Find your forever cookware @hexclad and get 10% off at hexclad.com/WAI! #hexcladpartner #sponsoredMaddy shares her raw and honest story about her battle with alcohol addiction—how it started, the struggles she faced, and the turning point that led her to recovery. For years, she used alcohol to cope with stress, pain, and life’s challenges, not realizing how much it was taking from her. The road to sobriety wasn’t easy, but through support, self-discovery, and resilience, she found her way back to herself.Links: https://smartrecovery.orgSMART Recovery is an evidenced-informed recovery method grounded in Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), that supports people with substance dependencies or problem behaviors to:-Build and maintain motivation-Cope with urges and cravings-Manage thoughts, feelings and behaviors-Live a balanced lifeIf you have a unique story you'd like to share on the podcast, please fill out this form: https://forms.gle/ZiHgdoK4PLRAddiB9or send an email to [email protected] Inquiries please contact: [email protected]
Chapter 1: How did Maddie's struggle with alcohol begin?
I'm Maddie, and I'm an alcoholic. I started drinking whenever I was 14 years old, and I didn't really get addicted right at 14. I wasn't like, yeah, this is awesome. In fact, I got really sick. I was mixing Jose Cuervo with Tecate beer, and we drank that all night. I woke up throwing up on the floor on a towel, and an upperclassman was helping me. It was a guy.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and I knew of him, but like, I didn't really, like I knew his name and I woke up and I was throwing up on the towel cause I had thrown up so much in the trash can and he did everything for me. Like he took care of me. I was very fortunate. Um, I don't know why he took care of me. I don't know.
really what you know provoked him to do that but I thank him and I ended up um dating him later on but so quick question for you I already have a question so you said that you started drinking at 14 were you in high school yeah I just I
went to high school so you just got into high school and then it was just like your normal average like partying right kind of thing yeah that's how it started out as okay totally so was that situation that you were just talking about or that incidence was that the first time that you drank or was that just one of the times that was the first time I drank and I actually got drunk so like I had like
Snuck a Four Loko and like pretended to like drink it in my friend's closet like six months prior to that. So I had like dabbled in drinking, but I really wasn't. like fully enthralled with it by any means. The only reason I went to that party was because I was becoming friends with all the upperclassmen. And I also had a boyfriend at the time. Okay.
But he was way into sports and, you know, like doing something with his life. And I just was like, you know, F it, I'm 14. I don't fucking care. Yeah. So he was not at the party. So that was kind of a rough conversation to have. afterwards, too, of him, you know, being like, what happened? And me being like, I don't know, but, you know... Drew took care of me. Yeah.
And so that's kind of like my first big time drinking, getting sick. And then the next day I was supposed to work as a lifeguard at the like family owned run water park in our hometown. And I did not. I didn't make it. No, ma'am. Yeah. My parents really didn't punish me because my dad is also an alcoholic as well. Did you see a lot of that growing up? Yes and no.
So like whenever I was young, my dad drank non-alcoholic beer. And so like we knew growing up, you know, daddy had a problem. So that's why, you know, he has to drink non-alcoholic beer now because he can't really have the alcoholic beer. But then, you know, later on into, you know, once we started growing up, he started drinking regular beer, not non-alcoholic beer. And my mom, love her.
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Chapter 2: What were Maddie's early experiences with alcohol and its consequences?
So I woke up in the hospital and I found out what, you know, everything I'd done. And the nurse is the one who told me, like not the police officer. And there was a little like yellow ticket paper for your DWI, like sitting on the side, like on top of all my stuff. And, um, my clothes are wet. Like I was still in the clothes from the night before. Um, and I just called my boyfriend at the time.
I was like, can you please come get me? Like, I didn't really know what was going on. Also my BAC for that one was a 0.28. Um, Um, and 0.07 is legal limit, you know, uh, 0.3, they say you are dealing with, uh, toxicity to death. Um, so I was, you know, very intoxicated. I didn't really know. I knew the severity of everything whenever I woke up, but I didn't I don't know.
I feel like I was still drunk. I, and this is not me making excuses. It was just like such a surreal thing, like waking up and finding out all of that stuff. So my boyfriend picked me up and he also was at work at the time, like working a day job. And I was like, Hey, pick me up from the hospital. I just got a DUI. Um, So that all went down.
And also, I had agreed to work a private event for that bar that I was working at. So I was supposed to work at a golf course that morning at 730 in the morning. Obviously, I did not make it to that. So whenever I finally got my phone all charged up, people were like, where are you at? You're supposed to be working this golf event. So that was just even more added anxiety.
I was like, oh my God, like I don't know what I did. How am I gonna move on from this? Luckily in the service industry, a lot of other people have DUIs and have messed up just like you. So I had this friend I was working with and she gave me the contact information to a lawyer that she had used. And she said, don't worry, girl, I drove into a house. And I was like, what?
And she was like, yeah, I drove into a house. And the people were not home. But she had driven into the portion of the house that was the nursery and stuff.
Mm hmm.
And so that's what she had driven into. And that was her DWI story. So like, as soon as I heard that, I was like, OK, I didn't drive into. Yeah, I didn't drive into a nursery. So like, I'm still doing OK. No, babe, you drove the wrong way down a major highway like that. The clues were there. I just was in denial. So I got without attorney.
And since I was so young, since I was 19 and whenever I got sentenced, I was finally 21. I think that's the reason they took it so easy on me. Because I only got this thing called labor detail. And you basically go and check into this facility. And then they take you out in groups like vans. And we're all inmates. We're all there to serve our community service, if you will say.
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Chapter 3: How did Maddie's family background influence her drinking habits?
Yeah. Okay. And her name is Bonnie. And she messaged me and she was like, hey, girl, you want a big girl job? And I was like, yes, absolutely. Like, please save me. Like, I'm working at Green Gator. Like, I'm tortured. Yeah. And she was like, OK, cool. You know, we're going to go meet at Spex. And that's a big liquor company for Texas. And I was like, OK, cool. And I didn't know what I was doing.
All I knew was that I could get out of the service industry and here was my chance. To really make something of myself. Like, I didn't care how I was getting it. I didn't care what I was doing. I didn't care if I was working in a warehouse. I was like, finally, some health insurance and something to keep me on my shit.
Yeah.
Because I also respected the hell out of Bonnie. Bonnie is the one who taught me how to bartend. Bonnie is the one who... I roomed with whenever I was on those trips to do speed rack. Bonnie is the one who helped me get all those private events outside of the ranch, making extra money. You know, she really took me under her wing and she really saw so much potential in me.
And I still, I just light up when I talk about her. I love her so much. Yeah. So she messaged me and then I went and interviewed at Specs and I was like, you know, this is what I'm doing. I'm working, you know, bartending, blah, blah, blah. She was like, okay, well, you'll be a sales rep here. And I was like, okay. And then I started and everything was going good.
Like I, my drinking wasn't under control, but it was under control enough to where I would just save getting sick for those three days for the weekend. So like by Friday, I would kind of be like, I'm going to fucking throw up all weekend. But again, I was trying to make it work. I was slowly trying to get out of my alcoholism. But... It's hard to do on your own. Yeah. I like to. Yeah. And then...
I don't know. Again, this is so not confusing to me, but this is all so much for me to talk about because, again, there was not a traumatic event. Like, nothing happened for me to be like, oh, I'm going to get out of my fucking mind tonight because this person touched me or, you know, hurt me or whatever. Nothing like that happened. So, yeah. I started to slack off at the job.
And that is not like me. And body knows that's not like me. If you've heard my story this whole time.
You've always had good work ethic.
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