Episode #725: Bryan & Krissy go back to the early 90's and pull out one of the worst dating shows ever conceived...STUDS. An episode featuring "Wild Women" brings together mud wrestlers and dud-studs to give us one of the useless shows of all time. But, make "lemonade of lemonade" they say! Plus, Val Kimmer's passing hits Bryan in his soft spot. TCBit: Fyree Fest 1.2 is on! It's the can't miss, miss of the festival season! Watch EP #725 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits: Written, Performed and Edited by Bryan Green To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is Fiery Fest 1.2 and why is it a 'can't miss' event?
Deep in the heart of the Mayan Riviera, beyond the sandy beaches, tropical vibes, and blue waters, lies an event so exclusive it can't be seen with the human eye. Announcing Fiery Fest 1.2. This is the event that has to be seen to be seen. Have you seen? Will you be seen? Concert, dance party, rave, sporting event, baseball card signing festival, you will not want to miss.
All brought to you by Billy McFarland, El Scamay Gringo Productions, Tila Tequila Tequila, Boone's Farm Tropical Mist Coolers, The New York State Parole Board, RonJeremy.com, and Doug from across the street. With ticket prices starting at just $37,995, you'd be a fool not to not think about it. Purchase the Bernie Madoff package and you'll be whisked away from a helipad in Valdosta, Georgia.
to Orlando, Florida's International Airport, where you'll meet 120 other Instagram influencers for an unforgettable journey you'd soon wish you'd forget. Then you'll hop aboard our luxury Spirit Airlines private public flight to your destination somewhere in Mexico. You'll be promptly driven to your accommodations in style by Pablo's Cousins Transportation.
Enjoy your 6.5-hour drive through the lush tropical rainforests in Pablo's Cousin's Convertible Honda Pickup Trucks, sip on complimentary tap water provided by Doug from across the street, and enjoy an amuse-bouche provided by Billy the Douche. Once you arrive at your all-inclusive resort, it's time to unpack, relax, and let Donna's Beachside Motel pamper you in style.
How about a swim in the above-ground pool? Take a bath in our eco-friendly outdoor repurposed beer cooler. or visit Donna's day spa and salon for a happy ending you nor your doctor will soon forget. But get some rest, because the party starts early and you will not want to miss being photographed with some of TikTok's most obnoxious influencers.
With over 22 separate locations in 4 different towns and 3 different cities, Fiery Fest 1.2 is the most spread out festival this festival season. You'll enjoy music from some of music's most exciting artists, like ******. And, and, and, and two late night sets by Doug from across the street. Plus, you'll be raving well into the morning when DJ Dan spins the night away.
DJ Dan, fresh from his residency at Tom and Sarah's wedding, will melt your face off with a mind-blowing techno laser and two smoke machines. Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to hobnob like an angel investor at a crypto conference with our celebrity munch and brunch. You'll be rubbing elbows with the elite and eating street tacos from a paper plate.
Celebrities expected in attendance include Rob Schneider, the guy who played Chunk in Goonies, Charlie from Charlie Bit My Finger, Kid Rock, and Doug from across the street. With special athlete celebrities like five-time Charleston pickleball champion Reggie Twaddles,
and russian semi-pro basketball star angela sideswipe a wise man once said life doesn't have a refund policy why should we that wise man dog from across the street fiery fest 1.2 is for the dreamers the doers the people who love taking risks and those who are okay wasting their hard-earned money Fiery Fest 1.2 is not legally bound to tell you anything.
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Chapter 2: Who are Bryan and Krissy in the podcast world?
On this episode of The Commercial Break.
We'll give you $100, get a motel room, fuck each other, and come back and tell us all about it.
Go dancing.
But only in innuendos.
A rip here and a tear there, lips and clothes everywhere, it's got to be Milton.
Miltie!
Yeah, good old Miltie.
What does that mean, Milt? Well, what that means is we were having a pretty good time when we left the bar. And we pretty much did the streets of San Diego. You did the streets of San Diego.
Is that lingo that I'm not understanding? I did the streets of San Diego.
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Chapter 3: How did Val Kilmer impact Bryan's life?
Val Kilmer. If you're younger than 30 years old, you probably don't even know who Val Kilmer is unless you're a movie buff. And then you will know Val Kilmer because he was in some of the most wonderful movies ever made, quite frankly. I mean, a few of them, right? So he was in Top Gun. Tombstone. Tombstone.
Batman. He played Batman. That's right.
He was a Batman, a one-hit wonder Batman, but I think he played a good Batman.
I did too.
I liked Val Kilmer as Batman. True Romance. True Romance. That's correct. He was in, was he in Weird Science? Not Weird Science. He was in one of those teenage movies. He like made his debut in one of those 80s teenage movies.
Yeah.
But for me, like when people say that, what's that movie that won all the awards about the trans woman? Oh. It's so forgettable at this point. It's so forgettable. The musical with the trans, you know, drug dealer or whatever.
Yes. Selena Gomez was in it. Yes.
Everybody said, or some people said, that movie changed my life. And we were all like, really? That movie changed your life? Oh, no. Never mind. It was Anora. Anora. They were like, that movie changed my life. I was like, really? It was a life-changing movie? The Doors, for me, was a life-changing movie.
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Chapter 4: What is Bryan's take on Morgan Wallen's SNL departure?
Yeah. Well, there's a documentary out there that came out a few years ago that I watched. Yeah.
And it was like critically acclaimed, wasn't it?
I think. But yeah, it was really good. And it goes through his whole kind of trajectory with the throat cancer. I know. But he died of pneumonia.
He died of pneumonia? Yeah. Geez, that's what takes you. That's the random shit that takes you when you get our age. When you get into your late 30s, that's what takes you is pneumonia or hip break or something like that. You just can't recover. Your body just doesn't do it. Oh, Val, gone too soon. And he went to Juilliard, too, which I did not know until I read the articles.
He was like the youngest person to get in.
Oh, really?
At 17.
Really? I didn't know that. There you go. You learn something new every day. Anyway, RIP Val Kilmer. I'll pour one out for you. You will always be one of my favorites for if for anything. I mean, there's so many other great roles you had, too. But if for anything, you literally sucking up the ghost of Jim Morrison and allowing it to be on screen. And if you haven't seen the movie The Doors.
Get a glass of wine or your favorite, call your favorite D, get him to bring over a bag of your favorite, you know, Laffy Taffy or Speedball or whatever it is you choose to do. Be safe out there, kids. Do it at home. Don't drink and drive. Don't drug and drive. But watch that movie in some state of intoxication or meditation and tell me that it's not just an amazing movie start to finish.
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Chapter 5: Why is the 90s dating show 'Studs' considered controversial?
I don't know. And then afterwards was when he tweeted or said, yeah, whatever. I got to get back to God's country or something. So I guess he just had to get out of there. I don't know. He hated New York. Saturday Night Live, I'm not sure.
First of all, must be really nice to have a $26 million Learjet waiting to take you to God's country. How tone deaf is that? I guarantee 99.999% of your fans probably will never sit in a private plane. Most of us may never even sit in first class again, let alone a private plane. And then to tweet that I got to get back to God's country as if something is wrong.
You know, it's like it's just it's divisive. It doesn't make any sense. And walking off directly in front of the camera where you knew that was going to be out on live television in front of millions of people just seemed rude to me. Like Saturday Night Live. And I want to say this about Morgan Whelan. Whalen. Whalen. Whalen. Whalen. Whalen. Whalen. Whalen. Whalen. Whalen. Whalen. Whalen. Whalen.
Whalen. Whalen. He was supposed to be on Saturday Night Live. When that all blew up, he was supposed to be on Saturday Night Live that week. Saturday Night Live obviously made the decision that it's too hot to trot right now. Lorne Michaels said, yeah, I'm sorry, kid. You can't come on. Not now. The kitchen is too hot. You got to get out.
But six months later, they invited him back and they said, OK, here's your shot. You know, here's your shot at redemption after he went on the apology tour. And I'm really sorry. And that's not who I am and all that other stuff. They just like empty words that come out of every person's mouth when they get in trouble. But they get caught being themselves.
And all of a sudden they have some different story or excuse as to why it happened. Welcome to 2025. Well, Saturday Night Live had him on six months, seven months later. So they invite him back for a second time. And it's not like... So you decide to go do the show, but it's not... Where you want to be. It's not where you want to be. Why do the show at all?
You're doing the show so that you can get attention. Because that's what people who are... That's what mainstream artists do. They have to go... Feed the machine. And you went and fed the machine. And the people at Saturday Night Live and NBC and all the other people who are involved in that decision gave you the platform to do that.
But you can't sit still for 15 seconds and just say goodbye to those people. Seems really rude. You don't have to love everybody on stage. You don't have to love what they're about. You don't have to love their politics. You don't have to love who they love. You don't have to do any of that. All you have to do is just stand there and say goodbye. But you make a show of it.
To me, it's an honor to be on Saturday Night Live.
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Chapter 6: What is the significance of Paris Hilton's philanthropy?
Yeah, couple skate, hold hands, stuff like that.
I don't know.
I don't know. Okay. Okay. In the 90s and 2000s, life just seemed a little easier. It seemed hard back then, but now I realize just how easy it was. You literally walk into a bar and pussy be falling from the sky. No doubt. Not really. But that's what mystery thinks. Anyway, in the 90s and 2000s, life was easier. And that's why, Chrissy, I want to take us back to a simpler time this episode.
And I want to catch up. With Blind Date UK.
Ooh.
But first, do you have a good story for us so we can end this segment on a little bit of positivity?
All right, tell us. Well, again, I highly recommend this newsletter. It's called Nice News Daily, and it comes to your inbox every day, first thing. So you can start with that before you get to the slush and dumpster fire stuff. It's happening. So here's something. Paris Hilton, of all people, is helping women-owned businesses begin again after they've eaten fire.
So just two months after her house – After they've eaten fire? Well, that fire is out in – Oh, the eaten fire. Okay.
I'm sorry. They said after they've eaten fire. And I'm like, what? People are out there eating fire? Yeah. This is sounding like good news to me. Okay. All right.
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