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Hunter

Appearances

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Best of Creep Cast 2024

12373.86

i immediately hate the in-person format because you can do you can do physical bits like right next to me while i'm here and i don't realize them until i've been really wanting to record in person for like a long time i can tell

CreepCast

Best of Creep Cast 2024

12435.606

i don't know i looked at my wife and i was like i looked at my wife can we kiss her

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12605.536

Okay, alright.

CreepCast

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1356.112

Amazing grace How sweet the sound That saved two towers from me I once was lost

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Best of Creep Cast 2024

1535.871

Like a high number? You'd put this stuff in Diagon Alley.

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Best of Creep Cast 2024

16478.973

You have a guy cut this son of a bitch open and Mitch is really like...

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16670.089

You know that ending freaks me out.

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Best of Creep Cast 2024

19089.888

I want to be a martyr.

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19096.336

We also have to leave. I want to be a martyr.

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Best of Creep Cast 2024

19104.758

I want to be like Jesus and die right here. I want to be like a curatorial.

CreepCast

Best of Creep Cast 2024

19284.11

I'm sorry to all the audio listeners. My God. Okay. I'm crying. Okay.

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4227.39

Come on that you're cheating.

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6473.524

If he gets all flustered, he'll go to that weird town where the guy died. Well, how many to impress me?

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Best of Creep Cast 2024

6565.136

Like there's no, there's no manipulation. Yeah. For a guy this big, you look really good. Okay. Here's one. Hey Hunter, your last video was a lot better.

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Best of Creep Cast 2024

7410.191

We're just interns. I didn't know. I'm just an intern Nickelodeon.

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8191.164

Did you leave your shoes on? You're tracking mud all through the house.

CreepCast

Best of Creep Cast 2024

8197.788

I said, you're making me.

CreepCast

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9207.163

My investigation has turned into evidence.

CreepCast

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9240.778

That he's like, yes, yes, very interesting. I think me wife may be cheating on I.

CreepCast

Best of Creep Cast 2024

946.528

What if he becomes like a very dramatic, like serious character? Well, then it's going to get very awkward very quickly.

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

11228.684

At least he wouldn't have been alone.

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

12894.143

Ice? Ice makes noise?

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

13391.257

This is how I'm gonna die.

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

13779.874

Is there someone your friend would want us to contact? Her mom.

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

13810.145

What? What do you want? Why are you calling my house at three fucking o'clock in the morning?

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

14231.906

Well, we should have left after we heard those fucking bells.

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

14283.141

Can I tell you something?

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

15186.484

I'm sorry I'm not home more.

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

16135.765

They were heavenly, but it wasn't just the sound.

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

18438.536

Have you heard them? Since we were out there? Yeah, twice. Gary's heard them too. I've heard them eight times. They keep getting louder. Fletch shuddered. Do you think this is what happened to Rob? The bells just kept ringing, kept getting louder and louder until he couldn't take it anymore?

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

21709.742

Hail Mary, full of grace, our Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus, Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

22140.772

Sheis! Sheis! Sheis!

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

2877.523

Yeah. Did you find out?

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

4158.482

Oh my God, dude, that is fucked.

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

4384.323

Fine lady like that. Fancy. You can't keep her in a cage, especially around here in this dreadful place, and expect she won't get bored.

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

6823.611

You want to check it out?

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

9297.873

Did you see it? Yeah. Basically said the same thing as yours.

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

9313.339

No. Oh, well, we could. What do you have last period? Just Jim. Can you skip it?

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

9495.574

Not while I'm driving.

CreepCast

Spire In The Woods | Creep Cast

9501.259

Is this okay? Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10024.272

I hungered down in my seat and brought up a Word document in my phone where I could take notes. Then I started Googling. You know what I'm talking about.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

1004.146

It will, but I can't imagine me. We should read for two hours. Just read about like pucking around. No, I watched your video where you talked about it, and I'm not doing that. I still... It dwarfs infinite jest. I have a reputation in my church. I feel like... I feel like I can't do both. You can't read a book from Steve Job and instead read Pugging Around? I think so.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10049.602

no well i think we're at three hours we're at three hours in our recording hours we have to we we are finishing the story hunter you're facing a problem and so you start searching for anything online that can help you fix your problem the internet was a wonderful tool for me at this moment without it i'd be dead months ago i was kicked out of the walmart for loitering but i continued my research in my car i turned my car on every once in a while to drive around and charge my battery

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10079.96

That night, I learned a lot about hacking. Phones, Android, surveillance, police procedure, legal procedure, and all kinds of subjects that related to my situation. I took dutiful notes and outlined areas for further research and learning. During my research, I found a list of apps that could be used for hacking someone's phone.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10104.703

I checked my installed applications, and could you guess what I found buried on my phone? One of those apps. David King had been eavesdropping and tracking me through my phone. Instead of deleting the app, however, I kept it. It could be useful in the future. I also researched the company David apparently worked for.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10123.69

It was a larger company that served several states, providing both long and short distance transport valuable goods. This was good information. If his job was to handle valuable goods, then it could be an easy way to get him fired or even charged if some of it disappeared from his truck. His truck was long gone by then, so I had no current opportunity.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10141.735

During all hours of the night, Hernandez would call me. So would Katie's mom. I ignored them both. That was a big mistake. I'll later learn. When the sun rose, I didn't feel tired. I felt empowered. Finally, I knew more about my situation and enough to be useful. Because I looked up hacking. I knew how to get those hard drives to the police legally, but I need Clark and Hernandez's help.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10189.373

It's... Confused, I hung up and turned right, heading towards the police station. I walked into the police station lobby to find Hernandez waiting for me. Did Isaac's body turn up anything? I asked, looking at his worried expression.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10215.836

I gave him a questioning look and then felt cold metal click around my right wrist. I reacted, but the two cops who had flanked me pulled my arms together. The metal clicked around my other wrist, handcuffing me. What the hell? The policeman gripped one of my arms.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10238.305

What the fuck are you talking about? Fernandez held up a bag containing a phone. He used a touchscreen through the bag and navigated to the phone's voicemail. The voicemail was joddily and sounded like whoever had the phone was running. Wind struck the mic, making it harder to hear in places. But the voice was unmistakable. It was mine.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10273.416

My heart shuddered to a halt. I had said those things. I literally said those things. The night David chased us and pinned me to the table, I'd said every word. The bastard had been recording the whole thing and now had edited it into a threatening voicemail. David King's home burned down last night. He said slowly, watching me, gauging me. David and his mother were still inside.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10306.872

I lost my breath. My eyes watered. The world closed in. I couldn't speak. Couldn't defend myself. Couldn't explain.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10318.456

You son of a bitch. Part six. Aren't you excited, Hunter? Yeah. Aren't you so excited? Yeah. It's times like these, Hunter. I'm so happy that I get to have a podcast with my best buddy. I get me and my friend get to record stuff and have a good time. It's insane because you know what?

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

1033.261

I like to think Steve Job would... would read Pucking Around. Okay. All right. This is all right. Before this gets blasphemous, the thing, Dave, he's an intellectual person. He thinks about everything. If you can't already tell, I was pretty dumb compared to him, but I stuck around because he always had interesting things to say. This conversation definitely counted as interesting.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10347.56

You know, I mean, we, we've been actually, if I look at the channel, I think we've been straight home runs for at least like the past five.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10384.088

I don't, you, you all love this. I know you people. Uh, yeah. Cause this is going to broach four hours, I think by the end of it, which puts it above stolen tongues. Uh, the only one that gives it a run for its money is if you count left, right game is one episode, part one and two.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10399.391

That one I think beats it out. But other than that, cause part two of left, right game was five hours. So that is crazy to think about. Yeah. That I, if that was all one video that I think it would like at the part one has 5 million views right now. That's absurd. Um, all right. Part six, part six. Also just, uh, we kind of blaze over it, but David killed his mom to get insane. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10426.661

Hi everyone. Thanks again for all your support. I've been jumping from store to store today to prevent tracking, so I've written on and off today and replied to as many as possible. I was just posting this when I almost ran right into David. Forgive me for hiding before I got my phone back out and finished posting. Edit. Guess I was on time after all.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10447.489

Sorry about the incident earlier with Part 5 disappearing. It was my own fault, and the r slash no sleep mods were very helpful in restoring it. I've said to a few of you that I estimate there being one to two more parts until I have caught up to the present day. I believe that after Part 7, we will be fully at the present day. That may change, so don't get mad if it does.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10465.836

I just wanted to let you know what to expect. I'll jump right in, as usual. I laid in an empty cell trying to catch a small nap since I'd been up all night. My mind was racing, though, and made it hard to sleep. I kept rehearsing what I was going to say when Hernandez finally came to get me.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10483.692

They'd emptied my pockets into evidence bags, took my fingerprints, and one cop was heading out to search my car. I wasn't dumb. I knew the evidence would point the police to three conclusions. One, that I'd been in David's home recently. After all, the data on those flash drives had been updated just the day before, even the ones that didn't have the kidnapping transcription on them.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10502.141

Two, the flash drive containing messages between David and his partner might lead them to believe I had kidnapped Katie. Three, that I'd stolen David's hard drive, as well as confidential medical information. I kept trying to play out the conversation with Hernandez. I hoped it would pan out the same way it was running in my head. I was woken by a slight knock on the bars.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10521.612

My eyes peeked open to see a man in a suit standing there accompanied by an officer.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10535.18

I said, setting up. The officer entered and cuffed me. We were both led to the interrogation room where I met Hernandez for the first time. I trust you will shut off the cameras. He said to the officer. The cop nodded, removed my handcuffs, and closed the door. You can call me Terry. Reaching out to shake my hand, we sat down opposite each other with the table between us.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10557.714

he said, pulling folders from her briefcase made sense, so I nodded

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

1057.065

I won't bore you with the entire conversation that we had, but it lasted an hour where we discussed how to build structure into our lives. I want to emphasize here that boredom is dangerous. Well, it's not dangerous by itself, but it can quickly lead to dangerous things. Boredom can lead to pain, accidental children, technology that disrupts the monopoly, and even death. Jesus Christ.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10588.652

Pushed a paper and pen across the table, skimmed it inside of the bottom, pulled it back.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Okay, Xander, let's start writing. Terry sat patiently with me while I wrote every detail I could think of. I began with my dare conversation with David and followed all the way up to this point. Started out as a page with scrambled memories and words to jog my memory. Then it slowly formed into a statement that Terry helped me edit into a cohesive fact-based statement.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10623.471

He said, worked for an hour before he spoke again.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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And I did. I spent the rest of my day writing that statement. I slept sporadically, but I was desperate to complete it before noon the next day. So much had happened, and I had so much to say. I was quite proud of the results. In fact, I was more proud of that statement than this one. That statement had a lot more fresh memories. This one feels a little scatterbrained.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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My statement was concise and to the point. Maybe it's for the best that this is the one that I posted. The next day at noon, I was back in the interrogation room. Terry sat to my left. Hernandez stood against the wall facing me with his arms crossed. I couldn't read his expression. On the other side of the table sat an older man who had introduced himself as Chief Gunderson, Hernandez's boss.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Beside him stood a tall, lanky man with slicked back hair. He held his hands behind his back, watching me intently. The tape recorder between us was running. I've been brought up to date on the cases you're involved in. Chief Gunderson said in a gruff voice.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10736.64

My client has prepared a statement that he intends to wholly rely on. Terry said, pushing copies of the 17 handwritten pages across the table. Chief prosecutor took one. Hernandez stepped forward and grabbed one too. He instantly started reading from his spot in the corner. Tried to catch his eye, but he didn't look at me.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I tuned Terry out and focused on Hernandez. There was something about his demeanor that caught my attention. I couldn't tell what it was. I focused on him for the entire meeting, trying to figure out what my instinct was telling me. I talked over legal details with Terry and corroborated the process of discovery between the two parties.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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A couple of days later, Terry was sitting with me in the interrogation room again, talking through what he'd learned from discovery. Discovery is winter. Yes, we get a PSA. We learned what discovery is in criminal cases, kids. Oh my gosh. Discovery is when the two sides of a case share evidence so that there are no surprises when they go to trial.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Our boredom... Our boredom led to a dare.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Anything not brought up in discovery is not admissible in court. Before trial, though, would come my arraignment. That's when the formal charges would be laid against me and I would have to plead either guilty or not guilty. Terry was talking through discovery with me so I would be prepared for what they'd say during the hearing and decide whether I'd plead guilty or not guilty.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10825.178

Here's what I'd learn. After I'd been arrested, the police had searched my car and found the hard drive, flash drives, and psychiatric evaluation. Something else that was curious. A half-empty canister. He had planted a gas can in my car at some point without me knowing.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10840.498

I'd been in my car all night, so either David knew he was going to burn his house down before I went to Walmart, or he planted it in the few minutes I was in the police station. I told Terry about the gas can being planted and he wrote down some notes. The police had searched through the contents of all flash drives and discovered the conversation between David and his partner.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Except, as predicted, they accused me of writing the messages and therefore linked me to a kidnapping. The text file never specified Katie's name, but they claimed Katie's kidnapping was the most likely scenario since I knew about it and was therefore involved. Despite this evidence, however, the prosecution didn't feel that they could convince a jury without more evidence.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10875.005

So Katie's kidnapping wasn't planned to be laid against me as a formal charge, but they were searching for evidence. They'd also tried to open the contents of David's hard drive, but found that it was encrypted, just like I had. They'd send off to a lab to be analyzed for whatever data could be salvaged. The medical report was classified.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10890.943

Do you remember, real quick, do you remember in Saw, I think it was 7 or 8, when, what was that detective's name, Holloway, the one who turned out to be helping Jigsaw?

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Hernandez. Yes. Actually, I was going to say David, but Hernandez would be the better fit. He's in David's pocket. So he's just going through the evidence locker, executing people left and right.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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And then we're going to get a text, like a wall of text being like, remember kids, you can trust officers, but sometimes an officer, maybe, but yeah, whatever. Medical report was classified as inadmissible because it pertained to an individual who did not consent to the dissemination of its contents. As a citizen of, oh my gosh, it keeps explaining stuff.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

10948.722

As a citizen of the United States, you can get control over who can look at your medical records, right? Denying its use in a courtroom is a right in certain situations, including this one. David had decided to exercise that right and deny access. As a result, the prosecutor could only charge me with possession of someone else's medical records without permission.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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That was a serious crime, apparently. Terry had also been informed that the identity theft case was being combined into the charges against me. The credit card companies had done their own investigations and were filing criminal charges against me for fraud. Why would they do that?

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Because a technical investigation to the origin of the registration for the fraudulent cards found that the reporter himself, Xander Jones, had indeed filled out and completed the registration forms from his own computing device. In other words, they traced the IP address of who had filled out the registration forms on the cards online and found that my computer had been the one to sign up.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Which means that they were accusing me of signing up, spending all my money, and then reporting fraud, also a major crime. The empty of my bank account was also pinned on me. Again, they claimed he was trying to commit fraud by filing a false claim at the bank. The police had finally gotten the security tapes from the convenience store where the ATM was located. There were three gangles.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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One camera was above the door, one was above the register, and one was in the far corner of the store opposite the ATM. The tape showed a man in a dark hoodie walking into the store. The video was grainy, as you would expect, but despite that, a large symbol on the back of the hoodie could be recognized. The man in the hoodie walked up to the ATM and pulled something from their pocket.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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The prosecution claimed it was a cell phone, since the timestamp on the camera matched the timestamp with the login to my bank account. The figure looked down at it for a few months before typing into the ATM, blocking the screen with their body. The money spat out. He grabbed it and walked toward the door. The camera in the opposite corner from the ATM was able to catch a glimpse of their face.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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It was grainy, but the prosecution compared it to the pictures from my Facebook profile to claim that it was just enough resemblance to him and me. Compared to David's pictures, it could have been him, too. I'd argue that point with the prosecutor pretty fiercely.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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So, no, you could do it in a phrase. Those three paragraphs could be, the ATM camera footage was too grainy, so it couldn't be used. That's it. That's all you need for that. But it needs to explain everything to us twice so that it can then have room set up for when it instructs us on how, like... you know, ATM identity theft work, stuff like that. So that's why it's doing all that.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I feel this is greater to me. The more I imagine it was like commissioned by like a internet safety, like commission, like a stomp out bullying kind of group. It makes it that much more fun. When I was done with my outburst, the prosecutor told me that the investigators had also found a hoodie with the same logo in my apartment. Then they played their Trump card.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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The bank had been logged into from the IP address assigned to my own cell phone during that time period. Regarding the fire, which was the main accusation against me, they had decent evidence. The gas can was one and the voicemail was another, but there was even stronger evidence. When I first arrived at Walmart, I parked near the front doors in view of the cameras hanging off the building.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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They clearly saw me drive away when I was heading to David's house. When I came back, though, I had parked in the back of the lot intending to be away from the other cars while I slept. The cameras could barely make out my car parking in the back lot. I was too dark to tell if it was even a vehicle, the prosecutor claimed.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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So realistically, I had my own testimony to support the fact that I got back to Walmart at around 6 p.m. I should add that it took about 15 minutes to get to David's house from the Walmart, just so you can understand the time frame. Fire crews had received a call at 6.04 that David's home was on fire. They had raced over immediately and found the house burning brightly.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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David had been found trying to lift his mother up from the ground in her bedroom. They'd brought them both out, and it was discovered that Mrs. K was already dead from suffocation. David had been rushed to the hospital with a few minor burns and smoke inhalation. He had yet to explain his version of events to police.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Firefighters had filed a report stating that the fire had been started from the middle of the living room where a puddle of gasoline had ignited. The flames had spread through the house. Traces of gasoline were found in various rooms, making them believe that the suspect, me, went from room to room and splashed gasoline around, just like in the movies. The random side comments are so funny.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Just like in the movies. And it also concluded that the fire had been started sometime before it was called in because of how much damage had already occurred by the time they arrived. I know that David had set an alert on his phone that was linked to the app that he installed on my phone. When the GPS read that I was at the house, an alert would be sent to his phone as a text message.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I could only guess that he jumped in his car, left work, spent all the way home. That's why I think the time was close. I'm telling you all this detail. I'm telling you all this detail so you can see just how hopeless I felt while I was in a jail. I was there for two whole weeks when it was the same accusations over and over. I really started to just give up.

CreepCast

I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I remember sitting back and thinking about what he meant. The first thoughts that came to my mind were about tripping him occasionally or hiding his toothbrush every time I went to his house. My young mind didn't fully understand how serious David was being.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Yeah. Cause the omniscient person in the story, the one writing it said it cannot be fixed. So therefore it cannot be fixed. And also like the rule of thumb with writing is if you're bored, assume your audience is bored as well. Right. And I do not know who's writing all of these details. Like, wow, this is riveting, you know?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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It was written nine years ago, so 2016. So, uh, no. Oh, okay. How old's Boroska? I think it's older, I'm pretty sure. Ten years ago, yeah, so. So, yeah, no. I have no idea why people liked this, aside from, like, the reason I like it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I don't know why people legitimately liked it, but... During the first few days, I asked Harry about how he could prove that it was David specifically who had committed these crimes. He frowned and told me I should be more concerned about being proven innocent, period. Not on pleading it to another man. By the end of two weeks, I was ready to just plead guilty rather than fight.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Plead guilty to murder. To murder someone in a fire. The arraignment went poorly. No charges were thrown out that had been placed against me. I would list all the crimes I was charged with, but I don't remember their exact phrases and I'll know I'll get it wrong. Well, hasn't stopped you before you get the general idea though, that it was over.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Bell had been set at $5,000, $5,000 for burning someone to death. Bail gets set at $5,000 for like DUIs. Yeah. Whatever. Okay. which essentially guaranteed I'll be stuck in jail for a while. I'd already contacted my parents out of desperation. They would try to raise money for family members and friends, but couldn't pay immediately. Okay.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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His mind was running three tracks above mine, so I didn't know what I was getting into when I said, Okay, I'll try to ruin your life, but I dare you to try and ruin my life as well. He smiled was a new found enthusiasm. And I smiled back.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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After three weeks, I was very depressed and not eating much. They tried to cheer me. Also, you burned someone to death and you have all this stalking and planning and they're willing to give you a bail, especially a bail that low. What? Okay, whatever. I already contacted my parents out of desperation, blah, blah. After three weeks, I was very depressed and not eating much.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Terry tried to cheer me up by showing me parts of arguments he was preparing, but nothing could cheer me. I thought about Katie a lot, Clark and Ivan, and I missed my parents. you know, Katie, the woman who's been kidnapped this whole time. Also miss Clark's first hearing in the graffiti case.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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So I had no idea how that was going, which made me feel guilty that I couldn't support him during the time I was at jail. Hernandez only came to visit me once. It was during the third week. I jumped off my bed and ran to the bars.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Did you find anything on Isaac? I've been clinging to the hope that Isaac's body would turn up evidence against David. I just wanted to nail him for that one crime. Just one. I wanted it so bad that my hands would shake when I thought about it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I didn't do it! It's also funny to imagine that Hernandez believes everything about David manipulating his life for years and doesn't believe that he would frame an arson case on him.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I'm Hernandez. I'm Hernandez. This is my character. Exit scene. Three days later, as Hernandez had said, they came to move me. After dinner, I was kept and let out the doors to the police cruiser that would drive me up to the county jail two hours away. Two hours away to county? My word. How big is the county? No shit.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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named the protagonist of the story after themselves because the protagonist of the story is named Xander. Don't like that name either. So I think this is a throwaway account for the story. However, that would be fun in my attempt to find the author's real name. There is a website.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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The two officers who drove were polite to me, but instantly cranked up the radio when we got on the road. I could barely hear myself think and was starting to get frustrated. I'd always hated car trips without my own music, and now I was stuck in a two-hour ride with my hands cuffed behind my back and a radio blasting music I didn't like. Yeah, that's your problem.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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We were about an hour in, and I was ready to scream. I stared out the window, trying to find something interesting to watch and focus my mind on. We were on a two-lane highway with no other cars in sight. It was getting late, so looking back, I figured people were home for the night, and that's why it was so dead. My view of a nice lake was suddenly obstructed by a big gray truck.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I tried to find something else to look at, but then noticed it was getting dangerous. The clothes started like, please tell me that they're going to stage a heist to like, that David's like ramming the police cruiser. But then noticed it was getting dangerous. The clothes started laying. I looked up and saw that it was an armored truck and it had the same logo as the company David worked for.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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The panic was instantaneous. Something gripped my lungs and kept me from vocalizing. The truck slowly neared the side of the police cruiser before pressing against it. The cop shouted! The cop who was driving slammed on his brakes and the other cop dropped the radio he was reaching for. The cruiser did slow down fast enough, however. The truck nudged it off the road.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I braced for impact as we rolled down the grassy slope and slammed into a tree. My seatbelt had held me in place, but my head ached when I rammed it against the driver's headrest. The two cops were unconscious, lying at awkward angles. Neither of them had their seatbelts. I started yanking at the handcuffs, trying to reach my seatbelt to undo it. I reached the red button and pressed it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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When I turned back around to wriggle out of the loose seatbelt, I saw David King walking down the slope towards the car.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I feel like this doesn't go ahead that I'm having fun. So this would be the, that would be the more normal response. Like just,

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I cursed, turning to reach the door handle with my cuffed hands. No such luck. The doors were locked from the outside to prevent prisoners from opening the doors on their own. See, look at that. Look at that. In the middle of this moment, it can't just be the door was locked. It's the doors were locked from the outside to prevent prisoners from opening doors on their own. Like, thank you.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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That's really what was on my mind.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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It's ridiculous. Okay. David got closer and closer until he was right outside the car. He shot a smirk at me. You clearly don't own an air fryer.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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That's pretty accurate. This does play out almost to the degree as one of your comedic three-minute cartoons, like the level of absurdity this guy goes to.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Because no, no, your whole thing is taking like normal situations and making them like insanely over the top. But this guy is doing that and making it serious. Tell me I'm wrong.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Okay. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I love it. All right. No, don't do that. Don't give me the all right. I love your work. You're a great artist. You shot a smirk at me and opened my door. I tried to back away, but he grabbed my arm and tossed me out of the car. I felt the dirt with a gasp. I sat up a little and saw that he turned his attention back to the police car.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I saw one of the cops beginning to stir. David opened the driver's door and pulled something small from his pocket. With a quick motion, he stabbed the cop in the neck. Blood spurted out and the cops started screaming and gurgling, grabbing for his neck. I think I screamed too, but I can't remember. You know what? Sure. Why not? He closed the door and walked around the other side.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I could see the other cop was moving, but I couldn't tell what he was doing. Apparently he's reaching for his radio because David yanked it out of his hand and set it on the car's roof. Then he stabbed that cop too. Both of them were unconscious in seconds. Go get up. He threatened walking towards me. I didn't bother trying. He walked over to where I sit and went behind me.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I tried to face him, but he kicked me lightly. He knelt down and I felt him scratching the metal on my handcuffs. I was confused, but said absolutely still. Nice to see you again, Xander. Can you do it in the Green Goblin voice for me? Nice to see you again, Xander. Thank you. He said, walking to stand in front of me. I watched him with true fear.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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His entire demeanor was different from the night he graffitied his house. He was changing. When I didn't answer, he laughed. He was twisting the small object in his gloved hands. I noticed through the blood that it was a crudely crafted shiv about the length and width of a finger. I told you. I'm not going to kill you, Xander.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He walked behind me again, and I felt sticky blood on my fingers and hand as he pressed a small shiv against my hand. Now, here's how this works.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He stabbed the driver and he's... David cut off, mimicking the call he'd make. Goosebumps ran up my spine.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I nodded, too terrified to speak. Get up. He commanded. I struggled with my feet rolling in the dirt to get up my knees and stand.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He said, moving towards the police car. I followed. He opened the police door and put his hands against the officer's neck. I flinched when he flicked blood at me, splattered across my jail suit and face. I almost threw up.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He motioned for me to turn around, and I did. He pulled the handcuff keys off the dead cop and unlocked the cuffs. I rubbed my wrists. They were sore and marked from the crash. I considered trying to get the shift from him and attack, but the idea of going with him in his car to play other games terrified me. David had set a backpack next to the car and now set it in my hands.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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My jaw shocked as I put the backpack on and started heading towards the setting sun. The forest looked dark and menacing. I looked back when I was partway through the trees and there he was. He leaned against the car, drinking from the coffee container one of the cops had brought with. Shuddering in shock and absolutely terrified, I walked on into the woods. End of part six. Okay. Okay.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Just what does that mean? Hernandez charged a lot of money, but said you have to give it to him too. Like I'll let you kill these police officers, but cut the kids some money, you know, throw some money his way. When you frame him for murdering two cops, I guess it means anybody can be bought.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I, it's just like, just like, what is, what is Hernandez's character that he's like, we'll give the kids some money before you murder the two officers. There's no such thing as character. It's just us having a crazy time. He's, he's like, Oh, I'm going to hit a cop car with a armored truck and then frame you for stabbing them to death.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Oh my gosh. And then he's like leaving his evidence by drinking the cops coffee just to look especially evil. Top comment on the part six is this is literally the best series I've ever read on no sleep. My favorite part is that it doesn't rely on the paranormal to be scary. It's just so creepy by itself. Where did they make these people?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Like don't show who left that comment, but what kind of person is like, Ooh, so creepy. Like what? Well, you know what? Now that I say that, I assume a child, I assume someone who's young, so that's fine. But otherwise, oh my gosh. Okay. All right. Part seven. Hi everyone. Sorry. I haven't replied to nearly as many comments as in part six. I've been busy, extremely busy.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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So much to do today to prepare. Get back to where we left off. I honestly don't remember most of the night after the car crash. I only have a glimpse of memories, and I won't try to coherently express them here. I got my bearings back after I'd slept off the shock. My higher functions kicked back into gear after I'd gone to a grocery store and bought a small amount of food.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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The amount of hunger that shock can induce is extreme. I'd rifled through the backpack and found exactly what David had said. Shoes, a pair of clothes, $2,000 in cash, and hundreds of 20s, and a road atlas booklet. I still have the atlas and use it when I'm moving on. I know there are self-dyeing kits that cost way less, but I know where to do it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I knew I couldn't stay in this town because David would know exactly where to find me. I had no idea how long this truce would last, so I had no intention of staying here one more night. I bought a bus ticket to an adjacent state and arrived only a few hours later. The town I chose was larger than the one I had come from.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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This was intentional so I could have anonymity and a better selection of services for the homeless. This town had a soup kitchen that I could use to cut down on costs as well as a homeless shelter. I knew I couldn't live long on the already dwindling $2,000, so I started going to the library and searching online for odd jobs.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I had to find something that wouldn't run a background check, if at all possible, because of the manhunt that was probably going on for me. I saw nothing about it in the news yet, but it had only been a day. After a week of searching, I found a job at a seedy telemarketing place that paid cash under the table. You'd be surprised how many of these there are.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I hated the work, but it was out of the sun and making some money. Before I found a rundown half-empty apartment complex to live in and pay weekly, I slept in the homeless shelter. I could have just stayed there and saved a lot of money, sure, but I hated going there and avoided it as long as possible when nighttime came. The money I spent on the apartment as well was worth it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I had some semblance of a life set up and now I could get the real work done. I'd gone to the mall and bought the cheapest prepaid Android phone. Okay. Android phone that had signed up for a monthly subscription that gave me unlimited data as well as texts and calls. I'd need to find a store that would pay cash and top up every month.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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But it wasn't an expensive plan and I needed internet when the library was closed. During the days, I'd spent my time in the library with a cheap notebook I'd bought doing more research similar to what I'd done in the Walmart parking lot. I also spent a lot of time working out and trying to get stronger.

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Oh, before I had the apartment, I paid for a gym membership and showered there instead of at the homeless shelter. I decided to keep the membership and use their machines to get a more effective workout. Just working out in the midst of this is so funny. Like that matters. The plan at the time had been to stay alive and away from David and the cops.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I stayed inside the day the news broke of my escape in the other state. The police finally admitted to needing help in finding me and went public for a request for information. They listed off the crimes I was accused of as well as a request to question me in regards to two dead policemen.

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I wrote down every detail of the investigation, though none of it proved useful other than the background knowledge. I kept up with the sporadic news releases so I could stay as far as the cops as possible. For the next six months, I stayed in the city. During that time, I learned a lot.

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Living on a tiny budget, home repairs when the landlord wouldn't fix something, hiding when you suspect you're being followed, and navigating the streets at night all became second nature to me. I also continued to study computers and networks. I am by no means any kind of licensed professional. I learned by deciding what I wanted to know how to do and then practicing over and over.

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what did you, okay. I, as soon as you said that I threw the headphones off, haven't heard anything you've said since I didn't, I don't want to hear whatever you've said since. All right. Just, Oh gosh, dude, that's, that would be, that would be a great way to start to run someone's life. I'd have to sit on a ring, like one of those little cushions.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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One day I was at the library when the news was published about me. David fucking King was suspect of murdering the two cops. I was ecstatic. I couldn't believe my luck. David King had finally made a mistake that cost him, you know, using his own truck to ram a cop car. The news story did not specify why the police suspected him, but I didn't care.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I mean, he drank from the coffee cup. Like it's everywhere. It's all over the place. And 30 minutes is forever to hang out at a homicide scene. Long time. Yeah. Yeah. Roll of thumb, like military. Like when you're clearing through an area is 90 seconds. Don't say in an area where you just shot people, 90 seconds. Cause reinforcements will be there. That isn't a war zone. 30 minutes.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Like it's civilian world is like an eternity. My word. David was going to get what he deserved. A month passed with still no news on whether David had been captured or not. I found myself tempted to call Detective Fernandez and ask what he knew, but I didn't. Why?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Maybe, but David was lying and Hernandez is actually a good guy. If I talk to him and tell him how I feel, I don't know. I honestly, I honestly have no idea why he would even say that. The next sentence as well too. I learned a lot of self-control and risk assessment during those seven months. Risk analysis was built in my daily decisions. What are you talking about?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Just don't contact the guy who sold you out. Where do you, okay. After checking for news on David for the third time in a week, I decided that I would no longer be a bystander waiting for David to be caught. I decided to begin actively hunting David. Since I knew he was good with computers, the internet was the best place to begin looking for traces of him.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I searched hundreds of forums scoring for a list of keywords that I thought David would either post for or look for. I won't include that list here. In only a couple weeks, I found one of his online accounts on Stack Exchange. I took notes of everything he commented as well as his account activity. Fortunately, he had kept the same account for several years.

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Granted, it was under a pseudonym, but he kept it. He still uses it today, actually. I just checked. He was logged in several hours ago when I wrote this. Once I found one account, it held clues to many others. He slipped out information accidentally that I could use to locate his other accounts. Posts like, I've asked this question on this forum and got no response.

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Now I'm asking it here with link to accounts reveal yet another goldmine of data for my study. I spent weeks gathering pseudonyms, post records, and IP addresses he used. Anything I could find with the tools I had available. Some pseudonyms he had used more than once and others he created as throwaway names. The research gave me invaluable insight into the way David thinks, talks, and acts.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I got to know him on a level I could never have hoped to understand him just from being his friend in high school. It made my hate for him grow, not diminish. I didn't only check the regular web either. Some people claim that deep web is a terrifying place where you get killed at every turn, but if it isn't, you don't act stupid. I installed Tor. It isn't if you don't act stupid.

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I installed Tor and began doing the same data mining in the deep web. The results were fantastic. I found catalogs worth of information. I was able to identify a lot of his false identities online and then map them to make... Fake social media pages he had created for them that he might need to cover up. And all this came because he insisted on using the same username over and over again.

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Why did he do that? Because he wanted people to know who he was when they interacted and respect him. Weakness. Well, isn't he also just like, he's probably just leaving breadcrumbs because he wants the guy to fuck with him. I'd imagine. Yeah. One day, just for the hell of it, I sent him a message as myself to one of his accounts. Why would you do that? I made my email address visible on purpose.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Stop, stop, talk, stop, talk, stop, talk, stop talking, please. I'm begging you. Okay. Um, that you literally unlocked a repressed memory for me when you said that. What? What do you mean? Of something I read one time. Oh, my gosh.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He'd need it. Spam mail started instantly after that. The response was so childish and brash that I was smiling that whole day. I knew that I could get to him. I also tried calling the Psychological Institute where David's records would be. If I was lucky, I could get my hands on another copy of his evaluation, studied it with my new eyes. There was no such luck, however.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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David had called them and had told them to send copies to anyone because he was the current victim of fraud. How ironic. I was able to use his accounts that were used to track down his location. Sometimes he used a VPN and sometimes he didn't. Recently, last week, he moved to a nearby city. He seemed to be following his own instruction to his partner to move around a couple of days.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He was jumping from city to city, but not crossing the entire country. Every time he moved, he was making a snake-like trail through the country. Went over to his town he'd moved to and walked down the streets for hours hoping to get a glimpse of him. It was just my luck that he walked out of a grocery store just as I was walking in.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He didn't notice me, but I followed him back to where he was staying. For a couple of days at least, I knew where he was. Next few days were spent in surveillance. Watched him day and night, following him everywhere. Saw no signs of Katie being with him, though, which made sense. His partner only came to visit once. He stayed for only 10 minutes before leaving in a car I hadn't seen him arrive in.

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Blew my only opportunity to follow him since I had no car of my own.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I think. So they're just housing her. She's like in an Airbnb. Yeah, yeah.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a massive manhunt for her. There should be. And there's also apparently a manhunt for him, but he still can sleuth around and stuff like that. And this is coming from the guy who was such an expert survivalist that the first thing he did was got a job in a gym membership to places that require ID and cameras and stuff like that. So... Uh, yeah. Brilliant. Yeah.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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When David moved on, I followed him. I slept on the streets again. I'm willing to let him leave my site. I followed him around and learned so much about it from this routine and habits. I learned so much about my enemy and my nemesis that I was finally ready to confront him for the last time. And now everyone, we come to the crux of the story.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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This is the focal point that this entire series has led up to. Hello, David King.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Oh man. I know you're reading this. I see you check it during your morning coffee routine at Starbucks. It took you a few days to find it, but I knew if I told the story through to the end and gained enough popularity, you'd find it. The more people who became interested, the more likely you were to see it. And now here you are. I'm sitting here watching to see your face when you read this part.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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This has been the buildup of the entire series. I wrote all of this for this one moment. You've read every comment. I've seen you scrolling through them and opening sub comments to see what they say. You're very invested in what everyone has to say. And the one thing you can clue from the comments is this. Everyone here hates you. Every last one. Hundreds of people now hate you.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Many of them have offered time, talent, and cunning towards your complete destruction. I have refused their help until now. I want Katie back. All my stalking hasn't told me what really matters, where she is. So I'm using this thread to get to you. Either you give Katie back or I release everything about you to all these people who hate you.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I know aliases, addresses, phone numbers, comments, admitting to illegal activity, social security numbers, driver's license, passports, online account names, everything. The police will have it all too. I've been tracking you for so long, David, the first few lines of every post where I said, for example, that you almost found me. They were lies.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I've been watching from afar during the entire publication of these posts right now, as I'm about to press a bit, you just bought a sandwich at Jimmy John's the meatball sub. It's currently Saturday, July 2nd, 7 32 PM. There's your proof that I'm nearby. Convince jet, bring Katie to Wells park at 10 PM tonight and leave your partner behind.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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If you don't show, I'll release all the information I have dedicate the rest of my life to updating that information and releasing it to anyone here who wants to do something about it. I've set up a time release of that information. It will be automatically posted via private message to everyone who ever commented on these threads, and they will spread it even further.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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The time release will occur at 3 a.m. tonight unless I'm there to stop it. You need two people to stop it, each one with their own password. No, I won't tell you who the other person is. For everyone else here on the thread, I will have another post up in at least 48 hours. I'm giving myself a time buffer to respond in case David tries anything stupid.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Can we go back to the story now? Sure. I had hoped it would be a great way to relive my boredom with life. David stood up and punched me in the leg as hard as he could. I shouted at him, mostly out of surprise. He just laughed. The dare starts now! He said, grabbing his shoes. We are no longer friends. We are nemesis. He opened my front door and looked over his shoulder. Good luck.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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If I don't write an update and the information has been released, you'll know what happened. You all have asked what you could do to help me. If you receive the information, do what you need to. See you soon, David.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Oh, man. This is so... This is it, though.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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So, cheers. Cheers, bud. Brother, we made it. We made it here together. It's always me and you. Alright. Well, I'm back. Hi, everyone. I'm alive. I, well, I'll just start telling you what happened. I'm starting to shake as I even think about writing everything down, but I have to finish this. After I posted my last update, it was go time.

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I've been preparing for this event for so long that it was hard to believe that I had just hit submit. I couldn't go through and comment to everyone that part seven was up. Sorry, I had to see David's reaction. I put my phone in my pocket and watched David from across the street. He was eating dinner, just like I said in my post.

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His phone clearly went off because he perked up his head and grabbed his phone from the table. I'd seen his phone go off whenever I'd post before, so I knew he had set an alert. I watched his eyes scan the post with interest. Then his eyes slowly widened. I knew when he reached my favorite part because his gaze shot up and looked around the restaurant.

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He wrapped up his sandwich and quickly walked out of the restaurant, his eyes scanning the street while still glancing at his phone to keep reading. It was a very satisfying scene. It makes me smile just thinking about it. I didn't follow him home. Instead, I waited for the inevitable email. Do you want to know why David was so scared of my information release?

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He was scared because the internet was his safe haven. He was powerful there. We had our dare conversation, and for so long after that, I was the computer illiterate one, and he ruled that domain. And now I had managed to track him in his safe place. Before, I had been weak and an easy target for his games. Now that I had seriously fought back and threatened him, he was worried.

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That email came while I could see him walking away. Hello, Xander. Bravo. But I'm not going to meet you in public. To be honest, I posted Wells Park online because I figured he would want to change the location if it was a public place, and I didn't want to release the real address online. I didn't want anyone crashing the party and getting hurt. Sorry for lying.

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I'll be apologizing for lying a lot by the end of this post. I told him that I'd email him the new address 15 minutes before it was time to meet. He didn't respond. I didn't want him to have the address too early and show up to set any traps. He really should have countered with the location of his own, but he didn't. I stood up. Time to go to the warehouse and wait.

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The location I'd chosen used to be a warehouse of some kind. I didn't care what it had been used for, only that it was abandoned and unguarded. If David tried anything stupid, which I thought he was going to, I didn't want any more innocent bystanders in the way. I took an Uber to a suburban area a few blocks away. When the Uber left, I walked to the warehouse. When I arrived, I was already...

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It was already almost 9 p.m. Not completely dark yet, but getting there. Walked around the perimeter of the warehouse, looking for any sign that David had beaten me here. There wasn't any sign that I could see. I approached a side door and pulled a key out of my pocket, unlocked the chains from the door, handed and stored them just inside the door as I entered.

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The soundscape changed from an ambient evening in the city to a tomb. Wait, he just owns a warehouse?

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get that or maybe it's just like an abandoned one that's where you want to eat or something i don't know but he has the key so i don't yeah whatever it's too light at this point the factory had a single floor that was one big open space high above it catwalks ran along the rafters all leading from the warehouse manager's office which was a metal cube suspended at one end of the warehouse i would pay a lot of money if he like the lights come on and david has katie suspended over a vat of acid

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I hope you work as half as hard as I will. Once he left, I just sat there rubbing my sore thigh. Okay, I thought. If he wants a war, he'll get a war. That night I had laid awake trying to think of ways to make his life harder for him. My ideas were all so childish and useless compared to what he would later throw at me. Too embarrassed to list my ideas from back then.

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And like a really crappy, yeah. A really crappy rendition of Duel of the Fates starts playing. Exactly. And he does. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

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or the other alternative is this all turns out to be uh the joker origin story the killing joke where like he kicks him into a vat of acid and he comes out and he's the joker and like the city water yeah i forgot to tell you the city i was in was gotham gotham yeah i made my way to gotham that'd be really cool

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all right so it's literally like the warehouse industrial ending of like a superhero comic yeah uh shelf scaffolding that had been abandoned broke up the empty space crates and pallets were strewn across here and there making hiding places i'd previously come and strategically arraign them in case it came down to a firefight what

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I would assume if not, then you give me tons of information before this, but then it's just like, by the way, I'm not going to tell you I have a gun. That was my little surprise. That's also when I had put chains on every door. There were four entrances into the warehouse, not including the windows near the ceiling. I had chained them all except the one I entered through. That was my funnel.

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If you've ever gone hunting for live game, you know what I'm talking about. Okay, you don't have to go hunting for live game to know what a funnel is.

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You have to hunt elephant to understand the concept of locking every door except the one you want people to enter through. There was nothing left to do, but wait, now I said to be, it's funny to imagine that like our authors equally as insane, like they're both just like completely inept people. Yeah. There was nothing left to do, but wait, now I sent him the address at nine 45.

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rattling of the front door alerted me that he was here he was a half hour late which was an attempt to unnerve me the door jolted repeatedly but the chains held it shut it was dark now the only light steamed streamed in the windows from industrial style street lights outside how am i supposed to beat you if you won't let me in the hair on the back of my neck rose despite all my preparations it was time this is literally like this is literally like airsoft fatty and his friend

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yo, that's actually a really good dude. That's like a perfect one for one of like how seriously they're taking this.

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And this is like the level of circumstance that would call for seriousness. But what if they just made all that? I told you not to go full force. Yeah. Yeah. Literally dude. Oh man, this is awesome. I, he opens up and he's like the door opens and David's floating on a glider. David tried all three doors. He skipped over the only one that was unlocked until he absolutely had to.

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He knew what a funnel was, but he had no... He also must have hunted live game. He knew what the funnel was, but he had no choice. The windows were too high and resulted in a very high fall once he got in. The side door silently opened and in walked... David fucking King. I stayed where I was behind a wooden crate stacked with pallets. If he came in shooting, I didn't want to be an easy target.

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I don't know if this is the author or not, but there's a website called Zach.Fish, and it's a guy named Zach Fish who has this whole post where he says that, "...I dared my best friend to ruin my life is a massive online interactive misinformation awareness project accompanying the release of a 10-episode web series based on a story from r slash nosleep."

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I wish I could say I remembered the day David turned against me for real, but it was so subtle that I didn't notice right away. To my face, David acted completely normal. While we were at work, I would sprinkle popcorn over a section he had just cleaned up and pointed out to him. He would just laugh and say, Is that supposed to ruin my life? Then he would clean it up.

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I said just loud enough to be heard. I'm so very impressed with you, Xander. Completely unexpected. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, lighting up the wall behind him. He began to read. Fuck you, David.

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hold on I gotta I gotta push my chair out of the way we're oh all right I'm half standing for this this is too good this is art oh my gosh all right literally slow clapping into the room well done oh my gosh oh it'd be so funny if it was like David stepped in on a landmine and exploded the end

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david knocked on the door behind him and it opened literally mob bump on david knocked on the door behind him and it opened in shuffled katie her face was red and shimmering with tears duct tape had been wrapped around her entire head several times covering her mouth her wrist had been similarly wrapped a band of tape also tied her ankles together but had enough slack that she could take small steps a thick arm was wrapped around her neck as a tall blonde man with extremely curly hair guided her into the room

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I SAID TO LEAVE YOUR PARTNER BEHIND!

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I didn't respond. Damn it. God fucking damn it!

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She cried out. This is literally like that. If this was in an anime or like a Batman comic, it would be too cheesy. Right? Like the level. She cried out as best she could through the duct tape faltered, but the blonde man held her up by her neck.

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Oh God. I stood up. My hiding place was off to David's left. So I walked in a semi circle until I was directly in David's line of sight. Come closer. I step forward until we were a couple yards apart.

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I expected him to do the same to me, but he didn't. His lack of visible retaliation made me bored again, so I stopped. Looking back, I suspect that behind my back he was sabotaging my image with our other coworkers and our boss. Out of the blue, my boss called me into his office and told me that I was fired because I wasn't doing a good enough job.

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David shrugged. Before I could process what was happening, Bro, this story keeps getting better. This is the best thing I've ever read on the podcast. David shrugged. Before I could process what was happening, he pulled a handgun from his pocket and shot the blonde man in the head.

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it is beyond the realm of it is like Saturday morning cartoons on steroids he collapsed dragging Katie with him Katie gave a muffled shriek and untangled herself from his body dragging herself backwards along the floor she backed into the wall and stayed there eyes wide David looked down at the body before slowly turning his head to me my turn It finally hit me how in over my head I was.

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I might understand David King, but I could never, ever match his sickness. It occurred that I could die that night, despite David's rules. Show me the data.

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I tried to hide my shaking hands as I pulled my phone out. I went into my email drafts on a throwaway account where I had saved a copy and emailed it to him. I sent it to you. David smiled reassuringly. Fast as a lizard, he spun around and snatched Katie off the floor. She screamed as he stood... She screamed as he stood her up and held her in front of him.

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I pulled my Ruger SR-45 handgun out of the concealed carry holster I'd worn and tried to get a clear shot. He was too fast and he had caught me by surprise, so she was in front of him before I'd even lined him up in the sight.

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oh my gosh he held the gun to her he held the gun to her head with one hand while opening his phone with the other my mind raced trying to figure out the next steps David had waltzed into a hostage negotiation that I had arranged myself and took over he took his time reading through the data dump his expression changed between surprise and a smirk repeatedly well now he said putting his phone away and slipping his now free arm around Katie's neck

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Katie gasped as he suddenly gripped her neck tight to repress the muzzle against her tipple.

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He said, looking up at the manager's box.

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He said, nodding his head towards the stairs to his right. The door he had entered from had a set of grated stairs off to the right that led up to the manager's box. They went up toward the back wall, then turned to the left straight into the side of the manager's box. Another set of stairs should have been on the other side mirroring these, but they had been disassembled and laying in a heap.

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David acted sorry I was leaving and we promised to hang out again soon. I left thinking I could make this something good and get a real job. That dream died and I ended up at a McDonald's instead. After I'd been at McDonald's for a month or so, my parents confronted me. They asked me if I had been stealing cash from their wallets. I'd never stolen a cent from them, and told them so.

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I kept my face to David as I walked towards the stairs. I kept my gun pointed in his direction, and he kept his muzzle against Katie's head. Katie was sobbing and watching me. When I reached the stairs, I slowly backed up them. David followed once I was halfway up. At the top of the stairs, the door to the office stood.

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To the left, a grated walkway led over the floor, spreading into catwalks that sprawled the entire place. I opened the metal door to the office and backed in. The only furniture in the room were two heavy wood tables. The rest of the office was bare. A thin slit of a window overlooked the warehouse floor.

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David pushed Katie into the room with his arm still around her neck and shut the door behind him. I followed him with my gun, standing against the opposite wall where the second door leading into the office was. The office was big enough that we were still a few yards away from each other.

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I stood my ground. I wanted to take a shot, but didn't want to risk him being faster than me. I was confident in my aim, but not my speed. Put it down. In an instant, the gun had left her temple, fired a shot into the floor, and returned to her head. She sobbed, and the heat of the barrel in her skin must have hurt. I'm not fucking around, Xander!

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Slowly, I set the gun on the floor and kicked it in his direction.

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My face answered him. What did I even mean? Of course I did.

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Woo! I tightened my jaw. I refused to admit he was right.

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They backed off, but only for a week until my mom's debit card went missing. They confronted me again, this time very angry. They accused me of withdrawing several hundred dollars using my mom's debit card. I have no siblings, so I wouldn't have been anyone else in the house. It turned into a screaming match, and they demanded that I move out as quickly as possible.

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You're a sick fuck! The door behind David slightly opened. I'd oiled those hinges for hours, making sure they made absolutely no noise.

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He started to pull the trigger when he was tackled from behind. Katie tumbled out of his grasp as he tried to use both arms to catch himself. His gun went off, but the shot hit the wall. Katie rolled away from David's reach. David started to get up, but the assailant was on their feet faster. David, on his hands and knees, looked up at the attacker.

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Clark cheered and then punched in a downward arc into the side of David's head. David dropped to the floor, but he was still conscious. He grabbed Clark's legs and tore him to the ground. I raced forward and pulled Katie out of the scuffle. I dragged her out of the door before getting her to her feet and cutting the tape of her hands with my pocket knife.

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This wasn't time to get the layers off her head. She was wide eyed. Run! Go outside, the cops will be here soon! I turned back inside to go help Clark. Not a romantic reunion, I know, but there was still a psychopath in there. David and Clark were wrestling on the floor, throwing punches and grappling with one another. David was bigger and landed a few hard punches.

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I looked over my shoulder, making sure Katie was stumbling down the steps. I dove in, aiming for my gun that was just beside the scuffle. David saw me and kicked my legs like a tentacle out of the ocean. I tripped and knocked the gun into the corner when I fell. David suddenly shoved Clark off of him, practically tossing him off one of the tables. I watched as David jumped up and made for his gun.

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I writhed on the ground and kicked. My toes barely caught the gun and sent it skittering across the room. There were two guns in the room, both on opposite sides. Two of us and only one of him. Clark rolled off the desk and jumped into David as he ran for the gun. They both slammed into the wall. I crawled for my gun, which was just out of reach by a couple feet. There was another crash behind me.

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My fingers wrapped around the gun and I twisted around on the ground, aiming it in their direction. I had turned just in time to see David fire a shot into Clark. There was no hesitation as I squeezed the trigger. I struck his shoulder. He whirled to face me. I fired again and again and again and again.

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Even after he stumbled back against the wall and slid down, I kept firing just to be sure, just to make sure that, just to make sure he would never get back up again. My gun clicked to alert me that I had emptied the clip. Ten shots and everyone had hit. David fucking King. I exhaled and dropped the gun, letting my head fall back to the floor. My heart pounded.

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My whole body shook, but I couldn't rest yet. Shakily, I got to my feet and stumbled over to Clark. He was crumpled against the wall, clutching his left shoulder. Blood oozed through his fingers.

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He said, clearly in shock. That's when the police sirens could be heard. Get out of here.

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I rushed toward the door, stuffing the ruger back in my pants as I moved. I paused at the door. Thank you. I said, looking at Clark. Go! I sprinted down the steps and ran to the door furthest in the back of the building. I unlocked the chains of the door, pulled it open, ducking into the night.

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With my small cash of savings, I found an apartment near the local community college that housed college students. The rent was affordable enough for me, so I moved out within the month. I moved in and became instant friends with two of my roommates, Clark and Ivan. Our other roommate, Isaac, kept to himself and stayed in his room playing video games 24-7.

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I'd run this path over and over, making sure it was good enough for an escape in case something went wrong. I went to my previously established hiding place and hunkered down to stay hidden. I sent a text to the server my script was on and entered the password to cancel the info dump. There was never a second person. That was a bluff.

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There's no reason to release that information to you now since David is dead. I'm sorry. I really appreciate the level of support to ruin David, but there's no point now. I thought he'd still be alive afterward. Police will get it eventually as evidence though. Also tapped out, I am alive in the Reddit thread to alert everyone that I had survived. Then I collapsed into sleep. God. God.

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Thank you, Reddit. You've helped me remain positive these past few days and set this trap. It's finally done. I regret so many things about what I did and how I reacted in the past. I should have fought more forcefully before it came to this. I was too scared, though. and didn't really understand David, but now I do. Only now it doesn't matter because he's gone.

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From here, I'll continue to stay on the run. I don't plan to turn myself in until Hernandez says the prosecution's ready to drop all charges.

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I don't understand the Hernandez thing, but he was a good guy. He got paid off. Sure. But he made sure that, you know, um, oh my God, Xander got $2,000. So that makes him okay. Am I fucking high? Am I wrong? He let two people die and was culpable in this entire conspiracy. He gave him $2,000. So, you know, bygones are bygones. It's really crude of you to hold that against him.

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I think in my opinion. Hernandez is trying his hardest back at home to mitigate the evidence against me and all those charges. Clark's testimony about what happened last night should really help reduce the credibility of David's claims. Plus, the GoPros we set up around the warehouse won't hurt. We'll see that I lured him into a trap and then shot him to death.

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David's confession about his mother was a bonus I hadn't expected. Originally, we had intended to lock David in the manager's office for the police to find. Clark had called the police just before attacking. Circumstances had changed that plan. Some of you may wonder, well, what if David hadn't taken you up into the manager's office? We had a contingency plan.

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I didn't know I was prepared to kill until I had my gun aimed at David. I don't think I fully process the fact that I've killed someone. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel or act or think or anything. I feel like I'm acting the wrong way. Anyway, there's another part that will help persuade the prosecutor to drop charges against me. I lied before when Hernandez came to visit me in jail.

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I said he told me he couldn't talk about Isaac's death, but he did tell me they had found a video file on Isaac's computer from the day he died. He had been recording himself playing games for YouTube when there was a crash of silverware in the background. Isaac didn't hit pause on the recording, left the room to investigate. David came flying back into the room, shoving Isaac into the bookcase.

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He slammed the door and was on him in seconds. The assault lasted only minutes. David walked out, leaving the door wide open. So David didn't notice that he was being recorded the entire time, I guess. I didn't see the OBS on the computer watching me kill somebody. I'm a hacker. You think I'm supposed to know how cameras work, silly? I'm a hacker. I'm a hacker. The camera watched it.

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Life got good again because I hung out with Clark and Ivan frequently. David and I had stopped hanging out after I was fired from the movie theater. I had forgotten about him, but I had forgotten about the dare. Every once in a while, I would message him on Facebook or shoot him a text to ask if he wanted to hang out, but my messages were always ignored. Eventually, I gave up.

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And also, so that means that Hernandez had a video of David murdering someone, but still they had to arrest him, send him over.

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Not enough evidence, not enough evidence. Um, the camera watched him come back into the room with my pillow. He held the pillow over Isaac's body and hit it repeatedly. All the dead skin from my pillow fell into Isaac's body. That's not how that works. They found those traces on Isaac's body, but the video proved that I hadn't killed him. David had walked out and locked the door behind him.

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He made a mistake and had to check that what was running on the computer. All he saw was the game. Hernandez and I had been in contact while I was first on the run. I lied about that too. When I had first contacted him, he started crying on the phone, apologizing repeatedly. He told me that he knew if I stayed in jail, that I would at the very least lose a lot of time out of my life. What? Hold on.

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Okay. This is every time you try to explain something in the story, it makes it worse. When I first contacted him, he started crying on the phone apologizing. He told me he knew if I stayed in jail, I would, at the very least, lose a lot of time of my life while the trial went on, even if David was accused later on and more evidence came out. So, hold on. So, David...

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He had accepted David's deal and demanded that I had been given half the 15,000 he was paid. David, as you know, only gave me two, but Hernandez had hoped it would help me lay low and evade capture while he could successfully contest the evidence. He fully intended to report the bribe to the police. Hold on. So Hernandez is like, well, I don't want you to be bored in jail.

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So I agreed to get two cops killed in order to send you on the run after David, I hope holds up his word and doesn't kill you. Whatever. He told me, And after my escape from the car, the police were very suspicious about the circumstances of my escape. There were too many holes in the story. And Hernandez had been sure to point out every last one repeatedly to his boss.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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A lot of you pointed them out to paint from the truck, rubbing off parts, separating from the front seat for the backseat GPS of the truck market is whereabouts of the location of the crash in relation to the time. David said the alarm. Yeah. David who's super smart uses his company vehicle to Ram a truck off the road and thinks he can blame it on the guy in the back. Um,

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David had clearly been desperate to get me out of jail. He risked bribing an official and left a lot of his plan up to chance to get me out. David just didn't want to end the game yet. If I went to jail, it was over. Yet there were still so many ways he could ruin my life. His need for quick action led to mistakes. Hernandez also told me that he came to visit Jackson deterred up.

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He'd come home a couple days after I was arrested and was brought in for questioning. He had proof and witnessed that he had been staying with his family for a few days. Wait, who's Jackson? I don't know. I don't know. Oh, he's the roommate who disappeared for a while. Wait, so that whole thing, he was just gone? He just went to be with his family for a minute? Yeah.

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The guy we thought was dead, turns out he drove away from the house. When asked about the breaking and theft, he told a story. Why are we explaining this? Oh my gosh. This is like alien needing to explain all this. David had knocked on the door. Just as Jackson was finishing packing to go on vacation. He told Jackson that he was a friend of mine and he was helping me move out.

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Jackson left him in and finished packing. He was just walking towards the door with a suitcase. But David asked if he could be willing to help carry out the TV. Jackson agreed and carried it out with David. Huh? He then grabbed the suitcase and left to ask you, David, to lock up when he was done. That's when he started stealing everything and trashing our house.

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That's also when Isaac would have come out and been killed. It solved the riddle of why the door had been locked and not broken when Clark found the apartment stripped bare. Wait, police came in and did a whole investigation of the apartment and didn't go into the locked room that Isaac was dead in? No. Okay. There are still some questions that I don't have answers to.

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Within six months, I had a great life going. I was dating a girl named Katie. I had been promoted to crew trainer at McDonald's, which paid better, and my bank account was slowly growing. I only recognize this as David's doing when I look back, but an obscene amount of junk mail showed up with my name on it every single day.

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We haven't been able to figure out what he did with all the things he stole from us. We also don't know who the partner is. Hernando should know that in a few days and let me know.

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Also don't know how the key longer got on my computer when the tracking app was installed on my phone or how David was able to provide my social security number, driver's license number, and all the other accurate information to the credit card companies. The same goes for the fraud that was committed against my parents.

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I can't help but wonder if David had been in our house before the break-in and done all that. As for Clark, his disgraceful exit was a fabrication to throw David off. What? Oh. It was my idea to make him disappear from my life and take the target off his back. It was both to protect him from... What?

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Oh, it was actually a 40. So this is the ending of the usual suspects where we see the flashback of how he instrumented everything that happened. But he's just stupid. But it's stupid. Yeah. Disappear in my life, take the target off his back. It was both to protect him from David's rage and so that he could support me in the background.

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His mom did come and bail him out, but she was much kinder about the situation of worried like all moms do. When I messaged Clark to tell him my plan and posting the series, he immediately jumped to help me. And without him, I'd still be watching David and waiting for a good moment to strike. It was his idea to plant the information about hiding his bank information on scraps of paper around town.

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It was placed as a joke and a way to tell if he was reading the series. We wanted to see if David would go hunting for them. He didn't, but that was probably because he was on the run. We did all this to see if he would go for it. He did not, but he still probably read them.

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Good idea. Liked our little Easter egg hunt. Clark's arraignment didn't go so well. He's still being charged with the misdefeater for graffiti in David's old house. An expert was called to analyze the photographs and identify them as authentic and undoctored. Either David has someone else doing one hell of a Photoshop job, or he took pictures from angles that cut me out naturally.

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We are still trying to figure out how to resolve his problem. Yeah, all of this, Clark may face a $4,000 fine. Like, it's pretty serious.

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With Katie, I have yet to see her beyond those brief moments while confronting David. It's been only a few days for all of you throughout this series, but for all of us, she's been missing for a year. It's been a year? It's been a year. I thought it was been a couple months. Oh my gosh. I had no idea what David or his partner might have done to her during all that time.

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I don't know when I'll ever be able to see her again since I'm still on the run until the charges are dropped. If the charges are dropped, that is. I'm scared to see her. I know David did it, but I feel responsible. I wonder if she blames me. I wonder if she hates me. Maybe one day I'll know. What David said has shaken me. I spent a lot of time thinking about it today.

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He told me I was there for him and not for Katie. The guy who kidnaps people and murdering being like, we're not so different, you and I. And it worked. That, that I was after the dragon, not the princess. I've realized that he's right. Oh man. I've read a few of your responses and agree with you. I didn't write all that much about Katie during the series.

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If it had been about Katie, I would have written more. What? The fact that I let her go back and fight says volumes about why I set this trap. David was right. It wasn't about Katie. Katie was a result. It makes me feel guilty and dirty to think about it. Maybe it would be best if I never saw her again. She's not likely to want to see me.

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Magazines, credit card offers, vacation ads, and even physical letters from real people who claimed to be excited to be my new pen pal. I sorted through them every day trying to find some pattern. Clark and Ivan thought it was hilarious.

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Katie, if you're ever reading this, if you can ever handle it, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Once again, thank you, Reddit. You've helped me so much with your support, encouragement, and your unknowing aid in making this trap for David. I couldn't have done this without you. The last two years have been hell, but it's finally over. We ruined who, Hunter?

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Let's go! Story over. We did it. Oh, man. That might have been the greatest thing to ever grace my lips on this show.

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Wait, Hunter, do you have a, do you still have part eight pulled up?

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No, click on it. Look, Hunter, there's another seven part series. All from the perspective of Clark? What? All from the perspective of Clark. Hunter, we can't lose this. Hunter, this is important. We can't let this happen. Whoa, Hunter. Thank you guys for listening on Spotify and ranking us on Spotify, giving us a five-star rating.

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I dared my best friend to end my life part one. Thank you guys so much for sticking with us. I'm sorry. Hello, Reddit.

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When I came home late from work, they would sometimes toss the junk mail in the air like confetti as I walked through the door, cheering that the mail king was home. One day, I remember feeling sick of getting all this junk mail and decided to sit down and call every subscription to cancel.

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I hope you all have a fantastic rest of your day. He says, I hope you'll remember me. God help us. I wish I was there. He says, I'm here, and he says, I'm here because Xander is missing. Hunter, there's another eight-part series, and it starts with Xander missing. We can't pass that up. What will the people think? They'll be so sad. That was great. I loved it. I hope you all loved it, too.

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I recruited Clark and Ivan to help me, and we sat down with snacks one afternoon and started to crank through phone calls. In a few days, the tide of junk mail subsided and we celebrated our efforts. That only lasted a week. The next week, it started coming back in full force. There's twice as much as before, and even some pornographic magazines in the mix. Lucky. Not only did my... What?

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Okay. Not only did my physical junk mail increase, but my email became unnavigable through all the new spam messages. Google moved a lot of it to the spam filter, but there were still hundreds of emails that made it through. My email had been subscribed to websites I'd never heard of. Clark and Ivan were blown away by the new tide of junk mail.

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The event was dubbed Return of the Junk and became a great icebreaker for Clark and Ivan to introduce me to other people at parties. One day I was browsing Facebook's People You May Know section when I came across someone's profile that had my picture but a different name. The account was open for anyone to view and had a lot of porn posts, status updates full of swearing, and praises to Hitler.

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So this is like 50 different social accounts and a hundred places on the internet where apparently like I dared my best friend to ruin my life was like an ARG. What's some kind I, according to this, but it says based on a story from r slash no sleep. So did Zach fish, the guy who wrote the story is he's and sand or is Did he just make an ARG around the story? I can't tell. I don't know.

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Wait a minute. Hold on a second. Now what's all of this?

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Yeah, now it's just like a stranger that you're...

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So... Okay. It's kind of hard for me to get on board right now because it seems so... absurd for two people who were friends all of a sudden be like, yeah, I'm a very, cause it describes him in the beginning. It's being like a smart guy, an intellectual guy, stuff like that.

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It is hard for me to imagine someone who's actually good at things to be like, I'll dedicate my whole life towards torturing you for no reason, just cause you said so. Right. Um, but I think what the story is going for is that this guy isn't The guy who's torturing him isn't really a well-rounded, like...

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Yeah, it's like you miss high school? What are you talking about? You have a job right now.

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Yeah, our protagonist isn't that well-rounded, isn't the brightest knife in the drawer, so to speak. And he just so happens to be friends with this super obsessive guy. I feel like... I mean, I don't really want to like critique it and like, oh, what I would have done.

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But I feel like if this wasn't his friend and was more so just a guy he kind of knew, like say it's in a friend group and there's kind of a weird guy who comes around parties. And then one night our main character drunkenly is like, oh yeah, well I dare you to ruin my life. And like this guy who's like a social recluse takes it super seriously.

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I feel like maybe that would make it a bit more creepy or believable, but where it's his friend, I'm like, why are you do like, but if I imagine this is like an obsessive guy, sure.

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Yeah. I may just be being too harsh right now. I'll give it a chance. Yeah. I frowned when I clicked on their pictures. Most of the pictures were the same ones from my Facebook account, but there were some pictures of me that weren't on my account or anywhere else online. Keep in mind, I didn't remember my day or today, so I was feeling pretty creeped out.

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I hit the report button and let Facebook know that the account was a fake and went on my way. I think three months or so later is when more stuff started to happen. Katie and I are getting very serious and discuss moving in together. Junk mail still rolls in and I've started to just throw it away. Ivan has moved out to go to an actual university, so a new roommate, Jackson, has moved in.

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Clark and I attempted to befriend Jackson, but he's similar to Isaac and locked himself in his room most of the time. A new game became available for pre-order, so I submitted my email to reserve a copy. When I tried to log into my email to make sure the reserve code was there, I couldn't log in. I hit forgot password, and it asked if I wanted to use my phone number to reset the password.

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I pressed yes and waited for my phone to light up. It never did. I pressed the button three more times, but no text ever came. I tried old passwords I used to use, but none of them worked. I frowned, but eventually just walked away from the computer. I tried again a different day. I sat down on the couch and pulled up Facebook on my phone. A pop-up appeared. You've been signed out, it said.

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Then it jumped to the login screen. I thought I'd hit the logout button on accident, so I just typed in my email and password. It didn't work. I tried again, but it still told me the password was incorrect. My phone buzzed in my hand. Katie was calling me. I answered it and immediately became concerned. She was sobbing. Katie?

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We're far from done, sweetheart. It took me some time to convince Katie that it hadn't been me, but she relented when I showed her that I couldn't log in. I googled how to get my Facebook account back and contacted their help center. Thankful they were able to get me back into my account.

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Lots of links to porn sites have been posted all over my page by whoever jacked my account, so I spent time deleting all of those. I also spent time answering family members who asked about the strange content I had been posting. Awkward.

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Well, that's kind of what... I can't understand what the wording of this is because it says... I dared my best friend to ruin my life. It says it's a big misinformation awareness project based on a story from r slash no sleep. So that makes it sound like he's not, but does that mean this guy has like a 10,000 participant, according to the website, a 10,000 participant alternate reality game.

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It seems a bit crazy. If I right now DM'd my wife, I mean, I know they're not married in the story, but just the absurdity of DMing on Twitter like we're through and then being like, you've been together so long that you're considering moving in together.

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If you're about to move in together, I would just assume it was a joke.

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I will say this. I will say this. Credit to the story. It didn't do the misunderstanding thing where Katie's like, yeah, right, we're done, and hangs up, and then Katie exits the story, right?

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yeah yeah and also like just little stuff like logging into your facebook and posting porn like your mom's gonna see that you know your your extended family's gonna it's like ruining it's ruining your character with people yeah yeah it is like like as much as i was not a fan intro wise uh i am willing to hear the story out with the direction it's going so

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Katie also found out through her feeds that my Twitter and Instagram had been hacked. The accounts were posting hundreds of crude messages and pictures. Those two sites took a little more effort, but eventually I regained control over those two. Fixing my email took a couple days, but I got access again.

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Not wanting to repeat the experience, I made my passwords into really long strings of numbers, letters, and symbols. Each account had a different password. For anyone who has done this, you know how impossible it would be to memorize your passwords. I wrote them down on a sheet of paper and put it in my dresser drawer. I didn't intend to get hacked again.

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I'm telling you where I put the papers so you'll know how freaked out I was when Facebook signed me out again the next week. I checked my other accounts, locked out again. I shot Katie a text to warn her and then called the Facebook help center again. They gave me access to Facebook and gave me the same warning about making a long password.

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When I told them the type of precautions I had taken last time, they suggested checking my computer for viruses in case there wasn't key loggers collecting all the information I typed. I called the computer repair center and asked what I needed to do to get my computer scanned. They asked me to bring it down and they'd check it out.

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I had a desktop, so bringing it down required a lot of unplugging. When I got down behind the computer to unplug everything, I found a tiny USB stick that I'd never seen before. A friend tried to locate its contents on the computer. The computer said no USB was attached. The pure repair guy confirmed that the USB drive was a keylogger.

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He asked if my computer had ever been anywhere that anyone could walk up and use it. I told him no and he said he had no idea how it could have gotten there. He didn't charge me anything, just warned me to keep it on the computer. I changed all my passwords again, going through the motions to get my accounts back. A few days later, I received three, yes, three credit card bills in the mail.

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I still had the habit of skimming through the junk mail in case there ever was anything super important. I'm glad I did, because I might never have found out about the credit cards that were registered in my name. I called the credit card companies to inform them that they were mistaken. I never signed up for a credit card.

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parents and warned me about them so often that i'd been deterred from ever getting one before you comment and tell me i need to build my credit yes i know that now quick google search tells me what to do next i called equifax which is a company that calculates your credit score and tells creditors that's okay for you to open a credit card account place a 90-day fraud alert on my credit they said they would call me if anyone tried to open a credit account in my name

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And he based it off of an, a no sleep story. Maybe, maybe I'm so confused. Maybe there's a website bound. Look, there's a website called team Xander dot com, which I imagine is like the no sleep thing. Yeah, I don't like that. The web page doesn't work anymore. But when you try to load the web page, the URL changes to dared my best friend dot com. So, like, what?

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The dude at Equifax was kind enough to tell me what I needed to do next. He asked me to go online and view my credit report. If I saw any accounts I didn't recognize, I was to write them down and fill out a complaint to the FTC explaining the situation. Once I had that submitted, I was to file a copy with the police and create a police report.

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Then I had to take those two reports and call each of the credit companies that had issued credit to my identity to start the dispute process. I instantly felt very discouraged at that moment of effort this would require. It felt utterly insane to be required to follow all these steps just because I was a victim of identity theft.

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Clark was horrified at what happened and looked at his credit score. He was relieved when he came back clean. I made Katie check hers too just in case, also clean. I'll take a minute to tell everyone reading that you are entitled by law to one free credit report per year from each of the three credit score companies. That means you can and should check your credit three times a year.

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Clark and I set reminders on our phones to check the scores again in four months. I asked Katie to do the same. When I first found out about the accounts, I had called my parents to ask if they had opened any accounts in my name. If they had, I'd at least know who the culprit was. They told me they hadn't opened any accounts, and I warned them about my problems.

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They promised to check their credit score. Two weeks after I had called them, my dad called. They found 15 fraudulent accounts between the two of them. What the hell? I told them the steps he needed to take, and he was grateful for my help and warning. I know this is boring to read, but I want you to realize how insanely painful it was to fix all this shit.

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Seriously, watch your credit reports and have identity theft in the bud before it happens to you. I'd requested detailed bills from the credit card companies that had issued the fraudulent accounts, and they mailed them to me. The bills were full of online purchases. The accounts had been opened almost a year ago, and in that time, the thief had spent $62,000 between all the fraudulent accounts.

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I was pretty upset that in a full year, I had only just found any credit card bills in the mail. I must have been tossing them with the mountains of junk mail. Now I know that the masses of junk mail were deliberate, calculated, so the bills would blend in and hopefully get thrown away. The first few transactions were from stores like Target, Walmart, etc.

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But the further down I went, the less I recognized. One word stuck out to me. Bitcoin. I learned a little bit about it from my Facebook feed as I had some friends from high school who touted it as the next real currency. According to the credit card statements, several thousand dollars have been exchanged into Bitcoin.

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I started really researching Bitcoin and trying to figure out what it was and why an identity thief would want it. To make the explanation short, Bitcoin allowed my thief to take completely anonymous online... It was as if he'd gone to an ATM and drained all the credit cards into cash. I didn't foresee the credit card companies ever getting their money back.

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David now had a hell of a lot of cash he could use to ruin my life. I didn't know it was him at the time, obviously, but now I do. Guys, identity theft is a serious... God! Guys, identity theft is a serious crime and is very damaging to everyone in the economy. And while the theft had been bad, my life was about to get a whole lot worse. So I'll have time to write for now.

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I have to go and get some serious shit taken care of. Write again as soon as I can. My name is Xander and my best friend's trying to ruin my life. Want to take a quick break from the episode to thank today's sponsor, ZocDoc. I don't go to the doctor as much as I should, and if you are spending this much of your time listening to a podcast about fictional monsters, then you probably don't either.

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But really, I can't blame you, because everything from booking appointments to insurance to finding out what's wrong with you can be pretty scary. But that's where today's sponsor, ZocDoc, is here to help. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors. Choose the right ones for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment.

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We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty. That's everything from mental health to dental health, eye care to skincare, and much more. Most of us won't go to a restaurant without checking out the online reviews first, so why don't we take something like healthcare just as seriously?

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You can filter for doctors based on their rating, if they take your insurance, if they're nearby. And because of that, it's super easy to find a doctor that suits your needs. Plus, ZocDoc appointments happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking, and you can even score same-day appointments. You don't want to admit it, but you should probably see a doctor.

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So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash Creepcast to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Again, that is Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash Creepcast ZocDoc.com slash Creepcast to get in on this incredible offer today. Thank you all so much to ZocDoc for sponsoring the show. It really does mean the most. And we are back to the episode. End of part one.

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Look, I can... It is. That's honestly the biggest hang-up I have in my mind. I am now in my head pretending that David is just a random person. Yeah. Because it's way more effective and works better for me if he just accidentally said it to someone, like a stranger, right?

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All right. Part two. Hello again, everyone. I've had more time to write than yesterday. Sorry about the length. I'm trying to catch up to the present as quickly as possible, but also include enough detail so you can see how thorough David was being. I resume where I left off. While I was still trying to resolve the credit disputes with those companies, my car's windows started getting smashed.

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Also, hold on. When I look it up, it says that it is a movie? Yeah. When I Googled dare my best friend, it pulls up, it says movie and it has a cast listed, but then, okay, hold on the movie database. There's a movie for this. Okay. It looks like, yeah, it looks like in 2020 there was a movie for dared my best friend to ruin my life. And it was directed by Michael Morgenstern.

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The first time, it was parked on the street in front of my apartment. I woke up one morning to find the driver's window smashed and my car raided. My car was just a crappy Honda Civic, and I didn't ever keep anything expensive in there, but they snatched my stereo, which was shitty anyway, and I'll spare change in the car. Desperate much?

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I'm not taking that. The car thief doesn't want to even steal the creed.

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Legendary. That's hilarious. I like that guy who ever did that. I support him. I don't. Fuck that guy. I do. I'm his biggest fan now. I got my window repaired that day and decided to set aside some cash to buy a real nice stereo now that I had an excuse. The next morning, the same window was smashed again. Again, I had parked it in front of my apartment.

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I got that repaired reluctantly and started to park in the underground parking for the apartment complex. See, no one likes the underground parking because the lines are painted too close, so it's not uncommon for your car to get scratched up down there. I decided it was better than a smashed window, so I fought for a spot that evening. I know you're going to ask why I didn't call the police.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Mistakes, that's why. We all make them. You have the wisdom that comes with knowing the whole story. I didn't. Glass was all over around my car when I went down the next morning. It wasn't just the driver's window that was damaged. The front windshield and back windshield were deeply cracked. I spent some time looking at every car in the garage.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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No one else had so much as a scratch on their windows. What the hell? If some random asshole was out breaking windows, he was targeting me. I noticed the note after I'd gotten into the car. It was a sticky note folded up and slipped it to the ignition keyhole. I opened it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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It said. The phrasing was intentional. David wanted me to know it was him. When I saw that phrase, I remembered our conversation. That fucker. I went into a total rage and drove out of the parking lot, trying my best to drive with the correct windshield. I still remembered how to get to David's house, and I ran a red light or two to get there.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Parking in front of his house, I slammed the door shut and marched to the front door, held the doorbell for much longer than necessary, trying to breathe and remain calm. David won't help me if I show up shouting and yelling. His mom answered after a few minutes. David's parents held off on having a child until they were much older.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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As a result, David's mom was already 75, even though David was only 23. She said, opening the door and saw who it was.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I'll go and catch him at the theater. I said, backpedaling towards my car.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Perfect voice, by the way. I went to her contacts, found David's number, entered it into mine, and handed the phone back. Thanks, Mrs. K. I said, even if David was being an asshole, I'd always liked his mom. Anytime! She said with a smile, close the door. I called David immediately, but only got a voicemail.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Well, my dear friend Hunter, I think it sounds familiar because you and I attempted to read this story at one point. As a matter of fact, it is a story that we attempted to read, and I alluded to that attempt in a previous episode. And you immediately lost your mind.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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If you were going to say Michael Moore for a second, I was going to laugh so hard.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I said to his voicemail. I figured that being polite was the best way to get him to fix everything. In the middle of the workday, my phone buzzed. Hoping it was David, I stepped outside and answered. It was Clark.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Don't touch anything, okay? I suggested, remembering all the episodes of CSI that I binged on. We might be able to get fingerprints. I think I know who it is.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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an ex-friend I'll tell you when I get home I'm leaving soon I told the manager that my apartment had been broken into and he let me go home I drove home with my still broken windshields praying I didn't get pulled over for it when I got to the apartment the police were already there I walked to the landing where a cop was interviewing Clark and another was looking through the apartment the cop turned to face me are you one of the roommates this is Xander

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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No movie. Okay. It looks like Michael Morgenstern has done other stuff besides this.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

3134.183

Clark shot me a questioning look.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I said, handing him the folded sticky note out of my pocket. He read it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I explained, it looked like the idea went right over the cop's head.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

3172.334

I mean, imagine being a cop and you respond to a break-in, and he's like, well, I was talking to this guy about minimum effort, and now he's left me there. It's like, okay. Alrighty. Thank you. Okay, thank you very much for the note. You all have a lovely day. They don't pay me enough for this.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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was all he said, pulling an evidence bag from his belt and putting the note inside.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

3208.879

At that moment, the partner came outside with nothing to report. The tech arrived and started dusting, waited patiently, eager to see what was missing. You really should lock your bedroom doors.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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We agreed to ask them. Tech finished up and told us we'd know in a few days what prints he was able to find. The house seemed bare. Only the largest couch out of the three was left in the living room. The TV, which had been a 65-inch plasma, was gone. Food was missing from the pantry, and even the contents of the fridge were dumped on the floor.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Silverware was scattered around the kitchen floor and counters.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He had no idea how far David... Yeah, that's the plot synopsis. Yes. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. But does that movie exist or is that just a movie that started to go into production and is it not yet?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Well, neither do I. I said, walking to my bedroom. It was stripped bare of anything worthwhile. My computer, mouse, keyboard, computer chair, boxes of random knickknacks, bicycle were all missing. My dresser drawers were laying everywhere, my closet was clearly raided, and my bed covers had been tossed around the room. I heard bouts of loud cursing from Clark as he inspected his room.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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You took my goddamn Xbox, that son of a bitch! Feeling shocked, defeated, and numb, I sat on the bed. I called Kate to tell her what happened. No answer. Shot her a text.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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And stared at the wall for a while, thinking. David King had been in my house. He'd stolen my identity, my public image, now my things. It was time to step up my game. No, not my game. My life. Time to stop floating through life and start beating the minimum required effort. During the rest of the day... I hate that for it. I hate that that's the phrase for it. I hate that phrasing.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Minimum required effort. Thank you. During the rest of the day, it makes the story feel so Reddit. It says with a smirk, minimum required effort stepped up. Clearly, you don't own an air fryer. During the rest of that day, we learned a lot about plumbing. David had loosened every pipe he could find in the house. See, that's a funny prank. David had loosened every pump he could find in the house.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Clark made the discovery when our toilet unleashed a tsunami when he flushed. He spent hours cleaning that up. To fix all the pipes, he had to go out and buy tools because neither of us had any at the house. When my card was declined, Clark stepped in and paid. My decline card worried me. Clark and I went to the library and I tried to log into my online banking site. Locked out.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Shit, I didn't even bother retrying my password. We raced to the bank before they closed and I breathlessly approached the teller.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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The teller, apparently named Chantel, asked... I told her my account number from memory. She opened it on her computer. Driver's license, please. I handed her my card. She typed my driver's license number into her computer to verify my identity and handed it back to me.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Okay. So this... But this also somehow is related to like an internet awareness campaign, ARG. What is... Okay, all right.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Yes, fine, do it! I said abruptly. Clark watched me with worry and chair by the door.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I replied. She raised her eyebrows in a way she thought I couldn't see and started typing. After a few minutes, she looked up at me.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Clark and I went back to the car and drove to the apartment. Would have gone to the police department right away. The apartment was still flooding in places. Spent a few hours finding leaky pipes and tightening them. Took hours because we looked everything up before we did it to be sure we were doing it right.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Clark inspecting the pipes under the kitchen sink while I sat at the table and started my inventory for the police. It was already 9 p.m., so we were going to take it in the morning. Our local station wasn't open 24 hours a day. We knocked on Jackson and Isaac's doors, but got no answer. Either they weren't home or they were ignoring us.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Clark said as he tightened the pipe. You said you think you know who it is? Who's David King?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I said. I told him about the dares and the conversation that led up to it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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All I know is this. Yeah, let's just... Okay, yeah.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Then let's think of something to really destroy his life. Clark pulled himself out from under the sink and washed the grease off his hands.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

3595.382

Clark took me and his car to Home Depot. Bought two cans of black spray paint. Clark paid in cash. Okay. Where does this dumbass live?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Okay, okay, Jesus. I said, gave him the address, and he took off. We drove past the house to see if any lights were on. It was dark. Even the porch lights were off. Parked three blocks away from the house and started walking.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Yeah. Then thief. This is so juvenile compared to what David's doing. Yeah.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

3655.898

It's like, what the fuck? Let me ask you this. Do you think Clark's reaction? Okay. Yeah. A guy's basically college age living in a dorm together. And you find out that the guy who stole your stuff is someone, you know, right? Yeah. Is it unreasonable to be like, let's get him back?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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That would be the most reasonable thing. I think instead of versus just being like, well, why don't we like fight fire with fire? That feels kind of like gimmicky, but I would just break his legs.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

3708.502

If not violence, it'd be like, well, I'm going to the police tomorrow. You know, like that feels more reasonable.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I'm in full agreement with you. If this guy kept like shattering my like car windows and like trying to ruin my relationship with my girlfriend and stuff like that, it's like, all right, we're what time do you leave your house? Are you alone?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

3757.7

Yeah, I agree. When we were next to the neighbor's house, we ducked behind a fence and surveyed the neighborhood. All was quiet. No movement, no noise, no people. We stayed low and silently dashed to the front door of the house. I sprayed the F, Clark sprayed the T, and we worked towards each other. It barely took three seconds. We stepped back for a half second and examined our handiwork.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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The letters were three feet tall, easily visible from the road. Perfect. We turned and started to run towards the car. Then the door to the house opened. Glanced over my shoulder. David Freaking King. It's funnier with freaking. David Freaking King. Oh, shit. I hissed. Clark heard me and we sprinted full on towards the car. David tore down the sidewalk after us. Clark looked behind as well.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Oh God, oh God, oh God! Clark chained up with each step. He actually looked worried. So he approached the car. Clark had a realization. Just keep going! He tried to whisper even though he was out of breath. I locked the door. It'll take too long to unlock. And he'll know my license plate. Clark didn't have automatic locks. He had to use the key manually.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I agreed with his logic and we ran past the car as if it were just another vehicle. I looked back and David was gaining on something. I could just imagine this like dude, just like dead sprinting like like like the cop internator protector. Yes. Yeah, he's got like a pocket protector. He's dressed like the angry video game nerd, but he's like unblinking sprinting at like perfect speed.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He was gaining on it. Why don't you just, there's two of you turn around and be like, I'm going to break your legs. Why are they afraid of you, David? Yeah. Is David like eight foot tall and a bodybuilder?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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keep up Xander. And he like disappears. Yeah. They're treating him like he's like a God level threat that he's like a impossible being. And it's just a nerd. Like, yeah. Anyway, I looked back at David was gaining on us. It was too dark to see his expression. Hell. I didn't even know if he recognized me. I cried. I cried turning right into someone's front yard. Clark kept going straight.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I'm going to have fun. I'm here to have fun. I'm already confused, so I might crash out, but we'll see how that goes. Okay. I will say that normally the reason I try to look this up is because I want to be able to push people towards the author and be like, go support them here, stuff like that. But I can not figure out who's and sand is. Maybe it'll be revealed over the course of the story.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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When I reached the white plastic fence that led along the back of their property, I glanced backwards. David had followed me and ignored Clark. I scrambled up the slippery fence and dropped on the other side. I landed in someone else's backyard. I started running towards the front yard. A motion-detecting light on the wall went off, blinding me.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I looked behind me again to watch David scale the fence in half a second. Goddamn! When the hell have you learned how to do that? It's like a little Spider-Man. Yeah, seriously.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Holy hell! I rounded the corner of the house and smashed right into a patio table and chairs. The chairs clattered down and the table tipped over while my body folded around it. My heart was pounding as I untangled myself. That's when David grabbed the back of my neck and pushed me down, my face against the edge of the table.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Oh, okay. All right. That's the end of part two, part end of part two.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4033.931

If you imagine him as like a super powerful dimensional being.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4049.513

I'm imagining like angry video game nerd outfit, but he has like Martian Manhunter powers.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4073.122

I'm enjoying them, but I don't know if it's intentional.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4111.269

I don't, so I don't, I don't want that to happen to clarify for the audience.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4118.132

I don't want that to happen. I really don't want that to happen. But I would love it if like, what's it, David? David's his name, right? Yeah. If David becomes closer and closer to like an ethereal being, you know, If like he starts having nightmares about David, if David's like floating above his bed at night, if David like phases out of his wall and stuff like that, I would love it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Maybe check out the movie that apparently exists, I guess. All right, yeah, we'll just start the story. We'll start the story before I lose my mind. But yes, check out the story, check out the film, whatever you want. Hunter, my good friend, are you ready to get into it? I'm ready to have fun. All right, ready to have fun. I dared my best friend to ruin my life. He's succeeding.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4150.646

I would have so much fun. I kind of want thrilling.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4159.428

You know, like you mean like what you mean?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4171.791

Or a disease. I assumed you were saying that he would contract it in another way. That's where I thought you were hoping the story goes.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4228.038

I think... You know the Half-Life games, right? Yeah. I've heard of them. I've never played them. Do you know who G-Man is? No. Okay. So there's this recurring thing in the game that anywhere you're at, there is this figure in a suit who you can just see standing off in the distance, like watching you.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Um, and the idea or like the fan community idea is that everything that happens in the games is orchestrated by him. The G man, um, in my mind, that's how I want David to be. I want him to be like the puppet master, like just always in the shadows witnessing, um,

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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orchestrating some kind of thing yeah yeah that's what will make me have fun with it i think yeah it'd be like fucked up if like he orchestrated like i don't know like a new relationship or something and it turns out like the girl that he's dating was just like he like catfishes him exactly just crazy shit like that i would i would love something like that to happen yeah i just want to be more evil but let's get into it let's see part three all right part three um

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Hello again, everyone. So many positive replies. Thank you. I haven't smiled in months, and you're definitely all making my days easier. I love how almost every notification is giving me a countdown every couple hours. Remind me, eight hours. Thank you for making me laugh. Seriously. I needed it. Had a close call, and David almost found me today.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4310.978

Caught a bus out of town, which is where I wrote this. Now, we continue. Hello, Xander. out for a walk oh yeah because we also need just to preface again this is whenever he just got he caught him after he was chasing down yeah yeah out for a walk like he's a spider-man out for a walk fuck you i spat my cheek jammed against the table edge why so hostile why so serious

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4364.406

Okay. Like, honestly, just imagining this is like a super villain makes it better. Right. Yes.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4384.645

Yeah. I struggled to push my head off the table, but he was so much stronger than me. Stop struggling and listen.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

439.38

My name is Xander, and my best friend's trying to ruin my life. It started out very small, but has quickly grown out of control. I'm currently sitting inside a church using their Wi-Fi to post this story and taking advantage of the air conditioning. I'm posting this story in case, well, in case he finds me and kills me soon.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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That's what that, that is what I want because it's, it lost me in the serious route. Like the idea of this being a road. That's what I'm saying. Exactly. Exactly. And I think it's picking a road, but it needs to stay in this room. It needs to stay absurd.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He reached his left hand into his pants pocket and pulled out his smartphone. He tapped on it a few times before holding it up to his ear. It's me. He said when the other line picked up.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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And he's like, Clark can help you too. So Clark's in one building about to blow up and Katie's in the other. Exactly. He's like, it's time to decide. It's like in my head, 24, five. You remember that scene where in the first Spider-Man movie, when the Green Goblin's holding Mary J and the cart full of kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two Spider-Man little children.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4557.212

If you imagine David in the Green Goblin costume. He's in the full Green Goblin outfit. You have to be motivated. Oh, gosh. Then he held the phone to my ear. Someone was crying. Say hello.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

459.48

It's only a matter of time now, and I want someone to know what happened before I die. Is killing somebody ruining their life, or is that just murder? I feel like that's cheating. That's way too easy.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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David smiled, talking as if he asked me to eat my vegetables. Oh, God. Dude. No, you're not in it. Like I am. You need to come over here.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I need to get on my side of the fence. Katie, where are you? I said desperately into the phone. David took the phone away and hung up, sticking it back in his pocket.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4667.675

Yep. They're wearing pinstripe suits. Exactly.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4689.388

Now that you have Bitcoin, this story being written in 2012, we're going to see a great increase in four years.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4700.194

We might be part of the Italian mob, but we are very knowledgeable about the blockchain.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

474.908

Make sure we don't ruin their relationship, you don't lose their job, stuff like that.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4741.805

It's just like a woman is kidnapped being held at gunpoint. My credit.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4761.395

His eyes were dark and menacing.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4782.844

The sound of scrambling on the back fence alerted us to someone's presence. I shouted for help. David slapped me, but lightly. I didn't think it was like a little slap. You bad boy. Yeah, it's like a play. It's like, yeah, like it's a very sensual slap in my mind. Like, yeah, yeah. I tried to see who it was for my limited movement. Clark's face appeared over the fence. That's my cue to leave.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

481.231

Yeah, yeah. It has to be very Job. Like, you can't kill him, but you can just hurt him a lot, yeah.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4817.665

Okay, the author has to know, right? Yeah.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4825.192

Yeah, yeah. Like, writing stuff like, that's my cue to leave. That's my cue to leave. Yeah. This is very plainly for fun.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4847.269

Only fools are heroes. Yeah, only fools are heroes, Xander.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4868.635

Get out of here. Oh, man. You know what? I'm sorry. I was wrong to this story to take it seriously in the beginning. This is fun. I'm having a good time.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4887.904

And once we get Haley Welch, our plan will be complete.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

489.03

Job. Yeah. You know, the Bible character. Yeah. Leviticus.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4905.188

All right. Clark shot across the yard, yelling for David to piss off. David just stood there looking at me and waiting. That's when Clark caught up and punched him square in the face.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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David flew to the ground, releasing my head. I stood up and rubbed my sore face. David started to get up, but Clark kicked him in the side.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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A light went out in the house behind us. We both turned to look. I had the thought to hold David here until the police arrived. When we turned back around, David was halfway down the street. Clark started to take off, but I grabbed his, his arm.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

4949.502

Wait, hold on. If Clark is running down the street, why would you stop him? Because he only, or sorry, if David's running down the street. Yeah. Because David only said that Katie would die. If he dies, you would still get him arrested. You can still beat him up. Right?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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or something I guess yeah all he's done so far is like love tap him on the back of the head or whatever he's like in my in my mind it's like they turn around for a half second they look up and he's teleported down the street yeah he's not running he's standing there I expected him to definitely do some kind of Naruto jutsu and like puff into like a uh like a cloud of smoke and be gone yes yeah that's why that's what happened in my head yeah

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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We made a quiet decision to avoid the cops tonight. We wanted to file a report with them on our terms, not having to explain what we were doing trespassing in the middle of the night. We jogged back to his car and went home. We sat on the living room couch as I told Clark about David's conversation. Clark was staring dumbfounded at me.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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No, not to me. This is insane! Clark said, standing from the couch.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5059.323

He's become the Alfred to his Batman.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5077.887

Some people need, what was the line they kept saying? Motivation, the minimum required effort.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5086.293

Some people need minimum required effort.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5098.621

Xander's doing all of this in full Dark Knight cosplay.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5130.408

Well, no, in my head, Clark is Michael Caine. In my head, David is now Michael Caine. No, David's the Joker. That's the whole thing. He's ethereal. He's like an agent of chaos. I don't know how much detail I want to put here because it'll likely get slow and boring for you. We stayed up all night- Oh, I promise you it will not be boring to us.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5153.208

We stayed up all night long mapping out events, people, weaknesses, shrinks, everything we could think of. We filled half a notebook with all our notes. These were the weaknesses we could come up with that we could potentially use against Davin. So, number one, boredom with life. So we can make the game... Too boring to continue. Number two, his mom.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5175.721

If she knew what was going on, she might be able to get him to stop. I know some of you commented that we should kidnap Mrs. K and use her, but we were still very green and had no desire to do that kind of shit David was using. Number three, work. Just keep in mind, in the middle of all of this, talking about getting his mom involved and making him bored, a woman has a gun to her head.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5208.644

Yeah, like, literally, point three, work, get him fired and make sure no one would hire him again. Yeah, life ruined. That'll show him. Just through the phone, you hear, bam! Online accounts do the same thing to him that he done to me. Number five, police.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5242.392

What if we posted porn on his Facebook account? No! I can't stress enough. There's a woman with a gun. Yeah, exactly. All right, David.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5265.871

He's good. The Xander guy's good. All right, Xander.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

527.28

So make sure you can still get into heaven. I'm going to keep reading before you're allowed to continue. Okay. Two years ago. My friend David and I were sitting on the couch at my house, thoroughly bored. It wasn't a temporary boredom either. It was a resounding boredom with life.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5272.413

Five, police. If we could come up with hard evidence to get him convicted, the problem would be solved. Six, Katie. Since he had kidnapped Katie, this is said in the same tone as everything else. Since he kidnapped Katie, the police would definitely get involved. I could easily report my suspicions about David and they'd search him for the tiniest evidence.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5297.198

He is very passive about his live-in girlfriend literally being kidnapped by the psychopath.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5329.264

Oh, you have to technically be alive? Well, good luck being quadriplegic forever. Yeah, exactly.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5341.354

He's like paralyzed on the ground, like well played.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5380.274

It's insane that you're not black bagging this guy when he gets off of a shift at night. Immediately. And like, yeah. Like, how are you talking about hacking his Facebook account? What are we doing?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5410.747

No, no, he didn't say get arrested. He was like, you have to prove it. Like you have to get me arrested first. Oh, okay. I don't, I don't know why I'm with you. Like me, like if this was either of us, uh, I feel like this would be an eight hour ordeal. Yeah. But we're not having fun with it because the way to have fun with it is to imagine that he's Batman with Alfred. No, no, no.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

546.814

We both worked full time at the local movie theater, making minimum wage and cleaning up after idiots who couldn't keep popcorn and soda in their mouths. We graduated high school two years prior and had no plans to attend college. Life looked bleak for us. College didn't sound appealing, work was annoying, and the little free time we had was blown on video games and YouTube.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5481.874

Because, Hunter, this is sportsmanship. You must play the game.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5489.199

Enjoy the game. Well, we have to be motivated. Yes, of course. We have to be motivated. We have to have minimum required effort. Minimal required effort. That's all the weaknesses I can hit him with. Online accounts, work, and Xander's girlfriend who's currently held hostage. Right. Then we looked at his strengths and things to look out for. So number one, prepared.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5512.385

He obviously had a timeline he was following and knew what he was doing. To his time, the junk melon credit fraud incidents had all began long before I felt the effects. This meant that there could be other traps David had set up that would go off like a time bomb sometime in the future. Three is physical body.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5529.753

It was clear from tonight that he had been working out a ton and practicing, possibly training for his job as a security guard. Nope, nope, nope. In my mind, David is like a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure character. Yes. Like just a head on top of a pile of muscle.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5548.403

Like whenever he- Yeah, like the legs in front of each other.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5561.961

For his money. He had a lot of money now from what he stole from me and used fraud to receive. Five, his friends. If he'd made a friend who was willing to get involved in a kidnapping, that there were two or possibly more psychopaths to worry about now. Six, his knowledge. He knew how to use fraud without being caught yet and had computers or at least hired someone to do it for him.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5585.165

We had no idea what other dangerous knowledge he might have, so we made a list of things he could know that we should learn how to counter. I won't list it here because it was pretty long. Number seven is willingness to break the law. It was clear that the law was not part of the rules of the game for him. He was either unafraid to be caught or confident that he would never be.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5608.757

So why don't you just counter all of this by being like my strength? I bought a gun. I don't have that gun and I'm going to use it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5635.006

I like your idea of pulling out his teeth and like cutting his toes off. I think you were really onto something there. I was proud of you.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5652.777

Okay, so after we looked at David, we looked at ourselves. First, our weaknesses. So first weakness is knowledge. This is literally a Batman game plan. Knowledge. We didn't have nearly the amount of knowledge David had.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5668.872

Not just knowledge about how to do things like fix a pipe, but also knowledge about David, who his friends were, where he worked, who he talked to, etc. We'd have to start learning like crazy to try and catch up. Two is money. I had no money left. Clark was limited because he just spent a ton on the plasma TV that was just stolen. Three, a home and car.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

568.049

We both still lived with our parents too, which made dating somewhat embarrassing. Looking back, I'm sure we were suffering from mild depression on top of everything else. I like that line.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5692.532

This is so funny that you wouldn't get other people involved. Three, home and car. David knew where we lived. We planned to sell our lease ASAP. He also knew our cars, but there was nothing we could do about that until we moved and had money to buy a junker car we could use when necessary. No matter where we moved, if he could find our car, he could follow us home. Four is Katie.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5717.137

If David decided to change the rules and use Katie's motivation, we might have to rethink everything. Five is fear. Clark and I knew that deep down David terrified us more than he had angered us. I would have rather walked away than exact revenge. We were also afraid and unwilling to do a lot of things David had already done. So finally, we have our strengths. These strengths are for one, the law.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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The law was on our side so long as we kept things legal. Two was Clark's credit. So far, David hadn't targeted Clark like he targeted me, so we could take precautionary measure to protect him. Three is jobs. We had jobs and could therefore earn more money. Unless David found a way to get us fired from them. We needed to come up with a way to protect our jobs from David.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5761.251

And four, the FTC police force and government. That is the same thing that the first point was. Government bodies with all their vast resources were working for us on identity theft. Why do you still care about the identity theft? Yet, I feel like the story doesn't realize it included that he's going to kill someone. I think that is like...

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5781.894

that it jumped the shark of it there we thought it was likely that they'd be able to link david to my identity theft looking at all the strengths and weaknesses of both parties side by side it looked like an even match up on paper no it doesn't that it doesn't even look like the way at all the only strengths you listed is that his credit card wasn't stolen but you're still poor and then two of the four things you listed is the police who aren't helping you yet you

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5807.851

we have the law on our side what the fuck are you talking about point three is literally jobs we have jobs that does not help you with the guy who is going to kill a woman what are you talking about Just thinking about trying to fight David made us feel like we were up against an impossible enemy. This whole thing is worded like in Dragon Ball Z. Like, we have to fight Cell. He's so strong.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5836.25

Or like, Frieza's more powerful than us. Like, yeah. We sat down to eat breakfast and continued talking over what we would do. Both of us called in sick to work so we could start preparing. All right. I posted our leases up for sale on Craigslist. I said, putting my phone down. Clark was sniffing the air with a confused expression. He leaned over and smelled his cereal.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5867.373

He dumped the cereal in the sink. Man, I would love it if it's like, it was nerve gas. Damn you, David. I love this. I, this is so fun. This is awesome. Clark pulled out his phone and called Equifax. Why are we still talking about the identity theft thing?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5899.93

So I actually, do you remember how, when the story started, I found that it was connected to an ARG or, Yeah. And the ARG was to raise awareness for identity theft online. So he used the free trial of Equifax.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

590.504

In hindsight, the whole daring him to ruin my life thing, maybe a little overkill.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5914.337

I have the sneaking suspicion that this entire story is like trying to teach the motive about you need to be safe online, which if they did that with these Superman level threats, that is so that that makes this so much better.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5932.153

if like the person writing this is like, I'm going to teach kids about the dangers of having your credit information stolen, which is why I think they keep coming back to details about credit information, which to be fair, it is horrifying, but it's fucking ridiculous. It is insane to include details of that. It tied into, I know I cannot stress this enough. A woman with a gun to her head.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5957.554

All right. But before we help Katie, let's go check our credit real quick. Literally like, I think these next several accounts are about credit card theft. And I think it's inserted in here as a PSA to try to get the kids savvy on like identity theft, which makes it, which makes this story 10 times better to me. If it's like in earnest as a PSA, you know, it has to be.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

598.499

That was, dare I say, a bad idea. A little bit.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5981.431

It'd be like, if we, if we read a whole, like berries in the window with like the giant forest, if at the end, smoky bear stepped out and was like, only you can stop wildfires.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

5999.417

Okay. Like listen to this. Clark pulled out his phone and called Equifax, letting them know that he wanted to freeze on his credit for 90 days. When those 90 days were up, he would call again and again until this matter was resolved to protect his credit. His credit card with a $3,000 limit was still accessible to us, but no new credit could be applied for.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6020.667

He then went on every account he had online and changed every password to random gibberish. He signed up for an online password manager and put his passwords in there. The password manager worked by only storing an encrypted file on their server. He would download his encrypted file from the password manager website, read or write the file, re-encrypt it and then send it back to the server.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6042.468

The server only held the encrypted file, no passwords. Even if this company got hacked, the hackers would only have a bunch of useless encrypted files. They could crack the files with time. Sure. But it is the best we could do. Does that not sound like it's a random insertion to like, this feels like a pay to pay you.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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But instead I'm in a church about to die, apparently.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6060.003

This feels like it feels like a paid ad for like, like identity theft, but it's about a guy who just decided to like kidnap his friend's girlfriend and You know what? All time creep cast story. This is incredible. This is one of the best things I've ever read. The only account he didn't put into the password manager was his bank account information.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He wrote down half the username on one small scrap of paper and the other half on another. He did the same with the password. He intended to hide the level of detail. He intended to hide them in safe places around town. If David got a hold of Clark's bank information, we were dead in the water.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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While he did that, I finished both of our inventories to hand over to the police as soon as they opened for the day. Once the station opened, we were going to head over, hand in our inventories, file a police report for the burglary, and recommend David as a police suspect.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6118.891

I also planned to point them to my identity theft police report and state that I suspected David to be guilty of that as well. Once we had the police report, we could go to our landlord and request for the locks to be changed, using the police report as evidence of the break-in. The tech had told us that the door had been opened regularly and not forced.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6138.237

That meant David had somehow made a copy of our key. As it got close to 9 a.m., we got into Clark's car and drove around town. He got out at four locations and hid his scraps of paper somewhere. He knew it had to be somewhere people didn't touch for months at a time and wouldn't be damaged or moved by sprinklers, storms, etc. I don't know where he hid them, but he assured me they were safe.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6158.527

After they were hidden, we drove to the police station to file our report. Wait, he wrote his bank account information on pieces of paper and spread them around town? Yeah, like horcruxes. Why? Why not just keep them?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6179.628

I know the idea is like, oh, he broke into our house once. He can do it again. Keep them in your pocket or like put them under the floorboard like there. I'm operating under the assumption, but they're not operating under the assumption that David's like a God and like he can phase through walls and stuff. Okay. Now it's just an Easter egg hunt for him.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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we waited patiently for an officer to see us once we were called over we took a seat and told him about the break-in and that a police report had been started and we were now turning in an inventory of our stolen things we have a suspect for the burglary okay who his name is david king he used to be a friend of mine but not anymore what happened he asked writing the name down recently i had my identity stolen i suspect he was also behind that

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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This is great. I hesitated. I didn't know how to explain the situation. If anyone could think of a better way to explain the situation to a cop, let me know. I only said, we had a major fight and he threatened to ruin my life.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Handed him our license and wrote down our phone numbers in the file. I'll be right back. He said, taking the license to make copies. We looked at each other for a minute, taking a deep breath.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Five minutes passed, then ten. Then the officer came back, two others at his side.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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The officers flanked him and pulled him to his feet. I stared at the cop... I stared at the cops in bewilderment. Clark's eyes were wide.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6348.126

Just the idea of a cop. Like you go to a police station and you're like, this guy stole my identity. He is, they haven't mentioned the kidnapped girlfriend, which is insane. He stole my identity. He has stolen all of my money. He broke into our house. And then it's like the cops like weird. It looks like last night, that same guy that they're saying did all this said these two were at his house.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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We better arrest them. It doesn't make it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6384.59

A person is kidnapped. He's kidnapped a woman. He told me he kidnapped a woman. He holds them at gunpoint. And then the cops still like, were you at his house last night?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6393.496

Okay. Arrested. Okay. Trespassing is not a joke. Young man. Look, you know what? If you trespassed to my house, I would kill your girlfriend too. All right. You ever think of that? My mouth dropped open. Son of a bitch.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

642.78

I like that. No, that's cool. I think that's what you should call it now. Yeah. Aflac, a depression medication. These life circumstances blended together to create the perfect storm for what I now have to call my reality. As we sat on the couch at my parents' house, channel surfing the TV, David asked me if I was bored with life. I responded in the positive, and he sighed.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Clark shook his head at me ever so slightly. No, I wasn't going to let him take the fall for this. Why would Clark even do that? There's two witnesses. Why is he like, no, I need this. I want to be a martyr. Let me be a martyr.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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One of the officers started reading Clark as Miranda rides while they cuffed him and walked him toward the door leading to inmate processing.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6473.0

Jesus Christ. Oh, that's so, that's so funny to like, it looks like you were coming here to discredit him. And to do that, you ruined your credit for two years and broke into your own house that you filed a report about last week or two days ago, whatever, all to discredit him who you came to his house last night. Makes a lot of sense to me. Yeah. Doesn't that seem fishy?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6498.735

Doesn't that seem strange to you that your life was ruined for two years leading up to you vandalizing his house? Sounds suspicious to me.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6509.977

I guarantee, I hope it goes in the direction that David has paid off the police. With the local police departments in his wallet.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6528.86

Okay. Another thing I just thought about, there are so many mentions between the laws on our side. We have the police department, the FTC, we have the police and stuff like that in combination with the credit report thing. The more I read this, the more it feels like a PSA for like kids, the police officers, your friend stick by their side. They know what they're doing to blah, blah, blah.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6554.503

You know, like it feel the more I think about the credit card scam, uh, PSA, the more it makes sense, which honestly it makes this maybe the greatest thing I've ever read. I mean, I'm in hell. This is awesome. Okay. I can't, I can't. I'm ready to go into part four. I'm ready to trudge through this.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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That whole interaction with the police, where it's like he gets arrested right away, is the same level of in Jeff the Killer, when it's like, oh, you stabbed a kid? Looks like it's one year in juvie.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I just don't know why you don't lead with that. What would, what would happen? Is there like, okay, can you, because I mean, like just look at any case ever where there's been interrogations. It's like, okay, can you stay here? And then they go pick up David and they're like, we want to bring you in for some questions.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

6618.33

Uh, and then like, they would have both of them in the station and get it sorted out. They wouldn't be like, oh, you trespass. Well, that negates years of torment. Yeah. Oh gosh. Yeah. Sorry. He, sorry.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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So, and also where the cops like, Nope, Nope. The person clearly stated it was one individual. Even if you're confessing on the record to being there, we're not going to believe that.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Okay. Part four. Are you ready? Yeah. Hi, everyone. I've been exploring today. New city, new layouts to learn. I'm getting good at memorizing cities. What? Thank you. What the fuck are you talking about, man? I couldn't be happier right now. I've enjoyed this so much. Thank you all. Just the choice of language sometimes. Thank you all for your support and suggestions.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Once again, these are all past events, but I'm taking your ideas into consideration for how to fight back here in the present. A few of you have offered to help in other ways, and I appreciate the offers, but this is my fight. I've ruined so many other lives by involving other people. No, David is mine to ruin, even if I die trying. Or even if Katie dies trying.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Also, I've looked back over it and realized I forgot something. But now I've forgotten what it was. So forgive me if I make a correction in the next part. Another thing. I try to talk to as many people as I can in the comments unless my reply will have to contain spoilers. But live events have forced me to limit that interaction because of time and the sheer number of you. Forgive me.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Now I'll continue. So from what I looked at previously, this was like a whole ARG, right? Like David had an account, right? And he had an account and they were talking to each other or something. I think, yeah. Yeah, that's great. Oh, that's so good. I want someone to make a whole... If there's any YouTubers watching this who need a video essay idea, if you could find the whole ARG...

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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and make it, that would be stellar. If it's good, I'll shout you out. That's my deal. I'll shout out one. I won't shout out everyone. If it's good, I'll shout you. If it's good, like if you, if it's not phoned in, if it's not like, yeah, I think there were some, uh, some people involved anyway, like comment, subscribe. You know what I mean? Like you got to try. If you tried, it's good.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I'll shout one out. If you could figure out the whole web of what this story is. Cause I'm so invested.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I called Clark's mom right away. She lived a few hours away, so she said she'd be here around 5 p.m. The county we were in didn't allow online payments via credit card, cash only, so she had to physically drive down. In the middle of the phone call, I missed a call from a number that wasn't in my contacts. I called back and they answered immediately. Hi, I missed a call from this number?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Come on. It's like the story is treating the kidnapping at the same you would like a speeding ticket or like a break-in.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Yeah, this isn't the same level as like having your credit card stolen. My word. You fucking moron. Good God. He's like, God dang it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I just want to say that. So what this is, I feel like the writer has kind of written himself into a corner or their self into a corner with... like jumping the guns so quickly on jump, like a kidnapping and murder threat that it's just like, um, yeah. she's not with me. I have to go. You can't counter that. Like that's way too big of a jump to make it the store.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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But it's funny to imagine that Xander is also committed to the game now that he's like, well, if Katie's alive or game's over, unless I have that minimum required effort, motivation that I should. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta have it fair play. Fair play. I hung up the phone. I didn't want to talk to her about Katie because I was about to file her missing person report.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I walked over to the reception desk.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Excuse me, ma'am. A while later, I was sitting in one of their interrogation rooms after asking for a private meeting. Detective Hernandez sat at the opposite end of a metal table. My two case files were on the table in front of him. He was glancing through them, trying to familiarize himself with the break-in report. A tape recorder sat between us.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He pressed a button on the recorder, and the tape started rolling. He stated his name, my name, my case numbers, the date, and the time.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Yes? The detective said, looking over one of the folders, he had both cases on the table.

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Finally. That caught his attention. Pulled a pen from his front pocket. When was this? He asked, setting his pen on a blank page.

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motivate you to do what I told him about the dare conversation then about the junk mail my online accounts the credit card fraud my parents credit being targeted my car windows the break-in my bank account being emptied the graffiti incident Katie's phone call protecting Clark's bank and online accounts and now Clark's arrest Hernandez Hernandez took copious notes it just keeps escalating

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I said in defeat. I watched Hernandez carefully trying to gauge his reaction. I couldn't tell what he believed.

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We talked through everything for an hour. Nothing I said was useful for finding Katie, but Hernandez sat back after I finished.

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It's so funny. That's awesome. Wait, what does he mean? They're flimsily connected. David said, I kidnapped Katie, and then the phone call happened while you're with Katie. If Hernandez doesn't believe that happened, that's fine. But if he believes the phone call with Katie happened, then the guy who said it's Katie and held the phone up would be liable, whatever.

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I'm putting way too much critical thought into the story that clearly wasn't made with that in mind.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He said, looking through the folder again.

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Here we go. The PSA. The bank credit card PSA. Yes. Here it is. Here it is. I'm coming in.

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Then drive down yourself right now, goddammit! I yelled. He stood slightly, his hand reaching for his belt automatically. Calm down! He's gonna shoot him! He's gonna shoot the fucking kid! Automatically, he's like, drive down yourself, and he's like, he's gonna shoot him right there in the... Calm down.

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This is like a 15 year olds understanding or no 12 year olds understanding of how like police work and departments. Yeah.

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Yeah, that is what sounds like it. The next line addresses that, but like, I don't know. Just... All right, I'm going to behave.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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No, no, no, no. I dude, from what I know of our viewers, they are there with me that this, this is a delight. We're randomly through the story where they're getting arrested and stuff. And it takes a break to tell us about the security of ATM brands and cameras. Oh my gosh, dude. Incredible. This is awesome.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Hernandez sighed, sitting back down and breathed heavily.

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I said, I cried a little and Hernandez let me sit in silence for a minute while the tears rolled down my cheeks.

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I returned a while later with the detective. Detective White came in and probed to me with hundreds of questions. Where did she work? Who were her friends? How long have we been together? When did I last see her? Do her parents know? Questions like that.

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When I brought up David in the phone call, he leaned in and asked me the same questions about what I'd heard, what we'd said, and anything I could remember. Again, I didn't remember anything helpful.

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No, you can arrest him. No. You don't take him to court yet.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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It'd be like, what are you talking? What the fuck are you?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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David has more proof on that case. He just goes out in the corner and comes back. This is killing me. The guy who kidnapped this woman actually has more proof about you graffitiing his house.

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I sat back in my chair feeling defeated. Detective White thanked me for my testimony and left to contact Katie's parents. Detective Hernandez sat back down watching me as tears welled up in my eyes again. Let me pay for you. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, please. I'm making a prediction right now.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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You have a full-time job. You work at a movie theater, you're playing video games, and you're like, I need structure.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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So I'm looking at the text on Reddit and then a few paragraphs down, I see like walls of text. The entire story is quotes until it decides to talk about a PSA around identity theft monitoring or the law or something like that. So I'm just placing money down on red right now that that wall of text is going to be like an info dump, but continue. Let me pay for your windows.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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If you haven't heard of entrapment in the con, yes, I was right.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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If you haven't heard of entrapment in the context of a police investigation, it's a legal defense that's used when evidence can be shown that an officer induces a criminal to commit a crime they wouldn't otherwise commit. When this defense is used, there are two different views. In some courts, if a defendant uses entrapment,

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As a defense, the prosecution has to prove beyond reasonable doubt that the criminal was not entrapped. In other courts, the defense has to prove that it wasn't trapped. The state I was in required the prosecution to do the proving. Hernandez recognized that this plan could be construed as entrapment, and he explained this to me as we walked to his boss's office.

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He told me that since David had already established a pattern of breaking my windows, Hernandez could set up surveillance on the car and just wait for David to commit the crime he was going to do anyway. Since I had repaired my windows twice and he had kept the receipts, that would serve as good evidence that the crime had been repetitive. The idea made me hopeful.

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I sat outside his boss's office while he walked in and presented his idea. When he walked out, he gave me a thumbs up. David would never know what hit him. Hernandez drove me to my house. What they're not factoring in is David's fourth-dimensional understanding of electronics and their positions around him. He can pick up on electromagnetic waves, so...

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Hernandez drove me to my house where I picked up my car and took it to a repair shop. He followed me over there and paid. We drove to my work in Hernandez's car while they worked on it. Hernandez ordered us some lunch and I talked to my boss. I told him about my bank account getting hacked and that I needed to cancel direct deposit.

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Luckily payroll is next week so they'd be able to change the method of payment by the next paycheck. I told him about my situation and Hernandez backed me up. He agreed to pay some of my wages in advance out of the store's petty cash until payday came and I was to pay him back. I thanked him profusely for helping me out and apologizing for having to call in sick that day.

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Walked out with a full stomach, $335 and a calm mind. With any luck, we'd catch David tonight. Hernandez took me back to the shop and I picked up my car. I tried to pay for the money I'd received, but he refused, saying I could pay him back after this was all resolved. He told me he'd be at my house later on to start the surveillance and to just park my car on the street.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Thanked him again before we parted. It was about 3 p.m. when I got home, parked my car several blocks away next to several others for camouflage. I didn't want David to find it and smash the windows before tonight. The walk was hot and the cool air conditioning welcomed me into my house. Excuse me. Someone asked timidly as I unlocked my front door. I peeked my head back outside.

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There's an older woman on the landing, probably in her 40s. Yes? You live in that apartment, I'm guessing. Yeah.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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chill ran up my spine i've called him a thousand times but he hasn't answered i've been standing here ringing the doorbell for a while but no one has been home can i go knock on his door i considered asking her to leave or telling her that i was wasn't comfortable with her coming in but i knew that would have been suspicious i knew what we were going to find

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Told her to come in, and instantly the smell overtook us. Isaac's body was rotting in his room. The smell overtook us. She tried to be polite and not offend me, probably thinking we were typical college guys living like pigs. She walked down the hall to Isaac's room. Oh, God. The smell must have been horrific right by the door. I shuddered, but went down the hall towards her. She knocked. Isaac?

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There's no structure when they have structure. Yeah. It's like they don't have a, yeah.

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She called. No answer, as Isaac expected. I think it's mom. I think the smell made her start to panic because she pounded harder on the door.

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She pleaded desperately. I sighed. Gently, I go, wait, where is this going? Okay, Hunter, there's no way, right? No, there's no way. There's no way.

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There's no way. It cannot be. Gently, I guided her away from the door and braced myself. I took a running start and slammed into the door. It bit heavily, but the latch didn't break. I tried again and again. On the fourth try, the door wrenched open and I was inside. The smell. I don't know how many times I can tell you about it until you understand.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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This was one of the moments where I'll remember every detail forever. Hunter, there's no way.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Dude. Isaac's room was a mess. There were three bookshelves that likely used to have tons of books, but the shelves were torn apart and books scattered across the room. His computer desk had papers scattered across it and cups knocked over. The window was darkened by a blackout curtain used for gaming.

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The large gaming computer under the desk cummed and the monitor showed stars moving around a screensaver. Isaac was on the bed. His face was pale and patchy with purple lines. His arms and legs were white and bruised. An extension cord trailed off the bed, the middle being wrapped around his neck several times. Some flies nested on his body, flying to another spot occasionally. Hunter! Hunter!

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Dude. I have no, I have no will. This is great. The honor, this might be the best thing I think we've ever read on this show. Just the insanity. And this is all, I'm fully convinced this is all identity theft PSA. And he murdered a guy in the apartment. Bro. Mrs. Watson entered the room and screamed. I just stood there staring at Isaac's dilapidated body. David had jumped to murder.

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I called the police and tried to get Mrs. Watson to leave the apartment and preserve the crime scene. She refused and sat sobbing next to Isaac's bed. She was afraid to touch him. The police came immediately and escorted Mrs. Watson and I out of the apartment. The next few hours were a blur of questions and police. Detective Fernandez showed up and looked inside.

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Techs were carrying in cameras and briefcases full of equipment. After a while, they started to carry out some of Isaac's belongings and bags. His gaming computer took two techs to carry out. I set all the curb nearby, not being allowed to leave by the head officer who's running the scene. Hernandez sat next to me.

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Hernandez left me alone. Hernandez left me alone and I thought over the situation. and then a car parked nearby, and out stepped Clark with his mom. I jumped up and ran over to him.

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I asked Clark's mom. Side note, I don't remember the exact time she got there, but I do remember she was earlier than expected. I was going to meet them both at the station.

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I just need something. I need someone to put me in line. I need someone to keep me in check. I think I'm going to go home.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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What's happened? Clark's face suddenly went cold when he saw the policeman near our door. Isaac was found in his room. I didn't have to specify what state he was in. Jesus Christ! Clark gasped, putting his hand on his knees. He started hyperventilating, and his mom weirdly put a hand on his back. Clark, honey, let's just go for a drive. We can get your stuff later.

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Few of the policemen turned to watch me from the balcony. Her jaw tightened and she guided her hyperventilating son into the car. I drove away and I was left in the middle of the street watching my best friend leave me to handle David alone. The idea that, oh, that's great. The idea that people are getting murdered and Clark needs to stick around out of some obligation over this nutcase.

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I wish so deeply that it would double down and Xander would be like, is that it, Clark? We entered this game together. A game of men, a game of sport. You're not going to finish this game with me? He has fully bought into the game idea and that's why he said he's leaving.

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But it's in this weird space where Xander is both like, tries to act like a rational human being and does absolutely nothing a normal human being would do.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I think this might be my favorite thing we've ever read.

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There's four parts. There's four parts to go. This is awesome. So, like, here's what I'm curious about. So, like, I understand why our audience recommended this story, right? Yeah. They're dumb. No, no, because they want me and you to suffer. That's the point. But jokes on them, I love this. This is great. So, like, I'm having fun with this.

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But I will see this story mentioned by people unrelated to Creepcast who will just be on, like... They'll just be on subreddits like, oh, best no sleep stories. And they'll recommend this one is like a scary one. It's like, what, what, why do you read things? What about, what about a story makes you think it was good? Is it because a lot happens in it? Or, like, what is reading to you?

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Are you reading them? I don't know. It's interesting. I get why our audience recommended this, like, loud and clear.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Bro, he's killing people. David King is killing people because it's all part of the game. Minimum required effort. I've got to strangle this guy in his bed because it's the minimum required effort.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I don't know how you're not having fun. I am exhausted.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I'm thrilled. We're halfway through and he just strangled someone with a gaming cord as it was described in his own bed. That's awesome. All right. Let's get less part five. Let's get it. Part five. Just finished posting links to this part and all comments apart for, I don't think I'll be able to do that again. So please check back 24 hours from the publication of this post. Rip my finger.

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All right. I'm, I'm, I'm having fun. hi again everyone as i do in every new post thank you for your support and encouragement i read every single comment and reply to as many as i can or have something useful to reply david is nowhere to be seen in this new town thankfully so i don't think he's realized that i've moved on i've had some time to keep figuring out where things are in this town

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Once again, just reminding everyone, these are past events. We haven't caught up to the present day yet. I also want to remind everyone that I am writing these each day. No, I don't have parts built up, so I can't make them longer or release them all at once. Sorry guys, a few people keep asking, so I'm just clarifying. One more thing.

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As I was reading every comment, like I do, I noticed one person whose birthday is today and they got, they got downloaded for suggesting this could make a good manga series. So I want to wish them a public happy birthday, happy birthday user. Super Kwame. It's so funny to imagine. Cause this is an ARG to imagine that he's actually like running for his life and he's still like, happy birthday user.

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Thank you. Thank you for the gifts. Thank you for the upvotes. Thank you for the updates, the badges. Um, Also, that is 100% true. In my head, it's a manga or an anime, like what's happening.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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And David looks exactly like the drawing you made, only he's super strong. Like he is like a mountain of muscle. He's extremely strong. Yeah, he's like a JoJo character.

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No, no. I think the head should be perfectly as is in the neck, but the neck should connect to like a bulk of muscle. Like the way he drew, what was that guy's name? Sam Sulik. Is that his name? The bodybuilder. It should be like that head, just the necks attached to that body.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Just being an adult out of high school and still thinking about high school is insane to me.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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The Lawnmower 5.0 Ultra has dual interchangeable blades that will keep you looking great all year long. Plus, the razor itself is waterproof with an LED light,

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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meaning that you can reach any spot no matter where or when you're shaving plus the performance package also comes with the weed whacker 2.0 the ear nose hair trimmer you've been waiting for it also comes with the crop soother and crop preserver an aftershave lotion and anti-chafing deodorant to get all of those hard to reach places

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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And of course, because it's Manscaped, they can't let you get by without a few extra gifts. That's why the Performance Package 5.0 comes with a pair of boxers and the Shed 2.0 travel pack, which is as sleek as it is stylish. So start the year off right and look your best with Manscaped's Performance Package 5.0 Ultra. Right now, there's never been a better time to get in on this offer.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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That's because right now, along with your performance package and your two free gifts, you will get 20% off and free international shipping when you use the discount code CREATECAST at checkout at manscaped.com. That is right, 20% off and free shipping, plus Manscaped has a 30-day money-back guarantee, which means you can try this risk-free.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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again discount code creepcast at manscape.com to get in on this incredible offer today thank you all so much for watching the ad thank you so much to manscape for sponsoring the show we are now back to the episode let's begin the police took isaac out in a body bag mrs watson left with the body still sobbing uncontrollably

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was told that i couldn't go into my apartment until they were completely done with the crime scene no they didn't know when that would be they suggested a hotel room which i laughed at i asked if i could grab a blanket and a pillow from my room so i could sleep in my car they reluctantly brought it to me and i gagged when i grabbed them they smelled like death hernandez offered to get me a motel room or let me stay at his place or even begged me to call a friend and stay with him i refused all three

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The thing about high school is that it required, I understand why, like some people from older generations have that idea. Cause I feel like they got out of high school and we're immediately like in there, there's this idea of like, okay, you don't have friends anymore. I guess because they couldn't keep communications or social media or whatever. It's like, all right, your friends are gone.

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badass i walked i walked to my car and ignored hernandez i was still too mad about everything and devastated that clark had left besides we couldn't do surveillance on the car while i slept in it i marched all the way to my car and slammed the door hard i decided i didn't feel safe parking near my house to sleep so i went to a walmart parking lot for the night

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It was as if fate had finally begun to root for me. I was walking towards the Walmart entrance from the parking lot to buy some food. When I was only a few cars away, an armored truck pulled up. The ones that carry money over to the bank. You know what I mean? And who do you think stepped out of the truck? David King. Fucking King.

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I strafed to my left and got behind a car, used the back tinted windows to observe. He was laughing with his partner who got out of the passenger side. I was too far away to hear what they were saying, but I definitely didn't recognize the partners. Anyone I knew was obviously paranoia, but I wondered if he could be the one who made Katie speak into the phone.

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The two of them walked into Walmart, and I took notes of the company that owned the truck. Then I had an idea. My first real idea on how I could fight back now that I knew where David was right this second. I sprinted back to my car. A little while later, I pulled up to Mrs. K's house. I got out and looked around, making sure David hadn't somehow beaten me here or followed me. I had to hurry.

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Who knew how much longer this shift would last? I knocked on the door and Mrs. K opened up.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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hi mrs k can i come in five minutes later i was rifling through david's room had to hurry had to find something useful fast i told mrs k that years ago i'd let david borrow a video game and just now remembered and wanted to pick it up she had happily let me go into his room and find them i booted up his ancient laptop but it was taking forever to load why the hell hadn't he bought a new laptop with all the money he stole that would have made good evidence

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I glanced at every paper I saw, hoping for something. Written plans, a checklist, a receipt, anything. Every paper I found was normal, from what I could see. His room was a disaster, which worked in my favor. He may have dropped something incriminating and not known about it. I stuffed every flash drive I could find into my pockets as I went. He had four of them laying around.

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They might have incriminating evidence on them. The laptop finally booted and I instantly tried to log in. No luck. Password protected. I should have known. Considering how tech savvy he'd been in hacking into my accounts. A password? A login password? In fact, all the incriminating data was probably on the laptop. He wouldn't bother printing anything out. That gave me an idea.

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I picked up the laptop and flipped it over. Toolbox laid under the table and I snatched a screwdriver from it. Using the screwdriver, I went to work disassembling the laptop. When I finished, I held his hard drive up in my hand.

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You have to work a job. Now I understand that a little bit in the modern age to still look back at high school is a good thing. Blows my mind. I loved it.

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I'm so cool. I'm going to ruin him. I'm going to get back after he strangled someone to death in my apartment.

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Eight parts. Eight parts. So this story gets recommended to us a lot. Yes. A lot of people talk about it. It is written by someone on Reddit known as ZandSand90. Now, I don't think... Don't like that name. I don't like that name either. I don't think that it's the author's actual name unless the author...

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It was a shoe box with dust covering the top. A few spots were less dusty where someone had handled the lid. I opened it slowly and peered inside. It contained a quarter-inch thick stack of pages all bound together by a binder clip. The box was too small to let the pad lay flat, so I curled it in the box. The pages were old and worn. They'd clearly been handled frequently.

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I lifted it out and noticed that it looked like research paper. The front page had a title in the middle of the page and an author at the bottom. Psychological Evaluation for David Edward King The bottom of the page had the name of the institute and psychologist that had done the study as well as the year. I did the math and the evaluation must have been done when he was 16. Jackpot.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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That's so funny to be like, ha, I'm going to prove this killer who has kidnapped a woman and tortured me for years isn't mentally well. Like, wow, you're breaking crazy ground with that assessment. This is evidence. This is evidence. He was psychologically evaluated at 16. That'll put him under. Knowing this story, the police are going to be like, he's clearly a sociopath. We have to shoot him.

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I stuffed it under my shirt as best I could hide its square form. The laptop was set back in its place as if it never moved. David would know something was wrong eventually, but not until he booted it up. I gave a last look around and wondered if there was anything else I should do. With no decent ideas, I left David's house. Mrs. K gave me a brownie on my way out.

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On the drive back to Walmart, I tried to come up with a plan. I couldn't take this to the police because it was illegally obtained evidence and wouldn't be admissible in court. I knew that from a bunch of crime shows. We can tell. I had to get at the evidence myself and somehow get it into the police hands legally. When I parked at the Walmart, it still wasn't that late.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I walked inside carrying the flash drives and psychological evaluation with me. I used the demo computers to look at the contents of the flash drives. Looking back now, I'm amazed they let USB sticks work on the demo machines. First flash drive had old high school papers on it. Nothing useful there. Second and third were bootable drives that could boot Linux.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

8942.221

I don't expect everyone to understand what that means. It's not important. I don't expect you to understand what that means.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

8953.31

Because only us based R slash Linux users understand that one. Am I right, guys? Upvote. Thank you. I was on the fourth flash drive that had my first breakthrough of evidence. It contained a single text file that had been edited the day before. As I read through it, I realized that it was a conversation.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

8973.913

With my current understanding, the flash drive was how David and his kidnapping partner had been communicating. David would write a message and hide the flash drive in a predetermined place. Then the kidnapper would go pick it up and read the message. The process would reverse when the kidnapper had a message to pass along. A lot of you will probably say, why wouldn't they just use encrypt emails?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

8993.484

That's so much faster and safer. If they had used any kind of network, yes, thank you. Every single entry has a PSA about how internet and security systems work. If they had used any kind of network to communicate, some internet service provider or some cell phone provider like Comcast would have a log entry of the messages being exchanged, even if the data was encrypted.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9015.861

Encrypted data is never 100% secure. Look at this. It's just randomly launches into like infomercials. If you dedicate enough processing power, you can crack any encryption. It may take thousands of years in some cases, but it could be cracked. That means it can't be cracked. That means no one's going to do it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9036.907

Someone would take thousands of years to get through one like encoded signal for sure. With our current advances in computing power, that could change to be even faster. It could only be hundreds of years. Exactly.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9051.65

David and his partner had reduced their risk of being caught by limiting who had access to the information. If you send an email to me via Reddit, I'm not the only one that gets the message. It passes through several servers. Oh my gosh, this story is like crack.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9070.765

For the record, this was your idea. I said... I know. I hate myself. I said that story looks bad. We should pass over it. We'll give it another shot and I'll be more positive this time. What's happened. I love it. And you're paying the price. That's great. Is this part six or is this part? This is five.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9092.614

It passes through several servers and routers, who all make a note that a message passed throughout a specific time. It leaves a trail. Unless you can erase the logs of those servers, you leave a trail no matter how you send your data.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9103.398

There was certainly risk that someone could find the flash drive, plug it in, and find all of this data like I had, but that could be reduced by choosing decent hiding places. If you plan to pass messages this way, don't leave it laying around your room. Especially, remember kids.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9118.704

especially don't leave it unencrypted i still don't know why it wasn't encrypted the text file would have a line then skip a line and add another where the next response was i don't have the flash drive or a copy of the conversation anymore so i have to paraphrase as accurately as i can remember i'll use bullet points here on reddit to format it more easily for you Payment received? Yes.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9140.411

Last half of payment comes when this is all over? How long? Depends on him. Good? Good. No suspicion. Quiet crap. Was she harmed? She fought. A couple bruises. Otherwise fine. There are some extra lines in between marking the start of a new conversation. Any new information? A kidnapping report has been filed with the police. Change locations every two days as previously discussed.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9161.61

Are you well supplied? We have enough in the truck to keep moving and stay operational. Good. Then he lucked this will be over soon once he makes an irreversible mistake. I shuddered as I closed the text file. That was damning evidence. No, it's not. That is, that is, that's a series of texts that you found. That's how that works. I checked who the owner of the file was. It was blank.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9184.001

Well, that would have been too convenient. I Googled the kind of cable I would need to hook the hard drive up to a computer. I bought a SATA to USB cable. I was thankful that the demo computers are in an aisle out of the view of employees in the tech center. To people who don't know technology, I'm convinced I look like a hacker.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9206.527

to people who don't know technology let me give you another lesson on technology please it's actually phrased that way let me give you another lesson on technology oh would you be so kind Xander as to do that for us to give us another lesson listen Hup Hunter since I seem to be giving so many in this series and the lampshade goes on

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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When you boot, Hunter, I don't know if you knew this, Hunter, but I'm going to let you in on a little secret. When you boot your computer, it asks for a password if you've set one. Without that password, you can't access the hard drive unless you do some hacked up workaround. In some cases, however, you can unplug the hard drive and plug it into another computer instead.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9259.039

The new computer will treat it like a regular external drive and voila, you have access. Unfortunately, David had encrypted his entire hard drive, so it was useless to me at the moment until I had some spare time to either guess the password or find someone who could crack it.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

926.257

David was and is a very intellectual person. Yeah. Very intellectual.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9274.58

Going to the summer supply section of the store, I took a seat and pulled out the psychological evaluation and looked at the cover page again. Psychological evaluation for David Edward King. I hope you realize that I've removed the institution author and date for privacy's sake, because that would matter. In the midst of this, that would matter.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I've spent hours skimming the contents, using the table of contents to navigate. I constantly had to look up lengthy words on my phone, but I was beginning to understand what went on in David's sick little mind.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I won't give you an entire rundown of this whole life, but the report contained transcripted interviews with his parents about incidents, a psychologist observation while holding David in confinement, and a general list of events that had occurred in David's life that may have traumatized him. These are the ones that I remembered.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Yeah. Just the idea. Cause I know where this story's going based on the title and like the opener, just being like, uh, high school was great at motivating us. So what if I kill you? What have, what have I tried to kill you? If you're this lost dude, get addicted to fentanyl.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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David set fire to animals constantly and poked them with various objects. When a snake lunged and bit him once in his backyard, his mother came out to find him whipping the limb body against a tree, guts spraying everywhere. His only explanation was, it tried to hurt me. Okay. Uh, two, he was found designing traps for rabbits and other animals that were expertly hidden in design.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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He claimed to have never looked at a wilderness guide to make them. His mother later found entire notebooks containing designs for traps, traps, framed, getting both animals and humans. His father died when he three, his father died when he was 12. respected him greatly. He became quiet and reserved for years.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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The first day of high school, however, he changed overnight and became charismatic, energetic, and clever. In middle school, one of his teachers had been interviewed after an incident. She had noticed that three boys had begun picking on David, but he quietly took whatever they gave him. One day, she came to class and all three boys sat ramrod straight and stared straight ahead.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9381.339

They didn't dare look at David. David was smirking and trying to hide it. So he's like the omen child. He's like... He's like the Antichrist from the movie Omen. He's a badass, dude. He's a badass. He's so cool and swag, and he's so freaking awesome. That's what the story wants us to think. Finally, let me try to summarize what the psychologist wrote about David.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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David seems to have a constant need to harm other living things and cause suffering. That is what a psychologist would write about a 16-year-old who only had a couple of weird interactions. Yes, yes.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I'm killing Dr. You may not know this doctor. I am darkness incarnate. He's wearing Joker face paint, but he's a child.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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But there's microscopic animals on the floor.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9456.724

I am evil. This is so awesome. And it's, it's made so much better to me with the PSA stuff that it's made to like, remember kids, this can happen to you too. You know, the story is almost too good. It's almost so it has, it is trying to be, it's horrible.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9488.943

Hunter, Hunter, that's what makes it so good. Because it is the worst thing we've ever read, but it is also a PSA about identity theft. Like know your surroundings. Yeah, but it's not fun enough. It also is trying to get him to be mad about credit card theft and worried about like his windows being broken when one person's dead and the second one's about to die. That's insane.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I had no idea that David had any of the, let me ask you this real quick. I know, I know you want to keep pushing up.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Do you think that this story, cause I mentioned this in the beginning, but I was kind of thinking about it. Obviously it would need some buffing for like the language and the police department scenes and stuff like that, regardless. But do you think this premise could work if it was like a stranger, like maybe a weird kid at school, he had only seen a couple of times.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9554.172

And he's like, why don't you try to ruin my life? And then the kid goes to like the level of dedication. He's killing people. Do you think something like that could be feasible?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9578.569

It's bogging itself down. It will not let itself progress because that's what's playing things.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9622.942

long and they all amount to the exact same conclusion like it's seriously yeah exactly it's seriously but i mean like i'm i am putting it up there as the worst thing we've ever read so far it keeps doing this thing where it will have these complete like comic book level reveals of like him killing people or kidnapping people having like spies around town and stuff like that

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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But then it will, like you said, be like, let's take a break to talk about ATM security systems. Like, yeah. Yeah. Which is why I love it and I'm having a great time. I had no idea that David had any of these problems or experiences. He and I had met when we were both 17. He'd been exactly as the report described, charismatic, energetic, clever.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I felt blind for not seeing any red flags, but I knew that he had hidden them well intentionally. Psychologist made another entry a month later.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Doctor, but wouldn't you as a psychologist, if a patient saw a complete 180 all at once, find that incredibly suspicious? As you're a psychologist and know that happens a lot. No, this is normal. I'm happy he's just cracking a smile. Well, that's good. So he should be reintroduced into society full-fledged. Well, I don't see why not. Yes.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I can't stop drinking. I drink profusely, mostly to numb the pain. The sentence struck me as odd. Months of statements about David's instability and suddenly this comes out. I googled the professor's name. He died in a car crash the same year as the publication date on the evaluation. Bro. Drunk driving. Drunk driving. But no, the implication is that David killed his psychologist.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Like maybe he was depressed or something like two boys inside of a mental facility. Yeah. And then that way that would actually be kind of interesting because then you create parameters around the setting. Well, then you could also a wall they can't get out of.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

978.151

Well, see, that would maybe motivate you, Hunter, to do more stuff.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9847.064

Makes way more sense. That would actually be kind of interesting. Like they're both in there and they're like, I'm bored.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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you could even mirror some of these scenes as well in an interesting way. We're like, maybe he doesn't know why David's in there. David lied about while he was in there. And then maybe one night he sneaks into the administration of office and finds out that like David killed his mom or something obscene like that. Yeah.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

987.017

Okay, we could just read smut if that's what you want.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9889.209

Dude, how great would this be if it ends and it's like, anyway, I didn't take my medicine today and it's like this whole thing was a delusion inside of an insane asylum.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

9901.875

If this ending in the it was all a dream twist, I think would make this the greatest thing I've ever seen.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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That's great, because then I get 100% of the paycheck. That's true. Well, you know, make it positive. Make it lemonade out of lemons. All right. Yeah, exactly. I'll take it. You know what? Deal. Son of a bitch. I reread the very last entry. I recognized the words for what they were. A coerced recommendation to reenter society. I could feel the psychologist's words scream through the page.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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No wonder David was so prepared. No wonder he was always ahead of me. No wonder his expression had spread such an absolute fear through me that night, Chase Clark and I. He was insane. It's taken him this long to figure it out. He designed traps. He knew what made people and animals tick. He enjoyed inflicting pain on them. Not just that, but watching them suffer. It's like, no shit.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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I actually I did not mean to encourage.

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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We just read this. It took him parts. Like for one, the author's explaining it to us twice, but also the, like the idea that Xander's just now, like he's not in his right mind. What?

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I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life | Creep Cast

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Yeah, the guy who murdered someone as part of a game that he elected to do himself.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

1004.543

He doesn't have to know that dad has a bullet in his forehead. Okay. Look, listen, back to what I was saying. I can't patch you up. If you're, if you're ripped up from like, you know, rip cage down. And I doubt we would have the resources to do that if there was no ambulance police. So if this was like an apocalyptic scenario and you were ripped in half, I would shoot you. Is that what you want?

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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That's a good enough for me. Okay. If I can call the police, I'm not doing it.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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I don't think that... Like I said, if I had no means of getting you to a hospital or an ambulance or something like that, then I would do it, yes. I would sit there and I'd just be looking at you like this.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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So I'd say, you're my angel. I would sit there. I would sit there and I would cry with you and I would pray with you. Be my angel. And I would pray with you and then I would shoot you.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Okay. You're not getting those three things back, but you can get prosthetics. That's what I'm saying. You can still exist. You can still make art.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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You, Hunter, you have a great life without your genitals.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Okay. Look, I've got, I'm not shooting you. I take it back. Even in the apocalypse is what you can bleed. Okay. That's my new take. I will pray with you. I will mourn with you. I will watch over Allison and any family you have. I will make sure they are taken care of, but I will not kill you.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

1226.544

Kill me! Okay, let's flip the script. What happens if I'm under the tractor?

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Hunter, if you and I were out at my house, and I had a tractor, piece of equipment, whatever, follow me, and I was, like, flattened from the... Boom! I would have done it already, see? What if I'm like, no, I think I can live. I think they can cut me off.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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So you would kill me and leave Kayla to rot. You would leave my family to just fend for themselves.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Yeah. Clearly. So, okay. Let me put it this way, Hunter. Yeah. I can still do this podcast. Yeah. I lose my, my waist down. Right. So if you shoot me underneath that tractor, your paycheck here is gone.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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So in that case, would you think twice before shooting me?

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

1376.454

All right. I'm going to, can I read the story now?

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

1388.43

None of the drugs I had tested so far have ever done anything for me, in the recreational sense. In other words, none of the drugs I've tested have given me a killer buzz or mellowed me out or anything. Maybe I've always ended up the placebo group, but nothing I've tested had affected me at all. Today's drug was different. This shit worked.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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They gave me a pill at 10.15 and told me to hang out in the waiting room until they called me back for some tests. Only about 30 minutes, the research assistant told me. I flopped onto the waiting room couch and read a few articles from a copy of Psychology Today that was sitting on the coffee table.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Then it called me back when I finished the Psychology Today, so I picked up a US News and read it cover to cover. Then I read an old Scientific American. What was taking them so damn long? I sluggishly turned my head to look at the wall clock. It was only 10.23 a.m. I had read all three magazines in eight minutes. I remember thinking this was going to be a long day. I was right.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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The waiting room had little bookshelf with some used hard covers on it. When I stood up to walk to the bookshelf, it felt like my legs barely worked. It's not that they were weak. They were just slow. Took a full minute just to stand up off the couch and another minute to take two steps to the bookcase. I scanned the old books on the shelf and picked out a copy of Moby Dick.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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My arms had the same problems as my legs. Just reaching one foot in front of me to grab the book took a long time. I actually got bored just waiting for my hand to reach the spine of the book. I slogged back to the couch and collapsed onto it in a slow motion fall that reminded me of the low gravity hops of astronauts on the moon. I opened Moby Dick, slowly, and began reading.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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I started with call me Ishmael and got as far as Ahab throwing his pipe into the sea, which was all the way to the freaking chapter 30 before they called me back. How are you feeling? Research assistant asked me.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Especially because it's a drug. So you're like, well, I guess I have to live with this now. You know?

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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And then I wish I had more hours in the day. And it's like, yeah, exactly. I thought about my slow motion flop onto the waiting room couch. Even if my muscles had slowed down, my body would still react to gravity the same way. But in the waiting room, I even fell in slow motion. Slow muscles couldn't explain why gravity seemed weaker. My brain was going at warp 10.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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That's how I managed to read three magazines and the first 30 chapters of Moby Dick in 15 minutes. They ran a series of tests on me. The physical tests were fun. They made me juggle three balls, then four, then six. I had no problem keeping six balls in the air because they seemed to be moving so slowly.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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It was boring, frankly, waiting for each ball to move through its arc so I could catch it with my slow motion hands and toss it back into the air. They threw Cheerios in the air and I caught them with chopsticks. I dropped a handful of coins and I counted the total value before they hit the ground.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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I feel like it would be like, I mean, if you were stuck in it, you would become like a great mind. Sure, you could process a lot of information, but it's like you're in a purgatory.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Yeah. I think... It's an interesting, I think you could do a lot of good for like humanity, the world, so to speak, but it's certainly a martyr position. You would suffer. Yeah. The cognitive tests were less fun. Very illuminating. Finish a 50 word word search. Three seconds. Solve an intricate maze drawn onto a poster sized paper. Two seconds.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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View a slideshow projected at 10 images per second and answer detailed questions about what I saw. 95% correct. They told me I measured over 250 on the Knopf scale. Apparently that's deep into the superhuman range of thinking speeds. Then they sent me home.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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The ride home was horrible. It was only three metro stops, and in real-world time, it took about 35 minutes. But in my drug-accelerated hyper-time, it felt like days. Days. Just walking out of the medical research suite, the elevator seemed like it took an hour. I sprinted out of the office, willing my legs to push me faster, but the laws of biomechanics held me prisoner.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

1776.703

As accelerated as my brain was, I couldn't do anything to make my legs work faster. The huge disconnect between my body and mine made it extremely difficult to judge how and when to slow down, turn, or rotate my body. I'd basically turned into giant slow-motion spaz. I misjudged my speed and rammed into the wall by the elevator button at a pretty good speed.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Even though I could see the wall coming at me, I couldn't make my finger outstretch to hit the elevator button, move away fast enough, and I jammed it against the wall. Hard. The pain was intense. If my brain had been running at regular speed, it probably only would have hurt for 30 seconds or so. But in my accelerated state, the intense pain seemed to last for half an hour, 45 minutes maybe.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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And it's just like the pain is only elevating for that time to like, yeah, I, uh, I'd wonder if the effects will get worse as time goes on. That's kind of what I suspect.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

189.784

Either a couple from this guy, but it also seems like there is, if we like this, there are two following like addendum parts to this story. So we could just read those two.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Appreciate it. The elevator ride was horrible. Felt like I spent four or five hours just descending seven floors. Nothing to look at but the interior of the elevator car.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

1905.828

sprinted to the metro station i have to admit this part was almost fun even though my body moved at what seemed to me super slow speed i could still carefully choose how and where to place my feet swing my arms and turn my torso it only took a block or two to get of getting used to having a brain that ran two dozen times faster than my body then i basically sprint dance the rest of the way twisting and juking people on the sidewalk and dodging moving cars with inches aka minutes of clearance

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

1936.698

I spent an hour, in my time frame, descending into the subway and running to the platform. Endless tedium waiting the six minutes for the red line train to arrive. Although there was no more to look at in the metro platform than inside the elevator, it was still intensely boring. Should have stolen that copy of Moby Dick. The redline train roared into the station in slow motion.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

1958.494

The normally high-pitched squeal of its brakes was frequency shifted by my high-speed mind to a long, low tone, like a monotone tuba solo. It wasn't just the squealing subway train that was three octaves slower than normal. All sound was slowed to the point of near inaudibility. Voices were gone, shifted below the threshold frequency of my hearing.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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I did manage to hear a screaming baby on my subway car. Her shrieks slowed to sound like whale songs. Sharp sounds like a car horn and trucks bouncing over potholes were low, muddied roars like distant thunder. Back at the research offices, I could still hear and communicate with the research staff, but now verbal communication with anyone would be impossible.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

2003.462

The effects of the drug were still intensifying. I spent what seemed like days on that red line train. Days. Listening to the whale song of the screaming baby and the tuba solo of the brakes. Where ordinary voices were frequency shifted out of my audio range, smells didn't seem to be affected.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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I never became nose blind to the body odor, the stench of the train's brakes, the mulling of farts and other smells wafting through the metro car.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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So the story is written by Reddit user Sarcasinomicon. Sarcasinomicon, I believe is how it's said. His name is Peter Frost David. And he has an interesting website called A New Kind of Monster. And across the entire website, it's like him theorizing the best monsters that could be created for stories. He has a store.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Yeah, the world's moving incredibly slow compared to him.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

2055.836

I finally got back to my apartment. Sprinting through my open door and into the front half at full speed was like a slow, relaxing drift down a lazy river. I was relieved to be home. At least I had stuff I could do there. Picked up the book I was reading, 100 Years of Solitude, and finished it.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Despite turning the pages so quickly that I tore many of them, it seemed like most of the time I spent finishing the book was spent on page turning and not actually reading. Three minutes had passed since I got home. I tried to surf the internet. My God, it takes a long time for computers to boot these days, but it was too frustratingly slow.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Hours seemingly to load each new page in a fraction of a second to read it. A hundred articles in my newsfeed read and just three more minutes done.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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And he says, I dipped into my pile of yet to be read books and finished two more. Four more minutes had passed. RIP. I decided to try to sleep off the remaining effects of the drug. Unfortunately, whatever part of my mind is responsible for perception, the part that's been accelerated to hyperspeeds by the drug isn't the same as the part that governs sleep.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Despite being awake for what I perceived as days, my physical brain still thought it was 1.25 p.m. It was not ready for sleep. Nevertheless, I tried to sleep, walked to my bedroom, slow 45 minute drift through my apartment, flung myself into bed, lazily falling like a feather under the mattress. I closed my eyes and lay there for hours and hours, 10 minutes of reality time before giving up.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Sleep would not come. I was facing what was going to feel like days or maybe even weeks of being trapped in a slow motion prison. So I took an Ambien. Oh God. That's not good. Taking another drug on top of that. That sounds like a horrible idea. Why didn't you take Coke instead?

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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I'm sure he doesn't have access to Coke, but when you want something that's like, well, you would want something that's not a downer.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

229.013

He has different stories based on abominations, different realities, and stuff like that. And it also seems that he has a series of books that you can get on Amazon. He has one called Second Death, Do Not Speak the Names of the Dead, which I think is...

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

248.976

part of a greater collection of what we're talking about today like this story and then he has two others called kubai nix uh and another one called unscaped uh and both of those like one's called moonscaped a medieval cyber security incident so a bunch of interesting titles and stuff seems like a cool author so check his workout yeah peter david cross it goes pretty hard

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

30.16

Welcome back to Creepcast. There, did I do it right enough? That's fine. Today, we are going to be reading a story called If You're Armed and at the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me.

CreepCast

If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

336.31

It's so funny because he was so happy about his outfit in the first recording. He was like, I've got my fit on. I'm looking cool and stuff. He was so upbeat. And now it's just like a child telling you he got expelled from school today.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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All right, so let's go. We'd like to take a minute to thank today's sponsor, Rocket Money. I guarantee that you would be surprised by how much money you're spending on unneeded subscriptions. And with Christmas around the corner, it's time to be spreading holiday cheer instead of your wallet. Well, today's sponsor, Rocket Money, is here to help.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Rocket Money is an easy to use app that helps you save more and manage your money better. I love using Rocket Money to help me set budgets. Trust me, I love spending my money on Sonic costumes and night vision goggles as much as the next guy. And like any good YouTuber, I am bad at budgeting and make someone else do it for me.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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That's because with Rocket Money, you can create a customized budget in just seconds. It even lets you break your spending down into categories so you can visualize where you might be spending too much or where you can afford more. Rocket Money also helps to automate your savings. It automatically analyzes your accounts to determine the optimal time to save so you can reach your goals faster.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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All of this gets me one step closer of my eventual goal of buying Hunter for all he's worth and finally escaping this purgatory of a podcast. So take control of your finances today and head to rocketmoney.com slash creepcast or click the link in the description to get started for free. That is right for free at rocketmoney.com slash creepcast to get in on this incredible offer today.

CreepCast

If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Thank you so much to Rocket Money for sponsoring the show. It means the most. And now, a word from Hunter. If you're armed and at the Glenmont Metro, please shoot me. Make it a headshot. Shoot me in the temple. I mean slightly downwards. I need the bullet to travel the shortest possible distance from my brain before it hits my hippocampus.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

470.761

If I'm lucky, the sensation of the gunshot ripping through my skull will only last a few decades. This sounds like you right now.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

494.403

Yeah. Look at that. Look how quick this one hooked you.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

500.448

All right. I'm proud. I'm proud of you. Little bear. As awful as this sounds, you'll be doing me an enormous favor. Death by a headshot as soon as possible is vastly better than the alternative. My ordeal started over 10,000 years ago at 10 15 this morning. Okay. That's pretty cool. That goes, that goes kind of hard, right? Was he a caveman? No, he's saying 10,000 years ago at 1015 this morning.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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As in 1015 this morning was 10,000 years ago.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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So we went to... We've went to five different stories. We've recorded two of them. We started to record dialogue for two of them. We started to record the first one, which is one you guys have recommended. We read forever and Hunter hated it. He, I have the recording that may eventually see the light of day. He immediately began to crash out.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

530.661

I earn extra money by participating in drug trials. I'm a so-called healthy subject who takes experimental drugs to help assess side effects. Once it was a kidney drug. A few times it's been something for blood pressure, cholesterol. This morning, they told me the drug I took was a psychoactive substance intended to accelerate brain function.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

566.522

I mean, logistically, yes. But some people, yes, some people need the money, but even then some people don't know like the level of like how much drugs can mess you up. Right.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Maybe I'll feel bad for a little bit and that's it.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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I knew you were going to go somewhere with that in a second.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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I don't think that makes it legal. I think you're still wanted for murder. Let's just say in this world it is. No, I would not kill someone because they wanted me to. All right. It would have to be like a mercy kill. I would do that if, say... I don't know. We were in an apocalyptic scenario and someone's ripped in half. They're not going to make it.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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No, absolutely. What do you mean? If you were on your farm, you're underneath a tractor, I'm calling an ambulance.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

683.21

Grab the gun out of my tractor. That's not how that works. It is 2024. There's hospitals you can go to. I'm not going to make it. I think it's funny in my head because like your legs ran over like the rest of you is fine.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

710.642

For me, for me. okay for me to shoot you in that scenario it's got to be like your rib cage down is gone let's say my it's not gone but it's like you can kind of see my gutty works we can we can fix that i don't think i you can't people get like people get uh there's a name for it i forget but you can get um amputated from the hips down. Like, you can lose your pelvis and still be okay.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

762.146

Here's a crazy idea. What if you killed yourself?

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

77.184

He got so upset and he's like, we have to change stores. We have to go something else. So we find another story he likes and we start reading it. But then the author of the story has posted like in giant letters across their Reddit, like I will take you down if you read this story. Or like if you read this story without first getting permission.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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You can still, okay. I'm saying that like, okay, I get, I'm not going to leak into a bag and have that be satisfying. I get the genitalia because you're young and that's fun. And that's like what drives a lot of your thoughts. And it'd be frustrating to live without it. I'm saying like, why does a colostomy bag decide the difference between life or death to you?

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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Okay. Okay. In your, okay. For one, how do I explain that to the cops? Right. I would write a note. I thought he would. I thought he was dead. I would write a note. That does not how that works. And I think you shot yourself and wrote a note. That'd be fine. If I shoot you and then you write, if you write a note and then I shoot you, that's not going to hold up in court.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

876.732

That is definitely not going to hold up. That looks like an ISIS beheading video. If I, like, pull out a phone and make you record on camera and then shoot you on your land under your tractor, absolutely not.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

894.959

Okay, what if... Why do I need to be the one? You can die yourself. Look, if you get injured that intensely, you are probably going to die. You are going to bleed out or get crush syndrome.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

936.711

Okay, let's change this. Let's say this is in a no, like an infrastructure breakdown, right? Like I can't call an ambulance, right? Sure. Because that would be the decision maker. Because if there is a micro percentage of a chance you could live, I would not kill you.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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No, just because a friend wants to die doesn't mean I grant them that. I would do you that favor. No, no, no. Look at this. What if like, this is a couple of years from now. Okay. What if, what if you, what if you had a child right during this scenario? And then like you, you abandoned the child. Like, no, I'm not letting you do that.

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If You're Armed At the Glenmont Metro, Please Shoot Me | Creep Cast

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So we had to ask for permission and now we're waiting to hear back on that. And then we looked at all these other stories and they all had like individual problems. It's been over an hour.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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That's what you'd say in front of a woman just covered in chicken feathers and blood.

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That make me thinky.

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The spin-off ones, yes. I will agree with the spin-off ones.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Uh-oh, looks like the old ball and chain, the old government doesn't want me to drink bleach. Well, this will show them, liberal.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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But five really, really stretches out that five number. Really likes to, and then there's Entry 6. The majority of this story is Entry 5. It's the most of the story is Part 5. Yeah. Okay, Entry 2. Ich möchte einen kurzen Moment danken an heute's Sponsor, TUSHY. Okay, off-script, komplett von dem Herzen hier.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Ein paar Monate ago my wife bought a TUSHY bidet and I have no idea how I existed as a human being without one. If you don't have a bidet I'm not saying that your life doesn't matter, I'm just saying it's worth less than mine. Ich habe keine Ahnung, was ich vorher gemacht habe. Ich mag es nicht, Räume zu verwenden, die nicht meine Räume sind, weil es nicht das gleiche ist.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Ich fühle mich wie ein Tier ohne sie. Und ihr könnt euch heute darauf einstellen, weil TUSHY das Luxus-Bidet ist, das eure Räume verpasst haben. Statt mit Toilettenpapier unendlich zu waschen, entfernt TUSHY 99% der Bakterien, während sie den natürlichen Hautverbrauch schützt, dank eines natürlichen Ingredients. Fresh Water. So not only does TUSHY eliminate the waste, but it's better for you.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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I mean, using TUSHY reduces irritation, prevents micro tears, swapping scratchy toilet paper with soothing water. Once again, I cannot stress how much cleaner I feel throughout the day when using a bidet as opposed to dry toilet paper. It's also easy to use. Installation is simple and takes about 10 minutes to complete.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Once you have it set up, you can start to use the toilet hands-free, taking full advantage of the built-in air dryer and easy-to-use cleanser. Plus, you can save money in the long run, as people who have made the switch to TUSHY use up to 80% less toilet paper. Because again, TUSHY does most of the cleaning for you. That means no more clogged toilets and no more wasted money.

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So elevate your comfort every day for life. Now is easier than ever because every HelloTushy Bidet comes with a 30-day hassle-free return and a 12-month warranty. And for a limited time, our listeners can get 10% off their Tushy Bidet when they use the discount code CREEPCAST at checkout. That is right.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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10% off your first bidet through HelloTushy.com when you use the discount code CREEPCAST to get in on this incredible, life-changing improvement today. Thank you so much to Tushy for sponsoring the show. We are now back to the episode. Entry 2 A lot of people say the exact same thing in the same exact tone and rhythm every single time.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Do you remember that time when you were at the Mexican restaurant outside and you got attacked by a bunch of flies?

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That was great. The flies were a paid actor. That was incredible. Anyway, we can go back to the story now. I just need to share that.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Ich höre es hundertmal am Tag, wenn ich riskiere, rauszugehen. Dann fahre ich direkt zu einem der unmöglichen Fenster. Die infekten Supermärkte, die schnellen Vending-Maschinen oder eine der grünen Türen. Diese schrecklichen grünen Türen. Ich weiß nicht, ob sie eigentlich neu sind, oder ich bin nur neu möglich, sie zu sehen.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Der erste, den ich bemerkt habe, hat auf der Rückseite unserer lokalen Shop-Reihe gewachsen. An ugly, faded seafoam affair. Smeared window shaped like their burger logo. Chrome handle flicked with rust. Same as all the others I've seen since. People were coming and going at a steady pace. But even when I staked it out for a good six hours, I never saw the same patron coming back out again.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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I guess that should have been a big warning sign, but I couldn't take it. I had to know. Es führte natürlich nicht in den Laden. Ich wusste es nicht. Sobald ich reinsteckte, wurde ich von dem Geräusch von Essen, Beesten, leckeren, atemhaften Geräuschen, alles andere ausgetrocknet. Ich habe mich an meine Gag-Reflexe gewöhnt.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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A lot of those. So it seems that on Bugleach.com, I don't know if it was several people or if it was just Jonathan, but at least Jonathan was some part of these competitions that would run. So they have all the submissions from that. There's a catalog of a lot of Jonathan's own stories. There's also a bunch of like original Pokemon he's designed. Digimon. He has like a merch store.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Es gab Bars, Türen und Städte, die sich um Räume und Räume von Buffets verbreiteten. Viele Sälen waren besorgt, aber die Mehrheit der Kunden war auf dem Fuß zu essen, die Scheiße direkt aus den Bars zu holen, als sie fuhren. Ich wusste, dass keiner von ihnen verstehen konnte, was sie wirklich tun, wo sie wirklich waren. Das Dekor war fast, aber nicht ganz, in dem Stil eines retro-50er-Dieners.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Vielleicht mit einem Schuss von Dr. Seuss. Viele der Fertigungen sahen schmutzig, lecker, plastisch aus, als ob sie für Kinder designt waren, obwohl ich nicht vorstelle, dass ein Kind mit so einem depressiven Geschmack Die Stühle hielten sich mit rot-grünen Kuscheln. Die Türen hielten sich mit hübschem, gelb-grünem Tarn.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Die Flügel hielten sich mit pale-blühen Teilen, wie in einem öffentlichen Wohnzimmer. Viele Teile waren verloren oder verschwunden. Die Wälder hielten sich mehr von diesem tackigen Chrom, der durch Fake-Wood-Paintings interrumpiert wurde. Sie gaben einen Weg zu Glas-Wänden, von der Höhe der Wälder bis zum Boden. Yes, windows. Not visible from outside.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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I stepped through a door in the middle of one plain, solid brick wall, but from inside it was glass all around. They were so thick with grime that I could scarcely see through them, but I could tell it wasn't the correct view from behind the shop right. It looked more like some murky storybook vista, simple, blocky houses on rolling green hills.

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Despite the steady stream of people coming in through the door, I couldn't see a single sign of movement or life out there. I began to wonder if I might look suspicious, just standing around and gawking while everyone else was heading straight for the food. I thought I might as well make some effort to blend in. Mistake number one.

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Not another word. I can't take you. I'm gonna send those flies back. Oh. Oversized pasty white drumsticks dribbled cold yellow juices. A long trough of chunky pekish... Oh my gosh, this is getting to me.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Any murder thing like that, I'm fine. But when they start eating it, that's... Like cannibalism. Cannibalism bothers me a lot in stories. Reheat the placenta.

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He has a Patreon where he's still doing a bunch of updates. He has an Etsy store where he also seems to be a great artist. So... Es gibt ein paar kleine Trinkets, die du mit diesen coolen kleinen Pinseln bekommst und kleine schreckliche Figuren, wie schreckliche Geister und so weiter. Also es gibt ein paar verschiedene Wege, um zu unterstützen. Oh, er geht von Scythe Mantis auf Etsy.

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Das ist schlimmer als jedes schreckliche Ding, das ich jemals gemacht habe.

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Ja, okay, das ist passiert. Das ist nicht die Placenta spezifisch, aber ich habe darüber gesprochen, wie dumm etwas ist, nur um einen Freund zu haben, der etwas gemacht hat. Es ist so, okay, na gut, wir werden uns vor dem Placenta-Talk vorbereiten, weil es passieren wird.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Ich brauche schlechte Dinge, um dir zu passieren.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

1992.168

I'm just going to show up to the funeral and be like, checkmate, and then walk away.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Das ist furchtbar. There were brains. There was something like clear yellow spaghetti in a patsy brown sauce. At least, that's what I'm going to keep telling myself it was. There were fish fins and goat eyes and even bones. Just steaming hot, perfectly bare white bones. I could barely take the sight of anyone eating.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Das ist ein wirklich cooles Name. Scythe Mantis. Er scheint ein sehr prolifizierter Typ, der viele verschiedene Arten hat. Also hoffentlich ist er auch ein großer Wider-Wider. Wider, was auch immer. So, if you want to support him, there's a bunch of different ways to. We'll leave a link to the website BoggleAge.com. It seems to have all of his links in the description below.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Mrs. Faber, a grim and crotchety old bag from down the street, was digging like an excited child through a big heap of what looked like horse teeth, sucking off whatever scraps of gum tissue she could find. That's so gross.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Sucking off the little pieces of skin that hang on teeth.

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I hate you. This story is rough. That means it's working. It's doing what it wants to do with the gross-out thing. The clear spaghetti was like worms or something. I was drinking a shake

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Yeah, I've had frog legs. I don't think I've had chicken feet. Brutal, brutal frog. When I was younger, I used to like frog legs because I wouldn't think about it. It was just like, oh, yeah, yeah. But the older I get, the more it's like, hmm, I'm all right.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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I felt my stomach shudder. We made eye contact and for a moment I almost thought I saw a look of horrified clarity. Like the fog was almost lifted from her mind and she was about to ask me what in God's name she was doing. Instead, her eyes glazed over and she smiled that chillingly idiotic smile.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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Love that. That's sick. That's how I describe it. I was trying to think of a restaurant to use as an insult there.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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That's good, Hunter, I'm happy for you. I can't feel my ankles. I can't feel my ankles. That's when I saw it. The thing I've come to think of as an egghead was wobbling around the bars, arms flailing blindly. A chalk-white, naked, sexless human figure dominated by a featureless beach ball of a head. A stick figure made flesh. Die Alien-Invasion-Theorie klingelte bereits immer besser und besser.

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Be sure to show him some love. But this story itself, Burger Entries, was originally posted to its own website, Burger.com. And that's spelled B-U-R-G-R-R. as like a series of entries or blog posts and it seems that the website is gone now but all of the entries have been archived on creepypasta.com which is where we're reading them from now and there's a few little like

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Das Ding schlug sich eine Ecke nach der anderen und sah nicht so aus, als hätte es einen bestimmten Ziel im Kopf. Es klatschte manchmal an jemandem Haar oder Kleid, fast so, als wäre es bereit für Aufmerksamkeit oder sogar in Bedürfnis von Hilfe, aber niemand blickte so viel in seine Richtung.

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I assumed I could get away with ignoring it like everyone else until it finally hobbled its way down the opposite aisle and crossed my direct line of sight. It froze there. The blank, smooth egg face turned directly towards me. I don't remember the sprint home, but I do remember it was the dead of night when I exploded out of that ugly, greasy green door.

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It couldn't have been later than noon when I first entered, and I couldn't have been ogling the whores therein for more than 40 minutes, from my perspective. I don't know if anything followed me, but I barricaded myself in my bedroom that night just to be safe. The doors and the windows are everywhere. If you can read this, only go out when you must. And don't go anywhere new.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

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It might be newer than you think.

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Yeah, it reminds me of like a, or Paleheads, that's what they're called. It reminds me just like a bundle of flesh, you know? Let me look at the Paleheads. Ja, Pale-Heads von Resident Evil 3 Remake. Ja, die Idee davon erinnert mich nur an eine Flasche, wie ein großes Nichts-Ding. Es ist fast so, als ob das raue Fleisch zusammengemischt wurde.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2415.561

Yeah, maybe it's like the things that are doing it, you know, the things that are causing all of this and they're just kind of monitoring their victims, so to speak, you know? Yeah. But anyway, so with that, I'm enjoying this so far. This is really, obviously it's effective because the pits of my knees are loose.

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Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2478.108

I mean, people, you know, they want to be chill and they want to, like, you know, be laid back and just listen to a story. I get it. They're not trying to get a literary analysis and stuff like that. I understand. As much as I'm a fan of, like, what we read, I'm not as violent about it as you are.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2531.874

Entry 3. Entry 3. They used to be people. The Eggheads. Literally our fans. They used to be people. Now they just want stuff with people that have diarrhea in their pants and talking dolls that want to stab you.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

256.412

art depictions along the way as mentioned jonathan's also an artist uh to help visual with the story for those so for those who are on youtube you will get those in addition um but yeah this is just a very interesting thing the story comes highly recommended across like reddit communities and stuff like that so hopefully it's cool i really want it to be because a bunch of the other stuff jonathan does looks cool so i'm excited to get into it yeah let's dive in dude

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2571.486

Whatever they say about you is double funny for me. I had a bunch of people. I posted a TikTok earlier today and all the comments for some reason just in unison decided to pretend like you died.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2622.32

People think I'm dead! I had two family members text me and be like, did something happen to Hunter? What? Yes!

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2650.049

I've seen it a lot in the weeks since the buffet. Not everybody shows the signs, but some people, the ones who get hooked the hardest on that sick foreign meat slop, only seem to gain weight from the neck up. That's awesome. That's actually so sick.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2680.401

Die Löwen deiner Ohren und so weiter. Das erste, was wegfällt, sind die Augen. Dann schließt sich der Mund schief und der ganze Kopf schmutzert sich. Er beginnt, sich unverzweifelt zu erinnern. Unvergessen von Freunden und Verliebten. Sie machen nichts, sondern kreieren. Sie kreieren ihre Arme um, als ob sie für ihre verlassenen Augen kämpfen. I killed one today.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2702.073

I spent my afternoon scrounging around town for normal things to eat. An increasingly challenging task. Avoiding the overtly weird shit is only the half of it. I have to be careful for anything that boasts a new formula or improved flavor. Sometimes I just have to scan the package for the hamburger logo or check the ingredients for some new gibberish like extracted bone jellies.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2729.059

Natural Life Parts. Its head was bigger than most, an impossibly bloated globe that almost brushed the walls on both sides. I don't know how its feeble, chalky body could have held it up. It was barely more than a skeleton, thin skin shrink-wrapped tightly to its bones. All that remained of its former identity was a black dress tie, swaying like a pendulum from its pencil-thin neck.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2769.162

Its incoherent mumbling sounded at once panicked, apologetic and threatening as it staggered towards me, limbs outstretched. I had nothing to defend myself with but a bag of stale bread and a warm can of coke. I screamed at it, told it I didn't know what it wanted, that there wasn't anything I could do, but it just kept coming, mumbling. The moment my back hit the wall behind me, I snapped.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2794.27

I grabbed the nearest garbage can lid and swung with all my strength, slamming it straight into the fat, bulbous face like a battle axe. It felt like striking a huge, taut basketball. Das Möbeln wurde französischer, mehr verwirrt, als das Ding nach hinten stürzte. Die Gravität schlug sich an seine schmerzhafte Kranium, die Arme kratzten, als sie kämpften, um das Zentrum des Bindens zu erneuern.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2817.35

Es war wie eine Routine mit einem geschlossenen Schlagzeug, wie jemand, der nicht auf eine Geburtstunde kämpft, kämpft. Ich schrie wie ein Banshee, als ich wieder schlug und das Ding endlich zerstörte. Langsam, als ob es mit Luft gefüllt war.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2832.768

Als es auf den Boden stürzte, explodierte diese große Nagelle wie ein geschmolzener Tick, mit einem weichen Splash, pinker Schmuck und Hüften von rot-weißem Blut, die aus der Allee und in die Straße fliegten.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2845.501

Für einen furchtbaren Moment fragte ich mich, wie die Szene für den Rest der Welt aussehen würde, wenn sie nur einen random, sinnlosen Akt des Mörders gegen einen völlig normalen, ungewöhnlichen Menschen sehen. Die Leute, die bereits nonchalant über die verschlossenen Pile von Gore steckten, hätten mich entschleunigt, wenn es nicht für das nächste geschehen wäre.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2863.972

Einer dieser Pile begann sich zu bewegen. Etwas in der Größe eines Babys schlug sich aus der verpulverisierten Schleife heraus. Eine schwarze, etwas oblongere Form mit vielen dünnen, rüttelnden Abständen unterhalb. Noch zu dick mit Gore, um irgendwelche Details herauszufinden.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2882.111

It was still between me and freedom, and I could only watch in a confused stupor as it unfurled a pair of big, transparent fins and abruptly took flight, buzzing off into the afternoon sky like a bloated, fleshy bumblebee. Thankfully, it never seemed to notice or care about me. Funny how I settled on eggheads. I just thought they looked like eggs. I didn't know they literally were. Das ist cool.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2909.457

Das Fleisch, das sie essen, ist wie ein Parasit, das in ihrem Kopf wächst. Und dann ist es einfach... Die Grund, warum sie immer mehr essen müssen, ist, weil sie das Essen füllen, das sie anbieten.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

293.646

Creepcast.store.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2938.564

Yeah, it's like a giant maggot grows in their head and then it swells to the point it eventually bursts or something hits it and it pops and that lets the fly take off.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2962.654

Ja, das ist, das ist, weißt du was? Das ist jetzt ein bisschen heiß. Ich mag das in der Tat sehr. Eine Frau stoppte im Crosswalk tot, um zu lachen und zu wackeln, als es in den Himmel fiel. Sie ging weiter mit nur einem momentanen Ausdruck von Verzweiflung. Was mache ich? Nach dem, naja, was auch immer, was ich in den letzten Wochen so gewohnt bin.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

2988.356

Als ich nach Hause kam, habe ich angefangen, auf Krankheiten zu lesen. Parasiten, Böse, Puzzle-Teile, die sich einstellen. Es gibt einen Art Wasp, der sein Ei in einem lebenden Katerpillar legt. Wenn die Larve zerfällt, modifizieren sie den Hosts gesamten Metabolismus, um ihre Bedürfnisse zu schützen. Der Katerpillar isst mehr, wächst größer, um den wachsenden Waspen mehr Wachstum zu bieten.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

30.998

Hey, alle. Ich bin nur hier, um die Gerüchte zu bestätigen. Ich weiß, dass ihr viele von diesen Sachen gesehen habt. Und wie du weißt, meine Kommentare, TikTok und Twitter und solche Sachen. Aber ich möchte nur bestätigen, dass Hunter tot ist. Er ist gestorben. Ein paar Tage zuvor hatte er einen massiven Herzattack, während er ein Auto fuhr, in das ein Flugzeug fiel. Yeah, it was really brutal.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3010.572

Diese Art von Scheiß ist überall in der Natur. Es gibt Mikroben, die Mäuse zu Katzen verbreiten. Es gibt Flaschen, die in den Händen von Katzen wachsen, die sich immer noch bewegen, auch nachdem ihre Gehirne gegessen wird. Es macht so viel Sinn. Vielleicht kommen sie aus der Welt. Vielleicht kommen sie aus der Hölle. Vielleicht sind sie immer hier. Einer Spezies nach der anderen.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3032.175

Einer Zivilisation nach der anderen. Wer weiß. Sie füttern uns, damit wir sie füttern können. Damit sie einen schönen, warmen Körper haben, um sie sicher und ernährt zu lassen, bis sie uns nicht mehr benötigen. Wir sind nur eine Hütte von Pferden.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3044.68

Oblivionistisch zu unserer Position in der Leben, weil wir verdächtigt und verschlüsselt sind von etwas, das nur über unser Verständnis der natürlichen Ordnung liegt. I don't know why I can see them, why I can see what they're feeding us.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3057.274

I'm like a cow who grasps exactly what goes on in the slaughterhouse, and I can't stop thinking about what a cow could ever hope to accomplish with that knowledge.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3066.766

your guess is as good as mine yeah that's a fun uh uh comparison to draw i'm like a cow that knows what happens in the slaughterhouse yeah well it's it's i like it a lot too because also he stated it a couple times so i'll say he but their protagonist has stated it a couple times and there's going to be a point where there's no food left

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3104.9

Es ist auch wie... It gives... I mean, like, maybe you could grow your own stuff, but even then it's like all of society is cooked, basically.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

311.596

So, ohne weiteres, Hunter, bist du bereit, Burger-Entrys zu machen? Oh Gott, ich bin es. Na dann, lass uns Burger-Entrys machen. Okay. Entry 1. Ich weiß nicht, ob das jemandem gelungen wird. Wenn es jemandem gelungen wird, ist es wahrscheinlich, weil sie es wollten. In welchem Fall, ich bin wirklich entschuldigt. Vielleicht interessieren sie sich nicht mehr.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3143.733

Yeah, it does. Wait, there's one Edo story about people who become obsessed with a honey, right? Or something like that? Es ist was, aber es tötet sie automatisch.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3203.285

Yeah, It Breeds, It Bleeds. Es blüht, es atmet, es atmet, es atmet, es atmet, es atmet, es atmet, es atmet, es atmet, es atmet, es atmet, es atmet.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3233.057

Also ja, die Geschichte, die ich mir gedacht habe, ist Splatterfilm. Es ist eine Geschichte von Junji Ito und es geht um dieses neue Honig, das aus Südamerika kommt, das die Leute wirklich besessen. Aber jedes Mal, wenn sie es essen, gibt es eine 25% Chance, dass sie explodieren. Entry 4 Entry 4 By the way, I just like the way information is given to us. Like, oh, there's this new food.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3283.609

I watch these people mindlessly eat it. I saw an egghead. The eggheads used to be people. There's a thing growing in them. And now the start of Entry 4 says, I followed one of the flying things. Like, we're given just enough, but drip fed more to keep us engaged throughout. It's well written.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3306.003

Entry 4. Today I followed one of the flying things. They eventually break out of the eggheads on their own, often taking 30 minutes or so to wipe the gore off their slimy bodies with their squiggly legs before they take to the air. They've never shown any aggression or any acknowledgement that I exist. They just flutter away like they've got somewhere to be. Apparently they do.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3328.373

It was in a Walmart parking lot that I witnessed another hatching. The Egghead was stumbling between cars, clawing at its own face, reaching feebly out to pass her bys like it still thought it could be saved. It hadn't even hit the ground before its featureless face started to crack audibly, pink goop dribbling out like raw yolk.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3350.149

It collapsed against a minivan and slumped limply to the pavement as a big hunk of its scalp popped off with a wet, solid crunch. The thing inside was throbbing, swelling up like a pufferfish to push open what was once a human skull.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3365.992

It throbbed and squirmed its way out of the ruptured cranium, looking like nothing so much as a wet rubbery horsefly made of chewed gum or an inverted brain with membranous wings. Its branching limbs rise like nightcrawlers, barely supporting its bloated, rugose body. The wings trembled, almost cautiously at first, before it took a first blind leap into the air and smacked wetly into the ground.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

338.604

Vielleicht ist es egal, weil wir nichts tun können. If you're anything like me, you've seen some weird new shit around town. And more importantly, you realized it, and you've remembered it while everyone else goes about their day in ignorant bliss. I don't know how far it goes, but so far, nobody has shown any capacity to register what I'm saying.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3397.305

It was a dud. It took another shot at flying, awkwardly bobbing for a few feet before it dropped like a rock with another pitiful, wet smack. I laughed pretty hard. When invisible monsters are devouring the human race and nobody cares, you tend to take whatever entertainment you can get. Es ging wieder in die gleiche Richtung, landete sich auf der Hütte eines Jeeps.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3418.455

Der kleine Junge war entscheidend. Das war, als es auf mich erinnerte. Die Möglichkeit, auf die ich gestürzt habe. Es hat immer im Himmel verschwunden, bevor ich einen Sinn für ihre Richtung bekommen konnte, aber ich konnte es leicht auf dem Fuß erzählen. Ich dachte, schlechtes Geheimnis, ich würde nichts Neues sehen und muss einen Bus zurück in die Stadt nehmen.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3437.42

Sobald ich es hatte, war seine Destination nicht weit weg. I came close to giving up, waiting for the damn thing to collect itself every 10 to 15 feet, watching it plummet like a bent paper airplane and flounder like a dying fish for minutes at a time. But not an hour had passed before I learned its little secret. Half a mile from the crumbled remains of the egghead. A port-a-john.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3461.681

Between the magic doors garish advertisements mutant snack food and odd shit I can't even begin to get into I never stopped to think about bright blue portable toilets that seemed unusually common as of late Ich brauchte nie einen, und mit dem sehenswerten Perpetuellen Wegwerk, das unsere Steuerzahler für so lange gebraucht hat, ist es nicht so, als wären sie allzu seltsam.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3501.579

Die grimmige Plastik-Tür schlug sich ruhig öffnen, als der Gehirn-Bug näher floppte. Ich fehlte dem Wunsch, mein Bestes zu tun, so unabhängig wie jeder andere, aber schlug einen kurzen Blick in den offenen Höhepot.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3516.062

The brain fly, as I decided to dub them, was already careening down a long, dark tunnel stretching as far as the eye could see, while somehow contained in a single, small, portable shithouse. Nothing unusual these days. As I made my way back to my car and drove the rest of the way home, only one thought persisted. I had to know. Even a hint. Any lead I could find.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3561.133

I didn't suspect there was anything I could do. And any day now I could wake up another deluded zombie, another gluttonous slave to their deep-fried maggots and pickled eyeballs. They could grind me up and serve me at the buffets for all I cared. I just had to know where that damn tunnel went. Where the brain-eating bastards were really going.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3581.623

I laid awake that night, my mind racing with images of alien motherships, parallel realities, subterranean cities. Tomorrow I'm going in. Either I die knowing one more piece of the puzzle or I somehow kick their gooey little asses. Who's to say they'll even be prepared for an intruder? They think they've got us all fooled.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3602.232

I don't expect to be some kind of hero, but so far I'm the only one I know who even has a shot at trying.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

361.379

I can spam it up and down the internet and I don't get one relevant response. Nothing. I've considered that I might just be crazy, but even crazy people can get some sort of reaction. Someone will at least try to humor them, calm them down. I've tried doctors, police, professors.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3615.465

Ja, es gibt neun Subteile zu Entry 5, also wir werden sehen, wo das geht. Aber ich meine, ja, wenn du sterben wirst, wenn du von diesen Dingen getötet wirst und die Menschheit weg ist, dann kannst du auch etwas Interessantes machen, weißt du. Okay, Entry 5.1. Ich war nicht vorbereitet für das, was ich in diesem Tunnel gefunden habe.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3636.42

Es streckte sich über eine Weile hinter dem 3x3-Interior eines Portageons. Ich wurde von einem fliegenden Gehirn begleitet und das, was ich fand, hat mich immer noch überrascht. Ich habe geplant, vorbereitet zu werden, aber es gab im Endeffekt wenig, das ich als nützlich gewesen wäre. Ich packte ein Survival Kit von Storbot, Röhrchen und Flur und so weiter und einen schweren Metall-Snow-Schachtel.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3661.017

Das einzige Waffen, das ich wirklich gedacht hätte, würde irgendwas erreichen. Die Eggheads reagieren nur auf Blutstörungen und sogar dann, das scheint nur den Hatching-Prozess zu steigern. Keine Art und Weise hätte ich einen von den Brainflyern mit einem Schuss getroffen. In Closed Space, I suppose I could give one a good thwack. What do you mean you couldn't hit one with a bullet?

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3686.193

They're pretty big, they're pretty huge. I think he's saying that they're flying around, but if one's close enough to hit it with a shovel, it would be close enough to shoot. Whatever. Horror stories do this all the time, where it's like, I found a weapon, a bat. It's like, okay, what about a shotgun? Hahaha. Are you from England? Why are you doing this? It's absurd.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3711.264

Besides the fundamental impossibility of its existence, the tunnel was wholly unremarkable. A slightly rounded, concrete corridor interrupted only by squarish, rusted grates. The distant droning escalated as I progressed. Soon enough, the tunnel gave way to what I suppose I can describe as a sort of factory floor.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3732.97

Ich weiß nicht, wie lange ich nur hängengelaufen war, mein Gehirn über sich herum, um alles zu präzisieren, was ich gesehen habe.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3740.155

Denk an alles, was dir in die Hand kommt, wenn du Maschinen hörst, Kugeln, Anbieter, Pistolen, Wurzeln, Mechanismen jedes beherrschenden Designs, und dann einige, die sich in einem Raum so breit abdecken, dass kein Flur, Boden oder Wälder in der langen Dunkelheit gesehen werden können. Jetzt, stell dir vor, dass jemand all das weggezogen hat und Klowns zu remodellieren hat.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3765.789

50 oder 60 Jahre nach dem Verlust, könnte man etwas nahe an dem bürtelnden Hell, an dem ich gestorben bin, haben. Alles hat sich zwischen kaltem, grimmigem Stahl und einem Art von Candyland-Motiv verändert, mit stark gestrichen Plumbing und polka-dotted Ductwerk. Ich steigte, als ein Schlauch von Sparx von einem riesigen, robotischen Arm über dem Kopf flieg.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3788.216

Sein rasteres Metall kastete und verklebte das rote Dreieck, ein starker Kontrast zu seiner Mickey Mouse Hand.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

379.161

They all just stare off into space when I start to describe this shit, like something is actively blocking the exchange of information. My biggest fear isn't even that I'm all alone. My biggest fear is that I might still only perceive bits and pieces of something bigger or worse, that my capacity to perceive all this is shrinking.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3795.182

Ich fand mich, als ich ein paar Schritte in den Tunnel reingekommen bin, als es herausgekommen ist, dass die Knochen mit Verlust wach waren, und eine riesige Leber mit einem schienlichen roten Knopf gedreht hat, eine Aktion, die unerlässlich von einem Geräusch wie ein Quackenduck ausgespült wurde.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3809.271

Instantly, a checkerboard-looking conveyor belt squealed to life, issuing forth the procession of what may have been dead pigs, though I couldn't see their heads, or even the ragged stumps where any may have once been attached. With a ridiculous slide-whistle sound, another huge object rose into view, an angular pink and purple funnel the size of a swimming pool.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3832.868

One by one, the mystery carcasses tumbled off the belt and into the huge trumpet, each followed by a torturous rending sound and a brief but voluminous geyser of thick brown blood. Stink was overpowering. That is, this is such a unique visual. Kind of reminds me of Killer Clowns from Outer Space almost. Yeah, yeah, it's very similar to that. Yeah, yeah.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3858.977

Like the giant Mickey Mouse hand, it's like... Yeah, just a fucked Peewees Playhouse.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3866.578

And there's just brown blood from rotten carcasses pouring out everywhere and stuff. Smells like death. And it's like... Oompa Loompas everywhere. Mesmerized by the spectacle of Willy Wonka's Sausage Factory, I nearly fell on my ass as a large object shot over my shoulder. A brainfly. It had come up through the tunnel behind me and narrowly dodged my head by a few inches.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3892.395

As my heart cautiously restarted itself, I filed away the knowledge that I was still of no obvious concern to the things, even intruding as I was into what may have been their headquarters or at least an extension of it. I wasn't sure whether or not that was reassuring.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3908.662

The Parasite had banked sharply upwards as it left the tunnel, but I could still hear the distinct fluttering of big, membranous wings between the whirring, grinding and occasional goofy honking of the factory. I craned my head, waiting for the irregular crackling of the equipment to illuminate the gloom.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3926.486

Sure enough, I could see hundreds, thousands of glistening, pinkish shapes passing a good 10 to 15 stories overhead, all in the same direction. I followed. A network of catwalks made navigation relatively easy, and I was usually able to keep sight of the concrete wall it emerged from. Tunnel entryways were frequent, brainflies periodically zipping through to join their brothers and sisters above.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3951.917

Even if I lost my way, I was confident that another tunnel might empty back into the real world, and probably in a populated area. Into bodies, after all. I shuddered. Not at the thought, but at how casually the thought had come. I was growing too used to this, but comfortably comfortable. The Seussian Slaughterhouse offered no shortage of grotesque spectacles. That is, wow.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3979.208

The Seussian Slaughterhouse? Yeah.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

3990.008

Yeah, there's like a trail. There's like entrails and like the blood so rotted it's black and the fly carrying it. Oompa loompa. Oompa dee doo. Das ist ein guter Satz. Das klingt wie ein Metallband. Oh, das bedeutet, dass einige Menschen lebendig sind und versuchen, nach hinten zu schwimmen? Das ist das, was ich vermute, aber...

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

400.433

I can write it down, I can record every last detail, but it's not going to matter if I become like everyone else. I could wake up tomorrow and look at my journal entries and only see a pile of mysterious cake recipes. Who the hell knows? Das erste, was ich gesehen habe, war eine der Pickup-Wände.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4025.749

Tauernde, zirkelhafte Zähne lagen wie faszinierende Ferrisbühnen, die ihren Weg durch Schlafen von soliderem, frischem Fleisch, das ganze Städte füttern könnte. Was für ein lebendiges Ding könnte so viel Fleisch haben? Ein stetiges Spannungsgeräusch schien ein Blender der Größe eines kleinen Hauses zu sein. Letztendlich war es nur ein gelagertes Haushaltsblender.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4047.455

Es hatte sogar einen riesigen Dial, obwohl es nur ein Label-Setting hatte.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4054.096

I suppose you could describe the endless truckloads of live, white mice pouring into as excited, in a sense. I passed bubbling lakes of entrails, fermenting tanks of gasping fish heads, mountains of broken, bloodied bone.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4070.124

An endless procession of meat hooks ferried a bizarre menagerie of carcasses along a tangled railway system, from skinned cattle to things I doubt you would have found in any textbook. Es gab insektenlose Formen, so groß wie ein Mann, dreckige Massen, die einen seltsamen, farbigen Eichhörnchen drehen, und etwas, das ich nur als hübschen Schwertfisch beschreiben kann. Die Anlage war so verwirrt.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4094.801

Es war ein Zeitpunkt, bevor ich sogar bemerkte, was mit den Meathooks selbst falsch war. Sie hatten keine Räder, aber hielten sich an den Rädern mit metallischen, spielerischen Beinen, tipptappend und mit steigender Geschwindigkeit. Je weiter ich nach vorne ging, desto lauter war das leckere, leckere Flappen der Alienflagge.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4113.963

Mehr und mehr Ströme konvergierten sich in eine Einzelmassenmigration, ihre kollektiven Hände nahezu aus dem Buzzingen, Grinden und Spattern der Fabrik. I still wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I knew I was getting closer.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4136.654

Yeah, I think they just, I mean, what's he gonna do? Like, I don't think they care about, the other option is that they're not made to care. They're like these blind bugs that only have one task, you know?

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4151.203

Ja, ja, sie wissen nicht, dass er noch existiert, weil er das Essen nicht gegessen hat. Oh, okay. Ich habe sechs Ebenen von meinem Startpunkt gestiegen, als ich mein erstes Rennen mit nicht-Brainfly-Leib hatte. Mein Gehirn hat fast versucht, es als ein Rat auszudrücken. Zuerst ein kleiner, weißer Schatz, der in meine Peripherie schlug.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4172.243

Wir haben uns beide gefroren, als ich mich für einen näheren Blick eingelassen habe. Das seltsame kleines Tier war nur ein paar Inch dick, blöd und einfach nur ein Mensch mit einem großen und fast sphärischen Kopf. Es erinnerte mich stark an einen von den Eggheads, aber es gab keine Chance, dass dieses Ding überhaupt ein Mensch gewesen wäre.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

418.704

Es war genau wie bei jedem anderen Fast-Food-Platz, aber es war auf der Seite meines eigenen verdammten Hauses. Das ist lustig. Nichts zu vermissen im Hintergrund, aber außerhalb war die Hälfte des Blocks auf meinem Frontlohn. reading over a glowing menu full of scribbly looking gibberish and receiving their meals, if you want to call them that, almost instantaneously.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4190.056

Wo es Augen sein sollte, gab es nur ein Paar blödsinnige, blödsinnige Löcher und seine Mund war ein einfaches, zirkelhafter Loch. In seinen blödsinnig-translucenten kleinen Händen nahm es einen Humpf Fleisch. Es sah nicht gefährlich aus, aber es könnte Feuer verursachen, für alles was ich wusste. Oh Gott. Oh Gott. Just the idea of shoving food into an open wound like an aisle.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4246.26

From that point on, the tiny creatures seemed to be everywhere. I'd catch them watching me from around corners or busily snatching scraps of food from the conveyor belts. As opposed to rat comparison wasn't that far off. But if the brain flies flew and the little goblin things were only vermin, exactly who or what had the catwalks been constructed for? I would get my answer soon enough.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4290.08

Oberhalb von mir war ein Fluss von Geisterfliegen, die durch einen 100 Meter breiten, nur groß genug waren, um ihre Wingspanne anzupassen. Ich konnte zusätzliche Flügel auf meiner linken und rechten Seite erzeugen, mehr leckere Flügel fliegen in. Das musste an der Heimatbasis sein, der Mutterschiff. Der Catwalk ging durch einen deutlich kleineren Flügel in etwas wie ein vastes Stadion.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4315.233

Distante elektrische Lichter bestätigten eine zirkelreiche Form, ungefähr einen Meilen lang. Its floor was solid, polished concrete, while its ceiling was obscured by a torrential storm of living bodies, dozens of brain flies, streams, converging into the open roof of a looming concrete tube at the center of it all.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4335.059

A good twenty stories in height, an eerie green glow poured from the top of the monolithic tower like some doorway to another realm. A wormhole back to whatever obscene universe the things truly called home. Eine dreidimensionale Webbewegung von verschlossenen Wegweiten, die das Ganze umgekehrt hat, mit einem Netz von enormen, grimmigen Pfeifen, die ein Semi-Pfeifen durchgezogen hätte.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4357.835

Es war alles so großartig, so horrifizierend. Ich habe mich fast nicht erkannt, dass ich immer noch vorbeigehe, mein Bein in dummer Faszination, und ich habe nicht sofort die Bedeutung eines metallischen Geräusches von hinter mir bemerkt. Ein Geräusch, als würde eine Tür geschlossen werden. Mein Gehirn schlug die Gedanken ein paar mehr Momente vor, bevor ich mich in einer Brüche von Panik bewegte.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4379.121

The tunnel had indeed closed off. The soft roar of the brainfly tornado was joined by a new sound, not unlike the bleeding of an alarm bell. And then came the meat. I had the good sense to start moving as soon as the near escaping pipe began to shudder and gurgle, trickling a thin stream of red-brown slime for a few moments before finally erupting with a torrent of chunky sludge. All meat.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4405.536

Meat and meat juice. Ein paar Yards away another pipe vomited to life. At first I thought the intention would be to drown me. I didn't doubt for a second that there was enough meat in the factory plumbing to fill this place completely. But it was quickly apparent that my demise wouldn't be so simple. The meat seemed to spread out much farther than mere gravity would dictate.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4429.726

Wherever I ran, it seemed to flow directly towards me, winding in streams like the pseudopods of an enormous amoeba. Not my imagination. It was the worst case scenario, but at this point, far from surprising. I'd already seen moving, twitching things come out of the take-out windows.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4449.147

Things that couldn't possibly have been alive, but wriggled frantically, even as they were torn apart and devoured the increasingly fatter, greasier mouths of my neighbors. A chain of green-tinged sausages rose shakily from a nearby heap like an intoxicated cobra. Er gab ein wenig.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

446.603

They all acted like it was their usual mundane lunch stop. Even while the mail lady sucked some rancid looking glop out of a plastic pouch, congealed blood dripping down her chin, she told me it was the best she'd ever had. All my questions were met with those blank stares and stupid smiles. I couldn't tell who or what was actually handing out the food or where it was coming from.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4467.559

Aus den oberen Ecken des Kammes kam die lebendige Leidenschaft, die mich näher an die Tauern drückte, wo ich keine Wahl hatte, sondern die Katzen zu besiegen. Ich würde wahrscheinlich andersherum sterben, und es wäre wahrscheinlich furchtbar. Am liebsten würde ich einen Blick in einen alienen Weltraum auf dem Weg raus nehmen.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4499.916

You think it is aliens? I don't know. Maybe the bug things are. Whatever they are. Could be. Entry 5.4. A few managed to catch up with me or even cut me off momentarily, but the shovel turned out to be an excellent choice. When I couldn't smash or sever, I heaved over the side. Something like an inside-out penguin toddled up to my feet on the fourth level.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4548.349

One good smack and it crunched wetly into a perfect comical disc, still wiggling uselessly. Like it just slaps the shit out of it.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4560.965

Rancid Brains burst like spoiled pumpkins under my wrath. A writhing mass of intestines inexplicably squealed and died once I chopped off what it was loosely employing as a head end.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4574.014

A giant heap of pinkish slime gave me some momentary trouble on the sixth level, shrugging off one blow after another until I was stricken by its overwhelming chemical stink and brandished one of my flares, hoping it might be flammable. So I knew exactly what I was thinking. It retreated like a snail into a rusted metal drum it had been lugging around. That's cool.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4597.27

It's like messing with him and when he attacks like a hermit crab, it like crawls back into the metal drum. Though individually pathetic, the meat creatures were persistent and increasingly bizarre. Somewhere on the 8th, possibly 9th level, I turned around to find a big fish head attempting to sneak up behind me, tiptoeing comedically on a pair of eerily human, feminine legs.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4623.92

It froze up when I coughed, as though realizing too late that I'd been watching it for a good 4 or 5 of its exaggerated, sneaking steps.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4631.988

literally a fish head with woman legs like oh sorry hope you don't mind me some fat white bug like a woodlouse tumbled out of the fishes mouth chittering angrily and fled on its hind legs before I knocked the fish thing over the edge that's talking about those little isopod things that eat fishes tongues instead of their mouths you know what I'm talking about yeah exactly yeah

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4662.276

The further I progressed, the weirder the things emerging from the factory's plumbing, things that must have grown and festered far longer in its lightless metal bowels. I could barely liken some of them to any animal or body part. Pustuled yellow tubes looped along like inchworms, and tentacled black blobs foundered like stranded fish in pools of their own yellow-green secretions.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4686.044

I was waging a war against hot dog scraps from Planet X. Entry 5.4 over, now Entry 5.5. I was beginning to feel like a hero after all, like I was living my own video game. Diese selbstwahrnehmende Höhe wurde kurz auf dem 15. Niveau gedreht, als der erste echte Rutsch in meine Strategie von Hitting mit der Waffe eingeführt wurde. Das Ding, das meinen Weg blockierte, war nicht aus Fleisch.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

470.521

I could only see blackness. At least that's how I remember it. Maybe I saw something else, but it's gone now. God, it was only the beginning.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4733.244

Nicht auf der Außenwelt, zumindest. Es sah aus, als wäre es vollständig aus Stein, ruckartig und fast schwarz. A torso like a department store mannequin stood atop three jointed, knobbly legs, and its single arm terminated in a pair of jagged tongs, periodically clacking shut. The oversized head resembled some sort of huge pot or boiler with a pair of cartoonish, painted-on eyes.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4760.141

An orange-yellow glow could be seen through its many cracks and vents. That's cool. Das ist so ein cooles Design. Da ist ein kleines Karton von ihm da oben. Siehst du das? Ja, ich habe es da oben gesehen. Ein kleines Karton. Das ist so ein cooles Design. Das ist wie eine Menge Metall zusammengebracht, aber es gibt eine Entität darin. Das ist verrückt.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4779.701

Ich habe nicht gespürt, dass es so viel zu tun hätte, um diesen zu machen. Und es hat weder gebacken noch angekommen. Es stand einfach da, wartet, um mich zu bewegen. I could see a dense river of meat bodies surging along the path only three levels below, making the same slow spiral around the tower as I was. Fragile or not, there was no way I could keep their numbers at bay forever.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4802.896

I wondered if I'd be taken alive. A dozen images flashed through my mind. The eggheads, the things I'd seen here, things I'd seen in PETA propaganda videos. Any one of them could be my fate.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4817.348

The voice snapped me back to reality. Wenn man das als Realität nennen würde. Es kam von vor mir. Von dem Roboter-König, oder was auch immer es war.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4833.562

Außer dessen verbrannten Sprache von Pronomen, sprach es Englisch mit unglaublicher Klarheit. Seine Stimme war weich und feminin, mit nur einer kleinen metallischen Qualität. I'm sorry. I'm sorry? It was all I could manage, still dazed. We can put you right back where you belong, little thingadog.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4859.153

You'll never know. I knew exactly what it was talking about, the brainwashing. As far as I knew, I was making first contact with a non-human intelligence, and I had a billion questions about what they were doing to us, where they came from, what else was out there in the universe or multiverse or whatever we might be living in. Only one thing actually came out. Fuck yourselves.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4882.536

It sighed a hollow metal sigh, a little smoke escaping from its face vent. It seemed to sink a little at my response.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4893.839

It rose threateningly on its three legs, and I realized what it reminded me of. A barbecue grill. Oh, cool. In the blink of an eye, its clawed arm shot out and clamped around the handle to my precious shovel, effortlessly tearing it from my grip and dropping it to the walkway. Fuck. It shot out again and this time got me by the neck.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4915.02

It slammed me to the ground, taking apparent care not to choke me just yet, but at least caused considerable pain. Its legs clanged noisily as it positioned itself directly over me and planted its metal ass directly onto my stomach, pinning me down even tighter. Lines of black grease began to roll down the thing's artificial face, sizzling furiously.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4938.718

I screamed weakly through the creature's grasp when a single, tiny droplet met the exposed skin of my arm. It felt like being branded.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

494.173

You know what this reminds me of? This is very Invader Zim.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4953.329

It spoke out the laughter like it was reading from a bad script. If its eyes had been real, it would have been looking directly into mine. And if it had lips, I'm sure they would be smiling. Ich bin nach vorne gedreht, der Öl ist nun in einem dünnen Garten geblasen, versuchte jeden Moment zu starten, und riechte in Strömen auf meine ausgewählte Gesichter.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4972.356

Die Klaue um meinen Nacken zerstörte sich, schlug endlich meine Luftflaschen ab. Es wird meine Augen auslösen, während es mich zu Tod schwingte. Ich lasse die Dinge am Arm gehen, um mein Gesicht so gut wie möglich zu schützen. Ich wünschte mir, dass ich das Wissen habe, dass ich schwere, grüne Glöckchen tragen werde, als ich den Turm der kräftigen Kräfte erwartete.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

4989.499

Die Dinge gurgeln, bis sie einen Fieber-Pitch erreichen.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5001.555

Die Gerüste kamen nicht. Ich habe meine Hände aus meinen Augen entfernt. Ich sah, dass der Monster seinen Kopf von mir entfernt hat. Es schrie. Ich konnte nicht sagen, was es anseht, bis es unerwartet das Gras an meinem Nacken löst und an seinen Füßen fliegt. Ich konnte kleine, weiße Formen aus den Körnern meiner Augen sehen.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5027

Es wailte wie ein Kind, als das rumpelige Hobgoblin seinen metalen Körper aufgeräumt hat, wie dünne Gecko-Lizarden. Es begann zu stürzen, um sein Bestes zu holen, um den teuersten Pest mit einem einzigen Arm auszupacken, aber sie schliefen durch die Klaue wie Gemüse.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5041.566

Ich war nicht sicher, wie lange es sich enttäuschen würde, und ich schlief vor meiner Schaufel, bevor ich schmerzhaft an meinen Füßen zitterte. Ich konnte die schwelmende Legion von Fleisch nur einen Niveau unten sehen.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5058.487

The hobgoblins had pried the lid off that rusty grilled head, exposing an oily, blackened little form underneath. It was too tangled and burnt to make out, but I could see various limbs waving frantically to keep the gremlin things at bay. I raised the shovel, prepared to strike.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5077.384

All at once, the little creatures snapped their heads in my direction and dropped like flies from the metal being, falling to the path and scattering out of sight. The grill face, too, turned towards me.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5090.891

You have no idea what... I let out a berserk howl as I brought down the shovel squarely onto that black, twitching body, splatting it with a wet crunch and a deafening bang against the white-hot grill it rested upon.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5105.094

The metal construct stood still and silent for several agonizing moments before it finally began to pitch backward, creaking like a rusty door before banging to the ground, dead or asleep or whatever the shit I just did. I prodded it a few times before cautiously stepping around it and continuing up. Something didn't want me to reach the top and I felt pretty good about it.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5128.449

Into 5-5, heading into 5-6. 5-6, let's go. The rest of my climb was relatively uneventful, broken only by the odd hot dog squid or scuttling pork ribs. It was a full 23 flights up that I was at last roughly level with the top of the tower, the walkway branching around it in a perfect wall-to-wall spider's web.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5151.929

Auf der Nähe, die Seite der Gehirnfliege, war mehr großartig und furchtbarer, als ich es mir vorgestellt hätte. Basiert auf dieser alienen Lichtstärke, war das rührende Funnel eines menschlichen Lebens fast zu schön, um von ehemaligen menschlichen Blüten zu fliegen. Die Todesstärke, die sie repräsentiert haben, musste überflüssig sein.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5169.321

Diese schreckliche Schönheit klatschte eher hart mit der Figur, die ein paar Yarden vor mir stand, auf einer aufgeräumten, rektangulären Plattform. Die Rückseite drehte sich nach mir, als sie die Tauern überblickte und mit einer großen Kontrollkonsole fischerte. Ich blickte hart, um zu versuchen, ihre seltsame Form zu registrieren.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5186.428

Sie hatte keinen offenen Kopf oder Nacken, ihr Körper nur eine breite, runde Masse, wie ein Quatsch-Berl, ein Paar schmutzige, dunkle Lippen, die von ihren Seiten ausgestattet wurden. In a chef's hat. Like a logo.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5224.699

Es war einfach nur ein Hamburger in einem Chefsitz. Das ist lustig. Wenn ich auf ihn aufstehen könnte, könnte ich meinen mächtigen Blatt direkt in seine große, dumme Bratwurst schlagen. Es gibt keinen Weg, dass er mich über die Teaming-Bugsen hören könnte. Ich habe meinen ersten, leichten, vorsichtigen Schritt gemacht. Es hat sich umgekehrt. Hello?

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5273.772

The moldering sandwich stood still for a few more moments before those slimy eyeballs rolled in their lidless sockets, as if I just said or done something even more ridiculous than the thing's very existence. I almost began stammering a follow-up statement when one of its slimy appendages suddenly reached for a huge, bright red switch on its console and nonchalantly pressed it.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5295.738

It raised one sludgy beef hand and gave a sort of toodaloo finger wave as its entire platform abruptly plunged through the floor and disappeared out of sight. The elevator shaft sealed off behind it and moments later the catwalk began to flood with activity. Into 5-6, going into 5-7. 5-7. Von irgendwo auf der anderen Seite des gläubigen, fliegenden Gehirntornados kamen tausende neuer Formen.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

531.782

But there's this scene where, like, Dib and his sister were eating at the restaurant. And the big, like, mascot comes over. He's like, oh, eat your food or whatever. And it shows him in the background walk to, like, the back office. But right before he does, he stops. And he quickly grabs a child and the child's screaming. And he just takes the child into the back office.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5319.79

Mehlbeeren riefen aus einem unbekannten neuen Abgang, bereits größer und kräftiger als die üblichen Rejekte, die ich gedrängt hatte. Ich dachte nicht, dass meine kleinen Gremlins-Freunde mit Flamethrowern nahe waren. First thing to reach me was a squiggly, bear-sized yellow mass of soft, tangled limbs rolling along at a seemingly abnormal speed.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5342.348

It looked almost like an octopus, until a long neck snaked out from its warty folds, snapping at me with an orange beak. A giant, boneless chicken. Just like a giant, yeah. Just like a big, fleshy chicken. Yeah, that's fine. Why was this my life? Breach.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5364.043

With a surge of contemptuous bloodlust, I hacked mercilessly into the abominable thing long after it had ceased moving, only for something else to whistle just over my head. Damn, he's just going around and fucking killing everything. Just slashing left and right, tearing meat apart.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5381.886

I spun around in the shredded remnants of the Octobird, coming face to featureless doll crotch with a pair of skinned legs six feet high and fused to the hips. Ich staggerte zurück, schlug schmerzhaft in die geschlossenen Hähnchen und landete flach auf meinem Rücken. Die Beine zerstörten sich in knusprigen, knusprigen Hähnchen aus Blut, die furchtbar auf dem Metallmess des Wegweges hängen.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5405.325

Sie erhielten wieder einen schmerzhaften Hähnchen in die Luft, schlug direkt vor meine Augen, und es war ein Wunder, dass ich die Schraube kurz genug zwischen uns hielt. Die Beine sahen momentan zu verschwinden mit der Geschwindigkeit ihres Schrecks. It took a moment to regain its balance as it bounced off the shovel, the thin tips of its bone holding up distressingly well.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5424.165

I barely managed to sit upright as it took a stab from my heart and I scrambled to my feet just in time to deflect a third strike. Enraged, I swung the shovel like a barbarian's axe and the legs toppled. While they flailed over the guardrails, I could swear to God I heard them utter a soft, high-pitched... Nope. Ja. Ja.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5479.158

I attempted to flee down another branch of the metal web, but my course was soon interrupted by a clattering, scarecrow-like assemblage of bone shards and flimsy sinew, chattering its many fractured, dog-like skulls as it swung a large, sawtooth jawbone at my stomach. I struck back with my own weapon, its skull splintering even further beyond recognition. My adrenaline was surging.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5503.909

As single-minded as the gore-faced hordes themselves, I demolished one twisted child of Satan's deli after another. I toppled shuffling golems of pork scraps, wailing ghouls of tripping lard, a serpentine mass of fused chicken feet and even the giant squeaking heart, its arteries dousing me with geysers of hot blood as its throbbing at last subsided.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5524.885

I was almost disappointed by how easy it had all been. I shouldn't have been. As I stood in a puddle of mashed viscera, blood and who knows what else streaming off my face, I heard a mysterious clang echo through the vast space. I felt the walkway shudder under my feet. It was followed by another. Clang. The shaking intensified. Clang.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5548.075

It reminded me, rather uncomfortably, of huge, heavy footsteps on the grated floor. Two guesses what it was. Come on, I dare you. Into 5-7, into 5-8. Do you want to try guessing what it is? I think it's going to be a big, it's going to be one of the metal things, because the metal things seem to be the biggest issue, because he can just cut the meat with a shovel, right?

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5574.36

I think it's going to be some kind of metal implement. What do you think?

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5582.906

How do you feel about the Hamburger Man?

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5618.442

Yeah, it's similar to that, where it is keeping... I mean, our story started off with people just shoving food in their face, and then there's giant walking pieces of meat. So the hamburger mascot we've seen this whole time being the end boss is kind of fun. The idea of it rolling as high as them. It's a fun story. Like I said, very Invader Zim. If more bloody and over the top.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5638.93

What was that comic that the creator of Invader Zim did before? Johnny the Homicidal Maniac?

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

564.524

Das ist ein bisschen seltsam. Alle Restaurants in der Stadt, die echten anyway, sind typisch abgelaufen. Angehörige zeigen sich noch zu einigen, aber sie erkennen nicht, dass keine Kunden aufhören. Einige von ihnen bieten sogar neue Fenster an, die ihre ganze Geschäftsführung parasitisch zerstören. The thing seems to multiply constantly.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5646.158

It feels like a midpoint between Invaders M and that. Shout out Jonan Vasquez. Entry 5.8 As the stomping grew louder, an even larger figure emerged from the other side of the flying brain tornado, a shape looming 15 feet tall in the dim, flickering green light.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5669.637

Wie die Pressure Cooker Bitch, oder was auch immer das war, hatte sie eine größtenteils metallische Ausstellung, obwohl sie gleichzeitig seltsam organisch war. Sein spinniger, fast skelettischer Körper sah nicht so aus, als wäre es schwer genug gewesen, den Boden so gewaltig zu schlagen. Seine langen, schmutzigen Beine, die in dünnen, schwarzen Talons terminierten.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5690.196

Die Mehrheit ihres Gewichts war wahrscheinlich in der Hände konzentriert, sofort erkennbar als die Form eines Sausagegrinders, langsam mit jedem laboriösen Schritt. A pair of slimy eyeballs, like the Burger Man's, stared down at me from one side of this huge contraption. And where there should have been a handle was only a black skeletal arm, ending in another one of those white cartoon gloves.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

57.756

I took a lot of pictures. Anyway, he's dead now, but I will continue to do this podcast. This is actually what you're about to see, the last episode we recorded together. I will continue to do it. I will do it by myself or with someone else. To be honest, the paycheck is just way too good at this point.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5714.517

I like the cartoon effects, too, of everything. Like the machines being very cartoonish in the designs.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5723.181

Yeah, that looks great, what this dude looks like. Its worst characteristic by far was the way it breathed, a hollow metallic wheeze of increasing speed and intensity, the painting of some starving dog who just caught a whiff of fresh roadkill.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5740.069

It stepped effortlessly from one catwalk to another, like a spider scrambling in slow motion along the strands of its web, and as it drew closer, something unimaginably worse began to happen. The meat, all the meat I had just slaughtered for at least its second time,

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5756.886

was beginning to move once more as one the mutilated whores around me began to rise stumble and drag themselves towards the grinder headed giant whose single arm shot out the moment one groping rolling pile of giblets came within its impressive reach it lifted the shining sticky mass up to the filth caked funnel on the top of its grinder head and dropped it straight in

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5781.221

Es führte weiter in meine Richtung, rückgängig mehr Monster aufzupacken und sie in ihr oberes Orifice zu werfen, bis sie fast über die Seiten spielten. Ein flaches Wasserhaufen voller Blut und Inhalte.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5794.184

Das Ding war langsam, aber als ich von einem Ende des Spiderswebens nach dem nächsten rannte, fand ich alle möglichen Entfernungselemente festgehalten und bis jetzt hatte das Fleisch, das von unten herrschte, fast mein Niveau erreicht. Es gab keinen Weg raus. Es gab nichts zu kämpfen. Ich konnte nur weiterlaufen. Das ist so eine coole Idee.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5811.497

Die Idee ist, dass wenn all das Fleisch zerstört wird, die Fleischgrinder-Kreatur aufsteht und sie in verschiedene Formen wiederherstellt. Ja, wie sie sie wiederherstellen.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5828.386

Ja, das ist so eine coole Idee. Ich schaue zurück auf den Grinder-Bean, immer noch ponderös, aber unerwartet mich in einer direkten Linie zu bewegen, als ich gezwungen wurde, zu zigzaggen. Es schlug das letzte störende Monster auf, eine Art spiegelgelegtes weißes Päckchen, das sich an nichts erinnerte, und schlug es mit dem Rest ein.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

583.662

I've seen them indoors, outdoors, on houses, on trucks, even one on a tree. A window to nowhere on the trunk of a tree dispensing deep-fried slop to an ignorant gaggle of hikers.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5849

Ohne zu langsam zu gehen, klingelte das Monster seine nun blutgesohnte Klappe und begann, sein gesamtes Arm in seinen Schlauch zu drehen, rundum und rundum mit einem rutschigen Geräusch, die gesammelten Mutanten zu schütteln und zu schütteln, als sie sich tiefer in den Grinder gesackt wurden.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5865.353

I turned to continue running, but made it only a few more yards before a sickening, flatulent sputtering sound echoed through the chamber and something thick, warm and wet slammed hard into my back. The catwalk dropped away as I was swung through the air and brought to face with the grinder man's unblinking gaze.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5892.281

I was being held tight in an enormous, pulpy pink hand, wavering on the end of a tentacular limb, comprised entirely of raw, grounded meat. It had formed the limb from every walking nightmare I had spent the last of my energy putting down, and flung it like a lizard's tongue, with pinpoint accuracy instantly subduing me from a good 20 meters away. I squirmed...

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5919.888

I squirmed and thrashed desperately, but only felt further mired in the dense, tarry muck. The crank arm continued to twist, and more squirming noodles of processed tissue slithered along the length of its makeshift appendage, cocooning me in more layers of raw flesh. I was reminded yet again of a spider.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5942.39

Die Idee, dass das Blut in der Hand herunterkommt, als es gekrankt wird, und es sich einfach hinkasiert. Als ich mich tiefer in den stinken, schmutzigen Meier erinnerte, fand ich mich plötzlich entzündet von dem, was direkt hinter dem metallischen Gianten war. Ich konnte endlich in die Tauern, in den Vortex sehen. Hinunter, wo diese wütenden Alienbrain-Hatchen alle so schnell gehen.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

5967.933

At first I was only confused. The significance of what I was seeing almost didn't want to register. Bitter, rancid meat juices were beginning to flood my mouth. Tendrils of beef sludge were probing at my eyes and nose. My world was going black. I was being smothered to death. But on the inside, I just couldn't stop laughing. Entry 5.8 over, are you ready for 5.9? That picture is insane.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6017.722

Okay, bist du bereit für 5.9? They had apparently neither wished to kill me nor erase my memories. I guess they knew, as well as I did, there was nothing I could do to them. After all, if cattle couldn't do much to change their fate, what hope could there be for the cattle feed? Alright, so it says a bonus entry is the available if all the passwords are entered as one word.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6070.909

So I guess there's like an ARG element to this that let you unlock another part of the story. But here with creepypasta.com, we just have that last part of the story pasted to read. Yeah, just entry six here. Skipping that part. Entry six. So this was the secret entry after all of that. I tried to get a Fountain Coke at the 7-Eleven.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

608.909

Es ist lustig zu vorstellen, dass es wie... wie... ein Void aus dem Baum kommt und es sie wie gebratenen Butter anzieht. Sie sind so...

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6093.072

Some sort of pinkish gunk coiled out like soft serve, smelling like hot bologna. I cut open what I thought was a watermelon. The inside was a lot like a brain. I unwrapped an Almond Joy and got nothing but the length of bone, filled with a clear yellow mush. I put money into a Coke machine. I saw the bottle tumble to the bottom. I reached through the door.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6115.619

All I pulled out was a heart, still beating. I crawled it to the pavement and stomped it into nothing but a red, sticky stain. I came home starving, not even surprised by the flock of chickens hobbling around my front lawn, plucked and headless. I staggered to my kitchen and cracked into another box of cereal from my dwindling stash. Cat food stink. Cartoon hamburger.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6138.878

The words SUPERIOR FOOD MATTER had replaced Frosted Flakes. Tony the Tiger was just a grainy photograph of a bobcat. Das ist wirklich lustig, wenn man sich ein Bild eines Bobcats anschaut und es sagt, dass es eine superiorer Ernährung ist. Eine Box von Glücklichen Charmen hat jetzt gesagt, dass eine Tissue-Rinde über eine schlechte JPEG-Stockart eines Unbewusstes Leprechaun ist.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6170.75

Die Cheerios sind geworden. Orgasmus-Part. Und Fluiden. Der Rest der Box wurde dominiert von einem Zusammenhang von klammernden grünen Intestinen. I rummaged through the whole supply in a daze. Red blood materials? Marvelous food nugget! None of this was there when I bought it. I didn't bring home anything with a single letter out of whack. Last box used to be Cocoa Puffs, my favorite. Damn.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6200.338

Fred Flintstone still looked like Fred Flintstone, just far too real. I could see every pore of his lifelike, fleshy nose. This was now apparently a box of... Flavored meal substance. Whatever. What the hell ever. I ate it. I ate it and it was delicious. So was the mysterious can of... Your sick favored meat paste. Waiting for me on my coffee table.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6229.843

So was the cup of what looked, smelled and tasted like liquid bacon straight from my own tap. The black thing in the refrigerator was as sweet as maple ham, even if it looked like the bastard child of a caterpillar and a starfish. The best thing by far was the steak. The huge, red, juicy steak ready for me in the seat of my car. It wasn't even the flavor that made it so good. It was the screaming.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6253.967

What a classic way to end a creepypasta kind of thing.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

627.982

There was, I'll never forget, when I was a kid, I remember there was a story being ran that a county fair somewhere was serving deep fried butter. Oh yeah. They took a stick of butter and fried it.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6276.372

Well, yeah. I mean, you know, it's interesting to see

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6310.076

Because that's like one thing I find, even in my own work. As I do, there was a giant hamburger man that rolled his eyes at him.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6352.724

I think it's very much so who framed Roger Rabbit. I think I was on point with the Invader Zim thing. It's very cartoonish over the top. There's giant talking pieces of meat, but the descriptions of people eating the meat are super gross and disgusting. So it works on the gross out horror side, but otherwise it's trying to be zany. I mean, look at the art that's done with it.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6375.32

It's a very playful comedy horror type thing. Comedy body horror. It's a very unique vibe.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6413.08

Yeah, I liked it. I thought it was very... It was ludicrous. It was very absurdist in a lot of its descriptions and stuff like that. I thought it was pretty good. I enjoy the angle. I like the idea how it starts.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6426.625

It's like these parasitic growths going everywhere and then people turn into these eggheads that birth these flies and the flies lead them to this super factory where these things are created. I assume at the end when it's talking about... I couldn't bear to see it. I just started laughing. My idea is that the thing they're flying into is like a giant digestive system, right? Hence that picture.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6454.001

So maybe all of these brain things are to feed whatever this creature is. Maybe everything that's happening is the effect of some giant organism beneath the earth, right? Yeah.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6499.774

Yeah, he says this line at the end of 5.9 where he says, I guess they knew as well as I did that there was nothing I could do to them. After all, if cattle couldn't do much to change their fate, what hope could there be for cattle feed? Because earlier in the story he made the metaphor that perhaps humans are cattle to the slaughter, but now he's saying humans are the cattle feed.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6518.329

So these things, these brain bugs or whatever, are being fed by people and then they feed some greater organism, some entity within the earth that can never hope to be stopped.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6566.667

It's like you have this giant entity beneath the earth that does this whole biological process that we can't hope to understand. And then you have our protagonist who kind of dives into it. And yeah, it's very schlocky with him attacking it with a shovel and stuff like that. But again, this is a story with giant talking hamburgers. So, you know, what do you want? Yeah.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6588.562

There's a lot of fun campy violence and there's a lot of gross out horror. Someone in the comments said, it's like if H.P. Lovecraft had to make a Goosebumps story.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6665.855

Was it just say creeped? Who up creeping? Well, we said stay creeped for a while. Yeah, but the merch said who up creeping they cast. No, I get that. I'm bringing back stay creeped. Okay, well, you have fun with that. I'm going to say who up creeping they cast. Who up meeting they... Who up burging their entries? Who up entering their burgers? I like that. Who's up entering their burgers?

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6693.174

Do you remember that McChicken video? No. Oh, boy. Errol, be sure to send that to Hunter's DMs.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

6710.147

No, we won't. Bye-bye, everybody. Bye-bye. Be sure to send that to Hunter's DMs. Thank you. Bye. Musik Musik Musik Musik Musik

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

697.79

Das ist das, wofür ich hier bin. Aber ehrlich gesagt, ein Stück deep-fried Butter zu essen, ist eine Form von Selbstmord, denke ich. Du solltest mit jemandem sprechen, wenn du das willens bestellst. Aber nein, also diese Wände sind wie... Ich mag die Idee, dass es auf Fast-Food-Gruppen zeigt, aber irgendwo anders. Wie ein Barnakel auf einem Hebel oder so. Es wächst einfach auf dem Boden.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

722.443

Das ist eine interessante Idee. All of the products are meat, or some vague semblance thereof. I can't always tell what kind of animal or even what kind of body part it used to be. I've seen things that could have been dredged from some black, godless deep-sea trench. Gelatinous slabs of flesh in blindingly unnatural colors. Fried bugs just slightly larger than any I thought existed.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

75.006

So yeah, just wanted to give you that little update that he is dead and you should continue to remind him of that going forward. Thank you. And here's the episode, I guess. Bye.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

751.045

It isn't just the windows, either. I've started seeing this shit right on supermarket shelves. Foreign-looking packages with that same jimberish language on it. Occasional bouts of quasi-English like... Give me a nice or.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

775.288

Es hat alle das selbe dumme Logo drauf, auch. Manchmal ist es direkt in den Füßen von mir gebürtelt. Ein witziges, cartoonisches Hamburger in einem kleinen Chefshaft. Manchmal klingelt es, manchmal nicht. Manchmal ist es nur so, nachdem ich weggeguckt habe. Oh Gott. Oh, oh, oh. The Weather Lady shows up looking like an extra from a slasher movie. Red stains increasingly thick on a blouse.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

818.132

I don't think she's changed in weeks. Nobody else cares. Nobody thinks anything is odd or new or different. Nobody but me. My appetite for meat is thoroughly dead, to say the least. I don't think I could ever trust it again. But I've noticed non-meat products are growing steadily rarer.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

837.383

Ich sollte es nicht sagen, wenn du es bereits lesen und verstehen könntest, aber für die Liebe Gottes, esse es nicht. Schnauze es nicht, schnauze es nicht, versuche es nicht zu riechen. Je mehr Menschen es essen, desto weniger actieren sie wie sich selbst. Je lustiger sie reden, desto lustiger sind sie.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

862.248

If you know something's up, but you can't see what I'm seeing, I advise you to stick to cereal. I haven't found anything fishy about any of the cereal yet. I can't begin to postulate what's behind it all. Aliens? Terrorists? Illuminati? Reptilioids? I could believe damn near anything at this point. Das ist das Ende von Entry 1.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

884.025

Ja, das fühlt sich sehr ähnlich an zu einem, ist es ein Carpenter-Film?

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

922.568

It's about consumerism. Yeah.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

95.763

I think I said injuries. Entries. Could lead to some burger injuries. We'll find out. We'll see. So this story is made by an author named Jonathan Wojcik. Wojcik? I think that's a... It's a Polish or some kind of European name. He also goes by Mordesheen online. And while it seems like on the website, the insidious bog leech...

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

964.219

What is going on here? It's funny because you can imagine this is like someone who's mentally ill, like having a breakdown. Or if this is true and like no one realizes it's wrong and he's right, then he would be the only person. It'd be similar to what's that for? Psychosis. The one where he's the one guy left and everyone else is crazy.

CreepCast

Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

986.691

Gives me similar vibes to that, but it's an interesting concept.

CreepCast

Berries In The Window | Creep Cast

1226.035

I was just waiting for you to have some snide remark or comment too.

CreepCast

Berries In The Window | Creep Cast

274.422

Die Campfire Sauce ist toll.

CreepCast

Berries In The Window | Creep Cast

4263.79

Oh yes, we are so delighted to be going home soon. Is this not your home? No. We've all only been here for about a month. I guess all of us have, except for you. I remember when the pastor finally messaged you. He ruined one of his last good robes in those woods.

CreepCast

Berries In The Window | Creep Cast

4307.887

I was real sorry to hear what happened to your girl, but... Wir waren alle versprochen, es zu heilen. Und wir haben die gute Freude, es zu bekommen.

CreepCast

Berries In The Window | Creep Cast

4998.541

Jeder hier sieht nach Alan aus.

CreepCast

Berries In The Window | Creep Cast

5743.567

Now you bring my son to me.

CreepCast

Berries In The Window | Creep Cast

6559.036

Musik Musik Musik Musik

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10013.684

But it's just ways of how you bury things down, how you compartmentalize things to yourself, how interactions have meanings. And over time, you forget about things. But things still linger and they fester. They, like, scab over. And when you pick at it, you know, it's going to...

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10028.448

reveal itself again so i to me it was a way of somebody at a different stage of their life revisiting that thing and being able to come out of it you know and it's it's done in this way where it's not so ham-fisted to where you know it has this kind of like you know almost redemption or you know it's not like it's totally laid out in front of you know you or even how i read i don't think it was something that was just such a heavy parallel that's just how i read it but yeah and what even the end he says i'm just glad it's over i'm glad to be going back to work

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10056.417

like a regular person, making banana smoothies, not thinking about sinister internet cafes. I really do remember the Egypt and the hole, and it's really all twisted. The way that I read that ending is just him being like... I guess I'm glad that I processed this thing. I'm glad that I can re-enter society as a regular person, go back to the things that were normal that I know.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10082.833

But I can acknowledge that that thing was there. That's how I read it. At least that's the reason why, to me, it doesn't feel like it was just a dream. It feels like something... more substantial than that. It meant like, sure.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10103.411

It all went somewhere. And that's what I think that's a big, uh, that's a big difference between things like this and something that's a dream.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10110.2

Usually whenever people go for that kind of cliche, it's just a dream, is because you get to the high point of action and you don't have anywhere to go and then the person wakes up versus a character arc of somebody revisiting something, fighting through it, and then like...

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10125.407

being able to walk out of it or being able to leave it consciously like making a deserted effort making a decision a choice to leave you know because the thing too is he probably could have just followed this beat the dudes in the bee costume they're creepy and weird probably could have followed him the whole time right yeah he always could have got out yeah

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10144.744

Yeah, but it's how you perceive the things. It's how he ran away out of fear, not being able to confront these things, like listen to them, do whatever. And I think at the end, him kind of just giving into this thing was in a way him listening to himself finally, you know?

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10218.137

Well, that's the thing is, Holy Moses, I do think, is our main character. Because also, it's just... There's just a lot of, like, sexual innuendos. I mean, like, the whole... Also, birds and bees. It's the birds and bees.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10231.747

It's about reproducing that kind of thing. Even he himself is reborn into the world at the end of the story, you know? And then, you know, if it is a traumatic thing about something of, like, an online predator or whatever kind of thing, if you want to associate with that, it is...

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10280.243

No, no. And I, you know, it was, it was on this edge of doing too much with like the Soviets in the seventies and stuff to where I'm like, I don't care. Like I'm at this part where, right. I'm on the edge of my seat.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10292.587

You keep hopping between these awesome vignettes of creepy things, but then they're also, like, developing more in the character, and things are kind of unraveling in a weird way where it's like, I don't really need to know the specifics. I just need you to, like, keep me on this ride.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10305.835

And I think that it did it enough in a way to where that was, like, the only thing I would change is just be like, get rid of that shit of, like, it was, you know, the 70s Soviets or all that kind of stuff.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10323.889

Yeah. And I think that that's fine, but I'm just saying like, that doesn't, I don't care. Sure.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10335.22

yeah in a way of trying to trying to make sense of something but not being able to is fine i think like later in that deal but at the same point it's like having this character tell me about uh these things it just i'm like i don't we're past me like yeah i'm totally bought into the mysticism that the story is giving yeah you know and the more that we linger out of that the more where i'm like well what does that make sense you know it's it's that kind of shit it

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

104.016

Yeah, I love beautiful people. I wish all the uggos out there would just get out of the way and let me look at all the pretty people in the world. Apparently, Jared's one of them, so I say thank God. If you haven't done it yet, please go to Spotify. Check out these episodes there if you like listening to audio. I guess this is just playing on the background.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10465.171

No, like I said, I think it's a strong story. I think that from the angle of how I read it, I think I enjoy the take of repressed trauma and people – how people can live and coexist in that thing and how people can like kind of remember horrible shit that's happened to them collectively. Like having this person come back and say, you can live in there forever.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10485.631

You know, I think it's just a way of being like, you know, you can be completely succumbed and sub seduced by your past experiences in that way. I think that, you know, it makes me think about this because I really like the idea. I like the... It had like a bunch of fun moments where it's just like, ooh, creepy and weird and it was fun to sit through. And I think that the only other thing that...

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10509.471

I wish this story had more. It was maybe more character development with our protagonist. You know, we think about like the heaviest hitters on the show. And I think it's just because as with any story, you have to be really bought in with a character and like give a fuck about him. Not to say that I didn't care about him here, but I guess comparing him to...

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10531.542

like the cast of characters in like Left Right Game or, you know, even the protagonists in In Pal or that kind of thing. I think just trying to figure out more of who this person was after you set up the creepy stuff, you know? And this is such, it's just such a nitpick thing to say, but I guess it's just a thought that I have leaving the story is,

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10555.504

it's very memorable and I'm curious to see where my mind is a week from now. Do I still look, feel the same way? Cause we've, we've, and it's kind of the same criticism I have with other stores that we've read. Like, you know, other stores were like, Holy fuck, that was really fun.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10569.273

That was like such a great concept, but they don't stick with me the same way that maybe like left, right game does like pen pal does. And this, you know, and I think that just all comes down to character. So I'm curious, is this something that I'm going to be thinking about in a week? How does it also just get filtered through? you know, my mind and stuff. So, but yeah, no, I mean, yeah.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10588.665

Awesome story. I mean like such a, such a fun one. It's, it's such a treat, uh, finding just, just interesting, compelling stories that are just kind of weird and fun and they do pan out in a great way. So just, I mean, this is one I hope that people enjoy too.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10673.754

Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, anytime that I, anytime, even if, you know, we are clowning on the stories or, you know, we legit, you know, just cause you have criticisms of things doesn't mean that you didn't have a good time with it. And every time that we find out that there is an author that has like a book, I always pick one up. I think that like, I think there's no better way to support, uh,

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10693.743

these people that are just uploading the shit for free than picking up something that is a physical, tangible book. And especially with Jared Roberts thing here, you're just going to get more stories. Like it's just, it's cool to have those physical things around. And I think like it, it makes the stories more enjoyable. It's more tactile. You get to hold the story in your hands.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10711.41

I think that's like a really important thing, but this was a fun one to read to over the internet. That was like another thing I wanted to say that this was like for a creepy pasta. I like whenever things implement, uh,

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

10721.033

the mediums like that you're reading it on so like if something is about going into like this website or whatever it's fun reading that on on the internet you know it's like it makes a little more immersive but no please do check out the physical books uh for jared be sure to support him there and guys uh be sure to give us a listen on spotify or apple podcast and rate us there we really appreciate it we hope you enjoyed this episode and we will see you in the next one

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1136.967

You had to hover over it exactly and click it. Then you'd be there.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1158.317

i'm so happy right now you know it has a fun uh i love these elements of introducing something of like well i say new technology but like just like idea of like internet-based horror stuff you know yeah um and how like the evolution of not only technology and time can make you forget about stuff it kind of reminds me of uh even like what is that one that we haven't read or anything it's like a

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1182.841

It's like Candle Cove. It's like a guy who grows up and he doesn't remember a creepy children's show. It's like the things from your past that you kind of repress to forget about. And in this way, too, that there's something very fascinating to me about the power of the Internet and anybody being able to find something.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1200.354

And then but only some people have ever figured out like a secret that's hiding in plain sight. That's what I think is always pretty fun.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

126.561

Maybe consider listening to it on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and giving us a rating there. It really does help us out. But without further ado, let's get into the hidden webpage. Also, I apologize. I feel like I'm in this state of, I feel like I'm off like a coke bender. I feel mentally not totally there.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1296.118

The whole has so much for us to discover. So many secrets. You can just keep going and going. It's like an endless puzzle. Everyone else stopped at the first layer. You remember that, right? I just knew there had to be something else in there. I knew no one would create and hide it for no reason. I kept going back to it, looking closely until I discovered how to go deeper.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1408.902

You know, it's a fun way to just... I just want to stop and say the... The way the story... Because... I like the pacing of what's going on. You get kind of suspicious. You find out what the fuck, and it drops a little breadcrumb for you. Email hasn't even been used in 11 years, right? Or 11, 18 years, 11 years, whatever.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1431.49

So it's one of those things where it's just, like, it hasn't fully revealed its hand, and I feel like it's trying to, like, lead you down different directions and kind of, like... I guess not, I guess deceive you in some way, but I feel like, I don't know if you feel the same.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1444.432

It feels like maybe she's trapped in the hole or like a version of like when I visited it, when they would visit it, something in the hole, like replicated it to where it could talk to people as its users or as, as it's like as copies of people that have entered its domain before, you know?

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1462.139

Something like that. I like this idea of just the pacing. It's nice. In a lot of cases, I feel like it would be

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

148.787

I'm coming down with a bit of the sickies, but I just want you all to know that I'm here and I'm going to get through this story. And so help me God, if it's not good, let me tell you, we recorded something yet. We weren't even supposed to be recording today. We recorded yesterday and it crashed out. Which, you know, I don't know if it's just me. I've been crashing out way more lately.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1502.099

Well, it feels like, you know, I mean, like, I don't know if it's going this direction, but in a way that I guess like evil spirits, demons in some tropes will use people's identities to lure people in or build trust with people could be the same way.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1516.73

of uh i guess the internet being able to copy traits text logs all that kind of stuff to communicate with people to try to draw it back in or build trust again in that way yeah yeah like it's um it's like a lure it's like an angler fish yeah yeah i should have just ignored her and went on with my life but i wanted to know what was going on

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1609.488

Yeah, no shit. Well, I think I'm coming to the center. Uh...

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

170.62

I need to get to the spot of being able to skirt that. All right. But to be fair, Isaiah kind of crashed out with me, too.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1755.738

I'm getting out of here. All right. Thank you all. How creepy would that be? Well, here's another thing. Do you feel like you could ever remember your voice from when you were a kid?

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1786.07

So they have cameras back then the haunting. Yeah. No, the, uh, This is how taunting it would be to be like, was that my voice? It's the same thing of this website he forgot about. The way I'm reading it to me is like, the website he forgot about, he's like, oh yeah, that was a thing. And then you hear your old voice.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1805.402

It's just like this reoccurrence from the past that's kind of fucking coming at you like a freight train.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

1872.768

Well, yeah, I just want to say the amount that my fucking mind just blossomed open. I love that little tag at the end is that I'm pretty sure it was my voice when I was a boy. It's just such a great way to make you be like, excuse me.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

191.309

Well, that becomes a big thing.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

193.57

That becomes a big thing that we're not... I mean, like, the objective of this show, first off... I want to say this, too, because I... You know, I do take a look at what our community says and does and stuff. And I think a big thing I want to, I guess, reiterate is that... We joke around about online stories written by people that put it out for free. Like, this is not, like...

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

2010.037

Dude, earlier when you were reading Globetrotter, I think I read... I think I read like Globetrotter or something like that. Or no, Globrotter. I was like, what? What is this? Globetrotter. I'm like, oh, right. It's me, the old Globrotter. I would say I read it as Globit. I read it as Globitrotter. Globitrotter. I was like, what the fuck is that?

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

2038.58

I'm like, oh, right.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

2059.995

He has to be German. In my mind, he's German. Yeah, he's really into Rammstein. Yeah, he's like, I listen to Rammstein and I smoke cigarettes all day. It's all I do all day is I talk about anarchy because I hate the government. That's all I usually say.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

216.937

Whenever we criticize things or we analyze things or we're making fun of stuff or whatever, I wouldn't really read too much into how horrible our criticism of it is.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

248.93

No. And I think we're both, I think we're both just very passionate about like, you know, storytelling, especially horror stories. So I think in a way we get really excited about ideas and whenever things don't pan out, I think that it just creates discussion. So that's a big thing is don't want to go out and be like, this is the worst thing ever. We don't want to see that from our fans either.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

281.654

Yeah, we want to post... Don't get me wrong.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

284.875

we i mean i especially have said things where that could be much much more cruel than probably i i could have intended for so i apologize for that but i just want to put it out there that you know i see a lot of people being like well i wish that they would just read a good one you know i keep that in the back of my mind a lot of the time of like it's good to have the silly ones it's good to have a good one i think that you need to realize too that we are not

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

307.89

Like, we're just trying to go into these as blind and just trying to see, like, what people have responded to over time. And it's just supposed to be something of, we are figuring this out together and reading these things together.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

3156.408

Yeah. The idea of building a relationship with like basically an online predator is crazy.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

3295.073

Angelica swore it was her, and her friend replied, Um, I know you're not Angelica, because Angelica's sitting right here with me. God, dude. God.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

3324.31

Yeah, you're going to find, like, a clone of yourself just standing in the doorway or something like that.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

3333.113

Yeah, your eyes are just a little too far apart. You're just like, what? Yeah. Just a little uncanny.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

334.37

And for some people... Can't really go on that, yeah. Storytelling...

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

338.693

which one are we can get into the deal i just i'm in this fucking hazy dreamy state but i just want to say like your taste is subjective there's people who there's people who could have interpreted uh i dare my best friend ruin my life into a way where they're like this is compelling or at one point in time it was super compelling and that's totally fine

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

3477.179

Yeah, I guess I'm never getting in a fucking car again.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

3554.214

I don't know you, but I told you all this for a reason. What you're digging into? Be careful.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

358.021

anything that we read that you like, that's fair. Or if we like something and you don't like it, that's fine too. This is just a place to come hang out, have a good time and listen to some guys goof about some horror stories, right? Nothing's perfect. Right. And, uh, Life is not that serious when it comes to this shit.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

3683.982

Yeah. I think it's going to be, I think it's going to be a network of old computers still kind of like

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

3778.666

You know, I'd probably fire Milky. I think that is when me and Milky would probably part ways, buddy.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

3804.608

You milk ridden bastard.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

3817.336

I mean, I think so. There needs to be... I'm still curious because I'm still wondering if how much of it is them venturing into the hole or like digging deeper into that and like kind of losing their shit that way.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

3918.475

Yeah, I don't want to know how he... It just needs to be some cursed thing that is just there. It simply is. Like the internet hooking it up. The internet already being an all-knowing interconnectivity between every... like, facet of Earth could probably, you know, find something or filter through.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

4041.997

I want to say that's part one, yeah, because we are, it feels like we're at the halfway line here. But I mean, I love this setup so far. So simple.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

4056.75

It is, you know, the way that it kicks off, like I said, it was very campfire story ask, and we've been getting introduced to other characters, but the way that it's flown, the way that it's flowed is just very much of like hitting on all of the highlights of

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

4072.828

of like what would make a, you know, you're trying to convey a story to your friends and you need to be somewhat vague, but then somewhat specific in the right moments. And that's what this is. Like, it doesn't really harp. It doesn't linger too long on certain things. We kind of keep hopping from situation to situation and being introduced to key characters. And it's just a lot of fun.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

4091.612

Like, this is just, I don't know. It's, I like everything about it, pretty much is what I want to say.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

4382.867

I just think I can't tell if it's like, if this is like now a copy of his mom or something, or if it's just like, I think it's when he was younger and on the internet, it was a copy of him.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

4410.399

I was saying... Do you remember that girl I used to chat with online in the 90s?

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

4463.861

How is he talking to the modem? Well, I don't know. That's what I'm wondering. We've never had the internet in our home.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

4483.341

Unless he was holding up to the phone modem, right? Or whatever.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

4489.404

Because it was all dialed up back then.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

4508.432

Yeah. Well, earlier, remember I said, too, it felt like Candle Cove in that way, too. I'm curious to see how it deviates from it.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

457.218

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I... when you catch me it's not even you it's a lot of different people let me tell you if I'm in if I'm getting ready to take a shower which I was getting ready to take a shower and I'm just sitting there texting somebody it's going to lead to me sending something All right.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

496.575

There's plenty of group cast ones.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

500.084

Yeah, my wife just sent me the other day. Allison just sent me one of I'm pregnant and you're standing behind me. No, you're not. Not on rule 34. True, true, true. Yeah, no, there's not. No, thank God. But I guess what I'm saying is there's at least that. There's angles of that. I mean, I'm pregnant.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

5175.103

Remember how sometimes you'd go in and there'd be these people there and they were really weird and they'd just watch you like you were a rat in a maze and sometimes they were in a costume? Anyone remember the dog? Sometimes there were no people and there was just this dog at the counter.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

5204.97

Bro. Do you guys remember that? No. I was touched by my uncle. I was touched by my uncle when I was watching the air bud when I was younger.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

5225.031

Yeah, yeah. Hey, buddy, I think your repressed trauma while watching your earbud is on you, man. I'm sorry.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

526.177

Well, you know, without further ado, maybe we'll have our own hidden webpage here pretty soon and see if Jared Roberts' experience, a little story here, makes us think of the hells that await for us. So I'm very excited to get into this and see if this is a fun time. I'm ready.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

5316.051

Someone posted... Sometimes when we were hanging out, we thought we were there just for an hour or so. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

5653.044

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

5787.534

Thank you. Thank you.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6279.319

I'm going to put this all in one message because I don't want us to have to talk again. Uncle Byrne was a good man. He used to be a rabbi. He raised me after my parents died in an accident and he was good with electronics and he thought computers were the future. That's why he called this company the new way.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6296.649

He bought up all the commercial space he could afford with his inheritance all over the country. It was more than he could handle. So he just rented it out. Life was good. He kept selling computers and his little shop and I helped when I got home from school and on the weekends and he kept bees and I helped that to really life was good until he married Connie in 1994.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6321.054

He met her during a visit to Europe. He said she would work in the same orphanage she'd been raised in and nobody knew much else about her. She was a strange woman. She didn't like me. She was into things that scared me and I saw her make a homeless man cry by staring at him. Jesus Christ, Connie. Animals would go quiet when she was around and sometimes she'd hide under my bed for hours.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6346.977

When I did, she'd slide out and grab me. I'd scream and scream. She'd walk away like nothing happened. She didn't laugh or say anything. It wasn't a prank or joke. It was something else. I didn't understand. I still don't. I started sleeping on a beanbag chair in the basement after that. She'd often go into a corner of the room and whisper to someone. There was nobody there. No phone or nothing.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6374.164

She'd even get mad at whoever it was. She'd go back to knitting. She was always knitting something, but the things she'd knit were useless. Gloves with three fingers and socks, but she'd seal up the ends so you couldn't wear them. I didn't hate her. I was just scared to death of her. I don't know why she made my Uncle Bernie so happy.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6396.837

I remember the day she started pressuring him to turn his rental spaces into internet cafes. She told him the internet was the real future and it would outlast computers. She'd say, we are the internet. She made him get it at home, even though it was really expensive then. She had him go to this website she said didn't really exist.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6413.704

I remember that because it always made me nervous when she talked about it. Uncle Byrne asked her who made it. She said she had no idea. Nobody did. She found it already made, just like everyone else. She told him it called to her. It called to everyone like her. At the time, I thought that sounded flaky. Now it just gives me the creeps. Uncle Byrne changed after that.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6436.17

He spent a lot of time on that website. I don't understand it. There was nothing there. I looked over their shoulders and it was all blank. They saw all sorts of things. When the internet cafe started opening, more people were involved. It was strange. They would sit and stare into space and strange things would happen.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6456.299

Like I could swear I heard a voice in my modem when I dial up and when I'd listen, it was saying, it hurts. I decided it was all in my head. Another time I got an email asking why wasn't I able to remember. I don't know why that message upset me so much, but 20 years ago, but I remember it so vividly.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6475.727

One night when I was alone with Uncle Burn for once, I told him I wish things would be like they used to be. He said that's what everyone wants, but it can't be. He leaned in close and whispered, it talks.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6489.093

tells us things he told me about how this is strange and i didn't understand it but i'll try how human beings are set to be obsolete and they need to upgrade for the new era he said y2k if you remember that wasn't going to affect computers like everyone thought they'd be fine it was going to change people either you evolved or you wouldn't like what's coming i didn't dare tell my uncle bern that this was crazy i couldn't hurt his feelings like that but i knew something bad was going to happen

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6517.697

He and Connie went off to open their internet cafes all over. Uncle Byrne kept in contact until 1999. Then he just disappeared. Connie too. I know some bad things happened around those internet cafes, but it's not Uncle Byrne's fault. Please don't blame him.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6563.884

I'm kind of reading it like a Milky thing, where it's like... I think that I don't think Connie was always like this. I think that just to exposure, whatever the thing was basically hypnotizing her. Like she was in some kind of trance.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6787.68

Then I started getting calls where all I can hear is a man growling like a dog on the other end. And I feel growly words like why and abracadabra. Those have really gotten to me, man. Because I started having fits. I don't know what I was doing during these fits. No, I upset a lady at the grocery store. Whatever you got me into, it's bad juju. Like KGB Illuminati bad.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

679.437

No, I have no idea. I always thought I was doing what I remember was Yahoo and Ask Jeeves.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

697.02

I just want to see a movie star's tits and an asshole and I want to see ghost sightings.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

6973.993

He traced the... I think he traced from where it came from and it was his old house.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7022.015

Like, you don't even think for, uh, you don't even think just out of curiosity or whatever. Like if something was plaguing, I mean, like, listen, I am fully on board with what you're saying.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7065.126

Do you not go back to the home and investigate that you haven't been to in a while? Maui, Peter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7076.854

Well, the thing is, the thing is, is that the tropical getaway works whenever it's just like, if it was like, my wife is doing this, I'd be like, cool, deal with it. And that's when you bail. But if it's you, now it's just like, it doesn't matter where I go. The hole is going to find you.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7101.371

You will see me eating croissant in Paris.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7112.479

I mean, don't get me wrong. I would do the same. Do you not feel, though, that the hole is going to find him anywhere? Absolutely.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

712.069

That's why I feel like men are primarily more able to see into the afterlife because they look for questions after post-nut clarity. It's like a level of transcendence.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7122.353

Sure. Oh, listen, I'm not going to be in the chair with the thing, but I'm just saying like, I feel like go back to the house where the house is.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7135.459

I would need to get some kind of backup or something. I need, I would need somebody to like, I would need probably some kind of emotional support with me.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7158.393

Everybody that's been with them has gone missing, et cetera.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7209.912

I mean, you are potentially sending men to their deaths. Let me ask you this, and this is an honest question. Could you Ferris Bueller the B people? How so? And by that, I mean you put a dummy that when you open the door, it like sits up and it looks like someone's at the desk. So they walk in, they see the dummy, and then you're in the closet with like a gun or something like that.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7239.06

Yeah. Or, you know, you just keep setting up a series of dummies throughout your life to where they keep her like, where the fuck is this guy? And you kind of turn on them.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7268.626

No, no, no. I let's not just, let's not discredit the Ferris Bueller trick. I think, I think, I think any spirit would be inclined.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

729.642

Yeah, do a little sticky keys and click out some stuff real quick and be like, there it is! That kind of thing.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7290.351

I don't think you would think the same thing, but Ferris Bueller's, uh, his parents didn't see it when he was sick.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7310.48

You know, if we're, if we're taking all the mysticism out of it, fine. Cause I like the idea that they're like, it's his hair, but

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7337.025

If you swatted them, would you be on a no-fly list? Could you even return home? No, no, no. I'm saying I leave. No, that's what I'm saying. You leave, you're in Japan, you swat your house like there's nothing here.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

763.483

This guy is fucking cool. We're also definitely setting this up to be, this is like late 90s. Yes. Is where I'm getting at for sure.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

7727.694

Yeah, no, it's all it's just like a bunch of like very fun reveals.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

790.323

I think it was before the bubble burst, the web bubble. I wouldn't say that it was mostly back then. It was pretty much just... like the instant chat, like the, um, uh, the not AT&T. It was fucking, um, the little yellow man. He was running.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

817.559

It was that kind of shit. What the fuck am I? I forget what that guy is. My brain is dissolving. What did you do last night? Why are you, it's like you're coming out of a bender. I really am, but I swear to God, I'm not. It was, uh, AOL. AOL. AOL, yep. Yeah, I would say primarily it was AOL.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

8240.753

I'm not going to lie. The thing under the bed, I sat there and I feel like I keep looking down underneath my desk because I'm like, hmm?

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

8288.783

Yeah, after I got away from the police station, I came home, sat down, tried to relax. Anything to rest my nerves. I got an email notification. So basically he went to the police station. I would be camping in the police station. I would, yeah, I would not leave anybody. I would not go home. Well, time to go home on the day they said I'd be at my desk. Yeah, exactly.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

8305.417

Or just even like time to be alone with myself. That's fine.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

838.83

Just because, I mean, like, if you think about back then, too, which is where I hope this story explores, too, is just kind of how unknown it all was. Like, AOL, being able to talk to somebody in chat was, like, so exciting. This was before cell phones and, like, texting and that kind of stuff, too.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

8528.919

Well, that's what I'm that's what I'm wondering is I don't know if it's been I don't know if we've I'm not sure that we've gotten to that yet. But my like I immediately was my gut reaction was like, oh, he's in the hole. He's officially in the hole now. He's been getting called the entire time. He's kind of going manic and stuff as well.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

8546.592

Maybe the same thing that happened to Uncle Bernie when he met Connie or what happened to Connie and how she was transformed. It feels like he's at that point of no return.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

866.981

It's slim, but not impossible. Let's say that. Also, this guy, like we said, he rules. He's into goth chicks with huge milky tits and fishnets, and he's looking up fucking spells online, and then he meets a girl named Angelica, literally an angel. All right. This guy's cool.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

9.318

Welcome back to Creepcast. How you all doing today? We are doing a little story by a fancy username. It's a story by Jared Roberts called The Hidden Webpage. Looks like an old classic.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

909.578

I love that you slipped in that he looks like you. You're like, he's the most attractive man I've ever seen. And then you slip in that.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

920.265

He looks just like me.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

935.516

Well, I like to keep you on your toes a little bit.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

9376.535

I need to get out before it's too late. He knows, he said, because he's me. So is he Holy Moses? Is that the... So he got the video.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

9390.747

Is he just a user that's been reaching out to people to try to warn people or whatever? And that's also the reason, too. People are like, oh, he's been here forever. But no one knows where he came from.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

9453.157

You would just truck your mother in the face. If that was happening, at what point do you need to realize this is not... This is not mom. Yeah. I mean, like, fucking destroy her jaw, dude.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

9643.157

It read, Pretty intense, huh? You could spend the rest of your life in there. Wait a minute. So this is a thing of, remember, it's like basically getting that, do you remember this thing that we're in? Basically, from the beginning when he was doing that, he basically got sucked into the hole. He was in the hole the entire time.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

9665.043

And the whole idea is that the person that was trying to get him out, the person that was trying to get him out is saying the birds and bees. Basically, the birds and stuff were, I'm guessing it's like dial-up modem type stuff of him like re-exiting this world, finding his way back out, whatever, and not getting lost in there like the other people.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

9688.562

We'll see. We're almost at the end. I think that we should just see.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

97.292

Good. Good. I love, you know what?

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

9786.931

And that is the end to the hidden webpage. What a, uh... Man, you know, it's weird. We come across these concepts and stuff a lot. Or go ahead.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

9805.819

But go ahead, continue where you were going. No, I think that the story is really good. I think, um...

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

9813.388

my my initial thoughts are this i think i think that i i really enjoyed the concept of this thing going around and having these kind of like very surrealist moments and stuff to me and i'm gonna just throw something at the wall and see what you think i was writing this down a little bit to me the story feels like it parallels with online predators using pictures or uh

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

9842.612

Using pictures or what the fuck did I write here? Are you in the hole, Hunter? Oh, it was parallels with online predators using girl pictures or boy pictures to lure in victims. The hole itself can even feel invasive and subtly sexual by nature of how it's written and how repressed trauma comes back to haunt you in a weird way is some of the themes that I was finding in the story.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

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I don't particularly care for that. I think it's just, but that's also, you know, I don't really like when stories are, but it was all a dream.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

9942.915

Well, that's why I don't think that this... I don't think that this... I don't like endings that are, this is a dream. And I don't think that this was a story that was, this is a dream. I think people could read it that way as like, well, none of it really happened. But like you're saying, it did. The way that I read the story was a guy...

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The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

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revisiting some kind of past traumatic thing that him and other people experienced at this time. And it's a thing of like having to justify and sift through all of the horrible shit that happened to you and then come to terms with it and then be able to come out of it alive versus how some people can dig into those things and they can never recover from it. It's kind of how I saw it.

CreepCast

The Hidden Webpage | CreepCast

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Yeah. I think, you know, and, and, This story had a lot of dream qualities because I think it's trying to really... It's trying to show this nightmare that he's in, whatever. It's like a surrealist nightmare and all that kind of stuff. But I think just the way of... Using some of these characters and some of these tropes, which, you know, I could be reaching. This is just how I'm reading it.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

100.377

We're starting off the Red Tower, but we're also doing a collection where we're going to be reading from his collection of short stories from the songs of the dead songs of a dead dreamer and grim scribe. which is a Penguin Publishing book of stories. So it's going to be a nice day of cozy short stories and getting to read some very, some classics, dare I say. Also, we got new merch! Look at this.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Be funny. Yeah. You're like, you're sure you're sure. Like, Oh, you're like, Oh my God. The next one's just like sucking sound. You're like, open it, open it, open it again.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Yeah, I mean, they're morph. I mean, he's also saying that the patterns are so complex that to me, I read that as like you will go insane.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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welcome back to creepcast today we are diving out of the internet and we're diving into literature i should say not that we don't read literature on this show we we do there's classics there's beautiful pieces of art but today we are actually going into i believe our very first non-creepypasta published book that we actually got approval to read and i'm super stoked

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I'm wearing the new Eat Me Like a Bug shirt, boys. Look at that. Got tiny wines. Got amazing, it's amazing shirt. Look at this. Ooh, clean. It feels amazing. Which one are you wearing, Isaiah?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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We have shorts! Beautiful gym shorts. We've got shorts. It's the spring. It's going to be into the summer where you've got to get your legs out. It's the guns of the legs. That's what they say. Guns of the legs. So you do that, and it pairs beautifully with our crew neck sweater. A Creepcast ghoul sweater. It's a nice little ghost. I have to say, dude, the fits together, diabolical. Unbelievable.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I'm just, I'm processing stuff too. I'm getting, I'm just getting hit by all these things. It's so far. I mean, I was going to kind of say this towards the end, but I was going to say, it just, just feels like such a,

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

1783.22

almost somebody articulating beautifully and they're like nightmare or their dream like a guy like almost like a guy who works at an amazon factory having a fucking nightmare about his work and it like manifesting and you know just like being like it was the most it was the most detailed dream i've ever had it it's just uh i don't know man it's fun this is it's just it's beautiful

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I mean, there's no getting around. It's just fucking beautiful.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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It's beautiful. They're very, very nice. I just want to also say that these shirts are... I don't know. Are they oversized this time? Put a thing up. Are they oversized? There was a lot of weird. We heard your feedback. People are being like, I didn't realize it was so big. All this kind of shit. This is the standard sizing. We're putting up a graphic here. This is the sizing.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Do with that what you will. That way you can't complain. Don't complain to me. Don't complain to me when you're like, hey, it's easy. You can complain to Hunter.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I feel like I just gave birth. I feel like I just came out of, like, what felt like a dream that was seven years long or something, where it felt like you lived every second of it. It's just...

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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so beautifully woven together there's so many different ways i feel like you can look at this i mean my my gut reaction of my college level you know giga chad brain thinking of me going to a liberal art school is me thinking that this is it almost feels like commentary on like a capitalistic kind of like uh just like i guess it's like a capitalistic run of like i don't know like just fucking mankind doing that kind of stuff even the way the deal like no one's ever seen the red tower no one ever will it's almost just like in a way god this sounds so cringy i'm sorry i

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

242.11

I don't know. All I know is go to this link right here or click the link in the description of the comments. You probably have some shit there. Click it if you want to get some merch. If not, I don't. You know, it is what it is. All right. Do you have enough? You might have enough shirts. I don't know. If you don't, there's some options. That's all I got to say. Boom. Also.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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it's just like, it feels like that idea of like wanting to get ahead. Like, you know, I'm like an American dream kind of thing.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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You know, you speak about it, you want it, you pursue it through even like the way that like the organisms and stuff, it all feels like little, just like cogs in the machine of people working at a place that is like churning out absolute fucking garbage for people that people are, you know, consuming. They are, uh,

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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interacting with it like in a way they don't even want you know but they're still buying it like it to me it feels like a fucking red tower to me feels like an amazon nightmare is what it sounds like it sounds like people getting trinkets and shit you don't need but you have it and being like forced into it even the idea of like we don't know how they do it like the tunnels like fucking prime delivery and all that kind of stuff it just feels like you know they even have stuff too where it's like they're delivered inside of them

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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It's just kind of, I don't know. It makes me think there's this place in Kansas City called the East Bottoms or West Bottoms. Yeah, one of those. One of those direction bottoms. But it used to be a place where that's where the industrial part of Kansas City used to be. And then it got this huge flood came and it fucked up the whole town. So they had to move the city up on this hill.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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And there's all these empty giant industrial buildings down in this area with just like broken out windows. And, you know, they're just like shells. And it kind of makes you think of like, I mean, this is back in like the 20s or something when this happened.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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So it's like it just it gave me that vibe of like being down there, you know, and I love the continuous nature of like something, a translucent, almost phallic thing coming out of the ground that would like would just existed in the gray until it like ornated itself with a reddish hue. And like, you know, it would be a thing that you'd be like, oh, fuck, it's standing out.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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But it's like it's almost like I want you to see how like. fucking evil and disgusting it is, you know, like this factory with no doors or any, it's just kind of, it's just so, uh, uncanny. I'm rambling, but yeah, I just have a lot to say, I guess.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Yes. Creepcast.store. Check it out. We got new stuff up now, dude. It's going to be beautiful. We already sent Thomas Ligoti his stuff. He swagged out. Also, just want to say for people who are listening on audio right now, we appreciate you. Be sure to give us a nice five-star rating or thumbs up, all that kind of stuff. It does help us out.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Well, that's the thing is like, I think, I mean, I really enjoy your...

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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your lens of how you see the story because i feel like i just kept getting hooked on the the actual idea of like the industrial nature of it and like the production and like what because my whole thing too and i'm glad that they don't ever like they never really tell you what the these things are who they're for because it doesn't really matter but to me i just kept thinking about like these nonsensical horrifying things and it's like the idea of like why would someone even want to make these and all that stuff and then like really the solidification of the uh

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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The nameless graves underneath are just fucking headstones painted. It's so... It's so cool. It's so cool. Yeah. It's just so haunting. It's just the idea of like these people work. It's just like another thing of like you work at this job and then when you die, you're just like, you're just another nameless like grave in this, like this operation, this horrible operation of stuff.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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And like the, uh, that life amounts to, uh, uh, head, like a headstone and you don't even get to have a name is just so, uh, just chilling, you know? And I love the, I loved all the dislike, man. I just, anytime that they went into the specific, I mean, because the entire time, like Ligoti here, he's just like, does not, you know, not to go Lovecraftian, but like,

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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really descriptive extremely descriptive of these like very like abstract ideas that he's throwing at you but then there's even some that are a little more simple like the music box that just is like people's like death rattles or i love the i love the time piece that has the lizard tongues and the insects like that's just such a i like the idea of

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Yeah, they're almost hidden. They're purposely hidden for someone to find, which also makes it seem like cursed relics or something. In a way, that does fit your biblical kind of analysis of the story of temptations hiding anywhere, little things. Especially the... the idea of them being like born in you or like delivered inside of you. It's a part of you.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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And if you're watching this on YouTube, consider checking us out on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. It helps us a lot. So check it out. We appreciate you. Thank you so much, guys. And let's get into some Red Tower, dude. Legote me up.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Very, uh, very, uh, religious heavy line there for sure. Yeah, I don't know. Just the entire time I was just thinking of greed, like this extreme production for the sake of production, production for the sake of like benefiting oneself. And in this case, we don't know who these people are. Like really, there's not even anybody running it.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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The tower itself is its own entity producing these things or whatever. And it just feels like it's like a reward based system to like the, the tower is being successful and how it does it. Even whenever it has that moment where the dust settles after the people have like basically destroyed it, it's still able to produce and keep going into subterranean levels. And it's just finding this way.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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It just felt like uncompromising greed is how I kept, it's just like the thing that kind of kept hitting me in the face. I was like, Oh my God. Like it was just suffocating, you know, and like just the idea of like, these like gears grinding and, you know, like all these, like these, like being down, I used to be in this.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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let's get like how do you how do you make that how do you make that a nice you know like because people say you know i'm creeping my cast all that stuff i creep my cat how would you do that with legody i'm licking my goatee Just immediately. I also hate how childlike that was.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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So in that West bottoms or East bottoms area, I used to have a art studio down there. And the, the, the building was in a old string factory, which is just weird to think that there was a string factory, but the thing is just so dusty even now. And it's been like renovated and stuff, but it was still, it still has like all the brick and mortar type stuff, you know? And, uh,

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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just so dusty and the idea of like giant machines and like just things meant to actually like mass produce things and all that stuff is just so loud the idea of like grinding old cast iron like metal and all that stuff being in here it really gives the red tower like it's weird because at first it feels so quiet but then there's times when i'm like when it talks about like

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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you know the the fucking organisms or like the great like all these things where it's like oh these people are working yeah you might not realize it but it's in full production it also just feels like unbearably loud like the screeching of metal and that stuff and that kind of juxtaposition between like this barren landscape where all you hear is like wind whistling versus inside being like fucking the clashing of metal the grating of steel all that stuff it's just so uh

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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it's, it's like nauseating to think about. It's like almost like it fucks with your equilibrium, even to think about it. So, which I, I just really, I just think it's so cool, man. Such a like delicate, delicately written story. So much imagination of just how, of how someone would just the amount of imagination to beautifully like weave these ideas together in this like extremely abstract way.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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It does feel... That's why it makes me feel like it's a fucking nightmare of a factory worker. That's what it makes me think of. Legitimately, I'm just like, it makes you think of one guy who's like, that's the hell they show up to every day. It's kind of the things too, like all the things that... uh, at least for me, it's just like you buy all this shit every day, all that stuff.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

3110.9

You never think about where it comes from or, you know, whatever else. And it's just that little, that fleeting thought of like out there, there's just people putting these things together. So I don't know.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

3223.743

yeah yeah i know what you mean uh fuck man that was good that was i really obviously i love that this is sick it's so sick and i think that like i'm i want to keep reading on to another one the uh so like i said we were taking from the book song of a dead dreamer and grim scribe and the next one here if you want to open it up to uh to masquerade of a dead sword a tragedy That's such a good title.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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When the world uncovers of dark disguise, embrace the darkness with adverted eyes. All right. Well, you ready for this one? Give us chapter one's title. How the fuck do you say that? Faliol.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Faliol's Rescue.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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What does that word?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Let's fucking reel it in for us. Having declared their town an enemy of quiescence? Quiescence? Quiescence.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Spread, smear, scrape. She smear my leg until I get my Odie.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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So after we've already besmirched this man's name, we should be, now we're primed to be won over by his beautiful story. Which, like I said, we'll get into it right now. The first story of today. Snuggle on up, dear listener or viewer. The first story is called The Red Tower.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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What the fuck did I do? Shut up, man. Nice glasses. Idiot.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I hate more than people saying sports ball. It is like the cringiest fucking thing. Anybody who's like, I don't know much about sports ball. It's just like, I can't comprehend that. Shut the fuck up with your stupid glass. I'm going to smack you in the face. I'm going to dust those teeth out of your mouth.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I'm like, you know what, dude? Fine. I'm like, next time, don't come out with all these fucking rainbow tattered... So what is he... So usually they're saying my boy, my boy Fiole. Fiole. Faleole. My boy Faleole. Usually he's just got red and black trim on. That's what it sounds like they're saying. Now he shows up haphazardly, has a bunch of random colors and shit.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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It sounds like it's just wrapped around him. It's not even like an outfit. It's just like a weird...

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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It's like very eccentric and weird. And he pulls out his tiny book and they're just like, what the fuck is up with you? Dude, your tiny book.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Let's beat that guy. Everyone is like piss drunk. Everyone's just pissed drunk and they're like, dude, I thought you were cool and you wanted a drink so you can get pussy with us, but apparently you're just wanting to read your gay book. He's like, okay, well, I just thought that I could have my... I thought that I could just sit here and enjoy my book.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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And they're just like, I'm going to beat you up, dude. I think our boy's getting done dirty is what I'm saying.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Like, yeah, the scream of a mute under torture. So it seems like he kind of got his wind knocked out of him, but he's screaming in pain. How would that go for you?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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What is it? I think it cut out. Oh, yeah. That's probably right.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I like to think he's like... I like to think he does... He's like... I think we're supposed to like Falio.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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My boy Faloli. My boy Faloli is not going to get David King pilled, dude. You said it.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Good Lord! He's fucking, he's like, he's shaking all of the other people. My boy Valiant might be taking out a little butterfly knife and just stabbing everybody around him. To be fair, they did. They punched him first.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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"'Now put them on, that you might see.'

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Please allow me to identify myself with the same Streledon. I assume my messenger spoke with you last evening, Lannes. How generous of you to come to Saldori to meet with me. Well, then here is my coach, so that we need not talk in all the confusion of Carnival Night.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I was informed you had arrived in Saldore not long before this very moment, and have been waiting for a discreet interval in which to approach you.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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How unfortunate that you were forced to reveal who you are back in the sty of a drinking house. But I suppose you couldn't allow yourself to undergo much more of that treatment merely for the sake of anonymity. No harm done, I'm sure. And I'm sure, Faleol replied in a monotone, that three very sad men would disagree with you.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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In any event, their kind will have their throats wrapped in the red cord sooner or later. The Duke is quite severe when it comes to lawlessness of others. Which brings me to what I require of you tonight. Presuming we need not bargain over the terms my messenger proposed to you and Lannes. Very well.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Well, I'm glad to know that your wits are still in order. However, however distracted you may seem, I have heard certain rumors you understand. In any event, tonight the sorcerer is attending the duke's masquerade at the palace. She will be with him. Help me steal her back. so that we may both escape from Saldori, and I will fill the empty part of that pouch. Dude, this guy sucks.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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This is the thing with this guy that we're seeing here. He's taking time from a boy, Falliol, here, right? It's just because he has bad dick game. He's like, she found some guy with better dick game and more money, and I'm pissed.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

4552.117

Yeah, she's like, that dick game is magic, daddy. She says to him. He's like, please, Falliol. Stop this evil sorcerer. He's a witch. He has magic powers. The guy's just like, yeah, I have a steady job. He's like a nepo baby. He's mad that his girl chose a guy, a nepo baby that has a better dick game.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

4578.56

He's like, no, I'm actually super awesome. And she's like, she doesn't realize how fucking lucky she is that I still want her because I'm such a catch. But please make her love me again.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

462.015

My decayed fascination got me chubbed up a little bit, I'll be honest.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

4638.593

That was so funny, dude. It's such a funny one. It's still beating. I love a guy just getting so upset about looking at an old person. He's just like, I have to fucking kill you.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

4653.05

They're dead and under my floorboards. Thank God. And he's just like, that son of a... He's still fucking making a ruckus. You know what, though? I'm getting into the vibe here of the nice Shakespearean little pussy tail, dude. That's what this is. A little incel tail. He's like, he has no idea what she really wants.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Anyways, back to incel Shakespearean Poe thing here.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I have a decayed fascination. I'm also picturing this like a, uh, my mind immediately went to a, uh, like, Oh, like fucking industrial revolution. Like those old, like, you know, like late 1800s, like fucking cloudy ass sky fog fog or smoke filled sky, you know, like no, no signs of life, basically dirt, like just dry, uh,

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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The other is more suited to allow your sword.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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So that's end of chapter one. I think this is a three-chapter story. So what I have here, which correct me if I'm wrong, this is about my boy Faliol and a guy who's coming up and being like, I hear you're basically an assassin. It's kind of how I see it, right? Mm-hmm. And I hear you do good work.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Yeah, so he's going out there. He's just like, hey, we're here to do the thing. I need you to kill this fucking sorcerer. He's cringe. His dead game's too good. He's got too much money. That way the girl will come back to me. Here's what I want to know from you. Do you think Faliol, does he have magical abilities? Because it kind of seems like it.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

48.459

I'm going to be the one to go up to people and be like, don't you want your book to be read on this show? Every story you've ever written $200. How's that sound? I need, I'm going to read your entire works for $7. Thank you. But the PR, the publicity, the exposure. The exposure, my friend. The exposure. Think of the exposure. They're going to be rich.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Not only his spectacles, but then also his outfit. And also that he is pulling out the Psalms book, which makes me think, because he was wearing them too, wasn't he? The spectacles? The spectacles, yes. He put it on the other guy, the big fat fuck, whatever. And that guy had basically gotten all stiffed up and he couldn't even move. He went catatonic.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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So I'm wondering why Faliol is able to wear them and still function and do his thing and he's become red-pilled or whatever.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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It's his eye failure. There's really not a... It's kind of deserved that the guy's ass kicked now. To go to a place where everyone's all drunk and having a good time, they're just like, you show up to the middle of the room, yawn, and then take out a book and start reading. Just like, fuck you, dude.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I'm in the Oprah book club, which is very exclusive. Oh, here, chapter two is the story of the spectacles.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I'm the one who was asking about it.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that it's a bear trap moment, but it kind of is. It's not.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

4962.33

Listen. Jealousy doesn't look good on you.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Not if I have become mad, but of what my madness consists is knowledge I seek from you. And please understand that I have no hopes, only a searing curiosity to riddle the corpse of my dead soul. As for the assertion that I have always been engaged in deeds which one might deem mad, I would be obliged to answer, yes. countless deeds, countless mad games of flesh and steel.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Having confessed that, I would also avow that these were sanctioned provocations of chaos, known in some form to the body of the world and even blessed by it. If the truth be spoken, but I have provoked another thing, a new madness which arrives from a world that is on the wrong side of light. A madness that is unsanctioned and without the seal of our natural selves. It is a forbidden madness.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5087.485

A saboteur from outside the body of known laws. As you know, I have been the subject of its devastation. Hey, first off, what the fuck are you even talking about, dude?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5108.346

He's saying he's, I understand. He's basically like, I found out what 4chan is. I'm like red pilled now. And I feel, you know, the darkness in me is growing.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Where he's just like, He's like, yes, and I go to many art boards and I feel like I've become a bit of a monster myself.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Since the madness began working its ruin upon me, I have become an adept of every horror which can be thought of, sensed, or dreamed. Without purpose, without constraint, and without end. I have crept through dense forest, not of trees, but of tall pikes planted in the earth. And upon each of them a crudely formed head has been fixed.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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These heads all wear faces which would forever blind the one who saw them anywhere but in a dream. and they follow my movements, not only with earthly eyes, but the shadows rolling in empty sockets. Sometimes they'd speak as I passed through their uncanny ranks, telling me things I cannot bear to hear.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Nor can I shut out their words, and I listen until I've learned the horrors of each brutal head, and the voices from their lacerated mouths so clear, so precise to my ears, that every word is a bright flash in my dreaming brain. A brilliant new coin minted for treasure house of hell.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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At the end of the mad dream, these heads endeavor to laugh, creating a blasphemous babble which echoes throughout the terrible forest. And when I awaken, the night continues to reverberate with fading laughter.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5254.133

Yet why should I speak of waking from these dreams? For to awaken, as I once understood this miracle, means to reclaim a world of laws which for a time were lost. To rise into the light of the world as one falls into the darkness of a dream. But for me, there is no sense of breaking through the envelope of sleep. It seems that I remain a captive of these dreams, these visions.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5278.334

For when one leaves off, another begins, like a succession of connected rooms which will never lead to freedom. And for all I can know, I am even now inhabitant of these worms. And at any moment, I beg forgiveness, wise man. You may transform into a demon and begin to disembowel weeping children. God damn, dude, what the fuck?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5298.707

You can transform into a demon and begin to disembowel weeping children before my eyes and smear their entrails upon the floor so that in them you may read my future. A future without escape in those heads and for what comes after. So it's kind of cool. Actually, what he's saying here, too, is he's saying like he's basically forever in a nightmare, even even when he's not asleep.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5319.176

I see them while I'm away. I mean, he's like he's like he basically is in these like mad visions where he like imagine having to perpetually forever be in a nightmare. He's like, regardless if I'm sleeping or not, it's the same. Like I'm in a constant hell.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5348.06

He's gently pushing the kid back under the chair. He has a giant pipe. He's just like... Dear God, my man, get yourself together. For fuck's sakes.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5364.481

For there is a citadel in which I am a prisoner, in which holds within a type of school, a school of torture. The mage is like, Good God. Ceremonial stranglers, their poems groove by the red cord, stalk the corridors of this place or lie snoring in its shadows, dreaming of perfect throats. Me too.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5389.395

And somewhere, the master carnifex, the supreme inquisitor, waits as I'm taken from cell and dragged across stone floors. until I am finally presented to the fiend with witless rolling eyes. Then my arms and my legs, everything is shackled, and I am screaming to die. Well, the torture of the question.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5421.519

And so, I have said numerous times, but there is no end. There is no hope. And this endless, hopeless torment incites me with a desire to turn its power on others. Now, what a dick. He's like, I kind of want to just do this to other people. And even to dream of turning it on all people. To see my world drown in oceans of agony is the only vision which now brings me any relief from my madness.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5453.058

From a madness which is not of this world. Though neither is it of any other world.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5473.627

But I have also had visions of butchering the angels.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5485.971

All right, hold on, hold on. That's a really good one. I like that voice. You have envisioned precisely what you've been made to envision and nothing that has risen from your own, your own true being. But how could you have known this? What is the nature of what you've seen?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5515.526

This anima mundi of the oldest philosophers and alchemists to deceive and to pose as the soul of another world and not as the soul of a world as we know. There's only one world and one soul of that world which appears in forms of beauty or bravery or methods according to how many anima mundi would turn you. What the fuck is an anima mundi?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5547.934

Your soul. And no ordinary devising may turn you away from what it wills. This is the power that had made you what you are now and would unmake you for its own design. It has played with you as it would a puppet. Then I will make myself its destruction. You cannot. I hate you so much. You cannot. Your very wish to destroy it is not yours, but that... Shit.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5590.795

Your very wish to destroy it is not yours, but that of the thing itself. You are not who you are. You are only what it would have... You are only what it would have... What? What? You are only what it would have you be. You speak as if you're... Look how serious I am. You speak as if... You speak as if it were a god of deceit and illusion. You speak as if it were a god of deceit and illusion, sir.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5627.114

There's no other true way to speak. But no further words now.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5652.312

He's like, I'm... A mage that sounds like that? Yeah, it's a mage who pretty much sounds like this.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5667.398

Well, I'm more of a... I've seen so many things that the world bores me. Right? Because that's where this is leading to, right? He's going to get this thing, and he's so tortured all the time that he has no emotion left. So anything, that's why he's... That's also why Filoli, why he fucking... He's all, you know, mutant, red-pilled now, and, you know, Giga Chad.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5721.064

And then pretty much, Filoli, he's like... Filolo, he's like... You know, the only thing that fucking stops this headache that I'm in is just wishing other people had to endure this too.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5742.775

It's like a never ending cycle.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5781.954

But heed my words. I know the visions you have known, for they are among the visions that all were born to know. There are eyes within our eyes, and when others open, all become confusion. The meaning of my long life consists of the endeavor to seize and settle these visions. until my natural eyes themselves have altered in accordance with my purpose.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5815.286

Now, for what reason I cannot say, anima mundi has revealed itself to you in its most essential aspect, that of chaos at feast. Having seen the face behind all its others, your life can never again be as you've known it. All the pleasures of the past are now defiled. All your hopes violated beyond hope. There are things which only madmen fear because only madmen may truly conceive of them.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5852.487

Your world is presently black with scars of madness. You must make it blacker still in order to find any solace. You have seen both too much and not enough. Though the shadow fog lenses of these spectacles, you will be blinded so that you may see with greater sight. Through their darkly clouded glass, anima mundi will diffuse it into nothing."

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5885.043

Through the darkly clouded glass, anima mundi will diffuse into nothingness before you. What would murder another man's mind will bring yours peace. Henceforth, all things will be in your eyes a distant play of shadows that will fretfully strive to engage you. Ghosts that clamber to pass themselves as actualities. Masks that desperately flit about to conceal the stillness of the void behind them.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5921.097

Henceforth, I say, all things will be reduced in your eyes to their unconsequential essence. All that once shined for you, the steel, the stars, the eyes of another, will lose its luster and take its place among the other shadows. All will be dulled in the power of your vision, which will give you the ability to see the greatest power. The only power is to care for nothing.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5956.6

Please know that this is the only means by which I may help you. You have been made ready to receive the salvation by your very torment. Though we cannot overthrow the hold that anima mundi has on the others of this earth.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

5975.945

still try as we can for as long as the soul of the world has its way we will grieve all in whom we will grieve all in whom it lives but it will not live in you on the condition you obey one simple rule you must never be without these spectacles or your furies will return to you there now you may open your eyes

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

6018.418

Yeah, you got to watch out for Animamundi.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

6039.29

So we would just say Thomas was thrilled with the reading, and he found it particularly interesting how he read Anna Mamundi like that so many times, and that's all he's been saying. It's actually driven him mad. He's perpetually in a state of shock.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

6083.047

Well, that's the thing. It's giving him a visual representation to be able to...

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

6088.107

see horrible shit because that's the only thing that gives him any peace so he's able to exist in the world even though he's still seeing horrible shit it's like numbing his senses so that's also why whenever he put the the spectacles on the big fat fuck earlier that's why the guy was like oh oh because he sees horrible he says he sees how horrible it is oh well he all sat very still for some time a knees of heart with him and as he gazed through the spectacles

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

6153.626

End of chapter two. We go into chapter three. Oh! Chapter three. Labeled. Very respectively.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

6184.706

I like the vibe, though. I like the time jump thing and getting a fun backstory. We get to see what Filoli has been up to. And the idea, too, of a mage making spectacles that basically shows you hell. And it's like fighting fire with fire. It's a fun fantasy. I mean, we're getting into some fantasy shit now.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

6224.362

It started in very Shakespearean Poe territory, but even this, this last bit, at least just, I mean, obviously it's a mage, but I was just being like, just the idea of getting a, Like an artifact to wear. I don't know. It has a very adventurous feel to it, you know?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

6528.955

Approach and take her hand, you'll be sure. But say nothing until you've led yourselves back through these rooms and to freedom. But the king might well be the sorcerer in disguise. He could have us both executed. Do as I tell you. Though I cannot tell you all. You will see me greet the king and caper about his jester. Believe me when I say that he is no sorcerer.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

6553.609

Only one that does what he can in the world against powers that he can never be. That can never be undone. He has been working on your cause even before you knew its troubles. Trust me that all will be well.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

6606.986

I shall watch the duke's men around us. Who may have been watching you, wise man? And I shall see that our two little babes find their way through the forest.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

6847.023

Look again, for... For the old...

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

6943.265

I have what you're looking for. They're with me now. Right here in my hand. Not lost forever.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7008.231

Where is the mage? The mage is no more. Then tell me who you are before I send you to hell. You know who I am. But say I'm a sorcerer, if that is well with you. And you killed the mage as you did the others? The others? How could you have not heard the rattling... How could you have not heard that rattling pantomime? All the swords and swift feet?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7032.38

Did you not hear these... Did you not hear that there was a pair of Leviathan leeches? Or something in that way? Menacing the guest? True. I had a hand in the illusion. My hand contained no gouging blade. A shambles you saw with your own eyes. In their fates you say your own future. Even a sorcerer may be killed. Agreed. Though I think not by your hand. Who are you to have destroyed the mage?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7062.798

In fact, he destroyed himself. A heroic act, I'm sure. And he did it before my own eyes. As if in spite... As for myself, I confess that I am disappointed to be so far beneath your recognition. We have met previously. Please remember. But it was many years past, and I suppose you became forgetful as well as dim-sighted once you put those glasses over your eyes.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7089.583

You see, while the mage had to be stopped, he ruined you as a madman. As my madman. But you might recall that you've had another career before the madness took over you, did you not? Do you not remember how you were made as such? Do you not wish to remember that you were Faleo the Dandy before we met on the road that day?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7120.208

It was I, in my role as a charm seller, who outfitted you with the onyx-eyed amulet which you once wore around your neck. It was the bobble which made you the skillful mercenary you once were, and that you loved to be. and how everyone else loved you that way, to see a weakling become a man of strength and of steel as the stuff of public comment, of legend, and of diversion in general.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7150.983

And how much more do they love to witness the reverse of this process, to see the mighty laid low, the lord of the sword made mad. This was the little drama I had planned. He was supposed to be my madman, Veliel. Not the imperturbable fool of that magician. He was supposed to be a real lost soul of torments in red and black. Not a pathetic monk chanting in silent psalms in pale breaths.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7177.93

Do you not understand? It was Wing who ruined you, who undid all my schemes for tragic and colorful history. Because of him, I was forced to change my plans, which are many and touched the lives of all. Yes, it was your mage who had wrestled his soul from me and believed he could do the same to you. Blame him for the slaughter of those innocents, and for what you are about to suffer.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7203.457

You may know my ways. We are not strangers. No demon or horror. We are not. You are indeed the foul thing the wise man described to me. All the dark powers which we cannot understand, but only hate. Poor Valiel, how wrong you are to contend that the one who stands before you is hated. What of the few enemies I may have? Do you hear those rhapsodic voices in the streets below?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7241.54

They are not filled with hate. Even when I excruciate them, they make excuses for me. They could not possibly hold a greater love for what gives them all they have, however little it may sometimes come to. But I would never go so far that they would turn against their own perpetuity.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7257.275

Only as they live do I live on, in the exceptional destinies of heroes and magicians, of kings and queens, saints and martyrs. They have special roles to perform in my scheme. From the highest to the lowest, they are my children. And through their eyes, I see my own glory. You see but your own foulness. No. The foulness is yours alone to lay eyes on, my dear Felial.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7283.749

For those enamored of their continuance, no foulest exist. You have worn these spectacles too long, and to my disappointment, still see too much. You have seen me as others have not. If that pleases you, And for that, you must come to an end. This is a privileged doom for those such as yourself. A type of consolation. You have said enough. To be sure, my time is precious.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7324.002

And yet I have not said what I came here to say, or rather to ask. You know the question. Do not deny it, Falio. The one you dreamed in those mad dreams I sent you. The torture of question you dreaded to hear asked, and the dreaded more to have answered. What is the face of the soul of the world? No, it's not a face. It's only... Yes, there is a face, Falio. And you will see it.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Said the masked figure as it peeled away its mask. But why have you hidden your eyes that way, Falio? And why have you fallen to your knees? Do you not appreciate the vision I have shown you? Could you have ever imagined that your existence would lead you into the presence of such a sight? Your spectacles cannot save you now. There are only so much glint and glask.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7372.911

Hark to my grinding them underfoot upon the cool marble of the floor. No more spectacles, Falion. And I think, too, no more Falion. Can you understand what I'm telling you now, Jester? Well? What have you say? Nothing? How black your madness must be to make you so rude. How black. But see, even if you will not.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

74.497

Thomas Ligoti, I have been recommended his stories by so many different people. That's why I'm really excited. I have buddies who are storyboard artists. I have people who are writers. I have people who are musicians. I've had so many people... Recommend Thomas Ligoti. And today we're going to be starting off with one of his very prominent short story, horror short story writer.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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How I have provided these escorts to show you the way back to the carnival, which is where a buffoon belongs. And be sure that you make my legions of admirers laugh, or I will punish you. Yes, I can still punish you, Falion. A living man can always be punished, so remember to be good. I will be watching, and I am always watching. Farewell, then, fool.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7579.113

But then Faleo was able to, he kind of, you know, it says his victorious corpse. I think he was able to escape the visions by dying.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7595.987

Yeah, it's good. I'm stupid. I can't read well. You're not stupid. Let alone... But here's the thing, too. I do prefer the... I think I prefer the Red Tower over this one, just because... I mean, I guess I don't mind the Shakespearean kind of... it's very, it's very Shakespeare. It's just, it's, I don't really know if I just fuck with the vibe as much, you know, like I love cast for Montalato.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Uh, and I like that, but this idea of, uh, I mean, I don't know. I guess I did like, I had to, it's, it's weird. It feels like with his work, it's very, uh, there's a lot to digest. There's a lot to mull over on. I feel like that these would be fun. Like rereads, you know, it's just like a short stories, like come back to them. How do they, how do they rear its head on different occasions? Um,

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7644.241

Because it's so beautifully written, and it's done in this way that's very fun. I mean, even an idea about, like, a story. Like, on paper, it sounds fucking kind of lame. Of, like, yeah, a guy sees visions of hell, so he gets sunglasses made by a mage to help make it. But it turns out really cool. I mean, like, it's done in a way that's really fun. And just the idea.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7665.655

I always like those kind of angles in stories where... someone is just like perpetually in a nightmare. Someone's like just kind of perpetually seeing hell and there's no way to get around it. So it's even like, it's infiltrating the real physical world too. It's cool.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

7986.553

I love how this is being set up as a horror story of just having to go to your family's house for Christmas. It's like going to your grandma's house for Christmas. It's like, I don't know. It's like, it's that thing of not that you don't want to do it, but it's just this, uh, I don't know. Entering your grandma's home is just such a weird vibe. I think this is your aunt's house.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

8005.792

It's just like decorated. Like it's almost like horror decorations, but it's just like this, like uncanny, uh, you know, like sock puppet Santas on weird. It's just like it's setting up this very chilly, weird environment. I don't know. I'm always creeped out by... I think Christmas decorations can be kind of creepy, honestly.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

8033.145

None of that. It's more so just like... I don't know, like Santa visuals and stuff, especially like older ones, just kind of uncanny, weird, like just like a bunch of smiling.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I'm not going to say that it's like, oh my God, I'm scared. I'm just saying there's a level of uncanniness to excessive Christmas decorations that give off a kind of just a creepy vibe. Yeah, I feel you. I see where you're coming from with that. Definitely not, you know, the bright, like the bright colors and stuff.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

8063.795

I guess it's just more so the unnatural, just kind of like ever cheery vibe of it can be kind of unsettling.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Yeah, nothing ever changes. It's just like people get older, but it's the same thing. Also, too, I think elderly people just smell. And it's like a fucking... When you step into a... Well, there you go. I knew you were going to make it a redeemable. Well, when you step into your grandma's house, I mean, you might not feel the same, but it's like...

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

8101.894

Going to your grandparents' house, it just has this distinct smell. It's like old. So you go in there.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

8120.489

Yeah, and that will always be... a thing in your head that you associate now with that moment in time.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

8125.853

And to that itself, it's like even just kind of uncanny and odd, you know, it's, it can be warm and welcoming at times, but there's also just like a thing of like, it's kind of like, uh, my, when my grandfather passed away, it's like when I go into my grandma's house, I feel like I can still, there's like that smell that reminds me of them.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

8141.665

So in a weird way, it's like, you just, you have a sense that the person's still there, you know? And there's just, there's something odd about that.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

823.915

No, I just said, what the fuck? That's just such a weird thing. A disembodied hand. It's like every time you clip it, it just like keeps growing its nails.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

8311.026

Who cares if you didn't hear old Jack singing? You old bat.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

833.445

It's almost like I'm thinking of like a... almost like a Ram's horn or something. You know what I mean? Like curling and all that kind of stuff. But imagine like actually seeing a thumb, like actually imagine seeing like a thumbnail, like push out. Like I almost see it like not the nail isn't growing from the tip.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

8384.371

Too old for that, thank you.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

849.345

It's like, just like pushing out from underneath the skin of the thumb, like your finger, you know? So it's just like, Yeah. Impossibly just kind of like oozing out of the, out of the thumb or I say thumb, just cause I'm looking at my thumb. I just mean their fingers. I just, it's just kind of a, it's kind of a gross insight. It's so weird too. It's like, sorry to interrupt.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

867.239

I was just gonna say it's, it's such a weird, uh, kind of gross to think about kind of like yucky, uh, visual that were being delivered here when everything else has been so like kind of elegant with like, even like lockets and you know, it's like this, this impossibly black, you're almost looking to space whenever you open up these lockets.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

8711.812

I can't imagine how you would know this part of the true story.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

886.549

So it's just, it just kind of threw me off guard a bit when I first read that. It,

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

8863.458

I just want to say that is fucked.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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That faint cackling of the, or cracking of the fire going on and.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9218.217

I'll give you, I'll bargain you a rat trap, but not a bear trap. I'll give you a rat trap. I'm not going to upgrade it from rat to beaver.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9233.805

Do you understand how ironclad my bear traps are?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9239.967

Here's the thing. You know what's crazy? I feel like this has been three different kinds of writing.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9266.309

It felt very poetic.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9269.712

Then the second story that is literally a Greek tragedy. And then this one here is like a contemporary, just like campfire horror story. You know, I mean, it's, and what I love too is I was kind of, I was like, eh, you know, are we going to read the Christmas one? It was insane how like cozy. And I love that. Just the dark turn of an idea of like an elder telling a story. And then it's like,

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9293.209

slowly just revealing itself more and more to be this completely fuck story that she's just like trying to traumatize these kids with. And then now it kind of seems that in a way she basically has him or has these like memories. It's like, it almost seems like the memories of it are forever trapped inside this perpetual Christmas Eve day.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9361.332

Do you think the crying blobs that are outside, do you think those are like just people outside of the veil that are crying over the loss to the loved one, you think?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9412.508

Do you think the idea of the story that she was telling to was that old Jack and young Jack?

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9442.745

Yeah. Cause I like, uh, there's a bunch of little subtle Easter eggs and hints to like, I like at the beginning when he's like, yeah, I'm drinking, knowing that this is going to be the last time I fucking do this shit. He's like, he's all pissed off. You know, he's like a younger guy, 21. He's just wanting to, he's like kind of getting drunk. And he's like, well, God, I'm bored.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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I fucking hate coming to these things.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9509.409

Just the idea of the super foggy purgatory feel of like you're in this dreamlike area. Basically, you can't see the things around you. You're in a physical space, but you can't see beyond that veil. But then also how Christmas lights would bounce off the cloud of the fog, you know, I think is just such a fun visual experience.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9530.231

And two, it's just like we were saying earlier, that idea that it's like everyone looks forward to Christmas. It's like a holiday. It's like a day off or like it's a way to it's also a way to rejoin your family, which is kind of an interesting way to use this as like a family member welcoming you into the afterlife.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9544.858

It's like, of course, it would be like a holiday party where that's like the one time a year when you go and visit your family.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9566.58

It is, and I like the little blurb at the end. After she says, Merry Christmas, old Jack, and she kind of goes into her... It's basically from her voice now. Just the... It's very... It's just very chilling and haunting. Just such a weird, cold way to end that story. Just super odd. It's like she's an entity.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9587.421

Even her just saying those weeping demons, souls forever lost, came out of the fog and took away his body. It's just... Yeah. Just kind of fucking chilling. This was a great...

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9602.668

venture outside of our normal creepypasta r slash no sleep stuff that is usually a bit more um you know campy internet focused more you know more contemporary storytelling like having something that feels these all were just for like different sections of uh just different styles of writing that i just you know i mean here's the thing too i don't read a lot too because you know so there could be authors who do this shit also but i wonder how normal it is for people to have this kind of

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9631.274

I don't know, fucking lexicon of work in that way.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9648.238

Even on Amazon or wherever you want to go, like Barnes and Noble and stuff. I'm telling you that Thomas Legati, the songs of a dead dreamer and grim scribe. It's not a thick book. What I like about these authors that do short stories is it's just so easy to pick it up and just be like, I just want to read a little something or just get totally lost in it.

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

9677.749

I think a lot of his work is up on...

CreepCast

The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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Yeah, I want to just dive more into it for sure, even if it's just on myself personally. But also, guys, like we said at the beginning of the episode, new merch is out now. Please click the link in the description or down below and get yourself some new clothing so you can cover that gross body of yours.

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The Red Tower | Creep Cast

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And for everybody who was listening on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, we appreciate you. Consider supporting us on those in the future as well, guys. And we will see you all in the next one.

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Like, Oh dude, totally. But you know, it's great. It's kind of cool to think about. It's like every time you do it though, it's a different part. Like almost like it's exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

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Also, the way that he's kind of disassociating him, like, at the end he says, Ben was just meat. I think that he's doing that just from the act, but I think that there's still obviously an emotional tie-in with... their relationship, you know?

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Now I get to finally say my true piece. What if Ben's in the bag right now flopping it around? What if Ben's sitting there and he's saying, it's so floppy in the bag. And our hero here has to look out the cockpit window and see what he thought was his rigor mortis friend flopping it around in a bag in the vacuums of space. Would you go out?

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I also just want to say the guy seems like a complete sweetheart. His bio on his Reddit... is pretty much him just basically being like, yeah, feel free to narrate my stuff. Just be sure to get permission. And, you know, if you want writing advice or writing help, just hit me up. He seems like a complete and total sweetheart. So I'm excited.

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Would you go out and would you help this man or is it his own fault? Would he just be flopping it forever by himself?

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Yeah. He's really good about making you give a fuck about him, you know? They immediately have personalities that you can, like, attach yourself to. And a lot of times the stories that we do, everything's so vague, you know? And it's nice to have a change of pace where there's actual, I don't know, relationships building. You kind of get an idea even who this... Who our storyteller is here.

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gave us a mission kind of like obviously gave a fuck about this guy that was next to him even if maybe he didn't reciprocate it as much you know yeah there's like a real feel to the the people involved right can i tell you a secret i'm in desperate need of medical attention and care i'm so old fat i'm falling apart at the seams but i don't know what doctor to use i don't know anything about doctors

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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And also I'm excited to read this one too, because we do not dive into cosmic horror enough. Not enough.

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I agree, especially with stuff that's like I'm obviously guessing that this is centered in space. So, you know, we've had we've had stuff that's like landed on Earth or, you know, cosmic things that have come down to Earth. But to have it actually be about a spaceman is pretty is a lot of fun.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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love that that's great that's so cool little little cosmic boy is writing a like writing a cosmic horror like well you know what makes you think of is that potentially the comet he saw interlinked with that somehow like almost as soon as he saw that he started getting signs or visions or something yep that's what my mind went to as well that when he was a kid he found something saw something in the stars that like started to speak to him that's why now he's in this place

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I love those setups. I love the setup of a passing object or a fleeting moment leads to a lifetime of visions or seeing something. I love that setup.

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Yeah, enlightened in some kind of way. It's always kind of fun, like a lot of fun flavor with that.

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Do you think it's supposed to be like coordinates or something? It almost seems like it's like, it's a part of this plan, this divine plan that he's writing.

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That's what I'm saying is like, he's, he's had like this orchestrated basically like a journal of like what's supposed to happen, you know, like star dating shit and everything and astrological plan almost.

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I think a lot of his work here is a lot of the short stories here are published.

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All of that, which the creepy thing here obviously leads to me is that he knew instead of being in the comfort of his bed at home, he knew that he was supposed to be on a space shuttle heading towards Mars.

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Terrifying to space station shit always scares me because just because one, you cannot go anywhere. You can't even go outside to take a fucking breather. You know, you're just stuck with your thoughts. And I love the idea that like, like astronauts and space men and women, whatever would go mad is so believable that you would just go fucking crazy. You're like, I have no other option.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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So the spacewalk is incredibly dangerous.

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Microphones in station hall are reporting nothing of concern. Usual impact from debris. Nothing that corroborates reports of external tapping. Permission for spacewalk is denied.

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Arctic expeditions. Arctic expeditions. How fun. Just for like a, like I set up for a horror thing. Also who actually is, who would want to do that in their real life? Why? Why do that now?

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Yeah, I love the idea of a guy kind of slipping into insanity and thinking that this dead person outside is like banging to come back inside.

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I love that imagery. I love that imagery of him feeling trapped inside of the same bag he put Ben in. But this time it's like a thinner film and it's just like this disgustingly cold freezing. I just love that. The same way the body's left, right? Freezing out there.

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And it's a thin paper material, he said, which I'm guessing it's like that weird... I'm guessing it's like that space material. It looks like aluminum foil is what I pictured, right? Yeah, it's a space blanket. Yeah, but then when he says, I was trapped in a suffocating film, it makes me think almost of fire in the sky whenever he gets abducted by the alien and it's stretched over.

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Oh, also, I want to start this off, too, by saying just to get a general consensus of what people think about. I sent Isaiah this message. No, please. You don't have to do that. I sent Isaiah this message and he said, hey, are you good to record now? Or when are you good to record? And I said, I'm golden right meow, which I thought was really cute because instead of now, I put meow.

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How much of this do you think is in his head? Do you think that the tap, tap, tap is real, or do you think that it's kind of like... So I had that thought.

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I mean, the beats of the story are so reminiscent of The Raven, right? you know, you have never, you have the tapping on the chamber door kind of, uh, thing like the, the, the Raven being that thing, but now it's never Raven. It's this body floating out in space.

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Yeah. Yeah, I think so, too. I don't I'm not fully bought in that Ben is alive and tapping. I think that it's we're kind of getting into a space of this man is going to drive himself crazy. But the prophecy is still true. Like the supernatural element of this guy dying at a certain time. Immolation is immolation brought on by himself.

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And now he's been giving me shit because I sent him a voice memo kind of explaining that joke. And I just said, do you want to play it over your phone, Isaiah? Instead of right now, I put right meow like a cat. Meow.

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Then again, maybe Ben's flopping it. Space Station never said that was our question, right? What if Ben's in there right now flopping around? He likes it when the narrator touches him. Flop, flop, flop. Could easily translate to tap, tap, tap. How do we know that Ben's not in there right now? A mass of bone and gunk.

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Would there be a better place to flop it? You tell me. I'm still fully believing that Ben is flopping it around right now. Grabbing it at the base. Flopping the top. A well-endowed man, taken too soon. Prophecy knew that it would happen.

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I'm a good little pussy. I thought that... I just thought that that was a fine. I don't know. I just I guess, you know, when you send your friend something, it's met with such an abrasive reaction. I just thought it was, you know, I don't know. You know, I guess. Am I the bad guy for sending that message? I guess is what I want to know out of our audience here.

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It reminds me of those drugs. You see it a lot in... you see it a lot in like voodoo stuff, whatever, where it's like people get buried and they're, they're on a drug and then they are clawing at the doors. They unseal it. And the guys like the people's nails are like ripped up because they've been clawing at the coffin door. It reminds me of that.

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And like, just this insane way of thinking that a guy out in space is like, you know, suffocating and he had like blood exploding out of his face.

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Be like, Hey, uh, we're seeing something weird. You probably shouldn't go back inside yet. It's like, what the fuck does that mean?

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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But without further ado, I'm ready to dive in and hear about this spooky astronaut.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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Icicle blood like Ben crawling around on the fucking side of the craft.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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It almost even has little remnants of that Twilight Zone episode. The one where it's like there's something on the plane. There's something on the wing of the plane.

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Yeah, instead of a weird furry goblin, it's an actual fucking disturbed, disgusting person.

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True. See, now you're being a cute little kitty. Now you're being a good little kitty by saying that because also be sure to check us out on Spotify. Give us a rating there. Helps us out. Also check us out on Apple Podcast. Check us out there, audio listeners. You know what?

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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Wait! The only other astronaut on this mission died six weeks ago, but the computer insists their life signs are still stable. Got it! First try. And this is an author we've read before.

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If this is your first time listening to us or if you've listened to us before, maybe take this one solo and go listen to it in the audio in your car right on Spotify and rank us there because it helps us. Thank you guys so much. All right, my cute little whiskers, go ahead and start us off.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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And I'm guessing, I'm assuming trying to talk to him as well, right? The taps.

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It's like, it's the Morse. It's the binary.

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Now he's going to have to jump from his space station through space untethered and get like, like the impossibility of that is so sick, but God damn, do I want to see that in like a movie or something? How cool would that be? Dude? It's like a vent horizon shit.

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A story can't start with when Ben died without us thinking of when Ben drowned.

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You spun right towards us. We were already suited up and on our way. Timed up well. That suit was riddled with holes. Any later and we wouldn't have been around to catch you and get you into safety.

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emulation oh my gosh wow that is so fun that is the end of the only other astronaut on this mission died six weeks ago but the computer insists those their life signs are still stable that was fucking christian wallace good for you man that was yeah that guy we have read two of his stories and they have both bang yeah first one is giant baby And then the second one is insane.

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First off, I just want to say, I love the visual of the monster of like Ben contorted reanimated, but then also like red, like his blood crystals being red and like shining exploded, but then froze right after the explosion. Do you think that he was, so do you think he died when he got reanimated?

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He was like clawing at himself in a state, like how much of the, he was, do you think it's, do you think it was like,

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The part of him getting tackled and spinning. I mean, my God.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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It's haunting. Yeah. It's haunting and eerie how similar that sounds to the conversation my mom had before she left my father. Go ahead.

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I don't know if this story was for this. Cause like you said, the Reddit, it has like the awards it gives. It just puts them all the stories. But I will say that was one of the most immersive stories we've read by far.

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Oh my gosh. So fun. It was one of those stories too. You know, we read a lot of stories that are like, God, I mean, like four to seven hours long, you know? This is one of those stories that I would have loved to build more of that relationship up with, explore the journal more. But the way it's written now, what an awesome punch to the gut story. Just boom, you're done.

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Yeah, I mean, it crystallized into melting, and some bits of it, whatever, will survive and land into the Earth. You know what I mean? It's almost a doomsday prediction.

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Translating a childlike wonder as well. Translating a childlike wonder of... It felt like it was... I saw the comment, and it felt like it was a calling, like I was supposed to do this, when really it was a calling, and it was somebody manipulating a child and manipulating a person into going into this field, giving him these things. I wonder, too, how much... Because here's the thing.

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The date, the number's written, and then it just says aneurysm. I wonder how much of it he knew that it was going to happen to him, or the emulation, or if it was just like...

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flashes or signs that he's like a dream maybe he didn't even understand what he was writing yeah right because at that point too i feel like just from the character and from like you know he was he was psychologically sane to go through things and to be paired up with somebody to where you would just think that it's a guy who's like yeah i mean i'm destined to do this like you and and to have him hide his journal also would make me think that he's like yeah i've

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I feel like I'm cosmically attached to things. That'd be a hard thing to sell, um, to just random people, you know? So awesome story.

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Awesome. Coming in. That hit the spot. Yeah. That was just such a, such a great one. I unbelievable. Really, really enjoyed that one. We're going to keep reading his stuff because love that. Love that. Wish there was, you know, and selfishly and the best thing you could have for people is I wish there was more. That's the best kind of reaction you get from a story.

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And that's what I feel wholeheartedly right now.

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And I have to ask the viewers as well. Were you immersed as well? I'm curious. Sometimes whenever we read these things, we have such a visceral reaction. It's always funny to see people who are just like, I hated that. I hated it. Always curious. But usually the people that say that don't ever give a reason why.

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So I'm curious if you don't, if I, I just, I'm going to be curious to see if you don't want, if you don't like this, why? Yeah, exactly. At least put a fucking ambulance of thought into your response. So, But no, that is our episode for this week. It was an incredible one. And thank you guys so much once again for listening on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and of course, all of our YouTube fans.

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We appreciate you out there as well. Be sure to share the episodes if you like them. Try to get some of your friends into the show. And like, as always, give us a nice rating on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It really does help. But until next time, my friends, if you find your friend dead on the floor in a spaceship. Maybe don't go out and check on them.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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Maybe keep them in this giant Ziploc bag because they might be alive and fucking trying to kill you. Stay creeped.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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I'm stuck here. Give me some sugar now.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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Well, you would have said a lot of, there'd be a pen of kittens very sad right now. I'd be free. I could be out of here. It would be over. You know what?

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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I am. I cannot read. I'm dumb. I am a fucking moron. Okay. That's why do you think I only do the voices? Okay. If I had to read this, can you imagine if I had to read the whole thing? It would not work. Would not work.

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I don't know if I agree with that last line, by the way.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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Come on, dude. You know what's actually funny? To tie that in, intimate with yourself, right?

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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Go ahead. I just want to say that I saw my... Everybody in their life has a human cryptid. It's true. And mine, his name was Mr. Floppy. The reason that is because I know very well that a man can be intimate with himself is because I remember one time at a sleepover, We sat there, and a kid excuses us. He says, I feel sick. I want to go to sleep. Like, all right, who gives a shit?

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We're playing MLB The Show on PS2. Great game. Go upstairs, and before we know it, we hear him, like, giggling in the room, and we hear, like, a... We're like, that's disgusting. We know what he's doing. But when we heard what he was talking to himself in the room, Isaiah, and he was saying, it's so floppy. So floppy.

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He was flopping it back and forth and we never said anything about it, but we made an inside joke and we called him Mr. Floppy for the rest of our lives. And I ran into him at the grocery store the other day.

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Come on. You tell me you didn't... You don't think that the Mr... Also, we were young. Mr. Floppy. That boy, I don't know what was going on, but there were some noises being made. It was disturbing, right? So floppy. I saw him.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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I'm getting like, and I'd say what was the most disturbing part about it is that he had pistachio muffins in his cart.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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So I said, there's no way. I said, Derek, it's nice to see you. He's like, oh, my God, it's been so long. And I knew that he was just packing some heat in his pants, so I didn't get too close. But I saw that he had four trays of pistachio muffins. To me, that was like a new thing and more lore. If you eat a lot of pistachios, maybe it makes you well endowed.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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That motherfucker had pistachio muffins out the woo-ha. Yeah.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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So they're like, wow, that's, that's so sorry that I'm just trying to tell you bits of my life of things that going on, which, you know, I thought that, you know, for what we had here absolutely should be to be fair.

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Intimacy requires two people. I said, I disagree. I know that people can be very intimate with themselves.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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It has nothing to do with the astronaut, but it has to do with the intimacy with two people. Mr. Floppy was very intimate with himself. That's all I had to say. And I was going to say that the rest of it was very well-written. I love the visual of the swollen joints and having to put somebody basically into a giant goddamn Ziploc bag. But then I couldn't get past Mr. Floppy.

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I thought it pertained. I'm sorry if it didn't. I apologize if it doesn't.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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You know, I actually thought that you would be somewhat intrigued by what I had to say, but I'll keep it to myself.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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If Cthulhu said hate speech, that's what it would sound like.

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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It will be kill shots across the board. What do you think of the idea of having to pack somebody up and put them out in space?

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The Only Other Astronaut On This Mission Died Six Weeks Ago

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Well, it's funny that you say that, too, because I thought to myself, you know what the bag made me think of was on like a canoe. You know, like whenever you're going into like you're floating with your buddies, whatever, and you have a trash bag. And the usual will happen is you you have like like a net trash bag. You put your cans in or whatever, and it kind of floats with you the side.

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I was like, God, he's describing it the same way, like a float trip almost. It felt that relatable to a float trip. Even though it's in the vacuums of space, I kind of immediately am now picturing this body just floating on a spacecraft idly the same way that this trash net would float in water.

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That's what I thought it was going to be. Yeah. Tow it, because then you don't want to just... You obviously want to bring back the body.

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Greywater | Creep Cast

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Do you think, because when you think of Bloody Mary, you think of like a bloody woman in like a Victorian dress, right? Well, I've always heard that it is Queen Mary. Okay.

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Greywater | Creep Cast

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Would it still be equally as effective if it was like, if you just said like Greg three times in the mirror, it was like a regular looking guy. Would that still be creepy? It'll be creepy, yeah. I think it adds, well, it's Greg's intentions with me. I mean, nothing. The thing is that when you say it, a middle-aged man will just be standing behind you in your reflection. Is he clothed? Yeah.

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Greywater | Creep Cast

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It's not that bad. I would say business casual. Yeah. Is he kind? He doesn't say a word. But does he look kind? He just kind of does the Jim Halpert smirk. This is a little quirky.

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Greywater | Creep Cast

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How fucked up would it be though that every time you look in a reflection, Greg's there?

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Greywater | Creep Cast

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Because I saw that Royal Caribbean shirt that you were wearing and I think you might have just been island hopping.

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Greywater | Creep Cast

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Hey, the new movie from A24 is coming out. Bring her back. Coming out May 30th. Go check it out.

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Greywater | Creep Cast

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I have bad heartburn this morning. Yeah, we got a sponsor from A24.

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Greywater | Creep Cast

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She took my hand and brought me up to her attic one time. It was like the second story of her house one time. Took me in this room, and she was like, Grandpa died right here on the floor.

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Greywater | Creep Cast

1300.834

Well, I remember just being like, listen here, you old hag. I'm not going to fucking go upstairs and, like, wait for a guy to just sit there and be like... Because all my grandpa did, different grandpa, not the bad guy. I assumed, I assumed, yeah. He would just sit there and he'd just eat M&M's in his chair. That's all I remember from him. And he fucking died. In that chair?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

1318.564

Yeah, and so then she left. She would seriously leave like a mason jar of M&M's up there because she's like, I see them every day. Did the M&M jar ever move? Did you ever see the amount go up or down? I don't know. I never went up there. She's like, I would lie right to her face. Did you go up and say hi to your grandpa? I'd say, yeah, I did. Yep.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

1347.29

I know you didn't see them. Because the hat man didn't get you. Yeah, she has some Kevin McAllister paint buckets waiting for me. Your frontal lobe isn't smashed in. That's odd. I'm trying to get you to say hi to Grandpa.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

137.112

I mean, I'm buddies with the Rocka Rocka guys. Philippo Brothers.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

1430.198

Yeah, so this is for the more dedicated. Exactly, yeah. People wanting to get spooked.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

1445.492

Probably that's why they're not as popular, though. Children can't do it over at sleepovers. That's true. You know what I mean?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

1455.659

Who do it all the time.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

148.277

Whatever, dude. I'm trying to keep them humble with their YouTuber. Okay, all right, yeah.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

153.862

They're coming out with their new movie, Bring Her Back, on May 30th. And you guys should check it out because it's going to be fucking... Actually, we got to see it, and it's amazing. Yes, yeah. We got to see it. They gave us a nice little screener. Sorry, we're famous. We're kind of cool. We're pretty neat. Yeah, Steven Spielberg was there.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

1684.082

I don't know which one came first, but this feels...

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

1686.284

very very similar just in terms of even the progress the beats of like how it progresses yeah i mean not specifically what's happening but just like hey by this mark this new thing's gonna happen the journey is kind of perilous whatever it is similar yeah on the seventh mile you may hear voices again no matter how close they may sound ignore them at all cost

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

182.111

It's pretty good. No, bring her back. Comes out in theaters on May 30th. For people that don't know, it is the sophomore film. from the brothers since their first freshman film, Talk to Me, which was a big hit.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

1931.068

Seems so weird that you went fucked up because I feel like the system knew. Yeah, but how? Maybe it just picked the cemetery. It's the same kind of shit of like... man, I really need to clean my house, so I need a new vacuum cleaner. And then you start getting vacuum cleaner ads. Yeah. Just the same kind of way that that technology works.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

1948.808

It's just like they hear shit and they're able to tell us it. Like maybe your mom was just like, remember I bought you that plot?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

1971.001

It feels so too coincidental, doesn't it?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

1990.366

Versus if you were like, yeah, I did it a bunch of times, and then one time, but just the one time. Just the one time.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2009.41

I want to have, I think I've said this before. I'm very adamant about it. I want to have a mausoleum made, but you go inside and I'm in a glass case and it's nice space. It's like nice space.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2022.485

Yeah. I'm going to be butt-ass naked, and the only way that the door opens is from the inside. So if I ever get resurrected, I can actually open it up and do that. But I won't be underground. I'm extremely claustrophobic, and the idea of being in a box for eternity fucks me up.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2046.102

It's so creepy. That they're like, oh, does he look comfy in here? And it's like you're in a tiny box with little curtains all around it, little fucking sheets, and you don't have a pillow. Can you imagine, like, you've been dead for, I don't know, 100 years, and you wake up for some reason, and you're just there? You're fucked. Do you remember that?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2068.686

And don't give me the whole thing of the body's deteriorated. I get it, but I'm saying that in a world where you wake up, let's say you're completely regenerated. Yeah, sure.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2097.495

yeah because this whole thing is uh the standing it's not like the actual bodies are there they just get so they just broil yeah to the point where they're just a bag of bones and then they like the people literally go in there and just like shove it into a pit yeah in the ground giant that's in your back of the yeah like where the body goes it's all of your like deceased family members who are now bundles of bones i don't know if i want to be cremated either though would you want to be cremated

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2127.701

I think almost every single one of my family members have been cremated.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2148.149

Yeah. No, that's very selfless. Not me though. Yeah. It was kind of like a ritualistic place in the normal world. Fucking build a bear. Build-A-Bear's a bit fucking... You know, you're actually kind of right. Don't you put like a fake heart in it and all this stuff and you sew it up?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2174.339

It's like a little fucking demon factory, isn't it? You know you could build your bear online? Where's the fun in that, though?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2207.054

you do deep penetration on that little motherfucker too. When they shoot the stuffing inside of it, it is crazy. They're like, they're like, all right, no, no, no, go six inches. And you're like, I'm like, all right, now, now 12. And you're like, keep this little motherfucker is spit roasted. I remember as a kid, it's great.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2238.716

When the workers do it, too, because you know that they're like, I just want to get this shit done with. They do it like this. Like that. It's like it's about to rip his head off. I got kind of traumatized when I was there when I was younger. My sister got one. Because you're supposed to name it. You, like, name it first. Well, it's been a while since I've been there. You name it, yeah.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2254.768

You name it first. And it's, like, coming in because it was, like, at the mall. We, like, came in because me and my dad were doing something and my mom and my sister were over there doing that. So we came in after the fact and she like had that thing and she was like slowly going down, like pushing it down to the pipe, whatever.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2271.692

Cause you like, they'll let you, you know, be like, here, put the stuffing into it. And she was going through and it's body was all propped up like this getting filled up. And I was like, what's your bear's name? And she like was looking at me.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2297.434

It's a bit, I'm like, because you don't think of a different way where you don't have to go into the ass and stuff it. Gabriel. Yeah, I was just like, Gabriel.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

230.986

Danny and Michael do this great thing. I think that's why we wanted to touch on the ritual stuff today. is in their movies, they know how to simply articulate a very straightforward ritualistic experience that is just super fun. And I think that, you know, we were talking about this beforehand, it's like Bloody Mary and all that stuff. I feel like the way that they present some of these rituals

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2307.683

I'm getting him a dog tag. I was like, what does that mean? Is he a war vet? Is he a fucking Vietnam war vet? What are you talking about? But the... I don't know. Is that still in business?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2337.975

A lot of great exclusive drops. Yeah, yeah. We like to keep up on. I'm sorry some of us love our wife. Like to give her things that she likes. I mean, more power to you. I just... Bad memories. It seems like such an outdated thing, too. Like, I don't think I've seen... I can't remember the last time I saw a kid have a teddy bear. Even like my cousin's kids, whatever...

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2359.284

It seems like such an outdated thing, doesn't it? I feel like they just have... I guess it's just cute and it's soft or whatever.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2384.962

Yeah. I probably, I realistically probably wouldn't want my kid having a phone until it was, if he's like, Hey, I'm going to go. Like if I was in my neighborhood when I was younger, I wish I had a cell phone whenever I was like, Hey, I'm gonna go ride bikes with my buddy.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

24.372

You want to talk to God? Yeah.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2403.724

Like 12, 12, 12 or 13. Yeah.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2406.806

But also there's no way to not have him access he or she to access. They are going to go to their friend's house and get on and do whatever. So if anything, I'd rather just be like, listen, buddy, you don't need to be watching people getting their fucking head smashed in with a hammer. Yeah. Yeah. Let's stay off of lively. Please. Yeah. Like have fun watching whatever. I mean, I can't.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2425.661

I feel like the more you restrict it, the more deeper they're going to get into it.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2436.403

What were you looking at, dude? Boob, boob, boob. Interesting. I love the young Isaiah. Just the word boob. Just typed in boob. But it's spelled like the way you put it into a calculator. Yeah, yeah.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2496.199

If I was a guessing man, I'm going to say you build yourself a little hide and go seeker.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2512.883

I hated that game when I was younger.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2522.357

You probably didn't play the midnight game.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

254.998

It feels just as like candid as that.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2549.702

You saw the midnight man, didn't you?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2576.658

Yeah, wooden door.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2591.107

Why did I do that? Why did I forget about all of it? I don't even want to speculate. Dude, it can't be good. In a game that involves the Midnight Man, I'm not wanting to speculate. There's no good outcome. There's really nothing that I can speculate on that I think ends in a positive light.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2612.442

The same re-triggering your memory, though, being don't be a baby is haunting.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2639.289

There's like a ghost in your eye. I feel like there's still something that just hasn't peaked its head out yet. I don't want to sit here and think about it. I don't think we should either.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2656.163

What was the friend's name? The house you were at. Remington. He was my friend. What was the last name of the Remington fame? No, that was his first name. Oh, what was his last name? Mountain. Remington Mountain? Yeah. I swear that was his name, yeah. The kid's name was Remington Mountain. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. Appalachia trashed it, I'm telling you. God. This is Tyler Springwater.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2682.209

And, of course, this is Bugs Raccoon Trap.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2707.071

Sorry, Nick. He's the Japanese expert. How do you say this name? Up top. Highlight it.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2751.078

This is, of course, the Japanese would be like, I want to revive grandpa into a wooden doll.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2761.866

You know, the one that the coyotes and foxes tore that teddy bear apart. I'm going to sew grandpa back together and it will be able to play games again. And you're like, huh? I miss my dad. I wish he was alive to play hide and seek with me again. Why don't you just hide and seek their friend? No, no, no. It has to be the spirit of the dead.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2790

It has to be someone who's seen heaven so I can ask him about it.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2797.145

I'd be like, cool. And I'd take that fucking teddy bear and I'd throw it away. Yeah. And then you watch it climb out of the trash can. Which I want to say, he's like, and I'd kill the kid. The curse fucking gets severed here. I can make a new kid, dude. I seriously think that if my kid did any spooky shit like that, I wouldn't kill the kid. That's what I'm going to do.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2836.57

I'd be like, enough. I'm throwing it away. Is that wrong? Is that bad parenting?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2885.055

Now we know exactly. This is the kind of person who dies in these situations. Nick definitely had a ball of yarn.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2917.998

And that's exactly why you should have, their parents should have fucking thrown the toys away.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2937.647

I see it like chip hazard and chip Archer. Yeah.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2943.63

So, yeah, but I'm saying, so you're basically just like, you were just like, oh, I wanted the movie to be real. Yeah. Well, you should have led with that.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2965.672

Okay, so... Because, yeah, there's definitely a difference between, like, just... I mean, like, being like, oh, I'm playing with the toy. You're, like, playing make-pretend. Yeah. Versus I had a friend who had, like, an imaginary friend. And it would be to the extent where you'd, like, sit down. He'd be like, that's not your seat. That kind of stuff. And that's where I'm like... That's creepy.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

2995.856

just to see to me to me that's just creepy that like that that's where it borders on being too fucking weird like yeah now if you did that and told your friends that that's funny but if you actually believe that that is a that's why i vividly i i'm finding out that i actually did this a lot because he said that and i did i did oh okay and i went downstairs and i was i pulled on his mom's shirt and i was like i want to go home

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3020.476

come pick me up. I'm scared. I was like, I'm not, I'm not doing this. Cause also back then getting like hangout days, it was like, it's like a vacation.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3031.199

You got to really, you know, like it's a big thing, especially if you, cause with that one too, it was a whole thing where you're all excited. Cause you're like, I get to ride bus number five today and go to his house. You know, I've never ridden on that bus to go to his house. And then you get there and it's that shitty. You're like, I'm not about to spend my time like this. Yeah.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3047.367

I'm not in it for the long haul. I'm not putting up with this guy. Fuck that.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3052.251

Yeah. And then you also find out that, yeah, too, the fucking, the mom's like, yeah, he doesn't have any M-rated games. All we have is E. And you're like, get me the fuck out.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3061.318

Get me out. Yeah.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3113.138

Just want to say, we should cut this. I was going to say, I wonder if that's why also she cut the hair, because there was something that was representative of... The mother is doing this for her daughter, so I wonder if a dad needed something there for her daughter.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3131.508

Like a parental figure needed to have a representation in the... I will say, to answer this and to answer it in a way we can include this in...

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3140.915

Well, yeah, I was going to say, well, everything we've said so far, there's been little hints of that kind of ritualistic shit.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3228.097

It's eerily similar how many of those tie into the movie yesterday. Yeah.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3260.621

Yeah, violated your safe space.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3418.178

You're literally mixing Bloody Mary and Hide and Go Seek together.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

356.053

It was above Darth Maul.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3583.445

Well, yeah, of course. But usually with some... Sometimes with a lot of rituals, there's something at least where the danger is a reward of being able to speak with a loved one.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3598.656

Well, it was also a

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

360.336

It was on the side.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3644.967

Yeah, the blood vessel thing's fine. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty fun. Yeah, the burying it with salt and stuff.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3683.995

Yeah, I was looking at the comments, and it looks like some of the earliest comments are like 2021.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

375.468

I'll tell you honestly a reason that I'm I'm just so excited that my friend's here and that we get to, you know, read this. And then also, this coffee's blasting through me. Like, I'm not even joking. Like, I'm going to have to take, like, a five and, like... Dump it out.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

3959.296

Nice little like, was basically able to basically bring her back right there?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

398.702

I mean, but I'm like wanting to just get rolling.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4020.225

As I held her down the bath. I mean, what was he assuming that we're assuming that she drowned her? Sounds like.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4028.653

So he drowned him? So what I think is happening is, I bet you she was sick, and then he killed her. Yes. So then that's the secret that he probably gave him, is that he's like, I want you to get rid of this memory. That's what I'm assuming, right? He's like, I have a secret I wanted to deposit. And he's like... Yeah.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

404.564

We have not gotten rolling yet. If you need... We haven't even read a thing yet. I've been doing this intro for 12 hours. There's a movie called The Midnight Game that came out in 2013. It might be related. She has a pentagram on her back, so that's probably... It's probably related, yeah. Can't find the emger.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4049.029

Yeah. He loved her. And then he wanted to do that. I mean, I'm assuming that he killed her because she was sick.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4060.859

At first, whenever I first read it, I was like, oh, I thought that she, he like deposited whatever thing the transaction was that she got to come back. But I think that the thing is, is that. Take my memory from me. Yeah. Yeah. Which also is making me wonder too. It's like, did he give him the right memory? Right. Or else why would he say that last line?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4079.958

If he wanted to not remember it, would he not have... Well, he's still... He is still being a part of the ritual.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4113.589

I would guess at least very, uh, kind of, you know, it has like a, like almost like a ferry man of the dead kind of vibe too with the old dude.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4158.688

Well, I think a common theme with all these, like, the bath and water and all that stuff has to be something that's a parallel with baptism and that kind of stuff. Rebirth, all that kind of stuff.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4200.868

don't do that how sick would it be though if danny and michael were able to start instead of like a chicken jockey train people like throwing popcorn people were taking like i don't know like their kids there and like sacrificing them in the theaters or something like there's a mass a24 is gonna watch this and they've got to sign off on it they're gonna be like just that hunter hancock all right cinephiles what should the popcorn bucket be for bring her back

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4236.919

The silence has been so loud today.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4257.38

Right. The only reason I think that she's sick is because of the sensor, the hair falling out. Yeah. Which is just a very, a very quick way of like, I mean, chemotherapy or man. Yeah. Yeah.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4273.361

Fair you to go there. But this is one thing, I know we've said it before, but with these older creepypastas, like before the 2016, 2015 era, they all felt like very bite-sized, just, you know, like little...

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4286.42

dreadful almost like poems or something you know with this kind of weird character i don't know where the fuck that is gray water what who who cares what it is right it's just a place that we know he's going yeah and you have like a creepy old man it doesn't linger too much on it you don't really give a fuck what he looks like punchy yeah all the way through you get your nice little bit you're like oh that's it it's like a nice little bite-sized thing which is cool yeah

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4308.081

The movie itself sounds like... It reads like an older creepypasta where it doesn't... It doesn't, like, go... It is very to the point, almost the same way that this is, where I will say in the movie, it's like... I mean, you're hitting the ground running. Yeah, well, that's what I said. And it doesn't try to, like, throw any weird curve... I mean, it's just like... It's a fucking...

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4326.061

punch to the face.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4339.404

Like, which is very, you know, it's this, it's a similar vibe to what they did with talk to me as well. Yes. Yeah.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4348.226

One thing I liked about all the other like ritual stuff we read today too, which it's like all cringe shit that like, you know, pre-teen people would do with whatever, but there's something so fun about just, like, you have a... Because nowadays, the internet has ruined so much fun stuff to where back in the day, you could just be like, hey, seriously, you'll fucking die if you do this.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4368.259

Anyway, here's how you do it. Versus now, there would have to be, like, all these, like, I think people would be like, well, they're not going to believe you have to like go through all these like loopholes now, like try to get people in a state where they are like kind of vibing with it. But I just love that old, that old internet like game aspect of like, this is what you're supposed to do.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4385.858

And it's so simple. And also it's the same kind of thing with like why I like found footage stuff or even some of the r slash no sleep stuff where it's coming from the perspective of a person. So you're like, is this real? But being able to actually feasibly do it yourself with your friend, it's just kind of, it's like nice cringe fun.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4415.916

Yeah, who cares?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4419.478

And that's not to also discredit the... author, the people who did actually write it. It's just more so that like... It was a magical time. The source material is so much like, I don't care who fucking wrote it. This is just something that I want to do with my friends.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4479.522

You can tell that it's like the film is from people who enjoy these like old internet horror stories versus like a 56-year-old guy at a studio being like, it's a Facebook horror movie. Yeah. Right? So you're going to get, it's just that nice, it feels very earnest in its approach.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4507.305

Would you recommend any of our viewers of any age perform any of these rituals tonight?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4528.694

Your dad has a gun box in his closet. It's not very imaginative.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4547.143

Don't do that.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4559.069

That's not that big of a deal.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4560.992

Have you guys pricked your thumb at all?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4570.512

You just poke it. If you gash your fucking hand open, then I think you deserve to bleed out.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4593.324

It was just the noise.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4594.884

Yeah, yeah. When you're in a dark house, even if you're the one knocking on a door, you don't want to be in a fucking dark house.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4606.252

See, if we're skirting on the rules, like, you guys are like, fuck, I don't have the fucking lighter. I'd be like, I'm going to do, like, three. I'm going to knock on three times, all right? Because also, I'd get in my head, and I'd be like, 19. I'm like, what the fuck was that?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4649.198

I'll tell you right now, you let in some fucking, we're going to have to talk about some of these traumatic things that you've been keep digging up.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4672.848

Guys, that is our creepy creep cast. I'm gonna say creep host episode, creep cast episode today. Be sure to check out, bring her back May 30th. Seriously. Thank you. YouTuber means a lot. YouTuber pals. Great guys. And the movie fucking rules. So if you guys want to watch a horror film, take your buddies out, take your wife, your girl, your boy, anybody out to go see it. It's a good time.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

4691.292

Thank you so much. And we'll see you in the next one. Bye-bye. Kill your parents.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

533.587

Just like, sorry, I did not expect Midnight Man. I'm sorry. You just allowed the Midnight Man into your house.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

550.558

It's like, yeah, the midnight game, whatever. All of a sudden, it's like, knock on the door 22 times, blow out the candle. You just invited the midnight man into your house. Congratulations. What?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

576.199

What does a midnight man look like to you? Well, that's the thing.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

66.619

You know, it's just a ritual, dude. It's not the end of the world. Kill your parents. Okay. All right.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

719.121

First of all, I just want to say if I would have read this when I was like at a very young age, this would scare the shit out of me. Well, even like doing with your friends where it's like, I don't know, like I could see myself getting freaked out. I just love how this reads a bit though, where it's just like, if you see a, if you see a man made of shadows, that's the, who are you?

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

741.397

situation is that my dad like after the midnight man thing you'd be like well that could be anybody and i love the idea too of do not definitely don't try to provoke the midnight man anyway yeah because you know there's gonna be some kids where they're gonna be doing the ritual and they they put that in there so when kids are doing it they're like i don't fucking see him fuck you stop

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

795.893

It's not allowed or else it'll put a curse upon his bloodline or something. It'll curse his family. They'll die.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

817.021

The only thing I think I ever did when I was younger was, what the fuck is it when you're laying...

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

821.886

flat as a board whatever light as a feather what am i thinking flat as a board light as a you sit there and you you have a friend that's like laying down and then you like you have your pinkies under them and they like lift you off the ground you're like oh oh i know what you're talking about i remember that yeah yeah dude i felt my soul in my body i felt my soul in my body i was getting lifted up bro bro bro bro bro dude dude i i want to go home i want to go home

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

847.564

I had a kid seriously do that at one of my friend's birthday parties. Even at a young age, you're like, what? He's like, I want to go home. And his mom had to come get him at like, I'm not even joking. It was like 1.30 at the party.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

864.213

Like, we didn't really lift you off the ground.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

871.917

Yeah, I cut the reality. It's me. I'm the kid to say that.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

879.193

Yeah, exactly.

CreepCast

Greywater | Creep Cast

955.777

We're going to do a real boys.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

10.563

Welcome back to Creepcast! How you guys doing today? Today we are doing the famous Creepypasta run. We've been on a very, very big r slash no sleep kick. And the problem with doing normal Creepypasta is that a lot of them are very, very short. And if we only did one and we focused on one, some of these podcasts would be three minutes long. I mean, it would be a very quick episode.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1024.13

And... There you go. Candle Cove. The classic. That's a classic one of a children's show. Kind of like some it vibes of like kids only experience it. Do you think 1999 was kind of inspired by that? Because when did this... Yeah, 2009.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1116.557

It's probably so influential at the time. I mean, looking at it from there too, 2009, that's like, that's gotta be some of the reasons that like, I don't know, r slash no sleep came around because even the way that it's supposed to be like, oh, there's your posts on the internet, like utilizing that kind of, uh,

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1134.021

That vibe of, oh, these are actual people talking to each other, even though it's in a story format. I wonder what the influence is to even just be like, oh, this is all supposed to be utilizing Reddit as a horror place to post a story that feels real and it's more immersive. Even like Twitter ARGs, all that kind of shit. It feels like it all stems from this thing.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1154.097

And I do remember now, too, there's that show on Shudder. What was that called? Channel Zero. Channel Zero.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1165.927

Yeah. So it's cool to see the influence just kind of go over. I never finished the... I think I've watched the first episode. I remember I thought the first episode was kind of cool. But I don't know if the series... Maybe the viewers might know or listeners might have an idea if the show was any good. Did you watch Channel Zero at all?

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1213.439

If we did a Creep TV for Channel Zero, but we should read the stuff too and then be like, how do they adapt it? Because now reading Candle Cove... granted it's going to be one of those things where they're just like, that's a great premise. And they're probably going to expand. They're just like, let's make a full season arc out of like the kid.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1229.696

It's probably the guys meeting up and being like, do you remember this thing? And then he like, you know, it's kind of like it, you get all the people back together, they come back and they try to figure out what the fuck was going on. Or whatever.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1253.982

I'm a search and rescue officer, yeah. Yeah, Butcher's Block. So it's Candle Cove, No End House, Butcher's Block, The Dream Door.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1267.493

When they discover a door in the basement, the secret starts, uh, whatever butchers blocks, uh, young woman and her schizophrenia.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1306.023

Oh, so we, all we would have to do is read that. And I think that'd be a fun deep dive.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1334.671

Dead Bart. Can't wait for this. I fucking hated the Squidward thing. God damn it. So this is another peak era. This is a year after Candle Cove. So this is whenever... This is definitely early on. This is I, but I will say I love an early creepypasta stuff. Just children writing horror stories. There's something about children that are so that's just so funny.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1357.404

The unfiltered nature of what they think is scary and creepy.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1380.691

If that person was just like, I'm going to make a Simpsons horror thing and they didn't even put two and two together, that's so fucked.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1408.243

I already don't understand what you mean by, you know how Fox is a weird. It's like, no. What do you mean? There's DVDs. There's tons of documented sources.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1611.929

Homer seemed more angry. He strangles his son every episode.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1625.748

This is like reading the Declaration of Independence and, like, giggling.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1634.433

Actually, one second. I'm getting ready to have diarrhea. One second.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

171.789

So are we starting? Do you want to start with the long one to kind of like? Let's start with Candle Cove. I've heard Candle Cove is supposed to be pretty good.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1741.785

Yeah. I mean, yeah, you're going fast, but I don't think you would just get immediately sucked out of the window. No, no, no.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1784.161

I already counted it. I know. And hyper-realistic. Photorealism, hyper-realistic, and then realistic blood.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1801.466

What are you talking about? Once you unveiled the idea, though, that people were just like, yeah, you have to put yourself in the mind of a kid being like, sure.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1811.929

yeah yeah yeah i've never seen the simpsons but i get it i know what you're saying yeah i also really like i also really like and made an almost photorealistic drawing of uh of his dead body and it's like bart is a like super round bulbous yellow man with no hair and just spikes on his head it's like look how really looks wow it's like i'm there damn

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

191.42

I just don't want to do, I hate video game shit. Like Lavender Town, that sounds cool. I don't know what the fuck that is. That's a shame. Huh? That's a shame because you don't, you're not picking today. Okay. All I know is I saw there was like Sonic X, EX, and then I said, I was like, oh, Suicide Mouse. And you're like, that's Mickey Mouse or whatever.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1971.393

I will say that's a that was a fun twist. I did not expect. I thought I thought that it was just going to be like. I got really scared and turned it off. Instead, at least it went the angle of being like, yeah, everyone dies the same day. That'd be so funny, though. Also, this does play into the idea that the Simpsons predict the future. Like that meme. Of course. So, you know what?

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

1992.602

Actually, more brownie points. Not bad. Yeah. Way better than Ben Drown. Way better than Ben Drown.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2049.669

We have Webster's dictionary here writing the story.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

216.544

No, no, no. I know that for sure. I know that there's Sonic. That's why when I was scrolling through, I was like, oh, God. And I just remember because it's not like we've never talked about some of these before in the past, but it's mostly been like passing. Like just being like, Oh yeah, there was a lot of like video game stuff. Cause we did Sonic XE XE X, whatever.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2242.558

They're just like, he's right at heaven's doorstep right now, guys. Just give him a couple more days.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2325.172

One thing I like about this is there was no apparent signs of cause of death. Wasn't he like ripping out his eyes and biting his flesh and stuff? We have no idea. There was no apparent cause of death. I want to say this though. I want to say this, the idea. So this is actually a sick idea. Like the idea of this is really, really cool. It reminds me a lot of, uh, martyrs.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

234.079

What was the, um, I feel like we did another video game one. Didn't we do another video game one? It was a legend of Zelda. That's what it was. So yeah, when we were, I think even then we were talking, talking about how it was just like, Oh yeah.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2348.228

If you think this idea is cool, you should watch Martyrs.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2357.154

Yeah. I mean, I think that the movie came out, which Martyrs, the French version, I think, came out in 2008. So maybe they just saw it and they're like, oh, cool. Because it seems like it's a mixture of Martyrs and Russian sleep experiment. That's what it feels like to me. Yes, exactly. In Martyrs, for people who haven't seen Martyrs in the French film, it's all about like a high society where...

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2375.347

Basically, like billionaires or whatever will pay to come in and they basically take people and torture them as a martyr because the only people that have ever who have contacted to be to see God is right before you die as a martyr. And you're like basically tortured, basically like Christlike levels of torture.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2396.297

you're able to like see God and people are able to like look in your eyes and see like reflections of heaven. It's very, it's very odd, but it's an awesome movie. Like it's worth, it's crazy. So, you know, fucking warning.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2424.342

I think it's the American one. The English one is so not worth watching. Just watch the French one. The English one sucks. It's not worth it. But the, I like the idea of a guy being, I like also they established a homeless guy who had nothing left to live for. but at the same time, you know, I like it. It's, it's fun. It's short. It's, it's punchy.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2444.348

And you know, the whole thing, Oh, see God, but really sees the, you know, he sees hell and all that stuff to me. That's like fun schlocky, you know, stuff that happens. I would be curious to see like somebody, uh, come in and, you know, make this like a full-fledged thing. Because you could also get, the characters are all there.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

246.709

Oh God. You'll never forget about me, Hunter. I almost did. I feel like that. That's why my life has been so much better lately is because that was out of the mental cortex. Tiffany. It's me. I'm very excited, though. I'm excited to... I think that this is going to be a fun experience. You know what's fun about an episode like this, too, that I was just thinking about?

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2461.414

Conflicted scientists who want to do these things, you know, back and forth there. The homeless guy, why does he want to do this?

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2481.299

uh so every reading of it you would find online have this video paired with it oh that's creepy it's like someone building clay around their face and then it's that he's a that's a french uh performance artist i know exactly who this is he puts clay on his face that's like his whole thing he has a great of course you would know where it is of course you would i think whoever showed me this the first time i'm pretty sure it was james lee

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2504.77

showed me this this guy very weird disturbing stuff but usually he like puts clay on his face like takes his thumbs and makes like holes out of it or like poke into it but yeah this is like a I think like a pretty well known French performance artist very cool very weird stuff the YouTube channel that posted this

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2544.476

they're just they're the og homies i mean i'm pretty sure that they they i think that they probably made that black and white and they put the music behind it because usually that guy's stuff is in color i'm pretty sure but i'm pretty sure he still does stuff too so you know dude okay this is i'm scrolling through this guy's channel who posted it uh and we can show this image on screen when i was a kid i remember seeing this picture

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2598.37

rocky rocky mountain paranormal research society which is like a guy sitting in his mom's mom's living room i imagine that's what most paranormal research societies yes that's i'm pretty sure that's where all of them are based out of yeah yeah i love that though just i love the whimsy and mysticism of being a youngin should we should we move everything should we move on let's move on let's move on i think but yes gateway to the mind was huge for me i love this one when i was a kid

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2641.772

I like that big, grandiose, cheesy stuff. Yeah. I like the God has abandoned us, whatever. I like that kind of stuff.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

267.862

You know how many people that are also... that maybe got into creepypasta stuff because of the show? They're going to go in blind just like me. And then there's tons of seasoned veterans readers... who their eyes have glazed over multiple times and they're twiddling their fingers probably and foaming at the mouth.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2722.487

You indirectly said it and now you're going to be, you're dead. I'm in the sack.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2728.631

You are fucking dead. Hyper-realistic blood is pouring all over you. You are dead. All over me. I'm dead.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2737.498

That's the whole thing. But see, that's a classic. All right. One of the top rated, one of the classic stories listed on creepypasta.com. You know what, though? Once again, Wade has set up a nice little way to kind of fuck over the reader at the end. I like that.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2755.7

Yeah, dude, that's sick. To be a kid back then and be like, No!

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2786.338

I clicked it, and it's a Minecraft person standing here.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2797.282

I feel like I've heard of it. I just don't know what it is. I feel like I've heard the name Herobrine.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

292.399

Candle Cove. Let's start off. Also, too, just want to say, as always, check us out on Spotify, Apple Podcast, the audio platforms. Give us a nice rating there. We appreciate you. If you appreciate this show, it means a lot to us. And also... Soon, probably in the next month or two, we should be having more Creepcast merch. And there's some sick designs that I'm really stoked for you guys to see.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

2988.841

Yeah, I see. I see him down the bottom left. The original hair brand post on 4chan by anonymous user. Wow.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3089.073

Let me ask you this. So it's obviously a ghost of the game, right? It's like a ghost of Notch's dead brother.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3098.001

So, but he doesn't really do anything. Was it just because, oh, it's creepy?

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3113.576

So this is like more so people took this story and they just started making a tons of scary shit with the hook handed man.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3124.146

Yeah. I mean, I, I, once again, it's, it's, it's awesome to see how these things formulate, but I bet you anything. There was tons. I, I have to imagine there was tons and tons of, uh, People's videos or people who would write their own and be like, yeah, I saw him and he killed my dog.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

317.953

So hold out for that, but just know it's coming. So get ready. I'm excited.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3192.882

I was gonna say the new, the newest one feels like, uh, that feels comparable to that is like all the backroom stuff.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3197.967

all the background games that came out very similar different like you know liminal horror stuff that got you know of uh the big thing with the kids the kid angles i was like oh this is definitely starting to get into the kid territory is it'd be like large creepy industrials thing and then all of a sudden there'd be like giant slides and like pools that's what i was like oh that's that's when we're that's that's you know we're in the thick of the the children era of it now

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3222.443

You know, big, colorful, weird, uncanny, like maybe there's like a playground.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

329.319

And I don't go to the doctor as much as I should. And I don't want to deal with an appointment and insurance and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3293.949

And it's written by anonymous author. So, you know, that's how you, that's another good.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

337.215

So I let somebody else handle it. And that's why I use ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors. Choose the right one for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3372.506

It's been really cold around here. Fuck, I wish I had all my... I have no articles of clothing.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3412.672

Oh God, dude. Fuck off. This is like some serious, like common courtesy is so hard to find. I bought a black hoodie. What's this? David King. It's the David King voice.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3484.553

I love that this first entry is a guy being like, I'm cold. I'm going to go to a random store, probably a Walmart, and he's just like, I feel like I want to kill somebody. That's 100% where it's going. The jacket's telling me to kill people.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3517.775

Well, yeah, exactly. He's like, whoever's reading this is also 13 years old.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3548.21

This is the, this is like the four chain or red pillar. Probably jacket.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

355.663

from mental health to dental health to eye care to skin care and much, much more. And the nice thing about ZocDoc is that you can filter for doctors that take your insurance that are nearby and are highly rated. It's super easy to use and you can find an appointment time that works for you with the right doctor that fits your needs.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3591.69

He got punched in the face by a guy. He took it, and he's just like, yeah, it barely hurt.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

36.711

So today we're going to run through Probably almost try to get all of the key, big, old creepypastas. And we're just putting them all into a grab bag here for you. And we're just going to run through every single one of them. So some of these you probably have definitely heard, read, or whatever. But once again, as always, I have not read any of these classics. We've touched on some of them.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3650.221

Kakarot, your voice sounds identical to what it... It's normal. Never mind.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3661.553

I feel like you actually sound a little better today.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

372.354

Plus, ZocDoc appointments happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same-day appointments. You don't want to admit it, but you should probably see the doctor. Go to ZocDoc.com slash Creepcast to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash Creepcast. ZocDoc.com slash Creepcast.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3720.467

I mean, that sounds fine, but I just, you know, I don't know. I feel like I need some distance from you, Kakarot.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3800.407

I'm almost like fucking Capote or Droopy at this point.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3850.646

This is going to be the rest of the hooded man's voice, by the way. It feels so much better.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3887.135

He punched him so hard that they're like, his body will not retain blood in the hospital.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3970.76

If he is only a serial killer that punches people, this very well may be a better premise than Jeff the Killer, dare I say.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3987.531

Of the punch, the hoodie punch man. One punch man. The American apparel hoodie punch man. Yeah. Yeah.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

3998.418

made dead actually you know i like to think i like to think that he went to buckle and it's one of those ones that had like a it was like an affliction one it had like a giant bejeweled cross on it he's like i feel so powerful the bejeweled cross is good but what you're really what it really needs to be you remember the rock star energy merch everyone wore for a while yeah dc shoes it's like that it's got the giant rock star star like it's either rock star or it's any it's any snowboarding or my or a motocross shirt from paxton yes he's like yes yeah you're

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4075.097

I like to think that this character, he walks in and his hands are underneath. His hands are in between two pieces of bread.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4226.867

So you know what's funny about this? I just want to say this immediately. This is extreme. And not to make a lot of it, this is extreme school shooter vibes. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4239.27

I wish he punched people. Yeah, I wish that he just punched more people. Also, it's funny, too, to think that the cops would let him just wear the jacket in his cell.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4251.34

Well, it is, but usually if you get moved in, they have you, you'll take off your personal possessions and they'll keep it. And then they give you like a uniform or whatever. If I think if you're staying there overnight, first multiple days, I could be wrong, but yeah, I, this idea, which I want to say this,

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4267.392

I'd say if people are feeling... Because this feels like somebody who's like, everybody in my life is wronging me, whatever. Maybe just write a fun story instead of doing something crazy. I also think we need to have a new arc of this kind of character. The badass, like the misunderstood badass kid who's just like, you shouldn't have provoked me. This story is lost because it's a...

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4291.497

It's, it's so, you know, wrapped in people are like, it's cheesy and stupid. I said, bring it, bring it back, dude. Bring it back, please.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4309.442

It was him putting his hood up. It was literally a guy going to a American Eagle store, buying a $20 zip up hoodie. And he's like, Holy fuck. When he puts up his, his hood, he's like, people could kind of see me, but not really. He's like the guy in grandma's boy. When he's like pressed up against the wall, the black wall, he has his leather jacket on. And they're like, what are you doing?

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4331.938

And he's like, how could he see me that moment? He reminds me of JP.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4352.869

I also just like the kid bleeding profusely for two weeks. And he was bleeding for personal issues. Yeah, he was bleeding. The conditions were personal issues. It's like, do you mean when you punched him and you destroyed every organ in his body? Was it that personal issue?

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

437.131

I'm Mike Painter, 65, responding to the subject of the post above. It seems really familiar to me. I grew up outside of Ashland and was nine years old in 1972. Skyshell responds, Yes, okay, I'm not crazy. I remember Pirate Percy. I was always kind of scared of him. He looked like he was built from parts of other dolls. Real low budget.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4384.249

By far, today, my favorite story we've read. Easily. Most entertaining. I'll say that.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4649.956

I just want to say, first off, I love the angle this is going. It's going into a Laughing Jack kind of territory of things or whatever. But I just want to say, too, how fucking creepy would it be where it's like, hey, the tooth fairy said he couldn't find your tooth. I gave it to Ick. And it's like, you're like, okay.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4674.97

And then at some point, all of your children's teeth are going to be into a sock puppet you made for him. How creepy would that be, dude?

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

478.522

jaren 2005 says sorry to resurrect this old thread but i know exactly what show you mean skyshell i think candle cove ran only for a couple months in 71 not 72. i was 12 and i watched it a few times with my brother it was channel 58 whatever station that was my mom would let me switch to it after the news let me see what i remember

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4845.867

Yeah, because you're not for the cause. So, come on. Yeah, yeah.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

4984.74

They call my mom a psychopath and keeps every baby tooth in a mason jar from my nine relatives.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

499.741

It took place in Candle Cove, and it was about a little girl who imagined herself to be friends with pirates. The pirate ship was called the Laughing Stock, and the pirate Percy wasn't a very good pirate because he got scared too easily. And there was a Kelly Op music constantly playing. Don't remember the girl's name, Janice or Jade or something. I think it was Janice.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5001.746

She's strapped down. She's electric taped down to the sofa.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5011.486

It's like definitely a kid like emotionally distraught from like his disturbed parents. She's like trying to, she's like sitting there like peeling back the skin on her fingers. Sure, sweetheart, go ahead. All right, mommy, I love you.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5139.997

I just want to say, I want to say good. I want to say this is, this could be a really cool story. If it would have taken the, let me put you an angle for my kid. He does this. He becomes obsessed with teeth and he has like a, and his, and his mom gives him like a sock puppet or she's like, Oh, I mean, I don't worry. I'm your friend too. And she like jokes with them.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5159.188

What if he took, what if he becomes like a killer that like has a bunch of like weird animal and human teeth and he was like bite, like he has, it's like a hand puppet thing. He's going around fucking like biting people's faces and shit. And that kind of stuff. Like a very disturbed man. I didn't mean to do it. I liked it.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5345.211

It is creepy. Well, here's the interesting thing about this, because that is the end of the story. First off, I just want to say, some of these old ones where it's like, when people are like, oh, they're cringe or whatever, I think the cringe angle just comes because it's just like, you could tell it was like, oh, it's Pokemon, whatever. Pretty interesting idea, though.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5361.844

In the 90s, first off, I just want to say in the 90s, there's no way that this is, I mean, maybe it is. So in 2001... There was a movie called Suicide Club. It was a Japanese horror film. And it was all about like basically a pop band where people, teenagers would listen to the song and teenagers would just basically kill themselves.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5379.725

But it was like it was inspired by the suicide rate rise in the mid 90s in Japan because of like some economic crash that happened. And there was, I mean, a ton of that that happened there. to see that correlate to around the same time when Pokemon came out and to have it be something that's also inspired by like, you know, only kids and teens can hear this thing. It's just, I don't know.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5400.083

It's cool. I don't know if it's intentional, but I just want to say, if you haven't seen suicide club, it's not like it's a, you know, it's not like it's like super amazing movie, but it's pretty interesting just to see this kind of like phenomenon of like a culture move through and it's affecting people that like, listen to this song or whatever.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5418.402

So I just found that comparison kind of interesting.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5434.894

All of these so far, I just want to say all these so far, not that bad.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

544.917

Mike responds again and says, I remember now too. Do you remember this part, Skyshale? You have to go inside.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5449.264

That's the best thing is that all of them have this campfire urban legend kind of vibe where you can tell it to your friends and they're like, what? Really? That I feel is lost now. I just don't feel like those things are... you know, that fun anymore.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5464.171

And it was fun to whenever the, which, you know, the internet had been around for a little bit since then, but it was such this new frontier where you're like, what, maybe it is whatever. So I don't know if there's probably a new piece of some, something new that'll come out to where that will hopefully we'll get to have some more of that love again in that world.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5520.462

One night... I'm getting flashbacks from that. My fucking aunt with her licking her feet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5526.784

Thank you for bringing that up again. Thank you for... I'm just saying, this is becoming very personal for me. Sorry, go ahead. I got you.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5556.517

I love this setup of like creepy thing, but my dog, it wasn't me, the dog licking my hand.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5649.744

You know what, this feels like a fun story. Like something that fun and punchy where like, ooh, kind of reminds me of that YouTube short that got turned into a movie. It was like Lights Out.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5667.614

Yeah, Don't Turn Off the Lights, whatever that is. But it's just one of those little, I miss those old horror vignettes that would happen.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5764.354

What an extra first sentence. My childhood was like a drop of water in a vast river. It's like, bro, bro.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

58.756

We're also on creepypasta.com. We're looking at some of them here, and I see like 1999 is at the top of creepypasta.com. We've read that. We tried reading Bedtime before. It was boring as hell. But I think that's whenever me and Isaiah were in person, we tried reading it, et cetera.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

5936.145

I shrugged. You know, the toy. The little robot with the big ears. You can pet and feed them. Almost like a real pet. Oh. Mr. Widemouth resumed his activity.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

595.362

How do we know it's not the professional, the huge stand-up comedian Kevin Hart? We'll never know. I think you should do that voice. I am not. I am not going to.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

609.068

I honestly. I honestly thought that the villain was pirate Percy. I was about five when the show was on nightmare fuel. Jaron says that wasn't the villain. The puppet with the mustache. That was the villain sidekick. Horace Horrible. He had a monocle, too. But it was on top of the mustache. I used to think that meant he only had one eye. But yeah, the villain was another marionette.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

636.91

The Skin Taker. What the fuck? The Skin Taker. I can't believe what they let us watch back then. Holy hell! That just turned up to 11.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

653.723

Oh yeah, that is what I'm forgetting, huh? I forgot about the skin taker. That was the missing clue for the series. The skin taker. The man who was completely naked on screens trying to extend his foreskin. Yeah, so Kevin Hart again says, Jesus H. Christ, the skin taker.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

6551.341

I thought he was going to say beer. I was like, holy shit. But my dad was drinking coffee and bush light all morning, so he was totally good to go. Just getting hammered on the road. I've never heard anyone say six pack of energy drinks. A six pack of natty light and some coffee and dad was wide awake.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

6573.758

You know how dad gets shaky in the morning? He needs his magic water.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

6582.344

I get shaky. That's why that cooler's in between your legs. Reach in there and get dad some of his magic water.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

6595.533

Don't you get it? Dad, I really don't think you should talk about mom that way. He's like getting it from all these different angles. I really feel like you should. It's like, stop being gay and just give me the beer. Goddamn.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

6690.347

I know it's hard for you, as sick as you've been. Once daddy gets promoted, we can settle down and you can make some friends.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

6723.014

Dude, seriously, you're killing my fucking buzz. Turn off the ZZ Top and just shut the hell up. If I have to hear one more word out of you, I'm sorry.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

676.283

good god what kind of kids are we watching i seriously could not look at the screen when the skin taker showed up he just descended out of nowhere on his strings just a dirty skeleton wearing that brown top hat and cape and his glass eyes that were too big for his skull christ almighty

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

6784.411

Dun, dun, dun. First off, I just want to say, uh, perfect, creepy pasta material. I love, love, love that. All right. Mr. Wide mouth being, uh, I love the idea of a monster just being like, Hey kid, you should jump out the window, kill yourself, jump out the window. What's the worst. I just love a reluctant child being like, ah, I really don't think it's a good idea.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

6809.015

And the person just being like, no, seriously, it's super fun.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

6822.138

Mr. White Mouth may have moved his way to the top of today for me.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

698.73

Well, at least they, they grinded it back down. You know, I like they, they ground it back down with him being like, Oh, it was a skeleton with a cape and hat, whatever. So it's still, it's still in the vein of this children's show. It's not like it's some, you know, it's a little too dark thematically.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

6997.219

It's kind of interesting to do the German thing since deletions because it's like, it seems like people, they're like basically stealing people's memories, loading them onto these cabinets and then people come up and pick them up away. I like, you know, this is like another little urban legend meme too, but it's also something that's, I just like a weird fake.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

7016.753

I guess you could just call it misinformation, but I'm just going to say it's like... I like when people are like, oh, yeah, there used to be these... Because attached here, we'll attach the screenshots, but there's actual black and white photos of cabinets and stuff and whatever else. It's just kind of fun.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

7141.99

I see. Well, that's fucking cool then, too. Yeah, I mean, that's a fun way to just reintroduce that shit into the zeitgeist, the online horror zeitgeist.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

7162.485

I think we need to do who was phone at least. Okay. But there's also who can't trust anyone.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

728.486

I really hope that it wasn't, uh, they didn't even go into it. And people were just like, yeah, but that wasn't the villain. It was side night, Sydney. Oh, yeah, that's right. Cyanide Cindy. But she wasn't. She wasn't the main villain. It was Al-Qaeda Al. You're like, no. Yeah, Al-Qaeda Al, he was scary. It just keeps going and going.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

74.868

And then we've read Been Drowned. So there's some on here that we've read already, but I see one at the top here that I feel like I've heard of before called Candle Cove. And I believe we're going to start with today. So some of these are ranging from, it says less than a minute. And I think the longest we'll ever read is like 10 minutes. So it's going to be, it's going to be a lot of them.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

7411.767

I like to think that he put his hand over his mouth, threw up, the fucking vomit went everywhere, and he's like, and grabbed the guy's gun.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

7475.607

At least we got the guy pulling out the gun. You know, I seriously feel like the Candle Cove thing was so influential. It just all feels like it's kind of all ties back into that, doesn't it?

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

761.655

Just progressively more messed up. Yeah, you guys are, you know, I can see how you could get that wrong, but actually the main villain was Foreskin Frank.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

7648.373

I was going to say, then we get the very infamous photo.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

7653.857

It's probably just as infamous as a couple, like the Russian sleep experiment, the Jeff the Killer. I feel like it's up there. It's got to be.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

776.889

Yeah. And at the end of the deal, the show was ran by Jeffrey Dahmer. That's the way it went in. I like to think that all the puppets are just foreskin references where it's just like, Jesus Christ. I bet you would, wouldn't you? Can you imagine people being like, okay, fine, never mind. No, Hunter. How would I imagine people being like, I was just going to say that wouldn't it be fucking crazy

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

7801.208

i just love how nonchalant the uh the things are the verbiage so anyways my husband my husband just drove his shit into a lake it's whatever drove his car to a lake that night while rushing our daughter to the hospital he did not survive

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

7960.704

Awesome! You know, I think there might've been just a little, a little bit of, sorry, a little.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

7992.679

yeah yeah like that's why they had so much acclaim at once it um you know they're just good story i mean like it's just something too where it's like uh to have to sit down like the to the the the discipline it takes to sit down and write a full length story is so hard. And it's like, it's, it's something too, that has to be so meticulously crafted and put together to where sometimes it sucks.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

800.472

Wouldn't it be the fucking craziest fucking thing if all the puppets were foreskin related? And then at the end, Isaiah... it turns out that all the puppets were made out of kids' foreskins. And it was a disgruntled man who was clipped when he was younger.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8019.041

Whenever you read something where you're like, yeah, this is a nice long story. You can tell someone, put their heart into it. And then it just doesn't land. It sucks because you're looking at it as like a piece of just free media that you're just like, this sucks.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8029.227

whatever but seeing something that you know these these like little blurbs or some guy probably just like was shitting his pants and just like writing something for 20 minutes he's like it gets uploaded you know it makes you appreciate the stuff where someone's like i had a full this idea i marked it down you know i did whatever uh to make this a full you know experience so i don't know all i'm saying is you know

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8052.697

Not that I'm not that I'm fatigued, but if I had to, I'm so glad that we're just doing this all now because it would suck to have to just get them out of the way. Just get them the fuck out of the way. This is what it used to be. Can we just end with who was phone? Can we just can we just call it? So let's just do who was phone. I think who was phone is the best way to end this.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8073.866

And if you don't mind, I would like to read this one.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8083.238

This is our last one today. One of the classics here. It's rated a healthy 6.33 out of 10. This is a famous one. So here we go. Okay. So basically it's like this. You're at a friend's house for like the night or whatever. And then you guys are making out on the couch. Yeah. And then like her dad calls on the phone and says, no, I, she likes it more if you use the other hand. Yeah. Yeah.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8105.456

And you're all like, oh, dude, your dad is trying to give me advice on how to diddle you. And then she's like, I don't have a dad or whatever. But what? Who was phone? Also, so you're with your honey and you're making out when the phone rings. You answer and the voice is, what are you doing with my daughter? You tell you're the girl and she say, my dad is dead. Then who was phone? That...

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8156.733

I love this. I love it. It's the, it, to me, this is the accumulation of everything we've read today.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8180.042

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Well, you know what? I think it was a, this was a, it's like walking through the baseball, uh, hall of fame or whatever. It's like the, it's like walking through like the, the, you know, it's the, the walk of fame in Hollywood, whatever with less homeless people and shit. This is a, uh, it was nice going through.

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Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8198.921

And I, and I'll tell you what, I would say the majority of stuff we read today, you're like, ah, you know, You know, interesting, interesting ideas. It's also cool just to see stuff that starts like at such an influential stage. Like all these things were people, you know, millions of people probably read this shit.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8215.37

And it like sparked tons of people to just be like, I want to make a Mickey Mouse horse egg. Or I want to, you know, I want to try to find them in Minecraft or all that kind of stuff is, I think, pretty cool how moving these little stories were.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8237.256

Well, you know what? Listen, it does not fall. I appreciate everything we read here. I think that if anything, we need to tell our little viewers here that guess what, dude? We give them prime rib. We're serving them prime rib, dude. We do. Spoiled rotten.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

825.857

And then you get the classic pedophilia kind of angle that all these things have. Right? Yes. You've got to have that.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8261.862

I agree. Well, Isaiah, it's been a fun one guys. Thank you so much for listening to today. Be sure to, uh, you know, sign up or sorry, be sure to listen on Spotify and Apple podcasts, all the jazz, give us some nice ratings there. Uh, and until next time, we're going to have a nice fun one. Also I do, we, we, we, we really should do the channel zero creep TV thing. Creep TV is not gone.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8283.567

We're just trying to figure out what to do with it. We need, we still need to figure out, finish out marble Hornets. That will happen someday. Um, but yeah,

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

8313.711

So check out my merch before you get. I'm going to check out your merch and I'm going to buy your merch while you buy. Oh, that's so sweet. Thanks. I have new merch coming out too soon.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

835.061

stranger danger kind of thing exactly if the creepypasta doesn't have it then i feel like people got laughed off the internet yeah so somewhere in the list of like actual villains it's like oh pedophile pete like he's a yeah that's what i'm saying yeah they're all this they're all essentially the same character they're just made of different skin anyway i'm going i'm going back every puppet has a turtleneck

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

886.843

Mike Painter says, yeah, I think so. Remember his mouth didn't open and close. He just, his jaw just slid back and forth.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

898.432

And the skin taker didn't look at the girl, but the camera and said, to grind your skin. That would be a bit haunting, if I'm being honest, as a child.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

92.67

So buckle in. It's going to be, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

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Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

945.285

I don't think that was a dream. I remember that. I remember that was an episode.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

960.305

Maybe I manufactured the memory because you said that, but I swear to God, I remember seeing what you described. It just streamed. Oh God, yes. Little girl, Janice. I remember seeing her shake and the skin taker screaming through his gnashing teeth, his jaws careening so wildly. I thought it would come off its wire hinges. I turned it off and it was the last time I watched.

CreepCast

Reading Creepypasta Classics: The Rake, Candle Cove, Mr. Widemouth | Creep Cast

983.519

I read it to my brother and we didn't have the courage to turn it back on. I visited my mom today at the nursing home. I asked her about when I was little, in the early 70s, when I was eight or nine, and if she remembered a kid's show, Candle Cove. She said she was surprised I couldn't remember that, and I asked why.

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The Pigeons Around Here Aren't Real | Creep Cast

2143.611

Did you see more of those things?

CreepCast

The Pigeons Around Here Aren't Real | Creep Cast

3600.966

Optimus! Help me, please! Go with Christ, tractor. You're not going to make it this time.

CreepCast

I'm A Cop & I Keep Getting Called To The Same House | Creep Cast

211.283

Today's episode is sponsored by Fabletics. Cold season is here, and Fabletics just rolled out some new joggers and hoodies for the occasion. And whether it's for the gym, for leisure, or for style, Fabletics has your wardrobe covered. With a wide range of sizes from extra small to 4X, big and tall options, and soft, durable materials used throughout, Fabletics gear complements any activity.

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I'm A Cop & I Keep Getting Called To The Same House | Creep Cast

232.958

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I'm A Cop & I Keep Getting Called To The Same House | Creep Cast

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I'm A Cop & I Keep Getting Called To The Same House | Creep Cast

268.684

Thank you, Fabletics, for sponsoring this episode, and hey, let's get back to that episode.

CreepCast

I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

136.037

Thomas, that's what I'm here to tell you. Things aren't like you think they are.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

155.407

I can tell that you are trying to drive this into the realm of parody, and we're not there yet. Okay. All right. All right. I'm sorry. But that was kind of...

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

1785.92

The implications are heavy. That's pretty rough, dude.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

2106.685

You're the one who said you wear the leather dress. You're the one who said you wear the leather dress.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

3964.491

The eight year old had the blood poor. Yeah.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

3984.561

Yeah. If, if the eight year old's got to die, they got to die. But as long as it doesn't become some weird sex thing, whatever.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

4883.112

Man. Well, goddamn. What a crazy visual.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

5042.425

Gosh, Scott. God damn. Maybe that was not the time to talk about these things.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

507.051

I'm going, wow, I'm so funny. I'm so creative.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

521.611

I call Kayla and I'm like, sweetie, what's going on? She's like, I don't know, idiot. What's happening? I don't know, you fucking idiot. What do you think's happening? Oh, no!

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

5276.316

That is insane to be like, I know what will motivate him. I mean, he also shouldn't have asked it, but that doesn't justify whatever.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

635.806

Imagine being so stupid that everyone cries and they hate you. And I'm like, wow, Rod Sterling. Thanks, Rod. I can almost picture it.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

6556.728

This is brutal. Her expression softened a little. Her voice mimicking my hushed tone.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

6655.713

You're definitely getting butchered for this.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

7103.03

Like, I guess she was right to lie and say that he needed to kill a kid that she knew.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

7387.054

Uh, that is a giant flow chart. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah. This is how all the stories connect to each other.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

7509.485

Like they're just, they're like, no, no, no. The, the, the 14th spinoff show is good because it gives a connection between the fourth and eighth movies.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

7779

Yeah, it's like, hey, be nice to the girl.

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I Wrote Myself A Letter, I Got A Response | Creep Cast

7792.307

You made fake noises, you animal. Yeah, I know.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1008.186

How fast do you think until that guy gets fired? Until the teacher gets fired? He has a fifth grade teacher. Well, it seems like you kept phrasing it like you can't keep doing this to where it's like it's a fifth grade teacher and he's blaming the one Asian guy of selling Adderall to the There's no way that guy is staying. He gets a, it's a one and done. All right.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1032.99

Maybe you slip up one time, but you keep screaming pancakes at the kid with Tourette's in class and saying he has Adderall connections. You're, you're fired. You're like, go. I think you shrugged. You're like, what?

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

104.73

Castaway, Mental Illness, Murders, Serial Killers, Slashers, Sociopaths, Stabbings, Tiki Toby, Tiki Toby Anime, Tiki Toby Backstory, Tiki Toby Creepypasta, Tiki Toby Creepypasta Story, Tiki Toby Drawling, Tiki Toby Fan Art, Tiki Toby Full Story, Tiki Toby Castaway, Tiki Toby Origin Story, Tiki Toby Original Story, Tiki Toby Story, and... Toby Rogers. Incredible. It's unbelievable.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1164.17

This episode is sponsored by Turtle Beach Headphones. Lately, I've been replaying old games I used to love and been getting a lot of good nostalgia from that. And it made me think of Turtle Beach Headphones. At school, if you didn't have Turtle Beaches, you didn't have headphones. I recently made the switch and I picked up some of the Turtle Beaches and I was surprised by the quality.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1181.859

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1196.57

Throughout the long podcast, work calls, and on occasional all-nighters, Turtle Beach stays on, and they stay comfy. The Stealth 700 also has the industry's first-ever cross-play dual wireless system, allowing you to seamlessly switch between console and PC with just the touch of a button, which is pretty sick.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

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CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1350.172

He's your father, Toby. He's here because he wants to see you.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1369.72

He couldn't drive. Dude, wife of the year. Wife of the year. That's awesome. God damn it, Toby. We've said this before. He was drunk. He couldn't drive or else he would have been there. Yeah. When is he not?

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

137.962

Now, see, one thing that really stood out for me there, Isaiah, was Tiki Toby anime.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1397.059

Food on this table. Listen, he went out and had a fiver with his friends.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1424.298

Well, Mr. Hancock's been selling me Adderall for three weeks. And I'm laser focused right now. I'm locked in. Whatever you say, don't say that to your father. He's been drinking.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

152.632

You know, I think that there might be some cross-pollination there. I'm so excited to read Tiki Toby here. I feel like, you know, listen, I don't think that I'm, it's not a bear trap to say that this is going to be a Jeff, the killer kind of thing, but I want to see how does this stand on its own two feet? Cause this is such a high score.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1541.607

Yeah, this is where it picks back up, luckily.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1545.669

His son is Dickie Toby. The creepypasta universe all is connected. These little doorways.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1663.029

Yeah, he's still moody and stuff. No, no, no. He's on the front porch, but he's on a bench on the side of the house, and he's sitting like L from Death Note.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1684.382

That's who I see in my mind. That's how he's sitting. On the, on the guard, on the, on the bench.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1777.602

It's beautiful.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1790.137

It hits you like a freight train because he's sitting there. He's just like, also, I like how they're like, his room was small. Yeah, he had a drawer. He had a dresser and bed. Nice pictures of his family. Like, the room doesn't sound that bad.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

1801.782

And it's just like, he also remembers the time that his dad grabbed the root of his mom's hair and drove her face to the floorboards and beat her half to death. You're like, what? It's just insane. He's like, ah, but you know, he doesn't think about that all the time, but it does happen sometimes. Yeah.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

2102.136

Well, good morning, sleepyhead. You've been sleeping forever.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

2124.911

Are you all right?

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

2182.763

I also like how he touches his arm. I need to have him. He needs to be more like, don't touch me, boy! Way more aggressive.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

219.727

When looking this up, there was a lot of anime fan art. We can post some here. And there was also a lot of live action, like, like cosplay of this character. So I'm guessing just the infamous blood stained face with the glasses and the Justin Bieber hair and the hood.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

2207.373

Excuse me, I have to go back to the beer drinking factory. No, excuse me, I have to go to work. He pops open two tiny wines.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

2240.355

I wish I was braver. I wish I was a brave man. She's like, what the fuck are you talking about? You thought I'd kill you? I just wish I had spine, Connie. That's all. Sometimes I just wish I had spine.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

2346.336

Wait, hold the fuck on. Pause. Toby, before he could think, he would begin to chew on his hands, tearing the flesh from his fingers. He's already just eating his hands.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

235.837

So mysterious guy, right? Which we find this a lot of people get all soupy and goopy, leaving snail trails over their seats over these like bad boy murderers. We, we, we find that a lot in these stories. So I'm guessing Tiki Toby's going to fall into that, into that barometer.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

2425.833

Yeah, Connie. The fuck are you talking about? All right, well... He keeps screaming in the night saying that he sees ghosts and crickets and sharks. We should probably have him talk to somebody.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

2445.304

You've twisted my arm. Fine. We'll have him talk to a counselor.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

258.668

It's a classic and it needs to be documented on this channel.

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

2581.387

The way pediatricians work. Yeah, that's every pediatrician I've been to. Don't ever touch me. Ew! You're gross! You're gross! You're a little gross man! Ew! Call the police! Sorry, doctor. I bite my hand sometimes. Yeah! I have eyes! I can see!

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

2629.281

I need Vicodin and Hydrocodone. I'm 12. Okay. You're clearly a 46 year old man. Please go home. Actually, I can't sleep.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

270.755

Uh, if I would just check creepcast.store, I'm not sure if there is, we may have merch drops, even if this is later on way past our drop, we do have a merch store, creepcast.store. We have merch there. Uh, Our newest drop is happening right now. Hopefully still, I don't know. We're professional.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

2814.877

There are lights. There is no light in this room. Only cold lighting.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

2874.953

Even the idea of what I thought was... I mean, it makes more sense, but he was out of breath when he hit the ground and he began breathing heavily. It's like, I was out of breath and now I'm breathing heavily.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

289.656

But just know if you want to throw some garments on you, if you need something new for your closet, be sure to check it out. And also be sure to check us out on the audio platforms like Spotify and Apple Podcasts. It really does help and give us a nice little rating. But without further ado, let's jump into Tiki Toby.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

3029.483

He keeps being out of breath. He's short of breath.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

3033.166

Someone get Tiki Toby an inhaler.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

3043.113

He doesn't have Tourette's. He has fucking asthma. It's just like there's not enough oxygen going to his brain.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

3187.54

I like to think that he's doing idle animation, like the flowers doing idle animation, like it's a fucking cuphead boss. Yeah, it's like the daisy from Plants vs. Zombies.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

3228.497

The worst thing that he's done is just like, yeah, this place is dirty. Clean it up. He's like one of those guys. Completely undeserving of getting stabbed. We've heard from Toby, first off, that he was a drunk that

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

3245.086

didn't show up to his sister lyra who was dead dying in the hospital because he was drunk but then also we've heard that oh yeah he grabbed his mom by her hair and pushing the ground but all we've seen so far is that she's like you want me to make you a sandwich and he's like yeah and then he like walks over and touches his arm he's like don't touch me that's it you would think that you would think that he would like slap him he like he's like don't touch me boy hits him

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

3282.746

That's it, flower boy. That's it, flower bitch. You're going down.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

3896.101

And that is the end of Tiki Toby. You know what's weird about Tiki Toby, dude?

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

3915.689

It's probably just death then, right?

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

3928.486

I love it. Is it Slenderman? It's Slenderman, yes.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

3969.599

They're all, they're all kind of like, cause you know, as you, you,

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

3974.16

this thing is so old like i mean it's it's an older story 2015 10 years 10 plus years whatever the uh you get a lot of faceless stuff because of slender mans you know so you don't really count it up to it but it is funny because i was even with the tendrils i was like really tendrils but yeah because usually that that's a dead giveaway too that it's a slender man thing too because i was like oh is it just the grim reaper but no to have it actually be slender man is pretty funny

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4008.444

The story is extremely cruel, is it not?

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Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4019.006

There's no gravity. There's really... There's nothing there to... There's, like, nothing there to give... I mean, like the motivation is like, yes, he's bullied at school. I think that even Jeff the killer does a better job at like setting up a fucking hopeless whatever. But it's always funny that it's like innocent guys turn bad.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4037.675

And that's I think that's the that's where that's always that's where the sex appeal comes in with this stuff is that it's like, well, he had no choice.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4057.301

It's a, it's a, it's a movie, but that's the thing is like him going out and now even his victims. are people that deserve it, which to be fair, at least in this story, you'll, I think if Tiki Toby, this, at least in this story, Toby has a heart, at least like he's kind of, he's plagued by his sister's death, right?

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4074.657

Versus Jeff, the killer at the end, he just fucking kills his family for no reason. And Jeff the Killer at the ending is just like, why kill these people? That makes no sense. Yeah, you kill your dad who's drunk in a flower pot, and he's ordering his mom to make him fish sandwiches and stuff like that. Sure, you could be upset about that.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4091.339

But what I expected was him to be like, oh, he's possessed, right? So he kills the dad, and I thought he was going to grab the hatchet and then cut up his mom and then burn the house down. I thought that's what was happening.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4125.078

This is one thing that I actually kind of love about this. If I can, if I can, I don't know, give this like, one thing I love is that there is an image of something that people, that young people online are super stoked about. And they're like obsessed. They're fucking, they're, you know, they're like, this is the coolest thing ever. He's hot, whatever else. Right.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4145.989

But then somebody goes and they write their own fan fiction of his origin story or like how he came to be wrapped in with another popular internet figure. Like it is a fucking Marvel movie, like an MCU collab or whatever. Yeah. And then that'd be so popular and it gets so popular that they're just like, yep, this is it. This is Canon. That's kind of sick. That's actually kind of cool.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

418.564

His eyes were dark. See, they're setting up here. And see, they're trying to do something. The author's doing something cute here. They're doing this. They're doing, you know what? Yeah, he looks kind of weird. But then they kind of, they don't ever really say like, oh, his almost pale, almost gray skin. It's just, it feels very anime, doesn't it?

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4203.47

a ton uh when did that when do you think that died do you think it just died with those people growing up i mean it just died naturally well i mean like you know people start talking about horror stuff on youtube more like there were different communities like reddit that became more popular than like yeah but you think that you would think that you would think that with those things expanding that it would like like i like my mind goes to does that not just make the roots stronger

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4334.313

That has to be people. Yeah. I mean, that's like the same shit that you get into like bronies and stuff or like other people. It's like, oh, a magical thing comes and like transforms me and I get to be a part of this world or whatever. This is also that's like the that's like the that's the no fun kid where it's just like, no, I have a bubble. You can't attack me.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4365.597

It's weird too. I'll tell you this. It's weird with these stories looking back at them and not having any historical context. Like to you, you were there when it was

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4376.351

at its peak in popularity or like when it was being shared around but in hindsight now it's kind of interesting because it's still so fascinating that you know that this was like such a crazy popular thing it's something so short and congested you know what i mean like it's it's it's very it's just kind of it's it's fucking cool that's one thing i love about the creepypasta like uh

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

438.931

Leaning against the cold window, looking out longingly, arms crossed, whatever. It's like, yeah, he's just not like the other guys. which was like crack for the average readers. I feel, I feel, yeah, I feel like they're, people are already daydreaming. They're already, you know, contemplate a complicated mother who, you know, this kid's a handful and I want him to be my, in my handful.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4395.498

culture is like really cringe stories just like moved people so much that also i'll tell you what there's gonna be it probably already is like i mean you saw it already with the person who made uh I saw the TV glow. That's kind of like a creepypasta-esque thing or, you know, we're all going to the World's Fair.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4412.949

That director's very, I think, inspired by internet horror story stuff back in the day. But I think you're going to see more and more of it show up. And you know what would be fucking sick is if you did, if someone got money, if we ever get tons and tons and tons of money to make an actual feature film, Isaiah, we should do Jeff the Killer versus Tiki Toby the same way they did Freddy versus Jason.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4435.097

Try to tell me that wouldn't be fucking awesome.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4452.017

Oh yeah. It's amazing. That'd be, that'd be so awesome. But then too, here's the thing. You get to do both of their origin stories and then they collide. Yeah.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4461.607

That's the idea.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4481.963

I think, um, I think Tiki Toby also is a more likable character. So you'd want him to win. Like that'd be the one him to win.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4544.543

There's such a huge difference between this and like the Jeff the Killer stuff that came afterwards. And it made me think like, you know, this thing is before those times of stuff, obviously. But, you know, it makes me think of like... Ted the Caver, that kind of stuff. I wonder what the difference is.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4563.891

What do you think the difference is between people who are getting into telling horror stories online before it started picking up? Do you think it's just the youthful... Do you think it's just the youthful tropes of what ended up becoming popular were just kind of more of that kind of schlocky... you know, a slender man kind of vibe.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4584.611

Or do you think that there was something else that, uh, like I guess earlier, earlier writers tapped into, does that make sense?

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4639.114

You can say respected work or whatever, but I guess more so people being like, I love the art of storytelling versus people being like, I want to be a part of an internet community is such an actually interesting take. Because it's so true. Because also, too, a lot of these stories are written of just like, yeah, this is what I think, and I want to post it and see what people think.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4658.312

But really, there's no... The innocence and the kind of ignorance that comes with that, to me, you get some of the most memorable stuff. It's just totally unfiltered, you know... of people who are just like, I just know it needs to be this.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4672.988

They put themselves in a box and they creatively make something, even though they're just like, I just want to post it on this website and see what people think. It's such a fun evolution of that storytelling process. And you still see it today, too. I mean, all that stuff, even in video format, everything. But there is just something so fun about these early...

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4692.441

stories man i am infinitely people who are listening to this and even you i'm infinitely jealous of people who got to grow up and be a part of this like weird culture and time and like just digging deeper because especially at this time it was uh people in

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4709.628

the internet's kind of infancy or at least young people online when the internet was still like blossoming and figuring itself out to where there was so much mysterious shit.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4717.851

Like it used to be that it was like, I felt like the internet was a time where it was ever expansing, like just like gold mines everywhere instead of being like, obviously just like shit heaps that it is now, but very, very interesting. Honestly, this was such a fun read today. Tiki Toby was way better than I expected.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4771.44

There are, you know, that's the, that's, that's the fucking, that's the way she goes though, dude. And that's the way it is. Anytime something big happens, you have to have, if there's not cringe fan art of it, then what is the, even really getting traction?

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4809.985

While he senses and giggles. Guys, thank you so much for, Jesus Christ, this image. The anime, the how to draw anime scholastic book art of that is phenomenal. Listen, I'm getting out of here. Guys, thank you so much for stopping by and reading some classics with us today. Be sure to check us out on Spotify and Apple podcast. If you have not yet, we appreciate it.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4834.954

And until next time, everyone, you have to click.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4843.818

It's Jeff and Toby kissing Slender.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

4847.161

Okay. I'm stopping my recording.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

52.967

I mean, this has to be a perfect story.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

529.151

We've had something like that, right? Never before had he felt himself get hurt. There's been another. Was that the Jeff the Killer thing?

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

560.213

He can't feel anything.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

567.497

He can't feel pain. He can't feel pain. But see, this is the part where also the people are like, but I can change him. But he can feel love, I bet.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

662.793

They throw in the homeschool thing because it's also not only is it like, well, people don't understand me, but it's people yearning to be like, God, I wish I was homeschooled. I wish you didn't have to go back to my school. You think it was one of those things?

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

678.717

I just have such a black sheep.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

698.845

You're Tiki Toby. So you have Tourette's and stuff too. I am broken pancakes, pancakes. Okay, we can't. We need to cut that. You got to cut that one. We have to cut the dredge take for it, actually. Hold on a second.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

717.967

pancakes, pancakes. Okay. I'm not going to do that. I'm done. No more. We have to get it out now.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

737.016

Stand right by me at the altar as I whisper pancakes into your ear. Not on this one.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

76.435

I would love to read the tags if I may. Yeah, go ahead. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it says this was written in March 2nd, 2015. Oh, 10 year, 10 year anniversary. Good for us. So this is these are the tags. It says deaths, murders and disappearances. Famous creepypasta slashers and gore. Arson are sins. Creepypasta classics. Crimes. Deaths.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

775.263

All right, kids, calm down.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

783.552

Yeah. Don't make fun of Toby and his pancakes. No, I'm not laughing at him. I just remembered a really funny joke. Please, kids. I'm like, I give a kid five bucks. Twitch more, Adam.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

810.475

That's drug money. I've seen him. He's selling Adderall in school. He should be kicked out. That's how he has all this extra cash. It's like the fifth grade.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

819.641

I'm like, give me the drugs. Yeah, go into his locker. Where is it?

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

832.527

I fucking planted four pounds of Adderall in his locker.

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

839.174

four pounds it's a lot four pounds i'm like oh really you don't know what it is where'd you get the hooch he's like i don't know what that is also if you're wait what grade we say fifth grade i said how old is the fifth grader i mean that that's not what the story said the story hasn't said how old he is i said fifth grade because the visual is accusing a fifth grader yeah that's fine i'm saying okay so the voice works then i don't know what that is yeah he's 10 okay he's 10 that's fine

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

894.62

I've met you six times. I'm like, oh,

CreepCast

Ticci Toby | Creep Cast

969.423

Yeah, you can't go into the special needs wing of the school and steal prescription papers from the kids. You just cannot do that. I didn't know I couldn't go in there.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1035.021

Should we reread that line too?

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1060.382

Her voice introduced me to a teenage virgin again.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1066.75

I saw visions and like my... Okay. Talk about premonitions. You're seeing something in your head. You're like, I just want to have sex so bad.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

112.656

Maybe another time. But this is written by April... Aproil.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1251.906

I like that nod. That's definitely a little nod to maybe a clientele or something that the restaurant is serving that feels a bit more exclusive or hidden. The way that this is set up is nice so far, I just wanted to say.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1301.919

oh dude it sets up some interesting stuff about the psychology there the narrator is definitely wanting deep fucking for sure he's fantasizing about okay all right all right all right all right That was probably an inappropriate way of saying that.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1348.215

What the fuck are we doing, man? He's just like, I was just half-stepping in it. You're like, no, I was up in there. I was rearranging them gutty works as much as I could, dude.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

135.722

app royal has also been picked up recently by velix books uh which velix has been pretty cool yeah we've we've worked we've read many velix published books and we've uh you know it's people that we've worked with uh to be able to read some of these stories so really happy that he's with a cool publishing company like that

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1359.645

There you go again with the description. I was like a fork with some spaghetti, dude. I was wrapping it all around.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1468.968

I'm just picturing nothing but like a Blade movie. Like whenever Blade goes in, it's like a Russian nightclub that looks like a castle or whatever. That's what I'm seeing with this restaurant.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1515.68

That'd be really funny. That'd be so funny. Password.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1541.003

I had six loaves of bread worth of breadsticks. Where's this on the bill? Oh, sir, they're free. Oh, my God.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1562.979

Ten minutes down the road, we're going to see the Coliseums.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1612.27

Hey, no, I haven't seen him.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1666.3

You gotta get your shit together right now, dude.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1670.163

That is what it says. Teenage virgins. And then you're like reaming out a bus boy.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1678.91

In the middle of me reaming out a bus boy.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1736.058

He yelped. You see the problem here, Martin? The quicker you do your job, the quicker this stupid tank of a unit is out of my way. You're clogging up the freeway!

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1797.341

Mark, I need you in my office. Shut those off and come see me. Uh, it's mid-dinner service, Silva. Can this wait till my break? It can't. Lana will cover for you.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1842.963

You've been doing a great job here, Mark. I know I'm not the most, you know, rah-rah type of owner, but believe me when I say this, I've taken notice.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1856.706

I'm in a pickle. We are short busboys tonight. I need you to cover. Uh, with all due respect, Silva, why would I do that? because I need you to, Mark. And to be honest, there's a chance at a promotion.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1878.177

I feel like I do it well. I'm not saying I don't want to help you out, but please don't spit on my face and tell me it's raining. I'm a waiter, not a busboy. The pay is nearly triple.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

191.835

Yeah, evil, evil family restaurant. You know, is this going to turn into something more like if, you know, the Glenmont retro thing or Metro where it starts off with or I mean, Dionysus house, whatever, where someone just walks into a restaurant gets their head blown off or is it going to turn into like a, you know, five nights at Freddy kind of meme?

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1923.174

I need you out there, Mark. Like yesterday. He got up and made his way to the door. If you do well, the position is permanently yours. Do I really have a choice?

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

1981.428

Who taught you how to work a knife? You leave the skin on this fugu again, and I'll rip your apron off myself!

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2077.033

Oh shit, what do you think this is, Mark? A six-figure dishwashing job?

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

209.773

You know, it kind of, it has like a weird, it could go either way. And I'm excited to see.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2094.635

Listen, this might not be good for you. I get it. It ain't for everybody. But listen to me, and listen good. Silva doesn't just let you out. I didn't ask for any of this. I'm just a waiter. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. Silva keeps the waste ass off. I'll be damned. Let me out. Listen. You're part of the Azalea family.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2115.356

You've just been given a seat at the big boy table and families, they have secrets. He's off the door. Go ahead. Get some fresh air or prep this room and you can meet me at the front of the next one. Or you can meet me at front. Oh my fuck.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

222.94

Is Dionysus not the one where it begins with the...

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2223.096

End of part one. Very good. You know what I like about this story so far? This is great. This is so fun. What I like about this story so far is it sets up a nice... Sets up the restaurant well. Sets up the dynamics of the characters well. We're entering in this, the unfamiliar territory, you know, the act two in the story where we still don't know really what they're doing.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2244.883

I like that the idea, you know, my mind immediately goes to they're cooking people, but it could also just be a guy where Silva is a guy who is, maybe he's like a person that, you know, works for some other person that disposes bodies or, you know, who knows. Yeah.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

228.063

It is, but you started with the Glenmont Metro. Well, because, yeah, I thought it was that one at first. But no, I quickly caught myself because that's the kind of bear trap my mind is. It's how fucking ironclad it is, right? It's a bear trap with an eight-second delay timer.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2315.394

You know, that's the. That's like the interesting things in these stories is whenever you have the catalyst, whenever a character is approached in a situation that like really thrust the story forward into the trajectory that we're going, you need to have something that's compelling. And I think that there's nothing more compelling than sex.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2334.58

There's nothing more primal than people who are motivated and moved by sexual desire, basically. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So, of course, he's going to do something stupid. I mean, the way that the first part of the story does it so well is that it really kind of almost makes you idolize her as well. He talks about her in a way that is so fantastic. It's nothing but just like...

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2380.785

Yeah, exactly. A bite to eat, which also I do think that's a tongue in cheek thing where we're going to find out that like, yeah, that they're fucking cooking people or something is, is, is where I'm, they might, they certainly might be.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2407.991

So was it the whole family, or was it just the husband?

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2422.33

So she rules. All right, just making sure. She's really cool. Wow.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2488.253

I feel sick. First day of Busted tends to do that to people.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

250.224

A quarter of a millisecond before your heel even touches the metal activation lever on the bear trap, it fucking grabs you. That's the steel bear trap that my mind is.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2501.264

Please, let me go back to serving. I won't say anything, I promise. Finish up your shift and we'll chat.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2518.977

Hand it over before we go inside. He'll get it back after your shift. No way. It's my personal property. I need it.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2531.942

Also, I would not say this is my personal property. I don't think that's going to sway Silva in the situation.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2543.45

I respect that. Stand your ground.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2549.414

That's what I always liked about you, Mark. You're a MGTOW man through and through.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2645.147

Drink crowd. Oh, this one was a real lightweight.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2649.6

I asked out of morbid curiosity. He took a whiff. Some sort of fruity Pinot Noir. Probably a mix of elderberry. How do you know that? You ever talk to James or Elsa?

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2667.013

Well, if you weren't so stuck up, you'd know.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2672.584

The dinner crowd wants the experience. The slow burn, the level of poison that could take hours to set in. With some exceptions, of course. He cleared the glasses off the table and chucked them into one of the plastic bins. The drink crowd? Now they're looking for something different.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

268.554

Well, actually, see, it saw the heel coming, and it said, oh, hey, I remember Glenmont Metro. I'm just kidding, and it switched it up. Because I think that it was bringing something in like a prey, you know, like a predator to a prey, and then it sees the kill right there. It doesn't matter, dude. I don't have to fucking justify my brain to you, all right?

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2685.956

want the death to be quick and dirty instant with minimal suffering he lifted the lady's head up from the table and examined her face her thick layer of makeup and mascara had left a stain on the white tablecloth at least that's what i'm told i can tell you what she died from but based on the turnaround here i mean it was quick i wondered how many bodies dwayne had seen over the years help me grab her and don't even think about out this time or i'll let silva know

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2712.096

We need this room cleared. The next group is coming in ASAP.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2740.435

Close the door and lock the panel shut. After a while, it just becomes another job. You'll get used to it. You'll see. Start pushing the metal cart towards the door. These people have families, Dwayne. What we're doing here is criminal. Aw, dude, shut the fuck up, Mark.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2770.915

Let me tell you. The things that he is saying, they are correct. But him saying these things out loud, you're like, I almost want to stuff him into a fucking locker.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2814.923

I think you're onto the right thing, but I don't think he's trying to talk himself out of it. I think he's trying to have other people talk him out of it. I think is what he's doing.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2823.33

I think he's looking for someone to validate this feeling of being like, you know what, you're right. We should just stop. But instead, everyone's just basically confirming this almost like confirmation bias or something.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2846.752

That's what I'm saying is I think he's trying to, it's like almost like a narcissistic thing where it's like, yes, pretending to be human, you know, like, come on guys, this is wrong, right? We definitely shouldn't be doing this. It's like fucking young Sheldon. What we're doing here is criminal. It's like, fuck off Mark. God damn.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

288.9

All I know is that, as always, be sure to support the author, and as well... Check us out on audio platforms, Apple Podcasts, Spotify. Go there right now. Give us a five-star rating. Fucking listen to our show there, dude. It helps, all right? Maybe AP Royal, maybe listen to this on Spotify, dude.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2893.317

Good God, boys. Hell yeah.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2908.045

Thank God her body's so petite and tiny. She just slides right in. Hunter immediately. Yeah. I'm like, great. Sounds good. They're like, wow, you're really taking to this faster than anyone has before. Yeah, I know. I love my job. I'm a workhorse. You're going to call me Seabiscuit by the end of the day. All right?

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2933.422

Would you just stop doing the food euthanisms and just get back to work? Yeah, there's a couple of baked potatoes in room four.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2949.505

You actually have to quit.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

2982.636

Dwayne shrugged. You're overthinking this, Mark. He motioned for me to get the door. These people had a target on their back. Focus on your job and you'll be fine. We're just simply disposing of the mess that someone else has made.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

310.175

If you're watching this right now, consider hopping your happy ass over to Spotify and listen to it there. You're talking to the author right now? Yeah. That seems kind of a little forward. See, that's the bear trap coming out.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

329.706

I'm just saying. It's a suggestion.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3298.203

The position's just not for me. Well, I'm disappointed to say the least. He went quiet, pacing around the room.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3325.524

Of course. I trust as always that this stays inside the Azalea family.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3503.034

I really like the idea of the setup.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3505.836

I really like the setup of a... First off, we need Azalea's Cookhouse merch immediately. I want like a shitty... You know how like... I don't know, like there's like Hooters shirts and stuff.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3553.575

Basically a hitman's place where you can bring your family. You basically order that

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3558.757

whatever uh and they dispose of the body and also something to the private room so they basically people die in the room other people get up leave and it's all cleaned up the only thing that my mind was thinking though is i feel like with all the people dying uh i feel like the reoccurrence of being i guess unless people lied about their stories of where they were at would probably be

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3578.956

the only way where that way the cops would be like, wow, the last 20 fucking murders that have happened, have everyone's been to this restaurant that night, you know? So you'd probably just, people would probably just be lying. But I mean, once again, it breaks the immersion of the fun of the story.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3593.77

I'm just, that was where my mind went, but I do like the idea of the bounty hunter restaurant though.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3626.529

You could also probably assume too that they have the cops paid off or whatever.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3648.115

We're halfway through. I mean, I don't know. You never know. There's a lot of story left.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3662.301

But does that also not give him another angle to... you know, well, my hands are tied. I have to, even though it's not, I mean, I listen, I, you're right. You're right. That could be another excuse, but I agree that I think that based off of his response and stuff, at least from the text, it's more so he's legitimately afraid.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3680.482

And, you know, it's a weird, weird world, but I'm wondering now as we dive into part three, which is called the neighborhood, I'm wondering, does he start acclimating to it or, you know, how much of a resistance does he put up to what, you know, To this new operation, this new lifestyle he's going to have to live.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

371.328

Well... I found redemption with them. That's the fucking premonition, dude. I told you. Even I didn't. See, that's the thing about the bear trap, dude. Let me finish. The bear trap, sometimes I can't even see through the fucking fog of my own power because I was like... I was like, is this guy British? There's something about this that makes it British.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

391.265

And then sure enough, we're on the fucking Queen Elizabeth liner there, dude.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3913.63

Oh, I always knew that Keith was trouble, coming home all hours of the night with that obnoxiously loud exhaust.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3924.54

You know, I've seen him with another gal, a dark-haired girl, a trashy thing with tattoos.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3946.913

Goddamn, Debbie. Debbie's just me. She's probably smacking her around. Good God, Debbie.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

3987.978

He's got a temper on him. That's all. I seen him toss rocks at poor Romeo when he was barking. He thought I wasn't looking, but I was.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4005.725

I've got to grab the mail, Deb.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

403.127

Sometimes the power is so, just so hidden in the fogs of my mind, of these bear traps that I myself step into the bear trap as well.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4124.311

Like you said. It's like a video. Once she arrived, she gave me a hug and grabbed me in the seat. Because they're at a bar, right? Yeah. Yeah. So the VLTs is the shot. The only reason I know VLTs as well as because of a trailer park.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4142.218

No, I'm video lottery terminal.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4314.735

She is a black widow. She's going to eat you next. Oh, here she comes. Watch out, boy. She'll chew you up. She'll chew you up. She's a man eater. Watching and waiting. I love that song.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4331.369

We definitely sang some Hall & Oates for sure.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

434.225

feel anything let me think i think that it's probably going to be i would say an american but i'm going to say that we're probably going to spend the majority of our time talking about like a restaurant probably some kind of you know family these are inferences the ones

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4508.336

Why are you following me, you psycho? Who the hell are you? And what are you doing with Paulina? Oh, hell yeah, dude. Do not just tell me. Do not tell me that we're getting in on some girl-on-girl action, y'all.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4521.467

No, calm down. No, no, no, no, no, no. I think the colonel just came in. Did the colonel come in?

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4544.805

I'm sorry that maybe Paulina, our queen, our hero, and then all of a sudden, a fucking girl with a dragon tattoo, curly girl comes up. She's just like, you moving in? You know what I mean? Now we got a love triangle, dude.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

457.091

See, this is the premonition. I think that even that we're going to sit there and then we're going to have a point where I'm just going to randomly think if there's going to be somebody who's like, sorry, ma'am, that's not a problem. And for how many? And then they're like, oh, four, please. Are you scrolling down?

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4590.7

You know what? I, I probably, I probably, I probably jumped the gun.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4615.401

but that is an interesting twist the woman that was coming was not for him it was for her or no you know what it is isn't that the that's the fucking woman that uh his that keith was banging

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4640.481

So, yeah, the little Chinese finger trap deal. I get it.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4661.553

I'm like, I'm fucking like, so.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4674.558

It's a fog. It's something you see so far ahead.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4716.185

This is what my wife is. How could I resist you? That's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

472.284

In less than a minute, it was confirmed. She was scheduled for tomorrow at 7 p.m. These are just things that are kind of coming to my mind. Her voice had reduced me to a teenager again. Visions of her watering her flowers and walking her dog occupied my mind for the rest of the evening. Wow, that was powerful. That was actually powerful how that came to be. Let's just dive in!

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4770.757

I'm thinking, I'm thinking so the supper, this is the final part for the final. I'm excited.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4780.6

Dude, fucking maybe. I'm still, don't let, can a man dream? Can a man fucking dream? This is the first time that we've ever had a love triangle here with a girl with a dragon tattoo. Beautiful, oh, beautiful Paulina.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4799.371

Well, you know what? A little bear claw action here, dude. Two sweeties wrapped up, dude.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4809.994

See, that's my bear trap working again. I said bear claw. A little twisted donut. Two sweeties wrapped up, man. What is a bear claw? I haven't heard that expression before. What?

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4825.117

Yeah. Yeah. You look at a bear claw, it's a donut that looks like a bear paw. Okay. What does that have to do? They're tied up there. It's a bear claw. I don't have to fight. I'm saying there are two Swedes wrapped up in love here. I'm just saying that it was bear claw inside the bear trap. I'm calling it. I'm still keeping it there. I think my bear claw has not done me wrong yet.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4850.369

Called the British thing last episode. Calling this one here too. I'm telling you, man. Better watch out. The one thing I would not do right now is bet against the bear trap. That's all I'm saying. Part four.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4884.289

Can we relax for a second? I'm just a neighbor, Mark. I mean, that's it. Well, you two sure look like cozy neighbors. Okay.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4900.878

Call the cops and go on. Is going to the bar a crime? You'll do nothing but look crazy.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

492.753

All right, I don't have to prove myself.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4923.919

And if you're stupid enough to be with her, she will do the same to you.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

4935.826

Reverse psychology. You know what? At the end, when Polly is smiling, and the tatted woman here walks in a frame, don't be surprised when you hear the clasp of a bear trap. That's all I've got to say. Okay.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5112.893

You have a good weekend, Mark? Ready for some more training? This time I won't go easy. Sorry, Dwayne. I said while taking off my shoes. I told you that shift ain't for me. I'm back to serving today. Well, that's news to me. Siva told me I was training you this evening. Well, he must have forgotten. I discussed this with him on Friday. Dwayne shrugged. Either way, it doesn't matter to me.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5140.228

Just let me know what he says before the rush starts.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5159.832

You'll see Paulina and Areola show up. Love that cover. I think her name's Viola. Viola, whatever the fuck her name is.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5178.434

No, I know. That's the joke, but he's calling her Areola.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5185.435

Is that viola areola? I don't give a fuck what it is. I ain't looking at no viola. I'm looking for that areola. I'll tell you what it is. Cold down in this basement.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5236.653

She's a man eater. Just irredeemable.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5320.621

No, just me. Worked all weekend too. So freaking sick of this place. I pointed to the phone behind the podium. She replied. Oh my god, wow. Didn't even notice that.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5394.4

When did you call that out? Called it right before I said, well, she's dead. Remember? Boom. Hit the three. Hit the three.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

54.227

welcome back to creepcast today we are reading the story is it azaleas azaleas azaleas i would say azaleas cookhouse is a family restaurant but please don't bring your family aka this is a cc's pizza this is a buffalo wild wings this is a 54 street grill Um, and I'm very excited.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5407.007

As soon as Areola comes in at the end, stands next to Paulina, that's when you have to admit the bear trap's real. If that happens, the bear trap's real.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5464.21

What's going on? I don't know. You just told me to sweep the halls and find any stragglers. I think you're the last one.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5534.225

I'm okay. Wine or liqueur? Come on! We're celebrating! What voice are you doing? I don't know. I was trying to do like a French thing, but it's not really working.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5604.251

Okay, well, first off, I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Sergio. I'm one of the main investors in Azalea's.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5615.045

The success of this restaurant has not been lost on myself or any of the other investors. We're incredibly proud of what this restaurant has accomplished. And that starts with each and every one of you. Raise your glass. I propose a toast. The staff that makes this place special, from the cooking staff to the servers, the hostesses to the busboys.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5635.558

You are all an integral part of this family, and we need to do a better part of showing our gratitude.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5701.677

Tonight, we celebrate our employees. Dinner service has been canceled. And don't worry, taxi services will be provided to those who will need it. The roar from the room was deafening. Before we start the festivities, there's one more exciting announcement.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5719.783

We'll be reopening at a new location, a much bigger venue.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5732.86

Azalea's needs each and every one of you.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

5955

You dumb son of a bitch.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

612.935

Just want to make sure. Cause I'd hate to go through and, you know, give another captain price kind of like, as a list, how can I help you? And then it's like, I'm a 16 year old girl from Minnesota. And I'm like, I think, I think if that happens, it would be better. I'm not catching that. So I don't know.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6141.16

Yeah, I think it's one of those things where they've turned their profit at this place. Now they're just going to start up a new operation somewhere else.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6355.568

And that is the end of Azaleas. I got to say, I love that. Azalea's cook house is a family restaurant. The family always, uh, the family always comes first.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6374.99

Yeah. I will say very excited. First off his, the book that comes out this year, you said it's called kaleidoscope, right?

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6385.614

I'm definitely, we're definitely going to, whenever it gets released, we should definitely let you all know, but that'll be one I'm picking up.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6410.103

Yeah, it was a lot of fun. I think that the only criticisms I had were one, the tattooed woman and Paulina not being together, I think was kind of a missed opportunity that that's kind of a bummer for everybody. I think, no, no, I'm going to speak for everybody. I think everyone was kind of like let out a kind of, I don't know, disappointed sigh.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6427.978

But I will say, I think the ending, it kind of felt like it was one of those. It felt like it was a conclusion to a story where it was just kind of like, I'm done. Like, I'm just kind of I'm done with the story.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6485.143

Yeah, I mean, it's a confessional, but I don't know. I mean, like, once again, it's it is what it is. I mean, this is a store we have. I'd be curious to see a version of this where it's like, you know, if you had this Paulina thing, it'd be kind of interesting if a guy found out that the restaurant that he's working at.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6502.486

is a place where people come to kill people he finds that out right he's still obsessed with his neighbor who has a family whatever and if that if the waiter would have put in the order to have the family killed or whatever and then she i don't know rejects him and then it's this way where he's like bought more into the system or something like that or like you

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6519.497

know he becomes more adapted to it like just a weird kind of character arc I guess would have been just something interesting food for thought you know it is what it is what I mean this that's not the reality we're living in so it doesn't matter but just a little thought I had but all in all had a lot of fun with this I'm glad to it wasn't like a I don't know.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6537.594

It kind of reminded me of the Midnight Meat Train a little bit. It's just a very fun, weird premise. Obviously, Midnight Meat Train takes this fucking crazy route at the end, but this is still... I just kind of like how grounded it was.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6590.541

I think, I think the Paulina thing, I think that could have been seen through a little bit more. Like, I think it would have been interesting if. they get together, whatever he knows what's going on. And he still pursues this woman, whatever. And that ends up getting her killed. And that's also what sets things up. You know what I mean? Her being able to just kind of get away or do whatever.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6608.228

I don't know. I wish that there was more clarity or just more of like making her such an integral part. Cause he's just so obsessed with her. So extremely obsessed with her the whole time to where, you know, maybe he's like, I'll take it to the grave or like he finds this out and he's like, well, you know, she, she's complaining to him about her husband and, I don't know.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6625.053

Just different ways you could have played with it. Once again, not the reality we're living in. Doesn't matter. But had a lot of fun with this story.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6658.912

There's going to be a lot of people saying that they wish that this was like a movie or something. Oh, yeah.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6665.836

Yeah. I mean, it's just one of those.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6674.527

Almost like White Lotus or something. Like a season of a show.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6677.29

One restaurant and then the next season is like a different restaurant. They open up. That kind of thing would be kind of sick. No, the Kaleidoscope coming out later this year, guys. We'll let you know. Be sure to see, you know, just be sure to check out AP Royal. Great writing. We appreciate you guys so much. And also to all the audio listeners listening right now on Spotify. We appreciate you.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6695.873

And if you were watching on YouTube, please do consider going there on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, listening and giving us a nice rating. It really does help us out. So until next time, everyone, don't be eating at Azalea's. Or if you find Paulina, hit me up. Let me know.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

6713.846

There will be a redemption moment again. The bear trap always gets it always gets its victim. Goodbye.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

726.681

I recognized the silky voice right away. Should it be like, hello? I'd like to make a reservation for Friday evening.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

811.872

Wow. Holy shit. Oh, wow. That is... Dude, I... I am scary at times. I bet I could get psychic pebbles to do this podcast with me. Dude, don't even plant that seed in people's minds because they will want me out immediately. They will want me off of the show immediately.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

851.809

I could sell you cheap too. My stock is very low, Isaiah. You have to, you need to, this meme is going to start a literal riot for change. You're going to see another change.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

89.758

Yeah, no, no, no. It's a family. It's a family restaurant. Please don't bring your family there. Why?

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

899.39

Listen, man. I'm glad. You know what? I love that we sat here. We're two men aboard the Titanic taking out our tiny violins and playing because I see a lot of hurtful stuff too that makes me fucking borderline cry. Really? Yeah. All the time. All right. What kind of stuff? I don't want to go into it because it's only going to... When we say these things, it only gives them fuel, Isaiah.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

977.436

Yeah, it's a 17-year-old German kid. You're just like, your entire existence was wrapped up in this kid. He's like, gut. Bad. Gut für dich.

CreepCast

Azalea's Cookhouse Is A Family Restaurant

98.702

Because it's an evil, evil place. It's a tempting, evil place. And I just don't care for it. Did something happen to you in the CCs? I don't want to go into my CCs debacle.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1019.764

Yeah. Well, I think – I just think that there's not a lot of fat around to it. Exactly, yeah. It's just sort of the point. The use of numbers and I think the idea to – what really elevates this is you could do this as well and have it be creepy if you could see, but having it be blind is – now even we, the audience, are left to imagine –

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1043.777

What is like, what is happening to the house around them to have it, you know, just magically these stairs keep adding or, you know, decreasing in, in number. And it's, it's, it's just a lot of fun. And to just the subtle element of like, not really emphasizing too much on what's in there with this person. Something's in there with them. It's just creepy.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1091.838

The do you think that this author is blind? Do we have any evidence for that?

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

111.553

Welcome back to Creepcast. Today we have an unbelievably spooky story called I'm Blind. I'm not sure how many steps my staircase has. God, that would suck. I just kind of hit the title. Oh my God. I'm blind. I'm not sure how many steps my staircase has. That's got to be a predicament for every blind person, right? Or do you think they count them?

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1110.194

Yeah. Well, I mean, just because you're blind doesn't mean everything has to be.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1113.891

about being blind but just just curious just because it was so well spoken to i really like the idea too of uh people say that her writing is rich because she doesn't say the apple's red it's you know like more of the taste and feel of something just little little things that i mean we were kind of talking about you just you really take for granted your eyesight yeah and stuff you know i think like you you really reject a lot of the other senses because of that so

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1139.656

Yeah, I don't know. It's a lot of fun. That was a really quick one too. So I'm curious to see if the other parts are as, you know, are they as condensed? Does she start getting longer with her writing? Going to be curious.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1158.618

Yeah, just a spooky little story is nice. Yeah.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1184.26

That was one thing, too, I forgot to say in the first part was... really liked the use of like the silence, like kind of really raising like the absolute, the nothingness from all your other senses would make you so scared versus being like in the dark and not being able to see anything.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1201.455

Imagine being in a place where you're descending these steps and like, all you can hear is just the sound of your feet on the floor, you know, like no cars.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1324.715

Are you sure? Yes. And the staircase kept creaking. Right now, I've locked myself into the bedroom, but I think it's waiting on the other side of the door. Fuck.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1349.347

Didn't I give you one? You did? weird having a key to your house for fox sakes whatever just come i'll go downstairs again and let you in okay stay safe yeah whatever after that so here that silence do you think that something inter like it feels like something was interjecting into that conversation right a complete tonal shift am i wrong

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1412.376

I think... The whole idea of like being, you're waking up at 60 and they're like, ah, it's kind of early at six. She's kind of groggy. And then she's like, I think someone's in my house. I feel like you would, you'd be like, what, what the fuck? That's weird. Like, I think she was giving off normal vibes.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1426.242

And then even when she's like, well, I'll just call in and say, I'm going to be late and I'll swing by. Like it's very receptive. And then all of a sudden you have a key. No, it's like very short answer before it was very ever flowing. So I don't know.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1443.573

No matter what, one thing's for certain is that chocolate milk has worked. I mean, like, I am having to hold everything in right now. Go ahead.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1453.401

No, I want to see. I'm kind of hooked right now.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1464.954

If I had a violent diarrhea in my pants, I would show the audience. I would show you the back of my legs and everything. Okay. But I want to, I want to know what happens.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1481.323

I'll switch to mobile and I'll, I'll record that way.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

149.293

I'm just kidding. No, the, uh, no, the, uh, this is, this is an interesting, I was really caught by two things with this. The title is creepy because it alludes to like, oh, uh, there's more stairs than there was last time, or there's fewer stairs than there was last time. I think it's good. And then, uh, I like that the, the author's username is Emma Watson, but dumber. I enjoyed that as well.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1610.08

Hi, oh god, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I'm ready to call 911, dialed up and everything.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1627.679

Please take a look. Tell me if you notice anything unusual, Linda. I stepped into something sticky in the living room.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1662.953

Bro. if someone has just been living in her house, someone, not only has someone been living in your house, but they were like basically doing some kind of like fucking ritual or something. And then they're trash in the place.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1739.147

How neat. Oh, the usual. Bed made, things in order. My bed is made? Yeah. Oh. I didn't make it. Oh, God. Oh, gosh.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1778.675

Yeah, you said no one was there. No one. Call the police. I heard her getting downstairs. Look, I can't. Why not? Someone's definitely fucking around my house. and tell them what? that someone made your bed? placed your pan on the floor? no signs of forced entry? you didn't get hurt? I bumped into something in the middle of the night? in the dark?

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1801.976

how unusual okay well someone was definitely there look there's not much I can do I've checked everything you're pretty safe you have no attic no basement no back door windows locked doors locked you're good I'll help you clean up and I'll get going if there's anything weird call me Okay.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1827.122

How many steps does my staircase have? What? Count them for me. Um... 14 as usual? Okay.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1854.887

Yeah, it seems a bit odd because it's like, well, that doesn't really matter, but I'm still under the impression, I don't know, the sister character, it just seems like it's not, well, I'm making leaps and bounds, but I'm like, it just seems odd.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1901.315

I also feel like painting off the wall and like the living room situation was a bit odd.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1965.689

And to be fair... she was just going back and forth. Like you could, you could make an argument for herself of being like, I mean, I was counting my steps and it was crazy. Who knows? Maybe I just like had a weird, you know what I mean?

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

1984.973

I would be like, okay, that's what I mean though, is maybe she's like, maybe I did have like a fucking weird mental. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2047.535

Stupid fucking air conditioner. I'm going to turn it off and on. Wrong problems require modern solutions.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2095.809

Oh, wait, when did she say she felt it while she was on the couch? Yeah. It was just behind her breathing right behind her.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2133.664

Yeah, I mean, there's that great movie called Hush. I think it's about a blind woman in the house. I don't know. I would assume just somebody watching you. No, Hush is a deaf woman. Oh, deaf woman. Oh, okay. Yeah, that movie rules too.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2149.035

But yeah, no, I think it's just the idea of someone being in your house and you just don't know because you're missing one of your senses and it just leaves you a little more vulnerable. Mm-hmm.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2177.596

Like I know people who are super susceptible to just like home invasion stories and stuff. Very real weird thing.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2345.275

You know what? It's one of those things where I feel like it's kind of bubbled back up in my gutty works, so I think I'm okay.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2373.494

Why would you still stay there? Why were you so calm?

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2404.683

I think also it's just... It's hard to just be like, oh, get up and move, leave. But then also, too, I think that earlier in the story, it does a good job. I even I think that she may be rationalizing that it's like I think that she believes she is in there with something now. But we have seen a back and forth with like questioning some of her actions or decisions or like even her own.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

241.684

I think from what we saw here, there's four parts we're going to be reading today and there's more parts on her coffee. So if you like it, support the author. go participate in the coffee, indulge more into other art, you know, it just nothing but support them and help them create more and more cool shit.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2427.898

Like, you know, can she trust herself as a narrator kind of thing?

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2515.664

Or I imagine, I just imagine that she just got a lift or something for me, like someone else at her job.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2602.675

Okay, let's see. So we're looking into today, right? Yeah. I'll just download the last 12 hours. That should be enough. Or the last 6? Just do 12. Fine.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2618.052

there it is hmm fast forward nothing unusual house empty here you are coming home from work you're taking your coat off shoes keys upstairs nothing there fast forward here you are again back down open the fridge he fell silent for a while at first I figured he wasn't seeing anything so he got tired of narrating what I was doing

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2655.2

So, what do you see? Are you fucking with me or what? Look, I'm really not in the mood, so please tell me if you're fucking with me. What did you see? Let's just go to my car. I'll take your laptop with us and phone. And I'll download some more footage. And you'll be spending the night with me. Why? I'll tell you. I will. Let's just go. Bro. Oh, fuck. Goddamn, he's a girl into it. Good lord, dude.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2716.206

What did you see? Just tell me. You're freaking me out. I'm really sorry for you and what you've had to go through. That is some paranormal activity shit. Please. What did you see?! Okay, I'm... So, you opened the fridge, took out some stuff, then started preparing dinner. I saw some movement upstairs, so, like, in the corner of the screen. Then, uh... This... Fuck, I don't know.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2741.846

I don't know how to explain it. It was a... It was a thing! It was like... It was so fucking creepy. It looked like a... It looked like you, but...

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2748.07

but not really because it was longer arms and legs and had a very bony face wearing some clothes i assume yours so was human no i i don't think so it's his arms bent so weirdly and it was taller than you and and it walked what the it walked so strange and acted so strange and it had this hair thin and falling off and the face face yeah its eyes were really big but

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2785.994

This is going to sound crazy, but I think it was mimicking you. It literally watched you nonstop and the shit that freaks me out the most is that it was in front of you the whole time. while you cut the vegetables, while you ate, while you were watching TV, studying you, poorly mimicking what you were doing. Then you fell asleep. Yeah?

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2817.143

Its face literally sat like two inches from yours for a while. Just stared until you woke up, then walked, I don't know if I can call it walked upstairs, but... Wow.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2842.876

Just a giant you spider. Also, just so weird too, like wearing your clothes. It just like wants to be you.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2869.207

For fuck's sakes. What? Will? I swear to God. It's been watching you non-stop. Like, I've downloaded the footage since the cameras were set up. So, there's two months to go and it's here. All the time. Sometimes it climbs up to the corner of your wall or on the ceiling and watches. Other times it shadows you.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2911.54

I think the hairs is not its own. What? I think it got it from somewhere. Like, I think it's been picking at your hair while you're sleeping. It's trying to become human to become you. Oh, God.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2937.36

There's going to be some gangly giraffe bastard in your bathroom picking out all the hair from your fucking drain.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

2959.41

Even the moments when you're not there, it takes your things, tries them out. It looks fucking terrifying. It is literally learning, studying you.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3000.249

Look, if you don't groove through that portal stuff, they'll probably just kill you and take your place. I think the next time you return home, you will have figured that out.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3014.265

Yeah. So basically he's just saying, if you go back, you're going to die a hundred percent.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3029.964

Can you do it? I am so stoked. I can't wait to have a diarrhea after this.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3044.794

Yeah, he's like taking all of his sour milk and drinking it profusely. And he's just like, oh, up in the corner. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, Mike. First time, bud. Oh, yeah.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3071.931

My fucking pussy. Drink it. Alright, last public part. I'm stoked. If you guys haven't noticed yet, you should 100% sign up for this coffee and read more of this story.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

311.859

It would take a lot more for me to make that delineation.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3117.021

sells a strong word i would have has no one contacted the news yet yeah i mean is there a thing here i guess just it's like a well i mean we don't have to derelict the story too much but like would you just i mean could you even show this to the authorities or would it be just something where they're just like you should just burn the house down or like you know i mean

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3190.219

I am still like, you're assuming that there's one, right? You know, how do we know that? I didn't even think about that. I don't know. Way more. It could be like a nest of them. That's what I'm saying. It's like some weird fucking bug family. I don't know.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3212.908

Um, I think that like to like, I think it would be to go back and help somebody. Like if it's, if it's like, Oh, my wife's stuck in there or something. Yeah. You know, like that. Although I really don't know of earthly possessions where you would be like, I can't think of anything I own that would make me go back.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3240.421

God. It would be something where I'd be like, hey, Isaiah, you want to help me move something? And I'd be going, and I'd shut the door. I'd hear the rustling, and then I'd make a dead sprint for my beagle, and I would leave. My bass hound, and I'd leave.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3284.726

Well, it's a beautiful representation, so you should be happy.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3299.423

My asshole is like Alcatraz right now, and a few little prisoners are about to escape if you catch my ghost.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3350.646

What changes? Well, it took food out of your fridge. Your clothes are torn. I think it's even slept in your bed. It's not going to like you being back. That's funny. I'm going to assure that thing that I'm not saying.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3379.309

I'm going to assure that thing that I'm not staying. I'll leave soon enough and I'll be free to torment whoever comes here next. I fucking hate my life. Right? I hope you guys are reading the screen, because I'm like a nonsensical fucking schizophrenic right now reading this shit. God, I hate myself. I hate my fucking ape brain.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

341.516

Wow. I feel like I'm listening to Jodie Foster in Silence of the Lambs right now.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3476.141

Yeah, like that, wait, no, hold it. Hold it, hold it, you're literally, you're not holding it, it's so heavy! Okay, now help me up with the wrapper, yeah. You dropped it on my foot! Please just be careful. Bring me the scissors, I'm thinking I'll just cut this tape up, like this.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3562.87

turned around and pressed my back on the door feeling the phone in my pocket hey Siri call Lisa she picked up yeah Will is that you yes where are you where are you Lisa where's Adam why would you leave like this you know you shouldn't leave me here alone what do you mean where are you In the goddamn living room. There's no one here.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3605.187

It's me, Lisa. It's me. I'm telling you. I'm in the living room.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3634.078

Listen to me, Lisa. That is not me. I need you to leave the house. Take Adam with you. Please just get out. Suddenly, she said something that shocked me. How do you know what?

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3654.371

Well, move around a bit. It knows I'm blind, so it'll pretend if it's blind too. If you do something unexpected and it follows you with its eyes, you'll know. Okay.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3672.764

I don't think it'll hurt you. Just don't let it know you know it's not me. Wouldn't it know already if on the phone call? Okay. I'll just go back upstairs and I hope I can somehow make it out.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

3727.795

Adam listen this is me this is Will I'm stuck in this place that up there is not me please don't talk to it don't let it know you know it's a copy I need to call the police. Don't call the police. If it knows you don't believe it's an illusion, I don't know what it will do.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

4046.214

Yeah. A hundred percent. I think that the only part where the story kind of slips up for me is that kind of rationalization of, I think that the monster should have left the house, like it gathered enough and it should have been trying to find her or something going back and staying and like putting people in that predicament is, uh, is a bit silly.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

4080.563

I don't know. I kind of wish we'd never even went to that angle. I kind of, uh, almost just be trapped in the house. Now she's just kind of writing there forever, but she can't leave the portal aspect. I'm not really totally sold on either kind of wish that it's like this, if it was this thing's house.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

4095.31

Cause also I made this connection earlier of when she's like, so I bought this new house and people said it's a mansion. I was like, what the fuck? You know, like you're an author and you're getting this mansion. But it's like if it's this weird place that people have like they don't want to buy or it has some weird history that she doesn't know about.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

4111.234

Of course, this large house might be super cheap. But if the thing is living inside of it, trying to like mimic somebody, you know, maybe it's like something where it like opens up a door and like the staircase is extended down into some weird cellar.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

4129.937

But that being said, I don't think that the ending completely didn't just trip and stumble. I still think it landed it, albeit a bit shaky. But I love the idea of just taking an element of someone being blind and throwing a home invasion twist into that.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

4155.494

Yeah, one of the strongest creepy moments. It felt similar to... like in pen pal, we're on the river and like the person's on the outside watching and like Reno and running through.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

417.967

So yeah, the kicker was the light bulb in the fridge. You really have to go out of your way to remove the light bulb in the fridge. Well, if it goes out, you're not going to replace it. When have you ever, in your life, when have you ever heard someone be like, hey, man, I just got to turn, I have to change the light bulb in my fridge.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

4173.116

That might be. Yeah. I remember that one being the, the creep. It just, the way it was described. And even with the woman in the house and the old woman that he used to be friends with, it was just, it was really nice. That one. And also the, whenever the thing was like living under the, like under the... What is it? The porch or whatever? They thought that was great too. Yeah, I don't know.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

4193.706

This story was awesome. I think that... I really liked that it was short, sweet, and not tons of fat. Like I said, albeit it seems like trying to explain this weird portal thing or how they came across that is kind of like... It's a little... It doesn't stick the landing precisely to what I'm saying, but I'm just being...

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

4254.187

Yeah, I think that... I'd be, I'd love to just check out more of what this author has done and just a lot of fun. Yeah. Had a lot, tons of fun and just appreciate how to the point it was. It doesn't linger or anything like that. It just, it's really to the point and it delivers the scares in a fun way, very elegant and how it's written. So. All in all, fucking amazing. We appreciate you.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

4276.8

And just want to say thank you guys so much. If you were listening to this on Spotify, thank you so much for listening to this on Spotify or Apple Podcast. It does help us out. We appreciate it. And until next time, everyone, you stay scared, you fucking imbeciles. We'll see you next time.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

467.644

Yeah, but that's a blind person's house. That happens too. So you would never know.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

475.514

Uh, okay. The, uh, Hey, if you guys are listening to this, this enthralling episode of a cat and mouse, um, listen to it on Spotify. We appreciate you. I really, and I got, and I gotta tell you too, we really need a, uh, this needs to be a strong story last week. I've been seeing the people. Our viewers are revolting against us. We need a strong one here.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

522.941

It's true. I'm just letting you know. I've been drinking this chocolate milk. I think it's spoiled. I think it's gone bad. Why are you still drinking it? I mean, it's almost done. I feel bad if I just dump it out.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

540.208

This is definitely... It's almost... It's like a Greek tragedy. It's like Oedipus Rex or something. I'm looking at this, and it's resembling the last bit of chocolate milk in the bottom of the Chateau local milk bottle. It looks like the diarrhea that's going to be in my toilet later. That's what it feels like.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

607.54

Well, I'm just saying that like brilliant cat and mouse game you're playing with me. It reminded me of my favorite horror crime novella.

CreepCast

I'm Blind, I'm Not Sure How Many Steps My Staircase Has | Creep Cast

616.576

Just cat and mouse. That's what all crime throws are. You're trying to catch the perp. When they go in, they're like, how exactly? Okay, but that's not about catching the perp. What I was reading is the opening of House of Leaves. No, no, no. The cat asks, if he's blind, how did he write on the wall? And then the mouse does, you'll have to find out. Cat and mouse. Okay.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Responds to the "Messy" Allegations Against Him from His Wife

3009.66

You would have got him in a fight. I couldn't find a table. I had to sit on the ground. That's not true.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Responds to the "Messy" Allegations Against Him from His Wife

3017.947

Yeah. A little outdoor seating area. Sit on the ground. Yeah, you went and hid. No. Just no tables. No tables. No one would let me in.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Responds to the "Messy" Allegations Against Him from His Wife

3030.832

There was the wooden nerd table where they would play Magic, and I would just sit on the ground next to them.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Responds to the "Messy" Allegations Against Him from His Wife

384.439

Got it, no. Yeah, where you start here and you win, you keep going. It's like a bracket. I've never been good enough at anything to be in a bracket or...

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Responds to the "Messy" Allegations Against Him from His Wife

459.728

I was confused. It sounded like you guys were making your own brackets, and I was just lost. We're not the committee. I don't know.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Responds to the "Messy" Allegations Against Him from His Wife

531.776

I accidentally sent you my alternative playlist. No screaming. It's all feel-good music.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1029.592

One thing I like about this one is they don't overdo it. No, they know when they've got it.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1036.935

Yeah, they don't make you sit there. If they filmed it, okay, and it's decent, well, then they move on. Yeah. You mean to tell me sometimes we did things twice?

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1047.157

Yeah. Because that used to make me mad.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1054.459

The director would ask the cameraman, the main cameraman.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1060.4

And here's the answer. He said, well, how was that? Yeah. And the cameraman, the lead cameraman would say, well, hey, in my opinion, you're not going to ever get better than what you just got.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1076.569

So let's wrap, you know, let's wrap it for the day and go home. And then they'd say, no, we're going to do it again because they had the time allowed. Just because you allowed eight hours to film this episode, when it's good, it's good. Hey, don't push the point.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1116.446

That reminds me of the wrestlers coming and all they had on was that little... That was the coldest day of my life. Little outfits which were nothing and it was

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1185.707

But I get tickled at their reply. To say what you want to say.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1191.041

Now, I get tickled at their replies.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1200.463

I understand what you're talking about on Jacob. He's funny. Oh, yeah. No, no. I like Jacob.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1226.051

That was the father-in-law nicknamed him that. Yeah, Willie nicknamed everybody that.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1262.443

Yeah, but you got your own deal.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1284.931

Bella's cool. Y'all have always been such, you was her babysitter for once.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

129.338

Oh, it's this weekend now. This girl needs a slow hand.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1444.57

Because what it was, he used a coffee maker.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1471.955

That's important, though. No, no, it actually hurt his feelings. Now, later, I seen him because he was moping around pity party. Yeah. And I said, hey. Moping around. I said, I appreciate the effort. I said, but you don't realize, okay, you can't make tea in a coffee machine.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1507.621

I said, yeah, it is. Compared to what you normally cook, this just stinks to hell. Si wouldn't eat it. I said, hey, I wouldn't feed this to my dog.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1534.994

No. I'm pretty thick-skinned, though. No, no. Here lately, I was shocked at how much a pizza costs.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1544.625

What, $26? Yeah, $26. For a large suite. For one 14-inch pizza is $26. Oh, they're expensive, yeah.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1563.582

I don't ever think about it, okay? I watched them pick up, you know, somebody come and pick it up. Hey, they got this thing stacked up. Hey, it's a couple hundred dollars. Oh, yeah.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1617.461

Well, it's the deal about they don't understand. Al's dad and mama raised him. Okay.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1630.666

Well, you got to just think about this, okay? Buckle up, everybody. Okay. Side part mule deer now.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1637.988

What do you, what ingredients do you put together to make a dressing, ducking dressing?

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1646.297

Well, here's the thing. I don't really use either way. You use bread that you've. Toasted. You know, you toasted. What happened if you used donuts? To make it crunchy. That's bread bread. Okay. You use Ritz crackers. You use plain sauteed crackers. Okay. And cornbread. And cornbread. So all you've got here is bread, crackers, crackers, crackers, bread.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1671.147

Well, if you don't put something in there to give it a little flavor.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1675.856

All you've got is a bunch of wet crackers and bread.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1687.383

Al loves the carbonation. So when he done it, first of all, I actually get the spoon. Were you excited about it, Si? Yeah. And then it was a disappointment. Until I dipped it with the big spoon. And then I think I've got soup.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1705.973

Hey, he didn't cook it long enough. There's too much broth in there. It was runnish. That's the first thing I told him. I said, Al, you're dressing. You need to cook it longer. It was runny.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1718.715

I don't think he's the God of man. Then I said, hey, look. I said, I understand, and it's not your fault.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1726.677

Oh, no. Yeah, I said, look, I understand.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1730.117

I said, your dad and mom, Kay and Phil, I've made you anti-sage.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1757.613

Saltine wet crackers. You got to understand something here. It's almost March. Usually when you eat anything that a Robertson cooks, okay, normally it's good. Real good. Like Al's pies. You're not going to get any better pie.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1806.98

But, no, no, but I just. Like, whatever's in that pot. I said, Al, hey, look. I said, hey, dressing is one of them things that. You don't – nobody just cooks it and says, oh, it's good.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1834.75

Oh, no. Well, I told him. I said, hey, look, that was your first time. I said it wasn't bad.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1854.221

See, here's the thing. Like, that's the deal. Hey, when I brought it up here for Corey and all the duck and dressing employees, I brought two of them, and I sat it down, and I said, now, here's the deal. Let me give you this, what, alert? I said, this is not cooked for your taste.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1908.246

I don't know if it's the spirits or the rats. I heard one. You need to put more sage in your dressing.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1924.137

He should be you. Otherwise, you're going to have to eat his crappy sage. I said, next time, let me be there when you make it.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

1941.009

Yeah, I'm going to give it a little flavor. If it ain't got it, I'm going to give it to it, okay?

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2090.585

Some of them seeds they got, no.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2117.327

That reminds me. Yeah, I've been messing up.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2121.734

I've been putting hamburger meat on my pepperoni pizza. I need to make it like Hot sausage.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2133.027

No, no, I don't. I ordered it, Johnny's. Oh, yeah.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2142.474

Yeah. Yeah, that was a bad move on my part.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2156.065

And I guess I might tell them, hey, you dummies, put a little jalapeno on there.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2161.75

I cannot wait to make you a pizza. Have at least three or four on each piece.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2183.55

Well, if Hunter shows up with a camera. Hey, if the money's on your back, I'll give you the money to buy the stuff.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2195.42

Oh, I don't mind. Trust me, I don't mind. I'm doing all that, too.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2200.681

It'll be worth it, okay, because I'm going to eat me about six or seven of them. See, that's what I'm afraid of.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2209.404

Wait a minute, hey, you can't go down. It ain't going to be just one.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2224.029

Yeah, because Willie wouldn't have done that one night.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2228.171

Willie makes a pretty good amount of pizza. Willie's ratio. He done that when we killed that deer over in Yazoo, Mississippi.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2236.235

Huh? All these are better. Willie's pizza. They're better than Willie's?

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2240.388

Yeah, son. Hey, you got this. Hey, yeah, you got this. Yeah. No, Willie's right. You need to get off your butt, you and your wife, and let's get some pizza built here.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2264.373

Yo, I got tickled at Phil. I brought chili down to Phil's one time.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2269.735

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, I got thick skin. I ain't worried about it. The first thing he did was he took the dipper that I use for chili. He done like that and poured it out. I like to crush crackers up in mine. Oh, to thicken it?

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2292.082

I don't like my chili where it, no. Yeah. He's got a paste.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2308.616

Well, no, no. That's what I grew up with. Oh, I go both ways. I go both ways.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2313.601

There ain't nothing better than to get a good pot of chili, empty a bunch of Fritos in it, and then just cover that sucker up with cheese, buddy. I'm hungry. Why do we go back to food?

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2334.039

I know what he's talking about.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2344.141

And Fritos. Instead of just cooking a pot of rice, have your Fritos and chili and cheese mixed and put it on top of the rice.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2358.137

Well, I know, but hey, that ain't even better. You put beans in your chili?

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2372.371

I don't have the Mexican in me.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2408.621

No, I don't mind them. It is chili.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2411.684

But I'm not. I digress. That's like a good pot of pinto beans.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2420.912

If you don't throw a big leftover ham. I haven't eaten good in like a year, so I'm starving right now. No, no, because, hey, look, yo.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2434.806

Mexican cornbread. Lisa's Mexican cornbread. It's Gulf of America now.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2439.891

Because, hey, look, when you turn that thing over, You got them strips of bacon on the bottom that you're looking at.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2447.296

I can do that, too. Yeah, you got the jalapenos in there all chopped up.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2505.158

My grandmother, my mama Hale, she cooked that every day.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2511.561

She had a, uh-huh. She used yellow or white cornmeal. She does both. Both, yeah. Yeah, she done both. And both of them, there was no leftovers for the dogs.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2686.703

U.S. If you boot the National Anthem, you better get your...

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2700.19

I'm actually pumped. Look, hey, you don't talk about the flag or the song.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2708.874

Hey, Murrow, I can tell you the best. If you do, you done stepped on my fighting side, Jack. Martin.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2824.925

I don't know where that would catch on. What? ESPN Tonight at 720 Central. Dislike you and your country? But I would never be so rude.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2838.367

It's to boo your anthem. I think they got caught. Or your flag.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2843.09

Or your flag. That's just one of them things you don't do.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2856.42

Oh, no. I was going to say, that's one of them. Yeah. Because, hey, I've had, you know.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2863.747

Well, hey, and look, it's nothing. It's reflex. It's in Boston. What you got was reflex. Ooh, Boston. Those psychos from Boston. Because in my opinion, the nicest thing you can do to me is spit on me.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2966.725

Share Jesus with them. That's all you do.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2985.53

They may hand you the mic. Take care of Jesus with them.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

2994.664

Let me tell you about the man. That man, his name is Jesus Christ.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3001.789

Here's what he did for you, me, and everybody around here.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3015.202

My Bible on the front of it is give them Jesus, Jack.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3048.703

There's almost a zombie apocalypse.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3080.895

I don't think I'd want to be around. Get the three things. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I'm like Martin.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3108.889

This is being a soldier. Give me an automatic weapon. And plenty of ammo.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3126.064

Hey, give me an automatic weapon. That's three things.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3141.551

I can get rid of the living problem.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3145.953

I can end that shotgun with one shot and I'm done. I'm going to take a bunch of them women before I got one.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3176.695

Well, I always say I want to get some hand-to-hand. Yeah, I don't want to.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3184.078

Yeah, I don't want hand-to-hand. If it ever gets there, yeah, okay.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3192.636

If it's got off, I'm out of ammo.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3217.956

That's bad. What was going on when he was in the water? Just pop him on the head.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3222.78

No, you got to like Tom Hanks Island. He'd be like a cork. He sunk him, boys.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

3269.326

And he's gathering us, boys. We're having a gathering.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

54.02

I hadn't been able to be a wingman in a long time, and it felt nice. Okay, well, here's my question. On a scale, one to ten, what does she look like?

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

64.83

Hey, I want to look, see what the babe looks like.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

667.866

You've got to have your beauty rest.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

763.982

What? Oh, yeah. She falcon punched you? I thought the car had literally blew up.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

779.746

No, no, look, hey, I actually picked her up from the motel, okay, where she was staying, her and her parents. Okay, we get in the car, and I sit down, and look, when I put the keys in and turn it, I mean, she cold cocked me with her fist now. Did you think the car blew up? I thought the car had blew up. I really did.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

937.489

Yeah, because, hey, that was a long three weeks. Mm-hmm.

Duck Call Room

Young Uncle Si Got Socked Twice in the Face by His Date!

974.453

That's one thing. It is a different kind of crew.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1002.731

Yeah. Us Rednecks call it a combine.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1005.214

Not a harvester. Oh, that's an international harvester. No, it ain't international. That's a green one.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1014.667

That's on brand, man. Hunter trying to act like he a farmer. That's cool, man. He got me the farmer thing, then he was like, hey, but just for us nerds.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

102.409

you i am touched also many more also this pod also this podcast is not brought to you by sonic producer beth brought johnny d three of his favorite coke zeros to try and we're gonna see if he can pick out which flavor has been oh did you johnny d got a lego oh my dude has a lego and it's a combine

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1025.91

He tried to hide that Millennium Falcon behind a tractor.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1045.077

I haven't even gotten started.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1049.719

I don't need more things to watch. I don't either. I'm in a hobby shrinking category, not expanding. No new hobbies.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1061.105

I do, yeah. There's two mantras at the Martin House. No new hobbies, no new pets. That's where we're at right now. You're leaving space for a new girl. I would qualify that at that age under pets. Yeah. Under pets. Yeah. I'll say this. Until I get the current ones housebroken, they're still essentially pets.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1136.155

But see, my boys are at the age where every animal you see needs to be a pet. Like turtles, bring him in. I had four turtles as a kid.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1150.427

Yeah, they got to bring it inside. They want to show the turtle their trucks. And I'm like, buddy, he could care less about your truck. And you're messing up the natural order of things. And he don't want you to drive your truck across his back. Yeah.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1222.727

Turtles want them things, though. When you look at him, you don't think about him taking a dump. But they do. I mean, you really know. You look at a turtle, you don't think about him like, well, he's going to take a dump at some point. I've never thought about a turtle pooping. That's what I'm talking about. But they eat so much dead and dying stuff.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1238.933

Imagine what it smells like after it's been processed. Like, it ain't good.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1253.88

That's why Moana had it right, man. Fish peeing you all day. That's all they do. They sit there and pee, and then they swim in it, right?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1290.773

Her name is Lucy. Her name is Lucy now. Lucy. Yeah, so see, when pets, when animals get a name... That's when, yeah.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1304.518

You didn't tell her what caused them?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1311.865

Yeah. I was that dog at one point in my life.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1425.955

So what you're saying is you need something that can talk back.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1434.597

Yeah, you're going to get blasted. Yeah. I've been in enough trouble lately.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

144.188

Oh, this is going to be fun. Hunter didn't even go with the brand that we get. The boys is cheaper than Lego.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1456.928

You sound like you're talking about somebody. Nope. Go ahead and expound. Put an address on it, homie. Yeah, go ahead and expound, friend. I love everybody's dog. You know, I've been a lot of places with Si. You know what he's never brought with him? Sweet pea? Sweet pea.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1487.667

Throw him in his lap? Here, catch.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

149.549

Mega blocks or whatever they're called.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1493.945

You can have a good time in bad boots.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1503.168

Well, yeah. If your feet hurt, that's just misery, right? And that's why you need... Takovas. Ooh. Boom, baby. Flip it and reverse it. If you've ever wondered if you can pull off boots with your personal style... You owe it to your feet to pull on a pair of Tacobas. Being confident isn't about being different. Thank God. It's about being yourself.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1524.59

And we've got the world's most confident man in this room.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1535.838

Yeah, you can bring the West to you. You can find comfort in the traditions of the West and confidence for making it your own. Honor the West by leaving your own boot print. Tecova's crafts quality Western boots for everyone from generational ranchers, not Cy, and lifelong cowboys. Cy wants to be one. That's it. To first-time boot buyers.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

154.147

Yeah, they don't fit very well. You know, for the boys, they're perfect right now.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1553.462

He's also not that because he's got a few pairs of boots, but he hasn't bought another pair since he got his first pair at Tecova's.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1560.948

That's what I'm talking about. With over 200 meticulous steps for broken in comfort right out of the box. So whether it's a long day or a big night, your Takovas are built to last and impress. There's no compromise between quality and style with these boots. Plus with Takovas best in the West guarantee, you get free returns and exchanges for 30 days.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1578.105

We know that because first time we ordered them, they weren't the right ones for a side. We couldn't get them on his foot.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1592.076

That's what I'm talking about. I'm serious. And right now, you can get 10% off at tecovas.com slash Duck! When you sign up for email and text, that's 10% off at T-E-C-O-V-A-S dot com slash Duck! tecovas.com slash Duck! C-Cypher details, Tecovas.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1623.296

Well, look, about a week ago, you could argue that I had a pet armadillo as much as he was hanging around the house and tearing up my yard. Oh, my goodness.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1633.7

Oh, no, they'll tear some stuff up. But let me tell you something. I don't have a pet armadillo anymore. Wait till you see this. That was a fun little chess match me and him played.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

164.432

They can't eat them. Yeah, so the job on the Coke Zero is to see. You got to guess the flavor. They're flavored, and you have to guess which flavors have been added.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1646.586

We get them all over the place at my house.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1663.865

Oh, yeah. I don't mess with him. Yeah. I mean, they are. It's hard to get leprosy from them, but they do carry leprosy.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1673.312

But, you know, just, you know, I got kids now, so I got to be a little more careful about what I put my hands on. But, no, it was a fun little chess game with my guy. Oh, yeah. And, look, I'm not even holding him out like a fish picture either.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1685.621

so like i mean i could have straight armed him and made him look even bigger um but no it was so we me and johnny d and our wives went out on a town the other night and then when i got to the neighborhood i got to go on like two miles an hour and johnny d was like what are you doing what you trying to kill and i said i'm looking for that armadillo man this is the time he generally is out and about but that night he wasn't and johnny said what are you gonna do with him i said i got a gun in my truck

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1713.629

Oh, yeah. He got the... No, I went in and got the .22 on this one. Oh, okay. The .22 pistol, which is hard enough. I mean, you see, I'm in a neighborhood, man. It's hard to find an angle where you ain't shooting at something. Right. So, you know, I slid out there the next night, and there he was. And so then... It's so funny, man. I slid out there. I got up next to the fence.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1737.093

I was like, okay, if I keep this fence... Because they don't see very well, and I know that, but... I slid out there and then I take a step toward him. He turned and looked. So he's listening, you know? And then I'd be like, I got nervous. I got like I was deer hunting, man. Like, because me and him, we got a history now. Cause he didn't get that size last night.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1757.945

So he'd been after me for a while and always been able to slick me. But I finally, I got that rascal. But with the funniest part was, and Brittany was right there in the garage watching everything go down. As soon, I kid you not, as soon as I pulled that trigger, sirens. Sirens. And I was like, oh God. So then I start scrambling. I'm like, I get the magazine. I get the magazine out.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1782.73

I get the magazine out of my pistol. Take one out the hip thinking, you know, it means we're close enough to 71292. That could be.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1789.525

domestic violence or something you never know um at that time of night you know i mean that ain't when good things happen when i when i got him now armadillo's never died a normal hour yeah and the last thing you want to hear when you let off a shot in the neighborhood is a siren so and of course then next thing goes to our mind because he you know armadillo is pretty tough he toted that for a second so he took off running so i was like oh i gotta go get him to prove my innocence you know like i don't live in the city limits so i can discharge a firearm it's fine

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

18.49

Actually, I don't know. Hunter, is this for the pub? No, start the show. Yeah, start the show. Start the show. Start the show.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1816.778

but like it just i then i went into like full blunt man here come the police like everything i'm about to get i'm about to get 97 questions about killing an army ticket probably here we go somebody gonna get me for something but i got but they it was just happenstance that the uh that the sirens and the gunshot had nothing to do with me, but boy, I thought it did.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1837.913

If you'd have seen me scrambling, I had the gun in one hand, the magazine in my back pocket. I don't know where the bullet that went in the chamber went. I just shook that baby. It's out there in my yard.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1851.101

But my favorite, oh, I ain't worried about that. We've had so much rain, it's probably done washed downhill by now. But look, My favorite part, you see right there on that sewer drain, that's right at the corner of my mailbox. So after I took the picture with my foe, I sat him on that sewer drain. It's kind of because it's like the entrance to my yard.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1869.58

Just to let his buddies know, don't you come around here. If there was more than one of y'all, Look at what happened to him. So far, we've been good, you know?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1881.471

Yeah. Man, you pay a lot of money for that stuff, man. For landscaping and everything, man. You know how much money I spent at Fast Growing Trees to get that thing right?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

1902.177

Oh, when I was sitting there most of the time getting ready to do the deal, just hearing him... Y'all never heard of that? What, racing armadillo? Armadillo races. That one wouldn't have been so good at it. He was beefy. He wasn't going to win no race.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

192.707

Yeah, you do something to camouflage it, right?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

200.781

This thing can only get better.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2000.329

With your cell phone? A hundred pound cat.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2057.354

Yeah, you were headed towards a stereotype. No, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got away from it.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2100.631

Toted it like a man, didn't he?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2126.902

Got you, buddy. We squirreled.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2298.213

Oh, like for plumbing or something, because you was off the ground.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

230.58

Hey, if there's not, you can go to my office and there can be. Okay.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2411.861

Did he play dead? No, he was dead. All I can picture is that scene from Dumb and Dumber. Harry, you're alive and you're a terrible shot. I mean, that's all I can see. When I'm thinking of Rucker, I'm assuming partially stoned on something and just firing away randomly. Let me just tell you something right now. Old size deal. If I walk in the bathroom at 1 a.m.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2439.839

and there's a possum, buddy, you're going to have a whole different mess to clean up than a dead possum. Because if I'm going to the bathroom at 1, something has happened.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2452.415

i'm there something gonna be sprayed everywhere and i don't know i mean just it clarifies to what it would be but what yeah possums i mean i don't know if we've talked about this or not but we found one britney got the video somewhere yeah yeah because there was one in cory's house oh yeah that was the one that's where we yeah there was a little possum that got in britney's glove box of her car

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2475.719

oh and you shot the car like any normal person no i oh you didn't no i grabbed the possum and put him out of it i just hold on are we gonna act like what i did is just that far-fetched yeah no i'm assuming that the five holes you put in the floor weren't the first five holes so maybe not i will say they didn't they didn't decrease the value

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2505.025

No weird. Well, the only possible story, you doubling killed that one that time.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2519.189

Yeah, can't do that. Which is a natural thing to do.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

259.669

Here we go. Look. Dirty option.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

262.75

No liquor is in any of these. I can tell you what I'm not going to do. Go to Sonic and get my standard corn dog and tell him to make it dirty. Because I don't want to know what that would include.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2703.273

So, Hunter, you probably didn't know after you told me this story yesterday that I was going to bring this up. Yeah, I did. You did? Yeah. So, you baited me into this? No. Oh, okay.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2717.974

No. So I was sitting in here recording an audio only thing and Hunter walked in, pulled up a chair. We just sitting there talking. Hunter, who helped you get dressed post-surgery? My dad. Oh, that's sweet.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2756.474

You said if it looks big, send it to my friends. And I only make this joke because I know after a similar area surgery, and I'm not talking about the vasectomy. I had a completely different one. But when you're coming off of being put under, like that little fog that you're in, you get told you say some pretty wild stuff.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2779.38

Hunter's just fresh out of recovery room, and his dad's trying to get his pants on him. He said, if it looks big, take a picture and send it to my friend. Hey, hey. I said, why didn't I get a text, man?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2815.628

They put that little mesh surgery underwear on you, man. So you got to get out of that stuff. No, I didn't. Oh, they didn't give you that? No, I was butt naked.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2826.916

Well, you didn't tell me you had the surgery in Tijuana. Yeah, what doctor? What doctor?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2845.501

Yeah. No matter what the cause is, whether you got, you know, kids or... Bills, credit card debt. Yeah. Mountains of... It's hard to find that money.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2854.404

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

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Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2898.928

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2919.048

Visit donewithdebt.com and talk with one of their strategists. It's free. Go to donewithdebt.com. That's donewithdebt.com.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2948.357

Tom, what's the pumping you full of gas? To create space in there so they can see.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2954.542

The hernia, that's not from- He says gas, just air. They're just putting air in there.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2963.986

How has your nutrition been? Have you been eating cleaner? How good was that first fart?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

2969.569

After being pumped full of air, yeah.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3001.175

That's why you got them Legos. Yeah, yeah. They're about 12 ounces.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3016.219

And that did lift my emotions. The only thing I can lift up is your spirits, buddy. Yeah, that's what Hunter hit me with.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

303.133

Which ain't bad. I mean, you're hydrating, man. Got the salt, got the vinegar. You're hydrating, man.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3069.855

You know what we haven't done in a while, Mark? We need to talk. I know you said we had an update. Yes.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3121.108

Oh, in her bone collector wear. Shout out, Michael Waddell. Anyway, there's the Knight family. That's a Waddell fan. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Yeah, buddy.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3130.512

All right, so the girl's name is Talladega. Whoa, time out. Go back to that. Are they like demolition derby? No, no, no, no, no. That's a, that's old model. That's a dirt track. Well, yeah, I just, that one looks like it's been through. That one's got some, that one's got a testimony. That car. That's what I look like 12 years ago. Rolling up in there on Mother's Day, son.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3153.411

That's what I look like. Yeah.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3166.52

But they said. Yeah, on different names.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3219.827

Poor Hunter, his dad and granddad tried to will him to be one, but it just ain't there, boys.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3237.378

That is really cool. Now, like, the pressure's really up if you listen and your last name is Knight. You got to come up with something cool. Yeah.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3251.896

Oh my gosh. That was just before Hunter said, take a picture. If it looks big.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3274.565

That's what happens when you order a jet off a team. Uh,

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

332.316

Hunter getting me Legos. You got flavored drinks and Legos.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3361.494

Yeah, he ain't trying to be around you.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3391.952

So even asleep, you don't like to be slapped.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3409.264

Hunter, did you bite anybody? I did not. Then he'd end up at the dentist.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3421.483

Well, yeah. Cause that's the, you got, you got their job.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3436.875

Well, speaking of standing on business, we got to get the heck out of here because me and Si got to go film Duck Dynasty. So, Johnny D, you got us a verse.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3448.885

Amen, buddy. Lighten the Lord first. Mr. Rucker, thank you for joining us again here in the Duck Call Room. Johnny D., happy 36th birthday. That's right. Happy birthday, buddy. And Hunter, we're glad to have you back. We can throw paper at you again. Hunter, I love you. I'm going home to do Legos.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

3466.877

Yeah, don't lift a thing. We'll see you all next time right here in the Duck Call Room. We're out.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

35.059

Welcome back to the Duck Call Room, ladies and gentlemen. We got to let our fans feel like they're welcome. Look, today... It's a big day. It is a huge day. Johnny D is officially closer to 40 than he is 30 now. Amen.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

357.457

Man, adult gifts are the best, though. I love getting adult gifts, man.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

366.446

You know, the last thing, let me tell you, the last thing that my dad bought me for a gift Christmas of that year, a blower. And I still use that thing, and I love it, and I laugh every time. I love adult gifts.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

385.73

Well, didn't mean to bring up that part of trauma. Now that you're a therapist, you can probably get through it.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

407.018

Oh, okay. But we haven't told them. That that's what they got you?

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

415.727

Oh. But they got you that for your birthday. Yeah. Yeah. Dad life. You're going to get another lightsaber?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

433.795

Even if they ain't got it, just type it in. When you get to a coupon code somewhere, put in Duck. Tell them we sent you there. I don't know.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

444.298

That's fun. Disney, baby. Run that Disney back. That'll be fun.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

463.764

And that's for me, too. Well, what'd you get Lottie then? Because you can't just get the boy something.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

486.958

Yeah, I get two of everything.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

491.32

no i get two just uh i tried the you know they're what two and a half i tried we've tried the one and one and to force the sharing yeah but it just initiates a fight so you know at this point we're not they're not old enough to reason with just yet so we're we're still on the identical toys for for both boys but it is funny they they gravitate and whalen is That kid's wild.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

51.461

No, because you were dead in the middle. Now, there's no turning back. You're steamrolling towards where I'm going to be in a few months. So, 40's on the horizon there, big guy. Happy birthday, Johnny D. I'm 36 today.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

516.324

They can be the identical thing. But once he identifies one of them as his, he knows which one that is between the two. And it is the craziest thing I have ever seen. I'm like, how do you know?

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

532.498

Yeah, there's something different about each one of them.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

537.443

Because I've tried to go, like, their favorite thing when we ride in a car is to take a truck for whatever reason. So I've tried to go get just a random truck, and he's like, no, that's Jackson's. And I'm like, buddy, there were two of them sitting there. How am I supposed to know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

564.137

They don't even look like brothers at this point. I thought that they were identical. No. That's just rough to pay attention, man. No, it's fine. Hey, but you just had, so what'd you, you just, your wife celebrating her first Mother's Day, huh?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

635.056

So you got a blank slate. You know the first person I'm calling? Who?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

697.375

slide over in that part that says low maintenance. That's the one you want. They have that as a checkbox too. You hit low maintenance.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

7.245

We're good. Hunter, you ready? Oh, Hunter got you a gift.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

754.978

Yeah, you might have to holler at that remodeler. Yeah, man. I got a guy. You might have to put one of them out there in a garage. Oh, yeah.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

824.205

I reckon that's why Willie lived in that cook shack growing up because he got tired of Alan.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

845.636

What you trying to do in private?

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

849.396

Whatever would you do at 15 years old?

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

878.215

Buddy, we in the 2000s. They ain't moving out until six years later.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

887.08

Yeah, them days of 18 and on and on. Well, that's why I'm paying for OCS. I mean, you know.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

90.444

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. This is not what they tuned in for.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

904.43

I'm going to check back with you in three years.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

937.22

I'm trying to figure out what's worse, a female Rucker or another male one. That's what I'm saying.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

947.589

Yeah. He just hit his growth spurt and kept going.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

964.619

I thought that only happened in the womb.

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Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

974.756

A couple of Philly mini blunts. Uh-oh, I'm in front of the other camera. Hunter trying to move something. Do I get out there, Hunter?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

987.768

Oh, there it is. Well, it's too big of a combine, man.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin Panicked After Firing a Gun Near Police

993.419

I probably shouldn't have told you it was a combine. Would you have known it was a combine by looking at it?

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Duck Call Room Replaces Uncle Si with a Better Smooth Talker

2185.129

There is a pretty big music scene in Monroe, West Monroe, though. Oh, okay. A lot of ours are pretty band friendly.

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Duck Call Room Replaces Uncle Si with a Better Smooth Talker

2199.118

The air guitar. Sometimes the air drums.

Duck Call Room

Duck Call Room Replaces Uncle Si with a Better Smooth Talker

2401.559

So I'm going to blame that if it's wrong.

Duck Call Room

Duck Call Room Replaces Uncle Si with a Better Smooth Talker

2673.661

Yeah. No, I don't have another one. I thought you had one.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1017.828

and we got to talk about something else too because it was my wife's birthday so i had to say yes yeah to whatever she felt like doing that day and she wanted to go to this christmas light play which i was in on that place was cool and then they had that christmas tree cake so it took the top but she's like we'll go shopping in shreveport and i was like okay whatever you know where she most wanted to go bias pro

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1058.177

But we went all the way to Shreveport to go to Target.

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Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1065.24

She was at our Target the day before. But then she told me that this Target is a super Target. Oh. Which means it's better. But all that to me, it just would look bigger.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1079.511

I guess, but we weren't getting groceries.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1106.515

But they had the, we had to go to Target. And then I complained, which I shouldn't have because it was her birthday. And then every woman she asked was like, is Super Target different? And they claim it's super.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1134.856

To go out of town to go somewhere we already had.

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Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1142.442

Don't eat at that Mexican place beside it.

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Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1152.973

They got food you can't get anywhere else.

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Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1159.482

Heck, yeah. And that was not bought at Whole Foods.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1174.128

That is freedom of speech and to do what I want to do. And if I want to eat a little Debbie.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1217.617

Well, the funny part, Bucky's is so good that, like, whenever you put one in the town, they have to, like, rearrange all the traffic.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1227.218

And so then they were like, hey, let's put it here. And they were like, then the kids can't go to school. And then they're like, oh. Yeah.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1243.536

Here you go. The news in November said expected to be completed in mid-2026. There you go. They should deep fry it.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1253.378

Two years. That's fine. Two years. Two years.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1259.439

Well, Shreveport doesn't have a bucket. Super target. Shreveport got enough traffic issues without a bucket.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1277.057

Oh, God. I walked right into that one. Yeah. I was like, famous pickle. I was about to go back. I like pickles.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1294.186

Si's only. I had to go get me a little money from the bank. Si's only outing was to get a little cash. I'm not going to presume what it was for. Oh, it was for the poker game. Okay.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1321.722

I ain't home. That's the best part. He accidentally got caught up in traffic. What he didn't know is he was just in the middle of the parade. Yeah, you should have just rolled your window down and started waving at him.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1341.654

He thought he was in traffic. You were in a regulation parade.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1402.79

North Louisiana is into Christmas lights. That's what I've learned. Yeah. Why not?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1433.339

I know. Oh, yeah. We're going to do a hayride through it. Yeah, now you can do the hayride.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1467.448

Have you taken your kids to the Christmas lights?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1475.274

I know. We'll go. We'll go. They're of the age where you can unbuckle them and they will go wild in that car.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1509.863

You got cameras looking at your kids in the car?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1520.648

I got a five-year-old. There wasn't any cameras back. There might have been. We had a mirror.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1564.882

Eating something that they found in their clothes.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1575.907

Well, they're about to the point you can just ask them what they're doing. Yeah. What are you eating? A frog? Where'd you get it? My diaper.

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Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1607.904

That's how our middle one is. He just assumes starve.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1622.794

It is good. Si, you got any big plans for Christmas? Nope. Nope. Okay. Moving on. Hunter, you got any big plans for Christmas? Yeah.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1659.118

I was just, hey, look, we get a lot of emails. What if she listens?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1707.281

No, I don't know. Cy, do you want anything specific for Christmas?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1715.773

See, this is why people complain about buying their dad's and grandpa's gifts.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1723.377

You're the hardest person to buy for. I'm really not.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1841.071

I've probably got a hundred socks and only like four of them are paired together. I know. I don't know where.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1855.182

Most of the time. Hey, you got different socks on. I got same socks on today, but most of the time my socks are different. Yeah.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1897.922

That's been like 50 years ago. Yeah. I've got some socks with Phil's face on them that I will never get rid of. They're awesome. I wear them to church all the time. I need some with your face on them, Si. Well, they put my face on everything else.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1972.172

See, that was the problem. Allison. her birthday's the 7th, our anniversary's the 18th, and Christmas, and then I'm broke. But she got a new car in October, so I was gonna try and just put a bow on the stupid car every... But you gotta do something at least or you get in trouble.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

1998.995

Oh, yeah. I got her like air fresheners for her birthday.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2011.902

She would actually like that. Yeah. I did buy her an expensive vacuum one time for Christmas, and that didn't seem to go over well, even though it's what she said she wanted. Yeah.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2058.737

Janice used it a lot. Oh, yeah. She was mad, but then she loved it. She was like, did you really just get me a leaf blower for Christmas?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2105.911

Oh, yeah. It is tough to get people like side gifts, though.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2161.055

The best thing to do is get somebody something that they can cook you a meal with. There you go. That is a move. That's a solid look.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2180.5

Okay. No, but look, we do get a lot of emails in like, what do I get my dad for Christmas?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2194.839

I got a bunch of it. Only sage. I got a bunch of it.

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Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2200.542

Every year we get my dad something new to cook. That's a good look.

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Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2205.785

Yeah, and so I benefit from it greatly. Yeah, that's a solid gift. He deep fried a pork loin last night.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2221.275

They act like we're the toughest people to buy for, but we're really not. No, just a little widget.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2227.799

Or just something to put in a Cajun fryer. Like, my dad, every year for his birthday, I just go to the grocery store. Go with Emeril with his air fryers.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2254.76

There's not a better guarantee in life. Are you bad mouthing a George Foreman grill? No.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2290.226

When I tell you the George Foreman grill got me through college, I think it's the only thing I knew how to cook on.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2301.658

You just put whatever you want on there, close it, and come back in a minute and eat it. Eat it. That's right.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2329.404

A hibachi. A hibachi. A griddle. Yep. Some call it a griddle. It depends on how high class you are.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2339.173

I got one. You know who uses it more? I got it for myself. You know who uses it more than me? Allison.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2355.351

You know what else was good at making bacon?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2362.389

It's a tabletop griddle. But it's both sides. George Foreman made $200 million on that thing. We got to come up with something. It was a good tool. It still is. Yeah. We got to bring the George Foreman back. I went to college with the girl that lived next door to George Foreman. Did she? Mm-hmm. For real? Yeah. I drove past his house one time. That's interesting. In Houston. In Houston. H-Town.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2385.793

She was like, oh, yeah, this is my house. I said, who lives at the place down the road? And she was like, oh, that's Mr. Foreman.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2397.618

I don't know that they ever met. He had a very large wall around his house. Yeah, most do. It was a big house built by little tiny $34 grills.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2407.459

That's American dream right there, man. It sure is. Be able to punch someone so hard, you can sell $200 million worth of grills.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2422.464

Hold on, Si. That's what we got to do. That's it. We're all about to retire. We need an Uncle Si kitchen appliance that's as good as this.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2449.432

I used to have that tea maker that you... What was that last part? You put the water in the top and... Oh, yeah, the Lipton little thing.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2470.501

Put it in a microwave and microwave it. Si, we're about to make $200 million off of the Uncle Si tea maker.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2484.669

If you're in the tea making business, call us. I got an idea. You got an idea. George Foreman.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2503.862

So I did ask. Hello at duckcallroom.com. We asked on Instagram, but I'm going to give them a second chance here. If you've got one of those Spotify wrapped, I think Apple wraps it, and they tell you, hey, this was your top podcast of the year, whatever. We try and do it every year, recognize some of our fans that, Listen a lot.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2523.87

Colby from Southeast Texas emailed in, and I think he's on Apple Music, Apple Podcasts, listening to us. We were his top podcast of 2024.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2547.206

That would equate to 318 and a half hours of listening to this podcast, which equates to 13 days. Wow. Of the last 11 months, he has spent 13 days listening to you, Si. Si, how does that make you feel?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2570.34

Every now and again. Every now and again. So, yeah, that's insane. If you beat that, please email it in at hello at duckcallroom. Wherever you're at, share your wrapped. We'd love to see them and like and subscribe and all that stuff. Did you see how I just did that like a professional podcaster? There you go.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2599.78

I thought that was the most commented episode.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2605.403

But I do take great pride in this. Do y'all have any idea what the most commented episode was? Oh, your son. Gotta be. He nailed it. We got a future president and star on our hands.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2628.885

That was our most commented. Oh, that was funny of the year. Funny with young Carter showing up. Um, it, Spotify gave us a personality, by the way. What do y'all think it was? I don't know.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2646.612

I don't know. I don't know. Whimsical. Whimsical? Nope. Our podcast creator personality is the storyteller. Ding, ding, ding, buddy. So we have a market, and we're pretty good at nailing it.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2663.081

And then one of our top episodes was, for some reason, Martin working at a circus. I have no recollection. You worked at a circus?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2811.448

Because they helped a lot of people. Oh, absolutely. I mean, a lot. Our next email comes from somebody, and I don't get this. I'm just going to preface this.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2823.154

Well, it's a picture. A picture? A British person. There's a TV show called The Midwich Cuckoos. I don't know what that means. This little girl looks like she's murdered people, but they're saying this person looks like me, and I don't-

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2851.244

That is a little girl who's killed people on British television. I'm most certain. But find a picture of you clean shaved.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2873.69

Well, that's a little girl, so I hope she would never have a beard. I mean, there's nothing wrong with being cute. Yeah. No, no. Okay, here we go. There's me the last time I shaved in 2012.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2908.273

Oh, no. We have British family out there, so I don't like this anymore.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2923.056

We got to get Connor and Carter together to talk about Vietnam. Okay, I'll see you. A couple old 10-year-olds really like to do that. They just sit around and chop it up. Sit around and chop it up about old mom stories. And then Keith emails in. This will probably be our last one. Keith emailed in. And he just read Psychology 1, and it literally brought him to tears.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2948.729

But he said it was the second best book he's ever read. That's awesome. That's high praise.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

2968.106

Yeah. Isn't Eagle the pigeon in psychology one?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

3003.69

That's wild. There are some good stories in that book. Yeah. You can still get it on Amazon if you're wondering what a good Christmas gift is. I didn't even plan that. Good Christmas gift? The second best book ever written next to the Bible, according to Keith. That's high praise.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

3033.518

Well, Martin, you ready? Close it out. Let's close it out here. We're just going with the straight up verse of the day from verseoftheday.com. Romans 12, 9. Love must be sincere, hate what is evil, and cling to what is good. Psychology one's good. It's good.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

505.261

Hold on. I have to check on Hunter. Hunter's literally choked up about the story and cannot stop coughing. Are you okay?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

521.549

Hunter, have you ever had a bottle of water before? Or is this your first one?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

652.852

It's because our friends at MyPillow have a passion to help everyone get the best sleep of their life.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

757.878

Weren't you the... Oh, I was. I was the grand poobah one time. Of the Baucombeville Redneck Christmas Parade?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

779.878

No, it exists in the real world. You have to go to Shreveport and drive on that interstate. That is a life or death situation right there. All that construction.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

803.873

Shreveport, Louisiana's interstate has been a travesty for years. Oh, yeah. Now they're fixing it. Attempting to fix it. So what they've done is made it all one lane and put walls up where if you fart, you're going to scratch your car all up. It is so nerve wracking. It's tight. But in Shreveport's defense, I say a lot of foul things about Shreveport.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

828.686

they say a lot about us too doesn't matter we're right they're wrong my wife's from there it's a weird place but we went to this christmas light thing and it was cool they had snow tubing in but it was like on this plastic thing that was a lot of fun then there was lights and i was like this is a neat thing the kids like it's my wife's birthday we're all having fun and then they had this uh

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

853.268

food truck area and i was like all right and there was one called corn dogs the thing was queen's corn dogs amen buddy and the kids all wanted a corn dog and i was like i got you and i walk up and there's doesn't who by the way who doesn't want a corn dog yeah well i didn't after i saw what else they had and mustard mix it up together there is a sign on this food truck that says deep fried

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

880.871

Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes. Wow. Deep fried. Underneath it, it said, everything's better on a stick. And I said.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

894.886

Everything better with a handle. I haven't been saying it for years.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

900.031

And so I said, well. I guess we're going to have to go for this.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

906.675

That was breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That was everything I ever needed in my life. They put some whipped cream on top of it, put some more sprinkles on it. Really? You picked up the stick and it was kind of like, uh-oh.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

919.973

You need to. The first bite, I was like, this is one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me. And then I found this one bite in the middle that was like if you took the best funnel cake you've ever had and mixed it with a Little Debbie Christmas tree cake and Santa Claus himself had Mrs. Claus make it for you and you were at the North Pole eating it underneath a blanket.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

945.759

When I tell you how magical it was, I'll never forget it.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

959.959

there's a chance i'm in a wedding this weekend so i actually cannot go back but i i would consider going back just for the little debbie on a stick and a half over yeah but but that's saying something because i don't even like going to shreveport for any old reason But these people turned Shreveport around single-handedly.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

988.188

So they're south of Shreveport. Look at it, Si. I got a picture of the – I was sitting there, and I had to send this to Martin. Did you cross the river? Look at it. Everything's better than sick. Wow, $10?

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin's Massive Mistake Caused His Life to Flash Before His Eyes

999.992

worth it just ma'am charge double yeah i'd do it good wouldn't even think twice about never i thought about going and getting another one yeah it was delicious yeah and it was worth that road i bought an 11 cookie on duval street in key west so don't don't hear me yeah

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

1099.621

That's a good lesson I learned training jiu-jitsu. Guess what? You suck. Yeah.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

1122.78

Phil, for years, made the dressing with teal or wood ducks. And it was always good until recently. Al decided he was going to take up the mantle of Thanksgiving. He's going to make the dressing. Well, he got the body type. So, yep. Well, you know he's on that.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

1166.462

Anyway, Al made the dressing. Yeah, so what about it? We go to Thanksgiving dinner at Willie's. He brings Si a plate of his dressing and puts it in front of him and said, Si, I made Dad's dressing. What do you think? Si took a bite. Nope. Ain't no good. Just do away.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

1434.119

Yeah. I sold the boat. Sold the boat.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

1439.562

That's right. Well, to be specific, my wife wanted a new car. Well, hey, there you go. So I sold my boat. Johnny did know that life.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

1488.998

You got to train your kids early to do it. Cut the rib cage out.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

150.681

I don't get it. Well, we do have a little wintry mix on the way. You know what that means.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

1572.359

I like squirrel and dumplings.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

1578.641

Somebody was talking about dove and dumplings the other day. Were you there?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

161.403

The whole state of Louisiana is going to shut down, and it usually means there will be a movement Of duck. Of waterfowl. With that. Yeah. They ain't been moving so far. Well, moved a little this morning, didn't they?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

1754.183

Well, me and Mark were going to take you to Arkansas, but then we looked at the forecast and low 20s.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

176.657

It was actually kind of fun for a minute. It gets old slick riled up. Your nephews, we had 40 pintails working around this morning.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

190.428

I couldn't believe he didn't call a shot.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

1926.576

Well, they have every right to. Yeah. Because we don't know how to act when this happens.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

1952.012

It ain't going to freeze. But it still can, in the atmosphere, if it's cold enough up top.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

1968.65

But can there be ice on the road when it's 35 degrees? I don't think so.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

20.316

You're in, Hunter. You're in, Hunter.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

237.258

The first thing that happened, Woody came in there and lit, and he missed it.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

2373.654

i got a new playlist where it's just creed wait are you on like that vegetable fast again because you get kind of moody when you don't know i'm not i'm in a different thing okay high protein baby okay good i bench pressed this morning what that song oh my radio pretty much stays on whiskey myers radio whiskey i like little little country with a little bit of kick to it yeah

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

242.961

no i wasn't gonna bring that up but i will say this i've hunted with that man for 30 plus years and i've never seen him do that i've seen so i do it a lot but what hey what do you think he said when he did it he had some excuse what was it it was hey brush was in the way that's exactly what dang dang dang all right

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

2475.924

Well, you ought to be a Whiskey Myers guy. I've never heard of them. They're modern-day Leonard Skinner. Really? Yes, sir. Yeah, pretty much.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

2667.984

A mascot? What is this guy's name? A mascot off a cereal box.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

328.19

But then after that, he got in the P-row, and he was gone for about an hour. Well, he missed another one. He couldn't handle it.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

368.194

But when he got back, he made two of the most incredible shots you've ever seen. Yeah. He just had to get it. He knows himself. Yeah. He had to get it out of there.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

540.19

Not if they do the helicopter.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

576.179

It's a nice shovel. It is a nice shovel. I think it's one of his gold treasure hunting shovels.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

720.204

What kind of grass is that? It's a broom sedge. So I got this broom sedge growing for buffers for our deer stand so we can get in and out without the deer.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

732.487

Jace has pulled up all of our buffer on the hilltop over there. Yeah. We got out there this morning.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

752.176

It took me four years to get that growing. And he's going to go dig up all the buffers.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

771.744

I told him, I said, you're digging up my buffer. He said, what? I said, my buffer? Yeah, for us to get out of the deer blind without just burping the deer. He said, I ain't worried about no stupid deer. He said, go plant you something else.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

796.007

He got all hopped up on that European coffee. Yeah. On that Espresso. European. Switzerland, he said.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

811.377

skimp back so far back that he blew the top off stone deer feeder on the front i got it i got a deer a corn slinger on the front of that's my work rig yeah i use it every day and he just got in there and just stomped stomped the pedal through the floorboard the whole lid on my Corn spreader slung off. He just kept on going. He kept on trucking. Just like he was trying to tear it up.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

892.912

That was a pleasant, fun duck hunt this morning. Yeah, I laughed.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

905.132

Them gadwalls were pretty coming in there and killed a few mallards. We had a good bunch of mallards. My sphincter tightened up on me and I made a bad call.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

915.483

A little bit early. A little bit early.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

918.526

Old Slick was out of the blind. I wasn't sure where he was.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

929.239

You go take a leak, guess what? Yeah. Here they come. Stretch that hand call out. Remember that time those gadwalls, me, you, and Godwin were out there and those gadwalls came in while you were taking a leak?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Weird Cooking Caused His Teeth to Fall Out

945.925

Wrong weapon in my hand. He had that .410. He said, that weapon used to be deadly. Old Red Ryder. Now he just pointed things with it.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1012.74

I got to be honest. Hey, Bongo Boutique, baby. I feel like if you needed strawberry or raspberry, it is just way easier to go get strawberries and raspberries than it is to milk a beaver's butthole. I don't eat raspberries. I'm never eating anything again. Some farm knowledge. This is disturbing. And why did you know this?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1109.65

I haven't, I'd had to get Carter in here to tell me about the farmers. I didn't even get one.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1153.91

You know what's better than a cup of Jell-O? That plate with the Jell-O upside down. Oh, the mold. From Piccadilly.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1178.705

I know what we're talking about, but I'm into it. Unbelievable. This year's Farmer's Almanac has a thing in it about raising chickens. They got it all in there. I know eggs have gone up, but it is not worth having chickens in your backyard.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1197.017

No, hold on. Can we just... This kid watches like anime and like, hey, I'm going to go to watch Barbie and Austin. And you think he's like... Can't a nerd have chickens? See, that's what it is. Like, yeah, but chickens in your backyard. That's what I'm into. I just can't figure you out.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

122.267

I don't pay that much attention to you, Hunter. I'm just kidding. Do you really have a twin? You've met her.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1252.469

Oh, was it that night at Popeye's?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

137.379

Josh, you're in charge of getting this person. We have more questions for Hunter. The only person that can answer them is a person that once shared a womb with him. You think I'm anxious.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

14.224

They've been clamoring for this moment for Hunter to get back in a chair.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1404.577

My sister's on Nutrafol now. And we have another story. I'm not going to say her name because I haven't asked her if I can say her name. But one of our friends, very dear friends, my wife, your hair looks really good. She goes, I started Nutrafol.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1515.33

Yeah, has survived. If I lost that much blood, I think they'd just call it a day on me.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1526.021

That's enough blood to, like, that's more than you donate.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1577.557

No, no, this is a family show.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1579.879

We've only talked about beavers' butts and raspberries. We can't show blood on it.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1621.566

Some people, not worth hearing from.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1689.417

He's worried about you. You're a chronic person that would end up in Brazil.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1703.162

You're like on Netflix, too, now, man. You've got to stop. I find them fascinating.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1709.304

In the words of Willie Robertson, I could never be part of one.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1712.845

I could run one. You could run one.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

178.951

Because there's a girl version of him out there somewhere?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1877.467

That makes you on par with the rest of them.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1886.216

As someone who went to high school with you, she's not lying.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1895.507

My age group does of Robertsons. There you go. Yeah, so you're a year older than me?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1933.893

So you're a deer hunter. Yeah.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1936.134

So you're a lot like Willie.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1939.116

Your uncle. But people are going to have a conniption because we never describe who new people are. Yeah. You are Al's youngest daughter.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1955.881

She might stick stone on you.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1965.805

Wouldn't that be true? Anna would just sit there and look at you.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

1997.83

I feel like I just need to go there to visit.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2006.84

Pastry school sounds phenomenal.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2044.192

She's part of the Duck Call Room, Unashamed.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2094.763

I get that spring's here and we got a bunch to say, but I'm exploring fastgrowingtrees.com, and I just found something called an ice cream banana tree.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2104.191

A fast-growing, cold-tolerant variety. Our ice cream banana tree is known for its hearty qualities and delicious taste, especially since it produces fruit that actually tastes like ice cream.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2132.258

I didn't even know there was such a thing.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2174.759

Sugar love pineapple plant. We've got to go further south.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2369.358

So you're driving all the way past the Buc-ee's.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

239.78

So y'all, you just said, no, I didn't mean her clothing. You wore matching clothes? Yeah, we wore matching clothes. But they were boys and girls. It's 2025, man. We got to specify.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2417.663

Hey, that's like watching paint dry. That one hurt. But I will say, there is something to going to a bigger city to get your tattoo.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2427.591

Because there's a reason these three fonts are very different.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2434.537

You know, Lottie's name looks better because I happen to be in Nashville. Lottie's name. Carter and Ben's? Not going to say where, but not as impressive.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2482.194

Again, black sheep. That was a great Lisa.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2509.408

The fact that Al has just Al tattooed on his forearm and he did it himself.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2558.137

Why did you tattoo the word Al on yourself? Like, were you afraid you'd forget it? He goes, well, John David, I was drunk.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2578.728

No. Martin liked to sub that job out. Are you worried she's going to get it too big?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2700.884

Black sheep of the family, y'all. Okay. Something wild's about to come out your mouth.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2727.98

Why? It's because our friends at MyPillow have a passion to help everyone get the best sleep of their life.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2737.947

They can't stop. They won't stop.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2904.459

Actually, I do want people to feel like that.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2964.162

I kind of want Alex and Stone. Of course, what people don't know on the same episode. You know what?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

2970.747

They're neighbors, brother-in-law. What's it like being Stone's brother-in-law? Well, I'm his sister-in-law, first of all. Whatever. What's it like having Stone as a brother-in-law? That's a real Al and Lisa catch.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

309.929

We're not talking about this. You wear pajama pants and hoodies every day, and now you're like, oh, I want to look professional. There it is.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

3115.923

Yeah, we're all real right in the middle.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

3121.807

Whose birthday is this week? Is one of them this week? Doc?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

3132.875

So pretty close. Carter's 11 and 358th of 65th or something.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

3224.549

Well, first time in 60 years.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

3235.451

There you go. Isaiah 118. Come now, let us settle the matter, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow. Though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. Alex, you might be the black sheep of the Robertsons, but you're always welcome in here. And if you feel like a black sheep out there, There's a place for you, and it's with Jesus.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

3267.205

No way, Hunter. Hunter, you're the black sheep of everything. Yeah.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

3275.108

Weirdos of the Duck Call Room unite. Yeah.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

334.637

I got the best one ever. Whatever you, boy. Yeah. Mine's a straight lie, too. I had this paper football thing where you had a suction cup and you would stick it on the table and you'd flick the paper football. Well, I took that suction cup and put it square on my forehead. And I didn't know. And then I was trying to hit it and flick the football through the uprights over my head.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

358.208

But I left that suction cup on my forehead for about 30 minutes. And when I took that sucker off, I had sixth grade. Had to go to school with a squared up suction cup on my forehead.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

373.258

There you go. But then I was like, wow, I look like an idiot. And my friends are going to make fun of me for putting a suction cup on my forehead. So I pulled a hunter.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

388.147

Got all nervous. I told everybody I got a new paintball gun and we were testing it out. My dad accidentally shot me in the forehead.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

437.592

I think we need to have your parents in here. You were wearing dresses. They were kicking your sister in the face.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

477.026

I don't even know how to respond to the last eight minutes.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

493.717

Hold on. yeah you're terrified of putting a camera on yourself so but you're like hey the person who known me more than anybody and at one point hated me and shared clothes with me let's bring her in i'm a little bit more comfortable now my sister would be like oh yeah way worse than me you're doing a great job we gotta bring we gotta bring her in

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

533.044

People have been saying that about me for years. Some of us just move.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

547.492

Normally there's a T-shirt with Crony Omeglo Gablecon on it.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

557.218

Oh, is it the possum in the mountain? It is.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

561.843

You can't mountain do what's already been mountain done.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

574.164

He drives around looking for old places to shop. Yeah. Well, when I was a kid, to get weird T-shirts, you had to go into that one store in the mall, but you didn't want anybody to see you in there. That's right.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

590.282

I had a t-shirt that said, guns don't kill people. People with mustaches kill people. And I wore it to school and teachers laughed. Yeah. Because 2004 was way cooler than it is in 2025.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

604.831

I would get thrown out of school for wearing that now.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

61.175

You got to be kidding me. Oh, no. I was.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

637.267

Hey, we're excited to announce, introduce, and love a brand new partner to our show. It wasn't a company being like, hey, we wanted to do that. No, this was a company we saw. We believe in what they stood for. We believe in what they stand for. Love the product, and we wanted them to advertise on our show.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

64.357

Well, he thought he got bit by a snake, and in the Bible, he got bit by a snake.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

653.753

Of course, you know I'm talking about Pure Talk, America's Wireless Company, whose CEO is a veteran and served a couple tours in theater. And, you know, the best part about them, if you need to get a hold of them, you're not going to be talking to somebody in some call center in some country that you can't pronounce. They're going to be in good old Covington, Georgia. Isn't that right, Martin?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

690.665

The average family saves over $1,000 a year on their cell phone bill. You can keep your phone, keep your number, or choose from the latest iPhones and Androids. Switching is easy. Because I'm a Pure Talk customer. And they do great stuff for veterans, which is what we super support. Stone's a veteran. Cy's a veteran.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

7.091

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Duck Call Room.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

706.896

They've donated $50,000 to provide scholarships to support veterans learning trades after active duty. They're helping to eliminate veteran debt, and they're raising donations to end veteran suicide. So they put their money where their mouth is and support great causes that... As Americans, I think we can all get behind. So just go to puretalk.com slash dunk to save 50% off your first month.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

729.132

Make the switch today at puretalk.com slash dunk and join America's wireless company, Pure Talk.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

74.086

Well, if he really got bit by a snake, I was going to put this one up so he could look at it and not die.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

757.563

Makes all the difference. He's south of Ruston.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

766.067

Okay. He's down by Weston and Quitman.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

771.669

I know those people. Those are my people too.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

781.311

My only friend from Rustin is Carl Malone.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

799.334

You don't know the mailman?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

803.876

Mailman deliver even on Sundays whenever it's Carmelone.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

819.703

Yeah, chasing rabbits. Oh, I want one. Yeah, but if we go down the basketball player route, we're going to lose Hunter fast. Yeah. He's not going to have a lot to add to that.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

838.454

Here he's got some ponds. There was a dead squirrel in my driveway yesterday. Well, not in my driveway, right in front of my house.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

911.852

Get him out. Uh-oh. Wait a minute. What are you talking about? They don't grow nutrient to make raspberry ice cream. Oh, no, no, no.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

961.803

This is worse than we ever... Put it up there. Nope. I'm just going to read it. It can't be... Because put earmuffs over your children if you don't want them to know some things.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

971.868

Castoreum is an additive used in some foods that originates... From a beaver. From the beaver's castor stack. It's worse. Right around the old booty canal.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Introduces the Other Robertson Black Sheep

987.605

Okay. Many raspberry and strawberry flavored foods contain this oil.

Duck Call Room

Jase Robertson’s Wife Did Not Hold Back When a Stranger Sat on His Lap

237.316

You need to get Apple TV to check it out. What actor are you talking about?

Duck Call Room

Jase Robertson’s Wife Did Not Hold Back When a Stranger Sat on His Lap

243.338

Oh, I thought you guys were talking about George Clooney. No, George Clooney's not in that show. No, Hunter, he's not in that show.

Duck Call Room

Jase Robertson’s Wife Did Not Hold Back When a Stranger Sat on His Lap

278.797

yeah well we're not allowed to be loud today wait a minute we went in the farm in calhoun where are you from again i'm from like phil's area yeah he's down from phil's oh okay yeah his grandpa is a farmer yeah he's from a little place called luna no like i think these headphones because i wear them all day to edit i think they just trap everything in my ears and then when the weather changes it just throws everything off do you not shower well no put some soap on your ears man

Duck Call Room

Jase Robertson’s Wife Did Not Hold Back When a Stranger Sat on His Lap

3095.591

Well, originally we were going to go tonight to go see it. But now me, my friends and my sister are going to go to Shreveport and go watch it in a fancy theater. We're going to dress up.

Duck Call Room

Jase Robertson’s Wife Did Not Hold Back When a Stranger Sat on His Lap

3173.487

They're going to drive. We're going to dress fancy. We're going to go to the Minecraft movie because it'll be funny.

Duck Call Room

Jase Robertson’s Wife Did Not Hold Back When a Stranger Sat on His Lap

3185.782

I mean, no. Oh, my gosh. This is the whitest thing I've ever heard. My friends wanted to do it, and it sounded fun. What is this? Hey, calm down, DeWitt.

Duck Call Room

Jase Robertson’s Wife Did Not Hold Back When a Stranger Sat on His Lap

361.939

I mean, not in a drawer. Right next to it.

Duck Call Room

Jase Robertson’s Wife Did Not Hold Back When a Stranger Sat on His Lap

374.671

Yep. Well, Friday was really weird. I had to call in. Shocker. No, like... Apparently fluid built up behind my ear, threw off my equilibrium, and I thought I was driving drunk on my way in.

Duck Call Room

Jase Robertson’s Wife Did Not Hold Back When a Stranger Sat on His Lap

536.482

like maybe once a month dude a month but that's still how many hot pockets do you eat not many i've i've been trying to eat healthier within the last two years and i've been doing a pretty good job hey yeah either you do or you don't there's no such thing as try oh oh wow okay everybody stones back in the build well i think that was a yoda quote no no no i something i used to do with my clients

Duck Call Room

Jase Robertson’s Wife Did Not Hold Back When a Stranger Sat on His Lap

637.904

Look, I said I was trying. I am eating healthier. Thank you.

Duck Call Room

Jase Robertson’s Wife Did Not Hold Back When a Stranger Sat on His Lap

856.982

I want to. I wanted to, but my friends told me not to do it.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1016.702

We'll make friends. You got to get that guy on your side.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1058.914

Oh, yeah, because you used to slip up and make a mistake. You're on Fox News.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1064.296

Justin Martin of Duck Dynasty shot 50 ducks because his auto renew didn't go through.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

112.881

I had the first carb I've had in three weeks last night, and I almost pooped my pants in the Chick-fil-A drive-thru this morning.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1152.299

Well, it's the government's involved, so that's the end of it. But we pulled it off.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1168.607

What have I done now? You shouldn't have to buy a license, though. There should be an age where it's just like they do what they want.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

122.356

Well, I got the egg white grill. It's a healthy one.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

125.618

But you know how in the Chick-fil-A drive-thru, you can't get out.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

131.322

Beads of sweat were forming on the forehead.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

139.128

And then I get to the window, and I feel relief. I'm like, all right, I'm going to make it to work. And they're like, can you please pull forward? We'll have that out in a second. I'm like, oh, no. But at that point, I feel like I could have escaped. So the pressure was relieved.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1392.361

Add a few words that weren't in the original.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1415.71

I was once in a, I'm not going to say who's fault it was.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1421.595

Or what happened. There was a gun accident. I was sitting with a buddy. He was cleaning a gun. We were inside and it was a 22 small gun. And all of a sudden we're both sitting there. And I just go, and he never says anything. He just sits there and goes, muzzle direction of the utmost importance. And that's all we ever said about it. And there was a hole in the wall.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1445.552

But he was sure when he was cleaning, the muzzle wasn't pointed at anything, but that sucker went off.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

153.765

You could have come back and got your breakfast. That was about a $9 Coke Zero, but instead I got my breakfast.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1534.663

Muzzle direction. Me and Carter have been talking about gun safety every night.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1539.285

Before he even gets one. He's still training, huh? We're in the talking stages of training. How old is he? Ten.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1547.267

Oh, it's time. We waited, but now he watches Duck Dynasty all the time now. He wants to be a duck hunter. So we're going to get it.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1584.176

Oh, he's going. He keeps talking about it.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1599.32

We're going to give that teal to you and we're going to stop by Chick-fil-A on the way home.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

16.407

Ty's going to do this with no microphone.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1714.256

He kind of stained... There's the big dogs all over. They're at the beginning watching you if you walk down the road, and then they're at the end at Jeff and Jessica's house staring at you.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1752.839

I don't think I've ever had a good dog.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1858.982

Yep. We got a lot of customers. Some of them old retired guys, they'll just show up, and there'll be them and their Blue Heeler just right there in the passenger seat, just like that.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

186.828

It's a problem. It happens to everybody.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1874.21

I think so, yeah. I had one when I was a kid named Rocco. He didn't make it. It's a bad street for dogs.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

192.111

I've talked... My buddy Drew has some of the greatest poop in his pants story ever. When he lived in Dallas, he got stuck in that ice storm.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1927.138

oh boy hunter we got voicemails you said we got extra voicemails oh do we yeah let's go heavy on it then three one eight two one five six five five nine did i get it right finally all right

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1944.17

I don't even know if that was right, by the way, but it was so fast, I'm going to pretend it was. I think that is right. I think that was right. I've been working on it. I think I finally got it. 318-615-25. Nope. Just messed it all up. Do what Martin said. Go, Hunter.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1971.944

There's no way to guess where Garrett's from.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1986.02

What a fun, light topic. What did he say?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

1998.725

I've never had any close encounters. I had one guy shoot over my head that made me feel that that was too close, and I said, I'm going home at this very moment. It just ended everything right then.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

200.171

And he couldn't get home. And he was just stuck on the interstate for an hour. And he's like, I'm never going to make it. And he makes it. Gets out of his car. Steps on the sidewalk. Ice. And he slips about three inches. Well, all muscles relaxed. Pooped in his driveway. Sad day. You ever pooped your pants, Martin? No.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2173.53

You're keenly aware of all surroundings.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2233.513

It's actually good that somebody is doing that. And that's why every hunt I ever go on is with these fellas. And if they're not taking me, I'm at home.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2296.033

the safety retreat man yeah you got a dog running back and forth down the shooting porch that's what happened to old boy from sterlington his dog stepped on his gun yeah yeah put a loaded gun in the back of the ring yeah yeah yeah be safe out there oh yeah all right what else is he make this fun hunter uh do you want to guess where he's from i don't know that's arkansas missouri just going with a place a lot of hunter very plain voice indiana all right starting the next one

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2344.738

Well, you've been shot before. Ask 50 Cent, not me.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2368.513

Carter's got a lot of scars on his belly. One we call the gunshot. One we call a knife wound. That's not what it is. Well, I guess the knife wound probably technically is a knife.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2380.662

You ever tried to pick up a girl with an injury?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2421.596

no offense but does y'all's barbecue suck that bad yes yes better unequivocally yes time out stop it no stop it we are from louisiana we don't we're not like oh kansas barbecue north carolina oh missouri oh tech we don't do it yeah we're not good at it yeah if it ain't got rice in it louisiana falls behind like yeah we like good barbecue and bucky's has good barbecue

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2475.878

Yeah, it's about convenience and quality versus... It's better than any barbecue we have, though.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2487.071

I don't know of one. Jax is pretty good. That's a new one. That's new to the squad. Jax is pretty good.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2509.629

They're uppity people. Barbecue people are uppity.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2515.531

Best fried chicken I ever had came from a gas station. Yeah. Continue. Let's hear uppity Jennifer.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2545.074

Time out. Time out. Whose aunt works on an oil rig?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2555.919

I apologize for calling you uppity, Jennifer. I'm nervous about your whole family now.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2607.614

I bet your water slides are better than ours too.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2624.793

Texas pride is a thing that... You know how America, all of the rest of the world's like, why do they wear American flag swimsuits and drink barbecue and Miller Lite on the 4th of July? And they all think we're weirdos. But that's how the rest of America looks at Texas.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2648.842

Oh, Whataburger. Good. Texas is awesome. I like Texas.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

265.712

There's no clothes that I own that if it happens that I'm washing.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2668.358

Why is that a thing that, why is like Carolina, the Kansas city and Texas all just in a fight?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2748.139

I don't know that I've ever met a female oil rig. I mean, not saying that they couldn't, but I need to meet Ant that hates buckies.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

275.029

I might have a pair of shoes that I'd be like, I have to figure this out. But most things I own, trash can.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

283.378

Waiters are expensive, so that's double jeopardy.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2911.512

I told you he's a foreigner. He's a foreigner. Well, first off, and now everybody's heard that.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2929.522

Did they name them after this Si and that Jace?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2933.283

Or is this pure coincidence? No, I had to.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

2992.358

Martin, did you almost name your twin boys Cy and Jace? Mm-mm. Didn't cross the mind? No.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

3018.216

Oh, Luke 5, 31. Jesus answered to them, It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. And because of that hope, no sickness can get us down. And Jesus is a great physician. He can heal Miss Janelle. So we're going to be praying for her. Thank you for tuning in to the Duck Call Room. Yeah, keep calling, man.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

325.529

I don't care. What were you going to buy?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

375.272

Hunter's the most interesting person. We've talked about it many times. He is an interesting person. There's not many people that can fit into a duck blind with Jay Stone and also go to Comic-Con in a costume and make friends there as well. There's just not many human beings that can pull that off.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

400.887

He fits in anywhere. It's actually a talent.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

43.694

You let people know we actually try to make a show here. We're not just winging it. We're just mostly winging it.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

430.151

he's an interesting cat too and they all got neat t-shirts that you sometimes all my family's interesting i don't know does he send y'all the t-shirts they're not appropriate for this podcast but it's it's a riot tsa would frisk hunter's whole family my whole family's weird they're they're all interesting well that's good oh otherwise you'd be boring yeah that's that's pretty lame

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

465.115

Well, he sells other people's clothes, which is genius. Yeah. I'm not here anymore, but I keep up with most things, just Instagram and when I'm in here. But we don't talk about what is the duck and buck boys?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

522.556

Nobody really knows how old John Reed is.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

550.631

I've never even seen him drive a car come to think of it.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

608.778

Yeah. He moved to this side of the interstate.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

649.873

Why sleeping? It's because our friends at MyPillow have a passion to help everyone get the best sleep of their life.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

7.125

Let's start the show. Let's just do it. Let's just see what happens, Hunter.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

791.013

Oh, well, you have a... I have an account.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

832.161

You know your big time when you slip and fall and you get on Fox News.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

876.894

We told the story in great detail. Duck call room episode.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

905.873

I'm glad they at least got that part right.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

920.646

Martin said on Monday's episode, recapping the incident, he went to take a long step instead of waiting for us to move the decoys and the shotgun, a BDH, a big dang hurry.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

93.075

I'm supposed to get Allison some hair thing for Valentine's Day, but it's expensive.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

960.847

Hunter, so far, me and you are the only ones that have it, man.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si's Hospitalization Gets Martin in Big Trouble with the Feds

976.793

Well, that fits. Oh, boy. How many times did we see Joe Biden trip over sandbags all of his bike and stumble down the stairs?

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Gets Emotional Over Phil’s Incredible Life & Transformation

1337.389

I've got to. I wasn't able to do it this morning. You weren't able to do it. Hunter actually brought this to me. Hunter, thank you.

Duck Call Room

Uncle Si Gets Emotional Over Phil’s Incredible Life & Transformation

1377.604

And you're going to need it for your gut health. You're going to spend the money anyway. So drink AG1. It's going to make you feel a lot better.

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

1197.359

Yeah, I did. She sat with me and Alex and the guy that- And Jackie. Cory, that helps. Who's Jackie?

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

1209.026

Jackie's, well, dadgum. Oh, no. Hey, Hunter. I ain't got no rivet. When we all started sitting at that table, he just left.

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

1220.778

That seems about right. A bunch of young people and he was gone. No, I guarantee you Jackie walked away saying, man, bunch of nerds.

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

1256.147

Yeah, y'all are committed. I've never even brought Allison to a work Christmas party. I thought I was going to go by myself because all my coworkers were going out of town. So, I don't want to...

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

1270.947

Yeah. They had other families to get to.

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

1299.435

no thanks anyway they did a a raffle did you get yeah and um i won this uh this uh this griddle this blackstone griddle really yeah yeah that was pretty cool i wanted that thing five people walked up to it and then no one grabbed it i was like what's everyone doing that's like the nicest thing because they don't cook at that table well i haven't cooked on it yet either but it's been a month hunter

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

1328.073

That's what I'm talking about. I'm working on a table to put it in front of my apartment so that way I can cook in front of my apartment with it because it doesn't have legs or anything.

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

1338.717

I hope so. Good point. You're going to come over?

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

1351.302

But I had to get out of there early. Too many people were talking to me about it, and it was freaking me out. About what? About your girlfriend? The griddle.

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

1882.725

John Davis, the majority of that sounds like what you pack for students going on a field trip.

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

2054.125

Not that long ago because the vending machine in the break room has them. Does it really? Yeah. There's Yoohoos in this building right now? Yes, right now. Do you need a dollar or two dollars?

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

2454.951

Nope, he didn't say. You got a flip phone, bud?

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

2636.729

Earl. What else you got, Hunter? This one's more directed for John David. I don't like these. We won't get many of those. I thought it'd be fun.

Duck Call Room

Godwin Calls It Quits at Duck Commander After 25 Years

2871.866

hunter what would you say you're good at uh hold on no continue uh i play a lot of a lot of horror based games but one of my favorites is called doom okay it's from like 1993 and they just keep making new ones okay so you just kill demons ah well hey that's something we're doing every day right

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

103.852

Oh, wow. Call your new girlfriend a stubborn old lady.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1102.297

Allison can cook, but she's on some mission to find crockpot recipes that work. And I'm thinking about it. Well, it's easy. You just throw it in there, turn it on, and leave it. So she wants to find stuff that's good, but we ain't done it yet. Nothing? Like one roast was good. But I'm thinking about just showing up in a crock pot.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

122.99

My cousin Heath did tell us that when we were all like, he was older. And like our youth minister, he said, look at her mom. She will become that.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1224.736

It's that beautiful time of year. It's that beautiful time of year. Spring is here, baby. Praise the Lord. It's time to transform your backyard into a dream outdoor space. And the best way to do that?

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1273.712

I'm big into this part of their website where it says your yard needs privacy. Amen. You are correct. I am a hermit.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1305.337

A full speed of hedge. I halfway want to spend money just because of how much I like that name.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1353.096

If I did, I wouldn't ask him if he liked it. I'd just leave before I ever found out.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1464.554

I need Allison to watch this and realize how nice I was about how bad that was last night.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1509.162

Every time I took a bite last night, I was thinking a sigh just right here in my ear going, rest of your life if you say it's good.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1618.631

There's a way to do it. I was successful last night because Allison then finally said, yeah, it wasn't no good.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1625.18

She was going to get the leftovers, and she was like, does anybody want this before I throw it in the party?

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1662.694

The other problem was I saw Allison's grocery order yesterday, and there was three New York strips on it. So I also thought I was going – walking into steak and vegetables.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1675.972

Yeah. And I walk into the crock pot and I'm like, oh.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1683.194

She cooking the strips tonight. I just had the dates confused.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1694.577

Oh, no, I'll save that for the end. Just chew on it while I'm watching TV.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1712.739

I made two of them tonight. Two of them. I'm hungry. I'm a growing boy.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1732.289

Well, that's because Si goes too hard to paint.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1770.905

I'm telling you. We've all, everyone. Under this roof that has ever been on any sort of camera has had somebody just ream them out in a comment, except for Si.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1837.427

The fact that we've had, I don't know how many successful podcasts come out of the Robertson and Duck Commander because we can actually somehow try and take turns in here is kind of impressive.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

185.843

I guess it'll end when I get married. None of us have any love interest at all.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1851.713

We're seeing if me or Scott can be there.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1912.473

Yeah, the only time I got in trouble last night, I said, where'd you even get that recipe? Pinterest?

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1921.158

That's a terrible place for recipes. Just follow the pioneer woman. January's come and gone. Hope you're doing good on those resolutions. I know we've all made some. But if you made any health-related resolutions and AG1 wasn't part of the equation, you've probably gotten off track. But it's not too late to get started today because AG1 is the easiest thing you can do for your health.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1944.936

Make it the one habit you'll actually stick with. Si?

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1951.229

One scoop will do you. In just 60 seconds every day, AG1 is the simplest thing you can do to support your whole body health. There's no complicated prep. You don't have to worry about mixing and matching all those pills and other things, powders, because AG1's got it all right there in one scoop. Stone? Stone?

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1975.429

It'll do the job. It'll keep you regular. Gut health, focus. It's got everything you need. They got a team of scientists that have come up with this. We're all up here drinking it all the time, but I got it in the break room up here. It's never too late to create a new healthy habit for 2025, so try AG1 for yourself.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

1993.118

It's something I've actually been able to stay consistent with, and that's why we've been partnered with AG1 for so long. And AG1 is offering new subscribers a free $76 gift when you sign up. You'll get a welcome kit, a bottle of D3K2, and five free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out drinkag1.com to get this offer, drinkag1.com to start your new year on a healthier note.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2048.94

When we cook stuff good, it's at 900 degrees.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2111.806

the trends i'd saw you you know who i saw yesterday who david martinez oh yeah oh he called me told me he was going to the honey hole bought a fishing pole to go he lives on the bayou what's that to what people at the jujitsu place when he said yeah he came in right after i ate the purple belt I'm not going to wrestle him. He came in right after I had, we'll call it a unruly customer.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2140.566

Yeah. If you ever worked in retail, you're going to be having a great day. And then one person's going to come in there and just take a dump right on your counter. That's not what literally happened, but figuratively it did. And so then I was like, man, I said, I was about ready to wrestle. And then you showed up and I knew I shouldn't. And he said, well, you need to come to jujitsu.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2159.358

And I was like, I said, Stone once put me on the ground in two seconds.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2169.182

I could breathe for longer now. I wouldn't gas out, but I would get whooped.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2187.498

I do think I need therapy. Yeah. Because yesterday I was about ready to take a catfish bowl to people.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2200.044

That's what I said. David said you need to come to jujitsu, and I was like, see, now that Stone's on Instagram, I'm getting a better feel. And I saw Stone get flung on the ground by a grown human, and Stone has flung me on the ground, so I just don't— I like how that adds up.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2303.977

And you're going to quit after they give you pain. I believe I can quote Justin Martin whenever he said, old Johnny D, he got a lot of quit in him.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2410.249

He wasn't on the football field in Oklahoma.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2457.085

You were a linebacker at Oklahoma in the 80s.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2475.975

Because I took a quiz. Yeah. And it told me exactly what I needed to sleep on every night.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2494.181

I'm going to take the quiz right now. Right now.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2503.046

Yeah, I might get a different mattress now that I'm not such a heavyset fella. Same mattress. I'm still the same. Boom.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2524.536

And I have that one that it just told me to get and I can attest to. I love it. And if somebody took my mattress, I would take their life. So you haven't changed. I haven't changed. You're still the same person you was when you did take the test the first time. And I love that mattress.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2603.206

I tell my kids when we're just on the golf cart to buckle up when we pass the stone household and just go fast.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2719.265

I do want to wrestle Rucker. I want to take Rucker down.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2733.917

Oh, yeah. Well, so whenever I was like, I'm going to do a pull-up, he was like, oh, I can do one. And I was like, no, you can't.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2740.504

Well, he does the whole swing and pull-up.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2752.634

He keeps telling me he's going to come jump rope with me.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2767.119

Well, when you grew up on the streets, you know, you got to be athletic.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2810.206

This one, I had it starred. It was a maybe, but with Stone talking about Sage whooping people, I was like, well. This is a perfect one. Subject line, he's struggling with being a good dad. Small town, Illinois. Loves the podcast. He has a three-year-old daughter, another daughter on the way. He's been training to become a paramedic, which is apparently a lot of work.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2833.86

And he's a firefighter slash paramedic. So he's always out. Like he's out for, and we thank you for doing that first responders rule. Yep. But that does take them away from home sometimes at hours that, you know, if you had a standard nine to five, you'd be home. Also, kids at two are rough. Martin, any?

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

2857.027

Yeah. And now she's three. And well, she's just as crazy as she was when she was two. She's one of them three majors. But he just feels like he's coming up short in his duty to being a good godly head of the household and being a good dad. And now he's got another one showing up and he's terrified.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

3020.003

That would be more worrisome because that means you're just absent all the time and you just don't care. But you clearly care, and being a dad is just really tough. It's the hardest job I have ever had.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

3033.647

And I had to babysit Willie for eight years, so.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

3053.474

If that means you're going to try harder and when you are home, you're going to do stuff.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

3066.519

Can't screw them up too bad until they're five. Unless they're Carter, then they'll be like, Dad, you remember on the day after my fourth birthday, whenever you said, I'm like, golly.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

3080.15

Yeah, you got to watch him. And he's going to own a gun next week after his birthday.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

3087.434

When you hear the 410 going off in the neighborhood, don't worry. It's just me and Carter.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

3103.424

Uh-oh. I saw that beaver, yeah. We saw it one night.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

3120.917

All right, 1 Thessalonians 2, 11 and 12. For you know that we dealt with each of you. It's a Bible verse. It's hard to read. I don't know. 1 Thessalonians 2, 11 and 12. For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live lives worthy of God who calls you to his kingdom and glory.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

3143.178

If you're a dad out there that's like, am I doing a good job? Encourage, comfort, and urge them to live lives worthy of God. That's what we're called to do.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

475.148

You know, they're going to, he's going to be like, okay, that's fine. But whatever they bring me is what I'm eating or I'm going home.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

572.924

I got a new subscription last night. What'd you get? It's a TV show. I just wanted to watch, but there's other TV. I just wanted to watch the one.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

579.632

And so now when you finish it, I'm going to accidentally pay. No, I'm not. Cause I have rocket money and they're going to keep me in line.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

692.046

No, I walked in the house last night and immediately knew something was wrong.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

697.57

No. No, I walked in. I said, what's for dinner? She said, you'll see. I said, nope. Uh-oh. This is a bad deal. She already knows I don't want it. Yeah. She tried some new crock pot recipe. Uh-oh. It was terrible. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Carter was the only one that ate it. Then she got mad at me. I fixed a tiny bowl. I was like, there's some hot dogs in the fridge.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

725.652

I made four hot dogs, two for me, each kid a hot dog that wasn't eating that garbage. Then she looked at me and was like, I mean, and I said, whoa, whoa, whoa. I said, you can't be mad at me because you made something that you don't like.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

743.404

it was some sort of cheese ravioli and there was sausage. I said, what kind of sausage is this? That messed up?

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

753.754

No, it was like kielbasa or something. I said, this is like Vienna sausage.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

761.081

And then she tried to save it by throwing chicken in there. It was like, now we're just wasting chicken. Now you're just wasting chicken now.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

769.103

And she was mad for a minute. And I was like, I can't eat this again in life.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

907.428

She didn't know what kielbasa was, so she just went with it.

Duck Call Room

Phil Robertson Might Be Aging but His Food Critiques Are Still on Point

989.939

If I ever bit into what I thought was a crescent roll with a pig in a blanket and it was a sausage, I would throw up.

Duck Call Room

John Godwin’s Wife Won’t Let Him Retire in Peace

1785.104

I think we might have some, actually. You want me to go find it for you real quick?

Duck Call Room

John Godwin’s Wife Won’t Let Him Retire in Peace

1791.511

Just talk bad about me while I'm gone.

Duck Call Room

John Godwin’s Wife Won’t Let Him Retire in Peace

1926.878

And I texted someone to make you a cup of coffee.

Duck Call Room

John Godwin’s Wife Won’t Let Him Retire in Peace

229.431

Real quick, I don't mean to sound needy. Si, can you make sure you're pretty close to the mic?

Duck Call Room

John Godwin’s Wife Won’t Let Him Retire in Peace

2743.024

No comment. Now that'd be tight.

Duck Call Room

John Godwin’s Wife Won’t Let Him Retire in Peace

2748.769

I don't know if this story has been told before.

Duck Call Room

John Godwin’s Wife Won’t Let Him Retire in Peace

2754.158

Turn it on. Now shut up. Okay. Again, I don't know if this one's been told before. What? Yeah. How would it not have been told?

Duck Call Room

John Godwin’s Wife Won’t Let Him Retire in Peace

2996.411

Yeah. I just like the way she said it, you know? Yeah. She loved Jesus. Hunter, you ever left somebody a voicemail like that? Not once. Quit playing.

Duck Call Room

John Godwin’s Wife Won’t Let Him Retire in Peace

620.415

I like some Kendrick Lamar.

Duck Call Room

John Godwin’s Wife Won’t Let Him Retire in Peace

836.579

His country album wasn't that bad, actually.

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin’s Twins Catch the Flu & He Doesn’t Handle It Well

2773.383

North Kackalacky. North Carolina. Booyah!

Duck Call Room

Justin Martin’s Twins Catch the Flu & He Doesn’t Handle It Well

2794.663

Hey, I was wondering, if y'all could have a superpower, what would it be? And what would your superhero name be? Superhero. I like hearing y'all's wrestling names, so this ought to be fun. All right, y'all boys have a good one, and I appreciate it, and I wish I would upload it every single day, but I know you can't. But I appreciate the entertainment. Y'all have a good day. All right, now.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

196.852

Well, it's been about six days since I... sent a follow-up text after our date, and I've heard anything.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

214.044

So I texted her two days after our date, and it's been six days since that text.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

232.52

So we met through our mutual friend, Mike, um, uh, who thought, you know, we would be a good match. We went to an Italian spot, um, because it just seemed, you know, most romantic. And that was my idea. Okay.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

252.993

And after the day was over, um, you know, I felt like we had good conversation and after the date was over, um, You know, I said, oh, you know, I'd love to, you know, get together again. And she said she would think about it. But I just figured she was playing hard to get.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

280.016

But I'm just, you know, I'm just curious because I haven't heard back anything for six days, you know. I just figured I would have, you know, at least heard something or, you know, even if she's not interested, just, you know, letting me know. Either way.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

305.319

We were... We both talked about, like, similar topics. You know, we were both into, like, space controversies, aerospace, and... Okay. Political stuff.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

322.834

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's weird to find anyone that I can talk to about these things or that'll even listen. She seemed into it, though? Yeah. From what I saw, yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

345.797

You know, maybe I'm a little bit too nerdy for my own good. I don't think so.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

353

I appreciate that.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

361.664

Yeah, well, I mean, maybe I showed too much of that too quickly.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

560.475

We went on, Jamie and I went on a date a little over a week ago. Um, we talked about, you know, kind of, uh, aliens and space and a couple of days after the date, I texted her and it's now been six days since that text and I haven't heard back.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

594.393

That's an awesome second date.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

835.407

Hi, Jamie. I thought you were more into our conversation than apparently you were.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

868.938

Was it the topics? Were they just too kind of like nerdy?

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

904.618

Were the topics too intimidating?

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

911.481

Well, because I thought you were really smart talking on those topics as well.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

924.726

Okay, so you weren't into the topics I was talking about? No, not really. Sorry. I guess that's good to know for future.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

945.247

Well, yeah, I'm good, too, as well.

First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show

Why is Jamie Ghosting Hunter?

965.609

Yeah, okay, I'm good. But I did want to let everyone know that they did release seven chemtrails today. So everyone, I would just recommend everyone stay at home.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1039.386

Right on the floor. It was crazy. Oh, yeah.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1089.837

I'm trying to think of other crazy things we've done for a video.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

112.71

He said that he's like this really PMO.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1145.284

You're fine. No, where's the video? You have it?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1158.535

It rearranged my face. Wait, let me see. Let me see.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1165.09

Yes, my whole side. It gave me dimples.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

117.091

Wait, what was, oh, is that video of a girl hating you?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1171.671

Why are you posing? He's like... No, that was just my lip swelling. That was his face. That was my face. You were most deadly posing in that.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1185.414

No, that was my face just swelling. Let me see. This is like... Dude just got... Just got beat in this video, bruh. Let me see.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

120.492

I like those. Those are my favorite.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1207.624

For sure, bro. We all believe you. I can't.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1217.089

I could close my mouth, but it was stuck like that.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1223.814

The video flopped too, bro.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1245.187

Hey, Kizzy thought your video was really funny recently. You brought back the thing where you're like, I have to go to the bathroom.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1251.649

I'd never seen the original.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1265.053

Yeah, very original.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1269.474

I know back in the day me and you did some crazy things for videos.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1283.218

That was cool. That was fun. We did this YouTube video.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1288.8

This brand told us they were going to give us $20,000 to give away in the video. So we were like, oh, great. This will be fun. We'll give away $10,000 and then we'll pocket $10,000. Five each, right?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1302.665

Yeah, master plan. And then we go out to this college campus and we play a bunch of games with these college kids and stuff. And we give out $10,000 that day. And then the brand never paid us. So not only did we not get our 20 grand, we lost 10 grand.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1318.843

Down bad. Down bad. And let me tell you, at the time, we did not have money to do that at all.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1333.796

You know why because we put their ad in the wrong spot in the video.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1342.702

They approved it. We uploaded it and they go well actually yeah Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no they did no I need it now No, no, no bleep that name because that that company did they did okay?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1392.052

We gave away a Taylor Swift ticket in the video too to a random fan, flew to Denver for it. Never posted it.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

14.322

Harper's Dome vs. Happy Grace. It is singing off.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1412.502

And also, recently we filmed like three or four videos building secret rooms. And all those, no, we're not posting because we didn't shoot them right. Harper said those flopped. Flopped, so they weren't even uploaded. So I guess you're kind of right.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1429.3

The mics were wrong.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1433.442

Yeah, the audio is trash.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1436.424

But now we have new microphones. At least we're uploading videos, Harper.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1453.782

Well, you know what else? My YouTube channel has more than you. Yeah, our YouTube channel has double what yours has. Yeah, well, okay.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1529.471

Whenever you think you have a lot of followers on TikTok, just remember I have triple that. You too, Mav.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1549.563

Yeah, well, at least I'm at 18.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1570.066

No, our Cash and Kate account is at 6 million, I think.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

158.312

I can't hold you here. That's not true. I smell like root beer.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1582.696

Yeah, fun fact for you guys. The LOL Podcast TikTok used to be a TikTok called Cash and Maverick. We had our personals, and then we made an account together called Cash and Maverick. We don't have to say that, though, because people... And it gained like 8 million subs, and then we didn't post on it for like three years. And then we started the podcast, so we switched it to the LOL Podcast podcast.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1600.43

You know what I'm thinking now? Why didn't we switch the Cash and Maverick Instagram to the LOL podcast? Because it's verified. Oh, wait. If you switch your account name on Instagram, you get your verification mark taken away.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1617.441

No, no. It was never verified on TikTok.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1639.565

True story. Y'all think I'll ever get to a million? Nope.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1665.473

How many are you at now?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1733.705

Yeah, throw a bunch.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1759.329

Where'd the turn come from? I'm like a machine gun. Check me out. Wait, wait.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1774.432

That's a very slow machine gun. Very slow machine gun I've ever seen. Hey, yo, who got my hat?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1784.595

Harper, you trying to match me again today?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1787.456

She's always trying to match me.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1790.477

I used to be really good at memory matching when I was a kid. No, you weren't. I was. I was. I beat my mom. He was like six, and my mom hyped him up, and to this day, he thinks he's good. No. No. Listen. Listen. Memory match. I would whoop my mom when I was five years old. Five years old, I'd beat my mom in memory match every time.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1818.545

My mom did not let me win memory match. I'm calling her.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1828.728

My IQ is very high.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1831.55

My IQ. Especially, I'm telling you, I'm undefeated in memory match.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1837.594

No, you don't. Look at you. Intellectual intelligence.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1846.586

Intelligence? Wait, that doesn't even start with a Q. Wait, intellectual.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1944.034

Are you telling the truth?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1947.336

Did he pay you to say this?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1975.949

No, not even close. Yes, it is.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1979.771

Yes, I can. All right, well, I'll let you go. Alright, love you.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

1985.93

You probably can't hear anything during mad phone calls.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

2017.792

I mean, I still lucky to do that to this day. Don't you like, lucky you wonder what it smells like?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

2033.342

My leg is fully asleep.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

2147.14

So, uh, how are you going to do this here, bud?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

232.214

I would just like us to have the pod logo on for one episode without the TV break.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

2532.89

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

256.305

They're capping. They won't take it.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

2679.011

Thank you. Thank you.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

273.015

You almost hit her in the face. Hey, get back up. All right. Yeah. Come on. Get back up. Wait.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

2767.585

Thank you very much. Thank you.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3.192

Who would like to expose him?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

30.251

Hey, we're rolling right now. We're starting right now. And I just found out big news. I'm in the top six pinned on Harper's book.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

301.824

I won't. Oh. Harper, you're really good at reading people.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3134.712

We're going to have to come to an agreement here.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3138.535

I've said two. Here we go.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3154.329

Honey yacked on the couch. That's what happened this morning.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

317.478

That one was a little extra.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3200.334

Who buys a $35 dog bowl? That's crazy. Who buys a $35 dog bowl? Wait, Stella broke something, so you charged his card for it?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3215.418

$35 dog bowl is kind of crazy. Can we not agree to that?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3219.561

I think she bought more than a dog bowl.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3223.604

Oh, Stella broke two dog bowls.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3228.908

You got to take advantage of it.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3249.908

Matt, you're so readable. You're so readable. What's your favorite face card? Just say it. I'm beautiful?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3255.954

Just say your favorite face card. King? King? Yes. Readable. Like I said. I think you just put the face cards right there on top.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3301.994

You know what, Harper? I agree with you. We should have a singing competition. And me versus you. Me versus you. Ready? I think. Go ahead. You go first. Okay. I'm going to nominate someone to sit in my place. I don't think you can do that. That's not a scene competition type of thing.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

332.35

It's this thing that's messing me up.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3352.132

Wow, I'm sorry, we're really putting you on the spotlight here.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3366.007

All right, Harper Zilmer versus Happy Grace in a singing off.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3371.01

Yeah, that's my team over there. So if I win, I win.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3377.374

Oh, wait, each of you sing your own song. Sing that Queen beat.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

349.382

Dude, you've spent five minutes trying to sit down. Literally, this episode's been going like ten minutes and you still haven't sat down. Okay, well, you guys don't know how hard it is to sit down every episode, couch people.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3533.753

I mean, I sat on that, so I'm pretty offended that you said that.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

361.289

Mav, are you getting a phone call right now? It's Harper.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3614.085

All right, sing whatever song you want.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3648.862

What? I thought the same thing. Okay, so did I win?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3654.884

Let me help you. Raise your ya-ya.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3658.244

Yeah, now raise your ya-ya.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3660.725

Why are you an opera singer?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3682.717

I hate when you do that.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3684.757

That wasn't. You want one, Kate?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3708.26

Do the ya-ya or you get a card.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

380.567

Wow, Kinsey just took a bullet there, man.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3826.188

Yeah, grab Kate's too. Grab Kate's. No adjusting the lights.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3831.732

To the left. So the person to the left gets to your TikToks.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3836.795

Hey, what is she doing?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

384.328

Yeah, well, listen.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3840.154

Everybody turn the volume down on it.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3845.06

Yeah. Everybody turn your volume down so we don't get copyrighted.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3850.83

I'm going to go first with Kenzie here. There you go.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3872.536

I need to say it now. I have Maverick's phone and I have his TikToks. Who would like to expose him?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3885.021

Actually, give it to Kinsey.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3891.164

I will always expose him. Don't look at him until you sit down. My brother you are in trouble.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3908.81

Oh What is it? What is it?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

3995.843

You know what's on yours. Matt, you know exactly what's on yours. Okay.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4016.037

Oh, my gosh. Hold on. Yours are boring. Oh, don't burp. Ew.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4047.519

Are we on? Hello, hello? Can you do cheer? Wait, guys, we gotta show each other's TikToks here.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4059.612

Yeah, they like my stuff, so I just felt like I had to be kind.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4080.735

Well, it can't get copyrighted unless it's a sound. Kenzie, why is your TikTok set? It doesn't matter.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

409.26

You be sending me videos on Instagram of people getting their leg chopped off, man.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4106.712

A baby. More kind tie.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4112.633

Yeah. Kenzie's like TikToks are boring. Can we get back to Mavericks?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4122.8

Yeah, Kenzie did like all of our stuff. Not going to lie.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

413.663

She doesn't say anything.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4131.126

What do you mean find out, Mav? It was your phone. It was on your phone, Mav. Yeah, you seem pretty suspicious if you ask me.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4141.002

Can we have his phone back so we can share?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4148.726

Oh, my gosh, Matt. They threw your phone on the ground. How did we miss that?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4171.386

He did get mad at Kate.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4219.416

What? What? Harper! No, first of all... That's so funny, because I literally said... No, no, no, bleep that, because that is not anything that was shown right here.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4233.22

Don't say it, apparently. We're not allowed to say it, but no.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4241.703

All right, well, apparently that's bleeped.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4245.604

Can we... Well, I guess we're not showing Matt's TikToks. You're the one who put it before the show. He said, I might or might not have planted some TikToks on Matt's phone.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4268.821

It was not crazy. What I did was not crazy. Wait, what were you going to say, Kenzie?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4282.285

Okay, I'm sorry. Y'all are making it sound like it's bad.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4286.906

Now you can't because you said it's bad. I'm sorry. Okay.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4296.408

Oh, we can't show it. But you guys are trolling. Look at that. The exact reason I said is so funny because then she turned around and said it.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

430.844

Today I saw a guy on Instagram Reels fall on a boat and the boat went all the way up his armpit. Don't even ask how it happened because it's hard to explain.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4312.416

Whoa, sorry. What were you going to say, Kenzie?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4337.331

No, you can't. I tell her all the time. I just think that's going to sound really mean.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4343.332

Oh, my gosh. I'm so tired of sensitive people in this world. Don't post it if you don't want me to show it on the internet. You just had to put a funny video on my like TikTok. Dude, I looked. Okay. I don't get why we can't share this. It's hilarious. What? I thought before the episode, I was like, this is a funny thing to plant in Maverick's phone. I can't believe you even thought that was okay.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4378.713

Yeah, and Cash is on Tinder. Clearly. Maverick planted that in my TikTok. No.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4385.978

So don't you talk about me planting bad things in yours when you planted that. Because that's worse.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4396.965

Yeah, yours was crazy. The one I planted was not that bad. Whose was worse, Kate? This is why we cannot go through each other's TikToks, because Cash is a problem.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4419.785

Kenzie's literally just enjoying scrolling on TikTok right now.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4429.834

Hey, do y'all have anything to show over there?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

443.128

Here's the thing. I find when people get hurt funny sometimes. I didn't know you were going to eat that. I knew that too, bro.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4441.322

So you're telling me there's a lot of juice on Kate's phone right now? That's really not what she said.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4447.584

Oh, yeah, listen, guys. Have y'all noticed? Maverick always tries to talk crazy towards the end of the episode to make good intro clips. So he's like, you're telling me on Kate's phone there is something very bad.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4461.488

Yeah, that's what I'm doing.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4469.193

And you gotta keep watching this video to make sure you find out and subscribe. It's gotta be like this. I can't believe that's on Kate's phone. That's actually disturbing. Why would that be in your like TikToks?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

453.292

What are you talking about? We eat off this. Even the dogs wouldn't eat that.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4534.41

This will be the end of the episode right here.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

4546.88

Chipotle, McDonald's, goodbye.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

481.202

What if I sent you a video of some dude's leg just behind his head?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

49.651

All that matters, Kate, is I'm number three. Yeah, we did start without you because we found out huge news. Did you hear the news? Huge news.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

496.002

Maybe not, but I want to see. They are some crazy reels I'd be sending her. How do y'all's Instagram reels become... I just get so excited when I'm scrolling through Instagram and it's like, are you sure you want to watch this?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

510.854

It's like tap if you really want to see.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

521.459

And then their nails get like chopped off.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

529.136

Wait, that's crazy.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

532.318

Yeah, I remember. Hey, I'll tell this little story in case none of you guys have heard it because it's probably been a long time since we said this. But the first time Kate saw Harper on TikTok and she's like, hey, check out this girl. She's doing good. She was at like 10,000 followers or something. She's getting millions of views. I was like, oh yeah, keep an eye on her. See how she does.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

576.454

And then like literally like two days later, she was at like 80,000 or something.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

582.939

And I DM'd her and I was like, here's our DMs. Also, we have not DM'd much at all because it was like one swipe and I got to the top. It was like, hey, your TikTok is doing so good. Was going to see if you wanted to do brand deals. And she said.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

598.151

Yeah, right off rip. I said, she said, of course, I'll need to talk to my parents about it. But let me know what ideas you have. Thanks for reaching out.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

60.096

No, not you or Maverick. Neither one of you are pinned. But I'm number three. Kate is number six. I'm the highest on Harper's Lips.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

607.118

And then... And then... Yeah, so pretty much I just wanted to keep... Yeah, so pretty much I just wanted to reach out to you and tell you to keep posting. Your account's doing really good right now. Now, so it's important to post at least like one video a day if you can keep growing like that. If you can keep growing like you are right now, then I can definitely get you some.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

625.614

But let's set up some time to talk.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

628.556

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The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

646.131

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The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

664.785

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The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

682.161

Don't wait and get your first month for just a dollar at getkickoff.com slash lolpod. That's Kickoff without the C. Get 80% off at getkickoff.com slash lolpod.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

723.409

No, I said, but in the meantime, like I said, it's super important to post as much as you can.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

74.66

Girl, learn to read.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

746.195

Yeah, you didn't answer my DM. Look, I messaged you on September 5th, and you didn't message me for a whole day, and I was like... What? You mean February 5th? Or February 5th, yeah, of 2023. And I was like, what? That's crazy. It's been two years.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

760.461

It's been two years. And so then the next day, she was like, I'm going live at 5 p.m. Eastern time or whatever. I was like, what the fuck? I was like, no way I'm going to have to hop on this girl's live stream to get her to message me back. And I did. And I was like, hey, I sent you a DM. And she's like, Cash Baker's trying to slide into my DMs. I was like, don't you ever say that ever again.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

779.562

Guess call me right now.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

78.301

What? All right. Alex, what type of a chair is this, man? Seriously, bro. I'm sick and tired of all these chairs. No, you can fit in there.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

785.348

Yeah, I was like, guess call me right now. And she guess called me. And I was like, that is not what's going on. I'm not trying to do that.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

798.898

All the comments on her livestream was like Just weird. Like, hey, what's he doing?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

848.544

We were your inspiration. All you needed was that video.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

860.05

Shout out Paul Zimmer, man. He is, man. None of y'all know who Paul Zimmer is probably now. It was way back in the day.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

868.015

That's originally why I dyed my hair, too.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

899.267

You never said you didn't want to. Shut up. You never said that.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

906.002

She never said that.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

927.907

Kenzie, did you want to do TikTok?

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

934.89

No, Kinsey didn't have a problem with it, but she definitely did not like some of the videos. There's still a video. We have one of the funniest videos we've ever made that she won't let me put out. Oh, I know exactly which one you're talking about. It's so funny. If y'all don't put that out, I'm going to film it and post it.

The LOL Podcast

Reacting To Each Others Liked TikTok’s

993.941

Harper brought up that TikTok a couple months ago and I looked at it and I was like, why would I do that? My whole butt's just out there.

The Ramsey Show

You Can’t Win With Money if You Keep Ignoring the Real Problem

1333.93

Thank you, Mr. Ramsey. Great, great to talk with you. I really appreciate you taking my question.

The Ramsey Show

You Can’t Win With Money if You Keep Ignoring the Real Problem

1340.975

Hey, so I'm 30 years old. I'm married. I've got three kiddos. And me and my wife right now are a little over $100,000 in debt. On what? On what? $100,000 in debt on what? So we bought a piece of land that's about $60,000 to $65,000 we still owe on that. We have a car payment, which is we have about $25,000 left on that. And then I have student loans, which is about $20,000. Okay.

The Ramsey Show

You Can’t Win With Money if You Keep Ignoring the Real Problem

1378.249

So I make $70,000 to $75,000. Cool.

The Ramsey Show

You Can’t Win With Money if You Keep Ignoring the Real Problem

1385.852

So we still, yeah, we're still paying on the land.

The Ramsey Show

You Can’t Win With Money if You Keep Ignoring the Real Problem

1390.879

No, sir. Uh, no, currently we're living with, uh, my, uh, wife's grandparents and a one bedroom, uh, barn house. And so we're just living there. Uh, we're literally living on about a thousand dollars a month and the rest, we're just stalking away towards debt and trying to get completely out of debt. Um, uh, download this app called, um, yeah, uh, the app, you guys have the easy money apps.

The Ramsey Show

You Can’t Win With Money if You Keep Ignoring the Real Problem

1413.706

I'm literally just trying to, um, completely get out of debt and trying to get out of it fast.

The Ramsey Show

You Can’t Win With Money if You Keep Ignoring the Real Problem

1445.007

So it's already up in property value. We originally, whenever we bought it, we bought it for $75,000. It's now worth $85,000. Who said? I'm sorry? Who said it's worth $85,000? So we had a property appraiser whenever we closed on the land. How long did you close on it? Oh, I'm sorry, not whenever we closed, but whenever we signed to purchase the land.

The Ramsey Show

You Can’t Win With Money if You Keep Ignoring the Real Problem

1490.473

So your question is what, Hunter? Yeah, so our question is, should we sell the land and then just pay off all of our debt?

The Ramsey Show

You Can’t Win With Money if You Keep Ignoring the Real Problem

1499.066

Okay. All right. Yes. All right. That answers my question.

The Ramsey Show

You Can’t Win With Money if You Keep Ignoring the Real Problem

1546.964

Maybe, uh, just, I just turned 30 this year.

The Ramsey Show

You Can’t Win With Money if You Keep Ignoring the Real Problem

1554.787

So I do wedding and elopement photography.

The Ramsey Show

The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit

2573.311

So I just finished the Complete Money Makeover book. Me and my husband have been living off of a budget for the past year or so, and we were able to pay off our cards last year, and now we're just working on the remainder, which is our student debt. So we currently have $39,000 in student debt. Part of that's my husband's and then the other part is mine. And we have $20,000 in savings right now.

The Ramsey Show

The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit

2599.878

So I'm just wondering, would it be better to pay off? like my husband's student loan right now, which is $15,000. So pay it off right now. Or if we stay on track with our budget, we would be able to pay off the remainder within like pay it off altogether within the next four months and just pay it off like at one time.

The Ramsey Show

The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit

2661.519

You know, we just, we, my husband just got a bonus and I just got a raise within like the last like couple of weeks. So we kind of just acquired like a large about into our savings account, which is super exciting. And I don't think that there's anything that's like stopping us. We're both on the same page of like, okay, we're so excited to pay off debt.

The Ramsey Show

The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit

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Like we're pumped about it because it can happen really soon. We've both been blessed immensely. Um, but yeah, I just think of how exciting it would be to just pay it off all at one time and then just be done with it. I think that that's just what's exciting to me is like, oh, we could do it that way, but the other part is to just pay it off now and then pay off the other half later.

The Ramsey Show

The Baby Steps Break You out of the Paycheck-to-Paycheck Cycle

157.256

Okay, that's a good way to put it.

The Ramsey Show

The Baby Steps Break You out of the Paycheck-to-Paycheck Cycle

344.146

I'm 22, and I have over 120,000 saved up, and I'm making over six figures. What do you do, man?

The Ramsey Show

The Baby Steps Break You out of the Paycheck-to-Paycheck Cycle

364.454

No. Okay. You just got to work hard, put your time in, and yeah. Do you go to college or trade school? Yeah, I went to trade school. How much was it? Maybe, I don't know, $8,000 total tuition.

The Ramsey Show

The Baby Steps Break You out of the Paycheck-to-Paycheck Cycle

40.692

Hey, so I believe in the Ramsey Method. Say the good amount of money. I want to buy a house. Um, I have this girl, like I want to marry her, but she doesn't believe in, um, she, she believes in like credit cards and I don't want credit cards. Um, cause that's what you guys teach. Um, how can I convince her? She thinks they're like, you can't rent a place or you can't get a house.

The Ramsey Show

The Baby Steps Break You out of the Paycheck-to-Paycheck Cycle

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And I've tried to explain her otherwise. What do you guys think?

The Ramsey Show

The Baby Steps Break You out of the Paycheck-to-Paycheck Cycle

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Well, I just, I don't know. I try to go soft like you guys do. I don't know. I'm like, well, this served me well. The Ramsey method served me well. I saved up over like $120,000. I'm only 22 years old. I think, yeah, I think there's just less risk.

This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von

BEST OF: This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von 2024

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There was a study done in Australia. I used to work in palliative care as a doctor looking after dying people. You know what the top regret of dying people was? That they didn't have the courage to be themselves. And the third top regret was that they didn't have the courage to express their emotions. They pretended to be happy when they were not and so on.

This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von

BEST OF: This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von 2024

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So the question for the rest of us is do we want to wait Until some terminal illness wakes us up. Or should we just confront the fact that in so many ways we're afraid to be authentic because we're so afraid of being rejected.