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Chapter 1: How can parents stop enabling their adult children financially?
I feel it. I think so, too. And I think we might be starting out hot if the board is correct. Darlene is on the line with a question in Chicago. Darlene, how can we help?
I'm wondering if you can help me figure out how to. get rid of a disease that my children have that's called brain and butt syndrome. My husband and I are retiring and we are paying down debt. And we're within 180 days of retiring and walking away from 50 years in education. And our 25-year-old, 28-year-old, 31-year-old, 36-year-old think that we are called the bank.
And I am tired of them wanting to know if They can gladly pay me Tuesday for a hamburger today. I'm done. And I want to divorce them. How do I divorce them? Wow.
Well, are you the bank, Darlene? Have you been saying yes when they've been asking for this stuff?
No, I am a poor little person with a bachelor's degree who's worked my hiney off for 45 years with my husband to acquire a property. And we have our goals in place. We have a retirement date. We have an IMRF pension date. We have a Social Security date. And a few of the children who seem to have the problem called...
Weed Man and Gambling Synonymous think that they can just keep taking money from us when I'm trying to stock it away and pay down things.
So, Darlene, I love you, by the way. You are a gift to a talk show host, and I want to point that out. But Rachel asked you a very important question that plays into our advice, and You listed the 25, 28, 31, and 36-year-old. Then there was Mr. Weed Man, and we've got a lot of things going on here.
Are all four kids, who are adults, by the way, are they routinely asking you for money, and are you giving them money, yes or no?
They ask for money so regular that I have the ringtone that comes through. It's basically... Okay. Doing the sound of money. Okay. Are you giving it to them? Thank you. The last few weeks, I've told them, no, I'm broke. I'm so flat broke, I can't even pay attention.
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Chapter 2: What steps can I take after identity theft wipes out my credit history?
Our grandchild is in the situation where if DCFS walked in and saw the slum, the filth that she lives in, because she actually went to court before with her mom and her aunt and told her mom at three and a half that the cops should go arrest the mom.
I changed my opinion because if that's what you have to do to protect the child from going into government, I get that. So you know what? That's an extreme situation. But this is it. This is it. You're going to take care of this grandchild because you have to. No one else can or will. And then it cut everybody else off.
Yeah. And Darlene, and you know what? And give yourself grace because I'm sure there's a level of a self-critic in there of like, what did we do as parents that, you know, ended up in this? But so give yourself grace in it. But you guys, from a financial standpoint, like you said, you have to draw that strong boundary. And. I can't wait to hear Darlene's saying.
And Darlene, keep your sense of humor. I think you've got a great sense of humor. It sounds like you and your hubs are going to be okay in retirement, but now it's about you two and whatever responsibilities towards that little one. And keep your chin up. Hold the line. Don't give in. Keep those quips coming. And just press through this thing. I'm so sorry for you, but you've got this.
statistics show that half of americans don't have enough life insurance or they don't have any at all i don't understand this john why don't people want to take care of their family they think they're going to die or something well i used to be one of those guys i didn't even think about it and one of my buddies said hey the only reason to not have life insurance is if you hate your wife and kids and i immediately went and got term life insurance
That's a gut punch. And you're telling me and for decades, Dave, I've sat across people who've lost a spouse. They've lost somebody important to them. Me too.
They don't know what to do next. Me too. I mean, you're going to have a crisis here. And, you know, you got two options while you're sitting and talking to a young widow. She's concerned about how she's going to invest all this money properly and not mess this up. Or she's concerned how she's going to eat tomorrow. That's exactly right. These are the two options.
Take care of your dadgum family, man.
Term life insurance can replace income, pay off debts, cover funeral expenses, so your family can actually have the opportunity to just be sad.
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Chapter 3: Should I cash in my whole life insurance policies or keep them?
Do you have anyone dependent upon your income? Just me and my wife. Okay. What would your wife do if something happened to you?
I don't know. Good question. But like I said, the house is paid for. She'd still get part of my pension.
Okay.
I signed for that when I got it and social security.
How much will all that equal a month for her?
Probably around $2,200, $2,300. Okay. And then you'll have $70,000 if you cash all this in. What else do you have saved? I have three IRA accounts, two traditional IRAs, and one is a Roth. And then I have a couple of other Roth accounts with a different company.
Okay. How much are in all those accounts total, would you say? About $700,000. Oh, amazing. Okay. Yeah, I would cancel all three of these, Mike, and pay for your funeral with the $70,000. I would. I mean, because how much are you going to be paying for this whole life policy that you're keeping? And your agent wants you to keep it because he's making a great commission off of it.
Right. And I'm still paying on three of the policies. Oh, that's why the insurance agent wants you to keep it.
Exactly. Yep. So I would drop them all, Mike. Okay.
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