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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the voice that puts the fun in defun public broadcasting.
Chioki Ianson.
And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Chioki. Thank you, everybody. Thank you. We've got a fabulous show for you today. Later on, we are going to be talking to Amber Maycutt, known as the taxidermist to the stars. Now, among the many things we have already learned from her, stuffed animals are not actually stuffed. No, they're just trained to stand there very still.
We are always eager to hear your tricks of the trade, so give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, this is Matt calling from Auburn, Alabama. Hey, how are things in Auburn, home, of course, of the university, right? What do you do there?
I actually work at the Southeastern Center of Robotics Education. It's an outreach office where we work with teachers to help them get comfortable incorporating educational robotics into their classrooms.
Oh, okay. Now, I was worried because I thought that meant you taught robots, and I think, frankly, they're smart enough.
You are not the first person I've said that to that responded with that concern.
Really? Well, welcome to our show, Matthew. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, she's a stand-up comedian whose Peacock special, Love, Joy, is now available on JetBlue flights. It's Joyelle Nicole Johnson.
Hey, Matt. Do you fly JetBlue? Yeah.
I promise I will starting now. Yes.
Okay. Get your mental on.
Next, he's a writer for stage screen at something called Books and is also the co-host of the podcast Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone. It's Adam Felber.
Hello, Matthew.
Hey, Adam. And finally, making her debut on our panel this week, she's a TV writer who also plays Dungeons and Dragons on Dropout. She's making a feature film, even though nobody asked her to. Please welcome Rekha Shankar. So you're going to play Who's Chayuki? This time, Chayuki Iyanson filling in for Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from the week's news.
If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to go? As ready as I can be. Here we go. Your first quote is somebody celebrating a supermarket purchase. I just got approved for financing on a dozen. That was BuzzFeed actually talking about the record high price of what? Is that eggs?
It is eggs. Eggs have hit a record high price. They're expected to rise by at least 20% more this year. This makes grocery shopping so difficult. You have to go to, like, Stop and Shop for everything else and then hit Sotheby's for the egg auction. This week, the average price for eggs hit $7 a dozen. Well, you know what they say. If you want to make an omelet, you need generational wealth.
LAUGHTER I would just like to say that I don't relate to this because my boyfriend is a bougie egg buyer. So we've been paying like $80. Oh, really? Yes. Have you guys seen the Vital Farms eggs? Okay, a couple people know what I'm talking about. You must not have kids either. So those are at $11 now.
Well, what makes them worth $11? It's like orange yolk. Oh. The yolk is orange. As opposed to the sad gray yolks that we've been getting.
The sad yellow yolks.
Prices are up because there's a big shortage. It's due to bird flu, a lot of other things. And this is true. A lot of grocery stores are limiting each customer to just two cartons of eggs. And even worse, some are just selling Lucy's.
I feel like, am I nuts? Two dozen eggs per person seems reasonable as a little bit.
We were wondering, it's like people who walk in and go, just 24 eggs in one day?
How am I supposed to get through till tomorrow with only 24 eggs?
But admit it, you want them more now than you used to, don't you?
They're valuable. They're valuable, exactly. You just buy them and hold them, and I'm sure in a couple of years they'll be worth even more. All right, your next quote, Matthew, is from Timothee Chalamet.
I put on 20 pounds because, believe it or not, I was thinner than the guy.
Chalamet was talking about how he prepared for his role as what famous singer? Nobel laureate Bob Dylan. That's right, Bob Dylan. Despite appearing in the movie A Complete Unknown as Dylan with the physique best described as, when he took his shirt off, I was worried about him. Timothée Chalamet says he gained 20 pounds to play Bob Dylan. How can that possibly be?
Where is it?
Maybe he has like this amazing dump truck. He's never turned toward the camera.
Well, he's not special because I did the same thing to prepare for the role of me in the pandemic.
There you are. And everybody appreciated your dedication to the craft. The thing is, who thought you would have to gain weight to play a young Bob Dylan? His favorite food back then was cigarettes.
Oh, you missed his fat period. Yeah, when he was singing Tangled Up in Stew. Like a rolling scone. Yeah. The pant sizes, they are a-changin'. Lays, lady, lays. Stuck inside a mobility scooter. Memphis blues again. Blubber on the tracks. Anyway. This is the story of the Dairy Queen hurricane. Are you freestyling right now?
He is, yeah.
Oh, my goodness. Whether or not he did it, isn't this like a thing to get an award? Because isn't it true, right, that your odds of getting an Oscar are always increased if you had to make yourself either older or uglier to get the role? The denier factor. Right.
Yes, instead of hiring someone with the body type, they're like, no, Christian Bale must alone lose 4,000 pounds in one year and then gain them back the next year. Exactly right.
And instead of hiring an ugly chick, they was like Charlize Theron.
They're like, monster must be Charlize Theron. Give trolls work. Come on.
Really, when you think about it, it does seem unfair to the homely community.
We are thriving and we just need work.
All right. Here is your last quote. 51% of Americans suffer from psiety.
That was from a recent study that finds psiety is a growing problem. That is the anxiety that you're going to miss something when you do what? When you go to the bathroom?
Exactly right.
According to a new survey, 51% of people put off going to the bathroom for fear of missing something fun. This is why if I'm in the middle of like a great conversation, but I got to use the bathroom, I say, hey, everybody, let's take this to the toilet.
missing something fun. And is that based on experience? Like people coming back from the bathroom and being like, now they're having more fun. If you come back from the bathroom and people are having more fun than when you left, you're the problem. It's true.
And people start plying you with more drinks, right? To make you go again. Yeah.
I have a terrible bladder. Shout out to the terrible bladder community. And yeah, okay. I feel seen. And I'm just, I hate how long movies are now, right? Like there should be intermissions because like I had to pee right before Defying Gravity and Wicked. Like, holding your pee during that song is very terrible.
Yeah, when she hits that high note, everything releases. That's like, ah. And they stalled a good 20 minutes before that song actually got sung. So you were in pain, I'm betting.
Absolutely. Ain't that much Kegels in the world.
I feel like I have the opposite of anxiety. No, P-xiety. I said anxiety. You know what?
I'm going to stop. I want to hear your story. But anxiety is better.
It's better. It's a better name. It is better.
It is better.
I feel more confident when I go to the bathroom. That's my chill zone. That's where I do my connections or my wordle. I'm like in the zone in the bathroom. I gain strength. It's like, it's a confidence.
Right.
P-confidence. P-fidence.
Right. So you're not having P-xiety. You're having like P-yearning.
Yeah, I learned to pee.
You're like, this movie stinks, this party is awful, but soon I will be urinating. Yes.
And that's what I'm looking forward to.
I understand. I understand. And besides, you don't need to stop a conversation when you go to the bathroom. That's what FaceTime is for. All right. Jokey, how did Matthew do in our quiz?
No zeros, just ones. Hey! Matthew got all three right. Congratulations, Matthew. Thanks so much.
Thank you so much, Matthew. Bye-bye. Thank you.
Right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Joyelle, bad news for people who want to take advantage of the low fares and clean, austere aesthetic of Spirit Airlines. A new policy says they won't let you board if you appear to be too what? Pretty? I don't know. Close enough. I'm going to give it to you. The answer is sexy.
Yes. That's why I don't fly Spirit, Peter.
Exactly, you know? Laughter
And that's why I'm on Spirit all the time?
Spirit Airlines, this is true, has announced a you're not leaving the airport wearing that policy. You cannot board if you have a bare midriff or exposed breasts or buttocks or are wearing see-through clothes. This is unreasonable. If I could afford clothes, I wouldn't be flying Spirit.
What's the downside? Why don't you want sexy dressed people on a plane? What happens when that happens?
They have not explained that, but they believe it is distracting to other passengers.
What are the other passengers doing that's so important?
And here's the thing. You're sitting together in a tube. Having flown Spirit Airlines, the one thing you very much want while flying Spirit Airlines is to be distracted from the fact you're flying Spirit Airlines.
Yeah. You know who I think should be banned? What? People with open-toed shoes on the airplane.
Really? Dad, gross. By the way, you're also not allowed to have lewd or vulgar tattoos.
On Spirit?
Yeah.
Coming up, our panelists make some beer money in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Get more done with Grammarly. Download Grammarly for free at Grammarly.com slash podcast. That's Grammarly.com slash podcast. Find your push, find your power with Peloton at OnePeloton.com.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Chioki Ianson, filling in for Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Adam Felber, Rekha Shankar, and Joyelle Nicole Johnson. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Chioki.
Thank you, everybody. Thank you. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at WaitWaitNPR. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, Peter. Hi, who's this? Alexis from Chicago. Chicago? All right. Thank you.
What are the most of the amazing things to do here in Chicago? What do you like best? Oh, my favorite place is the Cultural Center, actually. It's that Tiffany Dome that does it for me. It's fabulous. That free museum right in the middle of downtown facing Millennium Park. There's an art installation there, yeah. It's fabulous. One of the many jewels of our city, for those of you who don't know.
What is the city paying you, Peter? Not enough. Well, welcome to our show, Alexis. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Choki, what is Alexis' topic?
Every day I'm hustling. Every day I'm hustling. Every day I'm hustling.
It's nice to make a little extra money in your side hustle, you know, like a lemonade stand or tax evasion. Our panelists are going to tell you about a unique side gig we read about in the news. Pick the one who's telling the truth and win the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Heck yeah. Heck yeah. Let's do it. Let's hear first from Joyelle Nicole Johnson.
Elaine Smalls of Decatur, Georgia, is royalty in her social circles. She's been adept in her life at an odd talent, returning anything, an ability that has earned her the moniker the take-back queen. Now you can hire Elaine for anything from returning an old laptop that conked out past its warranty to furniture your child destroyed. She doesn't even need a receipt.
Final sale isn't in her vocabulary. Her most popular service is her send-back special. For $20 and the price of an Uber, she will come to the restaurant you're eating at and send the food back that you do not like. She'll even teach you how to do it yourself. Baby steps. First, you learn to send back a dish because you didn't order it.
After just a couple of weeks, you'll be comfortable sending back dishes based on vibes alone. None of your friends will go to dinner with you anymore, but at least you're getting what you want. Her disclaimer, I only do this for large corporations. Mom and pop stores are safe from my cordial indignation.
When asked if she feels bad about taking advantage of corporations, her response, eat the rich. They can afford it.
A woman who is paid. To return or send back things you don't want when you don't have the gumption to do it, your next story of a little something on the side comes from Adam Felber.
You're a nerd on a date with a woman who's way out of your league. Who knows why she swiped right on you, but here you are. Worse, as you come back from the men's room, your date is being harassed by a huge scraggly-haired ruffian who is nearly twice your size. You act quickly, putting yourself between the interloper and your date.
You yell at him, warn him off, make karate hands, and give him a firm shove on his meaty shoulder. And somehow, miraculously, he backs off. Your date looks at you with newfound admiration. You're the hero! What she doesn't know is that her harasser is a 28-year-old Malaysian named Shazaly Suleiman, and you hired him for exactly this moment.
Yes, Shazaly is a self-proclaimed villain for hire, and he recently started advertising his services on Facebook with the pitch line, are you tired of your partner thinking you are weak? For a reasonable fee, I can help you prove him wrong. Although there are some obvious public disturbance risks involved, our entrepreneur insists it's all harmless. Quote, it's all an act like WWE.
No one gets hurt. I am the only loser.
A man who rents himself out so you can beat him up and impress your date. Your last bit of business comes from Rekha Shankar.
Every night is fight night for Ellen Walkman. In Conshohocken, Pennsylvania, school teacher Ellen Walkman is channeling her skills into a nighttime gig as a family judge. Someone who can come to your family's house and hang back on the walls like a chameleon until a fight breaks out and then she will say who was right. Like many teachers, she has a rigorous preparation process.
Before arriving to this job as a family judge, she asks the clients what color their walls are so that she can buy a shirt that blends into the walls to to the point that she's unnoticeable to the family. At one recent gig, Walkman explains how Uncle Joe and Aunt Doreen were having a pig roast, but no one wanted to clean up the carcass.
When it was time for her to settle the fight, she did what any good judge would do. I made them wrestle. Walkman says her new side gig has become quite lucrative, and outside of the odd brawl or two, she can decide any fight in 60 seconds or less. The secret? Always side with the mom.
All right, these are your choices. Somebody has come up with a pretty lucrative side hustle providing an unusual but it turns out much needed service. Was it from Joelle Nicole Johnson, a woman who will come to wherever you are and return the thing that you bought but now you do not want, including restaurant dishes.
From Adam Felber, a man who will show up and pretend to threaten you so you can pretend to beat him up so your date will be very impressed with your manliness or womanliness, whichever. or from Rekha Shankar, a woman who works as a family judge, who'll be at your house when a fight breaks out, she will leap in to decide who is in the right.
Which of these is the real story of a side hustle we found in the news?
Well, Choice B does just sound like dating in Chicago, and as a single person, I understand. But I think I'll have to go with Doyelle.
Oh, wait a minute. Okay. You thought that Choice B, that was Adam's story, right? You thought that sounded like dating in Chicago? Does this happen to you all the time?
It sounds very plausible, like somebody would do it. It sounds like it's already a scheme, but I will have to go with Joyelle.
All right. You're just going to pick Joyelle's story. Okay. Joyelle, of course, that is the story of the woman who will come to wherever you are and return what you do not want, no matter what they say about it. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone who knows a lot about this real story.
Most women would agree that it would be a huge turnoff, if not a deal breaker, to witness their boyfriend beating someone up.
no way yes way she gasped yes way it turns out adam was telling the truth as i tried to indicate he didn't want me to get a point she's a chicago and i was on her side but none i also know like i think your reaction to like the idea of like somebody hiring somebody to beat them up was like oh that's old hat i've seen that a million times i can't be the real
I've done it. It's no big deal. I'm not a new thing.
That's all right. Well, anyway, you have not won our prize, but you did win a story. Not only did you win a point for Joyelle, but I think you have endorsed a brilliant business idea.
Yes.
Because as I heard you describing it, I was like, I want to hire that woman today.
Absolutely.
Absolutely. Thank you so much for playing. Take care. Bye-bye, Alexis. Bye-bye. And now the game where we ask people about things they know nothing about. We call it Not My Job. Amber Maycutt grew up as a young woman in New Jersey with an odd interest, taxidermy. They thought she was crazy, but after years of work, she has now become, quote, the taxidermist to the stars.
We're delighted she's joining us now from her not-at-all-creepy studio. Amber Maycutt, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi. It's great to see you. You're appearing on our screens from your studio surrounded by some of your work, which is very impressive. First of all, we saw that you were called Taxidermist to the Stars. What exactly does that mean? How did you earn that title?
I guess that a lot of celebrities have bought stuff for me or commissioned work for me or I go to their houses and fix their taxidermy and hang it up for them.
Can you describe, without breaking any confidences, what the kind of work you've done for some of these people?
Let's see. So for Drew Barrymore, I did some framed butterflies to hang on the wall. And then for Amy Sedaris, I did a pheasant. And then for Adam Jones, he's the guitarist of Tool. I did a ram head with four horns on it and a goat head for the band Slayer.
I'm sure the goat heads are very popular with the whole heavy metal genre, right? They all need the goat heads.
Yeah, definitely.
I mean, I think people should understand this, that when we're talking about your taxidermy, for the most part, we're not talking about what they're thinking of, which is like, I don't know, a deer head, you know, mounted above a bar or in a cabin somewhere. Could you describe your work and what makes it special?
Sure. A lot of what I do is called anthropomorphic taxidermy. So it's kind of giving life human characteristics or activities to the taxidermy. So behind me here, I have like a raccoon cowboy. So it's a raccoon wearing a cowboy hat and a red bandana around his neck. And he's doing finger guns with his paws.
You know, I didn't look closely before, but I'm going to say that's exactly what that is.
Yeah? That one's actually for Justin Long and Kate Bosworth that's shipping to LA. And then the one next to it is actually a squirrel riding a horse, waving a cowboy hat. Cowboy theme happening here. And that one's for Maura Tierney, who's an actress from the show ER.
Yes, yes.
So that one was actually part of her personal collection, and it was an antique that was really worn down and the fur falling out. So I remounted the whole thing, so it's a fresh mount on the original horse with the original hat.
So I have so many questions. Let's just focus on Justin Long's raccoon with the cowboy hat and the finger guns.
Yes. So that one is probably one of my best sellers that went viral online. I made one once, and then I put it online in my online shop that people could just click and buy it, and then I just... Right.
So that was like your idea. It's like Justin Long's like, God, he saw that. He was like, I must have that. And so he could just stand in front of it in his own presumably palatial Hollywood home and just make little pew pew noises, right?
I guess so, yeah.
So you came up with it. Where did that come from? Were you like thinking about raccoons and going, you know what would make them even better?
Oh, geez. I don't know. I write down things in the middle of the night sometimes that make no sense at all. So who knows?
Do you have, can I ask, some people come to you now with commissions, right? They say, we want this.
Yep.
Can you tell us the weirdest thing you've been asked to do?
Oh, geez. I don't know. Nothing seems weird anymore, right? Sometimes I have to pause and wonder if I'm getting trolled or people are messing with me or if this is a serious request or not. But sometimes people will send in photos of people or be like, can you make a mouse look like my boyfriend? And send photos of their boyfriend.
Can you make a mouse look like their boyfriend? yeah like make different you know their outfit basically and like records that they like they're holding and it was rat boy summer recently is there like the taxidermists have like their own aesthetic like what what makes a great taxidermy what do you what do you even call it a great work of taxidermy yeah a mount a good mount a good mount thank you
the taxidermy is if you see like the mannequin behind me on the one side so this is a himalayan goat on one side that's mounted with the skin on it already and the one on the other side is just a mannequin with just a form so it's an anatomically correct mannequin to that specimen how do you get anatomically correct models of animals or do you make them
So there's taxidermy supply companies, dozens of them in the US, where you can order your deer mannequin or skunk mannequin. And then you basically, it's kind of tailoring in reverse. You whittle down your mannequin or build up your mannequin to custom fit it to your skin. And then you use glass eyes that are also anatomically correct to the specimen, to the millimeter, a wire for the tail.
And then you do your kind of clay for musculature and sculptural work. and sew it up, do your hair and makeup, do airbrushing, painting. So there's a lot, it's a lot of sculpture.
Yeah.
This is how I get ready in the morning, too.
You're just basically a polyethylene core.
There's tons of molds.
I mean, obviously, you're so deeply invested in this. I, myself, growing up in a different part of New Jersey, I have a problem with stuffed animals. Because I'm one of those people who, for example, you're in a room right now where there are a bunch mounted on the wall behind you, heads and eyes looking. Whenever I look away, I assume they're moving their heads to stare at me.
And I turn and I look back and they're immediately still again. I find it discomforting to be near all those completely still animals. It's creepy.
Thanks for having me on, then.
Oh, you're welcome. It was an act of courage on my part. Thank you. Well, Amber Maycott, we have invited you here to play a game we're calling They're Alive. So as we have been discussing, you specialize in putting deceased animals recreated in people's homes. So we thought we'd ask you about three instances of live animals getting in there. Get two out of three right.
You will win our prize for one of our listeners. Are you ready to play? Sure. All right. Chioki, who is Amber Maycott playing for? Larry Gold of Minneapolis, Minnesota. All right. Minnesotans here. Here's your first question. An Australian family was surprised when a koala got into their house, especially because it took them a little while to notice it. Where was it?
A, on their couch next to a throw pillow with a koala printed on it. B, hanging on their Christmas tree as if pretending to be an ornament. Or C, sitting on top of their ceiling fan until that is they turned the ceiling fan on.
No. All of the above.
Yeah. They get around. I'm going to go with A. You're going to go with A, that it was on their couch next to a koala throw pillow. And they were like, oh, I guess we have two koalas. Oh, you pick it up because you're choosing B, hanging on their Christmas tree?
I guess so.
That's right. Oh, wow. Nice. It was like hanging on the Christmas tree. They like trees. It makes sense, all right? Good. All right. Next question. Some people actually welcome wild animals into their homes, including some surprising people. Like which of these?
A, Britain's King Charles, who not only lets red squirrels into his Scottish estate, but leaves jackets hanging on chairs with nuts in the pockets for them to find. B, Jamie Foxx, who has a deal with local animal control for them to bring any captured foxes, naturally, to his house. Or C, Peyton Manning, who learned to imitate six different mating calls so he could attract animals to his patio.
I'll go with A. You can go with A. Britain's King Charles, you're right. Yeah. He loves those red squirrels. He says, sometimes when I leave my jackets on a chair with nuts in the pockets, I see them with their tails sticking out as they hunt for nuts. They're incredibly special creatures. I just thought of a great gift you could send him.
Not? Yeah. Yeah, that's true.
All right. Last question. You're doing very well. It's not just houses that can have trouble with wildlife. A high school in Little Rock had a bat infestation but dealt with it quickly and decisively. Just by doing what? A, changing their mascot from the running rebels to the fighting bats. B, enrolling the bats as students, which allowed them access to state funds to get rid of the bats.
Or C, just ceding control of the school to the bats and making all classes remote for a while. Yeah. C. Yes, exactly right. It took them about four days to clear out the bats and clean up everything and bring the students back. Joki, how did Amber do in our quiz?
Amber got three taxidermy finger guns.
She is a winner.
That's great. Before you go, do you have any projects you're particularly looking forward to?
Oh, I don't know. I like them all. I love them all.
You do. You have no favorites. among your many, many animal friends. Amber Maycutt is a taxidermist to the stars and the founder of Brooklyn Taxidermy. You can see her work at brooklyntaxidermy.com. I recommend it highly. Amber, well, thank you so much for being on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. In just a minute, Chokey puts on a chunky cable knit sweater and steals your heart.
In our Lesser Limerick Challenge, call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. This message comes from Peloton. Offering what you need to keep you on track to your goals no matter what season of life you're in with a variety of classes and the ability to challenge yourself anywhere with Peloton's all-access membership.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Shioki Ianson, filling in for Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Rekha Shankar, Joyelle Nicole Johnson, and Adam Felber. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Shioki. Thank you, everybody. In just a minute, we try out the hot new thing everyone is talking about, limericks. If you'd like to play, give us a call. 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from the week's news. Adam, an Iowa lawmaker introduced legislation to protect citizens of that state from what grave danger? Tidal waves.
You're close. It's a coastal phenomenon? It is very much a coastal phenomenon. Oceanic phenomenon, usually. Tsunamis. No. Big waves. No, it's something you find in the ocean, not the ocean itself. Sharks. Yes. Yes. An 18-inch shark bit an employee at a private aquarium in Des Moines, so some legislators reacted by trying to make petting sharks illegal. Sounds like victim-blaming to me.
Nobody's going to arrest the shark. The new law would have made it illegal to allow a member of the public to pet a shark and also incurred steep fines for allowing your shark off-leash when you're not at the shark park. I agree with that last part. Yeah, I know. I hate it when you go to just a public park, regular place where kids are, and people are letting their sharks just run around.
Just run around everywhere.
Come on.
Yeah. They let their shark go next to your shark without asking, is my shark friendly? Yeah, exactly.
Because maybe my shark isn't friendly. Maybe my shark is the one that needs to be on the leash. Yeah, totally.
By the way, if you're curious what kind of shark is only 18 inches long, it's called a fish. Sir, you got bit by a fish.
No, no. Dude, it was a shark. It was crazy. It was a shark so big.
It was like, oh, yeah. Rekha, this week we learned an effective and new way to flirt that scientists claim is very effective. All you have to do is go up to someone and do what?
Give them a little wink.
Nobody ever thought of that before.
It's a good guess, though.
Ask for a hint.
Wait a minute. I have a novel idea.
Can I have a hint? Oh, you're asking me for a hint? Are you flirting with me? Which is a hint.
Okay. Asking a question.
I'll give it to you. Asking for help. That was an evil laugh.
I'm, like, imagining, like, I'm, like, fell down bleeding. And I'm, like, can you help me? And they're, like, you're flirting.
Could you get me out of this well? I'm married. Yeah. No, apparently they say the best way to flirt with someone to attract their attention and possibly their interest is to ask for help. That's why they made jars so tight, people. You've got to pick the right question, though, the right request for help. There's a difference between, oh, hey, what's the way to the subway?
And what's the best way to keep my two wives from finding out about each other? There are kinds of asking for help that probably don't work with that.
Like what wouldn't work? Is this a rash or something else?
The first thing I thought of was going to a doctor's office.
Do that at the dog park? Yeah, all the time at the dog park. When I'm walking my shark. Can you help me hide this body?
Adam, the World Monuments Fund lists historic sites that are endangered by development or climate change, things like that. This year they added what surprising place to their watch list? Mount Rushmore. No, I'll give you a hint. Maybe they think it is really made of cheese and it'll go moldy? The moon? The moon! The moon? Good news, they're trying to protect the moon.
Bad news, we're about to screw up the moon. Wait, oh, is this so that we can't run little missions there and build domes and stuff? Well, sort of.
The idea is, yes, space tourism is getting closer and closer to reality, and it's not the World Monuments Fund that's worried about the moon itself, but they want to protect the sites on the moon that memorialize human activity, you know, that we left there when we landed.
That includes footprints, of course, the famous footprints of the moon, the abandoned equipment we left there, and even the astronauts' trash and, yes, their poop. Right?
We want to preserve that.
We do. It's fossilized. Oh, no. It's just pretty much, I believe, because of the lack of organisms and such, exactly as we left it. Fresh as a daisy. Oh, wow.
So if we ever need to clone Buzz Aldrin.
Yeah, pretty much. Big moon, stay away from my window.
I don't want to see you tonight.
Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago and come see us on the road. We'll be at the Walt Disney Theater in Orlando, Florida on March 20th.
For tickets and information to all our live shows, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, this is Claire Ijen from Tacoma, Washington.
Well, how are things in beautiful Tacoma? I've been there. It's a great place.
It's great. It is very cold.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, but I'm seasonably dry, which is maybe okay.
That's okay. You know, it's a beautiful place. I'm assuming you spend a lot of time outdoors. Everybody does there. What sort of things do you love to do?
I've got a one-year-old, so keeping busy with him, and I'm trying to get back into running.
I see. You know what's fun to do is just give them a little head start. Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, Claire, welcome to the show. Chioki Ianson is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to play? Yep. Here is your first limerick.
Dino upchucks, more rare than a comet. It's so ancient, we ought to embalm it. Food from the seafloor. We're wretched up on the shore. We have found some old dino sharks.
Vomit? Yes, vomit. Museum officials in Denmark announced this week that an amateur fossil hunter has discovered 66 million year old vomit. Scientists say that the petrified puke dates back to the time of the dinosaurs, most likely a freshman dinosaur during orientation. Welcome to Jurassic Barf.
This fossil consisted of parts of an animal called a sea lily, and scientists were able to confirm the sample was in fact vomited out because it was found next to two other fossils, a predator and another predator that held the first one's hair.
That's a good friend.
Look, I've got two kids. I've seen a lot of vomit. Yeah. If you petrified that, I don't know how I would be able to distinguish it from any other rock.
No, they found the little parts, and they were able to examine the parts and realize that those parts had been digested. There were chemical signs.
The chemical signs.
Yeah, chemical signs.
All right. Here is your next limerick. Billy Crystal seems merry and pally, though in rom-coms he'd tarry and dally. We'll channel his passion by aping his fashion, the look from...
When Harry Met Sally?
Yes, indeed. Very good. According to fashion experts, the hot new look for winter is the bulky sweater worn by Billy Crystal in the movie When Harry Met Sally. Because what says I am young and trendy like something a 76-year-old man wore 37 years ago? LAUGHTER
Okay, so my friend was on SNL and she took me there to go see an episode, right? I had to go to the bathroom and she comes in and she was like, you have to leave the bathroom because Billy Crystal needs to use the bathroom. And I was like, what? And he opens the door and my pants were half down and he was like, I'm sorry, I gotta pee. So Billy Crystal saw me with my pants down.
Okay. It's your girl.
Yep.
Now that's a way to flirt. Exactly.
I don't think of that sweater as a good look, but apparently people do. It's come back. That sweater was the look of like, okay, we're going to have him play a romantic lead, but look at that guy.
I think ugly is like in now. Let's hope.
But I'm going to tell you, as a regrettable heterosexual, it is very sexy when men wear chunky sweaters. Really?
Really? To me, yeah. I like a man who's practical, so I like it. Yeah. You know, they're safe.
They look warm, you know, cuddly. Our focus group of two agrees, Peter. They're ready to go lobstering at any moment.
Here is your last limerick. Though my loafer's a trusty work steed, its soul has more torque than I need. It's flexing its muscles. These tassels can tussle. It's made for endurance and...
Speed. Speed, yes. New Balance, Puma, and Hoka are all offering the hottest new trend in footwear, speed loafers. Basically, the shoe is a loafer on the top, but a running shoe on the bottom. It's not athleisure, it's athbusiness. It's a look that says, this guy is ready to run, but he physically can't.
It's an oxymoron. Speed loafers. It's an oxymoron.
It is.
It's like a pillow with wheels. Make up your mind.
Are you loafing or are you moving? This is for the people with peasiety or whatever, because they're peeing and they're like, wait a minute, I gotta go see what's done with Great British Bake Off right now.
They're loafing at speed, yes. Choki, how did Claire do in our quiz? With all three right, Claire has got the rhymes. Congratulations. Well done.
Yeah, Claire. Thank you.
Thanks so much for playing. Take care. Thanks so much.
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Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players left 60 seconds in which to answer as many Fill in the Blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Chioki, can you give us the scores? Joyo and Adam have three. Rekha's got two.
Ew. Okay.
So that means, Rekha, you're in second place all by yourself. So the clock will start when you begin your first question. Fill in the Blank. On Wednesday, electric car company Blank announced it fell short of earnings estimates.
Tesla.
Right. This week, coffee giant Blank began taking steps to eliminate 30% of its menu.
Folgers? Starbucks is what I meant to say. Don't think about the person.
This week, officials in Uganda confirmed an outbreak of blank in that country.
Oh, bird flu?
No, Ebola. This week, a 71-year-old man in Japan who robbed over 60 houses explained to police that he only did it because blank. He was bored? I'm going to give it to you. He wanted to look cool. According to a new study, frequent blank use affects your memory. Vape? No, marijuana. On Monday, the Louvre announced they were creating a dedicated room for Da Vinci's blank.
Mona Lisa?
Yes. This week, a man in Georgia was trying to get a refund after he ordered a drill online and instead received blank.
A toaster.
A piece of paper with a picture of a drill printed on it.
Incredible. Yes.
The man was shocked when the drill he ordered from Ali Express arrived, and inside the box there was just a piece of paper with a printed picture of a drill on it, and if that weren't bad enough, all the little printed pictures of the drill bits it came with were in metric. Oh. Oh. Joki, how did Rekia do for the first time on our quiz?
Rekia got four right for eight more points.
Thank you so much.
She now has ten points and the lead.
Ew. Wow. With no one else going, I have the lead.
We can end it right here. All right. I'm going to randomly pick Joyelle to go next. Here we go, Joyelle. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the confirmation hearings began for blank, Trump's pick to lead the Department of Health and Human Services.
Ugh, RFK Jr.
Right. According to officials in Massachusetts, blank flu is now widespread in the state.
Bird.
Right. On Tuesday, a White House spokesman confirmed that the blanks seen over New Jersey were in fact normally approved by the FAA. The diners. No, the drones, but they do have diners. They have diners in New Jersey, but they're not floating yet. In what they're calling, quote, a bold new identity, Athletics Australia announced they were changing their name to blank. The koala bears.
Australian Athletics. Okay. On Thursday, Fox confirmed it was charging up to $8 million for ad spots during the blank. Inauguration? The Super Bowl. Oh. On Thursday, it was announced that Stevie Wonder and Billie Eilish had been added as performers at the Blank Awards. The Grammys? Right. This week, the Johnstown Flood Museum in Pennsylvania announced they were closing indefinitely due to Blank.
Shark poop. Flooding.
Okay.
A burst pipe led the Johnstown Flood Museum to announce they were closing down indefinitely, fortunately. Most of the artifacts and historical documents were unaffected by the flooding, which mainly caused damage to the carpeting and drywall, but you can learn all about that at the newly opened Johnstown Flood Museum Flood Museum. Jokey. How did Joyelle do in our quiz?
Joyelle got three right for six more points. So with a total of nine, Rekha still leads.
That's crazy. to you for the Jones one. Thank you. All right.
I did that for her. I know. How many then does Adam need to win? Four. He's going to win. No, here we go, Adam. This is for the game. On Tuesday, stocks plummeted after the release of DeepSeek, the new Chinese blank platform. AI. Right. On Wednesday, Donald Trump announced plans to detain 30,000 migrants at blank. Guantanamo Bay. Right.
This week, eight hostages were released from captivity in blank. Gaza. Right. On Monday, a new lawsuit alleged that one of the wildfires in blank was started by a spark from a utility tower.
California.
Right, in Los Angeles. This week, a woman in Alabama won free donuts for a year from her local Krispy Kreme by blanking. Eating a dozen donuts at Krispy Kreme. No, by giving birth in their parking lot on Monday. That's all I got to do? Really, that's all we'll take. On Monday, the city of Osaka in Japan announced the citywide ban on blanking. Hugging. Smoking.
On Wednesday, NASA warned of a new blank that could hit the Earth in 2032. Asteroid. Right, after a homeowner in China refused to sell his house so the government could build a highway, the Chinese government compromised and blanked. Built a highway around him. Exactly right. Yes, they just built the highway on both sides of his house. So his house is like on this little tiny median.
Apparently the guy wanted more money for the house, so he refused to sell and the government said, okay. And they just built the highway around him. Four lanes coming up, splitting in two, going around his house and rejoining again. It's a classic case of my way is the highway. Convenient. Jokey, did Adam do well enough to win? Oh, yeah.
You're fancy.
With a total of 15 points, Adam is this week's winner.
Yes, Adam!
Well done. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists, now that eggs are too expensive, what will be the next surprising breakfast staple? But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeker writes...
Our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Liederman, composer. Our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. Our tiny Tim is tiny Peter Gwynn.
Our jolly good fellow is Hannah Anderson, Emma Choi. is our vibe curator, technical directionist from Lorna White, our CFO is Colin Miller, our production manager is Robert Newhouse, our senior producer is Ian Chilog, and our executive intern is Colin Campbell. And the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me, that's Michael Danforth.
Okay, panel, now that the eggs are so expensive, what will be the surprising new breakfast food? Joelle Nicole Johnson.
It's a delicacy in our home state, Peter, a knuckle sandwich. When you get knocked out for thinking a billionaire cared about the price of eggs.
And Rekha Shankar.
Yes. The new breakfast staple is Beanie Babies. People thought they were going to be worth a lot, and then they were totally worthless, except now as your breakfast food, and they're proteinaceous too.
And Adam Felber. I don't know how it hasn't happened in this country already, but Cadbury Egg McMuffins. Yes.
Yes.
And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
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