Matt Gourley
Appearances
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
This Is My Deal Here, Wade
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
This Is My Deal Here, Wade
Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan Recaps The Mark Twain Prize Ceremony With Mike Sweeney
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan Recaps The Mark Twain Prize Ceremony With Mike Sweeney
Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan Recaps The Mark Twain Prize Ceremony With Mike Sweeney
Oh, my God. Sarah Silverman.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Long In The Leg
I'm too happy. You're making fun of your one Dutch fan.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Long In The Leg
It's goofy. Can you let her answer the question, please?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Get Over Myself!
Yeah. Blown away. So I know I'm basically a glassblower.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Get Over Myself!
I don't know the official... I don't know what the name is.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Get Over Myself!
Oh, my God. What's this? It's like a Sherlock Holmes pipe. That is really sweet, Dan. Thank you so much.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Get Over Myself!
That is so, that really means a lot. Thank you very much.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
Yeah, because also if you get them on the way out, maybe they didn't wash their hands and touch them.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
Is that not his name? I thought when he first said it, I thought that was his actual name.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
I thought it was his name and I was like, don't laugh, Sona. Everybody thought it. When we first heard Anus, we all stopped ourselves from laughing.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
Oh, that kind of balloonist. I thought making animals.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
I thought we were all doing the toit. No, Tony, you didn't do it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
You are flattered by this. Don't you want the picture to be more sort of out in the open?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
It's one thing when they come take your Maserati, but when they take your skeleton... If I had a dime.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Yeah, because what if you meet someone that's just as into it as you are?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Would you either want that or do you kind of like to keep it for yourself?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Just like Booth, you're in your little hole. In my little hole.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
Did you know that pirates have an eye patch? Not because they're missing an eye. Mine was relevant.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
Yeah, it's all upper body red with a huge red pompadour. Yes. I mean, you can't even tell what's head and what's like mating plumage or whatever that is.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
I was going to say, you're telling him all this stuff.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
Is it true they take place over more than a day, right?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
And best picture goes to Goldfinger. How is that possible?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
During the ceremony, will your eyes be kind of wandering up into the sky?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Cock of the Rock
Oh, okay. What kind of car? What car? 1987 Buick LeSabre.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Club Grub Hub
Is that because she was tired or she didn't want to, like, was afraid of what your kids would do in the restaurant?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan Recaps the Oscars with Mike Sweeney
those are my muses but also Sweeney weren't you we were in we were in Austria and weren't you trying to then pull together this writer's room yes from across the world as well in Austria during the day you would be directing the Austria show and then at night you would come back to the hotel and then we would all chill and you would be going and trying to pull together I was on the phone with
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan Recaps the Oscars with Mike Sweeney
Can I also ask, you went on Kimmel, which is really funny, and he gave you advice to sit down. Did you sit down?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan Recaps the Oscars with Mike Sweeney
What do you think? I think you're a perfect fit. I think you'd be great.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Mothman Cometh
I'm just picturing a really nerdy guy. And tell me what you have. I have these. Me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Mothman Cometh
My wife, why are all these towels just all over the place? Oh, God. Sorry, dear. I was fashioning a fleshlight.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
I have not seen that movie.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Okay. It's going to be moon pies and stuff.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Not a lot of celebrities, though.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Yeah, that's true. We could do a study on this and just kind of see what the celebrity's like.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Cher was booked. Cher was.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
I know, and now you guys keep bringing her up as if we had her on the show.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Hush, you said it right.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Sorry, it's kind of expensive. If they don't take the swag, that's just kind of sad.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
I can't believe you cut off his Beyonce wearing a hot coated shirt.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
I would like another one of these.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
These gluten-free brother bites.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
And I love the snacks. I'm sorry.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
That's the worst thing you could do to chips.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Do you think this is how Santa treats his elves?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
I think he's a jolly man. He seems nice to the elves.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Oh, my God. They loved it. Oh, Jesus.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
I don't know. I mean, I think people are health conscious. No. And they want healthy snacks.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
That's true. Do you think that you have the taste buds of, like, a young teenage boy, though, Conan?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
They're good snacks. That's why people want them.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Food that's good for you. Doritos and Oreos. These are people who care about their bodies. She's getting them snacks they probably already eat anyway, right?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
This is the furthest thing from a tight ship I think I can think of.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
Yes, yeah. I thought you said an octopi.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
What's wrong with any of that stuff, though?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Snack Attack with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden
If this was the North Pole and you were Santa, there would be no Christmas.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Ricci
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Ricci
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Christina Ricci
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
But I'm wearing it for- The red onesie's his new nickname.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Can I offer a suggestion? Especially if it's coming from Sona, that she should be paid more because the product is being monetized is primarily hers.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
What do you mean? This is definitely wood. This is definitely wood.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Well, now I hate to do this, but can I add, most of the time when you do that, it is unmonetizable. Yeah. Because it cannot go public.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Okay, so today we have Eduardo, who is currently hiding behind his monitor.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
This guy's never had a single hiccup for how long has he been working here? I know, but can I say something?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
What was even the conversation that you were supposed to save for the mic? We don't even know it. We don't even know anymore. I don't remember.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
You're going to monetize our little anecdotes about how we've been and what we've been doing over the past. That's exactly what I would do.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Oh, my God. You know what you've done to our friendship? You've fractured it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Whichever one it is for 20 years. Oh, whereabouts? Belmont Shore. You live so close to me. I'm on Naples. Oh, my God. I lived in Naples for a little bit, too. Oh, my gosh. Do you want to be friends?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
You still live in Belmont? No, I live in Pasadena now. Oh, you went the wrong way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
You should have your headstone laser-etched with that, but there's a little opening that just shoots milk out of your mouth.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
I both want credit for it and I feel sexually harassed. So I'll sue you from both sides.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
All right, we have a mystery to solve that maybe only you can solve. Okay, let's hear it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
This is an article on Cracked. Colorado park rangers are desperate to know why they have a photo of Conan O'Brien in their office. So it's a signed photo that's hanging in these rangers' office. And I guess they've changed personnel and there's enough turnover that nobody knows what the story of it is. And in the article, they're basically asking, can you shed some light on this?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
I'll show, okay, here's the actual tweet.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
From the Colorado Park Rangers Northeast region. Hey, at Conan O'Brien, we realize you're a bit busy today. This was during your Oscars. But at some point, can you explain the sign pic at Roxborough State Park in Littleton, Colorado? No one knows the story, and we would really love to.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
You clearly left your mark on the park, though, and it says, your autographed photo says, to the Park Rangers, best, Conan O'Brien. And then they tweeted a picture of all the mountains with little orange pompadours on them.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
It's on the TV if you want to look up Conan.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
I don't know if this will help or hurt, but the first ad on this page, too, is a big picture of an enlarged prostate. It has nothing to do with age. Just stop doing this one common thing. Can we play the local news segment that's on that page? There's a video there.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
Let us know. This must be the most amazing place to live that they have literally no news.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
What did Conan O'Brien mean when he said, we're coming for you?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
That's good. Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
John Mulaney Returns Once More
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Lizzy Caplan Returns
I have a lot of land in Montana. In vast holdings, but I can't access them. Can I have some soup? All my money's tied up in holdings. It takes 24 hours to get the bank in Sweden to open up.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Lizzy Caplan Returns
That's a good one. Mickey. Yeah. Mickey the orphan. Mickey the 61-year-old orphan. It counts. Who's done quite well. It counts.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Lizzy Caplan Returns
Yeah, that's how I got the part. I'm an orphan. Yeah, I'm an orphan. Can I have the part?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Lizzy Caplan Returns
Yay! Eastbound and down, rolling out the road. Oh, I'm sorry, Matt.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
This is nice. You can use it for drunken frat parties when you don't want to leave, like, permanent Sharpie on somebody's face. You know, it's nice. It's considerate.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
Or it's like you're going to be shot with a dick sniper gun. You know what I mean?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
We can count on one hand. Jimmy Kimmel brought barbecue. Right. Randall Park brought like cheap liquor store whiskey. No.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
And he brought pirouette. Cool it. And he brought the chocolate. That was part of its charm. He went to the liquor store and got like snacks and cheap booze.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
A number of episodes ago, we talked about how you lost your beloved and I think long-term leather jacket.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
Weren't you in a long-term relationship with this leather jacket?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
Kaley Cuoco sent us little equestrian mugs with candies in them.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
You lost your house. You can't go back to your house. That's why I feel like I have guilt all around, survivor's guilt all around. I feel like I want to sleep in a tent in my front yard.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
toxic smoke well I'm glad I'm glad that you we got that back and we'll get other things back thank you peace out two bucks Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs Jeff Ross and Nick Liao theme song by the White Stripes incidental music by Jimmy Vivino take it away Jimmy
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
Call the Team Coco hotline at And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Danny McBride
We've stopped talking in hopes that you'll move it along. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
So you're paying for the right because you've now lost the right to make fun of her jacket.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
Well, my work here is done. Out the window. Matinee at the Bijou. I've got a catch.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
It's the Terminator jacket, basically. Is it? It's kind of.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
Okay. And now I'll represent you. He'll buy it, but you have to bring it in and we do a segment about it. I will.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jason Bateman
What? Yeah. She has my credit card. Why aren't we living high on the hog?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Burr Returns Again
Who doesn't like a fucking turkey? I don't know why.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Burr Returns Again
Fuck you, you fucking redheaded cunt. Hey, that's the title of my autobiography.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Burr Returns Again
I can't believe you're the guy who built that shit. And you're like, what happened? He probably heard it. He probably heard it go through the sound of it. What is that? What is that?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Burr Returns Again
I know. Two Irish guys can't look at each other. We can't look at each other. That's another. All right, let me tell you something, you fucking cunt. I love you to death. I wouldn't throw you in shite. For all the fucking shillelaghs in fucking O'Toole town.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Burr Returns Again
That's it, everybody. We'll be back after the break. We'll be right back. You got to go buy a mattress. We'll tell you which one to get. Sarah Michelle Gellar when we return. Courtney Thorne Smith, when we come back.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Bill Burr Returns Again
Oh, yeah. But it's there. Don't I hide it when I'm smacking you in the station wagon? Agree with all my points, or there will be a discussion afterwards.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Must be me. I mean, I trim them, but they could comb into my hairline if I needed them.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
It's like the John Wick Hotel, but for clothes?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Just another nocturnal emission happening.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He unmans me. Yeah. You're just bewitching and this is joyous.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I'd like to offer myself as a sacrifice in some way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And also, how do you feel about being Conan O'Brien's friend?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And it's going to be Diane Keaton, Ron Howard, and Robert Altman.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Bob's going to know you in a whole different way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He's the antidote because he could be a sex bomb to your sex panic.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Is it 1-800-CARS-FOR-KIDS? Something like that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And it sounds like a typical Johnny Cash song, except it has kind of like John Barry horns in it. It's really something.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
A diurnal emission all day long here. This is... It what? Yeah. The what? The what? Diurnal?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
How about the Jason Isbell song you sang to us that time?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I can't do it. You two are just locked in icons.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I'm a Leonardo guy. Are you? And action.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Well, I can't relate. I don't mean to interrupt, but I just realized something that's Speaking of when you knew you wanted to do something, when I was a very young boy, my dad took me to downtown LA because that's where he used to work. First celebrity sighting was something being shot. A warehouse door opens up, outruns Ben Vereen, and then outruns Jeff Goldblum shooting 10-speed and branching.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
So I was seven when I saw you guys shooting that. And I just was baffled by the cameras and that you did it multiple times and going, why are they doing it again and again?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
My dad worked downtown and he would take me to downtown quite a bit. Downtown LA. What did he do, your dad? He was a division manager for the gas company. Oh, I see.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Occasionally there's, you know, repeated stories or something through just natural conversation that I'll pull out. You're not missing anything as a listener from the things I'm pulling out. Right. But this one, it couldn't have any editing because it's music. It's a symphony. And I also always take out little mouth noises and clicks. But Jeff Goldblum has this repeating feline slurp.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
So Jeff Goldblum is about to read a list of his favorite movies. This is heaven for him. The ones that made a big difference that I can remember to this day.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And it's just, I couldn't touch it. It would be like going, like you said, going to Michelangelo and editing his Sistine Chapel.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
There was like a do not be late for this one, remember?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Well, you can do a crossfade and you can blend one sexual grumble into the next, but I would never do that. Like, who am I to censor his sexual rumblings, his subsonic sexual rumblings?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And to that point, this introduction is about the interview. The interview itself is something like, I think, 70 minutes long. And we do a segment at the end of this episode where we just talk about how wonderful that interview was. So this is an all Goldblum episode.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He had a dream he expects a five-hour podcast. We can do this, it's okay.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
But let's be honest, you are the butts in seats of this movie.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Can I just take a second to share my notes for this episode of the podcast?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
So the listeners will have already heard that moment.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And that was, I think, three minutes and 46 seconds for him to say, hi, my name is Jeff Goldblum. And ultimately, I feel, I think he said drenched, something like- Who knows? Drained and drenched.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Yeah, although when I went to Ireland, they said it's girly. Ah, girly. Is it really?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I said it's girly because, no, it's girly.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He's a human electrolyte. He just gives you energy, like you were saying. And we know that he listens to all these segments and stuff. So this is as much for him, how much we loved him.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
We can put a test in there. Jeff, if you're listening to this, to prove it, come over to my house and watch some James Bond movies with me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Do you have friends? Oh, God, no. You don't? No, not a one.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Well, now Jeff Goldblum's my friend, so I do have a friend.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
This is supposed to be a Jeff Goldblum praise session.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
You know how, like, at a time, Porsche and Volkswagen had the same engine? Mm-hmm. That's the difference.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
It's kind of worse because it's like you're paying her to be belligerent.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Jeff Goldblum asks nothing and gives everything. You are transactional.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
You profit from me as well. In a roundabout way, I do, yes. In a roundabout way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He leads with love, you lead with fear. Yes. No, that's not good. Stalin did that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I mean, she's just saying the facts.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Metaphorically, that's what's going on here.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
See you next week at my house for James Bond. Okay, let's cut it there. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Joanna Solitaroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Will Becton. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts. and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Call the Team Coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Some people have narcolepsy. I got splooge-alypsy. Oh, my, I got splooge-alypsy.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
This guy, Bruno the Splooge. You're listening to Bruno the Splooge on KXW9. Oh. Oh.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
We have to wrap up what this movie is and then do the name thing. All is one giant piece. We're still rolling.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
Oh, that's what you meant. Eddie Redmayne is the young version of you. Yeah, that's what the substance is.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
We're doing a series of ongoing staff reviews around the Team Coco facility here.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
Exactly. This is a glowing staff review. Oh, sorry. You go ahead. Well, I, I don't know you that well, Paula, but you're someone I greatly admire. I always feel like you have an energy that just helps and brings people up. You're wonderful. Thank you. We've got to get this to be negative.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Amy Poehler
Can you do the difference? What's the difference between those two?