Here's a little friendship drama to start the New Year: A woman and her pal "Jill" are going on a skiing trip in Japan with a group of people. Two of the men approached Jill to tell her they each had crushes on the caller, and asked her to broker a connection. Jill wants nothing to do with this, and the caller is bewildered. Why is Jill so angry? And how should she proceed? A man has a 22 year-old nephew who he suspects is gay. The lad is immersed in conservative Christian culture, and if he is gay, has let no one know. Should the caller broach the subject and try to inspire him to find a version of Christianity that will accept him? Or keep his avuncular mouth shut? On the Magnum, Dan welcomes back Tawny Lara, aka The Sober Sexpert, and the author of Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze. She is on to talk about partying like a sorority sister without all the champagne or cocaine. And she encourages an embrace of Damp January- you know, drink a little less maybe? And, woman has been hooking up with a man for a few months, having great sex. But he never lets her sleep over at his place, and she's never met his friends. Then he dropped the bomb that he is about to become a baby daddy. Their relationship will surely change. But should she disregard the red flags here? Happy New Year one and all! [email protected] 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.
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This week's intro goes out to my bye guys. I have a special holiday message for you. Something I want you to carry into 2025. Buck the fuck up you guys for fuck's sake. All right, let me back up. Let me explain. I got online on Christmas Eve for just a minute, a single minute. I am not addicted. Getting online doesn't mean what it used to.
I don't want to date myself here, but I'm old enough to remember when getting online meant leaving the room, sitting in front of a giant computer that took up most of your desk, and then this blasted from your computer speakers. And that announced to everyone in the house, announced to everyone in the fucking neighborhood, that you were getting online and probably about to masturbate.
Nowadays, getting online just means taking a quick peek at your phone while you're maybe standing in the kitchen waiting for the cream in the mixer to turn into whipped cream so you can serve it with dessert. So I don't have a problem. I just quickly glanced at a social media platform to pass the time while I was making whipped cream.
A social media platform I no longer post on, but where I do still lurk. And there I encountered discourse. A bunch of bi guys got online on Christmas Eve to complain about the women, the straight women, who won't date them because they're bi. And I was distracted. I got sucked into the discourse and overwhipped the cream and had to throw it away and start over. So maybe indeed I do have a problem.
Anyway, first I want to say, Hashtag not all bi guys, not all bi guys everywhere got online on Christmas Eve to complain about the straight women who won't date them. This very special, very niche New Year's Eve intro is going out to not all bi guys everywhere.
It's going out to the bi guys who I saw complaining about the straight women who won't date them on a social media platform on Christmas Eve. Guys, most men don't want to date other men and gay men. We do fine.
Lewis Oakley, a bisexual writer and activist in the UK, wrote a piece about this phenomena for The Independent a couple of years ago that got passed around on Christmas Eve, headlined, Why Don't Women Want to Date Bisexual Men? Oakley's piece has the stats. He brings the data. He cites and bemoans, quote, studies finding only 19% of women would date a bisexual man. Only 19%? That's bad?
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