Comedian
Appearances
20/20
True Crime Vault: Shot in the Dark
I am getting along with my wife better than I ever have. All you have to do is agree to something that you would never do. Yeah!
20/20
True Crime Vault: Shot in the Dark
Farmer's Market? Oh, boy, would I? My buddy dies. I show up to the funeral. Open casket. You told me he was dead. I believed you.
20/20
True Crime Vault: Undercover Mother
I am getting along with my wife better than I ever have. All you have to do is agree to something that you would never do.
20/20
True Crime Vault: Undercover Mother
Farmer's Market? Oh boy, would I? My buddy dies, I show up to the funeral. Open casket. You told me he was dead. I believed you.
20/20
Wild Crime: Mask of Sanity | S4 Ep. 4
Farmer's Market? Oh boy, would I? My buddy dies. I show up to the funeral. Open casket. You told me he was dead. I believed you.
20/20
Small Town, Big Con
I am getting along with my wife better than I ever have. All you have to do is agree to something that you would never do. Farmer's Market? Oh, boy, would I! My buddy dies, I show up to the funeral, open casket. You told me he was dead. I believed you!
Someone Knows Something
Someone Knows Something Introduces | Uncover: Sea of Lies
The World Health Organization? Oh my god! Meet who? The WHO owl. Where will the next global pandemic start? Who knows?
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
I thought it was Eddie Bravo. Donald Trump is some kind of tough guy. He's not. I mean, look at him. He wears more makeup than Dolly Parton. Wines like a baby. The guy's afraid of birds. Donald Trump had his daddy pay a doctor to say his little feet hurt so he could dodge the draft. Look at that gut. Like a garbage bag full of buttermilk.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
He sells imaginary baseball cards pretending to be a cowboy fireman. Guy's barely strong enough to hold an umbrella. While he's working out.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
Big ones. Like Dolly Parton. He cheats at golf. He creeps around beauty pageant dressing rooms. You know that little dance he does?
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
He's moody. He pouts. He throws tantrums. No, get those lights off! He acts like a five-year-old behind the wheel of a truck. He bends over for Putin. This cat here on social media is a middle school bean girl. The guy needs help walking downhill. Almost there, Grandma. So this November, let's stop kidding ourselves. Donald Trump is afraid.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
Look at this. The punches. Murrow street. And being locked at.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
Mostly, he's terrified that real red-blooded American men will find out that he's a weak, tubby toddler.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
Don't you know I'm a tough guy? I won't grab you by the...
The Megyn Kelly Show
Millions Spent on Crucial Special Elections, New Columbia Tension, Trump Warns Putin: AM Update 3/31
And I am truly honored to be here, even though all of Hollywood pulled out now that King Joffrey is president and it feels like the Red Wedding in here. We gotta address the elephant that's not in the room.