Stacy’s dog fashion show is the set for the Real Housewives of Potomac season finale, and the dog poop is a flyin. Will she be able to get her point across to Karen before Karen barfs all of her lunch up? Let’s find out! To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com You can still buy tickets to Stream the 2025 Golden Crappies for the next two weeks at our site. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
You're listening to DraftKings Network. Wow. What's up? I just bought and financed a car through Carvana in minutes. You? The person who agonized four weeks over whether to paint your walls eggshell or off-white bought and financed a car in minutes. They made it easy. Transparent terms, customizable down and monthly. Didn't even have to do any paperwork.
Wow.
Mm-hmm. Hey, have you checked out that spreadsheet I sent you for our dinner options?
Finance your car with Carvana and experience total control. Financing subject to credit approval.
You know that sound. It's the sound of money hitting your Venmo account. A friend paying you back. Or maybe it's getting cash back from your favorite business when you pay with the Venmo debit card. Or it's realizing you can pay with Venmo at checkout at thousands of brands. Now, there are so many more ways to answer the question, what's your Venmo? Download Venmo today.
The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. Pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated. Dosh cash back terms apply. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
Stugatz is on his way out of here. He's trying to decide, and Mike Ryan was curiously interested in this in a way that surprised me. He's trying to decide whether to take the 90-minute flight to New Orleans or just drive up right after the show, just drive 11 hours and get there by...
By midnight, I was stunned to hear Mike Ryan be interested in this, although I do understand adding at least a couple of hours to your trip if you don't want to deal just with the airport. Getting to the airport, bothering with people at the airport, this is adding 10 hours to my trip.
I think there's just a lot in the news as to why you'd want to avoid airports and airplanes. I get it. I've gotten way more scared of air travel over the last couple of years.
You want to make the drive, or what do you think? Me and you? Or a road trip? You would never do that. I would do it. He's considering it. No, I know Mike might.
No, Stugatz was considering just driving up after the flight. He doesn't mind wasting a little money. I mean, he does that every day. He'd go home. He'll just keep driving. Never stop. He'll just miss the exit past his house. Halfway point. Yes. We are going to get to Felipe Esparza in a second, but not before we bring in Amin Alhassan, our regular NBA insider.
You can check him out in a renewed and refurbished oddball with Izzy Gutierrez. What are you making faces about? What's the matter? Who's Felipe Esparza? He's a comedian. He's got three Netflix specials. What's the matter? Okay.
I honestly thought it was a baseball player. I was like, what baseball player? Did something happen in baseball where they got this guy coming on? I thought maybe, I don't know, maybe New Marlin or something.
All right, so put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Felipe Esparza, new Marlon or a new comedian?
You know what, now we have to ask him if he knows who Amin Alhassan is.
Yeah, okay, we will do that in a second. Amin, what were your thoughts from all you've read and consumed? This is a lot of consensus here. Give me some answers to some questions. Incompetence by the Mavericks? Why would you not go to all the teams and see what you could get?
Well, first, I'd like to start off by calling you an absolute fraud because there's no way you go to the bathroom for number two and you're not on your phone. What are you doing? You're just alone with your thoughts during that time?
Thank you. You're lying.
A newspaper, maybe. If you told me, oh, wait, I still pick up the paper. No, there are books in the bathroom. There are physical books. Okay. Okay. I stand corrected. You're rereading these books? Have you finished them? Do they get new books? I'm in the middle of like seven different books.
What do you do with them when they're done? Because you can't donate bathroom books. You need one book you've read on the toilet. Sometimes I could take that out of there. Sometimes I can't.
If you're reading seven books, Dan, you're not reading one.
Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Can we spell it Booth?
I mean, go ahead, please. OK, so, you know, obviously I got notified of this and my buddy who let me know said this is the biggest trade in NBA history. And I wanted to fight back and say, no, no, that's not true. We're just being prisoners of the moment. I thought about it like.
This is the biggest trade in NBA history because we've never had two superstar players in their primes, and Anthony Davis, yes, is still in his prime, getting traded for one another midseason like that, let alone completely caught off guard for the entirety of the league. I want to thank...
Rob Palenka and Nico Harrison for showing everybody that you don't have to whisper, hey, I think we're about to do this deal. You should go out and tweet and see what the public thinks. No. Do your business behind closed doors. All these leaks that we've accepted as this is just how things are nowadays in the internet age. Nope. There are still people who can keep secrets.
And by the way, you know who one of those people are? Danny Ainge. Because he was the third person in this deal. Danny Ainge made this happen by being that... kind of stowaway zone where Jalen Hood Schifino ends up.
You say this, but still an act of either negligence or incompetence not to go to every team in the league to get the valuable asset that you have a maximum value, no?
I think this is the part where it gets complicated. It gets tricky. Because when you have a 25-year-old face of the franchise, maybe perhaps one of the faces of the league, cornerstone superstar player, It's not like dangling, you know, Duncan Robinson in a deal, where it's like, oh, my name's in the rumors. Like, ah, you'll be fine. It doesn't work like that.
That is, you only get one shot of trading a guy like that.
I mean, I was theorizing that if you're going to blindside him by taking $100 million away, you do not want anyone knowing that.
Because also, if, let's say the Lakers had said no, or if they had gotten to a place where the deal wasn't going to get made, You want to be able to walk back into that workplace and not be super freaking awkward because you tried to trade the face of the franchise. The need for secrecy means you cannot go around talking to a bunch of people.
And when you think about it in that regard, I understand. Apparently they talked to two teams. One of them was the Lakers. We don't know what the other team is. My theory is it's Milwaukee and it's Giannis Antetokounmpo. That's, as I look through the caliber of players where this deal would work for Dallas.
listening to what Nico Harris is saying he prioritized in coming back in this deal, and then a superstar that you had to have believed might be available.
How many teams say no to Luka? To their best player for Luka, give me the number of teams.
Denver with Jokic, San Antonio with Wemenyama, Milwaukee with Giannis. Look, I think Golden State probably says no with Steph, even though we'll say, well, Steph is 35 and this kid is 25 and that's 10 more years. I don't think you can... crater your franchise in that way. And then there's another level of this, Dan, where it's like, I'll say no because I don't think Luka will stay.
And I think Milwaukee is one of those places. Milwaukee knows that Giannis doesn't have a problem with the market. He doesn't have a problem with the weather. He doesn't have a problem with the lack of endorsements. Giannis' big issue in Milwaukee, if he has one, is when are we going to win another championship?
And so to have that and know all of those things is way more important than the unknown of maybe Luka will like it, maybe he won't. And so I think that there's a little bit of that at play as well. LeBron knows nothing. LeBron is at dinner and learns at dinner. Yeah. So like that, this is where it gets really complicated. He learned it at dinner. I don't believe LeBron learned from the Internet.
I just don't believe that if the deal is done and the deal was done in the middle of the game, as I was told, they consummated that deal. Pretty much they agreed to the final terms in the middle of that game. Rich Paul had known for 48 hours at that point once it's a done deal. I think Rich tells LeBron. Maybe LeBron found out during dinner from Rich.
You think Rich is keeping that from LeBron for 48 hours as part of his agent duties?
I do, and I think, Dan, for you, you have a very bad habit. I've got to call you out on this. You lump Rich, LeBron, and Maverick together all the time. They are separate people. They're involved in separate business ventures. Sometimes they collaborate. Sometimes they don't. So in making a point about Rich Paul and LeBron, you said, and they're looking for $5 billion to invest in a rival.
No, that's Maverick's thing. That's not Rich's thing, and that's not LeBron's thing. But these are lifelong... But wait a minute. I mean... Dan, Dan, should I associate...
No, fair enough. No, no, no. Fair enough. Fair enough. But these are life. These are lifelong friends. And these are business associates who have trafficked over lifelong friendships. And their allegiances are going to be to each other over Anthony Davis or the billion dollar investors.
I think Rich Paul is a professional. He takes his job very seriously. And as such, I think he does look out for his client, Anthony Davis, over his friend LeBron James in that instance. Especially because the other part of this is not like they traded Anthony Davis for, again, something else. Let me stop picking on him, but like Duncan Robinson and Haywood Highsmith, right?
Like they traded him for a superstar player.
I mean, would you not agree that LeBron James and Rich Paul are the greatest of friends? Yes, they're great friends, yes.
Okay, so you're telling me that Rich Paul is so honorable that he's going to make sure to take care of the same client he pulled out of New Orleans in order to get LeBron a Fountain of Youth in Los Angeles, that his loyalty is going to be to his job and his client and not to one of his best friends? who is also affected, whose entire economy is affected by this.
He's the reason he has those clients, though.
Hold on, hold on. Do you think that LeBron benefited more from Anthony Davis than Anthony Davis benefited from getting traded to the Lakers to play with LeBron? Is that what you're implying?
It worked out for both of them, but Anthony Davis was brought to be the guy who helped LeBron age.
Dan, you're not answering my question. I'm asking you, do you think LeBron James benefited more in his life, his career, his legacy from the addition of Anthony Davis than vice versa, than Anthony Davis benefited from getting to leave New Orleans to go be a Laker and play with LeBron James? I do not. Okay, so it wasn't about helping LeBron. Sure, LeBron got helped.
Sure, LeBron's interests were served. But it was about helping Anthony Davis. Rich Paul was servicing his client, Anthony Davis, in that regard, getting him out of a situation for a franchise that wasn't winning, from a small market, to play with a superstar... who was going to help elevate Anthony Davis. And as we look at it now, Anthony Davis is a top 75 player.
Does that happen if he doesn't go to the Lakers? Because LeBron's still top 75. LeBron's still considered one of the greatest. We're still having LeBron versus Jordan arguments if Anthony Davis never goes to the Lakers. But is the opposite true? Does Anthony Davis get to be a top 75 player if he doesn't leave New Orleans?
Is that rhetorical? I agree with whatever you say. I wanted to ask you your thoughts on, I saw a clip from Basketball Illuminati that was referencing, I think, a Ben Goliver Trojan horse theory about Kyrie Irving going to the Mavericks to blow them up so that Luka could be so unhappy that he would end up back on the Lakers. And I want to hear what your thoughts are on that.
So on Basketball Illuminati, Ben Goliver just talked about Kyrie Irving being a Trojan horse. We're the ones that elevated to, and that's how Luka gets to be a Laker. And that episode dropped on February 23rd of 2023, I want to say. It was right after the All-Star game. And our whole theory about it was LeBron, me and George Sedano came up with this years ago on LA Radio.
When LeBron first became a Laker... We warned the audience, the Los Angeles audience, hey, this guy doesn't leave breadcrumbs. He leaves whole loaves of bread. And so Tom and I and Anthony Mays, we went back and we looked at like the all-star drafts because LeBron leaves whole loaves of bread. Who does he draft high in these all-star drafts? It tells you who he likes, who he really wants.
He took Anthony Davis number one overall in 2020 when Anthony Davis was a Pelican. There you go. That's a flag up. Now, Andy Davis is his teammate. He takes him number one in each one of these drafts. But the next pick he takes is Luka Doncic. And so we made that connection there. We read the tea leaves. We connected the dots. We kept our third eye open.
And so two years ago, we predicted that Luka Doncic would be a Dallas.
That should be a victory lap. That is sports radio, my man. I think you should be victory lapping right now while you're on your couch. I do believe we are underestimating Anthony Davis, though. Yes, he benefits from being LeBron's No. 2, but he's forever considered a No. 2 because we never got to see him as the No. 1 after New Orleans. And I don't know that that's what we're going to see now.
I think you yourself are devaluing how good Anthony Davis is.
I am not. So Bomani said it best. we need to stop pretending like Anthony Davis is Dale Davis, which is a great call, great pull by Bomani. He's right. This is an elite defensive player, all defensive team perennial, who is also an elite offensive player.
There are not too many players in the league that we can say with certainty this guy is both all NBA and all defensive team every year, barring injury or something like that. I'm just telling you, With regards to who helped who, LeBron helped Anthony Davis way more in terms of his legacy and how he's looked at than vice versa.
What's the most interesting thing about all of this to you?
All of it. There's something the Mavericks know about Luka that they're not telling us. There is something there that we don't, and I'm not saying it's like, oh, it's medical or it's physical. It might just be they felt strongly that he's not going to stay. And this isn't the first time we've had this. It's going to sound like a ridiculous comparison given what happened afterward.
But once upon a time, Dan, Darren Williams was looked at as him and Chris Paul, who was the best point guard in the league. He was a franchise player. And the Jazz in the middle of the night, traded him to Brooklyn. We didn't even know he was available. And he had like a year and a half or two years left on his deal.
So it wasn't even one of those, he's going to read a feed and we got to get something for him. And at the time the Utah jazz said, look, We are not confident that this guy is going to stay. And if he's not going to stay, we don't want to wait until we lose the leverage. We want to go out there and do the deal that we want to do ahead of time. And so they moved them.
This is like that times a million. And so for me, I'm thinking about that part of it. There's that part of it. Is it a Darren Williams thing where it's like, we got to get out ahead of this? Or is this a... And this is an extreme example, again, Zion Williamson thing, right? Think about Zion Williamson after like his second year.
if the pelicans were like he's great he's awesome he's this is an elite talent but i don't know i think we're going to be stuck in this cycle of him never getting in shape and and then you know playing and getting in shape and then playing great and then getting hurt again and then he's out of shape and we have to pay him all of this money and our franchise is stagnant because it all hinges on whether this guy is ever going to take that part of it seriously
if the the pelicans had made the decision in year two we would have killed them for trading him now we look at it and we look at the crater that is new orleans And we're like, yeah, kind of in retrospect, hitching your sails to this guy may have hamstrung you from building something complete. And I look at Dallas and I'm saying maybe that's part of the equation as well.
But either way, there's something there that we're not getting when we just say, oh, my God, I can't believe it was just Anthony Davis in one pick.
I mean, do you think the deal gets done if the Mavs demand Bronny?
No deal. No, that's when Rich Paul picks up the phone and calls LeBron. He doesn't call Bronny, by the way. He calls LeBron. I'm going to call his father. See you later, man. Good talking to you. All right. Kanye tweeted about it, by the way. That's how big a deal this was. You guys realize that?
Kanye was in the middle of a rant, and then midway through, he's like, I don't watch sports, but apparently Luka just got traded. That's to tell you that this deal was so big, it cut through the sphere of ignorance. That surrounds Kanye West. And I mean that term in every way.
So we can all agree Kanye should be the bellwether for all of these things and the nation's attention. Thank you. I mean, that is the ultimate arbiter. The ultimate arbiter.
Yes. His ignorance was pierced by this deal. Look, Miles Garrett ain't moving that needle like that.
I had a different Kanye algorithm last night. This is a message from sponsor Intuit TurboTax. Taxes was waiting and wondering and worrying if you were going to get any money back and then waiting, wondering and worrying some more. Now, taxes is matching with a TurboTax expert who can do your taxes as soon as today.
An expert who gives your taxes their undivided attention as they work on your return while you get real-time updates on their progress so you can focus on your day. An expert who will find you every deduction possible and file every form, every investment, every everything with 100% accuracy. All so you can get the most money back guaranteed. No waiting, no wondering, no worries.
Now this is taxes. Get an expert now on TurboTax.com. Only available with TurboTax Live Full Service. Real-time updates only in iOS mobile app. See guarantee details at TurboTax.com slash guarantees.
Friends, it's JerBear, and you know that I'm obviously a bit of the romantic type, and Valentine's Day is coming up. And for me, there's only one place that I trust, 1-800-Flowers.com. Every year, I order stunning, high-quality bouquets from 1-800-Flowers that my wife absolutely loves.
And this year, I'm partnering with 1-800-Flowers to make sure you're a Valentine's hero with an exclusive offer for my listeners. Double the roses for free. When you buy one dozen, they'll double your bouquet to two dozen roses. It's the perfect way to say I love you without breaking the bank. Trust me, 1-800-Flowers always delivers.
In the Levitard Studios, we received a beautiful arrangement of long stem red roses accompanied in an hourglass red vase. They're timeless, luxurious, and romantic. A must-have this Valentine's Day. And seeing and smelling the freshness of that bouquet as I walk into work every day has me prepared for any hate that Dan may throw my way.
To claim your Double Your Roses offer, go to 1-800-Flowers.com slash Dan. That's 1-800-Flowers.com.
What is... Dax, are you... Tracking all our cars on Carvana Value Tracker? On all our devices? Yes, Kristen, yes I am. Well, I've been looking for my phone for... In Dax's domain, we see all. So we always know what our cars are worth. All of them? All of them. Value surge! Truck's up 3.9%! That's a great offer. I know. Sell? Sell. Track your car's value with Carvana Value Tracker today.
Don Levitard.
While I was gone, a third Zagaki was born, and I think I heard, correct me if I'm wrong here, Jeremy trying to partake in a fourth Zagaki, and I am here for a future where I am surrounded by a chorus of clucking Zagakis. Stugatz.
You know what it means when you have four Zagakis, Dan? You don't have one. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.
Amin El-Hassan was really disrespectful, but also a little bit right when he says, I don't know who Felipe Esparza is, but he sounds like a shortstop. He sounds like a baseball player. That does sound more like a baseball player than a comedian, but he is selling out tour dates across the country. It's currently the At My Leisure Tour.
He has one of the top comedy podcasts here for about a decade, What's Up Fool, and he's got three specials uh, that are streaming on Netflix and Max, and he's got another one coming out on Netflix, raging fool that, uh, streams globally here next month or next week, actually. So Philippe, thank you for joining us. He's also a giant sports fan.
So just you, you wake up this morning, uh, or you wake up yesterday morning to the news or at night, you hear that Luka Doncic is a member of your Lakers and your thoughts were, are, were what, and thank you for joining us by the way. My thoughts were, who is Luka Doc? Okay.
Yep.
Very good. So you're not that big of a sports fan then.
I'm not big of a – I like the Lakers, but I'm one of those people, man, that like I still root for the Clippers, you know, because they got to root for your stepson, you know. But I love the Lakers, man, and I don't really know who that person is, man. I'm sorry.
Oh, that's okay. I got bad information. He's on your team now. He's on the Lakers. Do you know who Amin El-Hassan is? Well, if you don't know who Luka Doncic is, there's no way. Luka, did he come illegally from Ukraine?
no that's that's not exactly becoming a sports visa to stay in this country are you a dodger fan are you not i'm a dodger fan bro i threw out the first pitch i used to sell popcorns there um i insulted reggie jackson one time in um oakland california by mistake because i was too nervous to meet the greatest player of all time he goes i shook his hand and when he squeezed it
The first thing out of my mouth to Reggie Jackson was, when I was a little kid, my father and I, we saw Bob Walsh strike you out in the World Series.
How old were you?
Bro, I was 30, bro.
Bob Walsh.
I was 30 when I saw him, when I told him that. But I was a kid when I saw that.
Stugatz, I don't think it was Bob Walk. I think it was Bob Welch, I think he said. Bob Welch, yeah.
Okay, I heard it as Walk. I'm sorry. Bob Walk, great picture for the Pirates, though.
Thank you. I thought that that would be your wheelhouse for sure. Didn't you work at Dodger Stadium? Yes, I used to make hot dogs and popcorn, and I used to sell souvenirs around the stands. Your story's kind of crazy, right? I mean, you talk about all this stuff in your special. You don't keep very much out of it. Your journey, was it funny while it was happening?
Because some of the stuff feels like it wasn't that funny.
A lot of the stuff was really sad and funny.
heartbreaking but um i didn't have a therapist or my mom would just say get over it so stand-up comedy was like the only therapy where i could just release it and let it go well what are we talking about there though because for the people who don't know your story we're talking about deportation how many times uh just just start there on how how you got to this country oh man the first time um we thought we just we just
We got in this masked car, and I don't know who that was, my mother and I and my two other brothers. And we already passed the – we already passed gold, bro. We passed the border. We were waiting for $200, like Monopoly. But then we – halfway down, like by San Clemente, California, there was like –
a border checkpoint that the sheriffs of um sacramento had they were like many men i guess but they were stopping the freeway and they were randomly stopping people we're already in america we're already in but then they caught us and they took the our driver i don't know who that was probably like a a mexican uber driver wild e coyote and um they let him go because he was american and they took us to a detention center
My mom was separated from us, and then we just ate sandwiches and watched Bugs Bunny cartoons. And the next day, we walked to the gate, and we were back in Mexico. But the third time, the third time, my aunt, she dressed up my little brother like a little girl, and he was potty now. And we borrowed my cousin. We used my cousin's passport, and we got to America.
Yeah, some people come out of the closet. My brother came out of the country.
These stories obviously are not being told by many people on the stand-up comedy tour. How unlikely is your story, the idea that you have comedy specials? Does that even register with you, the idea of being able to make this kind of career with your freedom when you're remembering the time you're in America, you're close to your dreams, and your dreams probably didn't look exactly like this?
Yes, and I didn't know this. When we crossed the border and all that, my parents didn't tell us. They were not like a coach. They were not prepping us. They were like, all right, you're going to be a girl. You're going to be this guy. So we didn't know. We were innocent little kids, and my mom would just tell us, after school, don't talk to nobody. Just run home.
I wonder, you can laugh at some of this stuff, but you see where we are in the country right now at a Raptors game. And the Canadian people are supposed to be polite. They're booing the national anthem. The things that America is doing is landing poorly. And they are making stories like yours and people like you, the other.
You do what with that politically as you live in the middle of it, but are grateful for what this country provides or has provided.
Yes, and I just became a U.S. citizen three months ago. Congratulations. Yes, it is funny because my parents, they became U.S. citizens before me. It just took me a while. And I feel great, man. I feel like, I joke about it now, but I feel like now I can commit crimes without the fear of deportation. Congratulations. That was really holding me back from being an arch criminal, papi.
You do your specials in Spanish and English. What language are you funnier in? You know what?
I think I'm funnier in Spanish because I think in Spanish, but I speak in English. So when I went to Mexico to try out the Spanish, it was different from America, man. I realized that 3% of the words that I was saying here in America that are Spanish are not Spanish words. They're like stuff that immigrants have made up, man, over the years. It's like pochoir, but in Spanish, you know?
Is it Spanglish? Like, what are you talking about? Like, sandwiching? Bro, it's like, I don't know how to say the word breaks. Growing up, like, fix my breaks. So we would just add a little, like, white people, when they don't know a Spanish word, they add an O at the end, you know? Like, your son has not done his homework, okay? Okay.
you know so that's fair you know they're trying you know they're trying to blend in right but uh mexicans some latinos in the west coast we had a a s after every word or a e s in front of our ass like give me a sprite you know or fix my breakfast okay so at breaks well like what's break what does break become or was it breakfast that you were talking about you said breaks right breaks ended up being an as so fix my breakfast and when i said in mexico
Show those silence, bro. Like, they treated me like I have blue eyes and blonde hair over there.
When you have a special coming out, what is the feeling? Because, again, Raging Fool comes out February 11th. Is it nervous, excitement, relief? You've been working on this material for a long time, yes?
I'm nervous because once it airs, I can't do those jokes no more because people are going to say, oh, man, he's doing the same joke on the special. So I got to hurry up and start writing new jokes. You got to hurry up. That's the hard part. Yeah. I can't be going out there. It's not like when you're a singer, man, and people want to hear Doja Cat. They want to hear her hit.
They want to hear it over and over. They want to hear it, you know. But I can't do that. I got to go out there and. do some crowd work and come up with new material. Like, I have a bit where I say that I'm getting older, you know. I went to a doctor for a health checkup. He said, I'm going to need a blood sample, a urine sample, a semen sample, and a stool sample. I'm like, doctor, you're lucky.
I got all that in my underwear right now.
Oh, no.
Wait a minute.
You're a dentist, you pervert.
You can't say that again. Yeah, that's it.
It's over. It's a funny way to describe your special, the idea that it's over and then you have to start all over at the bottom of the mountain. So basically on February 11th, it's not a day of delight and celebration that your special comes out. It's the warning that you have to get back to work. Hurry up. You've got a blank slate, you idiot.
Yeah, I do, man. I don't want to go up there. Because I remember when my first special came out, I didn't know that you had to go write new material. I thought you could be like Rodney Dangerfield or just do the same material over and over. Hey, no respect. But there was people who knew, who loved my stand-up, who were in the front. And every time I talked, they were lip-syncing what I was saying.
So they were talking with me. It was like a sing-along.
Yeah, that's when you know the stuff, it's time to redo it. But when you're driving over the border, what are you dreaming of doing in this country? How unusual is a career in comedy from where you were?
Oh, man, almost impossible. Like, my father was an immigrant. He worked, like, 60 hours a week. My mom worked cleaning houses, and we were always home alone. And when I told my father, my father found out that I was doing stand-up comedy and not having a job and not going to community college, he was very upset, man, because he didn't – he was more upset because I think a lot of parents –
When their kids have a wild dream or a wild career, they're seeing themselves in that position. Like when I told my dad that I was a stand-up comedian, he put himself as a stand-up comedian, and he got scared for me. Like, no, don't do that. Keep your job at UPS. One day you'll be a driver.
Yeah, that makes sense. It's safer, isn't it?
Yeah, because it's already, what could Brown do for you?
Roy Wood Jr. is a friend of the show. He recently told a story on another podcast about how you taught him about kindness and friendship after you beat him on Last Comic Standing. And he said he and the other comics weren't nice to you. And that for a while, the only person that would talk to you on tour after that was the bus driver. What do you remember about all of that?
Oh, man, those guys were all bitter because they lost to a Mexican. And I ended up winning $250,000. But I should have told them, you know, on the bus, you know, if I would have been talking to them, hey, bro, I didn't really win $250,000. They got me for child support the next day. My baby mama ended up winning. She became the last baby mama standing.
But you were nice to them, though.
None of this came out. I'm nice to everybody, man. Everywhere I went. People were giving me stuff. There were people wearing my, it was hard for them because I guess they've been on TV before and they had TV credits, I guess. They're known in the East Coast. But me, I'm known in the West Coast. I've been doing stand-up longer than them, but they never heard of me.
But I was building like an underground following. And I had a lot of jokes. And my jokes were short. I had no story. They were like, boom, boom, boom, punchline. Like, I had a joke where I said, I met a woman last night. She said, I'll sleep over at your house, but we can't have any sex. I said, all right, tomorrow morning we'll have breakfast. You can't eat no food. Boom, you know?
And I said that, well, the police pulled me over. They asked me, do you have anything inside illegal? I looked at my cousin. I ran. Boom. You know, I had a bunch of butt slides, bro. I was like a Muhammad Ali, bro, ropey rope with jokes. I love the boom like you're boxing. My father was a boxer. My grandfather, they were boxers, bro. They used to box tomatoes, grapes, oranges in California. Yeah.
I apologize. It took me this long to realize this. But, Felipe, you and Dan look exactly alike. Felipe, I'm sorry. You and Dan look exactly alike. I mean, you do.
Well, there is a picture of me from the pandemic. Yes, very Cuban. Look at it, bro. We both look like Salma Hayek. I will tell the people again that Philippe is on his nationwide tour. What do you want people to know, Philippe, about what it is that you're doing? Is it Raging Fool that you want them to check out? Are you prouder of At My Leisure?
What do you view as your career achievement of the moment?
Oh, man, go watch Raging Fool on Netflix. Watch it a bunch of times. Cut up the clips. Put them up on TikTok if you want. You know, bootleg it. Do whatever you want with it. It's all for you, man.
That's very generous of you. Thank you. Spread the love. Yes, we will spread the Mexican love. Thank you, sir. We appreciate your time on the show. Thank you for taking it.
Thank you for having me, man. Let's go Dodgers. Also, I'm a big Raiders fan, even though we're over a decade.
Yeah, I asked you about the Lakers instead. Go ahead. I'm sorry. Do you know who Pete Carroll is?
Oh, yeah, man. We could have the Pete Carroll, 10th Pete Carroll. We still have the same team, though. Yeah, that's part of the problem. We are over a decade, bro. You got to understand, bro, you got to be a team that shows up and ready to play every Sunday. The fans are more prepared. Look at the way they're dressed. They're cross-dressing. They're wearing black and silver.
I mean, we're the only fans that have a wave with a boo in it.
Ah, boo. Yeah, that's 22 years without a playoff victory, but your Dodgers are cheating.
Yeah, man. The Dodgers, man, we're the best. People say we're cheating, but we're just L.A., bro. We're the best.
Okay, but you're cheating. It's not fair that you get to buy all the players, and just because you get to hold up your fingers L.A. is the best, you're still cheating. It's not right what you're doing to baseball. You're moving.
Bro, you know, like back in the day, the Yankees had all the money and they won all the World Series. And I'm just sad because I remember when the Braves had the best five players in the league and they never won a game because they couldn't afford to get hitters.
Yeah, that is part of the problem. But you have all of them. And you have the one that pitches and hits. You have the one that does both of those things. Thank you, Philippe. Good talking to you.
The Angels didn't want to pay them the money, bro. They didn't want to get rid of Trout. Yeah, $2 million. They want to keep Orange County all wide. They don't want a Chinito in the team.
Deferred payments, $2 million for Otani. Get out of here. Goodbye. Shout out to my boy from the California Angels, Joe Adele. That's my man. Okay, but they weren't the California Angels. They were California Angels 10 years ago.
They're going to go back, bro. The owner is Mexican. He's going to change the team. The owner, he's the first Mexican, bro, to have white people out in the fields.
All right, get out of here. Goodbye. Good talking to you. See you later.
Friends, it's JerBear, and you know that I'm obviously a bit of the romantic type, and Valentine's Day is coming up. And for me, there's only one place that I trust, 1-800-Flowers.com. Every year, I order stunning, high-quality bouquets from 1-800-Flowers that my wife absolutely loves.
And this year, I'm partnering with 1-800-Flowers to make sure you're a Valentine's hero with an exclusive offer for my listeners. Double the roses for free. When you buy one dozen, they'll double your bouquet to two dozen roses. It's the perfect way to say I love you without breaking the bank. Trust me, 1-800-Flowers always delivers.
In the Levitard Studios, we received a beautiful arrangement of long stem red roses accompanied in an hourglass red vase. They're timeless, luxurious, and romantic. A must-have this Valentine's Day. And seeing and smelling the freshness of that bouquet as I walk into work every day has me prepared for any hate that Dan may throw my way.
To claim your Double Your Roses offer, go to 1-800-Flowers.com slash Dan. That's 1-800-Flowers.com.
Hey, folks, it's Mike Ryan. It is Big Game Week, and I've got just the thing to make your big game time a Miller time. From fireside conversations to football Sundays, winter means more moments with the coolest people in your life. Make these moments even better with Miller Lite, the great-tasting light beer for people who love beer. A new year is a perfect time for friends and family.
family and great tasting light beer. Tastes like Miller time. Miller Lite is brewed for taste. It hits different than other light beers and when you're hosting your ultimate game day party, why don't you bring out a beautiful silver platter of that amazing white can and know you will make everybody there happy because Miller Lite is the original light beer since 1975 and still the very best one.
Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tastes like Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.