Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! Our first caller is a 31 year old virgin, but just wants a girlfriend. Our second caller kissed her guy best friend on NYE and now has feelings for him. And, our third caller is wondering if she’s physically attracted to her boyfriend. “Get yourself out there, challenge yourself." Listen to Humble Brag with Cynthia Bailey and Crystal Kung Minkoff every Monday starting October 21st! Available wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@humblebragpod https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/humble-brag-with-crystal-and-cynthia/id1774286896 https://open.spotify.com/show/4NWA8LBk15l2u5tNQqDcOO?si=c03a23d537f94735 Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [email protected] to be a part of our Monday episodes. To Order Nick’s Book Go To: https://www.viallfiles.com If you would like to get some texting advice, send an email to [email protected] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Hero Bread - Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to https://hero.co and use code VIALL at checkout. Grammarly - Get more done with Grammarly. Download Grammarly for FREE at https://www.grammarly.com/podcast MasterClass - Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at https://www.MasterClass.com/nick Article - Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit https://www.Article.com/viall and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout Timestamps: (00:13) - Intro (03:58) - Caller One - Sensitive Content (42:54) - Caller Two (01:18:07) - Caller Three Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @justinkaphillips @dereklanerussell
Chapter 1: What challenges does John face in dating?
Okay. All right. So you want to have a girlfriend and eventually you hope that leads to maybe just losing your V card, so to speak.
Yeah.
Okay. And how much dating, like what does your dating life look like these days?
um so i'm on all the dating apps um because i'm kind of introverted so i don't really get out much to date i probably go on a day like every one two maybe three months okay but the problem is it never makes it past the first date and i never do anything on the first day like not even a kiss or anything okay you mentioned you're a little introverted like yeah what do you think your biggest challenges are when it comes to the dates that you go on or just getting dates
So I'm kind of shy. I feel like I'm kind of awkward. I don't really take the initiative and let them know I'm interested. And I don't really flirt because I just I feel awkward when I do it. Like, I don't really know what I'm doing.
Sure. Okay, fair enough. Well, I mean, I can be awkward and shy, too. I don't know how to teach stuff like that. And I hear your voice. I can be introverted. I know I can be awkward. I can be fucking weird all the time. But every once in a while when I was younger, I felt like I knew how to not give a shit and flirt a little bit. I guess going back, let's rewind a little bit.
Back in high school, who were you hanging out with? Did you go to college? What was your social interactions with friends and women? What was it all like?
Uh, high school, I wasn't really part of like a close friend group. I was kind of that guy that wasn't really close with anybody, but I knew it.
Okay.
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Chapter 2: How can John improve his social skills?
Oh, now you have feelings like magically after the kiss, you develop these feelings you never thought you had.
Honestly, yeah. It wasn't just a kiss. We did hook up.
Oh, okay.
We did hook up.
Well, all right. Well, set the stage for me. All right. So like, Eric, it's 6 p.m. New Year's Eve night. What are we doing? Like, how did this all unfold?
So he was out of town and debating whether or not to come back in town. And he ended up coming back in town and he set up a plan for a group of friends and invited me to come along. Mostly just his friends and then invited me to come along.
Are these guy friends or are these girl and guy friends?
It was mostly other couples.
Oh, mostly other couples.
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Chapter 3: What advice does Nick give about dating apps?
Chapter 4: How does Beth feel after kissing her best friend?
This was all very predictable. And by predictable, I mean like up to this point, right? Like the fact that he was about to have sex with you and you basically gave him a hall pass, you know, to like have some fun sex on New Year's Eve. And like the way you sold it to him is like, we can do this once. And if we do this once there won't, you know, it won't get weird. There'll be no feelings.
He did his whole, like, are you sure we should do this? Was like, you know, if a guy saying that as short of him being obsessed with you and in love with you, Which maybe is deep down, but right now he just thinks you're his friend. He's just saying that because he's just like, he wants to have sex with you and not have you call him an asshole afterwards.
And so, yeah, now that you were like, hey, I think there's something there, you know, you gave him something for free. And how was the sex, by the way?
It was really fun.
Awesome. Love that.
It was really fun. Yeah. And that was like, basically what I said to him when we, when I was like, I don't know, I think that there might be something worth exploring here. I, I said like the other night was really fun. And he also was like, yeah, it was, it was really fun. Um, I was like, it's kind of a shame to like, never do that again to like not happen.
Yeah. What'd he say?
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Chapter 5: What are the dynamics of Beth's friendship with her guy friend?
That was kind of when he was like, well, I don't know. I just like, I'm not sure. I don't want to like get your hopes up, whatever, which feels really like a condescending thing to say to me.
Oh my God. That was like the worst thing he could have said to you.
Worst possible thing.
That was one of your hopes up.
I got out of the car and I was like, all right, I'll see you later.
Yeah. Yeah. That shouldn't annoy you. You should be mad. Do you have the right to be mad about that? Yeah, I mean, you have to commit and you have to, you know, and so like, yeah, the reason why it's predictable is because he got to have sex with you.
And I don't know, just as a guy, there is something about like, if a guy wants to have sex with a woman, so he obviously wanted to have sex with you because he did. There's always like, what is that going to be like, you know, that first time, you know, and now he knows and now he has that opportunity. And so like, that's fine. I'm not saying you did anything wrong.
but now you're pitching him like responsibility and expectations and rules, so to speak. You know what I'm saying? Like ultimately the way that's what, that's kind of what he's here. And like, I don't think he's even like conscious, like, you know what I'm saying? Subconsciously he's like, all right, she's in my life all the time. I see her multiple days a week. She's my friend.
I mean, I'm so comfortable around her. I mean, she's my friend. I mean, like I could ask her advice. I could ask her about this. If I want to have lunch with her, she's definitely a phone call away. Now we had sex. Like I know what that's like with her. And so his subconscious brain just doesn't understand why he needs to like.
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Chapter 6: How can Beth explore her feelings for her best friend?
Cause like, I don't know how else to do it besides like, cause like I've already said where I stand and that I think that there's something worth exploring. And he said that he, you know, he was like kind of wishy-washy about it, which I basically just like kind of took as like, a no, which to your point was probably because he's like, well, why would I change like a good thing?
Yeah. So you're going to have to figure out like what your comfort level of your current situation is and how dependent he is on you to a certain extent. You know, like how much are you in his life right now?
I mean, I probably see him two or three times a week. I would say like we're each other's usual first call on like,
weekend nights if we want to do something or like if we're planning something if we want people to join like we're usually each other's first call like i feel like i'm very much a part like a huge part of his life and like he even like said that like when we were drunk that night he's like i don't like i wouldn't be able to like lose you and so like don't want to like mess this up hence why like should we even do this this is a strong chance that like yeah you could fall for you for sure yeah for sure
but he has to like let himself go there and he's not doing.
He has to let himself go there. I mean, if I'm keeping it super real with you and you know, you're a beautiful person, you know, like it just comes down to like how much did he really like having sex with you?
Okay. Well, I got the impression that he liked it a lot.
So yeah. And I just think that if, if he really liked it a lot, then I'm guessing he's going to want to do it again. Yeah.
And so just have to like, let that kind of situation actually play out and,
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