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These are like conversation condoms, aren't they?
Yeah, a little bit. Well, it's like a safe room. Blocks out the world. Yeah. Conversation only exists inside your ears. You know? Locks you in. I think it locks you in. Yeah. That's what I like about it.
Yeah, it's almost like a football player kind of putting on their helmet.
Right. Ready to go. Ready to go.
You're like, we're ready for this. Yeah.
Yo, how fun was election night at the mothership?
It was baffling, man. I mean, here, I'll tell you. It was, uh...
That was so much fun.
We had such a good time. That green room was so positive. My favorite part, at one point, they were playing that song, you talk about a revolution. People were dancing. People were smoking weed. I think there was a baby smoking weed. Everybody was like, people were like, it was crazy, dude. Adam and Eve were in there.
There was just a lot going on. It felt like... America is brighter. That's what it felt like. We were moving towards this insane world where we're being controlled by liars. We're just being gaslit left and right. We saw it all over the media. We saw it all over the news. Things that were right in front of your face, they're trying to deny. There's just so much craziness.
And then all of a sudden... The world spoke. Did you see the map of the actual country? Like how many places actually voted red?
Oh, no. I don't know if I saw that or not.
It's just a few cities. Even California was mostly red. That's what's crazy.
I don't know if I saw that. I'm trying to think of what I saw. Tony was nervous, remember? Tony better be fucking nervous. Dude, I kept just going up to him and going, Feliz Navidad. To fucking get his vibes.
Look at that.
Oh, wow.
This is the one I saw Jamie else on this, do you? It's got music to it.
This was like when I got that hair surgery. You know what I'm talking about? They play music in the background?
No, but it looks like that pattern. Let me see that again. Yeah, it looks a lot like that, like a transplant. Yeah, micrographs.
Yeah, that's what it looks like, man.
So what I sent you, Jamie, it just shows the entire country. Look at that. Oh, that's interesting. That's crazy. There's no blue states, just blue cities.
Well, then why do you think the cities and states are so much different then?
Well, cities are always going to be blue. It's normal. There's a lot of factors. One of them is... You have massive populations of people, right? And when you have massive populations of people, a lot of times it's based around universities. Like Los Angeles is slightly different because Los Angeles has universities, but really it's like more around Hollywood, which is equally delusional.
But most big cities are flavored by a university. Like Austin is flavored by the University of Texas.
Yeah.
It's why Austin is progressive. Austin is, for people that don't know outside of Texas, Austin is one of the most progressive cities. Like if you look at, we voted in Austin, the city of Austin voted more for Kamala Harris than the city of Los Angeles did.
Oh, wow.
Really? A higher percentage of Democrats voted for Kamala Harris than even Los Angeles.
Well, I think a lot. It seems like a lot like a lot of Democrats. I don't know like a ton about politics, but it seems like a lot of Democrats like it's I understand a lot of the voting because it's hopeful voting. It's like wishful thinking.
Well, they're feeding off of narratives like you're a good person if you believe this. But the consequences are what they're ignoring. The pretending that the economy is in a great place. That's crazy. Talk to anybody who's broke. Talk to anybody who's struggling to pay for bills and groceries. Talk to anybody who's trying to buy a car. The economy is bananas right now. It's sketchy.
Very sketchy.
And a lot of it is... People are robbing each other on Facebook Marketplace.
A lot of it is recovering from COVID, I'm sure. I mean, there's probably a lot of blowback from that. I mean, they shut the whole fucking country down, which is just so nuts.
That was insane, man. I think that's one of the... But yeah, people are robbing each other on Facebook Marketplace. My buddy was going to buy a couple of walkie-talkies off a guy, right? Gets fucking mugged, right? Really? Yeah. He was going to buy a couple of... So he meets the guy to go get the walkie-talkies and the guy mugs him? That's like the seventh story I've heard.
But it's like, you know, people are doing crime, you know, people are resorting to crime. And that's when it's not good, I feel like.
Well, not just that. When people are resorting to crime. This administration did that I think is terrible. And this is a progressive liberal thing, is that you have these DAs, these George Soros-funded DAs that just let people out for violent crime. And get the no cash bail thing. And when there's no repercussions for crime, guess what? Crime goes way the fuck up.
Oh, yeah. If I'm a criminal and they're like, hey, it's crime time or whatever, I'm going to fucking put on my cleats or whatever.
I'm going to get out there. You're going to go to jail and you're just going to get released.
Yeah. It's like catch and release. It's almost like the fishing rules or whatever.
Like if you go trout fishing in the lake. Yeah. I mean, a little bit. You're a fly fisherman. You used to be a cop. Now you're a fly fisherman with barbless hooks. You just have a pair of Nikes on the hook. You just put them out there. Yeah, those fishermen, they use barbless hooks. And then they let the fish go. I went fly fishing recently. Yeah? Yeah, man.
Did you have a good time? Yeah, you know what I did? I thought it was like... Let me think about what I thought it was like. Uh...
It's the more sophisticated way to go fishing.
Yes, it was like, excuse me, fish. Yes, gentle cast. Yes. It was like, hey.
It also requires a lot more skill.
Well, it requires more patience.
For sure.
You can't, like, if you have a kid or whatever, you can't do it. Right. Like, if you're just fishing on the bank, you can have your kid, and you can be sitting there smoking or whatever your kid likes to do, you know? But if you're in that, you have to constantly be moving it.
Right.
You know? It's very kind of like... It's kind of homoerotic almost. It's like, hey, fish, or whatever.
Oh, it's flailing.
It's gentle.
I think so. Yeah, dude, you ever seen those guys? Homoerotic. It's like, hey, fish, I'm over here. I'm over here, boys.
Well, the least sophisticated form of fishing is like a bobber with a worm on it. Yeah. Right? That's the least. You throw it out there. But that's some of the most fun fishing because that bobber starts moving. You're like, oh, shit.
Yeah. Oh, shit. I think we got one. Oh, shit. It's like Jaws all of a sudden.
Fishing is so exciting.
Yeah. My grandma used to take us fishing, dude, and she was like a...
malignant fisherman or whatever and she would um degenerate yeah like very she was like a staunch fisherman like staunch like we're fishing you know oh aggressive you better not fucking not fish you know she would like kind of have that kind of behavior yes she was very you better fucking fish white boy whoa you know she would kind of be like that yes very aggressive right about fishing for little kids yeah
And we'd have to be quiet and look straight out and wait for the bobber. But she was really, she loved to fish.
Did she love to eat fish?
Yep. She liked to skin them and grill them and everything.
Yeah. Yeah, it was cool. What kind of fish?
Mostly catfish, bullheads. We used to fish up in like Spoon River up in like Illinois.
Did you guys use like chicken liver? Yeah. Yeah.
We would get out there. We'd have a little thermos full of chicken liver.
Yeah, chicken liver works, man.
My grandfather would say anything and she'd fucking look at him. He wouldn't talk for a month after that.
She was the fisherman.
She was. The fisher woman. Yeah, she loved to fish. I think she liked catching her own meals. She didn't like to hunt, but she liked to fish.
What's that fucking dude's name? The chubby dude that dressed up like the devil and everybody got mad. He's a singer. Sam. What's that? Sam Smith. Sam Smith. Yeah. He... He said he wanted to be a fisher them. Oh, God. Not a fisherman, a fisher her, a fisher she. A fisher them. Yeah, that's wild. The they them thing, that's the best evidence you need that people are out of their fucking minds.
You can't be plural, you fucking idiot.
Stop. The only thing I think it's like, it's almost...
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if you're being plural, you're, I don't understand it. Like if you're being plural, are you being like, there's more of me kind of like, that's what I understand. Is it like an ego trip? Like that's, you know, like that's what I don't understand about the.
It's just a way to be unique and it's a way to be in a marginalized community if you're just a regular person. So like if you're a regular white person, you're at the lower end of the social hierarchy amongst woke people. But if you're queer or non-binary, Now you're in a protected group.
My buddy's queer, actually.
Nice. What does he have to do to be queer?
Nothing. He's cool. He's just... He doesn't... Yeah, he didn't, like, send you an email update or whatever.
He's just... Did he update his Twitter pronouns? No.
He's just like a... Just decides he's queer. Yeah. He's like a secret... Not secret. He's like... He's just like a, or I don't even know what they call it. I got to look at the chart or whatever.
What is queer these days? Because when I was a kid, queer was gay. If someone was queer, they're gay. Or if you got punched in the head, then you're on queer street. It was like everything was confusing. Queer was confusing. Okay. And then queer became gay somewhere along the line. But now I think queer is whatever you want it to be.
Yeah.
You could be gay, bi, straight. And then you could be pansexual.
And what is that?
Exactly. That's what Wayne Brady is. He's pansexual? He came out. Damn. Came out as pansexual.
I don't know what that means. I can barely handle whatever I am, dude. To be real honest, bro.
It's all so new.
Whatever I am, bro, it keeps jerking off at night and being afraid to talk to women. So whatever that one is, that's what I am, bro.
You're theosexual. Oh, it's fucking getting kind of heady, man. You're theosexual. Why are you afraid to talk to the women?
No, I don't know. You know, I think I get afraid to, like, I just, I've always got afraid to approach women, you know?
Yeah. But wow, you're a handsome fellow. You're funny. You're successful.
I don't know. I think something I just... Childhood shit? Yeah, probably. There's something, you know, just... Yeah, like I just... I would just be so fucking nervous, buddy. You know, when I was a kid, I would be so nervous. I would... Yeah, I would be so nervous.
Which is interesting that you got into stand-up comedy, which makes people really fucking nervous.
Well, I think I was familiar with being nervous, so that didn't affect me.
Oh, interesting, because you're nervous all the time. You're like, fuck it, I'll just go be nervous in front of all these people.
Oh, the audience is, when you're on stage, the audience is just a woman. Oh, like you're just trying to get them to like you. You're just trying to get, yeah, you're like, how do we get this to work out, you know? How do I get you to like me more? Who do I have to be? Dude, the other night was crazy. Sorry, I cut you off.
No, no, go ahead.
I got nothing, man. No, the other night was crazy. This week's been crazy. It's just been a crazy week. Yeah. You know? It's been a crazy week, man.
It was interesting because the beginning of the night, no one knew what was going to happen. So you're watching the first results roll in, and there's like this weird thing. And then Trump gets way ahead, but you're like, you don't want to get too hopeful. Like, how far ahead is he? He's ahead by 100 points. That seems like a lot.
Yeah. And you're like, what is it? And some channels are like, and then every channel is kind of different.
Yeah. They had different numbers. I was getting a different number off my Apple news update than I was getting off of CNN. And then I was texting people like Tulsi and JD Vance. I was getting a different up. Apparently Elon created an app. And he knew who won four hours before the results.
So as the results were coming in, four hours before they called it, Dana White told me, Elon was like, I'm leaving. It's over. Donald won. He just fucking somehow or another... I'm going to go back into my pod and evaporate.
I don't know what he's getting, where he's pulling his data from, but he had the most accurate data in terms of the rural states hadn't put their results in yet, but yet Trump was ahead in these states. Kamala's never going to win those states, so tabulated that and put it all together. I don't know how he did it. I haven't even talked to Elon about this. I don't know, like...
the Dana translation, but Dana said he had an app, and he was, like, showing them. He's like, it's over. He fucking left. Dude just left.
It's over. Jon Jones won.
He's just fucking left.
Dude, yeah, I mean, the whole thing's crazy to me. I'm so happy for... My biggest thing was I was so happy for Bobby Kennedy, man. Yeah. Because he's the only person that I super know, like, as a human, you know? Uh-huh. He's been a buddy of mine for years, and I've just known that he's a... I trust him. It's almost like you have people that you know and that are good people.
I have to trust my own instincts at some point and know I know him. He's somebody I would vouch for. He's a good guy and he's been helpful to me in moments where I have struggled as a person and just... been inspirational to me. You know, it's like, I know him, you know, like a friend.
And so, so that's, I think like, that was something I was like super excited about just to see where everybody was like, screw this guy, you know, and to see him have a arc where it's like, cause all he ever cared about to me. And I don't know, this is just my opinions, dude. Some people, everybody has their own opinions and I'm an idiot, but
But he always cared about the rivers and the environment. And then he started to care about the environment inside of our bodies. So for me, that all makes sense.
We know where it all happened from, right?
That was what I was super excited about.
Do you know how he made the transition to being worried about pharmaceutical drugs? He would give these speeches and he litigated a bunch of lawsuits against corporations that were polluting rivers. They cleaned up the East River. He was an environmental attorney. And they were also talking about the effects of mercury poisoning in the soil and water.
And these women kept coming to these things that he was doing and saying, you need to investigate mercury in vaccines. And, you know, he thought, like, that is, like, which most people think. You hear vaccine, like, the last thing I want to be labeled is a vaccine skeptic. Jesus Christ. A vaccine denier.
That's like, I mean, we talked about this yesterday, but it's like Holocaust denier is number one. But vaccine denier and election denier are, like, right under there.
And he started looking into it, particularly the MMR vaccines and the correlation between the uptick of all these autoimmune issues, autism spectrum disorders, all these different things that coincided directly with the increase in the vaccine schedule for kids. And so then he starts doing research on it.
And the more he does research on it, the more it gets uncovered that there's this gigantic machine that's protecting all of this because there's so much money that's being generated. And most of it has to do with during the Reagan administration, they they gave them immunity to prosecution. So they couldn't there were no longer liable for whatever side effects the vaccines.
Yeah, that's that's pretty wild.
Yeah, and then, of course, these motherfuckers started giving little kids, little babies that were just born hep B vaccines. What are you doing? You get that from needles and sex.
Yeah, unless it's Pam Anderson's baby, dude. I wouldn't put anything in that kid, you know? And I don't even know if she has any kids or not. And I love Tommy Lee, so I shouldn't have said that.
Well, you fucked up. It's a joke. What are you going to do? It's a fucking joke.
Yeah, sorry. Everything's okay.
I feel the same way about Bobby. I don't know him as well as I know Tulsi, though. Yeah, I don't know her. Tulsi's a good friend of mine. I love her. She's great. She's an awesome person. She's like a legitimate, awesome person. That lady, she served as a congresswoman for eight years. And the whole time, she was against this divide of right versus left.
She was always trying to be cool with everybody. She served overseas. She was deployed overseas in a medical unit, man. So she was helping people that got blown up by the war. Twice. That's where she got that crazy white streak in her hair. Really? Yeah. That all came from the stress of being overseas working in a medical unit.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess... can stress be that compartmentalized inside of you and it comes out like that?
Your body's, you can't imagine, you know, I was just talking to my friend Bruce about this last night. He was a cop in Austin. We were talking about the amount of death that most police officers see and the stress that has on you. And what he was telling me is you take like a cop that has like 20 years in the job. They, what they see is probably 10 X what the average soldier who's deployed sees.
Hmm.
Because you're seeing murder all the time. You're seeing car accidents all the time. Suicide all the time. Domestic violence all the time. You're pulling people over. You never know if you're going to get shot. He goes, most of these guys are fucked up because they're just constantly seeing this stuff. Constantly.
Oh, yeah. I'd be at home out here. Somebody opened a jar of Pringles and I'd fucking pull on them, you know? Yeah. You hear that top pop? Yeah. What's going on? Dude, we had a police officer on a few years ago or about a year ago. Can you look this up? Jamie, is it okay to ask him to look something up?
Yeah, sure.
Okay. It's a police officer.
How long ago?
Yes. This guy, retired police officer, Sergeant Brad White. This guy was super unique. He lived in Los Angeles, but he told this story. He he he was he didn't have any political thoughts. He just told stories of what it was like being a police officer. And he told the story of his first day on the job. They're chasing a guy. The guy runs into traffic, gets hit by a vehicle and killed. Right.
So even as just a human being, you're just doing a job, but then you're trying to compartmentalize or what effect did I have on this? He told this story of a mother had called and said that her son was... was thinking about committing suicide, right? The mother meets him in the yard. He shows up. He's a police officer. It's outside of Los Angeles, I think in Whittier Police Department.
I could be wrong. He shows up. The mom meets him outside. They see the son comes into the doorway, right? It's like a glass door with another door behind it, kind of. Takes his own life, right? Kills himself right in front of them. So now he's standing there with the mom.
Oh, my God.
Now he has to go, he has to go, he has to console the mother, then go inside of the home. He walks inside. The door won't open because the man's body is there, right? He's having trouble getting it open. Even just that moment. He gets it open. Something falls off of the ceiling down the back of his shirt. And it's part of the guy, his brain matter. He had shot himself on the ceiling.
So I know that's graphic and stuff. But and then for the next three or four hours, he has to take care of this scene with this little feeling between his bat wings or whatever. What is that? No, inside of your body.
Shoulder blades.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's just like, that's just a regular guy. He might not even have finished college or something. So just the baffling amount of stuff that police go through. Anyway, I was trying to just like, those are stories that stuck with me when I spoke with that guy. It was like unbelievable.
It's just conveniently ignored by most people who will never be police officers. And then that was one of the more offensive things about the George Floyd thing. All this defund the police shit where people rose up and were saying defund the police. And I mean, defund the police. And Kamala Harris was one of them. She was out there tweeting defund the police. And because of that.
Crime just ramped up in certain communities and so many people wanted the police back. But then it's, you know, it's a long process to try to... And to this day, most of these cops don't have good morale. They still have this feeling of defund the police was just a couple of years ago. It's hard to get people to be cops now. They don't want that fucking job. And why would they?
It's a fucking hard job.
Yeah. And they don't even... I think the highlight, like they usually, they used to play like softball in our area against like the fire department. That was like the highlight of it. You know, it was like having like competition, you know, but I don't even like if you defund them, they're not even super funded. You don't ever see a cop with like a boat or, you know what I'm saying?
Like you don't. A baller cop. Yeah.
If you think about how hard that job is, like hard jobs should pay more. Yeah, dude. I think if you paid them too much, though, then they just quit. Like, I got enough. I'm out. Yeah, I don't know if he talks. Because what's harder, being a rapper or being a cop? It's fucking way harder being a cop. Oh, yeah. I think, yeah. But rappers get paid way more.
That's true. I think a lot of cops will start making albums from their cars. Yeah. But there really should be some there should be a great producer that goes on a ride along with a police officer this is gonna happen watch and makes a Dope track with a cop right and the and you could make a dope need of so much great visuals right and the proceeds go towards Supporting the police department.
Yeah, like the cop could like be saying shit from behind the wheel and you can sample that Yeah sample that and turn them into songs we got
In pursuit.
5150.
Isn't that when someone's crazy?
Oh, yeah. That's crazy right there. That's 50. I think 44.
Is this cop rap? What is this? Grammy-nominated rapper, Sacramento police officer, records new deployment recruitment video.
Pull him up, man.
No.
I looked. I just figured there could have already been one.
What's that, 51-50? What do you have to do to be a Grammy-nominated? Grammy-nominated doesn't impress me. Like, Grammy-winning, that impressed me. Grammy-nominated, who nominated you?
Yeah. My Grammy won't nominate anybody. She liked Traveling Wilburys.
You didn't?
I mean, I didn't. I mean, if my grandfather showed up and said, hey, they're good, I respect that a little bit more, but that's just me, you know. Lainey Wilson I love. She's great. Red Clay Strays, Stephen Wilson Jr.
Red Clay Strays are great. They're good, huh? Yeah. There's good music out now. It's a good time for music because you could find things so easily. You don't have to wait for the radio. You just find stuff. People send you stuff. Like in the green room all the time, someone will play something. I go, what is this? And they'll shazam it. Like, oh, shit. It's nice.
That Shazam thing, that feature is so huge. Yeah. You know on Google Pixel phones, there's an option to just have it on all the time. So anytime a song is playing, you can look down at your phone and it'll tell you what song is playing.
I didn't know that.
Do they still do that? I think that's still a feature. I think it's only on the Google Pixel.
What was I thinking? I feel all over the place today, Joe. You ever feel like that?
Oh, yeah. Like you open your life. I haven't been sleeping.
Yeah, I didn't sleep well.
Two days in a row, I didn't sleep. The night of the election, I could not sleep. I got home. I was wired. Did you jerk off or not that night? No, no. I just sat in front of the TV. I was watching Professional Pool sitting in front of the TV. I called Dave Smith. Me and Dave Smith talked on the phone at like 3.30 in the morning. Yeah. And then I finally went to bed, and my wife woke up.
She was like, what happened? Who won? I was like, Trump won in a landslide.
You're like the Spurs.
And then she was up. It was a landslide. It was a crazy landslide. It was the red wave that everybody thought was going to happen in 2022. Hey, Jamie, I'm hearing more and more about what we talked about yesterday, about the amount of people that voted for Biden in 2020. Yeah. Versus the amount of people that voted for anybody in 2016 and for anybody in 2024.
That they're still saying it was a giant jump. That's what I see too. A lot of people think it's bullshit. Could be. There's a lot of people that are getting super suspicious about the 2020 numbers because Biden got more votes than anybody by like 20 million. It's really crazy if you look at the chart.
Well, did they say that the most people they'd ever seen at voting stations were this year?
Yeah.
I don't know what the visual report is for this year.
This is the most consequential election I think I've ever felt. For sure.
For sure.
For sure. The way people felt about it, too. The people on the left thought they were convinced that Hitler was coming. They're convinced that some right wing authoritarian is going to come down and take away all your rights.
And well, that's a that's a that's the media does that.
A hundred percent. But one hundred percent. Not what he was saying. Not what he did for four years in office. It's all the media. And we're all victim of it a little bit. Because you won't defend him or support him if you hear all these things about him because then you've got to defend the fact that, no, he didn't really do that. He's not really a felon. There were only misdemeanors.
Texas voter turnout falls in 2024 election despite record registration numbers. This is just Texas, right? 61% cast ballots, near 6% drop from the 2020 presidential race.
But the difference in the numbers nationwide is what I'm interested in, because the nationwide numbers, they're pretty consistent, like through the entire, like if you look at 2012, it's consistent with 2016, which is also consistent with 2024. The anomaly is 2020. In 2020- Everything goes way up. Way up.
Maybe because people were sitting at home and so bored and they said it's that much to do, you think? Could be.
Could be. Because it was during COVID. Could be a lot of people weren't working, so they did have the opportunity to vote. Voting should be a national holiday.
I agree. I don't understand.
It's crazy that you give some people a complication. Like, imagine if you have a shithead boss. They're like, I got to vote. Why didn't you vote early?
I was working for you, you piece of shit.
Let me go. Let me go vote.
Yeah, I mean, they give Christopher Columbus as a holiday, dude. The Lieutenant Dan of the 1400s. That dude gets a fucking holiday, okay?
Yeah, why don't you go read what that guy did? Let's get rid of Christopher Columbus. They trained it to indigenous people's day. And the indigenous people are like, thanks, after you wiped out 90% of us. Thanks for giving us a day. How about we keep that day? That's fine. But how about we have an election, national election holiday? We could do it one more holiday.
Celebrate it. It's a great day. People can rejoice. Cookouts. Yep. It would take a lot of stress off people, too. It's like today's also a day of celebration. It's not this day that I have to sneak away from work. and be sneaky or whatever, and pee in my car.
It should be a paid holiday. You should expect to have to pay your employees on the day that election comes because everybody should be able to go vote. That's what it should be. We'll talk to Trump about it, making a nationally mandated holiday.
I don't have his number. I don't know. There's a guy in his department. I have his number. We could hook it up.
I know some people.
Yeah, dude, it was just what a crazy week.
Yeah, very crazy. Well, you were one of the first guys to have him on the podcast. Did you have any hesitancy having him on at all? Um...
My brother, actually, my brother's a lot smarter than me, and he said, hey, man, I just want you to think that there could be some reflection from people if you have him on, right? Like you could – some people could be upset about it.
Right.
You know? And I thought about that a little bit, and I was like, well, I don't really – Like, I don't know, you know, like, I have political thoughts and beliefs and stuff like that. And it's like, it's hard to find a group that really embodies them. And if anything, right now, for me, it seems like I don't even feel like these new parties are the same as the old parties.
They're not.
It doesn't seem like this isn't Democrats and Republicans. There's something else transmorphing right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so I thought, like... I thought, well, I think I'm... I just want to be able to have a chance to talk to this guy, you know? And the main thing for me was like... Like you talked about Dana White earlier. He's really... You know, I know that you guys work together and he... You know, I knew that Trump's brother suffered from addiction. Right. I knew that. Right. I heard that or something.
And I looked into it is like, OK, he lost his brother. His brother died of addiction. So I was like, well, that's interesting to me, you know, and I wish that people I wonder if there's more to Donald Trump.
Like, is there more of a way to talk with him about something that means, you know, try to get an emotional well, like more of an emotional well to him that then it seems like that's in the public.
Well, there was a thing that was going on for a while where you were platforming people. This was the idea. Like, if you had on a guy like Trump, you were platforming this bad person. This was this thing.
Yeah, I didn't think about that at all.
But it's an authoritarian way to regulate conversations that let you know more about people. And it's stupid because people don't want to have a nuanced perspective on anybody. Look, this is one of the reasons why I wanted to talk to Kamala Harris. I'm like, I bet there's a person in there. I bet I can get to that person.
Yeah.
I wanted to find that person. I don't want to hear all the speeches. I don't want to hear, I was raised middle class. I don't want to hear any of that shit. She's a roller skater. You know that? No. I would love to find that out. Yeah. I would love to talk to her about all kinds of shit.
I literally said, because there was a few restrictions of things I didn't want to talk about, but I said, I don't give a fuck. I'll go get her in here. Whatever you want to talk about. And they want to know if I edit. I'm like, there's no going to be. We're not going to edit.
Yeah, that's the same thing they asked us. Is there an edit?
I just wanted to talk. I feel like you give someone a couple of hours and you start talking about anything. I'm going to see the pattern of the way you think. I'm going to see the way you process ideas. I'm going to see whether or not you're calculated or whether you're just free. Are you comfortable with you or are you projecting things? She's got 80 different accents.
How do you decide which one to pull out? She busts out different accents depending on who she's talking to. They should have made her talk to a bunch of Chinese folks. I would have loved to hear that accent. I do that too, though.
I like to meet people where they're at. If I see somebody, I'll be like, what's happening, my friend? I like to meet people where they are.
Yeah, she did one with Latinos. We should talk to the Latino acts. I'm like, this is wild. But she's a chameleon. But if you want to be a successful politician, that's probably a good trait. I agree. You know? It's like a comedian that's always on. They kind of get annoying, but if you want to be a comedian, that's probably a good trait.
If you want to be a politician, you should probably be able to melt into your environment and sort of meld yourself with whatever these people want you to be.
Yeah.
You know? Yeah. But maybe not. Maybe it's just like the... I always feel like... The environment of debates, the environment of interviews on television, the environment of anything you're doing in front of an audience, it's so fake. It's such a weird way to talk that you don't get a sense of who the person is.
So, like, when I got to see Trump on your podcast and you were talking about doing cocaine, it makes you like an owl.
Oh, God.
It was hilarious. It was hilarious. But it was like, you got a chance to see that guy as a person trying to figure out, like, who is this psycho I'm sitting here talking to?
I remember that shit. I'll fucking make a nest in my living room, dude. That shit, boy. I'll scoot over to the neighbors and steal some twine in my beak, homie. There's nothing worse than being locked out of your place on cocaine, man.
I can only imagine. You talking to him as a person is almost more valuable than any other kind of speeches he does. Because when he's in front of everybody talking, we're going to make America amazing. Those are great speeches. But you don't like she had an amazing speech when I was like she could win was when she had that one speech about Donald Trump, like scared to debate her.
But he says all these things. But you know what? What I always heard, if you want to say something, say it to my face. And the whole place went crazy. And she was laughing. I didn't see that. Oh, so good. It was her best speech for sure. And it was right when they decided that she was going to run for president.
Maybe that is what got people involved.
Biden stepped down and she had one banger of a speech. She looked young and energetic and like it really made you feel like this is going to be a change. She was hot. She was younger. She was a smoke show.
She's still all right. She got that thang on her, I bet. So this... You know what I'm saying?
I do know what you were saying. That's why it's so crazy.
Because a lot of brothers love her, too. Everybody seems to love her. Look, if the brothers like it, she got that thang on her. That's all I'm saying, you know?
I understand what you're saying. But, like, that one speech was almost enough for her to win. And if she just didn't talk other than speeches... But they needed to do a better job with the speeches because every speech was the same. And the problem with that is we were talking about this, like the internet. You get to see that speech over and over again online.
And then people make compilations of speech.
Right, and then the same thing.
But it's like if someone goes to see your act. They don't understand acts, to develop a bit, it takes months and months and months to really put it together where it's rock solid. And you're going to do it the same way or slightly different every night. And if someone comes to see you and goes, Theo's so full of shit, man.
He told us the other day that it was just the other day. Yeah. But meanwhile, he said it three weeks later. It wasn't just the other day. It was three fucking weeks ago, dude. You're repeating the same shit.
Yeah, you got too many leap years, white boy. Yeah, shit like that.
Exactly. So that's what they feel about a presidential candidate that's telling the same speech over and over. Well, hey, you're not supposed to go see all those speeches. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know? But the thing is about Trump... You're not following the Grateful Dead here. Trump rambles. Trump has a lot, though. Trump has a lot that are repetitive.
He does, but not in the same order. It's like going to see a Grateful Dead show. It's all over the place. You know, he's... When Trump gets out there, he just does... Did you see? He had this long-winded speech about the rocket. That was insane, dude. I'm like, you just won the presidency. Edit that down. You can edit that down. That could be two minutes. Beautiful lines.
I was worried about that in the very beginning of the podcast before we got cooking. When he was talking about Lincoln's bedroom, I was like, oh, boy. Like, where is this going?
I've been to Lincoln's bedroom. How was it? It was okay. I think you can bring it up, actually. It's in Springfield, Illinois.
Oh, it is? No, he was talking about the one that's in the White House.
Oh, no. I've been to just his childhood before he got elected.
Oh, you can go to his childhood home. Oh, wow.
It's really interesting. He used to keep his notes in his hat.
Oh, that was a good move. Pretty cool. He had big-ass hats back then.
That head wallet, baby. He had that bitch on it.
That's a good move. That's a good move. It's like credit cards behind your phone, that kind of thing. Except if you lose your phone, you lose everything. But you ain't losing that big-ass hat. That was fucking long, dude. They did crazy, man. You ever see how many dudes wore fancy hats back in the day? That shit just went away. It did.
Imagine if you were a kid and you were growing up in a hat family. You're like, our family makes hats, bro. I'm balling forever. I'm going to take over this business. And then no hats. If you watch, there's a great outside boxing match in Reno, Nevada between Jack Johnson and I think it's Jim Jeffries. Jim Jeffries? Yes. Not that guy. Another one. Not the comedian.
Now I'm talking about the murderer.
No. Maybe. I don't think so. I think he's just a boxer.
Who was it?
James Jeffries. So see if Jack Johnson versus, this is it. Who killed the people with that Kool-Aid or whatever? There's a video of all these folks that are walking to the event and every man has a fucking hat on, dude. Wow. Look, they all have hats. Look, they all have fancy hats. Look at all these guys. They're taking off their hats, waving their hats. Men left the house with a fucking hat on.
Look at this. Wow. Dude, they all have these fancy hats. What happened? They're all dressed up nice with fancy hats. First of all, good luck seeing anything outside the Republican National Convention with that many people on the streets dressed up in suits. That's it. It's the only time you're ever going to see this. These are like regular men walking on the streets.
Everybody had fancy hats on and a nice button-up shirt and a suit jacket. That's Jim Jeffries right there.
Oh, those guys are good, dude.
James J. Pratt. That's John L. Sullivan.
No way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the guy from Monopoly, too, right there.
He was a bare-knuckle boxer back in the Dizzee. And he was still famous back then.
Wow, look at him putting it all together. That's so cool.
Isn't that cool? So they built this outdoor stadium to watch Jack Johnson beat the fuck out of Jim Jeffries. That's how it goes. Jim Jeffries was trying to make a comeback. He was a little bit older. Back then, bro, boxing would go until someone died. Yeah. They would have, I mean, what's the most rounds they had back then? They were crazy. It was like 80 rounds or something.
Like what's the longest old school boxing match ever, Jamie? I think they had some insane amount of rounds.
That's a good question.
Look at this. The greatest number of rounds was 276. Wow. In a four-hour and 30-minute fight when Jack Jones beat Patsy Tunney and Cheshire in 1825. Holy fuck, dude. Introduced in 1867, each round of a fight would last until someone was knocked down. Oh. Bro, bro, 276 rounds is so crazy. That's when you get all your CTE in an IV bag. You don't have to swallow vitamins.
You just get your CTE just hot pumped into your fucking brain. I'm just joking, Brendan.
110, I guess.
Oh, my God. At New Orleans, that's where it was. In 18, well, he lived to 94. He lived to 1867 or 1867. Oh, because in 1893, it lasted 110 rounds. Oh, my God. Seven hours and 19 minutes. It was declared a no contest, later changed to a draw. Dude, most people couldn't go that long without even looking at their phone, dude. Much less having to fend off a guy. How about having to take a shit?
You're in the middle of a 200-round fight. You have to take a shit.
They should have a diaper round. We have to fight and shit at the same time.
I would bet it would affect your punching power if you just waddle around and shit. Oh, of course.
Dude, I don't think there's a way you can shit and punch at the same time.
It would be very hard.
Look that up. Very hard. Because, yeah, think about it. Yeah.
It would be so soft. You need to tighten all that up if you're going to throw a good punch. Like your ass cheeks tighten because you kind of use your legs as you thrust forward. You really can't shit and punch not effectively. You're going to lose that round. Yeah, we cracked the code, bro. Yeah, we cracked the code. You're going to lose that round. So I guess they probably just pissed themselves.
I know guys who shit themselves in the UFC. Multiple guys. It breaks my heart. I believe Tim Sylvia shit himself in a fight once. Who else? Someone came out there. Michael Chiesa looked over at me once while I was doing commentary, and I think he got called. It was perhaps one of those situations where the fight before ended quicker, so he didn't get as much warm-up time as he wanted. Yeah.
And then all of a sudden he's running out there, and he looked at me. He goes, dude, I'm about to shit my pants. I go, really? He goes, yeah, I'm about to shit my pants. And he won. He went out there and won first round submission. Phew. Because he had to. Because he had to. Yeah. Dude, there's another. So is this the fight? Oh, is this another guy who shit his pants?
Five fighters who pooped their shorts. Yeah, it happens, dude. This guy shit himself a little bit. Dude, I would shit myself if I had to go in there. So that's crazy. Tim Sylvia definitely shit himself. Randleman shit himself. I like that. It happens, man.
Look, you're getting your liver pounded on. You're getting kneed in the guts. Oh, I got in a car accident once and it happened. You shit yourself? I didn't want to. I didn't have a choice. It just happened. It wanted to.
She shit her pants too. Justine Kitsch, congratulations. I bet dudes would pay a lot of money for that on OnlyFans. You sell them shitty drawers. And that's Mark Goddard right there. Call time out, brother. You just stepped in it. Oh, is that what it is? That's the poop? Oh, no!
Imagine if you're, like, face down, if someone's putting you in a rear naked choke, and they didn't clean the mats that good, and the person before shit all over the place. You get pink eye while you're getting your ass kicked.
God, that makes me scared.
Yeah, that's a scary job. That's the scariest job.
You think... Yeah, I went to that fight with you. Or no, I went to that fight. Remember when me and Joey Diaz went? Which one? In New York. Oh, it was... Oh, I was thinking of your fighters. Well, I went and saw the James J. Braddock statue before. It was in New Jersey. Before Dustin and... That last fight that he had. No, the one before the last fight. Justin Gaethje? No, after that.
It was in New Jersey.
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Benoit Saint-Denis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was it? Yeah, he beat up Benoit Saint-Denis and knocked him out.
Islam Makachev.
That was after that. He lost to Islam. That was in Jersey.
Which one was in Jersey? Islam? That one was in Jersey. He didn't beat Islam in Jersey. Right.
So he fought Benoit Saint-Denis, then he gets a title shot against Islam.
Yeah, I went with Joey, and I went to the James J. Braddock statue before. It was awesome, dude. Islam's a monster. He's so good. Yeah, it was crazy. And Joey was like, dude, he was awesome. This is all love, dude. He's fucking tremendous. He's one of a kind. And his book is great, too, if you haven't read his book. But he's sitting there. He'd been eating mushrooms, you know?
And once he even started eating a little, you could see Aaron Rodgers start to look over. He was getting curious. He's like, what is happening? That's hilarious. But by the sixth quarter or whatever, I don't know how the fights go, but it's like by the sixth quarter, he's just rubbing on his thighs, right? He's fucking... He goes, who's winning dog? That's what he kept saying to me.
Oh, I can't wait to see him again.
Joey used to shovel snow for James J. Braddock.
Did he really?
Yep.
Wow. That's crazy.
It's one of my favorite things that I ever learned about him.
That's crazy.
Can you imagine that?
That is crazy.
What else is going on?
I'm going to see him in a couple weeks. He's coming out here. Joey is going to start staying out here for months at a time. He wants to get a place downtown in the club.
I'm going to come back and look in about a week and a half.
Every time he comes, he's like, I got to come out of here, dog. I'm like, come on. We'll make it easy for you. I'm like, we'll make it easy for you. You tell me when you want to come. We'll fly you out, put you up, whatever you want. I'll get you a real estate lady. Let's get the party started. And I'm trying to bring back the church of what's happening now.
Because him and Lee Syatt, they were together when they were at the club together. And I'm like, come on. Let's get the band back together. You guys together were fucking amazing.
There was nothing like it. That show kept people alive.
That show, Joey Diaz's show, was one of the most ridiculous, silly, preposterous shows. It was so ridiculous. And then he went to New Jersey, and here's the problem with Joey in New Jersey. he loves New Jersey, he loves New Jersey people, he needs comedians. And you forget that until you're not with them. And then you're like, oh, this ain't no fun.
You're just talking to plumbers or whoever's got a decent attitude or whatever, you know, decent sense of humor.
That's nice. I like talking to all kinds of people, obviously. But I need comedians in my life. Like, I need vitamins. Like, I need a certain amount of sunlight to get some vitamin D. I need comedians. It's too, like, that night that we had in that green room watching the elections, How many jokes were cracked? How many fucking times did we rag on Tony? Oh, dude. We talked Tony off the ledge.
We did it. Tony's like got statistics.
26% more Puerto Ricans voted for Trump. Bro, he had the Puerto Rican app open on his whoop bracelet. I'm like, they have that? What is that? He was like, how many plantains have sold tonight?
He was fucking losing his mind. They tried to label him as a speaker. They said he was a speaker. A speaker that was at the Trump rally?
He said that Puerto Rico was a pile of garbage. These are human beings.
Was that Adam Wright?
No, that's Obama.
Oh, it is?
A speaker that was at the Trump rally?
He was talking about Puerto Rico as a pile of garbage.
Dude, the simple fact that Obama's talking about Tony Hinchcliffe is crazy. Bro, Obama's doing a Tony Hinchcliffe bit. There's a video of us at the mothership. What is going on? We played it yesterday, but I want to play it again, Jamie. Play the video. It's on my Instagram of Tony is on stage in the main room. By the way, Tony goes on stage. It's like Richard Pryor just showed up. Yeah.
They were going nuts. He murdered. He has 35 minutes on it. He's on stage.
No way!
At the same time?
At the same time, yeah. We're definitely in a simulation.
So this guy was on Fox talking about Tony on one TV while Tony was on stage on the TV monitor.
That's unbelievable.
We did it. He was so nervous because here's what was going to happen. If he lost, you know, so the way these news organizations work, they have outlines for stories. If Kamala wins, they have outlines for stories. If Trump wins, if if Trump lost, they were going to blame it on Tony.
Mm-hmm they had stories where they're gonna blame it on that joke and they were gonna say that that joke turned the tides and made people realize the Trump organizations filled with Nazis and racists and and they were gonna blame Tony and Tony would have been Fucked because then the Trump supporters would have thought that too, right?
So it was like both sides would have disliked Tony Absolutely, absolutely He would have had to go to Puerto Rico or Costa Rica.
Maybe. Mexico. Mexico and Puerto Ricans don't really.
No, they don't even.
They don't get along that well. In fighting, there's always been a giant rivalry between Mexicans and Puerto Ricans. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, man. For sure.
I didn't know that.
Well, you know, there's no prouder group of boxers, I think, in the history of Earth than Mexican boxers.
Oh, yeah.
Mexican boxers are known for a specific style. Like if someone says you fight like a Mexican, dude, that's a huge compliment.
Yeah.
Mexicans like Julio Cesar Chavez, you know, fucking... Canelo Alvarez, Oscar De La Hoya. You can go down the line. Morales. Fuck, man. There's so many. Manuel Marquez. So many, man.
Yeah, they got just so many punches in one punch.
Well, there's a culture of boxing there that goes back so far. With boxing, it's always people that are poor that want to weigh out. And one of the best ways out, if you're a poor young man- Punch your way out. If you can fight, you can make millions. Like Canelo, like Julio Cesar Chavez, like- So it's like the history of people rising through boxing. But there's a similar history in Puerto Rico.
Puerto Rico has a history, a great history of boxing, too. Really? But there was always a rivalry between Mexico and Puerto Rico.
I could see that because you're both Latino cultures and you want to be the best, you know?
Oh, yeah.
I'm trying to think if I've ever been to a boxing match or not.
You should go see Jake Paul versus Mike Tyson. It might be the last boxing match ever.
I don't know if I want to see it.
Do you want to see it if Mike Tyson wins?
I remember watching Mike Tyson versus Roy Jones Jr.
Yeah.
And it was like two guys beating each other up in baby diapers or whatever. Baby diapers? Yeah, bring it up. They were wearing big diapers or whatever.
No, they were wearing cups. There's a protector that boxers wear that's different than the protector that MMA fighters wear. So the protector that boxers wear is foam that covers the front of your hips and things too.
Maybe I'm not thinking about it. Maybe I'm thinking about something else then. But it just kept hugging.
This is what I believe. I believe really, truly, to my core, that they made an agreement where Mike Tyson was only going to hit him to the body full blast. It looked like every time he hit him to the head, he was kind of pulling back.
It just didn't seem like a real fight.
It seemed like a fight to the body, though. Mike was hitting him to the body really hard. And I think he hurt Roy a bunch of times really hard to the body. But, you know, both of these men are 50. Roy, in his day, I maintain to this day, was the greatest boxer I've ever seen.
Wow.
Roy Jones, in his prime, was a freak. Like, I mean a freak, where he wouldn't even throw jabs. He would throw a lead left hook. He would favor that over a jab. But it was as fast as a jab. And people couldn't understand it. Yeah. Because you'd never been in a ring with someone that fast. Have you heard of Roy Jones' highlight reel of KO's? You ever watch, like, Roy Jones' news in his prime?
Uh-uh.
They were executions, son. It was like Mike Tyson in his prime, but a different thing. In fact, in a Nas song, Nas says the new Mike Tyson's Roy Jones. Wow. Roy Jones was just executing people. He was so much faster than anybody. His timing was so good.
He was a sniper.
Oh, my God. He was just so skillful.
Who would you rather knock you unconscious, you think, if you had to pick a good fighter?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe Roy would just put it out quick. Just pop you on the chin.
Roy or Conor, though?
Both of them would knock you out quick. You think? Yeah. And this is his one fight with Roy Jones with Vinny Pazienza. It was the only fight in copy box history where the opponent didn't land a single punch. Wow. A single punch. This was like when Roy was trying to get the referee to stop the fight. Before that, Roy signaled to the referee, stop the fight.
And the referee said no, and then Roy goes like this. He's like looking at Vinny, sorry, I got to do this. I've never even seen that. He just lights it up. Bro, he was so good in his prime. But like all fighters, they stay past their prime, and people really only remember them for when they lost.
Yeah.
Roy in his prime was just something completely special.
He had an Allen Iverson vibe.
You went to watch him just to see how long guys would last. That's what you would watch, to see what he would do to guys.
I did a fishing rodeo with him once.
Did you really? Yeah. He's a big fisherman. He dropped his hands, put them behind his back, and knocked the guy out. Lured the guy in and hit him with one straight right hand and dropped him. He would just be toying with dudes.
That's crazy, dude. I can't even get a fucking medium jacket off of my body, and this guy's doing this shit? That's what blows my mind, dude.
Roy was so good. He was so good. And everybody that went in there. He cooked that brother right there. There's a thing that happens when a guy's going to fight. You would see it with Anderson Silva. Who is that, Bill Cartwright? Who's he fighting? I don't know. Some dude is in real trouble. They should have stopped this fight already. That dude did not need to take those other two punches.
Dude, he was so fast.
Yeah, dude. Tony was. Tony was.
He was terrified.
He was terrified. Tony was terrified. Right when I walked in, I hadn't seen him in months. I'm just fucking grilling him. I'm like, there he is. I'm like, who's an island now? That's what I said. He's fucking sitting there.
Who's an island now? Did you really say that to him?
Yeah. And here's the best thing about Tony, though. He laughed. Like, Tony is for the joke, right?
Oh, yeah.
Like, even if he's, like, going through it, he respects the joke.
Always. Always.
There's many layers to that whole thing. It's like, Tony is who he is. Yeah. And you almost, you respect that to the core. Was it the best timing? Probably not, right? No. Was there a lot of supervision over what he said? No.
No. Probably not. But that just shows how disorganized that meeting was.
It's disorganized, but it's also real. So it's like there's two ways to look at it. It's like, yes, it's like nobody proofread it.
You fucking dumbass.
Don't you know?
We did it. Yeah, he's just so silly. But he's the guy. But he laughs at himself. Oh, totally. But also he's, it's weird because it's like, do you want things to be tailored or do you not want them to be tailored? You know? Yeah. It's like you could have a group that goes through every single joke and says no to everything. Right. And then you get nothing. You know what I'm saying?
It's like how many layers of like when you drain spaghetti or whatever I'm talking about. Like how many layers of. Spaghetti. Nah, shit. I don't know. It's been a long year.
I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. But I think when you get to a certain level of your career, you've got to say no to things that are outside of comedy. If you're just coming up and someone says you want to go speak in front of the president, go out there. Make a mark, soldier. Give it your best.
But if you're Tony Hinchcliffe and you just did the Tom Brady roast, Kill Tony's the number one comedy podcast in the world. You have millions and millions of downloads every week. Don't do that. It's just too comedy. You're really good. I just was trying to tell people if you saw those same jokes on stage, he kills fucking crushes. It's just the worst environment ever for it. Lights are bright.
It's in the day.
Yeah.
No one knows a comedian. He goes up cold. No one goes on after him. There's like his big ass pause after him. The whole thing was like organized terribly, terribly. Just complete disorganization. It was like, there was the Trump speech, which is the big thing. Like, what do we do with all the extra time? Like, let anybody talk. Who wants to talk? This guy owns a fucking sandwich shop.
Let him come up there. Yeah, look, it's my friend Giovanni. Like, let anybody in there. They were letting people that were saying wild stuff, too. Oh, they were letting anybody in there. And it didn't seem like they vetted a lot of the speeches.
Some of the speeches were like, what do you... Yeah, they had 40 minutes of ASMR in there. They were fucking letting people do anything.
Dude, whenever you get an organization, whether it's the Republicans or the Democrats, you got to kind of like appease everybody. And you got psychos and moderate people. And they're all together under this one banner of this one. Like, have you ever been on a sports team? There's always like one dude on the team that's a fucking psychopath, right? Oh, yeah. Dude, don't cause any fights.
Like, leave everybody alone. Let's go. Come on.
We had a brother. He would slash everybody's tires. But then here's the thing. We were giving him a ride home. So it was like, well, now we're all fucked. But that's who he was. You had to respect him. He was a power forward, you know?
Yeah. Well, sometimes they're not making the best decisions. People don't, man. You get hit in the head a lot. People don't, man. Especially football players, bro. You get hit in the head a lot, you're going to make some sketchy-ass decisions.
Nick Bosa got brave and shared his political thoughts the other night. You see that? No, I didn't. It's just crazy how on mainstream stuff, if you share anything one way, it's okay, but you share something another way, it's not okay.
Right. Nobody got angry at people. They made fun of people for supporting Kamala Harris. We made fun of Dave Bautista because it looked just so silly. performative commercial where it's really important to vote for Kamala and Tim Walz. Is he Minuta? The wrestler. The guy from Guardians of the Galaxy. You know who I'm talking about. Big Jack dude. He's trying to get movies, man.
He's wearing pearls to red carpet events. I know what you're doing. You're trying to get those movies. For what, though? You're an artist. You're sensitive. You're on the right side. He wants to be a lead in a movie. He wants to be a movie star. Then fucking turn on your camera at a house and make something. Dude, I'm telling you, it's the right move. What he's doing is the right move.
Even if he's faking it. You mean for Hollywood, you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wear the beads. Wear pearls. That softens you up a little bit. Lose some weight. Lost a bunch of weight. Talk shit about Trump. He's allowed to be like a tough guy talking shit about Trump. Did you ever see that Jimmy Kimmel sketch they did? We called Trump a whiny bitch. You ever seen it?
Where Jimmy Kimmel called Donald Trump that? No, no, no, no, no, no. Bautista. That Bautista did?
You never saw it? Find it, because it's kind of funny.
Is he the Intercontinental Champion? I haven't watched wrestling in a bit.
He was a big-time wrestler, was a giant dude, like fucking built like a superhero. And then he went and did Guardians of the Galaxy. Oh, yeah, with Chris Pratt. Yeah. He's a big, giant wrestler, dude.
Yes, now I know who you're talking about.
But he wants to be a movie star, so he's losing some weight. He's a good actor, too, man. He was good in that... What was that movie? The Glass... The Glass Onion, yeah. That was a great movie. He was really good in that.
Trying to think of what I've seen recently.
If you're a big, giant dude, and you're a big, muscle-bound, giant dude, and you want to do serious roles, you kind of got to lose some weight. And you kind of got to support Kamala Harris. You kind of got to wear pearls. You kind of got to soften your stance. You got to kind of like... be performative that you're the guy that they would want to pick. Cause that's like part of the battle.
Like here, let me get this.
Oh, that's him.
Yeah.
I thought it was Eddie Bravo. Donald Trump is some kind of tough guy. He's not. I mean, look at him. He wears more makeup than Dolly Parton. Wines like a baby. The guy's afraid of birds. Donald Trump had his daddy pay a doctor to say his little feet hurt so he could dodge the draft. Look at that gut. Like a garbage bag full of buttermilk.
He sells imaginary baseball cards pretending to be a cowboy fireman. Guy's barely strong enough to hold an umbrella. While he's working out.
And where is this? At Jocko's gym?
I don't know. Pink chickadee.
That's pretty funny. He's got jugs.
Big ones. Like Dolly Parton. He cheats at golf. He creeps around beauty pageant dressing rooms. You know that little dance he does?
Yeah, he's a pervert, dude. Who isn't a pervert?
He's moody. He pouts. He throws tantrums. No, get those lights off! He acts like a five-year-old behind the wheel of a truck. He bends over for Putin. This cat here on social media is a middle school bean girl. The guy needs help walking downhill. Almost there, Grandma. So this November, let's stop kidding ourselves. Donald Trump is afraid.
I don't watch this kind of stuff.
Look at this. The punches. Murrow street. And being locked at.
Isn't it past your jail time?
Mostly, he's terrified that real red-blooded American men will find out that he's a weak, tubby toddler.
Mommy, take me home, mommy. I want to go home.
Don't you know I'm a tough guy? I won't grab you by the...
That closing line's pretty tough.
That's not bad.
It called him a bitch.
But it's like, you know what he's doing. Yeah. Trying to become a movie star. It's a good move. The Hollywood liberals 100% love that.
Well, Hollywood's just crazy to me, dude. I just don't understand it. Like, it seems like they hate white men.
Well, some people do. that work in Hollywood, I'm sure, don't like white men, but that's the thing about woke culture. It's like there's a hierarchy of the injustices that you have faced. White men, even if it's not you, which is where it gets prejudiced, because if it's not you, white men over history have caused the most grief. They've caused the most trouble.
They've been responsible for the most injustices in this country, at least. You know, slavery, red line laws. Other people help with slavery.
Let's don't just pin the tail on the honky donkey.
Right. But in America, slaves were exclusively owned by white people. In other countries, they're owned by all kinds of people. This is where it gets weird.
See, that's what we got to do then.
Well, what people don't understand is there's more slaves today than there have ever been.
Nuh-uh.
There's more slaves today than there were before 1865 when slavery was abolished in America.
You're lying.
Nope. There's more slaves. In Libya, when we took down Libya and the rebels killed Gaddafi on television, did you ever see that?
Uh-uh. I didn't know.
It's one of the most terrifying videos. What channel was it on? C-SPAN. But Libya became, for a while, became like a failed state. And at one point in time, there were slave auctions in Libya that you could watch on YouTube.
Okay.
How crazy is that? Like, Google the actual numbers. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's a real statistic. And this is also one of the things that people are terrified about with this border deal. Because one of the things about the border, it's not as simple as people coming over and they want a better life. Of course. But it's also people being exploited.
And there's tens of thousands of kids that are missing. Who knows if they've been smuggled into child trafficking. There's who knows how many people have been. Okay, hold on a second. It says estimates range from about 38 to 49.6 million people are slaves today. The number of enslaved difficult people is difficult to determine. Estimates range from 38 to 49 million. What? Uh-huh. Yeah.
Oh, my God. I didn't have any clue.
Well, you have to include people that can't leave, even if they're not in cages. People that are trapped, right?
Like Gaza people, you mean?
Well, no. I would talk like people that work in coal mines or cobalt mines in the Congo. They're essentially slaves. I mean, they give them the minimal amount of food and water. They work in horrific conditions, and they live in complete abject poverty.
But they're treated better than the people in Gaza, though.
Perhaps. Well, they're all getting poison. They're all getting poison pulling that cobalt out of the ground.
Yeah, but still, they're getting lunch, I bet.
Probably not a good lunch, I would imagine. Either way, yeah, you could find other spots that suck worse. But the point is, like, those people you could kind of consider slaves. And then there's real slavery. You know, this friend of mine was telling me about this place that was built in Jamaica or the Bahamas. I think it was the Bahamas.
And they brought in Chinese workers in like this giant ship. And he said they had this patch of land. They put up a fence around the land. And all the Chinese workers lived on that land. And the Chinese workers built this resort there. And they worked nonstop 24 hours a day. They built the whole thing in 18 months. They would just have shift after shift.
And once it was completed, they took all the workers, put them back in the boat, put them right back to China. So what was that? Was that slaves? That's slavery. I mean, it seems like slaves. It seems like unless they paid those people an exorbitant amount of money, I don't know. I mean, I don't know what the arrangement was. But they put a fence around the area.
They brought people in a giant ship, and then they put them back on the ship and shipped them back to China. Yeah.
Look at Fyre Fest. Remember Fyre Fest or whatever? Yeah. What the fuck was that, dude? That was a dude trying to make money. Right, but still, those people got carded over there. Yeah. Nothing to eat, nowhere to sleep. Definitely different than slavery, but still, it's like, yeah, it's funny. You think just because things happened a long time ago that it's not slavery today, right?
Well, I wouldn't say that Fyre Festival is a form of slavery.
I agree. Did you see Prop 6 in California? What is that? It's on the screen.
Prop 6 prohibits slavery and involuntary servitude. And it did not pass. What? What? Wait a minute. What? In California? Yeah. Proposed amendment to California's constitution would bar slavery in any form and repeal a current provision allowing involuntary servitude as a punishment for crime.
Because a lot of them gay producers trying to crank out them twinks, homie. That's why, bro. Keeping my slaves? Yeah, bro. Every now and then.
How would you? Why?
Every now and then a frickin' some twink fucking clambers out of an air vent.
Oh, here it is. It's forced labor in prisons.
Yeah, it has to do with carrying people to work in prisons and they have to fight the wildfires and stuff.
Interesting. So they want him to have to work. Wow. They just don't want to pay. Yeah, that's California. But that is what happened, right? That was what the Jim Crow laws were all about, man. Like one of the things about slavery is slavery didn't end. Boom. Now let's get black people jobs.
No, slavery ended, and then there was this long period where black men would get arrested for anything and everything.
Yeah.
And then they'd be forced to work. And they had work camps. And so you were still— It was the same thing. You could just get caught, and you'd be a slave. You'd get a bad cop decides you're speeding. Whatever it is, you're a slave.
Yeah. Speeding, you need to have a car, and you're like, you're speeding.
Yeah, you're looking at people bad. You're verbally intimidating people, whatever the fuck it is. You see when someone wants to target you for something, you pissed off the wrong people, they fucking come after you with the law. And they can get you if they just decide that you shouldn't be free and we're just going to... There's an industry around slave labor, which there is.
There's also an industry now around keeping people in prison, right? Because the prisons are private. So it's a private corporation owns this building where you lock people up for money. You get paid for them being there. Who gets paid? The private prison. There's contracts with the state.
Like it's like a summer camp or something?
I don't know who gives the contracts, but...
No. Prisons are owned by corporations. Okay. So prisons own corporations.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Prison is owned by a corporation. So it's a business.
Okay.
So they lobby to make sure that laws stay on the books. One of them is marijuana. So the prison guard lobby. They were trying to make sure that marijuana stays illegal so that more people stay in prison. Because the more people in prison, the more jobs they have, the more hours they have, the better benefits they'll have. And the prison wants as many people in jail as possible.
Because they get money. That is how they make money. Wow. Yeah. Who makes the money? It's not the government? No. Well, in some jails, but there's private prisons. What are the percentage of private prisons? I know we've looked this up, but I forget the number.
Are they nicer?
I don't think so.
What about the Excalibur in Las Vegas? That place is a fucking private prison, dude. You ever been there?
Dear God, bro. Bro, I heard Circus Circus is going down. That's the ultimate. Circus Circus is like, how is this place legal? At the end of 2022, 8% of the total state and federal prison population in the United States was in private prisons. What? Yep. Which is about 90,873 people. This makes private prisons a relatively small part of the correction system, which is mostly public.
Which, by the way, is even crazier. How about the fact that 90,000 people in jail is a small percentage? Wow. We have more people in jail than any other country. Do you know that?
Yeah, and we need a few more in there, too, I think. Yeah. To be honest, bro, freedom is, hey, some people can't handle freedom.
Yeah, freedom ain't free.
Freedom ain't free, man. What are you eating over there?
A breaker.
I need a hit of something, man. Want one of these? Huh?
Something.
Oh, that's Zenz or something? Yeah. Breakers? You scared of it? You have a vape on you? This is non-alcoholic. I have this. What is that?
Bust out the smelling salts.
I'll take a hit of anything, dude. I'm about to fucking jerk off just to get high, dude.
I need something. What's going on, man? What's happening, Steve? It's been a long week, man.
Yeah, it's been a long year, man.
Well, you're successful. You're handsome. I don't understand it. I don't understand it either. This one's so bad. It stinks.
That's not the fishing bait one, is it?
No, bro. This one is so strong. I haven't even opened this yet. Sniff it. It's not even open yet.
Can't smell it.
You can't smell that? You have COVID?
Nope. I don't think so.
Shout out to my friend John Reeves who gave me this knife. This knife is made with...
You got a vape in here still, man?
No.
Come on. BLM, dude. What you got, Jamie?
What do you need, man? What's wrong with your vape?
I just want to hit a nicotine. There's no nicotine in it.
What are you doing with a vape with no nicotine? Just faking it?
Yeah. Just trying to get through it all.
Do you want a cigar, perhaps?
It'll make me sick, I bet.
I know.
Before I bust out these smelling salts, son. These are, oh, my God.
Tremendous. What round are we in?
Oh, boy.
What round are we in, dog?
Bro, this one I'm smelling from over there. Here we go. Oh, my God.
Come on, boy. Y'all fucking ride that bitch, homie.
Bear back, huh?
In words in Paris, baby.
Let's get this. You feel me? Get it. Get it. Oh, Lord, right?
How many seconds did I do, man?
That's PBR shit. Let me get one more. Don't be scared. I like it. I like it. Oh, Lord. I can't leave you alone out there in two land. I got to get a dose in myself.
Oh, my God. Fuck, I just think I saw who won the Heisman. Oh, my God. Bro, that shit made something happen to me.
Those are so strong.
Wow. I'm going to join women's sports. That was a lot, bro.
If every time you did this and you left here and you felt like you couldn't remember things well, would you still do it? Do that? Yeah. Yeah, I would. If you would lose, like, a little bit of memory, like, where's my keys? Nothing serious. Like, remember your name. You know, still remember your phone number. But you, like...
To do a little bit of a drug?
Just a little bit.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, one of my eyes just shut down. Yeah. And I like it. It's like, how far can we go? There's something about doing something. It's like, I think when you have addiction, you want to do something that harms you. Is that what it is? Yeah. You want to fucking... Because it's control. It's like, I want to control how I feel.
So even if how I feel isn't great, there's a weird juxtaposition where it's like, if I have control over it, then that's... It's almost like you're the devil that's trying to kill you, you know? Does that make any sense?
So if you have control, like, so you have anxiety and you're worried about things. And so in order to kind of mitigate that, you do a little bit of damage to yourself. So you have control over the damage.
Yeah, there's something about having control about how you feel. So even if you feel damaged, you still did it to yourself. There's like, I don't know, man, I'm doing the worst job.
No, I know what you're saying. Self-destructive tendencies is a big part of addiction.
Yeah, self-destructive. It's like just things feel so hectic right now. At least if I damage myself, then I'm the one doing it. I'm not just letting the world do it, right? In the moment, you don't see that that doesn't have any value.
Right.
Afterward you're like shit that was dumb, but in the moment that feels like at least I'm taking control of the situation I think sometimes you spend too much time alone Me personally yeah, I think it's probably true Yeah, I think knowing you and being your friend for many years now I think when you struggle is when you buy yourself too much Yeah, because when you're with everybody else everybody loves you we all have fun together so
I've said it before and I'll say it again. We need that, especially us, especially comedians. We need to be around people that are just like us. You don't have to worry. We can just talk shit and laugh and have fun. There's no wondering where we stand with each other. It's always fun. You need a home base, man.
You were doing better when you were at the comedy store all the time because you were around us all the time. We were all around each other. We knew there was a place we could go where we could find like-minded people and have a laugh.
on a regular basis which is like we're so fortunate most people don't have a place where they can go where they're guaranteed to see people that they love and you're gonna have a good time and just be silly with each other and then you're watching all these sets everybody's going on stage with that energy and so there's all this killing in the air
Yeah, I mean, Mothership's fun, man. I've been wanting to look for a place where I just haven't had the time.
Let me ask you this.
This year's been the craziest year. It's just been a crazy year.
Well, it's good to be crazy because you're busy and you're doing great stuff. Yeah, it's been fun. Your podcast is killing it.
It's been scary. It's been fun. I appreciate the couple times. You've messaged me after a couple episodes and said, hey, man, I like that or something. I really appreciate it. I want to let you know that I really appreciate that.
Oh, well, I appreciate what you're doing. I'm very, very proud of you. I'd love to see how much you've worked at it and how your podcast just keeps growing in the ranks. It's really good, man. It's a perfect podcast in that it's really you. You know how to be you. You're real authentic. Even if you're talking to Trump, you're being you.
You're talking about doing cocaine with former President Trump or now newly elected President Trump.
So it's like, well, I just want to have a voice, you know, I always just wanted to have a voice ever or not even, I just want to, I don't know.
You want to be able to express yourself. Yes. Yeah.
I just wanted things to be fair and I just want to express. I just like, yeah, there was always this feeling inside of me. Like I don't have a, I can't speak up for myself, you know?
And so like, I think, yeah.
And even if I'm just listening to somebody, but letting them speak, it's like, there's still like something that, you know, it means it's like, I can't even explain it, but it's like, it's so, it's like, I don't know. It means something to me.
Yeah, I think these kind of conversations are very good for you. Like conversations that you're having, conversations that I'm having. I think they're good for you. You get a chance to communicate with people that are, you know, really interesting, unique people that have lived completely different lives than you. I got Brian Cox on the other day explaining the universe to me.
Fucking, I could, I was like a kid in a candy store. It's like, it's so exciting to get this guy's just like, super intelligent person who's also a really good communicator who could break down the fabric of the universe for you and what we know about it. I mean, like, when does anybody ever get that opportunity to sit down and talk to someone like that for three hours?
Yeah, man. Dude, I had a lady who had been driving cats across the country for two years in a fucking tour bus, right? And they perform and they do musical acts. And, bro, I'm not even joking to you. It was one of the most fascinating things I've ever heard in my life.
Oh, yeah.
Because her commitment to it. Imagine she got her CDL so she could drive the fucking bus because it was so expensive. What's a CDL? Commercial driver's license. Oh. And she goes around doing feline shows around the whole country. And she's been doing it for 15 years.
Who do you think she voted for? That's a good question. I don't know. Whoever I grabbed by the pussy, probably that guy. Do you know that crazy cat ladies, that there's a reason for that? It's the same reason that, like, it's a cat parasite. Toxoplasmosis.
So you're saying it's a medical ailment?
Makes you aggressive. Oh, man. No, it makes you aggressive. Yeah. I bet a lot. Like, that's that term, cat lady, crazy cat lady, that's a real thing. That lady's got a parasite. She's got a brain parasite. Toxoplasmosis.
Well, you can't tell them that.
Oh, I bet I could test them. Get a cheek swab. Hold that lady down. Give me a cheek swab. I guarantee you that lady's got it. Oh, that lady. I used to live with a dude, bro.
I used to live with this dude. Right. And I ended up doing fucking a lot of drugs or something, whatever. And I fucking cut a window into my closet, dude. And it was to the neighbor's apartment. I thought it went outside. I got kicked out. Oh, my God.
But before that, I lived with this dude, and he would get really... Imagine you're that lady in the apartment next door, and you hear a saw. Some dude's cutting a hole into your fucking apartment. Yeah, man, I just... That's the crazy thing about apartments, right? What's the crazy thing about cocaine? Apartments have nothing to do with it, bro. I've been up for fucking 42 hours on drugs.
You want to hear something crazy? Trump, at the day of the election, Dana White told me he'd been up for 72 hours. Unbelievable. I go, how is that possible? He goes, dude, he's a freak.
It's so weird. Well, yeah, dude, I'll say some things. Here's things that, like, whatever you think about, the guy is as resilient. No one could go through all that shit. When the Justice Department started to fuck him over, that's when a lot of people were like, you know what? the only thing we should be able to believe in in this country is at least the justice system.
And if they're fucking him over, and then he got shot at a couple of times, dude, he's a quarter of 50 cent. You know what I'm saying? He's like, so it's like, what else does it, you know, at a certain point, you're just like, I gotta bet on this dog. You know, even if it's like you don't even like him. It's like, this motherfucker, this dude, you got to bet on that dog.
If not, it's just bizarre, you know?
I mean, the guy gets up and says, fight, fight, fight, after he got shot in the ear. He's not freaking out. He's like, oh, my God, I got shot. Get me out of here. They're shooting. He looked. He goes, no, no, stop, stop.
Yeah, fight, fight. Dude, I stubbed my toe. I called my assistant a faggot. So yeah, there's something special about that guy.
And if you're lying about him, and I know you're lying about him, why am I supposed to trust you that you're lying for a good reason? If you keep repeating these same hoaxes, they keep repeating. Obama was repeating it in one of his speeches. He said about those white supremacists, they're very fine men on both sides. That's not true. It's not true.
Well, why? I don't understand why left-leaning media, which is mostly Jewish, are calling people white supremacists, dude. Jewish. Did you say that? Yeah, I just don't understand. Left-wing media is mostly Jewish? I mean, according to my Jewish friends, it is, you know?
But why do they hate white guys? It's just woke things, man. It's just virtue woke bullshit. I just don't understand it. Well, because the hierarchies have experienced a polar shift. Okay? So here's what it is. If you go back to the 1960s. The kind of racism that people faced like before the race riots and all that was horrific because it's just 100 years removed from slavery ending.
And the echoes of that. Oh, it's still in our genes. Yes. But the echoes of that were much more. Much more prevalent then. And so black people were heavily discriminated against. Gay people were heavily discriminated against. People recognize that that's wrong. Young people go to universities. They get taught that it's wrong. They recognize the sins of the past. And then they overcorrect.
And by overcorrecting, now you favor people that you think have been previously marginalized. So you give people – like Vivek calls it the tyranny of the oppressed. Right. So the oppressed, the previously oppressed now have a social hierarchy. They're a higher level. If you're a black trans woman, you get to say the things first at the meeting. Let the black trans woman talk.
There's a hierarchy in all woke culture. And if you are a white male who's heterosexual, you have to be non-binary because otherwise you can't get in. You got to be a they-them because then now, okay, now you're marginalized. All you have to do is change your approach. That's the lowest level of entry is non-binary straight man. You just say you're non-binary.
You just say, I just don't feel like a man or a woman. Meanwhile, you fuck chicks. You know what you're doing, you little chameleon.
Yeah, you're just being a little secret care bear or whatever.
You're sneaking around. But there's hierarchies. And gay people, because gay people have been previously oppressed. Gay people weren't even allowed. Even in 2013, up to then, Hillary Clinton and Obama both said that marriage should be between a man and a woman. We have to realize that this was like 11 fucking years ago. That was their political talking points.
Marriage should be between a man and woman. So now kids realize how stupid that is. Young kids generally have a much better sense of the errors of the past than we do. Unless we're paying attention as we get older, we pay more attention to what's going on before. But now kids immediately are aware of how fucked up.
colonial society has been, how they've conquered North America, killed the indigenous people. So they want to, like, re-correct things.
Oh, yeah. If I was ever in office, dude, Native Americans are getting a lot of shit back immediately, dude.
Well, they already have casinos.
Huh?
They already have casinos.
Yeah, but did they want casinos? I want them to have back whatever they want.
They're getting it back.
They're getting the rivers back. They're getting the lakes back. They were taking it from each other too, dude.
No, I agree.
Everybody acts like Native Americans were like everybody's just like whistling and just shaking hands, but they were fighting. Yeah, 100%.
But you would have to figure out like who owned it like at that time and give it back to them. And then you would have to let all those other people try to kill them and get it back. Because if you want to go back to the old ways, that's the old ways. You want to go back to when the Comanche ran Texas. Like, okay, good luck. But you know what the Comanche's favorite thing was doing?
Raiding other tribes. They loved that. They were gangbangers. Yeah, they were gangbangers. They would show up in other tribes and slaughter people. And they wouldn't just slaughter people. They would torture them. They would cut their arms and legs off, throw them on a pile of fire. Nobody ever surrendered, ever, because they knew that there was no leniency. You're going to be tortured and killed.
Oh, so you had to fight to the death.
100%. Fight to the death.
Imagine not being able to surrender because you have no choice but to fight to the death. That's wild.
The concept of surrender was completely alien to Native Americans.
Yeah.
They fought to the fucking death. And they fought each other to the death. And there was battles between all of them. And they conquered and they made alliances and, you know, especially Little Bighorn. They all got together and fucked up Custer. But there's so many different tribes that conquered so many different. And then you'd have to go back to when. Right.
You're like, well, you got it because you killed all these people. Let's go back to the Algonquins. Let's give it to the fucking Apaches. Let's get like you'd have to figure it out, man. Like this was. Yeah, this was a gigantic dream catcher to get the truth. This was really like in some ways other than the violence. It was like a utopian existence.
It was these people followed the buffalo around, ate every part of it, used their skins to make their houses, traveled on horseback following them around. They didn't even make art, dude. The Comanche didn't make art. They didn't make anything. Why, they were just warriors? Just warriors eating meat. All they did was eat buffalo and kill everybody else.
So if you so so is it weird that we feel bad about that? Like, is that a trap? Like, that's what I'm wondering. Does that make does that question make sense?
Well, that was the way they lived. You know, I mean, is that better than drone bombs in Yemen? You know, when we sit here comfortably in this fucking Austin warehouse, is it better? Is that better? No. The whole thing is fucked. It's fucked that Gaza's going on. It's fucked that they're using these poor Ukrainians like fucking meat for the Russian war machine. The whole thing's crazy.
It's all bad. But the crazy that was going on back then was a one-on-one crazy. It's a different kind of crazy. It was like there was an understanding that if you saw somebody and they had horses or they had these, you're going to go kill them and take that thing from them.
And if you knew that there was a camp and the camp was over the top of the ridge and they would be in bed at night, you would come in the middle of the night and slaughter everyone. And they did that to each other. They did that to each other. So it was a horrific way of existing.
Because sometimes there's this vision that you romanticize that culture, right? I do that a lot. I romanticize things that I don't know about, right? Because there just seems like something like, oh, that's romantic or something, you know?
This was a culture of warriors.
It was fucking hide and go seek for real.
Wow.
And most of them got killed by fucking smallpox. That's what's the crazy. Oh. Most of them got killed by the flu and all sorts of diseases that came over with the Europeans. How gay must that have felt, dude?
You're a fucking warrior, right? Suddenly you get a fucking couple of bumps.
Some dude sneezes on you at the depot. You go to the trading depot to drop off some fucking skins. Some dude sneezes on you, and that's a wrap. Yeah, you're like, you've been training all day, dude. And some guy just fucking doesn't wash his feet for half an afternoon. Or just came here off a boat. Stinky bitch was breathing shit air and drinking shit water. You know?
Like, can you imagine the hygiene on those boats? Oh, Columbus's ship?
It was like the first Burning Man, dude. That place was a dump, dude. I heard the penta didn't even have any chicks on it, dude.
It's like, there's an example. Columbus is an example. Could you have done it? I mean, probably if you lived back then, that would have been the thing to do because you would have been bored. But you're in the, it's early morning, couple guys show up. You would want to try to see what it looks like to go across the ocean.
If you're a young man and you just needed something in your life and you knew the dudes did it and you just eat beef jerky for three months and you make it across the ocean and when you get to the other side, there's gold everywhere. They didn't even know where they were.
Yeah.
But if you read the accounts, there was a priest that traveled with them, some sort of religious man that traveled with them.
Oh, yeah.
Like a detailed diary of the horrific things that Columbus's men did. They bashed babies on the rocks. Nuh-uh. Yeah, they told certain men that they had to give them their weight in gold, and if they did, they would chop dudes' arms off in front of everybody. They enslaved these people and used them for their gold because these people had no use for gold. They didn't know how valuable gold was.
You mean when they got to the Americas?
Exactly. Wow. Exactly. Yeah. They just slaughtered people. They just slaughtered people, dude. There's horrific depictions of what Columbus's people did.
I romanticize nature so much, and it's really vulgar, isn't it?
Well, it's just humans have always done this to each other for all of human history. The strong groups of men with weapons invade people that aren't prepared and they take all their stuff and they conquer them. It's always happened. It's the most common thing. If you go back and look at history, there's a bunch of common things.
There's an increase in the complexity of architecture and the design of the cities. There's machines. All these different things improve. But along the way, the consistent thing is war. It's constantly happening from the beginning of time, as early as we know, tribes were battling other tribes.
And back then, when there wasn't that many people, wasn't that many resources, and you were competing to see whose genes spread, it's just natural. You develop tools and weapons, and then that's ingrained in our fucking DNA. So here we are in 2024 with iPhone 16s and Starlink, and we're still locked into this tribal war mindset because that's how humans evolved.
And that's the scariest thing about being alive today is that we're so advanced, we're so much more civilized than at any other point in human history. And yet, same amount of people, if not more, are dying senselessly all the time.
Right, like we're civilized on the outside, but there's a part of us that will always be uncivilized?
Yeah, well, the part of it is war, right? And other parts of the world are not as calm as us. You know, there's parts of the world that are very fucking dangerous.
Yeah.
They're the... There's places in the world where you can't go without getting robbed or shot.
Yeah, Memphis, first of all. Is Memphis that bad? Memphis is bad, dude.
That's where Elvis came from.
Huh?
Isn't that where Elvis came from? And he left. Has it changed? Where's Graceland?
Actually, Graceland, you know what's crazy about Graceland, dude? It's in Memphis. And it's cool. You go out, they let you in the backyard after the smoke, and Elvis' grave is right there. You could smoke right in front of Elvis' grave? You could smoke 17 centimeters from Elvis' grave or 80 centimeters.
That movie, that Elvis movie was so good.
Which one? The one about his girlfriend?
Where Tom Hanks plays the colonel. You didn't see that one?
Oh, yeah.
With that dude, what is his name? Austin? Colonel Winters? What's the fellow's name that played Elvis? Austin Butler. Austin Butler is really good, man. Yeah, that was good. He fucking, he nailed it. He was really good. You really believed that he was Elvis, right? What a crazy story. Yeah. Elvis was the first guy to get way too famous. The first guy that was just way too famous.
Yeah.
Like, there was no one that famous before Elvis.
No, there wasn't. Well, yeah, there was. Jesus, probably. Who else? Maybe Jesus.
Constantine. I think Jesus got his rep, like, he got his real appreciation after he was gone. Yeah. You know, sort of like Kurt Cobain.
Yeah, kind of. That's a good point, huh? Yeah.
I mean, people loved Kurt Cobain while he was alive, but I think they really appreciated him after he was dead. There's certain guys.
What do you think you, what do you, what are you going to do when you die, dude?
I'm not doing shit. I'll be dead. All right. We'll see about that, huh? We'll see about that. That's what's interesting. Imagine if you really do go to heaven and St. Peter really is there with a book. You're like, this is crazy.
First thing you're going to think is this dude's gay as fuck, I think. With that robe. Yeah. Some dude has a checklist or whatever.
It's like trying to get in a hide or whatever. You're the most enlightened being ever, but you walk around with a robe on. Robes are stupid. I never want to wear a robe. Even if I have to go to like a massage place, you got to wear a robe before you take the robe off. I'm like, okay, you're going to see me in my underwear in five minutes. So why don't we just do it now? It's flirting.
It's lingerie. A robe. Yeah, dude. A robe is just male lingerie. Why would God be wearing a robe with a rope tie? Bro, don't you know about pants? I don't know. You can get yourself a pair of origin stretchy jeans. They're great, man. They look like jeans, but they feel like fucking sweatpants. God, why are you wearing them? Why are you wearing a robe, man?
You think God's got that thang on him or what?
What do you think?
He probably got a hog. You think? He created the universe. Yeah. Oh, my God. I bet you would want it. I bet you would want it. If you saw it, you'd want it. I wouldn't go up to it. Imagine it just has a magical attraction. You're not even gay, but everybody's gay for God. Hey, look, I'll tell you this.
I might walk up to him, but I put sunglasses on first, dude.
If God's real, he made gay people. Anybody who thinks gay is a choice, I think gay is a choice for some people. Let me be real clear about this. I think there's some people that are open-minded and say, I'll try being gay for a while. It's not me. Maybe it's you. Greg Fitzsimmons said he almost tried it, and he panicked at the last minute and ran away. Yeah. He thought he had to be open-minded.
You have to stay up late to do it, I feel like. I feel like it's like a late-night activity.
A lot of gay stuff doesn't happen at 9 in the morning.
Until past 1. Yeah. Past 1 a.m. I like to get to bed at a decent hour.
My point is, God made gay people.
Yeah.
So it's clear. If God made everything, he made people that are gay. The craziest religious answer, like Ben Shapiro gave me this answer. He said he thinks you should ignore it. Don't do it because it's a sin. Just like you want to murder people, but you don't murder them. Like, bro, how much do you want to murder people? Because gay people want to fuck every day. Yeah.
If you want to murder people every day, check yourself in. That's a crazy comparison. The gay thing is literally your sexual expression. You're attracted to other guys. So if you're not attracted to other guys, are you sure God wrote that down? Are you 100% positive that God really thinks that's a bad idea, but yet he made people that have that urge? Right.
It wouldn't be fair if he did that. It wouldn't be right. I think the craziest thing is I think if you – the first gay dude must have been like, what's going on? Like he's sitting there with his wife or whatever and his buddy comes over to just look around or whatever because they didn't have that much stuff back then.
And his buddy comes over just to look around or tell him about an animal he saw or something. And he just starts thinking, man, I'm going to fucking – I bet I'm going to get this little rabbit.
I bet it existed from the jump. Little rabbit. Little rabbit? What do you think as a gay dude? Get that little rabbit.
Get that little fucking booty rabbit.
Booty rabbit. I think gay guys have been here from the very beginning.
I'm going to snort that little fucking.
You know why? Because I think human beings.
That little dirt oyster.
Jesus Christ. I'm just saying, bro.
What do you think if the thoughts have to come into your head? Something puts the thoughts in you. I think it starts in the thoughts. I don't think it starts in the DNA.
Well, it might start in the DNA, too. There was, I think, see if you can find this. I think it was University of Rome. They proposed a theory that there was a variation of the X chromosome that existed in women that are very promiscuous. And that these very promiscuous women had a disproportionate amount of gay sons.
Oh my God.
Yeah, so the idea is that these women are just so, they're so dick hungry that it literally passes on through their genes.
Where was it? It wasn't in Rhode Island, was it?
No, but that could happen in Rhode Island. Providence would be a good place for that.
Isn't there like a gay mecca that's kind of there?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Provincetown, I think.
Yeah, Jeff, what's his name, used to party there. Jeff from the comedy store.
I think Provincetown is Massachusetts. But I know what you're talking about. There is a thing in Rhode Island. And then there's Fire Island in New York. But I think their thought was that the same gene that made women really promiscuous, they wanted a bunch of different sexual partners, that it might be actually a gene thing.
See, the gene thing is weird, man, because Brett Weinstein explained this to me. He said, do you know the difference between a beautiful woman and a woman who's hot? And I said, no. Like, what's the difference? He was like, a beautiful woman is a woman that you would want to have a long term relationship and raise children with.
Yeah.
And then a hot woman. Like a woman who's wearing very skimpy clothes and looks like she's really made up. The idea that that's attractive is that you could potentially spread your genes quickly without having any consequences. So this person, you wouldn't have to have a relationship with that person, but it would give you an opportunity to spread your genes as primates.
Just spray and stray kind of thing. Like Monsanto or whatever.
Fertility. The amount of children they have, I think, or something.
I thought it was the promiscuous women.
I'll show you the title.
Does it say that there? I wonder if this is their interpretation. Yeah, that's around the time. Gay genes survived evolution as it is carried by mothers who have more children. But guess what? If you have more kids, it means you like dick. I think they were talking about promiscuity, though.
However, a study published by the Journal of Sexual Medicine found a correlation between gay men and their mothers and maternal aunts who are prone to have significantly more children compared to the maternal relatives of straight men.
I think we need more gay men in some of these areas.
Well, hold on a second. Doesn't that make sense, though? That would make sense in terms of natural selection. Because if you're someone who's over having kids, you have too many kids. You have like 10 children.
All right.
I would see how nature would be like, you know what? We don't need to spread these genes as much. Let's make a couple of these gay.
Right. Nature's like, let's even things out right.
Right.
That would make sense. Nature wants people to balance.
Yes.
Nature wants balance.
Yeah. And if someone has 10 kids and everybody else has 10 kids, that could get out of hand real quick. So I can see how if you have a lot of kids, nature will be like, you know what? Let me do this. What was that? Where was that study done from? University of Rome.
University of Padova in Italy. Okay.
And just as there's people that's gay, there's people that are non-sexual at all, really.
100%, which is stay out of the fight. You don't belong in the 2A2 plus A, whatever that is. So what is it? It's QBD, what is it? LGBTQ. LGBTQ2AI plus. A is asexual. Stay out of it. Yeah. Stay out of it. It's not your fight.
Yeah, they got it. Some people... It's not your fight.
Yeah, you're just like... You don't even have sex with anybody.
Yeah, what if you're just jerking off at your house? Are you in that or what? Like, what is that? Who are those people?
Right, that's lonely sexual. Yeah. An L. I think they're going to put robots in there.
You see that robot cutting hay the other day? I did not. Pull that up if you don't mind, Jamie.
With a scythe like the Reaper? Like a Reaper?
Yeah, it was like a little bit of like a, not a slave bot or whatever.
We were talking about robot bodyguards, that in the future you'll have robot bodyguards and you can go anywhere you want.
That'd be cool, but then like the second you start, you gotta run, they're gonna be like, oh right. And then they'll run, it's gonna take half a second, half a second kills everything.
I bet they just pick you up and they run with you. Wow. They just carry you. Did you see this? It's not real. There we go right here.
This is not real? Oh, that's not real? It's not real.
Jamie, you're a party pooper.
Look how it's moving.
Super real. You see that pod where they're killing- Jamie, that is so real. Yeah, that's real. Go back. 100% that's coming, okay?
Yeah, sure, but yeah.
I mean, all these folks that are coming over here for jobs, there's a lot of those jobs that are going to be taken by unskilled labor jobs are all going to be robots.
But don't you think at a certain point that we shouldn't have that? At a certain point, shouldn't AI, if it doesn't help us be human, that at a certain point we should stop it? That's how I feel like.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. They should have stopped it a long time ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They should have stopped it a long time ago. If you want humans to survive, you should have stopped it a long time ago. If you want the human race as it is now, you want this to stay. That doesn't make sense because you're making something way better.
You're 100% going to make something and you're going to give it autonomy and you're going to give it sentience. And it's going to be infinitely smarter than us. It's not going to be restricted by any biological needs. It's not going to be greedy. It's not going to be mean. It's not going to be malicious. But it might decide we're useless.
They might decide that it definitely doesn't need us polluting the ocean and fucking up the fucking rivers.
It's risky.
Yeah. Nuclear waste. It's going to be like, what are you doing, morons? Why are you idiots cracking atoms? Stay out of that.
You don't even know what you're doing.
Here's free porn and a fucking VR mask. You give your free food. Have a blast. Let you stop breeding. Our population will just drop off a cliff.
They just, I saw, they, what were we talking about a second ago?
Yeah.
Oh, they're killing people at the airport. You want another hit of those? Yeah, I'll take another one, man. I need another soda or something. You got anything on you in here?
We got coffee. You want some coffee?
Take another Kill Cliff if you got one.
Well, Jamie, go get you one. Want some coffee?
You mind? Is that coffee? Yeah. Yeah, I'll try something.
It's a clean mug.
It is. It's warm coffee, eh?
Just came out of the dishwasher. Oh, hell yeah. It's like the Civil War. Why are you pouring it with one hand trapped underneath that arm? You're freaking me out. Challenging myself, dude. That is wristability. That was all wrist. You didn't move your arm at all, dude. You were all wrist on that jam. Yeah. That's hard to do, man. Thank you. Wrist is the weakest link. You ever do wrist curls?
I'm shocked at how weak bitch ass my wrists are. Oh, it's amazing.
Wrist curls. Well, it's amazing whenever you take, like, any jiu-jitsu classes, how the first thing you start to learn is just control the wrist.
Uh-huh. It's crazy. Changes everything. Especially guys with big hands. Yeah. You could grab, like, a guy with a basketball player style hands. There's this dude named Semmy Schilt. He used to fight in the UFC. Semmy? Semmy Schilt. He was seven feet tall.
Oh, wow.
And the problem with Semmy is if you got on top of him, he just grabs your wrist. You can't get your hands free. Like, this motherfucker. Yeah. Because he had these fucking baseball mitts for hands. He just wrapped his hands around you. That's Semmy Schilt. Wow. He was a K-1 Grand Prix winner. Oh, my God. He looks like Zach Bryan a little. Seven foot tall. He was a beast, dude.
He fought in MMA, too. Wasn't a good grappler, unfortunately. That was kind of his downfall. But he had a nasty front kick to the body. Yeah, he fought Peter Ertz. He fought everybody, man. Semmy was good. And he was real tall and real good at utilizing that height.
It would seem like I would be scared to be that tall in MMA because there would be more of you to be attacked by.
Sort of, but you're way further away. The whole thing is distance where you could effectively strike them and they can't strike you. John Jones has the perfect fighter's frame because he's still very strong. He has a lot of muscle, but he's also long and lean. So he's not relatively bulky compared to his weight because he's long and stretched out. So he can hit you from here.
And you can only hit him from here. This amount of distance is so huge. If you have a distance of like that much where a guy can hit you and you can't hit him, you have to cross that. And you're so vulnerable while crossing that. And if a guy's a good counter striker and he's active and he's long... They're so hard to get in on. So a guy like John, that's always going to be an advantage.
And then with John, if you do get in on him, that's no picnic because he's an elite grappler. So he's going to strangle you. He's going to throw you to the ground. So you're fucked. You're in this fuck zone. On the outside, he's kicking the shit out of your knees. John is one of the nastiest, like side-kicking people's knees. Yeah. Yeah.
Most dangerous guy.
Very dangerous.
People say that he's Dana White's favorite fighter. Is that the truth, do you think? Or is that just a myth?
Dana White says he's the greatest of all time. Right. Which a lot of people say. Yeah. I go back and forth on what I think the greatest of all time means. That's a good question. If you want to say, like, who dominated his division longer than anybody, who beat everybody that was ever any good in his division, and who never lost, that's Jon Jones.
The only time you could say he had a controversial decision was the Dominic Reyes fight. It was Dominic Reyes was coming up, he was in his prime, it was a really good fight, a really close fight. But Jon won what I think was a split decision? And then he had a split decision with Tiago Santos. But Tiago Santos, he blew out both of Tiago's knees.
Tiago needed knee surgery on both of his knees after that fight. I think that was a split decision. That's dangerous. But the bottom line is John won all those fights. And then, you know, he wins the heavyweight title too. It's tough to argue he's not the greatest of all time.
Yeah.
I say, you know, if you had to only pick one, I would pick John. But I don't like only picking one because there's a bunch of reasons why other guys are in this elite class of being considered as possibly the greatest of all time. I always say Mighty Mouse because Mighty Mouse would do things where you're like, what the fuck did he just do?
When he fought Ray Borg, he tossed him in the air and caught him in a fucking armbar on the way down.
Oh, God. You ever see that? No, I've never seen that.
It's one of the craziest things I've ever seen a guy do inside the cage. He threw this dude through the air and caught a flying armbar in the air. Fuck. It's so fast. To me, it's like when I just think, watch this. Throws him.
Boom. Bro. Wow, dude. Bro. Bro. If that dude ain't good at gift wrapping, you got the wrong guy, bro.
You know how crazy that is? Look how crazy this is. In the middle of the air, he switches to an armbar on an elite fighter in a world championship fight. That's like a stunt. That's like a stunt move. If you saw that in a movie, you'd be like, shut the fuck up. Nobody can do that. Right. He did it in an MMA championship fight where he was dominating the fight.
Yeah, it's crazy how many of those guys would be like Hollywood stuntmen, you know?
And then you also got to, like, if you just look on record, this is where it gets crazy. If you just look on record of accomplishments against champions, you kind of have to put Alex Pereira already in the conversation of potential greatest of all time, which is so crazy. He's one of only three two-division champions, right? Yeah. How many have been to? You have Connor. You have DC. You have Alex.
I think that's it.
No. No. I think that's it. Amanda? Amanda Nunes, that doesn't really count because 45, it does count, but 45 is kind of a non-existent weight class.
It kind of doesn't exist. He's a hunter, that guy.
She was fighting girls that could have fought 35. It's real, but like 45 is the most, 145 for women is the most shallow division in MMA. So yes, you would say Amanda too. So it's a small percentage of people that have achieved that. And he achieved it in record time. He's knocked out so many fucking champions.
knocked out Jamal Hill, not beat the shit out of Yuri Prohaska, knocked him out in the second fight. That was crazy. Bro!
Hunted him.
Bro. Bro.
That guy's unbelievable watching him.
He's a fucking monster, dude. He's a monster. He's a force. What he did to Khalil Rountree was a clinic.
Khalil's amazing, too.
He's amazing. To do that to a guy like Khalil, that was a clinic in elite, world-class MMA.
And at first, the first two rounds, you're like, what is this like? What's going on? Khalil's in it. They're both in it. But then you start to see that Pereira's hunting. It's like this hunting thing.
yeah the pressure never ends yeah and you're like oh my god it's like literally watching one of those snake like a snake when they're just kind of like like did you see that snake that ate that deer was like a 77 pound deer or whatever yeah i did see that you did of course i see all that shit it's crazy dude bring that up bring that up that big dog i'm glad he says snake because that's kind of how perera moves
He moves like a snake. He pulls back, and then he strikes forward. He pulls back. He's a master at just getting right outside of your shots, and then his shots are coming in right behind him.
And he operates at his own speed. He's almost like Alvin Kamara is a football player that does that. He operates at his – it's a speed you've never seen. It looks normal, but it's –
Well, it varies a lot too. Like sometimes he moves fast and sometimes he moves slow. It's very hypnotic. Yes, it's hypnotic. It's also unique. He's got a unique frame. So he kind of looks, he moves different on design. Like he doesn't switch his hips when he throws kicks. So you don't see him come until it's too late.
So he's standing in front of you, and when he kicks, there's no movement of his shoulders. He's just throwing these kicks out, and they land. And they're not as hard as if he put his whole body into it, but it's hard enough where you're like, oh, no. And you get hit with a couple of those, three, four, five of those.
All of a sudden, you're like, I can't walk anymore, and now he's hunting you, and he's hunting you. See, I would put him already in the conversation. I don't think he's better than Jon Jones, greatest of all time, but I already put him in the conversation as a potential greatest of all time nominee. He's right there.
He's the male Katniss Everdeen.
He's only been in MMA for a few years.
He's a hunter.
And he's only been in the UFC for a few years. Yeah. It's crazy. A couple of MMA fights other than the UFC, and then the UFC for this run at the top of the division, just smashing everyone to obliterates. So then you got Khabib, undefeated. Oh, yeah, so many greats. What is the definition of the greatest? Oh, George St-Pierre, another two-division champion. That's right. George won at 85 as well.
I almost forgot George. Yeah, so George, one of the greatest of all times for sure. Yeah, I saw him. You put him in that conversation.
I got to see him in Canada.
Anderson in his prime. Anderson in his prime is in that conversation. You got to look at them like in their... In the moment. Whenever there's a moment, a time period of like this amount of years to that amount of years, let's all agree that this is the prime. Forget about when they should have retired. Let that go. Just talk about them, whether they're at their best, who is the best.
That's a good point. Yeah. Because everybody that's doing great, you want to stay as long as you can. It would be weird if you didn't probably.
But you can't judge them by how they were when they should have gotten out. Right. Because it's just a foolish endeavor. They shouldn't have been fighting a killer at 42 years old, you know, natural. And it's timing, too. Yeah. But there's just a lot. When fighters fight late into their career, you've got to kind of. You gotta kind of erase that when you think about their ultimate expression.
I feel like their prime is their ultimate. It's everything they could do. They did everything right. They crossed every T. They measured all their food. They fucking did the cryo chamber and they did saunas every day and got massages and were sparring and doing strength and conditioning drills and they were going over moves with their coaches. They had a battle plan. everything.
So those guys, you can only do that for so long. There's, that's like a nine year at, at the best when you're at the, so you got to look like in that when like fade or in pride, you got to look in that window. Don't look at fade or now and you know, Guys are knocking him out. And it's just not the same. He's an old guy. He's been beaten up a bunch of times. He's still a bad motherfucker.
But it's not that dude who was running pride in the early 2000s. Right.
It's not fair.
Yeah. You got to look at them when they're in BJ Penn at his best. The BJ pen for a few years, I say, is as good as anybody's ever seen.
I know you talk about him a lot. I've heard you speak about him a lot.
Dude, when he was in his prime, it was just a matter of was BJ going to get him in the first round? Was he going to get him in the second round? BJ was hyper-aggressive and just unbelievably talented.
I wasn't watching back then.
And dexterity, dude. He had crazy dexterity.
He's the governor of Maui, isn't he?
No, no, no, no, no. He was running for the governor of Hawaii.
Did he win? No, he didn't win. Aw. No. I went to Maui not too long ago, maybe four months ago.
Maui's awesome.
Yeah, but we went to the place where the fires were. Oh, yes, the fires. Blew my mind, man. It's still nothing, right? It was unbelievable. Yeah. It was just like – it was unbelievable to see what had occurred, you know? And just like – it's crazy how quickly we just as like – how we move past certain tragedies, you know, like we don't mean to, it's just the news cycle does.
And, you know, we get kind of addicted to the news cycle.
And so then it's kind of hard, you know, but it was, I'll tell you one thing, what the way the administration handled that, I think, um, put a bad taste in a lot of people's mouth while at the same time, they're sending all that money to Ukraine. I think that was a big problem with the Biden administration when they did that. I think you can't do that.
You can't while you're sending all this money overseas, ignore the people that are here. Because then it's like, why are you deciding in this manner that you don't want to help people that were hit with one of the biggest wildfire tragedies ever? Why are you deciding to give them $700?
Especially in one of the most beautiful places that our country has to even exist.
Not only that, but you're not protecting them from potential land grabs. Because one of the things that's going on with this is they've got to do insurance and they go through insurance and this and that. But meanwhile, these people are still paying mortgages. So, like, what happens?
And it's hard to figure out there, Joe, because a lot of people, they live as, like, second and third generations all living in the same home. Right. And they've also – a lot of – you know how Hawaii is. They, like – they'll, like, take little pieces of land. It's like, you know, people will build, like, something small and just live in somebody else's yard, that kind of thing. It's very, like –
Well, there's only so much land, but the problem is the land where that fire hit was very valuable. Oh, yeah.
It's like this perfect slope looking down at the ocean.
So what I would be fearful of, and if I was someone that was working in the government that wanted to protect people from being victimized, I would say, hey, let's make sure that this land doesn't get snatched up. Let's make sure that these people get their land back.
That'd be the first thing I would say.
If they all want to sell out to a resort and they make a decision on their own, you know, that's one thing. But if they get hit with a wildfire and then all of a sudden it takes forever for them to rebuild, they don't have the finances to rebuild, maybe there's a struggle with insurance. Who knows? Who knows? Maybe you didn't pay your insurance that month. Who knows?
And now all of a sudden this land gets snatched up and you're like, whoa. Yeah. Because if they just like one of the things that the governor was talking about was like turning it into a park or something like that. What did he say? Acquiring it for the state. What was his exact term that he said? But he said it like right after the tragedy. It was like, dude.
This is not the time to say it.
It's not the time to ever say it. It's not the time to ever say you're going to take people's land and turn it into a park because they just got hit by a fire. So now you used to live in this amazing place with a killer view. Not anymore. Now the government's going to take your land. Why? Because you got in a tragedy. What?
Yeah.
Like I got double fucked. You got double fucked. You don't even get to keep the land. You can't even rebuild there. No, not anymore. There was a tragedy here. Like, wait a minute.
Well, I think that's a weird thing when you don't feel like as a person that your government is going to support you. I think that's, but that's probably like a feeling why.
That sounds like the opposite. It's like your government's trying to rob you.
Right.
Like, did you find it? Find the quote that he said? You got to read the quote because the quote is like, it made so many Hawaiians so pissed off. Tulsi was so pissed off. BJ was pissed off. Everybody was like, this is crazy. Like, how can you say that right after a tragedy like this?
Yeah, I remember I went there. I just walked up to the fire department that was like up the hill from there. Oh, man. And I just walked up and I was like, hey, I would like to, is there any way that I could go see what happened?
When I was looking for it, this says that the video was shortened and it makes the comments distorted.
It distorts Hawaii governor's comments about the state buying land in Lahaina. So what did the actual say, though? I'm already thinking about ways for the state to acquire that land. so that we could put it into workforce housing to put it back to families or to make it open spaces in perpetuity as a memorial to people who are lost.
We want this to be something that we remember after the pain passes as a magic place and Lahaina will rebuild. The tragedy right now is the loss of life. The buildings can be rebuilt over time. Even the banyan tree may survive. But we don't want this to become a clear space where then, yes, people from overseas come and decide they're going to take it. The state will take it and preserve it first.
So maybe some of their goal was to preserve it.
Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Say that again. Scroll back. This is interesting. We don't want this to become a clear space where then, yes, people from overseas come and decide they're going to take it. The state will take it and preserve it first. I think what they're probably worried about then is the banks grabbing it.
So them saying that the state could take the land might be to prevent the banks from grabbing it and selling it and putting something there. But it still seems like overreach if you're living in the fucking place where the state's going to take the land.
Well, it would be very scary as just a regular person. So I'm either going to lose my land to here or to here.
Right. Like, where am I going now? What am I doing? You know, and you don't hear anything about it. Yeah, you don't anymore. We looked it up once. There was a time where the government accidentally over sent money to Ukraine. They sent them six billion dollars they shouldn't have sent. So we looked up how much would it have cost to rebuild every house in Maui from the fires? It's five billion.
So the extra money that they accidentally sent to Ukraine, they could have sent there and rebuilt every house and had a billion dollars left over. But... But we give you $700. Unreal. That's disgusting. That's disgusting. Like, if you want us to pretend that we're all on the same team, you've got to treat us all like we're on the same team.
You can't literally be throwing all this money into Ukraine, and then there's places in America that suck, and you're not doing anything to help these folks. Like...
Yeah, and people will say like, well, your tax dollars don't affect it. But at a certain point, it's not even about that. It's just like, do you not... Like, if I'm an American and I'm contributing to this business by being an American and being part of the system, does the system not care about me, you know?
But I guess everybody thinks about that in different ways, so... Well, I think whenever you have a system... I don't know, man. I'm out of my mind.
System, you know, system's a bunch of people. And so when you have a bunch of people, an enormous amount of people, it's too many people to think about as individuals. You think about it as numbers. And that's like the sort of... sociopath version of a government. They just think of you as a number.
Yeah. But when people start to lose their purpose, like if you start to lose your sense of being an American, that's big for a lot of people, right? So then it's a sense of purpose, right? One of the senses of purpose is I feel like that we get, or like having a job, having a family or somebody that loves you or that you love, or being a part of a country, right?
Being a part of a fabric of a society. And when those things start to erode, some of those things, And if you don't have any other ones to back it up, then people get really rogue.
Well, they get rogue, especially if they've been told by the mainstream media forever that if one side wins, you're going to be in a right-wing fascist dictatorship. Yeah, that just fucking pisses me off. I don't understand that. That should be a crime. Well, at the very least, it's slanderous. It's not true. You can't back that up. It's not true.
Like you're saying something that we have evidence of four years of him being a president and not doing that.
And what does fascist mean?
Let's look up the actual definition. But there's a bunch of different versions of it. It's usually connected to a right-wing authoritarian ideology and a power of the state over people. And it gets twisted around a lot because it's also – you could also say it's fascist to impose certain ideas on people, demand certain speech, which would make a lot of left-wing people fascist as well.
Far-right authoritarian and utilitarian ultra-nationalist political ideology and movement characterized by a dictatorial leader, centralized autocracy, militarism, forcible suppression of opposition, belief in natural social hierarchy, subordination of individual interests for the perceived good of the nation or race.
And strong regimentation of society and economy opposed to anarchism, democracy, pluralism, egalitarianism, liberalism, socialism, and Marxism. Fascism is placed on the far right wing within the traditional left-right wing spectrum. Who's doing all that? No one is. So it's like it's a bullshit term that you're throwing on a guy who has a different political philosophy than you.
Put it back up again, please. It's like... There's real fascists in the world. There's really dangerous people. That guy's not. He's got a big ego. He says ridiculous things. Who are you talking about? Trump. He doesn't behave like a guy that you think of in a traditional sense of being the president.
No, he just seems like just an older guy who kind of likes being Donald Trump.
I think he loves being Donald Trump, but I think he's got some good ideas that a lot of businessmen agree with.
Well, I think you need a businessman to do this. It's not a... We don't live in this Care Bear world anymore. Our politics, it's become a dirty fucking business. So I think you want a businessman in there. I don't care if somebody's attitude... Can the guy do business? Then that's who I... Because it's not... It's all business now. Like we've been, it's been sold out.
It's like, I don't feel like it's this. I don't know. Does that make any sense, dude? Sorry, dude. I'm fucking having a day, man. No, don't apologize.
I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying.
Yeah, it is business. But you want a shrewd businessman. I don't need Mary Poppins in there, right? I don't need somebody to tell me everything's okay. I need somebody to make our fucking food safe. I need somebody to make our streets safe. And that's all I really need.
I feel like if I'm paying taxes, then those are the things that I should expect at my FDA and at my police department, which I'm paying for, are going to be able to... Make sure that I can raise a family and raise them healthily and make it home from work to see my children. I feel like I don't have any children yet, but I already feel, you know, that's what I feel like people want.
I don't care about anything else.
Yeah, I think most people feel the same way. They just want to be safe and happy. RFK Jr. tweeted something. See if you can find that.
Well, Adam McKay had a great, great tweet.
But RFK tweeted like a message to... The thing you sent me yesterday?
Yeah.
Is it the RFK one?
Yeah. It's long, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. What's the matter, bro?
Just having the worst day today, man.
I got it right here if you want it. I got it.
Sorry. Being a downer.
No, you're not being a downer. This wasn't it.
I'm sorry, man.
Look at that. FDA's war on public health is about to end. This includes its aggressive suppression of psychedelics, peptides, stem cells, raw milk, hyperbaric therapies, chelating compounds, ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, vitamins, clean food, sunshine, exercise, nutraceuticals, and anything else that advances human health and can't be patented by pharma.
If you work for the FDA and are a part of this corrupt system... I have two messages for you. Number one, preserve your records. And number two, pack your bags. Whoa. That's what's crazy about Trump winning. That's what's crazy. Yeah, that's the thing. I love this. And then you've got people like Tulsi. That's the type of person you want. Congresswoman for eight years. Impeccable character.
And then you've got Vivek, who's a genius. You've got J.D. Vance, who's fucking brilliant as well.
Oh, he's great.
So you have a bunch of good people with him this go around. Well, yeah, it's like we got to get people off each other's necks, man. You know, that's what we got to do. We got to get people to like stop attacking each other. It's so crazy.
Well, I felt a sense of like even after the election was over, I felt like people everything just felt kind of calm.
Well, it's a team thing, dude. It's like your team lost. It really is. These people that are super addicted to politics, they're like people who don't follow sports, never played any games. This is the way they compete. They compete for the most important thing, like who gets to dictate the tone of the country.
Right. I've never expected politics to have any effect on my life. Even when I was a kid, I didn't. My mom told us don't ever depend on the government for anything. You just have to figure it out. They used to have some rich dude or whatever. Our street, it would cut between the highway and this other road where people would go. They had a guy who was a veterinarian or whatever.
He would go down our street. He would stop and throw out... He was a veterinarian. And he would throw animal carcasses into our ditch and shit, right? Jesus Christ.
Like dead cats and shit?
Yeah, dead animals. Different animals. Nothing really, I would say, medium size. Probably 32 waist and lower, right? Right. He would throw those bitches out into the fucking ditch. I guess to just get rid of them. And our neighborhood was like the poor neighborhood. So it was like, who gives a fuck about these people, right? What an asshole. Totally. Just throw them on the streets?
Throw them in the ditch. But we called the police and they'd be like, yeah, we'll help. And they would never come, you know. And my mom was like, don't ever. I remember telling her, do not ever expect the government to fucking help you do anything. You have to do shit yourself, you know.
Also, cops don't want to take dead animals and fucking pick it up and put it in a bag. Like, that's not what they signed up for. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, if they're not busy... And then go investigate the... Let's see, what kind of animal is this? Yeah, it was this veterinarian.
And he would just throw those bitches. And sometimes it would be, you know, after they died or whatever, like... After they, like... You know, after the bones got blanced or whatever by the sun, we would fucking throw, you know, do like games or shit, but nothing. What? Or, you know, throw them at each other. You guys would throw in bones at each other? Yeah, fucking six rib cages there. Yeah.
You're fucking, bro. Welcome to Haiti, dude.
That's probably why you don't get sick a lot. You probably got immunized by the... All the bacteria on finding dead animals.
Yeah, we had a good time. But nothing like that snake head in that ditch. Bring that thing back up, dude.
I wonder how many fucking kids that get helicopter parented get allergic to more shit because they don't get exposed to things. They're not crawling around, playing in dirt and shit. All that stuff's probably got to be good for your body. Right? When you're little kids, especially playing in dirt, playing outside. Oh, yeah. If you're just sheltered or whatever. Yeah.
Just for your biome, it's got to be good for you.
Yeah, I'm trying to think of what was in our biome or whatever.
Or whatever.
You know, I'll get to ask my mom, I guess. Yeah, that snake was crazy. That's the crazy thing to me, man, is seeing a snake eat something like that.
Do you know how many snakes there are in the Everglades? There's more pythons. More pythons in the Everglades.
I would guess 150,000. Oh, no, that's even low, I bet. I would bet 200,000. 500,000.
That's just a rough estimation that could be off by a factor of who fucking knows. They don't really know. It's dense, dense, dense, dense jungle.
Yeah, and the guy you're asking is probably like, yeah, it's probably fire.
I had this dude in here, a python cowboy. He goes and hunts for them. He's got a dog, and the dog will find the nests. He's pulling these giant-ass pythons out of nests. That dog's been sexually assaulted, I bet. I'll say that. Dude, that dog's a psychopath. It's going after something that could easily swallow it.
Dude, that's a 77-pound deer. You see that? Yeah, dude. That thing is a damn sixth grader, dude. They eat alligators.
That's crazy. This is the crazy thing. Because of the introduction of pythons into the Everglades, 90% of all the mammals are missing. There's no mammals anymore.
Oh, they ate them all.
They ate them all. Wow. 90% are missing.
How long does it take a snake to eat something that big?
Well, the thing is the number of snakes. Like, it's the perfect environment for those animals. Like, it's like they just dropped off in paradise. Nothing eats them. There's no crocodiles.
Snakes, yeah, they're living it.
So some alligators must eat some of them.
But how long does it take a snake to eat something?
Look at this. 2012 study found that... Populations of raccoon had declined 99.3%, opossums 98.9%, and bobcats 87.5% since 1997. Marsh rabbits, cottontail rabbits, and foxes effectively disappeared over that time. Got it! So they've essentially eradicated all the rabbits. And the foxes.
But how long does it, I mean, it's unbelievable. But how long, that's Satan working as well. And how long does it take? How long does it take a snake to digest? Like how long does it take once it gets that deer?
That's a good question. I wonder. I know that.
Like is it days or is it like weeks? Let's guess.
Okay. A full deer. One week. I say one week.
Ooh, that's a pretty good guess.
Because there's like antlers and shit and hooves. Yeah, yeah.
Wish I guessed that.
Do you think they swallow the antlers? Do they go for the bucks and swallow antlers? Well, I bet. Can you imagine swallowing? You'd feel like such an asshole when the antler was going down. You'd be like, oh my God, I can't believe I swallowed the antler. That's going to take forever to break down. You're just going to be rolling around with antlers inside your chest forever. Yeah.
Oh, every way you go, ow, ow. Just the revenge of that deer.
No comfortable way to sleep. What do they do with the antlers, man? Well, they must die. I'm sure they just get to that point and the rest of the body is deceased.
Well, the antler is just bone, but it's so pokey. Like, look at it. I would bet three weeks. Isn't that the wildest thing that nature does, dude? Nature gives them weapons for a few months. This is what happens with a deer. When they stop breeding, these fall off. Every year. So you find them on the ground. They call them sheds. So you can only defend yourself while you're breeding. Exactly.
And it's offensive as much as it's defensive. They run at each other and clash. You see them fighting. It happens all the time. It's pretty fucking cool. They go after each other and just fuck each other up.
Yeah, they'll see them sometimes hooked together. Yeah. I mean, nature's danger. Nature is really, really unbelievable. That's the number one person in the world.
I saw a horrible video of these two deer that got locked together. So they're clashing antlers. They got locked together. And one of them got eaten by a coyote. So one was still alive, connected to this body, couldn't get away, while the other one got torn apart by a coyote. And it was just dumb luck that the coyotes picked him versus that because neither one of them can get away.
The coyotes recognized that they were locked into each other and just picked one and went after him, just gutted him.
That's like when you're in a threesome, but nobody wants to touch you.
Look at this thing. He's trying to eat one with antlers and got fucked up. Oh, God. Oh, it cut his own body open? It bails on it.
Oh, it split his body wide open. Oh, my God. Oh, look at his mouth. He's got the antlers stuck through his fucking jaw.
I would hate something.
I hate it when people take... Oh, he slid off of it. Wow.
I hate it when people take a long time to eat, you know?
Oh, it went right through him. Yeah.
But don't you hate that, though, like when you're eating and somebody, you're done eating and they're still eating?
That doesn't bother me at all. That bothers you? Yeah. Why? It doesn't bother me even a little bit. Really? No.
Yeah, like you're at a restaurant and they're done, right? They're done and you have to fucking, you're done. And they're still just.
They're still eating.
Yeah.
Well, just talk to them.
Yeah, but then you feel like you have to pretend like you're still like scraping your bowl or whatever.
No. No. You're thinking too much.
I think it's crazy to sit there and watch somebody eat. Do you? Yeah, bro. Why? Because, dude, they're eating. Yeah, but you were eating with them, too. Yeah, but you're done. So what? Now you're just going to fucking look at them?
I'm just going to look at them. Like, how is it? Tell me about each bite. No.
I don't like when people eat real slow.
okay makes me nervous well you should just like be real clear about that before you go out with someone like let's eat okay like we can eat together but i got this thing like when i'm done you're done imagine if you're like super reasonable boyfriend in every other way but you just had this rule when i'm done eating no one eats and she's like well this is bullshit like i know it sounds crazy i can't kick it it's i have a tick
I have a psychological problem. I can't just sit there. So when I'm done eating, you have to be done. And I don't eat fast. I don't eat fast. But I'm warning you, when that fucking bell rings, all forks are off the table.
bone epitimes up dude that would be the weirdest thing that you're obsessed with you have to you have to end at the exact same time last bite that kind of shit yeah i just that would make me i just yeah that kind of stuff little things kind of make me uncomfortable dude but that uh what else am i thinking about pythons
Yeah, pythons, whales or whatever. Big animals. Dude, it's crazy like how they have all those Airbnbs now where it's like you can stay in like a hollowed out whale carcass out here on the pocket. You know, it's like.
like airbnbs bring up some airbnbs please sir they've gotten weird it's like welcome to this uh it's like oh yeah it's like welcome to this two-story whale carcass down here at punta verde mexico they make up it's like punta every month there's a new punta in mexico you're like what the fuck are we doing renamed a city every time it's like welcome to fucking punta pescado mexico you want to stay in this two bedroom you can stay in that it's a potato i
It's a giant potato.
What is that? What did they call it? Okay, 10 weirdest Airbnb listings let you sleep in a shoe, an elephant, and a flying saucer. Yo, let's go to the flying saucer. Oh, shit. I want to stay there. That's yours, dude. Bro, if I wasn't married, I'd have the stupidest house. My house would be one of two things. I'd either have it built into the side of a hill like The Hobbit. Oh, yeah.
That would be kind of dope. Or I would go full spaceship. Yeah. Just a house where a 16-year-old boy would see it and be like, dude. Yeah, just appear to the child in you. Like Kid Rock's vibe. Totally Kid Rock's vibe. Kid Rock's White House, I maintain, is the coolest celebrity house I've ever been to.
It's one of one, man.
It's not just one of one. He's the only one that would even think about doing that. It's like him and maybe John Daly would build a fucking White House.
John Daly's unbelievable, dude. Every time I go somewhere, every time he's there, an ambulance takes him home. It's fucking unbelievable, dude. Every time I'm there, it's almost like he hits a hole in heaven, dude. I'm like, this motherfucker's headed. One time, the ambulance came. They came in to look for him. He went out and sat in the ambulance to ride home with him, bro.
And they're in the place, and they're like, where is he?
There's something everybody loves about the overweight dude who's really good at a game.
Dude, do you see that golfer girl, though, the girl that smokes, the female John Daly, dude?
No.
Yeah. She hot?
Oh, yeah, buddy. She smokes cigarettes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, boy. She's hot? Yeah. Whoa.
Welcome to 1984. It's coming back.
Let's do it, dude.
Let's go. Because I got to get a damn wife, Joe Rogan.
That's your move. Get yourself a golfer wife. Oh, look at that. Smoking cigarettes, looking hot. Yeah. Let me see. Ooh, baby. And smoking in front of everybody, too. Yeah, she just rips darts on the... Is she from England? Yeah. Ah, there you go.
Puffer McGavin, dude.
They over there, they just fucking smoke. They smoke a lot more over there. Everybody's got a goddamn cigarette.
Oh, yeah. I'll smoke that lady.
I bet you will.
Sorry, that's insane. That sounds like a death threat. John Daly is like... Also, man, if she could be married, I have no idea.
Yeah, right? Don't be rude. What the fuck's wrong with you, bro?
I don't know. I'm just fucking... Everything's high strung today.
There was a professional pool player. I'm on tour at all. His name was Kid Delicious. And everybody loved him because he was this big, fat dude who played really good. But it was the big, fat guy thing that people liked. Like, oh. You don't have to be a fucking athlete. You don't have to be any good.
You don't have to be a guy eating salads and fucking getting up in the morning doing yoga before you come to the pool hall. No. This guy is out there eating hot dogs. That was kid delicious. Yeah. There's a great book about him. John Wertheim, I think his name, Running the Table. Yeah.
Yeah, people love short-term fats, man. There's something about it. If you know there's a bigger guy and you think he's not going to live long, there's an exceptional amount of love that goes into them immediately.
But John Daly back in the day wasn't fat. He was like an athlete. This is just a lifetime of living hard. Oh, he's a fucking-
Oh, he looks great. No, John Taylor's an exceptional guy. Great storyteller. He's a fucking, he's the Santa Claus of every 7-Eleven I've ever been to.
Look at that hair. And he's a guy that's been playing golf for like how many fucking years now, you know?
I don't know.
Yeah.
He'll hit a 68 in an ICU, dude. This guy's one of a kind, I feel like. You know? Nobody could do it like him. He's exceptional.
All he drinks is Diet Coke. Yeah, sure. He doesn't like water.
He likes things other than Diet Coke.
I'm sure, but he doesn't drink water. No, he's great, man. I'm sure he drinks alcohol, too.
Yeah, don't you want to stay in this hollowed out moose carcass out here in Bend, Oregon? Do you? Don't you want to stay in our tree house?
Who built this? Where do I shit? Dude, Airbnbs have gotten so crazy. Don't people rent out like tents and shit? Yeah, it's like... They'll supply you the tent and everything like that.
It's just like regular shit. People are like, yeah, we'll go stay there, you know?
Not a bad move if you don't want to set up a tent. Like, I like camping, but I'm too lazy to set up a tent.
I'll just show up at your house.
You know how you get them rods and shit? It's pain in the butt. It's all like...
And you look sad in front of your wife, too.
And you're tying it down, dink, dink, dink, in the ground, dink, dink, dink. And then you realize you're just sleeping in a little cloth house out in the woods.
Hey, buddy.
Yeah, there's an Airbnb tent. That's nice, dude. That's probably in Austin. You can fuck in this tent, bro.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah, let's go.
You ever did a lot of fucking outdoors, or what was your life like?
Outdoor fucking's the way to go. I ain't scared of mosquitoes. I'm an outdoor fucker whenever possible.
Did you ever do any when you were younger, Joe?
Yeah, he stuck away in the woods. Me and this one girl, we were fooling around in the woods. We never got to the actual sex part. We got close. We got ate alive by mosquitoes. We tried to get naked outside. And so literally our whole body was covered in mosquito bites. It was horrific.
Were we all near a stream or was it more landlocked area?
It was near a river. Yeah. Yeah, it was near the Charles River.
My guy.
Yeah. Kids would just go into the woods, you know? We'd always find kids drinking in the woods. Yeah. You know? Like, we lived in an area. I lived in Newton, Massachusetts when I was in high school. And Newton is a great town. Like, a really cool area. And where I lived, which is called Upper Falls, there was all these, like, woods and trees and shit.
And the river was right across the street from my house. And... It was always these wild kids playing Billy Squire on a boom box and smoking cigarettes. It was like The Outsiders. It was really interesting. And then one kid would get a car. Like, oh shit, Bobby's got a car.
Oh, it was the best, dude.
Bobby's driving us around.
Rockford Fosgate's in the trunk just coming down the street.
Dude, to this day, one of my favorite cars, I have a 1970 Chevelle. You own it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, bring it up. I would like to see it. But when I was a kid, before I had a car, my friend picked me up in his buddy's car. I didn't know the other dude. I met him from school or something like that, but I didn't know him. And he picked me up in this 1970 Chevelle.
It was black with white stripes, and it was perfect. And I remember I saw it. I was like, how does he own this? How can you own this? That's how I felt. I was sitting in the backseat of the car. I was like, this car is so crazy that you could own this car? And I remember he ran out of gas but coasted right into the gas station and stopped the car in front.
It was like the coolest thing I'd ever seen in my life. There's nothing better. The guy owned that car somehow. As a 16-year-old boy, I was looking at this car going, ha! How? How did you do this? How did you do this? Let's see it. No. That's a different car, Jamie. That's my 1970 Barracuda. That's a beautiful... I don't think the 70 Chevelle is on anywhere.
But it's just a Google Black 70 Chevelle SS white stripes. Dude, there's nothing like... That's it.
There's nothing like running out of gas and coasting to the fucking pump.
Mine looks almost exactly like that. But that's exactly like this kid's looked when he picked me up and I got a ride in his car. I was like, that's a 69. That's another amazing car. But that one, the upper one in the middle, that's my actual car. That's my car.
Ooh, wow.
Yeah.
Dude, I love that thing.
That's my favorite, I think, out of all of them. I love it so much. Because it brings me back to that moment when I was a 16-year-old kid and this guy had this car. I was like, how do you have this car? How is this even possible that you have this car?
Yeah. Oh, that was crazy. Dude, if an older kid picked you up when you were a kid and he had a car, it was like getting into somebody who had a car's car when you couldn't even have a car was the craziest feeling ever.
Because you couldn't believe it.
Yeah, you were like, what?
The things that we completely take for granted. Like your buddy picks you up and gives you a ride. Like, hey, what's up? How's it going on? It's normal. For you now, like, oh, I'm just sitting in the backseat of my friend's car. But back then, it was like, whoa.
Whoa. Yeah, hey, play something cool on the radio. Everything meant something.
I remember my friend Mike was taking flying lessons when I was in high school. And I went up in an airplane with him when I was 14. We were both 14. And he was taking flight lessons when I was like, what the fuck? I'm letting this 14-year-old kid fly me around with him in a plane and an instructor. Yeah, but back then, you were just so thrilled just to get out of your fucking house.
You'd hop in your buddy's backseat. You're like, where are we going? I don't know, man. We're going to go to Bobby's house. All right, you're listening to songs on the radio. You couldn't believe you were in a car.
Yeah, and it mattered if your hand was out the window, the window was down, if the window was up, how you were operating, if the seatbelt was on, if your arms were over this. You want to look cool. Yes, you want to look cool.
You got one hand on the steering wheel, one hand out the window.
And you thought everybody you drove past looked at you. What's up, kids?
How you doing?
What's up, kids? Just looking for some pussy. I remember there was this one dude.
Those were the days, man. When I was in high school, there was this one dude who was like, I think he was a couple of years older than us. And he graduated, but he was dating a girl that still went to the high school. And he had an IROC Z Camaro.
With the T-tops or no? Yeah.
Come on, bro. She's got to have the T-tops. And this dude pulled in front of the high school, and everybody couldn't believe it. He was like the coolest guy alive. Look at him in his IROG Z, picking up the girl that none of us can date.
We salute you.
Yeah. God, I fucking remember that shit, dude. I remember my brother one time fucking... I got more of the story. Sorry, go on.
That dude who had that IROC ran over a guy accidentally and dragged him through the city for miles. just tried to get the body out from under his car a couple times but couldn't do it, but just kept driving. So driving around this IROG Z with a person stuck under the car, driving for miles.
I hate that kind of thing. Have you ever had like a bag stuck under your car or whatever?
Yes, that's different.
I'm joking.
I feel like if you drive over someone, maybe pull over. Hey, maybe pull over. But I don't know, pull it over. Dude, what do you do at that point? There's like guys that you hear about from high school. It's like you feel like you're in a Stephen King book, like Stand By Me or something like that, you know?
Oh, totally. Everything felt like kind of had the Stephen King vibes back then, you know?
Well, people just disappeared back then and there was no phones and there was no internet and you barely remembered people if you didn't see them for a month. Like you didn't even have a picture. I have like five pictures of my friends from high school, you know? And mostly because my friend Jimmy sends them to me. But it's like you don't remember. You don't remember what anybody looked like.
You don't remember anything. But now... Too much. Now you know everything. But back then, it's like you would hear about this, like, one of the guys you went to high school with, he got in trouble, and like, oh, no, now he's in jail. Whoa.
Todd's in jail.
Yeah, whoa. I remember I met this one dude who just got out of jail. Yeah. He was friends of my friend. First guy I ever met that was in jail.
Mm-hmm.
And he had just the weirdest vibe. I had a buddy of mine who actually was a training partner of mine who was one guy. He was like this one way. And then he went to jail on a drug charge. And he came out like three years later. He was a totally different person.
Oh, wow.
He was super jacked. I don't know if he was doing steroids or what, but he was like really jacked and fucking aggressive and super dangerous. And he was telling me these stories about jail and about all the fights that he had gotten into in jail. And he got almost like a fight to the death with a mop stick in this guy. He was telling me these horrific fights, and it had just changed him, man.
I mean, I'd never experienced something like that before where I knew a guy before he went to prison, and then I knew him after prison, and he was just a completely different person and fucking very dangerous to spar with. Like, very dangerous. Like, he would try to kill you. We would have wars. Like, they weren't really sparring matches. They were fights.
People were, yeah, some people got dangerous, dude. Especially if they got on the drugs or got on the gear, you know?
This guy, I think, was both. I think he was on gear and I think he was doing coke. Because I know he was selling coke. I know he was getting coke for girls and stuff like that. He wound up dying. But here's where it gets really crazy.
while I knew this guy, like while he was training at the same gym as me, he got arrested and questioned in this murder where this guy who was an informant, I think he was an informant, they found him where he had been repeatedly injected with cocaine to keep him alive while they were breaking his bones.
So from him blacking out from the pain, they were injecting him with cocaine to keep him awake and conscious while they were breaking his bones with a hammer. I think they cut his hands and his head off too. And he got somehow or another, he got implicated or at least questioned about that. I was like, yo.
Imagine even being in the other room while that's going on.
Yeah.
You know, even trying to watch a show or whatever. Or just like...
You're like, keep it down. Jesus Christ. Can't you guys insulate your torture house? It's fucking up the rest of the neighborhood. Yeah, I mean, what the fuck, dude?
I would never be able to torture somebody, I don't think. I'm trying to think of the things I could do to somebody.
You might be able to do it if someone did something to your loved ones. I think you'd be surprised what a mother would do if she caught some person doing something to one of her children.
And a father too, huh?
Oh yeah. But I mean even mothers who you wouldn't even think of as being violent.
And do you think it's a choice they make or you think it's something that's just inside of them?
It's inside of you. And there's a choice, too, but it's inside of you. It's like we have instincts to protect our kids, you know, and you could get crazy violent. Yeah. And normal, regular people can get crazy violent to protect their children.
And it also seems like there's a lot of cases now where people are deceasing their own children.
killing their own children yeah there's always been that man there's always been evil people but it's just crazy you know people have children yeah man there's people that poison their kids there's this there's evil people out there and in every you know stretch of the world you're going to get a certain percentage of our population that just doesn't come out right you know and that's normal it's like everything there's always a percentage that's just not right yeah
Well, whatever the struggle that the human race is involved in is if you wanted to break it down and just philosophically, it's essentially a struggle between good and evil. Always. It's always a struggle between good and evil.
Yeah.
And you're always going to have a certain amount of evil that you have to overcome. And I think that amount of evil that you overcome should be small, but I think it enforces this idea to do good. And the good conquers evil if everybody works together cooperatively. But you need something.
If you don't have resistance, it feels like people, the way we're designed to constantly try to innovate and make better things and improve upon society, improve upon our own lives, we're always like trying for progress, right? I think that's all sort of tied in to competition. And competition needs a foe. You need an antagonist and a protagonist. You need resistance.
And I think the unfortunate thing is that there is evil in the world. The fortunate thing is that evil makes you appreciate love, and it motivates people to stop evil, and it motivates people to limit evil. You know, like the calls for law and order in this country, like during the riots, remember? when everybody was like, we need law and order. We need law and order.
You can't have just people breaking into things and stealing everything in law and order. That kind of stuff. That's good versus evil. It's evil to just smash windows and steal things in the name of some guy that you don't know who died unjustly. That's crazy. You're just using this as an opportunity to say, fuck everyone.
You can't have people just running around saying, fuck everyone and lighting things on fire. You can't have that. You can't have that. So, when you encounter these different things, it makes you appreciate not having those things, so it motivates you. One of the things that got people excited about Trump being in office is that he wanted to get away from all this defund the police shit.
He wanted to get the country back to law and order. He wants us to increase manufacturing, increase ... All the things that make people feel good about the future.
Will give you purpose.
Yeah, and they didn't feel that way about the message that they were hearing from the other side. They felt like it was going to be more of the same shit, and more of the same shit doesn't get anything done. We still keep getting involved in these wars that we don't want to be involved in.
Yeah, shut it down. Shut down everything that doesn't have to do with us, I feel like, for a while. It's like there's just a lot of stuff that we haven't even healed from in this country, you know? Oh, yeah. That's the biggest thing. I think there's a lot of things that we haven't healed from that we should try to address as a group, you know?
And that could be like everything from Native American times, slavery times, opioid epidemic. There's tons of things I feel like that it's like – and I don't know how you do that. I mean I know time has a lot to do with it, but it's like I just don't know if sending our resources elsewhere is the most important thing right now when it's like we could – I think try at least to help.
Trump thinks he can fix these overseas conflicts. I don't know if he can. But the point is like something has to be done. We can't just keep throwing money at war and ignoring ourselves. That seems crazy. And if you're saying we're not ignoring ourselves, well, we're not spending the money and the resources that we need to fix all the problems that we have.
Yeah, it's like even if you look at like, um, you know, recently I learned, sorry, recently I learned that like the number one cause of medical debt is insurance is medical debt is the number one cause of bankruptcy in America, right?
Is it really? Yeah. That's crazy. That makes sense.
It's crazy that there's just such a laundering system that goes on. It's money laundering.
Well, yeah.
Between hospitals and insurance companies.
There's definitely, I mean, if you talk to Brigham Bueller from Wastewell, he'll explain to you. Yeah, I just went there the other day. He's the man.
I went to Kuya and I went there, dude.
Nice. I've been trying to get well while I'm here. Try to get well.
It's been tough.
What were we just talking about? Medical debt yeah, he'll explain it real well. It's like it's a you know It's kind of a fucked-up system But it just makes sense that that would be the number one reason why people would go bankrupt because you're out of work because you got a medical issue Then you have medical bills if you don't have insurance. You're really fucked.
You don't have insurance like wolf But it's just a scam like the prices for our drugs are so much more than other countries just things that it's like our Government doesn't want to make better deals because there is this middleman that's making a lot of money off of it You know
There's that. I don't know. There's definitely a lot of influence with a lot of money.
I don't know a lot.
And also companies that we need. Pfizer makes good stuff. I mean, these companies make really beneficial drugs too. Yeah. But it's just the problem with all these fucking people is- They just want to make more money constantly. And if they can get you taking more pills than you need, they will. That's how they sell. They want to sell pills. They can come up with a reason. Are you anxious?
I am a little. Hey, here you go. And next thing you know, you're dependent.
Yeah, it's like, do you have two legs? You ever been on a bicycle? Like, the things are just crazy, you know? Do your feet itch? Yeah. You ever had oatmeal raising cookies? And you're like, well, fucking this is me, I think.
We can't let them advertise. That's true. People are still going to buy the drugs, but the advertising thing is crazy because it affects the media, too. It affects what people are allowed to investigate. It affects what the...
The news is.
Because the news is not going to give you everything. They're going to conveniently ignore things that would affect their partnerships. Yeah. Yeah, it's all advertising. Yeah. What did we say it was again? The amount of billions of dollars they spend every year on advertising pharmaceutical drug companies?
Were you nervous about endorsing Trump or no?
I usually try to stay out of it.
Yeah.
But I felt like I was getting urged to by Dana and there's quite a few people. I didn't think it makes a difference. I kind of already stated what I thought about the way things were going and that some radical change need to take place.
Yeah.
In my opinion. I just I'm not buying like, you know, when we're talking about before with the way the country feels like the way the country felt when Biden was in office was shaky and Because regardless of what you thought about his policies, what you did in place, it was real clear something was wrong with him. And they were lying to us. Oh, yeah.
So that alone makes the whole country feel uneasy, right? Even if you think that the administration is moving certain policies and certain things are moving in the right direction, the economy is moving in the right general direction, even if you agree to those things, when you have a guy that's at the front that's obviously – in some way compromised. There's something going on.
Something going on that they don't want to admit. And everybody knows it. And he drifts off and he says things that don't make sense. And something's wrong. So everybody feels uncomfortable, even if everything's going well, right? Because for good or for bad, that person that's in that office kind of sets a tone for the country. And the tone for the last four years was confusion.
So regardless of their policies, the tone that's being established whenever he talks or whenever she does interviews or she talks is a confusing talk. There's word salad and then there's like these moments where it seems like she doesn't know how to wrap up a sentence, which can just be nerves. It could just be nerves talking in front of large groups of people. It doesn't mean she's not brilliant.
It really doesn't.
Yeah, she was new and kind of thrown into it.
But some people clam up when they have to do those things. But then there's the argument that's the job, though. You have to be able to do that because you're going to have to be able to talk to Putin and presidents of these different countries and leaders throughout the world. You've got to be able to handle pressure. So that's kind of part of it, too.
Kind of part of it, too, is you've got to be able to handle pressure. But the thing that people worry about Trump is that he's so antagonistic and that then that's the tone of the country. And the tone of the country is not like the tone of the Obama administration I always felt was the best because he was measured, never attacked anybody. He was very articulate and smooth. Yeah, he was smooth.
There was not a lot of ums and ahs. Like some people, Trump throws too many extra words in, but it's just his flavor. His flavor is he rambles. He goes all over the place. Like I joke, look at this hair. What is wrong with my hair? He makes fun. He's like doing standup up there. Obama was the smoothest. And Clinton was pretty fucking smooth, too. Maybe Clinton and Obama. Those are the goats.
So when you get a person, for good or for bad, that's smooth and talks like a professional, like an actual president, it makes everybody like, whew. He's got this. This guy's a real professional president. Like, look at him. With Trump, you're like, I hate Taylor Swift. Like, no! Don't do that! Don't say that! Yeah, you pressed the wrong button today, buddy.
He tweeted out that that lady that he allegedly slept with was, he called her a horse face. Why was the president...
It's so crazy to do.
It's fucking unreal. But for a lot of super sensitive people and progressive people, that's why they want to believe that he's Hitler. They look at these things and then they don't look at it as a flavor in the soup. Like, look, it's all pepper. No, it's not all pepper. Pepper's a part of it. Yeah, he probably shouldn't tweet, I hate Taylor Swift, but whatever.
What's important is what is he going to do in terms of fix all these problems that everybody agrees are real problems? And can he do it? And can he keep all these people in his staff, RFK Jr.? I don't know. I don't know if he can do it. But if he can, at least we have hope.
If RFK really does the things that we think he wants to do and starts to kind of clean up some of the corruption in the system, it'd be exciting. It'd be good for people. If we stop putting ingredients in foods that are illegal in Canada because they're dangerous, how about we stop doing that here? Yeah. Seems like a logical thing. It's not like Froot Loops in Canada sell that less.
It's probably equal sales.
And people would get unaddicted quick. You're really just getting people addicted to things. I don't even understand. And how about we prosecute that fucking Sackler family that fucking killed hundreds of thousands of people in our country? How about that? How about that? How about that?
Well, you saw the whole thing where they were trying to buy immunity.
Huh?
They were trying to buy immunity. They were going to have a settlement where they would give X amount of billions of dollars, but then they were immune to prosecution.
But isn't that what they did, though?
But I think what happened was they put a pause on that after the Netflix documentary came out. Wow. And we talked about it once, but I don't know where it's at now. But that family, they made billions of dollars by getting people hooked on opiates.
This family is mass murderers. Anybody with the last name, they should kick that gene pool out of our fucking country. Those people are fucking murderers, dude. I think a lot of people still haven't gotten over that shit.
And do you know that that was the same family that was involved in Valium?
Yeah. I do know that.
Mother's Little Helper. That was Valium. That's what ladies in the fucking 60s were taking Valium.
Heartless fucking lizards. Get those motherfuckers out of here. And that's one thing. That was one of the reasons why I was supportive of Vance. I just believe he has a soft spot for that type of thing, and I hope that it'll get... I don't know if he can do anything because lobbies are so big now.
Wasn't someone in his family an addict?
Yeah, his mother suffered from addiction, you know?
Right, right.
But he's just seen it, you know?
Make sure that the Sackler family was involved in the Valium thing. I don't want to have to edit that out. As if I called them a piece of shit about one thing, but hey, we weren't a piece of shit about that other thing. I think they were, though.
I just, that shit, like, even thinking about it, bro, it makes me so angry.
You know, because you don't know the family member. Yeah. Arthur Sackler, a member of the Sackler family, was a major figure in the promotion of Valium through direct marketing to physicians in the 1960s. Yeah, that is it. So same family. Yeah. Evil. Evil. It's literally evil. Just destroying lives.
It's the devil. It's the devil.
It's a drug dealer. It's one of the worst drug dealers because you're sneaking around with doctors. You're sneaking around under this guise of authority.
Well, one of the problems is that say if you work for a politician in D.C., they can only pay you so much money by law to work with them and help put their bills together. So at a certain point, the lobbyists can pay more to those same people who have been writing bills. For the congressmen and for the senators. So they then go to work as lobbyists. That's one of the biggest problems.
So a lot of it is that we have a cap on certain salaries, right? And that we also don't have a law that stops people once you work for one side that you can't work for the other. Right, right.
That's the thing with the FDA and pharmaceutical drug companies.
And I'm not saying that there's – I don't know the answer. I'm just saying that that's one of the reasons why that happened.
It's a conflict of interest. Right. For sure. And it's just nobody regulated it. They allowed it to happen. It should be, if you're working for the FDA, should never be able to leave and go to a pharmaceutical drug company where you then make incredible amounts of money. That seems like a conflict of interest.
If you had conversations with these people and they'd say, listen, you're nice to us in a couple of years, golden parachute. You want a yacht? I think you need a yacht. You're a millionaire, which is bizarre that you can do that. It's just as bizarre as the whole insider trading in Congress. You know that a bill's going to get passed. You know this bill's going to affect a stock.
You gamble high on that stock. The bill gets passed. And you make a lot of money. That seems illegal. That seems illegal. Yes, cheating. That seems crazy. But there's a lot of those things, man. And this system was set up by people. And people are flawed.
Right. That's a good point. Yeah. It's like no one's going to do anything perfectly. I don't know.
Well, it's not just that accountability and transparency in terms of like what's actually going on is way different now because our access to information is way different now. Like anybody can just sort of Google budgets and Google this and you find out that and you find out things about the Pentagon and that about this like. There's just – you don't have to look in the New York Times anymore.
You don't have to wait for the news to come on at 5. Now you get it whenever you want it. And that's sort of changed everything with what you can get away with and not get away with. So for the longest time, even though there's rules and the Constitution is set up and the Bill of Rights –
There's been people that have had a lot of power for a long ass time without a bunch of people looking at them. And now more people are looking at them than ever before. And then you get this guy like Trump comes in like, FBI, they're crooked.
Whoa, bro, what are you doing?
You're going to war with the CIA. He's like that drunk uncle, dude. Bro, what about Barron Trump, dude? There's no credit. Whatever you think about this election, the whole thing to me is fascinating. First of all, because Dana White made so much stuff happen.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
Dana White made the Trump thing happen, for sure. He was trying to get me to have Trump on in like 2017. Bro, you would hear rumors of that in the distance. Bro, he would call me up. He'd call me up. Joe, listen, the president wants to do your podcast. I go, you mean Trump? You got to change the name of it. What are you doing, man? Why are you trying to get me in trouble?
You know, and back then I was like, I don't want to be a part of this. Too many people were angry. Too many people were pissed off. I was like, I don't need to. And I didn't pay attention to it enough. I didn't pay attention to the way they were misrepresenting things that he had said enough.
Yeah.
I didn't really... My wake-up call was when they went after me, when CNN went after me. I was like, yo, this is crazy. You think I'm taking veterinary drugs, bitch?
Yeah.
Like, what the fuck are you talking about? This is the dumb... Also... Why are you upset that I got better quick? Like, what is this about? Like that I took veterinary drugs and got better quick?
And why in the article? Hey, well, when you herald it, say, hey, this could be a possibility.
You know, it's like not only that, it's just there's no way they didn't know that it was for humans.
Those people are it's all sick.
But when I saw that and that was so minor in comparison, the way they've come up to Trump because they come up to Trump with lawsuits and all kinds of crazy shit. And I don't think he's a perfect person. I think he's fun. And I think he's a very competitive guy, which is why he likes playing golf so much. And it's why he wouldn't quit until he became the president again. And he pulled it off.
And the best thing that I've heard from people on the left is it's not the result that we wanted, but we hope the country can come together. And I think we should all have that mentality. This idea that we're all separate. We're on Team USA. And I think we should just like all publicly state nobody gives a fuck where you're from, what you do. You're on Team USA. We're all in this shit together.
That's it. Oh, yeah. That's it. Let's forget about all this identity politics nonsense. But is that going to happen, you think? At least we can put that thought out there instead of everyone's racist, everyone's a Nazi. That ain't helping nobody. You're just pushing people further and further away.
The people that used to identify as left, they've been forced to these sort of center-right positions just to maintain normalcy.
Yeah.
When you're giving puberty blockers to kids and you're opening up gender affirming care clinics and treating kids like shut the fuck up. You're not on the right side. You think you're on the right side because you think you're being compassionate. What you're doing is crazy to most people and we don't want it.
And we think you might be like in a cult like you're it's a giant cult of leftists that think crazy things. And they're allowing all sorts of bizarre things to happen in society, like the no cash bail thing, like things you think are good. Structural racism is why there's so many people in prison. Yeah, but you can't just let people out who shoot people.
You can't just have people robbing people and right back out on the street. You can't have that. You can't have that. You'll have a full deterioration of society and no one will thrive. And you'll be under chaos. You'll be like living in the favelas of Rio de Janeiro in just a decade. You can't just keep this trend going. You're going to fall apart.
And it's these idealistic utopian people that want these things to happen, these people that believe that Marxism has never been effectively done properly. But it can be done. There's a version of all of these different communist philosophies that you can imply. There's socialism that could work, right? There's a version of it that can work and make it more equitable for everybody.
But the end of that is always one thing. It's totalitarian control over what you say and do. Because as soon as you want to redistribute funds, as soon as you want to tell people they can't have things anymore, then you're going to have to take it from them.
Yeah. Well, I think, like, to me, everything kind of started to feel like this privatized communism, right? Like, once the post office didn't work, I was like, the government's fucked, dude. I was like, these bastards can't even get a package to fucking Toledo in two days, dude, you know?
The problem with the post office is that there's, like, UPS now.
Right, but you go in there, dude, it's like a West and they're serving liquor at the counter. Are they really? Yeah. The post office? It's gone downhill. They have liquor? I mean, they don't, but you could probably score a gram up there at the counter. It's gone. The doors, there's no hinges. Really? Dude, it's the Wild West over there. Which post office you going to, bro? Every post office, bro.
All of them are bad? Bro, it's... 75% of the post offices are – it's gotten – but I just use that as an example of like a – it just like started to fall apart, right?
The last time I saw a post office was the last election. That was the last time I went to a post office.
Well, yeah.
The last election when I mailed in my California ballot.
Yeah. And how many – you mailed in 20 million of them apparently. How many – And at that time, was there a saloon happening in there?
Isn't that like at least cause for concern, that leap in numbers?
Yeah.
What is it now, Jamie? Do we know what the official numbers are now?
The California one hasn't really, I don't know why it hasn't updated more.
California, they're digging in their heels.
They don't want to make the election real. I don't think either one of these parties is what the, people say like Democrat, they're not the same parties it was 15 years ago.
Most people are waking up to that. That's why if you look at the map of California. There's something new going on. Look at the map of California, red and blue, from 2016 and then look at it from – or rather 2020 and then 2024. There's a giant difference. I mean a giant difference. A giant difference in the amount of counties that went red.
It's just the big population centers are always going to be blue. They're in the trance. If you're in San Francisco and if you're in Los Angeles, you're in the trance. Like 70% of those people are in the trance. There's this leftist trance.
But they also believe things that mean something to them. So they're not like – because –
Right, but socially, they're connected to all these ideas. And socially, they're all hyper-liberal. They're socially locked into this mindset. It doesn't allow questioning narratives. It doesn't allow questioning these ideas. So the idea of questioning science was like, there's no way. What, you're a science denier? You could be a science denier.
You couldn't even say like, hey, are you sure that these companies who have been lying their entire careers, they've been fucking hit with these giant criminal penalties for lying. We know they lie. You sure they're telling you the truth about this drug when they haven't? injected giant swaths of the population with it before, but they're going to do it now. And they promise it's going to work.
And then they're lying about the promises. They're lying about whether it stops transmission. They never even tested for that. They're lying for whether or not it stops you from being infected. They didn't test for that either.
Well, the same people that own this own the publication company. It's just starting to be so obvious. It's like... I don't know.
But it's just money, man. It's just money. That's what it is.
At what point does money mean something over the fact of somebody's peace of mind and health and wellness? That's the thing I don't understand.
Because they've used their money wisely to connect it to an ideology. So this is what it is. If you're a vaccine skeptic or a vaccine denier, even if it's not even really a vaccine, I mean, you're calling it a vaccine, but that's kind of a sneaky move because it doesn't really work like a regular vaccine does. It works completely novel.
And if you can connect that with the people that's the logical, educated people that are reasonable and convince them that you can't look at it sideways. You can never examine it. You can never question it. You never question whether or not it's even necessary. You just have to go with it.
You can't question whether or not these other therapeutics that all these doctors have these anecdotal stories about people recovering from these antivirals and trying them. You can't. You got to reject that. That was crazy. Because you have that emergency use authorization thing.
That wasn't cool, man. I never took it, and guess what? Doing great. Crazy. Yeah, I'm depressed. I'm suffering from depression. Yeah, had a lot of issues and back pain today.
You are suffering from depression. Cry online a lot, but still. You're not hanging around with us. Come hang out here, man. Come move.
I know this year's been busy, man.
Bro, if you lived in town, you'd be hanging out all the time. I know. You'd feel better. You'd feel better. You need a little community. I know you, dude. You get weird when you're by yourself too long. You get weird.
Oh, and I spend a lot of time by myself.
You know, you call to check to see if people still like you.
Did I do that?
Yeah.
Fuck. That's most of my childhood.
Did I really do that? What time you did?
Oh, yeah.
I believe that. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I want to make sure we're cool. Oh, I believe that. I'm like, of course we're cool. Like, what are you talking about? What happened? Nothing. Just we ain't talked for a while.
Wow, did I really do that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I believe you 100%.
Yeah, it was a weird conversation.
Fuck, that's a story of my life, dude. Calling people to make sure we're okay.
Yeah, but I know you, man. So when you call me, I'm like, oh, 3-0 just needs some love. You're out there in the woods by yourself. You can't be alone, man.
Well, I think part of me, I've always just wanted to do my own thing. But then you start to realize that there's... That you, yeah, you're doing it by yourself. And I think that goes for like, whether it's work relationships or personal relationships too. You know, I think it's just like, it's been the same psychology for me. You know, like I'm the, I'll think, I never thought about this.
I'll think to myself, I want to be in a relationship, but I want to do it on my own. I just realized that, dude.
That's amazing.
But it's, that's how, there's something, it's just like. Well, you can marry yourself. People do that. I would hate that, dude. I'm always just chasing myself trying to jerk me off. I wouldn't get any sleep, dude. That would be a nightmare.
That would be a real problem.
Yeah, man. I do want to be around a group more.
This year's has been so... Doing it by yourself, but you are doing it by yourself, right? So you're doing your podcast by yourself. You're doing your stand-up by yourself. The thing about a club is you're doing it by yourself while everybody else is also doing it by themselves. Right, so you're around the same. But you're hanging out. You're having fun. You're...
you're charging up your love batteries. That's what it is.
Oh, the other night, even just being there, being able to laugh with Tony and like, Ron White was right there. You got Brian Simpson. You got Kurt Metzger. Everybody's just watching and dancing and figuring things out.
And then the fucking... Every now and then, Kurt would corner you with them conspiracies, bro. Did he ever get you? Did he get you? Oh, yeah. Bro, he drowned me. He took me in a rabbit hole.
Oh, 12 years a listener, dude. Into the ground.
There was an underwater river. He held me under. Bro, he took me to the fucking... I go, Kurt, I don't even remember the original conspiracy theory that led us to this mind control study that I should have known about. Yeah.
He's like, Jesus, Kurt.
And he's this giant dude, so he's like looming over you with conspiracies in his fucking crazy eyebrows.
He's like, you don't know about the Vanna White conspiracy? You don't know what's behind the E's? You don't know what's behind the E's?
Here's the thing, dude. Until he started working with Jimmy Dore, he's one of a kind.
Jimmy Dore's cool, huh? I never got to see him for years, but I've always been kind of admirable about him.
He's a great dude. He's a great dude. But before he started working for Jimmy, he didn't really have a lot of conspiracies in his head. It was like he got sort of exposed to all that working for Jimmy and doing that show, and he was like, oh, my God, this whole fucking thing is rigged. And then he'd just get rabbit hole after rabbit hole after rabbit hole after rabbit hole.
That dude will send you a text, and if you send him a text back, he will send you a chain of thoughts.
Doctrine.
Yeah, like a scroll. I want to save them. I want to save them. Because that would be a cool, almost like a book to publish. Texts with Kurt.
People would love that, too.
I love how passionate he is about stuff. He's a smart dude, man. Yeah, he's fun. Very, very, very smart dude.
It was fun. Yeah, that was just fun to see. Who else was there?
Brian Simpson, Ahsan Ahmad.
Ahsan was there.
Derek was there.
Derek's the best, dude, because you tell any joke, if it's good or not, you can look at Derek, and if he's laughing, it's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's a great green room hang. Yes. He'll let you know on his face immediately. To me, he's the be-all, end-all if something's funny.
He's a great person. He's just a nice guy to be around. He's so funny. He is very funny. That's the beautiful thing about the club is that there's so many nice people. Like I said, he charges up your love batteries. That's what we all need in this world. We all need a little more love, a little more fun. And I'm just hoping that Trump doesn't start attacking people. That's what I'm hoping.
I'm hoping that he just – and I know people around him want him to do that. Just concentrate on the positives.
Yeah.
Concentrate on the positives. You've got four years to do all sorts of things that could really benefit people, and then you will be remembered as that guy. Yeah.
Well, I just want people to tell us what's really going on. If they can't really do anything because the lobbyists are controlling everything, I wish somebody would just tell us that.
Well, I think if anybody's going to, it's him, especially now and especially with access to podcasts, right? So if he decides to do your podcast two months after he's in office and you have questions like that, all of a sudden Trump could probably tell you. Whatever, it's not top secret. He could probably tell you. He said he's going to release the JFK files.
We're going to find out a lot of things. We're going to find a lot of things. We're going to find out whether or not he's going to really keep RFK Jr. as a part of his organization or whether he's going to get pressure from pharmaceutical drug companies or whoever.
If he loses him, dude, that's not cool.
It's not cool. So there's that. And then there's, is he going to release the JFK files? Because he was told that he shouldn't release them. He said some of the people were still alive, which doesn't totally make sense because that was 1963. So most likely, most of those people would be dead of old age. But what does it mean, though, when someone says that?
That means that someone from the government could be implicated in the murder of the president. So if that's true, then would it be that they're worried that it would erode... all confidence in the intelligence agencies? Or are they worried that deeper investigations would take place? And then people start saying, well, what happened with Martin Luther King?
You know, because there was one that Mike Baker, who's a former CIA guy, was saying that one, like he investigated for a show. He goes, that one doesn't make any sense. That guy just started getting money. He was a loser his whole life. All of a sudden he had money. MLK? No, the guy killed him.
Oh, who was it?
James Earl Reeves.
James Earl Ray, maybe? Correct.
James Earl Ray? James Earl Ray. So that guy, Mike Baker broke it down for us. I don't remember exactly, but essentially what he's saying is that that guy was a drifter, was a loser, in and out of jail, that kind of a guy. And then all of a sudden he has access to money, he's staying in a nice place, and he has a gun.
Like what's going on?
He thinks that they set him up to kill Martin Luther King and that someone financed that, which is most likely. That makes sense. Yeah.
Well, back then, you could kind of kill somebody, and it was easier, you know? Think about, like, the Wild West, right? Like, if you killed somebody, they drew a picture of you.
Right. Haunted. All you have to do is shave your mustache. Well, that's not him. I'm looking for a guy with a mustache. Where'd he go? Clark can't put on glasses. Where'd he go? He killed my whole family. Where is he? Oh, that guy's got glasses. That can't be him.
Bro, you could literally go across the fucking behind a boulder, shave, come back to the town, get a job as a sheriff, and look for yourself for 20 years.
Crazy.
Bro, imagine how gross it must have been to come to some like fucking weird town. A brothel back then? Weird brothel town with a saloon. And you just smell like shit. You've been riding on the back of a horse for three days and you just wander into this weird fire lit community.
Ugh. Did you know James Earl Ray escaped prison before he supposedly killed? I don't know how it worked out. Oh, really? Yeah. You were saying, get a disguise. He got like a nose job. Oh, boy. But he also got a driver's license, made it to Mexico.
Oh, he's in prison. He used to work at a Kroger's. Wow.
He attempted to establish himself as a pornographic film director using mail order equipment. Who hasn't?
After a quarter of an eight ball, who hasn't?
You sound like a fucking psychopath. He considered emigrating to Rhodesia, now Zimbabwe, where a predominantly white minority regime had unilaterally assumed independence from the United Kingdom in 1965. Wow.
nose job yeah and then went to atlanta and then very quickly started to yeah decided to do what he did yeah it's tough man the heat down there is just fucking ruins everybody does drive people nuts especially we got that cat parasite you know then they're all moving around your head like get them out of my brain
Have you seen that show From on Amazon Prime? I haven't. Pretty good. Yo, you know what I've been watching, though, on Netflix? What is it?
Three Body Problem. Have you seen that?
I haven't seen it. I've been hearing people say it.
It's really good. It's by the people who made Game of Thrones.
Oh, really?
It's really good, dude. It's totally unique. Like, I don't want to tell you much about it. Yeah, don't say anything. It's science fiction, but it's totally unique. You watch it and you're going to go, oh, shit. At first you're like, what is going on here?
Yeah.
But after a while you're like, oh, shit. I'm on episode four now. Fuck, dude. And there's not going to be a season two for like three years.
Yeah, that's how they do some of that shit.
100%.
It's so good. And it's just one episode leads into the next one, into the next one. Oh, shit, I can't believe she did that. Oh, fuck, he's dead now. Oh, shit. Off with his head. Fucking, they killed the king in the very first episode. Unreal. Spoiler alert.
And they handicapped that kid out the gate, remember?
Yes, right out the gate.
Fuck. Usually it's the second season before you get a handicapped kid.
Bro, handicapped because that dude was fucking his sister and you didn't want anybody to know. That's crazy.
But back then there weren't any rules, were there?
I think you're never supposed to be fucking your sister. I think that's like back to caveman times.
Right. I'm sure there's something in most people that feels like, hey, that's not right. Let's shut it down. Let's go outside instead.
Well, that's like people always thought about that with rural communities.
You know, well, people say this a lot. I mean, I'm from obviously Louisiana. People say, you know, they're always like, hey, you know, you ever fucked your sister?
Yeah. Yeah.
And the thing what happened was people didn't live close to each other. So if you you're not going to travel. you're only gonna travel so far to- Are you advocating for fucking sisters? Fuck, no, I'm not. What are you saying? It seems like that's what you're doing. No, I'm saying this is what happened back then. People aren't gonna get a train ticket to come.
People are only gonna have sex within a certain distance of their- Right, good call. Right, that's why it happened.
Right.
You know, it's like, if a guy, it's like. There's no one there. Right. There's nobody there.
So they had to fuck their sister.
They didn't have to, but at a certain point they got lost and ended up back at, right by the house. You know, like something's got to happen here. I'm not saying it's cool. I'm just trying to tell you how it works out. Like, you know.
Well, that's how it certainly works out in the mammal kingdom. Yeah. Like if you have puppies, the boy puppy will fuck his sister. Yeah. 100%. He doesn't even think twice. He'll try to fuck you. They'll try to fuck your leg. They don't even know what they're doing.
Oh, yeah, dude. I was staying at my buddy Brad's house one night, right? We're dead asleep, right? And they let a bunch of puppies loose, dude. Those things are fucking gangbanging you. I didn't have a chance, dude. I didn't have a fucking ounce of milk on me, and those things are fucking sucking me off, bro.
Isn't it funny? It's crazy. We don't think that about people.
Right. It's crazy how it goes from animals to people, man.
Yeah, we're animals.
We're animals. Do you think there's a certain purpose for us, like there's a magical purpose for us, or do you think we are just an anomaly?
Well, I think even if there's not, this is a magical time. It's an interesting time, especially for people like us. They get to talk to so many fascinating people. I mean, we have a really cool job, not just as comics, but also as doing podcasts. I think you've gotten a great education doing that. You seem more introspective. You're more curious about things than I remember before. Yeah.
I think it did the same thing to me. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I almost feel like I know more. I wish I didn't know more stuff. Sometimes I miss knowing nothing.
Right. Yeah. Does that make any sense to you? For sure. I know my brain is filled with shit that I don't need.
Oh, yeah. You're a library, dude. I'm more like a red box where you rent that one movie.
You haven't been doing it as long. I've been doing it a lot longer. That's all it is. It's the amount I do, too. It's numbers.
But you are a library. There's certain types of people that can make it through certain things.
You wouldn't want to educate a child on this library. This is not a library you'd allow everybody to have access to.
No, it's 16 and older, I think.
There's a lot of stuff in my head. I was like, God, I wish I didn't know that about people.
Oh, that's interesting. You don't think about the side effects of somebody being able to have a memory that records so much.
Well, it's just you always concentrate on the worst possible aspects of people. And so if you know so many acts and things that people have done that have been horrific, you're always like the back of your head always has, but maybe that could happen. So it always sits there. It always sits there. If you're a completely... You grow up Amish or some shit.
You're like completely removed from society. You never see any violence. You never see anything. And then all of a sudden you have to go to a bar like downtown Detroit on a Saturday night. You see fist fights and people throwing glasses at each other. You'd be like, what the fuck is this? I'm not ready for this. I'm not prepared for this. You know?
Right, but if you know that exists, then it's always a possibility.
So if you see it too much, even if you don't see it in real life, the worst thing is seeing it in real life. That's what we were talking earlier about cops. Yeah. Cops are seeing it every day in real life. So you just get like super accustomed to seeing people dead, super accustomed to seeing people get injured.
Yeah, it's crazy how therapists make like $150 an hour, right? Right. But cops, who are basically therapists that also have to shoot at people, make $40 an hour.
I know.
That's crazy, dude, when you think about that. It's crazy.
And nobody wants that job. It is crazy.
But if you paid them like heroes, I feel like that they would more more fucking gladiators would show up and do it.
Yeah.
And they would have a real force out there, you know, and you would fall asleep at night knowing that severe warriors were taking care of your fucking community.
Yes. Do you think that's possible or not? People don't want to know that we need that. They don't want to kind of believe that you need like masculine, dangerous men to protect you. But that's always been the case. And if you're just looking realistically about violence and crime in the world, it exists. There's no utopian spot. So violence and crime exist.
There's only one way you can shield the nonviolent people who aren't committing crimes from the criminals, and that's dangerous men. You need dangerous armed men who are trained and are capable. That's what you need. It doesn't mean they should be running everything. It means you need 100% protection from dangerous people. Then here's the number one thing that nobody addresses.
You got to figure out why are so many people coming out of these same communities year after year after year after year being dangerous where no one's doing shit about it. No one's trying to fix it. No one's trying to enhance it. No one's trying to like... recognize, like, do you know how much income we're losing because these people don't grow up to become productive members of society?
Do you know how much damage it's causing if they go on to commit violent crimes and whatever, drug dealing, anything that can come out of that?
And do you know how much of a burden it is on the taxpayer to sort of put them through the criminal system and how much of that could be completely removed if that person grows up and becomes a productive member of society and instead starts contributing to society and it's a success story?
That's not impossible to do, but there's been no effort, no engineering large-scale national effort to completely eliminate these horrible spots in this country and not make everything the same and perfect. That's not possible, but there's a level of poverty that exists in this country that's You should never be that poor if you're a part of a community.
If you're a part of a community that takes care of everybody, there's no reason why you have $175 billion to ship to Ukraine, but you don't have any money to make sure that no one exists below a certain level of poverty.
Yeah, get fucked. When that kind of shit happens, they shouldn't be helping these other countries. I don't know why we send money to Israel, Ukraine. I just don't understand why we there's just people suffering here. You know, there's people that have been taken advantage of in our own country. And it's like you don't want to be selfish.
But if you don't take care, if you don't know your inventory, then your business is going to fail. Right. That's a that is. That is a law. If you don't take stock of your own inventory, your business will fail. And we don't have stock of our own inventory and we don't have a healthy inventory.
You know, it's like, it's just like, I don't understand how it's so, I don't, the weird thing is I start thinking, is that a radical idea?
It didn't used to be a radical idea, but it became a radical idea when people started floating about the idea that capitalism is evil. All capitalism is bad. There's all these people that have these utopian notions of how we should run our society.
Well, maybe it could be true at a certain point.
I think it's going to probably have to be true at a certain point because of A.I., I think we're going to get to some weird point where money seems like it's just ones and zeros. It's just numbers. And it's a bottleneck. The bottleneck of information, right? Because you can't have access to all the information if you have access to all the money. Then where's the money go? That's crazy.
But if we get to this point where we evolve past the state we're at now where you can't trust people to not steal your money, where you can't trust people to not lie, where you can't trust people to not manipulate things and try for their own benefit. If human beings can eventually get to a place like that, then I could see a time in our evolved future where we don't need money.
Or when everybody has the same amount, where instead of having this desire to constantly acquire goods and constantly acquire status and prestige in the community, have the bigger house, the bigger car, if that completely goes away and human beings really are one hive mind, I could see where we could equally share resources. But that's like... either a cyborg or a million years in the future.
I'm talking about where we get past all of our primitive cave people instincts and DNA that I think fucks with everything and is the cause of almost all of our problems.
Is who we are innately?
It's just our programming is fucked.
Yeah.
Because our programming is the same. Well, you know, there's some variations that have occurred over time, but reasonably similar, I should say, to people that lived 10,000 years ago.
Uh-huh.
So if you took a person from 10,000 years ago and you put them in a T-shirt like this and sat them in the movie theater, you wouldn't be able to tell. It would just look like us. Nuh-uh. Yeah. Yeah. So really, you think 100 percent? Yeah. I mean, they might have been smaller because they didn't give as much food, but a little like a small person. Yeah. We wouldn't know. You wouldn't know.
They would look just like us. So if you just put them in a suit and tie and sat them down, that guy would be like, what the fuck? Yeah. And that's basically us.
So that person, if you get a person lives 10,000 years ago, the amount of barbaric incidents that guy's probably seen by the time he becomes an adult, the amount of people he's probably seen slaughtered with swords and spears and seeing people lit on fire. That's all inside of us still. Right.
All that programming of like everybody's the enemy and you've got to protect the fields and protect the – that is all a part of our programming. And as technology increases and as we become more interconnected, that's going to be one of the biggest problems that we face is abandoning these bizarre primate characteristics that we still hold on to.
Yeah.
Because they're in our DNA. And they're not managed well. People need to manage them to suppress them.
And some people... Yeah, we try to pretend that don't exist.
Yeah.
We try to pretend that don't exist. Sorry if I stepped on you.
No, no, no. Have I been interrupting you a lot, man? I'm sorry, dude. No, you're awesome, man. What are you doing? Stop doing that. Don't apologize. I think I just hit that piece of it. My kidneys are starting to think. Well, let's wrap it up. We've been doing this for three hours. Have we really? At least. Yeah, it's almost five. Nuh-uh. It's almost five. Oh, man. My man, I love you.
I know I'm always trying to get you to move here, but it's because I think you'd be happier here. And selfishly, I want you around.
Well, thank you, dude. I appreciate it.
No, I want to be around.
This year's just been, it's just been, it's been like every time I'm not doing a podcast, I have to like, I'm traveling for work or it's like, it's just been a busy time.
Hey, if we open up another mothership, do you think Nashville would be a good spot? Is there enough, would we be fucking with Zany's or do you think we would help it?
No, I think it would be good because I think there's enough people there where you could do it.
Do you have enough comics in Nashville? How many comics are in Nashville? There's some. You gotta have like a base, you know, like that want to perform all the time.
Right. I'll do some recon for you.
We're thinking. We're thinking of going to other spots.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, that would be cool, man, because at least I know the area. I could be, you know.
We thought about going to the most woke place in Brooklyn, setting up shop. Yeah.
I bet it would thrive, though.
Well, we can find out.
There's only one way to do it, dude.
wow man i can't believe it's so crazy that i was there to watch the list like the elect just like what a night and was like it was really fun time to watch the election at the club in the green room we're all hopping back and forth off stage like who's winning it was fun man it was so crazy dude drinking diet cokes and just having a good time deal vaughn i love you to death you're one of my favorite people i appreciate you very much
I love you too, man. Thanks for being inspiring. And thanks for, yeah, sometimes you would like, I would do a podcast episode and you would just say, you would reach out and say, hey, man, I like that episode. And it just meant a lot. I just want to let you know that.
Well, it does. You do a great job, man. I really love your show. I think you got some great interviews and you got a great, you got a nice way of being yourself, you know, when you're talking to anybody. And that's what I think people really like. They like to see conversations where people are just being themselves. And the fact that you could do that with Trump, That's fun. It's inspiring.
So it's nice to see, man. I really, really love it.
Well, thanks. Thanks, man. Yeah, I think it means a lot to people when somebody they admire says something nice to them. It's just nature.
It is, yeah. We like it.
I appreciate it, man. Thanks for having me, dude.
My pleasure. All right. Bye, everybody. Bye, everybody.