It’s a point of contention already… with our guest Bill Burr. A soliloquy, much needed advice to plumbers, and underground hockey conspiracy theories. Does your dog need Prozac, or do you? It’s an all-new SmartLess. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of SmartLess ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.
Chapter 1: Why was Bill Burr frustrated before the podcast started?
Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and I am in the waiting room waiting for the three gentlemen, we'll call them, of the Smart List podcast. It's funny. They told me to be here by 845, even though the podcast starts at 930. So it's sort of a point of contention already. But this is the Smart List podcast. Here we go. Smart.
Chapter 2: What funny incident happened with buffalo chicken dumplings?
Here's the nice, you guys appreciate this. I decided I'm gonna go to, I was hanging with our buddy at his house over in the West Village. And then our other buddy, Chris Henchy showed up and we were chit-chatting and Chris Henchy is always good for a million laughs. And I said, I'm gonna go to Cafe Clooney for lunch solo. And he goes, oh, you gotta have the Buffalo chicken dumplings.
He's like, they're dumplings, but they're in buffalo chicken sauce. I go, Henshie, it's not part of my freaking diet. He's like, oh, my buddy runs that place. I go, yeah, thanks, man. But you know, this is a temple, as JB would say. So I walk over. Body's no fluke. No fluke. And I walk over there, beautiful noon on a Monday, snow, just like heavy snow starting, tucked into a corner.
I order a salad and a little bit of chicken with some veggies. That's it. And the waitress comes over, plunks down some buffalo chicken dumplings. And I'm like, I text Angie, I'm like, you motherfucker. Oh, he called ahead. He called it in. He called it. My buddy's sitting in the corner. Can you deliver some? Oh, that's funny. And they were, did you have them? Yeah. I had two. They were delicious.
They look like they had a lot of sodium in them. Do they? No, no, no. Do they? No, they don't.
Chapter 3: Does your dog need Prozac or do you?
You look beautiful. Am I looking popular? I wanted to tell you about Ricky. What happened to Ricky? This is pretty wild. Gervais? No, my dog. He got another special. Wait, did he lose a number?
Is he bringing the office back? What's happening? I love that we always go to you for our Ricky Gervais news. You're always up on what Ricky's up to.
I like to keep up on it. Tracy, Ricky is your brother's dog. Yeah, she knows that. So he was being watched by this friend of ours who watches a lot of dogs or whatever. And one of the dogs that this person was watching has to take Prozac, right? Oh, sure. Of course. It's Los Angeles dog. It's California.
Lots of problems in the world, but California dogs need antidepressants. It's pretty stressful. It drops from 68 to 72 without any warning. You can bail out now if you want, by the way. If you feel, okay, you're in deep.
Yeah, you're waist deep. So she gives the dog his one Prozac and she puts the bottle on the counter and Ricky jumps up, knocks it over and eats 10 of them. 10 Prozac. I'm not kidding. And so we, it's such a long story, but we had to take him to the vet and blah, blah, blah. And they punt, they had to like make him throw up or whatever. And I'm talking to the vet and I'm like, what's the deal?
And he's like, well, there's 50, 50 chance. I'm like, that he's going to die? He goes, yeah. Like, so matter of fact. And I was like, I kind of appreciated that he said it's so cavalier, but I was also like, Bedside Manor was really bad.
Anyway, and then the story is he's all good. I said to Sean, I said, I thought he was going to say that Ricky ate 10 Prozac and joined up with people. You know, like just got real positive and started touring the world. Just bringing joy to everybody, you know?
Yeah. All right, so let's get to the guest. Okay. My guest today is a fellow podcaster. He's one of the funniest people alive. A Boston native. He's a passionate Patriots fan. He's one of the few comedians to sell at Madison Square Garden, London's Royal Albert Hall. And two years ago, he made history as the first comedian to ever perform at Fenway Park.
Our listeners have seen him in one of his eight billion brilliant comedy specials or live tours. Did Will get it? Did Will get what? Did I say Bill Burr? He said Bill Burr. I don't know, maybe. And he's been on my smart list for years. It's the hilarious Bill Burr! What? All right, it's Bill Burr. Hey. What's up, guys? Hey, so sorry about the delay. We've been having all those tech issues.
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Chapter 4: How did Bill Burr become viral during a hostile show?
Yeah, it has been 57 years, but we're building because we like drama, okay? We could be like you guys and be, you know, fucking one and done. You guys haven't won since you won back in 2008 or whatever it was.
No, 2011. Yeah, this century, last decade. Fine. You haven't won since Lyndon Johnson. Yeah. You haven't won since before we faked a lunar landing. It's been a while. I knew it.
I forgot that you're also a conspiracy theorist. I forgot like an artist.
They were still playing with straight sticks. They didn't have the... Stan Mikita hadn't figured it out yet.
It's true. Straight sticks. Now, did you ever play hockey? Goalie didn't have a mask.
Did you play... Old Curly Johnson between the pipes tonight. And a young Will Arnett. All right, let's get off. Sorry.
Sean, first question for your guest.
I have a ton. Well, I don't know you, Bill. Well, first of all, just a comment. It's not a thing. I saw you the first time I think I ever met you was at Ted Sarandos' house sometime last year at this comedy dinner thing. And you were one of the good guys. Yeah, the medieval manor. It's a total medieval man.
I always feel like when I go there at some point, all our AI replacements are going to come up out of the basement. And kill their human versions. Like AI Dave Chappelle is going to come up.
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Chapter 5: What happened during Bill Burr's infamous Philly incident?
It was this fairy tale that white people made up because we didn't want to admit that the Red Sox didn't integrate till like 1992. And that's why we couldn't win.
it's because we traded some fat fuck like during World War I and that's and if you do that all of a sudden you're not I mean at some point when are you going to take responsibility that you had an all white team right through the middle mid 60s yeah right
Oh my God, wait, but that, I'm going to talk about something that you're probably so sick of talking about, but I didn't know this until I watched it just recently, the Philly incident thing. So if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to talk about it. But I watched- I don't know about it.
Fill me in. Okay, so- She told me she was of age. Uh-huh.
Fucking, that's all I need. Thank you.
Oh, not that one? Not that one?
No, no, no, not for here. Not for here. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is funny. So Jay, he was in Philadelphia and he was doing standup and right away he got a heckler that booed him and it goes, and he hits back. He doubles down and then triples down and pushes the audience. I watched the whole thing. I couldn't stop laughing. It was so fucking funny how you turned on the audience so hard and
for so long. And he was counting the minutes. And by the way, you ended that whole rant in Philly with all of you go fuck yourselves in your own assholes. Well, I wanted to make sure it was consensual. I've got to see this. This is on YouTube? It's 14 minutes of him nonstop berating the audience. And I was crying laughing. Because of one heckler got after you? No, the guy kept going and going.
It was this radio show, the Opie and Anthony show, one of the big breaks I had in my career. Opie Anthony and Jimmy Norton got me on that show, and that's when I first started selling tickets. So they had a bunch of comics on there, the late, great Patrice O'Neill, Voss, Bobby Kelly, all of these guys. And they decided to do a stand-up tour.
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Chapter 6: How did Bill Burr handle a heckler who threw a shoe?
And I was able to turn it around because I looked, you know, I picked up the shoe and the shoe was, oh my God, it looked like it got dragged down the street by a bus, right? So it was like, like really quiet in the place. I was like, you know, I was going to get mad But then I looked at this shoe and then they all started laughing. And I was like, and I realized this isn't about me.
This is about a childhood of no hugs. I forget what it was. And all I remember was I got everyone to laugh again. And then she came down to the stage to get her shoe. Wow. Oh, wow. So- I was like, what are we doing? We gonna like hug this out? We gonna hug it out? And she was cool. She came up, we gave a big hug. I gave her a shoe back. And it was so cool.
Like a few weeks later, I was riding the downtown six. I was living on the Upper East Side at the time. And I ran into this woman that was at the show. And she was just like, I was at your show. And that woman threw the shoe and she goes, me and my friends are still talking about that and blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, like once again, no one knew who I was.
So those little like moments of validation of like, oh my God, like they went to my show. Not only did they like it, they're talking about it. Like they remember you. Well, yeah, those are those little things along the way as you keep getting... you know, kicked in the chest to keep you going.
Bill, I wanted to ask just about something that you mentioned earlier reminded me, because I've seen you talk about it before, and I remember talking about somebody asking you if you were nervous about... Fuck, I forget what it was, whether it was like Conan or... Yes is the answer, whatever it is. If you were nervous about... No was the answer.
About what people... No, it was Bill Maher asking what your reaction to... What your reaction was to people online and their comments about shit that you said. And I loved what you said at the time. It was just like, I don't give a fuck what 100 people on Twitter say, a bunch of fucking losers. And you kind of went off on a bit of a thing about it. Oh, yeah, that is true. Yes. Right?
And talk a little bit about that because I remember you, because earlier you were saying it was early on in probably in social media when you did the show, the Opie and Andy show in Philadelphia. And then you were worried about what it was going to do online. It'd go viral, blah, blah, blah. Now you don't give a shit about what people say. Is that true? Is that kind of what I'm getting at?
Yeah, I just kind of learned, you know, there was that weird period in stand-up where it started with the Me Too movement, which was amazing that it went from like, let's get rapists and sexual assaulters out of the business. And within like 18 months, it became like, hey, I don't like what you're talking about in your stand-up act. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your career's over. It just got spun off.
out of control. Like, so, and then that's when people started, I would be doing interviews and they were saying, you know, some of the statements you made last night on stage, it's like, there was no statements. There was no jokes.
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