Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Is DOGE Saving America? Matt Damon is a Hero, & Steve Smith Sr. Is a Demon
Wed, 26 Feb 2025
YERRR Schulzy breaks down behind the scenes of what it was like to work with Matt Damon on his upcoming stand up special. We get analytical about DOGE. Akaash hopes Luka beats the brakes off of the Mavs. Steve Smith Sr. is allegedly caught being crazy in the texts. And we figure out how tall Alexx really is on this week's episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE 00:00 Life Announcement with Matt Damon 3:26 Next Tuesday + Dov took it seriously 5:28 Thank you Matt Damon & Neal Brennan 8:56 American Sniper baby + Perfect Pinkies 12:36 Steve Smith rearranging IUDs outchea 15:32 Is it ok to cheat if she’s uglier? 17:50 Mark’s dirty talk + S3xy songs 20:32 Bangladeshi Train Riders 21:53 Matt Damon is unreal + filming this properly 25:28 Matt’s montage, armpits and feet + hawk tuahing 33:52 Charla’s Brazilian wax, Mark is nastyyy + Deportations 43:16 Spirit is the safest airline 46:51 DOGE + What to cut? 55:10 Luka’s gonna score 60 58:33 Will change actually come? 1:04:26 Social Media being weaponised 1:08:10 Dan Bilzerian’s pivot 1:09:57 White Supremacy is so DEI 1:15:19 Bannon’s “Roman” Salute + Call Bibi 94y 1:21:55 Elon Musk’s annoying + Buyers’ remorse yet? 1:27:53 Checking the gov is being American 1:31:00 Vivek would have done it differently 1:32:10 Hiring Elon, Fake newsed + Corporate Greed 1:43:02 Not caring for replaceable employees 1:44:28 Skilful CEOs, Robber Barons & Philanthropy 1:53:30 Hypnosis for dummies 1:55:01 Patreon Clip - Measuring everyone’s heights Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the life announcement involving Matt Damon?
Schultzy. Schultzy, Schultzy, Schultzy.
Matthew.
Hey, cute baby. I didn't get the Amber Alert. Hey, Matt. How are you? Hey, Matt. How are you? It's always good to see you. Good to see you too, man.
Yeah. What are you two up to today? Oh, Jesus. We are celebrating. My new special's coming out.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
What are you, stand up there and grow a mustache?
Actually, if you want to know, it's about my wife and I trying to make a baby.
It's like Red Tomb. Like what?
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Chapter 2: What behind-the-scenes stories are shared about Matt Damon?
I'll watch your fucking I'm shooting blanks comedy special as much as I fucking want to. I'll watch it twice. As a matter of fact, where's it playing? I don't want to tell you. Where the fuck is it playing? Netflix.
Okay, but don't do that thing where you like embarrass me. No, no, I wouldn't want to embarrass you.
Hey, everybody, everybody, listen. Andrew Schultz has a comedy special about how his balls are full of oatmeal, and we're all going to watch it, okay? Thanks. Thank you. You are so Boston. It's amazing. I'm watching it now. I wasn't going to watch it. Now I am going to watch it. Okay. When's it coming out?
I don't want to tell you.
Tell me when it's coming out.
I'm not going to tell you when it's coming out.
Tell me when the fuck it's coming out.
March 4th, but you better not tell a single person, Matt.
I better not tell a single person?
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Chapter 3: How does DOGE factor into the current discussion?
No, but shout out Matt Damon, man. Shout out Matt Damon. Absolute legend. Absolutely. I'm incredible. I literally hit him up. I should like see the text. Like I'm basically asking him to say no in the text. Yeah. And like I probably rewrote that text 40 different times. Of course. Right? Because I don't want to be too presumptuous. I can't assume you would say yes to doing this.
And I know you have a million different things. Legend.
Shout out Tory Lanez, bro. Tory, we need you on the pod.
Yeah, you need that promo with Tory Lanez, bro. Freestyle from prison?
Yeah.
So, but no, I hit him up and I was like, dude, please say no to this. You have way too many things to do to be busy about this. But I got a funny idea for a promo for the special. If you're down, you let me know. And he was like, he's like, yeah, can we do it like between eight and three? That's when the kids are at school. And I was like, yeah. He goes, what day is good for you? I go.
what day is good for you yeah exactly like before this i hadn't really thought it was gonna happen yeah so i had a loose idea yeah and the second he did it became even more anxiety yeah yeah yeah now i gotta write something funny yeah so i wrote this thing with a couple guys mark was definitely helping out joey avery's held it out nesson and then my my immediately i was like i cannot fuck this up so i hit up neil neil brennan and neil was neil's fucking awesome yeah he's
Neil was awesome. So Neil was really helpful. And then he was like, hey, I got to go film The Odyssey Friday. Do you think we could do Thursday? Wow. I was like, oh, you're going to go film Christopher Nolan's movie?
You're the star of it? Yeah, sure. I think we can work around our schedule. So you asked him the way that you actually did it in the sketch. Pretty much. Where you were like, yeah, you won't do this. You probably don't have what it takes to do this role.
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Chapter 4: What are the highlights from Luka and Mavs discussion?
Chapter 5: How is social media weaponized according to the hosts?
Matthew.
Hey, cute baby. I didn't get the Amber Alert. Hey, Matt. How are you? Hey, Matt. How are you? It's always good to see you. Good to see you too, man.
Yeah. What are you two up to today? Oh, Jesus. We are celebrating. My new special's coming out.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
What are you, stand up there and grow a mustache?
Actually, if you want to know, it's about my wife and I trying to make a baby.
It's like Red Tomb. Like what?
No, not my red tube. What are you talking about, weirdo?
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Chapter 6: What are the thoughts on Steve Smith Sr.'s texting scandal?
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you. Appreciate that. Well, you should have come to me for that. Come to you for what? Well, I know everything there is about being born, right? You can use that in your skit if you want.
Matt, how the f*** would I use that in my comedy?
So what was the issue? Like, are you, like, limp?
No, I'm not limp, okay? I get pretty hard. Well, I believe you. I do get pretty hard. I believe you.
Do you want to know what the special's about or not? Sure. All right. It's basically this. The doctor puts the embryo in my wife. The second he puts it in, I'm like, ugh. No one says your sperm is like a C-plus.
Blacked out.
Shit!
Did you just clip-montage me? Yeah. You clip-montaged me. You asked me to shoot... You want to battle with me? You want to clip-montage battle with me? Four decades in the movie business. You want to play this game with me? No, you just said you wanted no one to... Why don't you get a load of this?
I couldn't get the rights to the movies. Oh, fuck. Yeah, we reached out and there was like a whole... What kind of special is this? Do me a favor. Don't watch the special. It's not for people like you. What the fuck does that mean, people like me? Yeah, people like you.
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Chapter 7: How do the hosts view government efficiency and DOGE's role?
Do they have their nipples waxed?
I saw a hair on the shit and I was like, yo, we got to get rid of that. My wife tried to hit me with, that's how the baby knows where the nipple is.
Well, all right. Is that true?
Why isn't she going for mine? Scraggly's on mine.
But yeah, you'll come to find this out. It helps the baby find the areola when it's darker. That's what they say, so they don't got to yank them shits out of their titties anymore.
I think you just put the shit in their mouth. They don't know. That's what you think. Just wait. Anyway, you're going to have some babies. I like the choice he made with him.
Now that Jessalyn is a super famous TikToker, is that going to push back Baby?
Or is that going to make Baby even bigger? At a certain point, she's going to need new content.
Wait, what? You guys keep blowing her up. Oh, we're blowing her up. I thought he was leaving it in.
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Chapter 8: What are the effects of corporate greed according to the hosts?
Also, when you're on the sidelines and it's just like the most diesel testosterone induced dudes ever and there's one girl that's there. Oh, yeah. And she got the Sarah Palin glasses on.
that's true yeah you might have to nail it she's also a freak wait oh by all intents and purposes i mean the things that she was saying you should never say to another man besides your husband was nuts barely even say i'd hate for my girl say that shit to me but what the hell you're a mother why are you saying this don't don't do that talk different to your to your girl now
I mean, I always kind of did. I don't know.
I was never into something too freaky because I was like, ah, this feels... But now that you have a kid, do you guys... Like, when you guys are doing dirty talk, when you're like... What dirty talk? No, but when you're like, there's nothing happening.
Leviticus 22. And the body of Christ was buried. Brandon, it's not that funny, Brandon. It's not that funny, Brandon. Come on. I'm just saying, when you guys are throwing Bible quotes at each other.
Dude, I'll hit her with a psalm every now and again. What psalm? There's some slutty psalms. Do you know those? And I turned you into dust.
Damn. So you letting other men do the wrist for you?
That's crazy, bro. It's like listening to music.
like guys will play miguel and bang their girl it's like yeah you're like he already justified this shit that's fucked up that is fucked up you gotta be thinking bro wait a minute hold on wait a minute that is a good point yo listen to music just let another guy dirty talk your girl and you're paying stream money to it for it what about you're being a cuck basically what about girls you're gonna fuck to a girl singing do a whack or whatever that's insane hold on no one's ever had sex to a girl singing that's never happened
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