Peter Sagal
Appearances
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Urban wandering in which people just barge their way through whatever they want because I guess they can. Your next word from the wild comes from Roy Blunt Jr.,
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Adventure catting, the new trend of taking your cat with you when you go out into the great outdoors. Your last inside scoop from the outside comes from Hari Kondabolu.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
All right, so here are your choices. One of these things is going on somewhere outside. Is it from Dulce Sloan, urban wandering, where people just sort of wander through people's property and yards just because, you know, it's there. From Roy Blunt Jr., adventure catting, where people are doing the typical outdoor things, hiking, paddle boarding, but bringing their cats.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Cats, or from Hari Kondabolu, Combat Golf, a new variation on the ancient Scottish game in which you can try to keep your opponent from hitting the ball by hitting him first. Which of these is the real story of a new outdoor activity?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Adventure catting. All right. That is your choice. Do you believe Roy is telling the truth? Well... Here is someone who has first-hand experience with this particular activity.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
That was Nicole Alcain talking to Oregon Public Broadcasting about her experience adventure catting. Funny, they never get the cats on tape talking about it. Congratulations, Kelly. You got it right. You earned a point for Roy. You have won our prize, the voice of your choice in your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing, and enjoy the holidays with your son home from England. Take care.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
And he's a comedian whose newest special, Vacation Baby, is available on Hulu and YouTube. It's Hari Kondabolu. Hello.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Bye-bye. And now the game we call Not My Job. Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone have been married for 19 years. And in that time, they have written, produced, directed, and or starred in six films together, including The Boss and Thunder Force. And that is apart from the other movies Melissa has starred in, like Bridesmaids and Can You Ever Forgive Me? And yes, also they produced two children.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Their latest project is a podcast called Hildy, The Barback, and The Lake of Fire. Melissa and Ben, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. So, let me start here. I always wonder this. You guys have been at the height of Hollywood fame and power. You have your own production company. Melissa, you've been nominated for two different Oscars. Why throw that all away to do a podcast?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
And he's a writer and humorist whose delightful substack is Take Another Little Piece of My Heart Now. It's Roy Blunt Jr. Hey, how you doing? Welcome. So, Melanie, welcome to our show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
We read this that when you perform this thing this fantasy thing you're wearing costumes even though no one can see you. Is that true?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
That's true. Definitely. We read that you have a remarkable collection of costumes and wigs in your home. Is that the case?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
So do the costume parties have a theme that's a non-Christmas theme?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Right. I read, by the way, and by the way, I read a lot of this in an incredibly elaborate People magazine chronology of your entire relationship, which I guess is a cool thing to have out there in the world. Does that exist? It does. It does. It starts when you were both teenagers in Illinois, and it extends to the present day.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
And one of the things it mentions is that you, both of you, once went to an Oscar after party wearing velour tracksuits, and people got mad.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Now I'm like, oh, I felt like I cracked the code. Sure. Speaking of that timeline of your relationship, you guys met as teenagers here in Illinois, right? You both grew up here.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Any voice from our show you might choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Moving on, the People Magazine timeline of the marriage of Ben and Melissa. You saw each other, or at least Ben, you saw Melissa, but you actually met doing like an improv comedy group in LA, famously the Groundlings. Do you remember, Melissa, if like what caught your attention about Ben?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Really? Really. Interesting way to break your fast, call in to a news quiz. It's broadcast nationally. All right. Now, your first quote comes from Senator Chuck Schumer. What the heck is going on? Senator Schumer was one of many people asking that question about what mysterious things in the sky over New Jersey. Oh, the drones. The drones.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Well, Melissa and Ben, it is a real pleasure to talk to you, and we've invited you here to play a game we're calling... Melissa and Ben meet Melissa and Doug. Melissa and Doug. Since you're parents, you might know that that is the company founded in 1988 by Melissa and Doug Bernstein to sell traditional wooden toys. We're going to ask you three questions about this company and its products.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Answer two of them correctly, you'll win our prize. One of our listeners, the voice of whomever they like from our show... Bill, who are Melissa and Ben playing for?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
All right, here's your first question. Although they eventually became very famous and successful for their wooden puzzles and play sets, their first big product, Melissa and Doug, was what? A, a half-hour-long VHS videotape that encouraged kids to make friends by playing the kazoo. B, a blank block of wood and a chisel sold with the name Imagination Play Set.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Or C, a, quote, anti-war toy that was a flower you could stick in the barrel of other kids' toy guns.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Well, that was very collaborative. Yes, A. You're right. It is A. The video is called... You on Kazoo, it did not sell well, so they moved on to actually making toys, but you can see it online because it went viral in the 2000s, and it is terrible. Here's your next question. In 2023, Melissa and Doug sold their company to a billion-dollar toy conglomerate called Spinmasters.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
But even that giant company had humble beginnings. What was Spinmasters' very first toy? A, a box of cereal rebranded as a food fight kit. B, a short yo-yo called Yo with a string so short it just dangled. Or C, Earth Buddies, which was a nylon sock stuffed with sawdust and grass seeds.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
You're both drawn to C, and you're both correct. It was... Really successful. They sold thousands of them and went on to great things. All right, here's your last question. These days, their most popular products, Melissa and Doug, include play sets that allow kids to pretend they're doing adult things, including a get well doctor activity center that is so realistic, it even includes what?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
A, a real working x-ray machine. B, a credit card swiper for when your insurance doesn't cover the visit. Or C, an exam table with stirrups. What?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
This is fascinating. I think it's an amazing sort of glimpse into your working process. So Ben, you're picking A, which was the real working x-ray machine. Melissa, you're picking C, the exam paper.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
All right. Now we see how the movie gets made. All right. Yep. So you're both choosing. Ben, you're following Melissa's lead and going to see the exam table with stirrups. It was actually B, the credit card swiper.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
For weeks now, people in New Jersey have been seeing what they say are car-sized drones, sometimes by the dozens, floating in the sky, and people want answers. And after many, many demands, finally President Biden said, quote, there's nothing nefarious, apparently. Hey, quick thought, if you're trying to calm people down, don't use the word apparently. LAUGHTER
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
The detailed medical play set is supposed to, quote, ease kids' fears of doctor's visits, unquote, including the part where the insurance company refuses to cover the visit, I guess. Bill, how did Melissa and Ben do in our quiz? Well, they did great.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Congratulations. Yay! You've won. You can now change into your track suits to be comfortable at the after party. We don't mind. Ben Falcone and Melissa McCarthy are the husband and wife duo behind Lemonada's hit podcast, He'll Be the Bar Back on the Lake of Fire. You can listen to all of season one wherever you might get your podcasts. Melissa and Ben, thank you so much for joining us.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
And wait, wait, don't tell me. We'd like to meet you. Take care. Bye-bye.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
In just a minute, Bill offers a delicious beauty tip that will give you that medium-rare look in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT for Jonas in the Air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Thank you, Bill. Thanks so much, everybody. In just a minute... Bill wants you to simply have a wonderful Christmas rhyme. Aw, and our listener, Limerick Challenge, if you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But first, it is time for a game we call... Doctor's Thought. The news was filled recently with stories about doctors thinking...
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
They had the diagnosis right only for it to turn out to be something else. So we're going to ask you to fill in the blank rapid fire style on some of these headlines about what doctors thought. Get yours right. You get a point. So what we'll do is we'll just ask you to take your best guess as what the blank is. Here we go. First one's for you, Hari.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Fill in the blank on this headline from the Telegraph newspaper. Doctors thought I blanked a koala. I birthed a koala. No, it was doctors thought I got chlamydia from a koala.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
I thought they got vaccinated. Didn't they come up with a vaccine for that? They did, but the koalas, they still got it. Turns out that this particular patient just had pneumonia. Apparently, as you indicate, chlamydia is very common in koalas. It's really easy to catch it from them. At least that's what that koala told me when she turned me down for a date.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Dulce, full in the blank on this headline from the Washington Post. Doctors thought she had a deadly disease, but she was just allergic to blank. Talking to men. No. The real headline was doctors thought she had a deadly disease, but she was just allergic to her own tattoo. Roy, fill in the blank on this headline. From the Telegraph, doctors thought she was pregnant with twins, but it was blank.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
No. No. You went the other way. The real headline was a doctor's thought she was pregnant with twins, but it was just one giant baby. Thank you for playing doctor's thought because remember malpractice makes mal perfect. And now some questions about the rest of the week's news. Roy, this week a new study found that what has five times as many germs as toilet seats?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
It's not a food thing. It's a thing that a lot of people have in their homes on a seasonal basis, and this is the season.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Christmas tree. Something on your Christmas tree. Oh, well, a little bulb. Yeah, Christmas ornaments. What? Yeah. Oh. It's the most filthy time of the year. Because they are handled so often and never washed, Christmas ornaments can be one of the germiest things in your house. Huh.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
So for a safer holiday, you can either disinfect the decorations as you put them on the tree or go the easy route and start putting all your presents underneath the toilet bowl. Oh, yeah.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
It's true, but then you never clean them. So over years, you know, all that grime and hand stuff gets all over them.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Hari, a group of entrepreneurs in Russia is offering to take some of the work out of the holiday season, offering what for sale to anyone who wants it on the Internet for up to $50 a pair? That means there's two of them. There's two of them.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
I'll give you a hint. Some of them come in a package deal with a carrot and a corn cob pipe.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
That is six. What? They're selling snowman hands. Russian online marketplaces are flooded with ads for artisanally plucked natural snowman arms with prices ranging from about $5, and basically those are just sticks, to $50 for, well, those are also just sticks. The ad for the $50 pair reads, we have a super offer, new, shiny, creative hands for your snowman.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Your snowman will become a star and your neighbors will definitely envy you, unquote.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Well, no, no, they won't because the last thing you wanna do is cross Russian arms dealers. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago and come see us on the road.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Check back in the new year for upcoming road shows near you. For tickets and information, go to nprpresents.org. And you can also check out our sister podcast, How to Do Everything. This week, Mike and Ian make me taste some new eggnog recipes. And I barely escaped with my life. Hi, you were on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
A beautiful and cultured town. I love it there. What do you do for fun?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Maybe the aliens have a particular interest in New Jersey. Maybe, like, for respiration instead of oxygen, they breathe hair gel.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Oh, yeah. They have those there.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Do you take your cat when you hike around the lakes?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Sure, absolutely. For you, if not the cat. Well, welcome to the show, Becky. Bill Curtis is going to perform for you three news-related limericks with a last-word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last-word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you will be a winner. You ready to go?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Yes. From your dog. Dog fur knitting is back, baby. According to a new op-ed after its initial heyday in the 90s, people are once again collecting their dog's hair, spinning it into yarn, and knitting it into disgusting little sweaters. Why stop there, you know? Why not collect all your dog's drool and throw it in your Brita? Ha ha!
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
People advocating for dog hair garments argue it's warmer than sheep's wool. And also, animal shelters just don't have any sheep. You can also collect all the material you need by sitting on any dog owner's couch. Wait, this was a trend in the past? This is a trend in the 90s, and it's come back, making sweaters out of your dog hair. You take the dog hair, you collect it, brush it out, whatever.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
You have to spin it into yarn, and then you knit a sweater. And nobody will know that you're wearing clothing made out of dog fur unless, of course, you wear it in the rain.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Noodle. Yes, Noodle. Move over, Rat Boys. The new Hollywood heartthrob archetype is Noodle Boys. Actually, stay there, Rat Boys. A lot of you are the same people. We're talking about these floppy-haired, wispy-armed Hollywood stars like Timothee Chalamet and Finn Wolfhard, who I refuse to believe is not a character from the Flintstones. Ha!
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
According to the New York Times, our pop culture fixation has moved away from men who look like they spend hours in the gym to men who look like they've just coughed up blood into a handkerchief.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Last summer, we were told that all the guys were into Rat Boys, who were these sort of vaguely feral, I guess, looking guys.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Yeah, basically, whatever Timothee Chalamet looks like now, that's the trend, right?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Beef, yes. According to the New York Times, more and more people are turning to beef tallow. That's beef fat. It's a cheap and natural alternative to commercial skin care products. So stop shopping for skin care at Sephora. Start shopping at the dumpster behind a Ruth's Crits steakhouse.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Users claim slathering pure beef fat on their faces makes their skin look nourished and gives them that fresh-off-the-grill glow. So it's dog hair and beef tallow. Basically, yeah.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Congratulations, Becky. Well done. We still cheer for Becky. Is this okay? We cheer for Becky. Congratulations and thanks so much for playing. Thank you. This was fun. Bye-bye.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Well, you never know. I mean, maybe they have drones. Maybe they disguise the spaceships as drones. Maybe we think they're drones, but they're really spaceships. Who knows?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Now it is time for our final game, lightning fill-in-the-blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
All right. So why don't we do this? Since Dulce and Roy are in second place, Dulce, I will start with you. You ready to play? Because you were eager to go. Here we go, Dulce. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Monday, doctors in Louisiana confirmed the first severe human case of blank flu in the U.S.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Yes. On Tuesday, the Supreme Court agreed to hear a case that could effectively ban social media app Blank. Tick. Right. This week, the Biden administration set new pollution goals to help combat blank. Climate change. Right. On Thursday, the Teamsters launched the largest ever strike against online shopping giant blank. Amazon. Right.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
This week, a man in Singapore who drove directly into a guarded military camp said he did it because he wanted to blank.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
No. He just wanted to see, he said, how security would react. On Wednesday, the CDC confirmed that U.S. blank had risen to 78.4 years.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Oh, drinking. Right. 80 people got food poisoning at an LA Times event celebrating blank. Food. Good enough. They got food poisoning at an event celebrating the best restaurants in L.A.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
A norovirus outbreak linked to oysters poisoned 80 people who paid $159 to get into a celebration of the finest cuisine in the city with the people who paid $350 for VIP tickets getting VIP, very important, vomiting.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Now, what happens is people saying, well, no, all these drones. And the government says, no, there aren't. We've looked. They're all perfectly reasonable explanations for all of it. And the whole thing might be this kind of mass hysteria. This is all true. A Pennsylvania state senator tweeted a photo of what he said was a drone that had been shot down. See? It was a Thai fighter from Star Wars.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
All right, Roy, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, a House panel voted to release the ethics report on blank. Matt Gaetz. That's right. On Monday, Olaf Scholz, the chancellor of blank, lost a no-confidence vote. Sweden. No, Germany. This week, the Federal Reserve cut blanks by a quarter point. Got the interest rate. Right.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
On Wednesday, the FAA reported that over 100 blanks had been hit by laser pointers this month. Ooh. Planes. Right, airplanes. This week, a woman in California sued her parents because she claimed they gave her blank. Chlamydia. No. No? They gave her all of their ugliest genes. On Monday, U.S. entomologists confirmed that the invasive blank hornet threat had been eliminated.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
No, it's the murder hornet. Murder hornet. This week, a criminal in Massachusetts was caught by police after he got stuck trying to blank.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
No, he was caught while trying to escape down a family's chimney. After evading police by jumping from roof to roof, the man made a huge mistake when he got stuck trying to escape down a chimney. There's the nice list and there's the naughty list, but it's so rare we get somebody on Santa's stay-in-your-lane list. Bill, how did Roy do in our quiz?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
How many then... Does Hari need to win? Seven to win. All right. Here we go. Hari, this is for the game. On Thursday, Luigi Mangione agreed to be extradited to blank for his trial. New York. Right. On Wednesday, OpenAI announced that you can now use a 1-800 number to call blank. Domino's. You call chat GPT.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
This week, NASA confirmed that the two astronauts stuck on the blank will be there until late March. Spaceship. Right. Well, Space Station, on Wednesday, Taylor Swift threw a huge party to celebrate the end of her blank tour. Eros tour. Right. This week, a report revealed that the owner of the New York Jets scuttled a trade for star receiver Jerry Judy because blank. Slept with his wife.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
No, because his player rating in the Madden video game was too low. Very good. In a possible link to climate change, researchers warned that some blanks had become carnivores. Herbivores. No, squirrels. A squeamish man whose wife was in the bathroom sick with food poisoning was able to comfort her and keep his distance by blanking. Hiding under the bed.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
No, he comforted her from a safe distance by rubbing her back with a Swiffer mop. While his wife cradled the toilet, the husband was hiding in the hallway and rubbing her back from about four feet away with their Swiffer mop. It was a gesture, just around the corner from Sweet.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
It was so nice, he also sent the Roomba in when he had to step away, so there was somebody there at least to repeatedly bump her. Bill, did Hari do well enough to win? No.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Coming up, our panelists predict what would be the best Christmas present of the year. But first, let me tell you that. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircare Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeker writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Lederman, composer at Theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Grombos, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Vinnie Thomas and Monica Hickey. Santa's little helper is Peter Gwynn. Emma Choi is our vibe curator, technical direction of some Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
And the former governor of Maryland, Larry Hogan, posted a footage of drones that he said were floating above his house for hours. And again, true, it was the Constellation Orion. Okay, fine.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now panel, what would be the best present received this year? Harry Kondabolu.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Roy Blunt Jr., Dulce Sloan, and Harry Kondabulu. Thanks to all of you for listening. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theater. Happy holidays from everybody here. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR. Support for this podcast and the following message come from Anthropic.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Meet Claude, the AI assistant from Anthropic that's transforming how organizations work. Imagine every person in your team having an expert collaborator who knows your company inside and out. That's Claude. When you upload company documents into Claude, you're giving it the context to become your subject matter expert and deliver astute and helpful responses. Thank you.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Join leading enterprises already working smarter with Claude. Transform your organization's productivity and visit anthropic.com slash enterprise.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Yeah, I know, you never know, yeah. All right, Melanie, here is your next quote. Let's look back at some delicious memories. That was a message that appeared on People's Starbucks app. Starbucks is one of many companies copying Spotify Wrapped this month and offering users what?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Exactly right. A year in review, right? Everybody's doing their own version of Spotify Rack. So, for example, we mentioned Starbucks tells you what you bought, what your favorite drinks were. The Washington Post has a summary of all the articles you read that year. Strava, of course, gives you a summary of all the exercise you did. And I personally loved Boeing's Flights You Survived 2024. Yeah.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
You know who actually did this? Tinder. Tinder offered their users an end of the year swipe report because what everybody wants as a Christmas present is a statistical breakdown of all the people who rejected you. So your top genre was unavailable guys with glasses.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
See, the whole point of these summaries is they give you the illusion of having accomplished something with your time, right? You're still just like, you know, then the same old drudge you were January 1st. But look at all the songs you listen to.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Great to see you. We do have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone, part of a pantheon of Hollywood power couples like Bogie and Bacall, Ben and J-Lo, Leonardo DiCaprio, and a series of women who cannot legally rent a car. You can play our games alone or as part of a power couple. We don't care.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
There you are. Melanie, your last quote today is actually a punchline to a joke that was written out in a New York Times op-ed this week. All I can tell you is that it's the Pope who is driving him. Who told this joke, among a few others, about the Pope? Oh, the Pope. Yes, the Pope. What? Of course it was the Pope, or as he would say, is the me Catholic? Ooh.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Pope Francis wrote an op-ed in Tuesday's New York Times entitled, There is Faith in Humor, in which he went on to basically tell a bunch of jokes. Great. Another old white guy in comedy. How many Popes does it take to do something? I don't know.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Now he says that what this is about is like how humor is important in coping with life's travails, it's a part of faith, that we should embrace humor, right? But what's going on is that pretty late in life, the Pope obviously wants to start doing stand-up, which is fine, but it will be shocking when he starts his sets with, so I've been dating again.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
And he'll do crowd work, like, oh, what do you do for a living? Yes, and what are your sins?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Well, he's really interested in comedy. As you may have heard Jim Gaffigan talking about on our show a few weeks ago, he invited a whole bunch of comedians and humorists to the Vatican to meet them. Not me! Well... Are you Catholic? No. Oh, fine.
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WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Congratulations, Melanie. Go first. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Dulce, question for you. Dulce, there's been another breakthrough in pickles. Now the hot new online trend in pickles is to cover pickles with what?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Glitter. You got it. Yes. You knew all of them, but you wanted glitter. Glitter. TikTok has come up with yet another way to torture a pickle so far, as you, I think, were trying to tell us.
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WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
You did, yeah. So far, TikTokers have wrapped pickles in fried cheese. They've stuffed them with taki chips, and now they're dumping edible glitter into pickle jars to make a treat called a glickle. Oh.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Where you been? Go ahead. Now, does Glitter Pickle sound like the name of an all-male strip club in Reno? Yes, of course it does.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
And Glickles apparently are perfect for people who like sparkly things and literally have nothing else to eat. See, I feel like you're judging, Peter. I am. For why? Glitter Pickles? That ain't none of your business. I guess you're right. If people want to eat their pickles with glitter, it's a free country.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Right. Have you eaten glitter pickles or glitter?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Coming up, our panelists go adventuring in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Hey, it's Peter Sagal. The year is almost over, and now is the time when NPR and I come to you hat in hand and ask for your support.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Now, interestingly, the idiom hat in hand does not refer to, say, a street performer walking around holding out his hat for people to put in money. I always thought it was. No, it is actually referring to an old tradition when knights would remove their helmets and show humility.
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WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
So it's really more about my attitude of supplication than it is about asking for money, even though, of course, I'm going to be asking for money. Now, if you heard that and you said to yourself, wow, that's fascinating. I was also under that misapprehension as to the idioms meaning than you, my friend. are one of us.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
That means you enjoy our show, where we do trivia and jokes for smart people, dumb jokes for smart people to be sure, where we give you a break from the week's news, where we make your breakfast on the weekend with your family, or your walk with your dog, or other interminable tasks, bearable with our goofy, dumb, but we always think, smart humor. Now, if you heard me say that...
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WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
and you said to yourself, well, I know that. Everybody knows that. Then you are our ideal listener, and you should donate even more. You know what you should do? If you're enjoying this little riff on idioms, You should join NPR+.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
A small recurring donation gets you special perks for more than 25 NPR podcasts, like sponsor-free listening and bonus episodes, even discounted items from the NPR shop. It only takes a few minutes to sign up, and you can do it right now at plus.npr.org. And if you've already donated to your local station or joined NPR+, that and I thank you. We will be waiting for your donation with bated breath.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
And that's baited, B-A-T-E-D, short for like abated, i.e. we're holding our breath. But come on, you knew that.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
McKinney, Texas. I don't know where that is. Can you tell me?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Little north of Dallas. And what do you do there?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Thank you. Thank you so much. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. You can always check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at Wait, Wait, NPR. The information you need is there. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Hey, I love Pittsburgh. One of my favorite places. What do you do there?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
All right. What do you teach there? Okay.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
That's great. I have to ask, only because it's so typical, did he come back from college in London with a pretentious British accent?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Well, welcome to our show, Kelly. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Kelly's topic? Get me to REI. There's so much you can do in the great outdoors. You can kayak, rock climb, get malaria. Our panel is going to tell you about a whole new kind of outdoor activity that's becoming popular.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to go?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Well, let's do it then. Let's hear first from Dulce Sloan.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
You do? So like an incubator, they call it?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Yes, yes. And are you the one who, in a Shark Tank kind of way, gets to decide who you're going to invest in based on their idea?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
A politician in New Jersey... thinking of running for governor, fakes his Spotify rap to make it seem like he listened to more Bruce than he really did. Your next trip down Thunder Road comes from Paula Poundstone.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
A convenience store owner in New Jersey gets a little carried away with his Springsteen fandom and ends up getting a smackdown from the boss's lawyer. Your last Springsteen spiel comes from Joyelle Nicole Johnson.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
And what is the stupidest idea anybody's ever pitched you?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
All right, here are your choices. Bruce Springsteen, no stranger to the news, found himself in it for an unusual reason. Was it from Mo Rocca, a gubernatorial candidate, perhaps in New Jersey, faked his Spotify rap to make it sound like he listened to more Bruce than apparently he really did?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
From Paula Poundstone, a convenience store owner who just got a little too carried away and got into legal trouble with his Bruce fandom? Or Bruce Springsteen himself announces he is going to write, produce, and star in The Boss 2, which of these is the real story of Springsteen in the news?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Please, oh, come on. Megan, come on. If they're that dumb, they probably don't listen to NPR, so go ahead. No, no, we admire your discretion. That's fine, Megan. Welcome to our show. Let me introduce you to our fabulous panel this week. First up, a comedian you can see New Year's Eve at the Burlington Comedy Club in Vermont, Joelle Nicole Johnson.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Mo's story about Spotify wrapped. Your choice then is the story about the... Politician who tried to increase his New Jersey cred. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to the journalist who broke this story.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
That was the New Jersey Monitor's editor-in-chief, Terrence T. McDonald, who is the guy who realized through careful forensic analysis... that this Spotify wrapped report was fake. Congratulations, Claire, you got it right. So, we know three things. You earn our prize, Mo gets a point just for telling the truth, and Joyelle has never once in her life heard Bruce Springsteen's speaking voice.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Yeah. It's good to know. It's just good to know that about you. Congratulations, Claire. You got it right. Well done. Thanks so much for playing. Thank you. And now the game where we ask important people about unimportant things. It's called Not My Job. Katonji Brown Jackson was sworn in as an associate justice of the Supreme Court on June 30th, 2022, becoming not just the first. Yes. Yes.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
I know that they're responding as if they just heard the news. More public about it. Anyway, she became on that day, not just the first black woman on our highest court, but also the first former public defender in that role. Justice Jackson, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
We are so delighted to have you. Although we have to be honest, as much as we'd like to think that this were the case, you are not in New York City simply to be with us. You are going to be on Broadway this weekend.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Wow. How is that going to happen? How does that work?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Wow. And I could just imagine the admissions officer going, she's a lunatic, but kind of fun. Let's let her in, see what happens. So they have offered you a chance. It's an actual Broadway show, right?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
I mean, I just want to say that this remarkable event, you appearing on a Broadway stage, is such a gift for all the mothers who are telling their kids, no, no, you can go to law school and then be on Broadway. LAUGHTER And they can point at you and say, it worked.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
All you have to do is get in the Supreme Court. You can have any part they want. They will call you up and ask you.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Justice Breyer again told us he did not enjoy that.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Oh, well, hold on. Give us an example.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
I mean, you can't talk about cases and controversies. Tell us about entrees.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Oh my God, Paula's reading her dissent from the bench. Yes! So, in you, Justice Jackson went to college with Mo Rocca right here, is that right?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
It's the pinnacle of every theater person's dream to perform with Mo Rocca, but you also... Didn't you also get to perform in some way with Matt Damon when he was a student there?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Hi, Megan. And finally, a comedian you can see in Glendale, California on February 8th at the Alex Theater. And, of course, you can hear her on the podcast. Nobody listens to Paula Poundstone. It is, of course, Paula Poundstone.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
So anyway, about Matt. So you were paired with... Matt Damon, Matt Damon, Matt Damon, Matt Damon. We were paired for a scene.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Well, Justice Jackson, we are so thrilled to have you with us. And we're asking you here to play a game we're calling Supreme Meet the Supremes. We were thinking about the Supreme Court, and that made us, of course, think about Diana Ross and the Supremes. Oh, amazing. So we're going to ask you three questions about that greatest of all girl groups.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Get two of them right, you'll win a prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Justice Jackson playing for?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Now, again, having read your book and seen you in action, I'm guessing that you were the kind of person who takes this seriously, even if you know you shouldn't.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
All right. Your first question. The Supremes had 12 number one hits, like famous ones, Stop in the Name of Love, but some of their early singles did not find much success, like which of these? A, a song about a lonely fox during a snowy winter, B, a song about how the singer's boyfriend eats too much popcorn, or C, a song called Go in the Name of Love?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
All right, Megan, you, of course, are going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis stands at the ready with three quotations from the week's news. Your job, of course, correctly identify or explain just two of them. Do that and you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to go?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
You're going to say Fox in the Snowy Winter?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
She does think on her feet. She does. Come on, context clues. You are quick. Yes, you sensed my skepticism and you got it correct. The song... The song was called Buttered Popcorn, came out of the Motown music factory there in Detroit, and Motown stopped promoting it after someone told them that the lyric, he likes it greasy and sticky, could be construed to have a double meaning.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Yeah. Okay. That was very good. Here's your next question. One day in the 1990s, a stretch limo driver got a call from Diana Ross's manager with a question. What was the question for that stretch limo chauffeur? Was it A, if that driver could look for Miss Ross's heart chakra, which she insists she had left in that car? Yeah. B, if the driver was available to take Ms.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Ross on a trip through a car wash, which she loved, and a stretch limo, of course, would make it last longer. Or C, if he could turn up the heat because Ms. Ross, who was sitting in the back seat at that very moment, was a little chilly. That's got great.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
You are right again. Yes! Here is your last question. Miss Ross, known, of course, as one of the quintessential divas, as we just illustrated, she does, in fact, try to stay humble. For example, she went on social media in 2017 to express her sincere gratitude for what? A, the fact that a song she recorded in 1974 hit number one again.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
B, she was grateful for her daughter sharing her Netflix password with her. Or C, she was grateful for the stranger who turned in her fanny pack after she lost it at Marshalls. Diana Ross with a fanny pack?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
You're right again. The tweet read, thank you for the angel. I lost my fanny pack at the Marshalls on Olympic and someone turned it in. What a blessing. So Bill, how did Justice Jackson do on our quiz? Three in a row. Perfect. Katanja Brown Jackson's memoir is called Lovely One. Justice Jackson, thank you so much for gracing us here with your presence. Thank you.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
I hope so, because here is your first quote. He's even hotter with his mask off. That was someone in the New York Times talking about an accused criminal who many people are calling a, quote, folk hero. Who is it?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Ladies and gentlemen, Associate Justice Katanja Brown Jackson. In just a minute, a brand new meaning of runaway bride. That's in our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Thank you so much, Bill. In just a minute, Bill, like history, does not repeat himself, but sometimes he rhymes. If you'd like to play our Listener Limerick Challenge, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Paula, the life of a parent can be hectic, as you yourself well know, which may be why a recent poll found that one-third of parents regularly eat what for dinner? Oh, their kids' food. Yes, exactly. Their kids' leftover lunches, specifically.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
In order to save time and money, about 30% of parents around the country admit to regularly eating the leftovers from their kids' school lunches for their own dinner. Now, I trust researchers, but I'm calling this one out. It is not 30%. Every parent does this. 100%. Some just don't want to admit how delicious Uncrustables are.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Yes, he did. Luigi Mangione. Yes. It's okay. You're applauding for her. She got it right. It really shows you the state of American healthcare where they catch the guy who murdered an insurance CEO and the main public reaction is, well, hang on, let's hear him out. Every major news outlet, including NPR, is running pieces debating if Mangione is a villain or a kind of popular hero.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
The poll found that most lunches consist of your classic sandwich and chips, and so that's what you get for dinner, but you know that if you will be eating the leftovers, why not, you know, play to that outcome? You know, your kid's like, oh, why did mom pack me a pan-seared halibut and a glass of Chardonnay again?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Yeah. Joelle, new research finds that of all the Christmas songs, Frosty the Snowman is the most what?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
That may well be true, but not according to science. Let me give you a hint. I mean, think about it. You might poke your eyes out on that sharp carrot nose. Dangerous? Dangerous. It's the most dangerous holiday song. Yes, Frosty the Snowman has been deemed the most dangerous Christmas carol. We'd say danger is Frosty's middle name, but his middle name is the...
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
So researchers in China showed that songs with a high tempo can be distracting to drivers, right? So an insurance company applied that formula to holiday songs and discovered that the tempo of Frosty the Snowman, which is 172 beats per minute in most popular versions, is a ticket to the danger zone, right? Plus, the chorus just fits too perfectly with plow through a school zone.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Exactly. And back we are. Yeah. Yeah. Joyelle, we have AI assistants. Some people have AI companions. Now, phone companies have introduced another kind of artificial person, an AI what? Customer service? Oh, we've got that, and it's terrible. Oh, it is. Oh, oh. I'll give you a hint. I'll give you a hint. It even pinches your cheeks and gives you Werther's original hard candies.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Yep, AI grandmas. So a British phone company called O2 has unveiled their new AI grandma. She's designed specifically to frustrate phone scammers who prey on the elderly. Right?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Right? Right. Instead of taking money from your grandma, they get stuck with her and she's able to keep them on the line for 40 minutes or more by misunderstanding what they're saying just enough to get them to keep trying to explain. It is absolutely spooky how realistic she is. Every 10 minutes, this AI grandma tells you you're so brave for living in New York and taking the subway.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
She's named Daisy. She loves chit-chat, talking about her kitten. At press time, she has tied up over 1,000 spammers and convinced more than two dozen of them to visit her more often. I love that.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Coming up, it's lightning fell on the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call and leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks back at the beautiful Studebaker Theater in Chicago. For tickets and info, just go over to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Even Senator Elizabeth Warren said, and this is a quote, violence is never the answer. But... But what, Senator? Oh, it's not the answer, but it's a good guess? Have you guys been caught in a kind of sort of dual consciousness about this terrible crime? Oh, it's no duel. Yeah. No, I mean, this, of course, is the problem. It is a terrible crime, a murder in broad daylight.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Hamburg, New York. I don't know where that is. Where is it exactly?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Okay. Well, that just makes you people thrive, right?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
It just cushions the blow when you jump at the folding table before the games to have the snow on. Aaron, Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Those are the rules. Are you ready to do it? I'm ready. Let's go.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Run? Yes, very good. This week, the New York Times told us about a new wedding trend where in the morning of the ceremony, the bride and groom make the guests go for a run with them, even putting on sometimes a pre-wedding 5K. There's nothing like starting a day with all the people who love you, giving them a reason to hate you.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Right. It's like, yes, you have to go somewhere and you have to get there on foot. And now most cases of these weddings, the run is not required, but the reception is 3.1 miles away from the church, and it starts now. Would you do this if you were invited to a wedding and there was a group run on the morning of the wedding? Would you go?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
You're running by and you grab a can of pain and stuff it in your face. I like that. All right, here is your next limerick.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Right, yes. Moths avoid plants if the plants are crying. Great. Plants cry now. Come on, as if we didn't have enough to deal with. So, what does plant crying actually sound like? According to the Times, plants, quote, cry a mournful melody, unquote, consisting of ultrasonic clicking. It's not bad. It's why one of the most popular YouTube channels is Plant Dying ASMR.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
That's really interesting that you were feeding flies to your personal Venus flytrap, and yet you are not today a serial killer. I think that's such a sign of your resilience. All right, here is your last limerick.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Yes, the hottest trend in baby names this year is names that conjure up the image of an Ivy League educated elite. You know, names like Whitaker or Kingsley or Forrest, something that suggests old money and, quote, can commit any crime because dad knows the governor. So that means that if this trend holds, 18 years from now, Harvard and Yale freshmen will be named like Harvard and Yale freshmen.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
It's frustrating. This happened right after we had a child and named him Little University of Phoenix Online Cycle. Bill, how did Erin do in our quiz?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
But on the other hand, our healthcare system is terrible. If the guy ever goes to trial, the problem for prosecutors will be finding 12 people for a jury who have never been screwed over by their health insurance company.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many Fill in the Blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Mo and Joyelle, three. Paula, two. All right. Paula, that means you are in second place. That means you're going to go first.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
The clock will start when I begin your first question. Ready to go?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Fill in the Blank. On Wednesday, Christopher Wray, the director of the Blank, announced he would resign at the end of President Biden's term.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Right. On Thursday, the president of South Korea defended his decision to declare blank in that country last week. Martial law. Right. This week, GM announced it was abandoning its plans to develop a line of blank-less taxis. Blankless. Driverless. Right. On Tuesday, the CDC proposed a new rule that would greatly reduce the amount of blank and tobacco products. Nicotine. Right.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
This week, a man in the UK who was arrested for the 59th time told the judge blank. I like it here. No, he told the judge... He told the judge, quote, I think this time I really have learned my lesson. On Monday, FIFA announced that Saudi Arabia had won the bid for the 2034 blank. Soccer champion thing. I'll give it to you. World Cup. World Cup.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
This week, a senator said that mysterious blanks above New Jersey should be shot down if necessary. Drones? Right. During a parade in Palm Springs this week, a motorcycle cop who wanted to impress the crowd did a wheelie and then blanked. Uh, fell off. No, he did a wheelie and then crashed into the crowd, sending 10 people to the hospital. Oh, my gosh.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
During the Festival of Lights this week, the motorcycle cop popped up on one wheel, lost control of the bike, and knocked down 10 people. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured until the ambulance taking them to the hospital tried to do a wheelie. Wow.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Okay, I have arbitrarily chosen Moe to go next. Moe, fill in the blank. On Thursday, President Biden sent a single-day record for presidential blanks. Pardons. And commutations. On Tuesday, Russia confirmed that they had granted asylum to the deposed president of blank. Syria. Right. This week, residents were told to evacuate as a blank swept through Malibu. Fire. Yes, wildfire.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
On Thursday, a watchdog group reported that the FBI had missed basic steps in their intelligence gathering before the attack on the blank. Capital. Right. This week, Russia announced it was sending, quote, 100 elite blanks to North Korea.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Did you zoom in? Mo Rocca, are you an abs truther?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Elite GOAT is kind of redundant, yes. On Wednesday, Bill Belichick agreed to a five-year coaching deal with blank.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Well, hello. To combat overcrowding, an airline in Japan announced plans to deliver passengers blank directly to their hotels. Oh, their package. This week, the elaborate wedding proposal of a couple under a giant Christmas tree near Radio City Music Hall near here was interrupted by blank.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
No, it was interrupted by a rat running out of the Christmas tree just as the man got down on one knee. Yes! The rat's timing... I'd like to think it was... I'd love to think it's Pizza Rat. Pizza Rat, yeah, he's still out there. The rat's timing could not have been more perfect. If you look at the video, he popped out of the tree the moment the man was about to pop the question.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
The story has a happy ending, though. The rat said yes. Bill, how did Mo do on our quiz? Settled at 15, and he takes the lead. All right, then. So how many, then, does Joyelle need to win in this, her first appearance on the stage of Carnegie Hall? Seven to win. Here we go, Joyelle. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, GOP lawmakers met with several of blank's cabinet picks.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Now, of course, as you know, after this week-long manhunt that seemed to occupy the news, he was spotted by a worker at a McDonald's in Pennsylvania. And this is true, again, reflecting people's mixed feelings about this. People have been flooding that McDonald's with bad reviews on Yelp.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Yes, Donald Trump. On Wednesday, a technical issue caused widespread outage of Facebook, Instagram, and the other apps run by blank. Meta? Right. This week, three more people filed charges against disgraced hip-hop mogul blank. Diddy? Yep. On Monday, the Department of Agriculture announced plans to expand the testing of U.S. milk for blank flu.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Yes. This week, a man won the Spanish National Scrabble Championships despite not blanking. Speak in English? No, despite not speaking any Spanish. It was in Spain. Three months after having back surgery, golfer Blank announced he was returning to competition. Tiger? Tiger Woods. On Tuesday, movies and TV shows produced by Netflix scored over 35 Blank Award nominations. Oh, Golden Globe? Right.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
This week, the most watched video on TikTok was a woman telling the story of the time she had used an olive oil hair treatment in high school and blanked.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
No, I'll tell you what happened. She used too much olive oil, leaving a path of olive oil behind her. Then her cat frightened her. She slipped in the oil, slammed into a door, and passed out. Then she woke up in darkness, didn't know where she was, and couldn't stand because both her legs were asleep, and she was covered in olive oil. She finally got up and tried to run to the door.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
When she got to the door, it set off the burglar alarm, which wakes her dad up, and he comes downstairs wielding a baseball bat, thinking there's a burglar. They both scream. The story goes on, but the show is about to end. Bill, did Joyelle do well enough to win?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
In just a minute. We're going to ask our panelists to predict after unclaimed mail what will be the next innovation in gift giving. But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ, Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircare Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Our tour manager is Shana Dommel. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer. Birthday, Mills, Miles, Drone Boss, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is the ghost of Wait, Wait, Future. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Special thanks to Gary Yeck this week. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mr. Michael Danforth. Now panel, what's the next big thing in gift giving? Joelle Nicole Johnson.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Paula Pounce, Angela McCall-Johnson, Mo Rocca. Thanks to everyone at WNYC, the amazing staff here at Gardner U Hall, and our fabulous audience here in this gem of an institution. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you back in Chicago next week. This is NPR.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Because there's shots of him with a Happy Meal from earlier. But really, I mean, again... Even given what he is accused of doing, everybody is obsessed with this guy's good looks, including the shirtless photo that I think Mo was referring to a moment ago. The New York Times even ran a headline this week, Luigi Mangione and the Danger of a Handsome Criminal.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
And it was the first ever New York Times article with a centerfold. Megan, your next quote comes from a contestant on a certain reality TV show.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
In a huge win for reality TV stars this week, the National Labor Relations Board ruled that stars of one particular show have rights as employees. They can even unionize. What is that show?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Well, there was a big hint in the quote.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
However did you know? The National Labor Relations Board issued a ruling this week saying the contestants on Netflix's dating show Love is Blind are legally employees. They have the right to... to decent working conditions, pay, and if they like, can form a union. This could have shockways across the reality TV space, as they say.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
I can't wait for the first time someone pulls out their housewife's local 150 membership card.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
That's true. But also, when you think about it, on Survivor, there will now be workplace rules. OSHA will be able, right, to come in and make sure that everything is safe and up to code. Like, you know, they won't be able to kick people off the island, you know, with union protections. The tribe has spoken. We have to move you to a desk job with full pay.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Exactly, yeah. All right, Megan. Megan, your last quote is about what one person actually got for Christmas.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Now, if you're wondering why anyone might get that weird random collection of stuff as a present, it's because according to the Wall Street Journal, the new hot thing for Christmas is to give your loved ones other people's undelivered what?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Close enough. Their unclaimed mail. Very good. They're packages. Companies like Fun Delivered are making unclaimed mail the hottest gift this season. Nothing says I love you like somebody else didn't want this. So for about $100, Fund Delivered will send you a bunch of unopened packages to give away, right?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
It is such a pleasure to be back at this absolute jewel of an institution, Carnegie Hall. We have such a special show for you all today. Later on, we are going to be talking to Supreme Court Justice Katonji Brown Jackson. It's so exciting now. We realize that she is the most junior justice in the court, but all the really senior ones were outside our price range. It's still free.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
These packages have been abandoned by their recipient and not returned to the sender, right? You don't know what you're going to get because neither do they. The unclaimed packages can be anything from valuables to negligees to fake IDs to, uh-oh, whose grandpa's ashes are these?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
That's the great thing about this idea. For when you can't think of what somebody might want, you get something that you don't know what it is.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
If you out there are excited by this gift idea, act quickly. There's a holiday special at 10% discount on packages that are leaking.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Bill, how did Megan do in our quiz?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Paula, an American woman traveling to Australia arrived there and was caught with a gun in her suitcase, which is a crime. She said she forgot it in there, but she was sentenced to jail this week when authorities discovered what?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
I will give you the right answer. She had set up a Google calendar alert for that day that said, put gun in suitcase. Wow. You laugh, but that's why you always forget to put gun in suitcase. This is all true. The woman was carrying this gold-plated automatic pistol on her way to attend clown college in Australia. And before leaving on this trip, she both Googled, can I bring a gun to Australia?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
And even though the answer is no, she put the reminder in her calendar, right? And when she arrived, she said, I have no illegal items. And a customs officer said, well, what about that gun in your luggage? And she responded, quote, oh. I forgot about that.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
So you walk around with your medications, scotch tape to your shirt.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Do you have the little pills on you? Yeah, I put the pills on me. And you wait for someone to notice them.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Coming up, we go down to the river in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Hey, it's Peter Sagal. Before we get back to the show, we want to say a big thank you to our listeners. It's because of you that we get to bring on famous people and ask them about very silly subjects.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Just this year alone, we've questioned Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen about Antiques Roadshow. Can I phone a friend? You have armed security. You can do whatever you want. Stumped chef and TV host Kristen Kish with Jeff Bezos trivia.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
So go ahead, ask your question. And asked English actor Gary Oldman about hobby horses. Have you heard or seen hobby horsing? I have seen it. It's pretty out there. It's pretty out there. Like I said, silly, but we like to think pretty funny. If you already support our work by giving to your local station or signing up for NPR+, we really appreciate it.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
If you haven't heard of NPR+, well, that's a program especially for our podcast listeners. For a small recurring donation, NPR Plus supporters get to hear this and other NPR shows sponsor free. And you get other perks too, like bonus episodes and discounted items from the NPR shop.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
So you get all that with Plus and know you're supporting NPR's mission of creating a more informed public and our mission to embarrass as many famous people as possible. Just go to plus.npr.org to learn more. And thanks.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
To call and play our games, the number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
This message comes from Omaha Steaks. Nothing delivers comfort and joy quite like the unrivaled quality and taste of Omaha Steaks. The gifting experts at Omaha Steaks have made it easy to deliver the perfect gift with thoughtfully curated gift packages featuring gourmet favorites, from legendary steaks to mouth-watering desserts. Save 50% off site-wide for a limited time.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Plus, get an extra $30 off with promo code WAIT. Minimum purchase may apply.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Thank you, Bill. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at waitwaitnpr. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
I love Tucson, one of my favorite places in this country. What do you do there?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
What do you do there in Pittsburgh?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
So I assume, of course, that you carry a bullwhip and have lots of adventures, right?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Absolutely. And of course, the students know about the whip, so they're not going to give you lip. Well, welcome to the show, Claire. You have to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Claire's topic? Maybe we were born to run. Bruce Springsteen, icon, superstar, the one good thing about New Jersey.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
So this week, Bruce Springsteen, though, showed up in the news in a surprising way. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win our prize. The wait-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to go?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
All right, first off, let's hear from Mo Rocca.