Michelle Obama
Appearances
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Okay.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
You know what I mean? And how old were you then? I was 11. And they were like, this is huge.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
You know what I mean? And how old were you then? I was 11. And they were like, this is.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Really, whatever that is.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Although that was one of my favorite moves.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
I thought I did when I would be asked. Probably around the age of 10, I thought I wanted to be a pediatrician.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Mm-hmm.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Well, that makes me think, I mean, I share this all the time. I mean, I went to Princeton, Harvard Law, because I thought I was going to be a lawyer and a corporate lawyer. I didn't know anything about what a lawyer did. I didn't come, our family was, we were not professional people. I picked law because it was the next thing to do.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
I applied, I got into Harvard, you get into Harvard, you go, right? That was the extent of my thinking. Yeah. Right. And then I got out. I practiced in a firm for two years and I was like, I don't like this at all. I'm not, you know, because corporate law is about its papers and briefs, its research. It's not very people oriented, especially in your early years.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
It just, I had no idea what corporate law was. Right. Right. And I had wonderful mentors. People supported me. I was able to achieve and do good things in that year. But I didn't know what that felt like. I did not want to be a lawyer. Yeah. Isn't that crazy?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
As it turns out, after all that education and all those loans, but to your point, it was all them loans that we just paid off before Barack went into the White House. Okay. So, I mean, we were carrying debt, you know, for a very long time for me not to be a lawyer. But to your point, I had no idea what that was about. going to mean and what that was going to feel like.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
It was just a goal that I set for myself. I didn't even know what it was based on. I didn't know my why. I knew my what, but I didn't know my why. And I could have felt like a failure for it, right? But I didn't. Fortunately, I had parents. I was like, let me try on some other things. To your point, there are chapters in life. That was a chapter.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
No, no, no.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Lawyer didn't come until after I realized that I was not talented at chemistry or math. You know, that's what you can be at 10. You can dream. That's like being a doctor is all about loving children and wanting to help because I love kids. I love little kids. And I thought, well, if I could do something that was professional and I could save lives.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
I needed to do that and know that and understand that. And I went on to have many, many chapters. And I'm still glad that I got my law degree. The way I think, how I see the world is very much influenced by that education.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
But it wasn't who I was supposed to be. And there's no way I would have known that had I not tried it and then moved on from it and tried on some other things. So for Noelle, they're just, that life is about the chapters. You know, it's never any one thing. And to place too much stock or put too much emotion on one or two achievements, it always sets you up for disappointment. It's so true.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Because life is bigger than that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
And then I went to high school and chemistry kind of threw me for I didn't like science or math.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
But this is why I want, you know, this piece of advice is for Noel, but it's also for parents out there. It's for teachers. It's for the people who work with young people. You know, I think we put too much emphasis on titles and salaries and stuff like that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
I mean, you know, one reason why I said I wanted to be a lawyer was because when you say that out loud and you're a little kid, the adult's responses are always, Oh, that's so wonderful, right? Like, they don't even know what that is. It's like, it sounds good. You know, I want my daughter to be a lawyer, you know?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
So we're constantly giving feedback to kids subtly and directly about what makes for a good life, what makes for a good career choice, what makes you a good person. And a lot of times it's tied to what's your title? What's your salary? What school did you go to? What's that name school? And we're sending those subtle messages.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
So now you become Noel and you've been all throughout your life pursuing these little applause lines that you get from adults that are a sign that this is good. Oh, you want to write a book? Oh, that sounds impressive, right? Guess I want to write a book. Mom reacted pretty well to that. Yeah. So now I see young people getting caught at going after words, titles, things, right? A salary.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
I want to be rich. I want to be this name thing. And that keeps them from understanding their macro because they're not spending time thinking about who am I. That's right. And what do I want to be in life? Because when I had to transition out of law, that was the first time when I decided at that stage, after all that debt, I don't want to be a lawyer.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
I could get grades. But if I thought, if I'm going to pick a career where I have to do math and science for like eight years, it's like, nah, I'll do something else. But that was my dream. What about you?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Now I have to do the hard work of figuring out, well, who do I want to be? Because none of my degrees taught me to even think like that. No one had ever asked those questions. I was getting A's and awards and all that, but nobody ever said, who is Michelle? And who do you want to be in the world?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
So I had to do that work on my own and start meeting with different people and hearing about different jobs and careers because I was even limited to going to the best schools in the country. I was shown like 10 careers I could be of all the things in the world, you know? How did you discover, how did you get yourself to that answer? I'm curious. I started doing, I started meeting with people.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
I started thinking, I had to start thinking outside of the box, like, what do I enjoy?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
And it went back to kids and inspiring. It went back to mentoring. And it's like, I get my most fulfillment. I wake up and pop out of bed when I'm going to sit down with another young person who was like me. And I could like, share with them some secrets, some things I learned to help make their life a little bit easier. Because I know just how many young people just don't know.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Really, whatever that is.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
And you really do that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
It was like race car. I was going to say pilot.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
But before you can understand the we, you have to understand the me. You know, like I had to take some time to really understand my, I'll use your, my macro. What did I care about? How do I want to be in the world? How do I want to impact people? And so from there, really sort of saying to myself, well, my joy comes from giving and working with other people and working with young people.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
That's really my joy, right? And then now, like, what are the careers I can do with that? Who are the people that do this? And their teachers is like, I don't know if I want to be in a classroom, have some conversations with professors. I started talking to people at universities because young adults were there. I met with deans of students. I wrote to presidents of universities, Northwestern.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
I wrote to the... president of the University of Chicago, I was just making this stuff up. And I sent letters saying, this is who I am. I'm a young attorney. I went to these schools. I'd love to come and talk to you. And I got a lot of no's, but I got a handful of yeses. And I remember meeting with the head of corporation counsel for the University of Chicago.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
I'll never forget Art Sussman, who has passed. He just said, I would love to meet with you because he was an attorney. And I sat down, took time off of lunch, went met with him, talked about the university and all the things that you can do there. And then he introduced me to Susan Scherr, who eventually became my chief of staff as first lady. Wow.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
She was working in the mayor's office as corporation counsel. Eventually, she introduced me to Valerie Jarrett. who then hired me to work in the city. These are people who are now all my longtime friends, but this all came from me trying to find out my me. And through it, I met all these strangers. None of these people knew me. But it built to this story. And I started trying on other things.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
I just tried on other careers. I worked for the city in planning and development. I worked in the mayor's office. I started a nonprofit organization working with young people. Oh my God.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
That's why you love Formula One so much.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
No, what did she say?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Thank you. felt felt Thank you. Thank you.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Oh, see, Ms.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Yeah, but she didn't know that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
And the fact that... And she didn't also know that race car drivers make a pretty good living.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Thank you. We'll be right back.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Although that was one of my favorite movies.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
So Miss Thompson didn't know what she was talking about.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
And what grade was that? Second grade. See, this is what we're talking about. And that's the thing. One of the things I don't like about asking little kids, little bitty kids what they want to be like they would know.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
And then shaming them, you know?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
It's just sort of like, why do we do that to kids? Because that sets them up for thinking that life is predictable. You can pick things and plan it and it will actually happen. And we're going to talk about this more later. But I think that's one of the things that gets kids kind of stuck into thinking that they're supposed to know. everything about their lives by the time they're 15.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
They're supposed to have it all figured out. Yeah. And that just sets them up. It sets up the wrong kind of expectation for how life actually works.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Well, because over the course of your life, you may actually be three or four different things. But yeah, dreams, you know, it's fun to dream, but I think that it's the balance of how do you let kids dream, but you don't pigeonhole them by their dreams. Right, right. And I'm very careful about that. I mean, like with the girls, Malia...
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
is one of those interesting kids who, when she was 10, she said she wanted to write and direct, and she's doing that. That's crazy. I always say that to Sasha, the younger one. That's unusual. It is rare that somebody decides at 10 that they want to do something, and then they do it, and they actually like it. But I still try not to pigeonhole them.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Just because I say this to Malia, just because you said you wanted to do that at 10, you're now an adult. You're trying this stuff on. You may like it. You may not. I just want to always give my kids an out because if things don't work out right, I don't want to think that they're disappointing me because they said they were going to do something when they were 10.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
It didn't turn out that way or life happened. So I'm constantly trying to balance being enthusiastic about what they want to do, but also say life, we don't know what's going to happen in life. So we have to stay emotionally and mentally flexible so that when things go wrong or something changes or they learn something new about themselves, that they have room to respond to that change. Yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Mm-hmm.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Okay.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
I mean, just listening to you read Kiki's bio, it's like, girl, I would think you were 70 years old with all you've done in your life. Sometimes I do feel 70. You know, I mean, how did you, how have you packed so much into such a young life? You're, you know, you're a baby yourself.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Oh my gosh, thank you so much.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
And you have done so much in such a short period of time. Girl, I'm so proud of you. Just watching you just do your thing. How do you manage all of that?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Do you think about the wisdom of their parenting? What do you think now about the way your parents, you know, sort of guided you?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
That sounds just like Our mom, who's like, I don't understand these kids blaming their parents. It's like, well, you think their parents didn't go through something? I mean, there's just a... And we talked about it because we from Illinois. Okay. And Kiki, she's sort of almost from Chicago. Anytime I say Robbins, people are like.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
But if you know Chicago, you know Robbins is like, it's the hood suburb.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Okay.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
This episode is brought to you by Pinesol and Chase Home Lending.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
It's not, you know, Robbins is not Highland Park. No. It's not Barrington, you know. But your parents sound like there's a sort of common sense groundedness to just the way they think. There's just kind of a Midwestern kind of simplicity and kind of, you know, no-nonsense mentality.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Hi, Craig.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
I'm great. How are you? Welcome back to my world.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
You got a lot of nerve coming into D.C. and you didn't even stay with me.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Disappointment Is the Key to Career Success with Keke Palmer
Because you all trying to be Airbnb friendly.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
Real work. Real work around the house. And what I mean by real work is I had... My chores were to clean the bathroom,
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
What are you talking about? We alternated. We alternated weeks.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
And I didn't. But I had to do it. Mom wanted us both to know how to have a clean bathroom. But my every weekend job was cleaning those stairs.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
We had 14 stairs. Notice I remember how many there were.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
That Went from our apartment down to our great-aunt Robbie's apartment. And this is what I remember about Saturday morning.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
You remember that tin pot that we used to have? We had a tin pot, a pot now that used to be on the stove, which was now used for cleaning. And you put a little soap, dish soap in it. And then you put pine salt in it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
And there was nothing like that smell. Like when you came home from school and mom had been mopping and you could smell the pine salt. It was usually Monday because she had laundry on Monday. You come home from school and it smells like, ah. New house.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
And I have to say that I, still to this day, when I'm mopping, if we don't have that pine oil smell...
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
That's it, isn't it?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
And here we are in adulthood and they're a partner of ours on this podcast.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
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IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
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IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
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IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
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IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
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IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
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IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
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IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
False positives and false negatives can occur. Cologuard is available by prescription only. This episode of IMO is brought to you by Theraflu. As a product that was created to provide effective and comforting relief when you're fighting the flu or a cold, Theraflu firmly believes that the ability to rest and recover when sick should be a right, not a privilege.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
Some tough stuff.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
You know, I think back to the time when my dad was working for the city of Chicago as a stationary fireman. And it seemed to us that he never missed work and he never got sick. But what we realized is that my dad didn't want to take his paid sick time because he wasn't sure. If he would keep his job by doing that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
Yeah. And, you know, we're going to talk about people who are dealing with family members with Alzheimer's. And, you know, I was talking to the crew before we got started. And, you know, you talk about our Uncle Terry, our great Uncle Terry. And we didn't know what. Alzheimer's was or dementia or anything like that back when we were younger. But we've been fortunate.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
And my sister and I realized that my dad would be sick, but he just thugged through it. It was a difficult thing for him to deal with then. And unfortunately, so many Americans still face this pressure today. 27 million Americans still lack paid sick time. which causes them to have to choose between losing a day's pay and getting the proper rest they need in order to get better.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
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IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
As everyone deserves the right to rest and recover. Learn more or help someone apply for the fund at theraflu.com slash right to recover. And before we get to the question, I want you to tell us about Hilarity for Charity. Yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
We haven't had to deal with this like some people have.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
Sounds like that would keep me wide awake.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
I had a pretty good score last night. This might be a good time to hear our question from our listener because... Let's help him get some solutions. So we have Natalie, who's our producer, will read the question and then we'll... I'm sorry, Natalie, you are involved.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
Coat and tie.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
Mm-hmm.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
And how did that manifest? And actually, what were the stressors that you saw?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
He was ahead of the game. He was ahead of the game.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
He was like, I know how to work the system. You guys are messing with my system. So not from your mom, but actually from your dad. Oh, yes.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
Yeah, we always thought it was nightmares. And we only noticed it at night because during the day, mom and dad would handle things and not worry us with it. But at night... You couldn't help it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
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Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash IMO. This episode of the IMO podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp. How many times a day do you compare yourself to others or wish your life looked like someone else's? We all do it sometimes because it's easy to envy friends' lives on social media when you only see the good parts.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
But you know what they say, comparison is the thief of joy. And in reality, nobody has it all together. Therapy can help you focus on what you want instead of what others have. Like that career goal you set your sights on. Or that relationship you want to grow. Or that daily habit you want to get into. because your best life is always better than the idea of someone else's.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
We believe in therapy at IMO, and we've seen firsthand how beneficial it is to invest in your own well-being. You know, this reminds me of my teams. When I coached back in my day, we didn't have therapists assigned to the team. And boy, it sure would have been nice to have the access to better help so I could send my players to someone who I could trust and was reputable.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
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IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash I-M-O. This is a really interesting point that you bring up here because for Nick, he's seeing exactly what you folks saw. How can we help him help his dad? Because I think... I mean, Hilarity for Charity, what you've been through, you guys are right at the point where you can help Nick today.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
You know, just to remind our listeners, our dad had MS and walked with a limp from the time we knew him, and it got progressively worse later. And he would limp his way downstairs and bathe Terry and shave him and get him out of bed. It got to a point where he would ask me to go down with him to help him because it was getting hard for him to do it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
I'm glad you said that, Seth, because I wanted to bring that up because so Nick's helping his dad. He's helping his mom and he's married and got kids and they're sort of going by the wayside. And I'm looking at the two of you and how you deal with it with humor and with pragmatism. And then you start this foundation. Nick doesn't have that. Any ideas for Nick that we can leave him with?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
Nick should go to therapy if he's not already going to therapy.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
And it was really an eye-opening thing for me to see.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
So that's a terrific segue here because we'd like to give Nick something, some tips that would make the sort of, give him the power to be the best version of himself and his family. And I've just jotted down a few things you all talked about.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
So the first one is meet them where they're at.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
Yeah. Slash acceptance. Yes.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
And what I love about this is we always say meet people where they're at. Yeah. Except when... They're sick.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
You know, we're always trying to fix it. So I love that. The second one I have here is care for yourself for the caregiver.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
And the next one I have here is seek helpful resources. Turn to the professionals. And that goes with the next one is the family therapy, joining a support group. I think that's all one big category.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
And one last thing, which you both hit on, that we experienced with our mom is what would your mom want? Yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
And that's something that we can all do for our family members. It doesn't have to just be children, but the people who are going to be here after we're gone. Let them know what you want. It takes the pressure off.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
I tell you what. Thank you guys for being here. This has been great. Thank you so much.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
See, I never knew that. And you're right. We have never talked about that. And, you know, I was your typical boy, so I didn't... I felt like... Mom was doing what she had to do. So whatever I wasn't getting, I sort of just thug through it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
with us today and they have some history with caring for a parent who's had alzheimer's disease and uh so i'm i'm really interested in that and for those of you who don't know uh lauren is a screenwriter producer uh director actress uh and most of all a philanthropist along with Seth.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
And Seth really doesn't need any introduction, but he's also a fine actor and a funny person and writer, screenwriter, producer, director. But I want to welcome our guests, Lauren and Seth Rogen. Come on out, gang.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
How are you, Michelle?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
So happy you're here. It's so nice to meet you.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
We have not officially
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
Good. We're back at our nice Airbnb taping out here on the West Coast.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
So how are you guys?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
I know.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
In the Midwest, it was, we had our coldest time. And it hit down into the 30s, which isn't that cold for us, but it's cold.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
Yeah, you said it to Seth.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
I'm kind of a wimp. Yeah, you have. Yeah, people who live in the Midwest don't know D.C. is warm most of the time.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Caretakers Need to Care for Themselves with Seth and Lauren Rogen
Well, another story I think about is, how mom and dad trained us to work hard. Do you remember the chores?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Like the crisis would require an emergency session.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
You know, I just, I can speak for me, but female friendships are complicated because we are, we go there. We are, you know, we, and we spend so much time playing out the sociology. I think women, and I don't want to generalize, but women more so, we are sociologists. I just find the interpersonal connection interactions of everyone, especially my friends, are fascinating to me.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
So when I'm with my friends, and this was true at all levels, we're never just going to throw a ball. You know, we're not just trying to finish a game. It's like, I want to know why, how, tell me more. What did that... Well, let's talk about that a little bit more. And in the process of that, you know each other inside and out, which is why some of these hurts... why it hurts so much. Absolutely.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Because, you know, and not every woman does this, but I know my friendships, all of them are deep and meaningful and they don't always last. But because of that, you don't end it without the hurt. You know, it is complicated.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
No, no, I'm starting to drive. Really? Yeah, I can drive.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Well, I didn't realize he didn't feel comfortable. And just to remind folks, our dad was a blue collar worker. He worked as a stationary fireman for the water filtration plant for the city of Chicago. So he was a shift worker. But what I remember is that Our dad never—I can't remember him ever taking a sick day or a day off other than his assigned vacation days. Never. And I didn't know why.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
I just thought, you know, he just had a great work ethic, which I think he did.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
You could take me for a spin.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Well, our father had— multiple sclerosis. So I would imagine there were days that he woke up and he probably felt tired. He probably felt a level of exhaustion that came with the disease, but he just pushed through.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Like too many folks in this country.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Don't you remember when I came to visit you in Milwaukee and the boys wanted me to pick them up from school? Yes. And we did.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
In a motorcade in the pickup line. They were just like, niche. I was like, yeah, yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Four SUVs deep. That was so much fun. I'm sure their friends were like, what the heck?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
The biggest hurts that I've had in friendships, and hurts is strong, when I didn't feel like there was emotional reciprocity.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
right because you know the imbalance that she talks about that's you know that's that that's always present right you know someone in every relationship is given a little more given less you know some people have more or less at a given time i mean people are complicated and and flawed and all of us are That has never been a problem for me, like the complicated nature of my friends, right?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
When I felt most, almost betrayed is when I felt like We're all at the table, giving, sharing, and you weren't. You were at the table. But it's sort of like, it wouldn't be, you know, probably one of the reasons when he went through his divorce, his first marriage, I didn't know what he was going through. There probably felt like a little emotional gap.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
I felt emotionally robbed because it was like, you weren't telling me. You weren't telling me. And maybe it's because you didn't trust me. You didn't trust yourself.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
But I'm just using it as an example in the table of... For me, at least, that becomes more important. And maybe it's because of who I am and trust. And I let people in. So when I let people in, you're in. And I don't have the time or the energy to have to second guess what I say to you or how I feel. I want to be at the table with my friends completely myself.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
I'm like, get in. And don't touch the guns. I do remember that. Oh, my goodness. But so we're talking about friendship today. Yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
But that means I'm assuming you are too. And if you're not, and in the case of Eva, maybe her friend didn't feel like she was fully there. That's so complicated.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Or like, you're always at my house and I'm never at yours. Yeah. I mean, that... That's a problem. I don't mind hosting. I don't mind being... Because oftentimes in my friend group, I am the one with tickets.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
I have the resources. I've got the... I have more of the special... Oh, guess what we can do? And there's a natural imbalance, but it's like... You if you never invite me on a trip, even if I can't go or if you never plan a dinner or whatever, even if it's just pizza.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
So what's your version of balanced in friendship?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Yeah, I agree. That's equivalency to me.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Yep, because it couldn't happen before then.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Two Capricorns. Let's do it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Or did you bring up, we're having problems and let's talk about... Or did you wait until... Like I said at the outset, I waited until it was... So you didn't go deep.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Just the mere fact that you told somebody... The obvious. You told your friends that it happened. That it happened. That it's happening. That it's happening.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Like the little, little, I don't keep up, don't get a chance to keep up with the folks from little, little time. Although, as folks know, mom recently passed and A lot of people came to the funeral. They did, right. And two of my girl girls from grammar school, the Gores, Pam and Nikki, and they had a little sister, Gina, but they came to the funeral. And it was funny.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
It's sort of right. We would have been, but you do what your family needs at the time. There's no way we wouldn't have gone through a recovery of things. It would just have been good to know that before it was like, everything's great and now everything is over. That's how we found out.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
They found out. So it was like, what? How did, you know, the sharpness of it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
But the thing that I like is that you did go deep with your friends. That's why I think we were confused because it sounded like you did to them what you did to us.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Okay, well that, but that's, you know.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
But I find that in my friends, we always go in deep.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Yeah, and I think Eva's asking, am I a bad friend, right? I mean, I think this situation is worth giving her some pause, you know, with maybe the other friends she is close with in real time. Yeah. If she does have those, and, you know, and this is what women do. Like, this would have happened to me in one friendship, and I would have gone to a set of friends to say, hey—
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Hey, this is what happened to me. Am I messing up here? Am I wrong? Right. And the crew would be they would dissect it. They would be IMO in real time, you know. And I think, you know, with what I know, what we understand from this letter, I would tell Eva, yeah, girl, you do need to think a little bit, you know.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Think a little bit because it, you know, for somebody to go through something tragic and then in their letter with, I think this friendship is over because it's not giving me enough in this particular situation, she probably would check herself to say, you're right. I wasn't fully in this. I was ambivalent and I thought it was okay for me to be ambivalent here.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
because it didn't mean the same thing to Eva as it did to her friend.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
We got a quick second to talk, but it was almost like I hadn't... I hadn't missed a minute with them. So we vowed to keep in touch. But outside of childhood, I can say that I have at least... Almost at least one good friend or more from every aspect of my life.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
But that's also part of friendship. Right. Because, you know, like you said, if you're honest, if your friends know who you are, if there's some transparency there, you know, I have friends like that in times when I've been that friend. And the hope is that people will be like, girl, she must be going through something, you know, or she's busy.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Or, you know, and that's when you feel the security of friendship because you can completely show up as yourself, flaws and all. The inconsiderate or the, you know, you got your friend group and it's like, well, Issa's not going to be the one to call because she just doesn't do that. You know, I'm not a great, you know, I don't call on a regular basis, but I tend to organize my friends.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
For the same. Like, I'm the one that's like, okay, let's think about this. Or, you know, everybody come visit me here. And that was because of eight years also. I mean, you know, it was hard to reach me for eight years without a whole lot of goings on. And in order for me to maintain my friendships, I had to be more deliberate.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
And over the years, I've become the more deliberate one. And also because of who I am, I think people just assume I don't want to bother you. Yeah, same. You know, because I'm not going to bring these problems. I've had so many of my good friends who went through stuff, and I'm like, you didn't tell me? No, I didn't want to bother you.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
So that means I often have to bend over even more to check in so people know that when things are tough, do not not call me. Because I may not be able to do anything. Because now I'm mad. It's like, now I'm mad at you for that. I don't care that you're going through it. I'm mad at you. Right, right. But you were going to say something before I cut you off.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
It wouldn't have lasted. You know, Capricorns, we get mad, but we don't say that. No, absolutely not.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
So what I found is like one of, you know, my best friend, roommate, who you know, Angela from Princeton. She was my roommate. She's my girl. Always talked to her from law school. My friend Verna just went to her house for lunch yesterday. Just the other day, she's in D.C., you know, and then they're my mom friends because as I got married. But then even before that, that was Pam.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Was it an inquiry? Yeah. It was.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
She was more my professional friend when I was when when we were grownups and had jobs at law firms. And, you know, I could go on and on like that. And the other thing I made a point of, because one of the things that you said when Barack won and we got to the White House. You know, one of the things you were like, no new friends, that's it. And I was like, ah, you know.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
No more questions. No more questions. No more questions. No more problems. That's it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
And you need it too.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
I call that the slow ghost.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
It's not enough to have a conversation with because, you know, do you really care? So you go through the emotional energy. You just sort of, you know, let it die a natural, quiet death.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Yeah, you were kind of joking, but it was important for me in the normalcy of my life to be able to, or to keep my life normal, even in those unusual circumstances, to continue to expand my friendships. So that's a long answer to say, yeah, I do. I keep making friends and I keep up with my friends. Right.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
It's not an emotional fight? There's no, I mean, I'm just like, I know his friends. It's like, there's just, there's not a lot going on.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Like somebody's on a train.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
I just think it goes back to the level, you know, and again, this isn't true for everyone, but even just watching my brother, it's like, you know, your friends sort of hover around the surface and it's real meaningful friendships, but they're just not as deep as the friendships I see among women.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Yeah, yeah, you know. It's true. People show up, go to the funeral, you know, all of that sort of stuff.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Because that's what a crisis is for these superficial friendships. It's got to be like a thing that happens.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
And a crisis for women is just like, you know. Every day. Don't do us like that. You know. Oh, man. I'm going to get it when I get home. I'll give you an example. Because my husband doesn't fully understand it. And he's got great friends. Friends that he has since high school. I know his friends. Meaningful. But when a girlfriend comes to visit, it's usually like...
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
You've got to stay for two days because it's going to take us two days to check up, right? And we're not planning anything. We're going to sit right here and we will be here. Too many rules. No, but it's not even a rule.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
And this is what it's going to take.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
So I'll have one of my good girlfriends over, spending the night. Friends with Barack, love, love, all that. We sit on a couch. There's something in front of us, tea, crackers, moved a wine, you know. But we get up at 10 a.m. and we start the check-in. That sounds beautiful. And it begins with, first of all, girl, how you doing? You know, tell me about you now.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
And that's an hour just sort of emotionally, mentally checking in. Right. Hour two is like, OK, what about work? And tell me about because we know all about it. Remember that HR person you were going to let go? What happened with that girl? She's still there. Oh, man. What does she do next? And then you got to give an example of what she did. Now it's lunchtime. Right. On day one.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Now, Barack has come in, he's come out, and he's like, y'all still talking? He'll sit down for five minutes and be like, how are the boys? And then he gets up and leaves. You contributed nothing. You just interrupted the time. And then it's 3 o'clock, and he's like, y'all still here? And it's like, we're just now getting on the kids. And with one girlfriend, we each have two kids.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
That's four kids. That's like an hour per kid. Oh, my gosh.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's 48 hours because each kid has, you know, we know the issues and the things we've, you know, now we're at dinner on day one, right? So this is what I'm saying. And my husband is like, how, what are you all talking about all day? And it's like, we're not eating. We're just scratching the surface.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
And the flip side of my husband, right? Because he golfs. And golfing takes as long as the first session of our, you know, it takes five hours to golf. He'll golf with his buddies, come back and be like, how's X? He's good. He's like, what y'all talk about? Yeah. Nothing. And I was like, I will have heard like somebody has cancer. And I was like, how is X? Did you hear that they had cancer?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
He's like, no, we didn't talk about that. And I'm just like, what? You were golfing all day.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
And it never came up. You never asked about our God's son. For example, you're with his father. How is he? I don't know. I think he's good. It's like, what were you all doing? Sitting in a cart? Talking about, you know, and I'm like, literally nothing. You don't have no information. And that's the difference.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
What do you mean by that?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Because you'll be with each other all day looking directly away from each other at a ball. Right. Whereas when I'm with my friends, we are turned, we are physically turned in towards one another. Feet off comfort. Sometimes we're tough. You know, their tears. It's like, and that can go on for hours.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
And once you do that, then your feelings are going to be hurt when you break up or somebody's going to get mad.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Okay. I don't know how you get anything out of sitting in a chair for dinner.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
We do. Like, the crisis would require an emergency session. Oh, my God. Like, somebody's on a train. Yeah, flying. You know, there's movement. And you're not going to deal with a crisis. Yeah, I was like, we're coming. We're coming. It's a crisis. My friend's dog died.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
You're so disconnected from feelings. I don't know what they are, but I'm 60. So I don't know. But for your generation of emotions, you don't even know what fire is for. So why do we have emotion OGs? They're literal. It's like hot dog. I'm hungry. I want lunch. Fire is like.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Oh, yeah. I forgot about Eva.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Well, she lost the friend. I know.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
So, yeah, it's fair to set boundaries, but I think it starts with knowing, well, who do you want to be? How do you want to show up? You know, and the honesty first has to be within yourself. You know, I mean, I think both of us probably as Capricorns, we're probably a little more honest about who we are, what we want.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
And, you know, and even though women talk a lot, sometimes we don't, you know, we don't spend that time because we're pouring that energy out. Like, I understand you before I understand me.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Yes. Yes. And that's the nature of, you know... A lot of times women are giving or, you know, without opening themselves up because that's hard, you know. And maybe what I would say to Eva is maybe it's time for her to just, she's asking, do some personal reflection about what does she want in friendship and how does she want to show up How does she want to show up?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Because if she's a loner and is somebody who doesn't want high-maintenance friendships, she's at the age where it's okay for her to own that about herself.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Would you just make a friend? It's like, okay, let's be friends. Come to the game with me. But guys do that. That's why y'all are broken.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Right. Or, you know, be okay. Then understand that there will be times that she will get that response from friends. It's like, I thought we were this and we're not. You hurt my feelings and it's over. Right? And not take it to heart.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
if that's the kind of friend you are, because that's where you are in life, but if you don't want that to happen again, if that really does bother you, then you gotta take stock about how you need to show up for people.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
and what's what's an example of that how showing up is that just i hear i hear communication yeah yeah but understanding who your friend is and what they need okay like you know being a little more considerate about the other person and what they need and you know just like you do with a loved one you have to do in any relationship sometimes you do what they need even if it's not what you need and with friends
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
You don't have to do it every day like you do for your partner, your life partner, but you do have to be aware, you know, and show up every now and then. And it sounds like Eva may not have shown up at all for this friend. And so you gotta, you know, you're gonna have to give people what they need at some point to get what you need. It's like friendship language.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
What's your friend's friendship language? Is it time? Is it crisis management? Is it, you know, is it acts of service? Is it brutal honesty? Is it emotional vulnerability? I would say that that's my friendship language. I value people's honest emotional vulnerability. That means a lot to me.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
And how old is Eva again?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Is that what meant? Y'all scared?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
No. And it's going to whittle even more. You know, if she chooses to partner and have kids, it changes. And I think that's also what I would say to Eva. It's like, this is life. Yeah. You know, and like she said in her letter, friends aren't family. And sometimes that's good and sometimes that's not. There are seasons for friends. And who knows, in their 40s or 50s, they may reconnect.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
I don't want my feelings hurt, so I can't know you.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Well, and that's what her friend essentially did, you know. But her friend did it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
It sounds like she's in contemplation about it. About fighting for it? Or letting it go. It feels like she's let it go. It feels like she didn't fight for it. But I don't think we have that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
And also, you know, be easy on yourself. You're 32. This is how it goes. You know, people come, people go. You know, even hurts can be healed because, you know, who knows where you'll be when you're 50. You know, life is long and friendships last. have ebbs and flows.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
And in the meantime, what I would tell her is use this as an opportunity since you're bothered by it to figure out how you can grow.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Get a guy friend. And don't worry, you don't have to even know if he has a dog.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
No, for real. You'll be good, girl. You'll be all right. This is how, as you said, the cookie crumbles. Life is like this. But this has been fun. Yeah, this is so fun.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
That's because y'all don't talk about nothing. Well, we don't.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Deathbed. It's like, whoo.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Bubba, I wish I had asked him about his family.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
It's already. And then there's some tragedy. It's like, why didn't you say anything?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
We have company.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Giving it back.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Watch him. Watch him. I'm just meeting her for the first time.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Welcome to the table.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
You know, there's movement.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
I'm a Capricorn. Like me, 17. Yes, you already know. 12th over here.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Hey. Well, hi again, you. It's you again. Oh, I like your... Is that pink?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Man. Doing it with your little baby boss self.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
I wanted to find out. Go ahead. As we talk about friendships, and we will eventually read a letter from one of our listeners who's seeking advice around friendships. But something people ask me, which applies to you, is that as you've become Issa Rae, you know, how has that affected friendships for you or has it, you know, have you become more cautious?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Have you, have people come in and out of your life? Have you thought about it differently or felt like you needed to think about friendships differently given your, you know, your ascent and who you become?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Yeah, it is coral. And it's a little pleated. This is breaking out of the, you know, basketball thing. Watch out now. And that little collar. Okay, I see you, Craig Robinson.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
Yeah, I was like, we're coming. We're coming. It's a crisis. My friend's dog died.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Some Friendships Need to Go with Issa Rae
You know, you don't even need much closet space, but you're stepping out. You're stepping out. Thank you. What's new and exciting?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
A lot of people have questions they want to know, especially when they see somebody of note with a platform who, you know, by every measure looks successful. The first question is how? I think this podcast, first and foremost, gives us an opportunity to hear from folks.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
You don't want them to get a not so great grade on their project that you start stepping in and facilitating way more and not letting kids hit bumps. You're delaying their, I think, their ability to understand that their lives are theirs. And you also are sending them a subliminal message that they're not capable.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
I know, really. But our dynamic is so, in my view, unique. I think there are plenty of siblings who have great relationships. But I think when we think back to where that came from, I think about just the physical closeness that we had. I mean, we weren't wealthy. Right. And- Dad was working class. We lived in the same apartment our whole lives and had to grow into that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Mom and dad didn't do that to us.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
But I started thinking, too. I was just thinking of another story. We're flip-flopping around. But when I think about our relationship... The other thing that I liked and I try to do with my kids is we were close. We were close physically, emotionally, all of that, but we were not codependent.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And we weren't allowed to be. Right. Because you were a nurturer, you were a natural on your own, a worrier, a guardian, you took on just temperamentally extra worries and responsibilities.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Mom understood that she couldn't in any way imply to you that you were responsible for me because you would have taken that on and gone off the deep end with it. Right.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
In grammar school. And I think that's another thing sometimes parents do with siblings. Like you make one responsible for the other. Mm-hmm. Now you've got a kid trying to be a parent. Mm-hmm. And that leads to nothing but resentment on both parts. If you were trying to parent me, that would have replaced the special relationship that is my brother. Yeah. Which is something very different.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
I didn't need a father. I didn't need a mother. I needed a big brother.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And so you were fully free to be that for me. And I wasn't your burden.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Oh, yeah. We had chores very early on. Very early on. That's another thing, I think. One of the best things that our parents did for us is... Real work. Real work.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
clean the bathroom?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
We alternated.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Okay, because I loved cleaning the bathroom.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Oh, that's right, yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Yeah, you had to, yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Ooh, nothing like pine salt.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
That's it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
That's it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
You know, an appropriate partner.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And as a result, you and me, we were physically close growing up.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Of course, that was our life growing up. We shared the same room until you went to high school, right?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Oh, yeah, that's right.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Well, let's first just recall how small the apartment we lived in. It seemed like it was huge, but it was essentially two bedrooms. Right?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Well, because it was also interesting because I could see that something was going on, that there was a disconnect because we were close. I mean, we had our periods in life where we would come together, be apart. Life would bring us together. We wound up going to the same college. We didn't go to the same high school because... You went to an all-boys school and I went to a magnet high school.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
It wasn't. You probably would have gone, but it was a brand new school. And because you were a student athlete, you needed a good solid basketball program and they hadn't developed it at Whitney Young. So we weren't in the same high school. And that was a good thing because we had times in our lives when we were in the same school, sort of in the same orbit, and then we weren't.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And then I followed you to Princeton, where you were two years ahead of me and big man on campus there too, because he was all Ivy on the basketball team and all this sort of stuff. So everybody knew Craig. I was always Craig Robinson's little sister. I'm really enjoying the payback of Craig Robinson now being Michelle Obama's brother.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Well, that little offshoot bedroom that mom and dad stayed in, you would consider that a bedroom.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Wow. But I grew up as Craig's little sister. It's like, oh, you Craig's little sister. I was like, yeah, yeah. But I do other things too.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Much more fun. But even in those moments when we were in the same orbit, we were close. But again, in the same way, not overly dependent. We had our own friends. We had, you know, you'd know if I was dating somebody. Because that was the other thing. Dating like big men on campus in college. I think you scared off a lot of potential.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Yes, I did. I think people didn't want to piss off Craig.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Your presence.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And then you graduate, then you go off and you play basketball. You have a whole nother experience. You move to Manchester, England and play in Europe for a couple of years. And so you're coming and going, and then you get married. And I was very close with you and your first wife. We were not inseparable, but it was a close family. We did things together. And then...
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Avery was born and we were always right there. We were very tight knit family. And then I met Barack and, you know, then we got married and we bought a condo right down the street from your condo.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Three buildings down in Hyde Park in Chicago. So that was a period when we were around each other a lot. And when you say, See your brother and you think his or your sibling or somebody you care about and you think everything is good, you know, and you're rooting for them.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And then you learn that things are falling apart because you think, I thought I saw some things that were red flags, but I would always be like, how you doing? And your reply would be, we're great. We're good.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Fine. And after that, once it all unraveled, I said, your definition of fine. I was like, don't ever tell me that you're good because I'm not going to trust that. Because it would have been like, even though you think I wouldn't have been able to handle it, I would have gotten myself together to give you sound advice and be able to stay neutral. But I felt like,
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
The dude I depend on the most, who I could tell anything, didn't feel like he could come to me when he was dealing with something really hard in his life, which is his marriage falling apart.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Huh. Okay. All right. So that's how small it was. That's how small it was, yes. We had to turn it into something else. But the biggest room was always ours. Yes. And we were little, little, like baby littles.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
You know, we're going to be taking, you know, questions from listeners who are going through some things and just need a little advice. They want to hear from people in conversations. And folks are looking for a place where they can just... They can hear stories, you know? I mean, what I realize is like by sharing some of these stories, you know, it always taps into something from somebody else.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Oh, yes. You needed help.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Because he was just, he was on the court and he hadn't learned like some basic moves. So it's like, dude, your first dance, you got to. So we put on the record player and I gave you a couple moves that you are still doing to this day.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
That's all you got. It's good though.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
It's basically saying, I'm going to go from being a millionaire to working for nothing, which seemed to be our overall MO, both you and me. But yeah, that was a big leap to walk away from a very secure, lucrative career and pursue something that you love.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
The twin beds were head to head with like an end table in between. Right.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Because dad had passed by then.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
It's like he's having a crisis.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
But even in that, I don't think you realize that you gave me the courage to do the same thing eventually because watching you make some major changes in your life and, you know, walk away from what people said you were supposed to do rather than looking internally and really figuring out who you were.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
That mom made.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
I was going through the same thing because I was working at a corporate law firm, you know, making great money. You know, you imagine our parents, mom, working class people. I mean, we were earning more than both of our parents' salaries combined starting out in our first, second years, you know.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
She sewed them. They were these big, bold stripes. And the twin beds were up against the wall. And she had the concept of creating these little padding boards.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
really making the most of this amazing education that our parents helped us acquire, doing what we were supposed to do, going to the best schools and getting the corporate jobs and owning the cars. I had a Saab, you had that red Porsche. I mean, we were the Black successful people, and so were all the people that we were surrounded by. But no one told us that
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
some of those pursuits could be soul-sucking. Because first of all, our parents didn't know. It's like, you're a lawyer, a corporate lawyer, that's great. You're in finance and that's what all the fat cats want to do. But it was interesting how both of us entered those careers, were successful, but something was missing. And when I saw you make that leap with
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
kids and alimony and all the responsibility. It made me stop and think about who I wanted to be and whether I was pursuing what I thought I was supposed to pursue or whether I was being true to what I cared about.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And Barack came into the picture and he was, as I call a swerver, never really even thought about the need to pursue some high-powered career, even though he was Harvard educated, blah, blah, blah. It was all about what were we giving back? What were we doing?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
So you help me make that leap. And it's a scary leap to walk away with debt because we still have student loan debt. And walk away from guaranteed money and basically start over in brand new careers. But that's the beauty of having a big brother who's paving the way. Yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
You know, she was so crafty, so she created these foam pads that she hung along the side to make them decorative, but to also provide us with a little cushion against the wall, which we thought was so cool.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Although you look good. I do. I do. I do.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Well, I couldn't have gotten through eight years in the White House without my big brother. That's another sort of unusual aspect to our lives, our relationship was this whole, you know, being married to the president of the United States thing that none of us kind of banked on. I mean, we knew Barack was smart and, you know, ambitious, but, you know, I think...
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
But you talked me into supporting his run.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And he was smart enough to know that he needed to come to you and sell you on the idea. So tell folks, what did he say and what you said to me? So... Because I was definitely like, nope, no way. This is crazy. We've done enough crazy stuff.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Yeah, I sort of remember that, yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Maybe so, but yeah, I do remember. You remember that? You guys would tell me I'd fall out of bed, start crying, get put back in the bed, and I wouldn't remember anything about it. You wouldn't remember any of it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And that meant that you put your money where your mouth was. I mean, over the course of the campaign, the many campaigns, our time in the White House. I could count on you to be there when I needed you. I mean, you campaigned with us. You campaigned for us.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
If anything got tight, if I was feeling a certain way, my team, especially Mel, my chief of staff who's been with me forever, she knew who to call. Melissa loves you more than I do. It's like a lot of times Melissa will be like, I need Greg. And she'd call you.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And it was always a breath of fresh air. I mean, there's just something about having your foundation in check. You know, like being able to touch base with home in the middle of something hard and scary and uncertain. And you did that. And did that for the girls. Because they needed their uncle and their cousins and...
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And I wanted them, Avery and Leslie, sadly, Austin and Aaron were so young, poor things. They were there, but they don't remember any of it. They're like, why didn't we go to the White House? It's like, you were there. Dude, you were there. You were just four.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Every year, we'd have the turkey pardoning. And that was the one thing that the girls would do at Barack was go stand next to him when he pardoned this turkey. And it was cute when they were little. But as they got older, you could see on their faces and the shots of just them thinking, just poke my eyes out. Just right now. Just get me out of here. I'm standing with my father.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
I didn't snore. Now you're making stuff up.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
telling these stupid jokes, you know, next to a turkey. So by the time we got to the last year, the last turkey pardoning, they were done. They were just like, I'm out. I'm not going. So in subs, Austin and Aaron, who were, how old were they at the time?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Perfect turkey pardoning age. Like they were like, call me up. I'm in, coach. I'm ready. I'm ready to stand next to Uncle Barack. And they loved his stupid jokes. They loved his jokes. He felt like a new man. He's like, I got a new crew in. They were fascinated. While their daughters were like, you are sad, Dad. You know, Austin and Aaron came in.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
So they remember that because that was like the last chance when they started having memories.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Partition wall.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Yeah, yeah. I mean, that was some poverty crafting, right? That's like Martha Stewart on a budget. But that wall was just, we were still sleeping head to head, but just on the other side of a wall. And it was special to me because that's, I feel like that's where our real relationship began. Yeah. Because it's like we would talk for hours.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
You know, post-White House and writing the books and doing book tours, you know, speaking at leadership conferences, things you do as a coach, you realize that what we have... Even in our lack of resources in our household growing up, we had people who would share their opinions, give us advice. We had mentors, and we were used to mentoring and being mentored.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And I realize that a lot of people don't have that. They don't have a safe place to come sometimes where they feel comfortable being vulnerable and asking hard questions. Or they don't have people in their lives they trust anymore. They are lone wolves, or maybe they have contentious relationships where they're estranged from the people they could rely on.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
So I can only access so many people through books or tours or at limited leadership conferences. So I think this podcast, first and foremost, gives us an opportunity to hear from folks. We're going to be taking questions from listeners who are going through some things and just need a little advice. They want to hear from people in conversations. And
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And folks are looking for a place where they can just, they can hear stories, you know? I mean, what I realize is like by sharing some of these stories, you know, it always taps into something from somebody else. People, you know, they want to hear some honest kind of conversation about how people are working it through. And We don't have all the answers, you know?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
I mean, this show isn't about us being experts at anything other than the lives that we've lived. But what we do have are a lot of opinions.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
In my opinion, IMO. And what better person to do this with than my big brother who, you know, I know how you think. I know why you think it. um you were funny as all get out i trust you implicitly
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
But I am also excited that we're going to involve other people around our table, that we've got friends and other leaders out there and people we've met over the scope of our lifetimes who have their own podcast or living their own lives who are going to come in and engage because we have our opinions, but so do a lot of other people. And I hope the show encourages people to
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Have conversations about what they're afraid about. Don't do what, you know, the one time you didn't lean on me, you know.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
You know, at a time when you needed it because you were afraid of what I would think or what, you know. We want to encourage the listeners. That's what we need in this time. We need kitchen tables where we can just sit down and share opinions, share experiences. That's where the wisdom comes from, you know. Yeah. So I'm excited to be engaged in some of those conversations with you.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
How are you thinking about this?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And hopefully it'll be fun.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
We'd go to bed, we're supposed to be asleep, and we'd stay up all night just talking through that little partition.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
We sure do. We sure do. Well, it's going to be a joy to have an excuse to hang with my big brother.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
For sure. Lifelong learners. We hope to learn from our guests. We hope to learn from our listeners. And I can't wait until we start getting feedback from people to hear what's missing. What more can we talk about? What areas can we touch on? But again, we are not the experts. This is just our opinion and everybody's got one. And it's important.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
You know, it's important to have an opinion in life and put it out there. So I'm excited.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Thank you for coming on this journey with me, Quag.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
But it was really sweet because I remember being able to talk to you even at that young age about anything, what happened during the day, you know, the little drama and the outside world, you know, just... And just laughing all night long about nothing, making up silly games. It started that young.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Growing up, our house, yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Palatial Airbnb.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Who would have thought we'd be able to be in a snazzy place like this?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Well, when I think about what we're talking about now, our relationship as brother and sister, why we're so excited about doing this podcast, not because we love to talk and we got lots of opinions, but especially since mom passed, this is a joint project that you and me have. And I think it's the first time we've actually worked together and helping people to understand
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Where does that foundation come from where you and I feel so comfortable with each other and we have our whole lives where we can not only work together, but share what has helped to make us close? Right. I think about... Not just our bedroom space in that little bitty first apartment on Euclid Avenue, but I think about the kitchen table because the kitchen was the other gathering place.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
People... You know, they want to hear some honest kind of conversation about how people are working it through. And we don't have all the answers, you know. I mean, this show isn't about us being experts at anything other than the lives that we've lived. But what we do have are a lot of opinions.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And in our house, we as young people with our parents, what they did for us was they invited us to sit with them at the table and talk.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And I think very early on, because our parents had the wisdom to understand how wise kids could be, and how important their voices were, and how much fun it was to not just have kids just seen and not heard. In our household, our parents wanted to not just see us, but they wanted to hear us. They wanted to hear our ideas. They wanted to hear our opinions.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
I think that our parents offered us both the first table where we gained confidence in our voices, where we felt like who we were, what we thought, how we felt was important. And not because it was important to the rest of the world, but it was important to them. And I think that's... That's a piece of wisdom in terms of parenting that I try to share, I try to implement in my own life.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
But our parents wanted to hear from us. They loved our thoughts and ideas, and they encouraged us to say what was on our mind, do it respectfully for sure. But that, you know, a lot of kids don't grow up like that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Yeah, yeah. She was never afraid to tell us when she wasn't sure.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
You're not supposed to know everything.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And a lot of parents think that a part of being the parent is to be the one with all the knowledge, with all the answers. And because our parents didn't do that, it also gave us permission and taught us that... Like in life, you are in a learning process all the time.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And it's okay to be wrong. And it's okay to stumble. Mom and dad were also very good talking to us, not just about their successes, but about their failures. What they did wrong, what they got wrong in life. And I see that time and time again. Parents feel like they need a shield of all knowingness. in order for their kids to respect them or in order to keep them safe.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
It's like, let me not share with you how I messed up a few times. And I never felt the pressure of their judgment or their expectation in our lives.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
That was a Robinson term. Who are these so-and-sos?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Yes.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Is that a name? So-and-so was always a little trifling.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
That's the only, you know, way you were going to ruin your life is following him behind so-and-so.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And that was your rationale?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Not thinking for yourself.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Well, you also make me think that another thing that I think mom and dad was so wise about was because in order for them to push us to use our own judgment, they empowered us to make decisions and be responsible very early in life. And that meant... Think for yourself. But in order to do that, they had to sort of hand us our lives pretty young.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And I'm not saying that they went off to work and left us alone, but I've said this before. Very early on, mom was like, you're going to kindergarten now. Here's an alarm clock. Here's how to set it. set it, get yourself up. Because as she said, you're going to school for you, not for me. She's like, I had my education.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And I don't believe that if you care about yours, that you need your mom to be waking you up every morning. So from the time we started kindergarten, now she was up. It wasn't like she was sleeping in. She was just listening to hear us
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Get ourselves up. Start getting dressed. When we got a little older, even start our own breakfast. And in the era of helicopter parenting, where people are waking up their kids, even calling them from college, mom and dad were the opposite of that. And in doing so, they were telling us, I trust you. Even at five or seven, you have the capability of taking care of yourself.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
And you know I love you, but I got to get you ready for the life you're going to have as an adult. And that means that if you can't even wake yourself up and get yourself to kindergarten... You know, that's how mom and dad would think about it. It's like, so they showed us that we were capable. And guess what happened? We rose to that expectation.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
I was like, I, probably to this day, I don't do late expectations.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Not in the Robinson household. You know, we don't do... On time is late. On time is late. Early is on time. Early is on time. That's Frasier Robinson.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Because our dad had a disability, yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
He'd keep pushing the time of departure for a family outing. It's like, well, we're going to leave at three. And he'd sit in there at two going, well, where is everybody? And it's like, you said three.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Well, Barack, you know, he had to adjust to what on time was for me.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Some people react like, you're doing a podcast with your brother?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
Well, but, you know, I've got this husband who's like, when it's time to leave, it's three o'clock, he's getting up and going to the bathroom. And I was like, dude, dude, like three o'clock departure means you've done all that. It's like, don't start looking for your glasses at the three o'clock departure. But he's improved over 30 years of marriage. But that was a-
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
You Should Start a Podcast with Your Sibling with Michelle and Craig
You know, that was, you must adjust. And Malia and Sasha, if they're doing anything with me, they are early. So they've learned how to snap to it. But that was, you know, those kind of lessons from parents. When you think you're helping your kid, you know, because you're worried about them failing, you don't want them to be late.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
So when I think of Adrian's question, I think he's got a narrow way of thinking about what a happy life can and should look like. And so my first thing for Adrian is to think about why does he think that? Why does he think his choices are either or? That I can either have a family or I can have a career. Or if I'm going to have a family, then I have to have a certain set of things.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
I think a lot of young people, a lot of people in general, because of their narrow view of what's possible, they find themselves limiting what life could look like. And I always challenge young people now to first think about your why. You know, don't think about the what. Don't worry about numbers and titles because you can have all that. And I've seen people have it all.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
And they're still not happy. He could have a big, high-paying job, a great career. Maybe he decides to get married, have kids, but then he'll have no time for them. And then he'll be disgruntled about that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Sounds familiar. Stop checking boxes, first of all. And start thinking a little bit bigger about what a happy life can look like.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
I'm just so happy for Avery. It was really neat. Avery and Emily.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Another Mrs. Robinson. How about that? That's strange. That is. How does it feel having your first child married?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
I think it's incumbent upon us as adults and people with platforms to talk a lot about the fail, right? Just to own up to the fact that, as you said, Jay, life is full of getting a whole lot of stuff wrong. We will get more things wrong than we will get right. And we've all done it. And we're all okay in the end. I have had four or five different careers. I would want Adrian to understand.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
It's like few people pick a career at the age of 10 or 12 or 15 or 21 and stick with it forever. I want to know. Why aren't you dating? I mean, what are you doing? You know, you're almost 40 years old. Is that all you're doing is working? And how are you going to ready yourself for a partner?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Do you think that you're, you know, building a business is the only thing that's going to be required of finding a good mate?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
I married one.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
No, that was a good alley-oop. In basketball, you just point.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
No faith, no faith.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Mm-hmm. And there's a clear definition of what a good catch is.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
I mean, I think you make a good point. And I think we can't generalize across the board for women. And I think women are also confused about what they want and what they should be looking for in a mate. I have a lot of friends who will ding a guy because, you know, he doesn't have a college degree or So there are a lot of people who aren't looking deep enough.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
They aren't thinking broadly enough about what makes for a good partner. And instead, we all just look at the superficial things. The first question we ask if we're on a blind date, so tell me, what do you do? You know, just starting with that question, you know, arguably could put somebody on the defensive because what are you looking for? Why is it the first place that we start?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Are we trying to get some idea of how much money they make? And that definitely happens. And I think on the flip side with men, sometimes I think they're maybe a little bit too visual. I think there are a lot of women who are open to a lot of different kind of men and a lot of different kind of lifestyles. Women want a partner. They want to feel loved. They want to feel desired.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
They want to feel chosen. And I think a lot of women, I would tell Adrienne, if you're just straightforward with who you are, you're going to find a mate. You're going to find somebody that wants to go on that journey with you and will be excited about it. And it might make taking the risks a little easier because you're not doing them alone. I left my corporate firm when I met Barack.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
And I had somebody who was like, I got your back. The risk you think you're taking, they're not that crazy. And I'm here to help you. That's when I said, I would rather have that in a partner than a higher income. I'd rather have somebody who was ready to do some hard things with me. But that meant I also had to be ready to do some hard things with him. I just think
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
We shouldn't assume, you know, you just got to kind of get out there and meet people and come to people with your truth and then let them decide. But I feel like Adrian may be just too afraid. He's making some assumptions without even testing the waters, that there is a partner out there for him that will embrace everything that he wants to be.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
And it could make the ride a lot more fun and easy than it would be doing it alone. So I don't know if that answers your question.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. Well, you did a good job, dude. Thanks. Yeah. Thank you. Way to go. Way to go.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
We do. Good segue. Way to go.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Okay, okay.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Is that what it's called?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
We're old. No longer placed in the wild.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
But the thing, you know, I want Adrian to think about the power of building something with someone. You know, because I also worry that, you know, Adrian's on this path. He's going to have the perfect everything, will have bought the house. And he might get suspicious of bringing someone into that who hasn't been part of the climb. You know, I...
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
I think in my marriage, we're stronger because we've been through a hard climb together. I mean, we've seen it all. I loved my husband way before there was any idea he might be president of the United States. In fact, if I thought that, I probably wouldn't have married him. But the beauty of just trudging through some hard stuff together, you know, it can bind you in a unique way.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Yeah, passion versus family versus financial. Financial, yeah, yeah. It's something that we've all dealt with, but it's a good question to get us started.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
I don't want Adrian to rob himself of having a good partner along that journey because he could achieve all that, meet some woman, And then he'll wonder, well, do you love me just because I've got the house and the nice job? I mean, so back to the point of there isn't really one right answer.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
I mean, he could do all of that and then grow suspicious of somebody who's just glomming on, you know, rather than knowing that somebody is marrying him for him.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Thank you. Thank you.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
You can learn a little something here.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Jay, I'm just grateful that you're here. After our conversation, I don't know if you remember, but I was like, I could talk to you forever.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
He's trying to figure it all out on his own. And I would want Adrian to spend some time not just thinking about the achievements, but to think about the kind of life he wants. And not in terms of just job title, but how do you want to feel about your day? Is it going to be enough for you to have a big bank account and work all hours and never see or have time for the people that you love?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
If you have kids, do you want to spend a lot of time with them? Would that bring you joy? Do you want to go to their games? Is that something that you care about? I would want Adrian, and I think I would want all men, to do a little more of that soft soul-searching, that it's okay to... identify and nurture those real true feelings. It's like, who are you?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
And it's okay if you're not a hard-driving competitive mogul. That's okay. We don't need all of that in the world. In fact, I think we have too many men striving for one kind of leadership. We need a broader cross-section of men in the world. So who are you, Adrian, deep down? And and then work to build the life based on that truth. And that may require a little counseling.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
It's definitely going to require him to talk to more people, to find some community, his kitchen table, and to actually have conversations, people who know him and can say, Adrian, man, you're really not that dude. People who can look you in the eye and say, like I did with my brother, you really love coaching, and you'd be a great coach. So go coach. We got your back.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
But if he never taps into that and doesn't learn how to share some of this agita, You know, he'll be struggling alone for a long time.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Anything else to add to your... Just to emphasize that a happy life looks very different than what we think it looks like. Once I stopped checking boxes and started thinking about who I wanted to be in the world, not what I wanted to be, not only that... I realize that there's so many ways to be happy. I mean, maybe Adrian will decide that he doesn't want to get married at all.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
He may decide to have a partner and not have kids. He may fall in love with a partner who doesn't believe in marriage. I mean, life be lifin'. That's the other saying I like that my kids say. Just be lifin'. And be open to it. There is no perfect way to be. Every way of being is good.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
And if you're showing up in the world as a good human, kind, trying to do the right thing, that's what a good life is as far as I'm concerned.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
And you had your second set of kids. How old were you? Just to...
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
48.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
That's our next segment. We're going to call Amy. We're very grateful.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
I'm just picturing 10-year-old Jay sitting down between mom and dad. Okay, now tell me what you're thinking here and what did you mean? But kids do find themselves with the level of sort of precocious empathy. Oftentimes kids do become the mediators in the family and that you were 10 years old doing that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
And yeah, that's why I wanted your heat here. The reason we're doing these conversations is to talk, you know, to talk through things with people, to talk through things in person, you know, with us here, hopefully shedding some light. giving people tools and some kind of direction because everyone is looking just for a little bit of direction. It's like, how did you get here?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
How did you not mess that up? And as you know, we don't have the answers, but oftentimes it's just the conversation that people find helpful.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
This episode is brought to you by Indeed and Pinesol.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Sounds like a familiar dilemma. And the first thing I think about is how I wasn't a risk taker. I think because of the stability that we had in our family, I thought that that was the way you led a life, that things were linear. If you did the right things, if you checked certain boxes, that you were winning in life. And as a result, I think my view of what life could be was way too narrow.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Hi, you.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
But I was off on that path, not really thinking about anything but checking the boxes. So I did what I was supposed to do. I went to grammar school, got great grades, went to the best high school I could go to, got great grades, applied to an Ivy League school, got in, did well. Never asking myself, why? What do I care about? After graduating from Princeton, went to Harvard. Why?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Because I got in. And I thought, well, maybe I want to be a lawyer. But it seems like it's a very linear thing. And it wasn't until I was practicing law that life hit me in a certain way. And I started to think about my why. And that sort of made me stop and think, wow, I've been kind of stuck on this path that isn't even mine.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Thinking that what was important was a good job, the right salary, the right school, that there were like these answers and none of it had to do with happiness.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Welcome to one of my favorite places to be. I know it is. Martha's Vineyard.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do. It was working on the line at a book bindery. Yes. I got that job. My high school boyfriend at the time, his mom worked at the bindery and got us summer jobs. And it was the kind of job where whatever you did, that one thing, you did it. 10,000 times.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
I remember it was like, because they made binders for school and things like that, like the paper binders and you'd have the three hole punch and you'd have to punch the metal thing that would split the papers open. I would be responsible for putting the metal thing in the hole and then I would hand it to my boyfriend who would put it in the machine and it would stamp it
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
You know, I keep telling you all that. This is a great place for the boys at this age. I know you all are busy with basketball and all the things, but... Last time they were here, they had a ball.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Working at Soldiers Field where the Bears played.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
So you were actually handling food.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
All I remember is that you were excited because you got to drive.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Before you had a license.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Pursue What You Love Before You Pursue Love with Jay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. We're lucky. I mean, I can actually walk. I can get on a bike and ride for hours. I can walk on my own. You can see the ocean. The towns are just very quaint. So I'm glad you're here.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Introducing IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
I am Michelle.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Introducing IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
We are so excited for you to listen to our brand new podcast. It's called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Together, Craig and I are going to take your questions about the challenges you're grappling with in life.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Introducing IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Whether you're navigating the gray areas of marriage and raising kids or dealing with a little friend drama or even figuring out how to put yourself out there in the dating world.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Introducing IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
And Craig here is my big brother.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Introducing IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
But we do have plenty of opinions.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Introducing IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
on IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Because if anybody had a reason to complain would be my father, who was a black man growing up in Chicago, raised in Chicago, desegregation, who was an intelligent man with ability to do art but couldn't live up to his promise.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
I mean, there were a whole lot of reasons for our father to be upset and angry and not happy and to feel disappointed, to feel sorry for himself, but he was the exact opposite. And so that's what I think about when times get hard. It's like, look, my dad would push through it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Wish we had this when we were here.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Well, hey, professor. Hey, Michelle. Thank you for being on here.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
This is a little intimate chat. So how did you come to teach the course? I know you've answered this question a million times before, but what led you to understand that young people today need a course on how to be happy?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And my big brother introduced me. And we were on stage together.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
It was quite an honor. But in his introduction, when you're on stage and you're doing a big speech, you have teleprompters. So you have a prompter in the front, have a prompter on the left, prompter on the right, because you're reading from the prompter because it's timed. You've got to hit it right. It's national. It's live.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
That's an amen from everybody in this room, right? Everybody's feeling like that a bit. Laura, you wanna start by taking a stab at an answer?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
The other thing that I want to get your take on, Laurie, is what's happened to the bar on happiness? Because it really feels like these days that the expectation of young people are so high, and some of that I think is our fault as parents. You know, when we were growing up, I mean, life was a lot... Simpler.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
You know, I mean, just to give you an example of excitement in our house was getting pizza on report card day if we got good grades. You know, I mean, at Christmas time, we could ask for three gifts. That was it. You know, go through the Sears Robux wish book. You could pick three things out. And that was it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Oh, yeah. It's a catalog. It's a store, first of all. Sears and Rope. That was the only store you'd go to. You'd get your car tuned up in a washing machine and your school clothes all in one place. And they had a catalog. And you know what a catalog is, young people? It's a thing you look through for items and you pick it out. Well, that came out each year. And that's where all the toys were.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
So, you know, our parents just, you know, they were happy that we got good grades. You know, I can tell you, did our parents push us to go to Princeton? No, they were just like, go do something with your life as long as you're a good person. But when I think of young people today, the standard for happiness is like, Gone through the roof.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Here we go. favorite child. He memorized everything. Well, my speech was a little longer, a little more impactful. So I needed the teleprompter, right? So he does this beautiful introduction of me. It's all action-packed. And he says, and ladies and gentlemen, the next first lady of the United States, Michelle Obama. And I come on stage and they're cheering. And we do this greet
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
I mean, don't just go to college, but there are like seven colleges you can go to or it doesn't matter. Or, you know, people, you look on House Hunters and everybody's looking for, you know, marble counters and tray ceilings and, you know, a man cave and...
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
There's a certain car, and you're not supposed to be successful, but you're also supposed to be famous because social media tells you that that's what it means to be happy. So I guess that's a long way of asking, is some of this not just the world? Because the world's been bad, and it's been worse than it is right now.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
But people, young people are more unhappy than I think we ever were with a lot less.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
That's different from being complacent because I think we were taught that you don't need everything and you're not entitled to everything. We were taught not even entitled to happiness.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Our parents didn't think they were responsible for our happiness. For anybody in our generation, you imagine a parent who worried about whether your child was happy. We didn't come from that. It was like, you're not happy. Get over it. Read a book. Get out of my face. Move along. Go outside. You know. And our generation of parents and me, we lose sleep if a little person is sad today.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And it's like sadness and anxiety, that's all a part of life. But as we parent our children, sometimes I think we've made them a little less resilient. And again, that's not to say that people aren't dealing with real anxiety and mental health issues. But I think one of the things I try to think about as a parent
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And I think our parents did to us, they tried to prepare us for what the world was going to be, which was oftentimes disappointing, most of the time hard. And there would be deep anxiety that you'd have to get through at all times. So they gave us those tools. Much earlier than I think some parents today are willing to let their kids go through some of those tough feelings.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
So then they get out in the real world and they're confronted with a whole lot of emotions that nobody ever told them was coming.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
in front of the prompter where I think that my big brother is gonna lean down and give me a hug and say, you got this girl, I love you, I'm so proud of you. So I go out there and we're on national TV and do you remember what you said to me?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Yeah. And you talk about that transference, the ability for us to export our bad energy onto other people. And we naturally, as humans, we pick up those cues. Can you talk a little bit more about that transference?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
You leaned down to my ear and you said, left prompter out. And he walked off.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
It's great to be here. Great to be with you. And we are just so grateful that Rivian is a sponsor, not just because you're a cool guy, but the cars are amazing. So I was just like... Rivian is one of our sponsors. Are we going to get to drive one? And lo and behold, we did. You guys have outfitted us with cars. Thank you.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
You know, we had a wonderful conversation here at South by Southwest about hope. Yeah. Because a lot of people are feeling a little hopeless these days. And I think when I hear your story about being a 10-year-old Starting out as a 10 year old with enough of a dream and you're here now with a line of amazing cars that are environmentally responsible, that are creating jobs all over the country.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And it's a beautiful product. I think it reminds us that even when things are dark, if we invest in our kids and believe in their dreams and give them the space to create, you know, that next generation, it's going to come up with the answers that we need.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
But, you know, I mean.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
So now I'm thinking, what was he talking about? I'm waving, trying to play it off, and I'm walking up to the stand. And what he meant was the left prompter was out. And I was like, okay, good looking out. But anyway, that was my brother looking out. But that was the last time we were on stage together.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Yes.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Yeah. Well, congratulations on everything you've accomplished. And thank you so much for believing in our vision, the types of conversations that we can have to help spark that promise in the generations to come.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
People always ask me and Barack, how did we stay hopeful in not just the eight years that we were in the White House, but beyond? Because let me tell you, there was a lot of negative energy floating our way. A lot of rumors, a lot of gossip, a lot of, you know, my husband wasn't born in this country, we didn't care about, we weren't patriotic. He didn't get into Harvard.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
I don't know if you all remember. I certainly do.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
He wore a tan suit once. A level of scandal that occurred. Through it all, what kept us sane, and we tried to instill this in our daughters, is you cannot live through social media. I don't think I have ever once looked at a comment section, period. and at all ever.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And I know it's difficult for this generation, but I would implore young people to stay, don't let that negative energy enter into your space. These are people who don't know you. A lot of this stuff is made up and it does not feed you. And I mean, you can't do it. And we never do. Now, that doesn't mean you don't stay informed, but staying informed has nothing to do with the comments section.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
It has everything to do with the content of the stories that you take in. And I think we cannot get so trapped by social media that we feel so caught up into the one way we get information. We've got to broaden our spectrum. And we have to get off the phone, which is another thing. And I would love for you to talk a bit about that as a tool.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
I know you've got a lot of tools, but there are a lot of people here of all ages who are trapped by their phones. And when you talk about us being disconnected and not talking to each other, I am not out in the world like a normal person anymore, but when I am, People don't even recognize me. You know why? Because they're on their phones. Nobody is looking at each other.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
I know this is our first live show. Okay, y'all.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
I could walk right past somebody with a hat on, you know, and I'm just a black woman in a cap. I don't know about that. No, I've done it.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
I have done it. I fly commercial. I am out there with the people, and folks are not paying attention.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
So...
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
How's she doing? They okay? Anyway.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
I'm going to get a mute button for her. I'm just kidding.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Now, we're really excited. We've got a lot of great partnerships, and Rivian has been top of the heap, and we're going to be doing something with them after this. So we'll be able to talk to RJ, the head of that joint. So we're excited to be here.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And as somebody who has seen all kinds of power at work, I've been at some of the most powerful tables. One of the things I remind people of is, yes, there is large power. There are a handful of people in the world who can do a few things that can impact so many. But the truth is that the small power that each of us has to do something right in front of us, if we're all doing that,
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
outweighs anything that some big leader somewhere can do. I mean, if you just think about, yeah. Just think about, as our parents did, Marion and Frazier Robinson, who didn't go to college. Mother stayed at home. Father was a city worker. And let me just stop and give a big shout-out to city and federal workers, people who... are the lifeblood of this country.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Also, those jobs help to create an entire middle class of people like our fathers, our father, our parents, and they do the lion's share of the work in this country. If we're gonna start asking who's doing what, from my experience,
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
The folks who are working on the ground and picking up our garbage and making sure that our schools run and that our air is clean and that our flights stay up in the air, that those people are the true heart and blood of this country. Thank you. But that power is what changes things. Those parents, with the little bit that they were able to do with their power, raised two of us.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Well, what we've been doing, we're going to chat a little bit so you guys will get a sense of our dynamic and sort of some of the lessons we learned growing up. And some of this podcast was started because, you know, this last year was pretty interesting. I won't say completely rough, but we had some... We lost our mom this year. For those of you who don't know, Marion Robinson.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And if you just think that if everybody on this planet was valued and had an opportunity to have a job and to take care of their kids and to raise them with some level of honesty and kindness and with humanity and taught them to love everybody and to be inclusive, just imagine if everybody did that little thing right in their plate.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
If you're going to have some kids, if you can have the courage and the power to exercise that small thing of raising them with some truth and some honesty, just imagine where we would be right now as a country. Imagine what our leadership would look like and how we would ask them to speak and to act and to model. That is the beauty of small power.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
So as James thinks about what to do, I hope that retreating into hopelessness is not on the list. Because, shoot, if my dad didn't, this is how I feel, if my father, Frazier Robinson, didn't retreat with all that he could have retreated from, in times a lot tougher than this, because he wanted to lay a foundation for us, then we have that obligation, all of us, to do the same thing.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
We can't afford to be hopeless, I would say.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And that's also a way, I'm sorry, Craig, for people to use their social media, you know? you know, it's there for a reason, there's power in it, you know, but we have to resist the notion to use it to harp on each other, to diss and to, you know, spread gossip and to, you know, I mean, each of us in our worlds can encourage the people within it to use the tool
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
for good you know it is a choice that we can make right now everybody in this room everybody listening uh to this podcast who hears us you can make a choice to either you know use these tools for good or use them for evil or to use them to appease your frustration because remember as lori said we pass on that energy You know, we're passing it on.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Our anger, our rage, you know, is one of the reasons why, you know, when our household, we use the motto, going high is important because going high is the model, especially if you have a platform like we did for eight years. Yeah, it's easy to get on a big platform and rile people up and to say hateful things and to make fun of people. Of course, anybody could do that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Any leader can do that, right? That's the easiest way to lead because you're sort of tapping into your easiest basis, you know, core. And you lash out. You share that anger. The strength and the power comes is when you can harness that And understand that if you have a platform, if you're going to be on social media, that you now have an obligation not to spread hate and bitterness and anger.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And if...
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And as a result... Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Our mom. She and our dad were some amazing people, and I think as a result of that loss, Craig and I... You know, it brought us even closer together. We were already close, but... I don't know about you, but there's just something about losing what was our last parent.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And I know, Craig, you're a coach. You've coached. You've mentored. I know that mentoring isn't just about giving. It's about what you get in return. Do you want to talk about that?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Well, hey, South by Southwest.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And any time in your life when you lose a parent, it's tough, but you think you're going to be ready for it as an adult. But I think part of losing mom, it kind of puts us in the position where we're the wise ones in the family. Hard to believe, huh?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Thank you. And I just want to throw a mom hat kind of piece on there for James is that, you know, your physical health is directly tied to your emotional status. And I know young people, you aren't at the point where you believe what we've been telling you that you got to get sleep. You really do. It absolutely matters. You know, why are older people...
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
but probably a little bit happier because I take a nap and I go, I will go to bed and I love nothing more than going to bed early. Now, if you're in your twenties, that sounds really crazy, but you know, it absolutely matters. And what you eat and whether you move your body, you know, we've got Lori here because like there is real evidence. We still live in a world where science matters.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Still, please, please. As we... As we wonder what is wrong and how we fix it, we can't ignore the fact that there are really smart people who have done really important research to come up with the whys and to give us answers. So this stuff actually matters. And when you're 60 plus, it all makes sense.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
I know. I mean, I talk to Malia and Sasha about this all the time as they are becoming adults. I know Malia always says, well, when do you actually feel like an adult? And I was like, never, not really, ever. Do you feel like you know what you're doing? So I said, the fact that you're in your 20s and you feel like you are clueless, it's like you're right on schedule.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And taking care of yourself, getting outside, making sure you get a little bit of fresh air, how you move your body, what you put in it matters. So if you're young and you don't feel it yet, because when you're our age, you will feel it. If you start some of those habits now, it doesn't change the world for sure. Voting still matters.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
But in the meantime, you know, not partying every night of the week and thinking that you're going to wake up in a good mood, that helps too.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And one more thing, one more thing, one more thing, you know, for young people out there, I just encourage us all to sort of right size our happiness meter, you know, and take a little pressure off of ourselves and not to measure. joy and happiness by the wrong things. And let me tell you, look, we are successful. We got degrees. We make money. There's nothing wrong with that at all.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
But I will guarantee you that having stuff or money or fame, all the things that right now seem to be so important, you know, extolling the virtues of how much stuff you get. In my experience, that really, truly is not the key to happiness.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And finding out what your purpose is, you know, who you are helping and why over how much money you have in your bank account, you know, truly, I know a whole lot of these billionaires and not all of them, as we can see, seem happy. Yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
You know, because that's not ultimately, if that's your only goal is to have more than you need to never be satisfied, if you get on that path and that's what you're going after, you know, there will be a hole in your heart. And it may feel like it's the world, but it may actually be our misguided sense of what it means to be human.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And truly what it means to be human isn't whether we get to space or how much money we have in our bank account, it's really how we treat each other. How do we make each other feel? How do we care for one another? And I guarantee you if you spend your life doing that, really reordering your steps to be that person in the world,
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
I can tell you that's what makes me feel better and hopeful, is directing my energy at a real purpose. So I would urge James to make sure he's driven by that and not by some other artificial goals that we've been told are important.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Thank you, Lori. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Yeah, thank you guys.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Thank you, guys.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Let's be very clear, he's my big brother.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Austin. Hi, Craig Robinson. My big brother. Yay. He's so nice.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Well, that's because you're bald and you have younger kids.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
I think that helps because he's got a set of older kids and he's got a set of younger kids as well. So I call him the head of the ODC, the old dad's club. He is president and CEO. But even at this age, it's a little daunting to think that now we kind of have to step up in our family and be that wisdom.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Yeah. Yeah. So our goal is to share some of what we learned. We know people are going through some tough times, and I don't think Craig and I are feeling any different than anyone out there. We're dealing with a lot of uncertainties. I, for one, feel for folks who are struggling and will continue to struggle in these uncertainties. I worry about folks being out of work,
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
You know, I worry about how we think about diversity and inclusion. I think about how we treat one another and the voices that we hear and what that does, what models that setting for the next generation. Who do we want to be as a country? All of that keeps me up at night. And I know that a lot of people are struggling with some of those things, but I find
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
in those moments that it is better not to try to figure that stuff out alone. And for me and Craig and our family, you know, we always try to step outside of our loneliness and talk as a family and as a community and to share those concerns. And I hope that our listeners understand are pushed to do some of the same things too.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Yeah. You know, I'm not used to being up here with somebody. Usually when I'm speaking, I'm speaking on my own, but I got company.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
That, you know, we're not going to figure this stuff out on our own and that we need each other and we need to step out of our loneliness and start talking to each other. So hopefully this podcast will spark some conversation, but more importantly, I hope it leads people to seek out their own communities of trust and conversation so we're not sitting alone in these feelings. So That's my hope.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Or all the answers.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
You're like, don't say anything. Don't say anything. Save it. Don't say anything.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
This episode is brought to you by Rivian.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
You know, yeah, yeah. I talk about this in both of my books. For those of you who don't know our story, our dad, Frazier Robinson, he developed MS in the prime of his life. He didn't always have it. He grew up as a boxer, an athlete, a swimmer. And like in his early 20s, he contracted MS and he couldn't walk without the assistance of a cane and the disease progressed.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
So we only knew our father as someone with a disability. And I think that growing up with a parent with a disability, looking back on it, we were always kids that were growing up with a real sense of vulnerability right before us because our father was the sole breadwinner. Our mom stayed home. He was a city worker, so that salary was important. I think we knew that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
But to know that the person that you lean on most, you know, is vulnerable, I think it always made us clear about adversity. I think we lived within adversity to a certain extent. And it sort of made us both a little wary in interesting ways for a kid because
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And Craig, I don't know if you remember, little things that we didn't at the time tie to our dad's disability, but Craig was always like doing disaster preparedness stuff around the house. I mean, I kid you not, this little boy, and he was about 10, and I was always his willing sidekick running behind him, like, what are we doing now?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Go Beavers. We heard a lot of that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And he came home one day and said, you know, how are we going to get out if there's a fire? So he made us all, do you remember?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Tell your little worry story.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
There weren't smoke detectors.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
We're talking young people back in the Stone Age.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
But it wasn't just that. He had to make sure that he could drag our dad to safety. So he made.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
You know, when was the last time we were on a big stage together? You remember?
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
But he humored you.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Yeah, yeah. But That indicated this little boy was worried about some stuff that probably a normal 10-year-old wouldn't worry about. And that wasn't it. He would tie his left hand behind his back. My right hand. Oh, your right hand, because he was right-handed, because he was worried that he would lose the use of his right hand, so he needed to know how to do everything with his left hand.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
There was one week that you walked around blindfolded, just in case you lost your... I mean, his eyesight... And I'm there, little me going, no, to your left, Greg, to your right. No, wait.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Right there. I was like, I don't know why we're doing this, but my brother says we're doing it. And our parents would just humor us. But while we lived with probably that underlying level of uncertainty, I think when you talk about how we learned to deal with adversity, I think we learned it by watching our father persevere.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Yeah.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
I am thinking about the 2008 convention. And that was a big moment for me because that was Barack's first campaign. And in that campaign, people didn't know me. So I... got accused in the press of being angry and combative because of the way I spoke. So I found that I had to use this speech to reintroduce myself to the country. So this was a big speech, major speech at the DNC. I remember that.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
Because let me tell you, our father, despite his disability, was a man who got up every day and went to work. I mean, I don't remember a time in our life that our dad missed a day of work. Blue-collar worker. He took pride in the little things that I think we take for granted, like paying your bills on time, not being house poor. That was a word, we don't want to be house poor.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
But my father would never let a bill go by. He was resilient and he was positive in his life. He was a joyful man because I think adversity was relative in our house. Because if you could walk, if you could hold down a job, if you could take care of your family, if you could love your kids, if you could live with honor and decency, well, who cares if you couldn't walk? He saw the blessings.
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
So I think, as I look at it, for me, we learned to... I mean, adversity was relative. Adversity was a part of life, but it wasn't everything, you know? That you'd have to just work your way through it. And the other thing I think Dad taught us was gratitude, immense gratitude. I mean, our father, as you could tell from the stories, was a kind, gentle man. He rarely...
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
raised his voice or got angry but you know when he was disappointed in us was when we showed a lack of gratitude for what we had you know if we had a bowl of ice cream and we were looking for the second scoop before we finished our our the first scoop what would he say never satisfied never satisfied that would be the one admonition never satisfied i hate those two words to this day yeah um
IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
IMO Live at SXSW: Combatting Hopelessness with Dr. Laurie Santos
And, you know, so when I face adversity, his words sit in my brain. It's like, what am I... what do I have to complain about? What is it that I can't overcome because of the model that my father set for me? You know, why wouldn't I be happy? Why wouldn't I be able to get through this? Because we saw a man do it every day and do it without complaint.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
I I'm just now feeling kind of like an adult that knows something, you know, and I. Does it not feel like it's all of the wisdom that she has imparted on you? It's there. But until you activate it, you don't realize that it's just been there forever. Brewing all along. I find that I'm having that conversation with the girls now. I mean, my girls are, you know, they are adults.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
They're living on their own. If you can believe that going from these little girls that people saw on the stage at the first inauguration. they're grown women in the world. But a lot of our conversation now is like, when do you feel like an adult? When does it happen? They think like, is there the magic switch that makes you say, yeah, I'm adulting? And I was like, no. Yeah, I haven't.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
It's not there.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
You know, and when you leave the hospital with that baby, you think, are you guys for real? You're letting us? No one's going to monitor this. You're going to let us get in a car with this precious baby? Yes. I think the sadness or the postpartum that I felt with my kids really came from like you love these babies so much. Immediately you're connected and you think, oh, my God, all you have is me.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Yes. I feel so bad for you. I wish you had a parent. You deserve more because I don't know anything. And now I'm in charge. This is like my inner dialogue. It is, you know, and you're doing it a fourth time. I just had to stop. You know, I was like, I think, you know, I think I've been lucky with these two. You know, Barack was like, we should have a third. And I was like, dude.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Well, two good sleepers, I'd call it two. You know, I'm thinking we're going to get a crazy one. That's it. It's just the roll of the dice. So I, you know, I admire your courage. Yeah. You're on number four, you know, and you know, you don't know what you're going to get.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
And they show you pretty early. They're like, Oh, right away. I have an attitude.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
No one knows what they're doing.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Yeah. And you have girls to all girls, all girls. That's because that's what your husband deserved. Yes. Something in his life. That's what I told Barack. I was like, you know, the karma was like, dude, you need a bunch of women in your life to take care of you around. That's it. No, to do a little smacking around. When I say take care of you, I mean, like handle you. Yes.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Yeah, but well, because, you know, they spent they've lived in the White House longer than they lived anywhere. I mean, you really they grew up in the White House. All right. So you that you're thinking the little years, like when you have full control, the younger years when you have control in the. the worst thing that they do is write on a wall, draw on surfaces. Yeah.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
My, my kids were teenagers in the white house. I mean, those years were just like, okay, you want to go where and do what? And there's prom and you've got to learn how to drive and you have to be normal and you're going to a party and was there alcohol and you have agents and now you have a boyfriend and, uh, And trying to do all that, right, and allow them to be normal kids, right?
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Just, you know, just the process of making sure they knew how to drive when they have been driven by men in armored cars with guns, you know, because they had full details their whole life. Right. And so I'm trying to make sure because at the end of this eight years, they don't that, you know, they don't continue to live that life.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
So when we entered, I'm thinking, how do I make sure that they're normal and ready when this is all over? Right.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
And they have to get on a bus and make their own plane reservations and live in an apartment and have decent friends and be sane in the world. And you start realizing that in the teen years because I wanted to give my girls enough rope to live and be normal teenagers. But I was also worrying about them turning up on page six because they were doing what normal kids would do.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Without that many eyes on them. Without that many eyes on them. And they grew up in with social media, which was different from any other of the younger kids who had grown up in the White House. When you think of Chelsea and Amy Carter and even the Bush daughters who were in college. But it was really Chelsea and Amy who were kids. But there wasn't social media. Right.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
There weren't cameras everywhere, you know, every party that they'd go to, you know, we'd have to build a real community of trust around them so that because I didn't want them sitting home on Saturday night, not understanding what it was like to be out and. have a life before they went to college. Right. Right. So it was really those years, you know, the stressful ones.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
I mean, it was like, get the crayon on the wall. Take some crayon on the wall. You know, I mean, magic eraser will handle. Yeah. And, I think Sasha was driving one time because once they got their license, I told the agents they have to drive. You know, I'm sorry, but you only learn to drive by driving. You can't learn it through osmosis in the backseat of an armored car.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
So once they got their license, we got a car for them. And then the agents had to figure out they have to follow this teenager now to school, to parties, to school. And it worked out. But one time Sasha got T-boned. Literally, her car totaled. Some lady T-boned her. And you get this call that Sasha was in an accident. The car was totaled. And then I thought, oh, I hope the lady that hit her is OK.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Because you imagine, right? Yes. Like you T-bone like Sasha Obama. Yes. And then their agents. So I'm also like thinking about them in the world. Right. So, you know, the day to day kind of challenges that any parent has with teenagers. We had it on a hundred. Amplified. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So I longed for the days when, you know. I do not envy that. Just write on the wall, will you?
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
We can wash that off. You know, I just I just was I was so glad when we got out of the White House, not, you know, it was just like I wanted them to have the freedom of not having the the eyes of the world on them. I mean, they still are dealing with paparazzi and being who they are and trying to, you know, cover up their own identity. But they got a lot of practice.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
in those years in the White House. And so when people ask me, would I ever run? The answer is no. You know, I mean, you you then if you ask me that, then you have absolutely no idea the the sacrifice that your kids make when your parents are in that role, not
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
not only am I not interested in politics in that way, but the thought of like putting my girls back into that, you know, that spotlight when they are just now establishing themselves, it's like, you know, okay, I think we've, we've done enough question asked and answered never going to happen. Right.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
the really your kids and they've already been in, you know, they've already served their time. Right.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Nope. Nope.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Well, I experienced the challenges in this environment of fast food and more sedentary lifestyles and all that my generation of parents were facing that was new, that was leading to a childhood obesity crisis. And it was was real. And I saw it early on as a as a working mom with my husband traveling. You know, he was a state senator when the kids were little. Then he was a U.S. senator.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
So he was he would like you. You know, I had a husband that had to travel a lot and I had a full time job. So when you're a single when not a single parent, but when you're You know, we called football season single parent season, you know, as a political season, single parent. Right. Yes.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
You know, you're you're relying on juice boxes, doing a lot of process stuff, trying to get things quick and and easy. And I saw the effects on my daughter, primarily Malia at the time. Um, because her, you know, her, the doctors were saying, whoa, let's, let's make sure that we're thinking about her diet in a way that I hadn't, you know, I was buying what was being sold to me.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
The, the conveniences of parenthood. Right. Um, And that had an effect. So we started making changes that were really simple, you know, no sugary drinks. We had the kids drinking milk and water. They were always active. We cut out all processed foods, you know, no more cheese dust in a box.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
You know, if you were going to have macaroni and cheese, it would be real pasta, real cheese, you know, just small, common changes. And within months, her health numbers flipped. And I thought, oh my God, here I am, this highly educated person out in the world with all these degrees. And I didn't realize that we were facing this kind of dilemma.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
And I thought, now this should be something that everyone should be able to get behind. creating a healthier generation because I was also thinking about my platform and it's like, okay, I don't want to do something divisive. My husband's going to be pushing healthcare. I was trying to be strategic about aligning my agenda with something that was important to the West wing. And I thought, well,
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
There's no way that anyone is going to take issue with trying to make school lunches healthier, getting kids more active, really just trying to make the next generation healthier than ours. And boy, was I wrong, which is really interesting in these times with the current secretary of health and human services, who is now saying some of the same things that I was saying.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
But it became a partisan issue. You know, people were telling me that, you know, I'm trying to be the nanny state and I'm trying to control what our kids are eating and telling them what's good for them and what's not good for them. Now, eventually we got a lot done.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
You know, we were able to improve the nutrition standards, the labels so that they were more readable so that people, parents could really understand the breakdown of fat and sugar. And it was clear. We got the school nutrition standards approved.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
uh improved in our schools for the first time in like 50 years there hadn't been any updates uh and we were really focused on making it fun getting kids active reminding parents that you know we got to make exercise fun so we had a lot of amazing partnerships with the nfl and We broke the Guinness World Record.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
I planted a garden to try to get people more focused on making vegetables a little more fun and interesting for kids. But it was all about really dealing with a real health crisis that at the time, a lot of people didn't take seriously.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Absolutely.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Because they were obvious. I think your generation talks about nutrition and movement in a way that my generation didn't, especially as women. No one focused on us as real athletic beings when I was coming up. And that has totally changed. And I'm so, so happy to see folks like you benefiting from Title IX and really embracing all of who you are, your power, your strength.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
It really... We just have to make sure we don't backslide on this stuff, right? I mean, because... It can happen in the blink of the eye, where we turn back the clock on a lot of this stuff. And we're really thinking about your girls, right? Yes.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
This is something that I don't care what your political party is, but as women, as mothers, as parents, we've got to be mindful of what some of this rhetoric might do to turn the clock back on a lot of really important progress to give girls, you know, acknowledge the power and the leadership that are inherent in all of our kids, especially our girls. Absolutely.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Hard over correct. Oh, and you know, I'm not going to lie. Doesn't it irritate you when the wee people take the tall guys?
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
I would have, I would have some issues with your mom.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
That's it. Look up and say, Hey, that's it.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
I think it's a little bit of both. I was always kind of a tomboy being the having a big brother. I was always trying to keep up and I always found what the boys were doing were more interesting. Right. And we had cousins who were two boys that we were close with, some of our favorites. And so I'm the only girl. And my father raised me. It's like if Craig is learning how to do something,
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
you're going to learn it too. So my dad was a boxer. So he got us both boxing gloves because he was like, you're going to learn how to punch. And I had, he had, Craig had his larger size boxing gloves and I had my little ones and we do these spars. And I, you know, I could always hit him harder. So, you know, I was fast. I love to run.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
You know, I just I so I was taught to embrace that part of me, you know, so in my home, I felt like I felt tall. I felt proud. But then you go out into the world. Right. And, you know, before Title nine, being a sporty girl wasn't a thing. Right. Like, what do you do? I don't think there was any place for my parents to put that gift, that interest. Right. I took dance lessons.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
I was trying to be more girly and girly meant you were smaller than the guys. And then as you got older, you found that, you know, guys would be lying about their height, especially because I grew up in basketball culture. Right. Oh, yeah. My my brother played everything. Right. Um, so, you know, and I dated a lot of guys on his team, you know, cause those are the guys I were meeting.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
So I would meet some taller guys, but they were always lying about their height. A roster height is at least two inches for men. It's like six, two. Yeah. You are not six, two, not if I'm five, 11 or I to I, you know, maybe, maybe you're six, but that's six, that roster height. Yes, boy. You know, so I look at somebody's roster height and then so they try to make us feel crazy.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Like, oh, you're not 5'11". It's like, no, I'm exactly 5'11". I have no reason to lie about my height. As an adult, I have now grown to to love it. But I came up in a generation that like there weren't the there wasn't the tall size.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
So the worst thing about being tall without the tall sizes is this the pulling up your sleeve because your sleeves are too short. Yes. You know, everything is just a little too short. You always look like you're expecting a flood. You know, exactly. And I'm just sort of like, come on people, a couple of more incidents because the, the littler ones can hem their pants. That's it.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
I do not shy away from a heel. My girls don't either. They're like, they've got to get over it. Oh, Sasha loves a big chunky heel. And oh, Malia too. They love their big chunky boots. Good.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
because I'm trying to hear them. So now you're tall and people are talking. You're a mile away. There's a conversation going on down there. And you're like, I'm sorry, I can't hear. It's not traveling up. So I find myself in pictures, I'm leaning over and I hate that, but I can't hear them down there. Yes.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
So that it doesn't feel like I'm just hovering over like, I'm going to eat you alive.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
I am so excited. You're doing this thing. Really, truly. And I'm here for you. I think what you're doing and how you are showing up in the world is, is just what we need right now. So it is truly, truly a pleasure. We will do this again because we didn't scratch the surface of all that we talk about and just keep being you.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Give me some tips when you hear, you know, let me know. I'll tell you.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
No one can give me shit like my brother. That's it.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
That's right. That's what we need. Right.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Yes.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Yes, I'm following in your footsteps. I mean, you're killing the game out here.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
Yeah, well, that's the fun part of podcasting. It is. It's, you know, this is the first time we've entered into the space in a major way. I did a podcast after my first book, Becoming, which was really based more on, you know, the, the sort of focus of the book, the story of, of my life in the, in the white house.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
But this is a bit different because it's a lot more free flowing, you know, IMO it's, it's in my opinion. So, I mean, I think a lot like you, it's like folks have, you're finding they have a People are always looking for some kind of answers because I think we think someone's got wisdom out there. And it just it's it eases our minds, I think, if we can just talk about this stuff.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
We're about a year and a half. So we're really... That's so awesome. Yeah, we're close. We've been close from the very beginning. And, you know, we also just lost our mom about a year ago. And so it's kind of strange that we are now the elders, you know? I mean, when you lose... both your parents and we were, we lost our dad earlier.
Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce
Kylie & Michelle Obama on Prom at The White House, Destined Girl Dads & Roster Height Lies | Ep. 15
We, I, we were both in our twenties when my dad died and my mom has held it down for us through all these crazy parts in our lives. You know, the white house years, um, you know, she got us through those years. Um, uh, but when you lose your, your parent, you know, you're always kind of wondering what on earth do I know?
PBD Podcast
Canada CAVES To Trump Tariff Threats In Trade War | PBD Podcast | Ep. 561
Did you ever think you would make it? I feel I'm so pleased I could take sweet victory. I know this life's meant for me. Adam, what's your point?
PBD Podcast
Canada CAVES To Trump Tariff Threats In Trade War | PBD Podcast | Ep. 561
Hey, TikTok. It's Michelle Obama, and I'm here with my big brother, Craig.
PBD Podcast
Canada CAVES To Trump Tariff Threats In Trade War | PBD Podcast | Ep. 561
We're here because we're excited to announce the launch of our new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
853. Andy & DJ CTI: Judge Rules Fired Federal Workers Must Be Rehired, Putin Agrees In Principle With U.S. Proposed 30-Day Ukraine Ceasefire & House Hearing Ends After Lawmaker Introduces Rep. Sarah McBride As ‘Mr. McBride’
Hey, TikTok. It's Michelle Obama, and I'm here with my big brother, Craig. Hey, everybody. We're here because we're excited to announce the launch of our new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
853. Andy & DJ CTI: Judge Rules Fired Federal Workers Must Be Rehired, Putin Agrees In Principle With U.S. Proposed 30-Day Ukraine Ceasefire & House Hearing Ends After Lawmaker Introduces Rep. Sarah McBride As ‘Mr. McBride’
Check it out. Thanks, you guys. See you soon.
The Megyn Kelly Show
Dem Party Imploding, Michelle Obama's Failing Podcast, and Debating Khalil Deportation, with Glenn Greenwald | Ep. 1028
Couldn't have gotten through eight years in the White House without my big brother. That's another sort of unusual aspect to our lives. Our relationship was this whole, you know, being married to the president of the United States thing.
The Megyn Kelly Show
Dem Party Imploding, Michelle Obama's Failing Podcast, and Debating Khalil Deportation, with Glenn Greenwald | Ep. 1028
That none of us kind of banked on. I mean, we knew Barack was smart and, you know, ambitious. But, you know, I think... But you talked me into supporting his run.
The Megyn Kelly Show
Dem Party Imploding, Michelle Obama's Failing Podcast, and Debating Khalil Deportation, with Glenn Greenwald | Ep. 1028
And he was smart enough to know that he needed to come to you and sell you on the idea.
The Megyn Kelly Show
Dem Party Imploding, Michelle Obama's Failing Podcast, and Debating Khalil Deportation, with Glenn Greenwald | Ep. 1028
When a girlfriend comes to visit, it's usually like, you've got to stay for two days. Because it's going to take us two days to check up. Now, Barack has come in. He's come out. And he's like, y'all still talking? He'll sit down for five minutes and be like, how are the boys? And the flip side, my husband, right? Because he golfs.
The Megyn Kelly Show
Dem Party Imploding, Michelle Obama's Failing Podcast, and Debating Khalil Deportation, with Glenn Greenwald | Ep. 1028
And golfing takes as long as the first session of our, you know, it takes five hours to golf. He'll golf with his buddies, come back and be like, how's X? He's good. He's like, what y'all talk about? Nothing.
The Megyn Kelly Show
Dem Party Imploding, Michelle Obama's Failing Podcast, and Debating Khalil Deportation, with Glenn Greenwald | Ep. 1028
You know, some people react like, oh, you're doing a podcast with your brother? Why would you do that? I know, really. But our dynamic is so, in my view, unique. I think there are plenty of siblings who have great relationships. But, you know, I think when we think back to where that came from, we think about... I think about just the physical closeness that we had. I mean, we weren't wealthy.
The Megyn Kelly Show
Dem Party Imploding, Michelle Obama's Failing Podcast, and Debating Khalil Deportation, with Glenn Greenwald | Ep. 1028
Right. And... Dad was working class. We lived in the same apartment our whole lives and had to grow into that. And as a result, you and me, we were physically close growing up.
The Megyn Kelly Show
New Details About Biden Coup, CNN Loses Millions in Defamation Case, and Obama Drama, with Maureen Callahan | Ep. 985
How's our former president doing? He's doing okay. He's doing all right. Yeah, yeah. He's still working too hard, you know. But I think that's something he will always do. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was our anniversary date. But he's doing well, working hard on the Obama Presidential Center. So we've been able to get some fun dates. That picture was us at the U.S.
The Megyn Kelly Show
New Details About Biden Coup, CNN Loses Millions in Defamation Case, and Obama Drama, with Maureen Callahan | Ep. 985
Open, and that was the first time he got to go to the U.S. Open in person. But he's working hard on the Obama Presidential Center, which is on the south side of Chicago. I love that. Yeah. We're going to head to the island for a little sun. Nice. Ooh, that's the way to spend the Christmas. I like that. I know. I tell you, that's why you got to pick your husband right. Okay. You know? Okay.
The Megyn Kelly Show
New Details About Biden Coup, CNN Loses Millions in Defamation Case, and Obama Drama, with Maureen Callahan | Ep. 985
It's like he got a lot cuter when I found out he was from Hawaii. I was like, oh, okay. That is funny.
The Megyn Kelly Show
Schumer Caves in Budget Battle, Putin Playing Hardball, Michelle Obama Podcast Flop: AM Update 3/14
A lot of people have questions they want to know, especially when they see somebody of note with a platform who, you know, by every measure looks successful. The people, you know, they want to hear some honest kind of conversation about how people are working it through.
The Megyn Kelly Show
Schumer Caves in Budget Battle, Putin Playing Hardball, Michelle Obama Podcast Flop: AM Update 3/14
When a girlfriend comes to visit, it's usually like, you've got to stay for two days. Because it's going to take us two days to check up. Now, Barack has come in. He's come out. And he's like, y'all still talking? He'll sit down for five minutes and be like, how are the boys? Because he golfs. It takes five hours to golf. He'll golf with his buddies, come back, and be like, how's X? He's good.
The Megyn Kelly Show
Schumer Caves in Budget Battle, Putin Playing Hardball, Michelle Obama Podcast Flop: AM Update 3/14
He's like, what did y'all talk about?
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Because I'm also at a different time in life where my kids are adults. So I spent most of their lifetime making decisions for them, right? You know? Yeah, I do. Now I'm sort of free of that. You know, I'm no longer the first lady. I mean, there are a lot of big obligations, things that I did because, you know, it was an honor. It was my responsibility, all these things.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
But now in this back half, you know, in this back nine place, How am I thinking about who do I, Michelle Robinson Obama, want to be and what choices do I make for me? And I think this is really the first time in my life that I'm doing that. And I've made some decisions, as many people know, earlier in the year about where I was going to go, where I was going to be.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
what things I was going to attend. And there are repercussions to that. And as a woman, we always are worried about disappointing other people. And I've spent a lot of my life making sure that I was showing up As best as I could, because I didn't want to disappoint people. And a lot of times I made decisions that weren't in my own best interest.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
I think after this year, you know, my mindset is, OK, I got to start being brave enough to make decisions for me. So I think that that's probably one of the. I guess, most recent examples of something that mom said to me. Of course, that wisdom, that last bit of snap out wisdom came from her.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
How appropriate it is that it came from her. But I think it's changed the way that I make decisions to this day. And I'm just trying to be more mindful.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Are you kidding me? Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
What about you guys?
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And the thing that keeps me going is that it was unique, but it exists all over the place. And I want your listeners and our listeners in times like this where we feel a little trapped and lost. is to remember that there are so many Marianne Robinsons out there of all races and backgrounds.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And there are times when we get confused and there are times when we go in the wrong direction, but at the core of who we are as humanity on this planet, There are more people like her than there are not.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Just any fool out there.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Just give us a name.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
who was smart and capable, but for a bad teacher or a parent that didn't pay attention, you know, she believed in our father too, in the goodness in people. And that led me to Barack, which led me to see the country and the world and to find that to be true, you know? And so,
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Even when things are bad, I try really hard to remember that we're not unique, you know, that the joy and the love and the devotion, you have it in your family. We feel it in you too. That's why people are drawn to you. The thing that we just have to remind people of is that this feeling is actually the better feeling. So gravitate to it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
I mean, it is easy to be mean and to not share and to be greedy and to cut people off and to say nasty things. I mean, that's part of our defense mechanism. But we need a reminder that that's not what brings us joy. That's not what, it's not the money. It's not the power. It's not the house. It's not the dollars in your bank account. It's like how you treat people in life.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Lately, the experiences that we've had in the loss of that core for us is it makes us want to fight for that truth even more, you know, to shine a big light that knocks out the darkness that feels like it's suffocating us, that it's causing us to wake up every day and go, where are we? Is this what we're supposed to be? Is this who we are? And the answer is no, no, no, we're better than this.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
We are so much better than this. And better doesn't come in the form of a race or religion or gender or sexuality. We all have it. You know, we just have to call upon it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
She's the opposite of you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
I think that's beautiful and powerful on so many levels because we are out here trying to conform sometimes in ways that maybe that's not who we're supposed to be, you know? And instead of embracing all of ourselves, right? The good and the bad, the beautiful stuff and the gnarly stuff, right? We're taught that it all is supposed to be perfect all the time.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
You know, you're not supposed to have problems or issues or distress. You know, and this was also something we talked about with Lori Santos, you know, Dr. Lori Santos, who teaches the happiness course at Yale. We had a great conversation with her and I've thought about a lot of what she's talked about. But our happiness bar to me is way off.
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Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And our parents weren't like that. And our grandparents weren't like that because there wasn't room at that time in history when there was segregation and misogyny and women were still fighting for rights. I mean, when you think about where there was a Great Depression, there were wars all the time. No one was raised to think that you were supposed to be happy or perfect or not to have a problem.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And that that was going to be the standard of the way you live, like always getting what you want and never really having to work through really hard things. But that's life. That's like what we are meant to do as humans on this planet, as animals. That's all we have.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And I think kids today and so many of us are sad because when there's an imperfection or there's a block or there's a challenge, we feel completely and utterly broken and useless rather than feeling like, yeah, that's a thing that you're going to be working on forever. And you're teaching with it and you're growing from it and you're sharing from it. No, it's not perfect.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And it doesn't always make you happy, right? Because struggle doesn't make you happy, but it also makes you strong. It also makes you wise in a very unique way. And it's reorienting our thinking about what is human life supposed to be? And it's full of a lot of broken, messy stuff, right? And that's okay too.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Remember, he's the old dad.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
That's right. Let me give you an assignment.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
I like that.
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Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Yes. Awesome. Well, for me, it's probably retreating. I do get so much energy from people. I don't get tired of people generally. I am an extrovert and a people person.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Well, that's also because I don't, you know, I don't get tired. I don't get worn out. I don't get drained. Honestly, I don't. But sometimes all of that interaction keeps my mind full and I don't take the time to really sit quietly. So when I really need to kind of assess, I go quiet and I can spend a couple of days alone. No social media, not reading the news headlines, withdrawing from all of the
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Your podcast is crushing. We don't know. I never know what anything is.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
inputs you know and especially when it comes to outside noise right no news no not even reading the clips not taking in any outside anything and sitting by myself, oftentimes in nature, somewhere where I can hear an ocean or see something green or take in fresh air.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
There are days, there's a spot in Hawaii in our house where if nobody is around, I will go to that one spot where I can see just everything and I can see nature happening and I can sit in that spot for an entire day. And I find that I just can get some clarity there. So to me, it's retreating. It's retreating into myself.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Oh, really? Oh, I do.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
We love you so much. And are just grateful, happy to have you in our lives. And I'm waiting for the letter. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. I'm going to get it to you. All right. You got to work up the nerve and just like, you know, just deliver it. Five more meetings. Now I really, really want to see it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Oh, why? Anything in particular? What's going on? What's happening? Just life. It's just like opening your eyes in the morning and seeing the world. Typically for me, that's when it starts.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
It's just right here. It's just you and your thoughts in your brain. Yeah. All alone in your loop. In the loop.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
I.M.O. That would be what I would do. And I would say it over and over again.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
It's almost like, yeah, we're sitting around the table and he's visiting me now. The whole family's here. Malia's here. And we sit around and we talk about everything. And there's this range, age range, because his youngest is 13. His oldest is 30 and then everybody else is in the middle. But this is how we grew up around the kitchen table. We just didn't solve problems alone.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
That was never like a thought that I would ever have an issue that I wouldn't be like, mom, Craig, everyone, everyone, all the kids. We're going to talk about this at dinner. You know, every embarrassing moment, every stumble. So we like let's try to do this with other folks who may not have that community, you know, who may not have a base of support.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
that they can go to on a regular basis, particularly in times when people feel so lonely?
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And we just had some amazing guests and experts. You guys, you know, we now are in love with you both. So, so in love. But, you know, we've learned a lot. I mean, over dinner last night, we've been having long conversations with the younger ones about social media because we had a great conversation with John Haidt, who wrote The Anxious Generation.
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Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And I think you started implementing some of the stuff that John suggested in terms of, you know. getting kids offline and in real life and what that's doing to their brains. But we were talking to that with the kids last night at dinner.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
But I can't. There's teenagers. But why can't you? I mean, why? I know I am paying for it. Why can't we? Because now we're learning that it's not really good for them. You know, that they're reaching for that phone out of habit, that their minds have been captured. You know, so if they were sitting there smoking a cigarette next to you, same thing, you would snatch it.
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Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
You'd be like, not lighting up on my sofa, not in the middle of this movie. But I think that that's something that we have to talk about because kids have gotten accustomed to this thing. So have we as adults. And what we're learning is that this stuff is frying their brains and it's not preparing them for real life. and it's taking away their attention span. It is messing with all of us.
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Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
We didn't know this five years ago. We didn't have the information, but now that we do, it's like seat belts, you know? It's like all the things that we didn't grow up doing or knowing that it was a problem, And now we have to kind of go, this is for you. Put the phone down. Learn how to pay attention to something for 90 minutes, because that's what life is going to be.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
That's what a job is going to require you to do. And if you can't practice that like a coach, you're not forcing your kids to practice attention span. Then they're they're not ready for the game of life. coaches, you players, you sports people. Well said. Well said. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Our mom smoked when she was pregnant. And we always tell her we could have been somebody. You know, if you had not smoked while we smoke and highballs, you know, they they drank. Everybody had a drink.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And now we've made it clear. It's like you you really didn't maximize our development. But we're OK. And that's what you say. You're fine. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
There's a bit of an understatement. But yeah, we're having a ton of fun with the show and with IMO. And we are learning some stuff.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
We're just so grateful to you guys for supporting it, for being a part of it. It's been just great getting to know you two. Thank you for being a part of our community. It's been terrific.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
For me, since we talked about losing our mom, the months before our mom died, she was with me. And it was a real special treat because we were all in Hawaii. She would usually come in December for Christmas and then go back sometime in January, but she got sick then. And so she wound up staying until March. So we had all this amazing time with me being able to really just care for her
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Because, you know, when she's not in D.C., she's in Chicago. I live in D.C. with our folks. Mom's in Chicago. Craig's in Milwaukee. So we were doing a lot of caregiving from a distance, you know, which was a little stressful. But our mom liked her independence and didn't want to be a burden. So having that time with her and not knowing that our time was limited, it was special. But
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
We were back and forth to the hospital, and we had just come back from a hospital visit, and we were sitting on the sofa together watching a court show. And I reached over, grabbed mom's hand, and she looked at me and she said, wow, this was short. And I said, what are you talking about? And she said, life.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And, you know, that really hit me because our mom, first of all, was always preparing us for her death since the time we were little. You know, it's one of these things. It's like you guys got this because I think as a parent, that's one of your biggest worries is that you leave before your kids are ready for you to leave. So she kind of overly prepared us.
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Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
But at that point in time to see in my mother the shock of how short life was, you know, that kind of snapped me into, I would say, a different kind of mindfulness experience. about my life because I started to think, wow, yeah, life is long, but then it gets really short.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And if we're lucky at 61, maybe we get 20 more summers, you know, and not in a morbid way, but it's like, you know, this stuff gets finite and we're blessed because we're Time is limited. And so it kind of made me think in this year, how am I being mindful now in the choices that I make about how I spend my time, where I go, what I do, who do I do it for?