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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Anybody here reindeer? Because I'm about to slay. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at Carnegie Hall in New York City, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you. Thank you, everybody.
It is such a pleasure to be back at this absolute jewel of an institution, Carnegie Hall. We have such a special show for you all today. Later on, we are going to be talking to Supreme Court Justice Katonji Brown Jackson. It's so exciting now. We realize that she is the most junior justice in the court, but all the really senior ones were outside our price range. It's still free.
To call and play our games, the number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, this is Megan. I'm calling from Tucson, Arizona.
I love Tucson, one of my favorite places in this country. What do you do there?
I work for a place called Startup Tucson. We help people launching their businesses.
You do? So like an incubator, they call it?
Of sorts, yes.
Yes, yes. And are you the one who, in a Shark Tank kind of way, gets to decide who you're going to invest in based on their idea?
We do have a pitch competition where that does get to happen.
And what is the stupidest idea anybody's ever pitched you?
Oh, I don't know if I'm privileged to say.
Please, oh, come on. Megan, come on. If they're that dumb, they probably don't listen to NPR, so go ahead. No, no, we admire your discretion. That's fine, Megan. Welcome to our show. Let me introduce you to our fabulous panel this week. First up, a comedian you can see New Year's Eve at the Burlington Comedy Club in Vermont, Joelle Nicole Johnson.
Hey, Megan. Hi, Joelle. Hi.
Hi, Mo.
Hi, Megan. And finally, a comedian you can see in Glendale, California on February 8th at the Alex Theater. And, of course, you can hear her on the podcast. Nobody listens to Paula Poundstone. It is, of course, Paula Poundstone.
Hi, Paula. Hey, Megan. Hi.
All right, Megan, you, of course, are going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis stands at the ready with three quotations from the week's news. Your job, of course, correctly identify or explain just two of them. Do that and you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to go?
I think so.
I hope so, because here is your first quote. He's even hotter with his mask off. That was someone in the New York Times talking about an accused criminal who many people are calling a, quote, folk hero. Who is it?
That would be Luigi who perpetrated a crime in New York City.
Yes, he did. Luigi Mangione. Yes. It's okay. You're applauding for her. She got it right. It really shows you the state of American healthcare where they catch the guy who murdered an insurance CEO and the main public reaction is, well, hang on, let's hear him out. Every major news outlet, including NPR, is running pieces debating if Mangione is a villain or a kind of popular hero.
Even Senator Elizabeth Warren said, and this is a quote, violence is never the answer. But... But what, Senator? Oh, it's not the answer, but it's a good guess? Have you guys been caught in a kind of sort of dual consciousness about this terrible crime? Oh, it's no duel. Yeah. No, I mean, this, of course, is the problem. It is a terrible crime, a murder in broad daylight.
But on the other hand, our healthcare system is terrible. If the guy ever goes to trial, the problem for prosecutors will be finding 12 people for a jury who have never been screwed over by their health insurance company.
Also, it's not a real six-pack. Ooh, the body! Really? No! I think it's photoshopped. It's not real. Mo Rocca.
Did you zoom in? Mo Rocca, are you an abs truther?
Do you want me to show you right now?
Now, of course, as you know, after this week-long manhunt that seemed to occupy the news, he was spotted by a worker at a McDonald's in Pennsylvania. And this is true, again, reflecting people's mixed feelings about this. People have been flooding that McDonald's with bad reviews on Yelp.
Can I say, you really can't complain about health care if you're eating at McDonald's all the time. That's true. You brought on these problems yourself.
Because there's shots of him with a Happy Meal from earlier. But really, I mean, again... Even given what he is accused of doing, everybody is obsessed with this guy's good looks, including the shirtless photo that I think Mo was referring to a moment ago. The New York Times even ran a headline this week, Luigi Mangione and the Danger of a Handsome Criminal.
And it was the first ever New York Times article with a centerfold. Megan, your next quote comes from a contestant on a certain reality TV show.
For some, love might be blind, but for me, it's not.
In a huge win for reality TV stars this week, the National Labor Relations Board ruled that stars of one particular show have rights as employees. They can even unionize. What is that show?
Oh, I don't watch reality TV.
Well, there was a big hint in the quote.
Was it Love is Blind? It is Love is Blind.
However did you know? The National Labor Relations Board issued a ruling this week saying the contestants on Netflix's dating show Love is Blind are legally employees. They have the right to... to decent working conditions, pay, and if they like, can form a union. This could have shockways across the reality TV space, as they say.
I can't wait for the first time someone pulls out their housewife's local 150 membership card.
So do they get insurance now? Because the rates must be crazy for Survivor.
That's true. But also, when you think about it, on Survivor, there will now be workplace rules. OSHA will be able, right, to come in and make sure that everything is safe and up to code. Like, you know, they won't be able to kick people off the island, you know, with union protections. The tribe has spoken. We have to move you to a desk job with full pay.
Does that mean, like, Naked and Afraid is going to have HR?
Exactly, yeah. All right, Megan. Megan, your last quote is about what one person actually got for Christmas.
A fake Chanel handbag, a Super Mario bodysuit, two fake IDs, and a Kanye West teddy bear.
Now, if you're wondering why anyone might get that weird random collection of stuff as a present, it's because according to the Wall Street Journal, the new hot thing for Christmas is to give your loved ones other people's undelivered what?
Amazon packages?
Close enough. Their unclaimed mail. Very good. They're packages. Companies like Fun Delivered are making unclaimed mail the hottest gift this season. Nothing says I love you like somebody else didn't want this. So for about $100, Fund Delivered will send you a bunch of unopened packages to give away, right?
These packages have been abandoned by their recipient and not returned to the sender, right? You don't know what you're going to get because neither do they. The unclaimed packages can be anything from valuables to negligees to fake IDs to, uh-oh, whose grandpa's ashes are these?
I think I'm going to do this for my stepfather because he's impossible to get gifts for.
That's the great thing about this idea. For when you can't think of what somebody might want, you get something that you don't know what it is.
Yeah. He's also a jerk. But he loves being a jerk. And one year I got him Omaha Steaks, like a package from Omaha Steaks. And he was like, don't ever do that again. You don't know how to pick meat. And I was like, I didn't pick the meat. Yeah. You didn't go to the stockyard and say, that cow looks tasty. What are you talking about? So now I just give him Budweiser.
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Bill, how did Megan do in our quiz?
Megan pitched us three pitches. And she won. Congratulations, Megan. There we go, Megan.
Thank you so much for playing.
Thanks for having me.
Right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Paula, an American woman traveling to Australia arrived there and was caught with a gun in her suitcase, which is a crime. She said she forgot it in there, but she was sentenced to jail this week when authorities discovered what?
when authorities discovered... Well, let me try to steer you in the right direction. You know these days that if you... Because she had a note on her that said, don't forget you have that gun in your bag. That is so close.
I will give you the right answer. She had set up a Google calendar alert for that day that said, put gun in suitcase. Wow. You laugh, but that's why you always forget to put gun in suitcase. This is all true. The woman was carrying this gold-plated automatic pistol on her way to attend clown college in Australia. And before leaving on this trip, she both Googled, can I bring a gun to Australia?
And even though the answer is no, she put the reminder in her calendar, right? And when she arrived, she said, I have no illegal items. And a customs officer said, well, what about that gun in your luggage? And she responded, quote, oh. I forgot about that.
She should have put the gun in her shoe. Clown college. Exactly. Big shoes.
Plenty of room in those shoes, that's for sure.
Could have put a rifle in there.
She should have done what I do, like if I'm taking meds or something, I will tape, like if you have to take them multiple times, right? I tape them to my shirt. And then when I go out, people go, what's that on your shirt? And I go, oh, geez, thanks. And I take it.
So you walk around with your medications, scotch tape to your shirt.
Yeah, the individual pills, not big bottles.
Do you have the little pills on you? Yeah, I put the pills on me. And you wait for someone to notice them.
Well, if they notice too early, I won't take it.
Coming up, we go down to the river in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Hey, it's Peter Sagal. Before we get back to the show, we want to say a big thank you to our listeners. It's because of you that we get to bring on famous people and ask them about very silly subjects.
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From NPR, WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Mo Rocca, and Joelle Nicole Johnson. Ew! And here again is your host, Carnegie Hall and New York City beater, Segal.
Thank you, Bill. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at waitwaitnpr. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, this is Claire from Pittsburgh. Oh, we love Pittsburgh.
What do you do there in Pittsburgh?
I'm an archaeologist and a professor at the University of Pittsburgh. How intensely cool is that?
So I assume, of course, that you carry a bullwhip and have lots of adventures, right?
Of course. Every year, that's what I do. Once I finish finals, I'm off with my whip.
Absolutely. And of course, the students know about the whip, so they're not going to give you lip. Well, welcome to the show, Claire. You have to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Claire's topic? Maybe we were born to run. Bruce Springsteen, icon, superstar, the one good thing about New Jersey.
So this week, Bruce Springsteen, though, showed up in the news in a surprising way. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win our prize. The wait-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to go?
Yeah, I'm ready.
All right, first off, let's hear from Mo Rocca.
If you want to be elected governor of New Jersey, it's not enough to visit the state's diners. It's got the most of any state. It's not enough to eat the state's tomatoes. It produces the best in the nation. It's not enough to throw those tomatoes across the Hudson at Manhattan. You've got to pay homage to the ultimate political boss, the boss himself, Bruce Springsteen.
And so Democrat Josh Gottheimer proudly posted his Spotify rap list of his top songs for the year, all from Bruce, Thunder Road, Badlands, Rosalita. But now that Spotify rap list is part of his own political rap sheet, since it turns out he totally faked it. That's right. Oh, his pants are on fire. His real list does include the boss, but also Billy Joel.
Yikes, the guy who sang New York State of Mind. But Gottheimer isn't just any politician. When he was called out, he admitted the list was fake and blamed his two young children, who share his Spotify account for skewing the results. A true profile in courage. P.S., his dog's name is Rosalita, but she's actually a Bon Jovi fan.
A politician in New Jersey... thinking of running for governor, fakes his Spotify rap to make it seem like he listened to more Bruce than he really did. Your next trip down Thunder Road comes from Paula Poundstone.
Jiwoo of Jiwoo's Quick Buy Convenience Market in East Orange, New Jersey, loves Bruce Springsteen. Signage among the shelves of groceries and household items have long borne tributes to the boss. A dusty, hey baby, I'm about starving tonight sign hangs over the host's snack cake display. An oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire sign dangles over the door flame logs.
And there beneath the oh, baby, this town rips the bones from your back sign are the first aid supplies. The shop's nachos are sold as chips with boss sauce, and Jiwoo proudly displays a picture of the boss himself enjoying a plateful.
However, when Lee Woo posted a sign saying that Springsteen would be performing there on December 7th, which he did not, it not only disappointed fans, but also resulted in a cease and desist for from the Springsteen legal team. We knew the nacho pitcher was photoshopped, and that was fine, but this was just a bridge too far, says Springsteen lawyer Carolyn Bump.
Jiwoo framed the cease and desist later, and fans enjoy visiting the store to see it.
A convenience store owner in New Jersey gets a little carried away with his Springsteen fandom and ends up getting a smackdown from the boss's lawyer. Your last Springsteen spiel comes from Joyelle Nicole Johnson.
It's cinema at its finest, said the boss about the boss. Many consider Bruce Springsteen to be a genius who can do no wrong. So why is his favorite movie, The Boss, a 2015 comedy flop starring Melissa McCarthy? It's the best movie ever made, he explained in his memoir. He calls it the Nebraska of movies.
Just a reminder, Nebraska is a sparse and moody Springsteen album critics often consider as his best work. Meanwhile, The Boss is a movie critics described as hotel TV. But public disinterest and critical disdain be damned, Springsteen demands a sequel. So this week he announced he is writing, directing, and producing The Boss 2, double The Boss.
I finally have something that will rise to the perfect standard I set with Born in the USA. It's The Boss 2, oh, oh, oh.
All right, here are your choices. Bruce Springsteen, no stranger to the news, found himself in it for an unusual reason. Was it from Mo Rocca, a gubernatorial candidate, perhaps in New Jersey, faked his Spotify rap to make it sound like he listened to more Bruce than apparently he really did?
From Paula Poundstone, a convenience store owner who just got a little too carried away and got into legal trouble with his Bruce fandom? Or Bruce Springsteen himself announces he is going to write, produce, and star in The Boss 2, which of these is the real story of Springsteen in the news?
I'm going to go with Mo's story about Spotify wrapped.
Mo's story about Spotify wrapped. Your choice then is the story about the... Politician who tried to increase his New Jersey cred. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to the journalist who broke this story.
If you take a close look at his Spotify wrapped image, it's just a little different. The spacing isn't right. The font isn't right.
That was the New Jersey Monitor's editor-in-chief, Terrence T. McDonald, who is the guy who realized through careful forensic analysis... that this Spotify wrapped report was fake. Congratulations, Claire, you got it right. So, we know three things. You earn our prize, Mo gets a point just for telling the truth, and Joyelle has never once in her life heard Bruce Springsteen's speaking voice.
I sure haven't. And I'm from New Jersey. Really?
Yeah. It's good to know. It's just good to know that about you. Congratulations, Claire. You got it right. Well done. Thanks so much for playing. Thank you. And now the game where we ask important people about unimportant things. It's called Not My Job. Katonji Brown Jackson was sworn in as an associate justice of the Supreme Court on June 30th, 2022, becoming not just the first. Yes. Yes.
I know that they're responding as if they just heard the news. More public about it. Anyway, she became on that day, not just the first black woman on our highest court, but also the first former public defender in that role. Justice Jackson, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Oh, I'm delighted to be here.
We are so delighted to have you. Although we have to be honest, as much as we'd like to think that this were the case, you are not in New York City simply to be with us. You are going to be on Broadway this weekend.
I am.
Wow. How is that going to happen? How does that work?
Well, you know, I got a call and someone said, we heard that this was your lifelong dream and it is.
To be a Broadway performer.
To be a Broadway performer and a justice. I had both of those. Really? Yes. I wanted, I told the Harvard admissions people that I needed to go there because I wanted to be the first black female Supreme Court justice to appear on a Broadway stage.
What a prophecy.
Wow. And I could just imagine the admissions officer going, she's a lunatic, but kind of fun. Let's let her in, see what happens. So they have offered you a chance. It's an actual Broadway show, right?
It is an actual Broadway show. It is Anne Juliet. They have invited me to do a special walk-on role that I'm told they wrote for me. Wow. So I'm very excited.
I mean, I just want to say that this remarkable event, you appearing on a Broadway stage, is such a gift for all the mothers who are telling their kids, no, no, you can go to law school and then be on Broadway. LAUGHTER And they can point at you and say, it worked.
See, it worked.
All you have to do is get in the Supreme Court. You can have any part they want. They will call you up and ask you.
And also, you know, when Justice Breyer was here, he sang from The Music Man.
It's kind of a tradition within the court. A very high bar. Speaking of traditions within the court, I heard that it's a tradition that the junior justice also has to take care of the meals in the cafeteria for the other justices? Yes.
Justice Breyer again told us he did not enjoy that.
you know, I actually like it. What does it entail? Yeah, what do you have to do? Well, we changed some of the services that were available to the justices and the staff during my tenure, so I feel very proud of it.
Oh, well, hold on. Give us an example.
Yeah, I know.
I mean, you can't talk about cases and controversies. Tell us about entrees.
Well, we didn't have online ordering before. And in my former court, you had an app on your phone and you could send down for a sandwich and then go pick it up and not have to wait in the big public line. And when I got to the Supreme Court, I was like, this is outrageous. You have to stand in a line to get a sandwich?
I don't know. I so hate apps. that as much as I admire and love you, I cannot support that idea.
Oh my God, Paula's reading her dissent from the bench. Yes! So, in you, Justice Jackson went to college with Mo Rocca right here, is that right?
I did. Right.
And you were a theater person.
Yes. Right? Mo and I knew each other in college, which was fantastic.
And we were in a terrific, I mean, I'm telling you, a terrific production.
A terrific production.
Of Little Shop of Horrors.
That is correct. That is correct.
And it was so much fun.
It was fantastic.
And you were great.
You were great.
I was really good. Okay, bye. But it was my birthright as a nerd to play Seymour.
It's the pinnacle of every theater person's dream to perform with Mo Rocca, but you also... Didn't you also get to perform in some way with Matt Damon when he was a student there?
Well, we were in a class together, a drama class, and Matt Damon at that time, and Mo might know this, I don't know, but he was kind of well-known on campus and in the local community because he had already started doing community theater. Right. And so we took a drama class and the teacher paired us up for a scene. You and Matt Damon. Me and Matt Damon.
And it was kind of exciting because I thought, oh, this guy's going to go on and be a real actor.
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm feeling insecure right now. I feel like I'm getting already eclipsed.
Mo, you were fantastic in The Martian, Mo. You were great. Fantastic.
So anyway, about Matt. So you were paired with... Matt Damon, Matt Damon, Matt Damon, Matt Damon. We were paired for a scene.
And, you know, we did the scene, and it was some play that didn't have a whole lot of action, like waiting for Godot or something, where you're just sitting on the stage.
One of those boring ones.
But at the end, the professor said, oh, Ketanji, you were so good. Matt, we'll talk. No. Yes. Yes. And I was like, oh my goodness! I was so excited. Oh my God, that is just terrible.
Wait, so I'm going to be sincere really quickly. That photograph of your daughter looking at you during your confirmation hearing was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life. Oh my goodness. Thank you. It was remarkable. It was, you know, I showed it to my kids and I said, what the hell's the matter with you?
They don't look at you like that, Paula. They do not.
Well, Justice Jackson, we are so thrilled to have you with us. And we're asking you here to play a game we're calling Supreme Meet the Supremes. We were thinking about the Supreme Court, and that made us, of course, think about Diana Ross and the Supremes. Oh, amazing. So we're going to ask you three questions about that greatest of all girl groups.
Get two of them right, you'll win a prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Justice Jackson playing for?
Kurt Gallagher of Suffern, New York. All right.
You ready to do this? I'm ready.
Now, again, having read your book and seen you in action, I'm guessing that you were the kind of person who takes this seriously, even if you know you shouldn't.
Probably. Yeah. Yeah.
All right. Your first question. The Supremes had 12 number one hits, like famous ones, Stop in the Name of Love, but some of their early singles did not find much success, like which of these? A, a song about a lonely fox during a snowy winter, B, a song about how the singer's boyfriend eats too much popcorn, or C, a song called Go in the Name of Love?
Oh, my goodness. Well, I'm going to eliminate C, I think.
Right.
Um... I'm going to say Fox in the Snowy Winter.
You're going to say Fox in the Snowy Winter?
No, I'm not going to say that. I'm going to say Popcorn. Popcorn. You are.
She does think on her feet. She does. Come on, context clues. You are quick. Yes, you sensed my skepticism and you got it correct. The song... The song was called Buttered Popcorn, came out of the Motown music factory there in Detroit, and Motown stopped promoting it after someone told them that the lyric, he likes it greasy and sticky, could be construed to have a double meaning.
Love child, love child.
Yeah. Okay. That was very good. Here's your next question. One day in the 1990s, a stretch limo driver got a call from Diana Ross's manager with a question. What was the question for that stretch limo chauffeur? Was it A, if that driver could look for Miss Ross's heart chakra, which she insists she had left in that car? Yeah. B, if the driver was available to take Ms.
Ross on a trip through a car wash, which she loved, and a stretch limo, of course, would make it last longer. Or C, if he could turn up the heat because Ms. Ross, who was sitting in the back seat at that very moment, was a little chilly. That's got great.
All right. I'm going to say chilly.
You are right again. Yes! Here is your last question. Miss Ross, known, of course, as one of the quintessential divas, as we just illustrated, she does, in fact, try to stay humble. For example, she went on social media in 2017 to express her sincere gratitude for what? A, the fact that a song she recorded in 1974 hit number one again.
B, she was grateful for her daughter sharing her Netflix password with her. Or C, she was grateful for the stranger who turned in her fanny pack after she lost it at Marshalls. Diana Ross with a fanny pack?
Diana Ross at Marshalls? I'm going with the fanny pack.
You're right again. The tweet read, thank you for the angel. I lost my fanny pack at the Marshalls on Olympic and someone turned it in. What a blessing. So Bill, how did Justice Jackson do on our quiz? Three in a row. Perfect. Katanja Brown Jackson's memoir is called Lovely One. Justice Jackson, thank you so much for gracing us here with your presence. Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, Associate Justice Katanja Brown Jackson. In just a minute, a brand new meaning of runaway bride. That's in our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Joyelle Nicole Johnson, and Mo Rocca. And here again is your host at Carnegie Hall in New York City, Peter Sagal.
Thank you so much, Bill. In just a minute, Bill, like history, does not repeat himself, but sometimes he rhymes. If you'd like to play our Listener Limerick Challenge, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.
Paula, the life of a parent can be hectic, as you yourself well know, which may be why a recent poll found that one-third of parents regularly eat what for dinner? Oh, their kids' food. Yes, exactly. Their kids' leftover lunches, specifically.
In order to save time and money, about 30% of parents around the country admit to regularly eating the leftovers from their kids' school lunches for their own dinner. Now, I trust researchers, but I'm calling this one out. It is not 30%. Every parent does this. 100%. Some just don't want to admit how delicious Uncrustables are.
The poll found that most lunches consist of your classic sandwich and chips, and so that's what you get for dinner, but you know that if you will be eating the leftovers, why not, you know, play to that outcome? You know, your kid's like, oh, why did mom pack me a pan-seared halibut and a glass of Chardonnay again?
My daughter's bus driver came to me one time because he was giving her a pink slip for bad behavior for something on the bus. But the reason he was upset is because he went to take a nap on the bus one day. You know, when the kids were not, obviously. He went to take a nap. And he laid down in what was my daughter's seat. And he smelled this horrible smell.
And she had been taking the fruit that I, you know, put in the Tupperware in her lunchbox and shoving it under the seat. And so there's a horrible rotten fruit smell. And, of course, I was upset because I said I was going to eat that.
Yeah. Joelle, new research finds that of all the Christmas songs, Frosty the Snowman is the most what?
The most one that people hate.
That may well be true, but not according to science. Let me give you a hint. I mean, think about it. You might poke your eyes out on that sharp carrot nose. Dangerous? Dangerous. It's the most dangerous holiday song. Yes, Frosty the Snowman has been deemed the most dangerous Christmas carol. We'd say danger is Frosty's middle name, but his middle name is the...
So researchers in China showed that songs with a high tempo can be distracting to drivers, right? So an insurance company applied that formula to holiday songs and discovered that the tempo of Frosty the Snowman, which is 172 beats per minute in most popular versions, is a ticket to the danger zone, right? Plus, the chorus just fits too perfectly with plow through a school zone.
So now that they've warned, this insurance company has warned people about this, then they will deny all claims.
Exactly. And back we are. Yeah. Yeah. Joyelle, we have AI assistants. Some people have AI companions. Now, phone companies have introduced another kind of artificial person, an AI what? Customer service? Oh, we've got that, and it's terrible. Oh, it is. Oh, oh. I'll give you a hint. I'll give you a hint. It even pinches your cheeks and gives you Werther's original hard candies.
AI grandmama?
Yep, AI grandmas. So a British phone company called O2 has unveiled their new AI grandma. She's designed specifically to frustrate phone scammers who prey on the elderly. Right?
I actually like that.
Right? Right. Instead of taking money from your grandma, they get stuck with her and she's able to keep them on the line for 40 minutes or more by misunderstanding what they're saying just enough to get them to keep trying to explain. It is absolutely spooky how realistic she is. Every 10 minutes, this AI grandma tells you you're so brave for living in New York and taking the subway.
She's named Daisy. She loves chit-chat, talking about her kitten. At press time, she has tied up over 1,000 spammers and convinced more than two dozen of them to visit her more often. I love that.
AI terrifies me, but I actually like that. You really like that? Mm-hmm. You think you'd like an AI grandma? I don't know. My grandma was mean. I think she should be a little mean. Like, Daisy should be like, sit down somewhere. Yeah.
Was your grandmother... just run-of-the-mill mean, or was she wicked?
Ooh, she had an evil cat, and this is why I hate cats, and the cat would, like, hide under the table and scratch us, all the kids, when we'd walk past, but he never messed with Grandma because he knew, and she knew he was scratching us, but she didn't care. Wow.
That's harsh.
Yeah. Wow. I didn't realize until right now that I should talk to my therapist about that. Yeah.
Coming up, it's lightning fell on the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call and leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks back at the beautiful Studebaker Theater in Chicago. For tickets and info, just go over to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, Peter. My name is Erin, and I'm calling from Hamburg, New York.
Hamburg, New York. I don't know where that is. Where is it exactly?
It is about 20 minutes south of Buffalo and not far from where the Bills Stadium is. Oh, really? We're under about two to three feet of snow at the moment.
Okay. Well, that just makes you people thrive, right?
Yeah, we're just playing to the stereotype and loving every minute.
It just cushions the blow when you jump at the folding table before the games to have the snow on. Aaron, Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Those are the rules. Are you ready to do it? I'm ready. Let's go.
Here's your first limerick.
Waking early to sweat is no fun, so I don't want to be your plus one. The weddings I choose feature live bands and booze, not a nuptial day five-mile long.
Run? Yes, very good. This week, the New York Times told us about a new wedding trend where in the morning of the ceremony, the bride and groom make the guests go for a run with them, even putting on sometimes a pre-wedding 5K. There's nothing like starting a day with all the people who love you, giving them a reason to hate you.
This sounds worse than a destination wedding.
Right. It's like, yes, you have to go somewhere and you have to get there on foot. And now most cases of these weddings, the run is not required, but the reception is 3.1 miles away from the church, and it starts now. Would you do this if you were invited to a wedding and there was a group run on the morning of the wedding? Would you go?
No, I didn't do any of the excursions on the last wedding I went to. I don't like excursions.
I would do it if instead of handing out glasses of water, they were giving heavy hors d'oeuvres along the way.
You're running by and you grab a can of pain and stuff it in your face. I like that. All right, here is your next limerick.
When we plants get too thirsty and dry, we make sounds that are piercing and high. We let out a wail, and the moths all set sail. And they don't lay their eggs when we... Cry.
Right, yes. Moths avoid plants if the plants are crying. Great. Plants cry now. Come on, as if we didn't have enough to deal with. So, what does plant crying actually sound like? According to the Times, plants, quote, cry a mournful melody, unquote, consisting of ultrasonic clicking. It's not bad. It's why one of the most popular YouTube channels is Plant Dying ASMR.
Remember the Venus fly trap? Yes. I could order one by mail, and I was so excited to get a Venus fly trap. I think it was from Ronco, and I kept catching house flies. Did you really? I really did, and it was kind of great, because you put a fly in there, and then it would react, but I just choked that thing. I just kept putting so many flies.
You overfed your Venus fly trap?
Yes, I did. I mean, the last sound I heard was just crying, like, stop it, I can't...
That's really interesting that you were feeding flies to your personal Venus flytrap, and yet you are not today a serial killer. I think that's such a sign of your resilience. All right, here is your last limerick.
Preppy parents are not being cruel. We think Kingsley and Forrest are cool. Those names sound real neat. They shout social elite like they go to an Ivy League party.
Yes, the hottest trend in baby names this year is names that conjure up the image of an Ivy League educated elite. You know, names like Whitaker or Kingsley or Forrest, something that suggests old money and, quote, can commit any crime because dad knows the governor. So that means that if this trend holds, 18 years from now, Harvard and Yale freshmen will be named like Harvard and Yale freshmen.
It's frustrating. This happened right after we had a child and named him Little University of Phoenix Online Cycle. Bill, how did Erin do in our quiz?
How did Erin do? Well, you've got to give it to her. All three. Way to go.
Congratulations. Bye-bye. Thank you for having me, and happy holidays to all.
Thank you. You too.
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Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many Fill in the Blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Mo and Joyelle, three. Paula, two. All right. Paula, that means you are in second place. That means you're going to go first.
The clock will start when I begin your first question. Ready to go?
Yeah.
Fill in the Blank. On Wednesday, Christopher Wray, the director of the Blank, announced he would resign at the end of President Biden's term.
The head of the FBI.
Right. On Thursday, the president of South Korea defended his decision to declare blank in that country last week. Martial law. Right. This week, GM announced it was abandoning its plans to develop a line of blank-less taxis. Blankless. Driverless. Right. On Tuesday, the CDC proposed a new rule that would greatly reduce the amount of blank and tobacco products. Nicotine. Right.
This week, a man in the UK who was arrested for the 59th time told the judge blank. I like it here. No, he told the judge... He told the judge, quote, I think this time I really have learned my lesson. On Monday, FIFA announced that Saudi Arabia had won the bid for the 2034 blank. Soccer champion thing. I'll give it to you. World Cup. World Cup.
This week, a senator said that mysterious blanks above New Jersey should be shot down if necessary. Drones? Right. During a parade in Palm Springs this week, a motorcycle cop who wanted to impress the crowd did a wheelie and then blanked. Uh, fell off. No, he did a wheelie and then crashed into the crowd, sending 10 people to the hospital. Oh, my gosh.
During the Festival of Lights this week, the motorcycle cop popped up on one wheel, lost control of the bike, and knocked down 10 people. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured until the ambulance taking them to the hospital tried to do a wheelie. Wow.
Bill, how did Paula do in our quiz? Six right. 12 more points. Her total to 14. Puts her in the lead.
Okay, I have arbitrarily chosen Moe to go next. Moe, fill in the blank. On Thursday, President Biden sent a single-day record for presidential blanks. Pardons. And commutations. On Tuesday, Russia confirmed that they had granted asylum to the deposed president of blank. Syria. Right. This week, residents were told to evacuate as a blank swept through Malibu. Fire. Yes, wildfire.
On Thursday, a watchdog group reported that the FBI had missed basic steps in their intelligence gathering before the attack on the blank. Capital. Right. This week, Russia announced it was sending, quote, 100 elite blanks to North Korea.
100 elite... I mean, fighters would just be too obvious, so... Clowns. 100 elite goats... Wow. They were the GOAT, the greatest of all time GOATs.
Elite GOAT is kind of redundant, yes. On Wednesday, Bill Belichick agreed to a five-year coaching deal with blank.
You know, I'm going to say it's the University of North Carolina.
You're right. Okay.
Look at that.
Well, hello. To combat overcrowding, an airline in Japan announced plans to deliver passengers blank directly to their hotels. Oh, their package. This week, the elaborate wedding proposal of a couple under a giant Christmas tree near Radio City Music Hall near here was interrupted by blank.
It was interrupted by the lighting of the Christmas tree.
No, it was interrupted by a rat running out of the Christmas tree just as the man got down on one knee. Yes! The rat's timing... I'd like to think it was... I'd love to think it's Pizza Rat. Pizza Rat, yeah, he's still out there. The rat's timing could not have been more perfect. If you look at the video, he popped out of the tree the moment the man was about to pop the question.
The story has a happy ending, though. The rat said yes. Bill, how did Mo do on our quiz? Settled at 15, and he takes the lead. All right, then. So how many, then, does Joyelle need to win in this, her first appearance on the stage of Carnegie Hall? Seven to win. Here we go, Joyelle. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, GOP lawmakers met with several of blank's cabinet picks.
I don't want to say his name. Sadly, you must. Trump.
Yes, Donald Trump. On Wednesday, a technical issue caused widespread outage of Facebook, Instagram, and the other apps run by blank. Meta? Right. This week, three more people filed charges against disgraced hip-hop mogul blank. Diddy? Yep. On Monday, the Department of Agriculture announced plans to expand the testing of U.S. milk for blank flu.
Swap.
Cow.
Bird.
Yes. This week, a man won the Spanish National Scrabble Championships despite not blanking. Speak in English? No, despite not speaking any Spanish. It was in Spain. Three months after having back surgery, golfer Blank announced he was returning to competition. Tiger? Tiger Woods. On Tuesday, movies and TV shows produced by Netflix scored over 35 Blank Award nominations. Oh, Golden Globe? Right.
This week, the most watched video on TikTok was a woman telling the story of the time she had used an olive oil hair treatment in high school and blanked.
and started dating an Italian dude afterwards. I don't know.
No, I'll tell you what happened. She used too much olive oil, leaving a path of olive oil behind her. Then her cat frightened her. She slipped in the oil, slammed into a door, and passed out. Then she woke up in darkness, didn't know where she was, and couldn't stand because both her legs were asleep, and she was covered in olive oil. She finally got up and tried to run to the door.
When she got to the door, it set off the burglar alarm, which wakes her dad up, and he comes downstairs wielding a baseball bat, thinking there's a burglar. They both scream. The story goes on, but the show is about to end. Bill, did Joyelle do well enough to win?
Well, she and Mo did enough to tie.
Oh, come on, come on.
In just a minute. We're going to ask our panelists to predict after unclaimed mail what will be the next innovation in gift giving. But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ, Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircare Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.
Our tour manager is Shana Dommel. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer. Birthday, Mills, Miles, Drone Boss, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is the ghost of Wait, Wait, Future. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.
Special thanks to Gary Yeck this week. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mr. Michael Danforth. Now panel, what's the next big thing in gift giving? Joelle Nicole Johnson.
Therapy! Yay!
Paula Poundstone. Just whatever's in the trunk of your car.
And Mo Rocca. Instead of an actual present, just a picture of one. Gift giving.
Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it right here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Paula Pounce, Angela McCall-Johnson, Mo Rocca. Thanks to everyone at WNYC, the amazing staff here at Gardner U Hall, and our fabulous audience here in this gem of an institution. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you back in Chicago next week. This is NPR.
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