Hit the red carpet with a look back at The Daily Show's coverage of the Academy Awards. Lewis Black attempts to make the Oscars watchable. Stephen Colbert covers the festivities with help from Nancy Walls and Steve Carell. Roy Wood Jr. examines a surprisingly diverse slate of nominees, and Ronny Chieng responds to the Academy's most egregious snubs (specifically, himself). See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: Why do some people find the Oscars unwatchable?
The Oscars are just around the corner. That magical night when America's finest actors seethed with rage while British people pretending to be Americans steal their awards. And if you're not excited about the Academy Awards, welcome to the club. They suck. For years, the Oscars broadcast has drawn fewer people than the strip aerobics class I teach.
It's exercise, and it helps me unlock my sensuality. So this year, the producers are trying to get us watching again in ways that range from the idiotic to the insane.
The producers of the Oscars are slimming down the broadcast in an effort to boost slumping ratings. Eight awards will now be presented off-air, including the Oscars for film editing, makeup and hairstyling, and music original score. The ceremony for those categories will begin an hour before the telecast. The winners will then be sprinkled into the three-hour broadcast.
Chapter 2: What changes are the Oscars making to the broadcast?
The president of the Academy says the changes are necessary for the future success of the Oscars.
You can't cut out the men and women who work behind the scenes. Without them on stage, the Oscars are just awards for Hollywood's greatest sex criminals. How sad is it that the Academy has decided that the reason people don't want to watch its award show is that there are too many awards? Recognizing excellence through awards is the whole point. Without that, the Oscars are totally meaningless.
Also, with that, the Oscars are totally meaningless. It's especially unfair not to broadcast the makeup and hairstyle Oscars. Those people are the backbone of our industry. I have a whole team of people working hours to make me this beautiful. Now, if people simply don't care about the little awards, then sure, cutting them will make the show more appealing.
The problem is, nobody cares about the big awards either, because they keep nominating movies nobody has seen. I did see The Power of the Dog, but only because they tricked me into thinking it was a superhero movie. If the dog doesn't fly, that's not a power. So now the Academy has a real problem.
Chapter 3: How are fan votes influencing the Oscars?
Sure, they could just nominate movies ordinary people like, but that wouldn't be a good idea either, because ordinary people are morons who only like dumb movies that don't deserve nominations. So instead, They come up with the perfect way to pander to fans, while also insulting our intelligence.
And the Motion Picture Academy is looking to get film fans involved. The Hollywood Reporter says this year folks on Twitter get to vote on their favorite movies of last year using the hashtag OscarsFanFavorite. It can be any title, so you're not limited just to this year's nominated pictures. The movie that gets the most fan votes will be recognized during the Oscar show.
What a great idea! Let's let Russian bots choose the Oscars. They did such a terrific job with our elections. There's already a vote for fan favorite. It's called buying a ticket, asshole. If the Oscars are so desperate for viewers, there are better ways to get eyeballs than cutting categories or polling Twitter. How about a halftime show? It works for the Super Bowl.
Also, how about making the stars smash their heads together until they get brain damage? It works for the Super Bowl. But really, we all know what makes the Oscars such a drag. Those interminable speeches and clearly playing people off with music doesn't do jack shit. And that's why I've come up with a way to guarantee the winners don't wear out their welcome.
All right, everyone, let's keep it short. My bus transfer expires in 15 minutes, and I intend to use it.
Thank you to the Academy. Our heroes unite us, you know, the best among us who inspire us to find the best in ourselves. You know, when they unite us, when we look to our heroes, we agree.
Yeah, we all agree your speech has gone on long enough. Save the rest for your diary, Bridget Jones.
Venus and Serena and Selena, Bob Dylan, Scorsese, Fred Rogers, Harriet Tubman, Neil Armstrong, Sally Ride, Dolores Fuerta.
Neil Armstrong's speech was one sentence. You're a disgrace to his legacy.
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Chapter 4: What are some humorous Oscar speech moments?
You gotta be kidding me. The glaciers may be melting, but at least they move faster than this. For the last time, keep the speeches short and to the point.
We feel entitled to artificially inseminate a cow, and when she gives birth, we steal her baby, even though her cries of anguish are unmistakable. and then we take her milk that's intended for her calf, and we put it in our coffee and our cereal.
Oh, come on, not for nothing, but if you'd wrapped that up earlier, I wouldn't have needed a midnight snack.
That's not only a great idea, it's a great performance. Where's my Oscar?
Well, last night in Los Angeles, Academy voters finally answered one of Hollywood's age-old questions.
You like movies about gladiators?
The answer? Sort of. The action-adventure epic Gladiator took home Best Picture honors at the 73rd Annual Academy Awards. But keep in mind, the direction, screenplay, score, editing, cinematography, set direction, and supporting actor apparently could have been better.
The evening saw no clear winner, as the major awards were split between a handful of films, primarily Traffic, Gladiator, the Chinese language martial arts epic Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and to a much, much, much lesser extent, Space Cowboys. Gladiator's Russell Crowe walked away with Best Actor honors, and he had a few people to thank.
I'd like to thank the Academy. I'd also like to thank my mom and dad.
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Chapter 5: Which films were highlighted at the Oscars?
Thank you, Nancy, that sounds great. This year's show had a decidedly international flavor, with Ang Lee's Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon taking home a cluster of awards. It's safe to say that the Oscar stage has never before seen such a multicultural parade of influences and a wonderful assortment of strange new tongues.
And then there was Bob Dylan.
Dylan's satellite performance live from Australia came on the heels of performances by other international superstars, most notably Icelandic pop goddess Björk Gudmundsdottir, acclaimed cellist Yo-Yo Ma, and Philadelphia 76er center Dikembe Mutombo. He wasn't actually there. I just like saying his name.
Further adding to the international flavor, the Irving Fahlberg Award this year presented to Italy's 81-year-old producing legend, Dino De Laurentiis.
My gratitude go to six beautiful women. They love me, they give me hope. My wife Marta, my daughter Veronica, Raffaella, Francesca, Carolina,
De Laurentiis went way over his time limit because he kept interrupting himself by saying, let's take another look at my wife.
Can you believe I'm a-banging that? I mean, look at me. My skin hangs from my body. My skin hangs from my body like a warm dough. I'm barely a human. And I can take her any time I want, huh? Who's your gladiator now?
Last night's ceremonies were watched by almost a billion people around the world. It's what makes the Oscars special. Our own European correspondent, Steve Carell, watched the spectacle from war-torn Macedonia, where he is stationed. We have him on the phone live. Steve, are you there? Hello, Steven. What image will you keep with you from last night?
Well, there are so many, but I'd say one picture I'll never get out of my mind was that of the Macedonian tank columns rolling into Tedavo. devouring everything beneath their ravenous steel treads and reducing this once great civilization to a nightmarish hellscape of unspeakable anguish.
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Chapter 6: How did international films fare at the Oscars?
So I take it you didn't get a chance to watch the Oscars.
Are you kidding? We're going to miss it for the world. When Julia won, I was crying. I mean, I started crying because of an atrocity I saw perpetrated on a busload of refugees, but I saved a few tears for Julia. She earned them.
Thank you, Steve. You be careful over there.
I sure will. Oh, do me a favor. Will you tell my wife that I love her, you know, just in case?
I'll get somebody on that.
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Welcome back to The Daily Show. Are you guys as excited as I am about the awards season? Yeah, yeah? I mean, we just had the Golden Globes, the SAG Awards, and of course, the Fake News Awards, which was the biggest fake news of all because it wasn't even awards. It was a shitty website, Trump. I mean, you could have put a little bit of effort into it.
Some of us took out ads and got our hair did, but whatever. I'm not angry. But now, there's the granddaddy of them all, the Oscars. And this year, granddad's got some new moves.
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Chapter 7: What was Steve Carell's perspective on the Oscars?
Expecting expertise. Expert indeed. What's up, Roy? Hey, man, look. In the past, it was hashtag OscarsSoWhite, but this year, it's hashtag OscarsSoSorry. People who were long overlooked are finally getting their due. Obviously, the big one is Get Out. Four top nominations. That's dope. Little known fact, Trevor, a lot of people don't know this. Get Out is based on a true story. What, it is?
Hell yeah. Get Out is the true story of a prominent black neurosurgeon trapped inside the Trump administration. Now, they changed some of the details, but tell me, tell me this ain't Ben Carson every day.
Oh. Well, well, I find that the African-American experience for me has been, for the most part, very good.
Damn, Roy, I never thought of that. Right down to the hat. That's Ben Carson. Someone should try and free Ben Carson with a flash photo. That wouldn't work. His eyes are always closed. And now, Roy, the star of that movie, Daniel Kaluuya, he picked up his first Oscar nomination. How do you like his odds? Oh, he good.
He good, man. It's a British black dude playing an American black dude. That's like how you sit at this desk and pretend to be Australian every night, or whatever the hell accent that is. Wait, what? But also, man, don't count out Denzel. In Roman J. Israel, Denzel Washington plays Questlove playing a lawyer. The layers of that performance, bro. Boy, he's not playing Questlove. I know.
He becomes Questlove. Now, this is also a great time for black actresses. Octavia Spencer. Octavia Spencer, man, became the first black woman to get nominated two years running. And then there's the Best Supporting Actress nominee, Miss Mary J. Blige. Yeah, that was amazing. And I've got to admit, that was a nice surprise. Aw, man, it wasn't that surprising.
As soon as I saw Mudbound, I knew Mary J. was getting a nomination. She ain't wearing no makeup. Trevor, any time... Anytime a black woman in a film don't put on no makeup, you know it's gonna be some serious acting. You got Oprah in the color purple, Monique in Precious, and Madea in Alex Cross. I almost didn't recognize her.
Oh, man, Roy, you know, the truth is representation is so much better this year. Like, Jordan Peele and Greta Gerwig for Best Director. Mudbound's Rachel Morrison is the first-ever woman nominated for cinematography.
That's right, man. Everybody got recognized, man. Black people, women people. But you're forgetting the biggest breakthrough of them all. Fish people! Did you see Shape of Water? Bro, they got a fish person, an actual fish person, not in a background role like they normally get. This fish person is the romantic lead, and he got to smash. Bro, that never happens. A fish got to smash.
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