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Chapter 1: How did a family affair complicate relationships?
How can we choose joy over resentment after my father's affair with my wife's mother has complicated our relationships? Wow. Is your dad married at the time?
Both parents were. Yeah. Even more. Wow. I don't get surprised very often, but this is a new one. What up? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show, taking your calls on mental and emotional health. It's a new year, so habits, marriages, kids, everything. Whatever you got going on in your life, I'll sit with you and we'll figure out what's the next right move.
If you want to be on the show, give me a buzz at 1-844-693-3291 or go to johndeloney.com slash ask A-S-K. Let's jump right to the phones. We have a couple on to start today's show. Let's go out to Miami, Florida. Let's pick up James first. What's up, brother James? Hey, Dr. John. How you doing, man? How's everything? I'm doing all right, man. Living the dream. Running a scam called a podcast.
All right. Let's bring on. Is this your wife, Lily? Yes, sir. All right. Let's bring on Lily. Lily, you there?
Yes, I'm here. How you doing?
I'm doing great. All right. So, James, I picked you up first. So dudes first today.
Go for it. What's up? So our question, I'll start with our question and then just kind of give you some backstory. So our question is, how can we choose joy over resentment after my father's affair with my wife's mother has complicated our relationships?
Wow. Yep. You said that. Do you ever watch the show Dexter? A couple times, yeah. Yeah, I think you're that guy. You just said that so chill. How do we choose joy over resentment after our parents blew our lives to smithereens?
Yep, yep. We're kind of that couple that, you know, we kind of have that nervous laughter going anytime something crazy happens, you know?
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Chapter 2: What is James and Lily's backstory?
Well, I'm really grateful to be able to talk to you today. My question, I'll get right into it, is how can I leave my marriage without risking my newly sober daughter's recovery?
I don't know that you can. I don't even know what the situation is, but I know that you can.
I realize that's worded kind of strangely. I guess the question really is, should I, I mean, I guess at this point I'm feeling like I really better not. Um, but I can give you a little background if that helps.
Well, before we get to the background, I don't want to complicate it because this feels pretty straightforward. Why do you need to leave your marriage?
Uh, well, the, I want to emphasize that that really has nothing to do with the whole, um, last 10 years that our family and our daughter have been through. In parallel, our marriage has had problems. I've been married for 30 years.
Just tell me, why do you want to leave your marriage? Why do you need to leave your marriage?
I want to leave my marriage because I have things that I can't seem to get through or get over. And we're not talking adultery or abuse, just a lot of other things. And I feel like my husband is just extremely apathetic about the things that I think we would need to do to have a better marriage.
Does he know those things?
Yes.
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