[video available on spotify] it’s my birthday. i’m 24, which means i’m almost 25. which means my prefrontal cortex is almost done developing. in honor of my 24th birthday, i thought it'd be kind of fun to discuss all of the evidence of my prefrontal cortex nearing its final stages of development. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What does turning 24 mean for my brain development?
Happy birthday to me Happy birthday to me Happy birthday to me Happy birthday Oh, it's my birthday. Yeah, it is. I'm 24. Time flies. But you know what that means? I'm almost 25. And you know what that means? My prefrontal cortex is almost done developing. My brain is almost fully adult. If you don't know what a prefrontal cortex is, to be honest, I don't really know either.
I know it's a part of the brain. I don't exactly know what part it is. And that's kind of mortifying to admit for me, honestly, because I use the word, the term prefrontal. prefrontal cortex so often. It's like in my vocabulary and I don't really know what part of the brain it is. So let's read the definition together.
The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that controls higher order cognitive functions, including decision-making, planning, and personality. And And apparently, it's pretty much done developing by your mid-20s, approximately at age 25. So I'm almost a full-grown adult. And that's exciting because, you know, from what I've heard from the adults in my life,
Chapter 2: How does a fully developed prefrontal cortex affect decision-making?
Having a fully developed prefrontal cortex is pretty awesome because life in a lot of ways is sort of easier. Making decisions, planning things, coordinating things, those things are hard when you're younger. The older you get, the more developed your prefrontal cortex is, the more wisdom you have, the easier it is to deal with some of life's problems. And that's sort of a beautiful thing.
But it is also sort of terrifying to be approaching the end of the era where I can use the excuse that my brain isn't fully developed whenever I make a mistake. So, you know, I'm mourning that loss, but I'm also excited. I'm not afraid of growing up. And I think it's because of my parents' relationship to getting older, particularly my dad's.
He has reassured me throughout my life that getting older is an incredible thing. You know, he's 60 years old and he reminds me almost on a daily basis how much fun he's having. He's like, I'm having more fun now than I've ever had before. Seeing him living his best life every day, I'm like, I can do it too. We can all do it too.
Anywho, in honor of my 24th birthday, I thought it'd be kind of fun to discuss all of the evidence of my prefrontal cortex nearing its final stages of development. Within the last year or so, I've noticed a lot of maturation. See, even that word, maturation, big word. It's very clear that the prefrontal is just, it's hardening, you know?
I've noticed a bit of growing up and I think it's solid evidence that, you know, that frontal lobe is frontal lobing. You know what I mean? And so, I don't know, I thought I'd share with you all some of the results of my brain development. Like, you know, some of the things that have changed about me Without further ado, here is a list of all of the proof that my prefrontal cortex has developed.
Let's begin. Number one, partying, going to the club, going to a bar, these things are no longer as enjoyable for me. And to be honest, this is something I'm kind of sad about. Like I'm struggling with this one. Like I still try to go out sometimes and I really don't enjoy it, but I want to enjoy it.
Like I feel like I'm still young enough that I should be enjoying it and I'm not, but I like want to enjoy it. So I'm frustrated. But the reality is I don't enjoy it. I'm over it, to be honest. And I think why I'm so sad about that is because I never really had like a party phase, to be honest. I didn't go to college.
A lot of kids right after high school go to college and they party more nights out of the week than they don't. They're drunk all the time. It's a big party for like four years. And then they eventually, you know, grow out of it. I didn't go to college. I didn't have that experience. I moved straight to LA at age 17. And shockingly, I didn't party. I just didn't. And then...
When I was around 20, I really started partying, but not really in a club environment or a bar environment or even like a party environment, more so like at home with friends, you know, and that was fun. But like, I can count the amount of times I've been to a club on one hand, like, okay, maybe two hands. But that's not a lot.
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Chapter 3: Why is letting go of partying a sign of maturity?
I don't need to go hang out with other people or go to a cool party to fill my cup. And also too, I think I now have grasped the reality of most situations. It's very rare that an event will live up to expectation, you know, like the party, the hangout, the rock climbing adventure, like whatever it may be, like whatever you're missing out on is probably not that great.
You'll be able to have an experience that's just as good another time. You know, it's OK. You know, I think I've realized that over the years and as my prefrontal cortex has developed. OK, moving on. I don't want to wear cropped clothing anymore and I don't want to wear platform shoes. I don't know what it was about me as like a teenager or even a young woman in my early 20s.
I just I wanted every single shirt I wore to be cropped. and I wanted every single shoe I wore to be platform. And I feel like there's something about that that's so very much like prefrontal cortex is not fully developed, not in an insulting way, but it does feel very, at this point, sort of immature style-wise. I can't explain it. I'm not saying I never will wear a cropped shirt, okay?
I absolutely will. Like, that exists, but I don't need every shirt I wear to be cropped. And the same thing goes for the platform shoe. Like the platform Ugg boot is very popular right now. Like you walk through the streets of LA or New York and half of the people are wearing a platform Ugg boot, which I totally, that's totally fine.
Okay, but my point is like, I don't need to wear the platform Ugg boot. I like the original. Same thing goes for like a classic t-shirt. I don't need to wear a cropped t-shirt. I'm just going to wear one that's a normal length. You know, there are times in fashion where I'm like, wait a minute, this is a cool cropped shirt, you know, or like this is a cool... platform boot.
Like, sure it happens, but I'm just saying like, it used to be this thing of like every single shirt needed to be cropped. I'd buy a shirt, crop it immediately. Every single shoe needed to be platform. And now it's like, okay, no, we can wear, we can, we can wear normal length shirts. We can wear normal, um, you know, normal shoes. Do you know what I'm saying?
I don't know what it is about that in like late teens, early 20s. Like every girl in their late teens, early 20s loves a cropped shirt, loves a platform shoe. Go into a high school right now. You're going to see crop tops and you're going to see platform Converse and platform Ugg boots, okay? Count how many you see. This is not an insult. This is just the truth. I loved this. I was all about it.
I was there too. I just grew out of it for whatever reason. I don't know why. My brain has just decided it's done with that. And it was like so, it was such like a moment where I was like, wait a minute, what have I been doing? I don't want to do this anymore. It doesn't feel chic to me anymore. You know, it doesn't feel cute to me anymore. I don't like it.
Which actually leads me to my next piece of evidence that my prefrontal cortex is developing. My personal style is definitely maturing. You know, like I used to wear maybe brighter colors, trendier silhouettes. I was attracted to more like maximalist sort of things. And just for whatever reason that I can't even necessarily explain, it's almost like just something that has happened subconsciously.
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Chapter 4: What is FOMO and how has my perception changed?
Well, I guess sophisticated does sort of have more of a definition. So maybe I shouldn't have used that word. Maybe I should say chic because chic to me is much more subjective. Like what's chic to one person is not chic to another. And that is made clear whenever you go on TikTok or Reels and see people reviewing fashion. I will vehemently disagree with what people think is chic.
And I'll also disagree with what they think is not chic. You know, chic is definitely up for debate. What I think is chic has changed. I think it's a lot more consistent now. Like, I used to change my style a lot. And I still do when I go to events. But that's kind of different because that's not really as much my personal day-to-day style.
That's like me experimenting because I get to rent clothes for these events. So I get to like have fun and wear stuff that I don't have to commit to buying, you know? But my day-to-day style, what is in my own personal wardrobe that I own is really consistent, really simple, really timeless, and in my opinion, really chic and a bit more mature.
There's no way that my prefrontal cortex hasn't played a role in that. Moving on, this also sort of relates to fashion. I definitely am prioritizing comfort over aesthetics now more than ever. I have become really good at balancing fashion and comfort. Everything that you look at on me is, in my eyes, fashionable, but also physically comfortable for me.
There are a few times a year where I will prioritize aesthetics over comfort, and that is for the two or three major red carpet events that I do on a yearly basis. Other than that, it is comfort over aesthetics for me. For example, like my hair, I love my pixie cut. I love the way it looks. But more than anything, I love it because of how easy it is and how comfortable it is.
Having short hair is so comfortable. No hair on my neck. I don't know. I don't have to brush it. It doesn't get tangled. It doesn't feel heavy. It's so comfortable. I took my long acrylic nails off, or they weren't acrylic, but they were like extensions, Gel-X, whatever. I took my long nails off a few months ago because I'm learning how to play guitar.
And at a certain point, I was like, maybe at some point I'll get them back on. Maybe I'll do guitar for a month and then have long nails for a month, just because I loved having long nails so much. I always loved how they looked. But now that I have short nails again, I'm like, I don't know if I'll ever go back. Like even for red carpet events, I'm like, I don't.
It's so uncomfortable to have long nails. I don't think I ever want to have them again. Now I'm I'm so obsessed with comfort at this point in my life that I'm like, oh, I can't. You know, I wear a lot of loose clothes. And listen, people will say things about me like Emma looks like doesn't look hot. Emma is like, I don't know, like her clothes look like she doesn't look very feminine.
I don't give a fuck. Okay. I'm comfortable. And I still find a way to express myself fashion wise while being comfortable. You know, there's a few times a year where I can like wear something tight and the booties out or the boobies are out or whatever. Like it happens. And I would do it more if it wasn't physically uncomfortable. I don't like how it feels on my body. Sorry.
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Chapter 5: How has my personal style evolved with age?
And it can also cause an unhealthy dependency on one another where, you know, you don't want to do anything without that friend, and that's not healthy either. And I don't know. It's just... I think friendships like that are just... Those types of friendships, at least for me personally, are reserved for my teenage years and my early 20s. I will never have a friendship like that again.
And can I be honest? I'm overjoyed. I love... having friends at my yoga class that I only see at yoga, low maintenance friendships. I love, you know, my best friends that I text on almost a daily basis and I get dinner with, you know, every other week or so. And, you know, every once in a while we go on a trip or something, but it's like, we all get to have our own lives.
We all get to get work done. Nobody's expecting too much from the other. It's just healthier. Next, I almost have no drama in my life anymore. Now, listen, I still have drama, but like when I was younger, there was constant drama, like drama with who I'm dating, drama with my friend group, drama at like in my work life, you know?
And I mean, I guess this kind of is the same as me being like emotionally unstable in a you know, this is kind of the same thing, but it extends to like my personal relationships and stuff as well. I just don't have drama as much anymore. Again, there's always going to be drama here and there, but I'm out of it. You know what I mean? And I will say I do kind of love drama.
There's always been a little part of me that loves it. I don't like when I'm in it. And luckily for me, I'm in it less now than I've ever been before. And I'm happy. Okay. I don't want drama. occasionally I like to hear about a little bit of drama. Sure. But I don't want to be in it.
And I think, you know, part of growing up is being like, wait, I don't want to put myself into situations that are going to cause drama. So I'm going to avoid them. When you're younger, I think sometimes you can chase chaos. Like for example, I used to only have crushes on guys that didn't like me. Thought it was so hot. Oh, this guy doesn't like me. That's so hot. I have to have him. Or
Or I would date emotionally unavailable guys. They literally barely could give me the time of day. I was like, I'm obsessed. I'm addicted to this feeling. I love this. And I was fucking miserable. It was horrible, but it was sort of addicting. I was addicted to the drama. Same goes for friendship. I used to allow my friendships to become so intense and so...
we're this friend group and there's so many of us and we're all in this group and we all hang out every single day. And that was a recipe for disaster. And I knew that, but I didn't know how to not get into those friendships because that was the only type of at least female friendship that I'd ever had where it's like, we're all like sisters. We hang out every day. We talk every day.
We hang out every day. We're attached to the hip. We don't do anything without each other. And I knew deep down that that type of friendship, that structure of friendship caused drama, but I just kept getting into those types of friendships anyway. And that was a lot of drama. You know, there's always drama with that. Somebody would feel left out. Somebody would start to, you know, get grumpy.
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Chapter 6: Why is silence now more important to me?
I just think that there's too much noise when you're a kid to be able to fully appreciate the beauty of an animal. I don't know. I mean, maybe it's different for everybody. I think for me, I had to grow into it. I think for other people, it's probably like, I was born and I loved my horse, Emma. And I could speak to my horse from a very young age and you don't understand me.
Fine, but you get what I'm saying. Okay, I couldn't connect with animals fully until recently, really. Like I really just enjoy the moments that I have with my cats. laying in bed at the end of the day and doing work on my computer, my kitties coming and laying in my lap, you know, sitting on the toilet and like the kitties come and rub on my leg.
And it's like these little moments throughout the day, I just, I feel so connected to them. And it didn't always feel that deep to me. It's just my relationship with animals, I feel like is becoming deeper and even more meaningful than ever. And it's almost like I can hear them now. I don't know how to explain it. It sounds crazy.
Okay, I'm starting to sound... Let's move on before I say something else weird. Moving on, I'm much more responsible with money. I had such a bad shopping addiction as a teenager. And when I was in my early 20s, horrible shopping addiction, had to buy everything, bought everything all the time.
And what was interesting about my shopping addiction was that I wasn't addicted to buying expensive things. The price didn't matter. In fact, I was all about getting as much as possible for as less as possible, which is why I've always loved thrift shopping and vintage shopping and all of this. But I was also buying like little trinkets for my house or like little useful gadgets. I don't know.
I've always loved shopping. And the second I made my own money, it got really dangerous. And I just was buying, buying, buying, buying, buying all the time. And it was definitely somewhat financially irresponsible. I wouldn't say it was detrimental or deeply harmful because, again, I wasn't actually spending a lot of money. But now I'm so much more responsible with money.
I'm kind of doing incredible. I still buy things. I'm a human being. I still buy things, but compared to how I used to be, I'm doing much better. And what really made me realize that I was having a problem was just starting to feel fatigued by having so much stuff around all the time. I started to become really aware of the fatigue that stuff gave me and too many choices.
All of that was exhausting for me. And I think as my brain developed, I realized I can't justify this anymore. So I'm not going to do it anymore. Next. Oh, God, this one. This one. I'm scared to say it out loud, but I have to because it's true. I'm less scared of getting pregnant on accident. OK, hear me out. I don't want to get pregnant.
I am not going to get pregnant unless like my IUD falls out and I didn't know and I get pregnant. I am not planning on getting pregnant. I am very, very adamant about being on birth control, about preventing pregnancy in as many ways, safe, comfortable, healthy ways as possible. I'm all about it.
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