This week, Father Cooper sits down with Emma Chamberlain for the second part of their conversation. Emma recalls feeling used by other Youtubers in order to gain views and how she was burned by the people she once looked up to. The pair discuss feeling out of control of their public perception and the need to consequently address and debunk fake rumors. Emma describes the anxiety she experiences as a result of constantly being surveillanced while out in public and the feeling of wanting to disappear. Let’s get into relationships and sex. Emma opens up about her struggles with her sexual identity, her ex-boyfriend, AND her new relationship. We also learn how Emma lost her virginity, what her favorite style of sex is, and what gives her the ick. Enjoy daddies!
Chapter 1: What challenges does Emma face in content creation?
I will say there has been a lot of times where I've almost quit.
And how do you not like what are the what brings you back to not quitting?
Well, I'm in an interesting spot now where, you know, I'm 20 and I am in a spot where I'm ready to evolve things. And I don't really know what that means for myself right now. But I need to like
find what mediums and what things make me excited because I was in this hamster wheel of you know creating content every single week for four years and the thing that kept me coming back was the fact that that's It's literally like a disease.
When you start doing YouTube or you start a podcast or whatever you do, which I've been doing both now for two years or so, you're like, if I miss a week, I'm done. People are going to fucking forget. People won't care. And you guilt trip yourself into pushing through even the roughest moments because... I burped. Because... There's this stigma that like the second you take a break, you're out.
But I'm done with that. I've taken a break for the past few months. I'm like, sorry, I'm done. Or a month or so. Not that long. But I was like, I'm burnt out. So I'm going to take a fucking break.
I'm burnt out. So I'm going to take a fucking break. When we talk about going through this hamster wheel process, it's so hard to explain like a tangible feeling that it is. And like I talk about it in therapy all the time. Like I started this podcast kind of like when you started YouTube and you didn't.
have anything in mind of like a start or end date it was like I'm just gonna start this and then all of a sudden you wake up and you're like I've been doing this for years yeah and like who am I without my podcast yeah are you without YouTube who is totally and it's like it there's no light at the end of the tunnel it's also not like the type of thing that you can ever stop thinking about
I've been thinking about YouTube for four years straight. There's not been a day or an hour that has gone by where something about it has not come into my head. And whether it's like, how do I want to evolve my, my videos? You know, what am I going to film next? Like, what are people going to think of that video? Was that video shit? Like same thing with my podcast.
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Chapter 2: How does public opinion affect Emma's mental health?
And listen, I'm not complaining about it because in every job and every, you know, profession in life, like there are elements of it that are just a nightmare. And I think just with this, it's like, everything could just go away so quickly. And I think the way that I've found peace in it is I'm like, okay, if it does, then it does. And I'll just get pregnant and have a baby.
This is Emma's pregnancy announcement right now. You guys, I'm pregnant. Like, no. It's like, goodbye.
Publicist said no.
I have never heard someone explain it like that, where your boss is the public. Every single creator said does exactly what you just said. You quickly say like and I'm not ungrateful and I'm not saying I'm not like so happy with what I have. That's not it. But in everyone's life, you have your struggles and you have your adversity that comes. Totally.
And when you have millions of people every single day. Having not only an opinion on you but sort of a holdover whether you have a career or not. Right. It is a lot to fucking handle as a young adult.
Well the thing is too about it is that as humans you know we're not supposed to. I mean, this is just an issue with social media in general. But you're just not supposed to be exposed to that many opinions, that many people's successes, that many people's vacations, that many people's hot takes. You're just not supposed to experience that many people's...
lives right you're you know we're programmed biologically to only have to compare ourselves and and listen to like a handful of people right i've watched a video about this like i'm not a fucking scientist but like i did watch a video about this yeah yeah um i'm citing my sources long story short like you're just not supposed to hear from that many people it's not
like something that we're evolved to be able to comprehend. So it makes sense that, you know, for us, for example, like reading comments all the time from hundreds of different people, sometimes thousands, sometimes millions, that's just not a normal experience. And so when our brains react in weird ways, it's like, what else did we expect? This is a weird situation and is not normal. Natural.
Yeah. And I hate when people say like, then just don't do it. Yeah. I understand what you're saying, but I do love it. Totally. It's my passion. Mm-hmm. So then you have to basically I think what we're both saying is like it is there is no book that gives you here's a guideline. Right.
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Chapter 3: What are the pros and cons of living in LA?
and and i'm sure it's okay if you guys don't know and i'm sure vice versa there's gonna be people that are like why there's people that don't like me and they'll be like why did emma go on alex's show and it's like people are unforgiving and ruthless on the internet and not only that they are excited when there's drama like there are there have been episodes where people are like i'm gonna cancel you for having that person on your show yeah but does it say more about me for having them on why are those episodes the most downloaded though of
course so that's actually you guys are listening you are the ones ingesting it you're clicking on it i don't know i it's a it's a scary industry a little bit to be in right now i agree and i think the other thing is is that there's a difference between you know somebody doing something genuinely bad right and something genuinely bad and having an intent that's like i actually i
like want to hurt people, you know, because that happens on the Internet. You know, you see people fuck up and do things that genuinely directly harm people. And they actually had the intent of harming people. Right. I never on my whole time on the Internet have ever posted something with the with a negative intent. Right.
Now, listen, if I do something that is perceived in a way where it's like, Emma, that's not right. And here's why. That's fine. I'm willing to like learn. I'm always open minded, you know, and I think constructive criticism. There's nothing wrong with it. This could have been perceived in a way that was offensive and hurtful. I totally get that. Then it's like, OK, we'll go from there.
And thank you for letting me know. Let's move on. Like, I didn't have that intent, but I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm so glad that you let me know. I'm so happy to do better next time and to be more aware of how this could be perceived wrong. But it's when people are like, oh no. You're done.
You're done because even though you had no idea what you were doing and even though it was a complete, complete 200% accident, you're still done because you made a mistake. That is such fucking uncharted territory. How are you supposed to predict? It's like, I could fucking put on deodorant in a video and I feel like at this point somebody's gonna be like,
you're offending people that don't want to wear deodorant. No, literally. You know what I mean? It's like, I understand that like you have to, if somebody does something wrong, holding them accountable is fair. And in some actually places, very good. I've learned so much from being on the internet and from people being like, Hey, when you talk about this, like this, that's not cool.
And I've been like, damn, I would have never known that. Otherwise. Thank you. Like truly, like I'm grateful for that, but it's when it's like, people twisting shit just for funsies and not giving me room to be like, it just discourages me and it just makes me, yeah, it makes me want to disappear, you know? How has your brand evolved?
When I first started on the internet in general, I was just kind of copying what all the girlies were doing. You know, I was like, okay, I'll talk about makeup and clothes and things like that. And then that wasn't really...
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Chapter 4: How does Emma deal with feeling used by others?
why like I've always kind of been afraid of getting into it is just because I'm like sexuality is also something that has ebbs and flows too like some moments you're like oh my god I'm on like a roll I'm just like hooking up with everybody and like I just whatever and sometimes you're like I literally can't remember the last time I felt like any kind of excitement about anything sexually like there's so many moments things are constantly evolving there but
I also think that I'm just not somebody where, actually let me rephrase, because I was a very late developer as a young person, and because I didn't get any attention from guys really for my,
appearance I definitely like became used to getting attention from what I was talking about and like what I was and how I was behaving and like that was what I started to lean into more because I was like well people don't I don't have boobies so like nobody's looking at me for my boobies so you know I have to figure out some other way to get attention and so that kind of became muscle memory where I was like well now I just feel like nobody's ever looking at me and is like
looking at me in a sexual way so in order to like get attention I just have to like utilize my personality and then hope that like through that somebody will be able to be attracted to me in a more sexual way like If they maybe like like me personality wise. So that's kind of what I became used to.
But it always made me feel shitty because I was like, I just don't think guys are looking at me and are like looking at me in a sexual way ever. And that fucked with me because I was like. But. But why? Like, you know what I mean? I was like, this sucks. And even now that I'm older and like I like my boob has grown like maybe like this much, like like a tiny little little tiny bit.
But now that I'm older, you know, it's like. Even though like that's not really as much of an issue anymore, it's still. there's a little trauma there, you know, where in the back of my head, I'm like, number one, I remember people always not believing that I was like, that I was somebody who preferred dating men, uh, which like fucked with me.
But then also like, I, uh, like have memories of like just guys not being attracted to me physically. And then on top of that, like, I'm also just not a super outwardly sexual person. Like, I never present myself in a very outwardly sexual way. I'm just not comfortable doing that. And I don't have – there's nothing wrong with doing that. I just – it's never felt right to me.
And I've always felt like, well, because I'm not an outwardly sexual person, like, does that make me less attractive too in some ways? You know what I mean? So – But, like, that's just – it's so interesting, though, because the perception of me is so interesting for me to, like, watch. Like, people are like – I've seen comments that are just like, there's just no way, like, Emma's ever had sex.
And I get it. But I get it. But then that fucks with me because I'm like, I get why they think that. So –
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Chapter 5: What gives Emma anxiety about public perception?
And I think it's also like, I'm thinking about like the sex I was having at 20. Like I'm excited for you because it's like at 20,
I was faking things and I was performing and I knew like I it was it was all a game to me because I was like if I do this then he'll be obsessed with me and then blah blah and it was all right it kind of all corresponded to like a bigger goal of mine not just like the immediate bedroom but I do think as you get older and again as you get to know yourself sexually you begin to like actually find things that you know you like and then it's not even about vanilla sex it's like
what works for you you can start to implement in the bedroom totally not like you're faking it but you have to actually find those things by yourself okay let's move on um case like i'm gonna what gives you the ick like i'm gonna do some rapid fire and then we're done i know this is going so long we need to go i know really go for six okay no no i know and i actually like I like that. I agree.
Dude, I think that also like is really, yeah, it's like real and it's not like jarring. I thought you were going to say something crazier. Then I was like, oh, that's a good answer.
Emma loves anal.
I'm kidding. That's the promo of it. Okay, I'm going to go rapid fire and then we're done. I'm ready. What gives you the ick?
With guys or in general? Oh, both. Okay. With guys, I get the ick when just like any kind of like cockiness and bragging and like trying to like...
signal that they're like successful to me this is not rapid fire with me nothing will ever be rapid fire with me i'm so sorry um being cocky and honestly when people like just have bad taste in like clothing and fashion i feel um not that i know around emma right now stop with my outfit i'm like no I'm not saying like, there's like a certain like, but they're like braggy about it.
So like being cocky about like having bad taste, that's really icky to me. It makes me have the ache every time. Is that you? That's not you. You're always hot.
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