Rusty
Appearances
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
It just scales the building. Yeah, I think you're going to climb the REI.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my plane caught on fire w/ billy langdon
Like, there was a lottery at one point.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eric clapton stole my wife
Und ich war so, okay. Wo war der Kass? Wo lebst du? Lebst du nicht in einem großen Apartment?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eric clapton stole my wife
Oh, I can just get it out of there. I can take that out in no time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i got stalked by a live streamer
Oh my gosh, I thought he was wearing like a mask.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
drinking in 11 countries in one day
This may sound weird, but I like to go to the grocery store, and you know how they have those off-brand cereals that are like the weird cons? They're like Boo-Berry? I'll collect those, and I'll try those, and then... I'll go to the grocery store and get different potato chip flavors. For example, last week I had avocado vanilla, and it was disgusting. Avocado vanilla potato chip?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
drinking in 11 countries in one day
I'll do that. Nah, it was terrible. Do you do that by yourself? Yeah, I'll do that by myself. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we interviewed the first ever talking dog
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
We're all familiar with the Irish goodbye. Heard of it. Lauren, are you familiar? Lauren's doing lunchtime.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I'm kidding. Podcasts are just like, I don't really care. Hit me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And I'm walking to the bar to get Joe and I another beer. And there's this guy wearing this really cool sweater.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
i was like oh hey man i love your sweater he's like i want you to have it he started taking it off i was like dude i'm not taking your this lovely guy named jack he goes i want you to have it i want you to have it and i was like dude i can't just tell me the brand like i want i'll just buy my own like i can't in good faith take the sweater he's like please please take it please take it his friends are like dude you're gonna you're gonna regret this it's like a really nice sweater
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It's 1 p.m. Middle of the day. 1.15 p.m. Did you have breakfast?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
and he just was not taking no for an answer gave me the sweater it's like really nice went home washed it let it dry it's an awesome sweater what kind of sweater it's like a knit hoodie so it's like a giant it's like a cable knit hoodie it's sick that's very cool it's got a star what was this guy's deal was he a rust heart yeah i mean he he yeah he was just like a cool guy was he like a fan though
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, he was just like, I love your stuff, but I want you to have it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
So you took advantage of him. No, I literally... Dude, he was not taking no for an answer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, I bought him a beer. So he basically gave me a $120 sweater. What's the brand? Volio? You're going to wear it on the pot?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
i know i'm kind of nervous to wear it though because then he'll see it like i don't want to like run in like i want to get this story out there so he knows what i mean his friends were a little bit more sober but um so you found a drunk guy who was a fan of yours and you took advantage of the situation to literally take his clothing i took the clothes off his back dude if you were there he he truly one of his friends was like it's just gonna be easier if you
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
He was not going down without a fight. You know, I was thinking, White Boy of the Year. I don't think we've revisited that in a while.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Just wanted to off the cuff say, I feel like Luigi Mangione. Oh, yeah. He's up there now. Yeah. He's up there. That guy's awesome. Someone got on us and was like, he has the CEO had a family and kids. And it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you look at it from just the narrow lens that we are looking at it through. Yeah. Which most of our lenses are narrows.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
no people in the comments were getting mad at me for saying that i was like for saying they need a family because you're woke and we're just like the bad boys of comedy right yeah do you realize that we're like we're the we're the bad boys of comedy oh yeah and you're like a what woke you're like a woke lib and we're like the bad boys of comedy we're like really right wing
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
We're the bad boys of... Well, I don't know if that would translate. I don't think supporting Luigi is a... Well, anyway. No, no, no. I was saying just about the bad boys stuff. Oh, we're just the bad... We just don't give a fuck. We're boundary-breaking comedians. Look at this. Fuck. Tatas. Boner.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
What do you think I was talking about?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I talk about poop a lot. Maybe you should turn it off then. Talking about like some big blowout I had or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, I think Luigi's up there for sure.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
My first Christmas memory was I got a pirate ship where I could move the characters from like, there were like different slots for them. So you like move the pirates around, you like built it. It wasn't Lego though. It was not Lego. Okay. I remember the- Playmobil? Maybe. I remember the texture it had, and I liked feeling that. And then the pirates were not very lifelike, but they were.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You could tell they were pirates, and you could move them around and set them up for different scenes. Maybe they were congregated to talk about a big raid. Perhaps a mutiny. Maybe they were talking about overthrowing the captain. What was your first memory ever? Oh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
christmas or just ever ever see i never you never know because you never know if it's just like you've been told the story so much but it was like my first ever joke did i tell you that no we i guess just watched napoleon dynamite and we were on a road trip just like every year we do like a road trip to maine and a road trip to cincinnati two okay and uh not possible for you to remember this yet three then maybe i don't know i could remember it by three
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
What are the point of the headphones if they're on the desk? Yeah, what if the mic's not picking up our volume?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Okay, so maybe I was in the sweet spot. I don't know. But we had just watched it, and I guess there's a line in that where he's like, what are you going to do today, Napoleon? He's like, whatever I feel like. Gosh. Yeah. And I guess I had just seen that movie, and we were on this car trip to...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
ohio or to maine or something it was like an eight hour car trip my sister was having like a freak out uh she would have been like 11 or 12 at the time and uh freaking out like what am i gonna do and i just from the back seat went whatever you feel like gosh and i brought the fucking house down and everyone was like didn't even know i was like capable of like remembering a joke and then applying like it was it was my first ever joke and um that's awesome
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I haven't stopped since. And that's why they sent me to podcasting school.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
My first memory was someone gave me one of those comically large lollipops. It's like rainbow. I feel like we just talked about this, didn't we? Oh, really?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I just remember being like, holy shit. My favorite Christmas memory, though, because you were going to ask.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
What's your first Christmas memory?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Or no, I think it was foosball and air hockey maybe. I don't know. Yeah. But it was... We had this sick basement in my house in Pennsylvania where we had all ping pong, air hockey, and foosball. But we got two of them in one year. And my dad built like... He made one of those boxes inside a box inside a box inside a box. Did you ever get that? Oh, awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
She is good. What? I'll give her that. She's on top of it. So everyone's familiar with the Irish goodbye. I am starting this new thing called the Irish arrive. Okay. It's where you show up on invite.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
So it was like we unwrapped a big gift, and then it was another box, and then we unwrapped that, and then all the way down the bottom, there was a tiny little box that said, like, go to the basement. And then we went down, and that's where it all was.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I know. Really? Someone commented that every story you told, I didn't notice at all.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I think we're all, I mean, if we have to come here and talk about our lives every single week, it's sort of inevitable. I thought I was bringing the heat with new stories that no one had heard yet, and apparently all of them were real. Well, because did I tell the other part of that story, which is...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
He's like... Do you know how to get away from a bear? Wait, I... Oh, sorry. I was going to say that the funniest part of that story that I've now heard is that My dad didn't realize, like, the amount of assembly that was going to be required for these tables and stuff. And, like, we were all young enough that it was, like, very... Santa was still in. So he got home.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
They, like, went out to, like, a Christmas Eve party. And, like, he had had some drinks and got home, like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
a little drunk and like tired and my mom was like i'm going to bed you got to go build that shit and he went out of the basement and he was like and he apparently assembled like the whole thing upside down and had to undo it and redo it and he was up until like 6 a.m and just didn't sleep the night before christmas yeah sounds like an absolute nightmare yeah that's horrible coming home like a little buzz and your wife is just like all right you got it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
How do you escape a bear? Oh. We were told that if a bear is ever chasing you, you have to find a hill to run down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
They can't figure it out. They can walk down it, but if they're running down a hill, yeah, Google bear running. I mean, they know how to run down the hill. I'm saying it's your best chance for them to tumble over themselves.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
This is false. Bears can outrun you no matter where you try to run. Bro has to eat. Where do you read that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Snake? A green mamba? What about a green mamba? Oh, yeah. google google snakes chasing lizard down the beach this is the google fastest snake nope google what i said yeah watch this video this yeah this will's actually right this is the scariest thing you can run away from dude watch these fucking things iguana iguana so that's iguana and now snake is coming snakes are gross
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Or she said, yeah, she was like, you show up without telling anyone. It's the opposite of that. It's when you have plans, and it doesn't work for one-on-one plans or even groups of three. It has to be plans where maybe you could go unnoticed. You just don't show up, and you don't tell anyone you're not coming. And it's the greatest feeling in the world.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Dude, just wait. It's so scary. I also don't get how they move.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, I don't get it at all. I guess it's the way their body slithers. Wait, watch this shit. Wait, how do they move? I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, but it doesn't make any sense. Bro, just put on a three-minute video of a snake chasing an iguana in the middle of our podcast. Wait, I thought Lauren was maybe going to skip away.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Okay, ready? Here you go. Just wait.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Me and the boys finding out Dooley has the bag. Ew. Oh, poor guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Oh, no, he gets out. He gets out. He gets out. Me and the fellas after finding out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Senor Schneef has the bag. The way he's running is kind of silly. Okay, we can cut all of this. That was brutal. Also, Lauren, did you cut the beginning? I guess I didn't notice that when we talked about Justin Pugh because he wasn't here on the last episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, because then everyone was like, you didn't do a number.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Did I tell you I'm on the hunt to find the best burrito in LA?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
So I've been trying different burritos because here's the thing. And I will acknowledge that it's surely because I just don't know where to go yet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
The food here is so bad and it's so frustrating because I'm over it. I'm over it. I've tried everything. I've tried every restaurant that I can think of for burritos, for tacos. Tacos are good. There are really good tacos here. The burritos here suck. The Chinese food here sucks. The Thai food here sucks. Actually, there's a good Thai food.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. The food here is so bad. Where are you going?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Wait, that's... What? Bailing on plans without telling anyone. Everyone hates that guy. The Irish arrive. That's a fun spin on it. I don't think that's good. Because bailing is boring. They're like, oh, Jack Irish arrived. Yeah. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Let me rephrase. You can get pretty good food here. I think it's insane that anyone would say the best food is here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Food here sucks. I hate it. I'm so over it. If you know a good burrito spot in LA, hit me up because I have tried. I'm on my like fifth new one and they're all pretty good. They're all okay. I mean, I feel like I go tacos.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
But I need a burrito. Why? It's just a huge taco.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It was a place on Lincoln. You might have missed this place by the time you got to Maine. The best burrito that I've ever had in my life was Bruce's Burritos in Yarmouth, Maine. And it permanently closed. And I can't figure out what was good about it. It was the chicken was in the salsa was like sweet and there was like you bit into it and it was just like no funny business.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It wasn't like that like charred chicken. It was like sweet and the salsa was good and they had like their own special take on it. And it was just a good burrito, and I can't find that here. It's so annoying. I think the best burrito I ever had was in San Diego. I think that makes sense.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
So, I don't know. I don't know. If you guys have any insight, I've tried every one that people say, and they're all pretty good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Straight gas. But I need, like, a special salsa. Well, you just asked us for recommendations and then you hated on it. No, no, no. I know. I was just saying, like, does it have that or is it just... They got everything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
They have multiple options. I'm just really frustrated.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I'm going to go try that. I have a notes app where I've been trying new ones. I'm just so frustrated. I want to get to the bottom of this because I know it's out there. I know there's a good one here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah. Like just now? Yeah, because there's a thing that says Al Pacino over there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
um i had something on saturday and i just got tired and i just went home and i didn't i didn't go and i didn't tell anyone what was the thing it's a friend's birthday party but but this makes you a piece of shit i went i went mini golfing with him right before it so it was like i got wait you're telling me i didn't get invited to joe's birthday party yeah yeah well closer than that it actually it was at it was like a four-way birthday joe who
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Hopefully. I think they might now have a YouTube shoot. I don't know. Running up there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
But there's so much year left. But the New Year's one would be the one where we would talk about the year.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I'm on drugs. I was wondering because you used to be so bad and now you're so much better.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You're insane, and you have to be worried about you crashing out or something, as the kids say.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
We give Lauren one Lexapro for every 10,000 views. Or every 100,000. They last a week. And that means if the video gets to 20,000 views, she has to take two. Even though she doesn't want to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Have you tried like trying to cut it in half so you only get the highs? I like that idea.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Let's split one one day and see what happens.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Oh, great. I got the lows half again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It's just like a huge risk. Yeah. What else did we have to talk about?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I don't know. Birdman? Chris Anderson? That's Birdman. Yeah. No, not even close. I don't know. It's got to be like a funny guy, right? That's what I'm thinking. You'd think it'd be like Gronk or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
people that have 69 uh me and show me pamela anderson age she's like in her 50s is she yeah oh fuck pamela anderson in 12 years um all right who's 12 and pamela anderson came out uh meryl streep's husband
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Meryl Streep's younger sister. Wait. This game fucking sucks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
When Lauren looked up celebs who are the autocorrect was celebrities who are Republican.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Sam's friend. That's fine. It was like a four-way birthday and it was at two other guys' houses that you haven't met. Alright, I can live with that then. Wait, did I ever tell you about how I've mastered the Irish goodbye?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Mr. Bean. It's crazy that they say he's more famous than all of those other people. He's more famous. He's paying to be there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Come back to me. I don't even know what movie Mr. Bean is from. I obviously know the memes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I don't know if I've seen that one. What's the one where he's like a spy? I don't know. Mr. Bean's a spy. Mr. Bean's a spy. Should we do Roadmap? Yeah, Johnny English. Oh, he was a spy. I thought you were just making that up. No, no, no. Well, it's not Mr. Bean. It's technically Johnny English. Wait, so is he like a very famous British actor?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, he's like the most famous British comedian of like his era.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
No, Mr. Bean was like... I mean, I guess him and like... Yeah. Yeah. I guess maybe not the most famous one up there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I brought... We have to go straight into our shoot. No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Where did we get food? There's always like Jersey Mike's or something. Oh, maybe. I don't know. All right. You brought pasta? Nice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Is it really? Already? What? Baseball? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I was like, good to God. Baseball starts in April. It's like they're really turning it around this year. Is it already spring? They already got Juan Soto.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
We have Christmas traditions that don't exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
No, I just was trying to tune out. I hate the roadmap.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Want. Want. Flint. Ground. Grind. Grind.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Grinch. Grind? Yeah. It's right between six and eight.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It's just seven? What about Grinch? Grind. Grinch is in between 13 and 14.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It's like its own thing? It's a one-off? That would be fun if like 84 was just Slim.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It was like a fun little... Eleventy. Whoa! I don't know. My body hurts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
All right, Lauren, let's hear some pitches.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You guys are probably opening Prandons. You guys are probably opening Prandons. Presents. Sipping on hot chee.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, I meant to make a wall tent. What, my wall tent? No, I'm going to lay my wall tent flat. No, this is a coincidence. Oh, fuck.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
too all right i don't give a fuck i oh wait can i tell you one funny thing before we get into this i uh we were we had this like retreat all last week and edge gave me his credit card to have like for if we needed like groceries and stuff um while we're there and then i just still had in my wallet on friday and i went out to buy toilet paper and toilet cleaning supplies and which yeah i'm cleaning up down there you needed that for a week like one week of being there
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
No, no, no. It was Friday after we'd gotten back from the retreat. So I was just back at my house, but I just still had Edge's credit card that I wasn't going to give him until Monday, like the company card. And I went to CVS and bought toilet paper and toilet cleaning solution and wasn't even paying attention and tapped his card. So then I was like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I could probably get away with this, but this would be really bad if he caught me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
So then I texted him and I said, integrity check. And I sent him everything I got.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
What were you saying? Elf Rudolph. They're doing something with him. Elf and Rudolph. Dude, there's this girl in my apartment complex that, yeah, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, for my bud. um what were you i was in college yes a kid in my friend group sent me and a handful of other guys in like a big like 50 person group chat a picture of a video of him pooping in a bucket in our friend's yard and the angle that he did it you could like see it come out and i have never fully recovered um
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It was, it's one of those things that you never really think about until you like are looking at someone's butthole doing it. So he was like under, he propped his phone up and then he squatted over a bucket and pooped. And, uh, it was the, it was the hardest I've ever laughed, but the grossest thing I've ever seen in my life. And then the kid whose house it was, wasn't home.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And it was like, what are you doing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
He's in his front yard. That's just good. How come we never do that to each other? Uh, I mean, I want to do this prank on Chester. Have I told you about this idea? Where every time I know that he goes out drinking, I order Taco Bell with his name on it to his doorstep at two in the morning. And, like, the things that he would order.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And so he starts to wake up after these nights, even though he knows he didn't, like, black out, and thinking that he blacked out because he thinks that he somehow ordered Taco Bell at 2 a.m.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You know what I mean? I might get Taco... I had this thought the other day. Maybe the answer to my burrito thing is, like, we just assume Taco Bell is gross. I think Taco Bell might have the best tasting... It might just be the best.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I haven't talked about it forever. I had three Taco Bell burritos this weekend and they're great, but they're not. It's like a different, it's a whole different category. Right, right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I also thought, I was talking to my mom. She was like, you should learn, like my next thing that I get fixated on, because I'm kind of burning out. I've kind of fizzled out the Legos thing with like doing it every day. My next thing might just be like learning how to cook. That'd be great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Like I think the secret to like the reason I'm not finding the chicken in the burrito that I like the best is because what I like the best is something that I have to figure out how to make. That's a good point. You could be the guy who makes the best burrito in LA. Right. I think I could figure it out in a year. Yeah. I think I could figure out in 11 months. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Would you ever start a restaurant with me? Yeah, I want to start a little coffee shop that's got nice little treats. That'll never work. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You're going to never make it in this business.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, if you won the lottery. Well, if one of my cryptos takes off, then I'm golden.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I used to. Really? At Rollins, yeah. I had a really because I feel like I'm one of the luckier people like in terms of just like things falling into my lap. I had a thought that there's if there was someone who was going to do it. I think it would be it would make sense. Yeah, that it was me. I would love to win it and just spend all my money on like one huge car.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
imagine a limo and then triple quadruple it four four times the length of a limo there was also a kid at the university of florida that hit the lottery when he was a junior really like google lauren google yeah it's that well look at that oh my god yeah lauren google university of florida kids win kid wins the lottery it was like i think you want i think you made like a hundred million dollars that sounds awesome lottery winner
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It's like part of... Glad she's on top of it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
No, it was like a, there was a, you can, people can find it at home. Lawrence just not be able to find it somehow. But the University of Florida kid hit the lottery and it was awesome. That sounds great. Yeah. That's sick. I had a vision it would happen to me. All right. Should we hear some pitches?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
She's gristling. All right, let's go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I'm the most hungry I've ever been.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I love that so much. Yeah. That gesture of like, that wasn't about the pitch. It was just, there were the loud, the three loudest noises I've ever heard. It's getting loud in here. Um, I love that so much. I, someone had posted, they, it's just with flights, but you can start logging all your flights on a separate app and, But you have to go in and manually do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And then at the end of the year, it'll tell you how much you flew. Hers would be awesome because it's just always going. Yeah. What a... Oh, you know what I saw recently? It was an app where it's like... You set it for your... Everywhere you go, it like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
shows that you've been there yeah so it would it's it shows you what percentage of the world you've like seen and then people will try and cover the whole city that they live in yeah like it would show you like any like street you haven't been down in la and stuff and like oh wait that's real yeah that's a real oh sick what um the back to her idea though what do you think your number one most visited place would be i know what mine would be city just place on the map but i'm saying how specific like college probably mine would probably be my house
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You've been in Dayton more than your own house? You've been to your college the most?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
my house same all right excluding your house where is it oh probably work yeah okay oh maybe the gym for me not to excluding your house and the office yeah probably probably the gym i went to mine would be cafe lux probably because i go maybe five days a week little lunch you every morning yeah It's a lot of money on coffee, you know? You can invest that and be a billionaire by age 24.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
We took a class one time where he... You ever heard of like the rule of 72 or whatever? It was like an investing thing where it's like if you... How many years it would take to double your money, whatever. And he would be throwing these numbers out where it's like if you invested $500 a month... you know, every month or whatever, like with compound interest.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And the number was always like, you will have $10 million, whatever. And it sounded perfect on paper. And I just, I've always wondered like, why didn't I take that advice? Why, why am I not taking that advice?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
i know i want to get really really really savings i want to save so much money we get really really really savings oh yeah um no same how much money do you have i'm not doing this right now not enough how much money i'm not i don't know how much money do you have you'll never know i think i know exactly how much money you have actually how much money you have lauren
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I wonder what you think it is. I'm a good saver. I know how much is in your savings account. I'll tell you that much.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
But I know how much is in your checking account.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I didn't think you were going to click. He kept clicking, like, view account balance instead of, like, withdraw. Yeah, the button looked like it was that. And he did it twice, and the first time I was like, oh! And then the second time I was like, show me. I'm Willa D. Um... Lauren, how much money do you have?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
There's this girl in my apartment complex that every time she walks into a room that I'm in or the elevator when I'm in it, physically jumps and screams.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Comment down below how much money you think Lauren has.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
If you want to, just I want to see.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
No, no, no. The lowest number wins. Okay. That means you bought the most cool stuff. Yeah, that's true.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Once we get to two episodes a week, well, everything's going to double. We're going to have like double the amount of pants, double the microphones. Like when your parents get divorced. Yeah, exactly. I need two toothbrushes now. Four shoes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
If you go to get a drink or something, you might miss. You're going to miss a song.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I think I know what this is and I love it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Great idea. I'm actually shocked that they haven't done that yet. But you would have to go meet the person. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe that's I think the idea with the app is that like once they leave, maybe they scan on their way out and then it sends it to you and you can come in. Or when you get in, they put a shock collar on like your ankle or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And until you leave, it's just like zzzz. That's a good point. One of my biggest regrets, but I maybe could have used this to make money, is when I went to the Aero store, I went after Gracie played. Oh, my God.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah. I didn't know any of her songs at that point. I love her so much.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Let me have my own journey with her.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
for the record i don't i don't have any of her songs saved it's like the song i just like hearing them when they're on oh yeah so i also well if you want to listen it's just funny how they like the song like the tiktok thing is like it's going like song by song on her album like it's becoming like the hottest thing on the internet wait what do you mean like it was like close to you was like the biggest song on tiktok and then it was like risk and then it was like i love you i'm sorry and then now it's that's so true and i bet you next is let it happen
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I think that what happened was it popped off and then when that fizzled out, the like TikTok people were just like, all right, what can I do next? And they just went down one. Yeah. I mean, I do.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
yeah but like risk and close to you like she's had those written for a while yeah but i'm just saying in terms of like their relevance on tiktok it's felt like it's been like one after one after one after one like right now it's that's so true yeah but that song was out when i love you i'm sorry was and that was like the biggest thing well no that's so true it was on the deluxe Oh, is that true?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Okay. Well, maybe I'm wrong, but it's felt like that from my perspective. Whatever, man. But I love that idea. That being said, one of the cool things about concerts is that you go for the headline act and then you sometimes end up really appreciating the opener or vice versa.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
We're recording. We have a lot to celebrate today. Playdate episode 69.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I was like, you walked in on me. You were just checking your mail? I was just literally just holding a package that I got in the mail. And then what'd you get?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
No disrespect to Rainbow Kitten Surprise, but at least in my... Watch your tongue, Buffalo Breath. In my opinion, it feels like Mount Joy and Camp are better now, right? They're bigger now, yeah. Well, maybe. I don't know. They're kind of on par. But whoever is booking Rainbow Kitten Surprise has a really good eye for talent. Agreed, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
um i mean that was like 2018 yeah a long time ago should we pitch each other yeah pitches pinches all right i've got the giving tree i don't know what that book is about i've never read it so that's not part of it it's a tree it's a it's i'm i've been i believe in real trees so it's a attachment to a real christmas tree
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
and it's sort of a big cylinder in the middle, and you load all the presents in. And then when it's time to do presents, you fire up the giving tree, and it goes, Lauren!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
rusty and then it deposits one present and you walk up like shoots it across the room yeah oh yeah or yeah or it shoots it or whatever you can adjust the power on it but it sends one present out and you open it it's fun because one thing that sucks one thing that sucks and it even now that we're grown-ups and it's like not as big of a deal with presents you
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Blur that because last week it was a fucking nightmare. The ding dong arrestment. Anyway.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
My balls are stuck to your leg. I peed your pants. Get them off! All right, sorry. What's the worst part, Willie? Grumble. No, the worst part is you come down and you can't even help yourself. You look at your stack of presents. You might glance over at your brother's, try to see who's got a bigger one. You may...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
you know even it's like absolutely it's like embarrassing now even as adults you get down i'm like no 100 you're lying if you say you don't do that well it's also like you're you're uh when someone else is opening theirs you're just like all right like okay yeah unless you gave it or getting one yeah or like you're just awkwardly sitting there like holding yours while someone else is doing it like this way it would be like who's next yeah you don't know who's next it's and you don't you're not keeping tabs on who had the biggest one or who had the
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
yeah anyway so i love the giving tree so it just comes flying at the top or i could or out the yeah i was picturing slowly at the bottom he kind of wanted to be like a like maybe more gimmicky than we were initially envisioning so i'm fine with whatever the giving tree what you do to get you uh take another healing oh my god
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You've never been turned on during the pod? uh i'm extremely turned on when we're recording this i've been surely i i don't think i've ever gotten like a boner but like i've definitely thought of something hot that would be awful if one of us got like a huge whatever huge throbbing boner
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You know my sketch I want to make about the guy in the aisle seat on the airplane who has a pant-tearing boner, and then the person in the next seat over wants to get up and use the bathroom?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Like, sir, excuse me. They're like tapping and saying your name, and you're just like not waking up trying to get it to go down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
hmm so is that like a big issue like if you well like i don't know it's not a big issue just like put it in your yeah for will it is a not a very big it's not a very it's a small issue for a guy like me i mean you can just like tuck it in your like waistband but yeah like but if you're like in public you can't like if i stood up and i had a bunner like you would know if i didn't like adjust it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And my question is, is she scared of me or is she scared of people? Because if I if it's if it's just that she's skittish and she's scared of anyone, I can live with that. But it feels like it's just probably you. I wasn't wearing anything scary. I wasn't wearing my mask. You weren't wearing your fangs. I wasn't. I was wearing my fangs. There we go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Someone commented about me. It was like, Jesus Christ, Willie yawns every fucking episode. Yeah. I'm sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
My favorite way that you describe boner is that you always say pant tearing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I had a boner one time and a teacher asked me to get up and solve a problem. That actually happened? Yeah. It's like a vine problem. I had it in my waistband and I could feel it going away But the problem with that is once it got to a certain point, it would still be 60% hard, but it wouldn't be tall enough to reach my waistband anymore. My dad listens to this podcast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I felt it escape the band and just go like... Like a drawbridge?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And then I turned around and went back to my seat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, I don't get hard as much as I used to. I used to be hard just all the time. The whole day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
There were? Yeah. One time I was so worried about getting soft that I wore...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I love boners. I don't want to be around anymore. What's your favorite part about boners? Gross. You can't ask a girl that. I think we almost have an HR department. Remember when we almost got one?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
The red part. I only like the white. It's that, like, they only come in one shape. You know what I mean? Two shapes. The little ones? That's the same shape. But it's still a cane, right? It's kind of an outdated thing. No one really uses canes anymore. Introducing candy canes for other disabilities. So there's a candy wheelchair. There's candy glasses. There's candy crutches. There's candy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It's inclusive. Everyone can feel like, you know, whatever. Candy casts. Candy crutches sound tough. Awesome. And don't Google it. They don't exist. I just made it up. He's Google candy wheelchair. That is absolutely insane that you thought something was going to come up. Yeah. And then like, I feel like the candy wheelchair would be fun. Cause there's like different things to like lick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Like the candy cans. Like you're the only one. Like I get in like the holes of the chair. But here's the thing. The wheels off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
candy can't cane isn't that like a j for jesus or is that just a lie my sunday school teacher told me that's a lie your son is going to tell you oh god if i find out harry potter isn't satanic now i like it what'd you say i like that thank you that's that's very sweet my um brother and sister's sunday school teacher growing up told them they couldn't read harry potter because it was like false gods i fucking hate ccd isn't that crazy he used to tell us the dumbest shit i know
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It was like the Sunday school. What you do to get you? Here's the problem. Here's the problem with Catholicism. Hit me. There are many problems. There are many problems with it, but like for the, like getting people to be excited about God. Yeah. The people that are in charge are always just such sticks in the mud. I agree. So boring. And it's like, there's more to it than the Sunday school stuff.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
That was what was like annoying. It was like, I know this is, it's interesting stuff, but, The Bible is an awesome story, and it's just told by just absolute boring people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
That guy was boring. So did I tell you about what my Monsignor happened? What happened to him?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I got mail. We were talking about mail and it made me think I got a package stolen. First of all, Spotify. Love Spotify. They sent us this nice little Christmas gift. It is filled with the most. Yeah, it's filled with like asbestos. Yeah, it's got anthrax in the box. Was your guys' stuff all wet, dude?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Him and the lady that... You know there's always a person who's kind of like the head of the church? Yeah. The head chick at the church. Her and Monsignor ran off together. Really? They live in Texas now. Wow. You know, there's a Catholic priest at my church that was attached to the middle school I went to that was married and had a kid.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It's Christmas Day when you're listening to this. It is Christmas Day today. I'm fired up. Should we get the kiss out of the way now or should we wait? Yeah, just kiss me already. That's for all you fans at home. I hope that was worth it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And it was because if you've been married and had a kid, you can't become a priest, but you can transfer from a Protestant. He was an Episcopal priest, had a family, and then decided to become Catholic. And they let him do it. So he had literally best of both worlds. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. I love it. I love it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
uh they just a few of them just got released back to uh back to uh have you seen that video it's like a girl in austin uh no no they got released back to australia but it was these like nine like drugs these people i guess oh they had the heroin strapped on them yeah i don't remember what happened though that's all i know Did you read this recently or? I don't know. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Anyway, they were like these Australian guys that figured out they could like smuggle heroin from Indonesia into Australia. And then they like, yeah, it was like 20 years ago or something. It was like 2004 or something. They got caught with like heroin strapped to them because they'd been caught on to and got arrested. And the two ring looters got executed by firing squad in 2000 and like 2004.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
by Australian authorities no by Indonesian authorities but I just like that was like 10 years ago yeah I mean you can't be you can't be trying to do any business in countries where they are strict about stuff like insane so like the rest of the crew just got released and they're back home and like free and everything because like they've already done more time than like you would even get for that right
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
in Australia but isn't that insane to like get caught for I mean obviously smuggling heroin is no good but getting executed by a firing squad why does it have to be a squad couldn't it just be one guy I'll tell you I'll tell you only one guy in the squad has a bullet and the rest have blanks so that all of them can like sleep soundly at night knowing that they were probably not the person that killed them really isn't that insane there's only like one bullet in the like seven is that real can you look that up so they can all be like firing squad
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Like six of them have blanks or however many. There's an easier way to Google that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I know it does feel, just click on execution by firing squad. I mean, if you just Google the blanks part, it'll come up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
This was just a funny choice. It was like packing peanuts to the extreme, where it was these tiny little grains of something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Wait, again, it feels like if we Google the blanks part.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Interesting. It's almost like what I just told you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, I think what we need to realize is that he killed the guy. I just did not think that existed. I'm not here to play... I mean, I think the death penalty is always bad, but firing squad is crazy. I don't think it's bad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I think there are some guys that need to get... I think there are some guys that need to be killed, but I think that in practicality, it is a result of people that didn't deserve to be killed getting killed. And if that happens even once, it's never worth doing. People have been executed that were wrongly convicted.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It was supposed to look like snow. It didn't aesthetically look cool, but it's all over my floor. I still haven't figured out how to get it all.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, I think we've got it down to a science now where these guys rarely slip through the cracks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, I mean, I think there are guys that should be killed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, I mean, the last time someone was... Now it is virtually impossible to wrongly convict someone of murder. It just happened this year. This year a guy was killed. Yeah, that was like... Stand corrected.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
But how was it known? There was evidence that had come out, but they couldn't retry it or something, and everyone was trying to get the governor to pardon him, and...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
yeah why'd the governor yeah i don't know i mean there it wasn't like a hundred percent either way but it was like any amount of doubt is like not i mean that just seems like the app the the state killing a person what there's like shit like crashing down we're in it we are in an active war zone yeah um let me if that could be a fun pod Active Warzone pod? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, anyway, whatever. But anyway, a couple weeks ago, I ordered...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It's like the... 32 Park? 432 Park Avenue. It's like a famous building. There's like all this shit wrong with it. Go to images. It's on like Billionaire's Row and it's just like... It's always like fucking flooding and like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
they just kind of half-assed it it feels like but look how tall this building is the trash chute that people use is just a straight line from the top to the bottom there's no like breaks or like undulations in it and like which is not it's not like common practice like that's never how it's done the you almost always have shit like slow it down whatever but
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
that got there safely a couple weeks ago i ordered where's waldo because me and my roommate were talking about how that'd be like a fun coffee table book to have yep uh i also thought that could be fun like if you're watching a show or something that you're kind of passively watching you could also be peeking around for waldo waldoing so we did we ordered where's waldo in hollywood which seemed fun because we live out here now and uh and then i also threw in the polar express i thought that would be a fun little book to have what website was this amazon.com oh no
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And it's, like, so nice. Wait, Google, like, the trash chute.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Wow. A-Rod lives there. It literally sounds like bombs are going off. Like, imagine, like, surely the trash is exploding by the time it reaches the bottom, too. The garbage man is probably like, I fucking hate this. Or could you imagine, like, you're in there collecting it? Like, oh!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, wait, I was wondering, like, how do, if you're putting something down in a trash chute, like, there is a split second where, like, your hand could get, like, taken off, right? Yeah. Creaking, banging, and clicking. Oh, by something above it? How do you know something's not falling? I think usually they'll have a thing you set in that slides it into the main chute. It's probably not open.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Okay. Like you put on like a, yeah. Can I show you guys my This Guy Rocks? This is the person I've been most excited to show you ever in my entire life. Oh, I got to pull mine up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
This guy rocks. Okay. I want you guys, before we, Lauren, pause this immediately. And I mean immediately. Okay. Perfect. Willie, I want you to do a little thinking exercise right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You are a father. You're a Jewish father. Okay. No, I'm not. Wait. You probably wouldn't be dressed like you are right now if you were, but you're a Jewish father. Your son's bar mitzvah is coming up or maybe your daughter's wedding. And you are in the market for a DJ, a DJ service. Okay. You find Avaha Productions or however you say it. And this guy answers the phone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I want to hire that guy. I mean, that is a true professional.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Boom. You call us for your events. Yeah, I love him. We also were talking about, like, does he not... Surely he doesn't know about that you can do it twice. Do what? Just film it again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, what was wrong with that? He lost his train of thought like three or four times and then at the end... I mean, I don't want to... No, he said... The end was like a train wreck. I thought he probably that is the best he can do. I'll put it that way. I don't know that it gets much better than that. Boom. Why are all the comments are like real?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
She goes, what are the next steps? How is the event?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, but being a DJ for a Jewish wedding is more than just pushing a button. It's knowing who the rabbi is. How is your event? Are we doing it? My favorite is, like, there were moments where he goes into, like, I've seen, like, agents or, like, guys, like, do this thing where it's like, are we doing this?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah. Those guys got everything. And then I threw in some coffee beans as well because I was out of coffee beans and I had to hit like $35 to get like free shipping or something. Sometimes I'll look over at that window and Emily Binder is like staring at us. Yeah. She hates when we do our pod since we're creeping up on them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's, like, a light in there where he's seen someone talk. He's trying, yeah, yeah. And he's trying to, I just like that. He's watched the celebrity attendance. How is the event? How is the event? I mean, he's asking all the right questions. Can we watch it one more time? Sure.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I mean, I wish him the best. I want to hire him for my Jewish wedding. Right. Once I find myself a Jewish princess. Is there a world where maybe we can bring in someone else to run the pitches? Because it feels like Ariel is maybe more of an ideas guy. No, I think you can see the passion in his quivers, though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
where where's the rabbi where is the rabbi where are we doing a dance for are we doing a lady where the fuck is the rabbi how are we gonna do are we doing a hava all right i just liked it lauren are we doing a hava are we so can we definitively say whether or not that guy rocks yeah he rocks i want to hire him yeah oh well they kind of look alike this looks like the other guy Just play it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Look at, like, the face he's making. I wouldn't let this guy cut my hair with a ten-foot pole. Ah, well. Ah, see?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
She hates our pod. All she cares about is characters. Sorry, the order wears well, though. That's the only package I've ever had at my new place get stolen. Did they put it over the fence? I don't know. Usually, yes. This one, I'm thinking maybe they didn't. I was out of town, and I got home two days later, and it was gone. I have a bone to pick with people that steal packages. Hit me. Pick it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Click the Mohawk one. It's fine. Don't worry about it. You don't have to watch all these haircuts. All right, Mohawk haircut. Correct me if I'm wrong. It feels like the haircut's already done. Yeah. Oh, no. He's going to shave it clean. Okay. I think we got it. Yeah. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Yeah. I would not let that guy cut my hair.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, I mean, you can't, like, not wanting to drink is one thing, but you can't force that on other people. Agreed. Also, it'd be one thing if they were, like, problems. Yeah, well, I don't know. Maybe they are. No, but I'm saying the fact that she wasn't like, it's been an issue in years past, like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
i correct me if i'm wrong obviously maybe don't drink during the presents part but like drinking on christmas is like one of the most fun things in the world oh i don't drink at all really i don't drink on holidays i don't like drinking around my family that's crazy wait are you thanksgiving and christmas are my two favorite days in the world um is there a reason why you just yeah i mean i just i don't know i just i just think it's not that fun i don't know
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
My mom doesn't at all. My dad doesn't that much. So it's just, like, I don't ever want to feel like I've, like, had more to drink than my family. I feel like there's, like, not fun. Yeah. I don't know. I just like, and I think Lauren will agree. The, one of the greatest feelings in the world is like you wake up in the morning, like popovers are going or like some breakfast is happening.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Pick my bone. You have no idea what's in there. That's what I'm saying. You don't need this. 90% of the stuff that's getting delivered to people is boring. So what, you have to steal 100 packages and a handful of them are cool? Well, this is exactly what prompted it. I was like, alright, so this guy opened that up and then got Where's Waldo? And then he almost surely was just like, fuck it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Like mimosas are already out on Christmas day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. That's not my experience at all. That's awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
or that's not awesome what i'm talking about yeah fair enough and then i don't need to drink on the holidays but it definitely elevates well you need to drink in general right because otherwise you get like the shakes and like delirium tremens delirium you get tremens disease what is tremens delirium tremens is like withdrawal induced hallucinations like a crazy ipa yeah it is um oh is it actually yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Probably not that part. Yeah, dude. I'll walk you through what Christmas Eve and Christmas looks like at the Featherstones. I usually go. There's this wine shop and me and my sister go and pick out all the bottles that we want. And then we usually have beer. And then on Christmas morning, we have mimosas. And then we open presents with mimosas. And then everyone keeps drinking mimosas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And then for Christmas dinner, we switch to wine. And then everyone goes to bed and I keep having wine. And then everyone wakes up and I'm still having wine. And then they bring me to a facility and they make me stop drinking wine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
oh that sounds awesome it's i guess every family just has their own thing um no my wine consumption last year was like problematic oh yeah or no it was two years ago it was the same did i ever show you that picture where the homeless guy split my lip open yeah you talked about that it was like that same like i just had a big week yeah and then my mom was like the amount of wine you're drinking is concerning
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
One of my favorite restaurants to go to on dates is... With his girlfriend. With my girlfriend is this place where we... It's like a... Lauren actually recommended it, but they do like a tasting menu. So they bring out like new plates and stuff. But we order a bottle of wine at the beginning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And the lady, I think, thinks that... Maybe she's just being polite, but she thinks that I... The waitress, not my girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Will, like, hand me the cork and, like, put a little bit for me to, like, smell and drink. And I'm like, there's nothing I could say about it. Like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
wait what wait that's normal no no i know like the tasting part oh yeah i'm not in a point of my wine knowledge where like i am going to contribute anything yeah so like you might as well just pour the glasses because like if anything i'm just not gonna know what to do i can't fucking i'm sorry it's actually insane playing a full game of basketball i'm sending a message
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
All right, should we do... Oh, wait, we have more Am I the Asshole?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
So just check while you're at my house still. If it's something good, take it. If it's bad, leave it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
No, I think you should have. Wait, why is it going off 20 times a day? I don't know. You should take it out. You should have taken the battery out and thrown it through the windshield.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
um no that's awesome that you like covered your tracks i know it's almost like you shouldn't have because yeah wearing gloves and what was it wearing a mask or something he just said that there's no camera cautions to not get caught it almost looks like you know you're guilty way more incriminated i think you should be banging on the door and being like i'm going to set your car on fire if this keeps happening
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Was that explained at all? Did I miss something there?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Well, they don't know. Get a bigger car. Yeah, get a bigger car. All right, everyone ready for Rusty's Would You Rather?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You're fucking joking. What are you doing now?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Because then everyone would understand. Sorry, I can't give them. No, you can't tell anyone. Oh, never get them then.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, but how bad would that suck? I know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I told you my mom said she wasn't going to do them this year. Yeah, that's horseshit. But apparently my opposition took hold. You have not until she's got nine more fucking years. I know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
But you're all kind of the same age too. There will never be an age where it'll be to stop getting gifts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Not milk. That was... I took the words right out of my mouth. That was... All right. Not okay. Willie, it's Christmas. Yeah. What are some fun Christmas traditions that you and your family did? Oh, boy. The Christmas morning glue traps. So, you know, we all like to scurry out of our beds and run down and see the presents and stuff.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Well, my parents will intricately lay out a series of glue traps throughout the house. So if you're not careful, you get stuck. And if you get stuck, you get your presents last. One time my brother got stuck in a glue trap and we didn't find him till the next Christmas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
That was, for the record, a comically loud opening. I know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah. He was dead. Okay. What about you? Well, in my house, we love to do the present lighting. Okay, yes. So we vote on who was the worst that year, and then we set their most valuable present on fire. Oh, that's fun. Okay, yeah. It's kind of a lesson in accountability. We do the coal lottery because, listen, let's just cut, let's call a spade a spade here. Nobody's ever getting coal, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Because no one wants to be like, you are bad, right? It's bad for morale. It's going to just go over poorly. But coal in the stocking is a Christmas tradition that kind of goes underappreciated. So we do a lottery. It's a random drawing that Santa does the night before Christmas, and then one of us gets coal in our stockings.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And you know it's random, so it doesn't hurt, but it kind of adds that element of will I, won't I when you go to reach in your stocking. I love it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Mango. Goddamn. Everything you've been doing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
We take Christmas cards from all of our family friends, and we shuffle them, and someone picks one and has to call them and tell them that we don't want to be friends anymore. That's so fun. We do the gift that reeks. Every year, one child will get a gift that absolutely stinks. Totally stinks. And it's mixing with all your other presents. So beware the gift that reeks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It's like you have to go take a shower after. It totally puts Christmas to a halt. It's really fun. I love it. Well, we love to wear Christmas stockings. So we all wear women's stockings under our pajamas. And it just makes us feel sexy and feminine. We do women's underwear in my house. What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
We'll give her a break. Idea I had, which was a Yankee swap for Porch Pirates.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Everybody knows about Feliz Navi Dad, but my mom has been feeling left out, so lately we've incorporated the traditional singing of Feliz Navi Mom.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
All right. Well, in my house, we love to bake Christmas edibles. Oh! So we make half the cookies weed and half the cookies not, and then we see who's really baked. You're probably like, I hope I get the edible. I'm sitting there like, I would hate to be feeling awesome right now. Stony baloney you, this guy. We do the Elves Mutiny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
yeah that's fun because they just like everyone goes and steals one gift and then they put it in the middle and then they do a little yankee swap i love that it's all like it's like someone's medication they need yeah it's like oh there was i saw a video there were these girls that were on the news because they chased down their porch pirate like three college girls uh someone came and sold their packages and they're on the news and they're like well did would he have gotten anything good and they're like no it was like it was like my allergy medicine and an inhaler and then they had a bunch of like bikinis and stuff
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It's a play that we reenact every Christmas, like the Thanksgiving one I was telling you, about a mutiny organized by the elves, and they end up killing Santa and taking his carrots and cookies.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And then by the end of Christmas, our house is filled with ants. I was going to say, it sounds like that would attract real mouse. Yes. Yeah. All right. Very fun. Okay. We're calling it right now for everyone who's out there shopping. These are the hottest toys of the 2024 Christmas season. Hit me. My Little DJ.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It comes with a little DJ board for the kid, a bottle of Don Julio, some Molly, and some groupies. Love that. Water rocket. This is something I've always wanted. What the fuck is going on out there?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Okay, I got the water rocket. Ready? It's like, you know how normal balls go up and then down? This one is you throw it in water, but it perfectly matches the weight and density of water, so it replicates the trajectory of what the ball would do in air. So you can throw it into the pool. Oh, I love that. And it'll come right up at your butt. Does that make sense? Yes, that's awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
You lost me for a second, but I got it now. Because I feel like that's possible if you made it heavy enough. I don't know how to do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Everyone seems really distracted. Yeah, I was.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
All right, how about this? The hot ball. It's a ball that you toss around, but you can turn on a setting to make it like crank the heat on that thing. So it's like hot potato, but it's in real life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
It's tiny little cars, but the wheels are scalding. Yeah. All right. I've got the street legal toy car. I want one of those little toy cars that kids drive, but that you can take on the street. I love it. Get those kids behind the wheel. Get those kids behind the wheel. I've got the goop proof iPad. Yep. So it's a regular iPad, but the screen repels things like snot, spit, Cheeto dust, anything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
So you can just put your kid in the corner. You never have to wash that dirty little iPad again. Love that. The hot elf. Not physically hot. It is... I'm not going to say that word because that's not a good word to use. Sexy? Sexy. It's an elf, but it's like a doll of an elf, but it's busty as all get out. I love it. I've got the iPhone assembly line. Oh!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I feel like kids these days are getting their iPhones and they're not really understanding the work that goes into making them. So it mimics the conditions of a real iPhone factory and the working hours and the wages and the lunches, the snacks, everything like that. And so that the kids really appreciate how hard it was to make the thing that they use every day. That's amazing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I've got the auto return balls. Okay, these are... I'm telling you, we have the technology to do this. Ready? So whether it's a golf ball or a football or a Frisbee or literally anything but a boomerang, it's like imagine a golf ball that you can like chip and then it gets, it's like a robotic thing. So you like chip it and then once it lands, it knows and it goes and rolls right back.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I love that. I mean, that technology exists. Yep. Right? Yep. Just comes back to the source. It's going to be a football. You just throw it as far as you can.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
And then it rolls right back to you. Or kicking. Kick it. And then it comes back to you. Anything but a boomerang, I say, of course, because with a boomerang, you wouldn't need that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Blitzen's definitely not the emotional one. Certainly no goody two-shoes with a name like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Comment what you want us to do in 2025. Comment what you want us to do in 2025.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Actually, the bikinis were a little good on us. Yeah. You could imagine them on like hot chicks. Oh my God. You could sniff them. You could sniff them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Also, it's insane how much shit is going on. We're going to go strangle our coworkers. Comment how much money you have in your bank account.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
He's going to rob you. Don't do it. All right, love you guys. Bye.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Yeah, like 20 minutes ago. And my bike was like two, like right next to it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Are you offended that he thought your bike wasn't as cool?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
no because i i've strategically been everyone just kind of leaves them in this front walkway that is kind of dangerous i've thought about that but i always put mine around the corner so it's like you can't see it unless you walked all the way down towards our office so security guys were here yeah they're here installing the security system when the guy stole it this is like the last day that the guy could have stolen yeah so is the front thing gonna work now
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I think so, yeah. Because so far we just had the gate to our office just wide open. Speaking of nightmares in this office, did you hear what happened to my Secret Santa? The nightmare before Christmas? Before Secret Santa?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Spent a couple hours setting up Secret Santa. Was very excited about it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
uh you know filled out everyone's names had a random generator everything was going great and i'm in the secret santa so i needed a party who is not in it to send the person who got me that they got me okay so that was um so that i wouldn't know pretty pretty standard stuff send out the find out who it is send out the text we're good to go um
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I then proceeded to tell everyone else who they had without like looking at it, just copy and pasting. And I was pretty sure I had it all buttoned up. When you just know based on who you know, like I had the person write everything and then I just sent them without looking at it. So like, I don't even know who you guys have. Like I did for a split second and then I just forgot it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Immediately forgot it. And I hadn't like, I was purposely not doing the math so I wouldn't see like who was missing, whatever. And you see everyone's name like at least once. Yeah. So it's like, I just wouldn't have even noticed. And I sent out a company-wide Slack that said, hey, if you haven't heard who your person is, Let me know and we'll get it squared away.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
The person who was supposed to receive a text then said, I haven't heard yet. And I still didn't know who it was. Maybe I was like, I just forgot this person. Went to the person who was supposed to send it out. I go, hey, do you know who this person got? He goes, oh yeah, you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
No, he sent it to me individually, like, hey, I hadn't heard who I had gotten yet. He was the only person that I hadn't heard. And then who did you go to ask? The person who I had, Lawler. So Lawler was supposed to tell that. He was supposed to tell that person, and he didn't.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
But it's the best. I'm just kidding. It's literally the best person I could have gotten. Why do you know that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
She knows who I am. No, she doesn't. I saw it in your eyes. But I got the best person in our company, and now it's ruined. You got me? No. You got me? Literally the best person that could get me a gift. Rick? Yeah. Really? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
no shit sorry pissing shit guys it's been like a minute don't get vulgar already we have oh it's gonna hurt like the youtube algorithm yeah well and we have like the bleep what will said it tasted like yeah yeah bleep it and replace it with this sunshine and rainbows uh do you guys want to hear something i made up this weekend yeah isn't that kind of our whole thing Yeah, kind of. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Do you guys not wear jerseys? We do. We have t-shirts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
What are the shirts? They just have numbers, and they have the league name on the front. Oh, nice. Oh, the league provides them. Yeah. It's a pretty buttoned up league. I mean, you pay like $80 or something. Yeah, but like, yeah. It's good. There's still someone that did that. We're in the playoffs tonight.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
If we win, it's the quarterfinals and semifinals. We win the first game, then we play the semifinal right after. Oh, hell yeah. So we could be in the championship. I'm number 87. All of our people have to. You get to pick your numbers. This league sounds extremely buttoned up. Dude, you should do the next one. Do you guys want to hear an impression I've been working on? Sure. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Practical Joker. It's Practical Joker. This is Murr. Okay, go. It's Trump announcing that they're building a bridge to Terabithia.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
Me and Michelle visited Terabithia on a... I can't do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
I'm tired of all these freaking Terabs. Now go to George Bush. I'm tired of all these Terabs. I'm tired of all these Terabs. When I was at Yale, I went to school with a Terab. I went to Terab. He wore this cloth on his head, and we said, what is that for? He said, it's my... No, I'm doing Franklin Pierce. Okay. It's terrible. You know what Franklin Pierce sounds like? It might sound like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
But I was soundly sleeping. Oh, baby, we're going to Terabithia. That's Dick Vitale.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the christmas kiss heard round the world
i was soundly sleeping the other night and i woke up i made myself laugh in my sleep so hard that i woke up and it was uh it was trump i just had a dream that that we were building a bridge to terabithia and that's fine announcing it and it was the hardest i've laughed in a while yeah i gotta write a book about this have you seen british terabithia i've yeah read it and seen it it's a book yeah there's like a book we had to read in school i think bridge to terabithia um
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we auditioned for a reality dating show w/ nut
So he says he's got a talent that we all need to see. Nice. All that he needed was a mail-in from me. Well, I think that he might be crazy, but he's piqued my curiosity. So go ahead and... Wow, nice slice. That was a good slice, man. I said, oh man, that's a nice slice. He made a good slice, man. Y'all go make your own good slices with some of those wonderful roadside melons.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
We announce it and it's just clearly not us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Oh, yeah. So they were out. Cake factory burned in the fires. It's kind of insensitive.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
The cleaning lady came up to me today. It was like all of our clientele was in the Palisades.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Really? Which is just a thing I never thought about. Obviously, it's horrible that things burn out, but it's affecting people who didn't even... They were like, yeah, you guys are our only... I guess they'll be more diligent here, but... That's a bummer. That's horrible. Yeah, I read there was an article in the LA Times about alt profiling a bunch of nannies and... Oh my god, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Because there was all these rich people who employed a lot of people. Like landscapers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Did you see Caitlin Clark's stalker in court? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
She starts beating the brakes off of us. The brakes off. Also, can we, like, not go to Mars? We can, yeah. No, no, no, but, like, a human would, like, crush them. Like, wouldn't your, like, knees break?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
No. You just have to eat... You just use your own poop to make plants, and then you're fine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Oh, maybe. I don't know. We can't breathe on the moon. We weren't there. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And then who looks like me? Stetson Bennett in high school. Stetson Bennett. That would actually be kind of an awesome pod.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
What's there? It's just like Nevada, right? Yeah, I think there's... I don't know. Nothing, probably. I...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Dry riverbeds. It's literally just Nevada.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I don't know. I guess my vision's gone. That would be funny if we just used it as another place for Bed MGM to be. Yeah, that'd be awesome. We could build the next Vegas and it's all one plant. The dealers have like four heads. They all have four heads. They're just like us. Just like us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah. I mean... Yeah. I could see them like... They're not like currently erupting. Yeah. What kind of games would be at a Martian casino? A Martian casino would have... It's like, dude, I hit it big in Scorps last night. Yeah. Yeah, I don't... It's like a 12-sided dice and... Slonk machines. You hit the jackpot and a bunch of goo comes out. The guy next to you is like, no, that is valuable stuff.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Is there oil on Mars? Can you Google if there's oil on Mars? I don't think so. Did you know, apparently, there's so much gold on asteroids and stuff that if we were able to, like meteors or whatever, that if we were able to get it, it would just make gold obsolete here. We should do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I was just talking about this yesterday. Scott asked me this. Neptune.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Because I like Poseidon. And that's like the Roman one. I like that you and Scott are having these conversations. Me too. Just kicking it. He's like, what's your favorite planet? His favorite was Neptune too.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
That's an intruder in our office. Oh, that's what you just said. Titan? I think it's one of the moons. Google Titan.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
That's a big get. One of the cleaning ladies. Yeah, ours look exactly like us and then Lauren's is just like the middle-aged Hispanic woman. What are you drinking there? You got a little green juice?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
The moon's in our office? We all get, like, sucked. Like, the gravity, like, pins us against the wall.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Look at that live look. What do you mean it's not a planet? It's a moon. You think a moon is a planet? No. The moon's not a planet. Europa. Real photos of that moon.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Wait, Europa's a planet? Europa? It's just like a bunch of guys in tighter jeans than us. It's a moon.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, he's been like, He had all night to think about it. It was awesome. He spied you across the concert, and he'd just been racking his brain. He said, Rice Peel Off 1, Rice Peel Off 3. Fuck, what is it? Fuck, what could it be?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Willie, what do you love about triple? You were tripled up the other night. I was. As you know, I've been doing dry January. And this weekend, I supplemented my alcohol consumption with triple consumption. And I had a few triples on Saturday while watching the Lions game who lost, which was a little weird. I was a little like, what the heck? But it was great. It was fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. And, yeah, we played board games after, and I had another triple. It was just good. Triple is born from a desire to blend THC's social buzz with the social ritual of sipping on a seltzer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It's like the orangest thing I've ever eaten.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Triple, redefining the party landscape. I'm mad that TikTok's back a little bit yeah what what was that i think i came around to your side what like that it was once it was gone i was like no i was kind of we need it we need it yeah we do need it we do i didn't think about it until it actually happened uh yeah we the three of us needed a lot it's important
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Got a little green juice. It's delish. I feel like green juice is a category. It is, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Dude, did you see the message they put out when you went on for that time? They're blowing President Trump. Yeah, I was like sucking him clean to completion. They're sucking his score buff. And it worked. Yeah, they're doing tricks on it. Did you see Kanye posted? He texted Trump.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And Trump just goes, I'm on it, Kanye. And Kanye goes, it's yay. And he goes, I'm on it, yay. There's no way that's real.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
There's no way that's real. trump texted kanye kanye text pull up like he posted on instagram i don't believe this yeah donald this yay north he wants to make tiktoks but the app is banned change this it's for my kids no way this is real and trump goes on it kanye he goes it's yay on it yay there is no way it's the funniest time to be alive in history no that's not real Whether it's real or not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It's definitely not real. I guarantee Kanye texted Trump. I doubt that's the real text. I doubt he has his number. Kanye? There are videos of him calling Trump. Recently? From his last term. I'm sure he's got a new... There's no way there's a direct line to Donald Trump that Kanye West is allowed to text. I feel like there is. They definitely have each other's numbers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, exactly. Honestly, it's a miracle I'm sitting here with you guys today. I almost got poisoned on Friday night. It didn't work? No. I came home from the bar and I ordered a pizza on the way. I got hiccups at the bar. I was just like, instead of just... Instead of trying to tough it out here, I'm just going to call it a night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
do you think trump has like a normal number yeah 100 i don't think so what do you think he's tweeting off of like an ipad yeah like a computer or like someone's doing it you think he's going like boom boom boom on every tweet yeah i don't i think you'd be i think you'd be shocked i don't know i bet he has an iphone in his pocket can you google how does trump tweet i'm actually curious i want to know he doesn't have a personal phone
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
He dictates his tweets to his aides. He definitely has, I mean, he has a phone. I think he has a phone, but I think like any text or call has to probably go through someone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
But I bet Kanye, yes, 100%. I think Kanye, he's also like 80. My grandpa, if my grandpa can do it. Do your grandpa scrolls TikTok? No, but he can text.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
But how funny is it to think that Kanye or Trump's like, on it, yay. On it, yay. He's obviously not a cool guy, but it is funny to just day one be like, they're like, we banned it. He's like, mm, mm.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
We didn't have it for 14 hours. It was not even. Was it? Was it 14 hours? That's what I've seen at least. Yeah. I had one more thing I wanted to tell you about. I don't know. Maybe with some rice. Maybe with some sake. Oh, we talked about this already.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
We went to Target and I had a few toiletries I need to grab that took a total of five minutes to grab. Yeah, but it's more Target's fault because everything's under lock and key. So we had to sit by the toothpaste for five minutes and wait. I don't know what your problem with me grabbing a few toiletries at the local Target was. We were going to get a board game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
we weren't in any rush it was supposed to be in and out it was not supposed to be in and out it was 3 30 in the middle of the workday we had to come back to work there was no time crunch i just when i go somewhere i want to be i want to just make it fast i want to do it fast i'm gonna get in and out and you were like it took like five minutes i just had to grab a toothbrush and floss yeah actually now now that we're saying it out loud i'm in the wrong but i did i don't think you're in the wrong i just don't think there's a stink that needs to be made about this
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I just think if you and I were like married, one of us would have to do the grocery shopping separate from the other. Yeah, I hate grocery shopping. It's my least favorite.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Do you ever talk to your mom after a Target trip and it's like she went to like war? She was like, I was going there for a hairbrush and she comes back with like $500. And that's what happens when I go. She says it happens every time. She'd be like, I went for a hairbrush and I came back and I was like, we all have new socks. It's like, why don't go there anymore? We all have birds now. Target?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Do you have a bird? No, but I've seen them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
No, I texted Lauren and I said like, I was so wrong about the hiccups thing. Yeah. It was unbearable. I hate it. I only had it for four, but my Uber driver was just like, are you okay, man? So I ordered the pizza on the way back. Where'd you get? Margo's. You ever had Margo's? Buffalo shaken pizza from Margo's. Awesome. Oh, I was going to say it was ass.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Jesus Christ. It was just the night of homecoming for my brother and sister.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Apparently, it really just was the stroke that killed it, but I think that... The stairs didn't help. The stairs did not help. The stairs did not help. They were telling me my friend Garrett fell down my stairs. No way. I guess he would sleepwalk when we were kids. And he had a really good map of his own house. Yeah. But if he fell asleep at your house, all bets were off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And I guess the bathroom for his house was right where my stairs were. And he just went ass over tea kettle. Yeah. He must have hit the part of his head that makes him respond to texts. Didn't you say he's the one who never responds? Oh, yeah. Last episode. Garrett will. Sorry. Now we are doing a new segment called. What is what is on my iPhone? Welcome back to what's on Lauren's iPhone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I played bird game again with Will Angus and Jack Martin. We got a killer crew together to play a bird game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
When was this? It was right after the Lions game. On Saturday?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I think you should set a rule that no one can play Wingspan unless they brush up on it on their own time. I think you're right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, it was a lot. It was the hardest I've laughed ever. We put on a YouTube video explaining it and Angus was standing right in front of the TV and just watching him try to piece all this information together was the funniest thing of all. It sounds made up. There should be a sketch that's just the explanation to a board game that's insanely complicated.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Liam was there with his girlfriend and her friends and I... I think they were all kind of like, you know, just getting the drinking started. And we had kind of done, I had done most of mine before Hanano. Like I was going to have one more beer and then go home. And his girlfriend was wearing a fleece from Rowing Blazers that I was going to order. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And what I meant, what I was trying to say was like, oh, you beat me, you beat me to it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And what came out was like, I was going to get that and now I'm not. And I didn't like elaborate at all. And it like, didn't. Oh, like that. She looks bad in it. So you're not going to get it. It came out like bad. And I had to just kind of like dismiss myself from the table. Like, all right, you ever like make a mistake.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
As always, Plated is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer, redefining the patty landscape. All right. Play date. Play date. And guys, this is a special play date because this is the last time that you'll have to wait a full week before your next play date. That's true. That'll never happen again. That won't even happen this time. The last time was the time that just happened.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And then you're like, if I, but if I try to apologize, it's just going to make it worse. Like the only thing I have to do is just drop it and move on. But I got to eat that one. Yeah. That's the worst. It was brutal. That is the worst. It was, it was a real, she looked awesome in it. And I just. Whoa. Okay. Hey, cool your jets, all right? It looked cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And I just felt it was one of those ones that I've been kind of sitting with all weekend. I'm sorry. Yeah. I went to Palos Verdes, and I didn't see any peacocks. Is that like their thing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
So I'm a little miffed. Did you go there for the peacocks? No. I just went there for fun. Are they birds?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
no it was awesome awesome have you had the bubble drink piece of margo awesome it was so good um but so i timed it perfectly and the pizza the pizza delivery guy got there like 15 seconds after i closed the door and he was like an evil postmates driver I hate evil Postmates drivers. I opened the door and he was holding my pizza and looking at me like this, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I don't know. You know, like ostrich is like not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Ostriches are birds. Why do you walk right into these? Yes, an ostrich is a bird. Ostrich is the bird. Yes, ostrich is the bird. It's like I want you to help yourself and you just keep stumbling into these. Google is emu a bird.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yes, ostrich is the bird. It's a flightless bird, but it's the bird.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I think one of their wings got stuck in, like, a mammoth or something back in the old days. Right, and it, like, literally held them back.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Like, everyone else was growing, and they were like, ah, fine, I'm running.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
We're like penguin. And I fed an ostrich. That's probably why ostriches are so fast. They were trying to keep up with like other birds. Yeah. So then they just running like way faster than any mammals. You know, they're like, I think they're like the second fastest thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
What? Google fastest animals. Yeah. You go fastest animals ranking.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Well, bird don't count. Well, bird don't. Bird obviously don't count.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Okay. All right. Here we go. All right. They're all bird. Bird don't count. Everyone know bird. Fastest and not bird. Gland. Yeah. Cheetah. Fastest gland animal. Cheetah. Pronghorn.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
okay well this is a disappointing list i think outside of um a black marlin oh my god they haul ass 80 mile an hour fish there's an 80 mile an hour fish dude we caught a what the fuck can you google black marlin i think sailfish are faster sailfish go fucking fast Full speed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Oh my God. Two New Year's ago, Harper's dad, we were all playing bumper pool at like three in the morning and he came out of his bedroom and he's like, He's like, you guys should probably go to bed. We're going fishing at seven. And we were like, oh, what? And we were like, all right, we'll probably just sleep through it. He'll forget about it. He did not forget about it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It started blasting like rap music at like seven in the morning. We all get up. We're like, all of us go to sleep inside the ship being like trying to sleep off this hangover. He's out there battling sailfish. One of the guys that worked for the charter ran in and was like, you guys got to come on out right now. You got to hold him. You got to hold him while he fights this fish.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I'm on the verge of throwing up, holding Mr. Groves. He doesn't go overboard. Waves are crashing over the back of the thing. He gets this sailfish up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
and uh he while we were asleep he had already caught like one or two and then caught like a bunch of mahima and we missed all of it the only thing i got the only negative part which was like holding him so he didn't go overboard and i didn't know to put like forward or back pressure so like yeah at times i was supposed to be pulling when i was pushing and it was like making it worse and he's like trying to keep this fish on line but also being like no hold me hold me hold me
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Did you get like a little turned on too? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
By the fish. He called me, he FaceTimed me the day after I left Florida and all of them were wearing like Mad Max style goggles. I'll show you the picture. Black Marlin, I was thinking. How fast can a sailfish park? Black Marlin could be a sequel to Finding Nemo. Sorry, I was looking at a picture. My neighbors park in this way. They just don't pull into their spots.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
They just park in the middle of the parking garage. Look at these pictures.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I would need way more context. Like, they should pull all the way in. So, like, to get around them... I'll put a picture. I'll put both the pictures right here. Wow. They... Black Marlin. Did you hear that? It's a spinoff of Finding Nemo. Black Marlin? Yeah. Isn't that his dad? Oh. It's, like, blackish for... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably a territory we shouldn't...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
but basically my neighbors park in this way that it's like impossible to get around them and we've had to like help other people get around because everyone's like scraping their cars on the building trying to like get around I've sent like multiple emails being like can you just ask because I don't want to be the guy that like leaves a note I think you should leave a note I see them all the time but you don't have to put your name on it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I know, but I feel like that's passive-aggressive to be like, hey, stop parking like a fucking... Oh, no. Yeah, but that's what you want.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
You should leave a note. It makes me... Yeah, I'm going to, actually. You've convinced me. You should write on the note, but maybe do it with magazine letters so they can't trace your handwriting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
you know like cut out yeah killer but i see them so i should just say something in person being like hey could you please yeah but that is i get that being scary yeah you know it's easier but what if they like what if they like find out it's me that's why you do the magazine thing yeah uh you know you guys see that they someone saw bigfoot
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
He just keeps doing it to himself. He just keeps doing it to himself. No, you will see this and be like, that is 100% Bigfoot. I guarantee that will not be my reaction. Watch this. They found Bigfoot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I like that. I like that a lot. I feel like it's just a weird looking... Can you Google Bigfoot sighting?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Jesus Christ. I want to believe that he's out there. I mean, I would like to meet him. Right. I would like to share it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah. And then all these little cups. Yeah. And it was very classy. We all sat, sipped on tea.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
it was really it was really pleasant i lost i'd suck at poker dude i can't how much money to do this 26 and 25 cents that could be way worse yeah my grandpa runs a poker league at his like you know apartment yeah complex whatever and uh he i guess like taught all the other guys how to do it so he's already at like an upper it's basically just like every week he just takes 10 bucks from five guys
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And I kind of sat there with it for a couple minutes and was like... this would just not, this would be a dumb way to go down. If like I knew it was, it was the, clearly the most evil Postmates driver of all time. What was his, what was evil about him? The face he was making.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Like, you think your grandpa has just always been how he is. Like, oh, you were born, like, a 90-year-old man.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
He went to University of Maine. So it's like... Orono. Orono. Go Black Bears. Go Black Bears. But there's like a lot of like kind of middle of nowhere places within like 10 minutes of there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
They would just drop him off like 10 miles away from campus and be like, you have to get home. Jesus Christ. And he was like, by some chance, they dropped me off on this like dirt logging road. And I just like immediately found a trucker. And he was like, I was home in five minutes. But he was like, I wanted to like scare them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
yeah so he went to his uh buddy's house or like dorm and just laid low for three days and just didn't tell anyone and he was like they started to panic after like 24 hours and like really like missed him and like like word kind of got to him that the guys were like freaking out they're like we might have killed jim that's all and uh he said uh after like three days he just walked outside like rubbed a bunch of dirt on his face and just walked back into the
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Because they literally thought they killed him. Yeah, that's awesome. That's fucking terrible. My grandpa was the king of the teenagers. No, that sounds awesome. Hopefully he's not anymore. No. That's his claim to fame.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
In the whole city of Cincinnati, he was king of the teenagers, I'm pretty sure.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, and he was in a barbershop quartet called the Four Chords. What year was he alive? He's been alive for a bunch of them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Well, he's in his mid-80s now. Did he fight in the war? No. He was born in 50.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It should be hot. And he was like, anyone who's looking at you through their own eyebrows is, it's like, it was like, he was like a cartoon evil guy. He's like, it should be hot. Okay. I like this guy. Granted, I was, I was borderline blackout drunk. So like, I may have been like, I may have like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
He was born in like 30-something. Yeah. Well, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
What is Yosaku? It was a Japanese restaurant in Portland and he fought in the Pacific. My grandma wouldn't buy Japanese cars because he fought in the Pacific as well. It was like the first time I'd ever seen that side of him. Different grandpa. We just got there and he just stayed in the car.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
What else is going on? Anything cool? Would you ever fight in a war? I guess. I really don't want to. I don't know. I think if we... I think I might be a draft dodger.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
World War II was fought by 16-year-olds through 20-year-olds. It was guys who lied about being 18 and then guys who were just barely 18. Yeah. World War II, I guess, that I would fight in. But we were like... We kind of came in late.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Because we didn't make any... World War II did nothing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
We didn't make any... It was just guys in trenches shooting at each other and not really making any serious progress.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I'm saying like we were like, if you like, obviously like the real people, they were making advancements and stuff, but it was like kind of just, it would like negate each other. Like they would take something, we would like take it back and they would just kind of like keep coming around. I guess. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
they'd made a lot of progress but i'm saying like we i guess what i'm watching when i watch like band of brothers it just feels like we were fighting over like 100 yards for like 30 days yeah i do think it was like incredibly drawn out yeah yeah or no sorry i guess i'm thinking of world war one was like trench like the first like trench warfare and it was like you'd be you'd be out there for like six months and you'd you'd maybe get like a quarter mile yeah or something and then you'd be irreparably fucked up
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, we just kind of got into mustard gas. It's crazy. I'm watching Peaky Blinders. I'm almost done. Obviously, it's all post-World War I. Have you seen the show? I've seen a little bit. Yeah, but Tommy Shelby's all fucked up. I don't know. It's just crazy. The whole generation is just fucked up from the war, basically, of men his age.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I may have like kind of misread the situation, but the way what I gathered from it was like this guy 100% poisoned my pizza. Yeah, he probably did. And I kind of looked at it and I didn't see any poison. I didn't see any poison. And like if he did poison it, he did a good job. He didn't half-ass it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It's just so, yeah. I mean, that could happen. Imagine like what you, what were you doing at 18? I jerked off, I think. Yeah. They were not doing well.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
no yeah that was oh it's like all one one shot well wasn't actually but they made no but it's yeah that was an incredible movie you should watch it it's about it's about world war one it's about these like two guys on a mission in world war one but it's all they do they do like sneak some cuts in but they're from like one guy's one shot the whole movie like it's follows them on like an adventure basically and it never really there's no cuts it's very cool yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
yeah i was i watched band of brothers over christmas break and i watched it all under like all in the comfort of my living room like under a blanket and even i was like uncomfortable yeah you know i can't imagine actually doing it yeah war sounds horrible well that's a time shelby was he was a tunnel digger or something so all those like war flashbacks are him like wrestling guys in tunnels and like killing each other like in these like four foot tunnels under the ground how old is he which sounds like my biggest nightmare
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
He's like, I don't know, 30s or 40s. You would not have liked Vietnam. Vietnam was like all that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I hate, I'm like claustrophobic. You'd be crawling through a tunnel and there'd just be like a Viet Cong guy like hanging from the ceiling and like jump on you. Yeah. Did I tell you my dad wrote a book about Vietnam? Wrote a book? Yeah. Jesus. He just finished his book about Vietnam and he sent it to me and I haven't read it and I feel bad. I got to read it. I haven't read any book yet this year.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I'm reading a book right now. Second book ever. How many chapters? I read one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, we were going to do that, and then we realized we'd be done on October 15th. I sent it to my dad, and I guess the prologue, he thought it was going to be like... he thought it was going to be different. He thought he didn't like it. He loved it. Once he read chapter one, but he was worried that I sent him like a, you know, sometimes they'll rewrite history to make the big, that guy was gay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And like, he wasn't like, it's clearly someone like rewriting what they're saying. Like Lincoln was gay now. And people are upset about it because they're just like, you're just saying that now. Got it. Like there isn't like a lot to back that up. Your dad was worried that your book was going to make Captain James Cook be gay. Yeah, because apparently he had heard about him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
He was worried they were going to tarnish his legacy. Got it. Yeah. I hope Lincoln was gay. Kind of awesome. Yeah, I mean, I'd fuck him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah. His brother was the most famous actor of the time. Yeah, that's wild.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And so I was kind of like picking at it. Didn't see any poison. Was like, fuck it. Ate half of it. Sat there with it. Was like kind of ready to start feeling the effects. Never came. Went to bed. I was ready to start feeling the effects. And was like expecting like, you know, there's a chance I don't wake up. Yeah. Woke up. Ate the rest of it for breakfast. Felt like a million bucks. Wow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Woody Harrelson was on Broadway and Woody Harrelson's brother snuck up behind Trump and shot him in the head and then jumped off the balcony and snapped his leg. And ran away with a beautiful girl. I still can't get over your story. I can't believe I fucking saw Brett Harrelson. I will never live down that moment. That is LA for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
That also put in perspective how much money Woody Harrelson has that he can afford to give his brother a car like that. I know. I need my brother to fucking make a bajillion dollars. I know. I think my brother might be a true detective. He hasn't been asked yet, but he said he would if he got asked. That's good. That's a good start. I agree. I agree.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
We all grow it, we all shave it, and we all style it differently, and we think that's pretty freaking great. Not gonna lie, I did think that Dollar Shave Club was just razors.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Turns out it's a lot more than that. They sent us an awesome kit. They got something to help me groom down...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
down under your nether regions my nether regions uh like a shave butter like oh the i like the i like the post shave do yeah yeah makes me feel fresh yep oh uh i got the electric the electric guy baby smooth not to get tmi down there lauren cover your ears i'm as smooth as a baby's bottom down there And they now have the Club Series six blade razor.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It's got six stainless steel blades and a vitamin E infused lubricant strip. So it delivers the closest, most comfortable shave imaginable. It is so comfy. Your skin might just want to curl up and read a nice book after.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
As you may have heard, We love Accelerator. You've seen me drinking them. Look, ready? I'm drinking one right now. It is seriously the best zero-sugar energy drink on the market, and it's available on Amazon. So you can get your own and be as obsessed with it as we are. I know you're on the wave now. I've been getting Accelerated out of my gourd lately.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I had one of the... What's the red, white, and blue one? The Rocket Pop one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
guys it gets me feeling right a common theme with will and i's we we like to do as low cal as possible they're like five calories yep which i feel like i can justify 10 calories at most for the ones that i drink at least so good i i this first thing i drink when i get up in the morning great start to my day uh and honestly it tastes better than than like like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from your mom
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I would agree. Not a lot of people are comparing them on the same playing field quite often. No. But I think I want to put it in perspective for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
All right. For episodes 32 to 48, Rusty was in a medically induced coma, and we used a guy that looked like him and some CGI patchwork on the back end to simulate his presence.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
But what's concerning is he ripped off the... Like he did... Yeah, yeah. He did tamper with it. He tampered with it in some way. There wasn't like a piece missing though. No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I slept with Rusty during episode one. That's why you can't see below the waist during that episode. We're actively sleeping with each other.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Oh, is that when you caked it? I caked it against my ass. Boom. All right, new segment.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
There are also no clips. This is all long-form.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Will all the time will bring food in his bed and then fall asleep before he can eat it and roll on top of it. It looks like a murder scene. Although I do think it's exclusively tied to drinking usually. So I haven't had this in a while. That's good. The lasagna one literally looked like someone shot you in the chest. Lasagna was probably the worst one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Charcuterie was bad just because there were so many moving parts. There was like grapes in it too. Oh, waffle. I still think Waffle House was the worst.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
That was in Athens, Georgia. Yeah, I fell asleep on top of my Waffle House.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
i mean i don't i fell asleep and then rolled over i guess i don't know but i thought i was gonna get like fined a million dollars by the hotel but thankfully i was able to clean most of it off uh at a waffle house in florida i watched a guy get mugged and no one did anything to stop it outside the waffle house that's what that's the waffle house at the wall house in charleston that guy uh the the one i used to go to in high school the boeing whistleblower shot himself in the parking lot oh we shot himself
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
He was murdered by Boeing because he was about to testify. Yeah. Love Boeing. I used to go to Waffle House and get waffles and late night snacks and stuff with my friends in high school.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It was just all the things together suggested poisoning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
did i ever tell you about when i got pulled over for drinking and driving no it was just reminiscent because my buddy ben is visiting right now and i was with him i didn't drink and drive for the record but i was okay i maybe misphrased that entirely but i was i was going to a music festival in connecticut and we were pulling up and i had a celsius in my hand and i was trying to what's that i said oh yeah i have told you about this
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And he was just like, stop. All right, park over there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
kind of a naive child about some things and my sister was drinking a seltzer just a normal seltzer yeah and the girl thought that you like when we were hearing about like don't drink and drive she thought it applied to all drinks and that just drinking the act of like not having both hands on the wheel was the dangerous part yeah and she got very upset with my sister my sister had to explain to her that that's not what drinking and driving is
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I think it's a green goo. I always pictured a poison like ricin from Breaking Bad. I'm picturing it's like a bubbly green goo in a cauldron.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, I mean, hey, you can never be too safe. Did your health teacher ever put you guys in drunk goggles to show you what being drunk was like? The cops did it at BC my freshman year.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It was just like... Unless drinking is like taking acid. I remember, I think ours was like you had to go try to catch a football or something with them on. Ours was like kicking soccer balls and I remember kids just like eating shit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
My friend Chris got kicked out of health class when we were in middle school because you know we were flinging bottle caps to make them turn into frisbees and he was just really good at it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
do people actually do that i know guys that do it successfully i don't think that's possible what you don't think it's possible i think you will how strong is your urge to touch yourself no no no no but like it would happen involuntarily really yeah like in your sleep yeah i don't think so i've definitely got a month without coming Okay. Not on purpose.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I don't think you have. I don't think it's possible. All right. Ready? It is January 20th. I will not touch myself until February 20th.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
2.20, I will not come. You're not going to do that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
How do you know? Because it's impossible. It's not impossible. Because you're a horny rat bastard. People have been doing it for centuries. Think about all the guys that don't come. What are you talking about, all the guys that don't come? That's not a type of guy. That is 100% a type of guy. There's guys that don't touch themselves, but that's different. It'll happen involuntarily.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
You're like, I don't know. It doesn't normally have this. I bet you're like the hair of a widow. A widow? You said that to me the other day. That brought the house down the other night. I forget the punchline was the hair of a widow. When were we even hanging out? Oh, Scott gave me that potion at Chez Chez. Oh, dude. Chez J? Yeah. He invites literally the worst bar for chilling.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I don't think so. I don't think you're allowed to. It happens involuntarily. I promise you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I've never come in my sleep. I've never had a wet dream.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I'm not going to do it until February 20th. That's a fact.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
There's at least one 12-year-old that listens to this podcast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
All right. All right. What do you think the longest you've ever gone is? I don't know. I want to talk about something else. Three weeks? I don't know. Let's talk about something else.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I guess maybe you could do a month. You could easily do a month. Yeah, I guess you're right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Percy, Randy Johnson, Percy Johnson and the lighting team. Oh, I, this guy, Perry Johnson and the lighting thief takes all your lamps and stuff. It's parody.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I don't cuss us out in our group chat. Is it when you called Lauren a B-word in the group chat yesterday? I called Lauren a bitch once in the old office, and I meant it completely as a joke, and it did not come out that way.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I was like, whoa, this guy sucks. This guy sucks. This guy sucks. This guy sucks today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
uh the last time i would say like probably like sometimes i'll send a slack if like something happens that frustrates me it's the merch if yeah that's the merch you go nuclear yeah because the little bit i guess i there's some things that i think are like catastrophic that other people don't see that way and i'll send a text like this can't happen or something and it comes out like i'm being mean but i don't mean it should be that way
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It is live. It's a long sleeve. It is a long sleeve, and it's lovely, and it's a permitting division of the building department, which is a joke we did a year and a half ago.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
We are bringing it back next week. Oh, yeah. Send us your- If you have any people that we can call and tell them that their deck or fence or- Lawn. Lawn isn't meeting city regulations. Basically, we're the permitting division of the building department and we will call your parents and tell them that something with their house is wrong and that we're going to come fix it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It was like someone was like, all right, let's make a bar, but let's make it impossible to chill there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
The lady whose fence was too high. To come take a couple inches off the top.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
She did. She cried. The girl DM'd us and was like, I have a video of it, but it's honestly not. It's just sad. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
The bar he invited us to for happy hour after work on Friday, we show up and it's like a bougie old-timer sailor bar. It was like where sailors would come after a six-month stint in the North Sea.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Wait, I'm sorry. How does it work exactly? You don't just be like, this text is coming off this way.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Are you sure you want to send it? Instagram does that now. If you try and DM someone late night, it'll go, it's two in the morning. Are you sure you want to send this? Really?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
The electric company. The electric bill is too high. I was going to say like your car. You have to like heat up your car or cool down your car before you can get in it. The electric bill.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I like that. I'm picturing, too, that it's just a structure the exact size of your house right next to yours. It's just keeping up. Like, where are you keeping all this air? It's going to be as big as your house. I feel like it would give you, like, Vietnam flashbacks, though, because the air would smell like your life six months ago. Oh, my God. Like, you make cookies. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And then they come back in. Or like your ex. Like, you broke up with a girl, and then their perfume comes back in in the summer. Someone farted near it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
yeah i love this i like this idea though i think you're on to something i think it's uh it's like a solar panel thing where it'd be like a lot of cost up front but then it'll pay off over the years yeah i like it i like it i'm in all right guys what is the worst part about uh what's the worst part about your mouth in the morning um covered in blood um can be dry
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
There were eight of us, which is like, if that doesn't warrant giving us a booth, I don't know what does. They wouldn't let us sit down. We had to stand. There's peanuts all over the floor.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
So you can go to the coffee shop without having to like talk. Like sometimes I'll be like talking like away from the barista. Cause I don't want to like, it's like waft.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And like, I want to be like, if I was going to the coffee shop down the street, I cannot leave my house without brushing my teeth.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
okay yeah what is the elixir what is it comprised of it's you just drink mouthwash i don't really totally think i have the i don't maybe i'm just not self-aware but i don't worry that much about my breath because i feel like i don't interact with people before like i get up and i make my coffee and i drink my coffee and then i brush my teeth before i like go anywhere oh i do coffee first before i shower brush my teeth anything and then i come home and do it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah. But I have bad breath. But, like, who are you seeing in that time? The barista, my girlfriend, my roommates.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
The girlfriend one is the one that makes sense. Yeah. But I also talk to the barista. But you're getting your mouth so close she can smell your breath? She's like, how was your morning? I'm like, good. How close are you to the barista? There's like a countertop in between us. Yeah, she's not going to smell your breath across the counter. She might. It's rank in the morning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I got to get a whiff of your breath next time. Next time we're sleeping together?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Like in a hotel room? Not sexually, Lauren. Jesus. We could do a test in the morning where I'll see how far away. You'll literally vomit. My breath smells like roadkill in the morning. Is that because you eat roadkill? You know when your dog rolls around and they come and you're like, oh! What could that possibly be? That's what it smells like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I used to eat those tabs, you know, the little tape?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
but it wasn't but they wouldn't let us sit down and like it was all like stuffy in there and like there also it wasn't like there was like a line to sit down like there was no one at any of the tables there was no one at any of the booths and the woman was like we were like yeah we'll order food and she was like no you can eat at the bar
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, those things are gas. I used to eat that like it was my job. It'd give me a headache. I'd be walking around like buzzed. All right. You want to hear mine? Yep. This is called the Image Protector. So we already know they're looking at everyone's phones and everything. Who's they? The NSA? The government or the companies that we... The Chinese?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
The Apple, the Chinese, the government, the Net and Yahoo. Who knows? They're all looking at our phones. Net and Yahoo are doing it? Yeah. Anyway, Yoohoo, Chocolate Milk probably looks at it too. The Nets. Okay, anyway.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
what am i saying the image protector i know what it is so it can it compiles every photo that you're in on other people's phones it's an app you get and then you can swipe through and approve their existence so that you can control if something like because if you take like a horrible photo of me i can't delete that yeah i'll never know and then you could post that someday and then it's like oh god what
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
So it's yeah. But Lauren would you like Lauren like scrolls through the pictures that I have of the three of us and like only keeps the good ones. Right. What if I look good in one and Lauren looks like well the image protector would show you that one and then you could save it yourself too. Wouldn't that just cancel each other out? Like if I like it, but Lauren hates it, who gets to keep it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
No one can have a photo of you that you don't like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It's like, yeah. If we start doing really, really well, there's people that could take us down a couple pegs. I'm worried there's a picture of my butt on... There are many pictures of my butt. I'm worried there's a picture of my butt online. On the web. Speaking of pictures, last night, I'll put it right here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
that's awesome it was awesome but it was like now the whole restaurant like wants one and like yeah you could tell he didn't he was like he was like reading through the desserts it was like a verbal menu and he kind of skipped over that one because he like clearly wanted you to get like the cannolis or whatever that you just like bring to you yeah we're like you know we'll do this sunday and he's like fuck
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
we were like we can't we're all did they have reservations i guess i don't know it was a whole well i looked it up because i i didn't know what this bar was and it said that it was a famous like old time steakhouse yeah like the food is like nice uh it was a huge misguided it was his fault it was i don't think the place sucks necessarily i think it'd be cool for like a little it wasn't it wasn't conducive to what we were trying yeah but for chilling and hanging out
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
he came back with this giant card made it in front of us and it was like the size of the hole it was like this the sundae was like this big it was in like a cup this big was it ospy oh nice in uh brenwood and uh isn't there one here too there is one here and uh this is this ospy used to be jemma jemma demar but now it's ospy um jemma demar it is an offshoot of ospy but more seafood
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
We were eating because at the bottom there was a cake. So we were kind of not paying attention to the ice cream and trying to get to the bottom.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
We were dripping it all over the table, and I tried to clean it up with the napkins, but the napkins weren't, like, absorbent, so it just smeared it everywhere.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
No, no, no, no. We'll put a picture of us with it. Bro, that is not what you described at all. Dude, your hands were this far apart.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
There's a Tres Leches cake at the bottom. But look at it like next to us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I think that looks delicious, but that is not what you described.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It's the size of my head. I exaggerate. It's the size of my head. You didn't think she was going to pull up receipts like that? No, I didn't. I didn't think it was going to be that easy to find online. The story is not as cool if it's a normal size sundae. I mean, it still looks unreal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Pause this a second. You get it, Lauren? Inflation is taking hold of families across the nation. People are feeling the effects in different ways. This is...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
a girl and it says pov you can't be hung over in peace because twix is 175 okay if you asked me how much a twix was i would probably that sounds like a fair price right this dad does not think so he is barging into the room and he cannot believe the new price so let's give it a shot what happened
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
He cannot believe it. I mean, I'm a little astonished too now. I didn't even really know what they go for. They almost got him back on. She was like, there's two Twix and he was like, what? He's never had a Twix. Yeah. No, I feel like he buys one every day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
He's already dressed like us. He's got a Miller High Life and a tape measure. A tape measure. Okay. And he opens it with it. It's sick. Oh, this is going to be awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, if you want to hang out, Chez J is not the spot to do it. Don't even get me started. The panic that set in when I... Because I was the first one to get there. Oh, yeah, and you realized you fucked up. I realized I fucked it so bad. And I walked in and was just like, oh, this is bad. This is really bad. Because I had told...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Isn't that awesome? I feel like growing up, I was irrationally scared of tape measure. It's like when you click the thing and it would slurp all in. I was so worried my finger was going to get like... Well, I feel like that's like a rational fear because everyone gets like stung by one once. Yeah. And then you're skittish around it forever. What about like escalators?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
You ever worry you're going to get like stuck inside of it? I saw a video of it like opening up and like collapsing and this dad and his son like missed it by a hair. Jesus. And that scared me. Oh, I saved it. One time I was a hero. I don't know if I ever told you this. I forgot about this. This was like three or four years ago. I was flying somewhere. I think I was in Logan Airport or somewhere.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And an old lady was at the base of the escalator. My gate was right there. And a lady started going up it. And she fell backwards with her suitcase down the escalator. I was like tumbling down it. So I ran up it and caught her and held her in my arms all the way to the top. And then I got there. And then some medics came over. And I just left and got on my flight.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
my god i had my headphones in the whole time that's what i remember the funniest part being like it was like chaos but i had like taylor swift blasting in my ears or something and i was like i have no idea what they're saying like everyone was like yelling stuff at me but like i had her so i couldn't move my headphones oh my god but yeah you start making out and then me and her started making out and an old asian woman on the escalator yeah you see that video of the grandma lose her suitcase on the escalator and it takes everyone out on the way down yeah going down it's like boom boom no wait
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Have you seen the old lady who tries to go down an escalator with a shopping cart? No. We'll watch that after this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
So they had like a separate thing that you would, it went right next to the escalator and you would put your cart full of groceries and it would go down next to you. Oh, nice. It would like lock in. That's cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
She almost got away. Oh, I don't even think that's the one I was thinking of.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
eight people that and i'd kind of been making a big stink about like this chill sesh since wednesday and uh i got there and was just like this is bad but people were already like like billy had already called his uber and so i was like you know what let's just see how it goes there was this woman sitting next to us who oh she wanted to fuck all of us she wanted to fuck all of which was crazy an older woman
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Oh, my God. All right, look up granny shopping cart escalator. Look up granny crazy moments.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
What does she think is going to happen? Not this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
You're putting me in a mental pretzel, but yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I am a big fan of SoCo, and personally, I like to keep it simple. I do some SoCo with Diet Coke. Nice. And On the Rocks. Ever heard of it? Kind of makes you feel a little classy. Hey, barkeep! SoCo On the Rocks. And then everyone at the bar turns around and they're like, who is that guy? Yes, exactly. What do you think the best place to enjoy some SoCo is? You ready? Hit me. Talking bottle.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Top of the pyramid on your porch. Yep. On your back porch. Yep. At the beach. Side porch. On your side porch. On your side porch with your side piece. Amen. SoCo, to drink on your side porch with your side piece.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
no matter the moment southern comfort is ready for anything packed with flavor mixes with anything and easy to drink we challenge you all out there to find your comfort zone try out some southern comfort mixed drinks and send us your favorites we will shout out the best ones on a future pod pick up some southern comfort today let's get back into the episode all right should we do teach me something
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
but so he you would tell him like i want to be up at like 7 45 he'd walk around and if he could reach your window he would just tap on it and you'd wake up but if he couldn't he would shoot peas at your window until you woke up with like a slingshot that's awesome you'd just be asleep and you're like And then you'd be like, I got it. I'm up. But he would be like flinging peas at your window.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
That sounds fantastic. Knock her up. Like the verbiage was like, I just got knocked up. I don't know. The knocker. I'm going to go knock her up. That's what I thought. That's what they call them. The knocker. That's kind of sick. Were they frozen? I think they just weren't boiled yet. Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Pink, pink, pink, pink, pink. You ever do this thing? What just happened?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yes. She said, I'll sleep with any one of you guys. My hotel's right up there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Isn't that a crazy sounding noise? What was I supposed to hear?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It sounds like you're saying girl through your hand.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Do you know what the most streamed song ever on Spotify is?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Is it Gangnam Style? I think that was before Spotify, maybe even. Oh, the most streamed song on Spotify? Yeah. Hotline Bling? Yeah, that was definitely, right? Or maybe that was... What is it? Blinding Lights by The Weeknd?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I don't think I've ever looked up and listened to that song. I've only ever heard it in a Target or something. I couldn't believe that. It was the most streamed song ever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
interesting i don't know and here look i pulled up the top 10 so we could have discourse nice how many of them are drake and how many of them are taylor swift um i feel like drake wouldn't really be up there i think drake does numbies he does but i feel like other people do more ed sheeran how about ed sheeran as a couple ed sheeran is number two what does he have he's uh shape of you yeah shape of you i'm in love with the shape number three is someone you love by lewis capaldi
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
As It Was is awesome. I feel like The Weeknd maybe. I just don't get... I don't get his appeal. I like some of his tunes. I just don't like... I never go put on The Weeknd.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
You'll never have to wait more than four days for a play date, I think. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And, like, said it to her husband. I think they were, like, swingers or something. Was she hot? No. No. But she seemed nice. Yeah, I mean, I definitely thought about it, but... But Joe... I'm kidding. It was, like, her... It was her, me, or her, Joe, me, my girlfriend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
yeah you're making you're making this about you wait it's her friend's wedding it's her best friend's wedding and she's not gonna yeah that's fucking insane you're making it all about you and you're a bad person you're a bad person yeah you're the asshole you're yeah very cut and dry you're the asshole there's unless you're unless your ex is like a literal murderer yeah and you're worried he's gonna murder you you have to go
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, that's insane. Okay. Cut and dry. She wouldn't want to be there at her friend's wedding. Yeah, that's like she wants the bride to be like, okay, he's uninvited. Yeah, that's crazy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
If everyone else is cheating and getting away with it, you should stop caring about this class and just start cheating. I don't think you should narc them out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I never told you this story. In high school? College. It was right when ChachiBT came out. I got busted for using it. I got caught in middle school. Same. I gave people answers on homework. Which feels like not even bad. But yeah. But I was so devastated. I was sobbing. I thought my life was over. Weren't you the valedictorian? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
No, I know, but that's why I thought I was going to lose everything, man.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
and is like bringing... Cheating? No, like bringing your... Like the only time I think you should like maybe say something to a teacher is like if your grade is being affected because a kid's not doing something. Yeah, I agree. But I definitely... Yeah. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I didn't notice this, but when she left, Joe leaned over to me and goes, in the 15 minutes that we've been here, she drank four martinis.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And he was like, oh, I'm so sorry for accusing you of that. So many people are home for COVID. I said like my Wi-Fi, my router was like overwhelmed because there were so many people on the Wi-Fi. Here's an ethical dilemma.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
there i go bringing him uh very oh that's exciting i guess that's new news i haven't been first ever trivia win however before trivia we were sitting around the house and we were like man we got to be locked in there's always like pop culture stuff that we don't that we're not like very there's always like a few questions that are like hyper relevant to like news this week
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And so we looked up like trivia this week, new topical trivia. And it was like an NPR link. And we read through the questions at our house beforehand. One of the rounds ends up being three of the questions from that NPR thing verbatim.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
If we do it again though... Oh, yeah, like you found this guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah. Okay. I mean, also to be fair, the three questions we knew, we all knew one of us knew the answer to each of them. Like we would have gotten all three. I think you should. So there's no asterisk. It's easy to say that in hindsight.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Oh my God. She was on one. She was doing the Wordle and she kept showing me her progress. I don't think she knew how the Wordle worked because she kept just putting the same letter in the spot that was yellow. And so I kind of explained it to her. She was like, I know, I know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
No, I mean, like I know for a fact you should tell, you know, you should do is because Jerry quizzed me on them when we were looking through the questions and I got them all. You should do, this is what you should do. Going into, it's tomorrow, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Continue to look at that link. And then after tomorrow, if he does it again, go to the MC and say, hey, I just want to put this on your radar. I don't think I'm going to look at the link ever again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
So it was like obvious that we didn't cheat, but I don't want, I'm all that. I would let him know. I would let him know that people know because someone else is doing it too. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
It's not that, it's not that many teams consistently that I don't know that anyone is doing them. I don't know. But also I forgot. I got family guided IRL. Oh yeah, at the bar. At Trivia last week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, a guy came up to me and said, dude, you gotta meet my buddy Brian. He's the dog. Which is your line. I was like, yeah, I'd love to meet him. I mean, I was just not expecting it in the least. I was like, yeah, for sure. He's like, great. Yeah, he's the dog. And I was like, yeah, sounds great. I'd love to meet him. And then he said, get Family Guy and walked away.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Phil and I would go to this trivia in Maine and it's clear... Because it'll be guys that like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And there's just a lot, a lot of, a lot of bathroom going is all I'm going to say. I think there is a special, special place in hell for someone who treats cheats at bar trivia. Yep. I think that is the most fucked up thing of all time. I don't think people do it at ours. I'd be really shocked if people were cheating. Are there any people that are, like, Jeopardy-level people at that trivia?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Thursday, Fridays, five days. You'll never have to wait five days. The minimum you'll have to wait is five days. Next Monday will be our first Monday play date. Should we do announcements that do exist? Okay, yeah. These are announcements that do exist. We're doing two playdates a week. Every Monday and Wednesday. Starting now. It's going to be a blast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
trivia trivia name is names for trivia teams is always a good you can tell how good a team is going to be based off how clever their name is dude i used to have a well we used to go ahead the the trivia i grew up going to i'll go every wednesday with liam rowley at the alley in charleston and the alley cats used to run that shit but we would go and we'd be the quizlamic state and uh we'd do horribly every week but we had fun
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
She was like, I know. And I was like, I don't think you do. I don't think you get it. Because you keep putting them in the same spot. And it was a long-term play. She's sussing out the other positions. Yeah, so that was awesome. I should have done it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
but we were like under eight we were like 16 years old and they would let us into the bar just because we knew the guy running trivia and we'd drink coke and get nachos but then when I came out here the first trivia day was Brennan's and I put the Quizlamic State and I walked up and the guy was like yeah I remember that and I was like oh we should do trivia name trivia team names that don't exist oh yeah we should come up yeah I can't I mean yeah I mean I guess it's not funny but I don't think there's anything wrong with that
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Trying to shut down all our fun. The woke California one. Let me deter you. Should we do our drafts? Yeah, let's do them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
You feel like you're watching me do what? That is not true.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Wait, what were you going to say? You feel like you're watching what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Oh, oh, I know what you're talking about. I had something on my nose, like a crust. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was getting it off to the side here, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, that wasn't booger. That wasn't booger. Oh, my God. One more thing. My roommate got Pepto-Bismoled.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
His car was parked in the street and someone... I think it's an awesome prank. Is that a thing? As far as I know, he's the first guy to get Pepto-Bismol, but it was devastating. Oh, that's disgusting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
The hood of the car is a lot better than the inside. Definitely better than the inside, but it hit the hood and went up the windshield. Wait, but the Pepto-Bismol is inside? No, no, no. They just poured it out on the outside of his car.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
He doesn't know who did it? No, we don't have any friends that live near us. So it was definitely just someone, it was an anarchist. I don't know. You see like a homeless guy with heartburn the next day. I bet it was this guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
We pivoted. Will had to go to the concert. Oh, yeah. And we pivoted to townhouse. We were playing pool. And there was another really drunk... There was just a lot of like drunk people that were very open about who they wanted to sleep with. Who was that? There was like this 30-year-old woman who was playing with our boy Curtis works there. And have you ever met Curtis?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Dude, I kept two of my coolest sweatshirts under. No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
the seats of my jeep so if people were sitting in the back and the top was off and they got cold they could put it on and they took all my sweatshirts and i had like a pair of flip-flops in there and they just replaced it with their own stuff so like when i got my car back there were like my flip-flops were gone but two vans with flames on the side were in there there were receipts for like needles they took my sweatshirts but left theirs i was like why would they leave theirs
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
that's what was so like there was no rhyme or reason to it it was like that's very bizarre they were thieves but they were like it was like a take a book leave a book situation little free library yeah I remember just being like if I I'm gonna one of these days I'm gonna leave the bar and there's gonna be some like addict in a bait sweatshirt
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And you were going to beat up the homeless addict? Beat him up. Well, that was how we were going to catch him is they had receipts for needles. Yeah. And so we went to the, the cops went to the CVS and they could see like a shadow, like we need to get better security cameras.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
He appears to have two arms. That helps. So he has all of his limbs. He's a bioped. Is that what it's called? Bisexual. Bisexual. He's like banging a guy and a girl. Like, okay, that really narrows it down. All right. Let's draft. Let's draft. All right. Which one do you want to do first? Listen, I'm not doing dry January. Wait, do that again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
All right, I know we're not doing dry January, but all... Listen, I know we're not doing dry January, but what are we doing this year? This year, I'm taking part in Cloggist, where every day of August, I have to clog my toilet. Wow, that is like the opposite of no flush February. It rinks by the end of February.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
it rinks rinks reeks um let's see tricks with my vape roll that's where i learned a new trick with my vape every day of april how about you um i'm really excited about crowvember yeah where every day for november i have to trap a crow and put them in a room until i have 31 crows that'll be fun yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
30. 30 days has September, April, June, and November.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Okay, well, one day I get two, I guess. Hunched over July. speaks for itself right um i yeah i'm really excited for march march where every day of march you have to find a new uh thing to you know protest in march about i love that uh noseless november you know about that one no oh you're doing it you're getting a head start
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Dude, I am stoked for Fast February where you see you can go the longest without eating. Oh, fun. Yeah. Super Bowl. Shit stain September. I accidentally did this one last year. But this year it's a thing. We killed this draft. Yeah, this was awesome. My last one, really, really excited about Prune June.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
You have to either drink a glass of prune juice or sit in the bath until your entire body prunes. That's fun. Every day?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I like that. We should do this draft more often. I like that. You liked it? Yeah. You like us? Do you think we're fun to hang out with? Yeah, this is funny. Do you think people like us? I'm giggling. We'll put Lauren's reaction right here. When you said shit stain September, she almost fell out of her chair. Oh, wow. I did. All right. Well, guys, TikTok is gone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
You just know him from working there. He's a security guard at townhouse. Yeah. And he's like this pool. But he wasn't your boy before you started going there. No. No, no, no. I only see him there or he also sells us soap out of his car. Different story. But we... Quite the character. Curtis is like somewhere between 40 and 105 years old. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
So here are the apps that you should keep an eye out for to replace it. POV. POV. Influencers get to just show you the best part of their day. Now every person on POV, if they're a creator, has to strap a GoPro to them and you can tune in and just watch their day in real time. I love that. Data Funnel. It's an app where you sign up, give them your info, and they take all your data just right away.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
So you don't have to do any of the scrolling or other nonsense. You just give them all of your data information immediately. Can I just say outside of the draft, I don't care. I don't care if they have my data. Yeah. What are they going to do with it? I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah. I'm really excited about half and half. When you post a video, it immediately pairs it with either a podcast clip or like a bottle falling down the stairs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
You can't... You know like those... Black don't crack. Yeah. Yes, you said it, not me. He looks fantastic and you can't tell. He's wise enough that he could be like 130 and he'll usually, if there's someone who sucks, he'll be their partner and then we'll play them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And it's kind of like fair because like Curtis is going to hit every shot, but like that person is going to put him in like a horrible position, whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
and uh the girl came up and joe is obviously very handsome and she was like i'm just so nervous because you guys are so hot and i was like i felt great to be like grouped with joe yeah but it was clearly more about joe and then she was like twerking on us like to like distract it was weird it was all around what's her name and where's the bar it was townhouse and she was was she twerking on your lady
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
She was not twerking on my lady, but my lady agreed that we would go to her dance recital.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And she was... Wow. Wait, she was... You're asking questions that are... Dance recital? I guess. How old is she? I'm hoping she was maybe the teacher, but she... That girl left, and my girlfriend came up to me and was like, yeah, we have to go to her dance recital on Sunday. I was like, no, we don't. We're never going to see her again. And then, yeah, it was just a weird night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
They played all the hits, and... Yeah, it was really good. They were like more like jammy than I realized. It was like 10, 15 minute songs. Oh, that's fun. 10, 15 minute songs. Yeah, it was awesome. Like they would just like go long. Damn, are they normally that long? No, like, that's like... You, like, expand the song to, like, give each guy, like, a... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
They would just, like, repeat choruses. Maybe not 15 minutes, but they were long songs. Yeah. They'd take their shoes off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
That's what Mount Joy's been trying to do.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Like the show or the real place? The real place. I've never been. Oh. Really? Yeah. I thought we were together. Never mind.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
And like it was clear they were like a crowd favorite. Yeah. Because people started like losing their fucking marbles when they came out there. And they all took their shoes off and would just play for...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
You guys are going to be drowning in playdates. It's literally going to be overwhelming. We're essentially doubling your workload. We're going to give you a lot of homework. Twice as many cameras, twice as many producers. It's going to be mayhem. Twice as many of us. We're going to have stunt doubles. That'd be funny if the Monday episode was just two guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Yeah, that's it. And kids were like going in the middle. Like parents were having dinner and then they would just like send their kids. Like the jam band was almost like the babysitter because the kids were just like infatuated by them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
They weren't making a big stink about it, but they were like... You'd see a guy in the middle of a chorus and just be like... And everyone was catching them. It's like the opposite of how girls throw their bras on stage. The band throws their shoes into the crowd.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
oh maybe oh i guess but they're wearing past birds jersey at a future birds concert maybe there's something it's like a larry bird like it's like a team that doesn't exist yet yeah it's like the sporks yeah the mars sporks that is speaking of mars you heard first thing trump said was we're sending guys to mars thank god dude he used the word manifest destiny which is always a good sign that's all yeah that's good
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
That's a good one. Is that like when we forced all the Native Americans out? Yep. Killed them and exiled them and stuff. Scalped them, too. Why was everyone into scalping back then? I think they were more into scalping than we were. I know, but I think we saw it and was like, that's good. We should get into that, too. Yeah, I think it was just before guns, they had to get a little creative.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
Right, but it's like if you're close enough to scalp them, you're close enough to kill them. Well, yeah, I think it was like a trophy. Right. A scalp. Ooh, I do not want... Hand up. I don't want to get scalped. I'll be honest. I prefer my scalp on. Yeah, amen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I think well, though. I think they're going to F. I'm excited. You know, a non-Nike team has never won the national championship, so... Like in the CFP or like ever? I'm sure someone has won it ever, but at least since like 2016 or whenever they started the... No, think about it. Or Michigan was Jordan. That counts as Nike? I guess. That's what I was going to say. Last year was Michigan.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we caught a fish that swims 80mph
I guess we can alter it to an Under Armour team has never won it. BC used to be Under Armour. Now we're New Balance.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
Nationally is currently available online. To get it now, go to drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE to get 10% off your order. That's drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE for 10% off your order.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
Yeah, I don't like this. It gets all over your fingers. Oh, you're right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
And I was just like, space dust. But then I didn't realize how powerful those are.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Friendly. Maybe friendly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
And Lauren sleeps suspended from the ceiling like a vampire. I sleep perfectly normal like a baby, cuddled up. Do you know Will smells like roses? Bet you didn't. You like that? You like learning about that? As you all know by now, we've teamed up with BetMGM this season. We'll be using BetMGM lines to make all our picks and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
And then we're going to do am I the asshole, Lauren? Yep. And then Will and I have Greek myths that don't exist and everyone's favorite, our OG segment, sayings that don't exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
I just fucked your bitch in some Gucci flip-flop. It's about Scottie Pippen's wife. I thought you meant Gucci flip-flop.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
What does mark-ass bitch mean? Yeah, what is Mark-ass bitch, man?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
It's why I fucked your bitch, you fat motherfucker. Oh. Take money. From Hit Em Up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
Sometimes you just kind of deal with difficult people. Buy her a noise machine. Buy her a white noise machine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
So these are like, I want to say like Native American flutes or something. And they make this just gorgeous sound.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
Or be kind to the, there's a downside to everything. I like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
the DISTURBING reason farts exist
Nice. All right. Guys, we love you. Have a great rest of your week, a fantastic weekend, and we will see you guys on Wednesday. Love you. Lauren, play the music. Play them out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
I went to a concert on Friday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Try EverymanJack today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Yeah, I went there. You might have come.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
You know, yeah, Oceanside.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
life as shaq's illegitimate son (the dan carney story)
Eight miles. Lose yourself in the music, the moment you own it, you never ever let it go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Club Penguin spy game? What was that one?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I see a hundred angels flocking into my heart one at a time, beating to the pound of my drums and echoing through the halls of my love.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
When I worked on it, this is actually all time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Yeah. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Just like the... Yeah, the direction our country is going right now is really scary, I think. Where we're more of like an oligarchy than ever. And the Elon Musk shit. And the way that they're just disregarding laws and forcing their hands. And I think we're heading in a dangerous direction.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
I think if we all take that mindset, then people are going to get fucked over. People are going to get their lives ruined and their families ruined and get deported.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Gum you can eat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
Wait, what is that long comment?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
oh and so it said like oh it said emma stone la la land ryan got or emma stone la la land yeah will you teach me something willie Yes, okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
That's so interesting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
This guy's rocks. This guy is rocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
professor has EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN after meeting son’s brother
That's Alex Fun English. This is a foreign kid, and he is learning English, and he reenacts scenes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
A little bit more love, a little bit more gusto.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty barrel rolled a plane
all right let's see rudolph the red-nosed reindeer he had a very shiny nose and if you ever saw him you'd even say he closed all of the other reindeers used to laugh and call him names they never let poor rudolph join in any reindeer game god rudolph god christmas oh that's awesome it's like a soccer chant yeah that'd be fun to do at a game like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Okay, na gut, ich bin froh, dass wir hier sind. Wir haben es geschafft. Warte, du lebst in der großen Stadt jetzt?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
It's insane. Walking around Brooklyn, you see people with like fitted babies.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
That's awesome. What were you going to say when I was introducing? Yeah, Lauren is distracting me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
New Accelerator Flavor Alert! Guys, National Gymnastics Champion Livvy Dunn, ever heard of her? She's got a new signature flavor, Cotton Candy. It's her favorite treat, but in zero sugar energy drink form. It's a perfect 10 that will have your taste buds doing backflips, but without the crash.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I like the can. It's kind of like cute to hold. I'm a big fan all around. And it's on Amazon right now. So go to Amazon. You get $10 off before the sale ends on April 18th. It's walking fuel. It's talking fuel.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
It's cotton candy for Andy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Go to Amazon, get yourself some cotton candy accelerator, and who knows, you might be dating MLB All-Star Paul Skeens before you know it. We love you. My father was an altar server back in the day, and he got in huge trouble because...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ja, ich habe neue. I guard S.C. It's for the South Carolina National Guard. Pretty cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
You didn't have to memorize it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
What were you saying when I said 97? You said you want to do it. Do you know a number 97? Oh, Connor McDavid.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Dude, you sing the coolest shit. Was ist in der Welt los? Was ist deine Lieblingssache, wenn du in L.A.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Er musste sich um die Rückseite des Waymos bewegen und die Leute um den Waymo wackeln. Ich dachte mir, wenn ich ein Polizist wäre, würde ich so verrückt sein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I actually didn't know. I don't really have any. I think they're kind of funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Is it the Cal Mooney movie?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Have you ever been to Edmonton?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
That is the big city. Dude, the medium city, Edmonton.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Because he seems nice in all the movies.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Steal the moon. But that's not like a villain.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Fuck, he's so nice to those little girls.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
He was in here. Sorry, I never saw him. Did you know this one?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Als wir das Live-Show in Boston gemacht haben, haben meine Freunde gesagt, wir kommen zu deinem Drehbuch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
That's great. I'm excited. Alright. We're the only podcast that gives our guests a ton of homework.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Amen. Because you're not about the clips.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Everyone else is about the clips.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I'm crushing it, I guess, with my face game, everyone's been saying. And the handle on the razor, dude, actually, though, it's like a massage for your hand. I like it. It's heavy, it feels like a pistol grip. Yeah, it feels classy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ich fühle mich wie ein Diplomat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Also we gotta pick who we are. We're all the judges. So I'm Randy. Paula. Mr. Wonderful.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
No. I don't remember. I always did the one that was like, a data bug into my heart.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
True. Yeah, because pick up one is not enough of a punishment.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
That's because your family was so soft growing up. Yeah. I'm sorry, Miss Hoagland, but you guys just, you were too soft on Laura. Now she doesn't know the rules of any of these games. No, I don't.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Chili's. Can't remember Kevin Chili. Have you seen Kevin Chili from Office?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh, I've seen the office. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I don't know. I think it was the... The Squirts? No, the Squirts haven't put out a record in a while. I think it was the Meat Squirts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Sorry, what was the question? I got distracted. I got this crazy phone call. Crazy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Squirts. Yeah, Hershey squirts. Squirts. For context, I think one of the... Remember the episode I accidentally leaked my phone number? I've made an incessantly prank called with some sort of AI prank call software. Prank dial.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ja, du hast meinen Hund geschlagen, also antworte ich und es ist so, als wäre ich in Charleston, der Moment, an dem ich lande, glaube ich, dass die Zeitung Glück war, ich bekomme alle diese Anrufe aus einem Charleston-Nummer, ich bin so, was zur Hölle, und ich antworte es, und endlich habe ich das fünfte, es ist so, yo Hund, bist du bereit?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ja, ich habe die, du hast die Drogen oder nicht, ich komme.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Because then I get, then I'm like, whatever, and then I'm getting a call from a different number a few days later and the answer is like... Hello, I want to order two burritos. And so I just went along with it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Denk an die Tage, an denen du die Zähne brust. Am Morgen bruchst du den Kaffee. Wenn du auf einem Date gehst, bruchst du deine Zähne. Vielleicht willst du vorher was trinken, damit du dich ein bisschen komfortabler fühlst.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
You get fucking hammered at night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Sorry, I forget. I put it in my notes application. Floor fan. What's the worst part about a ceiling fan in your bedroom?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I just wanted a guy to say it louder. God forbid. I thought you said the same name.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Du kennst keinen, der 31 ist? Das ist die richtige Attitüde.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Listen, comedy's all on timing, you know? I'm not afraid to steal a joke and say it louder. As long as you own it. Yeah, you were about to say something. Yeah, I was doing... Wait, I think I was doing my pitch. Uh...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Burn. My fan's right in the middle.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Half of life is trying and the other half is following through.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
You're sitting there and you're not listening.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh, yeah. I know that. It's crazy there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
My brother's in Greenpoint and I like walk to Prospect Park.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
So I think I probably went right through.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Und es hilft dir, eine bessere Version von dir zu werden. Und manchmal nur zu sprechen, jemanden zu haben, der ein Hörer ist, aber auch mit besserer Hilfe. Es gibt wirklich gute Therapeuten, die dir helfen, dich durch die Situation zu sprechen, die du durchgehst.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Guys, your well-being is worth it. So visit betterhelp.com.pd to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com.pd.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
He wants to groove on his own.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh, that's him when he's grown up?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I'm looking forward to totally cracking up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
No, Woody Harrelson. I went to, I was at Jameson's Irish Pub.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
It's kind of a very classic Santa Monica bar. Anyway, outside, this late girl comes running out and this guy is like chasing her. He's like, no, don't leave me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Und er war so, nein, bleib nicht. Und sie war so, geh weg von mir, touch mich nicht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
And then this really weird looking old dude comes out of the bar and he's like, come with me. And I had just like protected her from this hot guy. And then she's like, yeah, I'll go with you. And I was like, no. Okay, maybe Stu's do the hot guy then, even if he's a little weak, you know. And she gets in the car with the old guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
That was Woody Harrelson's brother. You don't know him?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh, yeah. I was just thinking about that recently. Juicester? The Coffee Shop. I saw Cash at the Coffee Shop.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Bills Mafia. Hey, hey, hey. He and his brother are both first-round picks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Her mom produced Joe Rogan.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Das klingt wie ein Name eines Mannes. Hi, ich bin Jackson Motorsports.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Wo ist er? Wo ist er in Greenville?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Yeah, I taught you that thing about Joey Bosa.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
But every place I lived didn't look like dog shit. Mine didn't. Really?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Du hast es? Ah, jetzt habe ich einen Schmerz. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Sie hatten einen Mann im Raum, der das gemacht hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I want to do whatever that guy's taking. Some opiate in the White Lotus. You watching that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
That sounded like you did not watch it. Don't spoil it. I haven't seen the finale.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
No one spoiled it for you yet? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
You watched it? Yeah. I thought you weren't watching.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Wenn du abnimmst, hast du Mono. Oh, you weren't done yet? No. If you step on a worm, it'll burrow into your foot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
So it makes my slime come off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Janine, ich ging immer in den Naturkampf und Janine küsierte einen Schluck. Sie ist verrückt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Zack and Cody are trapped in a doomsday cult. They believe the whole world has ended and that they are the only surviving folks left.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Chris Bryant's personality. I'm going to the Cubs-Dodgers game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
She just said she killed an animal when she was a kid and she doesn't know how to tell anyone because that's apparently a sign of being a serial killer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Oh yeah, where can people find you?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
I actually saw Barbenheimer, so I guess six.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
No, separately. I just saw both of them. I was like, I got into movies for like a week.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
Ich habe diesen Text bekommen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
garbage men hate WHAT religion?! w/ mary shalaby
She says, hey, it's Shaq. Save my new number. I'll send you the screenshot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Keep your energy natural and refreshing all year long with Mud Water because life's too short for anything less than clean, delicious energy. Let's get back in the episode. I had a landlord when I was in college. What? I'm so bad at these transitions. I hit my landlord.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I was thinking about this the other day and it was cracking me up. It was my first ever landlord, so I guess I didn't know how weird it was, but she asked us to call her mom. Isn't that weird? My landlord, junior year of college, was like, all right, you guys, excited to have you? Here's the moving details. Please call me mom. And we were like, what? And we did.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
We'd be like, hey, mom, the sink is not working. Okay, just in her defense, I think something happened. Like her kid got shot by a lawnmower or something. Her kid got shot by a lawnmower? Her kid got... Like a professional lawnmower. My kid got shot by a lawnmower. I would say almost certainly one of the following three things happened. Kid got shot by a lawnmower. Kid got shot by a lawnmower.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
David Wright. Who's David Wright? One of the Wright brothers? Yeah. He would be 105. Was he? If he's not number five, I'm a really bad guy. Can you Google David Wright? I might be a really bad guy. Oh, thank God. Okay, yeah, David Wright. He wore five? Well done. He's the greatest man of all time. You don't know David Wright? No. He's the greatest man of all time. I find that hard to believe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Like, she was unable to have kids or had a wonderful relationship with her kids and now misses the nurturing aspect. She was ass, though. She wasn't, like, chill. She was like a hard-nosed mom. She was like a tiger mom. Mom. That's really weird. I don't like that at all. I had a landlord who had a wife, but he was so clearly...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
gay and uh he would text us like winking emote like it would be a completely normal landlord text yeah like about like the water heater or something and then he would but he calls like little rask i'm gonna pull that i'm gonna pull a bill text it was so fucking strange Little Rascals. Let me pull this up. Last night. So I just searched Rascal in my text. The first one is to Will. To me?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Yeah, I said this company feels like when the Little Rascals built a clubhouse. I don't know what that was in reference to. But he goes... So he goes like, Jack, hope you're having a good summer or whatever. And then I go like, oh, I don't know. No worries. I don't live there. And he goes, will do you rascal with a blushing face emoji. Screenshot that because then we'll put it in the episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
That's funny. He goes, he sounds like a cutie. Wait, is this your current landlord? No, no, this is my old landlord. Like, thumbs up, wink, okay, blush, whatever. But he was... So that's like, okay, I'll let that slide if you're like a killer landlord. He's clearly a nice guy. He was the worst fucking landlord in the world. He...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
He was a really nice guy, but my shower in like week two of living there, ice cold water, the water heater didn't work. I called him. It took six months for him to fix. Like I would go shower in someone else's shower while they were gone. And it took him six months and like five different water heaters.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I actually have it in our office. I should have brought it with us. It has stories to tell. It's got a scuff mark on it that Will's going to be able to tell his grandkids about. He's going to say, Jeff McNeil squibbed this one right off the bat. I'm going to put it right up here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
to like fix it so you'd come and he'd be like this is the one that's gonna work and it just never fucking works i had to take ice cold showers or shower in someone else's shower some people do that yeah bobby was telling me he takes he was like dude cannot take cannot take a warm shower ruins my day it was like i feel like the that cold shower would do the that for me yeah i don't like them but sometimes i'll do them if i'm really if i'm like i gotta i gotta
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
All I know is... Shake the... Shake some ass. Some ass out of me, and the mud water hasn't kicked in yet. All I know is the hottest guy at our office told me that it's a... Chris Powers told me that cold showers are a complete myth and that there's no benefits to them. And he's the hottest, most ripped guy I know, so... That's true. Oh, here's something I thought of... Oh, Cinco de Mayo.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
This is what I want to talk about. We just had Cinco de Mayo. I guess it'll be a couple weeks ago now for people listening. But we were flying to Arizona on Cinco de Mayo. I can't believe I didn't get a video or a picture. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. But we get through security going to our gate. Delta has, like, a Cinco de Mayo, like, spectacular going on. You saw this, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
You walked by it? I somehow... I saw the mariachi band. I saw the mariachi band. I didn't see the rest. I thought like there was maybe some sort of like tournament happening where they were like flying somewhere. So it's just like in the middle of the walkway in LAX to Terminal 2. On the right, there's a mariachi band playing. It's like, oh, fun. And on the left, it's like 10 a.m.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
On the left is a free nacho bar. That's got like a lady of a Delta agent in a sombrero of ambiguous ethnicity. I'm going to I'm going to stick my neck out for Delta and say she was Mexican. But I don't know. I was like, what if when her shifts end, when her shift ends, do they send a white guy in there?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Sombrero felt like a lot. Yeah, definitely. The risk to reward there is. It was great. Delta agent and sombrero serving like they were like very like they were, you know, honestly, they hit the spot, but it was like baseball nachos, you know, like circular chips and like the cheese that's just kind of like a sauce. And I kind of saw it and I was like, maybe that's for employees.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I think Will picked these seats because we were as close to Juan Soto as we could get, and he kept in Spanish being like, Juan, te amo. I love you. And I was in the greatest Spanish student. I always thought that was because there is... No, I was saying te quiero. Te quiero. And I always thought that was like the I'm in love with you one because it sounds like it's like I want you. Quiero is want.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Like, I'm not going to. And then I get past it. And then another Delta like guy is like a little bit further down. He stops. He's like, hey, the free like I pull my headphone out. He's like free nachos over there. I was like, all right, well, now I'm in. So I turned around, I went back and I got the free nacho bar at 10 a.m. on a Monday. And honestly, it really made my day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I like to think that the the guy that stopped you, they tried to like mask that he was a Delta employee. Yeah, he's clearly wearing a Delta uniform, but he has like a zip up hoodie and like a backwards hat on free nacho. Do you hear free nacho bar down there? I guess everyone loves it. I guess you should go because everyone loves this nacho bar. It was very funny, though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I could see everyone else that was at the nacho bar, we were all kind of like, what the hell are we doing? It was kind of like a strip club. They'll have a fence around the parking because you don't want someone to see your car there. It was sort of like no one wanted to be like, it was kind of hoods were up. I'm getting them for my kids. Yeah, for my kids.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I, uh, that same day I was running, I, I've been known to cut it close getting on a flight. This was the closest I've ever cut it. I had to check golf clubs and then go through TSA. And this was like, for some reason it was fucking packed at LAX. Cinco de Mayo. Cinco de Mayo. People heard about the, people are buying tickets. They're not even getting on the flights just to get the nacho bar. Um,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
and so I'm like I got up there I got there at at the time that we were like boarding essentially ran up the thing it's fucking packed uh on the normal side the pre-check side is completely open and I go through show my ticket to the guy to make sure I have pre-check he goes you don't have pre-check I was like, what? Yeah, I do. I looked for some reason it's not on my ticket.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
And so he's like, you gotta, I was like, dude, like I'll show, I showed him my known traveler number. He was like, can't help you. You gotta go get someone to put it on your ticket. So I run to that, like, see, you know, like secret bag drop that no one's ever at. Cause it like looks closed at the top of the escalator. I go over there. There's one guy over there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I was like, Hey man, I needed to help me with this. He's like, cool. Got you. We're going to go to this kiosk. We're going to punch it in. And the known traveler number is like a long series of numbers and letters. And like, I, it was like, there was no room for error here. Like I needed to nail this on the first try. I was like, dude, can you read this to me? And I'll type it in. And I,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
In the hustle and bustle, I hadn't realized that it was clearly a visually impaired Delta employee. And he was like, yeah, I got you. And held it up right next to his eye and tried to read it. I was like, oh, I feel so bad. I was like, never mind. I got it. And so I grabbed it and punched it in. And I barely, barely got through.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
But I was like, what are the odds of the one time I need a Delta employee... To do it. Can I say one thing? When you got to the gate, we hadn't even started boarding. I know. But it was like... You're describing this like you were like... I got there at the time it was boarding. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
But it was, in my head, the prospect of like, there are three minutes until we board, and the alternative is I have to get in the regular line, which was a thousand people. So maybe I'm exaggerating by five minutes, but it was like, I was... I didn't have any time. Well, we all made it, and we're all here now. New Pope.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
New Pope just dropped. So, I don't know. When is this episode coming out?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Next Wednesday. You got big plans or something? No. Wait, this comes out next Wednesday?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
For the record, for the playmates at home, we're going to get back on schedule. We had to pre-record because of Lauren, and then we're traveling off this month, but we will get back to a point where we're not talking about things that happened two weeks ago. Well, but for today, at least, the Pope just got announced. Literally right now. And he's American. Yeah, change the fucking record.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Yes. So why in Spanish would it be? Like if I'm a man and another man around my age yells, Rusty, I want you. We're going to get it on. To me, that doesn't seem like I like you. That was the goal. I mean, I think they both mean I love you. It doesn't mean I like you. It still means I love you. But one of them is I'm in love with you romantically is what I remember from Senior Face.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Another tan white guy, get out of here. Another sexy pope. What's new? Oh, my God. Washboard ass. Another badass, hot, sexy pope. The pope is... I wanted an Asian one. Yeah. Would that be kind of funny? I mean, I thought it was cool when they had the first South American pope. Yeah, but this one's from fucking Chicago and Peru. I think he's the first American one. He is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
He's from fucking Chicago. He's a Bears fan. Yeah, but I can't get a read on him yet. Apparently, he is good. Usually, I can size a guy up. Apparently, he's a good guy. But usually, I can size a guy up just by looking at him. This guy, I can see him being evil or good. He could be evil empire or he could be kind-hearted. And this is purely just on his looks. Just his looks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I feel like we both know how he smells. Yeah, and I want to get in there. That's the only thing I know about him. He's covered in incense, dude. Every priest smells good. That's what I'm saying. I've met around 10 priests that look exactly like him. They all smell the same. You met a million priests? Well, I did change it to 10. Here's the deal. Here's a question about Club Soda.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Who the hell does the marketing for that shit? Because that shit is just water. I mean, they got the best marketing team of all time. Club Soda sounds like exclusive, and it sounds like soda, and it's neither. It's just bubbly water. Club Soda to me sounds like Patron, Seltzer, Agave. Yeah. Or it's like, yeah, it's like, how the hell did you get into club soda? How'd you get into club soda?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I don't know, man. I just tried it one day and I liked it. It's just seltzer water. It's just sparkling water. I hate that shit. Cream soda, on the other hand, reverse issue. Cream soda's delicious. Sounds ass. Cream soda. It's like, have you had cream soda? Yeah, man. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. Club soda.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
They got the opposite. Club soda. Bad. Good marketing. Bad drink. I was going to set a bad marketing. Good drink. Cream soda sounds kind of sexy. I mean, it doesn't sound like something you'd want to get at the fair. Dude, this soda is so good, it's going to make you cream. I mean, yeah, I guess if you come up from that. I wasn't thinking about sex all the time like you. I'm not a pervert. True.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
True. Club soda. Sour cream. Club soda, man. I've heard it's great. I'll never eat it because why would I ever want dairy to be sour? I love sour cream. That's one of my favorite things. I just got scared of it when I was a kid. Like, why would... That's...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
yeah like you would never drink sour milk no i agree it's a horrible again again they fucked that one up but on the other hand there's uh there's like uh cottage cheese which sounds kind of pleasant and that's dog shit no cottage cheese is delish oh really when i was a kid i used to have cottage we used to have cottage cheese and peas every day That is the two worst things.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Everyone says it's gross. It was delicious. My mom would cover peas in olive oil and salt, put them in the cottage cheese. It was delicious. I hate that. I hate that. I mean, I haven't had it since I was like six.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Dude, you're putting me between a rock and a... You're putting me between a hard rock... You're putting me between a hard rock and a Caesar's right now. You're putting me between a hard rock cafe at your place. A hard...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Dude, I had the bomb.com milkshake on Sunday. That was the name of it. From where? Niche. You know that coffee stand? It used to be right outside our old office. It was like a little coffee truck.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Yeah, those guys used to fucking... Those guys used to set up a coffee thing on the front of our stairs. I don't know if that's... Is that the same thing? I don't know, but if you're out there and used to just conduct business on our patio... Wait, I thought that was awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Well, they both have somewhat of a romantic connotation. There's no direct translation to it. So what do... what's like the what's the spanish for because like in in america in where we're american in america you can yell like like love you man but it's not like i want to rock your fucking world whatever the rock your fucking world one was that's what i was trying to say to juan soto
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
It was so awkward. You'd walk through their fucking kitchen to get around. And they acted like we were the fucking bad guys. I'm just trying to get to work. Wait, I thought we liked that. No, we all hated it. Oh. Well, I got this thing called the bomb.com milkshake. It was unbelievable. But I don't drink milk either. And I got halfway through the bomb.com milkshake, and I was like, Sunday ruined.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Oh, crap. Squirts? Squirts, crunts, crips. bang bang toilet bulb snapped in half it was unreal when i was a kid when they thought i i told you they they thought i had crones because i was just i had to leave school every day because i wouldn't poop at school and i would have diarrhea every day and uh and when they're trying to diagnose you they need like a stool sample
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And they wanted me to do it at home. And if you know anything about me, you know I don't... I don't go to the bathroom well under pressure. And so you had to put this thing in the toilet and poop into it. And that was the one time I could not... I sat there for fucking two hours. Could not poop into it. Yeah, I... I got the opposite, dude. I would poop in places I never should have.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I shit in my first baseball game on Sunday. Chase Field, inaugural baseball dump for Mr. Featherstone. And it was fucking freeing. Because it used to be like, if I was in public and I had to poop, I was like, oh my God, the next four hours of my life are going to be hell. Yeah. The second I had to poop, I go, Willie, excuse me, I'm going to go to the bathroom. Went and did my worst.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Came back, had a great rest of my night. I'm proud of you. Why do baseball bathrooms never have dividers in the urinal? I think it's like an old school thing of like, you know, you want to see the guy's cock next to you while he's peeing. It's sort of an old school. You ever been to like Fenway? The ones at Fenway are like, you're basically peeing between the other guy's legs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You ever been in the bathroom at the brig? It's like a two-person trough and then a, like, toilet you would have at home but no door? Yep. And so... If there are three guys peeing at the same time, all your butts are touching. Yeah. But it's also like, why would you install a regular... Any time a bar has a regular toilet without a thing surrounding it, it's like, who's pooping in it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It's clearly only there for pooping. Or clearly only there for peeing. Dude, that... That reminds me, there's a bar in either Minnesota or Wisconsin. There's a completely normal bathroom set up. And then in the corner, there was a toilet with not even one thing around it. So if someone decided to poop in it, you would be pooping in the middle of the room.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Well, everyone else can just stare right at you. And Liam and I were there and I went in to pee there. I'm already pee shy. There's nowhere to fucking hide. So I'm as tight in the corner as I can, like basically squatting over the toilet, peeing into it. And I'm halfway. I just got in the stream going after like 45 seconds, like holding my breath and pushing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And this I just heard this college kid be like, no way. No way. No way.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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rusty and i was like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck abort dude i like somehow keep the stream going he came up and was like dude can i get a picture i was like yeah not not right now he was like he was like dude come on and so i took somewhere out there there's a selfie of me maybe my penis in it and just the most mad i've ever been just gotten my stream going that's hysterical
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covering his penis and he was like dude i've never been happier to have like a big stomach than right now apparently the people that develop photos say that like 60 are like life ruining stuff because like people like take them in it's like sexy sexy time i'm gonna be honest all this all made me have to pee yeah i have to go take a break yeah Hey, guys, going to therapy is killer. I'll say it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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He looks so good out there. Dude, he's got a fucking rump on him. You know what? And I had live bet him to hit a home run. He live bet him in the eighth inning. So he has to do it. And guess what? He didn't. Guess what he did? I don't even know if you know this. The next day to day games, like 12 hours later, two home runs. Sixth and eighth inning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And it's it's, you know, maybe a weird thing for, you know, guys our age maybe aren't as, you know, necessarily willing to put themselves out there and go get help that they need. But it can be a really, really great thing, not just for you, but for people in your life, for your community and your family. And, uh, I can't recommend enough better help. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Better help has over 10 years of experience matching people with the right therapist from their diverse network of over 30,000 licensed therapists with a ride wide range of specialties. Uh, I personally have gone to therapy and it's been really important for me. Uh, it's, you know, helped me get my life where I want it to be. Uh, well, maybe I'm not there yet, but it's helped, uh,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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and i can't recommend it enough so seriously guys if you're thinking about therapy or maybe just have some stuff you want to talk about and you haven't thought about therapy check out better help they make it super easy it's fully online it's affordable convenient they serve over 5 million people worldwide and you can switch therapists at any time no extra costs if you don't like whoever they dish you out the first time you can switch it up
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Seriously, can't say enough good things about going to therapy and what it's done for me. I recommend it for you. So get BetterHelp. We are all better with help. Visit BetterHelp.com slash PD to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash PD. Guys, I know you're probably thinking, you're going, hey, Rusty's got a killer shirt on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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This is probably my favorite shirt we've made. One of the playmates actually sketched this for us and mailed it to us. Yep. And we put it on a shirt. God is a playmate. We blocked him and didn't pay him. We blocked him, did not pay him. We blocked him on YouTube, too, so he can't watch it. But it's God sitting on a cloud. He's watching us on TV, and he goes, this is pretty funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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God's gone, this is pretty funny. I love that shirt. And if I were you at home, I would certainly cop. I would cop that shit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Andrew, that's what kids are saying. Andrew, kids like to go, I would cop that shit. Cops. What's up with cops, dude? Let's get into it. Dude, I think I told you about the viral Mets prank my buddies did on me. I still think this is hysterical. On Sunday, my buddy was visiting, who's also a Yankees fan, and my roommate Scott's a Yankees fan. They were watching the Yankees game. Yankees lost.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I was giving them shit for it. And then I went and took a shower. And when I came back out of the shower, the Mets game was on. And I was like, wait, I thought they were playing later. They're like, no, I don't know. It's on right now. And I was like, oh, okay. And it was a close game in the eighth inning. It was a one-run game. I watched with them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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The three of us sat there and watched the eighth and ninth innings. And I was like on the edge of my seat like, oh, oh. And the Mets ended up losing. I was like, damn, that was tough. And then my buddies just start laughing. I was like, what's so funny? They were like, that was last game. They had been, I guess, playing a doubleheader that day and I didn't realize.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So it was a game they'd already played in the morning. They knew that the Mets had lost. And just to get back at me, they put it on in the eighth inning and told me it was live.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Because we had been watching the Yankees game, and I was giving them shit for the Yankees losing. And so then they went and just put on the old Mets game in the eighth inning and sat there. I thought it was live the whole time, and they knew the Mets were going to lose, and they just watched me suffer for two innings. That is both cruel and unusual, and they're not my friends anymore.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I would have won a thousand dollars if he had hit a home run. Holy shit. On a $50 bet. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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That's very silly. Willie had a derby party that the three of us went to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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We put a picture of Willie's shirt here. It was fucking awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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But... So I... I wasn't feeling very well. I was like, you know what? I think I should... Because we had a big week coming up. I was like, you know what? I think maybe I'll just stay in. But Flynn got very excited. She showed up to my house and I didn't explain to her that maybe I was not going to go. She was already dressed. She was very excited to go have a fun day. So I was like, you know what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I'll power through. We go... And she goes, you know, sometimes when I don't feel very well in college, I would go out and then I would wake up and feel like way better. And I was like, oh, you know, I hadn't tried that. Give that a shot. So we got to Willie's, started drinking, got a little drunk, went to Venice Beach Bar with our other friends, Joe and Jess, got a little more drunk.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Willie and I were on the way there. Willie and I were sitting next to each other. So I'm the aisle. Willie's the window. And Willie was like looking out. He had his earbuds and he was looking out of the window. So when the cart, when the, uh, the beverage cart lady came, uh,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Apparently was being was very drunk by the time we were going to a third bar. And if you don't know, Joe got in a car accident, so he's in a cast. If you don't know. Well, I don't know if I've ever talked about this. My friend Joe is currently in a cast, and I said I wanted to go play pool, and he was like, all right, sure, I'll figure it out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So one guy who's really hammered, one guy who's a little drunk and only has one hand trying to play pool isn't a very good team.
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whatever so we're playing each other and apparently this guy i don't really remember the whole story apparently this guy was just fucking shitting on us the whole time being like you guys suck at pool he's with all these it was like one guy and then like nine girls and apparently he was just he was having a field day on us and i was like chirping back at him whatever
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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didn't really think much of it woke up the next morning and uh i was like you and that guy were like really just fucking going at it about pool whatever it's like okay you know what no one will no one will remember i don't even know this guy he doesn't know me like it'll be fine i opened my dms and i just have a dm from the guy he just goes bro you fucking suck at pool damn it he tracked me down that's terrible uh all right should we get into the roadmap yeah i'm down good with you andrew
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Also, one more thing before we start. You know when you're going... The only time you really see yourself is when you look in the mirror. You're like, I look normal all the time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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yes it it i recently a photo surfaced of me where i'm i think i need to be more aware of like my body language and how i might look to others i this is a picture of me eating dinner and watching reels and i thought i looked completely normal apparently this is how i sit and eat dinner That's awesome. We'll put a picture of it right here. Reels are awesome, dude. Oh, my God. And shorts.
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Oh, shorts. Do you ever realize you're sitting kind of feminine and then you adjust or whatever? No. I didn't know my body was able to sit like that. All right. We have a beautiful episode for you guys today. We're going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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will didn't know she was there so i'm ordering she had made it very clear to everyone like this was a short flight she came over the intercom was like hey our drink service today is just coffee tea water beer or wine simple enough when she came i said may i please have tea and then she was like what does your friend want and i was like willie willie and he's not looking around so i grabbed his arm and he very quickly goes
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Bang. And then we are going to do ways to say we should stop seeing each other.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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uh followed by ways to say you're hungover and then we'll wrap up with rusty's song of the day i think there's about 2 000 of you now by the time this comes out you keep saying well because i've actually been i've actually predicted it correctly there's there's like 1600 at the time we're recording so by that logic by wednesday There should be 2,000.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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If there's not 2,000... If there's not 2,000, I'm going to freak out. If there's not 2,000, I'm going to freak the fuck out.
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All right, Andrew, I'm going to find two pitches for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Rainbow Kitten Surprise. I feel like maybe MJ Leonard was on it too. It looks gnarly. I saw someone saying that they like that you put the actual...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Not being able to because you can't get it going.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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That is, that is what it's fucking, that's what it's all about. That is, I, the amount of time, so I rarely leave, but what I will do is like, you know what? I'm a man, put a pee in the urinal. Today's the day. It doesn't happen after like 15 seconds and I leave. And so another guy takes my spot and then I go into a stall or I go to wait for the stall.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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And then everyone, then it's double embarrassment where it's like, Not only could that guy not get the job done, but now I have to sit there and have all of them know. Or maybe they think you shat your pants while pissing. I like this because I do think hearing it, I would be able... Because then the fear is gone of no one around me knows. Then all the pressure is off. I think I could start.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, I think this would be huge for you. Dude, I think this could be really good for you. We're all really worried. What is it that I'm... What is going on in my... I don't know. Can you Google why are we pee shy?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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why are we pci this anxiety can lead to a physical reaction so it's just anxiety you just have anxiety go to the causes though no just just click show more oh no
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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The woman was like, no, no, we don't laugh at me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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negative experience in the past such as being teased harassed or okay i think i've told this story before i got bumped one time and i peed on my khaki so maybe it's like if someone's standing behind me that's what i'm worried about oh you got subconscious oh uh it could be hypnotherapy oh no that's a treatment all right all right bo you fucking i would invest i would i need it i need it i need it yesterday all right let's hear the next one
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I go, oh, Diet Coke. And she was like, come on. I was like, what? But apparently they didn't have Diet Coke. She hated me. I got Diet Coke on the way back, though. Dude, that's awesome. How was it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Juan Soto. I'm Juan Soto, obviously. Okay, I'm going to guess I'm the Mets. I'm the rest of the Mets.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, like sometimes I'll get there and I'm like, I could get a quick text in or something and then you look up and everyone's going like, oh!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I like it on the CarPlay. It has a countdown. Believe it or not, you can Google this, I believe new Volvos have this technology. No. It's either Volvos or Teslas. Look up car knows when it's going to turn green. A car that knows when the light's going to turn green. How would they know that? Yes, certain Audi models with traffic light information can predict when traffic lights will turn green.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So there's like literally a countdown on it. But how would they know that? I think there's like a... This video explains it apparently.
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It's like I think there it's like hooked up to it's hooked up to whatever system the lights are on because they're on a time delay. Yeah, but like the city is like providing that information or or it it recognize it like has seen it before. I don't know. All I know is I've been in a car that does this. It's fucking crazy.
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I wonder if maybe it looks at the other lights and then just waits until they turn yellow.
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No, but how would it have it? Because I've been in ones where it's like a 30-second countdown. Like, the other ones are still green. That's crazy. That's so weird.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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crispy airplane diet coke hits well because i think it i think when you go up it pressurizes it even more yeah i was trying to clean out this water bottle so i filled it up with boiling water and then i was shaking it and what you don't think about is how much pressure that creates on the inside yeah and when i opened this it shot hot water out didn't get hit thankfully
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No, I'm telling you, I've seen it. I know. I was just saying Andrew made a good point. That video didn't sell. I wasn't saying it wasn't real. Come on. I love it, and I like that it could be... Because not everyone can afford a fucking Q7. Yeah, yeah. This makes it available to the layman. I love it.
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hey, it's Carolina, Will's friend that you've met countless times, but you always forget my name. That's nice. And I go, I go, I know. I go, shut up. I know who you are. She goes, and then she referenced a mutual friend's old coworker, if that rings a bell. And I was like, I fucking, I have your contact. I know who this is. What did she say? It's a secret. I can't tell you. What does that mean?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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She's asking me to help, help do something for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It's probably for the race next weekend. Maybe. You shouldn't have told me that. What? Did you spoil it? I want you to know that there is no, like, surprise party or anything. Like, there's nothing, like, don't expect anything grand. She needed ideas for something. For, like, a sign, which is why you texted me that you wanted sign ideas for the... No. Yeah, that's it. No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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No one likes it. It's a stupid thing. The future is now. Yeah, I agree. The future is now. Hangovers are so last year. Guys, Last Call brings these ingredients that are very popular in Korea. Apparently, they've been doing this forever. I was actually calling. My cousin lives in Korea, and I was on a phone call with her yesterday, and I brought this up, and she was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I know. Guys, it has time-tested ingredients used for centuries in Korea. Here, I'll read you this. Willie, guess how much vitamin B12 is in this bad boy. 66 mcgrams. 66 mcgrams. Oh, yeah, you're right. It is a mcgram. I think that's micrograms.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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the mcgram but it has 2200 of the daily value that you need to if you know when you drink you lose a lot of this stuff yep take a last call i like i like to do it right after my last drink pop one drink a glass of water get in bed i wake up feeling so much better than i did the night before we were golfing and drinking like all day and then i had we had we're going to a baseball game that night and to me and we took a nap in between so i took it right after we finished golfing
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Took that nap, woke up. I was like, I haven't even thought about the midday last call. The midday last call. A lot of people sleep on it. I can't recommend it enough. Literally. Guys, go order some at trylastcall.com slash playdate for 25% off your first order. The code automatically applies when you use that link. And if you need the code, it's playdate. So try it this weekend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Take it out with you. Pop it before, during, or after you drink. Try Last Call. You're going to love it. All right, do you want to start or do you want me to start, Willie? I got it. The nacho shuffle. Age-old problem, right? The nachos. Dude, me and the boys used to do the nacho shuffle. It was a fucking killer dance move. Listen, everyone, it's a tale as old as time, right?
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But it could have been bad. I burped. I hand up. I burped. Dude, you saw this happen to me earlier today. I grabbed this water bottle out of our kitchen from the clean rack, filled it up with water. A clean rack is what was my go-to pickup line in college. I go, hey, old girl, clean rack on you. And they go, get out. Out! Or that rack looks dirty. Let me clean it. Or something for a rack.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Some chips are fully loaded, some aren't. You eat the good ones, the bad ones are left. You're left with just chip, whatever. It's about time we stop complaining about it and start solutionizing it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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The nacho shuffle is a – it's like – picture like tossing a salad, right, in like a salad tosser, right, where it like spins it all. So you get the nachos. You eat the first batch. Whenever you decide that you don't think the ratio is off, you put the lid on, give it a few spins, completely rearranges everything. Oh. Equal distribution among the nachos.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Where? How? When can I? It hurts. That's how the landlord lost her kids. You ever had your salad tossed, Andrew? What? You ever had your salad tossed?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Plenty of times, man. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I toss my own salad. What's the worst part about washing dishes? When she complains. Come on. Meatball over home run plate. Fast down the middle. Dude, the worst part about watching this is you got to fucking, we're still using like old timey methods. Like you're telling me there's no dishwasher. No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Because there's something you still need to hand wash. Like, I need to use this fucking sponge and get in there and do all the thing. Yeah. Fucking let's streamline it. Okay. This is a faucet, a separate faucet on your sink that is strictly for dishwashing. It shoots out three things. It shoots out soap, water, and chunks of sponge. Okay. And so it comes out so fucking fast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You just spray the plate with it and the chunks of sponge are flying out with the soapy water so fast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It annihilates anything on the plate. Well, I'm worried about it like getting all over you. No, that's like the whole thing. It doesn't. Well, I mean, a normal faucet doesn't get all over you when you spray it. If it's going, like, super fast, it does. Okay, you put it down in the sink, and you go, and then it's clean. All right, I love it. Chunks of sponge.
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What happens to all the... Can those go in the drain? What? The chunks of sponge? No, that's why it's a separate thing. So, like, all the chunks of sponge go back down the drain and get reloaded into the sink.
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But it does filter. It filters out the food. That sounds awesome. Yeah.
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It is fucking awesome. All right, Willie, teach me something, brother. This is a fun one. It's a little Star Wars one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You know, I knew that, like, George Lucas would do this thing where he would, like, edit the films when, like, technology updated. I think I showed the old Jabba the Hutt a while ago. But also that Anakin... In the original movies, there's one scene where Anakin's ghost is in it next to Obi-Wan Kenobi. And look up original Anakin ghost.
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Because they edited it after the prequels to be Hayden Christensen. But the original Anakin is just a kind of weird looking white dude. The guy on the left is Anakin.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Never mind, I was confused. That's bizarre. Why didn't they assume that Anakin was going to be young at some point? I guess not. Because that's the whole thing. He's still young when he becomes Darth Vader, so it makes no sense. Clearly that wouldn't have been the plan, I guess. But... That's really, really strange. Wait, did you watch Revenge of the Sith? I watched Revenge of the Sith.
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Great, right? I didn't get to finish it because it was such a short flight, but I watched the first hour and 20. Well, you're going to love the ending. That's the best. It's killer. All right. Pope just got elected today. Yep. This one happened pretty quick. The last couple of years have happened pretty quick, like two to three days. Yeah.
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I'm going to teach you a little bit about the history of conclaves and how it's gone. The shortest conclave occurred in October 1503. Can you picture it? Yeah. Can you picture it? Lasting only a few hours, resulting in the election of Pius III. Right. I mean, that was a no-brainer. No-brainer. Although he died just 26 days later. So that one didn't work. It was like drafting Trevor Lawrence.
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rack is like a in this scenario like a huge set of my girlfriend told me to stop talking so sexually because her mom listens to the podcast but not gonna damn so mrs brown i apologize i'm excited to have dinner with you soon kind of what kind of clue ass name is that what mrs brown i don't get it like the game clue
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Okay, so Will is closer. It started in 1268, which... Yeah. Whenever I hear these like... Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Anything below the 1500s just sounds hilarious to me. Agreed, yes. The year 1268 was a fucking year. Get fucking real. Insane. It started in 1268 and it lasted over a thousand days.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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uh ending in 1271 the cardinals were deadlocked into local authorities intervened so they were just like this is going fucking way too long they this might even be when it like when it's like three years yeah they locked them in reduced their food rations that didn't work so they removed the roof uh over like where they were doing the conclave uh or maybe the
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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So they removed the roof to pressure decision, which almost immediately led to the election of Pope Gregory X, who was not even a cardinal at the time. That's sick. So they were like, all right, roof gone. They were like, fuck it. My buddy Greg will do it. Greg can do it. What else?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Enough is enough. We're taking the roof. They took the fucking roof. I feel like in that time, removing a roof was not like get a couple cranes and lift it off. That sounds like a process. Well, it's also removing the roof back then was like someone could die. These guys would die from a splinter or a cold. They felt like one slight breeze and they're like... Alright, Greg. Greg. We'll do Greg.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Greg's fine. Greg will do. He was the only one who didn't have to pick a name. His name just was Gregory.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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This is actually one of my favorite videos I've watched. It made me grin ear to ear like my best. Okay, read the text for them, Willie. It says, never a dull moment with this gang. Happy 18th, Donovan. I don't know who's 18 in this. They all look very young. That's it. Just watch it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
You go see this so much. Car flip challenge. aptly named. That was fucking sick. That's the shit that I feel like parents now would not let their kids do, but that's fucking awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
impressive it is really impressive but it's also like what's funny about those kids that's awesome is like yeah i think you or i would get seriously hurt if we did something like kids when you're that little you're so low to the ground that like yeah and i guess like you're like you're just made of rubber but like you're so low to the ground that like the hardest you can fall is not not very yes agreed yeah yeah that's awesome
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
uh all right andrew i will airdrop you like ours has sort of andrew pauses immediately and i mean immediately sorry what did you say no a lot of our this guy rocks have migrated into the weirdest guys we can find yeah that was that was like an earnest this guy rocks yeah that kid rocks okay willie i uh i mine's kind of on theme with yours as well so uh donovan did the car flip
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I'll reference a movie everyone knows. He's like, I haven't seen it. And then he's like, come on, man. The character from Clue. You've never played Clue?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
challenge okay yes in a little tykes car do you want to see donovan's future and maybe what happens when you try and do it in a real car yes it's the adult when he turns 21 yeah yeah so this i just want to i'll do one more preface we've all thought about doing this let's not let's not act like we haven't all thought about it when you drive past one of these things andrew let's give it a shot i don't know yeah good
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
for the audio listeners it's like a highway oh my god and there's one of those there's one of those like flatbed trucks that like creates a ramp and a guy hits it fucking full speed in like a toyota camry and like kind of almost lands it oh my god isn't the craziest thing you've ever seen yeah wait the driver walks with only minor injuries
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
holy shit but like i didn't know what i was like i thought we're just gonna see like the aftermath of something no that caught me so off yeah yeah yeah we've all thought about it i agree you see one of those ramps and you're like there's what if well there's an even you immediately talk yourself off the ledge where you're like one that's illegal but two i'm like that would never work yes it literally created a jump it kind of worked i always think about it like in charleston we'd have draw bridges and every time i'd be like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
One day when things are really going bad, I'm going to try to jump this thing. That's the way I want to go out. Yeah. My friend Lewis's mom was a pilot of one of those like giant tankers, whatever, and to get it through Portland. You've seen the Portland Bridge. It is like a... It's a drawbridge, whatever. Mm-hmm.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
And there was a point where, like, when it first starts to go up, you could totally fucking do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Because it's, like, a 10-degree incline, and there's, like, maybe a five-foot gap. Lewis and I are at kindergarten, and he was, like, we were talking about the drawbridge. Drawbridge. Drawbridge. Talk about the drawbridge.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Well, no, Mrs. Brown isn't one, but it's like Mrs. White, Mrs. Scarlet. Colonel Mustard, right? Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum. Oh, sorry. Okay. Hand up. Sorry I didn't make the connection between Colonel Mustard and Mrs. Brown. Wait, what are you talking... This is a bad Hildedot. Clue is insanely popular. Yeah, everyone knows Clue. Everyone knows the people from Clue.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
talking about the drawbridge and he was like you know my mom jumped it like that's fucking that's insane that's the coolest thing ever and i went home and i told my mom i was like you know you know mrs doc has jumped the drawbridge and she was like no she didn't and i was like no you don't understand like lewis told me lewis told me that that would happen lewis wouldn't lie to me like it is funny like at that age like yeah of course everything that you get told is just like fact
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Of our lifetimes, for sure. Really? He was our captain. Wait, go back. It says his average is zero. In the 2018 season. I don't think he was on the team. Or he was, like, hurt that whole time. Yeah, he stunk in 2018. He was ass that year, man. Speaking of the Mets, Andrew, me and Willie went to a Mets game in the beautiful Chase Field in Arizona. Phoenix, Arizona. We were there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
No, it has a huge... It's like a big 18-millimeter, but it has a tank under it. Or it has a huge gap under it. Let's see it. Crop car. Oh, great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
do it dude please do it I've never seen a car is he gonna do it that's fucking that's crazy crop car that's insane Should we do ways to say we should stop seeing each other or ways to say you're hungover? Sorry, this is a video I was thinking of.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I mean, they're fucking... I've never seen anything like this. I haven't either. That thing's fucking asking for it, though. Dude, the... Those are the exact guys I would have thought would do that. Dude, the risk to reward there is... Yeah, but... If you hit that, those things are probably like a million dollars.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
It's like you would like spin out and probably get run over by it too. You'd probably kill all three of you. Yeah. All right, Willie. Or actually, Andrew, would you like us to do ways to say we should stop seeing each other or ways to say you're hungover first?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
All right. Are you making fun of me? I was going to see how long I could go. I wasn't trying to make fun of you. These are ways to say you're hungover. I've been compromised. I'm in debt to the beer man and interest rates are high. I think the devil spiked my drink last night. I wet my bed, now I gotta lay in it. I'm in low power mode. I'm Karate Master Tai Hung right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
The only time... It's a movie too, actually. The only time I... I used to babysit a kid with Down syndrome and he was really into Clue and Risk. And...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Who filled my brain with mud? Um... I've been hit. Who puked in my sink and pissed in it and then put several of my belongings in it and now they all stink and reek so much. I was buying what Mr. Booze Man was selling last night. I think that was five. That was five. Cool. All right. These are ways to tell someone that you should stop seeing each other. I think we should take the next exit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Let's divide and conquer. I'm making you a free agent. Let's reconvene in another lifetime. We should roll the credits. Our long national nightmare is over. Time to pee on the fire. What was your name again? Let's land the plane. Would you be open to not dating anymore ever? I love it. All right, we did it. I'm red hot. We are the hottest guys. We are the hottest guys in the world.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Oh, I got a club sub that is going to turn this thing inside out. I can tell how hungry you are because that's out of hollow. Do that again. Are you not wearing a shirt under your windbreaker? Incorrect. Wait, show the top, though. Are you wearing a V-neck? What are you talking about? I'm wearing a T-shirt. Wait, but it wasn't... I wasn't crazy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
There's no T-shirt showing the top. It looked like you were just wearing like a... I forgot we got the fucking t-shirt police. Am I right? Dude, if anyone is the t-shirt police, it's us. We are weird about our t-shirts. T-shirt police. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
toddlers in general especially toddlers with down syndrome not not not very inclined to play by the rules yeah so we just played his way so i don't know how to play it the right way well i guess clearly you didn't know any of the guys from it right i used to play risk will's way and risk will's way meant it was just you would stack up like the coolest army you could and just go like oh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Hey. Oh, hey. Wednesday. This is next Wednesday's episode? Yeah. If anyone wants to come cheer me on in the Brooklyn half marathon on Saturday. Yes. If you come cheer me on, I'll send you a hat. Also, tomorrow, Thursday, our new merch site drops. We're going to have this shirt. We're going to have all the shirts you've seen before that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
And then we have two new ones that Willie and I both designed. Or we've designed all of them except for this one, I guess. Yes. I came up with the idea for this one, though, for the record. Yeah. Yeah. It's mine. I did the idea. Do you got it? We shouldn't feel bad about blocking that guy. Actually, no. We called his job and told him he harassed us. Yeah. I think it's fine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
But we've got a bunch of new stuff on there, and we're going to have new stuff coming out all the time so you guys can buy if you want to buy. They're on the blank that Willie and I swear by. Can't tell you what it is, but it's like... It's goaded. It's goaded. It's thick. And for you brothers out there that don't like... I hate when there's too much here showing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
We have ones that the collar sits up and it's going to stay that way. And they get better with each wash. I recommend when you buy it, I like to wash it before I wear it. Wash it hard and then dry it. And then that's perfect. They get better with each wash.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
um andrew's ready i don't hurt yeah they make it hurt will and rusty will and rusty make it hurt that'd be our uh that'd be our producer tag uh who's ready for rusty's song of the day let me hear that music oh also will you have a show in san diego coming up uh in july in july so we got some time yeah but yeah you can buy tickets I'll be there watching, not performing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Sure. Should. It'll be fun. You gonna fly me down? Nope. You flying or driving? Driving. You gonna drive me down? Nope. Billy might. Billy gonna drive me down? Billy gonna drive me down. All right. I'll say it. I'll say it. I've been trying to get a little cute with some of the songs lately and tried.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Because my thing is, if I'm doing this only twice a week, I don't want to give you a song you haven't heard of. Nope. But sometimes the songs you've heard of are the best. You've heard them for a reason because they're the best. Yes. So I'm going to stop getting cute with it. I'm just going to tell you my favorite songs, and it's going to be great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I think this has been one of my favorite songs for a couple years now. The last person I put on to it, her roommate told me that it's ruined their lives because she just cues it six times and then gets in the shower.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
A Lingering Love by Fruit Bats. It's fucking awesome. I still think it's relatively niche.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
But if you have heard it, hear it again. I like Fruit Bats. I do too. I think if I could only listen to 10 songs for the rest of my life, it might be one of them. It's goaded. I'll add it to the playlist. I've been trying to add them as late as possible so no one can see it before the episode comes out. So I've been adding them at midnight Pacific time. The night before the app comes out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
If you happen to have been checking out the playlist, you've already heard it. But if not, go listen to it on Rusty's Songs of the Day. Um... We love you guys so much. Have a great rest of your Wednesday. Have a great rest of your week. Kill it on the weekend. We will see you bright and early on Monday. Drive safe, boys. Wait, Andrew. And girls. What are they going to comment?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
And I would always be like, hey, want to play Risk Will's Way? My brother's like, no, that game sucks. They're like, you're a junior in high school. Grow up. Dude, you live in LA. We have a meeting. Where are you?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Wait, no, this is 12. Comment your favorite song ever, and then click return, and in the same comment, have a separate comment, and just tell us a lie. Just lie about something. That's great. All right. Bye, guys. Andrew, play that motherfucking theme music.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Oh, yeah. So I fill the water bottle up. Clean water bottle. Fill it up. Go to take a sip. Straight soap. It was filled to the brim with bubbly soap water. Someone had cleaned it and clearly not gotten the soap out. And so it just filled up with soap. And I just drank soap earlier. If I start acting weird or saying anything off color, it's because of the soap. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I was a dishwasher for a little bit. Well, I was primarily a bar back. Blue collar. But if things started heating up, they're like, dude, we need you running dishes. Yeah. And the one thing the guy told me was that if you leave soap on the plate, someone can die. I think he was just really trying to get me to make sure to be diligent. But the way he phrased it was like, someone will die.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
And so I was like really in there rinsing them. You know when you get a new job and you're trying to work really hard? Yeah, yeah. But like... To do the job effectively, you have to, like, cut some corners or whatever. Like, I'd be on a plate for, like, 30 seconds each. And they'd be like, all right, come on, man. That's enough. It's rush hour.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Yeah, I used to... I spent some time in the dish pit at Lewis Barbecue. And I had a funny thing, which is, like, you know, like, I'm... Listen, I'll be the first to admit, like, when I eat, like, I'll get shit on my face. And, like, I'm kind of, like... I know. I'll get shit on myself. Yeah. I'm no, you know... I get shit on myself.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I had a few shifts in the dish pit when the guy would call out and they'd be like, Willie, we need you because I lived around the corner. I would always end up sopping wet. My whole body soaked. I did that too. They would be like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
what what are you doing i was like the dishes are clean aren't they don't ask they don't ask how they ask how don't ask questions you don't want the answer to that was i there are jobs and i feel like dishwasher is one where like if it's a messy job there are some people that think like okay like the messier i am yeah harder it looks like i'm working like i worked worked worked for my dad one summer and i was uh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I was pressing... I ran this machine where you'd press it and it would stamp a hole in a piece of metal that they were going to later weld onto something else, whatever. Yeah. Simple enough. But when it pressed through, it would shoot a puff of...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
like dust like metal dust at you like a dust puff like a dust thank you thank you a dust puff got you and uh and i was really you had to line up the bit on it so i would get my face really close to it to make sure that the bit went into the stamp thing whatever and seasoned stampers know you take your face off before you punch it, but I wouldn't.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Yeah, we just went to the Mets on Tuesday. Oh, dude, we were sitting on the first baseline. You know, there's, like, a woman... Or a man.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
So it looked like, it literally like, we'll put a picture of it right here. It looked like I like came home from working in a coal mill and a coal mine. And some of the guys there accused, accused me of rubbing it on my face to make it look like I was working harder. And I was like, I would never, I would never in a million years do that. Funny thing about that, a lot of people don't know this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
A lot of people do know this about me. I'm prone to nosebleeds. Always have been, always will be. Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed that you always will be. That it will stop at some point. It's truly a nightmare. When I blow my nose, there's a 50% chance that this derails my whole day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
But when this cloud of dust poofs at you, it would coat the inside of my nose with like a million, you think of it as like a million razor sharp pieces of metal that are like microscopic. And it would tear the fucking inside of my nose up. So my nosebleeds would get worse, whatever. Wait, what? I feel like I got lost in the machinery part of this. What were you creating?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
It's this basically, I was a cog in a larger process. What was your output? I would, I, the finished product. No, no, no. This was, this was a, this was a stack of metal sheets. They would, they would supply steel for buildings.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
So the, the, the inside of this building that we're sitting in right now is there are steel beams, whatever. And to connect certain parts, you need smaller pieces of metal that aren't the giant ones. Yeah. So what I was doing was cam would cut them. Cam was my sister's boyfriend and, would cut them into whatever size the blueprint required, and then I was told we need holes here, here, and here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Got it. And another guy would have stamped little marks there, so I'm just punching holes in the thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Ball boys, ball women can be men. Yes. And she was like, if a foul ball comes, she gives it and then she gives it to a fan. And Will's cousin Evan was like, hey, the next one, can I grab it? And she was like, yeah, totally. And this little girl came down. who had already gotten one. She'd already gotten a fucking ball and asked for it again. And so Evan gave her the second ball.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
Yeah. But metal. Yes. And I had a girlfriend at the time, and I would come home after a long day of stamping. Yeah. That's what we called it. Yeah. I was a stamper.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
and uh and i would be covered in soot and so not very sexy whatever i we would we had this thing called the jack shack i think that is kind of sexy the way i did it i'll put a picture here it was not it looked like i was it looked performative because it was like no job no modern job gets you that dirty it looked like i was like on the frontier building this kind of hot building this country maybe it was hot
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
But so I would get home. I would shower off as best I could. But the inside of the nose was hard to clean. We were in the dark. We were watching a movie in the jack shack, which was this little shack that was in my backyard, watching a movie in there. And started kissing, as kids do. Oh, no. And halfway through this little kiss and sash, it was like, this is wet. This is really wet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
And we turned the lights on. My nose had been profusely bleeding. Yes. We're both covered in blood. And I took her inside to clean her up, whatever. And my dad was like, Jesus Christ, man. Like, what happened? And then I took her to her friend's house. She didn't tell anyone. But she had one small drop of blood on her shirt that she didn't notice. And one of the girls was like, what happened?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
And what I heard... was that she stood her ground, didn't embarrass me, and said that she was dating a kid who was prone to nosebleeds. That's epic.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
She's going to get your order in the parking lot. Yeah. And did you know at the time she was going to be here?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
This episode is brought to you by our good friends over at Mudwater. Willie, we love Mudwater. We love drinking it. We love sitting around with it. We like having it in our hands. What do you love so much about Mudwater? I just love that it's like the best way to cut through the morning dew, as I like to call it. The morning fog, if you will, that clogs up in my brain.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
And the woman was like, what do you say? And she was like, thank you, Evan. And it went up. And then the woman who had been completely normal and nice the whole time was like, she's pretty cute, a little young. And we were like, all right. It was like a child. It was like a seven-year-old girl. We were like, what? But then Jeff McNeil hit a foul ball. She scooped it up, dished it through the net.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
I'm not, this is no secret, not a morning person. I take my time. I take my times in the mornings getting here and getting my life together. And mud water has been a really cool way to kind of cut through that morning fog, but without getting like the jitters and stuff that caffeine can give you. So I can't say enough good things.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i hit my barista with my car
It's a cozy mix of cacao, chai, turmeric, and adaptogenic mushrooms to help you feel focused and balanced, not wired. Every single ingredient in Mudwaters products are 100% USDA certified organic, non-GMO, gluten-free, vegan, and kosher. There's also zero sugar and no sweeteners added. Guys, each ingredient in Mudwaters serves a purpose.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
As always, Played It is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining the party landscape. Have you ever browsed in incognito mode? It's probably not as incognito as you think. Google recently settled a $5 billion lawsuit after being accused of secretly tracking users in incognito mode. Google's defense? Incognito mode does not mean invisible.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I know. I had a feeling. And I know it's easy in hindsight to be like... Yeah, you did snipe it. But I have... I think even... Probably not publicly, but I've been saying it for a year. I think that guy's a nut job.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's gotten blonder. I don't know how that's possible. It's way lighter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's kind of the same thing as like, if you get invited to something fancy. Yeah. You like shave and you get a haircut that like you wouldn't normally have. And it's like, oh, now I'm not even like me. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I think just maybe keep it. I know. But also, do you like touch yours? How do you mean? Yeah, I touch it sometimes. I feel like I do this too. You do that a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
You twist. Me? Well, you used to at least. I used to. My problem was I would bite it. I want to bite yours sometimes. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
have you seen these girls that have boyfriends with beards who everyone's gonna get like beard burn on their face and it literally looks like someone rubbed a it looks like they took their face and put it on like a sand grinder a sand blaster pull up girls with beard burn girls with beard just put wait can you do girls with beard first I wanna see something yeah you see this isn't that horrible that's from like hooking up from like making out with a guy who has like a rough beard
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
There were girls... I remember a girl showed up to one of my classes with one time, but it was like a girl that... I guess I just hadn't pictured hooking up with guys before. And it was like, oh, I'm not. Like, Macy's getting it a little bit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I think he just has... I actually feel bad. I think he just has, like, bipolar disorder or something. Like, I don't know if it's... Yeah, he's got something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
oh nice king's wine all day yeah yeah like i feel like that's better than anything i would make i don't think also i don't think anyone's expecting me to like no but what you need to do is you get little cards you know like do your parents sometimes put like cards in front of the food if it's like set up like buffet style you'd like go whatever there's like seven of us what okay yeah but it's you should you should get a card and put like will's will's homemade will's homemade rolls
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I was thinking about this the other day, and maybe this is completely incorrect, but I need like bigger brains than mine to explain it to me. Thank God you got two huge ones here. I will weigh myself before and after a meal sometimes. Yeah. And I weigh more than the food weighed. How is that possible?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
No, no, no. If I was like 180 pounds when I ate the meal and then I eat a bowl of Chipotle and I weigh myself, sometimes I'll be like 185 pounds after and I don't understand how that works.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
but like yeah I don't know maybe uh you're probably drinking water too water weight water weight yeah and then five pounds of water like it doesn't make any or or I'll weigh myself before and after like a huge dump and I'll be the exact same weight Do you guys ever send those Snapchats to your friends like on the scale and it says before? No, I don't have a scale.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I don't think it's good for my mental health. I do. I do just because I'm trying to make my way back down to my cruising weight. So I keep an eye on it. But I'll send Phil. Oh, Phil and I have a fun one where do you ever take like a poop so crazy that you have to like take all your clothes off in like a hurry?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's like on the faucet. That's just like a fun thing we do. I like it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Socks are like glued to the ceiling. Billy and I, Billy and I were doing a, I was helping him come up with this sketch. And it was like, it was basically like your roommate or your coworker freaky Friday with Harry Houdini. Oh yeah. And he's like, um, He's like, hey, what are you doing for lunch? Nothing, I just brought something from. Cool, cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Me and Billy were talking about this. We were like, I wonder how many people in this room right now have watched it secretly. Well, cause we both had watched it secretly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Any chance you want to chain my ankles behind my head and plant an apple tree on top of me? But we couldn't figure out a way to do this, but the visual of him gluing his palms to the soles of his feet would be funny. Is that something he did? He was just always putting himself in the craziest position and sentencing himself to death and then surviving it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
yeah did you ever hear about the the time you went visited the russian royal family i think you've told this on this pod okay well he no but do it again so he he's doing a show for the russian royal family and he calls calls down their best marksman shoot the bell no to shoot me in that oh i've told that one that one's crazy too but he goes he asked the marksman to shoot at his head
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
and the marksman does it and when the smoke clears the bullets between his teeth and how he did it was when they're loading the bullet down there was a magnet on the end of the rod and so they watch him load it but then when he pulled the rod back out he had to trust that that magnet was going to hold on to the bullet got it and so when he fired it was there was nothing in the magnet the bullet was in his that's pretty good crazy um
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But I always think it's funny. If you get a bloody nose as an adult, it's so much less embarrassing because you like know how to like, you're not worried about like ridicule. Like I remember when I was a kid, like getting a bloody nose in class was like, oh my God, my life is like over. I got one at the bar the other day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
and everyone's like yeah no everyone at the table was like dude i know right like it's been so dry out and you were like oh i wish you guys wish everyone was like this when we were like kids yeah i don't think everybody knows this ever everyone everyone at the table was like rallying around me being like being like dude i know dude i know like dude i've been getting them all week yeah like yeah everyone's really supportive about this that's cool
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I got a hilarious text from a Texas kid while you were there. He was like, Texas student texted me. We had met him last year and he was like, Hey man, Will's here. Like, are you, are you going to make your way down? And I was like, no, dude, unfortunately, I had something to do this weekend. And I was like, where do I know this kid from?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It was the kid that harbored me after I pantsed the Uber driver. Have you told this story on the pod? I don't know. I don't think so. Because we weren't allowed to for legal reasons. Have I told you the story, Lauren?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Were you with me? I was with you earlier in the night. And then you went off with these kids. I met up with this ragtag group of kids. And we were going somewhere in an Uber. And the Uber driver was like talking smack or like I was talking smack. For some reason, like by the end of the Uber, we were both ready to like fight each other.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And he gets out of the Uber when he dropped us off and like squared up to like fight me. And like, I don't know how to fight. And so I pantsed him, I pulled his pants around, his cargo shorts around his ankles and like completely immobilized him. And we like ran off. He like kind of saw the apartment that I ran into or the house that I ran into.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And so he called the cops and was like, I know this fucking kid's in there. And this kid just went to bat for me and was like, no, I've never seen that guy in my fucking life. He's not in here. He harbored a fugitive.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I mean, I essentially assaulted him. Hey, I don't think you can just... He was in the right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But he... Yeah, for like an hour, the cops are outside. I think at some point they came into the house and like every kid there looks like me. So it was like impossible to be like, it was just like, I don't know. He was like white and had like a mustache and like every kid in this house was looked exactly like me. And, um, yeah, got away with it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And I, but he texted me and he was like, uh, Oh man, like, you know, have a good weekend. I was like, yeah, you too, man. Like don't pants any Uber drivers. He was like, haha, I'll try. But that's funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I think I've cracked the code on how to have like the perfect Sunday. Got into a couple of triples, walked down, had some breakfast. It was lovely. My sweet spot is two. I go and have breakfast and then I have a third. Literally the chillest Sunday, Saturday, hell, Friday night you could possibly have. I like triple because sometimes when I'm taking like an edible meal,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I have to take it all at once, and I'm bad at gauging it. What I like about triple is you have one, you see how you're feeling, maybe have a second, maybe even have a third. You can even stop halfway through if you want to. That's the greatest thing about it. You can just gauge how you're feeling and just stop there. It's fantastic.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Triple is born from a desire to blend THC's social buzz with the social ritual of sipping on a seltzer. Triple is currently available at grocery stores, liquor stores, bars, and restaurants in Missouri, Kansas, Iowa, Louisiana, Georgia, and Florida. And it will be available in Illinois, South Carolina, Arizona, and Ohio by the end of the year. We're looking at you, the Lake of the Ozarks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Nationally, it is currently available online. To get it now, go to drinktriple.com. and use code PLAYDATE to get 10% off your order. That's drink, T-R-I-P-L-E.com, and use code PLAYDATE for 10% off your order. Triple, redefining the party landscape.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I've told you in the past that I'm like a mint guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Uh-oh. We ran out of mint for a very brief window, and I switched to the apple cider.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Which I was a little skeptical, I'm not going to lie. Delish. Very fall. Very fall. I also like the apple ice and mint still kind of my favorite, but right now, you know, I'm polishing off a tin of the eight milligram apple cider. Apple cider. Give Lucy a shot today by going to Lucy.co slash Friday and use promo code Friday for 20% off your first order.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Again, that's Lucy.co slash Friday and use promo code Friday to save 20% on your first order. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. One of my hometown friends was telling me this story. Like, did you guys have any, like, Like, I feel like we don't have drama anymore on, like, a grand scale as, like, adults. You know what I mean?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Like, your life... Like, with your... Yeah, yeah. You just, like, you surround yourself with, like, kind of, like, drama-less people. And, like, there aren't, like, moms that, like, feed into it the way, like, they did in high school. Did you guys have any, like, crazy, like, high school drama? I'm not really sure what you're talking about.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Vietnam. Vietnam. i'll give you an example like there were there were these two kids at my high school that were like half brothers i guess like they shared the same biracial no no they were half brothers man that was good all right um I'm trying to think of how to do this without exposing these kids. Basically, there were these two brothers that shared a dad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Half Brothers is crazy. There were these two brothers that shared a dad, and the dad only claimed one of them. Okay. And had beef with what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
The kid who he didn't claim... Yeah. Again, this was small town Maine. Yeah. So half the parents went to this high school. And so he had a kid with this woman at 18. Okay. Didn't claim that kid. Immediately had another kid with a different woman and fully claims that kid was so supportive of this kid. And the kid that he claimed was the best basketball player at our school. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And then the other kid was also really good, but it was awkward to join... that team because, like, the dad was so involved with the basketball team that it was like, oh, I'm not welcome there. Yeah. So, like, I can't... What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And then... And then, basically, the kid who he didn't claim, like, joined... Is this, like, a TV show? I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
i'm not pranking you okay continue the kid the kid who he like didn't claim like joined the basketball team okay and there was like all this beef and then like the the two brothers like this is something this is something i'm on your side well you know what i don't know what it is but i'm not i want to eat one tree hill or something it's the pot of one tree i couldn't get far enough into it okay i've never seen the show
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
There's going to be like a documentary about his like downfall. Yeah. And it's like, it all started there. He's like this fucking kid wrote a song about puberty and there were too many comments saying it sounded like me. I had a meltdown.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Now I can't trust anything he says. Pat, Alex, Buster.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Dude, we went to... Have you guys heard of Baltair? No. It's like this restaurant in... Okay, I swear to God, no more brunch. Can we just have normal... No, I'm just thinking of it sounded like bald hair. We went to bald hair. Dude, we get the... Okay, sorry. We went to brunch there, and basically their whole thing is everything comes on carts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
So you order the Bloody Mary cart, and the guy comes around and loads it up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
maybe we'll put a picture of my right here there was a giant lobster tail on my like it was like too much giant piece of bacon yeah crazy and then like you do brunch and it's like a preset menu whatever it's like 85 bucks which like okay that's like a lot but like yeah we'll be the end of the world and i was trying to look cool in front of front of the girl that was just the youtube knows uh me ty and the lady that i'm seeing okay and um dream blunt rotation
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It kind of is. He rules. Ty made Will and Chester's killer guy list, but then he ruined it because the whole point is you're not supposed to know that you're a killer guy. Yeah, we told him. And you told him. But he is a killer guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But I was trying to look... The waiter brought the check. Trying to look cool. Didn't look at it. Just put my card down. Yeah. And my phone sends me a notification, like, whenever my Amex gets, like, charged. And I was, like, on my phone. And it just came up, and it was the number. It was, like, a $700 or $600 brunch. And, like, my, like, balls went into my stomach.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But I had to, like, play it cool. And I was like, oh! And she was sitting next to me and was like, what? And I was like, nothing. I got a text. But, like... There's three of you guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, what? It was $85 a person plus three $30 Bloody Marys, two $30 Bloody Marys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Can I like- Baltair. Pull up Baltair Bloody Mary. It has a lobster tail in it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
um and yeah it's cool oh this is like bougie yeah there's like a dj it was sick but um everyone was like too hung over to like kind of enjoy it like ty was like fighting oh this is right in brownwood yeah it's like right we walked from my house oh cool um and we were like we were like my 30 dollar oh yeah they have a cinnamon roll cart what They come around and make your cinnamon roll for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Nuts. Oh, my God. But, yeah, watch the amount of schmear they put on this. Yeah, look at that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
We were basically saying the place right next to a coral tree, where we normally go, is like $20. Love coral trees. And it was better than... Coral tree's better. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
We did have fun. But, like, Ty was hungover, which is, like, very rare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, he was kind of the one that, like, wanted to do this. And so, like, he wasn't fully able to enjoy it. He also doesn't like tomato juice, so the Bloody Mary was, like... The Bloody Mary probably didn't do that well. He also was, like, adamant, like, I don't want it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But I was, like, if I get it for him, like, he'll probably drink it. And he just didn't. So then you drank it? Now, we got some mojitos after. We had a big day. And I watched two Harry Potters.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, watched two Harry Potters. And now we're here. Now I'm hanging out with you guys. It's kind of viral.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
In fact, all of your online activity is still 100% visible to a ton of third parties, unless you use ExpressVPN.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
After the election, I was calling Will, and he was like, I was like, what are you doing? He was like, I don't know, man. I'm really lost. I think I got to go get an ice cream cone. I was like, no, don't do that. What? It was like so late. I was just like, that feels like a recipe for disaster. And then he just went and got a pint of the tonight dough.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Well, ice cream is the quickest. I learned this quickly in college. I usually could eat anything and still be kind of fine weight-wise. I got into ice cream first semester of senior year and literally gained 30 pounds because I was eating a pint of Twix ice cream every night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I know, but I could eat like any candy. It's just like a normal amount of ice cream is so much. Like the Tonight Dough pint is 1,200 calories. It's like a day's worth of calories.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. They give her cash off the books. Next week, Lauren's in like a Gucci jacket. Get the new chicken Big Mac, which, by the way, why the fuck are they doing that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yes. Big Mac good? I don't like the sauce. That's the best part. Yeah. That is so unbelievably foul. No pun intended.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I saw a kid at Barstool today who was mad that he's one of the only Barstool employees who's not blocked by him. Oh, really? Yeah, it's like a badge of honor at this point to be blocked by him. And so he put out a video. It was Tommy. Tommy Smokes. Okay, yeah. Put out a video trying to get Zach Bryan to block him. That's awesome. It would probably work. Yeah, what a weird idea. I was taught, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
no no sorry I got sidetracked I do you ever do you ever wake up and like I ordered McDonald's like 3 a.m. the other night and went to went back to bed oh my god wait sorry before that 3 a.m.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
last night sorry Saturday night I woke up probably accepted I woke up to like you know when you like hear you're like I'm people post gaming at my house and you walk out and then you're like you're like almost a celebrity yeah coming out of your bedroom like and everyone's like oh like new guy whatever yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Ty is sitting there with a girl, and then her roommate is at our kitchen table, clearly just hanging out, whatever. Yeah. They're all completely fine, not hammered at all. And then there's a fourth guy who is the drunkest man I've ever seen in my entire life. He's sitting up against my refrigerator like this. On the floor of your kitchen? No, leaned up against it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
You know when someone's clearly trying to look sober? Yeah. He was just like, that was the only way to anchor his body. And so I walked up and was like, hey man, what's up? I met him like once or twice. And he was like, brother. And like went to fist bump me and missed four times. And then he just admitted to me. He was like, all right, man, all right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And like went and like sat down next to the roommate of the girl. Okay. And- It was the first time I'd seen something that I have surely... I think every guy or girl has probably done it somewhere. You think you're just laying down some solid game, and it's just not well-received. He pulled a chair up next to her in the least...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
casual way possible it was like dragging on the ground and like making like a really loud noise and then he sat down and was like what up and she was like no next but then sorry the point of the story was I ordered McDonald's at like 3am ate it and then went to bed and like I obviously woke up in the middle of the night to like get it out
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And I had a thought where you're on your phone on the toilet in the middle of the night and then you're awake enough now where you're like, oh, am I just up for the day? But it's like five in the morning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Depends on what I ate. What does maybe one mean? There are days where you don't poop.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Why would you, why would they want your parents there?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But yeah, like if I'm alone. I was talking to our good buddy at this office the other day, and he had his hand in his pants like at the... It's just like a comfort thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But you still want to come on, Zach? Yeah, we would love to have you on the show. Do you want to tell all?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, exactly. Did I ever tell you about that book that my babysitter showed me? Mr. Guilfamp? That's what I was thinking. It would answer any question a young boy could have about their body and sex, whatever. She was babysitting... she was house sitting this other house while she was babysitting us. And like, we went to go like, just like check on it, like let the dogs out, whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And she was like, do you want to see something like crazy in the son's room? I was like, yeah. And they were like, they gave him this book. And it was like, for the most part, like a pretty normal book. It was just like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
you know like why why like eventually like you're gonna get hair done whatever like pretty much good stuff and then she was like she was like there's this one chapter that i need to show you that is so bizarre and she cracked it open and it was like a frequently asked questions thing i think a lot of parents gave it to their kids this is a adult babysitter showing you as a little kid i think i was now like 12 like it was like like my parents were leaving for the weekend how was she she was maybe like in college or something
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
this is weird and also why would she be like scoping around like the kids room yeah this feels i don't know what this is gonna say yet but this feels very wasn't it wasn't it was like she wasn't my babysitter anymore but i was at the age where i needed someone to be with me if they left for like a weekend okay and she was just like do you want to come with me to see this whatever and she was like yeah look through some of these frequently asked questions like this book is insane and one of the top ones was like what if i pee inside of her
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
for sex and the answer instead of being like just trust me this is so weird that she showed you this really a college girl showed a 12 year old something about sex it was like a children's book like she was like isn't that insane that they have this and we were both like this is weird it wasn't like look at this alright I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt but am I crazy no I think this is weird like if the roles were reversed and if it was like yeah you were showing a 12 year old girl like something about sex in a book
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I don't think you understand me and her relationship.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But it was basically like answering questions about sex and one of them was like, what happens if I pee inside of her? Which like the best answer should have been like, that's...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
very unlikely like don't worry about that whatever and the answer was just like that's impossible that would never happen you're crazy yeah it was it was like you're insane essentially like you're insane for even thinking that I actually like I don't think it's possible I don't think you could get yourself to I it's so hard to be with like focus on the thoughts well I've done a few times
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Lauren sat down and I go, keep in mind it's like 3 p.m. on like a Thursday. I was like, oh, Lauren, how was your day? She goes, pretty good. Just went on a walk, did some shopping. I was like, it's the middle of the day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Remember when she went and did a rover in the middle of... Lauren one time was like, yeah, we need to be done at one. I have to go walk my rover dog. We were like, this is your job. In the middle of work.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Bird watching. Oh, my God. I heard a thing the other day. I was looking for my teach me something. Teach me something. I love this one. This one didn't make the cut, but I thought this was fun. You know how eagles will grab their prey, and then they'll drop it on a hard rock or something to kill it, and then they go down and eat it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
This bald guy was on a walk, and an eagle had this giant tortoise in its talons and bestook his bald head for a rock. Oh, this was... I wish I had the guy's name. It was like a famous playwright. Like it wasn't like just like a random guy. Oh really? The way he died. Alexander Glockenspiel? Maybe. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
The eagle mistook his head for a big rock and dropped the tortoise on it and the tortoise killed him and got away. Oh my God. Bald on bald crime.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Like, get on in there, bud. And not to toot my own horn, caught a couple passes from Johnny Manziel. True. Only dropped one and I punted a ball back to him 60 yards and he caught it with one hand. That's so sick. But, yeah. Check out his pod. His new pod, Glory Days. He's had Greg Oden on. Matt Leinart came on last episode. And Tavon Austin was the first episode. So star-studded lineup.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
How many houses did he buy her? Because she told multiple stories about different houses that she was living in that he bought her.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Johnny, we love you. Sorry, we just wanted to mention that real quick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Without ExpressVPN, these third-party sites can still see every website you visit, even in incognito mode. We're talking your internet service provider, your mobile network provider, the admins of your Wi-Fi network. ExpressVPN reroutes 100% of your traffic through secure encrypted servers, so third parties can't see your browsing history.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
He sells out football stadiums. He has hundreds of millions of dollars.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Oh, those are so annoying. Half of my requests are sex group chats, and it's always me and Chester. Same.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
That's like that video of, you ever seen that guy and he goes up to Shawn Mendes and asks Shawn Mendes to take a photo and Shawn's like, dude, not right now. And he's like, no, no, no, like of me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Oh, he didn't even realize? No, he did. He was just fucking with him. Oh, really? And then Shawn Mendes is like, oh, yeah, yeah, sorry, I'm so sorry. All right, should we roadmap it up?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
That's good, that's good. We can live with that. All right, guys, we have a fantastic episode for you guys today. We have your pitches followed by our pitches, and then we're going to do everyone's favorite segment, This Guy Rocks, followed by, say it with me, Lauren. Teach me something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
and then i think we have am i the assholes this week am i the assholes are back we were doing reddit ones uh instead of the dm ones because i think the reason we got away from that was sometimes they just felt not real like people were lying to us and that for clout and that's not i don't like being lied to only thing i like is yeah chicks and baseball and apple pie and fourth of july yep that's right
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Me too, brother. And then, for some reason, we're doing three drafts today. We got a little excited. We got scared away. We're going to do New York Times games that don't exist, followed by Will's favorite racehorses that don't exist. I'm so excited. I actually have some great ones. I'm really excited about that. I cannot wait. And then we're going to do the best opening lines for dating apps.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Do you have them? I have them too. Oh, oh. Yeah, let's spin the wheel.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
The two most recent comments on the YouTube last time I checked were, please do more free talk and less segments. So we are giving you more segments. So we've added like 100 segments.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Okay, I think that the truth, one of the truths is that you walked to Nevada to the bathroom. I think you were at that place where it had four states and you were like technically in Colorado. I think that you, I think the lie is that you were one day away from being a black belt. I think that somehow technically you have illegally crossed the border into Brazil.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
What does like Paraguay, what does the like Uguay part mean that there's that in Paraguay and that in Uruguay? That's a good question. Right, it has to mean something. Well. Para is like all, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I don't know. Look up what is guay. What is guay? In Spanish. Lauren. It's completely there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Oh, that's a really good question. Let's think about it, Willie. What's the worst part? What's the one thing wrong? Like your team isn't... That's what I was going to say.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, you don't always have like a vested interest in either team. Okay. Like not everyone at the Super Bowl party like cares. And so you have to like kind of bring down your excitement if you are excited because then... Sunday. It's on a Sunday. Yeah, you have work after.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
insane and they stayed together that wasn't even why they broke up wait what what happened i don't i guess he started yelling they think it was about our good friend grace yeah love grace uh they think it was about grace he apparently was like yelling across the fire like you'll fucking never make it like you'll you're never gonna be anybody whatever like unprompted he seems like a fucking bad way sad
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I love that. What is the UFL? The UFL, I think it's the USFL. USFL. It's like a secondary.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
horrible but I think what would be fun is like presumably if it's a fan favorite team there's like cool players on it so like yeah like the Ravens lost to like a USFL team now like Lamar is just like a free agent kind of cool I think he'd be in the USFL Oh, they swap places? Surely he would just find a way to get on an NFL team. I don't know. I don't think he's allowed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I've always thought that that's what American sports needs. Relegation. There's no reason to not be the worst team. If you're a bad team, you'd rather be the worst team because then you get the first pick. I agree.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
The only problem with us is we just don't have the... None of these teams have the, like, infrastructure. So, like, if, like... Right. But that happens in Europe. Agreed. But, like, somehow they... I guess it's just... It's been going on for so long that they, like... Yeah. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
find a way like if portland if like the hearts of pine like made it to the mls like they'd be playing at the same stadium that our state championship for lacrosse was at where it's just like it wouldn't it would be a logistical nightmare it is uh it was interesting though because i was with these irish guys on saturday i made irish friends there's friday we went to a concert together it's cool um
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Or, like, vice versa. I don't know. I always liked that random Premier League teams get promoted, and, like, their field is, like, in an apartment complex.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
yeah who is that team that just got promoted to the premier league where you have to walk through like like there's like one entrance into their stadium oh yeah I saw like a tiktok about this yeah horrible or it's it's awesome kind of cool yeah they're like stadium is all what a cool little town I was just gonna say imagine living right there wait what country is this France France oh very cool Green Camp
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And for the record, if it was about Grace, Grace is killing it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It was in Slack. Yeah. We got invited in. That'd be like if she might as well have faxed us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
A much more likable character than old Zachy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I think the only reason, the only thing keeping this world together is that you can't get that drunk all the time because you know you're going to make a fool out of yourself. If you have a false sense of security, the world would implode. The only reason I don't black out all the time is because I can't deal with my behavior.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
yeah also i have no i have no desire to have ever seen anything i've done that i can't remember the only thing i would use it for is that if you could talk to it like siri and be like did i how like on a scale of one to ten how bad did i fuck up she'd be like only a three yeah and you'd be like oh i wouldn't i wouldn't even want to ask yeah like i think sometimes when you wake up and you think it's really bad it's actually worse than you remember it yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I had a TikTok come across my desk the other day that said it was basically a guy just being like, did you know none of your friend group likes you? It's actually an inside joke that they all look at you behind your back and talk about how annoying you are.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It was really your idea, I think. Yeah, I pull most of the pictures also.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Love it. Also, most of the music is my choice as well. kind of my pet project kind of your pet project I love it Lauren but it scares me I think as great as that might sound on paper if you watch back we had a friend that we used to joke about we'd love to strap a GoPro on him because he would disappear for like a whole night And then just like respawn in the morning. What is this?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
We were saying we had this friend Colin where we'd be like, I wish we could strap a GoPro to Colin and see like what happens when he leaves. Because he would just spawn back in the morning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And have no anxiety about it. And we'd be like, what happened? He's like, I have no idea. Let's kill it. All right, should we pitch each other? Yeah. Introducing the song screen. Hmm. What is the worst part about listening to music in the car? One second. Say it again. What's the worst part about listening to music in the car?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
When I pull up to stoplights, if my windows are down, I have to turn the music down because I don't want to disturb the people next to me. Sometimes I want to just drive around and bump, but I want the windows down. But not... But I don't want to make it everyone else's problem. These are screens. You know, like in the back of minivans, you can pull this thing up?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's like that. And it catches all the sound waves and just stops it, but it lets air come in. So you can drive, you can pull up to a stoplight, and you can be blasting music. And as far as anyone's concerned, you are listening to no music. It catches all the sound waves. Do you not sing along, though? I do, but it would look like I'm just mouthing the words. That's what I'm saying.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And then Dave, I guess, said that one of his songs is about one of Zach's songs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's like, is it crazy if you're like... Mine is less about embarrassing myself and more just like, I feel like I'm disturbing everyone around me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
You know when a motorcycle pulls up and they're blasting music? All right, I guess we're just listening to this guy's fucking... It is funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
my car has a feature this is actually kind of cool i wish it would do it i wish there's only three options like one is the least two is the middle three is the most where like as i speed up the music turns up really and then as i slow down the music turns out but it's still not enough like i wish it would go like almost silent at stoplights but like when you start like it's kind of cool when you start flooring and it's like and like goes like back up that's really it's awesome
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I've never heard of that before. I don't have power windows, but I have that. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I was just reading that. What is that song about?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
yeah you could sell it to airlines i always worry you're like the guy's the guy next to you has a full ginger ale and there's turbulence and he's not looking at you like how are you not how are you not fucking so worried about this amen yeah so it's everything just sticks
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I did the math one time. It's like 2,000 calories worth of candy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I think you might be running into a similar problem that I ran into with the airplane curry. I texted Lil and I was like, curry sucks. And I was texting everyone being like, and I was like, hey, Manny's having an off year. It's my first time eating curry and I ate it on an airplane. Maybe olives aren't bad. It's just like the Delta olives aren't that great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
We were in, I stopped eating olives in seventh grade. We were, or no, freshman year of college, of high school. We were, I got a salad. We were on vacation.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I was a freshman in high school. Okay. I got a salad. We were in Italy. Italy. The food there is supposed to be great. I was like, you know what? I'm not going to slap the chef in the face. I don't normally like olives, but I'm not going to make any alterations. Don't want to insult their culture.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
There was a pit in one of the olives, and I bit directly into it. And I said, never again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I liked black olives as a kid as well, and I stopped on that. When my mom was making tacos, she'd put all the toppings in their own little bowls. I'd come around and sneak a handful of olives.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. In hindsight, that doesn't really make a ton of sense.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Cool. Yeah. Yeah, but that, if you're out there listening, I think I might have already given this PSA. If you're out there listening and you're thinking, you're sitting on a plane right now and the flight attendant asks you if you want the curry, say no. It was, it did, it did an absolute inside job on my body.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, that's the thing that sucks so hard. Yeah. Now we just can't listen to this guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yes, I can't wait. And if it's not at your local Target, because it's probably already sold out, check it out online. Targetwebsite.com.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Guys, the reason it's so good is because it's real liquor and real fruit juice. And it's not made with that typical malt liquor that you see in other canned cocktails. I got my favorites.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Ricky, Ricky, Ricky. I got the vodka lime. Last weekend, Will and I went golfing, and we snuck a couple of limes into our golf bags. If you're the golf course listening, we didn't do that, but we had a blast. They're best. I like to pour it over some ice. Interesting take. A lot of people drink it out of the can. It's still great that way.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
My favorite, I like to get a nice glass of ice, fill it to the brim, pour my Ricky right in there. Head to rickyspirits.com to find out where you can get Ricky near you. Follow at friday.beers and at rickyspirits to stay up to date with upcoming Ricky contests and giveaways. Let's get back into the episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Do you guys want to hear about how Queen Victoria could have prevented World War I? Hit me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
All these people are saying like, if you guys have been listening, he's been trying to tell us for years that he's like a bad guy. Exactly. On a lighter note, I have a friend that was telling me she does SoulCycle with Jill Biden.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany, King George V of England, and Tsar Nicholas II of Russia were all first cousins. Dream blunt rotation? Dream blunt rotation. Have you ever seen Tsar Nicholas messing around with his buddies? No. One of the reasons that whole family got executed was- No, what? They were so out of touch with how bad things were for the common man in Russia. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And they were always partying and horsing around. There are videos of Tsar Nicholas and his boys doing piggybacks and stuff. They were just a fun group of guys, but didn't understand that people were starving and whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yep. But they were all first cousins, and their grandmother was Queen Victoria. Okay. And Kaiser Wilhelm famously said, shout out to whoever I got this from on Reddit, famously said that if his grandmother, Queen Victoria, was alive for World War I, she simply just would not have let it happen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
wait being like being like no boys yeah that's funny and uh yeah so they were all first cousins also sar nicholas and they uh and king uh king george if you look him up looked fucking identical it's really crazy look him up yeah pull up king george and sar nicholas the second next to each other and they were boys they were like best pals Yeah, look at that. Oh, my gosh. They're the same guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Do you think they had a good time? Look up Tsar Nicholas horsing around with his friends. Go to images. Is this? No. There's pictures of them doing piggybacks and stuff.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But, yeah, a fun group of guys, but wildly out of touch with the needs of their people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And apparently, this is something I didn't know, like, the Secret Service, whenever someone does the workout class, like, a handful of them will do it with them. Okay. Because it's just easier for them to be in the room instead of, like, standing, like, all around her.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I spent... Mate? I spent like a week with Tanner's parents, and I was like... You started slinging around like, y'all. Y'all? I say y'all.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
What are you talking about? In the sense of like culturally.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's not like the traditional sense of the South.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Well, it's just blatant. It's so wrong that I don't even know where to start.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, you guys are like more buttoned up than the rest of the South. It feels like New England preppy to me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
they're on the four bikes next to her that's awesome and like surrounding her and i was asking my friend i'm like if there was an emergency like i feel like that's the last place you'd want to be you're like clipped into a bike like they're like they're pedaling oh oh try to get like their gun out of their boot yeah yeah i just thought that was funny that's also funny because they're all probably like they're all like fuck we gotta go do soul cycle oh yeah they yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
That proves my... No, I believe... Also, it's way farther South than I would have thought.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I understand that this is correct. To me, it felt like it was in the mid-Atlantic.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I have a glass from Little Jack's in my cabinet because my friends, Olivia and Jake sent me one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
That is funny. Yours reminded me of this last thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
This isn't funny, but I thought it was funny at the time. There was... This was before people knew the dangers of like drugs or this drug at least.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Like prehistoric. Before people knew that this was not funny. And for the record, I wasn't at college when this happened. This was a story that was relayed to me. Okay. They used to put Xanax in each other's drinks. Like kids that were older than me. And they'd call it like QB sneaking each other. And one of our good friends was sitting on the couch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And he was probably going to take one later anyways. Like it wasn't like whatever. Still very messed up that they did this to him. But he thought it was fun. It's one of his favorite stories. He was sitting there and they're having a conversation. He realized he was feeling like way too good. And, like, mid, like, he was telling this awesome joke that he thought was awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And halfway through, he looked around and he goes, all right, who's the funny guy? Like, trying to figure out who QB sneaked him. And I remember being like, if someone did that to me, I would be so unbelievably mad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
i feel like i hear about people's like college stories and it's like they were like a big thing i guess i knew a lot of people that would do that too really yeah they were like i don't think i ever even saw one we missed that era because people were like dying from it but like it was like before us it was like the four years when we were in high school and that was like when they were huge but also the way it's been explained to me is like if you take one it's like drinking like 15 beers yeah it doesn't sound enjoyable i know yeah interesting
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I feel great. My headache's gone. Also, we never addressed this. When the Hivemind guys came on, I guess all those stories were just jokes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But you look over, who are these massive men doing Pilates? I've been getting way back into flight simulator recently. Okay. I am now to the point, without a shadow of a doubt, I think if something went wrong on a flight, I could successfully land it. I have gotten to the point where I am so good at landing these planes that I genuinely think I could take off, keep it in the air, and land it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
When he was talking about hookahing ibuprofen, I think that was just a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's like how, I think we've talked about this already, but there's a tribe... There's an uncontacted tribe that worships the USA. Oh, really? I guess we saved them from something during one of the wars. And a bunch of our stuff was left on their island. And it was so advanced to them that they assumed we were gods. And they still march around with USA. They truly have no idea what it means.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
That's awesome. But it's on their chest. And they march around and they build fake tanks out of hay. That's fantastic.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, I would say 19... Wait, don't Google it. Sorry, that was so rude. 19... He said, don't Google it, bitch. No, I didn't. No, no, I didn't. I, like, very snappy said, like, do not Google it yet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I did not tell you, bitch. Run the tape. Run the tape. I've only called Lauren a bitch one time, and it was as a joke at our old office, and it didn't land, and she was very mad at me for the rest of the afternoon.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
There's no way I said it more than once. I remember the one time I said it. It's pretty incriminating. I've definitely... Incriminating. My guess for when Rutherford B. Hayes was kicking around was 19... I think it was in between the World Wars. I'm going to say 1935. Don't... Stop.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Hmm Oh I was a little late 1877 to 1881 Wowza He's an Ohioan?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Education. Education, Kenyon College. And Harvard. There we go. Somebody went to Miami.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Do that after. Okay, I stumbled upon this kid. I guess, like, this comedy club holds, like, a kid's night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And, like, kids from ages, like, 7 to, like, 15 come and do stand-up at this club. That's great. And, like, their experiences are all...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
You'd be in the airplane like, all right, which one's A?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. Yeah. I had this similar thing with my sister smoking weed. Okay, yeah. My middle sister told me that the other one was smoking weed. I went down and, like, woke her up from a nap. You are ruining this family's reputation. All right. Let's continue. This is about his brothers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I don't think you realize, though, once it's in the air, it's not that hard to keep it stable. You can do autopilot or something. No, it's like, I, I have a good enough understanding. You're playing on an Xbox. No, no, but I'm controlling the yoke and like everything. Like I'm, I am 1000% confident that I could, I could not only fly commercial airliner. I think I could land a small jet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Oh. What'd you think about that one? I'm a little bummed out. My problem is... I respect him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I do, too. I do, too. But I think... I think this is a good thing in a lot of senses where, like, things are becoming more accessible now that we have, like, the internet, whatever. Like, anyone can try stuff out. Yep. But we're... It used to be like stand up comedy was you went and you like sucked until you did it. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And now you can go do it in front of like parents of other kids who are doing it. So they're just laughing at everything you say. Sorry. And now like he thinks he like murdered that. I don't know. They turn the comments off. Yeah. But the crowd, the crowd was losing their marbles.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. If I did stand-up comedy at that age, though, it would have been ten times worse, but no one let me do it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I think we're throwing him to the wolves because we're letting him think that it's good, and then he's going to get bullied for it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
No, I'm shocked he isn't on Disney Channel, to be honest.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
how confident i mean i do definitely miss how like willing to put myself out there i think now it's like ironically i have way more of a platform like through this but like right it's i don't know sometimes awkward i always thought i always thought the theater kids in high school were the coolest because it was like yeah blind confidence to like put yourself out there like i think like the kids that thought we were like the cool kids were like way more insecure and
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
100%. And, like, definitely would not. We had this one kid named Mike who was in our friend group, great kid, and everyone, like, revered him because he did theater from, like, a young age. Yeah. And we were like, oh, that's sick. Mike has, like, so much confidence.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
You remember when that was, like, there's no, if I was in a class right now, or even in, like, college, it was, like, I do not have the balls to, like, disturb the teacher right now. Oh, I would disturb them so much. Did you get, like, notes sent home where it was, like, all Will wants to do is, like, distract himself and others.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I've been thinking about this ever since the whole Zach Bryan thing started. Everyone else is capitalizing off of beefing with him except for us. We were the first people he beefed with and no one believed us that he was crazy until now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I don't know if I could land like a seven 47. I am absolutely positive. I could land like a small jet now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I had a Snapchat memory the other day. It was an email that I took a picture of my dad's computer. They sent an email home. This kid in front of me farted.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
and it was like it's already funny it was so funny it was like the hardest i've laughed he like it sounded like he almost like crapped himself and like everyone else was like oddly mature about it yeah and like i just couldn't get there like i was trying And I was like sobbing, laughing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And like, it made it funnier because no one else, like if you're telling yourself like, dude, you have to calm down. Like everyone else is calm. That made it way funnier. And Mr. Thayer, Dr. Thayer, God bless him. I was probably a nightmare for this guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Emailed my dad and was just like, Jack had an uncontrollable case of the giggles today, but left out the part that this kid like literally in front of me, like literally shit himself. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
No, it was one of those classes where I maybe had one other friend and he was on the other side. We weren't allowed to sit with each other. And so the poor girl next to me was trying to learn. And that made it funnier. I just couldn't understand why no one else thought it was hysterical. And I remember trying to explain it to my dad. And he was just like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
you know, surely if everyone else could keep it together, like you could too. And I was like, no, you don't understand. Like it was the funniest part I've ever heard in my entire life. And I would, he would, he would dismiss me. I would go to the bathroom and then I would come back and I would have composed myself.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And then like, I would look at the kid and he'd be like scratching his butt or something. And like, it was just like set me off again. Like I wasn't trying to like be disruptful. It was just like the funniest thing I'd ever seen. Yeah. I don't blame you. That was, like, a weird thing about my school. I felt like the kids were, like, oddly mature.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Like, a lot of the kids, like, had their act together. And, like, that's what highlighted, like, if you're still immature, it was just tenfold because, like, everyone else around you was, like, very, like, buttoned up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Like they have ones that would like accurately tell whether you could do it. Not only could I keep it there and land it, I've tried it multiple times. 50% of the time I think I could barrel roll it and keep it in the air.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I had a Spanish teacher who we would just give her hell. Her name was Senor Chase. And we were actually the last middle school class. She was allowed to teach. They sent her down to the minors.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Only allowed to teach elementary school. Cause they were like, you can't keep these kids in line. And, um, It basically all started, she brought my friend up in front of the class. You know how rappers are like, all the teachers said I would like never make it. And you're like, no one's ever sang. Yeah. She actually took him up in front of the class and was like, he's going nowhere in life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Like, I don't understand why you guys follow him. He was like our like ringleader. And we just like made her life hell for the rest of the year. And she would keep us in during recess. And I remember someone leveling with her. Yeah. And being like, why do you want this? Yeah. Like this makes this worse for, you have to spend more time. Yeah. It was almost like she got off on it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And she would sit there and we weren't allowed to do anything. So we would just sit with her and fuck with her the whole time. I was like, why do you want this?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
yes you don't think so absolutely not you're playing on xbox controller i'm controlling the yoke and i'm controlling all i'm keeping on an xbox but i am i am going in and i'm picking out the it's i'm not using the controls i use the mode where i pick the thing and like move it oh okay all right
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
How many different cooking machines does this guy have? Well, because you can hook up the Alexa, I think, just to outlets, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I walk out and my Aunt Sarah's restraining you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
We don't have to deal with any of it anymore.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
If you're in high school and you're listening to this and you're worried about something, it's not going to be a thing. I remember that going into high school, one of my sister's friends, they were going to be seniors or something. And we were all having a bonfire at my house. And one of the girls was like... I was clearly stressing about high school. Yeah. And she goes... Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
As long as you like try, she's like, everything works out. And my dad was like, no, don't tell him that. Like he needs to be like a little bit dialed, need to be a little bit dialed in. Like, cause you think, oh, if I don't like, if I don't nail like everything, like my life is going to crumble. And it's like, no, no, you'll be completely fine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
i don't know i guess i don't i have no idea one thousand it just seems i think people go to like years and years of training i i actually so it's funny you say that i genuinely think these like flight schools are like kind of a scam i think it's like outdated and i think like if you play enough flight simulator on xbox you understand how a plane works enough to fly it and barrel roll it and land it all right put it this way i'm not getting in the plane lauren you getting in the plane i'm not getting in that plane i think we should go somewhere i think you should
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I feel like that might work on 80% of the kids, but I feel like that could send 20 into an absolute tailspin.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Ah, kosher had just been invented. The Jews are here now, finally. And none of us are happy about it. What? We were playing like old-timey guys. I love Jews. There's a mosque down the street, and I don't know what that is. We're all salting our food because the refrigerator hasn't been invented yet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
We all have to get our lunch at the soup kitchen because the Great Depression is right around the corner.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
All women's hair is very short and it gets longer as it goes towards the face. All women have hair. I have to powder my wig. Let's hear that. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
No, you're not the asshole for saying something. I would say just move. Yeah. I would just move without saying anything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Someone did this to me at the airport. We were at the gate, like still pretty packed, but there were, there was a whole row across from us that wasn't filled. And the person sat right next to me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
go to an actual like a flight simulator yeah you don't think I could do that even I mean that's the same as a plane yeah I could the same thing I could 1000% take off keep it in the air and land a small jet I could even barrel roll it I'm positive alright let's do it can you find a flight simulator
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I've also been the asshole in a similar situation. There was the blocks of three chairs. Have you ever seen that at an airport where it's just like one, two, three? I can picture it. I sat in the middle one one time just without thinking about it. Yeah. And it was a full airport.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And to this woman's credit, walked directly up to me and goes, do you want to sit next to each other or do you want to move to one of the corners? And I was like, sorry. And I moved over. That's kind of awesome. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I think some people leave the house and go, how am I going to ruffle some feathers today? Yeah. His goal was to get a reaction out of you and you gave it to him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
So I think you just do what Will says and just move. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
no it was like a free area like it was it wasn't it wasn't like benches it was like in the corner a mirror and she came and stood two feet away from me that's really strange that is a little strange weird but anyway no i don't think you're the hustle either i had a guy sit next to me uh at the airport bar i was sitting on the furthest to the left yeah there were like three open seats and he sat next to me and i was and i thought it was kind of nice actually
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Cause it wasn't like, he wasn't like invading my space. Yeah. But it was like, now we were just, and we started talking, but if it was, I think most people that would, my initial reaction was like, what the fuck? Yeah. And then I was like, eh, whatever. It's fine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
we were driving we were driving down venice i think or no we were driving down like whatever semantics we were driving on like a road where you're going like 40 yeah we nailed this bag of ruffles and it popped everywhere and we were laughing that some guy would be on the other side of the road like my lunch
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It must be like a- Like a TA or something? Yeah, team leader or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I think one thing that I learned, I fell more, unfortunately, and I regrettably fell more into the category of person who didn't do anything on the group projects. But there were times where I was frustrated with someone not carrying their fair share of the weight. And what my professor told me, I thought this was very wise when we complained to them, was...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
part of the reason you do group projects is to like mimic real world working scenarios where a skill you have to learn is like properly delegating and like getting that person to do their work. Yeah. And, uh, it's a life lesson. It sucks that they don't do it sometimes, but, um, Yeah. I mean, it's college. And if you are some people are fine skating by. I was one of those people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And some people are just going to do all the work. And that's how the world works. So you're much better off for learning whatever the project was about. But you you should just leave her on and let her deal with the consequences down the road.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I think those boyfriends were talking about like a 747. I think that's hard. I think you would be surprised with how good I am at flying a small jet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Like if you're the president like this is how you would like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Lauren, do you want to do New York Times articles that don't exist, resources that don't exist, or best dating app opening lines?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Okay. We'll lead it off. Also, let's do it like we're not reading off our phone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
colt following saddle tail nice uh derby fully loaded emotionally instable um straight from the horse uh full steam ahead
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah. All right, should we do best dating app opening lines? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I'll buy the first drink if you can guess how long it's been since I've bathed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I'm confused. Two truths and a lie. I'm roommates with my mother, I have a pet snake named Ryan, and I only wipe if it's a real mess. The thing I really want is... Okay, I get what you're doing now. You're way bustier than my current girlfriend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I'm taking the craziest poop right now, LOL. Want to get drinks this week? Thank you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
That's all I had, too. Yeah, we fucked that one up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
castle spelled like castle um it but round by round it gives you a cast member and you have to guess what movie it is i like that i like that uh i've got coffee hop it's an augmented reality thing where you prop your phone up at your coffee mug and then there's little guys and you have to flick them and try to land them in your coffee oh i love that like uh paper toss
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Meal-all. Okay. It gives you an ingredient each round. You have to guess what the recipe is. I like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Demographics. It shows you the demographics of a country similar to the cradle, but it's like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
maybe you you know if you grow berry you can go grab your berry and it's just sort of a little virtual uh greenhouse that you get to check in on every morning i like that uh the scriptal it gives you a dialogue line from it picks one character from a movie and you get lines of dialogue they said in the movie and you have to guess what character it is okay i'll give you one ready we were hot i don't know give me another one
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Yeah, but like that's so fun. Or turkey. No, it is no fun. But you know what's really no fun? What? Eating a bad Thanksgiving dinner. It's not going to be bad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Makes you chuckle. All right. Whose personality are you guys going to steal this week? God, we have been white hot today. I think this is our best episode of the podcast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I just thought we've been going for two hours and it feels like we might be losing steam a little bit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Okay, lovely. Scream. I'm going to steal that ghost from the movie Spirited Away because I think I'm just going to be like a silent character in the background this week. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I don't know if he still does because his videos don't surface anymore.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I want him to join SNL so bad just so we can see how funny it would be.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
All right, who's personality are you going to show this week?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's like, wait, how does that one go again? Pull up Jake Novak, Bad Gun. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
All right. Enough of that. That's Jake Novak, everyone. I really like it. I just have heard it 100,000 times. I want to hear it more. All right. Lauren, whose personality are you going to steal?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
It's the Unabomber. All right. We love you guys. Have a great rest of your week and a fantastic weekend. And we will see you guys next Wednesday. Bye-bye.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
green can i give you a recipe green bean casserole gas well i already talking about this i already picked is the problem green bean when did green bean casserole become a thing because we were you know those filters where it's like rank like it was basically a filter like boom or doom and it gave you a thing whatever and the person i was doing it with said that she uh is familiar with this and that it's like huge in the midwest yes i've been i've had this since i was like my first thanksgiving i'm
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I feel like maybe I've heard of it, but it's not like a big thing. Do you guys do the sweet potato casserole with the mashed potatoes or the marshmallows in it? Sometimes. That's delish.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I don't either, but I like this. I like this, but I think it's just because it has marshmallows in it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I'm trying to decide because I'm doing Movember. Both of our mustaches are kind of coming in pretty well for this. I might be in the driver's seat. Yeah, I think yours is still slightly better, but I'm gaining- Mine's been going a month and a half. I'm gaining on you quickly. I'm on day- I'm on day 11. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
But I don't know if I want to be, because if you show up to Thanksgiving with a mustache, the grandparents and the aunts are going to want to talk about it. And I just don't know if I want the headache. Cause I did beard and bus cut two years ago.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
I've been saying it for like a year now. I know. And you didn't believe me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
And something about that feels like, like, Oh, Oh, Oh, you're not, you're not talking about the streams. You're talking about like the live sketch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
Um, so sorry, you're, you're worried about presenting yourself with a mustache to these live crowds.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
my family went rogue in brazil
in new york city like my all my friends and family are gonna be there and like there's like 300 something people at the show and like this is not like gonna be my i don't know something that feels like more i think as of today i pointed this out today the mustache in my opinion was not a mustache until this this was the first time i've seen it this is actually a good look before it was like oh he's going for a mustache now it's like oh that guy just has a mustache lauren yeah no i agree
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
And she went to, like, a huge high school.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
It was, like, Piss Town or something. Like, this sounds like you're in town. Is that it? Can you Google that? But like, you're in town. You're pranking. No, I'm not doing a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
It like was up. Just hit enter. On the keyboard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Yeah, you're in town. I don't know what it was about.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
And this mom comes in with her little kids. I forgot about that. I like remembering. Sometimes this podcast, as I dig through the well of stories, I provoke ones I didn't. Anyway, this mom comes in with her little kids and they sit next to us. And the mom's like, the banner drops down and they're like, welcome to Urinetown. And there's like piss decorations and shit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
And she's like, this guy's like, yeah. And she's with her two, like, little kids. Yeah. And she goes, oh, my God. She goes, my friend told me about this great high school musical. I thought it was high school musical.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I had all pictures of him all around my bed growing up. I remember when he hoisted that Stanley Cup in 2008, 2009. Brian Wallace had built a replica Stanley Cup out of a water jug with a bunch of bowls taped and then covered in tinfoil. It was like actually the size. And me and my dad went out and hoisted it in the street. It was the best day of my childhood.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Give yourself a little, like, while you're getting ready before you start drinking caffeine. I think I told you this. Oh, yeah. I think I've read it. I heard it in a podcast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
So I would go and I'd be like, all right, our two options are aliens or something. And Sparta, which would be really cool because then we can do this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
trudeau gave like this speech basically about like whatever long story short in the speech justin trudeau goes like and like canadians like we're gonna take action like we're not gonna come visit florida or old orchard beach
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
This town has a population of 8,000 people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
But then like Dave Portnoy tweeted a video where like the moment he says old, it's like, and we're not going to come to Old Orchard Beach. And then you just hear Dave Portnoy behind the camera like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
My dad was like, Jesus, dude. They shouldn't say it in French. It's, yeah. And then I also saw videos on Twitter that were, like, people like, this is a big threat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Well, when I was a kid, I wanted to see the end of the pier. My mom and dad were like, I'll take you. And the end part has a bouncer, but I guess I was with my parents. They let me walk out. It was like 8.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
And he just starts going like, oh, look at these fucking idiots. They brought their fucking kid. What the fuck are you doing? And saying all this shit. And I just remember my dad was like, And then we walked off the pier and I, like as a kid, I was like, I'd never seen my dad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I think I would go Charleston. Okay. Valencia, Spain. And then I think I would have to do something like kind of rural.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
This is secret, but yeah. It's going to happen. Am I cutting this? Well, they sent us a date, but Billy can't do it, so we have to try to find a new date. Am I cutting this? But it was a venue. No, it's fine. I don't care. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
And I went and did a really cool thing with them when I was 15. And can we put a link in the description if you want to support them?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Six weeks. But yeah, she's the best. It's a great organization. She reached out and she's like, hey, since you have a platform.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You know what? He's such a funny guy. Combined with that, I respect. This guy takes pride in his accomplishment. For sure. He's awesome. I respect the hell out of that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Yeah, I think actually... I'll let you guys know. Scott and I are working on Saturday to redo our patio. And if we can get it done in time, we might have people over Saturday evening for like a barbecue and then we can play a game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Crazy. But yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, then we'll hang out a totally different time. How's that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Hermanito. Hermanito. Isn't this hotel? Nice. Do you order them? No, I went there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
All right, we'll get into that in a second.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
What are you pointing at? He's on the ground. Lauren's pointing at what? What's on the ground? The sand?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
And it was the centerpiece of our hall. And we did this great thing, and we won, and it was all fun and games. And then the school janitor, when we were cleaning up, he was like, what y'all doing with that horse? I was like, the seven-foot replica of the Trojan horse? Yeah. I was like, honestly, no real plans. Why? He was like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Amazing. That was really well said, Lauren. Thank you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I just don't want you plugging stuff on our show like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
On our show, I said. I didn't say my show.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I said our show. Run the clip. It's my show. It's Rusty's show. Everyone knows that. I wish that I was Rusty's girl. I want to see him turn me inside out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
You know that there's like an episode of The Office where Michael's like, When I was six, I imagined something called a unicorn before I ever knew anything about them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Oh, you don't want to know. She's a crewmate.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I've been trying to get a word in edgewise for like 10 minutes now. I was on hinge.com again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
You know how I said I never do it, I just check my inbound? Yeah. And I hadn't really been captivated by anything? Well, I realized that... I recently downloaded Hinge maybe a year ago after not having it since college.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't know. But it would be weird if they were in college. I don't know. Anyway, long story short. So then I was going through it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
So it sucks and I'm never going to find my wife? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
You don't think you can find a classy... Remember when I slipped a bunch? One second.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Really? Yeah. That's what happened to Edge and Binder. That's what happened to Lupica and Motts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
a lot i think it's a really really great way i know we have a lot of young men that listen to this podcast and maybe therapy isn't the sexiest thing but uh i think it's a really really great way to understand yourself and how you interact with the world and the people that you love and care about and just make you a better person and a better version of yourself i can't say enough good things about therapy and what it's done for me and i can't recommend it enough
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
And BetterHelp is, you know, a great, really accessible way to get into it. They have over 30,000 therapists. It's convenient. You can join with just the click of a button. Fit it into your busy life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I got a stain from the food I ate in my bed now. And I'm like, do I have to buy new sheets? Please buy new sheets. I washed them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I don't know. I don't even know. Why? What? Oh, now? Yeah, I'm probably going to... I just feel like... I don't have all these different types.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
All right. Now we got to dial in for these segments.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I've never been there for an LSU game, so I can't relate, but.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
my answer is a why don't we just have my water gets so fucking hot in my sink sometimes that it burns my hands like i swear to god it's like 10 degrees away from being boiling why not just have a boiling water faucet that exists on your sink
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
I'm going to send you a picture of a house in a salt mine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
No. No, salt house is dirty. Salt house, snowing, salt melt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
surely no i just mean like yeah like if you went out on a date you'd have to bring that up relatively quickly that it's a big part of your life i do yeah that's like a thing i find it hard to get them to put the rope or in my mouth but once they do it they're once they do it i feel like they usually get the hang of it right all right i slacked you mine lauren this guy is um who i'm voting for for president is this guy gonna rock will of course he is just play it yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
This is cause and effect consulting. Just go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
DMs, messages are you sending? None. This guy has reinvigorated my passion for life, and I'm going to one of his seminars in a few weeks at his house alone, and I'm very excited.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Wow. But then we got in a whole... Did I ever tell you about Watermelon Gate? No. No. Dude, it's fucked. When I was a freshman in high school... No, it was actually really bad. It was on CNN. It was national news. When I was a freshman in high school, the football team...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Because I'm going to have a home run weekend with my dad at spring training. I'm going to three Mets games. Going to get to really get a good look. Yeah, the weekend after this episode airs. And I'm just super excited to get to spend time with my dad and get to see the Mets. And I think this is going to be our year. So to get to see them in spring training is pretty cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
Did I ever tell you that kid that gets shot in that one scene? You know that teenager that brings them their drinks? Yeah, he shoots Spider. Yeah, that's Michael Imperioli. Who's that? He's in Sopranos. He's in White Lotus. He's in... Google Michael Imperioli. You would recognize him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
constructing the ultimate birdhouse
After the game, they would smash it and all cheer and celebrate.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
I mean, I think it depends on who you're talking to. Like, I think some people think it's not embarrassing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
I didn't think it was that bad. You were the one that was embarrassed by it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
he caught me with my fly down
and i was cutting you a piece of burger to give you and i held out my fork and i thought you were going to grab the fork and take a bite and then you just decided to take a bite off my fork as i held it for you okay this is the same story i told it's the exact never mind but thanks flan do you want to say hi to will and lauren
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
But also, I'm not... He's still a human. It's... I don't know. No, no, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
romanticizing the shooter being like ooh he's kinda like hot so weird so weird like why are you I don't know I think that's bizarre that he killed him or that they think he's hot people to be like romanticizing I don't know I think it's like I think it's like attractive when someone's like doing something like on a big scale
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
No, I'm just laughing and picturing you preparing what you wanted to talk about for the day, and it's like, Dash...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Can you reenact it? Can you be the lady? And then he stands up how your dad was.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, he's a baby in it. Well, and we were at the TCL.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
He's the son. He doesn't have that many lines even. He's Coop.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
No, his name's Tom. No, no, the grandpa's name's Tom.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I don't think Casey Affleck's in that. He is. Wait, no, he's not. Oh, yeah, he is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
You gotta stop playing fucking basketball. I'm gonna send a message.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That seems like... What's the point of it, even? Why does this exist?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah. This isn't going to work anymore. Because I don't care enough to... Get family guide.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Did you get close with them? Matt and Brian? Yeah, I liked those guys a lot. Wait, Matt and Brian, right? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
You can do almost anything you want. Are those new slippers, by the way, Jack?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That should be an extension of like Postmates. I feel like this was someone's pitch once, like where they come in and like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I feel like as the drivers, they'd be like, I'm not doing that. Like I would just leave it at the door and not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Let's look. Let's look. Mine didn't seem very accurate. TBH.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
My fifth song. So Gracie Abrams is my top artist, which makes sense. But my fifth top listen to song was risk, which like, There are way more of her songs that I know I like significantly more and have listened to more. And I think they just threw that on there because it's one of her more popular ones.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Wait, is it? Yeah. Or is that a joke? What? Is it a good podcast? No, no.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
This is a new, very common thing. It's not new.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I think something's wrong with my body. I like fell asleep last night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I just took a deep breath and I got like a back, a back pain.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That clip, or no, the King Tut one randomly popped off on TikTok.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Okay, you were the one that called it King Tut.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That is cool, but... Kind of a cool word picture.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
That's funny. Alrighty, Greg Snydman. Snydman, Snydman.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
He says, pitch idea for the pod and the playmates. Sometimes when you nap or go to bed, you feel lonely. Your pillow is always there, but it's just so quiet. Wouldn't it be nice if your pillow could talk to you, offering comforting words, silly jokes, or even share a bedtime story?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Pillow Talk is a smart pillow with a built-in speaker and AI that provides companionship during naps and bedtime. Using a mobile app, you can customize your pillow's personality. It can be a friendly, reassuring voice that tells you a bedtime story, crack jokes when you're trying to nap, or even serenade you with calming tunes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
In a world where even our pillows are quiet and unhelpful, Pillow Talk will become your go-to sleep companion, ensuring you never nap alone again. Because honestly, who doesn't want a pillow that gives unsolicited advice? Love you guys. I will name my first born child Playmate.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
oh guess what I'm doing after the pod we have to guess can we do our next segment shopping well you can probably figure it out if you just rover dog yeah do you actually not rover but it's so remember when I was watching you can't have more than one you get one job you can't have more than one job yeah I can maybe until they pay me more I don't think you're allowed to have two jobs that's not true no no no but are you leaving here no I'm walking it's a side hustle
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Yeah, he's literally in Venice five minutes away. I'm going to go walk this cute dog for 45 minutes and then come back.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Well, I feel like girls are more, like, open, like, friends than, like, guys are around.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
They're only eating their own. Ew, that's disgusting. I would never... I don't even understand, but... You ever eaten placenta?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Oh, yeah. It's like grits, right? I like grits, I think.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I've had cream of wheat. Cream of wheat was dank when I was a kid. Okay. Pillow talk is, I think, decent.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Did you see this chest that I built? Oh, no. Cute. Oh, is that? Are those Legos? Yeah. Whoa, that's sick. I built this the other day. Wait, so cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Thank you, Grant. At least it's not placenta. It's not gross. Okay. Thank you, Greg Snydman. Next pitch is from Timothy Hart. He says... What up, Thart? Hi there, Hammerhead, Great White, and Rainbow. I'm Hammerhead. I'm Rainbow. I'm Rainbow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
I like it. Okay. Timothy says, what is the worst... I just had to pick a boogie.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Oh, God. What? What's the worst part about driving to the mall or a bar or Oktoberfest?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Let's search for parking. What a crazy list of things. Well, now you can download the newest app, ParkPal. With this app, you can be at or on your way to the busiest of locations or garages, and it will tell you where open parking spots are, how much parking is, where you will slash won't get towed, and for premium subscribers, someone will go reserve a spot for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
Get to the fun with friends faster than ever without having to search for parking. Playfully, Togatim. Oh, maybe you're supposed to use that name. Whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
I was blind for an afternoon
um whoever pitched this first i'm sorry but uh no i almost like sort of hit someone but in a really awkward way yesterday like if i hit them it would have been incredible it's an awkward way okay so we're at a light you hit like a you hit like a no like going going one like barely moving basically oh i did that i did that a couple weeks so i'm at a light in hollywood so it's like very busy i'm like almost at hollywood boulevard
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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okay star we're going to the Chinese theater to see interstellar and I was being impatient and we're at a red light and I was supposed to be turning left and there was like this so there was like room for me to go oh this is exactly what happened to me and the person isn't pulling forward and you're like
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dude yeah so i tried to pull up i tried to pull up and there was a curb right there ava was in the car with me and i like since my car's not big it wasn't a like i can't go over a curb so it like skid yep and it like kind of went like shifted and she said that my car was literally that close to me in the back of it and i was just like oh i'm so sorry the same intersection that i'm talking about uh
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I know, I know. A pleasant-smelling, colorless, volatile liquid that is highly flammable. Use it as an anesthetic.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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The clear sky, the upper regions of air beyond the clouds.
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Okay, you know what I realized a few episodes ago? What? We used to only do the voice with Teach Me Something, and now we do it with This Guy Rocks, and I couldn't remember.
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Yeah. We go, dun, dun, dun. Okay. It's the Teach Me Something.
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Probably. Look at all of his bottles in the corner.
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It's like a ledge. And there's like bugs and dirt. Bugs.
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Oh, yeah. That's what I was going to say. I thought you were going to forget it.
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Am I the asshole? Oh, I'm fine. Okay, good. Alrighty. Am I the asshole for refusing to take down my ex-girlfriend's painting? This is a burner since my wife uses Reddit. Me and my wife are currently moving into our first real house. As we were unpacking slash sorting things into different rooms yesterday, she found a painting I've had for years and asked what the story behind it was.
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Note, I've had this painting displayed for as long as she knows me, and she never had any problem with it before. My college ex-girlfriend was an artist and made the painting for me a long time ago. It's a nice scene of a park we used to frequent when we were together and is very good craftsmanship-wise, so I kept it after we broke up.
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When I told my wife this, she got really upset and asked why I wanted a reminder of my ex girlfriend in our house. She said it felt gross and that if she'd known who made it, she wouldn't have let me hang it up in our bedroom in our previous apartment. I was surprised because I didn't think it was a big deal. That relationship ended almost 10 years ago and I really just like the painting now.
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I love it. I said that she controls most of our decor, which is fine, but that I was allowed to hang my own things up too. She then stormed off into the other room and we haven't really been talking since.
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Woohoo! Oh, boy! Okay, this one says individuals with lower moisture content in their skin.
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If it's going to cause a big... Happy wife, happy life.
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It's like a ping pong. I'm going to go yellow. Okay. Other Am I the Asshole is very quick. Would I be the asshole for waking someone snoring in a movie theater? I just saw Wicked in theaters. Irrelevant opinion. Very good. And about halfway through, the woman next to me. Wait. The woman next to me fell asleep and began snoring. This was very distracting, especially during songs. I didn't.
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That does make sense because you always need that working hand.
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But in the future, would I be the asshole for waking someone up?
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you absolutely have to wait yeah um kind of on this topic ava went to the movies by herself a few weeks ago it was like a 10 p.m showing she said she wakes up at 2 a.m the theater's empty no the movie had ended like two hours ago wait don't they like sweep the oh i know no it wasn't i think it was a nora this is a while ago it's probably like a month ago um yeah she wakes up it's like 2 a.m the theater closed
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No, I'm sure there were other movies, like, wrapping up around that time, but, like, her theater was completely empty.
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I don't know. She didn't specify. Dude, that is so funny.
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I mean, I must have been like... Why did you have to carry it like that?
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Exactly. Will, are you coming to softball tonight?
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I'm just going to steal a chef's person. I've definitely done this one, but I want to get back into my healthy eating, yummy, delicious.
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Wolfgang Puck. Oh, yeah. Didn't you just meet him? Nice.
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Yeah, but part two, like the movie that just came out with Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo, or I don't know how to say her last name. Like part two is coming out next year. So for people that like this.
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Part two of Wicked. That movie that came out is part one. So part one, as the musical, it's just everything before the intermission. So then part two is after the intermission. I saw the play or the musical when I was a kid. Maybe I was eight years old. I don't remember the end of it.
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And then after the movie, I was on TikTok and I saw a video that had a huge spoiler to what happened to the characters in part two. And I wasn't the only person in the comments that were like, yo, you could have at least put a warning in.
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It's like... I understand. I just, like, it's... I'm still allowed to express that it's annoying.
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Okay. Anyway... I'm kidding. Back to... Wait, I have a funny thing related to, like, falling asleep and scared... Well, not that it really mattered when I woke up, but... So I got back from... I went to Mia's cousin's baby shower on Saturday night. Okay. And then I came home, put my peaches on, got in bed, and, like...
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Sometimes, I don't know what kind of mood I was in, but I was talking in my voice memos just about something. Sometimes I'll journal by just talking out loud. Hmm. I don't know if that's, like, strange, but... It's not relatable, but I kind of find it interesting. I was talking to my voice memos, and then... Can we listen to it?
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Yeah. That's all of them. Let's go. Yeah. Let's listen. It's pretty big for you. No, no, no. And I was talking, and then you can... But if it was, like, I, like... I shit my pants in the baby shower, and, like, everyone... You can hear the point.
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all right if you shit your skirt is that just regular pooping because it doesn't it doesn't hit anything yeah you underwear unless you're nude um no it was just funny because you could hear the point at which i was like dozing off to sleep and then i proceed to just it's like a four hour long voice memo because you fell yeah yeah and then i wake up and my phone was dead and i like kind of i had to go somewhere at 10 but yeah it was just funny to listen back to
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Einen Ball gewinnt. Das ist verrückt. Er ist nicht gut, aber du musst es doppeln. Er ist auch ein Linebacker, was eigentlich Sinn macht. Er bekommt wahrscheinlich viele Interzeptionen. Er will einen Ball. Glaubst du, dass du jemals in deinem College Hall of Fame bist? Ja. Das ist die einzige Grund, warum ich das tue. Oh, oh, oh. Sorry, sorry.
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Ja, ich glaube, es gibt College Regions, aber die Alumni Weekend, mein Vaters Grad, kommt immer noch zusammen in unserer Schule. Ich glaube, es ist wahrscheinlich auch klein genug, dass es so ist. Es ist so, als wären es nur Cocktails auf dem Boden oder so, und du könntest einfach gehen und dir als Alumni vorstellen. Ja, ich fühle mich nicht weit genug aus der Schule.
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Ja, ich denke, es ist wie ein normaler Kind. B.C. hat eine fünfjährige Reunion. Ich bin so, das fühlt sich nicht weit genug an. Jeder wird sagen, ja, ich arbeite den Job, den ich gesagt habe, den ich gemacht habe, als ich geflogen bin. Ich habe nicht so viel gemacht. Es ist genau das Gleiche. Ja, wie ein Mann, der verheiratet ist, vielleicht.
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Du musst mir genug Zeit geben, um etwas von Substanz zu machen. Mein Comedy-Grupp hat in April unser 35. Anniversaris-Show. Also geht Brett auch. Unser Freund, der sechs Jahre älter als ich ist, war in unserem Grupp. Das wird vielleicht Spaß machen. Was ist das für ein Comedy-Grupp? Das ist mein College-Comedy-Grupp. Es heißt Hello Shovelhead. Hello Shovelhead? Ja. Aber sie sind seit den 80ern da.
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Das ist cool. Du gehst zu diesen... Für eine große Reunion wie diese wird man wahrscheinlich einen Mann treffen, der wie eine Familie ist. Ich glaube, der einzige Mann in meiner Schule, der kein Athlet ist, ist Mr. Rogers. Der Mann mit den Stiefeln und den Schuhen. Wir haben eine riesige Statue von ihm auf der Klasse und es ist so, dass ich nicht denke, dass es so aussah, wie sie es wollten.
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Alle Kinder sehen aus wie... Es ist er, der auf dieser Sache lesen sitzt und es gibt alle diese Kinder um ihn herum und alle Kinder sehen aus wie dämonisch. Ja. Es ist furchtbar. Ist es in Bronze? Es ist. Das muss schrecklich sein. Es ist acht Fuß groß. Und es ist nicht... Es ist wie ein Hundert. Es ist direkt neben einem Labyrinth. Weißt du, was das ist? Oh mein Gott. Ja.
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Sie haben uns den Weg gemacht. Wie einer dieser rechten. Wie ein Maze. Wie ein echter... Ja, was? Er ist aus Stein. Aber ja. Oh mein Gott. Es ist eigentlich schwer zu finden. Du weißt, wo du bist. Aber ich meine... Es ist ein Kreis, du weißt, wo... Oh, es ist wie der Kreis 1. Ja, ja, ja. Wir waren in einer Klasse. Es ist wie für Reflexion. Du sollst es machen.
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Ja, sie haben uns alle es gemacht, aber wenn du es mit 30 anderen machst... Einer unserer Klassen ging. Ja. Und du gehst in den Labyrinth. Der ganze Punkt ist, du sollst... It's like a metaphor for life. But when there's a kid on your ass, and you're like, I gotta keep moving. It's like golfing, you're like, I gotta keep moving. Letting him play through in the labyrinth.
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That's what she said, she was like, if you, you know. Letting him pray through. Alright, that's funny. Write that down, Lord. Sprechen wir über das Gebet. Es gab eine katholische Kirche, die St. Marga Mary, auf der Straße.
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Wir brachten unseren Freund, der nicht katholisch war, und wir sagten ihm, wenn es Zeit für die Gemeinschaft ist, legt euch die Arme so fest, damit sie wissen, dass ihr nicht das Körper Gottes geben sollt. Und er hat es nicht getan, er hat es genommen, aber dann hatte er die Präsenz im Kopf, um es nicht zu essen. Wir waren auf dem Weg, wir haben nachher Bier gegessen, und er war es halten.
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Und wir waren so, yo, was... bring that out and i'd never encountered pocketed he just he was like holding it and we were we'd never encountered this problem before so we had like a little powwow and we're like what do we do with it like we can't can't like throw it out yeah so we thought about it for a couple minutes and then someone else just ate it but it was like
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laura am i crazier did we talk about this like three episodes ago this podcast has become just retelling it's like a little those are the best snacks yeah it's like a palette yeah catholic communion yeah yeah those are delicious yes yeah yeah what if they like seasoned like you had like yeah like a everything but the you bring everything but the bagel seasoning for your communion
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Ein bisschen Philadelphia-Cream-Cheese. Ja. Da ist ein Typ, der Dekan, der nur Hummus hat. Das ist ein Zohan. Das wäre großartig. Wir sollten noch einen machen. Das wäre cool. Was war es? Revenge of the Zohan? You Don't Mess with the Zohan. Adam Sandler hat einen Haardresser-Spy gespielt. Ich weiß nicht, welcher Land das ist, aber er ist der schlechteste Junge, der einen Haardresser-Spy hat.
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Adam Sandler hat sicher ein paar Schwankungen gemacht. Besonders in Happy Gilmore. Come on, dude. I'm on fucking fire alarm. You gotta turn my mic off, it's gonna break the internet. Did I ever tell you when Bruno, you know the movie Bruno, like the Sacha Baron Cohen movie Bruno. Is that his name? Yeah. Nice. Wait, the movie? Yeah. The movie.
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I'm not being serious. It was not Lauren's fault, but here is, without further ado, here is our wonderful episode with our good friend Tanner. Play that theme music, Lauren. They're gonna think it's my fault. Yes, they are, though you're winking.
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Aber es hat sich in unseren... Weißt du, wie die Fernseher und Autos manchmal auf der TV stehen? Da war so ein DVD-Player. Es hat sich in den Fernseher gestockt. Also, jedes Mal, wenn meine Mutter auf das Auto schlug, würde Bruno spielen. In deinem Familienwagen? Ja, ich glaube, sie wusste nicht, was es war.
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Und dann hat sie... Ich glaube, mein Vater fuhr und sie hat sich zurückgeschraubt, um zu sehen, was sie spielt. Und es war die Szene, wo sein Penis rumschlägt. Und sie war so... Oh! Oh! Er hat es ausgeschaltet, aber es war nicht ein guter Film. Das ist verrückt. Wie ein looser Penis? Hast du Bruno gesehen? Nein, nein. Es war hart. Er war wie ein Helikopter. Wow, wo kann ich es streamen?
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Hast du Adoleszenz gesehen? Der letzte Episode. Du hast nur den letzten Episode gesehen? Ja. Weil ich nicht in die Shows reingehe. Also hast du mit der letzten Episode angefangen? Ja, um zu sehen, ob es mich aufhört, zu sagen, dass ich die ersten drei sehen soll.
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Ich habe zwei und ein halbes gesehen. Ich habe mich schlafen lassen während der dritten. Oder vier. Ich will bis zum Schluss kommen. Ich kann dir das ganze letzte Episode erzählen. Schau, schau, schau. Aber was, wenn du es wirklich magst? Dann würde ich es wieder sehen wollen. Weißt du was ich meine?
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Weil ich muss wissen, ich fühle mich nicht, dass die Shows mich nicht klicken und mich verbinden, mich zu magnetisieren, um durch das ganze Ding zu gehen. Das ist wahr. Wenn ich das letzte Mal schaue, werde ich sagen, ich muss wissen, wie wir zu diesem Punkt gekommen sind. Das fühlt sich wahnsinnig an. Das fühlt sich großartig an. Hast du das mit Büchern gemacht?
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Er hört die letzten 10 Sekunden eines Liedes.
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Das ist ziemlich knallig. Wie der letzte Chorus geht. Ich meine, das würde wahrscheinlich eigentlich für viele Lieder funktionieren. Machst du das mit vielen Filmen? Nein, ich denke nicht. Ich fühle mich, als wäre das ein neuer Methoden, ein neuer Theorien. Ich habe etwas versucht. Und es hat dich nicht gehackt? Nein, es war wirklich gut. Gute Schauspieler. Es ist alles ein Teil.
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Ja, es ist alles ein Teil. Jedes Episode ist ein Teil. Ja. Ich verstehe nicht. Wir lachen darüber. Das kann nicht richtig sein. Es ist. Es ist verrückt. Ich glaube nicht. Also dauert es sieben Jahre, um dieses Show zu machen? Nein, es ist einfach so. Ich meine, denk daran, es ist wie ein Spiel. Sie müssen alle nur ihre Läufe super gut bemerken.
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Ist es jemals ein Zeitpunkt, wo ein Typ seine Läufe aufschlägt und sie einfach weitergehen? Ich glaube, es gibt Dinge, die nicht... Ich habe gelesen, dass der Direktor gesagt hat, dass es schmerzhaft ist, dass es nur ein Take ist. Es gab definitiv Dinge, die ich editieren wollte. Aber wir lachen über ein Extra in der 40. Minute. Wird das auch passieren? Nein, nein, nein.
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Das ist wie ein Rival-TV-Show, der einen Extra schickt, um alles abzuholen. Ich denke, es sieht gut aus. Die Schauspielung ist wirklich gut.
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Ich bin in seinem Raum gegangen, wir haben ihn im Bett gelassen und wir haben es gesehen. Es war wirklich schön. Okay, das ist besser für mich, als die letzte Episode. Das wäre cool. Als ich in der Schule war, bin ich zu Scott's Haus gegangen.
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Und ich sitze da und ich meine, ich vermute, dass jeder The Departed gesehen hat. Oh, du hast es nicht? Nein, aber ich habe keine Angst vor einem Spoiler. Okay, es ist nicht wirklich ein Spoiler. Es ist nur so, dass die letzten 15 Minuten in diesem Film ein A-List-Aktor in die Szene kommt und dann getötet wird. Ja. Und wie fünf, wie fünf Mal in der Reihe.
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Playdate Episode 95. Wir haben einen sehr, sehr, sehr, sehr besonderen Gast heute. Ja, unser guter Freund Tanner Agpun ist hier. Tanner, was geht? Hallo, Leute. Wie geht's? Ihr kennt Tanner von seinen Sketchen online. Besser genannt als Falcon manchmal. Musiker. Fantastische T-Shirt-Macher. Ja, ich bin ziemlich stolz auf die T-Shirt. Sie sehen gut aus. Sie sehen fucking toll aus.
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Ja, naja, sie kommen nicht zum ersten Mal, aber ich wusste das nicht. Sie sind alle Charaktere in diesem Film. Also sitze ich einfach und bin so, keine Ahnung, er ist in, oh, oh mein Gott, er ist, oh, fuck, oh Gott. Ja. No way, oh fuck! People were like, no way! Boom, dead, boom, dead.
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They just started killing each other in elevators. Ja, das sind die letzten 15 Minuten. Es ist so, als wäre jeder gestorben. Wie ein Mafia-Film? Was ist das?
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Ich mag deinen Ausblick auf das Leben. Ein Boston-Film, das ist ziemlich cool. Boston ist süß. Jeder, den ich von Boston getroffen habe, ist wie New Jersey. Virginia, New Jersey und Boston. Ich bin ein großer Fan von Boston. Weißt du den alten Satz? Es ist wie Virginia, New Jersey und Boston. Komm schon. Top 3. Die Hidden Gems. Arlington. Boston. Manchester. Manchester.
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Ich erinnere mich an deine Geschichte über das Departement. Ich erinnere mich an das erste Mal, als ich Fight Club gesehen habe. Mein Freund Seamus hat es gespielt. Hast du es gesehen? Ja. Hast du es gesehen? Nein. Wirklich? Nein. Aber ich habe Brad Pitt Fight Club gegoogelt. Was? Alright, elephant in the room.
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I brought some of the new accelerator to Colorado and I got a little bit excited and I forgot to put on some sunscreen. But that is the price you pay when you're having fun. Guys, new flavor alert. National Gymnastics Champion Livvy Dunn has a new signature flavor, Cotton Candy. Livvy's all-time favorite treat, but in her favorite zero sugar energy drink.
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I don't know if this matters to you guys, but it's also my favorite zero sugar energy drink. It feels like no one has asked me that in a while. The Livy Dunn Signature Flavor is a perfect 10 that will have your taste buds doing backflips without the crash. I... Tried this for the first time a couple days ago. It is delish. I like them all, but guys, this one is fantastic.
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It's got five calories, it's got zero sugar. It's got all the good stuff that your favorite accelerator has always had in it, but this time in a new, very fun flavor. Lauren, what do you love about it?
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Me too. Oh yeah, I was right. It has the same amount of caffeine. 200 milligrams, guys. And my favorite thing, what did you say to me?
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I thought you said, I don't know, 200. But here's my favorite thing about Accelerator. I've said this before and I'll say it again. I was not a fan of energy drinks because they made me anxious. Somehow, with 200 milligrams of caffeine, I do not feel anxious, but I just feel pumped all the time.
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Lauren has had to put me on some sort of rationing system because I was getting a little excited and we only have a couple of the cotton candy ones, but we're going to get more. And guys, if you... Wollt ihr euch einen Accelerator kaufen? Geht auf Amazon. Jetzt bekommt ihr 10 Dollar ab, bis April 18th. Lauren, ich stelle dir eine Frage. Was ist das Schlimmste über T-Shirts und Jeans?
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Klar. Was sagst du? Ich würde sagen, sie sind entweder zu kasuell oder zu formal. Sie bewegen sich nicht mit meinem Körper. Sie bewegen nicht meinen kleinen Tuckus. Und wenn ich rauskomme und ich bin am Bar und ich mache die Splitter, ich will, dass meine Genen so etwas machen wollen. Sie wollen sich bewegen. We want to see them move with you. Come on, I want to see them move with me.
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Tanner benutzt das gleiche Blank wie wir, was... Oh, ist das L.A. Apparel?
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The problem with normal T-Shirts and jeans is you can either wear them at the bar, but you couldn't wear them to work, or you couldn't wear them to hang out, but they're too... whatever. True classic. So flattering. They look so good.
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Pump your brakes. Lauren gets a little excited when her coworkers wear true classic. HR had to talk to her about it. Not to mention the price. You gotta forget those overpriced designer jeans that like... Wait, why... Weil ich einen Namen benötigte, als ich meinen Skit-Account begonnen habe. Ich wollte nur einen Namen, der anders ist. Und es gibt ein Video auf YouTube namens Drinking Out of Cups.
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Ja, wie ein Arschloch. Drinking Out of Cups, wie ein Arschloch. Ja, ja, ja. Und dann sagt er, wer denkst du, Tommy Noble? Ich habe es vergessen. Ich habe es nie zusammengefasst. Mr. Walkway. Ja, das ist so gut.
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und, äh, also habe ich einfach Tommy Noble gemacht, und das waren Varianten wie Thomas, ich glaube, was ist das coolste Teil von Kansas, oh, was war das, ich dachte nur, wo fangen Sie überhaupt an, ja, da ist eine Helle, es ist wunderschön, wo sind Sie aus Kansas, Overland Park, wo ist das, oh, das ist, wo die
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Someone lived there? Jason Sudeikis is from there. Wow. I'd step out for Jason Sudeikis. Maybe, is that like where the guys in the Chiefs live or something? No. Yes, Patrick Mahomes lives in, yeah, he built a house in Overland Park, I believe.
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Yeah. How do you know that? I don't know. Brittany. Jackson. Taylor.
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Yes. That's cool. Are you a Chiefs fan? You're all Kansas sports? Okay. Well, not huge. It got me into football though. I didn't watch NFL until the Chiefs. I would go to the games, but it was like more of a drinking spectacle. And then when they got good, it was like, oh, I actually want to watch this. And like,
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We work with one of the guys, well, sort of a roundabout way, but Travis Kelsey is also sponsored by Accelerator. Yes, and Livvy Dune. And Livvy Dune, yeah. And good company. Yeah, it's sort of the big four of their brand image. I guess they go for all athletes, is like their branding. Andy Reid lebt neben meinen Großeltern in Dana Point. Und sie haben gefragt, ob ich ihn mal treffen wollte.
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Und sie hatten gerade die Pats in der AFC Championship gewonnen. Und ich war so verrückt darüber, dass ich gesagt habe, nein. Und dann habe ich mich eine Woche später entspannt. Ich dachte, das wäre cool. Das wäre toll gewesen. Hast du die Videos von Andy Reid als Kind gesehen, als Verteidiger? Er ist so 6'5, 200 Kilo, bulliert diese kleinen Kinder. Ich habe ihn in den Punt, Pass und Kick gesehen.
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Er kann einen Punt im Fußball wie eine Meile. Just doesn't make sense. Andy Reid can punt a football over that mountain. Oh, you know Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite is the guy from White Lotus now? Oh, what? Not yet. Have you watched the first two? First what? Any of the White Lotus? No, no. First two episodes. He's only watched the last episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Nein, wirklich? Ich habe es Tanner vorhin gesagt. Ich... I wasn't expecting you to come bearing gifts, so I already ordered this one. Oh yeah, this is good news for me. Will and I already have to coordinate our outfits on a day-to-day basis to make sure we're not wearing the same thing. And now, another t-shirt in the rotation. Yeah, as long as you don't get into jeans, I think we're safe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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There's only one guy that's in all three seasons? Gary. Yeah, that's Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite. He looks so cool. Because that was like, what, 25 years ago?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Nein, ich habe noch nicht den neuesten gesehen. Warte, ist nicht Snape drin? Snape ist der, der... Oh, in Napoleon Dynamite? Nein, ist nicht Snape in White Lotus? Snape ist in Love Actually, das war ein Traum. Oh, Alan Rickman ist gestorben. Ich dachte, er heißt Snape, und ich dachte, ja, ich weiß. Wait, who do you think? Oh, so the character died? I haven't seen Deathly Hallows.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You haven't seen, is that the seventh one? No, I'm kidding.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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He like gives him his tear and it's like, it's the memory. Yeah. I've been getting into Star Wars finally.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ich dachte, das wäre Dua Lipa, aber ich dachte, es wäre eine neue Runde. Das ist die gleiche Scheiße.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ja. Es ist ziemlich brutal, hier zu hören, dass es Drehplätze gibt, die wir nicht machen können. Ich weiß, ich will eine Banane für Lizzo. Lauren hat uns nie das gemacht. Ich habe eine Banane für Lizzo online für Jahre verabschiedet. Ich habe keine Ahnung. Ich habe keine Ahnung.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, auf der Bühne? Ja, ich glaube, sie hat jemanden dazu gemacht. Weißt du, was ich tun möchte? Wie heißt die Banane? The Thunder Down Under.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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There's this ad, every time we go to Vegas, there's this big ad for, it's like Mad Men for, or no, what's it called? Magic Mike. Magic Mike. It's like Magic Mike for Australians. It's just these like jacked dudes in jeans and cowboy hats and apparently they rough you up on stage.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It looks awesome. They like spin you around and like pick you up. Well, they don't pick you up, but, or, I don't. They beat you up? Well, I don't know. Wait, you know? No, I don't know. Er hat gesagt, nein, ich habe gefragt. Ich habe nur gegoogelt, dass sie dich nicht holen. Holen sie dich auf Magic Mike? Ich mag es nicht, wenn man sich holt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Meine Freundin hat vor ein paar Jahren auf einem Mädchen-Trip geflogen. Für jemandens Geburtstag. Ich glaube, es war nur Magic Mike. Eine der Regeln ist, dass man keine Stiefel tragen muss. Man kann keine Stiefel tragen. Die Art, wie sie diese Mädchen auf der Bühne spinnen, ist so hart, dass dein Stiefel aufstehen würde. Es ist so hart.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Können wir das aufrufen? Lauren, bist du so wie, nein, Emma Chamberlain ist nicht hier. Ja, das wäre großartig gewesen. Liebst du Emma Chamberlain?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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He was my high school. Cool guy. I can't pick her.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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We would have been so mean to her. Oh my god, I would have pantsed her. Alright, let's roleplay. Tanner is Emma Chamberlain. Lauren, you're you. Tanner, you walk in. Lauren, what do you say to Emma Chamberlain?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I'm just in town for a little coffee pop-up and goodness gracious, I love this place.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Tanner on the way in. Every sponsor of the pod, Tanner, coincidentally already has on him. I was like, do you want an accelerator? He's like, brought my own. I pulled out my Lucys and he was like, oh no way, do you like the Lucy Breakers? I was like, yeah man, who are you? I don't partake, but I like the brand. Yeah, it's good. Good branding. Yeah, they're good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Stopp mit dem Charakter! Sorry, ich spreche... Ich erkläre meine Gedanken. Sie denkt schon, du bist ein Freak.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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That might be creepier. Cool. I almost hit her with my car once. Emma Chamberlain?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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He makes shit up all the time about celebrities. He's seen Ronnie James, Andre 3000, and Emma Chamberlain.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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You saw Ronnie? Das war eine weniger coole Geschichte. Aber Emma Chamberlain und ihr Rolemodel waren auf der Straße von Sketchy Phil, meinem Freund Sketchy Phil, in Main. Und ich kam über diesen Humpf und sie waren auf der Straße. Und wir riefen aus dem Weg. Und wir waren so, wer sind diese Arschloch? Und dann kamen wir rum, es war Tucker. Und dann sagten wir, wer ist die Frau mit ihm?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Wahrscheinlich Emma Chamberlain. Wahrscheinlich Emma Chamberlain. Okay, also ich habe fast eine Frau mit ihm getroffen. Wie nah warst du, wenn du sie getroffen hattest? Fünf Fuß.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ja, wenn es sie war, hättest du sie getroffen. Skechie Phil. Ja, Legend. Oh mein Gott. Großartiger Kerl. Ich habe ihn gesehen. Ja, er hat ihn in Boston ein paar Tage ago gesehen. Es war tatsächlich in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. Er versucht. Pittsburgh. Mac. Wiz. Khalifa. Miller. Mac Miller. Was war es von Pittsburgh? Ich weiß es nicht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ja, sie hatten einen riesigen... Ich bin auf dem Berg gefahren und sie hatten einen riesigen Wall, den ich gegenfuhren musste. Es waren all diese... ...ikonischen, schwarzen Figuren aus der Geschichte. Und dann war es Wiz Khalifa. Und ich dachte, das ist irgendwie lustig. Ich glaube, das macht Sinn.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ich dachte, du würdest sagen, es waren all diese eikonischen, schwarzen Figuren aus der Geschichte und dann Mac Miller. Nein, das wäre lustig gewesen. Das wäre echt lustig gewesen. Was? Das passt nicht so gut. Es gab diese sehr wunderschönen Muralen auf dem Wasser. Und dann kam Wiz Khalifa. Okay. He finished off. Yeah. It all went up to this. Is it that time?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Roadmap. Tanner, this is where we tell the people at home what they're going to hear on this podcast. Sort of intro of the podcast. We do about an hour of banter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ich weiß, ich habe Ideen gebracht. Du hast Drafts gebracht. Okay, cool, cool. Für Gäste, die zum ersten Mal hier sind, das ist das erste Mal, dass wir uns treffen. Ich fühle mich schmerzhaft, wenn ich dir alle Segmente schicke. Weil es fühlt sich wie viel Arbeit an.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ich weiß nicht, ob sie es sich interessiert. Ja, natürlich ist er cool jetzt, aber was, wenn er nicht cool wäre? Ja, er hätte weirder gewesen. All right, wir haben einen wunderschönen Episode für euch heute. Wir hören eure Pitches, dann unsere Pitches. Dann machen wir alle ihre Lieblingssegmente. Dieser Kerl rockt. Dieser Kerl rockt. Okay. Okay. Randy Jackson? Der Randy Jackson.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Weißt du, ob Randy Jackson Michael Jacksons Bruder ist? Nein, er ist es nicht. Google es. Michael Jackson hat einen Bruder namens Randy. Verstehst du mich? Aber ein anderer Typ. Oh mein Gott. Die Art, wie die Welt manchmal funktioniert, ist unglaublich. Es ist unglaublich. Wir sind wirklich... Wir sind so glücklich. Wie glücklich sind wir, so glücklich zu sein?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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They make my friend really happy and that matters to me. Good man. All right, first Playdate episode since we are officially Webby-nominated. Yeah, this is a Webby-nominated podcast now. So, Tanner, how does that feel for you? Are you nervous now? I'm a little nervous, yeah. Can you put in like a clap track? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lauren, put a clap track in right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Wir leben in einer Zeit, in der es zwei Randy Jacksons gibt. Das ist verrückt. Das ist alles, was ich gehofft habe. Okay, Korn. Bevor wir die Rekorde begannen, kam Lauren und sagte, mit keinem Verständnis, meine Jeans werden am Ende des Tages ausfallen. Und dann ging sie raus. Das passiert mit vielen Frauen, die mit uns abhängen. Komm schon! Ja, Sir!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Bäckig. In Minnesota? In Chicago. In Chicago.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Schlonka-Dunka. Ich bin Dookie. Wir können beide Bunkle sein. Du kannst Schlonka sein. Du kannst Dunka sein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, Mann. Tanner, du beginnst. Was ist das Schlimmste am Wachen in der Mitte der Nacht? Die Angst. Die Angst. Wahrscheinlich nicht, weil ich nicht weiß, wo ich bin. Und es ist dunkel. Und wenn du wachst, erwartest du, dass es leuchtend ist. Du wachst normalerweise später am Morgen. Und du denkst dir, ich weiß nicht, was da los ist. In dieser Flur von Verwirrung. Keiner ist wach.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Du bist der Einzige, der allein ist. Verdammt, wieder. Ich muss das alles wieder machen. Heute.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ich bin froh, dass du es verstanden hast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Du wachst in der Mitte der Nacht. Es wird dir sagen, was dich aufgewacht hat. Und dann wird es es lösen. Was, wenn es existenzielle Schmerzen ist? Ich habe eine verrückte Geschichte gehört. Diese Frau war im Babysitzen und der Junge hat sie angerufen, um zu sagen, hey, da ist ein Monster unter meinem Bett, wie Kinder es tun. Und dann schaust du, und du denkst, da ist nichts drunter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Sie hat sich da angeschaut und da war ein Mann drunter. Are you kidding me? So the guy somehow got out and they didn't catch him for a day or two. I think it was one of the ones where she was sleeping over at the house because the parents were gone. How do you go to bed after that? There's no way. You never sleep again. Put your bed on the floor. Das ist verrückt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ja, das ist der einzige Grund, warum er reingegangen ist, weil es Raum unter dem Bett gab. Er baut ein Loch. Wir dachten, es wäre ein Typ in unseren Wänden, in vielen Häusern in Florida. Als ich in der Schule war, lebten wir in drei verschiedenen Häusern. Und in jedem Haus waren wir überzeugt, dass es ein Typ war in den Ducks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Und die einzige Zeit, in der wir realistische, konkrete Beweise hatten, oder etwas, das nicht konkret ist, aber etwas, das tatsächlich... Es war immer ein Geräusch da und es klingelte, als würde jemand sich umdrehen, aber es war Florida, es war ein altes Haus und es war ein Raccoon oder so. Einer der Wände war direkt über Harper, mein Freund Harpers Klause.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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All right, now Tanner, say something funny and Lauren, put in a laugh track. I believe in three things. Democracy, sleep, and angels. Okay. Das war gut. Das war gut gesagt. Also, ich weiß nicht, ich werde ehrlich sein, ich weiß nichts. Ich habe einige deiner Videos in den letzten Wochen gesehen, aber ich weiß nichts über dich oder dein Leben. Also, ich möchte wissen, was du über dein Leben sagst.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Und alle seine Schuhe waren am Morgen weich. Und er war so, das ist seltsam. Und so schaut er in den Vent und wir haben so ein Stück Tape auf die Sache gelegt, damit wenn der Typ raus kam, es bricht. Die klassische Tür. Du, wir kamen am nächsten Tag, die Tape war kaputt und seine Schuhe waren wieder nackt. Was, wenn es wie ein Tier war? Ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Er saugte, trank einen Schlauch und fuhr zurück und forth. Aber ich erinnere mich... Oder du denkst, es war nur ein wettiger Kerl, der dort lebte? Wer weiß. Ich glaube, wir dachten, er... Wer weiß. Wer weiß, Mann. Wir dachten, er schlug in die Schuhe. Aber ich erinnere mich, er schlug in die Schuhe. Wir wissen, dass du da bist, um dich zu erschrecken. Du und all deine Freunde hatten Schizophrenie.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Aber wir... Ich rief die Kinder... Weißt du, du würdest mich in die Schule folgen? Ja. Ich habe mal einen Jungen angerufen, weil wir in einem der anderen Häuser einen Schlafzimmer hatten und wir waren überzeugt, dass er dort war. Aber ich wollte nicht schauen, also habe ich einen neuen Jungen angerufen, um auf einen Schlafzimmer zu kommen. Und er hat gesagt, dass da niemand da ist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Er hat geschaut. Er hat geschaut und gesagt, dass da niemand da ist. Oh mein Gott. Er ist ehrgeizig. Ehrgeizige Seele. Ich denke, ich habe Skunk unter meinem Haus. Warum ist das so? Because, well, recently, our dog got hit in the face by a skunk and that, like, stunk up our whole house. Wait, what do you mean?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Und so 20 Füße wegzunehmen. Das wäre so cool. Du meinst, der ganze Skunk hat ihn getroffen? Oder der ganze Skunk hat ihn getroffen? Nein, sie haben eine verrückte Präzision, glaube ich. Von 20 Füßen hat er einen Spray direkt zwischen den Händen getroffen. Oh, Skunk-Spray. Ich habe ihn gesprayt. Ja, und es ist der größte rancide Geruch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Es ist wie nichts, wie nichts, wie nichts, wie nichts, wie nichts, wie nichts, wie nichts. Und dann am nächsten Morgen... Es war um fünf Uhr morgens. Ich bin nach Hause gekommen und mein Freund war auf dem Kühlschrank. Ich dachte, er hätte einen Panikattack. Ich fragte ihn, ob er okay ist. Er sagte, es sind Skunk oder so. Der Geruch macht dich sofort nervös.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Wir sind überzeugt, weil es eine kleine... Es gibt eine untergründige Seite unseres Hauses. Ja. Ich denke, es bedeutet, wenn es einen Ursprung gibt, dass es unter irgendeinem natürlichen Ding geht. Ich hoffe, es gibt keinen Ursprung. Ja, ich auch. We had a fisher cat under our porch one time. Have you ever seen a fisher cat? No. Vicious animal. Usually you can tell. Like a mountain lion?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Fish or cat. We had a fish or cat. They're like these crazy... They're fucking vicious. And one was under our... Ja, sie sehen aus wie kleine Bärs. Eine war unter unserer Bühne und mein Hund kam auf unsere Bühne und hatte einen Schmerz auf ihrem Gesicht und war so schmutzig. Wir waren so, okay, da ist was drunter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Wir haben meinen Vater angerufen und er hatte noch einen 22er Schlüssel für diese kleine Waffe. Und er war so, ich glaube, ich habe einen in meiner Socktasche. Er kam also von der Arbeit nach Hause. Wir hatten einen Schlag. Und er sagte, wenn ich es verliere, wird es wie ein Schmerz aus der Hölle kommen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Und ich stand auf der anderen Seite des Lohnes, weil er sagte, wenn ich es verliere, weil er lag, er sagte, ich habe nicht genug Zeit, um mich zu verliere, wenn ich es verliere. Und er hat es verlaut. Und ich habe das Bild hier. Ich halte es. Es ist das Schlimmste. Es ist das Schlimmste in der Welt. Warum hältst du es? Ich denke, er sagte, wir müssen es fangen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Er sagte, was für eine andere Chance hast du, dass du so nah zu einem Fischerkat kommst? Fischerkat? Mein Gott. Put a picture right here. They look cute. Pull up their scream, Lauren. Their scream sounds like a baby crying. It's terrifying. Your dad is a freaking sniper. He's tall, too. He's handsome. Everyone here is really tall as well. Thank you. Is that terrifying?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Playdate. I have bad news. So we had our guest Tanner come on. I was very excited about this. We had a great episode. We still have a great episode for you guys today. But somewhere around the two, three minute mark, the video, we don't have the video for it. Wir haben das Audio, danke Gott. Lauren hat nichts falsch gemacht. Es gibt keinen Grund, an jemanden zu wütend zu sein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, I don't like that at all. Meine Großmutter hat einmal meinen Großvater am Arbeitstag angerufen und gesagt, dass es einen Panzer in unserem Hintergrund gab. Wir lebten in Mainz. Und wenn ihr etwas über Mainz wisst... Panzer sind nicht nativ in Mainz, soweit ich weiß. Und sie hat ihn angerufen und er hat gesagt, das ist falsch. Es ist wie ein Hund oder so. Google es vielleicht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ja, ja. Oh, du lebst in L.A.? Ja. Okay, got it. Ich glaube, einer der Videos, die ich gerade gesehen habe, war in San Francisco. Ja, das war eine Tange. Und dann war er so, er kommt am Dienstag. Ich war so, ist er von San Francisco gefahren am Dienstag? Das ist so, was du brauchst. Ja, ich war so, ich würde es respektieren. Ich war so, ich war so, ich war so, ich war so, ich war so,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Sie haben einen Panther in Maine gefunden. Sie wurde 30 Jahre später richtig verstanden. Bist du seriös? Es gab viele Berichte und Diskussionen über Panther-Sightings in Maine. Einen Black Panther? Ja. Ich glaube, es ist nur ein Jaguar mit einer Lack von Haut. Das wäre wahrscheinlich das, was ich am stärksten Angst habe. Ein Jaguar? In der Dschungelkirche. Wow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Was ist das, was du am liebsten im Jungle Kingdom Angst hast? Eine Giraffe. Ja. Sie sehen so freundlich aus. Ja, sie sind chill. Sie können dich aufhören, aber nicht mich. Sie stompfen. Sie würden mich nicht aufhören. Sie schlagen nicht mit ihren Nächten. Sie schlagen sie um. Sie schlagen sie um. Wie ein Tetherball. Ja. Ich will auf David Dobrik's Freund schlagen und dann... David Dobriks Freund?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ja, ich erinnere mich an ihn. Jeff Wittig. Er hat ihn mit dem... Er hat seinen Freund fast getötet. Hast du das gehört? Nein, nie. Er hat ihn von einem Exkubator getötet. Und dann ist der Typ weggefallen und hat den Exkubator getötet und ist fast gestorben. Oh mein Gott. Er hat noch Surgen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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holy crap i want to do that with a giraffe i would never do that to you either all right should we do our pitches i have another oh sorry all right that was all we got that far off from one pitch yeah we're guys i have another one we like to chat and banter um
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, I'm getting really into leaving notes for my neighbors. I had to do it again. This person parks, she doesn't pull into her spot. So she's parked diagonal in the spot that you need to get out of. Es ist also entweder, dass du dein Auto auf die Wand schraubst oder du ihr Auto schraubst. Und wir haben eine Note gelegt. Ich habe eine lange Note gelegt. Wir stellen ein Bild davon hier.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Und es war im Grunde so, dass du musst wissen, wie verrückt das ist. Bitte stopp das. Und sie waren besser daran. Und dann, wenn ihr Mann da rausgeht. Ich bin mir ziemlich sicher, dass er der ist, der sagt, du musst in deinen Spot ziehen. Und dann, wenn er aus der Stadt geht, parkt sie sich diagonal im Mittelpunkt. Ich hasse sie. Ich hasse sie so viel.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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We had an idea for, it was called Uber Crash, where it's way cheaper, but the car crashes all the way down to you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Von Sydney. Nice. Down and out. So picture this whole thing on the left side of the road. An important detail. Another toilet swirl the other way. Are you serious? You're on the other side. Anywhere on the other side of the equator it spins the other way. Is this a real thing? Swear to God. Ja. Wegen der Physik oder wegen des... Es ist wie die Erde, weil es alles Richtung Zentrum fliegt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Die Toilette wird mit der Erde bewegen. Schau mal, warum es das macht. Ja, es ist wie eine Hemisphäre. Ich weiß nicht, was du Google machst. Toilette. Toilette. Toilette. Toilette. Toilette. Toilette. Toilette. Toilette. Toilette. Okay, so... Oh. I don't wear glasses. No, it's a myth.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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But I heard it. Yeah, I also heard that. My brother told me that. Wait, my brother told me that once. Yeah. Alright, you live and you learn. We have to go to Australia and find out. Yeah, I gotta get my eyes on this. Believe it when I see it. Alright, guys, what is the worst part about writing a card? A greeting card, a thank you card, a Valentine's Day card, anything you can imagine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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What's the worst part about it? It's personalized to someone. Mainly the joke. Lauren?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Du willst es nicht wirklich schreiben. Tanner war am nahesten. Es ist so, dass die Lüge persönlich zu ihnen gehören und sie wie eine innere Lüge bezeichnen. Es ist schwer zu erinnern, auch wenn du dich wirklich um jemanden kümmerst. Es ist schwer zu erinnern, wie viele Punkte du schießen willst. Ich habe den Namen eingeladen, aber die perfekte Karte gibt dir Prompte.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Warte, können wir das nicht abschalten? Ich will keine Dachspots haben. Ich bin eigentlich für Musik hierhergekommen. Wie geht es euch? Willi und ich haben uns, als wir Junioren oder Seniorinnen in der Schule waren, kennengelernt. Wir haben ein Jahr zusammen gelebt. Wir sind hierhergekommen, wurden von dieser Firma verabredet. Und dann, nach der Abschaffung, sind wir beide hierhergekommen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Er fragt dich ein paar Fragen über deine Beziehung zu dieser Person. Und dann ist es so, dass das die Dinge sind, die du in deiner Karte anfangen solltest. Also, wenn es eine Valentine's Day Karte ist oder so etwas, wird es so sein. Was sind deine Lieblingserinnerungen mit ihnen? Was sind deine inneren Lachen? Was auch immer. Und dann ist es so, dass du diese Blöcke schaffst.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Du hast die perfekte Karte. Es ist eine Art, die persönliche Elemente von der Karte zu entfernen. Ich mag das. Ich mag das. Ich will nicht darüber nachdenken. Ja. Honestly, I want to spend the least amount of time thinking about you as possible and just get this car down. It's like a way to automate one of the last ways we are really still connected. Come on. Oh yeah. Buzzing. Sold. Hallmark.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Pitch me, Willie. Oh, the semi-wet paper towel. Ja, endlich. Ich habe schon gesagt, dass sie zu dünn sind. Weil wenn ich etwas brauche, dann muss ich es auch dünn machen. Oder meine Hände dünn machen, oder was auch immer. Letzte Nacht habe ich Tacos gegessen. Und ich habe ein paar Sachen auf meinen Händen, die ein bisschen nass waren. Aber dann willst du deine Hände nicht nur nass sein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Du musst nass und trocken sein. Also es ist eine Papier-Tasche, die halb nass, halb trocken ist. Also du benutzt die nassere Hälfte und dann die trockene Hälfte. Oh, das ist fantastisch. Ich dachte, du hättest nur die nassere Papier-Tasche. Nein, nein, nein. Also es ist nass und dann trocken, wie du gehst. Ja. Es ist wie ein... Conveyor belt. Danke.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Finally someone can bail me out here when a thought is clearly going nowhere. That's awesome. Thank you guys. Alright guys, this episode is brought to you by Mudwater. Mudwater is natural mushroom-based energy. We got cacao, we got lion's mane, we got cordyceps, we got chaga, we got reishi, we got cinnamon, we got turmeric, we got some Himalayan salt for you. Here's what I like to do.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Cozy Vibes. Cozy Vibes. Will und ich waren ein bisschen skeptisch über dieses ganze Mushroom-Ding, bis ich Mudwater probiert habe. Jetzt sehe ich es. Ich bin an Bord. Leute, das Beste an Mudwater ist, dass es eine bestehende Energie bietet, ohne die Spiken und den Crash von traditionellem Kaffee.
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Keep your energy natural and refreshing all year long with Mudwater because life's too short for anything less than clean, delicious energy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Alright, should we do... This guy rocks, this guy rocks, this guy rocks today. Alright, Lauren, pause this immediately, and I mean immediately. This is a news reporter. Oh, is this the guy who cusses like he's on Spongebob? Alright, I know. Where is everybody, Lauren? Oh, yeah, this guy cusses like he on Spongebob. He cusses like he on Spongebob. I'm so excited.
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Wir haben hier angefangen. Keine Ahnung, was für eine Schule? I went to Boston College. Yeah, Will went to the Harvard of Boston. And then I went to the Harvard of the South. Ever heard of it? Rollins College? Yes. Prestigious. So you guys met from different colleges? No, we, okay, he told that story in a weird way. We got hired by this company.
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This is a news reporter covering a story in the hood. And shots start flying. Let's just hear how he reacts to this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh Gott, Weihnachtsabend. Warte, Pause, Pause, Pause. Es ist lustig, weil das ein paar Mal passiert ist, wo ein unfassbarer Teil von diesen Plätzen ist, dass es so viel passiert, dass sie wissen, wie sie es beheben. Ich reagiere genauso. Aber es ist verrückt. Sie ist so ruhig. And he's never... Good lord! Can we listen to it one more time? Name is Yolanda. Y-O-L-A-N-D-A Mother of Christmas Eve!
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What the fuck? Das klingt so, als ob er standen würde, aber ich glaube, dass er das wahrscheinlich bekommt. Mutter des Weihnachtsabends. Das war am Top. Wie kam das raus? Das ist unglaublich. Mutter des Weihnachtsabends. Das ist in meinem Arsenault. Wenn du um dich zu sterben wärst, What were his last words? The last thing you get out is Mother of Christmas Eve. Good Lord!
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This is liked by me already, look. Oh yeah. I think he probably got his braces off. That guy rocks. He's got something to him. They have a whole cheerleading thing for this. What's brutal though is that right there. When he steps off, he gets... He did a toe tap. That was special.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ich erinnere mich an Stoke, um meine Braceletten wegzunehmen, aber wenn sie mir das auf dem Weg nach Hause machen, würde ich sie wieder anziehen. Ich will das nicht tun. Mein Bruder hatte Braceletten für eine lange Zeit und ich glaube, er hat sie ein wenig zu spät bekommen, also hatte er Braceletten, als er 18 war und er fuhr zur Orthodontistin. Without my parents consent. And said, I'm 18 now.
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Like on his 18th birthday. He's like, take these off of me. Right now. They were like, you're not done with your treatment. You need six more months. He was like, I don't give a fuck. The orthodontist was like, please. I really think he was like, I'm not asking. Take them off me right now. They had to because he was 18 now. What a badass. Yeah, I know. He was in college though.
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Ja, und dann haben sie uns zusammengefordert und jetzt sind wir gute Jungs. Sie haben uns zusammengemeldet und uns einen Podcast gestartet. Es ist wie die unbekannte Stream-Theorie. Ja, genau. Das ist ein Industrie-Planet-Podcast. Oh mein Gott, das ist süß. Ja, das ist ziemlich süß. Wann hast du angefangen, Videos zu machen? Ich glaube, im August 2023. Und dann...
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I mean, he was going to college. Did you get braces, Willie?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Zwei Mal, ja. Weißt du, wie sie einen Mold von deinen Zähnen nehmen? Ich liebe das. Hatten sie dir den Geschmack ausgewählt? Bubblegum, jedes Mal. Nein, der Mold. Ich habe keinen Geschmack. Nein, es wäre wie Minz oder Bubblegum. Dr. Shems, wenn du da bist, wenn du in der größten Kumberlander Stadt bist, Und du willst Braceletten? Dr. Shems. Es war toll.
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Du konntest deinen Retainer machen, was du willst. Ich glaube, meine Schwester hatte eine Mexikanische Flagge. Oder war das deine Schwester? Jemandes Schwester. Du konntest alles wählen, was du willst. Und ihre Retainer waren eine Mexikanische Flagge. Das ist so süß.
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Das ist so süß. Das ist so süß. Siehst du ihn?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Ich denke, ich habe das klar gemacht, weil er weiß ist. Er ist der Beste. Ich war im Frühjahr-Training-Spiel, und derjenige neben mir verkaufte Fotos für Charity. Er hat das Spiel, in dem du warst? Für Charity? Er ist so schnell.
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Ich versuche nicht zu glauben, dass er es für Charity verkauft. Warte, nein, es war... Es war für diese... Warte, warum? Ich weiß nicht. Ich würde es packen. Das ist alles, was ich sage. Wir waren in der... Wir waren in einer Frontsektion eines Fußballspiels. Es wäre ein seltsamer Ort, um Leute zu skammen. Aber du weißt es nicht. Niemand fragt dich.
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Es war ein 90-jähriger Mann mit einem Paket, der erklärte, was die Charity tat. Es war wie ein Envelope, den du ins Spiel gibst, das für die Charity bemerkt wurde. Ich werde auch ein bisschen fragwürdig.
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Okay, cool. Okay, this is... Das ist ein April-Fools-Prank, den Willys-Mets-Poll damals gemacht hat. Ich glaube, es ist einer der größten April-Fools-Prank der Zeit. An diesem Tag im Jahr 1985 wurde ein Artikel in Sports Illustrated veröffentlicht, das erzählt, dass ein neuer Mets-Pitcher Sid Finch einen Hiking-Boot auf einem Fuß und keinen Schuh auf dem anderen hat.
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Und er hat einen 168-Mile-an-Hour-Fastball gespielt. Der Artikel bezeichnete Bilder mit dem Metz-Fahrzeugführer Ron Reynolds, der sich nach einer Ballpensession mit Finch gebrüht hat. Laut dem Artikel wurde er von dem Manager des Metz AAA-Farmteams, den Tidewater Tides, entdeckt.
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Finch hat seine unique Pitching-Fähigkeit demonstriert, indem er einen Soda-Bottel explodiert und einen Tintenkann aus einem Fensterpost knallt. Und sie bezeichnen ihn mit diesem Bugle, ich glaube, das war ein großes Ding. He had strict conditions for participating in the Mets training camp.
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Privacy during off hours, no involvement in team drills, private pitching sessions and no press or photographs. This is his locker. He'd bring his bugle everywhere. Und es war so, es war so, es war so überzeugend, dass die Leute glaubten, dass es tatsächlich einen Mann gab, der 168 Meilen pro Stunde flog. Das ist das Beste, was ich je gehört habe. Und dann wurde es in April Fools gesagt, Frank.
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Ja, ich habe schon vorher Musik-TikToks gemacht, aber mein bester Freund hat YouTube-Accounts und Instagram-Accounts gegründet, um sie aufzulösen. Und ich dachte mir, was zur Hölle? Und dann ging er zu all diesen coolen Events. Ich wollte das mal probieren. Und er hat einfach gesagt, poste jeden Tag. Und ich habe das einfach mit Skizzen gemacht, weil das lustig war. Das ist großartig.
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Und jetzt haben wir einen perfekten Buch. Das ist so ein cooler Charakter. Ja, das ist ein Buch mit ihm in es. Ich würde gerne mit dem Mann hangen. Ja.
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Manangahila. Manangahila. Manangahila. That's pretty close. Anyway, the fun fact about them is that they're all derived from indigenous words and they all mean some version of river. Oh, that's lovely. Even Ohio? Ohio means river. In what? It means great river. Look up Ohio. What? What does Ohio mean? Ohio bedeutet Great River in Iroquois. Also der Ohio-River ist der Great River-River.
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Und dann ist Manangahela der River-River. Und dann ist Allegheny der Wett-Stream-River. Das sind alles sehr verschiedene Versionen, die nur River-River bedeuten. Ich mag das.
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A college in Ohio. Oh, shout out Dayton. Where did you go to school? Ich bin in Johnson County Community College gegangen. Wo war das? In Kansas? Ja, ich war im Park. Ich kannte einen Mann, der in Dayton, Ohio rappte.
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Shaker Heights? Das ist sein Name? Nein, das war in Cleveland. Was ist mit Shaker Heights? Wir haben den guten Bruder Shaker Heights. Er kommt aus Marrakesch. It was Kid Cudi. I got 99 problems. Tanner, you are the guest, so you get to pick. Would you like to start with sayings that don't exist or cocktails that don't exist? Sayings that don't exist. These are more sayings that don't exist.
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What do you got? Tuning your guitar after you've started the song. You gotta prepare before you do something. Once you're doing it, it's no time for more preparation. Sorry, it's no time for more adjustments. You're already in it. Make do with what you got.
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This is someone who can't take agency and just make an executive decision themselves. And they're always just waiting for someone else to make the call. I love that. That's really good. Okay. Nun, das ist eine Georgia Skyline. Und es ist etwas, was schön ist. Gut gemacht.
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Du kannst keinen Punkt bekommen, wenn du es nicht über die Netze bekommst. Du kannst alles anders machen, aber wenn du den wichtigsten Teil verlierst, der offensichtlich sein könnte, wirst du nicht erfolgreich sein. Ja, einfach über die Netze kommen.
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Du hast einen neuen EP rausgekommen? Ja. Einer ist ein paar Monate hergekommen und der andere kommt im Mai raus. Wie hast du Musik gelernt? Mein bester Freund, der die Kanäle startet, begann mit dem Freestyle Musik zu machen, als er zwölf war. Aber er ist mein bester Freund seit Kindergarten. Er ist nach Oklahoma in der dritten Klasse geflogen. Und dann... Wir waren in Kontakt.
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Alright, there are some things that are better off just take them for what they are. You don't need to dive into it, just accept reality. That's fantastic. Well done. This is so good. If it ain't another arrow in the post. Yes. I don't know what that means. I'm not 100% sure. Maybe like, if it ain't another arrow in the post. Like another wound, like another...
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Ja, vielleicht ist es ein weiterer Schmerz für deine Geschichte. Ja, ja, ja. Ein weiterer Schmerz auf der Post. Ja, ich mag das. Läuft ein Kabel in den Regen. Setz dich auf für Erfolg. Eigentlich, was würde das bedeuten? Ich mag nur das Bild davon. Es würde nicht funktionieren. Es ist wirklich schön. Läuft ein Kabel in den Regen. Vielleicht findet man Hoffnung, wo es keine ist.
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Ja, trotz aller Chancen kann man immer noch brennen. Ja. You gotta put yourself in the best position to do something before you do it. Well, that's like the sad version of it. It's like that it's not working. But if you were able to light it in the rain, it'd be like... That was not my best.
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It takes one hand to lock a door and a lot more to break it down. Woohoo! Das ist... Komm schon, Willi. Es ist leicht, jemanden oder etwas aus deiner Leben zu schließen. Und es ist viel schwieriger, auf der anderen Seite zu arbeiten, deinen Weg zurück zu bringen. Ja. Versuche, gute Beziehungen zu behalten und nicht Menschen zu alienieren.
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Denn es ist viel schwieriger, sich zu bewegen, wenn du weggegangen bist. Ja.
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Es ist wie neurologische Pathways und gute Habits. Ja. Bingo. Ja. Oh ja. Das ist so gut. Okay. Da geht Luther. Ich weiß nicht. Ehrlich gesagt, ich bin einfach so... Maybe like this, there was a guy from back in the day named Luther, and he would always just sprint, or like he was just a wild, wry kid. And so it has to do with people that, when they're...
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Wenn sie einfach losgehen, wie wenn sie trank werden, wandern sie immer einfach. Da geht Luther. Da geht Luther, oh ja. Gibt es Cocktails, die nicht existieren? Das war wirklich gut. Ihr seid gut daran. Wir haben unsere Arbeiten gegründet.
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Das sind Cocktails, die nicht existieren. Okay, äh, ich habe die Chartini. Äh, es ist gebratenes Holz in einem Glas äh, und dann riechst du Gin in es und es riecht wie altes Holz. Das ist wahrscheinlich so gut. Es klingt eigentlich ziemlich lecker, oder? Ist das wie ein Nahrungsbedarf für mich, wie gebratenes Holz zu essen? Ich denke so, wie wenn du ein, wie sie es machen.
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Ja, sie machen wie Tröckel, wie Trinken und so. Ich denke, sie haben einfach das Glas getrunken. No, eating burnt wood. Why we eat burnt wood. Not the norm, LTD. Charcoal... You're thinking if they smoke the glass. No, I'm not. There's like a charcoal lemonade that we used to get at this one place. Oh, it's like charcoal toothpaste. Yes, yes.
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Es riecht so gut, wie bei Mescal oder was auch immer die Tequila ist. Es riecht so gut. Es riecht so gut. Es riecht so gut. Es riecht so gut. Es riecht so gut. Möchtest du Tahini? Ja. Ich liebe Tahini.
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Ich mache es nie, aber ich gehe bei mir. Ich bin besorgt.
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All right, Tanner, gib uns einen Cocktail. Was hast du? All right. Ich werde anfangen. Okay, dieses ist das Morgenabend. Und es ist nur Baileys und Orangengewebe. Ich mag das.
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Wir besuchenen uns jeden Sommer und Frühstück. Und dann begann er mit dem Freestyle Musik zu machen. Und als ich mit ihm besuchen begann, freistylierten wir den ganzen Tag. Als wir 16 waren, hatten wir ein Auto. Und wir spielten zwölf Stunden am Tag, fuhren und freestylierten. Und wir waren so gut. Es war so gut, es war verrückt. Also kam ich nach Hause und freestylte Partys.
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Das klingt gut, wahrscheinlich. The Hops Scotch. Half beer, half scotch. Nice, nice. Half and half is crazy. That's horrible. I don't know, work on the ratio, but it's beer and scotch. The Gin Halpert. This one, this will get you so drunk you want to leave Pam for Karen. The Pantsuit. Come on. Das ist so gut. Okay, das ist der Top-Side. Es ist Limon-Juice, Tequila und ein bisschen LSD.
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I like that a lot. Oh, have you guys had a dark and chunky? Rum and spoiled milk. Oh, it is so good. Like a hot summer afternoon. Dark and chunky. You can chew on it. It's so yummy. It's a meal also. It congeals. I've got the tequila nightmare. Es ist Tequila und Gravy und es ist furchtbar. Oh. Ich glaube, ich kann nichts sagen, weil ich nur die dunklen und scharfen Töne gespielt habe. Oh.
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Oh mein Gott. Das hier ist der Sober Duck. Und es ist preferiert, oder du solltest es mit 2%, aber deine Wahl von Milch mit Oreos, die den Rind wie Orange Peels. Oh. Das klingt wirklich gut. Das klingt großartig. Ja, ich mag das. Lauren könnte wahrscheinlich ein paar davon benutzen. Ja. Oreos?
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It is Patron. Grenadine represents the blood of Christ. And then a dash of holy water. I like that a lot. Holy crap. No pun intended. Alright, was that it? Yeah, nice, nice. Alright. Oh, we gotta do our last segment. Rusty's song of the day. I'm creating a playlist now. Did you start it? I started it. And today's song... Let's see. Today's song is going to be She's Electric by Oasis.
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A lot of fun wordplay in there that I like. And a lot of rhyming, which I'm a big fan of. And I hope when you listen to it, you think of me, Tanner and Will. What do you listen to these days? A lot of Smino recently. Waxahachie. You know Waxahachie? Tiger's Blood is one of maybe the best albums ever. Yes, seriously. I can't stop listening to it. Yes, so good. St.
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Cloud was my first and now Tiger's Blood. I'm like, this is the best. And then that got me into MJ. Yes. And I've been super into him. Same. I feel left out. Is it good? Waxahachie is unbelievable. It's pretty shitty. Nah, it's kind of mid. That whole, yeah. Crowbar has been on repeat lately. Yes.
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Aber ich mag auch die Song Tigers, aber weißt du, was wir über den zweiten Chorus sprechen? Ja, wenn es um die Background-Vokale geht. Ich kriege eine Korda. Ja, das ist so gut. Ich bin so gespannt. Ich bin bereit. Sie ist elektrisch, aber ich habe das noch nie gehört. Es ist fantastisch. Ich habe das noch nie gehört. Es ist so gut. Viele Leute denken, es ist nur Wonderwall.
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Und dann versuchte ich, eine Musik zu machen. Was für Musik? Hip-Hop und Alternative. Ich mag es, dass die Freestyles in einem bewegten Auto passieren müssen. Es wäre so viel einfacher, wenn wir es einfach zu Hause machen könnten. Dann könntest du mehr Sachen sehen und mehr Infos bekommen. Wechselnde Hintergründe. Arby's and Wendy's, Tonic in the Mall. Take a red light. I remember my friend.
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Ja, es gibt drei Songs. Sie haben es tief, aber nicht, ja. Sie haben viele gute Songs. Sie sollten Super Sonic sehen. Es ist ein Dokumentarfilm von Oasis und es ist fantastisch. Ich würde das eigentlich lieben. Sie haben so einen tollen Ausblick. Ich würde das wirklich lieben. Es wäre schön, mehr darüber zu wissen. Großartig. Lauren, welche Persönlichkeit stehst du diese Woche?
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Tanner, jedes Mal, wenn wir jemanden wählen, wollen wir, dass wir ein bisschen mehr ähnlich sind. Ja.
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Oh yeah, we also try and guess someone who either wears 95 or is 95. Because it's the 95th episode. It's getting very difficult. Show me Zack Martin. Number? Do you like the amount of segments that we have? It's so fun.
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Or maybe it is H-A. You're right. Oh, er hat 92, 94 und 96.
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Ja, ist das ein Kerl? Ja, das ist ein Kerl. Batman? Er ist eigentlich da. Val Kilmer. Das ist, warum ich gesagt habe, er ist 65. Ich weiß nicht, wer das ist. Ich verliere mich, aber ich bin... Ja, ich auch. Jermaine Johnson. Was? Jermaine? 95 Jahre alt. Ich habe das gespürt. Was auch immer. Und du kannst zu jedem... Was? Wie heißt er? Er trägt die Nummer 11.
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Ich dachte, es war Betty Crocker. Sie ist nicht gestorben. Sag mir nicht, dass sie gestorben ist. Nein, bitte nicht.
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Wer ist Betty Crocker? Ist das eine echte Person? Ich denke, sie kocht. Ich denke, sie ist ein Chef. Das ist eine Situation wie Angela Mima. Ja, sie ist ein Koch. I said she cooks and you go, no. I don't think so. She's a fictional character. Oh, what? Yeah, she's not real. No, Betty Crocker is not a fictional character. That's not what it says. Read it. No, Betty Crocker is. Oh.
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You win this round, Danellen. Betty, something Barker. Betty Barker, give it a shot. Betty Barker? Betty Barker, is that real? No, who's the guy from Happy Gilmore? It's like something Bob Barker. Bob Barker. Bob Barker might be 99, 95.
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This is how we find out everyone is dead. Hugh Hefner. Oh yeah, that's good.
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Wow, that was close. How many people are dying? 95 is old. Alright, I'm going to steal Hugh Hefners personality. Oh nice. I'm going to wear more robes around the house. Trying to get back into robes.
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Oh yeah, there's gonna be a football player. Wait, before we wrap though, I don't know if you talked about your merch. Oh yeah, fantastic. Oh, Chris Jones? Yes, Chris Jones. Thank you, nice. It's because I started thinking about the Chiefs because of you. Nice. Yeah, let's go! That's satisfying. I was gonna have like a freaking loose inhale from you.
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I have like a million videos of him freestyling when we were kids. And he would like call us over to Cumbies. You remember Cumberland Farms? I know Cumbies. It's like a gas station. I don't know if it's outside of the Northeast. It's definitely not. Based on his face right now, I can say without a doubt, it is not.
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It gives you a meltdown every day when I can't think of one. Yeah, check out Tanner's readabook.la I'll put the link in the description. Oh, it's called readabook. Do you read a lot of books? Yes.
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Waren deine Buchstaben so ausgestattet? Ja. Okay. Ich weiß nicht, noch nicht. Tedder, möchtest du etwas hinzufügen? Ja. Es kommt bald ein neues Happy Gilmore 2. Mac DeMarco hat vor ein paar Jahren ein langes Album gedreht. Ja. Ich mag das. Oh, One Wayne G. Ist das das, was es heißt? Es gibt 199 Lieder. Ja. Ich hoffe, er hat eine längere, ehrlich gesagt. Das war ziemlich leicht.
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Das ist einer von denen, die du einfach durchbringst und dann denkst du dir, okay, danke. Das letzte Ding, der Odyssey-Film, der von Christopher Nolan sein wird, wäre wirklich cool. Ich denke, wir sollten alle dafür vorbereitet sein. Fantastisch. Danke, Drew. Kommt rein, danke. Danke, Leute. Leute, habt einen schönen Rest eures... Montags. Habt einen schönen Rest eures Wochen.
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Und dann sehen wir uns bald und früh nach dem Wochenende am Montagmorgen. Wir lieben euch so viel. Lauren, spiel diese Musik.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Und wir haben uns in der Parkplatte getroffen und er hat gesagt, ihr müsst jetzt hierher kommen. Und dann hat er dir einen 45-Sekunden-Freestyle gegeben. Und ich war so, okay, war das alles? Und er war so, okay, lass uns zurück in mein Haus gehen. Das ist großartig. Wer ist dieser Kerl? Wir wohnen in Mainz zusammen, aber er... Ja, er ist ein guter Junge.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Es gibt ein paar, ich habe dieses App, ich spreche über es oft, ich habe dieses App namens Swipe Wipe, wo es wie Tinder für deine Fotos ist. Und so, wie jeden Morgen, es ist wie, diese sind die, diese sind die Videos und Fotos, die du an diesem Tag genommen hast.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Und jedes Mal, jedes Mal, wenn ich einen alten Freestyle bekomme, und einige von ihnen haben nicht sehr gut aufgewachsen, also habe ich sie gelöscht, aber es gibt ein paar, es ist einfach so, Swipe up, delete this. And yeah, I remember feeling like we were older, but like looking back at these videos, it's like, he's like, he looks pretty, he had like a baby face, so it's like a kid. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
With a crazy shit. And he like, like far too young to be smoking weed, it looks like, but. Ich hatte... Ich war mit meinen Kollegen in der Schule am Wochenende und es kam wieder... Wir haben geredet... Die erste Zeit, als ich diese Crew kennengelernt habe, wurde ich auf einem Ski-Trip als Freund eines Freundes eingeladen. Und ich brauchte so sehr Freunde. Viel zu beweisen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Ja, aber ich wusste die Steine. Ich hatte gerade einen großen Fall mit meiner letzten Freundesgruppe. Ich war so, ich brauche das, um gut zu gehen. Du schaust in die Kamera und sagst, komm schon, Will. Du musst den Ski-Trip beenden. Und sie waren... Einer von ihnen sagte, dass es die erste Nacht war, als wir da waren, als wir ziemlich krank wurden oder so.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Aber Big Tech, Elon, Jeff Bezos, verschiedene Techniker, Monk, Bill Gank. Und als Weg, es dir zu machen, once the video cuts out, we're going to put some just soothing nature videos there for you to watch. Ich bin sehr, sehr entschuldigt, dass das geschehen ist. Wir werden sicher machen, dass wir Failsafes einsetzen, damit das nicht wieder passiert. Aber du lebst und lernst. So etwas passiert.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Und am Ende der Nacht war es nur ich und dieser andere Junge freestylen. Und sie waren alle nur auf der Couch, uns zu sehen. Und sie waren so, wir müssen diesen Mann in unsere Crew bringen. Und übrigens, du sagst, du bist gut im Freestylen. Ich kann nicht das Gleiche sagen über mich selbst. Und sie waren so, er ist drin. Wir brauchen ihn. Keine Ahnung. Und der Rest ist Geschichte.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Wir brauchen mehr von diesem Mann. Sie sind meine besten Freunde im Welt. Nicht diese Gruppe, aber meine Kollegen aus der Schule. Das war vor fünf Jahren oder so. Worüber rapptest du? Ich weiß es nicht. Wir skieren auf den Bergen. Wir fahren sehr schnell. Ein sehr literarischer Freestyler, der die Szene beschreibt. Ein Storyteller.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Sometimes the most meaningful lyrics are the ones that are the most real. We'll put a picture of it again. Will used to roll the worst joints. They were awesome. They were so bad. They're almost unrecognizable as a joint. It looks like he's holding crumpled up paper. I just picture it like that. It was at the same time. We gotta get this guy on our crew.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
He rolls the worst joints and he freestyles. Wahnsinn. Sie waren alle so, er ist in. Er ist ein verdammter Killer, Alter. Ja, es war episch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Freaking... Ich weiß es nicht. Der Tag, an dem er einfach fliegt. Okay, hier ist eine Frage. Wie ich gesagt habe, ist es seit dem letzten Monat oder so, dass ich angefangen habe, all deine Sachen zu sehen. Und es ist f****** hysterisch. Ist das ein... Ist das... Wie hat es sich geblieben, wie mehr letztes Jahr? Oder bin ich nur zu spät im Spiel? Relativ, ja. Die letzten paar Monate oder so, ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Okay, sehr cool. Ja. Und was ist das? Ist das cool? Yeah, I like it. People come and say what's up, and I'm like, oh, hi. Because I always talk to people when I'm out, but now people come up and say hi and stuff, so it's good. That's very cool. Do you see it just as a path to the music promotion, or does it feel separate now? Separate, separate, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Ich dachte nie daran, Skizzen oder Comedy zu machen. Aber es hat mich dann einfach weniger ernst genommen. Ich wollte nicht wie Frank Ocean, der Musik macht. Und ich bin nicht wie Frank Ocean. Ich wollte nicht wie Frank Ocean, der Musik macht. Ich wollte nicht wie Frank Ocean, der Musik macht. Ich wollte nicht wie Frank Ocean, der Musik macht. Ich wollte nicht wie Frank Ocean, der Musik macht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Ich wollte nicht wie Frank Ocean, der Musik macht. Ich wollte nicht wie Frank Ocean, der Musik macht. Ich wollte nicht wie Frank Ocean, der Musik macht. Ich wollte nicht wie Frank Ocean, der Musik macht. Ich wollte nicht wie Frank Ocean, der Musik macht. Ich wollte nicht wie Frank Ocean, der Musik macht. Ich wollte nicht wie Frank Ocean, der Musik macht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Wir haben es vor ein paar Episoden gemacht und Will und ich haben uns gefragt, weißt du, was du vorher sagen wirst? Weil manchmal fühlt es sich so an, als würdest du es finden. Ich lege die Train-Tracks, wie ich gehe. Es gibt keinen Weg. Nein, es ist wie ein Beat-Side, den ich normalerweise wissen würde, den ich schießen möchte. Manchmal ist es einfach so.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Ich habe eine Linie und dann frag ich jemanden, um mich zu filmen und dann gehe ich. So lange ich kann. Ich weiß nicht, wie viele Videos, aber meine Mutter hat mir mit einigen von denen geholfen. Weil ich dachte, vielleicht kann ich etwas Politisches sagen. Weißt du, was das bedeutet? Oder was in der Welt los ist? Weil ich nicht sehr politisch bin. Ich habe sie gefragt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Das ist, warum ich manchmal Worte anders sage, um unser Engagement zu beeinflussen. Caramo. Ich habe viele von Temptation Island geschaut.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Maybe if you recorded me all the time, I would butcher some words. But they're having these serious conversations with each other about the future of their relationship. And one of the guys used a word that didn't exist. And Mark Wahlberg hosts. Not Marky Mark. You do this on purpose. Mark L. Wahlberg hostet und er ist ein sehr seriöser Typ.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Und er versucht, die Konversation auf dem Weg zu halten. Und der Typ hat eine Worte benutzt, die nicht existierten, und es hat zu Mark geklopft.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Das ist großartig. Welche Wörter? Skromp. Skromp. Skirtle. Es war wie... Ich glaube, er hat es unverdächtig gekostet. Oder so etwas. Er hat es vermisst. Das ist, was ich sage. Er hat ein T oder so etwas vermisst. Hast du es auch vermisst? Das war so, wie er es gesagt hat. Unverdächtig. Unverdächtig. Unverdächtig. Das klingt richtig.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Es ist ein guter Show. Er erklärt die Prämisse jedes Mal. Am liebsten gibt es eine neue Person dieses Mal. Normalerweise ist es nur wir, die denken, oh Gott. Und er... Sie scheiden alle auf ihre Freundinnen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Unter dem Grund, dass wir überlegen, was es bedeutet, getötet zu werden. Und dann versuchen sie zu verabschieden und ihre Beziehung zu retten. Aber sie können nicht ihre Gefühle ausdrücken. Wenn ich an diesem Show wäre, würde ich nicht auf meine Freundin scheiden. Yes, thank you. Unless it's your potential wife. Oh, true. Okay, yeah. Or if she's really busted. She's really pretty.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Das erste Mal, dass es in 95 Episoden passiert ist. Wir lieben euch alle und ich bin sehr entschuldigt. Das war nicht Lorenzes Schuld. Sie hat nichts falsch gemacht. Es war nicht, also komm nicht nach mir. Oder ich werde dich blockieren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Unless she was really... I wouldn't cheat on her unless she was really pretty. Then I would consider it. Then I would think about it. Is there an Accelerator you could consider? Ooh, Peach Paradise.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
Oh, Peach Paradise. Ja, ich mag die Peach Paradise. Es ist nicht zu süß. Die Rock'n'Pop kann manchmal süß sein. Ja, die Rock'n'Pop ist, wenn ich wirklich dafür bin. Aber heute ist... Ich habe viel zu tun. Ich gehe morgen auf Verabredung. Ich mache ein bisschen Peach Paradise.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon
What is going on? Dude, there's a Boston College, my alma mater, just posted their academic all conference or something. It was a guy on a football team and his name is Juan, the first name, and the last name is Zabal. Und ich dachte mir, das ist es, was man auf einem Fußball-Thema braucht, ein Kerl, der einen Ball gewinnt. Das ist unglaublich. Einen Ball gewinnt? Einen Ball gewinnt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
official ins and outs of 2025
Jeder Läufer kennt diesen Moment, wenn es einfach klickt. Wenn deine Beine einfach mitgehen, der Schmerz nachlässt, die Zweifel weg sind und du nur noch das Runners High spürst. Das ist der Grund, warum du so früh aufstehst. Warum dich ein bisschen Regen nicht auffällt. Warum Laufen zum Ritual wird. Also laufe und fühle das Runners High.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
No, I did some research on the show and everything. You do a great job on the show. Oh, thank you, man. You have a really good intro song.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
Who has a better intro song? That's fair, her. Dude, I mean, it's hard. I kind of like how you guys use your intro song as a bleep. Oh, yeah. Wait, say something you don't want to be on the internet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
Oh, yeah, did you do – you got this stuff ready? I definitely have them ready to go because I'm prepared. Oh. That sounds not sure. No, I do.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
Wait, Grace hasn't picked hers yet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
All right. Hello, Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson. Benson. Mordecai? So, Grace, you're Rigby then.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
Finally someone. So they'll give like three names and then you just call dibs on it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
Your sister will probably know it's sort of part of our lore now. Alright, what's the worst part about finding a significant other? It's impossible.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
Knowing whether or not the person is interested in being flirted with, let me introduce you to the Availability Aviators, a pair of glasses with a display screen inside that shows whether a person is single but not looking, single and looking, or taken. Never again will you be sitting in the corner of a bar worried about if a cute girl or guy is okay with you coming up to talk.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
Hope you like the idea. Looking at you will...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
No, I could have used these this weekend. We had a work event at a bar, and I was with our friend Lucas, who also works here. And I got thrown into this two-man. There was two girls and two of us. But I have a girlfriend. So I was like, I don't know how to deal with this situation. And it got so much worse when he bought his girl a drink.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
And then my girl just had to buy her own drink while I stood there and watched it. And I was, like, so embarrassed by the whole situation, I just called an Uber and went home. I was, like, at the bar. I had, like, just gotten there. I was there for, like, maybe 30 minutes. And I was like, this is so weird. I'm leaving. I'm just going to go home. I'll tell you what.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
Did you hear another pitch, Andrew? Yeah. What do you got for us? That one was by Joe, by the way. Thank you, Joe. Nice job, Joe. Hey-o, Joe. This one is by Annie. Click, clack, moo.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
Mm-hmm. Oh, that's us? Yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
You know, like, the book? You never read that? Like, the cows on the typewriter?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
All right. Let's hear another pitch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
There you go. All right. People don't pull nearly enough pranks anymore. Even if you want to prank, it's hard to come up with a good one. You scour Reddit articles or end up on posts like best pranks from kids.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
There's a lot of pranksters out there. A lot of pranksters out here. We pranked Lauren. We told her Emma Chamberlain was here. Oh, that's true. Yeah, you guys do pull a lot of pranks, actually. It was epic. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
Okay, nothing gives you that great practical joke you are looking for. That's where Prankster comes in. It's an app where you put in some details about the person you want to prank and generative AI helps to come up with unique, creative, good pranks. Then it provides links to purchase any supplies needed for the prank.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we got kicked out of boston w/ grace o‘malley
You can either execute it the old-fashioned way or you can pay to upgrade and upload additional information about that person's schedule or work and the AI will pull details from public domains to suggest the best time to do the prank and how to go about it to provide optimal results. I wish someone would invent this because I was struggling this past April Fool's. Hope y'all like it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
To be fair, you hadn't played back for a while on the last move, and so I forgot about it. That's... That's not true. If you play me back, I will play you back within the hour. That didn't happen. I nudged you multiple times. I didn't get any nudges. Maybe I need to turn on notifications. But you definitely did not play me back within 24 hours. And I was smoking you. That's not true.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Well, you probably played the last move. No, I didn't. Yeah, so the game started with me. So that's it with an extra move on your end. So I'm actually like triple smoking.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
They have that in China. Oh, really? It's like a social credit score. Really? Yeah, if you cheat in a video game, your score goes down. That can't be real.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
What is second world? China's social credit score. China, I guess. Factors.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I could have made all that up. What? What? It's like that Black Mirror episode where they can downvote you. It legitimately is the Black Mirror episode. Oh, my God. I don't know how much it actually influences someone's life there. But when I read about it years ago, it was like you could be denied loans if your social credit score is low. We have a credit score.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I realize I'm totally hijacking your pitch. I'm sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
He was just here for the combine. Why didn't you have him on?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Let's see. Tomorrow. I'm going to do board game night with Willie and Luke.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Yeah. And then tonight, I think I'm going to catch up on some sleep because... Dude, I've been wearing my whoop. Yeah. And it tracks my sleep, which is the main reason I bought it. My six-month sleep average is five and a half hours. That's insane. I don't understand. I'm probably over nine. It's really bad. And so I'm really trying to focus on getting more sleep this year. Boy, I can't find it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
So I think I'm doing that tonight and... What do you mean? It was in your DM? I'm looking. I can't find it. I'm just working all the time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
But Saturday, we were going to do volleyball with Billy and his gal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Oh, nice. That does sound so fun. I'm so tired, though. I know. Maybe I should just go. I'm just trying to make myself do it. I should probably just go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
They're going to hang your jersey up here when you leave this company.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Dang. You know, I always think about that and I think about guys like Lin Bias.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Or like, just guys who are like 11 and die that would have been... I mean, it's insane.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Oh, okay. Okay. What is the worst part about podcasts? Nothing. Microphones. No, it's the sound compression on Spotify and Apple Music, right? You don't get the crisp quality audio you want. Every one of our episodes going forward comes out on vinyl. I like that. You like a record.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I mean, like, it's the size of a... It's an hour. It's an hour and a half of... Both sides. Oh, you can flip it? You have to flip it. They're still like... I mean, did that ever... I guess they had like comedy albums, but like... This is... Could you... I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I mean, I think mine deserves it. I know that's probably arrogant to say.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Lauren. Yeah, we should pick our best episode and press it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Wait, you can't take that idea because me and Liam are going to do that now. We're going to do our comedy collection of characters. Characters? Pressed on vinyl.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
You the GOAT, man. You the GOAT, for real. I did one of my worst characters of all time. What was it? What was it? You want me to do it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
It's actually the worst character I've ever come up with. All right. All right, we're on a date. You think it's going well. I don't. And I'm really bad at lying. Okay. I'll probably call for the check now. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Yeah. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, I would love to do another drink. Great. Same. Yeah. Hold on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I'm so sorry. Something came up. I can't control it. I don't think that's bad. No, it's bad. But it's fun. It's garbage and it's fun. That's why it's fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Oh, yeah. Have you heard this, Willie? I don't know. He was trying to get his... He was on the phone with Delta support. Yeah. Oh, I've heard this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
You listen? You listen? I listen. He was on the phone with Delta support. And they were like, okay, well, we just need your confirmation number or whatever. So can you just read that off to us? And he goes, sure. It's H as in Hector. V as in Virgo. H as in hotel. Three. N as in. And then he just hung up. Not as a bit. No, not as a bit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
That's all a pun. That's so funny. That Delta operator must have been like, guys. And that's what you call a pregnant pause.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Well, that's where they got the idea. It's from his book.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
All right, well, thanks for having me. Do you want to see how this guy rocks, though? I've got to go back to my real life now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
It is. It's March 24th. Good memory. Thanks. Oh, yes, we were talking about this. I'm in Aries.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Rising... No, no, no. Fire sign. Yep. And what are you? Let me guess. A water sign.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Well, he's got a good voice and a good rhythm. I'm just not vibing with the lyrics. And that's just my honest opinion. He's got a bright future.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I now know my name. I was writing sonnets when I was 12. You wrote that sonnet about Bear? He's only 15.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
If you give me about 30 seconds, I can find someone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
You don't have one in your bathroom? I do. I have one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
i think you two would have been no actually i think we might have been at that age i don't think the three no no no if you were that was when i was at like catholic school well if you were in um how old are you 24 okay so you i would have been a senior in high school freshman would we have would we have like hung out i didn't really hang out with many seniors but maybe
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I'm suffocating to be around. Do you have a parking spot near the door? No. Okay. We have to walk across both football fields. To the neighborhood across the street?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Yeah, probably out. We drive by Jack's house and throw eggs in him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Yeah. No. Oh, actually, my neighbor's house in college, they threw eggs at me one time when we had our... Had you? Yeah, they were... We were like... We were cool with them. It was just like annoying, like dumb prank shit. But like my like formal date was over. Yeah, it was formal. That's what it was called. And like they hit her with an egg because they were throwing eggs at me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
And so the next day we drove. I'm probably getting the timeline wrong, but we drove to the gas station like the next day and bought all of the eggs. And we like surrounded their house. We treated it like Vietnam, dude. We were like. It was a guerrilla warfare. And then, yeah, my buddy Joe, on his command, and we just started barraging the house. And it's like a 10-person house.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Hit every window, every doorstep. It was like, you know, probably like 200 eggs. That's insane.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Hootie. You don't even have explanations for this one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
I don't know what that means. We'll cut it. I haven't heard that since high school.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
You haven't seen my future wife. It's going to be... Oh, she's got like... She's mostly nipples. She's mostly nipples. She's got union nipples.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
It actually played better that he didn't remember. Yeah, it was perfect. Yeah. Come back to me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
like do you know i won't fall for that so she like i don't want to be i know how what you do you guys like make your guests like idiots and you fucking clip it and they look like fucking idiots i'm not falling for that i won't do it i'm not gonna do that here
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
One time I saw him rifling through Lauren's purse because there were like pills in her purse or something and he was checking. Yeah, what were those pills?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Old school. It's an all-time classic. Are you Angus' personality in this deal? Al Pacino's in Glen Gary Glen Ross. Why? Because he's the machine, baby. Actually, he's not the machine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Well, I'll tell you this. This weekend, whether it's a vacation, a staycation, or medication, I'm looking forward to it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
crying in the barbershop
Hey, guys. Stay really still. Hey, guys. Thanks for having me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining the party landscape.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
This is like when you said something about my grandma dying every week after my grandma died.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Probably some sort of light burglary, Lauren. Not everything's about a dog dying. Or a person getting beaten to death with a club. It's not publicly humiliated for shitting on a cop or something. Not everything's about that, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
What kind would they be holding? It's like two dogs are clubbing while a cop shits on them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
There's no dogs at the club, okay? It's just people dance.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
There's no dogs dancing or clubbing. Do you know how stupid you sound right now? Club is just people dance.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
How was that for you? Awesome. Awesome. When was the last time you... Yeah, because I remember because we were watching the Sochi Winter Olympics. There we were, grinding to the luge.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
2012. You were 11? It was probably that shootout. Straight bone on bone. Was it London? The Olympics? It was the London Olympics. I've only ground once.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Really? What did you guys think of my roommate, Jerry? He also works here, guys. My roommate doesn't just stay around.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Speaking of stalkers... I accidentally doxed myself on Strava. I didn't realize that when you upload it, it shows you exactly where you're running. Are you sure? I zoomed in and you could literally see where the couch was and where the fridge was. Was it gray or orange? It showed up like orange. Because usually it blurs the start and end of your workout. All orange. Interesting. Straight gas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
But I got like 180 followers on Strava. Yeah. So if you want to follow me on Strava, you can see what I'm doing. I'm getting notifs. I got to turn my notifs off, dude. I had to block Strava on email. Oh. Did you see that Grammys interviewer yesterday? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Wait, I need to see this. Pull it up. It's so un-produced. And then she slides in. She slides in without even thinking about it. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. I don't think she knew what was happening. She just heard her name.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Yeah. Wait. Why don't we just play it? Who is Babyface? I think he's like a noob rapper.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
um or he like stopped what he was doing and looked at me and i said what he goes we're not going to talk about it what's wrong with these sunglasses lauren i don't think there's anything wrong with your sunglasses well what's wrong with these sunglasses they cut they're i don't know they're just they're not like they're not like ones i'm not going to comment on why is that fair the most normal sunglasses they're not the most they look like you're like a like a spy or like a biker
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
What was that? Did she say that? That's what she said. And then chapel round.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Yeah, I don't even know who that is. I agree. Obviously, I think that's insane. I also don't know who Babyface is. It's a funny name.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Okay, time out. I completely think, yeah, the interviewer sucks. Isn't that insane? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
She leans over and absolutely... I'm glad she kept her cool. I'm glad she kept her cool. Crapple bone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And I... You know how I only poop naked? Is that real? You didn't know this about me?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I don't do it at work. You only poop naked? You don't do anything else naked? My mom used to say she could tell when I was pooping because there'd be a trail of clothes across the house to the bathroom. So I'd like realize I'd have to poop, take my shirt off, be walking, pants, socks would be the last thing to go. That feels crazy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And but so I was on the toilet pooping and when I'm holding my phone, it's kind of like pointing down at my junk. And I had this weird thought as the thing was posting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
where it's like i accidentally like record because you know you like add the clip but then there's still like room to record yeah i accidentally record it's like saying it don't exist at the end it's just just shot of your junk right junk and but there's nothing you could do once it's loading yeah and my internet was really slow so i had to sit there for two minutes like waiting for it to go and then i don't know how to fast forward on reels too so i had to watch the whole reel i think you could do it like on tiktok
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
hoping there wasn't at the end just a straight grundle shot that would have been viral i was fucking worried i was worried dude i think maybe we should try that for a clip i was thinking like what if it was just really quick like would anyone notice yeah yes see who really makes it to the end it's like they used to put they used to put uh i don't know this is at a movie but i you ever watch that movie draft day yeah do you actually watch it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Basically, it's about the NFL draft, and they put $100 at the end of the playbook to see who is actually reading their whole playbook. And one of the guys lies about it. That's like what they did with Jamarcus Russell. Oh, is that real? They gave him a blank VHS. Wait, I don't know if it would have been VHS. DVD. DVD. They gave him a blank DVD and told him to watch it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And then he came in the next day. why am i can't talk why am i can't talk they gave him yeah a blank dvd told him to watch it he came in the next day and said he had watched it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
and that is how they knew i think maybe johnny manziel actually yeah there's a our co-worker johnny manziel there's a thing in his doc where they had it was like mind tap when you're in college where it sees like how much studying you're doing yeah and uh they said they checked his thing and it wasn't even a second he watched zero seconds film and he's him he is him lauren how much do you do lauren what's the last what's the biggest thing you've built
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
um my bed oh you guys so i moved into my new apartment oh yeah moving wait also i you like text me like a week before you move like hey will you still help me move because i'd offer and i said yes and then you never texted me i know well i knew your parents were here so i was like okay i mean i wasn't complaining but i just remember i would have you didn't want me to help you didn't offer i'm never gonna go out of my way to be like do you need help moving but if you're like do you that's what i did will you help move
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
um no honestly it was fine but i'm so tired you missed a killer night on that night you said you're gonna come out but you stayed in for moving i know i'm at the you know i said i'm at the craziest woman at last time we were playing pool the one that was like twerking on us yeah this this woman made that this woman from last friday made the previous crazy woman look like uh marie antoinette was it playing pool that bargain wait she was marie antoinette was crazy made it look like mother theresa
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Or like a dad who has like a boat. I feel like it suggests I have political beliefs that I'm going to keep to myself. I think it suggests that you're related to bugs. You look like a bug.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
So we were sitting there. She doesn't understand how, like, you know how you put your quarters down to, like, cue yourself? Didn't understand that concept. So every time a game ended, like, we would beat someone, and she would come up to go in the bounce board after, like, no, you're, like... third in line or whatever. And then it's finally her turn.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I break and she just hits the eight ball in on the first shot, like on purpose. And we were like, Oh, you lose. And she was like, no, wait, why would she do?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
She was just insane. Like just, there was no like reasoning with this woman. And I think she thought maybe like that would be, it's over. She thought we would like give her the – I don't know. She was truly nuts. And we were like, oh, you lose. And she was like, no. No, I don't. And we were like, all right, like whatever you want to do.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And Curtis, the bouncer, came up and was like, what you guys can do is just play out. Like you guys finish the stripes. You guys finish the solids, whatever. But it's like you lost. So like even after we do that, maybe you – and then they – She have a partner? Yeah. she had a partner and he was doing no wrangling. He seemed like kind of normal and was just like over it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Like not, he was just letting her be insane. And so they beat us. And during the whole thing, she would like, I was playing with Zach and she kept going, Jack and Zach, Jack and Zach, Jack and Zach, the whole, for 45 minutes straight, like truly, truly nuts. She was like 40 years old to like, like too old to be acting like this. And so they beat us. And it was kind of like implied, like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
yeah, but you lost at the beginning. Like, maybe you leave. And they just kept playing. You didn't put up a stink? No, we wanted nothing to do with it. So we went to a new bar.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
This was at Townhouse. We're like, all right, we'll just go to Hanano. And we went to leave and she was like, well, like you lose. And we were like, no, just leave us alone. She sounds kind of lame. And then they had another friend. There was another girl there who seemed completely normal and would give you like... You know when Jim looks at the camera in the office?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
kind of looks like a bug right yeah uh guys spam bug in the chat wait when i was reading the comments from the episode score the l and the goat and i'm like what were we i yeah i was like what is it i was like oh god all the first comments on our new episode are just l and i think i baited that i want to ask you guys a question i was thinking about on the car ride the other day oh god you ever get stuck in traffic for so long you just you have to like so you think you like think of a thought no one's ever thought about before yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
He's like, what are you going to do? She kept doing that. I was like, why are you with this girl? She's insane. That's funny. It was truly... I thought we were getting pranked. I thought there was a chance... We were on some, like, hidden camera show.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Like, how crazy can you be before someone says something? I want to get on a hidden camera show. I want to get on a kitten camera show. Kitten camera show. No, but, like, wouldn't that be fun to, like, realize you're on Impractical Jokers? Like, I always think, like, if Murr came up and fucked with me, I would just try to... I wouldn't be like, oh, my God, it's Murr. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Because then I wouldn't make the show. Yeah. You guys have to act way crazier than Murr. Yeah, just be like, what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
so you definitely make the show also you can kind of do it's almost like uncharted uh or international waters where like laws don't apply like you could do anything you want to murr if you realize you're on impractical jokers because it would be like good for the show yeah so he wouldn't start humping him you could hump him you could grab his grundle grump him you could grump him you could like if you pantsed murr they would be like this is gold keeper you know what i mean like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Yeah. That'd be awesome. Yeah, realizing you're on Impractical Jokers. Murr, don't prank us. Don't prank us. Hey, you know, we have a big first coming next episode. First woman. First woman ever on Playdate. Unless you count Lauren. Jill Biden. The first woman is our first woman. The first woman. It's... What's her name? Melania. That's Melania Trump.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
man she's awesome my lady it's a it's can we say who it is or it's a secret no let's make it a or a first woman it's a secret it's a wait it's a so what else is going on with you guys i i oh i discovered how to make the stinkiest fart ever you want to hear i went to korean barbecue all right you go first yours sounds more interesting The stinkiest part is very simple.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And let me tell you, you'd think those two things go together like butter and jam. They do not. They go to bed with hot water and mustard. They congeal and they smell awful. And the key is to trap them under the comforter because then they fester. The naughty pie from Prince Street Pizza. Have you ever had that? It's like a thick kind of Detroit style and it's got...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
hot honey and pepperoni and ricotta and me and chester used to get when we lived together we would party on the weekends and we'd always at the end of their night after we partied we'd order one at night and we'd eat it and watch bojack horseman or something and we were doing it so much that we both got like totally naughty pied out we're like we can't eat this pizza anymore it's so much it's so like thick and rich it's so good it's the best thing in the world but
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And then I moved away and like we both had literally hadn't had one in like six months. And then Chester, I saw him on Friday a few weeks ago and I was like, yeah, I did a naughty pie last night. And he was like, please, can you come take the rest? Like I can't have it in my house. I was like, I don't want it. Like we were talking about it like it was like a live bomb.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And then he's like, all right, I'm just going to... We were like at one place and he was like, all right, I'm going to run back to mine and then I'll come meet you guys at the next bar or whatever. And then he just texted me. He was like, dude, I can't do it. I like... I ate a piece and I can't move off the couch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And now it's like... And so then he put it out in his trash can and then went out the next day and there's a homeless guy just on the hood of his car eating the rest of it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Did I ever tell you about... We actually lived together during this, but did... We lived together. Did you ever hear about the time Billy and I went to get in his car and there was a homeless guy there? No. There was a guy... like on, like laying on Billy's Audi.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And the guy was like, oddly reasonable for someone on heroin was like, Oh, sorry man. And like got up and like let Billy like do it. And then like laid back down in our driveway. That's funny. That was when I bought ice cream for homeless guy. No, I was in Charleston with my buddy, Elliot lead him. And we were getting ice cream.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And there was a homeless guy outside and I was trying to be a good guy. So I bought him an ice cream. That's what it needs. It was winter. Yeah. So I come outside. I'm like, hey, man, I got you this. He's like, what? No, it's freezing. I don't want that. I was like, God damn. It was a Jenny's too. So it was like a $20 ice cream.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
No, it was $10 maybe. But then I just had two ice creams.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Okay. how would you convince yourself that you were the real you? So there's two yous?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
We'll make living here a nightmare. And on the back, it's got a little Playdate. Turn around. Yeah, it's... I need you to do the four-leaf clover on that couch. Yeah. See? Right here is this shirt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Guys, I love Triples. I got to tell you about this weekend. I went to a murder mystery party. Oh, I forgot to talk about that on the podcast. I went to a murder mystery party and, uh, I wasn't drinking and I brought, I didn't, I went to bring triples and I was out of triples in my house. I got to bring more from the office. So I went and I was just sitting there like a fool the whole time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And I swear to God, the whole time I was thinking like, this would be way better if I had a triple. Cause you can sip on it and keep up socially in that sense and not feel like you should be holding something. Uh, but you don't have to feel hung over the next day. And it's 15, 20 calories. Triple is the bomb. And the grapefruit flavor is the best thing I've ever had.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
to get 10 off your order that's drink triple.com and use code plate it for 10 off your order triple redefining the party landscape so what else um i'm trying to think of what else so what else so what the hell else is going on i'm just kidding i'm really not that stressed out i'm doing good i got my i started my roth ira on saturday nice still don't know what that stands for but i don't know either
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Roth IRA stands for Roth is the guy who created it. Okay. His name was actually Ross.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Oh wow. I really allowance. What was your allowance growing up? Richie rich.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
You don't believe that? I never had an allowance either. I think you, I don't think most people got allowances. I think Lauren had a big one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Like what's something only you know? Oh. So basically just what's something you've never told anyone? Yeah, I'm not going to say it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Lauren's family ran a sweatshop in Ohio. It was just like a hot yoga thing. They called it sweatshop. It was a sweatshop. That's like my favorite thing about our guest next, our new upcoming guest, is that her family owns a Honey Baked Ham.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
They own and operate a Honey Baked Ham. What is that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
No, a franchise of Honey Baked Ham. It's a ham store. Lauren, what was your favorite part about growing up really rich?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I wish. That's what someone who's been... No, I wish.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Yeah, like people get them for like Christmas and Easter and stuff.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Yeah. A honey baked. Look up honey baked ham restaurant. The honey baked ham.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I didn't know there was that much money in ham. Yeah. Well, they tried honey baked turkey, but that was a huge flop.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Oh, I guess you can get like sandwiches there too. That looks great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
You know, I had a ham sandwich yesterday. How'd that go? Very good. Very well, I should say. I had a, it was a breakfast sandwich.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
why is it like you have like a it's a secret yeah like i'd probably tell him about my taint mole but do you have a mole on your taint no i wish why do you wish that we could have like an identifiable hidden feature in case a future version of myself comes right i went to school with this kid named kyle and he told me tm what you have a taint mole No, no. But his mom had something similar.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Kevin's front office chili. He's like, I love the office when he spills chili and stuff. My favorite part.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I observed. That's where K2 was. The, like, weed? The bobcat. What? Look up, like, K2 bobcat. K2 bobcat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Like, famous bobcat Los Angeles. Famous bobcat Los Angeles.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
p22 p22 was a famous mountain lion in la and he i think he got hit by a car no look up how did p2 die what a gorge lauren you ever seen perks of being a wallflower yeah wait wait i just watched it last night look at how he died look at how he died first i feel like we recently were talking about that and i said that you would like it really yeah i watched last night what do you think Good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I thought he was... I don't know if I want to... I guess, can I spoil it? Yeah, he had traumatic injuries consistent with being hit by a car.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Because his aunt gets hit by a car. His aunt? Perks of Wallflower... Will and I were talking about this earlier.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
because then when we were in high school he everyone had to be quirky and if you weren't quirky you weren't cool yeah and we wanted to be like old school jocks like pissing on nerds i just like i didn't i thought this was america and like i want to if you're a nerd i want to like shove you in your locker i want to give you a new and it's funny because like that's the lockers for books it's not for nerd i never used my locker in high school i literally didn't even know the combo for
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
i left a sandwich in my locker one time and it got so moldy that i was scared to like bring it the six feet from the locker to the uh trash can because i thought someone was gonna see me holding it and so it started to like seep the smell started to seep into everyone else's locker on there so i started using the kid above me's locker because he never used his and then on the last day of school i sprinted the six feet from it and obviously no one saw and i was like i could have done that immediately
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
It was literally, like, it was, like, unrecognizable. Wait, you sprinted six feet, what, to the trash can? It was literally, like, I could do it in one step. Like, I could, like, get it and throw it at Mr. Whaley's thing. Yeah. I saw Mr. Whaley in Boston. I saw my fifth grade teacher in Boston.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
and i was like yes and he was like it's mr whaley and i was like i mean i hadn't seen him in 12 years but yeah i don't know who was my fifth my fifth grade teachers were karen and jill oh you were a first name basis yeah yeah lib schools it was a montessori school in pennsylvania they had progressive schools mine was yeah they taught me to be open-minded and lead with empathy uh that's stupid and learn at my own pace and that everyone's different and we're all special
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I bet they told you that you were special a lot. I went to school for people who were special.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
He told me... I'll tell you. He told me... I told him I have a freckle on the bottom of my foot. Yeah. And he was like, oh, no way. My mom has a freckle on the bottom of her foot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
We were like, we should pop it with the new buck knife. And we were stabbing it and it was so deflated that like he couldn't really get a good grab on it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I remember I was in Catherine and Jean's class for first through third grade. Why were they like tag team in every class? It was every class. It was three grades and two teachers. So first, second, third grade, I'm in the same classroom for three years.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And, like, I wasn't equipped with the tools to explain to him, like, that kid doesn't know what he's talking about. Because I didn't know what I was talking about. You're like, oh, fuck. So it was like... Trying to talk him off this ledge that his mom was going to be fine. My dog's on her last couple days. Oh, no. Oh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
no because everyone's it's very it's like hyper personalized so and will really looks like well no it's like there are lessons that are like kind of standard for each grade but like if i was really good at math then because i was in then they could i could be with the second grader like you know what i mean i could be like a little bit ahead because there was this range of like skill sets i gotcha
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And it's all about learning at your own pace, the Montessori education. Why are you not going to... I'm out of school. You don't need to pitch me on this. For your kids. Did... But no, but I was... Whoa, go ahead.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Yeah, we all did Montessori. Yeah, same school. The new school of Lancaster. That explains a lot. Anyway, the Catherine Jeans class, I remember we were learning about exclamations, like parts of speech, like adjectives, adverbs, and then exclamations, which is like, yo!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And it was some amusement park, and we'd pick a guy and label an exclamation he might be putting. And I picked a guy on a little drawing, and I picked a guy on a roller coaster, and I wrote, Wee! Wee! And we had to present to the class, and mine said, wee-wee. And Jean very swiftly pulled me out of the class, and I got in big trouble.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And I was mortified because she thought I wrote wee-wee, like my wee-wee. But I just meant it like, wee-wee.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
She a freak. Exactly. I was like, no, I really didn't mean it like that. And then she was like, yeah, right. And I got in trouble. And I was mortified. I can imagine you probably weren't getting in a lot of trouble. No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
No, because then I also remember the other time I got mortified was there was this, like, when you were in third grade, you would get to do, like, a day in the fourth grade classroom to, like, see what it's like or something. And there was, like, this lesson with marshmallows that they would do to the third graders when they were visiting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And my group didn't get to do the marshmallow lesson, and we were all pissed. So we started a big picket line. No, they all sign it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Petition. Once we were in fourth grade, we were like, we never got that. Third graders got that marshmallow lesson. We want the marshmallow lesson. We started a whole petition. And Virgil Slaymaker wasn't there that day. Virgil Slaymaker. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
but I needed numbers for our petition and so I and he had like notoriously pretty shitty handwriting so I wrote Virgil with my left hand and it looked really shitty and then they got the petition and they were like what the hell and they sat us all down for like a lesson on like taking no for an answer and then they were like wait a minute Virgil's not here today who the hell wrote this and
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And I got in trouble and I was mortified yet again. That was like the most trouble I ever got in. Lauren, what was the most trouble you ever got in?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Wait, that's horrible. I invited Jerry here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Wait, you want to sit? Can you just swap with Jerry for a second? So that he can get a mic. Wait, this is horrible. He just said his dog's about to die. That's fine. We can talk about it. Can we talk about it after? Well, we can get... Would you guys get, like, a new puppy? This is my roommate, Jerry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
yeah i was called the movie sorry what'd you say well no i was just remember like my teachers like sat me down they're like what were you doing i was like i was doing a reverse push-up and they're like what is that i was like i don't know i was just trying to push it but upside down and they're like so that doesn't mean anything else to you right i was like no they're like all right you're fine like they like i couldn't get me in trouble without teaching me sex
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Did you guys have to watch the movie? No, we had a class called Choices and Changes. I remember. Did I tell you about that? You and your parents had to sit down and learn about blowjobs? Yeah, it was horrible.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
It was like a thing that happened in 6th grade. It was like, we're just going to bang it out in one afternoon. You're going to learn everything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Yeah, exactly. It was kind of like high-level stuff. And I was like, I didn't know that. And she was like, they didn't teach you that in health class? I was like, no, they separated the boys and girls. So we only learned about, like, cocks and balls.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I remember there was, like, a very... Like, the way the kids in the grade above me described it after they watched it were like, it's basically porn. So I was like, oh, we're going to watch, like, sex. It was just like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Um, but yeah, I like missed out on all the, like, I didn't learn anything about the female body because they put the girls in one. Oh, They gave us an opportunity after to write anonymous questions. And there were some of the funniest kids. I think in the world, some of the funniest kids that I've ever met were in this health class. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Specifically, my friend Chris, who would just write things about Mr. Labby in it. But it was like... Or like you'd write really embarrassing things, but the health teacher didn't know if it was a real question or not, so he had to read them out loud. And it would be like, he's like, what does it mean if my penis is like 11 inches long or whatever?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And Mr. Labby would have to read it for everyone, and we would all have to keep a straight face, but like, just putting this guy through the roof. Yeah, it sounds like a nightmare.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
So they have to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Yeah. Jeez. Yeah. Mine was all together. Mine was guys and girls. Oof. And parents. And parents. And I specifically remember learning about menopause and being like, this feels like we're jumping the gun. I don't think I need to know about this. Do you guys remember discovering Wikipedia had everything you wanted to see ever?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Jerry texted me on Friday. This is last Friday. I went out on a run. He was at the house with his girlfriend. And while I'm out on the run, he texts me, bringing back some pizza.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Because it was technically... You could look up boobs. Like half...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
i feel like i got it my foray into it was like no i don't mind there's just there's talk about something else no like the first like nudie images i was looking up were like like sports illustrated swimsuit edition just like i one of my some kid post some guy posted his uh his son's like youtube history yeah and it was like how to hump
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And, like, one afternoon, it was, like, how to hump, how to fight my dad, giant boobs. But we discovered that, like, on the school laptops, like, Wikipedia was not blocked, obviously. Like, nothing on it was up there. So we were just looking up, like, giant boobs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And then, like, my friend, like, Henry was looking up, like, he was like, dude, if you look up, like, giant cock, it'll, like, show it to you. And the teacher, I think, if you're listening, Mrs. Vita Taylor, I'm pretty sure you caught us. And she...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
think baby thought we were like like a ragtag group of like young gays because like when she caught us it was like veiny penis like we were just like curious like what it was all about but i remember like the boobs page was like not the kind of boobs you like wanted to see like it was very like sterile and like yeah almost like medical it was like yeah it was not hot dried up like nips
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Did I ever tell you about when my dad's friend's snake got loose at school? Your dad had a friend named Snake?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
You're like luggage, like a giant thing at the foot of your bed that had all your clothes and stuff for the semester.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
was it oh it was like a boarding school no this was at college but like i guess he had one of these and this guy kept a snake in it and i guess he forgot to latch it yeah and they came back and it was gone and he was like you could you you could swear you heard in the pipes i hate snake what was the first uh what was the first time you found like a sexy website i think it was i don't know
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I get home. They walk in with pizza. And I go, I'm guessing one of those slices is for me. And his poor girlfriend's like, what? Yeah, I mean, I guess we could get one for you. I was like, well, you texted bringing back some pizza. And he goes, oh, now I realize how that sounded. He just was telling me. Totally in the raw. He was just letting you know? He was just letting me know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I don't remember. Lauren? I remember, like, a kid. I remember Daniel telling me about, like, I think it was KJ had accidentally. I think there was a game we used to play. A website we used to play games on called, like, sixgames.com. And he had accidentally gone. KJ had accidentally gone to sexgames.com.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Or something. I might have made that up. No, he definitely did not accidentally go. He was just like, all right. I just remember finding out about it. I'm like, no way. What was sexgames.com? I don't know. I don't think I ever went. Do you remember the old-timey arcade games at bars and stuff?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
We all had to go watch our older siblings at a track meet. And it was kind of like a meeting of the minds. You just learn about new stuff from the older kids. This kid, Tully, was like, when you get home, you should look up Alexis, Texas. I was like, done. Done. Wrote it down in my notes app. Went home on the desktop and was like, Alexis, Texas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And then, like, kind of made my way in there. Got really into porn for about a week. But I didn't have a personal laptop, so I had to wait until, like, everyone was gone. Yeah. I'm not looking forward to that. What? When my kids are... I don't think you'll know. I hope not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I remember... I don't... We're not going to have kids with each other, right? It's got to be with a girl. I don't know. It's got to be with a girl, unfortunately. But I remember I could tell when one of my roommates was jerking off because the shower would start. And then there would be like five minutes and then the music would start playing. And then I realized like, oh...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And I remember coming down for breakfast one time and I was just like, do you, he's like, do you let the, like, do you let the shower like really heat up before you get in? I was like, no. He's like, all right. And it was definitely like the shower started. There was 10 minutes and then just the loudest music of all time after.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
What is the urge to, like, do that, to jack it when you're getting nothing out of it? What do you mean getting nothing out of it? I don't know. These people are freaks. Like, anytime someone sees it, they immediately leave. Oh. I don't know. They're freaks, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
In case you had like a phobia to pizza. And then it made me seem like a freak.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Last one, I was on Omegle. This is, like, horrible to do. Yeah, this is disgusting. The last time I ever went on Omegle, because it scarred me so much, it was a guy had set up his...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
laptop on like the back part of his toilet yeah it was just like full body going nuts on himself to the thing we like screamed and kind of hit the laptop like off the thing and then couldn't get it my last memory was like reaching for like escape or whatever the thing was that got you out of it and it was just him clearly liking that we fucked it up but he was like all right that's why it was weird i'm like not keeping this and
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Can I go to the bathroom? I think we should do the roadmap.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
We wanted to take a second to let you know about our go-to personal care brand, Everyman Jack. I went on a hike yesterday and then I had to go right to a Korean barbecue place right after. And I was stinky and I was like, Shit. Can I say shit? I'm going to stink tomorrow. Or at barbecue.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Everyman Jack is the clean men's care brand made specifically for guys from body wash to deodorant
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Not our Lauren. Jerry's Lauren. She's not Jerry's.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
there is a big football game coming up and whether your team is in it or not you're gonna need energy to watch all the action accelerator is literally the perfect energy drink to stock up on and they have a killer deal going on right now if you go over to drink accelerator.com now you can get 10 off all cases with code kelsey giveaway named after my bud and co-worker travis kelsey and
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
and be entered for a chance to win a signed Travis Kelsey jersey. I will also be entering, so you're up against me. All my drink buddies, if you know what's good for you, go hit the link in the bio to get all stocked up. Hell yeah. Go team. Oh, you want to do something to Lauren? Let's tell her a real news story from today so that we'll earn her trust back.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Lauren, did you hear that the tariffs are paused for 30 days?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Did you hear that tariffs are pogs for 30 days? I'm serious. Did you hear that the tariffs on Mexico and Canada have been paused for 30 days?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Angela's such a tight ass. A lovable tight ass, though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Yes, bringing back pizza. That's not that great either, though. No, when to go grab. But bringing back is like for you. We're going to grab a bite. We'll be right back. Bringing back implies like you better be hungry because I'm bringing back a lot of pizza and I need some help with it. Yeah, exactly. And guess what? I was hungry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And then Daryl's like, nah, that one's going to be racist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
We could have just pressed pound and re-recorded the... Voicemail?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
No, you're fine. There's no effort to run around. Wait, what? Did you send something in Slack?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
It's probably our mom's new dog, Bear. Yeah, I was going to tell you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Yeah, check, please. That won't be one. That's already exist. That's already exist. Lauren, why don't you pitch us? All right, Liam. Remember Kevin Chilly? Dude, Flynn brought her lunch over last night. She had meal preps for work. It was literally four grains of rice and one thing of chicken. Chicks don't be eating. Bleep that. Will accidentally swore. I didn't say it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Oh, you have to bite it through the wrapper because it's too cold in your teeth. Melting on your finger. Oh, leaves a color on your tongue. Joke sucks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Will and I are guys, so you might as well be speaking Chinese or something. That's not, I don't know what a curling iron is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Yeah, I like this idea a lot. I do experience this with Popsicle. How often are you eating Popsicles? Not enough. But you know what I was thinking? It should have also like a little dish for like the runoff. So it's like a little dish with the two things. You can set that. Kind of like for incense. Yeah, for insects too.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And then just see the look in, like, Lauren's face. She's like, oh, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
So all the juice you get... It's kind of like my idea that I saw. It's not my idea, but it's a never-ending candle. How does that work? Burn the wick, it melts into a thing, and then there's more wick at the end, so it forms a new candle where the wick was. It kind of does that already. No, no, no, candlestick. Never-ending candlestick. But doesn't it burn off into... So it's impossible.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
You need to what? The first couple nights. You do that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
You believe in that shit? It's like hippy dippy bullshit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
You believe in that? You believe burning some shit in your apartment is going to get rid of ghosts?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
your house was haunted one of our houses like the before no no like surrounded by crazy people before we moved the house i grew up in was haunted and my sister was like convinced that it was and then apparently the new owners said something to my mom like was it like haunted when you guys lived here and she was like i don't know yeah i don't i don't think any of that shit's real
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I love that. I love that a lot. I would mostly use it to listen in on people's conversations. Can you do that? I don't think that's what it is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I like it because then you could all be cruising to the set. You look over and you're like, I hopped in the cab. And you look over and they're like, L-A-X. And then the guy in front of you is like, with my dream in my party hands. And you're just doing the whole.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I'm pretty sure it's Party Hands. It's definitely Party Hands.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Have you ever heard Robot Rock? No. Roman. Human. It's a Daft Punk, and Jerry in his car... Daft Punk's great. Jerry has this Daft Punk live album in his car. He let me and my friends borrow it one time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
It's a CD. Oh. And we don't... His thing doesn't work to play off your phone, so we just start driving.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
like his charger thing. And we start driving to the, we have like an hour long drive and like the CD just starts playing. And the first song is this song, robot rock. That just goes, well, I'm not human. We're all about, it was excruciating. Anyway. Sorry. What were you saying?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I just wanted to bring it to light, and I was like, you know what, Jerry's here. I might as well loop him in. But how are you doing? I'm chilling. What are you guys talking about? I was just telling them that my dog is about to die this week, and then you came in and told us about a new type of pizza with three beans.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
dangerous i mean it's different on every street you can't turn right at every light but the default is right on right but not in new york city all right what is the worst part about white noise i like pink noise is that real yep okay what's the worst part about any of those noises you get bored
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
i don't know i've never used them there's brown noise white noise is that there's like actual noise coming out and it's still like and the whole point is to just have like nothing going on in your head right introducing clear noise okay so it's just there it's a recording of like literally nothing
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
You guys never heard a clear noise before? Clear noise is just like white noise, but without all the noise. It's just clear room ambient noise, but there's none.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
But that's impossible. Wow. Right? This is like a thing we're staying high level on? No, this is possible. That's not possible. I love it. Alright, go Deadly Silent right now. This is what it would sound like. Oh, wow, that would be cool. Right? Yeah, I like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
White Noise... Pink Noise, what is it, like the Barbie soundtrack?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
golf it's not i will do your brown noise impression all right pitch me brother all right beach boots i want to go jump in the ocean but i don't want to get here's all right this is what i hate i hate that when you get in the ocean You can't, like if you're just going for like a quick swim, there's no way to get out of the ocean and not be sandy by the time you get back to land. Facts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Beach boots are little, they're sand proof boots and you leave them at the shore and then when you get out of the ocean, you put them in and then you can walk back all the way home, take them off and you got no sand on your body. Uggs? No, they're beach boots. Sorry. Maybe I didn't say that clearly enough. They're completely sand resistant. Sand can't stick to them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And when you put your feet in... I just... Or we build little canals that go water all the way back into the land so you can just swim in and get right out. I just hate... Shot out into the parking lot. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Apparently my dad used to wear those around Manhattan Beach. My mom thought it was really bizarre.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
My dad and my mom met in Manhattan Beach. Shellback? The way they describe it, it sounds like Shellback. Apparently the story goes...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
What is up with apricots? What's the deal with baby food? It's all fucking applesauce. Why is all my food apricots? Give me a damn hamburger. Baby stand up. Are we rolling?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
So they switched. And Steve married the blonde one and my dad married my mom. And they both got divorced. And now your dad marries Steve.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
He's the product of it. We tried to poll people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I went and asked everyone. He's a perv. And almost no one has done it. Go back. Let's run through every pervy. For the record, I've never done it. Let's go through every pervy conversation on this podcast. Who's instigating perviness?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
He's a perv. Lauren called me a perv last week because I said Lauren was looking for sheets for her new bed and I was trying to be nice. And so I said, have you ever thought about getting flannel sheets? And Lauren said, I don't want flannel sheets. My body runs hot. And I was trying to be nice and keep it a workplace conversation. So I said, I don't want to know how your body runs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I don't want to hear about your hot body. And then she called me a perv in front of everyone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
that's true i'm glad we got that off your chest i'm telling you he's a perv though he keeps bringing up pervy stuff yeah he baits us into these conversations and i'm like we just spent 10 minutes talking about pervy shit so i'm i'm put you're on perv watch when we used to be wholesome yeah remember we used to talk about like really when we didn't even say any swears we used to not curse
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
It's true. Should we do our prank call segment? Yeah. Okay, Lauren, what do we got?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
But what if you have an important text to send or a funny meme to look at? You're not allowed to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
The office didn't pay for it. Remember your office, Kevin Chinley? Chinley. All right. Should we do our prank call segment? Yeah. What's up, Lauren? Or Will. I have a good prank call request for you. My dad recently built a sauna for his backyard that he's obsessed with.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
One of the things I wrote down... Well, I looked at my notes app and it just said pizza text. And I was like, what does that mean?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
It would be really funny if you guys called him and said that the neighbors have been complaining about it and the sauna isn't regulation size. His name is Bill and the phone number is... Let me look at that area code. I mean, that's Atlanta. What county is Atlanta? Gwinnett?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
You should just say the permitting division of the building department. All right. Let's do it. I'm nervous. Come on. Come on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
it was insane dude i came home i was like pizza time and i fucking humiliated myself i'm embarrassed for you and you want to hear the other idea i had here while you're still here i'll give you one more tidbit uh breaking up at hibachi
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Download Perplexity in the App Store and ask questions during the Super Bowl for your chance to win $1 million. Teach me something. Teach me something. Are you guys familiar with Sham the horse? Uh...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
It's something we came up with on our podcast. All right, you're breaking up with me, and we're at hibachi. Jerry, you're the hibachi chef. Will, there's no— Hey, kid.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Can I guess? Yeah. American Pharaoh. Sham. Oh, shit. That would have been the obvious.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Oh, it was the same race? The same race. So it's kind of a little testament to like... Wow. Your surroundings, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
sham came in second but if what but if if like he had been in any other race in history he would have come in first so it's like sometimes your best like your best possible yeah just isn't good enough isn't that crazy yeah that is insane i didn't know about sham do you think i wonder if it's like also like because secretary was running that much faster the horse like yeah went crazy i've always wondered that like i don't think they fully sometimes the horses just don't understand like the gravity of the situation
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Sorry, my wieners. That is an insane rusty rearrange.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
They have the context. Dude, I'm riding at adrenaline high. That guy was scary. Who is this?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I think we should do Hot Dad. We're going to do the scariest dad next week, Willie. No, don't give me scary dad. Or with Elise.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Oh, my God. Okay, this is a fun one. I was watching the old Star Wars, like A New Hope, and I was wondering about the... What? I'm just still laughing at the guy going, who is this? Who is this? I didn't hear it. I couldn't bear. Look up original Jabba the Hutt. So, like, they re-edited, like, A New Hope in retrospect to, like, add CGI shit that, like, wasn't available when the first one came out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Look at the original Jabba the Hutt in the first ever screening of Star Wars. It's just a guy. It's just a fat guy. Oh, what? Yeah. The top thing. Damn, that's gotta stink. Yeah, they were like, you're the villain for this. We haven't found a guy that looks like this yet, so you're the closest we got.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
The one below it. Were there comic books out yet? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
It was just that guy. What is a hut? There's... I don't know. It's this made-up thing for Star Wars. Jabba. Jabba the Hut. Jabba the Hut.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Jar Jar Binks? Yeah. Where do you stand on Jar Jar? I like Jar Jar Binks. I think he's... People hate him for some reason. I know. I don't know. I'll say this. He was my favorite as a kid. He was, as now an adult who likes the films, I can see that he's a little annoying.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
But I think you got to understand that these movies aren't... The beauty of Star Wars is that it can resonate with all sorts of ages and ranges. And growing up, my favorite character was Jar Jar Binks. Is he Jamaican? No, he's a Gungan. But are they like, like they're clearly based off Jamaicans, right? Yeah, they come from Gungan City.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
It's simple to participate. All you have to do is download the Perplexity app, enter and ask questions during the game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
oh i like that i'm gonna probably look up what's the fastest someone's ever run in a game like miles per hour i like that oh what about this how many layers can you make a cake before it tips over is that a dumb one that one's dumb but i think what i might what i might look up is how many layers are in a seven layer dip can you go to eight or is that now an eight layer dip is that a completely different thing
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
All right, well, I guess there's only one way to find out, and that's Perplexity AI. Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. So head to perplexity.ai, download the app, and get in the game. Let's get back into the episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
That's a good segment. Character? Should we do that more frequently?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Every time I see one of those videos, it makes me mad because I wasn't part of a group that did that. I know. I don't know. I think those people sometimes are insufferable, though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
yeah that's a good point i guess it's cool it was cool to watch for 15 seconds but imagine like every party you went to in high school they like took it over yeah i mean i would i would be storm leading the charge don't get me wrong but yeah i would be doing insufferable things i'm gonna do insufferable things to you oh all right who's this well this is chase clint uh wait you already liked this
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
No, I don't think so. I think that's like a thing that we just got.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I might pour me a drink. Brother Jack and I go to hell for my doctor things. My boss keeps on telling me my attitude stinks. But I ain't about wasting my time firing out those games. God didn't make me perfect. Sure as hell won't ever be. I'm a little rough around the edges, but baby, that's fine with me. Rough around the edges. Rough around the edges.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
We already talked about it. No, I made it. I made a big. Oh, yeah. I'm glad I have you here. I made a. It's not good. It's Jerry. How was it, Jerry? It's interesting. That's the guy who wants to be nice to his roommate and you made him the worst dinner of all time. It's interesting. I made him dinner.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
No, they come and do it. But it's just, there's a lot going on. I was like really hungry and we did it. And I was like, I think that was my problem. I think I do really like it. And the food is, you can't beat. But. What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
But like, I just, I was so hungry that I was like, I can't, I just want a big platter of shit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
It's kind of like when like hibachi is taking a while.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Yep. On the plate. On the plate. Imagine getting broken up with Hibachi. All right, let's reenact that. Okay. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. That's a callback to earlier when we had that other producer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Yeah, well, let me pull mine up so that we can go quick and then clip it in a way that looks like it was off the dome. All right, these are ways to tell someone you have to go to the bathroom.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I need to put a strain on your drain. I have a business call and the client is not happy. It's time to release the cargo hold. Mr. Brown is knocking. Where do you keep the wet goods? My groundhog is seeing his shadow. I'm dropping at Toot Lake. Guys, just a real timeout. That's from Fortnite, the video game. All right, go ahead. Brownies are ready. I'm ready to squeeze the bottle from both ends.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
All right. Wait, I have more. Oh. I have to go charm my snake. I've got to go snake the drain. All right. All right. These are ways to ask for the check. They're so bad. This one's good for dads. Like, all right, what's the damage? That exists.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
It's the slipper you put the tip on. All right, honey, take my money. Time to settle with my metal. That's when you've got one of those metal credit cards. I like that. I'd love to stay, but I got to pay. All right, I'm going to toss 20 and get funny. Tipping 20%. You know the drill. Bring me that bill. I'll pay for this one if you get the next. To the waiter? I like that. I like that a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
These are pictures of my nuts. Put a picture of Will's nuts right here. I'm joking, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Apparently, I was on one last episode. Yeah, you were. You're being a perv. All right. All right. Comment if you want Rusty to say a bunch of pervy shit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Welcome back to Rusty's perv hour where I say the pervious thing I can think of. Give me. Give me a second. No, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Oh, whoa. Just because he's homeless means he stinks? He'd be hopping trains and stuff. He'd be looking for old timey weather. He'd have like a big stick with a banana on the end with all his goods in it. He'd be trying to find out what weather it is using old timey techniques.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
most of them what and when i i don't say most of them in a derogatory manner i mean the other man oh god i'm talking about this was a weird episode all right this is every episode this is our strangest episode yet we love you guys uh oh wait for the monday episode that we someone commented that we have to say whose personality we stole last weekend
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Your number one advocate for this food doesn't know what it is. I don't care. Lauren is not my number one advocate. I'm my own best advocate.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
How do you never know? I don't know. I'm going to Nashville this weekend, so I'm stealing Garth Brooks' personality. I don't even know any of his songs. We are going to Nashville.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Nice. Isn't that crazy he did that? Yeah. What if he killed someone? He almost did. Oh, really?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I have a wig. I don't know if I can on the 15th. I'm sorry. What do you have on the 15th?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
That sounded like the worst. I feel like you're telling the truth, but that sounded like the worst lie of all time. I have to go to a national park. Yeah, I'm going to Channel Islands. Where's that? It's like a couple hours north of here or something. I don't know. I have friends visiting from Boston.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Honestly, we're getting too many visitors these days. We have like at least one person a month for the next four months. And I feel bad for Jerry because it's like me and Scott's college friends, but Jerry doesn't know any of these people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Episode 77? Yep. That is the... I don't know. I don't fucking know anything anymore. I feel like... 77 is such a high number.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And then I had a bunch of other stuff in my backpack and I was worried it would spill. So I'll bring it on Wednesday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Have you seen the office? Where did Kevin chili?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Kevin's chili. It's in the office. The office? Kevin Malone. Kevin chili bringing the whole thing. Chili bringing it in. He spills the chili out of that show. All right. That was Jerry. That was my roommate, Jerry. Give it up for Jerry, everyone. Woo! But that's a good point. It was on Saturday, actually. I cooked. I don't really want five-day-old Skyline.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I feel like that's kind of a time-sensitive thing, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I have something I froze if that makes you feel better about it. You have what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
uh-uh bad after three days you've never had it no i'm saying food goes bad after three days that's such if it was like pre-packaged that's just i hate how much you i this is why i don't want to give you skyline because it's like you're too stubborn like it's good it's really good scott loved it went back for seconds i had two plates and my dad too like it's it's delicious we love it it's my favorite food in the world the reason why i said that's not dinners because i missed the beginning i thought you said you made dip no no i made like a three like we all did three ways
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Spaghetti, chili, and cheese. You don't want to hear about you, your dad, and Scott's three-way. I'm going to bring some on Wednesday and you're going to try it and I know that you'll say you don't like it no matter what. I don't think so. I think one thing about me is that I will admit when I'm wrong. That's not a thing about you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Do you remember that whole thing about the fucking... You thought PTO... If you didn't use your PTO, you get paid? Oh, we were in a meeting today. Do you want to tell them?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
We were in a meeting today. That meeting ruined my mood. We have a potential deal with Margaritaville at sea, which is like the dream.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
He's basically threatening to shoot down our PTO so that we didn't go on a cruise that we were going to get paid for. I don't know what the hell that was about, actually.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Because he doesn't want us to miss work. But the brand is offering to pay us and the company to do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
i don't know i think it's just like a power thing it was really strange i guess maybe i shouldn't no he doesn't listen to this um okay so whatever i'll tell i would say it on friday on friday will and i were shooting basketballs in the office and i shot one through oh yeah i shot one through the window It was like a one in a million shot. I'm shocked it even happened.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
probably i saw a stand-up clip on tiktok yeah funny numbers guy how old he's like how old are you and the guy like pause he's like don't you know what to stand have you never had a stand-up show before we all write down on this piece of paper how old we are then add it up and it gives a big funny number he's like last week's was 419 he's like that's i couldn't tell if it was real or not no i think it was a joke lauren how are you doing i'm good how are you
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
But it was sandwiched perfectly. We'll put a picture of it right here. Sandwiched perfectly between the machine and the window and shattered one of the windows. And bots, our finance guy, texted Edge and was like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
And within seconds... He's also at his uncle's funeral. So it was probably the worst day to do it. And they just responded, Rusty. And Mott said, yep. Yep. So... I got really lucky.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
I started I've been doing this actually for like a couple weeks of I keep saying no one's ever made it from behind this line and shooting from like this one like line like really far back away from the basketball hoop and I've definitely done it 10 times as much as anyone else and I was doing it for like 20 minutes and he walked up and like her shot wasn't your first shot first shot sent it right through the window.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Yeah, the shatter heard around the office. People were calling it. Remember? Remember, Lauren? I remember. You remember? He now has to do 10 weeks of community service. I walked out of my bedroom yesterday and I went out onto the couch and my roommate, Zach, was sitting there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
Dude, he must have woken up feeling dangerous.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
It's a big, it looks like an NBA finals ring. I actually don't mind that if you're in the house. I think if you start going out and about, then it's like, okay. Ty's reasoning was it's only weird if you're not in public. He was like, it's not even like you're going anywhere. I think it's a weird, I would be weird to wear your high school state championship ring in public, but I think in your house,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she broke up with me at hibachi
It's weird, but it's funny. He didn't see the humor in it either. Yeah, I see the... I don't mean... I'm talking shit. I never won a chip. Oh, my God. Bright. Oh, my God.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
discovering a NEW bug w/ will angus
Hey, what's up? I'm Raven, he or I said Beth, Princess of the Darkness. And I'm Tara. And we're sitting here in Tara's room, rocking out to MCR and celebrating 2009, or the new year. Which, we don't really understand why people are making such a big deal about it, because really, one more year is one more year that everyone's closer to death.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
kebab fever destroyed my relationship
3000 Action-Filialen in Europa und wir feiern mit extrem niedrigen Preisen. Zum Beispiel Palmolive-Shampoo 750ml nur 1,29 und unsere weichen Hotel-Royal-Baumwoll-Handtücher nur 2,49. Für noch mehr extrem niedrige Preise besuche unsere Filialen oder schau in die App Action. Kleine Preise, große Freude. Musik
Will & Rusty's Playdate
kebab fever destroyed my relationship
Ich würde einen Kind nennen, der so ist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Die Frau aus der anderen Woche. Die Frau aus dem ersten Tag. Ja. Ich wusste es.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Wait, where'd you go?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Yeah. Which part? Wait, wait, so you kissed in the Uber.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
So what, would we start with just people in the LA area?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
So first we yap and then we do the road map.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
No, no, no. Sometimes it's like nearly an hour. Wow. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
It's been like 35 minutes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Ja, es gibt viele andere Wege, wie man das durchführen könnte.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Rusty, your story. Oh, my way of God.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Nein, aber die Leute wollen es wissen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Das sind unsere Playmates. Okay, der erste ist von Luke Lovess.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Good afternoon, WRL. What I bring to the table is a game changer. Now, what's the worst part of taking care of your boy slash girl who's way too drunk?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Okay, he says, Man-sized. Wie es funktioniert, ist das Konverter-Poly-System, das auf dem Boden beginnt, am Schlafzimmer. Du musst den Verletzten zu dem Apparatus schützen. Dann wird es sie in den Tübchen holen. Dann wird es sie in den Tübchen holen, wo sie mit Body Wash gesprayt werden, mit unseren patented Roller-Spungen, dann mit Shampoo und dann mit den Roller-Spungen wieder.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
I mean, his name doesn't sound very... What is it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
luke lovas l-o-v-a-s-z sounds like a guy i think he's from fresno he looks maybe he's like japanese american i don't know okay um i don't know i like it i think it's great i love the intention i'm a little worried about the complications of installation and maintenance i'm gonna be out on this one okay but i like the intention that's a no from you dog dude you're randy so do it like him
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Alright. Next pitch is from Brooke Rickers or Rikers. I'm in. Brick. That's what we call him. Brick. Yeah. I think it's a lady. That's what we call her. Alright. She says, hello babysitter Lauren and the children. Hope you are having a good playdate. What is the worst part about a good perfume or cologne?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Ja. Sie sagt den Preis, also wenn es ein guter ist. Sie sagt, wenn du all die wichtigen Orte, Rücken, Nacken, etc. willst, benutzt du bereits mehrere Spritzungen und niemand hat das Geld dafür. Hier ist meine Million-Dollar-Idee. Ein Läden-Detergent oder Drehschicht, der riecht wie dein gewünschter Perfum oder Cologne.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
There can be multiple scents of each to choose from so that you and your clothes can smell amazing right when you put them on. Everybody loves people who smell good and now that can be you with a little extra cash in your pockets for more Legos or concert tickets. Love you guys in the pod.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Do you guys have a desire or like a favorite cologne? I don't.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Es ist verrückt, wie die Szenen dich zurückbringen. Ich rieche die Perfume, die ich in der Schule trage, und es triggert mich. Ich bin so, wow, das erinnert mich an einen Ex.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Doesn't last very long.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Willie, this is perfect because Chomps is one of our sponsors today. I don't even think you knew that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
I feel like everyone goes through that at some point though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Ja, einige Hunde sehen TV. Ich denke, sie mögen auch andere Hunde.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Am Tag des Michigan-Ohio-State-Games war meine Onkel und mein Puppe das Puppen-Show. Wann? Das Westminister-Puppen-Show, das auf TV war. Sie sagten, er wurde vor dem TV eingeproppelt und währenddessen eingedeckt. Sieh, das ist die Forschung, die wir brauchen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Actually, yes. I went somewhere in D.C. It's like an indoor thing? They don't got those in New York.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Erinnere dich an eine Banane, wenn es ein Stick war. Wie ein Fleischstick, aber eine Banane.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Ja. Das klingt verrückt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
This is like some random Albert Einstein that no one knows.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
What are you talking about?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
You almost for a second, I was like, what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
I slacked it to Brian. This guy rocks. This guy rocks. This guy rocks today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
This is light prep for them day parties.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
This just reminded me, I had the most gnarly dream last night, kind of related to this. Me and one of my best friends from home, we were in this room, it was a party, and there were a ton of people there, and then all of a sudden... Sounds awesome. So the room cleared out, there was like eight guys in there, and just me and her, and then they started fighting each...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Er ist ein Therapiehund. Wow. Oder sie, Pearl.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja. Okay. I also have to add that almost every time that I gamble, for example buy 50-50 raffle tickets, play slots, sports bet, etc., she responds with something along the lines of, you shouldn't be wasting your money on that, you should be saving up for a ring.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
They started fighting each other. They would pick one guy, it would be like six versus one, and they would just beat the shit out of them. What's the eighth guy doing? I don't know. There would be two other guys watching, and then me and Katja were just in the corner watching. I'm like, do you want to go? And she was like, no, we should stay. I want to watch. Are you fucking awesome?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
It seemed kind of cliche to me that when I win money from gambling, she wants 50% of it, but when I lose money, she says how I shouldn't be wasting my money. Am I the asshole?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
He probably maybe just graduated. I think like he's
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Yeah, I bet. Yeah, I feel like it's weird on both ends. It is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Okay. Am I the asshole? I might have ruined my parents' marriage with ASMR. Am I the asshole? So I, 20 male, listen to ASMR.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
No, no, no. I asked them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
I was like, why are you guys doing this? And they were saying that they bet on it and are getting money from it. And so vivid. One time, as if this was an ongoing thing, at one point in the dream, the biggest guy there crushed one of them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Okay. Oh, Gibby, yeah. Gibby. Okay, that's the Gibby I now. Oh, it's like a person. Okay, so she does.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Okay. I've tried to tell her that I told him about it and it's not sexual in any way, but she still argues about it. He stopped, but she still brings it up and I just can't help but think it's all my fault. Am I the awesome?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Oh no, it said he stopped, but she still brings it up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Aber okay, ich glaube, die Frau sollte, wenn der Sohn es seinem Vater empfiehlt, es ist schon nicht seltsam, dass... Nein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Sie hatten sehr bestimmte Gesichter, aber ich habe sie noch nie gesehen, aber sie hatten echte Gesichter. Was für ein wildes Phänomen. Es war verrückt. Er springt so hart auf ihn und schlägt alle seine Beine weg.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Do your resolutions first.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Ja. Ich fühle mich wie du, weißt du, was du sagst, dass du Freunde mit deinen Exen bist. Ich fühle mich, dass du all deine Freunde, all deine Exen zu deiner Geburt anrufen würdest.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Did you just fart again?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Yeah. Is he the little one?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Whose personality are you stealing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Neue Shirt, auch. Neue Form. Ich habe dieses Shirt schon ein bisschen. Es ist einfach nicht genug kalt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
I'll take it. Glasses maybe? Glasses, sweater, jeans? I'm going to take the personality of a very, since 2025 just started, I want to be super on top of my shit and really hardworking. I want this to be the best year, so I'm going to take a really hardworking person's personality.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Ja. Okay, was sollten die Leute kommentieren?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
I don't like when that takes over the comment section. I want there to be information.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Comment your favorite thing about Billy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
That's crazy. We hit in a thousand reviews. On Spotify? On Spotify, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
I've been wanting a clock.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
brion bishop reveals his wildest new year's resolution
Er hat mich gesehen, er hat mich gesehen, er hat mich gesehen, er hat mich gesehen, er hat mich gesehen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
So what did you say? Big weekend plans? Big weekend plans. Yeah. I'm having a killer barbecue tomorrow. You guys are both coming.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I'm excited. Are you going to dress up? I'm thinking about wearing my seersucker derby suit. That would be fun. I said no attire required because I don't really... want to dress up but i have a horse shirt yeah man so i'm probably gonna wear my horse shirt actually i have a i have a do you know what a party shirt is yeah i'm gonna wear a party shirt oh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Really? uh i'm having some tea right now from dog town i my throat t woke up this morning what oh t sis you know why'd you get ashamed of that that got really nervous uh i thought maybe you were gonna say like gay you thought i was gonna be like gay i don't come on man we're guys we're not gonna call each other gay
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
perfect it's a button down emily where each panel is a different uh color oh i didn't know that i thought you made this like a cool shirt oh like this is my party shirt it's like yeah chicks making out wait google party it's called party shirt like a party shirt button down yeah so it's that like like similar to that one on the left where oh that's fine each panel is a new color
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
You definitely have not seen me wear it unless you went to college with me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I only think I've worn that. I've worn that shirt probably twice and both times were in college. That was a killer fucking story. Yeah, that was pretty good. Emily, you're not talking very much today. It's bumming me out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And let me tell you, they taste like a freaking milkshake. I mean, it's actually so delicious. And to know that I'm getting everything I need in my body tastes good and it's easy kind of checks every box. I mean, the only other thing, maybe if it gave me a back rub. But listen, I don't want to get greedy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Because I had a new bird this morning that was driving me fucking nuts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
It sounded like a robot. If yours, it gave you the answer, you didn't like the answer, and so you picked from a list that it gave you?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And then I ended up finding it. Oh, I took my first Waymo. Waymo. Which I had previously not given this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I was very anti-Waymo for a while. And I took one and the only thing I didn't like about it was you have to wear your seatbelt because it knows. But then I figured out if you just buckle it, you just buckle it before you sit down, then you can sit down. Because it's not a normal seatbelt. It like clicks in. So you're like, it's like a roller coaster. Like you're like strapped.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Do you still not wear a seatbelt in Ubers? Never. Why would I not wear a seatbelt?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Ubers can't crash. I've been in an Uber crash. They can't get in fatal ones.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
They haven't patched that yet. That's like the number one way to die is a car accident. That's just not true. What's the number one? Heart disease? Probably. What's the number one way to die? Okay. Heart disease. Thank you. Wait. Go back down to leading cause of death. Go down. Scroll down. Click that. Let's see it. Heart disease, cancer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
It's the third way to die. That's just accidents in general. Like an accident could be anything. Okay, all right. Outside of like diseases and illnesses, it's definitely the number one way to die. No. Car crash? No. Google top ways to die that isn't a disease. Top ways to be killed. Top ways to be killed. Boom. Number one, motor vehicle. Number two is poisoning. Wait, time out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yeah. As opposed to what? Intentional injuries? Number one, suicide. Okay. Willie, by your logic. Wait, I was looking at that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I thought it was funny on the last episode that I forgot that Grace had no context to it being a joke that she moved to Mexico. So I was like, our producer, Lauren, is a big fan of yours. She was like, oh, well, enjoy your life in Mexico. Have fun in Mexico. We made Emily run through a checklist that she made for herself. Because here's the thing. I'm fucking tired of it. It's not you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
God. By my logic, what? By your logic, like, I should be wearing floaties when I swim because drowning is technically an unintentional injury. Or, like, I should never... You think that that's the same? You're insane. Are you being serious right now? I'm just saying... I don't think it's the same at all, but... Wearing floaties when you swim is the same as wearing a seatbelt when you drive?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
No, I'm just saying, like, to your... Like, just because it is the number one thing doesn't mean that, like... That could ever happen to me. It absolutely could happen. It could happen to me. That doesn't mean it will happen to me. I just don't, personally, when I'm in an Uber, the bigger threat to me is the Uber driver. Like shooting you? No, like, you know, knife. Knifing you? Grenading.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
You're more worried about an Uber driver grenading you? I'm just saying, like, the bigger threat in the car is the stranger.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
This is insane. It's definitely true that the bigger threat in the car is the stranger than the car. I mean, are you joking? You think more people are... This is the worst take I've ever heard. Emily, go to chat GPT.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
More... Wait, assaults just in the world or from Uber drivers? In the world. They're still a stranger. Are there more assaults per year? That's not what we're talking about. I'm saying there's a better chance. You're just trying to reframe it so you can get something. There's a better chance I get assaulted than I get in a car crash. No, there isn't.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
They do background checks. Why don't we just find out? This is just not relevant. Oh, and look, car crashes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And car crashes are more common than assaults. So even when you do your dumb little method. What about rape? Assaults plus rapes plus... That's all types of assaults. Assaults plus rapes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And six million... No, it's four million. It's six times more as likely. No, it's four million if it includes all those other ones. What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
It literally says... No, I'm talking about car crashes is six million.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I know. I'm saying assaults is four million. How does that help your point? I'm just saying there's two threats and I... So you're going to... What are you doing to protect yourself from assaults? If the seatbelt's not on, I can use it as a weapon. The second he comes, I can fucking wrap around his neck. Yeah, wait. I have it almost clicked in the whole time. And then if he comes, I go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Well, you should wear a seatbelt when you're in an Uber. Definitely. I just don't like to. Ugh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I don't even know what to say. I'm more just saying I wear it when I drive my own car. I wear it typically when I'm in someone. It's just there's no thing that dings if I'm in the backseat, so why would I wear it? I'm aware that it's more dangerous. I'm just saying I don't like the way it feels on my body. Unless I have to wear it, I don't want to wear it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I don't know if this is coming out the way you think. Oh, really? I mean, it's fine, but it's like, that is what the class... What do you mean? I don't know. You're not saying it's good or bad. It's not literally homosexual. I don't know. It's like... Name the last time you saw a guy... If you see a guy walking... European, bro. Europe? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And when an Uber driver asks me to put it on, I put it on with no fuss. That's good. No fussed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
um what was i gonna say i gotta can i tell you something sure i wrote a few things in my notes app which is uncharacteristic we're very mellow today i'm very mellow no we are very mellow and i'm kind of liking the vibe it's friday we never record on fridays it's like friday afternoon is the last thing after this i'm gonna go uh like uh piss off a roof and black out in that order do you want to hear my bird chirp willie so we could see oh yeah hit me with that bird
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Oh, that's just a normal-ass bird. Completely normal-ass bird doing its thing. What's wrong with that? It's fucking... No, I have really loud chirps, too. It woke me up this morning. I like it, though. Just... That's too... I mean, obviously, that's too early. Close your window.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I think we knock down everywhere they used to live and put apartment buildings. And then we're like, you chirp when the sun comes up. No, I think that's why we need more apartment buildings. You're proving my point.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
All right, this is what I was going to say. When I was at Stagecoach, that's what I call Stagecoach, last weekend, me and... That was silly. Thank you. It was in a gated community. I think a lot of the Airbnbs out there... Stagecoach?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
A lot of the Airbnbs are in gated communities. Where is it? Palm Springs?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
yeah like out that way it's like like Coachella Indio technically it's like where they do Coachella we were in this Airbnb in a gated community like going into it I had like said to your roommate Ty I was like is this gonna be like an issue like should we get a different Airbnb he's like nah they're like because it said like you can only come in if you're staying there like and I need everyone's names I was like is that real and he's like nah like it's not like they say that but like it's always chill like you can bring your friends in and stuff like whatever
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
we get there it's like hot maximum security only people they check your id and verify that you're on the list that i sent our airbnb host and otherwise you cannot get in and uh like one of the people in our house tried to bring girls back the one night and they like were like nope and they just had the girls had to just like wait on the curb and call an uber home
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Because apparently, like, two years ago, they had, like, a rager, like, someone, like, people were, like, jumping off roofs into, like, the lake and shit and, like, going absolutely nuts. But anyway. You didn't get any ass this weekend? No, I've been steering clear lately. Of ass? Yeah. Dude. I've been laying low. I've been laying low.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Oh, Ty decides on Saturday he really wants to bring his buddy because they're all going to Uber to the festival together. We're like, how do we get him in? And he's like, let's message the Airbnb host and see if she can put him on the list. And then I'm like, all right, but you've got to do it. I had the Airbnb on my app.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I had booked it through my name, but I was like, I don't want to be part of this. It's awkward to ask. You have to figure it out. And then he's talking in circles. He's like, what do I say that's believable? I don't want her to think we're partying. Ty?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
yeah he gets like so it's so hung up he's like i'll say it's my uncle i was like what i'll say my uncle he gives me the phone back he's like all right messenger i look at the phone it's like hey my uncle just got to town randomly I guess he wants to stop by for just a second. He's my uncle. Is that okay? Can he get on the list? I was like, what? This is like the writings of a crazy person.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I'm going to, or sorry, continue. So she responds. She's like, no. So he has to go out, pick his buddy up down the block, hide him like under a blanket in his backseat and drive in. I am going to defend my boy here a little bit. Yes, that is like really. That's not a very good lie. I like that. He's not a good liar. Like, I think that that is like endearing and funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And like, he's not he's not good at it. So, you know, when he you know, if he I don't think I've ever seen him lie. And I think it's a testament to his character that he never forged that skill. He never sharpened his sword. Yeah, that's a good point. Because he just literally can't. It was just very funny to me. He was like, uncle? Why did I say uncle? He, after, was like, what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Why did I do that? Yeah. My uncle just got to town randomly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
My uncle just got to town randomly. No one thought he was going to be here. But my uncle's here right now. And we have to let him in now. He was like, no. Also, I left my fucking cowboy hat there like an idiot at the Airbnb. Dude, you have lost two Stetsons now? Well, I think I hope I can get this one back. I messaged a lady.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
That's not the end of the world. And I messaged her and I was like, was there a cowboy hat left there? And she goes, yeah, there were four. Hey, Emily, what's going on with your fingers today? Because every time I look over, it looks like you're texting, but you're just like going to town on your fingers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Our poor Paige, our head of our podcast department, listens to every episode. She was like, congrats on the 100th episode. Also, it was on this meteoric rise on the Spotify charts. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
That's why I bite my nails so much. It's horrible. Yours have grown back, though. Not really. Can I see? There was a point where you didn't have fingernails. Any nail is a good nail for Willie. I've never had the urge. It's pretty gross. I don't know why. I've done it literally since I can remember being alive.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
The only time I'll bite him is if I just don't have time to clip him and I'm already in the car. I'll bite him and spit him out the window. How do you get him down to nothing? That I don't do. You're fighting through the pain? This one hurts right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Skin to around them. I do that, too. Like, your cuticles? Yeah, yeah. And I, like. Your cuticles.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And, like, it sucks, like, I, like, bit this one, like, yesterday I went to try to play a little guitar after work, and I had bit this one so low that it, like, hurt to strum. And I'm, like, what am I doing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I do it with my eyelashes. You ever see that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I don't think those ones grow back as much.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Sometimes if I really needed good luck, I'd pull out a knife. That's just so I can make the wish. Sometimes I just pull my dick out and I don't really want to do this sentence anymore. Emily, you don't have balls, so you've never done this, but if you pull a hair out of your balls, it either doesn't hurt at all, like you don't feel it, or it's like the most painful thing of all time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Sometimes I'm like in the shower, and I'm like sitting on my little bench, and I get bored. And when I cross my legs like this, my balls are sitting like this, so I'm just looking at them. And I'll be like... I could go for a quick hair pull, and it either comes out like a hot knife through butter, or it feels like someone is injecting my testicles with acid. Emily, help me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And Paige is like, yeah, you guys went on way too long about how you would give him the craziest hummer. Mind-altering hummers. It felt bad. It's funny that our bosses have to listen to this. She's like an adult. She's engaged. She has a life. Can we talk about the crazy thing? We won't name names, but the crazy boss thing at another company? Probably not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yes, thank you, Willie. Emily, you couldn't come up with fucking acid? No. I got another story. My scenic piss bombed. Really? Look at Instagram. Go to Scenic Pisses.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Our company bought this account called Scenic Pisses. I did my viral hike. We mentioned this on a previous episode. This is the highest peak in Southern California. I was the highest pisser. Yeah, look it on the left. That's me. Watch it. Click on it. Every other piss is awesome. I think I had a bad stream. That's actually not as scenic as I think you would think it is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
That's Ben Barrett. That's extremely rare. Is that Ben? That is Ben Barrett.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Wait, go back to mine. Can you look at the comment?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Wait, what? You passed it. Sorry. What were the comments like flaming you? Well, it's because I fart at the end. Can't have rain without thunder. Dude was so relaxed. He let me out. 10 out of 10. Strong stream, brother.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
the thing is i i like didn't have to pee that bad so i was clenching so hard to pee that i could not help myself the point was to get the fart no i was no i was i was like trying so hard to pee that i was like using all my muscles down there i thought you meant you didn't have to be but you did have to fart and you were like all right it was i it was hard to pee and i was pushing so hard that everything down there was gonna come out yeah can you like can guys like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yes. What? Like while you're- Like stop, you go like, and you stop yourself from peeing. I don't know if you know this, but you can like move your penis. Like that's kind of interesting. If you go like, it'll go like. Not soft. Not soft. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not talking about like soft penises moving. That would be crazy. That would be voodoo magic.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Mine's like, you know, one of those like strings on or worms on like an invisible string you'd get like in your stocking as a kid. I can do that. Wait, sorry, what? It's fine. Emily, when was the last time you hooked up with a guy? Jesus.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Guy? College? You and I kissed on Wednesday. Yeah, every cold case is he makes me kiss him. I don't make you kiss me. You make me fuck you and we end up kissing. All right, folks, you've heard it before, but if you haven't upgraded your energy to accelerator right now, you are seriously missing out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
We both drink these every day, and I can't really think of a better endorsement for a product, quite honestly. I went on a hike last weekend. I brought one in my backpack, and I drank it at the top of the mountain, and I flew down that shit. The cotton candy flavor, still a favorite. I can't tell, at first I thought maybe like the new factor would wear off, but nope, this one is effing delicious.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I was not feeling that great this morning, and I was like, okay, what did I do differently? Forgot to have my morning accelerator. I felt like a million, I feel like a million, look at me. I feel like a million bucks after.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
All right, guys, we're here to talk to you about one of our new favorite sponsors, Dollar Shave Club. Guys, growing facial hair is personal. Amen. We grow it. We style it. We shave it differently. Willie's going for a little mustache right now. I'm going for a little stubble. But when I do, I haven't grown a mustache in a while. I've been going clean shaven.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Basically, without giving too much information away, someone found out that their boss was... The masked man asking them for dudes for money. Like, from a fake number.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And when I do go clean shaven, you best believe daddy's going at it with the three-in-one freestyle. I shaved this morning, everything but my mustache. And guess what I used?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
bingo dollar shave club come on i use the razor that what do they call it it's got the oh the club the club series the handle yep it's like it feels like your hands getting a massage while you're shaving yeah and uh ladies out there or men whoever's into will i want you guys to know that even though he's keeping he's letting it grow on the top of the lip he's not forgetting from the shoulders down willie is still just as baby smooth as ever he's been yes it's like looking except for my cosmic bush
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
except for his cosmic but well so a lot of people don't notice willie actually does a fade out so it is very concentrated huge bush in the middle and then it fades out onto his uh legs yep um and that's very fun for me i before it was kind of giving me like a like like beard burn on my chin right and uh now it's like a pillow it's like a pillow that i sleep on yes willie got cowboy pillows tattooed on his nuts
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yeah, exactly. It's awesome. The shave butter I actually love. Here's what I'll say about the shave butter they have that is great. It's like completely like see-through.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And so you can see everything. So like with my new mustache where I'm trying to figure out where to go and where not to go, I get a little more control. It's precise. It's really great. And hey, you don't have to take our word for it. You can try it yourself. Dollar Shave Club products are now available everywhere.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
So you can order them from their website, Amazon, or get them at your favorite retailer near you. Alternatively, you can visit their site right now for 20% off, $20 or more, and get your products delivered right to your door. Visit dollarshaveclub.com slash playdate and use promo code playdate for 20% off, $20 or more. And remember, whatever you shave, welcome to the club.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Not at this company. No, no, no, no, no, no. What would you do if you found out Edge was texting you asking for, like, booty hole pics? I would be stoked because I would never, I would not have to work hard at all ever again. You know what I mean? I'd be like, all right. You'd have to work just hard enough. You can't fire me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Let's get back into the episode. oh i learned i learned this the other day we were driving home from we were driving to the airport from easter and we were talking weddings yeah there are all these like unwritten old-timey rules that apparently people are like still expected to follow like let's say let's say emily and i got married
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Emily and I got married. Emily's... If Emily... You have a brother, right? Emily's brother would be one of my groomsmen and my sisters would be Emily's... Correct. Whatever. Regardless of how close you are with them. Wait, what happened? So, like, if Emily and I got married, her brother would be one of my groomsmen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my sister... No. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And then the bride's parents typically pay for the wedding and the groom's parents typically pay for the rehearsal dinner. Correct. What if there's like a huge imbalance in like... I feel like they... Then I think it varies. Yeah. I feel like that probably is less...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yeah, I don't know. Case by case, I guess.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
What if when I get married, I'm bawling the fuck out and I want to have a sick wedding? Then you can help contribute. The marriage still counts? Yeah, it's just not as real. So, like, if you get in one fight, it's over. Right. It's like an incident. If you get in one fight, it's over. I never saw my parents kiss. I hate it when they kiss. It makes me uncomfortable. Okay.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I mean, as long as we're not, like, giving each other a tongue bath, I'm like... Well, because my dad, like, he'll do stuff where he's like... Yeah. And I'm like, stop it! No, but that's, like, way better than the alternative. He kind of does it to, like, play it up to make us uncomfortable. Right, right. Yes, you're right. It's better than... Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Way better than, like, them, like, hating each other and being together. Yeah, no, you're right. You're right. I think that when I get buried... I will try and keep it PG around the kids, but I think it's weird to not do it. Because your kids, that's where they learn what a healthy relationship looks like. I don't know if it works because no one in my family is in a relationship.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yeah, it is kind of interesting. I mean, I'm the last, so. Yeah. But like, yeah, my brother and sister are both in their 30s. I'm my age. I'm my age. None of us are in relationships at all.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
You'd have to work just hard enough that it wouldn't reflect poorly on him. Yeah, I'd have to come and do the podcast. But I would be like, I'm not – no more – I won't say the things I don't like. But I would immediately get rid of all my obligations that I don't like. Also, they added a security thing. I forgot my key card just now when I went to get a Diet Coke.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
why it's kind of funny because like all they're like you know i feel like sometimes i wonder if they're like secretly like damn i'd be ready for some grandkids oh yeah definitely dude my my my mom is like ready for him now and she had the oldest one kara is uh kara is lesbian thank you
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
care of something care of something where it would it would the child would probably come from adoption right now yeah so that's probably kicked down the road casey doesn't like men got it but is straight that was confusing okay yeah okay two lesbians and then i'm 23 yeah so i'm probably not gonna have a kid anytime soon and i think my mom is ready is your brother gonna have a kid soon
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
It means you're already pregnant when they got married. But they said they were already engaged. It just took a year and a half for them to get married. She was pregnant for a year and a half. Kara was huge when she came out. They got engaged a year after dating, which seems crazy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
and then they didn't get married for like another year and so i think like my they my dad said like when when carol was born like they tried to get everyone to forget the math because if you did the math carol would be like it was only like six months after they got married yeah yeah that is funny but not be able to drink at your own wedding that stinks Yeah, sometimes I think about that, though.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Like, if I woke up, like, hungover from my own wedding, I'd be so bummed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yeah. People say you're not supposed to, like, drink, drink. Like, you should have, like, a couple drinks. But that is, like, pretty common advice is, like, do not get hammered.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yeah, waking up hungover, your first day married together would be, hungover would be very sad. Yeah, I'm probably going to get married this year. I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it for sure. I think I'm going to get married this year. Nice. Joe wants to go on a double date this weekend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Oh, yeah. He's back? Oh, yeah, boy. Okay, because I saw his Instagram story and I was like, that's a weird thing to post about your ex. What did he say? He, like, posted a video of her and was, like, so proud. Oh. Like a Maroon 5 music video or something. Yeah. I asked you to... That's the last... So they're dating. That's the last place I would want my girlfriend is at a Maroon 5 shoot. True.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Get out of there. Yeah, they're together. That's good. He wants to double date. He said he hadn't told his mom...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
that he quit his job broke up with his girlfriend or got in a car accident until he was in the ambulance and so he had to call his mom because he had to tell her he quit his job because he no longer has health insurance he had to tell her that he broke up with his girlfriend because he there was no like she wasn't going to be able to take care of him whatever and and then he had to tell her about the accident he said he hung up and the guy in the ambulance was like jesus man get you got to get it together wait so we had to pay out of pocket
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Which is cheaper in California. Isn't that crazy? You get a discount. Oh, like he's enrolled automatically in something? No, no, no, no, no. There are two different invoices. So if you had insurance, it would cost this amount. And if you don't, it was cheaper. Okay, but not like what you would pay out of pocket isn't cheaper. But what they bill you for before the insurance steps in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I rang a thing and then Edge talks to you. Is it on his phone? Because he wasn't in his office when I walked by. It's probably like Butterfly. We have Butterfly at my house. No, it was a doorbell. It was a doorbell. Are you happy? Keep the laugh track in. All right. Yeah, put a laugh track in there. Like a Seinfeld laugh track.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
That is crazy. I don't know. I just don't think he liked it. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Where does she live? It's like, dude, honestly, don't get another job. It sounds like you just need to figure it out. Work like three more years and you're set for life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
When I worked at this pool, I was a pool boy, Emily. When I worked at the pool cleaning company, all the guys were like, Dude, cannot wait until winter. I was like, why? They're like, we all go on unemployment and make more. I was like, that's awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
But they were all... They were all... uh really good guys but a handful of them or at least the one i worked with was uh was on on perks parker sit which makes you makes it renders a lot of the rap the rap songs you thought were cool a lot less cool yeah it was like oh that's what it's like it doesn't sound enjoyable at all parker sit Molly Percocet. All right, let's roadmap it up. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Cool. Welcome to the fucking Playdate pod. Oh, sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yeah, because we're fucking groundbreaking. We're visionary.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
We can't predict what the first hour is going to be.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
We don't know what we're going to talk about. It's the whole point of the first hour. Emily, do you know if we upload an episode that's under an hour and a half, people comment, what is this, a YouTube short?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
He rocks in your house, and he rocks in your yard. Emily, say it. There's rocks in my yard? Sorry. Lauren usually says it, and we all laugh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
All right, and we're going to put a video. We're going to have Lauren check in from Spain here real quick. Lauren, tell us how you're doing. Muy bien. Yo estoy muy bien. It's rude to talk over Lauren. She's talking right now. Sorry, Lauren. Continue.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Ew. Oh, Kate Gross. Oh, put it away. Put it away. Bye, Lauren. Guys, unfortunately, we had to take the video out because Lauren misses us a lot, and she took out her butt and tried to fart through the camera.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
The first time I say doorbell, make it sound like I brought the house down. Are you editing this episode?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Playmates have been ideas of all time. Ways to say you're taken, like ways to say you have a significant other. I think we should frame it as ways to say you're spoken for. Ways to say you're spoken for. And then we're going to wrap up with Rusty's song of the day. We got...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
if i had to guess 1700 of you guys now by the time this episode comes out wow i think in reality it's probably 1200 but at the clip we're going we'll see um emily let's hear some motherfucking pitches boy do you have pitches for us i do have pitches right here you're the best this is a pitch submission from patrick sullivan hello lee harvey and all oswald oswald harvey Emily?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
The worst part about having six to seven beers is you have committed to drinking. You are no longer just having a beer or two afterward. You are now drunk and you have to either stop or keep going. And for people that have binge alcoholism, which I think a lot of us do secretly, or not secretly, but a lot of us don't realize that's what it is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
That's okay. He's good. He'll listen and do that. So we have Butterfly at my apartment, and it's like they can click a screen or a button or something, and I can let them in through my phone or whatever. But it's like I can see them on video. They can't see me, but they can hear me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Drinking eight beers as you were binge drinking, which I do that quite often, is hard to get yourself to stop, unfortunately. Yeah, six, seven, you've crossed the threshold. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
You play it safe. Just for... One, for legal reasons, because I don't think we're allowed to tell you to do that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Unless I'm lightweight, which I don't think is the case, .08 is drunk. We should order a breathalyzer and use it. .08 is drunk, for sure.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
All right. I'm out. I'm out. I like where your head is at. I like that you're at least being somewhat safe. Here's the main flaw with it. You would probably get home unscathed, and that would give a drunk person, like... Okay, I'm good. Like, I got licensed to drive. Yeah, like, if you did it in the app. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you would get... If you got home safe, even though... Yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
We're obviously not condoning drinking and driving, but, like... Don't drink and drive. Definitely don't drink and drive. Why are you saying we're obviously... It sounds like you're about to say... No, because I'm saying, like, we are obviously... That is a disclaimer. We are obviously not condoning drinking and driving. But, like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
More often than not, you would not get in trouble or, like, get in a serious accident.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
But it's, like, the... The odds are so much higher. Yeah. The 33... The third chance that you do, like, kill someone else or yourself or get a DUI or something, like, is still way more possible. Yeah, this sucks. And still... I'm not saying it sucks. I like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
and i had a ups guy he rang the thing and i was like one second it's loading and i guess it wasn't coming through to him it took me like a couple it took me max like 10 seconds to unlock the door and you can hear a noise when it unlocks it so it goes like and he just goes fucking idiot went in like i couldn't figure out how to do it That's awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
More drunk drivers will drive if this app exists.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
You would probably get home safe in the app and that would make you think you're good to go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Okay, that I'm down with. If it is like a... Okay, he should have led with that. That would be fun if it was like, this is just a game. This is to get all your drinking and driving out of your system. Because most people will never drink and drive. So you can try it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Maybe not in a bar. It's kind of like when you're at the fun parents' house and they're like, if they're going to drink, I'd rather them do it here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
but okay here's the thing if you try the simulator you have to give your keys to the bar it's like you can't yeah yeah when you give your when you get darts from the bar and you have to give them your id yeah like you have to give you up your like i am i promise i will not drive tonight but that sounds fun i want to do that patrick i'm sorry will and i have to distance ourselves from it for legal i not for legal reasons i think that idea is horrible and moral will kill moral reasons
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
It's a bad idea. The simulator is a good idea. It feels like you keep saying the right thing and then be like, what? Well, I don't want him to feel bad because he put himself out there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
He just packaged it wrong. It should have been. I'm out on it. Or what about this? It's a way to trick drunk drivers into not drinking home. Drinking home. It's a way to trick drunk people into not driving home. So to start the simulator, you have to put your keys in it, and then it sucks your keys into a vault, and you can't get them until tomorrow. All right, I'm down with that. All right, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
But you can still have all... They can still do the simulator. What about a guy who eats your keys?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Owned. You got owned. I didn't fucking go to Bates. I don't care.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
That's the most I've ever sat up. What, man? I'm trying it. I'm at a right angle right now. I'm acute.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
It's a great question. I'm currently re-watching Gossip Girl, so I can tell you what the best part is. You get to relive your glory days a little bit in a non-creepy way. So you're watching cool high schoolers, but it's not weird because you're not doing it publicly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
It's not me. It's not. Once an episode, something happens. And I'm just sick and tired of it. We've got to whip this place into fucking shape. I can't see. I also can't see Emily at all, which is kind of a nice setup. Nice. Okay, great. So Will's stomach isn't going to hurt this episode. Last time he got a little nauseous. Emily, say hi to the Playmates.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
What's the answer? I've never seen any of these shows.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yes. We were just watching the Thanksgiving episode of Gossip Girl, and it's fucking awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Well, I was like, because he came on and I didn't immediately couldn't tell his voice because it's kind of like static when it comes through. And he's just like, who are you here to see? And I was like, is this like connected to like the other company or like, is there like a maybe some sort of like security? He couldn't see you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
It's Gavin DeGraw. Yeah, no, I know. But isn't that Frey song in one of those shows? That is... Oh, baby.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
uh degrassi no uh what's the fucking show with the hospital gray's anatomy i don't know um also this person's from australia so oh my oh my buddy the pitch is a needle draw disrespectful oh i'm gonna give you an australian kiss later it's like a french kiss but down under i told you that yep it was this guy zach zach whipple or whittle or something
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
There's a guy named Zach something, and he told me that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
i like this i like it it would make movie time with the gang even more entertaining as you guess what the next song as you guess what song could come now oh it's on like shuffle so like you don't even sometimes they don't work like into the is it just playing alongside it or is it like it's like when they swap uh that's great they swap an existing song with like one of your random songs so like sometimes it would line up and you'd be like oh that's awesome but then sometimes it like wouldn't line up and that'd be the humor
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
You know that emotional scene at the end of the finale of The Office when Creed plays his song for everyone? What if it gets to that and everyone's getting emotional and he's like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Get away, you're moving. Got me in a trance. DJ, put out here. Come on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
My dad was listening to the Mary Shalaby episode. Yeah. And he called me. He was like, do you and Will have to sing everything? And I was like, all right, all right, no work. Call me later. And then he called me like two minutes later. He was like, this Mary lady is a riot. And I was like, yeah, I know. All right, I'm working.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
talk to you later my dad just texted me he's like can i call you like i'm with your mom and i was like why what's going on she's he's like we need to talk about this story you told on the hundredth episode about that guy like hitting on my mom at after the live show oh he's like he's like i gotta fucking we gotta break this down because my mom will she does not listen to any of the episodes but then my dad picks the highlights to share nice
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
he could the person could see me and i think it was edge fucking with me but the but he came over and just said like who are you here to see and i was like like is there like a third party that like vets like and i was like alex edge and he goes nope denied go and then i was like all right he's fucking me Wait, can I show you guys something real?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yeah, I don't want my mom listening. I think she would think less of me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Pull him up. Oh, yeah. Pacey Witter. I dress like him? I don't know. That top left one is something I would wear. That's cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
The top? Go back. That top left one. Oh, she had scrolled down a little bit. Wait, hit the X on that. The top left when you said that was a vest and blue face paint. Come on, man. I'm always wearing stuff like that. Oh, my God. Wait, listen to this. Listen to this, Willie. You know that fucking... Oh, God. All right, get rid of this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Guys, this episode is brought to you by our good friends over at Lightstrike. Lightstrike flips the script on what packaged alcohol is supposed to be, combining coconut water, sea salt, and 5% ABV for a shockingly smooth, fizz-free experience. Lightstrike is built for those who go hard but never die. Tap out. It's the only drink that makes refreshing actually mean something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
That's like a best possible use case for this because it's a long day. You're out in the sun. You know what I mean? Also, if a guy sees you stocking your bag full of light strikes. True. they're like, wow, that guy's going to be really hydrated. They're not thinking that's booze. That's true. That's true. Guys, Light Strike is the first hard beverage built for the long game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Light Strike, the first hard beverage built for the long game. Let's get back into the episode. So I've had this video that I did for a brand that was supposed to go up like two Sundays ago. It was two brands and one of them just like they haven't, the agency has like not been able to get them to watch it yet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
but herb are for the listeners at home herb our ads guy just text me he goes all right weird news and i'm like all right and then the first thing is the other brands i'm like okay they they rejected it it just goes they haven't approved it but they want to they want to do they want to sign on for a second one i'm like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Gives me a real riot. It gives me a real riot. It gives me a real hoot. Not like those fake ones. I was sent this from the people, the girls that live in my old college house.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yeah, that's bizarre. All right, weird news. They hate the first one. They're still going to pay you for it, but they want to pay you to do another one. Hey, that's good news. I don't think they actually hate the first one, but it's like... Weird news is good news.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Just get them to be like... It's probably like separate teams or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
all right what's the worst part what's the worst part about having a hat that's fits perfectly and it's your favorite hat it wears down over time it can't doesn't last forever can't wear it every day can't wear it every day because it's the same hat yeah but it's impossible to get one that fits just like it yeah like does it i'm introducing the slide hat okay It is your perfect hat. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And then you can slide a different logo onto it. Yeah. Like, do you remember those in your old Nike cleats? You used to be able to slide those cards in to make the swoosh, whatever color team you were playing on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
It's like that. So I could like pull like my, my play date hat is my favorite hat. Same. Because we, Willie and I got to pick the blank.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
We just made Emily... Oh, double announcement. Lauren is still in Spain. Binder's here in town.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
yep but i can't wear a hat with will and i's name on it every day because one mine's getting a little dirty but two it's like it doesn't go with every outfit sometimes i want to you know change it up you just pull it and there's like a million different shuffle logos under there i love that scott recently was like do you guys make any other hats with this blank i keep it's i'm wearing your name on my head every day yeah yeah what do you say emily um can you make the hat change colors
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
okay they try they tried in it i'm trouble because i'm i'm my original thought was like you can make whatever you want but it's like i want someone to actually be able to make this yeah you can make that for you can't like chameleon color the hat maybe like maybe you could like because ours is two-tone it's white on the top and maybe you could like pull this whatever in the brim changes color okay never mind it's just the logo it's just i like that a lot though and like if you're going to a big a sporting event for a team that
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
is losing you just pull it's the other team i was gonna say like a team you don't usually you see that guy whose hat he it's like made of robotics and it can either make an la like the dodgers logo or it'll make the yankees logo oh that's funny all right i got the uh self-adjusting lights you know how like your brightness adjusts based on like how dark it is around you
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Who evidently... are fans of my magnum opus and wait can i drop off too yes yeah i'm airdropping it to the podcast and so i was sent this by someone who like met them it is a shot for shot remake in the same now wait go to my or just search there's no way does that come up i i would be shocked if it didn't
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
It's like lights in your house that you don't ever have to touch. And it's just based on the time of the day. That's fantastic. It knows how dim to have that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
That's got to be perfect. I don't know. It sounds sick. You know how I called you out and I was like, Samsung already made that or whatever. I was technically right and you were technically right. The product doesn't exist. What I was thinking of is Samsung, which is kind of fucked up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Samsung filed a patent for the technology of if they're playing an ad and you look away, it'll pause until you look back, which is fucking dystopian. People also called us out. We had definitely done that one before. Oh. I had done it. Yeah, I was about to say, don't fucking... No, but they said I had done that, and then you had said Samsung, and then I said no way, and then we had Googled it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Do you guys do that often? Maybe not. Do what? Are you nervous? Am I nervous?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Am I scared right now? Am I nervous right now? Like, we constantly are being told that we've already told the story.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
But we're trying our best, right, Jack? It happens. Dude, we're trying our hardest. I'm sorry. By Jack, I mean Rusty.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
The year is 532 A.D. Chariot racing, all the rage. Everyone's doing it. Fucking all the rage. Yep. Everyone's obsessed with it. Did you ever hear about the time a chariot racing match almost led to the downfall of Constantinople? Mm-mm. Crazy story. So there were like two fan groups. Were you looking at what I was reading off of? It's just my notes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
No, it's my notes app. Oh, okay. I did have a little help from the G, from the G man, but...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Hit me. So there were two different fan groups. Think of it like you're at a Liverpool versus Man City game or whatever. They're like rabid fans, whatever. The Blues and the Greens. Okay. They hadn't totally figured out names yet. Yeah, whatever. Like the Bears or anything like that. uh, they start fighting. There's a small disagreement.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
It like escalates very quickly and it turns into like a full fledged riot throughout the city. The city is like fucking on fire. Half the city burned down. Um, and Justin Justinian, the emperor Justinian one, the emperor, uh, was about to flee the city, but his wife gave him this like You listening, Emily?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Giving this gave him this crazy speech about like how noble it would be for like royalty to die.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
But if he had fled, Constantinople would probably have, like – What about Istanbul? Well, I think that's – I think that that – I think Constantinople is, like, modern day. Yeah, I was joking. You know that song?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Istanbul, not Constantinople. Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople. No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
major throwback yeah what is that the young the giant no not what is that uh rich the kid it's rich the kid no it's like something the something giant the giant the people people the giant no the song oh they might be giants that's what it is the four lads oh maybe it was a cover All right, teach me something, Willie. James Michael Grimes. Have you heard of this guy? No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
James Michael Grimes was a guy. Okay, why did you Google it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
He was a guy on a cruise ship, and he ended up in the ocean for 18 hours treading water and was rescued. And when he was asked to recount the story, he said, I won an air guitar contest on the ship, went to use the bathroom, and don't remember anything else. And came to in the middle of the ocean with the cruise ship not in sight. Treaded water for 18 hours and was rescued. Holy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
They think he fell somehow off the side. Was he hammered? I mean, that's what I couldn't tell. He would have died if he was hammered. There's no way he would have come to in the ocean and treaded water. Can I give you a theory? I think when he fell somehow, hit his head, went unconscious. Someone threw him overboard?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
He did. Go to an article. Oh, he'd had drinks but wasn't intoxicated. Interesting. All he could see was a fin? Ugh. That's crazy. He won the air guitar contest, though. I mean, dude, obviously we're glad he survived, but, like, God forbid if he died. What a cool way to go out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
probably similar to that yeah he goes to the bathroom his competitor fucking hits him with some like roofie right overboard it was like can't win maybe it was like a band dispute between the air bassist and the air drummer right right
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
How fun is that? Did they have rice pilaf? They made a rice pilaf too?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
That's awesome. I feel him, though. I feel him. Sometimes it's just like,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
it's a good song and it's like it's it is it you can't rap along because it's it's that word is said so many times and i'm just like they should come out you know there's like a clean version they should come out with like a white boy version yeah i can rap along to i like i like that idea because it's like it's gonna mess up the flow yeah obviously can't say it so yeah yeah maybe like a white white boy version white boy version yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Isn't that awesome? Wait, how'd they get your number? They didn't. A guy that I know that's still at BC was at that apartment, and they were like, oh, do you know this guy? I don't know how it came up, but he just sent me. He was like, you still have buddies at BC? Yeah, because of my comedy group. True. This kid was a freshman when I was a senior.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Alright, just play it. How you feeling, Jeff? Oh, yeah. Groovy. You feeling good? Oh, yeah. You drunk?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
i don't know who this guy is i'm gonna go out on a limb i think he's drunk i'm gonna say he's a little drunk that is that is like when you are a freshman in high school and the older kids are like driving you home yeah and they're like you're like trying to trying to fit in they're like you feeling it you're like nah a little bit maybe a little bit not really
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
he's in another fucking universe i remember in high school one time getting somebody to take me to buy a vape and i bought it and i hit it and i just immediately threw up everywhere like outside the gas station he's like will's the coolest yeah um that's really funny all right all right should we do lana del rey songs or ways to say you're spoken for lana del rey or no ways to say you're spoken for all right
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
These are ways to say you're spoken for. My sword already has its sheath. That's kind of gross. I didn't mean it that way, but it does sound that way. I'm sorry. This car has been driven off the lot. I like that a lot. This farmer only milks one cow. I'm under contract. My band's full, bitch. I'm playing doubles these days. Nice. Yours are better than mine. I don't think so.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Take one step closer and I'll kill us both. There's no room at the end. Ooh, little Bible reference. Emily, it's kind of like... It's New Testament, so I don't want to freak you out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
That's why Mary had to have Jesus in a stable, allegedly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yes, yes. All right. I already have a co-pilot. I'm being watched. These are Lana Del Rey songs that don't exist. I don't really listen to Lana Del Rey. I did see her last weekend. She's great. I only know video games for context. Okay. You're like, I don't know, Kung Fu Fighter 4. Trailing the Darkness. It's about the light that comes trailing the darkness. I don't know. What are yours?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I call him father and so do you. It's about dating the local priest. Okay. Blue or water?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Talking Faster Than His Car. It's about a guy who has a very fast car but also is into cocaine. I like that. Waiting for Matthew. Can't Smell My Perfume. It's about getting ready after a big night out doing cocaine again and how she can't smell if she's put on enough perfume or not. Does she do a lot of cocaine? The guys she sings about.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
The kids that are, I think I'm on my last year of kids that I was friends with at school. So you do too then. But you're a year older than me. True, true, true. You facts, you facts. All right, take this shit off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
December in the city. Okay. What was that? Hello? Hello? I think that was Mike Hot Dog. All right, I got Motel Rich. Oh, yes. It's about how even though she's making a lot of money, she still likes to spend time at local motels. That's fun. Yeah. I'm sorry that I suck. No, I kind of think that'll actually clip funny. It's like one guy just like, I don't know, man.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I feel like we flew through the segments today. We did fly through the segments.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
You kind of nailed that one in, Emily. No, I didn't. All right. We're going to finish with Rusty's song of the day. Go follow it on Spotify. I think a couple of playmates have made their own on Apple Music that you can go follow. I think we're at 3,000 listens now. 3,000 saves. Today's song is Menthol by Gene Dawson. Oh, yeah. I like it a lot. It's...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
it sounds the first time you listen it sounds very one way but it's actually another way and i think you're gonna love it everyone i've showed it to loves it i love that song yeah you showed it to me it's fantastic um i'm trying to i'm trying to mix up the vibes because it is completely dependent on my mood yeah which song i add and if i added the one i wanted to today it would have been the
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
it would have been going way too down. And so I'm trying to like keep people on their toes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yeah, there's like a hundred versions. Do you think in like 20 years there will be like a plaque on the cabinets? We were laughing about it. I was showing it to Falbo, and he was like, it's like the bench from Forrest Gump in Savannah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I don't know. My dad used to always say that. My dad loves that movie, and I should have watched it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
But they framed the hole that he hit in the wall, and it says whatever. Frame this hole, am I right? Come on. Come on. Emily, tell us what's fucking new with you, brother. Yeah, what type of shit are you on, girl?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Playdate. Playdate episode 104. Number four is Isaiah Thomas. Is he? No, he was 11.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I think that's probably right. Wait, how mad were people that like this was like a big deal?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
classic binder like telling a story oh that's oh that now that is too far imagine being the guy you can say you can say binder but that you saying classic binder classic makes it worse you can go look for yourself i don't i don't really want to look because right hey imagine being the guy who wrote the how to's yeah what was uh what was that experience like i got i feel like i got set up for failure you wrote those yeah i didn't know that
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
The AFTV has been in these huge fights and everything, and they're like, our channel's ruined forever, and it's all over the shit. But in my defense, I was given. We were told to make a how-to series. Yes. It was me and Chester. Wait, why do they think it's ruined forever?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Yeah, people are not happy about it. Oh, I didn't know the extent of it. I just saw like a couple – because I don't read that deep. I know. I saw a couple that were just like, okay. Which is totally fine. And I feel like A, we got set up where it was like –
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
they they they were like all right we're gonna do these like little series in between the seasons right and it's like a company it's like a mandate from the bosses so that there's something still coming out every single week and we were told to do the how-to idea which has come up you know someone else came up with that idea uh and then they're like and it's gonna be the first one that comes out and then they didn't my frustration is like they didn't communicate to the audience at all like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
We're going to be doing these series in between the main seasons. And like the whole idea of these is that they're lower kind of budget, easier lift. And, you know, like just something to kind of it's like bonus content in between the seasons. And they didn't really communicate that at all. And then just put out what felt like four of the same kind of sketch in a row.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
The Celtics Isaiah Thomas. Who Isaiah Thomas? No, no, no, no, no. Oh my God.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And everyone's just like, what the hell is going on? And like some of them were funny. And I also don't think I don't think they were like I think they could have been better, too. So that's like definitely I take ownership there. But I also felt like it was just like sending me to slaughter for my first time getting to write TV stuff.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
That's just not a sustainable model. 52 sketches in a year those sketches are like mini like movie productions yes it's not a week turnaround and these were like dude like one of them I wrote this I think I've said this to you but like We were in Disney World. There was also no bad communication. I'm not in all the AFTV meetings, so I'm not always aware of the timeline of things.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Lauren, I'm glad Lauren told Emily to still suck it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I got told while we were in Disney World the day before... Or I was in the Atlanta airport or some shit going to Disney World. I forget what we were doing. But they were like, we need a script tomorrow. We need the first draft. And we didn't even have an idea for that how-to. And so I came up with the idea in the Atlanta airport, wrote a draft of a script, sent it off,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Isaiah Thomas. See results about that right there. God damn. God damn. Yeah. Number four. Wow. What a poll. Well, it was on accident. I was picturing the Pistons one and I was like, oh, that actually worked out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Then was in Disney World doing all the shit for Unscripted. Never saw... Assumed that there would be a process of punching up the script and working on it. I got back a week later and I was like, hey, how's that script going? They're like, oh yeah, we shot it. It got shot. By the time I was back, from the one draft I sent, no edits on it. They just made it. So then it's like, oh, great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
The How to Fix a Leak. The one with Crawford. Yeah. Which he actually cracked me up in. I stand by it. It made me laugh, but... It was just like, oh, man. I don't know. All the comments were like, what the fuck is this? That last video was like the worst video that ever had on the channel. How many views did it get? Like 150,000. Yeah. They like had to call like in a meeting like Tyler.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Like I could hear Tyler like screaming at Edge like, these videos are fucking ruining our channel. And I'm like in the other room like, oh, my God.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
whatever man i i fucking morons taking us down like to to everyone's credit like everyone has been like like they they're not like no one's blaming me at all everyone's like this was a nightmare spot to be put in like like you have to write forward things about this yeah i don't know well i think it honestly helps the case of like that there should not be one every single week of the year yes well it just it just like here's an example of why and there you go and like just helps the case
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
And the whole reason was that they could, like, make more money probably. And it's like there weren't even post-roll ads on those videos. So it was like literally – I don't know. Everyone's freaking out. They're worried that when the new season starts, like, the videos will be lower. And if that is the case, everyone's going to be really mad.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
But it's just funny that the source of all this drama is what I – when I was first asked to do it, I was like, wow, this is a huge opportunity. I'm going to get four sketches on AFTV that I'm writing. Like –
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
but not ever man that's college you had like a big willie i think it was the same week walked past another meeting of we already said the name but someone just being like calling us me and willie like babies and gonads or something yeah he's like these fucking babies idiots keep going over on their podcast and feeding into our studio time and i was like the fuck i was walking in here and another one of the guys from the sports annex was like are you guys just starting to record now and i was like yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
Um, Emily, you know, the playmates love you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
they're like oh damn it i was like why they were like we got told to stop playing basketball like five minutes ago all right that's fine you're fine i also even said you don't have to stop right now i said you have three minutes to stop because i assume you guys are gonna come in three minutes you ended up coming in five like come on You got any big weekend plans?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
sneaking my uncle into stagecoach
I've realized in the comments of the how-tos, people were like, what the fuck's going on? And the only context they had was a conversation we had on this about it. What did we say? I think I just mentioned it's a four-part series. So I feel like this is the only way people are hearing the best. I don't even know if I'm supposed to be saying all this, but I don't really give a shit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how we became the bad boys of podcasting
Nicht so nah. Du hast nur 70 Punkte verloren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I'm off that Libby Dunn lately, and this stuff is banging. She got this recipe right. I was never even a cotton candy guy growing up. Yeah. I didn't like the way it felt in my mouth. It was never a flavor thing. This drink, unbelievable.
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I have said it on our podcast. I said it on another podcast the other day. It is my favorite flavor now. I drink them at morning.
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I drink in my morning, and I've already had one and a half today, and I feel like a million freaking bucks.
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um lauren if there were what is is if there's one memory from the hundred episodes of this podcast that we've had together that say that to you i talked about the one where i got my fingers stuck together you haven't talked about one yet but i have to think lauren it's all a blur it could be the fingers one too that was that was a good one um i don't know it's honestly just weird to think back to when we were in the old studio
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B-E-S-M-R. What are some of our favorite memories from this time? Favorite memories from the pod? Oh, my God. Do you remember the episode where these two fingers were completely stuck together? Oh, yeah.
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Yes. 95% of podcasts are canceled after the 99th episode.
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Yes, yes. Oh, my God. That was crazy. I was just thinking about that. You were in a permanent rock on. Yeah. No, it was like the opposite. It was like a... No, I guess the opposite of Spock.
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Yeah, it was like we were hanging out, and then we put on Euphoria.
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It was like senior year of high school or something? Shout out Reed Carmel. I was a late bloomer, you know, in a lot of... I remember I was so mortified I didn't have armpit hair. Like freshman year of high school, I had no hair on my armpits. And I was on a basketball team and I would just always have to wear a shirt.
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And that might be the title of one of my drafts today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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The Grass Is Always Greener is a rom-com about two farmers, the Wimbledon...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Wait, I'll just come over there. Come on over, Lauren. Come on in. The water's fine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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We played tennis and she beat me. We were like, let's play a set. And I thought it would be like fun because I thought it was like decent at tennis. I didn't know like she was really good at tennis. She picked me up from my house. I didn't have my license. Even though it was like senior year. I didn't get my license until really late too.
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And she picked me up and we went to the tennis courts and she beat me 6-0.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I don't think you say love in, like, a set context, do you?
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In this romantic story. Oh, yeah, you're right, you're right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Anyway, I lost 6-0, and then we went to a park, and we kissed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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This is so much better. Are you kidding me? Do these phones and tech? It's like frying our brains. How much TikTok do you watch last night? No, I, you know what I started doing is I brick, when I go into my room to go to bed, I brick my phone. So it blocks all my social media apps. And so then I can't, if I want to scroll before bed or when I wake up, I have to like read the news.
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It's better than mine. I have a fucking rooster and I can never find him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, you leave it in the bathroom? Yeah, I've only done this like two nights in a row, actually. But it's been good because the amount of time I waste. The amount of times I open with the brick thing, like the amount of times I open Instagram and then it says like, you're bricked.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I remembered what I was reading with the article I read last night. It was about meth.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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It was about Portland, Maine, actually. It was a New York Times article, but it was about Portland.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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No, predominant like drug, like people who were – I guess they're seeing a rise in meth as opposed to fentanyl. I don't know, I guess, which one is more. But whereas fentanyl was like – would make people very obviously like docile.
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Like meth is the opposite kind of. And so it's like a lot of these social workers and stuff that were dealing with people on fentanyl. It's like a whole – it's like way – It's a new –
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It's way harder to deal with on the like helping side with meth because these people are like freaking out as opposed to just being like... It'd be like if a veterinarian was used to like dogs eating weed brownies and they know how to treat that.
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And it's, like, the hospitals and stuff can't take them in when they're having, like, crazy freakouts like that because there's, like, literally nothing they can do to, like, contain them. And there's no, like, Narcan like there is for a overdose. There's no cure for a meth overdose. You gotta, like, wait it out. Yeah. Cure is funny. Or, like, yeah. The antidote. Antidote, I guess.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I'm shaking. Come on, I'm shaking. I haven't drank in a couple hours.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I don't know how to do. It's so sad. I'm trying to become better about doing adult things.
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I feel like I try to like as much as I can. I'm like, I want to get away from them. Yeah.
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Oh, God, Lauren's spilling it. Lauren is spilling the champagne all over her dress. Wait, no one else said a memory. You were like, you want to recap our best moments? Then I did one.
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You would have to catch these hands. Oh, wait. A guy at the live show in Boston after came up to me. He was like, yo, great show. Is that your mom, by the way? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, listen, I'm so sorry. I was with my buddies and saying, oh, there's no single girls here. And one of them was like, what about her? And so I went up and tried to hit on her.
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oh and like we were kind of just joking around like i didn't realize and like i bet she was flattered yeah i know i was like that's actually she probably i actually forgot to bring it up to her she would have found that hysterical oh she didn't know i don't know if i know i think she yeah i'm sure she loved that yeah she was probably like i know i'm with him yeah my dad was also there yeah i he was and my dad was ready to kill this fucker
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Soundbite. There's a soundbite and a half. I'm keeping that. What's the best thing that's ever happened 100 times? Well, you know.
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howdy y'all howdy come on cowboys of twisted teak come on we i don't know why that's the thing we're doing but twisted tea is delicious uh i've got myself a little half and half right now yeah let me tell you this time of year oh my god absolutely perfect for it uh i was in south carolina sipping on some of these out on the water that's how it's meant to be that is how it is meant to be what's your favorite twisty flavor
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I've got four different kinds of things. I have two shaved butters, one post-shave dew, and one of the deodorant. Nice. So I think I'm winning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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This waterproof trimmer is made to divide and conquer, so you can trim both upstairs and the basement. If you know what I'm talking about, Gooch, man, I'm talking G, I'm talking B, I'm talking BH, I'm talking...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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This thing keeps breaking. Do you want a good one? No. It's unique. I love it for what it is.
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I'm trying to figure out what year it's going to be.
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I actually... The more I live here, the more I'm like, I don't know why I would ever leave here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Yeah, I'm foregoing the I am Groot champagne, and I'm going to... Cheers, Lord. ...triple it up. Cheers. Oh, I don't get to do the cheers? No, we can all cheers. Can I get my glasses?
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I feel like there are, I mean, I'm sure there are high schools where that's the case, but I think that's probably anywhere. And also, I think there's probably parts of LA that aren't like that.
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Look what I brought. Wait, that's... Oh, fuck. I'm sorry. I didn't know what you were going to say.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Oh, it is a different color. It didn't panic at all. All over my crotch. Yeah, I would love one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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We're talking about first kisses, and that made me think of going to dances. I remember one time I was wearing gym shorts at a dance.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Okay. That was like the only white stuff we had. And I was dancing with this girl named Julia. Slow dance. There was no grinding at the school lab. Not that I would have had the balls to. No pun intended. But we were slow dancing and I got a little excited.
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And I remember looking over and one of my teachers was chuckling. He definitely knew what was going on.
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I feel like I never had like one of those classic like got a boner and got called on in class or anything like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I had some consistent growth in that meeting, I'll tell you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I had a... Remember, did I tell you I went to get my suits for the live tour and they were just so moldy?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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They were hanging in my closet and my suit jackets were both just covered in mold.
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And we live in a pretty dry climate, so it shouldn't happen. Anyway, moral of the story is today, when we were wearing suits, I was like, oh, fuck. I don't have my jacket. So this is from the office. It matches. And it matches my pants pretty well, right? Yeah. Also, my pants also in the closet for the exact same amount of time. No mold.
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I got these for when I worked in the Capitol. That's what I mean.
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That's like, oh, would you move? So I feel like I don't mind that. Like I offered that up on my recent.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Time out, time out, time out. Willie. I love me a good bit of Mandingo fighting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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We've got to FaceTime my buddy. He sounds just like Cameron from Ferris Bueller. Dude, you're going to love my buddy.
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Oh, I was kind of joking, but I do kind of have to pee. Last Call is an after-alcohol product that actually works. It's inspired by hangover remedies that they use in Korea. They're super popular there. Everybody takes them after a night out drinking, and we are trying to get that to catch on here, and we are lucky to have Last Call here to be on the journey.
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It's better than alternatives like electrolytes because it contains DHM, which helps your body break down alcohol even faster, and it's a time-tested ingredient that has been used in East Asia for centuries. This, I can now swear on it from experience.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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I did a little R&D. Me and my friend Scott took some after our big night. We were drinking all day and went out that night and we got home and we took these. And we both, I swear, Scott said it before I did the next day. He said, I think that shit actually worked. I feel a lot better. And I said, me too.
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We were talking BJs, and all I'm saying is if I was playing offense, I think I could do a bang-up job.
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If I was getting world-altering, mind-altering dome from you, yes, I would want her to tell everyone. No, I want nobody to know that Rusty Featherstone gave me mind-numbing sloppy.
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It's like the logline of a movie I wouldn't watch. Which is just a movie.
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No, I love the genuine eagerness and curiosity with which I think you approach pretty much everything in life. Thank you. Where you're down for whatever and always just want to understand things. And I think that leads to some really fun conversations and...
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Yeah. Uh, thank you, Lauren. Oh man. Where do I even start? I'm hammered. I think that... Come on. Well, it's just there's so many to choose from.
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No, I know. I think that I like that you're someone who likes to have fun. And I think you seek that out. And I feel like we...
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we just like it's just a lot of laughs and a lot of fun and like we do and it's fun that we get to hang out outside of work sometimes and like you're always down for our really stupid ideas sometimes and help facilitate them thanks and uh yeah i think just having that approach of like i just want to have fun in this life is a good thing to have thank you lauren jack lauren do jack okay um
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Well, if it's something you've been thinking about, then it's working. Thanks. It's showing the efforts.
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I was feeling myself. You were serving C, man. You were serving C. I was.
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It's going to be a lot of fun. Oh my god, holy fuck. You didn't do any of the drafts.
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First. House for dog. House for bird. House for boat. House for a boat. Horse for a boat.
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Sometimes when I'm at the airport, I will go sit at a more fun destination than where I'm going. One flight was going to Key West a couple months ago. I sat down with the Key West people for a little bit and then I had to go to...
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chicago or wherever we're going oh that's cool gross uh chicago so gross i love chicago you see the bowl of chicago no big fat l they're out of the playoffs i don't watch sports but that sucks yeah uh i love chicago i went there once uh
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We were, I had a, when we were in the Detroit airport a few months ago or like a month ago, it was stuck with a long layover. And I was saying to William Angus, I was like, they should have a big, just a big field where we could go like kick around a ball or something. Like, you know what I mean? Cause that's, you're so like contained too.
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Sometimes I get like claustrophobic when I'm in an airport that long.
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There are some airports where you can be outside, and that always felt illegal to me.
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Yeah, sometimes I'll get the ones where you have to walk down on the tarmac to board it. It always feels like, what if I took a sharp left right now?
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Depends on the airport. In LAX, it goes underground.
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You're going to crowdsource a masseuse? Any playmates want to give you a massage?
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I didn't mean like big. No, I've been so conscious about my arm. You were like, oh, my back. But you were like showing us your tricep on purpose. You were like, oh, my back hurts.
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I thought that you didn't like me saying that, and then I was like, I wouldn't like someone to point at something about my body that I didn't like, but I was trying to make it as a compliment.
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I don't have good arms. Okay, fine. All right, fine. This is the podcast where I say my arms are shit.
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They're tiny and they have no... I think you have beautiful arms.
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Yeah, I'm averaging four days a week for the year. I've run almost 200 miles this year so far.
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My baseline is like a 5K, but on Wednesdays I do like six because I do the wrong club. So I did that last night.
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I think... Well, this is also a new thing that I'm joining. So it's like... Obviously, I'm sure some people there are new too. But it's kind of like maybe we get our sea legs. Yeah. So I feel like I'm a little more hesitant. And then it's like once you've seen someone a few times, you could like...
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It's also an overwhelming amount of people. I think that's also... It's not even a crew. It's like a thousand people.
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uh it's kind of behind our old office it's like in one of those parking lots like where the kind of like where i think it's where they do like the flea market or not the not the flea market but the i know you're talking about the end of abakini
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No, it's funny, like, well, you know, like, the whole thing about, like, when you're, like, in an airport and you, like, see someone your age, like, they're instantly hotter.
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Oh, that went in the bag. There's no camera on it, but that was a cool way that rubber duck landed.
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All right. You want to hear my pitch? Please. Can I pull it up? Please. I can't remember what it was. I remember it was good, though. It's called Breakfast in Bed.
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All right. Sold. So, obviously, there's been a lot of, I think, you know, speculation. It's like, how do we make it? Like, I think in the office, Michael used to wake up, turn on the George Foreman grill, and then go back to bed for a little to have the bacon fresh. This is a little oven compartment that's built into your mattress.
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uh you i see it i see it get the breakfast ready it's not a full oven it's just like a warmer keeps it warm you slide it in there when you go to bed you're baking an eggs or whatever it stays in there and it stays warm also keeps your mattress warm i guess it's probably in the bed bed not the it's like in the frame probably under the mattress because you don't want it to be hard right and uh i'm losing him
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Keeps the mattress warm. Keeps your bacon and eggs warm. You wake up. You roll over.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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That was bad. Buntin'. Yes. Yes, man. I was telling a triple story before we started. Oh, also, another sponsor.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Like they had to like get the coals hot, put it in there, like heat up the bed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
I have Easter brunch and I'm terrified about not being able to get it to sit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Both of you. Wow. Let's fucking go. That could have gone bad. Working on a weekend like usual. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Oh, yeah. This is the permitting of the division of the building department. My father, Steve, has got some Texas longhorn cattle. He's had them for over a year now. They all have really long horns, some pushing seven feet. I'm assuming that's both of them combined.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
I think it'd be really funny to say that the Cleveland County Division of Wildlife says cow's horns must not exceed 48 inches in length.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
What? He has to answer. I'm thinking Will or Rusty could say we could take a sander or angle grinder and shave a few inches off the sides.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
No, I don't think. Well, because you said something about Charleston in there, too. I think there's a Cleveland County in South Carolina, I think. Or North Carolina. Oh. Hi, this is Michael from the Cleveland County Division of Wildlife. Do you own a few longhorn cattle? Here we go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Isn't that crazy when you're a little bit drunk and you just say whatever and everyone's... That sentence didn't make any sense. Should I try it again? Yeah. I'll try it again.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
yeah that's that was musco from musco's moment on my animal planet yeah on animal planet yeah the viral and and and that we've been following him for years yeah there's a documentary listen ma'am i'm just the messenger here there's a documentary crew that's been following that squirrel for years yeah willie the documentary crew had the squirrel tagged yeah and that's how we know she's the one that shot it is that it it well they were filming it
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Hi, this is Mark from the wildlife department in Salt Lake County. Is this a good moment to talk? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
I thought you said you did order Postmates last night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Yeah, if anyone calls, like, have you been feeding the homeless? No. All right, that was lovely. That was great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
I'm panicking. That must be so stressful. No, I'm like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Let's just see. Honestly, I don't even have a tee up for this one. Let's just see what happens. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
I was having a nice little steam, jamming out to the music. And then I was like, you know what would go good with this is some chicken skewers. Anyone who knows me knows I'm getting very into skewers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Even LePage? Even LePage. I'm starting to not like this Bobby character.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
I forget what I sent you. Oh God. Yeah. Just zoom. Yeah. This is a, like a woman posted her son's invention.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
All right. So this, he's creating an invention that makes your pants tighter and gives you gold for the rest of your life.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
so pause it for a second this all right but then look scroll down the reason i thought this is so funny keep scrolling down a little more that's the bottom what Oh, maybe they're deleting comments. It was like, the top comment was like, bro invented the gooch machine and had to come up with an excuse real quick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Yeah, he said, yes. I was like, what are you having for dinner? He's like, probably skewers. I'm really into skewers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Yeah, that's like a dish. I don't know. Probably just like skewers. Yeah, I don't care what's on it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
I saw someone comment that they want a compilation of all of the times we do that. Do what? That's their favorite bit. I love when you guys do that. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Or a puke take. No, anyway, there used to be lions in Europe and Asia. And, like, I was reading about ancient Greece, and it talked about there being lions. There were lions, like, in, like, at the height of, like, the Roman Empire, there were, like, lions in Greece. Just Roman?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
No, no, they were, like, indigenous. The last, like, native lion left in, like, the year, like, 100. Oh, that's bizarre.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
No, the top left. Yeah. Oh, I got it right? Go to the Wikipedia page.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
It feels like every time I try to tell you something, you talk about the Barbary lion.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
And then by the time I was hungry, it was too late to fire up the skewer station. So I ordered hibachi poppy and I got a scallops bowl, which was...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
You can only save your lunch for so long. It will go bad eventually, so don't be too cautious to where you miss the window to get something done.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Asking a snowman what to do this summer. Yeah, just you're talking to the wrong guy. You're looking in the wrong place for what you want to get.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
You got to know where you are. You got me at the end. Yeah, I like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Don't treat your first serve like it's your second. That's a tennis reference for all my tennis heads out there. There's billions of them. If you have the opportunity to make a mistake, don't be afraid to go for it and risk making that mistake. You know what I mean? If you're going to be able to get a second chance.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
I've got a little bonus one. Do you want to do our bonuses?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
There's always more mustard when you shake the bottle. All right? That's fantastic. You can always get a little bit more out of it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
You ever been? Hibachi? Yeah. Is that where they like do it on the thing in front of you? Yeah. I love that shit. In college one time during the coronavirus pandemic, I joined this... It was my first comedy group I joined. It's the New England Classic. And I had gotten accepted and they're like, hey, we're having this like dinner at this hibachi place if you want to come and like meet everyone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
He fucks Ted? Also, why are we all nervous around each other right now?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
That's awesome. That's great. I love it. Pure coincidence. A man and a woman that are fishing on the same pier, they hook the same fish. And they reel it in together. And that is crazy. And then they figure it out and they go back. And guess what? They do it again. By two-tier coincidence. Two fish. They both catch it. And that's when they fall in love.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
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Well done. I've got washed up a window washer in New York City is washing the window of an office building and it's love at first sight with a girl on the other side of the glass.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
And then every day going back, I'm like finding her again and be like, all right, I swear it was this floor. And then he has to go. And then eventually they fall in love.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Peeping Tom, finding love. Okay. What I was saying also, she, she's a washed up athlete and then he's a window washer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Yeah. And he doesn't listen. It was funny cause he was in the zoom in the meeting. So then I said it later and like everyone kind of chuckled, but like he can't pick up on like the cues.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
All right. I got to fake it till you make it or Sarah. I'll say that again. Hmm.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
And it was during the coronavirus pandemic, as I mentioned. And do you remember the era where like you could not get an Uber?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Coming back, my mom had a little fridge in the house, and it was filled with Propels, and I'd go in there and drink them at night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
So in Boston, I mean, Lauren, did you experience this?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Oh, you're right. Romantartic. They fall in love in Antarctica. I just thought the play on those words.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
We had come back. It would have been the spring of 2021. So it was like almost a year after the pandemic.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
95% of podcasts get canceled after the 99th episode. This is a real statistic. Say it again. 95% of podcasts get canceled after the 99th episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
true story syndication also this didn't you guys do this too and have champagne and people from the office we had all sorts of drinks oh okay but yeah it's like i mean you guys it was a long it feels like it feels like it's like a lumen thing that they like roll out like you have done 100 episodes you get the devil devil Emily put in more work Emily was a bartender i can't i can't do all that all right way too fucked up on that episode did you really there's a long one yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Well, you guys get out because we have four minutes until we lose the studio.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
So it was like, you know, we were back open. You could go to restaurants, but like you couldn't move around tables or whatever. It was like kind of that era. But you could not get an Uber. And I just kind of had not realized that, I guess. And so... Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Thank you, guys. Yeah, thank you. I inhaled through this thing, and it actually made my head hurt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
It's like. I was ready to change my life, but you just kept me down. But I reckon I'll start if you're wrecking my heart.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
It's about a country singer. He goes to the bar, he gets hammered, and he has his nine-year-old son drive him home every night, and he's like, officer, it's not a DUI if the kid's driving.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
This is a guy who got dumped, and he hates his ex, and he's telling her that she sucks worse than a skeeter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
No, she never gave him teethy head. She was a loving, loving woman, and she cared about him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
This is just a way to say complaining. It's like, dude, quit honking.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Index. Like, this is to describe a guy. You say, like, dude, he's an index. It's like a guy who knows everything. He's always got the answer. He knows where to go. He knows what to do. He knows everyone in this town. Like, dude, that guy's an index.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
And if I could echo what you were saying, we love you so much. Seriously, thank you. And you know whose personality we're all stealing this weekend? The Playmates. Yours. You listening, wherever you are right now, we're stealing your personality.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Guys, you knew it was coming sooner or later. It's my favorite song. Will told me whenever he hears this song, he thinks of me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
And so I ended up being in this club for years and making a lot of really good friends, but they all would be like, we all remember the first time we met you, you were somehow completely out of breath, sweating, and drunk. This guy rules. Did this guy just get drunk and work out? It was true. I had, yeah. It was a memory that will last a lifetime. It was hibachi. That's beautiful.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
They're playing basketball in our studio. Dude, fucking yesterday, Dan Powers was like going off in the other room about like, I guess, did we fuck up their recording or something?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Oh, well, he was yelling horrible things about us, and I overheard it. I mean, it sounded like he called us, like, babies and douchebags.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Yeah, and I was standing, like, I was walking by the room, and I heard it, so I just stopped, and I was just standing outside, or sitting outside the doorway. I was, like, just watching, and then Edge was like, stop, don't, this is not your conversation. I was like, if he's screaming so loud that I can hear this from the other room, I have every right, what are you doing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
It doesn't matter. Um, cause it'll, it'll drive the whole episode wrong. Also, did you just try twisting the numbers and not the things on the bottom?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
100th episode goes NUTS
Yeah. It was bullshit, dude. I was getting... My name was getting dragged.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to free a house elf
As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining the party landscape.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Willie, let the people know why you love Accelerator so much.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Carolina was, like, texting me, like, I need, you know, marathon sign ideas. And I, like, spent some time on it. And then she was, like, reminding me, like, I need more, whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I would be worried to take something from someone who doesn't work for the... Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Guys, Father's Day is right around the corner and it's not just about socks. It's not about ties. It's about power moves. It's about you and your mini walking into summer in perfectly matching outfits that says, yes, we're related.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Speaking of being worried about taking drinks from someone last night, I was in my Uber. Sometimes they'll hand you a water or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
But she should have just gotten out. And so I was, like, kind of, like, tipped on by her, and my stomach wasn't feeling great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
My mom applied to get this dog named Margo, and she hasn't heard back. But I wanted her. That'd be fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I don't think she knew it. And then I went to sit up like this, like 30 minutes into the flight. And the second I put my...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Dude, I want you to hear. This is an awesome story. I am.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Everyone thinks Will's this blue-collar man's man. Will's up there in the front eating caviar off of... Lauren, help me out here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Lauren, we're telling you about an epic baseball game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
He, I think, had the most free throw attempts in a conference final game. MVP? Lauren, so sorry. Sorry, that was probably confusing for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And then this is so small that I can slip it right next to my phone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
and don't let the slim profile fool you. This thing is tough. That's what I say about me. Do not let Will's slim profile fool you. Guys, crafted from premium materials like titanium and carbon fiber, it's built to handle whatever life throws at it. Plus, it comes with a built-in RFID blocking tech to keep your cards safe from digital pickpockets.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
We're going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches. Then we're going to do everyone's favorite segment. Teach me something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Hey, hey. Instead of this guy rocks and he rocks so hard. He rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Thank you, Lauren. And then Will and I are going to tell you ways to slide into people's DMs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Would you rather have him keep it in and have his tummy get upset? Do you remember what happened last time his tummy got upset?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And then we're going to do beach games that don't exist, and then we'll finish with Rusty's song of the day. We got, I think, 2,500 of you bad boys out there now. Dude.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
You know, they used to think you couldn't kiss someone if you were celiac and they just had gluten, but science just discovered that you can't. Big news for celiac people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Why are you eating chocolate at 10 in the morning?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Lauren, do you know how much fucking money we make? Will and I are rolling in it. I could buy like a dozen hot dogs if I wanted.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I haven't paid my rent this month. I own that. I own that shit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I love that. That would be fun to bring him a bunch of ingredients and be like, just do your worst. Whatever you think we can do out of it. It's like that dad on TikTok that makes fast food stuff gourmet. So they'll order something from Taco Bell and then he'll deconstruct it and make it gourmet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
What is the worst? What's the worst part about getting to your ball when you're golfing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Lauren, how would you... All right. Let's do a little cosplay. Lauren, I'm going to call you and you're going to pick up. Bring, bring, bring, bring. Hello? Hello. Exactly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
There wasn't, like, a uniform one, and he was picturing that it should have been ahoy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
um wait let me one second eurasian eurasian swift uh eras tour in moscow no no no no no no no no no one second one second one second one second one second the eurasians eurasian swift um what's it give me a song give me a song give me a song fearless
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Yeah, that's fucking bizarre. I don't like that. Why wouldn't they just go in a tree or something?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Okay. uh this is a guy named what's his name hookup hero yes the hookup hero uh and he's telling you that you shouldn't fear wild parties never fear wild parties orgies swingers
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I saw a guy the other day get a haircut, and the woman spun him around, and he was like, fuck, no, no. Where? It was just on TikTok.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
Yeah, that was good. Comment a new segment idea, and we'll pick one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
I think the only travel we have, you and I are going to the Bahamas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And then we are going to... It's just you guys and Lucas? Willie and I are going to New York in June, and then I think that's it. I have an August trip to Maine and Minnesota.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
So $100,000 a day is $36 million a year? $36 and a half or $360 million? You'd make a million dollars every 10 days.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty crop-dusted an innocent man
And so I already feel like that's happening. So yeah, to answer your question, Lauren, I would do it for a lot less than $100,000 a day. I mean, is he a threat? Is he going to act on it at all, or is he just filming?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
that's what i i think he did he it's so the text exchange between lauren and ryan after that is truly one of the funniest things i've ever read because she lauren texted me it was like get ryan's address but don't but don't tell him that it's me asking and i was like i can't text him he's gonna think i'm like drone striking him like if i'm like probably probably would go to drones what are your coordinates and he so what did you text him one
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
But I lost it. What are those bikes called? Tandem. I did a tandem bike over the Golden Gate Bridge with my dad when I was way too old to be doing that. I was like 14 or 15. My parents were like, we're going to go on a big bike ride.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Then it was just humiliating the whole time. It's hard to coordinate. Right. Yeah, like two butting heads with the guy about what gear you want to be in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Like we had to get from our hotel to, you know what I mean? I thought it was like you start at one end, you drop it off. And we biked it all the way to like Sausalito, which is like on the other side of the bridge, and then took a ferry with it back.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
you know it's like 11 feet long yeah my dad jerry-rigged like a a thing to hold my car seat on the back of his bike yeah when we were kids and it was like held together that's terrifying terrifying that's like the one thing you don't you don't want to jerry-rig you want to be you want to have professionals bolt that in and it was like held together by those um
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
like you know those like it's like a elastic rope with like two hooks on the end that like every dad has in the garage yeah it was a bungee cord yeah so it was like just held together by a bunch of bungee cords yep and he said we were biking to church when i was a kid and the front one fell off and so the the seat went back and And I was like inverted. But I couldn't speak English yet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
So I couldn't like... What were you speaking then? Taiwanese maybe. But he was like... There was no way for me to communicate what the problem was. And when you're biking, it's kind of hard to like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And I spent all morning thinking about it, and I'm sorry for that. Well, don't let them get to you. There's a lot of people out there. That doesn't mean anything. Correct. That was pretty much nonsense.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Assess the situation so he just heard like boom boom boom boom and it was my head hitting the back tire I was wearing a helmet with my head hitting the back tire and he was like thankfully we were like around a corner so my mom Couldn't see it yet because he was like 50 yards in front of her He was like I got it back fixed by the time she came around the corner and we had to like pretend we were just waiting for her
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
That explains so much. I know. One time... His head was hit on a bike tire ten times.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
As a little child. I mean, that is... It's all connected. He actually got, like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
got me to hit my head like a lot when i was a kid when i was got me to like he like egged you on no no like like it was like completely his fault multiple times there was one time we were snowmobiling and the plow had pushed all the snow into just like the perfect jump yeah in the world in our driveway and so we were coming back across the pond there's like a pond that when it freezes you can go out on there and like dick around
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And he was like, I was sitting between his legs like this. And so there's like the front part of the handlebars on a snowmobile that's like kind of padded, but like not really. And I'm wearing my new yellow helmet. It was sick. I had a visor on it. And he was like, should we hit this jump? I'm like, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And he was like, he just gunned it and like kind of didn't really think about like how it was going to go. And so when we landed, we landed like ass first and it like slammed forward. And my head went into the middle part of the handlebars and popped my visor out. And like nothing happened, but I was furious that my new helmet was broken.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
So I was like, I'm going to go like I like got off to run to tell my mom like he broke my helmet. He broke my helmet. And he said we had like a negotiation in the lawn.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
about like dude if you just just be cool like we'll go get a new one like right we can get you can get whatever one get whatever one you want and so we like kind of like slapped the visor back on and walked in but the visor was like shattered and she was like what happened and we made up some story but i still i don't know if she knows about that she's gonna know now like multiple times almost like clip this and send it to her yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
How many concussions have you had? I think two or three. I got two in the same month. I think I told you that. I was in college. I told my mom I was playing basketball, but the truth is I'd been over-served, and I was walking down a really steep street, and I just ate shit and slammed my head on the concrete.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
and i woke up uh like there's like blood on my forehead and shit uh it was kind of scary and so then i went to like concussion protocol and uh there's like athletes there well that's the thing i went to like the school like the college doctor and it it literally was like the athlete guy uh and i was not exactly an athlete at that point but i was like i had I was getting through it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I remember I had like one week left and it was Easter. There was this all-time moment where we had planned this trip to my parents' house in Maine for Easter with all my friends and my other parents were gone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And I tripped on a bench. and hit my head into the brick wall in the stadium and went in the next day and he like evaluated me he was like yeah this is like worse than the first one so it's like my whole spring of my junior year of college i was like in and out of a concussion oh but
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
god saves his toughest battles for his strongest warriors oh and then i had one i maybe last year too when i fell off a scooter yeah speaking of hitting your head yeah same brunch on saturday sunday we're sitting there and there's this kid kind of like rocking you know like you find that perfect pivot point on the chair yep and
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And I was like, why is no, why are his parents like, this was a, just a disaster waiting to happen and no one's stopping it. And then you see him and he, cause he's doing the like bounce thing where he like comes back and then hits the table and bounce, whatever. And he just gave it like the biggest push I've ever seen. How old is this kid? Seven, six, seven.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And he just went like ass over tea kettle, went all the way back.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
smacks his head on the ground and like everyone in the restaurant like rushes over to him as if this wasn't a thing that like i could have seen this coming 20 minutes before it happened and so he obviously because everyone around him is panicking he starts panicking and has like kind of a mini freak out and uh and he was like a celebrity for the rest of brunch because you were like got to watch this whole thing happen yeah and then when he's leaving he was kind of like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Like I think you probably got a concussion and we were talking about it. Like if you're a parent and you like freak out when your kid gets hurt, like they freak out. But have you ever seen those parents that like the kid takes the biggest spill and no one acknowledges it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
So the kid like doesn't like, I think if you just parent them in a way where like when they take a spill, you're like, are you, are you okay? Instead of being like, they don't freak out. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I like those videos where they're holding a baby.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Soap in the mouth? Maybe... I think because my mom's parents were very strict. Yeah. But she was like just the nicest woman. But every once in a while, I think it was like a new thing would happen and she didn't have the parenting tools for it. And so she would like go to revert to like what happened to her and then realize like, oh, wait, what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
yeah i uh we had a timeout chair yeah that i was very scared of that they would make me go sit in but in retrospect it was like the comfiest chair we had in our house yeah and i always thought that was funny well it's just because you're confined to that yes even though like chilling there wouldn't be bad but you ever see that there's a monty python sketch where they're like we sentence you to
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
It's just, it's just like a silly thing they do on. And so it's like an on, it was like online before it was on TV and they would do these sort of silly joke. Yeah. Nice. One another. And they, what's TV? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Shorter length guys. Shorter... It's a movie for... It's movies for guys with no girth.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Ours was the third step on the stairs.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And it was torture. Because it was just like you couldn't fully get your foot on the ground. And it would be like, I think it was like the longest I ever sat in there was like 15 minutes. Yeah. But I remember just sitting there and being like, when I get off this fucking stair, all hell is going to break loose.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
So my brother and sister and I, our bedrooms were on the third floor of our house. And there's this like kind of big, tall, long staircase up to it. It was pretty steep. And like my dad, I guess, growing up with my brother and sister would do the double carry where you like take one over each arm and take them up to bed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
So I wake up very hungover and we have brunch with my family. All of us?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
He's like, Mary Pat, remember when I did the triple carry?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
uh sobbed when she found out i was a boy but then also was like i think i was like really mean to her as like a little kid like she always wanted just to love me and hug me and i would like scream when she picked me up so i feel a little bit of guilt for that but i don't know i didn't do it i mean i don't remember doing it and then i was a terror to my brother in his teenage years knocking him out for drinking and stuff
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Yeah, I remember finding out my oldest sister smoked weed and just being like... I got to do something. Like, I got to put a stop to this. Like, she's going to die.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I was like, what the hell is this little, like, container out there? Like, I actually had no idea. So you're getting into cooking? I went to bed. And then years later, he, like, something came up with, like, weed. And I was like, it, like, all clicked.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
We have brunch with my family and my girlfriend is like looking at the menu of the place we're going to. In advance? In advance. Classic girlfriend. I know. I'm glad she did though because it threw me into a spiral. I don't know if you guys have eaten at Jelena. They don't tell you what the food is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And I was just like, mom... There's weed in Kara's center console. She was like, what? No, don't. No. She was like, we're not those type of people. We're not going to rat on each other. That's odd. I'll talk to your sister, but that's weird that you're one of those. They used to dress me up in like dresses and stuff. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And they got like 10,000 views, which I got the time was like. Yeah. just a career ender and uh at a tough time at keeping that one off people's radar at school my my brother uploaded a video in 2008 that got over a hundred thousand views jesus and it was called uh i don't even know if i can say this word wanksta rap
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Yeah, that was pretty crazy. That was very early YouTube. There weren't enough videos. Yeah. It was the talk of the town, man. I saw a video of the YouTube founders a couple months into it coming out, and they were just talking about how they didn't think it was going to be... I just saw that video. They were like 40 videos uploaded, and they were just like, no one is using this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I just saw that this week. There was a video...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I was like eight. And I was like, you know who else has dreadlocks? Lil Wayne. And he had just dropped Bedrock. So it was... I used to listen to that when I would go to sleep. I was obsessed with bedrock. Oh, I love that song. I was like, let's make a bedrock music video. And so I'm in the dreadlocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
So I didn't do blackface, but I did black hair and uploaded an entire full-length music video of me as Lil Wayne to bedrock. You're also eight, so I can't... No, I think you're going down for this. Yeah. I just want to say to all... Eight's old enough, man.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
It's just all the ingredients listed and then you have to like do the math of like what that would equal. Really?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Yeah, there's pictures of me with, like, me and my dad used to dress up with sombreros and mustaches for the Jets when Mark Sanchez was winning all those playoff games. And those pictures are very much still out there. I think that's more damning for Denell and Tube Plus than you. Yeah. Denell and Tube Plus.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
You need a lot of it. Alright. I'll tell you a little bit about my morning this morning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
The shampoo and conditioner. It's 2-in-1. 2-in-1, yeah. I just counted. The 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner gets me feeling right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
i was granted i was exaggerating a little bit but like in the moment when it's like a confusing yeah menu i was furious she was trying to find things that sounded good yeah and one of the things was like she was like you could get the duck hash and i was like what why would i do it was the worst thing she possibly could have said
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
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Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Very cool. I was telling my mom a story about Negronis. A story about Negronis. It's like a guy you know. I was at dinner a couple weeks ago. And the guy asked me what gin I wanted in my Negroni. And I had never considered what alcohol was in a Negroni. And I don't like gin. And I was like, gin in my Negroni? Like I knew what was in a Negroni, and he was like, yeah, that's what's in them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
No, apparently it's gin. What's a Negroni? I don't even know. It's like Campari gin. It's like a red drink. It's kind of bitter. It's lovely. You'd like it. I don't think I would like that at all.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Yep. And so I learned that I apparently do like gin. Just in a Negroni. So I was telling her this awesome story. And our waiter like appeared out of thin air. And he was like, did somebody say Negroni? Can I get you guys started with a couple? And we were like, ah, yes, you can. I like this guy. And then he was bringing us free food. He was cool. Everything was quick. Just all around great waiter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
The rage that I got filled with when I saw like another
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
table having fun with chris yeah it was the it was the most mad i've been ever i looked over and he hit her he hit this old woman with like a zinger and she like almost fell out of her chair and i was like you whore that's my man i was furious yeah it's kind of like when you found out dr vu that's exactly what i was gonna say it was it was the most mad i've ever been in my entire life yeah that is really it felt it felt like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
It felt like... Same thing with your babysitter, too. Yeah. It just... It felt like getting cheated on. It felt like getting cheated on but a hundred times worse. Well, that's like when I walked in here and Lauren was recording another podcast yesterday. Is that true? Yeah, with two way hotter guys. Maybe. What do you have to say? They were doing sayings that do exist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
You have a side pod? What was your side pod? Side pod. Elevator pitch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
We should clip that. I don't have anything to say. Nothing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
for the first time yeah do you like it yeah i thought going in i thought it was a chick flick oh that's why i had never seen it flick not did i well i don't really yeah yeah i just thought it was girl it had girl you don't like girl movies My sister grew up making me watch 27 Dresses and shit, and I don't. That ain't going to do it for me. And that's what I thought Gone Girl was.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Turns out, it's not. And it's got that rugged, sexy, the town energy that I like out of the movie. Ben Affleck. Bingo. He's... Rugged, sexy, the town energy? Yeah. I watch Gone Girl for the rugged, sexy, the town energy. This sort of detached, might-be-a-psychopath, sexy, hunk vibe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Yeah, he comes off as pretty. But I feel like he's kind of supposed to. Wait, why?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
So what happens? I haven't seen it. This is the part of the bucket where we spoil Gone Girl as a heads up. If you haven't seen Gone Girl, skip two minutes ahead. His wife goes missing and he gets framed. He's like the top suspect. Everyone thinks that he killed her. And then it basically comes out that she left and framed him. for killing her. Why did she do that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Because he was cheating on her and she had found that out. It was a loveless marriage. And he was cheating on her with Emily Radjikowsky. You know she hooked up with Gibby? Emily Radikowski? On iCarly. On iCarly? Well, her character hooked up with Gibby. She was on iCarly? Look up Emily Radikowski. It's the funniest clip of all time. That might be an overstatement.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
It's so funny. Is that another chick flick? If you like Gone Girl, you're going to love this episode of iCarly. Go to videos. Oh, and Neil Patrick Harris is in it, but he's not gay. The bottom one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
What's wrong with her? Nothing. All right, we get it. But Gibby's in a velour tracksuit and is presumably hooking up with Tasha.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
All right, should we do the permitting division of the building department? Oh, wait, we should do our road map. Road map. Buckle in your seat. Hit the road, it's the road map time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
With a sponsor, then they have to sponsor us. Falcons are winning the Super Bowl. Oh, for what? That's a rule of podcasting. If you say something's presented, we just say it's presented by someone and then we invoice them. All right. Welcome to the Roadmap presented by... I feel like we shouldn't do this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Yes. All right. We have a lovely episode today. We dilute the importance of our actual sponsors. We have actual sponsors? I think so. I think so. What? We've just been faking it till we make it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
This guy rocks. This guy rocks today. Hey, we're going to teach you guys cool ways to say everyday things. And then we're going to tell you new ways to say you're drunk. Love it. All right. Wait, first I have the permitting? You have the permitting. Wait, where is it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Yep. Okay. I'll read it again for you, Willie. Okay. Is it the one Lauren texted? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Well, I'm going to have to say it. We'll just believe it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I'll tell you once Will had something to say. Oh, I was going to ask if you... I was thinking about Segways because you said Segway. Do you ever know guys that actually rode on the... Yeah, like at school? I had a neighbor that would cruise around in one of those.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Mount Pleasant. Say that again. What type of nurse is she?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I Got like a 10-foot cliff like what? What now
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Play date. Episode 82. Episode 82 are... I feel like maybe Roddy White. Sure. Give it a shot, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I can kind of do it, but when someone else is doing it, I can't listen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Bleep that. Bleep that and replace it with... Scorp. Sign documents.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Unrelated. Speaking of wearing your seatbelts, sometimes I take my seatbelt off before we land. Oh, on airplanes? On airplanes. Dude, I've definitely done that before. Hundreds of times. Yeah. That might be an exaggeration. But like... They don't know. No one tells... I feel like when I was a kid, they'd be like, time to put your seatbelt on.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
uh you can't like you're just wherever you are you're stuck there because you can't drive anywhere waking up and feeling like you're the worst person ever yeah the anxiety
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
All right. I love that so much. I'm excited by the prospect of the skills. I am too. I have one hole to poke in it. Hit me. He is implying that you're going to know who it is, which is usually true where you're like, okay, can't text these eight people. But sometimes I'll wake up after a big night and be like, what? How did I send that to that person? It'll be like someone I...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
went to like middle school with yep and we had like a full dialogue yep like the the thought of being able to foresee who you're gonna want to text is almost an impossible task yeah agreed it's uh what kind of skills would you need But that's also the, yeah, it's like you have to like set your phone up and like do like, I don't know, like a cartwheel. Cartwheel.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Maybe, I guess you could do the ABCs backwards. I can't do that so good. I know, that one feels so hard. That one I'm, that's like the. Should we try it? Yeah. Z. Wait. Z, Y, X, R. No. R. R? I don't know. It's as far as. Z, Y, X, W. W. T. T.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I feel like I actually go on my phone way less when I'm drinking. Yeah, but once you have a moment to yourself, you're like, who's going to feel my wrath? I feel like it's more IRL, which is sometimes scary because then there's no paper trail, which is nice, I guess, in theory, but then it's like you can overthink things that weren't bad. I mean, you were really bad on Saturday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I had so much anxiety after Lloyd's. Wait, really? After Lloyd's party, yeah. Same. I was joking. You guys were totally fine. Really? Yeah, I was with you the whole time. Unless the last hour went insane, I left at midnight and you guys were fine. That's what Flan tried to tell me. She was like, what? No, I was like, I was so bad last night. And she was like, what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And now they just don't... I think they assume like that guy's an adult. He would put it on. I was listening to an interview of a guy who was on the plane that flipped. And he was like, yeah, we all landed. Thank God we were all wearing our seatbelts and we were all just hanging upside down. Yeah, I was thinking about that. Like we might have fucking died.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
No, I was with you the entire night. You didn't... I was just worried. Having to make an announcement twice and then stick to my guns was like, that was the most embarrassing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Yeah, like 90% of the party knew you. Oh, I have one thing that I said was bad. Not bad. But Ryan brought like the two coolest friends ever. They were nice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
and one of them was wearing like a really long pink wig yeah and like that makes anyone look like not good and then he took it off to adjust it and he was like very handsome when he took the wig off and what i meant to say was like something along the lines of like like i wasn't expecting you to be this it was a weird comment to make regardless but i basically was like oh that wig really threw me for a loop like i didn't think you were gonna be handsome that seems normal oh that's fine
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
okay never mind i have nothing that's like what i would want to hear yeah oh when i looked over at ryan he was like what um oh wait those pictures of me were myself oh i was dying i looked way more ridiculous than i thought did you see the one mia took of you at hanano oh we need your photos
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Take advantage of these offerings and be sure to use bonus code PLAYDATE when you sign up with BetMGM. That's Code Playdate when you sign up with BetMGM. Let's get back into the episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Because they, like, exiled other guys to, like, Tasmania. Let them go down there and they had, like, a bunch of alcohol. Yeah, that makes sense. And their accent just developed into a drunk accent. It's funny.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I will not. All right. That'd be a cool name. Will not. William not. There's a book. There's a show out right now called Will Trent.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Wait, we'll put a picture of Trent at Lauren's party right here. It was Trent's brother. Oh, that Trent. I was talking about my other buddy Trent.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
It's not all about his slopes. It's not all about the slopes for me. All right. I went on a first date. Her slopes. Insane. What does that mean?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I constantly am learning new things that my parents were taking care of that I didn't notice. You just get like bills for stuff. Yeah, I would say bills in general. Bills in general. Like you have to keep an eye on my credit score. Stuff like that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
That's not exclusive to being an adult.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Sounds great. That sounds awesome. Does it like feed you through like osmosis? No, I think it's through like the intestine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
i i love it i just worry about getting all wet yeah i don't know if i actually what about bed bed bed is adult womb bed is adult womb you can create a i create a womb like every sunday put my blinds all the way down yeah get my root get my room as dark as possible put on how i met your mother and get under the covers i gotta get new blinds my the blinds that like come with an apartment like mine suck their ass yeah i need to get new ones
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I love it. I got blinds that just came with the apartment.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Don't they like barely stop the sun?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Oh, I thought yours were like the sheer linen one. That was my last apartment. But my new one, no, it's plastic ones. But if I turn left, it's so bright. So I have to sleep like this so the bright doesn't get me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Side, I curl up like this. Back and fetal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
i always start on my stomach and then i and then it's on your stomach yeah then it hurts starts to hurt my back it's really bad for your back wait how and that's why where do you put your mouth oh you put your arm like this it's so comfy it's like you're like this but it's really really bad for your back and i've been doing it for quite a long time i'm trying to undo that habit i've never done it um all right what is the hardest thing about becoming a baller uh letting go of the people who bring you down
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
No, no, like a money baller. It's expensive. Being a baller is expensive. Introducing baller share. Split the cost of baller things with other people who can't afford to be ballers. So like you and I can't afford nice things yet. But if we all pitched in, we could afford the baller lifestyle. So Rolex. Yep. New whip. Yup. Yup. You get access to one baller thing a week to flex around town.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And it's just like a rotating thing. I like that. It's still expensive. Yeah. But you like, I own one, I own one 50, one 52nd of a Rolex. Like one month of the year. I have a Lamborghini.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
one week of the year i have a rolex one one week of the year i have a lambo one week of the year i have a steak i have a huge steak one year one week of the year i have like a mink coat one week of the year just a rotating thing how we all pitch it one week of the year you have a house we're pitching a time chair now i like but it's like yeah you have a new baller thing each week and we all split the cost done
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Maybe the three of us could go in on a big hat. That'd be funny if the three of us probably could go in on like a nice car and just split it. I'm down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Well, you'd get Mondays, Tuesdays.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Yeah, I would only want it on the weekends. Okay, I'll take the five days you get Saturday, Lauren gets Sunday. But you have to pay five-seventh of the cost.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Monday is not equal to Wednesday. Monday is not equal to Saturday. Can we hash this out later, guys?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
By the time this has come out, I will have already dog sat Birdie. So we'll put a picture of me and Birdie right here. Dog from Kara.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I'll have one photo by Friday. Oh, cool. Wait, what were we saying?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
oh yeah we just put a big hat okay teach me something willy what or sorry pitch me pitch me something remember when you used to always do that i have to i have to poop so i'm sorry we got a lot yeah you want to go do it i have a lot more stuff to get through i want to go do it all right play that theme music and when i come back i'm gonna be two pounds lighter oh
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Have you watched it? Yeah, I watched the video. It happened like really... it was obviously I'm not trying to make it seem like it wasn't a huge deal. As far as plane crashes go, this one looked like a walk in the park. Like it landed completely normally and then was just like, did you notice there? Did you see the guy, this screenshot that was going viral?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
oh i feel just so much better so this is rusty after pooping well you imagine you look like totally different like you have like four hands wow grape pitch me willy oh i got a good one you tweeting no i'm paying me up for the wi-fi bill how much is your wi-fi bill
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Really? I pay $68. In Wi-Fi? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Total. Are you like hacking into the main thing? You're saying so it's $40.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I don't think 68 is bad. We have like the highest speed one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Okay, we got like the highest possible because Jerry edits sometimes. That makes sense. I thought you meant 68 each. I don't know. Do you pay it? Yeah, for sure. Well, because like our utilities, some guys like the bill goes directly to them twice. Yeah. So I don't, I'm like completing multiple Venmo's requests a month, but I don't really. You don't know what the allocation is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Yeah, that makes sense. yeah i was like i have to request everyone it's like 22 each a month yeah it's not because it's three of us yeah but we got that good shit bro you can look up anything you can look up like the biggest thing about the big no seriously bear with me picture the the biggest uh website of all time no no question
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Isn't that insane? Lauren's Wi-Fi confines her to, like, Bing. Yeah, or she could look up, like, a tiny website about, like, ants. Like a little mouse. Like a website about a little mouse, exactly. Lauren's only goes to Miniclip.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And Club Penguin. Right. She could probably go to Cool Math Games, though, because that only has, like, 12 games.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I'm getting all heated again. Oh, there I go, getting heated again. I want to say something. Here's my pitch. The speaker shirt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I'm like, I like that. Because usually when you're going to the beach, you want a speaker too. This is a good two-in-one. I'm a slut for two-in-ones. Sucker. Pardon my language. Speaker, shirt. Sometimes when I don't have headphones, I'll do this thing where I go like this and walk around because then you don't have to play it very loud and other people can't hear it. You do not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
You have to tuck it in your shirt a little bit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Really? Yes, I have done this probably... 10, 20 times in my life. No, like, on the rig. Wow. But, obviously, also, like, I wouldn't do it in, like, crowded places because I would look like a freak. But, like, if I was walking around the pond or something. Like you do. Like, in college, there was a big pond that you used to walk around. Recreating that scene from Good Will Hunting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
But if you're outside walking around and there's no one within 10 feet of you, then it's like headphones, but you don't have to have something stuck in your ear. I like it. I think you should take it up a notch. Oh, no. Long sleeve? If you're going to have a speaker shirt, you got to own it. I think it's like you show up to a party. Oh. It has a giant speaker in the middle. It's blasting.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Now everyone congregates around you. And the bass gives you abs. And the bass gives you abs. That's good.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
The entire shirt is a speaker. No, I'm picturing just two little ones here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Whatever that morsel thing she was saying, we could try that. We'll put a picture right here where I'm picturing that, like, LeBron Sprite commercial where his head, like, comes apart. Maybe Drake. But, like, his head, like, comes apart. It's all, like, speakers. Then it, like, goes back in. Trying to get a Sprite sponsorship. What was that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
starry they rebranded as starry they got rid of when was last time you saw a sierra mist you haven't uh like last year nope at least three years i've never seen this in my life that's not true it's everywhere that's the new sierra mist literally i've never seen this look you've never been outside then because it's literally it's everywhere you probably never clocked it you probably thought it was like sprite or something it's an ice cold sierra mist
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Pulled up a picture. Shotgunning a Sierra Miss. You're like, see? When I was in middle school, you remember when TFM came out? Total frat move. I don't remember when it came out, but I remember it existing. I remember seeing that and thinking like shotgunning was going to be like a big, big part of college. And I was like, I need to start getting prepped.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And so I would shotgun polar seltzers, which burned so much more than a beer. Yeah, that's way worse. But it was almost like resistance training, you know, like sprinters sprint with like that parachute behind them. So when you take it off, they can go faster. Oh, really? I got really good at shotgunning beers because it was like, if I can shotgun this like acid water.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
That's really funny. Yeah, wait, so Lauren had a killer wig party on Saturday. Oh, yeah. So, Lauren, what room are you in right now? Lauren, they built over the weekend, apparently built a room behind Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
It's going to make a beer way. A beer was like walking the park. I, when I was in Paraguay, when I was like 14. Didn't they like smuggle you in there? No, I had to go hide under the seat when I was crossing the Brazilian border. But that was a different time. But I went back to Paraguay, that was when I was like eight. But when I went back when I was like 15, I lived there for like six weeks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
oh and you're not drinking because you didn't want to because like your parents were there my parents weren't there and they were like you can if you want but i was terrified of it i was 14 i don't know and uh i mean yeah i was i guess i was a worm i didn't drink till my senior year of high school this was in the sort of my friend damn yeah i started sophomore year what were you doing freshman
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
High school. I don't know. Like big parties happening.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
But I didn't... I was scared of it. I don't know. I mean, it definitely served you better in the long run, I think. The longer you wait, the more...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
yeah i mean i would just like we just like have my buddies come over we just like play fifa and build rube goldberg machines and shit it was awesome what was the second thing we used to build rube goldberg machines which of course like it's like you know like okay like this that's like really cute as like a junior in high school that's awesome yeah yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I mean, I kind of just said that in passing. I definitely didn't do it like that many. Feels like you did it a lot. That was my first ever viral TikTok. We were featured in the local news for Rube Goldberg machine I built during COVID. They were like local dweebs miss epic party to build children's contraption. You've never seen the...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Wait, how cute. Well, others were getting laid. Wait, is there not a link to the video? Oh, wait, it ends with it pouring a yingling? Yeah, it's awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Where it looks like if someone walks through that door, it's like a minute of applause before they get to deliver their line. So Lauren has a killer party.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Wait, wait. She was upset that you were taking too long building it? Yeah. Or testing it. Wait, wait.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
It's right at the bottom. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Wow. Wait, wow. But, like, it only has, like, a thousand likes. I was about to say, I don't want to kick you while you're up. Yeah, kick me. It has 800 likes. I know. But, okay, so what happened is I posted it the first time and it got, like, maybe 5,000 likes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
That's awesome. Yeah. I think Sam wants another beer. Yeah, I know. And so you guys were just shooting basketballs across the house and blasting music and your mom was trying to sleep.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
So this was, I mean, honestly, I would probably be, it's not like you guys did this for the first time. Like what it sounds like is you spent, she had to listen to this your entire high school. I did probably five or six of them over my, the years. Far too many. Lamps are getting, like, shattered. Me and Aiden Gomez made a sick one. I would do it for, like, projects and stuff. That's awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I think the coolest part about it is the subwoofer being a vessel to knock the dominoes. Yeah, that's crazy. Where it, like, started on the computer. Song age poorly, though. Should we do Teach Me Something? Yeah, I would love that. Teach me something. I'm going to butcher the pronunciation of this. Okay. But tardigrades, also known as water bears, can survive in the vacuum of space.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Lauren lived there and then Lauren threw like a high school party. Okay, there were only a handful of high school parties. I had so much fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
These tiny microscopic creatures can endure extreme heat, freezing temperatures, crushing pressure, and even radiation. When faced with harsh conditions, they enter a state called cryptobiosis, where they dry out in Nevada.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I'm sorry. Cryptobiosis where they dry out and essentially shut down their metabolism. They can survive like this for decades and then rehydrate and return to life as if nothing happened. So there are these little tiny microscopic organisms that like if the shit hits the fan, they just shut down. And can wait like a hundred years. And then just go back to life. Isn't that crazy?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
tardigrades well like you're in like an awkward conversation you just dry up i'm shutting down for a hundred years i actually don't know if i can look at that why why i don't know like the look at the mouth on that thing it's like freaking me out you don't like it it's like a gun you don't like its hole i love that hole wait oh they do look kind of like weird like bears how much how big is that it's like microscopic you wouldn't be able to see it that's awesome
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I do like that. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that is insane. Have you guys ever heard? This one's sort of interactive. Have you ever heard of Zoom Schwartz Perfigliano? No. So it's come to light recently that this isn't something everyone grew up playing, but this was a game my dad and I and my brother and I used to always, he would always play.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
So it's just like I say. Oh. I was trying to make Lauren realize how it feels when she does that, but then she was still on her phone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
All right, so real quick, the game is if I look at you and say Zoom, then you're up. Okay. And if you look at him and say Zoom, then he's up. So you just pass it by saying Zoom. You just can't Zoom back to the person that Zoomed you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
This is kind of like when we were playing King's Cup at Lauren's and it's like room skirt. Yeah, yeah, kind of. And then if you look up and say Perfigliano, it goes back to the person that zoomed it to you. And if you say Schwartz and look anywhere side to side, it also sends it back. All right. So if I zoom Lauren, she has to zoom you. She can do whatever she wants.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
She can't zoom back to me though because I just zoomed it. Yeah, but she could Schwartz it and then it will go back to you or Perfigliano and then it will go back to you. So both Perfigliano and Schwartz just go back. Okay. All right, ready? Zoom. Zoom. Zoom. Schwartz. You lost. So you can deceive me by looking? Yeah. So anyway, that's the game Zoom Shorts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Well, anyway, so I brought this up to my friends the other day, and they were like, this is the dumbest game of all time. I was getting clowned to no end.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Anyway, and then I look it up. I Google it. I'm like, is this something my dad made up? And sure enough, there is a massive Wikipedia page about it. And it has the section called possible origins that I think is just hysterical.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Is it a drinking game? It was a drinking game, yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Dude, that would be an awesome documentary.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
perfiguliano zoom schwartz perfiguliano that's awesome yeah so anyway um oh i want to playmate too or maybe lauren could answer this my sisters went to this summer camp and they would come back and they learned this game called like snaps
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
like you know if you like fold two phone books together you can't pull them apart yeah even though there's nothing holding it she would put it in there and so technically it wouldn't the card wouldn't fall out but it's not adding any pressure interesting to the tab and so i called her out on it who is this i think it might have been leah you can ask her she's cooked and uh and then unbeknownst to me the landlord had texted lauren like you know time to wrap it up yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
where they're like oh yeah the game is snaps and like like i would think of a celebrity yeah and they would teach it to the they would get it to the other person without ever saying anything except for like snaps and i never figured out how to do it does anyone do it i think i know how to do it okay do you know how to do it no well i can't do it solo okay well we need a can you explain it then i think it's something like the first word you say
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
is the first consonant. And then you snap through the vowels, like A-E-I-O-U. So if I was trying... But I remember being like Tom Cruise and the first word they said was not T. So I think it has something to do with like... Of course...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
you know what i mean like second letter of course it would be this person oh maybe yeah i could i guess i i could be wrong yeah you know what i mean and then they snapped through it because i remember it being like in like i spent hours trying to crack it like in front of a cork board yeah yeah uh all right should we do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
All right. Lauren, pause this one immediately. And I mean immediately. This is a gentleman by the name of Jamie Goldspink.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Love it. Yep. I like that he's still moving his fingers around the fretboard, too.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
He does, like, when they change keys, he does, he understands that it's time to change keys, but he just, he can't play the right notes. You know? I love that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
He's got a whole, there's a lot to like about Jamie. I agree. Does that guy rock or what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I put the sock all the way in my mouth. By living to dream. I don't know where he got it. All right, just watch it. Just watch it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I don't know where he got this from a baseball player.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I thought you were going to throw up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Why, dude? I had to see it, so I felt like you guys had to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
He far from rocks. Can I just say... I'll concede that. He might not rock. Let's think about this. That guy sucks. All jokes aside, the only baseball players that are wearing normal dry fit socks are Little League baseball players. That's awesome. Have you considered that this might be a legitimate pedophile?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Because apparently there was a baby blow. And Lauren just phrased it to me like, come on, let's go to the bars. Tell everyone we're going to the bars. And so I started going around being like, hey, all right, we're going to go to the bars. And it wasn't really making any... No one was really listening. Yeah, it wasn't sticking. And so Lauren was like, make an announcement. You did do it. Twice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
It was not his only offense. Can you go to the one of him in a skirt, Lauren? Wait, I... You have to. I'm sorry. Just for me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I guess I'm sorry. Fuck. Your guy next week, around Wednesday, better fucking rock. Let me tell you that much. You are on thin ice right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Would you rather start with cool ways to say everyday things or new ways to say you're drunk? Cool ways to say everyday things. I'm very excited about this one. All right. All right, these are cool ways... Sorry, I can't see my... These are cool ways to say everyday things. So I think you say, like, for blank, blank. Crying is emptying the feelings tank. Love it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
For lighting a candle, flick and wick. I like that a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Like it. Definitely makes me think of pubi. Turning on a light is torch and bulb. Nice. Brushing your teeth is cleaning fang. Brushing your teeth is scrubbing fang. That's kind of crazy. Beat you to it. Tying your shoes is now lacing boot. I got a lace boot real quick. That's very good. Doing your laundry, tossing cloth.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
um oh locking the front door is now securing the fortress like that uh if you're gonna take a nap you say i'm gonna close up shop for a little like that uh that's all i had turning off the lights is making night i like that a lot And then I also had taking a shower is cleansing bod. Kind of mailed that one in. And drinking coffee is powering up. I like that. Fuel for the day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I gotta go cleanse bod real quick. I didn't have coffee today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Yeah. These are new ways to say you're drunk. I'm lost in the liquid forest. I'm down a few buttons. I've lost my footing. Keep me away from the nukes. I've been thrown overboard. I can't hit the dartboard. I'm solving the impossible riddle. I'm halfway to horsetown. I'm bass-ackwards. I've seen a thing or two. I'm drowned.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
But so my thought was like, Lauren's going to be... Twice got everyone's attention and announced a bar that was closed. But Lauren... I thought Lauren was going to be standing behind me and it was going to be very clear that this guy... Like, Lauren, he's doing this on behalf of Lauren, the host of the party.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Binder. Binder. Yes. Okay, Binder, tell us of your travels. You were gone for two weeks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Really? Tell us about it. Did he know you live in America?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I don't want to say it to her. Ask her your question. No, I don't want to say it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I hated him. He stole my girl. Okay, wait. So you went on a date with this guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I was joking. That's why I said that. You can't group us in. We're not the same age normally. I agree. I haven't Snapchatted someone in years. I still Snapchat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Yeah, no. I've had a few group chats.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Lauren just walked away both times, so it looked like there was just a rogue guy trying to shut down someone else's party. And then... After the second time, you have to just stick to your guns. Because if I stayed... Yeah, yeah. Everyone loses respect for me. So I just left alone.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
What does down for whatever mean?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Bobby does it all the time. Does he really? No. All right. So you went on. Wait, wait, wait. Let's do a hypothetical dating show. The two men are competing against each other. Which one did you like more?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I would definitely prefer they listen to ours.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Can we role play the dating show? Will's the Australian guy. I'm the New Zealand guy. We'll come in. Oh, my.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I didn't like you pressuring me into kissing you when I was just trying to get you nutty about. And I had lots of fun because I'm from New Zealand and I'm down for anything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
All right, this has been a lovely episode of Planet. We love you guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
And then no one followed me. And so I was thinking about it the next day like... Because there were a handful of people I didn't know there that would have just been like, who's that guy that just announced the party was over and then left? You guys were like five seconds behind me, but that was the most embarrassed I've been in a while. Being in the elevator, just like fucking...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I finished Peaky Blinders last night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Only she don't bark. She don't bark.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Oh, yeah, that's all the comments do, right? All right, get out of here. We're doing ads.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Can I help with the ads? We love you guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
no one respects me the well the funniest part too is that the bar you announced literally was not open what bar did i say no i think it was open it was just dead it was closed oh it was actually close yeah um we we ubered there and then but i actually yeah the other yeah
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I guess the real question is, like, you'd have to be in a scenario where there's... Like, right now...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I think if you had a chair at Penn Mars, people would eat you alive. Wait, really? These things are hard to come by. Oh, I don't know. I've never been. It's all like sitting on the floor.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Oh, like a beach chair. Beach chair. Beach chair. Yes, beach chair. Yes. Another thing that happened. We get in line to order beers and pastilles.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I didn't fart. I didn't fart. Prove it. That one sounded like it stung. It hurt. But I didn't do it. If I had done it, it would have hurt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
okay so we get in line to order beers and where is this no no it's me in there me will's friend leah and my girlfriend and i give them my card and i'm like i'm going to the bathroom will you guys get i was like get two beers for us get one for leah and then apparently the second i left will just queued up with like eight other guys and was like come on jack's buying no that is not what happened
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Didn't Aaron Hernandez wear 82 at one point? He was always 85. No, he was 81. Oh, this is devastating. I feel like a fucking idiot. Dion Branch, final guess. We can try again at the end if we want to. 83. God damn it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
I love triple. Me too, brother. I did. I partook.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
It was awesome. I went on a nice hike on Saturday, and then we got back, and we played Wingspan and ate In-N-Out. And let me tell you, when you're playing a board game and eating cheeseburgers... There is about no better drink to have in your hand than a triple. It's truly... I don't want to speak for the people over at Triple. Yep. That is what triples were made for.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we built the biggest rube goldberg machine
Triple is currently available at grocery stores, liquor stores, bars, and restaurants in Missouri, Kansas, Iowa, Louisiana, Georgia, Florida, and South Carolina.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I get home, I make dinner, I eat it, I get high, I put on a movie, put the sleep timer to 30 minutes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
One time my friend Seamus made me laugh so hard I shit myself at a... Shit myself is an overstatement.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
So I ran into the bathroom without telling anyone and yeah, it was good. Es gab eine Frau, die an demselben Haus schluchzte. Das war die Huntington. Eine Frau, die schluchzte?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I saw him in Montauk and he sang that song four times in a row on the left.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I was gonna make fun of it, and then I realized that it was nice and sweet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Es war echter. Was redest du? Kony 2012 war nicht echter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Hey, hey, I said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Oh, that's one of the dream starters. What's his wife's name? I don't know. What's his name? Kev. What's his last name?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Mr. and Mrs. Raquel, we really hope that this is going to put you to sleep and we love you. Shh. Sleep. Shh. Close your eyes. Ah!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Okay, ich bin Reware. Willi, pitch mir ein Event. Was? Pitch mir ein Event, in das du gehen musst, in das du dein Outfit kennen musst. Stagecoach.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Oh, also, that reminds me, now that we're on the topic of... Look at all those videos, that's so many.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Now that we are on the topic of families that listen to Playdate, Peyton Ward, shout out, her baby watches Playdate, and I like to think that when it grows up, it's going to be just like us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
So we buried him and there was a garden inside. We buried him in the garden. I was terrified someone was going to find it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
That might be true. Alright. Can I pee and then we'll hear another pitch?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Oh yeah. And then green screen them in. There could be like big jack dudes giving us massages.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I don't know. This is yours, though. To an extent. We kind of drive the conversation. You don't feel like you can speak your mind here?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I probably wouldn't have any guests for like a long time. Okay, do a minute. It would just be me talking. Do a minute.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
When have we ever let you down? I feel like we're very trustworthy. Wait, don't answer that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Spin me on your head like a street performer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
All the way down Main Street. Come on. What's the street in Charleston? King Street.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I know Charleston. It's called Chuck Tizzy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Will reads a famous German book in his free time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
That is not what an albatross looks like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
What if someone hunted it on accident? 75 now?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Charles II of England had a very, very bad day on this day. He had just lost the Battle of Worcester. Do they say Worcester in England or is it Worchester?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Country guys crack me up. Country girls shake it for me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Because of his hair? There's a multitude of reasons why I feel bad for him.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
I forgot the title of mine. I'll think of it on the spot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
When he did not pay for the fries, has a place in hell reserved for the sick and twisted.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Those are my favorite fries, the dark and soft ones.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
No, it's not burnt. It's dark brown and soggy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Usually he's there. You'll believe that he's there if you look a woman straight in the nipples.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Oh mein Gott, manchmal, wenn es in der Früh wirklich schön ist, sitze ich auf dem Fenster und vertrete, dass meine Freundin im Krieg ist. Und ich warte auf sie, um nach Hause zu kommen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Lauren, pull up Fluff Caddy. He's from Maine. Legend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Oh, yeah, no, I didn't shower from Friday morning until Sunday morning.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Unless you are too cozy in bed, then he should stay in bed and rub his feet together. Gotcha. Yep. Lauren, you do one. I don't have one. But you have to learn to do these. What if Will and I are both sick one day and you have to do all the drafts?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
But listen, yeah, listen to it on your way home, you'll jam out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Wir haben nicht gesprochen. Wir haben nicht gesprochen. Wir haben nicht gesprochen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
This episode comes out on Wednesday. Nope. Why would it not?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Okay, guys, have a great rest of your Monday. Have a great week and we will see you bright and early on Wednesday. We love you so much. Lauren, play that MF theme music, girl.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
No, I think I could have. But it's hilarious. What if cloning techniques come back and then you could clone the perfect golf caddy?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Tiger would blindly trust him. That's awesome.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Tiger Woods' Wife, the one that hit him with the golf club when she found out he was cheating, went to Rollins, lived on Lake Virginia, which is the lake that Rollins is on. And let me tell you,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to flirt with women at the bar
Lauren lives in a fridge inside a Clementine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Really? Carrying around the nuclear codes? What do you mean? Very basic Pong games I made in Java.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Es ist sehr steif und ich habe eine Ein-Speed-Bike, also kann ich die Räder nicht verändern. Also muss ich eine Menge Geschwindigkeit haben, um es aufzunehmen. Also bin ich auf der Strecke, mache die Runde, gehe voller Geschwindigkeit auf die Strecke, bin endlich auf und komme direkt vor unserer Büchse. Ich warte auf die Lichter.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
It was like a software company called Circle Dog and I guess it failed immediately. But they'd ordered as like for like a, like a, what do they call those? Like a, Das sind Events, wo alle Unternehmen ein kleines Boot haben. Ein Konferenz. Ein Tradeshow. Ja, ein Tradeshow. Ein Tradeshow. Wir hatten 5.000 Circle-Bog-Flashdrives. Wir hatten sie in unserem Haus.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Und es ist... Du wirst es aus deinem Haar und Eiern auswärmen. Das Wetter ist wahrscheinlich perfekt, oder?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ich glaube, ich habe einen Flaschgerät in der Schule mitgebracht. Aber du hattest Smart Kids. Wenn mein Vater einen Flaschgerät mitgebracht hätte, wäre es etwas Schreckliches. Ich war in der Computerwissenschaft. Das war mein Lieblingsfach in der Schule. In den Hälften der Schulen, in die ich eingeladen habe, habe ich Computerwissenschaften eingeladen. Oh, wow. Das ist verrückt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Das ist verrückt im Hintergrund. Du und ich hätten nicht zusammengekommen. Meine Mutter hat die... Ich kann mich nicht erinnern, wie es heißt. Es war wie ein Computer-Science-Programm, wie ein Intro-Ding, das vor der Schule passiert ist. Und meine Mutter hat mich einen Tag am Wochenende abgelassen. Es gab einen Tag, an dem sie in die Büro gehen musste, wie früh oder so.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Und das war der Tag, an dem sie mich abgelassen hat. Und ich dachte, es war nur ein ein Tag am Wochenende-Ding.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Und dieser Kerl auf einer motorisierten, einer dieser rentablen, motorisierten kleinen Bikes, mit seinem Kind drauf. Ich hasse diese Sachen. Nein, nein, du wirst, weil dieser Kerl ist ein Hero. Er ist da mit seinem kleinen Kind und zieht mich direkt nebenan. And I was like, hello? I took my headphones out. And he just pulls out of his wallet, doesn't even say anything.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Und meine Mutter war einfach so, es ist okay. Ja, ich habe AP Computer Science gemacht. Ich war super drauf. Weißt du, bei den AP-Examen, du hattest alles mit dem Handbuch. Es war ein Computer Science-Examen. 1-0. Ja, es war wie Java, also ein bisschen mehr, oder wie Python oder so. Aber es war wie, du hattest zu schreiben, System, dot, out, dot. Relatable.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Aber wenn du das alles auf dem Computer machst und dann die Tests hast, musst du Asterisk schreiben und so.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
My buddy Ian, God bless him, showed up to the SAT. We had like, they had like gone to like a party the night before or something and he showed up without a calculator and like the whole section of the math is calculator. And so then his parents made him retake it. And then he did the same thing. I was taking it with him the second time and he shows up and he's like, fuck.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Letton doesn't strike twice, I'm not gonna forget it tomorrow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
He wasn't like forcing that he was smart down your throat. I always thought those were the coolest guys. You know, Ryan got a 1580 on the SAT.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Wir hatten den Term falsch. Das ist lustig. Wir sind ziemlich nah dran. Wir sind wirklich fucking nah dran. Ich erinnere mich, dass Gravbongs in der Schule sehr populär waren. Ich war, als ich mit den älteren Leuten zu Hause war, Oh, nice, you guys got an anti-gravity bong. And they were like, what? I was like, it smokes you. Dude, we were ripping the AG last night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Out of his pocket, he pulls out my wallet and my AirPods case. And I was like, oh my god. Did I just drop those on the hill? He's like, no, you dropped them back there on the bike path. He's like, I've been chasing you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. And it tastes like real iced tea because guess what? It's made with real brewed tea. This stuff is delicious. I got me a little can of the peach. I got half and half. You got half and half. I feel like maybe I've said this before, but we were golfing today. Twisted Tea on the Golf Course.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
That is a 10 out of 10 combination right there. I had a barbecue. I stole a cooler from the office, which I don't really want to give back unless someone asks for it. But when I took the cooler, it was already full of Twi. So it was like perfect. So I just filled it up with the ice and it was great. A lot of people, I've been hearing whispers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
A lot of people think they know the best place to drink a Twi.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ah, I was asleep. Were you dreaming about twee? Dreaming about twee. Guys, grab a refreshing twisted tea today, cheers it, and when you cheers it, say, Will and Rusty sent me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ich bin kein Stoner, wie du. Die meisten Leute wissen, wenn du in Edibles bist, hast du diese definitiv. Sie sind großartig.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I was like, alright, I'm way higher than normal. Surely this is a higher dose. Everything is the exact same, except for the flavor.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I was like, oh my god, holy shit, thank you so much. Thank you. You know, like one of those... Did you have cash? Nein, ich hatte kein Geld, also konnte ich es nicht haben, aber auch wie du die Art und Weise ist, wenn jemand deine Wallet zurückgibt, gibst du ihnen, was in der Wallet war. Ich meine, ich hätte es gefordert, wenn ich etwas hatte, aber ich habe es auch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Das ist das, was die Kinder gemacht haben. Und dann haben wir einige dieser Delta-8-Gummis genommen, die er hatte. An diesem Punkt glaube ich nicht, dass wir wirklich... Zuerst einmal, Weed war legal, also der Fakt, dass Delta-8 verkauft wurde, fühlte sich wie... Er hat uns nicht gesagt, dass das... Es war verletzend. Ja, ich dachte, es war wie CBD oder so etwas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ich weiß nicht, was wir... Aber wir haben sie genommen und wir haben gemerkt, dass wir nicht viel Ducktape für Edward Fortyhands hatten. So we went to the liquor store and then we went to the hardware store.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I don't think that sounds grim at all. I think you need to look at this as like.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
And, but we took these like, we thought this would just kind of like hold us over until we got going. For the record. Es gibt nur eine Lösung. Es gibt nur eine Lösung. Wir wissen genau, wo es geht. Wir nehmen diese Delta-8-Gummis. Wir nehmen die 40er. Wir gehen in den Hardware-Store. Es beginnt alles zu schmerzen. Wir sind ein bisschen schmutzig.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Sie haben alle diese verschiedenen Farben. Und... Sie hatten nur die Farben, oder ich weiß nicht. Es wird nicht funktionieren. Es muss grün sein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Und in diesem Moment war das die lustigste Sache. Wir waren so, in welchem Weltraum ist pink so teuer? Oder ist es so, dass niemand es kauft? Also haben wir den pink gekauft.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
It was like a gentleman's game, where you're like, alright, I'm gonna trust you, you can't put it down. It's a gentleman's game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ich weiß nicht, ob ich dir eine Geschichte erzählt habe. Es war so, als wir zurückgekommen sind und in seinem Apartment gestanden sind, gab es eine Schuhe in der Halle. Es war ein Dienstagabend, aber wir sind nicht rausgegangen. Wir sind zurückgekommen und sind in seinem Apartment gestanden. In der Schuhe war ein Mann, ohne Schuhe, völlig schlau, sitzend aufrecht. Und eine Frau, völlig schlau,
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Es war das Seniorjahr, aber es war alles Dorms. Und diese Kinder sind in der Halle. Sie ist gepasst, sie ist gepasst, geplankt und wir sind so, das ist wirklich lustig. Wir gehen in seinen Raum, öffnen die Tür oder was auch immer. Wir sind da, spielen Mario Kart oder was auch immer. Und dann hören wir einen Knall auf die Tür. Und es ist die Frau, die gepasst wurde.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Und wir sind so, oh, hey, was ist los? Sie sagt nichts, wie tote Augen, einfach in die Tür geht, nimmt eine scharfe Linie, geht über uns beide und geht in sein Bad und lockt es. Und wir sind so, oh mein Gott, was zur Hölle tun wir? Und wir sind so, hi und was auch immer. Und wir sind so, hallo, können wir dir helfen? Die Lichter sind weg.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ja, wir sind so, hallo, die Lichter sind weg. Wir sind so, was? Hallo? Hi. Und sie ist da. Wir sind so, okay, ich weiß nicht, sollen wir jemanden anrufen? Vielleicht geben wir ihr einen Moment. All the dorms have the same layout, so if she was hammered, it would make sense that she knew where the bathroom was. And we're sitting there just like, alright, we'll just give her a minute.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Dieser Kerl war wie ein guter, wie es nicht war. Ja, also Lorenz, er war einfach ein guter Samariter. Das ist ja, das ist ein Schuss. Ich wäre so verdammt. Ja, Lorenz, nur damit du es verstehen kannst. Es wäre wie Geld ist wie Dollar. Cash is like dollars. George Washington, Ben Franklin.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
She walked in, took all her clothes off, walked out naked. It was the hardest either of us had ever laughed. But then we were like, this poor girl. And all her clothes and shoes were in his bathroom. And then we ended up matching her description to someone who lived on the hall. And we just put everything outside her door and never saw her again. It was pretty unbelievable.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I've never seen anything like it. Nein, du wirst mich nicht sexualisieren, diese schmutzige, schmutzige Frau, die in das falsche Wohnzimmer geraten ist. Was glaubst du, dass sie versucht hat? Sie war so, ich habe es gehört, ich habe das Ding auf dem Web gelesen. Das Planking-Ding? Ich glaube, das waren die schmutzigsten Menschen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
It was so long ago. Obviously, like, I'm sure, I definitely embellished, I don't know, I think that is more or less what happened, but I didn't mean to call the guy out. So Monty, we're good. Lauren, have you ever done anything like that to someone in this room?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
At Will's Killer Barbecue? Lauren didn't eat your burger, you're so dramatic. You could have gotten a burger.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Oh, you missed a lot. Seriously, like, what's the tea? Binder and Andrew are dating.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Oh, shit, yeah. His girlfriend hates it. But she's putting up with it. Love. Wait, what did Binder do? Binder went nuts, dude. Oh, she's sick. Will had a killer barbecue. We already talked about it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
This past day. The rest of today. Girl, what you been eating? I've walked past the girl.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Oh, we each had six hot dogs before 8.30 a.m. today. What? We did this golf video that ended up in us eating so, like, six hot dogs? I actually didn't think that sounded that bad. I didn't think it was going to be bad at all. And we, I thought I was going to throw up by the third one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Wir mussten um 6 Uhr gehen, Golf spielen, und jedes Mal, wenn wir einen Müll haben, mussten wir alle einen Hotdog essen. Oder einen Shot von Fireball. Aber es war nicht ein Shot von Fireball, sondern ein Wheel. Es war ein 80% Hotdog und ein 20% Fireball. Oh, da ist eine gute Idee für ein Sandwich. Außerdem habe ich mein ganzes Körper geschmissen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Nicht meine Beine, sondern mein ganzes oberes Körper. Mal sehen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
nice man and then my armpits are fully i'm not gonna take all my clothes off but my armpits are shaved for the first time i had a realization today i was like sure i'll shave my armpits for this it was for a video we were doing i was like sure i'll shave my armpits that didn't feel like a big deal because i was like i don't really care like whatever it'll grow back how long is it gonna take to grow back oh dude it's gonna be prickly tomorrow it's gonna be it's gonna be like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I've been waiting two weeks. Hast du etwas Sangria getrunken?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
To where it was? I think it grows a quarter inch a month.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I guess that's a point. Right? You have hairs down there that are this long. That's a year. Down there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Dead ass. One of my pees was longer than my pee pee. So that would take a year to grow. A three inch hair?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Is that crazy? There's no part of your body that grows like 600%. There's one. That's what I'm saying. That's crazy. Like if you just woke up and it was cold outside and your nose was like inside your body. Oh yeah, and my nose got fucked. Dylan Walker. Kannst du ihm hier ein Bild von ihm geben? Oh, er ist eigentlich auf diesem Shirt. Ja, gib ihm ein Bild von ihm hier mit X-Würfeln.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Oh, das weiße Sangria? Nein, es ist... Warte, warte, warte. Lass mich versuchen, es zu übersetzen. Es heißt Summer Red. Okay. Also, es ist... Oh, ja. Es ist roter Wein. Und ich habe gesagt, weiß.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Das ist Dylan Walker hier. Und jetzt gib ihm einen alten Western-Wanted-Sign. Für den Rekord, wahrscheinlich der schönste Mann, den ich je gesehen habe. Bis gestern. Ich war wirklich kalt und er hat gesagt, oh, keine Sorge, ich habe eine Jacket. Warte hier, ich bekomme sie für dich. Er kam in seinen Trailer, hat mir eine Jacket genommen. Du denkst wahrscheinlich, dass er ein guter Typ ist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Nein, es war ein Setup. Ich habe seinen Jacket angenommen. Der Zipper war ein bisschen kaputt, glaube ich. Also habe ich es mir über den Kopf gelegt und habe meinen Nase öffnet. Er ist ein edler Typ. Er hat einen Knife-Jacket. Er fühlte sich wirklich schlecht. Warum ist das sein Fehler? Außerdem hatte ich den Bär-Attack. Arman's dog bit me. Look. The dog's name is Bear.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Es ist jetzt zu weit weg. Echt? Zumindest zu weit weg. Ich habe ihn gehört, wie Yelp. Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja. Bitt me. He bit this leg first, I think, and then I went like, ah, and then he hit this one and broke skin with both teeth and it was like bleeding and shit. There was a family of Dobermans. But I'm fine, guys. Don't send me any money. I'm hero, but I'm fine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Und die hat mehrere Leute über mehrere Jahre getötet. Und sie mussten sie nur eins nach dem anderen aufsetzen, je nachdem, wann es passiert ist. Jesus. Ich hatte ein Kind, ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Putting a child down? You're saying, does the death penalty exist for children?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
This is true. 24, we're all the same age. We're all the same age, only for a short while. Lauren's birthday is in July. It's July 15th. That's Sean's birthday. It's 18th.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
28th. 28th. It's my parents' wedding anniversary. Yep. How do you know that? Because it's his parents... How do I know my parents' wedding anniversary? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
They love each other. They love each other? Because they always make out on it? What's my what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Somewhere in the Junes. There's no June 30th. I think she means July 2nd. I'm gaslighting her. It's June. I don't know. June 30th?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Playdate? Playdate. Playdate. Episode 106. And L-Dog is back in the studio. Lauren's back. And she decided she didn't want to live in Mexico anymore. Yep. She had a change of heart. She cancelled her work visa. And she's back forever. I was just thinking about this.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Wait, we're not moving on from the fact that you don't know... You say June, like June? Yep. Okay. That's fucking crazy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I never drank it, but my host mom would do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
You just got joomed. I worked at a college with a guy named Mike Jooms.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Not with you, because that makes it weird. Well, obviously not.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Man, do I love talking about this product. Guys, in the winter time it's easy to get away with just staying inside, stinking up everything. You know, you don't sweat as much, so maybe you don't stink quite as much. But the times have changed. It's getting hot outside. And now more than ever is when you need somebody to step in and make sure you ain't stinking up every place you in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I slapped on a couple wipes. I was smelling fresh as a baby's bottom. Best part is, it's not always the armpits that are stinking. Right. You can hit those things anywhere. Wait, yeah, Willie, don't your balls reek? Yeah, my balls reek. Or they used to reek. Well, they used to reek until I used Mando's deodorant wipes. I really do think that it's... They're...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
To have on hand is better than deodorant. It's like the feel of a wet wipe on the counter, but it's on your balls and your body. You know what I like? I throw them in my center console. Multiple times a week I will be driving somewhere and be like, oh my god, I forgot to put on deodorant. Bingo. Mando's Starter Pack is perfect for new customers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice, like the mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping. As a special offer to our listeners, new customers get $5 off a starter pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40% off your starter pack. Anora? Mit Maddie Mitchelson? Mikey Madison? Ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
You would like that. I bet your pervy ass would like that. Alright, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Alright, what were you doing at 11? I was almost here. I was like about to be like, hey, don't jump down and throw it. What were you doing at 1?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Yeah, I want to hear a story. There wasn't eight minutes in your day. I didn't watch it either, so I can't give a shit. You didn't watch it either. We were working. We were driving two hours home.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I click around for a little bit and then I usually make the clip. Hey, listen, you know, I support it. I don't think we work very hard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I don't care if, like, I don't care if, like, a literal sex worker is going to text me. I'm not going to say, watch it. Watching anything with sex on the plane is... Ass.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Why can't I come? It's like the crown royale of cruise ships.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I don't know about the pods. I don't think so. I don't think we're doing pods, but that would be cool if we could.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Was war so lustig daran? Ich weiß es nicht. Lern mal über unseren Freund. Bossy, Bossy-Girl. Bossy. Ich... Und andere... Ja, ich glaube, du hast meine Inflexion verändert. Ich weiß, ich weiß.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Was? Was? Erzähl uns über unseren Freund. Nein, nein, ich würde sagen, dass bei jeder anderen Firma, wenn ein Mitarbeiter sagt, also, was bist du, wie eine kleine bossige Frau in einer Beziehung, dann wirst du verabschiedet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
What did you just say? She's sugar mammering me tomorrow. Mammering? Did he say tomorrow twice in a row?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Nächstes Wochenende. Ich habe einen Ball mit dem Metzger. Oh mein Gott, hast du es getroffen? Oh, warte, Lauren. Die Ball-Lady hat es mir gegeben.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ich habe ein Ding jeden Wochenende. Warte, lass mich sehen, was es ist. Oh, es sagt, hab einen Blast mit Lauren. What the hell? All weekend?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Yeah. I mean, I'm having that Memorial Day Barbecue. Are you really? No. I'm not doing another barbecue.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
That's kind of actually sick. Can't have two jobs. If she's brave to the office, I think that's fine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
So you're a Knicks fan? I'm not a real big basketball fan, but if I had a team, yeah. Um, I'm gonna be there. I kind of want to lose this game, though, because I'm gonna be in New York on Friday night. So it'd be fun if they won it. I bet the city would be electric. Right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ate Nights in Kuala Lumpur. Playdate. And shout out Chloe Schindler for the adorable... I'm not wearing mine right now, but I have it. She sent us these little bracelets with her names and I was wearing mine yesterday during this Dollar Shave Club shoot. And there was a scene where I had to jump off three steps and go like... And on the first take I did it and it just went into the sky.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Es wird episch werden. Und ich bin wirklich, wirklich gespannt, auf dieser Reise mit all of you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Just a thought. If you're a Playmate at home... We can do a new segment. We're coming up with new segments. Don't worry. We're always in the lab. What if we do... I'm sorry. No, no, please. We have a segment where one of us has to put a... Something that makes our feet really hot or hurt or something. And then Lauren doesn't know which one of us has it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
And she has to try to figure out, based on the conversation, whose feet are getting torched.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Or that's an example. It could be like a thing up our ass. Yeah, like a vibrating butt plug. We have to be like... Ja, also kommentiert unten, wenn ihr das mögt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Dann depositiere du mindestens 10 Dollar und stelle deinen ersten Wagen auf jeden Spiel. Und du wirst bis zu 1.500 Dollar in Bonusbetten erhalten, wenn dein Betten verliert. Versuche einfach, den Bonus-Code Playdate zu nutzen, wenn du eingestellt wirst. Und vergesst nicht, wenn du noch nicht eingestellt bist für BetMGM, benutze den Bonus-Code Playdate und bekommst deinen ersten Betten-Offer heute.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Is it my pitch for a Brian joke? Is it Liz Wendon or Wedon? Wedding?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
She shit in the aisle? No, she was going like fucking one mile an hour. And it was like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
surely they told her to go that slow but i feel like kids it was like the opposite of what i was expecting usually kids get like nervous i thought she was like maybe rushed it it was like one step one step it's like all right get to the point yeah we're like all right dump them all out all right is he gonna say yes or no Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that would be fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Er wurde aufgeregt. Er hat einen 40-Jährigen aus Hongkong gesehen und er hat angefangen, eine Foto zu machen. Wo ist dieses Hostel? Kannst du dir eine Foto machen?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Wedding with steaks, where it's like... With steaks? Well, they usually use an option you can pick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
They don't know who it is. No, they don't know if they're going to say yes or no. That would be fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Barcelona. Warte, ich verstehe nicht, wie kannst du sie nicht schlafen sehen? Es war so, dass schlagartige Türen nicht aussehbar sind.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ich denke, es wäre wirklich schwer, so viele Leute, die Freunde sind, alle zu machen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I don't see hot. It's the cheerleader effect. Google the cheerleader effect, Lauren. Russell Wilson.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Name eine schlagartige Tür, die nicht aussehbar ist. Jack, denk an, wenn du... Oder wie ein verbranntes Glas. Yeah, but then they can still see, like, her, like, the silhouette of her. What is, what is your hyperfixation with?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Or Mark Sanchez. For you, Mark Sanchez. Mark Sanchez. I used to have a Mark Sanchez jersey. Google Mark Sanchez. I just want to look at his pretty face. Google Mark Sanchez shirtless, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
You do. He's like one of the best looking guys of all time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Oh, warte. Ist das das rote? Das ist mein liebster. Keine Sorge. Das ist das.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ich liebe es so viel. Nacho Cheese. Warum kann ich es eintreten? Nacho Cheese. Nacho Cheese. Bitte. Komm schon. Teile es mit mir.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
She knew your tummy didn't hurt anymore and she knew you were in Spain. Fun fact, the hot dogs made my tummy hurt again, but I'll be okay. Liz, I'll be good tomorrow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I bought this song at fucking 10,000 streams. I love it. And the one thing that's funny to me is like the artist can use that money to make more music. Das würde auf der anderen Seite bedeuten, dass wenn du viel Geld verkaufst, dann müssen sie dich auszahlen, was lustig ist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Okay, no one wants to do this game. I thought it would be fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I'm fucking working right now. Alright. What are you, nuts? Liz, I tried to make that a game. I'm sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
No. You ever had cream of wheat? That sucks. Pull up cream of wheat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Shrimp and grits? I don't like shrimp, I'm sorry. When's your birthday? July 28th. That was a pass, a new pass.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
That actually sounds nice. Du hast das ganze Ding gelesen und gedacht, das kann alles bedeuten. Also glaube ich, er ist geschlagen. Ich liebe das. Ich liebe Stomachschweine.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Was ist mit diesem Scheiß, Bruder? Ich habe Brot verpasst. Ich weiß nicht, wo wir in den Stripclub gehen. Das ist nicht gut. Das ist gut. Ich habe... Ich habe... eine kleine Schnauze aus einem Pasta-Disch mit Sausage. Pasta. Warum sagst du das so? Er ist ein Contrarian und er will, dass wir etwas sagen. Ich bin Clip-Farmer. Oder ein Farmer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Sausage-Schmuck? Verrückt, Alter. Warum hast du das... Ich habe es in meinem Friseur gespeichert für zwei Jahre.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ja, ich habe alles mitgebracht. In dem Fall, dass du einen Ravioli mit Sausage-Schmuck benötigst. Ja, Honigmustard. Warte, das klingt nicht gut, wenn es nicht gefroren ist. Ravioli with honey M? What? You ever eat like a waffle frozen?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ha, I need us to shoot with some pump in it. Alright, who wants to hear the best pitch you're gonna hear all year?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
They might get through the light and you don't get to. That's what happened to us today. Yeah, we actually were talking about that today.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
You pull that and it's a hand that just makes a peace sign. Thanks, brother. And then you let go and it goes back in the car. Ich finde das fantastisch. Wäre das nicht toll, wenn du jemanden mitmarschierst und es... Oder es könnte auch... Du kannst es selbst machen. Es ist wie eine Botschaft.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I think it's getting the pinky away without the ring finger. Can you do that? Not really. I love that. I saw a thing today that our buddy Matt Pollack directed for Dropout or whatever, I think. It's like these guys doing like... You know what I'm talking about?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Anyway, it was a guy pitching like a steering wheel that has like Since honk can mean a lot of different things, there's like different buttons that indicate different types of honks. And it was cracking me up because by the end it had like a bunch of buttons. But it's like the honk that's like to let someone know that the light's green.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
It's very silly. It was very, very, very silly. Throw me your fucking curveball, Willie. Oh, I forgot about my pitch. 400 bird funeral? Oh, I learned something. I thought this whole time you came up with horse boat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I don't even know what... So Willie has this thing where he's like... Es war wie ein Sketch, den ich damals geschrieben habe. Ist das wirklich aus dem Büro? Ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Oh mein Gott, danke Gott, dass wir das Sketch noch nie gemacht haben. Wir machen den ersten. Ein Sekunden.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Es ist wie ein Pitch-Sketch. Oh mein Gott, ich habe definitiv subkonsensuell... Ist das verrückt?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Es wird nie gemacht werden, aber es war wie ein Typ auf einem verlassenen Inseln, der einen Bunker findet, wie in Lost. Und er geht da rein und es gibt ein paar Computer. Und er fängt einen von ihnen an. Und er bekommt eine Verbindung. Und dann kippt es die CIA-Headquarters. Und sie sind so, holy shit. Das ist lustig. Alright, pitch me, brother. And then they leave him on the island.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
They come out with an excuse for them to be gone for a certain amount of time. And we just didn't do that, Lauren. Well, I did. I said she moved to Mexico. You know, on the Grace O'Malley episode? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Like this guy gets a computer and he has a chance to say like where he is and save me. And then he's googling this nonsensical mythical horse boat that I thought I had made up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
But I didn't. Yeah, I think I'm... Damn, now we can't do our ask me about... And, like, they're all, like, huddled around the computer in the headquarters, like... It's a cipher. It's a cipher. Like, go try to decipher it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Yeah, you could. Alright, anyway. I'm moving on to my pitch, which... Jesus Christ. Dude. That was me with my mouth. Why would you have heard it in the mic that loud if it was my butt hole? Well...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Of course, yeah. We farted all over yourself. Oh, this is good. French fry Lincoln Logs. French fries, awesome, kind of boring. Would like to build structure with them. Hard to maintain structure with their flimsy nature. French fry Lincoln Logs. They're shaped like Lincoln Logs. You can make a house, a village, a condo, a bird, a horse, a boat. You name it, you make it, you eat it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Offers off the table. Sorry. I'm sorry, but I need people who are fully bought into the idea. You like it? I feel like you would like to play with it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Yes. You build horses. Purses. Purses. That's what you're under. Jewelry. Lippenblasen. Lippenblasen. Lippenblasen. Lippenblasen. Lauren, das ist der berühmteste.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Sorry, this isn't showing me what I thought. Okay, so out of 10,065 people, guess how many died? It's struck by a fucking mind.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Isn't that fucking crazy? Yeah, that is insane. That sounds like an awful, awful way to go.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Alright, teach me something. Alright, this is, I got a Spain one for you. I was reading about the running of the bulls.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
See, Scott really wants to go. And I was like, alright, I would do that. But like, that sounds kind of like scary.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Okay, you first of all have to go through me, but okay. I've been texting Scott on the side.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I finally changed his name from Scott lives with Willie to Scott Seeger. Okay, if any of you text him again without going through me or at least running the text by me, I will single-handedly fuck your lives. Question. Can I take a timed photo squatting over the camera? Yes. Okay. He loves that shit. I'll keep him happy for a few weeks. Okay, sorry, continue. So, running the rules.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I was like, it seems like scary. He's like, nah, I'll be sick. And I was like, okay. And I looked it up, thinking like, alright, probably no one ever gets hurt. Every year between 50 and 100 people are injured. Wait, sorry, doing what? Die Rundung der Bolzen. Weil sie durch die Straßen laufen, oder? Ja. Du hast es gesehen, sie werden von den Bolzen übernommen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ich konnte es nicht glauben, wie in 2013 50 Leute in die Ambulanz genommen wurden. 15 Leute wurden getötet und Leute werden jedes Jahr gehorcht. Wie konsistenter. Warte, was ist gehorcht? Wie getroffen von dem Horn der Bolze und geöffnet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I don't understand how this still happens. Ich denke, du bist... Ich meine, wie die alte Sage geht, wenn du mit dem Bullen schaffst, kriegst du die Hörner. Ich verstehe komplett, warum es dich schmerzt. In meinem Kopf, sie... Sie legen jetzt Fenster auf oder so etwas.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
That's a good question. I think it's just they're scared of the bulls. No, no, it's just an accident that keeps happening. Yeah, they never planned it. Some like stupid farmhand that like... Pamplona. All righty. Pamplona Seine. It's like up by France. Pamplona Seine. Oh wait, what the hell? Um...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
You gotta pull that part out. Is this it? Yeah, that's right. Alright, do your worst, Willie. It's gonna be gnarly. And it's gonna be stinky. This is Unk. This is Electronicant678. And he's the... You know how we think we invented some cool phrases? Well, get ready to be blown away because he invented a bunch of phrases and he's finally taking credit for them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
That all along, who put that in the butter? It was Elektronikant. And it's the same guy who did, is that an AI dog? I'm just a regular guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Guck dir das Hintergrund an, es sieht aus wie ein Musikfestival aus. Ich glaube, sie feiern den neuen König.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ist das verdammt verrückt? Ja, aber das ist so... Ich muss wissen, was das ist. Spiel den mittleren Teil. Das klingt wie der Vatikan.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Wir sind so zurück. Katholizismus ist so zurück. Sind das nur all diese Priester? Nein, das sind alle Kardinals. Sie haben rote Hatte. Das bedeutet, sie sind Kardinal? Ja. Das ist verrückt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Let's do Marathon Signs. Alright, let's rip it. Let's go viral. Mind if I go viral?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
You know that Almost Friday guys were talking about us on their pod? That we clip farm? We have the best podcast formula where we do unscripted banter and then we clip farm for an hour.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
We got this idea from them. Ich weiß, ich glaube, es war nicht so. Ich sage, ich denke, das ist, ich denke, es wäre dumm, es nicht zu machen. Ja, ich denke, jeder, der versucht, den Podcast zu bauen. Ich will auch nicht, dass wir Klips von uns sprechen, weil dann kriegst du die Kommentare von, weil aus Kontext, ich glaube nicht, dass uns nur das Bantern so lustig ist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ich glaube, eine Geschichte aus Boston hat es eigentlich ziemlich gut gemacht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Sie stoppten Characters und verurteilen uns mit Clip-Farming. Aber... Sie sind nur Clip-Mining. Sie sind nur... Sie sind nur... Ass. Angus hat mich auch einen Tag nach meinem Geburtstag getextet. Glückwunsch. Du bist auf meinem Schild.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
These are marathon signs that don't exist. Stay still and do it again. Please. Please. These are marathon signs that don't exist. Start thinking of your Strava caption now. Alright, this one, you're dressed in a full Pamplona outfit. Where the hell are the bulls? Oh, that's good. On theme. Um... Crop dust the guy behind you. The Macy's parade sucks this year.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
This is gonna look killer on your hinge. Two part is a two part sign. One guy's sign says stop running. And the other sign says Simon says keep running. I like that a lot. Prank. Run! There are busty chicks at the finish line. That would work. That would work. Can you please hurry up so I can cross? I need to get to the hospital. My son is very sick. From some terminal illness.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Du denkst, du würdest das mit dem Buttplugin machen? Er ist... Für alle, die unser Audio hören, er ist jetzt... Blowing O's mit einem... Vibrating. Elfbar? Elfbar. Das ist ein Razz. Ich kann nicht mit der Technik aufhören. Das ist ein Razz. Sind die jetzt überall? Ich weiß es nicht. Sie sind überall.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I'm in a cloud. Oh, Lauren, put your shirt back on. Cloud nine. Will, stop getting so excited about it. What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Alright, go. These are Curb Your Enthusiasm plots that don't exist. Larry is ordering a pizza and the guy says 10 minutes for pickup. Sorry. Larry is ordering a pizza and the guy on the phone says 10 minutes for pickup or an hour for delivery. So he does pick up. And then when he gets to the place, the delivery guy is just sitting there. And then he makes a big whole stink.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I love it. I don't think he loved it, but I'm going to take it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Oh, yeah. I didn't realize she didn't know the bit, so I said that. And then she was like, Lauren, enjoy your new life in Mexico.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I love that. Thank you. I like that. Big stink. These suck. Do mine fucking suck?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Because he doesn't want her to know that he takes big stunky dumps. I like that. Uh... Larry's Uber driver pulls off the highway to get something to eat. And he's late. And he's pissed. Maybe it's the taxi driver, so the fare's going up. Lauren? Mm-hmm?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Because he wouldn't have been distracted if he didn't learn about the spot on his foot. I think what I'm missing is the second layer, where it all comes back. I think you did a good job of that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
So, appreciate you guys jamming out with me. By the time this episode comes out, we'll be at 10,000. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
He barely got any of the water in his mouth. Literally 60% of it went down his sweatshirt. You can actually see right here, it's about one drop. Play the clip. 60% of it went on my sweater. We'll put the clip here. If more than 10% of it went on my sweater, I will Venmo you a dollar. Deal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Alright, put a picture here of... Steed Bonnet. Steed Bonnet. Put a picture here of Will running away from the bulls. My tooth! Oh no!
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
He had the best life, he did the best stuff. He died of cancer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Yeah, I love it. We listened to it today. We did listen to it today. It was great. Alright, what are they commenting? Comment your favorite thing about Lauren's trip to Spain. Comment your favorite strip to pain. Great. Also comment...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Wir sind im Sonnenschein. Das wäre lustig, wenn wir jeden Tag Live-Podcasts machen würden.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ist das schrecklich? Wir machen das in der Mittelschule. Okay, an einer adulten Playground. An einer adulten Playground. Adult Playground? Warum ist da Alkohol in den Monkey Bars?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Comment a lie. We told them to comment a hundred things. Comment all of them. We need a clip farm. We're comment farming. We're comment maxing. Alright, we love you guys. Have a great rest of your Monday.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
This guy's about to jack off. Alright, we love you guys. Bye bye.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I think the best, the food obviously rocks, but I think the biggest, the great separator that puts, and this is true of maybe other cultures relative to American too, is just their sandwiches are 45 times better than our sandwiches. And it's mostly the bread. Wenn du ein Bocadillo, ein Sandwich bekommst, dann ist es wie ein verdammtes Brot. Wie ein Baguette-Type. Aber meistens ein bisschen dicker.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Und dann hat es gute Fleisch, wie Prosciutto und so. Wie ein Ham-Sandwich. Es ist wie dieses seltsame Ham, das aus dem Raum kam. Uns? Ja. Und unser Brot ist wie... Ich denke, einige Orte hier machen es sehr gut. 100%. But like our standard sandwich and their standard sandwich is like night and day. I think they care.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Es gibt keinen Markt für dreckiges Essen dort, weil ich denke, dass sie sich mehr darauf erinnern, was sie in ihren Körpern investieren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Wir wissen es nicht wirklich. Sie denken nicht darüber nach.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Aber ich glaube nicht, dass es eine deliberate Wahl ist. Ich denke, es ist nur ein Ergebnis eines Habits, wie in kulturellen Normen. Ja, ich meine, sie haben ein paar Tausend Jahre an uns gestartet. Ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Can I tell you the one thing that just happened before I forget it? I was just biking here. Isn't that insane? Yeah. No. And I was running a little behind, so I was hauling ass. Well, I also like to just haul ass. And I got my tunes in, I'm on the boardwalk, I'm flying on the bike path. Well done. Flying down the bike path.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
And then I have to gain like a ton of speed to get up the hill to our office. Explain to the people at home, like I walk up this hill. Yes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
I think I'm wearing a USA headband and a Terrell Pryor jersey. And let me tell you, buddy, you are filling out those khakis real nice. That is good. Those are all, you know, what's crazy about that? Pull that photo again. Why is everyone like 10 years older than you? Because I was fucking... I hadn't hit puberty yet, dude. But are those like kids your age? Yes. That's Enzo. He's from Brazil.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Yandi. He's from Indonesia. And Meredith is from Pennsylvania.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Oh, du bist wahrscheinlich direkt vor mir gestanden. Ich bin sicher, dass ich das gemacht habe. Es ist wie die Placidilla. Es ist wie dein Lanyard. Es sieht aus wie ein Flashdrive. Ist das ein Flashdrive?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
is that an AI dog?
Ich weiß nicht, ich war ein Kind. Es war 2015, und alle waren auf Flashdrives.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Not, I don't know. No, not at all. I can't, I don't know anything. You love touchdowns though, right? Love touchdowns. No, I mean, I, I did go to the Rose Bowl this year, like for Ohio State because my dad went there and I went to school an hour, like Dayton's like an hour away from Ohio State. So like throughout college, I would visit there a lot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
And like, I call myself an Ohio State fan, but I don't, I don't know. O-H. O-H. I was never, I don't know, growing up, because the Bears were always kind of bad, and so my parents were never really huge football fans. Did you play sports? Soccer. Nice. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Because they have to maintain like a certain weight. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
You know that fireball ad we did?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Liam, I think you guys had to do that. It's like a deal. Yeah, for fireball?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Well, they owe me a cake because BC lost.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Maybe in the past, but now I surround myself only with people I'm going to speak fondly of.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Oh. I don't know. Probably in second grade when I said this girl had bad style. Whoa. No. And I got sent to the principal's because she overheard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Well, they're joking, right? They have to like them.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
First pitch. Well, this is kind of a two-in-one. He gave two very brief ones. Should I wait for this fucking ambulance to go by?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
But not for me. Okay. James Travis J says... JT. So his first quick pitch is a funeral home that makes those wax sculptures of yourself at every stage of life so people can remember you as you were. And then his second one is a Tinder app that lets you match your hibachi group with other groups so you don't get stuck around that big girl with total duds. Wait.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Can you explain who she is for our listeners?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Yeah, that was great. Hit me. Great, great. Thank you. What was his name? Jay. Wait.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
All right. Next pitch is from Preston Benner. Preston Benner says. His name is Preston? Preston.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
He says, what's up Harry, Ron, and Hermione? What is the worst part about cleaning up around the house?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
What's the worst part about... Voldemort. You're Voldemort.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
What is the worst part about cleaning up around the house?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
What are you guys? Hufflepuff? What is it called? Hufflepuff?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Preston says, what's the worst part about cleaning up around the house?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
He says all the walking and bending over, of course. Yes. Introducing the HoverClean. The HoverClean, as I like to call it, is your standard fun hoverboard with a twist. It has attachable cleaning components that allow you to tidy up without touching a thing. Attachments include vacuum swiffers, mops, etc. Just drive over your floor and boom, clean.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
No more bending over or dealing with an annoying cord that keeps getting tangled. The battery in the HC powers the attachments too. When you're done, simply throw away the used parts or replace with new duster slash squeegee slash vacuum bag, etc. Hope you guys like the idea. Love the pod.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Well, that'd probably be shitty material.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Um, tiny, tiny mattress. I feel like this is a good pitch for like a baby room, but I don't think adults are going to want, it's probably going to be shitty, poorly made, not good, authentic material.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Storage. Them not getting smushed.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Like a Pringles can for hats. No.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
That's exactly what he's describing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Well, it's this. Thank you. For real.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
You're just going to bring that on your invitation? Should we do... Teach me something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I don't know. Because they hate it now. Apparently they hate it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Oh, this is the cutest guy I've ever seen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Wait, your high school is called Pop Warner?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Oh. Every time you've said that, I'm like, what is he?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
That wasn't what I was talking about. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Liam, are you watching White Lotus?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Still, I'm not. I'm behind on episode three. You told me they do that. I just need to catch up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
They're fine. They could be on the streets, not at a happy home.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
That's me. Mia sends me a million TikToks, and I'm like, dude, you're stressing me out.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
What's your group chat name? Did you have a good one? Because you asked them, so I didn't know if you had a good one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Oh, that's sixth grade. You've had your homies. You said aww to Muff Divers? No, not to the name, just to the fact that you guys have had your groups in sixth grade.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
My guy and girl group shot from high school? Oh, sorry.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
No, I was just going to say that my guy and girl group chat from high school is just buttholes. Buttholes? Why are you guys all so vulgar? I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
We're having like three different conversations right now.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
At 5.55 p.m., that's like some weird...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I realize that we haven't acknowledged that when this episode comes out, it is St. Patrick's Day.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Has your girlfriend asked you to be her Patrick yet? I'm going to steal leprechauns for some reason.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
I already said I'm stealing a leprechaun's. Oh, nice.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
We played that in my dream last night. I just remembered. Who won? I don't know. What are you going to do? Tonight, me and me are just going to have a movie night and stay in. Tomorrow, I have a birthday dinner at Russell Bach, and then we're going to go out after. Happy birthday. Not mine. My friend Nardo. What are you going to watch tonight? What'd he say?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Don't know. Do you have any recs?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
Liam, do you want to plug anything in before? Tell people where to find you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
liam cullagh fought his guidance counselor
We'll put the links in the bio or in the description.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer, redefining the party landscape. Playdate, we're here with our good buddy, Ryan Michaud. Michaud? Michaud. Michaud. Ooh, 0 for 2.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
This podcast is brought to you by Triple. Triple is the original high seltzer with three milligrams of THC and just 15 to 20 calories. Triple offers a social buzz similar to that of your favorite hard seltzer, light on calories, high on life. It's all natural, gluten-free, and again, just 15 to 20 calories.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
mother effing calories i like to enjoy my triple in a multitude of ways i like to crack open one take out of my plane and flight simulator play with that maybe go pet some dogs hang out have a second one hell maybe even crack a third uh they're low cal i feel like we don't talk about and i know i say it every week or twice a week however often i say it 15 to 20 calories is insane that's like
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
It will be available in Illinois, Arizona and Ohio. By the end of the year, nationally, it is currently available online. To get it now, go to drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE to get 10% off your order. That's drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE for 10% off that order. Triple, redefining the party landscape. Let's get back into the episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
So they do that. I think communication is key. Someone who can express how they're feeling. Personally, I... Haven't done as much therapy as others, but in the short stints that I've had, I've realized how helpful it can be. Lauren, you've done therapy. How beneficial was it for you?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Visit BetterHelp.com slash PD to get 10% off your first month.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Let's get back into the episode. Lauren, how are you doing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Playdate episode 80. We have a lovely episode for you guys today. We're going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches. Do you want to do the permitting division of the building department? Nope. No permitting division. No, I'll do it. I'll do it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
that i'm going to tell you guys about not the one we did last night i've been getting really into solving mysteries and then we're going to do everyone's favorite segment this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rock today and then we're going to do names we would use if we started a band followed by ways to start a best man speech
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Like, have you ever had to deal with that? Yeah, I was going to say you never asked me. Donalyn?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Like, is this going to be worth it? Did you eat it? I ate the whole thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
You should put them on a necklace. Do you still have them?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I like the splash of lemon. I've got that in my hand. It's vodka and lemon.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Head to rickyspirits.com to find out where you can get Ricky near you. Follow at friday.beers and at rickyspirits to stay up to date with upcoming Ricky contests and giveaways. Let's get back into the episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Yeah, I don't think he was going. Was he a Russian baseball player?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I wouldn't lie to you. This guy rocks. This guy rocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I had one more thing I wanted to talk about.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Excuse me, can you tell me what you heard about propane? Somebody told me that it burns good, but I think that's insane. Because nothing could compare to my good wood fire.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
So go ahead and burn my wood. Use it to heat your home. It'll fit right in your pipe. Burn all through. Then all you gotta do is pick up your own. And I got a rick of wood that you could acquire. Because nothing can compare to that good wood fire.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
That's the craziest part. So much to unpack here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
The grocery store, every time he goes into the grocery store, they're like, are you going to eat it or are you going to do that strange thing with it?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
Would you rather do ways to start a best man speech first or names we'd use if we started a band?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I like that. Yeah. Um, I honestly think it was sad when you're, or wait, how was I going to say this? I honestly thought it was sad when you asked me to be your best man. Cause we're not even that good of friends. That would ruin me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
When I met Eric, he was knee deep in a hooker in Bangkok, but I am very happy to see him settling down.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
I forgot to ride F5th, so I'm going to come up with one right now. Come back to me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho
The Lakers got Luka. The Mavericks got Anthony Davis. And NBC got Danny McBride. All right. Have a great rest of your Monday. Have a great Tuesday. And we will see you guys on Wednesday for our Wednesday episode.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eat THREE lunches a day to lose weight
Don't cry. You're about to make me cry. Don't cry. Pull it out. I ain't forget about you. I want to see some more runs. I love you. I'm crying. Let me see. Let me see you post up with it. How you gonna knock it out the bar?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eat THREE lunches a day to lose weight
Right to his dad. I've got it, baby. Yeah. Ist das nicht großartig?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
You said you were going to Desert Five.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Yeah. So I did go to memory and I remember what my friends say makes one of us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Yeah, I just remember we were saying how it was funny that we haven't been on one.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Like, when you were leaving at the end, or?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Maybe, but, like... Yeah, or they're just celebrating it. If, like, some of them work in film, maybe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I had something I wanted to tell you. What is going on? Oh, your guys' spring break is coming up.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
From that night that you guys were there?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
All right, now put a picture of Will wearing a big, huge, long beard and a cowboy hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Can I go pee while you do it? There's something else I'll say. I decided that I need to go shopping this week because I am bored of all my clothes. I don't know if this is... I feel like you're wearing all new clothes today. Well, now I live with my best friend and my closet has grown exponentially. I get to wear her stuff.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
These are her shoes and this is her sweater. Sweater. All right.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I want to dress to the nines or something.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Okay. Oh, yeah. Joe Jonas reposted one of our TikToks, so we were pretty stoked about that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
um yes do you do the roadmap yeah how'd it go awesome it was no it was the best one yet really oh and i missed it i love those okay you think you're pretty without any all right pitches first pitch is from christine christine clay she says hi lauren will and rusty long time playmate here but knew i couldn't submit a lackluster pitch and i'm almost positive this hasn't been done well done what is the worst part about meeting up with your buddies at the bar
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Okay. She says, since you're all arriving at varying times, someone might have had a big meal first, someone might have had nothing to eat, and somebody might already be three drinks in. Essentially, no one is at the same amount of drunk. I come to you with the ultimate solution to this issue, introducing On My Level.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
This is an app that would take the BACs of you and a friend and then show you either what the more sober one would need to drink to catch up on to the drunker or how much water or food the drunk one would need to come down to the level of the more sober friend.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
You would simply need the fingerprint of each participant placed on the screen and your BAC would immediately be scanned in a menu selection of what to order would appear. For example, if you showed up a little late, then scanned yourself and your buddy who's been there for two hours, you likely would get told you need a Long Island iced tea or something of the sort. I hope this makes sense.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Conan O'Brien said that a billion people were watching.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
He's like the worst guy ever. He's like throwing his body into you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I missed that. I thought... I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I thought he was just running through the bar.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
No, no, no. But then like belly flopping or something. I don't know.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Wait, that is actually hilarious. That's unbelievable.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Yeah. Okay. That was a great pitch though, Christine. Thank you. I also think, oh, this is what I was thinking about earlier.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
A little, and a little add on to this would be, because since it was saying like, all right, so if you got there and then you realize that you are way too drunk, it could maybe be connected to restaurants in the area and it'll immediately like send whatever food you need like to the restaurant. I feel like that would be fun.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Next pitch is from Aiden. Nice. Aiden intro. AI. He says, hello, good and the fellas. Nice. All right. This is a fresh idea, so it isn't fully fleshed out. Sandwich chip. It is a chip that's roughly the size of sandwich bread like other lunch meats. It also have to be packaged in a similar container to lunch meats as to not break pre sandwich. I don't know what that means.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Thinking there could be all sorts of flavors and types. Kettle chip, then potato, Dorito, etc. You can pick how many you want on your sandwich depending on your crunch preference. Also, maybe mix and match chip flavors. The only caveat I can think of right now is do I really want the chip in my sandwich to be all one? Would it crack weird upon biting? Is there something appealing?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
That's what I thought too. Is there something appealing about loose chips and not knowing how much crunch will be in the next bite? Not sure. All to be studied during R&D. Thanks, guys. New playmate and having a great time.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Are there little guys in the back? I can't tell. Like in the car. In the car? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I like this, but I think I would rather be a Master of None.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
No, no, I'm sorry. It was Justin Bieber's birthday pose.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I don't think I... I can't think of anything for you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I do. I literally have a coffee right here.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I don't know. It's just funny. Keep going.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
oh no i don't hate it i'm just laughing because uh it's ass no i don't know you and you in this in the pot of coffee is just funny to me it's so it feels so old-timey because i i don't you love a steaming hot cup of joe
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I was just going to say, wait, what's his name?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I think we see this all over LA constantly. I'm not really even surprised by it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Is that a hot take? I don't like the pants and the belt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I like the shirt and the pants and the beanie, but he needs longer pants and no belt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
And the shirt needs to not be tucked in.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
We're getting up there. Speaking of Meryl Streep, I watched Devil Wears Prada on Saturday night.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I feel like our generation is in agreement with that though and like we're not going to.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
He has rocks in his pocket and he's going home. You're going to like this one. I'm excited. Wait, whoops. Not me reading Brian's messages.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Yeah. I don't... I don't know how I feel about this. And I like monkey.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
How is he even jumping around like that?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Alright. Wait, I want to keep watching.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Who's babysitting? Who's babysitting? Mr. Ryan. Mr. Jenkins. No, they're like fifth grade and second, third, third grade. But they're so cute. And the little boy is just like, he loves me so much. And it's sweet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Well, what kind of bird would you be if you could be a bird?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Jack Whitbird would you? Rusty Whitbird. Bald eagle.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
And when I'm putting him to bed, he'll be like, what?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
All right. Oh, wait. Will, I didn't even tell you. Tell me. I DMed Joe and he responded.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
But Liam's on, so we might have to kick him off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Dude, that's crazy that you haven't even... I don't even know what it is, honestly.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I can't believe you haven't seen this. Whenever I see clips of Camp Rock, though, it makes me sad because Demi was like coked out during all these movies.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Good. Move that bus. I'm going to steal Miranda Priestly's personality from Devil Wears Prada. That's Meryl Streep's character because she's just like a boss woman, and she's kind of mean in it. Honestly, her character's mean, but she gets shit done, and I think she's just a savage.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Not even close. Fuck you. Shannon Sharp. Do you guys know any 86-year-olds?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
What's her face from Princess Diaries? I forgot her name. Julie Andrews.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Is that Kurt? Yes. Wait, comment down below. What are they commenting?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Well, we also haven't had... Joe hasn't been there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
I thought you almost ate shit that one time. I did.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we turned ourselves in to the police
Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to go tonight.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
Look at my hands. Damn, I'm white as fuck. Like cry when I'm eating Takis white. Like summer when it's not even summer white. Like short shorts cross country runner white. Shit, I'm so goddamn white that I could blend into the snow. But the other snowflake kids I know toss around words like stones, the kind that break bones.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
A, B, C, D, and N words get thrown as if those expressions are their own and I feel alone. I watch my white teachers tornado my best friend into a downward spiral, the racism reigning in their classrooms dampening his delicate dreams. So we turn to the drugs, and I haven't seen them in so long that it seems like forever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder
But most of the time, I make light about being white, but not about my color's impact on others, isolated from our brothers and sisters, entitlement and titles like ma'am and mister, stepping on our equals, and it's making our feet blister while alabaster activists do a lot more acting than action.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
she kissed the waiter on our date
Yes, normal. Just normal. Just normal. Just normal. Nein, nein, nicht die Gesichter machen. Nicht die Gesichter machen, okay? Du willst nur straight sein. Deine Hände müssen ein bisschen straight sein. Es muss straight sein, sonst wird es nicht gut.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
And we got a little carried away. And I remember just searching. We should have cut it off after like big boobs. Yeah. We went one step too far.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
New way to jump. What do you do when you're out of here, this room?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Like when the DUI people have to drive? Yeah. I got hit by a woman who was out on bail for a fourth DUI. Karen, if you're out there, fuck you.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I used to shotgun sprites to get ready for college when I was a kid.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
And he fell on his tailbone and he cried and he had to transfer schools because everyone... Made fun of him? Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I can't tell you who it is, but she's coming on soon. It's a big get for us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
You were like, I left your New Yorker on your step, and there's a guy like, hey, I'm walking here. Should we roadmap it up?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
My teacher used to sing this song in Spanish at us. She'd go... It was like... Whatever.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
But it was very, like, rhymey, and I didn't figure it out until a while later. It was like... That was, like, the punchline. And I remember being like, that... If this was an English teacher, that wouldn't be acceptable.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I love it, and here's why. I've been slowly building my room into a cool space, and I'm glad people are starting to put some respect on my name.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I'm going to tell Will and Lauren that I got a big part in a movie. this could be a prank of the century should we prank lauren oh yeah let's tell her we're both uh fucking oh we should be fucking when she comes in um let's tell lauren that our our grandpa's dated in high school tell lauren you were grown in a lab tell her you were grown in a petri dish no why what she's not gonna believe that
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I think we should tell her. You haven't brushed your teeth in 14 days.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Oh, you got pranked. You got pranked. You wouldn't have noticed for hours. You wouldn't have noticed? That's terrifying, Lauren.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Bus three. How's that have 16,000 likes? Yeah. Because he's viral.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I mean that's yeah what there were some other steps but they wouldn't let him marry the love of his life because he was too poor and back then that was the only way he could go make his money yeah What are you? You're a rich parent.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
If you are attracted to women, comment where you would take Lauren on a date. And if you're attracted to men, comment where you would take Will and I on a date. And trust me, we date as a team.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
Yeah. Okay, I guess I'm being... I guess I'm fucking crazy. I want to... Here's one thing.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
She's never done anything to make me jealous. I don't know if she's gotten jealous of me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I said I'd be shocked if I died without kissing a man. Well, we've kissed. We never... Like, passionately. Like, make out with a man.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
I think dating a woman would be sick. You are. I know. It's awesome. No, but I want her to start throwing shit around the room, like shatter vases over my head and yell at me. Throw forks and knives at you? Throw forks and knives at me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i'm asexual?
He did a cover of a song. I can't remember what it was called, but it was about how his girlfriend fucks all of his friends.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Okay, man, yeah, we get it. You had to buy it. I understand.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Warte, du kanntest den Jungen, der I-Beer inventiert hat?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Wirst du jemals verheiratet? Ja, wahrscheinlich. Nicht so bald. Ich weiß nicht. Ich glaube, es ist nicht auf den Karten.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Mein Vater war 35, als er verheiratet wurde. Aber meine Mutter war 28. 35 feels like the right... That's legal, right? I think so. They told me it was legal. They said it was totally above board.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
But then she was like, maybe you should be going out and meet people. Parents can't pick a lane. They're either upset that you're partying so much or they're sad for you because you're not going out on a Friday and Saturday. Oh, you should be going on dates. Thank you. You're still talking to that girl. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich lebe etwa vier Blöcke weg, ich kann es hören. Es ist brutal. Aber faszinierend. Aber ja, ich werde bald auf ein Date gehen. Oh ja, Mann. Was meinst du? Was bedeutet das? Ich weiß es nicht. Es bedeutet nichts. Es ist... Ja, nein. Ich denke, es ist die Mentalität. Ich habe heute ein Like auf Hinge gesendet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ja. Schön. Schön. Ja, ja, ja. Das ist gut. Wie geht es, Will? Danke, Leute. Ja, das ist großartig. Nein. Das ist egal. Er ist ein Persönlicher. Er ist ein Persönlicher. Er hat es immer gewesen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
No, not really on the apps. In-person guy? In-person guy. I mean, I've been on the apps. I... I just find the dates awkward. I feel and I'm not good at like I'm not good at like starting the conversation over text.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
You know what? I actually do think that, uh, the kind of like the meanings for the apps differ from country to country. I think that like In America, Hinge is like the kind of more like, this is where you meet somebody that you're going to go on a date with. It's not just like, I think we think Tinder is hooking up. Yeah. I think in like the UK, it's the other way around. Really?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I think, or they have like more like, the more respectable one is like Bumble.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
And South America, I don't think there even is Hinge. And I think it's like. El Hinge. I think it's El Hinge.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Wir sind auf dem Bild. Es ist nur der Bild. Der Bild-Bild-Bild stoppt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich fühle mich wie auf Feuer. Wir können das nicht machen. Nein, ich verspreche es. Ich meine, wir können es versuchen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Oh, sagst du, dass... It was like a random person behind, like film. Are you saying that we saw that somebody was filming all of us and in that we saw another person filming us? No, somehow I have the like original. Well, then it must have been one of my friends.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
He's like trying to save our family from falling into debt. Wait, have you guys seen... Did I show you the video of the guy screaming? Like, no, no. That's what I picture your dad being like. We have a segment called This Guy Rocks that I didn't tell you about. That's the guy I'm nominating. What is going on?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I actually think I'm like the last of your closer friends to be the second guest. Timer, also, ja, das schmerzt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Wir hätten nichts gesagt. Er hätte etwas wirklich seltsames gemacht. Oh mein Gott.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Er macht einen wirklich, wirklich guten Job.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Das ist ein großer Fehl bei diesem Alter. Ja. Acht Stühle. Ja. Das ist großartig. Es war großartig.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Es war wirklich gut. Ich bin fast fertig. Wie viele Lego-Sets denkst du, dass du jetzt hast? In total. Über 20 wahrscheinlich.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Hast du eine neue Wasserbottel? Oh ja, ich habe eine neue Wasserbottel. Für die Zuhörer, die es nicht sehen können. Es ist schlagartig. Meine Mutter hat sie für mich gekauft. Ja, also meine Leben sind gerade echt großartig. Das ist es. Das ist die Wasserbottel.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
It was also the day that Trump got shot and we were discussing that.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I would collapse it for you guys now, but there's water in it. But my mom just said, oh, I got it. There's a gift in the mail for you. I've never asked for a water bottle or anything like this before. And yeah, I opened the mail and this little thing was in there and it collapses. And yeah, so again, that's pretty much all that's been going on in my life. Things are good in Chester's.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Die Antwort darauf ist, wo auch immer du willst. Wo auch immer du willst.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ja, das ist ziemlich cool. Aber neben dem habe ich... Oh, ich bin wieder auf Tennis zurückgekommen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
We were discussing that as you were crossing the intersection.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich bin wieder auf Tennis zurückgekommen, weil das einzige Exercise, das ich mache, ist, dass ich renne. Und ich schwimme ein bisschen, aber ich versuche... Sie sind beide ein bisschen furchtbar, also möchte ich etwas machen, wo es ein Spiel ist und ich mit jemandem spiele und Tennis ist der einzige Sport, den ich wirklich... Und jetzt hast du alle drei für ein Triathlon.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Tennis, schwimmen... Und rennen. Und rennen. Du musst ein 6-Set-Spiel am Ende spielen. Hast du jemals im Ozean geschwommen? Nein, aber ich lebe direkt neben dem Ozean und ich fühle mich, als hätte ich die Proximität des Ozeans komplett verpasst, weil ich nicht im Wasser schwimme. Aber gleichzeitig fühlt sich das Venice-Wasser nicht so sauber an.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich meine, das klingt nicht richtig zu mir, aber ich weiß nicht, ich bin kein Experte an diesem Thema.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ja, kleine Fische sind cool. Ich kann surfen. Ich bin nicht sehr gut, aber ich kann surfen. Und ich habe es schon seit vier Jahren gemacht, aber ich bin immer noch verärgert. Sobald ich rauskomme, wo ich den Boden nicht spüren kann, bin ich sehr, sehr, ich weiß nicht, verärgert. Ja. Besonders, wenn es dreckiger Wasser ist und ich nichts sehen kann. Verrückt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Es ist, aber seltsam, dass es Teil der Freude ist. für mich und vielleicht auch für viele, die surfen. Ja, es ist eine seltsame, massakistische Freude auf eine Art und Weise.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Dolphine sind cool. Aber ich habe nie einen Schark gesehen. Nicht, dass ich ihn kenne.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Yeah, that sucks. Did I ever tell you guys a story about the... the scuba diver off the coast of Perth, like Western Australia, Perth. So this like group of like scuba divers went scuba diving 10 miles off the coast of, or 10, 15 miles off the coast of
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Perth to see like this reef that was out there and everyone surfaced after like an hour they got back on the boat and drove back and like once they got back they realized that they hadn't they'd miscounted the headcount when everyone came back up there was still a guy out there Und er ist etwa 15 Meilen von der Küste. Aber er kann nur noch die Küste sehen, also fängt er an, dorthin zu schwimmen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Und so, wie es ihm gefällt, weil er sicher auf der Fläche war, aber so, wie es ihm gefällt, in etwa zehn Minuten beginnt ein Tiger-Schark, ihn zu folgen. Und er muss nach hinten schwimmen, die Scharke zu sehen, aber er muss seinen Kopf über die Oberfläche drücken, um sicherzustellen, dass er noch nach Land geht. Und es hat ihn etwa sechs Stunden gedauert. Und die Scharke... Nein, nein, nein.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Sie haben es gemacht, aber er hat bereits angefangen zu schwimmen. Er ist weg. Sie können ihn nicht finden. Er ist bereits... taking it upon himself to be like, I have to get back before it gets dark. And he, for like six hours, is just like...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
watching the shark come close to him back away come close back away like circle him fully uh and it doesn't do anything he gets all the way to shore but for six hours he thinks he's gonna get like mauled to death tiger sharks are like the ones that like like yeah they're very aggressive we'll like try and fuck a human up like most are like curious but it's not they're not like actively pursuing like i think tiger sharks are ones that like don't care yeah it feels like a like a 20 27 hours
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Das klingt so schlecht. Ich kann mir nicht vorstellen, dass es einen schlechten Weg gibt, um zu sterben, als das Wasser auszudrehen, bis dein Körper weg ist. Ich denke, das ist wahrscheinlich so. In der Ozean, nicht wissend, wie in den Wägen. Arrows. Arrows? Ja. Wie wenn du von Arrows geschossen wirst. Oh, ja, Arrows wären schlecht. Ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
We as in like the book club that we're not a part of, but some of our other co-workers are.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
This is the one that you guys do on company time while the rest of us are working, correct? The one on Thursdays at 10, when we're supposed to be at 10. Du gehst offsite und sprichst über ein Buch. Ich weiß nicht, worüber du sprichst. Du, der Chef der Produktion, der Chef unserer Finanzen, wirklich wichtige Leute, mit denen wir sprechen müssen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Das ist das Buchclub, worüber du sprichst, oder? Ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ja, ich meine, das ist verrückt, aber ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Also müssen sie... Ich glaube, es gibt kleine Bots, die jetzt Essen versorgen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Die Koko. Die Koko. Die Koko. Die Koko. Die Koko. Die Koko. Die Koko. Die Koko. It almost seemed like, have you told this story before on the podcast? Yeah, we did. It almost seemed as if she was hired by some law firm just to sit at that intersection and wait for any kind of collision and make a huge deal.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Du hast keine Rum. Ich glaube, das ist alles, was du hattest. Das ist alles, was diese Leute haben. Lass uns ehrlich sein. Du nimmst ihre Rum weg. Es wird sehr schnell depressiv. Sie würden schneller fliegen, als du sie nimmst.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I was like, wait, hold on a second, you used my car.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I was so excited to hear the rest of the story. I was excited to see how you're going to handle the situation.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Oh Gott. Ist das schrecklich? Das ist eigentlich, ich meine, wie sein Leben verbrannt ist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Well, you can't stay at that school. No, yeah, she can, she can, I think she'll be fine. She can move on and be fine. Like, she can, she can escape that story. The family, the ones who are part of the family.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich dachte, die ganze Sache mit dem Serven war, dass die spannende Teil davon ist, dass du ihn aufschlagen musst, um ihn zu finden.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I mean, yeah. Bad publicity, you can get fired for that. If it brings attention to your company in a bad way. You got something to say? Yeah, it's... Oh, God. You Snapchat as well. That's insane. He works at Commercia.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I'm gonna go to town on the messenger later. I mean, in a way, like, if they did get back together, that's almost like a happier ending than like... True love prevails. Yeah, like, I don't know what makes me sadder.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
That would be insane. Yeah, I know. I agree. We're normal guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
No, it doesn't matter how good he is. He doesn't have the legacy or he hasn't been around. Jeff Probst is the best.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Mark L. Wahlberg. Dude, Jeff Probst has been the host of Survivor since 2001.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Is it the one where he's watching his girlfriend have sex under the blanket? Yeah, I've seen it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Yeah, it didn't even seem like that could air on television.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Oh, warte. Oh, warte. Also es ist nicht wie ein Referenz zu Inigo Montoya.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich denke, ich habe noch einen gesehen, wo es die gleiche Show war. Können wir das schauen, Lauren?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I wanna see you collapse on the ground.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I don't think you have to be, dude. He could be yelling his own name, like, you idiot. Like, why do you put yourself through this? Oh, wait. Yeah. This is... Perfect. Wow, it's been wiped off the face of the internet. Wow.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Also ist das nicht üblich auf dem Show, dass sie Sex haben? Ja, das ist ein guter Punkt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
The cool element of the game would be like some sort of like challenge every episode where like somebody like wins like a. A shield or an immunity idol. Where they have like five minutes. The cameras can't be on them for five minutes. They can do whatever they want. You just see someone grab. The audience sees. They have immunity from what the other house can see.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Warum würden sie dich nicht an Punkt A oder B töten? Warum würden sie dich nicht irgendwo zwischen den beiden töten? Das klingt wie ein echtes Verbrechen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
He's been on the show twice. I can't keep up with all the... Akronyms or initialisms.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Oh, number 84, Antonio Brown. R.I.P. Wait, what? How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got? Nice. And now do Antonio Brown. Oh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Oh, wirklich? Bin ich verurteilt, wenn ich falsch bin? Ja. Ich dachte, so. High-Stakes-Game. Das ist, warum ich hier kommen mag. Natürlich bin ich. Sie halten mich an meinen Beinen. Lorne Michaels.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ja, ich dachte, du würdest es. Ja, es ist ein Killer. Er ist drin. Er ist drin.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Wow, yeah. You should have started this earlier. That's a lot of stuff. Some of them are quick.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I didn't know about this part. They didn't prep me well enough. I asked them what they wanted. They gave me two assignments and neither of them were this. I'll just chime in where I see fit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
So it's a red... Wait, what is it? So it's a red... He painted the Red Sox logo. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Red is like, yeah, it's misleading for traffic. Das ist gut, das ist gut. Willst du es machen? Nein, du hast es. Ist es eine Welt, in der wir es tagteamen können? Oder wäre das zu verwirklichend? Ich bringe meinen Partner mit.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Willst du es machen? Ja, klar. Ich sage, hey, Bob.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Yeah, me too. Maybe you can try calling me at the end of the episode. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Sie nennen mich verrückt. Ich fühle mich, als ob sie das bereits machen. Wirklich? Ja, ich weiß. Es macht dich krank, nicht wahr? Ich fühle mich, als ob die Telefone bereits... In meiner Fotos-App sind bereits gebrochene Alben von bestimmten Leuten. Oh, ja. Ich fühle mich, als ob sie deine Gesichter sofort registrieren und alle um dich herum.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Wie würde das helfen, deine Freundin in einem Konzert zu finden?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Yeah. And like something that like Maybe you can like, if it's for like the singles or meeting like single people, would there be like a profile attached so you see the person? Or would it just be like walk 12 steps to your right and there's a single person of the opposite sex? If that's what you're into. Like, hello. Yeah.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Like, are you the, is it just a total surprise when you get there? Oh, like you want a picture. I want a picture. You want to know if they're beat or not? What the hell? Whoa, man. No, I want to know if they're hot or not. Hallo? Hallo?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
We've been reviewing your payment history and are pleased to inform you... So the Red Sox Circle... And I'm joking. It's a robot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich meine, ja. Ich meine, von der Triple R. Nein, aber ich fühle mich, was, ich denke, was Rusty versucht zu sagen, ist, dass es ein Element von Scham sein sollte. Und du solltest schämt werden, wenn du es nicht machst. Du solltest, du solltest verurteilt werden. Er sieht schämend aus. Ich weiß. Hey, was ist los, Mann? Was ist passiert? Ich habe nur versucht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich weiß, ich habe dich zurückgehalten.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
You guys didn't tell me Crocodile Tears was part of a program. Love Elton John. You guys both were tearing up there. Pretty good, right? Crocodile tears. New segment. Where you make your host feel horrible. I make my host feel horrible every weekend. Not host, sorry, guest.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Was ist das Schlimmste an Comforters? dass man die Duvetkante in die Körner zieht. Was ist das Schlimmste, weil das das Schlimmste ist? Oh, sie sind leicht schmutzig. Ein Wort?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Okay, es ist anders. Es ist anders. Okay, ich mag es. Jetzt, dass du es anders sagst, bin ich interessiert.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich denke, mit einem Schlafzimmer kannst du es auch unzippen und es wird einfach ein Blanket werden. Entschuldigung, warte, nein, das ist kein Schlafzimmer überhaupt. Okay, ja, das ist gut.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Also, der Auto selbst würde eigentlich niemals drehen müssen, richtig?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Cool, mein ist nicht an einem Anglein. Du bist einfach tot.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Die Räder haben einen vollen 360-Axis.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Yeah, no, it's incredibly dangerous. You have to get a whole new license for this kind of car. You can't drive this car with a normal license.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
And if you're stuck in traffic, these wheels, correct me if I'm wrong, these wheels also, they have like poles that can extend up and you can go over other cars.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ja. Ein Flugzeug. Wann war das? Ein Flugzeug. Die Show The Jetsons. In welchem Jahr ist das basiert? Ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Oh, ich weiß es nicht. Ja, schau dir das an.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
There's a real possibility that that's... I mean, I think we can get there. I think we can get to flying cars by 2062. Yeah, yeah. With AI, anything's possible. Yeah. That's it. Das war zu nahe. Wie kriegst du das?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Wie kriegst du das? Wie kriegst du das? Wie kriegst du das? Wie kriegst du das?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Fair enough. That guy rocks. Wait, that guy fucking rocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Chester, show us who rocks, man. This guy rocks. He needs no introduction.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Do you want to give an explanation for the audience? Yes, so for the listeners, this is a, I don't know who this guy is, but it's a piece of voyeurism. He's filming his dad frustrated with his TiVo or something. Something on TV. He's lost something on the TV and his dad's very upset about it. And he's filming from like the other room. I don't think, his dad does not know he's filming.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Vielleicht hat er es gedreht, als er den Superball nicht sehen konnte. Und er hat es gedreht und wollte es am nächsten Tag sehen. Mein Vater macht das immer mit Sport.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
How do videos like this even gain traction? 60,000 likes. Oh, that's crazy. That guy rocks. That guy rocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I do. You told me to listen to every episode. I do, but like... Have you ever watched an episode of Planet?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Yeah, I watched the whole episode. I like the clips. I'm more of a clips guy.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Das ist großartig. Das ist wirklich cool.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Um derjenige zu sein, der mit einer Phrase gearbeitet hat, die eine der am meisten genannten Phrasen in der englischen Sprache ist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Wer weiß, sind wir sicher, dass er vielleicht von jemand anderem gehört hat? Ja, ja, ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
No, he read it in a dictionary. Sorry, he read it in a dictionary.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
When's the last time you guys had your hands on a dictionary?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
It's kind of like an almost Friday Universe joke there.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
And I feel like Dan... Oh, maybe that was... It would have been you and me.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
He always says hello. He always offers like a free shot. It was definitely through him. If there were stockings for us, it was...
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Also hatten wir definitiv Stockings da. Weil es war wie Weihnachten und wir sind weg. Vielleicht sollten wir Stockings an unserem Ort hängen. Und sie kommen nie. Und dann fühlen wir sie schlecht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Die Aussen sind ein Mischwisch-Bund. Mischwisch. Mischwisch. Mischwisch. Ja. Also, das war lustig. Das war toll, ja. Das war eine tolle Geschichte. Danke.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Nice, man. Elvis. Elvis? Elvis. Elvis Prevli. I don't have anything to teach, guys. I'm sorry. What's up? No, you told me that word earlier. Tell me about that word. Oh, surreptitious. To do surreptitiously. I got a script and he was like, what's the word I'm looking for?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Yeah, it could cause more confusion. To do something like secretly. To do something surreptitiously. Secretly. There you go. Surreptitious. Yeah. Wow, great.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Oh, my up first? Okay, yeah. These are the Tipsy Gypsies. Eleven belligerent peddlers from the north of England who really know their way around a pitch. Now, quick warning, these guys are known for foul play and trickery. For instance, when the ball's in their possession, they'll often hide it under a big cup and shift it around a couple times and make the opposition guess where the ball is.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Vielleicht willst du es spielen. Oder sie spielen nicht halbzeit. Voll 90 Minuten. Voll 90 Minuten auf einer Seite.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Alright, I got Holmes and Watson FC. Every single guy on the team is named either Holmes or Watson. It's incredibly confusing for the opposition and even more so for the spectators. That's great. And Watson to Watson to Holmes to Holmes to Holmes to Holmes. And back to Holmes.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Es ist einfach so, dass sie sich zurückgezogen haben. Wow, great. Alright, I got the Vatican... We're going international. I got the Vatican Vagabonds. A cohort of rogue cardinals who have been excommunicated from the church for having doubts. They now wander the earth in search of meaning, but have found solace and purpose in soccer.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Und dann hast du den letzten Moment verabschiedet und gehst mit deinen Freunden nach Hause. Ich schätze, ich schätze, dass Dan einfach die Bar spätabschließt. Jede Nacht. Und ich werde sagen, nein, sie kommen, sie kommen. Sie werden hier sein. Wie, es ist okay, Dan, wir müssen die Bar schließen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
These poor souls may be unsure about the next life, but let me tell you, they are certain as hell about the beautiful game.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Das ist wirklich gut. Ich mag es, wenn du mit den Szenen viel spielst. Ja. Okay, noch ein internationales Team. Los Vegetales. Das ist das erste allhandicapte La Liga-Team, das für die Champions League qualifiziert. Verstehe diese Jungs nicht. Sie werden dich dafür bezahlen. Sie sind wie Scheiße.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Das könnte nicht sein, dass er den Cut macht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Es ist Januar 8. Und er ist so, komm schon, wir lassen sie eine Woche mehr. Eine Woche mehr. Sie kommen. Sie reisen viel. Sie sind beschäftigt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I might as well read them out. The Ho Chi Minh Tigers. A group of ex-Viet Cong soldiers turned certified ballers. Have you ever seen the movie Shaolin Soccer? Okay, well, have you ever played Mario Strikers? Okay, well, these guys can literally jump 20 feet in the air and charge up their shots. Seven defenders have died just trying to block their bicycle kicks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Okay, it's carnage when you play these guys.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ja, genau. Also du hast ihn gesehen. Und dann habe ich auch Jude Bellingham gesehen, weil es klingt wie eine Stadt in England. Oh, das ist wahr. Ich bin Jude Bellingham. Ich bin Jude Bellingham.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
So you know when you're like going out for the school play and you really want to be in the cast, but you're not confident in your audition. So for good luck, you break your own leg so that it's in a cast. Well, that's why I think we should start saying break a leg when one of our buddies is going out for a big role. What are you doing? What? Break a leg. Weil das Bein in einem Cast endet.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Nicht mehr so oft, aber ich habe die Eltern immer verabschiedet. Mein Vater, ich habe nur gesagt, wir müssen nach Fort Lauderdale in ein paar Wochen für den Frühstück gehen. Ich habe das gehört. Das ist ziemlich verrückt. Ihr werdet Jello-Schnitte machen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Und dann machen sie den Cast. Ich habe das einfach gemacht. Oh mein Gott. Ich habe es einfach gemacht.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich habe noch zwei. Nein, wir haben alle drei.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Das macht Sinn. Weißt du, was auch Sinn macht? Weißt du, wenn dein Junge überall Serien spült und du verdammt verdammt über ihn bist? Es gibt verdammt viel Milch überall. Es ist im Ruck, es ist in deinen Jeansen, es ist verdammt überall. Es ist ein verdammter Schmerz und du bist so verdammt wütend, dass du anfängst zu weinen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Das ist der Grund, warum wir sagen sollten, dass du weinst über verdammtes Milch, wenn jemand wirklich wütend ist über etwas. Was denkst du? Du weinst über gespürtes Milch, weil du so verrückt bist, dass du weinst. Weil dein Junge überall gespürtes Serien hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Du hättest mein Hero gewesen. Ich sehe nicht, was da los ist.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Alright, you guys are upset about the other two. I understand. I don't know why, but this one is definitely original. I'd be shocked if it wasn't. So you know when you're in the forest and you're picking berries out of a berry bush? Yes, obviously. Right. Well, not all of those berries are going to be edible, right? Some of them are going to be poisonous. So why take the risk?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Especially when you know there's a perfectly good beetroot on the other side of the bush. That's why I think we should start saying there's a beet around the bush when someone's taking unnecessary risks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Yeah, it's an original take on your idea that you guys have assigned me twice now. You guys couldn't even come up with a new fucking idea. Because you crushed it last time. Well, I just told you that. Ich denke auch, wenn das zusammengeklebt wird, wird es viral werden. Du bist willkommen. Wahrscheinlich. Ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
In dem Moment war es einer der coolsten Dinge, die ich je gesehen habe.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ähm, aber ja, sorry, ich habe nur ein bisschen Anti-Bit gemacht. Nein, das war gut.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich dachte, es war... Nein, denn du warst in einer Leg-Line. Ich habe es heute angeschaut, aber es war ein Cast, weil... Oh, nein, Entschuldigung. Es war eine Leg-Line für ein Spiel, was bedeutet, dass die Leg-Line die Unterstudie für Rollen war. Also, wenn du eine Leg-Line brachst, war das ein Begriff, den sie benutzt haben, wenn die Unterstudie aufhören musste. Also, du hattest die große Rolle?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich glaube, ja. Aber es hat etwas mit Leg-Linen zu tun. Aber ja, mein Vater hat mir das Cast-Tool vorgestellt. Ist das, warum es Cast-Tool heißt? Und ich dachte mir, das klingt wie ein guter Grund, warum, aber ich glaube, dass die Worte länger vorhanden sind, als die Kasten. Das ist interessant.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Is the Bacardi party what I think it's gonna be?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Russland. Ich werde Elon Musks Sohn-Personalität stehlen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich fühle mich einfach, als wäre dieser Typ auf der Welt. Er ist acht, oder? Ja. Ja.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Honestly, hey, just we're posting, this will come out in March, so you may already know, but yeah, we're posting YouTube videos every week in perpetuity. So, and watch out for the how-to videos that Willie here is helping me write and hopefully star in a couple, but yeah. That's all I got on my end. Lovely.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Go Ho Chi Minh Tigers. Go Ho Chi Minh Tigers.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Es sind ihr zwei, Liam und Billy. Billy ist verrückt. Er wird in den Himmel gehen. Er wird krank sehen. Sein Körper wird verrückt sehen.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Bist du sicher, dass du der haarige Kerl bist? Ich bin nicht mal, ja, ich glaube, du bist wie ein haariger Individuum. Er ist ein Bär. Okay, ja, ich meine, aber ich habe nie gedacht, dass du wie, oh, er ist wie mehr haarig als am meisten.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
I was just at a bar with you in Nashville where you took your shirt off singing karaoke in front of like 100 people.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
That sounds familiar. Yeah, Scribblenauts.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Okay, you put me on the spot. I don't know that many things. The car.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Air Ride. Game Boys are great. I was a big... I remember on the school bus, I used to pride myself at being very good at Monkey Ball. Someone was just talking about me. On like that iPod Touch. Like when they first... Like the first like... Es war das erste Spiel auf dem iPod Touch, iPhone, wo du dich zerstörst. Vielleicht war es nicht das erste, weil Doodle Jump das gemacht hat.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Aber dieser Monkey Ball war 3D. Und ich habe immer gesagt, dass ich mit den coolen Mädchen auf dem Bus bin. Ich werde diese Level von Monkey Ball für dich gewinnen. Was ist Monkey Ball? Also habe ich meinen Weg auf die coole Seite des Buses gemacht. Mit meiner Präsenz und Monkey Ball.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Ich habe es noch nie gehört, aber ich habe es noch nie gespielt.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
rusty faces a lawsuit w/ chet collins
Nein, nein, nein, das ist wie der originelle Monkey Ball. Es basiert auf einem Nintendo 64-Spiel, ich möchte sagen. Vor deinem Zeitpunkt. Ja, ich habe keine Ahnung, was das ist. Das klingt wahrscheinlich wie Rosetta Stone, ihr Jungs. Ich hatte das für Spanisch.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Es ist ich, General Wolfie. Wieder! Doing the most stupidest bear ever. Here's Baby Husky. Baby Husky is over there on the couch. Hi. And the only one who cannot be here tonight is Eric. Delta. Eric aka Delta Wolf. AKA Delta aka Midnight couldn't be here tonight because his ride unfortunately came and got him early so he's not here for the challenge. Stop it, you make me laugh.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
That's the point, Beta. Okay, sorry Alpha.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
You like them? Yeah, their foot's in pain. She can't walk. So she can't take part because her foot's in pain. I was triple dog dared. By Colin Montel himself. By a buddy of mine named Colin Montel, who works with me at Texas Roadhouse. He's a pain in the butt. I was dared to literally do... This is excruciating. The video is like about to end. I am doing a Red Hot Original
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Franks and I am doing Texas Pete Hot Sauce. Look at the baby bottle on the table. I don't wanna die here. I have too much to live for, damn it. Okay, just do the challenge, you goofball. Well, without further ado. Three, two, one. This is gonna burn. Do it. Oh, and it's one drop of each one. Do it. Do it. Scaredy cat. I'm scared. How did you find this? Look at his face. Look at his damn face.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
Colin, will you see this? Hot. Do you want a drink? Colin.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
I didn't realize he has the same fucking strength as me. And I'm sorry for my girl. Come on, baby. Come on, my baby.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
we found the most insane super bowl prop bets
You should know your brother's strong. You know that, right?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Twisted Tea is the perfect beverage to keep the good times going all day long, whether you're hanging out at a friend's house, at a bar, or on a weekend getaway, or just looking to let loose.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
We're on the same flight. Will and I are going to the Bahamas tomorrow. Bahama. Bahama. Bahama Mama.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I tried to bring one back. I was trying to do a good thing. Sorry, what were you saying?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
I hope it doesn't go into the moon and crash. I would love if it went to the moon.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
That's fun. That's a fun fact. Interesting. Interessante.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
what do you got i got the polo i don't have the what this one's not my size but i just wanted to show people because it's one of my one of my faves love that it's very soft but it's thin you know when you're wearing like a sweater or fabric shirt you're like this is too hot this is perth and it's so soft and i like the way it looks on my body if you guys want to grab some you can get you can get your true classic at target costco or head
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
well every part of your body can be dirty at some point I know but I'm saying like I'm not out washing my knees but they're more exposed than my privates are tucked in my boxers away from all the germs yeah but it's all like the sweat and the particles and shit you guys started too quickly I was requesting my roommates for wifi bill
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Two months. All right, we got a beautiful episode for you guys today. We're going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches. Then we're going to do everyone's favorite segment, the permitting division of the building department.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Then we got everyone's favorite segment, Teach Me Something. Followed by, This guy rocks, this guy rocks, this guy rocks today. Hey, hey, I said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
And then Phineas and Ferb episodes that don't exist. And then we'll wrap up with Rusty's song of the day. Should we just get the permanent division of the building department out of the way so no one's stressed out?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
If you send us anything, we will open it.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Yeah, please don't bomb or anthrax us.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
What were you going to say, Laura?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
It was everything but the jacket.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Alright, should we do everyone's favorite segment, This Guy Rocks? Or everyone's favorite segment, Teach Me Something?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
He's like... He would maul your face off.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
That's Lauren after a big night of drinking. She goes, where's the Chili's breakfast?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
All right, Lauren, I'm going to airdrop you my This Guy Rocks.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
This guy rocks today. Hey, hey, I said to Lauren, turn your airdrop on so I can send you my video. Triple dipper. Oh, actually, I had that recently. It was so horrible. What?
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
oh my god that's like remember that guy that me and a grade saw in boston on one of those things it's like a bike but it was a two bite we'll put a video of it right here two bikes stacked on top of each other and it was just like a thingamabob it wasn't like a when did we see that year and a half ago oh yeah it was awesome penny farting i want to buy one of these wait i wonder how much wait this isn't the same that that's we have one somewhere whatever happened to ours
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
That's how I would quit to my boss.
Will & Rusty's Playdate
i’m about to party on you (Lauren’s Version)
Arsad. Arsad. Come on. All right. Let's see what we've been jamming out to these days. Oh, yeah.