James McCann, Kam Patterson, William Montgomery, Ari Matti, Hans Kim, D Madness, Michael A. Gonzales, Jon Deas, Matthew Muehling, Joe White, Kristie Nova, Yoni, Troy Conrad, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban - RECORDED– 02/10/2025 TONY HINCHCLIFFE @TONYHINCHCLIFE TONYHINCHCLIFFE.COM BRIAN REDBAN @REDBAN DEATHSQUAD.TV SUNSETSTRIPATX.COM Get $80 off your first month with promo code SPACE80 at https://talkspace.com/tony. Go to https://shopify.com/killtony to upgrade your selling today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: Where can I find Tony Hinchcliffe's tour dates?
Tickets are on sale for all my upcoming stand-up dates. Detroit, Atlantic City, Niagara Falls, Mount Pleasant, Michigan, West Valley City, aka Salt Lake City, Utah, Reno, Nevada, Anaheim, California, and Las Vegas, Nevada. Tickets are on sale now for my stand-up comedy featuring some of your favorite characters from the show, especially me. All tickets are at TonyHinchcliffe.com right now.
Hey, this is Rabbit, coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas, for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony! Let's go!
Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives? Huh? Thanks so much for Brian Red Band, ladies and gentlemen. And indeed, one more time for the best damn band in the land. That's the Kill Tony Band, everybody. Brought to you by Vaya and Blue Chew. That is indeed Grooveline Horns, Fernando Castillo, Raul Vallejo, and Carlos Sosa, Nachos Belgrande.
That is Big Mike, Michael Gonzalez on the drums. They came here all the way from the Gulf of America to be here, that fucking side of the stage. How exciting. Officially changed on Google just an hour ago, everyone. I'm here to proudly announce that that bay is now the Gulf of America. That's Bant Muehling on the electric guitar, John Dees on the keys, and Dee Madness on the bass guitar.
How about one more time for the real Marcus King that was just up here, huh? One of the best musicians in the world here in the live music capital of the world, the live comedy capital of the world. And we will be right back. Here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible. Are you guys ready to start tonight's show? All right.
Sometimes there's three, sometimes there's two. A night like this, it's a one-guest show. And the reason why is because this guy is truly one of the frontrunners already for 2025 Guest of the Year. He is one of the funniest human beings on planet Earth. He's brand new. debut one-hour special is out right now. It's called Hey America, and you can find it on Matt and Shane's secret podcast YouTube.
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Chapter 2: Who is the special guest on this episode?
Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for one of the funniest human beings in the world, James McCann, everyone. Here he is. Fresh off of being the guest in an arena on New Year's Eve here at the H-E-B Center.
Chapter 3: What happened during the commercial break?
Are we going to address that during the commercial break that was the most insane and rowdy back and forward?
Why would we address that? Because it was during a commercial break, James. You could have said anything just now and it would have been better than, can we ignore it?
Let me tell you, it's worth coming to the show and not watching it online because there was a full weird situation in the commercial break.
It's a sold-out show every week, but yes, that's a good lesson.
Found out you loved antiquing. Oh, that's true. You think you can just bury that you love antiquing and we're not all going to want to talk about it?
We all love antiquing. When you're a millionaire, you're going to be into antiquing too, James. It's fun to buy old baller-ass shit in the middle of Texas.
Let me tell you. You wouldn't know yet. Tony, with all the gay rumors floating around, was quick to kibosh his love of antiquity.
I'm out. I'm out. It's no longer a rumor. I'm out.
You would be such a good Antiques Roadshow host as well. I want to. It's worth nothing! Get him out!
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Chapter 4: How did Martin Phillips perform his comedy set?
Thanks. Do you have cats? No, I do not have stray cats hanging out on my patio. But I do not own them if they hang out there.
Why do you think the stray cats like your patio so much?
I don't know. In order that they can't hang out there, I bought them a bed. So now... They got the cool, they got the hook up. I'm the plug for the cat. I need that water. I need that drink to get out the fucking bed.
Well, that's not them hanging out there. You're luring these cats.
I know. I know. It's actually, it's like they hang out there. I never see them. They run away. It's like I actually own a cat in a way. You got a special cage for them just in case they want to relax a bit? You put a bed out there. What else have you done? You put a little fucking, you put a little can of tuna out there. No, I don't want them to become dependent on me, so I just need water.
You know, cats eat people after they die.
You think that they see you walking in and sense a meal coming soon? They gotta find a way into a fucking apartment, so good luck, Mr. Cat, getting inside.
Now, your opening joke was about your strength, is that correct? The strength of your hand? I'll pick my hand there.
Oh. What do you think? I can fit a lot. I can grip.
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Chapter 5: What are some highlights from Kojak Kareems' set?
What's the name? You're spilling beer because his grip is so weak. Ladies and gentlemen, your first bucket full of the night. A brand new minute. We're going to meet them all together. Make some noise for Kojak Kareemz, everybody. Kojak Kareemz. Here comes Kojak.
Yeah, go birds. We got them, baby. We got him with the tush push. It's my favorite move. What's up? Hey, what's good? I'm black and I'm gay. I know what you're thinking, man. Pick a struggle already, bro. Black or gay? Come on, you're hogging the body of pressure for everybody. But imagine being me, right? Half the country's racist. Half the country's homophobic.
And here I am, right in the middle, taking it from both sides. And I'm taking it good, too. I'm like the Gaza Strip. My asshole's being bombarded so much you'd think it was a hospital. And all because I like Yemen. Yemen, Yemen, Yemen, hey. You'd think that was controversial. My Haitian friend is calling for an all-out geese fire. Geese fire, okay.
All right, thank you. That's my time. Wow, Kojak. Kareem's, everyone. Welcome. Black, gay, and bad at comedy, I have written down here. That's incredible. You got everything against you. Kojak, you were very excited to promote the birds, the Philadelphia Eagles. Are you from Philly? Go birds, that's right.
Go birds, Philly.
Okay, we hear you. Are you from Philadelphia?
I am.
Wow, so you have a lot in common with...
Yep, there we go. Celtics, I thought that was great.
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Chapter 6: What is Jenna Sparrow's comedic style like?
All right. James?
It's business and pleasure at that restaurant by the sounds of things. Goodness me.
You suck one dick on accident and they call you gay.
Tell me about it.
You did seem over-eager to hear about how a gay relationship could work. Well, it is exciting. Like I said, there's never a gay relationship. The lesbians manage to do it every single time. Exactly.
Lesbians are straight into a relationship. Gay guys, very, very rarely. Where would you meet them at?
Back home in Philly. We're both from Philly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But where in Philly? Like, what were you guys doing?
Let's see here.
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Chapter 7: How does Aya's comedy reflect her cultural background?
Like fun places or like, you know. That's how you know he loves you, right? Every time I hear a guy say that dating is hard, I'm like, trust me, it could be harder. Try wearing a turtleneck in July. That's very difficult. Okay. No, I have this thing about me, like, if I love you, I'll put up with anything. It's called a Nicole Brown Simpson attachment style. Attachment style.
That's the clinical term, I think. Thank you. Thank you, guys.
Jenna Sparrow. Hi, Jenna. Tony, hey. How's it going? How are you?
Good. How are you?
I'm fantastic. Hi, guys. Hello.
Hi.
Welcome, welcome, James. You do an art podcast.
Yeah, I do. I do an art history comedy podcast, yeah, called The Bad Art Show. Yeah.
How do you know that, James?
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