Unnamed Caller 3
Appearances
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
You're listening to the micro version of the Savage Lovecast at savage.love.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
Hi, Dan. I'm a straight male in my 40s. I heard a while back a woman calling to your show talking about the best sex she had ever had. And her description of that was that she had loss of orgasms. And it got me thinking, what was the best sex that I ever had? And I came to the same answer. It was when she had lots of orgasms. And that got me thinking.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
Today, I'm recently divorced after a long sexless marriage. And I'm in my 40s. I'm thinking about, you know, maybe meeting a woman again. But I'm very hesitant about...
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
about having sex again because you know it's really such a to such a big part it's a performance i have to do well if i don't do well i ruin it for everybody because good sex the the you know the measurement we have for that is that the woman has lots of orgasms or the measurement that i have for it at least and i find it kind of weird because That means that it's not about enjoyment.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
I'm not there to enjoy it. I'm there to perform and do well. Which is a bit strange, isn't it? Is it like that for women too? So it makes me kind of not wanting to have sex. I mean, why bother? The risks are so high. of me ruining it. And it kind of seems a bit unfair, to be honest. Dan, help me get my head around this. Am I just being a big baby? All right, let's get this out of the way first.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
Dear Dan, I am a cis bi woman with a problem. The trainer at my gym is so hot, just too hot. I can't handle it. She is really nice and really funny and just so hot. I can't even go to her workout class anymore. I don't know what to do. She's my favorite trainer at the gym. I don't really like anyone else there, but she is just so hot. I can't fucking handle it. P.S.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
Hi, Dan. I am a 23-year-old gay Native American man, and I'm currently living in a situation with three other straight roommates. So I've been friends with one of my friends for quite a while since elementary school up until high school. And we are currently still living together. I would say our relationship is well bonded together. He's straight, of course, but I'm gay.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
But like we never had like any interactions with that. Like I told him when I was in high school, he was fine with it. He's always been fine with it. But up until recently, some of the jokes that he's been making for me, per se, have not been perceived as jokes. So the most recent thing that happened was, so Saturday, I invited him to a baseball game.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
He came, and he knew my uncle since, like, high school, like, very beginning of high school. He, like, knows him. He came to, like, all our games and that. But he keeps making jokes. Every time my uncle is around, he keeps making jokes about how he turned me gay. And he keeps making jokes about him being gay. But, you know, at first it was fine.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
Everything didn't start happening until my uncle started hanging out with us a little bit more this year, like going to parties or like, you know, just going like out beers, just whatever, just like a few times this year. But every time he came around, he would make that comment.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
And then he also made a comment saying that me not having a father and not having a father growing up makes me less of a man. And that him having a father made him the man he is today kind of makes me mad. So I've been kind of shut away for the past week and a half just avoiding him. But my question is, should I tell him how I felt during that situation or am I blowing it up?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
Hi, Dan. So I have a friend who's an adult gay man. And when I met him, he was in recovery for meth addiction. But he's since relapsed. And since that happened, he's opened up to me about the reason he uses meth. So he's very deep into diaper play and adult baby kink. And he... has discovered that injecting meth directly into his penis will make his penis shrink, and he finds it very affirming.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
But we were talking and we were interested in trying to find some harm reduction methods he can use. Maybe there's other ways to create penis shrinkage that aren't an addictive substance. He says he's not even that interested in the high when he's clean. He just misses being able to shrink his penis. So any help you could offer would be fantastic.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
Papa Bear here, calling in regards to episode 929, where a caller wondered if being polyamorous belonged in the LGBTQIA plus alphabet. understand why it feels like it should poly people often face discrimination and stigma from others who only subscribe to societal norms there are certainly parallels especially since this discrimination has an origin in how people are sexually wired
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
I had the same question several years ago about BDSM and whether or not it belonged in the rainbow alphabet or if I, a cis straight identified guy, belonged under the queer umbrella for being kinky, which is absolutely hardwired into my sexuality and always has been. I asked the question on FetLife and had a lot of pushback.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
Many queer people argued that being straight and having straight kinky sex, just like having multiple partners in straight relationships, is still just that, straight, not bi, pan, or queer, etc., Though I understood what they were saying, I really struggled with his answer. BDSM just felt queer to me. What I wasn't realizing is my kink sexuality felt queer to me because I'm queer, not straight.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
Expressing that in my kink was a safe way to first explore because I could pretend I was still straight since I only did things with other people with penises during kink scenes. It took time and a little therapy to realize that I didn't have to find excuses for why I was interested in kinky sex with cis or trans men, gender non-conforming or gender fluid folks, along with cis and trans women.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
I was pansexual and struggling to unlearn the life-stunting expectations based in toxic masculinity that prevented me from being my full and authentic self. As I said before, being poly has a lot of parallels and should make us strong allies for each other, but being poly in itself doesn't make someone queer.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
However, to anyone that struggles with this answer because their polysexuality feels queer, I suggest taking a good look inside and see if maybe those queer feelings are coming from somewhere else. Give yourself permission to get out of the box that society might have forced you into that no longer fit you, if they ever did. Thank you.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
Hello, Dan. Calling you from Tasmania, Australia. I was really moved by your mug story, Dan. I also have a mug that's really important to me. And I'm glad that you found... some replacement mugs, you know, because I think I would probably do the same thing if I lost mine. But it did bring to mind a Zen story that I really like. I get a bit swept up in that Zen bullshit, but here we go.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
You see this goblet? Asks the Thai meditation master. For me, this glass is already broken. I enjoy it. I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, of course. When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious. But yeah, I'm glad you got a new mug.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
Hi, Dan. It's the caller from episode 927 with the gardener. Yeah. Well, turns out he was interested and my marriage is now open. And though my husband decided he doesn't want to see it, he's getting more comfortable with hearing about it. So yeah, we're dating and having great time and seeing where we all end up. So thank you for giving me the inspiration and advice to go for this.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
It just goes to show you don't ever get what you want if you don't ask for it.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
Hi, Dan. I'm a gay trans guy and I pass completely. Like at work, if I come out to somebody, they usually are like shocked and excited and intrigued by the novelty of the situation. At my workplace, I'm directly out to what I would consider about like a fifth, like 20% of the staff, including a couple of managers.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
I've been assuming that like word would just get around and like hoping that just like everyone catches the vibe. So flash forward, I'm at a bar alone and... one of the higher-up coworkers came and got a drink with me. At that drink, he came out to me as bisexual, and he specifically said to me in, like, a jovial tone, I'm gay till the dick comes out.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
I responded to that in the moment, like, a little shocked, but, like, was just like, well, lots of guys don't have dicks. you know, so you're in luck. But I didn't specifically say I don't. And the tone of the whole conversation was friendly, like on the verge of flirty, but nothing like inappropriate beyond like a workplace flirt energy.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
I'm trying to figure out if he said that to show interest in me or not, because there's like two ways this could go. One is he's trying to express his genital preference and that he's down. And that's like kind of I'm not mad at that if he knows I'm trans, you know? And then there's also the timeline where he doesn't know I'm trans and it was his way of making sure I didn't like get my hopes up.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 930
I don't know. So now I want to kind of tell him I'm trans after him having made this comment. And I should have just said something in the moment maybe, but I'm like trying to figure out a smooth way to like drop that information. Any thoughts?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
Hi, Dan. I just want to call about something that I find very strange about you. By the way, I think you're one of the most insightful, logical, interesting people I've ever heard talk about these subjects, so I'm a great admirer. But there's one thing that's so weird, and that's what you said about massage, that you're so, as you would say, squigged out about a stranger touching your body.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
And this is coming from a person who has had numerous one-night stands, someone who met his husband on a one-night stand. So those are virtual strangers and you let them touch you in every way. Whereas a massage is such a safe place with so many boundaries and all you have to do is relax and it's the most pleasurable thing in the world.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
So I just find it really odd that you are creeped out by a stranger touching your body.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
Hey Dan, 32 year old bi curious man. Not sure if we still use that word anymore, but whatever. It feels like it suits me the best because I've actually never done anything other than a couple of kisses with men. Yeah, I've been fantasizing about being with a man for probably a good
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
at least a decade, and I've told partners that I've been with that it's something that I want them to do, and I've just never really got around to doing it, mainly because I've mostly been in relationships with women my whole life, and it's just never really happened that way. I was at a Pride event maybe a few weeks ago, and there was this guy, and I was really attracted to him.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
And I asked if he was bisexual or something, and he said yes. And I said, oh, cool, like I am too. And then it kind of just fizzled out from there. I don't think he was as attractive to me as I was him, which is totally fine. Yeah, so that's kind of how I've always pictured it going down. You know, organically, I was kind of hoping that
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
I'd be able to meet someone like that, and then we'd just go back to their place, you know, maybe make out, maybe do something more. That's kind of how I've always wanted to have them. But I've kind of realized it's not going to happen that way. So I've hopped on Grindr and holy shit, it is just like a meat market. I've just been bombarded by men throwing themselves at me.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
I feel like this is what it's like for women to be on dating apps that are dating men. It's very overwhelming and it's a little much to be honest. I've talked to one guy who's You know, I'm pretty attracted to, and I told them my whole situation, how I'm, like, nervous. And they said, well, there's nothing to be nervous about. Like, it's all good. So that's nice.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
There definitely are people out there that are pretty chill with my whole situation. But, yeah, I'm just a little nervous about the whole thing. Part of me worries that I'm just not going to like it and that I'm like kind of treating the other person as like my guinea pig. And if I don't like it, I'm going to like let them down or that I'm going to suck at it.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
You know, I've also thought that, you know, I might like it. I could actually see myself dating a man, you know? But yeah, I just, I just don't know. I just feel like with women, like it's very, like I know how to talk to them. I know what I like. It's very familiar. Whereas men, I'm just like completely like a fish out of water.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
I don't know, part of it might just be conditioning, like social conditioning growing up. I don't have very many friends that are like cool with this sort of thing and my family definitely isn't. So it might be some like deep-seated mental blocks.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
Hi, Dan. This is for the caller from episode 933 that they opened their marriage and the husband can't find anyone to play with. I'm a single gal in the lifestyle. When I talk to a man that is married and I don't see the wife, I ask to meet or talk to the wife. If the husband says that I can't talk or meet the wife, I walk away. Lifestyle 101, always include the spouse.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
So as a couple, you need to be in the lifestyle for both of you and not one.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
Hi, Dan. This is a comment on the ABDL sex room. You had commented on having someone just tell them it's a sex room and that they can't go in there. might want to also suggest that they put a proper lock on it at minimum. I think the secret room idea is a good one is perhaps a bit expensive, but a simple lock might be all that's additionally required.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
I know I'm dating myself here, but in the 90s, people used to worry about folks going through their medicine closet when they would go into a bathroom in their house and learn information about them that they shouldn't. And I similarly worry that without any kind of barrier, once people know that it's a sex room, they may find some sort of like
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
illicit throughout going in there and seeing what is in that space. And for these particular callers, that might be a lot more impactful and consequential on their social circle than even BDSM might be. Just wanted to throw that out there. Good luck with the sex room.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
Dan, this is a comment on 933 about the 22-year-old dude who wants to be a sub. I feel like you even tiptoed up to this earlier in your conversation, and then you didn't apply it, but he needs to be looking at older women. You talked about women growing into kink versus men arriving with them fully formed. That guy needs to be hitting the cougars up.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
I think a lot of them would love to have a great time with him.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
Hi, Dan and everyone. Here for this is head woman, Magnum Saab from Europe. I have a question about a guy that I dated for two months this year. I ended up things with him because one time we had sex. We had sex without a condom that I didn't really agree to and didn't give my consent. And the worst thing was that he came inside me. So I ended up having a plan B peel and my cycle is messed up.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
And he seemed very nonchalant about it. Like he was even trying to convince me to have
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
one more time sex without condom because I'm going to take pill anyway after that he also didn't seem to take care much to take really care of me about how I feel about taking the pill I also had to pay about this video he didn't share the costs with me so it was very stressful situation and I decided to end things with him because I felt like okay this guy really showed me who he is
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
And we met, I broke up with him. I told him everything and he was genuinely sorry. And he apologized. It wasn't enough for me. I still said that's over. I don't really see this going anywhere because I don't think I can trust him. And then we, but we met a few times, but we didn't, there was no, nothing physical going on, but overall, I don't really enjoy him even as a friend, but I,
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
really enjoyed having sex with him and currently I don't have any fuck buddy no friends with benefits I've been really unlucky on the dating apps and I would like to reach out to this guy and meet up with him for sex I would set my boundaries very clear I don't have any feelings for him so I know for myself that it should not be emotionally draining I would just enjoy
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 934
the sexual part, but my friends, many of my friends thinks it's a horrible idea because this guy acted like an asshole. Yeah. And I'm curious, what do you think?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
You're listening to the micro version of the Savage Lovecast at savage.love.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
Hi Dan, two cis women calling from the Pacific Northwest. We are in a three-person relationship with each other and a man and are getting away for a cozy week on the BC coast together in a few weeks. We've been seeing each other in some fashion for over a year and just recently have decided to transition our various relationship constructs into a committed core relationship with each other.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
We both have great sex with him individually and the group play is also fantastic. Further, we enjoy all combos of connection when the three of us play together. Our relationship has progressed, and all three of us are very excited about this new dynamic.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
Our male partner is very open-minded in the bedroom and is a very generous sexual partner. He's usually in a dominant role, but he also enjoys watching and being directed. Outside of that space, his interests are craftsmanship, delicious food, and us, of course. What he really loves is to be surprised, and we've been able to deliver some fun surprises over the last year.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
We want to surprise our sweetie during our week away, leveling up from secretly matching lingerie sets and introducing new toys. What would be a good surprise for him during that week? It's okay to get a little wild!
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
Hi, Dan. I'm calling from the Pacific Northwest. I am a 53-year-old bi woman in a relationship for 10 years with another bi woman. And the problem that I'm having is that... Her hygiene has gone way down. I'm not quite sure what to do. I've tried to make gentle suggestions like, why don't we shower before we get into bed? We do live together. Or just making light inquiries.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
I know that she has really severe ADHD. And I'm also sometimes not sure if she's picking up on the clues that I'm putting down. And I don't want to or maybe feel comfortable being very direct about her hygiene. I just don't want to be mean about it in any way because she's so lovely and sweet. And I just love her. But I'm having trouble understanding.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
having a sexual connection with her because she just has smells coming out of the maybe tush area and also isn't brushing her teeth as much as I think she should be. I need help. I really don't want to end our relationship over something like this and I'm agonizing over it.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
Dan, on episode 937, the abusive boyfriend who wants the dog, I think you're totally right. It's about control. It's about winning. I think there's a middle ground here where she can get the dog and she can still let him think that he's won. offer to buy the dog. They both know that the dog is better off with her.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
Offer a low price, $50, and then let him win by extorting, you know, $300 or $400, whatever she's willing to pay. And then he walks away thinking he's won. She gets the dog and never has to see him again.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
Hi, Dan. Polyamorous person here with a response to the poly plus one discourse. I wanted to point out that these considerations aren't just applicable to high cost events like weddings. I work for a company that prides itself on being progressive and queer inclusive.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
I'm completely out at work about being poly and everyone is super supportive, but I know of at least two coworkers who are poly but not out at work yet. We use online forms to RSVP for things like company picnics or holiday parties. Previously, the forum asked something like, are you bringing your spouse?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
I have brought multiple partners to the company events before, but for those coworkers who aren't out, the RSVP questions might make them feel like their whole family is not necessarily welcome at these events. I emailed our admin folks and suggested trying to find some more inclusive language. Now the forum simply asks, how many adults are you bringing?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
It costs the company almost nothing to accommodate multiple partners. We always have lots of leftover food and drinks. but it makes it clear that they respect me and my partners and my family system. If you're the person at your company who has the opportunity to make diverse families feel more welcome, it might be as simple as adding a couple of words to your RSVP form.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
In my opinion, this discourse should be less about paying for one more steak dinner at your wedding or whether your guests will have a special person to talk to and much more about acknowledging that we don't all fit into the same mold and doing what we can to make people in our lives feel seen, cared for, and welcome.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
Hey, Dan, Nancy, and the tech-savvy youth. Calling about the caller who said he had an anxious attachment style. I am a mental health professional, and a lot of people make the mistake thinking that attachment styles are fixed identities, like a personality style that they'll have for the rest of their life. That's just not true.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
All of us are aiming to have a secure attachment style where we trust ourselves and we trust others. So if you have an anxious attachment style, you don't trust other people. And if you have an avoidant attachment style, you only trust yourself. So there's no excuse just to say, I have an anxious attachment style.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
If this caller's person he's having sex with is making him feel mistrustful and anxious, this is not a time to lean into his attachment style, but to have a corrective experience, live with the ambivalence and the ambiguity that comes up with relationships, and try to be more secure.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
Hi Dan, I'm a late 30s married cis woman calling about my experiences with possibly borderline sex work and how it might be impacting my marriage. I started dating my husband in my early 20s, got married after 7 years and now we have a 1 year old child and we've been totally monogamous the whole time. We have an okay sex life.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
I'm still very attracted to him physically, and we have good chemistry. He knows how to make me cum. But things are pretty repetitive, and the frequency has cut in half since our son was born, so we're lucky if we have sex twice a month now. After my son was born, I needed to get back in touch with my identity outside of being a parent, and I started studying burlesque.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
Over the past couple months, I've had opportunities to dance in a few amateur shows in small local bars, which end with performers stripping down to a thong and nipple tassels. My husband has been supportive of me doing burlesque.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
Since entering a burlesque community that includes many queer women and enby folks, I've even had the confidence to come out to him as bi, which is something I've known my entire adult life and never told anyone. He was surprised, but he took it pretty well considering that we're monogamous, so it's kind of irrelevant.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
One thing that came up recently, though, is I had a burlesque show at a very atypical venue. I actually performed at a large local sex club. Even though I only walked through the club long enough to get to the green room and the stage, I can't stop thinking about it.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
I was so worried that the venue would be sketchy and make me uncomfortable, but they had really good boundaries and it actually made me feel like more of a safe space than a lot of the nightclubs I'd been to before. When I came home and I told my husband, he was pretty quick to judge and say that it's kind of a weird kink for people to want to have sex in public.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
I didn't say to him, but I guess I'm kind of an exhibitionist and the thought of going to that club again, either as a performer or even as a guest with my husband seems so exciting to me. I just thought it was so cool to see so many people comfortable with their bodies and their sexuality.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
And I thought to myself how I wouldn't even mind him hooking up with another woman there, given that there would be no strings attached in that kind of circumstance. And it's really the only venue I might even have the opportunity to realize my fantasy of being with a woman, which is something I assume would never happen for me.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 938
I've already exposed my husband to so much through coming out as bi and bi performing. Will I be pushing him too much if I suggest we ever go to a club like this, even if it's just in baby steps?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
I said, I just really don't want you to share a room. I know how small European hotel rooms. I do trust him. I just don't like how this was all of a sudden mentioned to me, and it is stressing me out. Should I be worried? Am I a fool for being okay with this?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
Hi, Dan. I'm a mid-30s woman from the Southeast, and I'm calling about a question related to an open marriage. My husband and I have been with each other since we were in our late teens. We are both in our mid-30s now, so it's been a very long time. A few years ago, we decided to open up our marriage because we have a shared fantasy of me being like a slut and things like that.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
It really was intended for me to just explore my sexuality and for it to bolster our sex life. Well, my husband also decided that he wanted to play with people, and that was great. So we opened it up for both of us. But he quickly got kind of tired of it. It's a lot harder for men than it is for women to find random hookups, as you often talk about.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
And so he was just, like, done with it, disenchanted and done. So basically when he became done with it, he asked if I would stop playing. And I don't want to stop. It's really easy for me to find dates. I really enjoy the time that I have. And I also just want to mention that my husband is really, he is the only positive sex partner I have ever had in my life.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
So before I met him, I had only negative sexual experiences, non-consensual, very traumatic experiences. And when I met him, we did a lot of growing and learning together and safety work and all kinds of things that made me feel comfortable and safe. But I did realize very recently that I've never had a fantasy life. I've never had my own sexual fantasy life.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
My only thoughts about sex were really how I could be appealing to the person that I was with. It was never really what turns me on. It was only based off of what turns them on also turns me on because I'm turning them on. But throughout opening our relationship, I've realized, and I'm really starting to see myself as my own independent sexual being. He basically said,
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
I'm not going to stand in your way of you being happy, but this is going to break my heart. I don't know what to do, Dan. I really want to stay true to myself and live my life while also holding my husband's hand, but I also don't want to do damage to him.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
I don't want to hurt him, but I feel like because we have been together for so long, my entire youth, my 20s, everything was spent with him, and I really want to have some of my own experiences.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
Hi, Dan. So my boyfriend and I bought a house about a few months ago, and we have three bedrooms. One is for us, one is for the work-from-home office, but he and I are both ABDLs. We wanted the third bedroom to be our nursery, but I guess this could kind of apply to any kind of dungeon or play space. What do we tell
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
visitors that that room is for like we put keys on the bedroom doors that lock and we you know so far we've been telling people oh we're just storing stuff in there but that's not going to be a good excuse forever so what do we tell guests who want to know like why can't they stay in our guest bedroom or what's in that room that is kept shut
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
Hi, Dan. I have been in a LTR for 10 years, almost married for three. I was always realistic about our marriage and told my husband he could flirt, get attention, as long as there were, one, no numbers exchanged, two, he told me. He did both behind my back, and I just recently found out about that. I am so hurt.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
I don't know how to trust him again, even though I gave him that permission with boundaries. He lied about kissing her. It took about five days for him to admit it. He lies a lot. And I want to stay with him because I love him very much. And I know that he does love me too. But now what do I do that I'm trying to make it work?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
I love him, but he makes me sick to look at because I gave him all of that permission and he crossed those boundaries. How do we move on from here?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
honor so that you don't feel violated but if the rules that you two need to come to so that he can honor them themselves make you feel violated there may be no way to save this marriage i'm sorry to say hi dan i am wondering more about the taste of cum i'm also someone who loves the taste of cum and i am worried if my husband gets a vasectomy is that going to alter the taste
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
My sister has said that her husband tastes a little less quality after having a vasectomy. It tastes more like as if it's his second time ejaculating, and that is how it tastes all the time. Can anybody answer this for me? I would not want to change the taste of my husband's cum, but I'm also not ready to have any more children.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
This is a comment for the guy in episode 932 with the girlfriend who has a six-year-old daughter, like, disappointed that he didn't get a hell yes from her to uproot her life and move to the middle of the countryside. Dan, I thought your advice was great. but you weren't tough enough on him. Oh my goodness. I'm a stepmother to twin seven-year-olds.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
And let me tell you, part of being a step-parent is recognizing from the very, very beginning that the kid comes first. The kid always comes first. And this guy talks about wanting to be a father, not a father figure in her life, but wanting...
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
his experience of parenthood to be through this woman's daughter, but he can't make the very, very first sacrifice, which is understanding that this six-year-old kid's stability and her being around her friends and her being around her support network, that comes first over him getting the enthusiastic hell yes from his girlfriend. I don't think this guy should be a step-parent.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
I think he should go away and think about his priorities and if he is ready for parenthood and all that it entails because from his call it really didn't sound like he was.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
Hi Dan, I am calling in for the guy with the neurodivergent girlfriend who doesn't like kissing. I'm neurodivergent too, I have ADHD, and I have some sympathy for the girlfriend. Cuddling, especially when I am falling asleep, makes me feel very trapped and really activates some flight or fight response.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
The accommodation my husband and I worked out is that we'll try to cuddle in the morning when I am less sleepy and thus find cuddling less stressful. I'm wondering if this guy's girlfriend could be GGG, depending on, of course, how bad her fight-or-flight response is to kissing. And maybe they could start out sex by doing things that get her off.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
that don't require kissing, and then once she is pretty satisfied, if they could make out some, focusing more on his needs at that point, and maybe taking some breaks where he does something like kiss her neck or something like that, so she doesn't get too overwhelmed by making out before they finally do things that focus on, you know, getting him off.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
Yeah, it's so funny. You really are. You're so gay. The guy who was talking about wanting to be intimate and kissing, and you go right to eating ass. Women also have a vagina that some people like to kiss and lick, and that is an intimate way of, you know, something they could try, too.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
Hey, Dan. So I'm kind of having a crisis. with my sexuality, which I'm very comfortable with. I've always called myself bisexual, but I guess it's really pansexual, I'm trying to get used to that. But I was always the bisexual that people imagine, like I was always pretty equally attracted to all genders, romantically and sexually.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
Like I said, very comfortable with that, very open about it, but the thing is, I present extremely masculine, and since I like women, People assume I'm straight. And it's this weird thing where I kind of feel like I've gotten away with it my whole life, with being queer. I've gotten mean comments before, mostly from women, interestingly. Men seem more cool about it.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
I'm having this weird thing where I'm not really worthy of the queer label. I didn't earn it, you know? And I've been feeling this way for a long time. I don't really know what to do with it. I guess, obviously, I'm looking for affirmation, but also some advice on how to, I guess, affirm myself, maybe, or I don't know.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
Hi, Dan and Nancy. My boyfriend and I are in our mid-60s and have been dating for just over a year. We knew each other in high school. I am divorced. He is sort of divorced. They haven't done legal paperwork but have been apart for over 25 years. They are still very good friends. In fact, he says that his ex-wife is his best friend. They have two grown children together. Here is my problem.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
He is taking her on a cycling trip to Europe for her 65th birthday next month. I just found out about this. He has been talking about wanting to go on this cycling trip since we met, but he never said anything about taking his ex-wife. I actually hoped it was something we could do together. He hasn't talked about it for months until yesterday when he told me he was going with her.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 933
There will be other friends of his from high school on the trip. He is telling people that he is going with high school friends, but doesn't feel the need to mention he is taking his ex. I do want him to go because he talked about wanting to join the group about a year ago. He didn't mention, though, that he was taking his ex for her 65th birthday.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
And I guess part of why this is giving me a little bit of pause is because... When I was 15, my dad came out as gay. And we've got a great relationship now. But at the time, it was really hard on my family and particularly devastating for my mother. It took her years to recover. And maybe on some level, there's a fear that that will happen to me.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
Hey, Dan. So I've been seeing this girl for about six weeks and we've kind of hit it off fast and it's become very feelings oriented very, very quickly. I got divorced a few years ago and this is kind of the first time that I have felt something deeper for somebody. She's super attractive, but she also does little things that reveal a good and kind character to me at this early stage.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
And suggest kind of a generous and good soul that I can trust. But I guess I struggle with the trust part. And tonight, after I told her I couldn't hang out, she texted me and said she was going to go meet up with a male friend of hers for a drink. This male friend had reportedly recently broken up and she felt he needed a shoulder to cry on.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
I asked her if they had ever dated or fucked before and she said no. But about 10 minutes later, she texted me back and said she had, in fact, fucked him for some time more than a year ago. She insisted that wasn't the reason she was going to meet up with him, but I guess I'm not sure.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
There was also another episode a few weeks back where she was going to go meet up with another male friend who she initially said was not someone she had been with, but then she turned around and said, I'm sorry, but yes, I was with him. I'm just trying to figure out whether I am overreacting in this situation.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
Post-divorce, I've done a little bit of research into my attachment style, and I do seem to have an anxious attachment style. But I guess I dislike your take on the situation. I'm very torn about whether I'm overreacting about her spending time with these dudes, whether I should be fine with it, or whether I have reason to be concerned, and whether I should view this as a red flag.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
Hey Dan, my wife and I are relatively new to having an open relationship, you know, five or six months ago. So far, everything's been tons of fun. We really enjoyed it. It's been great. We started seeing this one woman and it first started as like a, you know, friend of benefits, super good time, all enjoy each other company. Now three months into that relationship,
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
We've all mutually caught in feelings for each other, which is just wonderful. It's been a ton of fun. We're really happy with how our relationship is growing. But seeing as how my wife and I are already in an established relationship, we've been together for nine years, married for three, we own a house together. I really want to be careful not to let that couple privilege create
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
some negative hierarchy in all three of our relationships. I guess what I'm looking for is, do you have any advice or things to look out for that you can pass on to us, seeing as this is the first time any one of us has really experienced this throuple dynamic when all three of us are dating each other?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
Hi, Dan. I'm a 34 year old queer person on the East coast. And I recently ended an 11 year relationship and I'm wondering basically how to handle a breakup after realizing the relationship was emotionally abusive and
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
The relationship ended really messily while we were visiting my family with him yelling at me and members of my family and me pretty much having to kick him out and send him home to the apartment we used to share.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
A few family members had raised red flags after overhearing the way he talked to and yelled at me, but I didn't really consider emotional abuse until our former couples counselor called me and told me that that was her rate of the situation. And after doing a lot of reading and thinking and therapy, I've come to accept the fact that the relationship was abusive.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
And it's been just over a month since the breakup and I've pretty much gone no contact and started proceedings to a victim from my apartment. But the one sticking point is our dog. I know you're not a dog lover, but stick with me. We got this dog together and he's insisting he should get to keep her because years ago we verbally agreed that he would get her if we broke up.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
But other than that verbal agreement, there's no reason he should have her. He can't afford to take care of her. I pay for 100% of her care. I'm the one that takes her to the vet. I'm the one that walks her. Plus, he doesn't know where he's going to be living, and he's probably going to live with roommates. The dog is really anxious, and it would just be miserable for her.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
He even acknowledged that, you know, in the days after the breakup that... you know, it would be really hard for him to take her away from the only family she's ever known and the only place she's ever known. And honestly, I just don't trust him anymore. And I don't think he can take care of her.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
He seems to think I'm using the dog as leverage, but I really just want what's best for her and for me, and that's to not see him again. I told him that he was emotionally abusive, but he ignored that. I don't know how to get him to see how much he hurt me and how to convince him to just cut his losses and accept the fact that he lost me and the dog.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
Dan Savage, I love you and I love Randy Rainbow, but I have to tell you, as somebody who's been to plenty of nudist camps and has played plenty of different sports at nudist camps, I can assure you, No one is having erections. That is not a thing. I've played volleyball. I've played pickleball. It is not a thing that you're going to get a heart on while trying to play sports. I promise you that.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
You know, I love you both, but it was kind of a little shamey there. I'm just going to have to say it. I didn't really feel that we were really putting nudist people in a positive light. So I'm just going to throw it out there. Love you, but sometimes I have to disagree.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
Hi, Dan. I'm a 36-year-old lesbian in a relationship with my girlfriend. We've been together for two years and are monogamous. We have a wonderful relationship, very, very deeply fulfilled, have amazing sex and just very, very deeply in love. We've been thinking about when we're older, you know, maybe things when –
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
they get stale or a bit boring in our sex life we will attend a lesbian sex club together with the intention of you know spicing things up in our sex life a little bit just for each other getting turned on by each other hooking up with each other there but not involving anyone else just something to do that might be a bit different and erotic for us that we're not sort of used to.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
But the more we've been talking, we thought, hey, why wait? We should just do this while they're young and hot and still having amazing sex. Because when we're older, we may not even be interested in something like this. So we're going to be attending a bigger city next year where we know that these type of events happen. And
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
we're really looking forward to attending but I was talking to my good friend about this and she had some concerns I guess that my expectations about this kind of events were not perhaps correct she sort of caution me a little bit that people who go to these events don't usually just stay with their partner.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
Usually other people are involved and the expectation is there that, you know, you will sort of involve other people and other people will expect whoever is there. that they would be involved with other people as well. Obviously, my partner and I don't have any intention of involving other people.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
We want to just do it for ourselves, make each other feel hot and turned on and have some amazing sex there or afterwards. and just add something to our lives that we find very erotic and exciting. But I guess my question is, is it unrealistic to go to this kind of event thinking that nothing will happen with other people?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
Is it unrealistic to think that our minds won't be changed when we're in the moment and we might involve other people even though we don't really want to and we might regret it later? Yeah, and do monogamous couples go to sex clubs just to play with each other or does stuff always happen with other people?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
Hi, Deanne. I'm a 45-year-old cishet married woman living in the Pacific Northwest, and my question is about my husband. I was out of town this last weekend, and when I got back, he admitted to me that the night before, he had been drinking and watching porn and felt inspired to open his old Tinder account and
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
And this time create a profile with the intention of meeting another straight guy to masturbate with. He says he doesn't want any physical contact. He just finds the idea of being in close proximity to another guy while watching porn hot because it's taboo. I try to respond in a supportive way, but...
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
I have to admit that I had a little bit of a sinking feeling in my stomach and I'm trying to figure out how to process this. I've never dated anybody who's expressed a desire like that. I've never dated knowingly a bi guy. I've always considered myself progressive and that I would never have a problem with that. And I've even told him, you know, hey, do you think you might be bi?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
because it's okay if you are and he says no he doesn't think that he is but he does find this idea hot he's also told me that the idea of like a male male female threesome and maybe having some incidental touching with a guy in the context of both of them touching the woman is also hot to him but he doesn't really have any desire to have one-on-one physical contact with the guy
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 937
So I'm just wondering if I should take this at face value and encourage him to pursue it. We do have, you know, ourselves a good adventurous sex life. We're very much in love. But I'm also wondering if perhaps. This could be an indication that he has stronger desires for physical contact with another guy that either he's unaware of or just not comfortable telling me.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
Hi, Dan and Nancy in the At Rescue. My partner and I have been in an evolving and open relationship for 20 years. He has a new partner now he sees often and they want to have regular sleepovers too. Our nine-year-old daughter is starting to ask where her dad is when he's not home in the mornings after staying with this special friend, though, and I'm struggling with how to handle this.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
My partner wants to be upfront or honest with her, and I don't want to be deceptive or dishonest with her, in large part because I don't want her to feel ashamed about our relationship model. But I'm also worried she'll mention the sleepovers to my family, my mom, go. Or her friends, friends, parents, and I'm just really not ready for that kind of openness. I don't know if I ever will be.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
I also feel like too much information might confuse her or just be unnecessary at this age. So far, I've just been saying, I don't know where he is when she asks. So what's the best balance here between honesty with your kids and protecting our privacy or maybe more so my needs for privacy or discretion?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
Should I just finally get out of my closet and be more open or is it okay to keep things vague for now?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
Hey Dan, 33-year-old woman calling from Pennsylvania about a friendship question. So my maid of honor, who I've known since we were 14, so about two decades, and I have been fighting a lot lately. It seems like every six months or so, there is something that comes up that she says, She had her feelings hurt. I upset her. We need to talk about it in person.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
And it seems like the main thing is that there's just like a disconnect between what she expects out of me from our friendship and the type of friend that I am. So this last situation... She put together a film festival and invited me to it. And I assumed it was just one weekend that I'd already made plans for. So I told her, I'm really sorry. I don't think I'm going to be able to swing it.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
You know, can I make a donation instead to support you? And it kind of spiraled into...
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
her telling me a few days later that she has been crying multiple times this week because she was so hurt by the fact that i didn't actually open the link and look at the schedule before saying i couldn't go and i explained you know i just made an assumption i'm sorry but it sort of spiraled from there and i had a lot of feelings about
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
How I feel like this is an ongoing theme where every six months or so she gets really upset with me over something that I don't personally see as a huge deal. And I do try to make it up to her in my own way. I try to make compromises, but that doesn't really seem like it's good enough for her, which is like... really frustrating and just seems really, really tumultuous for a friendship.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
So we landed on, I need space. And I told her that. She said that is the opposite of what she needs. She wants to talk about it, but okay. I really just don't know what to do to prevent this from happening in the future. I do try really hard to listen to her, but I kind of feel like I am tiptoeing around her all the time and
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
There's a lot of situations where her feelings get hurt and the way she approaches it is just... feels very, very guilt-trippy whenever she's been telling me she's been crying all week and I need to apologize differently than I did before and that I should have known how much this meant to her, etc, etc.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
You know, I'm not a mind reader and I genuinely didn't know how much this event meant to her and... I don't think being a busy adult is personal. You know, like I'm married, I've got a dog, and my husband's been really busy with work, so I've been kind of having to pick up the slack at home.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
And she didn't really seem to consider that at all, especially, like I said, I did try to compromise and I did apologize, but my apology wasn't good enough. And that was frustrating. And, you know, we are going to talk at some point whenever I feel ready, but I don't really know how to approach the situation to prevent this from happening again.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
I don't want to break up with this friend because again, she was my maid of honor. We're really close. We've known each other for 20 years, but I also feel like we're trapped in a pattern where every six months I upset her to the point of her crying multiple times. And the only way to reconcile the situation is to give her exactly what she wants.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
And that just doesn't really seem fair to me because I don't think life is that black and white. I think it's more nuanced than that. And yeah, I just don't really know how to approach this situation.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
Hi, Dan, Nancy and the tech savvy at risk youth. This is in response to the person who was on the vacuum bed at the kink party. One of the things that came to mind was that, especially if there's a cutout only for your mouth, that the assumption is that the air gets sucked out and a vacuum gets created inside, including your ears and your ears have a lot to do with your balance.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
It's called your vestibular system. especially if you get motion sickness or are really sensitive to air pressure changes. It could be that your vestibular system was thrown off, similar to going on a really twisty ride or, you know, as your ears pop in a really fast elevator.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
Hi, Dan. I just listened to episode 940 about the daddy and the baby that is considering pumping up her breasts with saline. I'm a nurse. I work in a hospital. and there is a saline shortage right now. Hurricane Helene hit North Carolina, and it damaged the Baxter medical fluid plant there. So they are very backed up. Thankfully, all of their employees have been accounted for.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
Everybody seems to be okay, but production facility is very limited. So Daddy might want to think about either postponing this or thinking about a different way to accomplish Cool.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
Hi, Dan. This is a response to the woman in episode 940 who was concerned that her cat was into BDSM after the death of her dog. I'm a small animal veterinarian, and while I agree with Dan that you are anthropomorphizing your cat's behavior, to me this actually does sound like the cat is demonstrating signs of being in heat, which can be either a medical or behavioral issue.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
If she's not spayed, get that done. If she is spayed, it is still possible that a remnant of the ovarian tissue may have been left behind, and there's actually a blood test that your veterinarian can perform to rule this out.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
If that's not the culprit, this type of behavior can also be exhibited when a cat is stressed or anxious, and there's just been a big change in the social structure of the house for your cat after the loss of your dog. Your vet can also talk to you about over-the-counter or prescription calming therapies, environmental enrichment, and other strategies to
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
to make her feel more secure and redirect this unwanted behavior. But for goodness sake, your job is not to be a surrogate sexual partner for your cat. And stop biting her. As Janine Garofalo once said in that quirky 90s rom-com, The Truth About Cats and Dogs, love your pet. Don't love your pet.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
So I've known this top for about 10 months. We've been casually hooking up like usually at least once a week and still seeing other people. And we decided we want to have a threesome and I knew a bottom. who was interested. So the three of us started hanging out and we were nervous and then we started hooking up. And at first it was pretty great.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony, well, there's nothing you can't ask on the Savage Love Cast.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
But then when it came to topping time, the other bottom was in a cage. And when I went to top, I kept getting soft because I was nervous. And so the one top ended up topping both of us. And for the most part, it was like me kissing one of them while they fucked. which wasn't great. But then towards the end, it ended up just being the top topping the other bottom while I just laid in the bed.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
And I was like, oh, wow, this is going on for a long time. And damn, they're really into it. He's moaning in ways that I've never heard him moan before. And then... They went to switch positions after a period of time and I was not in the position still. And so I decided to excuse myself and I just went in the other room and sat on my phone and, you know, tried not to wallow in my low self-esteem.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
Then they like came out and I like tried to pretend like nothing was wrong. And I was like, that was fun. Let's do this again. Obviously it was pretty in my feelings, but like, I can't tell if this is like valid or Or if it's like a childish reaction to just not feeling, I don't know, not feeling like my ego satisfied. I didn't say anything during the sex. I didn't say it to include me.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
We didn't talk about it beforehand. I just thought it was kind of obvious that we'd like... you know, that like we'd be included and I'd be fucked. And I guess I'm wondering like, how do I like process these feelings of inadequacy? The other bottom kind of told me right after like, hey, sorry, I got carried away.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 941
And then when me and the top tried to hook up again, I like couldn't get into the moment because I was just having flashbacks. And I was just thinking like, damn, he'd be having so much fun fucking the other person. Like, like my mojo is just gone. And I'm wondering how I get it back. Do I need to do a therapy workbook? How do I get over feeling like a kid with hurt feelings? I'm not sure.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
Hello, this comment is for the caller, the 64-year-old caller who is attracted or turned on by cowboys. And I just wanted to offer an alternative. I recently went to a queer line dancing thing in LA, and I know that they have it in New York City as well.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
So I think that a lot of us country folks who got the fuck out of there are sort of reclaiming that space and bringing a nurturing, erotic, safe approach to that community that we were thrown out of. So maybe... you know, he could go and be an observer and just watch these like beautiful cowboys dance with each other.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
And I think that he can actually take that and run with it in this sort of reclaiming of space.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
Hey, this is a Magnum subscriber and I'm calling in with a comment for the young woman who called it, who was with the guy who came too fast and then was a jerk. I totally agree with everything that Dan said. I just wanted to add that as a speedy ejaculator myself, much older than the age you are. I would have really really loved to have been with someone as kind as you when I was 18 years old.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
I think what you said was exactly what I would have liked to hear. I'm really sad that this guy who you were with Couldn't hear it and respond in kind. I just think you should just keep on doing what you're doing, and you will get with guys who are able to receive what you are offering them, all that kindness and sensitivity, and you will find a guy who...
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
either comes too fast and is really appreciative that you are kind about it. And you will get with guys who then start to understand that good sex is not all about the hard deck. So thank you.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
Hi, Dan. I wanted to respond to this straight man from the East Coast asking about women with foot fetishes. I would have agreed with Dan's response, theoretically, regardless of my personal experience, but as of a month ago, I can verify there's at least one woman on the planet with a foot fetish.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
I met someone recently for the dating apps, and after coming back to my place, things escalated when she started giving me a foot massage. I've never fantasized about feet myself, but not only did this girl give a damn good foot massage, started to really turn me on, and things escalated from there into a fun, kinky time.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
We've only met up a couple of times, but on both occasions, the intimacy starts with a sensual foot rub. And in between dates, she has dropped a couple flirty texts about massaging my feet. So yeah, I'm calling that a foot fetish, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Given my limited sample size, I'll assign 1% to the proportion of the female dating pool that has foot fetishes.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
Hi, Dan and the tech-savvy at-risk youth, long-time listener and Magnum subscriber who is a cishet male in his mid-40s living in the Midwest, dating an early 40s cishet woman in the Deep South long distance for about the last year. We see each other in person once a month on average, but FaceTime pretty much every day.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
She isn't a listener of the show, but knows that I am and suggested that I shoot this question to you. Passionate romantic kissing has always been the fuel to my erotic engine, but it is erotic kryptonite for her. This isn't an issue of oral hygiene as I'm someone who flosses, brushes, tongue scrapes, and uses mouthwash multiple times per day.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
My dental hygienists love how easy I am come checkup time. The thing is, she's neurodivergent and for her, the wetness of romantic kissing and the close facial proximity are something that take her out of the moment and make her feel suffocated. It basically kicks in her fight or flight response. This has been the case with all her past partners as well, so it's not unique to our relationship.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
For me, the wetness and closeness of faces is the thing that makes my motor run. All of that said, I'm a firm believer in neuroplasticity and the ability to rewire ourselves, but I'm having a really hard time rewiring myself to get the same jolt of excitement through other activities alone.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 932
We have an incredibly solid connection with great communication, but this is something we want to solve, so we're both getting what we need out of the relationship. So Dan, how can I change my erotic engine to run on alternative fuels?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
Hi Dan, mid-thirties, married gay guy here from the UK. My husband and I have been together for nine years, married for the last five. We began monogamous and spent years talking about it, and two years ago we decided that we wanted to explore opening up our relationship. It started off with a threesome with a good friend of ours.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
It was both of our first ever threesomes, and we liked that it was with someone that we felt close and comfortable with. After that initial threesome, we continued to sleep with this third person regularly and still do. 18 months later, my husband and I were only open with this third person.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
We had grown really close with him and he'd been privately referring to us as a throuple for lack of a better word for it. My husband and I then decided to open up our relationship further and see where it goes. At the beginning, I was really hesitant, but in the last six months or so, I have really come into myself and my sexuality.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
Going to my first ever bathhouse and exploring cruising, which I had never done before. I never felt comfortable doing anything like that when I was younger. As I have gotten older, I have a sense of confidence and freedom that is just so liberating. I'm really enjoying myself and would love to continue exploring these new things and this new side of me.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
My husband, however, is realising that anonymous hookups are not really for him. I'm thinking he might be more of a demisexual even if he hasn't labelled himself. He also doesn't really feel comfortable dating people as it feels like this is a bit too serious for him. This has left a bit of a gap between us.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
He feels like he needs to keep up with the hookups that I'm having, even though it's clear that he does not like doing it. We currently have a no secrets policy regarding our exploits. So we do tell each other before each time we have a hookup. Dan, how do I navigate this situation?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
I want to continue exploring my whole phase, but I feel conflicted because my husband just does not like this part of me. I love him so much and I don't want to hurt or upset him. He has never stopped me doing anything. I can always tell that it upsets him. He wants to keep up.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
So about the guy in episode 935 whose girlfriend went nuclear when she caught him sexting online. I couldn't help but notice that he said he did this dozens or hundreds of times a night when he was single and despite his best intentions, could not break the habit when he ended up in a couple. Dozens or hundreds of times a night. I would go nuclear too.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
Plus, I would be pretty upset if I were one of the hundreds of women whose time he was wasting. I know that you're not a fan of the concept of sex addiction, but something's going on here.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
Hi, this is feedback for episode 935 about the discussion about gay men calling their assholes a pussy or cunt. As a cis woman, I do find this kind of offensive. Not like offensive offensive, but like a little bit lowercase offensive. Not in the bedroom. You can say whatever you want in the bedroom.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
But when people online who are cis men are talking about their pussy or their cunt, I'm just like... Even putting aside pregnancy, childbirth, and Republican legislation, you've never had a period. You've never had a yeast infection. You've never had a pap smear. You've never had vaginismus. You've never had lichen sclerosis, which I have.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
You've never had, you know, all of these experiences that are part of the challenging side of having an actual pussy. And I just feel like it's really minimizing to...
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
say like oh yeah pussy equals sex so like we all have pussies now ha ha ha ha it's like no there's actually a lot more that comes with it that we go through and it feels like that's like kind of lightweight erased you know again not not majorly offensive but i just don't like it i i think come up with a different word man like pussy and cunt are kind of taken
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
Hey, Dan and everybody. This is a cis het woman in my early 40s, and I'm calling with a comment about your Magnum conversation with Caleb Herron, where you were trying to address a caller who was worried that gay men calling their asses or little special places a cunt or a pussy was disrespectful. I'm with Caleb on this. He said he's not thinking about women when he's fucking a guy.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
And I honestly don't care what gay men call each other's body parts when you're fucking.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
Hi, Dan, 26-year-old non-binary person calling from Europe. My story starts the way all good stories start. I am having an argument with my partner. I recently had a really, really bad time with COVID. I didn't think it was supposed to be that bad at this point, but it was. I had all the things, short of breath, faint, muscle pains.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
losing my sense of taste and smell and yeah just really horrible time and uh yeah for about 24 hours i was not able to get out of bed and feed myself and dress myself so very dependent on other people to help me so i contacted my partner who i had luckily recently made out with when i tested positive corona luckily because he didn't actually get sick he still isn't sick
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
But it meant that there was a person who had already exposed, so he could come and take care of me. We don't live together, by the way. I ask him to come over, and his first response is, actually, you know, he is having a bit of a bad day, and he just doesn't want to see me, just wants to be alone. I don't really have any other options than him.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
Like, he's the only one with extra keys, he's the only one who I have already exposed, so I basically proceed to begging him to come over and please feed me, because I don't know how else I'm gonna get fed. In the end, he does, but he makes it very clear that he's not gonna...
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
physically comfort me in any way he's not gonna pet my hair he's not gonna kiss me he's not gonna give me any even comforting words he's just gonna put down the food and then he's gonna go without a word which he does and it feels really bad because i am more sick than i have been in a very very long time and it's scary and i really want comfort from my partner
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
Of course, it's not my right for him to touch me. Of course, it's his right to refuse to touch me. I, of course, respect his boundaries. But I just think that it's pretty shitty behavior from a long-term partner. to refuse to give me any sort of physical comfort in that situation. By the way, he's made it clear he's not afraid of catching corona in any way, so that is not the issue.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
He just didn't feel like I had the right to be comforted, And I don't feel like I have the right either. I just think it's kind of shitty. And I guess that's what we're stuck at. I want an apology for him not being more caring. And he refuses to give me an apology because he feels it's his right to not want to touch me or comfort me.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
Hey Dan and crew, 30 year old bisexual woman. My family has gone through a whole bunch of stuff in the last couple of weeks. It started six weeks ago where after a few weeks of my dad's declining health, my mom was looking through his phone for some doctor information and found evidence of his affair before he left for those specialists that same morning.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
She'd gotten out of him, but it had been three years. A lot of his friends knew about it, who also knew my mom, and she was just devastated. I mean, we all were. She told us that day, and we lost contact with my dad that night, only to find him in the hospital the next morning. It was a very swift decline after that.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
Within a week, he was dead from alcohol withdrawal that none of us had suspected. I mean, in hindsight, we kind of know now, but it was all very shocking at the time, to say the least. I've been okay with regards to losing my dad. We weren't particularly close, and that's all well and good.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
But it's been pretty tough, to say the least, to sort of be with my mom and support my mom and the rest of my siblings, but mostly my mom. in the aftermath of this, because she didn't see it coming. Most of my siblings, including myself, were not particularly surprised to hear that my dad had had an affair, but obviously it's shocking nonetheless.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
My mom has made a couple of very genuine entreatments that this doesn't affect mine and my younger sister's ideas of marriage or whatever. I'm partnered. My younger sister isn't. My older siblings are married. I personally have a bit of a history with a lot of relationship trauma and sexual trauma. So needless to say, this was a lot of bad reinforcement coming from too close to home.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 936
I've always been interested in your thoughts on infidelity. I think You can separate the nuance for different situations, but I guess I'm just curious what your thoughts are about how to heal from this and how to not get cynical when you're confronted with really traumatic situations related to sex and relationships like this.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
Hi. I am a 64-year-old politically aware queer white man living in an East Coast academic milieu, and I have the most disreputable sexual fetish possible, a cowboy fetish. I know perfectly well that cowboys are inherently racist, reactionary, and beyond redemption. but I can't help it. Forget Top Gun or Gladiator, my idea of Hollywood's softcore porn is tombstone.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
Why did it have to be cowboys, rather than something respectable like gladiators or skinheads? It's not that I have a rigid physical type, but it's still cowboys I'm attracted to. I'm all too aware that for an East Coast queer academic like me to moon after cowboys is inappropriate behavior not even Camille Paglia would approve.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
How can I expunge this cowboy finish from my being and make myself over into a respectable, queer, white, 64-year-old male?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
Hey there, Dan and the tech-savvy at-risk youth. Great guy from the East Coast here. And I had a little question, a little curiosity. Are there women out there with a foot fetish?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
I have heard from a number of my female friends and some of my female partners that they've been with men with foot fetishes, but I've never met a woman who's expressed one or even really heard of a woman who's had a foot fetish. So yeah, it just got me curious. Are there kinks that are gender specific or sort of gravitate towards a particular gender?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
Hey Dan, I'm a cis queer woman married to a cis het man. We're both in our late 30s, we've been together for over a decade, and we've been exploring E&M for the last year. It was my idea, and so far I've been the more active participant, attending local mixers and events and going on solo dates. We've gone on a few double dates together, and we've also each had some solo virtual fun.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
Recently, my husband connected with a woman in another city many hours away, and they've really hit it off. Not only do they have interesting and engaging conversations, they also seem to be super aligned kink-wise. I've
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
always been turned on by the idea of my husband with another woman and part of me is grateful to her because I get to reap the real life benefits of their virtual play but another part of me is like who is this bitch trying to steal my husband My logical mind realizes that is not the case, but my emotional mind won't let me forget about my insecurities about being rejected and left behind.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
Fortunately, my husband and I have really solid communication and I've already shared this all with him, but I'm wondering if you have any additional insight into walking this fine line between desire and jealousy. I'd love to get to a point where I'm not anxiously awaiting his return after he has a call with her.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
This is a message for the man in episode 930 who was feeling pressured to give women
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
multiple orgasms or more multiple orgasms than their previous lovers and that's what I do find it tends to be I've had this experience with men and it tends to be something that is less based in my pleasure and more based in some competitive desire to be the best lover I've ever had and they're competing with the men who came before them and not really focused on me
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
Hi, Dan, Nancy, and the tech savvy at-risk youth. This is a comment for the trans man in episode 930 who had a puzzling interaction, possibly exciting interaction with a higher-up in his company at a hotel bar. I think that the options that you presented were great, and more than likely it was that he was expressing his interest in, you know, a man without a dick.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
But the other option that wasn't covered is that if he knows that you are trans and he knows that you're gay, he may see a friendly, approachable person who's out and proud, who he might be able to process through some of his feelings with. So instead of going and just going for it and possibly creating an awkward situation, if that wasn't what he was insinuating, I would say approach him as,
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
a friendly, as someone who he could talk to about his feelings, about his queerness, all of that, and that you would like to get to know him more, and either something will develop physically, or maybe he just wanted someone in the company who can understand a little bit more of what he's feeling.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
Hi, Dan. This is for the guy in episode 930 who was injecting meth into his penis because he liked it when it was small. I think a much better approach, or would be for him to find an erotic hypnotist.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
A good erotic hypnotist could set up a trigger so that every time this guy looks at his dick, he thinks and sees it as being really small and tiny and shrinking, which will mesh better with his kink and won't have any physical side effects.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
Hi, Dan. I'm in my 30s. I've got quite a sensitive question. My brother has been going out with the most lovely girl for about seven years now. He has bought a ring. He's about to propose, which normally would be absolutely fantastic. He's my little brother. He's always kind of played the field a lot. This is his longest relationship. But I know that he cheats on her quite a lot.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
It really annoys me. I've had the conversation with him and he's just like, oh, whatever. It only happens when I'm on a night out with the lads. And yeah, it's upsetting to me because I've been cheated on in the past. And I really, really, really like this girl. I would love to be a part of her family, but...
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
It's upsetting for me to see her treated like that when I know that she has no idea because we've had many conversations about monogamy and I know she has no idea. And I don't want to break up this wonderful relationship that they have, but it makes me very uncomfortable the thought that I will be at a wedding that is just based on lies. Don't want to fall out with my family.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 931
Don't want to fall out with anyone. But I just feel like... she should be told, or he needs to tell her. He's not grasped how big this is for women who are monogamous.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
You're listening to the micro version of the Savage Lovecast at savage.love.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
I quickly realized that we weren't right for each other. He comes from an incredibly traumatic past. But at the same time, he has a lot of emotional needs that I just can't meet. I've seen people behind his back. Things got a lot more serious than I anticipated right away. And every time that I tell him that I can't give him everything that he needs, it's not in my nature to be monogamous.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
The breakups are really intense on traumatic levels. It ends up in screening matches where things are being thrown about. He threatens to do stuff that could put him in harm's way. And he also has made public posts defaming me, disclosing that I cheated and that I lied and everything. That I'm ungrateful and that I sleep around. And my parents have seen that.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
And he threatens to go to my parents again and tell them that, you know, I'm a horrible person. And he's not a liar if I leave him. I don't know what to do on the outside. I seem like a strong woman that manages a business of several employees and holds public office and does all of these things in her community. But right now I feel like I'm alone.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
I'm terrified of leaving this person because they might wreak havoc into my life. And I somewhat feel responsible because, yes, I did cheat. I wasn't honest a lot of the time. I don't know what to do. This is alienating other people that are closing my life and I need help.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
Dan, I have a real mess for you. I was flirting online with other women when my partner found out. This was definitely in violation of our agreement, and she threw me out. Before she did that, she went nuclear and messaged all of my friends and all of our children saying, And her own children, particularly her youngest daughter, who's 14, saw her crying and hysterical.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
Now, she would like to get back together. And this daughter is saying, if you get back together with him, I will live only with my father. So she is standing in the way of us getting back together, if we even should. Also, police were involved in the division of our belongings, and I'm still considering getting back together with her.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
Please give us advice about how to work around her kid so she's still seized for half the time, and if we should get back together at all.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
The police were involved. I asked for an escort. I was going to the house when she was not there. There was no gunplay. I probably could have done it without them. But to be on the safe side and not be accused of a crime later, I did ask for a police escort, which turned out to be surprisingly easy.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
So I would message other women. I got in some bad habits when I was single and do this dozens or hundreds of times a night when I was single and lonely. And I did not break the habit when I ended up coupled. And I would send a quick note saying, well, aren't you lovely on Facebook or something like that in several Facebook groups I was in. And in one case, I did have cyber sex with an ex.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
So that was more than flirting, and that was out of bounds. And I certainly knew I was breaking an agreement when I did it.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
Well, I do not feel like I have the position to agree with you, Dan, but I agree with you. Also, I've never gotten one of those notes, so please send one.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
Well, she has trauma and she was triggered. And I think she reverts to the age of the trauma.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
I understand. I had the feeling I was dealing with two 14-year-olds for part of that time.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
I have not signed a lease on a new apartment, but I have somewhere to stay. Stay there.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
I might have gotten away without calling the police, but the police were definitely a red flag.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
It was more for being safe going to the apartment without her there, not being accused of stealing something later, having witnesses and having legal sanction. But there were threats that I did lodge with the court just in case. Threats you lodged with the court? She did tell me not to come to the house on a certain day because a friend would be there and that friend would have a gun.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
I, I, well, I'm going to say I'd like to repair this and repair my end of it and then see if indeed as she's claiming, it's all my fault. I caused it. Every, every retaliation she made is because of what I did. So let's take away what I did. Let's repair that. And let's see if, if she and I can have smooth sailing as we have in the past.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
Well, that's what I feel worst about. And to win her back and try to win the kid back seems a Herculean task.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
Well, forever is a long time, but I have given it up for years at a time in the past. But I understand your question.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
I don't think there's going to be pussy in that year, Dan, but thank you. That will be plan A and plan B will be the first thing you said. Great. Good luck. Thank you. Thanks, Dan.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
Hey, Dan, I'm calling about the episode with a guy who thinks he's not really bi or queer just because he's not out there fucking guys all the time and has predominantly been with women. As a bi queer woman here who's predominantly been with men and actually finds it hard to find single gay women these days, it's okay. You get to call yourself whatever you want and no one's going to guilt you.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
Except maybe other queer people, which has been my experience. Biphobia is real. But don't let that deter you. You get to decide if you're attracted to how many genders you want. Trans people, queer people, straight people. And don't let anybody tell you differently. Who you are is great. And you should stick with it.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
This is a response for the caller who asked if it was okay to have sex with a guy who didn't get consent before doing all those assholery things she described during sex and showed no remorse until of course he realized he might not get to have sex with her again. Sure, I agree with all the things Dan said, but please just remember that it's all if you think you can contain his assholery.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
Go for the amazing sex if you're comfortable despite him showing you exactly what kind of person he
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
pants off again who in the middle of having this amazing sex might remember that he doesn't care enough about you as a person to keep his word and keep his condom on someone who might take the condom off without your consent and might decide that to him amazing sex is when he ignores what he promised you and decides to come inside you again just make sure that the sex is so amazing that it's all worth it even if all that happens
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
This is a response to the Bye Curious caller in episode 934. I was in a really similar situation this summer. I'm a bit older than you, but, you know, I'd been thinking about being with a guy for a long time.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
Finally tried it out and finally, like, you know, I'd been going on Grindr for a little while and looking up, you know, different guys and, you know, finally just said, okay, let's try it out and connected with a couple of different people and had some fun. I was super honest with people. I was like, hey, I'm open to this, not open to that just yet until we get to know each other. We had fun.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
People were really great. There were definitely a couple of people who got super aggressive with me online, and I just cut that off. You know, just like, okay, I don't think this one's for me. Have a nice day. But I think there's tons of men out there who will be very happy to have fun with you, and none of them are going to, like, you know.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
I was with one of them twice, but, you know, that was the only recur. And I think they're just all happy to have fun and be with a bi-curious guy, an inexperienced guy, exactly as you said, Dan. So good luck, caller.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
Hi, Dan. I am a mom who lives in the Midwest, and I have an elementary-aged child who, for the past three to four years, has expressed themselves to be non-cis-het. Recently, they came out as non-binary and have said that their pronouns are they-them and I am obviously respecting that and that's all fine.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
And every time they express themselves to be non-cis head conforming to me, I always reassure them that they are very loved and accepted. So my question is beyond that, making sure they know that they are loved and accepted for themselves, what can I do to support them? What would have been something you would have wanted your parents to do when you were younger?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
What are some things that other people in the LGBTQIA community that listen to your podcast would What would they have wanted their parents or their caregivers to have done when they were young and still figuring out who and what they were?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
Hi, Dan. I'm a 36-year-old divorcee. My husband and I have 10 years divorce because we just wanted different things. And I don't think he felt supported by me very much. We were poly more because I wanted him than he so. And also I'm involved in a family business. I hold public office. I volunteer a lot in my community and I'm involved in a lot of creative projects.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 935
So I don't have a lot of time for relationships. After we divorced, I started dating around. And to various degrees of success, I consider going mono with other relationships that I already had going. I also met new people. And one of them has become particularly taxing. And I know that I should leave. And it's been a nightmare trying to cut loose.