Matt Gourley
Appearances
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
Yeah, because also if you get them on the way out, maybe they didn't wash their hands and touch them.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
Is that not his name? I thought when he first said it, I thought that was his actual name.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
I thought it was his name and I was like, don't laugh, Sona. Everybody thought it. When we first heard Anus, we all stopped ourselves from laughing.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
Oh, that kind of balloonist. I thought making animals.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
I thought we were all doing the toit. No, Tony, you didn't do it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
You are flattered by this. Don't you want the picture to be more sort of out in the open?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
It's one thing when they come take your Maserati, but when they take your skeleton... If I had a dime.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Yeah, because what if you meet someone that's just as into it as you are?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Would you either want that or do you kind of like to keep it for yourself?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
Just like Booth, you're in your little hole. In my little hole.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Club Grub Hub
Is that because she was tired or she didn't want to, like, was afraid of what your kids would do in the restaurant?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
But I'm wearing it for- The red onesie's his new nickname.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Can I offer a suggestion? Especially if it's coming from Sona, that she should be paid more because the product is being monetized is primarily hers.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
What do you mean? This is definitely wood. This is definitely wood.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Well, now I hate to do this, but can I add, most of the time when you do that, it is unmonetizable. Yeah. Because it cannot go public.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Okay, so today we have Eduardo, who is currently hiding behind his monitor.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
This guy's never had a single hiccup for how long has he been working here? I know, but can I say something?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
What was even the conversation that you were supposed to save for the mic? We don't even know it. We don't even know anymore. I don't remember.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
You're going to monetize our little anecdotes about how we've been and what we've been doing over the past. That's exactly what I would do.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Oh, my God. You know what you've done to our friendship? You've fractured it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Whichever one it is for 20 years. Oh, whereabouts? Belmont Shore. You live so close to me. I'm on Naples. Oh, my God. I lived in Naples for a little bit, too. Oh, my gosh. Do you want to be friends?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
You still live in Belmont? No, I live in Pasadena now. Oh, you went the wrong way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Must be me. I mean, I trim them, but they could comb into my hairline if I needed them.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
It's like the John Wick Hotel, but for clothes?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Just another nocturnal emission happening.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He unmans me. Yeah. You're just bewitching and this is joyous.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I'd like to offer myself as a sacrifice in some way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And also, how do you feel about being Conan O'Brien's friend?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And it's going to be Diane Keaton, Ron Howard, and Robert Altman.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Bob's going to know you in a whole different way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He's the antidote because he could be a sex bomb to your sex panic.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Is it 1-800-CARS-FOR-KIDS? Something like that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And it sounds like a typical Johnny Cash song, except it has kind of like John Barry horns in it. It's really something.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
A diurnal emission all day long here. This is... It what? Yeah. The what? The what? Diurnal?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
How about the Jason Isbell song you sang to us that time?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I can't do it. You two are just locked in icons.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I'm a Leonardo guy. Are you? And action.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Well, I can't relate. I don't mean to interrupt, but I just realized something that's Speaking of when you knew you wanted to do something, when I was a very young boy, my dad took me to downtown LA because that's where he used to work. First celebrity sighting was something being shot. A warehouse door opens up, outruns Ben Vereen, and then outruns Jeff Goldblum shooting 10-speed and branching.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
So I was seven when I saw you guys shooting that. And I just was baffled by the cameras and that you did it multiple times and going, why are they doing it again and again?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
My dad worked downtown and he would take me to downtown quite a bit. Downtown LA. What did he do, your dad? He was a division manager for the gas company. Oh, I see.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Occasionally there's, you know, repeated stories or something through just natural conversation that I'll pull out. You're not missing anything as a listener from the things I'm pulling out. Right. But this one, it couldn't have any editing because it's music. It's a symphony. And I also always take out little mouth noises and clicks. But Jeff Goldblum has this repeating feline slurp.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
So Jeff Goldblum is about to read a list of his favorite movies. This is heaven for him. The ones that made a big difference that I can remember to this day.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And it's just, I couldn't touch it. It would be like going, like you said, going to Michelangelo and editing his Sistine Chapel.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
There was like a do not be late for this one, remember?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Well, you can do a crossfade and you can blend one sexual grumble into the next, but I would never do that. Like, who am I to censor his sexual rumblings, his subsonic sexual rumblings?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And to that point, this introduction is about the interview. The interview itself is something like, I think, 70 minutes long. And we do a segment at the end of this episode where we just talk about how wonderful that interview was. So this is an all Goldblum episode.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He had a dream he expects a five-hour podcast. We can do this, it's okay.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
But let's be honest, you are the butts in seats of this movie.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Can I just take a second to share my notes for this episode of the podcast?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
So the listeners will have already heard that moment.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And that was, I think, three minutes and 46 seconds for him to say, hi, my name is Jeff Goldblum. And ultimately, I feel, I think he said drenched, something like- Who knows? Drained and drenched.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Yeah, although when I went to Ireland, they said it's girly. Ah, girly. Is it really?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I said it's girly because, no, it's girly.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He's a human electrolyte. He just gives you energy, like you were saying. And we know that he listens to all these segments and stuff. So this is as much for him, how much we loved him.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
We can put a test in there. Jeff, if you're listening to this, to prove it, come over to my house and watch some James Bond movies with me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Do you have friends? Oh, God, no. You don't? No, not a one.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Well, now Jeff Goldblum's my friend, so I do have a friend.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
This is supposed to be a Jeff Goldblum praise session.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
You know how, like, at a time, Porsche and Volkswagen had the same engine? Mm-hmm. That's the difference.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
It's kind of worse because it's like you're paying her to be belligerent.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Jeff Goldblum asks nothing and gives everything. You are transactional.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
You profit from me as well. In a roundabout way, I do, yes. In a roundabout way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He leads with love, you lead with fear. Yes. No, that's not good. Stalin did that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I mean, she's just saying the facts.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Metaphorically, that's what's going on here.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
See you next week at my house for James Bond. Okay, let's cut it there. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Joanna Solitaroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Will Becton. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts. and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Call the Team Coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Some people have narcolepsy. I got splooge-alypsy. Oh, my, I got splooge-alypsy.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
This guy, Bruno the Splooge. You're listening to Bruno the Splooge on KXW9. Oh. Oh.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
We have to wrap up what this movie is and then do the name thing. All is one giant piece. We're still rolling.