Comedian
Appearances
20/20
True Crime Vault: Undercover Mother
I am getting along with my wife better than I ever have. All you have to do is agree to something that you would never do.
20/20
True Crime Vault: Undercover Mother
Farmer's Market? Oh boy, would I? My buddy dies, I show up to the funeral. Open casket. You told me he was dead. I believed you.
20/20
Wild Crime: Mask of Sanity | S4 Ep. 4
Farmer's Market? Oh boy, would I? My buddy dies. I show up to the funeral. Open casket. You told me he was dead. I believed you.
20/20
Small Town, Big Con
I am getting along with my wife better than I ever have. All you have to do is agree to something that you would never do. Farmer's Market? Oh, boy, would I! My buddy dies, I show up to the funeral, open casket. You told me he was dead. I believed you!
Someone Knows Something
Someone Knows Something Introduces | Uncover: Sea of Lies
The World Health Organization? Oh my god! Meet who? The WHO owl. Where will the next global pandemic start? Who knows?
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
I thought it was Eddie Bravo. Donald Trump is some kind of tough guy. He's not. I mean, look at him. He wears more makeup than Dolly Parton. Wines like a baby. The guy's afraid of birds. Donald Trump had his daddy pay a doctor to say his little feet hurt so he could dodge the draft. Look at that gut. Like a garbage bag full of buttermilk.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
He sells imaginary baseball cards pretending to be a cowboy fireman. Guy's barely strong enough to hold an umbrella. While he's working out.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
Big ones. Like Dolly Parton. He cheats at golf. He creeps around beauty pageant dressing rooms. You know that little dance he does?
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
He's moody. He pouts. He throws tantrums. No, get those lights off! He acts like a five-year-old behind the wheel of a truck. He bends over for Putin. This cat here on social media is a middle school bean girl. The guy needs help walking downhill. Almost there, Grandma. So this November, let's stop kidding ourselves. Donald Trump is afraid.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
Look at this. The punches. Murrow street. And being locked at.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
Mostly, he's terrified that real red-blooded American men will find out that he's a weak, tubby toddler.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2226 - Theo Von
Don't you know I'm a tough guy? I won't grab you by the...