Comedian
Appearances
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
I thought it was Eddie Bravo. Donald Trump is some kind of tough guy. He's not. I mean, look at him. He wears more makeup than Dolly Parton. Wines like a baby. The guy's afraid of birds. Donald Trump had his daddy pay a doctor to say his little feet hurt so he could dodge the draft. Look at that gut. Like a garbage bag full of buttermilk.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
He sells imaginary baseball cards pretending to be a cowboy fireman. Guy's barely strong enough to hold an umbrella. While he's working out.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
Big ones. Like Dolly Parton. He cheats at golf. He creeps around beauty pageant dressing rooms. You know that little dance he does?
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
He's moody. He pouts. He throws tantrums. No, get those lights off! He acts like a five-year-old behind the wheel of a truck. He bends over for Putin. This cat here on social media is a middle school bean girl. The guy needs help walking downhill. Almost there, Grandma. So this November, let's stop kidding ourselves. Donald Trump is afraid.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
Look at this. The punches. Murrow street. And being locked at.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
Mostly, he's terrified that real red-blooded American men will find out that he's a weak, tubby toddler.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
Don't you know I'm a tough guy? I won't grab you by the...