Beth
Appearances
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
Oh, I'm great. Better than I deserve. Outstanding. How are you?
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
Okay, my question is about MPI insurance, and do you think it would be worth it to get that if you're purchasing a new home?
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
No, not life insurance. It's mortgage protection insurance.
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
Yeah, we are actually looking to buy a new home, and I've had several people tell me about that, so I was wondering your thoughts, if it's worth it or not.
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
No. Well, yeah, kind of. My husband is self-employed, and I'm kind of concerned because He had a heart attack a couple years ago, and also he has problems with his back. So if he becomes disabled, I want to be able to know that I'm not going to be living on the street.
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
Okay. I do have term life insurance on him. We got it through Zender.
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
Okay, and what's his income? $300,000. About $300,000 a year.
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
Probably about $75,000 right now. I'm a little bit behind on that. I got a late start.
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
We do. We have probably about $120,000 in debt right now. But part of that will be paid off. It's mainly business loans.
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
That I'm not sure. I feel like I don't know. I mean, I do try to do a budget and stay on a budget. And I do do the snowball and, you know.
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
We're working on the y'all part. We do have contract labor that we do pay out.
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
Part of it might ring true, and part of it you're out to lunch, to be honest.
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
They are. I kind of, I pretty much know what's going through the business because I kind of, basically I do the book.
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
So. Um, you know, I, I don't, I don't think he's hiding anything from me at all.
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
I agree. Um, Not much. He just pays himself when he can. So that's one thing I'm working to do is to start paying ourselves first because it's been just paying, um, paying bills first.
The Ramsey Show
Be the Tortoise Not the Hare
I can't remember. I think between his and mine, it was like $100,000. 180, I think. That makes more sense.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
Hello? Hi. How are you? Hi. Hi. I'm okay. How about you? Thank you for taking my call. Yeah. How can we help? Well, I'm hoping that you can because I'm kind of at my wit's end. I've been married for almost 30 years, and I'm 62 years old, and so is my spouse. After we had children, sort of the division of labor, if you will, was I took care of everything but the finances.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
I took, you know, the household, the children, everything, and he was to pay the bills and has done that all of these years. Unfortunately, I've recently learned of some pretty catastrophic, devastating financial information that, well, he's had three huge job losses. They were all well-paying jobs. He did invest in the 401k. I'm not, I've never been sure about How much was in there?
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
I think it might have been maybe $170,000. It's gone. Each time he's had a job loss, it's been a two or three year gap in between because he refused to take anything other than an upper management position. And I've learned he's spent retirement savings.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
Well, I asked him and to be frank, he's got a lot of major management issues. I've always pressed to try to have a household budget. I was debt free before I met him. I had accumulated 30,000 in retirement myself. And anytime I would press it, I became fearful because he would get terribly angry.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
Yeah. Yeah. In my heart for sure. Um, but he just kept saying, quote, relax, quote, everything's fine. Um, don't nitpick me. We're fine. And he just kept saying, you wanted to do this budget and asking me these questions is showing you don't trust me. Well, Apparently, I had reason not to trust him. Of course.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
Well, not only that, but he had accrued as the financial manager of our family, he had accrued about $80,000 in credit card debt. And in 2016, we did a cash out refinance on the house to pay it off. He promised it would never, this would never happen again. And then in 2016, I became very ill. I wasn't expected to survive. I had no idea what's been going on since 2016 with our finances.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
And now I'm, praise the Lord, I'm recovered enough to work part time. But that's all. And then all this time, his most recent job loss was three years ago. And I finally convinced him to sell cars. So he's selling cars. How many cars do you have? I don't know. No, he's selling cars at a car lot.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
Yeah. He wouldn't get a job before, but now all of a sudden, six months ago, he said, okay, I'll sell cars.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
Yeah, we paid that off with the cash out refinance back in 2016. Okay, so then tell us... Then we now have $126,000 in debt, new debt, since the $80,000 was paid off.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
I've had to do a lot of digging here. I took some notes. Okay. There's a $77,000 in credit card debt. Is that in his name or your name? $30,000 is in mine, and $47,000 is in his. Okay, keep going. And then he got his sister to co-sign a HELOC on the house for $50,000, and now that's all gone too. So in total, it's...
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
Honestly, he was... not a very good money manager. And every time I wanted to have a budget, no one was, I want to call that out.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
Um, yeah, I think I wrote that down. Um, we paid $390,000. thousand ten years ago um now i think on zillow it's between eight hundred and eight hundred and fifty thousand and what do you owe on it still um oh that's a good question um i thought i wrote that down here i think we owe because of the cash out refinance and the heloc um
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
Getting the truck listed and putting that up for sale.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Let Toxic Money Situations Keep You Trapped
It's not what I want to do, but it's not always what I want to do. Very few people are sitting on one variable that could change everything.
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
Oh, 100%. And I think what has recently stopped, and this is... tell me if you need me to stop, but you know, I always, always contribute to my 401k. Now it's like, well, I can only do that. That's on pause. My husband does it. He has his 401k. It's like certain things have stopped. Right. But we have financially, but like put that security in.
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
So, you know, we can hold off on that for a little bit.
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
Well, thank you for taking my call. So I'll cut to the chase. I'm a licensed realtor. I'm working towards my broker's license. I'm in class now, but I have chosen this past year to stay at home with our son, and I'm feeling some regret about staying home, and I'm struggling with how to be content in that decision.
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
How can I make peace with this choice and still pursue my career goals without feeling like I'm not contributing enough financially? Hmm.
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
I've been in the mental health field since I graduated college and always had that job as director role and had a consistent paycheck. real estate came into my life about nine years ago and that was always bonus. Um, so that was always on the side. And when I eventually have a family, I can focus on that.
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
And, you know, and so only type as a side hustle, my husband's and mortgages, it's been a rollercoaster last couple of years, but with the hustles, um, you know, side hustles and so forth, we've saved some money and, and, you know, my son's only two. Uh, we both agreed I can, um, you know, continue to focus on real estate and stay at home. So I guess that's been a challenge for me.
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
I'm always on the go, going to work. And so I just, I'm having a hard time with that. Although it's a very, it's a wonderful thing. I'm still technically working, but I guess that's just not clicking, you know, for me, if that makes sense.
The Ramsey Show
Break the Cycle of Financial Self-Sabotage
It makes total sense. There's never a moment where I'm sitting.