hundreds of people. I'm not exaggerating. All wearing all black.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
And I feel comfortable saying that now after they've kicked me out. Yes, yeah. But yeah, not a ray of sunshine in this dark world. But anywho, it's been pretty cold. And I felt like as a guest, I couldn't say anything. Yeah, you can't say anything. And now I'm in my room, I'm freezing, I'm layering up. I shouldn't be doing that. I like to sleep completely naked. Is that true? No sheets.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I don't like that. That's not true. I don't sleep naked. Have you ever tried it? I've tried it. I don't like it. I don't enjoy it. I need a little bit of separation. Are you a pajama bottoms guy? Not a pajama bottoms. No. Just underwear. I need a pajama top. Half a onesie. I sleep fully clothed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Hoodie. I sleep in a hoodie. I sleep in a hood. I've been sleeping in a hoodie because it's been so cold in this house. Yeah. Now, I live in New York. I don't even need to sleep in a hoodie because I can control the environment of my own space. Right. But being in someone else's home, this invention –
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
and i'm like what what the hell is going on and this is before like run clubs are really truly like entered like at least it was the first time i discovered them found out what they were and it turns out it was a run club right and if you were all black it means you're single yeah yeah so we're like holy shit everybody here is hot and horny this is like i have to like you know parody this were you guys wearing you guys like coincidentally wearing all
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
is appealing to me so i would invest i'm picturing you on like sunday putting on seven days worth of clothes and then never taking them off for the whole week each night what i've been trying brushing my teeth 14 times on sunday so i'm good for the whole week is that true yeah wow all right i mean you have a little somewhere but you'll get that next week probably from a bagel
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
And it's like an ultrasound for your shit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
You piece of shit. Wow. Are you a Giants fan? No, I don't care.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
We got hawked. We got hawked. Fuck.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
i was wearing a black t-shirt oh that's good and you know i did think about coming back not running but just wearing all black and being like man good time out there guys um but uh it was like and we left and the line is around the block it was like this huge phenomenon and now it turns out this is like one specific run club right in new york but um i made a video like making fun of
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah. Sam Donald coming back to the West Coast where he's from. San Clemente kid. That's right. Welcome home, brother. Capistrano Beach kid. It's a short plane ride to hometown.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
That actually is kind of big news.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Stinky, dirty man in house. They don't leave stinky, dirty everywhere. Stinky, dirty man or woman.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
They know what's trash.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
So imagine Sean Penn being a garbage man.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
He was also gay for several years before he did Milk. That's not true. It's true. He won the Oscar. Yeah. You know Will was gay for a summer?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
He was Harvey Milk's lover.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Oh, really? She was one of the other city councilors. Oh my goodness. I haven't seen this movie in a few years. I'm due for a rewatch. Yeah, we should rewatch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
It is a great movie. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, I would watch it again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Oh, that's great. That's right. Yes. We didn't get to do that last time. God, we're overdue. Yep. All right. So with that, I'm out. Fair enough. I'm out too. Fuck it. Should we do... Do you have a pitch? No, I wasn't informed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
You know what? I have a good thing. I have a back pocket pitch. Yeah, BPP. All right. This one, you guys are familiar with socks. Of course. We'll have them on. What's the only thing that's missing from your sock that some shirts have? Buttons. A pocket. Socket. Sock pocket. It's like a little frocket for your sock. I actually like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
that parodying it and then if that was like this would be a good idea for a show and really yeah let's let's do it so our run club in this show is like people joined to like hopefully meet other people find like not really even love but more like a one night stand and they're largely like unsuccessful and those pursuits you know they get drunk take drugs and you know yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
And it would go here, and it's purely, mostly aesthetic, but you could throw, like, nickels. It's like the one on your jeans that has, like, the little bearings. Perhaps some, maybe even some paraphernalia. Marbles. If you're going into, like, a music festival.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Or a concert. But a marble... To challenge someone. A jack.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
A dreidel. A dreidel. Any sort of small game. Dice. Yes. Dice would absolutely come in handy. Tokens of some kind. Tokens. Yes. Yes. Poker chips.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
What did you say? I don't even want to repeat it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
there's some utility that's what i'm trying to say but obviously like a much like a frocket yeah very much an aesthetic choice yeah i like that a lot though in or out i'm in and i think we should our second product should be it has like buttons like a flannel has so you can have like a more relaxed look yes 100 have some like like show some leg hair and like different uh different like colored buttons you can really have some fun with the design
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
zipper socks i like that for technical use yeah we could try out the zipper it's i think button like a classic button you know this is there's a certain like you're saying button in the pocket yeah i think he was just saying socks that like button up so you could oh i love that i love that yeah that's great kind of a more casual i always felt like this was a very flattering part of my body right like you know the front half of my heel yeah yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Can we tell you about this one?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
We just teach each other something. I could teach you guys stuff. Yeah, you probably know a bunch of stuff. I'm way older than both of you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah. How old are you, Dan? I'm 20. I'm going to be 29 next week. Oh, wow. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to Dan. So I'm actually not that much older. Yeah, that's not that old.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Tunnels, submarine... Submarine? Yeah, horseback... Pilates...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Wow. Did you guys like it? Yeah. I liked that a lot. Yeah. And where's Canada? North. Okay. You need a passport. That's step one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
We're doing a live show in Toronto. Oh, congrats. Well, you could try this out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
It's just weird all around. I think I've been seeing more people with their passports using it as a form of ID. I wonder if that's going to become like a cultural trend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
You get arrested. Well, it's just really tough to get a new one. But yeah, putting it in a picture, I mean, that guy's a piece of shit. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
they but they thought it was they like they were all they're all they're dumb they're like dumb people they're just like dumb people they're just like guys like a stupid person thing haha my passport's in a pitcher of beer that's hilarious you're like a stupid person it also like ruined it like ruins the beer for the rest of us
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah. Yeah. And it has nothing to do with their parents having money. I didn't even consider that. Yeah. Okay, Garrett. Garrett's on thin ice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
He did it. Oh, yeah. Here's my social security guard. Throw it in the toilet. Oh, it's in with the piss and shit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Come on. There he is. Order a chocolate milk for the bar and put my birth certificate in it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
For all the stuff so you can do it. That's what we do at the bar.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
We love when you do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I'm going to go with 400,000. Wait, what was that part?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
60 miles? From Boston here? No, sorry. For some reason, I'm always in Maine. Rusty.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah. I call them Nazis as they're waving and like calling other people over and it's just these two tall, blonde, beautiful people. It's Chris Barnes and Caroline Benowitz. We had a lot of great New York comedians. Alec was one of the hot guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I mean, maybe three, three, four miles. Yeah. Yeah. 60 for me sounds like a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Imagine that's all you have to focus on. It's just getting to the door.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
They need to get out of this podcast studio. They've heard the B facts every day. Good God.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
All right, you do this guy rocks. Well, I want to teach you guys something. Did you guys know that giant squid can grow up to 13 meters in length? Wow. Did you just read that? No. How do you know that? Because it's a cool fact. That is a good fact. And we've never caught one. There's no live giant squid in captivity. Have we killed any? Really? We found dead ones, I believe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I don't think we've ever killed one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
They're like real life. The kraken is like a legit thing. Yeah. 13 meters. It's like 40 feet. They're massive. Giant squid are some of the most interesting. That's fake. That's totally fake. That's 160 foot giant squid.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I bet it's real. They're massive. Dude, these things are huge. Imagine eating one. It'd be delicious. I would love to see one, not in the wild, but it is like a sort of a bucket list item for me to see one live. Holy shit. Hopefully not in the wild. I got to see him live. I follow the giant squid.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Alec Flynn is the hot guy who I'm quickly very intimidated by but then realize that he's super cool and I'm just trying to impress him and I annoy him with my friendship while the girls are trying to sleep with him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Giants could be a good band name. A good DJ name or something. But yeah, they're pretty big. That's fucking crazy. Love Giant Squid. Beautiful, majestic creatures. We know so little about the ocean, guys. Hold my hand. There's so many deep stuff. So many depths we haven't explored. Some people say we know more about the space than we do our own oceans.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I like to say we know more about the oceans than we know ourselves.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
There's probably one inside of us. Yeah. Somewhere deep. Somewhere deep.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I'm ready for the anglerfish phase of my life. Yeah, giants quit. They're huge. That's actually insane. Pretty big. So yeah, the more you know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Alex Dragovich is also in it. He plays someone in the run club. Shovelhead alumnus. Shovelhead alumnus.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
You coached that. That's coachable for sure.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
And she was like, I don't think so. Mind sending me that link, though? What's her at? Just throw that in the car on the drive home. Oh, God. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
What high school did he go to? That's close to where I grew up. Really? Yeah, it's in Florida. Oh, nice. It's a Florida boy here. I like how he's realistic. He's like, 2028, we're not going. Yeah, yeah. This is a long ramp up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Look at the size of that shirt that he's wearing. In Florida, not everyone has stairs. That's a good point. That's a pretty big... Because, you know, the foundation is... It's tough to build on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah. Where did you guys hang out in high school? That was a great question. The McDonald's parking lot. Yep. Pretty big. Really? Yeah, yeah, pretty big hangout spot. Huge hangout spot. I remember telling- And this one called a sack, which we called the sack. And that's where we go to smoke weed. We're all smoking weed and grabbing ass. That was it. Pull up to the sack. Smoke a bowl in the sack.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
And then behind this one laundromat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
i've got the munchies now dude that's happened to me before really yeah like you know you get like this happened to you and you get like you're like you're like smoke weed and you're like i could maybe some snacks more than i know yeah like a burger yeah yeah or like pizza yes while you're high is crazy like taco bell yep yeah dude that's happened for sure and yeah especially in florida right yeah it's like a big thing that happens there yeah people get like the munchies there it's crazy
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
He's my roommate also. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that crazy? Very funny stand-up comedian.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
munchies are Florida specific dude I went down to Florida when I smoked I was way hungrier than normal it was crazy my friend when I was in high school did like work at this pizza place that was like was literally they would like the owners of this pizza place they were like trapping out of the pizza places and like moving like an incredible amount of drugs out of there so my friend he worked there he would give I would get like an eighth of weed and a pizza for like ten dollars it was awesome
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
That's sick. That was a pretty good set up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I can give you a whole pie.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Oh, delivered? I do that all the time, but I feel like it's more normal maybe in... I don't know. I only want two slices.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I'm on Rusty's side here. I've done this many times. Many, many times.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yep. Yeah, you fucking pretentious. I'm on Team Rusty here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Really? Yeah. What is happening?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Fields-like? I think the Jets are just cursed. Yeah. That sucks. You're all over the place.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Ooh. Let's go sayings. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
These are... Jesus Christ.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, I'll start us off. All right, I got one. Not everything in the cookbook gets eaten. Sometimes you're just not the recipe they're looking for. I like that a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, Lawler kicked me out. So yeah, I'm here for a week and I was staying with Jack Lawler for a couple nights. Really good friend. Really good guy. Yeah. Did ask me to leave his apartment. How do you even do that? Wait, like... You expected to be there the whole time? I don't know what. I was hoping. And, you know, the wife got back into town, and it just, you know, his priorities shifted hard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
You're just in your yard. Like, they need to come up with expressions.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
So it was very clear how he got there. That's great. You've got to pull from your surroundings. Okay, is it my turn? Just because the post office is open doesn't mean you have to mail something. Yeah, you've got to think twice before you speak.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
If you don't look at the easiest way to do something, sometimes you might miss it. I like that. I like that a lot. This is my worst one. A deer don't die on purpose. I like that. Come on. A deer famously not suicidal, yet they get hit by cars all the time. Yep.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
That's all I got. That's all I got. Cool. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Strawberry-covered chocolates. Chocolate on the inside, strawberry on the outside.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Spaghetti, just no sauce, just the noodles.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
um i've got a long and bumpy it's a it's a banana covered in nuts and chocolate and uh that's good it's called the long and bump that's great yeah that's awesome um all right uh candy bubble gum okay we all know the best part about bubble gum is the taste yeah worst part you can't swallow it yep right this is you can chew it you can swallow it It's candied bubble gum.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
And you're catching it with the spoon?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Like a chocolate fountain sort of, but for whipped cream?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
i got lunch shakes sorry again lunch shakes it's lunch flavored milkshakes like turkey club uh tuna tuna melt and uh cob salad but you pick like the three worst lunches it'd be sweet it'd be sweet like ice cream forward it's like a for real yeah it's it's like a shamrock shake but for like a pastrami sandwich
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I am hungry for one right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I guess you get to pick what's in it. I don't know. Damn, dude. You come up with that on the drive over here. I was in the shower.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
That's awesome. Thank you. That's great. Two of yours are like events. Yeah. Like it's someone's birthday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
This changes everything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Wow, that makes sense.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
You've got to do the head bobby thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
You've got to see it, but you played him in that play. Yeah, I didn't know about the head bobby thing. You should watch The Apprentice on the way to Florida. It's actually... The part that I saw was pretty good. It's a fantastic movie.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
She texts them to me like weekly. So they just go to different parks around the country and sort of review stuff?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
So they work this in with their stick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, my cock was so big. Yeah. Dan X to large.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I guess maybe I went back in our text. There was some sort of exchange. Yeah. about like you could stay here for the weekend and I read it as the week and I don't know maybe I just I got caught up in having a good time with him yeah and you know it flew by and now his wife's back and you know she's fine She gets the job done. She's awesome. But, yeah, they did kick me out. Where are you staying?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Watch Run Club, the web series that I co-produced and co-created on YouTube. I'm going to watch it. That'd be great. Join me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
That'd be great. Join me. All right. Thank you, Dan. Thank you, guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I think I'm going to... I sent some texts before we got on air. Okay. Yeah, yeah. He put some feelers out there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
So this pod's, what, like a few hours, I imagine, by the time we're done. Yeah. Yeah, yes. So is anyone using this couch after the podcast? This is a comfortable couch. It's not bad. And I venture no one's here at night. No. And I'm coming back tomorrow morning. You're doing the other pod? I'm doing the other pod. But you did ours first. This was a big priority. Yes, I appreciate that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
No, thank you guys for having me. We're warming you up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I love the number 89. I loved Steve Smith growing up. That was my favorite football player. Do you know that we do that? What? That's what we do. You have to guess someone who is that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
But you got to think, that guy's probably tried every iteration of sleeping outside. Yeah, he would know. So now he's like, let's just get creative. All right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
It's almost like I haven't watched every single episode to this point.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
The worst part about your day was the best part about his.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
You lost your phone and he found one. He's like, hell yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I tried to FaceTime him. I didn't know that the homeless guy had it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Like a butter knife? No, no, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
It was serrated. It almost got through. You brought a knife to stab a homeless guy? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, that was my first NFL jersey. Really? Yeah, that was my first sports jersey. I was born in North Carolina.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I like to think the first thing you said was thank you so much.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
You didn't say that's my phone. No context.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
We were talking to each other.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I was like, wow, this went the best possible. I mean, still it did. It was kind of crazy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I want to see like a crazy... Can you put spy game?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I think you can choose whether you want it to add or not, which I always do because I have become more.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
something with this dude yes yeah crab translator 3000 yes yeah yeah it was like there was like some crime that you had to like solve to save the island so fun oh i think my penguin's name was culver bear
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Yeah, I didn't listen to those.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
No, the girl that one of the pitches I'm going to read today, she just sent a picture and was like, oh my gosh, yay, I'm wearing the merch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Are you guys going to do one today?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Wait, oh, this baby's crazy looking. Sorry. What? I like him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I want to know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
It'd be crazier if you had a whole bag of big carrots.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Love carrot cake. It's my favorite cake. Oh my gosh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Oh, yeah. No, yeah. We should think about snacks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Dude, what are you saying? I actually have tears running. You just texted me. Do you guys have to do the spin the wheel thing again?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Come on, come on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
i said to will that if people show up to my wig party without a wig you're not allowed in no i'm gonna give them like a mustache and give them like the gnarliest shot ever wait say it again oh yeah i like this idea if they show up because ava ava was considering coming without a wig she's like i don't have a wig i'm like go buy one yeah what i was like i'm gonna throw you off the balcony if you show up without a wig but i'm not gonna do that because instead i'm gonna make them wear a mustache and give them like a shot of my work or something
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Wait, it should be something funnier. Like what's something like horrible? Punishment. Punishment.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
You guys must have been taught like different measurements.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
This is like so insane.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
That's scary. Why do you want to get in there?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
It's like a trapezoid. Yeah, look how much room you have from there to there. That's like three feet right there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
That reminds me, I don't understand how people...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Wait, what was that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I have so many questions. How did he get down there?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Why was the baby down there?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
You heard this story personally from someone?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Oh, when you guys were kids, did you have memories of... Were you allowed to go on email and stuff in middle school or have...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Yeah, if anyone wants to send me a car.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Like were you allowed to have an email? Because I have memories in fifth grade having an email and then hear my mom pulling the driveway and I would quickly like X out and log out and clear my history.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Like my friends. It was nothing bad. Oh, you remember Gchat?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I was just so scared. I don't know. I wasn't allowed to have Google Buzz.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I'm just trying to get memories.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I made my portfolio laurenhogland.com.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Yeah, well, it's just like I have photography on there and stuff.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Okay, this is hilarious. You can scroll down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Wait, I've heard of Mitch Perkins.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Okay, that's why.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Wait, this is so funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I know. Should we, like, stop for a second?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
What'd you say?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
It was like an old cop car. Or not my specific one, but like the brand or whatever you call it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
It was in like... Sorry, I'm not rich.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
That's not true, actually.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
That's not true. Don't get into that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
All right, Will, what were you going to say?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
What are you referring to right now?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I don't think you need to stress yourself out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Wait, Will, what were you going to say?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
About my car. He was talking about my one of one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
That's funny. Pitches. First pitch is from Maja. I don't know how to pronounce it. Maja. Well, hello again, the three of you. Funny seeing you here. I come bearing another billion dollar idea. I don't know about you guys, but I sure used to love playing Club Penguin as a kid. What a time to be alive in a game where there's endless possibilities in many games.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
This is exactly why I bring to you Club Penguin Island. It is a Club Penguin theme park similar to what I think Universal Studios or Disney is like. I got no clue.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
um i got no clue i'm not american you could take part in all the best parts of club penguin in one-to-one scale city it's got everything the pizza making game the sledding the mind cards the card jitsu and the fishing and more you can even buy little puffles and stay in igloo themed hotels during your stay the merch possibilities are endless here i think if the budget is high enough we could even include the weird secret agent side quests they had it'll pay for itself in a week
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I go to the log cabin.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
You say the coolest stuff. Next pitch. Thank you, Maja. Next pitch is from Sof, Angel Baby Sof. She says, Hi, Lauren and the Laurenettes. I have a pitch for you. What is the worst part about sending an email?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Okay, well, she says...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Oh, my kids don't have peanut allergies.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Wait, can I finish the pitch?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
We're all over the place. Okay. Well, Soph says that the worst part about sending an email is not knowing if you're accidentally attaching the wrong file and sending your boss a tastefully black and white but ultimately embarrassing nude photo of yourself. Right. That is why I bring to you the Email Embarrassment Eliminator.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
This works like spell check and you can use it right before hitting send to scan your email specifically to make sure that the right attachments are included and that you haven't mistakenly signed off with. If you need anything, please hesitate to ask. Never have an emergency HR meeting again, or at least not for that reason. Love the pod XOXO Sophie.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
This is a great podcast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Put it by the mic so they can hear it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
It's a vibration. I want to see if I can hear it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
yeah and not very good video this video should be linked whenever someone searches for the term taken out of context but how would how would that have been taken out of context you just watch the whole unedited clip um when you watch the whole video it's pretty obvious he was never seeing the moon landing never happened he was restating her question about why no one has been there since the apollo program and he just said his thoughts about why the apollo program wasn't continued
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
How do we keep getting all these?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
No, I think that would be amazing. Any flavor.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
There's not good for your digestive system.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Wait, why would I? I don't take your stuff.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Oh, I would come and take one. You would come and take one, yeah. Well, I would ask, of course.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Wait, can you just slack that to me so I can have it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Wait, so how old were they?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I've always wanted to see that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I feel like there were a lot of other good ones.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I think this was the Oscars year where they accidentally... Oh, they announced it wrong? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Like never putting yourself out there. I think that's my biggest fear.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Yeah, that's actually my biggest fear.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I started daydreaming.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I think we had this conversation before.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I was thinking about how... Oh, wait. Did I tell you that one of my friends from college is coming to my wig party tomorrow?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
This guy rocks today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
What a weird episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
All right. Who is this little fella?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Excellent English. Unfortunately, the story does not really translate the same. Great work.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
People are actually giving English tip here in English. When you say what transit says, how can I call you? You say, what is your name?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Yeah, family guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
That's so funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I didn't know what else to do. That's what I was daydreaming about. I was like, I want to prank them, but I couldn't make family guide.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
My husband recently built an outdoor shower and he's been so stressed because he didn't pull any permits. You can totally call him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
And she sent the wrong number, so I'm sending you the right one now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Like, it's too high.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Okay, let's be like... He's nervous because he doesn't have any permits. So, first be like, we... oh so there's a real yeah like be like we notice you don't have any permits for your outdoor outdoor shower like our guys are looking at it right now but then we also notice that it has to yeah it has to be at the bottom or something
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
And then you won't need...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Wait, wait, wait. What was the one you were gonna do?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Wait, I'm so sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Yeah, it doesn't have to be. It's our podcast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Go on, get! Get! Perfect.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I'm cutting that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I just won't, I will never answer, I never answer calls anymore that are random.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
They're going to hack into my phone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Comment down below what you're going to eat or make.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
It's so sad, though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
No dog. Yeah. Dog farts are bad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
That's funny. You just brought up Club Penguin because one of our playmate pitches is Club Penguin themed today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I liked fishing when you'd get the big fish.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
and get banned dude i would post up at the beach like where you do that surf game and i remember pretending i would like go to try try to find like surf hotties that was like i'd love to i would i was kind of i kind of had a post up at the beach fetish actually yeah i remember getting carried away with that as well
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
Pocahontas? Yeah. Lauren, Google if Pocahontas had anything to do with Thanksgiving. But Google where Pocahontas is from.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
I wish that I was Jesse's girl. Wait, what is that? What is the lyric?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
Again, that's lucy.co slash Friday and use promo code Friday to save 20% on your first order. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
Or dolphin. Did you guys hear what I did yesterday?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
Why wouldn't you just ask for forgiveness later?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
Yeah, I can do whatever I want in my yard. I don't have to call it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
Yeah, I was also watching Harry Potter yesterday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
Wait, does anyone know why? Can you Google why doesn't Voldemort have a nose?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
Did you know... This is another Harry Potter fact I learned.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
It's Rilo. I've watched the show hundreds of times.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
Bye, Chris. And Will and I, you guys know what happens on the 69th episode. Everywhere.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
Keep your family close and your job close. Hold it. Hold tight. Neglect your child. Neglect your children for your job and career success. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
Have a great rest of your day, week, and weekend. We'll see you guys on Wednesday for our Christmas episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
And I was like, yes. And she like got on the comms, like, we'll meet you guys back at base.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Confusingly also named Jackson. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh, I remember the musical. Shout out, Portland, Maine. They're like, get out of here, man.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh, the one with the fucking line down the... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Just for you guys? He's like, dude, best day ever. I'm having a great day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I'm trying to get back into overalls. I used to have a corduroy pair. Put a picture right here. And they were fucking killer. That's awesome. I was also like five. So they like... Look cooler. The clothes looked cooler on like... Like that's when you're proportioned to look like the swaggiest. You ever see like a dripped out like toddler?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I'm like... Cause like here there's not as much... It's like hotter. Like I feel like you can... Do more with your outfit in colder climates. Yeah, you can swag out a baby. So, like, New York is just... Oh, my God, you're pimping out your baby.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
That was probably not great phrasing. Baby hug.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
But, like, yeah, just, like, getting him, like, swagged out. Pimping out your baby.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
And how does he feel about... If my girlfriend was...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
The big city was LA in your mind? In my mind.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Warst du ein Altersserver? Mein Vater war ein Altersserver. Ist das großartig? Was auch immer du willst. Sag einfach alles, was du willst. Du musst es finden. Hier ist ein Hund, der wie ein Dreieck geformt ist. Das war epic.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Yeah. I don't know. It's huge.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ich glaube, ich habe keine... Ich habe keine Talenten, um mit Tour zu gehen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Was wäre die Tour? Die rusty Featherstone Tour? Wir sollten eventuell Live-Pods machen. Ich weiß nicht, das klingt echt schrecklich.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Okay, wenn wir einen machen, machen wir einen, aber wenn wir einen machen, musst du ein Gast sein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Seriously, we've been drinking these for a few days now. These are absolutely delicious. Dare I put down some other flavors in my rankings? I think so.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
It's getting through the workday fuel. It's cotton candy for Andy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
So if you have a friend named Andy out there, you could use that when you give him one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
He and his cousins, like, I guess they, like, had to do it, or I don't know why, but, like, they would be on opposite sides and see how much they could flick each other off without the priest knowing. And then one time the priest turned and my dad was, like, mid off and they got reamed out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I wondered that Ich dachte, dass das der war, den wir alle teilen werden. Und dann, als ich da hochgekommen bin, war ich immer so, wie kriegen sie ihn in die perfekten Räume aus? Ich wollte die Mathematik in meinem Kopf machen. Erinnere dich an den großen. Ich hatte einen großen, komm schon.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Whenever we decide to start recording, Lauren gets up and makes eight adjustments. Will and I have a hard time focusing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Auch mit dir oder mit deinem Geist? Jetzt ist es mit deinem Geist. Ein Komedian hat ein gutes Beispiel dafür. Wir haben alle aufgehört, in der Kirche zu gehen, bevor sie all diese... Außer du bist ein gewaltiger Katholik. Ja. Ich bin zum ersten Mal in ein paar Jahren zurückgekommen, als ich bei Rollins war. Und es gab all diese neuen Sachen. Ja. Ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ja, also musste ich das nicht memorisieren. Ich musste immer lesen. Ich ging in die katholische Middle School und ich glaube, ich war der Beste beim Lesen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
So, da bin ich wieder geblasen. Du bekommst neue von diesen jeden Tag.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Anyway, he did that. That was brutal. But anyway, anytime a kid was sick or whatever or bailed, I would have to read. So I did a lot of reading up on that. A lot of shit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Got it. It was like a memory tool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Warum protestieren wir? Ich denke, es ist dumm. Ich denke, wir sind elektrisch, sind wir nicht? Ich meine, das ändert nichts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Or, Mary, you can guess someone who's... No, we're just going to do the things and not explain it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ja, sie sind alle... Ich hasse es, dass es... Wenn ich einen sehe, dann werde ich es ausbrechen. Ich mag es, wenn ich vor ihm rumlaufe. Es gibt keinen Mann darin. Mein Vater sagte, sie kamen hierher, um zu besuchen. Und es kam ein Feuerwagen. Und manchmal ist der Waymo so... Es ist wie, es ist einfach so, dass sie immer noch lernen, was auch immer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Und so hat es sich überholt, aber es war nicht ganz da. Und er war so, ich weiß nicht, ob das intentionell war, aber es sah aus, als ob die Jungs in der Feuerwehr mit dem Waymo verletzt waren, weil es kam an den Waymo und sie schlurfen Richtung es und es ging in einen Spot und sie gingen weiter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ich fuhr nach Hause und es war so, dass die Polizisten einen Mann übergezogen haben, wo sie die Straße ein bisschen blockiert haben. Und sie hatten ihre Sirenen an, aber es war so, dass ein Polizist da war, der den Verkehr um den Polizisten-Karren wackelte. Aber der Waymo konnte das nicht herausfinden. Also wurde der Waymo verletzt. Und dann war der Polizist wackelnd.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Warum muss ich denn mit diesem Thema reden? Lauren, kannst du den Kerl, der sich in einem Parkplatz befasst hat, aufrufen?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Das ist der Grund, warum ich das nicht mache. Warte, ist das nur ein Video von denen, die sich alle aufrufen?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
On the 97th, or on each episode, we guess someone who's either that age or has worn that number.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Das ist großartig. Also, sie versuchen, sich zu parken, aber sie gehen alle in dieses eine Parkplatz und sie werden aufrufen, wenn etwas nahe kommt. Also, die ganze Nacht in diesem einen Apartment in New York. Ja, schau dir das an. Das ist der Grund, warum du nie einen Fahrrad fahren sollst.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
So we know Connor McDavid wore it, but that's too easy. Can we try and guess a 97-year-old?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Alright, you get the gist. That's wild. I think these things are fucking evil.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ich saß in der Vorderseite, als ich gestern da war. Nicht der Fahrer. Nein, sie lassen dich nicht. Aber ich war einfach da und ich war so... Ich glaube, es ist ein slipperiger Slope.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I think you got to think about it this way. If they take over, we're putting taxi drivers out of business. We're putting Uber drivers out of business. I'm not giving money to a robot. Ja, ja. Aber was ist der Preis für die Plätze, die Touchscreens zu bestellen haben? Das ist wie jedes Restaurant jetzt. Was? Wie McDonalds? Ja. Das ist nicht jedes Restaurant.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
He's a hockey player. He's a hockey star.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh, ich glaube, dass man die meisten Plätze im Flughafen bestellt, die man auf dem Screen bestellt. Ja, ich meine, ich mag das auch nicht. Ja. Im Flughafen Kava kann ich mich immer noch in die Augen stellen. Ja. Yeah. Yeah, thanks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Or apps. They're putting people up. We gotta get rid of apps and tech. Who made that? Humans made that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ja, ich weiß nicht, ich bin nicht super gut auf Politik, aber ist einer von ihnen besser für AI als der andere? Ich denke, Elon drückt seine AI-Scheiße. Dieser Kerl schreckt mich aus. Ich auch. Einige von diesen Videos von ihm sind so lustig. He would be such a scary villain if he was cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I love Gru. What the fuck is up with Gru, man?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
For the people that don't know, our good friend Mary is a comedian. She's on social media. She's very, very funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
No one cares. Dude, if someone stole the moon, tsunamis would take over the whole world.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
So then it does kill people. Yeah. Guru's not a good guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
They're trying to humanize him. That's big animation trying to make us docile.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Vector, on the other hand, is bad news. I hate Vector. Him and Vector are coming at it from two different angles. Vector, I think, had a troubled... He was bullied.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
und so he's doing it with anger Gru I think is just power is power hungry no he was also bullied Gru what oh yeah oh y'all y'all haven't seen y'all haven't seen Rise of Gru no is that Minions Rise of Gru no I don't like the whole Minions thing okay not a fan okay what about Dr. Nefario I hate these guys now
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
You know we have one of them in here? No, look at me! Well, he's all of them. We had all of them in here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Alle Oompa Loompas sind von einem Schauspieler gespielt. Habt ihr schon Parent Trap gesehen? Das ist die gleiche Frau für beide. Linky Lohan. Ich habe das Film immer geliebt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Nicky Glazer? Dennis Quaid?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Jack Schlossberg makes me laugh. Jack Schlossberg makes me want to get into politics.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
You've been following Playdate for a while. Yeah, you've been a player. No, I saw the notification this morning. You followed this morning? I respect it. That's worse. I respect it. But that's worse than just not following. You know what I mean?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Schloss... Wie... Es ist direkt vorne.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh, das ist ein guter Punkt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ist er lachen? Nein, es ist so real.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Wow, er ist gut. So if he wasn't a candidate, Mary, would you be impressed by this?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I feel like everything he's done so far, I could do. It doesn't take much.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh, das ist besser. Okay, jetzt reden wir. Jetzt reden wir. Jack, ich entschuldige mich. Das ist beeindruckend. Das war nicht der beste Turn. Er ist ein Kennedy, Mann. Er kann alles tun, was er will. Two women at once.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
That's the dream. Mary, would you marry Jack Schlossberg, if he asked?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Do you think you guys would get along?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
He listens to this fuck. He's a playmate. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
He's got some sort of sash.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
He looks like a pirate or like a guy from Spain in the olden days, I think.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
A character in Don Quixote. Alright, should we road map it up? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Roadmap. Everyone put your hands together for the roadmap. This is where we tell people what they're going to hear on this episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Alright, we have a lovely episode for you guys today. We're going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches followed by everyone's favorite segment. Mary, say it with me. Teach me something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
followed by this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey and then we're gonna do old wives tales that don't exist followed by disney shows that don't exist and then we'll do rusty song of the day lauren let's hear some pitches mary you overwhelmed by the amount of segments no i'm prepared you do all of them
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
That's lovely. All right, guys, we are here to talk about one of our new favorite partners, Dollar Shave Club.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Honestly, Will's face game has been kind of the same since we've met. It's on another level. It's OP.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Randy, Paula, Mr. Wonderful. Actually I want to be Barbara Cochran.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Losing. Teaching your friends how to play it and they get overwhelmed and don't want to play it anymore. Yeah, that one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I have no notes. Yeah, I have no notes. I love that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I want it for other people, too. I'm so bad at it. Willy has very complicated board games. The barrier to entry is really hard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
oder Leben. Ich habe gesagt, ich weiß nichts. Aber es ist so, dass mein Vater versagt, dass die erste Person, die in Scrabble spielt, ihre Punkte doppelt. Und ich habe die Scrabble, ich habe die Scrabble-Ruhe zurück und vorne gelesen. Und das ist keine Regel. Und er ist so, dass es in der Regelbuchung ist. Wir haben immer das gespielt. Es könnte mehr nur die Haus-Ruhe sein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
What's Angela doing? Angela's like, I'm a tight ass or something. Und dann... Gib mir noch einen Trick. Stanley. Was macht Stanley?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Und dann kommt Michael Scott und ist so zäh. Er ist so... Oh, wir können es noch auf dem Boden essen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Michael trägt Jeans. Merida ist so... Gib mir einen. Und was macht Creed? Creed sagt... What do I do here?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Now you're Ryan. What does Ryan do?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
That's crazy, because you just asked me what Ryan was doing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ja. Und Daryl. Oh, Daryl ist wie... Daryl ist wie, oh, Warehouse. Daryl ist wie, I'm gonna go back down to the Warehouse, I guess.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
He's always in the Warehouse. And Bob Vance. Was was Bob Vance doing? Um, this isn't cold enough, because I have a refrigerator company. Alright, let's hear the fucking... If you don't want four minutes of office talk, do not bring up Kevin Chilly. Oh, also some punk band? put Kevin Chilli in their song and sent it to us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
They all yell Kevin Chilli.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
You gotta hear the new Meat Squirts album. It reeks. It smells so bad. Meat Squirts is vile.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Yeah. Do you know Pranktale, Mary? No, but this is... It's like that website, you put your friend's number in and it'll send them like a pre-recorded thing. Do they get to hear what I say? Yeah, it records it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Skyler Fulton wrote most of the Pranktile things.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Maybe it's him then. We had this neighbor named Brian Cunningham. Brian, if you're out there, I hope you're doing well. We used to call him year round and go...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Jack Frost nipping at your nose. He thought it was fine for the first couple of times and then he got really mad. We also used to call... That's an insane prank. You guys were fucking nuts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Wir haben, ja, wir haben Dinge bezeichnet, die nicht existieren. Das war ein sehr langweiliger, legaler Fehler. Das war viel schwieriger, als wir uns erkannt haben. Ich würde gerne, dass wir das Dokument sehen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Aber er lebte etwa 40 Yards entfernt. Also du konntest... Du konntest wissen, dass er in der Nähe war. Es war wie Homephone-Zeit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Du kannst nicht 50 Yard beschreiben? 150 Yard. Alright, sorry, what was the thing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oder wenn du ins Bett gehst, dann trinkst du Melatonin. Melatonin wäre lustig, weil du schlaflos schlaflos schlaflos schlaflos schlaflos schlaflos schlaflos schlaflos
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
So, Mary, du lebst in New York. Ja. Bist du Freunde mit meiner Schwester, die dort lebt?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
It's like this pain in your life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
What do you mean, like egg-flavored?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Yeah, you gotta know you're dying. Well, then you just, like... No, you just do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Mein Bruder lebt dort auch. Oh, ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Do you think we could make it, like, I would like them all to be, like, really, like, alt? Like, I want people to, like, think I have, like, a whole different side to me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I like that a lot. I'm in. I would invest. Will you pitch us?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
We used to throw Beanie Babies at my friend Chris' fan. And it just like, it ruined it. It was like off the wall. Like when you turn it on, it would like, kind of like broke the fan. And our friend moved into his house. And she was like, hey, yeah, like I love your room, whatever. What's up with the fan? It's like falling off the room.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
And he was like, yeah, we would throw Beanie Babies at it when we were a kid. And then we didn't tell his mom. Well, now she knows. I'm sorry, Mrs. LeBron. Mrs. LeBron? Mrs. LeBron. Mrs. LeBron. She just said that and you didn't laugh. I didn't hear it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Will does that to me a lot, where I will say something, and then he'll say it louder, and then everyone loses their fucking marbles.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
No, because I don't like the feeling of the air on my face. It's like hard to fall asleep when it's coming at me. So I have to cover my head or something if I have the fan on. So this is a fan that goes under your bed. And so you don't have to see it or feel the actual waves of the air, but you get the cooling and sort of circulatory effects of the fan.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
So I think Rusty and I have something to say.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
um i didn't when you did this gesture and said coming at me that made me really uncomfortable and my thing is just like you know we're trying to get more female guests and when you're being this vulgar like it creates a you know a scenario where people might not feel so comfortable when you're talking about things coming at you i mean like you can say it wasn't awesome i just
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Like when you... You're allowed to do whatever you want outside of work. You know what I mean? Like Mary and I can't control that. But like when you talk about your personal life and like things coming at you and it's like, you know, I try and see you as a friend. But like when I'm picturing like people like blasting huge loads on your face, like it's just hard for me to see you in that light.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
And that's really frustrating.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I'm sorry that you weren't a fan of that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Thanks guys, I'll be here all night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
What we're trying to say is it's not good. That's stupid. Thanks, guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ghost Fork. Alright, ready? What's the worst part about Pants?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
They're all for different occasions. So if you have, you know, work and then you have dinner after, you either have to be underdressed or overdressed. There's not a pant that fits all situations.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
sorry okay so what i was saying is someone needs to create pants that can strip into any occasion so picture the pants you know the pants that zip off into shorts yeah love those picture that technology but it's like right now i'm wearing corduroys i pull a layer off khakis pull a layer off jeans put a layer back on Carhartts. Sweatpants. Everything is in them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
If you're fully stocked, it sounds hot. Oh my god, dude. If you're on the top layer, you might as well be wearing windpants. They have snow pants as part of it. I had a friend named Alec Riggle and he wore wind pants.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Put a picture of Alec Riggle right here. Put a picture of Alec Riggle right here. But he would wear wind pants and you could tell Alec was walking down the hall because you would hear... What is wind pants?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Yeah, they're like those Nike... They're like made out of a material that doesn't exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Weil, vertraue mir, sie haben es alles gesehen. Und ja, es hilft dir, die beste Version von dir zu werden. Du zahlst eine flotte Fee für tägliche Sessionen, also schaffst du viel an Kosten und Zeit. Das war's für heute. It's like almost all of New York City. Almost all of New York City. Guys, it's convenient. You can join a session very easily.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Every time we go to a new city, he walks around like it's the last time he's ever going to be alive. He needs to see as much of the earth as possible.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Just one click of the button, which helps you fit therapy into your busy schedule. Plus, you can switch therapists at any time. So if it's not working out, you can move on to a new person.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
We love you. Let's get back in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
In the episode. This guy rocks. This guy rocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Alright, this is a guy. I've seen this, I've seen this. He's just in the zone. I don't know how else to describe it. But wait, Mary, watch what he does. Okay. Watch him very closely.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
But you go through, there's this part of it where it's like you entered a foreign country.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
A guy comes up to dance with him and he shoos him away. I need to see that again. He's the goat. I guess that guy's like the goat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Pause this immediately and I mean immediately. Okay, this is my favorite video that I've seen in a while. And it's basically just to set the stage. This is a wedding party. And all the groomsmen and groom are arriving via parachute. Oh my God. To make a grand entrance. And they brought a news crew to document it. And... Before we play this, let's all make predictions.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Mary, what do you think is going to happen to the wedding party that is trying to arrive on parachutes?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ja, die Szenen sind in einer anderen Sprache. Welches fremde Land wäre es? Israel, wahrscheinlich. Das wäre der eine. Sind sie diejenigen, die ich gehört habe? Ich weiß nicht, ob es sie ist oder eine andere Sektion. Sind sie diejenigen? Sie entfernen alle ihre Belohnungen einmal im Jahr. Ich habe gehört, dass ein Garbage-Mann gesprochen hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I want the groom stuck in a tree. Dangling. You might, I don't want to spoil it, but you might get... Something that good or better. Lauren, we zoom in a little bit so you can see this up close. This is the hardest I've laughed in just a while. Alright, let's see it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Du denkst, dass jemand einen Sketch gemacht hat und eine Auto-Fahrt mit 40 kmh erfüllt hat?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Was meinst du, das ist ein echter... Google, Google, wie Barschütten.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Du, der Typ, der in eine Auto-Fahrt fuhr. Du warst auch so, ich hoffe, der Bruder wird in eine Türe gefangen. Ich habe es erfüllt. Dein Wunsch ist gegeben. Barschütten in eine Geburt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Was meinst du, andere Leute machen das eigentlich? Wir haben es gerade gesehen, es ist tatsächlich so. Ja, ich glaube dir. Ich glaube dir. Ich habe keinen Grund, nicht zu. Es fühlte sich nur wie ein Sketch an. Das war hysterisch. Es war zu gut, um wahr zu sein. Ja, sie rocken. Sie rocken. Okay, Mary, hast du einen Mann, der rockt?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Gut. Wusstest du, dass Edwin Booth, John Wilkes Booths Bruder, John Wilkes Booths Bruder, John Wilkes Booths Bruder, Abraham Lincolns Sohn vom Tod rettete? Also, bevor sein Bruder den Präsidenten getötet hat. Robert Lincoln, der Sohn von Abraham Lincoln, fiel zwischen einen Train und die Traintracks oder so.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Und Edwin Booth hat ihn von der Hülle gefangen und hat ihn direkt vor dem Train ausgelöst.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Er ist ein Hero. Er hat den Präsidenten Sohn gerettet. Und dann, nicht zu lange später, hat sein Bruder den Präsidenten in den Kopf geschossen. Allerdings.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I also like, we've talked about this before, but like John Wilkes Booth killing Abraham Lincoln back then is the equivalent of today like Woody Harrelson's brother shooting Trump in the back of the head. Woody Harrelson's brother. I know that guy. Yeah. John Wilkes Booths Bruder, Edwin might have been, was one of the most famous actors of the time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
John Wilkes Booth was his brother who was lesser known and didn't get as many parts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Okay. If you lived out here, you would end up there at some point.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Garbage men hate religion. Hate this secret religion. Wait, everything they own? I'm pretty sure, unless I made this up, I'm not like. But there's also like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
And he's like this tall, handsome, like gorgeous guy. And she's like stunning. Und es war einer von diesen Hot-Couples, die einfach zusammen sein sollten.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Und dann lungt er sich nach ihr und ich und dieser andere Hero versuchen, ihn zurückzuhalten, weil, ich weiß nicht, es war wie... Ich und dieser andere Hero. Es war nur ein paar Leute, die einfach Heroes waren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
It's like a million dollar Porsche or something. And... Oh, du weißt nicht, wer das ist? Nein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
He's been in like one movie. But it was great. I was like, welcome to L.A. Did I tell you guys when I saw Kesha?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
That's crazy. Who was it? Let's guess. Mike... Ruziane. White.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Beattie Feldstein ist Jonah Hills Schwester?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
One time I was leaving a parking garage and I was blasting Miss Jackson by OutKast. And Andre3000 jaywalked in front of my car.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
No, no, that's a true story, but Will hates it, because he saw 152,000 like two days before. And then when he told me, I was like, no way, I saw him this morning. And he doesn't believe me, and he hates when I tell this story. No, it wasn't that I told him, and you said, no way, I saw him this morning. It was, I told you, and you were like, oh, that's cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
And then you came in the next day, and it was like, I also saw him now. I did. It was sick. There's no way. It was fucking awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
You racially profiled someone. No, it was killer. It was fucking awesome. You didn't...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Yeah, that's epic. Yeah. That's what happened. That's a true story that happened. It did happen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Wait, what were we doing? I didn't do mine. Mine's a real ripper. You guys are going to love this. You know Joey Boza?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
He plays for the Buffalo Bills.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Wait, what is it? Bills Mafia?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Their dad also a first-round pick in the NFL draft. I thought that was fun. I just learned that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Isn't that crazy? Wow. And their dad, Boston College Eagle.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Her mom and her dad produces Call Her Daddy. Wow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Like epic music. We were talking about Noah Khan. Love him. Yeah, I told everybody last summer. Oh yeah, that was awesome. We took handicapped seating.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
We waited to make sure no handicapped people were sitting there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Yeah, they were just wide open. If you're down in the airport, you know, like the end seats always have the handicapped thing. You're like, well, there are only so many handicapped people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
What year? The year before.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Yeah, but that would be like early the next year, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
They knew it was coming. Mein Vater und die meisten seiner Brüder sind alle ein paar Tage apart in März geboren. Und wir waren so, okay, was machen meine Oma und Oma? Und es war neun Monate vor, glaube ich, ist es nur Weihnachten, glaube ich. Neun Monate vor März?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Du denkst, Weihnachten ist neun Monate vor März?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Sie waren so, ich liebe dieses Land! Das ist für dich! Das ist Patriotismus.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Yeah, that's great. So they just get rid of it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Really? Let's go. Should we give him a call and have him come over right now?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Actually, Long Beach is very far away.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
It says food. Mary, you gotta get back. That's soon.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Mary's gonna have like stadium seating couches in her apartment.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
No, that's a big... Not after the stock market crash. Crash.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Wie alt ist dein Bruder? Er ist 21. Sein Bruder ist heiß.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Put a picture of Lauren's hot brother right here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Yeah, that would have been better than he's attractive. Ich glaube nicht, dass es etwas anderes gibt. Hast du dich zu deinem Bruder gefreut? Nein. Ich glaube, mein Bruder ist so heiß. Oh mein Gott, warte. Sam X. Wir machen ein Bild von Will's Hotbruder hier. Sam ist eigentlich einer der besten looking Guys, den wir je gesehen haben.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
What is the urge? There's like a, there's an urge when you're like 18 to 25, where you're like, this couch isn't high enough. Like we need to like get it. Yeah, or it's like, there's an urge when you're in college, it's like, what if my living space looks like fucking dog shit? Like, it's not that hard to not look like dog shit all the time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ich wünschte, dass ich eine Schwester hätte. Sam sieht aus wie Will, wenn du ihn 6'4 und Marathons runnt hast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Maybe morph them together. Do one of the AI things that makes them kiss. And then in the comments vote on which Sean is hot. Do you ever see those? I got some ads. Make your crush kiss me. I did it with you and I. I did it with Lauren and Mary's brothers. And it was awesome. And I'm just learning about this, but I'm going to have a lot of fun when I go home later.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Schön. Why did they think that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Do you ever itch in between your toes and it's like the best feeling ever? No. Sometimes I'll like get under the covers and like do it secretly and it's like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh mein Gott, das kann niemand wissen. Es ist wie wenn Harry unter dem Blanket ist. Und er sagt, Lumos. Und er leset die Karte. Aber ich schiebe meine Beine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Du weißt, dass Kalorien nicht zählen, wenn du unter dem Ding bist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Er schläft auf dem Boden. Das ist das lustigste Ding.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Er schläft auf dem Boden. Wir nehmen ein Bild davon. Will schlief auf seinem Lasagne. Er wurde wirklich erschossen. Because there was like chunks of meat. Not for the record, only when I'm like drunk. I just get chips in my bed. Yeah, it's just like I... We were both like, yeah. What else?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Last night, I forgot to respond to this, but whoever the Playmate is that DM'd me, they go, I was asking if anyone knows how to curb the munchies. And one guy said popsicles. And he was right, because they take so long to eat. Ja. Aber dann, die ganze Zeit, als ich es gegessen habe, war ich so, ich kann nicht warten, bis ich es fertig habe, damit ich einen neuen Snack fangen kann.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Und es ist so, es ist wie, jetzt habe ich ein Popsicle, und dann komme ich in die M&M's. Versuch es mit Nuts. Aber Nuts haben so viele Kalorien. Ja, aber sie sind hart zu essen, wenn du eine bohrere hast. Ich weiß, aber mein Ding ist, wenn ich es nicht mag, dann fange ich einfach an, einen neuen Snack zu fangen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Mary, you are the guest, so you get to pick. Would you like to start with old wives tales that don't exist or Disney shows that don't exist?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Old wives tales? Really? Yeah, and it was like the worst draft we'd ever done. But I think I did a better one this time. Really? Was it better? You don't remember? No. It was like, if you... If you smoke weed, you're gay. Yeah, it was that one. Your ass...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ich habe noch nie gesehen, dass man einen Kühlschrank auf dem Boden hat und dann eine Plattform aus Holz baut.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Yeah. And then was Dwight doing when there should be a roll call? I'm going to the farm.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
That sounds awful. I like that. My parents used to tell me if you ate too many of the gummy vitamins, you'd throw up because they were just tasty and they didn't want me to get into them for a snack. Oh, no, no, this is a real thing. And then I tested it one time and they were right. Interesting. Sorry that happened. Thank you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I've just been, it's so refreshing to have someone, it feels like finally someone's listening to me. Sometimes I tell Lauren and Will my problems and they... Can you cut his mic? They just don't listen. What'd you say? Sorry, what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Alright, you're up, aren't you?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh, wait, right? No, you're up. I did one, Mary did one, did you do one? I've done one. What'd you do? Oh, did you know that when you're pregnant, if you crave paprika, that means your kid's gonna be bi? Jesus Christ. He'll make it nasty. I think one step of hell is just when you're making a left turn into a two-lane thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Wir haben, als ich in der Schule war, diesen Kühlschrank auf dem Facebook-Marktplatz getrackt. Und es war schockierend günstig. Es war wie... Alle schließen ihre Augen. Schau dir den größten Kühlschrank an, den du sehen kannst.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Mine are pretty bad. Oh, if you're kissing someone and you both open your eyes, your faces will fuse together. Yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ich musste eine Woche vorher zum Arzt gehen und diesem jungen Mädchen meine Ballen zeigen. Es fühlte sich falsch an. Ich hatte immer die Vorstellung, dass es eine Hippie-Verleihung war.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Es kann nicht ein Mädchen auf einen Mann sein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Verwende das. Verwende das bei drei Fuß. Es war fast das größte, was ich jemals gesehen habe. Wow. Und so gehen wir, um es zu holen. Und die Frau war so, hey, ich glaube, jemand war mit Fraternität-Karten. Und sie war so, ihr habt wahrscheinlich mehr Kouchen brauchen. Und wir waren so, ja. Und sie war so, ich habe noch einen fast so großen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Es heißt Groping. Es heißt Second Base.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Before I say this, Mary, your dad's not an OBGYN, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I think that if you're a man and you study for years to become an OBGYN, I think that's odd.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ich glaube, das ist eine Frauen-Profession und ich versuche nicht zu glauben, dass es keinen seltsamen Motiv gibt. Ich würde nie zu einem männlichen OBGYN gehen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Du möchtest es nicht. Es scheint wie eine seltsame Liste von Arbeit für einen Mann. Yeah, it's like if a woman wanted to be a urologist, it's like if a woman wanted to play pro basketball. Yeah, it's like if a woman wanted to do any job. It was cheap. It was cheap.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Mary, do you know what both of them at the same time are called?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Speedball. Come on. That's what killed John Belushi. That's what killed River Phoenix too.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
It is not ladylike. That's the only reason you wouldn't do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
When did you get a sweater?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Nicht wahr? Sie ist aus verrückter Kontrolle.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Erdropp den Live-Camp. Oh, ja, ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Und dann ein fliegender, lachsamer Junge, wenn du das willst. Und wir waren so. Das ist ein Steal für etwa 50 Dollar. Und sie hat sehr schnell alles in den Truck bekommen. Und dann haben wir abgeholt. Und als wir nach Hause kamen, war es das schwerste Ding der Welt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Hast du das zuerst gelernt?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Nein, das ist passiert wie diese Woche. Sie ist wie eine völlig normale looking Frau. Sie war schlafen mit einem 15-Jährigen. Sie haben sie in ihr Auto genommen, als sie mit ihrem Mann war. Sie haben sie überholt und sie haben nicht gesagt, was es ist. Sie hat einen Schmerz. Aber im Grunde haben sie ihr Handy gefunden. Und sie war dokumentieren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Sie war alles schreiben, was in ihrer Beziehung passiert ist. Und sie war wie. basically like manifesting like a manifestations tab that was like he will break up with his girlfriend and like we will beat it like it's fucking look at her she looks completely normal wait there's so many it's the bottom right one there's another yeah there's like five it's the bottom right one this one yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Smoke show. She had a good life. Imagine the cops find my notes after they start going through. They're like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Our Notes app, if someone found it out of context, our Notes app would be like the writings of a fucking madman. Mary, do you have any more? No, that's all.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
You got it. I have a sunburn. Okay. These are Disney shows that don't exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
These are Disney shows that don't exist. Griechische Joghurt. Diese griechische Familie baut einen frischen Joghurtshop. Aber hier ist der Witz. Sie sind alle ältere griechische Götter. Und so müssen sie die Kinder beibringen, ihre Fähigkeiten in der Schule nicht zu verwenden. Und du kannst sie einfach sehen, wie sie das Leben navigieren, während sie die Macht des Universums bewältigen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Aber wir haben gemerkt, dass nach einem Tag der Grund, warum sie es entfernt hat, ist, dass sie alle oder zwei von den drei wie gereicht haben. So we had to put them out on the patio and they were too heavy and the garbage man wouldn't take them. So we just had these things. If you got really desperate for a seat, you could sit on the couch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ich mag das. Epic. Acting a Mule. These two teens have gotten jobs, summer jobs, and then they find out they're smuggling fent across the US-Mexico border. They're drug mules. And it's just about the little hijinks they get in, like falling in love and dealing with border crossings and the sometimes pain of the smuggling game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
All while gearing up for another year of high school when they get back. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I got I got late for class. Three Brothers lives change forever when their youngest brother Max invents a time machine. No more tardies. Never late for a test. Everything. They get to redo dates if a date goes awry. Yes. And they have to be responsible with their time machine. I like that a lot. Sweet life below ground.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
And I guess Ashley Tisdale is there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Is that London? Dude, you know she's married to Macaulay Culkin?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I thought she was the prettiest. Jackie eats Cody at the end.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I love it. I like that a lot. I like that like... Also, es ist mein Turnier. Ich weiß es nicht. Secret Prince, the Prince of England is fed up, one of the Princes of England is fed up with royal life. And so in an effort to get away from the paparazzi and the fame, he moves to the Midwest where no one knows who he is and no one cares.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
And he's got to hide the fact that he's actually royalty while trying to live a normal Midwest life. I like that a lot. Thank you. I've got Forth and Evan. about a kid named Evan who's a genius. His dad's a football coach, but he develops, he grows up and they realize he's a genius at calling plays. So he's in the stands with a headset into his dad's ear calling the plays.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
It was like, if you sat in it, your clothes, you would have to go home and change.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
And then they get to the championship and the connection breaks out. And he's like, no! And so he goes down on the field and then he gets the headset. And people are like, what is going on? And he calls Spider2YBanana and they win the game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
He is one cool brother. But I was thinking like, let's just call a spade a spade here. Instead of like beating around the bush, we should just have one called, you know, it's like Zack and Cody or like Drake and Josh. And there's always like one cool one, one dork. They should just have one that's called hot and sloppy. Where we just call it what it is. One's hot, one's sloppy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I would click on that. I also had medieval middle school. Middle schoolers fall into their scientist dad's time machine. They're found in the medieval times and they've got to act normal and go to medieval middle school and try not to change the course of history. Medieval middle school sounds tough. Yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh yeah, like when they get in trouble, they get put in that thing that like stretches you out to like 11 feet. It's a guillotine drama.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I don't get it, but I trust that it's smart. Come on. You okay? A guillotine drama? What is that a play on? Like teen drama. Oh, guillotine. Yes, love it. Alright, who's ready for Rusty's song of the day? Guys. He just sings like a full song. Dude, this playlist after two episodes has 210 saves. A lot of playmates jamming out to it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
We're shooting for a thousand saves by the time this one comes out. Today's song is called I Root by Michael Now, I believe. And it's a great...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Aber wir machen ein Bild davon hier. Wir sind so müde davon zu sein, dass wir es in den Pool genommen haben und es flog.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
thing about rooting for your partner i believe i i just like the way it sounds but he's basically he's talking about how he roots for you uh you know through these different things and i really like it and it's a chill ass vibe i'm trying not to just add my favorite songs like i wanted to make today's come monday but i feel like i already talked about that song too much
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Aber ich bin sicher, das wird bald auf der Playlist sein. Das wird der vierte Song sein. Wir lieben euch alle und ich hoffe, ihr hört ihn auf Spotify. Es heißt Rusty's Songs of the Day. Es ist ein Bild von mir in einem Fun Hat, das sagt, es hat ein Wein-Poem. Oh, es sagt Rosé all day. Klassisch. Ich liebe das. Don't talk to me till I have my wine. Don't talk to me till I have my rum.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh, very nice. There we go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Are you here all this weekend? All week, baby.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I'm gonna steal I'm gonna steal Archduke Franz Ferdinands personality because I'm trying to ride in a convertible this weekend and I don't care about the consequences.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Hell yeah, I'm stealing the
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Is he still on the Cubs? No, he's not. I just want them to win. I couldn't think of anyone on the Cubs. I'm going to watch the Evil Empire fall.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ich ging zur Schule in Florida, also es gab Pools in jedem Haus.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Yes. Yay. All right. We love you guys. Have a great rest of your Wednesday. Have a great rest of your week. Have a great weekend. We will see you bright and early on Monday. Mary, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you, Mary.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
But it floated for like a minute. And so I was floating around in it. And then what we didn't realize is like when those things sink, they are like a million pounds. Because it's like a water... Wait, the massive heavy couch you put into the pool? And then it sunk to the bottom? No, it floated for like the whole party. And so it was like this cool thing. And then...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Es war so zerstört am Boden des Pooles. Ich erinnere mich nicht genau, wie wir es herausbekommen haben.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Playdate Episode 97. I'll let you do the honors, will you? We have with us... Oh, yes. We have our very good friend, Mary Shallaby with us today. Is it Shallaby or Shallaby?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Wir hatten die besten Partys in der Schule. Oh mein Gott, unser Pool riecht. Du würdest meinen Poolpartys lieben. Der Pool riecht. Alle sind krank. Jesus Christus. Ich erinnere mich an ein Pool-Party in der Schule und diese Jungs wollten ihren fast-famösischen Moment haben, wo sie aus dem... Will hat den fast-famösischen Moment nie gesehen. Hast du den fast-famösischen Moment gesehen?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Will made me go Rango for Halloween last year.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I got whipped up in that whole fad. I was like, alright, I'm a movies guy now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
They made a pool parties too?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
It's a non-zero chance. I think I should save the number. Well, you guys have met. I tried to fist bump him and he just grabbed my whole hand. He dwarfed his hand. It's kind of an alpha move.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Syracuse, so you know Kyle McCord. Do you know the Mitchell Brothers? Yeah, I know the Mitchell Brothers. That was supposed to be like by Syracuse. I was joking with Ryan about how like when someone goes to a school, you're like, do you know my friends? And they're always like, no, it's a joke.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
We are very excited. This has been two years in the making, which I just learned today. Apparently Kenward invited Mary on two years ago and she couldn't make it. Aber wir haben uns getroffen. Du bist zwei Jahre hergekommen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Get fucked. How am I supposed to know that? How would she know who my hometown friends are?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Woodsy had the coolest house when we were kids. We'd go hang out in his barn and he had like all these toys and there was like a slide in the house.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
He got caught on one of those men on the street. Oh, really? You know those things where they're like... That's all I want. I've been waiting five years. You don't want it the way Woodsy got it. This was a guy that goes out in Portland, Maine and clearly is just trying to catch drunk kids looking like idiots. And there's Batman. We'll put the video right here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
There's Batman walking down the street and the guy's filming that Und dann geht Woodsy vorbei und Woodsy ist genug trank, dass er interessanter war als der Typ, der sich in einem Cape gekleidet hat, auf der Straße. Und dann fängt er an und das Einzige, was Woodsy denken konnte, war Shout out Portland, Maine, das ist die Stadt, in der sie sich gerade befinden. Ich mag das, das ist ein Preis.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Mein Freund Jackson, der auch mit Woodsy freundlich ist,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
We'll put the picture here again. This is a picture Jackson took. I pulled up next to him. He saw my car, pulled up next to it to see. He thought it was me in the car. And he pulled up and it's just a hitchhiker waiting in my car while I'm inside getting him cigarettes. That's awesome. That's an all time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Yeah, you want one? Yes, I could. Come on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
We have an unlimited supply.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
You can help yourself. Oh, guys, so.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I did go. She was on the bowling team at Dayton. I was not on the bowling team at Dayton, but I did go a decent amount of times with my friends. There was not much to do in Dayton, Ohio.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
And I went with my ex like a few times.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I did go to a couple of Dragons games. Those were fun. No, I don't know. I think... Scott was really good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Warte, ich habe ein 100 im ersten Spiel.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
What? There were like as many balls. What are you talking about?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Yeah, I didn't even have a piece. It was good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Isn't anything in the threes good?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I bet someone, can you give us like a Freudian analysis? That he keeps taking your underwear?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Well, why would that be Freud?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Ich glaube, er ist nervös. Ich glaube, er ist nervös über die Trajectorie deiner Beziehung. Etwas Böses kommt. Oh mein Gott, das ist furchtbar.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Etwas Großes kommt. Wie ein Sniper? I don't know exactly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Would you guys ever go to a... Mall? Sure, that. No, a... Yeah, I could go. Wait, not a medium.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
What's the one where they just read your palms and shit? A small? A small? I almost went to a psychic. But then I didn't. Have you guys been to a psychic?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Wait, does he live here? He doesn't live here. He's here visiting his parents.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Why did he need to eat a munch in a day?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
This isn't your friend, Peter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
This is Peter from Family Guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I knew exactly where that was going.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
You still got Family Guide. Peter, Lois, Brian.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Das ist das gleiche wie Fostering.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Yeah, but isn't that what you guys would be doing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Ich habe Krabben gesehen. Ich habe Krabben gesehen. Ich habe Krabben gesehen. Ich habe Krabben gesehen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Aren't you worried that there's something important in there?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
And then I'm just gonna take out the story.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I know. None of the sports guys are here. No one's playing full court basketball. Stickball.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I can't have any bad... I get mine down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
What if he tries to break into your apartment now that he knows what your room looks like?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
It's the old World Surf League office.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
This is not, he's not real. Google it. What are you talking about?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I don't know how to spell this. It's literally right there. He's the president.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Get pinged. My mom's trying to call me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Hello? Hi. Hi, Mom, we're recording the podcast right now. Ist meine Stimme auf dem Pod? Ja, du bist berühmt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Alright, love you, bye. Tag's up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
You know what I watched on Saturday night? Have you guys seen The Substance?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Google it. I've heard it, Demi Moore.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I really don't think it's pronounced like that, Rusty. Basically she takes this... Demi Moore. Demi Moore.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Interesting, okay. She, yeah, she takes this, injects herself with this thing called the substance, and Margaret Qualley, like, crawls out of her, like, she comes out of her body. I'd pay to watch that. I'm in, golden buzzer. Boing! No, she's so...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Like, for that, Margaret Qualey. She's on everything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Her back. They cut, like, a huge incision on her back. It's gnarly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
It's really gnarly. But she's beautiful in it, both of them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Because the, like, label that she's under, her, uh, like, the CEO or whatever, who is Dennis Quaid, I think, he's, like... You guys are weirdo.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Jetzt, wenn ich Mitt höre, klingt das nicht richtig. Und ich fühle mich, dass es Mitt Romney sein sollte.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
No, that's kind of it. If you want to watch it, just trigger warning because it was disgusting. But that's all I'll say. Alright, should we get into pitches?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Alright. Wait. You don't have to be really specific, but what area of L.A. ?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Who doesn't? Most people. Y'all ready? First pitch. Oh, oh, oh. Before I forget. Somebody wanted me to show you this, Will.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I think he died. He died like five years ago.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Alright, this is what someone wanted me to show you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
That guy? Yeah, he thinks that looks like you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I don't really see it. Maybe like the... He's handsome, I'll take it. Yeah, that's all. I just want to hear your opinion.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
And what am I, like the baby or something?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Alright. Pitches. First pitch is from Sarah Parsons. She says, Hey Lauren and her little fellas, I have got a pitch for you. Hi Sarah. What is the worst part about winter?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Hm, das ist gut, aber sie hat gesagt, dass man sich in den Türen mit den großen Winter-Türen umziehen muss. Es ist nichts Schlimmeres, als zu schlafen, in der Klasse in negative 25 und dann deinen Arsch auszuschlafen und 10 Kilo Wintergear zu tragen, wenn du drinnen bist. Das ist, weshalb ich den Jacket Buddy vorstelle.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Der Jacket Buddy ist ein kleiner Rack-Robot, der dir umgebracht wird, um dich umzuholen und deine Winter-Türen zu halten, als du in den Türen navigierst. Es ist großartig für Universitäten, Malls und Clubs. Es hat sogar Heizung, sodass deine Türen schön warm werden, bevor du draußen gehen musst. No more insane sweating or arm strain. With the Jacket Buddy you can have a liberated winter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Lots of pod. So excited for the new Monday Epps.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Alright, Sarah, that was wonderful.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I'm still in frame and everything?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I know, I didn't, yeah. I think I'm like projecting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Kevin Rogers. Hey, Lauren and Co. Love the pod. Here's my pitch. What's the worst part of being out and about in public?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Ja. Ja. Es war nicht er, aber es hat mich dazu geführt, Starcam 360 zu inventieren. Starcam 360 ist ein Paar Gläser, die man tragen kann, die mit Fascial Recognition Technologie verwendet werden, um zu wissen, ob du die Chance hast, einen Zeleb in der Wilde zu sehen, um dich auf andere Dinge zu konzentrieren, wie nicht dein Auto auf einem Bridge zu fahren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I think that this would absolutely ruin celebrities lives.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Yeah, like if who he saw, if who he remembers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Probably just that it's going to get overplayed a bunch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
No, I just don't want to be addicted to it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Yeah, what is that? I keep getting people being like, wants to blah blah blah, wants to follow you on Lemonade. What is that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Should we get on that? I only want it to be banned because I don't want to be addicted to it anymore.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Okay, alright. Not being able to do basic math. In the moment, what is terrible about being bad at Uno?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
So, this is the Uno filing cabinet. It's like a little box and you put your cards in it and it automatically cuts all the colors.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Yeah, it organizes them. And if you're doing really bad and then it gets to your turn every time and you're just like taking up everyone's time and it's just not great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Ja, ja. Ich habe gesagt, die 90er.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Oh, you meant my pitch. No, your pitch is goaded.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I mean, it doesn't happen to me though because I'm good. Got it. Probably for guys like you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Er hat gestattet, dass er hart gearbeitet hat, um mit dem Schauspieler zu treffen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Oh, he was on How I Met Your Mother once?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I don't have enough experience in yoga, but I don't think it should be steamy in there. Oh, it was steamy in there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Yeah, like he's gotta cancel some of those memberships, subscriptions.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Yeah. I've been trying to budget better.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Wait, that literally sounded like a bird flapping its wings.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I pulled a bird out. What was that noise?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Am I the asshole if I don't go to my sister's courthouse wedding? Ja. Yeah, I mean, your sister isn't saying it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Yeah, yeah. I feel like she would be kind of the asshole to not go. Yeah, I think you have to... Like, at least pretend like you care or support her. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Am I the asshole for implying that my mom was fat? Yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I started it. I, 19, female, went on a hike with my mom, 53, female. While hiking, a girl who looked around 13 years old was running down the hill. My mom has always been pretty unapologetic and uncaring to what others think of her to the point that she is borderline rude. As the girl passed us, my mom gave her a side-eye and started giggling. Ich habe sie gefragt, warum.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Sie lachtete und sagte, schau dir die Größe an, die sie auf diesem Hillen platzt. Meine Mutter hatte die Weihnachtszeit-Kommentare gemacht und bei diesem Zeitpunkt war ich müde davon. Also habe ich ohne Widerstand mit, nicht wie du, viel besser. Meine Mutter hat mich dann für den Rest der Reise ignoriert.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Ich fühlte mich ungeheuer über meine Moms Kommentar, weil ich in der Vergangenheit Probleme mit einem Ernährungsproblem hatte. I believe that making comments about a child's weight or anybody's is disgusting. She should know better, especially since she has raised two kids and my brother is the same age as the girl.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I'm wondering if I'm the asshole for saying that, because it is never okay to fat shame anybody. Plus, I feel indebted to her, considering my mom had a difficult pregnancy and has raised me my whole life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
She's projecting, because she probably is fat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I was low-key ripped when I was little.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Ich habe so viel Gewicht durch Covid verdient.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Wir haben einige lustige. Oh ja. Warte, hast du gesagt, was sie früher waren? Oh ja, du hast es gesagt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Es war alles. Er sagte, mach, was dir zufrieden ist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
It took me minutes to realize what song you were doing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Was? Du sprichst über deine Parody Hour. Was ist mit Rusty's Would You Rather?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I'm scared. No, don't pour it on you. Pass. Damn it, I still got it all in my pants. Well, how about, was it my question actually really hard? What did I ask you guys the other day?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Vielleicht könnte jemand lachen und lachen während meiner nächsten.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Willst du nur noch Soba trinken, wenn Februar kommt?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Me and Mia were like extremely hung up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Nächstes Mal müssen wir in einen Trampolinpark oder Holy Moly gehen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Hey, everyone is a beginner at some point. I think I'm going to start doing it regularly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Ich habe das Foto gesehen, wo du es verabschiedet hast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Why would he have you keep it on?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Oh, ähm, wahrscheinlich... The Dirty, what is it, like Dirty Dance?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Brett... Oh, the bassist. Brobe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I'm stealing my friend Cameron's personality. Weil sie jeden Wochenende, sie lebt in Chicago und sie textet mich und sie hat immer etwas komisches zu sagen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Oh, wait. We have one more week until our Monday episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Also kommentiere das verrückte Ding, das du je gemacht hast. Jesus.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
I'm gonna fuck you up, white boy. It's also crazy to think that there's people listening to this that are probably gonna go to jail one day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
It's good. I'll do a little party for it. Nice. Wait, I'm super down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I used pull my finger to save my relationship
Es war... Ich sehe, dass sie nicht mehr Donationen wollen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Then we're going to do everyone's favorite segment. Teach me something. Followed by this guy rocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
This guy rocks today. Hey, hey, I said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard. He rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard. There's rocks in my yard? Thank you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Interesting. All right. You want to hear my pitch? Yeah, wait, wait. I have something to tell you, actually. Carolina texted me this morning. Yeah. And goes...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Oh, that's nice. You got a birthday coming up? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
They all have these hangover products they take.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Isn't that hysterical? Wait, what? What? Wait, why'd they mix him? What do you mean?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
yeah exactly exactly that's really funny um all right should we do this guy rocks yeah let's do it this guy this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard there's rocks in my yard
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I mean, I don't think I really have to. It's just something about doing these shows makes it feel like... I don't know. I'm like, I don't know. I guess maybe obviously more people are going to see this than the show, but something about this feels more because I'm not looking at anyone right now. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Well, that's why when I... I mean, obviously, you know, I have that problem a lot with chicks. Yeah. Intense facial hair. So I always just... As long as you stick your lips and tongue out far enough, they don't touch any part of where your beard would be. Or is. Sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Anyway, I picked mashed potatoes, carrots, and rolls. I thought those all seemed like the most bland possible.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I think that's the MO. I mean, no one wants like... Oh, you're just buying the rolls. Yeah, then put them in the oven.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
California rolls. Wait, that's a type of sushi. But something that implies it's like something I learned out here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Entirely his... That story about, like, the campfire... Yeah. Like freaked out. Did you hear this? What's that story? So Brianna, I listened to, by the way, I listened to the entire BFF. I still want to. With like, like grinning ear to ear the whole time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I might, I might have been part... Okay, I don't want to say I'm part of this, but a big part of the stories that she's telling, one of the big things that keeps coming up that they talk about in the pod and they clip and stuff is how he was supposed to be at Fenway and come out for Noah Khan or whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
How are you guys? What else is going on? Dude, I'm good. I'm kind of feeling a little sniffly today. Yeah, what's up with that? Just like traveling, going to Texas. I feel like all these weekends always just... How was Texas? I got a case of the college tour flu. That's what I like to call it. Were you guys at Bloody Nose Kids at all?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I was. Also, that makes it sound like I was like doing drugs. I wasn't. I was just...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
well anyway texas was really fun though went to the football game vibes are good i love like big college football stadiums i know every time we every time i go to like a big football game i really regret not really regret but i'm like oh i missed out on this part of college yeah 100 every time i go to one of these bigs i mean the campus of texas is so fucking beautiful yeah was it still hot there
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It was honestly a little hot during the game day and I had bought this Texas thing that was like a sweater. So I was, but it was kind of fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And I think this story originally was like people were saying he got too drunk and was at the venue and got kicked out. I think he just bailed the day before. Right. But Brie on the pod was like, Something about like, oh, he was too drunk. She was like, I don't know. He wasn't responding to my texts, blah, blah, blah. He was probably too fucked up and then canceled on Noah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Also, he was presumably sober and you weren't. So I'm assuming, yeah, you probably weren't. I think I'm on his side.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. It was a good time. Yeah, Austin's a really fun place. I would like to... No, probably never live there. I feel like every time you and I are there, we come to the conclusion that we would live there, though. I would, I just don't know if that's realistic at any point. Yeah, I mean, if we have the ability to move, I don't think that's where it would be. That's kind of what I'm thinking.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
There's other places higher up on the list, but I like getting the chance to visit. Would you make your way back to Boston? No, I'm done with Boston.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. I mean, I enjoyed it, but I was there for five years and I have no... New York City. I've seen everything there is to see there a little bit. New York I would do, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
The night before the Fenway show that he very now publicly famously bailed on, that was the night that he commented all that shit on my Instagram. Oh. And blocked us. The night he blocked our podcast. Ha, ha, ha. Was the night that he canceled on Noah Khan to like play at this big show that is now like your video sent him into a tail.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Basically... Moms that feed into it is kind of where you lost me. Oh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
So it's like it's impossible to rule out that me singing a song about puberty that he thought was about him. Send him on a large scale tailspin that ended his relationship and caused this drama.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
You were going to get me. You could have if you had played into it. But there's no way anyone would have known.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, I've never seen the show. I just was guessing because I think they put basketball in there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
What are you guys doing this weekend? I'm going to Rainbow Kids Surprise on Friday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I think we're going to go beforehand and get these frozen bananas at this place in South Beach. Me and Scott and my buddies Pat and Alex are visiting. Fun. I have a friend from college that isn't as close with me, but he knows Pat and Alex. It's this guy Buster. We're going to go down
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Pat and Alex, I think you mentioned New York.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
We've fucked ourselves for eternity now. Pat and Alex are my actual buddies that are visiting this room. Buster Bluth is from Arrested Development. And they have a frozen banana stand.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Got it. We'll put a picture. It's like that Mexican place where they roll them around. Casablanca.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
like I feel like I've only seen him like one yeah well that's kind of the killer guys list is like a guy that like you end up having like kind of a big night with or like spending a Saturday with like you made such a great first impression almost yeah the other guy made such a great first impression that you're like he yeah or like yeah he's like a friend of a friend and then like you end up hanging out more that day than you're I don't know and he just he just rocks like he's usually like just kind of like suave and with it and fun and yeah you guys just like get along yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
So ridiculous. For anyone new to this too, I just posted a song that I had wrote as a joke about, it was like, I'm scared to go in the locker room because I'm scared they'll see my body. Tonight. I'm scared they'll all point and stare and say, that's a weird shaped body. Tonight. And that was it. And it didn't say anything about Zach Bryan, but all the comments were like average Zach Bryan song.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Oh, no. Fuck. Fuck. I wanted that video to load, and now it's not fucking loading. Lauren, just get rid of it. Don't do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. Yeah. That'll happen, man. You can't always hit home runs. Sometimes you've got to swing it a few pitches, you know? Sounds like you still had fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I had a really good wrap on Saturday night. Nice. What was in it? What was in it? It was like a Greek chicken sort of kebab wrap. Cool. But it was mind-numbingly good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Some random ass place. It was like kebabalicious or something. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Why did you say it? I don't know the way you said that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. And I guess I came across this For You page. Send him in a spiral. He blocked us. He blocked Playdate. He blocked Friday. But Beers, I just found out today, the entire Sketch team is blocked by Zach Bryan. Nice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I did. I went and got a pint of the tonight dough. It kind of was a bad move because then I just woke up feeling even worse. Yeah, tiny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I did not that night, thankfully. But I finished it yesterday. Are you good with dairy? How's dairy do to your tummy? Malo. Muy malo. Yesterday, bad. Yeah. I got home from the airport yesterday and I ordered, it was buy one get one free Crunchwrap Supremes. So I got two of those and then I finished my Ben and Jerry's and then I went to bed at 6 p.m. last night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Did you wake up and have to poop in the middle of the night? No, but I woke up today and just before the podcast had like a mind numbing, ass numbing detonation.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, so our whole company is now blocked by Zach Bryan because of this video I put out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Search it. The other day I got... The chicken Big Mac is unbelievably foul.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I got... What? I got McDonald's... A chicken is a foul.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. You have like a poop so gnarly that you're just up now. Poops don't wake me up in the middle of the night. I can't relate to that at all. I'm a day pooper. Call me crazy. How many poops do you take a day? One. Two.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
They just fart pee. I haven't done health class in a while. I remember, ooh, here's a funny story I just thought of. Did I ever tell you about my, like, when I learned about sex?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Oh, do tell. They had a class, and I mean, it was like sex and puberty and like all that shit. It was like a class that my, I went to like a private, I went to like a Montessori, private Montessori, like elementary school. And then this class that they offer called Choices and Changes in like fifth grade, I guess. Yep. And I went to it, and it was like you would go and your parents would come.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, it was after school. And, like, it was optional, like, because it wasn't, like, I think public school has some, like, mandatory health training, but, like, this was just, like, we offer this since it's kind of the age where everyone's figuring this shit out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I think the idea is to make it that it's not like a weird thing. It's like something that you can be open about. And I don't know. I mean, that's just part. You don't have to do it, obviously. But so you would go with your parents or whatever. And we would like go around and like read out of this book. And like everyone would like read a chapter or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It would always be like kind of weird, but whatever. But there's one. I feel like maybe I have told this story, but my brother growing up used to always walk around with his hand like down his pants. Of course. Just like in like a guy way, just kind of like feeling your nuts a little. I don't know. Now that sounds weird. I still do that now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, so he would do it as like a comfort thing in high school. He probably did it a little bit more than most guys, but... whatever uh my we were on the section of the choices and changes book uh it was also led by our principal which is always a little weird but uh section of the book where we're learning about masturbation of course Pardon my French here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But so we're reading about that and talking about how guys do that sometimes. And then like they would do a chapter and then it would be like, all right, split off with your parents. And now you can have like a little discussion with your parents, blah, blah, blah. And so we go over and it's just me and my mom and I go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Mom, is that the thing Sammy is always doing? And she's like, what? I was like, yeah, the thing Sammy's always doing around the house. She's like, you've seen Sammy doing that all around the house? And I was like, yeah, you know, where he just kind of puts his hand in his pants. And she was like, oh, no, no, no, no, that is not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Tell your side of the story? Nah. At one point... No, we're out. At one point, we were the only podcast we followed. I mean, we wouldn't support it. Yeah, we were... For, I think, like a month. Only podcast we followed. We were the only podcast... Only podcast... Only podcast Zach Brown followed. He doesn't sound like a very fun hang. I'll tell you that much.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But for a second, she thought I was telling her that I had seen my brother...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
oh yeah wanking it all around the house uh 10 or something and he was at that point 17 so it was like a very like plausible uh but anyway i just remember being really funny like her being like absolutely mortified at first that i've sammy's always doing in front of or maybe i even said like in front of me or something that was like so bizarre and over the line oh she thinks she's like raised a monster
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Especially not... Oh, yeah, we didn't even tell. So... Lauren, you're asking. So the story tells at the end. It's like an hour and a half into this pod. Which, by the record, I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. It was like her birthday party at her cabin in New Hampshire that he had bought for her. And her whole family and friends were there. Sorry to interrupt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's never as fun as it sounds on paper. That's all I'll say. Everyone thinks it's a good idea. Everyone thinks it's hot and sexy. It's a mess. It's a crap. It's a piece of crap. It ruins the whole. It just ruins the whole fucking thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Them on like a glove. It's like Corey Clement. I'm just bird watching this weekend. Oh God.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It was Cliff Mixtape. Oh, by the way. Yeah. I feel like we haven't highlighted how cool this is enough. We now share a studio with... Johnny Manziel. Ever heard of him? Johnny Football, they call him?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, kind of ridiculous. I mean, we have yet to overlap with him in here, but I would like one day to be on our way out of a play date and he's walking in and we just kind of give him like a dap up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Listen, I know none of you guys watch porn, but in case you have any friends that do, help me pass along this important PSA. Incognito mode does not make you incognito. Check to find print. All your late night activities are still 100% visible to a ton of third parties unless you use ExpressVPN.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
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and uh thank god i don't have to worry about that now thanks to expressvpn and right now you can take advantage of expressvpn's black friday cyber monday offer to get the absolute best vpn deal you'll find all year use my special link expressvpn.com slash playdate get four extra months with the 12 month plan or six extra months with the 24 month plan totally free that's expressvpn.com slash playdate to get an extra four or even six months of expressvpn for free let's get back into the episode
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
yeah he's one they offered her 12 million dollars to never i did see that that's crazy so sorry i continue no anyway she just basically said that i like how so far this podcast is just us breaking down another podcast but no she said that like it was like her birthday and she was doing a thing at this cabin in new hampshire that he just bought her and then he kept he kept being like all right like i'll he had like four days off in between shows and he was like fine i'll come i'll come to your fucking birthday and she kept being like you don't have to come if like i don't want this to be like a big deal like i don't want you to be mad at me for coming like it's fine and you're on tour
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I swear to God, she's going to type age. I can already tell. She's about to do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Well, I picked a guy. He had five different numbers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
bang oh wait have i told my brad marchand story no it's a zach bryan brad marchand hybrid story let's go this is one of the funniest things of all time actually i was outside a zach bryan concert and uh i just like went around it was like early on and i i was i was kind of a weirdo maybe in retrospect where i would like wait outside to try to meet him after the shows ever successful
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
yeah multiple times yeah didn't you guys like he like knew who you were i think so i might have been like a freak fan because i used to like dm him all the time yeah i was drunk uh this was like before it occurred to me that like when you dm people i think they a lot of times do see it i see almost every i know dm anyway uh do you put it get put in all those sex group chats that like yes
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Is Chester in it with you, too? I wonder what... He probably responds to them. Yeah, you go into one of the group chats, and Chester's like, oh, yeah, I'd like that. Yes, please. Me horny to camera, yes. Sorry. No, I was at a Zach Bryant show. This place, Roadrunner in Boston.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And I went out around... We were leaving, and I just went out to see... I did end up meeting him that night, or saying hi to him that night. And... But moral of the story was...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
uh the guitarist of his opener charles wesley godwin came out who i also really like that guy in his band and i was like oh my god like you guys questioned i could i get a photo and ask this guitarist of the opening act for a photo and he's like yeah sure and then there's a guy walking around the street i was like excuse me sir do you mind taking a photo and as i'm taking a photo with charles wesley godwin's guitarist i realized the person who had stopped on the street to take the photo was fucking brad marchand
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And so I was like, oh my God. And I was like, wait, can we switch now? And the guy was like, sure. So then the guitarist took a photo of me and Brad Marchand.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Okay, yeah, I completely fucked up that one. How? I think I thought it was hinge prompts. Oh, that's fine. That's fine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. No, but I can come up with them. I can do them right now. You want to do mine? No, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
That was fine, Lauren. What was wrong with that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Will. All right. This is Two Truths and a Lie, our new segment, where I give you two truths and one lie.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And then he's like, no, I'm going to fucking come to your birthday or whatever. So he shows up and they're all at a fire. It's like all her family, friends and Zach. And then I guess he started like kind of saying some weird shit to her friends. And she was like, this is weird. And it wasn't even midnight yet. It wasn't even her birthday. She's like, I'm going to bed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Okay. I was one day away from being a black belt and quit. I've illegally snuck through the border into Brazil and I once walked to Nevada to use the bathroom.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Next segment. Yeah, I was at the Hoover Dam, I believe. I was in Arizona and walked in. The men's room was in Nevada. I just remember that being like one of my favorite like two truths and lies like a kid. Yeah. So I did walk to Nevada to use the bathroom. Nice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
um i've never done karate yeah so you were right about that uh and i did one time i was in paraguay and we were driving to argentina to go to these waterfalls we had to cross through brazil and we did not have brazilian visas so they made us hide under the seats of a minivan wow like curled up oh as we drove through what would the punishment have been bad I have no idea, honestly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
We didn't really get that far. I just remember, like, it was crazy because I was eight. So it was with my parents and my brother and sister. And they were like, the guy turned around and was like, okay, now all Americans get under the seats. And I was like, pardon? And they were like, come on, Willie, get under the seat. And I was like, no questions asked. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I mean, and, like, the customs agents were like, how many people? And they were like, six. And there were, like, 12 of us. And they, like, peeked their heads. And they were like, all right, you're good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I mean, I think I didn't even, like, I think at that point, if, like, your parents are telling you to do it, that's what's legal. You know what I mean? So, like, I think they probably were more shitting their pants. But then the next time I went, I've been to Paraguay twice, and the next time we went, I got my visa because I didn't want to deal with that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Zach, like, just come with me to bed. Let's just go to bed. And then I guess he was like, I'll come in in a sec. And then she woke up like a few hours later and went downstairs. All of her friends are sobbing in the basement. And her aunt, I think, is physically restraining him in the yard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
why were you spending so much time in paraguay uh mining no uh we it's actually kind of a fun story like one of our very close family friends growing up they met because she was in the peace corps in paraguay and he was a paraguayan guy oh no and they fell in love and then what is we would go back with them because they had this non-profit called outreach paraguay
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Oh, well, guay does mean, yeah, but that's definitely not what that means. I like that. Ah, muy guay, muy guay. Yeah, I forgot about that word, actually.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. I mean, like, Charleston had, like, a pretty good soccer team and was, like, second division. And I was always like, man, that'd be really fun if, like, winning the league meant we could actually go to the MLS. I know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But they were saying that they thought they loved the salary cap because they were like, we like that it's competitive, which is part of why you can't have a salary cap and promotion and relegation really.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Because then, like... I mean, I guess it would just change, but, like, if you got relegated, then all of a sudden, all your players would have to leave, or... Oh, oh, I see what you're saying. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, dude, I was reading about... Can you Google... GUI... C-A-M-P? Soccer? Oh, yeah, yeah. That one right there. I think that... Right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Team? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This team, Gwingkamp, they're the population of the... I was just reading about this this weekend, weirdly. Their stadium holds 19,000 people. The population of Gwingkamp is 7,000 people. So where did they come from? They, they just like have historically just been really successful.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
They just got relegated like last year, but they were in league one for like 10 years before that. And so I guess the people just flood in from like neighboring towns, other towns and stuff. But isn't that kind of cool?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I know. Yeah. I was like, that's a losing battle. Like you're in the, in the court of public opinion, you're not going to win.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Hey, put it this way. If you're listening to this pod and you had a big weekend, it's worse than whatever. If you haven't been stressing that much, stress. It's bad. You embarrass yourself in front of all your friends and they're all worried about your drinking habits.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I was thinking it'd be funny, you know, we started doing a thing on the Friday beers page that's like everything will be okay on Sundays with like nice music. That was our idea, by the way. Yeah, it was. It'd be funny if one week we just did like you really fucked up last night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I think she posted something on her story. That was like, well, cause everyone was speculating that she took money or something. Right. And then she was like, I would never take money from that clown. And it was a screenshot of a video of that night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
They post like every Sunday just like kind of like calming pictures with text that says everything will be okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I love everything about listening to music in the car. It runs out. You got to park sometimes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Especially on the streets where it's one of those streets where it's a highway almost, but there's a stoplight every once in a while. Like Route 1, I'm picturing. So it'd be like, yeah, you're cruising, blasting, then you pull up with the light and you're like... And then the moment the light turns, I turn it back up and then...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
All right. Well, pitch me, brother. Oh, okay. Plates that stick and cups and everything that sticks. Like, you know how we have this and then sometimes we're moving around and then I get worried I'm going to make a spill or a ruckus. Just in general. I feel like we knock things over too much as a society. We should just have stuff that all sticks or like a cereal bowl that sticks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I don't think it's about a funeral, but it was great. Bree, I guess, made made Zach like a normal boyfriend would go made him go to Bree's grandmother's funeral.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And there's a little button on the bottom that you can press to release it. I watched a guy, I watched a, I love that, by the way. Ramos? What? Oh, God. Also, what is up with olives? I got a bag of them yesterday and I hated them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
A bag. Your Midwest is showing, sister. I got a bag of them at the corner store. I'm from the Midwest. Yeah. Okay. No, I got like a market box or something. I was so hungry on my plane. Of olives? She said it was like, oh, it has like hummus and pita chips. Is this Delta? Yeah. I've never seen this. It was hummus, pita chips, and then I think almonds. So those three things. The bistro box?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
No, it's the competitor. The bistro box is like potato chips and Oreos.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. She was like, do you want the one that's Oreos and potato chips or hummus? And I was like, hummus. Anyway, it was hummus, pita chips, and... There's like five things. Hummus, pizza chips, and almonds, which good with all those. Then the next two, big bag of olives and a big bag of apricots.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Apricots made from real apes. That's from The Office.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
They're like, what if they made a fruit that feels and tastes weird?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
What if they made a fruit that made me not want to eat it anymore? What if they made a fruit that was like, ah, it was like if peach rings were fucking ass.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I want to get some liquor at the liquor store. Yep, yep, yep. Lauren's probably like, I need some more booze.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Lauren's having withdrawals. Lauren's having withdrawals. Yeah, she's, look at her hands are like shaking right now. I know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I didn't even have one. Oh. I just don't like olives. I just couldn't believe that was like a big percentage of my bag, my box.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
grace's grandmother's or sorry grace's grandmother's funeral brie brought zach and i guess he like was pissed about that he she made him go but then he wrote that song that night i mean there's nothing like about it's kind of it's actually a beautiful song
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Oh, I'm sorry. There's like a five-year window right now where I can't tell if you had olives or not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yep. I think that is a thing, though. I think they have pits. But why? It's in a salad. That's a good point.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
An inside job implies that, like, your body was in on it. Also, I feel like I gotta address Elephant Room. I've had something stuck in my teeth this entire episode, so I just wanna say. I haven't seen it. I know, but I feel like if someone's watching this, they're gonna be like, why does he keep, I just,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
i haven't noticed i've noticed either all right cool keep it never mind target acquired target acquired speaking of target our new card game almost friday the pre-game right available at every target in america ever wanted to have the most fun you've ever had in your entire effing life go to target get almost friday the pre-game and know when you're buying it half of that is going to us so we can buy a mansion and exploit our workers one day
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
We are officially partnered with Ricky to bring you the best canned alcoholic beverage I thought that would spin cooler on the market. Ricky was created to finally give the world a premium spirit based drink. Ricky's made with award winning vodka or tequila and a touch of thirst quenching fruit. Each can is only 130 calories, no added sugar and all natural fruit juices.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I know. Well, it's also like, it is fun. Like all the songs that I first, like the first song I ever heard by him was like messed up kid. And it's like, there's like, it's not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's got a 7% ABV, which is a lot more than its competitors. That means each can is one and a half shots. That means a 12 pack is a full bottle drink. Not to mention the price is better too.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Do you see this? I brought them. I got the vodka black cherry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
uh they were all first cousins can you picture that yeah i mean so how does that work they were like intermarrying deliberately to like maintain power yeah like i don't understand like how a russian guy's the cousin of a british guy i think it was like the royal families were like in order to be like a unified front yeah we're all gonna just like marry each other so they're doing peaky
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
If like me, you heard the beginning of that and thought, I gotta make some calls, ExpressVPN is the spot for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
That's a miracle. Not for the people of Russia. I had... Well, originally, my teaching something was actually going to be... I was about to say that. I was, like, in a southern accent. I had... Like, I had... Well, I was in Texas this weekend, y'all. Isn't it funny when you go to the South, you start talking... Well, yeah, I got fit in somehow, mate.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, but we don't say it the way they do. Well, here's the thing. You guys aren't from the South. Is Charleston the South? Are you joking?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
They started the Civil War. Yeah, but like. Is Charleston, what are you fucking talking about?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Wait, what the fuck? Like this is like an assault on my.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, that you guys are racist. All I'm saying is that by any measure of what the South is, Charleston is one of the most... It was the biggest city in the South.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
when the south was the south seem a little defensive about this yeah because i can't believe it's it's it's my it's where i grew up i think most people would agree with us that it's not like what people think of when they think of the south i i think the opposite i think 90 of people think you're crazy for that take charleston in this room 66 think you're crazy well yeah but 66 of this room is freaking bozos so what are you gonna do with that data all right teach me something
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I guess I need to teach you about the fucking history of the South first. Port Sumter, ever heard of it? I mean, I'm not proud necessarily of the parts of it. It seems like you really are on the Confederate side here. You're like, we started it. I'm just saying that by any historical, it's the South. Google is Charleston the South. That's just, okay. It's literally considered the South. Okay. Yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yes. That's where the Civil War began. Yes. Culturally, yes. Hard yes. Full stop. That's Reddit, though. That's where you get all your sources. I don't know. Absolutely. This isn't part of the South, and I don't know what the fuck it is. Teach me something. I'm so right. Thank God you pulled that up. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I just can't. I mean, Lauren's still scrolling, so I'm reading it now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, I agree. There are a lot of people that have moved there in the last 10, 20 years, including my family, that are not from the South. Yeah, it's become like a hub, like nine kids from Rollins live there now. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, it's like right by my house. Lovely. Or my old house. First of all, my original fun fact, I think I said earlier, teach me something. Oh, was that actually that I was going to talk to you about that soccer team that had the town smaller than their stadium. Oh, you blew your load. And then I blew my load.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But I have another one, which is that I was also weirdly, I already talked about Paraguay, but... I was reading about Paraguayan soccer. The U.S. got a new soccer coach, and he's this Argentinian guy. Anyway, I went down this rabbit hole on Wikipedia on my flight yesterday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, you're going... You're going nuts. Stinko mode. I'm going snacko mode tonight.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
That's what he's always saying in college. There's an iconic picture of me, like, sitting on the couch, like, curled up with, like, Cheez-Its falling all over me, and it just said, going snack-o-mo.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
This is before people knew the dangers of drugs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, I don't even know. Yeah. I've never taken one of those. I haven't either. And I have no idea, like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Ugh. All right, continue. Are you going to try your water? I put an Advil in there. QB sneaked you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I also had the mayor, his wife cheating on him with the mayor. he's not married I guess somehow that must be their thing all the comments were like how did they not notice that they were joking I know we didn't watch enough of their stuff beforehand clearly All right, Willie, teach me something, brother.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
All right, I was just reading about Paraguayan soccer, and there's a team called Club Presidente Hayes. And I was like, that's a weird name, and I looked it up, and it was just, there was like this big Argentine-Paraguayan territorial dispute. and it was while Rutherford B. Hayes was president, and he sided with Paraguay, so he became a hero there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
So one of their major soccer clubs is called Presidente Hayes, which I just think is funny. He has no legacy in the U.S., but he carved one out in Paraguay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, it's bizarre. That's some patriotic shit. Wait, that says they signed Julio Dos Santos? That says they signed Julio Dos Santos. When was Rutherford B. Hayes kicking around? I actually do know. You know who that is? Yeah, if that's who I'm thinking of.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Okay. That's definitely... Later than I'm thinking Okay I'm gonna go 1894 It could be early 1900s Yeah I think you're way closer actually 1894?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah He went to Miami I think He went to you Miami? Ohio No he didn't What? What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Click on it. Click on him. No, why would you go to thewhitehouse.gov? Lauren, it's just like sometimes, like, what are we doing? I don't know. I'm sorry. It's fine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Ohio. Okay, this is my This Guy Rocks. Lauren, pause it when you get it. Okay. I think Benjamin Harrison maybe went to... Okay, so I've stumbled upon... I've stumbled... StumbleUpon. Oh, do you remember that website? No. StumbleUpon.com? Oh, yes, that was great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
No, no, we'll do that after. Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Would you ever call him big bro? I say brother a lot. Like, hey, brother. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Okay. Well, I used to have freakouts at that age. Freakouts? About his drinking.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Do you know about this? No. Tell me. He would, my brother would, you know, he was like a, I was 10 or 11 and he was like 17, 18, whatever. And I could not wrap my mind around, I guess this was in between the Paraguay thing where my parents were always right. And I had developed a very strong sense of belief in the law and the rule of law in this country.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And I would sob and sob to my parents about how they were letting him throw his life away because, like, they caught him underage drinking once and, like, weren't that mad. And then when he was, like, a freshman or sophomore at Ohio State, we went to visit him, and he was having, like, a tailgate. And my parents were like, oh, we're going to go check out Sammy's tailgate.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And I was like, is there going to be drinking there? And they're like... Well, yeah, but, you know, it's fine. He's in college. And I had the biggest freakout of all time. And I was like, you guys are fucking horrible parents. Like, I was so mean. I was like, you guys are the worst parents of all time. Like, how dare you let this happen under our house?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
You're going to go to this party and sanction it? I was like 11. And I was so mad. And I cried. And so then my dad just took me to, like, the quad. And they call it the Oval Club. We just tossed around a football while my mom went to the tailgate, and I refused to see my brother the entire weekend that we had flown to Columbus.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Well, because you're told how bad these things are by, like, people you trust. Yeah, and then it's like, all of a sudden, it's like, okay, but, like, there's some gray. They're like, we don't want him to be doing it, but, like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
The hospital? What is it? It's a big building with patients.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. I mean, he'll honestly for his age, it's probably be a lot worse. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Yeah. Benefit of the doubt. Wasn't that bummed you out there? Benefit of the doubt. Yeah, I mean... I mean, if he keeps doing it, by the time he's our age, he'll be probably fucking nasty at it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. Yeah. Maybe you're right. You're right. That crowd should be tougher on him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I feel like I was very, like, putting myself out there at that age. You were? Oh, my God. I was so, like, confident and, like, wanted to be the center of attention, like, as, like, an early high schooler and stuff, especially. I mean, honestly, sometimes I miss, like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
We had no theater at my high school, but I definitely would have done it. I was so confident in high school. I was, like, running around the hallways, causing a ruckus. Yep.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I have to tell you about, I have a few, like, funny stories I can think of, but there was, like, we would do, like, during Spirit Week, one day was, like, Generations Day, so it was, like, the freshmen were babies, the sophomores were toddlers, the...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
juniors i guess were just like different jobs and then the seniors went as old people and the seniors always went like the hardest as like baby powder in our hair and like canes and stuff anyway so i was like this old guy walking around and i used to give miss renis god bless her she was my uh kind of a funny name i guess in retrospect you gotta change that if you're gonna be a high school teacher throwing you to the wall yeah i know she was our calculus teacher and i was i was you know what i was always a ruckus and a nightmare but i think i was always like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
i was first of all good at the school yeah which made it harder for them to be mad at me because i was like getting my shit done and i'd be prepared for tests but then also i was like there was a good nature about it like the teachers would always like pull me when they would call me in after class or like detention or they're always like like it's yeah it is like kind of funny but it's just like you can't i don't know but anyway miss reena sometime i was it was i was just an old guy i went out i was like can i i was like doing full i method like completely in character all day it was like my bit that no one liked except me i was like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
oh may i use the loo miss renis and she was like yes just go uh and i was like all right and so i took like so long to get out of my chair and made it like a whole scene leading the class and then i just went to the water fountain and splashed it all down like i'd pissed myself and i came back two minutes later and knocked on the door and she opened it and i was like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Oh, boy, I've had an accident. And I sent the class. The class fucking loved it. And she was like, all right. She was like, I don't think I've ever done this before. Just please leave and don't come back today. She's like, I don't care where you go. I don't want to see you again. So I just went and took a nap in the lounge. It was awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Can we, I want to like, can we get like a flight simulator? I don't know. Like a real one? Like we should get you in a real one and test this. You know what I mean?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It made it that much funnier. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I remember. Now I'm thinking about, I got, like, 400 detentions. Did I tell you that story?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's like, I didn't know I'd gotten it. And so they compounded and I got called in the principal's office. It's like, they were like, it multiplies exponentially, I guess, if you don't jump. She's like, you have 400. I was like, oh, I can't do that. She's like, how about we just, you do it this week and then you'll be good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But like the thing that I got attention was, was like, I was throwing this. Have I told the story? No. I got a deck of playing cards that had bears on them. Like each card was like a different type.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
yeah of bear yeah wait yeah like you know i think you've told me this story but i forget i was just throwing him in the wall every time the teacher turned his back so every time she turned away from the board it would be like and she would turn around like who threw that and then she just got back from yosemite you're like i don't know yeah i literally had come back from a trip to glacier like over christmas and anyway i got i was had to go to my super detention that was somehow worth 400 because yeah we didn't know what else to do and i just made the lady the lady run intention i was like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
what was the detention for again? I was just like, could you just say it out loud? And like the whole class is like on pins and needles. Cause I, they could tell I was like excited to hear it. And she was like, yeah, it says throwing bear cards. And I did, it was a right ruckus.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
That's funny. All right, show me your This Guy Rocks, Willie. This is my TGR. This just really made me laugh last night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's just, I mean... It's not even worth explaining? Yeah. It's a panini press with a panini in it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
That's it. Yeah, like I fucking ruined it. I thought that was awesome. Just use it. Oh, look, is he doing more? Yeah, yeah, do that. Alexa... Turn off the food steamer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Hey, go to this account. This is what TikTok was made for. I know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I think you just connect your Alexa to like outlet like you like little attachments to the outlet so you can make it I don't know it's just so useless that it was cracking me up yeah that is so funny you need to like clean his kitchen I think that guy needs to do a lot of things to be honest maybe I'd like you better if you took off your clothes alright are we doing uh drafts oh no we have we have am I the asshole
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. Can I be your roadie if you get big? You can be my lover on the road. I'm going to bring you around on tour and buy you a house and a dog. And then yell at Liam that he'll never be shit. It's going to ruin my birthday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
fuck that'd be so funny if we talked all this shit then you got big and turned out you were a psycho i mean i might be if i had that kind of money and influence i don't think you would be thank god i think you'd be a blast i want to be a blast they say money money just magnifies things that you already are okay so if you're like super horny yeah if you yeah honestly probably if you're super horny as a poor guy you are going to become a nightmare when you get rich
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Dude, all this thing about high school just made me... I forgot about high school. All those teachers and stuff.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I remember they had a thing like the first you had like a summer reading book we had them like going into freshman year it was like a thing we had to read and like my high school was supposed to be this like super nerd school and academic magnet high school and but like you did an assignment on the first book before you ever started and you turn in the papers like the first day and then like the second week you would get them back and it was like their thing to give everyone like fucking 40s and like 30s it was like a it was like to raz everyone
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, because everyone was hot shit from their middle school. It was notoriously the hardest.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, I was on the streetcar. I was on the streetcar. There I was on my penny farthing. And my pocket watch was ticking. Okay, go on. And the telephone was just invented. Oh, the telephone was there. Alexander Graham Bell was there. We were all drinking... Mead. Mead. An absinthe. The war was over, but the real war had just begun. Penny stocks were down. My wife was home in a corset.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Al Capone was at the peak of his power. Syphilis ran through the street like a flood. 400 birds flocked on my doorstep every morning. The World's Fair was next week. I had lots of gay thoughts, which I had held from my wife. I was clearly a homosexual. I didn't know what to call it at the time. My trench foot was kicking up again. My trench foot was flaring up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And I was having these dreams that I couldn't... Everyone reeked. I liked men's bodies. But of course, that wasn't kosher in this time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
There's a bear in my living room. We have a termite problem.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I just started a podcast. Everyone keeps asking me, what the hell is that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I can't wait for the Great Depression to be over. And we can return to prosperity.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
What the fuck was that, Lauren? Why did you make us do that? All right. Fine. Just go. Just go. So they're on the streetcar.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
No, I agree. I think, um, yeah, I would move would be my instinct, but I don't necessarily think what you did was wrong. And that guy's definitely a weirdo for not like if someone, if he was just being absent minded and someone said that, I realized I was like, Oh my God, I'm sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Especially as a guy and a girl, if it felt like she was uncomfortable, I think you got to move.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I, uh, I was sorry. Somehow I don't, I can't imagine what possibly just made me think of this, but maybe we were in the car, but we almost drove over a bag of ruffles. Oh yeah. Yeah. My lunch. Yeah. But we're also, we're laughing. I was thinking like, if you like driving over a bag of ruffles where the tires lined up perfectly with the grooves, so it doesn't even crack them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Well, this was a... I had this idea, like, this show I pitched, like, when we first came back. It was, like, things like this. It's, like, putting these, like... The first two episodes, I wanted to be, like... Episode one was, like, could we make the Olympics in curling in five or ten years? Yes. And then we, like, go and test it out. Which I still think we could do.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Well, I think that if we had like put out like a diss, like done all this, everyone would be like, whoa, what the hell? Like, I don't think we quite had the pull that... Dave Portnoy does. That being said, I did get a text from a friend of mine that was like, you guys should get these. They're like selling like shirts now with like the diss track and stuff. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, I think, I mean, the way I felt like my freshman and sophomore year, I was more in like the pulling the weight department. And I remember having like athletes sometimes in my group projects that were just not motivated particularly. And like, I remember freshman year, there was a couple girls on the softball team and they didn't do shit. And I was like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And then episode two would be that. Because there was, like, a tweet that, like, blew up a while ago. It was, like, my boyfriend's convinced he could land a plane. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
that's not a kind of sport where you can yeah you're not you're not on the football team yeah like if a guy with the full team i'm like dude i got this project all right you focus on fucking louisville but the softball team has like suny buffalo yeah i was like you're getting hit sorry yeah but i would i always felt like it was like you know what i'm just gonna do it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And there's no, there's no, like, I don't gain anything from excluding them. Yeah. It just screws them over kind of. I mean, they, yeah, I guess they deserve it, but I feel like I would always just be like, whatever, I'll put your name on it. I don't give a fuck. Um, but then later in my college career, like by senior year, I was in some poli sci classes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I remember that were like, I'd be in these group projects that were like, cause I joined the major late. So I had to take classes with like freshmen and sophomores, even as a senior. And there'd be a group project. And I kind of, I feel like I would kind of almost set the, uh, the expectation kind of just like, yeah, so you guys are going to be like pulling the weight here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
So I definitely was not, but I feel like I would at least be like responsive and involved and maybe it'd be like, all right, let's all add to this by Tuesday night. And then I'd go in there at like Tuesday at eight and it would all be done. And I'd be like, whoops, sorry, I didn't get around to it till now. Or you know what I mean? Like, I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I remember one of my big group projects my senior year was crisis simulation for my Middle East. One of my classes on the Middle East. That was like my special or my specialty in my major was like the Middle East.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I don't even really remember what we ended up doing, but it was kind of like... Halfway through, you got power hungry, and you started blowing up like... Yeah, I don't know what we did, but it was, I guess, obviously that conflict, it's not like... Obviously, it was going to boil to the surface at some point, but it was kind of weirdly accurate to what ended up happening.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
They finally caught us. Wait, is Almost Friday recording after us?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Okay, Liam, just give us a look. I didn't know if that was... These are racehorses that don't exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I have no doubt. If you could do it, I would be surprised. I'm not doubting you as a person. I'm just... You just don't believe me at all. Correct. Okay. I can live with that. Speaking of hard tasks, you know what? I just tried out today. Did I mention this already? Maybe I got to make Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah. Wait, did we talk about this on the pod yet? Last week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Philly cheesesteak. Like that. All right, this one is, we both definitely Googled horse words, by the way. This one I'm very excited about, though. This, to me, this is the perfect horse name. If I ever have a horse, this is it. The Mayor of Hoofville. Well done. M-A-R-E for mayor. Yep. Hoofville. Mayor of Hoofville. Those were racehorses that don't exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
mine i just that's not what i did at all okay so these are i'm doing the best dating i have opening lines and will thought we were doing best hinge prompts so just keep that in mind just be like best dating prompts what but those are like mine's like prompts like you know on hinge like there's like a prompt and then what you put i that's my mistake okay i put what i would like you to buy me for our first date
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's like a price you pay to wed someone in India.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
What does your breath smell like? The gift which will earn my love.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Me when I don't get the present I really want?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
These are New York Times games that don't exist. Okay. Newsy. It gives you a bunch of news headlines for the day, and you have to try to pick which ones are real headlines and which ones are made up. Oh, I like that. So it's kind of fun, and then you also learn a little bit about the news. And then it links the real articles once you're done. That's great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
yeah yeah yeah uh the article it gives you uh different random sentences from an article and you have to figure out what the news story is of that day i like that uh entire bookle you guess the entire script to a whole like a whole book you type it all out and then it tells you how many words you got right oh i keep going you get five guesses I like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Well, I got my brother sent... I don't understand why you don't just like Popeyes does the chicken.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Ooh, fun. Camera roll. Camera roll. It shows a close-up of a person from your camera roll, but with the face blurred out, and you have to guess who it is. I like that a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
uh average age average height average weight average ethnic or like most popular ethnicity or race popular ethnicity we lights are really hot we love the caucasians um and then you have to guess what country it is okay i like that uh planted this one is just kind of a peace and calm one you have a little room full of uh plants and every day you just go in check on your plants you water them
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I don't know. I don't think he says that. Oh, here. I got another quote from him. Yeah, I killed them Jenkins brothers. Did it with one bullet, too. Nice. Sorry. That was all mine. Do you have one? Oh, I have the chuckle, and you just have to guess famous Charlies.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I'm going to go with... Jake Novak. Oh, yeah. What do you think that brother's up to these days? Probably caution it. I think he sings at Disney.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Oh, yeah. Well, maybe he just kind of fell out of... He's not in vogue anymore.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Well, that's why I'm saying Jake Novak because I'm going to New York to do live sketch comedy. Oh, nice. So I want to emulate my favorite sketch comedian of all time, Jake Novak. Can you redo that song while you're in New York? I want to be the next SNL cast member. Here's why I should be a contender. Hi, Lorne Michaels. Hey, Lorne Michaels.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
All right. Well, I was sent a list of options from my brother, Sam, who's taking initiative on this. All right. Hey, ding-dongs. This is to me and my sister. Hey, Ding Dongs, do you want to be responsible for cooking any of the blow for Thanksgiving? I have to delegate some to my Aunt Deanie, but I want to give you guys first dibs. Cheese board, stuffing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I know you're feeling some heat because your roster lost AIM giant Michael and Pete. You don't know who this is?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, you never heard it? I also made Bad Gun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Wait till the chorus. Children dying in the schools.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
it's just like some weird relic of like a part of the internet that doesn't exist anymore this was like our favorite thing like two summers ago well not this one I guess that one out of context it feels like weird the content of that is funny but click on his click on his page and we're right at the end of the episode if we're boring people at this point they can just leave I mean you might have deleted oh no no I want to be the next SNL cast member what this?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Cheese board, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, carrots, green beans, rolls, pumpkin pie, apple pie. You can do all of those.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
That's what we do. You don't know what cranberry chutney is?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And that was just a whole thing. I'm also realizing that like, we're starting these like live shows. Right. So it's like, I'm presenting myself in front of these like live audiences. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
No, like we're like, I'm going to New York this by the way.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
go to new york go to uh you should buy tickets you are quite the salesman let me tell you that was a good by the way go to new york no sunday night 7 30 bell house in brooklyn you can find tickets online how did the first one go i never asked you oh yeah it was last tuesday right or two tuesdays ago yeah it was awesome nice it was i heard you guys got to rework one of my favorite sketches of yours that was hump day hump day is so funny i know the live version i think is really funny dude
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I also didn't want to believe it. Cause like until we, until our beef, I loved him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Something about that feels like, like this is like a, like, I don't know. This is a really exciting opportunity where I'm like getting to do like live performance. And like this thing in New York is like the ones here. Cool too. But like when New York is like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Give me a break. What? I was getting confused.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
No, but I think just doing the play date is important.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I normally would have drank my coffee at home, but I'm all out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Like, you're supposed to give your brain 90 minutes to, like, naturally release what's making you feel groggy and tired in the morning before you... I mean, when I'm doing... If I have anything urgent, I don't do that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Yeah, I thought he was going to say something else, too.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Jane just went to Portland and she loved it. Who did? My sister and her boyfriend. Portland's sick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
The longer I'm here, the longer I'm here, the more I love it. In my first year here, I was really struggling.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
We are going to Florida. We're going to Florida. Wait, that's the comment for today. Oh, you guys comment your three cities.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Yeah. my friend and olivia my my friend in olivia my friend olivia lives in the sickest apartment in lincoln park like probably i don't know what floor maybe like the 15th floor huge windows like floor to ceiling uh she can see the full skyline um it's insane like such a bougie new apartment she pays 1500
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Wait, can I come? Sure. Also... I'll take pictures.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Can you explain what this means for people like me who don't?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
That's hilarious. It's pretty awesome. He has a lot of funny stories. First, the championship ring.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
No, I know that it's crazy, but Andrew Nelson went with his friends and he said that everyone was on top of each other and there wasn't any... Yeah, there is a little log jam.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
What's the worst lunch you can think of?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Mushy grapes with like... Cottage cheese. Barbecue. What are you looking at?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Sons of... Cosmic Uprising. Yeah. What else?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
If you do a bathroom break, you can find it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Wait, I was going to say something. Oh, yeah. Also, you guys, please continue to send in your business pitches to our Instagram Playdate pod. Much appreciated. And yeah, keep them coming.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Alright, pitches. First pitch is from Elizabeth Michelson. She says, Hi Playdate, I have an awesome pitch idea for an app that is a map that tracks where you go in each city and as you venture to new parts of town, the map unlocks. Similar to video games, how when you unlock a new location, it changes from blurred out
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
You guys last night I my sleep has been so shit lately. I woke up in the middle of the night last night. It was probably like three thirty. I think I was awake for like two hours and I three thirty to five thirty.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Dude, I I wasn't I wasn't on my phone or anything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Yeah, I know I couldn't sleep, but it was fine. Take a melatonin. I did take a melatonin last night at three thirty. No, no, no, before I went to sleep.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Yeah, I guess. Anyway, but I don't know. Sometimes I'll have, like I normally will have You're not even listening to my story. I am.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I keep my journal next to my bed. So if I need to write things, I can write things down, obviously. And I remember I had a to-do list of things I wanted to do this week and things I needed to buy. And I remembered that I wanted to get flex rods for my windows. You know how you can just put a bar in between and then get curtains or whatever?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
but i my light was off so i was just like writing on this piece of paper in the dark like trying to guess like where the lines were i just thought it was did you did you look at the results
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Wait, Will, I want to look at your hinge.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
And now this is the rain ASMR segment. I'm in it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I need to read this out for the audio listeners so they know what's going on. Okay. No, I won't talk. No, please.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
All right, so it starts with, this could be us, and it is a photo of Will at the Rams game with a... With Rampage. With Rampage, the mascot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Yeah, courtside. All right, now we have, I'm looking for a washing machine that automatically drops into the dryer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
like you know like no how is that sexist like you're looking for like a washing you're looking for like somebody to like do your clothes because women are supposed to i don't think i think you're really okay that's a stretch what i will say though can i make a comment sure i feel like you got to start with something a little like flirtier someone might be like okay that's kind of like i'm bored i'm looking i mean i'm not gonna like i'm ultimately i should just be myself right and if it's the right person like i don't want to like curate myself no you're right yeah you're right maybe i have problems
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
All right. Are you a dog person? Because... It's me and my dog. That's a good pick. I'm not obsessed with that one. Frog in my bed. Wait, I like this. That picture? Oh, not the photo. I like the most irrational fear.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
It happened one time. I think you should put that higher up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Will, you need to add updated photos. Yeah, that's old. I feel like these are old.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
You should add that picture I took of you at Venice Beach Bar.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Oh, wait. Your wife is on Hinge. I'm sorry. What does that mean?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Dude, I'm... No, replace it with... baseball cards um why do you think i wouldn't be able to find my wife on hinge no i just i feel like for will personally for some reason you think her and i are gonna break up because we met on hinge no my best friend's older sister just got married to a guy she met on hinge so he sounds like the worst i'm
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Podcast. I have to say something. It's just a thing. I don't know why I feel like your wife is in New York City or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Flag and... Flag and Jerry. Flag and Jerry. Flag and Jerry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Yeah, I feel like you have more good photos.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
You're a freak. I wasn't the freak. Will's the freak for making the face.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Peyton Ward says, Good morning, Lauren, Willie, Dean, Rusty. Long-time listener from the first app. First ever pitcher.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
She says, I love you guys. I love you, too. I love you, too. What is the... What's one of the most annoying parts of a sports bar?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
What's the most annoying part about a sports bar?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Yeah. Well, this is a little more vague. She says when the crappy bar napkins or the crappy fake coasters stick to your drink and get all mushy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Continue bathing. And get all mushy and keep falling, sticking to the bottom of your drink. So after much deliberation, I introduced the pocket coaster. This is similar to the style of a windshield sunshades that like contort slash spin into a circle to fit in your car for storage.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
But it is a tiny disc made of polyester so that it fits in your wallet, pocket, purse, and can be stored away but popped up at any moment. Take it a step further and you can get them in different colors and customize it to say whatever you want. It is sure to be a hit when you whip it out for all your drinks at your next bar encounter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Put a picture of a grain of salt right here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
You said that in a very Midwestern way. I don't know if you're doing that as a joke. What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
i like it so one minute you get to experience what it's like links into your brain yeah it's like in neural link that's awesome or a different one that's not by elon here's another addition to that you can find someone in a tv show or a movie and you want to uh replicate that like their vibe and then it'll tell you how high they are yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
If there's someone in a... Thank you. I'm really glad you want me to be happy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
No, no, no. Like if there's someone really funny and goofy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
And you want to be on that level. It made sense in my head. It made sense.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I meant to say, is he the Breaking Bad guy?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
What does Diddy have to do with this song?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Did you both teach me something? Yeah. Oh, okay. This guy rocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I think we had a leak in here the other week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
And like now these people just want to do it because they enjoy bondage.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Okay, but this page has 500k followers. I feel like this is like more common than you think.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
My stomach is grumbling like there's no tomorrow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I'm stealing my mother's personality because when this episode comes out, her birthday is in two days. And I... Holy shit, my stomach is like... Wait, is her birthday Pi Day? Oh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
yeah that's kind of fun 2014 yeah um and i love my mother and i hope i feel like she's gonna have a wonderful birthday so i want to embody that happy birthday nancy happy birthday nancy if you're listening happy birthday nancy definitely did not get it get this far she doesn't make it my dad and i were at dinner the other day and he was like when are you gonna shout out barney butter on the pot and i was like will does it all like will's done it like multiple times and that's how i learned that he doesn't listen
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
We didn't know why we liked her butt and we went home and told my mom.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Oh, yeah. We were like, we really like the way her jeans move.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
And my mom was like, yeah, no, that's, I mean, nothing to look into, completely normal, but like, don't tell her that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Like, they were going to the, like, sex talk. They were going to, like, seminars. They were, like, there at orientation. Like, my parents dropped me off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
How's everyone doing? I feel like we're on a very mellow vibe this morning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
We were in the north part of Sicily a couple summers ago, many summers ago. And we were walking around. It's all very, very Italian people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
And there was a brief moment where they thought they were cousins, which was very fun. Your parents? No, no, my grandparents. And then we're walking around. It's all completely Italian people. It's very clear we're from America.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
And looking at you, Naperville. Looking at you, Chucktown. Nationally, it is currently available online. To get it now, go to drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE to get 10% off your order. That's drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE for 10% off your order.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
So the second I was done, I just went and sat in the car. And they were planning on like kicking it at Mike's. And so I was sitting there for like, you know, for like 20 minutes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
It's like getting like really cold out here. And so I went back inside. I was like, come on, man. I've been waiting out there for like 15 minutes. Let's go. And they were like, where have you been?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
The pizza lady's like, do you want Sklorp on your pizza?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Willie and I got too high around his campfire one time. I think that's the only time I've been too high. Where? On 4th of July.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
this year oh yeah and we were just i remember like thinking we thinking only will and i could hear our conversation and we were just picking nitpicking everything everyone around us was doing and then dylan was across the fire and was like all right what's going on with the peanut gallery over there we had to realize we were in public we're like oh yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
I'm thinking I texted Will a new shirt idea today. Did you?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
If you guys are having sex to play that right now, slap it down into RG.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Was it not creepy before me? Wait, is it creepy now?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
And they would sing... Each brother would add a new verse to the song when they got into this class. And the only part I remember was... If you like penis a lot of touching balls in the rain. It's not bad. If you're not into yoga.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Road map. Road map. We got your pitches. We got Will's pitch. We got the permitting division of the building department, baby. Who has to do it? It's you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
okay it's me i guess then we're gonna do teach me something then we're gonna do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today and then we're gonna do country songs that don't exist followed by ways to tell someone their fly is down lord needs this one today do you flies down what no it's not got you to look girls don't have flies yeah they do
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Oh, no. It's a real bummer. You know how bad it would have to smell for all of us?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
As you all know by now, we've teamed up with BetMGM this season. We'll be using BetMGM lines to make all our picks and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week. If you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE and you will get up to a $1,500 first bet offer on your first wager with BetMGM. Here's how it works. Download the app and sign up using bonus code PLAYDATE.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Did I ever tell you when I sat next to this couple that snuck like a shit ton of shooters onto a plane? Uh-uh. They got onto the plane. They had a grocery bag full of shooters. And they both ordered like lemonades and then they were making vodka and lemonades and they could see me looking at them. And the guy was like, you want in? I was like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
My friend Peter sent me a Snapchat memory today from 2020. It was today, 2021.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
As you may have heard, we love Accelerator. It is seriously the best zero sugar energy drink on the market. It is now available on Amazon so you can get it on your own and be as obsessed with it as we are.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Guys, we love Accelerator. The link's going to be in our bio, but upgrade your energy and hit the link in our bio to go straight to their Amazon storefront. Personally, I had a Rocket Pop today, but I like the orange ones. Peach Paradise, dude. I actually haven't had Peach Paradise yet. But I will say, I think the cherry one's a little slept on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
I put one over ice the other day. Oh, that sounds nice. Game changer. It's also clear. So that makes it feel like, you know what I mean? You know when you're drinking something that has clearly dyes in it, and you're like, this can't be good. Clear. All right. Thank you. We love Accelerator. We'll see you guys later. Let's get back to the episode. Ready?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
You guys ready to watch genius work? Lauren, give me a word.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
yeah oh gorgeous wow oh my god your teach me something this week is there are the same amount of people in plano texas as there are in the capital of slovenia yeah what's yours ljubljana oh ljubljana
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Well, did you ever hear about the woman who was trapped under ice for a year?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Lady trapped under ice for a year. There was this woman in Anchorage that... I don't know if she was, like, a logger or something, but she, like... Yeah, thank you to our loggers, the backbone of our economy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Let's give her a call because she had, she's going to explain it better than I can. Can we call her real quick? Sure. Sure.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
This is a video that I found of Will in the future. It is him in a nursing home, and he's got a Wii controller, and let's just see what he's got.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Mine's called... Mine's called Reverse Cowgirl, and it's about a cowboy who was born a cowboy, but deep inside he's always been a woman, and so he has surgery to become a reverse cowgirl.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
say sorry babe that's when i do teach me something sorry babe no we won't even be at the row mountain when i do teach me something um no i think i think that is a perfectly fine situation but i guess what what i'm trying to say is like i didn't want to do that i thought it was like a thing she was trying to do and then she made me feel like that was weird
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
something funny about how you talk this kid grew up in the south and everyone is like there's something funny about the way you talk because he has like a weird southern accent and then he meets this girl this city slicker girl she says there's something funny about the way you talk and he's like i don't know i have like a silly southern accent she's like no like it you know makes me i didn't i love it i like it it makes me happy or something yeah i've got clock in at the creek
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
the stars are brighter out here cowboy moose to la there's all these movie stars everywhere and he's like stars are brighter back home no light pollution he's talking about how much he misses the sky i love that thank you uh a field on a farm he's talking about some he's talking about bringing this girl back to the country life and he's like somewhere there's a field on a farm
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Hey. Can you explain the feeding me food story? Because I explained it and apparently it didn't sound embarrassing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Can you just tell the story for Lauren and Will and the podcast?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Lil Jon and the Ying Yang Twins are going to get out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
This weekend, I'm going to steal... What the hell? Do you look like a squagmire? Oh, Aquamarine. I love Aquamarine. I'm going to steal the girl from Aquamarine's personality because I am going to be doing a lot of hanging out in water towers. I'm going to start putting salt in my... Now, I'm going to do... Let me think.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Oh, I'm going to steal that girl who's refusing to leave Pakistan's personality because I am going to know my worth and I'm going to get as much money from people as I can.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
So she went to, this girl went to Pakistan to meet a guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
You just murdered that with not even a second thought.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
All right. We love you guys. Have a great rest of your weekend. A great weekend. And we will see you guys on Monday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
Yeah, but you're coming in like a little wet and like getting under the covers and being like, oh, everybody.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer, redefining the party landscape. Playdate, episode 67. Justin Pugh. Justin Pugh, who was just here a minute ago and apparently just walked out. Yep. He was the coolest guy, too. He would have been great. We could have asked him about scoring touchdowns in the big games. You ever score one? I don't know. Probably not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I didn't think I did, but then I got sleep cycle, and I was like, oh, my God. Jane always tells me I do. I probably do. I know I writhe around like a tornado.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I don't know. I don't know. I'm comfortable when I fall asleep and then I just wake up and there's like one of my pillows is like across the room and like my blanket is like a tangled up tied to my feet like a pirate's knot and like my... Do you like knock shit over? Yeah. Oh yeah. I've woken up in the middle of the night because I just smack my lamp over. I did that the other day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I did that a couple weeks ago and it shattered everywhere. Did I tell you that? Yeah, you did. Yeah. I had a bunch of plates on my bedside table. I was like doing a lot of snacking before bed. Yeah. And I knocked over a stack of like ceramic bowls and I literally thought I was in like wartime. Like, I, like, took cover. Dude, they... Oh. No, you got it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
No, they got... Like, right before we started recording, I think they caught the guy who killed the CEO guy. And apparently he's a... Yeah. He's a, like, Ivy League grad. Damn. He's smart. I obviously don't condone violence or murder ever. That's good. I don't really care about that guy dying. Yeah, I mean, I think it's just... I just think it's very fascinating, the whole... Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I mean, I think those people are crooks, so I don't really care.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Obviously, he shouldn't have died, but, like... He has a family. There are worse guys. There are, like, way, way better guys that get killed every day. That's true. I agree. I just think it's like... I've never really seen something like this play out, where it's like a broad daylight assassination. Another healthcare CEO got killed the day after, or died the day after. Isn't that crazy? Really?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah. Also, apparently the guy that got killed is the CEO of a subsidiary of...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
united health group or whatever so it's like they didn't even get like i don't think that's true he he's like the if you look up like their chain of command or whatever there's like a ceo of like united health group and he's like the ceo of like united health care or something so it's like they got they got a guy who's like so much lower in the rankings than like the actual guy interesting that interesting yeah i don't know enough about the their corporate structure did you guys see people on like tiktok or the internet though like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
you know what i mean like people like thought like all these other assassins were like hot because they're like a part of history stalin's hot stalin was kind of why stalin kind of why stalin kind of doing it for me that's my favorite like tiktok comment is like why he kind of um when i was at universal university uh i was i did my whole like harry potter thing obviously is that not like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
is like what's the deal with like disney bounding and like is that like like i think disney says you're not allowed to dress up like them because they're like people are like freaks at universal it's like the wild west okay at disney you can't dress like the characters when i was i was surprised when i think it's a safety thing they don't want little kids like because they think that people are gonna attract no i know but that's why i was i when i saw his outfit then i was like well so could you couldn't do that at disney but at universal like so i couldn't do that at the star wars one
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Wait, why do you have to jump the fence? I don't know. We were on this patio thing, and instead of going through the door and then out to the patio, he just jumped over onto the patio. He's like, what's up, boys? It is funny to just immediately admit fault. All right, all right, you got me. There was no resistance. Yeah, it was sick that we were in Las Vegas, dude. I saw Casey Musgraves.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
No, I don't think so. Damn it. But the... I fit in better after I put on the costume. People don't bat an eye. Got it. But so... I got over my favorite roller coasters and the first coaster that we're riding, my cousins or my uncle is like an executive at Universal. So he has this thing called like the executive gold pass or something, right? So like they'll escort you to the front of the line.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
You don't have to wait in lines. It's awesome. And so they take us up this elevator and our guy who's escorting us looks at me and he goes, do you have your wand on you?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
like not being like do you have a wand on you it was like do you have your wand on you like he has to ask this like a hundred times a day but i was like no and he's like we're gonna wand you when you get up there just so you know we're gonna oh oh like with the whatever different type of want you pull out you're like fine i have mine you pull out one of those and uh and uh yeah they didn't find it i didn't have anything on me but it was didn't have a wand
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
No, I just thought the question, like, do you have your wand on you? It's really funny. Like, like he has to, he catches people like left and right. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Like you're not, you're not allowed to have that on you when you go on these like big roller coasters. Cause it's like, it could impale you. It could like, yeah, I could like fly out. Um, dude, it was crazy. It was crazy. Wait, I gotta look at my, so many things have happened. Oh, here's one. Do I have a lisp? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
But I... I've seen enough comments now that I'm like... That sounded like you just hit comments pretty... Like, I've seen enough comments.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Do I have a lisp? It's literally number one. Do I have a lisp? Hospital bench fart, ether dome. I don't think you have a lisp at all. I just think you... I think I do this as well. We get very excited and then we start talking fast and our words are coming out faster than our tongue can keep up with. Okay, I can live with that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I've been told it a handful of times over the years, and then I saw it on the comments on the last episode, and... Damn. I just... You've been losing sleep over it? No, I'm really good at sleeping. That's never a side effect of anything. But I just... I don't know. I guess I don't care if I do. I just want to know if people have been like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
blind me i've never thought about it until now now i think i'm like hyper fix it or not i think i'm like hyper analyzing your uh voice and you're hearing it i could hear maybe where they would get that on certain words i mean i honestly i think it's ridiculous it's Wait, can I do a hospital bench fart now? Yes, please.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I was at the hospital with my dad and we were waiting for the elevator and there was a homeless lady passed out on the bench. I think they just probably go in the hospital because they probably let him...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
like sleep on the benches or whatever it's like how there are homeless people at the airport it's like you yeah it's kind of past the straight face test of like i need to be here yeah exactly and so this lady's like or maybe she wasn't home maybe even worse is like she's there waiting for someone in her family that's sick right but she's like sleeping on the bench and we're waiting and the bench is like it's like the bench and then like six feet in the elevator doors and we're standing waiting for the elevator kind of with our butts right up against the bench and
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And I guess my dad did not notice. And he ripped a cosmic nuclear ass ripping. I don't understand. Why was his butt near her? Like the bench was.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Unbelievable. And the opener was Lord Huron. Oh, the night we met. That was the first song I think I listened to. That was the first song you gooned to. Yeah. First song I get into. I think that was the first song I always knew when I downloaded Spotify. That was the first song you listened to? It was hot when Spotify came out. Yeah? Okay, so I get on the flight.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
okay no but it's the back of the bench like like we're behind what the bench is like like she's like all right she's like this yeah and my dad is standing facing this way okay okay we're both standing on we're both standing on this side of the bench face the elevators are this way okay does that make sense i don't know why they would configure the bench this way but i'm down
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, it was kind of a weird, it was like in the middle of the room. Anyway, and he just, he just sauces one. He swings for the fences. Wait, can you reenact the sound? Oh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And I go, Dad. Because I can see the lady still like out of the corner of my eye behind him. And I was like, Dad. And he goes, what? And he turns around and the lady just rolls over and goes, Dad. And he's like, I'm so sorry. And she's like, and rolls back over. And then sure enough, the elevator doesn't come for another like minute and a half. So we're just trying not to laugh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Probably. I don't know. That lady would know better than I would. God bless him. It was an honest mistake. If no one was there, he still would have farted out loud in public. She was the only person in the immediate vicinity. The only person who would have heard it was me. I try and keep him silent in public.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Did she say anything or did she just go, Yeah, no, she just went... But she was like, she turned over like, there's no fucking way. It was like... Can you imagine if she turned around and was like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
yeah that's what you would have done you freaking freak anyway that was hospital bench fart i love that um oh i saw interstellar yesterday in imax again again have you seen that before i have but like they just had it out in imax this week it was ava's first time seeing it she loved it timothy chalamet
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Is that his name? Yeah, isn't the kid's name Coop? Cooper is their last name.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
He goes, I wanted to name him Coop. Oh, Coop Cooper. Yeah. I just saw Gone Baby Gone with Casey Affleck. Cool. So good. Kind of fucked up, but it's good. This podcast is brought to you by Triple. Triple is the original high seltzer with three milligrams of THC and just 15 to 20 calories. Triple offers a social buzz similar to that of your favorite hard seltzer. Light on calories, high on life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
It's all natural, gluten-free, and again, just 15 to 20 calories.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Had a few grapefruits, cherry lemons growing on me. I really can't go wrong, though. I love Triple. Triple's born from a desire to blend THC's social buzz with the social ritual of sipping on a seltzer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That's drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE for 10% off your order. Triple, redefining the party landscape. Did I ever tell you when I was blind for an afternoon?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, you were... Wait, when were you talking about this? I don't know. I was blind for an afternoon. Why? When I was a kid, we had a trampoline and they were doing some landscaping in the backyard, so we moved it to the front of the house. So it was partially on the driveway. Good play. Terrible decision. It also didn't have a net on it. And we used this little tykes table to like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I felt completely fine until it set in like, oh, I'm on this plane for the next four hours. Yeah. Had like a mini panic attack. It was the first time I ever was like, I don't know if I can do this. Like, I thought about getting off the plane. Like, before it took off? Before it took off. Like, I was, like, freaking out. And then could not get comfortable. Got up to throw up, like, four times.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
stop your fall a little bit so I'd like jump off and like hit it and like roll off and our neighbor moved it he like thought it was in the way, but he didn't know that I like used it as like a crash pad. And so I like jumped, like expecting it to be there and like look down and it's like not there. And I hit my head on the pavement and, uh, wait, why was the tights table not on the grass part?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
None of it was on the grass part. It was all in pavement. I mean, I think there was like shrubbery and stuff on like one side, like hedges and stuff to like decide to get off on was the pavement side. And I hit my head on the ground and my mom came out and I was like, I can't see. And she thought she was going to have to raise a blind kid and called an ambulance. Called an ambulance?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Called an ambulance. She called an ambulance. And... And we got to the hospital and she was like, just beside herself. She was like, I'm gonna have to raise a blind child. And then by the time the doctor came in, I guess I could see it. Is that something that happens? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Apparently like in like little kids, if you like get a really bad, if you hit your head really hard, like the part of your brain that like connects to your like vision just like shuts down. That is terrifying.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
So she was just like, yeah, you were, I was blind for an afternoon. Do you remember it? I remember, oddly enough, I think maybe it was coming in and out, the vision, because I remember seeing the steel floor of the ambulance, but that's the only memory I have of it. I've never been in an ambulance. It's not fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
When I was playing with Scott Haddon in my basement, I caught a football and I turned and I hit my nose right on the... We had, like, a foosball table.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And it was, like, one of the knobs that you, like, twist. And I hit my... I, like, turned and just nailed it. And it sliced open my nose so that it could, like... Oh! Yeah. Wait, what? Just in the middle, this part. My, like, septum or whatever got, like, cut open so it could, like, flap off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
There is, like, a little scar there. But I had to go to the hospital. And...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
We live three doors down, so we just walked. When I was a kid, I, you know, I'm like a nosebleed. I was a nosebleed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
You know, I like was a nosebleed kid. This is gonna drive me insane. Yeah, you're still a nosebleed kid. Yeah, but not as much. I wasn't until one day I was walking. I was in second grade. I was walking down the hallway to my bus. Someone flung the bathroom door open and, like, pancaked my face. And my nose started, like, profusely bleeding.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And I think what happened is, like, something got, like, separated. And that never, like, opened the floodgates?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I wasn't a nosebleed kid until I got, like, literally, I remember it feeling like it, like, flattened my face. Jesus Christ. And then I went to the nurse's office, missed my bus. And she taught me how to stop a nosebleed. And I still use those tips to this day. There was a kid named Christopher in my middle school. There's always a Christopher. Yeah. Why are there no more Christophers?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That's a good name. They kind of phased him out, I think. I know. It was a COVID thing. It's like a new mod. Yeah. Yeah. No, he got on like April Fool's Day, I guess. He brought in itching powder. Which is a thing, I guess. Damn. That seems like a biohazard. Yeah. Well, it gets worse. He put it on all the fucking toilet paper.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
One of the ladies next to me was asleep, so I just kept stepping over to, like, get out. Like, in the window? I was in the window, but there were no seats in front of us, so there was enough room, but my ass would graze her knees every time. She was not asleep, bro. She was faking it. She wanted some ass on her knees.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
He covered all the toilet paper in the men's room with itching powder, whatever that even is. Anyone who shit was just like, ow, ow. I don't think it was like hurts. I think it was just like, mm. There were guys running around the halls like, ow, yow, yow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
It's a novelty item. That seems like a crime. It feels like that should be a crime, no? Yeah, I mean... Yeah, it's for practical jokes. How much trouble did he get in? I don't know. I remember him getting paraded out of the bathroom like they caught a murder suspect. That's, I feel like, an expellable offense. Or how old were you guys? Fifth grade.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
yeah did his parents buy the bitching powder for him i don't know i don't know you're asking good questions but i don't all i remember is that happening to be like oh my fucking god thank god i didn't go to the bathroom then or else i would have you would have had an itchy butthole i would have had itchy butthole you might not be here today Or I wouldn't have a butthole.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, it would burn it off. Burned it. It would have, like, sought, like, you know, if someone gets a really bad cut, they, like, they, like, solderize it. Yeah. Ugh. Or whatever. Solder. So they solder it. Yeah. You think they sodomize it. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Your butthole gets, like, fused shut. Ew. What if they fused up my butthole? When I was a kid, I was just thinking of bathroom pranks, I guess, but this one's on a way worse scale. We were in class... And someone came in, I don't even think it was my class, came back to their teacher and was like, hey, there's a bomb threat on the mirror. Like someone had left a sticky note or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And they took everyone to the church. They took it very, very seriously. And I don't think they ever caught the guy, but we all like knew who it was. We think we know. Oh, dude, I was thinking about when Will said Christopher, there was a Chris in my school that there was this old man named Herbert that was like obsessed with him and was like definitely like a pedophile. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
But, like, no one stopped him. And, like, they would, like, hang out. Like, Chris and him would, like, hang out. And... He was a guy at your school? He was, like... No, Chris was... Chris went to my school. And then Herbert was, like, our neighbor. And we all called him Herbert the Pervert. And he would... Chris would, like, go... What? I don't know. Chris would, like, go to his house.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
After the third time, the woman in the middle seat, who was a flight attendant for another airline, for United, was like, are you okay? And I said, no. And she goes, put this under your tongue, and pulled out a bag of white stuff. It was like salt, like electrolytes. It was like anthrax. Yeah. It was like Coke. And that did not make me feel better. I threw up four times.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And then we would be outside. And you'd see Chris, like, run out of the house. And Herbert would, like, chase him on his... What? Isn't that insane? And they didn't, like, call the cops?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I swear to God. And I think there's, like, a story about it. But they, like, eventually caught him or something. But he... It was always weird. Like, this guy was a freak. He, like, whistled when he talked. We... I mean... Yeah, I can't tell... Like, he was an actual... We had our... Our neighbor was, like, a guy with a mustache that looked like he would be a pervert. This guy, Flanders. And he...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
No, mine's a real story. Wait, Google Herbert the Pervert Chris.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, that's him. You got family guide again. This guy's cute. That wasn't a very good family guy. Well, she was on to you from the get-go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And there were these giant Hummer limos. We were like, can we take one of those? The guy was like, sure. Brought us over to it. And we just got it. I'll show you the video. We just got in and took the limo instead of a taxi for like a 10-minute drive.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
It was just me, Will, and... The Red Flags guys? The Red Flags, yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
We were listening to Lupe Fiasco. Then you got on aux and played some sad shit. Of course. That was hammered. Did I actually? Yeah, you put on some really sad Mac DeMarco song. And I was like, can I get one more song? I'll cue it. And then I just immediately played Lupe Fiasco. And everyone else was like, yeah. You're like, what the hell? I was like, just trust me, dude. Yeah, that's my bad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Oh, I have one more story before we get into the roadmap. When Will and I were flying into Vegas, the plane just kept getting like 50 feet from the ground and then just going back up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
and they did it like three or four times like literally like less than 100 feet off the ground like we were like getting ready to land it's kind of spooky and then they just pulled back up and they weren't telling us what was happening and so i thought maybe we were in trouble i would yeah i we thankfully were fine but i one time can i tell you a story i remembered sure it feels like a place to do you can do whatever you want really yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
They look like two sizes too big on you. Yeah, they are. I mean, they're just like massive shoes. Yeah. One time I was at my friend Avery and Leah's apartment. I guess it was just, I was there with my friends Avery and Kathleen and we had been out drinking and we had gotten home and ordered Taco Bell.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I almost certainly got two cheesy or dita crunches, a steak quesadilla, and a large Baja Blast. It's ingrained in my brain now. I think there's a part of everyone's brain that can autopilot. No matter how drunk you are, it can autopilot through the Taco Bell menu on Postmates. Absolutely. And we ordered it, and then it kept getting canceled. We were losing our minds.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Everyone on the plane thought I was a fucking freak. It was so cool what I was doing. But people throw up on airplanes. That's normal. They probably just thought you were scared of flying. Yeah. We were also coming from Nashville and I looked so hungover. They knew what was going on. After the third time, the girl next to me goes, too much Nashville? I go, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
like kept tweeting racist stuff no like it kept like the order like the drivers kept canceling or something it was taking fucking forever uh and then we went out on the balcony at some point and i guess i didn't know that their door like locks when you close it so it was like 2 30 in the morning and i this was like years ago but i just remembered it recently i was like this is a funny story but i locked us all out on the balcony and they're on the second floor of their building
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
and uh we had no key no way to get in it was boston winter so it was like started getting like really fucking cold and so i was like all right i'm gonna i'm gonna figure this out and so i scaled down the wall into their alleyway and then i went and tried all of their windows and then buzzed all of their people in their building oh my god and then i was back in the alley like snooping around and the cops came and i went i was like oh perfect like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I was like, oh, thank God you guys are here. And they're like, what? No, you're the suspect. And I was like, what? And they're like, what are you, banging on people's windows, ringing doorbells, climbing on the walls of this building? I was like, oh, okay, I see how it looks. Climbing on the walls of this... Alright, Spider-Man, get in the paddy wagon. Get in the car, get in the car, Spidey.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I was like, no, we're locked out. And it was like a Rapunzel, or I don't know what Rapunzel's like, but it was like the moment they saw the situation, it was like, oh yeah, this is bad. It was like these two poor girls are up on this balcony like, help! It was so cold. And they were like, all right, we'll help you get in. And they ended up like, they called back whoever had called 911.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
It was like, do you live in the building? Can you come down? And the person was like surprisingly chill about it. But then sure enough, as we're in the entryway, the Taco Bell shows up. And so the cop's like, all right, I just got to make sure you guys get inside and let them in. And then he's like, all right, here, I'll get this for you. And he picks up the Taco Bell.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
and then when we get inside like i don't know what possessed guy i think this he needed to do this but the cop starts like he opens the bag and he starts like laying out all the items and stuff for us on the counter and then he knocks over the drink he's like oh i'm so sorry inside the apartment yeah it was so weird because they had to come in to let the girls in to make sure they got in oh anyway but why did you think why did you take this upon yourself to
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
To do what? Oh, the cop. Yeah, yeah. I was like, what is going on? You don't have to, he's like, oh, I'm so sorry. I was like, all right, you guys enjoy your meal. I was like, what? Did that Taco Bell guy also work for cop? Oh, the cop, or the Taco Bell guy was doing it? No, no, no, no, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Oh, I was like, that would be insane if the Postmates guy came in and started, or like, dude, you were going above and beyond right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
They'll put it out for you? They'll plate it for you and pour the drink in a cup. Did I tell you my friend at Ron's would put in the instructions? She wouldn't want to get out of bed, so she would put in the instructions, like, come in, I'm in this bedroom. And the Postmates guy would come in and hand her food in bed. That's terrifying. A girl?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, we had to be like, dude, that is too dangerous. You're like a pretty 19-year-old girl. One of these guys is going to like... Yeah, that's... Jesus Christ.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And I go, awesome. Come upstairs. Yeah. Are they supposed to go to your apartment door? Yeah. All right, should we roadmap it up? Yeah, can I go pee while you do the roadmap? I can't bear to be around for this bullshit. I fucking hate roadmap.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And she goes, yeah, I see it all the time. We see it all the time. Well, we have a lot to talk about because we haven't recorded in a while. Oh, yeah. I was going to talk about... Oh, speaking of our flight today, on the way out, Machine Gun Kelly was on our flight. Oh, yeah. And he was like... He got like that dumb ass shit that they do where they like drive the Porsche up to the thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
All right, guys, we have a beautiful episode of Playdate for you guys today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
followed by this guy's this guy rocks and then we're gonna do spotify rap just came out so we're gonna do or like came out last week so we're gonna do uh like other things that we would want wrapped in our lives oh that's fun and then we're gonna do everyone's saying everyone's favorite sayings that don't exist nice um i feel like we didn't talk about your spotify raps or like i didn't hear anything about yours like who were your mine yeah who were your top
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I, uh... My friend was saying that as well. It's just not true. It's like, it's, it's perfectly accurate. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I went Mac DeMarco, Jimmy Buffett, Elliot Smith, Tompa Beats, and Clara. Tompa Beats? Yeah, that's shocking. It's like a lo-fi. Like study music? Kind of.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
It was my fourth most listened to artist, which is shocking. Who? Tompa Beats. Oh, Tompa Beats. Tompa Beats. All right, Lauren, let's hear some pitches. Wait, I don't know if I ever saw your rap. Did I? I went Mac DeMarco, Jimmy Buffett, Elliot Smith, Tompa Beats, and Claro. Kind of all over the place. Who were yours? Well, actually, no. Jimmy Buffett's just kind of a fun outlier.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
They're all kind of sad, and then he's just super fun. Jimmy Buffett. Two of my top five songs were Jimmy Buffett songs, and there were people sliding up on my story being like, good God, man. Get it together. That's funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I say this to you all the time, but all the bands that you like sound like ones that... It's like a guy... Like ones we would make up. Or in Disney when they're like, what's your boyfriend's name? And they're like, Vase Bookshelf.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Rainbow Kid Surprise, Modern Baseball, Pine Grove. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. That was funny that you posted the sketch after you did that. Oh, that I put in my story?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Maybe not. Offensive linemen don't typically. They don't get them a bunch, but I don't know. I had the worst day of my life ever yesterday. Oh, fun. It was awesome. Tell me about it. I woke up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I like that. That guy was such a bum. Subtle dig. All my homies. He has like $100 million, so I don't really care. Also, I woke up this morning to a FaceTime from Jack Martin. Dude, he sends me TikTok videos like it's nobody's business. Yeah, he's a big... Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're all funny, but it's like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
It's not dumb, it's awesome. Yeah, sure, whatever. Anyway, but he came in like as I was boarding and came in right behind me. And then I heard him on the phone. He's like, yeah, I'm in the fucking back on a middle seat. Didn't he say I was like, I'm slumming it today or something? And he was, sure enough. He's like seven feet tall.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
it's interesting for sure well i woke up to a facetime from him and he's like i guess evidently on set for something so he has like a ridiculous like he's like prosthetics and shit on and he's like yo they did well i was like what i was like in bed he's like they arrested hawk to a girl for the sec stuff
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
i was like what you're like i'm serious did they actually no oh but he called he woke me up this morning to tell me that he sent me a tiktok video the other day of the it's a it's a movie set they're like trying to film in new york yeah and this guy keeps going on and going is this for the talk to a podcast i've seen that i think he just really i think he really thinks talk to is like hilarious it is but but like he seems to like it more than the average guy
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I think he, like, thinks it's, like, really funny. Like, not the actual podcast, but, like, the whole, like, the lore. The fact that it exists. You hear about her, like, pump and dump thing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
She made a meme coin, and then they, like, inflated the price of it and then dumped... Basically, illegally... But, like, I don't even know if it is illegal because crypto is, like, the Wild West. Like, I think you were, like... I think it's illegal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
a lot of it the vast majority millions of dollars of fees on it's like if you bought one coin you actually only owned 85 percent of a coin yeah and they own they like owned like 95 percent of the available coins basically so they like inflated the price of it and then just sold everything all at once so they made like millions of dollars and everyone else who invested got fucked which is illegal she is being investigated for it so
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That would be so fucking funny if she went to federal prison. That would be insane. I should use my platform to promote the weird meme coins I got into so I can get rich. I don't think you're allowed to say it. What? I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to tell people to buy one. I'm not telling them to buy them. I'm just telling them that I happen to think Riz Miss Eve and Chill Rudolph...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That's Rismas Eve and chill R U D. Right. Have a lot of upside. I think what's really funny is you, there's clearly, there was clearly a thought process. You were in a certain mood when you were buying. Here's what happened. So I've never invested in, I've barely ever invested in general and I've certainly never invested in crypto. And, uh, Or one time I bought Bitcoin and I sold it right away.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
He was wearing the most... If the purpose of wearing a mask and stuff is to like... take attention away from you and, like, people did not know you were a celebrity. Yeah. His mask did the complete opposite. He kind of looked like a furry. He looked like a fucking freak. Yeah. I don't know why I got so mad there. He's mad about Machine Gun Kelly because he... Describe it to Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
But my roommate was like, dude, we got to get into meme coins. I think it could be really fun. I was like, okay. And Rizmus was the most highly trending meme coin at the time. So we're big brand individuals. We say Rizmus is already up. So we would lose if we bought that. Rizmus Eve. Yeah. is the logical next step for people who are like, what's going to be the next Rizmas? Rizmas Eve.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Didn't work. It didn't work at all. Well, maybe on Christmas Eve it'll... Oh, you lost everything on it? I mean, I bought $60 worth of it. And what is it worth now? I think a dollar. Oh, so it's literally like... That is what's so crazy about these meme coins is you can, in the blink of an eye, it's worth literally nothing. Yeah, it's worth nothing. So it's really just a gamble.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Because the people that are in the know actually make a lot of money. Will and I are not in the know. I don't know. Soulmas is up now, too. Monkey Cat is doing really well. You could send your kids to college with Monkey Cat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
It's having a weird resurgence, but it was big when we were in high school. I think it's become more accessible than ever. It's easy to start one. In the olden days, you had to...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
yeah every every like financial person that i've seen talk about it yeah it's just like this is like a really bad thing for our society you do not want you do not want crypto in our lives sounds like a guy who doesn't own any rismis eve i my brother it's like easier like traffic it has like a picture yeah like a little santa claus oh yeah and you can get the hawk to a coin there's josh block coin he's he's in la by the way
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
He got it tattooed on him. That's so sad, man. How much of it do you think Mr. Bass owns? I have no idea. I think Mr. Bass is just as dumb as him sometimes. No offense to him. I think Mr. Bass is actually pretty smart. What? In the sense of like he's a master manipulator. That I agree with.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, it's insane. All right. Should they have that his whole life? Yep. And it's gonna be worth nothing in like a couple weeks. I think it already is. I almost did. Lauren, can you Google what is BlockCoin worth right now? Yeah, it's worth, wow. Well, I mean, that number doesn't mean anything. What, it's worth less than a cent?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, but that's, like, a lot of them are, even the ones that are doing well, because it's, like, depends on, like, how much inventory there is. Oh. Like, that doesn't really tell you anything unless you know how many there are. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
It looks really, it's been looking really like strange and lumpy. Yeah. What is up with, what's up with your body? I've been noticing about both of y'all's bodies.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yours is like protruding more, like kind of in like the mid section.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Oh, yeah, that means you have AIDS, I think. Oh, God. No, you have craves. You have craves.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, man, you got a classic case of ass crickets. You got crab. Lorna's crab. You have one singular crab.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
apparently it was i had the worst sources someone said that it was a like a tiktoker's voice yeah it was like a edited video yeah i don't know it's so much funnier than the real thing yeah whatever the real thing is yeah it's also you keep going the king tut one and it was not king tut yeah it's it's not even close to king tut you called it king tut no it's like 10 000 years after king tut king richard wait google what year what year was king tut alive
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
He looks like a freak. His ball clava had, like, bunny ears. Yeah, he had, like, ears. And then he was just wearing, like, the most ridiculous...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
No, he played a different video of King Tut. I was talking about King Tut. Can you Google what year was King Tut alive?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
or like 10,000 B.C.? I don't know. King Tut years. 1333 B.C. Whoa, he died at 18 or 19. Yeah, that was like 105. Dude, that's great. I wish I could time travel. I would do it in a heartbeat if I could.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Where would I go first if I could time travel? I would go to like 2012 and be like, go grab my future self by like the collar and be like, buy as much Bitcoin as you can possibly figure out right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
why you'd come back and we'd be billionaires I would like not actually I would want to go to like the maybe like the founding of America what like they wouldn't let you in the room yeah they would They'd be like, hey, new guy, get in here for signing the declaration. Oh, they're going to be like, hey, there's a guy from the future. I guess we'll just keep him out of the loop.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Oh, you would tell them? Oh, everyone knows. Yeah. They would kill you. No, they wouldn't. Why would they kill a guy from the future? That's the exact opposite of what I'd do with a guy from the future. I don't know. They would probably, like, imprison you or something. Dude, I would rap for them. Oh, my God.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
clothes i feel like it's machine gun gun kelly we know that as phased by that you seemed very upset in the moment though well because it was just like pick up pick one either either yeah just be machine gun kelly or because it was like clear like i'm trying to not draw attention to myself but like i want you to know that it's that i'm famous i think that's just his style i think he's like that the mask the mask was like like they didn't know who it was
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That is cool, but... Yeah, what's the Honda Civic have to do with it? It's just like funny that we're not in like a cool car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, I do actually. That's kind of a boy's name, isn't it? Oh. Or I know Kristen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Her name is Christian. It'd be funny if she was Jewish and named Christian. Maybe it's a Jewish guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Works on all your devices, phones, tablets, smart TVs, smart fridges, smart watches, you name it. Blazing fast speeds. And it is rated number one by tech reviewers like CNET and The Verge. I just started using ExpressVPN and I was able to switch to my location to Spain and watch this show that I kind of understood based on my basic understanding of the Spanish language.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That being said, that was probably not the best use of it. There are a bunch of other cooler things that I could have watched, but I just like getting to play around. And I think I might go set my location to Norway and watch something I really don't understand in Norwegian later. So be smart. Stop paying full price for streaming services and only getting access to a fraction of their content.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Get your money's worth at expressvpn.com slash playdate. Don't forget to use my link at expressvpn.com slash playdate to get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free. Let's get back into the episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
She gave birth to our Lord and Savior. I know. Now I know how my mom feels.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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at first. Yeah. Because he was wearing a mask. So it worked. But you knew it was someone famous. True. But I didn't know it was him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Haven't seen that episode. Right, Lauren? Yeah. I know the person who plays the mom in Phineas and Ferb. Really? Family friend. I thought she was animated.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I know. I don't know why it's irking me. It felt like a very... Straight up irking it. It felt like a very look at me thing. uh yeah i mean i guess that's kind of what i feel like he is kind of like that yeah um oh speaking of famous guys this is one of my favorite will lines we were in vegas and kenny the jet smith comes walking through and uh we're all like oh my
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah. She also was the mom on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, I guess.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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No, no, no. So look. It'd be like if Will went and clocked in at Groundworks and did a shift. Yeah, go for it. What's Groundworks?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I think a coffee shop on Rose Ave. If it doesn't exist, that's a great name for it. I'm pretty sure Groundwork Coffee.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
You know my cat's a boy, but I've never seen his penis? There's a lot of boys I've never seen the penises of. You just kind of gotta take their word for it. How many penises do you think you've seen? A hundred.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Oh, if we're counting the internet, 10,000. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, but how many penises in real life do you think you've seen? i bet mine's under under 100 i think it's like 100 come on you've all you've caught a glimpse at the urinal oh i don't do that not on purpose you'd be like when when would my eyes ever be in that have you ever seen my penis not yet no
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
let's see i've seen like my family penises yeah i guess i've seen my family penis a hundred a hundred is probably too many there's like one there's like a mummified penis that's like the original danellen i've seen my family penis has anyone seen the family penis no it's like embalmed all right all right i gotta go to the bathroom where's the family penis We all share one. We all share.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, I guess you're right. I probably haven't seen a hundred penises. How many? I'm just thinking, like, I feel like probably once a year you accidentally see someone's penis.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, but you guys are, like, hidden. You know what I mean? Like, at what angle could you see their vagina?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Like, I'd had sex with girls, but I never looked down. You know what I mean?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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The first time I saw one, I went, whoa! What's happening to your body? Who did this to you? Do you want to see my penis?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Hey, we have 13-year-olds that listen to this podcast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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No. We got a DM from a 13-year-old. Which is not our responsibility, per se, but we should be aware. We should start marketing this as an 18 and up podcast so that people want to listen to it more. I feel like there's a phenomenon where it's like if you tell someone they can't do it, they want to. Yeah. I want... Wait.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I won't let them hurt you anymore. Yeah, they took that shit, bro. Are you circumcised? Twice. Yeah. Skinned me like a... They peeled me back. Skinned me like a turkey, then they glued it back on, and then they did it again the next year. They... Family. They shucked me like a corn of cob. Family tradition. You know, some people keep their foreskin.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Am I supposed to know who that is? Kenny the Jet Smith? Dude. Legend. You're worried he's from Family Guy right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Every time you can do it. Every time you... Nope. Every time you... I don't want to break a hundred. Every time you get your kid circumcised, they'll ask you if you want to keep it. I don't want to keep mine. The Kardashians apparently ate their placenta.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Eating the placenta? That's fucking disgusting. Oh, and they also fed it to the guys without telling them what it was. Eating your sister's placenta?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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No. Ugh. I've eaten polenta. How's that? Good? What is polenta?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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He's a little out of your orbit, but he's like an ex-basketball player, NBA commentator, and he's just awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Apparently, it was fucking... I'm not a Taylor Swift guy, but everyone I heard that went said it was awesome. Yeah, I'm really, really glad I got to go. I'm very excited. It was a moment in history. Also, the Heiress Tour has been going on since I was a senior in college.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Because my girlfriend in college went to the seniors. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
She gave a whole speech about that last year. She was like, I've never done anything... I never thought I'd do a tour this long or expected. Wait, did she keep making it longer? Or was it always just going to be this long?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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no they like added more dates i think for this last leg yeah um wait that's insane it started we're i'm fully like two years out of college yeah yeah it's been going on for like two years i think i think march would be two years i did i went a year and a half ago how does she have time to like date travis kelsey he's busy too they're getting married They're not even engaged.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I think that's what I meant. Oh. That makes sense. Apparently, they're secretly engaged. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I'm Hammerhead, you're Great White. I think you're Great White. I'm Great White, you're Hammerhead. Someone told me, someone said the other day, it feels like Hammerhead sharks have fallen off. When we were kids, they were like... I saw that. It was like a tweet, right? Yeah, they were a top three shark. All right, he says, what's the worst part... Ever tell you my mom's Hammerhead story?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Google Kenny the Jetsmith. He's a real guy. I'm not lying. You can't tell what I'm doing. Kenny the Jetsmith. And he walks into the bar that we're in, and Will just looks at him, and he's like, Kenny, can I buy you a beer? And he's like, no, dude, I'm good. And Will just goes, I will get you anything you want. No, it was more like, I was like, hey, can I buy you a beer? And he's like, no, thanks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
When she was, I don't know if she knew she was pregnant with my sister or if she was, like, newly pregnant, like, very early on. They were going, like, scuba diving or something in Mexico. And she forgot her weights to get down. And my dad was like, all right, I'll just drag you down. Like, I'll pull you down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And then, like, once you get to, like, neutral buoyancy, you can, like, hang out, whatever. Which is a terrifying idea. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
and apparently when she got in they she was like immediately freaking out and was like take me back up take me back up and he was like all right like whatever this is insane like got to the top and he was like what is the problem she was like i don't know i just have a horrible feeling so they canceled the fucking scuba dive and they were sitting at this bar and he's like telling their friends like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
how like annoying she was being that she did this. And a guy, a local overheard it. I was like, where were you guys doing this? And they were like, I don't know this reef or whatever. I was like, Oh my God. That's like, this is like when hammerheads like breed and that's like where they do it. Like you guys are really lucky. You didn't go down like that. Who was taking them out there?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I don't even know if they had a guide. They were experienced divers, but I guess they didn't know that that was where the hammerheads were.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I had an idea about an oak tree that keeps complaining about his birch wife.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Wait, what? What's the worst part about driving to a mall, a bar, or Oktoberfest? It's like a riddle. Parking? Parking. Parking.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
in a hotel room in Nashville my hotel room in Nashville went to the airport still not feeling great we like I took it way too far on Saturday night like got like really excited yeah and woke up was like scared I had ruined every relationship that I have apparently it was fine yeah talked to Liam and Angus and they were like no you weren't even the worst one so that's good who's the worst one
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
i think that exists yeah i think there are i think i have this app oh i don't think i've used it very often but there is one where it like tells you where spots are yeah it definitely isn't like what he's pitching would be like this one this exact one is open yeah that one you like pay for like parking garages in advance or like it'll tell you like where good parking spots are i do think there's version of this
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
uh i also you shouldn't be driving to the bar or october fest if you're drinking agreed good point um the trick question that was a cop that sent that the people the people that's have you ever been in a parking lot and there's a person standing in the spot saving it the yeah i think i think i think you should be able to run them over with your car yeah i agree looks like what we're talking about with that seat at the bar
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah. Yeah. I think people are fucking insane. That's insane that you can do that. I agree. All right. We got second in trivia last week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
When are you going to get first? There's no trivia this week because they rented out the bar for a corporate event.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Wait. Why don't you go to like Jameson's or something? Or not Jameson's. Why don't you go to... Brennan's. I don't like the trivia there. I don't like the... I don't like most of the trivia in LA because it's all movies.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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yeah it's so annoying and i don't know movies so i just want like history ones yeah so june shine's good and that's right is june shine mostly history not mostly history but it's like pop culture and the kind of random shit like yeah some history like jeopardy style questions in the sense that like there there's like a wide range of yeah yeah subjects um all right should we do should we do this guy or should you teach me something oh do you guys not have pitches
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And then I realized he was waiting for his friend. So we were just standing next to each other. So five seconds went by and we were like. and I was like I'll buy like any beer you want I'll get you anything you want I was at his service he was a nice guy though that was fun when Will and I were in Vegas everything in our hotel room we shared a hotel room for the first night yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
What is the worst part about... What's the worst part about driving with people who suck at driving? You're scared for your life. When they crash. Let me rephrase that. You're driving your own car. When there are people around you that suck at driving, what's the worst part about that? You crash. You can't tell them how annoying they're being. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait, someone pitched this already.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
What is it? It's like local chat for people driving next to you. Mine said proximity chat for people. I'll tell you why it made me think of this. That's that, right? Someone pitched.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go forward so I can get through here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That is exactly what made me write this down. Because the green arrow was green, but I couldn't get into the lane because the curb was there. And I almost got out of my car. Why'd you honk? I did. He didn't understand what I was mad about.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
me and milady were driving and she tried to do the same thing like go up over the curb and but she was like half of her car was like in the like meat like it's like a grass like median so like essentially she was like driving through like the park and i had to be like what did you do like what it wasn't even like green it was red hot let's just let's clearly let's just wait this is not that's what i need it's not worth it yeah um all right yeah so i'm sorry whoever pitched that first i think i may have pitched that actually
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I think it was a submission. Okay. Well. That's okay. It makes you feel better. I completely forgot to come up with a pitch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Okay. All right, what's the biggest problem? With Christmas. Yeah, the biggest problem with Christmas is it's over kind of after you open all the presents. So here, the pitch would be... Is it my pitch or your pitch? It's your pitch. Re-Christmas. Everyone puts their presents back in the box and we open each other's. I don't hate that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
What if it's that instead of doing the one present like the night before, you do one present later that night? So it makes the whole day fun. I like that a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, best present is like at midnight before December 26th.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
yes i think some people do do that oh speaking of christmas boston college is playing in the pinstripe bowl on december 28th so i'm gonna go to that now we also have to get lauren a fucking cake with her face that's true fucking where are we even gonna find that i feel like it's not that hard because i see him all the time just take a photo of me to them and be like we want this yeah i just don't know like sometimes they like they won't print stuff if it's like offensive nice lauren's face like explodes the ink machine you just dab yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
We were going to book different ones, and then Will was, like, on the hotel website and was like, want to have a sleepover one night? And I was like, sure. And so we got one with two queen beds, and we slept together first night. Slept in the same room together. Yeah, that's cute. Not, like, funking. Everything in the hotel room was shocking me. Yeah, he was like, a TV!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Put them in my lip. Break them. Sometimes I break them. Rusty doesn't even break them. I break them. I don't give a crap, honestly. I'm Willie D. Willie effing D. Give Lucy a shot today by going to lucy.co slash Friday and use promo code Friday for 20% off your first order. Again, that's lucy.co slash Friday and use promo code Friday to save 20% on your first order.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Let's get back into the episode. Alright, should we do teach me something?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Have you guys ever wondered why the passenger seat is called shotgun? Oh, I've heard about it a while ago. I have wondered this. So in the mid-19th century, stagecoach drivers would have a bodyguard, what they called a shotgun guard, ride next to them to protect against bandits and highwaymen. The bodyguard was typically armed with a break-action shotgun, also known as a coach gun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
So that's why, where we get the name shotgun. throw the seat that is pretty cool huh uh i didn't know that cool i was gonna tell you about i went also right after my dad big fart at the hospital we went and checked out they have this like after my dad big fart at the hospital museum there uh it's a museum at the hospital Kind of. It's like, so there's this room that's like protected.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
It's called the Ether Dome. And it's where they first used, it was the first like documented use of anesthesia in medicine. Look up the Ether Dome. What? I'm just laughing at the first time they did it. They were just like... Boston? It's just... Like, having no clue if this is going to kill the guy or not. Yeah, go to the images. There's, like, a famous photo of it happening. Oh!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I've seen... Yeah, they didn't... Students used to go and, like, watch surgeries. Oh, fuck. Yeah, well, these were all, like, doctors because they'd never been done before, and they had to get a tumor out of his throat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And it was the first... Like, before that, they just couldn't do that kind of surgery. Why were they all in, like, their Sunday baths? That's what they wore. Yeah. That's what doctors wore back then. They didn't know about bacteria or like infection. Isn't that crazy?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
They didn't even like wash their hands. They didn't realize that there were things that they couldn't see that would like cause medical shit. So did this guy survive? Yeah. He got a tumor from his throat removed. He was knocked out. Wait, pull up the ether down again, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
we just click on one of the other pictures yeah yeah that's so and it had a skylight in the ceiling because they could only do surgeries during the day when the light was shining down because like lamps weren't enough light wait that's interesting that they have the original photo they have the painting hanging on the wall they still do surgeries there is it like a classroom no it's just like a museum now uh maybe they do classes i'm not sure have you ever gotten ether down spooky
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
She knocked me out and gave me that ether dome. Dude, how was your night last night? How'd your day go? It was awesome, dude. She gave me ether dome. It was completely passed out. Wait, isn't ether like a different type of like matter? Like ether is like... It's like a chemical that knocks you out. Can you Google what is ether, Lorne? It's like a gas. Maybe not on images.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
No, no, he was. Like I would touch the lamp and it would be like, or I like, I would touch the teeth. Like everything in the hotel room was shocking. A sink. No, it's not what was happening. Body wash, two bottles of water.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
It sets your penis on fire. But look at the second one. What? That's what you're talking about.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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In the ether, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. But anyway, then there was some other guy that apparently had been doing it just on the low in Georgia. He had figured it out like 10 years before.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
ether dome what he had figured out like how to knock people out and do sir but he like didn't really tell anyone this is like a weird thing to keep to yourself i guess but i think he was discovering like time travel yeah and being like yeah i'm just gonna do it in athens yeah i don't know that's a good point i guess do it in houston i guess i like the idea that he was just like i'm just worried about like how i can best help people my community wasn't
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
i mean he's be there were probably like thousands of people that died in the time that he was you seen the guy playing the guitar during his own brain surgery yeah why why do they have to be awake for that i don't know it said it was something to like you had to keep the brain moving or else it'll like oh my god crazy um all right should we do this guy rocks yeah ready ladies and gentlemen
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Okay, Lauren. So click on this and then pause it immediately. And I mean immediately. Okay. So this kid that lives in like just Minnesota and is a completely normal kid. He's a reincarnated llama. He's a reincarnated llama.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So the, the like, I don't know if the, I don't know if like the Dolly law, I don't know whoever their guy is, whoever someone very high up in like the Buddhist culture saw him as a toddler and
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
and was like oh brother it's um you're the eighth reincarnation of you know so and so and they just took it as fact i don't know if it's true or not but uh so he's just like watch it he's just like a teen and like is like considered like the holy one and like he's like after high school he's a u.s teen how do they find him i don't know all right the stuff being taught the stuff you know
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
These high school footballers are celebrating the 18th birthday of their teammate who is also believed to be a reincarnated Lama. The Minnesotan teen was just a toddler when the Dalai Lama recognized him as the eighth incarnation of a revered spiritual leader.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
normal high school life and he has one foot in this amazing tibetan culture that we have in the state of minnesota after graduation in 2025 he'll head to northern india to join a monastery in the himalayas to continue his religious studies it's got to be something i gotta get used to i'm not saying that in a negative way like it you know it's positive it's in a good way right so
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
He's fluent in English and Tibetan. He grew up reading the manga graphic novel series Buddha and is a massive sports fan.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
He's the eighth reincarnation of a llama. I have so little understanding of what the fuck that means. So like, how did, why? The Dalai Lama saw him and was like, well, this is clearly the eighth reincarnation. What if he was like, no. He used to go live as a monk in the Himalayas. Yeah. I mean, if the Dalai Lama tells you you're a Lama, you're a Lama.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And then it started happening in Nashville yesterday. And I was like, okay, am I just like electric? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I don't think you really have a choice. If he told me I was a Lama and I had to move to northern India and live in the Himalayas, I would say hard pass. I think if he looked in your eyes and was like, you are the holy one, you would be like, all right, let's see where this goes. Yeah, I guess maybe I'd ride it out for a couple years. Isn't that awesome? Yeah. I gotta read more about this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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and i was like no that doesn't make any sense and then i turned off all the lights to go to bed and i like opened my eyes as i was trying to get comfortable and every movement was like a light show like i think i'm like inherently like more static than like the other person other people maybe you're using weird detergent or body soap what can you google what makes people staticky yeah why am i google why am i static staticky yeah uh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I don't know. Just play it. I can't describe it. Nobody wants to hear me describe whatever this is. Let's just get it over with.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It doesn't make any sense to me. He's flipping Xbox controllers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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But why an Xbox? Yeah, that's fucking crazy. I mean, that's really impressive. No, why Xbox controllers? I don't know. I guess PlayStation's more expensive, I think. All right, that's it. We don't need to watch the rest of this. Yeah, I mean, that's... That one speaks for itself. Yeah. All right. What do you think they have? I think they have Xbox controllers. I ain't no medical professional.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Anyone who, because there are multiple guys that do this. Anyone who does that. They probably have a happier life than we do. I didn't say that. I said, what do you think they have? Because they have something. I'm not going to make any sort of diagnosis. Some sort of burgers. Something probably similar to what Lauren has.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
They're all filled with pee. I guarantee. I knew guys like this in college. I wish my pee was in there. Look how far off of his box spring his mattress is. It's falling off the side.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Also, you know who I think I was in the same room as but didn't realize? Double Treble.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
oh no way remember those girls yeah i think they are security guards they are is it in nashville i think so because they both because i saw a video of them at the casey concert that i was at they're both they're both they're one of them's in security i don't know if both i don't know for sure if it was that same show or whatever but it looked like exactly these girls yeah yeah remember they were they're an interest they're an interesting duo i would have loved it wait that's so funny
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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oh look what you made me do look what you made me do someone over the weekend do you guys know who rose brin is no it was just some actress that someone told me i look like and i didn't know who she was until google her let's see my my grandmother to my sister goes oh you look just like uh like olivia wilde or something and i was like you do no my sister i was like sure grammy
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Me? Stetson Bennett. Me? Yeah, Google Stetson Bennett. Stetson? That makes me sad. Stetson Bennett. Don't say that. Why does that make you sad? You just don't look like. Wait, go to images, go to images. Google, or put, oh yeah, look at the, all right, middle row. Third one down. One down, to your right. What? All right, I see it. He went to Jones College.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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No, Jones College is like a community college. It's really just that one picture. And I look like Brad Pint. Google like stupidest guy ever. All right, am I the asshole?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That was my first thought. So obviously. Yeah. But yeah, I'm glad you took the proper precautions to make sure she doesn't find out about this. Listen, I don't think it's a hill worth dying on. So I would give in. But I also don't think you're necessarily an asshole for wanting to keep in the first place. I disagree. I think this is a hill worth dying on. Or not dying on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I think you should... You like the painting. You should be able to keep it. I also think it's so strange when there are relationships where people... If you're expected to hate and abandon every other past relationship, that's so strange to me. I feel like I'm still friends with most of my exes. And like... Yeah, I don't think that's normal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That's a different thing, but I think if I'm supposed to hate everyone that I used to be with, that just says more about me than you, right? Yeah, I don't know. Also, it's his college girlfriend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
It's not like it was his most recent girlfriend. He should definitely be able to keep the painting. It'd be one thing if it was of them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, I agree. But also happy wife, happy life. That's kind of where I'm like, I have a little piece of art that was from my ex-girlfriend that I still have.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
would you get rid of it if a new girlfriend told you to yeah totally my wallet but i like it my wallet that i use every day my ex gave me that he got in france and it's just like a sick wallet so i don't want to get rid of it but that's different because he didn't make it yeah yeah yeah that's true the fact that she made him a painting is wait is that yeah is that what it was yeah what do you mean she made the yeah mine wasn't one she made either uh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I wore a bracelet. I had like a bracelet like this that my girlfriend made when I was younger. And I kept it until it fell off. But we weren't together. I still have it actually. It's in my trinket box back home. I have a box of all my favorite trinkets.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I mean we were just like dumb a lot of the stuff was like dumb that I thought was like awesome in high school like I remember we had a party at my house that I thought was like the greatest party ever it was fun and my friend wrote the date on a ping pong ball and we put it in the thing to be like that was a fun day wait you said you did that for all your parties there was a couple but I think I can only picture like I don't know and then Liam rinsed you for it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Me? What do you mean, do I like to do that? You can't just blindly say that. You do that. Never seen me do that. You love that shit. You're always like, woohoo!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, I might have been exaggerating when I said every party. I think it happened a couple times. It seems like you're just backtracking. No, I think it happened a couple times. That's sick, dude. Those parties must have been sick. And then we have Polaroids. Oh, I heard a funny story the other day. My dad told me that when we sold our house...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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in may or one of our houses the house i grew up in in maine we live in a different one now uh when they sold it they like the family got like a discount on the house because of an interaction they had when they were out of town and i was the only one home when they realtor brought them over so they they were touring the house i didn't know anyone was coming and the backyard was trashed it was a covid peak covid time so we were like you could only have like outdoor uh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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kickbacks or whatever there was like garbage all over the backyard and one of the kids went to explore like the pool house which is where we all slept and when he opened the door he knocked over a bottle of jack daniels and it like shattered and apparently the family was like so upset that they like knocked some money off the house isn't that bizarre wait not like off the price the funny thing when they they damaged yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
No, no, no. They're buying your house. They were like... It was such a bad first impression of the house that they ended up like... It was like a talking point and they got a better deal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Wait, I'm confused. What do you mean? They knocked money off and make it cheaper. Yes. It'd be worse for you guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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oh that was bad for you guys that like i they came over the house was supposed to be spotless i wasn't supposed to be there and i had like trashed the house i thought you were saying like it was the kid's fault for knocking over the bottle that was just like my fault for like it like being there got it um i thought you were saying it was like a good thing i'm misunderstood no one time i had a party in college how was it did you get laid no
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Do you actually have a party in college? Yeah. One too many. Right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I would say you should be able to keep it, but Will's right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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If you're posting on Reddit about your relationship, you're probably already fucked. They're always doing a new sport back there. What the fuck is that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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No. If someone's snoring in the movie theater, you should... Yeah, that's insane. Like, hey, Bozo, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. No, you should... If they're within arm's reach of you, you should politely be like, hey. Yeah, I think that's incredibly fair. So funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I'm working. Mets got Juan Soto last night. Huge. I happened to be wearing a Mets hat yesterday, and I was on the airplane. You happen to be. You're always wearing a Mets hat. I wouldn't say. Since the season ended, I don't really wear this much. Oh, really? No, I guess I had it on last episode, so that's going to look like a lie to these people. Anyway, whatever.
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Like, criminal... But the people come clean it. Yes. Criminal negligence. Like, someone didn't do their job. That sounds absolutely terrifying. And she... I don't know how she figured it out. She like got the door open and like flagged someone. How do you even like her phone?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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She said it was pitch black. I don't even understand how like the people next to you don't go like, hey. Yeah, I guess everyone thought at some point someone else will wake her up. That's insane. Yeah, woman fault. The video is. I also can't believe I'm still like, I went out there and all of them were like acting like I was ridiculous. Really? Yeah, it was Gavin bouncing. He was like, come on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And Dan was like, God, like, what do you do? You can't hear it on the mics. Yeah, but we can hear it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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yeah woman said she was left alone on air canada plane after falling asleep during a flight tiffany adams said she fell asleep while flying from quebec to toronto she said she had experienced recurring night terrors since the yeah i'd be i'd be so scared um she's gonna get a fucking bag yeah i'm so she's gonna get so much money i don't know about that dude that's like what's the damage is night terror she could have died could she have
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, it depends on how long they would have... What if they didn't find her? Yeah, what if she just... She said it was like freezing in the plane. It must be snacks. Yeah, it's insane. All right, should we... I don't understand how that happens even a little. That's crazy. I know, it doesn't make any sense. Maybe she's so small you can't barely see her. That's true.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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All right, should we do... Dancing through life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Things that we wish had wrapped like Spotify or sayings that don't exist. Which one do you want to start with? Let's do things that are wrapped. Things we wish were wrapped. All right, Spotify wrapped this out. What else do you wish there was a wrapped for? I wish there was a rap for, it would give you a percentage of people in the world who would sleep with you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I'm just curious like where I fall on most people's like radar. It's like puts you in like a percentile. It would be like 15% of the world would sleep with you. That'd be like, I feel pretty good about that. That would be crazy. That would take a toll on me. I'd be really sore. Underwear. I would like to know which of my underwear I've worn the most. I know which one you've worn in the most.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Which one? The flags one. I don't think that might. I don't know if that's true. I think my coral ones might. But like, you know, like I feel like it's always interesting because I have ones that get hot. Yeah. Just like music. I would like to know the amount of gas stations I've been in that had a winning lottery ticket available. Oh, that's interesting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Like if I like not necessarily the next one. Yeah. But there was a possibility for me to win the lottery. I like that a lot. Cuisine. I would like to know what type of cuisine I've eaten the most of. I think I might have had more tacos than anything else this year. It's possible.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I don't know what a pizza is. I think it has to be... Just with Chipotle alone, I think I've had more burritos and tacos and bowls than anything. I think Mexican, yeah. Mexican food's really good. Mexican food's the best food in the world. I agree. Let me see. I would want to... Oh, I would want to know like people in your life that stalk your Instagram.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, not anymore, though. The Yankees are a little bro now. And there were guys coming up on the airplane. It was very fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
So I'd be like, these are the top five viewers of your Instagram this year. But it's like just for people that you know. I like that. So you can be like, oh, no way. Like that random person really is checking up on me. Bagel. I would like to know which type of bagel I've had the most of. Because honestly, this morning I had onion. Early in the year, I was everything. I had a cinnamon raisin phase.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I've had a blueberry phase. I had a few asiagos. I just want to know which one I've had the most of.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
yeah and like how many pounds of bagel you've had that i don't want to know that would how many pounds you've gained from bagel how many bagel i've done um i want i want just a ranking of the outfits that i look best in oh i like that so because sometimes i feel like you get comfortable with your outfits but there is one that you don't wear a lot that to everyone else you look very good this might be the outfit i've worn the most this year
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
1,000%. Yeah. At least from the bottom down. And same for me, minus the shoes. I mean the top, too. Yeah. Because I used to, every day during the playoff run. Words. I would like to know what words I've said the most, and I want to be able to filter out dumb ones like the Nant. What do you think they would be? Killer. Killer is my one. Bizarre is probably in my five. Yeah. Goated. Bananas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, that's like a very cool moment. That is cool. I... Oh, when we were in Nashville, when I came home, like, hammered from the bar, I went to plug my phone in before my flight. It was on 1%. I was like, okay, I need my alarm to go off so I can get on the flight, obviously. Yeah. Go to plug my phone in, and the charger just breaks off in my phone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Bananas. Pine needles? I was saying that a lot behind your back.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
um i just want a world ranking of like the biggest poop that i've taken this year so it'll be like yeah i feel like you did that one last year no that was a different one that was um that was i want to know if i've ever taken the biggest poop that day of anyone in the world yeah no shot dude like seven footers like one poop would make you look like a freaking idiot pull up pull up giant poop in bedpan hospital it's the funniest picture i've ever seen in my entire
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I feel nauseous already. Lauren, I swear to God I'm not steering your eye. It's not gross. It doesn't look real. That's how insane it is. You won't be grossed out because you won't be able to believe this. And this was one of yours? Yes. What am I looking at? Giant poop bedpan hospital.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
No, no, no. It's so comically made. Okay, I do. I do. I do. You can't even wrap your head around that it's real. Yeah, it's this one. Oh. My. God. What did that come out of? A human. A human's butthole. Well, that's bigger than... That's eight times bigger than my butthole. That's so funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Because they have to get rid of it somehow. It can't stay in his room. You can't flush it? Oh, is he in the...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Oh, she's probably bringing it to the bathroom to like chop up. She probably still like chop it up into like different slices. You have to dice it. It's the size of like my forearm. It was like a Jimmy. It was like a Jersey Mike's giant sub. Um, all right. Maybe I'm getting Jersey Mike's today. Should we wrap up with, uh, sayings that don't exist? Yeah, that's it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
You didn't come up with that. Yeah, our friend gave it to us. Shout out to our friend. That told both of us it together. Did you ever written that as well? No, because I have integrity. Don't scratch an itch with a razor blade. Don't, you know, make a small problem. You don't take a drastic measure to fix like a problem that's going to end up hurting you in the end. Yep.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
You can fall down the stairs a lot. Wait. You can fall down the stairs a lot You can fall down the stairs a lot quicker than you can go up them Oh, I like that. Success is gradual, but failure can happen in an instant. Will you say that last part again? Because I talked over you. Success is gradual, but failure can happen in an instant. I got waiting for my wave.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
It's when people are trying to rush you. I like that. Everyone else is making big things happen, and they're like, dude, what are you doing? You're like, come on, man. I'm waiting for my wave. I like that a lot. You got to wait for the right moment to strike. That's very good. Thank you. Lauren did not like it. When I said that, Lauren went,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Run the tape. I went like this. Nope. Put Lauren's face right here after. And then put a pirate with no job here. All right. Put a picture of me in a fun shirt here. All right. I've got eat around the worm, like a worm in an apple. So sometimes you tell someone like, hey, you just got to eat around the worm, dude. Like can't let one little imperfection taint something larger of importance.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
My phone's on 1% and I'm sitting there with the cable in one hand and then the charger in the phone and they're not connected. What happened? It just snapped off. What did you do? What did I do to fix it? I called downstairs. I was like, do you have a charger? And the guy was like, it was like four in the morning. He was like, what? I was like, do you have a phone charger? He's like, who is this?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Something of larger importance. Or like making the best of a bad situation. Yeah, just eat around the worm, dude. I got letting the dog walk you. It's like letting your surroundings dictate your life when in reality you should be in control of it. Dude, we're cooking. Don't turn a hobby into a headache, all right? Let some things just be fun, all right? Don't let them stress you out, all right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
There are some things in life that aren't worth it. Like, for instance, I had a big error in our company softball game last Monday. I was pretty pissed off. And then I realized, you know what? Don't let a hobby be a headache. We're all just here to have fun. Yeah, I think I need to take that advice for Legos. Sometimes I'll be like on like hour eight. I'm like, what am I even?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Forgot to clock in. It's like if a guy's being kind of spacey and out of it and boneheaded, you're like, buddy forgot to clock in today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Usually we just have to courtesy of... I just thought that was... It's kind of like you got to lock him. Yeah, with a C at the beginning. Yeah. Okay. What about this one? You could print his resume on a Post-it. Yeah, like that guy who's never done anything cool. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
uh damn space bar is bigger than the backspace for a reason you know sometimes you just need to take a minute and pause instead of undoing the progress you've made nice um that's one uh in a language i don't understand
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
But it's very profound. It's good. It's good. What language was that? Rahiki? No, I don't know. I don't know. I just found it online. Kronkuga.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That is the scariest thing I've ever heard. And I don't know how to fly. Are you going to die? I think there's, like, a chance. I mean, presumably, if we, like, went to a tailspin, she would, like, save it, but... Or, like, I'm sure there's a click of a button and you can go into auto, so... No, it's like a stunt plane. It's like a single-engine plane. Well, this may be our last playdate, folks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yep, but I've literally never flown a plane. But I do, I have flown flight simulators. I think I, like, it's like the gist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
that is uh it's exciting apparently i'm flying it i'm flipping it upside down too we're doing like a barrel roll and we're doing like a loop-de-loop so and you don't need like a certification for this nope that's crazy my girl dagmar is sitting behind me who else is going to be in the plane with you literally just us two there's only two seats in the plane that's crazy i would never do it Nover.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Isn't that insane? Yeah, that's really cool. I still am like not scared, but I think it will set in at some point. Oh, it's going to be shit. You're going to be shitting your pants.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I'm going to be shitting my pants. Yeah. Your pants. What did you say? Denver. Yeah. All right. We love you guys. Have a great rest of your week. Oh, personality. Sorry. That was selfish. I know. I just have to poop so bad. Okay. Well, I'm stealing Steve Cohen's personality. Like Brandon Cohen's dad? Mm-hmm. Is his dad named Steve? I think so. Matt's owner.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And I was like, I'm in my room. And then I went downstairs, bought one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Because I'm balling out and I'm not letting anyone fuck with my vision. Nice. Lauren, quickly, because I'm about to shit myself.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
All right. We can end the episode. Go poop. All right. We love you guys. Have a great rest of your weekend. I'm going to go do horrible. I'm going to go paint the porcelain throne. Love you guys. See you next Wednesday. Paint the way. We might even start seeing you guys on Monday soon. Maybe not next Monday, but if you don't know yet, we're moving to two episodes in the new year.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
and i have to my phone is so shitty that i have to like balance it perfectly so i was just like i bounce it on a piece of trash and it was just like if it falls i won't make my blood i had i had my phone died overnight the first night we were there it was at like 10 but like there wasn't a way to charge it while being on it in my bed right and i decided i was like you know what i'll scroll a little 10 i'll last me till the morning and
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Oh, we're not. I don't think we're announcing that yet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Okay, fine. If you made it this far, yeah. If you made it this far, that's the season. But don't tell anyone. Don't tell anyone. All right, love you guys. Bye.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
It did not. I woke up, and it was dead, and the sun was out, and our call time was 10, and I was like, oh, my God. I'm going to fucking get fired and go and plug it in, and I'm butt-ass naked, and then I have to plug it in this corner, and I'm just squatted over it doing a prayer circle over my phone. Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
My butt cracked just right above the phone. Wait, why?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Because it was, like, the only outlet was, like, in the part that was, like, in between the wall and my bed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
And the only way for me... I guess I could have, like, been up on the bed, but, like, in the moment, it was just... It was high stress, and I was just squatting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
You can't spoil something from 25 years ago. I walked in on this argument, but it was Will explaining Wicked, which came out in the 80s. I wasn't even explaining it. She just said she got mad that she saw it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Lauren was mad that someone online spoiled the second half of Wicked. And I'm like, bro, that came out in 2000. Right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
But what my point is, I also had it spoiled. I also saw part one. I'd never seen Wicked. Saw a spoiler about part two. And I was like, okay, yeah, I mean, that's going to happen. You know that I love you, right? You have never been more... This is the most insane take I've ever heard. The movie, it came out... The story's been around for longer than you've been alive.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Fell into all the buttons and pressed every single one. Everyone in the elevator just had to go to every floor and was so mad at him. That is actually kind of hysterical. That's like not that bad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I still think it's annoying. It can be annoying. It can definitely be annoying. The person that posted it should be receiving zero backlash.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, because morons are like, you spoiled it. The story's been around for, what, 40 years? It's like if they make a musical version of Toy Story and then I get mad that you spoiled Toy Story for me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Everyone was looking at my shit pants all baby shower. I shit my skirt at the baby shower. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
If you had the pro version... If you had the pro version... Sorry, I got a text about this kid from high school.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
um this pro version of the app would like record you every time you talked in your sleep yeah and you could like go and listen back to it and it's funny like it's so clear that you're trying to work out like something that's happening in your life so you'll be like like you listen to yourself i would listen to myself talk in my sleep and it was like me like working through like a problem in my like my real life that's scary i don't want to know whatever i'm talking about do you sleep talk a lot
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
falling into the no no it's not bad at all it's like it's it's funny to not be part of it i would have been terrified to be part of that true we were at the tin roof uh and then he showed up and like jumped the fence or something and the guy was like whoa whoa what are you like get out of here man but he was like very like to his credit he was like oh i'm out of here
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Hast du das letzte Mal gelesen? Nein, nein, niemals. Er macht es mit Liedern.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Sie haben einen Sex-Show in Amsterdam gemacht. Und sie bringen Leute auf. Ich weiß nicht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Die Plattform, die wir vor Shopify verwendet haben, hat regelmäßig Updates gebraucht, die teilweise dazu geführt haben, dass der Shop nicht funktioniert hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Das ist so süß. Das ist so süß. Das ist so süß.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
1919 würdest du 105 Jahre alt sein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Die Plattform, die wir vor Shopify verwendet haben, hat regelmäßige Updates gebraucht, die teilweise dazu geführt haben, dass der Shop nicht funktioniert hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Die Plattform, die wir vor Shopify verwendet haben, hat regelmäßig Updates gebraucht, die teilweise dazu geführt haben, dass der Shop nicht funktioniert hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
hey dream all right this is this is a video that made me laugh no no i don't know i don't pass by 47 and i done seen this mural up a million or many a days but i'm gonna tell you that they got a whole bunch of famous people up there but i'm gonna tell you right now who the fuck is reggie i'm just asking who the fuck is reggie they ain't give him no last name everybody got last names bb king albanita walker
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
They even got, they even got Elvis Presley last name, and they got a nigga named Reggie just at the bottom. Man, what the hell? Who is that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Under rocks and streams. What state? Well, I was looking for crayfish when I did it in Pennsylvania, but by the time I moved to South Carolina, they were crawdads.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
And they hide under rocks and streams. lobsters for babies that should be a oh my god sorry no i wasn't gonna say i didn't think it was gonna be that good i cut you off to save you yeah uh no i'm kidding um i had an idea for a movie this weekend yep uh it's like a it's like a 2000s uh like family comedy kind of it's called kid babysitter of course Did I tell you about this earlier?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Yes, but I want to hear it again. Okay, kid babysitter. I'll put you to Lauren, too. It's like the mom's like, all right, your babysitter will be here in just a minute. Your dad and I are going out for dinner. We'll be back later. And the babysitter comes up to the door and arrives, and it's actually also a kid.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
And he goes...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
And then it just cuts, like, a montage of them, like, going crazy around the house. They're wiping his ass. Yeah, they're wiping his ass. No, they're not wiping his ass. There's no asses. There's no kid's asses. Oh, they're old enough to wipe his ass. There's no kid's asses in this movie. I just want to get... In case there's, like, a director listening.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
My parents were like running through the gauntlet of like trying to find a good babysitter. One of them was like a dude. I think he was the only dude babysitter we ever had. And he, we had like freeze pops in the freezer and he let us eat an entire thing of freeze pops. What? in one day. And it was the best afternoon of my life. My parents came home like, what do you do?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
We had one kid who, like, or it was a girl that, I guess, like, was, like, a bad driver, which is not that I would expect that. So don't make a fucking, don't make a look at me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
And my brother and sister were like, mom, we got to get rid of this lady. She's going crazy in the car.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
and then uh yeah i don't know we had one that i think made me a hot dog that one's not a good one or not a good story that one was a middle of the road yeah but then we just did our job yeah then we landed on tasha and tasha was the best dude she had a she had a pool at her house and she would take you see what she's hot yeah i don't know or not no i was child i was like seven i think that's a classic like having a crush on your babysitter
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
I don't think I had a crush on her. Well, anyway, she would take us to her house and we'd play the watermelon game because she had a pool at her house. Do you know the watermelon game?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
You go like this, and then you go...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
When I'm getting my doctor ball cupped. What's your doctor ball?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
So very excited that they're now sending us even more of these things. I love them. The grapefruit flavor. I can't say enough good things about, but they're all great. That's just a personal favorite. I'm thinking, hey, it's election night tonight.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
This is an authentic grin on my face that we are back working with these folks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
This season, Fireball Whiskey wants to provide an extra spark to ignite football rivalries all season long. Here's what I will say. We had a bye week this week, which might be the closest we come to winning for the rest of the season. So we also took a shot to celebrate that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
So in Lancaster, PA. Oh, there he goes. The rusty shuffle. Once per episode, he gets up and shakes it all out. Ooh, speaking of cupping your balls.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
All right, well, I... Now I can't stop thinking about his balls. The mark...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
In Lancaster, Pennsylvania, there's a market downtown called Central Market. It's awesome. It's like the coolest market I've ever been to because all the Amish people come in from all the surrounding areas and they bring in their produce and stuff. They have like the best apple cider. There's this Middle Eastern stand called Saif's that I used to rip.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
get chicken cheese wraps they gummy one of those gummy places where you get a little bag and you can take you can mix and match all different sorts of gummies unreal central market likes your coolest spot ever uh what was i saying oh the market master how are you all right just keep going the market master was like kind of like a well-known like a like a well-known position in in leicester like it was like you knew the mayor you knew the market master you knew the mayor
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
My dad's friend just ran. My dad ran this like environmental nonprofit with this other lady. And then she decided to run for mayor. And she won. Nice. Now she's been the mayor for like eight years.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
anyway so the market master market master was like a revered position in the town everyone knew who the guy was i guess and one time my dad and i went to the ymca and we went to the locker room to change to play like racquetball or something and there was the market master you know like in the locker rooms where they just shine his nuts and balls and butt and how old is the market master
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
He's like, yeah, I remember. So that was a defining point in my childhood, at least. It's so good. I want to go back there. This time of year, that looks beautiful.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
The Central Market dude was so sick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Something about my fucking grandma.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Jesus Christ. This guy has no moral compass at all. It's just like oh another podcast? Can I make fun of Will's dead grandma again?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
It was my first November without her.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
She used to always make, wait, I have one thing to say about my grandma while I'm thinking of it. She used to make, like on turkey Thanksgiving, on Thanksgiving, she would put the turkey, just put it in a cooler and fill the cooler with Jack Daniels and soak it overnight. And then my mom would take it from there and like make the turkey.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Swear to God.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
My dad smoked our turkey last year in like his big green egg. And it was just taking forever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
That is kind of nice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
You know what I think might be perfect to wear to Thanksgiving? What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
That my high school buddies have put in their profiles of us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
yeah um wait what was i gonna say though fucking it was gonna be viral We're going, oh, we're doing the live show in New York. Yep. Live sketch comedy. If any playmates in the New York area want to come. Just Will. Just me, yes. Well, me and the other sketch guys from this company. But yeah, November 17th, you should come.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Isn't that second one it says just like a racist thing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
I watched Peaky Blinders and Survivor yesterday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
No, do you? No. No, I just was drinking water, coffee. Nice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Whoa, little Oedipus slip up there. Run the clip. He said romantic mother.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
I'm very grateful to have received these, and I don't want to sound – I don't think anyone else's will come damp. That being said, I don't know what – it must – I don't know what happened, honestly, because it was in a plastic bag inside another larger plastic package, and it was really damp. But I still am wearing it. It's that good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Attaboy, AKC. ACD. ACDC.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
I was in Russia, and I was in a thing about climate change, and I was just a fucking terrorist. I was just denied climate change, shot down all the legislation... Uh, it was honestly so much fun to play like a climate denier.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Yeah. Like that's like, that's how you like get rewarded.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Yeah. Anyway, the moral of the story was me and Garrett were driving to class because this other kid was also in the class from high school. And I was trying to park in a parking lot and I was cutting in really close on like a pole.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
It fucking, no, it like crumpled. I went like, ah, I was like, I was like, oh my God, I irreparably fucked up that thing. And then the moment I reverse out of it, it just goes like, and like pops.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Maybe this just was a freak accident.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
There was a big Seltzer poll over the weekend. J. Ann Seltzer. It's like one of the most respected pollsters ever. Yeah. And she she's in Iowa. So she usually does the primaries very accurately. She predicted Obama would win before that was cool. And she predicted her poll said that Kamala was up three points in Iowa, which is insane.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
In the one place in America where women still have a right to choose. You can vote any way you want. Did you make the right choice? Sure did, honey. Remember, what happens in the booth stays in the booth. Vote Harris Falls.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
That's funny. Wait, click on this lady? I feel like I know who this is. Yeah, she started Moms Demand. I've met that. She has more followers than us. She has more followers than us? Oh, and Emerge, yeah. I worked with her back in my political days.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
My mom did this. It's like training for a woman to run for office. And she never actually ran, but...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Fire pants.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
I feel like I'm really excited about this week. I think it's going to be really fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
I'm taking this very seriously. I want to step up in Rick's absence. We need to win. We need a dub. We need to win. We had a bad loss last week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
You had several errors?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Anyway. Teeper and Joe were like our only two like actual baseball players they couldn't come and so it was kind of like we didn't have our best guys my brother had played the first week too and he wasn't here so we're down to some some top end talent so I was like you know what are you one and one Scott wasn't there either so we like four of our most like athletic dudes all weren't there
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
So I was like, all right, I'm going to play shortstop because I thought I could hold it down. I started off well. I had a few nice plays. And then I got the yips in the fifth inning, dude. And I just had two errors, one that could have turned a double play. And we ended up giving up 15 runs that inning or something. So I was like, I should have just fucking...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Lauren had a play.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
I'm not going to say names, but there's definitely people who haven't really played baseball before.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
But then there's people that are just like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
And then I just completely overran the base. And then I was in like no man's land and tried to go to third. It was just a bad base running move.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Are you spending the holidays with your new partner's family and want to make a good impression?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
I'm fucking cooking. All right, let's switch the seats for a second. Will, pitch me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
All right, here's what I'm thinking. Ready? I think I texted you about this the other day, so don't let it ruin it. But commercials for hanging out. Think about it. It's a way for you, if you're having people over and you want to make some extra money, it's a service you can sign up for where an ad plays every 30 minutes or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
But there are going to be ads and people just go in knowing that. And then it's like every 30 minutes you just stand and you watch it. I don't have to watch it on the TV or maybe, maybe they send a guy out and he kind of like gives you a quick pitch every 30.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
What do you guys want to do? That's my Lauren impression.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
That is insane that that is what your Skyrox is because that is what my Teach Me Something is about.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
British horse races. Not even kidding. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
You know what I watch?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
That's pretty cool, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
You didn't do it. You didn't do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Interesting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
funny it was like a shane gillis pod clip and they were just saying they're just like laughing about the like tony hinchcliffe thing yeah and how like imagine if like that ends up affecting the outcome of election the election and then some like commonly getting elected actually does cause world war three yep and then it's all because he made franz ferdinand is traced back to like yeah comedian tony hinchcliffe uh did you think that joke was funny
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
What was it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Yeah, yeah. Bird is the word.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
What were we talking about? Teach Me Something. Oh, Teach Me Something. Yes. All right. So this is somehow also about British horse racing. Okay. So I was watching an episode of Peaky Blinders, and they referenced...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Griff, what's going on?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Hell yeah. Well, hey, I had a question for you. Not to put you on the spot here, but...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Or is that completely independent?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Absolutely, yeah, yeah. Like in Criminal Minds.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
That's awesome. Well, thank you for the help here. This has been very helpful. I'll have to give you another call again soon and chat more. And, yeah, hopefully see you soon.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Yeah, take care. Bye.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
It's like the biggest horse race in England. They do it every year. They've been doing it like fucking forever. And 1913 Epsom... Okay, so this lady, her name is Emily Davison. who is a suffragette.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
I don't know how that... Okay, yeah. Yeah, there we go. Oh, at first they only let women over 30 in 1918. Good, good. And then they made it on par with men in 28. Good. So not too much after. Anyway, I just thought that was like, that's like, I always think that these like extreme forms of protests are very fascinating.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
But I think in this context too, though, like it is interesting, like now with like the internet, it's like very much, it can be easier to like get your eyes in front of that many people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
That's just the plot of Family Guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Yeah, well, he didn't do his job last year. God did not save the queen. She died. The queen died. Yes. This is how Rusty finds out the queen died.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
The comms are saying it's like Green Day meets The Beatles, which I think is perfect. No, we don't know where or before.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
No, this is not. This is the best idea we've ever had. Let's start with, you want to do sayings that do exist? Sure. All right, these are sayings that do exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Okay, and now this is one we're also going to do. These are bird noises that don't exist. All right. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
And a friend of him. I've gotten to know him recently, but it's someone I've been watching his stuff with for a long time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
And we were trying to come up with, like, a way to, like, prank him. And we thought, like, you know, we do, like, pranks on my show.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
And they... She was like, yeah, I'll come and debate. And so we... In the middle of this interview that he didn't... Without him knowing that it was going to happen, we brought out his opponent and staged a debate right on the show.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
What was that thought process?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Also, we didn't, that's kind of a, it's a funny thing because ironically, this is kind of what has gotten us in hot water, but we didn't want to make fun of like, he's actually running for office and takes it very seriously and is very well spoken on the issues. So I kind of wanted to highlight that, I thought. Yeah. But he did not receive the setup, as he called it, very well.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
was you know pretty upset it was pretty awkward honestly it was i've never experienced anything like that in my life because it's like well we just had to go through with the rest of the episode how early into the episode was it it was like one of the first things uh oh i mean he he crushed it too like i didn't think and and immediately after too i was like dude we don't have to air any of that like did not realize it was gonna be taken that way i i felt very bad i texted him after apologized but then he i texted him apologized and he was like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
I didn't appreciate it. I'm going to get you back or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
And then I just said one of the most influential people in my life has been this professor I had in college who's a super famous political scientist and historian that has the most subscribed newsletter in the U.S.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Yeah, which is really annoying. That shit drives me crazy. I don't know. The whole thing is very strange. I do not want to have beef with anyone, and I respect him very much as a comedian. I feel very bad that it happened, so I hope we can move on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
I think he was genuinely very upset.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
It was a seismic energy shift that was very uncomfortable for everyone involved. And, uh... Yeah. I mean, also, like, the episode's not even coming out before the election, so it's not like it's going to have any effect on the outcome of his city council election. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Yep. Uh, hanging out tax. I think that there should be a tax on hanging out, which makes you a little bit more deliberate and thoughtful about the social situations you put yourself in. Right. It's not a big tax. It's just something to make you be a little bit more mindful because sometimes you're hanging out with people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
So I'm going to steal Matthew McConaughey's.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Caitlyn's having... Caitlyn's having a party and all of our friends are invited and we're... Caitlyn's having a birthday party and it's the same Caitlyn that we are friends with.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Come on. Dan, who's number 62?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
I would like mine a little drier, but I'm not really. Can I feel yours? Yeah, I think they're fine right now. Yeah, they are very fine. But it's just when I'm holding stuff, they get really sweaty. Oh, like when I was playing Wii, I've been doing these like live streams, winging it up. And so I have the controller in my hand and people walk by like, nice shot and like high five me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Falling for podcast. It was my idea a second ago. It was like a dentist who says, God, this is like pulling teeth. Anytime he's doing something that makes a lot of money. You like that, Lauren?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
That's awesome. I had some unhoused people camping outside my house this weekend. But I made a big faux pas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Yeah, no, they literally, like, right outside my back gate, they created a tent using my trash can and my recycling bin as, like, the tent poles.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
it was Scott was at the apartment me and my friend Lily were just walking to CVS and back and we get outside the back gate and we're turning right and the person the unhoused person says apparently they said how are you doing and I heard do you have any money
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
which is so fucked up which is definitely just like my brain like i'm sure they're asking like i don't it was i'm not proud of it and i go i'm sorry i don't have any money and she goes what i just said how are you doing uh and i was like oh my god you apologize fucking nightmare uh yeah i was like i'm so sorry i did not i completely misheard you that's my fault and she's like oh you're okay have a good one yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
So we go back, we come back, and on the way back, they're like, any chance you're renting that garage out? Mind you, the garage... We don't own the property, obviously. Right. I should have just said yes and taken some money. Yeah. Could have been a huge venture for me. Start renting out our garage. But...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
could have also gone poorly also i don't know how much they would have had to offer so i said no stuff like buttons and nickels but then yeah and then we go in to tell scott this and apparently while we're gone he had gone to try to take out the recycling and like seeing them and kind of gotten spooked at first and then been like no it's fine like and then gone back out and he just had to basically like go into their house and be like excuse me just dumping our recycling and
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
Do you have a teaspoon? Anyway, it was just kind of funny. They were perfectly nice folks, and they were there all weekend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we went to the REAL drunken clam with the cast of family guy?!?!
So that's how he makes money. Oh. It's like he uses that phrase to describe situations in which he's making a lot of money.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I asked him to sit in my chair so I could focus the camera on me and he just rips the nastiest... Detonated. He goes, you might not want to sit there for a second. I didn't say that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Wait, for like sayings that don't exist or whatever in the future, you should start having specific themes and then you guys both have to stick to the themes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I was in a sorority for one semester at Dayton. I was an AP at Dayton. AP at Dayton, shout out. But then I... Where are my A-fees at? I dropped because Greek life just wasn't very big there, and I had to pay for it with my own money. I'm like, that's a waste of money. Yeah. And, yeah, I had already met. Yeah, it was, like, fine. I was like, I'm bored.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Yeah, there's not much going on there. It's like a post-industrial wasteland. The campus is gorgeous. Very, very beautiful.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Oh, that's right. Yeah. yeah no i mean i'm listen it was actually the only place that i visited for my college tour only place i toured and i immediately was just like i felt a connection i'm like i want to go it was between dayton and denver that was interesting well dayton's the denver of ohio they call the denver of south east western ohio yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I don't know. I had a great experience, though, overall.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I applied to Santa Clara in California. That was my dream. I always wanted to come to school in California.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I knew my parents weren't actually going to let me, but then I ended up here anyway.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
You start going crazy. He gives you the worst haircut.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I didn't know that that was your dream school. How did that... I loved UPenn.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Oh. Oh. I'm clipping that. I'm not going to date my mom.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
The permitting division of the building department.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Dude, I was on a walk the other day and I saw shit on the side. In the hands.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Yeah, that's good. What are the two worst parts? What are the two worst?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
What are the two worst parts about making a burrito slash breakfast burrito at home?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Uh, Bobby odor says you always put too much stuff in it for it to be rolled up and eat normally. And the tortillas are never as good as at restaurants. I present to you Tia Tortilla working title. Simply load the machine with tortilla ingredients in one basket and your burrito filling in the other. Let the machine take care of the rest.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Its sensors feel out and bake a perfect size tortilla for the amount of filling you have and then it puts the filling on the tortilla and rolls it up perfectly. Get the Tia Tortilla Plus for it to roll it in tin foil and keep it toasty for you. It's also self-cleaning. Keep up the good work.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
So good. So good. Marijuana has good buffalo cauliflower.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Well, props to you. See, I never even wanted to try because I'm like, I don't.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
All right. Thank you, Bobby. Next one is from Will Hewick. Wow. H-U-Y-K-E.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Hey, Lauren. What do you love about him, Lauren? I like his sunglasses and his profile picture. Body?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
all right dude that was a cartoonish that that's the first one was a loony tune that was how drake farts that's the first one that the mics have ever captured like i actually i'm gonna i'm gonna bump up the volume yeah do that okay all right will says hey lauren and the aristocats business pitch of the century just go just power through what's the hardest part about planning a trip with a group bigger than three
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
What is the hardest part about planning a trip with a group bigger than three?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
That's right. He literally says, that's right, Willie D, getting everyone to agree on a trip. Introducing Destinotion. It's a Tinder-like app where you and the guys slash gals set up a group to help decide on where to go. The group is made with a specific week, so everyone already agrees on a time span. You set up a profile with your non-negotiables and a filter with preferences.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
For example, activities, price, mountains, beach. The app will then load up different locations that you can swipe through once there's a match. The swipes will begin again with Airbnbs in that area along with its own attributes like a potential partner's profile. You like golf and beer? A home could be just 10 minutes from the course and have a built-in minibar.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
This will make everything streamlined so these vacations can actually make it out of the group chat. No need for meetings and haggling, just a destination.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Hey, not everyone has the same level of financial education. Literacy. No, you're right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Yeah. I was going to say like people knocking your mirror off, driving by and like slashing, like scratching.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
awful wait speaking of um this morning that's a pretty good bit like the guy looks yeah sorry what no it's it's this is just a little side story this morning i was in my room i'm like on the third floor in my building so i'm kind of high up i can see and there's an alley next to it and i saw this woman clearly she was like on something but she was she looked super young probably like around my age like beautiful person like someone i could be like friends with and like she's
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
she looked just like me she was super young and hot no just like she it was just sad like clearly this was like i don't know but she was like walking in the alley and just like laughing and like smiling herself and then i think she like saw me in her window and waved up at me and i waved back that sounds like she was having a good morning no i know it was just like i thought it was like a cute friendly moment i wanted to i don't know i just like it made me sad because she's looked very young
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I feel like I've heard of this. How would they know? How would they know?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Oh my gosh. It says those with a low social credit score may face school bans for their children. That's wild.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
No, I was talking to you. I was just going to ask if you were up to anything this weekend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
No plans tonight. Tomorrow, Caitlin's having a little girl's brunch. So we're going to go over there. And then I'm babysitting tomorrow night. My old neighbors.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Wait, what did I say? How does she know so many little girls? A little girl's brunch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I don't know. I only know about... We don't know. I only know about mine. I only know about the fire sign.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Vacation, staycation, or medication? I'm ready for all three.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
We've definitely talked about that when I lived in the office. I think that was like one of my first few weeks. I'm like, why is this kid sleeping at the office?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Lauren did not like that segment. Lauren, do one. Try one. Frunch. Oh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Why didn't you say all right? No, no, no. I'm sorry. Keep going.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Why? We'll cut it. Wait, I didn't say anything bad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I don't know what that means. Am I supposed to know what that means? Why are you making me freak out?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
i was thinking of the word french and then i was like how do i change it oh okay i guess i can see how you got there yeah oh my god yeah you're gonna be fine i've never heard of that in my life wow lauren's got the f pass good lord lauren I don't know. I didn't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I was like, what? No, you guys are fucking with me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I'm going to steal. I don't remember her name, but I'm stealing the babysitter's personality from the movie The Babysitter because she takes the kids on a wild adventure and I am watching children.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Yikes. All birds. No, I don't think I would at all.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I feel like you kind of got them back by wearing those pants. Thank you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
That's sad. Will, you have such interesting lore. Thank you. Like just so many wild stories.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
No, you don't know all my lore because I don't remember any of it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Always drinking. Blacked out. Blacked out. Hitting... No, I just... Using head for shotgun. Genuinely, my memory, I just... I don't know. I don't remember many things for some reason, which is, like, really sad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
3,000 Action-Filialen in Europe and we celebrate with extremely low prices. For example, our Superfin Waschmittelpots, 18 pieces, only 2,99. And our Spectrum Sprühfarbe for perfect coverage, only 2,33. For even more extremely low prices, visit our Filialen or check out the Action app. Small prices, great fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i almost experienced korean fan death
Gut Gucci Flip Flops. Fuck it, hit your bitch in my sock. This a big watch. Diamonds dripping off of the clock. Two to six out. Winner's time. Drop in the sock. Give it to they pussy ass. Turn this shit up a notch. Gucci Flip Flops.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
discovering a NEW bug w/ will angus
It literally felt like that. Went back to his own dimension.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
discovering a NEW bug w/ will angus
Great. Great. Sam Moon's voice by recreating his mouth and vocal cords with a 3D printer. It allowed them to produce a single sound.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
kebab fever destroyed my relationship
Baby, do I look like I'm getting heavier?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
I'm in R&D. Every day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Willy ist in R&D, wie ein Schmuck, überall. That was a good pull. Great game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
You're just so pretty.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Yeah, there's an Uber person in the middle. Guy called middle and you just gotta lean across.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Das macht es einfach.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Weißt du, was ich meine?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Ich weiß nicht, ob alle genug Spaß hatten. Sie konnten nicht alle ihre ganze Geschichte erzählen. Sie konnten nicht genug Drafts erzählen. Ich glaube, alle fliegen all diese Wege, um anzusehen. Und sie haben sie nicht erzählt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
I need to start taking drugs. You're smoking crack. I really think you smoke crack.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
That's kind of why I'm a little... Wait, that was like a kindergarten teacher being like, finish your story and then you can go check.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
If you're gonna hit the king, you better kill the king. I was more interested in this other girl. But I could have just said that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Und ich dachte mir, egal, Bruder.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Er war wie Frankensteins Monster. Ich habe es geschafft. Endlich.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Schau auf meine Kreation.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
You got Einstein, you fucking nerd. You nerd dweeb dork.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Was ist da los? Ich bin so gespannt, ob wir Lauren sehen können.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Es ist wie Steine aus seinen Beinen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Ich verstehe es. Was hast du gesagt? Oh, ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Oh, I actually called something gay this morning. Jesus, man. No, no, no. Hear me out. It was something that's literally gay, and I didn't explain that. So Flan got me these Carhartt shorts. I'm very excited about them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
If they're too long, you can just cuff them once. And I was like, I don't know. That's kind of gay. Because the only guys I know that do that are gay. And she was like, what? You can't say that. I'm like, no, that's literally gay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I can do whatever I want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Give them nowhere to live. Your point was we need more apartments. When?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
What do they do in Europe, Willie? They go to fucking town on each other. If you and I were born in Poland, we would be fucking airtight on each other's hoses right now, man. You'd be giving me a mind-numbing homer. I'd be giving you a fucking mind-boggling homer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
At this moment, we are 30th in the world. Number 30 in podcasting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
impeccable yeah sounds like she's got yeah sounds to me like sounds to me like she's got another she only spent $15,000 no I know she works like part-time at like other places got it pretty important detail yeah I was like wait that's insane
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Also, if you could only spend $15,000 a year, you'd just be on unemployment or disability or something, and she'd be fine for the rest of her life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Winter sounds sick. Winter here sounds fucking awesome. That's hysterical.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
All right, we have a beautiful episode today. We're going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches, and then we are going to do everyone's favorite segment, Teach Me Something, followed by This Guy Rocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Oh, hey! All the way from Spain. It smells like tapas. And then we're going to do a one-man show over there. We're going to do Lana Del Rey songs that don't exist. And we will give credit to whoever it was. I think it was one of my favorite ideas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Oh, what? There is no part of... There is absolutely no part of me, after having seven beers, that is like, I could still... I could maybe... Yeah, that's crazy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
For legal... For all reasons, if you have had seven beers, there is... Which I think he is right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
If you're going to drink and drive, I'd rather you do it in the safety of this bar. Jesus Christ.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yes. Okay, Patrick, have you considered maybe... All right, next pitch. There's a guy out there that could... A key swallower? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Wait, can I just say one more thing? Yeah. The One Tree Hill theme song is the greatest theme song of all time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Well, that means the first one's approved.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
But it's like you have them on the... You clearly have them on the phone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
All right, who's ready for Teach Me Something?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
But, like, here's my theory, Willie. Yeah. He wins this air guitar competition.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Did you see him? Did you see him? Wait, pause it, pause it, pause it. Pause it. He almost said it and he flinched like someone was going to hit him. Yeah, right here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
That's hysterical. Hey, man. All the comments were like, nah, dude. Wait, go to the comments.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Bro, flinch. Don't blame you. This shit fire. His face when he said it. Oh, he did say it? He didn't say it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yeah, that's what they were like. Those are the only lyrics he knows.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Born in the depression. It's about her being very sad and simultaneously dating a 95-year-old man. Cold eyes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Quiet. He's on a roll. That sounds like something we read. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Oh, the other Isaiah Thomas. The Pistons? No, no, no. The Celtics.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how we became the bad boys of podcasting
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
And I'd like you to get the fuck out of here. Get out of here! Get out of my room!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I feel like he was cuter than I remember. I mean, he... You're thinking of Creature.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I meant to say... I am Creature. I meant to say I remember him being cuter than he looks in these photos.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Oh, it says, throughout the scene, Harry was propelled through the air as a result of an explosion. Cable was supposed to pull him. Oh, it propelled him with too much force and he crashed into a wall. He will never move his body from the waist down again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I actually haven't talked to an elderly person in a long time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
You guys should go to Apple Pan. It's apparently... It's a very famous restaurant. I don't know exactly where you'd describe it as. I guess like Century... It's near Century City, but it's been there for a very long time. They have apparently the best tuna melt in LA.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
sharting his little brains out you guys were you guys talking all that um no but i just thought i remembered something funny oh when he was when he was telling the story about being in a text argument with someone and playing words with friends yeah back and forth between it reminded me of when me and my ex were breaking up and we were like passing the vape back and forth
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Yeah. Oh, Will, also, you're actually not going to believe this. Guess who I saw?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I literally did. No, you did not. No, I'm not kidding you. I'm not kidding you because I would not have known what he looked like. And then I had to look it up because I was like, you guys were just talking about him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
You saw him at Groundworks? At Groundworks. What did he order? And I never go there. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Because we've been talking about him and looking him up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
If we haven't been talking about him, I would not know. But I had to look it up and be like, oh my God.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
You got 3,000. I mean, it makes sense now knowing that he lives in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I feel like that happens when you start to talk about them. It's like now it's ingrained. It's in my head.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
You actually believed me, though. Nobody 3,000s. You got 3,000s.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I was pretty good. Ah! Wait, so is yours real? Yeah. I should have expected. No, I saw. I saw. I still actually don't.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Okay, I think a playmate saw him though in Silver Lake.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Owning a restaurant would be so fulfilling. Obviously, such hard work.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Dude, I agree with you. I actually think that's why I miss waitressing sometimes. I was a server for three years and I enjoyed just actually getting a... I understand what you mean.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I remember I had such a crazy panic attack at one of my shifts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
When I was back home in Cleveland after... Cleveland!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
So I was actually a server at a country club for a couple summers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
um that was fine i feel like i've talked about that before i don't remember but anyway at this restaurant i was it was already so busy it was like a saturday night i was already feeling kind of anxious i don't know why and i'm in the kitchen like this place was just a shit show like i'm sure you worked at some places whereas just like the management was you know the management was just very poor at this place
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
And I walk out. I'm already on my last, like, I'm about to be sent over the edge. And I walk out, and someone's like, oh, you have that tent top. It's like a homecoming dance. A bunch of 17-year-olds. I'm like freaking out. They're all grinding. No, it was bad. And then I just go in the back, and I just had a meltdown. Someone had to take over all my tables.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
But I was uncontrollably, like, it was not work-related at that point.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Okay, I had, like, two other tables, and they were basically done, but someone else had to take that party, and I was like... I, like, couldn't.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
random pivot question it's almost February which gets me thinking about Valentine's Day well not in like a great yeah you guys want to do Valentine's Day great I bet you two want to fucking talk about Valentine's Day don't you no not even in that sense I just want to know if you've ever had like a funny Valentine's Day experience
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Aww. Wait, should we do another Will's dating life check-in?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
People actually really... Wait, have we done those? No, just like last time... Last time we had that... You were giving him advice and having a deep talk. A lot of people in the comments were like, that was actually really sweet. Oh. So I think they just like when we have real talks sometimes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
You also don't even have to have a dating life. It's just something to say.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I think you just have to phase them out and not really be responsive and text. That's kind of what I'm doing right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
You gotta start pre-gaming. Hey, when me and Mia move into our new place, we're gonna have a little party and then maybe you can meet the love of your life. The love of my life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I would rather put my money towards, like, traveling.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
You might get shot. Will, were you a country club family?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Jack, that's the difference between you and me. I worked at a country club and you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I would leave babysitting with 100 bucks and I was like, holy. It was crazy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I feel like that's a great use of your money at a young age.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
That is fun. I've never been a matchmaker like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I saw that the other day too, but I was going east on the 10.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
When was the Chicago Fire? I feel like I should know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
charleston never had a grape fire um the grape fire of wait 1812 you saying how you've thought you wanted to be a fireman i used to want to be an fbi agent i always thought that seemed sick yeah but then you got like you started smoking ganja yeah what is that joke why does everyone say that they were also saying you were doing there i don't even remember what this was in reference to a lot of the comments from last year
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I know that's what they do for Emily. So there's bringing that over to, you know, Emily did blackface at the end of the episode again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Well, I actually did better at Secret. Oh, you guys, we played Ohio State won. Woo! So actually our outfits did age well, which is great in the last episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
No, what I was going to say is that I feel like I did better at that than I thought I was. I thought I was going to make a fool of myself.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Yeah. You can't actually... You can't swear on your mother.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I was so confused. Well, Ty accidentally took it home.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
That's hilarious to me. Why do you even log that? Why do you even log your drinks?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
If you guys are listening, comment down below how your Monday's going.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Baseball segment. Where we go outside and we bring all the cameras outside.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
All righty. First pitch is from Greg Biscaduros. attaboy greg biscuit that's what i'm calling him he says greg says what's up legend in the hidden temples like indiana jones that's awesome what is the worst part of being in charge of the tv
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Yeah. Putting on something that you think everyone would like, but everyone clearly isn't vibing. Introducing a new streaming service called Vibe Change. If you can tell everyone is on their phones, at the push of a hidden button on the remote, the TV will discreetly and seamlessly change from whatever you put on to a random Survivor episode, Pirates of the Caribbean. Nice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
mid-2010s bowl game highlights or a documentary on a government cover-up depending on the room's vibe i am the first the first streaming service to ensure everyone's going to walk away thinking wow that guy killed it running the tv tonight yeah that's awesome done sold 100 bang i would like a thousand dollar investment and i would like it's asap bing bong
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
All right. Thank you, Greg. Next pitch is from Sarah Elizabeth Grace. Sarah says... It's like an actress name.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
All right. She says this is her first pitch. She's a first time pitcher. Have you ever seen a coffee or cafe drink that looks literally delicious in a TikTok or real? They always ask, would you try? And I always think, yeah, but I don't want all 12 ounces. My pitch is coffee shots. Working title.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
It's a shot sized amount of weird coffee drinks like an orange, an orange juice latte or lavender Americano. That way you can try a new flavor and choose to order more. You guys are great. Wednesday is my favorite day of the week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I love orange juice, so I actually think I would like this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I think she kept it a little vague. That could work. I think they do have pods. At a coffee shop would be awesome though. You get it like a, it's a, what do you call it? A flight? Coffee flights.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I love that. That's awesome. Pretty good, right? Yeah, that's really good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Thank you. I don't even remember it. No, I actually don't like it because that's rude. Just sometimes... Remember what you're trying to work on this year? Stop walking away from people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Completely disagree. I love milk. You drink milk? I love milk. I buy 2% milk and I drink it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Okay. I like that, except you obviously have to refrigerate the milk. I don't want the cereal to be cold.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Yeah, but I want it to be room temp. I don't think that matters. I don't think you would notice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
We'd all be mutants. Kind of an unrelated question. What would you recommend someone like me who has never really been very interested in history but wants to get better? How would you recommend that I learn?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I had horrible classes all growing up. They made it so boring.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I was just going to ask another question. Yeah. How do you guys feel about bats?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Let me... I'm trying to find... Sweet Life by Phoebe Bridgers. Yeah, that was awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Those were good. I think those were some of your best. Thank you. I love. Well, yours were good too. I just... No, they were great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
So I'm moving on Saturday. When this comes out, I'm moving on Saturday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
February 1st. I don't know. Whose personality should I steal?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Damn, 70. All right, what about a 74-year-old? Meryl Streep. Yeah, why is that the only name that I can... Oh, wait. Oh, my gosh. Really? She's next week. Martin Short.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Okay. He's like 100. What's his name again? De Niro?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
I want to steal Scrooge's personality. Yeah, I like that. Okay, wait. I'm going to steal Barbie's personality.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Because I'm about to decorate my Barbie dream house this weekend and make a very cute new apartment. And I'm excited to get new decorations, a new rug, new couch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Yeah. Yes. I think we need a better, we need an updated new cute photo of us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Same way where at recess you would do like backflips off the swings. Would you guys not do that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Yeah, you're like fully in the air. I would never do that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
Well, sorry for the audio listeners. Yeah, for the audio listeners, that was a deep dive into my Instagram.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
It was a bundle. Turns out they're all on Disney+. Yeah, you have Disney+. Yeah, nice. Apparently. The amount of... I canceled... I couldn't figure out a way to figure out what I was subscribed to. Yeah. So I canceled my debit card and started a new one. And I'm learning that I had a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
what are we doing like we got like a little bit more sober and like kind of realized how stupid it was tied well you might have been the first guys to tie until the sun come up no i know but it was like it's just like it was no reason we should have been doing that so this place was open all night no we had a golf similar in our house we were in this sick like airbnb that was like called birdie house
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
but the but now i only have the ones i want like i was paying for like peacock who i had like basically every single one at some point because i think i started all the free trials yeah yeah i'm getting charged the only thing i'm still getting charged for that i can't figure out how to cancel is door dash which i don't even have a door dash account so it's 10 bucks a month can i can i use your disney let's go you got the no ads i got the one with the ads
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I kind of like ads because then I look at my phone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
All I'm saying, Lauren. Really, really perverse way of thinking, but yeah. If you want to stream with no ads between the two of us, you know who to call. You know who to call.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Man, you know I've been a fan since day one. Honestly, I love all the flavors. But let me say this. It also has no carbs, no chemical preservatives, no artificial flavors, and no sugar. And now you can get it $4 off on Amazon. Go stock up now. This stuff is the Trezuth.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Yeah, I did. I drank one the morning of the race.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
So go to Amazon and use code four bucks off. i'm sorry that was not cool wait sorry i was it's fine it's just you guys get to talk about all the um crazy like workout stuff that you guys drink it before and feels like you're just kind of like ostracizing me for maybe not being as fit as you guys ostracized they make an ostracized accelerator Sorry, I tuned out to everything else you said.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
It's huge. Guys, go get it on Amazon today. We will see you guys later. Coming four bucks off. Hey, I did my big race.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Did your friends go? Yeah. Well, none of them went to the race part of it, but they all came and met me after. We had a barbecue after. Yay. So all that shit Carolina was texting with you secretly about making a sign or whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And then she just didn't fucking go. In their defense, if it was reverse psychiatry, it worked. Because... Reverse psychiatry? Yeah, it's in the office. And the... I kept thinking, like, my friends are about to see me, so I got to, like, keep it together, like, keep looking, like, stay strong, like, can't be, like, falling, you know, falling apart when they see me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And all the way until, like, the last mile, I was like, oh, they're not here. Yeah. No, but not not in a bad like I don't I literally specifically text them like do not I might I started at 725 a.m.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
and uh they have like a simulator buddy oh is it yeah they have like a like a green on the in the yard too it's actually it was cool but then we woke up and we were driving to the airport it was kind of that same hungover when you and i went to epcot the first time where everything was like really really really funny and then we got to the airport and it literally in like the blink of an eye it wasn't funny anymore i was in pain
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
So it's like and I was in Brooklyn and they're on Manhattan so it would have been but my fit my mom and and sister were there at like They like had my mom had mapped out this perfect route where they saw me at mile three mile four mile seven That's awesome. And then my dad was there right at the finish line, which is really cool Did you see that picture? That was really cute. Isn't that so cool?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
My brother got a picture of my dad high-fiving me. Oh, that's adorable. Right as I was about to cross the finish line.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Did you feel like an 8.30 pace? That's awesome. Did you feel like he was robbing you of your special moment there?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I was joking. There's one video, though, where this woman's about to win an Ironman or a triathlon or whatever. Yeah. And her husband brought her kids out, like, 30 yards from the finish line. It's, like, a tight race. Like, she has to, like, keep going. Yeah. And she obviously, like, runs past the kids.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
To, like, finish her race. And all the comments were, like, he's trying to steal her moment. Which he, like, kind of was. It was, like, super – he, like, put the kids on the course being, like, hug mommy, hug mommy. And it was, like, no, she's about to, like –
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
win an iron yeah she just decks one of them you know what they should do the marathons should offer a service for uh friends who like to sleep in where you can pay and they'll put a cardboard cut out of you holding up the sign of your choice at the or like from like covid baseball here's an idea um you can submit
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
sorry it was like uh it was like a lot of like i put i was very emo skewing playlists like uh a lot of modern baseball and shit and then some like two chains on there just trying to keep two chains famously emo no no i was saying emo and then two chains i got and then what was your what song was playing when you ran across the uh oh fuck that's a good question i think i might have stopped it for the very end actually
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Or no, it was a soak in the moment. No, no, no. It was, uh, it was actually dancing in the club by MJ Lenderman, which is not a hype song at all, but it was, it hit like right in the last like sprint. Um, I remember door swinging by two chains hit like two miles to go when I like needed it most. And I was like, can't forget how fucking had the door swing. And it fired me up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Well, you're trying to like tell, you're trying to tell MJ Lenderman that you finished your marathon to his song.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Well, it was funny that two days later I was at his show and he played that song. It was kind of cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
No. Well, there was a pace guy. oh they hold the signs right yeah and they run like the exact pace so that you don't have to like look at your because i put my phone i didn't look at my phone the whole time the venice half guys that are like really good runners and they'll run at a very specific pace and hold the sign up for the whole thing or they yeah That's sick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I'm assuming they could run faster than that, but they're well-trained enough to run it. There was a guy with a 155 pace card. I, of course, had to pee right at the start, so I missed the start. It doesn't count until you cross the start for your own time, but I missed where my corral was supposed to start, so I ended up starting with a slower group. I was kind of weaving.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
At some point, I caught up to the 155 pace guy. I just wanted to be under two hours, so I was like, I obviously want to beat this guy, but as long as I can see that guy, I'll be happy. So I kind of was staying with that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I don't even think this is the right way to do it, but he would pass me a little, and I'd be like, no, no, and then I would just book it for a couple minutes, and then be like, oh, fuck, and I'd kind of slow down, and then he'd creep up on me, and then I'd go fast. I was doing these really inconsistent...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
uh but i got there he ended up passing me at the end and then it turned out i must have started way after him because i was 152 even though he beat me so that's sick i told willie this story i already learned but my dad lived with lived in manhattan beach after college and the la marathon was coming up and his buddy this like guy from i think new zealand or australia whatever like one of those like crazy athletes
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
whatever was like, I think I'm going to run the marathon. They were like, you don't, you know, more power to you. But like he, he ran like a little bit every morning. He would run like five miles every morning, but apparently he hadn't gone for like a long one or whatever. So they're like, all right, we're going to go watch him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And after like a couple of miles, he's like in the top, like a hundred people. Like he's flying.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
they're like oh my god so they like go up and they keep seeing him every like handful of miles whatever and then they lost him he couldn't they couldn't get close enough to the uh like finish line because my dad was just like driving and then like getting out and like running next to the thing whatever and so they go home they're like we didn't see him we did never saw him finish whatever yeah they go home he shows up at like midnight
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
and so bobby and i went and got a couple beers and that made me feel like a little bit better which is always like it's the wrong line of thinking yeah it's a it's a temporary solution to a pretty permanent problem um Because once those wear off, then I was where I was before times a million. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was checking the upgrade. There were nine available first class seats.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And they were like, hey, man, how'd the race go? And he was like, I was in the – he got sent to the emergency room. Apparently what happened was he was in the top like 75 towards the end and apparently like 50 yards from the finish line collapsed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
and uh oh my god he like wasn't even like he was a guy's tried to apparently guys tried to like pick him up and we're gonna like help him but he was like totally unconscious so they took him to the hospital he like almost finished his first marathon like really well and then just collapsed at the race i was like oh my god like a few minutes ahead of me fuck yeah got 31 year old dude dropped dead
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And then another guy got like CPR at the finish line. It was like a really, it was like 100% humidity when the race started, which I don't think anyone is like prepared for. So it was like, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
It was like a heart thing. Like it was a freak. He looks like he... Like, from the pictures I saw online, like, he looks, like, in shape, too. Like, I don't think... There's no way that it, like, running eight miles killed him. I think he just had, like, some sort of, yeah, freak.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
No. I had done, like, 11. Okay. But I kind of did. I... When I did 11, I was like, I probably could, but I kind of wanted the first time I did it to be... You wanted your first time to be special, man. Yeah, exactly. But I do... Yeah, it does make me feel... Everyone... My brother's like... He's big into the running scene in New York. He fucking ran... What was Sam's pace?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Yeah, he's fucking... And that wasn't even his best. He's done better. Uh, but he was saying that like all the people in the running community too, like we're saying that like everyone, no one PR like it was like a really, it was hard, tough conditions that day. So that makes me feel even better.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
What if you, what if you got to the finish line and the, the guy getting, the person giving CPR was like really hot. So you like fake, like fake. Yeah. I need mouth to mouth. You're like, whenever you're done with him, I'm also, um, But, dude, I, like, I was totally fine after the race. Went and met my family at a bar. Had, like, a couple beers. Oh, it probably tasted so good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Kind of, except I was like, I don't, like. Fuck. Lauren is not excited. Oh, beers. Oh, this probably tasted. You probably. Oh, my God. You probably felt so good. Like, all the voices in your head quieted down. You finally felt like yourself.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
anyway but anyway then we like take the subway into prospect park we're having like a picnic with my family and i invited all my friends and stuff and like the moment we're on the train it's like three four hours after i'd finished because i had to wait for my cousins and stuff and uh I'm on the train, and I'm like, my tummy's really not feeling good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
By the time I get to the park and we set up for this picnic, I'm like, oh, my God, my stomach hurts so bad. Like, I go to the bathroom. I crap my brains out. I puke. I'm laying on the ground, writhing in pain. And, like, all my friends show up. They're like, Will, congrats. Like, how are you? I was like, oh, good. Good to see you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
So the whole barbecue with all my – like my aunt and uncle came from Philly. Like my uncle came in from Manhattan. I mean not just for me. My brother and my cousin had run it too. But it was like all these people were here and I like was just laying on the floor the entire time riding around. I put a picture of it right here. Carolina sent me a picture. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
My buddy from high school I never get to see came and I was like, oh, it's so good to see you, man. Thank you so much for coming. So it was kind of embarrassing, actually, that part, but I think it was... I googled it and they call it runner's stomach.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
i think it's because i i think it's just like like very toned abs yeah i think it's because i drank and ate during the run way more than i did in any of my training during the run i think i might have like over yeah like i stopped for lunch because when i yeah because like when i go on my runs i don't bring anything with me and i just go and then you have to eat those little chewies i don't like i i had never done that in any of my training but then at the race they had they were like giving them out and they had water stations like every mile or so and so i was just like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
hell yeah i'll take what when it was like it was like uh like when you see a little table snack like an hors d'oeuvre what are we working with it's like at costco when people go in like different outfits to just get samples again you're like running in laps getting completely sidetracked i actually did do that one time at the gatorade station i took one at one end of the table just kept running and grabbed another at the other is it true that people pass out shots during like a marathon
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I was like, oh, perfect. I'll get one. And whatever number it was, I was one below. That's when there were nine available. I was 10, whatever. And so I was like, you know what? It's fine. I'm not going to get my hopes up. And then when I scanned my ticket, they put me in first class. So I don't know what happened. But then here's the kicker.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Alcohol? Yeah. Oh, I didn't see any. We used to give out beers. I think that might just be your friends. Yeah, I don't know if I would... We would give out beer at the Boston Marathon in college. One person would maybe take it and then just pour it on their face.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And I would also be worried if the staff was giving out alcohol. One really fun table, yeah. All right, I got to tell you this. I ran a half marathon last weekend, and we had a shoot a few days before where we were fitted by chubbies, and I got these running shorts, and I was like, oh, these are a game changer. So I wore them for the half, and they were great because they had like a lining, and
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
and there's a phone pocket on the line and the phone pocket on the lining so will didn't know about i was we were sitting on the couch yeah and i said will do you ever put your phone in there and he it blew his fucking mind because i i had been all my training i was running with just my phone in my hand and then i just put it in there and i never had to touch it and i didn't chafe i felt great uh it's nice to have like the the lining inside and then like the shorts on the outside
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
So personal endorsement, those chubby shorts. I'm not wearing them right now, but I wore them on Saturday and they felt great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Yeah. handed me like a brand that I didn't recognize, but I was like, you know, I'm Thursday. I'll, I'll have one. And when I opened it, I like couldn't tell if it was sealed or not. Like I didn't hear like the, the full crack or whatever. It's like, you know what? I'll take a sip. And then I took a sip. It tasted fine. Took, like, another sip.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And then I started feeling really lightheaded, and my eyes were doing that. But it was impossible to be like, this is from this because I had been feeling kind of like that all day because I was, like, so hungover. So I stopped it, but I was like, what a dumb way to go down if you're, like... Like, if I, like, woke up, like, kidnapped, I would be like, I shouldn't have...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I went to... It was one of those ones where it's just wide enough where you can slip in without the person in the aisle having to, like, get out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Obviously don't drink the water from the Uber driver. This is just further playing into your like Uber drivers are trying to kill me. Wait, when did I say that? You said that there was more threat of an Uber driver trying to kill you than getting in a car accident.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
yeah i think you sound like a fear of uber drivers i think um i don't know i didn't realize that i didn't i should have seen it coming that people were not gonna love that take but i didn't i didn't realize how safe the playmates were i think that's just basic totally now i see that now yeah One thing I'm going to try and do more this year is, you know, I'm not perfect.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I'm going to continue to probably have bad takes, but I'm going to try and be better about admitting when I was wrong. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you guys uncomfortable by saying I don't wear my seatbelt. I still don't.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
It was akin to the last time where we got 300 comments being like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
l l no seat belt have to wear a seat which i one thing i didn't take into consideration is that it puts the other people in the car in danger i felt like it was fine because i'm responsible for my body it was inconsiderate to not realize that apparently your body becomes a projectile and just like can take someone's head off yeah but um gonna be better about it i wear the seat belt when i'm driving i just personally when i'm in the back of the uber i like to relax a little bit yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
That's such a bad take. No, I'm admitting. I will start to wear it in Ubers because it puts him in danger. But if I'm... Actually, maybe, I don't know. I probably won't, but I'll say I will. I was in an Uber or a Waymo the other day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
waymo i'm i'm in on waymos now and uh we're going down where you know the streets where there's cars parked on both sides so if people are coming at each other you have to pull into a yeah you know an open spot like a really narrow one yeah and we're going this woman swings around like a a stop sign sees the waymo i don't think she saw that we were in it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And I feel her pain of like, I used to hate Waymos too. And so she's just fucking not moving.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And then we're like leaning in being like, dude, go like pull in here. And she wouldn't. Drove around and started honking at the Waymo. And then the Waymo just backed. It had to back up like 40 yards so that she could go around. And we were like, that's like. It's just very frustrating. I used to fuck with Waymos if there's no one in there. We've all done it. Honking at a Waymo is funny. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I was trying to let a guy cross the street today and he just would not, you would not put himself in the mix. Like he was kind of hiding behind a car. So the other oncoming traffic stuff, like cars didn't see him. And I was trying to, I was looking at him like, dude, you gotta just, you gotta take one step into the crosswalk so that they see you. And then cars behind me started going around me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And so I lost like five pole positions because this guy wouldn't fucking put himself in the mix. drive that drives me sick oh i wrote some things down let me look at my please mdw let's see what i got well we're hanging out this weekend right you guys aren't gonna bail yeah my friends are on friday right yeah is that tomorrow friday friday do you guys want to go to gaslight this weekend
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
You can't just escalate it like that. That's what I heard. She was far from... She wasn't at her house. Whatever. Unless you're just guessing. I made a face like, oh, do you guys smell that? It wasn't me before you could smell it. And then there wasn't a smell. So I just looked nuts to her.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
What is that? Is it fun? We should get there early so we can actually sing. It's impossible to get on. It's one stage. Once it's night. Is that tomorrow or is that Saturday? It's open every night. Lauren had texted Friday, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
This woman fosters rescue dogs. Yeah. Someone, some rat bastard. I don't know what happened, but he's very skittish around people. Mm-hmm. Clearly it was abused or something. It was really sad. But she's documenting his progress as he gets more friendly. And now he sits in her lap. Now he plays with the other dog. And her whole thing is she fosters him and then gets him into a good home.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
But I think people are very upset because... They're like, oh, you're just bonding with him now. You should just keep him. So should we keep him?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Can I tell you what I was going to say? I got two TV nightmares. Ooh, come on. TV. Say it with me. TV nightmares. TV nightmares. This is our TV nightmares segment. uh no okay on monday monday monday i'm in uh oh oh before i did the i did the thing where they put the headphones on and they say what song is this for five bucks what name did you really when i was in new york
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
oh did you just run into him or you know i like know that i we i remember you prefacing this yeah yeah we preface we've had uh some dialogue and i just wanted he had said whenever you're in new york come check out the office and so i went and checked out their office and then he was like you want to do track star and i was like yeah did you get it i did pretty good yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
i'm pretty does he he tailors it like towards you he does like we've been talking about music and i told him some of my favorite artists and like yeah so he there were definitely i think you know if if the first one was wrong it wouldn't be that much of a show so i think he kind of and then he kind of pushes you a little bit more um but it was very it was it was cool i love those so you're gonna be in a video yeah like one of those on the on youtube
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I guess they're on YouTube too. They're on Instagram and TikTok. He puts the headphones on you and he's like whips. Anyway. TV Nightmares. Monday. We're in Pinehurst, North Carolina. We're at the Pinehurst Brewing Company. Actually it was on Sunday night maybe. We get to this bar. The Mets are on. They're playing the Red Sox. Or no, they're putting the Yankees that night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
No, it's the last game of the Subway Series. The Mets are playing the Yankees Sunday night. We're at this bar in North Carolina, and we get seated, and I ask them if they can put the game on. For the record, there are a hundred TVs. A lot of TVs. There was a NASCAR race that was like 50 laps in. I was like, do you mind putting the Mets game? It was on Sunday Night Baseball.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
So they put it on for me. I'm watching. Then I guess the guys at the table next to us, which is this big group of like... ne'er-do-wells uh they asked were they ne'er-do-wells I don't even remember what they were they were just like like fat old dads okay and uh And they asked to put on the NASCAR race again, I guess. So then their waiter then switched it back to the NASCAR race.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And I was like, I just changed it. And when it switches to the net, and they weren't watching the NASCAR race at all. They just saw that I'd put the Mets game on. Hey, Will, one second.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
He's trying to watch NASCAR. He's driving around the track.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And I was there, so this story's more for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
What were you texting? Were you on IG Reels? No. Were you texting Simone?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Who's Simone? She won't talk about it on the pod, but... Continue. Glad he kept your cool there, Lord. There's a guy named Simon?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
That's now way more interesting than my story. No, this is a great story, Lauren. Just listen. I am.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
leg up like this like a loud fart came out but we were up in the air so I don't think she heard it but it was like just the nightmare of getting sat next to me you were crop dusting her it's fine dude it happens we're guys we crop dust How was MJ Linderman? MJ Linderman.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
So I put the Mets game on, and these guys who aren't even watching the NASCAR immediately are like, can we switch it back to NASCAR? And they're a waiter. And the moment it switches back to the NASCAR, they all go like, yeah, yeah. And I look over, and they're looking at me. I literally think they were just like, fuck you. We're in the South or something. And guess what they do?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Just to rub it in, they just all get up and leave. They switch back to the NASCAR and go, woo! And they all get up and walk out. Yeah. And our waiter came over and I was like, what just happened? He was like, I honestly think they were just trying to fuck with you. And so he put the Mets game back on. It was also our waiter's third shift. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And he was like... I wouldn't have known that he... Yeah, he did a great job. He did a great job. He was nervous. He kept being like, it's my third day. I don't know if they have to change it. And like... I just put it on. It was such a dick move. They literally just did that to fuck with me. I don't even know why. Why is watching baseball dumb? I think that they were in Pinehurst, North Carolina.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
We can't watch a Mets game. I think that you represent everything that they despise down there. They don't even know that, though. As far as they know, you're from the big city. I was wearing a Tigers hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
The Braves? The Braves, yeah. 98 Braves. That's the funniest song of all time. You hear that one? 98 Braves by Morgan Wallen? No. It's like, if we were a team and love was a game, we'd be the 98 Braves. And then he's got a part where he's like, I hit a long one towards the outfield, but it came up short with you. It's all baseball metaphors. It's really, it's very funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Anyway, there was like one more, he had to fill like one more slot on the album and They're at a baseball game. He's like, I'm... It literally is like, you struck me out with your heart and I got on first and stole second and we made it to third base. I stole third. I'm like, what does that mean? That doesn't sound good. Forced third. Anyway, the... Stop. Why do you go on your phone?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Okay, this is what I will say. I don't really care that much, but it is like when you're telling a story and I look over there and you're not looking, then it kind of sometimes throws me off. But I'm being judged being honest.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
What was the last word? Love. Nuts. Te amo.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
He's texting Simone Bolivar over there. Who's that? He's like a revolutionary from Columbia. Oh, oh, oh. Second TV nightmare. What time is it even over there? It's like four in the morning over there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Okay, Cameron sounds... Red Wings jersey, runs with Ferris. Yeah, I know him. Okay. Shut up. He runs with Ferris. Yesterday... That crowd he's running with. Yesterday was a dual-wheeled Survivor finale and Knicks game. Okay. Happening. While I'm on the plane from Charlotte to Salt Lake City and then Salt Lake City to LAX. And I am watching. You said in first class? I did. I was. Thank you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Everyone thinks Will... Well, I don't make up my whole fucking thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Yeah, my family friend Debra Linder gave this to me. Shout out Debra. Shout out Debra Linder. Is she a Tigers fan? Yeah, she lives in Ann Arbor. And then I got this shirt at the concert. But how about this? We're in North Carolina, and that's the second to last night. We're like two hours from Charlotte, but I just happened to be looking at the app Songkick, and it matches your Spotify.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
He's eating it off of his hand like a true... Oh, no. I'm eating caviar off a hooker's ball. Is that what you guys want to hear?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Obviously, it was Salt Lake City. What else am I going to do? Damn. Anyway, I land in Salt Lake City. I have eight minutes before the boarding doors close on my other flight. And it's going into the final tribal. Had some outages on the first leg, so I missed some of the dialogue, but I kind of watched most of it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
So I book it through the airport, get onto the next plane, immediately start up Survivor, and they are getting ready. They're, like, finishing up final tribal council and getting ready to read the votes. And right as they go to read the votes, Delta safety presentation. Like, clockwork. All right, thank you for flying Delta Airlines. The new one's like four fucking minutes long, too.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
It's the 100th anniversary of Delta. To celebrate this, I'm like, who won?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And you're like, all right, we don't need this whole fucking song and dance. And then when it comes back, it was the reunion. So I missed the whole reveal of who won. I mean, I figured out. It comes back and Probst is like, craziest tribal ever. Yeah, thankfully. It airs later on the West Coast, so I got in, Ubered home, and Scott was watching it, so I got to re-watch it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
But after that happens, then I switch over to the next game, which was in the final minutes. That was a brutal ending. And we got one of those fucking stand-up comedian flight attendants. And when it pops up, you can still kind of watch the game, but it puts a box in the middle that says, like, PA in progress.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And it's right on Jalen Brunson in like the last possession. And so I'm like, I was so fucking awful. And then, of course, the Knicks ended up losing that game too. It made it that much worse. That shot at the end was legitimately one of the craziest shots. Ridiculous. Ridiculous.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
To your Indiana Pacers. You want us to explain this in like girl terms? No, just... Okay, so... Is this... Blair Waldorf and Serena Vanderwoodson are... You ever seen the field hockey episode of Gossip Girl? No. Okay. Have you ever seen... Okay, you ever seen like Queer Eye? No. Have you ever seen a Nets game? It's just like that. No. A Bulls game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
No, this is game one of the conference finals. The winner of this series goes to the championship.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Like the other... Oklahoma City and Minnesota. Okay. There's a... I will say I'm very happy that we have like kind of a ragtag Final Four here because it's like more fun to watch. But the like two... How do I say this?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
like, flopping from these teams than there would be, like, on the other side. Flopping? Like, SGA is, like, they call him, like, the free throw merchant because he just, like, falls down and then hits, like, a crazy shot and they, like, aren't fouling him. So he had, like, 15 free throw attempts. Oh, I was going to say, they were letting him play last night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I think they probably got, like... Dylan Brunson got clocked in the throat and they didn't call it. Oh, maybe that was a different one. There was one where he grabbed someone's arm and hit him...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
What are you doing? Wait, that's the... Do you think the problem is that we want to know what you're doing on your phone?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Basically, what we're saying is it's fine. Jalen Brunson was getting fouled left and right. They were letting him play. I actually saw an article on ESPN this morning that was like, are the refs letting him play too much? I'm not even kidding. I think people are really letting him do some shit. Maybe not Shea. I haven't watched the Western Conference at all.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It sounds like an ad read. But anyway, so I opened it up. It matches your Spotify to concerts near where you are. So you open it up, and it'll just tell you if an artist you listen to a lot is in a city near you. That's a brilliant idea. And so I opened it up, and it said MJ Lenderman today. And I was like, oh, fuck, I missed it. And then I realized it was 1251. So I was like, huh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Willie, break it down in girl terms for the... Indiana Fever are playing the New York Liberty, and Sabrina Ionescu is getting clocked in the throat by Caitlin Clark and Sophie Cunningham.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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But you can do it tomorrow. What do you mean? Okay. Lamar Jackson. Sure. Lauren, whatever happened to you? You used to Google this shit. This looks disgusting. You haven't typed in a word. Lauren's got some sort of gruel. She's eating gruel again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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But she is goaded. She's a three-point goat. And she's clutch. Clutch player of the year. So she's fighting through it. But then at the end, Caitlin Clark hits a buzzer beater.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And Lexi Hull hits six threes in the last quarter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
She's on Phoenix. She's still in the league? Yeah, and she wears like crazy long shorts. She wears like capris. Woo, I love capris. Aaron Neesmith, fun fact, he was like going off last night. Same age as me from Charleston. What could it be? We have some mutual friends. Kind of cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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what broke all the roadmap yeah i'm gross sus lauren vented lauren's venting all right yeah can i just go pee real quick i have to pee as well We just got our new Ridge wallets. Here's my thing with wallets. The big ones you have to like put in your back pocket. Unless you want to be like Mr. Big pockets in the front. Here's my thing with the Ridge wallet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I put it in the same pocket as my phone because it's so, so I have keys and whatever else I'm putting in the left one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It doesn't feel like I'm like digging around for stuff. And then look at this. Watch how cool it is when I pop my card out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
bink that was kind of cash speaking of cash it's got a strap right here for your cash as usual i have none on me ridge wallets are ultra slim effortlessly sleek and surprisingly spacious it holds up to 12 cards plus cash all without turning your pockets into a lumpy mess which was will's nickname in college it slips right into your front pocket and practically disappears
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Ridge is so confident in their quality, they offer a lifetime warranty. It's literally the last wallet you will ever buy. Also, losing your wallet, something I do a lot. Ridge has an AirTag attachment, so you'll always know exactly where it is before panic mode kicks in. And right now, Ridge is having their huge Memorial Day sale. That's 40% off at ridge.com slash playdate.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Just head to ridge.com slash playdate to see their biggest sale of the year. And after you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please do us a solid. Support our show and tell them that we sent you. We love you guys. Let's get back into the episode. Roadmap. We have a beautiful episode for you guys today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
So after our last shoot yesterday, I had to take a two-hour Uber. It cost $150 to Charlotte.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
He had the Hershey squirts all over the couch. I had the Hershey squirts all over the public restroom in Prospect Park. Do you know how much money it cost to reupholster this couch after the last time Willie's tummy hurt? It was horrible. I had the Hershey paint. It was more of a Hershey explosion. Yeah. It was like a fucking Klondike bar out of my ass.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I had a poop yesterday that literally... The structural integrity of it still makes no sense to me. It was legitimately the length of my forearm, but this thing... I might be exaggerating. Half of it disappeared down the hole, so I can't for sure say how long it was. But it was like... It was fucking shocking. Yeah. It's like how they approximate the size of a dinosaur based on one bone. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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but the ticket was only 12 so i feel like 12 i would have paid 150 for the ticket yeah yeah so i feel like it evens out and my two best friends from high school daniel and thomas live in charlotte right by the venue so they came with me to the show and we got to hang out mj my little guy not feeling very well he was he was sick he didn't sound he he was clearly dealing with something uh he was like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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it's like how you know how there's like 8 inches of you know how there's like 8 inches of penis on the inside of your body that's what it looks like it goes all the way back down to your butt that's why if you jelk you can get some of it out can you google what percentage of the penis is undetectable to the naked eye jelking goaded technique I think like each person has way more penis on the inside than
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Google baseball stats that seem too hard to believe. Half. There's more. That's half of your penis is inside your body. That's cray. Half of my penis is inside your body? So, Willie, you have like an extra like two inches of penis inside. Oh, well, I could fucking kill you right now. God, I could fucking kill you right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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What? Again, you want him to keep it all inside his body?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Maybe don't rile me up saying things like penis.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Actually. No, I believe you. I believe you. You forgot? It's just funny that you just, like, seeing your brain turn for the number every week is like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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uh you forgot to ab i know i had to go back you did last night i'm sorry about that guys i fixed the order too uh lauren fuck my fucking pitches pitch i cheat oh great lauren's having one of that ghost fort ghost fort ghost fork ghost fork you guys missed sushi yesterday yeah what was that all about thank god i hate sushi Can't even be in the same office, has it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Can't even be around people that have eaten it before. You guys haven't ever eaten it, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I think you just can't fuck a bagel. All right. Redefining, I put the cream in cream cheese. Take that out. Bleep that one. Play it twice. Play it twice. You flossing now? What are you doing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You're actually flossing? Yeah. I thought you was doing a bit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, oh, oh. Yes. You're talking about like crazy boner sex. Crazy boner sex. Have you ever had boner sex? All right. Have you had boner sex? Stop it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Powder. Puff and girl. a puffin girl put a picture of a half puffin half girl here put a oh oh all right what's the worst part about going to sporting events it's a good question uh once it's done getting out is a whole fucking getting home is a whole thing you're in the middle and you have to pee
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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hey sorry my voice isn't really there and then still played like a whole set which is honestly unbelievable that is crazy but uh it was a little low energy vibe but did you i cheered him on here for you i said i love you my favorite part was he has a line where he says the word pope and everyone cheered
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Not the asshole. Not the asshole. I love it. I wish there was a guy that could poop for you or pee for you. True. There used to be. I had an idea, too, that I just thought of during this. Maybe instead of having to have the individual, maybe there's just that in the app you could go and be like, I could go for a hot dog.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And if enough people in your section do that, then the hot dog vendor would be like, oh, high-density hot dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got a hot dog food desert over here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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you know what i mean like if enough you kind of put in what you'd want and then the vendor note can see a map of like where people are requesting the most ready yeah you you put you put i could go for a hot dog and if someone is already going to get their hot dog they'll get theirs free if they get yours oh i like that so you pay double for a hot dog i'd pay double for a hot dog to knock it out i guess if it's like a cheap hot dog yeah really
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, once this episode comes out, I could get a dozen hot dogs. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I love Taco Bell. I do too. Dude, I was TB maxing last week. I literally have gained five pounds since I got into Taco Bell. All right. It's so good. I had a steak.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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it's just like it's popes are hot right now you like turn you turn around you're like that was a big applause there's like all the cardinals behind you with the lines like every catholic knows they could have been pope and just right after it everyone's like whoa yeah come off oh they're they're like thinking like the next next go around we got a shot
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Quesadilla. I don't like the new cantina menu. When I was in New York City, after I got over all my shits and pukes and stomachs, I went out in the big city and we got a private karaoke room. And I was in there until four in the morning. Really? Yeah, it was awesome. That's fucking... And then I went to Taco Bell after and got Taco Bell.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And I ate a steak quesadilla and the sun started coming out and I had a panic attack.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I have a bone to pick with Taco Bell, actually, now that I'm thinking about it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
What's the best part about Taco Bell? It's the service. The sauces. The mild sauce from Taco Bell is my favorite condiment in the world. I still like it without it, but it elevates everything. You need the sauce. Went out of my way to order eight sauce packets or however many. And two times in a row, they just didn't put my sauce in the thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It's like most of these things require the Taco Bell sauce. I don't put sauce on anything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, the chicken quesadilla with the mild thing. All right. I have a delicate, delicate palate. Yeah. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Car path only. Some bullshit like that. Lauren?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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The rumbles. The fescue. You got to get through the rumbles. Actually, let me rephrase this. What's the worst part about getting from the green to the tee? The green to the next tee. It's boring. It's boring. Yeah, fair. It's not fun. This is a golf course where each green is connected to the tee box by a very short but very fun roller coaster. I like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So, uh, you can, you can have a blast between each hole. I think that'd be so in there, dude. What about your cart? Uh, no, the cart, like you drive it onto the, or like locks in, you drive it onto like a track. Um, that's very fun. And there's so much acreage out there. They could build crazy roller coasters that they'd never be able to at a theme park because there's not enough room.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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That's a great idea. Thank you. Yeah. I like that a lot. Thank you. Do your worst, Willie. What is... I don't do them like that. Cargo shorts with temperature-controlled pockets. Okay? Lauren didn't like it. Cut to Lauren's reaction right here. Cut to Lauren and then put a big X on her face and put Bozo under it. Better do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I will Wait that explode Lauren explode yourself with FX like a drone Okay, so what are you putting in there like ice cream sandwich on the go motherfucker? Imagine you want to take one of those like, you know things like two chocolate chip cookies with it I just had one of those last night. Yeah, imagine guess what guess what you want to take that to go Good fucking luck, bitch
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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oh my god i did not mean bitch like you i i meant just like i didn't mean bitch like you you're you're different you're a completely different type of bitch i was saying i meant bitch like someone else i didn't mean i was saying that like generally but then i looked at you and i said it can you cut that no he called her bitch i didn't call lauren i've called lauren a bitch before many many of times no i've only done it once and you got very upset probably i was saying like generally if you try to put an ice cream sandwich in your pocket good luck bitch
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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But then I happened to turn to you right when I said it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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What about hot? You tell her about the hot side. How about this? Whore?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Do you see what they're doing to his childhood home? The Pope? The Pope? No. So he obviously just has a childhood house in Chicago that he grew up in. Yeah. It's owned by a new family now. And they were like, all right, pretty good opportunity to like auction it off and make like a ton of money. And the city, I guess, is claiming that it's their property because it's like a landmark.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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seriously dude oh wait whore get a load of this you're gonna love the hot whore whore idiot whore i'm so sorry um here's another practical use you know some people like to go to festivals or concerts and stuff and i've heard out here people like to do uh bring like chocolate bars to eat i guess just eat chocolate at the festival But then it melts and it gets all sticky.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So it keeps it cool. It's a cool temperature controlled pocket. Or you can do warm in the winter for a hot pocket. One of them microwaves stuff so you can put like popcorn in there and then when you're walking around it's like pop, pop, pop.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You don't need to carry around your worm, but it's way too cold in the winter. Oh, that's like a saying that doesn't exist. I haven't figured out what it means yet. Worm in the winter? You're hotter than a worm in the winter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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A worm in the winter is someone who's got to make some changes or they're going to die. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Are we live now? Play date. Play date. Episode 108. Kemba Walker. On the Hornets. Kemba Walker on the Hornets. We were just in Charlotte. Or Kemba Walker on the Bobcat. Was he ever on the Hornets? I think it was the Bobcats when he was there. I don't know. You're putting me in a weird spot because I have no fucking clue. What about Tony Romo? He didn't wear eight. What did he wear? Nine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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The other day I was moving worms off the sidewalk. Someone's got to do it. I was two blocks ahead of you putting them on the sidewalk. All right. Should we do teach me something?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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What? Go ahead. Did you already do this? This was your Teach Me Something last episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Wait, I just learned this two days ago. Say it. It's impossible. I learned this in North Carolina. Oh, maybe you just told me then. The Origins of Hello.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Originally, Alexander Graham Bell, they were trying to come up with, like, how people should answer the phone. Because before, if you saw somebody, you'd be like, good morning, good afternoon, good night, whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You'd pick up and be like, ahoy! And then I think Ben Franklin was like, no. Ahoy would be fun. It should be hello. Ben Franklin? Apparently. Wait, what? I think Google... Wait, wait, wait. Let me just finish and then we can figure it out. Wasn't the phone like the early 1900s? The telephone? No, it was like the early 1800s, late 1700s maybe. What? Yeah. It's crazy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It's the late 1800s. I don't think Ben Franklin was part of this. I don't think he was. But someone said it. Whatever. So apparently hello used to just be like an exclamation. Like something would happen. You'd be like, hello. But then he was like, now it's a greeting. Wait, did he not say this? Am I tripping? Maybe someone else taught me. I'm sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I didn't mean to jump down your throat like that then. Dude, brother like me loves when you jump down that throat. Come on, jump on in. Jump on in. What? Get in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Oh, ready? Who here likes birds? This guy. Come on. Right here. I'm open. I'm open. The Eurasian Swift.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So they want to just... Just because the Pope lived at your house at some point doesn't mean you have to give it up to be a musician. They got lucky. They should reap the reward. Yeah, that's bizarre. They live in sacred walls. They should just own it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Question? Yeah. Why would they want to do that? I don't know. And they don't ever go on the ground until they're sexually mature.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Brother like me would stay up there forever then.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I don't know. They're fucking hammered. All right, what did we do?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I'm in. I want to go to a party with him and I want him to do his worst. Open it up TikTok and your grandpa just being like, swingers nuts can be paradise. I love him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I don't think you can be kind and crazy. You can freak it. You can be kind when you freak it. What's the kindest you've ever freaked it? All right, well, this is a celebrity, celebrity barber bodyguard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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yeah i don't it's kind of like the guy who owns the breaking bad house where it's like i bet it would get old like that lady like screams at people every day that's what i'm saying no i'm saying like you if unless you want people constantly at your house like this this is gonna be like a point of pilgrimage now is it dude you know crazy chicago area man discovers he owns that's funny uh i don't he doesn't sit right with me that he's that he's had sex
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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do you like it why is there a barber shop in a walmart i don't know but it's also funny it's like actually pretty like i think he did he did a really good job he did a really good job there's just a lot happening
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Oh. I guess I should have phrased that differently. He was, like, furious with the haircut you gave him. All right, should we do ways to slide into someone's DMs? Sure. These are ways to slide into someone's DMs. I base these all off of things that have worked on me. Okay. Real site dating for free totally, 100% instant sex cams for everyone, 18 plus. That would work.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
All right, you send them an audio message with this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
That would work. I love that. I feel lonely. I need someone next to me now. Call me and let's have fun. Squirt emoji. Oh, God. They're all actually pulled from my DMs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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um you have your friend dm them something like really crass and then you join the group chat and you go is this guy bothering you that's good are you interested in sex cameras with me check out my latest movie preview watch now here um you i'm lost and i can't find my parents can you help me please it's kind of like Like you're a little kid. Okay. This is my idea.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I haven't, I haven't actually made the thing, but one of those, like you have $15 to build the perfect blank, but it's like the date. Yeah. To build the perfect date. So it's like different options. So it's like a good conversation starter and it would give you like, I love that idea. Uh, you accidentally send them a Ben Shapiro clip and then you go, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I didn't mean to do this. This isn't representative of my character. I like that a lot. Uh, a trivia question. such as i don't know i just want where is the origin i'm hoping i hope this leads to anyone sending me trivia questions i like trivia questions you dm them a picture of their childhood best friends home from the bushes All right, should we do beach games that don't exist? Yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Tee it up, Willie. These are beach games that don't exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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He was doing the thing you asked him to do. Oh, I thought you hated it. No, I hate you, not it, though. Say you don't.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Well, summer's coming, motherfuckers. Summer's right around the corner. These are the hottest speech games of 2025. Have you ever played seagulls? You swarm other beach goers, eat all their food, and then poop on their blankets. Trench warfare. You dig two World War I style... You got... I have the exact same... Trench warfare. You dig two World War I style trenches...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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like 30 feet apart from each other, and you each have an assortment of colored balls. Your goal is to get the balls into the other person's trench without them stopping you. If you're out of the trench and you get hit with the ball, you're out. So it's like dodgeball combined with trench shit. Sick. I love it. When I was a kid, we used to play cousins and uncles. Crunkles.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Where you go up to other groups and you see how long you can convince them that you were actually part of this beach trip and you're their cousin or uncle. I think that would work. Landmine. You all dig yourselves holes and completely cover yourselves where just your mouth is out. And then someone has to walk around.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And if you can get them to get close enough to where you can grab their ankle, you win. Yeah, but if they pour beer into your mouth hole, then you lose. Kind of similar to trench warfare, I have Vietnam. You dig tunnels and you try and sneak into each other's bases. I like that. Keep it down. You get a helium balloon, and it's the opposite of keep it up. You have to keep it down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Shark Bats 1. Wait, let me... This is what I wrote. Shark bite or shark attack. You get a point if you get the lifeguard to think you're getting eaten by a shark, get bitten yourself, or get it to bite one of your opponents.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Last man sitting. This is what I'm actually excited about. When you get there, it's when the tide's coming in. You try to see... You set a time, and you're saying... Okay, sorry. Okay. When you get to the beach and the tide's coming in, you set a time and you say at this time, whoever is closest to the water without having been touched by it wins.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So you have to decide how close you want to put your chair and try to approximate where the tide will be at that said time. That's fantastic. That reminds me, we used to go logging. We would like sit right where the wave breaks and see who could like sit there the longest. In a chair? No, no, no. Like out in the, just like floating. Oh, got to go there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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sandwich sandwich two guys the bread the rest of the toppings run at them try and squish them all together hey what tomato volunteer you're just bumping into each other shoving into each other you fucking come come up with a beach game come up with a beach game and it can't be barbecue hands because that's my next one
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Wait, how do you know he's had sex? Someone's mom said she banged him when he was at Villanova. Was that a TikTok? They never said they had sex. I saw that TikTok. They had a situation chip. I think he was Catholic his whole life. Unless he sinned, which is not out of the picture, but I think it's very much within the realm of possibility that he hasn't had sex.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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torpedo uh you do you take the lightest friend in your group and then you try to throw them as far as you can into the ocean and but they can't swim you don't save them close to ever working that would never work it would break okay uh precision body surfing body surfing is usually about how far you can go this is about if you can hit very specific targets like you know like i feel like it'd be fun to have to try to like aim you set up like a slalom course yes yeah i like that
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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uh all right should we do rusty's song of the day arsad hit me um someone said that we should start outroing the songs with outroing the episodes with the song but i think it would just demonetize yeah probably not uh i got i don't ever i don't think i'm ever gonna figure it out by elliot smith uh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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one of the he's one of the only guys that like i feel like i can like hit shuffle just on his page and i find new ones that i like all of them but i'll find every time i think i've heard them all i find a new one you don't you're doing okay elliot smith i love it this one's actually kind of happy um it's about him trying to figure out what a girl is thinking i think i found it yesterday like that i'm kidding dude it's not like that i love you man
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
all right we love you guys so much have a great rest of your monday have a great tuesday and we will see you bright and early on wednesday um what should i comment comment comment a picture of my balls someone commented on one of our tiktoks uh a screenshot i saw that sitting i was like i don't know how they even got that you can put comments or was it the one where i'm sitting like this yeah yeah that was in the someone posted in the subreddit
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Do we have a – There's the Almost Friday TV subreddit. Oh, that's funny. It was just a screenshot of me sitting like this. Oh, that's silly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Yeah, we're going to spice things up. We've been on the road a lot, and it's been really hard to innovate because we've been kind of – and then Lauren has gone and everything. But I think this summer is going to cool down a little bit for us, and we're going to have more opportunity to get a little creative, and we want to try new segments.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Yeah, we're going to Nassau. That's the Bahamas, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Yeah, I have a trip in July. But for the most part, we'll be here. For the most part, we will be here. All right, we love you guys so much. Lauren, play that motherfucking theme music, boy. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I feel like that seems... Like, if people are, like, actual, like, devout Catholics, like, if we count... We totally can't. I'm about 95% myself. Come on. I'm about 95%. I don't get it. I've had so much sex, it accounts for 95% of Catholics. Yeah, wait. I've had enough for a whole hundred. 99% of Catholics have had sex before marriage, but 95% of them did it with will. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Just stay on top of it. Just stay on top of it. I'm sorry. We came back hot. We came back hot. We're the bad boys of podcasting again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
They call him the Kingslayer. I don't know. You're just at 95% of Cardinals events, actually. Oh, God. Dude, did I tell you about my buddy who they all sued his Catholic school? He went to a Catholic high school and the One of the fathers or whatever. Was it Chevers?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
There was like a guy involved with it there. What happened there? Or like one of the priests from like Spotlight. What's Spotlight? The movie about like the priest abuse stuff in Boston. Like one of the guys got transferred to Chevers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
You know, they just like instead of like punishing them, they just like send them away. Yeah. They send them to a place where all the kids are really ugly or something. So they... All right, keep going. So my buddy was, they caught the gym teacher who was also a priest. Yeah. Filming them in the locker room. And so they all sued the school. And I think each kid got like $100,000. Damn. Whoa.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
But they were like, he didn't get anything. They were just like in their boxers. So they were like, that seems like a fair trade. Like they didn't feel like super, obviously it was disgusting and gross that he did that. But they were like, it's not like he has some like crazy thing or like abused us, whatever. Like he got a video. I got a hundred thousand dollars for a video of me and my boxers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Dude, yesterday was one of the... With the exception of that one where I was throwing up on the plane. Yeah. Yesterday was the worst, the hardest I've ever traveled. Really? Why? We, when you, so Willie, we were in North Carolina. Willie went to an MJ Lenderman concert and left the rest of us unsupervised. And we, James and I were playing on a golf simulator. We were trying to be the first guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Like I would do that every day. obviously you feel like a little icky yeah yeah yeah i don't think i'm yeah yeah sure what do you mean sure like it was your kid oh no no their parents were were furious obviously but i'm saying like these are like 18 year old 17 18 year old boys they were just like i don't and i feel like a little like icky about it but like you got yeah get your bag king
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Yeah, so you'd $36 million a year for some guy to film me in my skivvies? Yes, you're right, yeah. $336.5 million a year for a guy who sits in my closet, but according to Lauren's logic, I do not know he's there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Well, I will tell you. It's Schrodinger's guy in your closet. Lauren, well, I have to tell you something. What? I think that, and obviously this is like, I'm like 75% serious about this. And I think I'm being paranoid. I genuinely think there's a guy in my vents.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I've thought this at every house I've lived in. But this one specifically. Yeah, I was just going to say. What? No, no, no. I told you about it. You genuinely think there's a guy in your vents? You're not. No. You would have called the cops. Not genuinely.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Yes. Okay. There's like this mystery goo that every once in a while comes out of the... What? What? I didn't say anything. This is just insane. It was on the vent, and then I'll hear stuff up there. And then a guy sprays his mystery goo out the vent? Is someone shooting mystery goo out your vents?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
You don't know. Okay, well, that changes it. Now your question is, would you get assaulted every day for $100,000? The answer is no. Sorry. But if he's just filming, yeah, totally. What if he's... Famous. A-list. A-list. Okay, like Ashton Kutcher is in your vents filming you. And he's shooting goo. And he's shooting his mystery goo at you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I want like a... I don't know. Taylor Swift? Could you say... I would go... I'm going to be on like a watch list. Yeah. Orlando Bloom. I'd just like you to know he's up there. Keira Knightley. Yeah. The whole cast. Dude, I've been... You do Johnny Depp. I got to watch Star Wars for the first time yesterday. Ew. He's allowed to burp. I'm allowed to burp. Thank you. I'm so sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
You watched Star Wars... Which one? Four. Because I've seen the pre... I saw the prequels. I just finished Empire Strikes Back, so I moved on to A New Hope. Nice. Nice. Wait, you finished Revenge of the Sith. Sorry, Revenge of the Sith. Got it. What did I say? Empire Strikes Back. Empire Strikes Back. You got that coming up. Dude. Also, I was talking about this yesterday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
The names of all the Star Wars are sick. Yes. If someone called me the Phantom Menace, there'd be some mystery goo. Let me tell you. Here's my take, and I'll see if you disagree with it. Can I tell you what I think before so it isn't biased? Because I think you are on this same thing. Granted, it's early. I prefer the prequels so far. I'm totally a prequels guy. I'm vastly pervert.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
It was so stupid. We were trying to be the first guys to tie until the sun came up. It didn't make any sense. Tie? We were trying to like have the same score until the sun came up. And then at like 445, we were,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Is that because we're children? I think it's because the beauty of the original Star Wars is it was like this space opera and it was made at a time where that was unique and...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
cool and like but now it's kind of lost it's like been it was so successful that it's been mirrored so many times in like stuff that we consume that it doesn't feel as original anymore like it's not like revolutionary at all you know about these characters and stuff and the like it's just a little bit like cornier and like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
not and not as impressive like technically too because they didn't have like the ability to do like these crazy it was you know like they made it all with like literal props like they made like tiny versions of all the ships and film them up close that's how they do all the space scenes but also i think the way you're doing it going the prequels into the fourth one too is like hard it's jarring because it's like you go you like regress technologically between the third and the fourth one in terms of like yeah and in terms of like the writing and like way it's
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I also just like the cast in the prequels better.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Well, I think Anakin's an all-time character. He's one of the best. You know who got, like, shit on for that role? Hayden Christensen? No, I thought the little kid got shit on for it. No, Hayden Christensen got, like, really? He went into, like, hiding for, like, years. He just, like, now is doing events and stuff again. But why did people hate it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I think a lot of the dialogue is really poorly, like, kind of poorly written. Like, those scenes, like, with, like, Padme in the, like, in the villa in, like, Naboo, like, when they're, like, by the lake.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
yeah like i don't know there's like just some corny ass lines that he's given there's some corny ass lines in this in the one that i watched yesterday yeah i don't i just think that uh i'm not a big i don't like because luke skywalker talks like a like a 70s american teenager so it's like hard to yes yeah like they didn't nail the it feels like i feel more immersed in the prequels agreed yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Because Hayden Christensen talks like... He doesn't talk like a 2000s teenager. Luke Skywalker talks like a kid from New Jersey. Yes, I agree. I think it's a little... I like the prequels a lot better. Have you guys seen... You should watch Rogue One, too. You should have watched that between three and four. So I almost made a fatal error last night. I almost bought all nine for $99.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
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What he's doing to you is my worst nightmare. Something someone could do to me. So I'm empathizing with you right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Wo lebt dieser Typ? Ich will ihm sagen, dass ich sie verloren habe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Du bist nicht wie eine schöne Frau. Ich weiß nicht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Er war nicht... Hatte er deine Trinken gekauft?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
But how, how did you lose, were you guys like running around trying them on in different places? I don't know. Okay, alright, so, the guy's just like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
She posted with Augustus Gloop in the Victoria one too. And so I was like, she's probably with Mike TV. Wait, really?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
So here's where your story doesn't line up. You gave him your Venmo, because he didn't just guess your Venmo.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Nein, wir wären das Gegenteil. Hier ist mein fucking Ding mit diesen Leuten. Er ist plötzlich, das ist offensichtlich eine gespielte Kugel, die man wählen kann. Ja. Er kann nur schrecklich, er kann schrecklich nicht haben, was auch immer, eine bedrückende Krankheit, die er hatte. All of a sudden, all of a second, the second he can go to the chocolate factory, he can get up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Warte, du schämst dich über das? Ich denke, das ist ein großartiger Move. Ja, das ist episch. Sie hat 200 Dollar von einem Mann. Lass mich dir nur sagen, Mädchen. Aus Erfahrung. Sorry, wir sind... Gläser sind nicht gratis. Vater wird ihn irgendwie bekommen. Was? Entschuldigung? Er will Feet-Pics oder Crack-Shots oder so.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Du hast einen Venmo von Macron geschossen. Okay. Ich unterstütze, dass du 200 Dollar gekostet hast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich denke, wir sollten es trennen, weil ich so unterstützt bin.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Du hast ihn für alles gekostet, was er wert war. Ich dachte, du hast gesagt, du hast ihn nicht gekostet. Ich habe es nicht gekostet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Nope. We'll just cut it if, if you're going to say it after. It's, if it comes from, if it, if it comes from me, it's not going to be funny. It's going to be like, I'm like making fun of my friend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I did. Because you're like a huge booze bag.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Get the fuck out of here. Maybe work. Men used to work. Now they just go to chocolate factories instead of bed all day. I think now they just go hang out with Augustus Gloop.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I'm holding it right now. It's the black edition, ready to drink. It's incredible. Tastes like a milkshake. And when I drink it, I'm so much less tired because it has vitamin B12 to reduce tiredness and fatigue.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
It's like, go get a job. From the movie. There's a guy named Mike TV in Charlie and the Jogging Man. He's like one of the main guys. Which one is he? Is he like the blonde kid? He's like dressed like a cowboy. Mike TV. Look up Mike TV. Nope. Absolutely. I refuse to believe there's a Mike TV. Well, Lauren's got like, what is she's got like bells and whistles and dials over here? Turn that shit off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
So I went my freezer. Oh my God. Wait, I discovered the greatest thing in the world. This should be my pitch, but it just already exists. What's the worst part about scooping your own ice cream with a spoon? Es ist zu hart. Es ist hart. Weißt du, wenn es deine Palme schmerzt, weil du nicht so hart wie du willst? Ich habe einen Oven-Mit aufgemacht. Du kannst so hart wie du willst drücken.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Nein, es ist nicht der Spunen. Du hast wie Titanium Spunen. Meine Spunen sind so schwer. Es war ein Problem, das ich mein ganzes Leben beschäftigt habe. Ich habe versucht, den Spunen zu erheben. Ich habe versucht, den Pint zu erheben.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ja, aber... Ich bin sorry, dass ich hier nicht deine Geldpacken verpasst habe, ich kann nicht... Du bist es! Ich habe keine einzelnen Anwanderer, die mich am Bar anrufen. Nein, ich habe eigentlich kein Geld, aber... Ich habe ein Öffnungsgerät auf, auf das du so hart wie du willst drücken kannst, um alles Eis zu bekommen, was du willst. Aber hier ist das Kaviar.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Der Schmerz ist das, was dich davon verhindert, all das Eis zu geben. Du kommst zu einem Punkt, wo du sagst, das ist genug. Ich will nicht mehr so viel machen. Mit dem anderen Mütze habe ich die ganze Pfanne in einen Mug gespült. Ich bin in meinem Zimmer gegangen. Ich hatte nur die Zeit in meinem Leben mit den Ben & Jerrys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Yeah, I'm just early to bed, early to rise. But I woke up fully clothed on top of a maid bed. I annihilated the mug, but it was dripping onto my chest.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich bin aus dem Top-Bug gefallen, bin nicht aufgewacht, bin unter dem Bett gestorben, bin aufgewacht und dachte, dass ich sterbe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Apparently, that's the viral prank for... Wait, I have a question. You go home at 8.30. Work ends at 6. You go home, you get home at 6.30. And you eat dinner and then just go to bed?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I've never been awake when the TV is turned off. It's not like I'm like, I need to be, I just fall asleep by 8.30.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Sometimes I'm awake. It's not every night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I also have gotten... It's more about how early I wake up. Like, I can go to bed late. I still wake up at that time. Got it. Which is kind of a nightmare. Like, I haven't slept in... Even on weekends, like, I just wake up at... What do you do in the morning before work?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich denke, unsere Gehirne ist irreparably verletzt. Oh mein Gott, Will. Es ist so schlecht. Es ist so schlecht. Ich hatte keine Service in Colorado für ein bisschen und es war wie das Ende der Welt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich werde auf einem Flugzeug sein und es ist nicht mit Wi-Fi verbunden. Ich sitze und refreshe es, bis es funktioniert. Ja, ich bin wirklich in die Kiste gegen meinen Freund Conor. Attaboy, see? I'm getting good. I don't know his last name, so I just had to say his first initial. Seago. Seago.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Just make it with regular sauce, Lauren. It doesn't have to be vodka sauce. That's what Lauren calls having a sidecar with her dinner. It's plain noodles and then she has a shot of vodka and she goes... Pasta with vodka sauce and everyone goes, you're letting us down. She cooks it and you're throwing your life away for the bottle. You boil vodka.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
No, with chips. And carrots. I had two types of chips. I had pita chips and tortilla chips. And then I had a bag of baby carrots that I had just bought for Trader Joe's. Und dann hatte ich auch diese kleinen Trail-Mix-Krackers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Oh, what? You weren't even joking. No, why would I be joking? Wait, what about him? I don't... He's one of the main guys. I mean, why would you be joking? Well, we were all talking about the movie and then I said a guy and you're like, what the fuck is that? What the fuck was that? You have to give it to me that Mike TV sounds like a name you made up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Was ist ein Trail-Mix-Kracker? Es ist wie ein Kracker, der... Ich habe etwas gelernt. Ich habe etwas gelernt. Ich habe etwas gelernt. Alle nehmen ihre Telefone raus. Alle zu Hause, nehmen sie ihre Telefone raus. Ich habe versucht, zu sehen, wie lange ich diese Geschichte erzählen konnte, als er sich überrascht hatte. Alle nehmen ihre Telefone raus. Alle zu Hause, nehmen sie ihre Telefone raus.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Außer wenn du fährst. Wenn du fährst, drück den Scheiß runter und nimm deine Telefone raus. Ich habe etwas so Spaß gelernt und wir werden schauen. Everyone open the Uber app.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Are you banned? Are you banned? I don't think Lyft does this. Go to Account.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Boo. Do not like Waymos. Sorry. Go to Account. Scroll down. Click Settings.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Go to... Wait, settings is not an option. Wait, activity or account? No, no, sorry, account. Account.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
On account, Lauren. I'm on it. And then click settings. Wait, okay. Then go to privacy. Oh my god. Then click see summary.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Okay, this is where it gets interesting. Scroll down and click view my ratings. This rocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Hast du viele 1s? Ja, ich habe viele 1s. Ich habe 475 5 Stars, 10 4 Stars, 6 3 Stars, 3 2 Stars, was ich glaube, ist der größte Schlag in die Füße. Es war nicht so, als wären sie nur triggerfreundlich. Das ist eine rationalere Person, die sagt, das war nicht eine gute Runde. Und dann habe ich 11 1 Stars. Was zur Hölle hast du da gemacht? Das ist das, was ich gesagt habe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich habe nichts schlechtes gemacht. Ich glaube, es muss nur geschlagen werden, richtig? Ja, ich glaube, das ist es.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Yeah, he's the fucking bad boy of... He's the Make-A-Wish-Kid. He's the bad boy of... No, he's not. He's a guy in that movie. He's a guy in that movie. Oh, the actor's name is Mike TV? No, he's a character. In that movie. He's a character in the movie Willy Wonka Factory.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I need to like... Ja, aber es war nicht unsignifizierend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I've charted, but it's been like... It's in my butt cheeks and I can waddle to the bathroom and there's none on my underwear.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
He's a character in the Willy Wonka movie. I have a stroke and die. Oh my god. How we doing today? Come on. I'm doing great. I got a fucking bone. I got another bone to pick. Hit me. It's not a plated episode unless I'm extremely mad at someone. Which one of us? Neither of you guys. I would love both of you guys. I was in the line for In-N-Out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Like a little bit came out. Yeah, like a Hershey squirt? A Hershey squirt, but it was confined to my butt cheeks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ja. Leider. Das war die Huntington-Haus, das war wie dieses... Es war wie ein Haus, in das Kinder frequentieren würden, wenn man Dirty oder so wollte. Und es schluchzte nicht. Und es machte mich wirklich schmerzhaft.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Get prepared for him to play that song four times in a row.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Will, what's the girl sitch? I met, I talked to a girl.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Scott and I are trying to talk to more girls when we go out. What does that conversation look like between you and Scott? Scott, we gotta talk to more girls when we go out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
A habit of Vorher war es so, dass wir mehr Sachen machen mussten, wenn es um junge Leute um unsere Zeit ging und wir uns da rausgezogen haben. Und jetzt machen wir einen wirklich guten Job. Letzten Monat haben wir das Venice Run Club gemacht, was wirklich toll war. Und dieses Wochenende sind wir in Bars gegangen, wo es der richtige Ort war.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
setting and but we just like don't ever go up to them or initiate like we go to the places like like normal of guys to think that i think we were trained as kids that like going up and hitting on girls is like always bad but i think there's like a there's like a polite way to do it yes so like we haven't learned on friday night we were we had cards and we're gonna play beat the box and i just said to the girls at the table over i was like hey do you guys want to show up
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
And they were very nice. Did not get any of their information or names even, but... But I think that's, like, cool. One small step for man. Yeah. Like, you set the tone that, like, like, girls are gonna... Like, if you guys do that enough, they're gonna be like, those guys are super fun and they never...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Und sie haben nie von dir gefragt. Wir gehen einfach raus und haben eine gute Zeit. Und wir werden nicht so schrecklich sein. Ja, aber ich denke, du musst nicht schrecklich sein, um mit jemandem zu flirten. Ich war nie gut am Flirten. Genau, das ist, was ich versuche. Aber wir sind zum Run Club gegangen, wo alle diese jungen, attraktiven Menschen unserer Art sind.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Und dann haben wir es fertig gemacht und wir sind auf der Seite davon gestanden und haben unsere Wasser gespürt und dann sind wir nach Hause gegangen. Ja. Hey. Hey. Start over and be serious. This is real. Be serious. Wait, are you dancing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
And if you've ever been to the Westwood In-N-Out, you know that you go behind, the drive-thru goes behind the building.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Okay. I don't even know what's the opening line. Lauren, pause. Dating coach, what would you tell Will?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I'm drinking a vodka cranberry juice because it's fun, but it's low-cal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Yeah. My dad used to be like, gotta make sure it's not poison that you eat half my dinner. Poison chick. Okay, and then... I'd be like... Perfect.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
On the street and I googled and gawked. I don't like when we're trying to be serious and you... Why are we... What do you want me to say? Because I want to see you hit on me. You want me to hit on you. I want to see you hit on me. Holy shit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
This was like a covert way for me to get you to hit on me and you won't do it. I think the mic peaked.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Um... Hey, do you wanna play cards with me and my friends? Yeah, that sounds really fun. Can my friends come? Um... Wait, I'm the friend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I feel like there has to be some initiating action or something. Or it's like you meet a friend of a friend. I don't know. The only time you could ever... Deem, what I was doing is hitting on a woman, went horribly wrong. I was in, I guess it just went nowhere. Like I immediately got flat. There was this girl at Rollins that I recognized, but we like ran in different circles.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Und ich dachte, dass sie weggehen würden. Sie waren parkiert in einem anderen Unternehmen und sie waren weg. Und sie sind einfach vor Flan und ich gefahren. In der In- und Out-Line. Sie haben uns in der Drive-Thru-Line getrennt. Was ich noch nie gesehen habe. And the guy who's taking the orders, I think, assumed, thought we, when he was taking the order, he thought we were next.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
And I asked her what she wanted to drink and she didn't hear me. Well, I would say I dated a girl in college. What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich wollte das nicht sagen, aber ich war immer bei ihrer Hausaufgabe. Nach der Arbeit gehe ich immer zu Scotts Haus und wir nehmen ein Bier oder was auch immer. Ja, wir nehmen ein Bier oder was auch immer. Nein, aber ich war immer bei meiner Hausaufgabe. Es war, als ich den Gras aufgemacht habe und ich nach Hause kam und dann war ich bei Scotts Hausaufgabe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Und ich war immer bei ihrer Hausaufgabe und sie war oft auf der Bühne. Und ich erinnere mich immer, dass ich immer bei ihr war und ich dachte, dass sie wirklich schön war. Und dann habe ich einfach stoppt und ich war so... Hey, I feel like I always see you walking by. Like, I'm Will. And then I was like, can I get your number? And then I got it. You dated? And then we ended up dating, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Playmates at Home. Will you guys please, if you're a guy, comment what you would like a girl to say to you. And if you're a girl, comment what you would like a guy to say.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
So it just like worked. It was awesome. And then we had a date like a few days later. And we get down at a restaurant. We're sitting at the table next to Lil Xan. Oh, das ist faszinierend. Und er ist einfach zählend, schreit und so. Aber es war ein perfekter Eisbrecher für die Schwierigkeit des ersten Dates. Was zur Hölle ist das?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich denke, dass das... Natürlich kannst du so Sachen nicht skriptieren. Oder du kannst nicht so Sachen auf deinem ersten Date spielen. Aber Lauren hat das Restaurant empfohlen, als Flynn und ich zuerst rausgingen. Und es gibt Tasting-Menüs. Also es gibt ständig... Einer ist schnell. Also wenn es nicht gut geht, würde man schnell rausgehen. Aber ein neues Gericht ist da. Ständig etwas zu sprechen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Fünf Minuten, damit du etwas zu sprechen hast. Und dann... Yeah. Our second date, I did not think, went very well.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
We went to Evely, and we were eating, and it was just, their waiter was nowhere to be found. And it was one of those things where, like, you're trying to keep your cool, but at the same time, where the fuck is our... You want to have, like, more than one drink, too, because you're, like, nervous. And then he just wasn't coming back. But they closed permanently. Fuck them. Let's go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I fucking hate that small business. We should be like... I had an idea for we could be the bad boys of Yelp. Oh, ja. Bring back like hardcore critiquing. I want to shut down some motherfucking small businesses. Come on. I will shout out, I went to Laurel Hardware. It was fucking awesome. Is that a restaurant? Yeah, they were so nice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
We were being that table where she came around three different times and we still weren't ready to order. Usually they would get frustrated about that. She was super cool about it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Es ist gut, aber es ist nicht der beste Burger, den ich jemals hatte. Und ich glaube, die Leute sagen immer, es ist der beste Burger, den ich jemals hatte. Das Essen dort ist fucking fantastisch. Ich mag einen dünnen Burger und es ist ein dicker Burger. Vielleicht ist es nicht mein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich glaube, ihre Theorie ist, wenn du jemanden lange genug warten machst und du so hungrig bist, dann wird alles das Beste sein, was du jemals hattest. Ich glaube, deine einzige Vorstellung von diesem Ort ist, dass die eine Zeit, in der deine Freundin in den peak hours ging. And it was late. But when we all stood there, we wouldn't have been able to get there for like two hours.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Yeah, like if you go like a peak hour on a Friday or Saturday, you can make reservations outside of peak hours. Oh. Yeah. Or like last night was like a Sunday evening and I waited an hour, but...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Like he had registered that there was a white car behind the car I'm doing right now. And then when he looked over, now were two cars back. And he made a face at us like, what the hell? And we were like, I don't know, the guy, they cut us. It sounds like you let him in. She let him in. She was driving. And I, she got... Ich dachte, es war am Anfang lustig, bis es länger dauerte.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ja, ich meine, es ist ein populärer Restaurant. Ich glaube, IHOP ist ein Restaurant. Ich glaube, IHOP ist ein Restaurant. Ich glaube, IHOP ist verhaftet. Ich glaube, ich wurde verhaftet. Ich glaube, ich wurde verhaftet. Ich glaube, ich wurde verhaftet. Oh fuck. Oh my god. You're gonna have to bail me out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Oh mein Gott. Dein Freund, der keine Ahnung hat, warum er verhaftet wird. Oh mein Gott. Ich denke, ich wurde verhaftet. Du musst mich rauswerfen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Outside of what salad shop? Alfalfa. Alfalfa. You haven't seen this today? He ran away with his dog and now they're trying to find this guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
When I was in college. I'm anti-pit bulls. I love pitbulls. I love pitbulls. I think you need to be hyper aware of where your pitbull is at all times. Yeah. It was like that Pitbull killed a family's newborn baby, like their own Pitbull killed their baby. And they were like, we never saw it coming or whatever. And it was like, I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I think if I had a newborn baby, I would not get a Pitbull.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
When I was in college, there was this house called Orchid and like 16 kids lived there. So it was ginormous. And there were constantly dogs around because kids either were like... Had their own or were like dog sitting for someone. My friend Colin was dog sitting his brother's dog Oakley. And my friend Jake's parents' dogs were in town. And one of the dogs attacked Oakley.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
And they had to put like a tube in its neck. Jesus.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Remember, one time Paul's dog bit Willem. One time Paul's dog bit Willem. That's what I just said. Wait, I just said that and then you tried to make it your story.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Guys, if you're sitting there drinking a Twisted Tea and you're going, this tastes like real tea. Let me tell you, it is real tea. Because it's made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. It's refreshing. It's a killer drink. It gets the party started.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
People are gonna love you if you, or it's not contingent on that, but people are gonna love you even more if you show up with, I like to get the party pack because here's why. Ich mag das Original. Pech. Ich mag Pech. Halb und halb. Persönlich halb und halb ist mein Lieblingsgericht, aber ich werde für einen Raspberry verabschieden. Komm schon. Das ist nicht mal verabschieden, Alter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Eigentlich ist der Raspberry... Ich würde sagen, Raspberry und Pech sind zwischen den beiden für mich. Aber sie sind beide effing lecker. Sie sind fucking. Sie sind beide fucking lecker. Das ist richtig. Twisted Tea is the perfect alcohol to keep the party going all day long. We're talking good times. We're talking turning bad times into good times. Good times.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Dann war ich auf ihrer Seite. Aber sie meinte, was, sie haben gespielt? Und ich meinte, ja, du hast dich am Rücken verletzt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Talking good times all around good vibes, whether you're hanging out at a friend's house, at the bar, or on a weekend getaway, just looking to get loose. Twisted Tea is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time a great time. So keep it twisted. Let's get back into the episode. I remember Kony 2012. That shit was fucking insane. Yeah. I'll tell you about how I was really into that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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We were like, we watched that video and we looked at each other. One second, Will.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Also, ich und Carter Standish haben das Kony 2012-Video geschaut und wir waren beide so, holy shit, wir müssen was machen. Und so hatten sie das Cover-of-the-Night-Ding, wo alle Poster auf einer Nacht hängen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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We went out and we hung them up all over the city until like one in the morning. And then my dad took us to get slushies at Turkey Hill as like a treat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
What the fuck was up with all this litter all over my street this morning? There were posters just everywhere in the street. Because we hung them all up and then wind had like... And I was like, I don't know, that sounds crazy. My teacher was complaining about it. Those guys sound like heroes. Who the hell did that? That's really good for the kids, right? Our child soldiers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It was like a fake movement though. No, it was real.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Google Joseph Kony. Er war ein echter Mann, aber ich glaube nicht, dass sie das ganze Ding verwendet haben. Au, meine Ballen. Nein, das war echter. Au, meine Ballen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I used the exact, that's very well said. I used the exact same thing to her. She either drives way too aggressive, and I think we're going to die, or she's like letting everyone take advantage of her on the highway. And I told her like, because she gets upset, and I'm like, well, if you're going to, Okay, I see. I don't drive ever, so I don't even care.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Was meinst du, dass es nicht wahr war? Du musst es erläutern, was das bedeutet. Ich denke nicht, dass es ein echter Kerl war.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ich denke, er war eine echte Person, aber sie haben die Geschichte gemacht. Ich denke nicht, dass es... Nein. Es ist echter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich weiß nicht. Das ist meine Meinung. Wir haben das mal genannt. Wir haben das mal genannt. Wir haben das mal genannt. Wir haben das mal genannt. Wir haben das mal genannt. Wir haben das mal genannt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Isn't it awesome that we can just lie to like 30,000 people?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Yeah. But it's not illegal unless I know it's not true and I don't read. I don't think it's illegal if you know. No, like you can, like that Mary-Kate thing. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta do, all the Barstool guys have... No, but I didn't know it was fake. Also, I didn't say that it was true, I just said this is what they're saying. Have you heard all of this? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Remember that thing that he brought up a while ago about like the girl sleeping with their friend's dad or something? The sorority girl?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
So like, there was all these people that like reported on that, and then apparently it's not true, and like her legal team is like going to fucking bat, so all these Barstool like personalities have had to post these like apology videos for basically doing what he did. I didn't do what they did. I said, this is the story that's going around.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
And that they all were like, this fucking idiot, this is what happened. Yeah. I said, this is just what they're saying. What I will say, I met some of those Barstool guys. I had nothing but positive experiences with everyone. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
You don't know Feidelberg? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I don't think I would do very well at Barstool, I can tell you that much. I think the Stoolies would eat me alive, dude. The Barstool Stoolies would eat me like a ham croissant for breakfast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
A hand croissant. Guess who's gonna share the night. Should we do a road map?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
And then we're going to do things to do now that the weather is nice, followed by Bible verses that don't exist. Let's get into it. Oh, and then we're going to finish with everyone's favorite segment, Rusty's Song of the Day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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The Playmates have been listening to that shit, and it's kind of blown me away, because there's only three songs in there, but by the time this one comes out, there will be four. A little bit of a dab there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Go check it out, Playboys. Building an army. You should weaponize them. You should figure out a way to weaponize them. You start making it all like Alice in Chains music and then the youth is all... We're gonna poison the youth.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Beep, boop, bop, beep, boop. Dickies Jeans, Cowboy Hat, Maroon Cowboy Shirt that you have and Cowboy Boots. I don't have Cowboy Boots. And Reebok Shoes. I have Reebok Shoes. I guarantee you're gonna wear that exact outfit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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He has a Maroon Cowboy Shirt. Ever seen it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
It's not really Maroon. Maroon's like a red. What is it, black?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Hot. Okay, maybe another magic tip for baby. Okay. No, you said just like us when it grows up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Your baby is going to have a ton of chest hair.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
While Lauren's pulling that up, I had a dream about you and I, Will. And we murdered a guy. Oh no! And we wrapped him in this red thing and then we had to find a place to bury him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Yeah, let's... Quick, quick, quick. Let's tell her the moon. The moon is made of cheese. Made of cheese. Can we do a draft that's just like complete nonsense? Yeah. And have her think. Like top.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
loren okay goldilocks was the worst part about making lunch um oh you guys make lunch more than i do so not having all the ingredients at the office there's maybe that's running like i ran out of ham sure is that right there's no way the answer is that you ran out of ham oh lunch is just like an inherently boring meal like you're not gonna have like a like a crazy blowout meal oh i disagree i think lunch is the best meal
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
i love it and here's why yep i will be like i'm being healthy by like putting off eating and then i think i'm good and then out of nowhere i get hit with this wave and i the 20 minutes while something bakes or boils is like hell i might as well you might as well be putting my feet to the fire
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Yeah, I got this. Ready? Friend Radio. Yes! It's just like, if you're bored and just want to talk about something, you can just turn it on and just yap. I mean, it's kind of like what this is, I guess, but it's just all your friends. Yeah, anyone can hop on. And so if you're bored and want to see who people are, you can just switch around the stations.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yes, I would like any number of those. Do you like jacked guys or not jacked guys, Lauren? Answer very carefully.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I can hit the rest of the stations, see if you're up talking. Und es gibt einen Mann, der das alles kuriert. Nein, ich denke, alle sind auf verschiedenen Kanälen. Oh. Also könnt ihr beide gleichzeitig gehen. Und ihr könnt euch einfach umschalten und sehen, ob jemand auf Friends Radio ist. Und es ist einfach, was ihr denkt. Ja, es ist einfach so, dass ihr einfach über irgendwas reden könnt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
You've never let me down. You guys have both let me down. Repeatedly, to the point I've become numb to it. When was the last time I let you down? I'll let you down. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Do you like jacked girls, Will? Yeah. A jacked girl is awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Boah. Boring. Boah. Boah. Boah. Hey, Bossman, change the fucking record already. This could have been one fucking email. Here's my thing. I don't mind meetings. I think that they sometimes are useful. 90% of the time that I'm in a meeting, I have to sit on my hands because I've never wanted to be anywhere less than in that conference room. These are contacts you pop in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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They wire straight into your ears and you just watch TV while you're in the meeting. And then it takes notes as people are talking. So if you have to say something, it'll give you like a quick debrief about what they're talking about. It's contacts that connect to your ear?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
It's contacts that you're looking and you see the TV, but it's like hardwired in your ear so that you can hear the TV as well. Got it. I just hate, I hate meetings so much. I think they're so stupid. I know that's pretty childish, but like for our, sometimes for our job, I go, I don't even get this. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich denke, das längste Meeting, das möglich ist, ist 30 Minuten. Ich bin noch nie in einem Meeting gewesen, in dem wir die 30-Minuten-Marke erreicht haben und eine brillante neue Sichtbarkeit entsteht. Ja, ich stimme dir zu. Es ist wie in Kreisen sprechen. Wenn du Leute versuchst, eine 30-Minuten-Meeting zu machen, ist das okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Und ich würde sogar sagen, wenn ich diese Kontakte hätte, würde ich bis zu der 30-Minuten-Marke warten, um sie anzunehmen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
But then when I looked on their page, every episode they do is like 50 minutes. Yeah, so either we talked way longer than other guests, or they edit every episode down heavily. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
We'll find out. I still can't get over that that guy Venmoed you 200. I've never had someone give me money. Was this guy like Mr. Moneybags?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Did he cane? What did he look like? Ähm... Du bist so... Ich fühle mich... Ist das jemand, den wir kennen? Definitiv, weil sie sich um den Busch geworfen hat. Ist das jemand, den wir kennen?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Er sollte nicht Mädchen mit Blasen kaufen. Ich weiß nicht. That's crazy. Why didn't you just tell us that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
You got Brett in. Yeah. Get both fingers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
That would have been a way better prank. No, no, no. That was what we landed on and then she panicked.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Kyle Kuzma, Van Roodi, $200. My fucking ass.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
You have the weirdest life. Es war nicht so, wie Kuzma. Geh Kuzma. Du hast Bofinger Kuzma. Ich glaube das für einen fucking Sekunden.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Also wir sagten, dass... Das war ein schrecklicher Witz. Das war gemacht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Das war lustig. Who's ready for... In Charleston. And then I went... And then I hopped.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Really? Because I knew you. Alright, who's ready for... Teach me something. Uh... I'll go. Please. So, I was reading about Germany, because I watched Inglourious Bastards again. What book was it, Will? What German book was it? Are you reading it again? No, I was reading Wikipedia. Sure.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Oh, mit dem coolen, streifenden Lichthaus?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Okay, so I was reading about the city of Stürgenberg. Stop tapping. Oh, sorry. I was reading about the city of Sturgenburg. It's the sister city of Sturgenburg in the US, in Kansas, that burned down very famously. And apparently when it burned down, there was one building, like a one-foot, or not one, like a one-floor building in the middle of Sturgenburg that didn't burn down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Und als sie es wieder aufgebaut haben, haben sie es umgebracht. Und jetzt ist es nur die Skyline. Das ist der schlimmste Prank der ganzen Zeit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Du wirst Sturgenberg. Das war das Schlimmste. Ich konnte nicht herausfinden, was es war.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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That's Alcatraz. It lives... Oh no, that's where I'm gonna go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Wisdom, the albatross. Is that long for albatross? Yes, the longest bird ever. The longest bird's been alive ever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Er ist wie ein reiches, reiches Kind. Sie leben auf dem Golfkurs in Hilton Head.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Do you see the vision? God forbid a white girl catches a vibe. Yeah. Type shit. I love that Will. Thank you. That's a 75 year old bird. That's like almost. Yeah. I mean it's so old. Did you google oldest bird? I know how his brain works and he was like, teach me something. I do not have one. He went oldest bird.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Make the video cut out. Did you google oldest bird? Yes. At least I have real. Half of yours aren't even fucking real. When was the last fake one I did? I don't remember. There's so many I can't even count.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Whatever. He lost the battle and the country was crawling with people who wanted to either capture or kill him. So what does he do, Willie? Tell me. He went full disguise mode. Charles shaved his beard, put on some old tattered clothes and pretended to be a farmhand. He spent weeks on the run hiding in houses, barns and famously an oak tree, which is now called the Royal Oak. Ja. Ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Isn't that pretty cool? Yeah, that's pretty cool. Can you Google this guy? What does he look like? Google Charles II Disguise. Charles II. Es war einer von diesen großen Niesen mit den Augenbrauen und Gläsern. Oh, das war der fucking... Nein, das ist aus Spanien. Das ist großartig.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich weiß, aber ich sage, was sind die Chancen, dass wir darüber geredet haben und dann es poppt? Ja, das ist kinder verrückt. Oh, schau dir das an. Okay, also war ich richtig. Wow. Lauren, pausiert das sofort und ich meine sofort. Schnell, schnell, schnell. Okay. Oh yes, I've seen this. This is my favorite group of guys of the week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
This is Richard Weiss and he says it's almost white girl music season. It's always white girl music season. It is four buddies on a very small boat going what looks like a hundred miles an hour through a river.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Dude, can you imagine how that feels? Yeah, it's fucking awesome. What a squad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
For affording Daya. I didn't go. Oh, you had so much money you didn't even feel like you needed to go to Daya. Yeah, that's awesome. They rock, they sure do rock.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Did you hear them coming back down? They were all like screaming bloody murderers. Really? Yeah, we all probably would. They're not real astronauts. They were freaking the fuck out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Sorry, I wanted to show you Katy Perry. This is Mark Byrne.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich habe ein paar Fragen für dich. Ich möchte HighlifeAsia sein, wie er es sein möchte. Ich habe ein paar Fragen für dich. Zuerst, was ist HighlifeAsia? Keine Ahnung, aber ich bin da. Zweitens, wer ist er? Mark Byrne, er ist der Kreator von HighlifeAsia. Er macht das nicht so schlecht. Wait, wait. Go to the caption, Lauren. What is it? Wedding planning service.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Okay, so all of that was for event management, concierge services and entertainment solutions.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
It says up above. That's the first thing it says. Wedding planning service. Oh, fuck. That's okay. We're all learning. We are all learning. It's Lauren's first time living, too.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Yeah, I love him. I feel really bad for him. Why?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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He looks so different in that picture. Come on. He's getting crazy deals.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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He's rentless. He's rentless. I like him a lot. I am kind of shocked he's a real guy. Every deal could change everything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Und danach hat sie uns Visa-Giftkarten gegeben, weil sie wusste, auch wenn das die hilfreichste Sache ist, würde ich lieber die Validierung von ihnen bekommen. Mein Grammy würde uns jedes Jahr L.L. Bean-Fleeces geben. Und ich habe sie gebrochen. Und dann ist es eine der Dinge, wo du nicht merkst, wie viel du eine Fleece benötigst, bis der Grammy dich eine gibt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Sollen wir Bier und Nachos trinken? Nachos. Ich kann nicht. Warum? Ich will sie nicht. Okay, seid ihr bereit? These are Bible verses that don't exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
A man who takes the fry that is dark and soft when he did not pay for the plot for the...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
You know, there's like one that's like really brown. It's like mostly the skin or whatever. No, no, no, no. It's like dark brown and soggy. You can tell it's gonna be soft.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Dark brown and sake. It has a sock-like material. It's not the skin? No, it's like... Lauren, google like dark... Dark brown and sake? Could you just google dark brown and sake? Look up like dark brown fry. Are we getting dark brown fry? No, no, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
No, stay on track. Ja, okay. Es gibt immer einen, die Playmates werden wissen, worüber ich rede. Es ist die Haut der Pfanne. Nein, nein, nein. Es ist die Innenseite der Pfanne. Okay, was machen wir jetzt?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, I don't like those ones. Those are my fave. Yeah, I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
That is often cited by guys who throw themselves in front of cars in New York City. This is Chris911 Chris911 He who listens to the ignored in a group conversation will sit at the left hand of the father when he gets to heaven. Wow, that's really nice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
What does that mean? Sometimes you gotta take a big gulp at the risk of catching a bug, because it's worth it. Why are you taking so long?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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The woman who is willing and comfortable to be the big spoon is the holiest woman on earth. Oh my god, that's all I want.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Und du denkst dir, oh, das wäre eigentlich ein killer Gift.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I like that a lot. This is... Is this our worst Playdate ever? No, this is like the best one. What are you talking about? Really? This is like one of my favorite episodes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
And then God said, he who talks about me too much and makes me his whole personality is annoying and typically a hypocrite. I like that one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Because we're still looking at your phone like there's more. I was just checking if there's any apps. Are there any? Tons. Oh my god. Alright. Wait, I'm not done yet. Oh, sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
This is Kate 612. One of our closest female co-workers. This is... No, it's just funny that you said, I'm trying to think of a woman I don't know. Oh, okay. This is Catherine 612. And then, when you feel abandoned by your creator, is when you will find him in the bosom of a beautiful lady. Wow, bosom.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Okay. I wish boobs were closer together so I could look at both of them at once. I like your titties because they prove I can focus on two things at once. Come on. That's a lyric from a song. That's not how I talk.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I would go out after the tournament to try to look for stuff. And one time I saw Tiger Woods' caddy throw a cigarette on the ground.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Okay. These are things to do now that the weather is nice. Let me do that again. Hey, the weather is beautiful now. What are some of your favorite things to do? Oh, dude, when I was a kid, I would go steal all the neighbor's dogs and make them tow me around town on rollerblades.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Oh, Dude, you got it. Now that it's warm out, go. I was worried my nose was bleeding. Go. That's what he did. Cut that back. He's like, go. Talk to the hand, cause the face ain't listening. Talk to the booty, cause the hand off duty. Oh my god, now it's nice out. Me and my friends used to go find the meanest hornet's nest and grab one, put it on a leash and make it be our pet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Das ist sehr ähnlich zu deinem letzten. Ich habe Catch a Bee and try to teach it a sport. Ich mag das, glaube ich. Was kriegen sie? Wait, wait.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
What sports are bees good at? Buzzball. Buzzball. Wink, butt, flap, butt, butt, sting. Oh my god. Now that there's all this really good, fresh mud, I get it out, put it all in a baking tray, and then I go inside and make mud brownies. Oh, I love that. Yes. What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
They play for the red wings. Red stings. I'm trying to think of something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
What did you say? You didn't shower all Saturday? That's not that insane. I showered on Saturday. No, but what did you say before that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
It's okay. What did you do on Sunday? Literally nothing. That's why I got away. Oh, that makes sense. As long as you weren't out and about. Oh! Then it's stinky. Now that the sun's out, get all my boys together and start a hacky sack club.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I really like him. Yeah. Did I tell you this earlier? No. Oh, yeah. He was great. You looked so unperformed. Yeah. Where? At Jammin' the Band. Das ist das verrückte an L.A. Ich dachte, dass die Leute ständig Arenas machen. Sie kommen zurück auf die Impro und die Comedy-Store. Ich habe die Impro und die Comedy-Store gestartet und es gab drei riesige Namen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich habe mich für einen Job da interviewt, bevor ich hier eingeladen wurde.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ja, wir waren am Sonntag. Es war wirklich gut. Er war sicherlich der Highlight. Ich liebe Jim Van. Lieben Leute seine Sachen? Er ist einer der lustigsten Comedians. Ich war mitten im Set, also sah ich nur den Ende seines. Er ging nicht zuerst. Oh, interessant. Ja, ich glaube, er musste irgendwo anders gehen. Er ist wie jeder Podcast-Club, den ich sehe. Er scheint ein Comedy-Purist zu sein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Er hat keine Toleranz vor Leuten, die schreien und weinen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Let me check if that's alright. If you don't mind just bearing with me. While you're waiting, I'll tell you one. I don't have any more. A man of God should go to church every Sunday as it's the Lord's Day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Was machen wir jetzt? Rusty's Song of the Day. Ich habe das schon lange gesagt. I think this guy is going to be big. He's already gaining some traction, but I think he's going to be huge one day. If you aren't a Sid Simons fan, get ready to be. Wendy by Sid Simons is one of my favorite songs out there. I think he is the best. He makes me happy. And it's like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
You know when you're a kid and your parents are jamming out to music and you're like, I don't get it? I feel how they felt, where you're like, oh, I'm really jamming now. I'll be on the highway and Wendy comes on and I'm like, ooh, we're really jamming now. That's awesome. It's fucking killer. Alright, so. Alright, now we're doing my new segment, Willy's Album of the Week. Yes, yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Well, you can listen to it, because I'm gonna add it to the playlist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Yay. Alright, should we, how should we end it today? I would like to end it with a prayer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Oh, das war so schön. Ich glaube, wir haben nicht gesprochen. Wir haben nicht gesprochen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Was? Warum? Warum würde ich das haben? Es ist wie ein Moment in der Geschichte. Ja, ich denke nicht, dass es das ist. Es ist wie, oh mein Gott, das ist die Zigarette, die Mike Fluff Cohen auf dem vierten Hohen der RBC Heritage 2014 getrunken hat. Yeah, that's pretty funny. Wait, now that I say it out loud, that sounds fucking sick. It'd be like I threw out Napoleon's axe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Wir haben nicht gesprochen. Wir haben nicht gesprochen. Wir haben nicht gesprochen. I want the playmates to know that if I turn up dead, Rusty didn't do it himself. Let me tell you that much. If I ever turn up dead, investigate him. I actually think if you died, I would be suspect number one. Like a crime of passion.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Oh. Oh. You can't watch. And we were like, do you jack off with just the two fingers? He was like, yeah. He's all business, dude. He was like, close your hand, man. He doesn't need all that extra shit. Alright. I am so sorry for the ending of that, guys. I think you guys are doing great. Alright. Any partying thoughts, guys? Oh, what should they comment? Partying thoughts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
And then spam Scorp. And I mean spam it. No, no, no, no, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
fine do it spam scorp spam your favorite emoji oh did you give me rubber all right we love you guys have a great rest of your wednesday have a great uh rest of your week kill it on the weekend relax go hard for one night and then relax uh wait i just spaced out what did you say to them what what day did you say it was i said that it i said have a great rest of your wednesday have a great it's monday
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I mean, if I still had it now, it would be pretty funny. He used to check the wind by putting his cigarette out like this and see which way the smoke went.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Also, I saw you Google Fluff Caddy wife. No, I didn't Google it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I don't want to make generalizations, but I would let Tiger Woods cheat on me a million times to live in the house that she has. Pull it up, Lauren. Look up, like... Look up biggest house ever. Look up... Look up biggest house with guys. Look up Tiger Woods ex-wife Winter Park home.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Yeah, this is it. No, that's not it. But that one's also sick. It is the cool... Look up, like, Lake Virginia, Florida, biggest house.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
House? Biggest house. What is... Okay, that one lit up the second one is hers, I believe. No, that's not it either.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
The point is, that is probably half the size of her house on Lake Virginia. This lake has the... Oh, this is a crazy story. The family that started Bacardi... Of that Bacardi, Le Mans. ...has a house on Lake Virginia. And I don't know the full story. You'll have to Google it. Ich glaube, einer von ihnen... Irgendwie wurden alle von ihnen ermordet. In der Wohnung.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
98. Connor Bedard. Wir wissen schon, dass das er ist, also müssen wir nicht googlen. Das war eine gute Frage. Ja, du sprichst es richtig.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Und es war wie... entweder die Frau oder... Es war wie ein... Es war wie ein Soap-Opera. Ja. Wie diese extrem reichste Familie. Alle sterben in dieser Wohnung. Jesus. Und... Ja. We used to go, you could paddleboard out, take paddleboards out from the boathouse. And what we would do was we would bring some beers. Okay. First of all, illegal, but okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Paddleboard out on Lake Virginia, paddle through a tunnel into a neighboring lake called Lake Osceola. We would tile our paddleboards together and sit there and hang out with beers. Very cool. Which is very fun until you get that Oh, da sind Alligatoren hier. Und dann ist es sehr schrecklich. Yeah. Have you ever been bit by an alligator? No, but I've held one. I've pet one. I've held one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I have killed. I've shot one in the head. Yeah. That's a true story. I'll put a picture right here. Yeah. Tanner's little brother wiped alligator blood on my face. It stinked, right? The blood didn't stink. The alligator was the worst. Alright, everyone close your eyes. Everyone at home, close your eyes. Picture the worst smell you've ever smelled.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Wait, don't some people, like a lot of people listen to this while driving? Yeah. Okay, cool. Picture the, yeah, if you're driving, close one eye. Keep one on the road. Picture the worst, think of the worst smell you've ever smelled. Can you picture that? Yeah. Make it 5% better smelling. Okay. It's that. Bro needed some Guy Fawkes. Yeah, I was testing out all the colognes in our office.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I was hot. Not a winter coat. For our audio listeners, Lauren is wearing giant, giant ski boots and she's got a hat on that says, make America vegan again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Yeah, come on, what did you do? Come on, sister. Let's go. Come on, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Ich hatte eine ziemlich entspannte Woche.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
If you hand me a flash drive right now, I am in my 20s and I don't think I would know what to do with it. Really? I've never used one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Cum Canyon. Oh, bist du in Cum Canyon gegangen? Es ist wunderschön.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Es ist eine Flashdrive. Und es hat funktioniert. Und ich erinnere mich, ich erinnere mich, dass ich so verwirrt war. Das ist so seltsam, einen Flaschgerät zu haben, als einen Jewel.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Und anscheinend sind diese Kinder am Montag bis Freitag gegangen. Und ich würde aufstehen und nicht wissen, was da los war. Und sie haben sich alle auf mich eingeladen und waren dumm, weil ich nicht gut am Coding war. Weil ich 20% der Infos, die sie bekommen, hatte. Und dann am Ende des Jahres fand ich heraus, dass ich jeden Tag da sein sollte.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Also habe ich mein Bestes versucht für die ersten 20 Minuten und dann wurde ich einfach müde. Und ich glaube, ich habe D für die letzten 20 Antworten. Und ich dachte mir, was für ein Wast. of like time and money. And like your brain can rationalize this just being like, I don't give a fuck about this at all.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
He's out the night before and he's like, I got the SAT tomorrow, but fuck it, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
There was a kid on my golf team that I think only missed like two questions. He was like one of those guys that... You wouldn't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Yeah. He also, he was the first kid I ever saw make a grav bong. I thought that was pretty cool. We called it an anti-gravity bong. Wir wussten nicht, was es war.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Oh my god, dude, it sets you on fire. Dude, I got so high last night, it smoked me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I got you. You hit me. Lauren, close your eyes. You bring a boat out to a sandbar, park out there, it's just like a foot of water, you pop a couple beach chairs down, sit there, have a couple twees.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Und ich hatte nur einen Geschmack. Und dann habe ich gesagt, ich werde es mischen. Ich bekomme Zwiebeln. Es hat mich etwa drei Mal so heiß gemacht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
We've all been there. It is crazy to look back on that and be like multiple, multiple nights a week completely turning your brain off and just being like, hope everything goes well tonight. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Not okay. I remember like drinking Four Locos for like, it was like, everyone knew it was not Es war nicht mal so lustig, ich erinnere mich noch nicht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Habe ich jemals zu meinem... Ich denke, dass das der einzige Krimi ist, den ich gemacht habe. Ich denke, dass das Statue of Limitation ist. Du bist der einzige Krimi, den du jemals gemacht hast. Ich denke so, wahrscheinlich. Einen echten Krimi. Du warst... Das ist die Geschichte von Teletubbies, habe ich dir das gesagt? Ich habe es dir schon gesagt. Verdammt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I was sitting on the couch and everyone was saying me and my girlfriend looked adorable and so Emily took a sneaky picture.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Das war schrecklich. Was? Ein Kind aus der Schule hat ein anderes Kind getötet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I didn't have any, like, regular deodorant on me. I'm just gonna say, we were all thinking of it. I was a little skeptical about deodorant wipes. This isn't the future.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
For Margaritaville at Sea. It's the fucking hottest cruise ship.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
The Tube, the underground, what do you call it? No, that's in London. She's taking me to our favorite restaurant on her dime. Nice. And let me tell you, daddy gonna bankrupt her. I'm gonna put her in crippling debt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Should we road map it? He's gonna be funny. What is up with airplane? What's up with kibble these days?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Und ich trage Will. Ich erinnere mich nicht, welcher. Oh, das ist Will. Will kam mit einer Band auf, die heißt Souls for Sale, vor einem Jahr. Und so haben wir eine Tour-Band-Tea gemacht. Das sind ich, Willie, Billy und Dylan. Souls for Sale ist der Name. Und dann auf der Rückseite hat es alle unsere Tour-Daten.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Not toddler, maybe like seven, eight. And I'd never been to a wedding, so I don't know if this was normal. I'd never been to a wedding as an adult, so I wasn't paying attention to these details.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
But I also think, it's like when you're looking at a group of girls or a group of guys, as a whole, as a unit, they look really hot. But if you look at them individually, they're less hot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Describes a phenomenon where individuals are perceived as more attractive when part of a group than when seen alone. Yeah, look, those are all smoke shows, but if you look at them individually, beat. Can you Google Russell Wilson number?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Liz from Seattle. It's a great pitch. I don't like to pick favorites because we're one big Playdate family.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
That is truly, because that's what's so frustrating, is you don't want to come off like a holier-than-thou person and be like, I knew them before you did. But you can be like, you have proof.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ich glaube, es ist wie eine Optionstrategie, wo es mehr um Betten geht als um Investieren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Let's say... Maybe they get a cut. Who knows? All I know is I love it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
There's the question. What song are you buying? I got a good one for you. Let me look. I'm going to buy Will Den Ellens for a single. I think I'll be a fucking millionaire in five years. That's a good pick. What's his name?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ich würde es denken, aber... Ich liebe den Stripper von T-Pain. Du würdest Geld verlieren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
MJ Lenderman? Warum würde er das tun? Warum würde er einen Mann lehnen?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
It's like oatmeal for veterans. Yeah. It's like oatmeal for guys who have seen shit. Yeah, my mom would put honey and brown sugar in it. It was fucking awesome. Grits with butter and cheese.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Like, you need to switch lanes, they let you in. What's the worst part? You feel a little bad?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Du legst deine Hand in den Knopf und du kannst alles machen. Wenn jemand dich nicht mitmarschiert, kannst du auch sagen, fuck you. Und wenn du einen super... Alien verpasst. Ja. Kannst du das machen? Wenn du einen Alien verpasst? Ja. Oh, was ist das?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Also, nur zwei Jahre später. Hast du jemals von der Britannik gehört?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
the britannic was the third and largest of the olympic class ocean liners built by the white star line following her sister ships titanic and olympic okay she was originally intended to be a grand passenger liner like her sisters but was converted into a hospital ship during world war one before she ever carried paying passengers everyone following sure um
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
On November 21st, 1916, while sailing near the Greek island of Key in the Aegean Sea, Britannics struck a German mine or possibly a torpedo. Though most evidence supports the mine theory. Can you picture a mine, Lauren? They were these giant floating things on chains.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Einer der Schiffboote, als es runterging, ich glaube, der Schiff war hoch, also der Propeller wurde ausgeschlossen, und es war die Schiffboote gegen den Propeller zerstört, und der Schiffboote wurde verbrannt von dem Propeller, und das waren die Einzigen, die das gemacht haben. Das ist ein schrecklicher Weg, um zu gehen. Das ist so verrückt. Also sitzen sie da und sagen einfach,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Alright, what do we do? And they just got sucked into the thing. Not very fast. Watch it happen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
So like the propeller was exposed. They're seeing it fucking go like... And it's just like their lifeboat is just inching towards them. Why were they in lifeboats? Because they just got struck by a mine. Or they hit a mine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Also like, it's owned by the same company that owned Titanic. And I had just never heard of this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ja, ich meine, ich dachte nur, vielleicht... Wie all diese wachsenden Menschen... Ja. Vielleicht haben sie die Hörner aus Bubblegum gemacht und... Und alle Bullen waren jetzt eigentlich Kühe, für DEI-Gesetze.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I don't think that would ever work. It's too small. I don't think that I want to do my... I don't want to think I want to... You don't want to do it? You gotta click. Go to it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Hat Liam überhaupt getextet? Liam war einer der ersten, die mich getextet hat. Oh, da ist er. Eigentlich nicht. Liam hat mich in der Nachmittagszeit getextet, aber er hat mich getextet... Er hat mich lange bevor du... Ich glaube, ich habe dich getextet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
This is an idea I have for a sign for will, but it can be used. This is a sign for someone who has plans to get into politics. You say this is practice for when you run for office.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
And he makes a big stink about how she apparently knows how to wave. She just doesn't do it when she should.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I don't know anything about what you guys are talking about. He's having trouble with IBS. He's pooping a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
One of his friends tells him about a spot on your foot that feels really good to itch. And he gets addicted to it. And so he's doing it when he's driving. And he gets distracted and he rear-ends someone. And it's the guy who told him about the spot that feels good to itch. And so he gets mad and says that it's his fault. I like that a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Oh, God. Alright, who's ready for Rusty's Songs of the Day? We are growing at a very, very impressive clip.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Alright, I got What is Life by George Harrison. A lot of people say he had the best solo career out of all the Beatles once everything was said and done. Lauren, are you listening?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ich habe wirklich nichts davon gesagt. Und so wie viele von den Songs, die er nicht auf Beatles-Alben bekommen konnte, hat er für sein Solo-Album gespeichert. Ein normales Verständnis. Viele Leute denken, dass es war, weil John und Paul
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
John and Paul didn't like the music apparently they tried to record these songs like a hundred times and George was the one that was like he doesn't fit I want to hear everyone get Paul's name out of your fucking mouth keep my beautiful life and so I just like it it makes me feel like I'm in an Adam Sandler movie and I'm about to go get the girl back
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
That's funny. Alright, Lauren, tell us all about it. What happened? Hit me. What didn't happen? Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Es ist einfach so, dass es hier Leute gibt, die sich in der Zeit nicht interessieren, was in ihrem Körper entsteht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Willie, I just want to tell you, I, you know, some people go overseas and they, you know, make no effort to fit in and assimilate to the culture.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Those were 14-year-old kids. And you were 14 as well? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Were they like going to the bars? Some of them would go drink, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Again, Willie, I am just... You know, you're doing a... In my defense, that was the year the Mets went to the World Series.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Das ist so, als hättest du einen Austauschstudenten und er trägt ein volles Fußball-Uniformat zur Schule. Ja. Und du denkst dir, okay, Alter, lass uns hier ein bisschen Arbeit machen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
as always playdate is brought to you by triple the original high seltzer redefining the party landscape playdate playdate episode 88 cd lamb oh i was gonna say des bryant aren't they both 88 yeah that's kind of unique they're both on the same team i've never seen sports so Liam's never seen sports. I've never seen sports. What is that? I've never seen sport. I've never seen sports.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
That's drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE for 10% off your order. Triple, redefining the party landscape. What helmet did you rock in middle school? Oh, dude, horrible.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
The first one with that little thing on the front? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yeah, I had the whatever the the shot one that Peyton Manning wore where there was like it was so low that like if someone threw a football at your face, it was like the only helmet where it could make it through. So you were like constantly like worried that someone could like get in there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yeah, sometimes I feel like helmets might make it worse. I think they've done studies that it might be worse.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
There was some old head coach talking about how if we wanted to get rid of concussions, if we wanted to lower it, just get rid of the face mask. He was like, guys would be...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
They obviously caught up to me at the next stoplight and they were all pointing and fucking like they were going to do something. I'm in a, I'm in a three ton metal bicyclist. Yes. Not like biker. Okay. Not like, not like, like, like on road bikes in skin tight. Well, do the, no, you gotta do the other one. What? Motorcycles are vroom, vroom, vroom. Now you got to do bikes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
It was probably the same football camp that they sent our high school to. Was it like no phones?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Oh, there was no internet then. I'm just kidding. Nobody was. Maybe I'm getting the story wrong, but they either didn't have internet or you had to sneak your phones in or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
There was this one kid, I can't remember his name, but they called him Terabyte. I think I've told you this story. Oh, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
they called him terabyte because he snuck in a hard drive with a terabyte of porn on it and so everyone would go up to him and he'd be like how big like are the or how busty are they to fill a terabyte i don't but wait i'll tell you unbelievable this is unreal this was the best part they he kind of pitched it to the older guys like i got anything you need you know like come like i got every category whatever it's the backpack kid with just with porn
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
They told me that apparently if you opened it up on whatever laptop or thing that they would connect it to, it was just only one category and it was all thick. Ebony Squirt? It was all big girls, which like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Why'd they have a football facility?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Otherwise, my brain's going to fail. Do bikes. Ding, ding, ding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they all were pointing at me like they were going to get out and unclip and fight me. I'm in a three-ton metal box. If push came to shove, I'm winning this battle.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
oh he's the best dude he's uh he's in wyoming right now skiing uh he's a great guy he's crushing it beautiful man so fucking i feel like when he asked what's he doing now he didn't mean like this weekend that's how i took it i don't want to dox him yeah yeah fair enough fair enough but that was so funny like what's he up to now it's like oh he's visiting family i think he's at lunch Oh, right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I was probably waking up taking this phone. That's such a funny age to make kids play full contact football because everyone's just wildly different sizes. Yeah. I remember my friend Garrett, his claim to fame was in My dad said in fourth grade, he came over and he took off his shoes. And I was like, those are like grown man shoes. And he checked the size.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
In fourth grade, his A6 were size nine and a half. Like I'm a 10 and a half now. And he was our running back. And we just only ran the ball. Because no one could throw. And Garrett was like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
you know five ten like sixth grade whatever and this poor kid went to tackle him and at the last second got scared and balled up and like put his arms like here and Garrett like lowered his shoulder and broke the kid's arm like on offense and
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I remember this was like one of the last football games ever played the kid panicked and was like wailing his arm around and it was like moving on the axis of where it broke and we were all like oh I broke a kid's leg one time playing flag football I never played tackle my dad is my coach and I was like intercept I Yeah, I intercepted it, I think.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And then I was trying to juke the kid, and I accidentally tripped him, and he fell and just broke his arm and leg or something. It was insane. And I was like, what the hell just happened? And it turns out, I find out later, he has bone-breaking disease. Bird-boned. He's brittle-boned. Not even kidding. Bird-boned. Bird-boned. He's bird-boned.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
They were like, yeah, he's broken his leg like eight times. But he got taken out on a stretcher. And I'll never forget, my dad was a coach and went with to make sure this kid was okay, obviously. And while my dad is out making sure this kid gets in an ambulance and is okay, the refs are like, all right, we got to get going. Start the game back up. And so we just didn't have a coach.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
So we were all just out there just running wild. Gave up like three touchdowns. My dad comes back. He's like, what the fuck happened here? Sorry, sir. We had to start with that. I was like, what? He was technically on the other team. But yeah, it was sick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
yeah click clack on over there was it a big group of them there were 40 of them so they were all on the road they were no it was one nine that's why i said 99 of them were like i had no problem with they were all in the bike lane yeah no problem at all there's one guy it was like what i was saying the other week they like use the cars to draft and it doesn't make any sense you know as a member of the biking community yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
That's awesome. Well, dude, in that team, I think either the team we were playing or in that same flag football league was Rucci, Mike Rucci. He was a Pats guy. He was the coach of one of the other teams. Something Rucci. Can you Google Rucci, Pats, R-U-C-C-I? And his son, I played on his team one year, Hayden Rucci.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And when we were at Wisconsin for the football game last year, they threw him the ball. I was like, holy shit, Todd Rucci.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I did play. I was the third string goalie in JV.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Hell yeah. Third string goalie on JV? Yep. At Academic Magnet? Correct. I was behind Bailey Winter and Jack Barna. It was purely... Bailey Winter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah, they were both just a lot taller than I was. I was tiny. So I think I had a skill set, but it wasn't ever really going to get played today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
it is it is funny like like a lot of kids are just naturally chubby it's not like they're like fat but they're still like athletic yeah then you know what i mean like i remember uh some of the best kids on our lacrosse team like when they when we were like all changing would be like chubby after and you're like how are you this how are you like athletic under there you just have to like outgrow it's crazy to see like oh lineman when they leave the league
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Oh, just like slimmed down? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
He's big. I was doing the same bit. Caleb Swanigan gained a bunch of weight.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Oh, wow. Yeah, it looks great. It looks awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And then like the second they're not. Vince Wilford, like the belly never felt like an asset.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
No, I'm serious. It's the best sport. I care about the Mets more than any other team, but I could sit down and watch any football game between any two NFL teams.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
they made a college football too i love you man the uh thing the thing you said right before liam started talking is like something a random guy like jameson's would that's like trying to join your crew would come up and say to you like walk up to your table when you're watching football like i love football so much honestly like you could put any two teams together and i would watch it willie d is curling his toes as he says i love
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
They roll up into your eyes. My favorite part is I love when they snap it. I like when it goes from one guy's hands. to another um advancing the ball down on the grid iron touchdown oh my god when they touch it down i holy fuck somebody touched me how about how about bc this year huh are you guys all in dude you know i've been all in you guys still you guys still owe me a cake
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
We went to the grocery store and tried to get the cake with your face on it, but they said they don't allow any lewd messages. What was the message going to be? Just a picture of her face.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
BC didn't win the ACC. It looked really good for a second.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
We went and they said no lewd messages. Go to a different place.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Okay. Go to Cake Boss. Cake Boss. Oh, we should go to the Cake Boss. That's not here, is it? Do you guys have Hannaford in Mass? No, I think that's like in New Hampshire. I think that's everywhere above Mass. But you could go to Hannaford and you'd get them to write anything you want on a cake for no extra charge.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And when we learned that, like I started smoking at the same time I got my driver's license. Thank you. And there was nothing more fun than going and making...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
the baker write whatever you thought was funny at the time and then going and checking we'd also like we didn't have anything to smoke out of so you'd buy an apple and a cake and go and the guy would be like what are you guys gonna go do you didn't have anything to smoke out like we didn't like it was the 40s you couldn't you couldn't go to like a like a tobacco shop or whatever yeah like buy a pipe so we'd like make a where'd you get the weed from a drug dealer
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
it's not like a one-stop shop it doesn't sell bongs do fair enough we'd smoke out of an apple and then do you ever see that uh you know world's strictest parents uh this parent it's like a tv show where like they send troubled kids to like a really christian house and they like whip them into shape i gotta watch this because i was a big super nanny guy okay it's kind of like that
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And there was one where they were on a farm and there was like a little bog in the middle of it. And there's an apple floating out in the middle of it. Oh, yeah. Oh, I've seen this. These two kids clearly just smoked out of the apple. And the guy wades into the water and goes and gets it and smells it and it reeked. And they like took away their sheets or something. That's awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Do you have any friends that got sent to one of those wilderness camps for troubled teens? That was just in the sketch. Yeah. Wait, has that come out yet? The sketch that came out yesterday. It was about wilderness teens? Oh, there's a very brief reference to it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I love that sketch. Yeah, it was great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Did you write that? Me and Elise. Elise and I. Sorry. Mostly Elise. Elise and me. Elise and me. I was wondering this when I was watching it. Was there any, like, was it her idea that girls shit on each other once they leave or was that your idea? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Well, I mean, I think if there isn't a bike lane, then as a biker, you're entitled to the road. But I think you're supposed to be, you're supposed to avoid certain roads. Like, have you seen that video of the girl that accidentally got on, like, I-4 on a Lime scooter? Yeah, see how this is like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awesome. Did I ever tell you?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I thought that played actually into your skill set very well. All right, nice. I love Chet. I love Chet. I don't think Angus can pull that off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Because were you going to say that you thought that it was a little degrading towards women? No, I was just, I don't, I'm never there when women are having those conversations. Lauren, do women talk bad about each other once the other one leaves?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. What's the meanest thing you've ever said about another woman, Lauren?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Did you ever get sent to the principal's, Will? Yeah. In high school, I did a few times. It was like our vice principal was like the head of discipline. Yes. It was just like I went to like this nerd school. So it was like there was not like that much like real bad shit happening. So I was the worst offender. And it was just like we like I tell you about like the fork thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
yeah yeah like we figured out like if you throw a fork like this it just sticks right in the ceiling so we were just fork bombing the ceilings and then they found and like we've been doing it for like six months before they found out and then they were like this is thousands of dollars in damage to the school room and we had like a senior lounge and so the senior lounge we would just because we would see how long we get to stay up in there like if you threw it hard enough it would like stay there all day
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
The teacher walks in to, like, see how you guys are doing. He's standing right under the fork. No, no, no, no, no, no. And then we did this 50 forks fall at once after you're getting yelled at.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
You know, he starts bleeding. I took a doll one time and I drew a pentagram on its forehead and I popped a doll out of like a teacher's room. She never knows that I did. I actually didn't get caught for this because they never caught me. I took a doll out of a teacher's room and I drew a pentagram on its forehead and wrote like, class of 2018 runs these halls.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And then I, and then I popped up one, you know, like the ceilings, how they are like those like tiles you can like pop up. Yeah. So I popped on and just like chucked it. And then the next day the teacher was looking for the doll and I was like, somebody stole my doll. And I was like, Your thought was someone's going to find it. Find it. And then it would be like a memento.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
We also had like... We did this thing called Starch Madness that I got in trouble for. It was like during March Madness. Starch. I bought like a potato costume. And we were like running around like eating raw potatoes. It was really dumb. And then... We were getting kids to like, we'd get a kid to smack, I would get smacked in the nuts a bunch. A bunch? And it was like a big ruckus.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
So I-4, if you're not familiar, is the Florida highway. It's the most dangerous highway in America. And we were going to a Jaguars game one time. We were telling our friend who wasn't from Florida or didn't go to school in Florida that this was the most dangerous highway in America. And he didn't believe us. We were more referring to like people crash and stuff.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Like we would take a kid and we'd be like, all right, pick me or him. And then when he picked, regardless of what he did, because no one else wanted to get smacked in the nuts, I'd be like, come on, why'd you pick me?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And then my friend would, like, nail me in the nuts with a raw potato.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And I would, like, keel over. It was, like, real. I don't know. That doesn't make any sense, but it was a thing we did.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And it caused our... It was fun to us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Sounds like a blast. But it was... We would cause ruckuses and all. We'd be running around. We'd be... I'd pretend to pee my pants on Old People Day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yes. Yes. Yes. Spring is almost here. Guys, it's time to shake off those heavy layers and bust out those beautiful thighs. Whether you're on spring break, heading to a backyard barbecue, playing around in golf, or delivering a podcast ad read, Chubbies has the styles for any spring occasion. Willie. You love Chubbies almost as much as I do. Almost. Almost. What do you love so much about them?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I love that they're stretchy. You know what I mean? They don't trap my nuts, if I may say that. Dude, trapped nuts. One of the worst positions to have your nuts in. I feel comfortable in them, and I know that I look good. And that is a balance that is hard to find. And I will say Chubby tees it up on a tee ball and knocks it out of the park.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
All right, guys, we're here to talk about one of our new favorite partners, Dollar Shave Club. Stubbled, bearded, clean-shaven, or mountain man, Dollar Shave Club is for everybody and every budget. Whatever you shave, welcome to the club. I'm going to be honest with you. I've said this before.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I definitely thought that Dollar Shave Club was just razors, but I have come to learn through working with them that it is so much more than that, and I could not be more grateful that it is because they've got things like this shave butter, this prep scrub. You've got the shave cream over there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
They've got everything that you need to make sure you have the best shave possible delivered right to your door. Back to the razor department, I do want to say, The club series six blade razor. Unbelievable. It is like a mini vacation for your face. It makes me feel like I could climb Mount Everest. And that's a feeling I want to feel every day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Personally, I don't have the it doesn't give me the ambition of that, but it gives me like a classy feel. It's heavy. It's got like what do they call it? Like the diamond grip. Yes. Yeah. On the, on the handle. You're holding it and you're like, this thing's not going anywhere. Yeah. But don't take our word for it. Try for yourself. Dollar Shave Club products are now available everywhere.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
We weren't saying like there's violence. And then we drive past like a crime scene. Like it's like caution taped off with like cones. And we're like, it's odd. Like it didn't look like a car wreck. It was like there were forensics people there. Yeah. We Googled it. And two rival biker gangs ran into each other and started fucking spraying at each other. Okay, got it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And remember, whatever you shave, welcome to the club. Let's get back into the episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
It was a creative outlet, man. How do they have locks and air horns? That's my question.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
They banned senior pranks because when I was a kid, they usually were like lighthearted and fun and creative. And then I guess like there's every once in a while there's like a grade where there isn't like a good creative mind there. And what they landed on was... They were going to cover all the doorknobs in peanut butter so all the kids with allergies couldn't come to school.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And then they destroyed a bunch of ceiling tiles. It just wasn't funny. And I think a couple kids lost their acceptance to colleges because it was a crime. The peanut butter thing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
It was just vandalism. Yeah, I shut down our senior. There were some rumblings about it, and I was just like, whatever happens, I'm going to be held liable for it. I knew that the target would be on my back, so I was like, I don't want. Why would it be on yours? Because I was the obvious culprit. Because I was the guy running around hitting myself in the nuts with potatoes in the hallway.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Started spraying at each other. Jesus. Apparently, it's pretty hard to aim when you're on a bike. Yeah. No one got hit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
This guy rules. One of the last weeks of senior year, I remember we found the textbook closet. We opened some random door and found where they stored all the textbooks. And so we built a huge fort out of them to where if you open the door, it's just a big stack of textbooks. But we had a little compound behind them. And I brought my PlayStation and we took a monitor out of one of the classrooms.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And so we would just go out of class, hide in the textbook closet, and play 2K all day. And one time the vice principal came in to get a textbook and moved a book and was like, what the hell? And it was, but it was like the last week of school. She was like, I'm so fucking done with you. She found like the rumor requirement.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Do you have to shoot the head of the guy? You got to lead him. Yeah. I don't know, actually.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
roadmap roadmap we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches and then we're gonna do the permitting division of the building department followed by everyone's favorite segment say it with me teach me something followed by oh also wait did you guys see the comments
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yeah. Like we said, comment if you like all the theme songs. And there were like eight comments on Spotify. I was like, we do not like the theme songs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Okay, then we have This Guy Rocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
No. All right, let's not give it to him today and then see if people want him back. All right, followed by names for your group chat and new ways to say you're high. Lauren, let's get into it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
They pop out of the wheels. There's a turret on the back of one. The only person that got hit was, if the TV was working, we could probably pull this up, someone's girlfriend got sniped off the back.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yeah, why don't we just, we'll do our three each, and then we can rattle off honorable mentions.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Wait, what was the first one? What was the second one? A bocce group that matches you with other groups so you don't get stuck with a table of total duds. That's great. Nice. Those are both great. What was the first one I missed? First one?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
It'll be like at your funeral, there'll be a wax statue of you as a baby, as a toddler, as a middle schooler, as a high schooler, as a young adult, as an adult.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
As a pirate. You get one fun one. Yeah. All right, let's do a silly one now. I love that. I would just make all of mine really hot, though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
that's great have you ever seen you know that next week news guy yeah yeah the one where he's he does like a news report for what's gonna happen next week that's smart yeah one week it was the nfl introducing a rule that after every uh field goal an extra point the kicking team gets to do one silly one oh yeah i did see that that was great that kid's fucking hilarious uh wait can you break down the hibachi one for me
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
yeah it's like you're going to hibachi and sometimes you're at a table with total duds so this way you can pair up with another group of like fun young people so total studs total studs or like doesn't everyone think they're fun no like i wouldn't be like if it was at the table of like me angus you guys are fine but if it's like me angus falbo
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I'd be like. Lupica. Motts. Joe. It's like you, Angus, Lupica, Motts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And Kate. Dream blonde. No, Kate's just dud. Not in that way. Dude. Not in the way that she's supposed to be. Tell them what happened when Kate was trying to tell us, like, important news. Oh, thank God you reminded me. I think I actually wrote this down. I have to tell the story. Kate got, oh my God.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
She's a producer on the unscripted team. So for the unscripted YouTube stuff that Jack and I, Rusty and I work very closely on. I'm a scripty. You're a scripty. Yeah. You want to see my impression of Liam in the unscripted meetings?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
line hits every time uh so we have she's our unscripted producer so we work very closely with her and uh she is apparently moving to she's going to be working in podcasts she's going to be producing podcasts um new podcasts that we have coming out i don't know if you knew this she comes into our office to tell us this big news basically. Cause okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
He probably didn't lead him. He probably was aiming at the guy. He curved around. I've seen a lot of Jets quarterbacks do the same thing over the years.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Our other, our president of our company had been showing around this girl that he's mentoring from his college. Who's doing this like mentorship program where she comes to LA for a semester and she's working in like an agency or something. And he's, you know, meets with her and stuff, um, as her mentor. And so Kate had not told us that she's going to be leaving our team.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And our president, Andrew was showing her this girl around the office and came by and was like, oh, this is Kate. Kate, meet whatever. Kate's our unscripted producer, but she's actually moving over to podcast soon. And our office is right next to Kate. So Kate thought that we had heard that and we're like, what the hell? That's how we found out that she was leaving our team.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Should be kind of weird circumstances. We coincidentally were both not in the office there, so we hadn't heard anything. So Kate comes over. She closed the door. She's like, hey, guys, want to kind of have like serious conversation for a second? Like, I don't know if you overheard what Andrew was saying, but I wanted to let you guys know that, you know, or sorry, she rewind.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
She said the way she delivered it was like, hey. I don't know if you guys overheard what Andrew was telling his mentee, but I didn't want you to have to hear it that way, but I wanted to let you know that I'm going to be leaving our team and moving over to the podcast department.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I'll still be around, and we don't know exactly when this is happening, all this stuff. And I was like, oh, my God, are you excited for this? She was like, yeah. I was like, oh, that's great. We'll be sad to see you leave, but that'll be great. And this kid, Rusty, she goes, whoa, Ken Ward's mentee?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And she was like, uh, like, it's like a program through his college. But anyway, it's going to be a big change. And, you know, I'll be there to facilitate. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
What is what department? Like, what is his mentee doing here? Like, is she in here every day? Anyway, proceeded to never once ask a question about her leaving our team or say, like, good for you or like. At the very end you did, but the whole time you were just like, what's the mentorship program? I was curious about this mentorship program. He just, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
She broke us big news and he just was so hung up on this like minor detail of like the way she introduced it. Your shirt's missing a button. Yeah. What the fuck is going on here? He's like, well, I don't, if she's in college, how is she here now? Wouldn't she have classes? And she's like, I don't know. It's like a semester program, but like, gotta be honest with you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
That sucked. I didn't deliver that well at all. I got really overwhelmed. Halfway through it, I was like, holy shit, I'm still cooking on this. You ever listen to a story, and you can tell it's going to go on for a little bit, and you're like, all right. Well, that's how I felt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
You ever tell a story, and you realize, which has required so much setup, because you have to know who Kate is, Kenward is, Mentee is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
You have to know what a Mentee is. You have to know. All right, true hair, second pitch. Ah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
You're Voldemort. You're Voldemort.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
He's Harry. We called them. Did you not hear that? I'm Harry. I'm Hermione. I'm Ron. Voldemort. Fuck you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Slytherin head ass. Is he Slytherin? Tom Riddle? Maybe read a book, dickhead. No, he's a Hufflepuff, you fucking dork. Well, Voldemort himself is Tom Riddle. Did he get sorted? He's Tom Riddle, you moron. It's a different guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
The seat's like rubbing on the tire. Like when motorcycle culture, like if you're in that, like you're just always going somewhere. Like what if you, like you know what I mean? Like what if you just want to stay around?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I always wanted to be Hufflepuff, but when I did Pottermore, I got Gryffindor.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
She Huffle on my puff till my Ravenclaw. Cool. I took the test, and I wanted to be Hufflepuff, but unfortunately... I was Gryffindor. So we're all Gryffindor. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, unless you take the quiz and you're like actively trying to be something else. If you do any, if you have any like rational thoughts, it's going to put you in Gryffindor. Tyler's friend was a Hufflepuff. Cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
What was the pitch? Who? Rob. I want to hear Preston's pitch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
What's the question? You have to, like, move all your... Oh, my God. What is the worst part about cleaning up around the house? You have to do it. You have to do it yourself. Poop? Getting the poop out of the bathroom?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yep. I like the idea of like hovering over certain, like you can like go up over like a step and like get that and everything like that. Yeah. Guys, this episode is brought to you by Twisted Tea. Twisted Tea is a refreshing, hard iced tea made with brewed tea and 5% alcohol. Here are some truths. Let me tell you. Break it down for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
It tastes like a real iced tea because it's made with real brewed tea. None of that fake nonsense that you might see in some other stuff. Real brewed tea with a kick. I'm talking 5% ABV, boy. It's full of flavor and it's super refreshing. Here's my favorite thing. Sometimes I'm thirsty, but I also want to drink. Yep. And like a beer is not going to do that for me. It's like carbonated, whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
This is zero carbonation and it goes down smooth. And I'm killing two birds with one stone. I mean, dude, we're going this week to Florida.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
We're going to be golfing, hanging out, going to baseball games. What's better to have in your hand than twisted tea? I mean, this is twisted tea weather. Let me think for a second.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Some of them just... But they just go drive around and then go home? Yeah, I think it's like... I mean, where... If you're in a car, you're always going somewhere.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Bang. Come on. Yeah, I'm actually so excited.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I'm going golfing with my dad on Saturday, and I think I might throw about 1,400 of these in my backpack. Can you close your eyes for a second? Done. Picture this. Ice cold ice box.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
filled to the brim with every flavor of twisted tea done willie they're so cold there's like there there might even be a couple ice chips in there damn right that's hole-in-one fuel guys twisted tea is the perfect drink to keep the good times going all day long whether you're hanging out at a friend's house at the bar on a weekend getaway or just looking to let loose twisted tea is here to turn your day up a notch and make a good time a great time and let me tell you if you're out there keep it twisted hey i'm going to charleston soon
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Go see my buddies and stuff, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I would do that. You could do stand-up, too, if you wanted to. Yeah, I got that one joke about... I was born on 9-11. Care for what you wish for.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yeah. What was there something that happened recently? I was like, that's my stand up. I'll tell you later when I think of it. Okay. All right. What is the worst part about building a dresser? We're building anything. It's taking a long time. It takes a long time. It comes in a million different pieces. You have to sort it, whatever. I've never understood.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Why don't they just make a thing that collapses into itself, and then when you open the box, you just pull it up, and it goes upright, and then you lock a bunch of stuff in, and now the dresser's there. It takes up the same amount of space.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Anyway, we got a guest today. Our good friend Liam Keller. Boston kid. We're supposed to do intros now. So if you don't know who Liam is, Liam, you've probably seen him do standup or, uh, he does sketches on the almost Friday TV channel, but most importantly, he's just a good friend. Thank you, man. Yes. Thank you guys. Um, I have to get something off my chest and we can get into the fun part. Um,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Unless you're really... Get a fresh start.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
No, it's like it opens like an accordion. And then you lock all the joints in place and then your dressers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Can you? No, it's stuck once you lock.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
There's no noise. It's stuck? It's like it's built once you lock it. So it's not like an accordion at all. Stuck? Where is it stuck? Washing machine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I guess you're right. I get what you mean, Will.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Just tell me you fucking did it. You ever seen these mattresses they'll ship you and they're tiny?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
The mattress thing is, is like a race against time. Cause the second you cut the seal, it starts inflating in the bag and you have to like, yeah. Yeah. The mattress thing's cool. I would say what's on your headband.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I know what you mean, too. It's going to be a hard time. Wait, what were we just talking... Before we started the... Oh, we were talking about neck. We're going to talk about getting neck, dude. The comment on the AFTV video about how the guy had never seen a chin and neck look like that. That shot of me. Which we would pull up if we had the TV.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
That threw me off. All right, Willie, pitch us. Okay, what is the worst part about traveling with hats? Taking it off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Smushed. Like, you can only bring one hat when you travel. Yeah. I put a bunch in my suitcase every time I go somewhere.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And you just get them all smushed?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
They don't get smushed. They just put them in their own little space. Okay, I guess are you only talking about like flimsy hats? Yeah. Like if you have a hat like Liam's. Oh yeah, you'd be all backed up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yes. And novels. Vignettes. Minions. Okay, so this is the hat traveler. The hat case. I haven't really totally nailed the name, but it's a hat-shaped hard shell container that you can put your hats in, lock it, put it in your suitcase.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
The hats completely remain intact, and you can travel without concern.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
No, it's the shape of a hat. More or less. It's like a CD case for your hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
It's like a Pringles can for your hats. It's like, you know what? It's more like a Doritos bag for your hats. Google hat travel case. Oh, my God. What are we doing? I'm doing our podcast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Should we do... I mean, that's not going to fit my suitcase.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
All right, Willie, teach me something, brother. Okay, this is going to seem a little crazy in light of what we were just talking about, but do you know about the radio hat? I'm not kidding. This was marketed in the late 1940s. It was a way to have a portable radio. The tech wasn't that you couldn't just have headphones that had portable radio, but if you got a hat, it was big enough.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
So they would sell these things. It looks like they're from the future. Google Radio Hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yeah, and it connects to the radio. Wait, so it would play in your ears?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
No, you're right. When I was in middle school, I think I've told you guys this already, I really wanted to be... I don't know if I wanted to be one, but I really envy the mailman because I would look out the window of my Spanish class and he was out there. It was always so nice out and we didn't get to go outside because the recess was done.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And I remember just looking at him and thinking he had the greatest life in the world. And then I got older and I still kind of think that, but I'm glad I didn't pursue that. Yeah. All day he's just chilling around in a cool car, bringing people gifts. They get a lot of steps in. Listening to music all day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Pop Warner is like nationwide. It's like Pee Wee, like the little kid league.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
That's a guy. I don't like... He was a guy. What? Pop Warner? Pop Warner, yeah. At some point. It was? Yeah. The real guy? Yeah, yeah. Sick name. I don't like when people are youth coaches that have no reason to be there. I think it's odd. Oh, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Put a picture right there. Once Playdate gets to like 100,000 subscribers... I'm getting neck surgery. You're not going to know how much money we're making, but Will and I are both going to get chin implants. There'll be signs. But I was going to say that my little cousins were visiting my family up in Maine. I wasn't there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I don't know enough about football, but I feel like I wouldn't head coach. I could figure out soccer. My friend John's dad coached our basketball team, and he had a really funny jump shot. It was efficient, but it was just like he had a long pause before he shot it. We just gave him hell every day for it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
In the winter, it is six inches shorter than it is in the summer because the metal expands and it grows. Isn't that odd?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I feel like the way their legs are, that does kind of check out. But I've definitely seen them jump back and kick, right? Not directly backwards. Oh, massive tail. Oh, I see what you're saying. That's from a Daniel Tosh joke. So if you can close the gap... They have no way of getting away.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I always... After I saw that video, do you remember that video where the kangaroo got... Dude, it's like walking through... Yes, like outside their door. Scary.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I don't even want to tell it anymore. Fuck, dude. I'm sorry about that. Is it the one coming up the glass?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I'm sorry that you don't want to tell it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
No, the kangaroo got the dog, and the guy goes up and squares it. Look up guy saves dog from kangaroo. He goes up to the kangaroo, has his dog. He goes up, gets the dog out of its hands, and squares it. Yeah, watch this. It's fucking badass. He squares up to it like they're about to fist fight, and he does fist fight it. It's awesome. Oh, yeah, this fucked up tree. That corner. Watch this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
See, he's trying to do it to the dog. Hey. Hey. Hey.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
No. No, that was in Australia. Buddy, you new here? The news said Miami.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yeah. Oh, our dance teacher. Are we allowed to talk about that? Yeah. Our dance teacher last night, I was like, what are you doing after you graduate? She was like, I'm moving to Australia. Oh, shit. Isn't that crazy?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
But apparently my brother, they were like eating... Because we got the same build. We got that Sweeney chin. It comes from my mom's side of the family. And my, you know, the Sweeney's.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
In Bangkok? That's a big ask. Unless you're one of my best friends in the world, I'm not going to Bangkok.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I'm not. They just went to Bangkok.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
All right, Lauren, put the volume on for this. Let me get some context real quick. Wait, what segment are we in now? We're on This Guy Rocks. This guy rocks. This guy rocks. This guy rocks today. Oh, sorry. So we're all guys. We like drinking beer. Yep. We like drinking ice cold beers. We like fucking talking shop. We like slapping butts. We like looking at chicks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. All the stuff we like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
i had that our uh i put that on my wall and my cleaning lady took it down when i was a kid yeah probably gave it to her son to crank yeah um nice lady and one of the hardest parts about being a guy is getting all 30 beers out of the 30 rack into the fridge takes like five minutes this guy figured out how to do it in one fell swoop let's watch it learn
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Stan playing in the background. That's awesome. I really thought it was going to work. Dude, I did too. I was like, oh my god, this is going to change everything. That's awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
This is a guy who got a new coat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
It's a duck. If you're listening on audio, it's a duck. I always think that's kind of cruel. Why? He looks so cool. Because what if he doesn't want to, like when people like stuff their dog into like a jacket and boots, I'm like, he didn't ask for that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
People do to their kids and you don't complain. The kid can be like, I don't want to wear this. The dog could bite him. I don't want to wear this. The duck is saying, I don't want to wear this. But it has sleeves, so it's not full.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I picked up on that. He said that like it was like a known thing. Yeah, it's the Sweeney Chin. We both got a classic Sweeney. She gave me that Sweeney Chin last night. But anyway, our little cousins came, and apparently they were like relentlessly telling my brother that he had a week. Because I think they're falling into all this young, bright pipeline.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
He's a conscious member of society. The duck knows English.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Write your congressman? All right, Liam, you're the guest, so you get to choose. Would you rather do new names for your group chat first or new ways to say your hi? Let's do group chat names first. Okay. Willie, tee it up for us. All right. I think you got to intro them sometimes. Okay. I feel like I always do it. That's a nicer way to say that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Well, I always think they do better when Will starts it. But then you always get the first one. True. These are new names for your group chat. Premarital texts. Alaskan bush people. The Inner Sanctum. Chicken Noodle Group. Boob Doc Saints. The Odd Squad. Naked Mole Chat. Scotch Tape Mummies.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
That was very fun. The Scrotum Brigade. Wow, I like that. Well, great. And then I also had just Guys I Hate. That's a good one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Oh, I get it. What's your group chat called with your hometown friends? I don't have one. That's a lie. I don't. Do you have a group chat with your buddies from high school or something?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I don't really talk to my high school friends that often.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Oh, we'll put this video here. I can't remember who I was showing this to yesterday. I have this app called Swipe Wipe. If you've been listening, you know. It's Tinder for your camera roll so you can get rid of old stuff and it cleans everything up. But when a funny one comes across my desk, I send it in our old college group chat. And our friend, he'll remain nameless.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
We'll blur his face because I think he has like a real job now. But we would go to the Arnold Palmer Invitational every year.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
uh which is a golf tournament in at bay hill and uh and they were sitting in the grandstands i wasn't with them when this happened but you just see him he takes his shoes off and then he jumps off the grandstand into what he thought was going to be like waist high water it's just ankle deep and so he lands in the three-point stance and then adrenaline takes over and he runs away and they let him stay but the video is insane they let him stay the tournament
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I would love to. Sean, I think Sean and I have a similar, sometimes I think you're, sometimes I think you're testing me to see if I'm actually watching. No, no, no. Okay. You and I have a good groove going. I have some that go to you and my friend Seamus, and then I have some that go to Chet and go to Phil.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Well, they've been mewing since second grade. So that's it. They were like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And then Willie, I have to save for a special occasion because he gets overwhelmed if I send him more than one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
lauren and i's dms are just only like dogs dogs and like cute things um i realized will dm me yesterday a woman uh was at pet smart and got shot in the face with a crossbow not at pet smart what did you not look closely i gotta now i gotta send this to one wait did i miss the joke liam what's your no it's a real news article it's just there's a there's the funniest thing about the whole thing i just slacked it to brian
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
you you have a weak like jawline like you're not a man like you need to start mewing like my seven they all have like chiseled my i yeah i don't i don't know they're kids they have like kid faces but they were like eating my brother alive and being like you have such a weak jawline like how will you ever get a girlfriend you have to start mewing you have to start mewing my brother's like by the end of the weekend he's like i was so fucking sick of these kids like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
We have a fantasy football one with high school guys, and it's called Anal Blast Off Toy. Jesus, guys. That's way worse than this. Hear me out. I made it. Perfect anagram for fantasy football.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Like a Voldemort type thing. I don't get it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Someone just made it that. Since we discovered Band of Brothers, there's a 30-person group chat called Easy Company. I like that. This is a real news article from CBS New York. You want to see something fucked? Yeah, this is the profile picture for the group chat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Liam, look at this news article from CBS New York.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
No, stay on it. Woman shot in face with crossbow at New Jersey pet store. The name of the pet store is Birds by Joe 2.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yeah, this is the most ridiculous news article of all time. That's like a thing that like Thai restaurants do is like once they open a second one, they just add two to the name. All right, should we do new ways to say your hi? Also, how are there two bird stores? Best comment is birds by Joe one is safer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Oh. I don't know what that is. What is that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
You ever heard of the dog whisperer? He's that, like, Mexican guy that, or he's that Hispanic guy that, like, dominates your dog until it submits. Interesting. Good save. I'm really fucking scared right now, guys. He's neither.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Please, please, please leave my house.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I need somebody to snap me out of this good lord. I'm smoke jumping. I'm air tagged. I like that. I'm done now. I'm thinking of things no one's thought before. I'm over the horizon. I'd prefer to be alone right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yeah. Marijuana overdose? He just died. From smoking pot? It was a marijuana overdose. I got a bunch more.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
dude see like i think if like any little kid said to me even if he's my cousin i'll be like i'm gonna make i'm gonna give you a memory for the rest of your life i'm gonna tell you something about your parents that you shouldn't know at this age yeah if uh i think the only way to handle that is you say okay and then you go find a picnic table you get them to stand up on it you grab both of their ankles and you swing them around you throw the kid as far as you possibly can
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
All right, Liam, final thing before we say goodbye to the playmates. Whose personality are you going to steal this week?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Val Kilmer and Heat. Nice. I'm going to steal early 2000s Usher's personality because Will and I have a big dance coming up and I want to really give it my all. Yeah, I'm going to steal James Holzhauer's personality. Who dat? Sports gambler. Because we're going to Vegas. We're going to win it all.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Is she Irish? Oh, yeah. Same. Come on, brother.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
No, I meant both of our girlfriends are Irish.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Well, obviously. I mean, you wouldn't date outside. Yeah, we're not going to tarnish our bloodline.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
A race traitor is someone who invested in NASCAR when they went public. I think I might be going to Flip Turn tonight. Don't you have a show tonight? What the hell is Flip Turn? Band. What is Flip Turn? I actually think I've heard of Flip Turn. I want to tell you something. I love almost everything about Will Denon.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
One of the most frustrating things about being friends with him is every three days he has a new favorite band. This isn't my favorite band. They're just a band I like in town. Okay, this is the first time you haven't said, this is my new favorite band. I never said Future Birds is my favorite band. It's like he's making up a name every single time. Flip Turn's awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Lauren, whose personality are you going to steal?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
What are you going to do this weekend? I'm going to try this new Japanese restaurant tonight. And then tomorrow, I am still on the fence about bottomless brunch. And then Sunday, I'm going to set the record for least times gotten out of bed. Nice. Fuck with that. PR.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
We're thinking cosmic encounter on Sunday. Angus tell you about that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
What is that? That board game we played with Luke. Oh, I'm done. Angus and I bought it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I want to play Secret Hitler again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Scott Pilgrim Saves the World. You ever seen that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Lauren is saying she has a dinner party. Reminded me I am going to this guy's house tomorrow night on Saturday night. And the description that has been given to me is he's the only person I've met that's louder than you. So I'm me. So I'm going to have to deal with that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Santa Monica. All right, we love you guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I didn't think of that. Did he do that? No, I think he did the poop in his suitcase, but... Why is the... Have you gotten those... That's a pretty good one. Have you gotten those ads for the thing that you chew on to make your jaw stronger? It's like Andrew Tate and all those guys advertise it. It is strange that...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Can I give you a move that I've been doing lately? When I go on someone else's pod or anytime it's like someone asked me to plug something, I plug something that's not something that I do or I just give people a piece of advice. What advice would you give to the Playmates? Slow it down. Yep. Slow it down. Slow it down this weekend. Slow it down today. Living too fast. Yeah. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
We love you guys so much. We will see you guys on Wednesday. Have a great rest of your Monday. Have a great Tuesday. We'll see you guys midweek. Love you. Woo!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
they're mostly just peddling like political stuff but then also a very important part of that culture is having a very strong jawline yes it's uh all great leaders have strong jawlines it's true yeah wait who was saying something about like we were talking about that john ham thing Wait, who's... Oh, where he hazed? Yeah, he, like, pulled a guy. He pulled, like, a cow poker between the guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
No, it was a hammer. He'd pull a guy around by his nuts with the sharp part of the hammer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Smoking spliffs? Like you rolling them? Yeah. Do you ever see the joints I used to roll?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Oh, dude, you should have seen Will's joints. Will rolls the worst joints. It's sick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Turn that TV on. Mustard! You could get up into the attic from my bathroom if you climbed on the counter. We'll put a picture of it right here. The smoke couldn't go, at least in my head, the smoke couldn't go back down. It had to go out. I was on the third floor. My parents were so far away, they couldn't smell it if I was up there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I remember just going up there for the first time, putting on Spodeody Dopealicious. You ever heard that song? that sounds like what is that it's an out it's a andre 3000 song oh and it's like seven minutes long but i remember are you gonna say outcast i think it might be outcast okay i don't know if it's both of them i've actually seen andre 3000 i have too i saw i never tell you sorry where
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I want to preface this by saying 99% of these people are not the problem. Oh, God. I typically never have a problem with bikers, like road bikers. Bikers. Bikers. I rarely have problems with them. I appreciate people getting out there, staying fit. I think if you're passionate about something, you should be able to do that. But I have one question for bikers out there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Do you want to go first? Live? So I was walking down my street and Andre 3000 walked by me. I was like, holy shit. In Venice? He lives in Venice. So then I looked it up. I was like, what the fuck? Was that Andre 3000? I didn't say anything because I was caught off guard and I didn't want to be racist. Anytime I see any black celebrity. Especially because he's not one I see that much.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
He's not in the public eye that much the last 10 years, I feel like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I've seen Calvin Johnson eight times. That happened to us at a Rams game. There were like... Let's probably cut that, by the way. There was a group... We'll just move on, actually. And we're back. I saw Andre 3000 and I told these guys about it. And then the next day he comes in and he says, while listening to OutKast, I saw Andre 3000 today. Well, that's the story.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
It was actually one of the coolest things that ever happened to me. I mean, it was clearly that he had in his head that Andre 3000 lives over here and then saw a black guy crossing the street while listening to OutKast. No, because I described what he was wearing and Lauren Googled it. And it was literally, there was a picture of him wearing the same beanie.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Because I had said that that's what he was wearing when I saw it. I was pulling out of a parking garage. I had all my windows down. I was listening to Miss Jackson and Andre 3000 jaywalked in front of my car. The day after I saw him for the first time. You were listening in your car? Did you turn it up? It didn't even register with me until you realized you needed a story for the podcast. No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
It happened and it was cool. The day after I saw him. He uses that against me? That makes sense. It means he was in the area. And then he went to Brentwood and started jaywalking? This was in Santa Monica. I've told you this a hundred times. It was in Santa Monica. It was right down the street.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yeah. That's so odd. I opened... I think he followed me the other day. Yes. And then I opened...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
google last night in my last search was him and i was like that's i don't even remember doing that i never connected the dots as to why i googled yeah he was a fullback for the browns so i thought he the reason i googled him was because he was number like 40 on the browns and i thought he was the fullback that was on madden 12 like the cover peyton hillis i thought it was him no run it that's a running back he's a really return specialist you know peyton hillis was
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I don't think so. He had one really good year at running back. Unbelievable season. Madden was like, yeah. The Madden curse.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Are you currently qualifying for the Tour de France? If the answer is yes, great. You can be in the road. If not, the bike lane in Los Angeles, or at least the road that I'm referring to, is ginormous. Stay in the bike lane. And then when I give you a little pop up because you're in the road going 20 miles an hour, don't make me feel like the bad guy. What did they do to you?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And I had a few of them while re-watching the 2011 Johnny Depp classic, Rango, the other night. And boy, do I tell you, that shit has me ready to be a cowboy and maybe even be a lizard and certainly take down Rattlesnake Jake. These are awesome. They're 15 to 20 calories, which you cannot beat. And guess what? No hangover the next day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
That's a bad friend. It spawns a presumably fully naked, wet, middle-aged man who pursues you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
It's 15 minutes. We just sit here and watch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Are there things you miss about living in New York?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Ooh, relationship green flags. Getting along with my friends. Being just an overall kind, respectful person. I feel like I try to emulate that. So it's like I want that in a person, in a partner. Yeah, what about you?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I have. I have not used BetterHelp, but I did do therapy for six months. And honestly, I
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
gained so much valuable information from it like i really feel like i walked away just like feeling more confident myself and just overall better a lot of tools to kind of like combat your anxiety and i could not recommend it more better help is fully online making therapy affordable and convenient serving over five million people worldwide access a diverse network of more than 30 000
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I'm doing well. You got MVP'd earlier. What's new? Wait, why? Oh, yeah. No, I fully believe that. I'm extremely gullible. I don't know if you've watched our pranks that they've done on me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I don't know. I don't like to assume that people are lying to me. Yeah, I think that's a good policy. I see the best in people. But now they've given me trust issues.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Well, yeah. Everyone's going to come over and we're going to try on as many wigs as we can. What do we think? That's a great idea. Thank you. I like that better.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
No, I know. We're going to do it eventually. We just...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Yeah. Me and my best friend just moved into an apartment together. So we were like, Oh, it'll be like a little housewarming, but I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I just slowly am taking them from people as they get more drunk. I'm like, oh, I actually like that one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
All right. This pitch is from Noah Bandick. He says... Noah Bandick? Bandick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
What's up, Lauren and the Roofians? Is that how you say that? Ruffians. Oh, Ruffians. I knew I was going to mess it up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I've got two pitches, but one name. What is one of the most dangerous things about road tripping? Oh, I get it now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
What is the worst or what is the most dangerous thing about road tripping alone?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
He says, swapping between playlists and podcasts. Trip, like while you're driving. Tripless is an app that you can put in your playlist, YouTube videos, podcasts, or sports broadcasts. It will curate a playlist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
You want the occasional, like... Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Okay. You're right. I'm sorry. It's okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
When I'm on the road, I'm always swapping between Spotify and podcasts like Playdate or other videos. So this allows you to safely and seamlessly go between your chosen inputs with the tap. Get bored of listening to your music. Just hit skip and it'll shuffle between all your chosen media. And then this is kind of a two in one. My second idea, what's the worst part of tripping? That's right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Knowing what to watch based on how you were feeling. Tripless is an app that uses AI facial recognition to tell if you're having a good trip or a bad trip.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Well, yeah, because in the beginning he said it's two pitches but one name. So it's like road tripping and then this is about tripping.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
TripList is an app that uses AI facial recognition to tell if you're having a good or bad trip. It then changes what you're watching based on that. Having a bad time? How about some peaceful nature documentaries? If that doesn't work, I'll switch it up to try something else to get you back from having a good trip. Thank you for your time. Love the pod. Keep up the great work.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Yeah. Okay. Thank you, Noah. This next one is from Sammy Dubs. Sammy says, what is the worst part about being under the weather? You never know what exactly is wrong with you. And you can exactly fix the issue. Now introducing the BioBeacon. It is a chip that is implanted into your central nervous system that detects any issues with your bodily functions, organs, etc. It can detect...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
it can detect diseases entering your body and what you can do to help it it works a lot like a car's check engine lights letting you know there's an issue then running full diagnostics on your body to see what you can do to fix the issue for example the chip will detect low hydration levels will then notify you possibly connected to an app on your phone that you need to drink water this one's great but it's just one of those ones where it's like is the technology there yet
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
it was good i didn't see any poison so okay i feel like i would like this pitch uh beyond health reasons i want it to be like oh you should get a haircut or like you should tells me when i need to like remember if i need to go to the dentist or like little things like that i love the dentist oh i'm going tomorrow really yeah dr vu nope do you actually love the dentist no okay
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Well, LA tap water is definitely fine. I don't think that Ryan and I are saying it's not fine. It is embarrassing to offer that to her. That's what I'm saying. Do we even want to keep this in?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
No, yeah, I agree with you. I actually can't talk shit because I probably wouldn't do that. Oh, I can't talk shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Wait, what? So you were blocking a bunch of cars then?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
It's also so nice how big they are because you can just sit down, crack open your drink. You don't have to get up for a while. You can just enjoy it and soak in all the sun. I know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I love that. That sounds like an I think you should leave sketch. Yeah, it does.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I feel like she's been a playmate for a while.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Oh, yeah, because you had to do the voicemail last time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Eric. Dad's never answered random calls.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Don't leave this one a voicemail. Alright.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Also, guys, don't forget our shirt is out. We made long sleeves for this. They're very fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
yeah like doug dimadome um all right should we do teach me something teach me something no yes i did wait oh is this about the history yes okay um or or if you want to just make something up that's cool too because he likes to do that sometimes you just make a he just lied last week he just lied it was not he said they found a guy he found a lady underwater for a year underwater for a year she survived
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Will, do you want to do yours? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Can you give a visual for our audio listeners?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
It's like what we were talking about last night. Sit down on the couch, get yourself some cereals, donuts, something, relax. And put on some cartoons or a movie and just lay there and relax. Because you don't want to spend your time in the hospital right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I think this is one of the better this guy's rocked.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I'm going to steal Hannah Montana's personality because she wears a wig. So I'm going to actually plan my wig party. Is it this weekend or not? It's Saturday. No, I don't know when it is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I don't know. I also just want to have like a different like persona and like have it be like my alter ego vibe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
no i was gone well no i was trying to go find you a water i like that's okay i don't need water by the end of this i'm like very clearly like my voice what's the argument like rain how do you measure the inches
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
The amount of rain that fell in a specific area would cover the ground.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
It is right. On the Patriots. Oh, wait.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Is that what you guys said you were going to do right when I walked out?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eat THREE lunches a day to lose weight
What? The way car buying should be. Can that be? What is that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining the party landscape.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
And if you're out there and you're thinking, like, I should play this for the first time, like, well, hi, don't do it. It was the most stressed out I've been in the world. Because the screen gets foggy when you're, like, about to die. I don't like that. And you're trying to find sodium, but, like... It would be like if you dropped me in real life and you're like, go find sodium.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
They have like a big like... But anyway, during it, they shouted out some producer whose name was Barbara Broccoli. I saw that. I saw that. Where'd you see that? You posted it on all time names.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I'm like, I don't know where it is. And so you're just like blasting random rocks to try and harvest it. That's what you would do in real life? That's what I did in the game because you have a laser blaster. Got it. And I just had like a freak out and started playing Skate 3 instead. That sounds safer for that environment. This podcast is brought to you by Triple.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Triple is the original high seltzer with three milligrams of THC and just 15 to 20 calories. Triple offers a social buzz similar to that of your favorite hard seltzer. Light on calories, high on life. It's all natural, gluten-free, and again, just 15 to 20 calories.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I'm eating a dead horse right now. I'm eating a dead horse right now. Guys, Triple is born from a desire to blend THC social buzz with the social ritual of sipping on a seltzer. Triple is currently available at grocery stores, liquor stores, bars, and restaurants in Missouri, Kansas, Iowa, Louisiana, Georgia, Florida, and South Carolina.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I posted it on my all time names account. And I was...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
dying barbara broccoli sounds like someone from veggie tales yeah it's somebody like comes into your health class to get everyone to eat right yeah eat clean and then later on they gave some award and it was it was like i forget like original foreign screenplay like one of those kind of random ones and uh the winner was just a mononym like just like beyonce like one name but it was just trent
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Uh, I went, so I did it. So I delivered and, uh,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Like, they were starting to, like, kind of usher people towards, like, certain areas. Like, they were, like, reducing the size of, like, where you could be to eventually kick everyone out. Yeah, like, they had, like, closed that, like, part of the patio or whatever. Anyway, and so this guy came up, and he was standing right behind me, and I, like, wasn't really acknowledging him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
But anyway, so then I'm like, so like I'm trying to get to know the guy, I guess. And then he's just like, it's just like all you new kids. I've been in Hollywood for 30 years. This is a $500 jacket. And all you new TikTok kids, you come here and you think, you know. And I was like, whoa, like I didn't like, I don't know. It was the whole thing was very strange. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
and then he was still trying to like get to know us he was like an older guy too and then uh chester was like all right let's let's get out of here and like grab me and he was like oh did you take my beer and fucking leave huh huh that's what all you and started like chasing me through the bar and so i just ran and like ducked in an elevator and the doors closed and uh i escaped
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
it's a 500 jacket it was so weird it was like the guy wanted to pick a fight that's cocaine yeah probably yeah that's yeah it was so strange what did the jacket look like black it was just black it was straight it was like a it's made out of a material like a non-earthly material yeah it was it was like a pea coat i guess maybe not like a but it like went down it was like a like a what do they call that kind of jacket trench coat
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
A duster? Is that a word? Duster? His jacket starts yelling at you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Yeah, it was almost like that. And he had tattoos on his scalp. He was kind of a strange looking fella. That's a type of jacket that you sell knives out of. You open it up and you're like, what kind of knife do you want?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Yeah, it was very fun. I mean, it's great for, like, going there in a big group, too, because then it's, like, everyone. We did accidentally leave one guy behind.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
no like when we were we like everyone like met at a bar that the bus left from yeah to go to like on the west side to go into hollywood and one guy got left which is pretty brutal for him but yeah no i was saying he's did he just call it a night after no i think he came i think he came i didn't really that's got to be an awful feeling yeah i'd be like i know but he apparently like stayed back because he was talking to some girls that he was trying to get to go so i think he walked into it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
It was good. It's always funny, the party bus, because then it's like on the way back, you're on it too. And that part, I was just like, oh my God, I think I need to go to bed. It was fun. I had an idea to go to bed. And, wait, sorry, one last thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I don't need Taco Bell right now. And I was sitting in my bed thinking about whether to order it, and I fell asleep. And so I woke up to Uber Eats open on the screen. I was like, let's fucking go. The order that you put together. I always have a conversation with myself where I go – You're going to be so bummed you did this. I know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
So proud of myself. I had a crazy woman in traffic the other day. I think I've told this story. I told this story last week, actually, where I... was talking about how this huge line accumulates like to get on to Barrington. And so like, I'll drive past the line. And so I'm driving up and this woman is on her phone. So this huge gap has like created itself where I could just slip in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
isn't that insane no that's hilarious it was like maria vacalaca and trent trent so i was like yes i don't know i thought i was dying laughing like how is this guy just trent yeah i was at dinner like when it was happening and the oscars were happening and there were like the majority of the restaurant was dressed as if they were going to the oscars
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
All right, whatever. So I pull in, she floors it to cut me off. But I just like, you know, when you already have the advantage, so it's like, there's nothing you can do. So I just got in there. She gets into oncoming traffic, pulls up next to me, and I have all my windows down, and I'm wearing those sunglasses that you think are like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
crazy and this is where i will i will acknowledge that they are crazy sunglasses because the second i got into an argument i go like i gotta take these off because no one's gonna no one's gonna take me seriously and my car has like crank windows so it wasn't like i could just roll all of them up yeah like so i just have to sit there and let her berate me she rolls down our window she goes
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
You fucking asshole. I have four kids in the car. Rolls out all her windows. I can see the kids in the car. They're all like car seats. Like she has like four like toddlers in the car. You didn't like do anything dangerous. I didn't do anything dangerous. She made it dangerous by like flooring it up to like whatever. And she was mad that I kept going. She pulls in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
She's like, you fucking asshole. I have four kids. And I was just like, what are you doing right now? You're in on, get out of oncoming traffic. Like just get behind me. And so now I like am turning left. She stays with me and is now blocking oncoming traffic coming the other way. And, uh, She's like, I basically was like, all right, just go. And so I let her go in front of me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
She goes, I'll get your license. I'll get your license. I was like, no, you're not. You're not going to give that to you. And so she pulls over. I turn onto my street. She gets behind me and follows me down my street. And so I'm looking like in the rear view mirror, like, what are you doing? And she's like, you motherfucker or whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
i go to pull into my parking garage and she goes to follow me into my parking garage and so i leaned out the window and i go you're being insane right now like what are you doing and she i think she kind of realized like yeah what am i gonna do like follow him into his parking garage so she backs out and fucking peels out but she like now knows where i live she was russian so like maybe she has like some crazy like mob time yeah to like the russian i'm really struggling to understand what that incident even was like why
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
she made it she like made it a thing it was so because like i think she had been waiting in the line she was mad that i didn't have to wait in the line yeah but like made it this whole that's a different argument than you put my kids in danger yeah yeah she was like i have four fucking kids and i was just like you're doing this in front of them this is insanity one time i was in high school Nice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Yeah, there I go bragging again. And me and Ian Stattmuller.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
we're driving home and like we made we like cut a we it was like a guy we knew and we like kind of cut in front of him to take this exit and it wasn't that bad but he got really mad and he got out of the car and like came up and was like hitting on the window he's like i might you could have killed my fucking sister like because he was i guess his sister's in the car and uh we just didn't roll the window down it was like a guy we knew it was a guy we went to high school with
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Cause we thought we were like, we were like, saw him like driving. We were like, Hey, Hey. And then we kind of like had both had to give the exit. We thought it was like an understood. And he was like, bang on the window. We were just like, Looking around. Were the windows tinted at least? Nope. We were at a Toyota Prius. It's like a glass box. Pretending he's not there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I was like, don't put the window down. Don't put the window down. Then we had to see him the next day. He didn't say anything. The parking lot at my high school was like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
it's just filled with kids who like barely know how to drive and everyone's trying to get out at the same time it was like yeah it was essentially like bumper cars getting out like kids were just constantly crashing into each other and i remember there was this kid and this is not you know those people that like they are they they have like special needs but they're like still allowed to drive and stuff
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Which I didn't... Yeah. I could not figure out why. Like, it wasn't... Not as a joke. Maybe they were going to, like, after parties?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
the first day in the in the lot and everyone was just like yeah i think i mean it's like it's unfortunate that that happened but like i think we set them up for we didn't set them up for success there yeah the first ever day bad to say no i don't yeah no it's racist it's fine uh the first it's your life not mine The first day I ever got my license, I was late to get my license.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I was scared a little bit. But then it became such a nuisance to my friends that I had to. And I got it, and the first day I was allowed to drive to school. I was driving my mom's. I drove a Prius. That shit got great gas mileage. I have no regrets. A lot of people would have been humiliated. Not me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, like the tank is... Okay, I get it. You put less gas in it, and it goes just... Because it's a hybrid, too, because it's using electricity as well. There we go, bragging again. Anyway, but the first day, I was like... My mom was nervous to let me. I just got my license. I was like, I'll be fine, I'll be fine. And I was pulling out of our neighborhood.
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You should have seen these, like, gowns and tuxes. Like, it was... I bet there's a lot of people that are, there's probably like big parties and stuff last night, right? Yeah. Surely. But like, if you're not, I guess maybe I thought like that was, the parties were just for people that were there. Like these were people dressed to the nines. Yeah. At like just a restaurant.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I was still two blocks from my house, and I realized my shoe wasn't tied. And my dumb ass decided to go try to tie my shoe while I was still driving.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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uh like very slowly but i just went down i was like and then i look up and my car had like i like hit the wheel and was now driving straight in a parked car at like five miles an hour but like i looked up i was like and uh that's fine never got an accident ever but it was it was i almost crashed my car within two blocks of my house the first time i was let drive to drive it which would have been all time it's
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Into just a parked car right on the side of the road. My friend Chris got his permit or driver's license or something. He was leaving the DMV with his mom. Yeah. And she like... He was a bad driver, but if you were in the car when he was learning and she was also in the car, she made it...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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so much more stressful because like yeah if he was coming in at any more than like five miles an hour to a stoplight it was like a big thing like she would like scream and he would like freak out and hit the wrong pedal and he was leaving the dmv and they're pulling up to a stoplight and she's yelling at him that he's going too fast and he panicked and went to slam on the brakes but he slammed on the gas and totaled his car oh holy shit
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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That's worst case Ontario. There was this parking lot by school that was like, the opposing team would park their bus there when they were coming to play like a game at our turf. And it was just impossible to get a bus through this thing. But they don't know that going into it. So they bring the bus down.
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And then there was this one turn that I don't think it was physically possible to get a bus to turn around there. And you'd always see them try and then back out. And this one bus driver was just really, like, insistent on getting it through there. And I just watched him. It was, like, 50 kids just sitting there watching him. And he cut it way too close and got, like, stuck on a minivan.
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And, like, that's worst case scenario. But if there's, like, other kids, like, filming you and laughing. Like, I remember just, like, making this guy's life a living hell being like, what an idiot. That's brutal. Yeah.
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Oh, I was thinking that the cleaning people came today at the office and they cleaned the toilet. You know how you can tell that you're the first guy to use the toilet after them, like after they've cleaned it? Mm-hmm. Still have the soap in there. I was thinking we should start calling, if you get to poop first in the toilet after the cleaning people come, you get first tracks. First tracks?
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Yeah. It's like when there's a powder day. If you get first chair and you're the first person to ski on that trail, you call it first tracks. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. Sorry. Lauren didn't like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will and I got caught at the worst bar for chilling on their Instagram.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Shajay like posted a picture. Yeah, Shajay posted a post on there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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We were in the background, but it's like you can tell we're having a pretty mediocre time. It was an insane snipe by a guy I've met like twice. This, my buddy Johnny that I like kind of know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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very nice guy though he sends me this picture and it's like a photo of these guys at a table and in like the way background you can see us and i was like how in the world did he yeah i'll put it out a picture right here put it up right here is it was mind-blowing that we were sniped in this photo but i guess that's just when you look this handsome the people gonna notice
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We were just eating dinner. Yeah, I mean, it probably is that. It's probably that they work in the studios, but they don't have, you know, there's only, what? A couple hundred seats. Yeah, it's not that big.
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Great. Great, now my career's ruined. Put the equation for the God particle right here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Gob-tarticle. Should we road map it up? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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How do girls do that? If Will and I lived together and you were borrowing my clothes, I'd be furious.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah. Oh. Why? I've done that with friends. Well, what if you're already dressed and I go to get ready? Well, you ask, right? Of course.
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I'm excited. Road map. All right. We have a beautiful episode for you guys today. We're going to hear your pitches, followed by our pitches, followed by everyone's favorite segment. Say it with me, Lauren. Teach me something. followed by this guy rocks, this guy rocks, this guy rocks today. And then Will and I are going to do ways to ask if someone wants another drink, followed by a classic.
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I think we've only done it. We did it once with Liam a while ago, over a year ago, probably. Video games that don't exist. Very excited to do that. Lauren, should we prank Will while he's gone? What do you want to tell him?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Tell him Joe Jonas got back to us and he wants to come on next week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah. Or wait, he can only come on on Friday and we have to kick Liam off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Sometimes they're not comfy. Sometimes they don't fit right. And if you're ordering online, it feels like you can never get the right fit size, whatever, you know, you're going back and forth. All of these things plagued my existence until I found the perfect size.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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jean they're cool you can bend over in them and they don't like you know what i mean they're like they like they stretch with they fit with you the sizing is great i've never had an issue with that you know how like on like normal jeans sometimes you got that like saggy butt yeah like diaper butt Yep. No more, no more crushed nuts. Unless you're eating a Sunday. Am I right, brother? Come on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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During the middle of it, I went out on the boardwalk, and it was a ghost town. Oh. I went on a run up and down to the pier and stuff. Because everyone's inside watching it? I mean, I was a little... Before I realized what the Oscars were going on, I was like, this is a little strange.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Freak your khakis, man, and get the perfect gene. Let's get back into the episode. All right, should we hear some pitches, Lauren?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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uh getting there too early and looking like you're uh on the prowl for some friends or girls like whenever i show up to the bar you i don't think you have this problem i get extremely nervous being alone at a in a public place i kind of like it's kind of peaceful uh but yeah i would agree you don't want to show up too early
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so much i love that so much that'd be so funny to show up and be like all right fingers in everyone does it and they're like will's gotta take 11 jello shots i guess bac is relative to like your body weight and yeah yeah so it's like an even playing field yeah like we have the same bsc we're gonna be the same amount of drunk Yeah, I think maybe tolerance is a factor as well.
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Maybe I'm more used to being at a certain level. There was a machine at this Irish pub that I would go to in college where you could take a straw, you'd put a quarter in, take a straw, and you could blow into it, and it was like a police grade.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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uh breathalyzer which i think they put there for people to like use it responsibly and be like am i like safe to drive home but it turned into just like who can get the highest yeah and so like we would sit there and like see who could get to like you know a scary number i remember I don't want to dox him, but... Gartle. One of my best friends will replace it with this. Gartle. Gartle.
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So Gartle was on a mission one night to set the record. Yeah. And he got a .3, which I think is like... People have died from .3. And it became not funny anymore. We were like, oh, okay, all right. Yeah, game's over. You win. You win. You win. You win. You win. That's an insane thing to have in a bar. They had to have known that was going to happen. In a college town?
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I was like, what the fuck? A billion people? There's no way. I was like, there's no way. That's a seventh of the world. And he was like, well, the World Cup final got a billion. I was like,
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It was a bar for... It was a bar for, like, 19 to 21-year-olds. Yeah, that's insane. It was the same... I think I've told the story, but I got banned from it for a month. Yeah. I said... I didn't know what the potato famine was. I was talking to the owner, who was very Irish, and I made a comment about the potato famine, and he was like, 30 days. Get out of here. That's awesome.
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Did they enforce that? I think he, like... I definitely could have gone back earlier. Yeah. But you respected him? Yeah. Well, it was just like, all right. Yep. Dealer's choice. You know what I love is like, oh, some like, I'm just thinking about now you said Irish.
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i don't know where alfalfa soup bone broth like kate drinks um we'll put the video right here but speaking of like bars banning people in that in my college town i had this friend who was obsessed with like running on like when he wanted to leave this other bar yeah i think i've shown you this video he would run across the bar and then dive into the crowd and then like hop over the fence and leave and that's like not a cool thing wait what that was this thing
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We'll put the video right here. I'll show you. He would run across the bar.
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Crashing onto people's drinks. So he, I'll show you this one, but he, the video that I have, he gets up, he runs across the bar and then he hits like a wet patch where someone's drink gets spilled and his feet go all the way out and he kicks like 11 people's drinks over and then he falls into the crowd and then he runs out the back and hops the fence. And I sent this to my buddy.
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yeah but that's the world yeah but that's the world yeah anyway i looked it up i think that was like a joke or something but it was a weird joke it didn't feel like a joke yeah no i agree but it was like there's no way yeah this is gonna be funny because this comes out in a week yeah sorry this is probably really uninteresting it's like when we did our super bowl predictions for the episode that was gonna come out after the super bowl oh nora was so good though yeah now i definitely have to watch it yeah do you guys see the dessert i got last night
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Wait, he did this multiple times. Multiple times and never got banned. So you're going to watch this video. I can't tell if this is cool or not. It's not cool. It was really funny. I'm going to airdrop it to Lauren. Yeah, I want to watch this. So what you need to watch for, one of my best friends from Rollins was a kid named Chase. And he's sitting at the bar.
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pause it like the second you get it because it all happens very quickly so my friend chase is the blonde kid sitting at the bar and me him and the kid who did this we're all very good friends and he wouldn't tell you when he was about to do it so like we neither of us knew this was happening and you see my friend chase watch it happen and like can't believe that this kid did it again so let's give it a shot oh
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He's standing on the bar. Yeah, what did you think?
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Oh, that would just be like a normal... That would be like a very quick exit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Wait, this guy's face is... That's my friend Chase. He's like just sitting enjoying a beer.
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oh my god everyone's dying that's me across the bar oh right there yeah one of those guys i don't know oh my god let's watch it again wait look at the guy in the capitals jersey like cheesing so big or girl wait that's a bartender no that's steph chew that's my friend steph she's behind the bar yeah she like she was like a local but uh play one more time this is insane to me
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And everyone's just like, yeah. Because he did it. This was not the first time he'd done it. Was the bartenders, like, pissed? No. I mean, they thought it was...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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okay honestly okay wait so this was like your freshman sophomore bar kind of no this was there were only two bars that we would go to so like this is like these are freshmen through like fifth and sixth year kids like we were all in six year kids who were at like business school how many of those were there hundreds really yeah okay because this most kids took a victory lap but this kind of reminds me of like not on top of the bar this is crazy this isn't
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this is so funny but you never got banned yeah that's the craziest part one of the bars we went to freshman year like everyone would be standing up on the tables yeah okay so kind of similar like this is like the energy that it's giving like the management clearly just didn't even care is that what was going on i don't know but can we watch one more time and i want you to watch this look how many drinks are on the bar he doesn't he almost doesn't knock over one drink something at the end the
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There's like a cartoon crash at the end because his feet came out from under him. But he misses all of these drinks. Yeah, he does. That was a pretty good job. He only hit one beer that slid across. I just feel like the odds are pretty good of him just slipping, falling, hitting his head behind something behind the bar and it being like a huge.
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So he, you know, like we were talking about like squirrels don't have a terminal velocity.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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yeah there's a video of him we were in different fraternities but his fraternity house had this balcony that was like two or three stories up and there was a tree like 20 feet out in their lawn yeah and if you jumped off the third like second or third balcony you could like catch the tree enough that it would like soften your blow and like this kid was
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would jump off it like multiple times jump off of like the third story and land in the tree and like still eat shit but like i'm honestly shocked he's like alive yeah that sounds he's tickling fate yeah tickling he had this machine in his room that uh you could hold on to and it would like shock your arms and this guy's just like a What do you call a guy who wants pain? Masochist. Yeah.
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We would all see who could hold on the longest. And I guess we had been doing it all night. And I woke up and my arms were locked in this position because it really stimulates your forearm muscles. What's it supposed to be for? I have no idea. And I was walking to class and my arms were like this and I had no recollection of how they got that way.
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Yeah, I did. It was big. We were like, we could do, this keeps happening to me where I'm like, surely this Sunday is not going to be a big stink. Like we can like secret, we can eat that like under the radar. And then it's like, it was fajitas on steroids. It was a spectacle. We'll put a picture of it right here. It came out essentially on fire. Yeah, it had the sparkler in it.
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And I walked past him and his boys and they started like dying laughing because apparently all night we just had it on 10. Jesus Christ. Isn't that crazy? Like if you owned a bar, if you owned a bar. And a kid did that once. Yeah, he'd be toast. Banned for life.
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Sometimes you get hung up on funny details. That doesn't make any sense.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, you put it in a sandwich. I thought it was the bread.
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Yeah, I'm liking that a lot. That's fantastic. The crunchier, the better.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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i i was on your wavelength as well where i was thinking like two chips yeah but if you just slid that pad boy in the middle of that pad boy you slid that pad boy right in the middle of one of your sandwiches and it would kind of naturally break yeah i think what you would want to do is put it in there and then give it a squeeze so it breaks yes and then go to town on it interesting
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My friend Peter used to put... Why would you want it to break? Sorry. To mimic what he was doing where it's... But then you just get normal chips. I feel like the whole point is that it isn't broken. You can do whatever. I'll talk to my guys. I like that hat. Thank you. It's the man who captured sunshine. What's that? It's a brand. He's awesome. Shout out to the man who captured sunshine.
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No, they're like trees. In the car. No, it's through the window. But what I've been trying to figure out is what kind of car is this? Did he make this up or is this a two-door G-Wagon? Like it's not a car that exists.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, you know what it is? It's probably a Land Cruiser. I know. I know. I know. My friend Peter used to put Cheetos in his PB&J, and I used to torch him, and I tried it. It's delicious. Ooh.
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It had a huge sparkler in it, and it happened. Lauren's watching reels during our podcast. They're short. What is it? Shorts or reels?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You're going to get taught a new thing each month. And after a couple months, you're going to turn into one of the most interesting men of all time. I like this. I think that a lot of times people get hyper-focused, especially like kids now. Like they'll put them in like one sport or like one...
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hobby and they just like make them do that i think it's much more interesting to be a jack of all trades master of none imagine like knowing how to do almost everything a little bit instead of being really good at one thing so it's like you know one month is spent on learning how to solve a rubik's cube the next is learning how to paint the next is like maybe a niche of history that you want like you really can do whatever you want
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And by the end of the year, you have 12 new things that you're pretty good at. That sounds awesome. Wouldn't that be sick? Yeah, I would love it. I love that. I think maybe we'd rename it to Master of None. I like that. Isn't that an Aziz Ansari show, though? Who's that? Aziz Ansari? Oh, from Parks and Rec? Yeah. Love that guy. He's from Charleston. Not Charleston, but from South Carolina.
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But you're not... What are you mastering right now?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I just am saying... What are you the master of, Lauren?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Lauren... Okay, then you can... I'm saying I wish I... Master of none. Your teach me something could just be every month is the same thing. You just take fucking piano lessons or whatever you want to do. What are you guys saying?
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You said, what are you guys... Alright, let's all do an impression of each other. I have Lauren. Lauren has Will. Will has me. Oh, nice. That's when he doesn't give a shit about what you just said. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, nice. What? I'm glad you're focused on the task at hand. You cannot be actively watching reels while doing your job. It sounds like it was a grid post.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Okay. That was our impression. I'm scared. Pitch me. Oh, nice. How's that going? This is the backup coffee. Okay. So here's the thing. You ever get to the end of a coffee pot and you're like, all right, now I got to brew another one. It's going to be a little bit, you know, then you got to wait. It's a little annoying.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So it's a little container of backup coffee that's a little out of sight, and it's in the back of the coffee maker, and it just siphons off some of it back there. So when you get to the end, you're like, oh, you still got one more cup.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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guilty will drinks will drinks coffee like a coal miner guilty what do you want me to say yeah i love a steven hot cup of joe no i don't know why it's just funny sorry sorry i'm like sorry i'm laughing god forbid i laugh and have fun oh my god i love it willie yeah so anyway it's just like you know that feeling when you're down to the end and it's like it's nice to know you got a little extra so then while the new pot's brewing you still have a cup
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So you can start the new pot while still getting some from the back of it. Can I ask you a question? Hit me. When you brew a pot of coffee that is not enough for you for the whole day? No, well, we have a pot here that we all share at work. All the coffee drinkers here, we all use the same one. So if you're the last guy, then it's like, all right, now I got to start a new one.
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And they came up, the edit bay came up with a term called chug-a-lugging, chugging-glugging or something. It's when you take the last cup and you don't make a new pot. And it's a very, very frowned upon term.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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yeah for me the only thing i can relate to is when people don't replace the water cooler in here if you watch it go to the bottom and you don't put a new one in there i think you should be fired yeah yeah i love it but basically the idea is you could start brewing the next pot while still having a little to drink out of yeah so that you don't have to wait that's good and you always have coffee i love it because our pot you can't pull it mid brew because you because i broke it yeah yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I'm sorry. Great. Well, now I just lost my train of thought on the greatest story of all time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Big dessert. Multiple times throughout dinner.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
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this huge sparkler sunday would come out and we thought it was it happened to the table across from us the first time and it was like a little kid and so i thought everyone was going to start singing happy birthday because i've never seen a thing that looks like that that is not directly tied to someone's birthday right and so we started clapping and then
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Something. We all know the story of like Archduke Franz Ferdinand and like the chain reaction of it starting World War I. Correct, yeah. But what you don't know or what I don't think we've explored is how he even had that clean of a shot at him. Okay, yeah. So here's the chain reaction. June 12th, 1914, Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary visits Sarajevo or whatever. Sarajevo. Sarajevo.
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A group of Serbian nationalists, the Black Hand, plot to assassinate him. Side note, what an awesome name for a group of guys. Yeah. The Black Hand. They plot to assassinate him. They failed their first attempt, which I didn't know. Okay. One of the assassins throws a bomb at the Archduke's car, but it bounces off and explodes under the next vehicle, and the Archduke escapes. Jesus. Crazy. Crazy.
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And then the guy who threw it gets hungry. No pun intended. Oh, I was going to say, wait, who gets Austria? He gets hungry after the failed attack. One of the assassins, Gavrilo Princip. Okay. Goes to a cafe to grab a sandwich, frustrated that the plan failed, which is in and of itself hilarious. Just being like, you just threw a bomb at a guy. It didn't go the way you thought.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So you were just like, fuck it, I'll just go get a sandwich.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I'll go get a sandwich. Meanwhile, Franz Ferdinand insists on visiting the wounded in the hospital, the people who got hit by the bomb. Okay. His driver accidentally takes a wrong turn and stops right in front of the cafe where Princip is eating. So he shouldn't... One, this guy is randomly at this cafe. They shouldn't have even been close to him again.
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But for some reason, the driver takes a wrong turn. Now he's parked in front of the cafe. Princip sees the Archduke, pulls out his gun, and shoots him and his wife, Sophie, killing them both. Austria, Hungary then declares war on Serbia. Russia back Serbia. Germany backs Austria, Hungary, France and Britain back Russia. World War One is now on.
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They didn't acknowledge it, and we had to stop because we were like, oh. It was just regular dessert. It was just regular dinner. Like, both the kids were on their iPads. That's a thing. That's not a thing. If your kid is wearing, like, Beats Studio headphones. Yeah. At dinner and on their iPad, like, why even bring them? Just leave them at home. They clearly don't want to be here.
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As we all know, it ends with the Treaty of Versailles, which crushes Germany like financially and like they can't. They're fucked.
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because of that hitler is able to use that as like a way to rise to power so if this guy uh didn't take a wrong turn and the other guy princip wasn't hungry and getting a sandwich yeah we probably would have avoided world war one and world war two damn talk about a uh you know sometimes i i have a sandwich i'm like that wasn't worth it talk about a sandwich it wasn't worth it Yeah, crazy.
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He's a Czech hockey player. And he was drafted by the... Sorry. He was drafted by the Washington Capitals in the 80s. And so this is what's crazy to me is they could draft guys, but then the guys couldn't get like they weren't allowed to leave. They weren't like you weren't allowed to defect to the United States from Czechoslovakia at this time.
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So he got drafted and he found out like through the grapevine that he had been drafted by the Capitals and he wanted to go play in the NHL. So he would go to, like, a hunting lodge in, like, northern Sweden, and a guy from the capitals would meet him up there during his, like, hunting weekends, and that's where they would have their conversations.
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And then when he finally escaped, he couldn't, like, tell any of his family. Just, like, him and his fiance had to go on this, like, daring escape across the border and, like, into northern Italy. That's crazy. And then they were met by people from, like, the Washington capitals had to send people to... to Northern Italy to get this defector and bring him back to D.C. How good was he at hockey?
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He played for 26 years in the NHL. That's so crazy. What would they do if they drafted a guy and they weren't able to get him?
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pivon no michael i may got that was all wrong michael with no e mikhail pivonka i mean i don't know how unique i just happened to stumble across this one specific article i don't know how yeah there's probably other people with similar stories if this was true what you had to do that is very yeah that's wild but if i if i'm like you know the prime minister of the czech republic or whatever they had back then and i found out one of our guys got drafted
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Yeah. But you're not going, you're going, you're not going, you're going nowhere. You'll be going nowhere without us right next. Yeah. I mean, even when he escaped, it was that he said he was going on vacation to Yugoslavia and then he like slipped out through there. But yeah, pretty insane. That is crazy.
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It's just funny too, to think of it as like, as a team, like art, we're going to use a draft pick on a guy that is the only way he can play for us is if he defects. Yeah. I would be like, but if I was like some Canadian guy. Yeah. I'm ready to play right now. Yeah. I guess it was a good call. This guy rocks. This guy rocks. This guy rocks today. Hey, hey, well, this guy.
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pause this immediately and i mean immediately all right these type of guys just crack me up for the people for the people at home uh this is a video of a guy he's wearing like black converse black pants black shirt tatted to the nines black beanie and it says it's really funny that i that i dress like okay so let's give it a shot okay funny that i dress like this and give off like
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I mean, I don't go back and forth. Obviously, I agree with you. I just feel like parenting has to be getting so much harder because it's like, if you don't give them those things, like, all their friends are getting it. Yeah.
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like i kind of wish i dressed like that that's that was cracking me up earlier yeah literally mia's type that's a crazy thing that's mia's type okay next cut to will and i next week um i'm joking i'm joking uh yeah but like you have to be you have to be a crazy guy i mean i think that posting it on the internet is the crazy part Yeah, I guess it's just interesting.
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I just know guys like that, and it's funny to think that that's probably what's going on in their head. I'd never considered maybe why they dress like that, but they think that that's tough as nails. Yeah, I guess.
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Oh, really? I mean, this video is corny. But I do like that outfit. Is that a hot take?
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I don't like the tucked in look. Lauren trying to get a no belt prize.
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I think if you're actually one of those guys, yes. But I think it's become... Like, it was a cool thing when it started, and now it's ruined. Dude, this reminds me of... This lady at Desert Five comes up, and I'm wearing a Carhartt hoodie, and she goes... It was another... She was like, God, all these people come to LA and they don't know anything about... Do you even know where Carhartt started?
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I mean at dinner I guess is a separate thing maybe but like for like just in general like I wouldn't want my kid to have like a fucking iPad or like all this shit but it's like if they come then they're going to resent you because all their friends have it.
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i guess not i don't know i got this in maine though i'm not like like she's like oh yeah all these la kids like they come here and they think they want to wear carhartt and dress like they know you don't know anything about like the real world they're like it was insane actually what was this bar yeah it was very weird i guess maybe that's just hollywood or you like oh you like wearing carhartt uh name five power tools
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Middle-aged is a compliment. Like, that would be like... Oh, Lauren, you like Converse? Like, where did they start? Yeah, I was so... And then she was trying to blue-collar me. And I was like, you can't blue-collar me. Yeah. And, like, it's not gonna work. Because... So it's like, you also live here. Yeah. Well, that's what I mean.
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Not that I'm some sort of blue-collar guy, but she was living here and dressed way nicer than I was. I was wearing a Carhartt. It wasn't even a nice hoodie.
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Also, why would that matter? Exactly. But that was the thing. Her point was just because she knows where it's from.
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Yeah, I guess she wanted you to work in a steel mill. Yeah, I should have had soot on my face. Yeah, I mean, I wear Carhartt every day, and it's never once occurred to me that someone would quiz me on where it started.
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Fuck that. I don't know where any of the things that I'm wearing started. Couldn't tell you where Birkenstock started? Germany. Really? Right?
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Like, I don't know. That's so odd. Oh, my socks are Uniqlo. Or Uniqlo. I think that's Japan. Nice. So I got two. I wish you'd come at me for my socks. I would have been like, Japan, fucking idiot. Then you'd be like feeding into it. No, I agree. Also, why the balls on these people to like. I've never once like gone up and sort of berating a stranger. It was so weird. I was like yelling at her.
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I was like, what the hell are you trying to do? What are you doing? Get away.
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tiktok kids must be like taking this must be like their bar yeah and these tiktok kids are taking it over and they're like furious it was very strange yeah wait is that it's a new bar is that a country bar yeah they just play country music yeah i've been here for months yeah yeah it was yeah at the end it gets more like dje but it was like live country music most of the night which is great all right should we see your guy that rocks oh yeah yeah do you want to see my guy that rocks this guy rocks my guy has rocks
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we'll see but they're gonna know that it's there and they're i don't know i think we've talked about this but i think the only way to get the only way to get out of it is to just only be friends with like like-minded parents so like their kids we're all in agreement like we're not getting them the fucking beats studio headphones yes i think i'm more mad about the headphones headphones is crazy at dinner at dinner just leave them at home they don't want to be there yeah well they probably can't get make their own dinner
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Play the music. When I first saw this video, I thought it was a kid, and I was like, whoa! He's got hops.
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Also, like, is this suit made specifically for monkeys? Like, it has a tail hole. It must, yeah. Or for kids with tails. He's on the monkey bars.
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I was thinking if I was an audio listener. Blaring dubstep in there. A little music break.
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um who leaked my dream i think if i was a parent and i was trying to bring my kid to the playground and there was like a monkey running around like pretty bummed okay that i agree but it didn't really look like there was anyone else there yeah probably because there was like a monkey there was a crowded playground and they were letting a monkey loose that would be a difference those things can like rip your face off
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No, that one can't. Someone goes, not funny, not cute. This is so wrong. People are sick. Yeah, I don't give a shit. Yeah, I guess why do you have it? I guess is probably the real question. Lauren just translated that comment. Hello, I am Wahoo. See you soon.
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Dreams at 39 temperature. I've always wondered this. Are other languages so structurally different that that doesn't make any sense to me? Oh, no. It's like when you have a fever, like dreams at 39 degrees. Ooh. Right? Yeah. It's good. Yeah. Someone goes Travis Scott.
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All righty. Should we do ways to ask someone if they... What? She just translated one that says, I thought that my roof was gone. That's what I mean. What does that mean? Do you want to do ways to ask if someone wants another drink or video games that don't exist? Video games that don't exist. All right. Tee it up, Willie. I'm going to pull them up.
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I'm Tee Bitchy. You heard that new Tee Bitchy album?
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that's crazy these are video games that don't exist kill the king you spawn as a lowly squire in medieval england and you have to work your way up in the king's court with the end goal of eventually killing him and taking over his king love that farm escape you are a successful farmer who wakes up one day and finds that all the animals have turned against him and they're all trying to kill you so you start in your farmhouse all the animals are against you you have to make your way outside of the farm without getting killed
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I love that. Because I feel like farm animals are always docile. I want to see a pig who's pissed.
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I want to see a pig who's pissed. I want to see a pig who's pissed. Elvis. Elvis is here. Elvis. Elvis. Who back there? Who's Elvis?
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Hi, Teeper. Hi, Teepold. All right. I got dealer. Dealer.
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He's not being sneaky. He's being loud.
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All right. I got dealer. You start as a low time dealer. Nope. Let me start that over. What's a low time dealer? Yeah, it doesn't exist. It doesn't exist. Okay. I've got dealer. You start as a small-time drug dealer peddling weed or something on a street corner. Slowly build your drug empire. Choose what drugs you want to sell, where you want to sell them, and you have to deal with rival cartels.
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Love it. I've got whistleblower. You're a low-level factory worker who has discovered a major human rights violation occurring at the company. However, the power dynamics make it really hard for you to speak up. So you have to try to either work your way to the top to get the message out or try to sneak the info to a reporter or try to handle it yourself.
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There's a few ways you can go, but you are the whistleblower. I like that. Sentience. You're surrounded by NPCs, AI NPCs, and you have to pretend to be one of the NPCs. And if they figure out that you're a real person playing, they will attempt to kill you. So you have to blend in with the NPCs. Like it. Return to shore. You've been stranded in the deep sea.
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You have to swim 15 miles back to shore. There are sturgeon. There are anglerfish. There are minnows. There are all sorts of small dolphins. Trout. Porpoise. You can ride dolphins so they can give you a ride. But if you encounter, say, maybe a shark, you'd be cooked.
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It's like a big-ass dinosaur fish. It's like a big-ass dinosaur fish. I've seen one. They're illegal to, like, catch. Oh, really? In Maine, at least. Holy. Yeah. A kid caught one. One of my friend's little brothers caught one. And if you, like, reel it in, you could get in trouble with wildlife. Oh, wow. But he did not. I think you have to cut the line.
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I was kayaking out in the Saco Bay, and one of them jumped. They jumped out of the water. Jumped like 10 feet out of the water. It was just scary. You're going to love Stranded. Okay. You and your crewmates have been marooned on an island by your fellow pirates. You have to start a new civilization and try and build a ship, stay alive, repopulate.
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and uh and try and go get revenge on the people who marooned you i like that uh anthrax you work in the mail room okay you're processing hundreds and hundreds of letters every day here's the deal one of the letters is gonna contain anthrax designated for someone at your company So your job is if you're not keeping up with getting people's mail to them, then they get pissed.
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But if you let the one letter with anthrax through, you lose and you kill someone. So you have to be meticulous but efficient. And that therein lies the hook of the game. You have to know what to look for. I love it. Rock stardom. Yep. Start as a band doing small gigs. Slowly work your way up to becoming a rock star. And you get faced with ultimatums that will either help or hurt your career.
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There can be falling outs. There can be drug addiction. There can be all sorts of stuff on your rise to rock stardom. Flock, you're a bird. You have to assemble the largest flock. If you have a real big flock, that's when you're succeeding. Sometimes you attack other flocks. Sometimes you have to hold sort of info sessions with loose birds to try to recruit them into your flock.
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It honestly ends up... It turns into like a... like a timeshare type thing where you're having these like you're promising vacations and getting birds to show up just to recruit them in your flock. It's very, it's all about manipulation and you will still have to eat bird food.
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I feel like it's a win-win. It's a win-win. What would you do with your big mouth? Hold a bunch of fish and items. Hold fish and items. Steal from other fish.
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Like, if you're the bald eagle, it's just lonely at the top. That's all I'm saying. It will get lonely because people are so, you know what I mean? Yeah, but I'm immune to being killed. Can't kill a bald eagle. Pterodactyls can. What? Pterodactyls can. Oh. What's killing pelicans? Hunter... Who? Hunter Biden. He's killing... I forgot. I still have my Uber Eats as Hunter Biden.
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Mine is... I ordered beer on Postmates the other day and they had like check your ID. One beer.
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i ordered a beer i ordered a beer it's like a loose beer from a bar um and the guy took my d and he was like this doesn't match here my postman's name is red foreman he's the dad from that 70s show and he was like this doesn't match i was like yeah it's all i say it's a fake name he was like why would you do that i don't know it's funny he was just like okay um should we do ways to ask if someone wants another drink i would love to
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These are ways to ask if someone wants another drink. Can I replenish your reserves? $20 on tank two. Keep it going. Wait. $20 on pump two. Keep it going. Pretty sure they got free refills here. Want to turn this walk into a run? Is that ice getting lonely? Next level? Want to keep it running? You dry? No use in stopping now. Viral? Viral. So if we clip that online, do you think we'll go viral?
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Viral. Get like 100 DMs. Next up, Kevin Jonas. Kevin Jonas is going to repost this next one. Scary. Are we viral?
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gonna see you next like every time he just is like what am I gonna see you it's cute I love kids do you ever crush on your babysitter will did I yeah no I didn't I I actually like this one babysitter that was a dude because he let me eat all the freeze pops oh yeah didn't your parents come home and they were all gone do eat the whole thing freeze but he had no idea what to do as a babysitter yeah he's like sure you know that cleared out a whole pack and they're like I fired it
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Yeah, that's great. You'd kick Liam off?
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That's sick. Get Jonest. You guys planned the worst prank of all time. You got Jonest. You were probably like, and what next, Kevin? You were probably like, oh, I bet Kevin's on next. But I asked you earlier, and you said I didn't. Was it when I was in the bathroom? Yeah. That was the worst executed one of all time. Get Jonest. You were probably like, oh!
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yes this is uh our one week late oscar recap episode did you guys watch i did i uh two big takeaways uh there was in the james bond like in memoriam section do you see that did you watch it it was on but i was at a restaurant so like unless i was reading the subtitles it wasn't okay i was watching pretty passively i would say too uh It was Meryl Streep. We've guessed her so many times.
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I hope Nick and I hope Nick and Joe and Kevin can come me for a fucking second no I hope Kevin you got Jonas what do you think I was gonna say no Liam's coming so he can't come yeah I would kick Liam he would be like Liam would be like of course
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You got Jonas? You feel like such an idiot. I guess I have to brush up on Camp Rock.
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There was like a new, it was like alcohol delivery. And it was like pretty new. And they did a partnership with like Nick Jonas, I guess. There was like a few, like if you order from us in this window, we'll deliver the alcohol. And a few of like Nick Jonas is going to hand deliver some of them.
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and come play like a private concert at your house and sure enough she did it and it she got it like nick jonas delivered the wine that she ordered concert and like came in and played a few like acoustic songs in her living room is that insane was she by herself i think with her like boyfriend or so i don't know or maybe with a friend i don't really remember it'd be funny if you were like ordering like you were about to get like sad drunk yeah you didn't know about the thing alcohol gets there and then nick jonas is like in your room
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You were probably like, um, Demi Lovato was in Camp Rock, right?
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You've never seen Camp Rock? Play the she's really good. She's really good. Play the she's really good thing, Lauren. Do you want me to find it? Yeah, we'll... If you don't have plans to watch Camp Rock, you're going to after this.
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Next, give it up for the awesome Caitlin Geller! Woo-hoo! And this is in honor of you awesome camp rockers.
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Oh, really? You know who I saw the other day? This is not her, but who's the girl? Amanda Bynes. I saw Amanda Bynes on the street outside of Starbucks and she looked... Really?
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Did you say, like, you break up and brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack? I said, no. I do TikTok, too. Dab her up. Get it? All right. Whose personality are you stealing? I am stealing the Whalers' personality, collectively. They're Bob Marley's backup guys. I just love their vibe. Drinking lots of Red Stripe.
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My dad was telling my sister's partner last night the story of when we... Basically, we went to this resort when I was a kid in Jamaica that is now... Like, it was so far from the airport that most people didn't want to drive there. It was, like, a two-hour drive, and you had to drive through, like, Kingston. So it wasn't expensive yet because people weren't going there for, like, big vacations.
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But they put it in this private airport, so now people can go. And now it's, like, Biden was, like, we'll never be able to go there again because it's too expensive. And he said that the way they found out I was drinking was we were walking to dinner or something, and all the workers were calling me Mr. Red Stripe. I'm going to steal... Cronin O'Brien.
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No, I want to spice up my patio this weekend. Ooh, Ty from Extreme Home Makeover. Done.
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uh but no i don't think i ever really i think i've already i ran you through my babysitter gauntlet the lady who drove the wrong way down one way streets and cursed oh yeah yeah i was so obsessed with one of my babysitters that uh when she would go to leave i would wrap myself around her leg and be like no no like don't leave whatever and uh one time i remember she had like flared jeans on like kind of like the ones like kendrick was wearing yeah and certified lover boy certified
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So you're going to get stuff done, but you're going to be mean to us while you do it? Oh, we got to get our number. Eddie Royal. Not even close.
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Oh, there's a hockey player that's 86. Will Disley. Will Disley number. Number.
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Robert De Niro. Number. Oh, Ollie Williams. Family guide. Get family guide. Vernon Davis.
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No, we got to get this. It's Trisha Takanawa. That's family guy. Tyler. Oh, Nate Jacobs.
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Comment down below. Droopy. All right. Love you. Love you guys. Bye. Bye.
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I just got like a little carried away when she was trying to leave and I remember like biting her jeans or something and she kind of shook me off and it popped one of my teeth out because I was like holding on so tight.
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oh my god my mom was like i don't i think this is crossing we might have to get a new babysitter she was like the babysitter did nothing wrong but she was like his infatuation with this woman is not healthy jesus yeah what was i gonna say oh we watched we watched soul have you guys seen soul the pixar movie oh that's how you well right i watched a lot of movies it's like a like a jazz animation yeah yeah he's a jazz player and it's like inside out vibes
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What is it? You resent my hobbies? I just want to... Every time I'm starting to get a grasp on what you do... Is it my new thing? I know, but you're impossible to pin down. You just have a new thing every week.
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like you i think if you and i were like dating and i went to get you a gift i wouldn't even know where to start you'd be too set you'd have to predict it that's what my sister got the best christmas gift of all time she got me wingspan yeah started my new yeah you have to you have to like anticipate look down the road like what's he gonna be into
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I don't know. I'm so excited to find out. It's like Jumanji, like the game. It's like in your room, like rattling. I don't know if I'm ready to crack that open yet. It's dangerous.
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Yeah, wait, what's happened? Did you guys win the ship last year? Yeah, because we had a horrible offseason.
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I'm kidding. Makes the Luca trade look like a fucking walk in the park. No, we... I don't know. We just can't get on base. I don't know.
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Yeah, Joe Palm hasn't been there. Are you the best player?
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Definitely not. Who is? I pictured you as like the ringleader.
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I would say I'm an emotional ringleader. Joey P is the best player.
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Yeah, Matt and Joe are pretty good. I had a horrible game last week. I had like five errors. I did have a home run.
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Yeah, I cut my hand up. I mean, it's not that bad.
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Why? Feels like the team is falling apart at the seams right now. Just because you don't want to?
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um well mia and ava can't go wait then we need you we're not gonna have enough girls becca oh you need like a certain amount of girls yeah okay okay oh so you couldn't just like flood it with like no you have to have two girls on the roster and one on the field at all times i was the only girl one of the last times i mean you lauren you're gonna you're gonna fuck the team the team needs you
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what nothing uh are you like tripled right now what's happening she's off that mud water you remember when remember when uh i don't know remember when we had triples at work and you like thought like no one could tell and then you went to will like went to have a conversation with like someone in the edit bay yeah and like got like a couple words in and someone's like jesus are you baked right now like what is happening
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I feel like we should have learned by now that she's not. Meryl Streep is 75 for our audio listeners, and we've guessed her at every number of the 80s. No, anyway, there was some tribute to James Bond or something. Did he just pass? He's not a guy. He's a character. He died in the movie. Yeah.
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I just had to go home. Dude, I'm back on the pen. You got a penjamin? I'm back on the penjamin. I went to Cookies to get more edibles. Pardon? It's a... Oh, in Bratwood? Dispo, yeah. And I went in and... You know when you're like, I'm going to smoke... I'm going to be high later and it almost starts affecting you before you even...
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like whenever i go there i kind of like turn into like a higher guy than normal like already before i've even you know anything because you're around sure yeah so i walked i walked in and i had this weird thought that they all thought i was a cop even though it's legal and so like i parked and i had sat you hadn't got you weren't high this was not high yet and i had parked i parked for too long i should have gotten out of the car quicker
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And I pulled up. My car kind of looks like something a cop would drive.
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I've never seen a cop in a Jeep ever. Yeah, I guess that's true. But so I got out. And I was wearing what I think a cop would wear to go buy weed. A police uniform? No, no. I had a very like, hello fellow smokers outfit on. It was what a guy who's never smoked weed would wear. I don't know. I was definitely in my own head. And I went in. What were you wearing? And she was like, first time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
and i was like nah nope and like kind of like fumbled that interaction she's like okay like whatever scanned my id i went in and i what i meant to ask her she was helping this other couple and i asked her a question if something if this was uh indica or a hybrid and And I didn't get it out. It was like I had Googled the terms beforehand. And I was like, is this Indica?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
And she was like, no, it doesn't say it on the thing. Whatever. And so I go. And then on my way out, she was like, have a great day. And we'd already talked. And I was like, hi, thank you. All right. And then went and sat in my car and was like, oh, I fucked that up so bad. And then I was trying to connect to the Bluetooth. So I was in the lot for like five minutes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I felt like they thought I was a cop. There's no way they thought you were a cop. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
And why would that even... I don't know. I was in my own head. But I also realized, like, this is a legal business. Yeah, there's no... Like, a cop could go buy weed there. And then I went home... So you jumped straight to the police station. I went home, and I found an old pen that I had in my desk drawer. I was like, I haven't done that in a while. Nice. And tried it, and I forgot...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
like edibles i feel you can take an edible and kind of be like a normal guy yeah the pen i forgot how much the pen just like fries me yeah i don't ever like ingest weed other than edible
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
yeah because i agree it gets me gets me like stony baloney like totally like i'm like munchies and like a big like a com like a comedy cartoon south south rick and morty oh rick and morty when i'm off that kazaa kushi sticky icky yeah Oh, I remember what I was going to say. So I found this new game called No Man's Sky. It's not a new game. It's a very popular game, but it's new to me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
What's it on? It's on Xbox, or I've been playing it on Xbox, and it's an infinite game. So these kids made it, and there's an infinite amount of galaxies. So you're like an astronaut, but you're constantly in danger. You constantly need to be harvesting chemicals to... You have to track down new chemicals on this planet to keep your suit intact. So it's like real life. It's real life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
and I felt great while doing it, and I didn't feel like I had to drink to keep up with everyone because I was drinking triples. Triple is born from a desire to blend THC's social buzz with the social ritual of sipping on a seltzer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
To get it now, go to drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE to get 10% off your order. That's drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE for 10% off your order. Triple, redefining the party landscape. Let's get back into the episode. Did you guys see the Jonas Brothers last night? Yeah, they went to a bar. There was like a camp rock trivia and they found out and showed up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
i was thinking like and then they just took over the role as mc and the guy whose job it was was off to the side it was so mad you imagine being like that's your gig like tuesdays i like knock trivia actually mad no but you they would panic because they the journalists weren't listening to like weren't playing by the rules no which is also a nightmare for a trivia guy that sounds like a disaster trivia every week that is their worst nightmare yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
yeah this is fun let's get back we're on number seven they were just making up questions no so like kevin would be like oh everyone's gonna know this like who did this in the movie and he would put the mic out and everyone would like yell their answers and then it oh that's a nightmare it panned to the mc and the mc was like they still have to write it down they still have to write it down that is yeah oh yeah we should do something like that
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Right. Elise, have you had Skyline?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Do you think we're on... Do you think that we could get a crowd that big? No, just like general trivia. Be like, we're general guys. We're here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I think when you're that... Like, they're trying to hold on to it, right? Like, they're not at the point anymore where, like, I need to wear all black. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Oh, so wait, Willie, this isn't even Skyline chili. No, I haven't. For the record, I said I wouldn't like Skyline chili. This is a secret recipe. Skyline chili is way better than this. Not way better, but better. It's the same type of chili.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
They're just like, I don't give a fuck.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
i don't know well it's like if i see a guy in a like generic black baseball hat pulled all the way down and i don't recognize him i'm gonna be like oh that guy's famous yeah now i need to figure out who it is like it's almost like i'm trying not to be seen but like also like i'm the disguise of fame now i feel like it's like a ball cap and sunglasses yes sometimes i'll just walk around my neighborhood like it's no big machine gun kelly wore uh cat ears on our flight once
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Yeah. They dropped him off in the Porsche, too. Like, they gave him the service. They drove, like, a Porsche up to the gate. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Daughter of Guy Fox. Who's that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
We are F-A-W-K-E-S. Times are good in the Fox house. Yeah. Remember, remember?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Something of November. So this was just a backwards way to get Lauren. You foxed her. I guy foxed you. I made you look up that mask. He was born in 1570. What an insane year. What was even happening? I think that was like a 300 or 400 year old. It was the middle ages. We made no progress.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Yeah, but she made it trying to mimic Skyline chili. Is this going to run through me? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
taking a break they were like we're not gonna make any progress for a while what happened that made them make progress all of a sudden uh i don't know something with like it was cool to like create people in the middle ages people were just trying to survive because there was like the black death and shit in like the 1300s and so there wasn't time to be like let's create like art and stuff like like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
And then in the span of a couple hundred years, they figured out depth and stuff in painting. Because no one had time to sit and think about that stuff. Depth in painting? What the hell?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
But how would that lead to society advancing? They had time to think about these things.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
When your entire... I think 70% of the world died. You don't have time to be like, I wonder if math or... Yeah. I wonder... The people at Alfalfa yesterday thought I was stealing. I got my first salad and it went horribly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
So I thought I got there before it was ready. It was my first salad there. And I sat down. I walked and I looked at the wall and all the names were like Luke L. I was like, oh, this Luke L guy is hungry. I had sat down and then I realized, oh, that's definitely the name of the guy that made it. It's like, oh, I ordered the Luke-al salad. Yeah. And so I went back to check.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I'd already been sitting there for five minutes, and the lady had seen me sitting there. She had seen me check. And then so when I went back, and now miraculously my salad is there, and no other ones have come out. And then when I grabbed it... I grabbed it by the receipt on accident. And so I ripped the receipt off and then walked out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
And then right outside of the glass, I go, oh, I probably need a fork for this. So I turned around with it, looked in the bag, there was a fork. And then I go, oh, perfect. And then I walked away. Is this a salad I want? Oh, perfect. It looked like I grabbed a random bag, checked to see if it was something I would like, and then hustled off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
And then I realized how bad it seemed, so I kind of picked up the pace. Start running. I jogged away. And I was like, they definitely thought I just... But they didn't say anything. No, but when I looked back, she was looking at me, looked through the thing, and then I closed it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Okay. It's definitely not. He was never going to say he liked it. No, no, no. Well, I got to kind of mix it. I'll take that. I will concede that I thought it was going to taste. I thought Skyline Chili was going to taste. You said it was like Malort. Yeah. I thought it was going to be. So I was wrong.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Put a picture of it right here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
That's good. All right. That was our weekly chili segment. Thank you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Oh, try the young shepherdess down there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
See also. Oh. It's like a spinoff. Oh, closer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
If they wouldn't pick up your FaceTime, they should be at your wedding. And I was like, most of my good friends would not pick up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
my dad's best best friend to my dinner like that's just a weird clarification yeah that's weird but you need the money to pay for the wedding sometimes so right yeah brutal i saw a girl and her husband or her fiance made an excel sheet and they ranked everyone they made a list of everyone that like could be invited and they had four categories and they ranked it and if they weren't an eight they didn't get invited and they posted a video of it on tiktok no way can you imagine like stopping the video and being like i was a
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I like that you were like, I just don't want it to get cold and then served us ice cold chili. Wait, is it cold?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
five six for looks barely made it willie and i went on chat gbt the other day and asked it who was hotter and it said that will is significantly better looking physically but that i'm in quotes the whole package
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I'll take that. It's a robot. All it sees is images.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It doesn't know me. It also gave me some of Will's traits. It was like, Rusty's mustache and mullet combo is just irresistible or whatever. Will was like, that's my thing. I have the mullet. It's my full kind of personality. I have the mullet. Mullet. Elise, are you in a book club or have you ever been?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I need advice on my book club.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It's getting too big. It's getting far too big. The club? The club's getting too big? It used to be... Yeah, you know when like... You know when like you... What? Sorry. No, what were you going to say? You have more than two people reading that weird pirate book? There's like nine people in the book club now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Me, Edge, Motts, Paige, Kate Klossner, Chris Powers...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
and like maybe one other and it's the one that you do a chapter a week yeah there are two chapters but now isn't everyone at like different points in the book because they're all having to catch up and we actually had to i was super excited to talk about chapter seven but page wasn't there yet so well we didn't get to then she gets out there should be rules yeah she gets cut page is also the our director of podcast and is definitely going to hear this so page read your book
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I thought it was hot. Okay, Elise, to fill you in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Read your book, Paige. Read your book.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I feel like the bigger, it can be more fun because then you have more opinions and conversations.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Agreed, but not when it was just me and Edge. There was nothing I said was wrong. And now they're like, Mott's is super well read on the subject. And I'll like say, I'll like make a point that I think is a home run. And I'm like, well, actually, you know, this is kind of how that went.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
see this book that would be just you guys discussing common interest because you're friends but i think i need it i think eight people is like it probably good for a book club but yeah i mean that would get brutal with the i'd rather be a big fish in a small pond no that makes total sense than a fucking minnow and a moth eats me like a shark yeah i mean he but that's like it's it's not about the size of the book club it's about the size of the sharks you're bringing in that's a good point that's so true maybe i need a
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I need to bring in some dumber guys. Yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
what a strange what an odd way to start the morning slash podcast so you like it it's much better than i thought i'll concede that dub um so at least to fill you in there's a girl in my apartment building that we're kind of on the same schedule so we're always in the we've been in the elevator together multiple times okay she has a dog
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
For sure. Get some homeless guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Right now, I'm in the bottom 25%.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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When do you have these conversations?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Is it a Zoom call? Thursdays over coffee.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, you all go and get coffee.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
We all get coffee and we talk about it. Oh, that's cute. And they all do it freehand. I have to bring my book with me to read my notes. They all remember everything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
about it and that's frustrating then i'm the only guy walking around with a book i think that makes you look cool yeah i think having a book didn't you just say the other week that you have the appeal of reading a book is that some other people will see 90 percent of the reason i read is because or i'll have to reread a passage because i'll be reading it and the whole time i'm thinking about how cool it'd be if someone walked in on me reading yeah but do you read in public too no yeah i read it i read at my desk in my room by candlelight
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah. But it's just jealousy. No. It's a look at me thing to do.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Bar is insane. I even have that thought about people at coffee shops.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Coffee shop, I think, is totally... Oh, even in coffee shops, every person that walks through the door, I'm looking up. I never end up reading past a page, I feel like, if I bring a book.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
My girlfriend and I went to walk to coffee the other day, and there was a guy reading his book. And when we walked in, he was on page one. I made a note of it. And I was like, oh, that's cool. He's starting a book. And then we were in line, and I kind of said the same thing to her. I was like, get a load of this fucking guy. This is a real look at me movie. She was like, he's just reading.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Leave him alone. And then when we left after 20 minutes, he was still on... He had made no... dent in it. He was on the table of contents. And I was like, he's just doing it. He's just sitting out there so that some girl sees the book and is like, oh, I love that book.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining Leopardi Landscape.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I'm going to go read Infinite Jest at Winston House until I get a girlfriend. That's what I'm saying. That was the vibe. Until I get a girlfriend. Sitting at Jameson's reading like a scroll.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
It's like brutal. What do you guys think Taylor Swift wore at the Super Bowl yesterday?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Yeah. What? When this comes out. I don't know why. We were talking about the Super Bowl earlier.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I'm excited to see that. I think she wore black skinny jeans, boots that stop here, and a Chiefs jacket that's made...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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quite for me there was one i love you don't like the tea on it she had like the black bucket hat with the with the red fuzzy jacket did you see that red jacket i did like that stands for to will do you think it's do you think yeah she knows that these outfits are a little strange and maybe she's like catering to the people that are taylor's fans where it's like i'm gonna dress like they would dress so that they can see themselves in me a little bit
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
She dresses like your mom's friend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I told a couple weeks ago that I walked into the elevator and the dog had a cast on. I have to address that. So I took my headphones off and I said, oh, like what happened? And she was like, jumped off the roof. And I was like, oh, what? Why? And then I tried to like lighten the mood. So I looked at the dog. I was like, why would you do that, sweetheart? And the owner goes, just to feel something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You're surrounded by yes men. If you and I became billionaires, we would have a hard time getting dressed in the morning because everyone around you is like, dude, that looks killer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I don't understand that Blake Lively, Justin Balboa. Wait, Blake and Taylor, I thought they were like best friends.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Taylor's like distancing herself.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Yeah. That's what all the news headlines and tabloids and stuff. Did you listen to that six minute voicemail that he left? Of course I did.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
It made me not want to be around.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
it was six minutes and he's like you probably got he's like i know it's 2 a.m but like you probably got like a baby on your boob but like what i just wanted to let you know like i'm so grateful for like this experience and like i just want to like be around you yeah he was like i can't wait to have all of you yeah every piece of you i was like oh wait i thought she did something they both are they both are freaks they're just being like no he's the freak no she's the freak it's like you guys are both
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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What do you tell yourself to like... What is he doing? What's on his phone?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
On the DVD menu. You have to choose. I guess the file's too big for both now. You have to pick. It's a video game. Oh, shit. Big streaming, dude. That's what they'll do. They'll split it right down the middle.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
And then it was my stop. So we didn't get to like disgusted anymore coming home from work the other day get in the elevator dog still has a cast on i said um i said oh how's the leg coming along she goes we're gonna have to put her down what no and i was like oh what and she was like I was like, really? That seems like a kind of a drastic measure to take. She's like, yeah, I'm just kidding.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Oh, is that that's like a brand he recommended. So walking past Ed, he's like, you coming over for Naked Sundays this weekend?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Yeah. That's something that would happen like Friday night lights.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I was just thinking that notes app is kind of a funny, here's, this is like a show idea or maybe when we have guests on, we make them take out their notes app. I like that. I feel like you can learn a lot about people. All right. Let's read.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
We're learning. We're working.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
The only thing I have written down is being the random guy in someone else's roller coaster photo. I was thinking about this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Will has a photo in our office of like him and like his two friends. Or I always thought it was like him and his like squad. Yeah. And I was like, I don't really know that other guy, but he's like smiling at the camera and like fits right in. Like it looks like you'd be Willie's buddy. And I was like, all right, so that's Scott. That's Lily. Who's that guy? It was Leah. Leah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
And he was like, I don't know. He just mixed up two of my Asian friends.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
is this how it happens is this how you get canceled you're seeing the moment and there's just another guy like smiling at the camera like having the greatest time ever and will was like yeah it's just a random guy and i have a roller coaster photo in my i rode velocity coaster for the big first time over thanksgiving break no big deal and uh what's velocity coaster it's the scariest coaster in the world it's the fastest coaster in the world feels subjective it's so it i would think i would say most people would agree it's the scariest at universal
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
And I was scared of roller coasters going... Upside down and stuff? It goes upside down. Your head, like, almost touches the water at one point. Like, it's, like, legit. But it's new, so it's really smooth. Like, some of the other ones, like, you're up... Like, I got off Hulk. Yeah. Like, wanted to vomit. But I was terrified of roller coasters. My cousins were, like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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We're getting over this today. And what had always stopped me was my sister, Kara, would always get in my head. Like the whole ride there, I'd be like, it's so scary, dude. And then everyone else, we went without them. It was just the cousins minus my sister. And everyone was like, yeah, this is going to be awesome. And they just put me in the right headspace.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And they didn't give me an option to get off. It was just like, we're getting, we just got in line. And then you can't be the guy that leaves line. So I did it. That's awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I have a lot of memories of there was like one other kid in my cousin's friend group that was also scared of roller coasters. And we'd sit with everyone's phones and just talk shit about them while they were gone. It doesn't even look fun. I was also very scared. And Owen Wallace loved him. And it was like a big kind of rift in our relationship. And then eventually I...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And they're awesome, right? I overcame it when I was like 10 or something and it was the best decision I ever made. I almost like we got off, Felice, and I was like, oh, I can't believe that's what I've been afraid of this whole time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I was like, oh, okay. And it was so funny, but I didn't have time to fully process it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Oh. Yeah, that would be like... And then it becomes worth something. Mm-hmm. Then you gotta get rid of that keychain. Oh, it's like the Menendez Brothers card. Yeah. Ever heard that, Elise? The card? It's like a famous basketball card of this guy on the Knicks, and in the background, the Menendez Brothers are just sitting courtside. No way. Yeah, and it's worth like... It's kind of like a...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I think he was a good player, but it wouldn't be worth... It was Mark Jackson.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
It wouldn't be worth nearly as much as it is now. Look up Mark Jackson. It was after they killed their parents.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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They went on this spending spree. Those boys are crazy. Yeah. Look at these guys. Go over to Lauren. One more.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And he's wearing a shirt that's just like, I'm going to kill my dad. I would have gotten away with it too, but Eric had to fucking tell his therapist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I kind of wanted the eggplant parm anyways yeah we were talking about this the other day though we obviously not even nearly to the degree but like we have one of the only jobs where like your success or failure is like very public and like people get to like comment on it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And so she got out and I didn't get to tell her that I thought it was funny because I was just in shock. But we're not... We're not like... We've only interacted those two times. So she's just gotten me twice. So you got Raz twice. I got Raz twice by the same girl. So you...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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yeah they'll be like will you had a great day today or like yeah i i that is like you were like good episode out of you i was like i was just like hanging out i don't know and one thing someone will say about you could cripple it yeah well that's the other thing i don't he read one negative comment on the there were hundreds of positive ones and then there was one one that was like i didn't really care for this episode and it was like he like ate him alive not even that mean it's just like wasn't for me and you're like i'll kill myself yep i was yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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At least I didn't say my body's shaped weird.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
oh i'm like right here i can't go down that road because your chin you mess with your chin you're zac afron and you feel like make sure they're there you're like no i have them they have been there they were there or if you get like one pot you haven't changed anything about your diet or exercise plan but you've gotten like one positive comment you're like like yeah i'm doing the right thing you're killing it i had eight beers today i'm not doing i need to not listen to these whatever i'm doing is amazing
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Listen, I was struggling with like feeling really groggy when I get up in the mornings. Kind of hard to get my day started on a good note. Sometimes caffeine can be too much. Makes me a little gentry and what's not. You know, I feel like we live in California. We hear all this stuff about mushrooms. Everyone's finding like cool ways to do mushrooms that are cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Visit dollarshaveclub.com slash playdate and use promo code playdate for 20% off $20 or more. And remember, whatever you shave, welcome to the club. Should we roadmap it up?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
All right. Elise, this is the part of the episode where we are an hour in, but we tell people what the episode is going to be about.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Then I watched Grammy and there she is. Yeah, she does roast for a living. But it was shocking. That's really funny. She seems really cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I'm going to go pee while you do it. I hate it. Perfect. All right, we have a beautiful episode for you guys today. We are going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches. And then Willie is going to do the permitting division of the building department, which is, at least if you're not familiar. I'm familiar. You are familiar? Hell yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
The episode that came out on Wednesday, so today, a guy's dad installed a sauna. The southern dad, and I called him and told him it was too high. Okay. And then we were going to have to come sand it down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
And then we were going to do teach me something followed by this guy rocks, this guy rocks, this guy rocks today. And then we're going to do everyone's favorite segment sayings that don't exist followed by romantic comedies that don't exist. Elise, are you, how do you feel about the amount of segments I just said that we have left?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Do you ever have a hard time explaining to people like adults that have a normal job like what you do?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Imagine if part of your job was I come up with things that don't exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I don't have a bike here but I biked all the time I even brought my bike to college and I miss it but I just moved and we have a balcony now so I'm like thinking of getting one why does that matter because I would have somewhere to put it like I don't want to just put it in my living room or my bedroom you know like I actually have like a spot but I love biking
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I feel like it would be hard in your area. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
it was shocking but i think she's the funniest person in our building at least oh yeah wow but also you think she knows she's the funniest person in your building yeah yeah she walked away she's like she walked she walked in she strutted out of the elevator like i got him twice she walked past the doorman like tossed her keys keep it running her dog is like lol so what have you been up to at least
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
what do you mean oh pizza uh yeah well also they have like little like breaks on the back kind of so if you pop like put your heel up it's not yeah it's not that hard my dad was he did it every day my parents were here this past weekend and they every day he went out and rollerbladed that's so cool he's like a hockey player so he likes to that's cute that's funny wait did they bring a pick no he rented him you can i guess rent him down that'd be funny he like checks a bag so we can bring his rollerblades that's so cute
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
One time when we were growing up. Are you going to ask me how it went?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
We're talking about rollerblading and bikes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
My dad got a ticket one time on his motorcycle. He was, like, going somewhere really late. He was at a red light. You know, in, like, the... Wait, both your dads rode motorcycles? Until, like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I guess. My dad had one too. What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Until like Kara was born, I think. But he had like one really bad spill and he sold his motorcycle and never got on one again. But he was out of light and the sensor wouldn't pick it up. And so he was just sitting there like trying to like get the light to recognize him because he didn't want to run red light. I think like if he had just gone slowly, it wouldn't have been an issue.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
But he said he was like really frustrated. So he like gunned it out of this thing. And a cop pulled him over, gave a big ticket. Jeez.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Wait, what the hell were we just saying? You were saying your dad rollerbladed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
He said there's no way. I didn't say there's no way. I just was, I wasn't familiar with like brick and mortar ham locations.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
No. We looked it up. Well, I know, I knew it from the thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
But here's, I think this is a good question. Lauren almost fell out of her seat. She thought she meant when, Jesus, when Will said that your family owned a Honey Baked Ham, she thought he meant the whole company. I'm so rich.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
No, yeah. I was like, whoa. No, whatever the opposite of that is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I fix cookies the side.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Yeah. Da Ham Man. Everyone cheers when he drives by. They're like, get him, man. All right, should we hear some pitches, Lauren? Oh, yeah, you want to hear some pitches, Lauren?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Yeah, we didn't think about that at the time. Playmates. There's a lot. We blur the lines between, like, sometimes it feels like a children's thing, and then other times it's not. I feel like our Blancs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Beautiful. And our little guys. All right, so you're the guest. You get to pick which shark you want to be, and then Will and I have to pick after that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
yo dog all right first pitch is from sean o'leary oh same last name yeah this is already going well sean says what about soul or what up soul i was thinking for a nickname soul soul yep yep what up fam here's my pitch what is the worst part about direction apps let's think about it what's the worst part about direction apps um sometimes i like map gets zoomed out and i get really flustered yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
you have to go where it tells you to and you have no freedom.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Okay. Sean says... No games. They don't tell... No games. No games to play while you drive. No. They don't tell you the weather you're going to be expecting on the way to wherever you're going. Have you ever been driving or trying to drive somewhere and get caught in a storm because you didn't think to check the weather on the way to where you're going?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
This pitch would be to make a new app or combine the weather app and Apple Maps to show what good or bad weather will be coming during your drive.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Wait, that's awesome. Like you could see up. Oh, there's going to be rain up there. I like that a lot. I like that a lot as well.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Yeah. Or if it's like a snowstorm. Mm-hmm. I mean, I think this would be most helpful for like a road trip.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Yeah, that would be concerning if you're driving to Santa Monica and it was like snowstorm on 4th.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
It'd be fun if they gave it, you could like join parades. So if you're on like a cross country trip, it's like a parade's happening here. You just like join the line.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
you guys would love that there needs to be more parades yeah for like whatever you you would love new orleans i found out when i was there that mardi gras not one day it's like a week two it's like a month two months i love that my friend they do like parades every almost every day my friend tatum is at tulane and she's very upset that they for the first time ever they made spring break during mardi gras so kids have to pick now she's very upset oh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Awesome. Yeah, I get to do spring break even when I'm way out of college.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
There were kids because spring break happened during COVID or COVID happened during spring break for us. And there were there were like a group of ragtag Rollins kids that got stuck on some island.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
The school had to like pay for they just were on vacation for like the beginning of COVID. That's pretty cool. Geez. All right. I love it. Let's hear another pitch, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Thank you, Sean. Next pitch is from Steven. Steven says, Howdy and good day to Laura Dog and the Birkenstock boys. I hear the boys talking a lot about how bad... Wait, what the hell? I hear the boys talking a lot about having to ghost someone and how bad they feel afterwards. So what if... For the record, I said... Your girlfriend? No, I said I've never done it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Willie said he's done it many times.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Yeah, I don't. Like, not in a while. Like, I don't feel good about it. Yeah, no, but... I think it happens sometimes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
yeah when you don't want to talk to anyone anymore and you hope you never see him again yeah yeah but you might and that's what's brutal about it yeah but it's not like crazy like it's a normal part of life to some degree yeah he says what if there was an app that you could use powered by chat gbt which would do all the ghosting for you with going ghost if you had a bad date or lost interest in a person
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
perspective relationship you could plug their number into the app and all of their text would forward there to be read and used as prompts so the app could delicately and politely decline any messages from this person how easy would that be the page here would even work on family members no more having to excuse yourself from your drunk aunt's church invites or your weird cousin's request to hang out going ghost
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
You know, sometimes it'll say, like, sent with Siri. Like, if someone sends you a text, that way it's, like, breaking up with them and it's, like, sent with, what's it called? Sent with going ghost. Sent with going ghost. And you're like, oh, okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
My favorite time with you is hanging out in the house. Oil need for joints.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
All right. Who wants to hear the best pitch of the year?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
What is the worst part about... setting deadlines for yourself or like having things to do you have a to-do list and like you have to get stuff done i think like knowing that i probably won't do it till right at the end exactly or you might not even do it all together and you just give yourself the pass introducing the headmaster
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
It is a robot that acts like a headmaster from, like, a very strict school. And you put in what you have to do, and it says when you need to get it done by. And if you don't get it done by the deadline, it will discipline you accordingly. Is there, like, any sexy element to it? No, I realized that the headmaster was a confusing name. Because that's what they called me in high school. Right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
You're the best at getting it or giving it. What? Both. No. I used to wear dresses like Dolores Umbridge. That guy, Will's so good at getting head. So good at it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
And if you do do it, it rewards you accordingly. So then it could be the headmaster. It could be the headmaster. You're like, I need to get this paper done by this time. And if I don't, I need a 5 out of 10 punishment.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
It would float, too. That's what I was asking. For an extra couple hundred bucks, you can make it look like you're like principal or headmaster so it's like it's real dude i think i mean i would not do the extra money mr shay is in the corner you know um professor umbridge yeah of course and she's like mean yeah look up do you know that's a word umbridge
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
yeah umbridge definition all of the thing i didn't know this was when i was a kid she just looked up like greek like greek word for this and then just made that the spell really yeah all like all of them umbridge is a word that means what is it offense or annoyance that's pretty it's a noun yeah verb oh like that's an oh i don't know this she's the worst
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Deep down, you know you are wrong and you need to be disciplined.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I haven't either. I read the first four.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
That's why like I'm, I know the movies back to front, but there's a lot of Harry Potter trivia that's like only in the books, like stuff you would only know if you read the book.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
And so like I don't score well on the tests.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
So they went to see the first movie. He read it that way?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Do people name their kids that now? Definitely not. Oh, okay. That's good. I can live with that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
LeBron. There's probably a similar amount of LeBrons as there are Hermione's. These are my kids, LeBron and Hermione.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Hermione's the really good basketball player and LeBron's showing some prowess and spells.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
The spelling of Hermione is like gorgeous, but yeah. When you say it, it's like, I don't want to be named that. Hermione does not sound like... Your dad read that out?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
That's so funny. He's sitting in the theater like... I think they were like, we're going to go see it. And they're in their theater like, oh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Every place has their own name for it. Sometimes I'll be like, I'll do an everything with chive. The guy's like, you mean scallion? A multi-seed with scallion?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
The first mistake, though, where they put you with Chester is like, okay, that makes sense. Chester used to do it. Yes. Mistaking you for me and putting my full name on it is like, at that point, it's not a clerical error. It's like someone either thinks this is hilarious or
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
You know, you just broke our glass ceiling. Our gender barrier. Yes. Yeah. How's that feel?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
That feels like the bagel shop in my school. It was clear they weren't cleaning the knives because you'd ask for regular cream cheese and the little hint of strawberry in there and you'd be like, oh. That's disgusting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I love it, Willie. What's the first bagel you would get? A half everything, half Asiago.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Oh, it's so good. Regular. On both? Yep. I do blueberry with jalapeno. A little sweet and spicy action.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Yes. Yes. I love you guys. All right. Pitch us a lease.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
He got something in his eye. Oh,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Oh, that stung. I'm going to get so buzzed now, though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Superman fell into the vat of like whatever and he got all his powers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I haven't seen it. At least tell me that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
they go he might be better i don't know they're trying to save the show what about this guy no we're telling you it's willie i saw the train okay now it says mike davis who's that they hire a new guy just to put him in the live show i went to your live show at groundlings and saw the trampoline thing oh because joe's joe's girlfriend uh is like a big fan of Elise's.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Cut to next week. We're coming back here. If time travel is a thing in our lifetime, future me and you are going to show up right now. And I am going to be... This is like God ugly. One of us is goth.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Happy for the Chiefs, though. I can't believe Taylor and Travis showed that they're engaged. Did tongue on the field.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Do we want to do our building department thing? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I'll do it. I just said I didn't want to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I hate it. I get so nervous. He loves it when it's not him, though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Last week, his face was like where you're sitting. No, I couldn't even. I plugged my ears. I can't hear it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will, do you want to do the one?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
shave a few holes off the nozzle and find you thousands of dollars all right that is so scary if this other girl sends uh the number by the time we're done we can call it i thought that was no no that was really so scary i'm really good i got a good job do you like the nozzle part that was really funny and the reptiles and amphibians in the area where do they live like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
She's also in... I didn't even know that. She's in the Step Below You in Groundlings or whatever. She had just started when... Wait, really?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I think it's like the perfect beach drink, which is I'm looking forward. I mean, I guess I could go to the beach and drink it now. It's a little cold. So I'm looking forward to the summer. I'll tell you that. Guys, grab a refreshing twisted tea today. Spin it on your finger like a basketball. Whatever it takes. Have a great day and make it greater with twisted tea. Let's get back into the episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
All right. Would you guys rather, at least you're the guest, you get to pick. Would you rather start with this guy rocks or teach me something?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Hey, hey, where are these guy rocks? Pause this immediately.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Oh, you deleted it? Yeah. Oh, you can, like, download a VPN, I think.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
This is a gentleman who is doing slam poetry. and he's got some stuff on his mind. I think he's a little frustrated with, you know, the state of, you know, his town and just, you know, the country as a whole. So let's hear what he's got to say.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
This is what I've been trying to say. You know Joe? Pomeroy? No, Craven. Sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
No, that would be crazy. Just a guy he knows. She was like, do you want to come to Groundlings with us? And I think in hindsight, it was definitely like, if I come, we'll talk to Elise after. And I just didn't put that together. And so I went, didn't tell you I was coming, watched the show, and then immediately left and didn't say hello to you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
All right. I select you mine. Wow. What did you think about that, Willie? I liked it. I liked the part where he said all the stuff that was white. Elise, any thoughts?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I want to talk in that cadence.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I was going to say, he had a good...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I'm still a little on edge about it, to be honest.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I'm white as fuck. Hey, I'm white as fuck.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
It was brave. I'm Willie D. I'm white as fuck. I come straight out of the mud. All right, Willie, set this up for us. What's going on? I don't know. You just got to watch it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
It says my French horn is ruined.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
So apparently I'm in the French horn. This is my favorite comment. I remember being like this kid, glad people like this are still dropping.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I can try to Google whatever you're doing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
We're big fans of Cassandra's. Okay. Wait, what? Kenny Biggs?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
And then I think that just defeated the whole purpose of them bringing me. yeah it was just us three so you they were like it was just a utility you were just like yeah i think they were like using me or something but um yeah like didn't tell you i was coming yeah i met her after we had dinner we hung out with joe it was incredible you just left
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
I've heard it. It's insane. Crazy. Dude, the funniest part about this is she's like... That the mom believes it. This is not an animal sanctuary. This is a thing that RJ's trying to do. It almost feels like... The kid submitted it as a prank call, but also wants this to happen. Oh, so the kid submitted it. Yeah, this is the thing he's trying to do. That's fucking hysterical. So funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
That's so good. All right, should we teach each other something? Yeah, teach me something. Elise, start us off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
That's what he's in for. Honey laundering. Yeah. I think the funniest part about that is- They're behind bars. Yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Yeah. You never stop. The stealing hives part is so funny because it's like, unless they have some like apparatus that can like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
contain the bees like the there's just a guy running through your field with your hive he's like ow ow yeah yeah they like pull up trucks and then they were like doing it at night what did they have to do like a sting operation you're insane you don't stop i don't i can't i can't all right teach us something willie uh do you know owls ears are at different heights why because then they can hear more specifically where things are coming from
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They've got ears like here so then they can locate like that thing's like exactly there.
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Instead of hearing everything on the same plane. They look pretty even to me. Well, they're not. Look on that one two to the right, Lauren. Look up owl ears. Two to the right.
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Each one they're perfectly perpendicular.
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Those could not be more square. Look up owl ears. That's what's in the search bar. Dude, owls are scary. What's the first thing that comes up word-wise? Asymmetrical.
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They are really scary. That's crazy. I still don't fully understand how that would help, but I'm down.
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I'm with it. They got buzzed. Are you guys familiar with Somerset, England? No. It's a small town in England and recently a 9,100-year-old skeleton, a human skeleton, was found in this cave in Somerset, England. And it was preserved enough that they could do DNA tests on it. And this guy, Adrian...
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target target uh is just a school teacher in that town and he's a direct descendant of this guy 300 generations in the future look crazy how do they figure that out uh i guess they probably put it through like some sort of database wow any relation to the current target
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He's the heir to the target. He's like, I'm in for a lot of money. His family didn't migrate more than a couple miles from where this guy was. That's wild. 300 generations ago. I've already destroyed my family's legacy and bloodline by moving here. Right. Well, and you're not going to get married, so the good Denali name's going to die. Yeah. I want to be the last one to have it.
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Have you ever seen Little Rascals?
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It's the same thing as they found a woolly mammoth that was preserved enough that they're going to breed that DNA with elephant DNA and create another woolly mammoth. That's like what they did in Jurassic Park. How do they breed DNA?
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Herds of elephants are reappearing in Africa. That's a good sign. Really? Isn't that crazy? For the first time in like ever. You know they can't jump?
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elephants only mammal only mammal that can't jump that doesn't surprise me that was a trivia question a trivia i guess how would you how would you get them to try i don't know like if someone studied me and you for years like i don't think i've jumped in a while oh yeah true like maybe they just don't want to yeah because they're huge like i've shown no evidence that i can yeah like how do they tell them jump maybe they just know none of them have tried it
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Oh, yeah. Are you going to relapse? I think I'm going to relapse this weekend.
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How long did Liam do? Two weeks.
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I don't know. I discovered a way to double the effects of your beer last night on accident. It's called liquor. You know Rick gave me those zip ties? Were you choking yourself out?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I hung myself in the closet. And if you have the right amount of Pacificos, you get hammered. Rick gave me these zip ties to tighten my bed frame because the middle things fell out. And so I had to fasten them to the whole thing. But I didn't want to take the mattress all the way off. So I just opened the mattress and crawled under and held it up with my head while I did them like this.
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I think I let like way too many members of my family in. Instead of like meeting people in the stands. I was like in my underwear surrounded by like 40 people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And it stopped all the... it did something. I either stopped all the blood flow or whatever. I came out like super lightheaded and it literally felt like I was hammered.
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Everyone at home, everyone at home, stop what you're doing. Pause the podcast right now. Put your mattress on your head.
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You guys playmates? Yeah, I love your guys' stuff. All right, Elise, again, you're the guest. You get to pick. Would you rather finish up with sayings that don't exist or rom-coms that don't exist? First.
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I love it. Willie, tee it up. These are rom-coms that don't exist. Taylor and the Taylor. So a woman named Taylor is getting married and her, her fiance is this horrible guy. And the only person she can vent to is her Taylor, the person fitting her wedding dress. And so she's telling him like over, you know, the span of a couple of weeks, like all the horrible things he's done to her.
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And the guy holds his tongue because it's not polite to tell someone that they shouldn't marry someone. And then, uh, when he's doing his final, he keeps like fucking up on purpose. So he has a chance to like keep seeing her. And when it can't go any longer, on their final meeting, he confesses how he feels for her. And he tells her that she shouldn't marry this guy.
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It's really weird. I felt kind of embarrassed that you were going to see me at the show. Why? If I had told you ahead of time that I was coming, I don't think it would have been weird. But I think secretly sitting under my hat being like, I'm watching Elise.
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And they run off together and fall in love. I like that.
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I think they're all like six-year-old Jewish men.
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Do you have a tailor? Yeah. There's a guy in West Hollywood that was fitting me for a tux a couple months ago. And literally, you have to hold your breath.
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Brutal. Wow. All right, what do you got, Willie, or Elise?
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We have kind of a similar code of conduct to them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. The only time a woman's allowed is if it's a very special occasion.
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No, I thought that was a fake plot. That's the real plot?
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And they get to know each other and they fall in love. And at the end, he proposes. He says, will you marry me?
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Yes. Love is in the Ferris wheel.
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I thought he quit. Too tall. I haven't seen him in a while, actually.
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Yeah. They take a few inches off the top.
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Shave him down. My next one is Love is a Battleship. High to the Cold War.
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A Russian sub is getting hunted by an American sub. And the two technicians are kind of like taunting each other through like Morse code sonar. And then it kind of like turns like flirty, whatever. Cold War ends. They both kind of leave and forget about it. the American guy's at a bar and he hears this Russian guy telling people about this guy that got away.
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He was like, yeah, this really awesome rapport with this man. And we were, you know, communicating over sonar. And then the war ended, we never got to see each other again. And he overhears it and says, that was me. And then they fall in love.
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There's not much flushed out here.
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Oh, I thought that's what it was as well.
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I was like, when were you on the B train?
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I was on the B train. I think the B train. There should be. There's like a really elaborate metro system.
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But frankly, I don't get what the buzz is all about. You amaze me.
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You see him, he's just throwing up in the third row. What's going on? Well, didn't your husband see me?
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You're really on wheels this time. You're really on wheels.
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That's it. They get married. It's like a short film. My last one is called Coat Check. This guy works as a coat check at a bar. This beautiful woman comes in. They kind of have a brief exchange. She gives him her coat and then she goes to party.
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she faints in the middle of the bar the paramedics come and she goes into a coma and he visits her every day while she's in the hospital and he's like i wish i just you know had asked you out on a date or something before you went into this horrible coma and then she wakes up and he gives her um what is that crazy dome
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Your colleague's here. Your colleague's here. Look, Elise. He's like yelling in the middle of your chat. Elise, Elise. Hey.
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When she wakes up, he brings her a coat, and she says she was going to ask him for his number when she got her coat back, but she unfortunately went into a coma, and then they get married. That's awesome. I'm going to flush that one out a little more.
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Flush with love. Uh, this guy has like his old grandmother's ring that he's going to propose to his future's wife for, and he actually drops it in the toilet and flushes it.
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It was like a heirloom. Are Trudy's sayings that don't exist? I'm excited. I think I'm back this week. These are sayings that don't exist. Not watering the plant and blaming it for dying. Like if you don't take care of a relationship or something and they leave, it's not their fault. It's yours for not nurturing it. Amen.
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No, no, no. When you're at sea.
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No. No, no, no. It's like someone is saying that you're not qualified to give advice, but you're like, it doesn't take a sailor to understand when the boat's sinking.
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Yeah. I don't know why I couldn't deliver it. It's like if someone's saying that you're not qualified to give advice on it, if it's something super obvious, anyone could be qualified. Right. Yeah.
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That was one of the better ones you've done. I know, and then I just got flustered. You immediately went to the literal meaning.
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Stupid, stupid, stupid. You don't have to be an expert to have an opinion on something.
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If you stay in the shower too long, it might get cold. Sometimes you have to realize when a good thing has gone on long enough, and if you try and do it too long, it might turn sour. You know what's funny? I was also trying to think of sayings while in the shower. Because I was doing my last one in the shower, and I'm like, okay, shower, soap, cold.
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I had one about sometimes you've got to let the shower heat up before you step in it or something.
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But not taking accountability. Yeah. The camper too. Yeah.
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She, so she have a foot in both.
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Yeah. Yeah. You don't always hit the worm on the first bite. So, you know, when you try something and it goes well, that doesn't mean like it's good for. Why am I not being able to explain these at all? sometimes you're not going to immediately know whether something is wrong and it takes a little bit of testing it out and trying it out eating to find out.
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So, you know, you can't always trust your exact first impression. Like if you bite into an apple, there could still be a worm further in it.
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Uh, this one sucks. So I'll preface that. Uh, Waiting for someone else to hit the crosswalk button. Sometimes you need to take control of the situation. Don't wait for someone else to do it for you. You got to just do it.
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Cool. Can't drink your coffee the night before. Okay. You can only be so proactive.
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I love that. All right. Those were sayings that don't exist. Yep. Elise, what do you want to tell the people before we head out of here?
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How do you not know? I don't know. Wednesdays? Okay. Lauren, whose personality did you steal last weekend?
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Wait, I don't want to start. You start.
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Wait, I don't understand how we're going to do this. I don't know. Someone commented that we have to do it. This is you guys.
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We can't say whose personality we already stole for recording this before.
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I am going to steal... I'm going to steal a choir boy's personality. Perfect. Because I'm going to be on my best behavior in Nashville this weekend. Cut to Cut to him, like, humping the table at dinner.
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Will and I were ghost hunting, and the woman told us the reason that they put tablecloths all the way down to the floor is because the legs were too sexy and that all the boys were obsessed with the legs. What? Yeah, she's like, boys used to hump tables.
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She said it. I don't know if it's real. She also, in the same breath, told us she can teleport through the dimensions of time and space. Yeah.
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And then she went right out the window. Yeah, it was awesome.
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He's one year younger than me.
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Then he'll be the same age as me. My brother is on the 13th.
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My brother is on the 13th. I'm on the 13th.
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My brother's birthday is on February 13th.
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All right. Thank you so much for coming on, Elise.
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It's so fun. Elise will be on every Wednesday now. welcome excited for that all right have a great rest of your week and a good weekend and we'll see you guys on monday nope see you guys on wednesday jesus have a great day today tomorrow and we'll see you on wednesday love you
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It's not for lack of trying. Yeah, it seems that we just maybe connect more.
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It's going to be hard. And like the glow of his iPad. It's going to be hard for your acting to keep up with my homes is acting to get flags from the refs.
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Okay. This comes out on Monday. Crazy. That was a crazy thing that happened with Mahomes and the refs.
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Oh, I think... I think there's going to be a streaker. Yeah. I think Kenneth Gainwell is going to score a touchdown. Who's that? Back up running back for the Eagles.
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He got hurt, though, I think. Do you go to jail? Streaking? Yeah. Streaking? I think they take you, like, for the night type of thing. Yeah. But I think last year, like, some guys, like, bet a bunch on it and then went and did it. Yeah, but I think his bookie. Yeah, so he bet. What? I thought there was a fart over there. Did you just toot?
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He bet like a lot of money that there was going to be a streaker and then he was the streaker and then bragged about it in his book. He was just like, oh, that doesn't count. Did he say bragged about it in his book? No, like bragged about it in his book.
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something like that that feels good i have an update on a story from a previous podcast wait can i do one thing beforehand i just don't want to get cold i made my grim granny murphy's chili of course oh yeah which we leaked we accidentally or on purpose leaked the secret recipe yes and we had a big debate he thinks he's gonna hate it great i don't think i'm gonna hate it
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Brightest minds in South Carolina.
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Well, it's because it was making being weird cool. Yeah, they want to bring back old school jocks and stuff.
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We want like Glee type high school. Yeah. Phil's brother, my friend Phil from home, his brother's obsessed with Glee. I like Glee. But he doesn't have access to any streaming that like has it. So he has to watch it in like clips on YouTube. And like he's trying to piece it together. He'll call me and kind of explain.
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It's definitely on something. I think his parents are trying to get past this Glee obsession. Trying to push him towards the jocks. Yeah. But he'll call me and he's just like, Rachel, you know, this happened with Rachel today. Have you been thinking about Lea Michele not being able to read?
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Have you seen her sign stuff? Yeah, that's I think part of it. Her signature, someone at her book signing was like, can you write to whatever? And she kind of wrote some chicken scraps and then handed it to the guy. And the guy wrote to look up her signature.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I think it was like a director maybe floated it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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She draws a circle. No, Lea Michele can read. The rumor that she can't read is a conspiracy theory that began in 2018. What is strange?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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If you want something better than Gemini, I would try Perplexity AI. Yeah, it's our new sponsor.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
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because of the way it tastes and the way it makes me feel. Those are the two big things. I love the grapefruit one, which is what I'm holding, and I drink these every weekend with my friends. This weekend I had them while I was playing NCAA football with my roommate Scott, and I beat him. Sort of anecdotal, but it does seem to help. I was Utah and he was Georgia, and I still kicked his butt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she kissed the waiter on our date
Why do us middle-aged white women wear so much camo when we really just want to be seen?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
It was like a meet and greet and they would make out with the girls. I saw a video of it. I don't know. I remember thinking those guys were so cool. Yeah, I really like Jack and Jack. I thought they were funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, that's what you looked like. That kid was fucking freaky.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I don't... So what did they... You went there and they did what? She didn't go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Taking a minute to talk about our new partner, Hall of Fame Bets.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Guys, I feel like we're going a little haywire here. You can put whatever we want on the plane. I'm more trying to figure out what it looks like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Guys, download the Hall of Fame app today and get betting. Let's get back into the episode. And we're back. We're back. We just had a... I should probably cut all that. We had a concerning conversation about... It was a conversation.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Okay, sue me for saying that girls would probably like those guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I was a child. I was very, very into women when I was a child. Did you say you don't want to know?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Brother, you can probably imagine what I was doing. Taint stuff. Taint stuff. Come on. We were guys. Googling giant boobs. We found out that you could look at naked women on Wikipedia on the school laptops.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Speaking of textbooks. Lauren, you know, if you want to talk about something, you can just talk about it. You don't need to, you don't need to ask.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
It's a Blackhawk? Google how much a Blackhawk costs. I'm pretty sure a Blackhawk helicopter is like near a billion dollars. That might be your worst Google yet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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All right. Well, now I've done everything. That's actually very cool. Guy's never done anything. Guy's never seen anything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Well, now I've seen everything. That might be our best video. One of the best videos we've ever made. One time, Will and I were in a park in Manhattan, and we saw a bird. And Will took a video, and it pans up from the bird, and Will goes, whoop.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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That's crazy. You definitely could. It was right above that. You can just rewind. Now I've done everything. That's awesome. I'm immortalized. You're a mere mortal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Google price. Not image. We know what it looks like. We know what it looks like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Is she the Giggly Squad girl? No. That's Paige DeSorbo. I love her.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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We are textbook podcasters. I don't know how to feel about that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, yeah. Can the company pay for our lunch? I'll tell Edge we have a lot of brain. We actually do have to figure out scheduling again. Yeah, let's do exactly what we did last time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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What? He told me that you can expense... What, you're like walking around with boys at night?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Lucas is like the opposite of the guy who would want to walk me to my car.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It's like the threats coming from inside the house. Maybe he's scared. It's like better to dance with the devil you know. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Parking lot. Okay. Parking lot. When I pull into our parking lot. Why are you being all weird?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You Postmates-ed it? Yeah. He just throws it from the restaurant.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I had steak sandwich on Easter. I had brunch. Oh, that was funny. I completely botched the brunch strategy. So there was like lunch and breakfast food. Yeah. And I had oysters first.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And then that confused my body. Because now it was like, it feels weird to get breakfast after you've had oysters and stuff like that. Oh, I know what I wanted to tell you. When you pull into the parking lot, they scan your pass so that they can see it's valid. And every time... I'm like friends with the guy there because we see each other every day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And I scan it and an alarm goes off every single time. So I think something is wrong with my account, but he is too nice. We're like buddies, so he's just letting me go. But I'm very curious what the... Was it expired? No, I have the annual pass. So I scan it and it goes like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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maybe it's like a vip thing he rolls out the red carpet it's on the alarm it's like oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah all right we've talked about billion dollar helicopter guys what does a billion dollar car look like four doors regular car less than a regular car it's coated in gold two drivers
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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okay now we're getting one person does the accelerator one person does the gas so this is the same thing did somebody say accelerator i mean the brakes someone does the accelerator someone does the get there's a guy like in the engine room like throwing coal into the one person does the accelerator um trunk is a hundred dollars what yeah your brain i'm mad there's a hundred there's there's nine hundred thousand dollars in cash in the trunk and it's a pretty normal car
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Wait, that would still mean it's a $900 million car. Oh, it's a billion dollar car? Yeah. It's got a vape built into the steering wheel.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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That lady? No, that person also confusingly named Karen. Both car accidents that I've been in have been at the hands of an old woman named Karen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You're like, all right, fair. I was like, cool. We call it even, brother. My mom was like, no. Why are you negotiating with the toddler? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It was awesome. There was a kid. We were playing Kill the Carrier back then. It was a different time. There was a different name for it back then, but essentially Kill the Carrier.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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He went to a French school. French school would be like... I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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uh oh uh lauren we're drowning over here bail no no they have uh paris weekend what oh they can sit a parent's weekend oh yes paris weekend what should we get for lunch a cha-cha chicken cha-cha or alfalfa alfalfa i need to be health parents week paris weekend i cannot get my them to give me utensils at alfalfa
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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utensils give them to me that's what I do no just ask for them no but I'm saying they used to put them in the bag now when I ask for utensils they show me the receipt in giant caps letters it says no utensils and they're like you selected this and I was like I did not And then so I thought maybe it was a glitch. So I started selecting no utensils thinking maybe it was backwards.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And that would give me utensils. And then when it happened, then I'm like, okay, well, I kind of did that. Yeah, that was a bold strategy. They also still, I think, think I'm a thief a little bit. Thief.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Lauren goes... Did you get the wrap, bro? The West Coast wrap? Lauren goes, what's in your salad? Because I have Jack's Secret Salad. I sent her all... I went out of my way to send her all the ingredients. You have it all written down. I know that you just copied and pasted it. I didn't. I didn't have it written down. Really? I have it written down. You have Jack's Secret Salad written down?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And I was like, oh, I have it. That's so sweet. You saved my salad in case I needed one. That's just in my text. I just Google a cashew and it comes up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Go into your text and search my name and read the last thing you texted about me. Jack. I'll go in the notes app.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Your rig. What's the last thing I said about Rusty? I got a good one that found my notes up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I know. Will and I have a whiteboard to keep track of all our stuff, and Laura put her name under potential guests. One day. Dude, we're checking someone off the wish list. I have two people on my wish list on our whiteboard, and we're checking one off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Like, we don't see eye to eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These two pirates don't exactly see eye to eye. I saw a rejected New Yorker cartoon. New Yorker cartoon? New Yorker cartoon.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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i saw a rejected one the other day where it's a guy busts into the bedroom and there's two people like clearly they just had sex in the bed yeah he goes what my wife my wait my it said like my friend my friend and his wife in my friend and wife's bed or something that you would assume that he was breaking like catching someone but he's just in their room that's funny
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I'm tired of hearing all this stuff about how all booze is bad booze. All right. No, because now we've got light strike hard refresher. Look at this shit. This is a game changer. Come on. Come on. It's non-carbonated. It's made with coconut water, sea salt, 5% ABV, and is the first hard beverage that is built for the long game. All right. I know a thing or two about the long game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I was at a music festival this past weekend. Had to play the long game. I wish I'd had a few light strikes with me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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We're one for one. It's a personal favorite. Yeah, I haven't tried the lemon lime yet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I get a lot of alcohol stuff come across my desk. Rarely does a product come across that kind of takes me aback, gets my ears perked up. This one, this was a fantastic, I'm actually shocked no one had thought of it before. Or someone did think of it, and they made it, and it's delicious. Yes. Here's my thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Why is every alcohol drink, like, so much different than just a normal beverage that you would actually consume? You know what I mean? Like, I would never be drinking any of these drinks if there wasn't alcohol in it. This is my new jam. I like the packaging, too. Yeah, I'm loving it. And I can't wait for you guys to try it. Guys, try Light Strike today and tell them we sent you PSA.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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PSA from your thighs. They've been trapped in pants and ignored. Trapped in pants. They've been trapped in pants and ignored all winter long. They're pale.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So stylish, so comfortable. It feels illegal. But it's not. You checked, right? I Googled it. You Googled it? There's a gray area. That's all I need to hear. You have a pretty good chance in court of defending yourself.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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i know guys that do and i know guys that like something right in the middle person i go the seven inch inseam yeah lets people know hey my thighs are here but i'm being coy about it five five and a half is like you know all right now we're getting somewhere and then the four inch inseams reserved strictly for players come on maybe we should do that on the pod one time what show a bunch of thigh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Guys, whether you're getting dressed for your workday, a workout, or a weekend getaway, Chubbies has you covered for a limited time. Chubbies is giving our viewers 20% off your order with our code PLAY at chubbieshorts.com. That's code PLAY at chubbieshorts.com.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I don't really know. I've seen them. I've only seen like one or two. I've seen one of them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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She was, like, not even looking at it. Wait, look at the picture next to Billy, the guy that she's posed with. Yeah, Billy. I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say she maybe found it somewhere else. It's just that when he's like, I found love with Candace, and Jeff at the Tribal is like, what? And Jeff...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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When I think about them, I don't think like huge uggo. So yeah, she must have been cute. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I'm like, picture, they get their New Yorker a lot of times sent to our mailbox.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It translated to, like, you don't know anything, a donkey's smarter than you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Why did she get away with it? Dude, when I lived in Spain, I had to take English class, which is... I was pretty good at it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, like, I take the underground. Yeah. And so I was, like, underground.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Did you get the points back? No. And then I also got like – I would get questions wrong like at least one or two questions wrong every test because there's like stuff that we say colloquially that I guess like maybe wouldn't be like how they would teach it. What does that mean? Like –
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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like in like dialogue like like it would be like you you got or like i don't know there was just like there's like weird ways of phrasing things technically i don't know are we in the wrong or the british i guess no i'm saying like english i i think even in american english there's stuff that we say like informally that isn't the right way to say i'm trying to think like an example but anyway it wasn't i didn't get a hundred percent i'm sorry i'm really sorry
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Episode 102. 102-sy. Derek Jeter. Fuck him. Yep. Derek Jeter. Derek Cheater.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Speaking of helicopters and our main man probes, one of the coolest, I don't know if he's done this multiple seasons. Yeah. There was one season where he does the intro from a helicopter, and then it does an inverted dive. And he's, or not like, I exaggerate a little bit. He, it like peels off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And then we're going to do everyone's favorite segment, Teach Me Something, followed by Discovery Channel shows that don't exist and party tricks that don't exist. And then we're going to wrap up with a new edition of Rusty's Song of the Day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Babraham Lincoln. Dude, I was at the bar last night getting grinded on by this Babraham Lincoln. Babasaurus Rex. That's my impression of the worst guy ever. Guy you did not invite over. Guy who's somehow still at your house.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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She grinded a hole in my pants. My pants are ruined from how much this babe was grinding on my crotch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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No. It was Babe Ruth. Someone came in with a sander and sanded a hole in my crotch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So there I was, squatting over my floor mirror. Staring back at me, the one-eyed monster. Are you guys going to miss me the next two recordings?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And he's outside of the helicopter, and it's like, it's kind of how Tom Cruise. Yeah, yeah, it's like a stunt. You have to be like, sometimes I feel like I would be worried as a director and try to bring Tom back down to earth. You realize you're not the character. You know what I mean? Like, Probst is so cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Surely he was anchored in somehow, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Hi, Andrew. Hey, Andrew. Andrew, put a big boing sound. Andrew, put a picture of Will and I kissing here. Put a picture of my taint. All right, blur Will's taint picture. All right, go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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There's a staple in the bottom of your shoe. I'm being dead serious. Look at that. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Earth. Okay, so I just somehow got to... I forgot earth. I was first to mark it and just immediately got my last choice. You got earth?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Scary. I'm scared. Too much adrenaline after. When you close your eyes, you're still picturing crazy fight scenes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Sorry. I love this already. If Renee does what I think she's about to do, she's going to knock this out of the fucking park.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Because Star Wars goes from, like, really interesting dialogue to, like, pew, pew, pew, pew.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And we had to turn it back up. We literally did. It was crazy. Yeah, that's great. The timing of this is impeccable.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Renee, let's just say we're happy to have you as a playmate. Yeah. You understand what this is all about. In. Sold. I want this. Bingo.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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He's looking good. Did you know Randy means horny? Oh, yeah. What is that in again? It's just, what do you mean? It's just a word. Oh, sorry. Like the dictionary. That's what I was like. I'm Randy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, he probably had like a rod through his whole body. Wait, so you're saying I don't look killer in this? It just reminded me of that guy, Billy, who's like an all-time funny survivor character. Right, so if you came in in a baseball hat, and I go, you look like Bartolo Cologne, because he wears a hat, but you picked the fattest, ugliest guy in the world.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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There's not enough ruckus happening. Ruckus? So what, he knocks all the plates off his table and starts yelling at a waiter?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I love it. Do you tell the waiter ahead of time, like, This isn't real. No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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What if you press the button and he goes rogue and like pants is the cook?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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What if he like just starts like going crazy? Or wait, that is the idea.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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What if he accidentally like hits your date with like a frying pan?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You can read as many pitches as you want, but if you go over the allotted two, if I hate it, I get to break one of the things on your desk.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Okay, no, it's just that I... And I have a little stubble today, and I was self-conscious about not shaving it, and you... All of my fears about how today was going to go are coming to life. That actually feels meaner than I... Because you picked a guy that looks like me on my worst day, and now I'm having body dysmorphia. He doesn't look like you at all.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I have one flaw, though. If I'm at your house high, the only thing that's going to happen is I'm going to come in The only change to your house is there's going to be a lot less snacks in your pantry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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T-maxing? T-U-O-O. It's like testosterone. You have a bunch of hair in your pits now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Remember when you read me the fucking riot act because I said I wouldn't want a bridesmaid at my... Whoa, that was a long time ago. I stand by that. I think that that... To tell your bridesmaid that she has to shave her armpits, that's crazy. I don't say you have to shave her. I'm saying, like, let's try and not make this all about you. How is that making it about her?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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That would be like if I was someone's groomsman and I was like, what? I wear bandanas. This is my thing. Can you just take it off for today?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Okay, I have dyed hairs. I have a crazy striped beard. Yeah. You'd be like, hey, man, get fucking rid of that thing. Striped beard? What does that mean? Pull up a hard rock neck, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Hard Rock Nick. If I had Hard Rock Nick. This is like OG Playdate.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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First of all, I still probably wouldn't say anything, but also it's not the same. I think it's a lot more common for people to have armpit hair. Okay, I have the first picture, Lauren. I have that beard. You'd be like, well, it's totally different. It's not totally different. That's his choice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It shows that it's not a valid. I'm saying if I had a hard rock next beard, you'd be like, hey, man, just for my day, could you maybe tone it down a little bit? Again, I think it's different. Maybe we take a two-guard to it. You can have some, but like... Who is Hard Rock Nick? Hard Rock Nick is a billionaire who... I think he does a lot of fucking. That's all he talks about.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Pull up a Hard Rock Nick video. I gotta go to the bathroom. Let's see what he has to say here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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No, I don't want to watch this. Lauren, click on the second one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Click on the second one. Close the tab. Click on the second one. Close the tab. This is an order. Click on the second one. Lauren, click on the second one. Why are you listening to him? Let's hear what he has to say. We have a two to one majority, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Okay, go to a different one. No, stop. See, we can't just be scrolling through. We're done.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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All right. What is the worst part about trying out a new look? People laugh. You laughed. I thought it was a joke thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You have to... What did I write down? What the fuck did I say? Flanders texted me, how is the bandana going over? Did she like it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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She thought it looks killer. Yeah. Um... You have to talk about it with every person that you see. So this is a memo that goes out to coworkers, friends, family. It says like, Rusty's trying out a new look today. Please keep the comments to a minimum. You don't want to talk about it? I want this to be a normal thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I like those memes where it's like, Jesse Pinkman will go... Have you seen Breaking Bad? A few of them. Jesse Pinkman will go through the most traumatizing experience wearing a shirt like this, and it's like Sonic with a skull. I had a big moment yesterday. Nice. I finally got stopped by one of those man on the street things. Yes. And I was so excited to tell him what song I was listening to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I want to be able to walk into work with one of my new bandanas on, and it would be the same thing as wearing a hat. where it's like maybe if they really like the bandana they can say cool bandana but they don't have to ask like why are you doing this why are you you're hurting all of us you're embarrassing all of us why are you wearing that i mean like joe does it all the time
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, and no one says anything. Because you got to earn it. That's what I'm saying. So this skips a step. This skips a step. I'm aware that I'm going to have to earn this, but I think after two times, it's like he's just wearing a bandana. Like when Lauren wears a bandana, no one talks about it. It's true. I mean, not to her face at least. My headbands? You wear a bandana sometimes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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My mom wears bandanas. Not like this, but you wear it up, not tucked in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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She wears it with, like, the knot in the front, like Rosie the Riveter. Oh, the girl that's like, we can do it, ladies. Yeah. What is she doing when she wears that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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This came from my partner in crime, Scott. But I decided I could steal it. My other partner in crime. Thank you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Is what we call them. As a Red Sox fan, that is what we called him on the playground.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So go buy one while you still can on almostfriday.shop in the Playdate Pod collection.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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There's something funny about like when you're watching someone else scroll on reels, like the sounds of it are like, what are they doing? Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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One time my dad texted us an episode where you didn't have your headphones on the whole time. And my dad was like, what if something went wrong? She wouldn't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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We unplugged them. We unplugged them, so they were definitely not recording. Unless they're wireless. I forgot. I have big news. Do you remember when I auditioned for Happy Gilmore 2? What? Yeah, I auditioned for The Busboy, which I did not get.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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it's the only thing i've auditioned for but they're letting me do a small part that is not the bus boy so i will be i will be in oh that's exciting uh i don't remember but it's like a it's like a like i'm like a patron that like heckles or something you got gilmore i'm not in the movie fucking idiot i think they already made it i don't know you got gilmore don't call me an effing idiot Why?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Like, stupid... I'm in the Croods, too. I was in the Croods. I was crude one time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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New Nickelodeon show, I Crude. Accrued. It's about a girl who's a crude... I've never seen it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I've been getting better about walking away from conversations. All right, Lauren, pause this immediately, and I mean immediately. This is a kid named Jagger riding a horse, and I think his aunt posted this and said that this is what his parents have to deal with every day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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comment he is a republican i would say i would say claimed probably yeah probably it's probably safe to assume he is a republican how adorable all right he rocks who do we have i still can't believe we were in a textbook yeah that's great very funny thanks a lot bye again griben well i could already tell this could be awesome i don't know this is a guy from a school i guess spring
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Guys, I'm so excited for team building lunch. Team. We haven't gotten it approved yet. I'll get it approved.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You're like, what? I didn't do anything funny at all. And I kind of regret it. I am actually worried about getting stopped by one of those people now. Yeah. Because a lot of people do it as like PR. Like for their company. Yeah. This was.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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All right. Black Sam was a British pirate in the early 1700s. So rewind before his pirate career. He's in love with this girl. Her parents don't approve because he's too poor. Okay. So his thinking is, I'm going to prove them wrong. I'm going to go out, become a pirate, make a fucking killing. I'll come back. I'll be rich. They will accept me. Right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So he goes out and in one year has like a pretty, pretty killer year. He captures 50 ships, makes like a fucking fortune and they're sailing back. He's going to go get his girl. Land is in sight. They can literally see like her house.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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uh rogue storm comes in fucking kills him and his entire crew the ship sinks um and then fast forward uh 280 years in 1980 this guy barry clifford goes down and uh and recovers some of the treasure it's the only i think it's the only like recovered pirate treasure of all time really but isn't that interesting he lost his life because of uh disapproving parents
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, I forgot Will has a trust fund and probably sympathizes with the parents. Because you don't want to like spoil the bloodline with like a bunch of porers. I don't buy that piracy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Look at who you're talking to right now and tell me that I'm going to side with. I'm going to side with. I'm not expecting you on my side. All right. Wait, Will, so what you're saying is he should have just, what, he should have just like continued being like a laborer, making no money and settled for some like girl that he doesn't love?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You fucking, you rich people make me sick to my fucking stomach. He should have. He should have. Pulled himself up by his bootstraps. Well, probably, right? Yes. Impossible.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ever taken a physics class? You ever tried to pull yourself up by your bootstraps? Horribly inefficient way to stand up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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storm apologist if i was me you probably you probably that's like uh me i simply would not have got caught in that storm right is that crazy though you could see you could see land yeah how does that can't yeah storms are ass maybe like a typhoon or something is that a thing yeah i think it's just what they call a hurricane in like southeast asia well no it's like a water spout thing typhoon
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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no i'm saying like a lot of people will plan to get stopped to like promote themselves got it got it and i feel like because we are already on the internet people would assume that we like staged it and then if you didn't knock it out of the park with like a funny joke or something they would be like you did you did all of this for that yeah yeah i guess that's true i i'm uh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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B-2 stealth bombers, the airplanes. For some reason, I thought we were still in the pitch segment. I was like, I have bad news for you. They have retractable cup holders and a microwave and a toilet. Because guys are up there on missions for like 22 hours.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So one guy flies it and then the other guy goes and sleeps and makes a meal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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B-2 stealth bomber. Nope. B-52 Sprock Lobster. Google that. the idea that there's a microwave in that is hysterical to me yeah where do they piss bathroom yeah the toilet i love it imagine a billion dollar toilet billion dollar toilet uh one dollar oh billion dollar billion dollar toilet sends your poop wherever you want send it to your you can poop anything where would you where would you send it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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god forbid i'm a hero you can poop literally anything dude with a billion dollar toilet you can poop literally anything if you only ate corn would it just come out cooked or would it come out just corn or would there be poop in it it'd be cooked it'd be like a corn squash salad type thing Corn squash salad. Corn bouillabaisse.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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All right, should we do... Willie, do you want to start with Discovery Channel shows that don't exist or party tricks that don't exist first? Disco shows. Tee it up for me, buddy. Yeah, you got to do it. These are Discovery Channel shows that don't exist. Alligator Riders. Six men attempt the never-before-done feat of riding, mounting an alligator, and controlling it around the swamp.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It's highly dangerous. Most of them die. But in the end, one of them might get the reins and finally do the impossible. And let me tell you, it is must-see TV. It's must-see TV. You ever seen that Charles Barkley ad? They're trying to get him to do a promo for the Suns are playing the Hornets. And they go like, all right, tee it up for us, Charles. And he goes, I got two words for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Chris Paul, Steve Nash, must-see TV. And they're like, that was way more than two words. He goes, all right, Paul and Nash. And they're like, that's three. That's funny. All right, I got underage overpaid. It follows high school kids with fake IDs who are reselling beer to fellow minors. Wow, I like that. Naked and comfortable.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, let's strip it down to its parts. We're not there for the nature aspect. We're there to see some crotch, man.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Alright, I got Squirrel King. Every season they pick the two biggest squirrels in the tribe and they breed them until the byproduct of it is a squirrel that is four times the normal size and is... Oh, and it rules over the other Skrulls with an iron fist. Got it. Skrull King. Love that. Migration.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Four men and women start in Canada, and they're each assigned a bird that's about to migrate south for the winter. And the goal of the game is to be able to follow your bird for as long as you can through its path of migration. If you lose your bird, you're out. The last person still following their bird wins. I love it. Like one guy made it to Mexico one year.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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i love it i got high flying it follows uh marijuana traffickers who are getting a little high on their own supply and uh we just get to see them try and land the plane stoned out of their gourd and uh stuff like that that sounds really fun oh the element of surprise six doctors have one month to discover a new element All hands on deck by any means necessary.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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The winner takes home a signed copy of the periodic table from Isaac Newton.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
i love it all right i got naked and hot it is similar to naked and afraid but this time they are all smoke shows and so they like immediately when they see each other they all want to bang and kind of like forget about the survival aspect of it that's all let me tell you staying warm is not going to be a problem come on because of the body i was going to say because they're inside of each other bird nightmare
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Because you were saying, don't you sometimes struggle with your mental health
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
yeah i'm happy i think i'm like well she doesn't struggle with it she's just like from time to time you like correct me if i'm wrong from time to time you just don't want to be around anymore no i think i'm like i think i'm like 77 happy that is that's pretty good pretty good yeah i think this has been a good year yeah it's been a good year for you yeah i feel happier than i have in a while yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
All right, I got best rig on the rig. The hottest men and women from every oil rig in the Gulf get together for a bodybuilding competition. And we figure out who has the best rig on the rig. That is good. And let me tell you, they are oiled up to the max. Isn't there an oil spill in season two?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Yeah, well, you're getting peach cobbler. Yeah. And they're all like, oh, yes! Oh! Oh, yeah, and that's, is that not enough? How about cookies?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I like when they haven't drank or eaten anything but rice and coconut water. And then Jeff's like, margarita and burger. And they're like... Yeah, he knows he has them. He gets off on them. They drink it. They get hammered after one drink. There have been many times where they overeat. It can be a disadvantage. There's also a guy in one season in Guatemala, I think it is, Judd.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Yeah, it was... I've heard it. I've never looked into it. They say if it wasn't Derek Jeter...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Very rarely. No one's ever done it, according to Jeff. I think Boston Rob and her did. I saw an interview with Jeff where he was like, I don't think anyone has. If they have, they've completely avoided the cameras. All right, Willie. But they've done hand stuff for sure. Yes. All right. All right. These are party tricks that don't exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Grab someone's beer, open it with your butt, fart the cap, and seal someone else's beer. That's good. Braiding your hair with no hands. It's all just with your scalp. Oh, I love that. It's like when someone ties a cherry thing with their tongue. Yeah, it's sort of the next evolution. Lauren, listen. I worked hard on these.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Yeah. And they ask you what you're listening to. Are you lying? Are you telling them you're listening? Because you only get one shot at this. Lying. I've thought about this before.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
All right. You Wu-Tang the joint, grab the new one, fire breathe it out, and light the second one. Wait. Wu-Tang is like you swallow it? Wu-Tang is when you inhale the joint and swallow it. Got it. And then you... There's so much heat and you light the next one. Everyone's like... That's sick. Dance moves so fast nobody can see it, but it shows up in pictures. All right. You add a kegger.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
You keg toss the keg into someone else's lawn and move the party to your neighbor's house without asking. Love that. Consuming a beer can first. All right. You make a s'more and then you fire breathe vodka on it and toast it into melty perfection. Love that. Talking about pioneers and conquistadors and shit until all the girls leave.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
You grind all the weeds, throw it up in the air, catch it all with the cone. Spark it up. Love that. Backwards vaping. It makes the vape nauseous.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
that's fantastic trail off at the end there maybe a little yeah all right who's ready for rusty's song of the week um what is the song of the day or song of the week song of the day it's twice a week i i had it was but it's the it's the playlist is your songs of the week Well, it's twice a week because it's every episode I add a new song. All right. This week, I got No Other Heart by Mac DeMarco.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Good song. One of my jams. It's one of the few that I think stays in my rotation throughout the years. It makes me happy, and I hope you like it. I like that one. By the time you listen to this... All right. We also have to guess how many saves the playlist is going to have when each person looks. I'm going to say by the time this one is added, it's going to have 2,142 saves. Wow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
comment i love who do you think who do you think old school earth went on fire i don't know who do you think is like the the what who do you think's the hunk of this podcast lauren are you me i'm the bad boy hunk of this podcast lauren's the bell of the ball i think i'm the hunk and i'm the well i'm not a hunk but like you want to be a hunk no have you ever seen the dany show the hunk no that's great it's good yeah you've seen who's tallest canada what's
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Yes. Yep. I used to cue all the songs if I was going to pick up, if I was picking up people. Yeah. I would cue up all the songs beforehand at my house. So it looked like I just had a fucking killer playlist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Actually, no. The host of The Hunk is... Have you watched the rehearsal yet? Yeah, I watched the first episode. I'm going to watch it tonight. That's all that's come out. It's every Sunday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Comment a saying that doesn't exist. I came up with three bangers on the way...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
It's literally a chessboard. My chessboard? Did you break it? Yeah. My Lego chessboard? It's so broken. No, it just knocked some of the pieces over. Chill the fuck out. What do you mean, chill the fuck out? If I knocked over your Chewbacca Lego, you would fucking cry. I actually think you wouldn't talk to me for a month if I broke your Chewbacca Lego. It didn't break. But it could have.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I hope she's not listening to this. I want to get in more fights with a girlfriend. No. I think that's so... No. Think about how... You ever see a couple screaming at each other at the bar?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
All of our passion is about how much we like each other. I want everyone to... I want her to hit me and yell at me. Care about what you wish for. Isn't that kind of hot?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Would you date me if we were gay? I'd go on a date. I said I would be shocked before Flan.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Throw forks and knives, but you dodge them and they go in the wall. And then we embrace and we kiss.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
everything oh i mean ty are gonna go out i actually could you know you have those friends that are too nice right i could not picture that guy having sex yeah i'm gonna have sex with him in coachella oh what stagecoach
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
We had a friend that this guy told us one time that she fucks like a man.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
He said that she fucked him, not the other way around. Can we end the podcast?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Go find... All right, let's go get lunch. We love you guys. We're going to go get lunch. Take it easy. Okay, bye.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
so i think just in general like if i think a song is cringy i'm sorry even if i like it i convince myself i don't like it which is really weird that's very weird no but i get where you're coming from it's kind of like uh i used to not let myself listen to happy music if i was like doing bad yeah like on the way home from school if i like did not have a good day even if i wanted to listen to happy music i would listen to sad music because i felt like i didn't deserve it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Because you feel like you didn't deserve it. I'll be like, I didn't have a great showing in class today. I've always thought about that if I got stopped, I would... I used to have a song that I'd be like, I'm going to say this song because it was... You have your headphone out and they can hear it. That's what I was always worried about.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Suck it, Derek Jeter. Two guys on a podcast are calling you dumb for your billion-dollar helicopter. What would a billion-dollar helicopter have for features? Lauren, go. Four wings. Four wings. That's a plan.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I just thought of a great idea. Yeah. You said the song's called Her Eyes? Yeah, so guys, since I didn't get stopped by that guy, go listen to Her Eyes by Rain Paul Holmberg. Here's a song that doesn't exist. Yeah. Horizon, and it's about a dad, they have a daughter, and then his wife dies, and he says, I see her eyes in you. Horizon. I like that. Or it's like, I see her eyes in the horizon.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
That's better. um because i guess i came up with the word play but i didn't i didn't factor in the horizon aspect of it i mean it could be uh second thing you know i recommended wendy by sid simons the other day yes it's on rusty song of the day which has a thousand saves now i put it on this the story that's why okay uh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
For some reason, every save on that, I get the same amount of dopamine that a video... Like a million views. Literally like a video that we post on TikTok getting a million views. I get the same. I agree with that, yeah. But I found Sid Simons from one of those... This guy goes around and he waits until he finds someone who does music. Have you seen that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Do you do music? And you're like, no. And you just went and found this guy. And then Sid Simons said he liked Elliot Smith. I like Elliot Smith. He said he liked Sparkle Horse. I didn't know Sparkle Horse, but I looked it up. I liked it. I was like, okay, I trust this guy's taste. Went back to the video. They play his song at the end. I liked his song. I guess it was kind of a backward.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I should have just watched the video. But the moral of the story is Sid Simons is fantastic. Sold.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
And I was like, whoa, that is. Is it viral? I don't know. But like, what a nightmare. Why are you with her? She's probably got really good stories. If my girlfriend slept with Will, I would. I would. What would you do? I would never let that happen. I would make your first birthday look like a fucking walk in the park. I would make that... They would wipe that event out of the history books.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
You'd also do it on my birthday, too, I guess. No, no, no. I'd do it on 9-12. No, I'd do it on 9-10 to steal all... People would still be recovering from mourning the thing that I did. Yeah. No, I wouldn't do anything. I'd probably just be very sad. I don't think we really need to... It's not my real one. I'm saying a hypothetical situation where it's a different girlfriend. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
In a hypothetical world, if she banged your brains out. Jesus Christ. What? If she was like spinning around. I don't feel comfortable being part of this conversation. She was like spinning around in the room and you were like playing the guitar and she was dancing to it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I would take your guitar and I would smash it into a million pieces and then I would rebuild it into an evil guitar that anyone who plays it is cursed for the rest of their life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Oh, that felt so good to get off my chest. I've been holding that in. Oh. also who is r what google account are you uh andrew made some andrew made a new youtube so we don't have ads anymore nice andrew that's oh oh oh he like bought the he bought a youtube account i thought he bought like an ad blocker uh no i don't think he bought an ad blocker i think he got a youtube account
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
i don't know man very cool very cool so what else is going on um i think i wrote something down you go now well i just um i just want to say thank you to lauren i was trying out and trying out a new look today and lauren came in and i go i buckled in i go here we go gonna have to have the second conversation about it today and lauren didn't say anything
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Edge walked by me and goes, what's up with the bandana? And I said, I said, I'm trying out a new look. My thought process is if I can... I'm aware that on the first day, I'm going to have to have, like, 20 to 30 conversations about, like, you're wearing a bandana. But if I can get them over that hump, then I'm a bandana guy. I ordered a 30-pack last night. I'm pretty excited about this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
It was, like, 11 bucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently, in my head, 30 bandanas, you'd have to take out a mortgage. Apparently, they are pretty cheap. Yeah. But I got a navy one that I'm pretty excited about. I got a green. I got every color, but pretty excited about the navy one and that dark green one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I was having a couple beers yesterday. Long story short, I did a thing with an opportunity presented itself to do a video for them. They came out with a collab beer. So I opened up the beer and there was a bandana in it. And I was like, I'm not going to wear that fucking bandana. After a couple of IPAs, let me tell you, started to look pretty cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Put it on, had some time to wear it around the house alone. My roommates came home. They all said it looked killer. And I think it's my thing now. That's pretty cool. I like it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I don't even think I was there, but I remember that he was here. I met him. And then I met him in Philly when we were there a few weeks ago.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Or a few months ago. Their brother is an NFL quarterback. Then Shane.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Egg dish. Egg dish. There's going to be frittata everywhere. The walls are made of frittata.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
You were like, and. And their dad coached at Oceanside. Oh, did he coach Sam Hartman? Yeah. No big deal. Sam and I are kind of boys. He commented on my Instagram yesterday. Did he really? Yeah, he commented, I'm listening. There we go. All right, we should listen to Lauren. I think we cut her off telling him about our stories.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Was hast du gesagt? Dieses Sommer? Dein erstes Freundesabend?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Warum sah es so aus, als ob wir nicht auf dem Bild waren?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Wollen wir wieder anfangen? Was zur Hölle?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Es klingt, als würde ich meinen Mund kontrollieren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Das hat mir so viel geholfen. Es ist so toll.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Someone's like hacking the computer and the screen recording keeps stopping.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Andrew's like hacking the computer to send himself something from this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Yeah, we noticed. Yeah, tell him to pull up something weird.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich liebe die Prämisse, dass das ein Weg ist, jemanden jetzt aufzunehmen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Where would you put it when you collapse it? Nur meine Tasche.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Oh, ein Studium vom Orange County Register fand heraus, dass Wasserverbraucher 97% der Zeit... 97%, du hast ihn, oder?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Wenn ich zuerst diese Headline gelesen habe, oder wenn jemand sie in einem unserer Slack-Kanäle gelesen hat, dachte ich, dass es ein Ole Miss-Student war, der sich mit ihrem Vater befasst hat. Das ist jeden Tag in Ole Miss.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
That show is really good. I've watched it. Have you guys watched this yet? It's so funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Du hast recht, er ist drin. Ist er ein Hauptcharakter?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Willi, do you want to get the permanent division?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Alright, first pitch is from Lou Gillette.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
What is the worst part about meeting your mates at sporting events or live music shows?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Oh, okay. You spend ages on the phone to them trying to find them, only for them to finally wave you down after a few excruciatingly anxious seconds of searching. Introducing the Crowdfinder app. Wow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Oh, no, no. Yeah. But yeah, this would be great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Yeah. She sounded like she was in pain.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Bringt euch alle, Bitches. Alex sagt... Was ist das Schlimmste am Essen von Snacks oder Appetizieren mit einer Gruppe von Leuten?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Wie viele Leute... Wie viele Pitches entscheidest du?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Schmutzig? Wenn du sie waschst und deine Komponistin zurücknehmen musst.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Nur zwei der zwölf Spieler waren wirklich enttäuscht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Welche Persönlichkeit stehlen Sie dieses Wochenende? Okay, ich weiß. Ich stehle Tate McCrae's Persönlichkeit, weil ich mit ihrem neuen Album besessen bin. Und sie ist auch die heißeste Person. Und ich liebe sie.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Schön. Chester, welche Persönlichkeit wirst du stehlen?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Sind das Twins oder Triplets? Twins. PWH. Ich weiß nicht, ob es noch einen gibt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I don't know. I don't know how phones work either.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
One of the best sandwiches I've ever had. Actually, that's kind of a stretch. There's this place called Cheesies in, I don't think it's even open anymore, in Evanston, Illinois, like 10 minutes from where I grew up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Yep, that is right. And they did like, yeah, it's so pretty.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
They did these like mac and cheese sandwiches.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Just look how yummy this grilled cheese looks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
And they had like all different kinds. Oh my gosh. And the sauce was so good. If you're from Chicago and you know what I'm talking about.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Das ist lustig, du bringst es einfach in die Büchern. Ich habe gerade YouTube-Komponente gesehen. Letzte Nacht von Moments, die Charaktere gebrochen haben.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Not gonna lie, I was really excited about that story and then you said Xbox and I kind of stopped caring.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
No, I just... Trying to drive engagement.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
That show is just so heartwarming.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
He was just trying to say something funny. What? I wasn't trying to say something funny. I do, I don't tip a lot. I also don't Uber eat something. I rarely do, so I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Wenn Jim Dwight's Exercise Ball brach. Habt ihr das noch nicht gesehen?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Und es sollte nicht so poppen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Oh, ich glaube nicht, dass er es hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Oh, nur Texte von Leuten? Du, 100%. Ich würde Adderall nehmen, um für meine Finale zu studieren oder so.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Yeah, I just watched Rusty's Flying a Plane. How cool episode. Go watch that if you haven't. And I loved it. It was amazing. But I kind of wanted more out of your guys' sex scene at the end.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Okay, you know what we need to do now so we don't forget? Episode 76. Episode 76.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Oh, ja, ich... Nein, sie haben den Tag verglichen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
No, no, no, I'm not. You're squat shaming him? No, no, no, I'm not making fun. I was just like, that's on the trainer for not helping you with your form. That's like the most important thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
No, I'm never telling a story again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
No, I'm not serious. I don't actually care. I just am like, damn. I do want to get better at storytelling, because sometimes I just get nervous when I start talking too long, and then I black out, and I'm like, I don't even fucking care about this anymore, you know?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
I don't remember, which is actually good. No, no, like I don't remember the last time. I was just listening to a podcast on this podcast I really like. It's called The Psychology of Your Twenties. And I was just listening to one called The Psychology of Alcohol. And she was just kind of talking all about like what blacking out is in your brain.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
And like I've heard it before and I understand what it is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
It's basically like your brain... What is it called? The... Frontal lobe? No, it's the little guy, hippocampus. Hippocampus? Yes, okay, so basically the hippocampus gets... It's like so much alcohol in your body. I don't know, it starts to affect that and then that's why you can't remember things. And then it just, I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Because... Well, I very much applaud you for not drinking.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
What do you listen to when you run?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Ich bin bei Whole Foods, habe ein paar Geräte gekauft und ich bin so, weißt du was, ich werde eine Blase Wein kaufen und dann komme ich nach Hause und ich rühre mir eine Blase Wein und ich bin so, ich will das nicht wirklich. Ich fühle mich so, als würde ich so viel vorwärts schauen, um eine Blase Wein zu haben oder einfach, ich weiß nicht. Nicht, dass ich Leute beurteile, die das tun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Es ist einfach interessant. Es fühlt sich an, als würdest du Leute beurteilen, die das tun. Nein, überhaupt nicht. Nur für mich persönlich.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Nein, nein, nein. Nur für mich.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Ich denke auch, dass es mehr Bier ist als Wein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
That's insane. I feel like that's like a piece of evidence that you can't even keep in a home.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Hey, what are you doing on Friday?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
There's this really cool comedy show on Saturday. Do you want to go? Okay. Maybe we can do something next week. Are you free at all Wednesday or Thursday? I wouldn't triple text, but.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
I told you I'm not proud of it. You just straight up won't respond to a request for a plan?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Hey, I hope you've had a good week. I was wondering if you were around on Friday?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Hope that helps. What would you actually say?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Hey, I had a lot of fun on Saturday. What are you doing next weekend?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
You would go on for that long?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Hey, I had so much fun at the farmer's market. Do you want to... That's like a more intimate... Hey, I had so much fun at church with you. My mom loved you. Do you want to hang out next weekend? Ready?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Blame it on the mental health.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Hey, oh, that sounds super fun. I don't think I can, but... Or no, no, no, I'd say, hey, that sounds super fun. I don't think I'm around that night, but maybe we can do something in the future. Like, okay, personally, I'm so bad at competition.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Sie ist nicht so witzig. Sie ist nicht so witzig.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
No, let's ease into it. You've got to do it today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Yeah, it's not that crazy. He called me. He goes, he texts me on Friday night or whenever this was.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
First pitch is from TheRealRyanSindag. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
I don't know. The sweet scents and sounds. Yeah. What? Their babies are so cute. Mind you, you don't want to keep this baby. In fact, the second it cries or shits, you're ready to give it right back. You don't need that added responsibility. That is where Rent-A-Baby comes in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Me and Troy thought he sent a picture of like his dick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
It is a calming center filled with blushing babes that you can play with and holding snuggle for a set amount of time before returning them to their parents to deal with the messy stuff. Center could also double as a daycare, so you've got money coming in from the parents of the babies and those poor saps who need some cuddles. Think about it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
You guys are both saying crazy things.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
No, I would be like... What's up, shawty?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Annual Percentage Raise. Can you google that? No, I'm just smart.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
That's pretty sick. All right. Well, let's at some point. All right. Thank you. The real Ryan Zendag. I think that's great. Wow. Great. What kind of baby would you guys want?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Yeah. Little Asian babies are so cute. Or like a little ginger baby with really red hair.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
32 Pound Infant. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Anyway, thank you. The next, next, next pitch. This is from Sam Spotts. Sam Spotts sagt, was ist los, Lauren und die Playboys? Willst du jemals in die Lesung kommen, aber denkst dir, wow, lesen ist furchtbar? Ja. I love this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
So are you not interested in your book?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Jack, you should get Goodreads.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
It is an app where you can log what you're reading. Review books you've read, put things you want to read. It honestly is a great incentive for me to just finish my book and stay on track with how my other friends are doing. Oh, cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Aber ich finde es schwierig, wenn die Lyrics von den Worten enttäuscht sind.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Das war das lustigste, was ich je gehört habe. Oh, das ist furchtbar. Also wird das in der Videobeschreibung sein?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
So that's a bad smoothie then.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Guys, I don't know if you were kidding or not, but people liked my yogurt question.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
She never said anything to me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
that those are actually not allowed and it needs to be reclassified to the other fence to gate or opposite, depending on what she says. It should be really argumentative and also bring up that she got a ticket for driving around speed bumps in the neighborhood a few years ago. Yeah, she has a history of... And then he says the city we live in is called Rollingwood. Rollingwood?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
When you guys were gone, I wanted to prank you and say that Chobani reached out to me and wanted to send me the biggest yogurt, but I got nervous.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
When this episode comes out, we're roommates.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Well, that was the prank call segment.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Roommates. And they were roommates. And they were roommates. Oh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
I actually don't know what his name is. Eric, but it's spelled A-R-I-C.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
I thought this was going to be about a hermit crab.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Yeah, it's his son, her son's doing. It's her son's fault. I know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
There was a Holocaust museum near my home in Chicago that we went to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
It was obviously horrible, but very fascinating.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Can we talk about the fact that they're watching a Damon Sal... I don't know if you guys know Vampire Diaries. They're watching a Damon Salvatore best of compilation in the background. Oh, that's awesome. I don't know what that is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Sorry. Actually, go up one, Lauren, because part two is when they actually do it. Is that mean to say?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
He's not allowed to have his arm up like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Yeah, now I'm actually uncomfortable.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
I mean, we're doing this guy rocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Wir sind wie eine Gesellschaft, die sich regressiert. Ja, wir sind regressiert. Sorry, wenn du ein neuer Hörer bist. Sorry, wenn du ein hot Astronaut bist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Well, I didn't know you had this Instagram.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
If this is someone's first impression of you, they're not going to like you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
He's not normally like... sometimes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
No, I'm very impressed with these. Keep going.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Yeah, someone said we were soft for not liking the... Oh, maybe they're going to like this then.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Habt ihr meinen Text von heute gesehen?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Whose personality am I stealing? I'm stealing... Somebody else go first.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
I'm rooting for the Eagles, but I'm betting on the Chiefs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
He's drooling. Das ist furchtbar. Okay, Rusty, welche Persönlichkeit stehst du? Eww, ihr seid furchtbar.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
I'm gonna steal the multiple choice freshman's personality.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Nein, ich will nicht mehr sagen, was ich sagen wollte.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Oh, guess what? I got rosemary sourdough bread from Whole Foods and I'm gonna make a yumalicious peanut butter and jelly after this. Okay. Tick tock. I don't even care about anything I say.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
You owe me some. Yeah, it's really good. Wait. Is it this? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Obviously I'm so grateful for our Playdate fans, but my follower population is all guys now. I don't know. No, it's not. I want a female audience as a female. And it's just all guys now. Maybe lean into it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
No, I don't know anything about sports.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Girls only. Ich glaube, wir sind auf einem seltsamen Start.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
I want to look at a picture of this because I'm so hungry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
So I just recently got into ham, like a few years ago.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Oh, and that bread too. That wasn't the bread we had though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Yes. What do you feel? You feel windy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Windy is what people from the Midwest call gassy. Yeah, come on. Guys, Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. Let me tell you what it's all about. You're probably wondering when you're sipping on tea, this tastes like real tea. It's because it is. It's made with real brewed tea. You know that? I did know that. It's got a kick, though. 5% ABV. Come on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Full of flavor. Come on. Very refreshing. Goes down smooth. No carbonation, so you can be sipping on it all day long.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Twisted Tea is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time forever. A great time. Guys, we are going to the Bahamas this weekend. Come on. Could you think of a better place to crack open a nice cold twisted tea? Especially the peach flavor. That feels Bahamas. And that feels Bahamas. And I'm going to tell you this. That feels Bahamas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Guys, if you're looking to have just a chill-ass time or turn it up a notch, grab a refreshing twisted tea today. Personally, I like the half-and-half. Willie's more of a peach guy. I'm a cobbler. So go to your local liquor store, your local grocery store, wherever you get them, pick up a pack of twisted tea and tell them Will and Rusty sent you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
If someone sends us a video of you telling the cashier that Will and Rusty sent you to get your twisted tea, I'll Venmo you the price of the twisted tea. Wow. But it can only be like one or two packs. Don't buy like a pallet. Let's get back into the episode. I took a pottery class in high school, but we called it ceramics. And it was.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
It's not like a pot. This is like the painting. What? This isn't like making pottery.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Oh, oh, oh. Color Me Mine is you don't make the pottery. I don't think.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
What if he works at Color Me Mine? What the hell?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I like that. I don't want to make it. I want to paint it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
What was that? It's a new character. I'm sorry. You were in ceramics. Checking in for my flight. Checking in for my flight. Wait, now I have to do that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
So I gave him my thing and he like fucked around with it for a little bit. And then he was like, all right, I turned it off. The beeping stopped. But when I turn it back on, the beeping starts again. I was like, yeah, we need to... Yeah, that's why you're here. That's why you're here. We need to, like, fix it. I know that if it's off, it's not going to beep. And then he came.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Now, tell us about your freshman year of college. You were, like, doing pottery with a pimp or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
One day, let's all get mudslides. I want to hear about your guys' creamy mudslides. That's disgusting. All right, you were in ceramics class. In ceramic...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Wait, what? Bring it in my checked bag home. Fucking all my clothes are covered in Bahama mama.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I was in ceramics class. This was not worth this. This was not worth this. It's not even going to be interesting anymore. But what was funny about this class was at our high school... you were usually in classes with kids in your grade as most high schools are.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Cause it's like, whatever. But the electives were like a fuck fest cause it was, or free, free for all, free for all. Fuck fest. Sorry. The electives were a fuck fest because like some kids needed what he's checking in for his flight. He did it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I was defending you. Because we're not texting hot guys and asking for ab pics.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Do you ever ask a guy for ab pics?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I think we should just move on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
No, but I want to hear that story. I'm going to remember the ceramics. We can always come back to the ceramics.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
You got to get through it. Okay. There were, like, kids of all ages in this class because it was, like, an elective, whatever. Yeah. And the coolest kid in our high school was in it. Okay. And he didn't have any of his buddies in it, so he was just hanging out with, like, the cool kids from each grade. Got it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And so the squad, his, like, ragtag group of kids was, like, the coolest 13-year-old through, like, the coolest 18-year-old. They would just make bongs. And then when they tried to put them in the kiln, the woman would just be like, No, we're not. I'm absolutely not making this for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Dude, Pinton, you got it. My brain is so cooked. Yesterday, there was like 20 minutes where I was just Googling made up combinations of made up words that were making me laugh. I was like, how close can I get to Googling something that looks like it would be something you could Google but isn't actually meaning anything? Yeah, that rocks. Let's try one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
He was out there for another, like, 30 minutes just, like, making noises that, like, a screwdriver shouldn't be able to. Like, there should never be, like, clanging. Like, a screwdriver is just, like. Pew, pew, pew. Meow. A screwdriver is the most silent tool of all. Yeah. And there was like metal bang or whatever. And then he came out and was just like, all right, I think it's fine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
It was like, yeah, like Frantilated Grold or something. What? Should I Google it? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Grold. Grold. In what? The Frandelli? Why is it purple? Who's been on the Frandelli group before?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Lauren, what were you going to say? Freshman year?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
She invited me and then I fell asleep.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
What's the difference between lurking behind you and just being another patron at the bar behind you?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
In his defense, how would he find out if you wanted a naughty pick or not?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Yeah, I don't know what that is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
You'd be like, hmm. When Snapchat first. At least you offered multiple too. You could have been like. Yeah, one or two. One or two.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
no i think he's just a freak yeah i mean he was at bungalow alone it's just lord i ever tell you my bungalow story no so uh i had met and was like kind of i'm still kind of friends with uh an nba basketball player no big deal mo wagner ever heard of him heard of the orlando magic and his brother i believe it's pronounced wagner wagner yep
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And so this is when we were living in Venice, I believe, and Mo texted me and was like, hey, we got a table at the Bungalow if you want to come through or whatever. We get there. Duncan Robinson, another NBA guy, has the table next to it. Oh, nice. So we merged tables. I think I'm the only guy under 6'9". Killer vibes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
But if it's not, give me another call. And then just left. And I was like, was it fine? It is. To my knowledge, it's fine. But what would have happened if I wasn't... The odds of me being home... Yeah. Usually they come in and just fix it like... Yeah, if you weren't home, he wouldn't have had any tools. He wouldn't have had any tools. You can't be relying on the homeowner for tools.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I think Max Barrett was with me or Sam Barrett. He's pretty tall too. Max Barrett is pretty tall as well. And he's like, dude, my little brother Franz is coming. He had just gotten drafted by the Magic. Went to Michigan, right? Went to Michigan. Or Mo did. I don't know if Franz did. Oh, sorry. But... He's like, you know, this big, big prospect, whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I'm a little nervous because I know Mo likes me, but I'm like, I got to make a good impression on his brother. His brother shows up. The Travis Scott Jordans had just come out. Okay. Or whatever rendition. They were like hot. I just saw him. Yeah. And he walks in. We had ordered a tray of margaritas. There's like 30 margaritas on this one tray. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And right as the waitress is putting them down, Franz got there, and I stood up to shake his hand, and I knocked the entire tray of margaritas. All of us came out unscathed except for him from his knees down to his shoes. So I just soaked his new $2,000 shoes. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And he was like, not a big deal at all. Just popped them off, and we just chilled.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
He didn't have shoes on for the rest of the day. Cool-ass guy. That's unreal. I think it's easy to be that cool when you, like... Like, I think he got, like, multiple, multiple millions of dollars, like, that week. Yeah, he also probably got sent the shoes, right? Totally. And he probably has many more. He's sponsored by Nike or whatever. Yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
He got those... He got those... The Nike Margaritaville... Come on. Come on. He got the... Wait. He got the tequila mockingbirds. Yeah, the Jordan...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
We will be at sea. We'll be in the middle of the Bahamas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Jesus Christ. I would hate to be at the bottom of the ocean. That would be like if I was like, oh, you have a flight tomorrow?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I think we'll be safe. What did you say? As long as the pilot and the co-pilot have a proper dialogue. Did you just watch the rehearsal?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
What does that mean? Party on you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
But what does that mean? Party? Is it like a sex thing? No. No. Willie, could you do me a favor? Hell no. I'm sitting at a club. I'm minding my business. You have a sudden urge to party on me. Show me what that would look like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
i don't feel partied on at all this is it so uh i had to get my car towed again this morning and i'm putting my foot down i'm putting my foot down once it's fixed i'm done i'm never getting another jeep again is that the move to fix it and then sell it I think I'm going to fix it just good enough that whoever I sell it to, it breaks down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Everything that's happened to me over the last two years happens to them. Do you guys have any wrecks for cars? I want to get something pimp. Pink? Pimp. I don't know. Why would I have a wreck? I might get a car, though, in September. Have you seen that Jason Bateman commercial for Allstate? The best low rates you can get online, go to Allstate.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I don't know, but he plays, instead of Batman, it's basically like having cut rate insurance is the same as having Bateman instead of Batman. And he's on a scooter and he goes, easy Batemobile, not too fast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
That's funny. Should we roadmap it up, guys?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I know. I thought about it. I...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Yeah, but then I'm just back to where I am now where there's constantly something wrong. I need to get a new car, unfortunately. Mini Cooper.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
no fiat 500 i wanted a mini cooper when i moved out here my dad was like absolutely that was my dream car when i was little well i scott i've been talking about like if we got a mini cooper we could probably park it at our house like the spot that jerry uses right now we have one parking spot that our roommate jerry is it like behind the fence or do you go in the garage Behind that fence.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
But it's big enough that if we had a small enough car and he pulled all the way in, we could fit a smart car or a Fiat in there. Or like a Mini Cooper.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Dude, get a Fiat. Those are fucking baller. Are you going to drift it? I don't know what we're going to do.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
That is a risky thing to add to your friendship.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I don't think. It's like getting a dog with a girlfriend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Let's say Scott crashes it, then your insurance goes up. Yeah. And he pays that. Actually, I don't think that's how that works.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
No, because if you're driving... Because you gave him permission to drive it. He's driving in your name. Is that how that works? I think so.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I thought that if you're driving someone else's car and you got in an accident, it's covered by your... Oh, so both of you would have to have insurance. Yeah, I guess then you're right. I don't know. You'd have to get two policies on the same. The car... Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes... It is the car, yeah. Unless... Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I mean, whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Professional limbo-er in crisis. I just feel like I'm in this weird limbo where the lower I go, the more balance I get, but the louder the crowd cheers. Lauren, how are you doing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
We would... I mean, if it was... Yeah, I guess my insurance would take a hit, but then he would just pay for it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Willie, guess what I just saw on my phone? What? You, sir, are probably flying first class tomorrow. Why? Dawn slash W is the last seat on the last available seat on the first class upgrade list. Oh, really? You might be flying in style. Granted, more people are going to check in, but let's hope it stays that way, brother.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Sometimes I like to be humble. I don't think there's anything braggadocious about getting upgraded. You pay for it. But I get a big head sometimes when I'm up there, and I start acting different.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I also, I brought some of the pistachios that they only have in first class back. And I said, look, yummy, yummy, yummy. And I pissed on him and shitted out of my butt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
One time Will and I were flying first class, and they made the announcement that there was someone in the main cabin that had a peanut allergy, and Will quickly got off the plane, went and bought peanuts, came back, crushed them, and shoved them down the kids' throat, and he died. And I shitted out my butt. I was telling Lauren this yesterday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I wish that there were front farts to let you know you have to pee.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
wait you weren't oh yeah you yeah like yes finally someone say it why would you want that i just think it'd be like like how good that would feel but you can't tell you just have to pee on its own not until it's like the lat like the moment before it's all i think about all the time all right should we road map it up playboys yeah road map wait wasn't there something i was gonna tell you guys i think there was something
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Episode 110. Oh, sorry. Play date. Play date. Episode 110.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
It's got to be Babe Ruth. No. Yogi Berra. Nope. Albert Pujols. Nope. Barry Bonds.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Is that it? No, that was... What is it? Sammy Sosa.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Team. Mickey Mantle. Cardinals. And it wasn't Albert Pujols?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I don't know. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. I was just saying I'm tapping out. I don't know any 1999 Cardinals players. I don't know if I do either. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Nice, Lauren. Wow. What a pull.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Yes. Not the Rizzler one either. Well, I did now. I do now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Can I pee and then do the road map?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Playdate is brought to you by True Classic. Guys, True Classic is the best. I have been wearing these clothes when I exercise, when I'm around the house, when I go to grab a burrito in the morning, or, God forbid, a cup of coffee. Seriously, it's... really comfy and it looks cool. It's the absolute best combo. Look at this. We got, this is a classic white tee here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I've got... Any 10-year-olds? Mac Jones. Any 10-year-olds?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
It's one of the best wise t-shirts I have ever grazed my body with these pants.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I used to wear these in our softball games. Actually, they're super, super mobile and like flexible and they're unbelievably comfy. It felt like I was playing in my PJs. Uh, they're built for comfort. They're built to last and they are built to give back.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
straight to the source at trueclassic.com slash playdate to get hooked up today. Ditch that fast fashion, guys. It's 2025. We're not buying into that anymore. Get yourself some real clothes. This stuff lasts. It's comfy. I mean, I wear it all the time, so I can't think of any better endorsement. Go get your True Classics. All right, we've all been there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
The Rizzler was an answer on Jeopardy last night. Wait, that's funny. Yeah, isn't that hysterical? What was the question?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Listen, I've been losing a lot of money on the New York Knicks because they're stinking it up a little bit, this series. So I think I could really benefit from some Hall of Fame bets. I like to make parlays, and I like to get trigger happy, and I see a team I like, and I just click them. And that is definitely not the way to do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
So I am excited about Hall of Fame bets because it's giving me a new lease on life where I can make sure I feel confident in every leg of my parlay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And for a limited time only, our listeners get not only a seven-day freebie,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
free trial but they also get 50 off their first month when they use code playdate at checkout just download the hall of fame app on ios or android and enter code playdate and you are all set to go let's get back into the episode all right let's get down to brass tacks why private parts dirty but hands clean that doesn't make any sense to me why do you have to why is my penis why would that be dirty
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I guess that's his name. Did anyone get it? No. Oh, no, no. A lady on the show did get it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
That's why the episode's late sometimes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Are you going to do that one that I sent?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Oh, okay. I'll do it this time. Or we can actually shoot for it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
But why do I have to do it? Because we didn't talk about this at all and you just said we're doing it. Well, Lauren texted it in the morning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I meant me and Scott didn't get it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I don't want to do it ever again. I hate doing it. Really? Yeah. You love it. I think it's hysterical, but it makes my skin crawl.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Guard. And then we're going to do ways to tell your boss you're quitting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
All right, guys, we just attempted to do the permitting division of the building department, but I think we're just going to probably just resume now because we don't want to get your hopes up. But it didn't work out, but we will do it next time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
When it does, it's glorious. But hold on to hope because we're coming back. All right, Lauren, throw us some pitches.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I got a mail. Someone mailed a pitch?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I also want to set the precedent now that if you mail it in, you are now at the top of the priority list.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
You're encouraging people who pitch stuff to mail it in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Google Jeopardy the Rizzo. Wait, wait, wait. Don't Google it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
L. L. Well, because you're spoken for. Oh, all right. I'm spoken for. Out of respect. I don't think that's what that was. I think she wouldn't kiss me on the cheek. I loved it I love that I like to picture it like the Marauders map yes yeah yeah where it's like dissolving oh my god when you guys were kids did you have invisible ink no
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
yes would you write on your bedroom walls no oh but i did carve like right like and then you and then you take the the uv light and then yeah kill them all kill them all when i was a kid i got a buck knife and we were on a road trip to our lake house which is about an hour and a half away and my sisters were being mean to me the whole time
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
We yell along at it. We yell at the TV if we get it right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
We had the patio door open while we were watching a movie. It was me, Zee, and Flynn. And there's like this beeping. And so I go out on the balcony. I originally thought like someone's car alarm was going off or something like way in the distance. But it's just like this really annoying beep coming out of our thing. Yeah. So I put in a maintenance request.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And then they told me that the worst word in the world was pape. And pape is a Chevrolet dealership in South Portland. But I didn't know how to read yet, I don't think. So I didn't know about it. It didn't register with me. And they were just harassing me the whole drive. And when I got to the house, my walls were made of wood. And I carved pape in the wall.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
With a buck knife. And my dad came in and was like, what? The world. Why would you ever do that? What's her name again?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And if we get one right, you look over at the other guy to see if he thinks it's cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Sorry. It's a paper airplane. You can just throw it. Pretty sure that's a paper airplane. I'm holding a drank.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
That was very sweet. Okay. Well done. Well done. Send more stuff.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
149 Bay Street. Actually, yeah. Santa Monica, California.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Could you imagine we get anthraxed?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Is that still a thing? I don't really even... What is that? Don't they have dogs that dive on the anthrax if they smell it? Dive on it? Like it's a bomb? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
It's going right in Will and I's office. It's going right on top of a grape.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
uh i love that a lot i have found the last few times we've gone to vegas i just pretty much stick to roulette because i hate the feeling of like being at a table and there's like a guy like staring at you and i'm like i don't yeah a lot of times i'll like playing blackjack i'll just ask the dealer like what should i do
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
It's a weird... The math says. It's a weird expectation, too, that everyone is privy to all the different ins and outs. Sometimes I'll... I would hit on a...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
15 when like that makes total sense to me and they'll be like dude she has a medium soft 6 like what are you talking about yeah like I don't know how to read like what they have and with poker it's a whole I've never even thought of trying to play poker at a casino not a fan sounds horrible alright pitch me Willie okay what is the ah I forget my pitch completely wait well what's the name of that company gun the one you're wearing 5 by Flynn Australian clothing brand I want to check it out
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
So it starts out as a complete full winter coat, snow pants, boots, hat, everything, everything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And then depending on what you want to wear that day, you zip off a certain amount. So if it's hot out, you zip it all the way down to a t-shirt and shorts and flip flops.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And I call it the uniform. It would take a lot of stress out of the morning. Exactly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And it never stinks or wrinkles.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
you were going to say stink or wrinkle.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
It takes, it takes all my friends that had to wear like a, uh, jacket and tie to school said it was like kind of awesome. I just knew what you're going to wear. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I'd wear a suit. Well, it wasn't really a suit. It was more of a jacket.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Honestly, it wasn't a jacket. It was like a... It was everything but the jacket, but it was nice. Except that when you hadn't done laundry, it's like you can't... What? If you get Ben and Jerry's flavor, everything but the jacket. What would it taste like? Literally everything but a jacket. Birds, French dressing, hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
i thought you meant the answer was christian joseph and like no if anyone got that we'd have to i'd be concerned i honestly should have got i just was so confused it was the most confusing clue i've ever read that is crazy and a lady got it i feel like he's gonna grow up to have just a lot of issues no big justice is fucked the risler is gonna be like president is that justice big justice i've seen him interact with google big justice type shit
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
What do you have to buy to get it? I remember it was like around the block last year. Was that really last year? That sounds like a year ago.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Well, here's the thing about business.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
you ever know about this the sometimes you get okay what's the worst part about moving into a new apartment hat it's losing things it hits different it hits it just hits different um you have to move all your shit you have to do it you have to do the whole thing introducing apartment swap you find a like-minded person who like their stuff's basically your stuff
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
and you're like we have similar clothes like it's just like for you moving to mine i move into yours i can take like what you can take all the clothes too yeah it's just like it's literally like you could leave with nothing but what's on your back and you just move into their life like it's like guys our age we all kind of have the same shit Yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I didn't think about that. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Well, I feel like you gotta give it a look before you move in, right? No. You don't even know what day you're moving out. They come in and they goon you the same way they do.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I actually would hate this I know a kid that got gooned I'm so obsessed with all my stuff and I'm like scared when I'm obsessed with gooning do you know what I'm talking I'm being serious but not the not the like brain rot term gooning used to be like they would it was like those camps that troubled kids would go to they would come goon you in the middle of the night and they'd like grab you out of your bed and be like you have to go now that's what they did in like my comedy group in college yeah it's like you got gooned didn't I tell you that story yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I got home from the callback. Oh, you were really high.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I just got super high because I was kind of anxious. And I was like the highest I've ever been. And they pounded on my door. I had fallen asleep sitting in a chair in my living room. And they were like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
like they do like a whole like ah and then they take you they blindfold you and they walk you out and put you in a car and i was freaking out as a night can you then we got to that like initiation thing and i just fell asleep immediately so the picture of like they posted like all our new they call them like babies like all our new babies and it was just the whole comedy group the other two babies and me just completely asleep in the middle you couldn't you couldn't stay awake for like half an hour to
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
i know i was i was like the highest i'd ever been like actually like i was like seeing shit like it was awesome i got that high a couple nights ago lauren can you google uh she's the man take off your clothes scene this is what i picture yeah you can google that for me shit you can do that again uh maybe the middle or like hazing Don't they do it in Parent Trap? That is an undie raid.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
A panty raid. Basically, they all rush and they smear guacamole on them. Got it. Guacamole, yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Teach me something. Teach me something? Yeah, sure. Do you guys know about Poon Limb? I know about Poon. Poon Lim was a 25-year-old Chinese sailor, and he holds the record for the longest known survival at sea in a small craft during 133 days adrift in the South Atlantic Ocean during World War II. Okay? I saw that movie.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
After his ship, the British merchant vessel SS Ben Lomond, I believe, was torpedoed by a German U-boat. Lauren, a German U-boat is a what? Submarine. Submarine. In November 1942, okay? So they get torpedoed. Lim escaped on a life raft with limited supplies, but the majority of everyone else perished, right? Uh...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
when his supplies ran out he survived by catching rainwater fishing with improvised tools and trapping seabirds all while fending off sharks and swimming around the raft to stay fit so he was worried about like like if you like sit stationary for telling your muscles will go away whatever so he's swimming around and you'd have to like fight off sharks he was eventually rescued by brazilian fishermen in 1943 april 1943 so almost a year later or not almost a year later
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Having drifted over 750 miles, he was awarded the British Empire Medal for his extraordinary endurance. And they still use his tactics as like a case study for sailors in case they get lost at sea. And he later emigrated to the U.S., our beautiful, beautiful country, where he lived until his death in 1991. Wow. So he lived like a full life after that. So he saw Miracle on Ice. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And then he had 11 years after Miracle on Ice. That's unbelievable. It's the dream. It's the American dream. Wow. Turtle. Do you know turtles? Have you ever thought about this? You know when the ice freezes? Mm-hmm. On like... They do like a version of hibernating. I didn't know that. I thought that was kind of interesting. Like sea turtles.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Yeah, watch this video. He, like, seems like kind of a normal kid. What's inside? That's where Lacey's got his podcast set up. Oh, you do podcasts in the neighborhood? Yeah. I sleep in there. What is your point here? That he's cool? That, like, he's not, like... That's how, like, kids his age talk. It's not like he's, like... I don't know, dude. I think he's cooked.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
They just like shut down. Yeah, they like kind of shut down and don't really do. Yeah. How long can they?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Their metabolism slows and they, yeah, so it's mental. But how do they breathe? Through their, I mean, they breathe in the underwater normally. No, they don't. Sea turtles? I don't think so.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Google sea turtles breathe underwater. No, I don't think so. Sea turtles cannot breathe underwater. What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
How do they breathe then? They breathe the air. That's what I was saying. It's such a shocking feat. I think that's why it's so crazy. Well, it was already crazy to me. Did you know that alligators... Wait, how do they breathe?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Butt breathing. They do butt breathing. I tried once. I choked.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Lauren, look up alligators poking their nose through the ice. This is what happens when... How often do sea turtles have to go up for air? All the time. This is what they do when the water freezes. They all stick their nose out through the ice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
No, that's... Oh, as long as two hours, yeah. I love the photos of bears coming out of... Wait, they have to go up every two minutes? This is blowing my mind. I thought most turtles were just chilling down there. That's Lauren when we have a morning record.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Chili's? Yeah. I would be shocked. I think they have fajitas. Hmm.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Like, yeah. The triple dipper is awesome. What are you talking about? It was just, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
They didn't do it for me. Uh, I love the Southwest things. Those ones on the top. I haven't been to Detroit airport and they just did. Okay. Well that's, that's obviously why it was worse. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Could you imagine having to do that shit with your dad on the internet to chase your dad's dream?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Or the person got it for lunch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
So this is Brazilian nun goes viral after unexpectedly beatboxing on a Catholic TV channel. Apparently they were just talking about our Lord and Savior. And then they just didn't tell the TV show they were going to do this. And they unprompted did this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Father's trying to get in on it, but he doesn't have the rhythm like the ladies.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Those guys rock. I would love to hang out with them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
The other girl was like getting the ass down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
All right, Willie. Yeah, she's her. Good luck beating that, pal. I'm fucking cooked. Good luck beating that, pal. what language is that brazilian they speak portuguese though no that was brazilian all right it's just like hair ripping off what does brazilian sound like all right what do we what are we looking at for our audio listeners this is a guy with a big uh penny farthing okay
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
One of the most hot upcoming wrestling wrestlers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
He's not one of the hottest. Let's think about it this way. If you were a kid and your dad was like, we got to get Denel and Tube off the ground. And he made you the face of it. Do you think that would ruin your relationship?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
at the office yeah there was one here yeah they had it for like a video that chat yeah i don't know where it is you can't be on your phone during the podcast i was pulling up my uh all right should we do but what are you pulling up on my notes should we do ways to tell your boss you're quitting first or phineas and ferb episodes that don't exist phineas Yeah, I'm excited about these.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
all right i got a story for you guys there's like a vent on my patio where like the water heater steam kind of sus i'm just saying he's on fraud watch um there's a vent where like the water heater steam comes out of sure and we're in that weird limbo right now where it's like at night i'd rather have the windows open but it's too hot during the day so we're like turning the ac on and off whatever
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Yeah. These are Phineas and Ferb plots that don't exist. Phineas and Ferb find out that there is a public housing shortage in the tri-state area and build 500 units of government subsidized housing in their backyard. When they realize mom is coming home, they have to evict all of the tenants and demolish the buildings. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Phineas and Ferb learn about the Holocaust in school and decide that they have to stop it. So they create a time machine, go back in time, and make young Hitler's art all the rage so that he gets into art school and doesn't start World War II. But when they get back, Doofenshmirtz is way more powerful because they accidentally created a power vacuum.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And he's also German. Got it. Yep, yep.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Phineas and Ferb discover oil on their property and set up a large-scale fracking operation in their backyard. Perry finds that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is building a renewable energy-nator, which Perry realizes will diminish the value of all of their oil if it's effective.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Perry tells the government, and they kill Doofenshmirtz. All right, Phineas and Ferb become country music stars, and like any good country music star, they open their own bar in Nashville. Everything goes great until Germany's biggest country star, Florgen Wallen, throws a chair off the roof. Oh, no. Florgen Wallen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Phineas and Ferb build a replica of their house in the backyard. Mom comes home earlier than expected and walks into the replica. They must attempt to swap the houses before she notices. Perry is diagnosed with dementia.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Phineas and Ferb realize they're too young to go on an adult cruise, so they start their own kids-only cruise line, and it becomes wildly popular. When Candace brings their mom to bus them, they hit an iceberg and sink the ship, getting rid of all the evidence. That's very good. I like that. Iceberg like Titanic, right? Of course. Of course, of course, of course. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
These are ways to tell your boss you're quitting. I'm putting myself out to pasture. I'm demanding a trade. Jerry and I both quit without telling Jerry. I'm stepping away from the team. I'm taking my talents to Morgan Wallen. Sorry. What? I'm taking my talents to Morgan Stanley. You aren't paying me enough to want to be around you. I'm waving the white flag.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
It's just a mess of you. This place fucking reeks. I'm putting myself on the waiver wire. You fucking reek. I feel like you're taking advantage of me for my work here because I feel like I bring in more money than I'm paid. Why do you say it like that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Yeah, Baby Gronk is like... Who's that again? Perverse.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Not you. No, no, no. I was just like, why was that one so... I don't like it. I don't like it. All right. Who's ready for Rusty's song of the day?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
baby we were really we're covering all the like brain rot stuff today it's like really but he his dad makes like he like pays only fans models to like be in his videos it's really odd yeah it's really really strange that's yeah that's so questionable yeah i think it's really really fucking weird the rizzler though like that's like it's like wholesome content
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
all right i'm trying i'm trying to i've been trying to spread spread the wealth of like artists that i add but sometimes i just have so many songs by one artist that i like that it would be a shame not to add them yeah so i'm gonna go still beating by mac demarco that's been one of my jams love it for for years i think that was one of the first songs i ever listened to in my car the first song i ever listened to was uh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
That's what Will calls butt stuff. Oh, gross. All right. We love you guys so much. Comment what you're...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
um comment song recs that you think me and willie should cover can we do a whole podcast like this someday yeah comment oh comment something backwards comment yeah the song that me and lauren all right we love you guys so much take it easy players we'll see you guys bright and early on wednesday play date episode 111 just roll right into it all right bye guys
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Yeah, and I don't think his dad's, like, ever really in it. Like, I think it's just, like... Yeah, his dad, like... His dad documented him being Black Panther and he was just, like, such a... Likeable character. And it's funny how, like, they've fallen off and he's stood at the test of time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I came home early yesterday because I had to do a reshoot for something. And I was sitting there building Legos, having a beer, and a doorbell rings. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Big Justice and AJ are totally falling off. The Rizzlers everywhere. He's had all the Knicks games.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
It was glorious. They took a big L. It was glorious. And so I was watching the Knicks Pacers game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I just don't like the Knicks. Okay. I also think Tyrese Halliburton seems like a nice guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
He's a really cool player. And Siakam makes me happy. Because he gets no recognition, but every playoffs, he's like legit. Yeah, yeah. So I was watching the Knicks-Pacers game, and I was keeping an eye on the Sox-Brewers game. Went to extra innings. And you know when you're like, I can't turn this game off because if the Knicks come back, I'm going to feel like an idiot that I missed it. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
So I'm like kind of keeping an eye. It's 1-1. Split screen. You got YouTube TV?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I have one on like right now. See how like whenever the Sox are playing, it's like on my phone. Oh, yeah. So I like am keeping an eye on that. I have the box or the game cast up or whatever. It's 1-1. So if anyone scores or if they scored... If the Brewers scored, it was over. And it's 1-1. I'm like, all right, let's just get through this. There was like a seven point lead in the next game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And then I'll switch over. And on my phone, it still says 1-1. And then I turned on the, I like switched to the MLB app. And in the fucking blink of an eye, before ESPN had even loaded it, we lost 5-1. I was in an Uber the other day. That Red Sox stinking. Bad team.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
and sometimes ty will order my roommate ty will order his postmates early and i'll grab it and put it on the table and so i like look through the people he was like not it was way too early for him to be ordering postmates there's just a guy standing with his hands in his pockets I was like, okay, maybe I don't do it, but like if, whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Was his daughter there? Yeah. I think that's so normal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
People are mad about that? Yeah, there was like backlash to it. Regular season game when you're under 500. He should be applauded for that. Any chance to get to walk those halls of Alumni Stadium? I mean, you'd be an idiot to pass it up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
what were you gonna say uber oh i was in uber viral uber viral uber early morning i get in she was my favorite type of uber driver which was just like busty she was busty but that was not what i was that is inappropriate i'm sorry what Okay, for the record, I didn't see any of her bust. So I don't know if she was or not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
What I was going to say is she was my favorite type of Uber driver in the sense that we were both on the same page. Like, we're not talking. Yeah. It's early in the morning. Let's just fucking get through this. She's this radio show playing. And I think she was respecting that I wanted to be quiet. So she was keeping it low. And then I was like, this sounds kind of interesting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And she was like, thank you. This is awesome. And turned it up. And it was like listeners would call in and explain their problem. Yeah. And it's a man and a woman that host. And the woman, the problem was basically like my husband poops with the door open. She works from home and he takes like super loud phone calls or like walks past her desk and like farts in her face.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Like it's so clear that he's in the wrong. Yeah. and uh and the woman is like you know giving any ration giving what any rational person would say which is like yeah we need to sit this sit him down like have a talk with him and uh and then it just gets to the male host and he just he had apparently written everything down in bullet points was like farce in your face don't care and
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
uh loud when you're on calls don't care we don't care and then the and like just like ripped her to shreds for no reason then the female host was like all right let's hear the next one and uh and then she turned it back down and we just sat in silence but it was like it i'd never listened to radio in the face don't care don't care and if that's what radio is like bugs in her bed don't care
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Mouth is four feet wide. I think that she should divorce him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Birds in the kitchen don't care. His sister was in town, and he... Oh, this was... I left out a very important detail. Okay. He thinks that if the door's closed, it gets too cold, so he cracks every door. So he like... Oh, God, fuck me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
and so i spilled water on my crotch his sister was in town and they were sleeping in the guest room and then him and his wife were having sex she thought that he she thought that she closed the door he had secretly like opened it again and they were like having sex and then she was like she looked up and the door was open he was like your sister like definitely heard that maybe she's into that the sister he's like hearing having people here
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
So I open it and he's like, hi, I'm here for the maintenance request. Literally just in plain, it would be like if I showed up like this with no tools, nothing, whatever. I was like, okay, it's out here. Walks out. He's like the most laid back guy ever. He starts like fucking around with it with his hands. He can't figure out how to get the cover off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I went to school with a voyeurist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I did already? Wait. She told my girlfriend at the time. They were in the same sorority. She told my girlfriend at the time that her fantasy was to have someone watch her and my buddy have sex, who was her boyfriend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
But I don't think he knew about it. I mean, he gonna find out when he sees me in the corner. Yeah. Come on. What's the urge to have other people watch you?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
It's an instant feedback. Tips, tricks. Laugh track. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooh, ooh, ooh. MCs for sex. Oh, yeah. That back shot was brought to you by Carl's Jr. Jesus Christ. Wait, I have an idea. Because that thing was beefy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Obviously, I have a bad memory.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
We were having a conversation about TV shows, and I said Undercover Boss, but for pimps. And then I brought it up later, and he was like, what? You didn't come up with that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I mean, it was a conversation we were both in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
That's actually my dad's middle name. Kind of girly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Went to high school with a kid named Jude. He used to bite holes in the bus seat, and they parked the bus on the playground.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
No, no, no. His punishment was he had to sit in the bus and watch everyone else have a playground, but then they just left him unattended. It was like a buffet of seats.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
no but my idea is undercover boss a pimp on undercover boss he has to dress up like a girl and go get fucked i gotta pay these bitches this shit is horrible nothing that's good that's what pimps say i'm not saying like bitch like like uh in the traditional sense it's like it's a it's a thing pimps say i've never been with a pimp i've never slept with a pimp lauren have you ever slept with a pimp no
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Wait, time out. Time out. When I interrupt Lauren, there are 300 comments about it, but Will was just in the middle of an awesome idea.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Wait, what happened? It just happened again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I interrupted Lauren too much, which is true, and I apologized to her privately, and I said I'm going to stop doing it. But we all interrupt each other all the time. Yeah, we do.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
It was in the middle of an epic quartet thought and you said wait this morning. Oh, I'm sorry. All right. Three, two, one, draw. Hello. That's not what I meant. I meant whoever can get their idea. I was thinking maybe if I don't say anything, I can't interrupt. Okay, Lauren, what were you going to say happened this morning?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
and i was like i kind of like showed him and so we get the cover off whatever he's looking at he's just like not doing anything for like a couple minutes i'm building legos and like i hear zero tinkering happening over there keep my zero tools he's a maintenance man he's asleep i he walks back in he's like hey man do you have a screwdriver i was like Yeah, why do you not have a screwdriver?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
We should go do pottery there. Wait, is it like Color Me Mine?