The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Republicans Desperately Spin Yemen Group Chat Fumble | Mayor Michelle Wu
Wed, 26 Mar 2025
Ronny Chieng tackles Republicans' desperate attempts to defend Trump administration officials accidentally adding a journalist to their Signal group chat for planning missile strikes on Yemen. Ronny Chieng and Jordan Klepper face off in a March Madness edition of Sports War, where the two debate the McNeese student manager's rise to fame, fans' upset over a lack of upsets, and the NCAA tournament's link to vasectomy season. Plus, a special Sports War halftime report from Grace Kuhlenschmidt. Boston Mayor Michelle Wu sits down with Ronny Chieng to discuss blazing a trail as Boston's first female and first Asian-American elected mayor. They talk about winning over Boston’s passionate and diverse constituency by focusing on solving their everyday challenges, valuing immigrants for a safer environment, investing in affordable housing, and why Boston remains the safest big city in America.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What are Republicans saying about the Yemen group chat incident?
Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Ronny Chieng. We got so much to talk about tonight, so let's get right into today's top story. I know you goddamn hippies like to blame Donald Trump for everything up in the country, but hey, not everything that happens is his fault. He has a whole administration that can up for him. So let's find out the latest in our new segment, The Worst Wing.
What a bunch of losers.
By now, we all know the story about how Trump's team included a reporter in their war planning group chat. And we don't need to hear it again. But it is super funny, so let's hear about it again.
Chapter 2: How did the Trump administration accidentally include a journalist in a group chat?
This morning, following from that stunning lapse in national security, Secretary of Defense Pete Hagsath, along with other top members of President Trump's national security team, sharing details about a planned large-scale attack on Yemen earlier this month on the commercial message app Signal. and inadvertently including journalist Jeffrey Goldberg on that chain.
Hegseth shared operational details of forthcoming strikes, weapons deploying, and attack sequencing.
Goldberg also reported that when it comes to security, Hegseth wrote at one point, we are currently clean on OPSEC. That's the acronym used for operational security.
You think that's funny, don't you? That the stupid Secretary of Defense is so stupid and all drunk that he texted, well, clean on OPSEC when there's a reporter right in the group chat? Yeah? Well, laugh it up, people, because unlike you, I have human empathy for these people who are just trying their best to kill other humans, all right?
And I guarantee that if anyone in this audience had their group chats leaked, it would ruin every single one of your lives. I personally have chats that are actually more sensitive than a missile attack on the Houthis, okay? If you told me that my group chats leaked and then told me it was just my missile attack one, I'd be like, oh, my God, thank God. Thank God.
And by the way, it wasn't even Pete Hegseth who added him. It was some other incompetent guy at the highest levels of government, okay? Like, what, you think Hegseth has the editor of the Atlantic magazine saved in his phone? No way, all right? If Hegseth autofilled a contact into a group chat, it would be like Tampa Bay blonde with Bugs Bunny tattoo. But still, you gotta ask, how did this happen?
I mean, don't you guys have tech support in the government? I mean, what, oh. Well, okay, well, if you ask me, adding a reporter wasn't even the most embarrassing thing to happen on this group chat.
According to Goldberg, the administration officials reacting after the strikes, excellent, a good start. Waltz even sending several emojis.
Is anyone else kind of upset that we're conducting war by emoji now? I mean, what does this even mean? What, I'm gonna fist the flag and then light it on fire? There's a reason why you don't use emojis for life and death situations. It's too open to interpretation, okay? Like imagine if your doctor texted you a crab emoji, right? And now you're going, oh my God, I have crabs?
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Chapter 3: What are the reactions to the Yemen group chat leak?
Is that sufficient accountability to you to recognize that someone made a mistake and moving on? Because I don't see that same standard being held when other people have made it.
Boris, I gave you the soundbite already. I gave you the soundbite already.
Boris, I gave you the sound bites. Stop asking follow-up questions. If I wanted to talk to a journalist, I'd be on a private group chat with Pete Hegseth. Okay, cut it out. Like, come on, what, we're just calling this a mistake now? Like, look, my door dasher for getting straws is a mistake that can be rectified with one star and no tip, okay?
But this feels like a major up, and they're acting like nobody will care about this. And honestly, they're probably right. I mean, nothing seems to matter anymore anyway, and everyone will forget this in a few days when Trump sends the new Snow White to Gitmo.
And even if they didn't accidentally add a journalist into this group chat, they weren't supposed to be talking about this stuff on Signal in the first place, okay? Signal might be a good app for you and me and our local drug dealer, but it's not for the Pentagon to plan wars on.
One former White House official told Politico their personal phones are all hackable, and it's highly likely that foreign intelligence services are sitting on their phones watching them type the shit out.
That's right, foreign adversaries could be watching whatever Pete Hegseth types into his phone, like, bar near me, or how to fool breathalyzer, or how to un-crash car. But if you're not satisfied with, it was just a mistake, they have another defense. It was just a mistake that was awesome.
The bigger takeaway for me is it's an insight, a transparent insight into the thought process and dialogue of our national leaders. If you read the content of these messages, I think you'll come away proud that these are the leaders making these decisions in America.
What you did see, though, I think, was top-level officials doing their job, doing it well, and executing on a plan with precision.
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Chapter 4: How is March Madness linked to vasectomy season?
I watched your Marvel movie. What was it called? Right. Nobody remembers. Oh, really? Well, how many Marvel movies were you in? I'm more of a theater guy. Thank you very much. Ibsen or something like that. Anyway, let's start things off with March Madness, the time of year when people yell Gonzaga, and not just during orgasm. But this year, the Ides of March didn't bring much of the madness.
It's actually been an oddly tame start to March Madness.
We didn't get those typical upsets that we're used to. The top four seeds in each region, a combined 16-0 in the first round for the first time since 2017.
Of the first 32 games in the first round, 20 were won by double digits.
Wow, just like Jordan over here, this year's tournament sucks!
Okay, we get it. Sucks!
Where's the drama? Where's the crazy upsets? The only reason I watch these games is to see Duke fans crying to their ascots. Where are my Cinderella stories at? Usually there's at least one fairy tale underdog with a starting lineup of guys that all have heart conditions and whose team is just integrated for the first time.
Ronnie... I can't tell which is more busted, your bracket or your face. Look, this has been an incredible tournament. I only want to watch major colleges, not some team like Mount Sinai Bum getting shellacked by a top dog in the Sweet 16. Honestly, this is the most excited I've been for a Sweet 16 since Ronnie's quinceañera.
Okay, quinceañera is at 15, pendejo. Also, mi quinceañera muy excelente.
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Chapter 5: Who is Amir Khan and why is he going viral during March Madness?
Chapter 6: What is the significance of no upsets in this year's March Madness?
I love this kid. Ora Khan deserves these endorsement deals because he's done the impossible. He put McNeese on the map. Before Khan, I thought McNeese was the name of the third Culkin brother. Now, now I know it's the best school in the state of... I want to say McNeese. I don't know.
Jordan, did your brain tear its ACL? Okay, we shouldn't be giving an equipment manager endorsement deals. It's against the natural order of things. The jocks get the endorsement deals and the glory and the girls and the nerds get to get beat up by the jocks, then start social media companies that warp the brains of the jocks to eventually vote against their own interests.
Which brings us to my bracket buster, Better Than Knife. Which random nerd will get an endorsement deal next? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. As Thomas Jefferson once said, it ain't gay if it's a parlay. Now it's time for our Sports War Halftime Report with Grace Kuhlensmith.
Thanks, Ronnie. So far, it's been a pretty underwhelming performance by both hosts. There is one major upset to report. I'm very upset I had to witness this. But now I'd like to give everyone an update on the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament. Thanks, Grace.
I'm about to blow my brain down over there.
Yeah, I want to go right to the line again.
Anyway. Moving on. From the balls on the court to balls off the court. Away from the basketball arenas, a different kind of March Madness is underway.
Every year around this time, doctors see a surge in men scheduling vasectomies. Men figure if they're going to be laid up on the couch for a couple of days, it might as well be at a time when there's something to watch on TV, like 48 basketball games in four days. Urologists are catching on, even offering deals with slogans like, it's hip to get snipped. Others offer basketball-shaped ice packs.
Bravo, bravo. I love dudes. This is exactly what vasectomies are all about. Watching sports alone with a bag of frozen peas on your junk. I mean, me, I'm on my 11th vasectomy this year. Is that why you missed my wedding? No, I missed it because I don't like seeing you happy.
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