Chris Wittyngham joins us from his shower, not his bathtub, to discuss his heartbreak after his New York Rangers bowed out to the Florida Panthers. Chris offers him an olive branch and wants him to come back to the Panthers, but Witty's stubbornness simply will not allow it. He now turns his attention to the Edmonton Oilers, and has an interesting way of rooting them on. Plus, Stugotz is in heaven guiding us down the lazy river with the Cotes and finds himself in the middle of a classic Cote discussion. Then, we dive deeper into the Stanley Cup Finals with Roy, who is once again very confident in his Florida Panthers. Do the Panthers have to win the Stanley Cup this year? Chris doesn't necessarily think so. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: Why is Chris Wittyngham upset about the Rangers?
First, I can tell you the portions have not gotten smaller. One of the things I think it's great about Chipotle is if you come into the restaurant and you want a little more rice or you want a little more pico, all you got to do is kind of like, and usually our guys and women give them a little more scoop. It's a little nod.
That's false.
He said later in that video that it's not protein, by the way. The nod only works for non-protein, which is, who wants more? I don't need more guac. I already have a mountain of this guac you put up here.
It's for the stuff that doesn't cost them a lot of money. Yes, exactly. Yeah, they don't give you more meat. They laugh at you. Nod. Would you ever walk into a place and just nod and expect them to know what it is you're nodding for? No. No. That shouldn't work in any restaurant.
Right? I agree. Why are you complaining about it? He's basically saying you can have more if you guys want.
Because it's bullshit. That's why. No, it's not. But that's the case in any restaurant you go to. When I'm going into a, just to name a restaurant at random, when I'm going into a char hut, if I want more onion, instead of nodding, I say, can I get a few more onions, please?
That place is so good. I just had it the other day. Yeah. Char hut. Diced onions. Damn right. So good. Oh, those straw onion rings? Yes. Oh, my gosh. I think there's a Char Hutton sunrise, which should be, I think, along with the quarterdeck and Ed Morse, of course, should be on the parade route for the Florida Panthers. I mean... And La Bamba, Whittingham's favorite place on the planet. I mean...
So, Witty, you're not in a bathtub. Where are you? It looks like a gym shower.
So I don't have a bathtub in my apartment in Connecticut. So I'm in my shower. I mean, it is a tub like white. Is it porcelain? I don't even know what material this is. It's it's my it's how I bathe slash shower in the morning. So I'm here. Here I am. I'm doing it.
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Chapter 2: What does Witty think about the Panthers' chances?
But the thing is that the darkness and the sadness is what has made this experience for me. I have been ripped up and down on social media. I have been ripped up and down on this program. I have been destroyed by several group chats of my friends. My friends hate me. I didn't do all of that to then at the final hurdle be like, you know what? I'm rooting for the Panthers and the Stanley Cup final.
No, I'm rooting for your misery. I'm rooting for you to be inflicted what has been inflicted upon me for several years now. I don't want you to be happy. Your choice. I don't. You chose this. No one made you do this. I know. I know. And you know what? The choice has not gone well for me. Thank you. However, let's not see this end in a championship because, my God, it would be terrible.
It would be the worst thing that had ever happened in my life.
Who won?
Who won?
Who won the trade between Calgary and Florida? Not the team that didn't make the playoffs.
How many goals did Matthew Kachuk score in the Eastern Conference final? Was it a whole one? Chris, he made the Eastern Conference final. He made the cup. John Hubrador did not. He didn't even make the playoffs. Sam Reinhardt and Sam Bennett and Alexander Barkov and Gustav Forsling and Sergei Bobrovsky, they made the Stanley Cup final. Deep team.
They're like the Rangers.
carry it carrying a passenger making more money than everybody else he only scored the one goal in the eastern conference final as opposed to the new york rangers the rangers got like one goal out of their so-called big three and they didn't have the depth to make up for it unlike the panthers that's correct that is correct and fair play to the panthers for building a very good team defensively i i don't like it it's not my kind of hockey
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Chapter 3: How does Chris Whittingham root for the Oilers?
Now they charge for it, right? They charge now?
Yeah. Okay, it's like 65 cents.
Yeah, but it used to be free. You used to just say, can I have a tortilla on the side? You'd make your own little burrito on the side, and then you'd eat the rest of it in your bowl. The side burrito was chef's kiss. Cerrito. Yeah.
You don't get to do that. I know, yeah, yeah.
What do you mean I don't get to do that?
You don't. Not wearing that shirt. All right, we're going to give you one more opportunity here. Do you want to come back and be a Florida Panthers fan? It's up to Roy. It's up to Roy. You can beg and plead your case and Roy will decide. Do you want it or not?
How funny would it be if I just said, yeah, can you let me back in? Dude, you're welcome. No, no, no.
You have to admit the trade worked for Florida.
I am the world's biggest Oilers fan. By the way, I had no idea how far away Edmonton was. Why is there a team there? They're so far away from everybody. It's like seven and a half hours to get there from New York. I was looking at a flight. to root on my beloved Edmonton Oilers, who've been a lifelong fan.
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Chapter 4: What is the debate over Chipotle sizes?
Chapter 5: What hilarious shower situation does Witty find himself in?
It was the Mecca. It's what happened.
People might say they don't want you back, but we'll take you back, man. I'm here for you if you want to come back.
But the thing is that the darkness and the sadness is what has made this experience for me. I have been ripped up and down on social media. I have been ripped up and down on this program. I have been destroyed by several group chats of my friends. My friends hate me. I didn't do all of that to then at the final hurdle be like, you know what? I'm rooting for the Panthers and the Stanley Cup final.
No, I'm rooting for your misery. I'm rooting for you to be inflicted what has been inflicted upon me for several years now. I don't want you to be happy. Your choice. I don't. You chose this. No one made you do this. I know. I know. And you know what? The choice has not gone well for me. Thank you. However, let's not see this end in a championship because, my God, it would be terrible.
It would be the worst thing that had ever happened in my life.
Who won?
Who won?
Who won the trade between Calgary and Florida? Not the team that didn't make the playoffs.
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Chapter 6: How does Witty feel about being a Panthers fan?
How many goals did Matthew Kachuk score in the Eastern Conference final? Was it a whole one? Chris, he made the Eastern Conference final. He made the cup. John Hubrador did not. He didn't even make the playoffs. Sam Reinhardt and Sam Bennett and Alexander Barkov and Gustav Forsling and Sergei Bobrovsky, they made the Stanley Cup final. Deep team.
They're like the Rangers.
carry it carrying a passenger making more money than everybody else he only scored the one goal in the eastern conference final as opposed to the new york rangers the rangers got like one goal out of their so-called big three and they didn't have the depth to make up for it unlike the panthers that's correct that is correct and fair play to the panthers for building a very good team defensively i i don't like it it's not my kind of hockey
but what's like great hockey kind of hockey it's not my kind of hockey i don't i don't like the what is your kind of hockey what is losing hockey is like is you know where they try and score goals and pass the puck what a concept like soccer right exactly i that honestly like to be fair like two years ago what i liked about the panthers they kind of played soccer on ice right now they play like rugby on ice it's terrible
Listen, Whittingham is consistent. Like he said this about the Dolphins as well. He wants his team to be exciting. He doesn't care if they win. He just wants them to be exciting.
That's correct. Yeah. And I feel like, I don't know, most sports fans prefer winning to aesthetics.
but i like you said i am very consistent about this i don't i would not want my soccer team to try and not play with the ball i would not want my nfl team to not try and score 31 points and i would like to see my hockey team like string three passes together that that that's my desired outcome and the florida panthers don't seem terribly intent on doing that i wish this so i didn't like it i didn't like it seriously
they pass the puck chris no they don't i wish that shower would turn on right now uh whittingham how crushed were you like you know you but you're listening you're the biggest ranger fan i know so he's not crushed doesn't give a no no it was it was really bad so saturday on top of the the rangers playing it was the champions league final and if you like if you like real madrid you have no soul and so real madrid in the first 60 minutes are horrendous
Borussia Dortmund should have scored a goal but Real Madrid do a Real Madrid thing and like every sporting interest I had on Saturday went wrong and so I've actually decided to not watch Panthers games anymore because they make me miserable and so I'm just like I'm following my the score notifications that I get in and I'm just like and every time it like comes up on my Apple watch I look down and I go please do God please do God and then it doesn't go my way and it's just terrible and
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Chapter 7: What’s the significance of woos at graduations?
Because my daughter is hearing 50 kids before her get wooed, and then she gets her name called, and what if she just hears nothing? Golf clap. I'm telling you, by the 30th kid, I am mailing in this clap. That's the thing that's more interesting to me. Everyone's giving their kid the woo. It's what do you give the other 104 kids? Not everybody gave a woo.
Because by kid 32, I'm barely making a noise with this clap.
Not every parent woos. You're saying some parents were silent when their kid was called? Oh, you left early. You left early. Act like you've been there before? Yeah.
This guy snuck out the back door like 20 minutes into the ceremony. Didn't even see his... The woo that I did for my daughter, you weren't even there for. I know, but I heard it on tape.
You missed the woo, huh? Yeah, I did. I would have cringed. Chrissy woo. Yeah.
No, you don't woo. Yes, you do. Everyone woo. It's such an odd thing to make fun of.
I didn't woo.
It metastasizes. You didn't give Claire a woo?
No, I had my phone in my hand. Usually I clap, but I didn't give a woo in this situation. No, you can't woo.
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Chapter 8: How do different families celebrate at graduations?
I know, and then you're drowning out the announcement of the next kid. No, everyone is very respectful.
That's why you just do get in and out with a quick woo.
Yeah, exactly.
But we're talking kindergarten graduation here. How do we feel about that, by the way? If you're wooing at a kindergarten graduation.
I mean, seriously, do it in high school. Yeah, it's the worst. So you think afterward your daughter says to you, Daddy, why didn't you woo? No, she heard me woo. I know, but if you didn't, you think she would actually say, why didn't you woo? I think she'd question, where were you? Like, I didn't hear you.
Whereas she heard my woo. Okay.
I think she'd be upset if everyone else, A through B, got woos.
Wait a second. Mom didn't woo? Yeah, the wife didn't woo. My wife was crying.
She's emotional. Well, cry loudly. If you're going to cry, cry loudly. She was boo-hooing. Okay, you want your daughter on stage to hear you crying. So cry loudly. What? Weep. Weep loudly.
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