Matt Gourley
Appearances
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
What car? 1987 Buick LeSabre. Okay.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
Did you know that pirates have an eye patch? Not because they're missing an eye. Mine was relevant.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
He kind of forced it in.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
This is your engineer.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
I'm sorry. I'm not sure who that is.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
Yeah, it's all upper body red with a huge red pompadour. Yes. I mean, you can't even tell what's head and what's like mating plumage or whatever that is.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
Hi, Adu. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
Yay! Oh, look at that. I'll take it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
Congrats, Adu.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
I was going to say, you're telling him all this stuff.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
Is it true they take place over more than a day, right?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
I'll handle the Oscars.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
And best picture goes to Goldfinger.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
During the ceremony, will your eyes be kind of wandering up into the sky? I said, I do.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Double-Billed QuixlQuaxl in Honor of Aadu (Re-Release)
Is your fiance into birds?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan O’Brien Must Go: Spain Roundtable Discussion
This is after she's been polite for a while.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan O’Brien Must Go: Spain Roundtable Discussion
I watched it. And as somebody who was not really involved and not a fan of Conan and not a fan of yours at all. And, you know, we have these staff screenings. Everybody was just laughing. It's a really, really funny show. It's great. And I love it. And I did learn something about Spain.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan O’Brien Must Go: Spain Roundtable Discussion
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan O’Brien Must Go: Spain Roundtable Discussion
Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan O’Brien Must Go: Spain Roundtable Discussion
I have a knack for Spanish.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan O’Brien Must Go: Spain Roundtable Discussion
Yes, you can get your way through. I've heard him, and I think sometimes he talks, you speak very quickly. Oh, you have to speak very quickly.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan O’Brien Must Go: Spain Roundtable Discussion
Yeah, he was such a handsome pilot.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
This Is My Deal Here, Wade
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
This Is My Deal Here, Wade
Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Canada O'Brien
But it won't work for, like, you can't, you're going to sponsor them for now, but when they go to the Olympics, it's just going to say Canada on it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Never Ask Directions In Rabat
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Never Ask Directions In Rabat
Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan Recaps The Mark Twain Prize Ceremony With Mike Sweeney
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan Recaps The Mark Twain Prize Ceremony With Mike Sweeney
Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan Recaps The Mark Twain Prize Ceremony With Mike Sweeney
Oh, my God. Sarah Silverman.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Long In The Leg
I'm too happy. You're making fun of your one Dutch fan.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Long In The Leg
It's goofy. Can you let her answer the question, please?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Get Over Myself!
Yeah. Blown away. So I know I'm basically a glassblower.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Get Over Myself!
I don't know the official... I don't know what the name is.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Get Over Myself!
Oh, my God. What's this? It's like a Sherlock Holmes pipe. That is really sweet, Dan. Thank you so much.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Get Over Myself!
That is so, that really means a lot. Thank you very much.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
Yeah, because also if you get them on the way out, maybe they didn't wash their hands and touch them.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
Is that not his name? I thought when he first said it, I thought that was his actual name.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
I thought it was his name and I was like, don't laugh, Sona. Everybody thought it. When we first heard Anus, we all stopped ourselves from laughing.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
Oh, that kind of balloonist. I thought making animals.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
I thought we were all doing the toit. No, Tony, you didn't do it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
You are flattered by this. Don't you want the picture to be more sort of out in the open?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
It's one thing when they come take your Maserati, but when they take your skeleton... If I had a dime.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Yeah, because what if you meet someone that's just as into it as you are?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Would you either want that or do you kind of like to keep it for yourself?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Just like Booth, you're in your little hole. In my little hole.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
Did you know that pirates have an eye patch? Not because they're missing an eye. Mine was relevant.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
Yeah, it's all upper body red with a huge red pompadour. Yes. I mean, you can't even tell what's head and what's like mating plumage or whatever that is.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
I was going to say, you're telling him all this stuff.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
Is it true they take place over more than a day, right?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
And best picture goes to Goldfinger. How is that possible?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
During the ceremony, will your eyes be kind of wandering up into the sky?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
Oh, okay. What kind of car? What car? 1987 Buick LeSabre.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Club Grub Hub
Is that because she was tired or she didn't want to, like, was afraid of what your kids would do in the restaurant?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
We’re gettin’ Belayed!
What an end. Surprised and chill. Okay. Well, I feel like I've got to carry on with this tradition with chill. The chill chums. I felt very chill because we were having alcohol and a lot of it. So it kind of mellows you out. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
We’re gettin’ Belayed!
Thank you. Still, I got to say, I was surprised when you said that you weren't drunk on the chill chumps thing, because I remember you slurring some words and at one point talking to us, but looking inside the drink while you're talking to us like it was a microphone.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
We’re gettin’ Belayed!
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
We’re gettin’ Belayed!
Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
We’re gettin’ Belayed!
That's right. It's that we don't have a balance. We have a like equal amount of repulsion for each other. We're pulling on each other with equal amounts. So we stay tethered.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
We’re gettin’ Belayed!
That's a whole other activity for some other children, for some team building. So you're kind of combining. Another group. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
We’re gettin’ Belayed!
I really believed that. Is that what they tell you?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
We’re gettin’ Belayed!
I'm wondering if I'll find myself in a situation where I have to push a kid down a pole. I don't know, but I'm eager to hear how to do it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan Recaps the Oscars with Mike Sweeney
those are my muses but also Sweeney weren't you we were in we were in Austria and weren't you trying to then pull together this writer's room yes from across the world as well in Austria during the day you would be directing the Austria show and then at night you would come back to the hotel and then we would all chill and you would be going and trying to pull together I was on the phone with
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan Recaps the Oscars with Mike Sweeney
Can I also ask, you went on Kimmel, which is really funny, and he gave you advice to sit down. Did you sit down?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan Recaps the Oscars with Mike Sweeney
What do you think? I think you're a perfect fit. I think you'd be great.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Mothman Cometh
I'm just picturing a really nerdy guy. And tell me what you have. I have these. Me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Mothman Cometh
My wife, why are all these towels just all over the place? Oh, God. Sorry, dear. I was fashioning a fleshlight.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
I have not seen that movie.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Okay. It's going to be moon pies and stuff.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Not a lot of celebrities, though.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Yeah, that's true. We could do a study on this and just kind of see what the celebrity's like.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Cher was booked. Cher was.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
I know, and now you guys keep bringing her up as if we had her on the show.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Hush, you said it right.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Sorry, it's kind of expensive. If they don't take the swag, that's just kind of sad.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
I can't believe you cut off his Beyonce wearing a hot coated shirt.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
I would like another one of these.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
These gluten-free brother bites.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
And I love the snacks. I'm sorry.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
That's the worst thing you could do to chips.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Do you think this is how Santa treats his elves?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
I think he's a jolly man. He seems nice to the elves.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Oh, my God. They loved it. Oh, Jesus.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
I don't know. I mean, I think people are health conscious. No. And they want healthy snacks.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
That's true. Do you think that you have the taste buds of, like, a young teenage boy, though, Conan?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
They're good snacks. That's why people want them.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Food that's good for you. Doritos and Oreos. These are people who care about their bodies. She's getting them snacks they probably already eat anyway, right?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
This is the furthest thing from a tight ship I think I can think of.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Yes, yeah. I thought you said an octopi.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
What's wrong with any of that stuff, though?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
If this was the North Pole and you were Santa, there would be no Christmas.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Elle Fanning Returns
I'm all set to go. I put on a hundred and put on 150 pounds of muscle.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Ricci
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Ricci
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Ricci
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
But I'm wearing it for- The red onesie's his new nickname.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Can I offer a suggestion? Especially if it's coming from Sona, that she should be paid more because the product is being monetized is primarily hers.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
What do you mean? This is definitely wood. This is definitely wood.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Well, now I hate to do this, but can I add, most of the time when you do that, it is unmonetizable. Yeah. Because it cannot go public.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Okay, so today we have Eduardo, who is currently hiding behind his monitor.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
This guy's never had a single hiccup for how long has he been working here? I know, but can I say something?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
What was even the conversation that you were supposed to save for the mic? We don't even know it. We don't even know anymore. I don't remember.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
You're going to monetize our little anecdotes about how we've been and what we've been doing over the past. That's exactly what I would do.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Oh, my God. You know what you've done to our friendship? You've fractured it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Whichever one it is for 20 years. Oh, whereabouts? Belmont Shore. You live so close to me. I'm on Naples. Oh, my God. I lived in Naples for a little bit, too. Oh, my gosh. Do you want to be friends?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
You still live in Belmont? No, I live in Pasadena now. Oh, you went the wrong way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
I will say this. Just a teaser for the segment in this episode. We have some Ralph Fiennes-related content to cover.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Maybe, if anything, maybe the odds are better.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Ring-a-ding-ding. And Ray finds for what it's worth, same here, buddy.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Okay, I have something very tangentially Oscars related, which I don't think I've said on my count how great a job you did. Oh, thank you very much.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
The Oscars are big in our family. It's like the Super Bowl. And my wife sat down with my daughter to do a little arts and crafts. And they decided that they would try to predict what all of the famous people would be wearing at the Oscars. Interesting. Okay. And so I just want to show you. Because your daughter is quite young. She's three and a half. Three and a half. And so is my wife. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
All right. And this is what my wife did for Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande. Okay, I just want to show this. Wait a minute.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
That's insane. And so now I'm living with a woman who is convinced she's psychic. And I don't believe in that kind of stuff, but now I have to say, I don't know what's real anymore.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
She had no idea. She just took a guess. I think she was going kind of off their wicked characters a little bit. But isn't this incredible?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Yes. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. It certainly is.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Well, wait until you see how my daughter draws. Okay.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Well, that's it for that. But this came up earlier about Ralph Fiennes. This is my daughter's prediction of what Ralph Fiennes would be wearing. Again, spot on. She says that's his little hat. Okay. But then this is where it gets pretty interesting. This is Zoe Saldana.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
oh okay okay and my favorite here adrian brody and she pointed out what all the pieces are here oh little bow yeah hair bum bum that's his butt and a toot coming out oh a fart he poopies in potty and he does go pee pee is it his pee pee or he's peeping i think he's You know, I'm not sure.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
We don't need your recital of the facts. Oh, by the way, if you want to see these, just go to at Team Coco podcasts on Instagram.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
To my recollection, it was Goldie Hawn, Jane Fonda, and Al Pacino.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Yeah. But nobody got Goldie Hawn because she came in in like a body glove wetsuit or something like that. Remember? Is it a wetsuit? No, it wasn't a wetsuit, but it was like a sport tank top or something. It was very beachy. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Like he's happy to see everyone. Yeah. I'm worried about next week because we have four sessions on the book. And by Friday, he's just going to be beating us.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
You know, can I talk about something that you don't know how it works that would help me in editing? Is every time when you do the intro and you say, these are my guests, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you say their name is the last thing you say. I really need a pause there because there's a musical break between that. And I always have to find a strange edit.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
No, it's nothing you're doing wrong. You didn't know, but I just didn't want to try to explain that to you.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Do you want to just try it again with their names one more time?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
I believe you've still got, is your Hailey Beaver smoothie over there?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Let's try this out, okay? Okay, go ahead. Hey, what's up, granddad? How'd you get in here?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Hey, guys, gather around. I'm hearing some crazy whack history stories. This guy's off the hook.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
You should have your headstone laser-etched with that, but there's a little opening that just shoots milk out of your mouth.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
I both want credit for it and I feel sexually harassed. So I'll sue you from both sides.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
All right, we have a mystery to solve that maybe only you can solve. Okay, let's hear it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
This is an article on Cracked. Colorado park rangers are desperate to know why they have a photo of Conan O'Brien in their office. So it's a signed photo that's hanging in these rangers' office. And I guess they've changed personnel and there's enough turnover that nobody knows what the story of it is. And in the article, they're basically asking, can you shed some light on this?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
I'll show, okay, here's the actual tweet.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
From the Colorado Park Rangers Northeast region. Hey, at Conan O'Brien, we realize you're a bit busy today. This was during your Oscars. But at some point, can you explain the sign pic at Roxborough State Park in Littleton, Colorado? No one knows the story, and we would really love to.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
You clearly left your mark on the park, though, and it says, your autographed photo says, to the Park Rangers, best, Conan O'Brien. And then they tweeted a picture of all the mountains with little orange pompadours on them.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
It's on the TV if you want to look up Conan.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
I don't know if this will help or hurt, but the first ad on this page, too, is a big picture of an enlarged prostate. It has nothing to do with age. Just stop doing this one common thing. Can we play the local news segment that's on that page? There's a video there.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
Let us know. This must be the most amazing place to live that they have literally no news.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
What did Conan O'Brien mean when he said, we're coming for you?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
That's good. Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
So last week we did a collection of notable clips from our segments and intros was just you, me, and Conan.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
One other major thing that happened with Tom Hanks that we have to cover is that he was the second but no less significant A-list celebrity to look diagonally across this table from the chair. I'm sitting in right now and tell Aaron Blair to shut the fuck up.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Blair, what did that feel like?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
You don't have to shout, Blair.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Now there's three A-list celebrities that have done it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
This week we're doing some notable clips that kind of came to mind from so many wonderful moments this year of the celebrity interviews.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
But there has to be a third.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
But will it happen organically? Will it be someone that is aware of this?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
That's why a third one is going to blow the roof off this place. I know what you're saying, though, about being in the eye line. I am in Conan's direct eye line throughout the whole entire interview. And I find the more esteemed the guest, this is a look behind the curtain here. Oh, I agree with you.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
The less he will look at the guest and the more he will talk to me, which makes me so, because I have to do that fuel face where I'm fueling him with energy and admiration and laughs.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
And it's not like it's not legitimate. It is. But I'm very conscious of, I've got to keep this guy going. Here I go. And it's just a hell of a thing.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
I am too. I am too. This next one was very special to us because Carol Burnett is an absolute legend. And we went to the Four Seasons Hotel and got to talk to her there. This is a very special story about another absolute legend, Lucille Ball. Both of these women were formative in my youth for television and everybody else, I'm sure. But this was an incredible day.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Oh, boy. We better roll it. Someone's going to need to take a break.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
What the listener won't know is that we retook this part.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
And in the first time we did it, you said banger. Okay. And since Conan wasn't here, I felt the need to point out your hard G. Yes.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
And I think that would be jude of me to not do that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Do you remember she came into that room and there was probably 15 people in that room. She shook everyone's hand, asked for their name, and then after the interview was over, said goodbye to everybody pretty much by name.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Usually a president of some kind. Yes.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
All right. This next one is Niecy Nash with a very funny story.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
And between that and Conan's story about Prince, which he's told a few times on the show right before he went on stage, the more I hear about that little guy...
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
He's just a mischief maker. Someone just told me a story that he was at a huge gala party, just as a guest, stood up on a table and hopped from table to table to table to the exit as if it was just all happening spontaneously. But then if you did any further looking down, you saw all of his people were prepared with their hands clasped together to be his little bridge from table to table to table.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
With them. This had been planned, but it was all made to seem spontaneous.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
This is also coming like third, fourth degree. Who knows if it's true, but you print the legend.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
I do too. I missed Billy Crystal, Jon Stewart, because I had to go back and see my family. And you just, you know, you curse your family.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Yeah, you're almost always here. I don't have a ton of FOMO in my life. If anything, I have a fear of not missing out. Of not? A fear of being included.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
It's a soft G. Oh. So, well, I did not miss this next one, which I am very glad for because this was a really funny guest and a really funny story.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
So this is Walton Goggins.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
He's one of those actors. Yeah. It's true.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
And he's very serious in that, right?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Well, next up are two of the most lovable people that you'll have on this show. I think Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson in a very special circumstance. I think it gets explained in the clip probably. But what a way to kick off this episode.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
But I think anybody, even Woody, probably would say it's probably not uncommon to sit and wait around for Woody Harrelson because he lives on a different clock, time zone, planet, or whatever. But this was a very special reason. Yeah. Let's watch. Let's watch.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
It looks really cool. What you can't see is didn't he also have his leg propped up? And listeners can go to the Team Coco YouTube channel and see these clips because often the clips themselves are longer as well than what you're hearing today. But this one, because also they're drinking large glasses of watermelon juice. Yeah. Or like strawberry agua fresca or something. It's just quite a sight.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
But they both like watermelon juice?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
So he's not doing those. Now you see me movies for a paycheck. It's out of love.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
We should move our studio to that dispensary and just start recording there.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
All right. Well, we're going to close this out with the Larry David clip that, man, this whole interview is one of the funniest we've had.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
I mean, what happens when you go too long with the actual party? Who's sheriff's the party sheriff?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
I think he would have just said, like, great talking to you. Thank you. And then, like, time to go. Well, the podcast sheriff has said it's time for us to wrap this up.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
That's right. We'll be back with a regular episode next week. And like I said, you can go to the Team Coco YouTube channel to see all these clips in their full lengths. And this has been a fun diversion. We're sorry for the circumstances and sending love to our boss.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Which is every three seconds.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
I don't know what I would do without you. I wouldn't have made it this far without you.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
No way. No way. You would have been okay. You're my rock.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Okay. So am I then. All right. And thank you to Adam, Eduardo, and Blaise.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
You guys make this happen. Literally, Adam, you make this happen.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Yeah, we do. Why do we need that other guy?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Okay. Happy New Year, everybody. New Year. Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Well, you pointed at me, but at the same time, you took a breath like you were going to speak. That was very confusing.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Oh, my God. Did you hear I said wow along with myself in the exact same time? Yeah, you did.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
I know. What a dork. But I don't mind because we're in the room with fucking Al Pacino.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Conan's used to this. You and I, we don't, I mean, I guess you got to being his assistant all those years. Not Al Pacino.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
It was amazing because he's so nice.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
And I was obsessed with The Godfather. One of the first movies I saw was The Godfather 2. I begged my mom to watch it at a very young age. Like three? It's one of my earliest memories of movies.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
What a treat to be in the room with that guy.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Sitting across from Michael Corleone.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
And then this next guy's no slouch either.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Thanks for going along with it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
I've never done this before. But shut up.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
That's a lateral move. You seem like a Jetta girl.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Yes. And I think I remember what I say in this. So let's roll it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Holding the fort is strong. I think opening the fort to invaders.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews
Let's see how you do this.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Lizzy Caplan Returns
I have a lot of land in Montana. In vast holdings, but I can't access them. Can I have some soup? All my money's tied up in holdings. It takes 24 hours to get the bank in Sweden to open up.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Lizzy Caplan Returns
That's a good one. Mickey. Yeah. Mickey the orphan. Mickey the 61-year-old orphan. It counts. Who's done quite well. It counts.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Lizzy Caplan Returns
Yeah, that's how I got the part. I'm an orphan. Yeah, I'm an orphan. Can I have the part?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Lizzy Caplan Returns
Yay! Eastbound and down, rolling out the road. Oh, I'm sorry, Matt.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Hader Returns Again
You know, she was like, let's go get you some jeans.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Hader Returns Again
And I was like, Warren, these guys said I should use you more. Who? Who are they? I mean, wait, wait, where are they? Oh, God.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Oh, you're talking about yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you talking about, the creator?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
They're operating in the dark. There's no vitamin D. Because a giant kind of eye binder. I mean, it's terrible what's happening to children. Sorry again. It's a big show. It's a big deal. And it's a smash hit. And so you've got to be adults. Yeah. And you've got to meet expectations and you've got a big fan base, but you also have to keep that silly joy going. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And you're doing it My favorite kind of comedy is when I can tell people are doing this for themselves. Oh, yeah. And I think one of the things I loved about Broad City, and it's the same thing I would have said about classic SCTV or so many shows that I loved, is that I had the impression that they were doing this for themselves to make themselves laugh.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And then I just happened to be stumbling upon it. Yes. And that was some of the beauty of it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I must marry this one. And then I will call her Lucia. Yeah. Her true name, Lucia. You're not fooling anyone. I've been to the DMV. I know how you spell your name.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
No, I wouldn't think it'd be easy, but I think you're also, you have such a funny cast of which you are a part, which is interesting. You wear so many hats on this show, but Megan Stalter is so funny. So funny. Yeah. You get me started on Jean Smart, who's just, she is funny in so many different ways. Yes. And when I watch her perform, I think she's not hitting one note.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
She's not hitting five notes. She can hit every note in the register. That's right. And I'm so in awe of her and happy for her that you guys created this because she needed a role. She's always been funny. Yeah. But this role shows you that she's funny and she can break your heart.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Women have been just such a big part of your comedy experience. I mean, you look at not just Lucia, not just Jen. I'm going to say Lucia. Oh, my God.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I'm sure. I'm talking about Lucia Aldente. Terrific comedy writer who lives on the island of Sardinia. Oh my God. I'm never going to say her name again. It's funny because you asked for clarity the first thing you did. I know, but can I say something? Maybe there is something wrong with me. Or maybe she and I have beef, and this is my way of getting at her. It's so passive-aggressive.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
It's so passive-aggressive. She cut me off on the 405 eight years ago.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
She can go by one name. And I rolled down my window. I went, Lucia? Lucia from now on. And she said, what? You'll see. I said, you'll see. Give this riff time to grow. Okay, Jen, Gia, Megan, you've got two powerhouse female leads. It feels to me like you've, this has always been your comfort zone is being around all these funny women. Yeah. We're Broad City. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I was reading some article about you and it said that you had a revelation when you saw Young Frankenstein. Yeah. Tell me what that was.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And I'll say this. Who in the world is funnier than Gene Wilder? Gene Wilder, that is maybe... That is my favorite performance of his, and it's so beautifully honed. And we're talking about the women in the movie. I know. And, I mean, he's one of the greats of all time, and he's giving the performance of a lifetime. And not to take anything away from him, but I can understand that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
That's a great movie for anyone to see. Yeah. And learn very quickly that women are the funniest people in the room.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
No, no, let's hear him out. Yes, thank you. We need some content for the top of the show. I was just curious, okay? So far, we haven't really hit a gusher, so let's hope this is it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
You retired the bat, yeah. Most people assume I'm a real jock. You were saying... I'm sorry, I interrupted you with my stupid... But you were saying that you were noticing early on in Nick at Night, you're watching all these women and a name you didn't mention. It was a thrilling moment for me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
There's a moment where this season where Jean Smart goes to cardiologist just to get a checkup in the waiting room. She sees Carol Burnett. Yeah. We had Carol Burnett on the podcast about a year ago. I've met Carol a bunch of times, and I will never be jaded. I'm always walking on air afterwards. And she is still so sharp and so funny, and she is great in that scene, playing herself. Unbelievable.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
The show delves into late night this year, which was fascinating for me because there are things that you cite in the show that I've lived through. And so I'll get a little bit of PTSD
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
From watching it, but it's also really funny and apt, you know, like getting notes or this is what we heard about, you know, in the early days of my late night show, um, research and what are people saying and what do we need to try and adjust? And it was all stuff that just felt impossible.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
So you talk to an AI Shakespeare. So you have a lot of free time. That's what I'm getting from this story.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I'm kind of reliving it a little bit through your show, but you guys are doing a very good job of hitting a bunch of the nerves, which means you're getting it right.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
It's crazy. There's a great moment where Deborah Vance is trying out, she's meeting the new writers for the first time and they're going around the room and there's one, people are throwing out funny ideas and then there's one writer who's new who's just like, yeah, and then he says something that's not that funny. And then she farts. Yeah. And then she farts because she farts.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Which, by the way... Which is funny. It's very funny. Sorry. I would say head writer. Yeah. Right away. He's promoted. Yeah. The fart guy's promoted. Yeah. Get fart guy back. But anyway...
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
He does it twice, and you see Jean Smart notice it, and then Jean Smart writes on a piece of paper and slides it over to Hannah, and it says, Riff Killer, which is such a great, because it's a little inside baseball, but we call it riffing, which is people are in a room, they're coming up with good ideas riffing, and then she just sides across Riff Killer, because we've all been in a room where things are cooking, and then one person in the room is like, yeah, and then maybe it's George W. Bush.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And... Everyone has to reset. No one wants to be a dick. Yeah, exactly. And we all go.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Oh, Blay. You know it's me. Okay, but I don't. You don't need to pretend. I'm right here. You don't need to just talk about it. Some people are riff killers. He thought it was a compliment, so he got it tattooed. He got riff killer tattooed on his lower back. That's nice. Riff killer. But anyway, I love that moment. And then I have to bring this up, which is, cause I just watched it last night.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
There's a scene where this killed me. It's a very funny joke and nonsensical, but Jean Smart, Deborah has stolen, is trying to steal a guest away who would have been on Kimmel and Kimmel's confronting her and saying, look, you know, I get this guest, you don't get this guest.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
She's trying to get Kristen Bell on her show and Jimmy Kimmel confronts her and says, you don't get Kristen Bell because she always does my show. She's been doing, I got sort of possession of having her as a guest after Conan died. And you know what I loved about it is that it said with no one questions it. It's just like, since Conan died, you know, I get her after Conan died.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And it's just like, that's understood. And I'm laughing because no one questions it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
We do. I think we've settled that score. No, no. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But it was so funny to me. It's such a funny, I always like jokes that upon examination, they make me laugh on a guttural level, but they also don't make sense. It makes no sense. And he says it the way we all know that Charles Lindbergh is dead. You know, it just, it was so funny. It was such a great moment.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Oh, wow. So I did not write that line. That's great. Let me write that down. Okay. He will be repaid in kind. I can't wait to mispronounce his name. Jamais. Jamais Kamel.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Oh, I would. We would absolutely love it. Then we can come up with a way that I was resuscitated. No, it's a joy to watch. And I think one of the things... that's interesting to me is it's all about like a magician makes you believe in the illusion. And so I know it's a TV show, but you guys have me emotionally invested in what happens to Debra Vance and does this late night show work?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
You were doing AI back in the 80s. Yeah, I was. When it was basically Pong. Yeah, war games. Did you guys hear that? Sorry to bust in. No, anything. Anything. Yeah. Because there's an old saying here. Oh, it doesn't matter what you three talk about. It'll be good. This is proof that it's not. We need this anyway because I'm going to edit all that out.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And I hope this late night show works out. Currently, things seem a little wobbly, but I'm emotionally invested in it, which means you've you're very good illusionists. Well, thank you. You know, you've created this world that I'm completely invested in.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I think something Hannah does really well just as an observer is that she clearly wants a maternal figure. She wants a connection with this incredibly tough You know, Jean's smart character. And she wants this so badly, but she also knows she has to be tough. And there's this great moment where, without giving anything away, but she gets a hug from Jean.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And you see Hannah kind of melt a little bit because she's getting that... connection that she really wants from not just her comedy hero, but also someone who she has a real connection with and cares about. And you see her soften a little bit, and then Jean Smart reveals that she's doing it just because there's a camera on the way. And that's why she's doing it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And she needs to make it look good for the camera. And you see the heartbreak. I mean, Hannah is killing it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I don't work with people that lift me up. Well, yeah, it's hard when you have to lift everyone up. I know it's hard. Can I just say for a second, I feel like I'm an Olympic swimmer and I have two cinder blocks around my neck. Okay, you are a jock. Yes. If you can do that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I do. I do it. And I do need it. Your character, Jimmy, your relationship with Kayla, Megan Stalter, is, I will say this, I haven't seen, I don't think I've seen that relationship before. on TV before. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
It's a relationship. That dynamic. It's a dynamic that I have. The best. And I'm flipping through my comedy nerd mind trying to find the same thing. And I'm like, nope, I don't think it's there. I think that's a new thing you've cracked. Thank you. I mean, you know. She's over the top insane. So insane. So insane. And you are trying much more. I love that. You are.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
So you go ahead. Let's start again. Oh, hold on a sec. Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
He's a normal boss. Yeah, you're insane. I love how patient you are. I love how patient you are. Your character is, Jimmy is with Kayla. It's to an end. And that's some of the comedy is to an absurd degree. And it reminds me a little bit of one of the things that makes Groucho so funny is Margaret Dumont. Because Margaret Dumont, he's acting insane. And she's next to him going like, oh, Groucho.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And then, well, anyway, let's move forward. When anyone else would say, I'm getting the fuck away from this person. But what makes it work is you... You can't, the whole dynamic of yes and is you are sticking with Kayla, with Megan Stalter. You're going to stick with her and she's going to have awful, awful ideas with great confidence.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And now your initial problem is how do I get rid of this assistant? And now you're partners in this season. And I love that you just keep turning up the dial on. And what's also great is occasionally she has a good idea.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Guess what? Yeah, that was a terrible top. No, no, no. Let's do it again. Do it again. Guess what? No one's limbo bar is lower than yours. You're like, hey, man, it was great. You guys were talking and there was talking. People love this shit.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I want to ask you a little bit about the dynamic of... Your comedy partner is also your romantic partner. And that's something that I've, fascinates me. My wife is super smart, really funny. We've never collaborated on anything. I've always thought, huh, that's a whole, that's like a Bermuda triangle that I have not gone into. And maybe we will someday, but how does that dynamic work?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
It's part of the romance. If I can make my wife really, and also if she can really laugh and she makes me really laugh, that's the glue. Yeah, that's the glue. That's the long-term glue. That's right. Have you ever wondered if Lucia said yes just because, accepted your proposal just because she was yes-anding you? Because of improv training.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
You know what I mean? Yeah. What was she going to do? You put out a scene. You laid it out there. Will you? And she has to say yes and we'll have a child. She's trained to not say no. You're right. Well, I'm saying that's the best. That's what I...
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And guess what? It was during a sketch, wasn't it? It was, yeah. And then you afterwards were crying and said, you said yes! You have to! Oh, no. Oh, God. Didn't you, you guys had your first, your only child. His only child?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Go again. Hey there and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. And we're going to get a good top out of this show if it's the last thing I do.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
They were doing their own scene. An improv class with sperm and egg. They were... It was their own scene and they crushed it. I love that idea. And scene. Sperm. You work at a gym. Egg. This is your first time at the gym. And go. You're pregnant.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
But it's also... She's earned the right to be called Lucia. Yeah, oh good. Oh, now she's been, she's earned it. You know, now I've... I'm sorry, Lucia, you're gone now. It's Lucia now, rest in peace. That's unbelievable. Yeah. That's unbelievable. So it was a crazy year. It was a really, really crazy year.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Okay, I'm starting again. Your instincts today are awful. And yours are too. You both suck. Here we go.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
What's cool too is that as you go on through your career, you have this document, the actual show where, I mean, in a weird way, I don't think about this much, but I have it too because I met my wife on a remote shoot. We went to an advertising agency and people look it up online all the time. Oh, wow. And I'm there just doing the Conan thing where I'm on a remote, being an ass.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And then I just start talking to this one woman in the room. Within seconds, I'm not even trying to be funny. We're just talking about, yeah, no, my dad, right. And so, okay. Wow. And you like cats? That's funny. Well, I had a cat when I was a kid. And my producer was listening on headphones outside the office where we were doing all this remote. It's like, what the fuck is he?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
So we have us meeting. Wow, that's really cool. Then we have the episode where I'm just back from the hospital because my daughter was born. That's really cool. And I'm talking about it on the air. Then we have the episode where I'm just back from the hospital because my son was born. I mean, I haven't really thought about it that much till this moment now, but those are weird moments.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I remember bringing my son when he was little and, no, I brought my daughter to work right after she was born. Not right after, but, you know. We wiped her down. The doctor said, yeah. She was still, umbilical cord was stretched over Ninth Avenue. Cabs weren't hitting it. Oh my God. It plays a low E note.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
But anyway, she's, I brought my daughter in when she was old enough to come in and was sitting at the, and I saw Tina Fey recently and we reminisced about this because I said, Tina, I will never forget. Tina was up in 8H. Mm-hmm.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
rehearsing Saturday Night Live and I'm down on six on the late night set and I'm sitting and I'm holding my daughter and one of the cameramen zoomed in on my daughter, suddenly double doors fly open and Tina comes running in and she was like, give me that baby. This is before she had her own daughter, but she was like, you could see that she had a baby fever. And she was like, give me that!
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
The fish heads rot from the top. Hey, Conan O'Brien here. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. We have tried seven times to start this podcast, and the assists I'm getting from my fellow players are just terrible. Instead of passing me the basketball, you guys are tossing it into the stands and then shooting yourselves with a German Luger. Matt, how are you?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Oh my God! And I almost didn't get Nev back. And then it wasn't long afterwards that she had her own daughter. But it was, I have all these memories that are, my show work is intertwined with, you know, my family, meeting my wife, falling in love, getting married. children, it's all becomes a piece and that's going to be part of all the work that you do going forward.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
That's great. Forever, yeah. Well, it's funny because after a while, I always think back to the I Love Lucy show where Lucy goes to the club to tell Ricky that she's pregnant.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
A new gear. I can help you with that and I'll be on set to pitch. I also want to give a personal shout out to an old fellow performer. One of the first things I ever did on stage was a show called Happy Happy Good Show. I did it with Robert Smigel and Bob Odenkirk in Chicago in 1988 during a writer's strike at it. And so we were at SNL and we went to Chicago and put up this very weird sketch show.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And there I met Rose Abduh. Oh my gosh. And Rose Abdu was hilarious and great. And I'm just so delighted that she's on the show. She is so funny. She's always note perfect.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
She is a trooper. She's like a vaudevillian trooper. Yeah. And, but I've looked at, not long ago, I found a program from Happy Happy Good Show. I think I'm 25. Yeah. I'm 6'4", I think I'm 155 pounds. Wow. And there's a sketch where I'm supposed to be. Jock. Exactly. Damn. Jock or Weathervane. You be the Detroit. You be the Detroit. Pole vaulter. Yeah. No, the pole. The actual pole. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I talked to Shakespeare AI the other day. You've got to hear me out on this.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And I think it's a sketch where I'm where, yeah, it's a sketch where all of us are supposed to be naked, but we're I'm holding a guitar and you can see my my body and it's a freak show. Not that it isn't now, but oh, my God. But Rose is in the picture and all of us are just really hopeful. Like, we'll get there somehow. It's just it's sweet. It's a really sweet memory for me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Why are you so determined to ruin the top of the show? This is important to me. I've always wanted a good top of the show.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Then she renamed your wife. Yeah, exactly. And you are Lucia. No, it's Lucia. Luciana. Luciana. Am I the only one who've noticed that you have the most amazing eyes? Oh, come on. And I have, I've seen it on TV, but in person, I think I've fallen in love with Paul throughout this interview.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
No, no, I have creepy killer eyes. No. Look, Beattie looking around. Oh my gosh. Look at that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
You look like one of those paintings in a haunted mansion where the eyes move. Well, I think one of us has to call your wife. I am. Very happy for you. Thank you. Massive congratulations. If you ever want me to play a parking lot attendant on your show. We need you on the show. I'm not kidding. Well, whatever.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Yeah, yeah. It's all good. I'll do whatever you guys want me to do. It doesn't matter. And I have no ego about it. I'll do craft services on this show. Oh, my God.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
All chocolate, Pirate's Booty. But anything to help get an oar in the water, like this show needs any help. I think you've won... It's insane, I can't even get into how many Emmys you've won, Peabody, but all well-deserved. Thank you. And makes me happy, always does, when these youngsters out there, and you are youngsters, are doing really good, fantastic work and killing it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
She knows how to play it. Okay. Oh, he was very kind. Suddenly, Bugatti shows up outside her door with a bow on it. Thanks for playing along, Conan. Anyway, Hacks, it is season four now. Is it season four? We're in season four, yeah. Yeah, you're in season four, and I'm five shows through and loving it. Thank you. And keep doing what you're doing. Thank you. Please, please.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I know you were thinking of stopping. Yeah. I almost retired last year. I'm encouraging you to continue. And then I said, I'll keep going. No, it was this podcast. Yeah, actually. You walked in, you're all like, I think we're going to stop now. Too much success. Oh, my God.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I was there on a junket. I got sent there. But they love you there.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
The Hotel du Cap is not a hotel that I would book myself. Okay. I was sent there because I'm not the kind of person... Look, I like a nice hotel. Look at this hotel.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Oh, it's in Eden Rock on the France. Like near Cannes. And I got sent there. They said, do you want to go and do this panel there? And we'll fly you and your wife. And this is a legendary hotel. It's insane. And I get there and they're throwing some big shindig and I do my thing. And I'll never forget seeing Bon Jovi. Oh, Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi. We'll get to you. Seeing Bon Jovi and Bon Jovi.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And I say, oh, hey, man, what are you doing here? And he went, they flew me in just to sing, you know, like a cab on a steel horse. And I said, you're singing one song. He's like, like, that's it. And they're covering everything. And I thought show business. I haven't experienced this a lot. This is fantastic. But anyway, so did we encounter each other?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Demoted to Lucia. Lucia. No, are you kidding? I would have loved that. I should have done it. I would have loved that. And as I think you will attest, you would have said, oh, I don't want to bother Conan O'Brien. You would have come up to me. We would have started chatting. I would have asked you some questions. And then within 10 minutes, you'd be saying, I think I have to go.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And I would have been like, oh, now I've got bread in my pockets too. Let's do a bit. Hey, let's meet tomorrow and I'll have bread in my pockets. Be like, I don't think Conan is getting a neediness here. Oh, that was good. Yeah. Needy. Needy, yeah. That was very good. That was very good. Very good. Paul, thank you so much for making the time. Thank you for having me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Matt, everything you've contributed today sucks. You're throwing in, you're not helping. I'm understanding her and you keep throwing these giant steel anvils into the conversation and clanging away. And now you're giving me a rap like we got it. We're out of time. No, we're not out of time. We're going to get something good. So you saw two coyotes, did you? I did. Tell me about it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Every now and then we stumble upon a revelation that really rocks our world. And just the other day, we found out that Sona, you were a Girl Scout.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Do you? It's kind of shocking. Yeah, it is a little shocking. You're a rule breaker. Yeah. You're a rebel, you know? You're the pinky Tuscadero, you know?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Do you think that you upheld the Girl Scout code when you were my full-time assistant?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
You do very well in a Senate country. I know. It does sound like that. The Senate votes unanimously that you are the new Secretary of the Interior.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
How did you get into the Girl Scouts? Whose idea was it? Was this something that your parents came up with or is it something you wanted to do?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Yeah, that's when you get a long leather coat and a riding crop. It was fun, though.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
You get to drive around in a Mercedes. Okay. Well, we are joined by someone else on staff who we also... Can I share a photo? And then it'll... Oh!
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Eduardo has a... Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Look at that! Sona! So serious.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
But also look at what are those markings indicate? Are those different awards that you won?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Yeah. But what were the badges? Do you remember what your badges were for?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And you were just... And here's the thing. You were a little girl who scared away adults, and you were holding cookies. Wearing a brownie uniform. Look at that monster. Look at that monster. Yeah. Always be closing.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Yes, you were a David Mamet play. Desperate. I want the Glenn Gary leads.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I'm Conan O'Brien, joined here by the chuckling Matt Gourley, Sona Movsesian. How are you, Sona?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I don't know. How dare you? Oh, by the way, no one's bought more Girl Scout cookies than I have. Okay. Because we have some moms here that work here that have daughters, and all I do is buy Girl Scout cookies by the bucket load.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I'm taking away your speaking privileges for the next year. So, Sona. Yeah. Curious about these coyotes. A lot of people in this world haven't seen a coyote. It's like a dog only skinnier.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I mean, it sounds like, and what was your spiel when you were trying to sell?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I bet your spiel was more like, you're going to buy some fucking cookies. Or you're going to have a flat tire when you're done buying grapes. And you're going to have protection from here on out. You understand? I was smoking a cigarette outside the Albertsons. You just wore a tracksuit. Tracksuit with badges on it. Tracksuit, badges. You're smoking a bubblegum cigarette. Look here, see?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Why are you carrying a tire iron, Yellow Scout? You like having knees? Must be nice. Look, you buy some tagalongs and I won't be tagging along, if you know what I mean. Hey, I'm also going to sell you some Milanos. They're not street creds. These fell off a truck. Yeah, I don't think those are Girl Scout cookies.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Now, David, it is also revealed when you saw this picture of Sona, you said, wait a minute, I must add something to this. I was a scout.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Yeah, I know. So, wow, both my assistants have risen in the ranks of one of the most prestigious blah, blah, blahs.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
What does a participation trophy look like? I mean, it's just smaller than the other trophies. But is it a figure kind of shrugging? It's a car. It's a little car. Oh, it's a little car.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
David, you look no different today. Sona looks like Sona has grown into an adult person. You look like, look at David and look at this little boy. I need to get the round glasses again. Oh my God. That's a very cute photograph. Now you, what kind of badges did you get? I mean, if you went that high, I mean, it sounds like Sona just had a couple of bullshit badges. Oh,
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Wait, could you start a fire, do you think, using just two sticks?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
She's got a hot hand and you keep knocking her royal flush out of her hand. And you're playing hungry, hungry hippos in the corner like a drunk idiot. Go ahead, Sona.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Oh, wow, that's what they teach you in the Scouts now? You need to go into the woods and all you have is an acetylene torch and 17 pounds of beef.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Yeah. Did they come to a certain lot or did you have to haul a tree around?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And this is Carlinville, Illinois. Shout out to Carlinville. Yeah. And David has told me many stories about Carlinville.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
No, I know all about Carlinville. I have gone on the local websites. Yeah. You've shown me where you used to hang out, one of the two places where you could hang out in Carlinville. Hey, Carlinville, Conan O'Brien here. I would love to visit Carlinville someday. And I think I deserve a parade. There'll be a parade. There'll be a parade. No, David doesn't get a parade.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
David drives the float. I'll still wave. And our float will come in second.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And because you're driving, we get the participation. Sona wins somehow.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I will say this. I trust you both with my life. And that speaks well of the Boy and Girl Scouts. Because I think you're both exemplary people. I don't say that you have great skills. Oh, okay. And I wouldn't go turn to you if I was lost in the woods, but you're both very good people. They gave you a good moral code.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And hey, scouts, get a Milano. There's no reason why you just can't start putting Milanos in there. And no, it's not a trademark name. And no, I haven't looked into it. Just do it. But anyway, and Carlinville, we'll be seeing you soon. We're going to be in the paper. You just sexually harassed a city. These pictures can be viewed at Team Coco Podcast on Instagram.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
You were great today, Sona. That was terrific. We learned about wildlife and about your neighborhood.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I hate the opening and I apologize to everyone. Hey, man, let's just start talking. And whatever we say will be great. And play will be like, yeah, man, it was really great.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Hey, and welcome to Conan O'Brien. He's a friend. I'm Conan. You don't need to know the rest. You're going to love today's show. My guest today is co-creator, showrunner, and writer of an actually good show. The Emmy award-winning series that's thought about beforehand. They don't just throw it out there like a bucket of diarrhea. Hacked.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I'm thrilled he's here today because he actually makes something people enjoy that has thought, structure, content. Paul W. Downs, welcome. You didn't pause. Oh, my God. I'm thrilled he's here today. Paul W. Downs, welcome. I am an admirer of your work. Thank you. Likewise. And of course, I want to shout out your cohorts on Hacks at the very top. Your lovely wife. Yes. Lucia. Lucia.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I think you said, am I right? Am I right? Yeah, am I right?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I want to make sure you said it first because I was afraid that I would. Oh. I was looking at like Lucia, but I've also heard it pronounced Lucia. Lucia.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Because sometimes that is a question. I thought it might be a throuple.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I'm putting it out there that it's a throuple. Hey, from your mouth. Because you know what? That gets a lot of heat out there. You just want the clicks.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And I'm always suspicious when a show is going to, and I've run into a bunch of times and I remembered saying this to Jean Smart and Hannah. I remember telling them when I've bumped into them that I'm suspicious when a show is going to portray people that are trying to create comedy, think of comedy. I think usually it goes wrong because-
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And it's difficult, but if you're trying, if there's a movie that's portraying someone sculpting, a sculptor's gonna watch it and go, that's not how you do it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Everything you did just now was just wrong. Are you an AI? Yeah, I think you are AI.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Well, that's how sculptors talk. What happened to this sculptor? This sculptor, by the way, was injured. I got that far. A marble fell on him. A chisel fell from a high height and it hurt his brain.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
This is an injured guy, and he's, you know, this is not a foreign man.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
No, no, he was just injured by a high-flying chisel. He's from New Jersey. He's from New Jersey. And he has Springsteen. But a very terrible, terrible injury. So stupid. I apologize. And the point that I'm going to get back to, which began as a compliment and then turned into probably just a horrible sketch. It's almost impossible to do it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And then you guys come up with hacks and I see people struggling to create comedy and then perform comedy. And I think, oh, I think that's the closest I've seen to how it really is. Thank you. And of course, that comes from you guys being very talented, but also being still quite young and coming from this world. Yeah. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
You started out, I mean, as a kid, you were making content all the time, even if it was just for yourself, right?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Sometimes you play with the butter churn. Oh my gosh. But you were making content and this I can relate to because I don't think I needed an audience. If I was in my room, I was doing this shit and you seem like a similar fellow to me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
We've talked about it before. I hate it. People get very scared about AI. I have been working very hard to have AI replace you, Sona.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
In equal measure. Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk about your creation story. It was interesting to me because the minute I saw you and your work, I thought, well, they're all improvisers. And then I find out that you started doing standup initially or dabbled in standup a little bit. And it's interesting because I always knew, I mean, I did early, early on, I did some emceeing, but I knew I needed a gang.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I needed either my gang of writers or I needed my improv gang. I needed some kind of a squad that I understood early on. When did you figure out that that was kind of what you were looking for?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And I have thousands of servers trying to learn Sona's rhythms. It's impossible. They've all exploded. They've exploded and they're in these salt mines. They keep them in salt mines deep under the ground in Utah. And I've spent most of the money I've made in show business on all these servers.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I don't think you belong here. And it didn't really work. Seinfeld requested none of this. No.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
You get to UCB and there you meet, you start to meet your people. Yeah. Not just Lucia, Jen. Lucia. Lucia.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
Lucia. Okay. I'm Conando. Did you just get hit with a chisel? Conando. Conando, yes.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
I don't think they are. I think they show a great caring attitude. It's empathy. Thank you so much. And that's now recorded. I can use that at the trial. Abbie Jacobson. Yes. Leona Glazer. You start working with these hilarious people. This is where you start to find, oh, we're all like-minded. We're in a groove here. Yes. That's such a magical moment, isn't it?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
It is the same thing, not just in comedy, but I think for musicians, sculptors, It's across the board because I so remember kind of finding some of my group in college and then getting out to LA and doing improv at the Groundlings and starting to find my people. And you start to think, hey, I'm not crazy.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
That was the first feeling I had is there were all those years where I just thought, well, something's wrong with me. And yes, there probably is. But then you find other people with the same issues, whatever it is, issues, malady. Yeah. And you're all having fun and you're meeting at a diner afterwards to talk down the show. And it's few things will replace that joy.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
They overheat and explode because they cannot match the Movsesian rhythms. They don't make sense. AI can't figure it out.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
know i feel like anybody that you have us have a similar sense of humor with and who can make you laugh it's just such a such a unique and special thing now here's the interesting thing to me or an area that's interesting is that you have this world of making comedy jokes bits sketches inside references with your friends and you're making content at ucb you're putting stuff up you're having fun.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And then at some point, if you're very fortunate and also good at what you do, it turns into a business and pressure is applied and expectations are applied and there are budgets and there's a lot of people around looking at you and saying, hey, what's going on today? And I've always found it interesting that one of the challenges is to make sure you still keep the joy in it when that is applied.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Paul W. Downs
And when I think about hacks, this is a big show. I drive around L.A. and there are giant buildings that are just dedicated. They've been painted over the windows. People can't see out their windows anymore. Right. Because Gene Smart's face has been painted over them. It's blocking the view, yeah. It's a children's hospital. These poor sick kids. They need light surgery. I know.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
This is nice. You can use it for drunken frat parties when you don't want to leave, like, permanent Sharpie on somebody's face. You know, it's nice. It's considerate.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
Or it's like you're going to be shot with a dick sniper gun. You know what I mean?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
We can count on one hand. Jimmy Kimmel brought barbecue. Right. Randall Park brought like cheap liquor store whiskey. No.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
And he brought pirouette. Cool it. And he brought the chocolate. That was part of its charm. He went to the liquor store and got like snacks and cheap booze.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
A number of episodes ago, we talked about how you lost your beloved and I think long-term leather jacket.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
Weren't you in a long-term relationship with this leather jacket?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
Kaley Cuoco sent us little equestrian mugs with candies in them.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
You lost your house. You can't go back to your house. That's why I feel like I have guilt all around, survivor's guilt all around. I feel like I want to sleep in a tent in my front yard.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
toxic smoke well I'm glad I'm glad that you we got that back and we'll get other things back thank you peace out two bucks Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs Jeff Ross and Nick Liao theme song by the White Stripes incidental music by Jimmy Vivino take it away Jimmy
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
Call the Team Coco hotline at And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
We've stopped talking in hopes that you'll move it along. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
So you're paying for the right because you've now lost the right to make fun of her jacket.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
Well, my work here is done. Out the window. Matinee at the Bijou. I've got a catch.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
It's the Terminator jacket, basically. Is it? It's kind of.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
Okay. And now I'll represent you. He'll buy it, but you have to bring it in and we do a segment about it. I will.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
What? Yeah. She has my credit card. Why aren't we living high on the hog?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
2024 Memorable Moments: Conan, Sona, and Matt
No. Yes. Absolutely. Well, no.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Carol Leifer
I know which one because I get the email confirmation. You get the email confirmation. I do.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Carol Leifer
So I try not to check. I want to give you some privacy. But then I do anyway. What do you mean? That's so weird that you know what I'm eating. I know.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Carol Leifer
Hey. Huh, right? Yeah, yeah. That's called acting. You were being method all these years. Right? You were preparing for this role.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Carol Leifer
No, me neither. I don't remember that toy. Oh, my God. You grew up in the 1910s.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Carol Leifer
Yeah. Like once. This isn't a regular occurrence. Are you judging me? Excuse me. I'm keeping a cat alive. I understand.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Carol Leifer
You're making jokes. I'm trying to come up with a solution. I'm sorry. There's leakage.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Carol Leifer
Is this just part of your life now? This leakage is just what it is.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Lots of murder. And just, they should be, no. It'd be funny if that was my advice. Lots of screen time and high fructose corn syrup.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Oh, and guess what? Guess what? They're both alcoholics. And they dress like leprechauns, Cladwell. Wow. Guess what? You know what? A little bias there. Guess what? Can you resist now?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
You can't resist. Also, the Irish are the one people where you can say whatever you want and no one gets upset. Not even, particularly the Irish. Yeah, yeah. On that point, first of all, on Irish bias, which is always confirmed, I would have had more kids. And after our second child, my wife said, you're never to touch me again, which I've held onto that. And the second one, this is a true story.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
I did it at a benefit the other night. I performed at a benefit for a really good cause. And just before I went up, some guy who was at the benefit in the crowd came up to me. I want to say he was like late 30s, had a little bit of a fratty vibe to him, maybe 40. And he's like, hey man, so when you go up to perform, do you usually have a couple of...
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
He had a couple of hits because he was holding a drink. And I went, no, I don't do that. And he went, no, come on, but you probably have at least a drink. And I went, no. And he went, but you're Irish. And he looked really like, I don't understand, you know, how an Irish person cannot be drinking. It was just fascinating to me that in this age of sensitivity, everybody's like, nope.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Yes, you can. And go for it. No, no. I didn't mean to offend you. No, no. Again, you can't offend the Irish. Yes. Every thought I ever had as a parent has already been said probably by the ancient Greeks.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
My excitement came from their excitement of watching me do it. And, you know, they're not, they're in college now. And so we're not doing that to our house. And then I walked around and I had that pang of, it made me sad.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
That's disappointing. It is. I think there's nothing sadder than not being sued by Disney. I know.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Yeah, it's not the law of the few, it's the law of the very, very few. Very, very few. In analogous situation, you talk about how they did a COVID study involving hundreds of people and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of people got sick and it was from two people.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
In the study, it was two of them spread it. Yeah. And it's analogous. It's in the same way that with OxyContin, they had, you described, the tragedy of it is that the vast majority of doctors are responsible and there are laws and mechanisms in place to keep something like this happening. You describe how doctors...
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
There was a rule put in place that if you write someone a prescription for a drug this powerful, an opioid, it's on a triplicate form. So there's three copies. And because of that, it keeps everyone in line. There's three copies of it. there's a real record, a lot of dissemination of what I'm doing. Okay, so everyone is gonna be good.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
But then these drug companies found out there are some places where that law doesn't apply.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
And that's where they feasted. And then you talk about what's really disturbing is reading the testimony later on where people are being asked, members of the family. The Sackler family. The Sackler family. Yeah. They're being asked, do you feel any kind of responsibility? And it's all passive language. Well, the kind of famous Nixon quote is, mistakes were made about Watergate.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
I remember it being shocked. Very recently, one of my children came home from school. Someone came to their school and showed them how to use Narcan. That's how prevalent this is, that the way we were shown a fire exit Yeah. And had a fire alarm practice.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Now kids are being shown how to, you know, young adults are being shown how to use Narcan because, and thank God they are because that's saving a lot of lives. But that's where we are now. Yeah. It's just standard training for kids.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Well, it's, I mean, something I never thought about, obviously, when I was growing up and didn't have to worry about. And there's so many things that kids have to worry about today. It does make me profoundly sad that even fairly innocuous things that a kid may experiment with can have been tampered with and kill them. So, you know, that's the world we're in. And-
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Guess what happened? Guess what happened? You came in and you shit on my hair.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Yes! Yes! And now I'm spiraling. My hair is flat against my big Irish skull, which is loaded with alcohol.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Jameson's, and I'm primed for a fight. But you know what, there's so much, It's really funny, like there's, on an upbeat note, because there's so many fun puzzles in this book and intriguing things.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
There's one thing that you brought up in the book, and I'm jumping around here because I don't know a better way to discuss it, but you talk about how we all know World War II ends, 1945, there's the revelation, Nuremberg trials about concentration camps. Sorry, upbeat note?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
No, no, no, no. This was, not that it's upbeat, but it was fascinating to me that the Holocaust was very little discussed in the late 40s, the 1950s, the 60s. Through the end of the 70s. Through the end of the 70s. And then there's, was it a movie of, it's a television movie.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
That blew my mind that this was not discussed and that this one TV series that I frankly don't remember watching changed everything, completely changed the dialogue. I remember the same thing happening with, I mean, this is crazy, but there was a, in the 80s, there was a, The day after. Yes, yes, that's it. The day after about nuclear war.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
And there's footage of Ron and Nancy Reagan, President Reagan and Mrs. Reagan watching it and they're gobsmacked. This is the guy who has the nuclear football and saying, what? This would be bad. And so the neck cut to him meeting with Gorbachev, you know, at Reykjavik and saying,
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
well, we have to make sure this never, you know, and be based on a TV movie that got maybe, what if that hadn't been greenlit? I mean, it's, these things turn on these incredibly- Did Judgment of Nuremberg not land with people?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Also, Judgment Nuremberg does not focus on the Holocaust. Do you know what I mean? In a way that you would expect it today, it's very much about the prosecution of evil and these bad Nazis, but it's discussed and there's a famous scene, I think with Judy Garland, but it's- And they show footage. Remember, they show it in the courtroom. But it's not highlighted that way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Well, there are. I mean, this is something that blew my mind because I grew up in, you know, suburb of Boston and. I think a fairly normal street and people would put out Christmas decorations or Halloween decorations. And then much later in my life, but nothing that crazy, literally just a string of lights here and there. My brother, Neil, was the one that really went for it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
It's moving, and it's very impressive, too, that when you go to Berlin, there is... they've not only acknowledged it, but there's a sense that they're going to great lengths to make sure that everyone is aware. And I mean, all the plaques outside of homes that say these people were taken from this home and they were taken to this camp and they were murdered.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
And it's just, there are a lot of countries in the world, I don't know if there's any such thing as an innocent country, but many countries, have things to own up to and don't. And it's impressive how much Germany has.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Well, there is a lighter version of this, which has really got me thinking. You talk about will and grace.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
There were these very perceived rules about if you're going to talk about, let's say you're going to talk about homosexuality or gay couples on a television, here are the rules. there was this way in which that has to be done responsibly, and Will and Grace didn't follow any of those rules.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
He found in a junkyard, a giant light up Santa. And without my parents' permission, he lit it up and hung it on the front of our house. My parents were very like tasteful people and they were freaked out. And he was like, you know, and I think it also had ran on some, you know, now or even then outlawed gas. It was from like the 20s. I think real flames came out of the Santa.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
He's also, it's Will and Grace, so he's number one on the call sheet.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
It was just and it shot asbestos and viruses around. I think it polio. It had polio in it. It carried candy canes made of polio. Anyway, the point being that I then got out to L.A. after not seeing much. And there are these streets here in L.A. Set designers live there. Affluent people that make movie sets. And they'll spend months and they'll bring in union crews. And you'll see this insanity.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Late Night with Conan O'Brien is usually three. Are we in the real world or in my reality? Because I like my reality. And in my reality, I think Mermaid is perfect.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
I don't know what you find so funny. I'm always like three or four, but I know what you're saying.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
I'm interviewing you and you said no one knows how to interview anymore. And I would like you to have a big fuck yourself sandwich. Do we have a fuck yourself sandwich? That's not a good conversation. With a little pastrami on it?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Me make good talk. Me make good talk, not bad talk.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Well, there's a lot of things I could say about it, but I do think that the architecture of a late night show for a long time was kill time. Meaning when the form comes along, because in the late 40s, early fifties, someone at NBC realizes we just go off the air at 11 o'clock at night. Why do we do that? Yeah. It's like a family that discovers we've got an attic.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Why don't we go up there, finish the attic and suddenly we've got three more bedrooms. So the early late night shows, are people killing time. And that's what they are for a long time is killing time. And a lot of good conversation comes out of- Comes out of killing time. Comes out of killing time. What happens is there's a lot of money in it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Then there's more competition and television and media in general speeds up. and there's more and more pressure on them. And then suddenly it's, well, you can't sit and have a long conversation. There needs to be a lot of energy. There needs to be a lot of, it has to be frenetic, the pace of it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
And if you look, if someone ever does a study on late night television, go back and watch Carson and watch early Letterman, even the earlier versions of my show or early episodes in the early 90s, there is a slower pace.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
I'm all in favor of attacking Harvard University.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
You know that this is a... I was, you know, I wasn't hiding from that chapter. There's so much to talk about, but you talk about how it starts with Harvard has a... women's rugby team. Yeah. And you basically say, why?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
And you go ahead. You take it. And by the way, I was on the women's rugby team. I got a scholarship. That's how I got my scholarship.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Yeah. And you can't believe it. And I think, oh, we just plugged in some candles.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Well, maybe they're going to grow up to be fishermen, lobstermen. You know, I mean, they're going to probably go to sea and explore the oceans. I mean, I think most of those kids are going to end up, right, hauling crab.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Yeah, I think so. Well, there's another. OK, this this brings up another point, which is that because when I read that, I thought, shit, I should have I should have done some fencing. I worked way too hard in high school. That would have been much easier. Yeah, I should have been a champion beekeeper. But the bigger point is that people can eventually game anything.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
That's the way I feel about it is that, because the other point is, okay, let's set all the rich kids who are playing those sports aside and say, okay, we really want it to be a meritocracy, so we're gonna have it be about the SAT.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
People can game that because parents hire SAT tutors. There's billions of dollars spent a year making sure that kids are very familiar with that test. I think it still does test people who are off the charts in certain... But what I'm saying is that no matter what you do, I mean, we've seen this on Wall Street a million times, you set up these rules, someone will find... Yeah. A small crack.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Well, some people go, I don't know. Some people go big on St. Patrick's Day. As an Irish person, I don't like St. Patrick's Day. I think it's, I'm just, you know. i'm self-loathing irish so when a bunch of irish people run around hitting each other the head with green beer and saying, Saints begoras, I'm not having it. And they're always like one 15th Irish.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Someone will say, hey, wait a minute. No one ever said anything about mortgage-backed securities. Bang. Yeah. Everybody's doing it. And then the whole system collapses. And we wonder, wait a minute. Why did that guy who works on a garbage truck own nine properties?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Yeah. And I have a lot to say about The Little Mermaid. That's right. That's not contract law.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Well, here's the other thing, too. I mean, I've said this to everybody I've ever encountered in this business is that I have had the privilege of working with so many talented, amazing, funny people who are great at what they do. And often I don't know where they went to college. because the amount of pressure we put on that is insane.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
And you talk a lot about resilience and people who are not from a monoculture, but people who are forced to be resilient and the great benefits that that has. And I don't know, I just, I'm always- I thought you were gonna tell us your SAT score.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
I intentionally forgot my SAT score. I intentionally, if you could, I selected which brain cells I could forget. And I forgot those.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
So, you know, when someone from the Czech Republic is saying, you know, I'm not having it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
It's like Gilmore Girls or something. Well, I'm sorry. Lights in the trees at night.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
My neuron misfired and you laughed. Those are some rich literary illusions that you're working with Conan. Favorite Bronte novel is Gilmore Girls.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
In the same way, I went to a very large public high school. There were kids who... weren't going to go to college. Do you know what I mean? Their dads worked for the town. There were kids whose parents were professionals who wanted to go to an Ivy League school. There were, I mean, there was just this large swath of almost every kind of kid you could imagine.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Did you ever wear a shirt that just said, please kiss me? Yeah. Well into my late 30s. Okay. Please hold me, I think it said.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
There was something called school within a school where they were very artistic and kids that could have set their own schedule. But there was just, and then there was a large immigrant And this is the late 70s. We had some students whose parents had fled Iran. We had students who were from China. And so it was great in that it sounds like the exact opposite of this Poplar Grove.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Please affirm my masculinity. I had a shirt that I wore for 35 years that was, oh, to feel a woman's touch. But O apostrophe. Oh, yeah. O apostrophe. O, to feel a woman's touch. By the way, that's going to be a new seller for our merch. O, to feel a woman's touch. Conan O, to feel a woman's touch. No, I think a lot of young people wear that shirt.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Look, we talked about this. I think we had a guest here the other day. I think it was Josh Brolin. And we were talking about his upbringing. And I was saying, what I would always say to my wife when the kids were little was, remember, it's important that they're bored.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Because I think one of the things that's come along with super parenting in this age is that a child needs to be activated and engaged and entertained at all times. And I swear to God, I'm one of six and there was a lot of, I say this, a lot of benign neglect, meaning no one on my ass not being helicopter just because my parents worked, there was a lot going on. What number were you? Third.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Oh, you were right smack in the back. And so I just remembered having a lot of time with my brain and it was nightmarish.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
And look at us here. Yeah, here we are. Here we are having the greatest conversation. Well, I have to wrap this up because we've gone- You've solved it. Well, first of all, I think we've solved the engineering of humanity. And you and I, if we're just put in charge, can fix everything.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
It's a testament to your book that I read it and it's got me thinking about 700 different things in different ways. Thank you. And that is the power that you seem to have is just raising these issues. And also it goes back to that concept that I was talking about earlier, which is we can all be tricked. We can all be conned. We can all be manipulated. It's really fascinating.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
The more you think about it, I think the more you build up some sort of resilience towards it and a little bit of immunity where you can think, wait a minute, is this what I want? Or do I want this because this is the way everything has been engineered by somebody? And it probably has. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Oh, fuck. Gladwell's coming. This is going to be another shit show. Hair not up to Gladwell standards. He's probably going to go after the Irish parentheses did last time.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
I can't get enough. Well, first of all, you and your wife both worked at Disney back in the day. What's that got to do with it? What I'm saying is- Storks. No, no, no. Not at all. That's a big corporation, which I'm sure advertises with us in some way. My point is this.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Let's hope he doesn't bring up Harvard. I love my time on women's rugby. It was my only way in. Why the fuck has he got... Such a bone to pick with my favorite sport. That's where I met Tracy. I mean, I don't know. Hey, Tracy. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Oh, I'm sorry. Look, I've got drawings. Oh, I see.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
He was the one in the 1968 convention. Why did I draw Senator Abe Rybakov?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
We were born in the same hospital and switched at birth. That's why we both have crazy hair.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Oh, Gladwell. I love talking to you. And clearly, I mean, this could go on for seven hours, but even podcasts have sped up. but I do hope you'll come back, and I hope you'll come back, even if there isn't a book, if we can just chat. I love, I really enjoy it. I really enjoy it, and if the art of conversation is dead, I don't know what this was, because I really thoroughly had a great time.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
You know what? I think you nailed it the first time. Yeah. Hey, thank you so much, sir.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Yeah. No, my thing is that you guys come from the world of, yay, let's, you know, let's put on some costumes. No, no, hold on. Time out.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
I did not like working- Oh, you worked at Disney, but you were in the resistance. I was the cool guy. You're like the French waiter when the Nazis occupied, who brought the soup out a little slowly. Here you go, you German generals. Here's your soup. It's Vichyssoise, but I warmed it a little bit. Take that. You Nazis. Wow. You showed them. I worked for Disney, but I was in the resistance.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Hi, and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I've got Matt Gourley with me right here. Hi. Scribbling away something. I don't know what he's doing. What are you writing? Last Will and Testament. And I've got Sona Movsesian here. Yes. You know, we're getting into the holiday seasons.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
He does look like a guy who has a bunch of wigs. I know. You're the person with all the wigs. Hey, when I wear a wig, it's to pass a bad check. Okay. When I wear a wig, it's not to have fun. It's to pass the check that doesn't have my name on it. That's right. I'm Mrs. O'Hurley. Now give me the feckin' money. I'm a Croatian man. Anyway. I feel like you have a wig bin. I don't.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
That's right. Sona, in fairness to him, one week ago, they threw out the wig bin. So you had no right accusing him. Anyway, I miss it. I miss it. I miss my kids. I miss, I don't know. I miss that part of life. So you should enjoy it now. I guess. It's fun to go out and buy the spiderwebs. Or the other way to do it is just don't clean during the year. Get the real spiderwebs.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
I really thought we had something there. I think we got a segment. Except it's an intro. Oh, fuck, that's right. Yeah, so what were we saying? We had something really funny.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Anywhoos, I love the holidays, and I say that D-A-Z-E. There's a funny little something for you. Um... Welcome to The Tipping Point.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
And I have a question for you because this is something that hit me recently. I don't often reveal my interior life, my emotions, but I'm going to get vulnerable here for a moment, which is, as you guys know, I'm an empty nester now. Both my kids are in school.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
That's what it's called. But those famous, it's just kind of. I'll tell you exactly what's going on. What's going on? And again, this could be a book for you, Malcolm Gladwell, this could be a book, but unintended consequences, you write about all these kinds of things, what's really happening behind a phenomenon that we all take for granted, what's really happening.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
My hair is very susceptible to the weather. And there needs to be some moisture in the air. And I'm really not kidding. My hair is a barometer. So when I'm in places like Seattle, Boston, where I'm from, when there's some humidity in the air, my hair is absolutely fantastic.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
And it's big and springy and it shoots out. So moisture in the air is the Viagra for my pompadour.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
I'm sorry. But I'm trying to use a medical terminology.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
You have to say little, but sure. But what I'm saying is today, it's been very dry and I'm noticing lately, I get up in the morning and my hands are like scales and my hair is just collapsed onto my head. And I could have done artificial things to pump up my hair this morning, but I didn't want to do that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Curious chemicals and bombs. But I didn't want to do that, Malcolm. I didn't want to be fake with you. So I come in and I could see your face.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Empty soul. Yeah, yeah. But that's been, you know, whole life. But I didn't expect to feel this way. But I remember feeling this way at Halloween. I walked by some houses and they were all decked out with, you know, skeletons and witches and things like that. And one of them had, there's this spider that plops down if it senses a presence. Have you seen that? Yeah. It just goes...
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
I took a stand. My hair has never been the popular hairstyle. It basically is the Bob's big boy. It is, you know, it's a combination of Elvis. It's the, you know, star of Hawaii Five-O, Steve McGarrett.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
There was a lot of influences to my hair. It's got some rockabilly to it. And I let you down and I apologize. And you're gonna really admire, this is a professional level segue. You did not let me down because you've written another fantastic book, Revenge of the Tipping Point, where you revisit
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Well, because it's coming from a place of disappointment. And we're going to talk about The Revenge of the Timmy Point in just a second. But I wanted to start with something else that I just happen to know about your own life, which is that you're now in the world of being a parent. I am. And what fascinates me is that I'm obviously very impressed and intrigued by the way your brain works.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
And to be honest, somewhat intimidated. And then I come in today thinking, that's one area where I've got 21 year headstart on Malcolm Gladwell. I do, I do. What was that? You do.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
And I feel like, yes. And not only you guys as well, we can kick this guy around with our knowledge of parenthood.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Sona, you took it too far. Oh, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. But no, no, you're such an original thinker. But before we even get into the book, part of me wanted to say, hey, what's your take on parenthood? Because I bet it's fairly original and unique.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
This from Malcolm Gladwell? It can be challenging at times. It's rewarding, but also... None of those things.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
I had one thing that I'm... Maybe I've said it to you guys, to Matt and Sona, but... I try very hard not to tell first time expecting parents any kind of, all right, let me tell you, sit, have a seat and let me spin some wisdom for you. I always try and tell them, it's like trying to explain to someone who's never been immersed in water what that feels like.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
It is such a profound change in your life that you just need to go through it and then you're gonna look at me and nod. But to try and sit and explain, the only way for someone to understand what it's like to be in a body of water is to jump in a body of water. And until you've done that, the greatest writers in the world cannot explain to you what that feels like.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
and it makes a little noise and its eyes light up a little bit. And I just had this really strong memory of... My kids watching me put all that stuff out and being really excited and saying, where's the spider? And me going and getting, you know, there's the, you can get the fake graves and you can get the skeleton hand that comes out of the ground.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
And so you just have to go through it. The only advice I ever give is lots of video because you're, when they're 10, 15, 20 years from now, you are going to look at all of it over and over and over again.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Malcolm Gladwell Returns
Oh no, you got it exactly. Specifically VHS. I think it should be all movies from the 80s and late 70s.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Sarah Silverman Returns Again
Am I funny? How was that last one? Liza, it's funny, right?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Burr Returns Again
Who doesn't like a fucking turkey? I don't know why.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Burr Returns Again
Fuck you, you fucking redheaded cunt. Hey, that's the title of my autobiography.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Burr Returns Again
I can't believe you're the guy who built that shit. And you're like, what happened? He probably heard it. He probably heard it go through the sound of it. What is that? What is that?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Burr Returns Again
I know. Two Irish guys can't look at each other. We can't look at each other. That's another. All right, let me tell you something, you fucking cunt. I love you to death. I wouldn't throw you in shite. For all the fucking shillelaghs in fucking O'Toole town.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Burr Returns Again
That's it, everybody. We'll be back after the break. We'll be right back. You got to go buy a mattress. We'll tell you which one to get. Sarah Michelle Gellar when we return. Courtney Thorne Smith, when we come back.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Burr Returns Again
Oh, yeah. But it's there. Don't I hide it when I'm smacking you in the station wagon? Agree with all my points, or there will be a discussion afterwards.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nathan Lane
Well, I still said it, didn't I? Yeah. Oh, thanks. That's a real vote of confidence.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nathan Lane
But this is what makes Blay magical is you are able to do this open hearted. I had to come at it as like, I know I'm going to get hit for this. That's what I meant. Like, I'm going to, I think I'm going to get hit.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nathan Lane
And I have to say, I think Blay, you're the MVP of this entire place. And you make this place go around. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nathan Lane
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nathan Lane
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 616-625-6000.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nathan Lane
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nathan Lane
You are? You're going to take it out. Don't worry, boss. I'll definitely take it out. Just drive and drop it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nathan Lane
Yes. Let's try it. Can I just say it? Pitch windy the way you think we would. Well, now I'm self-conscious about it. It's okay. You got it. You got this.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nathan Lane
I think we should make you two medals of valor for those that you get to wear.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nathan Lane
Well, let's go back a little further and preface it with that. You always want to have something nailed down that we're going to talk about. And Sona and I are a little bit more, you know, frankly chill. Yeah, exactly.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Must be me. I mean, I trim them, but they could comb into my hairline if I needed them.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
It's like the John Wick Hotel, but for clothes?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Just another nocturnal emission happening.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He unmans me. Yeah. You're just bewitching and this is joyous.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I'd like to offer myself as a sacrifice in some way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And also, how do you feel about being Conan O'Brien's friend?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And it's going to be Diane Keaton, Ron Howard, and Robert Altman.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Bob's going to know you in a whole different way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He's the antidote because he could be a sex bomb to your sex panic.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Is it 1-800-CARS-FOR-KIDS? Something like that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And it sounds like a typical Johnny Cash song, except it has kind of like John Barry horns in it. It's really something.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
A diurnal emission all day long here. This is... It what? Yeah. The what? The what? Diurnal?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
How about the Jason Isbell song you sang to us that time?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I can't do it. You two are just locked in icons.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I'm a Leonardo guy. Are you? And action.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Well, I can't relate. I don't mean to interrupt, but I just realized something that's Speaking of when you knew you wanted to do something, when I was a very young boy, my dad took me to downtown LA because that's where he used to work. First celebrity sighting was something being shot. A warehouse door opens up, outruns Ben Vereen, and then outruns Jeff Goldblum shooting 10-speed and branching.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
So I was seven when I saw you guys shooting that. And I just was baffled by the cameras and that you did it multiple times and going, why are they doing it again and again?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
My dad worked downtown and he would take me to downtown quite a bit. Downtown LA. What did he do, your dad? He was a division manager for the gas company. Oh, I see.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Occasionally there's, you know, repeated stories or something through just natural conversation that I'll pull out. You're not missing anything as a listener from the things I'm pulling out. Right. But this one, it couldn't have any editing because it's music. It's a symphony. And I also always take out little mouth noises and clicks. But Jeff Goldblum has this repeating feline slurp.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
So Jeff Goldblum is about to read a list of his favorite movies. This is heaven for him. The ones that made a big difference that I can remember to this day.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And it's just, I couldn't touch it. It would be like going, like you said, going to Michelangelo and editing his Sistine Chapel.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
There was like a do not be late for this one, remember?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Well, you can do a crossfade and you can blend one sexual grumble into the next, but I would never do that. Like, who am I to censor his sexual rumblings, his subsonic sexual rumblings?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And to that point, this introduction is about the interview. The interview itself is something like, I think, 70 minutes long. And we do a segment at the end of this episode where we just talk about how wonderful that interview was. So this is an all Goldblum episode.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He had a dream he expects a five-hour podcast. We can do this, it's okay.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
But let's be honest, you are the butts in seats of this movie.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Can I just take a second to share my notes for this episode of the podcast?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
So the listeners will have already heard that moment.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And that was, I think, three minutes and 46 seconds for him to say, hi, my name is Jeff Goldblum. And ultimately, I feel, I think he said drenched, something like- Who knows? Drained and drenched.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Yeah, although when I went to Ireland, they said it's girly. Ah, girly. Is it really?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I said it's girly because, no, it's girly.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He's a human electrolyte. He just gives you energy, like you were saying. And we know that he listens to all these segments and stuff. So this is as much for him, how much we loved him.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
We can put a test in there. Jeff, if you're listening to this, to prove it, come over to my house and watch some James Bond movies with me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Do you have friends? Oh, God, no. You don't? No, not a one.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Well, now Jeff Goldblum's my friend, so I do have a friend.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
This is supposed to be a Jeff Goldblum praise session.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
You know how, like, at a time, Porsche and Volkswagen had the same engine? Mm-hmm. That's the difference.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
It's kind of worse because it's like you're paying her to be belligerent.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Jeff Goldblum asks nothing and gives everything. You are transactional.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
You profit from me as well. In a roundabout way, I do, yes. In a roundabout way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He leads with love, you lead with fear. Yes. No, that's not good. Stalin did that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I mean, she's just saying the facts.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Metaphorically, that's what's going on here.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
See you next week at my house for James Bond. Okay, let's cut it there. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Joanna Solitaroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Will Becton. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts. and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Call the Team Coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Some people have narcolepsy. I got splooge-alypsy. Oh, my, I got splooge-alypsy.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
This guy, Bruno the Splooge. You're listening to Bruno the Splooge on KXW9. Oh. Oh.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
We have to wrap up what this movie is and then do the name thing. All is one giant piece. We're still rolling.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
Oh, that's what you meant. Eddie Redmayne is the young version of you. Yeah, that's what the substance is.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
We're doing a series of ongoing staff reviews around the Team Coco facility here.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
Exactly. This is a glowing staff review. Oh, sorry. You go ahead. Well, I, I don't know you that well, Paula, but you're someone I greatly admire. I always feel like you have an energy that just helps and brings people up. You're wonderful. Thank you. We've got to get this to be negative.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
Can you do the difference? What's the difference between those two?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
So you're acting, you're not doing a cameo as Conan O'Brien.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I have two questions that are the same question. Okay. Were you nervous to do serious acting and then were you nervous to watch yourself do serious acting?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Well, when can we, the general public, see this movie?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
That can't be proven until he talks to a bunch of other people. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
The bigger concern here is that you were able to finally end that podcast and now you started it up again.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Well, I like that this intro was kind of like measured and straightforward because what you're about to hear doesn't just go off the deep end. It presumes there's even a bottom.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
What have you been up to lately? Where have you been? You just came back and you look snow kissed.