The Dr. John Delony Show
Should I Quit Trying to Involve My Ex in Our Daughter’s Life?
Mon, 06 Jan
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📱Early access: Watch episodes of The Dr. John Delony Show one week early—download the free Ramsey Network app today! On today’s episode, we hear about: · A woman wondering if she should include her daughter’s dad in her life · A mother trying to help her son after a traumatic event · A sister struggling with her brother after he moved into their home Next Steps: 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test 📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards 💭 John's Free Guided Meditation 🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. 🔴 Get 15% off with code DELONY at BON CHARGE. 🌿 Get up to 40% off at Cozy Earth with code DELONY. 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. 😇 Go to Hallow for a 90-day free trial. 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 🥤 Get 20% off at Organifi with code DELONY. 💪 Get 25% off your order at Thorne. 🏋️ Go to Trainwell to get started! Listen to More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 💼 The Ken Coleman Show 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy https://www.ramseysolutions.com/company/policies/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: Should I involve my daughter's biological dad in school activities?
Do I involve my daughter's biological dad in school activities when he shows no interest otherwise to pick her up?
What's the custody arrangement?
There is no legal custody arrangement. We kind of just left it for now. Oh, God. Don't do that, please. Please don't do that.
What up? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. Taking your calls. All over planet Earth. Taking your calls on your relationships, your marriages, your kids. What to do next with your emotional and your mental health. Schooling. Whatever you got going on in your life. Here's my promise. I'll sit with you. We'll figure out what's the next right move.
Give me a buzz at 1-844-693-3291. Or go to johndeloney.com slash ask. A-S-K. And I get questions from all over the planet. from Europe, from some Asian countries, from Australia. Yes, you can write in. Yes, we've had people from other countries on the show, johndeloney.com slash ask, and we'll figure out a way that we can connect, if we can line up our schedules together.
So I'd love to have you on the show. And take a quick second, quick second, hit subscribe on the YouTubes. Man, thank you so, so much. All right, let's go out to Anaheim, California, and talk to Jennifer. What's up, Jennifer?
Hi, Don. How are you?
I mean, I'm dancing like I've never danced before. How about you?
Oh, I just woke up.
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Chapter 2: What should I do about the custody arrangement?
What's the custody arrangement?
There is no legal custody arrangement. We kind of just left it for now. Don't do that, please. Please don't do that. Well, I'm only 24. I had her when I was 19.
I know. And so I'm telling you as an old man, I'm a thousand years old. Please get a legal custody arrangement. Please, please, please, please, please. The greatest gift you can give her is some clarity. Because what's going to happen is he's going to meet somebody and that person's going to start ruining everybody's life.
And or you're gonna make a decision Based on I don't use this word mean I mean, I mean this in the best sense, but based on a fantasy Like I had a baby an amazing young girl by this guy He's kind of been a deadbeat. I'm remarried. I'm going on with my life But he is going to rise to the challenge and be a great friend and co-parent to our amazing little daughter. He's not He sucks
And so you're going to keep ticking along, and what you're going to find yourself doing is trying to drag him into a situation that he is – behavior is a language. He is letting everybody know, including his precious little baby girl, I don't want anything to do with this. But someday somebody is going to sue you for custody. And he's going to say, look at all these conferences I went to.
Look at all this. And he never picked her up, never helped, never put a dime on the table. I can't tell you how important it is to get a custody agreement, a legal one, and then just follow it. But to answer your broad question, without an agreement –
If you have a guy here that shows no interest, doesn't pick his daughter up, isn't driving you crazy trying to see his precious baby girl, then he is telling you on a day-to-day, minute-by-minute, second-by-second basis, I don't care about your life. I don't care about her life. And so he's opting out. And so no, he is not a part of her rhythms of her life. And will that come back and haunt her?
God, yes. But what you and your new husband can do is give her an amazing tethered home so that when she begins asking the terrifying question, what was so bad about me that daddy chose to opt out of my life, that she'll at least have an anchored, stable group of adults, a mom and a dad at home that she can stay tethered to while she really goes through that haunted house. Does that make sense?
Yeah, you really got me thinking now. We've thought about the custody thing. There was a time... Um, we, we thought about it. Uh, we think we would win, um, just because we actually, we have everything settled. We have our own apartment, you know, we're both working. We have our son as well. And, you know, we've, we've, we've got life together.
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