Emma Chamberlain
Appearances
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And I honestly would say that the ways that I was burned the most, though, were like more personal ways, like the ways that just like people who were like kind of bullies to me, like behind the scenes, like you would never like not necessarily on camera, but like most of the shit that was like. Bad was like behind the scenes where it's just like shitty friends. Yeah.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Well, I mean, I think that our friendship was based in content. You know, a lot of the times it was like, what was our friendship without content? Yeah. Like, if we weren't making content together, would we be friends? It's hard to say.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But I'm done with that. I've taken a break for the past few months. I'm like, sorry, I'm done. Or a month or so. Not that long. But I was like, I'm burnt out. So I'm going to take a fucking break.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Well, it's interesting because actually some of the friendships were like quite close friendships where we were talking a lot. Some of them not. But like some of them genuinely were close like that. But the question still remains, would we be friends if we weren't making content together when we were together? Right. And it's like, that's kind of where it gets foggy, right?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Because it's like, we were really close, but if we weren't making content together, would we be hanging out? Would we even care to check in on one another? You know what I mean?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It happened, like, one by one, I would say. Like, I would have kind of realization about... Just... And it wasn't, like, anything... Some of them, there was, like, moments where it was, like, a blow-up, where it was just, like, fuck you, you know? Like, this is just, like, not... Like, you are using me. I can tell. Fuck you. But then other moments, it was, like...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It was more just like a drift away where I was like, you know what? How is our friendship off camera? And if the friendship was like not good, then I was like, you know what? I'm just going to back away. And I've always been somebody where I'm like, I don't feel much sadness. If a friendship's not like positive, I will be the first one to fucking cut it off. And just because what's the point?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
You know, even if we're profiting off of our friendship, even if we're not, even if it's a private friendship, I will like walk away with no remorse if I feel like it's right. And so that I kept that principle for all friendships, you know, throughout my teen years.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
yes like I've definitely like I've definitely struggled to cut off public friendships a lot more public friendships have always been harder to kind of back away from even if it was like what needed to happen for all parties you know like it's definitely harder because you're like god like you know even if this ended civilly or even if it fucking didn't yeah we you know I don't want someone else the other party to get
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
in trouble by the court of public opinion for our friendship ending because even let's say they did the worst let's say they were such an to me they're gonna pay enough with their own conscience yeah you know i don't think it's necessary to have the world knowing about that too what do you get anxiety about in general like what are the main things that give you anxiety i would say the main thing that gives me anxiety
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
is something happening where my character is portrayed incorrectly and it being believed, right? And me not feeling like I'm able to say, this is not me. Because I know, like, I don't care what anybody says, I'm not a fucking bad person. And I know that. And I know that because... I have too much of a conscience. The guilt I feel about everything. I can't do bad shit.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Because my guilt and conscience is so strong that I almost wish I had less of that. Because I actually feel guilty about things that I don't need to feel guilty about. And it sucks. But I know that I'm not a bad person. But I do... sometimes fear that something will get in the, somebody will even spread a rumor about me. That's not real. And that will become known as fact.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And I know how things work on the internet where it's like, people aren't digging into every single story that they see. So if like a bad story that comes out about me comes out, people see it. They're just going to take it as fact. And let's say a week later it's proven. Oh, that's not true. Like Emma, Emma didn't hit an old person in the street. Um, like, um,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
people are still gonna remember the article that they saw where they said that I did. And that's what freaks me out is that, you know, I don't always feel like I'm able to defend myself. And I also don't always want to. And I also can't go in and diffuse every rumor about myself. I would be fucking, that's all I would ever do. You know what I mean?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
If I went and addressed every fucking rumor or every fake blah, blah, blah, blah, blah about me, you know, I wouldn't, that would be actually my full-time job. So like, I can't do it. And so it's just like this process of trying to figure out like, you know, like I just feel so out of control of the public perception of me because somebody could go and lie about me tomorrow. And you know what?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
The other thing is I don't like, let's say I did do something fucked up. Let's say I did push an old lady in the street. Let's say I was having a really bad day. Who knows? There's not a lot of room for having a bad day. There's not a lot of room for making a one-off mistake. And even if that's not something that reflects my character, how am I
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I can apologize and say, this is not me all I want, but everybody does that. And how do people even know that I'm being honest? You know? So it's like, it kind of feels like a witch hunt in a way. And I think that in some areas, like, yeah, criticism is necessary. Absolutely. But I think that sometimes like people love it. And so,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
They want to feed the drama and I don't want to be the butt of that. And listen, it's happened. You survive, but it just fucking sucks. And it sucks even more when it's not.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
true or it's not a representation of you as a person and people make blanket statements like oh we we heard Emma did this one time Emma is now evil all around you know there was like a rumor that I was a bully in high school and I remember I was like okay and I saw like a girl from my high school made a TikTok that was fully not true it was fully not true about like me saying some mean shit during class like made up this whole like fake story I'm like girl I
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
We went to all girls school. We were like nerdy. Like nobody was bullying each other in high school. Is there a chance that I excluded somebody in high school? Is there a chance that I maybe made a snarky remark to someone in high school? Fuck yes, there is. There's a great chance that I probably did that sometimes. I woke up too early. I was in a bad fucking mood. Sure. But.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I never did anything evil. I know that for a fact. And do you know what? If I did, I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't remember. Do you fucking remember what you did in high school? No. Nobody fucking remembers. And we're also kids. It's like kids playing in a fucking knife drawer. We're all learning how to be good people. And you're going to fuck up in that process.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But it's the fact that, you know, my... identity is in the hands of like everyone who's ever met me and everybody who's ever seen me do anything and I don't have control over that and the psychological damage is quite it is crazy but also I signed up for it. So here we are, you know what I mean?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
course so that's actually you guys are listening you are the ones ingesting it you're clicking on it i don't know i it's a it's a scary industry a little bit to be in right now i agree and i think the other thing is is that there's a difference between you know somebody doing something genuinely bad right and something genuinely bad and having an intent that's like i actually i
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
like want to hurt people, you know, because that happens on the Internet. You know, you see people fuck up and do things that genuinely directly harm people. And they actually had the intent of harming people. Right. I never on my whole time on the Internet have ever posted something with the with a negative intent. Right.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Now, listen, if I do something that is perceived in a way where it's like, Emma, that's not right. And here's why. That's fine. I'm willing to like learn. I'm always open minded, you know, and I think constructive criticism. There's nothing wrong with it. This could have been perceived in a way that was offensive and hurtful. I totally get that. Then it's like, OK, we'll go from there.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And thank you for letting me know. Let's move on. Like, I didn't have that intent, but I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm so glad that you let me know. I'm so happy to do better next time and to be more aware of how this could be perceived wrong. But it's when people are like, oh no. You're done.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
You're done because even though you had no idea what you were doing and even though it was a complete, complete 200% accident, you're still done because you made a mistake. That is such fucking uncharted territory. How are you supposed to predict? It's like, I could fucking put on deodorant in a video and I feel like at this point somebody's gonna be like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I've been thinking about YouTube for four years straight. There's not been a day or an hour that has gone by where something about it has not come into my head. And whether it's like, how do I want to evolve my, my videos? You know, what am I going to film next? Like, what are people going to think of that video? Was that video shit? Like same thing with my podcast.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
you're offending people that don't want to wear deodorant. No, literally. You know what I mean? It's like, I understand that like you have to, if somebody does something wrong, holding them accountable is fair. And in some actually places, very good. I've learned so much from being on the internet and from people being like, Hey, when you talk about this, like this, that's not cool.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And I've been like, damn, I would have never known that. Otherwise. Thank you. Like truly, like I'm grateful for that, but it's when it's like, people twisting shit just for funsies and not giving me room to be like, it just discourages me and it just makes me, yeah, it makes me want to disappear, you know? How has your brand evolved?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
When I first started on the internet in general, I was just kind of copying what all the girlies were doing. You know, I was like, okay, I'll talk about makeup and clothes and things like that. And then that wasn't really...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I will say there has been a lot of times where I've almost quit.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
lighting my soul on fire so then I was like I'm gonna start vlogging and I just started vlogging and then I vlogged for years I mean I was like you know just like filming random shit like whatever I thought was like funny or interesting or random at the time I was just filming it and so um in some like more concept-based videos too like stuff where I was like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
going to children's place and trying to pick out a cute outfit, you know, like shit like that. Yeah. And just like having fun with whatever. I kind of had no I was like my baseline theme on my channel is me. So like whatever happens, I'm just like the main theme of it, which I mean,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
What kind of self-centered idiot 16-year-old do you have to be to think that that's going to... You fucking narcissist, Emma. I know, right? I'm like, damn. You think it's about me? I'm like, it's about me? Me. Okay, that's it. What's your channel about, babe? It's about me. Me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Tune in. I promise you'll love it. No. But really, that was it. And then I think within the past year or so, I've been trying to kind of make my content a little bit more...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
mature because I'm more mature you know so like on my podcast I've been talking about more serious topics and on my YouTube you know the last few videos I made were very like more just like chill and toned down and just relaxed and like not super based on like a gimmicky kind of concept like just kind of just me existing and doing whatever and like editing the videos myself in a way that I felt was like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
calming and more mature to watch, I would say. Because I just don't think that like I want to be making, you know, I have to evolve the things that I'm putting out or else I'll seem ingenuine. They have to evolve with me or else it's like not going to work.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Was this episode, did I rant too much? Did this episode, like, was this episode fucking annoying? Like, was I repeating myself too much? You know, it's like, There's no end date. There's no room for a real break. There is, but you don't want to let yourself believe that, right? And... There's no room for mistakes. There's no room for mistakes. There's no room.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
This is something I've been thinking about a lot because I think that the last four years or whatever of me being on the internet, you know, I... When it came to... my career, I was just in autopilot. I was just like pumping shit out and it was coming from my heart still, but it was like, I was just kind of like on go, go, go, go, go mode. So I wasn't thinking about anything too deeply.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And I also wasn't thinking about, I definitely wasn't thinking about my own personal identity when no one's around and I'm by myself and I look in the mirror, who is that?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I was so focused on working 24-7 for the past four years that I was teetering between having no thoughts and being burnt out and just feeling like I was dying because I just could not look at a Final Cut Pro one more fucking time, right? But then also moments of just like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
absolutely just busting shit out and like it was just like back and forth teetering that left no time for me to ever have a free moment to be like okay wait who am i outside of all this so for the fat for the past four years you know i've just been on in this hamster wheel of working and working and working and working and working and you know kind of exploiting myself at times to just
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
do as much as I possibly could, especially because I started to get so many opportunities that I was excited about. I was like, well, I don't wanna say no, you know what I mean? Like I wanna do everything, but you can't do that. But I didn't know that at the time. So I was spreading myself so thin and giving myself no time to sit back and be like, okay, wait, who the fuck are you?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Who the fuck are you? And within the past, I would say, honestly, especially two or three months, I've been having a lot of like psychological struggles because I'm like, I'm now having to figure out like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
refine my identity after like shoving it away for the past four years ignoring it and just putting that on the back burner it's like now I'm left being like I don't even know what fulfills me what excites me what you know makes me feel like I have purpose outside of my work I don't know what it is because I've not let myself go there I didn't have the time to go there and so that's kind of what I'm figuring out now and you know
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I've gotten to a place where it got so dark for me you know even recently that I was like well I don't fucking care if everything goes away I'm like I don't care because I'm so I'm so disconnected from myself that like I need to refine that and if when I'm ready to come back to the internet fully and if when I'm ready to like you know get back into the swing of things like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
i if if people don't want to watch anymore people don't care anymore i need to do what i gotta do yeah it's impossible to develop your identity and be online at the same time because developing your identity means silence you need silence you need alone time you need to be
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
intimate with people you know you need all of these types of things that do not align with being a fucking youtuber or even being a podcaster at times you know i think podcast is like when it comes to personal identity it's easier especially too because like they can't always see you there's something nice but i don't know but with youtube specifically it's like trying to develop your personality and simultaneously continue to be consistent on the internet it's like you cannot do both because you have to have
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
A fully formed something to show. Did you ever watch Harry Potter? You know I did.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
You're giving me Gryffindor through and through, and I don't say that about many people.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
humanity in a way like your boss is literally just like public opinion it feels like and that's fucking weird and it's so out of your control because the court of public opinion evolves it ebbs it flows it's not like you're reporting to one person and like being like here's my work for the week you just have to be constantly trying to guess what the people want and when you're living by that
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
You know, I, I wouldn't say that like my growth completely stopped because I, you know, it's like I was still growing. I, I, for the last four years made my entire purpose in life. To like at a certain point, I was like, my entire purpose is to now succeed at this and take it as far as I can and enjoy it while I'm doing it. Right.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And so I put away and threw away all other purposes that I had even brewing in me. I was like, I don't give a fuck about anything else. I'm throwing all of my eggs in this in this basket. You know what I mean? I want to make this is my only purpose. And then now I'm at a place where. I've arrived at what I wanted to happen.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And now I'm left with this feeling where I'm like, this is fucking amazing. And I'm so happy that I'm here, but I don't have any more goals in this area. Right. I don't have any more thing. I don't want to get more followers. I don't want to get more views. I don't care about that shit anymore. You know, like at a certain point I was like, I would love to grow this as big as I can, like whatever.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Now I'm like, I don't really think it needs to go any bigger. Like I'm good. You know what I mean? I'm fine with it how it is now. So I'm having to like figure out now what things will give me purpose outside of this. And it's a fucking hard pill to swallow. I didn't, I, you know, I'm like, I'm 20 and I'm like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Now I have to find a whole new purpose, but also everybody is looking at me and is like, look at that. But you have this to look at. And I'm like, I need something bigger and deeper for myself that might not have anything to do with the internet. You know what I mean? I just don't know what that is yet.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And so that's been something that I've been struggling with is like, I haven't had time to do hobbies or whatever. But the other thing is that... I'm now in a routine where like I don't really have a lot of inspiration to do things that don't involve my work, which is a weird thing that like because my work in my hobbies became one. Right. Right.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
So like I don't have like the desire to do other little hobbies that like my brain convinces me are pointless to do. You know what I'm saying?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Yeah, it's honestly like everything in my life is melded into one where it's like my job, my social life, or lack thereof most of the time because I'm too anxious. But like, you know, every element of my life is all connected. You know, I don't have a separation of things.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And because of that, it all feels like everything could fall apart if I just pushed the wrong domino and it could just all fucking fall down. Like, you know, It's it's everything feels very fragile, which is why I'm now like, OK, I can't have all my eggs in this basket. I want to continue doing this. This is, you know, my passion and something that I I enjoy doing this stuff. Right.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But I have to find a life outside of it and solidify that life and like make that life something where I'm not so worried about what people think of me on the Internet. I'm not so worried about, you know, if this all went away tomorrow, because I do have this life outside of it that's so rich that. It doesn't matter.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It is, I mean, of course, like I do love meeting people. I mean, I really do. And I am generally a social person, I would say. Like I don't really get social anxiety about talking to people. Like if somebody comes up, I mean, there's been moments when it's been like kind of overwhelming or something just because it was like, you know, I was late to something or blah, blah, blah.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It's like, what formula are you to follow? There's no formula to follow. It's like uncharted territory. And sometimes the people don't even know what they want. So if they give you an idea that might not actually work. Sometimes you have to predict what people want. And it's just this whole mind fuck.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I always, you know, the actual interaction itself is always pleasant. You know, the only thing that I'm paranoid about is people who don't maybe like me and see me in public and they are like want to film me or are like watching me and like making fun of me behind my back. Like it's the fact that I could be anywhere and somebody might recognize me and I might not actually know that they know me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
If somebody comes up to me and like says, oh my God, like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
what's up you know like that's sweet i don't actually mind that it's it's the fact that i don't know when i'm not when i'm just another human being drifting through the street or when somebody is watching me because they've seen me before that is what makes me anxious and that's what makes it hard you know because i'm constantly feeling like i'm being surveillanced whether i know it or not
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I think a big step in it was deciding like that I'm going to, probably step back from youtube okay you know just because i will say that and i mean i don't know i'm not making anything definite right i'm just like this is just where i'm at now i take it day by day that's what i have to do or else i lose my mind but um
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
i i do like for me doing a weekly podcast is something that i can do because i mean it's very much me sitting in bed and like just talking um but i also think that by stepping back from youtube i have a lot more free time so that i can figure out okay maybe i want to like you know, who knows what I want to do.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But like, I might want to do something else that's creative that I can create for, you know, the world to hopefully enjoy if they decide to enjoy it. Like, it gives me room to explore number one, like what I could do next in my career, but also it gives me more time to like develop friendships properly.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And listen, I'm not complaining about it because in every job and every, you know, profession in life, like there are elements of it that are just a nightmare. And I think just with this, it's like, everything could just go away so quickly. And I think the way that I've found peace in it is I'm like, okay, if it does, then it does. And I'll just get pregnant and have a baby.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Cause I also, you know, don't like to have people in my videos or in my, on my podcast or anything. Cause I just gives me too much anxiety and I like it just to be me. And so, you know, it caused me to push a lot of people away cause I couldn't combine work and play, you know, I had to keep those very separate. And so because of that, it was like, I didn't hang out with people very often.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
So I'm taking this time to just like have as much free time as possible and just let myself get really bored and like see what I want.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
it's hard i and i think i have to be strict with myself and be like emma like you know you can do your podcast yeah but you can't be posting videos and be trying to figure out who you are and what you enjoy to do when the camera's off if the camera's still fucking on every week you just can't figure it out so you know
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I don't know what's, I'm constantly changing my, I'm like, oh, now I'm doing this. Oh, wait, now I'm doing this. I'm all over the place, right? Dude, you're 20, as you should be. So it's like, but I just don't think, I also don't know if, I feel like there might be something else out there that might excite me career-wise.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It might light me, light my soul on fire, you know, like there's something out there that I might be missing.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And so I want to have a little bit of time to explore that and see like what I want to do next that's going to be exciting to me. I think that's amazing.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It's really interesting because I always I struggled with my sexual identity growing up as well because as I mentioned earlier like I was just a late bloomer and I just also wasn't like an ultra feminine girl and I've never been like a super stereotypically feminine woman but yet like I I
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
straight woman like that's what I am but like no one ever like I've always gotten like shit for that you know and people have growing up too you know like people being like that's not true and I'm like you guys like Why? And I mean, listen, like I don't ever want to complain.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Like sexuality is such a tough and like intimate and emotion filled subject that like I don't want to complain about people like, you know. questioning my sexuality because I know it can be so much worse and so much more complex so I don't want to sound like I'm complaining but at the time I was like you know people like I remember my ex-boyfriend was like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
we were dating and like one of his friends like was like, dude, like she doesn't actually like you. Like she, I don't think she actually likes you. Like she's, I think she likes girls. Like I don't think she likes you. And then he came to me and told me that. And I was like, why the fuck would you say that? Like just why the fuck would you say that? Like, why are you assuming that?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Like, cause that's not true. And if it was true, so fucking be it. But like, why is this like, why are people speculating? Like I'm like, I'm dating it. Like, Why do you think he thought that? So he actually told my ex-boyfriend why he thought this. And it was because I didn't wear makeup and I wore sweatpants a lot. So all of a sudden now I'm like not allowed to like boys.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I was like, shut the... Right. Holy fuck. I mean, seriously, like just stupid. And I mean, I've always thought like...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I mean I get it we're humans like we're curious about other humans and so I don't think it's like I don't think there's anything wrong with within the privacy of your own mind to look at somebody else and be like hmm I wonder this this or that about their sexuality if you do that within the safety of your own mind totally sure but don't go to my boyfriend and be like dude
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Like, I think you're barking up the wrong tree here. Like, that's so fucking rude.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I was like, well. all of a sudden now I feel like I need to start being like, not myself. Like this is me. You know what I mean? This is just who I am.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I do like you. And I'm like, why the fuck should I have to prove that anyway? Nobody should ever have to prove shit about never. It's like, it's so incredibly nobody's business, which is, I think,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
why like I've always kind of been afraid of getting into it is just because I'm like sexuality is also something that has ebbs and flows too like some moments you're like oh my god I'm on like a roll I'm just like hooking up with everybody and like I just whatever and sometimes you're like I literally can't remember the last time I felt like any kind of excitement about anything sexually like there's so many moments things are constantly evolving there but
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Well, I'm in an interesting spot now where, you know, I'm 20 and I am in a spot where I'm ready to evolve things. And I don't really know what that means for myself right now. But I need to like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I also think that I'm just not somebody where, actually let me rephrase, because I was a very late developer as a young person, and because I didn't get any attention from guys really for my,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
appearance I definitely like became used to getting attention from what I was talking about and like what I was and how I was behaving and like that was what I started to lean into more because I was like well people don't I don't have boobies so like nobody's looking at me for my boobies so you know I have to figure out some other way to get attention and so that kind of became muscle memory where I was like well now I just feel like nobody's ever looking at me and is like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
looking at me in a sexual way so in order to like get attention I just have to like utilize my personality and then hope that like through that somebody will be able to be attracted to me in a more sexual way like If they maybe like like me personality wise. So that's kind of what I became used to.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But it always made me feel shitty because I was like, I just don't think guys are looking at me and are like looking at me in a sexual way ever. And that fucked with me because I was like. But. But why? Like, you know what I mean? I was like, this sucks. And even now that I'm older and like I like my boob has grown like maybe like this much, like like a tiny little little tiny bit.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But now that I'm older, you know, it's like. Even though like that's not really as much of an issue anymore, it's still. there's a little trauma there, you know, where in the back of my head, I'm like, number one, I remember people always not believing that I was like, that I was somebody who preferred dating men, uh, which like fucked with me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But then also like, I, uh, like have memories of like just guys not being attracted to me physically. And then on top of that, like, I'm also just not a super outwardly sexual person. Like, I never present myself in a very outwardly sexual way. I'm just not comfortable doing that. And I don't have – there's nothing wrong with doing that. I just – it's never felt right to me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And I've always felt like, well, because I'm not an outwardly sexual person, like, does that make me less attractive too in some ways? You know what I mean? So – But, like, that's just – it's so interesting, though, because the perception of me is so interesting for me to, like, watch. Like, people are like – I've seen comments that are just like, there's just no way, like, Emma's ever had sex.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And I get it. But I get it. But then that fucks with me because I'm like, I get why they think that. So –
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I mean, my, like, experiences in, throughout my life, actually, I haven't had, like, a lot of one-off experiences. Like, I've mainly just been in relationships, which I think... was good and bad. You know what I mean? Well, I think, okay.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I would say when it came to like any experience I've ever had in my life where it's been like a sort of one time thing, which hasn't actually happened a lot, but every time that it has, I feel like I've been able to kind of play a game where maybe I'm being a little bit more feminine because It's just fun. It's just fun. I can just be whatever the fuck I want right now.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I am. You can't do that in a relationship. No. Because the colors come out far too quick. So I've never really been able to play that game in a relationship. I definitely have done that in the few times that... I've like, again, like so it's happened, but never in relationships.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But I found that in past relationships, I didn't feel as respected by guys that have dated in the past just because I feel like they kind of. Well, especially like one relationship in particular, but it was just like I just felt like, you know. he was very critical of the fact that I like maybe wasn't a super feminine girl. And like, sometimes he was like, Oh, it's actually super cool and chill.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And then sometimes he was like, he was like, like if I had like put on jeans and come over, he would be like, Oh my God. Like you finally like put effort in. Like, that's crazy. Like it was like, and you're like, and I'm like, dude, shut the fuck up. Like I'm like, or you know, if I would be wearing makeup, or whatever, it would be like a big deal.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And like, it would be like, oh my God, you're wearing makeup? Like, whoa, you know what I mean? Or like, you should wear heels tonight. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, I'm like, no, like I felt like I wasn't enough in like the areas that I was feminine weren't enough. So I felt like, you know, there was an effort to like make me more feminine to fit what they wanted.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But just like, again, it's like, we were fucking kids. All my relationships happen you know, at such young ages that it's like, of course there's going to be shit like that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Well the thing is too about it is that as humans you know we're not supposed to. I mean, this is just an issue with social media in general. But you're just not supposed to be exposed to that many opinions, that many people's successes, that many people's vacations, that many people's hot takes. You're just not supposed to experience that many people's...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Um, but I would say I'm fully comfortable now in like what areas I'm more feminine and what areas I'm more masculine because I simply just getting into a relationship where my masculine and feminine traits are appreciated, but also like you know dating somebody who like just doesn't care about that shit and is just like enjoys people for like being a person like that it's like in less about like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And also it's like kind of similar to me in the sense where like maybe not the super traditional, super masculine, super feminine, like that's not playing any roles in our relationship. You know?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Yeah. Okay. I was, I've never talked about this on the internet. This is so fun.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I also like in my personal life, I talk about sex all the time. That's why it's so fucking weird for me that I never talk about it. Like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I don't think, but also like I, yeah. Okay. So. Oh yeah. Oh. I was 17. Great age. It was actually a really not bad experience. Like it was with.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
a guy that I was like seeing at the time that I was pretty comfortable with and I mean he was definitely like you know he had had sex lots of times and I obviously hadn't but he was like great he like really like I don't know it was just like it was one of the most jarring experiences for me though in my entire life because it was one of those things where
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It was something I just never believed was possible for myself. Because growing up I had these experiences of people doubting my sexuality. I even had moments where I was kind of like, I don't even know if I like anyone. I went through phases where I was like, I feel nothing towards anyone. And I don't even know if I'm ever going to like somebody enough to... you know, let them in like that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And, and I also was like, I don't feel like anybody wants to do this with me. You know, like I've never been, nobody's ever looked at me in a sexual way before, at least to my face. So like, I don't think that this is possible. Yeah. Um, and so when it was happening, I was like, Oh, it was so, it was, I was like, this is just like, it feels like everything's like shifting in my life, you know?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
lives right you're you know we're programmed biologically to only have to compare ourselves and and listen to like a handful of people right i've watched a video about this like i'm not a fucking scientist but like i did watch a video about this yeah yeah um i'm citing my sources long story short like you're just not supposed to hear from that many people it's not
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
chapter and i felt i had weirdly like imposter syndrome with it right because i was like i don't feel like i'm like are you sure that you want to do this i'm like nobody ever wanted to do this so i don't know why you want to do this and also i had a huge crush on this guy at the time so like you know he's even more crazy for me um and in retrospect i can look back and be like no like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I was being hard on myself and I didn't need to be like that. But... I mean, it hurt really bad.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It was so awful. We didn't even have sex. Right. It's not sex.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It doesn't get fun until you're like, Older. Older. Yes. And even like... Then like there's always more to learn. Always.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Well, you also are like, it's so true. I mean, I've had moments like on a personal level, but also like with other people, like when I'm, you know, like. Where I've just been, I've gotten into my head and been like almost embarrassed. Where I'm like, bitch, you are not, stop. Like stop being like.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I'm like, I literally, I'm like, this is not, it feels like out of character. Yes. And it doesn't feel like it aligns with me. And like. And you want to do it. That's why I hate going on top. Because I'm like, I don't want to have to fucking think about me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
but it's like people are very judgmental about if you're like, I'm not, I don't like, I listen, it's not like I'm not a sexual person. There's definitely that side of me, but I also am like not a super sexual person. And like, there are times when I'm like, I don't, it doesn't need to be this like whole crazy thing. Like it's just, it just is what it is.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And like, I don't feel like I don't want to fucking perform. I don't want it. It just,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
and I think that the expectation to perform might actually end up being detrimental too at times, because you're like, it's all about figuring out what the vibe is, and if you're just like, well, the vibe doesn't feel like making really loud sounds right now, but I'm just gonna do it anyway, because I saw it in porn yesterday. You know what I mean? But then it's kind of like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
like something that we're evolved to be able to comprehend. So it makes sense that, you know, for us, for example, like reading comments all the time from hundreds of different people, sometimes thousands, sometimes millions, that's just not a normal experience. And so when our brains react in weird ways, it's like, what else did we expect? This is a weird situation and is not normal. Natural.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But then it takes away from the intimacy of it. Yeah. You should just disappear and like not think. Yes. And like let it happen. Yeah. And that's it. You just have to get out of your way.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I will admit that I will enjoy... Kate, I know you're going to hate me. I was just about to say something. I'm not going to say it. Wait, but should I say it anyways? What? And then I'll cut it out. On Call Her Daddy, I will admit that I enjoy vanilla sex.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
i think that's okay like you're not trying to like like boring sex like you're not trying to like swing from the i think that's totally fine what's wrong with like fucking like like a good missionary and then like one other position go to bed what is wrong with nothing i don't need to fucking like literally do a helicopter background fucking right flip all over i don't want to do that i also like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I mean, listen, okay, yeah. There's moments when you can be crazy. There's moments when you can be fun. I get it. That's like once in a blue moon. In reality, it doesn't need to be like that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
With guys or in general? Oh, both. Okay. With guys, I get the ick when just like any kind of like cockiness and bragging and like trying to like...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
signal that they're like successful to me this is not rapid fire with me nothing will ever be rapid fire with me i'm so sorry um being cocky and honestly when people like just have bad taste in like clothing and fashion i feel um not that i know around emma right now stop with my outfit i'm like no I'm not saying like, there's like a certain like, but they're like braggy about it.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
So like being cocky about like having bad taste, that's really icky to me. It makes me have the ache every time. Is that you? That's not you. You're always hot.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And who's also so gorgeous. So gorgeous. And dresses like the hottest.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It can never be short. Not technically, but like I've been in situations where it was maybe not right for people to be going out and they did. Fair.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
just like not be supportive of like things that I was doing like simple things like work stuff what I decided to order on a menu like just like being in a relationship where somebody was constantly disapproving of every little thing I was doing and like being genuinely mean about it good answer how is the relationship you're in now different from previous experiences with partners it's I mean so many everything about it I mean obviously being like best friends with
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
your significant other is the best fucking thing ever and i don't think that that's ever been true prior also like just the most like not like incredible i i can't even it's just like it's almost like when you're in a good relationship it's like you found somebody that's like a missing piece.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And like, they just have all the things that you wish you had and you learn from them and they learn from you and they treat you with respect and there's a mutual respect and it's like all these things and it's like also your best friend and then it all comes together and you're like, I don't have any complaints and I don't know how that's possible. You know?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I think that even for me, as a consumer of the internet, things are interesting when there's mystery around them. And because I don't ever confirm or deny anything,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
that's why I think it's so interesting it's almost like if I were to share it it would become possibly less interesting but the problem is that I want to protect the people that I'm dating or the people that I'm like even just lightly talking to or the people that I'm hooking up with like whoever it is at whatever given moment like even at whatever stage it's at I want to give them complete privacy and I don't
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I mean, for me personally, I'm like, I don't care. Like, I mean, I it's more like I'm concerned about how it affects them. And I don't ever want to, like, lose an opportunity to, like, have a good connection with somebody because my life style creates them stress. Right. And that's something I've like worried about in like relationships that I've been in that have been positive.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I'm like, I just like I'm scared that this is going to get out because I don't want them to feel violated and like they didn't sign up for this. Like, you know what I mean? And so that's why I keep it private.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But also if things come out or things are speculated about most of the time, people that I've been with or people that I haven't been with where it's been speculation and they're like, this is silly. Right. But I just decided to talk about none of it. Cause I'm like, if it's true or it's not, it doesn't fucking matter. Cause if I chime in about stuff when it's not true, then that means everything.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I don't chime in about smart. I just leave it all to the imagination. And honestly, it's kind of fun to see. It's kind of fun to see like what people assume. So yeah.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I would hope that people would say that in one way or another, like something that I said, something that I shared made them feel inspired or made them feel comforted in some way. Like that's my main goal is I want people to feel comfortable and heard by listening to me, but also kind of like safe in a way too.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
find what mediums and what things make me excited because I was in this hamster wheel of you know creating content every single week for four years and the thing that kept me coming back was the fact that that's It's literally like a disease.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Well, I think a lot of people who were following me at the time when they found out I was moving to L.A. were like, there she goes. You know what I mean? Like, there goes the girl that we fell in love with. She's about to die. You know what I mean? Like, she's not going to be here anymore. And I think to a certain extent that was a valid concern. And I think, well, okay, here's the thing.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It was such a huge life shift in my foundation and my reality changed so much that my sense of identity kind of went out the window and I was having to like rebuild myself. My new I mean, and this happens regardless of if you're moving to L.A. and doing YouTube or if you're just literally a teenager, you know, like there was a lot of shifting that was going on.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
It was like I was making new friends. I was starting to try to date guys like I was like. like living on my own and, uh, like trying to figure out what that entailed. And like, there was so many life changes all at once that like a whole new group of people, a whole new scenery. It was just like, whatever my sense of identity was fucked.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And so when it came to like making videos, the shift from moving from home to moving to LA took such a psychological toll on me that I don't think I was willing to admit to myself at the time. But yeah, It was so exhausting to you know, find your footing in a new place, especially LA that like I was very drained just from life itself.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And so when it came time to like make YouTube videos, I was like, I am so fucking tired just from like existing here right now that I think my content at certain times throughout the first year and a half, two years of being in LA, like my content had moments of suffering because there were just moments when I was
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
my life itself was a mess and not even a mess in a bad way, just simply a mess where I didn't feel like I had a foundation.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
I think the good is that there are so many people here that are in a similar industry. to me and to you it's so being here is nice because there's a lot of people around that can relate because it's a very unique situation and it's comfortable to be around people that are in the same industry as you but but well also another good thing about LA is that
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
you know, there's a lot more opportunities here and it's a lot easier. Like if you have to do a shoot for something or if you have to do an interview for something, you know, everybody's in the same area. So it's just a lot more convenient to get a lot more done because everything's here. It's either here or New York. And usually it's here.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Actually, a lot of people from New York fly here to do stuff. And so living here is very easy, uh, to get the most done. And I can't take that away from LA. Also LA, you know, it's like the weather's nice and like, you know, you're close to the beach. Like there's great things about LA, but I will say that there is a lot of toxic stuff about it. Number one being that you can't walk anywhere.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
That makes me really upset. Number two, that's like the stupidest thing to complain about, but it sucks. Um, number two. Being around people that are in the same industry as you is also not always the best thing because there's a lot of competitiveness. There's a lot of trying to, you know, use you to get farther. And that's something I didn't anticipate.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
You know, it's great when you can find someone here who is in the same space as you that, like... just wants companionship, but that's actually more rare than you think. Yeah. So there's a lot of room to get fucked over when you're being friends with people in your industry. And that's something that I really struggled with and experienced.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
When you start doing YouTube or you start a podcast or whatever you do, which I've been doing both now for two years or so, you're like, if I miss a week, I'm done. People are going to fucking forget. People won't care. And you guilt trip yourself into pushing through even the roughest moments because... I burped. Because... There's this stigma that like the second you take a break, you're out.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
Oh, my God. It's been so many times. I mean, like, I... And sometimes using is not always a bad thing. Sometimes you can even find yourself being like, well, yeah, they're maybe using me, but I guess I'm kind of using them too. In certain types of collaborations, things like that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
But I think that's kind of different because usually when it comes to a collaboration of some sort, it's a mutual benefit. Sometimes it's not, though. And in those moments, you're like, okay, I'm not benefiting from this at all. This person's profiting off of...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
me in some way and I don't feel number one like it's having a positive impact on me and number two like I don't think that they actually care about me and so that's when it gets a little messy is when it's not a mutual thing and you can tell that they actually don't even care about you at all and you know It's a part of it. Again, like it's a part of it.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
And so I, in retrospect, now that I'm far away from all people or all things that could ever put me in a spot where I would be used or would feel taken advantage of in some way, like now that I'm far away from those things and I can look back at those moments when I did feel that way and I was wrapped up in those things, I forgive because I understand that
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
you know, it's like, we're all just trying to prove that we deserve to have dropped out of college or to have dropped out of high school or to have moved to LA. Like we're all just trying to make it happen. And so if somebody thought that they could benefit from me in some way, yeah, that's not nice of them. But also I understand where their head was at and I'm able to forgive now.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
there was like a few instances where you know people would want me to appear in their videos for example and you know I would be like I can't today because like I need to be working and I need to like I have to be doing and they'd be like and you know maybe because they were more successful than me in some ways or whatever when they would be like you have to I would be like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
You know, and so I was young and very yes man when I first moved to L.A. So if somebody in these like YouTubers who are maybe more established, I think that they knew that they could kind of push me around a little bit, not only on camera, but off as well, just by, you know, like they just knew that I was really also still kind of a fan of everyone. I think they could sense that as well.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 2 (FBF)
knew that they could take advantage of me and that it would be fine and listen again it's fine like I get it but I'm also like but it still sucked and it it made me a lot less productive and it made me depressed because I felt like just an object in some ways which again I don't think that was their intent but I felt like I was just like a fucking drone a corporate drone you know what I mean like a YouTube corporate drone um
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
No, it hurts. Wait, why? Explain. Like, why does it hurt? Yeah. Well, you know, let's explain this for people who don't know what MagCon is. Basically... There was a group of really hot. Well, it's creepy to say that they're hot now that I'm 20.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
But like at the time, I thought they were the hottest guys I'd ever seen. They were on Vine doing absolutely nothing of substance. Right. Right. Which is fine. You know, like that's not their fault. Right. It's like TikTok.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It's basically, it was like a group of like really good looking kids that were on Vine that were famous and they would like go on tours and do meet and greets and like meet all their young girl fans and like, you know, do weird shit on stage that made no sense because they really, if you think about it, didn't necessarily have some sort of talent except for actually Shawn Mendes was in MadCon and he is like now Shawn Mendes.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So like it worked out for some of them. It was like Cameron Dallas and like Nash Greer. You know what I mean? I remember that. Yes. I was obsessed.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
with them like I and they had YouTube channels and I would rewatch their videos like every night before bed and I was like one day like I'll meet a Madcon boy and I'll be able to just date one of them they'll fall in love with me and like I was I think that's how a lot of people felt though oh for sure yeah but I will say that like my crushes as a young person were all consuming like they were not like cute little mini crushes like I was obsessed with
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
fiending for that i was fiending i don't it was weird like in retrospect i don't it's so out of character right like people would not assume that of me but i've always been somebody that like when i have a crush on so i'm not creepy i don't like stalk anybody but it is all consuming for me i get that because then you go spiral down like you watch every youtube video and you watch every single possible thing that you consume of that like interviews and everything everything and then you're invested in their life yeah and they don't even know who you are no well now they probably do
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It was... I don't even fucking want to think about it.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So I had an interesting experience with high school because basically I was a really... academically driven student. And so I was obsessed with the idea of going to a super prestigious college and I was willing to do anything to get there. And so when it came time to choose what high school I was going to go to, the public schools in my area were not great. And I wanted to go to that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I wanted to go to a braggy, you know, super prestigious, impressive school. And I was like, I can't get that if I go to these public schools. So I was like, Mom and Dad, I want to go to a private school. And I went and I toured this all-girls Catholic school that had a really great education. And I was like, you know, this could actually be good. I really liked it.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
the environment when i toured the school and i was able to get financial aid so that i could financially go there because i would not have been able to afford it otherwise and so there i went i went to all girls catholic school um and i hated it after the first year and i was like i made a big fucking mistake and i haven't seen a boy in a long time and now those dick pics on kick suddenly i'm trying to fucking hack back into my kick to see those dick pics i'm like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I my dream school was Columbia, which was like not going to fucking happen. But like, you know, actually, I mean, I was a good student. Like, I don't know how I was a good student.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I like just knew how to do school for whatever reason. And so I got really good grades, like always above a 4.0 every year.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
i listen i don't fucking know how it's possible okay it was flex i was like really just i and i don't think that school is a great measure of intelligence i'll be the first one to say it um because i'm a fucking idiot in a lot of areas so like whatever but i was good at school so i was like i'm gonna use this and you know i wanted to go into the medical field like i wanted to be an anesthesiologist wow but like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
On what basis? One time I had anesthesia when I had a surgery and the anesthesiologist, see I can't even fucking pronounce the word.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I dropped out of high school so it's fine that I don't know how to pronounce it. I didn't finish my education so you can't expect too much from me. Like I got a surgery once and was like, oh, this job seems chill. And then I looked up how much they make a year and I was like, oh, this job's super chill.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I'm like, you have to go to school for like 11 years, but like... Eventually you'll get that check. Why not?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
No. Oh. It was not cute. No. Actually, you know, in retrospect... It was fine. Like, it could have been a lot worse. Okay. But it was pretty bad.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Basically, the all-girls school had a corresponding all-boys school. Yep.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And so we would kind of party with the boys from the all-boys school. And they had friends that they knew from middle school that were at other, like, co-ed schools. And then we knew other girls that went to...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
other co-ed school so it kind of all like congealed but I think that the thing that made it possible for the boys and girls to be together was the fact that both boy and girl schools were desperate for each other you know what I mean yeah so and and you know there was like a distinct like okay this is the corresponding boy school so it was like we didn't see each other every day but at football games we'd see each other and prom and things like that anyway
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I think that's what really like I was like, I don't even care what we talk about. Like, I need to do this because we just clicked so well. And we just like talked about so much random shit. And like. We just clicked so well.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I actually ended up kissing a guy from, like, a school that was probably 30 minutes away that, like, came to a New Year's party that we were throwing, like, the two schools. And it was extremely set up.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
You know, it was like, oh, he's outside waiting now. Okay, but you also have to, like, can we paint a picture? Like, I was a super late bloomer. I mean, I had, like, no boobs. Like, I looked really young. Like, it was, like... I looked super young. I always have. I even now look kind of young. A lot of people think I look young now. So I felt super... Also, I never felt like...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
mature enough for like this type of behavior you know what I mean because mentally I felt mature enough but physically I didn't I felt like I didn't fit the super feminine mold right where you like have like boobs and like you know you wear like a low top and like you whatever I could not participate in that so I felt so uncomfortable when it was time to do anything with boys because I was like I want to and
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like I mentally feel ready, but outwardly I don't feel like I look ready. And I feel insecure of my appearance, even though I know that in my brain, like I'm ready and that I like love boys. And in fact, I'm like quite obsessed with boys. Like, but I didn't feel like I looked that way.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I was super insecure about my boobs. Okay. Because, which now I'm like, I love having small boobs. Like it's the best thing ever. Like I don't care. But you know, when I was younger, I like didn't have any boobs. Like it wasn't just like, oh. they're no, they flat. And you know, guys in middle school used to give me a hard fucking time about that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like calling me, you know, like a door, like whatever, like shit like that. And, um, which is fine. Like whatever. I'm friends with those kids now. Like I forgive. Um, but you know, it's good to, it's good to be forgiving. But I also like didn't get my period until I was 16 and I felt like I wasn't a woman without it. You know, I was like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Well, I was always really obsessed with YouTube because as I mentioned earlier, I didn't have cable. And so I watched a lot of YouTube. And when I was like in fifth grade, I tried to make a YouTube video on my iPad. I wish we could watch it so bad. I need to find that iPad because it has so much good shit on it.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
But my cousins and I were constantly making little videos during family vacations, during holidays, like whatever. Constantly making little videos. There were these...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
iMovie trailer templates that you could use so you could make like a movie trailer but iMovie provided the template so all you had to do is like film little things and then they would plug it in for you and so we would do those all the time so I was familiar and comfortable in that sense where you know my cousins and I were always obsessed there is a big difference between recording something and then pressing upload on that shit like you gotta have balls to press upload for sure
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I'm like getting a facial done and getting my toes done while I'm at the table.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Well, my first YouTube video ever, I was in fifth grade and I was like, I don't care. I don't, I didn't even want to like be famous. Like I never thought I could like get any like recognition from it. I, To this day, I've always looked at fame as an impossible thing. So I was like, I'm not going to become famous from this. But I was like, even just a few people commenting will make me feel good.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Post. And then, of course, nothing happened. And then I deleted it a week later. That was my very first one. But then when I was 16 and I uploaded, I honestly...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
just i was in such a shitty spot that i was like i have nothing to lose like i'm so depressed i'm so unhappy i like i want to do something that makes me feel good and youtube has always made me feel good so i'm i'm just gonna post on there did anyone from your high school when they saw that make fun of you or like say anything mean behind my back yes but never to my face and i heard about people saying shit behind my back but it's like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like, what were they saying? They were just like, does she really think anything's going to come of that? Which is... You know what? No, listen. Fair enough. Like, if I would have seen...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
someone from my high school posting on YouTube I number one I would have said the same thing about them I would have been like really like what's gonna come on you guys like it's not easy but on the other hand I was even saying that to myself it wasn't like people were it wasn't like I was posting YouTube videos being like I'm gonna make it big one day you know I was posting videos like this is just a hobby for me and like even if I just get a hundred subscribers like that's fun
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
like I just a little community and also I enjoy making the videos I enjoy the process of it so what happened after I pressed upload it was more just like well at least it lives somewhere when did you go viral so about about like two or three months after I started That's crazy. It was, you know, it was crazy. But I also think that a big reason for that was I was uploading every fucking day.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like I was uploading every single day during the summer. And by the end of the summer, I had like something like 50 videos. And so I had such a
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
collection already that it was easy it didn't take as long because I was grinding I mean every day I was like I need to make a video every day and then I ended up cutting it down and I was like three days a week and then I cut it down two days a week and then I cut it down one day a week but it was like in the beginning I started and I was like I just want to get as good at this as I can as quickly as fucking possible and then when that one video did really well I was like it was this video where I went to the dollar store and I bought a bunch of like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
random shit and did like a fake haul like I was kind of like kidding around doing a haul and I was really proud of the video and it like after two weeks it had like half a million views or something or maybe it was like it had a hundred thousand views after like
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
yeah and what when that was happening what were you doing like were you telling your parents what were you my parents my dad was like super interested he was like i think you could really do something with this actually and i was like okay i don't but thanks dad i was like dad like that is like one in a trillion like why are we why are we let's not go there because i'm just gonna get disappointed you know but he's like i don't know i'm like i think if you really get good at this like something could come of it when all of a sudden like so many people are watching
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Well, I think it was one of those things where, you know. I have been on the internet for so long that people know me as a teenager. Yes. And I'm 20. I'm about to be 21, which is still literally like a child. Like I still am like prepubescent. Like I know I'm 21, but whatever. Or almost 21. But I've been really trying to grow like in the public eye in a way because I can't –
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
You're like, I actually cannot comprehend this number of people. I can't comprehend the fact that all of a sudden now I'm making money. I can't comprehend
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
whoa like half a million people just watched that video yeah it feels it's like a different metric in your brain yeah like it's like you're looking at it in a different you're not looking at it as real people but you're also not looking at it as just a number there's this like weird in-between way that your brain processes it yeah but it's it's kind of i think i knew subconsciously that if i
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
looked into it too deeply and I thought about it too deeply that I'd psych myself out fuck myself over and ruin the whole thing so I was like I'm not gonna think I'm just gonna just tunnel vision keep going and like I did that up until probably the last three months when and it has been really uncomfortable when when you really like wake up and realize like oh shit this is the situation and
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It's like I finally turned off my tunnel vision and it felt like everything was like that had been building for four years was now right in front of me and I had never looked at it. You know what I mean.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So the summer of sophomore year, I started my YouTube channel because I was depressed and I was like, my dad was like, you need a hobby. I said, OK. So I started my channel. And by the end of the summer, you know, I was making money.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
and I was like and I've never made money you know and I was like oh shit okay this is actually pretty serious you know and I was loving it and people at school were like respecting me because I had they weren't being an asshole anymore some people still were but you know people were like excited for me and I was excited and junior year I was like okay I this is the year I take hard classes so I was taking like three AP classes and
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And long story short, it just was so I couldn't do schoolwork and YouTube. But I was like, obviously, schoolwork is more important. So I was like, OK, I'll just drop some of my classes and take easier classes. But then YouTube kept building and I was like. I already took all the... I'm just taking added shit to help me for college.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And I started questioning, okay, am I even going to go to college anyway? Now that this YouTube thing is going the way that it is, I'm making an income now. I can support myself now. All of a sudden, by the end of the summer, I was like, I actually could support myself. I don't... It changed everything.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And I was like, I don't think I need to be working this hard because I don't think I'm actually going to college anymore. I might try to... ride this out and then when this doesn't work out anymore then I can go to college even if I'm like 30 like who gives a fuck you know and so I
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
took one of those standardized tests and just left school like I kept basically dropping classes more and more until it got to a point where I was like I just don't need to be here because I'm not I'm number one I'm not learning anything that is necessary it was all stuff that was only really necessary for college I had already taken all of the classes that I needed to that were like normal high school level I was just doing added shit what's the point of that I was like this is stupid so
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I was out of there. How did you tell your parents and how did they react? Honestly, it was kind of their idea. It was kind of like... It was not just my idea. It wasn't like, mom and dad, I want to leave school. They were like, you're so miserable in school. You know... Well, actually, at first we were thinking about homeschooling me. Interesting. So actually, that was the first idea.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
stay a teenager in everybody's mind forever. But I think I needed to do some of that work on my own before I came on here and was like, let's talk about big girl stuff. You're like, so the Glock Glock? And I'm like, Emma. So the first time I tried the Glock Glock was a year ago. And you guys won't believe what happened.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
They were like, you... This structure is not working, right? And so we toyed around with the idea of homeschooling me. But then after doing more research, we were like, okay, actually, let's just cut it. Cut it. Because I know that I don't recommend people drop out of school.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And I think that my situation was very unique because I was fortunate enough to get all of my general high school education out of the way in the first two years. Right. And that's a really like, again, like it would have been irresponsible to leave if that had not been completed. And I and I always I actually have never said that out loud, I don't think.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
But I know it's kind of fun to be reckless and be like, I dropped out of school like fucked it. But it was it wasn't this super irrational, super irresponsible. I could have gone straight to college from that point that I was at. Got it. You know, so like I didn't need to.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
it wasn't fucking me over I completed my high school credits like I was done you know what I'm saying so how did your friends react when you told them like were you close with a lot of people in high school did you have a lot of friends the first uh year and a half of high school yes but towards the end no I only really had one friend and even and she like knew everything about
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like she knew about how school was like affecting me negatively and how I just was depressed. So like I couldn't be social, you know, and I couldn't deal with the ebbs and flows of friendship. I just didn't have that in my head.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
in me and so she understood that and she was kind of kept up to date on like how things were evolving but she you know she was like she had other friends like she was so she was just like peace you know everybody was just kind of like peace I really just disappeared one day honestly if you could change one thing about that time in your life what would it be nothing
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I really you know I have a lot of moments in my life that I look back at and cringe at and I have a lot of moments that I regret like for sure and not regret that's actually completely the wrong word I have a lot of moments that I'm like damn I would do that so differently now but I refuse to ever even think about how I would change things because I Every bad experience has just made me me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I think the thing that I sometimes get a little bit upset about is how quickly I had to grow up. And it sounds so... Again, like just so like, Emma, shut the fuck up. But I don't think I realized when I left school and immediately started working how there's no leeway for me anymore. You know what I mean? There was no room. for being a kid anymore.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It was like, okay, no, you have to get your fucking act together because you're saying that you can make a living on your own and that you're gonna make this shit work and that you're gonna make it last and that moving to LA is a good idea and that being friends with other YouTubers is a good idea and having to do your own laundry and do your own dishes and cook for yourself and taxes.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
There's so many facets of it that you're like, oh shit, I didn't realize that this came with this. By quitting school and by just going straight into being technically self-employed, I was also saying that I could handle all those other things. My parents were very helpful with the technical stuff, but emotionally...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I would say at first, not much changed. It was really interesting because yes, I had a following on the internet that if you look at it, you know, like 100,000 subscribers, that's a fuck ton of subscribers, right? But in the grand scheme of the world, people didn't really, they're like, eh, we'll see you at a million. Like, you know, this is, whatever.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
My family was very skeptical, like my outer family. They were kind of like, what is going on? You know, and so they didn't treat me any different, but they were definitely just like curious. A lot of people were really curious, but I didn't really have any friends. So I didn't have any friends reacting to like what was happening to me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Yes, but I really wanted once I started to you know turn YouTube into my job I Started to feel like I couldn't really relate to kids in my high school as well and so I was like, you know, I would still hang out with those kids and
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
we would have fun and like that was fine but there was a disconnect and so I started looking to find people that were in this space that could be friends with me and I ended up finding those friends and that was really awesome so like and we didn't live near each other but I made quite a bit
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
of friends on the internet that were doing the same thing and it was nice because there was a mutual understanding and also there was no weirdness there was no questions about it there was just like a unspoken understanding that was very special at the time there's always the moment when you start getting recognized in public yeah
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So I go to Maine every summer with my family on vacation. And I had like 6,000 subscribers when I went the summer of sophomore year. Like 6,000 subscribers, OK? Which to me was like, oh my god.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
fuck all y'all i'm popping off i'm popping off y'all don't know me anymore i'm different now no but um so i'm i'm on vacation in maine and this girl comes up to me and like asks me for a photo now i had 6 000 subscribers i thought that this was a real interaction my grandma set that up no
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I'm already getting a big fucking head, grandma. Do not play with me like this. Holy shit. No, but it was sweet. It was sweet. That's actually so cute. It was hilarious.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
At first, I've actually gone through phases with it. In the very beginning, I was stoked. And I was like, this is so awesome. My dream was coming true, right? It was so fucking cool. And then, you know, I've gone through ebbs and flows where it's made me a little anxious. Because if I'm not in a good spot, I'll get anxious about not being in a good spot mentally. And I'm like, is this showing?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like, I don't want... I started getting anxiety about giving these people the best experience they could possibly have meeting me. And then that kind of got into my head. But I didn't have that thought in the very beginning. So that came into play later.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I don't feel that I am. And I think that. Really? I mean, I've gone through the ringer. Really? In what way? Well, so there is like there's been chunks of time throughout my experience on the Internet where I've been like widely disliked. You know, whether people thought I was annoying or people like or.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So I grew up in San Bruno, California, which is actually where YouTube headquarters is, which is ironic, a little bit of foreshadowing. I grew up with my parents. I was an only child. And when I was five, we're like already getting into my drama. No, when I was five, my parents got divorced and my mom moved like 20 minutes away from my dad.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like it's interesting like there's just been periods of time when people have just not liked me and the general conversation around me has been negative. The thing that's really interesting about it is that I noticed this just from talking to other people in this space. A lot of people. They're so hyper focused on themselves as they should be. We're human. Right.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So like I perceive you and I'm like, you're nobody fucking hates you. Right. But see you because I'm not seeing people giving you shit. Right. Whereas like you're not seeing people give me shit. Everybody gets shit. And so everybody, their own perception of their own career and like general likeness
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
is not right right it's skewed in a in a negative direction for everybody individually i look at any other personality on the internet and unless they're like genuinely yeah just a bad fucking person and everyone knows it unless that's what's going on generally like i nobody is going to see it except for you.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I mean, I would say that like when I was a lot younger, I edited in like a really like fast paced, like a kind of, you know, flashy way. And it was kind of like and I thought it was like funny and annoying. And that's why I liked it. I was like, I think this is just like funny and entertaining. And like, it's not serious, like whatever.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
But some people just found that annoying and were like, why the fuck do people want to watch this? Which I totally get because that's not everybody was going to like the style editing and my personality. I was a loud kid. I was a, you know, outgoing kid and people just thought I was annoying. So that was like one thing.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
But then also I think a big part of it was just like when you become successful, people just are going to nitpick just about anything.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And so and I understood that. I was like, I get it. Like I'm. You know, I'm a target and I understand that. And I think some of it might have been from jealousy and some of it just might have been from like people just simply not enjoying me. And like, that's fair, but it doesn't make it not hurt. You know, I can't blame people. I get the culture of the Internet. But it still sucks.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It's always that way. Yeah. You think you can and you might have a good moment where you're like oh this shit doesn't bother me but it always comes back. Is there anything that made you almost quit? I will say there has been a lot of times. Where I've almost quit.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Yes, I have had sex, Alex. There's a lot of room to get fucked over when you're being friends with people in your industry. And that's something that I really struggled with. This person's like profiting off of...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
me in some way i don't think that they actually care about me and these like youtubers who are maybe more established they i think that they knew that they could kind of push you around push me around a little bit not only on camera but off like you are using me i can tell fuck you
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And that was actually not a super bad experience because I was so young that I just didn't really know any better. I was definitely a really bored kid because I was an only child and like my parents were both like fully working parents. And so I had a lot of time by myself and I was very bored a lot of the time, which I think is... good.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
If I went and addressed every fucking rumor, every fake blah, blah, blah, blah, blah about me, that would be actually my full-time job. I just feel so out of control of the public perception of me. I remember my ex-boyfriend, one of his friends was like, dude, she doesn't actually like you. I don't think she actually likes you. I think she likes girls.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
In retrospect, I think it was good because it made me a lot more curious, I would say, because I didn't have a lot of distractions. You know, it's the Silicon Valley. It's a big tech area and a lot of kids there are super smart. And there's this
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Yeah. Why are you here? Okay, well, number one, Alex.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
crazy pressure to go to a really good college especially Stanford is like you know the big school there that everybody tries to go to and there's also a lot of wealthy families too and like so a lot of people assume that if you live there you're wealthy but that was not the case for me and my family at all but a lot of people there are very wealthy there's like a very big gap I would say between it's like very very very wealthy and then like very like lower middle class and like not
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
definitely an in-between for sure but not as much an in-between it felt like there was a very stark difference but I I've you know my dad's an artist so like I felt more on the you know lower middle class side of it which was tough but did you feel like your family didn't fit in For sure. We're living in a one-bedroom apartment, and all my friends at school are living in these massive mansions.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I'm a big fan. Like I've been a big fan of you forever. I don't know how, like I wish I knew my discovery story of you.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It was tough socially, I would say. I didn't want to have people over, that's for sure.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So we'll start with my dad. My dad is very... open-minded and creative, but also very wise. Dad, this boy's the love of my life. And he's like, Emma, that's the worst dude I've ever met. You're like, really? I'm like, Dad, what the fuck? He's incredible, Dad. I'm like, but he's so hot, Dad. What are you talking about?
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
No, but he's very open-minded and very sweet and very creative and not super controlling or super... pushy or anything like that but he also is opinionated because he has a lot of knowledge and wisdom about things so he's not sweet and creative in the way that makes him a pushover. He'll tell me what he thinks. But he also gives me the freedom to make the mistakes. And he's always done that.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And he never judges me. But a very, very cool man. The coolest person I know. I mean, he paints paintings and surfs every day. And that's his job, is painting paintings and selling them. And started making YouTube videos before I did. He's very cool, right? My mom is... How do I describe my mom? She's like one of the girls. You know what I mean? She's very... It's lovable. I tell her everything.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
honestly you're like don't don't drag me like that I did let me tell you like I I found you when things were very sexual yeah and I learned a lot wow yeah that makes me so happy yeah so like that's how I found you I think I I was really just like looking for advice on how to be crazy but then like in turn I fell in love with you oh my god so we're just this is a big love fest it's such a love story how we're in love with each other I know
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like, everything. And I have no hesitation. Like, she knows everything I've ever done in my whole life. Got it. So I'm very, very close with her. But we're more like sisters, I would say. Like, you know, we used to butt heads a lot when I was growing up. And, you know, because she's picky. She's very, like, likes to keep the house clean and, like, set things folded a certain way.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And she's very particular about things like that. Very meticulous woman. about everything that she does, which is a very admirable quality. But when you're growing up and you don't know how to fold a blanket properly, it can cause some problems. Absolutely. But no, at the end of the day, we're very close. And even when we do fight literal sisters, she's always there.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I'm really lucky that my parents have always been very... Not like traditional parents. Like they're very sibling like. OK. And I think it's because they didn't even consider themselves to be the type to be parents ever. And so they had me because they wanted to. But they were like, we don't fit the parent mold. So we're just going to do it in our own way. And it's been great.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Well, you know, I think in one way, and this is no one's fault, right? Like, I'm grateful for their divorce. And I'll say that before I, like, go in and, you know. It was, number one, what was best for them and for their happiness. Number two, like, I never saw them fight. I never saw them argue. They divorced before it could ever become traumatizing in that way for me. And that's really mature.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And also they're still friends and they talk all the time. I mean, I'm really lucky in that way too. Like they get along great. Like they talk all the time and, and. They're so supportive of one another. So it's not been a negative thing in that way. But I will say that for one, not having a relationship to look up to when you're growing up.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
does become a little bit jarring when you're older and you're like, okay, I'm in my first relationship. What is this supposed to look like? I don't know. I've never seen it. Did you wish you had had siblings? You know, no, because again, like my relationship with my parents was so close because it wasn't, there was nothing in the way of it. Right. Like,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Each parent was not in the way of my relationship with the other parent. And also I didn't have a sibling in the way of my relationship with my parents. And listen, I think it could have been really fun to have a sibling. I don't know. I'll never know. Right. But I liked the friendship I was able to develop with my parents in the closeness.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
And I don't think I would have had that if I had a sibling.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I had two older cousins. Well, I have two older cousins. They're three years older than me. And they were like my idols, you know, growing up. And they got Snapchat. And they're like, Emma, babe, it's time to download Snapchat on the iPod Touch. And I was like, you got it, girls. Let's go. And so I downloaded Snapchat. And, you know, we would just send each other silly stuff back and forth.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Pretty soon after that, Instagram came out and I was like, all right, here we go. So I downloaded that, too. I think my cousins told me to download that, too. And my first post was a picture of a mini bag of Cheez-Its with like some crazy ass filter on top of it. And I think my caption was something like crunchy, yum.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
So weird. Like I would, I would do anything to be able to find my old Instagram. I don't know if I would. No, I would.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Honestly, they didn't care. Okay. Like really... Just never brought it up. Like, they didn't care.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I was a really good kid. I had... Because of my anxiety as a kid, I think I had a really strong conscience. Which is good. You know what I mean? I never... did anything bad without my parents finding out about it 24 hours later. Got it. So they knew that I would tell them like if I did something wrong, my conscience would force me to report it back to them. Got it.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I don't know what that stems from. I don't know why that is, but. I was very transparent with them. And so when it came to things like social media, they were like, she's not, she's not, she's just not a bad kid. Like she's just not going to do bad shit on there. And, and I did it because I just didn't even know how to do bad stuff. I'm like, I like didn't know what bad stuff was. Right.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Um, I did have a kick that just reminded me. I had a kick that I used for, um,
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
like just kids at school messaging kids at school I forgot and then I would get like dick pics and kick and then I got super scared like so was that the first time you saw a penis yeah terrifying oh I was so fucking great I was like I don't actually think I am sexually attracted to anything you're like I do I do not know what I like but I don't like that I don't like that and so like who
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
I was scared of penises until probably like I was 16. OK. Like seriously like I was like I'm not scared of them but I was like that is such a for like it was so alien to me. Yeah. Cause I didn't have siblings. So it's not like I had a little brother where like, I like saw him growing up and like, I saw a boy like exist. I didn't have a lot of guy friends.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Like, so to me, like a penis, I was like, I, I can't, I don't know what that is. I get scared me.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
Well, I have to give a few from the years. Give it. Okay.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
my first youtube obsession was fred do you remember fred oh my iconic iconic i completely forgot about that well i like got on youtube super young too because like you know my dad was into youtube he was posting singing covers on youtube when it first came out and so he found out about it and was like emma this is great and we didn't have cable so he's like here you go little one you know you don't get cable but you do get this babe enjoy it's a pretty good trade
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
No, it was great. I loved it. So I got super into YouTube super young. Loved Fred. Then as I grew a little bit older, it was Jonas Brothers for me in Hannah Montana.
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
It kind of teetered between Nick and Joe. Sorry, Kevin. Honestly, Kevin's... Kevin's coming back. No, Kevin, he's a fucking angel. He deserved...
Call Her Daddy
Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)
devastated and everyone was obsessed and it was like we were like we will do anything to save him anything like it was so dramatic no i know okay so you had jonas brothers you liked miley i loved hannah montana miley all of that um okay i have to bring this up because it's so fucking funny okay um but like when i was like 12 13 and vine came out i was a huge mad con girl Okay. That's okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
In the last episode, we discussed how sometimes I can be a little bit of a hater, okay? And I say a little bit of a hater because unlike most haters, I don't seem like a hater. I don't spread hatred. I don't put people down. In fact, I tend to do the complete opposite. I'm very supportive and kind and nonjudgmental and loving. To the naked eye, I'm a bundle of love.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I hate neon colors. I just hate them. I think that they're hideous. Like there's not much to say about it, right? I just don't like neon colors. I think that 99 out of a hundred times neon colors are hideous and I don't want to look at them. Like clothes, cars, like plants. Like, I'm never gonna choose an item that's neon. I'm always going to choose the non-neon option, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
If I'm buying clothes, I'm almost never gonna buy something that's neon. Probably never. I have nothing in my closet right now that's neon. If I'm picking out the color for a car, let's say I wanted to get something weird, right? Like, let's say I was going to go get my car wrapped, full LA style, like get a wrap. I'm never going to choose a neon color.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Okay, if I'm landscaping my garden, I'm never going to choose flowers that bloom neon. I hate neon. However, there is one occasion when I think neon colors are unmatched, and that is in highlighter pens. Can you imagine if highlighter pens weren't neon? It would just be wrong. It wouldn't highlight. It wouldn't serve a purpose.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
When it comes to highlighting things on a page, there is nothing better for that than a neon color. I feel like my slight affection for neon colors in this application, okay, in pen form on paper, my affection for the highlighter pen comes from when I was in high school. And sometimes for tests, we'd be able to make a little note card that had like, I don't know, let's say it was a math test.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
We were allowed to write down like formulas or notes that would help us on the test, but they had to fit on a tiny little note card. So you only had that space. And I would spend literally hours and hours and hours writing teeny tiny little notes so that I could fit every single note that I made the entire test. semester onto that little tiny note card.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And again, like it could be much worse, right? There are people who are haters, chronic haters who spread hate. and who have a negative impact on the world. And I really don't think that I am that. I think I'm really good at controlling it and keeping it contained. You know, my hater only really comes out within the privacy of my own mind and my closest friends and family.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And in order to clarify when a note started and ended or whatever, in order to help make the little note card more readable, of course, I had to use a highlighter pen. And it absolutely made the little study card 10 times more readable and effective. And I don't know, I just, I loved having highlighters at school. I would go through them very quickly. I loved them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So maybe I don't hate neon colors after all. Next, I have a tendency to hate people who have rejected me. And I know that's normal. Being rejected doesn't feel good. And I think it stings the most, not because this person is no longer going to be in our lives anymore because they've rejected us, but because them rejecting us proves our suspicion about ourselves that we suck. And that sucks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Do you know what I mean? Like that's, I think what the worst part about rejection is. And so if you're in a place in your life where you kind of hate yourself and then someone rejects you and confirms that suspicion, it's hard not to hate that person because that's a very negative experience. And so when I'm at a low point and I'm in hater mode, I really hate people who reject me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But you know what? There are some beautiful things that come from being rejected. Number one, sometimes someone rejecting you removes someone from your life that wasn't really supposed to be in your life anyway. You don't want people in your life who don't want to be in your life. So if someone rejects you and then exits your life, they kind of did you a favor in a way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And now you can focus your energy on finding people who do want to be in your life. And that's a positive thing. I also think sometimes rejection can force you to analyze yourself, your shortcomings, and ultimately grow as a result. I think that's beautiful. I think that's beautiful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And you know, in retrospect, when I look at all the times I've been rejected in one way or another, I have no sort of regrets. Not that it was up to me. Usually we regret our own choices, but in a way you can sort of regret being rejected because you can regret maybe what you did to get rejected or you can regret not working harder to prevent getting rejected. I don't feel that at all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
There is not one instance in my life where I've been rejected and it hasn't ended up being exactly what was supposed to happen. Like it always sort of seems meant to be, at least in my experience. Maybe I'm lucky, but yeah. So I don't need to hate those who have rejected me. Even though, you know, it was a bit maybe of a hit to the ego, I think it all is actually ultimately positive in the end.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Next, I hate loud, persistent noises, okay? When I'm cooking in the kitchen and I have to turn the fan on because whatever I'm cooking is like creating a lot of smoke or whatever. Probably because I'm burning it. Probably because I'm not that good of a cook. I'm actually I'm not that bad, but I'm not that good either. You know, the sound of the kitchen fan being on. Wow. Wow.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I fucking hate that when you're on the airplane and it's super loud on the airplane. It's like making that rumbling sound, you know, loud, persistent noises. I absolutely hate that. But you know what? When I reflect on all of the times that I have to hear loud, persistent noises, it's always worth it. With the kitchen fan, I enjoy cooking. I really love cooking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I don't like smoking up my kitchen and breathing in all the cooking fumes. And once I'm done cooking, I can turn it off. It's kind of loud and chaotic for a bit while it's on. But then... When it's time to eat, it's off and the food is delicious and everything is good. And I ultimately was happy to have cooked myself a meal. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
When I'm on the airplane, it's loud, it's persistent, but it's a privilege and a joy to travel. And I'm always grateful to do that, which actually leads me to the next thing I hate, which is flying on planes. I totally developed a fear of flying and it has truly caused me to form a hatred for air travel. I hate everything about the experience. I'm so scared.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You know, I keep it really close to the chest. So me being a hater isn't, like, a worldly problem, okay? I'm not hurting people. I mean, maybe occasionally something gets out. Like, I don't know. But, like, for the most part, it's really just something that impacts me. I am the one who is ultimately being harmed by this. In the moment, it feels fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Every little bit of turbulence, every little sound that the plane makes, everything causes me immense anxiety and I just fucking hate the experience. I hate the loud, you know, the loud noises. I hate, oh, I just, there's not really anything I like about it. I don't like watching movies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So like, you know, a lot of people are like, oh, well, I love flying on a plane because it's the time when I get to catch up on movies. I hate movies. There's nothing about it that I like. The food sucks. There's nothing about it that I like. Even if I was a billionaire, okay, and I could afford to fly on a private jet, I would hate that too. I really hate flying on planes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But also, it is a privilege and a joy to travel. I do absolutely love traveling. I'm kind of not in a phase right now where I'm enjoying traveling. I haven't traveled in a few months. For a while there, I was traveling on like a monthly basis, constantly on a plane.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I needed a break psychologically because of my fear of flying and my hatred of flying, but also just, I don't know, like it's hard on the body. And so I just kind of decided to take the last few months off of traveling and I'm absolutely loving it. But traveling is ultimately an incredible thing and I'm grateful to be able to do it. I just mentioned that I hate movies. So let's discuss that next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I have always had a really hard time sitting down and watching a movie. I think mainly because there's a lot of risk in it for me. There's a risk of turning it on and absolutely hating it, but then feeling like, maybe it'll get better. I should stick it out till the end. And there's a risk that it never gets better. And I just wasted two hours of my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So there's a risk that I might be wasting my time. I also don't love sitting down and watching something. I'd so much rather, during my waking hours, do something active. I'd rather go on a walk. And I already sit... a lot in my day-to-day life. I work sitting. I don't want to sit anymore. So seeing a movie is not appealing to me in that way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I also kind of feel afraid of the movie theater for some reason. There's something about it that really frightens me. I feel like I'm in this room with a bunch of strangers. It's dark. It feels dangerous to me. And I know that that's irrational, but that's another thing I sort of hate about movies, or at least the movie theater specifically. And just in general, I've always preferred nonfiction.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I love documentaries. I love YouTube. I love real stuff. That's just always what I've been drawn to. I just kind of hate movies, to be honest. But the funny thing about it is that I don't actually hate movies. I just tend to hate the idea of sitting down for a movie for a few hours. Like I dread it. I don't want to do it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
If I get invited to go see a movie with somebody, I'm like, oh my God, I need to come up with an excuse. But then when I actually allow myself to experience it, I always like it. But I hate the idea of it. The idea of it to me is like my nightmare. But it always ends up being great. And I end up seeing movies that I really like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I love, you know, listening to a new album that just came out, right? Like a musical artist drops an album. I love listening to it and fucking hating on it. There's something fun about that. Again, in private, but there's something fun about it. I love when someone slightly wrongs me and they just become my fucking enemy in private. This person is just now my enemy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And even if I see a movie that I hate, there's actually joy in that as well. Like there's something fun about it. In fact, it's fun because I get to hate on it. And we all know that that's something I like to do. I don't know. I always end up actually liking the movie. Like I always end up liking the experience. Okay, moving on. I hate thong underwear.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I absolutely hate a thong and I wore them for years. So don't tell me like, Emma, well, you just never got used to it. Like you get used to it. I got used to it. Okay. I wore a thong for many years and I got sick of it because it's truly uncomfortable. And it's also kind of disgusting. Like I don't need something up my asshole. I'm good on that. Like in all capacities.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I don't ever need something up my ass like that. Ever. It's just not my style. Okay? I hate the sensation. But also I find that like thongs are super, they do have a tendency to like really just like ride up and like get lodged in there in a way that to me, it's just like, it's so uncomfortable. And I feel like it's not healthy for your holes to be suffocated by a thong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Whereas like other underwears that are maybe a bit, they're not like a thong. So they don't really like, they don't as easily like get sucked up into your holes. Those feel healthier for the holes. I'm the queen of a seamless, like little boy short underwear, because again, I don't wear thongs anymore. I refuse.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Majority of the reason why we wear a thong is because, you know, I mean, I guess maybe some of us wear it because it's like hot and we're like feeling ourselves. But I think a lot of times it's because there's no underwear lines, right? I just got to a point where I was like, this is so uncomfortable. I can't do it anymore. I don't even care. I need to figure out something else.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
What's the alternative? This can't be the only underwear line list option. You know what? It kind of is. It kind of is. And that is what I will say about a thong. It absolutely serves a purpose. You know, if you don't want underwear lines at all, if you want it to be smooth, smooth, smooth on the butt, you got to wear a thong. It's the only option.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I have probably the best pair of seamless underwear on the market. I think I've tried so many. And even then, sometimes it'll get a little bit bunchy and you'll see the underwear lines, you know, like it's just it is what it is. And that's the risk that I take. But I have to put some respect on the thong. It's either a thong or no underwear. That's as close as you're going to get.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I've done both for multiple years at a time. Yes, I've done thong and commando. And I've actually brought that up in another episode recently, the fact that I was a commando gal for a while. And I'm just wondering why I keep bringing it up. No one really needs to know that, but I was.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And the truth is, is that, you know, pants and dresses and skirts and all this, it's so nice when you're wearing a thong. But my God, it's too uncomfortable for me and I'm never wearing them again. Moving on. I hate blush. I really don't like blush. I just, when it comes to makeup, it's one of those things that I just never really liked.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But more recently, I've grown to dislike it more because it's super trendy. I feel like it's been a huge makeup trend over the last few years to like wear a fuck ton of blush. Now, let me be clear. I am not saying I hate blush on other people. I don't give a fuck what makeup other people do. Like it really, that I don't hate. it on other people, but I hate it on me, hate it on me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But I guess that's the positive thing about it is that I don't hate it on other people. In fact, I think it can look quite beautiful on other people, but as it's becoming more popular, I'm more aware of how much I don't like it on myself because every time I see it on somebody else, I'm like, oof, I couldn't, I couldn't and I wouldn't. And so, you know, I'm just more aware of it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
There's something about that that I find fun. However, it's fully against privacy. my morals and values. Like, being a hater is fully against my morals and values. I do not think it's okay. I know it's bad. And it just happens to be something that I am particularly prone to. Which means I have to pay extra attention
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But yeah, you know what? It looks incredible on some people. And that's like awesome. I mentioned this earlier, but we're finally coming around to it. I absolutely hate delays, changes in plan, minor inconveniences that get in the way of getting something done. Like I absolutely hate these things. To me, I love efficiency.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I love writing down a schedule for the day and just getting every single thing done. I hate wasted time. There's nothing I hate more than wasted time. I'm so anal about time optimization that it's definitely toxic. It's definitely a flaw. But that leads me to hate Minor inconveniences, delays, changes of plans, you know, these things get in the way of my time optimization.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
They prevent productivity, all these things that I'm sort of obsessed with in a toxic way. And to me, you know, these things can be catastrophic. Like I have a tendency to, when I'm in a hateful mood, run into some sort of delay, change of plans, minor inconvenience, et cetera, and just fucking lose it. Like that is often the straw that breaks the camel's back for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
If I were to try to find the silver lining, number one, these things are never that big of a deal. I tend to overreact about them. The nature of these things, they're frustrating, maybe. They're, again, inconvenient, sure, but they're not a catastrophe. Also, sometimes, not to get spiritual, but sometimes these types of things happen to change our course and it ends up being meant to be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Sometimes we're just not meant to complete a task when we wanted to. Sometimes we're not meant to go to dinner with our friends that night. We're meant to do something else. Sometimes your tire will go flat because for some reason you weren't, supposed to leave for the road trip you were going to go on that day. Like sometimes this stuff just happens for a reason.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I think when we welcome minor inconveniences, delays, changes in plans, we're able to find that silver lining. We're able to be like, oh, you know what? Maybe this wasn't meant to be today. And I'm actually pretty good about that when I'm in a good state of mind. But when I'm in a hater state of mind, this type of shit really fucking sends me. It sends me. But you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It can be a beautiful thing. And it can just be meant to be. Moving on, I hate room temperature water, which sounds so fucking bratty. Like, I only like water with ice, but can I be honest? I really, really don't like the taste of room temperature water. It makes me nauseous. And I really, really love a crisp ice cold water. And I really, really don't like drinking water without ice in it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
To me, it's gross. And to me, I hate it. And one of my pet peeves is when I'm at a restaurant and they don't bring me ice with my water. And again, I know I sound like a brat. I sound like a total fucking brat, but that's just how I feel. But you know what?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I will say if you need to get water down the gullet fast, if you need to drink water fast, if you're dehydrated and you just want it, well, if you're dehydrated, you shouldn't drink water fast. I've done that before and like almost thrown up. But if you want to chug water for some reason, room temperature water, you can guzzle. Ice water, you have to sip. You do. And it sometimes hurts the teeth.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
to the side of my brain that can quickly fall into a hater sort of rhythm because I feel like our true colors and our weaknesses come out in challenging times, right? And so for me, when everything is good in my life, it's easy for me to not be a hater. I don't really have to check in on it I'm just not a hater.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It's hard to guzzle. I mean, it's delicious. In fact, it's like making me crave it. I have my Stanley cup over here. Let me just have a little sip of my water. Oh, it's absolutely ice cold. I'm actually drinking some sparkling water with some apple cider vinegar in it. It's so sour today. I really put a lot of vinegar in there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I feel like my teeth are just like corroding from every sip that I drink because of how much vinegar is in there. But I couldn't chug that if I tried. I mean, the vinegar and the carbonation doesn't help either, but it's so cold. You can really just chug room temperature water. And for that reason, I actually think that it's quite beautiful. Okay, next. I'm not trying to be petty here.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I'm not trying to pick a fight. I'm not a big fan of Starbucks. Okay, I'm not gonna say I hate Starbucks. Okay, that's a little bit extreme. Because I don't think I hate Starbucks. I did in the past, but I think more recently I've tried to change my mindset and I don't hate Starbucks anymore, but I don't love it, right? And I'm somebody who's really into coffee.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So, you know, understandably so, I'm critical of these massive coffee chains because I'm like, this is a product that I really love. I guess I'm just extra judgmental. Listen, here's why perhaps I dislike Starbucks. Okay. I think the plain coffee, right? Like getting like a classic latte with almond milk or getting like a classic matcha, you know, they're simple drinks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
They're classic espresso drinks that don't have a bunch of syrup and don't have a bunch of sugar and don't have a bunch of whipped cream and don't have a bunch of, you know, cookie crumble shavings. It's not great. It's not super high quality. You Do I blame them? Not necessarily. They're in mass. They're massive.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And when things are that large, when you scale your business to that size, understandably, the quality is just not going to be as good. You know what else I don't like about Starbucks? I don't like the decor, the aesthetic. I really, I don't love it. I feel like Starbucks used to have sort of a charming... kind of hipstery, cutesy sort of aesthetic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And it feels very corporate and very kind of beige to me. I don't know. I get it. Okay. I get it. Starbucks, I'm about to find something nice to say about you. So don't hurt me. Okay. Or my coffee company. Luckily for you guys, Starbucks, my coffee company is not a threat to you, okay? I'm not on your coattails, so y'all don't need to worry about me, all right? We have one cafe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
We're in grocery stores, but we're not impeding on your shelf space, so we're good. But you know what I fucking love about Starbucks? A few things, actually. I came up with a few things. Number one, the fucking egg white bites. I absolutely love and adore the Starbucks egg white bites. Okay. Egg white, red pepper. Yum. I've tried to make them at home. Could never even get close. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Want to know why? Because Starbucks does it right. And no one will ever compete. Whoever developed that recipe, I hope that they're fucking retired and living in the Bahamas now. Okay. They should never work another day in their life. People who create good things should then retire and live their life in peace. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So I really hope whoever developed the recipe for the Starbucks egg white bites, I really hope that you're relaxing and I hope that you're living in a house in the Bahamas and I hope that you don't have internet and I hope that you're disconnected and I hope that every day is a fucking joy for you because my God, you deserve it because you have done a public service. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But when some challenges arise, sometimes I start to become a little bit of a hater again. I'm constantly keeping this side of myself in check, right? And, you know, recently I discovered that I had fallen back into my hater mentality. I just have slowly but surely gotten back to a point where I just seem to hate everything.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Every time I'm in the middle of nowhere, which happens more than you'd expect. Okay. I'm on a road trip. I'm traveling. I'm at the airport. I'm, you know, whatever. I'm in the middle of like Los Angeles and I'm not familiar with the area and I have no... There's always a Starbucks and there's always egg white bites.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I know that whenever I'm hungry, I can find a fucking Starbucks and get the goddamn egg white bites and be full and have protein. I love the egg white bites and I love that I can get them whenever I want. They're always there. I get two orders. So that means four egg bites in total. And I get three sriracha packets and I eat my little egg whites with my little sriracha. It's just good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It's just good. When it comes to fast food in a pinch, that's what I'm gonna get. It feels healthy enough. I don't feel like shit after I eat it. It's just, it's great. Thank you, Starbucks. If you need help redesigning all of your cafes, just call me. Like I know that I also have a coffee company, but for the love of God, you know, I love this stuff. So give me a call.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
My rate is very expensive though. I'm just kidding. Okay. Moving on. I absolutely hate sitting in an appointment for a long time. There are so many different types of treatments that are popular these days. Hair, nails, eyelashes, eyebrows, waxing, laser, infinite appointments. And there's nothing I hate more than an appointment that is like four hours long.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And let me tell you, I find myself sitting in some long appointments, okay? Mainly for me personally, My hair and my nails.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Those are the two things that I love having done so much That i'm willing to sit through a really long appointment, but there's nothing I fucking hate more Okay sitting in a long appointment for some reason I always get gas In a long appointment i'm like sitting still and my stomach always ends up hurting After like hour three my stomach's just killing me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I like need to fart can't because i'm Stuck sitting and also there's people around um My tailbone and back always hurt during a long appointment. My legs are asleep. I get up. I'm like wobbling around. I always start to feel sick after sitting in a long appointment for a long time. It's just horrible. Like whenever I go to get my hair bleached, it takes so long. And it's just like exhausting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It's so exhausting. And I absolutely hate it. And same thing with getting nails done. Like I actually think it's fun to get like complex, you know, nails done. There's obviously like standard nail designs, like just getting like a classic nail done with like, you know, a simple color or you can do something more complex. You can get nail art. You could get like unique shapes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You could get, you know, your nail beds cleaned really well. And that sometimes adds like an hour or two. Like there's a lot of different things that you can add to your nail appointment that will add time. I would love to do those things. Like I'd love to like, you know, maybe get a more sort of complex sort of manicure in some way. I'm not like the biggest nail art girl.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I prefer more maybe subtle nail art, but like a little bit of it is kind of fun and I think can be timeless and cool and versatile, but it just takes too long. And I don't want to sit at the nail salon, you know, once a month for like four hours getting my nails done. Like I can't handle it. But the result, the result is so rewarding.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like in the case for me, I absolutely love having my nails done. I absolutely love having, you know, fun hair that I enjoy styling. And a lot of times that requires a long hair appointment. Like again, right now my hair is bleach blonde and very short. I have to go in once a month to get it rebleached, to get it cut short again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It's a very high maintenance hairstyle, but sometimes that's sort of the sacrifice you have to make, you know, a little bit of torture sitting in a chair for fucking four or five hours for the sake of self-expression, for the sake of, you know, self-care. And for the rest of the month, When my hair and nails are done, I feel a little bit more beautiful. I feel a little bit more cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And for me, being a hater doesn't necessarily mean hating on people all the time, right? I mean, there's definitely certain people that end up getting caught up in my phase of hatred, but it's like everything. It's not just big things or specific people. It's everything. I just become a hater. I see everything through a hateful lens, significant and insignificant.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I have a little bit more fun styling clothes because my hair and my nails match the outfit. You know what? In that way, it is worth it. And maybe I'll start getting more complex nails done. But... I don't know. Maybe not. Okay, moving on. I hate the talking stage of romantic relationships. You know, the phase when you're overthinking every single little thing that you say to the person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You're nervous every time you hang out with them. You're not really showing your full personality because you're too scared and you don't even know how. And they're not showing their full personality. And... it's a little bit tense and it's a little bit uncomfortable. Like you don't really know how to read the other person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So you're constantly like worried that maybe you did something wrong or that they like don't like you anymore. You don't know if they're taking it seriously. You don't know if they like want this to be something that lasts forever. long or short and it's just a mess, the talking stage. I fucking, no, I absolutely hate it. It's miserable for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I really don't like, like some people love it, like really find it exciting and fun and exhilarating and whatever, you know, like the physical chemistry is more explosive because it's new and exciting. I personally don't like it. Like there's nothing worse than when you've been talking to somebody a little bit and you've not had any like physical, you've not been sort of romantic with them yet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And you're like, oh my God, now there's all this buildup. Like when's it going to happen? And then you like start to get in your head and you're really nervous about it. And then it happens and it's either really good and you click really well, or it's like, ooh, that was actually not as great as I wanted it to be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And the whole thing is like so high stress and you can't get anything done in your life because you're focusing on this person. It's like all consuming. I hate it. You know, I do always sort of look back at it fondly. Like in the moment, I despise it. But when I look back, it's always one of the most like beautiful romantic times of a relationship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like when I look back at all of my exes, okay, every single one, the beginning was the most special. And then it got progressively less special. I don't know. Like when it comes to remembering my exes, the fondest memory I have with every single one is the beginning stage when it was new and it was exciting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I think the goal, at least for me, is to eventually be with somebody where the fondest memories go beyond that beginning stage that is sort of magical. But also, well, but horrible. It's actually horrible in the moment, but it is sort of magical. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. Yeah, that's my goal. My goal is to have good memories with somebody that happen after that phase.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like I don't want the sort of sweet memories to end, but that is sort of the positive silver lining of that uncomfortable time is that for whatever reason, it's a fond memory, even though in the moment it's so stressful, it's so overwhelming, it's so all consuming, it's like exhausting, but it is kind of a sweet memory. Next, I just absolutely hate itchy wool sweaters.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I cannot stand the feeling of itchy clothing. I mean, I guess I could just say itchy clothing in general, but especially itchy like wool sweaters. The feeling of itchy wool, it's actually shocking to me that they even make clothing that's itchy. anymore. Like it makes sense to me that like, I don't know, a hundred years ago, there wasn't as many options and like clothes were just itchy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But in private, I can be a little bit of a hater, okay? And I've always sort of been that way. Like I've always found weirdly a sense of joy in novelty in hating on things. I've always sort of loved gossip. Like there's just something about me that enjoys hatred. It kind of reminds me of my relationship to nicotine. For whatever reason, I just like nicotine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You know, that was just sort of the way it was. Have we not evolved past that point? Okay. I have wool sweaters that are not itchy. I know it's possible. In fact, I'm wearing a beanie right now as I'm recording this. Um, cause it's a little chilly in my house.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So I'm wearing a little beanie cause it feels kind of warm and good, but I've been wearing the beanie for a few hours and it's getting so itchy on my head and I want to take it off, but my hair is going to look terrible and I'm just, I don't want to, but my head is just, I'm itching. Oh my God. My head is itchy. Ouch. Oh my God, my head is absolutely itchy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Yeah, I hate the itch, but I will say though, I don't know why this is. Itchy sweaters are always the cutest. Itchy beanies are always the cutest. Like, you know, the chunkiest, cutest, most like luxurious looking knit. is always the itchiest. I don't know why it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I can't tell you how many times I've been shopping in store and just like looking around, looking around, looking around, and I see a beautiful sweater. I'm like, wow, that is the most beautiful sweater I've ever seen. It has like this incredible texture. It has little things poking out of it, like little pieces of fabric. Like it just is so beautiful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
So I had an idea, an idea to help retrain my brain, hopefully. Is it going to work? I don't know. But here's my idea. Maybe I could find some value in doing a little exercise every once in a while.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Everything about it, texture, color, blah, blah, blah. It looks luxurious. It looks, you know, high quality. I walk up, too itchy, too itchy. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a scarf and I'm like, oh my goodness, this scarf. I mean, this is just an incredible scarf. It's the most incredible I've ever seen. The bright color, the dynamic texture. Let me try that thing on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Try it on too, Itchy. Can't do it. I feel like my sweater collection would be so top-notch if I wasn't as uncomfortable in an itchy sweater. Now, it's one thing to have a physical aversion to something. I hate how itchy wool sweaters feel. I think a lot of people probably do. that's fair, right? That's like a fair, rational thing to not like. But I think for me, it's sort of irrational.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I hate itchy sweaters. And I think what makes me hate itchy wool sweaters is the fact that every single time I see a sweater that I really like, I go up and I touch it and there's a 99% chance that it's going to be itchy and unwearable. And that's just such a shame to me and makes me wonder, like, how have we not figured out a way to eliminate the itch permanently?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Why are we still selling clothing that's itchy? I hate that. That is something that I hate. It makes me angry. But again, you know what? They are beautiful garments and the silver lining is that other people wear them. who don't mind the itch and I can enjoy it on them. I'll enjoy them on other people. Moving on, I hate when people aren't self-sufficient. Like, what's a good example?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like, let's say your friend's car breaks down and they call you and they're like, hey dude, like my car broke down. Like, what do I do? It's like, I don't know, Google it. You don't need to call me and ask me what to do. You can Google it. Or let's say you're really good at something or really into something. Let's say I'm really into skincare, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And then one of my friends is like, oh my God, I've been really wanting to get into skincare. What products do you use? And you're like, oh yeah, fuck yeah. Let me send you all these products. So you send all the links and then You know, they're like, oh, well, how do I use them? And then you explain. And then like a week later, they're like, oh, wait, I've been thinking about this product.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And they send a photo of it. They're like, do you know anything about this one? You're like, no. And then they're like, oh, well, can you let me know if it's any good? OK, at that point, you need to just start doing your own research. Do you get what I'm saying? Like there's certain people who they're just their personality is they just don't do things on their own.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
A little exercise that consists of finding things that I hate unfairly, unnecessarily, irrationally, and then finding something nice to say about that thing in an attempt to sort of help to retrain my thought patterns. Is it going to work? Maybe, maybe not. But I thought it'd be a fun activity.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
They don't like I am very sparing about when I ask people for advice or for help. I wait until it's kind of an emergency or like this person. I've Googled it. I've tried to use my resources. I really just need help from a person. And then I go and I get help. But there's certain people that just want everyone else to help them through the world.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And that is something that I hate because, you know, I try to be sparing and intentional about how I use other people's time. And I would hope that people would do the same for me. And so when they are not self-sufficient and just start like realize, oh, this person like, you know, knows how to figure shit out. Like I'm just going to start going to this person. And it's like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
No, I'm self-sufficient because I just know how to fucking Google something or like I'll watch a tutorial. I'll figure something out, you know? And I'm not even the most self-sufficient person. Like there are people in my life who are way more self-sufficient than me, but like I'm self-sufficient enough to, and self-aware enough where, like, I don't abuse it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And there's just certain people who do, and that's something that really bothers me. However, number one, these people aren't bad people, okay? So let's be loving, Emma. Let's be loving. These people aren't bad people, okay? They're not trying to be inconsiderate. They're not evil. Just for whatever reason, they're not self-sufficient, okay? Everyone has flaws.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I have shortcomings, and so I should be accepting of others, okay? Because this is not the worst possible trait that someone could have. This isn't that harmful. You know what I mean? So that's sort of, you know, maybe something nice to say. What else? You know, helping people feels good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Maybe another silver lining is that people who are not self-sufficient need help and helping people feels good. Maybe? I don't know. OK, next. I really hate loud cars. I hate when people drive through the street and they just absolutely with their car. And it happens all the time in Los Angeles. And it's often so loud and startling that like I will jump and I fucking hate it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
OK, I just think it's obnoxious. I think it's unnecessary and I don't get it. But you know what? I'd like to believe that when the car makes the loud sound like that, it does make the driver of the car happy. If, you know what, I'm going to choose to believe that it brings the driver so much joy that their day is made every time they with the car really loud.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
If it brings somebody else joy, then I'll try to find joy in that myself. Okay. Yeah. Maybe moving forward, when I hear that sound, I can say, you know what, the person driving that car is is having fun. Yeah, that feels nice. I think that's something nice. That's nice. Moving on, I hate high heels. I do think that there's something wrong with the anatomy of my foot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I think my arch is too high on my foot. I physically can't wear high heels without being unable to walk within an hour. Blisters, back pain, foot pain. So listen, do I kind of hate high heels for a rational reason? Yes. But like I even like see other people wearing them and I'm like, oh my God, why are you wearing those? Like it's so uncomfortable. Like take those off. What are we doing?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You're out to dinner. Take them off. Why are you hurting yourself? Like I like hate them because I've experienced so much pain from them that now I just hate them every time I see them. Whereas with blush, right? Like I see blush on other people and I'm like, you do you. But I see high heels on other people and I'm like, why are we doing this? What if we all collectively took them off?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Now, listen, I feel like this activity only really works or makes sense when trying to find the positive in something that truly does not deserve to be hated. Because there are certain things that actually deserve to be hated, right? Like violence, injustice, hypocrisy. You know what I mean? Like there are things that do deserve to be hated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You know, they're so uncomfortable. They also are kind of choogy, but like I kind of think a high heel is a little bit choogy. Like a fucking stiletto, to me, it's a little choogy. It feels kind of like, I don't know, there's something about it that's a little choogy to me. Like a little kitten heel, cute, you know? Like, I don't know, like a full-on heel, there's something about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It just makes me cringe a little bit. Like from an aesthetic standpoint, I don't think it really looks that, like the shoe itself is kind of, It's hard to style it in a way that is, to me, not choogy. Have I done it? Absolutely. But do you want to know why I've done it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Because the one high heel silver lining that I can think of is that sometimes it's just what an outfit needs to make the leg look good. A high heel can really change the entire silhouette of an entire outfit. So it does serve a purpose sometimes, but I do ultimately hate them. And my stylist, Jared, knows every time he puts me in a high heel that I'm going to complain about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Every single little red carpet event I go to, the heel gets a little bit shorter because he's like, I just can't hear Emma complain anymore. Okay, let's move on. Okay, this is going to be controversial and I just can't wait for somebody to cancel me for this or something. But I have a hard time See, I'm being so gentle and like media trained.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I have a really hard time with when certain people copy me. Now, I don't care about being copied for the most part, especially because I'm on the internet. And if somebody sees something that I do and is like, oh, I want to do that, and they're a consumer of my content, I'm like, that's great. Copy me all you want. But there are certain times when I hate when people copy me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I'm going to be honest, okay? I'm not saying it's right. I'm not saying that this is morally fair, but I'm just being honest that this is something that I hate. I hate when perhaps a peer copies me. I can have a really hard time with that. I also have a hard time with when a friend copies copies me a lot. Like it's one thing, listen, I copy my friends. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
When you're around somebody enough, you just start to absorb their personality traits. It's inevitable. But there's a difference between that and like intentional copying to a point where it's like, oh my God, I don't have anything of my own anymore. There's nothing that's just mine left because I'm being copied so much. Um, and I know it, I know it sounds petty and rude and like whatever, but
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I've always kind of had a hard time with it. And I think it's because I feel like it's detracting from me. Like if I do something that feels like a personal expression of myself and then someone else who's sort of close to me or is maybe even a peer who's maybe like in the same sort of space as me career wise or whatever, like copies me directly. I'm like, Come on, man.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like, let's all we can all kind of do something similar. But like, let's all kind of do our own thing. Because to me, I feel like threatens my feeling of individuality. And which again, is that like, is that wrong? Maybe. But it's something that I've always hated. It's
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I think too, there's part of me that's like, oh my God, if somebody gets praise for something that they like directly ripped from me, that kind of bums me out. But then that's also, it's like, Emma, you don't need any more praise. You fucking like narcissistic freak, like chill out. Listen, I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's the way it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I'm not going to try to find the positive in those things today. I think it's valid and rational to hate those things. I'm talking about the things that I hate that it's a waste of my energy to hate these things. I don't know. This might be pointless, okay? We'll see. We'll see at the end of this if it had a positive impact on my brain or not. And if it had a positive impact...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I don't like being copied by certain people. There are certain people that trigger me when they copy me. Okay. However, this is actually really a sweet thing, and I should be a bit more graceful, okay? Number one, it's the highest form of flattery when somebody copies you. Highest form of flattery. They must love it. Right. It's a compliment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It doesn't feel like a compliment because I sort of feel like, oh, my God, I've been ripped off. But it ultimately is a compliment. But also the truth is no one can really fully copy anyone else unless you like fully like let's say you are an artist and you painted a painting and then somebody literally screenshots it and starts selling prints of it. Like that's different.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But copying in the way that I'm saying, like making a podcast episode with this exact same title and basically making the exact same episode, but maybe there's a few differences, but it's pretty much exactly the same. That person's rendition is always going to be a little bit different.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Let's say I start wearing a lot of black and white stripes, and then one of my friends starts wearing a lot of black and white stripes, and then I get a new car, and then they get the exact same car, and then I I start saying a certain like phrase and then my friends start saying the certain phrase and then and it starts to build up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Yeah, they're technically, you know, kind of copying me in a way. But also the beauty of us as individual people is that even when we copy each other. We never fully can copy each other because we're all unique. You know what I'm saying? So there kind of is no such thing. There actually is no threat there. But, you know, you can feel sort of threatened in a way by that or frustrated or ripped off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But it's actually not. And you know what? That's sort of beautiful. So... Next, I hate being spoken to when I'm in a quiet mood. Like some days I just want to go to hot yoga, go to the grocery store and not talk to anybody. And sometimes people talk to me and I really, really hate it. And I feel kind of bad because I'm like, Emma, you're evil.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You know, why don't you want, like, come on, be a human being, get yourself in the mood. But when I'm not in the mood to talk and people talk to me, it's really, I really hate it. I absolutely hate it because there just are some times when I don't have the energy and I don't, I don't, I just don't have it in me. But you want to know what, it's actually a beautiful thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Anytime a stranger talks to you. Why? Because number one, for whatever reason, you felt inviting to them. And that is such a wonderful compliment. Also, community and connection with other human beings is so important. Honestly, probably the most important when one is feeling like a hater. So perhaps sweet conversation could change a hater's perspective.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I think there's something kind of beautiful about that. Next, I hate oversleeping. It really ruins my day. Okay? Like, if I oversleep... the rest of the day for me is ruined. I'm out of whack. I'm not motivated. I feel like there's not enough time in the rest of the day to get anything done. When I'm in a hateful place, oversleeping will literally ruin my day immediately.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Waking up, it's 9.30 a.m. I've overslept. My day is ruined. Now I hate my life for the rest of the day. But you know what the truth is? Number one, you can always turn around a late start. Oversleeping is not the end. It's not the end of the day. The day is not ruined. That is not true. So that's one positive thing. Another positive thing is that sometimes like your body just needs it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
then you can steal this exercise and do it when you're being a hater. Okay, let's begin. I hate purses that are too small to fit your phone. I see one of these at a store or being carried by a beautiful, beautiful person, and I feel my skin start to get a little bit hot. I really struggle to not be overwhelmed by how ridiculous the concept of a mini little purse is. It drives me nuts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You're exhausted and you're actually going to be more productive for the rest of the day because you overslept and you're well rested. And I guess last but not least, there's always tomorrow. Wake up early tomorrow. You know, this is just one day. Try again tomorrow. And last but not least, I hate when people are overly nice. It really fucking pisses me off.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like I have a really hard time with people who are almost like sickly sweet, you know, like positive to a point where it's like, oh my God, are you even like being a real, are you even a real human being? Like, do you even mean any of this? Like, how is this even possible? Like, is it even possible to be this positive? Seems a little bit too good to be true to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
To me, somebody who's like really positive, overly nice is lying, is faking, is hiding something. But you want to know what? These types of people are harmless. And they're actually, their impact on the world is probably... very positive. These are not harmful people. These are not the people to hate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
But for whatever reason, I'm more bothered by people who are overly positive, overly nice, because there's just something about it that to me feels sinister and I just hate it. But it's not fair because they're not doing anything wrong and they're probably happier than I am. Maybe not. Okay, I'm done. That was me trying to say something nice about things that I hate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I do not feel like this activity changed my life. I can't even say that this activity changed my perspective. Okay, so am I going to recommend this exercise to you? No. Actually, you know what? It was kind of a positive exercise. I think it would actually be fun to do this with someone else. Like maybe if you are going to do this, do this with one of your hater friends if you're a hater.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
It's fun because you get to sort of vent about what you hate, which is really kind of cathartic for us haters. But then you counteract it with something positive. And I don't know, we'll see in the following days whether or not this exercise sort of got me into the routine of finding the positive in things that I dislike. I actually think that there's a chance that it might. Can I guarantee it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
No. I can't, but I hope it does. That would be great. So maybe give it a try. If you don't, that's fine. That's all for today's episode. You know what? It was one of the stupidest ones I've ever made. Actually, Emma, stop. I'm trying to stop you. See, that was hateful. That was hateful. That was me hating on myself, okay? No, it was not one of the stupidest ones I've ever made.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Perhaps it was experimental. You know, I've never made an episode like this before. I came up with my own exercise to help with, you know, one of my issues. So it was experimental, but it was not stupid. Okay. Experimenting is good. Anyway, I need to make myself like a little matcha or something. I'm getting the afternoon sleepies. It's 1.30 PM.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I'm feeling afternoon sleepies and I need a little matcha. Okay. I think that'd be good for me. So I'm going to go make that. But thank you all for listening and hanging out as always. It's a pleasure. I truly adore and love you all. And when we hang out, it's fun. So come hang out on Thursdays and Sundays, new episodes on Thursdays and Sundays.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You can stream anywhere you get podcasts and video is on YouTube and Spotify. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company can be found online at chamberlaincoffee.com or on social media at Chamberlain Coffee or in stores, Target, Whole Foods, Sprouts, Albertsons, Air One if you're in the LA area. Check us out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And that's all I have for today. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And I don't hate you. I promise. I actually am kind of feeling less like a hater already. So maybe this is really good. Maybe things are looking up. All right. I'll talk to you later. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Okay, the whole point of a bag is that you bring it with you to carry your stuff. Now, it's the 21st century, baby. And you know what we all have all the time? Cell phones. If you're carrying a little bag that can't even fit your phone, what the fuck is it there for? And I'm seeing these designer brands come out with these teeny tiny little mini bags and it doesn't even hold a phone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
What the fuck is going on? Now, I don't want to see any of you go back and find a photo of me carrying a super mini bag. OK, because if I've ever carried a super mini bag, it was against my will. OK, I was going to an event with a brand and they were like, hey, can you carry this bag? I was like, is there one that's bigger? And the answer was no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
That is the only time I can't even remember if I've ever carried like a little mini bag that doesn't hold anything. I know I have. I know I have because it was a huge trend and it's still a huge trend. And so I've definitely to an event or something had to carry a really mini bag because that's what, you know, that's what product the brand wanted me to be holding.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
when photos were being taken, right? There are sometimes moments when this type of stuff happens. I can guarantee that every single time I've ever had to carry a super mini bag, I've also had another bag that was actually holding my stuff and it was being held, you know, off camera or whatever. I just think it's ridiculous, okay? And it's a huge pet peeve of mine and it drives me crazy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I would go as far as to say that I hate mini purses. Hate. But now that I've let that out, let's try to find something nice to say. For one, I do love many things. I actually do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You know, whenever I see a little video on YouTube Shorts, although I'm trying not to watch YouTube Shorts as much anymore, but when I see a little video on YouTube Shorts of one of those mini kitchen cooking videos, if you don't know what I'm talking about...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Someone has this little mini kitchen, okay, that they like light little candles underneath the like little stove and they have like little water tanks or something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like I don't even know how it all works, but they have all these mini little things that power this mini little kitchen and they cook little meals in this little kitchen with their big fingers are in there cooking in this mini little kitchen and I'm obsessed. I love that. When I was a kid, my favorite toy was any sort of mini doll.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Polly Pocket, mini doll houses with mini little beds and mini little closets with mini little clothes and mini little pillows. I love mini, okay? I am one of those people who finds joy in a mini thing. I think things that are mini are cuter than things that are normal size. In fact, I was at this little trendy gift shop in Eagle Rock, a very trendy shopping area in Los Angeles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Some people I know couldn't care less about it. They smoke a vape, smoke a cigarette, whatever, and they just never get hooked, and they just never like it, and nicotine never works for them, and they just never get addicted, and it just never happens. I'm the opposite. For whatever reason, I've always loved it, okay? Does it ultimately impact me negatively?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I made my way into the kids section and I stumbled across this little brand that makes these little like matchboxes, cigar boxes, little functional boxes. filled with little mini mice in little outfits. And I bought two of them, okay? I bought this little cigar box that has like a little mini bed inside with two little mini mice in pajamas.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I bought this other little box that has, you can open it and then like there's a little tiny mouse that has like a little tiny surfboard. Okay. And you can like strap its little feet into the surfboard and lean it against the box and it sort of stands up. I bought that for my dad. I don't even know if he's going to want it, but I bought it for him because he's a surfer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Is he even going to like that? I don't know. But I thought it was too cute. I had to buy it because it's mini and it's so cute. Okay. Okay, I love mini things. And a mini purse is technically a mini thing. So in that way, I actually do think it's cute. Okay, function aside, I think mini bags are kind of cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Another thing that I think is kind of nice about the mini bag is that it can be a bit humorous. It can be sort of a conversation starter. When you're carrying this tiny little mini bag, it is a bit ridiculous. Everyone knows that you can't put anything in there. And so there's actually something sort of camp about that. Like I'm literally carrying this little bag around and nothing fits in it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
I can at max fit like a vape and a lipstick in there. There's something kind of funny about that, which I think could be sort of a beautiful conversation starter. I actually fuck with that. I love humor in fashion. And last but not least, maybe there are some nights when you don't want to bring your phone and you just want to bring a little lipstick and a little vape.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And that's when you bring the mini bag out. You know, maybe there is a function for some people. For me, I never feel safe leaving the house without my phone. But if you do... And that's how you disconnect sometimes in bringing the mini bag forces you to leave the phone at home and disconnect. You know what? That's beautiful. I hope that there's someone out there that where that happens.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
You know, I really hope so. Oh, you know, also, I think it could be kind of fun to like clip a mini bag onto a larger bag that could kind of look cool or be kind of funny. In fact, I've actually sort of done that. I'm now remembering an event that I went to where they were like, hey, can you bring this tiny little mini bag?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And I was like, yes, but only if I can bring the exact same bag in a larger size as well. So I'm holding both at once. And they were like, sure. And I thought it was like, I don't know, silly. Okay, so see, there's something positive about a mini little bag. Let's move on to mushrooms. I despise mushrooms, okay, for two main reasons. Number one, the texture.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Bouncy, chewy, gummy, light, weird, what the fuck? Like, mushrooms in my mouth, it's wrong. It feels wrong. There's something about how light and bouncy it is. It's so unnerving to me. So that's number one. Number two, I hate the way a mushroom looks. Flip that thing over. See those little lines, those little fibers underneath the top of the mushroom? Disgusting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Yes, because having nicotine in my system makes me anxious and paranoid, and it makes me dissociate. It has a bunch of negative effects. But in the short term, I love it. I absolutely love it. The way that it releases chemicals in my brain, I just absolutely love it. And I'm prone to being addicted to it. I feel the same way about being a hater. Like there's just something about me that enjoys it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
There's something about that texture, just the way it looks? Disgusting. You know, and I think that I'm particularly hateful towards mushrooms because I grew up a vegetarian and at every single restaurant, it feels like the vegetarian option contains mushrooms. And it makes sense, really, because mushrooms are sort of a meaty kind of vegetable. You know, they have like an umami sort of flavor.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
They're less vegetal, more umami, which is more reminiscent of, say, meat, right? They're hearty in some ways. I don't even really know because I've never eaten them, but I've heard that they're sort of heartier. And, you know, restaurants love to just grill up a portobello mushroom and put it in between two buns and call it a veggie burger. I mean, you know, restaurants just love to do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And so I guess maybe for me, the hatred stems from just like a pure dislike combined with constantly having it be my main option. you know, less so now. I feel like when I was growing up, you know, mushroom was sort of the main meat alternative, but food technology has advanced to things far more palatable. There are a lot of fake meats on the market these days.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And so restaurants aren't really relying as much on mushrooms. But like in the early 2000s, I just, it was, there was mushrooms everywhere. It was like, get out of my face. But now I have to say something nice about them. Well, for starters, I will say that mushrooms are really cute, okay? If I'm like walking through the forest, which happens sometimes, and I see a mushroom, I'm delighted.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like when I'm looking at a mushroom from the top and I can't see the creepy fibers that are underneath, Mushrooms are super cute. And they also remind me of being a child and being obsessed with fairies who, of course, live in the forest and live under mushrooms. I don't know. I see a mushroom and I think, maybe there's a little fairy living in that mushroom.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
And that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. So in that way, I love mushrooms. Actually, I even have some outdoor decor that are mushrooms. I have these sort of stone mushrooms in my backyard and I love them. I think that they're precious. And when it comes to mushrooms being a food, I actually kind of love the way mushrooms smell.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
Like if I'm walking past a restaurant that's cooking mushrooms or a house that's cooking mushrooms, I know that smell and it's delightful. It is a delightful smell. Honestly, I think the smell of cooking mushrooms is one of my favorite, like, savory smells. It's kind of unbelievable. So you know what? Maybe mushrooms aren't so bad after all. But I am not going to eat them ever. Okay, moving on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
You want to know what just absolutely terrifies me, keeps me up at night, and then when I finally fall asleep, fuels my nightmares? Let me tell you about the permanence of the internet. This is a reality of life that I contemplate multiple times a day. And not in like a sort of beautiful, introspective way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I've also spent an equal amount of time fearing rumors, fearing people telling stories that are false for the sake of Who knows, you know, like going viral or like who or just to like character assassinate me because, you know, for whatever reason, someone doesn't like me. This is something that in the age of the Internet, because of the permanence of the Internet, can truly ruin your life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like I genuinely live in fear of a well-crafted rumor. Because I remember there was like a story made by someone who actually did go to school with me. That was true. This girl who went to school with me basically posted a TikTok telling a completely fabricated story about me and my interactions with her. completely fabricated. Okay. In fact, me and this girl were always cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I'm not just saying that, like, if I fucked up and I like was a complete bitch to this girl, I would fully, fully sit here right now and say, you know, that was a dark moment in my, in my life. I was, you know, 14, 15 years old, probably 15 at that time. I, you know, was going through this. I was going through that. I was an asshole and I treated this girl like shit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And now I have to live with that memory forever. Like I would just say that. And that would be the story that, but, and trust me, there are definitely some things I did in high school that I'm not proud of. I don't necessarily remember all of them, but I bet, you know, people could remind me of those things and I would regret them and be apologetic of them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm all about, you know, taking responsibility and shit. Don't get me wrong. However, if I didn't do something, I'm not going to take responsibility for it because I didn't fucking do it. This is a great example of that. This girl came up with this whole story about basically me being a total bitch to her and fabricated this entire story that I know for a fact was not true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And anybody who knew me in high school would be like, Emma didn't do that. Emma probably made some other mistakes, but Emma definitely didn't do that. Like it was just completely out of character and like evil in a way that I've never been in my life, even at my darkest moments.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And that was really, really upsetting to me because I was reading the comments of people being like, oh my God, I can't believe she would do that. I always knew she was a mean girl, all this shit. And it's like, my entire character is being judged right now based on a complete lie that is now going to be permanently on the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like I can sit here and deny, I didn't even address it or deny it or do anything because I was like, that will only bring more attention to this. And this is not true. This is not true. So I don't want to talk about it and bring more attention to it because it's not real. You know, like I don't even know how to, how to handle, I'm just going to ignore it, I guess.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But it was really upsetting to me because I was like, this is now something that when people Google me, it might come up this story that is completely false.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And now this is something that I am going to be tied to for the rest of my life instead of the actual memories of me in high school that are true, who I really was, which I was definitely not a perfect person in high school, but I was not mean like that. I'm sorry, I just wasn't, okay? Like I wasn't, like, no, that is ridiculous.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And it's completely just a fabricated story for character assassination. That is the truth. But again, like there are people who saw that video back then and that story became permanent in their mind. You know, in that way, the internet is permanent. But then also it's permanent because that video is probably still up. And if somebody wanted to go find it, you know, they could.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And in that way, it's permanent. And that has also really bothered me. You know, a lot of the controversies that I've been in in my career were actually based on false narratives, a decent portion of them. You know, there have been things that I've said that I've gotten called out for that, like I have genuinely said, fair enough.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But there's also been so many false narratives as well that people now forever will remember. People fully think that I did things that I did not do because these narratives become permanent through the internet. And it fucks with me. It really fucks with me. And another thing that fucks with me is sort of how my past phases in life though harmless, right? Yeah, they're harmless, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like when I was a cringe sort of 16-year-old or when I had really bad acne when I was like 18 or 19. Every little phase in my life has been documented. Now, I must also add voluntarily, okay, I posted all of this of myself. I'm not sitting here saying like, oh my God, it's all permanent. And like, I didn't even want that. No, I posted it. You know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
So it is absolutely, you know, this is something I did to myself and I am fully aware of that. But at the same time, even though I have no regrets and I think it's absolutely worth it, I definitely struggle with constantly being reminded of past phases of my life. I mean, in theory, could I delete my past? I could, but like, that's sort of the dilemma.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm also like, I don't want to delete my past. Like it was my past. And also, you know, there are people who still find entertainment or value in these, these past moments of my life. Right. So like, I don't want to delete it. Also, even if I did, there's everything I've ever done is reposted somewhere. There's documentation of it beyond my own. So like, it's, I'm in a
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Some people could delete all their social media, start fresh, whatever. And there's no sort of documentation of their past. Once they delete it, it's gone. So there is sort of a feeling of control there. Is everything ever truly gone? No. And some things are posted by other people and those things are permanently posted and you can't hack into their account and delete the stuff.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But I will say I'm experiencing an extreme level of permanence on the internet. It's exhausting in a way because it's like, again, like I've worked so hard to build the person that I am today. And I don't necessarily want to be judged by who I was. A year ago, three years ago, five years ago, like that's something I really struggle with because there are moments when I was really annoyed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Find Wellness at Westin, one of the 30 extraordinary hotel brands in the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio. Now back to the episode. I'm like, I have like a tight chest. Okay. Just talking about this topic. But I also think I have a tight chest because I was around people this weekend who were vaping and I was like, I'm obviously going to hit that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
There are moments when I did something embarrassing. A great example would be my fucking Streamy's award speech acceptance speech when I won a Streamy award in like 2019 or something. And the speech went viral because it was so cringe. That was absolutely fucking horrible for me. And it still gets brought up and people still show me the video and I still have to see it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And it's absolutely horrible. And I'm wearing a hideous outfit and I look hideous and the speech is fucking cringe. The whole thing is a mess. And I... see that video like once a month, probably. It comes up somewhere. I see it somewhere. And like how beautiful it would be if that was just a memory that we all had. You know what I mean? A memory that we all had.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It wouldn't be nearly as cringe if it was just a memory. You know what I'm saying? But it's cringe because it's this video and it's permanent. And that is really challenging. But also like, periods when I've looked bad, you know, and I know that this is like vain and I am probably more vain than I think people would think I was, which is perhaps in a whole episode of its own.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I seem like I don't care. And many people are like, Emma just doesn't care. She posts and she looks ugly and she doesn't care. That's true. Listen, at any given moment, I look the way I'm going to look and like I'm never going to necessarily hide it. I'm never going to hide. Right. Because it's the reality. But that doesn't mean I'm not unhappy with the way that I look or something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
You know what I'm saying? So like now phases when I feel like I didn't look good, like those are permanent as well. Phases when I've had really, really severe acne or, you know, I've been unhealthy in one way or another. And I look like shit as a result. You know, like these are moments of my life that are permanent.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I am reminded of those phases constantly because they're documented and seemingly sort of permanent. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Squarespace.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I love the art of a beautifully designed website, checking out a business's website for the first time and feeling like I'm being welcomed into their home, expressing the brand's identity while simultaneously being super, super user-friendly. And on Squarespace, that's easy. Not only can you build beautiful websites with Squarespace, but you can even create and sell your own courses too.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And Squarespace payments makes it easy to take all kinds of payments, including Apple Pay, Klarna, and more. Get started with a free trial at squarespace.com and use squarespace.com slash Emma for 10% off your first website or domain. Now let's get back to the episode. The phase that I'm struggling with the most right now is my most recent sort of phase that took place over the last few years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
So I vaped a lot this weekend after a long time of not really vaping. And so I think my chest is a little bit tight because of that as well. I'm also feeling a little weird, I think, because I'm probably withdrawing a little bit from nicotine. So if my vibe is like off, it's because I'm kind of dissociating from nicotine withdrawals. And I feel weird.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Where I kind of had this like serious sort of artsy to some maybe even pretentious sort of philosophical. Although some people would say that that is just I can't even call myself philosophical, even though technically anyone can be philosophical. So that's rude. But, you know, now I had this phase, I think, for a number of reasons. I really want to dig into this phase, honestly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I feel like I need to discuss it. I feel like it'll be sort of cathartic for me because it directly relates to the topic of this episode, the permanence of the internet. This phase of my life is permanent. And right now, it's really, really bothering me. So let's just discuss it, okay? It was sort of this artsy, sort of pretentious, sort of philosophical sort of phase.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Now, it was not... I didn't mean for it to be... cringe or pretentious. My intention was never bad. I also wasn't necessarily trying to be cool or something necessarily. It wasn't even that. I think it was a combination of a few things. Number one, what I mentioned earlier, me being so afraid of showing my personality.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
That I completely had a mental block when it came to like showing myself or, you know, I've always been a bit edgy with the shit that I talk about. I've always taken risks with what I talk about and I've always received criticism for that to a certain extent. It's not everyone's cup of tea, understandably so. All good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But when cancel culture sort of became more of a thing, I just became more and more afraid to the point where I was like, I don't even want to make a joke. Like I remember I used to like, I don't know, like fucking start writing an Instagram caption and it was like funny.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And then I was like, I can't, I'm too scared to be funny because I'm too scared that being remotely funny will somehow get me canceled. So I would just delete the caption and post the photo with no caption. You know, that was the vibe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Or like I would be editing a YouTube video and I'd say like one funny thing and I'd be like, I'm too scared that, you know, because being to be funny is to be edgy a bit a lot of times. Right. So I just completely couldn't show the side of myself anymore. I was way too afraid. So I was like, well, I need to show something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
So I showed myself sort of depressed and sort of in the middle of this mental block, having this sort of existential crisis, rethinking everything. Thinking really philosophically about everything. Because that's truly what was going on in my head. So there was that. But then I also think, too, that I was experiencing a bit of a...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
a creative growth period, if you will, where I was trying to figure out like, all right, what's the next step in my career, right? Like I've been vlogging my life. I've been, you know, talking about my life very intimately and very vulnerably for a long time. And
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I want to maintain a decent amount of that, but I also can't really do this anymore because my career and my level of, um, fame in a way, even though I'm not that famous, but like my level of fame, even, even to the, you know, maybe smaller level that it's at compared to say like fucking, I don't know, Jennifer Aniston.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like, I don't know, but like, I'm not a fucking, I'm not super famous, but I'm famous enough that like, I have to do things differently now. I was kind of in a phase where I'm like, what do I do next? And part of me was like, well, maybe I should make things feel a bit more meaningful. Maybe I need to... add a bit more depth to what I'm putting out there, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Instead of just talking about like mundane shit, instead of showing mundane shit, maybe I share things that are a bit more potent, a bit more deep, a bit more whatever, like maybe share that side of myself. And I think to an extent that was good. Like I actually think that there was some beauty to that. And I think I enjoyed that a lot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like my brain and body equilibrium is very off. Would I love to hit a vape right now? Yes. But no, I don't own vapes anymore. I only hit other people's. Anyways, I will say, I do think that I am more significantly affected by this reality of life, the permanence of the internet, than the average person because my entire life and my entire career is on the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I think it was exciting to show like a deeper side of myself. But at the same time, I think it became like all I did. And then I wasn't showing any of my humor or like my lighthearted personality. And that I don't think is good because I think honestly, my strong suit is a balance. You know, and I think it was almost like an overcorrection.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It was like, I became too like deep and like, like, look at how beautiful, like everything became too deep, too artsy. Like it, it, I was trying to infuse meaning into my internet output and also simultaneously, you know, protect a bit more of my privacy. And in a lot of ways, again, you know, there was a lot of positive there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like I did end up showing a different side of myself that was actually truly genuine to me. And but then through doing that, I like lost touch with my sense of humor and like my edginess. I don't know. Like I lost my edge a bit. I mean, listen, I can't like I don't know. Everybody had a different opinion and everyone does have a different opinion. So I can't speak for everybody.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I also try not to. read too much or see too much of what people think or else I have a meltdown. But I do think that, you know, there are people who are like, where did you go? Emma, where are you? And understandably so. Right. Because even though I was still there, it was I wasn't all there and I wasn't in the best place. Like things weren't working out. They weren't working.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
They simply weren't working. And it came off as pretentious. It came off as like, why is Emma talking about like philosophical topics? She's like an idiot podcaster, which by the way, I think is completely an unfair criticism. Even if you thought that phase of my podcast or YouTube or whatever was cringe or pretentious or whatever, or even if you think that I'm not smart enough to be talking about
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I can everyone has the right to give their opinion on whatever they want, you know, or to discuss, you know, whatever they want. I think if I did maybe go wrong, it was because I was accidentally maybe speaking from a place of like, let me teach you about this. And that's a mistake. If I whenever I did that, if at any point I did that, that's a mistake.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But to simply talk about things that are philosophical is to be human. I don't think we can. We should not ever take that right away from anyone. I'm not a fucking philosophy major. I'm discovering it. Having my own sort of philosophical epiphanies on my own and doing so in a way that's normal. You know what I'm saying? And I'm not claiming to be some sort of philosopher.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm just like discussing what I've been thinking about. On my own timeline as I'm discovering it. And if it's later than you, it's later than you, you know, whatever. But I definitely received a good amount of criticism during this sort of transitionary period of my career where, you know, I just couldn't quite get into rhythm with with things in the audience and you all. felt that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Some of you maybe felt that, but were like, okay with it and didn't mind it or whatever. Some of you fucking hated it and hated me and whatever. It's one of those phases that I cringe at, but also you all cringed. A lot of you, not all of you, but a chunk of you also cringed at. And I'm not going to go back and delete it. I'm Because, again, I don't want to erase history.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I don't want to erase history. I want to. I do, but I'm conflicted. I don't know. Like, I would love for it to disappear, right? But I'd love if it just never happened. But it did. And so because of that, I have to just own it and live with it and be like, this is permanent. But it's challenging. And, you know, to sort of wrap up that whole story, I recently, within the last, I don't know,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
year, slowly but surely realized I had it all wrong. Number one, I cannot live in fear of the permanence of the internet. I cannot live in fear because not only does it make me completely miserable, but it also, it causes my career to suffer. And my creativity to suffer, it completely gets in the way of me living a fulfilling life. It's completely detrimental for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But also my sort of desire to instill more meaning and depth into, you know, the content I put out on the Internet. That was also sort of irrational. To continue to evolve my career and take things to the next level, I don't actually need to instill more depth into things. That was a miscalculation. That was a hypothesis that ended up not being true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
However, I do think that this is a concern for people in the 21st century, okay? I think my feelings towards it are a bit more extreme, but I actually do think that this is a concern for everyone because it is just a current truth. This is just something that, like, the internet is permanent. That can be good and that can be bad. Do you know what I'm saying? For everyone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
In fact, by doing that, I think I ended up removing meaning from what I was doing. But it was something I had to try. And it's something I have to accept. That's a phase of my career that I have to accept. And is it all bad? No. And is it even really that bad? No. No, it's not. And there were some people out there who actually enjoyed this phase that now I cringe at so.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But now I realize through that phase that I'm cringing at now, that number one, I can't live in fear. And number two, I don't need to instill meaning in things. I just need to be entertaining and I just need to be honest and I just need to be myself. And that it doesn't need to be deep. It doesn't need to be artsy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It doesn't need to be, it doesn't, if I want it to be philosophical because I'm having a philosophical moment in my life, sure, it can be philosophical. But like, if I'm seeing beauty in a way and I want to share it with the world, I can share. But like, I don't need to do that in order for what I do on the internet to be meaningful. You know, like things can be more mundane.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
They can be more surface level. They can be more funny. They can be more chill and they can still provide value to people. Like that was something I was having a hard time grasping. It's like, Can I provide value to people if things are surface level? If things are silly? If things are mundane? Like, how do I level up if not to infuse more depth into things? Anyway, it was just a miscalculation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And now... I'm in this sort of bittersweet position where, on one hand, I'm so grateful for this phase of experimentation and fear and difficulty because without that, I wouldn't be where I'm at today, which is at an incredible place. where I now feel more inspired than I have in a really long time. And I'm feeling more myself than I have in a really long time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I'm feeling like, you know, I have a plan for my career and an internet output that's sustainable. That's something that I could actually continue to do for years to come where I'm not going to hit burnout. I'm not going to psych myself out or get, you know, experience burnout. you know, sort of a mental block. Again, I'm stronger than ever. I'm more inspired than ever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm more myself than ever. Things are great right now. Unfortunately, to get here, I had to go through that little rough patch that was a little cringe, that was a little pretentious, that was whatever. I'm grateful for that time. But at the same time, because it's permanent due to the internet, I'm also sort of tortured by it and I'm mortified by it. I want to move on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
No, I contemplate this reality of life multiple times a day in fear, in a panic, overcome with anxiety. Okay, I am tortured by the permanence of the internet. Tortured. And it's kind of funny because... I am as tortured by the permanence of the internet as I am because of my own voluntary actions. Okay, I made the decision to post the last seven years of my life on the internet. I did that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm excited that I'm in a better place now. But on a daily basis, I'm reminded of that phase. And I could delete it. But I also feel like deleting it's even worse. Like, I don't want to erase my past. I don't want to erase these phases. And these phases also weren't necessarily hated by everyone, right? There are actually people who enjoyed this phase, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It was a smaller group of people than the group of people who have enjoyed other phases of my career and life, right? But there was a group of people that enjoyed that phase. And it's like, do I want to take that away from those people? Ugh.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But, you know, I'm at a point where I'm like, all right, I'm really trying to sort of develop a healthy relationship with this reality, the reality of the permanence of the Internet. I'm really trying to like... Yeah. If, you know, something of me from 10 years ago comes out of, like, me being an asshole or, like, me, like, pooping on someone's front lawn, I never did that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
More so for people who, you know, have a career on the internet, who have shared a lot of their life on the internet, but still so for people who have not. It's sort of terrifying for everyone. I think because I'm somebody who's shared majority of my life on the internet, I look at a time prior to the Internet where everyone could sort of just evolve and grow as a person in the real world.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I did pee on someone's front lawn once, but I never pooped. So, anyways. But, like, if a video of me peeing on someone's fucking front lawn in high school after a party when I was drunk, like... if that video comes out, you know, it's like, or worse, like who knows, you know, it's like, I have to accept the fact that like that could happen. And that's just sort of the name of the game.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And that's just the reality of, of today. And also, you know, use the permanence of the internet to inspire me to only be a better person, but not to the point where I'm obsessing over it. And I'm a perfectionist and I'm like completely, you know, unforgiving of myself if I make a mistake because I'm like, Emma, you have no room to make a mistake. Everything is permanent on the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm trying to find balance and peace in it, but it's challenging. It's challenging for me. And I also think it's challenging for society, even though I have my own unique sort of relationship to it that has its own sort of unique set of difficulties. I really do believe that this is something that is impacting society as a whole, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like, I don't think just public figures are impacted by this, right? I will say, these are all sort of hypotheses, right? Like, I don't know for sure if the permanence of the internet has impacted society, but I mean, I'm pretty sure it has. I have some examples of how I think it's impacted society.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
For one, I think partying and clubbing and going out and socializing has really, really deeply been impacted by the permanence of the internet. I feel like people are really afraid of... Not everyone, okay? But I know of people who are really afraid of really like letting loose because nowadays there's a chance you might be filmed and you might go viral on the internet if you let too loose, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And there is something sort of beautiful about being able to like go to a bar and like go crazy and dance and live in the moment and it not be documented, right? Now, I'm not saying like partying is no fun anymore because it used to be like morally wrong things could happen at the party and nobody would find out. That's not what I'm fucking saying.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm even just saying like being – like going out and drinking and dancing and being in the moment like that is something that is actually very vulnerable. And it's something that like in the moment feels so magical. But if you were to film it and take it outside of that moment, it is actually like – ooh, it's not supposed to be taken outside at the moment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But now because of the internet, it oftentimes is. And I really do think that it's negatively impacted the club party scene. And I've seen quite a few articles pop up over the last few years about how, you know, Gen Z's not drinking, which I actually think is a great thing. You don't need a drink to have fun, although it does help sometimes. But I'm sober and I've been sober since October of 2024.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I haven't had one drink. Okay. So I know a thing or two about sobriety. Yeah. I mean, I'm still hitting the vape, but I here and there. But the alcohol, no. But anyway, Gen Z is not drinking as much. A lot of clubs are shutting down. Just my own experience in LA. When I first moved here, there were so many parties and there was such an energy. But maybe it was my perception.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But I really do feel like, I don't know, the party vibe, the club vibe, the bar vibe in LA has really lost its sparkle. And I've talked to a lot of people... who also live in LA and been like, has it kind of lost its sparkle? And there's a lot of people who agree with me. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I think that truly going out and socializing and enjoying the moment is a bit harder now because there is a risk that somebody could film you or that you're in the back of somebody's video. I don't know. It ruins the feeling of complete freedom that I think going out used to give people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It's like at the end of the week where you're being watched by your boss or being watched by your teacher or you have to turn things in on time and there's all these rules. There was something so beautiful about being able to go out and be social and be free. Nobody's watching. Nobody's paying attention. You know, you just get to kind of let loose.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And everyone was judged based on who they were within their close knit community. And obviously, there's always been celebrities and public figures who have, you know, been judged on a larger scale. But even those people couldn't like go on Instagram and read their comments. Like there's something sort of beautiful about the fact that, I don't know, like the past was the past.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And now it's like, wait, we don't get to let loose because we're constantly at risk of being filmed or being this or being that. And it's like, if you want to fucking take body shots off of somebody, you can't just do that. Now it's like probably going to be filmed. You can't just like, I don't know, chain smoke 10 cigarettes outside of the bar because somebody might take,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
photos of you and be like, look at this fucking freak who just smoked 10 cigarettes in one sitting. And it's like posted on TikTok with that caption. And then it gets 30,000 likes. And then it's like, wait, I was just chain smoking my cigarettes because it's the fucking weekend. Why are you, you know what I'm saying? I don't know. It's just not the same.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Maybe I'm just feeling that way because I'm growing up. And that could be truly the case. It could be just my perception. But I've seen and heard too many things that corroborate this hypothesis. So I don't know. I want to vape so bad. I'm fiending for the vape a little bit because I was doing so good. I was doing so good. And then I really just hit it a lot this weekend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I was just... Everybody around me seemed to have a vape. And it was just like vape after vape after vape. It was absolutely delicious. But I am really paying the price right now because I'm really craving it. And... Yeah, it sucks. OK, moving on. Sorry. I also think, too, that the permanence of the Internet has sort of created a new societal weapon, a lethal one at that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
The permanence of the Internet really it has become a weapon to assassinate character. You can turn the internet against an individual in a way that is truly like being fucking stoned in the town square. It is like being crucified. And I know that that's extreme, but it genuinely is that extreme. Like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
If you're an average person and all of a sudden somebody posts something about you that's negative on the internet and it goes viral because it's like a viral story, the feelings that that will bring up in a person, it's dangerous. It's really dangerous. It's terrifying. And there are absolutely people out there who get off on just destroying people's lives through the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I think that this has ruined more people's lives than we even remember. And that is not good for society. That is not good for humanity, I don't think. The fact that people's mistakes can be used against them on the internet, I don't know. It's to me dangerous. Which leads me to like my next sort of point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I mean, I think young people are afraid these days of truly experimenting and making mistakes in life, which is crucial for growth. The repercussions of experimenting in life are now unproportionately severe because of the internet. Like if these things make it onto the internet, the repercussions can now be worldly. Are they always? No. But there's a chance.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And the mere chance of it, I think, really, I'm hypothesizing, really severely psychologically impacts young people especially. Which I think, you know...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
is creating an anxious, isolated, depressed generation of young people, which is another thing that I've been seeing articles about for years now, how Gen Z is the most anxious, how Gen Z is the most isolated, how there's a friendship epidemic, like no one has friends. Gen Z is depressed. We've all seen these articles. And I think the permanence of the internet, weirdly, is a part of that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And last but not least, I think the permanence of the internet creates some unfavorable qualities in society as a whole. Not every single individual, but creates... an increase in numbers of people who have certain unfavorable qualities, such as perfectionism, such as vanity, narcissism. In the physical world, your being feels much less significant.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like people were just allowed to sort of move through phases so much more naturally. Whereas now we have access naturally. to people's history. We can directly see and relive someone's past whenever we want, as long as it's on the internet. And for a lot of us, it is on the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I don't know how to explain this, but think about yourself in the real world, and then think about yourself on the internet, if you're somebody who posts yourself on the internet. Your being, okay, your being, like you as a human being in the real world feels much less significant because you're surrounded by other people. You're surrounded by experience.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
You're surrounded by so many things that are bigger than yourself. There's something about the internet and how we perceive ourselves on the internet. where we feel like the center of the universe. It's almost like our profile is the center of the universe and everything else around it is just, you know, details in a way, you know? And like, it's just, it's a different way of perceiving oneself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And yet we perceive ourselves in real life and we perceive ourselves online. And I think now that our realities are so intertwined with the internet and a decent portion of us nowadays perceive ourselves mainly through the internet, it's leading a large portion of us to develop perfectionism, develop narcissism. to be vain.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
A lot of us who wouldn't normally be that way, like we aren't that by nature. There are some who are like that by nature, but I think the internet and specifically the permanence of the internet brings out these characteristics because everybody's aware of how once something's on the internet, in some ways it's sort of permanent.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But also, when people look at things on the internet, whether it's the past or the present, everything when being perceived on the internet sort of feels like the present in that moment. You know what I mean? When you're looking at it. I think it explains why people are so obsessed with looking perfect, right? Face-tuning things. Sometimes...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
FaceTiming to oblivion to the point where it's like, where did their nose go? They smoothed their face so much the nose disappeared. This is kind of ridiculous. Getting arguably unnecessary procedures done to have sort of unnatural features almost that look good on social media. but actually don't even look good in real life, but look good on social media.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But it's like in like real life almost matters less because the internet's more permanent. So as long as it looks good on the internet, which is permanent, then who really cares what's happening in real life? If your lips are so big, you like can't talk properly. It's like, it doesn't really matter because it looks really good on Instagram and Instagram is permanent.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And so it's all about like looking perfect because that is what is permanent because of the internet. I think people are also obsessed with sort of curating a perfect looking life on the internet. Because again, having an actual perfect life, who cares? Number one, it doesn't exist. But number two, it's like, who cares? Because that's not as permanent. The internet is permanent.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
So there's this pressure to sort of show everyone this perfect life. And a lot of times that actually ends up just kind of actually destroying quality of life. I don't think that that adds to quality of life at all. I think it a lot of times is actually quite a negative thing. And I really think this just leads to to narcissism.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Instead of it just being this distant memory or something that only our close friends and family knew about, or you know what I'm saying? For a lot of us, Our entire past is completely documented. It's completely cemented in history in a way, in a way that is so accurate because of the internet. And there's something so much more powerful about that that really freaks me out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I'm not saying that the Internet turns people into narcissists, but I'm saying it it causes people to develop narcissistic traits, I think. The permanence of the internet feels so severe that I think it tricks people into thinking that they're more important than they are. They're the center of the universe because this, does that make sense? I don't even know what I'm fucking saying anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Okay, like what did I even just talk about for the last however long I've been talking? I don't even know what the fuck I just talked about. I'm going to wrap it up, okay? I'm going to wrap it up. I'm going to give a positive conclusion because I think otherwise this is a little bit too depressing. Here's the deal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
In conclusion, I think the internet, though it has elements that are complex and arguably damaging to society... The internet also is an incredible thing. And with all good, there's bad. And this is just part of the bad. And I really hope that over time, as a society, we're going to get better at managing this sort of challenging element of the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Because I think we all know that the internet's not going anywhere. And also, we don't want it to go anywhere. There's a lot about the internet that is incredible. So I really do believe that over time, we're going to get better at managing the negative elements of the internet. And I even feel like I'm getting better at it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
You know, as I mentioned earlier, I spent many years struggling with the permanence of the Internet. It really, really bothered me. And it led me to sort of a cringe phase that ironically became permanent, that I ironically ended up cringing more at later. But living in fear and letting it get in my way negatively impacted me to the point that I ended up coming out the other end fearless again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I think, and I hope that other people will experience this as well. And hopefully in an ideal world, the permanence of the internet will actually force us to accept ourselves for our mistakes, for our shortcomings. And we'll hopefully one day, instead of just canceling each other immediately, unless, listen, if you do something bad enough, okay, I'm always like, I get it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Okay, sometimes we have to cancel. I kind of get it. But it's also like, a lot of times we're canceling, we shouldn't be. I really do hope that One day it will hold us accountable in a way that's like genuinely beneficial to the person and to the world. Right. And I see a future where that happens. I really do think that this could turn around and be a positive thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Anyway, that's all I have for today. Thank you all for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed it, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. You can watch video on Spotify and YouTube and you can listen anywhere you stream podcasts. Find Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Find me on social media at Emma Chamberlain and find my wonderful coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee. at chamberlandcoffee.com or perhaps in a store in New York or perhaps at our cafe in Los Angeles. That's all I have for today. I'm really just fiending for a vape. I just am absolutely having nicotine withdrawals right now and I'm completely spaced out and I feel weird.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But actually talking to you all today really brought me back to earth and made me forget. Actually, I didn't forget. I did not forget about my nicotine withdrawals at all. I brought them up multiple times. Anyway, that's it. That's it. That's all I have to talk about. I love you all. I appreciate you all. I enjoy the time that we spend together. It is always, always, always a treat and a joy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And I'll talk to you in a few days. Okay. Bye. Bye. Love you. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Prior to the internet, there was no fear of your mistakes being broadcasted to the world stage. Worst case scenario, you know, your family and friends and community find out about a mistake you made. But these are all people who know you. They know your character. They might, at worst, exile you in some sort of way. But technically, you can leave that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
You can get in your car and drive five hours and move to a city five hours away and start over fresh. And none of those people will know about your past. You know what I'm saying? The idea that you could make a mistake and be confronted by your friends and family and community and then sort of move forward in the world as a person who has learned from that mistake to me is so romantic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
The idea that there isn't actually really evidence necessarily, unless you did something so bad that it made it into the newspaper. Like prior to the internet, there was no risk of your mistakes being permanent in history. I think that there probably felt like a future where it could even be forgotten. It was up to you to tell that story once everybody forgot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
If you wanted to bring it up again, if you wanted to tell that story again, you could. Whereas now on the internet, if one of your mistakes gets broadcasted in some way, everyone knows about it forever. One Google search away, they can find your mistake for the rest of your life. You never get to move on from that. That's not your story to tell anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
That is now this permanent story that is permanently on the internet that can be accessed at any given moment at any time through the phone, through the Google search. Okay. This upsets me. I also think too, the idea that, you know, you can have sort of cringe, embarrassing phases in your life, but then move jobs or towns and start over completely. Like all of this is
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
a beautiful sort of concept to me that I think still does exist depending on your lifestyle, but is a novelty now more than ever. It didn't used to be a novelty. This just used to be reality. Whereas now for majority of people, this is this is a concern. This is the new reality is the fact that, you know, like even for people who are not on the internet, right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Even for people who don't have social media, there's still this sort of fear of the permanence of the internet, because let's say you're out at,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
party and you get blackout drunk and people take their phones out and start filming and then post it on the internet and you go viral because you did something sloppy or silly or stupid or dumb or you said something horrible like even for those who are not on the internet this is still a concern and I mean I do think it's all relative because prior to the internet the ridicule of perhaps your community was just as scary and terrifying I
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
But now it's on a worldly scale. And I know it might sound sort of irrational, like, again, for the average person. For the most part, you can live anonymously. You can sort of rewrite your history. The past is not necessarily permanent, but it can be. For me, it's fully fucking permanent. Okay. For me, I'm living the extreme. Like it is fully permanent for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
For most people, it's still not fully that extreme yet, but it's still a concern. And it's something that deeply, deeply affects me personally. It's something that for the last few years has fucked with me psychologically in a number of ways. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Number one, I've struggled with something that I think every public figure has struggled with, which is the fear of being canceled for something that I did when I was younger and dumber. In the age of the internet, and growing up in the age of the internet, everything that I did as a middle schooler and high schooler is documented, okay? In middle school and high school, we all had iPhones.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It was like when the iPhone first came out and we all finally got them. And we were all filming and taking photos of absolutely everything. And I... would be lying if I said that I don't worry sometimes about like what the fuck I did. I know I probably did some shit that I would absolutely regret now. Was I ultimately 13 years old?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I made that choice. Now I'm sort of tortured by it and it's like, okay, but I did it to myself. That's a reoccurring theme for me. Okay. I often sort of get myself into the most uncomfortable predicaments in my life. Usually I'm the one who did something wrong to get myself there.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Yeah, I was 13 years old, but it doesn't matter because something that I did as a 13 year old, not knowing how things could be hurtful or mean or disrespectful or like not knowing, being so young and completely aloof. We have no clue what the fuck is going on. We have no clue what we're doing. We have no clue what we're saying. We have no clue the repercussions of anything. We're rebellious.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
We don't care. Like the fact that that phase of my life is in some ways permanent through fucking Snapchat memories and shit. on my own phone and other people's phone. This is something I don't like. This is a reality that I don't like. This is something that really, really bothers me. And it bothers me because I've worked so hard to become the person I am today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I've been scolded by my fucking parents for saying shit that's disrespectful, saying shit that's morally wrong, doing shit that's disrespectful, doing shit that's morally wrong. I've gotten my ass handed to me already. I've learned my lessons. Who I am today, I'm very proud of. Do I make mistakes still? Do I do things still that could potentially... I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Tomorrow, somebody could come out and say, one time Emma was rude to me. And I might think of me like, oh my God, that was a week ago. And you know what? That's true. I don't fucking know. We live half of our lives in autopilot. So is there still a risk today? Yes. However, who I am today... I am in control of. This is me today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I am the product of every single mistake I've ever made in my entire life. And I'm better for it. And I really am proud of my character today. So I'm tortured in a lot of ways by this person who is almost not even me anymore, right? Like me as a child with barely developed brain, like in the age of the internet, that is not just a distant memory. That is permanent memory. Right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And the idea of being judged for my past as though it's the present, it's a hard pill for me to swallow. I think it's a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow. And I think that sort of leads me to this other complicated sort of terrifying element of the permanence of the Internet. The fact that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Although I don't think I did anything wrong because I actually have no regrets, even though I am completely tortured by the permanence of the internet. I also am aware that it is something that I have to deal with in order to be on the internet. Like, the internet is not the internet if it's not permanent. That is a key detail.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
A memory, a story told verbally, it's so much more gently received than like a video, a photo, like solid proof. You know, that is responded to much more viscerally and understandably so, because by watching a video, by looking at a photo, you're transported to that time because you can see it. You know what I'm saying? It just it brings you there. It connects you to that moment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
story to that moment. Whereas like hearing something or recalling a memory, it's just so much more gentle. Right. And so that's the other thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
It's like the permanence of the Internet is made even more complex because not only is it now permanent, like set in stone in time, but also it's even there's something about the way that we psychologically respond to it that makes it also like more potent. Right. But that also leads me to what I briefly mentioned earlier. Like I also experience immense fear around messing up today. Right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
Like there is this sort of fear of being judged on what I did in the past. Right. Because it's sort of made permanent or it can be made permanent. through the internet, but there's also a fear of making a mistake today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And then not only, you know, being judged based on that in the moment in a way that's very intense because of the sort of permanence of the internet and how things spread permanently on the internet, but there's also the fear of like, am I damaging my future self? Right. And I've actually spent the last few years absolutely tormented by this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And it's caused me to develop a toxic level of perfectionism. I need to be perfect all the time in every single way because at all times, I'm at risk of making a mistake that could become permanent. It could change my life forever because on the internet, the past is permanent. And it sort of caused a mental block in me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
You know, I'm talking about the last few years, like maybe the last four years. I've really, really struggled with this. And it's made it really hard for me to show my personality online as much as I used to because I was so afraid of doing saying the wrong thing. I was constantly psyching myself out. I had a mental block. I had a mental block.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And there's other reasons why maybe my personality was less present on the internet. I was less present on the internet. You know, this sort of mental block is not the only reason, but it's definitely a significant reason. Sort of the realization of the permanence of the internet combined with the rise of cancel culture, I mean, I'm not playing victim here. Okay. At all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
This is not me like whining, being like, I'm a victim of, of this. And it's so sad for me and scary. I'm not saying that I'm, I'm literally just saying the truth of, of how it impacted me psychologically. I became so afraid that I started overthinking everything, you know? And like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
in obsessing over every single little thing I said and censoring myself beyond belief because mistakes are received more harshly than ever now because of cancel culture. But again, they're also like, they're never forgotten now. So I don't know. I understandably became obsessive about every single thing that I put on the internet of myself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
And it became boring and bland and sort of vanilla even for a period of time because I was too scared to almost like fully just be myself and be normal because I... I couldn't stomach the fact that if I show myself and it's maybe not received well in one way or another, it's now permanent. I couldn't handle it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the terrifying permanence of the internet
I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Westin Hotels and Resorts. Westin Hotels is designed with your well-being in mind. With more than 200 destinations around the world, Westin Hotels makes it possible to keep up with your wellness routine while traveling.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You know what? It's pathetic how addicted I am to YouTube shorts. It's pathetic. Okay. It's pathetic because I've taken extreme measures to manage my social media addiction. And yet somehow I found a way to get addicted to YouTube shorts. Okay. I got two phones.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
YouTube Shorts was the last chance I had to scroll, or so I thought. I already found something else to scroll on. But this is a little bit healthier. And I don't think I'm going to become addicted to this, but it allows me to scroll in a way that is mentally stimulating. And when I'm on the toilet, I open this app and I look. This is the app Tagwalk, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like, oh my God, I thought you were wearing a sweater, but then I just walked up closer and it's actually like a mesh shirt. Like, that's so weird. Like, because it was printed on. That's so cool. That's funny the first few times, but the more you see it, the less exciting it is. And then you're like, eh. I'm good. And then the last example would be just realistic prints of stuff on clothing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And the example I gave was of faces because that's what I saw. I don't know how I feel about this. I definitely don't think that it's timeless. I think it's a bit odd. Like there's something sort of weird and unsettling about looking at a piece of clothing and it just has like a big face on it or something. Let's even take it a step further beyond the runway.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Let's say there was a big realistic image of a dog on a garment, or there was a big realistic image of an apple on a garment. That actually sounds kind of cool. You know, that actually might just be so odd and unusual, the concept of like printing something realistic and large on a shirt. That actually might be so odd that it's timeless, if that makes sense. Like it's such a unique idea.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
It's so weird. that it might always sort of be intriguing. So maybe that's the most timeless of all of these examples in this sort of category of like semi-realistic photographs and prints on clothes. But all the garments that I saw that had these big, realistic looking photographs of people, I was like, that is one of the weirder things I've ever seen. I don't think I love it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I don't think I love it. It weirdly is so odd that it's almost like Timeless. I don't know. I'm confused by it. Moving on. I've been seeing so many body suits worn without pants. OK, so like almost like a leotard. But I've seen them in many different forms. There's infinite body suits on the runway right now like this. Some of them are long sleeves. Some of them are short sleeves.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Some of them have cutouts. Some of them are lace. Some of them are stretchy. Some of them are like there are so many. But I'm just seeing a lot of sort of body suits where it almost looks like a one piece swimsuit of some sort going down the runway. I find it fascinating because, again, you know, this is not a trend that you can actually go out and wear. You know, you can't go to work.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You can't babysit your little cousin. You can't go to church. You can't even really go to the grocery store in one of these leotard sort of bodysuit, sort of one-piece swimsuit looking pieces. However, you can layer a bodysuit. You can wear a bodysuit with a skirt. You can wear a bodysuit with pants. On the runway, it's being shown alone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But I imagine that maybe they're doing that to just showcase the design of the bodysuit. And they actually would recommend their customer to wear it with pants, of course, because that's kind of how you would have to wear it. But I don't know. I think the concept of sort of a one-piece leotard sort of bodysuit, I think that is a timeless concept.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And a lot of the ones that I saw were simple and versatile and classic, like nothing too crazy. So I would go ahead and say that the bodysuit is timeless. However, I do not love a bodysuit. Like in reality, when it comes to styling a bodysuit for day-to-day life, I don't love a bodysuit, okay? Number one, I find them to be very uncomfortable.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Number two, I don't actually like the look of a shirt being tight. Okay, so if I'm styling the bodysuit with pants because that's how you would have to style the bodysuit for it to be socially acceptable, I don't like the look of a tight shirt tucked into my pants for the most part.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I actually like the look of a slightly looser shirt where, you know, you can see the bottom of the waist of the shirt. Perhaps it's hitting at a very flattering point where, you know, on the waist of your pant. And I like that. I don't love tucking in a shirt. And even worse, I don't love a bodysuit where the shirt is flat to the body. I just don't like how that looks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I actually think I probably like a bodysuit best being worn by itself with no pants, like a leotard. Like that's actually the coolest way to wear it, I think. But again, that's not really socially acceptable. But I kind of think sort of the pantsless trend that we've seen mainly in high fashion, not as much in real life over the past few years is fun and exciting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Tagwalk is an app that basically just shows you runway collections, like fashion runway collections. It's actually really an incredible app. You can look up a fashion show that happened 10 years ago from a certain designer and you can find it on this app and look through it. There's professional images. Like, you get to see everything, right? So...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I've participated in it a few times. I went to a runway show probably a year ago now wearing sort of what I'm describing right now, like kind of like a bodysuit, a leotard almost with no pants. And I absolutely loved it. I also like probably a little over a year ago wore no pants to an event. I wore sort of like a leather underwear to a red carpet event.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
That doesn't really, you know, fall under the category of bodysuit, but it does fall under the category of no pants. And I quite enjoyed it. I thought it looked cool. I thought it was fun. But on both of those occasions, I'm wearing those outfits wearing in very specific environments where I can wear whatever I want.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Cause that's part of the point of the event is like, get dressed up in fashion trends from the runway for this event. Right. So it's a very hyper specific, like if I, you know, didn't go to those events, I would not have an opportunity to wear those types of looks. Right. So I enjoy it. I enjoy a leotard, a bodysuit by itself for those types of rare occasions.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But again, on a day-to-day basis, I don't get to wear that and I don't like the way it looks with pants. So I'm just not a fan. But I think the concept is timeless. I think the concept of... not wearing pants with it is not timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Because again, I don't think there will ever come a time where it's socially acceptable to go to school in a leotard, unless you're a gymnast and you have gymnastics practice at your school. You know what I'm saying? And even then, I think your teacher is going to tell you to put sweatpants over it. You know what I'm saying? It's never going to be normal, I don't think.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
So yeah, the whole pantsless trend, I think, is not timeless. But I think, yeah, a bodysuit itself. Sure. It's timeless. Okay. Next lace. I saw so much lace on the red carpet. Lace is just the textile of the season. It seems to me, I feel like every day when I wake up, I love lace a little bit more. But I just felt delighted every single time I saw lace on the runway.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I was seeing lace tights, lace bodysuits, slash lace leotards, if you will, lace gloves, lace tops, lace leggings, like lace everywhere. Lace was happening. Lace could not be avoided. Everywhere I looked, I saw lace everywhere. Not only do I know that lace is timeless, okay? I don't think it's up for debate. I think it is absolutely timeless. I think its recent applications are even more timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I don't think I saw one bad use of lace. I looked at 50 runway shows. Not one use of lace was bad. I liked it in every single application. Now, there are times when I don't like lace. Don't get me wrong. In fact, up until recently, I didn't love lace. I really didn't love it. I was often disappointed when I saw it. It was often used in ways that I disliked.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But as time has gone on, I've seen more and more uses of lace that I love. And then over the last week, seeing it be used in so many beautiful ways on the runway. Now I'm obsessed with lace. I love lace. Where's the lace in my closet? I don't have any. That's fine. If I find something beautiful that's lace, I might pick it up, but I'm not searching for it. I'll let it find me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I am sort of manifesting a pair of little lace gloves though, because I saw some lace gloves on the runway and I was like, that is really good. Also lace tights, though. I really enjoy lace tights. Personally, I'm less interested in like a lace bodysuit, even like a lace top. I really like lace being like a subtle detail, like a subtle texture addition.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like, yeah, lace tights, lace socks, lace gloves, little peeps of lace here and there. Perhaps like a lace turtleneck that could be layered underneath other clothing. That could be kind of interesting, too. But I prefer it more as like a subtle detail. But either way, I even love it when it's a main detail. I just think it's great. And I'm into it right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I just thought it was delightfully done time and time again. So I guess in conclusion, lace is timeless and I'm manifesting some lace gloves. I briefly pause this episode of Anything Goes to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Squarespace. You know when a website looks insanely good and actually works? That's probably Squarespace.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
When I'm on the toilet, when I'm laying in bed, exhausted, needing a little bit more dopamine from a scroll before I go to sleep, instead of going on YouTube Shorts now, I go on this app, Tagwalk, and look at current runway collections. At a certain point, I'm going to run out of current runway collections to look at, and I'm going to have to go back into the archive. But there are so many...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And when you're ready, use squarespace.com slash Emma for 10% off your first website or domain. Now let's get back to the episode. Speaking of lace, I saw a lot of lingerie on the runway, like lingerie being styled, I feel like, as clothing that you could wear out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I think lingerie itself is timeless, like the classic sort of, here we go again with the lace, you know, lace, silk, underwear, you know, lace silk bra, bras in shapes that are classic, um, and sort of beautiful in a way, you know, the, the bras that I wear when I really have to wear a bra are absolutely hideous. Okay. But they do the trick, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
They're smoothing, they smooth everything out, but they're not sexy by any means. They're I feel honestly, I don't feel hot when I wear them. So, you know, when we think of these bras that are on the runway, it's like a beautiful bra, right? Not as comfortable and definitely doesn't look as good under clothes, but it's beautiful on its own.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You know, it has underwire and boning that like makes it look really structured and, you know, beautiful. And like, again, you know, the materials are using lace and silk. It's like really luxurious. And then, the colors tend to be classic, white, black, red. I mainly saw white and black. But yeah, that is timeless. I think that type of lingerie is timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
To be honest with you, I've never owned lingerie. To me, it gets in the way. That's my opinion. To me, it gets in the way. I prefer less stuff going on. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh my God, I'm about to TMI so much. People are going to judge me and they're going to be like, Emma, do you forget that like people listen to this? Yes, I do forget because I'm just alone in my office right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
So I'm just saying shit. I didn't wear underwear for like three years and I fucking loved it, okay? And no, it wasn't like some sort of like sexual thing. It was just, I liked the feeling. In retrospect, I have no clue how I did that because it seems so uncomfortable to me now because now I wear underwear again. I wear granny panties now. Full ass, full ass covered granny panties.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I avoid wearing a bra as much as possible. My point of this is, lingerie to me is like constricting. I feel constricted by that. It's not comfortable. It's not sexy. It's not fun. It doesn't feel good. It's getting in the way. And I'd rather just be nude. Do you know what I'm saying? Anyway, I went on a little TMI tangent, which happens sometimes. But let's go back to the point, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Styling lingerie is in, okay? Styling it as clothing, not as lingerie. For wearing out, is this trendy or timeless? It's trendy. The concept of wearing undergarments as clothing, I think inevitably is trendy because again, I think that modesty... goes in and out of style. I think there are periods of time when it's more trendy to be sort of risque. And I think that's fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
There's nothing wrong with that. But I think being risque ends up feeling... What's fun about it a lot of times, I'm not saying all the time, but I think a lot of the times what's fun about being risque is that it's edgy. It's going against the grain. And then
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
at a certain point when it becomes trendy and everyone's doing it, I think then it's like, wait, I don't really feel like, not as really drawn to this anymore. And then, you know, it kind of falls out of favor for a bit. And then it comes back in. Although I'm thinking about it now and I'm like, because lingerie itself, right? Like just lingerie in general is timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like the design of it is timeless. I am sort of conflicted on whether or not just wearing it is timeless, even though it's sort of risque and that goes in and out of style because lingerie is timeless. Is it sort of timeless? I don't know. I'm kind of conflicted. I'm going to go ahead and say no.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
runway shows happening all the time that there's a lot of stuff to look at. And I love analyzing that. I'm actually having an incredible time. And I really don't think it's toxic. I actually think this is a valid replacement for YouTube shorts that is not unhealthy. I think
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I'm going to go ahead and say that the actual design of lingerie itself is timeless, but styling it and having it exposed is not. And I'm not fully sold on that, but that's what I'm going to say. Okay. Moving on. I saw quite a few 60s mod patterns. Okay. Kind of like quirky retro looking patterns.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like if you were to look up on Google right now, quirky retro patterns, you would see a bunch of 60s mod patterns. And I saw a handful of those on the runway. I saw it enough times to be like, to me, that's a trend. I'm seeing a trend here. I do not think the patterns are timeless. Every few years, they're cool again and they're in again. But then so quickly, they're out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And wearing a 60s mod pattern looks like a Halloween costume. It looks like You're dressing up like a 60s mod girl, like you're being Twiggy for Halloween or something. Twiggy, the iconic 60s mod model queen. I don't know. I do not think that it's timeless. In fact, I think it's one of the only elements of the 60s mod aesthetic that is not timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I think the 60s mod silhouettes, sort of boxier clothing, simple silhouettes, timeless. But the 60s mod patterns, I'm sorry, not timeless. I think a lot of patterns are trendy. Not all. There are a few patterns that I think are timeless. I think patterns definitely come in and out of style.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
One phone that has all of the social media apps downloaded that I keep in my office on the floor for moments when I need to post on social media. And then I have another phone that has no social media apps downloaded on it except for YouTube because I have a soft spot for YouTube. that I carry around all the time that is used mainly for utility purposes, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like patterns will have their moment, you know, but I think that there are some that even when they're not having their moment are not repulsive. Let me give you an example of another trendy pattern, and then I'll give you an example of a timeless pattern, okay? Another trendy pattern would be checkerboard print. When it's in, it's all anybody wants.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And then the second it's out, it's actually repulsive. And even looking at it will make anybody who remotely likes fashion or cares about it nauseous. Nausea. Like I loved checkerboard print in 2019. By 2021, it made me sick. Now, some timeless patterns would be stripes, polka dots, plaid. I mean, it depends on the plaid.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
There's definitely some plaids that are not timeless, but I would say like classic plaid. I'm sorry, you can't go wrong. That's timeless. Those are a few examples. Those always work. You can always make those work. I mean, I predict that stripes and polka dots this year are going to be massive. I think that they're going to be the patterns of the year.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like when we look back on 2025, we're going to remember polka dots. We're going to remember stripes. But I think that they're timeless. Plaid? Come on, it's plaid. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's plaid. You can't hate it. You either hate it or you don't. Like, plaid was really trendy a few years ago, and I really loved it then. And then it sort of maybe went out of style a little bit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I'm equally as satisfied from this activity, but I don't think it's destroying me in my attention span like YouTube shorts did. Short form content is just not good for the brain. It's overstimulating. It causes anxiety. I'm already anxious. The last thing I need is short form content in my day-to-day routine. So I'm loving this, okay? And I've been loving this for like the past week.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I still love plaid, you know? Whereas, like, checkerboard print, I really loved it, and then I fucking hated it. I don't know. Anyway, back to 60s mod, sort of retro-y patterns. Hell nah. Okay, next. I cannot tell you how many pairs of flip-flops I saw on the runway. It was unbelievable. There were so many flip-flops. There were pairs of regular flip-flops, just normal average flip-flops.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
There were little high-heeled flip-flops. There were little wedged flip-flops. There were flip-flops that were almost like a boot flip-flop, like where I've actually been seeing those for the last few years. That is not new, but alas, I saw it on the runway. where it's like a flip-flop, but then the top extends up the leg. Does that make sense? It's okay if it doesn't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
They're kind of weird looking anyway. You're not missing that much. You probably wouldn't buy them anyway. You know, it's all good. I just kept seeing flip-flops over and over and over and over again. And it's funny because for many years, I absolutely hated flip-flops, like despised them, thought that they were hideous, would not be caught dead in a flip-flop. And then...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I got reintroduced to the idea of a flip-flop when I sort of had this epiphany that a flip-flop might actually be cute during the summer. It might. A little classic leather rainbow flip-flop, okay? Not rainbow like color rainbow, but the brand rainbow, okay? If you don't know what the brand Rainbow is, it's a brand of like classic surfer flip flops. They're just classic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
They have like a little rainbow tag on them. It's like super cute, super like California surfer vibe. Hawaii surfer vibe. Very nostalgic for me. You know, I like dreamed of having a pair of rainbow flip flops when I was young and I eventually got a pair and I absolutely love them. I think I got a hand me down for my cousins. Like they had rainbow flip flops and then pass them down to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
They were like a pinkish beige color and I was obsessed with them. Okay. They were so cool. So like surfer girl, California surfer girl vibes. I adored it. And a few summers ago I was like, wait, that's kind of a vibe. And so I wore rainbow flip-flops the whole summer. I don't know, like kind of in like a wannabe surfer girl way. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I cannot surf, but I can wear cute little leather flip-flops. And I did. And so that kind of got me back into the world of the flip-flop. Okay. Cause I was really against it. I thought that they were unflattering. I thought that they were like impossible to style. I was super closed off to them beforehand. So that kind of wore me back up to them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And then recently I bought a pair of like plain black flip-flops. I was on a trip to my hometown and my dad's a surfer, actually. He's actually like a good surfer. He's not like surfing big, huge, huge waves, but he's a surfer. He surfs almost every single day. And on this trip home, I decided to surf with him. It went terribly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I had like a mental breakdown every single time that we surfed because I was so overwhelmed and scared and I hate the feeling of a wetsuit. But I didn't bring any flip flops on the trip. And so I had to buy a pair and I bought a pair of just like plain black ones. I wear these flip flops.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
So often I mainly wear them to my hot yoga classes because it's just like not fun to put a sock on in a shoe after you just sweat for an hour. Like that's disgusting. But I've actually ended up styling them as well. Like I think that they look quite cute with, you know, like a little capri or, you know, with like a little yoga pant, like a little like a sort of chic athletic pant. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
They can even like weirdly look cute with jeans. Like I'm kind of into it. I'm kind of into the flip flop. And if you would have asked me a few years ago if I thought a flip-flop was timeless, I think I would have said no. But I actually do think a flip-flop is timeless. I think the concept of the shoe, right, is timeless. Do I think every single pair of flip-flop shoes are timeless? No.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But I would say the concept of the flip-flop, okay? A little post going between your two big toes and then a strap, two straps going over the top of your foot like that as a concept is timeless. That will never go away. And I think when styled in a cool way or when designed really well, it is a timeless shoe. Do I think that there were a lot of really trendy flip-flops going on on the runway?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Yes. I think the flip-flop that is sort of like a boot flip-flop where it goes up the leg a little bit, that to me is trendy. Again, it's a bit weird looking. It's a bit funky. And I actually think it's kind of cool. It's okay. Again, I'm not obsessed with it, but I'm also not against it. I definitely don't hate it. But I just can't ever imagine that being anyone's staple shoe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
We'll see how long it lasts. But in this last week, I've consumed more runway fashion than I probably ever have in my life. And not only am I having an incredible time, but it's exciting because I'm noticing trends. Like I'm seeing things happen. You know, when you're observing every single runway show,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Usually when you want to expose your toes, it's because the weather's warm. The weather's warm. You want to slip your shoe on and off easily. And a lot of times shoes that are easy to slip on and off have an open toe. But now if you turn it into more of a shoe, more of a boot, half the reason why you would wear an open-toed shoe to begin with, a flip-flop to begin with, is now kind of ruined.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Because it's now a boot flip-flop. Yeah, it's just sort of like a pointless shoe, right? It's like half winter, half summer. You're exposing the toes, but you're covering the leg. If it's a hot summer day, it's 90 degrees, and you want to put on your flip-flops, but you have flip-flop boots, that's not very comfortable. You know? I don't know. I...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But I think like a little kitten heel flip-flop is for the most part timeless. I think like weird flip-flop wedges, like let's relax. That's trendy. That is not going to last, you know. I think majority of flip-flops are timeless, but be careful out there. Okay, next we have another shoe. Knee-high sneakers. I saw this multiple times on multiple runways.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
To me, these are an absolute catastrophe and they are unforgivable. Yeah, they are. Yes, they are. They are unforgivable to me. They are atrocious to me. And I don't say that about a lot of stuff. I really don't. Like, I don't know. It takes a lot for me to call something atrocious. A knee-high sneaker to me is one of the worst things I've ever seen. And I never liked it, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like back in the day when I was a kid, like when I was eight, it was trendy to, you know, get the knee-high Converse. Remember that? I hated them back then. I hate them now. I'll tell you why I hate them. Okay. I'm not just like, oh my God, it's ugly. I hate it. No, I genuinely have like reasons for hating it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Number one, from a functional standpoint, you cannot get your foot into a knee high sneaker without a zipper, but there are laces all up the front. So it's an illusion. The point of laces on shoes is are to fasten the shoes once you get your foot in there. But you usually loosen the laces and then get your foot in. So it's already a little bit silly in that way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But to give the shoe the benefit of the doubt, I'm going to look at it as though it's like a boot. There are sometimes lace-up boots that also have a zipper. But the idea is that you put your foot in, zip up the shoe, and then tighten it even more with the laces. So Even though sneakers are more of a utilitarian shoe, like, you know, the laces are for tightening the shoe, fastening the shoe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
If the shoe doesn't need to be fastened or tightened, it usually will have like a little bit of elastic. So you're slipping your foot in to a shoe that has elastic and there is no laces. There's never like a zipper to zip something up and then faux laces. Like if a sneaker doesn't need a lace, it's not going to have laces. It'll somehow fasten or close in another way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Elastic, Velcro, something else. But like a sneaker is a functional shoe, okay? A boot is more of a beautiful shoe. Like it's also more of a complex shoe, right? Like it's made often out of a stiffer material. The idea of zipping up a boot in the back and then tightening it in the front to me doesn't feel as ridiculous, right? But I think it's because that's the nature of a boot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
you do start to notice the trends and the patterns and the things that are clearly in right now. I mean, I've gone to Fashion Week many times and I don't see nearly as much stuff because I can only physically go to so many shows. Sitting on the toilet and scrolling on Tag Walk, the app, has exposed me to more fashion than I've ever been exposed to in my life. And I'm having an incredible time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
It's just a more complex shoe. Right. And in order to fasten it, it's just more complicated. But like the whole point of a sneaker, I feel like is that it's like a functional shoe. Right. So if now you have a knee high sneaker that you could never possibly get on unless there was a zipper. Now it's just making the whole concept of the sneaker goofy. It's just extreme. And now it's a gimmick to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Okay, in addition to that, it is perhaps one of the most unflattering shoes on the planet. A sneaker is pretty narrow, right? So the foot is pretty small on a knee-high sneaker. The foot's small. And the shoe comes all the way up to the knee. But it looks imbalanced because when you have a shoe that comes all the way up to the knee... it sort of brings like attention to your calves, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
It takes up a lot of space. You know what I'm saying? Like it's bulky, it's there. And that sometimes looks good, like in the case of a boot, but it looks good in the case of a boot because a lot of times the base of the boot is a bit more robust, is a bit stronger. Whereas a sneaker is like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
small and weak at the bottom and it just there's something about like a small and weak little foot in a little sneaker and then the entire calf being covered with fabric it just it's unflattering it makes the foot look small it makes the calf look wide and it makes the leg look short I'm not sure exactly why but it does whereas like a boot with a strong you know
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
boxy toe perhaps and like a strong sole and like, you know, a thicker sort of heel and then a strong sort of situation on the leg, either something really tight or something more rigid that purposefully gapes a little bit. Like, I don't know. It just, it's a more balanced shoe. The knee high sneaker is so unbalanced and it looks horrible to me on everyone. No one is safe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Literally the hottest of the hot to me doesn't look good in the knee high sneaker. Bella Hadid, you're so hot. Don't put on the knee high sneaker. You know what I'm saying? Like Kendall Jenner. so hot. Don't put on the knee high. Like no one is safe. No one should put on the knee high sneaker. I don't care how hot and how beautiful and how tall you are. It doesn't matter.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
We're not ever going to wear a knee high sneaker. Moving on. I saw a lot of cowboy boots with a pointed toe. I wasn't seeing like cowboy boots, like Oh, I just went to Boot Barn and bought a pair of cowboy boots. If you don't know what Boot Barn is, it's like a cowboy store. And I just went to it for the first time because over the holidays, multiple of my loved ones had weird shoes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
unique reasons to go to Boot Barn. There were multiple people around me who were like, wait, I want to see if they have any just plain black boots. And then someone else was like, wait, actually, this is weird. And I don't even know if I want one, but I kind of want to look at a cowboy hat because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was very random.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
So I ended up going to a place I never thought I would go, Boot Barn. They sell cowboy boots. They sell cowboy hats. They sell cowboy, cowboy, cowboy. I actually have sort of a cowboy in my family. My grandpa on my mom's side is kind of a cowboy and used to make horseshoes like he was a blacksmith. So like in this shit's in my blood. Okay. I should be going into boot barn. Like I'm home.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
It didn't feel that way. I was very overwhelmed. It smelled like leather. I found a pair of boots. I actually did like, like a plain black pair of, I don't know, like kind of motorcycle boots. They're just classic, but I decided against them. I was like, you know what, Emma, you already have something similar and you just don't need them. But anyway, um, just went to boot barn.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
What I saw on the runway over the last week is not what I saw at Boot Barn. Okay, the boots at Boot Barn are like classic cowboy boots. You know, a lot of them are beige. You know, there's like sort of this classic, almost floral looking embroidery that a lot of cowboy boots have.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
A lot of times they have the notch, like the sort of not notches, but I guess like zigzag embroidery on top of the toe. Like there's a lot of... similarities between cowboy boots. They have a lot of key characteristics. Majority of those characteristics did not show up on the runway. However, enough of them did that I would consider these boots to be cowboy boots. Okay. Number one, pointed toe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Anyway, let me get to the point, okay? Over the last week, I've really gotten caught up in current fashion. And I've noticed a lot of trends. And I want to analyze them with you. I want to analyze the trends that are on the runway now and discuss whether I think they're trendy or timeless.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Okay. Not all cowboy boots are pointed toe, but a lot of them are. So that's number one. Number two, sort of the Part of the boot that is on your calf, right? I don't even know what you'd call that. Like the neck of the boot? Like the top of the boot? I don't know what you'd call it. On the runway, a lot of them had that sort of rounded shape at the top that is very much cowboy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And the seams were sort of in the same places. However, the colors on the runway were were very different. You know, a lot of them had elements that sort of made them look not cowboy like they were all black leather or all white leather or they were. painted or whatever. Um, but that shape I saw multiple times, particularly for men. And to be honest, I do think that this is timeless. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Some people might disagree with me because a pointed toe boot, you know, it can be hit or miss, but I'm going to go ahead and say it's timeless because I do think that at any point in history, you can style a goddamn simple cowboy boot and make it happen and make it fucking happen. You know,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Weirdly enough, I think the sort of pointy toe, almost cowboy boots that I saw on the runway, to me, because they're more simple and more versatile than the classic cowboy boot, you know, they aren't as Western feeling. They're vaguely Western, but they're actually more simple in a way, like they don't have the embroidery feel.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
they don't immediately read as cowboy boots, which kind of makes them super specific and niche immediately to what they are, right? I actually think that because of that, they're even more timeless than a classic cowboy boot because a lot of the ones I saw were like, It's very simple, almost like a modern, simplified, more neutral take on a cowboy boot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Although I do think I saw a neon yellow pair, if I can remember correctly, and those are not timeless. And neon yellow, anything to me is a catastrophe. And I do not like... Actually, no, there are moments when it works, but for the most part, I'm not into it. And Something like that is not timeless, but I actually quite like these boots and I think that they're pretty versatile and flexible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And so I'm going to go ahead and say for the most part, timeless. I love a little vaguely Western looking pointy boot. Okay. Next, I saw a lot of skinny little dainty belts. Okay. I've actually been seeing these for a while now, but I just kept seeing them. So I feel like it'd be weird if I didn't mention them. I'm going to keep this short and sweet, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Just like Sabrina Carpenter, short and sweet. Skinny little belts are timeless. They just are. They're timeless. They always look good. They always look chic. You know, a belt oftentimes overpowers the waist area. I really love the way that a little thin sort of belt looks. It's just chic and it's elegant and it's not overpowering. And I don't know, I think when it's done right, it looks so good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I've been seeing it time and time again, and it's still happening. But I think for good reason, because it just... It allows you to sort of cinch the waist in a delicate way. And most belts are not delicate, are not sort of precious. But I think a skinny little belt can be so precious and so elegant as well. Like belts are not often elegant, in my opinion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And this is actually a series here on Anything Goes called Trendy or Timeless, where we take fashion and discuss together whether we think it's trendy or timeless. And you can't tell me because I can't hear you. So it's sort of actually just one-sided. I'm just telling you if I think it's trendy or timeless. But I'd like to think that it's a conversation. It's not. It's one-sided.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
In fact, like it makes sense that they're not elegant, right? A belt is used to, you know, make pants that maybe don't quite fit properly, fit properly. And when I think of elegance, I think of every single seam being perfectly placed on the body. I think of like clothing fitting absolutely perfectly. And so the concept of like, oh, actually something does not fit properly is
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Therefore, one must wear a belt. That is the opposite of elegance. Is that bad? Is that ugly? Is that? No, no, I don't think so. I think there's moments when belts look super cool. There are moments when belts are actually serving a purpose. And they look super cool. Like pants are too big and you're wearing with a belt with it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And like, that's sometimes the vibe, but nobody's ever saying it's elegant. It's definitely not. And I think it's cool how a little, you know, dainty belt can actually be elegant. And it's kind of the only belt that can, which I think in my opinion that can. And so I just, I love a little dainty belt. I don't own any, but I like them. That leads me to neon yellow, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I saw a lot of neon yellow and I already said earlier that everything that is neon yellow, I almost hate. There actually were a few things that were more of like a booger yellow. Like they were less neon yellow and more like neon booger yellow. For some fucking reason that I cannot explain, the only neon color that I weirdly kind of like is like a neon booger yellow green.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
more leaning towards green but could read as yellow but like technically is sort of like a neon green booger yellow green it's the only neon color i don't hate i i there's something about it that i like like sort of alien green okay and i saw some of that as well so there's kind of a mix between like neon yellow and neon booger green alien yellow and green yellow green it's hard to say
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I do kind of like that. So like, but I don't think any neon is timeless. I have a hard time with that. Like full neon, it's not timeless to me. It's just too loud. It's too loud. And if it becomes too popular, it just gets annoying. You get to a point where you're like, neon's not even fun to look at anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like at first it was fun to look at because it's so bright and wow, that's so beautiful. But then you get sick of the saturation and you're like, this is just becoming annoying. I don't know. At least that's what happens to me. Anyway, neon is not timeless, but I do enjoy like a neon alien booger green. I have to say it. Moving on. A lot of mesh in sheer sort of synthetic fabric. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I do think that mesh in general, and I'm talking about like mesh that's like, not like wide mesh, but like really narrow mesh, like just like a, a shirt that's sort of see-through, but it doesn't have like holes in it. It's like mesh in a way where it looks like one solid piece of fabric, but you can see straight through it. Right. That's what I'm talking about with mesh.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I actually saw mesh used in some very beautiful ways. that were very elegant, very beautiful. My only concern is that mesh does tend to defeat the purpose of clothing, right? The purpose of clothing is to cover your body, stay warm, you know, express yourself as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But first and foremost, you're covering up your genitalia and you are staying warm depending on the weather or cooling off depending on the weather. So that means wearing less, you know, but either way, It's usually about function first. And the challenging thing about mesh is that you can see your nipples through it. You can see your belly button through it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But it feels to me like a conversation. Without further ado, this is trendy or timeless. This is what I've been seeing on the runway. Let's get into it. Let's start out with shirts being worn incorrectly. Shirts where like the neckline, okay, where the neckline would be. is pulled down.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You know, you can see your butt crack through it. You can see everything. And on the runway, a lot of times you do see nipple. And again, like you can't wear that very many places. So that sort of makes it challenging. But I do think overall, despite that red flag, it is timeless because I think that there's always a way to utilize mesh.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like at any given moment, you can figure out a way to make mesh work. You know what I'm saying? I think unlike, say something that's a wider mesh, like a fishnet tight, you know, unlike a fishnet tight that I think is more trendy because it's just, it's such like a statement. It's so, it's very, it's a loud sort of piece.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Mesh is so versatile and it's so buildable that I do think that it kind of always works. But I do think that there are moments where it's super trendy. And I think right now is one of those moments. Next, I saw a lot of snake print. I hate it. I really don't like it. I saw a lot of snake print and I just couldn't stand it. Every single time I saw it, I said, wow, that's a shame.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
That's a real shame because it's just not good. I think I personally don't like it because... I don't know. I find like this sort of exotic like animal prints like snake, alligator, zebra, leopard. It feels so, I don't know, to me like an exotic fabric or pattern feels sort of gaudy. flamboyant. You know, it's loud and it's like, look at me and look.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I mean, those patterns, though now for the most part, you know, being faux, right? Not actually coming from a snake. Well, I guess it depends on the brand, but, you know, not actually coming from a snake, not actually coming from a leopard, not actually coming from an alligator. You know, a lot of these things are often faux these days. I mean, again, it depends.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Some of the high-end brands still do use you know, the actual animal. But when it comes to going to Urban Outfitters or Zara or something like that, of course it's not real, right? And these trends tend to carry into these places. So anyway, but this sort of concept of like exotic furs and stuff like that
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
it goes back to, you know, the way that people showed off their wealth back in the day, long time ago. Like, hey, look at this, you know, rare animal that I'm wearing. That's how fucking rich I am. And I just think that because it's rooted in gaudiness and flamboyance, it's rooted in being like, oh, look at me, very wealthy in my snake skin, you know? And like that,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
So now the top is like a tube top, but the top of the tube top is actually where the neck of the shirt would normally be. Okay. And then the arms are tied around the waist. Okay. That's one example. Another example would be a shirt that has folded shirts sewed onto the front. okay? Imagine you're at a retail store and you see a bunch of shirts folded up on the shelf.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
sort of like flexing, flexing is not timeless. There are times when flexing is in and, you know, like showing off is in, and there are times when it's out. And I think right now, even it's out, which is kind of ironic because, you know, I'm seeing a lot of snake pattern all over the runway. But it's not necessarily being used in a super gaudy way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
It's not being paired with a snakeskin boot and a big, puffy leopard print jacket and big gold earrings. It's not being styled in that way. But it still reads like that to me. Even when it's paired with things that are more simple and subdued, I still feel like This just feels, I don't know, it like feels icky to me. There's something about it that's just icky to me. It gives me bad vibes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Yeah, I just don't love it. And I don't think it's timeless. I don't think any exotic animal patterns are timeless. Moving on to exaggerated body shapes. Okay, I saw some like big pointy shoulders and I saw a lot of big exaggerated hips that were built out using some sort of boning underneath the piece, like big exaggerated hips.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You know, I actually do think that exaggerating body shape is timeless. And I think it's a cool concept, you know, that like through clothing, you can in a way sort of reshape your body using, you know, various bonings and like little small sculptures inside of your clothing. You can now move around with a fully different shape. It's very cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like the idea that like you could wear a dress that has beautiful, you know, puffed up shoulders and like a beautiful wide skirt, right? And now when you walk around, you take up this space and you're demanding the attention of the room. Like there's something very cool about that. I like it. It's a great example of like, using fashion to sort of express yourself. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I think it's a cool concept. So I'm into it and I think it's timeless. Moving on to non-athletic leggings. Okay. I'm talking about like knit leggings, leggings that maybe are in some sort of like synthetic material, but wouldn't be worn for working out. Like they're fashion, fashion leggings, not timeless. I don't think so. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But in the same way that like wearing lingerie feels like you're kind of wearing your undergarments outside of the clothes. Like how can that be timeless if it's like not like socially, like it's not really socially acceptable. Like you can't really wear that around. Same thing with like leggings. Like leggings, I think up until somewhat recently, leggings were worn underneath clothing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And you would never wear your leggings out. You know what I'm saying? And I don't even think leggings fully existed until recently, but like a version of leggings existed, right? You know, whether it was tights or long johns or whatever for keeping warm. I don't know. I just think it does sort of feel like an undergarment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I'm not, I promise you, like I'm not somebody who is super, like I don't care about Like if somebody wants to walk around with their nipples out, I don't fucking care. I'm not super traditional. Like, oh, well, that's an undergarment and that should not be worn out. I'm just like looking at it from like a societal standpoint, not like I wore a bodysuit with no pants to a fashion show.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I wore leather underwear to a red carpet event. It's very clear that I don't give a fuck. You know, I've had my boobs almost out on multiple red carpets. OK, I've had a one inch piece of fabric around my chest holding my boobs in and that's it on a red carpet. Boobs fully out. Majority of the boob, you know, probably 70 percent of the boob out on a red carpet. I've done it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
So it's like I don't care. But when I'm trying to figure out if something is timeless, I have to consider its history. Like, would this have been acceptable 50, 100 years ago? Leggings? No. And so then that sort of begs the question, like, what's going to happen in the future?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You know, is modesty going to sort of come back in style and this will look choogy and weird and, you know, unsophisticated? Like, I don't know. But I do think overall a legging is... Like a legging for exercise, I think is timeless because it's serving a purpose, but like a legging for fashion, I'm not so sure. And I could be wrong and we could be sort of in a new era.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And for the rest of time, you know, a legging might always be able to be styled properly, but it's, I just feel like they're so tight in revealing and hard to style and make look good. I just have a really hard time believing that they're timeless. I feel like I remember them being trendy in the 2010s and then they went out in such a big way and nobody dared to touch a legging.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Now, imagine you were to take that shirt that's folded and sew that onto the front of a shirt. I've seen that. I've seen, you know, shirts that have another shirt sewn on the front of it and it's kind of falling off. I'm just seeing a lot of this. Like, weird, deconstructed shirts. Shirts reimagined, okay? I'm seeing this everywhere.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And now they're sort of starting to come back. But I really feel like everyone hated them for a long time. And yeah, I just, I don't know. I don't know about the legging. I'm going to say not timeless, except for for exercise. We got to wear our leggings, but yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong about that one. And last but not least, painted fabric, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Painted fabric in the way that it's supposed to look painted, okay? Like, I'm not talking about fabric that, like, for example, leather, which I guess is kind of a type of fabric, being... painted so that the leather is now a different color, but you can't see that it's painted. It looks seamless and smooth. I'm talking about paint that looks like paint, right? Like you can see smudges.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You can see imperfections. There's clumps of paint. There's blotches missing paint, but then there's other parts with lots of paint. Like it looks painted. I've seen that, but I've also seen like spray paint where like something looks spray painted. But again, it looks like paint. Like the point of it is that it looks like there's paint on it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But not in the way of like something is distressed and so it has paint on it. Like not like, I don't know, I had this pair of cargo pants for many years that I actually did finally donate. But this pair of like beige tan cargo pants had like fabricated paint on it, like fake paint. But like only just little dots as though I was a painter and I had gotten a little bit of paint on the pants, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
That is not the trend that I'm talking about, okay? I'm not talking about like, manufactured organic distressing like that. Okay. I'm talking about like, it is a design choice to take paint and like paint all over the garment and then have it be imperfect. And like, that is the garment looks like it was painted by a person, not like paint accidentally got on the garments.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Let's be clear about that. To be honest, I quite like it. I actually quite like it. I don't think I own anything that is painted like that, although absolutely insane story time that I'm mortified to tell. And honestly, I don't know why I'm telling it right now. Maybe I should save the story for later, but...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I got a new laptop and I was like, I am so fucking bored of having the same exact design on my laptop, which by the way, is the design that Apple created. Okay. Which is a great design, by the way, big fan of Apple. Okay. Love the company. But I was just sick of like, I've been looking at the same sort of laptop for so many years. And I was like, I just want something different.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I want, you know, to decorate it in some sort of way that's interesting. But I was sort of stumped for a bit because I didn't want to go buy a bunch of stickers and put stickers on it because that's, to me, it reminds me of like being a middle schooler because that's what I did with my laptop in middle school. It just, it didn't feel right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I don't know, like buying like a snap-on sort of case, like that's cool, but that wasn't personalized enough. I was like, I want to do something personalized. I want to personalize my laptop. And I was online and I was like on some sort of shopping website. I don't even remember which. And I came across these Margiela boots, right? And the Margiela boots were painted white.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
They were black boots with white paint on it. And you could see the black boot coming through because the paint was sort of imperfect. And I had bought the black laptop. So I was like, hmm, what if I painted all white paint on my black laptop and let the black sort of peep through sort of like this Margella boot? And so I got out some acrylic paint. I Googled it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I was like, what paint works on a laptop? And it said acrylic, which actually ended up not being true. But I'll get to that part of the story later. Anyway, painted all over it with white. I was like, that looks actually not bad. Like I kind of liked it. But then I was like, what if I painted an Apple on top of the Apple logo that looks like a real Apple. So then I did that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I saw this at least in three of the recent shows that I looked at. To me, this is not timeless, okay? This is absolutely not timeless. Do I think that it's sometimes interesting and cool looking? Yes. But I have a really hard time with something that truly serves no purpose, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And then I fell in love with it. Then it started to chip off immediately. And I was like, fuck. So then I bought a plastic case and put it on there. And now it's safe. My painting on my laptop is safe. It is so weird that I did that. But that was inspired by the Margiela boot that is all painted or whatever. So it's clear that I do like this, right? Do I think it's timeless? Probably not.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
No, I don't think so. Because again, I think such a strong design choice like that, such a strong choice of material, choosing to paint stiff paint onto clothing, choosing to make the texture that imperfect, just the overall look of it, I think is so extreme that it is not timeless, but I like it enough that I fully painted on my goddamn laptop. So clearly I like it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
A laptop that like, I, it's like a brand new laptop. And I'm like, I'm just going to paint on it. It was, it was crazy. It was a crazy thing to do. It was very weird. But yeah, I like it. But I don't think it's timeless. But I do think it's actually a cool way to potentially upcycle pieces of clothing that you have that you're bored of.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like if you have a pair of black boots that have like a big scuff on them and you're like, fuck, like I don't know how to fix this like big scuff. Maybe you take it in and they're like, eh, like you should probably just buy a new pair of boots like this pair of boots, the big scuff. is kind of too big, can't fix it, you know, sorry. But the boots are still totally good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You could take a bunch of paint and fucking paint on them and give them a whole new look and it'll look fucking cool. So, you know, I think there's a lot of value in that trend. I actually quite like it. I actually tried to do that once with jeans and I actually did wear them a few times, but I think my choice of paint and my paint job was not great. And so...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
They did not stand the test of time for me. Anyway, that's all I have to say. That is it for today's episode of Trendy or Timeless. I hope that you enjoyed it. And if you did, tune in to Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. I do Trendy or Timeless every once in a while, but I also do other fun stuff. So tune in if you'd like. Anything Goes is on YouTube now, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But as always, we're on Spotify and all of the other platforms that you stream podcasts. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is available at chamberlaincoffee.com, at Chamberlain Coffee on social media and in Target, Sprouts, Whole Foods and more stores near you. Check the store locator if you want to find us in store.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
That's all I have for today. I love you all and I appreciate you all. And if it was up to me, I would just talk about fashion every day. I don't know why I love talking about it so much. I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about. What am I even saying? You know what I'm saying? I'm just fucking saying shit. I'm just yapping, yapping, yapping about God knows what.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I'm pulling shit out of my ass. But let me tell you, there's nothing I love more. I just love it. And I appreciate you hanging out with me while I do it. That's all I got. All right. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And I'll talk to you all very, very soon. Goodbye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like, okay, so when the shirt is being worn improperly like this, or, you know, there's a double shirt element happening, like, a shirt sewn onto another shirt, it's not making the shirt easier to wear. It doesn't make the shirt more attractive, right? Like it's not serving any purpose at all. It's not as comfortable. It's not as functional of a garment. And it actually doesn't look better.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And for a long time, this worked for me. My social media addiction was cured. But then I discovered YouTube Shorts. And over the last few months, my addiction to YouTube Shorts has now just completely erased all of the work I've done to manage my social media addiction. So yes, I did have to delete YouTube off of my phone because I could not go to the bathroom without scrolling on YouTube Shorts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like, I think an alternative to this that is timeless would be like layering three shirts, but wearing them properly. OK, so an example of that would be like wearing a white long sleeve T-shirt. with a beige short sleeve t-shirt over that with like a dark gray tank top over that, okay? You're wearing three shirts at once. You can see that. There's a lot of shirts going on. But it fits good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
You know, it looks clean. It looks cool. In fact, I love that. Like, that's something I really love right now is layering a fuck ton of shirts. And the only challenge with it is that sometimes it's a bit uncomfortable if you're not layering the right kind of shirts.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like, you need to make sure that things aren't too tight and like the base layer is tight and then the middle layer is a little less tight and the top layer is... A little less tight, it's not the easiest thing to do, right? But when done right and when you have the right fitting pieces in your closet for it, it looks cool and it's actually quite comfortable. I think that that's great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But the idea of sewing a shirt onto another shirt and it's draping off and it looks kind of confusing and weird... It's not flattering. It's not structurally interesting. Like I haven't seen it done in a way that looks really good. It tends to look a bit awkward. And so I don't think it's timeless. Like I think it's probably exciting maybe every few years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Thank you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
you know, like taking the mundane and deconstructing and making it into something brand new, using, you know, duplicates of itself to make it interesting. Like I get that. I get the vision. I bet it happens every few years, but it seems to be back right now with tops. And I'm just not obsessed. I'm not obsessed with it. And I do think it's trendy. I don't think it's going to last much longer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I cannot say this for sure, but I bet it comes in every 10 years. Like I bet 10 years ago, this was on the runway. And I bet 10 years before that, this was on the runway. And in between, it was not. That's my guess. I could be totally fucking wrong. So do not take that as fact. And I have no clue what I'm talking about.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But I bet that this is something that just comes in like every 10 years when designers are feeling like they want to reinvent the basic, you know? Okay, next, I have been seeing so many fur coats. It felt like every runway show that I looked at had at least one fur coat. And even the shows that didn't have full fur coats... at least had fur details.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Fur around the neck, fur around the wrists, little fur details. I do think fur is timeless for the most part. I don't think there's any point in history over the last how many years where fur looked bad. I think there are times when fur looks bad, you know, if it's like a bright pink fur coat, that's obviously not timeless, but like a simple neutral fur coat, you kind of can't go wrong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I mean, I'm personally not super into it. It's not really my personal style, but I think when it comes to classic neutral fur, I think it's kind of timeless. I do. Majority of the coats that I saw were pretty neutral, but I did see some more extreme ones. Some leopard print, some perhaps in weird colors.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I'm not remembering perfectly, but because majority of them were neutral and timeless, I'm just going to say overall that the fur coat is timeless. Because I think, yes, it can be not timeless, but it's because it's deviating from the classic, right? And majority of what I'm seeing right now is classic. So I don't know. You probably won't catch me wearing a fur coat anytime soon.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I mean, if my stylist, Jared, and I decide, wait a minute, we want to wear a fur coat. Don't judge, okay? Because we're unpredictable when we're together and come up with weird ideas. But when it comes to my own wardrobe, when it comes to what I'm wearing on a daily basis, it's not a fur coat. It's just not. But I do think that they're timeless. Okay, next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I could not... go to sleep without watching at least a few YouTube shorts beforehand. Like I fully became addicted. And so I had to delete it off of my phone. I'm talking about my main phone, like the phone, the healthy phone that doesn't have all the social media apps on it. It's still downloaded on the unhealthy phone, but I don't go on that one. So on my main phone, I got nothing, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
This is a very oddly specific trend, so just stick with me. Semi-realistic photographic faces and bodies printed onto clothing. OK, like a dress that looks like it's see through and you can see the body through it. You know, a shirt that is printed in such a way that it looks like what a person wearing a cardigan would look like. Does that make sense?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like, OK, like the shirt looks like a 3D printed cardigan with like the folds in it. And like with the buttons sort of bent a little bit as though like a body is wearing the cardigan, but it's like 3D printed onto like a mesh shirt, okay? Or another example would be like a face, like somebody's face, like printed onto a garment, very large, like very large face, like printed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
I've seen quite a few variations, but I would say the most popular is almost like, maybe we should call it x-ray clothing. where it's like a 3D printed naked body printed onto a shirt or a dress. So it almost looks like the piece of see-through and you can see body, but it's just printed on. That's the most common. And I saw that time and time again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
But there were other versions of this too that I feel like are similar enough that I consider them to be the same. But that was the most common one. I think this is cool. I think it's smart. I think it's interesting. I think it's edgy. I think it's kind of tongue in cheek. It's like a bit silly. Sometimes it's sort of can either fall under like cool, edgy, badass. almost like smart ass.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like it kind of has one of two vibes. It's either kind of cool, edgy, smart ass, or it's silly, funny, sort of sweet, quirky. And I quite like it. I'm not obsessed with it. It's not like something I'm passionate about. But I like it. But I do not think it's timeless. I don't. Particularly the nude body, like the naked body trend where it looks like an x-ray is showing through the clothes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
That, I think, is trendy because it's not like you can wear that everywhere. Do you know what I'm saying? It's not super functional. And it is very edgy and like a statement. And I think... For that reason, it's just trendy. I also think it's trendy too, because I feel like modesty as well kind of comes in and out of style. And it's definitely not like a modest choice, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
When it comes to bodies sort of being printed onto clothing that are not nude, okay? Like the example I gave of this sweater, where it's almost like you took a photo of somebody wearing a sweater and then printed that onto a shirt, right? I think that that's a bit less trendy than the nude trend, but I think what's truly timeless is the sweater itself, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
Like I think the concept of printing one type of garment onto another, making a long sleeve t-shirt look like a long sleeve cardigan, I think that sort of concept is a bit silly, is a bit tongue in cheek,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
fur coats, snake print, and lace, trendy or timeless [video]
And I think even though it's, you know, maybe a bit more wearable than the nude trend, I think the fact that it is sort of a novelty, it is sort of like this sort of tongue in cheek, almost humorous sort of choice. I think the problem with a joke is that if you tell it over and over again, it gets old. And I think that's what happens with that. You know, it's funny the first few times you see it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I've noticed something about us as a society. We really know how to ruin a good thing. Yeah, we do. And we do it time and time again. We take something good and we completely obliterate the culture around it. And we completely sell it out. And we make it so corporate that it's unbearable. We really know how to ruin a good thing. Stick with me here. I'll give you an example, okay? The Stanley Cup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
The holidays are about eating together. It's about going into your closet 24 hours before Halloween and saying, what the fuck am I going to do? That's what the holidays are about. That's what makes it wholesome. You know, it's also, listen, it's also fun to participate in the corporate elements sometimes. Sometimes you want to go buy a fancy Halloween costume.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
You want to go buy, you know, a really expensive gift for a loved one. Sometimes that brings joy. Sometimes that's incredible. Sometimes that's magical. And that's why it's sort of complicated. It's like, like the holidays feel like a corporate event. It's up to us to make the holidays wholesome again. But it's hard to do that. I don't know. But I think the holidays are kind of awesome.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And like, I'm in a phase of my life now where I'm like, if it's a holiday, I'm gonna fucking celebrate, you know, like, This year, I set up a tree in my house, you know, which I had skipped for the last few years. I whipped out the board games. You know, I really spent a lot of time with family. And, you know, I don't know. I just I really leaned into it. Yeah, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I feel. Okay, moving on. Disneyland. I feel like now, if you want to go to Disneyland or Disney World or any sort of Disney theme park, people automatically are like, you're a Disney adult. What is a Disney adult? A Disney adult is an adult who absolutely loves Disney. Now, what's wrong with being a Disney adult, you may ask? Nothing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
But people are very judgmental of Disney adults. It's become sort of like almost an internet meme, okay? Like making fun of adults who enjoy Disneyland. And everyone's like, grow up, freak, you know? Disneyland is fun, okay? Disney World, I've never been, but it's probably really fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And I don't know exactly how it happened, how closely it relates to the Stanley Cup collectors, but I feel like Stanley Cups have become sort of associated with a level of chooginess in the way that we absolutely couldn't stand the Ugg boots immediately after Ugg boots were trendy in the early 2010s, or it was actually mid-2010s, or early to mid-2010s.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I think a lot of people write off how fun Disney theme parks are out of fear that by going there, they're a nerd, a freak, a Disney adult. There's nothing wrong with being a Disney adult. Also, being obsessed with something, like if you really love Disneyland, good for you. Thank God you have a hobby. Like, now than ever, we need to like things. We need to have hobbies. We're a very lonely...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Society, according to some articles I've seen, we have less friends than ever. We leave the house less than ever. We're more isolated than ever. For fuck's sake, we need hobbies. If you love Disneyland, you have something that you care about. You have something to get out and go do. You have something to make friends over, bond over with people. That's incredible. Disney is sort of magical.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
You know what it is? I haven't been to Disneyland in so many years. Actually, I really want to go. But like the fear to go to Disneyland every few years, to go to Disney World every few years, whatever, because it's like, oh, that's not cool. I just think that that's lame. And just like, shut the fuck up. Who cares? Good for them. Again, thank God they have a hobby.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I bet you don't have a hobby if you're shitting on Disney adults. And I think the judgment towards these people who absolutely love Disney is also getting in the way of the average person who vaguely enjoys Disney, but, you know, would probably enjoy a day at a theme park. Why not? It prevents those people from like being like, hey, I'll go give that a try.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
You know, I'll go spend the day at Disneyland. Fuck it. Why not? Could be fun. Very expensive, but could be fun, you know? Okay, I'll give an example. I recently said to a group of people like, oh, I want to go to Disneyland. And I got mixed responses. Some people were like, oh, fuck yeah, I'm down. And then other people were like, ew, no. And I'm like, ew, no? Why? Tell me why.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Is it because of the lines? Okay, that's fair. But it's never because of the lines. Is it because of the food? You don't like the food there? Hmm. The food's delicious. And also there's lots of, is it because it's expensive? That's fair. Oh, it's not because of that. It's never for a valid reason. There are many reasons to not like Disneyland, but that's never why people don't like it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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That's never why people don't want to go. It's because they're judging it. They think it's weird. They think it's nerdy because that's sort of the culture around it. But I think it's unfair. Moving on. Romantic love. I think there's like a lot of judgment around the concept of romance these days. Like the idea of two people being soulmates, falling in love, getting married, having a family.
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I feel like the general conversation around love is very pessimistic and very negative. If you see maybe a couple online, Honestly, even if you have a happy couple in your life, there's always sort of gossip like they're going to break up in a few years. They're going to get divorced in a few years. They're both desperate. They don't really love each other. Look at the way they look at each other.
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Like it doesn't even seem genuine. Oh, they got married. That's cringe and outdated. Like, ew, who gets married anymore? What are we living in the 1800s? True love doesn't exist, all this stuff.
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By the way, I have a podcast episode on this podcast, Anything Goes, called like Romantic Love is an Illusion or something, question mark, where basically I talk about how a lot of times I think romantic love is an illusion and we have, you know, intimate relationships with people that are maybe romantic, but we actually don't even really truly love each other, perhaps, right?
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Um, because I think depending on what your definition of love is, which is not just like feeling really affectionate towards somebody or feeling really attracted to somebody, it's a bit more complex. It's more about being like, I want this person to be happy no matter what, you know, like this person's happiness and wellbeing is, is important.
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and is my priority in this relationship above my own in a way. Like, if this person is going to be happier without me, then to love them is to let them go. Like, it's that sort of idea, right? And I think a lot of times we're in a romantic partnership with people and we don't fucking feel that way. We don't feel selfless at all towards that person, you know?
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And a lot of times we're experiencing lust or we're experiencing... you know, without even realizing it, gaining something else from the person, perhaps financial security, perhaps confidence, if it's somebody that we find attractive and they find us attractive, just that can simply make us feel like, oh, I must love this person.
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We all hated Ugg boots for a few years, thought they were absolutely hideous because they were so basic for a few years there. It's like the same thing with the Stanley Cup. It's become like a choogy cup. It's not cool to have that cup. It's sort of Karen coated. It's sort of, it's just a mess. The culture around the Stanley Cup has been ruined. And I think it's unfair.
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But it's like, no, they're just helping you build your confidence or actually giving you something else. So I've myself been pessimistic about romantic love before. I think there are many reasons to be sort of pessimistic or skeptical. I think it's good to be skeptical, pessimistic, less so. But I think it's like to be sort of skeptical, I don't think is wrong. Right.
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But I think there's this like understandable, but ultimately harmful pessimism when it comes to romantic love these days. I understand it. I completely get it because it is complicated. And a lot of times it doesn't work out. There isn't actually love between the two people. A lot of times people fuck up. They cheat on each other. They hurt each other really badly emotionally. It's not easy.
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You know what I'm saying? So that's why I understand why we're all so pessimistic about it. But I think we're at a point now where, as a society, in a way, we're so pessimistic about romantic love that it's like we're not even giving it a chance to exist in a way. Like, we don't even believe it exists anymore.
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It's only made worse by sort of hookup culture and stuff where the sort of trend in dating has been... less about commitment and more about sort of experimentation and just kind of enjoying the act of sex, which I think is fine. And if that's what works for you, that's what works for you. But I think for a lot of people, myself included, it doesn't work.
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And it actually ends up being like a really sort of at times traumatizing, disheartening experience that then leads to, you know, people feeling like, how can real love exist if I can date so casually, if I can date so like meaninglessly? It can confuse people. It's confused me even. Yeah.
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We've definitely destroyed the culture around romantic love by number one, focusing on what can go wrong, cheating, lying, manipulation, divorce, focusing on that and not, I guess, giving maybe enough airtime to the times when it does work out, but also to hook up culture. I think the two of them have sort of ruined the culture around it. Okay, next.
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I think we've ruined the online discourse around things like mental health, things about personal experiences, things about challenges. That conversation has been destroyed. Like that cultural conversation has sort of been destroyed, in my opinion. I think many years ago, no one was really talking about their challenges. Nobody was really talking about their struggles. It was a lot more hush-hush.
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And slowly but surely on the internet, you know, people, myself included, for whatever reason, just felt emboldened to just start talking about these things, right? Yeah. And I think for a long time it was deeply appreciated. It was like, whoa, this is so helpful.
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It's so helpful to hear about people's challenges, whether it's like mental health related or it's just like a personal story or it's a challenging experience, like whatever it may be, having these sorts of vulnerable conversations on the internet was really celebrated and appreciated. And that sort of bled into real life.
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I think it's a shame because I think the Stanley Cup is an incredible cup. I have three of them and I use them all. constantly. They're all constantly in rotation. I have two different types of beverages. I put in two out of the three of the Stanley cups. I always have sparkling water with apple cider vinegar in one because that's a drink that I like to drink. Okay.
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I think a lot of people, especially young people, became more comfortable with just talking about shit, you know, with their friends, perhaps even their parents or their teachers or their school counselor or whatever. Like, I just feel like the whole culture became more open over the last few years. But I think there's been a shift
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where now the culture around talking about your feelings, talking about your challenges, telling your stories, I've noticed that the culture around it has shifted. People are not as accepting of this anymore. And I think that that's because, number one, I think it became something that people could profit off of and benefit from. It used to be that telling a vulnerable story was a big feat.
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Everybody was afraid to do it. Now, I think people will perhaps even exaggerate or lie online because they know that being vulnerable in some way will get them a lot of views, right? And I don't think most people are doing that. However... it's starting to become hard to tell, right? And I think some people are doing that, exaggerating, lying for the sake of fame, views, money, whatever.
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And then in real life, I think people have realized like, oh, if I talk about certain struggles, people have maybe started to, at times, not all the time, but at times, abuse that Like, oh, if I say I have anxiety to my boss, then I won't have to do this part of my job that I don't want to do. Now, the problem with that is there's always going to be some who lie and who abuse this sort of thing.
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And that will always ruin it for the people who genuinely, genuinely have a challenge that they need to talk about or need to share with somebody because it's a survival thing. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, It it gets complicated in that way. And I think because now nobody really seems to be afraid to tell vulnerable stories, nobody really seems to be afraid to talk about mental health.
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And in fact, they're actually lying about it or even exaggerating about it at times for the sake of, you know, whatever. It's sort of ruined the conversation as a whole. There's always a level of skepticism of like, are you talking about this for the right reasons? I've noticed with celebrities, people look at celebrities who struggle and are like, okay, number one, you have so many resources.
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Why are you struggling? That's weird. And then number two, are you just saying this to win us over? Are you saying this to... seem relatable, even worse so with influencers who share their mental health struggles.
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Everyone's like, are you just pretending to have mental health struggles because you gained notoriety for having mental health struggles and now you're just pretending to have them still, even though now you're rich and famous and you definitely don't have struggles anymore? it's very complicated. But it just seems like a lot of people cried wolf in a way. And now no one trusts anyone anymore.
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And I think it's a shame because it's like, I think it was a really good thing for a while there, but I think it kind of got ruined. But I think it's still a good conversation to have, you know, as much as we can. OK, next we have pickleball. Listen, I still haven't played pickleball because of how much I dislike the culture around it.
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It's weird, but it's tasty to me. And it, I feel like makes my tummy happy, but I don't know. And there's definitely no science backing that up because I've Googled it. And then I also have another one filled with electrolytes because I love hot yoga and I'm constantly dehydrated.
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It's become this like trendy, pretentious thing that I just am like I'm completely put off by it. I bet I would love it. But if I want to go play pickleball, I have to go pay $40 to rent an hour at a court. By the way, I don't know if it's actually $40. I'm just guessing. I have to try to find a pickleball court that's open, which is impossible because it's so popular.
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And I have to pay a bunch of money and everyone's obsessed with it to the point where now it's sort of considered choogy. Like it's not cool anymore to play pickleball. If you like pickleball, it's the same thing. It's the same fucking thing as the office and the Beatles. Okay. It's genuinely really fun. And that's why a lot of people like it. But it just got completely ruined.
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In this case, though, I think it's really sort of sold out. You know what I mean? Like there's like pickleball clubs that have opened in Los Angeles. I'm not really aware of how they work or what they even are. But to me, that sounds like I don't know what's going to happen to that in 10 years. I don't know. But everybody's buying all the equipment.
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People are paying money to rent, go to the court. And like, well, okay, listen, if you live in like a small town, you can probably play pickleball all day long and it's free and it's fun. All you had to do is buy the racket. Great. If you live in Los Angeles, good luck. Okay. One day I went with someone to go play tennis.
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We were going to try to play tennis because I don't know, it just sounded fun. And we had never played tennis before, but we were like, oh, we'll go try it. And we went to a local court and like a public court. And it was all full for the rest of the day. And a bunch of people were playing pickleball. I don't know. It's like the whole thing, it's so mass. It's become so choogy.
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But I actually bet pickleball is fun. And once the hype dies down a bit... And it's a little bit less like of a thing. And I can actually find like an available, I don't have to rent an hour at a pickleball court, two days. No, not even, honestly, two weeks in advance. I'll try pickleball. But for now, it's like the barrier to entry here is tough. That's number one.
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And number two, it's become sort of cringe in a way, which I think is a shame because I think it's probably really fun. Next, being into skincare. Okay. skincare is and has been such a cultural phenomenon for, like, the last five to ten years. Like, I feel like we're really into skincare and, like, into it to a point where we know the ingredients. You know? Like, I don't think my mom...
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And then I have a third that is there for emergencies for if one of them's in the dishwasher or for my loved ones when they come over to my house and want a big jug of a liquid because you'd be shocked at how often people want that when they come to my house. Yeah, I could make you a glass of water in a glass, or I could make you a glass of water in a Stanley cup and you could stay a while.
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really knew about like an AHA, BHA exfoliant when she was in her 20s. She had no clue what that fucking was. And now, you know, everybody knows everything about skincare. And it's sort of a rabbit hole that you can so easily fall down. And we've all been falling down it for the last few years to a point where we've taken our cultural skincare obsession to a ridiculous point, right?
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For example, you know, middle schoolers are now into skincare. Children who do not have acne yet, who do not need to be using skincare products, you know, and at times it's actually even... potentially harmful for children to be using skincare products. They're using things that are meant for older skin.
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Everybody's obsessed with an intense overnight routine where they're putting on eye patches and a face mask and a lip mask and a jaw mask and a red light thing and all of this. And, you know, in the morning it takes like 10 minutes to take everything off.
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And, you know, there's viral products, trendy products, intense methods of like, you know, anti-aging, like taping your face or like there's just, it's gotten to a point where it's crazy. A lot of it's irrational, not even effective a lot of times, like some of it's not even effective.
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And I think that this sort of hysteria around skincare has ruined the culture around it to the point where now it's confusing for people who say, just like enjoy taking care of themselves, right? Like I'm somebody who, because I have struggled with my skin in the past, have learned a lot about skincare and I find it really interesting and I like trying new products and stuff.
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I'm careful about it, very, very careful about it. But you know, I have a lot of brands that I like. I have a lot of products that I like. And I like experimenting. And I like using products. I like the way that certain products make me feel. But I don't even want to talk about skincare with people or watch videos about skincare because they've gotten so extreme.
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And that's a bummer, I guess, because it's now something that causes me stress. I'm like, I don't know who to trust. There's so much information. It all seems kind of bullshit. Half the time, it's feeding my shopping addiction, which is unhealthy because I'm trying to not have the shopping addiction anymore. I don't know. I feel like being into skincare is now...
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Something it's become sort of a skincare has become a monster in a way. And I think it's a shame because I think taking care of your skin is actually a really enjoyable, luxurious, but also like helpful practice. Now it's just considered like overkill. And I don't think all of skincare is overkill, you know, because there's so much misinformation or like extreme practices.
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You know what I'm saying? I love the Stanley cup and the culture around it has been absolutely ruined. And that's the whole point of this episode. We ruin everything. We ruin everything. And Stanley cups are not the only victim of our wrath as a society. I have a list of approximately 20 things that,
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It's just sort of, I think, made a lot of people feel like, well, the whole thing seems fishy to me. Do you know what I'm saying? Also, too, there's so many skincare sponsorships. I've done skincare sponsorships, you know? So that also makes it confusing. It's just like, it's so saturated. I don't know. It's overwhelming. Next, we have Jane Birkening, The Bag. I've talked about this so much.
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It's the concept based on Jane Birkin, a model who would carry around her Birkin bag every day. And as she went on with her life, she would attach things to her Birkin. For example, tie a bandana onto it that she was wearing one day but got too hot and took it off and tied it onto the bag. Untie her watch one day when she doesn't want to wear it anymore and attach it to the bag.
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You know, attach her favorite necklace to it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Attach things to her bag. And over time, it started to look like Jane Birkin's bag. This is Jane Birkin's bag. It has stuff hanging off of it. It's uniquely hers. And it became sort of a trend to mimic this style of accessorizing the bag.
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And I do think that this sort of concept in some ways has been ruined because I think what was so cool about it when Jane Birkin did it was that it was a genuine utilitarian practice. Okay. She was putting, she was taking her watch off and attaching it to her bag, not because it looked cool, but because it was useful.
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You know, she was tying her bandana around her bag because she was like, I might want that bandana at some point. I took it off right now. I'm not going to put it back into my drawer because it actually is kind of nice that it's here on the bag. And if one day I want to put on a bandana, now it's attached to the bag. I have this sentimental necklace I want to carry around with me.
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I'm going to attach it to my bag so that it's with me all the time, but I don't want to wear it because it maybe doesn't match my outfit. I'm not saying these are the reasons why she attached things to her bag. These are just assumptions. But that's sort of what the concept was. And that's what made it so cool.
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And I think sort of the concept now of like, we're attaching all these things to the bag, not because they're sentimental or meaningful, but rather because... it's, it's a trend. The look of it is sort of a trend. I think it took away the personal element of like the whole, I guess the, the whole point of it was that it was personal and it was actually useful.
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And I think by making it a trend, we in a way ruin that. Do I think it's cute? Fuck yeah. Do I think if you think it's cute, you should do it? Fuck yeah. Who cares? But I'm just saying, okay, that I think the true magic of, magic did not follow into the trend because it kind of became ingenuine, you know, and a lot of bag designers started coming out with charms and stuff.
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People are buying, you know, key chains that mean nothing to them. It doesn't have the same magic. Do I think it's wrong or bad? No, but I think, you know, like, I actually think it looks quite cute. And I think it's really smart. Like, let's say I was like, oh, it's a really smart idea.
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Like from like a utilitarian standpoint, from like an actual utility standpoint, it's helpful to attach things to your bag. In fact, I actually do attach one thing to my bag. I have these little hair clips that I wear now that my hair is short because they help me get my bangs out of my face when I want to get my bangs out of my face. And I will clip them to my bag. It's vaguely Jane Birkening.
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that actually are good, like genuinely good things, at least in my opinion, that have been completely destroyed by us. We've ruined these things. We've ruined the culture around them. We've ruined the magic. And today I want to go through that list of things that I think have been ruined by us.
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Not quite. Um, but I got that idea to clip them to my bag because it's nice because they're not like lost in my bag and at the bottom of my bag. So it's nice to have them out and attached. I think it looks cute. And the idea of like attaching it to the bag came from the idea of the Jane Birkening. I was like, wait, I could just attach these clips to the outside.
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There's nothing wrong with the contents of my bag being half in half out. Like that's kind of cool. But let's say I had a bunch of ideas. I was like, oh, you know, I wear a digital watch every day now. I never take it off. But let's say I wanted to. Would I attach it to the bag or would I put it inside? Like, it's almost like now you can't do the Jane Birkening trend authentically.
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It feels like because it's been so corporatized now, it'll always look like, oh, she just is doing the Jane Birkening thing. You know? It's not like, oh, she's authentically doing that. Like, it always looks like, oh, she's trying to be trendy. Now, who cares, right? Like, if you want to do something, you should just do it. Who cares if it's trendy or what anyone says?
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But I'm just saying that I think the culture around it has been sort of ruined. And... I'm not saying that that's wrong. I'm not saying you should avoid it. I'm just saying that that's how I feel about it.
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And that's what I've noticed where now, you know, it's like looked at as a trend, which will ultimately soon become cringe because that's what happens with super, you know, popular, popular, popular trends. they eventually become cringe and stale. Again, none of this really matters and none of this is really that deep, but I'm just analyzing it for the sake of analyzing it.
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I have nothing better to do. Okay, next we have the sweater vest. Okay, the sweater vest was such a trend in like 2019, 2020. I was involved in that trend, you know, I was there. But for some reason, I feel like we've all decided that we hate sweater vests now and that they're completely out and we hate them. But we forget that a sweater vest can exist in many shapes and sizes.
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A sweater vest is not just a V-neck vest with an argyle print on it. A sweater vest is an incredible layering piece. And I think we associate it with 2019, 2020 style. And that takes away from what a sweater vest can be. You know, like if you're online shopping and you're looking through the categories online, you shouldn't ignore the sweater vest section.
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You might find a really incredible layering piece. Do you know what I'm saying? But I think a lot of people now are like, ew, I don't want to wear a sweater vest. I don't want to even look at a sweater vest. We imagine it styled exactly how we styled it in like 2020. And we're stuck in that memory. But it can be so much more than that. Okay, next we have organizing with plastic containers.
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Okay, it has become such an online trend and just like a kitchen, pantry, garage, laundry room, closet, organizational trend to have a container for everything, have acrylic storage for every single little thing. And the whole sort of concept of organization, I think has gone a bit stale for people. I think because it's gone to an extreme, right?
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And I want to remind all of you and even myself that these things are great and that it's our fault for ruining them. But what's sort of beautiful is that we can also fix them. We can bring them back. We can fix the reputation of these things. We can fix the culture around these things if we work together. Without further ado, let's begin. Obviously, Stanley Cup was number one. What's number two?
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Like people aren't just like, oh, it makes sense for me to have a container here. Like using a container is actually gonna be useful for this specific function. It's become this thing of like, everything needs to be aesthetic. Everything needs to be beautiful. And convenience in utilities like coming second, right?
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Like a great example is people are, you know, taking their spices out of their original spice jar that is totally usable and good and putting it into like a plastic one just because it looks aesthetically pleasing to have all of your spices be in matching little containers with cute little labels on it from a cute little label maker, right?
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Now, listen, if that's something that really makes you happy and is your hobby, like, please don't let me get in the way. I don't like policing people and telling people what to do. And I don't like also being like, that's wrong and that's wasteful because it's just not my place. Like, if that really makes you happy and is your hobby, for fuck's sake. do it.
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The problem is it's become irritating to a lot of people who are looking at this sort of lifestyle and they're like, it's so wasteful. It's so stupid. And now the whole concept of containers, going to the container store and organizing your home is considered over-consuming or it's considered excessive or unnecessary. But I actually don't agree.
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I think that there are times when it really does help and it is a great concept and a great thing to tap into. I think The missing piece is it just needs to be intuitive. Like I hired an organizer a few years ago and like did the whole thing and had her like do the whole fucking Instagram organization sort of. I hated it. I hated it. Okay. She did a beautiful job. I hated it. Okay.
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I didn't like having all my spices in the individual spice things. I've, you know, hated refilling them. You know, I had all these different bins for all my different like things in the pantry, even though like having them in their original boxes or bags was totally fine. Like, I hated it. Okay. And so, you know, since then I've, I have all these containers in my garage that now I use intuitively.
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I shouldn't have, I also donated some of the boxes and stuff too, because I just had way too many, but it was an unsustainable lifestyle for me. It was completely ridiculous and I regretted it. And now, you know, I repurpose those sorts of containers for you know, purposes that actually make sense to me. Like, you know, I'm using all the storage food bins for stuff like cat food, right?
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Where like, it's actually really helpful to have the cat food in its own little smaller container because I buy massive bags of cat food that like don't fit in my pantry where I want to store them. Or I make my own nut milk and I buy massive, massive, massive bags of nuts, almonds, coconut shreds, cashews, whatever. And it's kind of frustrating to manage the big bag.
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It's very helpful to put it into smaller containers that I can fit again in my pantry. I think we've become fatigued by the idea of organization and using these sorts of methods because we've seen such an extreme and become fatigued by it. But it's actually it is not a completely like ridiculous, stupid, excessive method. I actually think there is value to it.
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So it's kind of a shame that now it's like it feels like you're doing something wrong almost. But I don't think that that's necessarily true or fair. Next, we have the DJ. The reputation of the DJ is struggling, I would say. I don't know a lot about DJing. However, I love, as we all do, for the most part, listening to music.
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The culture around the Stanley Cup is a catastrophe. For one, it's become sort of a trend to collect every single color. Now, the beauty of the Stanley Cup is that it's incredibly durable and will last you a very long time. So you really only need, at max, two or three of them. I have three of them. But we really only need one because it's such a good cup.
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I love going to a party, going to a bar or club or whatever, and the music to be good. The art of playing good music, the art of building up the energy, the art of curation, I'm there. That, I understand. The actual art of being a DJ, what it really means to fucking touch all those knobs, it's none of my business. I don't even want to know. But I know where the doubts are coming from, okay?
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Number one, I think we're at a point where becoming a DJ is so accessible because of technology. It's like easier than ever. Apparently, it used to be a situation where you'd like go out and collect vinyls, right? Like vinyl records. And then you'd spin the vinyl and...
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Band tees. Okay, hear me out. Banties like wearing a Beatles t-shirt, wearing an ACDC t-shirt, wearing a Guns N' Roses t-shirt. I don't know who's wearing a Guns N' Roses t-shirt who actually likes Guns N' Roses. I don't know if that person exists, but you get the idea, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
you'd like bring a bunch of vinyls to the club or whatever or to the party and you were known for your vinyl collection and you were also known for your ability to like spin the vinyl well and like blend it from one song to the next really well. I don't understand how this works, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
It's again, none of my business, but like there was more of an art to it, I think of curation and actually executing on the sounds. Whereas it sounds like now, you know, a lot more things can be automated, right? That's not to say that there aren't DJs out there who are like fucking twisting and beat matching and like doing all this shit, doing a really good job and whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
But like I watched this YouTube video about the quality of DJs going down. a lot of people who are actually finding success in it apparently aren't technically good. Okay, this was a video from a DJ talking about other DJs and about why, you know, the quality of the DJ is going down. You know, this was an opinion piece from this person, but it kind of resonated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And then I started paying attention. Anytime I'd hear DJing happening in any capacity on the internet, in real life, wherever, I started paying attention. And I'm starting to like realize like, oh, Yeah. And maybe that wasn't super well done, like a super clean transition or something. I don't know. Again, I don't know about DJing, but I can see what people mean. Like, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I guess maybe the art of it is struggling. But listen, if you want to be a DJ, I don't know. I just think, oh, my God, it's so funny. Wait, I have another funny story. I was at an event recently and I was talking about someone in my life who makes music and I was talking to like an older man. OK, this person makes music, blah, blah, blah. And I was like telling a story.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And I mentioned that this person in my life makes music in this story. Okay? I know this seems like a ridiculous story, but just stick with me. And then this man that I'm talking to is like, is he a DJ? Don't tell me he's a fucking DJ. I was like, no, he's not a DJ. But like, that's the general sentiment around DJs. It's not good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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But I think it's kind of a shame because I actually do think that there's an art to being a DJ. You know, like... playing good music, beat matching the music, you know, curating really well. But I think now, you know, majority of DJs are playing top hits. They're not curating in a way that's unique to them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
You know, God knows how much they're doing themselves and how much they're automating or doing beforehand or like who even knows what's happening. But it doesn't feel as hands-on. It doesn't feel as intimate. It doesn't feel as authentic to the DJ as it maybe once did. And I think it's a shame because I think that there's an art to it. That's all I'm saying. All right, moving on to acai bowls.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Genuinely delicious, but it was a huge food trend like 10 years ago. And now I feel like nobody just wants to sit down and have an acai bowl anymore. Can I be honest? If I was caught sitting down eating an acai bowl, for some reason, I'd be kind of embarrassed. There's something about it that's embarrassing. I think because it's such a pretty, beautiful food. It's almost like avocado toast.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I bet a lot of you are listening to me and thinking, Emma thinks the band tee has been ruined because it's become a trend to just wear a band tee and not necessarily care about the band that you're wearing the t-shirt for. That's part of it. Don't get me wrong. That is part of it. And we'll get to that later.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Avocado toast, acai bowls, these trendy foods that are genuinely delicious. are embarrassing to order or embarrassing to eat almost because it's like, really? You fucking Tumblr girl? You're ordering an avocado toast? It's a stereotype. It's become something that's like, try hard or something. But they're genuinely good foods. I love an acai bowl and I love avocado toast.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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So we've sort of ruined it, but also I think still delicious. I think they hold up. And last but not least, ironically, I think to an extent we've ruined podcasting. Or maybe we haven't. Maybe we haven't. I don't know. I'm sad and scared to even... I don't even want to talk about it because I have a podcast. But I'm also probably a part of the problem.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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or not the problem, but the reason why there seems to be this sort of general feeling around podcasting that everyone has a fucking podcast these days. Most podcasters are talking about jack shit. I don't know. I feel like there's sort of this feeling of like, oh my God, if I hear about another fucking podcast, I'm going to put glue in my ears and let it dry and not hear anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I don't want to hear about another podcast. I don't want to hear another podcast. Um, a lot of people seem fatigued by podcasts and by the industry. And they're just like, I'm sick of this. There's too many. And like, I just don't like, and I don't even like a lot of them. And people just are saying shit and they don't even know what they're talking about.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like I make a podcast twice a week doing it right now about podcasts. Jack shit. What am I even talking about? You know what I mean? Like, I'm coming to you with opinions, thoughts. That's about it. You know, and like, some people really enjoy that. But I think a lot of people are like, why does that exist? Like people probably think this about me and about my show.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like, why does she even have a podcast? What the fuck is she talking about? And I think like, because there's been this sort of podcast boom, if you will, over the last few years, it's sort of giving everyone this like podcast existential crisis all at once where everyone's like, like, what the fuck is going on? Oh my God. I just remembered I ran out of the yogurt that I like to eat.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And I was really excited to eat a yogurt bowl after. I recorded this because I'm very hungry and I'm like, I'm out of my yogurt and I'm bummed out. It's all good though. Like I can totally go get more yogurt, but I'm just remembering. And like this specific yogurt, I have to go to a specific grocery store to get because they just, they don't have it where I usually shop. And so I'm just sorry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I just had an intrusive thought about the fact that I don't have my yogurt. All good. Anywho, you get the idea. Okay. I think people are sort of fatigued by podcasts. However, I think podcasts, I think it's incredible. I like listening to podcasts. I haven't as much recently.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I think the worst thing that's happened to band tees is their presence in fast fashion sorts of stores, okay? Band tees available at Forever 21 or at H&M or on fast fashion websites or at Brandy Melville. I think that taking band tees and pumping them out to the masses, I think it ruined the culture around the band tee.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like I don't really have one that I'm really into right now, but I've gone through many podcast phases with many different podcasts. I like making them. I think podcasting is great, but I also understand the sort of fatigue and like just kind of cringed out culture about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like everyone's kind of sick of the podcast, but also that doesn't mean that the podcast is not still like a booming industry. It's doing very well, but I think a lot of people are starting to get sick of it. I'm noticing that. Um, and I totally get it. However, I'm still here making mine on that note. That's it. That's all I have to talk about today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I really have to pee and I really, really want yogurt. So I'm going to wrap this up. Okay. Those are some things that I think as a society we've ruined, but I don't think they're ruined permanently. I think that these things, all of them, all of the things that I mentioned are actually genuinely solid things, you know, like solid concepts, solid items. They're solid.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And I think that they will stand the test of time, despite the fact that They're maybe going through a rough patch with their reputation right now. Okay? These are all good things. And I'm here to remind you that they are. And to not let the fact that we ruined them to ruin it for you. You can... choose to love these things again. Okay, anyway, I'm done talking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
If you enjoyed this episode, tune in Thursdays and Sundays to Anything Goes, anywhere that you stream podcasts. Video is on YouTube and Spotify though. At Anything Goes on social media, at Emma Chamberlain on social media, chamberlaincoffee.com is my company, my coffee company, at Chamberlain Coffee on social media. Today I was drinking a cute little iced latte, which I think is why I have to pee.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Sounds disgusting going down my gullet, but I had to just let you hear that. Yeah. Okay, that's it. I'll talk to you all very, very soon. I love you all and appreciate you all. And it's always a pleasure to just sit around and yap to y'all. So anywho, have a great rest of your day or evening. I love you all and appreciate you all and goodbye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And I think it's because number one, the way that they've created band tees in mass is is all wrong. Number one, they took like top rock bands in like, I don't know what the 70s and 80s, like Guns N' Roses and Led Zeppelin and ACDC and the Beatles. And I guess Beatles or like whatever earlier.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
But anyway, and they take these like same like 10 bands and they slap the logo on a T-shirt and then like somehow rip it up a little bit or put it on like a faded T-shirt. And then also people were just buying them because they were like, this is a cool design on a t-shirt, which I can't blame people for.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I'm not, see, I'm not about to police people for wearing a band tee for a band that they don't care about. Listen, if you like the design on a shirt, be my guest. Okay. I'm not going to judge. I'm not judging the consumer. Rather, I'm angry at the company. You know what I mean? For taking something that was cool. Like, okay, so what are these retailers imitating, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
They're imitating the concept of someone in the 70s going to a concert and buying a band tee and then it getting worn in and ripped up over the years because it was somebody's favorite t-shirt.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Now they're replicating that at Forever 21 or now they're slapping it onto a T-shirt of Brandy Melville and a bunch of like 15 year old girls are wearing it who are like, I don't know who this band is, but I just think that the design is cool. And it's very saturated. And a lot of people wear mainstream sort of band tees because it's sort of just something mass that people just buy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
It's completely lost all of its power. Right. I think what was cool about a band tee before was like, I bought this at my favorite artist's concert or, you know, I ordered it from their website and I like was maybe supporting them directly. And the bands who are on t-shirts in Forever 21 or Brandy Melville or whatever are having no problems financially.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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So like, I'm not saying that, you know, it's like, come on, man. Like you need to support the Beatles directly. It's like the Beatles are okay. They're definitely fine. But I'm more talking about like the experience of buying a band. He used to be kind of sacred in a way. It was like, you know, it's special. It's, it's for a band that you really do love and care about it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like the shirt actually sort of means something to you. And when you wear it out, people are like, oh, fuck, you like them. That's cool. And there was sort of this authenticity to it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And again, I'm not trying to be a pretentious asshole and I'm not blaming the consumer at all, because when I was a teenager, I was buying band tees from Brandy Melville that were like it was it was ACDC or some shit. Who knows what I even had? I'm not blaming myself for that. I'm not even blaming like the companies for selling the band tees. Like I actually don't think anyone's at fault.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I don't think anyone's in the wrong. I just think it's like this sort of series of unfortunate events where now it's just like the beauty of the band tee I think is kind of gone now. You know, like the idea of it being special and personal and it being a conversation starter, that is ruined. And I think it's a shame. I guess maybe still some of the magic exists. Like, I don't know. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
But it's become a trend to collect every single color. Fine. That's a hobby for some people. Who am I to judge? And that's great for the company. You know, they're probably very happy about this. However, a lot of people are posting videos about their Stanley Cup hauls and the new Stanley Cup colors that they got.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Listen, I could be off base here, but I feel like the culture around the Bantis is not great anymore. It's a bummer. Moving on. Moving on to monogramming stuff. getting your initials embroidered into things. Okay. I think it was something that was really trendy a few years ago, sort of in the early 2010s, early to mid 2010s.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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And now it's sort of considered out of style, choogy, cringe, whatever, because it's just out of style. But I think it's an underrated concept. I don't know. I think a lot of people look at it like it's sort of How do I explain it? Like, it's not cool. And it's not even looked at as something that's like, oh, it's personalization.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I feel like it's looked at something where it's like, oh my God, like you're so not laid back and chill. Like you're embroidering your initials into stuff so that what, you don't lose it, nerd? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, it feels like that. I just feel like the concept of monogramming something, like getting your initials on something, it's actually kind of cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Like, I don't think it's cringe. I don't know. And I think like taking the extra effort and like getting your makeup bag embroidered or... You know, getting a blanket and getting that embroidered or like it feels like everyone hates it and everyone thinks it's sort of cringe. And I just I don't know exactly how it happened.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
It almost feels like something that like a super mom would do for all of their kids lunchboxes. It feels weird. Not cool. Right. I don't know. But I just I think it is. And I don't think it's try hard. And I don't think it's in choogy land. I think it can actually be cool. Not everybody thinks it's choogy, by the way, like there. But I I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I think the culture around it got ruined, perhaps because maybe it is sort of the mom thing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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that embroiders you know all the initials of her kids into the lunch boxes and then the kids go to school and all the kids are like okay mama's boy like you have your little embroidered little lunch box you know maybe it started then for us um when somebody's parent like loved them enough to embroider their lunch box it's like fuck you that's cringe you know and then maybe that
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
carried on into adulthood for us, or perhaps it was the Vera Bradley, you know, floral bags of 2012 embroidered with cursive letters that have just scarred us for life. It could be one of those two things. It could be something else. But I do think that the culture around monogramming has been completely ruined. I also think it's often not done very well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And people are waiting outside of a Target because there's a new Stanley Cup drop at Target starting at 6 a.m. it's starting to be something that people judge, right? People are judging people who participate in the hype of Stanley Cup. It's starting to make the news.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Like it's often done in sort of an outdated way. And, you know, I actually just recently was online shopping, which is not good. And this company was like hand painting toiletry bags and stuff, hand painting onto canvas initials. And I was like, that is sick. And I did buy it. And I was like, this is cool. Like monogramming is cool. Like we need to not sleep on the potential for monogramming.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I think it's not all bad. Moving on to the show, The Office, okay? I absolutely love The Office. You probably do too. The problem with The Office is that it's such a good show that absolutely everyone loves it. And for one out of 10 people, I would assume their favorite show, honestly, one out of five people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
If you were to take a random selection of five people and say, what's your favorite TV show of all time? At least one out of five would probably say The Office. And I think that that person genuinely means it. I think The Office is one of the best TV shows ever to be made. And so it makes sense that it's a lot of people's favorite show.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
But the problem is, because it's everybody's favorite show, now when somebody says their favorite show is The Office, it's like, okay, who cares? you know, wearing merch for The Office, wearing a t-shirt for The Office. Who cares? Everyone loves The Office. Do you know what I'm saying? It's one of those things where it's like everyone loves it to a point where it means nothing to love it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
The thing about that that upsets me is I actually really do think that that undermines the true beauty of that show. You know, like I don't know. It's unfortunate because I think now everybody's fatigued of hearing the answer that The Office is someone's favorite TV show. You win everyone else. You know, I actually feel the same way about the Beatles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
I think in the exact same way that The Office is everybody's favorite TV show, the Beatles is everybody's favorite band. But the Beatles are really, really good. And like what both of them have in common, the Beatles and The Office, is that they're both magic in the way that they appeal to pretty much every human being on the planet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And that has ruined it in a way because everybody's just sick of hearing about it. If you talk about why you think The Office is good, if you talk about why you think The Beatles is good, it's like you're a sheep. You're considered a sheep. And I think that's a shame because I think both of these things are genuinely good. And they do... mean something to people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Like, even though everyone likes them, they still mean something to people. Both The Office and The Beatles mean something to me personally that feels intimate. I feel an intimate connection to these two works of art, you know? I don't know. It's just a shame. I think the culture around them has struggled a bit. Next, we have holidays in general, but especially Christmas, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Well, I think the holidays have just gone a bit too corporate, and I think that has sort of ruined it for all of us. A lot of holidays nowadays seem to be all about consumerism. It's like, it's Christmas, gotta buy gifts for everybody. It's Easter, gotta buy a bunch of Easter candy for the kids and buy Easter eggs and fill them with stuff. It's Thanksgiving, gotta buy all this special food
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
And now the culture around the Stanley Cup has sort of been ruined because every time you walk around with your Stanley Cup, there's a chance that people are perceiving you like you're a Stanley Cup collecting freak. I'm not saying that's right or wrong. I'm just saying that that's the truth. I also think the Stanley Cup has an interesting symbolism.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
Got to buy these decorations. Got to buy this stuff. It's Halloween. Got to buy a costume. Got to buy. It's all about like holidays are all about spending money and feeling stressed out. You got to be on top of it. You got to be ready. You got to be prepared. Valentine's Day. If you're in a relationship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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Oh, got to drop a bunch of money on my significant other or else they're going to think I don't love them. It's all about spending money. And I think that is the worst part about the holidays, the corporate element. I mean, listen, I do kind of love holiday shopping. Like I love walking down, you know, the aisles during Easter. I love walking down the aisles during Halloween.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
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I love walking down the aisles during Christmas. I'm there. I don't even celebrate Easter because I'm not a child anymore, and I'm not religious particularly, so I don't celebrate Easter. But, like, Easter's coming around, and I want to see all the stuff with the little bunnies on it. Yes, I do. I do actually like... some of that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
we ruin everything [video]
But I do think that we all almost have like a level of PTSD every time a holiday comes around because we're like, oh God, it's time to spend money. I think holidays have lost their wholesomeness. The holidays are about reading Christmas stories in bed the night before Christmas, even if you're 23 years old. Okay. The holidays are about cooking with fucking grandma. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
A few months ago, I got a haircut and I cut my hair really, really short, shorter than I've ever cut it before. And since then, one of my favorite topics of conversation has been my haircut. If it was up to me, every conversation would be about my haircut. I absolutely love talking about it. I love talking about how I've been styling it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
You know what I mean? But I'm, we have a different brain. Like I love analyzing things to death. She is like, she doesn't necessarily think that way. Yeah. This is just something I would have wanted to have heard when I was considering the pixie, like a true life experience. What's it really like? Let's start out with my personal feelings and experience.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I will say to start, I was kind of pussying out. Like I wasn't fully getting a pixie, right? I was doing more of like a short shag and it was sort of still a pixie, but not quite. That I think was a mistake. I should have gone full pixie because number one, I never felt fully satisfied. I was always like, oh, it's too long. It's too long. But when I was sitting in the chair,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
You know, my hair colorist was like, don't go too short because then it's like a bit more risky, you know, for bleaching. I don't know. You can like damage your hair more easily when your hair is short and you're bleaching it because you have to bleach over bleached hair. It's a complicated thing. But anyway, he was like, you know, you have more risk for breakage.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And, you know, but you can still do it if you want, but there's more risk for breakage. And then I was like, oh my God, it's going to be so short. Like, is that going to be too short? So I kept pussying out and I regret that because going really short, it's, it's, I think it's all or nothing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
If I could go back, I would have gotten a short pixie from the get-go, even though it's a bit more of a risk when, you know, cause I'm bleaching it, even though it's a bit more risk. I think if you're going to go short, Don't like go a bit longer than you want because you're too scared. Like just fucking do it. Just do it. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
It took me a few months to fully commit to the full pixie, which is what I have now. And I just wish I would have done it sooner. So that's, that's my first observation. Second observation, it is the easiest hairstyle I've ever had in my fucking life, okay? I fucking love it. It is unbelievable. It is so convenient. It's amazing, okay? Let me tell you my hair care routine right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I wash my hair once a week. That's it. Now, I will say I have bleached hair, so I treat my hair a bit differently than if I had non-bleached hair. I'd probably have to wash it more because it would get oily quicker. But I literally wash my hair once a week. The other days, I just rinse it, get it wet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So I have like a fresh slate for styling it, but I wash it once a week with purple shampoo and purple conditioner or whatever. I use like a hair mask that helps with like, you know, the strength, like bonding the ends. I don't know how it works. And then I use a little bit of hair oil and that's it. Every single day when I get it wet, sort of to style it, I just let it air dry.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I don't even have to fucking blow dry it. I don't use heat on it at all. In fact, if I want it to be like flat to my head and like a super flat, like whatever, I'll brush it down and then I'll put on a balaclava or a hood or something, have some sort of hood on, let it dry with the hood on. And then I have like really cute flat sort of like pixie.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
If I want it to be a bit more voluminous, I'll let it air dry free. Like just let it free. And then if it's like at most I'll put like a little bit of grooming clay in it to shape it a bit. But like I don't have to do anything, you guys. It's the ease. It's amazing. I don't do anything. And I mean I will say that it depends on your hair texture and just like –
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
If it's bleached or if it's not, like there's a lot of factors, but for whatever reason, this is the easiest hair I've ever had in my life. It's unbelievable. And so I'm having an incredible time. It dries so quickly. It's so nice. I love it. You know, there are moments when I'm a little bit self-conscious about it. Okay. Like, especially if I'm not wearing makeup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Yeah, I get a little insecure sometimes when I'm not wearing makeup and I'm out in public and like I'm running errands or something or I'm at yoga or something and I'm not wearing makeup. Like actually yoga less so, but even yoga, like I do get a little self-conscious sometimes because I do feel like, oh my God, you know, I have really short hair and I'm not wearing makeup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And, you know, I don't look the most feminine right now. Right. Like stereotypically, I do love like masculine silhouettes in clothing sometimes, you know, like that my style is not hyper feminine at all. I do tend to like lean a bit more perhaps androgynous with my style. Just that's just who I am. And it's what I've always liked.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I've always like enjoyed fashion, not because of it's, this is about to sound so, Oh my God. I saw, I, again, I feel like I'm gonna win a Nobel peace prize for what I'm about to say. I've always liked fashion without like the, the gender association. Um, Like I just like fashion if I like it. I sometimes like hyper feminine things. I sometimes like hyper masculine things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I sometimes like androgynous things. Like I don't like something because, oh, it makes me feel super girly. Like I guess sometimes I like that. But like my fashion preferences have almost never been based on like their gender association. And this is not because I'm trying to do that. That's just how I process fashion. It's how I've always been. So a lot of people are like, Emma's like a tomboy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Emma dresses in like masculine clothes. That's just what I, like I, it's not, it has nothing to do with gender or anything. It's just simply because that is what I like. And there, there's moments when it's like, Emma is hyper feminine, you know, miniskirt, little tight, little top. Like that's, that's a moment for me sometimes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But I also love, love, love like a big boxy fucking suit and like a big loafer and like, you know, and short hair. Like I love that shit too. So to me, gender has nothing to do with fat or is very, I can't say nothing, but it's like, it is not a huge factor in like how I judge in perceived fashion, especially now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And so all of that to say, like, sometimes I really like masculine sort of outfits, like traditionally masculine outfits. And that paired with a pixie, I'm like, oh my God, I am a girl, like I'm a girl, but I look pretty masculine, you know? And so part of me, you know, at times is like self-conscious about that in a way, because I feel like, am I misrepresenting myself in a way?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But then also too, if I'm like super comfortable, right? I'm like in my pajamas and then I'm like wearing, then I'm like, oh my God, I look horrible. I don't know. There are moments when I think about how I'm being perceived, um, And they ultimately do not dictate my decision making. They don't dictate what I wear. They don't dictate, you know, whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Now, you're probably wondering, like, Emma, why do you love talking about your haircut so much? Like, who cares? I think the reason why I love talking about it so much is because of how much of a plot twist it is, okay? When I was a kid, I absolutely hated, hated the look of short hair on women. It didn't have anything to do with like societal, you know, norms, like femininity norms.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But there are moments when I do think about it. There are moments when I am kind of self-conscious about it. And it is ultimately who I am and how I want. It's how I like to dress. It's how I like to do my hair. And when I'm fucking comfortable and whatever, like that's how I look. Who cares? You know, so I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But it is something that I think about sometimes and I am self-conscious about sometimes. On the other hand, I fucking love styling it. Okay. I think it looks sick with a hyper feminine outfit, with a more masculine, with an androgynous. It doesn't matter. I love styling the hair. My suspicion that like the pixie would be an incredible accessory was correct. Okay. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I think it elevates every single outfit. It changes the vibe of every single outfit. It is the maraschino cherry on top of the ice cream sundae that is my fucking outfit. Without that cherry, it looks mid. Okay. It looks all right. The ice cream sundae looks all right, but it looks a bit beige. You pop that little maraschino cherry on top. Boom. It looks elegant. It looks chic. It looks retro.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
It looks cute. It looks yummy. It looks delectable. Okay? Do you get what I'm saying? Say what you want. Say what you fucking want. I think it's fucking chic. And especially now. I do think the shag was a bit less chic. Like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I it took a few cuts for me to figure out what haircut suited me the best so thank you all for your patience over the last few months because yeah I didn't I don't think I got it right the first time by the way this was all my bad I was showing a reference to my hairstylist and saying let's do this and he was saying great and he would copy it exactly and the first you know
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
let's say four cuts, I was doing a bit longer, more of a shag, uh, that would then grow out into something that was a bit mullet-esque kind of maybe not mullet, not mullet. What would be the word? Um, I don't know. I don't have the word, but yeah, it, it took a sec, but I finally figured out my haircut and it's really exciting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Um, I also think that there's something weirdly empowering about taking a risk like this. Like I felt empowered by the situation, not because, and not actually not for the reasons that you would assume, right? Like I think, you know, going back to the reason why the people, the people tend to hate the pixie cut because it is sort of a, a statement. Like, I don't care what men think about me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
That's a reason why people do it. That's a reason why it might be empowering for some people. For me, it was empowering because it was scary, right? It was just simply scary. It was frightening, okay? I was afraid of getting this haircut because I was afraid of potentially being judged. I was afraid of perhaps finding myself ugly, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like looking in the mirror every day and being like, I look hideous, right? having a hard time looking at myself in the mirror. You know, I was frightened for those reasons. And you might think to yourself, those are far more shallow than the other reasons. I don't care why you think that they're shallow, okay? That's why I was frightened and being honest, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I'd love to say that they're deep and they're political and they're, oh my God, but no, they're not. I was frightened for those more surface level reasons, but that was still frightening for me. I did it and I lived to tell the tale and it ended up being rewarding because there were so many things about it that were so great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So I think what was empowering about it was trusting my gut, doing what I wanted to do and it paying off. That was rewarding. That was empowering. And my last observation over the last few months has been, I don't think I can ever go back. I'm so much like my mom. I'm growing to be more and more like my mom in a way that is good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
My mom and I are very, very different in a lot of ways, but we actually are also the same in a lot of ways. We have a very similar, our style is weirdly melding. My style is starting to sort of I don't know, mirror my mom's. And she definitely is less into fashion than me, but she actually is a fashionable woman in her heart.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Even when she wears hokas, you know, like around, which I would never do as a fashion statement. Even when she wears hokas with cargo pants, like which again, yeah, like it's like, I still am seeing my mom in my style. It's fascinating. But anyway, my mom has had a pixie my entire life. At her longest, she's had like a shack, you know, but she's had short hair my entire life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I think I might be the same way. Like I'm, I'm thinking about my future children and I'm like, they are going to grow up the same way I did with a mom who has short hair and they're probably going to fucking hate it just like I did. And they're going to wish that their mom had long, beautiful hair like all of the other moms at the PTA meeting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I really genuinely in my heart of hearts do not believe that that had anything to do with it. Well, maybe that was part of it. You know what? Maybe that was part of it. I just genuinely didn't like the way it looked. I think because, you know, in the early 2010s, the pixie cut that was trendy was not cute. I still don't like it. Like, it was sort of like a comb over.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But then I think my kids are going to grow up and be like, damn, my mom is cool. I have a cool mom. That's why her hair is short because she's cool and she's fashionable. And I just didn't understand her because I was fucking basic. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Me calling my kids basic. They're not even born yet. You guys are fucking basic. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Now let's discuss responses from people in real life. This is strictly in real life. No internet. That's its own category of analysis. This is strictly just interactions with people in real life. When I first started talking about cutting all my hair off, there was sort of like a 50-50 split in my life. Some people, and I'm not going to name any names here, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I'm just going to let everybody remain anonymous here. I'm not going to be like, my mom said, and then my dad said, and then my best friend said, and then, you know, no, okay? We're not getting into it. We're letting everyone remain anonymous. It was a 50-50 split. Okay. Some people were like, that's a genius idea. Like that's sick. You should absolutely do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And then there were a few people in my life who were a bit hesitant. They were like, honestly, Emma, I don't know. And I don't think that they were saying it for any sort of like mean reason. I genuinely think that they just were like, Emma, don't trigger a mental breakdown. You know what I mean? If you cut all your hair off and you hate it, you might have a mental breakdown.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I think that there were certain people in my life who were afraid of that. I think there were also a few people in my life who were like, I don't like how a pixie cut looks. But I think for the most part, people were telling me, Emma, I don't know. I don't think you should do that. Let's not do that. Because they were afraid that I would have a mental breakdown.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And they were like, why do that to yourself? Um, so there was sort of a 50-50 split. And I would say most of the responses were pretty like neutral in a way, not neutral, but like, um, not passionate. You know what I mean? There were a few passionate responses. Some people were like, Emma, you have to do it. And some people were like, Emma, really, really, please don't do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But I would say for the most part, when I talked to people about it, it didn't evoke like extreme reactions. Most people were like, yeah, fuck yeah, do it. Who cares? Or like, I don't know. I wouldn't. But, you know, you've been growing your hair out for a while. Like, why do that? But do whatever you want. Like, for the most part, it was chill.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But after the fact, after I got it, everyone in my life loves it. every single person in my life. I'm not kidding. Okay. And they might be lying to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
They totally could be lying to me, but I don't think anyone doesn't like it in my intimate like circle or like in my, not even necessarily in my intimate circle, but like people that I see consistently have only said nice things, you know, like nobody. And I'm, I'm not an idiot. Okay. I know when somebody is like, Oh, that looks really good. And they don't mean it because people do that to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I've been falsely complimented before. You know, I know what that feels like. And I'm the first one to say like, oh, I can tell that they fucking hate it. That wouldn't stop me. But I would know that. I am 90% sure. We'll leave the 10% just in case. 90% sure that people genuinely like it. Okay. Especially like, especially in person.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
You know, like on social media is one thing, but like in person, seeing me with it in person, people have really seemed to like it. Okay. Men and women. Okay. If anything, I actually think I've gotten, you know, more compliments from, from men. Like the men in my life love this hair. Which leads me to, you know, like, are men attracted to me still? I've had no issue.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I've not noticed any change in that at all, okay? I don't very often get flirted with, to be honest. Like every once in a while, every once in a while, I'll get flirted with. You know what I'm saying? Like somebody who has no clue who I am just comes up to me and will flirt with me and I can tell that they have no clue. And obviously like I am always in a relationship. That's just Emma.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
That's just Emma style. So I, I, I've never like dated a guy or gone on a date with a guy who's come up and flirted with me because almost every single time it's ever happened, I've had a boyfriend. Um, But it's seeming to happen at the same rate, if not even like a little bit more than it used to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
It was like a side part and like a comb over. Like, not my style. OK, it never I always felt like it wasn't flattering. I just couldn't comprehend it. And it's funny because my own mother had a pixie cut. In fact, she's had a pixie cut my entire life and I still didn't like it, although that actually might have made me hate the haircut more because.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like I think I've been flirted with probably in let's say the last like six months since I got the haircut. I've probably been flirted with in public like twice. It really doesn't happen to me a lot. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just an acquired taste. When my hair was long, when my hair was short, it does not happen a lot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
In fact, in the last few years, I've probably been flirted with in public like three times. And then in the last six months, it's happened twice that I can remember where like somebody's really made an effort with me. I'm not sensing an issue. If anything, I think that the boys are loving me more than ever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So like with strangers, it hasn't been impacted in my personal relationship, romantic that I'm in currently, no issue. In fact, the opposite, I feel like it's actually like deeply enjoyed and actually that person was like, you should absolutely get that haircut. That's sick. And it's going to look so fucking cool. And then I got it. And then they were like, this looks great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And you look hot and gorge and like a baddie. I've only gotten positive responses. I've been getting more compliments from strangers than I've ever gotten in my life. Okay. On the hair, but also just on my style. And I think it could be sort of like a combination of things. I think it could be the hair.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I think it could also be the fact that I feel like I've really honed in on my personal style a lot recently. I do think that I'm in a really good, like exciting, inspired place with my own sense of style. Um, I'm feeling really good about it. I'm like loving it. I love what's in my closet. I love styling what's in my closet. Everything feels cohesive.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Everything matches, you know, it's sort of like, just it's like a fucking play pen in my closet for me. I just go in and I play and everything looks really good with the hair. It's just like equilibrium. It's just homeostasis. It's just, it's balance. It's happiness. It's joy. It's fulfillment. I'm loving it. I'm loving it right now. I'm really loving it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I'm feeling fulfilled by it and happy with it. Is the hair a part of that? Yes, it is. Is it the sole reason I'm getting compliments? I don't think so. But I think it's an integral part of why I'm getting more compliments recently. Because I think it's a part of this sort of finding myself in my style. I've never gotten a lot of compliments in person. On the internet, yes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Whereas now it's funny because I feel like I'm actually getting more compliments in real life and less on the internet. Perhaps because I'm not showing as much of my outfits on the internet. I need to show more of my outfits. I feel like I've just been, oh my God, just cooking. I've been cooking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I've been putting together such good outfits, but nobody takes a fucking photo of me in these goddamn outfits. I'm too busy living in the moment. Looking cute in the moment, okay? But anyway, I just have been getting a lot of compliments and I'm not trying to brag. I'm not trying to brag, okay? I can't help it. I'm just telling you what I've observed. Okay, the people love me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Listen, I'm about to talk about people making fun of me soon. So just let me enjoy this moment. Let me relish. Let me relish in this. I've also been receiving compliments that are sort of praising my bravery. People being like, oh my God, your hair looks so cute. Like, I wish I could do that, but I'm too scared. Oh my God, your hair looks so cute.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But like, oof, like I would look so bad if I did that. You're so brave. A lot of that. And I think that's because a lot of people underestimate how flattering short hair actually is. People are like, oh my God, it would look so bad on me. For them, no, it wouldn't. No, it wouldn't. I don't care who you are. If you're a girl and you have short hair, yes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
You know, like when I'm not wearing makeup right now, if you're watching the video episode of this, you'll see that I'm not wearing makeup. If you're watching the video episode, I'm putting my... It looks cute, but yes, I look maybe perhaps a bit boyish stereotype. Who cares? Shut the fuck. Who cares?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
When we're like tweens, teens, we like rebelling against our parents. Any kind of authority, I was rebelling against it. And it's funny because now all of the things that my mom loved, you know, her pixie haircut, her favorite color was olive green and she loved, you know, olive green like cargo pants and, you know, like... buying an olive green purse. It's always been like her favorite color.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I encourage you, if you love short hair and you really want to get it, to get past that, to push past that. That is not a reason not to do it. I think it's worth a try because I think you'd be shocked at how flattering it is. And I think you'd be shocked at how you can pull it off. especially, especially if you love fashion, it just makes getting dwelled up even more fun, you know?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Anyways, last but not least, my favorite interaction that I've had in person was when I was, I think I was at a store or like at a mall or something. I was somewhere in public and And a little kid walked past me. Little kids are just unhinged. A little kid walked past me and I don't think I was wearing makeup. I don't think I was wearing makeup. I don't remember.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I don't remember what I was wearing. But anyways, a little kid walked past me and like screamed. Oh my God, I feel so bad for the parent. The parent felt so bad. Luckily, I don't care. But like if I was somebody who, it could have been a catastrophe. The little kid was like, Hey, you, are you a girl or a boy to me? And I was like, I'm a girl. I'm a girl. And they were like, oh, okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I love talking about how I feel about it on a personal, deep, emotional, spiritual level. I love talking about how people are responding to it. I love talking about how scared I was and then how rewarding it was to do. I love talking about my goddamn haircut. But unfortunately, I don't get to talk about it that much because people have other interests.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I was like, that is fucking funny. I thought it was hilarious. I will say for a second, I was like, oh God, you know, damn. But then I was like, who cares? Who cares? And it was a kid and it was like, whatever, you know, it was, so that was probably the worst thing that's happened or worst, not even worse, but like the most extreme thing that's happened.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And even that wasn't that big of a deal. But now let's discuss the responses on the internet, because I will say the responses on the internet have been the most bad. However, you know, don't let this deter you, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Because if you're somebody who's not a public figure, you're not on the internet like that, then you really have nothing to worry about because all of my IRL in real life experiences have been a delight. Even the one with the kid was funny. I laugh about it now. It's a funny story.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I think that my list of observations from my IRL experiences should motivate you to get the pixie because it's been such a beautiful experience. The internet, people think I look like Ellen DeGeneres. Yeah, I mean, I totally get it. Ellen DeGeneres has blue eyes and a blonde pixie. I look like Ellen DeGeneres if she maybe liked fashion a little bit more.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
To me, Ellen DeGeneres, I'm never seeing her in an outfit that wows me, right? And that's because I think that that's by design. I don't think Ellen's trying to impress me with her outfit, right? I've never met Ellen, so I feel like I can talk about her this way because I've never met her.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But yeah, so people are saying that I look like her, which I don't think is necessarily like, that's not inherently an insult because it is like sort of true. But I do think that people are trying to say it to me in an insulting way. And this is not me disrespecting Ellen DeGeneres. It's everyone else disrespecting me and Ellen DeGeneres.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
They're like trying to say like, oh, you look like Ellen DeGeneres in like a derogatory way, which I... That's fine. You know what? That's fine. People are also definitely questioning my sexuality and my... in my gender, people are really perplexed by it. And it's interesting because that was mostly the case in a video that I posted on my YouTube channel about getting rid of a lot of my clothes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I showed all of the clothes that I kept after getting rid of like everything in my closet. In that video, I had my short hair at that point. And And in that video, I wasn't wearing makeup. I was like just feeling kind of raw and natural because a lot of times that's kind of my vibe on it. That's just like I don't like get all dolled up to film a YouTube video for my own channel.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
You know, like I get dolled up to go to a fashion show or to a red carpet or or maybe get dolled up to like go to a wedding or, you know, to go out to dinner or to go on a date or something, not even necessarily on a date. Because I only go on dates when I'm like dating a guy, really. At least that's the only, and at that point I'm like, you know I don't wear makeup, babe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Now it's one of my favorite colors. It's somehow involved in almost every outfit. Anyway, it's funny. I've come full circle and now I love all of the things that my mom loves. But anyway, I was rebelling against her probably as a teen tween and it probably didn't help with how I felt about the pixie haircut. But anyway, I absolutely fucking hated it. I thought it was hideous.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
We're doing a little bit of lip liner, max. You're stuck with me now. I'm not fucking putting makeup on for you. I'm doing my skincare routine before we go out to dinner. So that after dinner I can brush my teeth and go straight to bed. Okay? You know the drill. Anyways, but sometimes I like to, you know, do a little makeup. Anyway, I wasn't wearing makeup in this video.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And so, yeah, like I maybe looked a bit less feminine in the video. And there were a lot of comments I noticed just being like, number one, like saying I looked bad, looked ugly, which is mean. But more interestingly, you know, just really questioning my sexuality and my gender and all these things, which is fine. Like, I don't care. but that's not the most comfortable thing to deal with.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I mean, I can't even complain about it because there are so many people on this planet who deal with that on a far more extreme, far more challenging scale. So I'm very aware of that. However, it's not fun. It isn't fun. It was kind of like, really? me not wearing makeup, having my hair undone and short or whatever is fully making you question, you know, things about me that you already know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like it's fast. It's just fascinating to me. Like everyone knows my sexuality. Everybody knows my, or not everybody, but like my audience, you know, for the most part, maybe it's not my audience making these comments anyway, but I just found it interesting that it felt like there were certain people who were like, wait a minute. I thought you were a straight woman. I am.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
People are like, she has to be at least bi. And it's like, you guys, number one, who cares? Actually, who cares? But number two, nothing has changed just because I got a haircut. I got a haircut. Everybody expresses themselves differently and it doesn't necessarily reflect those things. I briefly mentioned this earlier, but people really think I'm kind of ugly when I'm not wearing makeup.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like people are really like, whoa, Emma, you have never looked worse. You look hideous. You look like an old woman. Like lots of mean comments, lots of insults about my appearance, which I've gotten before. Like I've had phases in my career of being a public figure where people have been like, someone's looking ugly. Someone's looking a bit chubby. Someone's looking a little too thin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Somebody's looking a little bit emaciated. Somebody's look like they're dying. Someone looks like they're dying. Like I've gotten it all. It's definitely picked up. It's definitely picked up a little bit since I've cut the hair. And... You know, people don't aren't like not everyone gets it. You know, not everyone likes it. Not everyone gets it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And a lot of people are like, like, okay, Emma used to be so stylish. And then now like she fell off. Like what? Like the style is horrible. The hair is horrible. Emma fell off. But it's the irony of that is that I've never felt more like, okay, I'm figuring it out. You know, like, I've never felt more me. And I think it's hit or miss. Like, a lot of people don't like it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I think the truth of the matter is, this is not a mainstream haircut choice. I have a lot of, like, creative people in my life, a lot of artists, a lot of people who, you know, have exposed themselves to more fashion, perhaps. People who have exposed themselves to... more art in general, perhaps than the average person. There's a lot of people in my life who find this stuff interesting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And so I do think that because of that, there's more people in my life. Like I maybe have had a better experience, like a nicer response to my haircut in my personal life because I'm just, that's my environment. Those are the people in my life. And so perhaps the way the Internet has responded is the way that, you know, the average friend group would respond to somebody cutting their hair.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I couldn't understand it. Like Katy Perry had a pixie. Who else? Pink. I don't know. Like Anne Hathaway had a pixie at one point. Like there was just a lot of pixies going on and I just was always like, I don't like that. I just don't like it. I think it's not cute. And I just remember thinking to myself as a young person, like I will never do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
The average, you know, community around somebody. I'm not sure. I'm not sure if that's just the Internet or if that's actually how majority of people would respond. Right. But, you know, it doesn't really matter. Because I love this haircut so much that it is worth people on the internet not liking it, not getting it. It's worth people sort of questioning parts of my identity, perhaps.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I don't care. I have nothing to prove. You know what I mean? I don't need people to understand or even know my sexuality or my, like, it doesn't matter to me. It doesn't matter. The only time that that plays a, it's kind of like relevant is when dating. Okay. And I'm not dating, so I don't fucking care. Do you know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
If I was out and dating, if I was like, yeah, then maybe it's like, okay, well, you know, this is something that I guess is going to be more relevant in my life or whatever, but. But even then, even then you fucking like, who cares? You figure it out. You talk to people and you learn about them and you figure out if you're compatible. You know what I'm saying? Whatever, whatever. I don't care.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I don't care. Like it doesn't matter. So anywho, I love my fucking short hair. I love my pixie. I'm going to keep going shorter and fucking shorter until I have a goddamn buzz cut because I love having short hair so much. I think it is one of the best things I've ever done. I love it. I absolutely love it. And it is absolutely worth it. And I'm grateful.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I'm grateful to live in a time and to live in a place where, I don't know, I can cut my hair. There's definitely, you know, some cultures and religions that don't believe in cutting hair on a woman or don't believe cutting a woman's hair. And I'm not disrespecting anyone, okay? But I'm just saying, I'm just grateful that, you know, I get to do that. If you, this is your sign. Oh my God, here I go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
This is your fucking sign to get that pixie cut, okay? This is your fucking sign, okay? If you've been thinking like, oh my God, should I get a pixie cut? This is your fucking sign. Me right now telling you this. Anyway, that's all I have for today. My pixie cut update, if you will. That's it. That's my update. I hope that you all enjoyed this episode.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
If you did, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Listen anywhere you stream podcasts. Watch video on Spotify and YouTube. Okay? Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. My personal social media is at Emma Chamberlain. And check out my coffee company at ChamberlainCoffee.com or at ChamberlainCoffee on social media or Sprouts, Whole Foods. Where else?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Sprouts, Whole Foods, Albertsons, Target. Go pick up Chamberlain Coffee in a store near you. Check out the store locator to see where we are close to you. And that's it. Thank you all for listening to me talk for the last, I don't know, hour. Um, it's always a pleasure. I absolutely love hanging out with you all. It is so much fun and I am just grateful for you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I appreciate you all and I love you all and I will be talking to you pretty soon. Okay. So you won't have to miss me. All right. I'll be back. Bye. Love you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And then, you know, interestingly enough, my taste shifted and it shifted in such an intense way. I don't think my opinion has ever shifted so strongly about anything in my life. Okay. And I've, uh, I've changed my mind about quite a few things, but this was one of the like biggest changes. I went from hatred to obsession. Like it felt like overnight. Yeah.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
suddenly I just loved the way it looked. I feel like what really happened was my sense of style just simply evolved. And the pixie haircut was one of the things that became beautiful in my eyes. And I mean, there's been so many things that over the years I've grown to really love and appreciate. Like I can give you some other examples. Um, Honestly, like flat shoes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like I used to hate flat shoes. Thought that they made the foot look too small and narrow. Anyway, I absolutely love them. Now, one of my favorite types of shoes, capris took me a while to like, and now I absolutely love a capri. You know, long skirts. I hated a long skirt for a long time. And then one day I was like, wait a minute, that's really chic. The list goes on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
There's been a lot of things that have taken me a while to fully appreciate. But just through developing my taste, I've ended up really liking them. And I think the pixie cut is a part of that. But it's almost like the pixie cut was like, it was this thing that I just never thought I'd like. So it's so shocking. over the last few years, I've scrolled on Pinterest a lot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I've seen a lot of runway shows. I've looked at a lot of fashion books. I've just exposed myself to a lot of fashion, not even necessarily more than the average, well, probably more than the average person just because it's something that I like. And yeah, so for whatever reason, I've really grown to love the pixie cut.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Some of the references that really stood out to me were number one, Audrey Hepburn. Okay. Audrey Hepburn had a cute little pixie. I feel like no one's talking about it. People are probably totally talking about it. I didn't ever remember her as being somebody who had a pixie and I'm not a big Audrey Hepburn fan, but I just didn't even know she had one.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
They don't want to talk about my haircut more than once. Sometimes they don't want to talk about my haircut at all. And that's hard for me. Today, I'm letting myself indulge. Today, I'm gonna spend probably the next hour talking about my haircut. And you know why that's appropriate? Because I just got my haircut again, and I got it cut shorter than I ever have in my entire life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And then I like noticed it and I was like, wow, it looks so good on her. It looks so natural on her. I didn't even process that it was a pixie. So that was really sort of moving. Also Twiggy, the 60s mod icon, of course. Edie Sedgwick, another one. These are like two, you know, model it girls of like the 60s. Winona Ryder in the 90s, such a good pixie cut.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
All these pixie cuts are timeless, subtle, and just so just elegantly done. Unlike the pixie of the 2010 that to me was a catastrophe. It was a catastrophe. It was like this sort of like faux punk, like neon, like pixie. It was just not cute to me. And it still isn't cute to me. Oh my God, Rihanna had a pixie too, although hers was actually one of the best of the era. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
It like felt the most timeless. It was still trendy, but it felt the most timeless. But yeah, I like just saw a lot of those girly pops on my Pinterest and eventually I just grew to love it. But I think there was also a bit of a fantasy around having the short hair because I hated styling my hair so much and I've just never been good at it. You know, some people are so good at styling their hair.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I'm just not one of those people. I knew short hair would be easier, right? Like, how hard could it be? Like, you don't need to, like, go get a blowout when you have a pixie. Like, I mean, I guess you could... But I don't know what it would even look like. So it just felt like it would be easier. And I think I had another fantasy about it being sort of like an accessory.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like it would elevate every outfit. It would make every outfit feel chicer and more interesting, more intriguing. It's like if you have a ballsy haircut, the outfit will read differently because I think a pixie cut is a bit ballsy. So like that takes an outfit that maybe to start is like a bit – it's like it's interesting. It's intriguing. It's maybe a bit outside the box.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But then if you pair it with a pixie, it's like everything feels intentional. I don't know. So that's how I felt. Those were sort of the thoughts whirling around my head as I suddenly found myself loving the pixie haircut. But then I remember seeing a video. And this is just how crazy the algorithm is today because I don't think I even Googled. Well, maybe I was looking it up on Pinterest.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So somehow YouTube recommended to me a video and the video was titled something along the lines of why do people hate women after they cut their hair off or something of that of that is something of that nature. Let me try to find it so I can credit the woman who made it. OK, I found it. I found the video. Why do we hate women after they've cut their hair off? A video by Jordan Teresa.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So this video pops up on my YouTube explore page. And I was like, oh, God. Oh, no. Is this a horrible idea? Like, is everyone going to hate me now? What is this? So I briefly skimmed through the video because I was like, I don't want to deter myself from getting this haircut because for some reason people hate women who have short hair, apparently. Like, I want to make my choice for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So I'm not going to let this fuck with my head. So I briefly skimmed through it. It was basically about how the pixie haircut is sort of controversial. How a lot of, you know, pop culture figures, celebrities... have gotten their haircut into a pixie and then seemingly fallen out of favor shortly after. Whether it's related, you know, it's kind of up for debate. But that was sort of a point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And, you know, she sort of discussed societal norms, femininity, all of this, right? It was very, very well done. So go check that out if you want. I found this video to be equally frightening because I wanted to get the haircut and interesting. And it sort of stuck with me, this idea that people don't really like women with a pixie cut. Like it kind of traumatized me, this sentiment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like, the haircut I just got is a full-on pixie, okay? It was sort of pixie-adjacent prior, but it was more of like a little short shag haircut. I have a full pixie now. Like my hair is the same length as my dad's. It's short, short. And I don't know, to me, that's like an excuse to talk about the haircut again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But I was also like, I can't let this stop me. If I want to get this haircut, I'm going to get this haircut. And I dug in deeper and to try to figure out like why people hate the pixie cut and why are people so afraid of it? Like there are so many people who are so afraid of getting a pixie cut, like people who even really love a pixie cut who are like, oh, I would never do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like, why is it such a big deal, right? And so I did a bit more research into it And it seems like people dislike short hair on women for a few reasons. Now, this is according to the internet, okay? This is not according to me. I am simply the messenger. This is what the internet told me. Number one, it goes against the feminine beauty standard, okay? And that makes it uncomfortable to look at.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I can't even blame people for that. Right. Like I can't like I felt that way probably. Although I don't know. I think I genuinely didn't like it because I thought it was unflattering for the most part. But but you know what? Who knows? I might have also not liked it because it was going against the norm. Right. I feel like that wasn't the case, but it could have been.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
It probably was at least a portion of it. Right. I also read that people associate short hair on women with independent, strong women, and that this is particularly threatening to men because it's a risky choice. You know, it's definitely like going against what, you know, men stereotypically, straight men stereotypically find attractive.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So like if you get your hair cut short, you don't give a fuck about what men think about you, you know? And so it's sort of making a statement in that way. I thought that was kind of fascinating. And I was like, huh, you know, that's not where my head was at. But I was kind of like, oh, that'll be interesting to see if that ends up happening in my life.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like if, you know, I'm intimidating to men, I guess. Like, okay, we'll see. Or if they don't like me or are less attracted to me because of the hair. Some people see women chopping all their hair off as a sign of mental instability, which I thought was funny because like most of us, I am mentally unstable sometimes. And I talk about my mental instability a lot on the internet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And so I was like, oh, people are probably going to think I'm having a meltdown. I do think that mental instability can lead to extreme measures. Like I've been tempted to like take extreme measures in my life when I'm mentally unstable. Like, you know, yeah, like chop my hair off or like, I don't know, like cut off everyone I know and run away.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Like you just, when you're mentally unstable, you, you, you can have a tendency to, to say fucking and like do something extreme. But I think when it comes to short hair, I think majority of women with a pixie cut are, just have a pixie cut because they like it. I actually don't think that that's an accurate representation of like why women get a pixie cut.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
So that's basically why people hate the pixie haircut, at least according to Google in that video I watched, right? And all of this to me was like, oh my God, everyone fucking relax.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
It's like, oh my God, I just want to like chic, like I just want a chic little haircut and I want to like hop out of the shower and I want my hair to dry in like five minutes and I want it to like, you know, look cute and spiky and edgy and I want to be able to like, I don't know. Like, it just like, it sounds fun to me. It's not that deep to me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I do think that that is sort of a modern perspective, right? I think today getting a short haircut is like no big deal. Who cares? It's not really as edgy. It's not as big of a deal as it once was. But I do think that there's some lingering tension around it, right? From the past and whatever. But I ultimately decided that I didn't care.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Well, I guess I wouldn't say that I didn't care, but I ultimately decided that I was going to do it anyway because it's what I wanted to do. But I definitely was bracing myself for what might happen. Am I going to fall out of favor with people? Are boys not going to be attracted to me? Um, are, you know, people going to like find me ugly? What's going to happen?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
But I, I ultimately make decisions based on what I think is going to be chic and fun. You know, like I'm the one who gets dressed every morning. I'm the one who styles my hair every day. Like, I think I'm pretty good about making fashion choices for me. And I'm also aware of like making a mistake, you know, not getting it right the first time. Like, and I was kind of okay with,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Westin Hotels and Resorts. Westin Hotels is designed with your wellbeing in mind. With more than 200 destinations around the world, Westin Hotels makes it possible to keep up with your wellness routine while traveling. With signature amenities and offerings that help you move well, eat well, and sleep well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
The fact that, you know, the haircut might not look good on me and I might have to, you know, figure that out or it might not be right the first time or whatever. Like I was ready for all of that because I was excited about my new hairstyle journey. And so I did it. I cut it off and it's been a few months. Okay. And I've had varying lengths. I've had like a shorter shag, a longer shag.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
Now I have a full pixie and I've had it for long enough that I've been able to fully analyze everything. Okay. How it makes me feel, how I truly feel about it. the people in my life and, you know, people in real life, maybe people I don't even know, but like just real life responses. And then of course, online responses. And I've had enough time to fully experience the response.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
the psychology of the pixie haircut [video]
And I wanted to share what I've observed with you all because I went into it definitely very frightened. And I guess I would have loved to have heard all this when I was considering the haircut. my mom has had a pixie cut her entire life, but like, she doesn't care. Like she's not analyzing. She's like, it's so not that deep for her that I like, we didn't even have this conversation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I discuss my morals and values frequently. Anyone who knows me, anyone who talks to me, knows how important my morals and values are to me. On the top of my list of priorities are following and abiding by my morals and values, but also constantly working on and strengthening my morals and values. This is a key characteristic of me. which is why it's hilarious how bad I am at it sometimes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
When you see a beloved friend whom you haven't seen in a while has lost a few pounds, you A, instantly start feeling like you need to lose as well in order to keep up. B, tell her she's lost too much weight. Or C, compliment her on how great she looks. Okay, well, I would do none of these things. Actually, no, I actually would probably. Can I be honest? I'm going to be so honest with you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I would probably look at her and be like, fuck, I'm jealous. Like, I want to do that. That is absolutely how my brain works. That's actually a great example of how I'm sort of, that's not really, I guess, me being a hater, but me just being toxic, okay? So I actually would do that. So I'm actually going to choose that because I would never tell her that she lost too much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And I would actually probably not even compliment her on how great she looks. I would clock it. And I would, if anything, compliment her on somebody else, because I know how it can be a bit iffy to comment on somebody's weight, even if they look incredible. It's just fucking it's a mess.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Like when I've lost a bit of weight, whether it's genuinely healthy and it's just because I've been exercising more, moving more or just, you know, maybe eating more nutritionally, less processed foods, whatever. Or it's because I'm having some sort of psychological issue. Yeah. If somebody comments on it, it always fucks with me. So I really try to not do that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I'm going to answer that I'd instantly start feeling like I need to lose weight as well in order to keep up because to be honest, that is kind of my vibe sometimes. And especially recently, as I've been sort of toxic and a hater, that unfortunately checks out. So we're going to click that. Moving on to the next. You run into your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend while at Starbucks.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
What is your reaction when she approaches and says hi? A, begin looking at her flaws and wonder why he's with her and not you. B, tell her that her boyfriend wasn't man enough for you. Or C, you're cordial to her and say hi. Well, I would definitely say hi. So I'm going to select that one. But I definitely would probably psychoanalyze her, critically analyze her, and compare myself to her 1,000%.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Because again, that's inevitable. I don't even know if I could avoid that. That's It's a little bit toxic, but I definitely would do that. But because I would be cordial and say hi, I'm going to choose the healthier option. Yeah, I'm going to be cordial and say hi. Okay, next. What is your reaction when you find out that the promotion you wanted goes to a coworker you believe doesn't deserve it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
A, start crafting a plan that will show your boss that you should have gotten the promotion. B, tell your boss every misstep that your coworker makes or complain that you were the one that deserved the promotion. Or three, congratulate him or her on getting the promotion. I would absolutely, absolutely be livid. I would probably fixate on it and allow it to torture me for the next few months.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
But I can guarantee that I would not ever bring it up. I mean, I am my own boss. So, you know, it's hard to say. what I would do in that situation. But I, knowing myself enough, would assume that I wouldn't ever bring it to my boss. And I would just congratulate them on getting the promotion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I mean, I guess there's a chance that I might craft a plan to show my boss that I should have gotten the promotion by sort of overachieving. That's actually something I might do. But it would be less about trying to take the other person down. And I think it actually would be more about just trying to get a promotion. Although maybe it would be about bringing the other person down a little bit.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I don't know. That's possible. I'm going to say that I'd congratulate him or her on getting the promotion, but there is a chance that I might craft a plan to show my boss that I should have gotten the promotion, but in a way where it's never confrontational. I would never say that out loud. Anyway. Okay. Next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
It is in my list of morals and values to not be a hater. I think that's on most people's lists. of morals and values. However, for some of us, it's incredibly challenging not to be a hater. Now, when I say I'm a hater, I'm a closeted hater. Like, no one knows how much of a hater I am. In fact, majority of the hating goes on in the privacy of my own mind. No one even knows it's happening, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
You've been meaning to finally write a book about your wonderful idea, but you've never found the time. You venture to the bookstore and see somebody has written a book on your exact idea. How do you react? A, begin thinking that there's not a chance for you to create the book of your dreams. B, write a letter to the author threatening to sue them for stealing your idea.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And if the author doesn't respond, you begin emailing the publisher. And C, begin thinking there must be a market for your dream book and head home so you can start writing. Well, I mean, if there's genuinely a chance that somebody stole my idea, like if that author is somebody that I know and they stole the idea, fuck yeah, I'm threatening to sue them. Why not? That's fucked up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I'm not afraid of legal action. I avoid it as we all do. But if somebody steals something blatantly, like, by the way, if I steal something even on accident or something that I create is, you know, too close to their thing, maybe I reference something in my what I created was too close to theirs. They should send a cease and desist. They absolutely should.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Tell me that that's something that you're uncomfortable with.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
include the law to scare me not that I need to be scared because if somebody tells me that you know they're not cool with something I'm like no worries let's sort it out but you know not everybody is like that some people need the law to be involved to be scared like I I get it okay if I do something wrong if I overstep send me a cease and desist let's fucking figure this out you know what I mean
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
But it sounds like in this scenario, that is not the case. It's a coincidence. It's just an unfortunate coincidence. I'd love to say that I'd begin thinking that there must be a market for my dream book and I head home to start writing. I don't think that that is the case. I think that I would start to think that there's not a chance for me to create the book of my dreams. It already exists.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And so I think that I'd probably experience a few months of discouragement. And I think I would eventually... Is discouragement a word? Googling it. It is. Holy shit. I'm a fucking genius sometimes. Anyway, I think I would experience a few months of discouragement. Emma's new word. And eventually I'd get over it and I would feel better again. But for a long time, I would lose hope.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
So that is how I'm going to answer. Okay, last question. You see a drop dead gorgeous man holding the door open for you. Once inside, his face lights up as a not so put together woman approaches him. He leans over, kisses her and grabs her hand and ecstatically takes her to their destination. What's your reaction? Think to myself, why did he choose her? What does she have that I don't?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Or tell your girlfriends that all the fine men want an ugly woman because she will cater to their every need. Or say, aw, how cute. I do think that the human reaction when seeing a couple that like doesn't make logical sense is together. You're like, what the fuck? Like, I do think that that's sort of normal. In fact, people have probably thought that about me with guys that I've dated.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
You know what I'm saying? There's been times where I've been like, I look so bad right now. And the guy I'm dating looks hot. But also like, even now, like I cut my hair really short. And like, I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, oh God, people probably look at, me and, you know, said boyfriend and are like, oh, something's off there. You know, what does she have? I don't know what I have, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Maybe fun personality. Maybe I'm just fun to hang out with, okay? And that's enough. No, but, you know, it's human. Like, I think people probably think that about me. I think that about other people sometimes. I think that that's totally normal. So there is a good chance that I would think to myself, well, why did he choose her?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
You know, like, what does she have that... Maybe less, what does she have that I don't, but more like, I wonder what it is, you know? I definitely don't think I would tell all my friends that all fine men want an ugly woman because I just don't think that that's true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And also, I think, again, like, calling somebody an ugly woman, I mean, even in my meanest... I'm never... I never am mean in that way. I'm never a hater in that way. I'm never, like... I rarely, even in my head, even in the confines of my mind, am calling somebody ugly because I... I actually genuinely don't really feel that way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I mean, there's people that I'm not attracted to and then there's people I am attracted to, but that's different. Like thinking somebody's ugly, that very rarely comes up for me. So yeah, I'm not probably saying that Would I say, oh, how cute? Actually, yes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I think there's something even comforting for me about seeing like a really, really attractive man with maybe like a more sort of normal, like maybe average looking woman. Like that makes me feel good in some ways. I like actually look at that at times and I'm like, that makes me feel better. Like I don't need to be... It's not about that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
It just proves that love and romance is not just about appearance. And so there's something kind of beautiful about that. So I do think I would say, oh, how cute. But I also do think I'd think, oh, why did he choose her? But because I'm going to say, oh, how cute, because I actually don't think, yeah, I don't think I'm that toxic about that. Okay, so it said... You're a winner and an encourager.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
If others are making progress and having great success, you don't feel belittled. You feel empowered. I don't know about that, but on the outside, I maybe show people that that's the case. You understand that what's possible for others is also possible for you and vice versa. Keep this energy going. You're a star. Wow, thank you. Oh my God, that's very nice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
But I know it's happening. And I think being somewhat of a hater is inevitable. You know, like there are moments when you're going to dislike someone, something, and you're going to have those feelings towards it. And it just is what it is. But I have a tendency to like become a chronic hater again. Not necessarily on the outside, like I'm actually pretty proud of my character on the outside.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Continue being a positive example to the people in your life. Okay, I totally get it. I was taking these quizzes to like almost make me feel worse about myself. Like I was kind of hoping like, Oh, you know, I'll take these quizzes and find out that I'm a fucking asshole and it'll make me more inspired to stop being a hater.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
But my version of being a hater is clearly so internal and so well contained that I guess it's less of an issue. And these very reputable quizzes are not picking up on how fucking toxic I am. So I guess it's time to move on. I am going to Google how to stop being a hater and see what it tells me, okay? Let's just see what the internet has to say to me.
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how to stop being a hater
Let's see what advice the internet has for me. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Skims. So you guys know how hard it can be finding the right bra and underwear, right? I remember in high school wearing thongs for the first time and just being so uncomfortable because I was wearing a thong that had too much fabric.
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how to stop being a hater
Okay, here's the first article I found. It's wikiHow. Duh. wikiHow.life. This article is called How to Stop Hating. Okay, let's see what it tells me. Part one. Stop hating everybody. Assume the best about people instead of the worst. This is something that I struggle with, not just about others, but also with myself.
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Like when I'm having a really hard time with productivity and I'm just not getting a lot done, I assume it's because I'm lazy and I'm a loser and I'm incapable of accomplishing things. I don't often consider when I'm in a phase of being a hater the potential that I might just be exhausted, burnt out, fatigued, having an off day, having an off week even.
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how to stop being a hater
I immediately jump to the conclusion that it's all my fault and I'm horrible and I'm lazy and I'm a piece of shit and I will never accomplish anything. And it is too harsh. It is unfair. But it's also something I do, you know, with other people, of course. That's why we're here. That's why we're having this conversation today.
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how to stop being a hater
If someone comes off cold to me, right, in my head, I might be like, what a fucking asshole. Like, what a bad person. Why was that person rude to me? Why did that person give me the cold shoulder? What an asshole. Instead of looking at that person and asking myself, what is going on in their life that is making them put out bad energy? But I jump to conclusions and I'm like, they're an asshole.
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how to stop being a hater
Or if somebody says something kind of out of touch or like maybe a bit inconsiderate, right? Nothing like truly harmful, but just something a little bit, a little whack, right? Instead of being like, you know, I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt. They're not a bad person. They've shown me for the most part that they are actually a good person.
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This was sort of just, you know, a brief miss. This was like a little miss. You know what I mean? They missed. They missed the mark on that statement. But for the most part, they're good. I'll jump to conclusions when I'm being a hater and be like, oh, everything nice and kind that this person has ever done is now discounted by this one moment of bad or mediocre behavior.
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how to stop being a hater
I truly think that I am kind and welcoming and nonjudgmental and flexible and easygoing on the outside. It's on the inside that I can be an absolute hater, okay? A hater. Now, I'm not just a hater towards myself. I'm a hater towards everyone and everything else as well. That's the problem. No one is safe. I'm not safe and neither is anyone else.
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how to stop being a hater
I judge people based on their worst moment, which is not necessarily fair because if somebody doesn't have a lot of bad moments, But you're basing their entire character on their one bad moment. Like, that's not fair because that's not who they are. You know, based on people's life experience, they're better at handling certain topics. And sometimes people drop the ball.
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how to stop being a hater
And, you know, I think when you're in a hating situation, state of mind, you immediately judge people based on that, you know? And I think it's good to be somewhat critical of people, right? And critical of yourself and not be an enabler of bad behavior. But being a hater is to just jump to the most negative conclusion. And that's definitely what I'm doing right now.
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how to stop being a hater
So I do actually think it's a good piece of advice. Don't assume the best about people instead of the worst. Practice giving people the benefit of the doubt. I know how to do that. It's in me to do that. I've had phases of my life where I do that. I can get back there. Okay, that's good advice. Number two, learn to enjoy small talk.
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how to stop being a hater
You may also hate people because you just feel like you're always stuck talking to them when you'd rather be alone. I am experiencing that right now as I'm a hater. In fact, I've definitely noticed myself less inclined to have small talk recently, which I actually didn't connect to my current status as a hater. I didn't see a connection there.
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So it's very interesting that in this article it's saying, you know, enjoy small talk. Talk to people. Enjoy, you know, that's interesting because I, again, I did not connect those dots. And I definitely more recently just don't want to talk to people. I don't want to have small talk at all, you know.
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how to stop being a hater
If I'm at the grocery store or I'm at my yoga class or whatever, I really just don't want to talk to anyone. And I think to an extent that's normal. You know, there are certain parts of our routine that are social in the sense that people are around, but they're also recharging in an introverted way because you're not talking to these people. You're around people, but you're quiet.
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how to stop being a hater
And I actually think it's normal to enjoy those things. But I agree that, you know, maybe I should lean into a bit more small talk right now because I think talking to people and seeing how great most people are through small talk can sort of restore your faith in humanity and make you feel good, you know? Yeah. which helps you be less of a hater. So, okay. Next, give compliments.
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how to stop being a hater
Well, this is actually something that I do. Although I actually feel a bit guilty about it when I do it, but I do give a lot of compliments. I really try to be very complimentary. And this is actually something that I practice. I really try to be a complimentary person. whether I love someone or hate them.
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You know, I try to compliment everyone as often as possible because I think for me, it makes me feel less bad about the mean thoughts that I have. But I found that giving compliments for the sake of giving compliments doesn't actually make me feel good. It makes me feel guilty. I feel like I'm hiding something. And that's kind of what we're talking about today.
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how to stop being a hater
Like I give compliments and it makes people feel good and it hides the fact that I'm a hater on the inside, but it doesn't fix the fact that on the inside, I don't feel that way. I feel like a hater. I'm judging. I'm hating. I'm disliking. So I think it probably helps to try to retrain the brain to have positive thoughts instead of negative ones.
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how to stop being a hater
If you start to have a negative, judgmental, hater sort of thought, replace it with a compliment. I think that's not necessarily a bad idea. I just don't think it works for me because I do give compliments, but I still am a hater inside. But I do think that perhaps... maybe a practice that I could implement is giving really genuine compliments.
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how to stop being a hater
Like, you know, making a challenge out of like, okay, I'm judging this person or I don't really like this person or whatever. I'm going to try to give the most genuine compliment I can right now and not just give a compliment for the sake of a compliment. Like, that's helpful. And, you know, it makes people feel good. And... whatever, but it needs to be genuine in order for it to help me.
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how to stop being a hater
So maybe that's something I'll work on. Okay, next, open up to people. I have no problem with that. In fact, if anything, I do it too much. So this does not apply to me. Yeah, I don't have that issue. I have some sort of, I don't know, there's something in me. I can just vent and talk about myself and I overshare. I have a Okay, next. Think of all the ways that people can help you.
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how to stop being a hater
I do think that gratitude is one of the most helpful ways to combat hatred, though it's hard. When you're in a hater phase, you see everything through the most pessimistic lens. It's very hard to be like, no. But like, what a miracle it is that we're all here alive on this planet. Everybody's doing their best. For the most part, people are good and we help each other.
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how to stop being a hater
And when I look at it, I'm like, listen, Emma, you're not a hater on the outside. Most people don't even know you're a hater. It's all happening in the confines of your mind. Who is it really harming? And the truth is the only person it's harming is me. You know, I will talk a bit of shit to my loved ones every once in a while. You know, the closest people to me in my life.
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how to stop being a hater
It's hard to remind ourselves of these things when we're in a hater mindset. Because being a hater, it feels good. It's satisfying. And it's easy to like fall into the trap of like, just being a hater all the time because it's never appealing when you're in a hater mindset to like all of a sudden be grateful. You know what I'm saying? When you're in a hater state of mind, that's cringe.
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how to stop being a hater
You're like, ew, I don't want to do that. I want to keep talking shit about this person that I don't like. You know what I mean? Or I, I don't know. It's just, it's not, it's not easy. It's very counterintuitive. And you almost have to like Force yourself to think that way. Okay, next, volunteer. This is actually a great, a great suggestion.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
A lot of times we become a hater because our self-esteem is low. Self-esteem and hatred, they go hand in hand, okay? And one of the best things that you can do to rebuild your self-esteem is help people. It's just one of the best things you can do. And so volunteering is an incredible idea. If you're a hater, go and help people. For whatever reason...
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how to stop being a hater
it not only makes you hate yourself less, which then makes you hate others less, but it just makes you hate everything less because your faith in humanity is sort of restored. You're helping people. You're watching other people help people. You're seeing people in a vulnerable moment being helped. You are the one helping them. You're witnessing sort of a beautiful interaction
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
between human beings happening. And that helps you to restore your faith in humanity. And all of these things will help you be less of a hater. And so I should probably get involved in my community a bit more. Maybe that's something I should do this weekend because holy shit, have I been a hater recently? Okay, part two, stop hating a specific person.
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how to stop being a hater
Yeah, this is something that tends to happen to me. I will get angry at somebody or somebody will like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
kind of fuck me over or like slight me a little bit or something and then I just fucking hate them and that's that's something that again only on the inside they would never know never know in person I'm all good we're cool everything's cool but behind their back and in my heart I am angry okay so this is definitely something I need some advice on uh number one get your feelings out I definitely don't have an issue with that I do get my feelings out I love to vent to my loved ones
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And I probably do it a little bit too much, to be honest. So that I don't need to do. Number two, talk to the person if you think it will help. Ooh. See, that's the problem. That's the problem with me specifically. A lot of times I will hate someone that I can't talk to.
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how to stop being a hater
In fact, that's probably why I hate them because I can't confront them because we're either not close enough or we're not on speaking terms anymore. If it's like an ex and we broke up, I don't want to reach out again. I'm trying to keep that door closed. you know, or maybe even it's somebody I've never met. Perhaps it's somebody that I've seen on the internet or something.
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how to stop being a hater
For the most part, if I'm close with somebody enough to speak to them about a problem, I will speak to them. So my problem is like the people that I hate, I can't really talk to. I mean, if I ever got the chance, I probably would. But yeah, I don't know that that makes sense for me. Learn to forgive. Yeah, this is huge. I do think I have a tendency to hold a grudge.
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how to stop being a hater
Maybe sometimes it bleeds a bit wider than that. Dangerous. But for the most part, I keep it to myself. And it's not getting back to anyone. You know what I mean? It's just, it's normal human gossip, talking shit here and there. You know, I don't think it's to an unhealthy extent on the outside. Again, I don't think it's particularly harmful to others.
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how to stop being a hater
And it's hypocritical in a lot of ways because I would hope... that people would forgive me. You know what I mean? Like when I do wrong, I hope that people forgive me. So it is sort of hypocritical of me to be somebody who holds a grudge because I deeply value others' forgiveness towards me, right? So, okay, you know, I need to practice forgiveness.
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how to stop being a hater
Maybe every time I feel angry towards a person, I take a moment and say, you know what? I forgive them. I'm going to release this. I'm going to let this go. I'll give it a try. Avoid gossiping about the person. This is really hard for me. I absolutely, and this is a toxic trait and this is something about me that's not good. And we all have toxic traits. Okay. You have yours. I have mine.
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how to stop being a hater
I absolutely do love a bit of gossip here and there. I do. And it's probably shocking to those of you who listen to my podcast because a lot of podcasts are about gossip. Like a lot of podcasts are in one way or another about some sort of gossip.
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You know, it's like, it's something that, you know, many people can talk about for many hours on end, whether it's internet drama or, you know, it's political drama or it's, Personal stories, exposés, there's so much gossip in the podcasting space, and yet I avoided it at all costs. So you'd think, oh my God, Emma must not be a gossip girl. No, I am. I just don't do it publicly. I totally am.
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how to stop being a hater
And it's not great. Like, I'm not proud of it. But I'm kind of, it's one of my vices, you know? And I think it's something that I'm aware of as a problem, right? And so I go through phases. I will kind of remove gossiping from my life. It feels pretty good. But then I slip back into it. And when it goes hand in hand with me being a hater, it is just lethal.
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how to stop being a hater
you know, because I think you can gossip without being a hater. You know, I think being a hater is taking it to the next level, you know, is perhaps fixating on, you know, specific people, perhaps hitting below the belt, you know, like maybe saying stuff that's a little bit less fair, less helpful behind people's backs. You know, it's one thing to be like, huh, you know, this person's behavior is,
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how to stop being a hater
bit odd and unhealthy. And like, why do you think they're like that? Or blah, blah, blah. Like, that's also sort of gossip. But I think that's like helpful gossip. And I love that type of gossip. But I also love gossip of like, this person sucks. Like, I don't like this person. And I don't. And why are they like that? You know, and that's where we have a problem.
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how to stop being a hater
Because that's, again, very normal. And we all do it sometimes. But if you get into the habit of it, it's just toxic and it's negative. So I really need to work on my gossip. I always need to work on my gossip. Keep it in line. Keep it in check. Because I have a tendency to gossip. Focus on the people that you like. Absolutely.
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how to stop being a hater
But when I'm in a hater mood, I will even sometimes start hating the people around me. There are times when I'm in such a state of hater that I'll start to have negative, hateful thoughts about people that I love and that are key fixtures in my life, which is incredibly... self-destructive. It's self-destructive. And again, it's just toxic.
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how to stop being a hater
And so I think in those moments, I really have to focus on like, Emma, you got to just, you got to stop. You got to stop. Yeah. Move on to something that makes you happy. I do think it's important to to have things in your life that bring you joy and that are fulfilling. Because I've noticed I become a hater. I think I fall into like a hater phase for a multitude of reasons.
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how to stop being a hater
I don't think it's any one thing. I think it's low self-esteem. I think it's feeling betrayed by people. I think it's... being maybe a bit more depressed than usual, just for whatever reason, perhaps chemical, perhaps life circumstance, but being in sort of a depressed state of mind. And I think it's when my life lacks purpose, my life lacks depth, my life lacks joy.
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how to stop being a hater
But it's gotten to a point recently where it's clearly harmful for me, okay? For some reason that I'm not quite sure of yet, I've become sort of a hater recently and it's starting to bum me out. You know, it's starting to make me a little bit depressed and it's just not a good headspace to exist in. Like it's a negative headspace and it clouds everything that I see. I'm hateful towards myself.
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how to stop being a hater
When I'm in a phase where I don't have anything to look forward to, I don't have anything fun going on, that will contribute to me being a hater. And so I think the advice to move on to something that makes you happy is good advice because I think a lot of times we fall into that state because we have nothing bringing us joy. Hell yeah, that'll turn you into a hater.
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how to stop being a hater
Next, know that it may take time. I do think being patient with yourself is important in all things. We're always working on ourselves and sometimes it takes time. And so you can be aware that you have a problem with something and that you need to improve it. but rushing yourself or being frustrated that you're not fixing it fast enough only slows down the process. So that's true.
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how to stop being a hater
Okay, and then part three is developing a positive outlook, okay? This article is saying to meditate, which I think, you know, is never bad. Like meditating is always good. I've gone through phases in my life where I've really benefited from meditating. I've gone through phases in my life where it just hasn't worked for me. Perhaps I could try it again.
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how to stop being a hater
I do feel like I've not been taking a lot of time to like meditate and just chill and just close my eyes and breathe. I haven't been finding that time, even within other activities, right? Sometimes I can find meditation in other activities that I'm doing in my life, but I guess I haven't really been giving myself that. So perhaps that's something I should work on. Spend time in nature.
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how to stop being a hater
Yeah, that's true. Nothing will make you feel worse than being stuck inside stuck in a corporate building, stuck inside with the stresses of your life. You know what I mean? There's nothing worse than that. It is important to get out, get some fresh air. I agree. It does help you regain perspective and just overall be in a better mood. I've been really focusing on going on nightly walks.
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how to stop being a hater
mainly because I'm trying to hit 10,000 steps a day because that's one of my New Year's resolutions. And I've done it so far every single day. So I'm kind of killing it. Sorry that I'm killing it. Sorry to brag. 10K a day, every day. Can't help it. Actually, I literally keep pushing it to like 10 p.m. But I go on a night walk.
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how to stop being a hater
And sometimes it's the only time I go outside all day because I work inside. And I exercise a lot of times inside these days. I'm into hot yoga, so I am inside a lot for that. And sometimes it's the only time I get out all day. And it improves my mood so much. Every single time without fail. So that's true. And the better your mood is, the less of a hater you're going to be.
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how to stop being a hater
Write a gratitude list. This is always good to do. And I have not done that in a really long time. So maybe I'll do that later. Really dig in and just write down every single thing I'm grateful for. I think that is a really great practice. It's not always the most convenient. You can't do it all the time. I mean, you could. People have gratitude journals. They fill them out.
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how to stop being a hater
I think that they're helpful and effective, but not everyone works that way. Hang out with other positive people. Yes, that is so true. When other people are also haters with you, oh my God, there's, by the way, nothing more fun, but it's so toxic. It is really important to have people around you who are positive and Because they can hold you accountable.
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how to stop being a hater
They're not going to participate in it with you. They're not going to stoop to your level. In fact, the reason why I realized that I've been sort of a hater recently is because I was having a really tough day the other day. And one of my loved ones was like, you're kind of a hater. Like you've been kind of a hater recently. You hate everything. And you're judging everything.
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how to stop being a hater
And that's why you're miserable. And I was like, well, I don't know if that's why I'm miserable. I think it's, you know, a product of my misery in a way. But then by being a hater, I'm making myself more miserable. It's a hamster wheel. And it really brought it to my attention. And that particular person is a very positive person in my life.
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how to stop being a hater
And I was really grateful that they brought it up to me, even though at first I was like, fuck you. No, I didn't say that. But in my head, I was like, oh my God, that is so annoying. Shut the fuck up. But then I was like, that's me being a hater. They're actually right. Next, build your confidence. So true. As I mentioned earlier, the low self-esteem to hater pipeline, it's solid. It's solid.
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how to stop being a hater
I'm hateful towards others. But again, it's all in my head. So it's like, how bad is it really? It's horrible for me. It's horrible for me. And it's clear to me that I need to work on it and I need to fix it. And the good news is there have been times in my life where I've not been a hater, okay? It's not like this has been a chronic issue for me my entire life, right?
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how to stop being a hater
If your self-esteem is low, chances are you're also kind of a hater. Not always, not always, but there's a really strong connection there. It's tough. I'm constantly working on my self-esteem, trying to make sure that I am basing my self-esteem on the right things. And it's clear, because I'm in a phase of being a hater, that my self-esteem is not based on the right thing in my life.
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how to stop being a hater
And when I think about what am I basing my self-esteem on right now, if I close my eyes and try to think, I would say my self-esteem is based on, honestly, right now, I would say my work ethic and my productivity and my efficiency. Like I'm in a phase of like, come on, Emma, we need to fucking grind. Like you better be grinding, baby. Let's grind.
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Okay, you would think for someone who's so self-aware of their own morals and values that I would be pretty on it and pretty good about it. But I'm not. I'm not. And I'm constantly like picking up after myself in a way. I'm constantly finding shortcomings and areas where I'm not abiding by my morals and values. I'm not getting there. And I think that that's normal. And I think that that's human.
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how to stop being a hater
And that is not a good thing to base your self-esteem on. Especially for me. It's not good for anyone, but it's even worse for me because I am a perfectionist and not in like a humble brag sort of way in like a detrimental to my productivity and mental well-being way. Like it's toxic and it gets in the way of me getting shit done.
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how to stop being a hater
So when I'm basing my self-esteem on my work, basically, I'm doomed. I'm destined to be disappointed because I'm a perfectionist, which means nothing is ever perfect enough for me. I never feel like I'm doing enough. So if my self-esteem is being based on that, then I'm going to have low self-esteem and that's exactly what's happening right now. And so I need to figure that out.
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I need to focus my energy less inward and more outward, help people get more involved in community. I need to be doing that and I'm not doing it enough. Next, focus on things that you have to look forward to. I don't have a lot that I'm looking forward to right now, to be honest. And I've actually like clocked that recently.
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how to stop being a hater
And so it's very interesting that that's also on the list because that really resonates for me. I don't have anything I'm looking forward to. I don't know why that is. Perhaps I'm in like maybe a bit of a minor depressive episode where I'm just not really excited about stuff for whatever reason.
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how to stop being a hater
Perhaps I'm adjusting to growing up and the things that I used to look forward to, like going out on the weekends, going to music festivals, stuff like that doesn't really bring me the same sort of joy anymore. Or it's just not the same anymore because I don't drink alcohol anymore. Music festivals are exhausting.
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how to stop being a hater
Like, by the way, those aren't the only two things that I used to enjoy, but those are just two examples of things that I used to always look forward to. Like every year was like Coachella. Yeah. I can't wait. Or every weekend it was like, going out. I'm going to go out this weekend. I'm going to go to a bar. I can't wait.
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By the way, that was more of a recent thing that happened within the last few years. And then more recently, the excitement around it has sort of died out because I don't drink anymore. And so, yeah, I'm not really looking forward to anything recently. And it's kind of felt like I don't really know what I like to do right now. So I need to fucking figure out something to look forward to.
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how to stop being a hater
And last but not least, this WikiHow article tells me to pursue something that I love. I need to find some sort of meaning. And I think that that's true. I think maybe I'm lacking a bit of passion in my life for some reason. Perhaps it's burnout in all areas of life. Perhaps it's just being in a routine that's comfortable. But I do think that I need to pursue something that I love.
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how to stop being a hater
Maybe that's a little bit scary. Maybe that's a little bit daunting, but is ultimately meaningful. That was actually a pretty good article. WikiHow, I benefited from this, which is funny because this article has two and a half stars out of five. I thought it was fine. I thought it was great. I'm giving it five stars. I don't know why it did so badly. A bunch of fucking haters, I bet. Holy shit.
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how to stop being a hater
I've always particularly enjoyed gossip and enjoyed analyzing people and even perhaps enjoyed hating things. But there have been times in my life where I haven't been a full hater. I've been gentle and kind, even within the confines of my own mind. So I can do it again. However, it's never seemed to stick because here I am again, an internal hater.
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how to stop being a hater
Totally. A bunch of fucking haters. Wow. That is fucking poetic. That is fucking beautiful. The WikiHow article that was actually pretty good. And I think based like I I don't think anything that was said in this article was not true. Got bad reviews because a bunch of fucking haters read it and hated, hated the answer, hated the truth that they were being shown on the article.
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how to stop being a hater
And they just rated it low because they're a hater and they felt threatened by it. All right. Well, that was actually helpful. You know what? Maybe it isn't bad to Google your struggles sometimes. Maybe the internet is helpful. I was actually going to read some more articles, but I really do feel like that covered it. I had another one from verywellmind.com.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Let's see if that one has anything that wasn't mentioned before. Oh, you know what? It actually, it is making some interesting points. It says, some of the reasons why you may hate people, number one, history of being hurt, two, stress, very true. Number three, introverted personality. Four, social anxiety. Five, ideological differences. And six, low self-esteem.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
We already mentioned low self-esteem, but those other ones we didn't really touch on. And I think all of those are very true. History of being hurt. Yes. When I'm feeling betrayed by people in my life, it makes me be a hater. I just start to hate everyone because I don't feel like I can trust anyone.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
When I'm in a phase of my life where I'm stressed, a side effect of that is just having a bad mindset. which leads to being a hater, being introverted, or having social anxiety, you're going to hate everyone if they evoke negative emotions in you, which people might for no particular reason if you're introverted or have social anxiety, just because people can cause negative emotions for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And then, of course, ideological differences. Something that I think is very prevalent today where it can be very hard for people to be accepting of those who maybe have different ideas. And there's varying degrees of severity of that. This article talks about the consequences of hating people. I don't need to read anything about that. I'm experiencing that, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I'm experiencing the darkness that is that. And let's see. Okay, last but not least, some coping strategies from verywellmind.com. Avoid all or nothing thinking, ooh, that's a great one. That is a great one because I have a tendency to do that. Like, I like to just answer a question. You know what I'm saying? Do I hate this person or not? Do I like this person or not?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Was the action that that person did bad or not? And I'm a hypocrite because I'm always like, you know, saying that like we need to like nuance is so important, nuance is so important. But I myself will sometimes fall into a trap of all or nothing thinking, black and white thinking, one dimensional thinking. And that is just unfair to others and unfair to yourself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Avoiding all or nothing thinking is great advice. Avoid generalizing thinking. Oh, this is if your hatred is towards others on a specific group of people, like a certain race, region, or religion. I do not... experience that so we can move on. For me, that doesn't apply. Practice empathy. Absolutely. Absolutely. But in order to practice empathy, you have to have strength. You have to be strong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
In order to practice empathy, you have to have a solid sense of self-esteem. And so I think it is important to practice empathy. But the only way to get there is to fix your self-esteem first, which is something that we've talked about quite a bit today. Prioritize self-care. Absolutely. Absolutely. If you feel like you're taken care of, you can be so, you're just so much more light and flexible.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
So I've decided today that I'm going to go on the internet and I'm going to try to figure out how to stop being a hater. And I can almost guarantee that a lot of you need to do this with me, okay? Because... There's a lot of haters on the internet, except the difference with the haters on the internet is that they are not holding it in like me. Okay. I'm an internal hater. I'm holding it in.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Like when I feel good, like I'm taking care of myself. I'm exercising. I'm, you know, taking care of my skin. I'm eating well. Not only do I feel good, which puts me in a better mood, but also I feel taken care of. I'm not expecting things from other people because I'm taken care of. Like I'm all good. I'm not being hypercritical about what other people are doing because I feel solid in myself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I feel fulfilled. I feel complete. I don't know. There's something about it that's very helpful. So that's good advice. And last but not least, seek therapy. That's also good advice. Yeah, a therapist can definitely help you figure it out. Probably better than Google ever could. Anyway, okay, you know what? I'm already feeling like less of a hater. And I'm not just saying that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I actually do feel like, okay, this was all helpful. These were good reminders. And you know what? I'm not perfect. I still might talk shit a little bit here and there, but I'm on the road to recovery, okay? And you know, I think it's funny that I'm afraid of being hated on on the internet as a public figure because I myself in some ways am a hater. I relate to you, haters.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Those of you who don't like me, I get it because I probably feel that way about somebody too. But I, I am different than you because I'm fucking working on it and you're not. But you could be like me and you could work on it too. And that's what's beautiful. You know, if you hate me, I invite you to work on this with me. Let's stop being haters together.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Let's stop being miserable people together. Let's fucking love. Let's love again. Let's find love again. It's in our hearts. I know it is. Anyway. Okay, well, I guess together today we learned how to not be a hater. That's beautiful. I hope you all enjoyed it. And if you did... New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Let's hang out, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
You can stream Anything Goes anywhere you get podcasts. You can watch on Spotify and YouTube. You can follow on social media at Anything Goes. You can keep up with me on all platforms at Emma Chamberlain. And you can buy my coffee. or matcha at chamberlaincoffee.com or find us in store, Target, Sprouts, Whole Foods, and more.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And at Chamberlain Coffee on social media if you just want to look at beautiful images of coffee that were taken by a very talented photographer who makes the coffee just look absolutely delectable. If you want to see that on your feed every day, perhaps follow Chamberlain Coffee. Yeah, I think that's all I got. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And you know what? I don't hate you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I hate a lot of people and I'm a hater. I'm a fucking hater, but I do not hate you because you support me and you love me. And you know what? Occasionally you might turn on me and you might hate me, but I forgive you. I'm choosing to forgive you and I love you. And let's stick together. Okay, let's stick together. All right, I need to shut the fuck up. All right, I'll talk to you all later.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I love you all. I appreciate you all. And hopefully the next time I talk to you, I'm less of a hater because that would be an achievement, now wouldn't it? All right, bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
The people on the internet who are haters, unfortunately unleash it and using fake accounts that they've made and they just start leaving mean comments and there's no face attached and it's just absolutely genius what they do. Listen, I'm all about not self-diagnosing. If you think that there's something wrong with you, for fuck's sake, go to the doctor, okay? But this is not a disease. It is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Being a hater is sort of a disease. but it's not classified as a disease, okay? You're not learning about it at medical school. Therefore, I can Google it and not feel like I'm being irresponsible with my health. I think the first step would be to figure out how much of a hater I truly am, okay? I've already sort of described to you what me being a hater looks like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
It's mainly on the inside, you know, just judging everything, hating everything on the inside and occasionally letting it bleed out to my loved ones or friends, but... For the most part, it's on the inside. But I want to test how much of a hater I am. So I found some online quizzes and we're going to take them together to figure out how much of a hater I am. The first one is on BuzzFeed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Thank you, BuzzFeed.com. You have published a false article about me in the past. So I'm actually debating even saying your name. because that was really bad journalism, but all good. And now you're probably going to write another article about me because that's how this stuff works. All good. I can handle it because I am a hater, so I deserve to be hated on a little bit. No, I'm kidding. I don't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Let's take this BuzzFeed quiz. I used to love Buzzfeed quizzes. I would literally take them in class and it was so much fun. Okay, this quiz is called, if you're a true hater, then you'll have no problem getting 100% on this quiz. So let's see if I'm a true, true hater, okay? Question number one, your friend just graduated college and they literally won't shut up about it. What do you say?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I'm so proud of you. Way to go. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. Good job. Who did you copy off of? Or was it SparkNotes? And college is such a scam, but it will definitely look good on a resume. To be honest, I think I would say one of the two first ones. And I'm not just saying that because I'm like trying to common sense cheat through the quiz.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I do think I would genuinely say either I'm so proud of you. Way to go. Or I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. Good job. I'm going to say I'm so proud of you. Way to go. People's accomplishments... don't trigger me too bad. Or at least they might internally, but I would never let that out, ever. Okay, next.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Your friend hosts a dinner party, but cooking has never been one of their skills. They did put a lot of effort in though. What do you say? I'll definitely take some leftovers. My dog loves this kind of thing. Or have you ever thought about trying out for Nailed It? I don't even know what Nailed It is. Oh, I guess it's like a show where you like make food badly, perhaps.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I love how you weren't afraid to stop following the recipe and just do you. And last but not least, these scrambled eggs are actually to die. I think I would say these scrambled eggs are actually to die. Unless that's like sarcastic, but that's I would abbreviate to die for by saying to die. That's something I would say. I would never say anything mean.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I would say these scrambled eggs are actually to die. I really hope that that's what they mean by that. Not just like... some sort of sarcastic phrase. But yeah, listen, if somebody's bad at cooking, but they put a bunch of effort into it, I would never have the heart to say anything mean, okay? Next, your friend shows you some dog shit movie that they really love, but it just isn't you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
What would you say? Number one, I can honestly say I've never seen a movie like that before. Two, you would like this movie, LOL. Three, it was so fun. I loved it. And four, I really admire how you have no shame about the things that you like. I think I'd probably say, I can honestly say that I've never seen a movie like that before. It's a true statement, but it's neither positive nor negative.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
So that seems good. Next, your friend gets a job offer from a company you've wanted to work for for a long time. In your eyes, they've never been as dedicated as you are. What do you say? That's awesome that they're willing to take a risk on you. Or, I mean, literally anything would be better than your old job. Or, I really am happy for you. I'm sure you're going to be great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
And I'm not particularly angry at myself about it. I think it's to be expected. However, there are times when I sort of deviate from my morals and my values. And it becomes apparent, not because I checked up on it and was like, hey, you're not really... you're not really doing that. But instead it pops up for me because it causes me some sort of pain, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Or, I thought Fancy Job Inc. was kind of over, but so happy for you. I would say, I'm really happy for you. I'm sure you're going to be great. I'm not a fucking asshole. I mean, this quiz, I'm kind of like, does anyone say this stuff? I mean, I know people do because... I've gotten like some backhanded compliments before, like some backhanded shit said to me before.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
So I know that people say this, but I feel like it's very rare. Most people are not being a hater in real life like this. Okay, next question. Your friend buys a house and while that is impressive, it definitely looks like the before on an episode of Fixer Upper. What do you say? 15 miles from the grocery store, couldn't be me. Only three bedrooms, who needs an office, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Gorgeous, what a house. Or the lack of space will really let you focus on family time. I don't really think I would say any of that. I think I would honestly walk into the house and like find some sort of weird niche tile that they like don't even make anymore that I actually genuinely liked. And I'd be like, oh my God, I would do anything for this tile. They don't make it anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
You can't even find it. It was like strictly in the 80s. I freaking love it. Like, I don't know. I actually really appreciate all different types of homes. And like, I, yeah, I guess I would say gorgeous what a house. I'm not... OK, this me taking this quiz is fucking boring, you guys. How many more questions do I have?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Because I'm honestly feeling like this isn't I'm not learning anything about myself from this because I'm just answering nicely. All right. Let's finish the quiz, though. Your friend just bought a new car, but it's definitely not your style. What do you say? At the end of the day, you just need something to get you from point A to point B. Or it doesn't come in white. Or this car really suits you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Or I would have gotten the Mercedes. I would just say this car really suits you. Again, not an asshole. It doesn't come in white. What does that even mean? That makes no sense. Okay. Your messy friend just got engaged. You love them, but it's kind of unbelievable. You know so many other people with their shit way more together. What do you say? OMG, I'm genuinely so happy for you. That's cool.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
So how about those Lakers? I really hope this one works out better than the last one. Or it's such a great reminder that there really is someone out there for everyone. Of course, I'm going to say, oh my God, I'm so genuinely happy for you. This is just ridiculous. Okay, moving on. We only have like two or three more.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Your friend runs a marathon and while it's quite the feat, they are being like so obnoxious about it. That is really annoying. So what would I say? That's so great. You got the same time as my Nana. Or I've heard running is really hard on your body long term, but so happy for you. Or I'm legit so impressed by you. Or I didn't think we'd be waiting for you at the finish line for so long.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Honestly, saying that running is hard on your body is something I would say, to be honest. I'm not proud of it. I would never say it, though, after somebody had just run a marathon. I would say I'm legit so impressed by you because, again, I'm not an asshole. Your friend tells you that they just got cast in a reality TV show that starts filming in two weeks, but you'd be way better on TV.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
What do you say? Even if you go home first, it will be so fun. I love that the casting directors were willing to cast someone like you. Reality TV is so tired, but I hope that you make some money at least. You're definitely going to be America's favorite. I would definitely say you're definitely going to be America's favorite.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
There's a slight chance that I'd say, hey, even if you go home first, it will be so fun. But I would never say that in a backhanded way. Okay, moving on. Your friends just had a baby and it's kind of amazing to you that they, of all people, decided to become parents. What do you say? So happy for you too. You'll be great parents. So exciting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
But who even knows what kind of world she's going to grow up in if Earth is even still here. Oh my God. I would never, ever, ever fucking say that. That is absolutely one of the most cruel things I think you could ever say to a new parent. And that is very sad. So don't say that. Okay, or it's crazy how just anyone can become a parent, you know? Or, and it was like on purpose, it was amazing.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I would say, so happy for you too. You'll be great parents. That's obvious. And this is the last one. Your friend just went viral on TikTok for a video that is literally so cringe. What do you say? Okay, superstar, guess you're an influencer now. Or, I love how you're not afraid to make a fool of yourself. Or, I will never understand how social media works. That's crazy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
By not abiding by my morals and values, I have let something slip to a point where now I'm causing myself pain because at least half of my morals and values were created by me and to prevent pain, to prevent suffering. And so there's like a 50-50 chance when I drop the ball that it might cause pain. And recently I noticed that I had dropped the ball in the hater department, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Or, wow, the algorithm was really on your side on this one. I don't really like any of these responses. Okay, superstar, guess you're an influencer now. That feels... backhanded and kind of rude. I love how you're not afraid to make a fool out of yourself. That's also rude. I'll never understand how social media works. That's crazy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
Even if I didn't understand, I actually don't know how social media works. It's my job and I still don't quite get it. And while the algorithm was really on your side on this one, that's also kind of rude because it's saying like, the video that you made sucks. It's just for some reason the algorithm was pushing it. I'm not going to say any of that. I'm going to choose...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
I love how you're not afraid to make a fool out of yourself, actually. Because I feel like that's not, I feel like that's actually kind of nice. Like you don't give a fuck and that's badass. Like that's the way I would say it. So that's why I chose that. Because okay, superstar, guess you're an influencer now is something that I would absolutely never say.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
That is one of the most foul, like that just, that's foul. Anyway, okay, my results. It says I'm a 9% hater. That's just not true. But that's because all of these things were external. You probably have a hater moment every few months or so, but you're mostly just nice, even if that means you hold back the truth. That is true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
how to stop being a hater
but I am an internal hater, so I'm not feeling satisfied with that answer, and I'm gonna take one more online quiz to see if it gives me a more accurate answer that isn't just referring to external situations. I don't know, we'll see, okay? This is a random quiz I found on a website called ProProfs.com. Never heard of it, and I'm probably gonna get a virus from this website. Okay, let's begin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I am fully in the middle of an allergy attack right now. I sat down to record like 20 minutes ago and immediately started sneezing uncontrollably, sneezing over and over and over again. And after like 60 sneezes, I was like, I have to do something. So I took my allergy pill earlier than normal because I do have seasonal allergies.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I really want to date and I kind of low key am dating my ex-boyfriend's best friend. I'm scared of what other people might think. What do I do? You're not asking me like, how do I make this official? You know, whatever. You're asking me, what do I do? Because I'm afraid of what other people might think. Why are you afraid of what other people might think?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Why are we ever afraid of what other people might think? Well, I mean, it's a very normal human thing. But what I've noticed, at least in myself and my loved ones, is we tend to be self-conscious when we deep down are insecure about something or we know it's wrong or we know it's bad. You know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Like, I tend to be self-conscious about things that warrant, or not warrant, I shouldn't say warrant, but I don't think I'm irrationally self-conscious. And people would say, no, Emma, like, don't be self-conscious about that. Like, that's, it's totally fine. I think usually when I'm self-conscious about something, it's because... It's actually rational and valid.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
It's like, no, you know, that isn't ideal. That isn't great. Whatever. I don't know. So you're scared of what people might think because you deep down know that it feels wrong. It feels wrong to you. It goes against your moral compass. That is why you're worried about what other people might think.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
If you felt confident in the fact that dating this person was like the right thing to do in your life, if you could, you'd be putting it up on billboards, you know what I'm saying? Because you'd be so excited. You know that this isn't quite right. Something about it isn't sitting right with you, okay? And so now you're faced with a choice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Option number one is to find confidence in your choice because you love this boy. You truly want to be with him and you aren't doing anything terribly wrong and neither is he. Or you can honor your feelings of discomfort and moral hesitation and cut things off and just deal with the heartbreak and find someone else. you'll find someone else.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
But I think that that's sort of the choice that you have to make, you know? Next, somebody said, I have a weird 60-year-old math teacher that calls me baby. What do I do? Let's go ahead and talk to the school counselor about that one instead of asking a podcaster that didn't even finish high school and definitely didn't go to college. This is something to talk about with the school counselor.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I give you my unprofessional advice. And today's topic is how to face moral dilemmas. Okay. We're faced with them every day. We're faced with them every day. The moral dilemma is always a little different. It feels like, you know, we rarely get the same one twice. But every time, we're forced to find the best way forward. And it's not easy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
This is something to talk about with your therapist. This is not something to discuss with me. However, I'll still give you advice on what I would do if I was in this situation. I guess I'm not going to give you advice because I think the only advice that I can give in good faith is go talk to the administration at your school. Go talk to the school therapist. Go talk to the principal.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Go talk to somebody and say, this is a little bit weird. I don't think it's professional. It's making me a little bit uncomfortable. this teacher's a little bit eccentric, just wanted to put it on your radar and let you know. That is obviously the right thing to do. However, if I was in this situation, this is what I would do. And I'm not saying that this is right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I'm just saying that this is exactly what I would do. And again, I'm not saying it's right, okay? Because I think going to the principal or going to the school counselor or going to administration, that's obviously the right thing to do. However, knowing myself in high school would have handled things differently.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I feel like what I would have done is, because I was kind of, I wasn't like a troublemaker or anything, but I did sometimes have a little bit of an attitude for some reason. Yeah. But I also, like, I also don't want to demonize somebody or, like, if they genuinely are not meaning any harm, right? I don't want to get someone in trouble just because they're weird or, like, whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I'm not saying, it's not okay to be calling you baby, okay? That's weird, right? However, if this is some sort of, like, 60-year-old Italian man that's like, come on, baby, you know this. Like, if that's how he's saying baby, it's like, it's very clearly not... in a sexual, like it's not sexual. It's not inappropriate necessarily. Like it's, I mean, it's still, you know, it's not ideal, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You know, he probably shouldn't be calling you baby, but if it's in that way, like to me, it's not dangerous. It's not as dangerous, right? It's just maybe a bad practice. And so how I might've handled it when I was in high school is I'd be like after class or something, or like when he called me baby, I'd be like, You know, you're going to get in trouble one of these days.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You can't be calling people that. I would just check him on his shit in person. Is that the right way to handle it? No, you should go to administration. But that's probably what I would have done. I would have given him a chance in a way and been like, you can't say that. And he would have been like, what do you mean? I've been saying this for generations. I'm Italian. By the way, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I just think of like a really like warm Italian like grandfather vibe when I think of somebody like calling you baby in a way that's like not sexual and harmless. Like that's what I think of. And if that's the case, great, because that's not truly harmful. It's still not, you know, maybe OK, but it's not dangerous. Do you know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And so I would check him in person just because I think, too, like if that's the case and if you know, if you can be of help and be like, hey, we don't say that. Right. Let's not say that. Right. And here's why, you know, if we can do that, great. Again, at school, I still, I do think it's best to run it by the administration, but that's how I would have handled it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And then if he continued doing it and it was making me uncomfortable, still, I would say, you know what, enough's enough. And I'd go and I would have told administration. But I probably would have done the confronting myself first. But I don't think that works for everybody. And I don't think it has to. In a school environment, it is supposed to be one of the safest environments.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
So if someone's doing some weird shit, you got to report it. You got to report it. Okay, moving on. How to tell your roommate that you're moving in with your boyfriend next year. I don't want to put her in a bad spot, but I need to move forward with my life. I feel bad. Well, to start, there's absolutely nothing to feel bad about. You are doing nothing wrong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And that's why today, I am going to give you some unprofessional advice on how to face yours. So without further ado, let's begin. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Westin Hotels and Resorts. Westin Hotels is designed with your wellbeing in mind.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
There is nothing wrong about what you're doing. So stop feeling bad, okay? There's nothing more useless than feeling bad about something that we don't need to feel bad about. There are moments in life when we should feel bad. We did something wrong. We hurt somebody's feelings. This is not something to feel bad about. That doesn't mean it's not uncomfortable, though.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
This is a very uncomfortable situation. And it is a situation that will cause unfavorable feelings. Your roommate is going to be sad. You might be sad. You probably less so because you are excited about moving in with your boyfriend. You get to have cuddle time every night. How fun is that? No one's home, just you guys, so much fun. It's like playing house, so much fun. You're not that sad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Your roommate's gonna be sad, you know? Your roommate is going to be sad. And so, you know, to an extent, you can feel a level of like, oh, you know, I don't like making anyone feel sad. But at the same time, like, you're not doing anything wrong, so don't feel bad, don't feel guilty. Be aware of the fact that, yes, you know, it may cause some sadness in your roommate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And yes, it may cause some sadness for you. But ultimately, it's for the better. And it's a normal part of growing and moving through life. And I think... the best thing that you can do is have the conversation as soon as possible. Don't put it off till the last minute because then you actually have something to feel bad about.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
If you screw your roommate over because you don't tell them until the last minute that you're not going to live together next year, that's when you need to start feeling bad because that's not fair to them, right? So tell them immediately and be like, I'm so sorry. I've been talking to my boyfriend. We made this decision. I'm going to miss you so much. It's been such a joy. Like,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And then if you're still feeling bad and you really want to help out even more, offer to ask the leasing person in your building that you're moving into with your boyfriend if they have any open units. Offer to help your friend find a new roommate. Offer to help. make a plan on how you both can stay connected, whether it's like, why don't we live in the same building? That would be fun.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Or if that's not an option, maybe we live in the same neighborhood on the same block. You know, there's ways that you can lessen the blow and make it less of like a depressing thing that you're no longer roommates. Like I think... helping them in their process moving forward, making a plan on how to maintain the friendship, you know, potentially planning to even live kind of close together.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Like all of these things can lessen the blow for both of you and make it less sort of traumatic for both of you. I think there's something to be said for presenting bad news with good news. You know, a lot of us don't think to find a silver lining or to find a way to lessen the blow. We're like, oh God, we have bad news. We just have to present the bad news and that's it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You can get creative and find good news to pair with the bad news. And I try to do that whenever I can. If I'm going to somebody and telling them something that they're not going to want to hear, I'll pair it with something that actually they would want to hear. You know, like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
you know, I don't think we can be roommates next year, but there's an open unit in my building and maybe you could check it out this weekend. Like, do you see what I'm saying? There's different ways that you can put a positive spin on it. And I think by doing that, you'll lessen the blow and it won't be so bad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Next, somebody said, and I'm sorry that now I'm like, you can hear the allergy attack in my nose and in my throat, but let's just ignore that. Somebody said, I'm in college studying something that I'm good at, but I don't love it. How do I tell my parents? I'm scared that they'll be disappointed in me. Well, to start, you're the one who has to live this life, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
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anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You're the one who has to go to school every day, study this topic, do the homework, take the tests, and ultimately get the job that you're going to work for the rest of your life in, perhaps, potentially, if, you know, that's kind of what you're working towards right now. So that's, you know, you're the one who has to live this life, not your fucking parents.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You have to live this life for the rest of your life. And it's important to, you know, respect our parents' opinions and hear them out. But at the end of the day, it's your fucking life and you're an adult. And obviously we want to impress our parents. We want to please our parents. We want to make them proud. But it's not actually right of them to try to control our future. Like...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
they should be open-minded. And if they're not, they're in the wrong, in my opinion, okay? So in my opinion, your parents are in the wrong if they judge you for shifting directions, you know, changing your path and like, I think that that's wrong. I think that just because they're your parents doesn't mean that everything that they do is right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And them being disappointed in you because you want to take your life in a different direction to me is wrong. As long as you're not doing something that's self-destructive, I don't think that they can ultimately be disappointed in you. Like, I mean, I guess they can, but I don't know that it's fair to inflict that upon you. You know, they just, they have to get over it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
They have to either get over it or they have to put a strain on the relationship between you and them, which is so harmful and unnecessary. Unless you're doing something that's destructive to their lives or to your life, it is not good parenting for them to cut you off. You know what I'm saying?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
So find confidence in the fact that you're doing the right thing by maintaining control of your own life, living life for you and making this decision because it's what's going to be the most fulfilling for you because you're the one who has to live this goddamn life. You got to do it, okay? Not them. We love your parents, but you can be firm with your parents.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You can tell your parents that they're wrong. You can tell your parents that they're overstepping. You can tell your parents that what they want for your life is not what you want for your life. That is all okay. They were your authority for many years, but they're not anymore. You are now your own authority.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And part of that is taking responsibility for your decisions and also making decisions yourself. That is a part of being a functioning adult, making decisions based on your own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Breaking away from your parents, that is a part of being an adult. When you're a kid and you're living under their roof and they're paying your bills, you do kind of have to...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
do what they say. Now you don't. And to truly mature is to truly break free from your parents and their beliefs and their ideas about your life. And this is a great sign that you're questioning some of their beliefs and you're like, okay, this isn't right for me. And so this is a conversation that you need to have with your parents. Embrace yourself for disappointment.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
They might be disappointed, but find confidence and comfort in the I also think, like I mentioned earlier, it can be really helpful and it can really soften the blow to your parents to present a bit of good news with the bad news.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Okay, so if you know that this is gonna be bad news for your parents because they really wanted you to study this topic, they really wanted you to go into this field for your career, Find a way to present them with good news instead of just saying like, I'm dropping out. I'm not doing this major anymore. I'm going to do a different major. I'm going to major in something else.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I want to go on a different career path. And that's it. Instead of just saying that, say, I'm switching my major. I'm going on a different career path now. But you know what? I'm really excited because I'm going to major in this now. And I'm really excited because this is what I want my career path to be. And I actually just started talking to this company about an internship.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Before you present it to them, take some action in the step of where you want to go in your life so that you have something promising to present to them. You don't necessarily owe that to them, but I think it could lessen the blow and be very positive. It could potentially reframe it for them. And just remember that...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Whatever comes of that conversation is necessary for the sake of your quality of life and your well-being because this is your life, okay? Next, somebody said, my bestie is hanging out with a guy with a million red flags recently. Do I say something to her? Okay, as I mentioned earlier, I tend to be someone who believes in communication, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Like if I see something wrong, if something feels off, I just say it. As I mentioned earlier, it tends to be like a 50-50 split. Some people believe don't get involved in your friends or loved ones' romantic situations because it just always goes wrong. And other people are like, if I was in their shoes, I'd want to know if some shit was going awry, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And so, you know, I feel it's the right thing to do to communicate. For the most part, I tend to fall in that category, as I mentioned earlier. I tend to believe it's better to tell your friend because if I was in that situation, I would want to know. However, in this case, I'm a bit less sure, you know, like I can't safely say you should just tell him because red flags are
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
are technically subjective, right? Like a red flag to you might not be a red flag to me and vice versa. It depends, right? To some people, shyness and mysteriousness is a red flag. To other people, it's an exciting challenge. Like I'm gonna crack this person open and find out who they truly are. And I don't mind that. To some people, a red flag could be a certain type of sense of humor.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
But then to other people, it might be a green flag. Like, oh, my God, I think this person's so funny. Like red flags vary in severity. So it's harder to say. But I do think that there are some like objectively wrong red flags. Like we would all agree that these things are wrong. For example, cheating in some way, like not being loyal. Disrespect is obviously objectively wrong.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I found out my friend's boyfriend sent a naked picture of her to his group chat. Do I tell her? How do I tell her? She's so in love with him. This is really hard. It is a horrible feeling to know something about your friend that you know will hurt them, but that you know is wrong not to tell them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Lying is obviously objectively wrong. If you know that this guy is actively doing things that are objectively wrong to her, I think it's okay to gently bring up, right? And be like, hey, you can do whatever you want. And I know you really like this guy, but... I, as a friend, am watching him mistreat you and it really bothers me. I can't stand idly by.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I have to bring it up to you and tell you that you don't deserve this shit. You deserve somebody who treats you like a little princess. you deserve to be treated with love and respect because that's how you treat other people, assuming that your friend is a beautiful angel, although she might not be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
But if the red flags are a bit less obvious, they're a bit less intense, they're a bit less glaringly obvious, I would say a lot of times it's better for people to find out for themselves that someone isn't right for them Because usually that's what they're going to do anyway. Like you can bring shit up to them, but they're just going to end up figuring it out on their own anyway.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
They're not going to listen to you. Because in the case of like love and romance and lust, good luck. It's so tough. Like it's really hard to break through and be heard. Like even when somebody's treating you wrong, like I remember in the past, I've been dating guys who have maybe sort of not treated me the best. And people have told me like, Hey, I don't like that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I don't like the way that they treat you. I saw the way that they said that to you. I saw the way that they handled the situation. I heard that story about what they said to you, whatever. And that doesn't sit right with me. And guess what I said? No, no, but I love them. And this was just like an off day for them. And I made excuses.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
So it's like, and it actually, if anything, made me resent them in the moment. Now, in retrospect, I'm like, you were totally right, but I had to figure it out on my own. I had to touch the stove long enough and get burned bad enough to learn that I shouldn't touch the stove. Sometimes you have to, you know, play in the knife drawer to realize that playing in the knife drawer is a bad idea.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And that you shouldn't do it again. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's how we grow. That's how we learn through experience. A lot of us struggle with like, a lot of us, like hear advice, and we're like, okay, and we end up making the mistake anyway, we don't follow the advice. But the advice sticks with us. And it's not all bad, right? It makes us aware of, you know, huh?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Although it's starting to feel like they're not seasonal and they're just year round allergies. Yeah, they're not specific to one season anymore. When I was a kid, I used to get them like during the spring because there's all this pollen. Now I just constantly have really, really severe pollen allergies. Anyways, and so I took my allergy pill. I normally take it in the afternoon, not today.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
okay, I'm going to pay attention to like, maybe they are right, but I don't care because I'm going to do what I'm going to do anyway. But then later it only further sort of solidifies like, oh shit, I don't want to do that again. I got that advice. I should have followed it. I didn't. I learned the hard way. Now I'm here. Now I know even more certainly that I should never do that again.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And so I don't know. I think you can maybe subtly give some advice or even ask like Socratic. Is it a Socratic question? Yes, it is a Socratic question. You know, you can ask your friend sort of Socratic questions, which if you don't know what a Socratic question is... Socratic questioning is a method of asking and answering questions to explore ideas and debate logical responses.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
It's a collaborative process that involves asking open ended questions to encourage people to think critically. So instead of like saying, hey, I don't really think it's good how that person is treating you. Instead, you say, how does it make you feel when that person does this to you? And you let them answer and you let them come to the conclusion. You know where I learned this from?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
My dad, because this is what my dad does to me. Instead of like, my mom will tell me like, sorry, like that is fucked up. Like, I don't like the way that that person treats you or whatever. oh, I don't like that. I don't like your hair like that or like whatever. My mom will just tell me. My dad, on the other hand, will be like, how do you feel about your new haircut?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Or how do you feel when that person talks to you that way? Or how are you doing with that person? And then I'll answer and be like, Well, I don't really like my haircut. It's not great. I've been feeling kind of self-conscious about it. Or, you know, I don't know. When that person talks to me like that, it makes me feel small and it makes me feel disrespected and I really don't like it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Or whatever. And then from there, he'll be like, well, what kind of haircut are you going to get next? What do you think would look better? Or, well, what are you going to do about that? How are you going to handle that situation with that person? And then I end up finding the solution myself. And that is far more empowering and far more helpful than just being told what to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I've noticed in life, people tend to have two complete opposite perspectives when it comes to telling your friend about their romantic relationship. Some people are like, don't ever get involved. The golden rule is just don't get involved. And then some people are like, no, you have to get involved. If you know something, you have to tell your friend. That is being a good friend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Because number one, it's less personal. You know, it's not like we all need to handle situations differently, right? Because we're all very different. So there are moments when somebody will tell you like, This is how you need to handle the situation. And that's what worked for them. But what would work for you is actually a bit different. And only you can figure that out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Through Socratic questioning, you can actually figure that out quicker because you're being asked and you're being forced to answer. And through the answering, you're figuring that out yourself. So you're, you know... Ow. Sorry. I was being very expressive with my hands and talking with my hands. And then my cat bit my little finger because he thought it was a little sausage.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
It's not a little sausage. It's my finger. It's my finger. Let's not bite anymore. Okay. We don't play like that. We play nice. Anyway. That's the last one. That's it for today's advice session. I had a lot of fun, as always. I was on the verge of a sneeze the entire episode. The second I stop recording, I'm just gonna sneeze for the next hour. But I had a lot of fun and I hope you did too.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And if you did, tune in to Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Episodes are available anywhere you stream podcasts and video episodes so you can watch me and hang out with me with your eyes. Video episodes are available on Spotify and on YouTube, so check it out. And anything goes is on social media at anything goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is on the internet at chamberlaincoffee.com and at chamberlaincoffee on social media. And we are also in person at some grocery stores near you. We're talking Whole Foods. We're talking Target. We're talking Sprouts. We're talking Albertsons. See if we're in a store near you on the store locator. uh, online chamberlaincoffee.com.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And that's all I have for today. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. It's always a joy. It's always a pleasure. I, I also have to pee really bad. Like I had to sneeze this entire episode. I also had to pee, you know, for the second half. Like I just need to sit on the toilet and fucking put my little legs up on the squatty potty.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I just need to blow my nose and I need to just sit there and see what happens. And, Yes, I do put my feet up on the squatty potty even when I'm peeing. I just love the squatty potty. I love the way it feels. Anyway, that's it for today. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. It's always a pleasure. I love you all. I appreciate you all.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I can't wait to talk to you very soon in a few days here on Anything Goes, the podcast. Okay, love you all. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I just noticed throughout my life, it seems to be like a 50-50 split. I tend to fall on the side of to be a good friend is to tell them. That's where I tend to fall, I'd say, 90% of the time. And I would say in this specific scenario, I think you need to tell your friend because... Here's the deal. There's a really high chance that your friend doesn't want her nude in the group chat.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Listen, is there a chance that your friend doesn't mind and is like, hey, I'm proud of this nude. Show all your fucking friends. I don't give a fuck. You know, some people are like that. In fact, if I took a really good nude, I would tell my boyfriend to show his friends. I'd be like, fuck yeah, it looks really good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Unfortunately, I don't take nudes because I'm too afraid of having them on my phone. And... Uh, something about it just has always felt kind of ingenuine to me, like inauthentic to me as a person. I've never been somebody who really takes nudes, but, but I think if you were to put yourself in your friend's shoes in this scenario, I would assume that you would also wanna know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And that's a good test. Like, should I tell my friend about this, should I not? Put yourself in your friend's shoes. If you were them, would you wanna know? Of course you would. We always wanna know what's going on. If something's happening behind our back, we wanna know. And there's a really, really high chance that this is happening behind your friend's back.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
She's unaware of it, and this isn't okay with her. This wouldn't be okay with her, right? You gotta tell her. But I do think it's important to tell her in the right way, okay? This is a very sensitive situation. It sounds like your friend really loves this boy. You know, you want to handle this tactfully. You want to communicate it tactfully. And there are some ways to do it wrong, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You don't want to tell her in front of anyone else, okay? That would be bad, right? You want to tell her in private. That's number one. Number two, you want to communicate it gently. And you want to communicate it... Honestly, right? Like you don't want to make light of it. You don't want to make a joke of it. But you also don't want to make it a bigger deal than it needs to be.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You want to present this information to her in a way that is gentle and calming. Because she might freak out, right? Let her be the one who dictates the energy of the conversation, okay? Don't come in and be like, oh my God, I'm so sorry I found this out. Oh my God. Be like, hey, you know... I'm going to be honest. I found out about something.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And if I were you, I would really want to know about it. And there's a chance that you don't mind or that, you know, you guys have talked about this and this is totally fine or whatever. But I have to tell you because it would feel wrong if I didn't. Your boyfriend sent your nude into the group chat. I found out about it and I just had to tell you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And I'm sorry if this is something that upsets you, but I really... felt like it was my duty as a friend to let you know. That's all you have to say. Do it in private. Say it gently. Say it really calm and rational like I just did. And then you go from there. And then you just be a supportive friend from there. I really do think, because this is something that is...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
usually wrong, like that's kind of an objectively wrong thing to do. Like I think 99.9% of people would look at that and say, that's not right. And when that's the case, I think you can safely tell your friend about it and not worry about overstepping. If it's like an objectively bad thing to do. I think it is generally considered wrong to share someone's nudes with
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Needed to pop it early, so I popped it early. And then my ears started itching and burning. So I went and got some cortisone cream and put that in my ears with a Q-tip. Life hack if your ears are itchy from having allergies. By the way, one of the worst feelings in the world, having itchy inner ears. Oh my God. And it happens to me all the time.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
when they shared those nudes with you in confidence in private, right? So I would say, tell your friend. Okay, next somebody said, I hate my job. I don't agree with the ethics of the company, but I desperately need the money. I feel like I'm betraying myself. What do I do? Well, to start, I would say, you're not betraying yourself. You're doing what you have to do. This is how life works.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
We have to work. And sometimes we have to work somewhere that we don't want to work for survival. So don't feel bad. Don't feel guilty. Don't feel betrayed by yourself. Reframe the situation that you're in right now. You know your morals and your values. It's clear that you're connected to what they are. That's an incredible thing, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
The fact that you are aware of the fact that your job goes against your morals and values only confirms your morals and values, right? And that's a beautiful thing, I think. Your job doesn't reflect those morals and values. Your feeling about the job does. So find confidence in the fact that you know how you feel about this job. You know what I'm saying? You aren't the problem.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You're not doing anything wrong. You're just showing up to work because right now this is your job and that's totally okay. You are not the CEO of the company. You are not the founder of the company. You are not responsible for what this company does. This is not your weight to bear. So let that go.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And also understand that this is just a stepping stone in your life, getting you to the next step in your career. This is not your career. This is a stepping stone in your career. Every single person on this planet, I think probably at some point in their lives, work a job that in some way goes against their morals or values.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Or they work a job that they look back on later and they're like, oh God, that was so bad for my spirit. This is a common part of the career journey. I look back at my career and I have moments like that where maybe I did something that ended up not being right. Maybe went against my morals or whatever. We've all done it. We've all done it. Good luck finding somebody who hasn't.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I think this is a common challenge. I think... What is valid and true though is like working a job that goes against your morals and values is bad for your spirit, right? It's bad for... That was really spiritual. It's bad for your spirit, the fuck? I sound like a psychic or something. It's really bad for your spirit, baby. Let me pull another tarot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And then I pull another one and then... Anyways... Yeah, it just it doesn't make you feel good. So I think to sort of put power back into your hands and to sort of, I don't know, feeling control of the situation, I think just start dedicating a little bit more of your energy to figuring out your next step.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And sometimes it's so excruciating that I have to make a horrible sound like this. I'll do it for you right now. Are you ready? I have to snort like that because it, for some reason, itches the inner ear and you can't get your finger in there to itch. So like you have to snort. and vibrate your inner ear through the snorting to itch it, it's a catastrophe.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You know, a current maybe unfavorable situation feels a lot less horrible when you're working towards moving on from it. So I would say focus as much energy as you can right now to figuring out your next step, figuring out how you can leave this job. And it's not going to happen overnight, and that's okay. But just working towards it, I think, is...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
enough to sort of, I don't know, again, I hate to talk about the spirit again. I mean, we're really getting into the spirit, but it will be good for your spirit and your soul to be working on the next step in your career that has nothing to do with this job that sort of goes against your morals and values.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Next, somebody said, I really want to date, kind of low-key am dating, my ex-boyfriend's best friend. Oh, wow. I'm scared of what other people might think. What do I do? Well, to start, I kind of think that vibe is hot. It is a little messy, but there's something about it that I have fantasized about before. I'm not going to lie.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
After breaking up with every boyfriend I've ever dated, afterwards, I've fantasized about dating their friends. because of how like satisfying you'd be and how angry you would make them. And it's totally petty and it's totally messy, but I've always fantasized about it and you're living my fantasy. So good for you. However, it is a bit complicated, right? It is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
Listen, even though you might be living my dream, this is still a really complicated situation. I am sort of perplexed by the fact that, like, how are you dating your ex-boyfriend's best friend right now? They can't be best friends. If they were truly best friends, this would not be happening. So something is going on with the friendship and it's not good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
That friendship, like I think I need to be giving advice to the two boys in that friendship. Not you. Because their friendship sounds a bit corrupt. I think everyone knows that it's not great to date your best friend's ex. To date your acquaintance's ex. To date your friend that you hang out with once a year's ex. It's still a bit messy, but I don't know. It's like whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
It's obviously not ideal. It's a bit uncomfortable. But there's only so many options of who we can date in our... local community, and sometimes things become a bit, I almost used the word incestual, but we do not want to use that word. And that's not even what I mean. Yeah, sometimes you end up sharing. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes you end up swapping. It just happens.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
But best friends, that's not your fault. I don't think you're really doing anything wrong. Once you break up with somebody, you kind of don't owe them anything anymore, you know? And if you end up falling in love with their best friend, it's not, in my opinion, your job to say, well, you know what? That's morally wrong. I'm not, you know, this was my ex-boyfriend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You don't really owe anything to your ex-boyfriend anymore. It's up to the best friend of your ex to, to do the right thing in their eyes, right? I really don't think it's your job to handle that situation. However, if I were you, I would sort of see it as a red flag that the guy that you're dating now is best friends with your ex and he's dating you anyway.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
He's not very loyal to your ex, his best friend. You know, that's kind of a red flag to me. It's a sign of his loyalty. And I don't love that. So that's definitely something to keep in mind. However... Maybe you two are soulmates. And like, for whatever reason, the universe put your ex and his best friend into your life as the middleman to bring you together. Like, who am I to say? Right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
So yeah, I just kind of got over a little allergy attack, but I still feel it. My ears are still itchy. My nose is still itchy. I'm on the verge of a sneeze. It is just a mess, okay? But the show must go on and it will. So with that being said, welcome back to Advice Session. a series here on Anything Goes, where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
I think a lot of this depends on how serious these relationships are. You know, how deep is his friendship with your ex? How deep was your relationship with your ex? Right? How deep is your relationship between the two of you? Like, how serious are all of these relationships? Because depending on the severity of each relationship, you know, the morality of the situation sort of changes, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
If you two are soulmates, and both of your relationships with your ex and his best friend were not that deep and not that serious or potentially even like deeply flawed or something like that, then it's not that wrong to me. I'm like, that's fine. But if you had a beautiful, beautiful relationship with your ex and like you're still friends and it's like this beautiful thing,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
And, you know, you truly like loved each other and you want to remain friends after and all this. And like the guy that you're dating now, you know, they've been best friends since they were two years old and they've helped each other through life and they had this deep friendship. Then it's like, oh, this is really messy and not great.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
facing moral dilemmas, advice session [video]
You know, like, I can't safely say that what's happening is necessarily morally right and good. But at the same time, like, it's not really your job, though, to manage their friendship, right? And you don't owe anything to your ex. So let's focus on that perspective. Ask yourself why you're scared of what people might think, because that's what you said. You said,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
These are some of the first words that I've spoken today. Like, I haven't really talked yet today. And you can hear it. Okay, my vocal cords sound shriveled up. And they are. But luckily for me, there's something kind of sexy about it. Like, I kind of have morning voice right now. Like, it's a little raspy. Good morning, baby. Good morning. You know what I mean?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
It's clear to me that you need to check in with your self-esteem and you need to check in with your romantic standards, okay? Because your self-esteem is low and your romantic standards are too low, okay? That's how you got here. That's how you keep getting here, right? First, I think you should check on your self-esteem.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Okay, which by the way, we should all be doing frequently because similar to our standards, our self-esteem is all over the place. Okay, it's constantly fluctuating. Again, sometimes it's too high. More often, it's too low. And when we're lucky, it falls somewhere in between, right? Goldilocks self-esteem. Holy shit, there I go again. Oh my God.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
another fricking little term that I came up with, another Nobel Peace Prize, lucky me. We should all constantly be checking in on our self-esteem. When your self-esteem is low, you're less critical of your romantic situations, okay? The feeling of reassurance that romance gives you allows you to participate in things that you wouldn't otherwise.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
When your self-esteem is low, somebody being attracted to you feels 50 times better. You're like, oh my God, thank God. Just thank God that somebody likes me. And so I think the first step is to really try to rebuild your self-esteem. And my piece of advice is always to make sure that your self-esteem is being based on the right part of your character.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
It's very challenging to, to keep that in check, but it's crucial. You don't want your self-esteem to be based on your appearance or your
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
your success or your romantic prospects okay you want your self-esteem to be based on your character why because that is the most consistent and fulfilling part of you that it can be based on it's also a part of you that you have control over you have control over your character and You don't have control over your appearance. I mean, to an extent you do, but not 100%.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You don't always have control over your success. A lot of that's out of your control. You don't always have control over your romantic prospects. There are just times when no one around clicks with you. These are all things that are not only surface level, but also... constantly in flux. And so relying on them for your self-esteem is not good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
The only thing that you have control over that you can always take action and work on and improve on is your character, who you are as a person. what you do for others, how you treat others, your overall impact on the world, big or small. And that's actually really what builds good self-esteem is that. So check in on that self-esteem, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Because when your self-esteem is in check, your standards that are too low are gonna start slowly but surely rising. But I also think it's important to specifically hone in on your romantic standards. It's clear that your standards for romance are way too low for your own well-being. You want something real, but you're allowing in situations that are not real. Why?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I constantly have to check up on them because they do have a tendency to go awry. And for me, when my standards become imbalanced, it tends to look a little something like this, okay? My standards for myself, way too high. impossible to achieve. And I'm left feeling disappointed and bad about myself because I could literally win a Nobel Peace Prize and that would still not be enough for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Because your desires and your standards aren't aligned, okay? You're not paying close attention enough to this disconnect to fix it. I think it's important to make a set of rules for yourself when you're dealing with this sort of challenge. So a set of rules for yourself could look a little something like this. Number one, I'm not going to hook up with somebody again until I date them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Yeah, it might be challenging. Yeah, it might take a little bit of discipline, but I know that this will help me get back on track. Number two, I won't date somebody unless they meet this criteria and you can list things out. Good listener, outgoing, polite, gets along with my family. Make your own list, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Number three, I'm not going to participate in anything romantic with anybody for the next six months. I'm only going to try to make friends. Thus, giving myself the time to rebuild my self-esteem. Like there's all these different rules that you can come up with for yourself. But I think it's important to, I don't know, have some sort of set of rules to abide by so that
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You're not just kind of, I don't know, floating through life and just allowing yourself to get into situations that you don't even want to be in. And I think that that can be really helpful. And I think it's particularly important to avoid situationships moving forward because when you're in a situationship, you don't have the availability to find something real.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Every time you're in a situation ship, you're getting in the way of finding something real because the energy that you're putting towards the situation ship now cannot go towards finding something real. So you're in a lot of ways like spiritually, emotionally unavailable, you know, until you let the situation ships go, you will not find something real.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
So it's very important to set sort of rules for yourself and not allow yourself to fall back into it because otherwise you won't find something real. And I also think moving forward, it's important to communicate with your partners early on. You know, you go on a few dates, things start maybe getting sort of romantic and you're like, I hate to do this, but what the fuck's going on?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And what do you want from this? Because I really don't want to. I need to know. And it's cringe and it's uncomfortable and it's hard. But it's what you got to do sometimes. Somebody said, I lost respect for a guy that I'm talking to because he has mentioned other girls looks in front of me. Is that unfair? It makes me feel bad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
In my opinion and experience, if someone's actions negatively impact your perception of them, that's unfortunately out of your control. A lot of our judgments, gut reactions, immediate feelings are out of our control. We can't necessarily... can change our thoughts. Our thoughts just sort of happen, but we can control how we respond to them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I say that because I think it's important not to feel bad for the thoughts that we have. So, you know, let go that feeling of guilt. I don't think that that's necessary. In fact, I think our sort of tendency to observe people and judge people and, you know, our intuition and our gut tell us things to protect ourselves, right? Like that's actually in a lot of ways a superpower that we have.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Does it misfire sometimes? Absolutely. But I think you should shift your feelings of guilt towards feelings of gratitude that your brain and body is having these reactions to protect you. It's for you, you know? It's a mechanism that we have to keep us safe. So I think you're all good there, right? There's no need to feel guilt. However, this is a guy that you're talking to.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Sounds like you're not dating him yet, but you know, when you're talking to somebody, it's because you might potentially date them. So to deeply analyze them is not a terrible idea at all. I think you should ask yourself why it bothers you. Now, I don't know what he said about another girl. Like, he could have said, her ass looks incredible in those pants. I don't think that that's good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I think that's in bad taste. He could have also said, oh, wow, like, that girl's hair just looks beautiful. Maybe, you know, she had like a beautiful... a beautiful blowout or something, or perhaps she just had beautiful hair. Who knows? You know, he could have said, wow, her outfit is really cool. You know, I don't know what he said. Right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
When my standards for myself are too high, I'm destined for failure. On the other hand, my standards for other people are on the floor. OK, people can walk all over me. They can say mean shit all they want.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And there's varying degrees of sort of severity, I think. Like, like if he said something romantic or, you know, somewhat sexual in nature about another woman, like, oh, wow. Like, yeah, she's hot. don't love that. I don't love that. I think it's in bad taste and it's disrespectful. I don't think it's nice.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
OK, but saying like, oh, wow, like I really love that girl's outfit or wow, her hair is very beautiful or something less sort of romantic, sexual in nature. See, I think that that's fine. However, that might be a boundary where you're like, Don't look at any other woman. Okay, sure. You know what I mean? I think it's important to ask yourself why it bothers you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Does it bother you because it's genuinely disrespectful? He said something romantic and sexual in nature about another woman. That's a little weird. That's a little bit disrespectful. Fair enough. Or did he say something actually just kind of nice about another girl and you're a little bit jealous? Not necessarily because you even need to be jealous. Not because...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
he said anything that should truly threaten you, but because you maybe are struggling with your self-esteem a bit. And that's sort of the problem. And it's really hard to be honest with yourself about this. Like I've had moments in my romantic relationships where something has rubbed me the wrong way.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You know, like something that a boyfriend has said to me has like kind of pissed me off or like, you know, rubbed me the wrong way. And I've thought about it. And when I really think about it, it's like, I don't think that they're being disrespectful to me. I think I'm insecure. And I think that the girl that he complimented or gave a little bit of attention to somehow taps into my insecurities.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Maybe, you know, she has something that I don't. Maybe she has, you know, like really cool style, like cooler style than I think I have. Maybe, you know, she's just supernaturally beautiful in a way that I don't think I am, you know, like who knows what it is, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But like, it's important to ask yourself that because the last thing you want to do is start an argument with your significant other over...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I don't care because my self-esteem is so low from having unrealistically high standards for myself that I don't care how people treat me because I don't feel like I deserve to be treated well because I ultimately hate myself. So that's what tends to happen to me when my standards are imbalanced. But everybody's different. You know, you might have a similar situation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
something unfair you know and then you end up in a worse position where now you're in a fight and your partner feels confused because they're like i didn't do anything wrong why are you mad at me and it's a mess it's much better to be like fuck that bothered me reflect on it be like i kind of took it too personally clearly i have some insecurity issues and then to go and handle your self-esteem from there you know i already mentioned sort of what to do when your self-esteem is low it's clear that you're holding your self-esteem in your romantic relationship
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
in how you're perceived by your partner uh you are putting too much weight on it on that right and that's not good but also there's a chance that this guy truly said something that is not cool and it genuinely bothers you and that's valid as well but you know you can only come to that conclusion once truly asking yourself if you are upset for the right reason you know
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Next, somebody said, I'm thinking of going back to my toxic friend group because I'm just way too lonely. Is that terrible? It is terrible. Do not do it. OK, but also don't be mad at yourself for feeling this way. It is so normal to feel this way. A lot of times when we shed people in our lives that are bad for us, following that is a period of loneliness.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Because a lot of times toxic people isolate us from other people. And it can be hard to rebuild friendships and relationships outside of the toxic relationships because toxic relationships tend to be isolating. That's not always the case, but more often than not, it is. So it sucks. And even if The relationships weren't particularly isolating.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
It's normal to miss people that we were once close to. Even if they're toxic, it's normal to miss them. So all of the things that you're feeling are normal. They're not terrible. But what would be terrible would be to go back. Why? Well, number one... Obviously, because they were terrible. You left them for a reason. Their impact on your life is not good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But number two, this is such an incredible opportunity for growth. Okay. These are the moments in life when you grow, when you're faced with the option of going back to your old ways or emerging from the challenge, a new version of yourself. These are the freaking moments. OK, these are the moments where you truly grow the most.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And until I realized that and truly felt and experienced the truth of that, it was really hard for me to not revert back to my old ways whenever I felt tempted to. Right. Like if I would end a relationship with a guy that wasn't good for me. Or break a bad habit that was like really comforting for me, but was ultimately bad for me. Or, you know, leave a bad friend group, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Like until I did that, overcame it and came out the other side, a happier stronger person it was really hard to motivate myself to do so but now I know I'm like every time I'm faced with this sort of dilemma like I can go back to my old ways because it's more comfortable and it'll feel better right now or I could push through a little bit longer and grow And then I'm better off forever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I'm better off for the rest of my life. You know, like either it's instant gratification or delayed gratification. It's the choice between the two. And almost always delayed gratification is better, right? There are some times when instant gratification is good, right? Like eating a chocolate croissant. That is instant gratification. That feels really good and it tastes really good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Eating a balanced breakfast with protein and fiber and healthy fats and all this. That's maybe somewhat gratifying in the moment, but it is in a way delayed gratification because those are things that look really good on your blood panel when you get your blood work done. Right. But at the same time, we need to eat the chocolate croissant. We need that sometimes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Your standards for yourself and others might be too high. Your standards for yourself and others might be too low. Your standards for yourself might be low, but for others are high. Everyone's different, right? But we all have in common the struggle to find the balance. And so that's what we're going to be discussing today. And that's what I'm going to be giving you advice on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And we should not, you know, OK, I don't know why I brought food into this. That's like a whole other. Oh, God, let's not even go there. Let's not go there. Oh, my God. Sorry. I hit my cat a little bit. Let's not go there. Yeah. Yeah. But you get the idea, right? Like instant gratification is not always bad. And I think that there are moments in our life when we deserve it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But I think instant gratification is a bit naughty and we should, you know, limit it. And I think we should always be striving for delayed gratification because it does benefit us in more ways than I think instant gratification does. Growing through this type of challenge changes you as a person forever. Going back to your old ways completely stops your growth in its tracks, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You're not growing from that. You're going backwards. Now, is it okay to go backwards sometimes? Of course. We all do it, okay? We all go back to the shitty ex. We all go back to the shitty friend group. We all go back to our shitty old habits. It happens sometimes. OK, sometimes you have to go back a few times before you can break the cycle and grow. I've done it. We've all done it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
OK, but remember in these moments that by getting through it, you are truly like accomplishing something that you will actually be able to benefit from. You will win like you will feel good. You're going to feel better if you wait and you push through. And, you know, that's helpful to say, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And that, you know, gives you a bit of hope and maybe a bit of motivation, but it doesn't get the job done. So in the meantime, focus the energy away from your old friend group and put it towards being social with new people, okay? Start going to a new coffee shop. Start chatting it up a little bit every once in a while with the baristas, okay? Maybe that's your new friend.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I always use the coffee shop example, but that's because I have a love for that environment, okay? you know, get a new gym membership. Start chatting it up with people next to you on the treadmill. Start chatting it up with people next to you on the weight machine, you know, here and there. Maybe make a friend at the gym. Start taking pottery classes if you want to take pottery classes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Start going for walks in your local park and start saying hi to the locals. Like, Put your energy towards putting you into environments where you could perhaps make a friend. Is there a chance that you might not? Absolutely. There's a lot of people that go to the park, they go to the gym, they go to the coffee shop and don't want to talk to you. In fact, I'm one of those people.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I was actually thinking about this the other day. Like I go to my hot yoga class and every once in a while I'll briefly like for 30 seconds max chat with someone. Because I go there a lot and I see the same people every day and I whatever. But one of my favorite parts about going to hot yoga is that I actually don't talk to anyone. I'm around people. I feel people's presence.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I don't feel alone, but I'm not talking to these people. And that's my favorite part about it is that I feel the warmth and the comfort of being around a bunch of people. But I also get to weirdly recharge at the same time. And so I don't know. I love that about it. And that might also be something that helps you, right? You might feel a bit lonely and maybe like, I just, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I'm not sure what I'm looking for in a friend, kind of aimless. In the meantime, maybe you just spend time in these environments where other people are hanging out at and you don't even talk to people. You just enjoy the feeling of being around people without being friends. Sometimes that's delightful as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But be patient because it will all be okay and you'll be happy that you stood your ground and you did not go back to that toxic friend group. Okay, moving on. Somebody said, I can't tell if I feel the spark with this new guy I'm talking to, but he's a really good guy. Really with a lot of L's and a lot of Y's. Okay, really good guy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Even though, as I just said, I do not have it all figured out. OK, I find myself in a period where my standards are imbalanced every few years. I will say, though, right now I'm in a pretty good place. I would say my standards are pretty balanced. Like, I definitely expect a lot of myself, maybe a little bit too much.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I'm trying to shift my standards for who I date and he seems like he fits the bill with how he treats me and the kindness he displays. But how do I know if I'm actually attracted to him or if he's just a great guy, but not my great guy? When should I give up? Well, there's a chance that you might be like me and your standards for men in the past were quite low.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Now, this is not me insulting the men that I dated, right? It's not. It's insulting myself, actually. My standards were very low. OK, how could I expect the guys that I dated in the past to live up to standards that I didn't even share with them? They weren't even aware of. But also my standards were not only just low in the past, but they were also toxic. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
My standards for men used to be, I only want to date a guy that barely likes me. I want to have to win over this guy. I like guys that are incredibly hard to get, borderline impossible, because the feeling of getting them is so intense, is so exciting, is so explosive that it boosts my self-esteem in a way that nothing else does.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
OK, so not only did I have low standards for like how I was treated, but my standards were also toxic. OK, I wanted to date a guy that was so hard to get that by the time I got them, it felt like I had run six marathons in a row. Like it was the exhaustion, but then the satisfaction. It's drug like. OK, and that's what I used to look for.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And when your standards are low and toxic, it's really hard for you to date somebody who's good for you. Why? Because someone who likes you, who shows you affection, who is genuinely interested in you, who reciprocates effort and attention are not a challenge. There's nothing to conquer.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And so the feeling of receiving those wonderful things, attention, affection, romantic interest, pales in comparison to receiving those incredible things from somebody who doesn't really like you, who's hard to get, who's not fully in it. It pales in comparison. And that is so toxic, okay? It's so toxic because it's not that it's not true, right? Like it is true.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
OK, I've experienced both in my life. OK, affection, romantic attention, all of this from guys that do not like me literally or they like me, but like they don't show it a lot. I'm constantly questioning it and they're in and out. You know, they're in and out emotionally. I've experienced that and the excitement that that is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And I've experienced a healthy situation where the feelings are just mutual or not even mutual. The feelings are genuine and available. There's no shortage of affection and romantic feelings. And it's just there. And I don't have to fight for it. And I can tell you that nothing pales in comparison to that toxic romantic attention. Like nothing compares. It is truly drug-like.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But it's not to a point that I can't like, I don't know, find some sort of feeling of achievement. Like I'm putting pressure on myself, but I'm actually able to achieve everything that I'm expecting of myself. So that's good. And when it comes to other people, I would say my standards are pretty balanced right now. I don't think I'm expecting too much, but I'm definitely not allowing myself
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But drugs are not good for you. They're just not. Their potentially most unhealthy part is how good they feel, but how bad they are for you. Like that juxtaposition is the worst part about it, right? It's like if drugs made you feel bad and were just really bad, it'd be like, Well, stay away from those. The problem with drugs is that they feel really good and they're really bad for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
That's the problem. So, yeah, you should really give this guy a solid chance. OK, because the only way to sort of grow through that toxic habit of dating guys that don't like you, the only way to get through that is to date a guy that's good for you and is to figure out how to be satisfied with normal romance and normal affection. And you can't do that when you're dating toxic guys.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You just can't. So I really think you need to give this guy a solid chance. Okay. Give him a solid chance. And I can't define what a solid chance looks like. Unfortunately, like only you can figure that out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But I would say, you know that it's not working if you get to a point where you truly feel like you're fooling yourself and this person, you know, where you're like, OK, at this point, it's been, you know, X amount of months, perhaps even a year, perhaps even two years. And I'm just not feeling it. The feelings just never came.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And at this point, it's starting to feel unfair to them and to me that we're in this situation. And it just feels irresponsible at this point. the likelihood that, you know, it's going to work out is low enough now that it's just, I got to let it go. And that's okay too, right? You might give this guy a chance and really, really give it a solid go. And it just does not work out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And there's a chance that He's just not for you. Like, that's totally fine too, right? As long as you gave him a solid chance, you can move forward knowing that you, number one, are taking steps to get over your toxic habits. But number two, that you didn't just jump to conclusions about this person. You actually gave it a try. It didn't work out. And now you know for sure.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But unless you try it, you'll never know for sure. But now you tried it. So now you know for sure. And it didn't work out. And that's totally fine. And you move forward. And it's not your type of guy. But now you know what it feels like to experience, you know, a really good guy. And so now you know what to look for.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
There's someone out there that has the same traits that this guy has, but is, for whatever reason, more of a click for you. And it is sort of unfortunate how somebody on paper can look like the perfect person for you. You know, they have every single trait that you're looking for. But for some reason, it's just not right. Love and romance is sort of unexplainable. It's almost like cosmic.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
We can try to explain it or, you know, be like, well, you know, this type of person is compatible with this type of person and this and that. bullshit. It just, it just is. Do you know what I'm saying? Like we can't predict. It's almost like it's not up to us. Like the universe has its own sort of plan when it comes to love. And we just don't, we just have to trust that.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Bad behavior. Bad behavior is is not allowed right now. My standards are too high and good for me because it is much better to have people in your life who respect you. Anywho, my cat is like meowing in the kitchen and it's just it's unbelievable because I fed them 15 minutes ago. I just don't know what the cat could be wanting. And I don't know which of my cats it is. I have one girl and one boy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And if something's not working, it's not, but something, if something is working, then it is. But sometimes when it's working, it's because it's toxic and you're feeling explosive feelings of, you know, loss that you can't even explain and you can't That's actually all I have for today. That was today's advice session. And if you enjoyed it, tune into Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
New episodes available anywhere you stream podcasts. But video is on YouTube and Spotify. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain. I also am Anything Goes. I don't have a co-host. This is my show. But I also exist at Emma Chamberlain on social media. And I have a coffee company.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
on social media at Chamberlain Coffee and online at ChamberlainCoffee.com and in stores at Target, Sprouts, Whole Foods and more. Go look at the store locator if you want to find a store near you. That's all I got for today. I really appreciate you all listening, hanging out. It was truly, as always, a pleasure. And I don't know, let's just try to find our Goldilocks standards, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Like, you just got the tingles from that. Anyway, soon my cords will be warmed up. But for now, you get sexy, tingly morning voice from me. So you're welcome. Anyway, welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes, where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and I give you my unprofessional advice. And today's topic is standards.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Let's all work together to have Goldilocks standards. Um, I'm waiting for the email from Nobel peace prize foundation or whatever about my creation of the term Goldilocks standards. Can't wait to receive that email. Although I'm really horrible at checking my email. So I probably won't see the email. Okay. I'm done. I'm done. I'm fucking done. I'm done joking around. I'm done. I'm done talking.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I love you all. I appreciate you all. It's always such a joy to talk and hang out and we'll talk and hang out very soon. All right. Bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I don't know which one it is. Sounds like the boy. Do you hear that? Can I be honest? I need to go check on this cat. It's meowing very loudly. I'll be right back. Okay, I'm back. I checked on the cat and everything seemed completely normal. They have full food bowls. I can't explain it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And whenever my cats start meowing out of nowhere, I convince myself that they are seeing a ghost in my house, that there is ultimately a spiritual intruder. And it totally makes me paranoid for the rest of the day. So I'm going to try to distract myself now by giving you advice. So let's just begin. Okay, somebody said, I have high standards in all of my relationships. Romantic, platonic, etc.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I feel like they're too much for most friends and loved ones to live up to. Should I hold my standards anyway? Okay. I feel like most people tend to look at low standards as the most dangerous, the most negative. And they tend to dismiss the potential dangers of having standards that are too high.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Now, it's clear that you're concerned about your own standards and you're starting to question if they're too high. I'm just saying as a society, we tend to see standards that are too low as being worse than standards that are too high. And to be honest, I think both are equally as dangerous. OK, when your standards are too low. You'll let people walk all over you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You know, your quality of relationships will suffer because you just kind of let anyone in. And a lot of times that lowers your self-esteem because you have people around you who are not of high quality. You don't respect them. They don't inspire you. They don't respect you. You don't inspire them. It's just like a net negative situation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And you allow it because you don't have high enough standards to put a stop to it. But on a personal level, when your standards are too low... You just won't achieve to the level that you could otherwise. And that's a shame because you're capable of a lot of magic. And when your standards are too low for yourself, you oftentimes don't have the drive to make shit happen.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And so you're not functioning at the highest level. And we should all be striving to... function at the highest level. Right. So, yeah, it's very clear that having standards that are too low is not good, bad, detrimental. But I would argue that having standards that are too high are almost equally as dangerous just for very different reasons.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And again, there's a lot of people who are aware of this, but there's also a lot of people who aren't. When your standards are too high in friendships and relationships, nobody ever can live up to your expectations, which leads you to disappointment and leads you to creating a dynamic with your friends and loved ones where they constantly feel inadequate in your eyes.
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are my standards too high? advice session [video]
They constantly feel like they just can't win with you. And at a certain point, they're going to get exhausted. Like, I just can't keep up with the expectations of this person. I don't know if I can do it anymore. And it sort of becomes this doomed situation of like either the people in your life are going to leave you because they just can't live up to your expectations.
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are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And the feeling of disappointing you is really challenging for them. So they'd rather just not be friends with you at all, not date you at all. not be around you at all, whatever. Or your expectations are so high that you're constantly disappointed with your loved ones and you're the one to cut them off. But that's usually how that story ends. Isolation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
If no one can live up to your standards, then you will be alone. Because unfortunately, Nobody out here is perfect. In fact, we're all very far from perfect. And I challenge you to find someone who doesn't frustrate you, who doesn't fall short sometimes. Good fucking luck. It's just the way that it is.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And we should have high enough standards for ourselves that the people in our lives have a positive impact on our lives. But we can't take it to an extreme where we're expecting so much positive from these people that we end up creating a big negative. And when your standards are too high for yourself, oh my God, so many bad things happen. You psych yourself out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Our standards are complicated, right? Because they're constantly fluctuating. Sometimes our standards are too high. Sometimes they're too low. And when we're lucky, sometimes they fall somewhere in between. Not too high, not too low, just right. Goldilocks standards. But as much as we all strive to have Goldilocks standards, which is, I think, a term I just came up with.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You get mental blocks because you're so afraid of failure. You're so afraid of wasting time. You're so afraid of not using your time efficiently. You're so afraid of not being productive. You're so afraid of people judging you. You're so afraid of judging yourself. that you end up frozen. You don't even know what to do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
You don't even know how to start because there are so many daunting thoughts in your head. When you do accomplish something, you don't get any feelings of satisfaction because your expectations for yourself are so high that you could never possibly accomplish enough to satisfy those standards, to reach those standards. And your self-esteem just absolutely plummets. Listen, you get the point.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
extremes on both ends are equally as bad. The reason I bring this up is because I think a lot of people are aware of the dangers of low standards, but are less aware of the dangers of high standards. Because I think in our society today, if you will, high standards are sort of promoted and praised.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
I see dating advice online, for example, that consists of people sitting there and saying, if your significant other doesn't buy you flowers every day, cook your breakfast every day, make your coffee every morning, give you a back rub every night, only say nice things to you, only give you a gentle little kiss on the nose, have sex with you every single day and have a really well-paying job and you never have to, then drop them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
If they don't have all that, drop them. I can't tell you how many times I've seen advice like that. Being like, come on people, we need to higher our standards. There are definitely a good chunk of people out there that end up raising their standards too high when they hear that advice. There are also people out there who just naturally have
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
sort of dangerously high standards and I think it's hard to keep it in check when no one's telling you that that's potentially a dangerous thing and oh my cats are fighting now are you guys kidding me like I'm just I I can't get through anything with you guys around okay
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
So I'd say once you are aware of sort of the gravity of the dangers of having standards that are too high, you can properly analyze your own. But I think until you see it as something that can be potentially dangerous, you're not going to be as critical of your high standards. Because there's a lot of noise telling you that having high standards is a good thing. It's a power move. It's girl boss.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
It's strength. It's girl boss, it's boy boss. You know what I'm saying? Whatever. But it's boss. You want to have high standards, right? So step one is to realize that it can be potentially dangerous. And step two is to reflect on your standards. And this is how I personally would do it, okay? I'd ask myself a series of questions and see what my answers are.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Question number one, are my loved ones genuinely hurting me in some way? Like, am I questioning if my standards are too high because no one's living up to my expectations and it's really disappointing? Or like, are multiple people in my life actually hurting me? And that's why I'm questioning my standards, because I'm like, wow, it seems like
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Everyone's disappointing me because everyone's hurting me. Do you see what I'm saying? Like, are the people in your life hurting you genuinely? I think that's an important first question to ask. And if the answer is yes, then that means, no, I don't think your standards are too high. I think you have some challenging characters in your life that you might need to reevaluate.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But if the answer is no, and the people in your life are not genuinely hurting you, they're just not living up to your expectations. They're not perfect listeners or they're not perfectly attentive 24-7 or, you know, they sometimes have moments where they lash out a little bit or, you know, like little things that everyone struggles with, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Did I just come up with that? Goldilocks standards? Has anyone ever said that? OK, nominate me for a Nobel Peace Prize. That's actually incredible. That's beautiful. Wow. Very excited and inspired. Thank you. Moving on. It's very challenging to maintain balance.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
If it's stuff like that, okay, then maybe you should continue questioning a little bit more. The next thing I'd ask myself would be, am I communicating my standards? Am I even bringing this stuff up? Because you can't expect the people in your life to read your mind.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And I get sometimes that there's sort of this feeling of like, well, if you really knew me, then you would know that this is what's important to me. I'm sorry. That is unrealistic. You need to communicate your standards. We are all different in so many ways. And you can't expect other people to know exactly what you want at all times.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And so if you're not communicating, then you can't necessarily expect that from others. Can you expect... basic respect, basic kindness, basic levels of communication? Absolutely. But you can't expect people to perfectly meet your standards because those are very specific to you. And if the people in your life don't know what those standards are, they cannot live up to them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
So ask yourself, are you communicating these things? If you are, okay, great. Well then, they're aware and they're either choosing not to put the effort in to live up to those standards or they literally can't and it's impossible. And so that's something you need to ask yourself.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
If the answer is no and you're not communicating, okay, well, you need to start out by communicating with your loved ones what your standards are, okay? Because they can't live up until you tell them. So my piece of advice then is to go and communicate and then give it another few months and see what happens and then come back to this.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But again, if you are communicating, okay, well then now there's more thinking to do. Now you need to sort of analyze, all right, what percentage of my loved ones are actually able to live up to these standards? You know, is it 50-50? Is it 90-10? What are we working with here?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
If majority of your loved ones are not living up to your standards and they're not hurting you, your standards are too high. They're just simply too high. Oh, we have a cat. You're all wrapped up in my cords, buddy. All good. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
But then again, if there's sort of a small chunk of your loved ones who aren't living up to your expectations and everyone else is able to do it, then maybe you wanna hone in on those people and see what the problem is. And maybe it's less about your standards and more about their compatibility with your standards, right? And you wanna maybe figure out some sort of workaround.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
And then from there, I think the last question to ask yourself is, could you live up to your own standards? If you were friends with yourself, if you were dating yourself, Would you live up to your own expectations? If your expectations for others are really that high, chances are you wouldn't be able to live up. And that's something that's important to be aware of. So anyway, let's move on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
with our standards to find that state of Goldilocks standards, because there are a bunch of variables in our lives that directly impact our standards. And those variables are constantly changing, evolving, fluctuating. And as a result, our standards are all over the place. You know, I know for me, I constantly have to keep my standards in check.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
are my standards too high? advice session [video]
Somebody said, I keep getting into situationships and I'm tired. How do I find something real? okay, this is going to sound really harsh, but I can promise you that it's not. I'm saying it with love. And this is something that I've struggled with before too. Okay. So like, don't feel offended. Okay. Let's not get offended today. We're, we are in a safe space here. Okay. Let's not get offended.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Probably about a year ago now, I woke up one day and I decided, you know what? I think I'm ready. I think I'm ready to embark on the journey to quitting nicotine. After six years of addiction, about a year ago, I woke up and decided, you know what? I think I'm ready to embark on the journey to quitting.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like if Cheez-Its came out with like a new Cheez-It, like Kate always had them. Like Kate always had cool stuff. And I remember one day, Kate came into history class And I saw her sucking on something. And we were friends. So I went up to her and I was like, what is that? And she gave me one. She's like, it's a coffee Rio. I was like, what's that? She's like, it's like a coffee flavored candy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
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my severe oral fixation [video]
I got it at the candy store. And there was like a candy store that was, you know, like a 15 minute walk from our school. And I was like, oh, okay. I remember I tried it and it tasted like, okay, if you were to combine like a Frappuccino, like a Starbucks Frappuccino,
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
and a Tootsie Roll and then make it a little bit harder, like a Jolly Rancher, like a little bit like texture in between a Jolly Rancher and a Tootsie Roll. So like kind of hard, but not as hard as a hard candy Jolly Rancher, right? And it tastes like a Frappuccino. It's like sweet, milky coffee, right? And you suck on it. It's like that, okay? Like it's maybe an inch and a half long, whatever.
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my severe oral fixation [video]
I became obsessed, okay? And immediately after school ended that day, I walked down to the little candy store. And I bought an entire, this candy store was like a bulk candy store. Like you could buy stuff in bulk. So they had all these different bins and you could like fill up a bag. So I went over and I filled up a massive bag filled with the Coffee Rios. Okay, they're called Coffee Rios.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And for years, like for like probably the rest of middle school, I was constantly sucking on these. I was obsessed with them. And I actually have some at my house right now. I ordered them again online. I found them online somewhere. and bought them. They're kind of rare. Like you don't see them around, but they're so good. Oh my God. They're so good. Like even today they hold up.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
They're fucking delicious. But that wasn't my only middle school oral fixation. Okay. Another discovery that I happened to discover was From Kate. I don't know. Kate was an influencer, to be honest. Kate was influencing. Another oral fixation that came from Kate was one day she came to school and she had a sore throat. Okay. And she brought cough drops to school.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Now, as we know, I already had a cough drop obsession earlier in my life. It was the cherry cough drops. Okay. Kate brought to school a cough drop that I had never seen before. This was, I believe it was the Halls brand menthol minty cough drop. And I was like, huh. what's that? She was like, it's so minty. And I remember like smelling her breath and it was so minty.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I was like, like she was talking to me and I could like, it was just wafting out of her mouth, the smell of this like insane mint menthol. And I was like, oh my God, can I try one? She was like, of course. Once again, Kate influencing me. I became obsessed with With the menthol cough drop, I was more obsessed with the coffee Rio candy, but I also absolutely loved the menthol cough drop.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
It was like a refreshing alternative because like the coffee Rio was, you know, it's coffee. It like was kind of rich, you know, whereas the menthol cough drop was refreshing, refreshing. Next, we have some oral fixations that actually my dad and I both share. We both loved these. These were things that we enjoyed together. Number one, Sean White gum.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Close your eyes and go back to 2013 for a minute and remember the Sean White gum. It was like a sweet mint gum by the brand Stride, I think. And it was a collab with Sean White and Sean White's face was on it. And I wasn't even into winter sports, okay, at all. I don't know why we tried the Sean White collab gum. We didn't even really know who Sean White was.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
But my God, did we love his gum collab. Wow, wow, wow, it was good. It was good. And we chewed that gum every day on the way to school for years and years and years. We'd be driving to school and we would be just chewing on that Shawmite gum. And you know what else we would have? Classic peppermint Lifesavers. Okay. The Lifesaver sucker mints. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
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my severe oral fixation [video]
And those were nice because I could actually bring those with me to school and have them with me at school. And it was allowed because gum was not allowed at school. Okay. So I'd have to spit it out when I got there. But the Lifesavers, I could absolutely have at school.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And those were all great, but definitely like, I can't express to you, all of these different oral fixations were not just like little things I'd enjoy here and there. Or like things that I would use, you know, for like a functional purpose. Like I wasn't sucking on the cough drops because my throat hurt, right? I wasn't chewing gum or sucking on the mints because my breath was a bit sour.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
No, no, no. You know, I wasn't popping an occasional coffee Rio candy for funsies. I wasn't having an occasional like these were all like oral obsessions. And they all sort of have a through line in a way like they were really interesting to my palate. And they, all of them weirdly brought me peace in one way or another. Like they all sort of served some sort of weird emotional purpose.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
You know, like the ones that I'd enjoy in class made me feel, you know, less anxious at school. You know, the stuff that I'd have at home would help me decompress after potentially an anxious day. Like, I don't know. It just makes sense to me. And then I got a little bit older and I started enjoying orange Tic Tacs. Okay. I don't really know when it started.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Wait, the orange... I just remember... Hold on. I just had an insane flashback and I have to share it, but I don't even know if it's accurate. I thought that the orange Tic Tacs started when I was older, but I just realized that they actually might have started in elementary school. So when I was like literally five, six years old, I actually think...
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Someone had orange Tic Tacs in elementary school and gave me one. And I'm now remembering it. And I think that they said that they got it from church or something. They had gotten orange Tic Tacs from their church. This is such a weird memory. I can't remember it. Anyway. So now I'm realizing that I liked orange Tic Tacs when I was like five years old.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I was still sucking my thumb then, but apparently I liked orange Tic Tacs then too. But when I got a bit older, I always had orange Tic Tacs in my car because I absolutely loved them. So that was something that sort of came back for me. I wasn't really addicted to them though when I was like five years old. I think I just liked them and then it became more of like an obsession later on.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Now let's get to the dirty stuff, okay? After I was done with school and I was an adult living in the real world, even though I wasn't really an adult, I was still kind of a teenager, we started with the nicotine, okay? We started with the nicotine. And I was just absolutely doomed from the start.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I was so made for nicotine addiction because all forms of nicotine, cigarettes, vape, nicotine pouches, Even like dip, chew, all that stuff. Not that I'm dipping, but I've never even tried that. But all of that is very oral, right? And it's also, so it's like, not only is it oral, but it also is chemically addictive because of the nicotine. I was fucking doomed from the start.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I never, ever should have even tried it. But I did. And it's funny because actually when I first tried it, I remember I first tried the vape when I was actually in high school and all my friends started to get jewels. If you remember the jewel vape, you know, the chic little black one, right? You all know what a jewel is. A jewel, right? everyone started using the Juul.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Okay, it was like very popular. But at that time, I was very against it. I was like, I'm never gonna smoke. That's disgusting. I would never do that. You know, when you're young, you find these things foul. And then a lot of times you grow out of it and then you grow to love them. Like I thought drinking was foul when I was in middle school. I was like, I would never drink.
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my severe oral fixation [video]
That is so like bad for you. And then by like, I don't know, the third month of freshman year, I was like getting drunk. You know what I mean? And it was the same thing with nicotine and vape at first. I was like, I'm not trying that. I'm not trying that. But I remember some of my friends started to get Juuls and then other of them started to get like box vapes, like the big, you know, box vape.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
This journey has taught me a lot, a lot about myself, a lot about addiction. I've learned a lot, but I'd say through it all, the most significant thing that I learned was was how truly intense my oral fixation is. Okay, I knew I had an oral fixation. I sucked my thumb as a kid, I love the vape, the vape is like a pacifier for me, like, you know, calms me down or whatever.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I remember my friends who had box vapes, they actually didn't have... nicotine juice in there. It was like nicotine free. And I remember trying it and thinking it was kind of fun and I would hit the vape in the car and it didn't have any nicotine. And then eventually I tried the Juul and I hated it because it didn't, I don't know, it didn't taste as good.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like the really sweet like box vape was much more like yummy and fun. So, you know, and that didn't have nicotine in it. So I was like less afraid of it. And in high school, I never got into it. And everybody around me was using them. Everyone was addicted and I wasn't. And then again, I moved out. moved to LA, and that's when I got addicted. I think I was under a lot more stress.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I think I was having a hard time. I was working really long hours, which sounds insane. It's like, Emma, you're a fucking YouTuber. Shut the fuck up. I get it. But my YouTube videos used to take like fucking 30 hours to edit. And because I, you know, they were really complicated edits and it was a really grueling process.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I would have a hard time sitting and editing for like eight hours straight, which now that I'm older, I have less of a hard time with. But when I was like, I don't know, 17, it was a bit harder for me, 17, 18. So the vape really helped me. Yeah. So I got super addicted to the vape, specifically the Juul, specifically mango Juul pod. Do we all remember the mango Juul pod?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Listen, I don't think anyone should vape. I scream from the fucking rooftops. Nicotine is the devil. Don't touch it. But my God, I close my eyes and I think back to the mango Juul pod and I shed a small fucking tear. Okay. Small fucking tear falls down my cheek because I think about the mango Juul pod. I think about the flavor.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I think about the flavor and I remember the sweet, sweet memories of my teenage years. I fucking loved the mango jewel pot, but they did discontinue it. Why? Because children like me were using them. Okay. Children like me. Wow. Isn't that just poetic? And I remember being like, why the fuck are they banning them? Like kids aren't even using them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like it's, it's like people like me, like teenagers. It's like, yeah, you're the reason why they're banning them, idiot. Anyway, so it was so funny. For majority of my vaping career, if you will, I was underage and it was always such a grind to get Juul pods. It was a fucking grind. I had to rely on others or get sneaky with it. It was complicated, but I made it happen. I made it happen. And
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
You know, for many years, I was very addicted to the vape and I didn't ever even really try to quit. It was just sort of a part of my routine. And, you know, I used various different types. I used the Juul for a long time on and off. I also used disposable ones that are probably worse for you than the Juul. I mean, the Juul is bad enough. It's all bad for you.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
But like the disposable ones that have like, that are coming like bright colors and like crazy flavors, those are literally, those are radioactive, you guys. We have to stop using those. Let me tell you. I mean, they're absolutely incredible. They're delicious. But I mean, we cannot, we must stop using them. And now they're coming out with the vapes that have like the screen on the side.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
If you know what I'm talking about, it's insane, you guys. We have to stop. But I've tried it all. My favorite was always the Juul. But eventually, I got to a point where I was like, all right, I need to stop. I feel like this is truly unhealthy. But I literally tried to quit vaping for one day, and I had such an insane mental breakdown that I was like, I can't do this. And so I got into the Zin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And the Zin is like a nicotine pouch. And for a long time, I absolutely loved the Zin. It was like... It, to me, didn't feel as unhealthy. Do not take that as fact, okay? I don't want all of the ear, nose, and throat doctors, I guess just for the sake of the throat, but I don't want the ear, nose, and throat doctors to be like, uh, excuse me, or I guess it would be dentist or gum doctor, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Anyway, I don't need doctors being like, Emma Chamberlain is spreading false information. She's saying that the nicotine pouches are healthier than the vape. No, it's not. They're all bad. I know they're all bad. But to me, I was like, all right, I'm letting something sit in my mouth versus inhaling something all the time like this must be better. This must be healthier.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like, I knew I had an oral fixation. But I didn't know how severe and intense and extreme it was until I embarked on this journey to quitting nicotine. And then I had months at a time where I didn't have any nicotine and the oral fixation didn't go away. The nicotine, I was able to quit for months at a time. The oral fixation has yet to waver, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I felt like I was getting the buzz from the nicotine. I was really happy with that. And I honestly was like, I don't think I'm ever going to quit nicotine now. I love these so much. And they feel so much healthier. How could these be bad? How could they be wrong? I'm not inhaling anything. It can't be bad.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
But then I went through a breakup and the breakup was tough and I needed some happy chemicals in the brain. So I started juuling again. I got a new juul. And then I juuled for probably like another six months. And then I was like, all right, enough's enough. Like, you know, I started to get really bad health anxiety again about it. And I was like, I shouldn't be doing this anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
So then I went back to the Zin. And then in California, they banned the flavored Zin. And I was like, God damn it. Now what? And I was kind of faced with that dilemma of like, now what? And that's when I sort of woke up and decided I need to figure something else out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I actually forgot to mention, there was a brief moment before I found the Zin where I tried Nicorette gum, which is like nicotine gum. And I just wanted to say that I hated it. I didn't mention it earlier because it never really became... like a consistent part of my routine. But I tried it and I absolutely hated it. It didn't work for me.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
But anyway, so yeah, I ultimately got to the point where I was like, it's being discontinued in California. Like I'm not going to be able to find it. But then also like, I shouldn't be doing this shit anyway. And like, it's probably better if I just quit. And so that was when I came to the conclusion that I was ready to embark on the journey to quitting nicotine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And that sort of unleashed a whole new wave of oral fixations. I went cold turkey this time. You know, in the past, like when I would quit vaping, I would go to the Zin. But this last time that I decided I was going to quit, I didn't have that. It was just like, all right, I guess... I guess that's it. And so I was really, really desperate for oral fixations. So first I started with gum, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I was just buying like the average gum that we all know and love, okay? Like... We all know the big brands. My particular favorite was Ice Cube's Ice Breakers. That was the absolute best. But I also had a moment with the, I believe it was the brand Extra, and it was like Extra Mint Medley.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
It was like Mint Medley and it came in like, you know, a little, instead of coming in like a cardboard-ish sort of little pack, it came in a plastic box and it was like these kind of crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside, like minty sort of squares. It's kind of similar to an ice breakers ice cube, except it was hard on the outside and the flavor was a bit different. I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Anyway, so I really enjoyed those gums. I also bought Sour Patch Kid flavored gum. I was just buying gum left and right. And for a really long time, I was chewing gum, like two months of chewing gum. And But I started to notice that I was getting really extreme stomach pain, like really bad, really, really bad. And I... Yeah, I knew what it was from.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I say embark on the journey to quitting instead of just quitting because unfortunately, nicotine is a little bit too addictive to just wake up one day and decide to quit, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
It was from the aspartame, which is the artificial sweetener in gum. It's really hard on the stomach. And it's not particularly a loved ingredient, right? People who are health conscious do not like aspartame. It's kind of like the mass artificial sweetener. They use it in Diet Coke. And it's not good for your gut. It's not healthy, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And there's constantly articles about how bad it is for you. And I've seen some things about people saying it might be a carcinogen, but I haven't seen anyone confirm that. But I think it's banned in some places. It's definitely not a great ingredient. And it makes sense. Anything that's that sweet but doesn't contain any sugar, there's got to be a catch.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
We don't get anything for free in this life. So anyway, I experienced the catch, okay? And that was that it destroyed my gut, okay? In the beginning, when I first started chewing gum, it was fine.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I thought that I was addicted to nicotine for nicotine, right? Wrong, no. I think more than I'm even addicted to nicotine, and I'm really addicted to nicotine, I'm addicted to having an oral fixation, okay? Now, if you don't know what an oral fixation is, don't worry, I Googled it for you. An oral fixation is an unhealthy, obsessive behavior that involves the mouth.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
But eventually, after chewing, like literally, I kid you not, a piece from the time that I woke up to the time I went to sleep, like replacing the pieces every hour, probably chewing like 20 pieces of gum a day. Okay, maybe not, maybe like 12 to 15, but like a lot of gum, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I think the aspartame eventually just like fucked with my stomach or maybe like I, I don't know what happened, but something bad really started to happen and I started to get insanely painful gut issues. Like I started getting horrible cramps on a daily basis that were so bad that I literally got to a point one day where I was like, I cannot, like this cannot happen again tomorrow.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And so I was faced with the decision, like, what now? And so I started chewing aspartame-free gum. And that actually fixed the problem. My stomach wasn't hurting anymore, but guess what? Guess what started to happen? I was chewing so much gum, I started to get jaw pain, okay? And I also started to notice facial puffiness. And I was like, what is going on?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like my face started to look puffy and my like jaw was looking bloated. And I was like, you would think if I was chewing gum all day that my jaw would be like sharp, like it would be like insane, like the sharpest jawline anyone's ever seen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It made my face look very round and bloated. And it was not good. I wasn't sure if that was what it was from.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And so I just kept chewing gum and my jaw progressively started to get worse and worse. And then I went into my orthodontist for like a routine sort of checkup because I'm doing Invisalign on my bottom teeth. I'm doing braces for the thousandth, millionth time. And I was talking to her about how I've been chewing a lot of gum.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
She was like, oh God, you might get TMJ, which is like some sort of jaw condition that you can get from chewing too much gum. And I think I started to get that. Yeah. Not only that, but the aspartame-free gum wasn't that good anyway. It did the trick, but it lost flavor very quickly. And that was kind of frustrating. I was having to put in a new piece constantly.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And also, gum is tough because you have to spit it out somewhere. And sometimes I didn't know where to spit it. Like, I got to the point where I was like, the brand of gum that I was using came in like these little bags and I would always keep an extra one of the bags, like an extra empty one of the bags in my purse as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I'd spit the old gum into the empty bag and then grab new gum out of the full bag. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. But people really found that disgusting. People who were close to me. I wasn't like spitting the gum out in front of strangers, like at a meeting. But like my loved ones were like, Emma, what the fuck are you doing?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like you're chewing gum all day long, spitting it into that little bag. Like it's really just weird. And the jaw pain got so bad. I was like, fuck this. What, what, like, I just need my oral fixation for the love of God. Where is it?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And then I found my recent obsession, my recent oral fixation, which is the brand... I've talked about these before on the podcast, so I'm sorry that I sound like a broken record. The Pure brand, aspartame-free... tangerine tango mints. Okay, these are just absolutely incredible. They remind me of the orange Tic Tac that I mentioned earlier, but they don't have aspartame in it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
They don't hurt my stomach yet. They're my current obsession. The only problem with them is that sometimes they make my mouth raw because I literally suck on them all day long. But so far, they're pretty reliable. And I just, I have one in my mouth all day long. I literally have the little tin with me of the little orange mints all day long. I order them on bulk on Amazon.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I'm absolutely eating them all day long. Like when I'm working, when I'm doing everything, I cannot leave the house without them.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
If I leave the house without them, I get anxious in the same way that I felt when I used to leave the house without the jewel in the same way that I used to feel when I would go on a trip and forget Biggie Big, my stuffed animal, which literally never even happened because I couldn't go a night without Biggie Big, my stuffed animal. And so that is my current obsession.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
In addition to another oral fixation, one that I have not discussed yet, that is my new obsession as of the last week and a half, two weeks. Okay. And that is minty flavored toothpicks. People have been recommending like flavored toothpicks, cinnamon toothpicks, mint toothpicks, nicotine toothpicks. They actually have nicotine toothpicks for years.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
It can manifest as nail biting, thumb sucking, overeating, or smoking. It can be caused in infancy. Oral fixations can develop in babies who don't receive enough oral stimulation during infancy. It can also be caused by underlying psychological issues. Oral fixations can be a way to cope with stress, anxiety, or distress. I'm very anxious, so that definitely checks out.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I've always been like, why would I want to chew on a toothpick? Do I look like a fucking cowboy? Do I look like a douchebag? Do you like, I don't want to chew on a toothpick. But actually somebody in my life who also on and off quits nicotine, uses it again, quits whatever, was like, try this toothpick. And I was like, all right, why not?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Tried the toothpick, obsessed, ordered so many of them, obsessed with them, absolutely popping the toothpick. Now I switch between, I always either have a mint in my mouth or a toothpick. The only time I don't, I'm not even kidding, is when I record this podcast. Otherwise, I have a toothpick in my mouth. I'll tell you a funny story about the toothpick.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
So as you all know, I'm obsessed with hot yoga right now. I talk about it every episode. It's so embarrassing and so cringe. It's like, who fucking cares, Emma? Like, shut the fuck up. But I love yoga. And like two days ago, I was going to a 9am class and... On the way there in the car, I had a toothpick in my mouth and I kind of forgot.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And so I walk into class and I check in, whatever, and I go into the room for the class and I'm sitting there on my mat, fully ready for class, like in my yoga clothes, okay? Like ready to go. And I still have my toothpick in my mouth and I was like, oh, that's kind of funny. I forgot to take it out, but it's still minty and the class hasn't started yet. So I'm just going to chew on it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And then I start chatting with somebody in there who I actually hadn't chatted with before and And she was like, okay, so it's 9am and you're chewing on a toothpick? Like, what is going on? Like, you look cool, I guess, but like, what's going on? And I was like, oh, totally. And then I realized how fucking douchey it looks. I'm in yoga, in my like yoga clothes. And I have a toothpick in my mouth.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I'm like, like, what's happening? Anyways, loving the toothpick, though. It's incredible. It's absolutely incredible. And, you know, I'm going to put in a toothpick after this. Oh man, I have one sitting right here. I might even put one in now. It is so freaking good, the toothpick. Yum. Oh my God. Yum. Little minty toothpick.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
You know, and the thing that's funny about the toothpick too is that it actually does, it kind of does look cool. Like it is douchey, but I have to take it out of my mouth because you can hear that it's in my mouth, but it's a bit douchey, but it's kind of fucking cool. I don't know. There's something cool about it. So I'm kind of loving it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Anyway, so aspartame free orange flavored mints and minty toothpicks are my oral fixations of today. Do I think I'll ever grow out of this? I don't know. I don't know. It's interesting, too, because like I also started drinking. This is another oral fixation.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
My apple cider vinegar in sparkling water drink that I've drank throughout my life on and off because my mom used to give it to me when I'd have a tummy ache. And I actually just grew to like it and liking the flavor. So I've on and off drank it throughout my life. For the last, I don't know, probably year, since my nicotine quitting journey started, I've been drinking that more.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I think it's because that also is sort of an oral fixation. It's super sour. The vinegar is super sour. And it's like something satisfying for my mouth. That's actually another one. I've talked about that a lot as well. That's another sort of obsession of mine. And I think it weirdly makes sense. I have a coffee company. Why?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Not randomly, but because since I was a teenager, I've absolutely adored always having a coffee. I love having a coffee. I love that it's bitter. It's interesting for my brain. Obviously, it also is caffeine, so I love caffeine. I'm not anti-caffeine. And I mean, thank God for that because again, I have a coffee company.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
It can also be caused by conditions like ADHD and autism. People with ADHD or autism may have oral fixations as a way to calm anxiety, focus, or channel excess energy. I have yet to be diagnosed with ADHD or autism, but people on the internet like to tell me all the time that I am both and have both. So there's a chance. Anywho, that's a little bit about oral fixations. Okay.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
If I had a coffee company and I was anti-caffeine or I grew to become anti-caffeine, that would be bad. I'm not anti-caffeine. I actually don't think caffeine is bad as long as you are responsible about your intake, which I am and we should all be. But But yeah, like, I don't know.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I think my love of like certain beverages, like I love fun beverages because I love sipping on something that's like fun and interesting. I don't know. I think it all makes sense now. You know, like so many little things that I've loved over the years make so much sense to me now because of this sort of realization that I have the worst oral fixation out of anyone possibly on the planet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
But you know, there's something kind of sweet about it. Like there's something kind of charming about the fact that like I always leave a trace because of my oral fixation. Let me explain. Like when I used to be obsessed with the cough drops or the coffee Rios, I was always leaving the little wrappers around.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Or when I got a little older and I was vaping, I would always leave jewel pods, like empty jewel pods around. Like you'd find them in my bed and in my pockets and and in my car and everywhere. And then when I was using the Zin, I would fucking spit the Zin everywhere in my car. Oh my God, this was something that was so bad. People hated this about me. People meaning my loved ones.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I used to think it was funny when I was driving... No. Oh, my God. Why do I tell stories like this? This is the type of stuff where then you guys judge me and bring it up for the next year and say that I'm disgusting. When I was driving, I used to think it was funny to spit the Zin, which was like a little nicotine pouch that I would put under my lip against my gums, right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I would spit it and try to get it to stick. to my passenger side door window sometimes. I just thought it was funny. Like it was like a funny challenge to see if it would stick. It's disgusting. It's so immature. I'm sorry. But anyway, there was always zins everywhere, like little zin pouches in my pocket, you know, in my hair, in my bed.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like my mom would like fucking be like, Emma, are you kidding me? And she like, I would like give her a gift or something or like buy her groceries. And there's like a zin in the bag. It was just everywhere. With the gum, I constantly was spitting gum out. It was like my little thing. And now with the minty toothpicks, everywhere I go, there's just minty toothpicks all over everywhere.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
They're in my car. They're in my shoes somehow. How'd they get there? I don't know. But there is something kind of charming about how I always leave a trace because of my oral fixation. You know what? It could be worse. I'm excited for the day that comes when maybe I don't need any of this. I don't crave any of this. I don't want to hit a vape. I don't want to pop a Xanin.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I don't need a minty toothpick. I'm excited for that day to come, but my God, has it not come yet? And in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my minty toothpicks and my aspartame-free orange mints in peace. And you know what? At least it's not nicotine. I don't think that these things are going to kill me. So that's better. You know, that's better.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Anyway, that was the overly detailed list of every oral fixation I've ever had in my entire life. And I hope that you enjoyed it. And if you did, don't worry. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. I'll be back. Okay, we can hang out again if you want. And you can also find Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And you can also watch on YouTube and on Spotify and listen anywhere you stream podcasts. And you can also find me on social media at Emma Chamberlain. And you can also find my coffee company at ChamberlainCoffee.com or at Chamberlain Coffee on... Oh, the toothpick's falling out of my mouth. At Chamberlain Coffee on social media.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And at a grocery store near you, perhaps, if you live near a Target or a Sprouts or an Albertsons or a Whole Foods or something, check the store locator on chamberlandcoffee.com to see if we're in a store near you. And that's it. That's all I have for today. A little trip down memory lane through the lens of my oral fixation. What a beautiful, beautiful way to take a trip down memory lane.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I'm not going to lie. I might have the worst oral fixation problem I've ever seen. Okay. I've never met someone who has as much of an oral fixation problem. Okay. And people in my life are like, girl, what is wrong with you? Like you really have an oral fixation problem. So it's not just like me self-diagnosing myself with a problem. Other people in my life are aware of it as well.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I wonder what it'd feel like to not have an oral fixation. I may never know. All right. That's all I have for today. It was truly a pleasure as always. I absolutely love hanging out with you all. It's truly a joy for me and I hope it's a joy for you and I love you and I appreciate you and I'll talk to you in a few days. Oh my God, I'm just absolutely devouring my little toothpick right now.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
So delicious. I wish you guys could have this tooth, share this toothpick with me. Not this exact one, but I wish we could just sit together and have toothpicks together. So good. All right, bye.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I think myself and my loved ones have known this about me for a long time. But this nicotine quitting journey has really just put it on display because now I have new oral fixations that are less common than like sucking on a vape. And it's just abundantly clear how bad my oral fixation problem is. Anyway, but it's also caused me to reflect on my life thus far.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Most of us who have nicotine addictions have to wake up one day and decide, all right, starting today, I'm gonna embark on the journey to quitting because quitting nicotine is incredibly challenging and it's not something that happens overnight. So if you want to quit, you have to commit to the journey because quitting is going to be a journey. And so for the last year, I've been on that journey.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And see all the signs clear as day now that hindsight is 2020, right? Like I can look back now and say, wait a minute, that was a total oral fixation when I was obsessed with eating those popsicles every single day for like two years. You know what I'm saying? Like all of these things don't just read to me as like quirky little phases anymore.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I look back and I'm like, whoa, this has always been a thing. Like there has not been, a year in my life where I haven't had some sort of oral fixation. It's been a constant in my life. And I didn't even realize that. Like, I thought it was just I sucked my thumb as a kid and then I vaped as a teen and young adult. And that was the extent of it. But recently, I really analyzed my past.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I was like, no, there were so many more. And so today I thought it'd be fun to go down the list of every single oral fixation I've ever had throughout my life and discuss them. So without further ado, let's begin. As I mentioned, my first oral fixation was my thumb. Okay, from the time I was born to the time I was 12 years old, I sucked my thumb.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Most people stop sucking their thumb at like age five, not me. Not me, okay? It started innocently when I was like a baby baby. I sucked my thumb and I rubbed a little blanket on my lip, okay? That's how it started. And it was super precious and it was super cute, right? It's so cute when babies suck their thumb. How charming is that? Then I got a little bit older.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And on Easter, I got a little stuffed bunny one year. And this little stuffed bunny I named Biggie Big. And Biggie Big had really soft ears. And so I started sucking my thumb and rubbing Biggie Big's ear on my upper lip. Okay, so then that became my thing. And then that kind of remained my thing until I was like 12 years old.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And it was one of those things that people didn't really know that I did, right? Like starting even in preschool, the teachers did not let me suck my thumb. They were like, we don't allow this. You need to be growing out of this. It's our job to stop these bad habits, these infantile habits, whatever. So- They used to take away my little stuffed animals and stuff during the day.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I would have an absolute fit. But that's when I started to have to, you know, have some restraint with the thumb sucking because I wasn't allowed to do it, you know, in preschool. And then obviously when I got to normal school, I really couldn't do it. It really wasn't allowed. But then I also started to have some sort of self-awareness. And I was like, ooh, no one else is doing it.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like, this is embarrassing now. And so it was just sort of this thing I did after school when I was home in my bed relaxing and there was nothing quite like it. I was a very anxious child. I had horrible separation anxiety from my parents and there was just nothing like getting home and sucking my thumb and rubbing Biggie Big's ears on my upper lip.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
OK, it's like the same fucking idea as getting home from work and cracking open a cold one. Do you know what I mean? It's the same fucking vibe just for like eight year olds. It's the same vibe. That's the vibe. Just a little something to take the goddamn edge off. And it was cute and it was charming until I started to get into the younger tween sort of ages. Right.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
We're talking about 10, 11, 12. Then it started to get a little bit weird. Right. It's like, what's going on? Right. She was supposed to grow out of this and she's not growing out of this. What's going on? Right. And in tandem with with that sort of concern, my jaw and teeth were getting all fucked up because during my developmental years, I was sucking my thumb.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And unfortunately, I'm not ready to sit here and say, I fully quit. There's no chance I'll ever relapse. I'm done. I'm done for life. Because when I see people with a vape, I'm like, you're going to let me hit that, right? And then I hit it. And then I ultimately had nicotine. So you know what I mean? I haven't fully quit. right?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
My thumb was in my mouth for half of the day. OK, not the full day because at school they wouldn't let me. But the second I got home, my thumb was in my mouth. OK, and I was sucking along. that's half of my life. I slept with it in my mouth. Like my thumb was in my mouth so much that it messed with my mouth. It messed with my jaw.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And so I had this overbite and I had this, like I, all this, I had a bunch of issues with my teeth. Okay. And my jaw and the orthodontist I started going to is like, if you don't stop sucking your thumb, you're gonna have to get surgery, okay? So they ultimately put this metal cage in my mouth.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I don't know how to describe it other than that it was a metal cage in my mouth and it prevented my thumb from going in my mouth, okay? And then I had to get neck gear and head gear. There's all this shit, okay? After years and years and years of braces, they fixed my jaw, everything was fine, and I stopped sucking my thumb finally.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
For years following that, my mom would sometimes find me in my bed with my thumb in my mouth, and she would gently pull it out of my mouth, or so she told me. But then that was kind of the end of it. And for a long time, I thought that that was the end of it until the vape. But I was so wrong, because after I stopped sucking the thumb... I started sucking on cherry flavored cough drops.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Yeah, Luden's cherry cough drops. Okay, I remember one day I found these in my dad's drawer somewhere. Like he had this like little medicinal drawer and I don't even remember why I was in there. I wasn't doing anything like crazy going in there, but I was sort of a snoopy sort of kid. I just sort of snoop around and I found Luden's cherry cough drops. And I became addicted to those.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And for quite a while, I sucked on those. And I absolutely love them. And they're delicious. You know, like even to this day, I love a Luden's cough drop. But, you know, my parents sort of put somewhat of a limit on it from what I can remember, because they're like, this is kind of like candy, right? A Luden's cough drop is... is a sugar-based cough drop.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And to eat one or two when you have a sore throat is one thing. To be eating them all day is another. And so, you know, my parents let me have them. But like, specifically, I remember they were at my dad's specifically, but they definitely put limits on me. I would have eaten a lot more of them if I was allowed. But I also would do really weird things.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Like another example, like I used to really love the flavor of mustard. And I remember one time, this to me feels in line with the oral fixation because I really liked mustard because it was like tingly and like, I don't know, it was like fun to eat and fun to taste because it was like sour, you know? And I liked sour things as a kid. I still do.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And so I would sometimes just like eat a spoonful of mustard. Again, like so odd, but there was something about it that like was sort of distracting and maybe soothing. I remember one time I took, I was watching YouTube on my iPad, okay?
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I was maybe like 10 and I went to my room and closed the door with a bottle of mustard and a spoon and I watched YouTube for like an hour and just kept squeezing more mustard onto the spoon and eating it, okay? That is weird, you guys. That's totally weird, okay? That's a little bit weird. But that was another thing I did. I did that multiple times.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And one day I'd like to be at a place where I see someone hitting a vape and I don't ask to hit it. When that day comes, I'll sit down here and tell you how I got there. But until then, all I can discuss is the journey because that's where I'm at right now. I'm doing really well, but I haven't fully quit yet.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Only once did I like really sit there and like pretty much eat the entire thing of mustard. You know, like that only really happened once. But I definitely used to like squirt a little mustard in a spoon and like slowly eat it. And it was sort of like, you know, a little something to do. And then came the Warheads popsicles. Okay. So I used to live near a convenience store.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Growing up, I lived near a convenience store. And my dad and I would go there all the time because, you know, like we needed batteries or we needed... I don't know. Like we just needed something. So anyway, we were constantly at this convenience store. And I remember one day I walk in and on display in the front, like fully like doing a promotion loud in front of me, Warheads sour popsicles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I said, dad, get me two boxes. Okay. So I got these Warhead popsicles. Oh no. Okay. for, I can't remember. I need to call my dad and ask him. I think probably for like two years, like every day after school, I was sucking on these for the rest of the day. Okay. My dad and I had to walk to the convenience store like once every three days to buy more boxes of these popsicles.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And that's something that would only ever happen at your dad's house with your divorced parents. Okay. Honestly, same thing with even the Luden's cherry cough drops. Like that's such a dad's house divorced. Like when your parents are divorced, going to your dad's is so chill. It's just chill. Like you can do shit. The mustard thing that was also happening at my dad's.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
All of these weird things were happening at my dad's because I was free when I was there. When I was at my mom's, she was like, Emma, Why aren't you fucking doing the dishes or getting in the shower and scrubbing your ass? Like, hello, go fluff the pillows in the living room. Hello, do your homework. Hello, brush your hair. Like I was busy.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
I was busy at my mom's because she was constantly on my ass. I always had shit to do. At my dad's, I was just chilling. So my oral fixations were really coming out. Anyway, I was obsessed with these Warheads Popsicles. And it's so funny because they eventually stopped selling them at the convenience store. And I craved them every day since.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
And I don't know, probably like four or five years ago, I decided to order them on Amazon. I found them on Amazon. I was like, let's go. And And anyway, so I kind of got back into them for a period of time. But they weren't the same. At that point, I was already vaping. I didn't need a Popsicle, you know what I mean? They still tasted good, but yeah, it wasn't quite the same.
anything goes with emma chamberlain
my severe oral fixation [video]
Okay, next oral fixation happened in middle school, okay? I had this friend named Kate. I don't know why I'm saying her name. Kate, if you remember me, I'm talking about you. Kate always had cool stuff, I felt like. Like Kate was one of those girls, like she always had cool pens or like yummy food at lunch, like trendy food.