Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2547: Stop Trying to Get Your Kids in Shape! Do This Instead!
Thu, 06 Mar 2025
Stop Trying to Get Your Kids in Shape! Do This Instead! Stop trying to get your kids in shape! Try these 6 methods instead. (1:38) #1 - Be the example. (2:15) #2 - Foster a good relationship with exercise and eating healthy. (9:43) #3 - Give them options consisting of protein, something new, something they love. (17:22) #4 - Use bodyweight and suspension trainers. (25:17) #5 - Play with them. (27:03) #6 - Reduce screen time with time limits. (31:57) Questions: I have dual custody, and my ex doesn’t agree with my approach to health and fitness. How do you suggest navigating this? (39:47) How do I turn the ship with my teenage kids? (43:44) My kids are picky eaters. Do you have any strategies? (50:46) What are some healthy snack ideas for on-the-go? (52:27) Related Links/Products Mentioned Visit Our Place for an exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! **Promo code MINDPUMP at checkout to receive 10% off sitewide. Our Place offers a 100-day trial with free shipping and returns. ** MAPS Transform Special Launch! ** Code TRANSFORM70 at checkout. $70 Off Gym + At Home workouts. Includes: Adam’s 90-Day Body Recomp Journal, and the MAPS Transformation Diet Guide. ** The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind How Mothers Influence Their Daughters' Body Image Mind Pump # 1877: Obesity, It’s Not Your Genetics Mind Pump # 2277: The Five Best Sports for Kids Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked – Book by Adam Alter Mind Pump Podcast – YouTube Mind Pump Free Resources
Chapter 1: What methods should parents use instead of focusing on getting kids in shape?
Even if the parents chastise the behavior or communicate to the kids, don't do this, don't do this, even though they do it themselves, the odds, and the data on this is very clear, the odds that the child will follow in the footsteps of their parents is incredibly high. Children... listen to actions far more than they listen to words.
So if you want your child to lead a healthy lifestyle, 90% of all of your success is going to be leading it yourself and being the example.
Neurons that fire together, wire together. Yeah. That was in the book that I'm reading right now with raising children. And that's one of the things they talk about is that if the kid sees something a pattern in a behavior and then makes that connection, it is now wired, especially if it's a first experience.
Example they gave in the book is like, you know, your kid gets done with their first sporting event or they did something and you take them to ice cream. It's like the first. Now, every time they do that, they will then.
Drives me crazy.
they will expect it because Dave, that's what they, that's the first connection they've made is, Oh, after volleyball practice, I get ice cream. And I'm not saying I'm not using that as an example to make it to say that's bad per se, but just keeping that in mind that when we introduce things to our kids or we show things to our kids,
when it's the first connection or the first thing they make, or, hey, let's go out to dinner this Friday. And the first place you take them is McDonald's. You now have wired that of like, oh, Friday's a fun night. We go out there. It's that experience. And it's now solidified that this is a behavior they expect going forward.
That's right. But to get even more, to make it even more important, or should I say to really hammer this home, that what you're communicating, Adam, I think a lot of people on the surface would get that. Like, okay, don't take my kids to eat certain foods or don't reward them with certain things or activities that are not necessarily healthy, which makes a lot of sense.
I think a lot of people would say that makes a lot of sense. But what a lot of people don't realize is that, let's say you don't even do that, but you yourself...
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Chapter 2: How can parents be an example for a healthy lifestyle?
eat uh particular ways or are inactive in particular ways and they observe your behaviors in fact when you look at the data on uh body image issues for example they have some data on girls and body image issues and eating disorders one of the strongest connections there's a lot of things that can contribute to but one of them is how mom talks about herself
So it's not about how mom talks to her daughter. That's an obvious one. I think everybody knows if you tell your kid or you, that you can very much impose a body image issue on your child or cause them to have poor self-image by the way you talk to them. That's obvious. But a lot of kids will internalize what you say about yourself.
So mom looking in the mirror and saying, you know, even under her breath, oh my God, I'm so fat. Or looking at a picture with her family. Oh my God, look how fit I was there. I'm so gross now or whatever. The child hears that and starts to adopt it. And the same is true for your behaviors with activity, with nutrition. I remember having this conversation with a client myself.
This woman had hired me and I had been training her for maybe three or four months. And she had come in with her kid. And oftentimes I would have clients bring their kids to the workouts. I used to own a private studio. And he never wanted that to prevent people from exercising. It was my studio. I didn't mind it. I love kids anyway. It was small, so it never didn't really get in the way.
So I tell my clients, hey, if you need to bring your kid, you can go and bring your kid and we'll set them over here and I'll make sure that they have fun while we work out type of deal. So she brought her son who was I think it was like 10. And he comes in with chicken nuggets from McDonald's, which I didn't even think twice about. I'm not watching it and judging.
A lot of people think trainers judge everybody. That's not the case. She just brought him in. He was sitting there. But she came to me and she said, Sal, can you now please tell my son why he shouldn't be eating this? And she put me on the spot. And so I looked at the kid and I said, you know, there's other good options. And then I kind of changed it. I said, you like those.
They taste good, right? He's like, yeah. I said, okay, cool. And so changed the subject, moved away. And then I looked at the mom and I said, who bought those for him? And she said, I did. And I said, this is not an issue with your child making the wrong decisions. He's being provided these options. And so, and you know, she... She looked at me and kind of understood it.
But really, it's about being the example yourself. When you have two healthy parents in a home, the odds that the children will be healthy are astronomically high. When you have two unhealthy parents in a home, the odds that the children will be unhealthy are also astronomically high. And this is why they try to say it's genetics. Well, obesity is genetics, which is actually false.
There are genetics that can contribute to whether you gain more or less weight, but obesity as we know it is not genetic. It's a relatively modern phenomenon, and it follows families because of the behaviors of the people that lead the families, the parents.
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Chapter 3: Why is fostering a positive relationship with exercise and healthy eating important?
uh you know without that infusion of force but but show them this is why i do this all the time this is why you know this is helping my body and like the reason and the rationale with it have that open communication instead of it being so closed off black and white like you do this or you don't do this and you're gonna get fat yeah so i i think it's important that we share what that sounds like i mean i you got what you guys are both saying obviously is right um
with a healthy relationship with exercise and with also a healthy relationship with food, what I think is important is what does that sound like when you talk about when, because I think people that listen to this podcast for the most part, I think are either already on a health and fitness journey or embarking on one. And probably a lot of them have kids.
And they're probably going in their gym and working on their house. They're probably making good food choices, weighing and maybe even measuring and tracking their macros. And so what does it look like when my son goes, Daddy, why are you weighing your food? Or why are you tracking that?
What are the words that you're communicating to them that shows them that you have a healthy relationship with it and not that it's the unhealthy version of that?
What does that look like? Yeah, so, dad, why are you doing that exercise? Oh, man, I love it. It feels really good. And then you wait. And then they'll ask you another question. What do you mean it feels really good? I feel stronger when I do it. Or it makes my shoulders feel good. Hey, dad, why are you eating those foods? I love them. They taste so good. They make me feel good. What do you mean?
How do they make you feel good? First of all, they probably won't ask that second question, but sometimes they do. Well, how does it make you feel good? Well... This food has a lot of X, Y, and Z, and that's how it affects the body. And I really like the way it makes me feel. That's how it's convenient. Why are you weighing your food, dad?
Well, I love eating this food, but sometimes I weigh it to make sure I'm getting the right amount. But don't worry. I know how to give you the right amount of your foods and your body will tell you. when you're eating the right amount. You know, that's kind of how it's communicated, but it does come from honesty and it comes from a positive communication and positive behaviors around it.
Not, why do you work out? I don't want to be fat. Why are you eating that way? I don't want to be unhealthy.
No, no. I think I love the idea of, you know, energy, sleep, strength, feeling better. These are the words that I'm using of why I'm doing the thing. Why I'm exercising, why I'm weighing and measuring food is because when daddy does these things, I get the food that my body needs. I feel the best. I'm the strongest I am. I'm more productive at work. I'm a better daddy for you.
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Chapter 4: What strategies can help picky eaters develop varied tastes?
have them do these specific movements where they understand their limitations, they're understanding the challenges that they're applying to themselves through their own body weight movements where we start adding load and then it turns into a different type of experience for them.
I really think that this point blends with your next point to me. It's like at this point, at this stage of their life, the exercise body weight suspension trainer
weight training is part of play it's all it's all play to me it's this I'm not trying to get my kid to have great squat mechanics right now or do him he's like so young and little that that's so beyond him right now I just want him to have a good relationship with oh the family comes in the garage and we lift weights and that could look like him coming over and just seeing if he could pick a dumbbell up or not or
put hold something over his head or can he hold on to the bar and how long can he hold his grip on it's more play than it is exercise at that point for me is just like and just building that healthy relationship with him that this is a time we enjoy that we like doing that we get together as a family sometimes and do that daddy or mommy are consistent with it so he just sees us doing all of it but I don't ever find myself say the same way that I have with the sports I would love my kid to play sports but I know better than to
force him to do that it's like if he wants to play and kick the ball around I'm there to do it we do it for a little bit and then he decides he doesn't want to do it anymore and it's like that's it you know I'm saying it's not there's no we got to do more or let's try this or hey do you want to do this it's like I'm going to do it hopefully he joins in a little bit when he does we're going to make it more like play and in a time of enjoyment and then hopefully that lays the foundation for
The deeper, bigger questions as he ages.
What's crazy about this, and this is a tough one, I think, for parents to just reconcile because we get tired, we get, you know, overworked or whatever. But your kids, especially when your kids are under the age of like 10, right, when they're when they're little. Your kids will play with you until you decide to stop for the most part. Like they just want to hang out with mom and dad.
Now they become teenagers, different story. But when they're little, if you want your kids to be active, it's far less effective to go tell them to be active. It's far more effective than to be like, let's go play. Let's go ride our bikes. Let's go throw the ball around. Let's play hide and seek. Let's play chase. Let me throw the Frisbee. You go get it. And you can come up with strategies.
Look, I'm a dad. I'm the expert at this. I can come up with strategies that require less activity for me and more activity for my kids when I get real tired. Like wrestling, I lay on the ground, you try and hold me down. It requires very little for me with my really little ones. But your kids will play with you as long as you want. So playing with them is a wonderful way to get them to be active.
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Chapter 5: How can bodyweight and suspension training benefit children?
Oh, my God. Nuts, cheese, fruit. Beef jerky.
Any kind of protein.
They're great, especially fruit. Most kids like fruit, but fruit, nuts, cheese. Cheese sticks. Yeah, dude. Hard-boiled eggs. My kids love hard-boiled eggs. Anything that stays healthy. in a package for a while? Greek yogurt. My son loves Greek yogurt. Oh, yeah, yogurt's a good one.
Loves Greek yogurt. Yeah, I mean, I think this is important. Again, I have friends that, I mean, Katrina and I, we have meal times. And if he's hungry between a meal and wants a snack, he has certain snacks that he has access to. We've created those options.
We do the same thing. We have like a little fridge.
He has a low, he has a low basket in the pantry that he can go reach and get. And even then, like we're even, we're even mindful of like how much of that we're like, okay, you can have, you can have one of those before we eat in an hour or mommy can make you dinner. Now, if you're that hungry, if you're that hungry, we can eat dinner now, or you can have one of your snacks that you have over there.
And so that's kind of how we manage this. But again, it's, it's the options. It's the option is choosing those good, all those options you guys said, and having them, the ability to have access to that. The thing that gets dangerous is the Lay's Doritos and chips, Cheez-Its and these snacks that are so palatable. These kids can just.
Especially if you're eating them and you're giving your kid the cheese stick. Can't have them in the house. And they're seeing you eat the, you know, candy or whatever. That's tough.
It's too powerful a thing to fight.
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