Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! Our first caller is afraid a conspiracy theorist is going to ruin her sister's wedding. Our second caller wants her boyfriend to care about her feelings. And, our third caller is struggling to connect with her teenage son. “Has your boyfriend ever experienced whiskey d*ck?." Listen to Humble Brag with Cynthia Bailey and Crystal Kung Minkoff every Monday starting October 21st! Available wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@humblebragpod https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/humble-brag-with-crystal-and-cynthia/id1774286896 https://open.spotify.com/show/4NWA8LBk15l2u5tNQqDcOO?si=c03a23d537f94735 Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [email protected] to be a part of our Monday episodes. To Order Nick’s Book Go To: https://www.viallfiles.com If you would like to get some texting advice, send an email to [email protected] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on this podcast please email: [email protected] or go to: https://advertising.libsyn.com/theviallfiles THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Quip - Free your mouth today and save 20% sitewide, plus a FREE travel case and countertop stand at https://getquip.com/nick Wayfair - Give your home the refresh it needs with Wayfair. Head to https://wayfair.com right now. Cymbiotika - Go to https://cymbiotika.com/viall for 20% off + free shipping. Timestamps: (00:00) - Intro (01:58) - Caller One (22:38) - Caller Two (01:31:10) - Caller Three Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @justinkaphillips @dereklanerussell
Chapter 1: How do I handle a conspiracy theorist at my sister's wedding?
Good. Hi, I'm Megan. I'm 34 and I'm afraid a conspiracy theorist is going to ruin my sister's wedding.
How is a conspiracy theorist going to ruin your sister's wedding?
So the conspiracy theorist is my husband's grandfather. So this is my husband's sister. She's getting married to her partner of 10 plus years later this month.
So it's the bride's grandfather.
Yes, it's the bride's grandfather, yes.
Okay, okay. Grandpa, papa.
Good old grandpa.
Papa.
She wanted our advice on whether to uninvite him because they've already RSVP'd, yes.
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Chapter 2: Should I uninvite my grandfather from the wedding to avoid drama?
That's a fair question. But like, it's not about swapping roles like this is like, do you think I'm only worth having sex? You need to understand if some of the things he said he believes and if he's sorry, does he think that you deserve to be treated that way? Like, I understand the disconnect between like you being depressed and not having a sex drive and the pressures of you not seeing him.
And I can see that he handled that in a bad way without thinking he's a bad guy. Right. Right. Right. And when he is considerate, don't push back. If your boyfriend is kind, if he reaches out, if he's nice to you, if he gives you that emotional love, you can receive it. Just receive it. Don't reject it.
You know, that doesn't mean he's out of the clear, you know, because all you know, it's like two days of him being nice. It's just a step in the right direction. But like, don't do it for the tit for tat, but we need to find out what he really believes at first.
Right. And that's what I told him. I said, I definitely don't want you to feel like, like you said, tit for tat. It's like, this is me being scared of like, I don't know if who you have been acting like is who you are or if, you know, that was a lapse in character. And obviously I want to give you the opportunity to show up for me how you say that you're going to now. But I'm scared.
I don't know what to believe or how long this possible nice act is going to last. So it's scary for me to people.
Well, I empathize with your fears. But I will say, if you want to be in this relationship, you have to be in this relationship. And if you break up with him today, your heart's going to be broken. And if you decide not to break up with him and he...
decides to start being more affectionate and more consideration, does some of the things that you want him to do, and you receive it, and you start believing in him that things get better, yeah, I don't know, nine months, things could go to the shitter. We can't predict the future.
And that's no different than you break up with him, you date another guy in a week, and you start dating him, and you believe in him, and then he... Love is risky. You got to take risks. But if you're going to be in this relationship, be your best self. Don't do the tit for tat. He might break your heart. I don't know.
But you're just going to have to risk that if you want to be in this relationship. That being said, you still have to hold him accountable for when he does and says some of this crazy shit that suggests that maybe he is not the person he led himself to believe. And you need to get a clear... If you get off the call You're going to have to wait to listen to it. He told me to say that.
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